#but seriously if i missed some tw tag u can send me an ask ill try to keep watch and add it

[simsfromupthere]

uhhhh so yeah, i know ive been MIA for like 303948483938 years i was actually embarrassed to open the app at all and post about it hhhh idk why i have this voice in my brain that kept telling me people would be md at me for some completely unrealistic reason, but ive been off my adhd meds for over 2 weeks now (not by choice or per my psychiatrist, my pills ran out) cause i started having a really bad experience and so these past weeks i just been incredibly sleep deprived then jumped to hypersomnia like waking up at 5 PM and shit, i had awful dry eyes dog that shit sucksss, but anyone for the longest time i legit lost all enjoyment in doing anything i usually do down to things that take me a lot of effort beyond a hobbie like making art (these are some random scraps i made most are weeks/months apart from each other) to even things i do for simple entertainment and as a relaxing fun hobby like TS4, so i legit had no content to even post cause i didnt even feel like playing when my game finally loaded, i had headaches 24/7 with a dash of nausea, was heavily having constant thoughts about r*l*psing and ideations of that ~bad thing~, i pretty much isolated myself from everyone and everything even my family and close friends and would spend all day in my room just melting all and hating myself for possibly screwing shit up again when i had finally started feeling a little content i swear i started getting angry and frustrated that i couldnt even cry and let the agony out (just zoloft things 😂), but a couple days ago then i had 2 awful p*nic attacks 2days in a row cause i just got so frustrated with myself, my self destructiveness and the way i drag down the people i love with me in my stupid vicious cycle, soooo...yea i was not doing too fresh to be online or post at any social media tbh i feel embarrassed about posting this cause i have vented abt my personal chaos so much on this blog thats meant to be about the sims 4 and not posted ts4 content and i idk i just put dumb expectations and feel embarrassing and stupid even rn writing this; i feel a lot better i mean i still feel awful but i feel significantly okayer especially with passing the concerta withadrawl hardcore symptoms and feeling getting a good cry, i just wanted to post this for...i legit have no idea why i felt like randomly posting this at 3AM maybe the kl*n*pin mellowness or something but idk i had this weird feeling of even feeling like i look stupid and feel embarrassed i wanted to post some sort of update cause ive been (or at least it feels maybe it hasnt been that long my concept of time is fucked) off the grid on this blog for so long and just wanted to drop by with a “whoop whoop am still alive” or something sorry im rambling i probably sound weird as shit rn lmfao, anyone here some irl art cause even though im still playing ts4 ive been mostly useless on ts4 content and just playing as a hobby to pass time as of now heh