#meant to post about this uhhhh weeks ago

[friendshipgun]

hello friends here to holler about a small fandom event on dreamwidth probably no one has heard about bc it's on dreamwidth! it's fun tho and low pressure so if you, like me, are in a small fandom and are interested in seeing more fic/art for your fandom, here u go:

smallfandomfest runs twice a year and is based around suggesting and filling prompts for fandoms that have under 2000 fics on ao3. you don't have to fill a prompt if u suggest one, and vice versa, it's just for funsies, not an official exchange or anything. you don't even need a dreamwidth account to participate.

prompt submissions run thru tomorrow [11/21], so you'll need to be speedy about getting those in, but prompt claims/fills start 11/23 and run through the end of January.

anyway here's the rules post for submitting prompts (you can find a link to the current prompt list there as well) & here is the list of qualifying fandoms

(if ur fandom isn't on the list you can ask about it here, tho it may be too late for it to be added in for this current fest. if u don't have a DW account and would still like to see if ur fandom qualifies just lmk and i can ask for u nbd)

(also YES Evil West is on the list i even did a whole pimp post for it earlier this year which u can take a gander at here. c:)

[oodlezsinbin]

Embiggen the Pax. Stop having them be small.

[ruskatuskapuskasapuska]

[WIP] (at least the rest of these?) (I really just wanna post something, plus I'm liking how these are looking so far hehe)

So uhhhh started making potential stickers of BtD's and TPoF's main cast...? SIdea started rolling about a week ago and colored the first 3 (4?) today :'D Meant to do just flat colors or something but oopsie some shading and such here and there and i guess this set the standard for the remaining 10 aaaaghhhh

fun(?) fact: considered doing rest of tpof's desert gang too but that snowballed into so many other characters that i managed to tell myself a stern "no. <3" (i meaaaan, might still do them some day...)

this sidetrack will be the death of me.

[ladyofnegativity]

Hello,

Over a week ago, you left these comments beneath this post:

Excellent prose, but I’m curious what exactly you meant by them, because they were not the sort of comments I would expect to see under a post like that.

Heeeeey-! So uhhhh...

This was evidence of me trying to be poetic-

See, I'm still pretty new to the fandom. I joined in... May 8th? I think? And I've been so obsessed with everything the fandom and it's creators had to offer so...

When you reblogged someone's post written with this sentence, it just got me excited. I wanted to learn about everything and anything about Transformers, and since you were, and I ASSUMED, you were offering, I tried to make my confirmation a bit...

Regal, per say.

So tl;dr, please use me as infodumping grounds.

Use me while I'm still gullible, naive, and pliant.

Use me while im still innocent to the woes and horrors of what may beseech me to the coming dawns.

Use me as your diary, with which you may write your utmost desires.

So use me, for I am here for you, and I will listen intently to each and every desire you share with me.

Let our journey be one of discovery, one of exploration, and one of understanding, as we embark on the most beautiful of adventures, hand in hand, with nothing but the open road before us.

Mold me like Megatron molded Tarn.

But GENTLY.

[foolishlovers]

NOVEMBER FIC RECS: Below you'll find a list of all the Good Omens fics I've read and enjoyed this November.

You can request more fic recs here.

A Good Book by Butwhymustiputaname (G, 1k)

It’s not that Crowley can’t read. He can, for a little while. It’s that he’s not quite built for it, something about the snake eyes and what not. They’re not meant for looking closely at little words in print. He squints, and it gives him a headache. He can read menus and street signs, sure, can fumble through the paperwork Hell’s bureaucracy sends him. But getting through a novel or a thick biography? It takes too long and his eyes start to swim. Aziraphale finds out.

There Were Too Many Beds by AppleSeeds (G, 2k)

After the apocalypse has been averted, Aziraphale decides he'd like to try sleeping and enlists Crowley's help with shopping for a suitable bed.

The Piano Serpent by journeytogallifrey (T, 3k)

Aziraphale owns The Flaming Sword, which is one of the premier gay bars in London. Everyone knows this… except for their pianist, Crowley. While the regulars take bets over whether he's the clueless straight person he seems, Aziraphale just tries to prevent himself from falling further. But one night Crowley plays a song written specially to honor their regulars, and Aziraphale can't hold the truth in any longer. How will Crowley react? Will the truth really set them free? --- Based on the post where Billy Joel's The Piano Man is really about a clueless straight pianist in a gay bar. Or in our case, 'straight'.

The Italicised Oh (Flower of Scotland) by tinkerty_tonk (M, 6k, WIP)

Crowley will not let Aziraphale drive 'their' car to Edinburgh and so they embark on a 'family' road trip. With Jim. And the plants. Meanwhile a still-oblivious Crowley hasn't had his big 'oh' realisation of love yet, Aziraphale thinks they are on the same page and is keen for them to take the next step, and Shax has watched too many romantic movies and has come up with a sinister plan to drive a wedge between them.

Once Upon a Time by TawnyOwl95 (E, 14k, WIP)

Anthony Crowley has made some bad life choices. Possibly none so bad as agreeing to play the pantomime villain in his hometown's production of Dick Whittington. Aziraphale East has arranged his life just as he likes it, and he's in a position to do some good. He can help an old friend out of a tight spot, and in turn, Anthony Crowley's name can put some much-needed bums on seats, maybe even save the theatre. It should be the perfect arrangement, except there are dark forces gathering over Llanfair Bay, and the past is never really behind you.

Trial & error by fellshish (E, 15k)

The Metatron brings in the demon Crowley to stand trial in Heaven. For tempting an angel. Uhhhh. Awkward.

Caramel Delight by AJ_Constantine (E, 16k)

After years of enduring hellish neighbours, Crowley is delighted when they finally move out, and even more delighted when their replacement is easy going, friendly, doesn’t leave his bins on the kerb for weeks, and… attractive in a way that causes a fluttering in Crowley’s midsection like a battalion of butterflies attempting to form ranks. Crowley knows that hooking up with the person who lives next door to him is a Bad Idea. But a jar of his Nan’s famous caramel sauce as a ‘welcome to the neighbourhood’ gesture couldn’t hurt. And what’s he supposed to do when Aziraphale continues to show up at Crowley’s door with an irresistible smile, asking for more?

Simmer (The Long-Awaited Reply to a Lingering Kiss) by LemonTart (M, 17k)

Aziraphale Fell is an accomplished food writer and book collector who leads a quiet life. Anthony Crowley owns the Grand Duke Distillery, maker of Wanton Sinner Whisky, and has a reputation for living on the wild side. As former culinary school classmates, they share a love of food and drink — and a long ago kiss that neither one has ever quite forgotten. Are they just too different to ever make it work? (I bet you can guess.) Aziraphale rises from his chair, takes a few steps towards him, then hesitates. Crowley knows a hundred different emotions must be flickering across his face, reflecting all the turmoil between his head and his heart. His heart is loud, insistent, nudging him to see the earnest hope in Aziraphale’s expression, to remember the beatific boy who lent him a pen and kissed him on a stair step, urging him to not let go of this man with ink-stained fingers and rare books who constantly surprises him. His shoulders tense as his breath hitches, his voice hoarse. “You need to tell me exactly what you want.”

Press L in the Chat (for Love) by Djapchan, Phoenix_Soar (E, 29k)

Bickering fan-content creators Aziraphale and Crowley only have three things in common — they are both avid fans of a new revolutionary TV series about pirates, they are popular for their fantastic fanfiction and fanart… and they are members of the same discord server. Neither of them likes the other, but across the chaotic virtual world of a discord chatroom, who knows what can happen when these two unlikely fans are paired up for an exciting collaboration? Us. We know ;) Discord Server AU — a collaboration between Phoenix_Soar (fic) and Djapchan (multivoice podfic organization & editing) for Pod-Together 2022

Mon Horrible Chéri by ghostrat (E, 39k)

Apparently, Crowley could ruin his good mood. Crowley was just about the only thing that could ruin it. “Right. So. You and I, is it?” Aziraphale confirmed, just to be clear. “That’s right.” “And how long is this trip, exactly?” “One full week,” Crowley enunciated too clearly, stretching his lips around the words and sharply clacking his k. “Seven whole days.” “Great,” Aziraphale breathed. They both smiled, all teeth and no joy. (Human AU / Enemies to Lovers) • English Teacher Aziraphale gets roped into the sixth form Paris field trip, not realising his worst enemy Science Teacher Crowley is the accompanying chaperone. Are seven days of forced proximity really enough to undo a truly vitriolic relationship? Or, let's be real: How quickly does it take them to fall head over heels for each other?

First Class (Hons) Christmas, University of Tadfield. by heloluv (M, 40k)

Dr. A.Z. Fell is a renowned literature tutor at the prestigious University of Tadfield. December is upon the University, and Dr. Fell is leading the Christmas Charity Drive. He needs volunteers. Dr. A.J. Crowley is a skilled plant ecologist who recently began his tenure at UoT. He can't stand Christmas, and nothing at all could ever possibly convince him to partake in "festivities". Until a certain literary expert catches his eye. A Christmas and New Years fic, in which Aziraphale teaches Crowley how to enjoy the most wonderful time of the year.

Married at First Sight by Aracloptia (T, 137k, WIP)

“Well, that was a thing,” Crowley said once they were out of earshot. Without talking about it, they were both heading down the field, towards the lake where the photographer (and likely a few more people from the TV crew) was waiting. “That was a wedding,” Aziraphale replied, surprised at his own annoyance that somebody called a wedding a ‘thing’. “Yeah, obviously, didn’t miss that part,” Crowley said with a shrug, and waved abruptly in Aziraphale’s general direction. “Neither did you, from the looks of it, since you’re dressed like a wedding bride and everything.” “Excuse me, I am a—“ Aziraphale stopped himself, and started over. In which Aziraphale ends up marrying a rude stranger who wears sunglasses.

[whoslaurapalmer]

i want to know about your fic! is that cheating? is it meant to be a surprise?

technically!!!!! it is in fact a surprise!!!! because it is secretly for a person!! I will give the following incredibly vague details --

1) i hope to get it done within the. oh I wanted to have it done by the 20th I think but it will uhhhh probably take. longer. by god, it's already the 11th. I regularly and vastly underestimate time. but I hope not much longer than that!!!! hopefully a week after at the latest??????

2) objectively it has the funniest shenanigans. but also like......I am trying to keep them in character. but also not. experience the EXTREME second hand embarrassment that can come with these shenanigans, bc second hand embarrassment physically hurts me

3) a long long time ago (2008.) the mcr website had a blog section that gerard used REGULARLY, and once posted about calling second hand embarrassment The Motts (and since it's gerard, it does and does not make sense in context.) and ever since then whenever I experience second hand embarrassment I think 'oh no gerard way I am feeling the motts' so my notes very frequently say DO YOUR BEST TO AVOID THE MOTTS.

4) lemony is there!!!!!!! beatrice and bertrand are mentioned in passing. ......other characters show up.

5) the fic spans a great deal of time. like.........a GREAT deal of time. damn.

6) I have never written this trope before but I have read a great deal of it in my time, it was very popular in the les mis fandom? which I have read TOO MUCH fic for. I always wanted to write fic for it and still have lots of wip documents, but I think my les mis fic potential days have passed me by. I still love the amis a great deal, though. anyway it's also not quite that trope, and that's very thrilling. that's where a great deal of the amusement comes in. If I can navigate it right. oh but it's also a very old trope, actually!!

6a) I mean, you see tropes in fic sometimes and think of them as very fic specific, and I think some things very much are, but also, people have been telling the same sorts of stories for an age, and i was actually able to tell my mom about the plot and have her understand it bc she's seen movies with the plot. which is very bizarre, usually this does not happen.

6b) although I do wonder now, isn't this trope like the worst way to get enjolras and grantaire together. well, I guess it depends on how you're writing them, honestly. I think the most well-known fic with this trope did it well, now that I think about it

7) I think. I am going to split it into two chapters. and........see the first half took about a weekish of planning to get the Reasons things were happening to make sense. so if push comes to shove and I only finish the first half by whatever date it was, I will post that, and then, do the second half. which is less structured but still needs. you know. things to stand on. just less things.

8) it tentatively had a title but then I thought, it would be better as a chapter title maybe, so then I figured out the other chapter title, and now I am. Missing an overall title.........

9) the titles, though, are from the songs the maze and I know how to speak by manchester orchestra.

10) potentially, a candlelit dinner may take place. there will be bread.

11) one of my notes just says 'it's the most unsexy [REDACTED] of all time'

12) someone's gonna get kissed eventually though despite my subpar skills at writing physical romance contact!!!!!!

13) I worry about it a lot, though. Just, making the fic, make sense right in general. I know what I'm aiming for but there's still a lot of uncertainty in getting there, sometimes. and it happens all the time, in everything I write!!!! every writer goes through that, in every piece. never stops being very nerve-wracking, though. And I don't think I've ever really written something like it before. so!!!!!!!! we'll see. I'm rooting for it.

[robins-den]

Hey can you please list what you call the yttd characters. Not what you think the names are but how you remember them. (It entertains me)

oh god uhhhh okay . i mm lmk if this is what you meant because i kinda devolved into saying what i think i know about them in a short amount

sarah choudin (most unfortunate haircut those fucking BANGGGGGGS)

joe tazuna (literally ,. just some guy. gives me kazuichi vibes but if people in universe actually liked him. hes like a dog maybe?? i think he escaped the killing game through a hole in the ceiling and sarah is impatiently waiting for him to come back with help but he like. broke his leg and died in a different hole so there's no help coming)

sou,,,,, sou shin? he has a hat and a scarf and a rattail? and he has that autism stare. I remember him as the ashe bradley of yttd. also you can rename him apparently

pancake girl. i remember her by the pancakes and syrup on her head. is she in girlscrush with the furry kid or are they the same kid or is furry kid dead. she's the third or second person i think of when i think yttd

furry kid. uhhhhh anzu?? shes uh. cat paws cat mask and ? has a relationship with sou shin but its really weird and bad and emotional . but shes just furry kid to me

that guy with the huge chest the blond one that the mutuals don't agree on. hes a chef?? all i remember is his huge chest tbh he could play captain america . also a sprite with his hand behind his head and he gives the viewer a Look and its like are we on a date ???? at a bar ?? whats the vibe ??

THE SCIENTIST. uhh. big tits according to footlong. also hes dating 'the floormaster'. i dont know anything about him i rememver him as 'weird scientist dude'

the floormaster. i think he works for the guy who trapped them all there and serves up drinks and food. the bandage guy? i remember him like 'oh he looks like the murder method from that episode of case closed :)' with a fedora because he's a loser

apparently there are also these doll things. the way i remember them is that whenever my beloved besties reblog or make a post and its an untagged meta analysis of the fact that all the characters are probably clones and the dolls are proof of that i scroll away super fast

uhh theres this dark skin guy. i have literally never seen him until that singular time a few weeks ago. i don't know anything about him. does he mean that the guild owner brings fresh meat in when enough people die or do they run multiple killing games and then condense them

sarah choudins dad. he looks like papa from witchs heart and sucks like he does

uhh idk anyone else or theyre so insignificant that i think they arent real.

[galaxythreads]

tagging @sunsets-on-mars hi, sorry. thought this would be easier if it was all one post. :) thanks for the ask!

^ referring to the still-not-written epilog that exists in my mind and is rotated around like something in the microwave

^ to be completely honest, I have no idea what the clue was. huh.

I listened to this story last week on ff.net's app and I was pleasantly surprised by how good it was. Big confidence boost for myself.

I am still thinking about the epilog chapter of this fic. I just. Don't do things. because I am the not-fun mentally ill. Circling in the microwave, I promise

CHAPTER 10:

based off of a very real conversation I had with my best friend where she told me that she was angry "on your behalf not at you, before you get any silly self-deprecating ideas" then later she called me a self deprecating bastard or something like that, and it made me laugh really hard because i mean. yeah. i am and she, who has been on the receiving end of lots of my panic attacks, knows that intimately.

For some reason people only describe the temperature of hands when they're cold in writing and it annoys me. No. Warm. Warm warm warm!

with retrospect, I'm still not sure how Clint would react to this, but it feels slightly off to me. I rewrote this scene a lot with different perspectives though, and this is just what I ended on.

my friend (same one from earlier) says this all the time when she has a headache. congratulations, it's now memorialized forever. She even texted me after reading this chapter and was like "uhhhh. I say this??" and I was like :) I know.

-dreams

and the reason behind this:

and

also this is just funny, but apparently in my 90,000+ word story i only used the word "malfunction" once

loki, before this fic: I'm going to put all my memories of the torture in their heads and then when I have a trial on Asgard, I'll go collect them. This way, Thanos can't do anything to them before the invasion is over :)

Hulk:

Loki:

Hulk: :)

Loki: :(

If Loki hadn't gotten The Concussion then he would have collected the memories and this story wouldn't have happened.

-

Frigga being an awful mother was something I just went ALL at this fic. Like i viewed Odin as just being emotionally immature, but Frigga and her kids have got enmeshment issues to rival the Winchesters.

-

^ THE point of the fic I was trying to make by having the Avengers become friends with Loki first and then learn about the mind control after.

-

This entire civil war side plot was based off of this fic I read forever ago and have never been able to find since where Asgard collectively went "no" and then abandoned Asgard with Loki to go to Earth. Natasha had magic and people who HAD magic were NBs. It was cool. I never finished it, but I think about it often. Like whoops, THAT is now a permanent part of my psyche.

-

this folks, is Foreshadowing

-

Steve is done with everyone's BS. Also me projecting the Steve I wish we'd gotten in Endgame, where he put his family first rather than a woman he barely knew.

-

Yknow, it was intentionally meant to be ambiguous on whether or not Thanos had a spy in the castle or if Odin lied to Frigga about Loki and just tortured him anyway even though an illusion would have worked. Mostly because I didn't decide myself.

-

hey.

yeah.

Loki didn't do CPR when Clint got struck by lightning. He transferred a considerable part of his life force to save Clint's life. Hence why he ended up mostly dead.

Note that CPR was not mentioned here. ;)

-

odin expecting THIS ^:

Tony, who is tired:

-

plot-wise, this conversation was entirely for Frigga. This his how she comes to the conclusion that she needs to do something drastic to the Avengers in order to get them to help her.

THE moment that Frigga's like. Okay. Okay then.

-

THOR WAS ABSUED TOO THOR WAS ABUSED TOO THOR WAS ABSUED T

-

one of the things that i found really interesting while working on this story is that litchenburg marks actually rarely scar. most of the time it's just like a burn that fades in a few days. kinda weird.

-

clint's favorite food are sandwiches and I will die on this hill.

-

-

this is, again, what we call Foreshadowing. Also Thanos in this story is the Deal Fairy.

-

"Clint laughs, “Okay, okay, okay. Oh! Great. A captive audience. I’ve gotta tell you about this thing. Apparently, they developed this bionic lens thing in May that can give you perfect vision regardless of what you started with, which is super cool. I was just thinking that if something like that could be developed for hearing aids…”��"

lost my right to images. :(

anyway, this is a real thing that happened in 2015 and it's cool.

-

Loki leaves soon after that to eat something and get some sleep to prepare. A few minutes after that, Natasha, with half her hair wet still soaking wet, climbs onto the hospital bed beside him and lays her head on his shoulder.

^ also this didn't happen. implanted memory from Frigga. If you're wondering when the switch happens, yeah. I don't know. You're not supposed to know either.

-

"Clint is still nineteen, waiting for his brother to beat his body into a dumpster again, his ears ringing and screaming. 

He’s always nineteen."

CONFESSION TIME OF THE CONFESSIONS:

yeah so originally Barney did show up. I have an alternate version of chapter 11 almost completely written where Clint was held captive by him, but it was just not working. I kept circling around the question of why Barney was there at all, because it just didn't make sense.

But I had neatly backed myself into a corner and had no idea what to do, so I did some frantic back tracking and replanning. You actually don't know this, but I did go back in and edit some stuff into this to make the next chapter work. I can't remember exactly why I decided to do a time loopy-thing, but that's just sort of what happened?

Proof I'm not a lying liar, and in case you're curious:

LE PLAN ALTERNATIF:

11. Clint dreams of Thanos, then is taken to their temporary base. Thor asks if Clint liked the little stint and Clint's like no, my guy, I really didn't. Clint tries to convince Thor of what going on and Thor doesn't care. The Chitauri say he has to kill him and Thor hesitates and they spare no brutality. Thor attempts to kill Clint and he can't. The Chitauri attempt similar and are deeply annoyed. They determine they have to find other ways of removing the memories. Clint's like, and, uh, why exactly do we care about that? And the Chitauri say that thanos has made powerful allies and the memories will compromise that. (sigyn plus co are working with thanos unknowing what's happening). The Chitauri force Clint to sleep with the mind stone and forcefully pull the memories from his head painfully.  Clint dreams of Loki. They talk and Loki says that they need to find them. He hands Clint a tracking device Tony made and Clint wakes up with it in his hand. 

12. Barney takes care of Clint after and comments on the scarring and Clint is like do Not ™ Barney says that he's missed him and Clint has too, but not enough to put himself through it again. The Chitauri come back and do something. Barney gives Clint a hug. The avengers arrive and they tear the compound apart. Say they had no intention of letting Asgard know what was going on. Loki removes the mind control from Thor and Thor is horrified. Loki promises everything will be okay. they arrive back at the compound and Loki, after carefully setting Thor down, shoves Mjolnir into Odin's hands. LOKI ALSO USES THE MIND STONE TO SEVER THE CONNECTION WITH THE MOTHERSHIP. 

13. Loki takes care of Thor's injuries. Then Clint's. Natasha wraps herself around him. Clint finds Loki later and Loki and Clint talk about the mind control. Clint tells Loki the sources of the scars. the Chitauri had been coming to remove the rest of his memories from the last year or so. Loki says that he's sorry. He says he thinks he did it because he was worried thanos would try to do something like this, he intended to come collect the memories or someone during the trial he never had. On Asgard the accused is allowed to collect evidence under chaperone. Thor wakes up and is confused and disoriented. Loki assures him that he's safe and Thor tries to stab himself, insisting that they can't make him do anything and he won't hurt his brother. Loki manages to get him called down. 

14. Loki wakes up screaming again. He can’t remember when he is and tries to get away from everything. The Avengers and co wake him up and they talk for a bit before settling back down around the bed to go back to sleep. Thor is still weak, but he’s managing. Frigga insists that she needs to talk with him and asks him how he is. Says that Asgard could greatly use his help in discovering who was behind his kidnapping and with the war. Thor is exhausted. There’s another shouting match that ends about as well as the first one. Loki is irritated. They talk about their parents in extreme frustration. Loki goes to check on Clint again and Clint is going through reports on Barney. Keeps watching the interrogation. Loki asks him about it and they commemorate on crappy families. Clint asks Loki if he has any idea whose behind the attacks. Loki says he doesn’t know. He’s not sure who would reach out to Thanos. The Tower is attacked. 

15. Sigyn almost kills Odin. Loki stops her and Sigyn reveals that she’s the one who was behind the whole thing. She collapses into weeping in Loki’s arms at the fact he is still alive. Loki says that it’s over now. Sigyn said that she promised that she would help Thanos because he told her what happened. Loki explains that he’s okay. Sigyn and Odin come to a tentative agreement. Sigyn says that she’ll withdraw her realm from the war now knowing that Loki is alive and well, but only if it stays that way. Odin agrees. Odin apologizes to Loki and Loki says he can stick his apology up his butt. Odin says that he has a score to settle with Thanos and he’ll send word when it’s over. Loki says peace out sucker and Odin and the Asgardians leave.

btw, just as a fun aside, anything in caps was me making a realization on why something happened, lol.

-

CHAPTER 11:

"It occurs to me," the voice is smooth, collected. A balm on wounds too infected and raw for him to do anything but whimper at anymore. His entire body locks up beneath the sound, tensing against the hard ground. "That it has been some time since we had one of our talks.""

hey, this is actually referenced earlier in the fic ;)

"The name feels familiar to Clint, like it's from some sort of distant memory. A cold, itching sensation crawls up his back. It occurs to me that it has been some time since we had one of our talks. He can't place the voice. Or the memory."

ch 9 ^

-

this entire dream sequence was actually one of the first dreams I wrote for Clint and I decided this one was just a little Too messed up to put in right away.

Plus, in my head, Loki's memories were appearing to Clint in chronological order, so this scene was actually one of the last conversations (if not THE last) conversation Thanos and Loki have. Definitely the last one before Loki was given the scepter.

-

"The world is blurring above him. Blinking in and out of focus. Bright light, dark ceiling. Empty sky, hot blinding sun, it vanishes again. His head is throbbing. He can't feel his toes. Everything is silent. A shudder of cold washing through his veins. Fingers wrapping around his arms. Being hauled somewhere. Dragged. The ground feels like sand, but when he tries to look it's concrete."

^ Clint is in wyoming. Before the illusion even starts, he can tell something is wrong.

-

Christmas - 1987 was a reference to a very specific memory, but I can't remember what it was and I'm so annoyed with myself :(

-

The Park - August 25th, 1989; - the date of the park incident, when Barney's dad got them into a car crash

Driving Lesson - July 3rd, 1996 - driving away from a crime scene with Barney when he was like 13? 12? I moved Clint and natasha's ages closer together in this fic because jeremy renner is 14 years older than Scarlet Johanson? and err. Yeah. no. some peoeple can make age gaps work and it's good and healthy, I just, yeah. didn't want to?

Proposal - January 4th, 2011 - As I mentioned earlier in part 1 of the Lore, Natasha and Clint are married in this fic.

-

"I don't know," Clint hisses between gritted teeth, looking up at him. His abdomen is pulsing underneath his fingers. He's the right kind of nauseous that throwing up would definitely help. "Kinda the whole problem here isn't it? Are you that desperate for him to kill me? Actually, for that matter, why in God's name did you not just shoot me in that hallway? Does it really matter if Thor does the deed that much—?"

"why did you not just shoot me in the hallway" was the question i couldn't figure out an answer to and had to change the entire chapter for, lol.

-

"I do wonder," the voice is behind him now, and Clint whirls, grabbing the first thing in the box—a whisky bottle with a pealing sticker what the? what type of madness encourages someone to put that in a Christmas box?

it's because Clint is literally pulling things from the memories. If he reached into Proposal, he might have actually been able to pull Natasha out of it, lol.

-

"Agent Barton," he sighs, softly, sympathetic, "you really don't seem to understand how this game works. If you had simply let me interrogate you as your brother, perhaps we wouldn't have had to resort to such drastic measures."

if you pay attention to this scene, you'll notice that the speech patterns that I use here are a lot closer to what would be said in the Loki 2021 series, not Loki from 2011-2013. Yes, this was a jab at the Loki series, but it was also kind of just how it worked out. Loki sounds off, on purpose, because this is how Frigga thinks that he talks now that he's "evil."

-

He stares at Loki's eyes, blue, but not scepter-blue. Loki has green eyes. 

Frigga's eye color is bleeding into every character she plays.

-

"Clint frantically backs into his mind, cornering himself behind walls of nothing.

And he finds himself falling.

down

down

down

And crashing."

Clint retreating into his subconcious. Frigga didn't do this, which is why she has to chase him. In the unfinished epilog, a lot of time is dedicated to dealing with Clint's trauma around all of this ^, which is why it didn't really come up before chapter 14.

-

"Your father and your mother…I think they were wrong to keep such an important fact from you. Biology dictates life." The master says. "You had the right to know yourself."

Loki stares at him, bewildered. "I…I did?"

The master tilts his head, "Why wouldn't you?"

^ Clint earlier, "you had the right to konw your own story"

anyone telling Loki that Odin was not cool to keep the Jotun thing a secret unfortunately, to Loki, immediately makes him pact bond with them, regardless of if it's good for his health.

-

After a long, weighted moment, Loki squeezes his arm, his face creasing as Clint flinches beneath the contact, "Just breathe. Everything is okay. You're safe, as is everyone else. This is real, I promise."

^ Clint and the other Avengers spent the beginning of this story assuring Loki that everything was real, Loki returning the favor. What happened to Clint is the type of disorientation that Loki faced.

-

"I'M TRYING TO FIND MY SON!" Frigga roars, an edge of wildness crossing through her features.

yknow. I did actually think that Frigga would be somewhat sympathetic in this fic, just driven to a single goal, and actually everyone hated her. that was kind of funny to me.

-

“No,” Tony agrees, “but it’s not about you either. Loki was suffering and it bothered you, so you did something that helped you feel better. Not him. Good job. Pro parenting skills there. Really selfless and everything.”

not me, projecting all my issues with my parents into this fic and wishing someone would say this to me :)

(please hug me)

-

“You look terrible,” Tony says apropos of nothing. “You kinda seem to be into the half-dead look lately.” Bruce smacks the engineer’s arm pointedly. Tony rubs at his arm, turning to him sharply, “ Ow. What?” 

The exchange is so normal that it almost hurts. Like they didn’t all die a few hours ago. 

“ Timing,” Bruce laments. 

SHERLOCK: Murder weapon and scene of the crime all at once. (He laughs with delight.) SHERLOCK: Oh, this case, Henry! Thank you. It’s been brilliant. JOHN: Sherlock ... SHERLOCK (turning to him): What? (John glares at him pointedly.) JOHN: Timing. SHERLOCK: Not good?

Sherlock s2e2

-

“It is,” Loki agrees, “But neither the Chitauri nor Thanos, the man in charge of them, have any sort of magic. I don’t know who cast the spell,” Loki admits, shaking his head, “perhaps the Chitauri roped in an unlucky third party.” 

Fooooreshadowinnnnggg

-

Gregson barely refrains from rolling his eyes. “So obviously this means that someone just got their lightning gun out of the workshop. You would not believe how many calls we got about that.”

^ Gregson and Bell appearance from Elementary, as per normal in all my fics. Lol. if i did lore specifically about every time they make a cameo, you guys will realize just how insane I am.

also this is almost an exact dialog steal from elementary s6e???

-

His voice is both relieved and thick as he says, “Let's get him home." 

this was a scene i had written in a document attached to this other fic I was going to write forever ago. I updated it and put it in this fic. It was good to finally get to use it somewhere.

-

ahhhh right, just looked at the author's note for chapter 12. yeah, in case you guys are wondering, no. Things have not improved with my parents. It's almost been a year and we've had exactly 0 (zero) conversations about me coming out since. But honestly, you guys were so supportive and it literally saved my life. I very seriously considered suicide a lot in the following weeks, but I had your support to lean on.

God, i was not functional after that conversation. I barely got out of bed for three weeks. The only thing that forced me into functioning was when someone sent me an ask on tumblr asking why mcu was so proud to be ignorant adn I wrote up 10 page essay on Michael Waldron and the state of MCU. That really helped. Thanks anon. <3

-

NOVEMBER: 

He thinks that he should remember how he got here. 

lol. Just remembered that the time skip was NOT clear and I had to go back and add the months so we could keep this straight.

-

Dr. Cho sighs, indicating for them to get closer together. “To preface this, Thor is alive and he’s stable. That’s what I want you to focus on, alright?” 

Oh good. 

So it’s good news then. 

WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY?

-

The exhaustion. This celebration is a forced, tired thing, like it’s a game they have to play.

Christmas. The Christian holiday. A long, exhaustive game of pretending.

^ this literally describes every christmas i have ever lived. I hate this holiday with my entire soul, which makes me feel like a bad christian, but honestly I turn into The Scrooge TM the moment December rolls around. Hopefully I'll get the opportunity to form less traumatizing memories around this holiday in the future.

-

Loki rolls his eyes a little, and takes a step closer, taking a seat on one of the chairs they brought in. “For your information, neither Thor or I are old enough to have met the Christian god.

things that do not make sense: Norse paganism existing in MCU and Loki and Thor's canon ages in MCU aligning together. Norse mythology started in like the 5th century AD. Loki was born in 37 AD or something like that, so like. norse mythology was based around the actions of like a 5 year old? okay marvel.  👍

-

“No, no it doesn’t. I yield, rozhden’ya, rozhden’ya! ” Clint says the word perfectly, slapping her hand away. “Don’t be mean to me. It’s Christmas.” 

“Not in Russia,” Natasha threatens, lowering her voice to something silky and dangerous.

Christmas is Jan 6th, for those of you unaware. Dec 25th is NOT the universal date for Christmas.

-

“Merry Christmas!” Tony says cheerfully, handing Thor some sort of desert. It’s some sort of small, brown little man covered in frosting.

ALSO HE IS HOLDING A GINGERBREAD MAN. my younger sister thought I was literally insane when I read this to her last year.

-

“I had a right to know,” Thor snarls, getting to his shaky feet. He grips at the bedpost for support, gesturing at himself, the words cracked. “ I had a right to know. She’s my mother, too. This is my family, too.”

^ Literally SO many of Thor's issues revolve around this, I think. Like after Thor 1, he probably feels so detached from his parents and Loki. The intense drama that they went through leaves him as a third party observer because it literally has nothing to do with him but it's so BIG.

-

from the author's note of chapter 13: I would also like to personally thank this chapter for making me dread writing it so much I was able to write not one, not two, but six chapters of my original story in an effort to avoid it (the book is like 11-12 chapters long for reference). Truly, it took one for the team.

OH YEAH OH MY GOSH I FORGOT ABOUT THAT! IT WAS IN LIKE A WEEK TOO AND WFDLKSJFLSD:FJLSDF:

HI IGNITNG FIRE I LOVE YOU! :D

-

CHAPTER 14:

“Right, but he didn’t know that. So again: I was supposed to let him walk around thinking he killed his fiancée?” Clint asks from the couch. Watching Loki pace back and forth across the length of the room is like watching a pendulum swing back and forth. Relentless. The carpet might as well be Loki’s mortal enemy for all the effort he’s putting into murdering it. 

^ this story starts and ends with Loki and Clint on a couch together.

-

“And what about my suffering?” Thor asks. “What about every day that I missed my best friend? What about the grief I felt? I am part of this family, too. And you didn’t tell me anything. I thought that you killed my brother. Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you tell me!? I have grieved my brother twice and evidently whatever ‘child suffering’ you feel only applies to Loki.” 

^ also in the not written aftermath chapter is a deeper dive into this. there was a lot of emotional strings that I felt we didn't quite recover from

-

  “You made a deal with Thanos?” Sigyn’s voice is sharper. She looks up at Odin’s face, and for the first time since she arrived here, Sigyn isn’t scowling as she does so. Odin inclines his head, still irritated, but Frigga’s head is tilted, her brows furrowed. “I made a deal with Thanos.” Sigyn says. 

shoutout to @worstloki for THE POST of the Year they made in response to this chapter. I laughed SO hard

-

“You what?” Odin snarls. “You stupid child-- what have we instilled into everyone since the Titan’s defeat? How could you be so foolish as to reach out to him?”

Odin, ever the hypocrite.

-

okay rapid fire trying to think if there was anything else I wanted to mention

still do not like chapter 1, i think I should have combined 1 and 2 together, but it took forever to get this story started so it can stay

the story was going to be named "You And I, or you Are I" in reference to the merging memories, but I literally forgot the title and was too tired to find it when i posted the fic

Clint's voice in this fic was based off of two fics I read The Unintended Consequences of Being A Superhero's Boyfriend and Fishing In Alaska and it was a lot of fun to shift to something more humerous. This fic from Loki's pov would have been exhausting, but from Clint's we get banger lines like "Fury scowls. The man gets more power out of his singular eye than most people can with both" and "Steve in concern, who's too exhausted to do anything other than make a grumpy old man sound and bury his head into his hands" which would not have been in Loki's pov. Clint is very funny.

i'm genuinely proud of myself that this fic turned out the way it did. Like it's not perfect, but it's still really good

yeah uh, do not think to hard about the Warriors in this fic because they Do Not Make Sense because their purpose in the story changed halfway through and it shows badly with retrospect lol

yes, i do want to work on the aftermath chapter, but i also don't, so all i have is like. 3 sentences and a frowny face in the document.

this story is over 400 pages, which I am proud of

i'm still happy to receive asks about this story, always!

some lore for you screamed for so long perhaps? i read all 8 (at the time) chapters of that on a 3 hour plane ride it kept me going through quite possibly the worst turbulence i have ever experienced

I'm so sorry about the turbulence. :( That sounds un-fun. Fun fact, I haven't been on a plane since i was 18 months old. I have absolutely no reference for that irl, lol. XD

ANYWAY.

LORE FOR YOU SCREAMED FOR SO LONG WE FORGOT TO CARE ANYMORE <- link to story

i have been planning some form of this story since 2018. In the original version, there was a massive plague going on. I'll probably still write that version actually. It's different enough from this one that it can stand on its own two feet.

CHAPTER ONE:

I was inspired to start the story several months after Loki got there after reading a Darcy/Loki story on ff.net I never finished

""I don't want to be buried. Cremate me." He instructs, swinging his quiver across one shoulder. "Or drop my body from the sky for the dogs to pick at, I don't really care. I'll be dead." " -- this is 1000% based off of Shane Madej from Buzzfeed Unsolved loudly declaring how he wants a sky burial

CHAPTER TWO:

"The looming figure in front of him gives a curt nod, and something smacks him in the back of the knees, and he goes tumbling into suffocation all over again," -- In the end you will always kneel.

Actually, the above torture is a slow form of suffocation. Someone ties a rope around your neck and hands that are connected together and suspends you enough that you have to stand on your toes. When your feet come out from underneath you, the rope on your hands tugs on your neck until it tightens until you either suffocate or manage to stand upright again thus relieving the pressure.

----

"He feels the surge of intense, overwhelming heat against his already raw, blistered skin before he even feels the brand press against his back, burning into muscle, bone, anything and everything, and he wont, can't—pain pain pain pain—

He screams—

^^^^ the above scene is the source of THIS scar, "Some of the worst scars are white and puckering against Loki's back and they look older than all of this" (chpt 9) and it will be discussed in further detail later. It's actually very important to the story. All of the dreams are. Nothing was put in there "just because"

---

"Hill hates all of them because the fact they're on the same floor is her fault." --- rather than having Fury in charge of the Avengers, I decided that it would probably be more realistic if Hill was. Fury is a busy man.

---

I learned some Norwegian for this fic solely so I could know on a basic level when the sentences didn't make sense, lol. XD

---

"All of them have made an effort to learn how to learn with Loki's flashbacks, but the only people who have had any real success are Thor and Steve." --- This is because Steve looks like Thor and Loki's brain is not super great at telling them apart when he's a mess.

---

"Clint forces out a thin breath, then says, "Do you want a sandwich?"

There's a long lull as if Loki's struggling to understand him. Clint repeats the question."

---

I dreamt about you getting your back burned open.

BACK INJURY IMPORTAAAAANNNCCCEEEE lol. XD all of you would be exhausted if you know how much I've been trying to subtly state this.

---

Natasha and Clint are legally married in this fic and have been for several years, but I never make that explicit because it doesn't matter to either of them so it's not important to the narrative. They are, first and foremost, partners. (Natasha proposed)

---

"Natasha is quiet for a second, then she tags on, "Ya tebya khochu."

Clint chews on his bottom lip, "Ya tozhe khochu tebya,""

This is Russian for "I want you," and then "i want you too." I think it's a little bit more meaningful than I love you.

---

Clint doesn't remember being taken to S.H.I.E.L.D. for the first time. When Coulson dragged his sorry butt there for medical after Barney tried to beat him to death, Clint was unconscious.

I have spent so much of this fic paralleling Clint's relationship with his brother with Loki and Thor's.

---

"Beside that is, predictably, an open tissue box.

Clint doesn't know what it is, but he's never been in a S.H.I.E.L.D. conference room without one. It's like the janitorial staff is worried that a group of covert spies and government officials are going to spontaneously..."

I work in janitorial. There is an ungodly effort put into making sure the tissue boxes never run out.

----

"If you're done saying I love you," Fury looks pointedly at Steve and Tony, the latter of whom smirks. Steve buries his head in his hands.

I have a lot of internalized homophobia issues despite being lesbian, but this is my first gay joke in a fic and I'm really, really proud of it. I know it's not very good or even comes across as a joke, but I felt so proud putting it in here all the same. Acceptance of self is real, y'all.

---

when i was listening to this chapter as i edited it, the speech to text reader read "asgardr" as oosgar and it was really funny to me.

---

CHAPTER FOUR:

this was the first scene I wrote for this fic.

the Chitauri do not refer to Loki by any other pronoun but "it." this is an effort to dehumanize him. (NOT to say that those who go by it pronouns are not human, love you guys (gender neutral))

---

"You are weak, like a mewling, crawling baby animal. But don't worry, because where you failed, your not-brother will succeed." --- Am I making a pointed jab at how awful Mobius calling Loki a mewling kitten was? Yes.

---

(chpt 4 vs 8)

---

This is one of my favorite interactions in the story. Loki has been lying through his teeth about his feelings most of the fic up to this point and then Clint asks him and Loki tells him the truth.

Loki and Clint have a very strong bond, even then.

---

CHAPTER FIVE:

everyone got a specific name-sign in this chapter. Loki's is grumpy-L because he's a grumpy little guy. XD No, it's cause he's grumpy but the L stands for his name

---

"Karma coming to collect its debt." -- a reference to my friend @widowronin's SPN story.

---

"c"-- by his brother

"b"-- by the circus of crime and Coulson

derogatory -- by his brother and the circus of crime

---

Waaaaay too much of my writing was inspired by Buzzfeed Unsolved now. XD

---

^^^ this is actually referring to Frigga and Odin's relationship, not the chitauri

---

CHAPTER 6:

^^ reference to Vibranium

---

the actual plan for the cafeteria scene:

"The Avengers eat breakfast or something at the facility and the SHIELD agents are generally nasty to Loki. One of them starts a fist fight and Loki defends himself until the Avengers bodily pull everybody off and are like “no.” Loki is a little banged up, but nothing serious. Clint breaks some guys nose, though. Bruce looks him over and is visibly agitated. Says that the agents shouldn’t have hurt Loki. Loki’s like, okay, sure, but I did kill like, a lot of people, so they’re entitled. Bruce is like, “:/” "

---

this was intentionally framed like the beginning of Black Widow with Yelena. Thus to indicate that Natasha now sees Loki as a brother.

---

Loki intentionally says something unrelated to the situation to calm Clint down. yes, this was a reference to Clint and the sandwich thing. It worked so well then, why not now?

---

this is an important clue that will help us later

---

^^^ Gamora and Nebula

----

^^^ Loki dreams about Clint's brother trying to kill Clint. In the next chapter, Loki's brother tries to kill Loki. These scenes were placed on top of each other on purpose. NARRATIVE PARRALEL.

Also. by the gods am i projecting hard into this fic with clint and barney lol.

---

^^^ I still cannot believe that @worstloki made this for me, and then the post sort of blew up. Last time I looked it had like 250+ notes and LOTS of tags discussing how wonderful the story was. It literally floored me. I still am baffled and deeply humbled. Thank you.

---

CHAPTER EIGHT:

this scene was originally written from Clint's pov. I have it in a junk document somewhere. This is probably going to be Loki's only POV in the fic, but we'll see. I just though it would be really good to see Loki's thoughts about all of this, given how pivotal this moment is in the story.

----

chpt 8 vs chpt 5. DIRECTLY MEANT TO PARALLEL EACH OTHER.

---

^^^ this is the above meme. In the fic. You're welcome. XD

---

Parallel to the first thor, anyone??

--

as far as thor is aware in this scene, Loki just killed their parents and his world so the fact that Loki is actually worthy of Mjolnir is absolutely BAFFLING to him.

---

CHAPTER 9:

I made the executive decision that odin and Frigga's relationship is...strained, to put it mildly.

---

most of the time Siygn is a princess of some distant realm in fics, but no! she's queen here. XD

---

reminder!! "Far" is the formal way to address your parent in Norwegian.

---

Odin doesn't swear once in this conversation.

ALSO. Loki purposefully tries to intervene before giving up quickly because Odin and Frigga fighting is a common occurrence and he knows it's useless to stop it.

---

the way this chapter is set up is that you SEE what Odin and Frigga did to Loki with the flashback to Thor watching over Loki. You are supposed to think "Uh, wait a sec"

THIS is NIce?

for reference:

"Loki is thin, more a skeleton than a person, skin dragged against bone and pulled taut in some grotesque imitation of death. There are layers upon layers of gauze over Loki's entire forearms, covering up the horrible scars and stitches keeping his arms attached to his body. Beneath that is purpling and black bruises several inches thick encircling his wrists. There are open wounds almost everywhere in various degrees of healing, bones still bent awkwardly out of place that the doctors distastefully said they'd need to reset so it could heal right. Loki isn't stable enough for them to try yet."

but yeah. It was nice.

---

Btw, the title "You screamed for so long we forgot to care anymore" is NOT a reference to the Avengers.

It's Loki's thoughts to Odin and Frigga. Years of torture, of suffering and pain, of screaming, and they seemed to grow more apathetic to it with time.

I will probably reblog this with more thoughts once the fic is finished, but yeah. I have put a LOT of effort into this fic. And I am still baffled as to how it has so many people reading it. When the number processes in my brain every couple of weeks I feel horrified, lol.

YOU SCREAMED FOR SO LONG WE FORGOT TO CARE ANYMORE <- link to story

[justabookworm39]

.

[daddyyy88]

Bad Boyfriend | Jamie Campbell Bower x y/n

if you’d like you can reblog my original work, but please don’t post it without credit. if you take inspiration from my ideas please tag me, I’d like to see how someone else would write it

Word count: 2.4k

warnings: Jamie’s a doodoo boyfriend, reader is insecure about if she’s a good girlfriend, Jamie lowk has an eating disorder? Jamie also isn’t sleeping much, uhhhh idk what else let me know

summary: Jamie hasn’t loved you the same for what feels like forever, and you’ve had enough

You sighed, leaving his little producing studio in the house you two shared with a full plate for the thousandth time in the last year or so. Jamie was stressing himself out too much, you knew it. Because of his new role in the Stranger things series he was overworking himself trying to be the best actor for this role.

It started as soon as he got the role, he was going crazy doing research and figuring out his character and then filming got shut down and it got worse. He was fully putting his everything into this character and then shooting started up again and you barely saw him anymore.

He’d literally practically spent an entire month on set once he started filming as Vecna in the suit and everything. He almost always fell asleep on the couch in his trailer or someone would have to drive him home because he was so exhausted. It was heartbreaking to see him going through that, you wished he would just give himself a break or ask the directors if there was any chance he could take a day or two off.

Whenever you’d tried visiting him on set, you spent more time with his cast mates than him because he was so busy. You felt hopeless and like your relationship wasn’t even real anymore. You genuinely can’t remember the last time he kissed you, hugged you, made love to you, or even touched you if we’re being honest.

He’d finished filming a few weeks ago, and you’d hoped that maybe he’d go back to being your boyfriend again but he still wasn’t sleeping, still wasn’t eating, still wasn’t really interacting with you and at this point you were starting to get concerned for his health. He was getting unhealthily skinny, and you could practically sense the exhaustion from a mile away.

He’d been holed up in his studio for the last couple weeks, working on music and really getting back into that groove. You’d made him breakfast, lunch and dinner everyday and you’d be lucky if he ate lunch and maybe a little bit of his dinner.

You set the plate down on the counter and tears filled your eyes, you wondered if maybe it was just you. Maybe he didn’t love you like he used to anymore and doesn’t know how to tell you. Maybe you should’ve tried harder, should’ve been a better girlfriend, should’ve tried to support him more.

You saved the leftovers like you always did, even though you’d end up throwing them away in a few days anyways. You blinked away your tears and washed dishes and cleaned up the kitchen as well. You fed your cat and headed upstairs, showering and getting ready for bed.

You made sure and said I love you and goodnight every night before bed, or you would text it and even if he didn’t reply (which he always did, but it never felt like he meant it) you at least knew you tried. Tonight though, you were done trying.

The last year and a half of your relationship has been completely one-sided, and you are just sick of fighting to keep this relationship going when he can’t be bothered to even look at you sometimes. You were too mentally drained to want to go downstairs and say goodnight to him, so you just didn’t.

It left you in tears, because you knew that there was nothing left between you two at this point. You’d love him till your last breath, but it seemed as though Jamie didn’t even care about you at all anymore. You cried yourself to sleep, staring at the promise ring on your hand, he promised, he fucking promised he’d always love you.

You got up the next morning and showered, and you couldn’t bear to look at the promise ring anymore without crying so you just took it off. That also made you want to cry, considering you’d never ever taken it off once since he gave it to you. You never had a reason to, and it was okay to be worn in the shwoer so you kept it on all the time. But the promise attached to that ring was long broken now, that ring only brought you pain now.

It was your anniversary today, your 5th anniversary of being together. On your 3rd anniversary he made you breakfast in bed and you celebrated beautifully with a little picnic and walked all around the city with each other, going to your favorite shops and just spending time with each other and made love most of that night. Last year, your 4th anniversary, he sent you breakfast, and took you on a dinner date and fell asleep in the car because he was so exhausted from filming. This year, well this year he forgot.

You went the whole day hoping he would at least come out and spend time with you. You had bought him a gift months ago, a new ring, just a simple one but with his and your initials engraved onto it.

You wanted to give it to him anyways, but wasn’t sure if you should. He probably wouldn’t even care. You kept the little box in your pocket all day, fiddling with it anxiously and thinking about you and Jamie.

“Why is your promise ring sitting on the bathroom counter?” He asked as he came downstairs, you were so zoned out you didn’t even remember him coming out of his studio at all. “I-I…I just wanted to clean my hands and I took off my jewelry. Must’ve forgotten to put it back on. I’m sorry” you said and stood up and walked towards him and tried to take it from him but he moved his hand away.

“You never take it off. I’ve seen you wash your hands before you always keep this ring on” he said and you sighed. You grabbed the ring from him and slipped it back on. “I’m sorry. It was just a fluke or something. Won’t happen again” you said and he took a deep breath.

“You also didn’t come in and say “I love you” last night. Are you upset with me?” He asked. You sighed shakily and said “no, babe. Everything’s fine” He could hear the shakiness in your voice and you knew you were about to cry and so did he.

“What’s wrong?” He asked and you looked away slightly, trying to fight the tears. You took a deep breath and said “nothing, I-I’m okay Jamie” “Y/n, you’re crying, obviously somethings wrong” he said and you sniffled.

“I just…do you even know what day it is?” You asked and he shrugged. He looked at his phone and said “Tuesday?” “No, Jamie…it’s our anniversary. And you fucking forgot. It’s not only that, it’s the fact that I don’t even know if we’re really even in a relationship anymore. For the better part of the last 2 years we’ve been growing apart more and more with every day that passes by and I can’t handle it anymore. When you got the stranger things role you dropped everything, including me, and put everything into the show. I know that acting is very demanding of you and is something you need to focus for but it’s like you don’t even care about me anymore! I tried to be supportive, I tried to understand-but I can’t! I can’t remember the last time you kissed me, or- o-or hugged me or the last time you even touched me and it’s frustrating. I cook you breakfast, lunch, and dinner every single day and you don’t even look at it. I tried to get you to rest and relax for months and you didn’t care! You don’t appreciate anything I do anymore! This promise ring is nothing now, you broke it a long time ago. I cant keep fighting for our relationship, it’s so fucking one sided, at this point we’re just goddamn roommates. I miss my boyfriend, god damn it. I thought after filming I’d get him back but you’re still fucking avoiding me, you’re still not sleeping, you’re still not eating, you’re still stressing yourself the fuck out! I tried Jamie, I tried for over a year and I can’t anymore. It’s eating me up and ruining me inside. Happy goddamn anniversary” you snapped. You got up and threw the box with the ring in it at him, running upstairs.

He stood there in shock. Warm, salty tears ran down his face. He knew he’d been focused on working, but he really didn’t realize it was this bad. He couldn’t believe he forgot your anniversary, how could he?

Of course he cared about you, he was very much still in love with you. He couldn’t believe he made you feel this way, made you think he didn’t love you anymore.

He picked up the box and opened it, seeing the ring you had made for him. Why the hell would he ever screw this up? You were so good to him, so supportive, you were the best thing that had ever happened to him.

He slowly made his way upstairs and knocked on the door, he could hear you crying softly on the other side.

“Please just leave me alone. You’ve managed just fine this entire time, now I’m asking for it” you said and he let out a shaky breath. “I’m so sorry, y/n. I just want to talk, please?” He begged and you opened the door hesitantly.

He sniffled and said “I’m sorry” “I’m sure you are, Jamie. But “I’m sorry” isn’t gonna make almost 2 years of being ignored go away. You have no idea how painful it’s been to watch you overwork yourself, and watch you wither away cause you won’t eat or sleep” you said and let out a shaky breath, moving to sit on the bed.

He still stood in the doorway, ashamed of what he’d done as he said “I-I know that…but there’s no words to excuse what I’ve done. I still love you like you wouldn’t believe, I never ever wanted to make you feel this way. I guess I just got too wrapped up in my work and it caused me to abandon the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I shouldn’t have let it happen, but it did and the only thing I can do now is try to make it up to you”

You stayed silent a few moments burying your face into your knees whilst you cried as you had curled up against the headboard. “H-How do I know it won’t happen again? I can't go through this anymore, if I do it again it’ll break me” you said and he whimpered.

He moved inside the bedroom and sat in front of you, grabbing one of your hands softly. “I’ve done something I never ever thought I would do. I never thought I would hurt you this bad, I never wanted to. If you can give me a second chance I swear on my mother I’ll never, never ever let my ignorance cause you to hurt this badly ever again. I swear, if I had thought you were in even half as much pain I would’ve dropped everything for you. I’m so goddamn sorry, y/n” he said and you closed your eyes, more tears wanting to spill.

“As much as I’d like to pretend I don’t care about making this relationship work anymore, I really fucking do…I’m just- I-I’m scared” you said and he bit his lip, he really was the shittiest fucking boyfriend on the planet right now. You took the promise ring off and said “you have one more chance. Promise me you won’t ever do this to me again. If you do it’s over, and I’ll be outta here before you can even think about convincing me to stay”

“I promise” he whispered softly and slipped the ring back on you. He kissed your hand, sniffling softly as he pressed gentle kisses to it. “Thank you…” he said and you nodded. You were still terrified to trust him again, but he seemed so genuinely upset with himself you were willing to give him one more chance.

“Now…I’m gonna go make dinner, and you’re gonna eat the shit out of it cause you’re getting really really small and it’s freaking me out” you said and he chuckled softly, nodding. He followed you downstairs and you talked some more, talked through all the issues and all the pain he had brought you and why the two of you thought he had gotten this invested in his work, enough to do this to you.

“Can I sleep in the bed tonight?” He asked and you nodded softly. He curled up next to you, both of you facing each other. “I’m sorry I ruined our anniversary and the last 2 years of your life,” he said, you both chuckled softly.

You played with the edge of the blanket as you said “it’s okay…don’t worry, we talked about it, and it’s gonna be okay” “can we celebrate tomorrow?” He asked and you nodded. He brushed your hair behind your ear and kissed your head.

“I love you so much” he whispered and you bit your lip, fighting tears again. He awed, wiping them away and apologizing. “No, no it’s okay…I love you too” you said and he chuckled softly, cupping your cheek.

He lightly spooned you whilst you both slept that night, and ordered you bagels from your favorite bagel place. He called his team while you were still sleeping and got himself lots of time off to fully be with you, and repair the damage he’s done.

It took a few months but by the time the show was released things were amazing between you two. You had never been stronger together, he’d drop everything for you in a second if he even sensed you might be having a bad day or something like that.

“Thank you…for a second chance. And for showing me I’m only human and need rest and food regularly” he said, cuddled up with you as you both watched the first 6 episodes of the season as it had just come out last night.

You smiled and said “how could I not? Can't resist that pretty face. Plus I love you way too much” “I love you more” he said and tightened his arms around your waist. He kissed your temple and sighed softly, nuzzling into your hair.

As of now I’m writing for

Eddie Munson

Joseph Quinn

Jamie Bower

Steve Harrington

Robin Buckley

Eddissy

Maya Hawke

So just comment the taglist you want to be added to and I’ll add you :)

[simsfromupthere]

uhhhh so yeah, i know ive been MIA for like 303948483938 years i was actually embarrassed to open the app at all and post about it hhhh idk why i have this voice in my brain that kept telling me people would be md at me for some completely unrealistic reason, but ive been off my adhd meds for over 2 weeks now (not by choice or per my psychiatrist, my pills ran out) cause i started having a really bad experience and so these past weeks i just been incredibly sleep deprived then jumped to hypersomnia like waking up at 5 PM and shit, i had awful dry eyes dog that shit sucksss, but anyone for the longest time i legit lost all enjoyment in doing anything i usually do down to things that take me a lot of effort beyond a hobbie like making art (these are some random scraps i made most are weeks/months apart from each other) to even things i do for simple entertainment and as a relaxing fun hobby like TS4, so i legit had no content to even post cause i didnt even feel like playing when my game finally loaded, i had headaches 24/7 with a dash of nausea, was heavily having constant thoughts about r*l*psing and ideations of that ~bad thing~, i pretty much isolated myself from everyone and everything even my family and close friends and would spend all day in my room just melting all and hating myself for possibly screwing shit up again when i had finally started feeling a little content i swear i started getting angry and frustrated that i couldnt even cry and let the agony out (just zoloft things 😂), but a couple days ago then i had 2 awful p*nic attacks 2days in a row cause i just got so frustrated with myself, my self destructiveness and the way i drag down the people i love with me in my stupid vicious cycle, soooo...yea i was not doing too fresh to be online or post at any social media tbh i feel embarrassed about posting this cause i have vented abt my personal chaos so much on this blog thats meant to be about the sims 4 and not posted ts4 content and i idk i just put dumb expectations and feel embarrassing and stupid even rn writing this; i feel a lot better i mean i still feel awful but i feel significantly okayer especially with passing the concerta withadrawl hardcore symptoms and feeling getting a good cry, i just wanted to post this for...i legit have no idea why i felt like randomly posting this at 3AM maybe the kl*n*pin mellowness or something but idk i had this weird feeling of even feeling like i look stupid and feel embarrassed i wanted to post some sort of update cause ive been (or at least it feels maybe it hasnt been that long my concept of time is fucked) off the grid on this blog for so long and just wanted to drop by with a “whoop whoop am still alive” or something sorry im rambling i probably sound weird as shit rn lmfao, anyone here some irl art cause even though im still playing ts4 ive been mostly useless on ts4 content and just playing as a hobby to pass time as of now heh

[secretsappyabode]

Howdy Tiff!!! Do you have any particular scenes in that lovely head of yours where you see you and Ford gaining each other's trust? It could be little moments or big moments i am just over here knocking on your door asking for any of it please and thank u ✨🧡

Clover @tex-treasures

HELLO CLOVER PLZ DO COME IN AND HAVE A SEAT, LET ME PREPARE U A NICE DRINK

ok ok so, it kinda happens over time. it’s sort of in the little things, like random acts of kindness and just staying loyal in certain situations, but we each have our core moment. (this gets long so hang tight woops)

i think a moment where we came to trust each other was during a monster hunt. we were dealing with a category 10 phantom and things just got too risky. we got cornered and the phantom was aiming to possess ford to get its hands on fords journal. that meant all of our hard work, all of his hard work, could be destroyed in a matter of seconds. i wasnt having it so i sacrificed myself by shielding ford and letting the phantom possess me. 

i remember everything going black and i felt my insides twist and churn. my arms, my legs, my stomach, my head, i lost all control. all i could see was my vision, but even then my mind wasnt my own. all i could hear was harsh whispers, not that i could make out the words. none of the sounds i heard were familiar, everything felt loud and scary. until i heard a voice. his voice.

a face began to shape in my vision and i tried to concentrate on it. finally, i realised the voice was singing. it was something i taught him months ago when he was anxious and couldnt sleep. i taught him many songs, but this one...he remembered it was my favourite one. i manage to grasp a little bit of control of myself and i call out to him. i notice hes crying and something in me clicks. i struggle against the phantom in my mind as it shrieks and howls. with all my strength, i manage to slam my head against the wall. the shrieking stops. its ok, ford is in the room with me. he will know what to do. i trust him. 

-----------

i dont know how long i was out for, but i woke up in my bedroom. i looked around and saw ford sitting in a chair, asleep but close to my side. i poked him and called his name, he woke with a start and upon seeing me he immediately embraced me. i cant tell what he said exactly as he babbled on about “4 weeks,” “exorcising” and “a hand witch”, but i heard apologies and self reprimands about how he “should have paid attention,” “such a foolish oversight,” “i could have lost you.” i held him close and relayed to him that sacrificing myself was my choice and that im glad hes safe. "you scared me” he said, “why would you do something so insane?!” 

a little bit pot calling the kettle black, i said. “you dont get it,” he teared up again, “i do not want to lose you, tiff. you’ve....you’re extremely important to me.” it was the first time he confessed how he felt, if only a little bit. ford then told me the fear of losing me was so strong, it made him realise that im his closest relationship in gravity falls. his only close relationship. he then told me about his college roommate fiddleford. about his family. about his brother. and i realised how...big this is for him. he trusts me. i just sat and listened to him talk. i think he appreciated that.  

its about a week until we go out monster hunting again. we keep an eye on each other and we stay close. we exchange more words of “be careful” and “stay safe” and “ill look out for you.” things are still not out in the air, i can tell, and things are still very new in multiple ways. theres still so much to say, to feel, to allow ourselves to accept from the other. but ford has his wits, and so do i. and were not gonna let anything hurt us. we trust the other to do that. 

-----------

KJDHFKJDHGKJSHGFJ SO YEAH UHHHH theres obvs more that i wanna say and maybe make more posts about, but this moment is definitely a core moment of trust for us. now if i can gush for a bit-

HHHHHHH LISTEN YALL its about the faith in another person, knowing they can be good to you, knowing that they know YOU and love you for it. the “newness” of it all comes from a history of bullies, insecurities and betrayals (from fords side.) we’re both new to this level of emotional intimacy for different reasons and we want to get it right. but its scary!! but we do want to try!! and we’re just two mutually pining idiots hghgrhgfhgrhfhg. 

god ok i do have more to say on this, but my brain is mush and ill probably have more coherent thoughts later so thats is for now! stay tuned folks ✨✨✨✨

[tsukishumai]

Date Night w/ Atsumu, Osamu, Suna

Warnings: Drinking, Smoking (weed)

A/N: repost bc I checked and my posts weren’t showing up in the tags 😭 sorry if you’ve seen it already.

Pls enjoy (ㆁᴗㆁ✿)

Atsumu

“Where are we going?” “It’s a surprise!”

Whenever Atsumu said those words, it meant one of two things: he’s put a lot of thought and effort into this and you’re about to have the best night of your life... or he’s done nothing, is winging it and kinda hoping for the best.

It’s been about a 50/50 success rate so you really don’t know why you’re gonna get.

“Tsumu, I swear to god, if this is like that one time by the beach...” “shut yer trap! We’re almost there!”

He opened the door to a small, studio like space, waving his hand and motioning for you to enter. You rolled your eyes at his theatrics but let out a tiny gasp once you were able to take in your surroundings.

Canvases perched up on easel stands lined the room, chairs set up in front with a little table next to the easel topped with paint supplies and wine glasses.

You turned to him excitedly. “Paint and wine night!?”

“Paint and wine!” Atsumu exclaimed, “Ya been complaining bout how ya miss doing art, so I thought we could do it together. I would’ve liked a private class, but they only did group sessions.”

“This is perfect,” you said, taking a seat and inspecting the supplies. Atsumu couldn’t help but puff out his chest in pride.

The room soon filled out with the other guests, the instructor coming in a few minutes after everyone’s arrived.

Atsumu chose a red wine, you chose a white. You were only supposed to be served by the glass but he insisted on a bottle each, and you weren’t the only one that has a hard time saying no to him.

“Babe,” he slurred halfway through the night, “is mine supposed to look like that?”

“Tsumu, we’re supposed to be painting an ocean... where did you get that red paint?” “I dunno, I just found it.”

The instructor tried to ignore the both of you giggling like idiots, but they had to step in when Atsumu started flinging paint at you with his brush.

“Miya-san, please stop chugging the wine.”

You chuckled at Atsumu grumbling next to you, trying to steady your hand while adding in your final details.

“Aaaand done!” Atsumu beat you to it. You take a second to glance at his canvas.

“Atsumu... what the hell is th-“ “it’s called abstract art, okay?! Ya normies wouldn’t get it!”

Where the hell did he learn ‘normies’ from?

You laughed at his canvas the entire way home, much to Atsumu’s chagrin.

Still, you hung it up on the wall by your bed, just so it could be the last thing you saw every night before you drifted off to sleep.

Osamu

“Where’d you hear about this?” Osamu asked reluctantly.

“I saw a post about in on Insta! My friends went last weekend, and they said it was amazing!” “I didn’t know you had friends?” “You know what, Samu...”

When you arrived at your destination, you couldn’t help but smile at the wide-eyed expression on your boyfriends face.

Hyogo was hosting a food festival, encouraging up and coming chefs to rent out booths and test out any and all unique recipes they could think off.

Booths on either side lined the road, crowds of people holding plates of food that Osamu didn’t even know existed.

“Which one should we try first?” You asked, but Osamu was already walking up to stand claiming to sell “Sushi Burritos”

“We have to do this strategically,” Osamu said, looking at the paper pamphlet he received from one of the information stands, “We should only get one thing from each stand so we have room for dessert. It looks like all the dessert stands are on this end, so we’ll just do one big circle.”

You nodded and gave him a salute, happy to be dragged around by the hand.

You’d never seen Osamu so animated, eyes darting from one booth to the next, ears practically steaming.

Your favorite was watching him take his first bite out of whatever creation you bought from the stall in front of you, his eyes would flutter close and the satisfied hum slipping from his mouth always brings your lips up to a smile.

“Let’s try this one next,” he said, leading you up to an onigiri stand.

The worker handed you a plate with three perfectly formed onigiri, your mouth watering at the scent wafting into your nostrils.

You took a bite... and another one... but your brows knitted together together after each chew

“Something wrong?” Osamu asked

You shook your head. “No, nothings wrong... it’s just, ever since I’ve had your onigiri, nothing else can really compare”

Osamu desperately hide the blush that was quickly spreading across his cheeks. “Oh really?”

“Yeah! You know, Samu, if you opened up an Onigiri shop, I bet it would be the best one in the country.”

Osamu laughed, slinging an arm around your shoulder as he lead you to the next destination.

“You think so?” “I KNOW so.”

Osamu shook his head. “I couldn’t pull something off like that.”

You stopped in your tracks, tugging on his hand and forcing him to face you. “Osamu, I think you could do absolutely anything you set your mind to,” your tone was serious for a second before shooting him a wide grin, “and you would do it better than anyone!”

Osamu smiled, watching you run off to the next booth, thinking that if he had you by his side, then he could probably rule the world.

Suna

Suna has never ever striked you as the “hiking” type

So when he said he wanted to take you to a spot he used to frequent in high school, you were surprised, but oddly excited.

“How’d you find this place?” “You know... exploring.”

He took you to a park that was a 20 minute train ride from his apartment. The park was situated at the base of a mountain, and further back behind a canopy of trees was the beginning of a trail that you wouldn’t see if you didn’t know it was there.

Suna walked ahead, extending his hand behind him for you to take. He laced your fingers together, trudging along the path side by side.

The trail wasn’t really much of a hike as it is a walk. The terrain was relatively flat most of the way, green leaves bordering each side of the path.

Suddenly, Suna stopped, pulling you over to the side and moving aside branches and leaves.

“Rin? What are you doing?” You asked curiously, but he just said, “Trust me.”

Past the foliage was another trail, one that looks like it wasn’t meant to exist in the first place, formed only by repeating footprints that climbed up the slope.

Suna held out his hand for you to take, looking like he had every intention of climbing up the side of this muddy hill.

“Uhhhh, Rin, I don’t think we’re supposed to -“ “I said trust me, didn’t I?”

You grumbled at him, throwing snide remarks and thanking god that you wore an old pair of sneakers today.

It took about 10 minutes of climbing until you reached the top, walking past a couple of trees to reach a clearing.

In the middle of the clearing was a tree stump, different logs of various sizes encircling the stump. You rolled your eyes, knowing exactly what it was you were looking at.

“You brought me to your old high school smoking spot?” “Hell yeah, I did.”

Suna walked ahead of you, sitting down on one of the logs and digging through the backpack he was wearing.

He stood up, and laid down a small blanket on the log, sitting back down and patting the spot next to him. You chuckled, taking a seat next to him.

“If you wanted to get high, we could have just done it at the apartment?” You said, but Suna just shrugged. “It’s nice to have a change of scenery once in a while.”

He dug out his bag, zipping it open and setting his grinder, blunt wraps, and weed on the tree stump.

You’ve always liked watching Suna prepare your blunts. He’s let you try doing it once or twice, but you could never get it to roll as tightly as he does.

You hear the telltale click of a lighter, Suna dragging the flame across the seam of the wrap before bringing one end to his lips, and lighting the other.

Once it was lit, he took a few deep drags before passing it over to you. You brought the blunt to your lips, taking in a deep breath, holding it until you felt your lungs burn, and letting out a big puff of smoke.

“Whoa there,” Suna commented, and you laughed in between fits of coughing.

“It’s been a tough week.” “Yeah? Tell me about it.”

The two of you sat there, you weren’t sure how long, exchanging stories about your week, making each other laugh with corny jokes you read online, showing each other tik toks and just enjoying each other’s company.

The blunt was finished long ago, and you notice Suna’s shoulders were much less tense, his facial features finally easing into a calm expression.

“Practice has been tough, huh?” You asked, and he let out a big sigh.

“Yeah... but it’s alright. S’long as we still get to do stuff like this, I’ll survive.”

You tilted your head as he stood up. “Where you going?”

“Let’s go, it’s getting cold and I got the munchies.”

“I am way too high to climb down that slope right now.”

And that’s how you got Suna Rintarou to give you a piggy back ride down the side of a muddy hill.

A/N: also sorry for the shittt format I’m on mobile :(

[iffeelscouldkill]

TSCOSI Week Day 3: Sana / Leadership

A/N: ssshhhhhhh yes I know it’s late but ssssshhhhh let’s just pretend I’m posting this 5/6 days ago

Here, finally, is my fic for Day 3 of TSCOSI Week, on the theme of Sana / Leadership! This takes place in an ambiguous point in Late Season 2. It does not have any bearing on the episode that was released today, which I haven’t even listened to yet, because I was busy trying to finish off this fic 😂😭 Energy and motivation have not been on my side lately. But here we are!

I had two ideas I could have gone with for this day’s prompt, and of course I chose the one I knew would lead to a longer fic, but it was worth it. This type of TSCOSI fic is my favourite to write - pure Rumor/Iris crew fluff and shenanigans. So enjoy!

---

The first clue Sana had that something was amiss was when she woke up.

Rather than waking to the vibration of her comm against her ear (yes, her comm had an alarm function and yes, she slept with it in in case of emergencies. She would not be taking questions at this time), she came to naturally, which she hadn’t done in months. Sana smiled to herself, stretching – and then froze.

She never woke up naturally, and the few times that she did wake during the night she didn’t feel this pleasantly well-rested. What time was it?

“Computer?” Sana spoke aloud to ELLA. “Current on-ship time?”

“The current on-ship time – is – nine – forty-three AM,” ELLA’s voice intoned. Sana sat bolt upright in her bed.

That wasn’t right. There was no way she’d slept through her alarm, and she had it set to recur at the same time every morning. Which meant…

“Sana Tripathi to all crew,” Sana said, opening up a comm line to all of her crewmates’ devices. “Hey, guys. Would someone mind telling me why my alarm didn’t go off this morning?”

“It didn’t go off because I deprogrammed it when I poured you into bed last night at some ungodly hour,” came the reply in Arkady’s deadpan tones, and Sana cringed slightly, regretting opening up a line to the whole crew. “Also, I’ve said this before, but sleeping with your comm in your ear? Pretty unhealthy, and that’s coming from me.”

“Thank you for that feedback, Arkady,” said Sana, with all the dry sarcasm she could muster.

“Prolonged comm usage, even when the comm is idle, has also been known to lead to hearing damage in a small percentage of cases,” put in RJ, and Sana’s eyebrows rose. “Something to do with a low level of uh, high-frequency feedback? So as a best practice, you should really take it out before bed.”

“RJ, are you lecturing me right now?” Sana asked, halfway between deeply amused and indignant.

“Uhhhh- n-no Ma’am! I mean, uh- no, Captain.”

“They’re right, you know,” Violet put in next. “I mean, it really is a small percentage of cases, but as your medic I have to advise you not to leave your comm device in for prolonged periods. Also, that sounds – uncomfortable? For sleeping?”

Sana sighed, resigning herself to being ganged up on by her entire crew. “Duly noted, Violet. Getting back to the subject at hand-”

“Wow, human ears are so fragile!” This, of course, was Krejjh. “They can really be damaged by comm feedback?”

“For a prolonged enough period-” RJ began to explain.

“We don’t all have your ‘superior alien senses’, dude,” put in Brian, laughing. Sana put a hand to her head.

“Guys-”

“I deprogrammed your alarm because you need a break, Captain,” Arkady cut in, almost gently. “Don’t think we didn’t notice that you’ve been pulling extra shifts so that the rest of us could take breaks, while not taking any yourself.”

“The human body is at its best when given time to rest and recover,” Violet added, also gently. “And you’re human too, Captain.”

Sana could feel her face flaming, but she was also extremely touched by the concern the crew were showing her – even though they’d apparently ganged up on her in the process.

“All right, I can admit that the lie-in was appreciated,” she said. “Thank you for the thought, everyone. Krejjh, I’m coming to relieve you in-”

“Oh, no need, Cap’n,” Krejjh interrupted cheerfully. “Crewman Park is taking your shift! He’s relieving me in ten minutes, and then Crewman Jeeter and I are going to play cards.”

“That’s really not necessary,” Sana said, beginning to feel slightly alarmed. “Park, I’m coming up to the cockpit in-”

“Sorry, Captain, but I think you’ve been outnumbered,” Park said, as mildly as ever. “Also, Krejjh promised me fruit jerky in exchange for taking the next shift, and I’m not about to give that up.”

Sana stared at the wall, running a hand over her face. “Park, you hate fruit jerky.”

“This is special fruit jerky,” Park replied, deadly serious. “The really good kind. Enjoy your time off.”

“There must be something I can do,” said Sana, realising she sounded slightly desperate.

“Uh, you can join me and Krejjh for a game of cards in ten minutes?” Brian suggested.

“Or you can relax, Captain,” Violet said, still in that gently amused tone. “It’s for one day. We promise you’ll be back to keeping us all in line tomorrow.”

The whole day?! Sana exclaimed internally. And okay, maybe the way that she balked at the idea of a day of enforced rest said something about the habits she’d fallen into.

She could at least give it a try. The crew had obviously put some thought into this – and it didn’t seem like they were backing down any time soon.

“Maybe I could use a breather,” she admitted aloud, and pretended not to hear someone’s sigh of relief over the comms. “But if any of you need anything…”

“We’ll let you know, Captain,” Arkady promised her, sounding not in the slightest bit sincere. Sana sighed.

“Okay. Sana Tripathi out.”

Or maybe by the afternoon her crewmates would let up, and she could go back to doing something useful.

---

Sana spent the next ten minutes or so trying and failing to relax with an audiobook, one of a handful she’d downloaded off the public net for sleepless nights. It just felt wrong to be lying on her bed doing nothing during the day. Normally she cherished her moments of downtime when she could get them (and okay, they’d been few and far between lately), but this felt… too much. Surely she should be somewhere else, maybe off discussing their next destination with Krejjh after they managed to resupply on Hathor, going over the new truck with Arkady to check it was outfitted to their needs, or maybe putting her head together with Park and RJ to get their analysis of the latest information about Regime movements.

And sure, they didn’t have any immediate jobs for Boss Violet that needed doing, and it was far enough to Hathor that planning their next destination could probably wait a day or two. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t needed. Even when Sana was off-shift, she tended to linger around the crew areas, just keeping an eye out; watching for signs of exhaustion among her crewmates, making sure they weren’t hiding injuries or strain. Injecting a cheery comment here or a calming word there, to keep people’s spirits up.

She was the Captain, and it was her job to look out for her crew. It had been a tough past few weeks, and Sana didn’t want to take this current peace for granted.

Sighing, Sana shut off the audiobook recording and went to the mess hall. Krejjh and Brian were sat at one of the tables, playing a rousing game of something that Krejjh dubbed ‘Reverse Snap’, where the object was to call out when you turned over two cards that were ‘spiritual opposites’. Unsurprisingly, Krejjh had been the one to devise the system of ‘spiritual opposites’, and was therefore given the power to decide whether a play was valid or not, a power that they abused liberally. Brian never seemed to mind; Sana suspected the enjoyment for him was in watching his fiancé get caught up in the game, and laughing at their ridiculous justifications for why they should be allowed to win each round.

Sana declined to get involved in the action herself, but it was a nice change of pace to just sit and spend time with two of her crewmates, without any other purpose beyond having fun. It was true that she didn’t get to do this often enough.

Unfortunately, the game came to a halt after Krejjh lost three consecutive rounds and poutingly declared that Brian must be cheating, even though he’d been faithfully citing their own rules each time he won a hand. “This is boring. Let’s go snuggle in our room and listen to RIFT!” they said.

Brian just smiled and gathered up the cards. “Okay,” he agreed easily. “How’re you feeling, Captain? More relaxed?”

Sana smiled wryly. “I do take downtime, you know. Despite what everyone seems to think.”

“Captain, you sleep with your comm in your ear,” Brian pointed out, mild and easy-going, but unerringly right, as always.

“I wish everyone would stop fixating on that,” Sana grumbled. Brian laughed.

“Look, this whole ‘enforced day off’ thing wasn’t my idea, but I am on board with the concept,” he said. Sana thought about asking him whose idea it had been, but she supposed it didn’t matter. “You deserve to have a break from looking after us all the time, you know? It was the least we could give you.”

Sana sat back in her chair, a little taken aback. She hadn’t been thinking about it in that way – that this was a joint effort by the crew to do something nice for her, to gift her with a day to herself. She’d been so caught up in chafing at the enforced idleness. But they’d all obviously pitched in on this, making sure that her shifts were covered and that everything was taken care of.

“Honestly, being Captain of this crew? It’s no hardship,” she told Brian – and Krejjh, who was hovering by the table – honestly. “But… thank you. It’s an incredibly sweet thought, and I do appreciate it.”

Brian smiled again. “It’s really nothing,” he told her. “See you later, Captain.”

Krejjh gave her a parting salute. “Enjoy your morning, Cap’n Tripathi!” they chirped, and then bounded after Brian.

Which left Sana with some food for thought, but still nothing to do. The mess, for now, was deserted, everyone evidently occupied with their own work or rest. Should she go back to her room, or try to find something to do around the ship? She wondered whether fixing things up and doing handiwork around the ship would be classed as ‘working’ in the eyes of the crew. Sadly, it probably would.

Resigned to giving her audiobook another try, Sana got up from the table and made her way along the corridor to her room. Passing by the medbay, she noticed that the light by the door was green, which meant that it was open, and she could movement from inside. She knocked, wondering if Violet would want a hand – or some company.

“Come in,” Violet called, and Sana pressed the button to open the door and stepped inside. Violet was inside, surrounded by rows and groups of orderly supplies - evidently doing that full inventory she’d been planning. She didn’t look surprised to see Sana.

“Can I… help with anything?” Sana asked. Violet gave her a wry smile.

“I don’t have a dictionary on me, but I’m pretty sure this wouldn’t come under the definition of “relaxation”,” she teased. Sana put her hands up.

“All right, granted. I can just keep you company for a while, then? Unless you prefer to work in silence.”

“Company is welcomed, Captain,” Violet told her. “And actually, there is something I could use a hand with.”

Sana was about to ask what it was, when she followed Violet’s gaze up to a high shelf full of supplies that she’d evidently been unable to clear. “Oh! Sure, I can help with that,” she said, trying not to seem too outwardly pleased at the opportunity to do something. Judging by Violet’s expression, she probably hadn’t succeeded. “Do you want them all down?”

“Yes, please, Captain.”

Sana got to work lifting boxes of what appeared to be empty syringes and some basic first aid supplies – bandages, gauze, cooling packs – down off the shelf and handing them to Violet, who made a noise of satisfaction when she saw what they contained. “So, how’s the overall situation with our med supplies?” Sana asked her. “Anything we need to restock?”

Violet gave her a sidelong glance, and Sana huffed. “If you want me to just turn off the part of my brain that’s concerned about the well-being of this ship, I’ve got some bad news for you.”

Violet laughed a little. “Okay, fair. We’re pretty well-off for med supplies, though I’d like it if we could get some more heptocaldrin – for injuries, not as a… stealth weapon.”

“Can’t it be both?” Sana joked. “I’ll put some feelers out with contacts who have connections with medical suppliers, see if we can get hold of some. – After today,” she added hastily at Violet’s raised eyebrow.

“Thank you,” Violet said, smiling serenely. “Are you planning to stay and watch me sort these?”

“Well, since I have so much leisure time at my disposal today,” Sana said lightly. “Can I sit here?” She gestured to the recliner that sat in the corner, the spiritual successor to the much-loved beanbag chair.

For the first few minutes, neither of them said anything much. It was quite soothing watching Violet work, although Sana itched to actually get involved and help her. She couldn’t help taking note of the condition of the medical supplies as Violet sorted them and made notes on her checklist, thinking about where they could find better-quality suppliers.

“Can I ask you something, Captain?” Violet said. Sana felt almost like she’d been caught out, though Violet’s tone was casual, almost idle; she hadn’t looked up from her work, still methodically sorting supplies.

“Of course,” Sana said.

“You’re always making sure that the six of us clock off and get enough rest. Why don’t you ever do the same for yourself?”

In hindsight, Sana should have known this question was coming. Before today, she likely would have given it a chipper, joking answer (like she did when Violet asked her, a few weeks after their flight from New Jupiter, how long she had been on shift), but now she made herself give the question some proper consideration.

“It’s different when you’re the one in charge,” she said after a little while. “If something goes wrong, if there’s an eventuality that I’ve overlooked, that’s on me. And given our current – status – the consequences of that could be much worse than me going without a break, or a couple hours of sleep.”

Violet gave her a sad smile. “But those are important things. I know it’s easy for me to say, when I don’t have to feel the weight of that responsibility – I couldn’t do what you do. But you’re at your best when you’re well-rested, too. What happens if you overlook something because you’re underslept and you haven’t had a break in days?”

“Well, that’s what I keep you all well-rested for,” Sana said lightly.

“Captain,” Violet said reprovingly.

“Violet,” Sana replied in the same tone. Jokingly, she said, “Are you going to start singing at me to take a break next?”

Violet blinked confusedly at her before the light of understanding dawned in her eyes. “Was that a ‘Hamilton’ reference?”

“You spend enough time with Arkady, you find yourself making opera and musical theatre references without even knowing it,” Sana replied. “You’ll need to watch out for that.”

“I’ll be on my guard,” Violet said. And then, more seriously, “But if it turned out to be a reliable method, then yes, I would sing at you.”

Sana couldn’t help laughing. “Well, luckily, there’s no need. Here I am, taking a break.”

“Uh huh,” was all Violet said, giving her an appropriately sceptical look.

“I am!”

“And if I asked you for your opinion on the overall quality of our med supplies, I’m sure you wouldn’t have any thoughts at all,” Violet said pointedly.

“Well, you can ask,” Sana replied. “But I’d have to tell you that the Captain will get back to you about that tomorrow, when she’s back on the clock.”

“Oh, good to know.”

 ---

Spending time with Violet in the medbay took up another hour, but before long Sana found herself back in her room and at a loose end again. And okay, maybe she was going about this wrong; she shouldn’t just be looking for ways to kill time all day. Plus, spending time with the crew was nice, but they were all busy with their own jobs, so that didn’t really equate to relaxation. There had to be something she could do by herself – other than listening to that audiobook.

On the Rumor, Sana had spent a lot of her downtime in her room working on sewing or embroidery projects. But lately, she hadn’t really had a project that she could – wait.

Sana sat up straighter on her bed, thinking. When they’d been putting together the ‘shopping list’ of supplies for Hypatia, she’d joked about adding a hammock to the list. She hadn’t seriously gone looking for one, but when she’d been checking out some of the hardware stores near where they made landing, looking for parts for the engine and the ship’s various systems, she’d discovered that they also sold swathes of fabric, rope, and – crucially – wooden poles.

Sana got up and went to the little closet built into the wall of her room. At the back, right where she’d left it, was a bundle of poles and rope with brightly-coloured fabric wrapped around it. Sana pulled out the bundle, breaking into a grin. She hadn’t really expected to find enough time to work on this when she’d bought the materials, though she’d vaguely intended to do a bit here and there. But now was the perfect time to try and put it together.

Sana unrolled the bundle on her floor and got to work.

---

“Incoming call from… Ignatius Campbell. Incoming call from… Ignatius Campbell. Incoming…”

Sana was in the middle of sewing the wooden poles into either end of her hammock fabric when the call came through to her comm link. “Computer, accept call. Campbell, hi!”

“Captain Tripathi!” Campbell’s voice boomed cheerily. “Is this a bad time?”

“It’s a pretty good time, actually,” Sana said as she worked the needle in and out of the fabric. “I’ve got the day off today, so I’m just doing some sewing in my room.”

There was a fractional pause on Campbell’s end. “The day off, huh?” he said. “How’s that going? Not too bored, I hope?”

Sana smiled to herself as she tied a knot in the sewing thread to secure it and then bit off the thread. She had scissors, but they were buried somewhere in the heap of fabric and she couldn’t be bothered to root around for them. “It was a bit slow to start off with, but I’m getting into it now.”

“Gotta say, I can’t believe they actually managed to persuade you to take a whole day out of your schedule to relax,” Campbell said. “The last time I called, you hadn’t slept in – was it thirty-six hours?”

“Thirty-two,” Sana said quietly, to herself.

“-And you were on your sixth cup of coffee – do you even remember that call?”

Sana sighed, part amusement and part resignation. “Yes, I do remember. Sorry for-”

“No, no, it’s fine, I was just – well, it was a bit worrying,” Campbell said. “Anyway, glad you’re taking a break. You sound… better.”

Who knew that everyone had apparently been so concerned for her wellbeing? Sana thought. Then her hand stilled in the middle of threading her needle. Maybe she should have realised how concerning it was to everyone. But she hadn’t thought – well, she guessed she hadn’t noticed that everyone was looking out for her just as much as she’d been trying to look out for them.

She cleared her throat a little. “Well, what can I do for you, Campbell?”

“Oh, nothing in particular,” Campbell replied. “Just wanted to call to catch up, really. Trade some gossip, funny stories about the crew… It’s been a while since you were able to stop by.”

Sana smiled ruefully, and then a thought occurred to her. “So, you just so happened to call to catch up on the one day when I don’t have anything going on? That’s good timing.”

“Uh—” Campbell’s cornered response was immediately telling. “I might’ve heard that – today would be a good time to call—”

Sana huffed in amusement again, rolling the fabric over the pole at the other end of her hammock and lining up the ends of the material. “Be honest, Campbell. Did the crew ask you to check up on me?”

“I called the ship’s comms last night, and Arkady picked up,” Campbell admitted. “I really was calling just to see how you all were, and well, she filled me in on how things had been lately. How they were all planning to cover your shifts and chores today to give you a break. She said that you might be at a loose end, so I offered to call you back around this time. I would’ve called earlier, but Eloise asked me to watch the boys in the morning.”

“How are they?” Sana asked, smiling.

“Oh, as full of energy as ever, I can barely keep up with them,” Campbell said, a smile in his own voice. “Look, I’m sorry if I overstepped-”

“No, it’s – fine, Campbell. Really,” Sana assured him. “I’m touched at how everyone’s been…” She searched for the right phrasing. “I’m touched at how much thought went into this. It really means a lot.”

“What you do means a lot,” Campbell responded, sincere. “To the whole crew. And to… me.”

Sana’s face warmed, and she realised she’d been sitting there, holding the fabric together without doing anything for the past several minutes. She picked up her needle and began on the same neat row of stitches that she’d made at the opposite end. “Thank you, Campbell.”

“It’s nothing, really,” Campbell replied gruffly, and then cleared his throat. “So – any good stories to share?”

“I’ll make you a trade,” Sana offered. “One story about the crew, for every story about your nephews.”

“Oof. You drive a hard bargain, Captain Tripathi, but I accept.”

Sana laughed. “Okay. Well. You might remember how Arkady has an unfortunate habit of leaving some of her weapons holsters in odd places around the ship…”

---

A few hours later, the new hammock – strung up in a corner of the mess where Sana had mounted some sturdy hooks on two adjacent walls – was almost ready. All it needed was a test subject; Sana could of course get in and test it herself, but it would be ideal if she could observe someone else getting into the hammock, so that she could judge how things looked from the outside.

Oddly, the mess hall was deserted, and had been for the past while, which was strange; she would have expected to find at least one or two members of the crew spending time in here. Just then, she spotted RJ, who had entered on the far side of the room and frozen.

“RJ!” she said happily. “You’re the perfect person to test out my new hammock.”

“Uh-” RJ looked around, as if hoping to be rescued by someone, before reluctantly walking over. “You’ve been making a… hammock?”

Sana gestured towards her creation with a flourish. “What do you think?”

RJ’s eyes narrowed as they inspected her handiwork, pulling lightly on the ropes that suspended the hammock. “Is it structurally sound?” they asked doubtfully.

“Why don’t you get in and test it for yourself?” Sana invited them. “Don’t worry about the hooks – they’re the same kind that you find on industrial pulleys. They’ll hold.”

RJ’s eyes flicked towards the doorway. “I’m not really sure if I should be-”

“Oh c’mon, you can take three minutes out of your shift, can’t you?” Sana cajoled them. “Just blame it on me waylaying you.”

RJ laughed a little. “Well – I guess if it’ll only take a minute…” Gingerly, they hoisted themself up onto the hammock, legs dangling over the side, before swivelling round and reclining more fully in the hammock. “Wow, this is actually – really comfortable.”

“Isn’t it? Hammocks are the best,” Sana enthused. “Is the amount of rocking okay?”

“Yeah, it seems fine. It’s not making me seasick, at least,” RJ joked. “You’ve done a pretty good job with the placement of-”

“RJ, there you are,” Park’s voice came from the other side of the mess. “Did you- oh, hi, Captain.”

“Hey, Park,” Sana said easily as Park approached, eyeing the hammock with curiosity. In the hammock, RJ sat back up, a guilty expression on their face. “RJ was being good enough to help me test out this hammock I’ve been making.”

“So I can see,” Park said, neutrally. “Seems like a good use of your time off.”

Sana raised an eyebrow at him, unsure whether the comment was sincere or impeccable sarcasm, but deciding to interpret it as sincere. “Thank you,” she said. “Want to test it out? It would be good to get data from someone taller.”

“I’d love to help, but I really need to borrow RJ,” Park said apologetically. “Sorry, Captain. Maybe after dinner?”

“Of course,” Sana said, as RJ quickly got out of the hammock. She watched Park take their arm and almost steer them away, the two of them conversing in hushed whispers once they were far enough away that they evidently thought she wouldn’t overhear.

Something odd was going on. Sana glanced at the hammock, and then back at the doorway that Park and RJ had just left through. Maybe she should leave it alone – after all, she was off the clock, and she didn’t have to know about everything that was going on on the ship.

Even though Park and RJ were behaving really strangely.

After a few seconds, Sana’s curiosity got the better of her, and she quietly followed.

“Well, I can’t go back through now,” RJ was saying to Park in slightly annoyed tones, as they walked down the corridor. “The Captain will definitely know something’s up. Anyway, I don’t remember seeing a screwdriver in the kitchen.”

A screwdriver? Sana thought, baffled.

“Well, Arkady says there are none in the engine room, and there’s not many other places on the ship left to check,” Park said tiredly. “So, if you’d like to tell her that you weren’t able to look in the kitchen…”

RJ made a reluctant noise. “Fine, what if we-”

Sana, from her vantage point around the corner, saw the two pause in front of the door that led to the medbay. Park raised his hand and knocked on the door in a specific pattern – one long, and three short knocks. After a second, the same knock came back and the door opened.

“Bad news,” Park said as the two entered the medbay. “Sana was in the mess, so RJ wasn’t able to check the kitchen properly.”

Sana moved around the corner until the open door of the medbay was in view, where a baffling sight (and this was coming from someone who’d seen a lot of weird things in her time) greeted her. The medbay observation table had been dragged into the middle of the room, and an array of screwdrivers, knives, and for some reason, spoons cluttered the tabletop. Arkady, looking irritated, was standing on top of the table with a knife in her hand, trying to pry at the cover that enclosed the medbay’s ceiling lamp. Violet, Brian and Krejjh were grouped around the table, looking up at what Arkady was doing; Violet was holding a penknife and shining a small torch in Arkady’s direction, while Krejjh was holding a small hammer, a steel rule and a lightbulb. Brian just looked entertained.

“I think we should check the engine room again,” RJ said. Arkady rolled her eyes.

“I told you, McCabe, I – Captain!”

Instantly, every crew member in the room (except Park, who simply looked resigned) whipped guiltily around, trying in vain to hide what they were doing. Krejjh dropped the steel rule.

“Cap’n Tripathi!” they said cheerily. “You are just in time for our – uh – table performance art routine! We’ve been practicing specially for you!”

“Really?” Sana asked, amused. “Because it looks to me like you were all trying to change a lightbulb. Badly.”

“As it so happens, Act One of our performance-”

“Krejjh, give it a rest,” Arkady said, as Brian laughed behind his hand. “Captain, we’re fine, honestly. We found the replacement bulb, we just need to figure out how to get this damn cover off.”

“And how long have you spent trying to pry it off, so far?” Sana asked.

“It’s been about an hour and a half,” Violet admitted. Arkady’s shoulders slumped.

“I’m almost there, but I think I need a different screwdriver to-”

She stopped as Sana walked over to the table, and held out a hand for Arkady to pull her up. Climbing onto the table, with the help of a steadying hand from Park, Sana took a magnet out of her pocket (she had a lot of things in her pockets) and held it near the rim of the ceiling lamp cover. A tiny screw flew out and clung onto the magnet. Sana held the magnet to the other side of the cover, attracting another screw, and then another, and another. Finally, she twisted the cover, and it popped off the ceiling.

“Lightbulb,” she said.

Krejjh handed her up the lightbulb, and Sana switched the working bulb out for the dead one, before easily replacing the cover and pushing the screws back into place. She dusted her hands and looked around at the crew.

“Well, that was fun. What’s Act Two?”

Violet smiled, and RJ looked impressed, while Brian shook his head. “I told you we should have just asked her.”

Sana looked back at Arkady, who was glowering at the knife she’d been holding like it had personally offended her.

“You could have asked me,” she agreed. “But I get that you were trying not to disturb me after you worked so hard to give me some time off. And, honestly, it’s been one of the best days I can remember for a while. So – thank you all. So much. I know that being the Captain doesn’t make me invincible. Or infallible. And as much as I want to look out for all of you, I need to remember to apply the same thought process to myself as well.” She caught Violet’s eye, and winked.

“In hindsight, it probably shouldn’t have taken a day of forced rest for me to see that, but I’m grateful that you were all willing to go to the trouble of arranging it so that I could. Even to the point of changing lightbulbs.” She smiled.

“And while you’ve all been working hard, I’ve rigged up a pretty awesome hammock in the mess hall, so it would frankly be a crime not to hold a movie night after dinner.”

Krejjh whooped, and Brian and RJ immediately struck up a fierce debate about whether they should watch a historical fantasy drama or a sci-fi epic. Park tiredly followed them out of the room, presumably to act as adult supervision.

“I’d better go make sure that they don’t forget about dinner,” Violet said, and went after them.

Arkady climbed down so that she was sitting on the edge of the table, and after making a space in the collection of cutlery and engineering tools, Sana joined her. For a few moments, neither of them said anything.

“I meant what I said just now,” Sana said, eventually. “I had a really good day, and… it meant a lot that everyone would go to the trouble of doing something like that for me. And of thinking it up and arranging it.”

“Violet did a lot of it,” Arkady said, a little too quickly. “And Park, especially with covering your shifts. And the comm thing was Krejjh’s idea.”

“Really?” asked Sana, amused. “And what about intercepting the call from Campbell that came in last night, making sure it didn’t disturb me, and then arranging for him to call back when you knew I might be going a bit stir-crazy?”

Arkady huffed. “He told you.”

“Of course he did,” Sana said. “Look, I’m sure it was a group effort, but… I couldn’t help thinking that the idea had to have come from someone who knew me pretty well. And maybe someone who’s been more worried about me lately than they wanted to admit.”

Arkady looked away, her shoulders raised in a defensive half-shrug. “I know you’re the Captain. I know you’ve got to look out for us, and – it’s not like I can really talk when it comes to putting in too many hours when I work on something. I don’t think there’s anyone in the crew who hasn’t done that at some point. But you’re always there to kick our asses into taking a break, and-”

“And someone needed to do that for me?” Sana finished for her, wryly.

Arkady looked back at her and snorted. “Pretty much. Thirty-two hours, Sana. With six cups of coffee.”

Sana winced. “In hindsight, that was probably the first red flag.”

“The first?”

“Okay, okay,” Sana said, laughing a little and holding up her hands. “You have my word that I will not let things get to that point again. And if they do, you have my full permission to-”

“-Kick your ass?”

“I was going to say, ‘put me in time-out in my own hammock’, but either works.”

“Speaking of which,” said Arkady, giving Sana a significant look. “Do I need to ask which part of the ship lost its emergency harnesses?”

Sana laughed. “This one is made from actual wood and fabric and rope. Turns out, I had a lot of time on my hands this afternoon…”

“And you used it to build another hammock.”

“It was that, or listen to a really dull audiobook,” Sana said. “I call it an investment in future relaxation! And future movie nights. Good for the whole crew.”

One half of Arkady’s mouth ticked up, and she looked almost wistful. “We haven’t had a movie night since we were on the Rumor.”

“I want to reinstate the tradition,” Sana said. “I think we could all use a bit of a breather every now and again. Today reminded me of that. So – thank you, Kady.”

She was purposely laying it on thick, because winding up your best friend with excessive sentiments that you meant every word of really never got old. She was rewarded when Arkady quickly jumped down from the table. “I think we’ve already done the Feelings Corner for this evening, so if you need me, I’ll just be in the kitchen, helping with dinner.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to hear the latest motivational speech I’ve been working on?” Sana teased her. “I’ve had a lot of time to think about it today. It’s a good one.”

“You know what, I’ve changed my mind,” Arkady said. “You’re not allowed to have days off any more.”

---

A/N: This idea came about as a bit of an inversion of the ‘leadership’ prompt - what if Sana couldn’t be in charge for the day? What would it look like if the crew decided she needed to take some time off? I was really taken with the concept (apparently I just have a thing for members of the crew gently but insistently taking care of Sana), and then I came up with the idea that something goes wrong that Sana would normally be able to fix, and the crew is desperately trying to keep it from Sana while she’s “off-duty”. This image popped into my head of like, the entire crew trying and failing to change a lightbulb, and it was so absurdly perfect that I had to write it xD

It also wound up being a spiritual continuation of the theme we’ve had so far in Season 2 of “Sana is bad at clocking off” - hopefully nothing in Episode 3 has come along and contradicted that xD (Guess I’ll find out!)

[thedreadvampy]

What happened over there in Britain did y’all get shut down again or something else? Also love the new header it make me choke on my own spit and almost die but it was worth it

Uhhhh so for about a month or so the line has been "we're mostly locked down now so that people can travel over Christmas. You Will Be Allowed To Travel To Visit Family Over The 5 Days Surrounding Christmas"

(which is bullshit obvs bc lockdown to "save Christmas" meant we were in lockdown for the whole of Hannukah and when it was Eid there was like an entire campaign of the media and politicians going IT'S MUSLIMS FAULT THERE'S BEEN A SPIKE but w/e)

yesterday 3 days before the travel restrictions were meant to be lifted, with in some parts of the country like a day's notice? both the UK and Scottish government announced that no, actually, the virus has mutated and we're going into full lockdown over Christmas, most major cities will have full stay-at-home orders in place from the 26th, you can travel ON Christmas Day to see your family but outside that there's a travel ban, and the border between Scotland and England is closed (there isn't like the infrastructure for checkpoints at the border and the police have said today that they won't be doing road blocks but.)

and the thing is in itself that's fine? That's good actually! I don't think the UK's been taking the virus nearly seriously enough and that's why our rates keep climbing

B U T

under these specific circumstances, where for months the whole country has been told to Hang Tight Christmas Will Be A Moment of Reprieve AND to make this announcement 5 days before Christmas, after it's too late to post things, after people have set their plans in stone and when a decent number of people had already traveled to be with their families and are now facing being trapped in the wrong city, it's a fucking mess. Train stations have been packed with people trying to catch the last few services home before they're cancelled; there's great wailing and gnashing of teeth; it's all kind of a mess.

and the thing is this was always going to happen, they were absolutely overpromising to say 'we can all take Christmas off from the virus' and there's been plenty of criticism of the governments about that for weeks (as well as the THEY'RE TRYING TO CANCEL CHRISTMAS bollocks from the Idiot Brigade) and like. If they'd had the courage to say a month ago 'you probably won't be able to see your family at Christmas, plan accordingly' then this would not be a crisis, I would be fine with it. but to not just Not Lighten Lockdown after weeks of promising specific clear dates and restrictions, but to INCREASE lockdown over that period when it's too late to make alternate plans? That's a mess and it's absolutely reflective of the chaotic unclear and inconsistent way the UK has handled the pandemic response.

like. if I'd known for starters I wouldn't have sent all my presents directly to my mum's house in England, for a start.

so for my part none of my family live within a hundred miles of me and I don't drive and certainly wasn't going to take public transport. so I'd initially resigned myself to spending Christmas just me and Sam. but we'd managed to work out a thing where, while travel was more open, my sibling was going to drive through Edinburgh ANYWAY on their way to mum's so they were gonna pick me and Sam up and take us down. and that's been the bright spot on the horizon for weeks - spending a few days in the country in a nice house with people who aren't me or my housemate. all of us have been largely self-isolated for weeks or months we've all been careful it was gonna be weird to go through Christmas without Morgan but. and both mum and my sibling live alone so they really needed this.

so I was absolutely crushed by the news because. again. if I'd known a few weeks ago that I couldn't travel it would be Sad But Fine. but to have the rug pulled out from me literally while I was packing to leave was really distressing.

[gamergirl929]

Take A Picture It Will Last Longer (I Just Might) (Emily Sonnett x Reader)

Anonymous Request: Okay hear me out... A sonnett imagine where the reader is a new worker for the photography company and the r keeps getting distracted while watching sonnett play but sonnett also get distracted by the r and after a while of CONSTANT flirting one of them makes a move plz and thank u ur amazing

“SONNETT!” Kelley yells, just as a ball smacks into the side of the blonde’s head, her hazel orbs wide as she glances around.  

“Wha...?” She glances around, turning to Kelley who’d just ran up to her.  

“Where’s your head at?” She asks and Emily clears her throat, her eyes darting to where you’re kneeling down on the ground, holding a camera.  

Kelley follows her gaze with a toothy grin.  

“AHHH! I see.” She winks and Sonnett rolls her eyes, giving her a shove.  

Off field, you’re watching the pair with a smile, your cheeks flushed.  

Emily Sonnett had, had her eyes on you for the entire practice, hazel orbs darting your way each and every opportunity they could.  

Honestly, you couldn’t keep your gaze off of her either, it was your first day taking pictures of the USWNT and it was going to be a regular gig, you traveling alongside them to take photos, the photos you yourself had always seen scattered online.  

You glance down at your camera’s screen, giggling when you realize you’d caught the moment the black and white ball had hit the side of Emily’s head on camera.  

Your laughter draws the attention of those nearby, as well as a few players on the field and you cover your mouth in an attempt to stifle your laughter.  

On field, Emily is grinning, cheeks red.  

“Awwwwwww.” Kelley pokes her in the cheek and she swats her hand away with a pout.  

“What’s going on here?” Alex walks up with a grin, and Kelley turns to her.  

“Sonnett’s got a crush on the new camera girl.” She bites her tongue between her teeth and Emily rolls her eyes.  

“I do not.” She grumbles as she stomps away, but as she glances out of the corner of her eye and sees you looking her way, she can’t help but blush.  

                                                           ***

It’s time for your first USWNT game, and you couldn’t be more excited.

The fans cheering as the anthems sound on field, you snapping pictures of the team, some singing along, while others, Megan Rapinoe in particular stands for what she believes in.  

You were absolutely giddy when the teams took the field and the game had begun, taking shot after shot of each and every player, catching a few that you knew would catch the public’s eye for sure.  

You turn towards the bench, still staring through your lens when you see a familiar pair of hazel orbs on you.  

Your eyes widen as you glance over the top of your camera, Emily Sonnett still staring your way, eyes wide when she realizes she’s been caught.  

You surprise her by giving her a thumbs up and the woman grins, nudging her teammates beside her, Mal Pugh and Lindsey Horan, the three posing for a photo.  

You take a few snapshots before turning back to the field, sending Emily a wink before you go back to taking pictures, unaware that the blonde’s eyes are still on you, her friends teasing her about her obvious crush on the new photographer.  

                                                           ***

You circle the team in their huddle, the game well over as Vlatko talks with his team.  

You snap a number of memorable shots, and hope they’ll be enough to impress as you move down field, completely unaware that you’re about to slam right in to the woman who’d been plaguing your mind the entire day.  

“Shit.” You mumble under your breath as you run straight into the woman who’d stopped in front of you.  

“I’m so sorr-

You go silent, smiling when you realize the woman standing in front of you is the one and only Emily Sonnett.  

“Uhhh, hi.” Emily shuffles nervously from foot to foot and you grin.  

“Hi.” You bite your bottom lip, your cheeks flushed.  

The two of you stand still, eyeing one another intently before you both nod.  

“Well bye.” You both at the same time, turning and rushing off in opposite directions, Sonnett’s team watching on with wide eyes and confused expressions.  

Lindsey snorts.  

“Ummm, what the hell was that?”  

Ashlyn walks up, her hand in Ali’s.  

“Gay panic?” The blonde asks and Ali nods.  

“Gay panic.”  

“Where’s the gay panic?” Megan asks when she walks up at the couple nods to where Sonnett is running, completely in the opposite direction of the locker room.  

Megan nods.  

“Looks like gay panic to me.”  

Kelley snorts.  

“Better get her before she wanders off and we have to put out an Amber Alert.” Kelley shakes her head cupping her hands around her mouth.

“SONNETT! OUR LOCKER ROOM IS THE OTHER WAY!”

The blonde stops before glancing around, cheeks blood red.  

“I KNEW THAT!”  

                                                           ***

Needless to say, your encounter with Emily a week ago didn’t go exactly as you had planned your first meeting with her would go, so sadly, there was no turning back but you planned on making your second encounter with her a bit better than the first.  

“Uhh, hi.” You whisper, Emily glancing around, still spraying her water into her mouth. When she realizes it’s you she completely forgets about the water, spraying it all over the front of her tank top.  

“Jesus Christ Sonnett.” Kelley whispers to herself, but when you start to laugh, she smiles.  

Emily shakes her head running a palm down her wet shirt.  

“It’s not funny.” She pouts and you shrug.  

“Pretty funny from where I’m standing.”  

Emily crosses her arms across her chest with a pout and you grin.  

“I’m Y/N, sorry I didn’t really uhhh, introduce myself the other day.” You shrug, fidgeting nervously.  

You smile, holding your hand out and Emily grins, dropping her water on the ground in favor of taking your hand in hers.  

“Emily, and yeah I didn’t really introduce myself yesterday either, I was uhhh... Late for a meeting.” She shrugs, taking a step towards you.  

Unfortunately for her, she steps on the water she dropped moments before spraying the bottle’s contents all over the place.  

“Oh my god.” Ashlyn snorts, face palming on field along with the rest of her teammates gathered there.  

“What are we going to do with her?” Mal whispers, but before anyone can answer you start to laugh, a laugh that Emily can’t help but return.  

Tobin grins, crossing her arms across her chest.  

“Nothing, seems like she likes Sonnett just how she is.”  

                                                           ***

It’s in the next game against England when you find you can’t keep your eyes off the defender, who is tearing up the field, letting fans of the USWNT see the side known as Saucy Sonnett.  

You just so happen to get a few pictures of Emily Saucy Sonnett in all her glory, a particular picture of Sonnett sitting on the turf and glaring at a ref, bottom lip protruding has you laughing so hard tears are streaming down your cheeks.  

By the time halftime rolls around you realize that a wide array of your photos are only of Emily Sonnett and your eyes widen, cheeks blood red.  

You clear your throat quick to hide your camera, from whomever may be walking past.  

“Whatcha hiding there?” You hear a voice behind you and you nearly jump out of your skin, flipping around to find the one and only Saucy Sonnett standing in front of you.  

“Uhhhh, nothing at all.” You shrug innocently, and Emily’s eyes narrow.  

“I don’t know you’re displaying suspicious behavior.”  

You let out a hum, shrugging.  

“Guess you’ll just have to see when the pictures come out.” You wink and Sonnett’s eyes widen.  

A sudden arm slips around Sonnett’s neck and she’s pulled away in a headlock by Tobin Heath who sends you a grin as she drags the blonde into the tunnel, the woman attempting to wiggle out of her hold the entire way, but to no avail.  

You glance down at your camera with a smirk, biting your bottom lip, contemplating if you should post the picture or not.  

                                                           ***

“OH MY GOD.” Kelley wheezes a few days later as she shoves her phone under Emily’s nose, showing her the photo, you’d taken of her glaring at the ref grumpily.  

Emily’s cheeks flush bright red, her eyes wide.  

“Ohhhh, and look your girlfriend posted it.” Lindsey teases and Emily grumbles.  

“She isn’t my girlfriend.”  

It’s just then you come into view, kneeling down to snap some pictures of the players on the field for practice.

Sonnett jumps to her feet and marches over to you, unbeknownst to you considering your face is hidden behind your camera, but when you do spot her, you grin.  

“Hey.” You grin and Emily huffs, you snicker.  

“I guess you saw my picture.” You wink and the defender pouts.  

“Oh, come on.” You nudge her playfully. “It was cute.”  

Your eyes widen, Sonnett’s following close behind as the two of you glance away from one another, your cheeks flushed pink.  

“What I mean to say is...” You glance away biting your lip, a foreign courage stirring in you before you turn back to the blonde with a smirk.  

“No that’s what I meant to say.” You wink and Emily’s eyes double in size, cheeks flushing a darker shade of red.  

“Sonnett!” Someone calls out and the blonde blinks rapidly, clearing her throat before she glances over her shoulder.  

“Ye-Yeah, that.” She points before turning around and rushing off, back towards her teammates.  

You watch her go with a giggle, grinning when the woman glances over her shoulder to look at you one last time, stumbling over her own feet as she does so.

You shake your head watching as she moves to talk to one of her coaches, her hazel orbs darting your way every few seconds.  

You glance down at your camera, smiling softly as you focus your lens on the blonde, taking a picture of the two of them, though to be honest, you may or may not zoom in to only get Emily into the picture.  

The sunlight hits her just right, her hazel orbs shining almost as bright as her smile when you snap the photo and you glance down at it.  

You swallow hard, cheeks flushing dark red.

This was one photo you’d be sure to save and though you weren’t about to admit it just yet, it wasn’t just because the photo was beautiful, but the woman in the photograph as well.  

                                                           ***

You were mortified, of course they would want the picture of Emily Sonnett you took released, the photo of the blonde’s shining hazel orbs and dazzling smile on full display.  

A minute part of you was hoping that Emily hadn’t seen the photo, but when you saw her Instagram you knew she saw it, considering she was gushing about it and about the photographer who took it, AKA, you. She even went as far as to make it her Instagram's profile picture, displaying your photo to the entire world, a photo you weren’t sure you were ever going to share in the first place.  

“Well if it isn’t my favorite photographer.” You jump at the sound of a familiar voice, putting on a smile when you turn to the hazel eyed blonde with the dazzling smile.  

“Your favorite? That’s a pretty high honor.” You wink and Emily laughs.  

“Well, with you in the running, no one else could stand a chance.” She shrugs and you blush.  

Emily smirks, taking a step closer and your eyes widen.  

“You always take close ups of all the players like that?” She asks and you bite your bottom lip, that foreign courage again swirling in your chest.  

“Only the cute ones.”  

Emily blinks rapidly in surprise, the tips of her ears shifting from pink to red in a matter of seconds. She opens her mouth, but is cut off when someone’s hand settles on her shoulder, the owner of said hand revealing themselves to be Kelley O’Hara moments later.  

“So, this is the person behind that Instagram photo you can’t stop talking about.” Kelley smirks and Emily turns to her eyes wide in horror.  

“What do you mean?” She asks, scoffing dramatically and your brows raise.  

“She means... ‘Oh my god, look at the picture she took of me, isn’t she so talented.’” Lindsey mimics the blonde who rolls her hazel orbs.  

“’Do you think she takes pictures like that of everyone, do you think it means something?’” Mal squeaks and Emily throws her head back with a lengthy growl. 

Suddenly, Alex appears somehow reining in the trio and dragging them towards the bench, towards her other teammates.  

“Carry on.” Alex grins, sending Emily a wink that has her cheeks flushing. She turns back to you, rubbing the back of her neck nervously as she digs her heel into the turf.  

“So I was-

Sonnett is suddenly cut off by the sound of a whistle and she throws her head back with a growl, throwing her hands up in the air.  

“CAN I JUST TALK TO THE CUTE GIRL IN PEACE!?” She shouts, stomping towards the bench and her teammates who are watching her with wide eyes, the woman completely leaving you behind in utter shock, cheeks blood red.

“Subtle Sonnett. Subtle.” Kelley shakes her head, patting the woman on the back when she reaches her.  

“Did I just say that out loud?” She asks the USWNT veteran who slowly nods.  

“Yep.”  

                                                           ***

The next time Sonnett approaches you, she’s much stiffer than before, albeit nervous.  

“He-Hey.” She sends you an awkward wave and you grin, moving to your feet from where you were knelt on the sidelines.  

You smile, your own cheeks flushed.  

“Hey stranger.” You wink and Sonnett’s cheeks flush.  

Luckily for the two of you, it was nearly time for the second half to start, leaving just a sliver of time for the two of you to talk.  

“Ho-How’s my favorite photographer?” She stammers and your brows arch.  

“Great now that her favorite defender is here.” You wink and Sonnett blushes bright red. Her tongue slips between the tight line her lips have formed and you bite your bottom lip.  

“Something on your mind?” You ask and Sonnett shrugs.  

“Maybe something...” She mumbles and your brows furrow as you take a step towards her.  

“What’s on your mind?” You ask worriedly and Sonnett takes a deep breath.  

“I was wondering if... Maybe...” Emily shuffles nervously from foot to foot and you cock your head to the side, smiling at the endearing sight.  

You take another step towards her, placing your hand gently on her forearm.  

“You can tell me.” You whisper realizing the blonde’s eyes are as wide as saucers as she stares down at your hand, your thumb running back and forth across the flesh of her arm.  

Goosebumps sprout beneath the pad of your thumb and you smile softly, Y/E/C orbs locking with Emily’s hazel ones.  

Emily opens her mouth, immediately snapping it shut before doing the action again, trying to find the words she’s searching for but unfortunately, she comes up empty.  

Also, unfortunately, she’s waved over by her team, giving you a singular nod before she rushes away, the phantom feel of your palm on her forearm.  

                                                           ***

The game against Sweden is brutal, as per usual some of the tackles to Sonnett sends a shiver down your spine and twisting your stomach in worry.  

Needless to say, you’re relieved when the game ends and everyone, is mostly intact. What you don’t expect however is Emily Sonnett literally bypassing everyone and running towards you. She throws her arms around you, pulling you into a surprise, sweaty hug that you’re more than happy to reciprocate.  

“DOYOUWANTTOGOONADATEWITHME!?” Emily shouts, her words running together like word salad.  

Your brow furrows when you pull back, eyes wide.  

“Come again?” You laugh and Sonnett takes a deep breath, swallowing hard. She’s about to clam up again, but when you boldly tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, she finds the words she’s been searching for, for so long.  

“Do you want to go on a date with me?” She asks, nervously fidgeting and you grin, surprising her and yourself by gently taking her hand.  

“I’d love to.” You whisper and the smile that takes up half of Emily’s face is dazzling, her eyes shining as she bites her bottom lip.  

“Uhh... Cool...” She nods, and your brow arches.  

“I’ll uhhh, give you my deets later.” She gives you a thumbs up, backing away slowly.  

You watch her go, the woman throwing a fist in the air before she is even a foot away. She glances over her shoulder, cheeks dark red as she gives you a charming smile.  

You shake your head, your own face split in half by a massive smile.  

You had a date with THE Emily Sonnett, and you couldn’t believe it.