#meaning basically just living a normal day
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A passage from Life of Pi, on the perception of the ethics of zoos:
Well-meaning but misinformed people think animals in the wild are “happy” because they are “free”. These people usually have a large, handsome predator in mind…The life of the wild animal is simple, noble and meaningful, they imagine. Then it is captured by wicked men and thrown into tiny jails. Its “happiness” is dashed. It yearns mightily for “freedom” and does all it can to escape. Being denied its “freedom” for too long, the animal becomes a shadow of itself, its spirit broken. So some people imagine.
This is not the way it is.
Animals in the wild lead lives of compulsion and necessity within an unforgiving social hierarchy in an environment where the supply of fear is high and the supply of food is low and where territory must constantly be defended and parasites forever endured…The smallest changes can upset them. They want things to be just so, day after day, month after month. Surprises are highly disagreeable to them…In the wild, animals stick to the same paths for the same pressing reasons, season after season. In a zoo, if an animal is not in its normal place in its regular posture at the usual hour, it means something…a reason to inspect the dung, to cross-examine the keeper, to summon the vet. All this because a stork is not standing where it usually stands!
But let me pursue for a moment only one aspect of the question.
If you went to a home, kicked down the front door, chased the people who lived there out into the street and said, “Go! You are free! Free as a bird! Go! Go!”-do you think they would shout and dance for joy? They wouldn’t. Birds are not free. The people you’ve just evicted would sputter, “With what right do you throw us out? This is our home. We own it. We have lived here for years. We’re calling the police, you scoundrel.”
…Animals are territorial. That is the key to their minds. Only a familiar territory will allow them to fulfill the two relentless imperatives of the wild: the avoidance of enemies and the getting of food and water. A biologically sound zoo enclosure-whether cage, pit, moated island, corral, terrarium, aviary or aquarium- is just another territory, peculiar only in its size and in its proximity to human territory…Territories in the wild are large not as a matter of taste but of necessity. In a zoo, we do for animals what we have done for ourselves with houses: we bring together in a small space what in the wild is spread out. Whereas before for us the cave was here, the river over there, the hunting grounds a mile that way, the lookout next to it, the berries somewhere else- all of them infested with lions, snakes, ants, leeches and poison ivy- now the river flows through taps at hand’s reach and we can wash next to where we sleep, we can eat where we have cooked, and we can surround the whole with a protective wall and keep it clean and warm. A house is a compressed territory where our basic needs can be fulfilled close by and safely. A sound zoo enclosure is the equivalent for an animal…Finding within it all places it needs- a lookout, a place for resting, for eating and drinking, for bathing, for grooming, etc.- and finding that there is no need to go hunting, food preparing six days a week…an animal will take possession of its zoo space in the same way it would lay claim to a new space in the wild, exploring it and marking it out in the normal ways of its species, with sprays of urine perhaps. Once this moving-in ritual is done and the animal has settled, it will not feel like a nervous tenant, and even less like a prisoner, but rather like a landholder…defending tooth and nail should it be invaded. Such an enclosure is subjectively neither better nor worse for an animal than its condition in the wild; so long as it fulfills the animals needs, a territory, natural or constructed…One might even argue that if an animal could choose with intelligence, it would opt for living in a zoo, since the major differences between a zoo and the wild is the absence of parasites and enemies and the abundance of food in the first, and their respective abundance and scarcity in the second. Think about it yourself. Would you rather be put up at the Ritz with free room service and unlimited access to a doctor or be homeless without a soul to care for you?...Within the limits of their nature, they [animals] make do with what they have.
But I don’t insist. I don’t mean to defend zoos. Close them all down if you want (and let us hope that what wildlife remains can survive in what is left of the natural world). I know zoos are no longer in people’s good graces. Religion faces the same problem. Certain illusions about freedom plague them both.”
I just think that 'animals are living intelligent creatures that have feelings and deserve to be respected' and 'when done properly farming is beneficial to both people and animals and there's nothing wrong with raising and killing animals for food, clothing, and other products' are concepts that very much can and should coexist
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Thinking about sukuna and
that one "Kitty you better not be dead" song.
Like imagine him finding this abandoned cat (In the modern au) and laughing at it because it looks absolutely repulsive, drenched and dirty in a cardboard box but then it starts following him- making cute noises (it sounds like screaming rather than meowing) as if having a conversation.
He lives in a shitty apartment above a convenience store. Technically he doesn't have to, but he simply doesn't care enough to find somewhere else, let alone have the means to maintain it.
And then he realizes the poor thing is limping! So now he has to take it to the vet but- OMFG are cat medical bills expensive, and he was just a drug dealer on the low, but now he's gotta sell some REAL stuff 🙄
This guy would flop on the sofa after meeting with ONE buyer and let out the biggest sigh as if he just slaved away at a 9-5, cussing out the cat for being, "So fuckin' needy."
Now he has to do his research on public forums about the best cat food and gets pissy when the normal one he gets is out of stock. At some point he has enough and either buys in bulk or cuts a deal with the shop owner bellow (he is friends with) and pays them to add it to their shelves which he can now do because the cat encouraged him to start working seriously.
At first it was the vet bills, then he realised that food was expensive, and to set up basics like litter boxes, bowls... And of course the cat needs a leash? The vet said it would be best for his kitty to be an indoor cat and so outside appearances must be special, meaning their leash must be decorate and on brand. Don't get him started on the cold- the poor baby needs clothes too.
He unintentionally raised up the ranks in his "job", then got noticed by one of the higher ups in the underworld. Now he is doing the real dirty work. That also means his hours are more demanding and he simply can't have that. What was his kitty supposed to do all by themselves?
Now he has to take the kitty into torture rooms with him. Make sure they are strapped in when he does a drive by and tells the person he kidnapped in the boot to shut up because his kitten is sleeping peacefully in the backseat. What a pain.
There are only a few people Sukuna trusts with his pride and joy, two of them being Nanami Kento and Uarame, who were more than amused to see the ever so infamous man take such careful measures with the small creature. That being said they quickly put anyone else who openly acknowledges it in their place and have also formed a bond with the cat, even going as far to send gifts on its birthday and Christmas.
Sukuna would end up hunting down the person who left the kitty by getting into the street cameras.
He'd rather kill a thousand people than go a day without his cat.
I'm going to write something proper on this, i adore this concept SO much! PLEAASSEE leave name ideas for the cat!!!
#The cat looks like Wisp btw#yk that really messed up looking white cat on tiktok that screeches like a hawk#jjk#jjk fluff#thoughts#sukuna ryomen#jujutsu kaisen#sukuna#ryomen sukuna#sukuna jjk#jjk fanfic#jjk sukuna#jjk uraume#uraume#nanami kento#jjk nanami
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me: flying to another country
also me: fitting everything in my suitcase except for my leather jacket
ALSO me: carrying my leather jacket additionally to two suitcases and a backpack, telling my self 'Sirius Would Be Proud Of Me'
#cay making shit more complicated than necessary#meaning basically just living a normal day#could've just left it home but no#i HAD to take it with me#lol#cay whining about stuff only she is responsible for
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Eyy, King Reaper and his beloved Mage Geno designs <3
#new age au#Geno is very tall (tall Geno supremacy <3) and Reaper usually floats so he's just slightly taller than Geno on any normal day <3#if he unties his robe in the back it drags along the floor at the perfect height to feign being very tall-#ohh I have so many thoughts about them :]#Geno's magic manifests as crystals so he wears some on his outfit (and keeps more in his pockets)#the black and purple ones on his belt are meant to be a little reference to Reaper (and Dust. before meeting him he only has a black one-)#Geno also uses a Cane! he's insanely skilled and powerful but on sone days magic fatigue finally catches up to him and he has to use it#the black half-robe was also the only accessory Reaper could convince Geno to adopt from his kingdom- that and the Sandals haha-#(I like to think Error made Geno's scarf-)#and ofc Reaper...#he's been ruling for so long that he lives in comfort rather than appearance because. i mean. no one is going to doubt him at this point#he leaves his ribcage exposed as a show of his confidence in his rule (direct access to his soul basically-) but also because. well.#he thinks he's eye-candy 🙏#and in his kingdom the crown/sign of royalty are those olive branch circlets#he wears his over his hood usually. Geno recieved one when Reaper officially finished courting him. Dust would eventually get one. though#for him it's more the equivalent of a wedding ring since his loyalty lies with Nightmare still and he has little official ruling power in#Reaper's kingdom.#oh! Reaper also wears a littlr band Geno made him once on his ribs. it's a nice red gem that he's vaguely aware is actually a tracking spel#Geno thought he was being subtle about it. he. in fact. was not. but Reaper let him get away with it 🙏#oh!!! last thing#Geno sometimes wears a nice silk wrap over his bad eye that's a nice clean white. it usually depends if he's doing magic or not#because his eye tends to get melty again if he strains during casting. and he's always overdoing it lmao-#anyways yeah#mm lied one more note#Reaper's wings are optional. kinda like a manifestation of his Ecto in a way since he doesn't need them to float#more just sonething to make him more regal or appear more threatening!#now I'm done#my favorite goofballs <3#spot!drawn#my art
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see I can’t accept charles’ comic background and socioeconomic status as canon for the show because if I did that would mean the whole group would be a bunch of rich kids and that’s a horrifying concept
#ranging from vaguely upper class (niko and charles via comic logic) to presumably quite wealthy (edwin) to straight up ultrarich (crystal)#well off but doesn’t own a mansion -> owns a mansion -> owns several mansions in several countries#but yeah that aside. I don’t like the idea of him being raised upper class or even upper middle and yes I know he went to a private catholic#school that presumably costs a decent amount of money but for one we don’t Know how much exactly by that point in time (I’m assuming it was#more prestigious and expensive back in edwin’s day) and it’s not like middle class or even working class people can never afford#to send their one (1) kid to catholic school. like that’s really not too unusual. I know this is an american example but im thinking about#lady bird and her catholic school situation- her family was financially unstable and still paid for Catholic school because it was (in their#opinion) the best offering for an education in the neighborhood (and as someone who lives in the same city in the same Area of the same#city I can tell you that that choice does make sense even for a non-catholic. the public schools round here can be uhhhhhh rough)#so im seeing charles’ situation sorta like that#his dad seems like the type to want him ‘kept in line’ and ‘whipped into shape’ and I think he’d pay for that if he could manage it#idk something about charles is just……he has an appeal by being the Normal Kid amongst them. not raised as anything special. not having all#his needs met. never expecting to do anything super grand with his life. just a city kid yknow#anyway SOMEONES gotta know how to cook. I don’t think crystal or edwin have ever had to cook for themselves in their lives and niko seems to#live on instant ramen and i mean I bet she can cook very basic japanese meals but that’s about it#please for the love of god tell me charles learned some stuff from his mom and can cook an adequate meal#I know ghosts don’t eat but shut up#rambling#charles#dead boy detectives spoilers
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(tw blood)
just a silly little guy <3
(explanation in the tags + more stuff under the cut because i’m indecisive as hell)
#the rat doing an angst art for once?? damnn#was gonna shove fyodor’s body in there too but i couldn’t get it right and was unfortunately out of fucks to give#anyway this is based on a possible ending to bsd me and dia came up with the other day#basically the classic nikolai-kills-fyodor-but-doesn’t-know-where-to-go-from-there trope#but instead of nikolai’s despair manifesting as just ‘damn. now what’#he realizes fyodor was indeed not the thing keeping him from his freedom and neither was the government the law society etc#kolyas definition of freedom is being above literally anything and everything that could possibly hold him back#in simple terms. he’s trying to be a god without realizing it#hence why he treats normal human emotions such as guilt and regret for his crimes as chains holding him down#and shoves them under a cardboard personality that doesn’t experience these at all#so now that he realizes he himself is the only thing stopping him from attaining his definition of freedom#he’s like oh shit does that mean the very reason i’ve been living was nothing more than an illusion? and other misc mental breakdown vibes#if you read all that. damn wow i mean thanks#i diagnose you with gogol stan#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#nikolai gogol#nikolai gogol bsd#bsd nikolai gogol#nikolai bsd#bsd nikolai#bsd gogol#gogol bsd#bsd nikolai fanart#bsd fanart#fyolai#tw blood#bsd [rat edition]
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Porfiry telling Raskolnikov that at least he was honest and in one bound took the furthest leap to put his theory to the test of actual action——
#Taylor believing a man who is obviously lying to her#like. it’s fascinating to me how they’ll say anything to her and she’ll be like ‘okay let’s go’#she’s never read Jane Austen and it shows. but that’s okay because she’s the character in an Austen novel#she has no sense of self-preservation she has no common sense when it comes to love#and the reason I have endless patience for that is because she IS different. she is extraordinary. she is WEIRD. she’s so needy#so angry so fragile so stupid so brilliant so completely helpless#like the bolter———I can’t even LOOK at it right now#because you know she was like this since she was 5 and SHE knows it#just so. Different. so strange. I mean she ruled her family with an iron fist from the age of 11#and her packaging is so basic and she she had so much access to everything anyone could want#so there are none of the usual marks of someone being so Different#but like. people HATED her from day one. you know her own strength of personality was drawing out many people’s hatred or envy#and she’s so helpless in her own personality because she can never change#like thank you aimee? or whatever? heck yeah there was some girl who bullied her and brutalized her on the playground#and you know it devastated Taylor from day one and still does#and it’s just. I don’t know how people can’t see that someone with that extraordinary set of gifts#wouldn’t also suffer in such an extraordinary way#and ways that elicit so much scorn and non-sympathy because people are unsettled and jealous and annoyed by her#because she WILL find a way to win#but isn’t that proof enough that she is the very OPPOSITE OF NORMAL#it’s why people have to be like ‘oh she sold her soul to the devil for this success.’ or whatever the psy-op spy thing is#because there’s no human way to explain her success if she really were as basic/talentless as people say#ugh this is all so incoherent and irritating and I’m so sorry but I just. I cannot explain how protective my heart is of her#and all the many many mistakes she’s made and the prisons she’s made for herself because she’s LIVING the tragedy#of never having denied herself one time/getting everything she wants#and discovering the poison at the bottom of everything she reached for with desperate hands#like. I love her so much and I am so protective of her because she is so helpless and she is getting shot in the face every time#and she feels every blow!#whew I need to turn off reblogs and will probably delete but I just#this album is all of her spilled out and people DO hate to see it because a lot of people hate her!!!!
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Oh god is my fnafhs phase coming back. I have an AU Idea and it's very magical girl-y help (a Lil summary in the tags)
#basically y'know lily abby maggie toddy and mai? all the best girls? (ok except Abby maybe but I'll save her dw)#ok now imagine them as teen magical girls#a normal 2000's/2010's bff group who also kick ass in pretty dresses#now imagine mai and puppet being magical beings from another planet#kinda like the winx club characters that look completely human but they're fairies n stuff? there's a reason why the twins can look like-#Normal humans tho: their true form is a being like Maipett. they're two maipetts#BUT they can shapeshift to look just like any living beings they see#so they can very easily blend in with humans#now what are these beings? basically they're magical dudes that control the “Shadows”. evil spirits that can destroy life in pretty much-#any abitated planet in irreversible ways#one day some shadows breached from the maipetts control and directed themselves to earth as it was the closest living planet#so mai and Charlie as the strongest most able shadowseekers (group of specialized Maipetts with the mission to bring back Shadows to-#security in case of breaching) got a mission to go to earth find the shadows and bring them back. even destroy them if necessary#now what's the group mentioned earlier have to do with all this?#after saving lily from a shadow attack her and mai become “friends” (keep in mind Mai doesn't really know what friends even are)#but with time they do become very close#and since the shadows are never way too far from each other meaning that other shadows might be hiding in the same town Mai wanted to keep-#Lily safe. so she gave her a tiny rock that contains Maipett powers (Mai likes to keep them on her belt for decoration) and showed her-#basic attacks to at least keep Lily safe in case she gets attacked by a shadow and Mai happens to not be there#after a while tho Abby (Lily's roommate and childhood friend) finds out about her friends' powers and she thinks it's soo cool and things#but Lily and Mai especially aren't so cool about it cus pretty much all the situation is supposed to be a secret#so they and abby make a promise: Abby gets a magical gem and of course some lessons how to use it's powers and she keeps the secret#Abby agrees and she joins the group (that remains unnamed until the others join)#Toddy and Maggi were found by Charlie in the meantime. Charlie saved them both from a shadow attack and so Mai decided to give them-#magical rocks aswell with the deal that Charlie was the one to teach them about their powers this time#Toddy decides to name the group “The Shadowseekers” to reference mai and Charlie's literal job#and yeah they go on adventures around the city™ and sorroundings beating shadow's ass and learning to use their powers and work together#while also keeping the secret#idk it came up to me like some minutes ago#fnafhs
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God, I will never not enjoy how surprised nearly all my younger students get when they find out how much I know about video games. Like... but you're my teacher... and you're nearly 30... and you're a woman... how can this be??? 🤯
#my favorite thing is when they start trying to convince me to play their favorite games and report back to them about what i thought of them#it's so cute#plus honestly they already normally get so shocked when they see my gaming laptop... then they find out i actually use it hahaha#i am proud of the fact that i've been told i type fast by 12 year olds... that is a real compliment... they type SO fast themselves#god... on another note one little girl once saw my laptop stickers and asked me what year i graduated from miskatonic university#and then i told her it's a fictional school and she said “oh so you didn't go to the college of winterhold either?” 😂#once one kid asked me if i have a husband and kids and when i said no to both of those she goes “oh i guess you're alone” 😂😂#and then i told her i live with my two best friends and we mostly play video games and board games and tabletop rpgs all day#and then she said she wants to do that too lol#i told her she should do whatever she thinks will make her happy ofc#it is just amusing when kids meet an adult who doesn't act the way they expect... but honestly they adapt to new info so fast#i mean ofc they do they are designed to learn basically everything is new to them#they are funny because they get so shocked and then instantly recover
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i realized how much it scares me that my mind will convince itself of even the ugliest things if i start thinking them often enough and it's... yeah. like i had a good session with my psychiatric rehabilitation therapist i think it was very useful but then at the end i got hit by this feeling of fear... like i'm so scared of myself and how low i can get
#like i convinced myself the only way to deal with my pain and my problems was to attempt suicide so people would know i was suffering#bc i wasn't able to tell them#and i really really for real believed it and i did exactly that and it's very scary to think my mind can get so twisted and believe these#distorted versions of reality or twisted ways to get what i need or all the negative things i think of myself#and like i guess this is just part of working on getting rid of these beliefs. that i'm realising just how deep in them i am and that it#scares me#but it's not a nice feeling. i'm really trying not to judge myself for it that's not useful. i'm still learning how to not judge myself#for every little thing but god it's hard i'm so used to thinking i'm too much or not enough or too emotional or too stupid or inadequate et#just every bad thing under the sun#but even trying my hardest to mantain like a non judgmental view of this issue... the fear is the hardest part rn#it's just... i don't even know who i am? and that's also something we're gonna work on and started to a little#but i don't know who i am and so i just believe abt myself whatever the situation leads me to believe. whatever my bpd leads me to believe#whatever others lead me to believe#and the last one especially is perhaps my biggest issue. i don't know myself and i don't like what “myself” currently is and i live for#other people i live to please others i do things so others will like me or at least not dislike me so i can hate myself less#and really that's no way to live. and this is something this therapist is making me realize and understand#but it's just seriously so.... scary all of this all of this realizing i'm just an empty vessel that i fill up depending on the person i'm#interacting with and that i am.. nothing. like not nothing but like nico is not a formed person. i have molded myself to other ppl's tastes#and needs and if i try to look beyond that there's just this void or at least this question mark#i don't think i have like no personality? but well i do have a personality disorder so that's fucked me up! and it's! aaaa!!#if i think about the things i have convinced myself of by sheer repeating thek to myself all the time in my dark moments...idk#and like it was manageable when the dark moments had reduced and i was relatively okay. but as soon as i got bad again... oh#it started being a constant bombardment of negative talk to myself abt myself and a constant telling myself#well pretty much that there is no worth to be found inside myself. so unless this pain somehow goes away by itself i'll kill myself#that was basically my train of thought every day multiple times a day for months and months#that is scary!!!!!!!! that is so!!!! i'm so#sorry this is a mess. i'm trying not to cry bc i'm at my parents' house and my father's around but. yeah. just lots of feelings#and again it's probably normal i mean talking about these things is good! but feelings are bound to arise and some are hard to deal with#suicide tw#sorry i forgot the tw in my being upset in the moment
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baizhu is like a healer and dendro support.. and i want him in my "main" team... but like... i do main kaeya and ningguan THIS SHIT NEVER MADE SENSE MY MAINS WERE ALWAYS A BROKEN DISASTER AND BAIZHU DOESN'T FIT INTO THAT EVEN HARDER HELP
#bestie said that means i need to make a team for him#to main him#but brooo i literally cant imagine living without k-aeya bc ?? he is everything i need in a dd#and nin-gguang basically just does the rest of the stuff lol#geo and cryo was kind of a wacky combo from the day 1 and guess what nothing has changed#now im just trying to put dendro in the mix#i know i dont actually need to do anything i can have all 3 of them in one team just fine#but i do love elemental reactions which just wont happen in geocryodendrop team#WHY DID I HAVE TO MAIN THESE 2 LIKE THAT LASDHJASLKDJL#anyways b-aizhu is so real im gonna throw up holy fuck#adry.txt#also im extra unwell my fav group didnt disband but also maybe 2 members left the group i cant be normal ever i dont think
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I started by telling myself I shouldn't feel bad that I didn't get all my planned chores done: Saturday is a rest day, and we've just finished three weeks of crunch at work. (Next week might also be crunch but probably not; the product ships at the end of the week but we should be in good enough shape already.)
But then I realized: I ran three errands in the morning, and did three chores in the evening--even if one of the chores was just "cook a healthy dinner" and two of the chores were banking-related on a website. (But one involved sending text messages, and one involved an actual phone call to customer service, so I can't even really say they were just on a website.) That's six things I got done on a rest day. I may have overscheduled by saying I'd do at least eight things, but still, six things is very good.
#the things I did NOT do all involve a hand drill so#I have about average upper body strength for a woman which means I do struggle somewhat with hand drills#although these chores all involve walls not metal so it's not THAT bad--except it's sideways rather than down so I can't lean into it#so yeah that's a level of chores I was not up to on my rest day#tomorrow is too booked up for chores--I told my friend I wanted to hang out with them this weekend#since I said no two weeks ago (I was fully booked) and they had to cancel on me last weekend#and normally we meet in the middle for hiking (we live 1.5 hours apart) but this time they suggested I drive all the way out#and I said yes before I realized that's what they were suggesting#so that's fine--but I can't do anything else beyond that tomorrow even just basic chores#which is a little bit getting to me because a house guest is coming to visit in four days#and I really need the shower curtain to be properly secured to the wall by then?#anything else is gravy--I already have clean sheets for her and everything--but THAT needs to be done#I've been living here almost two months and have only knocked the shower curtain down about three times so it's really not that bad#I even hang my towels on it and it's fine BUT I know how to do it? and I'm like professionally good at manipulating physical objects lol#like being a mechanic of sorts is literally a significant chunk of my job#whereas she doesn't pick up object-manipulation tasks easily--especially not involving gross motor skills#in fact when I mentioned it to her she was like yeah that was something she was not going to be able to handle#if I didn't have it properly installed by the time she arrived#so uh... well not today or tomorrow#and Monday and Tuesday I have work... and she's arriving Wednesday#ok realistically tomorrow night I'm just going to have to suck it up and get to drilling no matter how tired I am from driving and hiking
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hahahaha. you dont say.
in any case i just read chapter 40 of trimax and i am. not the same.
#speculation nation#fanny reads trigun#tesla... oh tesla...#the discovery is horrifying in tristamp but it really has Nothing on this#them reading through the research reports. With Pictures.#seeing their SISTER turn from a normal & sweet looking child. into a husk of a body.#wires and tubes and scalpels and blood. and at the center of it all this poor kid with tears and a dead look in her eyes#and then them finding her corpse. preserved in test tubes in Parts. they couldnt even give her dignity in death#guts out brain removed organs separated ARM severed. this poor girl dealt with so much in life & it couldnt even stop in death#no wonder knives goes off the deep end after this. that poor kid so desperate for humans' approval#sees the truth about human nature. that curiosity that turned their SISTER into a pile of flesh in a few test tubes#hurts even more to see knives and vash bickering like brothers before this. theyre just KIDS and so was she#she never even got to be as old as they are here. dead by day 229. while theyve managed to live at least a full 365#it makes sense why Rem was trying so hard to keep them hidden. trying SO hard to prevent this from happening again#she was just trying to protect them. trying to raise them and Love them. as the children that they are.#i swear i need a fuckin DRINK after this. it's so fucking horrible#i say this with full love of the series of course but just. god. fucking. DAMN.#uhm.#trigun spoilers/#i mean my live read tag is basically a spoiler tag but Some posts are more spoilers than others#and this. this is some pretty big spoilers lol#head in my hands. It Hurts.
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.
#god ok . vent in tags#saur basically i have been stuck at home doing nothing but studying for the past. 3 years? idk#and now i am Finally starting irl in person school again albeit. Very Late into the school year#and my parents r like. obviously she will be distracted from your studies#bitch what fucking distraction. like. studying for 14 hours a day is not normal you Know that right. right. say sike rn#ugh fucking. im so angry. i want to live and make mistakes and be stuck in uncomfortable situations and then get to laugh about it later!!!#i dont want to spend hours and hours and hours with no one except my family and the internet for company#and this is so frustrating i want to live!!!!! i want to live i want to live i want to live#i want to live but i dont want to be alive. is this anything#alive is tedious. living is free. god i want to jump into a river#ofc i Can just do what i want to do but the specter of my parents disapproval will be hanging like the sword of damocles#mental illness moment <- she has realized she has only two states of being either manic energy or dissociative blankness#ergh the last 2 months have been filled with uncomfortable realizations about myself. what do you Mean constantly wishing you were dead is#not something that happens to other people#what do you Mean. wh#is living not incredibly hard for everyone. no??? its not supposed to be???? thats. huh#anyway. god im so tired#holding on to the faintest hope that it will get better. ive made a promise to stay alive till 21 at least#lets see if it really does get better. i hope it does
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Today I woke up at a reasonable time, ate breakfast, showered, washed my face, walked to the coffee shop, came home and finished four things, three of which were on my computer and one of which was fixing some pants. All within like three hours. Look at me. I'm neurotypical now.
#my favorite thing is saying im neurotypical after i finish a couple of basic things lol#i fixed my pants! because thick thighs save lives but they ruin pants#so i had to sew in three different places#im on a roll#its because i work later than usual today#normally i work 1-9 but its winter so hours are getting cut#so today i work 3-9#which means i had an extra two hours to do shit which is fantastic#i like winter because its not as busy so hours get cut#whoch means less stress because of less work. but more stress because less money#but i dont mind rn#more free time means its easier to finish things that are stressing me out#you win some you lose some#less money is a little stressful especially since i just paid my rent#but the dopamine boost from taking a walk and finishing four things on my to-do list is worth it#i hope yall have a beautiful day and finish something from your to-do list
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A cry for help from Gaza
My name is Salem, I am 26 years old. I am married to Hadeel, she is 25 years old, and we have two beautiful children: Laila (5 years old) and Bakr (five months old). We live in the northern part of Gaza.
Laila and Bakr are my heartbeat, the light of my life, and my everything.
The horrific story of the recent war in Gaza
Since the beginning of the last war in Gaza, our home has been completely destroyed, forcing us to be displaced. We had to move more than 10 times to find safety. During this harrowing journey, we faced extreme hunger and malnutrition that almost claimed the lives of me and my children. In addition, we have been exposed to many serious infectious diseases and epidemics.
Before: This is our homeland, our dream, and our promising future.
Unbearable hardships
Every day I have to travel long distances just to get water, and stand in lines for hours to get food. My children's mental health deteriorated due to the war, their education was interrupted, and they suffered from catastrophic hunger that almost claimed their lives.
After: This is our house, built with our sweat and effort, and it was completely destroyed.
The right to a peaceful life
My children deserve to live a peaceful life free of fear and anxiety. I dream of your help to support my family and escape this genocide. Your help means the world to me and my children.
The cost of arranging travel for an adult outside Gaza currently varies
Between $5,000 and $7,000, and $2,500 for each child, in addition to a cost of living of $500 per month.
How can you help?
Your donations can be a beacon of hope for us. Every dollar can help save my children's lives and give them a chance to live in peace. Your prayers for us to overcome this ordeal and lift the siege are greatly needed
Laila: My beloved, the closest to my heart, and my little one.
Bakr: My child who came during this horrific war.
Donate now and help us get to safety
May God reward you greatly for your generosity.
Background on the Gaza war
The war in Gaza has left hundreds of thousands of victims, destroyed infrastructure, and left many homeless. The humanitarian situation in the region has reached critical levels, with severe shortages of basic necessities such as food, water and health care. Children are the most affected, as they have lost their sense of security, education and normal life.
Your support is our hope
Your donation is the light that can guide us towards a better future. Don't miss the chance to be part of a story that saves a family suffering from unimaginable hardships.
Donate now and make hope possible
Thank you for your support and kindness.
My gratitude
Salem and family
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