#meant to post this last week but i cringed myself out of it. I Am No Longer Cringing Now.

[eyesteeth]

imo every water metaphor people throw at faulkner gets better when you remember he can't swim. “stories are currents, and he plunges headlong into those rushing waters, time and time again" yeah and he can't swim. he's drowning in the narrative he's making for himself. "speak now of the man you will leave behind, the man you have been... drown him in the river’s depths" yeah he's been trying to. he kinda always is, a little bit, just by virtue of being there.

it just speaks to such a fundamental incompatibility in my eyes. he's still scared - he ran out of the hotel when he sainted the hotelier in season one and he runs away from the angel he summons in s3e6. it seems like he can only partake in violence through abstraction - it's just water and symbols until someone's dead or changed in front of him, and then it's real. the withermark is a holy triumph until he counts the houses and the people inside, and then it's something no one should ever have. sacrifice is foundational to all faith in this universe. this isn't something he can avoid, even if the upcoming schism lets him steer his part of the faith where he wants.

(and, to tangent, someone telling him that they finally killed her in some distant town isn't real because he didn't see her face when she hit the soil. if that happens then she's just someone who's not there anymore and he can keep on missing her like he's been doing. i am convinced this is why he gave the shoot on sight order.)

it’s mentioned that he's left alone in his room at the gulch for hours at a time, just like when his father would neglect him and his brothers and leave them to their own devices. he wants a real and genuine love like family, but instead gets worship and idolatry from one hand and schemes to kill him from the other. he keeps climbing the ranks, distancing himself from the potential of gaining the closeness he craves, all in the hope of getting closer to the god he's losing faith in. he's crawling towards the river and he can't swim.

he is trying to love something that wants to drag him under. even if there wasn't a god in the river, the water would greedily swallow him anyway. river currents do not care about your love. he is putting the sunk in sunk cost fallacy. he’s participating in reverse self-immolation. he is drowning in deep water and has only just learned how to keep his eyes open without goggles. he needs to reach the surface but he still can't fucking swim. he is going to die thrashing in the river he loves so much, trying to get out once he realized it wasn't ever going to love him back the way he wanted.

and if he can’t learn how to swim in time, he’s going to need the help of someone who can to pull him out.

[reveriememory]

⭐️ °. • Thank You Neil • .° ⭐️

I pushed myself to finish this in time, and I did! I met Neil, and gave him a physical copy. Till this day, I just freak out when I remember… I really admire him! I’ll talk about that and this art piece after the Read More if you’d like to hear about that.

This art piece started in October, last year as an Astarion fan piece, but overtime I realized I wanted to do something more meaningful. I’ve known of Neil since DBH, so why not create something for him? So I added in Neil, and then I left it alone for months. Didn’t really think anything of it since usually all my art follows this treatment. I focus on it for a whole two weeks and then it fades into the background. However, I got word that Neil was coming to my area, and that’s when I started freaking out. Like, oh my god, I need to finish this… can I give this to him? I’ve never gone to a convention before… what am I gonna do?

So I kept debating to finish this, because I didn’t know what was allowed, and if I could even finish in time, how would I even print this? I mean, I can just finish it at my own pace and tag him or something. In the end, I decided that it’s more important to me to get it to him in person, that way I can also get my copy signed. I had to plan this all out, and long story short, I rushed it in a week. I pulled two all-nighters, and just REALLY rushed on poor Gavin in the background. Gavin was actually a last minute decision! I would’ve added Kamski, but he’s literally just a face copy of Neil so I decided against that, and Gavin was the close second. The reason I chose DBH was because that’s where I first discovered Neil. I was a fan of this game when it first released. Heisenberg was another option, but I never got to his part of the game so I felt it wasn’t a good pick since I was going under personal limitations. Not to mention, really low on time. However, I added some references on the wall, specifically the ones where it was games that I had played! I could’ve added more, but again- time. I drew them in a motion capture studio, because I envision Neil practicing and performing with the characters he had worked on. I just felt like It was a cute little idea, and I admire Neil for his motion capture the most. It’s something I’m trying to get into, or some form of it at least.

Then. The Day.

AHHHHHH. I was starstruck. I’m just going to sum it up and talk about this specific moment. I’m next in line and I just blurt out, “I’m trying really hard not to get starstruck!” But I’m already shaky and half my memory gone. I was so anxious, trying to get through the moment that I didn’t really get to enjoy the moment, but man, am I still happy. I tell him about the piece and he’s like oh, what have you been working on? The drawing got jammed in its protector, so I was just struggling with it. “OH, sorry, it’s stuck!” And he thankfully found it funny. Gave it to him, got my copy signed and perfect. But AHHHH, I’m anxious right? I ask him if he could sign the back of it, because I was worried I’d cringe at the piece in the future. I normally don’t call my art cringe but why, why was I THAT honest—

He’s so quick to reply, super sweet man, just tells me no, don’t cringe. He also asked me about my focus in motion capture, but that’s another post for another day. I have something in the works for that!

Look, in my defense! I RUSHED the piece, so I knew I’d get a bit irritated in the future seeing my art and knowing I had the time to really do a beautiful job! I just meant that knowing how much potential I had, had I taken advantage of that, it would have turned out so much… not better, but to my liking. I’m content, considering the limitations, but… y’know? Anyways, I still wanted to look at his signature and proudly display that, like aye, I got to meet him!

Considering that I rarely draw real people, I’m definitely proud with how Neil turned out. Just like Neil told me, and many others, can’t be too harsh with myself. When working on this, I was super excited and actually thrived while working on it. Yes, under pressure, but dedicated. I can’t remember the last time I ever fixated on an art piece like this. With that said, I definitely want to try again in the future and get better at drawing semi-realism. And Neil is coming back to my area next year so��� ideas.

Anyways, thank you for reading my little journal entry! Back to work I go~

[amazzwon]

WHAT IS... HOME?

❜ ─ ─ ❛ lee heeseung x fem! reader

╰┈➤ ❝ [angst, non-idol au, one-sided love, friends to strangers]

╰┈➤ ❝ [0.8k words]

╰┈➤ ❝ [cherry blossom; lana del rey]

I was six feet under my thoughts as waited for her by "The Stone Cold" ice cream shop. As the glass entrance opened with customers pushing through, a waft of sweet air contrasted with the evening air. The grey scarf cloaking my neck itched and tickled me; it was a cold November. My breaths turned foggy and my nose dusted crimson. 

The cold was as harsh as the reality.

It had been a week since I revealed my truth to her. 

"If my name was a word then you are the meaning to it".

That's what I had said, my true being, my pure love, my final chance to prove to her; to tell her that I, Lee Heeseung, am in love with her.

"I-If you will have me," My voice had wobbled, "Meet me in front of our favourite spot at 8 pm?". 

I cringed at the memory. Had I sounded more mature, more manly, maybe then she would have given her answer at that moment.

A week passed but my hope did not. 

The first time, it did phase me... a lot. I remember being drenched in my sorrow and overflowing eyes that would not open (I changed pillow covers twice that day).

The second time, the ice cream shop owner offered me a free scoop (that melted in my hand cause I was too in my head). 

The third time, I took interest in the pebbles by the road and kicked them woefully; but there had been times when my head played games with me, begging me to look up to meet her eyes but she wasn't even there. 

The fourth time, I gazed at the clouds.

The fifth time, my heart began playing tricks on me, persuading me to go to her apartment complex; but I was a lover, not a serial killer.

The sixth time, I can't even remember anymore...

The neon pink, "The Stone Cold", sign flickered in contrast to the golden gleaming lamp posts. It looked ugly. The contrast, I meant. Coincidentally, so did my thoughts. The crowd brushed past me, rushing as if they had somewhere to be; that thought made me jealous.

Would she consider me to be a place worth running towards?

Time was ticking; the rush hour stalled. My feet prickled; the freezing temperature swept past me. I stood still; an empty vessel with heartbroken thoughts. The ice cream shop's sign glitched shut, and then the old man (the owner) walked out offering a sad smile at the sad case of a man in front of him. I could hear the man wobbling out of the scene but, my genius envisioned her footsteps approaching me. 

There you have it, another day spent on the woman so gorgeous, she turned me ugly with glum hope. My mind tugged me to text her, just one last time. I decided against it.

The buses continued their usual routes. It was a cheap option instead I chose to take me and my pathetic heart for a walk. I shouldn't have; I could have easily saved myself from the nightmares, the embarrassment, my dignity! Yet I watched with my chapped lips parted and eyes widened. She had her arm looped with another man. My eyes flitted from her to her man. Her man? ugh, that word itself made my soul churn.

He whispered something in her ear and she laughed as if she had no care in the world. How brutal could she be! They stood near the signal waiting to cross the road... so she did have a place to rush towards but couldn't she at least stop by to reject me?

Oh no, it was worse. I was the other man... 

I collected the few shards of my heart and I turned around with heavy eyes. Walking briskly, I couldn't gaze straight, too stunned to look up anymore. At least, I had memorised the path home. I decided that home was my place to be... but no.

As soon as I thought of home, she flashed across my mind. Her smile, her warmth; she was my sunlight and she was my shade. My walking speed turned obsolete and my vision was hazy. I should have known better than to have such a tremendous amount of longing, I could have spared it to face the world.

Maybe she saw it. She noticed my blind faith, she noticed my unfortunate state of being under her spell and left me to my thoughts. They weren't any better.

I approached my home... oh god, I want to find another word to call the place I rest... 

my hand shoved in my pocket to fish out my keys

a warm place... 

I finally felt the cold metal ring and pinched the correct key.

a place to laugh...

I tried to connect it to the keyhole but I missed

a place where I could love...

 I missed again

a place... where I would stop missing her

The first tear fell before I could even enter my house; the place as cold as November. 

[yourmisogynistfriend]

✨The story behind my blog name✨

Come sit on my lap, sweetie, and let me tell you why I decided to call myself yourmisogynistfriend

Well first it’s because the old name was due to be changed. My previous name was truegirlssftagain. This name originated of my first blog I created at 17, which was named onlytruegirls (yes, I know I was underage when I created this blog, thanks for noticing). I only reblogged pics of hot girls in bikinis or naked. The name was because I wanted to show what true girls were supposed to look like. This was obviously a very restricted point of view, but I was young. Anyway, this concept of « true girl » sticked with me over the years. But at one point I realized it was a little bit cringe and dumb for a blog name. I always tried to not appear as a tumblr dom and this blog name clearly didn’t helped.

So I have been thinking about what my new name could be. I always thought the fact I post very misogynist stuff while being a huge feminist was pretty ironic. Yes, I am feminist. I believe in gender equality, I believe women are equal to men, I get mad every time something happens in the world against women. Anyway, I’m not here to convince you about how feminist I am. But I once remembered an event that happened to me and I thought it was pretty funny.

During a class in uni, we had an activity about history of feminism, the group was split in two based on our last names and my part of the group was made of four women out of 20 people. To talk about feminism… See how ironic this is? Let me tell you that the women of my group, who are personal friends, were not feeling very comfortable to talk among a group of men. Well after the activity, my girl friends told me I was the only man in the group they trusted to not make misogynist comments (and some others really said some borderline stuff). I was the only man they wanted to hear give his opinion on the subject. What came to my mind at this moment is « good thing they don’t know about my tumblr blog! ».

So, let’s get back to when I decided to choose a new blog name. I remembered that moment and was thinking: « I’m actually a real feminist, a man whose presence makes women feel safe, whose opinions about feminism are welcome by women, and yet my blog is about objectifying women ». It’s hell of a duality! I thought it was a good idea to exploit this experience I lived. So I decided the new name will be about the fact that even your feminist friends may be fantasizing about molesting you. Even the most feminist person you know may be daydreaming of legalized rape and free use in public.

I thought about calling my blog yourfeministfriend, because that’s what I am. I am a feminist friend and yet I fantasize about misogyny. But the name was already taken. I decided to call myself yourfeministbuddy, and it worked… for a week. My blog got deleted. I don’t know if it’s just a coincidence or if feminists found and mass reported me. Just in case, I didn’t take any chance and decided my new blog would be yourmisogynistfriend. This way, nobody can report me saying my blog name is a lie, even if the dual effect of my blog name and my blog content is gone.

And yes, one of my girl friends who made that comment about me, who feels safe with me, she’s hot and I’d love to make her choke on my cock and make her my little toy like she’s truly meant to be. But she’ll never know.

Sorry if it’s a long story for your silly little brain, but I think it’s worth the effort of reading it all.

[hottubmagazine]

Falling for You

Lloyd Garmadon x Reader

NOTE: Here's part 3. It's only been a day since my last post, but I'm testing my creative liberty here and also this has been in my drafts for a short while so I'm just deciding to post it. Enjoy <33

Warning(s): slight cursing, slight cringe (I'm just proof-reading this right now and I'm internally screaming at myself)

Previously: Part 2

Next: Part 4

Part 3 Of Part???

It had been a long day, various assignments needed to be done, 3 essays all due within a week, and 2 presentations needed to be sent out by the end of Friday. Dispite the need to relax, somehow guilt always won over.

"Ugh! This sucks!" (Y/N) exclaims dropping her bag down on the ground and throwing herself on the couch cushions. A few moment of silence gives her the right amount of thought process to gather herself back up and change out of her outdoor clothes.

Once done, she exits the bathroom and is surprised by the sight of the well-known green ninja up on the balcony holding a few bags of takeout, and another one presumably filled with dessert.

"Lloyd, what are you doing here? I thought your patrol ended hours ago." (Y/N) comments triedly making her way to the blonde-headed male slipping her arms around his torso in a much-needed hug.

"I did, but a little birdie told me you were stressed out from school so I came to hopefully make everything a little less sh*tty." Lloyd adds kissing her forehead. He enters the kitchen and takes out the food from the bag.

"You really didn't have to, you know?" The girl smiles widely as she sat herself down on the kitchen counter. Lloyd continues to re-heat the food and place them on seprate containers along side with utensils.

"I wanted too. Besides, it's my job as your BOYFRIEND to make sure your mental, emotional, and physical health is at 100% capacity. Otherwise we're gonna have a problem—" Lloyd says in a serious-joking tone earning a wide smile from his girlfriend.

"Since when did you become so knowledgeable about these sorts of stuff, last time I checked you weren't in any relationships before me." She points out, jokingly pointing a finger at him. He gasps in return as he grabs a glass of water fro both of them.

"Are you accusing me of something?" His eyebrows raise placing a hand over his chest. (Y/N) gigles in return, playing along wtih her boyfriends little play.

"And what if I am? Now that you mention it, you were pretty friendly with that sweet old lady back at the flower shop. Now why was that?" She comments, her smile failing to be kept hidden as her cheeks redden.

Lloyd grins and circles the kitchen counter to stand infront of her, trapping her between his arms.

"Now now, let's not be hasty. Who's to say that the lovely lady hadn't lured me in with her abundance set of well maintained flowers." Lloyd replies placing a strand of hair behind her ears. He rests his palm against her nape and pulls her head to rest on his shoulder.

"But— in anycase I was given all the worlds riches, or power, all to not have you by my side. I'd be considered the worlds saddest man." Lloyd says, (Y/N) furrows her brows in confusion not getting what he meant.

"What do you mean by that?" She asks further wanting an explination.

"Meaning, no matter how rich or powerful I become. Nothing would cost just as much as having you by my side." Lloyd better emphasises.

(Y/N) flicks his forehead gently "Your so sappy, you know that right?" She exclaims and removing herself between the man and the counter to go and get her food.

"Hey! I poured my heart out to you, and this is the thanks I get?" Lloyd pouts defeatedly as he follows her retreating figure in the living room like a kicked puppy.

"Alright, you big oaf." The girl opens up her arms and brings the male into a hug, earning a soft sigh in return causing her to brigthen up.

She may not know this, but if anything were to happen to her, Lloyd would bring hell upon anyone who caused her pain. Even to himself.

[bridgertonbabe]

Signing off.

I never really thought I'd ever write a post like this and to be perfectly honest I feel a bit cringe for even making a thing out of this but I felt it necessary to address those of you who follow me and my writings.

In the last month I have been suffering severely from anxiety, waking up to what feels like a ball of dread clutching at my heart and being unable to shift it for the better part of the day. It's all come to a head as of late because I've reached a crossroads in my life where I've realised just how unhappy and unfulfilled I am. Truth to be told I really don't have any aspect in my life that I am happy with and for years I've dismissed myself and my own desires for the sake of others to the point where I have no self worth, no self confidence, and I just feel like a shell of a person. Realising that I can't go on like this, that I can't live the life I aspire to without sorting my mental health out, I've taken the first steps in getting counselling and in going to the doctors to be put on anti-depressants.

While I'm already starting to feel better, I've decided it's in my best interests to take some other steps going ahead; which is I'm logging off this account.

Don't get me wrong, this account has brought me fulfillment in the last two and a half years and I've had so much fun interacting with so many of you but as of late I've become very disengaged with Bridgerton. It's one of several of my hyperfixations which I have become anxious with in the last few weeks, in part because they are what I used to immerse myself in as a means to distract myself from a dissatisfying existence, but now I've decided to make a change in my life for the better, everything that I once used to bury my head in the sand has now essentially given me the ick. Bridgerton is just now one of several things that I feel the need to distance myself from in order to fully focus and concentrate on bettering my mental health as well as getting what I want out of life.

As much as I've taken pride in writing because of Bridgerton, my dream has always to one day publish a book of my own and I need to refocus my energies on writing my own original stories to have the chance of maybe being able to make that dream a reality. I would have so dearly loved to have been able to complete a whole host of WIPs (would have also loved to have been able to just focus on one story at a time but c'est la vie) and I can only apologise to anyone who's been hoping for an update from any of them.

You will still be able to read all of my works on AO3 (plus I've restored a couple I had previously hidden from view), and I won't be deleting this tumblr so all of my drabbles and various posts will still be here for you to browse and read at your leisure.

Though I'm stepping away from this account, I don't necessarily know if this will be forever. I might well end up in a better place mentally at some point and return with a healthier state of mind where I can enjoy Bridgerton again, and I would never rule out contributing writings again - however as it stands, I don't want to promise anything and taking care of my mental health is my main priority for now and the foreseeable future.

I also just wanted to take the opportunity to thank every single person who has ever liked, reblogged, and interacted with me since I joined. I had never previously shared any of my creative writing online and thought it would be nice if even a single person somewhere vaguely liked anything I had to share - but over the last two and a half years I've been given such a boost from the amount of people who have reached out and commented on any one of my silly writings. I don't think you'll ever understand just how much it has meant to me and the love and appreciation will stay with me forever.

That about does it, so thank you all for everything. I wish you all a lifetime of health and happiness.

Signing off,

Shinnie

xxx

[sxypigeon]

Lunch Interrupted - A Wenclair story

A/N: Is it too much to ask to have her new girlfriend to herself before announcing their relationship to the world?

Yes, it is.

Wednesday gets over herself much to Enid's amusement.

___

“Please tell me you didn’t actually- What am I saying?  Of course you did,” Bianca muttered to herself.  “You know it actually explains a few things.”

I wasn’t given the chance to ask what exactly the siren meant - I’d have to interrogate her later about how my childhood experience of being held captive and witnessing an aunt die by electrocution might have affected my young psyche.

“Hey, Enid!  Do you have a minute?”

Since returning to school, Enid has endured many new solicitations for her attention.  Ever the kind hearted monster, my wolf has been patient and kind to all . . . deserved or not.

“Sure.”  The werewolf leaned into Wednesday with a comforting, slightly-clawed hand on her shoulder as Enid stood and stepped over the bench seat.  The two steps she took from the table still allowed their conversation to be heard.

Many of these solicitors wouldn’t have given Enid the time of day six months ago, but feel entitled to her time now, as if they were doing her an honor by conversing with her.  The other werewolves are easily the worst offenders, both in number and entitlement.

Wednesday raised her gaze from her meal and met Yoko’s unimpressed look from across the table.  Both of them had similar feelings about Enid’s new found popularity.  They had a loose agreement, that Enid of course was unaware of, to cover for one another if either decided to follow up with any of the would be suitors. . . Yoko unfortunately insisted on light maiming only.    

“I was wondering if you had any plans for spring break,” the stocky, interloping wolf asked the blonde.  The confidence in his purposely lowered voice made Wednesday almost cringe.

I can’t see either of them, which I suppose is some relief.  I doubt I’d be able to remain seated otherwise.  The last time one of them dared to touch my beloved - well, Enid was adamant I take the violence down several notches in the future.

“I do actually-” Enid started to say brightly.

“My pack is hosting the jamboree this year!” he practically shouted over her.  “It’ll be a great way to network with the biggest clans . . . maybe even find a mate.”

At the beginning of the semester, I promised Enid I wouldn’t consciously act in a way that would put myself at risk of expulsion.  I have never wanted to break that promise more in my life.

Keeping her cool, as always, Enid kept her voice light.  “That sounds super fun, but I’m going to be spending the week with a friend.”

We haven’t exactly announced our relationship to the public.  Her- our friends know, but Enid has yet to post it to her blog at my request.  I know for a fact Pugsley follows her and I don’t plan on allowing my parents to know I have fallen victim to love’s nefarious clutches just yet.  I need time to mentally prepare myself for their inevitable onslaught of affection and knowing smirks from my mother.

His tone was dismissive, “But you can see your friends anytime, the jamboree only happens once a year!  You don’t want to miss out on a chance to-”

I have to tune the whining whelp out if I want to avoid violence.  That was the crux of the problem, I’ve always solved my problems offensively - physically or verbally and I’ve yet to find a suitable alternative.  Threats are my life blood and without them I feel lost.

Enid’s attempt to shake him off was starting to sound strained, “I appreciate the offer, really, but-”

This problem is my own making - if I’d just let go of my desire for privacy . . . The solution is laughably simple.  

Yoko, who looked on the verge of interrupting the wolves, shot Wednesday a look of warning as the seer suddenly stood and stepped up to roommate.

“Enid,” Wednesday cut in,  “I’ve forgotten something in our room and have to leave.”

“What?  Wends-”  Enid’s face was crestfallen, on the verge of distraught.

“I will make it up to you tonight, I promise.”  

Looking up into her dejected eyes is near agony.  I will absolutely keep that promise.

Before leaving, the seer reached up to cradle her wolf’s face between her hands, gently pulling her down just a bit into a kiss.

Enid’s gasp of surprise sends a jolt of confidence down my spine and is all the encouragement I need to pull her addictive body closer.  For a moment, I feel like growling, as if I’m the wolf staking her claim on her mate.  Enid’s hands tight on my hips are all the acceptance I crave.  

Behind us, I hear the vampire coughing violently, likely from Yoko inhaling her meal.  The rest of the lunchroom has gone quiet save for poorly concealed whispers, but the obnoxious mutt hounding Enid earlier has yet to move.

“Uh, the fuck?” he nearly demands with a hint of disgust.

If he refuses to take the hint, I have no qualms about continuing to prove my dominance over the self-important wolf.  Losing myself in Enid is dangerously easy.  It takes all of my self control not to let my hands wander from her flushed cheeks.

“Are you fucking serious right now?”

I feel Enid snicker into the kiss which has turned into a rather pleasant makeout session.  

“My dude,” Yoko says loud enough for most of the room to hear, “I think that’s your cue to leave.”

I let my hands slide down to either side of Enid’s neck as I nibble her bottom lip.  I’m fighting a smile and about to lose.

“Bitch,” he muttered as he stomped off.

Oh, I will be having a thorough discussion with him in the near future about manners and how to accept rejection gracefully.

Stepping away slowly, Wednesday faced her stunned but amused girlfriend.  “Until tonight, mi amor.”

Enid was nearly trembling with excitement as she rather obviously resisted the urge to pull Wednesday back into her arms.  “Okay.”

Truthfully, I’m not able to remain in the cafeteria much longer.  The feeling reminds me of the ceremony after the Poe Cup, so many people rudely staring.  

“OMG! Did that really just happen?” Enid stage-whispered to the table as Wednesday walked away.

Yes, my chromatic wolf and I have plans for you this evening.  May the torment of my family’s curse I endure ever leave you enthralled for I have no desire for relief. 

[fainthedcherry]

IT'S TIME TO FINALLY ABBACCHIO POST. I was spending several weeks just gathering all the times I've drawn Abbi!!! :>

A LIST OF WHAT DRAWING IS MEANT TO BE WHAT:

1TL - First time drawing Abbi, just exploring his design basically in my artstyle

2TR - SECOND time drawing Abbi (doodled a bust outta boredom at work again and realised how fun he is to draw from then on)

3MDPPR - Doodle of Abbi and Moody Blues in combat, bc his ASBR hand poses RLLY intrigue me, SLAY ABBI SLAYYY SO I referenced that pose when he URRYA's but FRONT perspective

4MDPPR - I then last second wanted to fill my empty page w/ another doodle of Abbi getting harrassed by the Sex Pistols to wake Mista up midst his makeup routine bc I felt like making a cute doodle ;v

4MDGTL - Drawing a dream I had almost a week ago, I only finished that drawing yesterday bc I was so sleepy the past 2 weeks I didn't pick up the pencil much in result T-T

4MDDGTL - JUST REDRAWN MY FAVOURITE MEME. In case unaware, this is referencing the Samuel Johnson painting. Idk why, but that painting is just so perfect and I've doodled Abbi in response to a message to my friend Hart LMFAO (you got my permission to repost this one btw memes are made for sharing imo so go ahead for that piece in particular)

BTM L & R - 2 more boredom doodles! One at work, one at school when the teacher didn't give us clear instructions on what to do so the entire class including me just sat there and procrastinated bc he's that bad of a teacher 💀

RAMBLING ABT THE FULL ART PROCESS ON EVERY PIECE BELOW;

TOP DRAWINGS. I WAS DRAWING ABBI AT WORK BC I WAS BORED AND IT WERE SLOW DAYS W/ NOTHING TO DO IN MY DEPARTMENT THAN SIT AND CHECK INK TANKS. I then realised, how much fkn FUN IT IS TO DRAW HIM. I always loved Abbacchio's design, even 3 years ago, when I was still in high school and freshly watched Golden Wind in its peak popularity smwhr, with an over-active fandom that fed me SO many funny Dio parenting Giorno memes. NOW that like 4 of my friends and apparently EVEN MY BOYFRIEND like Jojo, I'VE BECOME MEGA OBSSESSED AGAIN JUST LIKE 3 YEARS AGO. AND DAMN AM I GLAD I AM BC ABBI IS THE FIRST CHARACTER I PROPERLY AM FINALLY EMBRACING MY CRINGE ERA OVER. Side note but the rhyme actually I came up from the top of my head randomly when I thought abt him (and sobbed over his backstory once more my poor donut victim) I used to be afraid to draw ANY fanart at all, bc I was afraid, people would HATE my takes on characters I love - but now that I'm older and I basically dgaf abt what people have to say abt me and my tastes, I finally dared take a step into fanart territory and braved myself into drawing my fav depressed blorbo.

MIDDLE DRAWING - PAPER DOODLE. AH YES. THE DOODLES THAT TOOK 3 SCHOOL WEEKS NOW BASICALLY, 8HRS OF DRAWING BETWEEN LESSONS EACH. I was shaking SO HARD on a certain week, and the classmate sitting next to me POUNDED THE TABLE A LOT OUT OF BAD HABIT. I SEVERAL times ACCIDENTALLY in panic always yelled "BE CAREFUL!" until I was done re-tracing Moody Blues's sketch to clean it up properly 😭😭😭, ABBI LOOKS OK. NOT PROUD OF ABBI. BUT DAMN MOODY BLUES KINDA SLAYS. (Disregarding its funky gummy hair not connecting back to the shoulders which is somth I only now know after staring at Abbi and MB for HOURS to study how to draw them properly)

LOOONG PARAGRAPH AHEAD ABT TO EXPLAIN THAT DRAWING IN METICULOUS DETAIL;

MIDDLE DRAWING - THE ONE WHERE ABBACCHIO APPEARED IN MY LORE-HEAVY DREAM. IRL me was in the dream going home from work (late-shift), with a fictional coworker who looked real, but doesn't exist IRL, I forgot her appearance, so she's a grey blob in my doodle of what happened in the dream. BUT as I was walking through a park that VAGUELY, SLIIIGHTLY resemblences my IRL park in my town, suddenly a YU-GI-OH LOOKING FKN PURPLE PORTAL APPEARS. PINK LIGHTNING COMES OUT OF IT. SUDDENLY ANCIENT, BRITISH FKN VICTORIAN GHOSTS EMERGE AND START BALLROOM-DANCING??? <-This was the SECOND TIME. LATELY. I DREAMED OF GHOSTS TRYING TO HURT ME IN MY DREAMS. AND SOMEONE PROTECTING ME FROM THEM IN RESULT TOO THO. BUT. These ghosts were a pretty pastel-pink, tbh they looked rlly cool I might make em world-lore relevant ghosts or something LOL

^I freeze like I do IRL if something scares me and I just stand there and watch?? Suddenly this like British Monopoly-man mfer comes OUT. WITH A MODERN KITCHEN-KNIFE. YOU CAN'T GET MORE BRITISH THAN THAT. THE DAMN GHOST NEARLY SHANKED ME IN THE HEAD. I JUST BRACED AND ACCEPTED MY DEATH THEN AND THERE. THEN FKNNN MOODY BLUES OUT OF NOWHERE ALSO URYA'S THE BRITISH VICTORIAN GHOST SO I'M SAFE.

^ABBACCHIO PROTECTED ME. HE COMES OUT FROM THE TREE AND STARES DOWN THE GHOST. MFER STARES AT HIM ANGRILY BACK, SO THEY SEEMINGLY HAD BEEF IN THE DREAM, BEFORE I EXISTED. AND THE BRITISH GUY MUMBLES SOMETHING, PICKS UP HIS HAT, FADES AWAY INTO DUST LIKE IN MY WORLD-LORE ABOUT GHOST-DEATH. I JUST STARE IN AWE THAT FKN. LEONE ABBACCHIO FROM JOJO'S BIZARRE ADVENTURE IN THE 3D-ASBR MODEL LOOKING FLESH STOOD IN FRONT OF MY IRL HUMAN SELF. OF NOTE: I WAS LUCID-DREAMING. I WAS AWARE, HE WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO EXIST. SO I IMMEDIATELY GET UP, GET WOOZY BC BLOOD CIRCULATION IN MY LEGS SUCK, AND WANT TO ASK HIM IF WE CAN BE FRIENDS. BEFORE I CAN DO THAT. HE GETS ALL PISSY WITH ME AND IS REALLY ANGRY AND SNEERS.

--"You shouldn't be out at this time. Go home already. It's too dangerous."

"WAIT- BUT CAN I TALK TO YOU-"

--"NO. I SAID GO HOME!"

HE WAS ACTING LIKE CANON ABBI AND I APPRECIATE THAT THANKS DREAM, BUT MINUS POINTS FOR NOT ALLOWING ME TO SIMP. SO YEAH I DID RUN HOME AND I LISTENED. MY FRIEND FOLLOWED SUIT CONFUSED ASF.

--"Why were you surprised that he's real?? Did you NOT see him lurking behind the tree?!"

"NO??? YOU DID????" "

--"[GROAN] LOOK."

>SHOWS ME DRONE-FOOTAGE SOMEHOW OF ABBI DANCING W/ A GHOST. THEN I NOTICE IT'S JUST A MOODY BLUES REPLAY AS HIM. THEN. PUNCH THE VICTORIAN GUY. HE WAS SNEAKING UP ON THE GHOST THE WHOLE ARSE TIME AND MY BLIND ARSE DIDN'T SEE IT. SO YKNOW I WON'T MENTION THE REST OF THE DREAM BUT TURNS OUT THE BRITISH POSH GHOST WAS PART OF SOME MAFIA. HENCE THE BEEF W/ ABBACCHIO HAPPENED AND HIM STILL BEING IN PASSIONE IN THAT DREAM IN B4 TRAITORING DIA.

OK ART PROCESS OF THIS DRAWING; INBETWEEN IMAGE AHEAD I HAVEN'T DRAWN;

^THIS DRAWNIG IS JUST AN OFFICIAL ILLUSTRATION OF ABBACCHIO I HAVE EDITED. I DID *NOT* DRAW THAT. That is an official drawing from David Productions / Hirohiko Araki. SO YEAH I DO NOT CLAIM OWNERSHIP OF THIS, NOR HAVE I DRAWN IT. DISCLAIMER OUT THE WAY B4 SOMEONE THINKS I'VE PUT EFFORT INTO THAT DRAWING DONE? GOOD!

I denoted, what might've caused Dreambacchio as I call him, to look like THAT. I was playing ASBR the same night I dreamt of this Abbi, but his model had colouration C. That explained, why his 3D ASBR model yelled at me and ONE SPECIFIC FRAME from the anime. Like I kid you not, IT'S THIS FRAME.

*ONCE AGAIN NOT MY DRAWING. DAVID PRODUCTIONS, JOJO PART 5 SCREENSHOT TAKEN FROM THE ANIME. NOT MY DRAWING. GOOD, MORE CLARIFICATION!!

HE YELLED EXACTLY LIKE THIS AT ME. IN THE DREAM. HIS FACE IS ONE-TO-ONE TRANSLATED ONTO A 3D MODEL OF HIM INSTEAD. IN THAT FKN DREAM. I REMEMBER HIS FACE CLEAR AS DAY IN THE DREAM. Like I kid you not, I am so obssessed w/ him lately, that I remembered PARTS OF MY DREAM CRYSTAL-CLEAR. That is something usually I DO NOT remember 100%, to my friends who know me, they know. SO YEAH TESTAMENT OF HOW MUCH I LIKE ABBI IG.

ALSO of note; I accidentally indoctrinated my friend Kobra to ALSO simp him, and now we're BOTH obssessed w/ Abbi. 😭 The catalyst to her liking him so much tho, is bc I apparently draw him hot??? LIKE IDK IF I DO. IF SOME JOJO FAN FINDS MY DRAWINGS OF HIM HOT. I'M GLAD. I TOO, LOVE DRAWING ABBACCHIO'S MAN BIDDIE-WINDOW. /hj

Unironically, the way he dresses I DREAM of dressing tho IRL....Imagine if I owned that 90's gucci coat Abbi's is based on, and fixed it to suit an Abbi cosplay. SOME DAY. I WILL COSPLAY AS HIM. THAT'S A THREAT. IDC IF BIOLOGICALLY I'M A WOMAN. I CAN DREAM TO BE LIKE THIS MAN. HE IS JUST VERY STYLISH AND I LOVE GOTHS.

--

MIDDLE DRAWING DIGITAL; JUST A MEME I LIKE I'VE REDRAWN TO REPLY TO MY FRIEND. I didn't watermark the panel above bc I traced a few things from the OG portrait here and there. THE PANEL BELOW THO. IS DRAWING WO/ TRACING. That one I watermarked at least bc I HAVE drawn it by myself. Above I was just lazy, sleepy and came freshly home from work, I SLAVE AWAY AFTER WORK, TO DRAW ABBI LATELY OBSSESSIVELY. I JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF HIM BLAME MY AUTISM DFKLLSDG

Doodles below - also self-explanatory, done in the span of 15 mins. Since our school-PCs have Adobe programs and APPARENTLY Paint.Net I got DEVIOUS and just..The first file that exists on my school-server drive is THIS doodle of Abbacchio now. Using my German tax euro for the right things, y'all /lh

THAT CONCLUDES MY RAMBLES ABT THE PROCESSES OF THESE DRAWINGS I THINK. HELLA JOJO TAGS AHEAD BC HONESTLY I KINDA WANT PEOPLE TO SEE MY DRAWING OF DREAM-ABBI THE MOST TBH. BC HE'S JUST SO PRETTTYYYYY-

I PLAN TO DRAW MORE ABBACCHIO....SO STAY TUNED IG IF YOU ALSO LOVE ABBACCHIO!!!! My art request ears are VERY open, if you want me to draw a jojo character next 👀👀👀 (THOUGH keep in mind, they will be minimal doodles, BC I am spending most of my effort on owed art I have to pay off still!!!!!!!)

HELLA TAG-AVALANCHE AHEAD. FAIR WARNING. I'M SO GLAD THE TUMBLR LAYOUT I USE PUTS THEM TO THE SIDE SO IT DOESN'T DISTRACT FROM THE DRAWINGSSS. SORRY IF YOU FIND TAGS ANNOYING BC AGAIN I JUST WANT PEOPLE TO STARE AT MY DREAM-ABBACCHIO TBH...I MIGHT TURN HIM INTO MY OWN CHARACTER OR HELL IF PEOPLE WANT IT...CAN BE SOME FORM OF JOJO AU. BUT IDK IF PEOPLE WANT AN AU WHERE THE PASSIONE GANGSTAR GANG FIGHT A BUNCH OF BRITISH MOBSTERS THAT ABDUCT TEENAGE GIRLS WITH SPECIAL EYES AND HAIR TO A CRUELLA DEVILLE TYPE OF WOMAN.

^YES ONCE AGAIN, WILD DREAM WITH WILD DREAM LORE.

[eternalsams]

Forgiveget Me -> personal vent

A/n: this is a personal ramble, vent, call it whatever you want. What you're about to read is a true personal story that happened to me a few weeks ago and in view of moving on from this, I decided to use my 'writing skills' to get the feelings out.

I am very proud of this because it was hard to go through this kind of event, this is something nobody deserves to go through so I also post this for everyone who might have lived something similar to tell them they're not alone and that their feelings are valid. You deserve closure just as much as I do, this is my way to get one.

As I'm posting this, I'm in a better place and even though I still have lots of mixed feelings about this situation, I've had multiple conversations with the other person and I will forever be grateful for them to help me with my communication. As I often say, communication is key, whatever you're feeling.

I tried being a little poetic in there, I hope it's not as cringe as I think it might be. So, enjoy!

Our meet cute never happened. Another hand used to hold yours when I first talked to you. When I first laughed with you. And yet I knew I liked you. You left and I almost forgot about you. Maybe it would've been better. Maybe you should've stayed out of my life. But you didn't. You stormed back in and I was so glad. Because above all that, you were a friend. Until that night. You were as lonely as I was and we found company in each other. We talked until late, we laughed about everything and nothing. And from that night I knew I was doomed. You couldn't be mine. Your hand started holding mine but nothing more could happen.

Maybe it was a "right person, wrong time" kind of thing. Maybe we just weren't meant for each other.

But you still held my hand, wrapped your arms around me, maybe you even kissed my head. I don't remember. Or maybe I would've wanted you to. I definitely wanted to kiss you. Wanted to hold you so close we might become one. You were the first one to make me feel so weak. The first one to hold my hand, to wrap your arms around me like you wanted me by your side forever. Forever ended sooner than I thought. You held me until our last moment together. Until I had to leave. It felt as if I had to leave the country because I knew even then you wouldn't hold my hand for long after that. But you held on for longer than I thought.

For months, your hand only held your phone when mine was sending you a text. I thought I was losing you multiple times but you were quick to reassure me, strengthening my trust and blinding me a bit more every time. I felt like I was falling hard and fast, only to land on the softest cloud. One day, my little cousin asked me if I had a boyfriend. And I said 'yes' because that's what you were to me. In a child's mind, it's not different if you're in love or not, it's all the same. You were my sweetheart. The one that made me blush looking at my phone. The one calling me pretty when I didn't feel like it. You were my everything.

And then you started taking your distance.

I didn't say anything. You were not mine to keep. But I definitely was yours. I had been yours since the first time you held my hand. Before you even called me beautiful. Before your arm wrapped around my waist to keep me close. I was entirely yours. I knew something was wrong when you stopped being flirty. When you only told me about your days and you stopped teasing me. I tried giving you some space, some time. But it hurt too much to do long, so I completely doomed myself. 'We need to talk'. I knew those words would hurt like hell if I ever received them. But nobody told me how hard it would be to press 'send' after writing them. Maybe I shouldn't have asked. Maybe I wouldn't be writing this if I didn't send this text. But I did. And maybe that's when our story needed to end.

When you told me you started holding another hand.

It broke something in me, maybe not my heart but definitely my trust. When I specifically told you I trusted you to tell me whenever you'd need to let go of my hand, ou said nothing. You lied. And that broke something in me. But how could I ever be mad? You weren't mine. You were free. I was not. You still held my heart in your hand and you'll probably always have a part of it with you wherever you go. You started holding her hand a few weeks ago, as you told me. But how could I ever put my trust in your words again? You said you were lost in your feelings but so was I. You were my everything and you just threw my hand away. At least, that's how it felt. I had done so much for you, shared so much, trusted too much. I said "I need time", you said "okay". You then asked if I was mad and at first I didn't lie. Even with everything we went through, I just couldn't be mad at you. But that truth became a lie when the shock faded away. I was so mad, so angry. How could you do that to me when all I've done was being honest with you? How could have I trusted you so easily? I was mad at myself for letting my guards down the moment you first looked at me with those eyes.

You were not different from the others. You all end up lying and breaking my trust. But you aimed higher and broke my heart in the process. I would've appreciated giving you the credit of being the first one, but that would be lying. It's not a surprise I loved you more than you did me, I got used to it. But I didn't expect it to be that painful whenever reality would've caught with me. I was done blaming myself, you were the one who cheated in our game. Not me. Not her. And that's why I couldn't even be mad at her. She didn't know. She thought she was holding a lonely hand when in fact I was there. Not completely, but I just couldn't let go of your hand.

I loved holding it, squeezing my fingers in between yours and feeling you squeeze in return. I miss this. I miss feeling you close to me, feeling your eyes looking at me with so much adoration and interest. I miss blushing because of the sweet words you'd tell me whenever I'd cross your gaze. I miss you.

And I know that even if you want me back, it would never be the same. I could never love you the way I loved you, talk to you the way I used to. Not because I don't want to. But because I couldn't, I wouldn't let myself. You broke something in me that day that will never be the same. You broke my trust, my faith, my self-confidence, you broke my heart. And I will never forgive you for that. No time, no patience will ever bring it back.

I will always accept your apologies because I know I deserve them, but you'll never hear me say "I forgive you". Because I don't.

tag list (people who interacted with the announcement of this vent and friends): @books4ever03 @shanimallina87 @hangmansgbaby @top-hhun-main @roosterforme @rawecreek @hookslove1592 @virgosunbaby

[causticsunshine]

Heyy whatcha been getting into lately? Alternatively, what have you been enjoying being a hater of lately?

okay first hello i love how this question is phrased hajdks very on brand for me and two uhhh oh boy a lot of stuff tbh!

so to preface. over the years i’ve had many phases where i get out of some irl person based media (usually 1d or some random tv show) and back into animated series, then the inverse happens, the cycle repeats, etc.? so i’m currently back into animated stuff as well as fully leaning into kpop everywhere instead of what i was doing before, where i was trying to limit my posting in general or limiting it to twitter under the guise of trying to seem slightly Normal™️ but now i’m fully leaning into whatever makes me happy and inspired and if that makes me annoying so be it

anyway—in terms of animated shows i’ve been watching one piece for almost a year now as for some reason i couldn’t get into it when i was younger and then was deterred by the series length, but i’m really enjoying it! i’m about to start the long ring long island arc if that means anything to anyone lol. i’ve also been watching and loooving dungeon meshi, and i’m currently reading it as well! i tried reading it a few years ago and stopped a few chapters in (idr why) but now i’m hooked and am struggling to pace myself…. i might try and do some fanart soon 👀

with kpop mmmm i’ve actually been a casual fan since like 2010 (listened to some 2008-2009 but it was mostly early shinee and random kpop compilations on youtube lmao) but have gotten in and out of it several times? now though i’ve been pretty Involved consistently since 2019/2020, although the groups i follow the closest are ateez, oneus and nct (127)!

i saw oneus in seattle last month after missing them twice and had such a good time (i still haven’t finished sorting my pictures though and haven’t posted like. any oops) and i am tryyyying (like. praying on my hands and knees lighting candles talking to the moon levels level trying) to get my hands on VIP1 tickets for ateez in tacoma and tickets go live next week so wish me luck as i will definitely need it with how pricey it’s likely to be… but also i will proudly commit heinous deplorable acts for ateez barricade sooo either way i’m determined to get my way? aka: i want and need my own y/n moment ahfksksn

also to clarify i’m not a shipper or whatever when it comes to kpop! i may enjoy the odd fic or will cringe read things with my friends but it’s nothing like HL for me; it’s a very different dynamic overall and i don’t get those kinda vibes in a serious way from any groups i follow? although with ateez… i can kinda see why they attract some of those kinds of fans i’m ngl

and on the side, i’ve actually been working on original content again! the one group of ocs i tend to pick up and put down has been temporarily sidelined for a pair i dumped a few years back but am currently reworking and actually have a story for now! idk if i’ll do anything proper with said story as comics are exhausting so rn i’m mostly word-vomming into docs and trying to nail down my character designs. when i’ve got things worth sharing though i do plan to share here as well, if anyone would be interested 👉👈

alternately when it comes to my haterism… i still greatly dislike and am exhausted with miss swiftie for numerous reasons and my god my art twitter is swathed in h*zbin h*tel content?? like actually plagued?? otherwise though there are just things i wish i saw less because i’m simply just not interested right now (aka 1d stuff) or in general and don’t want to start disliking those things because i’m seeing them too much

ok def rambled more than i meant to oopsie doopsie but yeah uhh that’s kinda it! anon i hope you are well and enjoying yourself in whatever you are doing rn 💕 and feel free to share if you feel so inclined to!

[xxwritemeastoryxx]

There are no happy endings. Just hurtful goodbyes and a disappointing life to follow the moments that were meant to last forever -xxwritemeastoryxx

I can't even begin to explain how grateful I am for all of my followers. From those that joined me at the beginning, to those that are just joining, and everyone in between, thank you for being here. Thank you for reading, encouraging, and supporting what I do here. Without you guys I would have left some time ago.

Tumblr is and will probably always be a hellsite that hardly ever works in my favor, but I try as much as I can to keep a positive attitude even though there have been several moments of wanting to throw in the towel. But I learned that it was okay to post and write at my own pace without stressing myself over it. So thank you for being understanding of that as well. 

But enough of that! Let’s get to the real reason that this celebration is happening.

This Blog Turns 4 on September 29th!

The first thing I ever posted here on tumblr was a two part fic helping me to work through grieving the loss of a family member (It’s cringe beyond belief and it’s why its not on the masterlist) and found my flow with writing angst. 

The pain I felt in my day to day was transferred into my writing and became as easy as breathing. The Emotional Torture Kink Club was made in the process. I’ve been given the nicknames Queen/Goddess of Angst. I’ve been ‘hated’, cursed and screamed at for the pain that I’ve caused with my writing and I don’t regret it for one second. 

So here we are starting the next year of this journey and I couldn’t think of any other way to celebrate this trip around the sun. So prepare to be hurt, prepare yourself with tissues, and brace yourself for some of the emotional torment that you may experience during this celebration. 

Starting September 25th up until October 8th you will be able to send in prompts for Drabbles and One shots, as well as send in some asks that are anything and everything that have to do with Angst. Below the cut is everything you will need for this celebration. I look forward to celebrating with you guys in the upcoming week!♥

The most dangerous lover is one who greets pain with a smile. -r.m. drake

Before we dive into the fun stuff, lets get a few things out of the way. Asks/requests will be accepted until October 8th at 11:59 PM PST. I will be working on them throughout the celebration as well as after since things may take time. I work and at times I am very drained from that. So please be patient. Some things are easier to get out than others. 

You can send as many asks as you’d like to. There’s no limit. You can be anon or not. Your choice! But before you send anything in, Please keep a few things in mind!

-I have written and posted for characters in TVDU and MCU. I’m willing to branch out and try to write for other fandoms and characters. However there are some shows/movies that I have not seen and wouldn’t be able to write for. Don’t hesitate to ask if you are unsure!

-Please Please Please be sure to include any triggers that you’d want me to avoid in your asks. While the aim is to emotionally torture you with heartbreak and death, I would never want to push your boundaries in any way!

-For the sake of Minors, please note that there will be nothing in terms of smut and can be read by all. However some topics may or may not be brought up. Please read what you feel comfortable with. 

And lastly, Have some fun!

It's strange how often a heart must be broken before the years can make it wise -sara teasdale

Angsty Q&A

💣 - Hardest part to write for _insert Angst Fic_?

🥀- I share a snippet of an Angst fics I'm working on

💔- What fic hurt you (the reader) the most and I'll give some BTS/deleted scenes/thought process for said fic.

🪦- If I could write a death scene for _insert character name_ how would you do it? But you can't use/do _insert scenario_.

⚰️ - Cast your mutuals as __fill in blank but Make it angsty__

✉️ - "Dear John" letters. I shatter your heart with a letter from a character. You pick the character and reason (unless you want me to) and I emotionally torment you with break ups and heart aches.

😢 - I'll recommend my favorite Soul crushing Angst Fics

😭- I'll tell you the fic that hurt the most to write.

☠️- Angst Playlist. I'll list 5 songs I listened to on repeat while writing a fic of my choice

🩸 - Gif it. You send an Angst inspiring gif and I write a drabble with it.

To this day, I still would choose the angst over something easier, when I really don't have to. -Jane Lynch

Make It Angsty Prompts

Send a Character and a Prompt, I write the fic. Choose Wisely. This will only end in heartbreak.

Please note: Maximum prompts per ask is two(2). While there are no limits on how many you can send (because I can’t really stop those that are on anon) Please be considerate and allow others to send something in as well! Be patient! Writing takes time.

1. I'm sick of missing you when you're right here.

2. Tell me I’m wrong. Say it. Please.

3. Oh my god, you love her. And she doesn’t love you back. How perfect.

4. You made me think I actually mattered.

5. I know I have a heart because I can feel it breaking.

6. You say this every time and I'm starting to realize that you never mean it.

7. Did you ever realize that you were hurting me? Or did you just not care?

8. I should be hurt. I should hate you. All of the signs have been there in front of my face and I chose to ignore them.

9. You knew? You knew and you did nothing to help?

10. You started this. The least you can do is finish ripping my heart out by telling the damn truth.

11. I used to beg you to do this with me. But I guess I just wasn't the person you wanted to do it with.

12. Did you ever love me? Or was my feelings a part of the game to?

13. I hate you. But I hate myself more for letting this go on for so long.

14. It's like I can't breathe anymore. And all I want is to breathe normally without feeling as if I'm dying all over again.

15. If you had have kept your mouth shut, then he’d still- he’d still be here!

16. "We'll get through this." "We both know only one of us is making it out of here."

17. You killed her! She was the only person I ever loved and you killed her!

18. Just pretend we’re okay, just for tonight, just for show. I’ll be gone by sunrise.

19. Have you ever thought that maybe you’re the problem? All these people keep leaving and you keep acting surprised.

20. The worst part was that I saw it coming, I knew you’d hurt me, hurt us, but I still kept you around.

21. At least look me in the eyes as you say it. That way you can watch as you break my heart.

22. "It was never supposed to be you." "Then who was it supposed to be? Because I'm the one that's standing here instead of them."

23. It's okay. I always knew there'd come a day where you'd do this to me.

24. "I can't do this." "You have to. It's the only way to get back to them." "If I do, I lose you." "Oh baby, you never lost me. I've been here the whole time."

25. Pick your own prompt! Just Remember it must be something that could be used for angst

Song Prompts

1. Surrender -Natalie Taylor

2. Let Me Down Slowly - Alec Benjamin

3. Hold On - Chord Overstreet

4. Can You Hold Me - NF

5. Already Gone- Sleeping at Last (I prefer this version more than the original)

6. Grand Piano - Niki Minaj

7. Drowning - Chris Young

8. Die From a Broken Heart -Maddie &Tae

9. Say Something -  A Great Big World

10. Wrong Direction - Hailee Steinfeld

And sometimes I want it all to fall into ruin. The world, the stars, the entire cosmos into a heap of nothing. A discarded dream, a used up plaything. All battered and bruised and empty like me.

Upcoming Fics

Starting Sept 29th I’ll be giving you guys a week of angsty fics. While I would normally list them here in this section, I’m gonna leave that as a mystery. Mostly because I’m constantly changing things and the line up could change between now and then. But just know you’ll be needing tissues that week. 

I look forward to seeing your asks and requests! Thank you guys for being here with me for this journey and I can’t wait to see what this next year brings us!

[noa-nightingale]

A very self-involved post about the Watcher guys opening the package I sent to the p.o. box for Steven. Yay!

Shane ripping the box open with too much force. Can’t blame him though, I put a lot of tape around that thing.

The ghoul boys mocking my entire existence. (They read a text out loud that was not meant to be read out loud on camera and I cringed the entire time. Why did I send this. Why did I think that was a good idea. Please don’t make fun of me. 😭 Like, I don’t blame them but this was also so embarrassing for me lmao.)

“Ja genau” - Shane after realizing the package is from Germany

The little boba and sushi thing I drew for Steven with acrylic paint (plus tiny easel). The Funkos are not from me but the orange thing on the left is - it is a keychain with a basketball (and also Steven’s name engraved on it). The golden thing under the easel is a little gemstone in the form of a cat.

Steven holding the little cat.

Ryan comforting Steven (they were talking about Simba’s death; I sent the cat and some cat stickers because of it).

✨

Other highlights:

Shane reading my actual last name on the package (if you heard it, no you didn’t) and Steven going “Oh is this the Nightin-”. Yeah, it is the Nightingale and not gonna lie, “the Nightingale” sounds like a badass nickname.

Ryan: “Oh it is Noa Nightingale!”

Steven: “I don’t deserve a Steven Lim Appreciation Week” Yes you do, and I know many people who agree with me.

Steven: “I am touched. To the bones. Not just the heart. Through the heart, to the bones.” Happy to hear it, especially after I made such a fool of myself earlier. Thanks Steven! ^-^

Very heartwarming for the most part. Except for the part where I wanted to hide under my bed and never show my face again.

If you read this, thanks for indulging me! And thanks for reading! Support Watcher on patreon if you can, it is very very worth it! 💕

[gimme-mor]

BETWEEN THE LINES: NIGHT COURT ELAIN & SPRING COURT FEYRE

*DISCLAIMER*

This is a really long post and based on my interpretation of the text.

This is strictly an analysis of Elain as a character because, in my opinion, there isn’t a lot of talk about Elain outside of ships and conversations about her character arc typically revolve around to whom she is paired, especially if that person is Azriel. She is her own character and gets the short end of the stick in the fandom because everyone is more concerned about who she’s shipped with rather than her as a character.

Also, anyone who is rude/condescending will automatically be blocked.

In ACOSF, SJM went out of her way on two occasions to highlight Elain not looking good in black. While it may be minor or insignificant to some, I think those instances were meant to show something about Elain specifically and what she may be going through in the Night Court. Elain has been a passive character for the most part, contributing to things in her own way earlier in the series. But after she was taken by the Cauldron, her safety has become everyone’s main concern and the other characters have slowly excluded her from courtly matters. In ACOWAR, this was understandable because she was traumatized and not fully present. However, as of ACOSF, Elain was still excluded from courtly matters with the other characters heavily relying upon Nesta, who made her reservations known, because they were on a time constraint and couldn’t afford to wait for Elain to reacquaint herself with her powers.

The fact that the other characters use the kidnapping situation to excuse their current actions toward Elain is eerily similar to the way Tamlin and Lucien used the Under the Mountain events to excuse Tamlin’s actions toward Feyre in ACOMAF. And the characters use Elain and Feyre’s safety to justify why neither of them should be involved. In my opinion, Elain in the Night Court resembles Feyre in the Spring Court because not only do they experience similar things, but both of them are (or were in Feyre’s case) in places that stunt their growth. Even though Night Court Elain isn’t exposed to all of the things that Spring Court Feyre was exposed to, the similarities in their experiences (and how those similarities might potentially impact Elain similarly to the way they impacted Feyre) shouldn’t be overlooked.

Being monitored

Feyre

I was too watched－too monitored and judged. Why should the bride of the High Lord learn to fight if peace had returned? That had been Ianthe’s reasoning when I’d made the mistake of mentioning it at dinner. Tamlin, to his credit, had seen both sides: I’d learn to protect myself...but the rumors would spread. (ACOMAF)

“Tamlin－Tamlin, I can’t...I can’t live my life with guards around me day and night. I can’t live with that...suffocation. Just let me help you－let me work with you.” (. . .) “I’m drowning,” I managed to say. “I am drowning. And the more you do this, the more guards...You might as well be shoving my head under the water.” (ACOMAF)

Elain

Nesta said, “The Trove. And what happened the last time I scried.” Feyre said, “We won’t allow any harm to come to Elain. Rhys warded her this morning, and we have eyes on her at all times.” “Eyes can be blinded,” Nesta said. “Not the ones under my command,” Azriel said with soft menace. Nesta met his stare, knowing he was the only one aside from Feyre who could truly understand her hesitation. He’d gone with Feyre into the heart of Hybern’s camp to save Elain－he knew the risk. “We won’t make the same mistake twice.” She believed him. “All right.” (ACOSF)

Trying to fit in

Feyre

I hated the bright dresses that had become my daily uniform, but didn’t have the heart to tell Tamlin－not when he’d bought so many, not when he looked so happy to see me wear them. Not when his words weren’t far from the truth. The day I put on my pants and tunics, the day I strapped weapons to myself like fine jewelry, it would send a message far and clear across the lands. So I wore the gowns, and let Alis arrange my hair－if only so it would buy these people a measure of peace and comfort. (ACOMAF)

I sometimes debated asking her to pray for me as well. To pray that I’d one day learn to love the dresses, and the parties, and my role as a blushing, pretty bride. (ACOMAF)

Elain

And he knew the cruelty of the Hewn City troubled her. But she hadn’t hesitated to come. When Feyre had offered to let her remain home, Elain had squared her shoulders and declared that she was a part of this court－and would do whatever she needed. (ACOSF)

So Elain had let her golden-brown hair down tonight, and pinned it back with twin combs of pearl. He’d never once in the two years he’d known her found Elain to be plain, but wearing black, no matter how much she claimed to be part of this court...It sucked the life from her. (ACOSF)

Pretending everything’s all right

Feyre

“Fine,” I breathed. I made myself look him in the eye, made myself smile. (ACOMAF)

Elain

“And you?” I made myself say. “Are you－all right?” Elain looked over a shoulder at me as we entered the foyer, then turned left－to the dining room. In the sitting room across the way, all conversation halted at the smell of food. “Why wouldn’t I be all right?” she asked, a smile lighting up her face. I’d seen those smiles before. On my own damn face. (ACOFAS)

Clothes not looking right on them

Feyre

I really, truly hated my wedding gown. It was a monstrosity of tulle and chiffon and gossamer, so unlike the loose gowns I usually wore: the bodice fitted, the neckline curved to plump my breasts, and the skirts...The skirts were a sparkling tent, practically floating in the balmy spring air (. . .) I might have dealt with it all if it weren’t for the puffy capped sleeves, so big I could almost see them glinting from the periphery of my vision. My hair had been curled, half up, half down, entwined with pearls and jewels and the Cauldron knew what, and it had taken all my self-control to keep from cringing at the mirror before descending the sweeping stairs into the main hall. (ACOMAF)

I again surveyed the room, my wedding gown hissing on the warm marble floors. I peered down at myself. You look ridiculous. (ACOMAF)

Elain

Elain in black was ridiculous. Yes, she was beautiful, but the color of her long-sleeved, modest gown leeched the brightness from her face. It wore her, rather than the other way around. (ACOSF)

Looking good in clothes that suit them and that fact being pointed out

Feyre

My high-waisted peach pants were loose and billowing, gathered at the ankles with velvet cuffs of bright gold. The long sleeves of the matching top were made of gossamer, also gathered at the wrists, and the top itself hung just to my navel, revealing a sliver of skin as I walked. Comfortable, easy to move in－to run. Feminine. Exotic. (ACOMAF)

But those claws now dug in－and my entire body, my heart, my lungs, my blood yielded to his grip, utterly at his command as he said, The fashion of the Night Court suits you. (ACOMAF)

Elain

Gone was the ill-suited black dress from the ball, replaced by a gown of amethyst velvet, her hair half-up and curling down to her waist. She glowed with good health. (ACOSF)

People not wanting them to be involved in things

Feyre

“I want to go.” “No.” I crossed my arms, tucking my tattooed hand under my right bicep, and spread my feet slightly further apart on the dirt floor of the stables. “It’s been three months. Nothing’s happened, and the village isn’t even five miles－” “No.” (ACOMAF)

“I could use my powers against Hybern.” “That’s out of the question,” Tamlin said, “especially as there will be no war against Hybern.” “Rhys says war is inevitable, and we’ll be hit hard.” Lucien said drily, “And Rhys knows everything?” “No－but...He was concerned. He thinks I can make a difference in any upcoming conflict.” Tamlin flexed his fingers－keeping those claws contained. “You have no training in battle or weaponry. And even if I started training you today, it’d be years before you could hold your own on an immortal battlefield.” He took a tight breath. “So despite what he thinks you might be able to do, Feyre, I’m not going to have you anywhere near a battlefield. Especially if it means revealing whatever powers you have to our enemies. You’d be fighting Hybern at your front, and have foes with friendly faces at your back.” “I don’t care－” “I care,” Tamlin snarled. Lucien whooshed out a breath. “I care if you die, if you’re hurt, if you will be in danger every moment for the rest of our lives. So there will be no training, and we’re going to keep this between us.” (ACOMAF)

Elain

“Nesta’s spine straightened. No one spoke, but their attention lingered on her like a film on her skin. ‘You will not go looking for it.’” (ACOSF)

“Then go off on adventures,” Nesta said. “Go drink and fuck strangers. But stay away from the Cauldron.” (. . .) “Keep out of this,” she hissed at her youngest sister. “I have no doubt you put these thoughts in her head, probably encouraging her to throw herself into harm’s way－” (ACOSF)

Amren said, “We do not have the time to wait for Nesta to decide. I say we approach Elain tomorrow. Better to have both of them working on it.” Azriel stiffened, an outright sign of temper from him as he said quietly, “There is an innate darkness to the Dread Trove that Elain should not be exposed to.” “But Nesta should?” Cassian growled. Everyone stared at him. He swallowed, offering an apologetic glance to Az, who shrugged it off. Amren drained her wine and said to Cassian, “Nesta has a week. One more week to find the Trove with her own methods. Then we seek out other routes.” She threw a nod toward Azriel. “Including Elain, who is more than capable of defending herself against the darkness of the Trove, if she chooses to. Don’t underestimate her.” (ACOSF)

“I think Eris is our ally, and will expect to dance with a lady of this court at the ball no matter what. I won’t let Feyre within five feet of him, Mor might kill him, and Amren is more likely to scare him off than win him over, so you and Elain are the only options.” “Elain doesn’t go near him,” Feyre said. (ACOSF)

Their safety being brought up when they want to be involved

Feyre

“Please. The recovery efforts are so slow. I could hunt for the villagers, get them food－” “It’s not safe,” Tamlin said, again nudging his stallion into a walk. The horse’s coat shone like a dark mirror, even in the shade of the stables. “Especially not for you.” He’d said that every time we had this argument; every time I begged him to let me go to the nearby village of High Fae to help rebuild what Amarantha had burned years ago (. . .) “People want to come back, they want a place to live－” “Those same people see you as a blessing－a marker of stability. If something happened to you…” (. . .)Tamlin said softly, “I can’t do what I need to if I’m worrying about whether you’re safe.” (ACOMAF)

“I’m sorry about earlier,” he murmured. “It’s fine,” I breathed. “I understand.” Not a lie, but not quite the truth. His fingers grazed lower, circling my belly button. “You are－you’re everything to me,” he said thickly. “I need...I need you to be all right. To know they can’t get to you－can’t hurt you anymore.” (ACOMAF)

“Tamlin got what I didn’t,” Lucien said softly, his breathing ragged. “We all heard your neck break. But you got to come back. And I doubt that he will ever forget that sound, either. And he will do everything in his power to protect you from that danger again, even if it means keeping secrets, even if it means sticking to rules you don’t like. In this, he will not bend. So don’t ask him to－not yet.” (ACOMAF)

“Did he let you take me today,” I said hoarsely, “so that I’d stop asking to help rebuild?” “No. I decided to take you myself. For that exact reason. They don’t want or need your help. Your presence is a distraction and a reminder of what they went through.” (. . .) “I know you wanted to help,” Lucien offered. “I’m sorry.” So was I. (ACOMAF)

Elain

“The last time we involved ourselves with the Cauldron, it abducted you,” Nesta countered, fighting her shaking. (ACOSF)

“Like calls to like,” Amren countered. “You were Made by the Cauldron. You may track other objects Made by it as well, as Briallyn can. And because you are Made by it, you are immune to the influence and power of the Trove. You might use them, yes, but they cannot be used upon you.” A glance to Elain. “Either of you.” Nesta swallowed. “I can’t.” But to let Elain involve herself, jeopardize her safety－ (ACOSF)

Nesta’s pulse pounded throughout her body. “Do you not remember the war? What we encountered? Do you not remember the Cauldron kidnapping you, bringing you into the heart of Hybern’s camp?” “I do,” Elain said coldly. (ACOSF)

If it was between her and Elain, there was no choice at all. She would always go first if it meant keeping Elain from harm. Even if she’d just hurt her sister more than she could stomach. (ACOSF)

Pushing back against what others want

Feyre

He hissed, “You have no idea how hard it is for him to even let you off the estate grounds. He’s under more pressure than you realize.” “I know exactly how much pressure he endures. And I didn’t realize I’d become a prisoner.” “You’re not－” He clenched his jaw. “That’s not how it is and you know it.” “He didn’t have any trouble letting me hunt and wander on my own when I was a mere human. When the borders were far less safe.” “He didn’t care for you the way he does now. And after what happened Under the Mountain…” The words clanged in my head, along my too-tense muscles. “He’s terrified. Terrified of seeing you in his enemies’ hands. And they know it, too－they know all they have to do to own him would be to get ahold of you.” “You think I don’t know that? But does he honestly expect me to spend the rest of my life in that manor, overseeing servants and wearing pretty clothes?” (ACOMAF)

Elain

Cassian shifted in his seat. “So we track down the Dread Trove－how?” Elain spoke from the doorway, having appeared so silently that they all twisted toward her, “Using me.” Nesta’s head went silent as Elain’s words finished sounding in the room. Feyre had twisted in her seat, face white with alarm. Nesta shot to her feet. “No.” Elain remained in the doorway, her face pale but her expression harder than Nesta had ever seen it. “You do not decide what I can and cannot do, Nesta.” (ACOSF)

“It nearly killed me. It trapped me like a bird in a cage.” Elain said, “Then I will find it. I might require some time to...reacquaint myself with my powers, but I could start today.” “Absolutely not,” Nesta spat, fingers curling at her sides. “Absolutely not.” “Why?” Elain demanded. “Shall I tend to my little garden forever?” When Nesta flinched, Elain said, “You can’t have it both ways. You cannot resent my decision to lead a small, quiet life while also refusing to let me do anything greater.” (ACOSF)

Being used as pawns against others

Feyre

“We need you to tell us everything,” Tamlin said. “The layout of the Night Court, who you saw, what weapons and powers they bore, what Rhys did, who he spoke to, any and every detail you can recall.” “I didn’t realize I was a spy.” Lucien shifted in his seat, but Tamlin said, “As much as I hate your bargain, you’ve been granted access into the Night Court. Outsiders rarely get to go in－and if they do, they rarely come out in one piece. And if they can function, their memories are usually...scrambled. Whatever Rhysand is hiding in there, he doesn’t want us knowing about it.” (ACOMAF)

Elain

Rhys angled his head at the not-quite question. “I trust in the fact that we currently have possession of the one thing he wants above all else. And as long as that remains, he’ll try to stay on our good side. But if that changes...His talent was wasted in the Spring Court. There was a reason he had that fox mask, you know.” His mouth tugged to the side. “If he got Elain away, back to Spring or wherever...do you believe, deep down, that he wouldn’t sell what he knows? Either for gain, or to ensure she stays safe?” “You let him hear everything tonight, though.” (. . .) I considered his question: Did I trust Lucien? “I don’t know, either,” I admitted, and sighed. “I don’t like that Elain is a pawn in this.” “I know. It’s never easy.” (ACOWAR)

Cassian glowered at Amren. “It’s not right to wield Elain as a threat to manipulate Nesta into scrying.” “There are harsher ways to convince Nesta, boy.” (ACOSF)

Although Elain and Feyre are surrounded by two different groups of people with varying levels of care for their wellbeing, they’re treated similarly which is hard to overlook. In Elain’s situation, Nesta, Azriel, and Feyre take on the “Tamlin role” (either undermining Elain’s attempts to contribute to things or preventing Elain from helping altogether) while everyone else takes on the “Lucien role” (validating the concerns of others while also enabling their behaviors, which doesn’t support Elain’s desire to be involved).

[captnjacksparrow]

Why do I ship SNS?

It is a known fact that when people experience a good media, they like to discuss various things they liked, hated, interpret what the creator trying to say and get something from what they have consumed. Eventually people end up in a shipping war if there are multiple possibilities. 

I started watching Naruto on a whim, hoping to see some ninjas in action with some revenge as a background (after all when you have power, there will always be a revenge). Am a sucker for revenge, btw. I am a person who hates romance in media. Because, every movie, book, novel, series has this same recycled romance plastered into every story even though the story don’t need at all. So, I am very tired of it. Every media portrays romance as something inevitable, necessary and something we can’t live without. That’s wrong. 

Usually, romance goes like this... Person A sees Person B... they hate each other and add some possessiveness, jealousy... they magically gets attracted through some shared experiences eventually... they kiss and make babies. There’s nothing wrong with this. It’s just very tiring as I’ve seen million forms of this same repeated trope. I always cringe and yell “Can you give us something different? Grrr.....”.

And also, my motto is that love can happen with any person. It can’t be restrained into certain boundaries. So, I don’t like to put some relationship under an umbrella called Gay, Lesbian, Straight or whatever. Of course, illicit relationships and incest are not normal and am not okay with it.

With all that being said...

My experience after watching the Shippuden series until episode 478 was “Wait, do they love each other?”. I know am very late to realize this, but I have never even viewed them with any romantic lens throughout. 

On my first watch, I was always under the impression that “They are friends”... But there are certain moments I felt “Wait, why are they doing like this which could’ve been handled in a different way!!” I will get to this later in this post. But those moments were overlooked by me because of my curiosity of “What happens next ??”. 

And on my rewatch, it only confirmed my view. 

The other popular ships like SS and NH put forth many points to invalidate what SNS represents. The most common being “They are reincarnated brothers” or  “They are best friends”. Am just going to debunk them from my point of view. 

Naruto and Sasuke are like brothers.....

Nope. 

The best brotherhood title, in this series, should officially go to Itachi and Sasuke. 

You can argue as much as you want that Itachi mindfucked Sasuke and killed his parents....yaada yaada.... 

It is repeatedly shown why Itachi put a curtain on his own clan. The reason is, Uchiha clan decided to forcefully take over the village. No matter how much innocent you are, you cannot take over something with force. Dot. I will write about this in a separate post.

In short, Sasuke realised how his clan members were wrong after hearing the story from the First Hokage, Hashirama Senju. That’s why he openly proclaimed “I am going to protect Konoha and become Hokage”. 

Back to the topic, Itachi and Sasuke are blood brothers. If I ship them both, then what you claim is very valid. 

The above gif says, “Sasuke, I know, I made a mistake by filling you with hatred. But whatever you decide to do from now on, I will love you always”. Meaning, He stopped treating Sasuke as a kid and accepts that Sasuke has his own path to walk.

This is exactly how brothers behave. I would do the same to my kid sister. You can see a fraternal instinct from Itachi’s eyes realizing that this is their last time together.

Another thing, Brothers trope always has this hierarchy.... Protect the younger sibling no matter what. It is evident from Madara/Izuna and Hashirama/Tobirama.

Not convinced?

If you pull the Indra and Ashura bullshit, let me tell you one thing. Indra and Ashura were separated and formed their own clan long ago. They eventually branched off into Uchiha and Senju clans. No way you can relate a century old blood relation as brothers. It’s just their chakra got reincarnated over and over. 

Don’t pull up an incest angle between Naruto and Sasuke. Because they never shared a womb. Dot. 

Naruto and Sasuke are Best Friends only.

You know what, you are almost right. I thought that for a very long time. Remember I never wore any shipping goggles ON. 

There are two types of best friend categories. Best Friends without a reason and Best Friends through rivalry. 

Best Friends without a reason in Narutoverse are: Shikamaru/Choji. 

They just became friends and became BFF. They won’t fight or hurt each other. But when you have something to share...you would go to that person and share everything honestly.

Best Friends through Rivalry: Kakashi/Obito, Hashirama/Madara, Naruto/Sasuke

I really cannot provide more proof for the first two pairings as Best Friends as it is not the scope of this post. Although the latter two also qualifies for shipping category. Why?

Because, the common thing among them is that all the three Uchihas awakened/reawakened their Sharingan for their best friend. But Hashirama/Madara and Naruto/Sasuke are the only pairings to awaken or evolve Sharingan when trying to break their bonds with each other. 

Special Brownie points for Madara. He had 4 brothers and lost 3 but still couldn’t awaken his Sharingan but when trying to break up with Hashirama, his eyes were brimming red. 

Sasuke’s Sharingan matures in the first Valley of The End.

That’s why I excluded Hashirama/Madara and Naruto/Sasuke from this Best Friends list.

Because to the both Uchihas, the other person meant something special which cannot be comprehended into a mere term called ‘Best Friends’.

Which is exactly why Kakashi/Obito would perfectly fall into this category.

The way they quarrel, fight with each other, protect each other are perfect scores for a friendship. What makes them best friends is when Obito decided to give his Sharingan despite Kakashi was always putting a cold air around him and most importantly asked him to protect his love ‘Rin’. Also Kakashi carried his friend’s will to his heart and passed on to Team 7.

It all falls under ‘In the memory of my Best Friend’ trope.

Obito may be a trash but he is a good friend. Because after Rin was killed, he massacred everyone around him except for Kakashi. He could have killed him. Understandable. Or he could have plucked his Sharingan back (because he literally plucked most of the Sharingans from the Uchiha clan massacre and kept those eyes as a reserve). This could have enabled him to use Susanoo. I believe Susanoo can only be used with Mangekyo Sharingan in both eyes. But for some reason, he didn’t. 

So what makes me think Naruto and Sasuke love each other, not as a brother and not as a friend but something beyond which I can’t term?

My way of shipping is not about marriage, sex and rearing babies. Because literally everyone does this as an obligation. 

So, I don’t ship them in terms of living together in my headcanon and having sex daily. Nope. But it is not wrong though if you ship in that sense.

In this Narutoverse, Women are just some stow away pieces whose sole existence is to fawn over their dreamboy and cry for them. (Usually literally nothing useful comes out of them). Me being a girl, as much as I hate this setup but I have come to terms with whatever it is and have accepted it. If you are a girl looking for a strong female character...... this is not the place. Watch something else. 

But I draw inspiration from male characters who are characterized deeply for which I have to applaud the creator. Reason being, the very first character which I connected with was Itachi. It was when Sasuke thinks about his past with his family in the flashback before the first VotE battle in part I. I will be writing a separate post about Itachi in this week. 

In short, If you are a person who wants inspiration, draw it from male characters. Not in a single moment, you stoop so low for characters like Hinata and Sakura. That’s not how I envision myself or any woman. Dot.

With all this being said, I ship them as a couple who necessarily don’t have to get married or have sex... But they each other has some special allowance towards each other in their hearts which no one can touch, not even their wives or children. 

This doesn’t mean I accept what came after episode 478 as they are literally something they made for $$$$$. 

There are some basic traits which are absolutely necessary for a ship to sail successfully. They are Acknowledgement, Reason, No Hierarchy, Influence, Owning each others rights and Privilege. (All these reasons should come from both the sides for the ship to be worthy)

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

Acknowledgement, I mean here, is to accept and acknowledge what they are to each other.

They both agree that they are Bonded/Friends verbally as well as emotionally.

To me, this is essential in any relationship especially for the ones you are trying to ship. I didn’t see this in any other ships like SS or NH where it is always one sided. Sakura confessed before the village entrance to which Sasuke said “You really are annoying!!”. Hinata proposed in Pain arc. Naruto didn’t even acknowledge her confession. He went on to beg for pardon for Sasuke. Again she proposed in the War at the expense of Love Cupid “Neji”. Naruto went on to joke with Minato that Sakura is his Girl Friend. 

If I were in both of these girls place, I would literally be mad and drop this shit right away.

Wheras in SNS, I saw both the people I am trying to ship were asking “What am I to you?”, to which they reply “You are my friend”. To me this is very important.

Reason

To those who are saying “Love is blind”, “Love is Madness”, “Love needs no reason”, you all need self-evaluation. This is not some K Drama situation where you don’t need any reason. You should know why you love someone and why you need the other’s presence.

Naruto’s reason is very simple.

I could provide many reasons. But here, Sasuke, without any reservations... knowing full well of the consequence if he feed Naruto but still extended the helping hand to someone who was always hostile. It is just like what Iruka did. And many incidents which happened during Land of the Waves arc are evident.

He wanted to be friends with this lonely Uchiha boy way back when he was around 7 or 8 for a simple reason that he understands his pain more than anyone. But he really became friends when they were grouped together for Team 7.  

Sasuke’s reason goes even way beyond when Naruto series started.

“Because he felt relief”.

Imagine a young boy who witnessed a massacre before his eyes and lost everyone he loved. But somehow another young boy of his age made him feel relieved. This explains why Sasuke went all out of his way to make friendship with Naruto despite being aloof. 

Isn’t this what we want from someone we love?  

Rather than being completely insensitive about an orphan life or just stalking from the distance and never offered any support, I would prefer someone who understands my pain from their heart and try to reach me. Sasuke reached out to him by offering the lunch and Naruto reached out to him by making him his rival and bug him.

NO HIERARCHY

This is pretty self-explanatory. Unlike blood brothers, there should be no hierarchy in a relationship I want to ship. 

We saw Naruto yells at Sasuke many times absolutely for no reason, despite Sasuke bearing this cold attitude. Probably he is the only person who can call him by such variety of names. 

Sasuke always calls him by his trademark ‘Usuratonkachi’. Sometimes he calls him fool just like everyone. But was never insulting or mean towards Naruto. Except for that time in the final battle, he made fun of his Shadow Clone jutsu citing his loneliness. 

In short, be it a physical fight or verbal offense.... neither of them wilts like a flower. They equally give back. 

The only other person who can verbally assault Sasuke is Karin and probably the only girl who never addresses him as “Sasuke-Kun”. 

U-SU-RA-TON-KA-CHI..... Why do Sasuke spend such an effort to call someone with a 6 syllabic word, instead NA-RU-TO, a 3 syllabic word which is way more convenient to call?? I always wonder.

POSITIVE INFLUENCE

I don’t have to spell out anything here. There are many obvious examples but will try to keep it short. 

Naruto became strong because of Sasuke. He trained hard for 3 years with Jiraiya , a month with Kakashi developing Rasen Shuriken and controlled Kurama’s power with Killer Bee. Except for Sage Mode jutsu everything he learnt was all for bringing Sasuke back. 

In short, Sasuke is Naruto’s predominant strength. 

Though Naruto was not the source of strength for Sasuke, but he brings out many vibrant emotions in Sasuke which he really needed for his traumatic mind otherwise he would always be that cold angry brooding doll without any emotions and I am sure Sasuke enjoys to banter with Naruto.

LOL!!! I don’t know why Sasuke feels competitve here. It’s pretty childish even for Sasuke.

Friendly tease :-) I think he also protected Sakura in this scene. He can also ask her the same, isn’t it? I mean as a friend. 

The best one is yet to come

It’s incredibly hilarious to see how Sasuke pouts when he was with Naruto. Sakura!!!! You third wheeling joker :-D :-D

Throughout Shippuden, Sasuke never shows his emotions with anyone. He either looks very cold or angry.

Reminiscing his Team 7 days, for a split second. 

Probably the only positive emotion is this, in all of the Shippuden. I mean not counting Episode 478.

I don’t think Sakura brought any kind emotions in Sasuke except annoyance when they were together in Team 7. Or Hinata too. These girls just moan “Sasuke-Kun”, “Naruto-Kun” but brings nothing to the table. Total wastrels!!!!!

OWNING EACH OTHER’S RIGHTS

This section is exactly where SNS moves on to a whole different level.

Sasuke wanted to inflict his pain over everyone who lives in peaceful Konoha for what it did to Itachi. (though I don’t really accept with Sasuke here since he never even bothered to question about his clan’s history, but what he was doing is understandable. Just like Naruto tells him).

But the context here is Sasuke is on a murder rampage. Starting from the Kage Summit, killing Danzo, unnecessarily hurting Karin and almost reached a point where he could not be stopped anymore. Then Ms.Annoying appears. She literally have no fucking clue what Sasuke is going through. So started to spout nonsense that she wanted to go with Sasuke-Kun with an ulterior motive to kill him without a strong resolve. 

The interesting SS dynamics here is Sasuke asks Sakura “Do you know what I want?” and to which she gives a carefree-shitty-pathetic answer “I don’t care. I will do whatever you want”. Geez!!!

If I were Sasuke, I would think, “This person standing before me don’t even care about what I want but coming with an intent to kill me and not only that... she is a kunoichi from Konoha where I planned to inflict my pain by slaughtering them.. I better ram my Chidori and be done with it”... He doesn’t see her as his former Teammate. He just want to kill that person.

However, Kakashi deflects the attack and saves Ms.Useless. 

( Me : I am a Sasuke fan through and through. But, Sakura..... You always says you will do this, do that.... But you never succeed at anything... Why is that? Why are you even continue being a ninja? No one asked you to kill Sasuke, you decided to. But why don’t you kill him. Probably you would’ve earned my begrudging respect... Pffft” ****sighs with a heavy second hand embarassment)

Anyways, Sasuke becomes an unstoppable maniac at this point because he was very irritated on seeing Kakashi and Sakura spouting some unreachable nonsense. So he started to attack Kakashi as he is even more irritated on seeing his Sharingan.

Again, Ms.Idiot wants to kill Sasuke when he is at his weakest point due to chakra exhaustion and that too from behind his back. (You!!! Gutless wrench). Sasuke sensed this and attempted to kill her again... (Naruto!!! You idiot. Why did you save her...)

However, Naruto appears and saves her. Naruto and Sasuke’s eyes meet each other.

But somehow Sasuke calmed down and hears out Naruto for what he has to say. He says, “Whatever you are doing until now, it’s understandable”. 

Kakashi wanted to kill him and Sasuke got riled up and prepare his Chidori. Anyways, Naruto intervenes and they go to some meta physical plane and talks privately. And Naruto comes up with his idea and announces as below:

Me: Naruto!!!! Sweety..... Do you realize that you have a big dream of becoming a Hokage which you have been shouting from Day 1? But still you want to overthrow everything for that one person who is in unbearable pain. It’s alright. But you don’t want to go alone or send him alone. No Best friend would go this far. And to those Sakura shippers.... Why didn’t Sakura try to bear the burden? Why didn’t she come up with this Idea? Afterall, you spout nonsense like ‘Sakura saved Sasuke from Darkness, isn’t it?’ And, Naruto.... Who gave you the right to take his hatred and shoulder the burden? And what makes you think you are that only person to do it??? Sasuke, might have other special person in those 3 years. How can you decide on Sasuke’s behalf??? Aren’t you going overboard ?

The answer to all the above is simple, Naruto can risk anything for Sasuke. And he clearly knew that Sasuke’s only living bond is him.

And what happened next was almost unbelievable and for the first time I thought ‘What is it with these two guys?’. 

Sasuke agrees with Naruto’s proposition to not destroy Konoha before fighting with Naruto. 

Me: Sasuke!!!! You have every right to reject his proposition. Since, he was not in your life for the past 3 years, your side of bond with Naruto should have been cut-off long back, right? Sasuke??? Well, at this point he was just your former Team 7 member. You don’t need to honor your proposition. You can attack Konoha anytime. Why did you accept?

Also Me: Sweety!!! Why do you always question Naruto ‘Who am I to you’? Why do you need his opinion always? There is an annoying princess standing behind Naruto vying for your attention. And yet you didn’t even ask her this question at any time. But before Naruto, you completely calmed down from your rampage and willing to wait for what he has to say plus asking for his validation. After all you don’t care about anything, why just Naruto???

And the reason being, Naruto is still his closest bond which he couldn’t cut off despite trying very hard. After all, Many years ago, Sasuke was the one, who readily jumped in to protect Naruto knowing full well that it’s a trap. He was ready to throw away his revenge for this boy back then. Sasuke is afraid that he will give in to this bond once more and Naruto is his weakness which he wants to eliminate so badly.

This is definitely not any Best Friend would do..... Fix that in your mind.

The purpose of these GIFs is not show how protective Sasuke is..... Well, I can talk about it all day. Let’s save it.

Me: Yo!!!! Sasuke..... You wanted to kill Naruto.... You said so yourself under the bridge. Meaning, He is the only person standing between your goal and your resolve and Naruto is always known to weaken your resolve. And yet why are you protecting him here? There is absolutely no need. Because, if there is a situation like Kaguya where both of you are must needed to save this world , then there is a reason to save him. But why now? Plus do you know, if Naruto dies, then Madara’s plan may not succeed because if a Jinchuriki dies, tailed beast also dies. It is perfect for your Revolution, isn’t it? Who gave you the right to own his life? Obito has his reason to kill Naruto, why not let him?Why is it that you want to personally remove him from your life? If he is dead by an external factor, you can carry on your path without any interference and pain. Why go so far to protect him ?

The answer is Sasuke values Naruto’s life more than his own even during his Team 7 days. He has this high esteem for Naruto and almost consider it to be a shame if some worthless fool takes his life. And Sasuke never hated Naruto. He once hated Itachi and his resolve to kill was real and intense. But when Orochimaru asked him to kill 1000 people for practice, Sasuke never killed anyone. He even implemented no kill policy for his team “Hebi”. So, someone like Sasuke who never liked to kill random innocent people, how could he let some trash take away a life, he considers dearly to the same level of Itachi? That’s why in this situation, his body moved on his own to protect something special for him. He may not agree it, but he always shows it.

But some other ship wankers try to say Sasuke may have said “You are annoying” but inside he deeply loved her which is why he was smiling. If so, Why didn’t Sasuke never showed his care not even once? He not only tried to kill her twice when she was defenseless but also let her die twice or didn’t bother at all during the war. Or show me where these soul level connection happened between SS or NH

In short, Sasuke and Naruto own each other’s rights unconsciously. Because they are the only ones who can understand each other’s soul which nobody can reach.

Me: Oh, by the way Sasuke, I think Susanoo should be used like this. You really don’t need your hand to protect Naruto. Susanoo can do it’s work for you. Minato would be proud though!!!!

PRIVILEGE

Most of the points I written above are in and of itself is a privilege they give for each other and not for anyone else. Privilege is essential in a ship. Because it shows how different a loved one is from normal people. 

For Naruto, 

I originally want to put how he begs for forgiveness on Sasuke’s behalf before Raikage and weeps immeasurably before hyperventilating. But this one trumps the other. Naruto literally broadcasted everyone how important Sasuke is to him and how he regretted not offering his friendship at that time and how he couldn’t stop Sasuke from reaching Orochimaru. 

If you want to inspire Alliance shinobi forces, you should have shown how you worked so hard from the bottom to top. Projecting Sasuke as your regret and inspiring people shows how deeply you prioritize this person which affects you after so many years and hence, you don’t want any more regrets. 

It’s very unconventionally romantic which passes the shipping category in flying colours. 

For Sasuke,

The following is the Land of the waves arc which was novelized in the name of Innocent Heart, Demonic Blood released in 2006. 99.9% of the material is exactly as it happens in Manga/Anime. 

This is the privilege Sasuke provides for Naruto. “ But coming from Sasuke, It almost counted as a hug”... 

BROWNIE POINTS:

Now, the following are the scenes which add a mysterious flavour to this ship. I sincerely don’t understand why Kishimoto put this. I mean I am absolutely happy with it, but why? What was he thinking while drawing these scenes? 

It’s also strange that, whenever they clash a Chidori with Rasengan..... They always gets repelled to their own sides and fall with a loud thump. But Naruto’s posture looks very perfect, I mean it looks like someone carried him and laid him down. Anyways, What’s Sasuke doing on Naruto’s side?? He should have fell on the opposite side. Why didn’t he walk away? There is absolutely no reason for Sasuke to come over to Naruto’s side and have an intense meaningful gaze. 

This is another mysterious plus intense scene. I am still wondering, Is this really Sasuke? He is a person who avoids casual touches with anyone other than his brother. I’ve seen so many times Sasuke rejecting hugs from Sakura. I can’t even imagine what Kishimoto was thinking. 

If you people pass these scenes off as Brotherhood or Best Friend chemistry... Then you lack basic human emotions. That’s all. 

Me: Well, Sasuke, If you really want to kill him, you should have shovelled your sword right through Naruto’s vital point when you made that exuberant landing. There is literally no need for you to draw a long sword in close quarters. And what about the Personal Space??? With your speed, you can land without leaning on Naruto’s shoulders... 

Also Me: Yo, Naruto... You were panicking when Sai does the same....but you don’t even flinch when Sasuke invades your personal space????

Anyways, it’s funny that both the intense scenes I have mentioned here were initiated by Sasuke. Quite strange and thrilling.

So, to conclude.... All these scenes I have mentioned  made me unconsciously ship them as a pair. With all these being said, I believe all the ingredients for a good romance were laid perfectly. A moment of impulsive tension or affection, say a hug, between them after a difficult battle could mess with both and make a romance happen. And I don’t think either of them will deny especially Sasuke. 

I don’t see any of this aspect in other popular ships such as SS and NH. If I am Sakura or Hinata in this universe, I will not be okay with my pair doing all these things with other person. I intentionally left scenes from Episode 478 as it is so intense and require a separate post. I am happy that even without Episode 478, SNS ship sails high. So, I believe both Sakura and Hinata are still fourth wheeling their respective pairs in Boruto universe also, I guess. 

P.S: I don’t watch Boruto

Final memento:

No way a friend will look this mesmerized on seeing the other one. 

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Let’s talk: Vlive Asks and comment/chat discussions

From @cottoncandykings​: Hello! As u probably know jimin just went live recently and again he mentioned mandaggo and discussing about doing it with tae. I just find it so weird though. I mean jimin keeps constantly mentioning it and its not like vminnies were begging or dying for a vmin live everyday even before jimin mentioned it last year. Even now most including myself dont really care that much ofc i m happy if they do one together. But the way jimin keeps mentioning it is so weird. Like surely if he wanted to do it so badly he could have talked to tae privately and arranged it by now. And if tae is the one that doesnt want to do it then idk why jimin is pushing it. But what was really weird to me this time was that he said there were lots of comments about mandaggo yesterday in zoom call and yet they didnt mention it yesterday but suddenly today without prompting he talks about it. I also hope no one spammed the zoom call chat or the vlive chat with requests for vmin live (i didnt see any) bcoz thats just unnecessary and demanding. I hope vminnies wont demand/ ask for another memeber when one of them is live. Its just disrespectful. This turned into a rant sorry. Do you think it was weird too?

Since Admin 2 can’t type their thoughts themselves, I’ll relay their thoughts to you instead, since they had more thoughts/opinions/ideas in regard to this than I do, to be honest.

Admin 2 is sure that there is a good chance that we will get a vmin vlive sometime soon, which I know contradicts their original opinion and post from a few months ago, but there’s a reason for it. During the zoom meeting between BTS and ARMY they noticed something I don’t think anyone else noticed, or at least neither of us has seen any vminnies mention it anywhere, which in conjunction with Jimin’s vlive today and saying how he’d talk to Tae about doing a mandaggo vlive again, as well as another observation a little while ago, leads them to this conclusion.

So, the observation from the zoom meeting. Basically at one point when the question of Jimin doing a vlive arose Tae looks at Jimin and then he nods while smiling which in turn makes Jimin smile as he turns away from Tae and back to face toward the camera before answering the question and saying how he’ll come visit us the next day. Which he did.

Then the other observation from a while ago, this one being from their OT7 vlive celebrating their BBH100 #1 on June 29th where at one point Jimin says something but slips into satoori after which Tae encourages him to say that again but this time in the Seoul accent, so the way they actually should speak, which Jimin says isn’t difficult but he doesn’t actually end up repeating what he said.

And lastly in today’s vlive Jimin mentioned how he’s using satoori quite often but that he isn’t all that good at doing it on command or at teaching it to others, which is something he’d have to do for mandaggo but I’m sure he’d manage just fine if the time came for it.

Based on that Admin 2′s thoughts are basically that Jimin really meant it when he said, last year, that he’ll bring Tae around for a vlive, that it wasn’t a joke or a way to tease us with something he knew he wouldn’t be able to deliver, but rather that up until this point they weren’t quite sure how to do it. Which sounds a bit odd, I know, but what they mean is that if vmin were to just sit down in front of the camera and were supposed to just talk based on what the chat would give them, it would likely just turn out awkward and weird and no one, including them, would really have fun. Even more so when we take into account how idiotic the chat is during regular vlives so now imagine if those two were to do one together that’s just a casual chat. It would likely end up in disaster and honestly I wouldn’t wish it upon them to read all those awful comments that they would likely get, even worse ones than they already get normally, to be honest.

But now that the whole satoori thing was brought up, and Jimin actually mentioned mandaggo and wanting to bring it back after so many years, Admin 2 thinks that they must’ve finally figured out a solution to their problem, if you can call it that. Doing mandaggo would basically mean they would have an activity, something to do similar to how they did those ASMR videos for the Japanese Fan Club which were fun and cute, and so Admin 2 thinks that perhaps chances are we will finally get the vlive we’ve waited for so long (though like many others I’ve long given up the idea).

Another confirmation is that during his vlive today Jimin basically said that he only came by for a little while since they are quite busy and had to soon get ready for work with the other members but that he’ll return in two or three weeks for a more proper, longer, vlive. So, he could’ve treated today’s vlive as the promised one but instead he saw it more as a bridging one between the zoom meeting and the proper vlive he wants to do, so is it the farfetched to think that he had proper plans for a vlive, like doing mandaggo, but it just wouldn’t have worked out time wise today so he moved the actual vlive he wanted to make to a later date?

One last thing (well two actually) that has nothing to do with this question but Admin 2 wanted me to include it anyway is that one, have you noticed how Tae and Jimin were both on weverse around 3 am (until almost 4am (also both of them posting a comment to some post at 03:41 am KST)) one after the other (though with one day of a break in between them) recently and then also two, that Jimin was up until like 6 am (since he posted on weverse around that time) on the 8th and then during the zoom meeting Tae answered a question by saying that he’d been awake until 6 am the previous day (also the 8th) since he wanted to see the sunrise? Which is also something an anon mentioned to us. Curious, isn’t it?

From anon: I request both admins to please post this ask. So jimin wwnt live today and one of the accounts on twt posted a screen cap of them commenting 'touch your hair if vmin is real' in the live chat and jimin's reaction to it. Now idk if it is an edit or real. No matter i just want to say its not ok to bring up ships in front of the members no matter which ship it is. We dont know the reality of their relationship so lets not make them uncomfortable. Its not a joke. Its not funny. Be respectful the members are real people.

(Admin 1 taking over from this point onward) This ask nicely ties into the last one that’ll be further down in this post since they cover a similar issue of sorts. But let’s start with this one asking about, essentially, vlive comments and the things fans ask/comment, which also ties in with the above ask as well.

The thing with the vlive chat, and especially comments/questions that are like anon said, questions or “commands/requests” about touch your hair if XYZ ship is real or cough twice if you love XYZ member or, likewise, comments such as where is XYZ member or what are the other members doing, unfortunately those have been a steady and unchanging part of the vlive chat since basically forever. It’s been an issue on and off with different intensities though I feel like it’s gotten worse again this year. Particularly if we look back at the vlive Tae did with Hobi and Yoongi and how essentially the entire chat was filled with comments related to Xkook and not much else.

If my memory doesn’t fail me we once even had a situation some years ago (2016) where the chat during Hobi’s vlive was so bad, as in so full of questions about that other members instead of him, that you could see he was upset about it and eventually he handed over the vlive to Jimin, whom the chat had requested Hobi to visit, and Hobi just left. And I can’t blame him for it since the chat must’ve made him feel like basically no one cared about him so what was even the point of him being there, right?

Personally I’ve long given up looking at the comments during vlive because they just make me cringe and feel bad for the members, especially when I think back to vlives such as Yoongi’s D2 one last year where he was so excited to talk about the songs and the process of making the mixtape and yet so many of the comments were just unrelated nonsense and annoying request like speak english or can you say my name or say hello in XYZ language. If it makes me question why the people posting those questions are in the chat, why they are fans to begin with, imagine what the members must feel like, how discouraging that must feel like. After all they are musicians and yet so rarely do they get questions about that. Or rather they do get them but they are just drowned out by nonsense. Which is a shame. And also very disrespectful but any attempts that were made to remind people to be respectful, to remember their place as fans, to focus on the member that’s doing the vlive instead of asking about the others, and to keep ships away from the members have failed because some don’t care and will continue to not care.

From anon: what are your opinions on the Qs that were asked during that zoom meeting thing between BTS and ARMY?

Now I’d like to preface my answer to this last question by saying that by no means do my grievances come from a place of jealousy or anything. I’m very happy for all the ARMYs that won their spot, that they got to participate in the event and that BTS got to see ARMYs again even if only on screens and not in person still. No, my issue stems from something completely different, and I don’t want to say that the system chose the wrong people, because that would be mean and also who even knows how the winners were chosen, if it was pure luck or there were some actual criteria that went into the process, but the fact is that only a select 200 ARMYs got that spot out of however many that applied, so basically for some this was a once in a lifetime chance, right, even just getting this close to asking Bangtan a question and have really great chances of having them give you an answer while acknowledging you somewhat instead of just seeing pure words on a screen, you know what I mean?

Now imagine you are one of those 200 ARMYs and you get the chance to fill the chat with questions along with the other 49 participants of your session and you decide that asking questions such as what it’s like for Jimin to work as angel, if Namjoon ever broke a bicycle, or why JK smells the crowns of the other members heads? Or even worse, you decide to ask about JKs shower routine and in which order he washes his body? And sure, the “fault” doesn’t fall completely on the ARMYs alone, after all it’s the members who read out those questions and not some magical off screen entity, and since I wasn’t part of the event I can’t say with a hundred percent certainty that no one asked any “proper” questions, but if those were the questions that ended up being read out loud, is it that hard to guess that likely all the questions looked similarly? 

Which brings me to my main grievance of it all: have you forgotten that you are fans of musicians and not reality TV stars or vloggers/influencers? I know there were likely no rules for what questions you could or couldn’t ask (except for probably ones that were 100% about shipping or far too personal), but really, you get to ask your favorite band a question, something you might never, ever get the chance to do again, and your first thought isn’t to ask about their music but instead about some unimportant nonsense like the angel question or if they differentiate between the clothes they wear at home and those they sleep in? Like sure the angel one was kinda funny, maybe, and Jimin handled it in a cute way, I applaud him for it, but was that really necessary?

I know someone asked JK about Decalcomania, as well as Tae about his mixtape, and Yoongi/Jimin about Tony Montana (season 2), but other than that were there any other questions about their music? Perhaps I’m overthinking things, maybe I’m exaggerating and maybe I’m the only one who sees an issue with this, but if I would’ve won a spot, I’d rather have asked something about their process when writing lyrics or creating beats or how they prepare when learning new choreographies, what it’s like to be on tour (though perhaps that would be a mean question seeing as tours aren’t really something that’ll continue being possible for a while still), you get the point.

It makes me wonder if it was just bad luck or if it had something to do with how old the participants were (I saw some being as young as fifteen), which isn’t to say that teens can’t ask smart questions because they definitely can just like adults can ask stupid ones as well, but somewhere something, in my opinion, just went weirdly. And maybe that was the point of it all, for the event to be casual, funny, lighthearted, but my question then is when is the time for music discussions? For fans to ask those types of questions that actually have something to do with the boys careers? When even journalists aren’t asking them proper questions, ARMYs aren’t either, so what is the point of it all then?

Then again, after the event concluded and Seokjin came onto vlive he seemed so happy and excited, so maybe they had fun (I mean they seemed to have fun) and didn’t mind at all that the questions were lighthearted and silly, maybe I’m the one making mountains out of molehills. I don’t know, but anon wanted to know my thoughts/opinions, and this is them. Once again, I don’t mean to be mean toward the ARMYs that got rightfully in, that won, and I don’t want to insult them for the questions they asked, perhaps I just expected/hoped for something a little different? And perhaps I’m the only one. I don’t know. 

[todaydreambelieversfic]

Author Spotlight: Gleefulpoppet Day 3

Author Spotlight: @gleefulpoppet​​

How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

This is going to sound obnoxious and pretentious (cringing). I’d say at least ten-twelve. I know I’ve read it at least half a dozen times before I send it to my beta reader, and then I reread it when I fix it and then again before I post on AO3. And even after it’s published, I’ve gone back and fixed things.

If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?

None of my fics are even a year old, but there are some things I would change about Pressed Against the Glass. Nothing major that anyone would notice but me. I’ve learned a lot the last year, and I think I could tighten up some of the structure.

What do you look for in a beta?

Well, my beta fell out of the sky like an angel. I couldn’t find one, so I started posting Pressed Against the Glass last October without one (mind you, this is a 250k word story that I was posting one chapter a day), and JayHawkWrites messaged me on Tumblr to say she’d jump in and edit it for me. We worked on it almost as a full-time job for two weeks because every day, a new chapter was posting and one of those chapters was 18k long! She’s stuck with me since, and I am grateful she was so kind to me.

If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

Oh gosh. I don’t know if I could ever do that! There are so many stories I want more of, though. The ones I can think of are actually ones that have been abandoned, does that count? The two off the top of my head that I would LOVE to read the rest of would be The Nanny by Nellie12 and Night to Night by loveheartlover.

Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?

I take HUGE liberties and write mostly AU. What I find interesting is taking the essential core of a character and then asking myself, “What if?” What if they had grown up in different circumstances? Or if they hadn’t been bullied, or if they met someone earlier or later? It’s taking a character you relate to on some level, putting them inside your own head, and seeing if you can figure them out in a new place or environment. For me, it’s the most fun to think about Klaine out there in a million different realities.

Talk about a review that made your day.

Big heart eyes. Every single comment makes my day. It really does. I wake up every morning with a secret hope that there’s a comment on one of my stories or even kudos. Not out of a need to feed my ego, I promise! It’s because I want to know the story lives on somewhere… That it’s not lost. It’s the feeling like all of a sudden we share this connection. A moment as author and reader where we both know the same story, and there is something about that that makes me so happy.

Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

I haven’t yet (thank you!). I’m not a confrontational person though, so I’d just delete it if it was mean for the sake of being mean. If they had some constructive criticism or a genuine concern or question I would reply to the best of my ability.

What advice do you have to people just starting to write?

Keep going! Dive in! Write it! There is never perfection—only progress. And, the solution and resolution are always in the doing. You are never going to get better at writing stories if you aren’t writing. Jump in; there is ALWAYS room for you!

Which fic do you most like to discuss with other people? Why?

I loved having a few pretty in-depth discussions with people about Pressed Against the Glass. It was wonderful to make some new fandom friends with that story. It was my first multi-chapter fanfic, and people were so kind! That was a fun time in my life to get messages on Tumblr about that story and what it meant to people.

What's one aspect of writing fic that gets you really excited?

That anything is possible. We’ll never run out of words or ideas. There is nothing finite about it. The connections I make as a writer to the characters I create in my head and the connection to the readers through comments. It’s beautiful synergy, and I feel blessed to be on this journey right now with my writing!

***

Check out Gleefulpoppet’s Fics

A Glimpse at the Life of Anderson & Hummel [aka Verse Table of Contents] -  We're breaking the 4th wall with this one. Read all the juicy details in "A Glimpse at the Life of Anderson & Hummel," an exclusive story by Sabie Blathers for New York magazine In the Know: An Insider’s Guide to Today’s Fanfiction. It *includes* the first look at the Anderson-Hummel infamous spreadsheet.

Please Remind Me Who I Really Am -  He may feel broken, but is there light on the horizon? A glimpse at what happens to Blaine after Chapter 1 in the Pressed Against the Glass story. (You will want to read at least through Chapter 4 in the main story before reading this one-shot).

Two Pumpkins & Twenty Monkeys -  The boys decide to stay home for Halloween, but when Kurt discovers a mysterious box in the back of Blaine's closet, it turns out to be the best decision ever.