#meanwhile Four’s just got him a nice sword

[valec275]

FOUR WASN’T EVEN EXPECTING AN APOLOGY WILD SPENT LAST UPDATE WORRYING FOR NOTHING LMAO

Fucking

Hyrule: Yeah so the little guy wants to see you :)

Wild internally probably: Ah shit our fight yeah he probably wants an apology that’s fair I did shove him I’ll go apologise and pray I don’t die

Four: Can’t wait to give the Champion this sword :)

[overlyspecific]

Part 8 of Merlin Hood AU

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12

The room is dark, lit only by a sliver of sun peaking through a hole in the wall when Merlin comes too. A breeze through the dark dank cave causes Merlin to shutter. His wrists ache from being chained in cold iron above his head and the sound of water dripping echoing through the chamber pulls a sorrowful longing sound from Merlin’s scratchy throat.

Merlin: *whispering to himself* Well this couldnt get any worse…

Merlin looks quickly around him for the witchfinder to approach. From Merlin’s experience they usually can’t resist the urge to say something witty like ‘Oh, but it can’ or ‘I was hoping you would say that.’ If Gwaine was there they’d probably bet on which one it would be. Man, he missed Gwaine and Lancelot and Gwen and Arthur. Wait, Arthur! He was in the woods and he was looking for Merlin! Merlin smiled to himself sadly, it was nice to have people who cared about him…even if one of them was a clotpole.

The Witchfinder (Aredian): Oh my boy, there’s nothing to smile about.

Merlin: *sighing* I liked my options better. Why are we even here? Don’t you just want to deliver me to the king and get paid?

Aredian: But wheres the fun in that? Besides the king has some questions for you that he knows I can get answers for.

Merlin: If its about how I manage to look this good when I’ve been living in a forest for years, the answer manages to escape me too.

A bucket of cold water is thrown at Merlin, irritating his wounds. Merlin typically doesnt like the idea of killing anyone, but for Aredian he could make an exception. A small bit of magic sparks itself in Merlin’s abdomen, comforting him before diminishing once again. Merlin groans it frustration.

Aredian: What? No more quips? Did I get the fearsome Merlin to finally shut his trap?

Merlin: *gritting through his teeth* Not likely.

Aredian throws his head back in a laugh and Merlin watches as he brandishes a dagger.

Aredian: Good. The fun is just beginning.

Meanwhile, Lancelot, Gwen and Gwaine are thinking of plans to rescue Merlin at the hideout.

Gwaine: All I’m saying is if you have enough chickens-

Lancelot and Gwen: *monotone because they have heard Gwaine pitch this four times now* -they make for a good diversion.

Gwaine pouts a bit.

Lancelot: Gwaine, we don’t even know where they took him. Merlin has made it pretty clear that he can break out of almost every dungeon and cell they keep him in so I doubt they’ve taken him to the castle.

Gwen: Plus, if he was at the castle, the king would be showing him off to everyone as an example and we haven’t heard anything like that yet.

Lancelot: Gwen, why don’t I escourt you back to the castle so you can try to gather more information. Gwaine can scavenge the woods for anywhere they might be keeping Merlin.

Gwen takes off in the direction of the castle leaving Lancelot with Gwaine for a moment.

Lancelot: We’ve been through these woods a thousand times, there’s only a few places that he could be hidden.

Gwaine: Right. I’ll scavenge the areas and you can send word if Gwen hears anything.

Lancelot: Be careful, Gwaine.

Gwaine: *smirking* When am I not?

Gwaine takes off in the other direction and Lancelot sighs. He really needs more friends that don’t attract trouble like it’s their job. But they are all he’s got and he’ll do anything for them. After a moment, Lancelot takes off after Gwen.

In another area of the forest, Arthur wakes up to in a bed of flowers. The sun is shining high above his head and his chainmail is laid out against the grass next to him, leaving him in his tunic and breeches. Birds are chirping near by and Arthur rubs at his eyes. He feels at peace, but something is wrong. He was supposed to do something or be somewhere. He knows it.

Rustling in a bush catches Arthur’s attention and he gets up quickly to draw his sword. A hooded figure approaches Arthur and raises out their hand.

Hooded figure: Arthur Pendragon.

Arthur: Who are you? Where is this place?

Hooded figure: I have many names but for our purposes you can call me Pirerymus.

Arthur: Pyramus? Like the tragic love story?

Pirerymus: *softly chuckles* No, but it this case it might work just as well. As for your where you are, I’m surprised you don’t recognize this place. It means a lot for your future and your destiny. Tell me, what does it feel like to you.

Arthur: Peaceful, warm, protecting. It feels sort of like it’s watching over me, like if I fell asleep again right here I would safe.

Pirerymus: and when have you felt that before?

Arthur thinks back and has a hard time placing it. He feels safe at Camelot but he’s always a little on edge waiting for the next person to try to kill him or for his father’s disapproving words. The only time he has really felt at ease is when he is with…

Arthur: Merlin.

Pirerymus: He’s your protector and your destiny, but the same applies to you. You must protect him as well.

Arthur: How am I supposed to protect the most powerful sorceror ever? What can I do that he can’t?

Pirerymus: He may be very powerful but he is not a warrior. Not like you.

Arthur: Well, I don’t know how much good that’s going to do now. I don’t even know where he is and I still don’t know where I am or how it connects to our destiny.

Pirerymus: Oh, but you do. He told you exactly where he was.

Arthur: The light.

Pirerymus: Yes. You need to learn how to understand what he is telling you, otherwise you two will never unite the land and bring about the golden age of Albion.

Arthur: I don’t have time for this. He’s in trouble.

Pirerymus: Emrys’s own well-being is not my main concern. You will find in time that he can handle a lot. However, if he loses control the safety of everyone and everything around him is at risk.

Arthur: Merlin would never hurt anyone.

Pirerymus: That may be the case, but if any outside forces got control of even a sliver of his true power they could do a great deal of damage.

Arthur: So, I’m supposed to keep people from stealing his magic?

Pirerymus: You are to protect him when he cannot protect himself just as he does for you. But you will need to work together this to work. Emrys has already opened up to you. Now, you must do the same. Follow me.

Pirerymus leads Arthur through the wildflowers until they get to a small lake and they stop at the water’s edge.

Pirerymus: Tell me, Arthur, what do you feel now?

Arthur: *pauses for a moment to take in his surroundings* There’s something in there. Something calling to me.

Pirerymus: Yes, I would guess so. After all, it was made for you.

Arthur looks back to the field of flowers. Most wildflowers have a cacophony of colors, but Arthur only sees here a very harmonious blue and golden yellow. Arthur closes his eyes for a minute and the calling from the lake grows. He wades into the lake.

[casual-praxis]

Imagine a villainess isekai, but with a vidow twist

Got your attention? Great! So picture this, the plot of the Four Swords manga, but it's some dating sim-type game that's blown up in the modern world. In theory, you'd be playing as Zelda who managed to avoid capture and travel with the colors which are presumably still Link split into pieces.

Of course, you'd have your typical romance routes with each of them, on top of the neutral route which is more of a "power of friendship saves the day" type deal (as well as a "harem" ending that has them fuse back into Link by the end of it), all while dealing with Shadow as a recurring villain, our technical "villainess" in this scenario.

But here's the twist: Vio is the one who got isekai'd.

Instead of becoming the villain, he's become one of the four* love interests for the protagonist--although he's completely uninterested in her or any of the others. He'd actually only played through the game once in his previous life, and even then he didn't really remember if he managed to romance anyone, never mind finish the game.

He was pretty confused when he suddenly awakened his memories while standing in the Four Sword Sanctuary, having just successfully driven off Shadow for the first time with the others. And with that revelation came several thoughts in quick succession.

Namely, "Oh, that's why I never beat the game."

The villain, who had several moments of introspection and a fully fleshed-out character arc, hadn't been a romance option. Not even a dlc or secret route. Which in Vio's (totally not dramatic) opinion, made the game basically unplayable.

So of course he was going to have to fix that himself. Plot be damned, he was going to end up with Shadow or die trying.

Cue up the fourth-wall-breaking shenanigans and hilarity that ensues from someone not at all trying to blend in with the world around them. Vio quickly goes from being the "smart one" to the "unhinged one" as he mumbles to himself about event flags and route points.

He's got a whole notebook dedicated to the most nonsensical gibberish such as "how many times I've talked to x person" and "how long until chapter 4." When prompted about the tallies on the first page, Vio merely shrugs and says he's keeping track of their shadow. Whatever that means.

I like to think the forest scene would be pretty much reversed from the manga canon and instead have Vio be the pursuer. Like, he's just shaking Shadow by the shoulders and rambling. Something like, "I know everything about you and I will kill anyone you want me to. Please allow me to join you."

Shadow, of course, doesn't know whether to be flustered or freaked out, so he settles on the happy middle ground of "lowkey kinda into it."

Within the dating sim's original story, anyone Zelda was on the route for would be the one to meet with Shadow, and she would show up last minute to help fight him off (so no betrayal scene would ever occur). Meanwhile here, Vio takes the first chance he gets to bail on the narrative and begin his plans of total Shadow domination (take that as you will).

Vio ends up being more of a threat than Shadow, on account of his vague story knowledge and general lack of care towards anyone that isn't Shadow (if he's going to be put into a game's world, he's going to treat it as such). He's totally down for overthrowing the big bads, murdering anyone in his way, and ruling the ruined world at Shadow's side. But luckily, Shadow does still have his character development arc, and manages to negate the worst of the damage before it's unfixable.

Whether or not they switch sides or just keep doing what they're doing on a slightly less destructive scale is anyone's guess, I haven't thought that far ahead. This may or may not have been completely incomprehensible, Grammerly has lit the whole thing up in yellow (orange?).

Unrepentantly unhinged Vio is a good flavor. It pairs nicely with "somehow has the moral compass" Shadow. They're an odd pair, but as time goes on, it becomes pretty apparent that they're equally obsessed with each other. This can only end well.

[fourswords]

tell me ur thoughts on minish cap link plss. u have such good takes

oh my boy....i have so many of them. for starters i think his serious/angry demeanor is something he's had his whole short life. like do you know how there just seems to be a specific brand of children that are like little walking talking professional adults. i think he's been like that since the day he was born. i also think he lost his parents when he was too young to remember them (probably to a disease or smth that passed through hyrule town) and that's why it's just him and his grandpa and people tend to think that that's why he's so serious all the time but no. he's just like that. he doesn't even really care about not having parents outside of idly wondering what would be different if they were still there sometimes but i think he's one of those people who just has a sort of "if it's not something i can fix then there's really no use in thinking about it when i have other things i could be doing" mentality. he's got grandpa and that's always been enough for him.

since he and zelda canonically went to school together i really like to think it was one of those things where zelda basically just attached herself to him like a leech and refused to be shaken off because everyone but him was too intimidated by her princesses status to be her friend. and also because since grandpa smith and king daltus are good & old friends ("He and King Daltus are friends and enjoyed a pleasant rivalry as youths.") i think that she actually would have met smith before when he came to visit the castle (link didn't want to go because the thought of hanging around a castle while his grandpa hung out with his friend sounded boring) so she meets his grandkid and she's like "!!!!!! NEW FRIEND" and meanwhile link is just sitting there like. Get off my arm. What are you doing. which is so far removed from the "uhhh yes princess zelda no princess zelda bye princess zelda" treatment that she was getting that it just motivates her even more. and obviously eventually they do become great friends!

speaking of link and school though... in the game when you go to the school the teacher mentions that she hasn't seen link in a long time and that it was good that he came back which makes me think. okay either link is skipping school solely for the sake of this adventure, his grandpa is LETTING him skip school for some reason or another, or link is skipping school in general (maybe because of something like zelda getting pulled out to study more in-depth about princess things with her private tutors?) and grandpa decidedly Does Not know about it. and since link and smith live in south hyrule field instead of in hyrule town itself it may just be very easy for link TO skip school. either way i think it's hilarious. maybe he sneaks into the castle to visit zelda sometimes like how zelda sneaks out of hyrule castle to go visit him? that one sounds likely.

AND speaking of zelda sneaking out to drag him to the picori festival i think that this is something she continues to do for their whole lives. link is bound and determined to hole himself up and do nothing but work on swords sometimes when they're older (or he just forgets that he's a person who needs to Eat and Drink and whatnot) and zelda just kind of. kicks down the door like HEYYYYY YOU'RE COMING WITH ME TO GO LOOK AT THIS COOL ROCK I FOUND IN THE GARDENS <333 and link is like. couldn't you have just. brought it here? and zelda is like NO <333333333 and drags him there. like so

(the minish cap manga isn't something that i think really Adds anything to the story like the four swords adventures manga or the skyward sword prequel manga and as such i focus more on the game and its storyline instead, but it was nice to finally read through the manga and see So Many Of My Ideas For Link Reinforced. VINDICATION)

as for his adventure.... i really do think link took zelda getting turned into stone and him failing to do anything about it really really hard. especially since his grandpa told link before they left the house to look after her but mostly because she was his first and only friend and he failed her. his inner dialogue is so genuinely distraught when you (as the player) interacts with zelda-as-a-statue and it's genuinely so sad to see. like the equivalent of when ss link started crying when ss zelda sealed herself away to sleep for thousands of years. and tbh i think that's really when his angry-looking demeanor turned into more of an angry personality. or maybe not angry, per se, but definitely determined to a fault. i think he did all the game's sidequests but he always did so (at first at least) in kind of a rushed manner, y'know? and tbh i think ezlo kind of helped to slow him down a little bit despite the fact that ezlo was always the one to be urging him onwards—ezlo would be like "hurry up you lazy boy!" and link would get so irritated that he would slow down on purpose. like a sort of "WELL NOW THAT YOU TOLD ME TO SPEED UP I'M NOT GOING TO DO IT >:(" and it goes a long way for cooling his Rage levels down to just Grumpy levels.

meeting with the minish helps him out as well to act less like a Haggard Adult and more like the kid he is! they're all so warm to him that he literally can't find it in himself to deny them when they invite him in for a cup of berry juice or something. one thing i liked about the manga is that it had link help out with the restoration of the broken pieces of the picori blade into the white sword, and i'm absolutely integrating that into my mc link belief system. i also think that he nags melari and his disciples like crazy because he doesn't know whether or not he'll ever get the chance to ask them about things again. immediately after his adventure, without ezlo around, he can't shrink down to their size anymore BUT he can still see them even when he gets well past the age limit. he's not called the hero of the minish for nothing! and i love to think that eventually he figures out a spell to shrink on his own.

as for him and the four sword....i think one big thing about the four sword that not enough people take advantage of in writing about it is that it's an elemental sword. the master sword is a sword of the divine but the four sword is made from the pure essences of the earth and wind and fire and water and even the gods themselves know the power of the elements and all that they bring (did demise not call down lightning from a storm of water and wind to aid him in his battle, instead of using his own dark powers? did the golden goddesses not use water to flood hyrule to wipe out the darkness staining the land? was the power of the master sword not granted by the sacred fires?). so i like to think that when link finally brought together all four elements and the picori blade finally became The Four Sword it was something he could feel all the way down to the core of him—the earth under his feet, the wind in his lungs, water in his blood and a fire in his heart. it's how he was able to get to vaati so fast when the time limit part happened—the elements themselves were aiding him, in their own way. and i like to think that some part of him can still feel that same sort of guiding sway even after sealing vaati away and leaving the four sword behind—it's more distant, but he always knows the moment his fires reach the right temperatures to work with in the forge, and if he closes his eyes while walking on land or on the cloud tops or while swimming in the water he always somehow finds himself at his intended destination no matter what.

but also, and i've brought this up before a few times (and it's an idea that isn't set in stone for me, just something fun to think about), but i reallyyyyy think it'd be so fucking interesting if the four sword's splitting of its later wielders came not from any interference with its magic from vaati but from it reacting to a wish from mc link: that he didn't have to fight alone. no matter how brave or scrappy or angry he is, he's still just one very young kid against all these monsters (and VAATI, who was, at that point, very close to matching the strength of a god as a result of absorbing so much of the light force. he even transported link to a Special Place that went on seemingly forever for the final battle, just like demise did with ss link). i think there would be some tiny part of him that wished that someone was there to watch his back, no matter how capable he might have grown to be. maybe he looked at the identical, transparent copies of himself while fighting vaati and went "why do they always have to disappear the moment they get hit?! why can't they be solid like me and actually help me FIGHT?!" and the four sword heard that and was like "you got it little man 👍" and then because it's just made up of the elements and doesn't actually have any sort of conscious spirit like the master sword and fi it just. split the four-who-are-one and fs and fsa link's entire souls into four HAHA

back to thinking about him and zelda, i think that they would be kind of nervous at the next annual picori festival because of the way things went down the year prior, but once the festival goes off without a hitch this time they start to relax again. i also think they hold hands the whole festival but it's not because of what the surrounding townspeople are thinking ("ooooh they're such a cute pair <3 the sweet little princess and her stoic little hero <33") and more because it's a reminder to both of them that zelda is no longer a damn statue lmao. i think it was as bad on zelda's side as it was on link's side because zelda literally admits she was having visions of link during his adventure in both the game and the manga. she was conscious for that whole thing to some degree. i think she gets even MORE energetic (which didn't seem possible to people before) after the whole shebang just because she can move around again and i think that link puts up a LOT less of a fight when it comes to letting her drag him around places too. and he smiles more often after his adventure! to the great wonder of the townspeople and the great relief of his grandpa LMAO. and i think zelda starts nagging him about wanting to go climb the giant vines that touch the sky and meeting zeffa and visiting the wind tribe and so that's exactly what they go do. one of the greatest joys in life is chasing your best friend around on top of a cloud with the wind at your back!

eventually he outgrows the hat ezlo made for him and i think he gets so so so sad about it (not outwardly but. zelda and his grandpa can still tell) so zelda asks him if she can turn the hat into another article of clothing for him instead and he agrees. and she makes him another hat in its place that actually fits him now and he gets so happy about it.

i do think he also wears that roc's cape of his all the time too because thinks it looks super cool. not that you can tell because. again. he's still got the world's angriest resting face <3

[ask-paradox-and-friends]

Welp. If there was a god of war style game based off our Einherjars.

Two things.

One the games are built like the Norse saga. So more rpg elements more open world. With stories and funny moments.

The hero would be Göll who thanks to time hijinks (aka stealing Cronous's sickle hoping to help save mortalkind from hell and heaven) finds herself unable to get to heaven but she can get stronger and stronger with more godly ascension as she gains new titles and roles as she helps the champions and because the gods are dicks she has to find various weapons and powers the contain the powers of the heros.

There will be two sagas.

The monster saga:(Hell opened up and is causing mayhem and goll works with the heros powers and weapons to defeat the monsters and demons.)

The heaven saga:(goll became a god and made the champions the new gods of mortal kind meanwhile various gods are trying to kill her cause goll kinda uprooted heaven's dynamic.)

But here we go. Hardest boss fights. And why. And again, just random ideas. For a game idea. If you want, I can make the easiest fights? And these are what it's with what I know about these fandoms and mythologies, so plz be nice.

10:æta (the monster Saga) this is a massive troll that's resistant to the weapons Goll should have for this story being bun's claymore Ruby's Scythe and Paradox's battleaxe while wearing Garou's gauntlets it's also immune to the only fire and ice spell Goll knows. Dosent help it's huge club hits hard.

9:nukalaweve (monster saga) this large demonic centaur is a oceanic deamon so it's resistant to fire and dark magic it's also really quick. Thankfully it is a big target and using Pico's rifle you can hit the monster from long range.

8:Set (the god saga) the EGYPTIAN GOD OF CHAOS is good at magic and spear fighting WHO KNEW? Dosent help that he is also a storm and desert god so he can whip up sand and lighting to blind and blast you back. Be prepared to get poked. A lot.

7:The helldrake (The monster Saga) It's a gaint f u metal dragon powered the soul of a deamon and is a deamon engine, so it's powered by chaos To make this one worse, it's just the random broken bits of various broken deamon engines held together by sheer spite. It's also chaos undivided, so you have poison tendrils boiling blood and a shit ton of magic. Dosent help it's fast. Thankfully, you have Sunblood's anti mater Singularity canon, which, if you aim right, just melts it's health (looked them up. Gonna say this now. These things better be rare.)

6:Tezlapoka (the god saga) the Aztec jaguar god whos in charge of darkness. So it's immune to your only fire attack and Dearil's shadows so and being a night god he'll randomly make the whole area go dark making it harder to see him and at half health he makes a large dark black sun that starts coating the floor in fire.

5:Be'lakor (god saga) a deamon prince with the powers of the runinous four. And you did just fight Abadon the Neverchosen and his fire horse. To make the problem worse half way through the fight he just steals the sword of Kaine which makes his stronger and gives him new powers also he starts useing his blade of Shadows be glad he has that glowing chest scar. (If you played total warhammer this would be a major 'OH COME ON!' Also you should know this is a problem when the chaos god literally stop fighting just long enough to trick you into killing his ass.)

4:The Tarasque (monster saga) problem one unlike every other time you have to fight a gaint monster you don't have a gaint of your own. (The helldrake you have a mech to help hold it off the chaos dreadnought ambush ruby sends her 'eldest baby' who is a large trynaind that both Penny and Weiss coated in armour and guns to help you. Before you ask she named it Numnum) this thing is bigger then a building. And between the scorpion tail and the fact it's a 'dragon' it barfs fire on you. Thankfully between Jaunne's sheild and Mai's spears it's weak light based attacks. (It got beat in the myths by saint Martha who splashed Holy water on it then whacked it with a crucifix.)

3:amaterasu (The god saga) the sun goddess of Japan is simply testing you so she is holding back but you are forced to use Naruko's rope dart Kaito's sword and Saito's gun blade to hold her off due to her wanting to see what they can do. Thanks to you having Tsugu's cloak you should have a teleport dodge and a fire resistance. But be warned. She will absolutely whack you around with her prayer beads and chakrams.

2:The Crystal Hydra (the monster saga) this post game boss fight has a lot of loopholes to go through. You need all the weapons find a secret dungeon kill the other hydra bosses and the whole time goll will fell a odd feeling that being Paradox (the man who flipped off a sun god roasting him and laughed at death and destruction gods trying to kill him) being terrified of this thing. It's immune to everything by Holy and dark magic and has high hp and defense. It also has 3 heads that won't let up. Half health it and it's skulls start flying like made and loose the darkness weakness and somehow they still are durable and the heads can revive each other and they HEAL (bonus they're immune to most magic.)

1:Uranus (god saga. Look I don't want to jib God of war and record of ragnarok by having the bbeg being ra Odin or zues. And themeing here is fun Uranus is the embodiment of the sky and heavens. So the final fight against heaven's corruption leads to you fighting well. HEAVEN) let's see. He's strong enough to scare The titans who nearly killed the Olympic gods and was created to be Gaia's equal. Gaia like Nyx and tartarus scares the shit out of the gods. You need everyone and everything you can get. H A V E F U N

@hazawatsugu @splatoonfan88 (tagging friends.)

[writingsofwesteros]

All I can think of is the fact that Jamie’s son with Stev hates him. He can not stand his biological father, he’s watched as she was pushed aside, forgotten in favour of his twin, mocked for trying to love him while he was obsessed with Cersei, called her for having bastards while he was doing the exact same thing just because he could and his twin said to meanwhile his sweet mother was doing it for love and taking something for herself. He just hates his father. He’s grew up with Tywin as his father at Casterly Rock, he knows he’s the only none bastard child but he couldn’t care and he tells Jamie this to his face, he tells him about how he honestly wishes he was Tywins child, how he prayed to The Seven everyday for it to be true for him to truly be Tywins bastard status or not, how he prayed that Tywin would never forget him, never leave him like he has, always love him just like his own children and he got all of them wishes but one. He will never forgive Jamie for what he’s done/said to Stev it doesn’t matter how many tables he turn or how many bridges he mends, how he grew to be a nicer man, he’ll never be his father, Tywin is. “You’ve had four children, and not one of them has loved you as a father.” Jamie has tears clouding his eyes because he realised he’s lost his chances of ever knowing his only child he’s allowed to show love too, to hold and kiss goodnight, to teach how to sword fight and to nurture, he lost it all without ever truly having it. Tywin sat with him that night, never said anything, just sat with him giving him some tea. Stev and his siblings came in after and they all just had a nice calming night together, giggling at nothing, joking about, being a family and he realises that he does not need Jamie when he has his father and family here.

!!

I can't add anything to this masterpiece !!! This is so lovely, sweet and heartbreaking !!

[convxction]

ooc. breaking news, i will rant. *fixes glasses & eyebrow raises for seriousness*

first of all, how... THE FULCUK DARE YOU INTELSYS NOT GIVE ME CHROM AND EMMERYN DUO HUH??????? I HAVE BEEN BEGGING FOR YEARS... JUST GIVE IT TO MEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AT LEAST LISSA!!!!!! OR WITH FREDERICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AT THIS POINT YOU'ER MAKING ME RENEW MY PASSPORT JUST TO COME AND START A STRIKE INFRONT OF YOUR COMPANY! ...just give me chrom with someone else beside robin ;;a;; lucinaaa????? VAAAAAAAAAIKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sobs....uuughhh.....someone else please..........chrom has many supports....please....i beg of you.... i love c/hrobin but cooommeee oonnnn ;;a;; on my spaghettis knees.....

*fixes the problem*

jokes aside. i like the arts. everyone is adorable and makes you think about how a four years old is going to murderize you with that big ass axe she got.

respect the liz. respect the toads and frogs she leaves in your tents.

now let me look at the lines and whatever curve lore balls they have for us. and ofc i will be checking jp, too because i always say this my krumb and my awakening muses in general are mix of both.

already with pain.

in jp robin is a bit...clueless to why she on reflex hide her hand. or the vibe i get. like is the brand visible at that age? does she know what it means? did the grimleal tell her or her mom or dad??? aaa...the brand topic is just the chef kiss to make my brain go brrr lets think. also this is a child, not the older version avatar. obviously, she got baggage she still does not fully understand--why her brand gives that bad vibe and everyone is always EYES EMOJI at it. not the greatest pressure to grow up with sobs.

listen my dude. you need to tone down how 'idiotic' chrom looks. please. intelsys we get the whole idiots can be adorable but sometimes u push it a little bit too far and it gets repetitive and boring. in jp it is clearly he is more interested in the fact there are different kinds of 'girls'. meanwhile, in english hes like 'wow cant believe girls exist ugh' this is why i dont trust localization easily. tbh his jp line can be idiotic too but if you think about chrom and his circle of 'girls friends/ associate' are limited to his sisters then you can understand why he says something like "there are different kinds of girls huh' also i love that he is saying that to a girl.

chrom: wow so there are different kind of girls, huh, robin

robin: .... haha ... yeah

tldr: chrom is idiot. i can say this. you can't. it is the law here. dont break it.

you mean your sisters-in-la---*shot/stabbed* ...tiny tear because in JP she calls chrom...Chrom-san......... CHROM SAN...............................CROM SAN........... OLDER CHROM HAS SUSTAINED CRITICAL DAMAGE. A FRIEND SHOULDNT USE SAN WITH HIM WHYYYY TINY ROBIN NOOOOOOOOOOO DONT KILL CHROMMMMMMM!!! DONTTTTTTTTT its a nice detail ngl because they are not 'friends' their bond is still on the work and she knows he is a prince so she is being polite...waaa.....

chrom: chrom is ok

robin: ...............chrom......................san.

chrom: ;A; !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

insert your training generic line.

chrom panic mode. gotta stick with his sisters!!!! GOTTA PROTECT THEM!!!!!!

lays on the ground ........ cry. why are you making this child suffer? please.

the fact in jp she is not 100% sure if he is 'good person' is super funny to me LOL listen. with that scowl and big sword she can freely press A to doubt lololol also she is throwing shades at him asking if his sisters are suffering because of him ...--GIRL............listen................we................dont have a defense. true. it is all true. also this actually makes me go ooooooo because i always thought he was rebel when he was a kid. this confirms he is pretty much a troublemaker (to some extent ofc) and robin is already on his BS lol hear me out. a little boy who suddenly saw his country turn upside down in mere months and not only that but people chanting curses and vindication at your father who started a war and lost it; and by default doomed everyone with him. yeah. 'cheerful' chrom was a hard earned phase after that hurt and confusion phase he went through.

still a bakaptain. once a reckless idiot, will always be reckless idiot.

chrom got that 'mature' vibe to him when he speaks no? guess it does not help when you are forced to grow faster after your stupid father fucks things up. ... add him so we can punch the daylight out of him but make him ugly so i dont go IF HE BAD WHY HE HOT HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM cough

oh no...

oh noo.....pain...

聖痕...seiko..stigmata ...stigma huh. if you consider the fell dragon brand a bad omen, then calling it a stigma is not farm off, you know?

禍々しく不吉な… sobs stop.... stop hurting heeeerrrrrrrrr. a child saying they have something on their body that is sinister and ominous is not fun guys ;a;

also confirmed chrom is idiot.

robin: i have something sinister on my body...

chrom: WOW COOL SAME HAT? THATS WHY WE WERE TOGETHER~

robin: km pls

deep fried sigh ... let👏her👏be👏happy👏damnit!!!!👏👏👏👏👏👏

hmm ... i prefer chrom's line in jp because it does fit his mindset of wanting to help emmeryn and not just 'have to'.

cries. robin's love for books is adorable waaaaa.

unknown footage of chrom reading some books she recommended. help me they are cute.

also chrom wanting to be a strong man .. hehehehe buddy let me tell you that you will be the stronkest of them all--WALL CRUSHER!!!!!

i told konkon that what if they did meet (in a parallel world) when they were kids and chrom's dad finds about chrom's new friend and perhaps wanted to use that in his favor etc etc etc ... FATHER WHY MUST YOU BE AN ASSHOLE???????????????????????????????????

what if.... they actually meet .... but naga is like nah too soon. erase their memories because of the previous idea^^^ dad might abuse this friendship sobs ...

i mean naga already intervened a couple of times but not to the extent that she can 'change' things directly so perhaps the use of the brand or someone she can ....uuuh communicate with???? i might want to think about this hmm ~ i feel like naga does have more 'power' or like ...uhhh... things going on but we don't see all her plans.

oh and emmy and frederick convo ;u;

nobody deserves emmeryn ... or frederick ngl. MY MAN WILL KEEP COLLECTING DEM PEBBLES AND PEBBLE CHROM'S ENEMIES WITH THEM AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAA!

i love my awakening children ;u;

[casliveblog]

Custom Toonami Block Week 169 Rundown

Spy X Family: It’s a Bond and Loid adventure this week and I’m still never quite sure what the relationship is between these two, like they make it explicit Loid doesn’t know Bond has precognition and he hilariously chalks everything up to Bond using ‘smell’ to sense things regardless of how implausible that is, but he also thinks nothing of taking him on missions and stuff and does know he’s a Data Dog so idk if he’s just oblivious and has really strict training for housepets or is actually intending to take him in the field as an operative. Still it’s funny watching him try to help people and not having Loid understand what he’s doing like Anya can, emphasizes their relationship without her even being there. They also break into a burning building to save a puppy and with all the fluff on him you’d think he’d go up like a haystack but he only gets a tiny spark after he’s already left, they probably should’ve dumped the water on him before he went in rather than after he got out but there wasn’t much time and deflated Bond is still amusing enough to even get a laugh out of Loid. They catch the arsonist and like it isn’t very hard like he wears a baseball cap with FIRE written on it and carries all his oil and matches in a duffel bag and stands there to watch the place burn like how is he not caught already. It’s very sweet that Anya finds out and gives them a little award ceremony despite them not being able to tell anyone, and Loid telling Bond being Anya’s dog is his most important mission is very nice. Also apparently this is the season finale, I was REALLY not paying attention because I thought I had a couple episodes left but guess that’s it until the movie, looks like I’ll have to find two new shows for next week.

Inuyasha The Final Act: We kinda cut around a lot of semi-relevant filler arcs in this episode, like this is the closest we get to a breather episode in this season and it still is speedrunning like four different storylines. Firstly the most relevant at the beginning and end of the episode, Totosai senses Tokijin broke and Sesshomaru’s the minimum requirement of 20% less of a dick than he used to be so Tenseiga will allow him to murder people with it now. I always felt kinda weird about this because Meido Zangetsuha is a legit amazing ability and really cool but the point of Tenseiga was originally to keep Sesshomaru and Inuyasha in balance and while there is room in that for Sesshomaru’s character growth allowing some power creep the fact that it’s never been mentioned does make it feel like quite the retcon. Meanwhile as Kagome heads home and hears the incredibly important end of the Shikon Jewel story that has again never been mentioned before, she just kinda decides fuck school and goes back in time again. Like I get they play it off as Kagome being an impatient teenager that never listens to her grandpa but it feels like this again should’ve come up at some point given Kagome’s been searching for this thing for the better part of six in-world months. Lastly we have two Shippo filler episode arcs back to back with him playing pranks on the guys to go up meaningless ranks in a fox demon advancement exam which is mostly just funny how hilariously quickly Shippo’s willing to turn on his friends for numbers he admits are basically meaningless, though it does give him something to do for the Yashahime Timeskip so that’s nice. Also the transition between these two arcs is really blnk and you’ll miss it because I sure as hell missed it but there’s another ‘Shippo gets a girlfriend’ arc where the sexy girl with the counterfeit energy-stealing sword he’s chasing turns out to be a male badger doing a G.I.R.L. scheme on him and it mostly just ends up being a setup for the REAL Dakki which Inuyasha knows will somehow be important in some unexplained way just by looking at the fake. Man it’s real easy to get whiplash with how quick these Final Act episodes jump from point to point and like don’t even establish where they are in some cases like Sesshomaru and Totosai just kinda show up in the sperm demon dome without explanation to test the Meido Zangetsuha like I guess I prefer this to twenty episodes of filler between each plot point but there has to be some kind of middle ground, still the story is pretty solid when it’s actually moving, just a little disorienting.

Castlevania: Trevor’s gotta go on his first little D&D quest and like three collapsing floors that I’m not sure how the other guys got around given they were completely intact and led to the same place but it’s funny watching Trevor fall on his ass, guy’s got some real Jack Sparrow energy. But yeah he kills the Cyclops and they do the ‘the boy was actually a girl’ thing you see in like half of the Naruto filler arcs and a bunch of other dear horse things and idk really why they do it here because it’s not a shock for the audience to go ‘why did you assume it was a boy? #feminism’ like it usually is, it’s just kind of a worldbuilding thing that the Spakers are mildly sexist which is okay I guess but also makes me like the group we’re supposed to be saving a little less. Sypha thinks there’s still ominous shit down there to get but Trevor sees all the modern tech and is like ‘this is Dracula’s weird science shit, gonna get out of here’ and they at least agree to go tell her grandfather she’s alive before going to risk her life again. After he drops her off the church picks Trevor up and Frollo comes to see him like ‘bro just gto, you don’t have to do anything but leave I don’t want your video game protagonist shenanigans in my town while we violently murder the peace monks in the name of our merciful god okay?’and of course Trevor immediately goes back to get said peace monks back down into the D&D dungeon and ends up fighting off the angry mob. But also like… why? He could’ve just gone down there with them he didn’t need to be there to fight them did he just wanna make his admittedly cool speech? Like that’s a lot of work and several dead bodies to make a speech to some guys that you’re immediately going to kill anyway. I also don’t inherently see the difference between the Speakers adamantly refusing to leave town and then hiding anyway like the townspeople don’t know where they are so functionally they’ve left town like they could’ve just left and came back or some shit and had the same effect, in fact if they leave and still get attacked by demons that’s proof that they aren’t the cause of the demon attacks (also idk if they seem to be making the point that the demons attack everywhere under church rule specifically or if they are just spreading Dracula’s rage indiscriminately like the church gets blamed for it rightly so but also if the church didn’t move into this town and the all became buddists or something I don’t think the demons would do a Passover and not hurt them). But yeah in addition to the angry mob chasing Trevor through the streets we also have demons, so that’ll be fun.

Jujutsu Kaisen: So this episode’s just kinda really cool, the animators have a lot of fun with the colors and the symbolism on street signs and shit like that and it’s really neat. The entire episode is basically Choso versus Yuji and it’s really pretty neat because Choso basically has the better version of the other guy’s Gear Second blood powers in that he’s basically Suitengu from Speed Grapher and can even recycle the blood despite never having to worry about bleeding out. He basically just does a bunch of cool blood shit until Mechamaru gives Yuji a strategy to run into the bathroom and make this a good knuckleduster because all hot-blooded shonen fights end with the two punching the shit out of each other and Choso is apparently like Roy Mustang and can’t get wet because if blood gets too much water in it it’s not blood anymore it’s just dirty water and if there’s one thing a system based on curses loves it’s semantics. It’s kinda funny that both of them come up with the same strategy of ‘I’ll not use my offhand and then punch him in the liver with something from that hand’ and only Choso’s actually works but Yuji has enough shonen willpower to run through it for a bit. I like this fight a lot because by all means this should be a talk no jutsu fight about how Choso feels about his brothers being killed and how technically Nobara killed both of them anyway and they get down to their feelings and shit but Yuji even admits there’s no time for that and just comes out swinging. Eventually Yuji’s dead to rights and bleeding out but Choso miraculously feels a familial connection to him in a weird little cutscene that feels like that scene from Walking Dead where Negan tells Rick to imagine what life could’ve been like if all his friends made it out alive and they’re all eating at a table outside. But yeah I’m not surprised because the Venn Diagram of characters that have weird heritages and shonen protagonists is a fucking circle. Also the school girls find Yuji and are presumably going to stop him from fucking dying.

Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End: We get two little stories this time around, the first is a standard ‘Frieren sneaks around to buy Fern a birthday present’ which is a pretty paint by numbers plot but it is pretty sweet that it reflects Frieren’s efforts to learn more about the people she travels with and take their perception of the passage of time into account, plus it gives Fern a new accessory to mark the passage of time on her travels with Frieren. The second is Frieren training Fern on defensive magic only for it to immediately come into practice against an old demon that was sealed away during her initial travels. Luckily eighty years of collecting spells for tea and flowers have made Frieren strong enough to wipe the floor with this guy. No but seriously they basically wake this guy up, go ‘you’ve been powercrept bro’ and disintegrate his ass, it’s a pretty neat meditation on the ‘a better gun means people make better armor’ type of race between offense and defense. Though if we’ve reached the magical arms race point where the Armor Piercing Disintegrate you from fucking existence spell is ordinary and commonplace idk where you really have left to go from there like how do you get more powerful than atomizing someone. Also something something Luffy kid saw Frieren’s panties.

Vinland Saga: It’s the second half of the season and with the farm’s war with Canute on the backburner for right now we start off with a scene that can only be described as a breakway Slave reenacting the “Then Perish” Obama meme on his master. I figured this out early so I’mma just spoil right here that this is Arnheid’s husband Gardar even though it doesn’t come up until the end of the episode. Meanwhile the group is doing shenanigans at Sverkel’s house while he’s basically wasting away but it gives Einar, Thorfinn and Arnheid some time to bond and let their character developments sink in a bit. Plus Thorfinn is hearing Wolf read the Bible to Sverkel and it just so happens to cut to the passage that’s likely the most relevant to the entire series. It is kinda refreshing to see the series take the pacifism of the Bible so seriously like obviously all the Christian warriors are still murdering in the name of god and shit but with things like Castlevania and other anime and even just real life Christianity it’s easy to get lost in the weeds of how shitty people are about religion and I think Vinland Saga does a good job boiling it down to what people liked about it in the first place aside from it being a convenient vehicle to justify biases and get people to put up with a lot of bullshit on the promise their next life would be better, it really captures the beauty of the Do Onto Others philosophy in a way that a lot of other religious depictions are too cynical to. Still, Gardar murders one of Wolf’s men that has the least screentime and has charged the camp on a desperate attempt to reclaim Arnheid and she does not look happy to see him so there’s probably a story there.

[stargazer-sims]

Meanwhile, on the neighbouring property...

the next property over from where Victor and Yuri are renting, we have some other renters who are experienced horse guys.

This adorable boy is Han Nam-Ji, also known as Nicky Han, who is a member of the idol group Neon World Rainbow.

Nicky is horse-crazy. He grew up around horses, and he currently owns two of his own; Legend and Phantom. Since the band is on a temporary hiatus, some of the members are focusing on solo projects, while others are taking some personal time. Nicky is taking advantage of the break and has travelled all the way from Mt. Komorebi with his favourite four-legged friends.

This quirky fellow is Phantom Melody. Can you guess how Phantom got his name?

And this is Legendary Sword. She's an elite athlete, and has an attitude that lives up to her name.

Legend: Yes, make me look as beautiful as possible! I deserve it.

Most of Nicky's fans know that besides music, his other passion is show jumping, and although his schedule doesn't allow him to pursue it full-time, he and his horses do compete at a fairly high level for non-professionals.

Legend absolutely loves to jump. She says she was born to jump, and that athletic greatness is in her blood.

Nicky: Well done, Legend! You cleared every jump!

Legend: Of course I did. Were you expecting anything less? I am a Legend, after all.

Nicky & Legend posing for the journalists ^^

Being a horse with the energetic trait, Legend can be a little hyperactive at times, but Nicky is used to it.

Nice relaxing rides are also good, but only after Legend has burned off some energy and calmed down.

The other tenant of the property is Naoyoshi Ito, who is also a member of Neon World Rainbow, and a self-styled "punk cowboy". Like Nicky, Yoshi also grew up around horses, although in a somewhat less posh context than Nicky's wealthy show-jumping and polo-playing social circle.

Yoshi's family in Japan owns a farm, where they mostly grow rice, but since they have the space, they also have some livestock like horses and goats.

Yoshi's horse is called Ninja. Just Ninja.

Ninja is good at jumping, but his real strength is his amazing endurance. He's a handful, especially because he can be aggressive, and Yoshi doesn't usually let him interact with new horses, children or smaller animals unless he's closely supervising him. Ninja loves Phantom and Legend, though, and Yoshi is his person. He would fight anyone or anything to protect Yoshi.

Ninja: What do you mean, you don't have any carrots?

Yoshi: What's with the attitude, bro?

Nicky: I think we're gonna love it here!

[three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat]

who are ur links??? names and games and gun facts maybe???

!!!

First, we got First, aka Link from the sksw manga. Sad pathetic wet cat. Wants to go back home to his husband, but is STUCK HERE. He's the tallest Link (by an inch)!

Then Feather (sksw)! His fun fact is that he has the full Triforce, but no one knows that for, uh, plot reasons ig. He also regularly practices the harp, because Fi taught him and well- she's not there anymore. My dearest friend here, Godslayer Fulltriforce, does not understand why the others think he's one of the strongest. Anyway, hey, look at this cool sword he uses! It's a double helix blade, isn't that neat?

Then we have my personal little combo Link- MC/FS/FSA. His fun fact is he never used the four sword to put the colors back together (permanently), and they're all just. Y'know. There. (and Shadow. Freeloader.) The FSA comes in with this cool and fun thing I call CONVENIENT TIME TRAVEL

Then oot, aka Mask, because I am incredibly attached to the name and also that's just how the Links named each other. First notable unique trait. His was the masks, which just chill on his belt and offer mostly unhelpful advice. AMAP (assigned male at princess). Physically the youngest, but oh boy. Who even fucking knows what his mental age is (it's why he doesn't talk).

Then we have TP, who, like most of them, still doesn't have a name. His fun fact is that he's trans, but only because I wanted to make a really bad joke. He's friends with Zelda, but only because he uses her magic fountain to talk to Midna, and after a while it got kinda awkward to just walk into her house without knowing her

Wind Waker, aka Patch! Yes, his name is that for exactly the reason you would expect (he doesn't need an eyepatch, he just has a conveniently placed scar)! He's one of the three Triforce Links (Triforce heroes, one could say-), with both Courage and Power. He doesn't know about Power, and could care less about Courage

Spirit Tracks! Idk. He may or may not be in, depends on if I can find a good playthrough to watch

alttp/oos/ooa/la Link, aka Apple! Hermit apple farmer guy after he (willingly) left Hyrule once and got his heart broken (thanks, Marin). He and his Zelda are good friends (or maybe more idk). Doesn't talk, just stares piercingly into your eyes until you start getting uncomfortable because he looks about one bad thing away from breaking down sobbing

albw/th, Paint- he's a little guy :) half of the storage in his house is Ravio's stuff, and the other half is his wardrobe from Hytopia. I also need to find a playthrough for him.

loz 1 & 2, Wanderer, named thus because he doesn't stay in one place, much to his Zeldas' annoyance! The oldest Link (thats a coincidence, I promise). Everyone is like, wow, [botw], your Hyrule is horrible and filled with monsters, meanwhile he's just fucking crying because it's so nice here, look, the water isn't poisonous and the grass isn't trying to kill us and I can see the sky

HW! My most specialest guy :) I gave him Issues. Your token pyromaniac Link, fell in love with Sheik a la OoT- now both he and Zelda have things they need to think about for a good long while!

Lastly, botw! Truly does not understand what a gender is, even among the many other "has lived in the forest half their lives" Links. Whether or not he's experienced totk depends on whether I like it lol. Takes the advice of his own personal peanut gallery (the Champions' spirits) seriously, even when it's just Revali telling him to do something really fucking stupid. Talks a whole lot, especially to the master sword (he heard about Fi and figured hey why not). His glorious purpose in life is to cook, and if he wasn't so distracted sauteing vegetables he'd be one of the most powerful

[lady-grace-pens]

Hey y’all, I just wrote an AITA post for Matt and I gotta share this shit lmao

It’s a few paragraphs long because uh… oh BOY Matthieu had some shit to talk

Taglist: @wordwizards @flowerprose

•••

Can’t believe I’m fucking doin’ this shit but… AMITA?

So my girlfriend (20F) and I (21M) have been dating for 4 years now. We started talking right after her first boyfriend (came from outta town—real city fella if you know what I mean) ditched her in the most disrespectful way possible. Fucker strung her along for four months of her life, and then just up and leaves her ass without another word.

Anyway, cut to now and rumors say the fucker is back in town. Right. Swell. My girlfriend tries to ignore it for the sake of her well being, but her bitchy little friends who can’t let go of the past want to go on telling her they know what’s best for her, and try and talk her into doing something she doesn’t want to do. Go and talk to the fucker. My girlfriend doesn’t need “closure” from this guy. She’s got all the closure she’s ever going to get from a man who didn’t care enough about her to give her the respect she’s due. Besides, it ain’t like she’s single and still wallowing in her self pity. She’s dating me for fuck’s sake.

I try and convince her to leave her ex alone, and by the skin of my teeth, she agrees. THEN the fucker turns around and wants to start worming his way back into her life again by attending her college and signing up for her club. I fight for everything I can to get her to deny him entry, but she doesn’t listen to anything I fucking tell her. She wants to go on feeling sorry for herself and mope like she doesn’t have a choice but to deal with him. Meanwhile here I am giving her a thousand and one solutions to her problem.

I, like the patient and loving boyfriend I am, settle with her and demand she ignores him as much as possible. She agrees, but you can imagine by now the red alarms in my brain are firing like dixie. So whenever all of us are together (at a party her club is having) of course you know her ex wants to glue himself to her hip chatting her ears up with all sorts of shit, pretending like I’m not even there. That’s when I make a grand display of affection for my perfect girlfriend, the kind that would make my Granddaddy proud, and tell the bastard off. In front of everybody. My best friend has to hold me back from fighting his ass. But then, this is the part I don’t fucking get, is how my girlfriend wants to turn around and pretend like I’M the villain here.

“Oh X, you’re making a scene,” she says. Yeah that‘s the fucking point. Seriously what the fuck did I do?

I force her back home and we argue about it. I feel like she’s cheating on me with the bitch—why else would she defend him? She denies it, claiming how he’s just being nice, so I do the rounds checking her phone. If she really isn’t cheating on me, then she won’t have a problem with me blocking his contact and locking her in her room. I go to bed with her that night, but when I wake up an hour later, she’s not there?? I catch her on the street in her nightwear walking back home.

I swear to God she better not be cheating on me. I can’t even get why she fell for him in the first place. Guy’s the type who wears earrings and prances around with a thin little sword in his hand singing about how he wants to be a pirate. Fucking airhead. Or as he calls it, “artist.” Yeah right. She has the epitome of manhood right here for the taking, but does she ever touch me? No.

Y’all, what am I doing wrong here? Don’t tell me this shit is all in my head. Have I ever done something to deserve this treatment? Am I somehow being an asshole??

[myfairstarlight]

For Every Question Why - Chapter 4

AO3 Link. Previous / Next

Rated T Chapter length: 5k Chapter summary:

Heaven finally has suspicions, meanwhile Janiel realises he probably should have read more on Earth and what it is capable of even without Heaven or Hell intervention.

Heaven.

“You wanted to see me, Raphael?” Janiel says as he walks into Heaven and sees the Archangel already waiting for him.

Raphael hums, motioning to follow her and so Janiel does. Ever since he’s been assigned to Earth, he’s been mostly under Gabriel’s or Metatron’s orders. Raphael oversaw the creation of the galaxy with him but they have not had any reason to talk otherwise and truth be told, getting this summonition was quite nerve-wracking.

Finally, they reach Raphael’s office and the Archangel wastes no time.

“Heaven’s last… endeavour was quite fruitful.”

Janiel only hums at that. He wisely doesn’t point out that the halls of Heaven are still rather empty despite their latest apparent success. God is getting quite picky, these days.

“It took a toll on you, didn’t it?” Raphael continues.

“Out with it Raph, what do you actually want to say?” Janiel says, all pretence falling now that they’re away from privy eyes or ears.

“I’m just looking out for you!” the Archangel huffs. “And during this whole Jesus thing, you came very close to… you know. Insolence.”

“I’m fine! Over it, in fact, just, would have been nice to be told he’d be brought back to life again, I worried for nothing.”

“Well, we couldn’t have risked Hell guessing they were playing right in our plan,” Raphael counters. “And you do talk. A lot.”

Janiel decidedly does not pout. “Not to the enemies. You know me.”

“I do know you, that's why I could tolerate your temperament but Gabriel is different, much less patient,” Raphael concedes. “Which is why I’ve had to take precautions for you. The demon Astrophel…”

The Seraphim tries very hard not to react to hearing that name.

“I dug into him, it was hard when Gabriel and co were too eager to burn the Fallens’ files, but I found a way.” Promptly, the Archangel miracles a parchment into her hand and presents it to him. Janiel cautiously grabs it, willing his face to remain neutral as Aziraphale’s face looks back at him. “He was Lucifer’s last recruit before the War broke out. He also was his unique and precious spy.”

“Spy…” Janiel repeats, not quite sure what he even is supposed to understand from this discussion. They all did their part during the War, after all, they had their own spies — who, now that he thinks about them, probably Fell before they could join Heaven's side again — Astrophel being one on Lucifer’s side is nothing short of unusual.

And it would explain the whole flaming sword thing. Every rebellious angel got their sword taken away, that is, the ones who clearly fought against Her, but if Astrophel was a spy, he never outwardly fought and blended in with Heaven's forces.

However, this also means that, instead of safely hiding away, he purposely joined Lucifer’s side during Judgement…

“I’m just saying, be careful around that demon. Demons can’t be trusted and I’m scared you’re getting too soft on Earth. So if you need a break, to come back to your senses, you still have a place in my department. I’m sure some Principality would be happy to take your place down there.”

Janiel smiles. It’s strained, forced, painful. Raphael had always been a paragon of Grace in his eyes, in all her beauty, wisdom and cleverness. What a disappointment it is, to see her be so full of hypocrisy and immense sense of superiority like the rest of the Archangels.

“I appreciate that, Raph, but like I said, I’m fine,” he assures as he slides the parchment into his robe. “I’ve handled Astrophel and all the other measly demons for four thousand years just fine.”

“Janiel—”

“Now unless God Herself wants me off Earth, I’m happy to still be stationed there. Be blessed, Your Beatitude, and please next time you seek me, be sure to have information I don't already know.”

He doesn’t miss the way she frowns at his sudden exaggerated politeness as he turns around but he doesn’t stay long enough for her to do anything about it.

⋆ ✩₊˚ ʚ♡ɞ ˚₊✩⋆

Rome. 41 AD.

Janiel has just ordered a drink when he hears someone sitting next to him. The angel turns, unsurprised to see Astrophel now sitting there.

“Still an angel, then?” the demon says as a way of greeting but it is a far cry from the usual friendliness his voice carries. Janiel frowns.

“What else am I supposed to be?”

“You don’t want me to answer that question sincerely,” he sniffs.

Janiel marks a pause as he waits for Astrophel to be handed his drink. Perhaps he would be more amenable afterwards.

(In the meantime, he tries not to stare too blatantly at the demon’s plump form and the way the dark toga wrapped around his body leaves almost nothing to the imagination compared to the robes they both wore beforehand. That… is not a very angelic thought, after all.)

“Trouble for an assignment?” the angel inquires. “Anything I could… help with?”

Astrophel sighs before taking a delicate sip of his drink. “On the contrary, the job is too well done.”

“You don’t seem happy about it.”

“Freeze time for me for a moment, will you dear?”

And because Janiel is a hopeless angel, he obeys, snapping his fingers so the whole world stops moving except for him and Astrophel. The demon lets out a pleased hum, with a smile that could almost be described as smug gracing his lips. Then, annoyance takes over again.

“The emperor is a pain!” he complains immediately and for some reason, Janiel can’t help the smile that takes over his lips. “It’s been what, four years? Only?”

“Four years is a blink of an eye for us, that’s for sure.”

“Well, he’s not going to be up there for long, Hell wants me to encourage an assassination now.”

Janiel blinks at that. “Of the tyrannical ruler? You’d think that’s something right up their alley.”

“He’s causing too many deaths too fast if you can believe it,” Astrophel sighs. “And most of these souls go to Hell and we’re short-staffed lately since—” He cuts himself off by taking another sip of his wine, this one more urgent and a little bit panicked.

“... Since?” Janiel prompts.

“I fear I can’t say more.”

“Why not?”

“I am not giving you more insights on what my side is planning.”

“Why not?”

Astrophel groans. The angel sees his hand twitch around his cup and a few feathers pop in his hair. “Seriously?”

“It hasn’t stopped you before!” Janiel argues. “And I’ve given you insights! I mean I let you hold— you know. Her son.”

“You and I both are aware the insights you give me are things that were happening or I was already privy to,” Astrophel argues back. “I knew about the Flood before you. You were clueless about Heaven’s plan for him, too. Unless you did know. But if you did then you yelling at me and accusing me was truly uncalled for.”

“Wh— why are you stuck on that?”

Astrophel huffs, nose turned up and lips pursued in a pout. Well, this demon holds a grudge.

Janiel frowns. “You don’t actually care about that you’re just upset I yelled at you!”

“And you’re doing it again,” Astrophel replies, a hand cupping his left ear.

Seeing his visible discomfort, Janiel swallows and sits back down.

(He hadn’t even realised he got up.)

“I’m… sorry. That whole ordeal… I got too attached… again and I projected my frustration on you.”

A pause. The demon’s hand falls back on the stoned bar. “I forgive you.”

Mm. The words still sting.

“Come on, starlight, can I do anything to make up for it? I just finished an assignment so I have some time to spare.” And more, really, as evidenced by every human around still frozen in time.

“Well…” Astrophel trails off, right hand tracing the rim of his cup. He seems to genuinely think about it, hesitance written all over his face. Janiel is almost readying himself for a prompt rejection considering the unusual tension in the air between them, but then he smiles. A small and shy thing. “I heard of a place that opened up recently that offers oysters. I’ve never tried those before and let’s just say Petronius is an old acquaintance of mine. Would you care to join me?”

“Oysters?” the angel repeats, failing spectacularly at hiding his distaste considering how Astrophel has to quickly cover his mouth to muffle a laugh. “Y-yeah, for sure.”

Astrophel grins, bright and bold and more than satisfied. “Wonderful.”

Janiel feels like he just got roped into a scheme of some sort.

⋆ ✩₊˚ ʚ♡ɞ ˚₊✩⋆

Pompeii. 79 AD.

The next time they bump into each other by pure accident. Janiel can admit that he’s sought the demon’s presence over the years more often than not, with, on rare occasions, Astrophel being the one to search for him. This time, as he just completed a new assignment influencing a merchant to expand into the capital, Janiel sees Astrophel first, standing near the entrance of a temple as she basks in the sun.

“Female-presenting again?” Janiel asks as a greeting and Astrophel barely startles, she only tilts her head towards him.

“Assignment required it, I had to infiltrate a group of seers. They took one look at my eyes and immediately adopted me, the darlings,” she replies, eyes still closed, however. “What about you?”

“Still male, haven’t felt like changing it up in a while.”

“Mm.”

That is another difference between them — Astrophel tended to choose her corporation according to her assignments, taking in the form that would make the work as smooth as possible. Hence why most of the time, Janiel sees the demon inhabit a more male-leaning body. It is always — almost always anyhow — a strategic decision. Her corporations always appear soft, gentle, and harmless, it's easier to lure humans in this way, she told him once, they trust more easily, or they think they can take advantage of her when she's really the one pulling the string. Janiel, on the other hand, changes corporations along with his flights of fancy. Sure, being male-presenting makes most of his assignments much easier to accomplish, especially at the moment when the missions involve influencing some important, rich man. Still, female human fashion is often so much more fun to indulge in, between the pretty clothes and intricate hairstyles! And the jewellery! Oh, how lovely they are, humans have somehow managed to work ores to look like stars. And just because humans — or at least the ones on this side of the Earth — have decided women shall be of lesser importance does not mean they cannot still be heard and Janiel knows how to be heard — and also has the added advantage of being an angel, so.

Sometimes he doesn’t even fully change because, really, what’s the point of the additional paperwork to explain those miracles in his reports, and the default corporation he’s chosen to inhabit was specifically made to be ambiguous anyhow. Always sharp angles and boastful confidence, it brings people in not because they feel safe like Astrophel's approach, but because they’re intimidated by the way he always presents himself so they’re compelled to listen and follow his suggestions.

(It is not exactly foolproof, some humans have incredible egos even without Hell’s influence, but most of the time, Janiel just needs to be bolder, louder.)

All of that to say, Astrophel has always seemed pretty indifferent to this concept of gender humans have come up with, while Janiel very much likes to fully immerse himself whenever he has free time.

“There’s something peculiar, however, and I was hoping you’d be able to help me understand,” Astrophel says, fidgeting with her baton.

“What is it?”

“The seers foresaw a tragedy about to hit the city, they’ve already started to evacuate and convinced most families to go back to Rome as well. However, Hell isn’t planning anything for Pompeii, or else I would not have been sent here. I was wondering if Heaven…?”

“Nothing I heard of,” Janiel replies. “Then again, they don’t tell me everything either.”

The answer doesn’t satisfy the demon who frowns and starts chewing her lower lip. The angel almost reaches out, just to hold her.

“Look,” he starts, “it might be nothing, they’re humans, they have no way of predicting what any of our side can do, maybe they’re just cra—”

“Do not dare call these lovely young ladies crazy, Janiel,” Astrophel huffs immediately. “You have not seen what they can do! So far, all their predictions have been right, we really ought to look deeper into that.”

“Have they been right, starlight, or have you been helping those predictions with miracles?”

“Nonsense! What gain would I get from that?”

Janiel shrugs. “I just find it hard to believe. I mean, you were part of the Human Department, right? It was never in the plans for them to develop a sort of magic of their own?”

Astrophel freezes ever so slightly next to him before she carefully pulls down her dark veil over her face.

“Humans are capable of anything as we’ve learned,” she replies. “Prophecies. They can be really good at those, and yet I’m pretty certain neither Hell nor Heaven has started to randomly bless or curse a handful of humans with premonition. This is all their own doing. I mean, dear, even we do not know what their future entails! No one except Her, which is why it’s so—”

“Ineffable, yes yes, I know,” Janiel sighs. “Still, you’re worrying about a big if.”

Astrophel turns towards him and even through the veil he can discern her star-filled eyes. “Whatever they foresaw… They were pretty terrified, Janiel…”

“Ngk. Alright, I’ll look into it, see if Heaven isn’t hiding something again.”

The demon grins, grabbing his arm to plant a kiss on his cheek. “You’re a darling, thank you!” Janiel stammers, and doesn’t get to say something in return because Astrophel promptly walks away, a bounce to her steps.

Only later does he realise — was that one of her temptations?

⋆ ✩₊˚ ʚ♡ɞ ˚₊✩⋆

A quick trip to Heaven results in nothing. Gabriel assures him they have no plans for Pompeii just yet, and the angel may be a dunce but he’d never miss the opportunity to gloat about Heaven’s plans so Janiel is inclined to believe he’s telling the truth. He still pokes around a bit, quickly skimming through the files he's neglected to read but nothing of importance stands out. Therefore, if catastrophe is meant to hit Pompeii like the seers have predicted, well, it isn’t of a heavenly source.

He finds Astrophel again, this time on the top of the temple, with a pair of birds, one a crow and the other an owl, on each shoulder, feeding them. Janiel flushes as the souvenir of a drunken conversation suddenly comes back to him at the sight of the black bird.

“This is Crowley,” Astrophel says with a teasing smile as the crow perches itself on her finger. “Just like you!”

“So I didn’t hallucinate that conversation,” Janiel mumbles, now having a staring contest with the damn crow. Tentatively, he lets his hand hover next to the owl who bumps its head on the back of it a couple of times before jumping on. “And the owl’s name? Starlight?” he teases back.

“Do not be silly,” the demon tuts. “She’s called Nebula.”

Janiel gasps. “Astrophel…!”

“It’s just a name,” she dismisses, petting Crowley’s head before letting him fly away. They both know what naming anything means for beings like them, however. The things become bonded to them in ineffable ways. Janiel has the feeling he will be seeing that crow and Nebula more often than not, now. The angel is just surprised Astrophel is allowed two different species of bird.

Isn’t there a crow demon somewhere in Hell? Janiel is personally partial to snakes, he’s not quite sure why, but he finds them cute.

“So I poked around Heaven,” Janiel says.

“And?”

“And nothing. If your girls are right, then whatever tragedy they saw, it isn’t from Heaven. They couldn’t be more specific about their vision?”

“You know how prophecies go, very vague, almost poetic as long as you don’t read between the lines. They only said they felt choked up and then complete darkness, which did sound like the Apocalypse but it is about a thousand years too early.”

“Perhaps a test trial for the big thing?” Janiel suggests.

“No, I would have been told so.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I just know.”

That isn’t an answer, but Janiel doesn’t push it because the ground suddenly starts trembling. Nebula immediately flies after lightly scratching Janiel’s hand in her panicked state and Astrophel gasps, promptly turning into an owl herself as the temple starts to crumble down. Janiel spreads his wings, arms reaching for the demon who he safely tucks on his left shoulder before flying higher.

“What’s happening?” Astrophel asks.

“Earthquake.” And oh, understanding downs on them. Heaven and Hell can influence natural catastrophes but Earth is more than capable of causing mayhem on its own, something neither side can prevent. “Wait no, not just an earthquake.”

“Then what is it? You will need to be a bit more descriptive, dear.”

“Right, right, sorry. There’s— the mountain it’s— it’s coming from it. The shakes, the fire—”

An explosion rings out throughout the land as smoke takes over the sky. Janiel immediately stops breathing, trying to even comprehend what’s happening. Astrophel, on her part, freezes, her claws digging into the skin of his shoulder before she abruptly lets go, partially transforming back into her human-like form, feathers protruding still from her skin and hair.

“Janiel!” her voice is frantic like he's never heard before. “Stop time!”

“Wh— Astrophel that won't change anything!”

Astrophel groans. “Then what’s the point of having your kind of power if you’re not going to use it!”

At that, Janiel frowns, unconsciously freezing time around them. “Careful starlight, you sound jealous here.”

The demon huffs. “You did it again, didn’t you? The screams have stopped and the smell of sulphur has gone.”

“I—” He looks down then and it takes everything in him to not gasp as that dark, boiling red sea has already engulfed half of the city. It is odd, to witness such destruction, this time with neither Heaven nor Hell having a hand in it, just… the Earth.

And his and Astrophel’s presence. Perhaps Death truly follows them.

“My girls,” the demon says, eyes flashing for a moment. “They stayed behind, I have to save them.”

But the angel grabs her wrist before she can leave. “That thing has already covered half the city in seconds, starlight, they might already be gone.”

“I have to try.”

“And risk getting discorporated? You know I can’t keep this up for long!”

“Then let’s not waste time, dear boy,” Astrophel smiles, then yanks her hand out of his grip and promptly flies down, disappearing into the smoke.

Janiel groans, already feeling his power flickering even as he promptly follows the demon, lest she immediately die in her hurry. The angel flies across the burning streets he walked only a few moments ago, the heat of that red sea prickling at his feet despite time being frozen. He focuses on Astrophel's demonic essence, feeds from it as he lets his wings carry him where he needs to be across Pompeii. Fortunately, it does not take long before he finds her again, fretting on the eastern side of the city where the molten rock mixture was only starting to invade, a flock of owls safely tucked in her arms although the ends of her robe bear scorching marks.

That was… fast all things considered and the demon barely looks tired as opposed to when the Flood happened and she needed to rest in her owl form for several weeks. Janiel frowns, truly looking, and sensing a grander power in the being in front of him, her demonic aura grander, more poignant, more dangerous too, he should think.

But then that new shining image of the demon he only just crafted in his mind drops as Astrophel suddenly sags forward, prompting Janiel to rush to her side to catch her. Janiel has to stop himself from sneezing as small feathers puff up from Astrophel’s hair at the contact.

“Oh dear,” she whispers, “I may have overdone it. This will be a hassle to explain in the report.”

“You’re worrying about paperwork right now?”

“Mm. So I don’t have to think of the other lives we’re ignoring.”

Guilt strikes Janiel’s heart and instead of replying, he brings them to the nearest mountain before time slips through his wings and resumes. They both collapse onto the ground, facing the darkened sky, and Janiel is thoroughly unsurprised when Azrael appears before them in a cloud of smoke, looking down at them with— well, Death doesn’t really have a face but if they had one, it would bear an unimpressed expression.

It should probably worry him, with Astrophel lying right there next to him and a hand still clinging to his robe, but the Angel of Death is a special being, answering to neither Hell or Heaven and who, frankly, does not care what angels or demons are up to as long as they do not interfere with their work, so there is very little chance they would report this to the bosses anyway.

“Hello, old friend,” he greets, semi-sarcastically.

SERAPHIM JANIEL. DUKE ASTROPHEL. YOU BOTH JUST ESCAPED DISCORPORATION YOURSELVES, I SEE.

“Azrael, how lovely to see you, my dear!” Astrophel grins, even lifting her arms towards Death.

I KNOW YOU ARE JESTING SINCE YOU CANNOT SEE. AND I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE HIDING IN YOUR ROBE.

The demon pouts. “My girls are not dead, you can’t take them.”

Janiel has to blink several times at the sight that greets him afterwards for Death carefully bends down, skeleton hand wrapping around Astrophel's wrist and helping her back to her feet. Then, Death reaches forward for the owls, depositing them, one by one, on the ground before undoing the demon’s miracle. The seers now lay on the dirt, chests rising peacefully in their slumber.

(Janiel also stands up, albeit less gracefully, almost falling back into the dirt once more.)

DEATH IS INEVITABLE, DUKE ASTROPHEL, YOU KNOW THE BALANCE WILL RIGHT ITSELF.

Astrophel nods. “I’m well aware, dear one, just not right at this moment! I’m at least giving you a bit less work, surely you’re not mad about that.”

HEH.

Did Death just laugh? Then, Azrael turns towards Janiel, their long cape obscuring their sorta face but the angel can feel their intense gaze all the same. However, they do not say anything, just nod and then vanish towards Pompeii — or what will be left of it.

Janiel lets the silence stretch for a couple more minutes, gathering his thoughts, before he clears his throat.

“That was… something,” he says, always the one with the right words in any situation.

“Azrael is a darling, I can’t say as much about the rest of their group, Carmine somehow found my sword and refuses to give it back to me,” Astrophel replies. “Could you… take credits for this one, by the way? Saving them? I doubt Hell will take well to me doing this again.”

“Wait, again?”

Astrophel frowns at him. “I was not completely truthful, what did you think? Between Noah and Job, I was not just on soul-registering duty. As if.”

“Astrophel—”

“I’m fine, dear boy, that’s just Hell for you. I did not want you to worry.”

“Why are you so honest in your reports anyway? They don’t keep track of these sorts of things.” He’d know, he’s altered his reports a few times, perhaps just to make him appear better at his job than he ought to be and he’s never received any reprimand for them.

“I’d… rather not risk it, Janiel, even if I did not report it they would notice the seers suspiciously having survived, and saving lives isn’t very demonic, I fear,” Astrophel sighs. “So, if at least you take credits, they’ll hear about it and know why the seers aren’t dead. Please, will you? I know asking an angel to lie—”

“I’ll do it, don’t worry,” Janiel cuts her off. Did she already forget he created a whole elaborate lie to justify Job’s kids being alive? He was quite proud of that whole charade if he was allowed to brag about it. “Starlight, may I?”

It takes a few seconds for Astrophel to understand what he means before she nods and presents her hand. Janiel carefully grabs it, familiarising himself again with the rough calluses and cuts all around the trembling, pale hand.

“I could try to heal you, you know,” he says softly, caressing the back of her hand with his thumb.

“Better not risk it, it’d be a shame if you discorporate me, I quite like this body,” she replies. Slowly, she pulls her hand away. Janiel mourns its loss. “I— It won't be long before Heaven or Hell finds out what happened here now, we should probably… go.”

“Mm.”

“And I need to take care of my girls.”

“Mm.”

And yet they remain, standing side by side, a burning city below them. Janiel dares looking properly at Astrophel’s robe. The dark material hides the ashes but now, the demon’s ankles are showing through the tears caused by the burns. The pale skin is redder as well although Janiel sees no proper injury.

“You could have gotten discorporated, you idiot,” he mutters eventually.

“Do not underestimate me, dear boy,” she chastises, face tranquil as she crosses her arms behind her back. “And you wouldn’t have let me, anyway.”

Janiel reluctantly agrees with a “Ngk”. He should probably… question why he would so readily move time to a demon’s will, and why the demon in question knows that fact, but he’d rather not, right now.

“What now, starlight?”

Astrophel smiles. “We carry on, my dear,” she says.

Janiel nods and in the next moment, Astrophel and the seers are now gone. He also remembers to breathe.

⋆ ✩₊˚ ʚ♡ɞ ˚₊✩⋆

Alpha Centauri.

Raphael rests among the stars. She rarely ever graces Heaven with her presence ever since the War, more interested in bathing in the nebulas she oversaw the creation of. From there, she also has a better view of Earth and she can better keep an eye on Janiel.

For the Seraphim’s Love shines all the way to space, taking up entire patches of land.

It’s a peculiar sight, Raphael thinks, because she cannot recall ever seeing such a strong loving aura around the angel even when he created the stars. What is it about Earth that is so special? So special that he would refuse to come back to the luxury of the Creation Department? Why would Janiel willingly choose to sully his hands on that decaying planet? She scoffs. Ungrateful brat.

(Of course, if she thought longer about it, she would remember her stars were not supposed to last longer than Earth either so if Earth is in decay, so are her beautiful nebulas.)

Still, it intrigues her, that Love, so blatant, so radiant, but she can’t always see it either. Sometimes, decades pass before Raphael gets blinded by it suddenly exploding on the surface of Earth before it dims away until the next flare. Gabriel doesn’t think it weird, nor does Michael who watches Earth with a much more attentive eye, and Raphael knows better than to further question things, so she doesn’t. Angels are supposed to radiate love, the aura is just dimmed in Heaven since the place is already bathing in it, although Raphael has never sensed it to such an extent around anyone else other than Janiel.

(Was Janiel's Love of a different kind?)

It pisses her off too. Janiel is supposed to be one of her angels, one of her best designers too, no other angel could rival his creativity and now he’d rather skip across Earth, accomplish missions like lowly soldiers love to do, rather than do something he’s actually good at and be productive. No, he'd rather have it so simple, skipping around Earth with a careless smile and arrogant disposition.

She sighs, summoning her file on the demon Astrophel before her eyes with a pout. Seraphim Cassiel had profusely apologised when they could not find the demon's original file, surmising some must have slipped away when they sorted through the endless files and none of the other Archangels deemed it important anyway since they could not influence the minds of the Fallens anymore now that years have passed and Satan’s power has grown to protect his own. However, Cassiel did mention that Janiel had helped them during that process and that ticked Raphael's curiosity.

Astrophel, she reads with a sneer, the demon dares to call themself after her stars? And is somehow standing as an undefeated adversary against a Seraphim? That does not make sense. It cannot make sense.

Perhaps she should be present when Janiel reports back to Heaven next. Perhaps she should be more involved. Something's not quite right, and she's never liked not knowing.

[unearthlytwilight]

sorry for the delay, art happened

Four-Fanged Offense: Linus edition!

no Pent. he's busy with travel time espionage stuff

Eliwood learning about borders as social constructions like

(from Lloyd's version, but I like it and it's my playthrough. so)

Legault screentime? yes give it to me

a wild Nino appears! she's running messages for Sonia, but wants to do something fun with the brothers once they're off work. she leaves, and Lloyd says she's a nice girl. Linus agrees and says it's hard to believe that Sonia's her mother. haha about that

they notice Eliwood and co., and Lloyd goes off to get reinforcements, telling Linus to not do anything stupid. Linus waits until he leaves and tells henchguy Igor that they're attacking. he says to try to keep the fighting out of the villages

note: bring Dart to recruit Geitz

oh, Heath. my homesick little murder machine. I love you. we are getting that B with Kent immediately

Geitz's recruitment is Dart recognizing him and asking him what he's doing. Geitz has daddy issues and says he's wandering before asking Dart if he can join. Dart says OK. prepromote Berserker acquired!

nice little worldbuildy details about the Black Fang

cutscene time! Nino complains that she wants to be fighting evildoers. Jaffar rolls up to the house late. Nino says this is weird, and he says that something delayed him. Nino is shocked that he's super bleeding everywhere, but he asks for the next mission and then collapses. oops

(you can actually visit the house. Nino asks whoever visits to keep their voice down. it's implied they ask about the Black Fang, because she denies knowing about them and yells at them to get out)

this guy wears Black Fang clothes, but is "a loyal citizen of Pherae". also he gives you a Silence staff. cool, thanks man

Murdock cameo!

first instance of the Black Fang boss theme, Softly with Grace. more on that naming later

...you've met Sonia, dude. if she had any more red flags she'd be marching in a Soviet parade. heck, she probably does in her free time

normal battle dialogue. interesting stuff

... and he dies! shouldn't have existed around Heath and equipped a sword, my dude. this is all your fault

supports obtained:

Lucius + Raven B + A

Eliwood + Ninian A

Erk + Priscilla C

Linus takes Eliwood hostage to do one last murder, which is bad because that's a game over.

honestly a pretty cool moment. I really like it!

a lot of conventionally "badass" guys snap off a pithy one-liner or are otherwise defiant when facing certain death, but Eliwood makes a pretty good case for quiet confidence

anyway! he says that he noticed that the mooks tried to keep the battle out of the village and asks why they're fighting, since they're both good people

note: when Linus lets him go, Eliwood says "What?!" implying he wasn't expecting to be released. man was totally ready to die for his friends and didn't even blink. moments like that are why I like him so much. he's not as loud as Hector, but I'd argue that he's just as brave

Linus backs off, sensing that Weird Stuff is happening, and resolves to go ask Brendan about it

(also in this chapter: Nino and Jaffar! he asks her why she didn't follow "the law of the Fang" [read: kill the wounded and skedaddle]. notice the quotes. anyway he starts bleeding again and she asks him not to die.)

unfortunately for Linus, Limstella teleports in and kills him. rip dude, I like your chapter better than Lloyd's

wow that got dark immediately. suicide is not the answer (also murder is not the answer)

meanwhile, in Bern, the happy royal couple. Hellene takes a couple shots at Desmond for putting her and Zephiel outside the palace and shacking up with some lady. though she's mean to Guinevere :(

title drop! this game's Fire Emblem is a big ol' gem Bern has that's necessary for the coming-of-age ceremony. so that's a problem. Hellene says it's his fault and asks why he sucks so much

Desmond peaked in high school, prove me wrong

the detail of her moving to the right is a nice touch!

Louise girlbossing for the greater good

a royally sponsored fetch quest. interesting

next time: yet another support episode!

[3d10fire-damage]

Colors That Run Highlights 62

a nice little game of dominoes :)

Fea and Sven charged up to the group of Calamity guards (four nabassu and the one marilith) and prepared to attack if they needed to-- Sven specifically readying a breath weapon attack to catch all four bad guys in one go-- and then Calypso got very tense. She got this dark look in her eye as a chaotic impulse overtook her, and beelined for Avi. Not wasting a second, she landed one good punch between his shoulder blades, stunned him, and snarled, "you hurt her, I hurt you." Then she grabbed him by the shirt and threw Avi right into the River Xarx.

Combat then began properly. The marilith repeatedly tried to snap sense into her nabassu comrades, slowly succeeding as the party wore them down. Not to say the party wasn't taking a shitload of damage from them all the while-- though there were a couple of times where the necrotic damage from the nabassu attacks actually healed Fea. Meanwhile the flow of the river began to carry Avi downstream even as something very important was pulled away from him from the touch of the corrupted waters.

Fea maneuvered her way to the shore, heading for Avi. But Calypso was still not in her right mind and actually attacked Fea on her way past. Behold, a twisted version of true love's crit:

Fortunately, Calypso doesn't have the Sentinel feat (yet?) so Fea still got to Avi and managed to reach into the water and pull him out. But of course, in doing so the river touched her and she, too, had something integral ripped away from her. The shadows that make up her dog Augustus erupted from her mask and dissipated into nothing.

Calypso was then able to use Stillness of Mind to come back to herself fully, and immediately began to feel Horrible for what she had done. Swearing anxiously under her breath, she cast Healing Word on Avi, who ambled away from the shore and had a lie down outside of the combat taking place. Kattie and Valor held down the fort as best they could with their usual Destructive Wave and longbow badassery, though they were a bit stunned by the turn of events.

In her following turns, Calypso tried to work through some of the fresh emotional hell hitting her by hitting the nabassu. Meanwhile, Fea was... strangely happy. Joyful, even. She stepped up close to Calypso and began hacking away cheerfully at the nearest nabassu, deriving such joy from making him bleed that she was... giggling and laughing. Unhinged, untethered. Calypso was unnerved.

One of the nabassu hit Kattie for a lot of damage all at once, which had the effect of switching out the person in the driver's seat, so all of a sudden Kattie had no idea what was happening. She did her best to catch up and still assist in the combat, having to puzzle out who to trust and who was dangerous.

Fea was taking a lot of damage as well, and if not for her healing herself with her rapier and Calypso guiltily healing her with Inflict Wounds, she would have gone down and this combat would've been even worse. Fea had literally dropped to one hit point. But she was still just giggling, even as she swayed on her feet. Thankfully, the group and the marilith managed to get three of the nabassu back to their senses and the fourth one KO'd, so there was a moment to breathe.

But not really. Fea dropped her sword and started walking toward the river. Kattie tried to stop her with Levitate, but Fea made the save and kept going. Calypso ran up and tried to grapple Fea into motionlessness, but Fea overpowered her and grappled her instead. And then pulled Calypso into the River Xarx with her.

Calypso's holy symbol of Leawei, the dianthus she keeps around her horn,withered until none of it remained. So now both of the group's clerics had no access to their cleric magic. Kattie got the hell away from the river and asked Valor to explain what was going on. Valor was rather exasperated, and after summarizing the events of the day, said she was pretty close to simply leaving Calamity altogether. Avi joined them and appeared to not have any recollection of ever having clerical magic, and insisted he was simply an astronomer. Valor just became more baffled.

Calypso, getting to be overwhelmed, griped at Valor for being little help re: Fea and the river. She then worried at Fea for hitting her, though Fea didn't seem to understand the issue. Then there was an exchange with Calypso and the Calamity guard that was rather... hostile (Calypso was kinda yelling at everyone), and at first the marilith was going to leave the group but then decided to help them to shelter for the night-- the shelter in question being a cave.

Once settled in the cave with a campfire, the marilith introduced herself as Zora and gave the group some information about Calamity's recent issues. She recounted that the Abyssal Champion Rae had disappeared quite unexpectedly, at a point when she had been expecting a visitor, so claimed her partner Mara. No sign of Rae had been found despite everyone's efforts. Mara and Queen Hexia had been doing their best to keep things peaceful, but then Zora was informed that some demons were missing. Zora then tried to meet up with the Celestial and Infernal Champions when they were in Calamity, but the chaos took over her comrades and she was thus unable to even come close to finding them.

That night, watches were taken and conversations were had. Avi hovered at the mouth of the cave because he doesn't like small cramped areas. Calypso tried apologizing to him for what she did to him, but he didn't seem to grasp the weight of it on account of his faulty memory. This did not help Calypso feel any better.

Fea also asked how the river felt to Calypso, who said it was terrible. But they at least had the plan for Kattie to teleport the group to Ibera so they could have Zoroe use Greater Restoration on those effect by the river. That would return them to normal. Also, to make sure Fea didn't try going for another dip, Calypso tied them together with rope. Child leash. Avi gave this sweet spiel about being in good company since both he and Calypso were fuck ups. Calypso did not feel better.

The next day, the party magically skedaddled back to Kiran and sought out the temple where Zoroe stayed. But Zoroe wasn't there. Another acolyte said she was supposed to be at this new place called Dusk City, south of the Whismal Woods. Kattie teleported the group to the place's vicinity, but it was still a few days' trip to get there. But when they arrived, the group saw that the town was still being developed-- the houses and fences were mid-construction, the population not yet bustling.

Kattie, caught out by a squinting Calypso, explained that this city was supposed to be a surprise for the party. She had initiated the project during the last bit of downtime the group had, financing it and planning it with Eve. It would be a place the party could come to or even live in-- AND it would act as a higher quality place for the rat and mouse citizens of Barnesville to live. Kattie is a real one.

Avi, disconnected from his planet-eating boyfriend, spotted some cute construction dudes and went off to flirt. That is, until Valor pulled him back to the group much in the fashion of Misty and Brock. When the party found their way to Zoroe (and Eve!) Calypso finally perked up and allowed Zoroe to baby her a little. Hey, free bread, can't complain about that.

Zoroe brought the group inside to get started with Greater Restoration. Avi went first, and once he was restored and the galaxy was returned to his eyes, he promptly went outside to do some communing and whatnot. He even built a little temple in the snow for it. Next up was Calypso, and her Greater Restoration involved a little lock of hair-tucking because she is baby. Her dianthus was restored and Calypso said a prayer, breathing a bit easier.

Last was Fea. Her restoration ended up rather... unpleasant. Augustus returned to her, but the process of re-attaching soul to body (or whatever exactly was happening) was a writhing experience. Augustus and Calypso both comforted her in the wake of it. With everyone restored, Zoroe offered for the party to stay in town until the next day, when Kattie would be able to teleport them back to Calamity.

next time... the abyss again 😔😤

[arkon-z]

Yes, I'm back on my bullshit about this, though it's not related to my complaints about Ganondorf being lame. TOTK spoilers abound below:

My numerous complaints about TOTK aside, I really feel like it was an insult for people to mistake Puppet!Zelda for the actual Zelda. She had been working hard for years at that point trying to rebuild the kingdom. People knew who she was and what she was like. Which means they should have clocked right away that there was something off about this Zelda that suddenly reappeared. Most of the Sages did, but poor Yunobo got done dirty by having to be the 'dumb one' and fell for the gimmick. Thanks a lot, writers.

Anyway, all that to say - they should have made actual Zelda the puppet. Brainwash her! Threaten her! Put her in genuine danger! If she's Link's motivation, then at least give him a reason to care!

Yeah, it would have removed the whole Light Dragon plot, but so what? What did it add to the game? A bunch of cutscenes full of background plot where Zelda loses her agency yet again. Nothing but shipping fodder and death flags.

Uh-oh, i'm on a roll now.

So yeah, let's say instead of being yeeted into the past, Zelda is captured by Ganondorf, Link's arm and sword get fucked up and it's the familiar start of the game. Rauru is there and gives Link his ghost arm, then explains that "Yeah, Ganondorf took Zelda prisoner. He's almost certainly chained her up in his evil palace and you're not getting in there with half a sword. Lucky for you, all these relics of the Zonai that suddenly appeared have what you need to repair the sword."

Link demands to go at once, but Rauru holds him back, like, "Don't be stupid. You can't just rush in there - you need backup. You'll need the same help I had when I put him away. But you'll have the Master Sword to stop him for good. Do this the right way and you'll save everyone."

So it turns out that to repair the Master Sword, Link has to get something from each of the four temples. And in turn, each of the Descendents realize that 'oh, hey, Ganondorf is back, huh? Here, have my ancestral power and help Link. Hyrule is your home, too." So the Sages still get their powers.

Meanwhile, the Regional Phenomena thing is also popping off, because Zelda is going around and wreaking havoc, because Ganondorf has brainwashed her to keep them all busy while he sets up his lair in the Depths or whatever.

Link gets all the bits he needs to repair the Sword, then he takes it to the Deku Tree to, I dunno, jumpstart its divine power. Because you gotta have the Great Deku Tree in there somehow. Side note: no Mineru. Yeah, riding a mech was cool, but if this fight is for Hyrule, then it should be focused on the current races, not the long extinct ones. So instead of a Zonai Sage, there's a Sheikah one. Hell, make it Purah! That would be fun. If you want to play nice, the Zonai Sage could pass the role on to the Sheikah Sage, or contrive another reason for them to swap places in the moment (something something Sheikah tech is based on Zonai tech).

So Link eventually gets summoned to Hyrule Castle by Puppet Zelda and he and the four Sages duke it out with her and obviously they're confused and afraid, because why is Zelda fighting them? What's wrong with her? They beat the Phantom Ganon out of her and win the fight, but just as they go to check on her, Ganondorf gives them that vision of his rule in the past, freaking them out. He kidnaps her while they're distracted and dares them to rescue her.

Okay, it's getting late and I'm tired. But look at that! Isn't that more interesting? Or at least, less contrived? TOTK felt like an anime suffering from power creep and they didn't know how to fix it, so they had to go over the top to try and bring it back in. There's a lot (and I mean A LOT) more that I could rant on, but this came to me in a flash and I just wanted to toss it out there.

Also, I would give NAMES to the ancient sages. Don't they at least deserve that much? They could've come up with a bunch of new names that would be added to the Zelda lexicon, or they could have done what they did for the rest of the game and just recycled names. No one would have bat an eye and nerds like me would have sat up and pointed in recognition like the DiCaprio meme. Here, it's easy!

Ancient Zora Sage - Rutella

Ancient Rito Sage - Komali

Ancient Gerudo Sage - Aviel

Ancient Goron Sage - Darmani

Those guys deserved better than "I am your ancestor..."

I'm gonna say it:

Astor (AOC) was a bigger threat than Ganondorf (TOTK) was, in regards to the gameplay. Yes, I know The Calamity was the ultimate threat and not Astor, but that's just lore. What matters is that when the AOC plot said, "It's time to get serious about this story now," it actually got serious. Rather than TOTK's idea of "boy, it's sure going to get serious once you hit this area and trip an event flag!"

Like, TOTK Ganondorf's idea of being 'evil' was to make a puppet Zelda and go around and mess with Hyrule, doing everything from pranking some of the stables to summoning monsters to invade the temples. And because the game is open world, it makes for some really weird tone shifts. Things ranging from "our city is being overrun by unkillable monsters" to "there's a talking chicken spreading rumors." And where was Ganondorf? Down in the core of the earth, being evil. The biggest AND ONLY threat he ever directly posed to Link was in their final fight. There was nothing in the story itself to suggest that he posed any kind of threat. Especially because he made it look like Zelda was the one behind it all.

But Astor! We saw him working with/manipulating the Yiga in his plans. He lured the gang into the Lost Woods as a trap and sent the Hollows after them, coming within inches of killing Zelda. He managed to release the Calamity early. He tore the souls out of the Yiga to re-summon the Blights! He went after Zelda himself! And when it happens, it feels impactful, because of how the story unfolds in the game play. The tone shifts; you lose access to the Champs from every game menu once they're trapped in the Divine Beasts. When the Calamity hits, the tone of the entire game shifts. You're not on some action-packed adventure fighting off the Yiga clan anymore; now the apocalypse has happened and you're still alive, trying to find a way to reverse it. And throughout everything, you know that Astor is the one behind it and he's the one you have to stop. Even with the Calamity as the greater scope villain in the background, Astor is still the focal point.

So yeah, from a gameplay and story perspective, even if Astor was a flat character, he at least acted like he was trying to destroy Hyrule. Ganondorf did fuck all in TOTK. All his action scenes were flashbacks. Lazy ass man couldn't even be bothered to trek up to the surface and destroy a village or two to show he meant business.

[sneakingpasta]

Mdzs but WWX doesn’t die and is there as Jin Ling grows up with his parents and his uncles

Alright so WWX actually gets to celebrate Jin Ling’s one month celebration with his family

Brought him a spicy pepper or something because we all know that that’s how one accepts another into their family Yunmeng style

Jiang Cheng and him start fighting because babies can’t have spices until they’rs six months (Always gotta have a fight in a family reunion, you know how it goes)

Baby Jin Ling won’t go to sleep until Uncle Xianxian plays a little flute song just for him (absolutely spoiled rotten, this baby is) (WWX doesn’t mind spoiling him)

Once Jin Ling can actually have spicy foods you Know that wwx is cooking up a motherfucking call-the-ambulance lava melting meal for initiation

Jin Ling’s crying but is a stubborn boy who will eat every drop of this poison to assert dominance

After the meal is finished, the rest of the family members are dying while rinsing their mouths out

Meanwhile Wwx is holding Jin Ling like he’s the baby Messiah

“THIS IS MY NEPHEW” “THE BLOOD OF YUNMENG RUNS THROUGH HIM” “THIS IS MY NEPHEW”

Wwx keeps cooking and Jin Ling actually develops his level of spiciness

Wwx starts teaching Jin Ling how to destroy kitchens and people’s mouths cook and now they’re both disasters in the kitchen who can make food that will kill a man

WWX teaches Jin Ling some sick flute solos that he can now perform like it’s nothing

However, the best and most incredible thing Jin Ling has learned from both Wwx and JC, is how to swear

The first incident happens when Jin Ling is four

It’s a nice day, disciples are playing with the younger children, parents are setting up picnics on patches of grass, a gentle breeze is blowing through, filling everyone with peace

Then, like a discordant note swinging through the air, a resounding “FUCK” is heard

Everyone whips their heads around

Little Jin Ling is trotting at very fast speeds towards his two uncles, looking as though he had been treated with utmost discourtesy and unfairness, drenched in water

His face is red with anger and wwx and jc ask him what’s wrong

“The mudafucking wind threw me into the damn lake”

There is silence

Then, wordlessly, JC and WWX look to each other

And they can’t help it

Wwx “Pfft” is all it takes to send the both of them wheezing

Then they pick Jin Ling up, tears of laughter still steaming down their faces, as they go to fight the wind

Flash forward a couple of years

Jin Ling has become a master archer (Gotta thank Uncle Wen Ning for the lessons) and an amazing sword fighter

However, having been raised by two dramatic ass uncles, he is also a Drama Queen

And when Wwx starts showing signs that he’s got a fuckin big crush of Lwj, that’s when Jin Ling is like “Alright Showtime Motherfucker”

At this point, he knows for a fact that lwj is also helplessly in love (Jin Ling is repeatedly exasperated and annoyed at how dumb two of the smartest people can be. Like seriously. It was embarrassing to watch)

So he gathers all of the Lan disciples and recruits them into the “Getting my dumbass uncle his soulmate because he won’t stop whining about it over dinner and I am this close to snapping his neck” Team

With the crew together, they put together what might be the most extra plan to get two people together (including fake investigations)

With Jin Ling, Lan Jingyi, Lan Sizhui, and Ouyang Zizhen at the helm of the ship, they somehow execute the dumbest and most idiotic plan in the history of plans and make it work

Then, after months of preparation and build up, the day arrives

They send out a distress signal

Wwx and lwj enter a dark forest clearing

Hidden in the trees, the juniors are making hand signals at each other

From the darkness, thousands of lanterns float up into the sky (They spent two entire sleepless nights making them and transporting them here)

Beautiful white birds gently drift through the night sky

Flower petals seem to fall from nowhere (Are actually being thrown by frantic juniors who are so worried about making the plan go wrong if they don’t perfectly toss them)

Not a single cloud is in the sky, as the moonlight perfectly lights up the area (The Juniors swore to slice every cloud in half if it came to it and Heaven wasn’t bout to test them)

BUT since they forgot they lured them here with a DISTRESS CALL, wwx and lwj are stressing out about where the ducklings are and their safety and what type of creature was doing this and-

“HOLY FUCK JUST KISS ALREADY” Jingyi shouts from his spot in the tree

Similar shouts echo from the the forest as lwj and wwx finally understand the situation

Bada bing bada boom PG confession time

By the time they kiss a lot of juniors are rolling their eyes or gagging because “ew, kissing”

After the kiss, Jin Ling descends from a tree like a God, flute in hand, as he begins celebrating their win with the most epic fucking flute solo the world has or will ever hear