#means ''ugly moose''

[callslips]

u should get a pass to be mean i think the way ur asks are clogged with freaks n weirdos who can’t take a hint. can we talk about lottienat please that will probably weed them out

YES WE CAN TALK ABOUT LOTTIENAT.

s3 predictions are so hard because idk if we even fuckin' saw nat in the trailer so we're gonna talk about lottienat and symbolism the symbolism being: mother deer father stag, doomcoming crowns, hunter/prophet, the passing on of the queen title... let's begin

mother deer father stag: lottie being mother deer, nat being father stag - comfort and security consecutively, lottie being the main source of mental stability for the girls as they are stuck in the wilderness (mother) and nat serving as the provider for all of them (father) (of course these are patriarchal roles but bear with me) ... deer represent a deep connection to spirituality and the supernatural as well as harmony and peace (all lottie wants), whereas the stag is regarded as earthly, of the land and rooted in power whilst maintaining sensitivity, intuition, and most importantly gentleness (nat's moments of aggression have always come from a place of sincerity and care/the protection of others)

NOW... DOOMCOMING CROWNS...

LOOK AT THE SIZE DIFFERENCE!

the symbolism of lottie's crown being larger and the way it still resembles antlers ... so naturalistic yet a statement of her (at the time, current) power ... vs nat's crown being a smaller (her antlers have not yet grown in), more ornamental (still clinging to the conventions of society at this point) version of the same thing - made with wire or twine - the OPPOSITE of naturalistic... they're so tethered.

HUNTER VS. PROPHET.

much like father stag/mother deer we see this juxtaposition of roles... it speaks for itself but i'll say it anyway, lottie seeing the stag begin to shed its horns - inevitable (the path bloody and ugly) coupled with the regrowth over time - is greatly indicative of nat eventually becoming the wilderness queen (prophetical) vs our beloved hunter later seeing a moose which, yet again, is a signal of strength and power but more importantly THE ANTLERS, even THE JACKET, symbolizing that she is *becoming* ready to take the role of leadership... i digress i just really love the oracle x provider dynamic ok???

lastly and most profoundly: the passing on of leadership. even though lottie assumes guilt here (she's a baby she did nothing wrong) it is still MONUMENTAL for lottienat imo, not only in the sense that lottie believes nat survived the hunt and deserves it, but that she has been PREPARING nat for this moment - blood and ash for protection, watching over her, seeing visions directly correlated to her... maybe i'm insane?

what i want to see: this new dynamic explored. nat has taken on the role of leadership in the realm of hunting but not caretaking - she is now the embodiment of the queen of hearts, loves deeply, but is now taking on a VERY big role. Who will she lean on? she's done nothing but butt heads with lottie this entire time yet now she might NEED her... lottie's guidance... omfgggg nat as saul the prosecutor turned paul the apostle. once an enemy, now reliant - dually, as they need each other (circling back to the mother/father dynamic).

there. i'll shut up. most of this is me rambling anyway.

i leave you all with the very heartwarming:

[slashingdisneypasta]

Horror House Reacts... to Zoo Animals!

.I've been watching Robert Irwin and Dave Salmoni take wild animals onto the Jimmy Shows and scare the Jimmy's and various other guest stars sOooooo... I had to make this XD

Plot: We are gonna hand each horror Villains a dangerous animal and see how they handle it. Warnings: Swearing. No actual mention of meerkats despite the gif.

Audrey II: A European Brown Hare.

Audrey II, staring at this hare stood up on its hind legs giving them the Eye: ... that is one ugly bunny rabbit. Y/N: AUDREY TWO!!- Audrey II: wh- AM I WRONG?-

Audrey II has no fear, they're a plant from outer space. He also doesn't particularly care for animals though, since its pretty globally accepted that animals are allowed to eat plants when they're peckish... and understandably, they are not having that. Not in this green house XD Nu uh, no siree, nope nope nope, the hare is gonna get eaten first if he even looks at Audrey II wrong.

Billy Loomis: An Emperor Scorpion.

Y/N: Close your eyes and put out your hands. Billy: ... *sigh* *does as he's told as to not be called a coward* Y/N: *Places the scorpion in Billy's cupped hands* Open them! ^^ This is Phil, he's very chill. Please don't drop him. Billy: ... heheh, can I keep this?? Y/N: ?? What??? No, you cant keep Phil- Billy: I wanna leave him in Stu's bed. Y/N: DEFINITELY not-

Billy, is... *sigh*, a teenage boy.

Bubba Sawyer: A Red Kangaroo.

Bubba: *Very cautious, looking at this jacked foreign creature. He's never seen anything like this, he lives in buttfuck nowhere Texas with no tv.* Y/N: Here, Bubba. *hands Bubba a bouquet of gum leaves* Offer her these. Bubba: *Unsure, but approaches the weird pocketed creature and offers out the branches... Quickly calms down when the kangaroo starts simply munching on the leaves* Y/N: See? ^^ Bubba: *Already petting the kangaroo. Wants to take her home and keep her safe and pet her and give her leaves forever.*

Bubba does not love casually 😅😅😅 Once he's warmed up to someone, that person is his family and he wants to keep them safe. My suggestion?? Sneak the kangaroo back to the zoo in the dead of night while Bubba's asleep. (or call Drayton. He certainly don't want no goddamn kangaroo in his house)

Carrie White: A Boa Constrictor.

Carrie: Um, is this safe?? *Eyeing the snake's head closely as you place her gently over her shoulders* ... Y/N: Oh yeah, don't worry, this one's a sweetheart ^^ Carrie: Okay... *snake raises her head and looks around very peacefully, just surveying the room* Oh, she's sweet!... Y/N: She seems very comfortable with you! Carrie: ! Really??

Carrie was apprehensive at first, but when she realises that the boa is not feeling threatened (or hungry), she relaxes and spends quite a while with the snake in her arms! ^^ She's disappointed when she has to say goodbye ):

Chucky Lee Ray: An Eastern Canadian Moose.

Chucky: *staring up at this giant fucking creature, clearly ready to run at any second if the thing makes an unpleasant move* ... You have gotta be fucken kidding me. Y/N: Nope. This is Jessica-Mae! She's from Canada, and she's really nice. I think she'll let you sit on her back, if you wan- Chucky: No I don't wanna sit on Jessica-Mae's back actually Y/N, Jessica-Mae is a fucken monster- Y/N: c h u c k y

Chucky has a... healthy cautiousness when it comes to wild animals XD He does like tarantulas, though.

Freddy Krueger: A West African Lion.

Y/N: Okay so for this one, um, I'm uh... yeah I'm gonna step out. Freddy: ... wait. Wait wait wait. Why are you- *You close the door one side of the room and as soon as the lock clicks into place, the lion prowls in on the other side* Freddy: Oh. Freddy, hands out like 'i mean no harm': ... nice kitty Freddy: ... um. I saw the lion king. It was... a great piece of cinema; your people should be proud. Freddy: ... please don't eat me, you giant son of a bitch.

Freddy was SO EXCITED to meet an animal, but now he's got some concerns about those teeth and his privates.

Jason Voorhees: A Ussuri Grizzly Bear.

Bear: ... *Staring down Jason* Jason: ... *Staring down Bear* Bear and Jason: *Staring each other down* Y/N: ... *Wondering if you should do something* Jason: *Suddenly walks over and gives the bear neck scritches*

... this is a giant toothy puppy to Jason XD Jason loves wildlife, they were his friends growing up in the woods! ^^ And he knows how to keep them calm, so he's very good with them. He hangs out with the bear until its time to go outside, then Jason follows him outside and hangs with him out there ^^

Jennifer Check: A White Rhinoceros.

Jennifer, as soon as Grizelda the rhino steps in: -oh jesus fucking christ. Jennifer: You're fat. Y/N: Oy! Jennifer: What??? She's meant to be, right?? 🙄 G o d... look who's animal-cist. Jennifer: ... can I feed the fat bitch?

The fact that this is an animal does not change a thing about the way Jennifer talks to her XD She is so fascinated, though, and wants to feed Grizelda, pet Grizelda, ask many many questions about Grizelda... she loves her.

Jerry Dandridge: A Perentie Monitor Lizard (Goanna).

Y/N, helping goanna onto Jerry's lap: Now, be careful with Sandy, he can be kinda easily startled and then his claws will cut into your skin, and- Jerry: *Getting along great with the Sandy, Sandy is in the best mood you have ever seen him in; purring.* Y/N: ... Y/N: ... wtf, how?! Sandy's usually so grumpy!- Jerry: Oh I guess we just have a connection~

Jerry and reptiles get along great, they're cold blooded and he... is always cold. He has no blood. He's a vampire XD Try giving him a puppy, though, and watch that puppy leap away from him and growl like a possessed thing (Jerry gets so frowny about it XD).

Michael Myers: A Bengal Tiger.

Michael: *Stock still, actually considering running for the first time in 50 decades* Tiger: ... *yawns* *prowls over to Michael and lays on top of his feet, promptly falling asleep* Y/N: ... um. Well, I think she likes you?? Michael: *Does not move an inch for 3 hours while the tiger naps, staring at it*

Michael, just like cats... is a bitch. They basically adopt him into their family as their big dumb weirdo child (Yes, even the big terrifying ones) and there is not a thing grumpy old Myers can do about it XD

Pamela Voorhees: A Silver Fox.

Pam: *Loves the fox. Sitting in her chair and leaning down to give it treats. Cooing at her.* Y/N: You're so good with her! ^^ Pam: ~Stay away from my son, dear, and I wont have to sick her on you~ Y/N: ... D: What?

Pamela and a sharp toothed creature is a dangerous combination. Stay away from her son.

Patrick Bateman: An African Savanna Elephant.

Patrick: *A too-big smile glued to his face as he strokes the dirty wrinkly elephant* This is... this is fun... Y/N: I knew you'd like her! ^^ Anna is so sweet, and gentle, and quiet, so- Patrick: -You cant tell when I'm fucken lying through my t e e t h!?

Patrick doesn't like any animals, they're wild and filthy and break irreplaceable things he spent hard-earned money on to be unique, but he will force a pleasant face because that is what he does

Pennywise: A Mountain Zebra.

*i was tempted to do a turtle but... seemed too obvious XD Still unsure i made the right call*

Penny: Heheheheh, whats black, white and- Y/N: Don't do it. I swear. Dont do it. Penny: Okay okay okay, I'll be serious. Hey, why do zebras have stripes? Y/N: Oh, well they developed stripes because- Penny: Because they didn't want to be Spotted!

Penny c a n n o t s t o p m a k i n g z e b r a j o k e s. Otherwise, he's pretty good with the zebra. No problems ^^

Stu Macher: A Somali Ostrich.

Stu: Heheh... Y/N, these things don't bite, do they?? Y/N: Oh they totally do. *Hands Stu the leash* Anything with a mouth bites. Stu, levelling his gaze with the giant flightless bird: ... I will bite you back.

Stu is a little chicken, but he's also really curious!! XDD So sure, he'll hang onto the leash and feed the monster bird!! But he will absolutely crouch down and cover his head if the ostrich starts fluttering his wings. And don't you dare leave him XD

Tiffany Valentine: Baby Nile Crocodiles.

Tiff: Chucky!! We have new children now!! Chucky: THE FUCK WE DO- Y/N: N- no... you cant keep them actually... Tiff, ignoring you and Chucky: The kids are gonna love these ^^ Come on, sweethearts, into the sack, single file now- hey, Trudy, no biting your brother-

Tiffany is in love XD And you know how one-track-minded she can be when she's in love XD

[wickedsrest-rp]

Gaslight, Gatekeep, Gooboss | Group Thread

TIMING: Current PARTIES: Ariadne (@ariadnewhitlock), Jade (@highoctanegem), Mack (@realmackross), and Oliver (@arustysnake) SUMMARY: Ariadne, Jade, Mack, and Oliver are at makeshift shelter volunteering and helping people displaced by the goo. The building rattles and the lights shut off as the goo they were trying to hide from starts to leak in. Despite Jade's earlier attempts to stir the pot, the four of them have to work together to get out and to make sure everyone else gets to safety with them. She finds the stairs to the roof and Ollie helps her shuffle everyone along. Ariadne reluctantly goes first (but not before accidentally mentioning that Mack is a little bit dead). Things look dire as the goo continues to rise. Mack isn't fast enough and gets engulfed by the goo. Luckily, the "screaming moose" came to the rescue and screamed everyone to safety, shattering the goo and freeing everyone stuck inside. CONTENT WARNINGS: None

The goo had taken over just about everything inland, but Mackeznie had been safe in her home near the sea at Harborside. No worries so far. However, that didn’t mean that things weren’t a struggle for most of the town, and she had never been one to shy away from helping when there had been a crisis. It’s why she was now standing in the middle of one of the makeshift shelters trying to organize mass chaos and help prepare meals for those who had lost so much to the goo already.

Luckily, she hadn’t been alone in her endeavors. Having Ariadne with her seemed to make things better. A familiar face was always nice. Of course, there had also been Jade - the food delivery driver who had oddly wanted a tour of her house, but that was in the past. Now, they were facing a situation that had become grave for so many, and that’s what had truly mattered.

“Hey, um…Oliver, right? Can you pass me that towel?” There had been another person assigned to their group though that Mackenzie didn’t recognize. He had seemed nice enough, but for some odd reason, she had gotten the feeling that he didn’t like her very much, and she didn’t know why. Mack had been used to people not liking her. She had gotten plenty of comments online from those who despised her work or thought she was spoiled. But her favorite had been the ones that claimed her to be an ugly, privileged bitch. It was definitely nothing new, and she had opted to just handle his distaste with a smile and kindness.

—

Ollie had tried to go home after the school kept-calm through that early dismissal; well, to go back to the house, anyway. To the cats, who were probably - they’d be fine! They would. Really! He was deciding to believe, just for the moment, that the O’Rourke place was every bit as blessed as his family had always said. So it would be there, as much in one piece as it’d ever been, safe and sound from the zinnias to the weathervane, when Wicked’s Rest… dealt with whatever this fresh heck was. 

Like he was deciding to believe that no, the lady who’d just sent him startling out of the wash-rinse-repeat daze of dishwashing definitely, absolutely was not who he’d thought she was, at first, wide-eyed, dry-mouthed glance. Couldn’t be. She was too normal. Not at all like that glazed-over, greyish, hungry horror show that’d gnawed through the meat case and his shoulder. (Which was also fine. Or would be, when it stopped - it would be fine.) This was just some total stranger. Who couldn’t be what Inge had said she was. 

What Inge had said the thing that tried to eat them was. Which was not this lady. 

“Yes! Of course! No problem…” Ollie pulled the tea towel she’d asked for off his shoulder - that shoulder, the one she obviously hadn’t bitten - and handed it over. Might be the last clean one left; they were already running short on everything. “You’d think we’d - they’d have more of everything put aside, emergency-supplies-wise. Given all the, ah, emergencies, around here…” A nervous sort-of laugh skittered away from him as he dug back into the sink, looking over the shelterful of people this not-zombie wouldn’t rip apart the moment they ran out of sandwiches. Obviously.

She didn’t like the goo, even if she did still feel somewhat bad about disliking something that didn’t seem to have been caused maliciously. But then again, Ariadne didn’t know about most any of those things. (Other thought patterns were pushed out of the way in favor of focusing on the present moment. Well, that and the fact that she so desperately wanted to text Wynne and give away the small surprise she’d gotten them (it wasn’t much, but she’d found an old and used record player for them, and figured it would just be a bonus extra belated birthday present. She had a feeling they hadn’t gotten lots of gifts throughout their life).

Volunteering felt nice, though, something tangible and good that she could do to help people in the town. People none of whom, thankfully, she recognized from having given them nightmares.

Plus, Ollie was here, and that always made Ariadne feel better about most everything. Mack was here too, which she was also excited about, except for the fact that she didn’t know if Mack knew that she knew that Mack was also dead.

“You’d think that, but I dunno, I guess our stuff is normal, so maybe we don’t have it ‘cause of that?” Ariadne scrunched up her nose. “That made no sense, and I’m aware of that, sorry.” She pulled out a bag of Sour Patch Strawberries and put a few in her mouth, offering the bag to the woman near her, “do you want any?”

Full disclosure? Jade had no clue she’d stumbled into a shelter. Like, she saw a little crowd gathering around the building and her nosy senses kicked in. She thought there was a thrift shop type thingy going on at first. And then well, there was a pretty cute guy with incredible dimples volunteering and he was super friendly, so Jade figured she’d get his number by the end of the day. She stayed around. Helping was like, second nature to her anyway. The goo sure had fewer fangs than what she usually tackled in order to keep everyone safe, but helping humankind was helping humankind in any way that mattered. 

Normally Jade would’ve tried to lighten the mood, throw a little joke here and there. Admittedly, it was slightly uncomfortable doing so when her skin thrummed with the alarm of undead in the vicinity. She couldn’t pick up on vampires particularly, but someone was out there, missing a heartbeat. When they ended up drifting into groups, Jade was able to find out exactly who was keeping her on edge. The first one, Mack. She knew about her, had like, a whole past together. The other was a blonde girl, unfairly tall for how young she looked. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever seen anyone so young in the undead team. Jade had to shake whatever stirred inside her at the image, cause it wasn’t like she could grab the knife she had concealed inside her jacket and just go on a stabbing spree. People were bummed out already, she could read the room. The third member of their group didn’t feel threatening, though he was a little grey-faced for whatever reason, so she was slightly sus of him. 

“Look, this is literally the worst place I’ve ever lived in” Jade chimed in, when she heard the exchange between the man and the girl. “But like, to play devil’s advocate…who’d have a contingency plan for this?” And that was the nicest she’d ever be about this little town from hell. She glanced at the blonde girl, eyes dropping to the bag. She wasn’t sure about fraternizing with the undead. (Without ulterior motives, at least). “Um… I’m good babe, don’t worry about me. Maybe Mack wants some. Or, uh…Oliver was it?” That’s what she’d heard, at least. “I’m Jade by the way, don’t we make a kick ass team?” she faked a big smile. Just cause she knew about the undead vibes, didn’t mean she had to be like, rude or anything.  

“Thanks.” Mackenzie reached out and took the towel, “I agree. It’s like this town is one big horror movie, and we’re just the unlucky ones stuck living in it.” Folding it over, she began drying off the counter she had just wiped with a wet, soapy cloth. With more sandwiches to make of a different variety, she wanted to make sure any residue of peanut butter and jelly had ceased to exist. But Mack couldn’t stop herself from noticing Oliver’s nervousness, “Hey, are you okay? I know this goo situation isn’t ideal, but I think we’re pretty safe inside.” Maybe it was the fact that the town was in a state of emergency and not so much that Mack was the culprit of his nervousness, but she just wasn’t entirely sure.

Finishing what she was doing, Mack sat the towel aside and returned the peanut butter and jelly jars to their rightful place, “Have you eaten anything? I can make you a sandwich.” In fact, she had wondered if Ariadne or Jade had even eaten. “Hey, Ariadne, Jade, do you guys want me to make a sandwich for you? I’ve got PB&J, Nora’s favorite…Ham and cheese, and turkey and cheese.” Knowing she was working on turkey, ham, and cheese next, she pulled out all of the ingredients from the industrial sized refrigerator and carried them over to the counter.

It made a Wicked’s Rest sort of sense. Ollie wanted to give Deeny a point for that; this was only slightly above the average level of freakish by the standards of this nightmarishly quaint corner of Americana they were both unfortunate enough to have sprang from, yes - but to actually say so seemed like inviting some new, horrible twist of bullshit. Better not. 

He glanced between that unfamiliar face, Jade, to Mack; the first had a smile that might’ve unsettled him, somehow, if it weren’t for the maybe man-eating one right there, to compare. Ollie found a near-grin of his own, for Ariadne. “You keep ‘em, Deeny. More for you.” Like this was just another night of baby-sitting after a rough day at dance class, and loading up on sugar was the fastest way to fix it. 

Jesus. Mack got an actual twitch out of him, just asking. “Oh, I’m -” Ollie let out a clearly very okay sort of scoff between dishes. “Fine!” Seeing as they were totally pretty safe. Inside. Right. “I mean, it’s only been a century and change since the last time something almost exactly like this went on, and that was, probably, the worst single thing that’s ever happened around here. Just, by sheer volume of…” death? property damage? goo? He shrugged right into a wince, not especially wanting to dwell on just how bad this newest mess might get. Before any zombies got involved. “Have you eaten anything, Mack?” The question snuck out quick, earnest. Ever so slightly strained. “You’ve been doing so much for everybody, you - you should eat, definitely.” Just in case. 

“Could I just have jelly? Um, if you don’t mind!” Ariadne chirped over to Mackenzie. “But I’m actually kind of all good, so you don’t have to.” The last thing she wanted, in the middle of what could clearly only be described as a total disaster, was to be a burden, and especially since she didn’t technically have to eat, and did always carry candy around to help satisfy the whole sweets craving thing, she wasn’t about to put anybody out.

“Oh – yeah, I can have them, if nobody else does.” She looked down at the floor for a moment, briefly dejected, though she figured only Oliver would be able to spot that, because she’d only known Mackenzie for a few months, and this Jade lady was totally new. Absolutely super movie-star pretty, but totally new. Ariadne nodded, looking over to Jade again, “have you lived in a lot of places? I’ve – well, I was born here.” And died here. “So I’ve only ever lived here for my whole life, but it’s always amazing to hear about people living elsewhere. I think Mackenzie did, too, um, right?”

“I’m all good” Jade reiterated, on the prospect of having a sandwich. (And like, who was Nora, by the way?). She figured it was better just to leave the food for the people in the shelter anyway. She’d get one of the volunteers to buy her dinner after. The sour patch kid (Ariadne, apparently) addressed her again, and Jade shook her head. “I lived in California for most of my life, actually. But then, I went on a little road trip around the country,” chasing an elder vampire and its progeny but, details. She still ended up in all different places. None like Wicked’s Rest, that’s for sure.    

Listening to the rest of the team chat, Jade lined up more slices of bread on the tray, with a degree of perfection that shouldn’t matter when they were about to be filled seconds later. (But whatever, she liked things neat, alright?) It was kind of a bummer that everyone already knew each other, while she was the outlier. (Story of her life). But that meant, she could bring the element of surprise. Her eyes sparkled with mischief, knowing what she had to do. “So…I’m sensing some tension here” she looked up, wiggling her eyebrows. Truth was, she wasn’t sensing much tension other than her own, but it would be fun to see what came out of her vague statement. Maybe it would distract her from her own feelings. The man, Oliver, was acting all kinds of sus, anyway. Like he was the slayer getting all the uncomfortable undead tingles right now. Her gaze danced between Mack and Oliver. “Did you guys bang? Is that what this…” she gestured between them, “is? I’m sure we can all put that aside to help here, can’t we?” Her eyes wrinkled in amusement, glancing at Ariadne with a conspiratory grin. She hoped she would enjoy this just as much as Jade did. Kids loved tea, right? “Just like I totally forgave Mack for stealing my boyfriend when I was 22!” 

She truly was over it, really. And if it helped fix whatever was going on between those two, then Jade was doing them a service by sharing her story. What was she, if not in service of humanity? The cocky grin spreading across her face faltered when something eerily like underground vibrations reached her ears. Her hands held the tray in front of her in place, though nothing shook. “Huh, did anyone hear that?”

“Jelly it is!” Sliding two pieces of bread over from where Jade had neatly lined them up, Mackenzie began spreading on the sweet gelled consistency all over the bread while she listened to everyone talk, “And yeah, I’m good. I ate before I came over here, but thanks for asking.” She looked at Oliver with a smile not really picking up what he was putting down aside from more awkwardness. What’s with this guy? “I’ve lived in California most of my life, but I did move around quite a bit for work.” She looked back towards Ariadne and continued to listen while she made good use of her time, until she heard Jade ask if she had banged Oliver.

Putting the knife down she was holding, Mackenzie narrowed her eyes at Jade, before looking back at the man standing next to her, “Uh, no. We haven’t banged…Kind of a personal question, don’t you think?” She looked back over at the woman that she had only known from getting food delivered to her house. That was highly inappropriate and weird. Mack was used to rumors spreading around about her in the tabloids. She had been watching a shitshow of how the media ran wild with theories of her and Brody for months now. But the words out of Jade’s mouth had smacked her upside the head like a ton of bricks, “What did you just say?”

Grabbing the other piece of bread, she slapped it down on the sandwich frustration clearly starting to come through, “I didn’t steal anybody. Brody mentioned having a girlfriend previously, but thought it was best to end things.” It was taking a lot for Mackenzie to hold back the anger that was starting to boil inside of her, especially the undead side of things. But remembering there were other people in the room, she grabbed the jelly sandwich and put it on a plate passing it over to Ariadne, before she felt the same shift that Jade was talking about.

“Great,” Ollie half-hummed, wishing he believed Mack as much as he’d really, really like to. Logically, though - if believing in zombies set your bar for logic, which, apparently, his should - if you could avoid being a ravening, hangry monster by snacking on whatever her equivalent of a Snickers might be, you would. And that was, oh, God, absolutely all the thinking he wanted to do about that. He’d have happily sunk back into the calming(ish) routine of clearing the dishpit. Too bad Jade got curious, for some reason. Nothing better to do, he might’ve thought. If they did not, in fact, have so many better things to do. Loads! Shitloads, even. 

Mack spared him wracking his wrung-out brain for a passably clever comeback to that, at least. (He’d have thanked her, really, if not for - well, she’d got her quarter pound of flesh, already.) So Ollie left his answer at the gayest stare he could drum up after a long, long… half-year, and went back to scrubbing cutting boards. Listening along, obviously, as Mack bit down - aha - on that second scrap of bait Jade had thrown out. So they knew each other. Over very different stories about a boyfriend. Or from the boyfriend? He could’ve chimed in, having also definitely never stolen a boyfriend, but. Nah. Seemed like they had some stuff to work out. It’d be more fun to watch. So long as Mack didn’t literally rip Jade’s head off, anyway. 

(Super funny. Christ. He had to get out of this whole place.)

He’d just done his best to sneak a tired, totally not frantic smile Deeny’s way when something like a… bassline, real low, deep, rumbled right up his spine. Ollie blinked, unclenching his jaw with a grimace as the - sound? faded. Shaking that off, he frowned down at the cheap rec center tiles as Jade wondered the same thing he was. How wouldn’t somebody feel that? “Yeah…” The sinkwater rippled as another rumble, almost a groan, shuddered through the place. Enough for everyone to startle, out at the tables. Not just them! Confirmed. So nice to know. 

She offered the woman – Jade – an awkward grin, because any weird talk about Ollie felt bad, but Jade also seemed cooler than cool, and Ariadne didn’t want to disappoint her, either. Which was a fair bit of a conundrum, but nothing she couldn’t handle (or so she told herself) (and, after all, in the past year she’d gotten exceptionally excellent at lying to herself). She knew Mack, and knew Mack was more like her than not, but that also didn’t seem good to tell the other people, because it was a private matter, and she didn’t know if Mack liked it, like Inge seemed to, or if she didn’t, like Ariadne still felt, even if she was trying to come to terms with it.

Taking the sandwich, Ariadne didn’t even have time to bite it before the building shifted (or something), and she dropped the plate, wincing as it clattered, tensing up again at the shift. “Something’s happening, yeah.” Genius deduction skills on her part, surely. Brilliant. It wasn’t like everyone else had already pointed that out.

“I – I don’t think we were due for an earthquake…” her voice trailed off.

Jade smiled, which felt all kinds of villainous really, but it was a genuine, delighted smile. The first one since she got here, actually. Sure, she was making everything messier by bringing up old, forgotten tea, but at least they were having fun now, right? Well, she was. Mack on the other hand, didn’t look too pleased. She waved her hand, her posture relaxed. “It’s all in the past babe, I’m just trying to get you two to put whatever you got going on behind. We’re really knuckle deep if I have to go all…voice of the reason”. Wasn’t that weird? For someone who claimed to have no fault in the whole boyfriend stealing debacle to get all defensive? Jade sure thought so, but also knew not to provoke further. It was about being the right amount of menace to shake things up. 

Speaking of…  

Jade had experienced more than a few earthquakes in her lifetime. All things considered, when they weren’t like… absurdly destructive they were fine. A little fun, even! The underground rumbling beneath them sorta felt like one, but like… the movement wasn’t there. Seriously, she’d been in beds with frames that shook harder than it just had. So, yup… fully in agreement with the Sour Patch kid, it was very unlikely to be an earthquake. (Anything could make those noises, basically). She released her grip on the tray, deciding to go about her business, lining up more bread slices. “I’m not like, a science person… but I bet we have like… underground gas from the mines” she nodded, pursing her lips like she had said the most brilliant thing ever spoken. She slid the tray to the girls, but before she could stir the conversation towards conspiracy theories, the lights went out. Nope, they like… fully exploded above them. At the same time the ground shook, for real this time, the building trembled along with it.

And then, it was like something hooked her stomach and they were sinking, plummeting as the force sent them all to the floor. 

It was like The Tower of Terror, in a lot of ways. But better. (The one from Disneyland by the way, not Disneyworld) (She’d never been to Florida). The adrenaline rush gave Jade two seconds of absolute bliss before she understood the severity of the situation. (They fell… into a hole?) (How were they still alive, actually?) It wasn’t over. And it wasn’t safe. It felt like the building was readying for another drop, as it slowly slinked into sludge. Or maybe, actually, it was going to fully collapse. “Sh—oot” she blinked, her vision adjusting to the complete darkness. Enough to spot the food they had been working on spilled everywhere, and, at the distance, black goo dripping from the shattered windows. (Ooooh). “Y’all okay?” Before she could hear much of anything, chaotic screaming broke out at the table.

Mackenzie so greatly wanted to strangle Jade at that moment. No. Better yet. She wanted to let the monster inside of her take over and make Jade her own personal meal. The brains of the woman who finally proved the zombie’s gut feeling right. She had known since the day Jade had stepped foot in Mack’s house to deliver food and wanted to take some random tour, that there was something off. And now she had gotten her answer.

Oliver seemed even more embarrassed, and she didn’t know what was going through Ariadne’s mind. All she wanted to do was take this outside and finish their little discussion in private, but before she could, Mack felt the floor shift. And then watched as the lights exploded above them. Great. That was the last thing she had needed, since her eyesight was crap in the first place.

It was the great plunge that happened that caused Mackenzie to drop what she was doing and grip the countertop as tight as she possibly could though. All anger had left her body in that instance and her concern had fallen on her teammates (including Jade) and the…now screaming people in the other room. Unfortunately for her, being in the dark with her fading senses didn’t help, except the smell, she knew that smell and the sound of busted pipes that weren't actually busted pipes…the goo. The thing they were supposed to be safe from and it was starting to leak inside, “Fuck.” She glanced between Jade, Ariadne, and Oliver, before looking back to the panic stricken room full of people, “Anybody got any ideas on how we can get out of this mess?” She figured they didn’t, but it would at least give her some time to think of something, hopefully…

Deeny had that right; Maine got more earthquake drills than earthquakes. Still, Ollie found himself leaning into the counter, weirdly off-balance, just off - vibrating with something other than nerves, now, enough that the clatter of Ariadne’s plate had barely registered. Like whatever they had going on? Is that what she’d said? Seemed like he was the only one who knew. Mack would have to be a hell of an actress to play this cool about a whole attempted (cannibalistic) murder. But - it was her, wasn’t it? Sans the dead-doe glazed-over eyes, those gory, gaping teeth…

Christ. How crazy was he? 

Shaking it off, or trying to, anyway, Ollie bent to clean up the floor sandwich, the plate. Only to drop both all over again as everything hellevatored down. Hard. 

The landing was… unsettlingly sludgy. He opened his eyes on near-total darkness. Too many somebodies were screaming, crunching wildly through what sounded like an awful amount of broken glass. A couple frantic phone flashlights swung through the gloom. With a hiss, Ollie peeled away from the cupboard he’d braced against - bad shoulder first. That hungry-mouthful of arm throbbed, furiously; he snuck a few fingers under his collar to check the dressing as he stood, slow, finding his footing on tilted tiles. That were tilting a little more by the moment, more like a loosely moored wharf than a building with what should be a solid, steady foundation. Amazing. Fantastic! Wicked.

And now what? Ideas. “Roof access?” He winced, gripping down on that chewed up shoulder as one of those creeping, crawling shivers ran through it, cold and itchy. “There should be -” Ollie turned, took a quick breath, and projected over the panic like they were all in goddamn gym class. “HEY!” Well, that - that’d worked better than he’d expected, actually. “Thank you,” he seized the lull, then chunked the instructions, quick, clear. Just another (not) drill. Totally. “We need. To get. To the roof. Does anybody know the easiest way to do that?” It was a community hall they’d wound up in; not a place he was familiar with, but there had to be someone in here who was from the neighborhood. Probably? Hopefully… 

She yelped when the lights exploded, and in turn again when they fell, and Ariadne knew this wasn’t the time for her to feel all sorry for herself or anything like that, but she couldn’t help but feel at least a bit ashamed given… all of this. Given how she should’ve been able to hold it together and be braver, rather than a disaster.

Ariadne could hear people screaming and she wanted to cry for them, because they had to be good, and they didn’t deserve this, and Mack was asking about how they could get out of the mess and all Ariadne could focus on, for a moment, was how Mack was dead just like her, except not just like her, but that was semantics and really wasn’t what she should’ve been focusing on at the moment.

Thankfully, Ollie seemed to have a decent handle on things, and between him and Jade (and Mack, too, Ariadne had to admit), they had responsible adults here who actually knew what they were doing, and what a relief that was. What was less of a relief, though, was that there were a lot of murmurs of ‘I don’t know’ after Ollie asked his question. “Um, we – maybe if we stack some stuff on top of each other?...” She looked around at her companions, realizing that now, in the dark, her eyes had to be taking on something of a crimson glow. Well that was fun.

“Let’s save that idea for when we have no other option” Jade replied to the blondie. (The younger one) (Sour patch kid was getting a little repetitive). Hopefully it wouldn’t come to them playing jenga with the kitchen objects while trying to reach the ceiling. Or an even worse alternative: Stacking themselves on top of eachother like some sorta human pyramid. Her cheerleading days were long gone, she didn’t have it in her. She looked around, just like the rest of the people in the room, searching for options. The windows wouldn’t work, obviously. Not only were they busted, but currently the main source of goo leaking into the building. The fire escape was probably ruined too, so that didn’t leave a ton of options. 

A booming voice managed to quiet all the panicky murmurs in the hall, and Jade raised her eyebrows at Oliver. “That was so hot of you, babe,” she winked at him even though the darkness didn’t allow visibility. For him. She could see pretty freaking well right now. And not only did he manage to get everybody to shut up, his idea was even better. “To the roof, yup. Listen to the guy”. Considering they were like, sinking into the sludge, that had to be a goo free zone, no? She wanted to imagine that at least. With impeccable timing, the building slid again, rumbling underneath them. Ugh. “Stairs,” she mumbled, mostly to herself while Oliver and everybody else on the other side tried to communicate. 

Jade had been told before she wasn't a particularly great leader (lies). Apparently? Cause she always wanted things done her way, or whatever. (True)(And the correct way, mind you). So she wanted no part in sorting out the mess of discussions between volunteers and those displaced by the goo. Her three teammates were being rockstars about it. She figured what they needed now more than anything, was someone nosy enough to go looking. So that was exactly what she did. She sauntered by the storage room toward the corridor. Some of the emergency exits were still illuminated. Right. Follow the little colored arrows, how hard could it be? They should go through the one door with “roof access” written on it, but that was like, totally a hunch. She spun around, strolling back to the kitchen to share her findings.

Meanwhile, the volunteers in the sheltering area were doing the job of keeping everyone as calm as possible post slump. And honestly? They were flopping a little. A few of them succumbed to the panic too. Jade stood between Mack and Oliver, in case their sexual tension was ready to explode. “There’s a neat door in the corridor that we should open. My guess? Stairs to the roof” she nodded, lips pressed into a smug smile. “Even if that’s like a total bust, we should start moving these people. They’re gonna keep freaking out if they think we’re in the latest Final Destination” she clasped her hands together, as if this was some sort of school excursion. “SO! Up the stairs we go? Yay!” She was the first out of the kitchen cause like, if this were the Titanic, she should’ve definitely had the front seat. But something bigger than her froze her after she walked through the frame. She watched as people came over from the shelter side. (Ugh) She was like, a volunteer or something… so she had some responsibility or whatever. It wasn’t her brand of protecting people, but it counted too. It did. She knew this. 

“Roof access. That’s good. Good call.” Mackenzie looked between her partners and out into the sea of people in the other much larger room. How had all of this fallen on their shoulders? Ariadne was just a kid. Oliver looked like someone who had lost their favorite toy AND stepped on a lego multiple times. And Jade…well Jade was just Jade. But the one thing she had going for her was that she did take initiative, so Mackenzie did appreciate that. And what was even more of a win? When the food delivery girl returned with a solution. But Mackenzie still wanted to have a few words when this was all said and done, because she was not a boyfriend stealer.

Seeing Jade freeze when the crowd of people started to make their way towards the kitchen, Mackenzie stepped in. She had dealt with massive amounts of people before. Mostly with security around, but this was a literal matter of life and death. And to make herself more noticeable, she climbed onto the counter and stood up, so they could all see her through the large open window area of the kitchen, “HEY! If we all want to make it out of here, we’re gonna have to single file it up the stairs. And NO pushing! We want to make it out alive and safe right? And we want our fellow neighbors to do so as well!” She motioned towards the door leading to safety, “Go through that doorway over there as quickly and safely as possible, and again, no pushing! We don’t want a back up on the 405!” You could take the girl out of California, but you couldn’t take California out of the girl.

Hopping off the counter, she had hoped they would listen and not push and shove, and as the last of them followed through the doorway, she turned to her fellow volunteers, “Ariadne, you go first, since you’re the youngest.” She wasn’t going to watch her friend succumb to a gooey death. She refused, and honestly, if Oliver and Jade had wanted to go before Mackenzie as well, she had no qualms. Mack was already dead after all.

Jade was saying something; what, Ollie couldn’t sort out. Not with his head rattling this hard. (Vertigo? He’d never had vertigo. Panic attack? He wasn’t panicking.) She was probably just making it weirder. Had a real gift for that. The power had really gone out, out; gone, leaving just the bluish haze of those phones, the low, red glow of a couple signs, and… he stopped, staring into the blackness at the red glow of something else, something horribly like - 

His eyes unfocused, that red scattering as he swayed through another rumble that juddered right from the soles of his feet to the back of his skull. The floor took another tilt, settling lower. Deeper, more accurately. Deeper in that crap that was gurgling in.

Thankfully, Jade also had a gift for finding actual exits. So they didn’t die a couple of truly Wicked’s Rest-grade deaths. And Mack had the crowd control thing down, which shouldn’t have been so surprising, seeing as she wasn’t a deranged cannibal. Wise, throwing in the no pushing; the startled watch-outs and heys that followed the pile-up as they singleish-filed their way upstairs had made it pretty damn clear they’d needed the reminder. Just like tenth graders on a field trip. Totally just like that. 

Still unsteady, Ollie followed the counter - that hand he’d checked his shoulder with were tacky against the formica. Blood? Something worse? Nothing good. But fine! It’d all be fine. “Yeah, Deeny - go on,” he agreed, easily, head spinning. Not just because he was trying to keep an eye on whatever the hell he… maybe saw, glaring out of the dark. Jesus. Like they didn’t have enough problems; now he was “seeing” new ones. Ollie shook it off as a loud shove-creak echoed down that packed stairway, followed by sighs and cries that slid between relieved and urgent. All those footfalls scrambled harder, higher. “Sure sounds like a way out, hey?” He tried to squint back at those broken windows and the sunk-low corner where the goo must’ve started to pool. And where it had to be flowing from, as the building pitched again, violently enough to send tables dragging across the floor and chairs crashing. “Up -” Ollie started, following his own frantic directions onto the kitchen island. “Up, everybody up!” 

Roof access made sense. It made sense in very much the same way that reminded Ariadne just how glad she was that she wasn’t the only person in charge of solving this problem. Or really, the person in charge at all. Because she’d help, certainly and without question, but being in charge wasn’t something she was even remotely comfortable with. Having to choreograph something gave her enough anxiety as it was, and she wasn’t even in charge of life or death at that point. “Right, yes, of course,” she nodded at Jade, before turning towards Ollie and Mackenzie.

“I – why – I don’t need to –” she felt her stomach turn in a sense of guilt. “Just because I’m youngest doesn’t mean I need to go first, that’s – I can move quickly, and I don’t want Mack to die, like, again or stuff?” Ariadne pressed her hand quickly against her mouth, unable to believe that she’d just said what she’d said. “I mean, like, ‘cause she’s died in movies she’s been in, right? And we don’t want – that would be very bad if it happened in real life.” She wanted to sink into herself, hoping maybe nobody else noticed. Because she wasn’t supposed to say stuff like that, and she felt sick to her stomach. “I can – whoever wants to, can go,” she tugged at her bracelet. 

Jade got to do one of the things she loved most: Bossing people around. It was super fun to tell everybody not to shove each other and be patient while going up the stairs. Two things she would’ve totally failed at, had she been on the other side. But she wasn’t so, she got to live her dreams and keep people safe in the process. She tapped her boot, watching the line get shorter, wishing she was already at the top of the stairs (closer to reaching the exit), than at the bottom, with her whimsical team of volunteers in a building that kept tilting every second. But again, this fell under the ‘protecting people’ umbrella, so her conscience was clean. Confused by the sound of her boot no longer echoing against the tiles, she glanced down. Sludge splashed beneath her, and a thin layer of goo (at least for now) began spreading to the corridor too. Well, crap. 

She whipped her head toward the kitchen, looking for the rest of her crew. She noticed the crimson glow in the younger girl’s eyes. Uh. Jade couldn’t ignore the thrumming underneath her skin anymore. It continued to indicate she wasn’t in front of a vampire. But… what if her spidey sense didn’t get reception down here, or the goo was intercepting it? She became increasingly aware of the knife inside her jacket. Just in case. If it came down to it, she’d have to make sure this girl didn’t hurt anyone. Her innocent act wasn’t fooling her. And actually, it was making a lot of sense how she kept insisting on staying with them. Planning to kill them, maybe? (Who said she wasn’t like every slayer?) (Emilio would be so freaking proud of her paranoia). She looked at Mack, curious of her reaction as blondie revealed what Jade already knew. She was also dead. Wait. Shoot. As fun as the tea was, they were sorta in the middle of a thing. “Um. Okay? We don’t have time to debate who goes or doesn’t go first. We’ll all end up getting there eventually, anyway”. And if the kid didn’t want to go up the stairs then, whatever. She was already dead. It sorta made the job quicker for her if she preferred getting encased by the Wish version of the Kid’s Choice Awards slime. 

The building sank again, the hardest since the initial slump. The Powers That Be likely pissed about all this chit-chat. The room turned, chairs and tables dragged, screeching against the floor. Goo pooled under their feet, coming with more violence out of every broken window. Oliver commanded them to get on the island, but Jade knew that was like, smart only for so long. It could lead to them getting flooded by the sludge. “Unless we can surf on the island all the way to the roof, which… fun, I’ve been meaning to try that. Maybe we should like, skedaddle… actually” She gestured to the corridor and spoke specifically to Oliver, on account of… being the only other person alive in the room. If Mack and Ariadne wanted to follow, well… Jade didn’t plan on stopping them. For now. “But you know… feel free to... Yup”. Having evacuated most of the people in the shelter her only concern now was her own survival. She trailed up behind the last person on the single line (she was still serious about her duty), slowly walking up the stairs. She could hear people cheering at the top, so she figured… that meant they must’ve found the exit door, right? Great! Perfect. This would count as her biggest W. Who was a girl failure? Not her! 

Something roared furiously beneath them, material crumbling as the building took another, almost final dive. Jade and the rest of the people still at the stairs, tumbled to the side, leaving them to climb up the rest of the way at an awkward angle. Desperate shrieks echoed from the top, and everyone seemed to give up any effort to stay calm. It had become a race to get out.  

Mackenzie had been insistent that Ariadne make her way up first, but when the building started to shift again and Goo Girl in Real Life started to become a thing, she gave up on the effort. Well and because, “What…What did you just say?” A shiver shot down her spine. Not because of the imminent danger they were in, but because Ariadne had just, out loud, mentioned that Mack was dead. And the attempted coverup was only making it worse. Hopefully Jade, who was already causing enough problems, and Oliver, who had been skittish this entire time, hadn’t noticed. Never had she hoped and prayed that such chaos would cover up the truth about who she really was, but if they made it out alive, she was going to have a little conversation with Ariadne, because despite her being at the sleepover that night, word on the street was that she had been holed up in a room with Wynne the entire time making out. So someone had to have spilled the dead beans, and the young zombie wanted to know who.

While chaos continued on around them, Mack had started to spiral. Jade was already suspicious of her and Brody, and this might have just sealed the deal on that, but when she felt a stronger shift in the building, which sent her sliding into the side of the counter she had previously been standing on, with a thud, the twenty-five year old finally came back to her senses and the situation they were in. Shit, that hurt…

Pushing herself off the counter with a groan, she noticed the sludge forming under her feet. This was bad. Really fucking bad. And as Mackenzie looked up, she saw that Jade had started making her way up the stairs first. Of course she did. “Okay, a little tough love here, but Ariadne, Ollie…you both need to move your asses now, or spend the rest of your days encased in this crap!” She knew in good conscience that if she left them there alone and something happened, she wouldn’t be able to live with herself. She was already struggling with that anyways, after all the death and destruction she had previously caused unknowingly. And while she wouldn’t openly admit it to herself (like she even had time to with the situation they were currently in), there was a part of her hoping that the goo would finally just take her to atone for all the harm she had already put out into the world.

Dodging dark sludge in a dark room would’ve been hard enough if Ollie’s world wasn’t lurching about as wildly as the whole damn building. As it was? He was just trying his best to keep down… whatever he’d eaten last. Something. At school. Hours ago. Before drowning in Wicked’s Rest had seemed so literally likely to be the death of him. God. Seriously? 

Seriously? “Tough love? Are you - Deeny,” he refocused, back to… to where Ariadne seemed to be, which was where that freaky trick of the not-light was, kaleidoscoping the blackness with red. It was nothing. Nothing like how Mack had died in the movies, whatever that meant, whatever Ariadne already knew? (What?) Nothing he was going to be fucking paralyzed by, right now. (Except for how he couldn’t feel his legs, actually. Fuck. Maybe this was a panic attack, just a different kind, crawling through his nerves like that fucking ooze was sliming its way across the tiles.) “Ariadne,” Ollie insisted, gently, but insisting all the same. “You need to go. Your parents are out there. Wynne’s out there. Okay? So, you get up those stairs, and you go home, to them. Now, like the lady said. Go go go,” he tacked on, quick. Still not-tough. Old-babysitter-solid, that’s what he was aiming for. Hopefully, by the power of their assorted bullshit combined, Mack and him would get Deeny started - and Jade, if she wasn’t totally gone already, could keep her going, all the way away. 

“I – nothing.” She wanted to sink into herself, because apparently Mackenzie hadn’t misheard her or just not heard her, and Ariadne hated herself for that. In a brief, fleeting moment of amusement, she found herself thinking that at least this was something new to hate herself for.

And now Ollie was full-naming her and she didn’t take it to mean anything like he was mad or stuff like that, but it did mean something was at least somewhat (really) serious and he was making good points about her parents and Wynne, and she really didn’t want to freak her parents out by dying for a second time. “I – fine, okay. I – I will, but only if all of you promise you’ll all make it out, and – I’m letting her go first,” Ariadne gestured to a woman who had to be around seventy. 

The woman made her way up, and Ariadne turned around to the others. “Will at least one of you come on up with me?”

The concern and care that Oliver showed for Ariadne was something Mackenzie respected. Just like the zombie, he wanted her safe. Yes, she might have just outed Mack’s secret in front of two other people, but right now it was life and death for all involved, whether or not you were actually something other than human. Most everyone had left except for her, Ariadne, Oliver, and a little old lady who seemed to be trailing behind.

“I’m gonna go check and make sure there’s no one left. I’ll be right back.” Fighting her way towards the doorway leading out to where the cots were, Mackenzie noticed that with the shift, everything had moved and the floor was almost completely covered with the goo slowly inching its way closer to the kitchen area. Quickly turning back around, Mackenzie was just about to move towards the three remaining people and usher them forward, but before she could, she felt something stop her in her tracks; a resistance, before she felt it on top of her feet slowly starting to make its way up to her ankles – the goo.

“Ariadne, Oliver…listen to me right now. You grab that woman and go. NOW.” Mackenzie’s voice held a bit more panic, but she didn’t want to let the others know she was in trouble. However, the more she fought to move, the more it started to hurt and the quicker it crept up her legs.

Wasn’t that an Ariadne-brand promise to ask for. “Absolutely. Right - right behind you.” Ollie lied, like a liar, which he… had been being, a lot, lately. Practice! He bit down and took an unsteady lean out, off the far-from-level kitchen island, to try and tell the swirling blackness of all that ooze from the also-swirling blackness of everything else. 

… and leaned right back, shuddering with the whole foundation, floor to ceiling. (Tailbone to the tip of his tongue, where he could just about taste the blood seeping through his shirt. Only, that was impossible.) His breath rattled out, fast, then rushed in, shallow. Ollie was working on the next one when Mack reappeared, a silhouette barely back-lit in exit-sign red. Like - like the horror show something-or-other she was. Shit. Did Ariadne know? (Insane. How would Deeny know about actual, real dead things that didn’t stay dead?) If she did, how was she so - okay? What the hell was wrong with him? She was going to be up there, with all those people, those edible people, and a zombie. And what could he do about that? Drag himself through the deadly sludge and hope Mack would come back for seconds instead of taking a piece out of somebody else?   

Well, better than nothing. Deeny’s parents would still kill him if she got eaten.

“Working on it.” Fighting his sweater off over that burning, bloody shoulder, Ollie loosened the laces on his shoes and pawed around the counter for - there. Some cutlery; that’d do. Time to find some ooze. He slipped into the lee of the island and nearly hit the deck, his numbish legs half-caving under him. Only half! Deep breath. Dizzily, he lobbed a spoon just ahead, into the dark; a clank. Tiles. He followed it, unsteady, focused, doing his best not to throw up his far-off lunch or his hammering heart. A fork landed with a murky splat. A couple feet to the right, a knife clanged. Progress. Everybody was headed up, and out, and yes he was going to run out of spoons to drop but he lurched out of his half-tied sneakers as they stuck and threw down that sweater to stumble the last, sludgy steps to the stairs. And if he fell up the first few, palms and shins stinging, so what. Made it. Only to stagger wildly as they all kept sinking…

She didn’t know why she wanted to push back as much as she did, but Ariadne felt like maybe she still wasn’t supposed to be the one who got out when other people risked their lives. Except that especially with Ollie around, she wasn’t going to get around and off so easily. He listened to her though, which was more than she could’ve asked for or hoped for.

Not that him listening was unexpected (because he always listened, no matter what, always), but there was just a lot going on that made it hard for her to concentrate too much on any one thing. Even as the building shook, and as Mackenzie insisted on going back to check, and Ariadne wanted to go and help too, but she figured that if she tried to insist on that, she’d just up and get a heck of a lot more pushback than she was up for hearing.

Besides, her parents would want her to come out of this, and so would Wynne, and Cass and Alex too. If for nobody else, Ariadne figured getting out so none of them freaked out too much. That, and, if she thought about it much, being at home with hot chocolate and buried under a blanket, with the knowledge that she, Mack, Jade, and Ollie had helped people. The older woman started to make her way up the ladder. “Mack? When are you coming? ‘Cause I think just about everybody’s all out… Jade, you too, right?”

Mackenzie watched as Ollie rather brilliantly made a path out of the kitchen for himself using the sound of objects hitting the floor. Even though she was currently caught up, and in a dangerous situation, she still found the time to be impressed. But more so, she was just glad that he was going and Ariadne was following suit. They would all be free, and she could sink up in the goo knowing that everyone would probably make it out.

As for her and the current predicament she was in, Mackenzie had found that the more she struggled the faster the goo rose up her legs, and at this point it had made it to her knees. There was definitely no getting out now, and instead of being a fictional film, Goo Girl was starting to feel more like a biographical piece. Thankfully, she had Ariadne’s voice to cut through the fear that was starting to well up in her, and as best she could, she remained calm not wanting to frighten the younger woman, “Yeah, I’ll be there. And, uh, I think Jade already went up. She was like one of the first ones to the top.” Cause you know, staying and actually making sure everyone was safe was too beneath her – at this point, literally.

Taking a useless, but well earned deep breath in, Mackenzie let out a long, quivering sigh. With her poor eyesight looking towards the bright red Exit sign, she watched as it flickered, knowing she was never going to make it out, and now was the time to start to say her goodbyes to those she loved in the world – her parents, Bixby, Winter, Taylor, Alex, Monty, Parker, Milo, and the other friends she had made, especially since coming to Wicked’s Rest. She thought about Brody and how, if there was an afterlife, that she had hoped she would see him again. And Elora. She thought about Elora and the possibilities she would be leaving behind, “Love you guys…”

Closing her eyes as tears rolled down her cheeks, she felt another hard shift of the building, which had caused the goo to spread up her body faster. And though she wanted to be brave, Mackenzie could feel her body shaking as the fear continued to rise making its way over her mouth, nose, eyes, and soon there was nothing, but a statue standing in the place where the zombie once was.

With the building, nearly into the ground and red Exit sign no longer apparent from the goo that rose up the steps inching closer to its next intended targets, it had just about proved successful until something happened. A loud, shrill noise had cut through the air. One that even caused the nearby animals to stop howling. Birds drop mid flight and anything in close proximity cringe and show attention to whatever thing…monster…Moose? That screaming moose that had run through Wicked’s Rest not too long ago. That had to be it. But no matter what it was. It was at the right frequency to cause a shift. To actually harm the goo. And the longer it went on the more the hardened, thick sludge began to crack and crumble.

A cement casing that had formed around everything just below the survivors, including a frozen in time Mack, slowly began to fall, which soon turned into more than just a few pieces here and there, but an avalanche of cursed ground and as the fault line made its way through the fallen building and its rooms, Mackenzie, who was surrounded by the darkness unable to move or speak for what felt like an eternity (though it had literally only been maybe like ten minutes) was soon freed leaving her to collapse to her knees, “What.. the…” She forced out the words, loosening up the goo that slid down her throat and into her lungs. And as she gathered her barings, she quickly clawed her way forwards over rubble and made her way up the remainder of the stairs as quickly as she could, until she could see light at what felt like the end of a long dark tunnel of goopy despair.

It wasn’t the breeziest of times. Nope. So not a vibe. This would totally make a terrible amusement park attraction. But despite the universe conspiring for Jade to have like, an awful time, she held onto the rails like her life depended on it (well…duh). Maybe it was her own hunter training wiring her brain differently than most people trapped with her, but she hadn’t freaked out yet. Why would she? She was a thousand percent confident they would make it out (killing her off would be like, so bad for the plot). Just like she’d been totally sure she could take on an elder vampire by herself. And sure, whatever… That one sorta backfired, but what mattered was being daring. That was the kinda attitude that got you to places. Places like, outside this building. One failure wouldn’t deter her. 

And even though she could’ve likely gotten ahead of the line by batting her eyelashes or twirling her hair, she still lingered close to the bottom of the stairs. Her attention was on the team she’d left behind. (‘Cause she was nosy. No other reason). Like, what could they possibly be wasting time on? What was that clattering noise. Did they really wanna be stuck in the goo forever? It couldn’t be good for the skin.

Finally, two of them appeared in the hallway, and Jade rolled her eyes at them in greeting. “Took ya long enough, where’s…” she grimaced at Oliver’s nasty fall, whatever badly timed quip she had ready to go dying in her tongue. Alright, jokes later. She noticed the two were accompanied by somebody else. Not Mack. And… How did she miss this granny when she was lining up people at the stairs? Her heart beat with real concern. This was going to be a problem. Like sure, Jade had the type of core strength people wrote songs about and a deceptively powerful frame only hunter genetics supplied, but little ol' lady being pulled by Oliver and Ariadne? Not so much. She doubted she could hang from the stairs the way Jade was doing. But three young adults could totally work together to ensure one frail old woman got out of the building before them, right? Totes. “Okay, um… Give her to me,” she reached down, wrapping one arm around the woman’s midsection and trusting Oliver and Ariadne to work in tandem with her. “Hi, honey…” she offered a bright smile despite the darkness they were immersed in, hoping to soothe the frazzled look on the woman. “Let’s get you further up, yeah?” With Oliver and Ariadne’s help and the intention to join forces with those ahead of them, they would get the woman closer and closer to the roof access.

That was, until an unnatural screech pierced the air. The grip she had on the woman tightened, feeling Oliver and Ariadne work along with her. Jade felt the scream deep in her bones, rattled by it, but too shocked to sink into any feelings of despair about what the sound could be preceding. Were they about to go down for real? If they were doomed then… Okay, so…The vibration, at least, felt nice once…. It became a constant. If anything, it vibrated better than her… nope. So not the time. It sure was an excellent vibration, though. The walls shook, but it wasn’t the bricks that suffered from the sound. The sludge that had been pooling below them hard like a rock, collapsed. Then it disintegrated. Jade glanced down, locking eyes with part of her team, the same confused expressions mirroring back at her. The floor grumbled beneath, likely adjusting to the lack of goo. And was that… a good or bad thing? Probably better not stay long to check, right? Some celebratory shouts came from all the way from the top, and the line started moving faster. Whew. 

Jade made sure to leave the little old lady in better hands before lowering herself to her team. She had a clear question in her mind, one that was answered even before she opened her mouth. A flash of blonde hair from her favorite arch-nemesis had Jade hooting. “That gang’s back! Now please, move your cute butts up.” 

She didn’t like the idea of leaving somebody behind, but Mack was insisting and Jade was already on her way, probably, and Ollie knew Ariadne too well for her to pull any quick sort of move. Even if she wasn’t four anymore, he probably could grab her and further insist that she climb the stupid ladder if she tried to run. So, begrudgingly, she started to make her way up, helping the old lady, grateful that Ollie and Jade also both seemed eager to help her, too. Though there was no reason to have expected any other sort of reaction, because they both seemed like really excellent people.

“I - I’m gonna move, I promise.” Ariadne scrunched up her nose, then her whole face.

– didn’t really know what else to do, since words might’ve never been her particular forte, and certainly weren’t doing her favors right at this particular moment.

If it were possible for her knuckles to get any whiter, they were, now, as she gripped the sides of the ladder, only focused on why she was bothering to get out. She wanted to live. Or live-un-live, whatever she technically did. Wynne was out there, and so were her parents. Alex and Cass. Too many other people. She needed to go and watch a ballet in as many places as she could.

Suddenly, though, Ariadne was jerked out of her thoughts by a piercing scream, one that she couldn’t even fully cover her ears, given how her hands were holding tight onto the ladder. Except then she thought she heard Mack’s voice, and whipped her head around. “You – I – you got out!” She swallowed. “I – that’s good. That’s good. We really all need to go though, now, and now we can, ‘cause you’re here.”

Just-outlined by the downtown, late-night light falling in through that so-close exit, the old lady reached ahead to take the many hands coming through the door for her. Ollie had fallen a few steps behind Deeny and Jade, clinging to the stair rail all the way and darting looks back into the pitch black, gooed-up level they were leaving - entirely unsure if he was more or less worried because he couldn’t see Mack-the-maybe-probably-zombie. As if she’d come ripping out of the darkness, all bloody drool and grasping hands, a jump scare. 

Mack, who’d helped get all these people out, when she could’ve absolutely massacred them. Except… monsters look like people all the damn time, Willa sighed, weeks ago. Act like people, too. Just look at you.

Fingers clenched a little tighter on that railing, Ollie wavered - eyes entirely on the still-sinking shadows far below them, now. Just look. She’d stood up and saved them. Where was she? He’d taken a step down, not letting go of the rail. Until a shriek broke his grip on everything, slapping his scraped-up hands to his ringing ears. It was - it had to be that kind of shriek, that kind of ringing, the kind that’d left him cold on the shore of Silver Lake. Dr. Kavanagh?

Whoever’s the first scream was, the second was his: a hoarse, frantic yelp as he unscrewed his eyes to find Mack charging up the stairs to meet them. Ollie choked that off, quick, heart hammering. “Mack! Hi! Hi. Are you - you’re okay?” Okay enough to keep not eating anyone? Ideally. 

Mackenzie was grateful for whatever that high-pitched shrill scream had been. Being afraid of the dark had never been her thing, but after being enclosed and engulfed in goo, that and a fear of tight spaces wasn’t anything she wanted to experience again anytime soon. And never in her life had she been so grateful to see a friend, a stranger, and a creep (the creep being Jade) after what felt like an eternity of being alone (again, granted it was probably only like twenty minutes. Goo was no joke).

Letting her eyes fall on each of them, and the group still crowding towards the top, a relieved smile washed over her face, but when she went to answer Oliver, instead of words coming out like they had earlier, she started to choke and cough until goo oozed out of her mouth. Mackenzie, rather than holding up the line anymore, gave him a thumbs up, before motioning for them to follow Jade’s lead and move forwards, and as they reached the top of the building, fresh air and the sound of voices reached all of them. The survivors that the group of four had escorted up had started to scream for the attention of anyone that could help them.

It had been quite a while since the Earth had shifted under their feet, but it still wasn’t the most stable of locations to be and the roof seemed to be at an angle and one that Mackenzie had wished she could warn people to be careful walking onto, but had no voice at the moment. Instead, she kept an eye on the older people and moved closer towards the edge of the building looking down at the small figures on the ground. Then the idea hit her, pulling out her phone, she was just about to switch on the flashlight, when she noticed the screen and contents of the iPhone had been cracked under the pressure of the goo. But it appeared as someone near her had picked up on the idea and soon other people did, and before she knew it, everyone had their phones lit up as a way to catch the attention of anyone who could rescue them.

Ariadne, Jade, Oliver, & Mack had done it. They had gotten an entire group of people out to safety and now it was up to whomever was waiting below to finish the job.

[effen-draws]

EFFEN! 💥

So you know how Harry thinks with his skillset, and technically Kim thinks with his notebook (or at least doesn’t necessarily consider his ‘skills’ as separate entities from himself as much as Harry would),

I’m wondering how you’d say you think!

Like do your thoughts come with a narrator? popping speech bubbles? 2010 PowerPoint slides of images? get as jiggy or serious with the explanation as youd like

Pffft— good question. I mean how do I think?

Well… the answer used to be that I thought like I was talking to some vague audience (me, designing some character: “Does this guy wear tweed? Is he a tweed freak? What a guy. Can’t believe he wears tweed”) or I would sometimes have a narrator (me, staring at a mug: “There was something about this tourist mug. Its design was bereft of soul. In that kind of way where it was clear that it was never meant to be used, just bought. It’s purpose just stand at a roadside display. Its whole design just moose after colourful moose. Boring. Blasé. Bland. And yet, Effen had a strange fondness for this ugly thing.”)

BUT the embarrassing current answer to your question would be that… Well, after I played disco elysium and began writing in that same style for my fic my thoughts have kinda taken on the skill approach of “speaking” to me. It’s very dumb tbh. But I do catch myself doing it quite a lot. Kinda hope someone else does it as well so I’m not the only weirdo. As to why I do this? Idk but maybe it’s my echolalia somehow making my thoughts mimic someone else’s?? Who knows. Let’s just blame it on the autism, that always works /j /j /j

Wait— that actually reminds me, I have another confession to make: the way I’ve written a few of Kim’s skills is actually very similar to my own “voices” (they say write what you know and I took that to heart /j). But that mostly applies to VOLTA DO MAR. Because, when I think about it, their personality and way of talking I’ve basically just taken directly from my own head. Pfft— I mean, they really feel like second nature to write for me it’s that bad. I’ve really just plastered my own thoughts onto dear ol’ Volta I guess. What can I say, I really just relate heavily to the thought of being able to keep moving on even to the detriment of myself. “Don’t linger, keep acting no matter what” and all that.

(But I promise I haven’t just applied my own voices to my version of swap!Kim’s other skills! I’m not a complete hack who doesn’t think about characterisation! But,,,,, Volta is just my own little mind guy. They’re a special, mean, little fellow who I like to think I share with Kim:-])

[twilliaquillix]

Electric Eel: type of freshwater fish from South America

Mountain Goat: in the bovidae family associated with antelopes/gazelles/cattle. the only reason it is not a 'goat' is because it isn't in the same genus as all other goats. it IS more closely related to other "goat-antellopes" such as chamois (Rupicapra), the gorals (Naemorhedus), the takins (Budorcas) and the serows (Capricornis), of Japan and eastern South Asia all of which i did not know existed before I went and started looking into why Mountain Goat Not Goat. you should look at them they're funky

Maned Wolf: not 'true' wolves, or foxes, or strange dog-like deer, they are a canine of South America. just very tall funky canines. its the only species in it's genus.

King Cobra: there are 21 species of cobras, but the king cobra is the sole member of it's genus. it's name comes from it's skill at hunting and eating cobras

Peacock Mantis Shrimp: just a very colorful shrimp-like crustacean with a big punch pow pow

Horny Toad: is lizard! named cause they are horned and also round and flat like toads kinda I guess if you squint at them

Mayfly: also known as shadflies/fishflies/Canadian Soldiers/up-winged flies; hatch and are active from like, spring to autumn, not just in May, and as someone living near a river confluence I am always happy when I actually see them around my house, cause it means the water was healthy enough to let their nymphs develop. one landed on me and chilled for a long while this summer while i was watering my yard, it was sweet- oh sorry, they're related to dragonflies/damselflies

Eastern Kingbird: not a clue why east is in it's name. they breed all over North America and migrate to Central and South America for winter, they mainly like open habitats and are territorial little shits that will be aggressive in their nest defense. like, their scientific name, Tyrannus, means tyrant/despot/king, and it was given to them for a reason, they are aggressive to each other and also you.

as for the Musk Ox, yeah, it's more closely related to sheep and goats than oxen cause it's in the same subfamily/tribe. it has it's own genus, Ovibus, latin for "sheep-ox". males are very stinky during mating season to attract females. it's Woods Cree names "mâthi-môs" and "mâthi-mostos" translate to "ugly moose" and "ugly bison", respectively, which is both amazing and hilarious to me tbh

I have just learned that Mountain Goats are NOT, in fact, actual Goats.

[primevein]

The Prime of His Youth: Book V: Where There's Smoke: Ch10: Fine

A cloud of smoke swallowed the doors. A moment later a transluscent Smokescreen walked through, with all of the cocksure pride he could muster.

"Oh, scrap!" Airachnid shouted, as Carron shot him. She then let out a great groan in her panic, and dropped her weapon.

"Oh, come on?" Smokescreen asked, "I'm not that ugly."

Carron nearly seemed in a panic.

"That's a good way to get shot!" Arcee said accusingly, as she walked up, pointing her longshot blaster in his face.

"Sorry." Airachnid said to Arcee, and Arcee gave her a questioning look. "That was your line."

"What was?" Arcee asked.

"Scrap." Stormclash and Skyburst said at the same time.

"Scrap..." Arcee quietly uttered. She then looked at Smokescreen, "Why the scrap did you?.."

"I'm being sneaky." he stated.

"By coming through the front door?!" Arcee asked him.

"By coming through the floor." Smokescreen stated.

"Then why look like you're?!.." Arcee asked, only to be cut off.

"So you can see see me coming." Smokescreen stated.

"So you can get shot?" Arcee accusingly asked.

"It was in-what-able." Smokescreen proudly said.

"Invisible." Dust Up stated.

"Invincible." Jumpstream added.

"Intagible." Sirenia said as she walked up. "But, this is a bit of a surprise."

Smokescreen gave her a curious look, "Look who's finally getting some confidence?"

Sirenia nervously looked away.

"Speak of the Devil?" Arcee accused.

"What, me?" Smokescreen asked, and she just glowered in reply. "Okay, okay, I get it. When I first came out of that pod, I was a little full of myself." he said, and paused.

"AND?" Arcee finally asked.

"I learned to give honest evaluations of battlefield strength." Smokescreen replied.

"AND?!" Arcee asked.

"It was a long and hard process, but I've come to the conclusion that I'm now as good as I thought I was."

Arcee let out an extremely loud and visible sigh. Something then occured to her, and she stood up straight, giving him a curious look.

"We were made before we made planetfall." Smokescreen stated, "Were were trying to - smoke - the Decepticons out." Arcee let out a loud groan at the pun. "Doe and Sierra are having a look at the lab. The boys are having fun in town."

* * *

Chromia looked over the piled, thankfully living bodies, as Moose Runner and Landslide dusted off their hands. "Why the scrap do I have the feeling I know who's in town?"

"We don't start fights." Landslide replied.

"Even if we do enjoy them." Moose Runner replied.

"I know..." an exhausted Chromia stated.

* * *

"I filed false reports, and lured them into fights."

"Fight - s? Arcee asked.

"The Phthia lured a number of them into an ambush."

"Where?" Arcee quickly asked.

"The Phthia." Smokescreen smugly stated.

"Where - was - the Phthia?!" Arcee accusingly asked.

"Moon Base Beta." Smokescreen quickly stated, "It was the only place they could mount a surprise attack, without any real ships."

Arcee stared at him in awe and annoyance. "I mean, you could, at least, I don't know, work out a plan?" Smokescreen just looked into her eyes with a disturbing smile. "What?" she asked.

"Have you ever met a Wrecker?" he asked, and she let out an exascerbated sigh that nearly left her crippled.

"Welcome, to our, um, house?" Japheth asked.

"No place like home?" Smokecreen asked with a bright smile, "June really did a great job with it." Japheth looked around, slowly, but with quiet admiration. "So, how are you settling in?"

"We haven't started." Arcee harshly said to him.

"Then I won't stay long." Smokescreen said. He nodded his head to Japheth, and then looked at Pyra Magna. "I'll be borrowing the Dinobots." Pyra Magna walked up to him, looking him up and down, not saying anything. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"I honestly don't know." Pyra Magna stated, "But if you think you can get them to help you, then be my guest." Arcee cleared her throat. Pyra Magna looked at her and then Japheth, "Be His guest."

"Nah." Smokescreen said, and turned to a wall, walking towards it, "I'll leave you to your alone time." He activated his phase shift as he approached the wall.

"Wait." Airachnid said with her usual mix of psychopathic zeal. He paused, and turned to look at her. She then looked at Carron, "Our little scout needs some real combat practice." She then looked at Smokescreen.

Smokescreen thought it over for a moment. He then looked at Japheth, who simply gave him a nervous look in reply. He then looked to Arcee, whom glared, and then Pyra Magna. Pyra Magna looked at Arcee, and then Japheth. "If you think she can be trusted on her own, I would agree with her."

Japheth looked lost as all eyes were on him. He tried to breathe deeply, but faltered when he failed. He steeled himself and stood up as tall as he could manage without the confidence to back it up. He looked at Arcee, and she gave him a look of absolute trust and hatred at the same time, a seething, calm, quiet fury. He then looked back to Pyra Magna and then Airachnid, "I agree."

Pyra Magna looked Smokescreen, and then at Airachnid, "You should be on your best behaviour."

"She might want to try a bit harder than that." Arcee said, barely containing her seething rage.

"Oh, come on?" Airachnid asked with wicked glee, "I've been an angel. Fully reformed."

"You only do that because you are afraid that Ja..." she said, and looked at Japheth, and paused.

"I didn't say WHY I was on my best behavious." Airachind said, looking at the claws on her right hand. She then looked back at Arcee, "But, being away from Him doesn't change my motivation."

"You're saying you won't betray him?!" Arcee harshly asked.

"He is quite - elusive." Airachnid said elusively, looking at Smokescreen. She then looked back at Arcee, "Chances are, if I, say, returned to my previous form of entertainment, I'm sure He would get a report out. Everything I've worked for over the past Megacycle would be lost."

"And you just care sooo much of being loved?" Arcee harshly asked.

"Loved?" Airachnid visciously asked, right claws tapping her chin. "Is that what this is?"

Arcee let out a harsh utterance and Japheth tightly hugged her from behind. "Fine." Arcee harshly said, only to nearly jump from joy as he kissed her cheek.

Smokescreen looked to the back of the house, "Let's head out the back door."

"The back?" Arcee asked, "DOOR?!" She looked at the back of the house before looking back to Smokescreen, "It backs into a stone cliff."

"Luckily, that's not a problem for me." Smokescreen confidently replied, and Arcee just sighed.

* * *

Golden Hind carried Sierra up to the console and put her down. "So, what were you looking for?"

"Hm?" Sierra asked, and looked up back at her, "Everything, really." She looked back towards the console as she hooked up her tablet. "I wasn't here last time, and an amazing amount happened in that time."

"We have the records, don't we?" Golden Hind asked.

"Do, we, Doe?"

"You're not saying?.."

"Nothing so dramatic." Sierra simply replied. She looked up at her and gave her a bright smile, "But that doesn't mean there wasn't data in various parts of the system."

"When did you get so good at Cybertronian systems?.."

Sierra gave her a curious, but friendly look, "Yes?" Golden Hind looked shyly away, "Although it's probably because I had no idea what I was doing." She then turned back to her tablet, "You've spent your entire - long - so long - life using Cybertronian systems. I literally had no idea what I was doing."

"But you?.." Golden Hind asked.

"Had a lot of free time while Smokie was saving the world." she said, and turned to look up at Golden Hind, "Two. Or what are we up to, four?"

"Four." Golden Hind affirmed.

"Tell me, Doe..."

"Do you have to call me that?" Golden Hind pleaded.

"Doe." Sierra addressed her. Golden Hind could see the love in her eyes. "They love you."

"Who does?" Golden Hind asked.

"Like a little sister." Sierra added, "You work too hard not being cute."

"I what?" Golden Hind nervously asked.

"You're afraid that if you are too cute, they won't respect you." Sierra replied, "But they love you, as a little sister."

"You say I swear all of the time because I want to be cute?" Golden Hind asked.

"You swearing all of the time IS cute, because of how adorable you are. It's adorable how much you struggle to get their attention."

"Oh, slag off."

"I know how much you love me." Sierra stated.

"Well, you are, like, our princess." Golden Hind stated, and a pregnant pause followed, "Okay, what IF I want to wear girly dresses?"

"It might get in the way of combat." Sierra stated, "Maybe something more modern? Like what Arcee and the others wear?"

A pregnant pause followed, as Golden Hind got more and more irritable "Alright, fine, I admit it."

"Excellent!" Sierra cheerfully said to her.

[37-children-of-the-dreams]

Oh, I got Core Tech Dragonburn and UFO Monsuno, skysite. They're amazing! Skysite damn good.

Also, wanted to tell you about my fist monsuno set and until now was also only set. It's base Core Tech set, Glowblade, Lock, Charger and Quickforce. Actually, my feelings was like wtf is this. Lock, I liked him most, cause I thought it was white tiger, and I really like white tigers, and I was really dissapointed when I found out it was bear. Charger, meh, moose with giant horns and big smile. Quickforce... skinny griffin with disgusting bird face and goat horns, because of his skinny body he really looked like a ugly goat to me. And finally, Glowblade. This satan animal is a piece of scary crap. I mean, not very cute three headed snake with it's ribs ripped out of it and pointed to sides. I mean, this shit is meh no, thanks.

I mostly liked Nightstone and Blackbullet, but only got Blackbullet. I didnt knew about other monsunos at that moment, and now I also have boost, x-100, Demise, Ironjaw, Backslash, Driftblade, Skysite and Dragonburn, but actually, if in my old childish eyes, Dragonburn, Backslash and Driftblade looks not good, they're scary shit. Especcially Dragonburn. He makes his work of scary Dino chicken.

That’s so cool that you got so many Monsuno figures! I like the fact that they range from childish looking to downright creepy since that’s what makes a toy line versatile, having a range of monster you want to pet or want to run from.

And the fact your first pack was Team Core Tech’s main Monsunos is really cool. Though, I also kinda thought Lock looked little bit like a tiger than bear at times, but that might be because Lock is part tiger. Charger is just Charger, but like that’s how you know it’s him. Also, it ain’t Quickforce’s fault he looks like an anorexic goat, that’s on the toy makers! And Glowblade has to be scary, he’s a THREE headed snake, you think two-headed snakes are bad, imagine three heads and that’s how you know Beyal got the scariest Monsunos in Team Core Tech.

[primordialgod]

;;headcanon

She has spent countless years visiting versions Europe during late antiquity and medieval times. Because of that, she doesn't really speak/think/act like someone raised in the 21st century anymore.

A few examples:

She tends to use older words. She slips into the older forms of most languages without meaning to or noticing most of the time.

She hates packaged foods, foods with lots of preservatives, anything from a can, all sodas, etc. It literally makes her sick.

She hates individualism, capitalism, consumerism, the urban sprawl/suburbia, the modern day workforce/grind and hustle attitude, the nuclear family unit being considered the only 'correct' family setup, basically everything about the U.S.A., social media, modern day beauty standards, etc. She's always disliked those things but overtime has grown to hate it all. She also thinks the Protestant Reformation, the Enlightenment, and the Industrial Revolution were steps in the wrong direction.

She hates Henry VIII because he was responsible for the dissolution of monasteries.

Her favorite Byzantine Emperor is John II Komnenos.

She met Charlemagne on an alternate version of Earth and set him on fire. She killed him because he had an ugly soul (he ordered the massacre of 4,500 Saxons in October 782). He died thinking she was an avenging angel.

She has and will fight the Vatican and the Pope. She's killed a few Popes in several alternate universes. She personally killed Pope Urban II (known as Odo of Châtillon) before raiding the Vatican; he's the Pope who began the Crusades. She has killed many of the principal leaders of the Crusades.

One of the very few popes she actually does like is Pierre Roger / Pope Celment VI. He was the pope during the Black Plague and tried to make people stop blaming Jewish people for the plague.

She'll defend medieval times. She'll correct people's misconceptions of the middle ages. Doesn't matter who you are, if you say something wrong about medieval times she'll be ready to fight.

A few examples:

If someone claims people in the "dark ages" / Early Middle Ages were stupid (they're called the "dark ages" because we don't have many records or primary sources from the time period). People were always learning things, building things, and making discoveries. Or if someone claims that the Church was against education/science (both were supported! monastic schools and cathedral schools were a thing. look up trivium (grammar, logic, rhetoric) and quadrivium (arithmetic, astronomy, music, geometry). medieval universities came after monastic and cathedral schools.

(everything below is mostly either copy-pasted from various sites or taken from the book Daily Life in the Middle Ages by Paul B. Newman)

The idea that people didn't bathe. It is a commonly repeated belief that bathing was considered sinful during the Middle Ages. This is not entirely true; what the Church disapproved of was not bathing, but bathhouses, which were holdovers from the Roman Empire, and not without reason. In Greek and Roman times, bathing was a social activity when people would go to public bathhouses and gymnasiums not just to keep clean, but to relax, socialize with peers, and also to engage in prostitution. These were seen as places of decadence, with opponents describing them as brothels in all but name (and this being Ancient Rome and Greece, would have involved homosexuality as well). The fact is many people in the Middle Ages did bathe, but mostly at home or in streams. It was actually after the Middle Ages in the supposedly "enlightened" Renaissance and the Early Modern Period that bathing and hygiene standards declined.

In Russia, where the forests were so abundant that even now there are moose on the prowl in downtown Moscow sometimes, the concept of weekly bathing pretty much never died. It was one of the reasons why the Black Death outbreaks were relatively weak there. Well, that and the general lack of enormous concentrations of people in the filthy cities — Russian cities always were more spread out.

That and the climate was not friendly to the primary disease vector, the Oriental Rat Flea, which required a warmer climate, even during the Medieval Warm Period, when the Black Death occurred.

The misconception that women had no rights. Women could inherit, buy and sell property, run a business, and had many legal rights. The vast majority of people in the Middle Ages worked the land, and women were just as active as men in agricultural activities. But we do know of women who were also writers, artists, and active as tradespeople in a family business. Women could be educated. Noblewomen and nuns, in particular, had access to books and were often literate. Women were also trained in domestic skills like sewing. However, education for both women and men tended to be limited to the upper classes and the clergy.

Some medieval buildings such as palaces, monasteries, and some houses in the cities did have plumbing systems with leaden pipes and bronze taps that provided running water. A few even had boilers to provide flowing hot water. These buildings also usually had sanitation systems, including indoor latrines. However, many buildings, including most private residences, did not have these features and their occupants had to draw and carry their water from wells and rivers. If they needed hot water, they had to heat it up in a cauldron or other large cooking pot. As for waste removal, they had to use outhouses or, in towns and cities, communal latrines rather than en suite facilities. Thus, in those buildings in which plumbing was minimal or nonexistent, the residents relied on pitchers, pans, wooden tubs, and buckets rather than on permanent fixtures such as water faucets, sinks, and bathtubs for conveying and containing water needed for cooking and cleaning.

The Roman technique of constructing raised flooring and using the space underneath the floor (called a hypocaust) as a conduit for warm air from furnaces disappeared with the collapse of the empire. In most of Europe, people resorted to using braziers (small charcoal or wood-burning grills made of metal or pottery) or open hearths or fire pits constructed in the middle of the ground floor. Drafts through the buildings appear to have prevented dangerous accumulations of carbon monoxide, and smoke from fires filtered out of the building through hole in the ridge of the roof. These vents were often fitted with louvered caps on the outside of the roof to keep the rain and wind out. These vents were limited use in clearing the smoke out of the building since they lacked a chimney to contain and guide the smoke from the fire to the outside. [yes they tried to fix this but this post is getting too long so i'll stop here]

[asterwild]

[Image description: Digital illustration of muskoxen. One is in the foreground coming towards the viewer, while a herd runs across the background.]

Muskox (Ovibos moschatus) are a species of bovid native to the Arctic. They’ve been here a while: muskox are one of North America’s few surviving Pleistocene megafauna.

Their English name comes from the musky odor males emit during rut, while their name in Inuktikut, ᐅᒥᖕᒪᒃ, umingmak, means “bearded one.”

[vault--of--amber]

the crows are so much funnier than the fandom give them credit for

here are just SOME of the funniest moments throughout the books

“….you can find your way to Ravka or Matthias’ grandmother’s house for all i care” “leave my grandmother out of this”

obviously the ghost scene

pay someone to pay someone to pay someone to

“you speak Fjerdan about as well as i speak moose” “moose is probably your native tongue”

‘Had they blown up the lab? Kaz had definitely NOT told them to blow up the lab’

The deadpan ‘He had not been shot’

Kaz trying to justify his decision if bringing Wylan along to the rest of the crows: “ i told you, ✨hidden depths✨” “see Jesper, ✨marketable skillz✨”

‘“You all look so young, where are your parents?” Wylan and Jesper burst out laughing’

“This many people having fun in one place might have shocked the Fjerdan right out of you”

“I.Should.Let.You.Die”

Nina trying to bring Kaz back: “The Ice Court, remember? 3 million kruge?” Kaz’s eyes cleared. “4 million”

“You couldn’t look guiltier if you were performing the role of Thief #3 in a penny play on East Stave”

“Who wants to buy i coat in the dead on night?” “Tourists”

“Tiny and Ferocious, just like you”

“Unless you have a unicorn for him to ride away on, there is no scenario that guarantees Kuwei’s safety”

‘They could fake a pregnancy. They couldn’t fake an actual birth. Or maybe they could, he wouldn’t put anything past Kaz at this point”

“He has a very soothing baritone”

‘“I’d prefer a pair of sable-lined swimming trunks, but we can’t always get what we want” A furrow appeared between Kuwei’s brows. His understanding of Kerch had apparently been reached and surpassed’

The Wyvil

Matthias thinking they should just let Nina and Jesper flirt the entirety of Ketterdam into submission

That MASTERPIECE of a scene where Jesper and Kaz have a random petty fistfight, and all the other crows literally move out of the way, and then when Wylan tries to get someone to stop them they just shrug and go ‘I mean they aren’t using their weapons let them fight it out’ and THEN Colm coming him and scolding them and both of them IMMEDIATELY stopping

“Whatever you say, Llewelyn”

Nina’s singing

Wylan and Kaz falling through the ceiling onto Van Eck’s dinner party will ALWAYS be iconic

Kaz’s chapters in general are absolutely HILARIOUS, but my personal favorite is when he’s depending on Matthias Not Betraying them, and he thinks something like this:

‘Either he was right and Matthias’ feeling for Nina would prove enough, or Kaz was about to pay for all those talking tree jokes’

The talking tree jokes in question

The initiation ceremony where the tree teaches you the secret handshake

‘His first thought was that this boy had the most beautiful lips he’d ever seen, and his second was that he was probably about to die’ Wylan honey we’ve got to talk about your priorities

“Is it that bad?” “No, you just have really ugly feet”

That scene at the start of Six of Crows where Van Eck has Kaz tied to a chair and is explaining what he needs, and then is explaining why he needs Kaz specifically, talking about how his De Kappel painting was stolen which is a really impressive feat, while Kaz is vehemently denying that he had anything to do with it although it was obviously him

Wylan being passive aggressive while Jesper is trailing after him trying to apologize for the Kuwei thing

“Can’t we just enter as performers? I hear Wylan really kills it on the flute”

Inej getting Nina’s cookie jar after she gets back and Jesper being offended that he didn’t get to take some

Nina making fun of Kaz’s haircut

“Is my tie straight?”

That’s all I can think of for now, i’m sure there’s more so if you think of something feel free to add on

[actualcoolbugfacts]

✨cool bug facts's✨

It's Megatron's birthday!!!!

This is Megatron from Transformers: Micron Legend, the English name for the show is Transformers Armada. He is designed after a stag beetle. He kickstarted my spiral into obsession with entomology.

Technically, we don't know when his birthday is, but we do know that December 1st is the birthday of the Megatron seen below.

He is not designed after an insect, but he is very cool.

I want to talk about Micron Legend Megatron's design. Firstly, he is not a moose or reindeer. Thrust at one point says "I told you not to call me that, you stag beetle." and Hotshot refers to him as a 'stag beetle head' (they do not call him this in the English dub).

Secondly, his left hand resembles a female stag beetle's, being very large and having very sharp fingers, while his right hand looks like the rest of the character's hands.

Thirdly, he has an abnormally small head, like a female stag beetle, while he has the mandibles of a male stag beetle.

In the sequel series, Superlink (Energon in the English dub), he is entirely based off a female stag beetle (besides the fact that he doubled in height since the last series).

He is a very cool Megatron.

Other cool Megatron's include;

G1 Megatron 1984

Thoughts about him;

If I remember correctly, in 'The Secret of Omega Supreme', it's said that he was built to be machine of destruction, to think about nothing but destroying anything that stands in his path. Does that mean he can't properly think for himself?

In episode 16 of season 3 'Webworld', he goes to therapy, gets some awful therapists who are essentially going to kill him and then give him a new processor as it's the only way to cure him. He manages to escape and then blows up their planet.

Edit from several days later, December 9th 2022 (this was posted on December 1st 2022).

It was not the secret of Omega Supreme that said that, that was said in 'The Five Faces of Darkness', which is a 5-part series that starts off season 3.

G2 Megatron 1993

Thoughts about him;

Underappreciated. He's just a little bit ugly but he deserves some love too. He can't get any love from Kiloton anymore, as he's dead.

Also he's apparently in a relationship with this guy called Kiloton, you don't really see him much in the comics, his name isn't even said, but he caused Megatron to start a second war, this time on the humans, after they killed him. He also doesn't get enough love.

Speaking of Kiloton, the Megatron who's birthday it is? In one comic he was shown in a bar showing off his poetry to this guy called Impactor. It would later be stated that Impactor's old name was Kiloton.

Beast Wars Megatron 1996

Thoughts about him;

As much as it may have already been said about him, I would like to reiterate that he is Barney the dinosaur. If not, then a relative of Barney the dinosaur.

His voice actor (David Kaye) would go on to voice beetle Megatron in the English dub of Micron Legend. By voicing Optimus Prime in the 2007 series Transformers: Animated, He would become the first voice actor to have voiced both Megatron and Optimus Prime in their career.

He is also referred to as the Queen by a character called Inferno, which makes for one of my favorite lines from the franchise.

(For context, Dinobot left the Predacons at the start of the series, and has now returned to them for the time being.)

Megatron: Inferno, aid Quickstrike.

Inferno: Yes, my queen.

Dinobot: I was not aware you had given yourself a new title.

Car robots/Robots in Disguise Gigatron/Megatron 2001

I'm including him in the Megatron section, despite the fact that he's called Gigatron in the original dub, because the English dub is more popular than the Japanese dub, meaning he is more recognized as Megatron than Gigatron. I will be referring to him as Gigatron as I haven't watched the English dub.

Thought about him;

He's kind of plain? But I still enjoyed watching him do stuff. Just causing a little bit of mayhem for no good reason. And I also just love his personality. He has issues and I lowkey kind of relate. Not to the whole killing people to get what he wants, but him just trying not to lose it while broadcasting to a bunch of people about how he's going to blow up a dam but it keeps not working so he keeps having to call Gel-Shark (English name; Skyebyte) to find out what's happening.

Also, there was an episode where he put on drag and then got catcalled by an Autobot who didn't recognize him.

Unicron trilogy Megatron/Galvatron 2004

This is the same guy as beetle Megatron, from Micron Legend's sequel series Superlink, which came out in 2005. His new name is Galvatron. In the English dub he isn't called Galvatron until he gets an upgrade that turns him purple.

Thoughts about him;

As previously stated, he is designed after a female stag beetle despite being referred to as a man. I am in full support of this.

He also has this guy called Shockfleet (English name; Mirage) that nicknamed him 'Gal-sama'. 'Sama' being a Japanese honorific for someone you worship.

He's very silly. Goofy, might I add.

This is Master Megatron from the third series in the trilogy, Galaxy Force, which came out in 2006.

Thoughts about him;

He isn't a stag beetle. I am fuming.

He looks like he's wearing a crop top and cowboy pants with overalls. And he has these spiky goth knee-high boots on.

The reason why his left arm is so wack-looking is because he's powerlinked with Dark Ligerjack, who is essentially his cat that attaches to his left arm.

Dark Ligerjack's name sucks so I called him Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Ravenway every time I had to refer to him.

Transformers IDW1 Megatron 2005

That's this guy. Happy birthday my guy.

He is very cool. If you can, I would very much recommend that you read the IDW series, specifically the one that ran between 2005 to 2018. Just to differentiate because there is a recent IDW series that came out in 2019. The series is very long and therefore expensive, so there is a good chance that someone would not be able to read it. And if they can they will probably get lost trying to figure out which comic they're supposed to be on. Just skip Spotlight: Arcee, that story was retconned, and is very offensive.

Thoughts about him;

This may start a fight, but you are not supposed to forgive him for everything he's done just because he went to therapy and made a vow to never kill anyone again. He says this himself, that it may be cruel, but with everything he's done, and the billions of people he's killed, he deserves to be executed. You're supposed to feel sympathetic towards him though, and you are supposed to feel sad when he dies. But you never even think about the people who he killed because you never had a chance to get to know most of them, because even with how long this series is, it isn't long enough to tell the stories of billions of people. Someone's life is much longer than the amount of time it takes to kill them. Not to mention the brutal ways in which he killed them. The comics, I feel, make it known that you shouldn't forgive him, and frequently remind you about the things he's done, while still making you understand what his viewpoint and what his mental health was like to cause him to spiral.

And it all leads back to that the Functionist council should have never existed in the first place. While most people that the council ruined the lives of didn't turn out like Megatron, a lot of them died or were forced to live in awful conditions, and the one's that did protest would be greatly overshadowed by the actions of Megatron, essentially making it so that those people had to join his murder spree to even feel like they are free. But trapped in the echo chamber that was the Decepticon cause at this time, I would argue they weren't really free. Megatron could kill any of them at his whim, and he would, and he has.

He came to a point where all sentient live besides his own had no meaning to him. His actions eventually caught up to him, and with that, he realized that he isn't someone who can be expected to mingle with the people who he's hurt without them complaining or being scared of him.

And he somehow accepted that better than some people who read these comics.

Anyway very cool Megatron.

Transformers Animated Megatron 2007

Thoughts on him;

Haha jet go brr

To me, he just kind of feels like the default Megatron. I like him and all, but he feels a bit too generic. I really don't have that much to say about him.

Prime Megatron 2012

To be honest, Prime is one of the few shows I haven't watched yet.

He looks silly though/affectionate.

Earthspark Megatron 2022

To be honest I haven't watched that many of the newer shows/comics, so I'm skipping to Earthspark.

Thoughts about him;

Only 10 out of 26 episodes have come out, so I can't say very much about him. But I do feel hopeful that they are going somewhere good with his storyline.

I will point out, his storyline is a pretty heavy-handed jab at police brutality and jail conditions, but it is a nice surprise for the fact that this show aired on Nickelodeon.

Also, and this may controversial, but when I first saw him, both me and my brother (doux-mirages) talked about how he's the ugliest Megatron.

He is a very cool Megatron though.

[lizardywizard]

i've always been fascinated with the idea of, specifically, species transition as an acknowledged medical need. poof TFs and TFs that last for a scene don't interest me nearly so much as the process.

for me, i think it's the social affirmation aspect of it. the idea that i could see a doctor for this and they would consider it a real thing. touching my face in the mirror, noting each new scale, relieved by how every time i look at my face there's a little more snout, it's a little more square. laughing about how i look like one of those ugly mid-TF forms where they've got the shape but it's still pink flesh, thinking about posting that in the dragon group chat, then realising that would be mean actually, to them as well as myself. they're all going through the process too after all, and i don't think any less of them for how they look.

no, they're all more beautiful than ever, now that it's finally happening. i'm seeing nervous smiles and managed angles turning into silly, casual selfies, people more willing to just fire off a fun shot without fear. i see more pictures of people hanging out with their friends, in person, now that people are more comfortable being themselves. we're augmenting our looks with feathers, makeup, costumes. i can go to a therian comedy club where scruffy otters and bears who are turning into literal martens and moose crack wise about getting their shots. i exist in the world; there is a place for me, as someone growing and changing alongside a visible community.

that trans dog comic i reblogged got in my head so hard that it took a bit for me to remember that dog hrt isn't actually real

[no-fate-but-what-we-make]

Mistletoe Kiss | Reggie Mantle

[gif is not mine; all credit goes to the creator]

Pairing: Reggie Mantle x Fem!Reader

Description: It’s Christmas time in Riverdale, which means it’s the Lodge’s annual Christmas party, and a kiss under the mistletoe with Reggie yields surprising results.

Warnings: underage drinking, mentions of sex at a party

Word Count: 2K

A/N: Takes place mid-season 4, as that’s all I’ve seen of the show at the moment

- - -

The Vince Guaraldi Trio’s version of O Tannenbaum played softly throughout Apartment 330 at The Pembrooke, adding the finishing touch to the Christmas atmosphere both inside and outside.

You shrugged out of your warm faux-fur winter coat, taking care to brush the snowflakes out of your hair - beauty had its price, and that meant no hat or Snuggs to keep your feet warm. Beside you, Reggie handed his own jacket to Smithers who then retreated to hang them up. 

“Champagne?” A cocktail waitress asked, seemingly appearing out of nowhere.

“Thank you.” You smiled, grabbing a flute off the tray and taking a demure sip. Reggie followed suit and the two of you started making the rounds at the party.

“I’m so glad you two could make it!” Veronica gushed, bringing both you and Reggie in for a hug, her own glass of champagne in her hand that you knew was far from her first.

“I made Reggie pick me up ‘cause there was no way in hell I was driving in all that snow.”

You could practically feel Reggie’s chest puff up at your compliment. “Bella and I are always down to save a damsel in distress.”

Both you and Veronica laughed, but you knew there was more history behind hers. While you and Reggie had always just been friends, you were well aware of the feelings between Reggie and Veronica. It was no secret that Reggie was still hung up on her even though Veronica and Archie were trying to make their relationship work for the umpteenth time. You had managed to convince Reggie to come to this party tonight, if only to try to help him move on, but even now you weren’t sure that was going to happen.

“Where’s everyone else?” You asked, hoping to break the awkward silence.

“Check over by the tree.” Veronica pointed with her champagne flute. 

Reggie placed his hand on your lower back as the two of you made your way over to the elaborately-decorated Christmas tree, and you couldn’t help enjoying the contact. His touch was warm and solid, and it reminded you of just how single you were. You took a big gulp of your champagne, trying to relay to your brain that the hand on your back was that of your friend and nothing more. 

“You’re here!” Betty hugged you tightly in greeting while Reggie dapped up Archie and Jughead. You gave Cheryl a small smile, both of you nodding at the other as your own form of hello. 

“You’re all welcome - I had to promise to pick her up to even get her to consider coming to this,” Reggie joked, making you playfully swat at his arm when everyone laughed. “Am I wrong, though?”

“Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Jug just put snow tires on his motorcycle today.” Betty rested her head on her boyfriend’s shoulder. “Up ‘til this morning, I’d forgotten those even existed.”

You were about to open your mouth to say something when Moose and Kevin came out of the bathroom looking disheveled. Moose fixed the collar of his shirt while Kevin was busy rearranging his far-from-ugly Christmas sweater. 

“Make sure to, uh, mind the mistletoe,” Kevin murmured, a blush tinging his cheeks as he and Moose shared a look but staunchly refused eye contact with anyone else.

“Where is it?” Jughead gave a look of his own to Betty and you didn’t even want to think about what the two of them were planning for later.

“Above the fireplace. Odd choice if you ask me, but I’m sure the Lodges don’t want people making out all over their property.”

“As someone who just got done doing a little more than making out on the Lodge’s property with you, I can’t say I blame them - even if it was fun as hell,” Moose teased, making Kevin blush an even darker shade of red.

Everyone laughed at that, and you could finally feel the champagne starting to kick in. You placed your empty glass onto a tray when the next waiter came by and picked up another along the way. Appetizers were all around but nothing was appealing to you yet, and you were happy to sip champagne with your friends.

- - -

“I have an idea,” you whispered to Reggie after you’d caught him staring at Archie and Veronica for the tenth time in five minutes. “It’s crazy, but just hear me out.”

“Oh, boy, I’m gonna regret this, aren’t I?” Reggie rolled his eyes, grabbing some pigs in a blanket for each of you.

“Probably.” You took a bite of the food, happy to finally have something in your stomach after two and a half glasses of champagne. “I think…you should kiss me under the mistletoe.”

Reggie’s eyes were wide when he turned to face you. “I’m already regretting this, but go on.”

“You want Veronica, but she’s with Archie, right? So, let’s make her jealous. If it doesn’t work, we can blame it on the alcohol or pretend it never happened. But if it does, we can show her that you’ve moved on and it could force her to face her feelings for you if she thinks she can’t string you along anymore.”

“Hmm.” Reggie thought about it as he chewed his food, looking over at Veronica and Archie again. Archie had just said something to make Veronica laugh, and you could see Reggie’s jaw clench as he watched her lean into her current boyfriend. “Meet me under the mistletoe in five minutes?”

Your stomach dipped at the question as you nodded. “Five minutes.”

It turned out to be reasonably easy to get yourself over to the fireplace. Your holly green sweater dress was warm but the v neck and three-quarter length sleeves coupled with strappy heels and without tights was enough to leave you shivering and with an excuse to warm up. 

Some trays of cookies had been set out and you took it upon yourself to grab one of the red and green sprinkled sugar cookies, happy with the texture when you bit into it. 

Just as you were about to pick up another cookie after polishing the first one off, you felt a hand on your shoulder spinning you around. You sucked in a breath as your palms landed on Reggie’s chest. “Is Veronica looking?”

“Guess we’ll find out.”

You didn’t have time to think after that, Reggie’s lips colliding with yours in a kiss that took your breath away. His hand splayed out across your lower back, making sure you were flush against him; his other hand cupped your face gently before possessively gripping the back of your neck. You clutched at his bicep, unsure where to put your hands without causing even more of a scene than you were sure you and Reggie were causing with such a public kiss. 

The kiss ended much sooner than you wanted it to - a realization that surprised you. Reggie stared back at you in shock and you were sure the same expression had to be mirrored on your face. 

“Hold on,” you murmured, reaching for his lips to wipe away your lipstick that had transferred. “There.” You cleared your throat, looking away and staunchly refusing to make eye contact.

“Thanks.” Reggie looked over in Veronica’s general direction and you did the same, noting how upset she looked before excusing herself to her bedroom. 

“What are you waiting for?” You asked when Reggie seemed to hesitate. “Go talk to her.”

“Are you gonna be okay?”

Your stomach dipped at the caring tone in his voice and it took everything in you to nod your head. “Uh, yeah, of course.” You couldn’t help but stare longingly at Reggie’s retreating form as he chased after Veronica.

“Oh my god. What was that kiss?!” Betty whispered, sidling up to you and handing you a mug of boozy hot chocolate. “I didn’t know you and Reggie were together!”

“Thanks.” You took a sip, hoping the warmth would soothe your racing heartbeat. “We’re not. Uh, together, I mean.”

Betty gave you a look. “You don’t have to lie to me - I can keep a secret. You don’t kiss a friend like that. And besides, I’ve always suspected you and Reggie had feelings for each other; this just confirms it.” You must have given her a skeptic look because she continued, “You look at him the way I used to look at Archie before I figured out we weren’t compatible like that, but something tells me you and Reggie are the opposite of me and Archie.”

“Well, that kiss was just to see if Veronica still wanted him, so I don’t think your theory is correct.”

“Guess we’ll see about that.” Betty smirked as both of you watched Reggie stormed out of Veronica’s bedroom with her in tow. 

A wave of guilt hit you as you realize that you probably just broke up Archie and Veronica while also letting Reggie get rejected by his ex. 

“We’re leaving,” Reggie growled, taking you by the elbow and practically dragging you to the front door where Smithers magically had your coats ready to go. The valet had Bella waiting, too, and you started to get suspicious at the timing of all of it but the serious look on Reggie’s face silenced you. 

The drive back to your house was quiet, not even Christmas music coming from the radio to drown out your racing thoughts. Reggie stared straight ahead, white-knuckling the steering wheel on the freshly snow-plowed roads. 

Reggie shut off the engine in front of your house but neither of you made a move to get out. 

“So,” you said into the silence, “how did your talk with Veronica go?”

The muscle in Reggie’s jaw clenched again and desire shot through you as you remembered what it felt like to kiss him under the mistletoe. “It was…eye-opening.”

“What does that mean?” 

“It means she and I talked and she told me some things that I needed to hear.”

“Things like…?” You were even more confused, and now you were starting to shiver as the warm air began to dissipate with the engine off. 

Reggie let out a sigh, leaning his head back on the headrest and closing his eyes for a moment. “Things like how she and Archie are focusing on their relationship and how she and I are over for good…and how apparently it’s obvious to everyone but you and me that we have feelings for each other.”

Now it was your turn to be too stunned to speak. Part of you wanted to laugh at the absurdity of the statement, but another part of you knew that laughing wasn’t the right call here. “And she was serious?!”

Reggie looked over at you and your eyes met his for the first time since you two had left the party. “It’s Veronica - of course she was serious.”

The look on his face was too intense for you but you didn’t look away this time, your fingers playing with the skirt of your dress as a distraction. “Reggie…”

“I know, I know. Veronica is wrong, the kiss was a mistake. I know.”

“I wasn’t going to say that.” You wanted to reach for him so badly, but stopped yourself. “I…felt something when we kissed. I didn’t think I was going to when I suggested it but I haven’t stopped thinking about it.”

Silence engulfed the car once again, and this time you couldn’t stand it. You reached for your bag and opened the door, shutting it behind you as you got out and made your way to the front door. You could hear Reggie shout your name, the sound of his own car door shutting as he chased after you in the snow.

You paused at the door to rummage through your bag for your keys and it was at that point that Reggie caught up to you. He was out of breath, his cheeks pink from the cold. “I can’t stop thinking about that kiss, either. Can we try again, just us?”

All you could do was nod as you stepped closer to him. “Kiss me again, Reggie,” you whispered, winding your arms around his neck as he leaned down to kiss you.

[itskicks]

*blows you up * Thoughts on albedo being yandere over a moose? Please I beg of you I need this to *muffled sound * please please please help I'm being killed help 🤭

this got a little long bc i was so inspired by this prompt!! thank you so much for this ask!

It’s around the springtime (though on Dragonspine that doesn’t mean much) when Albedo knocks on your door and coaxes you out of your cabin to enjoy a stroll with him, gazing lovingly at you with his big, watery eyes.

“It’s a nice, sunny day,” he mumbles as he wraps one long, red scarf around both of your necks, ensuring you would have to stay by his side throughout your walk to keep the article of clothing secured. “Perfect for a quiet walk enjoying the scenery, don’t you think?”

It’s always very literally deathly cold on Dragonspine without some sort of heating device nearby, but you don’t want to contradict him when he’s trying to be romantic so you just smile. “It’s a sweet idea, Albedo.”

He pulls his gaze away from your face, smiling to himself at the already apparent success of his date idea. “I’ll make sure it’s worth it, I promise. There’s something not too far from here that I’ve been working on that I think you’ll enjoy.”

As soon as he’s done tying your scarf the two of you are off walking towards whatever surprise Albedo has cooked up for you, casually trudging through a good foot of snow with your arms tightly linked.

It’s a bit of a trial trying to keep from pulling away from him on the journey. Albedo’s boney little elbow keeps jabbing you in the side, even through both of your multiple layers of clothing. It’s okay, though. It hurts a bit, but Albedo’s warm enough to make up for it.

Plus he might start silently weeping again like the last time you triggered his abandonment issues by going out to buy the two of you breakfast without waking him when he spent the night two weeks ago.

As the two of you continue through the snow, occasionally stopping to gather any useful herbs or ore you see on the way, you begin to notice that the path up the mountain might have more trees than it did the last time you walked through here.

It starts with a few extra dead trees lining the stone path -- seems Albedo shoveled out the snow beforehand (or got Timaeus to do it) -- then a handful of new trees, these standing a little less barren with a modest amount of green leaves sprouting from their branches. More and more until the path is being flanked by gorgeous, flowering trees that arch above your heads as if to hold each others’ hands, white and lilac petals falling around you delicately.

You slap a hand over your mouth, staring in awe at the beautiful scenery. Though it’s not ideal that he’s introduced an invasive species to Dragonspine’s already harsh environment, you’re touched by the sentiment, a single tear managing to roll down your cheek before you quickly compose yourself.

You turn to look at him and he’s already got his eyes trained to the ground, that stupid little frog like grin back on his face in anticipation for praise.

“Albedo, this is so beautiful... How on earth did you do this? What kind of trees are these?”

“Ah. They’re trees I developed especially for you, Y/N.” He pulls out his sketchbook from his inventory and starts showing you the pages of previous designs and notes on their molecular structure. Or something. You’re not much of an alchemist, so can’t really understand much of it, but the pictures are pretty. “I designed them to be your favorite colors [A/N: sorry if you don’t like white and lilac, but i didn’t want to risk the flower being ugly bc you like puke green or something TOT] and the flower’s design is similar to a cecilia’s with a few adjustments. Your favorite color and my favorite flower... If you think about it, these trees can be seen as our lovechild of sorts-”

He stops his monologuing when he notices you’ve untangled yourself from your shared scarf to take a closer look at the flowers. He sends a heated look towards your back that you don’t notice -- enraptured by his gift’s beauty (‘And not mine...’ he thinks bitterly.) -- as he clenches his fist.

It takes a moment, but he manages to control his simmering ire, bottling up the emotion as he does best.

It’s good that you like the present so much. It means he’s done a good job. There’s no need to get upset. Nothing could steal you away from him. Nothing.

Taking a deep breath, he sends his sketchbook back to his inventory and walks over to stand by your side, waiting for an opportunity to link arms with you again. Or, even better, hold your hand.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself...” he says, a hesitant hand moving to grasp yours only for you to move at the last second, reaching up to try and pick a flower from one of the branches. ‘Curses.......’

“Oh, these are gorgeous, Albedo. I just wish the trees weren’t so tall. It’s a little hard to pick one of these...” Even on your tiptoes, the lowest branches are still about a hand’s length away from your reach.

“Please, allow me,” Albedo says, demonstrating why he’s known around Mondstadt as a gentleman scholar.

He reaches up to pluck a flower from the branch, but unfortunately, he’s the same height as you and can’t reach it either. He tries jumping for it a couple of times in a panic to be of use but only manages to grab the branch, causing it to shake, a quick flurry of petals raining down on you. You try to tell him it’s alright, that you don’t need it that bad, but he’s very insistent on doing this for you.

Despite being a famous genius, it takes Albedo a while to remember he can just lay down one of his solar isotoma and lift himself up to get to the branches, but you write it off as his typical date nerves and give him a proud smile as he drops from the isotoma with a small handful of flowers in his hand.

He looks at you with shining eyes, presenting the flowers to you with the same pride a young child would. A few twigs and leaves are tangled in his hair, his head having hit one of the higher branches when he rose up on the isotoma. Of course, that stupid little “:>” grin is on his face. “For you!”

“Thank you, Albedo,” you say, chuckling a bit as you pluck the leaves and twigs out of his hair. “I really love this surprise.”

Albedo looks away from your face, overwhelmed yet again. A bit of red dusts his cheeks as he takes one of the flowers and moves to adorn your hair with it. “A-And... I love-”

A raspy, breathless honk cuts him off. You immediately crane your neck to look in the direction of the sound -- further down the path behind Albedo -- and start scurrying towards it, moving away before he can place the flower in your hair. “Oh no! It sounds like an animal may be hurt!”

Albedo remains stuck in place for a second while you dart down the path to the animal’s aid, little grin wiped clean off his face. His raised hand drops to his side and he clenches his fist, crushing the flower in his palm.

‘There’s too much wildlife on this mountain. Too many distractions,’ he thinks as he walks briskly after you. ‘I’ll have to take care of that some time soon.’

When Albedo finds you he sees you crouched before a juvenile moose that’s lying in the middle of the path, dirtying the stonework with the blood leaking from the claw marks on its hind legs. The wretched beast looks up at you with soulless dark eyes as you pull your gloves off and slowly lay your warm, gentle hands on it’s flank to calm it. He wrinkles his nose in disgust at the creature, but his heart is kept warm by your always infinite kindness.

“This poor thing... I think the wolves may have attacked him,” you say, looking up to notice a spot in the trees where a few branches are broken, bark stained with blood. “He must have run to hide here for protection. Your trees saved him, Albedo.”

‘I wish they hadn’t,’ Albedo thinks, glaring down at the moose, not an ounce of pity to be found in his frigid expression. ‘Note to self: the moose population is the first to be culled.’

You don’t seem to notice the daggers he’s shooting at the moose, frantically turning around to snatch the extra long, scarlet scarf that had still been hanging around his neck. “We have to stop the bleeding, the wound must be deeper than it looks given how much blood is on the ground.”

Albedo frowns as you begin to wrap the couple scarf he had special ordered for the two of you around this thing’s thigh, that ire from before welling up inside him yet again. How dare this... thing take your attention away from him? And how dare you focus on anything else when you have him?

“Dying is a necessary part of life, Y/N,” he mumbles, looking away (this time not smiling to himself), running a hand through his hair. “We shouldn’t meddle with the natural order of things. The wolves hunt moose to feed their pack and pups. What makes this one creature’s life more valuable-”

“I know there’s an order, but I can’t just leave him to die. Look at him, he needs us.”

“Y/N.” The word is cold and sharp. “We are not bringing that thing back with us. I know you want to help, but I am not letting you-”

You look up at him with your big, dark brown eyes [A/N: sorry if your eyes are blue or something, i just think brown eyes are the prettiest and can’t imagine this scene without y/n having them XC], sniffling as cutely and pathetically as you can. “Albedo...”

“I’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorry-” Albedo pulls his sketchbook from his inventory and draws a wagon, having it come to life underneath the moose so neither of you have to lift it. He coughs a bit, a little distressed from making you so upset. “...You can tend to it tonight, but it has to go in the morning.”

You throw your arms around his neck (him tensing up immediately, scared to ruin the moment by breathing wrong) and give him a squeeze. “Yes! Yes, I promise!”

***

You lied.

For months -- MONTHS -- Albedo has had to stand back and suffer as you drew away from him and focused all your attention -- you love -- on him.

Rebecca as you’ve lovingly dubbed him. God does Albedo hate that name by the time the fifth month rolls by. Loathing fills his heart every time you croon the moniker.

Like when you’re resting your forehead on Rebecca’s snout, brushing his fur as you coo about how cute and sweet he is, Albedo only able to look on and wonder why you never brush his hair.

Or when you’re calling the creature to eat the fruit and kale salad you’ve lovingly -- too lovingly -- prepared for his dinner. Albedo can only bite his tongue as he watches the beast feast like a king as he picks at the paltry pasta you’ve prepared for him. (Not that the pasta isn’t delicious. No, far from it. Everything you make is exquisite. Succulent and lush with flavor. But the passion he sees in your eyes when you make Rebecca’s food is lost when you’re cooking the dinner the two of you will share.)

Or when you’re squealing about how adorable Rebecca is in all the clothes you’ve been knitting for him, taking a more than generous amount of pictures of him in various scarves, hats, and blankets. Kind as you are, you always make sure to gift one to Albedo as well, but they’re only copies of what you’ve given Rebecca. You aren’t thinking about what would suit Albedo. You don’t care. And that’s what’s causing him to spiral into the abyss.

As the two of you cuddle on your living room couch -- Rebecca lying down in the special little nest of toys and blankets you’ve made for him in the far corner of the room, for once not in the way -- he contemplates what has made everything lead up to this.

He doesn’t understand how this beast has such a grip on your attention. What did it have that Albedo didn’t? Was it the hooves? The antlers? If that’s the case, he’d happily modify his body to your tastes with alchemy. Anything to have you back. Anything to make you solely his again...

Albedo shuts his eyes and sighs, making you snuggle closer to him. What is he thinking? For the past months he’s been making a fool of himself over this situation.

There have been numerous times where you’ve given him a gentle reprimand for stealing Rebecca’s meal for himself (more because it’s too much for him and makes him sick, but still, you’re getting mad at him over Rebecca); crying over the fact that you’ve only made antler warmers for Rebecca (though you still made him some in the end that he’s framed and place in his workshop); and getting upset over not getting tummy rubs like Rebecca (you completely vetoed the notion of giving him any, and his heart is still healing from being torn asunder by that).

You’ve tried to be understanding -- as you always are -- but he can tell you’re growing tired of him, just as everyone always does.

Even now as you lay on his chest, knitting a new couple’s scarf for the two of you, he can practically feel the animosity and disgust you have for him. Perhaps he should extend an olive branch before he loses you completely?

“Um, Y/N...” he says, clearing his throat. “How is, uh, Rebecca’s condition? Has he been doing well?”

Despite sticking with you for the entirety of the months Rebecca has been here like glue, Albedo has not paid attention to him outside of hating him, so he genuinely has no idea.

“Yes, actually! Remember when the vet came the other day?” Of course he did. That vile bastard is always looking at you a little too sweetly when he gives you Rebecca’s medication and check up reports. “He said that he’s now fully recovered! Isn’t that wonderful?”

Albedo sits up a little straighter, making you shift a bit in your position on his lap, and looks down at you with bright eyes. “Fully recovered? Meaning... he can leave now?”

You pause in your knitting. Glancing up at Albedo, you pout a bit, falling back on emotional manipulation once again. “I mean, I suppose but Albedo-”

“Isn’t this so wonderful for dear, sweet Rebecca?” Albedo cuts in before you have a chance to change his mind. His heart is pounding as he talks as quickly as possible, not allowing you to get a word in. “I’m sure he’s very lonely to not be with the other moose. Now that he’s strong and healthy, he can live the life you clearly wanted for him: free as a bird, frolicking about with his kin.”

You bite your lip. “I-I’m going to miss him, though.”

“And he will certainly miss you,” Albedo says, nodding sagely. “But, as you’ve raised Rebecca like your own child, you have to take the final step any parent does: letting go.”

You sigh and lean back into Albedo. “Fine... I guess you’re right... Tomorrow we’ll send him off.”

It takes everything in Albedo to keep from jumping with joy.

***

You think it’s only right to release Rebecca in the area where you first met him.

The flowering trees are still blooming (Albedo mentioned that he made them everlasting just for you), setting the mood perfectly for this bittersweet parting.

Getting to the area you think Rebecca had been lying that first day you met (you can’t quite tell after Albedo sent Timaeus to scrub the pathway free of blood) you pat Rebecca’s flank.

“Well, Rebecca, I guess this is it,” you say, resting your forehead on his neck and cuddling him just one last time. “I’m going to miss you so much.”

You take a step back and undo the collar you’d gotten for Rebecca to take him on walks before taking a step back to stand beside Albedo.

Though you’re trying to contain yourself -- vision slightly obscured by warm tears building at the corner of your eyes, threatening to roll down your face -- Albedo is practically glowing, shifting excitedly on his feet. “Alright, Y/N. Release it,” he says, looking at you expectantly, eyes gleaming. “You’ve cared for him well and now that he’s a fine, young moose it’s time for him to make his way into the world.”

Your lip wobbles a bit. Your head drops down so you can sniffle at the stone tiles beneath your feet, a few tears falling onto the pathway and quickly become little icy spots on the ground. “What if he’s not strong enough? I wouldn’t be able to bear it if we found him dead on the mountain in the future.”

Albedo quietly regards you, and you feel a bit embarrassed having him stare at you while you’re having a moment.

After a second, he steps towards Rebecca with an outstretched hand. A flash of light causing you to pick up your head and witness the miracle he’s performed.

Rebecca stands before you ripped as a motherfucker, absolutely shredded with muscles that a moose shouldn’t have and the biggest antlers known to man.

He’s also about 30 feet tall now.

“That shouldn’t be a problem now, right, Y/N?” Albedo asks, crossing his arms.

You throw your arms around his boney little frame and pick him straight off his feet squealing with excitement and you do a little twirl. “You’re the sweetest man alive, Albedo. There’s no one in this world for me but you!”

You’re definitely choking him, but he manages to reply, muttering, “Never forget that. It’s me and me alone you should-”

“Alright, Rebecca, go on now! Be free!”

You give Rebecca a little pat on the butt and he starts moving -- leisurely, but moving -- past the trees and up the mountain, disappearing in a flurry of snow coming in from the summit.

You sniffle and drop Albedo onto his feet to wipe the tears from your eyes, Albedo pulling out your new couple’s scarf to wrap around your necks. “Well, there he goes...”

“Yes,” Albedo says, linking your arms together in an act of sheer bravery. “Shall we take a stroll? To help cheer you up?”

You smile at him, letting his boney little elbow dig in your side. “I’d like that.”

***

Albedo:

This is an official plea that I -- Acting Grandmaster Jean Gunnhildr -- present to you on behalf of all of Mondstadt, particularly those that frequently traverse Dragonspine: PLEASE remove the gargantuan moose beast you’ve created from the mountain. Many people have become casualties in the avalanches caused by its movements around the mountain. I beg of you LIVES are at stake. Please respond as swiftly as possible.

[pinkwarsworld]

Right so here's the thing I don't mind concrit, in as much as you tell me i spelled moose as mousse or the I have some MAJOR grammatical errors (not just too many commas I've given up trying to contain then at this point). Or you can even tell me my characters a little oc, or that I have a plot hole, or that I said one thing one chapter and something completely different another.

These things are fine, and I will deal with them or ignore them as I see fit.

But here's the kicker do not come back at me if I DO decide to leave things as they are, look I didn't specifically ask for your concrit and at the end of the day it is MY story if I want to have character A with a glass eye in chapter one but miraculously have them sporting two real ones by chapter 99 for no apparent reason that's really up to me. Does it make for a shitty plot? Probably but I'm writing for fun and giving it away for free, what do you expect a novel that looks like it's been crafted by a master writer?

Another thing I would add to this as well, point out S P A G mistakes but for the love of god be kind about it, just because you can spell and use grammar without second thought doesn't mean everyone can. I spend hours of my life going through my writing with a fine tooth comb and my brain will still tell me everything is fine when I've clearly got a hundred 'teh's and one character repeatedly called Haycinth when it should be Hyacinth. You can see it but I CAN'T. This isn't sloppy writing it's just how my brain works and I have literally had people comment to tell me that this is wrong and that is wrong and then the moment they find out I'm dyslexic basically tell me to fuck off out of their fandom and find a different hobby because Dyslexics shouldn't write and that is not fucking on at all.

Who are you to tell me I SHOULDN'T write? What? you gonna tell an artist who produced something better than cystine chapel (my writing is not this good btw just an example😅) that they can't paint because they have no hands and they left a small smudge in the right hand corner?

TL:DR

my point is point out errors if you must or even criticise if they ask for it, but if they don't leave them alone and if even they DO don't get on you overzealous high horse about their writing.

There are real people on the other side of the screens and you're basically about to tell them their baby is ugly...so be gentle.

Hey fanfiction loving friend!

AO3 has the ability to turn off comments, moderate comments, restrict comments to logged in users only, or let anyone comment on your story. Most other fanfiction hosting websites do not allow comments to be turned off and in the case of some (wattpad) highly encourage comments even on individual paragraphs.

Over on reddit, someone said it is an unwritten rule of fanfiction that you should never leave a negative or critical comment on a story. This was countered most strongly by many arguments. Despite many people asserting that their stance was the one truth and that there was no debate on the topic - there was a lot of debate about what criticism even is and where the line should be for if giving concrit is alright.

So give this some thought:

If you have tea to spill, examples or an argument you want to make, please do. I have some that go both ways, but I'm going to wait for a few responses so I don't pre-empt the results. I'm not going to vote myself for a while, either, so I won't know which way the poll is leaning when I do pour my tea. I tried to cover all the flavors of debate I've seen in the many "definitive" posts I have read here and on reddit. Please reblog for a wider sample!

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

If Bella was somehow bitten somehow and woke up alone during New Moon, but the Cullens didn't find her (I don't know if this is still 'Edward mercy kills Bella' territory but if it is then maybe her gift knows this and starts blocking Alice) and she became a nomad, would she still do the diet and if so for how long?

This is shockingly in the realm of possibility and not necessarily in the land of Edward mercy killing Bella.

Though there are some dangers Bella would have to avoid somehow for survival.

Bella is Bitten Alone in New Moon

We have one vampire who meets Bella during New Moon and another who with very little difference in the timeline would have run across her: Laurent and Victoria.

In the case of Laurent, he and Bella have a chat, he decides Bella smells delicious and he'll spare her the pain of being slowly murdered by Victoria, and just as he decides to go for it he gets run down and eaten by giant wolves.

Bella survives her vampire encounter.

In the case of Victoria, she never really gets close enough to do damage until the fight between Edward and Victoria and Riley and Seth in Eclipse.

So we have a few ways this could go:

Laurent's a few seconds ahead of Sam and company. He manages to get a good bite in and doesn't crush Bella on impact. He's run off by the wolves and Bella survives.

The problem here is that Bella has now been bitten and there's no coming back for her. It's a tragedy, and the wolves will feel a shared sense of failure and burden that they failed to save her, but she's dead anyway. They have to kill her before she fully turns.

Bella's gift, while powerful, doesn't appear to help in this kind of situation. Though, that said, in her dire need it could suddenly give her the ability to project illusions like we see in Renesmee. Doesn't seem to be how Bella's gift typically rolls, but hey, this is her darkest hour.

Otherwise, Jake could pull his alpha move much earlier in order to save Bella's life. He ignores Sam's order, flees with the turning Bella, and dumps her in the wilderness somewhere with a note from Jake that she must never return to Forks. She wakes up alone, only guessing though not knowing what Jake has done for her, and stares blankly at the wilderness.

If Victoria catches up to Bella, well, it's not looking good. All too likely, Bella dies painfully, and Victoria leaves a video tape of the entire ordeal in the Cullen house for when they eventually return (as they surely will).

Though, that said, the ease with which Victoria accomplishes this and the complete lack of Cullen intervention could catch her off guard. Perhaps... Edward doesn't actually give a rat's ass. That says terrible things about James' needless death, but Victoria's holding this girl hostage. She will die, in the most painful manner imaginable, and the Cullens aren't there.

Victoria might turn Bella out of pity or else turn her as she figures out, in part from Bella, that Bella becoming a vampire is Edward's worst case scenario. However, in that case, it's unlikely Victoria would abandon Bella, so Bella wouldn't be on her own.

Which, I think for this post, makes Jake's alpha sacrifice the most likely path. He dumps Bella's half-vampire body somewhere in nowhere Canada.

Bella After the Bite

Being dumped in the wilderness helps a lot. For one, Bella already has unbelievable control, for another this is Edward's penguin scenario. There is no one else out here for her to eat even if she wanted to.

So, following the diet is easy.

And it's something she'd very much wish to do. Bella sees the world of vampires divided into two types of vampire: the good Cullen vampires who don't eat people and the bad vampires who, well, eat people.

This left such a mark on Bella that she has very little idea of what a vampire even is.

Bella would be horrified at herself if she became a bad vampire. In wanting vampirism she wanted the vampirsim she sees in the Cullens. Bella might be miserable and alone, without a friend in the world, but she would be horrified to choose anything other than the Cullen way of life.

At least, at first.

The Return of the Cullens

There's a few paths for Bella after she's dumped in the middle of nowhere.

Alice sees that Bella's become a vampire, an abandoned newborn, and is wandering aimlessly around the wilderness somewhere. Even though Edward has forbidden contact, this is probably enough to motivate Alice who was genuinely worried.

She likely goes behind Edward's back and tries to find Bella with Jasper and possibly the rest of the Cullens.

Edward, of course, is still in Rio being a miserable saint for leaving precious human Bella.

Eventually, they manage to find her, and there's a lot of miscommunication, very hurt feelings, and heartfelt apologies even from Rosalie because look what happened to this poor girl. Though they each, either reluctantly or more enthusiastically, agreed to leave this was not what they had in mind.

Bella forgives them quite readily, as she did in canon, because she has the self-esteem of a thimble. The Cullens are awed and very grateful, Rosalie would never have forgiven them for this.

It probably takes them both a) a while to decide how best to tell Edward and break the news to him b) a while to get a hold of Edward because he's ignoring all their phone calls.

Eventually they do, it's a shit show, for the purpose of this post we'll say he does not mercy kill Bella. He might actually be feeling too guilty for that. Instead he grovels on the ground constantly, begging Bella's forgiveness, and refuses to enter a relationship with her because he's unworthy.

This undoubtedly upsets Bella, because she's also unworthy and Edward knows it and doesn't love her, but that's not the point of this meta.

In this world, the Cullens keep Cullening after picking Bella up, Bella's adopted into the fold and made Edward's twin sister due to looking the most like him (which, of course, makes them look actually incestuous in high school to add to the Cullen mystique).

With the support of the Cullens, living the Cullen lifestyle, and having the control that Bella has there's no question of ever leaving the diet.

Bella stays on the wagon.

Bella Seeks Out the Denali

Alice is successful and doesn't see Bella's future for whatever reason. Edward will be so proud. Bella is left alone in Canada to eat moose.

Eventually, Bella decides that however great being a vampire is, she's lonely and miserable. She wants companionship.

Well, obviously the Cullens hate her, so even if she could find them they probably never want to see her again. But what about the Denali?

Bella's already in Canada, she could head over to the Denali National Park in Alaska, and surely the least she could do is actually introduce herself.

Of course, the coven sounds blonde, hot, aggressively female, and very intimidating. Tanya's history of wanting to bang Edward has Bella feeling very small and worthless. More, the Cullens may have told the Denali all about how stupid and ugly Bella, Edward's current human girlfriend, is and they've all laughed at her.

However, Bella's so desperate for companionship, for some connection back to her old life, that she goes for it.

She makes it to Alaska, wanders around until she eventually finds the Denali coven, and introduces herself. The Denali are weird assholes, but Bella's so oblivious she actually doesn't notice.

That said, they've had their brush with the law, and Tanya doesn't want a newborn running around by herself. Eleazar also gives a truly pompous, awful, speech about compassion to their fellow man. It's unbearable, Bella finds it charming.

They take Bella in, she can be the dark-haired sister. Her control is so good the three single ladies quickly take her clubbing and encourage her to sleep away her troubles with human men.

Bella quickly finds that, when you're on the vampire end of the equation, the relationship with human thing is kind of gross. These people smell like food, are squishy and overly warm, and have the substance of tofu.

Bella feels even worse about her relationship with Edward.

She sleeps with human men anyway so that the Denali sisters won't judge her/will think she's cool.

They're so proud of her.

Regardless, Bella stays on the diet as the Denali follow the diet. She will likely have a few accidents with her human lovers, and will be inconsolable, but the coven will be there to offer comfort and help her get back on the wagon.

Bella stays on the wagon

Bella's Low Self-Esteem Wins and She Becomes a Hermit

Bella can't return to Forks and she's so ugly, stupid and boring that even though she's a vampire if she met anyone new they'd realize how ugly, stupid, and boring she is.

Better to just forsake society altogether and live with moose.

Bella's able to do this for quite a long time. Years even. And it's... fine. But her life has no purpose nor any direction to it.

She becomes tempted by society. How many years has it been? Has the world changed since she left? Has Forks changed? Is Charlie still alive? Is Renee? What about her classmates?

Bella starts travelling and visiting human cities and, thanks to her control, she does very well.

However, it's very likely that one day she'll slip, she takes her control far too much for granted and all it takes is one mistake.

And that's where Bella starts getting into trouble.

She's horrified at first, of course, and that likely doesn't break her. She gets back on the wagon, but the second time it happens...

There are no consequences to her breaking the diet. She has no companions, no one cares. Why is she living in constant agony, every single day, for people who will one day die anyway? Why is Bella choosing to suffer?

As time goes on, as humans start to mean less and less to her and all the humans that she knew when human herself are dead, Bella starts forgetting the reason that the diet seemed so vital to her existence.

At one point, it stops meaning anything at all, it's just Bella pointlessly choosing to live in agony.

Bella falls off the wagon.

TL;DR I think it'd take a while, at least ten years, but if she becomes a solitary nomad, it would inevitably happen.