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knifefather · 3 years ago

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Hello guys! Uploading this chapter of Tutor Me for yall on tumblr! Only one more chapter to go before the story is complete. It’s been so fun to write this and I hope you enjoy this emotional train wreck of a chapter! Don’t worry though, I plan to finish Reader and Diego’s story with a bang, if you know what I mean! Anyway, I bring to you, chapter 5~

➼ Title: Tutor Me, Chapter 5 ➼ Pairing(s): Diego Brando/Reader, Johnny Joestar/Reader, Johnny Joestar/Gyro Zeppeli ➼ Fandom: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure ➼ Word Count: 4.3k ➼ Rating: Explicit, 18+ ➼ Contains: Chubby AFAB!Reader, college AU, angst, alcoholism, parental abuse, hurt and comfort. Grab your tissues!

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Preview

“This wasn’t supposed to happen...” he proclaimed, his tone growing more grave the more that he talked.

I wasn’t supposed to fall for you, he thought to himself, a crease settling into his brow. You were supposed to be a quick fuck. An experiment. That was all. But now look at where we are...

A soft look passed over his eyes before his expression contorted back to agitation. He angrily wiped the tears from his face and a bit of snot from his nose. When he moved his hand away, his expression was more determined than ever.

“Now get out of my way.”

Diego clasped the buckle on his helmet, straightening his posture and squaring his shoulders, before walking away from you yet again.

You stood behind him, mouth open, unable to even begin to form words. The dirt of the track whipped around you as a breeze passed through the stadium. The dust swirled around Diego as if it parted for him and only him, leading him towards victory.

The brightly lit stadium was packed to the brim with jockeys, paparazzi, and audience members when you arrived. You drew in a deep breath to calm your nerves, causing the thick, hot air to catch in your lungs. The atmosphere was almost oppressive as you made your way towards the admission line. Johnny, Gyro, and Hot Pants were already down on the track, having practiced for several hours before the actual tournament began. You were excited to see your friends but anxious about seeing Diego. Being around him tonight was a certainty that you had to deal with. Your throat grew dry at the realization, and you fleetingly thought about hitting the concession stand after you said hi to your friends.

You waited in line with the other attendees for God knows how long before the worker behind the counter took your ticket, allowing you entry. Quickly, you zipped past the stands and pushed through the crowds, heading down to the track before one of the staff members could stop you. As you made your way across the dirt, Johnny and the crew noticed you approaching and waved you closer. Your face broke out in a large smile as you neared them.

They all looked amazing: Hot Pants was dressed in her signature pink riding outfit and Johnny in his starry blue one. He looked cuter than you wanted to admit, and you adverted your eyes before you could be caught staring. Gyro looked more or less the same, but something about him seemed a bit more put together than usual. He gave you a distrustful look as you approached.

“Y/n! I’m so glad you made it!” Johnny said happily, wheeling over to you. His bright blue lips were tugged in a warm smile that made you forget about your anxiety for a moment.

“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it for anything in the world,” you replied.

In the distance, you could see the flashes of the paparazzi’s cameras aimed at the racers. There was a group of them nearby, snapping photos of a rider that was posing with their star racehorse. You knew it was a matter of time before the hoard would come to pester Johnny and the rest of the gang with photos and questions. You were correct in your assumptions: After a few moments of chatting amongst yourselves, the paparazzi interrupted your conversation with the crew by tapping Johnny on the shoulder and pushing a camera into his face. The interviewer flashed a too-white smile before looking into a camera that was held by another paparazzi. “And here we have racer number 7, Johnny Joestar! Johnny, tell us a little bit about your horse and hopes for the race,” they finished, whipping the microphone in his direction. His blue eyes went wide for a moment before clearing his throat. “Well…” He answered as swiftly as he could before he was hit with another barrage of questions.

As Johnny was being interviewed, several cameras snapped at Hot Pants, her outfit being praised by the rest of the team. She knew how to pose, too, and struck a different one every few seconds. Meanwhile, you had been more or less been pushed to the side and out of the cameras’ view. You looked at the scene, not envying your friends at all. Strangely enough, you noticed Gyro was standing off to the side as well, a pleased smile on his face. Unsure of how he would respond, you edged closer to him in hopes of making conversation, especially after the strange look he gave you earlier.

“What are you smiling about?” you asked innocuously, raising your voice a bit over the busy sounds of the stadium.

Gyro met your gaze, his expression shifting through a few different emotions before replying to you. “They don’t really like me,” he said.

You cocked a brow. “Why not? You’re a pretty good jockey.”

Gyro’s line of sight shifted from you to a paparazzi that was approaching him, presumably one that was new to the job. “Are you Gyro Zeppeli? Could you tell us a bit about yourself and your horse?” the young man asked, giving him the same treatment as Johnny. His cameraman pointed the filming instrument at Gyro’s face, getting way too close.

“Actually, my name is Inigo Montoya.” Gyro grinned, his gold teeth glinting in the bright lights.

“Oh,” the young paparazzi sputtered. He checked the roster in his pocket again, shaking his head before turning his attention back to him. “Sorry. Inigo. Where are you from? Why are you confident your horse will win the race?” the young man tried again.

“I hail from a land far, far away in the south. Super cold. You’ve probably never heard of it,” he said with a dismissive wave of his hand. “I came to Britain to win the championship with my horse, Ligma,” he answered, deepening his voice to sound more important than he was.

“Ligma?” the young man asked, his brow furrowing.

“You know, Ligma. Like--”

Just then, one of the more experienced paparazzi intervened, grabbing the microphone away from Gyro before he could crack his dirty joke. The other paparazzi harshly whispered to the younger one, and they exchanged glances before giving Gyro a distasteful look and walking away. All the while, Gyro was barely containing his laughter, his stomach and chest trembling with the effort. Once they were finally out of earshot, Gyro wouldn't contain himself and erupted into laughter.

You were taken aback by the scene, but you also found it hard to contain your giggles. You waited until the pair had fully adverted their attention from you and Gyro before speaking. “So, was that why they don’t like you?” you asked, still giggling.

“Yep. I always give them bullshit answers. They don’t really care about where you’re from or who you are, you know,” Gyro explained, his tone becoming more somber. “They just want a good show. To be entertained. That’s it.”

The smile had fallen from your face at his explanation. His green eyes scanned over your face before flickering away, his lips pressed into a thin line.

“Is that why you’re here? Do you care, or do you want to be entertained?” he asked, still looking away from you.

You were surprised at the boldness of his question. “Of course, I care. I want to see you guys do well--”

“Even Johnny?”

You furrowed your brow at this. His eyes met yours, his gaze accusatory as he looked you over. “What does that mean? Are you implying that I don’t care about him?” you shot back, your tone growing more defensive with every word. Gyro had always been aloof around you, but never like this. You wracked your brain trying to figure out the reason.

Gyro ignored your response. “You should get back to the stands. The race is gonna start soon, and the coaches aren’t going to be happy that you’re down here.” He fixed his hat while he spoke, the brim coming down to cast a shadow over his face.

Then it hit you as if the thought were a speeding train. Gyro... liked Johnny.

The cogs in your head were whirring a mile a minute, piecing together all of the times that he was unusually protective of Johnny. You thought back to the soft way that he looked at Johnny during riding practice, or the way Gyro ignored you after Johnny had flirted with you. You were going to argue the point, but he was right. The staff members that had initially spied you were now giving you harsh glances, some pointing now. At this point, the paparazzi had released Hot Pants and Johnny from being their hostages and were retreating to other parts of the stadium. You wished all of them good luck before making your way towards the stands, leaving them behind. Gyro’s words still rang in your ears, making your already complicated emotions about the event even more complicated.

You were still quite a bit away from the stands, but you could see Diego entering the stadium as clear as day. The swarm of paparazzi that obscured your view was a good indicator. From the looks of it, he was just arriving. It’s just like him to be fashionably late, you thought to yourself, making a sour face. Cameras began to flash again and interviewers animatedly asked him questions, trying to fit everything in before the tournament began.

“I’m going to come in first place. Just watch me,” you heard him boldly claim, quite loudly at that. This seemed to please the crowd of interviewers, because the volume of their voices increased as they wrapped up the interview. With only minutes before the jockeys had to take their places, the paparazzi finally dispersed. You were much closer now, able to see Diego clearly. His turquoise outfit was as pristine as ever, every detail carefully planned out. The letters on his equestrian helmet shined when he turned his head.

Before he was able to notice you approaching, a short, fat man hobbled out from the stands and down to the track. Diego’s big, showy smile disappeared and was replaced with a solemn look once he laid eyes on him. He froze in his spot. The man was clearly drunk, his hair unkempt and his clothes disheveled. The look of surprise on Diego’s face graduated to boiling anger, his mouth contorting into a sneer. You couldn’t quite hear what was being said, but you knew how his face looked when he was saying something aggressive. The old man responded with twice as much venom, yelling and shaking his fist at the rider. Diego shrunk under his words, but hatred still twisted his face.

Now, you were curious. You stopped just out of earshot from the scene, only close enough to hear the exchange of words.

“God damn it, I’m your father, Diego! A son does what his father tells him to!” the man slurred. Diego cringed, the alcohol on his father’s breath almost too much for him to handle.

“You’re no father of mine. Fuck off, Dario,” he spat.

This pissed off the old man, because he began to howl in rage at his son. “You’re a fucking disgrace, Diego! You’ve always been a disappointment to me and the rest of the family...It’s a damn shame that you don’t give every pound to help your dying mother in the hospital. A real damn shame,” the man--Dario--rambled, parts of his sentence nearly unintelligible from the slurring.

Though, Diego understood every word. The jockey snapped, his fist shooting out and curling into the man’s shirt. He shook the old man, his lips pulled back in a snarl, teeth bared like an animal. “Don’t you FUCKING dare say that! I send everything I have to support her, and you spend it on BOOZE! If there’s anyone here who is a disgrace, it’s you!” Diego shouted, pushing the man away before the violence could escalate any further.

Your mouth was gaping at the scene, unable to believe that the foul-mouthed drunkard was Diego’s father. He was the complete opposite of his son physically, bearing little to no resemblance to him. You couldn’t imagine his dull grey hair being the same shade as Diego’s blond locks. Though, they both had the same burning look of passion behind their eyes. Nonetheless, you continued to listen in.

“It’s no surprise that I smell booze on your breath. Like always,” Diego growled, his voice much calmer now. His blazing anger had turned cold, his words mechanical in quality.

“You’re a horrible child. A worthless waste of space. Win that money and bring it home to me, or you’ll never see your mum again. You hear me?” Dario said, waving a finger in the jockey’s face. Diego bit his lower lip, looking at the ground defeatedly before nodding his head yes. All of the fight left him, his frame deflating significantly. He understood the implications of his father’s words: The little money that Dario did use to help his mother would stop altogether. And then, she would be gone.

“Good. And after this is over, be useful and bring me a pint,” the old man said, taking a swig from the bottle in his hand before hobbling back off towards the stands.

You were completely at a loss. You blinked slowly, unable to believe the horrible sight that you witnessed. Diego was still staring at the ground, the fist that was once in his father’s shirt now clenched at his side. He was still biting his lip, hard, a small trickle of blood flowing down his chin. You felt horrible that he was clearly being abused by his father, but you were on a mission: You had to get to the bottom of why he was mistreating you, why he had ghosted you and threw you to the side like nothing. You had a sneaking suspicion that the treatment from his father was a part of the reason, but you had to know for sure. You decided to be the bigger person and put your thoughts of confrontation on pause. It could wait until after the race.

You approached him uneasily, taking light steps on the dirt like if you stepped too hard, he’d be disturbed. As you approached him, his eyes slowly rose from the ground and met your form. You were wearing a crop top and high-waisted shorts, along with matching shoes. You were beautiful, glowing, so much more confident than the first time he saw you. You proudly allowed your belly to show with your shirt, and the shorts showed off your legs and hugged the curves of your hips perfectly. It was faint, but a bit of makeup dusted your cheeks and kissed your lashes. You were the same, but different somehow. Something had changed in you along the way. If Diego weren’t devastated, he would be enamored by you. Part of him was, despite his pain.

When your gazes locked, you saw a look that you had never seen on Diego before. His eyes were those of a completely broken, desperate person. You had heard enough to know his secrets, and the both of you knew this while you stared silently at each other.

You flub, not sure what to say for a moment. “I… I had no idea,” you said, your voice small and full of hurt.

“I know.” Diego’s jaw was clenched. He didn’t want you to see him like this, so vulnerable and weak. His first instinct was to hide, to get away from you. Your empathetic gaze made feelings rise in him that he didn’t want to be feeling.

“I’m sorry that you have to deal with that…” you said, feeling stuck. “Is that the reason why you wanted to stay away? What your dad said about your mom?” you asked softly, as if you were comforting a child.

The gentle, caring look in your eyes only frustrated Diego further. He looked away, blinking hard and trying to restrain his emotion. He already made the mistake of arguing with Dario in public, which the paparazzi more than certainly saw him do. He wasn’t going to get emotional and have another scene with you, not when he had a race to win and a mother to save. Diego opted for silence, not giving a response and just looking away.

You sighed sadly before taking a step toward him, your hand outstretched. “Please. I need to know. You don’t have to tell me now, but I want to talk about this,” you tried, setting your hand on his shoulder. He promptly shrugged you off with an exasperated noise.

“I don’t want them to see,” Diego said, already turning on his heel and walking away from you. Your feet were moving before you had time to think about it, making you follow him across the dirt.

“That’s fine. But at least tell me after the race,” you implored, your tone growing more desperate. You swallowed, hard, and tried to get yourself together.

He was quiet again, worrying his lip between his teeth as he struggled to hold back all of the things he wanted to say. Diego tried to keep his eye on the ball, focusing on an image of him holding a 10,000 pound sterling check in his hand. Except, the image grew fuzzy in his mind’s eye, and he saw you instead. Your smile. Your eyes. You, choking on cigarette smoke. You, in the back of his car, blushing and looking at him like the most important person in the world.

You sped up, jogging next to his side. He walked faster, leaving you in the dust.

“Why? Why do you keep walking away from me? Every time? You always deflect and you never want to talk about anything. It’s not healthy, Diego,” you said, your voice breaking. “I’ll leave you alone forever if that’s what you want. If you want to talk about this later, just tell me. Communicate with me, please.”

This got Diego’s attention, and he stopped in his tracks.

“Diego, what’s going on? What are we?” you tried one more time before giving up for good. You were well aware that you were crossing the line, but you needed something. Your hand went to his arm, your thumb gently caressing him.

You didn’t expect the furious expression on his face when he whipped around to look at you. Surprised, you took a step back from him, watching his hands curl around nothing at his sides.

“I don’t know!” Diego yelled, ripping his sleeve from your grasp. His eyes were smoldering with anger and fear in their basest forms. He sniffled a bit at the end of his sentence.

You stopped in your tracks, frozen by disbelief. Tears were now freely flowing down Diego’s cheeks, hot and wet and dripping onto the dirt below his feet. “You saw Dario. What an absolutely disgusting, no-good, drunk fucking swine he is,” he said through gritted teeth. “What’s what I deal with. That’s what my mother deals with. He doesn’t love her, doesn’t care if she dies young. That’s why I have to win this race. I have to have that money in my pocket; failure isn’t an option. I don’t know what we are. This wasn’t supposed to happen...” he proclaimed, his tone growing more grave the more that he talked.

I wasn’t supposed to fall for you, he thought to himself, a crease settling into his brow. You were supposed to be a quick fuck. An experiment. That was all. But now look at where we are...

“Now get out of my way.”

Diego clasped the buckle on his helmet, straightening his posture and squaring his shoulders, before walking away from you yet again.

Where you thought you would feel disappointment, you felt numb. You didn’t know what exactly to feel. You turned around and walked towards the stands, the scene below catching the attention of a few audience members. They looked at you curiously as you made your way towards your seat, but you paid no mind to them. Something in your gut told you that this wasn’t over. And, despite everything, you knew who you would be cheering for once the tournament began.

★・・・・・・★

The thundering of hooves on the dirt and the roar of the crowd reverberated in your ears. You watched as the riders were approaching the last lap, many of them bracing themselves for one last push of speed. Many of the jockeys who started in first place had sunk to the back, and others who had restrained themselves were rising to the occasion. Such was the case for your friends and Diego.

Gyro was currently sitting in 5th place, Hot Pants in 4th, Johnny in 2nd, and, surprisingly, Diego in 6th. You nervously watched as Diego bided his time in the back. A shadow was cast over his face from his helmet, and you and the onlookers alike struggled to read his expression. The announcer was going crazy with play-by-plays, calling out so quickly that the words lost their meaning to you. You wanted your friends to win, but you couldn’t help but cheer for Diego on the inside.

Johnny’s horse was speeding ahead of the contender in first place, the red-headed woman yelling a profanity at him and shooting him a dirty look. She maneuvered her horse to the side, trying to throw him off balance, but Johnny was quick. He swerved, avoiding the collision, and zipped past her into first place.

“Johnny Joestar has taken the lead! Can he keep this up? Do we have the winner?!” the announcer boomed, riling up the crowd. They all clapped and shouted, the sounds making your head buzz. The smell of alcohol was also heavy in the air and it didn’t help the knot that settled in your stomach. You hoped that Dario wasn't sitting nearby.

What are you doing, Diego? You thought to yourself, making a “tsk” sound under your breath.

Hot Pants surprised you next, overtaking the 3rd place racer and claiming their place. There were only a few meters left, and you began to sweat as the end of the race approached.

Suddenly, you heard a gasp from the audience. You flicked your eyes over to the back riders and saw what the audience had seen. Diego was jetting past the other racers, taking 5th, 4th, and 3rd like nothing. You found yourself scooting to the edge of your seat, your hands gripping the edge of the stands hard enough to make your palms white.

Diego was steady for a moment, riding next to Hot Pants, almost as if he was taunting her. Down on the track, he flashed her a cocky grin before snatching 2nd place away from her. Now, he was right behind Johnny, the two riders only a few feet away from each other. The announcer was hollering his head off, but silence settled over your ears. You watched them, side by side, sweat flying off of the both of them.

Johnny looked to his side, his brow furrowed, his upper lip curled in concentration. Diego’s eyes flashed as they locked gazes, a thousand words being exchanged from one intense look. Johnny pressed on, encouraging Slow Dancer to give everything that she had. Diego’s own horse still had a bit left in her, and, with an expert maneuver from her rider, Diego cut perfectly in front of Johnny, making Slow Dancer falter.

You gasped, you hands gripping the metal edge of the stands even harder. For a split second, Johnny’s horse lost her balance, stumbling, but he pulled hard on her reigns and recentered her. By then, it was too late, and Diego was several paces ahead of him, the finish line within his reach. Your heart raced as you watched him, you jumped to your feet and leaned in as close as you could, unable to look away.

“AND THERE HE GOES!” the announcer howled, the entire stadium screaming at the top of their lungs. The moment that Silver Bullet crossed the finish line happened almost in slow-motion. You could see the exact moment that her hoof touched the dirt right over the line, how the beast’s muscles ripped under her hide as she carried them both to victory. Diego was almost standing, braced so forwardly that he almost flew off the horse when they passed the finish line. You could feel the breeze ruffling your hair as he jetted past you.

And just like that, it was all over. Johnny wasn’t far behind him, and neither were Hot Pants and Gyro. Your heart was beating at a million miles a minute, and you couldn’t help but break into a huge smile and join the crowd in their cheering. You cheered until your throat grew hoarse and scratchy, until you couldn’t produce sound any longer.

Diego’s face was broken out in a toothy smile as his horse slowed. “We have our winner! Give it up for Diego Brando!” Everyone did accordingly, many whooping and hollerings taking place. Cheers still sounded off for the rest of the participants, and even though they were dejected, many were still happy to have made it in the top ten. Diego did a victory lap around the stadium, cameras going off like crazy and admirers reaching over the barrier for a chance to be close to the celebrity. He waved, a grin still dancing on his lips while he rode the high of being the winner. You could see from your seat the rise and fall of his chest as he drew in ragged breaths, trying to calm himself down from the excitement.

Slowly, you sat down, your hands stilling from the abundance of clapping. Even as you sat, you were still beaming uncontrollably. You couldn’t help but feel proud of him, to be happy for him at this moment, even though you knew that the happiness was only temporary.

#diego brando x reader #johnny joestar x gyro zeppeli #tutor me #jjba #not sfw #my work #chubby reader #cw alcoholism #hurt and comfort

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365days365movies · 4 years ago

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January 11, 2021: Come Drink with Me (1966)

Wuxia.

Wuxia in an of itself is a form of fiction, highlighting martial arts. You always know a wuxia film when you see it. Like your more traditional kung fu/martial arts film, it usually focuses on one or a few protagonists facing enemies using the martial arts skills. However, wuxia is...different.

First of all, most wuxia take place in ancient China, or during periods of high conflict. Second of all, wuxia heroes are usually independent agents, not working for anyone in particular, but still with a personal code of honor. And thirdly, at least when talking about film...it’s kind of hard to explain. It’s more of a visual thing. See, look:

And yeah, I put Kung Fu Panda 2 in there, SUE ME IT’SWUXIAINSPIRED!!!!

Ahem.

To be fair, wuxia’s been a little Flanderized over the years, with the slow-motion, bold color palettes, and non-existent physics eventually taking over as genre-staples. If you’d like some proof of that, have no fear. That’s the point of today’s movie, King Hu’s 1966 classic Come Drink with Me.

Fun fact, by the way, if you search “wuxia” in the Tumblr gifs engine, this is the first one that comes up! Fitting, since this is considered one of the greatest Hong Kong movies of all time, was nominated for a Foreign Language Film Oscar. Additionally, it’s often considered the seminal wuxia film by many. Which is why I’m watching it! And yeah, there are other wuxia films on my list this month, but I really wanted to see this one first.

OK, let’s do it! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

Two prisoners are being escorted through a field by a large party of soldiers, when a man, Jade-Faced Tiger (Chan Hung-lit), blocks the path. He gives a letter to the warden in charge, and the soldiers attack the man in white and his cohorts. They quickly lose, and a battle ensues. And for a movie in the ‘60s, it’s surprisingly brutal and bloody. The group of bandits kidnaps the warden, Master Chang.

They torture the warden to discover where their leader’ll be taken. Chang is the governor’s son, making him a valuable hostage to exchange for their leader. They have nothing to fear...except for Golden Swallow, whomever that is.

We cut to a village, where a young woman is seated at a table in an inn. She works for the Governor, and is seeking information on Chang. She speaks with one of the bandit leaders, and reveals that Chang is her brother. It also turns out that this is Golden Swallow (Cheng Pei-pei), and the bandits decide that it’s time to kill her.

And it is at this point, where the English dub REALLY got to me. It’s uh...it’s bad, you guys. IT IS SO BAD. And, yeah, it’s probably because I’m not used to dubs, but I needed the subbed version SO MUCH. So, I searched far and wide, and finally found the subbed version in Mandarin. Man, it is SO much better, Jesus.

Oof. Anyway, even the bad dub can’t distract me from the coolness of this scene, as Golden Swallow takes on this bar of bandits, led by Smiling Tiger (Lee Wan-chung). After defeating them handily in an cool fight, Smiling Tiger leaves, stating that they will kill the hostage in 5 days if their leader isn’t returned.

Meanwhile, the bandits are staying at a Shaolin temple, where they KILL A CHILD. No joke, a kid dies in this scene, and the bandits laugh about it.

Meanwhile, a drunk beggar from earlier barges into Golden Swallow’s quarters as she retires for the night, asking to stay with her. I should mention, by the way, that she’s been referred to by male pronouns for the entire movie at this point, even though she’s clearly female. I’m assuming that’s an honorific thing that I’m unfamiliar with, but I figured I’d mention it. MOVING ON.

She chases the beggar away in a neat little chase sequence, then goes back to her quarters. Turns out that the beggar interrupting her was a good thing, as she was about to be ambushed in her sleep, and she takes on her would-be attackers. Morning comes, and the Beggar’s singing to the patrons of the inn about his lifestyle.

Golden Swallow attempts to thank the beggar, who introduces himself as Drunken Cat (Yueh Hua). He mostly ignores her thanks, then asks for money in exchange for another song. He sings another song, in which he sings...about the bandits. Sending a message directly to Swallow. Realizing Cat’s usefulness, Swallow tries to confide in him and ask for help. However, the Cat doesn’t even seem truly aware of his own usefulness, and brushes Swallow off. However, in one last song, he sings about a Chinese character, which means temple. Yeah. He tells Swallow the location of the bandits THROUGH THE SONG. That’s pretty goddamn cool.

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Which is why it’s AMAZING that the English dub I was originally listening to DOESN’T TRANSLATE OR DUB THE SONGS. DO. NOT. WATCH. THE ENGLISH DUB. I CANNOT stress this enough.

Swallow makes her way to the temple, and...is referred to as a woman by the bandits when they confront her. Wait...It’s not an honorific thing? Do the Beggar and Bandits think that Golden Swallow is actually a man? DESPITE ALL EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY? Huh. Sexism in action, I guess.

Anyway, the bandits all gather together in the temple to fight her, and it’s awesome. She goes up against Jade-Faced Tiger directly, as well as a few more, yeah, GODDAMN is it cool.

Should be noted, by the way, that this is before a lot of widespread wire-work and some of the more sensational wuxia trends that you see in more modern films. Still, this is pretty great, and actually...this is what I wanted from live-action Mulan. Real talk. If we got more like this movie in last year’s travesty, I’d be all in for it.

One-on-one against Jade-faced Tiger in the courtyard of the temple! Blood’s shed, hair is cut, and Cat returns as a mysterious benefactor for Swallow, tossing a sword back to her and throwing off the archers. But at the end, Jade hits her with a poisoned dart as she escapes.

She doesn’t make it far, and faints in the forest When she comes to, she’s in the care of Drunken Cat. She blames him for setting a trap, but he blames her for rushing in too early, eager to show off her prowess. There’s more to Cat than meets the eye, it would seem.

Still not doing great, Swallow remains in the care of Cat, who eventually reveals that he’s a master of kung fu, not just a random singing drunk. He easily and immediately takes down some intruders, LIKE THAT.

Cat disguises himself as a drunk beggar, and delivers the bodies to the temple, claiming that Swallow herself took them down. But this ruse fails when Abbot Liao Kung (Yeung Chi-hung) from Cat’s temple appears, confirming that he’s the kung fu master that killed these men. He also reveals that his true name is Fan Da-Pei, the Drunken Hero. He stole the bamboo pole of the original leader of his temple, and is considered a traitor by the abbot.

As they go to kill Cat (yeah, still calling him Cat), he’s already escaped his guard. We see him back at the temple, where he does this:

He’s an Earthbender.

After doing more cool kung fu tricks (MOOOOORE), he reveals that the Abbot is evil, and that he killed their old teacher for the bamboo staff that Cat stole. Additionally, he’s much stronger than him, AND once did Cat a huge favor. This makes Cat feel both inferior and indebted to him, complicating things.

Despite this, Cat agrees to help negotiate for Chang’s release, in exchange for the release of their leader. He also encounters the Abbot, and the two set up a time for them to settle their score.

Prisoner exchange time! Ah, but it’s rigged in the Governor’s favor, as Cat betrays the bandits to keep their leader imprisoned, while getting Chang back. Which, obviously, the bandits are pissed about. They ambush Swallow and the governor’s procession by firing arrows and CRUSHING THEM WITH ROCKS.

Also, just want to note that the guard around the bandit leader is primarily female. Alongside the female protagonist, I’m surprised that Tumblr’s slept so hard on this movie! Seriously, the women kick ass here.

Golden Swallow outdoes them all, though, and absolutely wrecks the Tigers and the rest of the head bandits. Just as he’s about to finish Jade-Faced Tiger, the Abbot heads her off, and is...stab-proof? Kung fu, man. He outclasses her, but our man Cat shows up in the nick of time!

Surprisingly, though, the Abbot’s defeated pretty quickly. Cat spared his life, then returns to his home. BUT THE ABBOT WAS FAKING! He comes back for revenge, and the two have a quick airbending sesh.

They destroy Cat’s home in the woods (which was very cute, by the way), and after a much longer and bloodier fight, Cat kills the Abbot. And man, lemme tell you, that’s a fight to watch too.

Golden Swallow leaves with her female warriors, and Cat and his kids watch them ride off.

And that’s Come Drink With Me! Awesome. Definitely more understated than many of the movies I’ve seen this month, but also a great classic film! We gotta bring more attention to this one, Tumblr. If was HAAAAAAARD to find GIFs for this one. Thanks, @martialartsactionclub, you bodied this one.

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danganronpa-omegaverse · 6 years ago

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Well that's fine! Don't worry too much. Personally I like Ishimondo and Soudam the most and I possible, maybe first impressions and during the courting process for both?

Ishimondo:

Mondo is an alpha through and through, but Taka’s one of those characters whose secondary gender I tend to change around to suit the scenario. For ishimondo, I quite like alpha Taka. I find alpha/alpha to be a really interesting dynamic and I think it adds an extra layer to their relationship.

Taka is nothing if not a stickler for the rules, and Mondo is nothing if not a rule-breaker. Add the fact that they’re both hot-blooded teenage alphas, and you get two people who butted heads a lot.

Mondo tries pretty damn hard to provoke Taka into a proper fight to establish dominance. Unfortunately for him, Taka is too respectful of the school’s rules to engage in any kind of posturing or dominance display, so Mondo just gets thrown in detention a few times.

Meanwhile, the rest of the class is busy noticing that the two actually have a fair bit in common, even if they won’t admit it.

It ends up being Junko who locks them in a room to either kill each other or make friends, whichever happens first. Much to the surprise of everyone, they end up going from mortal enemies to best bros practically overnight.

Courtship was clumsy, to say the least. There are no guidelines on how two alphas should court each other, so there was a lot of awkward fumbling.

What they settled on was a lot less formal than traditional courtship, but it worked well for them as individuals. Rather than follow a baffling (and frankly outdated) set of rules on appropriate gifting and whatnot, they just get whatever they think the other will like and do whatever they find enjoyable.

When Mondo introduces Taka to the Crazy Diamonds, they’re at first taken aback by Taka. Shouldn’t an alpha like Mondo be dating a sweet omega rather than an equally stubborn alpha? Seeing how much Mondo loves Taka though, they learn to like him as well.

Taka’s family is less approving. They think that alpha/alpha pairs are doomed to fail because they’ll clash too much, and that no one will take Taka seriously as a politician unless he mates an omega or a beta female. They don’t do anything to actually threaten their relationship, but they’re not subtle about their disapproval either.

Honestly, they’re one heck of a power couple.

Soudam:

I’ve read An Idiot in Love way too many times to headcanon Gundham as anything other than an alpha and Kazuichi as anything other than an omega, tbh.

Gundham doesn’t have much of an opinion on Kazuichi initially, other than thinking of him as that mechanic classmate with pink hair.

Kazuichi, however, thinks he’s weird and pretentious. What the hell does Gundham mean, ‘Overlord of Ice’? What is he, trying to cosplay some obscure edgy shounen protagonist?

It only gets worse when Gundham and Sonia becomes friends over their shared interest in dark magic. Kazuichi now thinks of Gundham as the guy who’s trying to steal his crush, and Gundham thinks of Kazuichi as the guy who won’t stop harassing his friend.

It only starts to resolve when someone tries to tease Gundham about his “relationship” with Sonia and he very confusedly replies that no, there’s nothing romantic between him and Sonia, where did they get that idea? Knowing that Gundham doesn’t like Sonia means Souda doesn’t hate him anymore, though he still thinks Gundham is weird and possibly delusional.

After some time of being utterly fed up with Souda, Sonia asks Gundham to tell him to knock it off. This ends up being what gets them actually talking to each other, because once Souda gets his head around the fact that he’s been kind of a dick he asks for Gundham’s help on befriending Sonia. Not romancing her, just apologising and trying to be friends with her.

They end up being pretty good friends once they get past their initial rough stage.

Their courtship is pretty casual. The traditional courting rules are more used as guidelines than actual rules, since neither of them have any vested interest in tradition beyond it being easier than figuring it all out themselves.

EDIT: Argh, I meant to save this as a draft! Dammit, mobile tumblr. Please wait while I write up the headcanons.

EDIT 2: It’s done! After having to restart once, because Freaking Mobile Tumblr. @/staff fix your goddang app

#ishimondo #kiyotaka ishimaru #mondo oowada #dr1 #soudam #kazuichi souda #gundham tanaka #sdr2 #headcanons #ask #kira nightingale #ship headcanons #courting headcanons #mod voce

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travllingbunny · 6 years ago

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The 100 rewatch: 1x02 Earth Skills

I’m a new fan of The 100, who first binged it last year, August to November. This is my first full rewatch of the show. I was planning to start it anyway and finish it before the season 6 premiere on April 30, and when I saw that Fox Serbia was airing a rerun (Monday to Friday, 40 min. after midnight, with repeats the next day), starting on 1st February, it was a great opportunity to start my rewatch in HDTV on my beautiful new TV. I decided to do write-ups and tag other fans on SpoilerTV website, as I did when I was first watching the show. But my posts turned into full blown essays. So, finally, after over a week, I’ve realized: Why don’t I post them on my Tumblr blog, too? I’ll copy my write-ups of the first 7 episodes, and then I’ll post my rewatch posts after I watch each episode. (The next one, 1x08, is on Monday’Tuesday.)

Spoilers below for all 5 seasons of the show. I go of on a tangents and make a lot of references to future events.

...........................

The first 2 episodes of season 1 are its weakest, just as I remember them. But initially I thought episode 1x02 was worse - I had mixed feelings about the Pilot, but then really disliked the second episode. This time, however, the Pilot was much worse than I remembered it, while this episode was... well, pretty much the same, but I enjoyed it more this time. Because, when I first watched the Pilot, I focused on all the new info on the show's premise, the setting, the universe, the SciFi stuff, and pretty much ignored all the cringey early teen soapy stuff (which I didn't even remember). But then the second episode came, and all the cringey teen soapy stuff in that episode just came right at me and annoyed the heck out of it. So this time, I already remembered it, so I could focus on other things.

BTW, I need to have good laugh at the often stated claim that The 100 doesn't focus on romance or do much romance or set up ships. The show does romance all the time. There are ships all over the place, but most of them pretty much suck, especially since most of them are poorly written insta-romances. And these early episodes are full of various romances and potential romances, and love triangles (which some people say the show has stopped doing... except it never did - *cough season 5 *cough* - but at least it scaled back on it a bit).

Now don't misunderstand me - I don't mind that there's a lot of that, what I did mind is how badly all of that was written in these early episodes. Later, the show did lose most of its early CW-ness and start doing romantic plots better, in some cases at least. (But it also started doing them even worse, in some other cases.)

Rating: 4.5/10

First introduction of Raven, and she immediately shows that she's smart, capable and awesome. At this point, she seems almost perfect, but we know she was just initially meant to be a temporary supporting character and romantic obstacle for Finn/Clarke. We find out that she's the youngest zero G engineer in 52 years. She's also the first person to figure out that the Delinquents aren't dying, but simply taking their trackers off. How come this never crossed the minds of any of the Ark leaders? They came off a bit dumb here.

First meaningful interactions between Abby and Raven - the start of their friendship/pseudo-mother daughter relationship. Abby enlists Raven to fix an old escape pod so she(Abby) could get to the ground. Raven insists she will go, too, since she also has a loved one there. Multiple mentions of her boyfriend, and I can now see the big hints with the origami that Finn is that boyfriend. I missed that the first time, which is lucky, or I would have hated this episode even more, for trying to set up more than one annoying insta-love-triangle involving Finn and Clarke. I think this is the first time we get a mention of a year? But not the year when the show takes place. The escape pod is a 130 year old piece of junk that was found when they rescued MIR-3 in 2102. At least that gives us an idea of what century it is. ( The 100 wiki has a timeline and says the year is 2149, IIRC, but I don't know where that info is from.) I remember that Clarke, Abby and Raven were my favorite characters by far, followed by Monty, and pretty much the only characters I really liked (I was intrigued by Bellamy, and to a lesser extent Octavia, but I didn't exactly like them), since they were the only characters doing smart and good and pragmatic stuff and trying to save people. Then later, during season 1, Raven fell down a few places in my rankings, because I was so frustrated with her moping over Finn. Well, Wells was OK, but I didn't like some things they were doing with him here. One of the things I remembered best from this episode is that it clumsily tried to set up a Wells/Clarke/Finn love triangle, and that it made me roll my eyes so much. And for whatever reason, Bellamy was the one to talk about it to Wells and go on about how Clarke supposedly doesn't see Wells next to Finn, blah blah. Octavia isn't the only Blake with cringey dialogue anymore. Sorry, I'm gonna go on a mini-rant. Why was it necessary for the show to imply that Wells was in love with Clarke? You know how some people claim that the show is so into platonic male/female friendships (which somehow always is all about Clarke and Bellamy, because other male and female characters on the show aren't ever friends or something)? Yeah, right. Clarke and Wells were BFFs from childhood, grew up together - if you're looking for a "sibling-like" relationship between people on the show who are not related, that's the closest thing to it, but apparently, Wells couldn't have done all those sacrifices for Clarke if he wasn't in love with her. Right? But Clarke only sees him as a BFF, and he is so important to her... that the show had her mourn him for about 10 minutes in episode 4 after he was killed, and then never mention him again. If they ever actually wanted a great completely platonic, sibling-like close relationship between a man and a woman, that was a great opportunity. But they obviously didn't care. And speaking of people who grew up together and refer to each other as family, so they would therefore fit the idea of sibling-like relatively well (unlike Clarke and Bellamy, who didn't even know each other or interact with each other till they were 23 and almost 18, respectively)... well, there's also Finn and Raven. Who are also boyfriend and girlfriend. Kinda weird. I wonder when the writers decided to kill of Wells. I think it definitely was only after this episode, because this episode spends a lot of time building up Wells as a heroic character and setting up that love triangle that never goes anywhere, because Wells dies in 1x03. I think that, if the writers were at all planning an "endgame" (though I hate that word) love interest for Clarke, it was probably Wells at this point, because I don't think they were considering Bellamy that way at this point, and Finn, while clearly meant as the initial love interest, has False Romantic Lead written all over him. I sometimes wonder what the show would look like if they hadn't killed off Wells. I think Finn's "peacemaker" role in season 1b was probably planned for Wells. But I'm really relieved that we didn't get a love triangle that's all "Unlucky Childhood Friend/nice guy in unrequited love with a girl who is into another guy who is charming but kind of a jerk/cheater, until she finally realizes he's the one for her", because I hate that trope so much. Sorry, Finn lovers, if any of you are reading this - but Finn comes off even worse on rewatch than he did when I watched it the first time. He was always a guy who's just there and whose only interest seemed to be following Clarke around and flirting with her, but his time I'm noticing things like, even when he does good things, he only does them after he's realized Clarke would like him to do it, and tries to make himself look good and be the guy that she needs in her life. When I first watched this, I just had profound indifference towards him, which grew into active annoyance in this episode. And I didn't even realize at the time that he had a girlfriend on the Ark. Or that, after Clarke shamed him for not wanting to come and help rescue Jasper, he only changed his mind and came after Clarke had made Bellamy join the rescue party. My annoyance was initially mostly because of the scene where they are on the way to finding Jasper and saving him, and Finn decides to instead convince Clarke that she's wound up too tight and should just relax and they should splash each other with water. Which would be OK, if Jasper wasn't potentially dying. Priorities? And there was also his pop psychology where he tells Clarke that she is so desperate to save Jasper because she couldn't save her father, and we're obviously supposed to see it as super--meaningful. Is it just me that thinks that wanting to save people in general, and especially those you know, is a normal human reaction? Which is why Clarke was the character I immediately liked and related to. And also why this scene annoyed me so much. My feelings on it are exactly the same now, except maybe now I'm not sure that the show ever even meant for the Finn/Clarke pairing to be seen as an especially good one. Meanwhile, it seems that the show staff had realized between the Pilot and the second episode that Bob was super hot, so now Bellamy gets to be shirtless and with ruffled hair that looks much better on him, and is just friendly parting from some random Delinquent girl he's had sex with and who never appears again. I guess the casual sex (and later threesomes) were supposed to be a part of his 'bad boy' persona, since it pretty much stopped once the show started making him into a more heroic figure. Even though there's actually nothing wrong about single people having casual sex for pleasure, so it's not like that marks him as 'bad'. (The show, however, seemed less judgy about casual sex in later seasons, so I don't know.) However, he does a lot of other thing in this episode that are actually bad, like making the kids take off their wristbands so they'll have food, or acting dictator-like ("I will not be disobeyed") and over-protective of Octavia, including punishing Atom for making out with her. I didn't hate Bellamy early on as many did, but he frustrated me a lot, and was definitely at his most annoying in 1x02. However, I always had a lot of leeway for both him and Octavia, no matter how annoying they acted at this point, because of their backstory. And now I can even understand his over-protectiveness a bit better, knowing hat happened the last time he tried to let Octavia enjoy life. Much of the episode was about Octavia trying to find a guy to make out with, and specifically trying to make Atom (the guy Bellamy charged with protecting her). make out with her. She's being a huge brat at this point, but it's understandable - she was isolated, under the floor and locked up, all her life, and now she wants to be free and enjoy it. One interesting moment is when she told Atom: "Wall won't stop what's out there, we need weapons" - which is the first time she sounded like later Octavia. But her later love of fighting also makes sense for her character - fighting, especially with bare hands or cold weapons, is an energetic activity that produces an adrenaline rush, kind of like sex/making out. The scene where she chases butterflies in the woods and then makes out with Atom was one of the most visually beautiful. It looked very romantic, in the sense of enjoying life and nature. Not in the sense of actual romance, unless by 'romance' one means 'making out with a random person you met a day ago and barely know.' But to be fair, even Octavia's upcoming big OTP romance with Lincoln began with little more than physical attraction, and she knew him even less than Atom by the time they hooked up. The best interactions Ocfavia had in the episode were with Monty - the start of one of the better, underrated m/f genuinely platonic friendships on the show. This exchange was quite interesting: Monty: "Living under the floor all your life, it's amazing that you're not a complete basket case". Octavia: "Who says I'm not?" Monty was really cool in this episode - while Octavia was having some drama with Atom and some other guy, he was like "quiet, guys, I'm working" and was just calmly working on trying to make radio communications with the Ark possible. A bit more backstory on him and Jasper: they obviously have known each other for a long time, and Monty compares his relationship with Jasper to the Blakes, saying that Jasper may not actually be his brother but they are just as close. However, the Blakes aren't really like a regular sibling relationship, it's one of those sibling relationships (like Katniss/Prim in The Hunger Games) where the elder sibling had to grow up early and take care of the younger, so it's more like a parent/child relationship. Which is really one of the main problems of their relationship - Bellamy sees Octavia almost as his child and is extremely protective and sacrificial (the way we otherwise see parents act towards their children in The 100), and Octavia is constantly rebelling against him as kids rebel against authority. First significant interaction between Monty and Clarke, too. When Wells and Monty volunteer to save Jasper, Clarke tells Monty to stay behind because he's too important for the group's survival - he was raised on a Farm station, trained as an engineer. "food and communications. What's up here (*touches his head*) is going to save us all". (And how right she was!) That's some good, smart, pragmatic thinking - and she also managed to convince him without having to say that he also wouldn't be the most useful in a fight. I notice so many gender stereotypes in how the characters are written in these early episodes, more than the show usually has afterwards. Jasper and Monty were constantly talking about impressing girls in the Pilot, Jasper thought Finn had "game", and in this episode, we constantly have women shaming men into doing things by implying they would look weak or cowardly otherwise. Octavia tries to make Atom let her make out with guys/make out with her by saying he would be her brother's "bitch" otherwise (when did she learn to talk like that? I guess, during those two-three days on Earth?). Clarke tells Finn how disappointed she is that he refuses to join the rescue party, calling him a coward. (Though Monty shames Finn, too, saying "Jasper looked up to you". Which doesn't mean much, since the reason Jasper looked up to him is because he thought Finn was good at impressing girls.) And then Clarke makes Bellamy join the rescue party by implying he will look scared in front of the others/less brave than she is, otherwise (though that was more about Bellamy having to maintain authority in the group - which he needs for his own reasons), Then Bellamy enlists his sidekick Murphy to come, too. Murphy: "What are we doing? I didn't think we were in the rescuing business." Oh, you have no idea. The interactions between Bellamy and Clarke in this episode were quite interesting. I didn't ship them at this point, but I know now that some people already did, and I can see why. The scenes where they are into each other's faces and being antagonistic... well, this is the scene where Clarke says she will never take off the wristband, and Bellamy calls her "Brave princess" sarcastically (?):

What are you doing here, Bellamy? If he means to try to be snarky or antagonistic, he's not doing a good job, because "Brave princess" is not an insult, it sounds like he's impressed by her. (Which he probably is, though I'm not sure he's aware of it yet.) I'm sure he thinks she should hate her, because she is making things difficult for him and she's one of the privileged high class people from the Ark. That's what Bellamy means, at least at first, when he calls her "princess" - he's not using that nickname to flirt with her, like Finn. At least, I'm sure he does't mean to flirt. But... he kind of looks like he's flirting. I think, at this point, he's really, really confused.

And that's exactly the moment when Finn comes along, finally having decided to join the party, and says "Come up with your own nickname". Finn seems very possessive over... that nickname.

Later when they find Jasper, he gets all take-chargey and tells Wells to keep an eye on Bellamy, and Murphy to come help him take Jasper down from the tree. I can't help but think of another, far less successful and very unfortunate rescue mission, in season 2, where Murphy will also end up as Finn's reluctant sidekick.

I love the way that Bellamy acts like he's so ruthless (which he probably believes himself to be, much more than he actually is), when he tells Murphy he will take Clarke's wristband off even if he has to cut off her arm to do it...but then later, when she almost falls into the pit full of spikes, he instinctively grabs her arm and saves her life - and then has the look on his face "What did I just do? What am I doing? Why I am doing this?" He really is confused.

Early season 1 Bellamy is such a hot mess. Kind of like Clarke will end up being a hot mess in season 5, and similarly impulsive, emotionally damaged and preoccupied with just protecting their "child" while ignoring the big picture, while season 1 Clarke/season 5 Bellamy are acting pragmatically while trying to save everybody. They've really switched roles. And I expect season 6 Bellamy to help Clarke to get back to who she used to be, just as Clarke helped him find himself in season 1.

I love the song "Can't Pretend" by Tom Odell, which closes this episode. (I'll be seeing him in concert in a week.) But I didn't initially even notice it in the episode - I only paid attention to it when I saw some The 100 fanvideos with it. It's too emotional and the lyrics don't really fit either of the rather shallow romances (Finn/Clarke and Octavia/Atom) whose scenes it covers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUmtXzuSGu8

#The 100 #the 100 rewatch #the 100 1x02 #earth skills #clarke griffin #bellamy blake #octavia blake #monty green #raven reyes #abby griffin #wells jaha

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lizzybeth1986 · 6 years ago

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Quick Thoughts on DD Book 1 Chapter 4

• Jesus, this book is expensive.

• Like I assumed Chapter 3's one accomplishment-one-or-two-LIs-or-a-family-member thing would be a one-off, just to introduce us into the system/ease us into the story, but no...they've (sort of) repeated it this chapter. I was hoping they would spread out the accomplishments at least, but perhaps they want us to have at least most of the accomplishments worked out before we leave for London.

• I really hope this doesn't become a regular thing because it will only cause players to lose interest in the books for lack of affordability, in the long run. As it is the book largely caters to a niche audience...alienating that audience by having them lose of on half the story won't bode well for the book.

• Title: Best Foot Forward. Man, this one is easy. Of course it refers to dancing. And quite a lot of dancing is done this chapter, that's for sure!

• Sooo...the Earl has decided to introduce us into society in Edgewater with a garden party. Lots of hobnobbing, some dancing, a few games and you meet at least one 'suitor'.

• Did You Know: According to writer and garderner Kim Wilson, who wrote a book titled In the Garden with Jane Austen, gardens were viewed as markers of social status. In an interview with The Scotsman, she says, "each family's garden reflected not only their needs but, if they had enough money, their social aspirations". The poor cottagers of the time were mostly concerned with growing food and having a place to keep their chickens whereas wealthier families would have had kitchen gardens, but also often extensive pleasure grounds, which were places to display their wealth and taste. (from an article about Jane Austen's love for gardens in The Scotsman).

• Last chapter had us learning (optionally) the art of the fan from our Lady Grandmother, so it makes sense that what happens in this chapter is this:

Lololol just kidding.

• So the chapter begins with the MC and Briar talking. Briar is excited about the fact that a Duke (who, she reminds us, is "one step below a Prince Regent"), and the MC can either choose to be excited or very confident. Interestingly, if you're excited, she reminds you to "not forget your roots", which I think is a recurring theme in this book. After all, that was the last thing the MC's mother told her on her deathbed.

• Dominique enters the room and both she and Briar present us with a pretty pink lace dress that is sure to improve both our social standing and catch everyone's eye at this introductory garden party.

• It looks quite pretty, actually. But that's because I love lace.

• We head downwards, finding Annabelle performing for herself in the foyer and having a thoroughly good time.

• I'm wondering if I should have a tally for the number of times she says "a thousand pardons" (and for the record, I think her way of saying "fiddlesticks" is adorable xD).

• Our third "accomplishment" (and our second paid one) is presented to us here: dancing. It's not like the MC doesn't know dancing - she does - it's that the country dances (this might be a reference to the English Country Dances that were popular among all classes) are different from the ones Annabelle has learned, and indeed the popular ones for the aristocracy that are coming in from other places, like France.

• Annabelle mentions a couple of dances that were popular for its time: the cotillion (originated from France), the Quadrille (also from France), and La Boulanger (also French). If we choose the shoes the Lady Grandmother got made for us, Annabelle wastes no time in teaching us the last one.

• Annabelle speaks to us about the Quadrille being new. She isn't lying. The Quadrille became fashionable in England around 1815.

• Again, the good thing about the accomplishment scenes is that they're meant only for learning the skill, and Annabelle can develop in her individual scenes independent of this. Though I'm not sure if cramming both her individual scenes and her accomplishment scenes in the same chapter, two chapters in a row is a very good idea.

• Another marker of how new the MC is, lies in her interaction with Mr Woods (who is perhaps the only member of the housing staff we see at the party. Briar disappears completely after she's done her work of getting the MC ready, and Luke doesn't appear either). Mr Woods is surprised the MC deigns to speak to him in public, and Henrietta uses her interaction with him to point out how little she fits in, what with talk of the MC's "roots".

• Lol the exchange with the Earl if you bought the scene with the Lady Grandmother is quite funny haha. He speaks about Dominique drilling him into learning the names of all the families and the MC - saucy little shit that she is 😄 - looks at her fan and says "oddly enough, I know exactly what you mean".

• Ernest Sincliare makes his appearance after two chapters, and there's some banter about compliments if you're wearing the pretty lace dress I think. She teases him about it and he retorts that since he passes compliments so rarely, you can be sure that when he does he means every word. I can see that logic in that, Sinclair, but must you look like a child who has accidentally sucked on a particularly sour lemon when you do? 😂

• Throughout the chapter, you get references to the Season in London, and each time the MC by default takes it for granted that she will not be going there. Sinclaire hosts parties in London, Annabelle Parsons will be going there for the Season. Up until the end of the chapter, the vibe given overall is that she won't be seeing the two for a while now that they will be leaving Edgewater, and she won't.

• Did You Know: The London Season was developed to coincide with the sitting of parliament. During the months when parliament was in session, members of both Houses needed to be in attendance in London and came to the capital bringing their families with them. The London season grew up in response to this influx of upper class people who needed to be entertained.

Amanda Foreman, in her biography on Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire, stated: "the aristocratic "season" came into existence not only to further the marriage market but to entertain the upper classes while they carried out their political duties. The season followed the rhythm of Parliament: it began in late October with the opening of the new session, and ended in June with the summer recess.” of course, later on this period of time gradually began to shift.

There also seems to be something called the "little season", but that seems more a fixture of the Victorian age than the Regency one (as mentioned in the article on the London Season from the Regency History website).

• The Earl and Mr Sinclaire share a more than cordial relationship: the Earl treats him with considerable warmth and Sinclaire shows a genuine respect and regard for him. You have a choice of asking him whether it is the Earl - or you - he has respect for (and the second option leads to a romantic moment), but it is what he says about the Earl, and his later interaction with Duke Richards that intrigues me:

What happened to Ledford Park that the Sinclaires almost lost it? Why does his statement towards the Duke about Ledford sound so accusatory? Why is there such a strong undercurrent within the latter interaction? I want to know what the story behind Ledford Park is, and how the Earl helped save it.

• One of my favourite Sinclaire-related sequences is an additional scene featuring the fan, as taught to us by the Dowager Countess the previous chapter. I tried the last two with Florence, the MC who has no interest in Sinclaire:

(the first four screenshots are from the "friends" option, and the next four from the "go away u suck" option)

Meanwhile, Marianne just goes in for the kill, fam. Homegirl didn't learn all those thot moves from Grandma for nothing 😄

I do like that extra bit of sexual tension in this scene. I'm not very into Sinclaire yet, but I can see the appeal he'd have for someone who would want the Mr Darcy type of Regency male LI character. You also see a fair bit of it in the scene where the MC asks him if it is her he respects:

• Sinclaire, dude, what is it with you and Italics??

• We now interrupt our regular programme with a game of Skittles. I'm not sure how many of you assumed Regency-era aristocrats were going to start passing around fruit-flavoured candy but I sure did 😂

• So this is skittles, played with nine pins. Very much one of the precursors to present day bowling from what I've read. Playing this game, and beating a champion like Mr Sinclaire at it will not only allow you to spend time alone with him, but also increase your social standing.

• It's simple enough: hit the red pin in the centre, and if you want you can distract the hell out of Sinclaire after he's fired his first shot.

• Twice this chapter, you see our resident comic relief for the day: Miss Theresa Oh-My-Smelling-Salts Sutton, and Mr Edmund Do-I-Look-Like-I-Care Malcaster, and I've decided I like them both (I wanted to add screenshots, but tumblr mobile sucks and won't let me put up more than ten images 😒)

• So we meet the "handsome", "titled" eligible bachelor our Lady Grandmother wanted us so badly to marry and...

...um. lol. ok.

Handsome? Charming? When was the last time you looked in the mirror dude, 20 years ago?

• You have a choice of how to respond after Duke Richards insults Mr. Sinclaire. You can either choose the Manners option, or you can choose to outright sass the man. If you don't sass him? The Lady Grandmother will do it for you.

• With the Manners option we find out that the Duke is 51 years old.

• With the non-manners option we find out that the dude likes saucy little minxes.

• @ the last panel in Florence's playthrough, Grandma even you can't deal with this dude for two minutes without nodding off. Why are you dumping him on my head then? (don't tell me. I know the answer 😐). See, this is why Florence will eventually kiss her inheritance goodbye lol.

• Jesus can this man just...speak two words without touching me??

• FINALLY. Miss Parsons. We choose a hiding place to get away from the Duke and then she offers to show us a new part of the estate: the lakefront. The great thing about gardens, esp in the writing of the time, was that it provided privacy for people at the time and allowed them to interact in ways they couldn't in public.

• Did you know: Austen herself used gardens pretty extensively in her writing. Mr Knightley confesses his love to Emma close to a shrubbery. Elizabeth jokes to her aunt about deciding to marry Mr Darcy after seeing the grounds in Pemberley. Fanny Price of Mansfield Park remarks, “To sit in the shade on a fine day, and look upon verdure, is the most perfect refreshment.” Catherine Morland of Northanger Abbey falls in love with hyacinths, Marianne Dashwood of Sense and Sensibility has a passion for fallen leaves in an autumnal garden, while Anne Elliot of Persuasion is always inspired to think of poetry when enjoying the beauties of nature.

Susannah Fullerton in her essay "Jane Austen and her gardens" (for the website Garden Drum) says: "Many proposals [in Austen's novels] take place out of doors where lovers can find some privacy amongst the gravel walks and flower beds; garden improvements are planned by some of the characters; and her heroines all enjoy going into a garden to think".

• Makes sense then that one of the special scenes of this largely "forbidden" relationship (if you choose for that to happen) would take place in greenery, close to a lake. If you notice, it's quite in keeping with the times that most of the romantic moments this chapter happen either in an isolated section of the gardens or while dancing, both of which allow for some measure of interaction between people interested in each other.

• Miss Parsons, the legendary hero of a Duck Prophecy xD

• I love her in this scene. Sure she gets shy when she receives attention she's not used to from us, and she's kind and educative and sweet, but she's also boisterous and passionate and not afraid to pull punches when she needs to (case in point: the shade she immediately throws Henrietta's way regarding her "tutelage"). This scene has her stealing cake from the party to feed the ducks, getting exhilarated from the race and her new friendship with the MC, and feeling extremely confused by her feelings if you speak to her romantically.

• The first half of this scene is pure fun, but the second inevitably shows the two women experiencing a sense of loss that their connection will be cut short - whether they are friends or whether this is a budding romance.

• What I do love about both the romance scenes are the extra touches added to both in the coding. In the skittles scene with Ernest, Marianne is spoken of by default as brushing her hand against his before giving him the ball, whereas Florence simply passes it to him.

• Even with Annabelle, if you acquire romance points with her, the ending of that scene is written quite differently:

I absolutely love this part of the scene. And given that very often the female LI is treated like just the default best friend with some stray romance options attached, it really does feel good to have that sexual tension acknowledged.

• Florence, babe, what is it with you and Italics??

• TIME TO PUT ON OUR DANCING SHOES GUYS (if we bought them).

• So we're doing a dance called La Boulanger...which kinda looks like this:

You dance in a circle, then keep switching partners.

• Did You Know: that the Boulanger was one of the very few dances mentioned by name in Jane Austen's novels? (Pride and Prejudice Chapter 3. I think the reel is mentioned in another).

• I have two left feet unless someone is heavily choreographing a flash mob and spends ages teaching me the steps lol so this looks pretty complicated to me 😂

• You have an option of choosing between Mr Sinclaire, Miss Parsons and Duke Richards. The first two are the usual you'd expect from romantic dance scenes if you choose either of the first two, impressing them with your dance moves and then catching their eye when you're dancing with Edmund, your stepbrother. With Miss Parsons there is an additional show of boldness in that there is a danger of making their affections public.

• The Duke Richards option, which I managed to see thanks to @i-dream-so-i-write ...seems pretty okay actually. He doesn't seem as handsy and creepy as he does in our first meeting (there is a moment where his "hands skim your waist" though, and he tells us we've been apart too long [a couple seconds, tops]), but he's also still talking our ears off. If anyone is interested in seeing it, I can attach the screenshots!

• This man is so freaking extra I can't even.

• The chapter ends with the Earl announcing that he is changing his will, and that the MC is heiress to Edgewater Estate now, which makes it essential for her, then, to make her debut at the London Season, and begin searching for prospective bridegrooms.

• There is a catch though. You get the inheritance if you marry someone of suitable rank. In short...at this point in the story, Marianne is doing alright, but Florence is well and truly screwed until there is a twist somewhere (and surely there will be at some point). Sorry Florence.

• Henrietta has something up her sleeve, and Edmund, who was expecting to inherit, is sad and tells the MC so. You get a relationship point with him if you tell him you understand how it must feel, but he reiterates that you probably won't. We have time, we can still get this dude (and his palpitating fiancée) on our side. Maybe.

• Looks like we'll be starting our journey to London straightaway, and making our debut in London at Mr Sinclaire's party by Chapter 6. Alsooo from the spoilery chapter descriptions it looks like Mr. Marlcaster will try tripping us up at least once, or more than once. Also looks like we have two more skills on our accomplishment board to learn. So far we've gotten needlework, music and dancing - we now need to see what the other two are. I THINK one of them is painting.

General Thoughts:

• Good chapter. It's a little slow which is fine, because I think all the action will actually happen during the London Season instead. We meet only two suitors, one of whom we have already met in the first chapter.

• I feel like the extra scenes that we'll get with the unlocked accomplishments will include other styles of the same art. We initially learn the piano, but I feel like unlocking it will lead to extra scenes with other instruments, and unlocking the dancing shoes will show us extra scenes of Annabelle teaching us other dances (the waltzes, the reel, etc). I'm not entirely sure about this, it's just a theory I have. I mean, once we're in London we'll need to learn waltzes and the minuet and stuff.

• Luke doesn't make an appearance this chapter, but then again nor does Briar as soon as the MC gets ready. I think we'll see more of him now that we will be traveling to London.

• Donna Hatch's (who writes a ton of historical romances, esp Regency) essay on the London Season lists the months active in each year for it, and in 1816 it was from February to July. In the story it's now the beginning of April. Usually it's best to go at the very start if you're looking for marriage prospects, but given the MC's particular circumstances this time of the season isn't too bad either I'd reckon.

• Remember how I told you guys last chapter about the inclusion of Mary Brunton's Self Control? And how she criticizes the popular "rake" figure in Regency fiction? I'm not sure Duke Richards adheres completely to how rakes were depicted at the time, but he definitely does seem to be channeling Colonel Hargrave a little here.

• I wonder what the Duke seems to be hiding. Besides of course the truth of his equation with Sinclaire. Why is he so focused on this new woman? I think there might be more to this. I also can't wait to see the other suitors, like the viscount and Mr Chambers.

• I do like how we learn more about Sinclaire and Annabelle here. Annabelle largely has the role that Hana had in TRR, and there are some similarities - but she also has a lot more wiggle-room and seems to be bolder and a little more outgoing. She has grown up with the limitations placed on women at the time, but unlike Hana, hasn't faced as many restrictions in her upbringing.

• As I've mentioned before, I love Annabelle and I love that they're trying to do a better job of her. But I'm not entirely sure if cramming two separate scenes of hers in single chapters of an already expensive book is a wise choice, or if it will harm her development in the long run because people find it too expensive to spend on her. IMO the accomplishment scenes should be a little further spread out in the books.

• Now that the MC is going to be a future Countess, what is in store for her? In her rightful home Edgewater, she has a limited audience and not as much expectation to live up to...what will become of her now that she will be participating in the Season in London? Guess we'll find out today, or in the coming weeks xD

• Tagging: @boneandfur @liamraines @thespiritpanda @alanakusumastan @ernestsinclairs @mrsthomashunt @private-investigator-nazario @bcdollplace @queenodysseia @mcbangle

If you'd like to be tagged in one of the QTs, please let me know!

#desire and decorum #long post #ernest sinclaire #annabelle parsons #ernest x mc #annabelle x mc #dnd quick thoughts #quick thoughts #edgewater estate

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ebonguard · 7 years ago

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The Making of The Cloak & Dagger (and Looking Forward)

Last night, February 25, The Cloak & Dagger opened its doors to the public for the first time. It was an event that was a long while in the making, beginning with me getting a house pre-Stormblood (for a price that was practically theft, natch). I kind of had an idea of what I wanted it to be from the outset: from where I was standing, it felt like there were a lot of kind of "trashy" sorts of establishments, the kind that are holes in the wall. So I wanted to take a different approach. A few weeks after I came to Balmung (almost a year and a half ago now!), there was an open event that, while I was too overwhelmed to participate in even with the small group I attended with, I came to love the concept of: the Sinner's Sanctuary.

Unfortunately, I wasn't an experienced roleplayer and the venue was small, operating out of a private chamber. The text scroll overwhelmed me and I quickly backed out of the event, going off to level my character instead.

Still, the vibe was great, and it stuck with me. After apartments were released, I even obtained permission from the owner to use the new Sinner's Sanctuary location for some Ebonguard meetups! While it doesn't seem like the venue's tumblr is up anymore, I still have the event flyers from that time along with a screencap from the meetup itself!

(Came for the crime, stayed for the Duskwights.)

I've always been attracted to classier joints, because I play a character who fancies himself to be a man of class. Leonnaux, who spends most of his time on the Ebonguard network playing up the image of his actually-nonexistent-employer, Crow (they're the same person, though he does his best to obscure this fact), dresses nice. He tends to stay away from rougher elements, as he's an information broker, not a fighter. In fact, prior to relatively recently, he looked down on mercenaries, and he still looks down on people who will jump to bloodshed as a first solution rather than the last one. This holds true even as he's ascended the ranks through his Free Company, the Artifice of Reason, which is a research institute... Though having people of loose morals and tight lips has always been a bit of a trend at the (IC) higher rungs of the organization.

Within the first year of Ebonguard's run, we were lucky enough to have one of our members (then-officer, though all of our officers are, in a similar manner to The Cloak & Dagger Staff, volunteers; when real life starts kicking in, I'm not about to hold it against anyone for stepping down into a role that they are more comfortable with), Itara designate their FC room as a space for Ebonguard use.

(1, 2)

Although a little bit spookier than the Sinner's Sanctuary, it still gave off the kind of vibe I liked: it was classy, it was exclusive. There were zones sectioned off so that groups looking to do business could have a bit of privacy to their negotiations. Unfortunately, the Lucky #7 didn't last much longer past its grand opening, either; Itara's only one person and running a full-on venue on a regular basis is more than I think one person could begin to handle. That said, it was decorated nicely, and the overall 'feel' of the Lucky #7 was one that I attempted, unsuccessfully, to emulate in the first iteration of the Cloak & Dagger's basement.

(This cooler-colored, barless basement is what the Cloak & Dagger could have been, but two redecorations later and I found something that I liked a more. After some trial and error with personal RP and figuring out that having people's backs in the wall is a really bad idea for camera angles, the current iteration, pictured below, was born. Even so... I might revisit this particular concept. This was designed before they added blank partitions, so matching the wall was a huge pain in the ass and it was really cramping my style, hence why I changed it.)

(Unfortunately, blank partitions have an ugly border and can't be backed into the corner at an angle to hide it, so white partitions kind of continue to cramp my style. It’s fucked up because they can be scooted into the wall if they’re straight-on, just not at an angle!! Reeeeeee!!)

Fast forward to November, and I'm gathering up volunteers for a soft-opening, which surprisingly goes pretty quickly. Lots of people were interested, though only a few people stuck around. I schedule it for January, and it goes well enough with only a few staff members on hand. And then, a few weeks later... The grand opening. Last night!

I'll be completely honest, I was not expecting nearly as many people as showed up. if I'd known we'd get such a large group, I would have recruited a few more volunteer staff beforehand (or tried to, at least). Still, it was fun! It was fun to learn how these things are done, and I didn't freak out nearly as much as I thought I would. It was interesting forcing myself in the sort of position where I had to do a little bit of walk-up, although I left that mainly to the rest of the staff and have Leonnaux just help out where needed with taking orders and the like.

At one point, every table except the ones at the veeery front had at least one person at them! It was wild! But again, a good learning experience, and now that we have a proof of concept, The Cloak & Dagger's staff and I are looking at ways to incorporate more of a criminal element into the events themselves.

While I thought, at first, about doing the "order this drink for Crime RP," I know that another group used that gimmick in the past and, while I enjoyed it, I didn't want to 'rip-off' that group. (I have since been notified that this is actually a relatively common trope, so in the future we will look at including this venue feature.) Meanwhile, the idea of a password was also appealing since it would open up the crime RP to people outside of the Ebonguard, where the usual schtick at past meet-ups was to show off the black linkpearl for a free drink. Unfortunately, the idea of a password is also a bit... Unwieldy, all things considered; the only character who would then be in a position to take said password would be my character, and although I consider myself an experienced DM at this point, I also still just one person, and also would like to not hog all the criminal RP action.

In the future, I'd also like to see some performers, although I'm not exactly sure about how one goes about attracting those in general, let alone the sorts of performers who would be likely to play on the stage of The Cloak & Dagger rather than, say, a pub or dive bar, for example. That, though, is a bridge to cross later; performances are a tertiary interest at best, since the main focus of the venue is and always will be on the criminal aspect! Unless people just really, really want to get drunk, in which case I'll gladly provide the recipe for the cocktail that a menu item is based on: the Gold Court! In real life, it's actually a pretty specific cocktail from a pretty specific restaurant. It's called The Great Gatsby, and it's actually delicious. The Lillet Blanc is a little bit expensive, but I don't hate it even on its own and I mean, I doubt that kind of thing expires?

The other menu parallels I think are obvious: the Cloak & Dagger is a Black Russian with vanilla vodka, the martini is a martini (I actually considered making it specifically the Vesper Martini, you know, the one from James Bond? But then I decided against it. I don't remember why. The Bond reference remained in the menu description though and earned an amusing reaction from Itara.) A Dark n Stormy is a Dark n Stormy and was included on the menu mostly for want of a better item to include. I've never had most of these cocktails, but I tried to spread their flavor profiles out dramatically, and technically the bar can make any cocktail your imagination can think up as long as you communicate with the barkeeps as to what it is. Food items were variously adapted from the CUL recipe list and just made up on the spot by making lore inferences; i.e. since fried popotoes are mentioned in the Battered Fish item description and Salt Cod Puffs are basically deep-fried, I decided that chicken tenders were probably alright to include.

The next opening of The Cloak & Dagger will be on March 11 at the same time: 8PM EST! We're looking for more volunteers for staff, mostly people who are willing to act as hosts/greeters and security (both to confiscate weapons AT THE DOOR THIS TIME! I'M A FOOL! and to make sure no fights break out... Rowdiness might be entertaining, but bar fights aren't in the spirit of the venue IC or OOC.)

We hope to see you there!

#;;updates #;;cloakanddagger #[ i wanted to be a little sappy before running off to do classwork. ]#{ the cloak and dagger. }#{ ebonguard update. }

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pocketseizure · 7 years ago

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The Legend of the Princess, Chapter Fourteen

Outside the Castle Walls

In which Zelda goes to Telma's Bar to get help deciphering a scrap of paper left behind by Ganondorf but ends up drinking and watching Impa and Nabooru flirt.

(Chapter Fourteen on AO3) (Story Tag on Tumblr) (Cover Illustration)

* * * * *

When Zelda entered Telma's Bar behind Impa, the Gerudo woman named Nabooru stood and flashed her friend a bright smile as soon as she walked through the door. She then stood and gestured them over to a corner of the bar, where she had been guarding two empty stools from the crowd.

"Haven't seen you in a while, stranger," Nabooru said, winking at Zelda as she touched Impa's arm lightly. Although Zelda generally found the cloth covering her face under her guise as a Sheikah apprentice irritating, she was thankful for it now, since no one could see her blush.

A barmaid who recognized Impa set two mugs of beer in front of them. Nabooru raised her own glass in a wordless toast, and Impa clinked the rims of their mugs together before she and Nabooru slid gracefully onto their seats. To Zelda they looked like two cats, secure in themselves and confident in their prowess. They began chatting without waiting for her to climb onto her stool.

Zelda let them talk as she pulled down the loose fabric covering her mouth and took a sip of the beer. It was sweet and tangy, and the foam was rich and smooth on her lips. Instead of trying to join Impa's conversation, she rotated herself to look out into the bar as she continued drinking.

It was late enough in the evening that a sizeable crowd of people had gathered. Zelda noticed an unusually high number of Darknuts, and there were even a few Bokoblins and Moblins mixed in among them. The Gorons didn't seem to mind them, but the Hylians and Zora gave their groups a wide berth. As far as Zelda knew, Bokoblins and Moblins rarely came to Castle Town, preferring to remain in their own settlements in the forests and on the plains. They had probably taken advantage of the large influx of people to enter the city unnoticed.

"That's a sight you don't see every day," Telma remarked to Zelda from behind the bar, having wandered over and noticed Zelda looking at a particularly rowdy table of Moblins.

"I've seen Darknuts here before," Zelda responded.

"I'd never stay in business if I started turning people away, but more of those Darknuts have been coming in from Faron Woods every day. They keep to themselves, but they've been bringing Moblins and Bokoblins with them, and they're all armed to the teeth. It might be of concern to someone who worries about such things."

"It might be," Zelda agreed, not knowing what Telma was getting at. "You don't think they're just here for the coronation?"

"To hear the way they talk, this lot doesn't seem to have a great deal of loyalty to the throne."

Zelda nodded and took another sip of beer. "Then why are they here?" she asked.

"The question isn't why they're here, but why they aren't elsewhere. Why have all of the Darknuts who used to work in the castle left, that sort of thing. It might also be worth asking why there aren't any Gerudo in the castle. If you're curious, you could start with this Gerudo right here," Telma said, tipping her head at Nabooru, "who I know for a fact has been shirking her duties at court all week."

Nabooru heard Telma's comment and turned toward Zelda.

"Don't remind me," she said, winking at Telma. "I'm trying to have a good time."

Zelda remembered how Nabooru mentioned the power of Ganondorf's magic in their previous conversation. She'd passed it off as gossip, but perhaps Nabooru knew him personally.

"Did you come to Hyrule with the Gerudo emissary?" Zelda asked her as Telma moved away to speak with a group of Zora women who had just perched themselves at the other end of the bar.

Nabooru nodded. "I did – or at least I did this time around. We're just here for show, and there's no reason for us to be in the castle if our presence isn't required. Only Ganondorf was foolish enough to show up with an agenda. He somehow got it into his thick head that this would be a good opportunity for diplomacy. He was spared most of the actual planning for his own coronation, so he has no idea how busy the castle is with the preparations. We tried to tell him that his job is to smile and look pretty, but he's always taken everything too seriously. He spent his first week here under a dark cloud because no one would make time for him. Meanwhile, we women have learned from experience that no one wants a bunch of us hanging around and making everyone uncomfortable with our unladylike behavior, so we've taken our lodgings in the city."

"I'm sorry to hear that you don't feel comfortable in the castle," Zelda said, realizing to her dismay that she had never developed a proper persona as Impaz. Would Impaz be in a position to offer condolences regarding the royal family's lack of hospitality? This only occurred to her after the words had left her mouth, but Nabooru didn't seem to think it was out of the ordinary.

"Things were different when the old queen was still alive," she responded. "I'm no expert on Hyrule, but I understand there's been a political backlash against the liberalism of her reign. I can only hope the new queen helps to improve the situation. I can't imagine it will be easy, but Ganondorf thinks highly of the princess. Or at least he won't shut up about her, that's for certain."

"What does he say?" Zelda asked, unable to help herself.

"That she's the only civilized person in that drafty pile of rocks the Hylians call a castle, that sort of thing. He tends to rant when he gets worked up about something, and we don't pay him any mind."

"I see," Zelda responded, not sure how facetious Nabooru was being. She had gotten no closer to understanding who Nabooru was, and she inwardly cursed herself for not thinking to ask her secretarial staff to give her more information about the party of Gerudo that would be attending her coronation.

She had been too occupied with other matters during the past several weeks to pursue any sort of extraneous investigations into the details of the ceremony that did not require her immediate attention, but that was no excuse for not having asked one of her secretaries or attendants as soon as she'd grown curious about Ganondorf. It was her habit to collect information and gossip about the various goings-on in her castle, and in fact she had been carefully trained by her teachers and advisors in the art of doing so. For some reason, however, she hadn't thought to go through her usual channels to inquire after Ganondorf.

As she took a sip of beer to allow for a small break in the conversation, Zelda realized how odd it was that no one had volunteered information to her of their own accord. Based on what she heard during the evening court gatherings, Ganondorf had caused quite a stir, both with his presence and his standoffishness. As a Gerudo, he looked and dressed differently than most Hylians, but so too did the numerous Gorons, Zora, and Rito who had gathered at the castle. He was the nominal leader of a prosperous territory, he was neither a minor nor an elder, and, more to the point, he was unmarried; by all rights, he should have attracted much more positive attention.

Zelda was sure that, if she did begin to ask people about Ganondorf, she would no doubt hear any number of interesting rumors, but she felt reticent to do so. Although she couldn't put her finger on why, there was something about her relationship with him that she wanted to keep to herself. She didn't want people to know that she was asking after him, nor did she want people to speculate on how interested in him she truly was. If anyone else had come to her court and started making insinuations about how her kingdom would burn, she would have had their background thoroughly extirpated and their movements meticulously traced. This business with Ganondorf was different, somehow, and she still didn't understand why her intuition had guided her to pursue the matter on her own.

Zelda's life was well structured and guided by a strong sense of order, yet her recent dreams of catastrophe had disoriented and unbalanced her, and her visions added a number of unknown variables. Political malcontents she could deal with, but warlords and wizards were something else entirely. Meanwhile, she suspected that Impa was hiding something from her, and even Link, whom she could always count on to treat her as a friend, was behaving strangely. Earlier this afternoon he had interrupted her conversation with Ganondorf, saying that the king had summoned her; but, when she arrived in the stateroom her father was currently occupying, he informed her that he had done no such thing. What intrigued her more than what appeared to be Link's clumsy attempt to separate her from Ganondorf was her father's complete lack of curiosity or irritation when she explained what had happened. It was all very strange.

"By the way," Zelda said, reaching into a pouch at her belt, "it's embarrassing to admit this, but I'm terrible with Gerudo cursive. I was wondering if I could get you to read something for me." She withdrew the scrap of paper that Ganondorf had left in the small book of legends in the library and handed it to Nabooru.

Nabooru took it from her, the gold of her rings gleaming in the dim light of the storm lanterns suspended above the bar. She looked at the paper, blinked, and laughed.

"It's an advertisement for shaved ice," she said, grinning. "And this isn't cursive. You're even worse at our language than you think. Is this an excuse to get me to invite you to the desert? Because I'm always open to introducing pretty young women to new cultural experiences."

"Don't tease the poor girl," Impa said, poking Nabooru in the ribs. "I can't have you leading my apprentice astray."

"Do as the master says and not as the master does, isn't that right?" Nabooru replied, poking her back.

"Could you check the other side?" Zelda broke in, blushing furiously.

"Of course," Nabooru assented, flipping the paper between her slim fingers. Zelda felt even more heat rise to her face. The cursive on the back of the scrap of paper was beautiful, and it made her heart beat heavier in her chest as she watched the delicate movement of Nabooru's hand while imaging Ganondorf writing the forceful yet intricate flow of words.

"No wonder you couldn't read this," Nabooru said. "It's an old system of musical notation. If I hadn't already seen it written like this before, I might not have been able to understand it either. What you've got here are the opening bars of a dance, and it goes like this..."

Nabooru proceeded to hum a quick and lively melody. Zelda didn't think she had ever heard it before, but it resonated in her mind just as "The Song of the Hero" had. She didn't think she would have any trouble remembering it.

"Does it have lyrics?" Impa asked.

"Not traditionally, but people like to set it to words, some dirtier than others. It's a prayer for a long and happy marriage. Some of the more conventional lyrics go like this..."

Without any hesitation or embarrassment at all, Nabooru began to sing softly in a rich and husky voice. The lyrics had been composed in an archaic version of the Gerudo language, and Zelda wasn't able to understand everything, but what she heard was filled with wind and sand and stars.

"I've read this poem before," Impa said when Nabooru finished. "I didn't know it'd been set to a melody." She then sang the next verse, surprising Zelda, who had never heard her sing before.

Before she got more than a few lines in, Nabooru touched a finger to her lips, her eyes large and bright. "Stop singing before you make me fall in love with you," she murmured.

Zelda smiled and looked away, turning her back on the two women. She enjoyed watching them, but she resolved to go elsewhere and give them privacy once she finished her beer.

Before her daily schedule became too crowded to allow her to read for pleasure, Zelda had loved romances, and she dreamed of epic quests and fearsome monsters and brave princesses and princes fighting alongside kind and gentle heroes who were nevertheless carnivorous enough to ravage their partners properly when the time came. Knowing that she would only create trouble for herself if she were to indulge her curiosity at court, Zelda had convinced Impa to help her sneak out of the castle. Impa always exhibited something of a rebellious streak herself, and she hadn't required a great deal of persuasion.

Even before Impa allowed her to dress as a Sheikah apprentice, Zelda had disguised herself as a townsman's daughter, or the son of traveling merchants, or a soldier in training – anything that would help her walk through the city unnoticed and talk with people without arousing suspicion. Once she had learned to mimic the speech and gestures of people whose lives had not been constrained by a noble upbringing, Zelda grew more bold. Under Impa's supervision, she had flirted with various people by daylight, and then, once she was confident enough to request that Impa to occupy herself elsewhere, she began indulging in brief romantic entanglements by night.

No matter whether she made her advances to women or to men, she had never been able to find the warmth that radiated from every interaction between Impa and Nabooru. She had never felt the fierceness in their eyes when they looked at each other, or the gentleness in the space they created between them, or the grace with which they moved around one another. Perhaps it was simply her lack of experience, but in her couplings hands were unpleasantly sweaty and grasping while tongues were nothing more than saliva-coated muscles. The first time she had allowed herself to be penetrated had been brief and awkward, and her second experience had been, if it was possible, even more unpleasant.

Is that what marriage would be like? Painful and joyless fumbling until an heir was produced? A princess must be calm and composed, even in the most taxing and regrettable situations, but Zelda resented the expectation that she be bred like a prize horse. She thought, not for the first time, that she would gladly give up the privilege of her birthright if it meant that she could exercise full control over her time and her own body.

Out of the corner of her eye Zelda saw someone approach from the side, a young man whose fine clothing was only perfunctorily concealed by a shabby cloak. Zelda rolled her eyes as she finished her beer and set the glass down on the bar. He was more than likely one of the recently arrived gentry who had gone out looking for cheap thrills but was too stupid to know that Telma's Bar was not the place to find them.

As he drew closer, Zelda recognized him as the son of a military commander stationed in the northeast Akkala hills. Earlier this very evening she had seen him attempt to seduce one of her childhood rivals, a girl who had once teased her mercilessly about her dreams and now rarely spoke to her. When he had been formally presented to her by his father, however, he addressed her in a parody of sincere affection. Zelda only barely tolerated him then, and it made her stomach churn to be confronted with him again now. Since there seemed to be no avoiding it, she spun on her stool to face him, fixing him in as icy a glare as she could manage.

"My buddies dared me to come over and talk to you," he said as he sat down on a stool next to her.

"How courageous of you," Zelda muttered, twisting her face away from the whiskey fumes that rose from his body. A small cheer went up from a nearby table, but she refused to look at the rabble spurring him on.

"You're awfully pretty," he slurred, his voice thick with alcohol. "So tell me, are you are boy, or are you a girl?"

"Piss off," Zelda said in a dry voice, pulling the loose cloth at her neck up to cover her mouth as she stood to leave. The nobleman reached for her, and she kicked a leg of his stool, knocking him off balance and sending him tumbling onto the floor. After a moment of shock and confusion, he launched a volley of expletives up at her, but she let them bounce off her back as she headed for the door, suggestively fingering one of the knives sheathed at her waist to discourage anyone who might feel compelled to follow her. She may not have nailed down all the subtleties of her persona as Impaz, but warding off creeps came to her like second nature.

The slight chilliness of the outside air was a welcome relief after the clamor and press of bodies in the bar. As far as Zelda was concerned, the night was over; all she wanted to do was to wash her face, fall into her bed, and sleep until morning. She wished she possessed Ganondorf's ability to use magic to travel, and she resented the fact that she hadn't been able to go riding with him. During the next few days she could expect work and more work, and then even more work on top of that. The only thing that sparked excitement in her heart was the anticipation of being able to play the Gerudo song on her ocarina. Even if it did not transport her through time, she found the prospect of recreating the melody with her own breath strangely arousing.

( Chapter Fifteen )

#Zelgan #The Legend of the Princess #my fic

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vespersong · 7 years ago

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Theory for Bendy and the Ink Machine

So earlier today, I was looking through Tumblr and watching videos of the new chapter of BATIM when I suddenly had an epiphany.

Possible spoilers below!

So a lot of theories have been bouncing around about this game and one I keep seeing has to do with Henry being compared to Walt Disney. That thought kept bouncing around my head when I realized this: it could be true!

But in order to explain why, we must first have a history lesson.

So way back before Mickey Mouse become a star, Walt was working at Universal Studios with Wrinkler Pictures when he created Oswald the Lucky Rabbit. This character was a big deal: his cartoons were a push towards better animation, more story, and story driven gags. They weren’t the most successful thing but were popular none the less. Oswald made Walt a success but after the first round of cartoons, things went wrong.

Walt attempted to get a 20% budget increase to improve the animation quality only to be told that he would get a 20% decrease in budget instead! Also, most of the staff Walt worked with were now signed to Wrinkler under Charles Mintz. Disney decided to just leave - which he did - and later created Mickey.

So why all the compressed history? Because I think this story is the basis for Bendy’s story.

Bendy is based on characters like Oswald and Mickey so that’s easy. Boris is a bit of a stretch but he seems to be analog to Pete. His original design was very Pete styled and it turns out that Pete actually showed up in a few Oswald cartoons!

This is from “The Ocean Hop” a 1927 Oswald cartoon and yes, that is an early Pete design on the left.

Alice is tough but she could either be Fanny, Oswald’s girlfriend. Points for this stem from the line about her being a less popular character than Oswald and her design. Remember that in one audio diary, Shawn Flynn says this:

“he could be tellin' me what I'm to be doin' with this warehouse I got full of that angel whatchamacallit. Not a scrap of that mess be a-sellin'!”

Also this was Fanny’s appearance in her brief run

Hmm, shapely figure in a pretty dress... it’s worth noting that she had an earlier design that was much more Minnie Mouse in earlier shorts. And the two most popular ideas for Alice’s role is as the Minnie to Bendy’s Mickey or The Betty Boop to his Bimbo.

Finally, Fanny was in very few cartoons. Out of 27 Disney made Oswald cartoons, she appeared in 5 before being replaced by Ortensia, a cat. And isn’t it kinda funny that Alice Angel had two voice actresses, one of whom had very little time to voice the character?

Now if all this is true, where does Joey fit in? Easy, he’s Charles Mintz. He is listed as the owner of Sillyvision, much like Mintz was the de facto boss of Wrinkler. Henry’s secret tape also mentions that Joey hasn’t paid him yet:

“Joey is a man of ideas, and only ideas. When I mean to start this whole thing with him, I though there'd be a little more give and take. Instead I give, and he takes.”

So how does all this fit together? Well consider this:

Henry creates Bendy, Boris, and Alice and these characters boost Sillyvision into the public eye. The studio starts making money only Henry’s not seeing much of it. He goes to Joey only to get rebuffed when he asks for a raise. Fed up, Henry leaves and forms his own studio. Meanwhile the Bendy cartoons are less successful without Henry and Joey turns to dark ways to keep them living.

The Creator Lied To Us? Maybe Henry promised that things would be fine without him and they weren’t. The Toons are mad that Henry forgot them and so is Joey.

Or I could be wrong. But who knows?

Oh, one last thing: it turns out Oswald was the first Disney character to receive his own merchandise. Now, where does chapter three take place?

Hmm...

Edit: I made a semi-sequel to this about Alice! Check it out here: https://vespersong.tumblr.com/post/166241162504/alice-angel-from-fanny-to-forgotten

#thoughts #theory #batim bendy #bendy and the ink machine #themeatly #alice angel #boris the wolf #walt disney #animation #animation history #oswald the lucky rabbit #charles mintz #joey drew #bendy the demon #food for thought

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mogamifucker666 · 7 years ago

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cabana au plot thing maybe. i can’t write so.. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

premise: Mogami is an assassin/hitman, working at a tropical resort for cover. his mom is sick. he works with SG guy (Sargent) as assassins but also at the same tropical resort place. Matsuo is a rich gold digger, killed his last husband but was judged innocent in the trial. now he’s looking for thrills, doesn’t desire more money, just trying to have a good time. which for him means.. causing choas.

(this post is so long and dumb and gay i am so sorry for anyone on tumblr mobile RIP)

(edit: it’s even longer now and i tried to fix the typos from before. i hate how invested i am in this AU and yet i cannot stop.)

Matsuo comes to this resort regularly and the staff are Wary and particular about the staff they (somewhat) sacrifice to Matsuo. but Matsuo has MAD CA$H so they assign him like.. a personal attendant of sorts.

Mogami was hired between the last visit and this one, has been working there a lil while (some months but less than a year), Sargent is part of the resort’s management and works to cover for Mogam to give him alibis while he’s off killing ppl Just In Case

Mogami probably has an alias that he uses for like everything and that’s “Kai” bc he works by the ocean lmao.

I guess Mogami works around the pool and beach? waiter/bartender type thing. trained as a lifeguard so he does that too.

Anyhow he gets assigned to Matsuo, is aware that Matsuo’s was on trial for the murder of his husband but wasn’t convicted, but doesn’t really know what to expect. definitely not the chaotic twinky gremlin that Matsuo is in this AU.

Possible first interaction: Mogami is just trying to serve some drinks and Matsuo intercepts him and he's like "can i help you.....uhm........?" (can't figure out Matsuo's gender)

Matsuo, "that would be sir, thank you. but in a different context you can call me baby." Mogam is internally like o no-- Matsuo, not missing a beat, "and i can call you daddy." and Mogami is like. CRIngiNG he's like this is it, this is the curse brought on by killing people, the bad luck has finally caught up with me-- etc

Matsuo has a thing about paying ppl with Mogami’s job 4 sex/seducing them

Mogam is not about it

Matsuo won’t ease up

Anyway. things r tense and assassin stuff is more difficult bc of dealing with being Matsuo’s attendant. but there r days when Mogam isn’t working, where he has leave to “see his mom” which are often used for assassin stuff but. sometimes seeing mom. sometimes both.

Mogam still maintains his cool and indifference to Matsuo’s attempted advances

it’d be ridiculous if Matsuo very obviously fakes drowning. standing in shallow water (literally standing) and just flinging water around and looking like a fool, calling out “help me lifeguard! im Drowning! oh the humanity! i am struggling to breathe oh lifeguard please help me!” mostly bothering the other people around so Mogami feels compelled to usher him away but Mogami does Not lol and Matsuo just looks like a desperate fool.

maybe he actually pretends to drown

“i think i need cpr”

“i’ll just call an ambulance for you”

“come ON” as Mogami gets up and Leaves

Matsuo: >;;;;^( Mogami: B^|

Matsuo prObably goes for some other poolboys in the meantime. partly for attention, partly because it’s what he does.

Matsuo insists that Mogami has a secret (and he does) but Mogam denies that he has any secret of interest to Matsuo

somehow Matsuo finds out about his mom tho and Mogam is like “ah yes. my dark secret. i am indeed secretly tender at heart and love my mother very much. u got me.” but like. no it’s that he’s killing people. But there is some bonding and more respect from Matsuo. some but not much.

the Advances continue tho Matsuo is like still like “if u need money then sleep with me??”. Mogam is like. No.

also, at some point, Mogami to Matsuo “has anything bad happened to you at all in your life?” (bad things have happened but it’s been a While and Matsuo is hella detached from that)

Matsuo is legit like. lowkey a psychopath probably and breaks into Mogam’s (place of residence) (apartment proabably?) and Mogam gets back from a nearby “job” (shady bloody job) and Matsuo sees him (Matsuo wasn’t hiding lol) and Mogam Very Clearly bloody (under the shirt he was wear and since removed bc he’s home now) and is internally like “i’m not prepared to deal with this. this is over my head, the disappearance would go noticed, and would obviously connect to me... i’ll call Sargent. i probably have to kill him, such a hassle.. could be the end of things. what i thoughtless greedy awful--”

i drew it:

(evil gremlin pixie gets gay while dead-inside man contemplates the logistics of murder and disposing the body)

he glances down and Matsuo is like... sparkly heart emojis looking at the blood on Mogami and. Mogam is CONFUSED hE’s like “What.. are you doing looking like that?????”

(the blood drawn on his face/hand doesn’t make sense now that ive thought about it but. i can’t be bothered now.)

(my fave Mogami reaction to Matsuo is “bitch what the fuck” honestly)

Matsuo is rlly hot about the blood i but Mogam is just tired of this he’s like. resigned and kind of given up and legit just “I’m going to take a shower”

“can i come with u? ::::3c”

“you can do whatever you want” (figures Matsuo will follow him but doesn’t care if Matsuo leaves and tells the police he’s just tired rn)

Matsuo does follow him (he’s got his Eyes on the Prize)(the “prize” has gotten more and more interesting and enticing as time went by and now he is enthralled. Matsuo is chaotic and freaky and i love him. kinky(TM))

Mogam is trying to ignore Matsuo in the shower but eventually just Gives Up and like yeah wow sex huh

it is. a lot more good than Mogam anticipated and Matsuo is very :^)))))) after (satisfied and “i told u so” and still sneaky but also. more solidly attached now)(Mogam is endearingly passionate and it’s hot i guess idk don’t look at me)

Matsuo is probably the only (alive) person besides Sargent who knows he’s killing people so like. that relieves tension and allows for more intimacy ok

(im gay don’t talk to me)

at some point after that Matsuo is like “you like killing people”

“no, it’s just a job”

except he does and something happening close to the time of the convo is like ‘wait yes i do enjoy it..’

At Some Point Matsuo gets a wound over his eye (so the scar matches canon lol), it’s somehow a result of hanging around Mogami

thanks @ Nick for this idea: maybe Matsuo gets kidnapped and Mogam has to go save him. Jokes on Mogami tho Matsuo knows how to use a gun and can handle i knife decently. basically Matsuo kills at least Some of his abductors, gets his face slashed, and escapes by the time Mogami arrives to save him.

probably a sobering experience for Matsuo like ‘o right actions have consequences that affect me. wow. strange.’

this isn’t a deterrent for him tho, he’s still having fun, but he’s gonna be less flippant and careless from then on.

idK eventually an agreement of commitment happens and like. Mogam quits and the resort and moved back with Matsuo to the US i guess and now he doesn’t have to worry about money for his mom’s care bc Matsuo is stacked.

so Matsuo has married twice and the latest one is dead but the other one (his first marriage) is to Toichiro.

Toichiro’s wife divorced him, he’s rich and is some important af person in a corporation idk, he and Matsuo r together for a while and then married briefly and then Matsuo divorces him and gets hella money (awful. cruel. rude boy. evil. i love it)

(their relationship was like. probably kind of sad bc Toichiro is pretending he’s not torn up abt his ex-wife and maybe Matsuo like?? wasn’t just being a gold digger and actually cared about him, but was constantly eclipsed by the ex-wife n got tired of it and once they were married he was pretty soon like “Okay. That’s That. Bye.” dark. idk Matsuo is an energetic and wild person and Toichiro is cold and dead inside and Matsuo probably brought a lot of like.. joy to his life, and he took that for granted n Matsuo left. bye bish.)(lmao i h8 angst i’m sad now)

the current dynamic between him and Toichiro is like.. whenever they see each other they just drag the shit out of each other and r snide and that’s their point of camaraderie but Matsuo rlly doesn’t care abt him and always rubs Toichiro’s unsatisified life in his face.

but Matsuo is with Mogami now and they’re back in the US (some big city, probably Los Angeles or NYC.. or both. Matsuo has an unnecessary excess of wealth he can have a house on both coasts) but they end up talking with Toichiro and so Toichiro and Matsuo r doing their nasty banter thing and Toichiro starts talking dirty and about stuff he and Matsuo did and Matsuo is kind of pissed and internally like ‘wow in front of my boyfriend?? i know i have no class either but xcuse u bitch :^)’ but. also talks abt the stuff he’s been doing with Mogami. meanwhile Mogami is just there SEETHING quietly, tensely but politely smiling, thinking 'the nerve of this awful man with ugly eyebrows. abhorrent.' Matsuo is keeping an eye on him as the tension is rising and eventually.. 'wow my murder bf is about to fight my ex and while that's Hot that's not a good idea---' so he he cuts the conversation off like "well, i know who i've chosen--" wraps arm around Mogami's waist "--have a good life pining for your ex-wife" and like. leaves. bye.

or “have fun trying to fill the void left my your ex-wife for as long as you live”

Matsuo’s second marriage is probably to Ishiguro and purely for the money. but Ishiguro is gross and old and Matsuo was tired of waiting for him to die and took matters into his own hands. and ended up with a lot of money and no jail time.

idk what else. vague ideas kind of like. Mogam has a day of and Sargent goes to visit momgami in the hospital as a way to cover for Mogami going to do a hit. or doing a hit for Mogam so he can visit his mom. tru friends.

the beginning aesthetic being like. tacky tropical beach and it changing into like. lavish but sleek spy-aesthetic by the end is funny to me. tropical pattern prints and speedos and petty drama and humar to dark clothes and a scar and like. weirdly devoted and sexy dynamic. silly to serious. hilariously bad rom com to.. rich murder gays (NBC Hannibal stole my aesthetic)

im starting to fall asleep but ya this au was originally 100% shitpost and yet here. i am. thinking about it seriously.

#entry #idea post #god awful but ineeded to write it down so i don't forgET anything relevant for draws #when will i finish writing my actual serious thoughts abt either of them/their relationship... smh

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feralfrontreciepts · 8 years ago

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confessions of a failed negotiator

(this isn’t a receipt in and of itself, but it is related to the situation at hand)

Hi, guys.

What I’m about to say could potentially cost me both a) any respect I might’ve earned from the banned members, and b) any second chances the staff might have been willing to offer me, but I still think it needs to be said.

I’m really just here to clarify the things I’ve done wrong- as I believe everyone deserves full disclosure on this.

First of all, I essentially appointed myself as the banned members’ representative. There are just as many problems with doing this on the Internet as there are with doing this in a real-world government system, but even setting that aside, the truth is that I’m an emotionally-charged jerk who can’t even convincingly feign eloquence most of the time; I wasn’t fit to be anyone’s representative, not in a case as major as this. Had the banned members wanted someone to represent them, they could easily have found someone better- and even if they did pick me, the least I could’ve done was ensure I was educated on all of the issues that I brought up.

As a result, by making a complete fool of myself in front of Dynamo- trying to scapegoat Romans and Kodiene for starting the transfer drama simply because it was convenient rather than because I actually had any proof, not asking the right questions, not being as clear about the points I was trying to make as I should have- I made a complete fool of everyone I was trying to stand up for. All I did was inadvertently convince him that he was completely right.

So as an aside, just to make things clear- right now, I’m speaking solely for myself, not for anyone else.

In addition, I allowed my confusion on the matter to cloud my judgement, which also lended itself to the aforementioned issue. I will admit, at the risk of losing what little respect I might have had from the banned members and/or the staff: I didn’t think anyone was completely in the right here.

On one hand, I wanted to side with the banned members. I outright idolized many of them, in fact; were it not for the responsibility of taking care of LithiumClan that remained squarely on my shoulders, I might have joined in with their protests just because I thought it was the "cool" thing to do (I wish I was joking). What’s more, the members that were banned were actually able to prove much of what they were trying to say- they showed me screenshots, Wayback Machine archives, and other actual evidence to support their points. Dynamo, on the other hand, was deleting threads and banning members left and right; it seemed to me like he expected everyone to take his word for it that he was justified in his actions, without letting them see any evidence that the banned members had done anything wrong. (I confess, I’ve never taken particularly kindly to authority figures that I assume will expect me to just believe what they say without questioning it. It doesn’t excuse what I did later, of course, but I figured it was worth mentioning.)

On the other hand- and I know I’m going to get lambasted for this, but I have to say it- I knew that not everything that the banned members were doing was actually called for, or helpful. Posting threads containing grievances against Dynamo was one thing; many of the concerns brought up were legitimate and needed to be addressed, and if you guys are angry about something, you absolutely have a right to say so and explain why. However, some went so far as to target and outright bash other members and lower staff, which really didn’t help anything.

That’s not even getting into what happened here on Tumblr, either. Now, I know that a lot of people don’t think that off-site behavior should factor into on-site attitudes- but whether or not it should play a part, it does play a part.

When you guys went and gathered on the Saltclan blog for the sole purpose of complaining about what was going on and talking about staff and members behind their back (and continued to bring out some of the staffers’ mistakes even after they apologized), crowded around to call the new staff members names and talk about how the site was going to go downhill because of them, made and spread a meme about an ex-staff member’s behavior prior to the transfer (that ultimately had nothing to do with their conduct as a staffer), or what have you… I felt that regardless of how justified you may or may not have been in these behaviors, all you were doing was, once again, convincing Dynamo that he was in the right. The “heel-realization” that you seemed to be trying to cause in Dynamo, I figured, was never going to happen; and many (if not all) of the members that you were continuing to take a virtual dump on had long since apologized and corrected themselves, so bashing them was pointless, too. (As another aside, while I know defending Romans isn’t exactly a popular stance to take in this community, I did recently talk to her, and she was actually pretty reasonable about everything- she admitted that snapping at you guys was wrong, and that she understood why you guys might’ve been angry at her. She also added that if any of you wanted to address your grievances to her directly, her Skype was live:autmnlights, and anyone that wanted to contact her could.)

I understood at the time that you guys were angry and needed a way to express it, but behavior like that really wasn’t helping your case, I thought.

As a result, I didn’t know whose side I was supposed to be on. I didn’t know who was right and who was wrong, and I was sure that whichever side I chose, the other side was going to despise and demonize me for it. To me, the majority of upper staff, barring Maple, appeared (and still do appear) to believe that everyone who was banned was “toxic”, wanted to see the site burn, and overall deserved not even a shred of empathy; meanwhile, many of the banned members would accuse anyone that displayed even the slightest hint of sympathy towards the staff and/or disapproval of the members’ actions of being a “staff worshiper”, and would ostracize them for the rest of eternity. For the most part, it didn't seem like either side was willing to treat the other as the human beings with feelings and flaws that they are.

So I decided that, rather than supporting one side or another, I had to bring both sides to a resolution. With that, I began meddling in both sides’ affairs, trying to figure out how to manipulate them (yes, manipulate them- I was that conceited and dismissive of everyone's intelligence) into understanding each other.

Eventually, the afternoon of March 10th, 2017, I received a PM from Dynamo politely asking me to stop. However, sick and tired of what I believed to be resistance on his part to my “brilliant” idea (again, I was still riding my high horse), and already in a negative emotional state due to various outside factors, I finally snapped- I took a screenshot of his message, and posted it on the receipts blog for everyone to see, along with a passive-aggressive note stating that his attitude was “concerning” to me.

As a result of that (as well as a few other incidents from before), I was permanently banned two days later- and, by proxy, forced to leave LithiumClan to struggle on its own (for who knows how long), breaking the commitment I made to my friends there.

The truth is, I could’ve avoided all of this. I could’ve let the banned members and the staff either reconcile on their own, or simply go their separate ways. I could’ve let them do as they wanted, only taking action where I was explicitly asked to. Heck, I could’ve even let the matter drop once it was clear that nothing was going to be accomplished; it should've been obvious that taking my anger out on Dynamo by going behind his back wasn't going to help me or anyone else in any way.

But I didn’t. I was too selfish, too haughty for that. I wanted the friendly, loving atmosphere of pre-transfer Feralfront back; I wanted to go back to when every one of my friends got along and had fun together; I wanted to be the “hero” of the story, the one that fixed it all, and I was honestly conceited enough to believe that I could do it.

Instead, I only made things worse, and failed at the one job I was actually supposed to do while I was at it.

Everything I did was pointless, in the end. My bull-headed stubbornness to become the “hero” that Feralfront and its surrounding communities “needed” after having been a member for over five years… all of that blinded me to the fact that what I was doing, and the way I was doing it, wasn’t helping the staff, the banned members, or the site in any meaningful way.

Essentially, I let everyone down for nothing- rather than being a hero, I was just a pretentious prick in a dollar-store mask and cape.

I just want to say that I’m sorry. All of you deserved better- the banned members deserved someone who could represent them properly, the staff deserved someone who could talk to them calmly and effectively without acting on impulses, and the LithiumClanners that I left behind deserved someone who would’ve actually kept their promises and done the job they were supposed to.

I won’t be meddling in this conflict any further. Whether you all want to reconcile, or simply cut your losses and let things stay broken, is ultimately up to you.

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you luck- and I love all of you, even if I never acted like it.

-Verdigris

#feralfront #ff #feral front #submission

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