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maya-malfoy1012 · 2 years ago

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Right! Hello! It’s episode 4 (of TDJ) time. I watched this ages ago but life got in the way, so that’s why there’s been a bit of a pause from my episode reactions. So, my review/thoughts won’t be quite as in-depth as I will be referring to (my page-long) notes. But I hope they’re still entertaining!!

[Terrible quality screenshots are incoming]

I want to start off by saying that I really enjoyed this episode, I feel like it was set up nicely into 4 different sections: The court case/the Mum (Acting as the “net”, i.e the sequence of events which will lead to Daddy Bandit getting his revenge) The Dinner Party (The people he will be rounding up) J.S.A’s character reveal (The “hitch” in this plan) The backstory (The reason for the revenge)

I enjoyed Ji Sung’s acting choices in this episode, I feel like it's the first time we see real nuances to his characterisation of Daddy Bandit. I personally really enjoyed the way he interacts with Nam Jang in one of the opening scenes. He’s acting like Mister Big Bollocks but as soon as she turns away, he deflates just enough for us to know that something is going on with him. I really appreciate that subtly.

In terms of the revenge storyline, I like it but I do think it’s a little convenient for the plot. However, I do believe there’s something else going on beyond what we know (otherwise it’ll be too easy). I like the way he punished Nam Jang and her son (reminds me of SPOILER the rapist and his dad’s punishment from The Crowned Clown); although, I wish… right, okay, when it came to the flagellation scenes, I just wished they had used a whip, or flog, or the cat of nine tails, etc. instead of using a belt. It just didn’t have the same impact (ba dum tss), for me at least. I love the concept of the punishment and how it enraged Nam Jang, forcing her to show a lack of care towards another child. [also the Daddy Bandit cult uprising???? hello!!! that is scary]

The dinner scene…. Well….. I’m going to ignore Gaon for a sec because I have thoughts about him and instead, want to focus on Daddy Bandit being clever. I like how he’s brought Gaon into the picture and showed him the people he intends on murdering/getting revenge on (not that Gaon can see that). I like the last episode of Squid Game vibes for the dinner sequence.

I like how the classical music crescendoed to a point where the visuals and music were claustrophobic in nature.

[Side note: the sexual assault scene made me very uncomfortable because of the lack of action from the other characters. Which definitely seemed like the intended purpose and of course, for it to be something egregious enough that J.S.A broke her facade to reveal her true dominatrix Mother self…. I love this for her, I wasn’t surprised by it but I do like this choice for her character. I feel like she’s going to be such a headache and perhaps… an “ally” turned villain turned “ally” turned… so on and so on.] The actual church scene had some very nice pacing. I did find some of the choices to be a little obvious (the “rich people are scumbags” narrative and the way the fireman stole the watch… the way none of the paramedics cared to check on a burnt man and an unconscious child??? ALSO, smoke inhalation is more dangerous than fire, so they probably both would have died or become brain damaged from that level of exposure) BUT I found the sequence overall to be so tragic. Also this shot:

Is so renaissance painting… it’s frankly beautiful. The religious imagery throughout this show is really tastefully done!! I love to see it! [I feel like this shot reference an actual painting but I can't figure out which one] Also…. Daddy Bandit is Phantom of the Opera CHURCH (especially with that chalandier drop)

Okay… now onto Gaon. WHAT IS THIS BOY’S PROBLEM??? Why is he still living at DB's gothic mansion??? Why is he acting like Madame of the house? He’s bonding with his new stepdaughter/niece. He's getting reallllllly comfortable, even referring to the room he sleeps in as "his" room.... duddddeee! (gender neutral) How embarrassing! The clothes-changing scene had SO much queer-subtext that it is basically 100% text. Also, Daddy Bandit really brought his twink to a work event as his plus one and really confirmed to the audience (and himself) that Gaon is not interested in women... and actually, sexual advances/flirtatious attention from them (or any age) make him uncomfortable.

I found the unneeded physical contact to be sooooo telling. [also the opposite - almost yin and yang - colour scheme is interesting... the way Gaon's silhouette is quite "feminine"...]

ALSO also!! Is Gaon going around wearing Daddy Bandit’s clothes?

Cause, unless I missed something, they’ve not shown him going home, he hasn’t gone shopping, D.B hasn’t gone shopping… sooo??? This guy is really out here investigating his employer (with whom he lives) whilst wearing his undies. COME ON!!! he's so silly

Also TDJ and BE both have their twinks directly (and with WAY too much confidence) accusing their love interest of murdering their sibling. I just wished BE had given us Dong Sik pinning Joo Won against the wall by the throat…. Joo Won would have cried his eyes out (and just died from being too horny) whereas Gaon was super into it??? This BOY!!! I can’t! (he really said "choke me harder, daddy bandit!! prove to me you didn't kill your sibling whilst awakening a kink in me")

Anyway, yes, I wrote more notes but I don’t remember what they mean anymore. But overall, I really did enjoy this episode the most so far. I hope my ramblings are amusing! Bye for now :)

SO, hi! I'm so slow in replying to ask helpp but tbf to myself this week's been hectic (currently writing this as my sir bails on my session T-T).

Episode 04, that fucker.

So, my review/thoughts won’t be quite as in-depth as I will be referring to (my page-long) notes. But I hope they’re still entertaining!!

I love hearing your thoughts, it doesn't matter if it's in depth or not 😂 Besides how could I not find your thoughts on Hoodie-Daddy-Trauma Bandit lmao

Imo, TDJ so far has done a very good job of sectioning off arcs, scenes and interactions. (A bit derailing thought but storyline wise) Gaon is subjected to this divide between Kang Yohan the Chief and Kang Yohan the man who roams the rouse in robes and although there's certain overlaps between the two personas ("I saw him driving recklessly" "Did you see something else?"), Gaon doesn't necessarily make it a point to interact with them in a similar way? At least in the ending of Ep3 and start of Ep4 (e.g when Gaon doesn't showcase much of the deference expected in workplaces when he teases Yohan or that one scene before the party where he turns this way and that on bed talking to Yohan). But the party! I think it's intentional on Yohan's part but the party! It completely rekindled that suspicion (+forced Gaon back into the role of the spy/Judas --and that's something I find interesting too, the role given to Gaon). And you're right!

I like how he’s brought Gaon into the picture and showed him the people he intends on murdering/getting revenge on (not that Gaon can see that). I like the last episode of Squid Game vibes for the dinner sequence.

Remember the revenge plot? I only realised this way later (still stuck on ep 10 help) but Yohan is essentially showing off the face of his brother to the people he intends to get revenge on and just, waits, observes to see if anyone can remember. ANd no ONe REMEBERS. I feel like from the subtle nuances of emotions we've seen from Yohan, that even a little remorse or reflection would have gone a long way but who knows.

I like how the classical music crescendoed to a point where the visuals and music were claustrophobic in nature.

I agree, it was very Squid Game vibes. It was just, a cacophony. Something meant to be beautiful & bearable turned vicious in its stifling chaos.

SO, this wasn't an observation of mine but I read it somewhere where they juxtaposed this SA scene with the extremely uncomfy vibes with Chairman Seo and Oh Jinjoo from the other ball/party. How in the previous one Kang Yohan was able to save Oh Jinjoo whereas when Jung Sun-ah tried ("She's an associate Judge...") she was brushed off but in the second party Jung Sun-ah was able to save the waitress whereas Yohan couldn't because of the persona/role he was playing. It was speculated/theorised that it's the status of the victims that allowed such difference? The waitress was practically no one, so letting her go (in public) would no impact anyone but the associate judge however is a much bigger presence and holding off the chairman could have questioned the roles.

Also, when you said SA, I originally thought of Gaon being literally submerged under those ladies (i think in an interesting way, that also juxtaposes with Oh Jinjoo's experience. While her interaction was taken as something to be wary of Gaon's isn't seen with the same lense of seriousness?)

the “rich people are scumbags” narrative and the way the fireman stole the watch… the way none of the paramedics cared to check on a burnt man and an unconscious child??? ALSO, smoke inhalation is more dangerous than fire, so they probably both would have died or become brain damaged from that level of exposure) BUT I found the sequence overall to be so tragic.

It does seem like the obvious plot route for why Yohan does what he does, especially with "the rich people are scumbags but oh whats this its not like poor people are any better" (cue Yohan and Gaon's convo returning from the party) but I think the whole set up, esp the renaissance painting feel, is actually hinting at a idk Shakespearean level of tragedy?

Also the look Yohan gives the camera, cradling little Elijah is chilling

Okay so! The religious imagery! I'm not closely related or know of much Christianity so idk much but, it's very interesting how from the beginning Yohan is implied to be Jesus when Gaon is given the role of Judas, meant to betray (?) Jesus/Yohan and, "Jesus knew that Judas would betray Him. And yet He chose Judas as a disciple and kept him near. The Bible doesn't say why, other than Jesus knew that God had a plan"

So. I'm very much excited to see where this story goes. Also another reference to Yohan having the role of Jesus is the bloody cross on his back ffs.

Can we also talk about (how I totally didnt know) how Judas' full name is Judas Isacriot and how it means City Slicker??

plus, Judas is known to have betrayed Jesus because he was possessed by Satan? It's very interesting that Yohan is called the Devil when he's also hinted to be Jesus and the side portrayed to have uphold justice is associated with Devil / or the priests who called for Jesus's fall.

Also…. Daddy Bandit is Phantom of the Opera CHURCH (especially with that chalandier drop)

that chandelier drop took me out

Okay… now onto Gaon. WHAT IS THIS BOY’S PROBLEM???

I wonder the same thing... Gaon pls what is going in on your brain

Why is he still living at DB's gothic mansion??? Why is he acting like Madame of the house? He’s bonding with his new stepdaughter/niece. He's getting reallllllly comfortable, even referring to the room he sleeps in as "his" room.... duddddeee! (gender neutral) How embarrassing!

Han Juwon only broke in a few thousand times but Gaon said "fuck that this is my home now" My dude honestly took to the role of spouse/lady of the house like fish in water.

The clothes-changing scene had SO much queer-subtext that it is basically 100% text.

I kid you not, I literally screamed at that scene.

Also, Daddy Bandit really brought his twink to a work event as his plus one and really confirmed to the audience (and himself) that Gaon is not interested in women... and actually, sexual advances/flirtatious attention from them (or any age) make him uncomfortable.

Kang Yohan: Two birds in one stone

I found the unneeded physical contact to be sooooo telling. [also the opposite - almost yin and yang - colour scheme is interesting... the way Gaon's silhouette is quite "feminine"...]

THE CLOTHES! THE FUCKING CLOTHES! You are so right, also love how symbolically yin/yang are masculine/feminine energies. This show hints at a lot of things, I missed 2/3 of everything when I first watched the eps.

GEFJDCNIEFDJKC i think the clothes he wore in the manor are yohan's (or maybe new clothes who knows, daddy bandit is a rich bandit afterall) but i think maaaaybe the clothes he's wearing here are his? i mean he could very well have dropped by his house before meeting soohyun idk but itd be hilarious if they're yohan's clothes pls

I just wished BE had given us Dong Sik pinning Joo Won against the wall by the throat…. Joo Won would have cried his eyes out (and just died from being too horny) whereas Gaon was super into it??? This BOY!!! I can’t! (he really said "choke me harder, daddy bandit!! prove to me you didn't kill your sibling whilst awakening a kink in me")

REIDJKCXIRDSJKRE SDHELPP I CANTHIJDF

I agree, but! in a weird way I also can't see Dongsik doing that to Juwon? Like, hmmm idk man, maybe it's because I don't see Dongsik as a violent person? His go to is fucking with the other guy mentally not throw fists, like even with Kang Jinmook, as a victim he could have knocked the mf out and blamed it on grieving smth smth but he holds back and instead schemes and talks (even when Kang Jinmook tried to strangle him). But oh boy Yohan and Gaon. Well. Yeah they seem super into that "hold me by the throat sir"/"pin me against the wall" thingerfjkd

Anyway, yes, I wrote more notes but I don’t remember what they mean anymore. But overall, I really did enjoy this episode the most so far. I hope my ramblings are amusing! Bye for now :)

That's so fair, I write some notes I leave for 5 mins i come back I have no clue what they mean anymore. It was very amusing, thank you for your rambling lmao, ta for now :)

#kim gaon taking one step closer to achieving stage 1 of pathetic han juwon #meanwhile daddy bandit is. well. daddy bandit #the devil judge #kang yohan #kim gaon

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phant0mgh0ulx · 3 years ago

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The Pirate King | Part 3

If you don ́t like this kind of fanfiction, you are under 18 or a minor pls don ́t read it and block me but don ́t repot this/ don ́t copy my work!!!

Pairing: fem!reader x Seonghwa, sub!reader x dom!Seonghwa, ot8!pirates

Genre: smut, angst, pirate au, pirate!Seonghwa

Warnings: angst, blood, smut!, sir/daddy kink, unprotected sex, face fucking, petnames (princess, babygirl, whore), praising, degradation, dirty talk, size play, hair pulling, biting, marking, oral sex [ f receiving]

Words: 1,2k

Summary: You are the wife from a pirate captian..a really handsome captian named Park Seonghwa. You both and your crew based on 7 other pirates were on your journey through the 7 oceans and experienced many adventures.One day you fought against other pirates but suddenly you got kidnapped on another ship. Since that day Seonghwa and his crew are searching you.

Throwback: He placed a kiss on your forehead, "we should sleep now, it ́s late and tomorrow we will go back to our crew. You nooded, taking his hand into yours. After a few minutes the both of you fell asleep. Meanwhile on your ship. After you and Seonghwa escaped the rivals attacked your crew. It was a hard and intense fight, a few pirates died but your crew managed to win. The ship was covered with blood, dead bodys and water. No one was injured luckly. Now they were sealing around the island waiting for you two. Mingi was on the wheel controlling the ship, Hongjoong and Yeosang were looking for rivals, Jongho and San were cooking togehter in the kitchen and Wooyoung was cleaning the deck. All of them were worried about you two, if you are still alive. The night was really short for all of you

It was the next morning, the crew were already on their way to the island. The sun shone through the window, the ligth was warm on your skin as you woke up seeing your Husband laying under you sleeping peacefully. His skin glow and it looked so soft, like the skin from a doll. You looked at him a while, admiring his beauty, his soft lips, his fluffy, silver hair and his pretty nose. Some thoughs came into your head after seeing his nose. You remembered on the last sexy time you had with him, riding his pretty face and coming undon on it. You felt your clit pulsating between your legs. Seonghwa woke up, his eyes fell on you and a smile approached on his face. "Good morning princess, did you sleep well?" You nooded " Yes, what about my handsome Captian?" He smiled even more after hearing this name and gave you a kiss. "Yeah me too. Lets get ready i guess the boys are already waiting for us." And with this you two got up and dressed yourself. You opened the window, did the bedsheats and left the room. The old lady sat on her chair reading a book as you two came down the stairs, "thank you for letting us sleep here, have a good day." Seonghwa said and you left the house.

You looked around, the city was full with pirates and bandits. Seonghwa took your hand and walked through the side streets. Its was really loud here, some pirates were fighting, others sat in bars drinking. You reached near the harbor, seeing a familiar ship waiting for you two. Seonghwa raised his arm and waved. Hongjoong waved back and you smiled. "We are finally back, all together on the ship. I missed it so much" you said to Seonghwa. He nooded, laughing as he saw his crew. "Welcome back Captain and Y/n!!!" They all shouted as we entered the ship. Mingi run to you hugging you and the boys. "Thank god you are alive y/n, we worried about you two so much." yeosang said and the others nooded. "We are really glad to back here, we missed you guys too." Seonghwa respond. "We sail to the east" he commanded. The boys did what he said and you walked in the Captains cabin. The air was really warm, nothing had changed. You heard the door and your husband was standing in the door frame, watching you. "What are you doing down here? The weather is beautiful outside." "Ah i know but...I want some time alone with my Captain."

A smirk started to build on his face, he suddenly locked the door and you looked at him. "Oh so you want Daddy to make you feel good huh? What if the others will hear us? You screaming my name in the air while I ram my dick into your little throbbing pussy?" You blushed after hearing this last words, Seonghwa stepping forward near to you. He saw your flushed red face and laughed a bit. "Awww did Daddy made you shy hm? Don ́t worry babygirl, I will be gentle." With this his body was against yours. His hands on your waist holding you close to him, his lips brushing yours and his hot breath gave you goose bumps. He picked you up and placed you body on his desk. You pulled him in for an intense kiss, his tongue into your mouth, you whimpering as your legs get wobbly and your tummy felt like thousand butterflies. He stood between your legs that were wrapped around his waist. His hands were all over your body, massaging your breasts and undressing you. He pulled away from your lips and attacked your neck, marking and biting you. He was nibbling on your soft skin leaving purple bruises, licking over it and admiring his creation. Quiet moans left your mouth while he made your body weak.

He pulled away and took off his shirt, revealing his delicious abs. He got down on his knees, his hands wandering up to your thighs,squeezing them to tease you. His hands were now on your pants, undoing them and pushing them down with your panties. You were now sitting all naked infront of him, blushing while he scanned every part of your body. "Hmm babygirl you look gorgeous." he spoke. His hands spread your legs revealing your dripping core, his head were between your legs and you felt the cool air on your sex. He closed the gap between you two and his pretty lips started to suck on your clit. Moans left your lips and your hands griped his hair. His tongue slided between your folds, your hips began to rock up and down. He started to push his tongue into you and hummed because of the taste. "Ahh fuck- D-daddy.. " His nose were perfectly rubbing against your clit, hands on your hips helping you to find the rythm. Your hearting was beating so fast, Moans and whimpers filled the room and sweat started to build on your skin. Your first

high builded in your tummy and you felt that it got stronger with every move of Seonghwas tongue inside you. "D--Daddy i ́m c-cuming..." you tried to spoke but suddenly Seonghwa pulled away and you felt so empty. "Did i allow you to cum you little whore? No, Daddy said not you have the permission." You pouted and whined in response.

He picked you up and walked over to your shared bed, laying you down on it. You watch him stripping of his pants and boxers, his hard cock standing straight up. Your clit were pulsating at the sign of his big veiny member. The only though you had were his dick deep insind you making you a moaning mess. He smiked as he saw you staring at him with hungry eyes. "You little whore, do you like what you see hm? Did you miss my cock?" He teased you and crawled on the bed, laying himself over you and placing his member on your wet cunt. "Daddy please...fuck me already!" He smiled and without any warning he pushed his cock insind you, streching your thight pussy. "Fuck you feel so good princess" His head feel back as his hips began to snap into you in an animalistic pace. You started to moan, your hands on his back scratching it. His hands holds your little body. The air was steamy, the sound of skin slapping were heard in the room. Seonghwa groaned in pleasure, his dick brushing over your sweet spot again and again making you see stars. He slowed down a bit and commanded you to change the position. "Get on your knees and your ass up." You obeyed him and he was now fucking you from behind. "Ahh..Daddy faster.." you moaned. One hand was on your ass and the other hold your hair pulling your head back. "Thats right babygirl, be my little toy." He whispered into your ear. You felt a familiar feeling in your stumach. It was your high.

Seonghwas hips snapped into yours, ignoring the sounds you two makes that were be heard on the deck the ship. His high came near and you felt his dick twitching inside you. His thrusts got sloppier by each minute. "God be a good girl and come for Daddy!!" he growled and increased his pace again. Pleasure shoot through your veins and your vision got blurry as suddenly your high washed over you. "Fuuck Daddyyy..." He shot his cum inside you, covering your walls white. You screamed his name while he moaned several times.. His cum were already leaking out, dripping down on the bedsheats. He pulled out his member and watched his cum flow out of your hole. "Hm babygirl, we won ́t be wasteful right?" Suddenly he pushed his dick back in you, fucking his cum into your hole again. "I really wanna know how deep my cock is inside your little body" With this he changed the angel and a bulge started to build on you tummy. His thrusts were slow and you whimpered. "S-Sir please.." His hand made his way to your stumach, pushing an the bulge he made, feeling his cock deep inside you. "I will fuck my cum into you till a belly starts to build. You will be a good mommy." He kissed you on your forehead.

A/n: Heyy, I’m so sorry for not posting in a while. School started and it was so stressful i didn’t have any free time to write. I studied so much but now I finally got some free time. I know it’s not that much but I was very tired while writing it. I didn’t want to make you wait longer cuz I felt bad and I always stressed myself for writing again. I will try to write some little things the few days and when I have more time I will write a new fanfic.

#ateez #ateez fanfiction #ateez imagines #ateez smut #ateez x reader #fanfic #kpop #smut #writing #ateez au #seonghwa imagines #ateez pirate au #ateez scenarios #imagines #pirate au #seonghwa fanfiction #seonghwa smut

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thequeenofmyownscreen · 2 years ago

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TWENTY things I noted about CR2E92 “Home Is Where the Heart Is” and the Talks Machina about it :

look I know this is goddamn fucking long but !! have you considered !! that Miss Marisha Ray has absolutely destroyed my heart this episode !! also so much other stuff happened !!

SAM WHY. this is dis. gus. ting. I got nausea even watching it from 2 years apart.

Sam, on explaining why he was late returning to his seat after the opening : "Just brushed my teeth again." Matt : "Is that how you keep them so large ?" HOLY SHIT MATT the roast is amazing.

Jester cast Dispel Magic on Nott just to see. Travis, as Fjord (at the beginning at least) : "Do you have chills ?... .... Are they multiplyin' ? ♪ Are you looooooooosing controoool ? ♪" Matt, who hates Grease as much as me, notes something on his sheet with a grim smile.

WHAT ? THE WOMAN WHO CURSED NOTT WAS THE SAME WOMAN WHO GAVE BEAU'S FATHER A PATH TO RICHNESS ?? Matt is really out there connecting the dots, huh.

Oh no. Beau really really really does not want to talk to her dad. She said it out loud. And her whole physical behaviour is extremely reluctant.

Nott's go-to song in karaoke ? "Sweet Caroline", but in Abyssal ! THIS IS SO AWESOME let me repeat myself, I fucking love everytime the cast bursts into song, and this was no exception !!!

There's the Leaky Tap. There's the Evening Nip. And now, because they're forgetful, there's the Leaky Nip !! Poor Matt

Marisha is amazing - yes I know you know - but the way she portrays Beau's fear and trauma about returning to a father that was never proud and always wanted her to change ! What an extraordinary scene with an extraordinary actor.

Matt's face, upon realizing that Jester has the handwriting of the Gentlemen and can now "Parent Trap" her mother and father if she wants to (she wants to), is everything.

Oh, how I missed a classic Jester and Nott mess-around (yes, I am referencing this brillant Tv show that was New Girl). Pure chaos !!

IT'S THE RETURN OF THE SYPHILIS BANDITS !!!!!

Meanwhile, Beau and Yasha are just drinking and watching all of this unroll from the hill, like the greatest tv show they've ever watched.

The long-awaited conversation between Yasha and Caleb delivered its promises. "Do you love her ?" "Who ?" "I don't need to tell you who" OH MY GOD !!!!! I don't for sure know who they're talking about. Either way, either Nott or Jester, it's a tragedy.

I love that Marisha plays Beau so well, and Matt knows her character and just her so well, that yes, the DM can absolutely say that the character is "acting a little bit like you first met her" without it being a stretch or not true. Because it is true, it is the vibe. Poor Beau. At this point I felt like the end of the episode was gonna wreck me, and I was right.

No words. Just eternal admiration for Marisha Ray. One hour of extremely tense familial conversation with an asshole father, taht was either abusive or "just" neglectful or both...

Love that on the way out, to support Beau and fuck with her shitty dad on the way out, Nott steals just anything she sees and Yasha threatens her dad and imply the loss of riches could help him remember what's important.

Matt, to Marisha : "It's so weird playing your asshole dad. It's a very strange disassociation exercise !" Liam : "I hope so." LIAM !!!!!

Marisha and Laura together on the couch is such a good combo. They understand each other so much.

I've said it before, but Talks like this, after emotionnal RP episodes like this one, is SO GREAT. Sure, they answer questions, but it's a little less for the audience than to process what happened.

Laura thinks Vex and Beau has common points "daddy issues and little siblings !" and thinks they would get along well together, and Marisha just adds that they would be like "the two head cheerleaders, that are best friends, but also..." and THE REST IS SILENCE while she gives her this look !!

i'm losing my mind. Dani and I went to the same place in 2 seconds.

#my thoughts #critical role #cr campaign 2 #CR2E92

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sufandomgirl · 2 years ago

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Amphibia Soulmate AU Fanfiction 1 Part 4

Many Years Later...

{The young toads ran around. It would be a little while before they would return to Newtopia, their parents, uncle and best friend. They were down about it, but they were always taught that sometimes life brought new adventures, so they really tried. Maybe they would have new stories for Belle when they came back. One suddenly collided with someone, causing them to drop what they were carrying. Upon closer inspection, it was a female magenta frog about their age with freckles and ginger hair.}

Frog: Mmph!

{One of the siblings offered a hand down to her after she sat up while the other got her basket and put the strewn about items back in it. She accepted their help and nodded.}

Frog: Thank you! My name is Oak.

{They introduced themselves as Alex and Hammer.}

Oak: So, are you two new around these parts?

Alex: Yeah, just here with family waiting for our parents to come pick us up.

Hammer: They travel for work.

Oak: Well, you two seem nice.

Alex: So do you.

{Oak showed them around town and introduced them to her family. Her mother looked familiar to them, they just couldn't remember where.}

Meanwhile, at the Castle...

Barrel: Why haven't they been transported here yet?!

Newt: Apologies, General Barrel, we're still attempting to connect with their governor. The recent mail bandit situation has prevented them from sending word and likely forced them to stop somewhere temporarily.

Branson: Well find them!

Newt: (nods and bows to both; leaves)

Barrel: (sighs)

Branson: (pats his shoulder)

Andrias: I'm sure that they're okay. You taught them many survival skills.

Barrel: I know. It's just...they're our kids.

Andrias: I know.

Belle: (looks up at Andrias) When are Alex and Hammer coming back, Daddy?

Andrias: Hopefully soon, dear.

A Few Weeks Later...Wartwood...

{Alex, Hammer and Oak have become very close. Alex had finally remembered where she'd seen Oak's mother before. She was the young pink frog next to her father and Uncle Andrias in the portrait hung on one of the castle walls. Leif. She'd started thinking that there was a connection when Oak said that her last name was Plantar. How incredibly lucky and coincidental that they were now friends, just as their parents had been many years ago. He'd inquired about this to Leif. She smiled.}

Leif: Fond memories.

Alex: They miss you. They wonder where you went.

Leif: I miss them, too. If you can believe it, His Majesty Aldrich, your uncle's father, was the one who told me never to come back or contact either of them.

Alex: (shares glance with her brother)

Oak: What?

Hammer: King Aldrich's been dead since before Dad and Branson adopted us three years ago. Uncle Andrias was coronated shortly after his death.

Leif: Well, Wartwood is out in the boonies. If I knew that, I would've gone back years ago and not missed your uncle's coronation or Barrel adopting you.

Alex: (smiles at her) We know.

Oak: Gone back like moved back? How would Dad have felt about that?

Leif: It wouldn't have mattered, Oak. Your dad and I were getting divorced then, anyways. I would've fought for custody and taken all four of you with me. I miss working and living in Newtopia almost as much as I miss Andrias and Barrel.

{Oak nodded. She was sure that even Alex and Hammer had noticed that she and her siblings were outcasts in Wartwood like their mother. There was nothing for them here. Leif had learned the terrible truth that the governor in charge of caring for the two of them was a traitor and took them into her home without question. Well, hers only for a little while longer, but she wouldn't worry the children with that. The governor had been eaten by a predator during their confrontation.}

Leif: I'm coming up with ways to get all of us to Newtopia. Why don't you kids go outside while I think of something?

{They obeyed her. As soon as they were gone, Leif pinched the bridge of her nose and grunted. So far, she'd thought of nothing.}

Days Later...Newtopia...

Messenger: (bows to them) Your Majesty, Your Highness, General Barrel and Delegate Branson. (stands) I have news of the children.

Barrel: Finally, where are they?

Messenger: They're safe in a small farming village called Wartwood. Their governor was revealed to be a traitor.

Branson: What?! Then what's become of the kids?!

Messenger: Luckily, before this was known, your children befriended one of the young village frogs and her mother agreed to care for them until adequate and safe transport arrived. She stated that she would prefer that the parents come rather than entrust them to another stranger.

Barrel: (sighs in relief) Wait, we don't know her, do we?

Branson: I hope that they are safe.

Messenger: (holds up SD card) Would you?

{It was from the camera that followed the kids. Barrel took it and the messenger left. After the feed, they all are stunned.}

Andrias: So, all this time, it was my father keeping her away.

Barrel: She didn't even hear about your coronation. She would've been there if she had. The kids are in the safest place that they could be other than the palace.

Branson: (exhales, deeply)

Andrias: We need to arrange transport for all seven of them, directly to the castle immediately.

Both: (nod in agreement)

#amphibia barrel #amphibia leif #amphibia andrias #amphibia

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animation-recaps-by-sean · 7 years ago

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Adventure Time Blenanas to Gumbaldia Recap

In the penultimate group of episodes, Finn goes looking for Jake, Betty quest begins again, and Bubblegum prepares for war. Spoilers below.

This were some great episodes. While Jake is away, Finn does a caption the pic in a magazine. When BMO doesn’t find it funny, Finn teams with Ice King to get it published, but the magazine has been out of print for 500 years. Way to check the print date Finn. He and Ice King print their own magazine and Finn says he just wanted it published and does care what people care. I think this might be a response to criticisms about some of the more disliked episodes. I really hope the stick the landing. 3/4

Meanwhile meets his Dad and it’s just Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2. Look I’m sure this was super original back when season six aired when Jake’s space Dad first popped up but they took too long to fire that Chekhov’s gun. It was nice to see Jake get a victory, even though Jake bio dad who they been hinted at three seasons ago was a one off villian. Also more daddy issue stuff, christ someone on Adventure Time has some issues with their father. 2/4

Back on Earth, Jermane becomes concerned with Jake missing. Finn takes him to Mars to seek help to find Jake. When they get there they find Normal Man, who now King Man. And Betty, who is learning to control her magic induced madness by filling a pit with sand, one grain at a time. King Man send Finn, Jermane, and Betty in a cave that shows abstract images that are meant to help Betty get over Simon. It also summons Jake from space somehow. King Man asks Betty if she ready to move on from Simon. She tells him no, watching Finn’s determine to save Jake only strengthened her resolve. I hope things work out with her. Judging from the giant Ice King head from the last Graybles episode properly not. 2 ½ /4

Finn tries to make peace between Bubblegum and Gumbald. It doesn’t work. Gumbald pretends to agree, but dumbs dum dum juice on Finn and Jake, so that when Princess Bubblegum goes to hug them for a job well done, they would turn PB. But the other PB got wet first, turning him into a lil baby butler. PB declares all out war. Judging by the fact the Candy people where some weird crono sleep in the last Graybles episode properly not. Gumbald meanwhile gathers a team of old Adventure Time villains. Old may stay Ricardio, Sir Slicer, the jerk knight who teased Finn about armor, Scorcher, the hitman Ice King hired once, Me-Mow, that fan character who wanted to kill Jake, Pete Sassafras, the creepy guy Finn and Jake thought freaked out LSP, Ash, Marceline's ex boyfriend, Samantha the Warrior Dog, the other person Kee-Oth (Joshua’s arch nemesis) imprisoned, Peace Master, the guy whose kids Peppermint Butler mutated, and Bandit Princess, the lady who broke Finn sword. Ice King and Gunther where also roped in.

Maja is messing, guess she’s still in that magic coma. Orgalog is represented with Gunther, hope he’s true identity comes into play. Patience St. Pim is also missing, must still be frozen. Didn’t amount to much did she? Gross is also absent, properly died in that explosion. Shame that Susan or Finn couldn’t confront her after they learned of her past.

The stage is set, will Betty’s plan backfire horribly? Will Susan Strong make a return? Will Martin? Will the Linch? Will the orb thing have any pay off? Only one way to find out. 3 ½ /4

#adventure time #adventure time spoilers #adventure time review #Cartoon network #animation recaps by sean

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ghostsandskulls68 · 7 years ago

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The Adventures of Red & Jesse- Ch. 9

A\N: Hello everyone! This chapter is a long one so I’ll put what I can here but I’ll place the link to this chapter on AO3 right here and again the end. I hope you guys enjoy!

Characters: Red (MOC), Lolita (FOC), Louis (MOC), Dwight, Abraham, Eugene, Negan (mention)

Summary: Red and Louis have a few drinks after their fight. Afterwards, Red overhears some men doubting him and reflects on a time when Eugene doubted him.

A New Beginning- Chapter 9: Watch Your Back

-Red, Lolita, and Louis exit the sparing ring as the other Saviors leave, shaking each other’s hands. Red and Louis’ faces are starting to bruise where they hit each other. Red turns to them as he begins to walk toward his room.-

Red: This was awesome. (Grins) I’ll see y’all in the morning.

-As he turns to leave, Louis stops him.-

Louis: Whoa! Where are you goin’?!

Red: Back to my room.

Louis: Nah. Come hang with us for a while! I got whiskey.

Red: (raises an eyebrow) Whiskey? Well I haven’t had a drink in god knows how long...

Louis: Alright then! Let’s go!

-The three walk back to Louis and Lolita’s quarters. Lolita opens the door and Red looks around. Red looks at the shelves. There’s a black and sliver turntable and several vinyl records. Some jazz, some punk, and some heavy metal bands. Red smiles as he too enjoyed those styles. Lolita walks to a small common area with two chairs and a small couch as Louis walks to a cabinet and grabs three glasses. Lolita sits on the first chair and looks to Red.-

Lolita: Sit down! Don’t be shy.

-Red sits on the couch. Lolita smiles as Louis walks to them and sets the glasses down. He then sets a bottle of Jim Bean on the table and pours them each a shot.-

Lolita: Oh Lou! You know I hate whiskey!

Louis: Only because you can’t handle it!

Lolita: (gasps) You jerk! (Punches his arm)

-Red and Louis laugh as they each grab their glasses and hold them up.-

Louis: To outlaws and bandits.

Red & Lolita: Cheers!

-They then drink the whiskey quickly. Red coughs.-

Red: (coughs) Captain Christ!! (Coughs) Shit’s strong!

Louis: (drinks) Ah! Been savin’ it for a while. Want another?

Red: (shrugs) Alright! Why not?

Louis: (Points at Red and looks at Lolita) I like this guy!

-He pours them each another round of shots and they drink. They sit amongst each other laughing and drinking. Red takes another drink as Louis looks at Lolita then back to Red.-

Louis: Alright. I have to ask...what’s with you and Negan?

-Red chokes and spits his drink out, then turns to Louis.-

Red: What??

Lolita: Lou!

Louis: What?! I just asked a question! When we got here we went through a weird initiation trial. He just puts down walkers and gets buddy-buddy with him, I’m just curious.

Lolita: You know he does what he wants. Some of us he’s harder on than others. Despite the ease of his initiation, he’s done the hardest stuff.

Red: Negan is just...Negan...heh.

Lolita: (scoffs) I’ll agree with that. (Pours herself another drink) He does what he wants, when he wants and he treats people that way too.

Louis: Doesn’t really answer the question but I’ll take it. (Looks to the turntable) How bout some tunes?

-He gets up and walks to the turntable and records. He takes a “Misfits- Walk Among Us” record and plays it. Red’s eyes perk as he recognizes the song.-

Red: I love The Misfits.

Louis: (turns back) You do?! (Glares and lifts his head) What song is this?!

Red: “20 Eyes.” Duh.

Louis: What’s your favorite off this album?

Red: Trick question. This whole album is great but if I had to pick, I’d say “Astro Zombies.”

Louis: (grins and nods) You’re alright kid...

-Red smiles and turns back to Lolita who shakes her head at them.-

Lolita: Morons. The both of you!

Red: What’d I do?! (Laughs)

-Red leans back as the door opens and a little girl walks in. She runs to Louis who was still by the turntable shelf.-

Girl: Daddy!

Louis: Diamond! (Kisses her cheek) How was your lesson?

-Louis hugs the girl and they begin to talk as Red looks to Lolita.-

Red: (whispers) Who’s the girl?

Lolita: Oh...that’s Diamond. She’s Lou’s daughter. While we work, one of the ladies here looks after her and tutors her. She’s a bright little girl.

Red: I see.

-Louis returns and sits in his chair as Diamond walks in and looks at Red then back to Louis.-

Diamond: Who’s this?

Lolita: Sweetie, this is Mr. Red. He’s a friend of ours from the docks.

Diamond: (stares at Red) If his name’s “Red” why is his hair black?

-Louis and Lolita burst into laughter. Red blushes and looks at Diamond.-

Red: Ummm...well I’m not Red at the moment because I don’t have any hair dye.

Diamond: Ohhh...so it’s fake!

Lolita: She’s got your number, Red.

Louis: (clears his throat) Diamond, come sit with me for a moment.

-Diamond goes and sits on the chair with Louis. The three take one more drink. Afterwards, Red stands up.-

Red: Ahem...well...I better be getting back now.

Lolita: So soon?

Red: Heh. You guys are awesome. I’ll see y’all in the morning. I promise (grins)

Louis: (Puts Diamond down walks to Red) You son of a bitch! (Glares then laughs) Good fight my friend. I’ll see ya tomorrow!

-They shake hands then Red hugs Lolita and Diamond. He turns back to them.-

Red: I’ll see y’all later.

-They wave and Red closes the door. He begins to walks back toward his room. As he walks by a room, he hears faint talking. He peers in and sees three Saviors from the sparing ring talking.-

Savior #1: ...And he’s back boxing everyone again. It was good time! I won a few points bettin’ with Matt!

Savior #2: That’s why he can’t even keep damn points, because he’s fuckin’ bettin’ on the boxing fights! That’s why him and his little posse are still down there pinning those dead things in the field!

Savior #1: And us? We ain’t exactly living in luxury. Back to that Red kid, maybe we should ally with him. Maybe he can put in a good word for us!

Savior #3: I mean I’ve never met the guy… But I don’t understand why Negan is so obsessed with him! He’s only been here a couple weeks and he’s already living in his own room, while we’re still down in the barracks. And for what? Because some kid managed to escape death on his own with parlor tricks and can take a punch.

Savior #2: Well Matt was saying he saw him earlier, working with the scavenger siblings, Louis and Lolita.

Savior #1: Oh yeah! He fought Red in the ring today. They knocked each other out! It was cool.

-Suddenly a voice speaks.-

Man: The two morons sparred each other huh? I’d have liked to have seen them kill each other.

-Red recognizes the voice as Dwight. He emerges from the shadows.-

Dwight: So he’s working with those two looters now? Hmph. Well trash does attract more trash. He’s only working with those filthy scavengers because they’re DIY guys. They work when and where they want and quit when they want to. Half the time they bring back junk. Nothing valuable.

Savior #3: They probably keep it hidden. At least that’s what Matt says. He watches their trucks.

Dwight: (scoffs) Matt?! He’s worse than those three. His little crew too. They’re too damn lazy to do what they’re supposed to, so they’re doing all the grunt work. (Lights a cigarette) But mark my words, one of them is gonna bite the dust...and personally, I hope it’s Lou. He’s mouthy, cocky, and reckless...not at all like his sister.

-Red glares at Dwight and clenches his fist. Meanwhile, the other men speak up.-

Savior #2: Mmm little Lolita...she’s gorgeous. Her eyes are like hazel gems.

Savior #3: And her hair...damn. She’s got a nice little body on her too!

Savior #1: Hey, I heard she turned down Negan’s proposal!

Savior #2: What??

Dwight: Oh she did. I was there. He was disappointed she said no.

Savior #3: Those ladies have it really easy. Never have to do much of anything. She’d have it all! But she chose to stay working for points with her brother.

Dwight: It’s a damn shame. (Takes a drag) But like I said...trash attracts trash. She’s alright, Lou’s pathetic, and Red is the same. Just a loser who got lucky.

Savior #1: Don’t be salty because he gave you a black eye for a week! How’s your sight by the way?

-All the men laugh as Dwight finishes his cigarette. He flips them off and walks to the door. Red walks and hides down a nearby corridor.-

Dwight: Fuck you guys. I gotta get back. I’ll see ya!

Savior #2: Later D!

-Dwight walks out of the room and down the hall. After he disappears Red continues his walk back to his room. He opens the door and walks to his bed. He kicks his shoes off and lays down, staring once more at the ceiling.-

Red: (Thinking) I didn’t expect everyone to like me...I’m just trying to survive like everyone else here.

[This is the end for now. You can read the rest of the chapter right here. Thank you!]

@i-am-negan-trash @jessegoesrawr1000times @eugenessix @the-negan-fic-club @jdm-imagines @negans-network @neganismyobsession

#ao3fic #twd fanfiction #red oc #slow burn #twd dwight #negan fanfiction #abraham ford #eugene porter

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countessofsnark · 7 years ago

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Snarky Recap - Thunderbirds: ‘Brink of Disaster’

The One Where Neither Reckless Speed Nor Petty Crime Pay Off.

This opens with a shot of Parker having an h’off duty moment. And what would an off duty moment be without some beer and a cigar, eh? (PSA: smoking is bad for you, please consider stopping or simply not starting this nasty habit)

Unfortunately for Parker, a car pulling up near the house means his little moment of me time is over. Indeed, ‘a butler’s work is never done.’ I must go, my people need me.

Now excuse me Mr Fancy Pants, you’ll have to wait for her Ladyship, because she appears to be fashionably late.

Mr Grafton: ‘From what I’ve heard she’s certainly ah worth waiting for.’

EXCUSE YOU, SIR. We don’t talk about her Ladyship that way. And certainly not in this ‘ouse. And kindly keep your hands and other appendages where they belong.

Switching to Penelope driving FAB 1 in a fabulous outfit that would definitely look great on her TAG counterpart too. So badass I can’t even.

There’s staying calm in a stressful situation and then there’s Penelope Creighton-Ward calm while being shot at during a car chase.

Taking out the trash, Penny style.

Back at the Creighton-Ward mansion, Mr Grafton goes from creep to overdressed burglar in 0.5 seconds. See, I knew there was something fishy about this man.

Oh he’s a businessman now is he? And a monorail, you say? Requiring money to get the project off the ground, no pun intended? And just as the conversation turns to a suspicious breakdown of Penelope’s financial means, Parker walks in carrying tea and a message for her Ladyship.

IT’S A TRAP!

Penny is smart enough to know that this Grafton fella can’t be trusted so she sidetracks the conversation to setting up a meet up with a wealthy friend of hers who happens to be very interested in projects of the technological kind.

Meet your new sugar daddy, Mr Grafton.

Fast forward to a New York boardroom, where Grafton and his Pacific Atlantic Monorail Corporation buddies are having a Investment Dick Measuring contest.

A little while later, Grafton is being roasted by his guests aboard the mono train. What about safety measures? Oh not to worry, we’ve got heli-jets on constant patrol.

Jeff: ‘Unless something went wrong with the heli-jet.’ THIS, BASICALLY.

Well don’t you hate it when Murphy’s Law has a field day?

Grafton: ‘So you see, Tracy, in the standard coaches we can pack in 500 people.’

Jeff: ‘Pack in is right.’

Your marketing spiel sure could use some polishing up, Mr Grafton.

Grafton then proceeds to show his distinguished guests the power unit. ‘The greatest junk of engineering genius in land travel history.’

Jeff: ‘Well it’s big enough anyway.’

It’s not size it’s what you do with... ah never mind.

Back at the bridge, Joe and Stan are doing a whole lot of talking back and forth until one of them finally decides to radio the mono train.

Jeff has already figured out that Grafton is way more interested in money than he is in passenger safety.

‘His type usually end up in one place: jail.’

And that’s exactly where our Bonny and Clyde are going if they think they can steal from Lady P and get away with it.

��Grafton fixed the alarms. All we gotta do is press a button and we’re ok.’ Right, and Rome was built in one day.

A butler’s work is never done. Except when he’s snoring like an intoxicated elephant.

Grafton heads back to his guests to tell them they’re heading for trouble - ‘and I mean trouble!’ Well, good thing you’ve got heli-jets on standby, don’t you? Oh, wait. OOPS.

Jeff is doing a fabulous job staying calm and composed while the monorail is speeding up and out of control.

Grafton, when asked how long it’ll take until they reach the damaged part of the track: ‘I’m not sure. Fifteen minutes, maybe twenty maybe more... I don’t know!’

Jeff: ‘Thanks. You’re a great help.’

Not sure if sarcasm or reassuring or both. *squint*

Back at the mansion, our burglar buddies did manage to sneak inside undetected. For now...

The damaged part of the bridge is STILL exploding. Like, seriously, was this episode co-produced by Michael Bay? *more squinting*

Jeff has worked out a plan to secretly contact the boys. Until then, Obi-Brains, you are our only hope.

Leave it to John to awkwardly intercept the call.

Jeff: ‘Make it snappy, we’re running out of time.’ YOU BETTER HURRY UP, MY WOEFULLY UNDERAPPRECIATED SON.

A few moments later, on Tracy Island, John transfers the message to the boys.

Scott: WHAT THE FUCK.

Virgil: ‘We’ll never get there in time!’ No, not in your slow ass bird you won’t.

Scott: ‘Well we can’t just sit here.’

Virgil: (suddenly forgetting all about the dramatic remark he made seconds ago) ‘Right. Come on!’

Our bandit buddies manage to open the jewel vault but unfortunately for them, this also sets off an alarm that wakes up both Penny and Parker

Penelope: ‘Parker? Are you awake? It appears we have visitors.’

Ah yes. ‘Visitors.’

‘Parker, they’re going to take my jewels.’

‘That would seem to be the intention, m’lady.’ Such sharp observational skills, Parker.

Our jolly bandits think they can get away with their loot. But just as they’re about to take off in their getaway car...

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals. And a happy New Year.

Shooting the tyres doesn’t stop these guys though. They make the horrible mistake of trying to steal FAB 1 next. Penny activates the remote control and has the car spinning circles around the driveway fountain. Case closed. LOL.

You spin me round baby right round like a record baby right round.

Joe and Stan continue to provide ‘useful’ commentary regarding the bridge situation without actually doing anything about it. Good job, Captains Obvious and Obviouser.

Brains’ plan seems to be working but the train is still speeding along the track.

Grafton: WE’RE STILL GOING TOO FAST OH GOD OH GOD WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE.

Jeff: OH SHUT UP.

Attaboy, Jeff.

Tin Tin, meanwhile, is seeking comfort in Daddy Jeff’s arms. Well well well, guess she likes her men the way some people like wine: vintage and full bodied. If Alan were here he would probably spontaneously combust.

‘They’re going too fast!’

YOU DON’T SAY.

But just as the train reaches the end of the line, it slows down enough to execute a full stop. SUCCESS!

Jeff: ‘Easy now, Tin Tin. It’s all over now.’

Yes, my dear girl. We all act on our deepest desires when we think the end is near. Don’t worry, Alan need not hear a word of this. Unless you want to break his poor fragile heart. *grins*

And that’s when Appreciated Son Number One arrives at the danger zone, while Appreciated Son Number Two is still six minutes away. Good job, boys. You didn’t exactly sit around but you didn’t exactly contribute to the happy ending of this situation either.

Scott: ‘International Rescue here. You guys are still in danger. The tower behind you is gonna collapse any moment.’

Well good thing you fellas are here then, eh. Bring on Thunderbird 2 for some heavy lifting.

Grafton: ‘Say, what goes on? Are they trying to murder us or something?’

No, you dick. It’s called rescuing people from a nasty situation that was created by idiots like yourself.

Scott and Virgil safely deposit the section containing Jeff, Tin Tin, Brains, and Grafton and then fly off, heading back to Tracy Island.

Tin Tin is still shook af and Jeff is trying to *cough* comfort her *cough*. Oh boy if only Alan were here to see this.

Jeff warns Grafton that his next holiday will be spent behind bars. Grafton is not impressed.

Cut to Grafton and buddies in jail. Nice outfit, lads. Keep on dreaming, that’s the spirit. LOL.

Ahhh this was such a little gem. Thank you for the request, @undercoverchikin and @madilayn

#snarky recap #thunderbirds #request #brink of disaster

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imagineclaireandjamie · 7 years ago

Note

After this last episode with the making the 'batsuit' scene you should totally do a story about the first time Claire made some sort of costume for Bree

For the first time in my life, I cursed my juvenile disinterest in sewing. As a child, I’d mended clothes out of sheer necessity, the rigor of constant travel taking its toll on my shirts and trousers. I had cared little for skill back then, regarding the whole affair as a tedious chore that kept me from more important duties—namely, dusting off bones for Lamb.

As an adult, I was a surgeon, but even that seemed to do me no favors. Despite my professional expertise—how many wounds had I stitched with far sharper tools on far more delicate materials? —it seemed I still couldn’t manage a bloody Halloween costume. In previous years, I’d simply bought one or asked Millie, our neighbor, for a helping hand at the cost of a bottle of wine.

My break from tradition was inspired by a recent conversation, whereupon it was revealed—to the horror of several Betty Crocker types—I had no plans to slave over a Singer for the sake of my daughter’s trick-or-treating.

“Oh, but you must,�� one woman had said.

“Your child would so appreciate it,” another had chimed in.

“She’ll be the only one whose mother didn’t make her costume.”

I’d rather thought Bree wouldn’t notice either way, she being the sort who’d drape a sheet over her head, stare through two circular cut-outs, and cry “Boo!” as if she were the most convincing ghost in the world. But the women’s scornful expressions had stayed with me, stirring up feelings I hadn’t felt since I’d arrived in America: a nagging self-consciousness; a desperate need to prove myself.

Bree was ecstatic when I informed her that I, not Millie, would be making her costume this Halloween, and what was it she’d like to be? Frank’s incessant prattling about the monarchy had clearly made an impression. Of all things, Bree had chosen Queen Elizabeth II, who’d been crowned the year before.

If I’d known how complicated it would be, I might have scrapped the project altogether and thrust expensive merlot in Millie’s face. Being without such hindsight, I now had a half-constructed dress that looked more like a war casualty than a royal ballgown.

“You sodding bastard,” I barked at the sewing machine.

My daughter, sitting not five feet away, looked up from her book with a delighted smirk. I groaned, already envisioning the moment Frank would walk through the door, greeted by an oral report of the day’s linguistic infractions (most of them mine). Though Bree shared her biological father’s penchant for mischief, she’d adopted the English reserve of the man who raised her. With frequent lapses, of course—she, after all, was my child too.

“Mama,” she tsked now, “you know what that means…” Smiling, she pointed towards the table beneath the window, which sat littered with the odds and ends of our daily life. The dried stems of pressed flowers sprouted from a medical textbook. A dog toy, practically chewed into oblivion, sat beside Frank’s corn cob pipe—a habit he’d taken up as a way of ingratiating himself to Harvard’s social circles. At the center of it all, however, stood the glass jar whose cheery label, “SWEAR BANK,” had become the bane of my existence.

Two weeks ago, Frank and I had been called to Bree’s school on the grounds of discussing a recent misbehavior. Our daughter, it seemed, had a fondness for words that were unsuitable to a woman of 35, much less a girl of 6. The principal’s meaningful looks had plainly indicated he knew where—or from whom—Brianna had received her vocabulary lessons.

“Children, you know,” he’d said, leaning forwards. “They don’t just learn these things by themselves. I think some disciplinary action could be taken at home…”

And so it was by Principal Gellar’s suggestion that we—the Randalls of ill repute—came to use a swear jar. For every curse, the delinquent had to add two quarters, with each subsequent offense requiring double that amount. A mild punishment, I’d thought, until it was obvious that losing pocket change wasn’t sufficient inducement to watch my own mouth.

Because of this, it was agreed that I prepare a proper dinner—from scratch, not frozen—if I exceeded my daily max of five swear words. Frank promised to exchange his loose leaf tea for Lipton’s, should he do the same, though this was more a demonstration of his superiority than his solidarity. Unless provoked, he rarely said more than the occasional “damn” in Bree’s presence.

Rummaging through the purse at my feet, I extracted money from my wallet.

“There,” I said, giving it to Bree. “Happy?”

Bills in one hand, Bree counted her fingers on the other, “That’s six today, Mama,” she said, still smirking. “So what’s for dinner?”

I snorted and motioned her towards me. “Well, if you want this costume finished, I’ll have to take a rain check.” I looked at the chaos strewn about my work table. “A two-week rain check.”

“I guess that’s okay,” Bree said, skipping over to my side. “Daddy and I will have meatloaf tonight, and you can have soap.”

I laughed. It always baffled me how my child—once a gurgling thing with an untamable cowlick—had transformed into a human capable of swear words and jokes.

As they always did when Bree came close, one of her hands automatically rested on my head, tiny fingers submerging themselves in a tousle of curls. They found the tender patch behind my ears, beginning an idle massage that expelled all tension from my body.

She’d done this as a baby—then, with a naïve curiosity; now, by the simple force of habit. It reminded me of someone else, though I knew it was merely coincidence and not some genetic trait passed down through the centuries. Still, the small fingers always grew larger in my mind—pads turned to callous and nails made blunt—as they moved in slow, gentle circles towards my temples. I could hear Gaelic, spoken softly, and see a calmness wash over a startled horse, as it now washed over me.

I shook the memory away, and returned to the disaster cascading into my lap.

Really, there was no hope for it. Uneven hems. Too-large and crooked stitches. The circumference of one shirtsleeve would fit someone’s thigh, not Bree’s skinny arm.

“Smudge,” I sighed, “perhaps this wasn’t a good idea. I mean—” I gestured at the clumsy mess before me, and Bree removed her hand.

She leaned closer, head tilted to examine the work I’d done until her expression turned into one of obvious resolve. “I could always be a hobo,” she said matter-of-factly. “Or a garbage man.”

In that moment, I swear I had never loved her more.

Clearly unconcerned, Bree flopped down on the couch, and asked, “What’d you dress up as when you were a kid, Mama?”

“Come to think of it, I can only remember one Halloween,” I said, sitting back. “I was a little older than you, and my outfit was a hodge-podge of things. Somewhere between Indiana Jones and a girl who raided a closet, blindfolded.”

As a vagabond who drifted from continent and continent, Halloween never seemed to cross Lamb’s mind. A brief lecture, perhaps, about its pagan origins—but there was none of the pomp and circumstance one would see today. Being only vaguely aware of the holiday’s existence myself, I had never found us lacking for it. Our days were already filled with adventures, strange characters, and the spirits of years past.

It was one of Lamb’s colleagues—a charismatic American named Tom—who put forth the notion we hold a celebration of our own. Even I, who by this time was more adult than child, couldn’t resist the idea of being someone else, swapping ghost stories under a full moon, and gorging myself on sweets.

Lamb, bless his soul, was more than happy to oblige me. It was a belated birthday present of sorts, as October 20th, 1926 had passed in whirlwind of sand and dirt. The more immediate concerns of suffocation and hazardous winds had taken precedence over cake and candles that day.

Lamb and Tom took me to the market one morning, each of us bouncing from stall to stall to inspect the wares. After hours of browsing, we’d managed to scrape together a rudimentary costume, though it had none of the frills, silks, or skirts Tom had assumed I’d want.

“Are you sure you don’t want to be a princess?” he’d said, regarding me sideways. At the insistent (and fiftieth) shake of my head, Lamb had clapped Tom on the back with a jovial smile, reminding him that I was a girl who preferred slouch hats to tiaras. I recall grinning up at him, then, and taking his hand as we walked back to camp. In truth, I think I’d just wanted to be Lamb for a night.

And so there I was days later: a poor man’s cowgirl astride an invisible horse, galloping through the nearby village in search of treats. Naturally, few people were prepared for the presence of my wild-eyed, boyish self at their door. But most smiled at my requests—all spoken with a pitiful Southern twang—and indulged me with whatever they could spare. Lamb, meanwhile, stood at my side—an elderly pirate-guard who assured them we were not, in fact, bandits.

We returned to camp at sundown with a sack full of furry, odorous, and glittering miscellany slung across my shoulder. Against all sense, someone had given me a pack of cigars, and I placed one between my lips. Knees braced and arranging my hands into a finger gun, I did my best Butch Cassidy impression as Lamb inspected the bag for other inappropriate goods.

“That stuff ain’t yours, old man,” I’d said, words mumbled by the cigar. “Stick ‘em up.”

Lamb had hooted, crying, “Excellent, my dear! Just marvelous!” and took a seat across the fire. His head bent before a lit match, the flame lighting the end of one of the contraband cigars.

What I remember most, though, was his face when he looked up at me. My cheeks were flushed beneath a layer of grime. My too-long pants were pooled around my feet, while my dark hair was pulled into a bushy ponytail. I imagine I’d been the image of freedom and recklessness—a person who appreciated the simplest of joys, like dress-up and too much sugar.

“You’ve always favored your mother, Claire. But I daresay that right now…” And here, Lamb’s eyes had shimmered, his expression grown suddenly soft. “Right now I see so much of your father in you.”

“Mama?” A voice broke through the haze of my memory. “Mama, were you listening to me?”

“Hmm?” I said distractedly, slowly returning to the present. Shaking her head, Bree said, “Maybe next year I could be a cowgirl too?” before launching onto an entirely different topic.

Seeing my daughter chatting confidently away, her hands fluttering with the excitement of conversation, of being with someone…Seeing her hair catch the sinking sun and the mischief inside her curving mouth—a mouth that would never cease to amaze me with its jokes and its compliments and its observations. Seeing these things, and how her slanted blue eyes took in her shabby costume—unbothered by its inelegance but appreciative of the work I’d put into it—I thought I saw so much of her father in her too.

#flightsnitch96 #;mod liv #featuring: bree #i vomited on the page and this was the result

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oosteven-universe · 5 years ago

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Ascender #2

Ascender #2 Image Comics 2019 Written by Jeff Lemire Illustrated by Dustin Nguyen Lettered & Designed by Steve Wands “THE HAUNTED GALAXY,” Part Two (of Five) Mila reunites her dad Andy with his old robot pal, Bandit, but their heartwarming reunion doesn’t last for long. It’s forbidden to have robot tech, and soon they’re on the run from a troll militia with a vampire commander. Meanwhile, the vamp witch Mother moves to consolidate power on Gnish. Sometimes I am just in awe of what can be done in comics today. While the opening here is cute and poignant it’s really seeing the Planet Gnish that makes everything worthwhile. Mother of All has come to see the King and well let’s just say god forbid you cross this mean old bitch. Between the characterisation, the story & plot development and the visuals this whole little section of the story is one of that captivates, mesmerises and holds the reader in awe. It really is just that good, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it or get it out of my head since I read it three days ago! I really am enjoying the way that this is being told and how the book is structured. There is this great flow to the way we get information revealed to us and how the pacing of the story makes the transitions between the different people and places blend together so nicely. With the way that the story & plot development ties into the characterisation is something I love seeing from Jeff. For instance Mila’s conversation with her dad while cleaning up Bandit is so real and it’s something none of us realise is taken for granted. I mean without having gone through something no one can understand what you are trying to convey. There is a lot going on here and it’s all fascinating to watch unfold. Mila is innocent in pretty much every way you can possibly imagine. So what is this going to do to her as the series moves forward is anyone’s guess but with everything we experience here I cannot wait to find out. Jeff’s writing is so phenomenal and when he’s doing a passion project such as this you can tell the difference in how we as readers’ pick the intensity of the story. Mother and her minions are just about the creepiest things we are going to see and it’s freaking amazing. Dustin has continually grown and matured as an artist. The sheer ability to bring his imagination to life with so much detail and presence about the characters is something special. These people, the species we aren’t familiar with and the wonders of these worlds come to life enhancing the story and filling the reader with a kind of awe. That thing for instance yeah that’s terrifying then seeing the dad grabbing a gun down on one knee, that made me audibly say ooh. He turned him into a “Daddy” and he’s hot from face to boots! The utilisation of the page layouts and how we see the angles and perspective in the panels show off as masters eye for storytelling. The way backgrounds are utilised is pretty sparse and I'd love to see more but then again the strength of the linework in how faces and facial expressions are done I'm okay with it. The colour work is gorgeous the watercolour wash effect and the blocking and gradation that we see is impeccable. Good Golly Miss Molly it should come as no surprise to anyone just how good this is as it’s a sequel to their Descender series but I am not sure we were fully prepared for just how damn awesome it was going to be. The strength in this story and how these guys work together and the relationship they’ve formed make this one of those rare extremely sought after books that we all can’t get enough of.

#comic books #comics reviews #image comics #jeff lemire #dustin nguyen

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pineapplesareunderrated · 8 years ago

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Choke on it

Waw. I have been here for more than half a year and haven’t posted a single thing ? Well, let me fix that. Here is my fanfiction .Its already on Archive but I wanted to put something here as well. ₍₍ ◝(●˙꒳˙●)◜ ₎₎ Gonna put first three chapteres into one cuz why not ?

Summary

Rhys was supposed to go to college, get his diploma and follow in his father foot steps into becoming a famous technical developer. That all changed when his mother died and Rhys's father decided for him to become a Vault Hunter and clear the universe from all those nasty bandits. The story is about Rhys who is the Vault Hunter in Borderlands 2, but he hates ALL the bandits. Handsome Jack on the other side ?Who wouldn't want to work for someone like that ?

The train trip to Opportunity was way longer than expected. When they told him that he will be travelling by train, Rhys expected it to take about two or three hours at most. But here he was. Sitting on an uncomfortable seat with muscles itching from lack of movement. He and the other four Vault Hunters have been on this train for about six hours, without any information about their whereabouts what so ever. Rhys tried to ask one of the guards passing him in the wagon, but he would always get the same answer. “We will be there soon, sir. Please just wait on your seat.” Once more he tried to use his ECHO eye to see if he can get any hints about how far from the city they were, but since this was his first time on the planet his eye wasn’t fully collaborated with the land yet and so it could show him nothing but blur of useless information.

Rhys sighed and looked around at his four companions. They were sharing this small space for almost seven hours, but none of them have spoken a word.

Nearest to him was sitting a girl with blue short hair and yellow shirt that was missing one sleeve. Her arm was covered in a tattoo matching her hair with its colour. She was reading some old-looking book. Rhys tried to look at the name, but it was written in a language he didn’t recognize.

On his other side was a handsome looking blond man trying to fix something on his turret that he’d deployed after an hour of their trip. Rhys had considered offering him a help with that, but decided against it. After all, he wouldn’t let anyone touch his mechanical arm either.

In front of him was sleeping a short man with funny looking beard. His snoring seemed to be louder than the train itself. Rhys was tempted to wake him up, but he valued his life too much for even getting closer to the guy. Even though he was short, Rhys considered him to be the scariest of them all. The guy had more muscles than the mutated cows on Eden 5.

And then there was this… person, sitting right next to the sleeping cow guy. He was dressed in black thin armour and had a helmet covering his face. He was not moving. At all. From the first moment, they got in the train until now, Rhys did not see this person move. It was freaky, but fascinating at the same time.

After a quick self-convincing he decided to talk to the girl.

“Hey.” Rhys greeted her, moving to sit closer.

“Hey.” She replied, her grey eyes never leaving pages of the book.

“Ehm...” The brunet cleared his throat. “The book you are reading. It looks… Interesting.”

“It is.”

“What is it about? “

She sighs, understanding that he will not leave her alone that easily, and finally looks away from the book turning her attention to Rhys. “It is about mystical realms and the effect they can have on one’s aura and mana.”

“Oh” Rhys replied not knowing what he had expected. “That’s, nice. Aura and stuff. Really cool.” Smooth one. God the day he learns how to talk to girls will be the day skags will start writing gay romantic poems.

The girl raised one eyebrow. She was about to move back to her book, but then she noticed the mechanical arm and pointed at it. “You made that yourself?”

Rhys looked at his arm, as if just now realizing it was there. “Oh. This? Well, I had a little help with the basic structure, but yeah. I did most of it on my own.”

“Can I have a look?” She grabbed the arm without waiting for permission and started inspecting the separate parts. “Is it connected to your nerve system or just the arm muscles?”

“Both, actually. It allows it to react on both conscious and subconscious impulses. I also have it synchronized with my ECHO eye, so I can use it as a computer.” He turns on the projection of map from the projector built into the metallic palm to show his point. ”This thing can come really handy in combat.” Rhys chuckled to himself. “Pun intended.”

To his surprise, the blue haired girl smiles back leaving his arm be and looking back into his eyes.

“Those are hard to find these days. How did you manage do get one?” She asks this time pointing at his ECHO eye.

“My dad was a scientist. He gave it to me when I was ten years old. Saying it will improve my chances to follow in his footsteps.” Rhys looked away to stare at his black shoes. “But you can say things didn’t really turn out as he’d expected.”

The girl was silent for a moment not sure how to respond to that. “My name is Maya.” She says after a second of thinking. “It is really nice to meet you. You seem to be a nice guy, for a Vault Hunter.”

“Rhys.” He smiled, shaking her hand. ”Same goes for you.”

“So, tell me Rhys. How did you end up working for Hyperion?” Maya asks closing her book.

“Well.” He rose his hand running through his hair. “I was kinda hoping that it would get me to meet Handsome Jack.” Rhys paused looking at blue sign with the man’s face. “I really do admire the guy you know? I was thinking that working for him would be a great experience.” At this Maya laughed.

She´s got a beautiful smile. Rhys thought, blushing a little. “You are lucky that the man decided to hire Vault Hunters. Must be a dream come true.”

“Heh. Guess you’re right.” He smiled looking at his shoes. “Don’t get me wrong. There are plenty of things the guy does that I don’t agree with. Still, it only took him a decade to turn Hyperion into what it is today. And I think that’s admirable. “Maya shrugs mumbling something that sounded like, guess you’re right, under her breath.

“And what about you?” Rhys’s eyes finally leaving the floor and turning back to her.”What made you join?”

She stayed silent for a second thinking about her answer. “I came to Pandora to find more information about sirens. Because this place seems to be their origin. But I had no luck with coming across any valid clues, only this one guy talking about a siren that used to live here. Unfortunately, she got killed by Hyperion a few months ago. At least that’s what the official records say, but the rumour has it that she is still alive. Hiding, because she knows Hyperion is after her.” There was a brief pause before she continued. “Anyway, I have been running out of resources, and the pay check Hyperion offers is hard to say no to.”

Rhys nodded. “So you really are a sir-“ He got interrupted by a loud noise of something landing on the roof. They wasted no time getting combat ready, standing up from their seats, loading their guns.

Rhys’s attention got caught by a movement coming from the sign with Handsome Jack saying “Welcome Vault Hunters.” It was revealing another sign. Handsome Jack was on it still smiling, now with a murderer’s grin. Rhys’s heart stopped when he read the new red sign.

Welcome Vault Hunters. To you doom.

(nothing personal)

Part 2 - Daddy's lil monster

There were two loader bots charging up right before their shocked eyes, and more sounds were coming from the roof. Rhys spotted the black armoured Vault Hunter moving to the window and climbing his way up after the sources. He wanted to join him, but got interrupted by Maya who caught his sleeve and dragged him down on the floor to cover just a second before the robots started shooting at the spot where the two of them were standing. New turret was deployed responding them with the same number of bullets.

Mayas tattoo glowing in light blue as she pointed her finger at the nearest loader bot. “Freeze.” She yells and the unfortunate thing is trapped, levitating in dark purple bubble, unable to move. Rhys wastes no time before he starts sending his bullets into it. They manage to destroy him unusually fast. From Rhys’ experience, you need at least one full gun magazine to wipe out a single Hyperion loader bot, but now with Maya´s help he only used a half of it.

There were more of them coming. Rhys looks at Maya, waiting for her to make another bubble but she just shook her head. No more bubbles. Reloading his SMG Rhys aimed for the red light placed in the middle of robots’ head. Their weakest spot. This time it didn’t go as fast as before, but he managed to take down two more robots, before running out of ammo and switching for pistol. Luckily Maya was still there, helping with dealing the damage. The total count of destroyed robots by the duo was five.

The two remaining Vault Hunters meanwhile took out the other four loaders, the smaller one now shooting into the door with maniacal laugh. It takes him only a moment to get them opened and once the passage is clear they all run into the next room, the last Vault Hunter in black armour joining them, his sword covered in fresh blood.

Rhys’ heart freezes at a sound of s familiar voice coming from figurine sitting in a red chair in the middle of the room. But Rhys didn’t hear what it was saying. His full attention got caught by the enormous amount of explosive that was stocked in the room. Without a second thought, Rhys turns on his ECHO eye to its maximum performance.

He likes to call this his “ultimate ability”. By connecting all data it had received, and after analysing the possible outcomes, it allows Rhys for a few moments not only to predict, but to see next moves of his enemies as well as the future shape of his surroundings. Right now, it was calculating the unavoidable explosion and its outcomes, leading him into the safest position by the window granting him 1.028 % of survival.

He gets into the position just to hear Jack´s voice say, welcome to Pandora kiddos followed by an explosion that throws Rhys to the wall hitting his head hard and knocking him out into the darkness.

It was raining outside when his mother was murdered by local bandit’s gang, god knows what she did to piss them of. She was well known for her sharp tongue so the chances were that she just said the wrong things to the wrong people.

His father would've always say that she was going to get herself into a trouble if she wouldn’t keep some things to herself. And so here she was. Lying in a pool of her own blood in the middle of their living room, her empty eyes looking at her son and husband who just got back from the grocery shop.

The bags his father was holdingfell on the floor as he was running to her. “Call the medic!” He yelled back at his son, who immediately did as he was told. But Rhys knew it was pointless, she was already gone. And so was the rest of his father’s sanity.

Before the accident, his parents had a great plan prepared for Rhys. He would go to college, get his diploma and follow in his father's footsteps into becoming a famous technical developer. To increase his chances, his father replaced Rhys’ biological eye with an ECHO eye of his own creation.

But with his wife dead, Rhys’ dad had a change of mind. He determined for Rhys to become a solider, who's quest will be to get rid of all bandits in the known universe. As impossible as the idea might sound, he truly believed that his son will be capable to achieve that goal.

“You are still too weak.” He commented one day, looking down at Rhys who was laying down on the ground (again) after being defeated by the robot (again) that his dad made for him to train with. “You need to become stronger. You need to become strong enough to knock someone out just by punching them with your…” He paused for a second “fist.” At that, he turned on his heel and walked away. Rhys didn´t see him for a week after that.

When he finally returned, he grabbed his son and led him into the lab. Rhys’ attention got caught by a silver robotic hand laying on the working table, and so he didn’t notice his dad holding an injection, until he felt sharp pain in his neck. His knees buckled and Rhys slipped into unconsciousness.

When he woke up, his left side felt like it was set on fire. He looked for the source and saw the silver arm from earlier attached to the left shoulder. His father ran to him when Rhys started screaming.

“Oh. You’re finally awake.”

“YOU CUT OF MY ARM!” Rhys’ eyes wide open, staring at the silver thing lying next to him.

“Would you calm down?” His dad replied, the same monotone voice as always. “I had to replace your arm. It was too weak.”

“YOU CUT OF MY FUCKING ARM!” Rhys continued yelling, his voice full of panic. Tears making their way into his eyes.

“Listen young man.” Clearing his throat, he continued. “Soon you will understand how big favour from me this was.” He paused for a second, focusing on his son’s new attached arm. “I will give you some time to adjust. Come to the kitchen when you are ready, we have to do some tests with it.” At that he left, closing the door behind him. Rhys waited until the sound of father’s footsteps subsided in the hallway. Than he started crying.

As much as Rhys hated to agree with his father, the hand was indeed very useful. Not only it increased his physical strength but now, after few adjustments, he could connect it to his ECHO eye, gaining for himself an access into every machine that was running on ones and zeros. They returned to their training and things started looking a little better.

That was until his dad tried to cut off the other arm in his sleep.

Rhys woke up in the middle of the night, feeling a pressure on his mattress. Scream escaped out of his mouth when he saw a figure kneeling above him, holding another injection. He pushed into his father’s chest with all his strength. Underestimating his new gained power, he pushed him way to hard and so his father – who obviously did not expect Rhys to do that – ended up falling backwards, hitting his head on the sharp corner of the bedside table.

And so, Rhys watched his second parent die in a pool of blood.

After that, Rhys decided to leave his home town. He sold his house and used the money to buy an equipment that allowed him to become a proper Vault Hunter.

The first time he’s heard about Handsome Jack was on one of his missions on Eden 5. His task was to assassinate the head of a small bandit camp. Rhys got the quest from the mayor of some random town that had been having lots of troubles with the group for almost half a year.

When he was done shooting a hole into the guy’s head, he heard news from the radio that had been turned on before he got into the room. They were talking about Hyperion’s new CEO and about how he was doing some massive changes within the company. Rhys chuckled when he heard his name. Handsome Jack. What person with sane mind would want to be called like that? There was no way his mother had given such name to him.

He didn’t pay much attention to him at first. CEOs come, CEOs go. That’s a known fact.

But over time, Rhys heard more and more about him. About how he focused on mining eridium, about how Hyperion’s every gun was now a top sale, or about how they were on a constant need for new employees.

And so, Rhys ended up searching his name on the ECHO net. And couldn’t get him out of his mind ever since.

Handsome Jack was perfect. He was fearless, he was respected, and he claimed for his life goal to be whipping all bandits out of Pandora, planet Rhys had never heard nothing but stories filled with psychos, mass murders and fauna that can kill you the moment you set your foot on the land. Rhys has become obsessed with him.

The day he saw the poster, saying the Handsome Jack was looking for Vault Hunters, was the luckiest day in his life. He decided to take the picture – of Handsome Jack with his arms wide opened, inviting every Vault Hunter to join him on Pandora – with him after staring at it with his jaw dropped for almost ten minutes.

He was going to work for Handsome Jack himself! He will be able to look him into the perfect mismatched eyes, and who knows? Maybe he will even talk to the guy.

Rhys smiled for himself. Maybe the universe didn’t hate him that much after all.

Part 3- I am sorry

Universe despised Rhys. And its way of saying that was making him wake up with his head half buried in the snow, and ears ringing as if he’d been listening to malfunctioning megaphone in headphones on the maximum volume. But he was still alive.

Rhys groaned and dug himself out of the white dirt.

He set a moment in the snow, waiting for his head to stop spinning, while trying to connect the previous events.

He was on the train. Going to Opportunity. It was s trap. The train exploded. It was supposed to kill him, but it didn’t.

Unsure what to do now he stood up and started walking in a random direction. Snow was cracking heavily under his shoes, while Rhys tried to move forward as fast as the white material allowed him to. It didn’t take a long before he heard noises coming from one of the broken wagons.

Rhys immediately started running that direction, ignoring the burning pain in his left leg.

He saw Maya laying on the ground, stuck under an iron pillar, her tattoos glowing light blue as she was trying to move the thing away from her torso with her magic. But the fact that she was bleeding heavily on several places sure was making it difficult for her.

She gave up on her trying when she spotted Rhys. Her lips moved as if calling his name, but no sound reached Rhys’ ears. He ran to her, tripping over his dysfunctioning leg. Yeah, that’s definitely broken.

Rhys joined Maya in trying to get the thing away. Together they pushed with all their strength, but it was immediately clear that even if he had his arm fully charged, only the two of them would never be able to lift it up. It was just too heavy.

Judging by Maya’s changing face expression, she was thinking about the same thing.

“I…I can go and try to look for help. There might be someone-” He tried to stand up but Maya grabbed him by his sleeve shaking her head. There was something sad in her eyes when she pointed at the gun Rhys had tucked to his belt.

Rhys was confused for a while, looking at the gun and then back at Maya, not understanding what she wanted from him.

His eyes widen in surprise when the realization hit him. “You can’t be serious!” He shouted leaning away from her. “There has to be some way.” Maya didn’t say anything, so Rhys continued. “I’m gonna go up there, I’m gonna get some help and we will get that thing off of you.” He tried to stand up again, but she only tightened her grip.

“You are a Vault Hunter, Maya.” He was pretty much yelling at this point. “Vault hunters don’t give up. We fight till our last breath, until there is no other way, and, and even then! We go and make our own…” Rhys’ voice was shaking as the tears started making their way into his eyes.

“I am done fighting Rhys. I am stuck under a train in the middle of a frozen desert.” Her voice was weak, easily lost under the sound of frozen wind.

Rhys didn’t answer. He wasn’t even looking at her, his eyes set on the white cold ground, head shaking.

“Rhys, please.” She whispered “Don’t let me…. Bleed to death slowly. That’s not…That’s not how I wanna go.” When he didn´t move, she continued with weak voice. “There is no one around here. Handsome Jack had his reasons for waiting with the explosion until we reached this location.” Rhys shook at the name. He really wanted to hate the man for being the cause of his current situation, but in the same time he did understood his motives. He finally met with her tired, gray eyes. There was so much sadness hidden in them. But no fear. Maya wasn’t afraid of death.

“I don’t wanna do it.” He said. His voice abandoning him. “I really don’t.”

“I know. I am sorry Rhys.”

He nodded. Fingers running through her blue, blood soaked, hair before slowly standing up, reaching for his gun. His flesh-hand was shaking way too hard for him to hold the weapon in it, so he put it into the robot one instead.

“Goodbye Maya.” Rhys whispered, tears running down his cheeks.

“Bye Rhys.” She smiled.

The smile did not leave her lips even after Rhys pulled the trigger.

Harsh sound of gunfire echoed through the frozen land, spreading the message of young girls’ death into the wide world, making all other noises go silent. But after a moment, it just got lost in the wind.

Rhys stood in the same position for a couple of moments before his knees betrayed him and he fell onto the frozen ground next to the dead girl. He didn’t even know her for that long. And there he was, kneeling next to her dead corpse, crying over her death, tears freezing on his face.

As a Vault Hunter, he should be used to people dying around him. He should, but he wasn’t. Rhys never really got to enjoy killing like others usually did in this kind of job. He wasn’t built to be a Vault Hunter, but his father did great job making him think that this was the only thing in his life he could do properly. That killing people is the only way for him to ever achieve anything.

He stood up, ignoring the growing pain in his leg – which seemed to be way more intense now when the adrenalin was washing away from his body – and headed away from the corpse. Not even considering picking up the gun. It used to be his favourite weapon. He did many modifications on it, making it to be one of the best guns he had ever have. But now? After using it to kill Maya? There was no way he would ever use that one ever again. Plus, if the rumours were true, Pandora was drowning in weapons. It wouldn´t take him long to find, or create, a proper replacement.

He noticed a light, coming from behind him. First, Rhys blamed it at the flames that were still surrounding some of the destroyed wagons. But there was something off. Was it even possible for the flames to be blue?

Rhys turned around, when the light started to grow more intense. “What the-” He watched some form of blue energy raising from the place where he left Maya’s body.

Without thinking, Rhys started running away from the source. But the leg hurt him like hell and he only managed to get a few steps away before a flash of blue light hit him, rising Rhys up from his feet up above the ground.

He saw nothing but white. He felt nothing but cold before the energy started spreading through his whole body, making it impossible to do as little as breathe. When his vision came back to him he was floating in the air, the blue light he saw earlier was now surrounding him. It was the clearest colour he had ever seen. It was so scary, so beautiful, so energetic all in the same moment. And yet, it left him completely numb, his brain being too overwhelmed by trying to process the situation Rhys was in, not having any time to produce proper emotions.

Before he managed to figure out what was happening, it was all gone. The blue light, the energetic feeling…Only thing that stayed was the cold.

He was lying on the ground again, without any idea about what just happened, unsure what to do now. When the cold started soaking in, he got up with a sight.

Rhys knew that there was no point in trying to figure out what had just happened to him. His life was filled with crazy stuff like that, he gave up on trying to understand them years ago. His life was weird. Weird things happened to him, practically on daily basis.

Plus, right now he was too cold, too sad and too tired to even care about anything. All he wanted to do was find some safe warm place, curl up in the corner and forget that the rest of the world ever existed.

Still, he couldn’t get rid of the awful feeling, that this weird experience was going to have some really bad consequences.

***

“What do you mean one of them survived?”

“That there is a person whose life functions maintained untouched even after the explosion.”

“Don’t be a smartass Angel. It doesn’t look good on you.” Brown haired girl on the screen rolled her eyes as Jack leaned his back on the table while holding his chin with the left hand. “Did you manage to locate them?”

“No. Not yet. The storm is blocking my signals. We will need to wait for the weather to calm down before I can contact them.”

Awesome. This means that there is a pissed Vault Hunter running around in the Southern Shelg, and Jack has absolutely no control over them. “And I don’t suppose you know which one of them it was, do you?”

She shrugs. “Nope. No Idea. Could be anyone.”

“Well isn’t this just fricking perfect?!” Jack turns away from the huge monitor he has been using to communicate with his daughter and starts walking around the table. “First there was that fiasco with Maliwan catching our spy, another of our eridium mines got taken over by some cock-sucking bandits and now I gotta deal with some piss stain who just won’t stay dead after I fucking tell him to!”

Grabbing his gun Jack shoots his whole magazine into one of his targets he had someone to set up all around his office. He did that after Angel suggested that shooting into his employees every time he needs to cool down his temperature might not by the best idea if he wanted to keep his number of stuff in the same way it is.

Jack knew she was right, but still. It just wasn’t the same without all the blood and begging being involved.

When he turned back, Angel was still watching him with unamused expression on her face. “What do you want me to tell them when I manage to establish contact?”

“I don’t know.” Jack responds in frustrated voice throwing his hands up, still holding on that gun. “That it would be lovely if they just could jump off the nearest cliff and break their fucking neck or something.”

“I don’t think that would help us to achieve anything. Besides, even if I would succeed in persuading them into doing so, I don’t suppose anything would happen to them. Judging by the odd way the gravity works on this planet, they would just walk away after that in the same shape they were before.”

“Angel, what did I just say about being a smartass?” She smirks back at him with raised eyebrows. Jack could not help but see himself in that expression. Sometimes he wishes that the two of them weren’t so alike. She would be way easier to deal with, if she hadn’t had inherited so much from him.

But she has a point. Getting rid of a Vault Hunter is never that easy, especially when they expect you to come after them. He needs to be smart about this. “Alright. We are going to have to do this right.” Jack continues, the left hand back on his chin. “You will gain their trust. Help them reach Sanctuary. We can use having someone who will listen to you in that forsaken city.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? Helping another Vault Hunter to join the resistance? Wouldn’t we be just playing into their hands?”

Jack just waived his hand dismissively. “Nah, they are going to get there anyway. This way they will at least have a feeling that they can trust you. And I am pretty sure we will be able to use that in our advantage.”

Angel nodded with pensive expression. “All right. I think I can do that.”

“I know you can, sweetheart.” Jack winked at her. “Just let me know when you find out who exactly are we dealing with, will ya?”

Nodding again, she mumbled something like, as you wish, before the screen turned off.

When he was alone, Jack returned to his computer. There was so much work for him to do, even before the fuck up with assassinating the Vault Hunters. He opened his e-mail with the conversation with Maliwan. It was time for him to turn the charms on and someone to manage to get Hyperion back on good terms with the elemental-focused gun manufactory, before they manage to turn it into an armed conflict.

This was going to be a long night.

#fanfic #rhac #vaulthunter #rhys #handsome jack #borderlands #angel #claptrap #slow build

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hazywolf254 · 3 years ago

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Aphrodite’s Harem Chapter 1.

The world is made up of three zones. Above is the gods zone, in it dwell the immortal gods. Gods are omnipotent beings that are said to be the creators of all mortals. Below is the devils zone, in it dwell the immortal devils. Devils are devious omnipotent beings that are said to cause all the disasters that befall mortals. And finally in the middle is the mortal zone, in it dwell the mortals.

Time moves differently in the zones, in both the gods zone and the devils zone, one day is equal to one year in the mortal zone. Because of this gods and devils tend to travel into the mortal zone, where they are immune to the effects of aging, and thus can't die of old age. A god or devil can't be killed by a mortal only another god or devil. While in the mortal zone gods and devils can start whole religions that are dedicated to them, giving them an extra amount of power.

Back in the past gods and devils went to the mortal zone in order to gain more power, but wars began to start, and many mortals were killed. After that the gods and devils agreed on a rule that neither side was allowed to just freely gone between the realms. A ritual was created and became required for any immortal to leave into the mortal zone, and doing so would cause them to lose most of their powers. Those who did go into the mortal realm were considered criminals and not allowed back, but were able to gain back their power if they learned where their powers came from. If one couldn't figure it out, then they would lose all their power and become mortal. It was this that keep most immortals to stay in their own zones, and mess with the mortals in different ways. It is debated about whether the gods gave us are individual appearances to give us uniqueness, or if it was the work of the devils wanting us to judge based on appearance. One thing that is known is that both the gods and devils play with the mortals, granting them powers, or giving them curses just out of boredom.

Even though there were risks involved, some gods and devils have traveled to the mortal zone, for one reason or another. Among them was a god by the name of Aphrodite, who about a month ago arrived in the mortal zone. This is the tale of her and the women she meets along the way, and the adventures they go on.

It was a sunny day in a small village, kids were running around laughing and playing, while the adults talked, and performed their daily activities. One young girl went running out to a field and began to search for flowers to pick. She smiled when she found a pink one, her favorite color, and picked the flower. Excited, she turned around and started to run back to show her mother, but stopped when she heard a scream. She stood staring in horror as her village was burning before her eyes, tears began to form in her eyes, as the fear took over her.

From behind her, she heard a ruff voice. "Well, what have we got here?" She turned around and was looking at a tall, rough, ugly looking man with a short sword in his hand. He smiled when he said. "Looks like you got no home to go back to, eh girly?"

The girl screamed and ran away as fast as she could. "Were you running girly?" the man said as he took off after her his sword raised. Being faster than the girl the man caught up to her in no time, and prepared to strike. The girl closed her eyes as she waited for the blade to cut her, but instead of that she heard the man yell in pain. She opened her eyes and saw the man lying on the ground, a bloody gash on his chest. Standing in front of her was a tall woman of Asian descent, her long black hair tied up in a ponytail. She wore white stripes of cloth wrapped around her chest, arms, crotch, and legs. She held a katana in her hand, the mans fresh blood still dripping off it.

The woman kneeled down to the girl's level and said in a calm voice, "You are safe now, stay by me and I will keep you safe."

With tears in her eyes the little girl asks "My village, it's... it's on fire. My mom and dad are there." The little girl started to cry.

"Do not worry, little one, your village is being taken care off as we speak." The woman said. "My name is Katana, what is your's?"

"Wendy" the little girl said.

"Well Wendy, my companions are taking care of your village. So there is no need for you to cry now." Katana said as she wiped away Wendy's tears.

Meanwhile, in the village, the raging fire has started to calm down as a brown skinned woman with short red hair, stood in the middle of the village, her arms out in front of her. The woman's name was Ember, and she wore a white t-shirt, and black leather jacket, jeans, boots, and fingerless gloves. Her nails were painted red, and she wore red eye shadow.

The fire from the village flew into her hands and disappeared, until all the fire in the village has been put out. As Ember was removing the fire, a man approached from behind her, sword raised ready to strike. Before the man could strike, he was tangled up in vines, that sprouted from the ground. Ember turned around and aimed her right hand at the man, instantly the man and the vines were engulfed in flames. The man now charred black, fell forward to the ground, smoke rising from his body, the vines burned and turned to ash blowing in the wind.

"Really? Just had to burn my vines, hothead?" Behind the burnt man stood a pale skinned woman with long brown hair. The woman's name was Rose and she wore a yellow dress, and brown boots, on her right hand was a tattoo of a rose. "Next time I'll just let them kill you."

"I didn't need your help, shorty" Ember said.

"Don't call me short, matchstick!" Rose said, as she walked up to the other woman, her head coming up to the other woman's chest.

"How about shrimp?" Ember replied.

The two began shouting insults at each other, Ember's hair burst into flames, as a man with a sword ran up to them, sword raised, ready to strike, shouting. "Maybe instead of arguing with each other, you should pay attention!"

"Stay out of this!" The two women yelled, as the man was hit by multiple vines, and a ball of flames. The man fell to the ground as the two women went back to arguing with each other. Soon the two women were surrounded by ten guys each holding swords.

"Let's fight later, looks like we have party crashers." Rose said.

"Who ever beats the most wins?" Ember asked.

As the two women started to attack the men, a pink haired, pale skinned woman, wearing pink pajamas with red heart shapes on them, appeared out of a spiral portal, into the village. Her name was Aphrodite, who let out a yawn, as a man with his hair on fire ran behind her screaming. The man, still screaming, turned and started to run in front of her, he ran a circle around her. The man did this two more times, before Aphrodite stuck out her leg and triped him, causing him to land face first onto the ground, the fire on his head went out.

"And that makes five, looks like I win." Ember proclaimed.

"Do the math oven top, there were ten of them, if you beat five then that means I also beat five, so we're tied." Rose said.

"What'd I miss?" Aphrodite asked, looking at the two women, the bodies of unconscious men half burned, half tangled in vines, lay around them. Hearing her voice the two women stopped fighting and turned their heads to Aphrodite, took off running toward her, and both shouted "Dite!"

The two women wrapped their arms around Aphrodite, and Ember exclaimed. "Your awake!"

"Yes I am, now can tell me what's going on, Ember?" Aphrodite asked.

The two women let go of Aphrodite, and Ember, said. "This village was attacked by bandits, so we stopped to help them."

Aphrodite looked around and saw many of the buildings had been burnt. Around them the villagers had gathered and looked at them in awe, some sporting burns, others with bleeding wounds. Aphrodite turned to Rose and asked her. "Rose, can you tie these guys up, and then help the injured villagers?"

"Of course." Rose said. As Rose went to do what she was asked, Aphrodite heard a young girl's voice shout "Mommy, Daddy!"

"Wendy!" A woman shouted as a young girl came running toward her. The woman knelt down and the girl ran into her arms, a man knelt next to the woman, and the three of them hugged, and started to cry. "I was so worried, what happened, where were you?"

"I went to find you a flower mommy, then this man came after me, but then a tall lady with a sword, saved me." As the girl said this, a woman's voice called out. "My love, you are awake!"

Aphrodite looked to her left, as Katana ran up to her and hugged her. "Katana, you're crushing me!"

"I'm sorry my love." Katana said, bowing.

Rose brought over the last of the men, vines wrapped around his torso, his arms behind his back, and forced him to sit next to ten other bound men, half of them burned. Rose said. "Here they are, I'm gonna go get started on healing up the injured."

"Thank you." Aphrodite said.

Smiling Rose turned to face the villagers and said "Anyone who is in need of medical attention follow me."

Rose walked through the crowd, a group of burned and bleeding villagers following her. As Rose walked away, Wendy and her parents walked up to Katana, the father said. "Thank you for saving our daughter, if there is anything we can do for you please don't hesitate to ask."

"It is no big deal, I was happy to do it." Katana said smiling.

"Please let us do something to repay you." The father insisted.

"I'm hungry, do you have any food?" Aphrodite asked.

"Yes, the food storage luckily was spared from the fire, as thanks for saving the village and my daughter, we will throw you all a feast." Wendy's father said.

"Yay, feast!" Aphrodite yelled. A cough from one of the bandits caused Dite to look back at them.

"What are you looking at bitch!" One of them asked Aphrodite. The bandit quickly went quiet when a sword was pointed at his throat, Katana calmly said. "Shall I execute them for you, my love."

"No, it's ok" Aphrodite said, Katana removed her sword from the bandit's throat. "But what should I do with them?"

"I got an idea." The bandit said. "Let us go and we'll give you girls the time of your lives."

"Yeah, no." Aphrodite said cocking her head smiling.

"How about you red?" The Bandit asked Ember. "Wanna come back with us, I promise it will be fun."

"Ew, no way creep." Ember said. All of a sudden Aphrodite's happy attitude was replaced with rage as she stared at the tied up bandits. Instantly they all turned into frogs, and began hopping away in different directions. Aphrodite turned to Wendy's father, smiling and asked. "When's the feast?"

Later that night, the entire village was gathered outside around a fire, the villagers ate, laughed, danced, and drank. Aphrodite sat on the ground with plates full of food, stuffing her face as Katana, Ember, and Rose sat by her and ate their own smaller portions. Wendy and her parents sat across from them, Wendy's father asked them, "So, what brought you to our village in the first place?"

"We were just passing by" Katana said. "We are looking for something."

"What?" Wendy's mother asked.

"We don't know." Rose replied.

"You don't know?" Wendy's father asked.

"I don't remember." Aphrodite said.

"You don't remember?" Wendy's mother asked.

"Nope, when I came to the mortal zone I forgot what it was." Aphrodite said.

"Mortal zone, who are you?" Wendy's father asked.

"My names Aphrodite, and I'm a god." Aphrodite said with a smile on her face.

"A god!" Wendy's parents exclaimed.

In the morning it was time for the girls to leave the village, they said their goodbyes to Wendy and her parents and went to look for whatever it is Aphrodite is looking for, what adventures await them only time and this story will tell.

Chapter notes: I originally posted this story here: https://www.fictionpress.com/s/3352240/1/Aphrodite-s-Harem. But I have decided to post it on other sites to try and get more feedback.

I will continue to post chapters here, but if this story interested you and you would like to read more please check out the link above.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I welcome feedback, so please feel free to tell me what you think.

#Story #manga inspired #anime inspired #adventure #shonen inspired #wlw #looking for feedback #fiction

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deadcactuswalking · 6 years ago

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 2nd September 2018

If you asked me where the UK Singles Chart was at right now, I’d hesitantly tell you that a lot of it is boring dancehall-infused trash, but really, I have no idea because this week has threw me for a loop. Let’s just scroll through the weirdness that has thrown me off this week. We have three debuts, two of which being the first ever K-pop groups in the UK top 40, there’s a borderline mash-up in the top 15 right now, credited to Gigi D’Agostino, who hasn’t charted since 2002 or so, meanwhile we have Panic! at the Disco in the top 40, as well as a guy who doesn’t even know how to correctly format his song titles on Spotify... but the weirdest part is probably the top 5, hell, the top 2.

Top 10

We start with a new #1... and I have no bloody idea why “Eastside” caught on so much. I am incredibly confused by this. It’s Halsey’s second #1, but Khalid and benny blanco are having their first... but I don’t see the appeal. This and the runner-up spot are perplexingly boring and just don’t have any real endearing hook. I’m confused by the immense success these two songs have had. If you read last week’s episode, you’d know that the second song here is...

“Promises” by Calvin Harris and Sam Smith is up two spots to number-two... somehow. Man, I’m fine with bad music being at the top like this but I really don’t understand why these two songs, being some of the most uninteresting schlock that’s been put out by any major pop artist in years, is getting this successful. I’m baffled, honestly, despite the strange happenings, this Top 40 still mostly feels like an immense slog and the fact that these two songs are reigning at the top just demonstrates that in a nice nutshell.

Former #1 “Shotgun” by George Ezra is down two spaces to number-three.

Drake’s “In My Feelings” featuring City Girls is now at number-four as it’s down two spaces from last week.

Oh, and more weirdness to add to this confusing tirefire of a singles chart, we have two absolute nobodies at number-five: Loud Luxury and brando with “Body”, not moving from last week.

Also not moving at all is “God is a woman” by Ariana Grande, still steady at number-six.

Oh, up two spots to number-seven is “Girls Like You” by Maroon 5 featuring Cardi B.

“No Brainer”, fortunately, by DJ Khaled featuring Justin Bieber, Quavo and Chance the Rapper, is down a space to number-eight.

Up one spot to number-nine is “Taste” by a pedophile and a proud self-proclaimed homophobe, because of course it is.

Finally, entering the top 10 at number-10 is “Lucid Dreams” by Juice WRLD... because the British public likes comedy rap now, apparently.

Climbers

As I said in the preamble, “In My Mind” by Dynoro and Gigi D’Agostino is up 21 spaces to #15, and right next to it at #16 is “Happier” by Marshmello and Bastille, leaping up 15 spots. “High Hopes” by Panic! at the Disco jumps up nine positions to #25, and it definitely deserves that gain, while “Best Life” by Hardy Caprio featuring One Acen is up six spots to #26, while “Panic Room” by Au/Ra and CamelPhat, also deserving of its success, up five spaces to #33. That’s it in terms of what’s notable here though.

Fallers

There’s even LESS of note to talk about here on the falling side, as we have only a singular fall, albeit an absolutely massive one, as “Only You” – what a fitting name – by Cheat Codes and Little Mix has dropped down a whopping 27 spaces to #40, barely scraping onto the bottom of the charts. I could talk about the sad losses for Post Malone, Clean Bandit and 5 Seconds of Summer, but that’d be a waste of time since it’s not really worth bothering with.

Dropouts

So, the website I use for that information does not have it available for this week, so, from what I can gather, “Bed” by Nicki Minaj featuring Ariana Grande is out from #39, “Ocean” by Martin Garrix and Khalid is out from #29, “TOOTIMETOOTIMETOOTIME” by the 1975 is, thankfully, out from #26, “sweetener” by Ariana Grande featuring Pharrell is out from #22 and “Praise the Lord (Da Shine)” by A$AP Rocky featuring Skepta is out from #20 but if I missed anything here, I’m sorry, it’s out of my control.

Returning Entries

Just “This is Me” by Keala Settle and The Greatest Showman Ensemble returning once again to #38, as well as “no tears left to cry” by Ariana Grande crawling back to #35... That’s pretty much the usual goings-on here in the returning entries.

The Ed Sheeran Update!

“Perfect” by Ed Sheeran is up four spaces to #57 and “Shape of You” is up two spaces to #78.

NEW ARRIVALS

#37 – “Baby Shark” – Pinkfong

Pinkfong? Like, “pink thong”? I mean, alright.

Okay, so, yeah, this band, Pinkfong, is a children’s music band, assumingly, as this is their song that samples the Jaws theme in the intro, slowly turning into a peaceful pop tune with some handclaps and an infuriatingly catchy earworm hook of ‘doo-doo-doo-doo’, before it increases in speed with some ascending and descending synths right before it immediately slows down and they are “safe at last” from Mommy, Daddy and Baby Shark. They claim that is the end of the song, then it IS the end of the song. It’s one minute and 36 seconds. It’s not awful, but it barely counts as anything more than a musical interlude. It should not be charting, yet alone debuting in the top 40. This is already a hit song, and yes, it’s probably because of the meme that combined “Johny Johny Yes Papa” with the song, that got loads of likes and retweets, leading to more attention on the song, I suppose? If this charts, I hope that gives way to much better meme songs like “MOOO!” by Doja Cat creeping their way onto the charts... actually, considering the recently discovered tweets and the pathetic apology for them, maybe let’s not make that happen either.

#36 – “Lost Without You” – Freya Ridings

Okay, so, who’s Freya Ridings? Well, from what I can gather, she’s an indie singer / songwriter who has released a few songs and even a live album after breaking out this year due to this song and its remix, as to be expected. Well, what about the unaltered song itself? Well, it’s not very special at all, but it’s a pretty well-done piano ballad. I love Ridings’ voice, it is very much like a Florence + the Machine influence, but I’d argue it fits much better than Florence Welch’s vocals on this type of simplistic yet effective piano-based composition and the pretty solid hook, so, yeah, I’m not necessarily complaining about this, hell, I’d say it does a damn good job at what it tries to be... I’m not usually a fan of ballads but this is something that tickles my fancy. It’s pretty graceful and subtle but it works.

#21 – “IDOL” – BTS featuring Nicki Minaj

I’ve heard... bad things. I’ve heard... very bad things about this single, and Nicki Minaj’s name plastered onto it is not a good sign, so I came in with the lowest possible expectations, despite enjoying BTS’ last record quite a lot, hell, I’ve reviewed “FAKE LOVE” despite it not peaking in the top 40 on a slightly slower week, but, yeah, this is history: the highest-peaking song by a K-pop band, and a K-pop act that’s not a meme (remember PSY?), although it may as well be, because this is hilariously awful.

It starts with some pretty glaringly GarageBand trumpets before transitioning into a rapidly moving and admittedly pretty nice rapping section where BTS’ rappers flow very nicely (the first guy has a great verse, actually) on a beat with a lot of heavy whistling for some reason, before choppily transitioning into a weak, autotuned hook that sounds pretty awful, and then it goes back to the whistles and the horns, now together into one barely-listenable mess, while there’s some loud yelling from BTS which just makes this post-hook feel incredibly cluttered... and then there’s the second rap section, where we have a laughably horrible verse where one of the members here shouts “I love myself!” and continues down that road in a painful autotuned croon, which, and I hate calling songs this, is just cringeworthingly bad. There’s a short bridge which feels out-of-place, and I’m not a fan of all the “oh-oh-oh” repetition in the post-hook... God, this is just a mess.

You notice by now that I’ve reviewed the solo BTS version pretty much, and that’s because Nicki Minaj adds nothing to the song at all other than rhyming “hands in the air” with itself about three or four times, and it’s no surprise that she doesn’t add much at this point.

Conclusion

So, it’s pretty obvious that BTS and Nicki get Worst of the Week for “IDOL”, but Best of the Week is going to “Lost Without You” by Freya Ridings, I could see that growing on me. See ya!

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