#meanings behind my words. its not my fucking fault you dont get anything god.

[raybeetle]

im so mad at people who think time travel will ever exist. thats not how physics works buddy I would know (im 13 and have never studied physics in my life, however, due to an intense ego, I believe that everything my brain tells me is true because it sounds true) you are not larger than the universe you cant just grab fucking time like that and fuck with it. how would you even calculate where to go? the universe isn’t sentient or a thing it doesn’t register your HUMAN MORTAL concepts of time. you cant just tell your machine to go to 2009[1] and it’ll understand what the fuck youre talking about . shut the fuck up. listen I have childish dreams and ambitions too but you know what im NOT. an OPTIMIST. you are NOT time traveling. these are also the same reasons for visual snow and why teleportation isnt possible as well.

in 2009 stephen hawking (rip king i miss you I dont care about epsteins island you will always be in my heart) made a party for time travellers, after the party ended he released the invites . nobody showed up of course. or DID THEY? maybe they showed up but told Stephen hawking not to tell anyone they did because that could fuck up the timeline? No they didn’t. time travel isnt real. go fuck yourself hawking. love you though!

[kindnessisweakness2]

3

Sitting on one of the bar stools in the clubhouse, a bag of ice resting on her hand, Emily was crimson red with embarrassment. "I'm Sorry, this is not how i expected things to go. I seriously just wanted to sign the paperwork and go." Jax smiled at her panicked expression. "Its fine Darlin'. Its his own fault for not getting the hint." Tig chose that moment to pipe up. "Did you mean it tho? About fucking every man that dont have an old lady. Cuz if you did, I'm first yeah?" Emily started to laugh and immediately Jax knew he loved the sound. "Sure, Why not!" She was glad no one was pissed at her for causing trouble. "Ignore him, he's a pervert." Jax rolled his eyes as Tig glared at him, but before anyone else could say anything the clubhouse door was slammed open. Emily watched as a young blonde woman with hardly any clothes came storming in. "Im guessing your Emily?" She questioned with all the attitude she could muster. Not even moving from the bar stool, Emily nodded at the girl. She was completely confused. She'd never laid eyes on this woman before and there was clearly an issue. "You've just broke my old mans nose! How fucking dare you!" The woman screeched. Emily's eyes widened in shock, but laughter came tumbling out of her mouth before she could stop it. "Oh my god. Your the whore with the lace panties!" Turning to Jax, Emily raised both hands up and giggled. "Mystery Solved!" Turning back to the very angry blonde. "Hate to break it to you sweetie, but if your expecting prince charming you are sorely sorely mistaken. Dont expect good sex, he's shit in bed. But im guessing since your already so uptight and moody you already know that. Also You'll have to have his dinner on the table when he's home, he wont eat it but he wants it there, even just to throw it away. Dont expect gifts on your birthday or even your anniversary. Oh and Dates? No youll never get them, unless you pay the bill. 6 years i was with thats asshole and hes never brought me so much as a drink!" Emily laughed again at the shock on the womans face. "And just so you know. That amazing bike he no doubt rode you around on? I paid for it sweetie!" Emily picked her drink up from the bar and took a sip. "So good luck, your welcome to the absolute waste of a man." The woman was clearly lost for words as she stomped back out of the clubhouse without another word or a backwards glance. "Was that mean?" She asked Jax and Tig. Jax shook his head. "No, i dont think so." He smirked at her. And even in her angry scorned state she couldnt help but think how fucking sexy he was.

"JAX!" The man she now knew was called Chibs, shouted. His voice echoed through the clubhouse. Worriedly all three of them made their way outside, just in time to see a police car drive in and David Hale exit. Jax groaned in frustration. Fuck. This was the last thing the club needed. Expecially since they have 6 oil barrells in the garage, each full of a dozen unassembled AK-47'S. Stepping in front of Jax, she pulled her hair out of her messy bun, took off her button up and shifted her breasts in her bra to extenuate her cleavage."Leave it with me." She hissed at him and made her way over to the deputy swaying her hips a little more than necessary, Gemma quickly following behind her. "Hey David, Hows it going?" She spoke softly leaning against the police car. "Hey Emily. Had a call about a fight. Just came to check it out." He eye'd the club who were stood watching the scene unfold. "Yeah sorry that was my fault." Raising her bruised knuckles and pouting. "Bit of a domestic, but everything's fine now. Noah's at St Thomas if you want to take a statement. I punched him, broke his nose i think. I accept all charges. This isnt anything to do with SAMCRO. Its me you need to talk to." David looked to Gemma, "That true?" He questioned. Gemma raised her eyebrows. "You heard her." The look of frustration on David's Face made Emily want to laugh but she held it back. "Do you need a ride home? I dont think you should stay here with them. There not good people Emily." A Scowl settled on her face at his comment. "I can look after myself, Thank you David. Think Jax might take me home, ill take a harley over a cop car anyday." David went bright red at the comment. Clearing his throat, he nodded and got in his car. She blew him a kiss and a wave as he drove out of Teller Morrow. Gemma eyed the young girl as she put her bright hair back up in a messy bun. She was trouble alright. "What the fuck was that?" Gemma questioned as the rest of the club made their way over. "What? i had to help since i caused the trouble. You want him looking for an excuse to search the clubhouse. Do you think im completely stupid to the shit you guys do? David Hale has had a thing for me since the day i moved to Charming. I was using what i know to get him to fuck off. It worked didnt it?" Emily Snapped. It had been a long day and so much shit has happened she didnt have the mental capacity for another argument. "Listen Mamma Bear can i just sign this fucking paperwork? I've been here almost all day." Gemma couldnt help the smirk that settled on her face.

She liked this girl.

[qoldenskies]

For the fanfic writing asks, 2, 55, and 58? Literally love the way you write it's packed with so much layer and feeling

2. Where do you get your fic ideas?

it really just depends! sometimes its a "wouldnt it be fucked up if-" and sometimes its a mix of tropes/plot concepts i picked up in other fandoms/stories subconsciously because i can BLORBO-IFY EVERYTHING IF I TRY HARD ENOUGH and its fun to put a twist on kind of tropey ideas for my own amusement.

i dont really get my ideas from music specifically (although i know a lot of other people do), but i end up looking for music to listen to that applies to the fics that i write for an extra boost of motivation and it usually helps me expand on ideas (currently 47k words into caged lungs and right now its been goodbye my danish sweetheart. for coming undone it was gilded lily. my fics always got The Song...)

55. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics?  Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

i mean i am currently on my SECOND slow build (this one even more so) angst fic about a curse, so at the moment that is kind of my Thing.... also i LOVE just writing like. guilt. guilt appears in everything that i write, also usually themes of internalized ableism and self sacrifice? the general angst package

also i notice that i think for like almost every fic i write or have planned, i write leo going apeshit to some extent. he's a very fun character to make irrationally angry and protective. nobody appreciated the mental image of him clotheslining draxum in coming undone which is sad because i find it VERY FUNNY...... like he had to jump to do that LMAO

58. Do you have a favorite piece of figurative language you’ve written?

GOD I CANNOT PICK ONE. here's some of my favorites from caged lungs currently because there's a TON of it there. spoiler-ish its mostly canary metaphor stuff

For his whole life he’d felt caged by his purpose, like a trapped bird yearning for the open sky. But for a bird, freedom was more dangerous than staying locked away— it lived longer behind bars, fulfilling its purpose for others instead of itself. It could sing songs of yearning all it wanted, aware that the goal was unreachable. Dangerous. Impossible. (It was better to be locked away, in the end. A caged bird still sang. A dead one didn’t.)

For his family, he had buried himself alive. A dead man rotting beneath the soil, singing songs of sunlight he never wanted to see. Loving had clipped his wings. Golden feathers had strewn across the pristine metal floor. He crushed them beneath his feet as he walked. He refused to look at them. These were the sacrifices he made for love. His lungs burned.

It was four-fourteen. His breathing was gunshot loud in the still air. His heart ticked like clockwork. His lungs burned. The remnants of his work were chopped into tiny pieces on his metal floor. He couldn’t remember what it felt like to clip them. Painful, he assumed. It didn’t feel like anything now.

(The moment he’d fallen out of that closet, the birdcage had been opened wide. He’d been sent into the darkness of the underground instead of the limitless, open sky. Into a dead end. Into his crypt. His voice had been taken from him, lost to the airless shadows. He hadn’t realized until then that he’d been doomed to die from the very beginning.)

 Every echo of feather-light softness felt like it filtered through a haze of shame. All of this was to keep them happy. He was never going to be happy again— he could touch the moon in a puddle, but he could never pull the stars out of the sky.

His forehead met the lip of the sink with a dull thunk. He wrapped his arms around his stomach and cried into the dark, mocked by the uncontaminated atmosphere of the bathroom. He’d built it this way with his own hands, sterile and pristine, it was his fault— sitting on a throne of white lies, soaking in porcelain smiles and hollow appreciation so he wouldn’t have to face the truth.  In the distance he heard the tick of a clock, the threat of an alarm, rotting his flesh away. Donnie was running out of time.

AND A COUPLE FROM MINER'S EULOGY which is the thing after this... so many god damn metaphors in these fics im having a great time!!

Never before had he witnessed his brother be crushed so thoroughly. Leo had soothed the cracks in his resolve and glued the chipped pieces back before, scars and grooves that told stories of labors of love—but he’d never had to cradle the dust in his hands in the way that he had that night, unable to remember the shape that they had once formed. He’d never felt so in over his head. He’d never thought he would be the cause of it.

Leo had turned back, and Donnie was gone. He’d surfaced into the light, alone, and he would never be able to stand in the sunshine without feeling like he’d stolen it. Every breath he took was air he had ripped out of Donnie’s lungs. Soon, Donnie would wake and Leo would have to meet his eyes every single day. He’d never see him again.

Leo wanted to give him the night sky and he’d blown the chance to give him so much as a speck of stardust.

this is all really vague stuff so im cool sharing it but. behold: the curse of being. a character that i like . in a series (also like behold what i meant when i mentioned the orpheus/eurydice parallel. A HAPPY ACCIDENT)

[elffees]

probably one of my favorite aspects about The Quarry are how the “villains” are handled. even saying “villains” feels ill fitting, they all just feel like separate factions with different (but similar) goals.

THE COUNSELORS

“how are the counselors villains” you ask? ill tell you. theyre not villains in that theyre purposely antagonizing the Hacketts, but they are obstacles. the Hacketts have had a solid routine for about 6 years. go out to look for Silas in the desperate hope to cure their family members. and on the one night they decide to take a risk and let their werewolf relatives loose, hoping theyd lead the human Hacketts to Silas, these young clueless teens not only stay seated right in the line of fire, but proceed to have a very loud party in the middle of the damn woods.

they are obstacles in that now instead of aimlessly scouring through the woods, the werewolf Hacketts have just been handed a campfire-shaped-coupon to an all-you-can-eat-buffet. not only is this fucking up the entire plan, but now theres the danger of these counselors possibly getting infected and creating even more werewolves!

with this said, The Counselors arent only obstacles tho. theyre just unaware! Jacob had no idea about the werewolves when he sabotaged the car, nor did Dylan when he suggested a party, and neither did Laura and Max when they kept going to the quarry in the prologue. this group is not outwardly malicious or purposely trying to be obnoxious. they just dont know theres real actual monsters out there. who would?!

THE WEREWOLVES

how the werewolves are antagonists is pretty obvious i think.

but how they arent, isnt! even tho im neutral on their design, the writing behind the werewolves is amongst my favorite out of all the creatures Supermassive has written about so far. theyre mindless creatures with no recollection of their human selves. Nick could damn well be in love with Abi, doesnt matter bc if you miss that shot, hes going to rip her head off. the wolves are a legitimate danger, one you have no control over, but despite that, you dont want to kill them bc fuck theyre your FRIENDS and you know theres a way to change them back!

i dont want to compare but for example, in Until Dawn, there is no way to save Hannah, girl has just got to go. in Man of Medan, 90% of your attackers are the other playable characters, so just choose to chill out and youll be fine. in The Quarry, neither apply to the werewolves. your loved ones will attack you and you must defend yourself, but how far will you go to do so? will you kill them with silver to permanently end the threat? even tho they wouldve been back to normal by morning and couldve even been cured? or will you go easy on them, but risk getting infected yourself, or even worse, eaten alive?

its just so COMPLEX! you want to protect your loved ones, but the “loved one in danger” is constantly changing depending on which person a wolf is hunting down and which wolf is being hunted down. god, its one of my favorite things about the game!!

THE HACKETTS

how the Hacketts are antagonists is pretty simple. theyre trying to attack your ass. Bobby stabs Ryan and he must become infected to survive. Travis can murder Laura out of revenge, and Constance can shoot Laura out of annoyance. Chris and Caleb are werewolves who if you dont kill, will kill you (or just die in Caleb’s case). and this family has a bizarre tendency to just kidnap ppl without a word! Travis kept Laura and Max locked up for two months and barely told them anything! not until Laura “proved” her loyalty and intelligence. Bobby and Jed kidnap Jacob also without a word, not giving a shit about his pleas.

i mean ffs its their fault werewolves are even a danger in the first place. they burned down the Harum Scarum Traveling Show and let Silas loose. the Hacketts are major assholes.

how the Hacketts arent just antagonists are where things get complicated. for starters, yes the Traveling Show burning down is their fault. but if you have Laura and Travis survive to the end, you learn that it was done out of child-like ignorance. Kaylee and Caleb were young and didnt approve of Silas’ treatment, so they came up with the well intended plan to start a fire and help him escape. unaware of how quickly a fire spreads or that a bite from Silas would ruin their fucking lives.

in the present day, the Hacketts kidnap the counselors to either protect them or just get them out of the way (or both). they go about it in a really fucked up way, but theyre not trying to hurt them, quite the opposite, they just have the worst social skills in the gotdamn world. the Hacketts only turn outwardly aggressive after Laura kills Kaylee. the family feels immense grief and officially stops giving a shit, wanting to make Laura suffer as much as possible, especially as shes infected and trying to kill Chris.

the Hacketts are assholes, but they werent always like this and dont want to be like this.

everyone in the game just wants to move on with their lives, but they all have different ways of going about it and a lot of them directly conflict with one another. “whos the villain” changes depending on which pov youre looking through. its so interesting and so well done, and i love it a lot.

[fanfiction-inc]

Can I get Arthur Morgan

But of back story having met a sweet but wild woman let’s say they meet during Colter. She’s literally lived in the mountain and survived and ends up with the gang.

First meeting hmmm he’s just like oh what in the heck is this crazy woman and she’s so nice to me and snuggly and sweet and wtf she just decked a man flat on his ass?!

ONTO REQUEST with back story in mind.

But they end up sweet on one another And the letter from Mary comes.

Reader ends up tagging along due to reasons and she can’t stand when Mary basically is tugging at Arthur’s emotions. He’s never seen the reader looking at anyone so angrily.

But they end up having first NSFW time and Arthur is a mess of I’m not worthy snd reader is like I say you are and if I gotta F-squeak toy sound-ck it into you I will.

DONT feel the need to go with everything I said I just like to give prompts and let people fly free! Love your writing!!!!

Feel free to ask back for anything RDR!

I had so much fun writing this request! 😍 I hope you enjoy!

(AN: As always, smut is under the cut!)

You have had enough of this woman, her very presence and mannerisms sickening you as you walked along behind your love interest and his former girlfriend.

This woman was working him through every emotional attachment that was left lingering, and she tried to play on the fact they used to have a relationship to persuade him to do this or that for her.

What finally had you huffing and puffing, glare like pure daggers towards the woman with every emotion spawned from the fires of Hell, was when she tried to convince him to run away with her.

To change him into an "honest man".

A "good man".

Arthur Morgan was as good of a man as he can be!

He was kind, smart, caring, and if this woman couldn't see it then it was her loss.

Arthur lost attention at times from Mary's woeful story, catching the gaze you gave to the woman as you walked on and helped him with the task he had been asked to do.

The rage in your gaze, the balling of your fist, and how your body was tense.

He's never seen you like this, always such the charming and sweet little thing when you two are together.

All giggles and smiles, kind gazes and warm embraces.

He didn't know what to make of it, even when you two return to camp and you haven't spoken a word to him.

It wasn't his fault that Mary was like this, he had no part expect being a passenger among your anger train towards the woman who didn't deserve him.

His mind went to ways he may have upset you when with Mary.

Did he stay too close?

Did he not make it known enough that he was taken in some form of relationship with you?

He followed you back to your tent, seeing how your hands were shaking at your side, his taking yours and causing you to turn quickly and face him.

The moment those big blue puppy dog eyes met yours, you melt, calming in his presence.

God, you loved this damn man.

"(First name)-" He was cut off by your words when your form pressed in against his own, lips brushing his in a gentle lip lock.

It took him a millisecond before he was returning the kiss, hands letting yours go in exchange for coming up to cup your cheeks and hold you closer.

It was like fire between you two, the kiss heating up even without words needing to be exchanged.

He only pulled away when your fingers looped in his belt, eyes catching your own.

"(First name), darlin'... What if m'not enough for ya?" Your questioning gaze meets his own and he swallowed thickly. "I don't deserve a woman like ya. So sweet on me, stealin' m'heart each time y'smile and that damn contagious laughter.."

He stopped speaking the moment your finger placed against his lip, watching your expression shift to a far more sweet and loving demeanor.

Yet lust still stayed in those eyes that left him dreamy, lost in thought as he stares.

"Arthur Morgan, if I have t'fuck it into ya that y'deserve me, I will." He felt his cheeks warm when you began unbuckling his belt, the audible gulp sounding in the air making you pause.

"Are y'sure?" He questioned in a breathy whisper, licking his lips when your hands move up his chest, grabbing the collar of his shirt to pull him against you so your lips rested against his ear.

"Absolutely, Mr. Morgan." He visibly shivered, melting when feather like kisses trailed along his jaw and down to his neck, now being hyperaware of just how you make him feel.

His hands come down to grasp your rear, soon hiking you up with a squeak from your lips so your legs wrapped around his waist.

So he could grind his growing hardness against your pants covered core and let you feel what you do to him.

His fingers came to the buttons of your shirt, working to get them undone ad yours worked on his vest, letting the article fall off his form unceremoniously to the dirt below.

He catches your lips following a tilt of his head, humming in satisfaction when your shirt is off and your bare breast are exposed to the humid air of the camp.

Arthur Morgan was savoring every second of this, loving how hot and needy your form grew when he laid you on the cot and busied his mouth with a perky nipple, earning the most delicious of noises from you.

Each breathy sigh when his tongue flicked over the bud and how his teeth just barely grazed the sensitive flesh earning a hitch in breath.

It was pure music to his ears.

Soon enough it was his turn to groan, the sound a low rumble rising from his chest when your hand snaked its way into his trousers, taking him in hand.

"My God, woman. You're drivin' me wild." He huffed out, motions pausing as his eyes flutter shut and savor the slow rhythm you had set with each pump of his member.

"Isn't that the point, Mr. Morgan?" You joked sweetly, giggling when his eyes open to send you a playful look, his lips moving from your breast to kiss down your abdomen and pause at the trousers blocking him from your drenched sex.

Your hand had to pull away from the way he lowered himself, his fingers looping in the waistband of your pants and gaze flickering up for a single second.

A silent question was posed.

"Go ahead." You cooed, body shivering in pure delight at the way his gaze shifted to something more...needy.

He has waited so long to do this, and now he was gonna savor every second of it.

He reveled in the view of you once your pants were off, a verbal moan leaving his lips when he stole a lap at your core, hands moving to catch your shifting hips.

He kept his gaze locked on your own, not giving a damn who heard your lewd noises that spilled out with each suckle and lick at your sensitive bundle of nerves and needy hole.

Savoring the way your chest raised with each quickened breath and how your eyes fell half way when he found the right pace to bring you closer and closer to the edge.

Each hungry lap led you closer and closer, fingers tangling in his hair and tugging with a sweet, delicious moan as the levee broke and he was flooded with your slick, cleaning you of every drop he could.

He rose up with a chuckle, your blissed out expression making his heart flutter.

It encouraged him, made him happy to know he could make you feel so good.

His tongue darks out, licking at what was left on his lips and back of his hand wiping at his chin.

God this man looked sinful doing such.

"Sweeter than honey." He commented, grinning at the rising blush decorating your cheeks.

Your fingers grab his pants again, pulling him in for a kiss as he moved to get his shirt the rest of the way off.

His pants soon followed, now nude to you for the first time.

Of course, you've seen him from the waist up when things got too hot for multiple layers.

Bare chest exposed and slickened with sweat from whatever activity he had been doing.

Your fingers traced over the flesh, resting over his heart to feel it racing as he positioned himself between your legs, gaze seeking your own for approval once more.

"Arthur, please just fuck m'like ya mean it." You pleaded with him when the tip of his cock brushed over your slickened folds, hitting your clit and making your thighs tremble.

He gave a smirk at your words, hips moving so he could sheath his length within you.

He's slow, savoring the way your core accepts every inch of his shaft until his hips are against your own and face pressed against your neck, delivering tender kisses to aid in the process of you adjusting to him.

You're like a well oiled machine, moving in sync to advance the process.

Breaths shared between open mouthed kisses and noises silenced by the other, excluding the wet, skin hitting skin noises that begin to overtake the tent.

Raw, needy, he fucks you like a man desperate to never lose you, to never be without you in his life.

Each pump brings him closer and closer to the edge, just like the feelings building like wildfire in your core.

"Arthur!" Your tone is breathy when it reaches his ears, the only warning besides the sudden clamp of your walls around him and the new octave your tone takes to your release.

He groaned out when he finished within you, your walls stealing everything he has and weight resting on his arms as he tries to combat the high and not crush you.

"I told ya y'drive me wild." He chuckled out, breathless and moving to his side, bringing you with him so he stays buried inside you for the time being.

"Do y'still feel unworthy of me, Arthur?" You questioned gently, fingers tracing designs along his chest, head resting against his shoulder.

"No, all because ya reassured me." He admits, kissing the top of your head.

"Good."

RDR2 TAG LIST:

@lise-soontobemarried  | @imtootiredforreddit | @morgans-cowbaby | @btsloversaregreat | @sokkasdarling | @the-internet-ruined-me

[wizkiddx]

Not sure if you are taking request at all but if you do, do you mind writing something about Harry agreeing to be the birth photographer at the birth of his niece (tom and reader’s daughter) 🥺🤍

this was so interesting!! personally I am way too self conscious to have a photographer when I *eventually* have a kid aha, but I hope this is what u were looking for x x p.s. coming at my brand w the white hearts :)

tomholland x reader

summary: harry gets terrified by toms request about the birth of his child, but the reader smoothes it over

Having just had a round of golf with Harry, Tom invited him back to yours for a cuppa and a catch up too. After all the years of living and travelling with Harry by his side, Harry in particular was massively important to TOm. Especially since he’d moved in with you, Tom constantly made a super special effort to spend as much time with him as possible. Harry had a key and had no quam with letting himself in uninvited. Though since he had walked in at *the wrong time* a bit too frequently, and then the announcement of your pregnancy - he had cut down the unexpected visits.

“So, I actually wanted to ask you something.”

“This does not sound good” Harry furrowed his eyebrows together, looking suspiciously at his brother as he poured the kettle into the two matching ‘Brothers Trust’ mugs.

“Since when? I only ever ask you to do good things?”

“We both absolutely know that is not true.” Harry deadpanned, pointing to the palm of his right hand which carried a large scar. Scar in question had been sustained during one of Tom’s incredibly ‘good’ aka stupid ideas.

“Right fair… I’ll allow that.” He receeded, placing the two mugs onto the counter in front of Harry. All it took was one look at the pale brown colour for Harry to turn his nose up, shooting Tom a look as though he’d just murdered a puppy. The elder of the two sighed, knowing exactly what his brothers snobbiness was about.

“Seriously?”

“It’s not your fault your awful at this, some people just aren’t born with it.” With a sarky pat on the back Harry rounded the counter, pouring the freshly brewed but slightly too milky tea down the drain - before flicking the kettle on to make his own brew… properly this time.

Tom knew his brother well enough to know not to argue or protest, instead perching on the counter as he watched Harry work his ‘magic’.

“But seriously me and Y/n have been talking about the birth cos you know, it’s not too far away now.” This was true, you were now only 3 weeks from your due date - but going by the size of you, you were ready to pop. Quite literally, you didn't know how much longer you could last.

“I’d be concerned if you weren’t mate.”

“Well yeh and I basically um …  had the idea to get a photographer for the birth right? It’s quite an American thing but I don’t want to forget anything and I’m sure it’s gonna be magical.” In response, Harry slowly turned around, empty mug in hand and eyes fierce.

“Are you fucking stupid?!”

To be fair to Harry, that had pretty much been your reaction when Tom first suggested it - word for word. He’d got the idea from one of the crew he’d filmed his most recent projects with, the guy had been raving about how beautiful it was and once he’d shown the pictures to Tom - he had to agree. Eventually Tom had worn you down to it and actually the idea of being able to save the moment you met your kid for the first time didn’t sound too bad. You had firmly set the boundaries of no photos of your ‘labour face’ and absolutely nothing from the ‘other end of the bed.’

The worry for both of you, as it always was given Tom’s reputation, was privacy. Especially the birth of your child, having a stranger there had you straight refusing, even a friend seemed still a little invasive. It was only when Tom had remembered he had a brother (who you were also incredibly close to) who was handy with a camera. Even if he had no experience with this particular type of photography, Harry was a pretty safe pair of hands for a camera in any situation. God knows he’s had enough practice at it.

“No hear me out, Y/n agreed too-“

“Of course this was your idea! So she’s totally fine with me staring at her fanny through a camera lens?”

“Harry” That was a warning tone, which the frizzy haired boy chose to completely ignore.

“No I-I mean, you want me to stare at your finances bits? Isn’t that some sort of weird incsest?”

“Shut the fuck up about Y/n’s body. You OBVIOUSLY wouldn’t be taking photos of that end, more like when the baby gets handed to us you know?”

“When its covered in gunk that came out of Y/n?”

“I’m pretty sure they clean it-“

“Not properly!”

Thankfully perhaps, the conversation was interrupted by the kettle clicking off, the water coming to a boil. With a huff Harry turned round, pouring and then stirring the tea as Tom watched his back from a distance. Neither spoke till after Harry finished, returning the milk to the fridge and then leaning against the counter top.

“Look I get it if you dont want to but your the only one Y/n trusts to do it and it means a lot to me.”

“Y/n wants me to stare at her fanny?!”

“No calm down you div. But you are the only one she trusts to be in the room when our first child is born. Will you just think about it?”

Harry opened his mouth to reply, probably protest, but before he could the front door opened and you called through the house.

“Tom? I’m home!” And becasue the boy was whipped he instantly trotted to the front door giving you a peck on your lips. He murmured to you that Harry was there, his lips moving against yours and you nodded with a small smile. You knew, instantly, that Tom in all his idiocy hadn’t handled it well.

“Would you mind getting all the shopping from car? Pregnant and all, so I’m not allowed to lift a finger.” You cocked your head, laughing as he rolled his eyes with a nod.

“I’m excited for when you can't play that card.”

“But then I’ll be the women who pushed a baby out for you… the mother of your child.”  Winking, you then quickly moved through the house before he could protest, just knowing he was pulling a pouty face as he watched you sway away.

Once in the kitchen you saw Harry nursing his mug like it was the last drink on earth, hunched over it from where he was sitting on a stool on the breakfast bar.

“ You lose at golf?” Opening the conversation, Harry instantly shot his head up, looking slightly terrified to see you.

“Wha- no, no I didn’t actually.”

“Tom asked you huh?” He nodded, seemingly not wanting to commit with words. “I had exactly the same face when he first told me. It’s weird right?”

“Yeh no shit.”

“He’s really keen on it though, I mean he’s like an excited puppy about the whole birth.”

“But you want it too?”

“Sort of. What I do want is for him to be happy though. And I’m fairly certain he’s gonna be terrified throughout the whole birth while I won’t be in a position to help himl.”

“You’ll probably have other stuff on your mind to be fair.” You laughed, at that, nodding in agreement with him.

“Just a little. I did think though, who is a person who I can trust to look after him too during that... and even I draw a line at your dad… Look if you don't want to, I totally get it and I can’t promise that I won’t be screaming at you during if you do. But it would comfort me to know you were there, with or without the bloody camera.”

“Seriously?” Rather than exclaiming it, Harry whispered in shock, not expecting this sort of a revelation.

“Course H! You're my little brother too.”

“I might pass out.”

“So will your brother, at least he won’t be on his own then.”

“I’ll do it.”

“Thnakyouthankyouthankyou!” You squealed, running over to hug him from the back, arms round his shoulders as he squirmed on the stool.

It was at this point Tom walked back in after unloading the ridiculous amount of baby clothes shopping you had done. Big strong Tom had to take 2 trips up and down the stairs to the nursery. Of course, all it took was a few words from you and Harry was falling at your feat. He was hardly surprised. Annoyingly you seemed to have this power over all the Hollands. They never stood a chance.

It wasn’t till later than evening, long since Harry had left and the dishwasher had been put on after Tom had made a mess cooking you dinner. Only then did your phone ping with a text message from Sam.

Sam H

‘I dont know what you’ve done to Harry but I’m scared, he’s binge watching one born every minute.’

Immediately you cracked up, knowing that it was his nervous energy and need to ‘be prepared’. Tom, who was lying behind you on the sofa whilst his hands caressing your stomach, jerked his head up intrigued as the what the ‘ding’ was. You showed him and he snorted in laughter too, whilst nuzzling his nose into your neck.

“How did you bring him round by the way?”

“Oh you know, I’ve got all of you wrapped round my little finger when I want.”

“That you do… do you think I should be worried?”

“Nah your just all softies.” Laughing softly, you pulled his arms tighter around you, wiggling back into him a bit more.”

“You didn’t tell him about the godparent thing though?”

“Course not… we can give him a separate heart attack about that.”

[kashimos-hajime]

no regrets (8/8) | r.b.

summary: For the first time, he thinks of a future he could have, and someone who loves him, and there’s something bright in his heart. Or, Reiner finally understands what peace is.

WARNINGS: MANGA SPOILERS!!! angst, mentions of violence, we get our happy ending :) pairing: reiner braun x fem!reader word count: 6.7k

a/n: welcome to the last chapter!! thank you so much for being on this journey with me. there are a few callbacks to previous chapters so see if you can catch ‘em all heheh 

masterlist

crossposted on ao3 x

Few months ago ymir asked if I could let her write one last letter to krista, and I did let her. I stood over her shoulder the whole time, watching her pen down all this sappy shit and I kept thinking about you the whole time, behind those walls. What you were doing, what you were thinking. Maybe if you thought about me. I dont know.

I’m starting to see the appeal of wrting what youre not strong enough to say to a persons face. I never thought Id find myself on the other end of this stick. for some reason, I thought that I could stop myself, resist the temptation, or maybe that I didnt feel for you as strong as I thought I did once I was away from you. I was wrong.

What do I even say? I mean shit, I can barely see, my limbs are barely in tact, and all of it—shiganshina, it haunts me, even though I cant really remember it that well. Half of it goes black and then I remember hearing your voice, I remember Bertholdt, I remember you screaming.

You couldve walked away. why didnt you walk away? It doesn’t make sens. Why did you think to cut me out? Why did you try to save me? Im trying to make it make sense inmy head. It’s not working.

Fuck I dont know what I was thinking when I asked for a paper and pen. Why am I asking you questions? Its not like ill ever understand. At this point, I think it’s pity thats letting Zeke let me waste ink on trying to write straight. He doesn’t know what im doing, but thats better this way. Better than sleeping—better than eating. I just wanna talk to you and this is as close as I can get. Its my own damn fault, but I dont care. 

I completed my mission. After this, im done. ill give up the rest of my term. I dont want any of that glory anymore. I dont want to be a hero. Im just done.

Fuck, my head hurts so much. I dont really know if what im saying is making sense. Im hoping you never read this.

im sorry. I wish I could explain it to you some day, but chances are, ill be dead soon. Whether for treason or because they need to pass on the Titan, and I wont be able to see you again. Which means youll never know how sorry I am. How much I

Thats okay. I dont think youd believe me now even if I did say anything.

I remember your dream to live by the lake with a bunch of kids. You know I started to wonder if youd mind if they were our kids, not just some orphans who needed a home. I’d imagine one of them with blond hair. Imagine them swimming in the lake.

Never told you that was my dream too. Never knew i could have a dream of my own, something only I wanted and not just something to further marleys damn agenda, til I knew you. Sounds stupid but its true.

I think youd like Marley, if we weren’t sworn enemies. Just want you here with me right now. make me sleep easier knowing you’re there when I wake up. 

Dont want secrets either. Fuck I miss you so bad. I feel s o tired all the time. 

I rember when i first saw you all could think about was how you were the most prettiest girl id ever seen. I don know if you know thats why I tried to distance myself. Knew I couldn’t get distracted from my mison. happened anyway. Wish I could tell you that. 

wish I could tell you I love you. Wish I could see the look on yur face when you try lobster for the first time. Youd love it. Not sweet, but tons of desserts here too.

Shit. And the ring on your finger. ill put a ring on your finger. I promised. i swear ill go home and buy a ring for the moment I see you again. Might not be pretty but will do the best I can.

Olnly wnat only wnat only want to see you again and beg for your forgiveness. Let you know if I had a choice, I wouldnt have done it. Would take it all back, nd stay. i wanted to stay, stay with you and the others. I used to want to spend the rest of my life in those walls, now I think im sick and tired of them dividing people who arent even that differnet.

My eyes are beginning to burn. Worse because the skin is sitll growing back. Fucking hell god I miss you. miss your smile more.

I know i dont deserve your forigvneess forgiveness. I want you to be angry with me. I deserve as much, and I cant ask you to, but 

With love,

Rienr

You fold the letter, eyes closing as your fingers trace where the ink bled, the old tear stains wrinkling the paper beyond measure. Some are older than others, and you trace over his name again, your eyes burning, your throat tight enough to suffocate.

You’re leaning against the wall as everyone disembarks. They had taken Eren off first, Hange and the others getting ready to depart for the city while Connie and Jean lift a covered stretcher too white for the vivacious girl that lays dead beneath it.

They pass you silently, and you catch sight of a certain captain approaching, his pale eyes nearly swallowed by the shadows haunting his face.

“Captain,” you say, straightening. Placing the letter back into the tin, you slide it back into your pocket as he folds a green jacket over his shoulder. You give him a nod.

“You made it out alive,” Levi observes. He stops beside you, eyes more focused on what’s ahead. No doubt he’s not looking forward to having to take Zeke to wherever he needs to go—somewhere far, far away from Eren. You cross your arms. 

“It’s good to see you, too, Levi,” you intone. Sighing, you step in beside him and look out at the Walls you can’t see in the distance, your entire body wrought with a strange fatigue that’s only sewn into muscles by adrenaline leaving the body. “I think I’m going to stay.” He tilts his head to you, eyes flickering to your face, and you mirror the shift, your arms tightening. “I can’t leave this unfinished. Not after Liberio.”

“The farm will have to be abandoned,” he points out. “The kids, too.”

“I’ll make sure I move them where someone can take care of them. Somewhere north, far away from the brothers,” you assure, although still, your heart begins to sink and you close your eyes, exhaling deeply. “I have to hope they understand.”

Levi only nods, and you open your eyes as he wordlessly takes the jacket off his arm and offers it to you. Grasping it wearily, you open your mouth to ask questions but he only sets off, back towards the cabin where Zeke is still being held, and you snap your jaws shut, looking down at the jacket.

When you unfold it, you swallow the hard rock in your throat at the blue and white slipping beween the folds of olive green before there’s a sharp whistle. Looking up, you see the carriages already beginning to load up, and you glance back at the door where the captain has disappeared through before jogging down the ramp.

You slither your arms through the sleeves and shuffle the fabric along your frame as something thumps against your thigh, and you frown, reaching down into your pocket and coming into contact with something smooth and hard.

Withdrawing, your lips part at the green bolo tie gleaming in the lights of the port and you, without another thought, pull it over your head, letting it fall against your breastbone. 

“For your services to the Survey Corps.”

There’s no time to second-guess now. No time to debate.

“Good to have you back,” Hange murmurs as you walk towards the carriage taking Mikasa, Armin, and the others back to the city. You tug the lapels of the jacket tighter around yourself and flash them a weak smile. 

The Wings of Freedom on your arm feel like a brand, and it prickles your skin as you climb in after them.

.

Distantly, he remembers flashes. 

Eren reaching forward for Zeke, the exhaustion ripping him every which way, the sound of ODM gear whizzing in his ears as he tries to make sense of the punctured sensation in his armour.

How he had softened his nape, intending to die then. At least, let his death have some meaning, he had thought. Let him make one last effort to repent for everything he did to Paradis, and to his friends who’d been more family than his own mother.

He slips in an out of consciousness for the next few days. He doesn’t know what is up, what is down, but he does recognize his surroundings blearily, the way his head spinning somehow slowing when he presses his temple to the wooden floor.

How can he almost hear your voice in the echoes of the panels, countered by someone who almost sounds like Annie before he drifts off again.

When Reiner finally regains consciousness again, he wakes to someone crouched down in front of him. Jerking up, he lets out a sound before a palm slaps over his mouth and your face is shoved against his own.

“Shut it,” you whisper fiercely. “It’s just me.”

Your name muffled by your own hand, his eyes begin to burn and you lift your palm away as he sits up and you draw back. You’re dressed in clothes that look like they’ve seen better days but you’re relatively uninjured as you pull back. New lines adorn your face—one of the many prices of their damned war—and you only look exhausted. 

Sitting up, Reiner’s whole body groans as he leans against the wall, but he can’t tear his eyes away from you. Your hands are hovering around his body like you’re scared he’ll collapse and there’s a fracture in your mask.

Something gleams on your finger and his eyes flit to it, his heart lurching when he realizes what it is.

The ring. You’re wearing it. You…

For a moment, a glimmer of their teenage selves shine through and he wants to reach for it—touch it so he can remember what it’s like to be happy. He thinks it’s an awful like now; the swelling of his heart so big he can’t breathe; the way his lungs are static in his chest; how he can’t say anything because there are so many words that want to come out first.

“You’re here. You’re alive,” he finally settles on raspily. Your eyes glint with a youthful pain as you nod.

“So are you.” 

And he doesn’t know who moves first—you or him. Nothing is forgiven as their bodies crash in an embrace that lacks grace, but they cling onto another like the world is ending and they’re the only ones left standing. 

Maybe they are.

He buries his face in your neck, and your arms are so tight around him your fingers dig into his shoulders as your body melts against his and his skeleton sags in his own body.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers against your skin, eyes fluttering shut. “I‘m sorry.” A hand against your neck and an arm around your waist, he wraps his legs around your own and traps you against him. You seem to only sink into him even more.

Is that enough? I don’t want you to hate me.

You suck in a breath, and then it comes out shuddering. “You can spend the rest of what life you have left repenting for making me fall in love with a man who was always supposed to die.”

Softly, in his mind, your voice cools the searing heat of hatred inside him. It’s enough. It has to be.

“I’m sorry,” he says again. It’s like they’re the only words he knows. He can’t remember ever meaning it this much. For him dying, for making you love him, for ever coming to Paradis. For loving you. For loving you. “I’m so sorry.”

“I know. I know.��� Your face turns to press against his own. Your lips brush against his jaw and his eyes slide shut, tears rolling down his face. “I read every single one of your letters.” Drawing back, you cup his face in his hands and your fingers smear his tears all over his cheeks as his palm rests against your neck. Thumb stretching up to touch your chin, he feels sobs shuddering in his throat at seeing you again—looking at him almost like you used to. “I can’t begin to understand, but I know you are. And I know you love me.”

Choking, he gasps, “You should hate me.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I should.” You’re crying, too, voice thick, tears stubborn on your cheeks as you give him a watery smile. “I should hate Marley, too. But it’s beautiful there. The water by the sea… I want to be there with you next time. We need to go together, before you leave me alone, okay?”

Reiner doesn’t quite hear you. He hears Marley, and beautiful, and he’s never noticed how beautiful you are when you cry, but right now, it’s the simplest truth he knows. 

“Okay.”

When you tilt his chin up and kiss him softly, something inside him explodes from the gentleness that makes him want to crack in the palm of your hands. It sears him from the inside out, makes him grab onto you like you’ll disappear—this is another dream, isn’t it? 

It has to be. 

You can’t be kissing him again after four years. He doesn’t deserve it. You’re an illusion, something his mind made up to deal with the pain. He’s finally cracked for good, just like Bertholdt said he would, and he’s the devil, not you.

But then you pull away just for a moment to smile, eyes barely open as you look at him with a sad tenderness that wraps him in an invisible embrace, and he is faced with the heart-wrenching reality. 

The sky is falling, you are holding him tightly again, and they’ve lost their years. But you’re here. With him. 

He knows that this isn’t a dream as he feels the coolness of the silver band on your finger and the heaviness in how he knows he hasn’t repented a damn thing. 

Why him?

As you run your hand through his hair, you press their foreheads together.

“And I do want a family with you, by the water if you’d like,” you murmur fleetingly against his mouth and his eyes widen, cheeks burning, entire face crumbling as he turns his face in to your shoulder, crushing you in another brace. Sobbing into your neck, his fingers dig into your shoulders, wrap tight around your waist, squeeze you so close he isn’t sure where you end and he begins and your lips brush the shell of his ear. “Reiner, say it.”

“Please,” he whispers thickly into your skin, and you cradle the back of his head with a hand. He’s nothing more than shambles. “Please, don’t go.”

“I’m not letting you out of my sight again,” you promise. His breath is hot against his own face as you pull his head back and cradle his face again, thumbs brushing away the tears from his red face. “Just a bit more. A bit more and then it’ll be all over, you know?”

And he understands, then, what you want from him. Struggling for breath, for his lungs to stop seizing in his aching chest, he cups your face that turns into his palm on instinct, your face wet with your own tears as, for a moment, they try to pretend this isn’t where they really are.

Like they’re still in that afternoon in Trost, a thousand years ago, with the kids flipping coins into the water fountain and a cream bun between them. Like they’re under the tree, apple juice on your wrist and his lips on yours.

Like it’s those trips to the city, the walks on the Walls. Honey is dripping down your chin and he’s pretending he doesn’t want to kiss you, or there’s grease smeared on his forehead, and you’re reaching up to wipe it off his skin.

Like a thousand moments all at once, and he nods to himself as you brush your hand over his temple. The world outside is startlingly quiet, as if the universe itself stopped everything itself to watch this moment, and Reiner takes a breath that bruises his sternum before he’s holding your left hand where that ring still sits.

And slowly, he pulls it off, whispering as firmly as he can. He’s sure he fails—he’s shaking all over from your presence alone.

“When this is over, I’ll put that ring back on your finger. I promise.”

The smile that splits your face is dazzling. It’s the smile he’s missed since the day he left it.

“We have a lot of things to work out, Reiner Braun.”

And your fingers barely brush his jaw before you’re leaning to press a sweet kiss against his mouth. It’s sugary on his tongue, like honey and apple slices.

.

Your back is warmer when you’re pressed up against Reiner’s. The ship is quiet, and their pinkies are just barely hooked on oen another’s as you stare blankly at the empty space between Connie’s boots. You don’t speak, and Reiner’s gaze is only on you. He can’t look at anything else now that you’re back by his side again.

There’s a cut on your cheek from the fight just half an hour ago, and there’s dried blood along your hands where your knuckles had split open, but everyone seems too exhausted to clean themselves up. 

Reiner himself has a blanket pulled over his shoulders, and he sighs, slouching in his own sack of flesh.

Your head tilts towards him, enough that your temple presses against his cheek. His eyes close and he leans into your touch. Not a word passes by, but their hold on each other’s hands tightens. And Reiner thinks. 

For the first time, he thinks of a future he could have, and someone who loves him, and there’s something bright in his heart. Something that hasn’t burned since he left Marley as a child.

Reiner thinks he doesn’t want to die anymore. He doesn’t want to miss you for another moment.

.

Raising from the steam, you groan, your hands searing from the inside out as you touch your face where you swore every inch of your skin had been stretched, but nothing seems out of sorts as you glance around. Everywhere, all your friends who had turned just as you had are in various states of disoriented. The air is still hissing, crackled with surprised screams and shouts of names as people look for one another across the field. 

It smells like cooked meat and burnt hair, a none-to-pleasant mixture that turns your stomach.

Getting to your feet, you wipe at your face, trying to ignore the weird feeling underneath your nails and the ache seizing your muscles. Trying to ignore the remnants of Eren lingering like a ghost that won’t really leave you alone. You shiver, and a strange cold sweat takes over your body.

He had taken you to the sea, except it wasn’t the shore you were familiar with. There was a cabin nearby, with blonde children running, chasing after one another and a man with golden hair standing on the porch, firewood in his arms as he calls out silently. Or maybe you had been standing too far to hear.

“Eren… where are we?”

“Wherever you think you are,” he had said. “I just brought you where you wanted to be.”

A voice, quiet as a memory, catches your attention. “Here let me help.” A soft wind blows throw the mist, cooling your scorching face as you feel a presence stand behind you.

“Oh, thank you.” You look over your shoulder to see a tall boy, and your heart stops. Mouth dropping open, you stare at his foggy image, but he only smiles fully, a smile so tender it reaches every corner of you as you stumble forward, fingers stretching for him. “Bertholdt!”

His smile grows only that much more, eyes squinting a bit and a flash of teeth before he’s looking at your hand that passes through his chest. All at once, all the hope built up in your chest crumbles, and your hand snaps back, trembling just before him. He lays a hand over your own and your eyes begin to burn, tears slipping down your cheeks.

And then, softly, you barely whisper, “I miss you.”

Bertholdt’s smile merely grows, as if to say everything he couldn’t say before. As if to show he’s at peace now—that your last memory together isn’t every part of him, and your lips press together, trying to stop yourself from shaking.

 Shadows form in the fog, and together, the two look as a freckled boy and another girl steps out of the mist a distance away, beaming like the sun. Connie and Jean stagger to their feet just behind you, and your heart lurches into your throat when you recognize them.

“Marco! Sasha!”

Someone calls your name and you turn around just as arms scoop you up and you let out a surprised noise before settling into Reiner’s arms. Looking over your shoulder to look at Bertholdt, your heart only sinks.

He smiles and Reiner lets out a sharp breath beside you, settling you down. “Bertholdt…” More shapes emerge. A shorter boy accompanied by another taller one, both alike in their features. You recognize one as the Jaw Titan holder before Falco, but the other—

“Marcel!” Reiner chokes out the name, hand stretching out to the fog, but the boy merely tilts his head and waves.

Closing your eyes, hot tears streak over your cooling flesh as you fling your arms around Reiner again and press your face into his neck. He cradles the back of your head, and he feels… somehow weaker, but still, there is that impassable strength in his core that wraps around you as he watches over your shoulder, still clinging on despite your clothes hot enough to burn.

I’m alive, I’m alive, I’m alive, I’m alive. It’s the only thought in your head. Your last clear memory had truly been the others taking flight, and the pain that had ripped apart your body before sewing it back together again in unjust proportions. Your limbs had been too big, your blood racing too warmly through your head as your legs pumped but your brain screamed to stop. 

Your fingers had sank into Reiner’s legs to pull him down and you had watched—watched Jean take a bite out of him—

You shiver and Reiner’s arms tighten around you instinctively, constricting enough to let you know that his attention isn’t on you quite yet.

Boots shifting on the ground tentatively, your knees feel gummy as you draw back long enough to look at him. He still looks over your shoulder, and you follow his gaze to watch the mist retreat. Bertholdt and the other two boys fall into a pool of fog, and your lips part in a farewell, but it’s already too late.

He’s gone.

A wind sweeps through the battlefield, tickling your sweating neck and cooling your boiling blood.

“Hey,” a soft voice croaks.

Their eyes meet in tandem. He regards you softly, like you are the reason the sun rises and the stars hang at the sky. Overwhelmed, you can only cup the back of his neck and pull him into a deep kiss. Your other hand along his jaw, it takes all you can not to pull him into a bone-crushing embrace that’ll send them both to the ground.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” you whisper hushedly against his mouth, throat swelling as he lets out a soft noise of surprise as you pull him into another tight hug. You don’t care that you’re crushing him, just that his heart is pounding against your own chest. “I couldn’t stop myself. I’m so sorry.” 

His eyes widening, he wraps his hands around your wrists and pulling you back just enough to kiss your fingers that crumple against his mouth. Clasping one of his hands in both of your own, you close your eyes and he uses his free fingers to brush the tears off your cheek before reaching into some dented tin you don’t recognize.

Eyebrows furrowing, you feel the heat leave your entire body, sapping your energy too, and your eyes snap to Reiner who steps back, cracking it open and presenting it to you. 

“You’re not the one who has to be sorry. I don’t think I’m the Armoured Titan anymore,” he whispers. “I don’t know if I get the rest of my life back, but either way, I want to spend the rest of it repenting to you in any way I can, if you’ll allow me to.” A weak smile. “Truth.”

Your throat closes up, and you stare down at the ring so protected, gleaming despite the destruction around them. It looks almost out of place amongst the grime smearing your skin, the sweat drenching their skin, the smell of blood and metal clinging to their clothes, but Reiner only watches you with a tenderness you can barely meet. It’s so overtly overflowing with devotion that your heart is resting on your tongue, seizing control of everything. 

You barely nod, chewing on your lip, trying not to cry even harder as his eyebrows rise in relief and he lets out a long sigh.

He lifts the ring out of the tin, snapping it closed before sliding the band back home onto your finger and all at once, everything floods you. The exhaustion, the pain, the hunger, thirst, grief wrapping around your bones and chaining you to the ground.

It’s over.

The minute he put the ring on your finger, it would mean it was over. No more blood, no more fighting.

Just like he promised.

You barely croak out his name before you fall to your knees. You trust him to catch you, and he does.

[THREE YEARS LATER]

Just after the Rumbling had stopped, you had gone back to Paradis alone and came back with three children to a man who was still uncertain in a world that was changing. 

Since then, you’ve learned so much about the world, about yourself, about Reiner. 

How he’s seized by night terrors even now, just like you, and how one thing that soothes it is going out for a walk while the sun still simmers below the horizon, the sky a dark navy blue spliced with orange rays. The intricate details like him making a point to tie his own tie because his father never taught him how or the way he has to chug his coffee so he has enough energy to get through the day.

And some days are horrible, haunting, but now, it is far outweighed by the good. He teaches Xav how to dress smart, takes the girls out shopping. Sometimes, he’s spotted around Liberio with a flame-haired boy riding his shoulders, you trailing behind hiding a smile behind some ice-cream.

Different nations, foods, cultures surround you now—citizens of countries coming to settle down roots, spread cuisine to Marley. The idea before, of humans so different than you but still similar at the root of it all, existing, still blows your mind. The technologies that you had never seen before, languages you’d never heard, sights you’d never seen, had all swarmed you as you stepped into a new world with him.

But there is always one thing you’ll come back to.

Leaning against the railing in the port city Reiner told you was the harbour he had left twelve years ago, and returned to seven years ago, you watch the clouds travel in slow drags across the pale blue canvas hung high above your head. The water spans for as far as you can see, glimmering under the sun and gorgeous enough to take your breath away. You pull at your coat across your chest absently, ignoring the tender growl of your stomach. 

Breathing in the salty wind, you feel your chest expand at the litle fishing boats a little ways out.

Reiner was right. You don’t get sick of the sea. You never will—not of this much water. You still remember the first time you had swam in it, the salt-water making your hair crisp, the cold sweat forming on your your sun-warmed skin.

You feel a hand on your shoulder. Looking up, you spot blonde hair and warm eyes and smile. Your heart flutters a bit. You shift on your feet.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” Reiner leans down beside you, and you clasp your hands, letting the sea wind curl against your neck. Reaching to slip his hand in between yours, he sighs and you lean against his shoulder, glancing at their pile of interlaced fingers. “Are you okay?”

“Of course,” you whisper, although even still, you can feel a numbing at your fingertips. You remember what it was like to be a Titan, even now. The sensations haunt you—flashes of your own mutated body, the grotesque meat of your hands sinking into the ankles of the man beside you, the bloodcurdling roar spilling out of your throat.

Glancing at their fingers, you watch the flashes of silver of the rings play in the sunlight, your band now having a matching counterpart on his own hand. You grasp his hands tightly, bringing them up to your lips and his own grip tightens when you dust a kiss gently along his scarred knuckles.

“No,” you finally say at length. “I’m not okay. Going back to Paradis makes me nervous as hell, but we’ll manage.” He nods slowly, and you let go of his hands to wrap your arms around his neck. His own encircle your waist, pulling you flush against him and your eyes close at the familiar warmth—a warmth you’ve woken up next to most days for the past three years. 

“Have you eaten yet?” he murmurs, and your fingers play with the soft edges teasing at your pads as his nose presses against your cheek. Your eyes flutter at the soft heat emanating from his skin, and you shake your head, melting against him. With one arm still around you, he slants his body away from just enough to pull a bag out of his pocket and it crinkles as he hands it to you. Taking it, you frown and look inside.

A cream bun. You can’t help the crumbling in your expression and Reiner holds your face in his hands carefully, kissing the corner of your mouth.

“Let’s stay positive,” he whispers. “We don’t know the situation until we get there and Historia briefs us.”

“I know,” you whisper and his entire expression eases at your words. His eyes gaze at you as if you’re the sole centre of his universe, and he cups your jaw more insistently, pulling you in for a gentle kiss, one you ease into, your eyes fluttering shut as his tongue traces the seam of your mouth. Laughing, you feel his little nose scrunch and your heart bounds up into your throat as he pulls back only to kiss you again, softer this time.

“Get a room!” A sharp female voice ruins their moment and you pull back just enough to see a red-headed boy running towards them and Reiner crouches down just in time to scoop Xavier up.

“When are you getting married?” he demands. “I was promised cake when you guys got married.”

“I dunno. When you move out of the house I guess,” you tease and Xavier pouts, rubbing at the side of his nose with the heel of his palm.

“Besides, you got cake for your seventh birthday, buddy,” Reiner groans as the boy twists in his arms. “You’re getting heavy. What are you feeding him?” he adds, smiling roguishly at you and you roll your eyes as Alina and Anya approach, sun hats protecting them from the glaring sun. Alina, grocery bags in hand, waves. Anya, who’d been the one to shout, tucks her coin purse back into her bag before flashing you a great big smile.

Only fifteen and seventeen. You can barely recall what it’s like being that young anymore, but you’re grateful they didn’t spend it the way you did. They get to know beauty, and no limits at all. The former comes naturally, the latter is partially because Reiner spoils them rotten.

Alina picks a flower with velvety purple petals from a bouquet she cradles in her arm, extending it to you.

“For good luck,” she says. “And protection.” Your heart melts at her words and you pause for a moment, looking from the gorgeous bloom to Reiner, occupied with the boy in his arms making silly faces at him. Then, without another moment, you sneak the flower behind his ear and he reaches up immediately to hold it against his head, turning to you in surprise. 

“To protect the both of us,” you explain.

“Thank you. I’ll be extra careful now.” He looks at the girls, setting his free hand on Alina’s head heavily and she flushes, smiling grandly. “You three behave while we’re gone, alright?”

You nod. “Listen to Levi.” 

“And listen to your sister,” Reiner adds to Alina and Xavier. The former rolls her eyes, the latter sticks out his tongue. “I’ll miss you.”

This is their home—their family that tumbles together into a huge hug, and you can’t help but stand back, watching how they all seem to merge into one unit, unaware of where one part of their reach ends and another begins.

As Reiner pulls you into the hug, your heart soars through your body, effortlessly pounding in your throat and in your fingers and everywhere at once. Liquid heat pools everywhere as Xavier screws up his face when you kiss his cheek, the same way Reiner does after he’s eaten something sour.

And maybe it’s a bit different, or a bit broken, the shards of their bloody history still poking at their heels whenever they think you’ve forgotten them, and it’s most definitely not perfect, but you would rather have it like this then anything else.

“Hey, guys!” Breaking apart, the family look over to see Armin, Annie, and Pieck walking over. Gabi and Falco meander a little bit behind, pushing Levi in his wheelchair, and Jean and Connie are running not far behind them, shouting at one another. You stifle a laugh and Xavier shimmies out of Reiner’s hold to run towards them. The girls follow after him, trying to hold back their runs but the closer they get, you can tell the more frantic they are to say goodbye.

So this is what they’ve made a peace. Something, you hope, is good.

Annie bypasses them quickly, making her way over to you and you survey her face as Reiner squeezes your shoulder, walking over to their friends. Her blue eyes are fixed on your face, and you feel your lips curving into a smile as she shoves her hands in her pockets. Her hair is swaying in the wind, gleaming flaxen, and you remind yourself, not for the first time, that Armin and Annie’s kids, if they ever decide they want them, will be gorgeous.

Hope for the future, and all that.

She stops in front of you, tucking a strand behind her ear.

“So,” she says at length, “we’re going back to Paradis. I’m surprised you decided to come with us. You don’t owe any of us anything.”

“I know. But… you’re my best friend. You do the talking, I fly the getaway plane, right?”

“Yeah. There used to be a time when it probably would’ve been the opposite.”

You nod, and they stand in silence for a moment, watching each other. Two women who should not have been friends, but were against all odds. You don’t think you would be here today if it weren’t for Annie.

Your heart lurches and you take a step forward just as she does, her mouth open to say something. You throw your arms around her and she lets out a noise in surprise as you close your eyes. Arms coming underneath yours, her hands dig into your shoulders and you smile against soft hair as she sighs, easing into your hug.

“Finally working together on an actual assignment,” you mumble and her head tilts as her small frame shifts, a hand patting you on the back as a sign for you to back up. “Just like we always said we would.” 

Bluntly: “Just don’t do anything stupid.”

“You, too.” Pulling back, the two look at one another for another soft moment before you remember the bag in your hand and you shift the bun up in the bag, extending it towards her. “Want some?” Her eyebrows rise in faint delight, before she’s reaching over, pinching and tearing a piece off. 

You grin and do the same and you gesture for her to come stand by the rails with you, stuffing the bag into your coat pocket. Leaning against the warm metal again, you hear a seagull call. The plane you’ll be flying to Paradis floats on the water, the technicians giving it the final check before you take off.

If anything goes wrong while you help prepare and oversee accommodations for the rest of the ambassador group, you’ll remember to fire the black signal flare, but you trust Historia. You trust your friends.

You glance over at them, all laughing, and you notice that the flower has gone from Reiner to Pieck, who’s taking it out of her dark hair to tuck it into Jean’s, and his cheeks redden as he brushes it more securely behind his ear.

Annie catches your attention again, pointing out idly that they’ll have to separate soon when they finish with the plane, and you tell her to just wait a couple minutes more as Reiner catches your gaze. Setting Xav, who has somehow wormed his way back into his arms, down, he walks back over to you, and his hand trails purposefully over your back before resting at the nape of your neck, a reassuring weight on your body.

“You guys okay?”

“We’re fine,” Annie replies. “You have a clingy boyfriend,” she tells you. 

“I think it’s charming.”

She rolls her eyes. Reiner smiles, and you pat the railing beside you—silent invitation. He leans in on your other side, clasping his hands and watching the fishermen pull themselves to shore, singing a tune to each other—one familiar to all three of them and one that you wish you could get out of your head. 

“Soon may the Wellerman come…”

A faint breeze tickling at your fingertips as a sharp call for embarkment splits the harbour, you simply sigh and look over at Reiner. “I just want these last few moments to last.” His eyes meet yours, and he leans forward to press a kiss between your eyes. Annie lets out a soft noise of disgust and you bump your hip against her as Reiner pulls back.

Closing your eyes and lifting your head to the wind, you can almost imagine the one person missing standing on the other side of Annie, dark hair like spun, stained bronze and eyes like warm chocolate. He’d smile and tell them not to worry in that sincere way of his that makes you believe every word he says—as long as they were careful, they wouldn’t walk into any traps.

Your chest aches, and your lips tug into a heart-wrenching smile as you begin to sing along. Reiner slips a hand in between yours, pressing his temple against your head and you loop your other arm through Annie’s.

She rests her head on your shoulder, listening to your voice, eyes on the sailors bringing in their haul below them. Reiner hums the shanty softly, distractedly, eyes cast across the sea.

You tilt your head up to the sky, at the stars you cannot see but will join one day, and smile.

[thedevillionaire]

Where The Heart Is

So first there was this lovely scenario by @stealthy-sneezing and then I received this insanely flattering prompt from @you-dont-look-so-good and only, uh...three weeks later (LOL, speedy turnaround is an unreliable thing in these parts, I'm afraid) here's my attempt at a little fic based around it. --- Kia doesn’t greet him with her usual kiss good morning as she joins him in the kitchen; she does not, in fact, acknowledge him at all as she passes by. What sleep she’d managed to get had been restless and broken, for a start, and she’s still more than a little out of sorts over last night’s…

Fight?

She’s reluctant to use the term, even to herself. But there had nevertheless been some tensely exchanged differences of opinion, whatever term she gives it. They hardly ever argue and it weighs on her heavily, disproportionately.

She busies herself with breakfast-preparing activities, pointedly avoiding the dining bench where her bonded sits wrapped in a plush burgundy dressing robe and an almost tangible aura of bleariness which suggests that he didn’t sleep particularly well, either.

And there’s no question that he’s…not sounding his best.

Cerberus takes a sip of his steaming coffee, sniffles sharply and rubs his nose with firm frustration against the itch that’s been bothering him since waking, flicking his gaze momentarily across to Kia in a cursory attempt to ascertain her mood.

She very deliberately looks away.

Maybe, she thinks with more than a touch of snippiness as he sniffles again,you should have come home when you said you would. It’s totally possible to delegate sometimes, you know. Like, just once, even, maybe? And while she doesn’t Mindsend him her thoughts, she certainly wills them into the aether. Just a touch.

It’s not even about being late, though, she continues internally, making her point to herself with conviction as she peers into a second cupboard for the blackberry spread she can’t seem to find, I don’t care if you’re late, really, it’s about promising me for the third time this week that you wouldn…

The hitch in his breath severs her sentence momentarily but she doesn’t intend to…

“Huh-TSCHH-uu!”

Kia’s own breath catches a little, too, although she keeps her focus resolutely fixed on the cupboard’s interior; she does not want to engage right now and she’s not going to…

“Hh-TSCHH-uu! Ah-TSSCHHhuu! hh-hhH… Hh-AAHTSCH-uu!” Rapid and forceful, urgent, an increasing desperation evident, and she chances a peripheral glance at Cerberus, her ability to concentrate on anything else hijacked into a weighted anticipation almost as singular as his, despite her not wanting to…

A deep inhalation scissored and insistent, a frozen expectant moment and he gives in again to the maddening itch twice over. “Hhh… hh-TSSCHH-uu! Ah-hh-TSSCHH-uu!” Several sharp sniffles follow; he excuses himself reflexively, habitually, another sniffle following in short order, accompanied by a faintly exasperated sigh and snarlwhispered fuck’s sake.

“Bless you,” Kia says quietly, downplaying her usual heartwarm tone a touch but she doesn’t have it within herself to not acknowledge him. And she can’t help the twinge of concern she feels – or indeed any…other sort of interest – but she doesn’t want her resolve to weaken any further. Not yet, at least.

I’m still mad at you. Stop it.

He nods a perfunctory thankyou for the blessing; she hasn’t turned around so doesn’t notice.

The blackberry spread seems determined to remain unfound and she decides that muscat will do, or whatever’s in this jar, she thinks it’s muscat, it’s not important, really, whatever, does she even want toast, she just needs to…

The sound of a hurriedly claimed fresh succession of tissues being pulled from the box, and her focus dissolves anew.

“Hh-TSCHH-uu!”

And she can sense the expectation of recurrence in his shaky not-quite recovery, his breath unsettled, irregular, and god getting breakfast should really not take this much effort, maybe she’ll just have a cup of tea, this is ridiculous, and from the urgency of gasped inhalation she knows doubtless that he’s going to…

“Huh-AHSSCHuu! Ah-TSSCH-uu! Goddamn it, what the hell is…” Another series of sniffles follows and Cerberus blows his nose, wetly and ineffectively, and with no pause save for a suddensharp gasp, stifles a further sneeze immediately thereafter. “HXTchu! Ugh…” He groans and coughs convulsively from the effort, pushes disarrayed midnight from watering eyes, and growls an undertone of vexation. As if this morning wasn’t uncomfortable enough already.

He coughs again and clears his throat. “Excuse me,” he murmurs, wipes his nose several times, and sniffles again.

“Bless you,” Kia says again, only this time the words come true, sincere, empathic. There’s a resignation in her bonded’s voice that she’s unable to ignore, and her brow creases – something is clearly wrong, and her residual anger over yesterday’s events begins to fall aside in the face of genuine concern, and now she turns to face him.

He sighs heavily as his eyes meet hers. “I, um… *snf!* I don’t mean to disturb you.”

“You’re not disturbing me.” Well, you are, but… She closes the cupboard door, leans back against it, any remaining thoughts of breakfast forgotten. “What’s going on?”

“I have n…” His breath catches, but with controlled if shaky exhalation he manages to fight off the urge and stay on course. “I have no idea. Just can’t seem to… *snf!* Can’t seem to stop.” He looks at her with an expression somewhere between irritated chagrin and cautious detachment. “It’s alright. You don’t need t…to… hpt-XCH!” A quiet groan as Kia blesses him again and gently tells him not to stifle; he nods in agreement with her point as he returns to his own. “You don’t need to worry,” he finishes tiredly, taking another handful of tissues and blowing his nose again.

“Huh. You know,” Kia says, “I was actually trying not to, but… I don’t know, you’re not exactly making it easy or something.” She sighs quietly, not unkindly, and crosses the distance between them. “Okay, though, for real. What’s going on?”

:Karmic debt, perhaps?: Cerberus Mindsends, and offers her a darkly rueful smile as he vaporises the latest clutch of used tissues. “You didn’t secretly burn birchbark in here as revenge for last night, did you?” The sniffle following is intentionally pathetic; he runs an index finger along the underside of his nose and glances at his bonded with eyebrow arched in enquiry.

“Oooh.” Kia shakes her head, narrows her eyes at him as if in consideration, and smiles wryly. “You sure you want to give me ideas like that today?”

Cerberus manages a brief chuckle before his focus dissolves unstoppably stolen, relentless urgency returning and he capitulates to cresting need posthaste and absolute – powerful, emphatic, desperate. “Huh-hhAHTSSCHhuu! Ah-TSSCHH-uu! Gods! *snff!*” With a deep sigh, he pushes ebony heaviness from his eyes again, looks up to meet his bonded’s gaze in dishevelled and somewhat hazy self-deprecation. “And thus my brilliant plan to be as unobtrusive as possible this morning continues its wild run of success,” he remarks dryly, claiming a new couple of tissues with purposeful emphatic flourish and another sniffle.

And the last of Kia’s resistance falls away, her heart melting, any remnant vestiges of irritation and indignance cracking, fading, and none of it is important anymore. “It’s okay,” she murmurs, gentle, kind. “You know, I do still love you even when you’re totally wrong about stuff and it’s all your fault,” she adds playfully, then rolls her eyes with a light scoff and affected exasperation. “Wow, I really did mean to be mad at you for a bit longer than this, though.”

She smiles at her bonded, open and affectionate, and Mindsends him a tenderwarm :Bastard.:

Cerberus laughs quietly, sardonically, and wipes his nose. “Well, I’m certain I’ll not be coming home late tonight, in any case.”

Moving to stand behind him, Kia strokes a gentle hand through his hair, touches a kiss to the top of his head as he leans back into her embrace with an enervated soft hum of pleasure.

“Maybe just…maybe just stay home today, sweetheart.”

---

[hwangsies]

[10:24 pm]

johnny suh × female reader

warnings: a little angst, mentions of infidelity & heartbreak, johnny is whipped af, smut as in: fingering, unprotected piv, finger sucking, dom!johnny, begging, spit, some hairpulling, praise kink, size kink (cmon its johnny)

2.1 k words,

enjoy <3

-

You sigh and give up when the window you're trying to close doesnt move.

Three knocks on your door have you whipping around "yea?"

In comes johnny "hey, i just wanted to check on you"

You breathe "i cant get this window to close, i think its broken" you mumble.

"oh, no its always like this, hold up" he walks over to you, placing one hand on the window handle and the other on its frame before harshly pushing it close.

"there" he grunts, you gulp when sneaking a peek of his arms where his shirt has ridden up "now you dont have to sleep in the cold" he chuckles.

"thank you" you mumble as you walk over to your bed for now.

"you okay?" he frowns when you sit down on the edge of the bed.

"yea just-thanks again for letting me crash here, now that i'm kinda homeless" you chuckle ironically.

Your ex had kicked you out after finding out you did to him what he did to you, cheat.

You know it wasnt the right way to deal with it, but it just happened.

So naturally you had to bother your cousin, jaehyun, the only relative who lives close to you, if you could crash at his dorm for a few nights.

"of course y/n" johnny sits down next to you "we're all here to help if you need anything" one of his large hands finds your knee and you look up at him.

"did you come here just to check up on me?" you ask carefully, not wanting to scare him off.

The tall man sighs and runs a hand through his brown locks "i mean, we havent really talked since...you know" he gestures "and know he broke up with you because of it, and i just fee-"

"dont finish that sentence" you cut him off, locking eyes with him "he cheated on me first, and i know i shouldnt have been this petty, but you were just at the wrong place at the wrong time. its my fault, not yours"

"okay" he mumbles, nodding slowly.

"you didnt tell jaehyun? right?" you inquire.

He laughs "are you kidding? He would kill me" johnny shakes his head "i'm his best friend, i'm not supposed to seduce his little cousin"

"okay first of all, i'm not that little, and second of all i seduced you big boy" you joke lightheartedly, at which he scoffs gently.

Johnny was always a good friend who you just saw as another older cousin like jaehyun. But then that one night, a couple nights ago, arose and you were drunk and he looked so good.

And he was so kind and listened to your worries, even when you were probably slurring most of them.

Johnny himself didnt mean to get caught in this dilemma, he had driven you home after a long night of drinking on your end.

But when he brought you up to your apartment that you shared with your now ex, who was out that night; probably doing worse stuff that you, and you practically threw yourself at him, he couldnt tell right from wrong.

Not when in comes to you.

You deserve someone better than that, was what johnny thought, he still thinks.

Your words that made him stay the night are still ringing in his head.

'every girl would be lucky to have someone like you'

'I wish i had someone like you'

'johnny, i need you'

"johnny" you speak again.

"yea?" he gets ripped out of his daydream and looks at you, god even when you've been crying you look beautiful.

He wishes you could tell you that.

"can you hold me?" you ask sheepishly.

"just for a few minutes...please?" you add when he hesitates.

Johnny looks over at the closed door before looking at you again, you blink at him with those beautiful eyes of yours, slightly sucking your plump bottom lips in between your teeth.

Everyone had already gone to bed, but he's still aware of the fact that your cousins room is right above the spare room, the both of you are currently in.

"yea, of course" he quietly agrees.

Once laid down, he spoons you from behind, tucking you into the blanket.

He's trying not to think about the smell of your shampoo, thats clouding his loungs, or how small you are in his hold, or how much he wants to intertwine his fingers with your smaller ones.

"johnny?" you speak softly after some time, as if not to startle him.

"yes?" he mumbles just as carefully.

You inhale deeply before turning around to face him.

"hi" he smiles softly, with gentle eyes.

You mom always told to to fall in love with someone with gentle eyes, you never knew what that looked like until you looked into his.

"hi" you say back before slightly clearing your throat"i meant what i said that night"

"what excactly?" he asks "you said alot of things i didnt think you'd remember the next day"

You huff in a smile as you shuffle closer to him, he smells like his cologne and dry cleaning.

Its familiar and you feel safe, always.

"that i wish i had someone like you, and that i need you" you repeat your words from said night.

Johnny sucks in a breath "y/n"

"please" you lock eyes "i want you" you cradle one of his cheels in your hand.

"you're vulnerable and it would be wrong of-"

"but its doesnt feel wrong!" you interrupt him "does it?"

"no" johnny breathes out before he can think, which you take as your sign to press your lips to his, in almost the same desperate way as you did a couple nights ago.

He doesnt hesitate to part the seam of your lips with his tongue before sitting up in between you legs without breaking the kiss.

Quickly, you push yourself up a little to take off his shirt.

You mewl when his hand rubs you over your shorts and he kisses your neck, running your hands up his ripped torso.

"gotta be quiet baby girl" he whispers into the skin below your ear before sitting up.

"can you do that for me?" he asks while pulling off your shorts.

"can you be quiet for me?" you raise your hips as you nod at his request, him pulling off your panties as well.

"good girl" he praises, dropping a kiss to your knee. Your wet pussy awaiting him, already glistening in the dimmed lights.

"fuck" he groans when slowly sliding one digit through your folds.

A soft gasp tumbles from your lips and your toes curl.

Hooking your right leg over his shoulder, he gently pushes one of his long fingers into you.

Your back arches when he rubs your clit with his thumb before adding a second.

"that feels so good" you moan, gently rocking your hips.

"yea?" he grins, slightly scissoring his fingers to stretch you out for his cock.

His other hand travelling up your sweater and palming your breasts as he thrusts his fimgers into you at the perfect angle.

"johnny-fuck" you groan when the flicks on your clit increse in speed.

"gonna cum, baby?" he mumbles, dick straining against his sweatpants.

"yes-oh!" you moan out, at which johnny moves his hand away from your breast to hold onto your jaw.

"shhh baby" he grits through his teeth before pushing two of his fingers into your warm mouth.

You instantly moan around the digits, feeling your high approach rapidly.

"cum for me pretty baby"

One of your hands is pulling at the sheets while the other is holding onto johnnys forearm for dear life when you cum.

Your eyes screwing shut as your body thrashes with pleasure, white blooming behind your lids as he rides you through it.

"thats it, good girl" he gently massages your walls while you're still sucking on his fingers.

Johnny retreats both sets of fingers out of you, to pull you up into a stitting position.

You moan against him when he kisses you deeply.

Nimble fingers making their way to the hem of your oversized sweatshirt and stripping you of it when he breaks the kiss.

Pushing you down on your back again, his plump lips attach to your left nipple at which you moan softly.

"johnny, please" you whimper.

"mmh" his lips move to your neck, licking and kissing the sensitive skin there.

"I love it when you beg for me baby girl" he grins against your skin before pulling away to rid himself of his pants.

"sound so pretty saying my name like that" he mumbles before getting a good grip on your hips and flipping you over with zero to no effort.

You squeal when his hands pull up your hips, instinctively you prop up on your hands to see what he's doing, but he pushes your torso down again.

"fuck me, please" you whimper when he spreads your cheeks to get a good look at your sex.

"goddamm" you hear him curse before an obscene spit noice fills the room and you feel it splatter against your pussy.

You clench around nothing, which he sees and chuckles at before dipping his head and licking a flat stripe from your clit up to your opening.

"fuck-" your body jolts a little "please , john- fuck me"

"hmm, as you wish, love" your hole flutter once more at the petname before he pushes in carefully.

A groan tears from your throat, but you're quick enough to muffle it with the pillow.

"fucking hell- tight little pussy is not gonna fit all of me" he grunts as he spreads your ass cheeks again to see how tightly your walls are hugging him.

"more, please" you beg once more and he pushes inside of you all the way before quickly bottoming out.

"fuck" his voice is shaky and you feel a sense of pride come over you.

He picks up a good pace, his girth and lenght filling you up to the brim and hitting your spot with every stroke.

You moan and whimper into the pillow as johnny snaps his hips into you with an iron grip on your hips.

He feels the way you clench around him "you close baby?" he moans.

You lift your head to let out an affirmative whimper before he gathers some of your hair in one of his hands and tugs at the roots.

A whine leaves your lips before a second hand comes down to your breast and pulls your torso up and flush against his.

The arch in your back is uncomfortable but you barely feel it by the way he's fucking into you.

His hand leaves your hair in favour to cover your mouth, pressing the back of your head to his shoulder, when you yelp out at a paticular harsh thrust.

"come on baby, i know you're almost there" he rasps into your ear, the hand on your breats leaving in favor for your clit.

You groan into his hand when the pads of his fingers move over the sensitive nub at a fast pace.

You hold onto johnnys bulging biceps when you feel like you're about to explode.

"cream all over my cock baby girl, come on" his words send you spiralling into your second high of the night.

Your cries of pleasure get muffled by his hands, you feel your thighs trembling and ready to give out but he holds you up.

The overstimulation stets in and you jolt, pressing on his hand to move away from your clit.

The hand on your mouth moves as well before he bottoms out and flips you on your back again.

He looks sweaty but divine, muscles glistening in the faint lighting and some hair sticking to his forehead.

"wont last long anymore baby" he pulls you down slightly before pushing inside of you again.

You whimper and grab him by the neck, pulling him down to connect your lips as you wrap your legs around his waist.

His thrusts get sloppy as you kiss at his neck.

"cum in me, please johnny" you moan quietly into his ear, holding on to his shoulders.

His name on your lips makes him loose his composure, spilling his seed into you with a hiss and burying his face into your neck.

"i love you" he chants breathlessly before he realises that he's actually saying it out loud and not just thinking it.

Your body freezes when you hear his sweet confession.

"you do?"

-

a/n: turned a little more mushy than i had intended but oh well.

also not proofread yet, soz🤫

[malereader-inserts]

Something Worthwhile

Fandom: BBC Sherlock Pairing: Mycroft Holmes & Brother!Reader & Sherlock Holmes Summary: It’s hard being a Holmes sometimes, especially when you’re alone Word Count: 1,470 Request: Holmes brother who is having difficulties fitting in with his two smart, intelligent and brilliant brothers. He feels left out and alone and ends up isolating himself further. Somehow John is the only one who notices this but Sherlock and Mycroft dont believe him because they dont think a Holmes brother is capable of such feelings so John has to properly lecture them on feelings and stuff and then they search for reader and help him out of the slums. Sorry if this is too long A/n: Y’all be linking brotherly holmes stuff.

“I could be greater.”

John looks at you, at the doorway, watching you stretch your back, moving boxes surrounding you. You get out a groan at the sweet release of stress leaving your tense muscle, clicking parts of your body as John just stares at you.

He came to visit, check up on you, you had been awfully quiet for a while and he got worried. What he had not expected to see you packing your belonging to move houses. 

“What?” He looks at you confused as you looked at him, a smile but it wasn’t comforting.

It was a smile of tiredness, you shrugged your shoulders.

“I could be greater, you know? Compared to Sherlock and Mycroft, I could be painfully greater.”

“You’re already great.”

“Are you sure? I can hardly keep up with Sherlock and Mycroft, one of them is one of the greatest detectives and the other one is working with the Government. And me?” You scoffed, shaking your head, “I’m not as great as them.”

“So, you’re moving?”

“Uh, isn’t that obvious?”

John looks around, you’re a lot human, easier to relate to as a Holmes. But, he understands to be the odd one out. He can’t fault you for feeling that. He asks you if you need help, you smile and shake your head, waving he off. John tells you that he’s off, if you ever need him he’s only a phone call away - you looked grateful for that.

After that, he doesn’t see you or hear from you. He goes to check your old apartment, it’s cleared out, empty almost as if it’s getting ready to get renovated. It was abandoned and the warmth you gave the house, was washed away. John doesn’t know what you’re thinking, but you’ve disappeared.

It worries John.

You hated your brothers, just as much as you love them. They were ahead of the game, ahead of life. They’re producing such brilliant works, but you were left behind. You were three steps ahead of the game but your brothers were nine steps ahead. You were walking with life, whilst your brothers are running past it. You could never be your brothers, and it was hard for you to understand that.

Your mother and father have had high expectations after both Mycroft and Sherlock being ahead of their classes, they expected you to be the same. But, you weren’t. You were top of the class, but that hardly meant anything to them. It got tiring to try to keep up with them.

So, you found yourself a place, across London, furthest away from Sherlock’s apartment. It was small but cosy, it was your safe space, plants everywhere, handing from the ceiling, all content in your loving presence. Your cat that lounges around the house currently draped over the back of the sofa. 

The living room was clashing with different colour, but you like that, it was vibrant, you don’t do dull things. If you’re going to take your time with life then you might as well think the world is in bright colours like an indie filter on Instagram. 

You have to romanticise your little life if it means to distract you from your brothers. That means thinking every time you cook, you have to believe you’re in a Studio Ghibli movie, where all the food looks mouth-watering.

You were happier, being away, isolating yourself away. 

It doesn’t settle well with John. 

So, when he had returned home from work and saw both Holmes brothers, he sat them down, his arms crossed over his chest looking angry at them. Though, to Sherlock that’s how John looks all the time. He gave them a good earful, even Mrs Hudson went upstairs to investigate what was happening. Even she gave her own opinion as well.

But, with both brothers, they took nothing in.

They look at them blankly.

“That’s not (Y/n),” Sherlock breaks the silence with a chuckle, a smile that could freak anyone out, but John was too pissed off with him that he wanted to punch it off.

“Yes, our brother is fine, but I do thank you for the concern,” Mycroft says politely as he flinches at John’s intense glare, “Anyway, (Y/n) doesn’t feel that, if he was, he would have told us.”

“Really?” John asked, scoffing, shaking his head with an unsettling chuckle that made both Holmes brother sit upright, “Why would he tell you what he’s feeling when you constantly dismissing him when he feels anything but confidence?”

“I-”

The brothers wanted to intervene, but this has ticked John off beyond belief. It had prompted him to rant to them that both brothers were afraid to interrupt because after all, John was making sense for once. For once, an average smart man was talking so intelligently that they felt like they were reduced to nothing.

“He tells you that his emotions have been overwhelming, you tell him to get over it. When he can barely get out of bed because he feels like the world is resting upon his shoulders you tell him to grow a thicker skin. When he cries, you tell him its a sign of weakness, he looks for his brothers for guidance but his brothers tell him to look for it himself.”

“John-”

“For God’s sake, he told me he was in therapy because he doesn’t want to tell you because you’d see him as a disappointment. He’s trying so hard and every achievement he does - it gets brushed under the rug. He thinks he has already disappointed your mother and father, God only knows what he’s thinking now to know that his brothers have abandoned him.”

“But, we haven’t,” Sherlock mutters out so softly, John could tell that he was ashamed in himself.

“I don’t even know where he is. He hasn’t been picking up my calls or replying to my messages, I don’t know where he moved.”

“He moved?” Mycroft asked, astounded, as John sighs.

John rubs his forehead, hand on his hip, looking exhausted and stress. Nodding sheepishly. John has been trying hard to locate you but London is a big city with various different apartments. He doesn’t know if you had moved far from your old place, he doesn’t have a brain like the Holmes, he couldn’t deduce where you intend to go.

“Yeah, so while to try to find him. Both of you are going to think of a good apology.”

“How are you so calm? He could have killed hi-”

“He told me that he wouldn’t do that because the thought of his cat thinking he had abandoned her hurts him more than ending it all.”

With a statement like that, the brothers wonder how bad they caused your pain.

Sherlock and Mycroft walk up to your apartment, the stairs were nice - both brothers noticed, you like that because you hated stairs, especially steep ones. They knocked on your door, hoping it was you on the other side.

They can hear your record player playing some songs, though with the door shut it was hard to tell what was playing. They knock again, before hearing your footsteps and the door opening.

“Why are you here?” You asked, your brothers hurt with no greeting and no smile to come along with it.

“John expressed his concerns,” Mycroft says, swallowing his pride, “It has made up realise that we have-”

“We have fucked up as brothers,” Sherlock completed.

“Charming,” Mycroft mutters bitterly.

“I don’t want to talk to you,” You were about to slam the door but Sherlock was strong enough to keep the door open with just the strength of his left arm, “Leave me alone.”

“No, we’re not leaving until we fix our mess. We’re brothers, our parents have given us hell and it’s not fair for you to go through their hell all by yourself,” Sherlock says firmly before eyes softening, “Please (Y/n).”

“You don’t have to talk, you can just listen,” Mycroft says as a compromise, to meet you in the middle, “We know that you’re not going to forgive us right away, but, we don’t want you to be alone again.”

You stand there in silence, before huffing out, opening the door wider and standing to the side. Your brothers entering your home; it smells a lot like you. You shut the door behind them, your cat seeing your brothers and instantly stretching and walk towards you. 

Jumping up in your arms, your cat stares his sharp glaring eyes towards your brothers as if he was warning them.

Your brothers seemed unsettled as they sit down, they’re not prepared for the talk ahead of them. They don’t expertise in the subject of feelings and relating to others, but if it means to keep you around longer.

It’s something worthwhile to do.

[shesawriter39049]

|FEVER| M|

Pairing: Namjoon X Reader

About- Namjoon just has a kink for letting you do whatever the hell you want with him...Whether that be putting him in a hot pink suit shirtless! Or, telling him he’s a good boy as he fucks you into oblivion!

OR- Namjoon and yourself hooked up 5 months ago when the boys were in London on Tour, and you were the creative director for there British GQ & Harper’s Bazzar Cover! Now, months later he’s prepping to release his second mixtape “RM vs Rap Monster”. Opting to go a complete 360 from his first release Mono in all realms. So, with that being said BigHit thinks he needs someone with a little more... “umph” Take a wild guess as to who they call...

WC:1.2k (Sneak peek)

WARNINGS: Switch OC (Top & Bottom...but there's no real dom/sub tones here) Service top/power bottom Namjoon, praise kink, Fingering, Unprotected sex(Back shot), come play, dirty talk, light choking, light overstimulation, (This is lowkey a little softer than it sounds) The OC kinda leads this, but Joon isin’t the cliché “sub” he just likes letting her take control.

NOTE- Just my take on the OG cliché Artist X Stylist AU (Though she’s more of a full package, Art Director/Stylist/Photographer ETC) I have tried to add some minor elements to make it a little more realistic. I will say I typically stray from “Idol-verse” just because if we’re being real, the cultural difference alone sometimes stunts my creativity...BUT I just had a little fun with this one...so I hope you all enjoy it. Also, I don’t go into much physical details but in my mind regardless of race, aesthetic wise the OC is a huge contrast to what he’s use to which is part of her appeal. I picture a tatted Barbie of some sorts...

SIDE NOTE: No shade, but shade, I was lowkey inspired to write this bc I have very strong opinions about the creative team at BH....

*** Let me know if you guys want the full thing or not...I kidna flaked on posting because it is such a cliché lol

SONG- FEVER DUA LIPA  FT ANGELE

~~~~~~~

“Well, it’s a yes for me” Eyeing him in this Hot pink-fitted Burliti suit, which you paired with a very sheer black Arnar Mar turtle neck. The minute you saw the piece on the runway you’d been dying to get it on someone with melanated skin, and it just so happens, the boys are fresh off the US leg of their stadium tour! So, lucky for you, baby boy’s been in the sun a lot, and Namjoon’s currently a sinful shade of brown and you're totally here for it…

Then to top it off, the mesh material of the turtle neck creates the perfect silhouette around his offensively toned chest, outlining the muscles sinfully. Eternally snorting at the way the fans are gonna thank and curse you out all at the same damn time once they see the looks you’ve pulled for this man!

And yes, you had your crew bring extended shades of foundation and concealer, because his face and neck will match if your name is going to be attached to these damn photos! 

Head tilted to the side as you silently observe the way he rakes over his reflection in the mirror, it’s a sixth sense you’ve acquired as a stylist at this point. Half of your job is essentially being a hype man/self love coach, real shit, a lot of these artist aren't always as...confident as one may think!

And just like clockwork Namjoon runs his palm down his thighs, smoothing out nonexistent wrinkles on his pants for the umpteenth time in the span of oh I don’t know 30 seconds? Which in turn prompts you to say….

“You look good Joonie...” Musing over your second glass of Don, the compliment was genuine, tone warm, soothing even, not a hint flirtation insight because that wasn’t your motive. You weren’t trying to get him flustered you’re just trying to gas him up a little, you wanted to see Namjoon get alittle cocky and feel himself!

Ears perking up like an overgrown puppy, head whipping in your direction “Yeah?” The way this man’s eyes just lit up like the soul skyline. I just-goddamn, an almost bashful smile toys on those plush lips of his, and you can’t help the way your chest flutters with nothing but fondness.

“So fuckin cute” Flutters off your lips, as you hide a smile of your own behind a half empty whine glass. The delivery was so faint it almost go lost in the background music floating through the air. However the slight flush hitting his cheeks let you know Namjoon heard you whether he wanted to admit it or not!

”Mmmhmm, the color looks fuckin insane against your skin, not to mention, the way everything's going to pop once we tone your hair a little! “ Eyes drinking him in from head to toe, though there was nothing suggestive playing within your iris. Very much aware of time and place and right now your genuinely looking respectfully! Seeing if any alterations are needed, making sure you like where everything sits along his frame. Making notes in your phone of places you want to pin and adjust later...snapping a couple shots here and there. 

Licking his lips anxiously as he plays with the lapels on the blazer “But like-I mean-I- dont’-It doesn’t look like I’m... trying too hard or anything?” Brows furrowed in the center of his face, jaw tight, wincing slightly at his own words, almost as if he was afraid of your response. The vulnerability within his delivery was more than evident, and no matter how common this is with artist, it’s still just as devastating! Regardless of how much he tried to play it off as if he was just making casual conversation, you can see how blatantly uncomfortable he is . Gazing back at you wide eyed, and uncannily exposed, pointing at the outfit in question. Licking his lips anxiously as he plays with the the blazer, switching posses subtlety trying to get a better feel for the suit.  

You stayed silent for a minute, taking the time to actually process before speaking which is rare, not gonna lie. Gaze piercing as you hop off the bed, wine, and accessories in hand, swaying closer. “It’s fashion”. The baited pause almost implied that’s all you had to say, as if one-word was self-sufficient, and in your mind it was...but you knew better than to just leave it at that.

“Art at its finest Mr. Kim” You smile something a little devious, and he flushes even deeper as you slowly start to invade his space eyes locked with him meaningfully. You can physically see the shift, the closer you get, Namjoon starts fidgeting slightly under your gaze but he doesn't back down.

“It gives you room to play, create...it’s something that let’s us connect to people without saying a damn thing.” Suddenly the hand that wasn’t holding your alcohol has become a prop, flailing around haphazardly as you spoke, pointing at the various pieces hanging on clothes racks in your suite! The penthouse has essentially been transformed into your own personal walk in closet for the next 5 or so days! “It’s a statement. A opportunity to tap into a side of yourself that maybe you can’t always verbally articulate to the world around you! More importantly, it’s supposed to be fun, it’s literally something that can be removed within seconds! I mean we all have to wear clothes so why not just enjoy it?”  Head cocked to the side as you appraise him, brow quirked, eyes warm, yet there's a clear challenge playing within your gaze.

Namjoon’s watching you intently, almost as if he’s taking mental notes as you speak...the heaviness within those dangerously honed eyes of his could almost be unsettling to some, but you quite like it. Made you feel as though he actually gives a flying fuck about what you’re saying.

“In my opinion the only time it looks like someone’s “Trying too hard” Making little air bunnies with your spare hand “Is if they look uncomfortable in what they’re wearing, confidence is key, and I know you know that better than anyone RM!” You muse batting your lashes in Namjoon’s direction, and he dimples back at you, eyes sinking into tiny crescents, face rivaling the color of his suit, trying to hide said smile behind his own glass of champagne.  

“I could put you in a damn clown suit...” Words trailing off your tongue lackadaisically as you grow distracted searching the bar for a specific chain from John Hardy. “Which” Focus snapping back in his direction making the later splutter a little “Would be fire as fuck if I did by the way, but-”  Namjoon ended up cackling midsentence, almost choking on his drink in the process, fist pounding against his sternum.

Yeah..killing the leader of Bangtan wasn’t really high on your list tonight....

“Ayee, none of that shit...” Smacking him in the back a little more so just to be an ass because he wasn’t even choking anymore “Don’t die on me until we at least get this damn photoshoot done, I had to cancel my trip to Jamaica for this shit!”

Now he’s damn near choking and his laugh was contagious, it’s just.. loud, carefree so yes, your cackling, and there's nothing cute about it. But you honestly don’t care, you let yourself get lost in it! Finally able to feel the atmosphere in the room start to shift to something a little less scripted and a little more organic...

Throwing his hands in the air as If he’s waving a nonexistent white flag “I’m sorry, noona” There’s a pout playing in his lips, not exactly aegyo per say, but it’s fuckin adorable “Blame PD-nim, it’s his fault we had to do this so last minute” Wheezes from his throat, in the form of a slight whine, almost rivaling Jimin if I’m honest.

You already know he was laughing more so due to your delivery, specifically, your casual use of profanity over anything else. This is actually something you use to be self-conscious about, especially at your first shoot with the boys, at the shoot for GQ . Well aware it wasn’t as common in Asia for people especially women to use “fuck” like a comma. So you were hoping they wouldn’t be offended, or uncomfortable by your dialect, and, thankfully they didn’t seem to mind. Much like Joonie over here, they found it entertaining over anything.

“Yeah, a huh, sureee...” Eyes rolling to the back of your head playfully as you start lightly altering the suit in question with clips and pens. “Stay still babe” The pet name slipped off your tongue effortlessly, honestly, that's what you call most people in your life. However you were far too focused to notice how wide eyed and flustered the man before you became upon hearing it directed at him so casually.

A faint little “Sorry” muses off his lips as he gnaws on his inner cheek, trying to stay still as you ghetto-rig hems into place until you can get this under your sewing needle.

“ No, but real shit…” You sigh, taking on a slightly more serious tone “If you step in front of that camera like you own the bitch, regardless of what your wearing..., then they can’t tell you shit! If your comfortable there’s no such thing as trying too hard” You shrug nonchalantly like that was the simplest concept known to man, downing the rest of your drink “Alright, that’s all, thanks for coming to my Ted talk” Waving him off as if you’re about to leave the room and he pouted playfully, jokingly begging you not to leave him yet...it felt good to be able to banter like this. The shift continuous shift within the atmosphere was more than welcomed…

Hesitantly you watch his eyes find their way back to the full length mirror, which promptly smacks you back to reality!

Unfortunately you didn't fly all the way to Seoul just to drink,  and shoot shit with Namjoon for hours on end,  your actually here to work…

Sooo...

“Alright” Placing your arms on his shoulders, giving him a reassuring squeeze as you peer over his shoulder. Meeting his gaze through the glass, chin resting gently against the blade. “Back to the reason you came Mr. “I’m sooo anxiously” Shooting him a teasing little smirk in the process “The suit, yay or nay”

So, here’s the thing technically the official fitting is tomorrow, and as far as his team knows he’s in the studio with Yoongi and Hoseok finishing up a song!

Which of course raises the question as to why he’s here..alone..mind you..no staff or security in site.

Just Kim Namjoon and yourself.....

~~~~

Heyyyy, Lemme know if you guys want this or not, it will leave kinda open ended because it was supposed to kinda be a 3 part mini series initially. Part 1 ends the morning of the shoot, the full thing is set to be around 6/7k! Spoiler, the company is going to want to keep her around for more than just Namjoon’s solo project....

Also, YES...I did see that they actually put Tae in that Burliti suit (I wrote this long before that shoot was released)...I actually hated the way it was styled it though...I never thought I’d say this but MGK’s team did a better job than BH....

[oscar-lettjohanssonloveme]

Little Sunshine (Miss Venable x reader x Alice Macray)

okay..hi :) this is reallyyyy long xD And its the story of this 3 cuties and how they fell in love with each other.. Well, its a little bit like the 3. part of “purple roses” (purple roses u can find here: https://littlejeaniehugsbumblebees.tumblr.com/post/640902350735818752/purple-roses-ms-venable-x-reader ) 

I know, that there is no second part online today, but there will be! If u didnt read the first part, u dont need to, coz i wrote this fanfiction that way, that u dont have to read the first part, i guess its angst idk

anygays my english is a mess, thats why i use google translate:’)

can we just talk about the fact, how perfect alice and mina would match? Mina the hot top with all that bdsm vibes and on the other hand we got the cute and innocent Alice sksksks

I guess Mina is the protagonist of this fanfic 

A good description of your relationship would have been complicated. Because it was all incredibly complicated. Don't get me wrong, you loved your girlfriends and they loved you, but sometimes when you woke up between the two of them, when Mina had her arms wrapped around you from behind and when Alice was cuddled with her head against your chest, you might just be confused how all of that could be possible.

And sometimes you couldn't help but wonder what your life would be like without one of your girlfriends. But you knew that you could never live without one of them, that was a fact.

You needed both to be happy, there was no other way.

Mina brought firmness and structure into your life. Thanks to her, you had developed routines for your daily routine and were no longer so distracted. And you loved the fact about her that she was more rational than emotional about things.

And every time she went on a business trip and left Alice and you at home alone, a huge mess broke out and all structures were thrown away.

You would oversleep in the morning, be late for work and your house would turn into a huge disaster and mess.

It just wouldn't work without Mina.

Alice, on the other hand, was the most innocent, gentle, and naive person you had ever met. Mina helped you solve your problems, but Alice helped you understand and accept them. In addition, Alice was incredibly cute and she was fantastic at cooking.

And whenever you needed it, she was there to hug you and tell you how much she loved you.

And the proof that it wouldn't work without Alice was the relationship you had with Mina before Alice came into your life. At the moment when everything you had with Mina broke, it seemed like God would have sent a gentle angel to save you.

----------------------

"This is going to be a new record .." you said as you leaned into the door frame to watch your girlfriend who was still working at her desk.

"What do you mean?", She lifted her gaze from her laptop in confusion to stare at you with a frown.

"You have been home for 4 hours and are still working .."

Mina sighed and rubbed her temples.

"I just have to make one phone call and then I'm done .." she muttered with her eyes closed.

"You always say that ..." you started, shaking your head. "One last phone call, one last document, one last email ... and then it's 10 p.m."

Mina was startled at your words and took a quick look at the clock on her laptop. You were right, it was 10 p.m.

"I doesn't matter ..." you sighed and turned to go back into the hallway.

"I'm going to bed, good night Wilhemina ..."

"Good night .." she replied quietly and stared after you.

Wilhemina.

That's what you called her only when you were angry.

Mina swore quietly and grabbed her phone before dialing the directory assistance number and letting it ring.

"Uhm..Hello, you're connected to the directory assistance, I'm Alice ..", came a soft female voice, which sounded a bit too happy for Mina's taste.

"I want you to find Lennox Fischer's private email address for me ..", Mina said in a commanding tone.

There was silence on the other end of the phone for a moment before the woman, Alice, continued.

"We have actually been closed since 6 p.m. .."

"Then you shouldn't have answered the call, could you still find this address for me?" Mina sighed and propped her chin on her palm.

"Give me a minute ... I've only been working here for a few weeks ...", Alice laughed nervously and Mina closed her eyes in annoyance.

"That's when I realize I shouldn't have told you my name .." Alice remarked after a few seconds.

"How tragic .." Mina replied ironically and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Do you have the email address?"

"I'm sorry..but what was the name again?"

"Damn it, it's not that difficult. Then why do you have this job if you can't get anything done anyway? I've rarely met someone who is as damn unqualified as you," barked Mina and slapped the table with the flat of her hand.

"You have no idea .." the other woman yelled back.

"Can you all stop being so impatient with me? I'm only human too ... And all because you're too lazy to look for it yourself and now take out your frustration on me ... I'm getting this right now not paid either, so it takes as long as it takes. And if you have a problem with it, fuck off.."

Miss Venable stared in confusion at the phone in her hand.

"Uhm, I'm sorry ..", she stammered overwhelmed.

"It's just that my girlfriend is impatiently waiting for me to finally get to bed .."

On the other end of the phone, Alice snorted.

"Yours too, yes? Get a divorce from her, even if she's just your girlfriend, it makes everything easier..You know- "

"Lennox Fischer ..", Mina interrupted the woman to bring her back to the subject.

"Oh yeah .. m'sorry .." Alice muttered and laughed nervously again. "You have to know that I got divorced from my husband two months ago and it's all a little bit complicated .."

"Aha."

"Well, I now have his email address, can you write it down? Then I'll dictate it to you .." Alice said and Mina sat down straight again to type in the email address down that Alice dictated to her on the phone.

"Good .." Alice said and sounded polite again.

"Then I thank you for your call and hope I could help you .."

Mina let out a small snort and had to grin at the strange woman.

"I have to thank you .." she muttered before hanging up and finally shutting down her laptop.

When she finally opened the door to your bedroom, you were lying with your back to her in bed and she couldn't tell whether you were still awake or already asleep. She undressed quietly and then climbed into bed behind you.

"Honey?" She whispered softly as she leaned over to gently press kisses against your exposed shoulder. "Are you still awake?"

"Nope .." you made with your eyes closed and Mina laughed quietly.

You blinked against the darkness of the room as you turned your head to face her. Your girlfriend was hunched over you naked, looking guiltily at you. After staring at her for a moment, you reached out your hand to reach behind her head and carefully pulled the hair tie out of her hair. Long red hair fell down her face and the ends of her hair tickled your cheeks.

"I'm done with everything now .." she whispered, smiling gently.

"Now is half past ten ..", your hand slid from the back of her head to her cheek to linger there.

"Now is a little bit late.."

"I know and I'm sorry .." she muttered and you could hear the regret in her voice. But a simple "sorry" wasn't enough for you anymore.

You sighed before you sat up and leaned against the headboard of the bed.

"Look, I know you have to work a lot, but sometimes it's just too much you know?"

Mina, who had also leaned against the headboard, nodded shortly before you continued.

"It's not about that the whole thing can't be healthy for you. I mean more us ... Although that might be a bit selfish, I know you love your work, but I uhm .. I don't know- you know, you work all the time and even on weekends and I know it's not your fault, but I just can't do this anymore..I'm sorry that I claim your affection so much, but I just need you and you have no time .. "

Carefully you looked over at Mina, who sadly returned your gaze.

"I'm sorry .." she whispered and grabbed your hand to pull you close to her so you could rest your head on her chest.

"I'll do better, I promise .."

"I know I'm no better myself .." you muttered as she began to comb through your hair gently.

"As a professor at this college, I have to work a lot too, but not until 10 p.m."

"I'll do better .." she repeated and you smiled before leaning over to press your lips against her cheek for a moment.

"That's all I want .." you pulled back and lay back on your side of the bed. Your girlfriend was not long in coming and lay behind you before she put an arm around you and pulled you back to her.

"What do you think if we go out after work tomorrow ..?" She whispered in your ear.

You hummed in agreement. "That's a great idea..".

"Yes?"

"Yeah .." you muttered with your eyes closed.

"Good night Mina ..".

"Good night baby .."

---------------

You slammed the car door angrily before turning around to stomp up the steps to your front door. You were angry. Very angry. After you hurried to get off work as quickly as possible, you drove to the restaurant where you had an appointment, only to wait an hour for someone who didn't come and now you drove back home and then to see Mina's car parked in the garage.

"Wilhemina fucking Venable .." you shouted as you opened the front door.

"How dare you humiliate me so much ..".

You ran to her workspace and as you expected she was sitting at her desk in front of her laptop and seemed to be working. Her brown eyes widened when she saw you angrily standing in the doorway.

"I'm so sorry ..", she stammered and got up.

"Oh of course you are .." you hissed with narrowed eyes.

"I called you 4 times while I sat in this stupid restaurant for an hour .. You can't imagine how embarrassing it was, the waiter felt so sorry for me that I didn't have to pay for my tea .. "

Your girlfriend stared helplessly at you.

"Like I said, I'm sorry, Y / N .. i was just so busy and then I forgot .."

"So do you admit you've forgotten? You know, at one point I thought you might be doing this on purpose because you think it's funny."

"I never could, I-", she began, but you raised your hand to silence her.

"The only problem is that you always do that .." you bit your lip.

"You promise me so often that you will spend time with me only to then skip it for your work .. Then just leave it straight away and I don't always have to make myself hopes, only to be disappointed ..".

"Y / N please .. I'm as good as finished .. We can still go somewhere and have dinner ..", she looked at you desperately, but you just shook your head.

"Just forget it, Mina .." you muttered before turning around to leave her workspace . She looked after you sadly before let out a frustrated moan and slumped back into her desk chair.

How could she have forgotten?

Reluctantly, she picked up her phone and dialed the directory assistance number like the night before.

"Hello, you are connected to Directory Assistance .." said the same soft voice as last night.

"Alice ..", Mina remarked and didn't really want to notice.

"Ohh you're the rude woman from last night .." Alice laughed on the other end of the phone.

"The one with the impatient girlfriend .."

"Now more likely the one with the hating girlfriend ..".

"What did you do wrong?", Mina could hear real concern in the woman's voice and that confused her. She didn't even know this woman.

"She's upset because I always move her for work .." she mumbled.

"It's not your fault if you have to work."

"Exactly! ..", Mina shouted loudly and was surprised by her own volume.

At the other end it was quiet and Mina noticed that the whole thing was more than just private right now. She cleared her throat just before continuing.

"Can you find out Leigh Chaplin's phone number for me?"

"Of course..give me a minute .." Alice muttered and Mina heard Alice tapping on the keyboard through the receiver. For a brief moment Mina thought about just hanging up. That call was quite weird and had taken on a very personal direction. But just when she really wanted to hang up, Alice began to dictate the phone number to her and she had to take notes.

--------------------

Mina had decided to make amends for what had happened a few days ago. The only problem was, whenever you had time, she couldn't. And once she was done with everything, you had to work. It was a never-ending cycle that dragged you both further and further down. And the worst part was that you both knew that and still couldn't do anything about it. She loved her work as much as you loved yours and neither of you would ever be willing to sacrifice your work for the other.

And yet Mina had decided to make it up to you and that meant for her to help you with saving time. That's why she was now at the city library to bring back the books for you that you had borrowed a few weeks ago. Actually you had your own little library in your house, because you valued books very much, but at some point all these books were read and you were both not people who read books again.

And as a college professor, you had a habit of researching books rather than the internet anyway.

Here she was now, hobbling her stick through the library building. Which turned out to be quite difficult as she was holding your books in one arm and then had to go through the big building with her stick. If she were to trip and fall, she would have no way of catching herself. Mina knew that this would probably never happen, but still she didn't like the feeling.

But of course it happened as it had to, as always in such situations. It wasn't Mina who fell, but it was one of the books that slipped out of the crook of her arm and landed with a thud on the wooden floor of the library. How much she hated that ... such situations were almost unbearable for her. Simply because it was embarrassing to know that because of her scoliosis she was unable to bend down to pick up the book herself.

She wanted to swear loudly, but she knew that a library might not be the best place for this. She poked her senselesslyn stick around on the book and tried to put it upright somehow, only to grab it. But it was useless. Of course it had to be the thickest of your books that she had dropped. Her stick seemed to be against it like a thin branch.

"Let me help you .." suddenly came a soft voice from behind her and made her flinch. Mina turned around and looked into the friendly face of a petite woman with light brown hair.

"Your book ..", the woman said when Mina didn't answer and pointed to it with an outstretched finger. Again Miss Venable didn't answer and just stared at the woman in front of her. She was 100% sure she had never seen her before, but her voice ... She knew that soft voice, she just didn't know where from.

Without hesitating for another second, the strange woman bent down and picked up the book.

"You are welcome ..", she smiled and put the book back in the crook of Mina.

"Thank you ..", Mina mumbled, still staring at the woman in front of her, confused.

"I'm sorry, but do we know each other?"

"I think I would know that..", the woman laughed and suddenly Mina knew who she was looking at.

"You're Alice .." she uttered. "Alice from directory assistance ..".

Alice's eyes widened.

"Then you must be the one with the impatient, hating girlfriend .."

Mina's pale skin turned red at the other woman's words and she began tapping the floor with her stick in an irregular rhythm, as she always did when she was nervous.

"I may have exaggerated a bit .." she muttered. "She doesn't hate me ..".

"Well, I'm glad .." Alice honestly smiled before she nodded at the books in Mina's arms with her chin. "By the way, you have a very good taste in books .."

Mina's gaze followed that of the woman in front of her and landed on the book that she had dropped.

"Oh..these aren't my books, my girlfriend read them .."

"So she has a very good taste in books ...".

Mina nodded briefly while she was still staring at Alice. The fact that she had actually met this woman was so weird that it couldn't be a coincidence.

"Uhm .. I should bring the books back .." she muttered and Alice nodded quickly.

"I can wait .." said Alice.

"So .. if you want .." she added quickly when she noticed Mina frown.

Mina narrowed her eyes while she could only stare again. Alice exuded such confidence and she was so kind, it was like she couldn't help but agree.

"Okay .." Mina muttered. "Just give me a minute ..".

Alice's eyes began to glow.

"Perfect .." she said, beaming. "I'll wait outside."

Mina nodded shortly before leaving Alice to return the books.

"Where is your car?" Mina asked Alice as she stepped out of the library.

"Oh uhm I came here on foot .." Alice muttered and Mina frowned.

"It's getting dark .." she said curtly and Alice, who obviously didn't know what to do with that remark, nodded shortly.

"I can drive you home."

Mina studied Alice's face for any dislikes, but the woman just smiled again.

"That would be nice..".

Mina nodded again before going to her car with Alice.

"Well ..", Mina began after getting into the car with Alice.

"Where do you live?" She looked at Alice from the side, who was desperately trying to put the strap over her blouse so that it wouldn't crease.

"Uhm..Woodhill Avenue ..", the woman mumbled when she was finally satisfied.

"You can't be serious ..", Mina stared at Alice, not sure whether to laugh or be upset. "We live on the same street .."

"Oh really?" Alice's eyes lit up again.

Mina just hummed in agreement before starting the car.

For a few minutes they drove through the crowded streets and neither said a word. And although something like that was usually uncomfortable, at that moment it was actually quite pleasant, at least that's what Mina thought.

"Actually we know the whole neighborhood, but I've never heard of an Alice, nor have I seen you ...", she said finally as she turned into the long street of Woodhill Avenue.

"Well .. actually I don't live there .. I think I told you that I separated from my husband and since then I've been living with my daughter ..", Alice explained and Mina didn't even need to look at her to see how the woman was uncomfortable with the topic.

"I'm sorry .." she said curtly.

"Oh no .. you know, I'm happy the way it is now, at least I'm happier than I was with Buck a few months ago ..".

Mina didn't know what to answer, so she decided not to say anything again.

"Do you know the people who live in this house?" Alice suddenly asked and pointed to the building that Mina referred to as her home. "Venable and Y / L / N are their names .. My daughter told me that everyone is afraid of them .."

Mina stared at Alice and when she realized that the woman was serious, she started to laugh.

"Is it really that bad that everyone is afraid of us?", Mina said and couldn't help but grin as she watched the eyes of the woman next to her widen.

"Wait..I- you live in the house with your girlfriend?" Alice stammered and Mina nodded.

"I'm so sorry ... God ..this embarrassing .."

Alice buried her face in her hands and stared between her fingers at the house where you lived with Mina.

"Well, it's a nice house ..", she muttered, trying to get out of this situation somehow. Mina just snorted in amusement before continuing down the street with the car.

"Which house does your daughter live in?"

"In the green one over there .." Alice muttered and Mina's eyes landed on a green low-rise building.

"Ohh your daughter is Evangeline ..", Mina remarked as she parked the car in front of the house.

"You know her?" Alice sounded confused.

Mina nodded.

"I've never really spoken to her before, but I know her .."

"Okay .." Alice frowned before reaching for the seat belt to unbuckle her.

"That's when I notice, I don't even know what your name is ..".

"Miss Venable .." Mina said curtly and bit the inside of her cheek.

"uhm..or Wilhemina .."

Alice smiled.

"Well, then thank you, Wilhemina, for taking me home .."

"Good Night, Alice ..", Mina muttered and had to smile again.

"Good Night .." Alice repeated before getting out of the car and disappearing into the green house. And Mina couldn't help but stare after her.

In her mind, for whatever reason, she was back on the day the two of you had met in the flower shop where you had been working at the time. Even then, she had wanted to smile all the time.

When Mina finally stood in front of the house for a few minutes and finally decided to go home, she felt nothing but guilty feelings and she did not know who these feelings were for: Alice, because Mina had let her go or you, because she felt exactly the same  things right now as she did when you and Mina first met.

----------------------

It was Saturday evening and Alice was on her way to the house of the interesting woman she had met in person a few days ago. Somewhere she had a guilty conscience, as it was already 10 p.m. and it was probably impolite to disturb Mina so late, but she really wanted to see Wilhemina again and at the same time she really wanted to get to know you.

She stepped onto the site of your house and hesitantly raised her hand to the bell before finally pressing her finger against the little button.

When two minutes later still nothing had moved, Alice actually wanted to turn around and go home, but then she remembered that Mina probably needed longer due to her stick and that's why she stayed. And actually a few seconds later an angry looking Mina opened the door for her.

When Alice saw Mina's angry look, she was afraid for a moment that she had more than just disturbed, but when Mina recognized her, her look softened.

"Alice .." Mina uttered happily and Alice could see the woman in front of her trying to suppress a smile, which she failed.

"Uhm..I hope I'm not bothering .." Alice gave Mina, who quickly shook her head, a bright smile.

"No .." said the woman, her face serious again. "How can I help you?"

"Uhm well, I've got something for your girlfriend .." Alice muttered as she reached into her pocket to get the book out before she passed it to Mina.

"I saw on Thursday that your friend had checked out the first part .. I thought she might want to read the second part too .. It doesn't exist in the library .."

"Oh that's nice ..", Mina picked up the book.

"But unfortunately she's not at home all weekend because of a seminar .."

Alice frowned

"Are you sure you're the one who transfers his girlfriend because of work?" She asked and watched Mina just shake her head.

"I think you have a completely wrong picture of her ..", Mina muttered and chewed her lower lip.

"Isn't that important either, do you want to come in?"

"Sure .." Alice nodded quickly and started smiling again.

When Mina led Alice into the living room, Alice couldn't help but be impressed. The walls of the great room were lined up with full bookshelves sorted in alphabetical order. A large chandelier hung from the ceiling and was not switched on because a fire was burning in a large marble fireplace. In the middle of the room was a large dark red carpet on which a dark wing chair, a couch made of the same dark fabric and a square wooden table with short table legs stood.

Alice's gaze caught on the wing chair Mina had obviously been sitting in, before Alice rang the bell. A blanket lay untidy on the seat, covered with an open book and on the table was a half-empty glass with red wine. On the edge of the glass Alice could see traces of Mina's dark lipstick.

"Excuse the chaos, please ..", she heard Mina say behind her. Alice let out a low snort.

"Chaos .." she repeated mumbling and turned to Mina. Except for the few things on the wing chair, the house seemed to have been furnished down to the last detail.

"Do you drink wine?" Asked Mina, clutching her stick with both hands.

"Sure." Alice replied curtly.

"Red or white?"

"White, please ..".

"Well, then wait here for a moment ..", Mina said before turning around to leave the room.

Alice looked after the woman briefly before going to the dark sofa to sit on it. She sat there for a moment, but then the pictures on the mantelpiece caught her eye and she got up again to walk to the fireplace to take a closer look at the pictures.

All of the pictures showed Mina and a woman Alice was unfamiliar with, but Alice was smart enough to say that it was you, Mina's girlfriend.

And she noticed that Mina was right when she said Alice had the wrong picture of you. You didn't see at all like someone that could be impatient or strict. All these pictures showed you laughing honestly, with a cocky twinkle in your eyes. And of course Mina, who, as always, tried to suppress her smile. Alice grinned at the thought.

Each picture showed a different moment, presumably dates or vacations and all in one, Alice thought that you and Mina looked cute together, at least in the photos.

"So you've already discovered Y / N's altar .." mumbled Mina, who suddenly appeared next to Alice.

"Oh yes .. It's cute ..", Alice said and took the glass of white wine, which Mina held out to her before she mumbled a little "thank you".

"I think it's rather cheesy, but it was her idea ..", Mina stared critically at the pictures and for a few seconds neither said anything.

"She's pretty .." Alice finally remarked and Mina just nodded.

"She is.."

Alice's gaze wandered carefully from the pictures to Mina, who was staring sadly down at the pictures.

"You know, I think this is what I like the most .." she suddenly mumbled and tapped an actually inconspicuous picture with her finger. It showed you both in your winter coats squinting your eyes against the flash of the selfie camera. It was also pretty blurry.

"I know it's nothing special .." Mina explained. "But the moment behind it was special ... It was New Year's Eve last year and shortly before midnight we climbed onto the roof of the skyscraper in which she lived at the time, to watch the fireworks from there. I remember exactly how she was angry when I forced her to come on the roof with me .. it was pretty cold ..

But I wanted it to be special when I propose to her .. "

Alice's eyes widened.

"Are you engaged?"

Mina shook her head and smiled sadly.

"We were engaged .. but she broke off the engagement three months ago until .. until things were settled .. You already know how complicated everything is at the moment .."

Alice looked worriedly into Mina's sad eyes before slowly nodding.

"I understand .." she said softly.

"You know, I really love her, but it's just so weird .." Mina pinched the bridge of her nose. "I met her a couple of years ago in the flower shop she worked and earned next to nothing and actually had a shitty life, and now she's been working as a professor for a college for a few months and is finally happy with that... and that is great, don't get me wrong, but we hardly have no time for each other, because now she also has to work long hours ... and it's like she pretends that it's all my fault .. "

"I'm sorry .." Alice muttered before stretching out her arms and pulling the woman into a hug. Alice felt that Mina was uncomfortable when she lay tense in her arms, but when she wanted to withdraw, Mina quickly put her arms around Alice and hugged her back. Alice put her head on Mina's shoulder and inhaled the woman's lavender perfume. They stayed that way for a few minutes, until Mina finally cleared her throat and withdrew.

"M'sorry .." she muttered without looking at Alice and Alice could see the tear marks on her face.

"We shouldn't talk about this anymore .."

Alice nodded quickly. "If I got too close to you, I'm sorry .. "

She followed Mina, who sat down on the couch and sat with enough space next to her.

"Now that you've heard my shit, I'd love to hear yours .." Mina said, giving Alice a subtle sideways look. Alice blinked a few times and thought about it for a moment. Actually, she didn't really know the woman and a divorce is not really a pleasant topic for an evening like this, but a few seconds ago Mina had stood in her arms and cried, so what was wrong with it?

"Uhm .. so I've been divorced for 2 months ..", she began and for the next two hours she told Mina the whole story with Phyllis Schlafly, the E.R.A. and that Houston had somehow opened her eyes and she'd been working on directory assistance ever since. She told Mina about her children and that she couldn't believe she was a grandma. And then she told her about Buck and that for a few years she had wondered if what she had with him was really what she wanted the rest of her life to be.

To be honest, Alice wouldn't normally have been so talkative if it wasn't because of the alcohol. She usually didn't drink, so a glass of Mina's expensive white wine was enough to get her drunk.

"You know, I only noticed now how bad that asshole was in bed ..." she laughed out loud and held onto Mina's thigh. "Well in any case our house belongs to him and I have to live with my daughter .."

Mina, who was just as sober as she was a few hours earlier, might have been a little overwhelmed by Alice's drunkenness, but somehow she found it incredibly cute.

"I'm sorry .." she muttered and Alice missed the worried look the woman was giving her.

"Yikes .." Alice suddenly made as she stared intently at the clock on the wall.

"Am I wrong or is it 14 minutes past midnight?"

Mina was shocked at her words and had to find out that it was actually that late.

"I should call your daughter, then she can pick you up ..".

"Oh let Evangeline sleep .." Alice waved her off.

"I can just sleep with you .. you know I like you, you're nice to me and don't treat me like the failure that I am. Even if you were pretty mean to me on the phone ..".

Alice grinned crookedly before leaning forward and dropping her head into Mina's lap. Mina winced and immediately got up to let Alice rudely fall back on the sofa. The drunk woman let out a low wail and looked reproachfully up at Mina.

"We should put you to bed .." she mumbled and pulled Alice into an upright position before she gently grabbed her arm and pulled her up the stairs with her.

"Uhm .. this is the guest room ...", Mina muttered as they stood in the door frame of the room. Alice stared into the beautifully decorated guest room, which was so much better than the sofa she'd slept on for months. But it wasn't what she wanted.

"You know, I can sleep with you..", she remarked and looked carefully at Mina, who seemed frozen.

"Okay .." Mina finally said before stepping out of the doorway and leading Alice into your bedroom.

A large king-size bed stood with its head against the wall and filled most of the room. One side of the bed faced the door. Alice' gaze ran to the bedside cabinet on this side of the bed and could see reading glasses, a pill box and a tube of some kind of cream next to a small lamp. She suspected that Mina slept here. The other nightstand was a lot messier. Unused kleenex were piled on top of each other while a pair of gold earrings lay on the lamp stand. On one corner of the cupboard was an empty glass, but it was definitely used. And then there was a big black hairbrush and either it was Mina's red hair that was caught in it or you had the same hair color as your girlfriend, which Alice found unlikely. On the wall next to this side of the bed was a large painting with some flowers on it. Alice's eyes wandered to a large ground plant that stood in the corner of the room. She noticed that she had seen beautiful flowers all over the house and she remembered Mina saying that you had once worked in a flower shop.

All in all it was a nice bedroom, but Alice only saw the best part when she had stepped completely into the room:

On the wall opposite the foot of the bed was a huge picture window, which allowed a view of the neighborhood and the beautiful night sky. That was the advantage if you didn't live in the city. Alice couldn't help but grin than her eyesremained hanging on the black grand piano, which crowned the bedroom on top of everything else.

"A piano in the bedroom?", She turned to Mina, grinning, who turned red for whatever reason.

"Y / N can play the piano and when I gave this one to her, she wanted it to be here ..", Mina explained and nervously began tapping the floor with her stick to a random rhythm.

"It's pretty cheesy, but you should hear her play ...".

Alice nodded quickly and put on a neutral expression again when she realized that Mina didn't like her grin.

"I imagine it would be nice to wake up in the morning and then hear the piano .." she muttered and looked back at the piano.

"Anyway ..", Mina said and held her stick tighter again.

"We're about the same size, you can have my nightgown if you want ..".

Alice turned back to her and gave the woman a grateful smile.

"That would be nice..".

Mina only nodded shortly before she left the room, only to come back a minute later in a lavender nightgown.

"I'm going to change in the bathroom while you can do this here ..", she explained as Alice took the nightgown and mumbled a little "thank you".

And less than 5 minutes later Alice, who was actually still drunk, was lying in bed next to a completely stranger and, like Mina, stared at the ceiling in silence. And yet she would have preferred nowhere and it was the first evening in weeks that she could fall asleep without any worries.

---------------------

Contrary to Mina's guess, the next morning hadn't been weird at all. Actually nothing special had happened, but Mina had been worried about Alice's drunkenness, but the woman had been kind as always.

And while everything was fine between Alice and her, she worried about what was between her and you. She felt incredibly guilty and could never have told you that a strange woman had slept in your bed. Mina knew that Alice was way too innocent to think anything about it when she and Mina shared the bed, but you didn't know Alice and you would never understand.

Miss Venable couldn't deny that the brunette had turned her head. Alice was so gentle, it was almost impossible to feel uncomfortable in her presence and Mina finally had someone who understood her and who showed her compassion.

And when you came home on Sunday night and she pushed you right against your front door to kiss you passionately, she did that not only to show you how much she had missed you, but also to prove to herself that she still loved you . Because she did, but what she felt when she saw Alice confused her feelings and it scared her.

It was Thursday afternoon and Mina was on her way home. She had tried again and again over the past few days to show you how much she loved you, but for whatever reason, that only made it worse. At least you just seemed to get a little bit more bitter every day, and she couldn't explain why.

Mina let out an aggressive growl when she sounded the horn because the light turned green and the idiot in front of her stopped driving.

She had got out of work late and now had to hurry to get home, even if she didn't really want to go there. You'd only be disappointed again because she was late again.

Nervously, she drummed her fingers on the steering wheel as she drove home as fast as she could. She was almost in your street when she spotted none other than Alice on the pedestrian path and automatically her bad mood had flown away. Mina stopped next to Alice on the side of the road before pulling down the passenger door window to see Alice's surprised face.

"Jesus Mina .." Alice exclaimed, clutching her chest.

Mina raised an eyebrow and grinned.

"I thought church mice dont swear ..".

"Actually, I don't swear either .." Alice stammered. "But do you have any idea how scary it is when someone pulls up their car next to you?"

"So am I someone then?"

"No .. but .. you know what I mean ..".

Mina nodded curtly before leaning forward to open the passenger door.

"I guess, you want to go home?"

"Oh yes ..", Alice smiled gratefully at Mina before climbing into the car.

"So how are you Mina?" Alice asked after they had driven for a few minutes.

"M'fine ..", Mina mumbled and was well aware that she was lying.

"Good to hear .." Alice said, sounding in as good a mood as ever.

"How did Y / N find the book?"

Fuck.

Mina bit her lip.

"So uhm..I didn't give it to her..Y / N doesnt know you were with me .. "

"Oh ..", uttered the woman next to her and didn't sound that happy anymore.

"I may not be allowed to interfere, but I think you should talk to her .."

"About what?" Mina frowned.

"About how you feel .. Tell Y / N that you feel misunderstood and make it clear to her that it is not your fault ..".

Mina didn't answer and concentrated on driving again.

"You know, communication is the most important thing in a relationship, so talk to her, I think that might help .."

Great, thought Mina and bit the inside of her cheek. Talking about feelings, that was exactly her thing.

She stopped in silence next to Alice's daughter's green house.

"Thanks, Mina ..", Alice mumbled and wanted to open the car door to get out, but Mina stopped her by locking the whole car.

Alice turned to her in confusion before Mina grabbed her by the collar of her blouse, pulled her close and pressed her lips against Alice's.

Alice let out a shocked whimper and Mina immediately withdrew.

For a few seconds both women stared at each other. Alice looked totally overwhelmed and horrified, while Mina slowly realized what she had just done.

Without a word she opened the car doors and not a second later Alice jumped out of the car before running into the house.

A few minutes passed and Mina didn't move an inch. She stared at the street in front of her, trying to understand what had just happened.

All she wanted was to solve the problems between you and her and now she had kissed another woman. Damn it.

She let out a loud scream and hit the steering wheel before leaning forward to lean her forehead against it. A few more minutes passed while she cried against the leather. She hated being so emotional, right now when so many feelings were boiling in her at the same time and she couldn't define all of these things.

After she had calmed down a bit, she took a few deep breaths before starting the car and driving home.

"I'm home, baby .." she called in a thin voice after entering your house.

"Oh, finally ..", she heard you sigh before you appeared in the hallway. Your usual smile faded when you saw her and you frowned.

"What?" Mina asked nervously and chewed her lower lip.

"You have lipstick on your face ..", your voice sounded dark and made Mina nervous.

"Oh .. it must be smeared .." she said and smiled shakily.

"This is not your lipstick .."

Mina's smile froze and she stared at you.

"So you're really having an affair .." you growled and she could see tears glistening in your eyes.

"What the- Y / N..No ..", Mina's voice faltered as she watched you turn around and pointed with your finger to follow you before you led her into your study.

"If you're not having an affair, what is that ..", you opened one of your desk drawers and put a white lace bra on it.

"I found it under our bed and it can't be yours .. you're not wearing white underwear .."

Mina stared at Alice's bra hanging on your finger.

"Okay, how long?", You looked at her piercingly.

"I uhm- We dont-" Mina struggled for words and clung to her cane.

"You just can't be serious .." you yelled. "All I want is your affection and while I give everything to hang out with you, you fuck someone else?"

"I'm not having an affair, Y / N ..", Mina tried to calm you down and held up a hand.

"Oh, then explain to me why I find strange underwear under our bed and why your face is such a mess .. You know, you could have at least tried to hide the whole thing ..".

"Please let me explain ..", Mina chewed her lower lip and briefly considered what to say.

"Well I know you from the directory assistance ..-"

"Ohh, phone sex..",  you interrupted her and raised an eyebrow.

"What the hell, no y / n ..", Mina hissed.

"It turned out that she lives in the neighborhood and then she was here on Saturday and slept here, more not .."

"More not? Are you kidding me?", You spat and ran your hair through. "You let this stranger sleep in my bed and you don't tell me about it? .."

Mina didn't know how to answer it, so she just kept silent.

"Did you have sex?" You asked as you crossed your arms and chewed your lower lip.

"She never could, she-"

"Okay, I'll ask differently ..", you pinched the bridge of your nose.

"Did you want to have sex with her?"

Mina stared at you with wide eyes. In her mind she traveled back to Saturday night when she had been lying in bed next to Alice and staring at the ceiling. She remembered it well, how disgustedt she was of herself, but all she wanted to do at the moment was bend over the innocent woman to do the dirtiest things to her. Things Alice didn't even dare to dream of. All she wanted was to hear the desperate whimpering of the women and how she shouted her name.

But Mina could never have done that, partly because her loyalty was yours and partly because Alice was far too innocent for something like that.

"Wow .." you mumbled when she didn't answer.

"And then that bitch kissed you today ...?"

"Don't call her that ..", Mina defended Alice. "And besides, I kissed her ..".

"Oh..That's even better ..." you screamed as tears ran from your eyes.

"Congratulations Wilhemina, something like that is called an affair ..".

Angrily you threw the bra at Mina before you ran past her back into the hallway. Mina followed you and watched sadly as you packed your handbag with simple things.

"I'm going to see my mother .." you explained without looking at her while you put on your jacket. "I have to think about a few things ... I have no idea how long I'll be gone ... I also have no idea if I'll ever come back ...".

That was the last thing you said before you ran out of your house and left her with all the guilt.

-----------------------

You spent three weeks with your mother. Three long weeks of thinking about everything that had happened. You loved Mina so much, and the fact that there was probably someone else almost killed you. And actually you hadn't meant to come back to her, no matter that all your things were still in her house, but you were too scared that you would then have to see how she got over you and went on with her life.

After all, it was your mother who persuaded you to go to Mina to talk to her.

And now you stood in front of the door of your house and at least from the outside it looked exactly as you had left it. You bravely raised your hand to the door to knock gently on it.

And when Mina opened the door a minute later, you couldn't help but stare at her. You thought you looked like shit, but Mina topped it all. The actually proud woman was just a pile of misery when she opened the door for you that day. The red hair curled untidily over the fabric of her pajamas as she trembled on her stick. She was obviously in pain and probably hadn't taken her pills, something you usually reminded her of. You looked carefully into her face, which seemed even paler than usual, and noticed how she squinted her eyes against the sunlight, she didn't seem to have left the house for a long time.

For a moment you both stared at each other and you felt guilt creep up inside you.

"Can I come in?" You finally asked and looked carefully into her cloudy eyes that were staring down at you. Mina nodded slowly.

"It's your home ..." she muttered before stepping out of the doorway and hobbling into the living room. Without hesitation you ran after her after the door had closed behind you. You sat down next to Mina, who was staring into the empty fireplace, on the couch and also stared at the fireplace, but your attention was focused on the photos on the mantelpiece.

"You didn't take your pills .." you mumbled and she just hummed in agreement.

"..uhm, how are you?" you tried again before carefully looking at her from the side.

"M'great .." she muttered.

"Okay.."

"And how are you?" She asked while she was still staring into the fireplace.

"I'm great too."

Mina snorted.

"So we're both liars."

You ignored her comment and got to the real reason you came.

"Okay Mina, uhm i dont know- So about this woman .. I don't know what you had or just didn't have with her ..-"

"I had nothing with her ..", she interrupted you with a growl.

"You understand that I can understand that pretty badly?", You bit your lower lip and watched as Mina shook her head.

"I think you should get to know her .." she muttered and you frowned.

"So are you still in contact with her?"

Mina shrugged her shoulders.

"You should get to know her," she repeated.

"Okay .." you raised both hands in surrender. "Tell me when and where and I'll be there ..".

"Are you coming home then?" She whispered as she finally turned away from the fireplace and her injured eyes met yours.

"I .. I don't know ..", you stammered. "Please let me get to know this woman first .."

Mina nodded just before she got up and left the living room.

"What are you doing?" You called after her, confused.

"I'll call her .. "she muttered.

Your eyes widened.

"She's not coming here now, is she?"

"No ..", Mina called from the hallway. You didn't answer and after a few seconds you heard her talking softly to someone before she came back into the living room and stood in the doorway.

"You will meet her tomorrow in the café next to the library ..", she explained.

"Tomorrow I have to work late .."

"I know .." she said. "That's why you don't meet until 6 pm .."

"Okay .." you nodded briefly and stared at her for a few seconds.

"Uhm, I actually wanted to take some clothes with me .. For three weeks I've had to wear the shit my mother still had from me .."

"It's your home..", Mina replied shortly as she again clutched her stick with both hands.

You jumped up from the sofa to run past her up the stairs. In your dressing room you quickly packed a few clothes in an old sports bag before you turned around and actually wanted to go again, but then the white bra of this woman caught your eye, which was lost in the window sill. You knew stuffing that stupid thing in your gym bag might not be a good idea, but you would do anything to break the owner of this bra, for something to do with your girlfriend.

You ran back down the stairs where Mina was waiting for you in the hallway.

"I should go now .." you muttered as she stared at you expectantly. She nodded sadly.

"Uhm..Can I hug you?" She asked quietly and looked at you carefully.

"uh..of course ..", you nodded slowly before suddenly finding yourself in her arms again. She hugged you so tight that you were afraid you would suffocate. Her red hair tickled your face and for the first time in three weeks you could inhale her lavender perfume while she clung to you like her life depended on it.

"I am so sorry ..", she whispered and you swallowed when you felt guilty again.

"I should go now .." you repeated and withdrew from her arms.

She just nodded before you stumbled to the front door.

"Uhm..Y / N ..", she called after you when you were already out the door. You turned back to her and looked at her questioningly.

"Yes?"

"Alice didn't do anything wrong, so please don't kill her tomorrow ..".

You nodded just before turning to go to your car.

Alice.

--------------

"Damn .." you cursed as you nervously stared at your watch.

18:23

You parked your car in the library parking lot and walked briskly to the café.

Your gaze wandered through the almost empty room. Two men were sitting at a table and playing chess, an old woman was sitting in a corner and drinking coffee, and then your gaze was fixed on the graceful figure of a woman who was sitting with her back turned to you. It has to be her, you thought as you stared at her hazel hair curled up on a pastel colored blouse.

You got a little nervous when you approached her from behind.

"Uhm..Alice ..?" You asked and the woman winced slightly before turning to you and staring into her friendly eyes.

"You must be Y / N .." she said with a bright smile and got up.

"Uhm..ja .." you mumbled with a frown before you sat down across from her.

"I'm sorry ..I'm late .."

"Oh its okay .." Alice waved her hand before she sat down again. "Mina told me about your work .."

"Did she?", You looked at her confused and she just hummed in agreement.

You used the next few seconds to take in the woman in front of you and understood what Mina had meant. Alice looked so harmless and didn't fall into the category of the horny neighbor slut at all.

You cleared your throat and pointed with your index finger at the cup in front of you.

"What's this?"

"Tea," Alice said curtly. "She told me that you drink tea .."

The furrow on your forehead only got a little deeper as you pulled your eyebrows together a little further.

"She seems to have told you a lot about me .."

"I also know that you play the piano .." Alice replied, sounding kind of proud.

"She had to explain the piano in our bedroom .." you growled darkly as you remembered that this woman had slept in your bed.

"Y / N, she loves you .." she said and looked at you piercingly.

"I'm not sure about this.."

"Okay .." Alice sighed before starting to tell you the whole story from her point of view. How Mina had called her directory assistance late at night, how they met by chance in the library and how she ended up at your home on Saturday evening.

You listened to her attentively without interrupting her and with everyoneSentence made you feel a little worse because everything she said made sense.

"You must know, I never kissed a woman before and- you know ..." Alice muttered, staring at the table.

"And I thought it was a sin all my life and when Mina kissed me I wasn't really happy at first. You know, I was with her on a Tuesday two weeks ago to talk to her about it and she was really sad..- "

"Did she tell you she loves you?" You interrupt her.

"She-" Alice's voice faltered. "She apologized and said she was confused .."

You stared at her in silence.

"I don't want to offend you, Y / N, but Mina feels totally misunderstood by you .. She tries to do everything right and you reject her .. As if it was her fault that she has to work so hard .. And even if she doesn't seem like anyone that gets involved with something like that, she feels totally terrible about it all .. You didn't see how she cried when I was with her that Tuesday .. "

You looked at Alice sadly when you understood what she meant.

"Damn I'm such an idiot .." you muttered, rubbing your hair.

"There's something else, Y / N .." Alice sat up straight before continuing.

"When I was with her on Tuesday, I kissed her again ..".

Her words made you freeze.

"You did what?"

"You already understand me .." Alice said, looking at each other nervously.

"Did she kiss you or did you kiss her?"

"I kissed her."

"Okay .." you frowned.

"She loves you .." Alice repeated, putting her hand on yours.

Tears stung your eyes.

"But she loves you too ..", you croaked as you felt warm tears running down your face. Alice reached out her hand to wipe the tears from your face.

"Maybe .." she said softly. "But you mustn't be mad at her for that, it's not her fault .. Mina and I don't have an affair or anything, she loves you too much for that .."

"And do you love her?"

Alice thought for a few seconds before answering.

"I don't know to be honest .. This is all new to me, if you get what I mean .."

You nodded slowly and thought for a moment about everything she had just told you.

"I uhm .. thanks for trying to explain everything to me .." you finally said.

The woman in front of you smiled gently before taking her hand back.

"I hope you don't hate me now or anything.."

"Oh no!" You shouted loudly. "You are really kind .."

"Thank you," Alice muttered, her eyes shining a little more.

You stared at her for another moment and you could totally understand that Mina found this little sunshine attractive.

"Uhm by the way .." you started and reached into your handbag.

"I uhm .. I brought your bra .."

You put the bra on the table and pushed it over to the woman.

"Thank you .." Alice mumbled embarrassed and blushed, which made you grin.

She was really cute.

And that was your first "date" with Alice. Although one would call this educational talk less than a date. That same evening you drove back home and by home you meant Mina and not your mother's house.

The following months were more than overwhelming for you, Mina and Alice. Mina and you both applied for less working time at your work, which you also received and you had more time for each other.

That wasn't what overwhelmed you so much, the problem was, that it was pretty difficult for all 3 of you to come to terms with how you felt about each other.

After all, Mina got along best with it because she was the one of you who had been confronted with it the longest.

For her sake you accepted her love for Alice and began to meet the brunette more often and at some point you had to find out that you too were hopelessly in love with Alice.

Alice struggled with it though. The mere fact that she was in love with one woman scared her and then there were two. It was pretty hard for her to put aside all of her lesbian advantages and what her church said about you. Fortunately, Alice's children had different opinions and were glad that their mother was happy again after the divorce.

You and Mina were a little afraid of Alice's extended family, but they had all been nice to you and there was almost nothing better for you than to take care of Alice's grandchildren.

It took a while, but finally Alice also managed to get rid of her inhibitions and give herself completely to you.

And sometimes when you wake up between the two of them, when Mina had her arms wrapped around you from behind and when Alice was cuddled with her head to your chest and you were wondering how all this was even possible, you were probably the happiest person on earth at the same time.

And all you needed for that was the little sunshine in your arms while the red hair of your beautiful protector tickled your face.

[finaledenialist]

so in one of your asks you said you dont think cas was in love with dean since the beginning and idk its interesting to me because everyone seem to think he was from the start so what is your take on that? idk im just curious haha

ohhh I wanted to make a post about this so thanks for asking!

disclaimer: I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade I just have a different take on this whole thing!!! 

So. I see people are like: OMG he was in love ALL THIS TIME SINCE 4x01 and I am like: no. 

Was he lost since he laid his hand on Dean in hell? Yes. Was he instantly in love? Nah.

See, Cas in season 4 and 5 is starting to feel. He is conflicted, he is questioning, he doesn’t have ‘people skills’, he is confused by what he feels, he knows there is a ‘profound bond’ between him and Dean and he is rebelling for Dean, because Dean has a point and Cas feels Dean is right and apocalypse and destruction are wrong, and this human is so human and he never had that connection before. Add the sexual innuendos, the eye fucking and the tension between those two and this is what i call ‘classic destiel’. I do have a strong feeling this is partly Jensen’s and Misha’s fault though haha but I am also convinced that the jokes like ‘Cas, get out of my ass!’/’Blow me Cas’ are purely for ‘comedic purposes’ because haha gay so funny (keep in mind it’s still 2008/2009 and things were so different then BUT we still got Endverse which had not only sexual stuff implied but romantic as well - ‘all we have left, Dean and I, is each other, if Dean says it’s time to go in a blaze of glory, so be it’ (I am writing this from memory so these might not have been exact lines but you know what I am talking about).

And then in season 6 and 7 is where things start to get romantic. ‘I watched you rake leaves’, Dean’s blind faith that no, Cas can’t be working with Crowley behind their backs because come on it’s Cas and the whole 6x20 episode is *chief’s kiss* and then season 7 and Cas dies to make things right and Dean keeps his trenchcoat and moves it from every car they have been using that season to always have it with him because part of me always believed you’d come back. OK, but I was meant to be talking mostly about Cas’ point of view. Which takes me back to 7x23 and I’d rather have you, cursed or not. I think these words had a major impact on Cas. Something just clicked. Because he realized that he could say these exact same words to Dean and they still would be true. 

And then we got season 8 which was a major shift and it really moved stuff from ‘sexual tension’ to ‘romantic tension’ and it’s still called ‘season fanfiction’ because I wanted to keep them away from you in purgatory and Cas generally not feeling worthy of anything but I think this is when he started to realize that what he feels is not like ‘brotherly friendship’ but something much deeper but he had his issues (I don’t deserve to be saved from purgatory thing) so he kind of kept it buried. But this was when the Real Love really started. But did he admit it to himself? Well I am not in Cas’ head but something must have been on his mind - Naomi had access too his mind and she immediately recognized that there is a certain Feeling that is dangerous and Cas needs to be fucking lobotomized (I still have shivers thinking about it). Did Naomi knew it was love? Idk, but she felt something was going on - that is why she tried to mess things up between Dean and Cas (I only wish he felt the same way ouch my heart....) and Metatron also recognized it, quicker and better (maybe because he spent much more time on earth and was generally a little more powerful and knowing as the scribe of God) and he immediately used Cas’ grace to banish angels from heaven because Cas was feeling love for a human. But did he, himself recognized it as love? Did he admit it to himself? I still have a feeling that no. I still think that his ‘I don’t know’ after Dean’s ‘What broke the connection?’ was honest.

Now let me fast forward to season 12, because this post is getting too long already and while seasons 9-11 had some good episodes and even good destiel scenes I feel this was the time many people - rightly so - were starting to lose faith in canon destiel, starting with Dean not letting Cas stay in the bunker in season 9 and bros acting like they only call Cas when they need him. I repeat - there were still some good episodes, even great ones. And we were shown Cas worried about Dean and being there for him anytime Dean called, there was so much pining but once again let me raise The Question: did Cas know what he was feeling was love? Or was he still confused, not letting himself believe, not being able to name his own feelings and emotions? And this is merely my opinion but this is also time where many people started to be bitter and negative by how writers treated Cas (and other characters in general but I am not gonna dive into that dumpster now, especially the Cas-having-sex-with-a-reaper thing which was awful, but in retrospect is even more awful because if it was Chuck’s writing this seems like some kind of sick attempt to do a conversion therapy and I want to throw up; plus he thought? he was into his boss at gas’n’sip and he thought she was into him and what even was it if not a. bad writing; b. Cas being confused; c. Cas being confused about this bad writing).

So season 12. First of all 12x12, when Cas thought he is gonna die and the infamous line ‘I love you. I love all of you’ happened. I  am 100% sure this is when Cas realized. This must have prompted questions for him. Why did I say what I said? He blurted those words out but why like that? Aaaand after some thinking I think he realized why. He must’ve been like ‘oooops’. But then Jack was about to be born and he had to protect Kelly and then he died.

And then he is in the Empty who says - I know who you love, I know what you fear, there is nothing for you out there. She doesn’t know shit, she just has access to Cas’ mind and apparently those were his thoughts, already at that time, he thought there was nothing for him out there (again, his depression issues) BUT THEN CAS, MY SWEET CAS, THIS BAD ASS MOTHERFUCKER says fuck you Empty in one of his best monologues (before 15x18 I’d say it was his best but here we are) and she yeets him out, because HE decided HE is already saved and he doesn’t need a permission and you can preen and you can scream and yell and remind me of my failings but somehow, I'm awake. And I will stay awake and I will keep you awake until we both go insane. I will fight you. Fight you and fight you for... ever. For eternity. 

And then Jack dies and he takes the humiliating deal.  And now we’re at 15x18 and he says: ‘I have always wondered.... ever since I took that burden.... What my true happiness can even look like... Because the one thing I want is the one thing I can’t have’. SEE THESE WORDS HERE ARE WHY I CAN’T SLEEP AT NIGHT. BECAUSE THEY IMPLY at least to me THAT:

1. He was aware of his feelings, he knew what he felt was love at the time he took the deal. and after that he was like ‘I guess I am immortal now’ because the one thing I want is the one thing I can’t have so nothing else is going to make him truly happy; this also implies that there is only one thing he truly wants and the rest is just not that important, whatever else happens won’t make him happy which is heartbreaking;

2. He knew what he wanted, so this means that at some point he wondered, he imagined, he took his time to picture the ‘thing’ he wanted. Which is life with Dean. Because he is in love. LIKE HE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS, HE REALLY DID AND HE CONCLUDED THAT THIS IS OUT OF HIS REACH (now people argue if that is because he thinks it’s unrequited or because he thinks that something something hunter life-fighting all the time-no attachments lifestyle won’t allow them to have this sort of life - and frankly, knowing that he learned everything, or almost everything about emotions from Dean, who isn’t really good at them, I am not surprised if he is sure that this feeling is one-sided, because maybe he conquered his fears in the Empty the first time around but taking the deal must have made him anxious and Chuck still calls him self-hating so he probably thinks this is one-sided and he is unworthy of love anyway);

3. He tried to imagine different scenarios that would make him happy but eventually it all came down to That One True Scenario, out of his reach, that couldn’t compare with anything else, and he tells Jack - you know about that deal, it’s ok, I don’t see myself becoming happy anytime soon AND IT HURTSSS

so to conclude and tl;dr - I think Cas realized that what he was feeling was love after 12x12 although he felt it before but might have been confused by it. I do not think he was ~in love~ since 4x01. There was tension and there was pining but no. This feeling evolved, it didn’t *just* happen in the barn. 

also i am so sorry this took so long but i have thoughts and feelings and can’t form a coherent sentence since november 5th anyway thanks for asking nonny, ily!!!!

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Peter Parker’s Younger Sibling

Peter Parker x sibling!reader

warnings: bullying mention, blood mention

a/n: a fuckin reach, its been a WHILE since ive seen tasm

prompt: y/n is peter’s sibling

peter and you were playful kids

you were just a year and some months younger than him, so you had a harder time remembering your parents than him

but he always told you stories about them that made you miss them a little more

peter was a genius, we all know it

he was the one helping you with your homework most nights

“peter i cant do it!”

“that’s okay, y/n. look, start with two times four, that’s eight, then four times six, twenty-four, right?”

“can i say a cuss word?”

“sure”

“math is shit”

you would cry during homework a lot

you’d also pass out on his floor after talking for hours

and you’d either wake up facedown on the floor or in your room since uncle ben would pick you up and put you to bed

peter took it upon himself to take you back to your room, but he usually dragged you by the arm, sooooo

you’d play action figures together

he was batman, you were robin always

“can i be batman?”

“oldest gets to be batman so im batman”

“but i wanna be batman!”

peter walked you to your school before taking off on his skateboard

and he’d pick you up on his way home

on half-days your brother taught you how to skate

you fell a lot

aunt may had to patch you up

“how many times do i have to tell you those skateboards are dangerous?!”

peter got you your own skateboard so that you could practice without him

you would text him after you did a trick and he’d always say hell yes! show me when i get home!

being his photography assistant

really you were his assistant constantly

science fair was the most boring day of the year

“y/n, stand right here, i need to get something from my locker”

*judges walk up while youre left unattended and in a state of PANIC*

you were bullied in middle school, same as peter, he’d always stick up for you and get beat up instead

it made you very mad but it was scary, too

“how’d you get into this fight, peter?”

“oh, you know, just happened”

“peter was sticking up for me, uncle ben”

“was he now? you’re a good brother, peter”

lonely when he moved onto high school :/

but you got there soon enough

you guys were kind of loners, just ate lunch together, lugged around your skateboards, you were an artist, he was a photographer

just spectating the chaos of high school, rolling your eyes at the drama

“i have two bucks, do you want anything from the vending machine?”

“uhh, a coke?”

you saw peter get bullied by flash and lost your shitttt

you actually started a food fight after throwing mashed potatoes in his eyes

“what the hell, parker?!”

“sit down and eat your goddamn food, flash, or next time it wont be potatoes”

peter was half-proud, half-embarrassed

trying to see how long you could skate through the halls before any authority figures stopped you

sometimes......you guys got sent to the office together :)

*phone ringing* “hello, is this ben parker?”

“which one of them is it this time?”

the principal’s office was a trip sometimes

you and peter exchange your glances and wait to get scolded

“ah, the parkers, come in, lets have a chat...why do you two always feel the need to get in trouble together?”

“we just happen to get along really well for siblings”

no you fuckin dont lmaoooo

it was always something with you two

like always

*banging on peter’s door* “I KNOW YOU HAVE MY BROWNIES, PETER, GIVE THEM BACK”

*peter through a mouthful of brownies* “I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT, YOURE CRAZY”

“is that my jacket?” -peter

“you mean my jacket?”

“y/n, i swear to god if you steal any more of my clothes it’s over for you”

“well, aunt may keeps giving me your clothes, so take it up with her”

and then there was just the little annoying things

“peter, can you stop clicking your pen?”

*clicks pen faster*

“you’re the worst”

and my personal favorite

“peter, open the door”

“why?”

“emergency”

*opens bedroom door* “what?”

“aunt may is making meatloaf”

“shit, uh...get your board, we’ll skate to mcdonalds and tell her we already ate”

peter and you RARELY ever brought your parents up until he found your dad’s briefcase, you didn’t have much to say

soon he was flooding his room with conspiracies and pulling you in to explain them

he began acting REALLY weird, but he was pretty open with you, he told you he went to oscorp

“YOU SNUCK IN??”

“your standards for me are way too high, y/n”

soon you started to feel not-so-good and weird things started to happen

“peter??”

“yeah? whats up?”

“this is gonna sound really weird...my hand is stuck to the door”

“it happened to you, too??”

“happening, pete. wait—this happened to you?? what is this???????”

yall done fucked up and got bit by spiders peter had so carelessly brought back into the house

it was an adjustment to say the least

and this adjustment got a whole lot harder that one night...you can remember peter just...so upset

you tried to chase him out to make sure he was okay, but uncle ben told you to stay with your aunt

maybe if you’d have been there...it would’ve been different, but when the cops got to your house you were at a loss for words

peter was covered in his blood still

“hey, hey, just breathe, okay? it’s not your fault, peter. just hop in the shower, yeah? i’ll take care of your clothes”

when peter took your advice and you were left alone, you just cried, you cried until he finally found you curled up in a ball in your room

then he cried, you just hugged each other sobbing your eyes out

peter got distant for a while, which was rough since the two of your were mourning for your uncle and dealing with these newfound powers

sooner or later he came around and helped you out, designing webshooters and a suit for you

“we match?”

*sigh* “yeah...yeah, we match”

ah yes, spider-team

you really tripped out new york at first, they thought spider-man was a teleporter

peter was still talking about your dad, but you really didn’t care, uncle ben was always going to be who raised you

you and peter would be covered in bruises after going out

“uh—peter punched me”

“y/n???!!!”

“I PANICKED”

just being dumb scared teens that cant function to save their lives until they get a little bit lucky

seriously like, every big villain you guys fought was just the worst

peter didn’t help all the time, he was good at provoking them sometimes

“hey, spider-man, you mind shutting up for a minute? for my sake?”

“sorry, sorry, just couldn’t help myself!”

he gushed to you about gwen stacy, he actually dragged you to her apartment to be patched up by her SEVERAL TIMES

yadda yadda yadda peter graduated high school! how cool is that? but he was late (what a surprise) even though you put off spidering today just for this

but he made it and you clapped the loudest for him

“thats my brotherrrr!!!”

cute family picture! (aunt may printed a bunch of them and gave them to you two and peter pinned them to his wall)

you and peter actually have a lot of pictures of the two of you just goofing off

he has one of you stuck in a trash can that cracks him up every time

seeing harry osborn again after YEARS

“wow, y/n, last time i saw you i just thought you were peter’s annoying little sibling”

“aww, it’s good to see you, too”

electrooooo

this guy really worried you bc like, bzzzz shock

you and peter weren’t equipped for that

it took a while, but you were finally able to deal with that

and several other problems

including peter’s breakup, which was a whole ordeal of its own

*peter laying upside down on your bed* “i dont know, y/n, you know? i wanna be with her so bad, i love her...but her dad is haunting me”

*you, drawing on your notepad with your legs propped up on his* “yeah, makes sense”

you actually had to tap out during the end of electro, you were hurt pretty bad

“y/n, hey? yeah, you’re okay. stay here, just stay right there, i’m gonna be back for you”

*thumbs up to show youre still alive*

but when peter came back for you there was bad news, he’d lost gwen

he ripped his mask off and fell to his knees, you could barely move but you powered through it, giving him a hug while he cried

“we...we better get home before aunt may starts to worry”

she was at work, so you two had the place to yourselves to clean up and mourn before the official news was revealed

“i should have listened to her dad, y/n, this is all my fault”

he was a mess, you couldn’t bare seeing him like this. it’s been so long since you’d seen him like this

the funeral was rough, peter was grasping onto your shoulder the whole time

he insisted that he was going to stick behind and stay with gwen for a while

“okay, i’ll see you at home...love you”

“love you too”

you gave him a hug and left him to his business, the next few months you were the only spider-person operating in new york...until rhino popped up

“im coming with you”

“you’re sure?”

“yeah, im sure”

(these are kinda ass but anyways im tagging my marvel ppl even tho ik this isnt mcu so just ignore this post if you dont care, sorry!!)

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @allthecreativeonesaretaken // @frostedgiant // @praellee // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs //

[mypimpademia]

Pull Up

Bakugo x fem!reader

TW: Swearing, mentions of alcohol but no actual drinking, Bakugo throwing hands

Note: i got this idea from @liltodo

College AU

This was just supposed to be pulling up to his house but the party idea was just spontaneous and happened while I was in the middle of writing so I just went with it

Also, I still aint good at writing fights 💀 it just gets repetitive because its just a lot of punching. And I personally wouldn't wanna read that so im not gonna write it. But enjoy

As of recently, there's been talk of a TikTok video that was going around your campus. You hadn't exactly seen it, which was odd considering everyone said you were the subject of said video.

And no matter how much you asked people for the video, or account no one would tell you or show you. They wouldn't even show your friends.

At this point, you were sure a majority of the campus had seen the video. Even your boyfriend, Katsuki, had heard about it, and he couldn't care less about the media.

But that was least of your worries as of now, because you and your friends were about to go to a party to release the stress of this week. Of course, it was at a frat house party, so you knew most of you were all going to leave wasted and tripping over your own feet.

This is exactly why Katsuki was coming in the first place. He'd never admit it, but it was so he could protect you from random creeps. Denki and Hanta would always say they'd do it so Katsuki could keep to his old man sleep schedule. But inevitably failed, as they'd get distracted by any pretty girl as soon as they walked through the door.

Katsuki also didn't trust Ubers, hence he was also designated driver for the guys while Momo was yours.

"Katsuki, hurry up! The others are waiting for us." You beckoned your boyfriend, turning over your shoulder to see him lagging several steps behind you.

"Don't tell me what to do, this is your fault y'know? I could be asleep right now if you weren't going to this stupid party." He grumbled, stuffing his hands deeper into the pockets of his sweatpants.

"Well, if its that bothersome, then you can go home and sleep." You tested him, knowing full and well that he'd stay.

Katsukis back straightened for a moment, making his face visible as he tilted his hooded head up. He scoffed, before slouching back down into his normal posture.

"Bakubro, Y/n, over here!" You heard Eijiro call. You turned to look ahead, and saw everyone waving in your direction.

You rushed over. You took turns hugging Mina, Momo and Jiro, and as you turned to hug the boys, you realized they were all talking quietly.

"No dude, Katsuki is gonna flip his shit." Kirishima whispered to Kaminari. "Yeah, but like, shouldn't he be allowed to know? Its kinda his business." Sero insisted.

"Whats my business?" Katsuki grunted, brows already furrowed, like he knew he'd be upset about whatever it was.

"N-nothing Bakubro!" Kirishima blurted, jumping back and holding his phone to his chest.

"Kirishima! They both have the right to know!" Mina told him, snatching his phone, and holding it out to you and Katsuki.

The video started, and the 'Let's Link' TikTok audio started. The back green screen picture was a screenshot of one of your Instagram posts. One where you were in a rather form fitting outfit, and in a pose that showed off your body shape.

The whole time during the "I like you" portion of the audio, he was pointing up at your picture, and grinding.

And then cut to a video of you playfully flipping off Katsuki, the boy flipping him off along with you. The whole time, he mouthed "dont give a fuck bout yo boyfriend.".

As the video replayed, you realized you knew the guy in the video. You had a class with him, and tutored him every now and then. And on top of that, the party you were going to was his.

Katsuki must've noticed this too, because he stormed off to his car.

And he must've been beyond mad, because he damn near broke his door with the way he flung it open. Denki, Eijiro, and Hanta all chased after him, somehow managing to not get dragged and/or run over with the way he peeled out before they could even fully get in.

"Holy shit, everyone get to the car." You said, grabbing Momos hand and pulling her towards her car. Mina and Jiro rushed behind you.

You all piled in, and Momo started up the car. You were struggling to keep up with Katsukis speed.

"Momo, go faster!" You told her, hearing Katsukis wheels begin to screech. "But I'm going the speed limit!" Momo told you.

"Would you rather get a speeding ticket or be a murder witness?" You asked her. Momo contemplated for a moment before speeding up.

You arrived at the party at the same time as the boys, thankfully. But before you could even fully stop and park the car Katsuki was already storming towards the front door, the guys chasing after him.

You got out of the car before Momo completely parked, and chased after him.

"Katsuki-" You tried to call out to your boyfriend, who was almost literally fuming. But as soon as you got the last syllable of his name out, he already blasted the front door open.

"WHERE THE FUCK IS JORDAN?!" Katsuki yelled, palms already emitting small explosions.

"Dude, my door-" Before Jordan could get his last word out, Katsuki was on him in an instant. He had Jordan by the collar, raised off the ground, back against the nearest wall.

Katsuki unlocked his phone to display the TikTok he has sent to himself god knows when. "This you?" Katsuki asked Jordan, holding the phone to his face.

"Y-yeah, but i-it was just a joke!" Jordan sputtered. "WELL IT AINT FUCKIN FUNNY. DO YOU SEE ME LAUGHING?" Katsuki barked, making Jordan flinch.

"L-look dude, I'm sorry, it didn't mean anything. I don't want any trouble." Jordan pleaded, beginning to physically shake.

"Yo, Katsuki, its just a video, chill-" Denki tried to soothe Katsuki, placing a hand on his shoulder. "SHUT IT, SPARKY, ITS MORE THAN THAT, THATS MY GOD DAMN GIRLFRIEND." Katsuki shouted, making Denki jump back.

While Katsuki had his head turned, Jordan took the chance to land a blow to Katsukis cheek.

However, it clearly didn't give the effect Jordan expected. All Katsuki did was scoff in his face. I mean, he's been punched by All Might, a basic punch wasn't gonna do much.

After a moment of all of you sitting in fear and suspense, Katsuki slammed Jordan to the ground and started punching him till his face started going purple. The collar on Jordan shirt was holding on for dear life, but Katsuki wasn't letting up.

Eijiro clearly wanted to intervene, but cringed away from the scene upon seeing Jordans swollen face, and hearing Katsuki give him quirk enhanced slaps.

At this point, there was blood splattering in all directions, and you knew you needed to intervene before someone actually got killed.

"Katsuki, that's enough!" You grabbed your boyfriends bicep, pulling it back. You both knew he could've easily shrugged you off and continue, but he decided to calm down for you.

He let go of Jordans tattered collar, standing up straight and taking jagged breaths.

Jordan spit out several teeth, and mouth full of blood, before seemingly passing out.

Katsuki stepped back, turning to you. His bloodied hand grabbed your wrist, and he leaned in next your ear.

"We're leaving." He told you, before tugging you towards the door.

He stopped right before stepping out, turning around to face everyone.

"NONE of you saw shit, and tell dick face to make up a lame excuse. If any of you snitch, ill kill you." He growled, staring to tug you back to the car.

"Fucking bastards..."

[partiallysame]

League of Villains Imagine

Title: Can I Join Your Club?

Summary: y/n wants to join the LOV and unexpectedly shows up at their hideout

Pairing: Slight Dabi x reader but more just interactions with the LOV members

Word Count: 1.9K

Warnings: Language, mentioned sexual relations, slight gore (small part and not very detailed)

Note: Inspired by the song Cry by Ashniko ft. Grimes, lyrics will be in bold

Shigaraki, Toga, Kurogiri, Twice and Dabi were all in their abandoned warehouse hideout trying to plan their next move. Tomura and Kurogiri were sitting at a table across from Toga who was sharpening her knives. Dabi was across the room smoking with Twice. The conversation was more casual than constructive and the room was relaxed until a random voice appeared.

“Hi there” y/n spoke up, her voice cheery and kind. No one knew she was even in the room let alone how the fuck she got there. As soon as she spoke everyone tensed, Shigaraki and Kurogiri were on their feet.

“Y/n” Dabi said as he dropped his cigarette and put it out with his foot, his voice a mixture of surprise and slight annoyance. Twice’s head snapped towards him, confused as to how he knew this stranger. Almost as soon as Dabi said her name she spoke again.

“Dabi, you Fucking Fuckboy dont fuck up my plans,” she snapped at the man with the fire quirk, her voice clearly irritated and angry.

“Stop. Who are you and what do you want?” The group’s leader finally spoke up, now standing a few feet away from the intruder. He was staring at her through Father, her hair half up/half down, a skirt similar to Toga’s and an unbelievable amount of cleavage spilling from her shirt. She didn’t look dangerous, and definitely didn’t look like she belonged here. 

“Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry where were my manners? Hi, I’m y/n and I would like to join the League of Villains” The anger that was in her voice just a moment ago had dissipated and it was once again cheerful and kind. She was rocking back and forth on her toes while she spoke and her arms slightly swinging until she raised one up in an attempt to shake Shigaraki’s hand. Not a fan of the action Tomura grabbed the girl’s wrist and she tensed. Toga hadn’t been too interested in the situation until now and she sat up in her chair.

“Shigaraki” Dabi interrupted the interaction with a warning tone of voice, knowing what was about to happen. He could sense Kurogiri’s hesitation about the situation but Dabi knew Kurogiri was worried about the wrong person using their quirk. 

“Who do you think you are to walk in here with so much confidence, you clearly don’t know what you are up against girl.” the words were being spat out of Shigaraki’s mouth and he tightened his grip on her wrist as a warning sign, until his fingers lost their grip on her and his hand closed into a fist. Wait what he thought as he looked where the intruder used to be. Did she just disappear, he was snapped out of his thought by the feeling of a blade on his neck and his arm being pulled out to the side by someone behind him, another blade resting on his wrist.

“Lay another finger on me, you could lose a hand” her voice aggressive and right against his ear. Tomura shuddered and he wasn’t sure if it was because he believed her or because her breath was ghosting around his neck. Toga and Twice, clearly stunned and unsure of what to do, looked towards Kurogiri who was already looking at Dabi. Kurogiri was smart enough to figure out that the two knew each other and maybe Dabi knew more about what to do in this situation. Dabi just waved his hand at the warp villain as if saying “don’t worry, no big deal”.

“y/n why are you always so god damn dramatic” Dabi said to the girl while pulling a cigarette from the frozen Twice’s two fingers that he had clearly forgotten about. Y/n sucked in a breath clearly affected by the words and tightened the knives' contact points on the group’s leader. Shigaraki was gonna kill Dabi when this was over.

“Bitch are you trying to make me cry,” her eyes widened looking at Dabi and her voice quivered slightly until she let out a small giggle. She released Tomura’s arm which fell down to his side. She twirled the knife in her hand before pointing it at Dabi.

“Or are you trying to make me lose it?” The words came out of her mouth surrounded by little laughs as if someone had just told a joke. Her tone was teasing and happy. She lowered the knife before gently running it up Tomura’s arm, she blew into his ear and nibbled on his earlobe before disappearing and reappearing in front of Shigaraki like she was before. The entire ordeal only lasted about a minute.

“Whoops haha sorry about that” y/n waved her hand in a “my bad” motion. 

“So can I join your club?” she was right back to her casual demeanor once again.

Tomura was livid and his body language showed it, slightly hunched, scratching at his neck and puffing out breaths but before he could respond in any way, a noise went off. Her phone.

“Oops its time for my nail appointment” She was already turning on her heels to leave, hand stretched out to look at her nails. Y/n turned her head to look back at the group.

“I’ll come back tomorrow for your answer. How about the same time as today? Ooooh I hope you say yes” Her voice sounded so innocent and sincere. But Tomura wasn’t going to let her just walk away after what she did.

“Kurogiri” Shigaraki yelled and one of his warps opened where she was walking.

“Oh no thank you that looks scary” and with that she disappeared. The second she left Twice was jumping up and down. 

“ I like her!! Did she bite your ear? That's weird. No that's hot.” the words spilled out of his mouth while he wiggled around a little bit. No one listened though all eyes were on Dabi who had taken a seat at the table.

“Are you going to give us an explanation? Shigaraki huffed out at Dabi.

“That's Y/n. Her quirk is teleportation, skills are a mix between Toga and Kurogiri but her personality is a little more like Twice” 

“Oh I knew I was in love” Twice interrupted, his hands clasped together by his face.

“Anyway” Dabi continued, “Honestly she’d be a really good addition. She’s pretty loyal and none of the Heroes knows she exists” 

“Have you worked with her?” Toga asked.

“Nope.” Dabi’s answer confused the group until Twice started laughing and then crying and then laughing again.

“Come on man how long have you been sleeping with her? Does that mean she's off the market? Oh no you said loyal. Does that mean loyal to you?” his crying continued.

“Enough! I am not letting one of your nobody girlfriends join the League of Villains” Shigaraki was annoyed Dabi was on her side in this.

“Tomura her skills do seem like they could be useful, you should think more about it” Kurogiri added, always needing to be the voice of reason. 

“When she comes back tomorrow give her a task to do and let her prove herself” Dabi offered.

“Fine” Shigaraki was tired of this.

*NEXT DAY*

“Hi there” once again her voice came out of nowhere, startling the group. Twice did not hesitate to get closer to her today.

“So can I join your cool club?” the question came out so fast and eager while she played with her fingers, she was clearly a little nervous that they might say no. 

Dabi couldn’t lie, he liked seeing her here, seeing her fun little outfit again. Yes they sleep together but it's on her schedule, not his so it wasn’t ever as often as he would have liked. Dabi liked seeing her but definitely didn’t like Twice trying to worm his way next to her. Dabi strutted up to his fuck buddy who reached out her newly manicured hand out to grab the collar of his shirt once he was close enough and pulled his face close to hers. Not expecting the sudden motion, Dabi stumbled a little bit. She put her lips next to his ear.

“I swear to god if you said anything bad about me or claimed me in any sort of way, I will nail you to the wall. Shigaraki is hot and I will not have you messing up my chance with him or Mr. Bodysuit” she said referring to Twice and surprising Dabi with the confession. “Now if I don’t get let in and it’s your fault, you will never see me again.” her voice was harsh in his ear (he kind of liked it). “You got that baby boy?” the last words of her warning came out breathy, almost a slight moan in one of her quick mood shifts before she lightly bit his neck and pushed him away. The wide eyed patchwork man backed up as she stepped close enough to Twice that their shoulders were touching. Twice thought he was going to faint.

“Are you done?” Tomura asked, referring to her encounter with Dabi. She nodded.

“Good. Before you are considered I need to see what you can do” Shigaraki began explaining that recently a small gang has been bothering some of their transports and that he wanted her to take their boss out of commission, any way she wanted. 

“Oh is that all?” y/n asked, sounding genuinely confused. “Oh you’re probably going to set a timer or something like that.” She was trying to reason why his task for her was so easy and Shigaraki was trying to figure out what she meant by a timer. 

‘Ready Set GO” Twice yelled, he liked the excitement. As soon as the words left his mouth she was gone. 

Shigaraki and Dabi had been playing cards before she arrived and neither of them had the chance to sit back down before they heard someone scream. Wait not just one scream? Two? The two men turned to see two of the gang members tied up, sitting against the wall, each with a knife still sticking out of their thigh. Before they could think Y/n showed up with a third man, disappeared and then showed up with a fourth before disappearing once again. She was gone for longer this time. Everyone was staring at the four men who looked absolutely terrified. Dabi began to laugh a little. He knew she was good but this was wild. A loud thump from behind them got their attention. The group turned to see the severed head of the gang’s boss sitting on their table.

“Time!” Y/n yelled “how long was that” she asked slightly out of breath, wiping the blood of her knife onto her skirt. She then lifted her skirt slightly to put the knife back into her thigh harness, very clearly unaffected by the murder and decapitation she just took part in.

“6 minutes and 32 seconds” Kurogiri said from behind them, genuinely shocked. Y/n ran over to Twice and high fived him.

“Am I in? Was that good? I can do better if not.” All of her words tumbled out like a child who just asked their mother to time how fast they can run.

“Um, ya you’re in” Shigaraki said scratching the back of his head in almost a daze at what just happened. 

“Sweet! See ya tomorrow!” y/n yelled before disappearing again but she didn’t come back this time. The group stared at each other in disbelief, completely ignoring the four men tied up next to them.

“Ya she’s a little..” Dabi started only to be interrupted by Toga.

“Homicidal!” The young girl yelled excitedly

“I mean I was gonna say Volatile but that works too”