#me: when you put it like thay
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As someone who has never been interested in vampires, I am extremely excited for BounPrem's vampire series.
It's partially because I love BounPrem, sure, but it's mostly because I respect the amount of very professional research and preparation Boun has committed to the role over the past several years.
I just think his artistry should be honored by my diligent attention.
Boun is a professional vampire fetishist, and that man will neck like no man has ever necked before.
#in fairness i did love first kill#give me back my soft vampire lesbian and her soft monster hunter girlfriend netflix you bastard#the other two thai bl vampire series airing this year will probably be enjoyable to the people who enjoy vampires as a genre#i just had no interest based on the teasers and the couples#i also trust bounprem to make it feel very very queer#whereas like#i do not trust the other two series to do that#the bp one is exciting because boun has been begging for a vampire series for years and i love when someone puts their soul into a thing#he's just been so cute and happy about it#and the fact that boun's passion project is part of what got prem's interest and motivation back is just#man#i so hope they just have a total blast with it because boun and i deserve it#bounprem#the vampire project#dear boun please give the series a real name please thank you please
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originnssssss who remembers origins i Loved origins
#origins smp#i heard theres been like three failed origins revivals WHAT EVEN HAPPENED i was only there for the first one😅#beeduo#otubbo#oranboo#beeduo fanart#i rewatched some origins streams a little while ago oh my god theyre SO FUNNY#DUDE DOES ANUONE REMMEBER THAT ONE STREAM I COUDLNT FIND RHIS ONE STREAM#IR WAS LIKE THE ONE WHERE TUBBO WAS SINGING SUGAR BY MAROON FIVE and they were being really Funny thay shit h#ad me CRYING in 2021 Please i swear this happened imnot crazy but also they might have been separate streams actuallu i dont rememebr its#been wayyyyyyy too long#BUT IT HAPPENED I PROMISE Sorry i've been gone for a while ive been very busy lots of Things going on went to Six flags then jad a surprise#bday party then i had to buy shoes for prom then Go to prom and also i do figure skating and am out like every day idknt have Time im sorry☹#had a crepe yesterday it was sooooo goood im like learning to drive too that shit is boring as hell my dad kept gettign 😑 bc i couldn't stop#yawning DRIVING IS SO BORING its not my fault😭😭😭😭#ok what else ohhhh. y god i locked in SO HARD for this physics essay u guys dont even knowim getting ONE HUNDRED on that trust i just really#wanted to share ok i love you bge#WAIT ACTUALLT SORRU IM LIKE REMMEBERJNG THE ORIGINS STREAMS K WAYCHED#RANBOO WAS SO FUCKING FUNNT IN THOSE STREAMS TOO LIKE I REMEMBER NIKI WANTED TO SEE THEIR BASE and tubbo was like ooh maybe we can put like#water down here for you niki we need a water system and ranwas like Do we though?I WAD WAYCHING THAT .LIKE DAMMMNNNNNN OM LIKE GIGGLING WRIT#ING THIS RIGHT NOW I CAN HEARTHE CLIP HE DID NOTTT WANT HER IJNTHEIR BASE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#I NEED TO FIDN THAT STREAM WHERE IRS LIKE TOMMY AND JACK A D FHEHRE LOKE TALKING ABOUT DUOS AND THEN JACK SAYS THE MOST OUT OF POCKET SHIT I#VE EVER HEARD LKKE I LITERALLU HAD TK PAUSE. H PHONE AND BURST OUR LAUHJIMG MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOORRRRR DO U GUYS R EME ER WTF IM TLAKING AB#OUT IDK HOW TO FIND THESE STREAMS Oh my god u really Had to be there early 2021 that was liye the funniest era of mt life i wlild be#Tearing up from lauhjimg every day I MISS WAYCHING STREAMS LIVE CHAT WAS SO FUNNY I wishe it was archivedI WISH MORE STREAMERS KEPT CHAT ON#SCREEN i defiently understand why most didn't like Wyd when chats annouing ad hell but also Me 3 years later is interested in what the pub#lic had to say.... ok Now bye
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Notes:
I think I definitely like the original versions more than the edited ones. I'm more happy with the grumpy Fernando one, whereas the bratty Seb one made me want to cease painting forever. So hopefully he looks good?????? I'm sure I'll soften on it, but yeah, not TOO pleased with it right now. His facial expressions are so cute and dynamic and unique until you have to try and paint it and then you dont love him anymore(kidding ofc, how could I ever hate my beloved boy king 🥺)
Anyways, these are them:
#the caption is a multi-pronged reference so if you get it you get it 🤭#hint: the quote is both a translation of a vettonso thing but its also not...exact. i added a little spice to it#so yeah translate all of that first(the first part of the quote wont work in google translate tho)#and then also the rest of the caption is both a reference to a real life thing but also me making it AUified !!#hehehe let me know your thoughts 🤭 was so fucking pleased w it when i first told C about it#ngl putting that quote was the main thing pushing me thru finishing the seb one#im like CMON YOU CAN DO IT!! IF YOU FINISH IT YOU CAN PUT YOUR SILLY LATIN JOKE!!! YOU LOVE LATIN!!#anyways i drafted this before i even really started the seb one#and my god LOOK AT THEIR HAND SIZE DIFFERENCE WOOF WOOF WOOF#did you guys notice...seb's ring...his wedding...ring? 🤭🤭🤭#wanted to add one to nando but his left ring finger isnt really visible but just so you know hes wearing it#I have a lot of thoughrs about rings and ungloved vs gloved hands grrrrrrr#theres a lot of meaning in it to me and it adds to their characterization so ill try and make a post abt thay sometime !#anyways pls enjoy the fruits of my labor.....#vettonso so good it makes me PAINT TWO PORTRAITS#i think before this au i was kinda trying to get away from painting csuse it stressed me out too much#and then the vettonso brainrot is so horrinle that im willing to paint for like...an undisclosed amnt of time#undisclosed not bcs im being secretive but bcs i have no idea and irs 6 am and i have school JSKFLVL#okay bur yes yes please enjoy. and enjoy my suffering as a purveyor of vettonso 🥹 id do anything for my lieges#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#vettonso#catie.art.#boy king au
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that's fair. i'm not into uty at all so this was just my thought process as an outsider 👍
Yeah that's alright!! It was funny input dkdnsknssn
#cake asks#im not kidding when i say thay headcanon was EVERYWHERE#and as someone who didn't see him that way in the first place it just. put me off the headcanon forever#not sure if it's more or less annoying than the star.oba ship. cuz that ship. is also super annoying#i will forever loathe the AU that made Chu.jin the twin to Cero.ba. like why would you do that?? THEY'RE CANONICALLY MARRIED????#i love this game. the fandom not so much tkenskansk
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WE STILL GOT ARCANEEEEE
#ambessa saying mel is safer as their enemy..... OOF we are going to get her side of the story this season#one thing i dont like is that they are really hauling ass in the first episode like damn. cait and vi are too quickly on the way to raid imo#i cannot velieve my fucking eyes..... vi dropping her gauntlets to keep kissing akdhaksjsk and OF COURSE cait is the one to do it OF COURSE!#were is thay gif of the butch watching football and raising her fist bc they scored that is me right now aldjsksnsl#vi saying please dont change bc she is seeing the signs is so AJDHAKSJK the break up will end lives..... i see why vi becomes an alcoholic#salo and cait wlw mlm hostility for reals#ambessa seeing cait as a rival the second she does her job and uses her military power.... yeah bc she has a real goal not just power grab#jayce fucking up vi and cait by messing with the arcane omg they are IN DANGER!!! JAYCE STOP FUCKING UUUP!!!!#OH MY GOD CAITLYN!!!!! HITTING VI ENOUGH FOR HER TO CRY OH MY GOOOOOD!!!#THERE IS JUST SO MUCH AKDJSKSKAL THE CHILD!!!! JINX GOT A NEW SISTER NOW VI GOODBYE#also vi wasnt going to kill her and jinx told the child to stop.... the only person there willing was cait and look at her.....#also sevika vs cait.... oof.... and jinx fighting vi BARE FISTED!!! GIRL!!!!#what can i fucking say like god.... “is her blood through your veins” “i thought you were different”#jinx is right i hope they got to you know before all of this akdjaksjsk.... christ#also amazing how vi told cait to don't change and she did it 10 minutes later.... girl you are in for it...#i think they just dont understand each other yet but they are in such a situation that they keep changing every 2 minutes so they never do#does that make sense loke ofc cait changed when her mother died and vi did too bc she accepted that her sister was gone#so in a way cait changed and vi stayed the same.... cait liked her “change” but vi did not like cait#ambessa bringing caitlyn to.be a general oh my gooooood her stress is going to get thru the roof like she doesn't have enough to deal with#its bc she knows she can control her... of course she offered her army to her.... and she doesn't mind putting her in danger#AND SHE DID ORCHESTRATE THE ATTACK!!!! OOOF#MEL PLEASEEEE TALK TO CAITLYN PLEASEEEE#like of course she disappears RIGHT NOW!!!#my god... also vis drinking buddy has left too.... of course.... you're good man....#talking tag#watching arcane#watching arcane season 2
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#it sure is difficult to make plans with my parents when both of them are in a habit of lying or withholding info to make people feel better#actually it's NOT helpful to book someone a different flight time than thay wanted because you think they'll be happier with a different one#and not tell them?#also not helpful to not tell me someone is coming and not tell them I don't know?#also not helpful to not say what you want and then try to force that to occur? particularly without knowledge of the logistics involved?#like if you tell me what you want and when you want to do it that's good. actively good.#“i didn't want to just put my foot down and say I want to (x)” actually saying you want to (x) would cause me to know that you want it.#which is useful.#instead of booking things before telling me to force the issue? that is definitely putting your foot down concretely?#BOTH of them.#they are flying out to visit and neither of them actually told/asked/confirmed me before booking tickets.#and they don't even have the same info as each other. because ????#also at least one of them is lying about when the tickets were actually purchased#blease#please. confer with me before booking flights to a city i do not live in to force plans to occur how you want????#or like inviting my semi estranged father without telling me?#'i just wanted us to all get along as a family and be happy and enjoy our time together' cool that was not how you achieve that end#blehhhhhhhh#you could also check whether I requested time off work! that would be good to do before booking flights#this is not the worst problem to have in the world. but i lost a lot of work and sleep to it last week and I'm still#getting blindsided by new updates
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webmastery is so like. weird when you're techkin like. this website is my house and i am building it from the ground up. i live here now. a tiny blob named goobert lives there too. hes my pet blob thing
#webmaster? no you heard me wrong its HOUSEWIFE#but also like. being all up in the code is so. whats the word#like. i belong there. doing that. putting in my silly little code for my 500th blinkie. thays what i have to be doing At All Times#which sucks absolute balls when you have both school and a job and cant bring your laptop with you#like. i could be tending my garden (sorting image files) rn 😢#meowing into the void#<p>forever thinking in html</p>#techkin#robotkin#otherkin
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does anyone else remember when james somerton got demolished on twitter for saying that the government should pay for incels to "sleep with" sex workers to solve male loneliness or did i make that up
#i'd watched a couple of his videos but got kind of a weird vibe and that tweet is what made me stop lol#looking back. my god thay guy fucking hates women.#and you get a better sense of it from todd in the shadows' fact checking video he just uploaded but um. weird vibes overall.#he spends an uncomfortably long time talking about how nazis were perfect specimens that americans were just soooo jealous of#he says the reason americans signed up to fight in europe is because they were jealous of how hot the nazis were#it's like when the worst person you know says people don't like them because they're jealous like i don't think that's the reason actually.#btw i put 'sleep with' in quotes bc i think there's a lot of nuance and complications regarding consent in that kind of circumstance
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:0
#currently resisting the urge to vote in my own poll to see the results#i wonder how many characters i can put in one tag#To mankind at Large the time is Com at Last the grat day of Regoising what is that why I will tell you thous three kings is Rased Rased you#What is a presedent answer A king bonne partey the grate has as much power as A king and ort to have & it is a massey he has for the good o#TIMOTHY DEXTER#Frinds hear me 2 granadears goss up in 20 days fourder frinds I will tell the A tipe of man kind what is that 35 or 36 years gone A town ca#[10]#The yong man that doth most all my Carving his work is much Liked by our grat men I felt founney one day I thort I would ask sade young man#TIMOTHY DEXTER.#mister printter I must goue sum fourder I have got one good pen my fortin has bin hard very hard that is I have hard Noks on my head 4 difr#The preasts fixes there goods six days then thay open shop on sundays to sell there goods sum sets them of better than others bolerhed when#[12]#one thing fourder I have bin convarted upwards 30 years quite Resined for the day the grat day I wish the preast Node as much as I think I#Noue mister printer sir I was at Noue haven 7 years and seven monts past at commencent Degrees going on 40 boys was tuck degrees to doue go#T DEXTER#fourder mister for A minester to git the tone is a grat pint when I lived in hamsher one Noue Lit babstis babler sobed A way just fineshing#T D'r#fourder what difrent wous wee have of this world & the other world two good women Lived in A town whare I once lived one was sick of a cons#and fourdermore I am for sum foue Decephons but very foue fouer then Deathe preast craft is very good for what to make old women gront and#[14]#FROM THE MUSEUM OF#ESQ.#Ime the first Lord in the younited States of A mercary Now of Newburyport it is the voise of the peopel and I cant Help it and so Let it go#that maks 2 in that state the king of grat britton mister pitt Roufus King Cros over to france Loues the 16 and then the grate bonnepartey#Unto you all mankind Com to my hous to mock and sneare whi ye Dont you Lafe be fore god or I meane your betters think the heir power Dont k#I waus to make my Enemys grin in time Lik A Cat over a hot puding and goue Away and hang there heads Doun Like a Dogg bin After sheep gilty#[16]#THIS COMETH GREETING#mister printers the Igrent or the Nowing wons says I ort to Doue as thay doue to keep up Cheats or the same thing Desephons to Deseave the#Chester
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I should recieve an acting award for not losing my mind when the girl who's made fun of my special interest (punk culture and music) tells me she wants to go to a punk rock concert because she likes one limp bizkit song
#not to gatekeep but#did you not make fun of my shitty diy clothes when i started to wear them out#did you not call me childish for listening to green day like a few months ago#did you not tell me to 'turn off this garbage' when i put on anything mildly punk aligned ??#if she did go i dont think anyone would hate her i just genuinely do not know what she is expecting when she is as judgemental as that#ok rant over i just needed to get thay out of my system
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ok so today i had my first thai class after a really long christmas break and somehow andreas gabalier (an austrian folk singer) and his music came up. and i don't remember what exactly my teacher said but he made a comment along the lines of "andreas gabalier is considered a standard good looking dude here in austria, right?" (my teacher is from thailand, so he wasn't sure about austrian people's preferences)
and his question was met with complete silence, because the thing is... our class consists of 3 middle aged guys plus one more guy in his mid 30s. and then there's me. the only girl
and since no one answered the question about andreas gabalier's looks, our teacher then addressed me directly and following conversation ensued:
teacher: "[airenyah]?" me: (feeling slightly shy and embarrassed) ".....i don't know what andreas gabalier looks like 🙈" everyone: (breaks out in laughter) middle-aged classmate: (highly amused) "i suspect he's not your type..." (me: "oh 🙈") "you're not missing out on anything :D"
i really like my teacher but god, let me live. don't put me on the spot like that 😩😩😩
#i hate when people ask me my opinion on somebody's looks#esp if that somebody in question is an older dude (as in significantly older than me. doesn't have to be ''old'' in reality)#idk!!! the person looks normal to me!!! person-shaped!!! idk‚ what do you want from me!!! i'm too asexual for this conversation!!!#we're not super close in this class (it's online which doesn't help with that either) so no one actually knows shit about my sexuality#and idk if my teacher put me on the spot for heteronormative reasons bc i'm the only girl in class#or bc he trusts my opinion (technically i could be considered an expert in austrian culture‚ i have a BA for that now lol)#but somehow my classmate's comment felt really reassuring to me somehow#i have no idea what made him think that that singer wouldn't be my type (maybe the age difference??) but like#so true man. so true. you don't even know#what even IS my type#airenyah plappert#stories from my thai class#also yeah everyone was laughing but it wasn't mean-spirited like. they weren't laughing AT me#i think my comment was just funny to them bc they probably weren't expecting it and so maybe they were surprised#or maybe bc i'm also the youngest in the group so maybe in their heads they were going ''aw she's too young to know andreas gabalier''#(i mean i WAS very much aware of him‚ i just never cared about him and his music and so i didn't care to know about his appearance)#the guys were laughing very amusedly while i was just sitting there like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ lmao (i too was amused when they laughed tho)#anyway i have since looked up andreas gabalier's face and he is literally just some dude to me#i do hate his hairstyle tho. it looks greasy with gel ewww#but yeah apart from that my opinion on his looks is that he looks like an ordinary human being idk#nothing good and nothing bad about it#(except yeah. the hair gel maybe. maybe that IS bad actually)
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some cis men out there really looking at kdramas and kpop and be like: no real life man would look like that (points at a real fucking human being), this is all plastic surgery ALL and EVERYONE of them (shows artists who didn’t have surgery), and no man is that nice and friendly to the ladies (bruh...). I know, because I am a random asian dude speaking for ALL asian nations and all my friends are ugly bastard heteronormative toxic masc men. I am here to protect you ladies from this illusion and them evil pretty men who just want to lure you in with their fake beauty, they will just use you. Also don’t rise your expectations for men ever not even a tiny bit :)
#screw women and their silly women interests and their unrealistic women desires of men looking and behaving nice#men putting the same effort into their style as women do? ugh unrealistic men would never wantthat#(newsflash some men do want that)#just spend half an hour on tiktok and already found the trash corner that will constantly get recommennded to me#holding back to not leave a salty comment#kpop#kdrama#as if no fan of kdrama or kpp or even thai idols would NOT know when they had surgery#it's not even a secret#you see their childhood and teen pictures#some even say when they let something get changed#they get the most expensive skin care routines regularly and vlog about it (at least thais)#they all obviously use make up and promote that even#men outside of the idol business also like that style and look like that#it's called caring for your looks and use abit of make up and a decent hair cut#and men don't being nice is just an excuse to be an ass while ther are indeed a lot of nice men out there#but yea the prettier a person is the more the chance that they are shallow af but that's not everyone
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customer at work told me that im really sweet and pleasant and that she had no idea how im able to do that while working at a grocery store. ma'am the secret is weed. im nice bc i am Fucking Stoned and so is my manager and at least one other cashier
#im also incapable of understanding when people want to be rude to me#case in point: old man was upset bc just self checkout was open one night#after i told him he said 'well im going back to cityname' and i was like. ok. why are you telling me this#then he shoved his cart toward me told me thay i had to put it all back and he stormed out#still took me a minute tbh#anyway many grocers are high. let them be. working at a food store fucking sucks let them smoke weed
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This fic honestly perfectly captures the little unsaid things about love. What one is willing to do, to learn, to say because they love someone THAT MUCH. The tapping of Bradley’s fingers, of him being anxious, wanting a good perfect night before he breaks the news of the little time they have left before he leaves. How honest he wants to be with her because he loves her so much that he has nothing but to place all his cards on the table. The hidden secret of a forgotten musical talent, out of fear of disappointing them while knowing how important music is to them. How its such a big part of his charm, and his life- and not being able to fully share it with him and the guilt and fear because of it. The wanting to learn again, because he inspired that part inside her that desires to learn, to express herself through a song, through music. Through the notes that speak for themselves even without lyrics. JUST GAH. TO BE LOVED YO. Alexa istg if you don’t have somebody that loves you this much, I’m hoping they find you. Because it is such a privilege to simply just read and imagine what it is to be loved like this and you express it so beautifully.
THIS IS YOUR HOT DRESS.
Leave a Light On
Summary: When Bradley had given you a key to his place, what he probably didn’t expect was to find you there at 2 am sitting at the piano you’d helped him find.
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader
Length: 7k
Warnings: lots of pining and yearning (Minors DNI)
(this was the story I was working on back in January, before the 'Like I Can' series and anything else on my masterlist. I'm so excited to share it with you all!)
When Bradley had given you a key to his place, you imagine he probably thought you’d check on his plants every now and then. That you’d pop by to give them a quick water and then be on your way.
Maybe that you’d take the Bronco out for a quick spin, so that his baby it didn’t sit there too long going unused. You were one of a very small handful of people he trusted to drive his most prized possession. There was something special about being behind the vintage wheel with the sun on your face as you cruised along the highway, even if it wasn’t the same without him sitting there smiling next to you.
He’d already put his mail on hold with the USPS, but you knew that he knew he could count on you to rescue any stray package that might slip through the cracks and make its way to the front door of his charming craftsman bungalow.
What he probably didn’t expect was for you to be there sometime past 2 AM sitting on the creaky bench of the old, but well-loved, piano that you had helped him to find.
You should be tucked away under the comforter of your own bed, in your own room, at your own place.
Instead, your fingers are navigating over the black and ivory keys trying, yet again, to make it through a tricky passage on a song that you’ve spent the better part of the last three months trying to perfect.
He was coming home soon and you couldn’t wait to hold him, to love him, to surprise him.
Each time he leaves, it gets a little easier to miss him. You wear your longing like a locket rather than an albatross around your neck, always there but easier to bear.
Rooster had a way of filling a space in a way you’ve never experienced before. His larger than life charisma was one of the first things that had caught your attention, followed by that damn smile of his.
He was always humming in the kitchen.
Or whistling in the car.
Or playing the piano to decompress after a long day.
Or listening to something on his mom’s refurbished record player.
His presence always so tangible and warm, like a blanket pulled fresh from the dryer. With Bradley around, you could wrap yourself up in the sheer comfort of him.
And when he was gone, it was the quiet that you struggled with the most. A constant reminder of just how far away he was. No texts or calls or voice memos throughout the day. No little everyday sweet somethings that let you know he was thinking of you.
The sound of silence followed you everywhere. Its heavy companionship making itself known regardless of how loudly you sang along to his favorite songs on the playlist he had made you or how many times you played through the song you were learning just for him.
You had grown up in the silence, you knew it well.
Parents who stayed together because it was easier than splitting the house and sharing the kid. And on the rare occasions it wasn’t quiet, it was loud. The kind that was inescapable regardless of how much you buried under the covers or how far you tucked yourself away in the corner of the backyard.
Until one day the glossy, satin walnut upright piano appeared along the wall in your barely used dining room. And then it soon became your favorite way to cover the quiet and to mask the loud.
Looking back on it now, maybe your parents had wanted something to fill the silence too.
The hours and hours of lessons you and Bradley had both been forced to sit through as children was something that the two of you had bonded over pretty early on. And while he had kept up with playing, it was something that had fallen to the wayside in your life. First with school, then with a career, and now with purposeful avoidance.
There was once a time when reading sheet music had come as easily to you as reading a book. And then one day, they were just a bunch of random dots scattered in between and across five lines on a piece of paper.
There was once a time when you didn’t even need to look down to know where your fingertips were flying to. And then one day, all your fingers could do was stumble and trip over the keys as you winced at the dissonance it created.
And when Rooster had learned about your mutual musical upbringing, he had made it his personal mission to try and get you to play something for him. He was so sweet, so sincere in the way he’d ask you, all big brown eyes and hopeful smiles.
It had always made your chest tight to brush him off. It was something he clearly wanted to share with you, but that part of you ached like a phantom limb. You didn’t know what would be worse embarrassing yourself or disappointing him with your lack of skill when it was something that you used to be so proud about.
It was easy to dodge him at first during nights out at the Hard Deck with your understandable Not with all these people here’s to your practical Mozart would just bring the vibes down’s to your evasive Maybe next time’s.
And when his polite requests were met with empty answers, he took it a step further.
One night in his bed, the curtains fluttering as the sea breeze mingled with his sandalwood scent, he’d whispered into your heated skin, “I’ll get you to play something for me one of these days. Maybe I just need to find the right form of bribery.”
His teasing innuendo juxtaposed deliciously with the deliberate touch of his fingers and tongue as he’d played your body to a perfect crescendo.
It reached a point where you couldn’t stomach to see the dejection in his eyes, the hurt he tried so hard to hide when you’d deny him yet again, that you had to own up to your closely guarded secret.
The confession had whooshed out of you in one breath, leaving you feeling deflated and defeated afterwards.
When you eventually mustered the courage to look at him, he’d been wearing the softest look of understanding on his face, as if he could sense the toll it took to admit the loss of that part of yourself. Then he gathered you in his lap and held you, all while the tears of frustration simmered behind your tightly squeezed eyes.
And when he offered to help remind how to read that language without words, to help you remember the letters of the keys beneath your fingers, it had made your heart hurt a little less.
You weren’t ready then, not like you are now.
But nothing gave you as much pleasure as it did to watch Rooster seated in front of the well-worn and well-played upright piano of Penny’s at the Hard Deck. There was nothing more exhilarating than seeing him in his element so at home on the bench, scuffed and scratched from performers of the past, as he shared that part of himself with everyone in the bar.
He made it look so easy. So damn effortless. His thick fingers flying purposefully over the keys as he played from memory. His joyous enthusiasm electrifying and substantial enough to get the whole bar singing along with him.
It always drew him a lot of attention.
How could it not? He was magnetic on a bad day and captivating the rest of the time. And entirely too handsome for his own good.
Interested eyes, curious eyes, hungry eyes followed him around more often than not after an impromptu performance.
However, those brown eyes of his were always set on you.
Never wavering, never straying from you as he’d weave his way poco a poco, little by little, back through the packed bar. Handing out high-fives to people on autopilot as he passed by to return back to your side. Glistening with the sweat he worked up and grinning widely as he’d greet you with a How’d I do, sweetheart?. Those big, capable hands sliding around your waist, in the back pocket of your jeans, under your top to rest on your low back.
The two of you never stuck around for long after he wrapped up. You didn’t mind helping him find ways to put that excess adrenaline to good use. Usually in the backseat of the Bronco.
You’ll never forget the first time Bradley serenaded you. The song meant for you and you alone.
If someone were to cut into that soft, pink part of your brain, you’re pretty sure they would find that memory pressed there like flowers between the pages of a book. Forever apart of you.
It was the song that always took you right back to that little vinyl shop along the pier. And back to that date that had almost derailed it all.
When Rooster had picked you up to take you to dinner all those months ago, he had seemed a bit antsy and absentminded.
Sure, he had gotten out of the Bronco to come fetch you like a gentleman, instead of sending some half-assed Here text like your ex had been fond of doing. You thought for sure he’d be hustling you back inside after he caught a glimpse of what you were wearing once you opened your front door to greet him.
So you were surprised when he’d simply pressed a dry kiss to your cheek and escorted you to his car with a hand placed respectfully between your shoulder blades instead of cheekily in that space between your low back and ass.
That spot that toed the line between decent and indecent. That spot that made him smirk when you’d give him a pointed lift of the eyebrow, because the two of you knew exactly what he was doing. And better yet, liked it.
However, that night it was almost like he was going through the motions, like he was already somewhere else.
The car ride to the restaurant was silent except for the white noise of the highway as he drove. The circular knob for the radio set to the left.
Off.
Which in hindsight should have been your first warning, since Bradley was never not listening to the Oldies station. A vintage vibe for your vintage boy.
When you were finally seated across from him at that new trendy Thai place you had been dying to go to, his fingers wouldn’t stop tapping out some unheard tune. On the tops his thighs. On the top of the table.
His eyes were landing everywhere else other than on you. On the large leaves of the potted palms, on the ornate pattern on the gold silk that was swathed across the ceiling, on the intricate hand-painted tiles on the floor.
You’d been trying to carry on a conversation for the past fifteen minutes and were feeling completely on edge when you had to repeat yet another question for him.
The anxious feeling growing in the pit of your stomach had been getting more and more difficult to ignore. You could tell he wasn’t really there, what you were trying to figure out was whether or not he just didn’t want to be there with you.
And god, the drinks hadn’t even come out yet. There wasn’t anything for you to distract yourself with other than your water glass, and even that was already empty except for a few melting ice cubes.
His half answers and noncommittal noises were rapidly clearing things up for you.
He’s breaking up with me.
It was at that crushing realization that the waitress had returned with your drink orders. The bright orange concoction that she set in front of you had been topped with a lovely purple orchid and glittery swizzle stick.
A happy looking cocktail for the girl who thought she was going to have another great date with the guy who was saved in her phone as “Golden Boy”.
“Have you two decided on what you want to eat? Or would you like to hear the chef’s specials again?” the waitress had asked, her gaze bouncing back and forth between you and Bradley.
You could tell that she was sensing the brewing tension between the two of you.
“I don’t think we’ll here much longer, maybe just the check--”
“Sorry, if we could have a few more minutes to decide--”
You’d both started speaking at the same time only to turn to the other wearing matching faces of absolute confusion. He’d gone ramrod straight in his chair, his fingers finally still on the tabletop. The shock in his eyes was apparent, and you could only assume it was there because you beat him to the punch.
The waitress had looked at you sympathetically before saying she’d come back in check in a few minutes and then quickly spun on her heel to take her hasty leave.
It was the look that she’d given you that had really sealed the deal for you, and wasn’t that just great? You wouldn’t have been surprised if the rest of the waitstaff was already hearing about the couple fighting at Table 12 and taking bets about whether or not they’d break up.
Lucky them, dinner and a show.
You’d reached the fruity drink in front of you, the condensation from the glass leaving a ring on the table and took a large sip for moral support. Feeling the weight his stare on you the whole time as you savored the tart taste of passionfruit as it burst across your tongue.
He’d just have to wait. It was your turn to ignore him.
As you’d swallowed it down, it had left you feeling more than a little angry that it tasted so good when you were feeling so shitty. He knew how much you liked an over the top cocktail, why couldn’t he have picked some dingy hole-in-the-wall to do this at rather than ruin this place for you? The hot prickling sensation of righteous indignation filled your chest.
You really didn’t want it to drag out any longer, setting your liquid courage back down you’d met his stare and got right down to it, “If you’re going to break up with me, Rooster, can you just do it now? I’d like to still be able to order Pad See Ew in the future without thinking about you and this moment.”
You removed the napkin from your lap, folding it up primly before placing it back upon the table as you waited for the final nail in the coffin to be pounded in on the remains of the happiest-and-easiest-and-clearly-too-good-to-be-true relationship you’ve ever had.
“Wait, what? I don’t want to break up.” His eyes were wide and searching, the hurt in his voice had been evident. And it was the first time all evening that he seemed to be present with you, like your Golden Boy had finally showed up to the date. “I thought things were going well. More than well, actually.”
“Yeah. I mean, I did too. Until tonight,” you’d agreed, defeatedly. “I’m really confused here. You’ve been completely distant tonight. Not to be vain, but look at me,” you gestured to the sexy lowcut dress you’d worn for the evening. It was something you’d been saving in your closet for the right occasion. And you’d thought it was going to drive him wild, but he hadn’t even given it a second glance.
You’d leaned in a bit, lowering your voice, “It’s a boob and leg dress, Bradley. I look really fucking hot, and frankly, I didn’t even think we were going to make it here once you saw this. It wouldn’t have been the first time we’ve missed a dinner reservation. And you haven’t said a single thing about it.”
It felt like a silly thing to be upset about in the grand scheme of things, but his inattentiveness that evening had stung more than you’d wanted to admit to.
“Trust me, sweetheart, I noticed,” he’d retorted hotly. His eyes had been heated as he’d matched your movement and leaned in further across the table. “Half the men in here noticed it too the second you walked in.”
You didn’t bother trying to hold back your scoff of frustration, the man was infuriating.
“Then I don’t understand why you’re making me feel like being here- with me- is the last place you want to be right now?” You’d given up on trying to sound unaffected, this was not the evening you had envisioned. It felt like being blindfolded on a rollercoaster, unable to see what exactly you were hurtling towards.
“I got my new orders today,” he’d blurted out, his eyes trying to read yours for the reaction. “I’m being send as aerial escort for a diplomatic mission. I ship out next Monday for six weeks.”
He’d told you later that he was grateful it wasn’t a longer one, he knew he was lucky because he could have just as easily been sent away for a deployment longer than you’d actually been together.
“Oh.”
You’d known that that moment would have happened eventually with his job, so you shouldn’t have been surprised. However, it was one thing thinking about it theoretically rather than looking at a ticking clock with a deadline.
“Cards on the table, sweetheart?” He’d waited for you to nod before continuing on, “I am really fucking into you. I’m trying not to put pressure on this, because I’m pretty sure you’re my dream girl. I wanted to take you out for a nice meal, get you a couple of those complicated fun drinks you like. I even looked at the menu in advance, they have one here that they light on fire and it seems like something you would love.”
He was right, it was something that you’d love. You had even eyed it when you first got the menu, but you hadn’t wanted to get anything that would draw you more attention when you already felt like you had too many pairs of eyes on you.
“Then I wanted to take you home with me and tell you after we had a great time out. I wanted to ask you to save that Sunday before I leave for me, so that we could spend the whole day together.” His fingers had started playing that unheard tune on the table again. “I wanted to show my girl the best time, to keep her wanting to come back and to stick around. So that someone else doesn’t catch her eye, so that I don’t lose her to someone better than me while I’m away.”
His confession had your heart taking up residence in your throat. Having him lay it out for you so clearly and knowing that he’d felt as serious about you as you did about him was everything you had wanted to hear. However, one thing nagged at you.
“Bradley, you make me happy. Like really, really happy. I’ve only got eyes for you. If I’m being honest, this stopped being casual to me around our third date. And I trust you enough to know you’d tell me if this”, you’d gestured between the two of you, “wasn’t what you wanted anymore before starting up with someone else. I hope I have that same trust in return, because if you’re worried about me stepping out on you while you’re away, I don’t know how this is going to work. And I really want it to work.”
“Shit, I’m really striking out here. Batting 0 for two,” he’d sighed out more to himself than to you, leaning back in his chair and running his hands through his hair. “Our third? Really? I thought for sure after that disaster that you were going to block my number.” He huffs a laugh, cheeks turning the same shade of pink that they had that chaotic evening on the beach.
“Bradley, it was comically bad.” You couldn’t help but crack a smile at the memory of it. “You were trying so hard and you were so flustered. It was so endearing.”
“Who would have guessed getting attacked by seagulls and coming home covered in sand flea bites could have been so appealing?” He joked self-deprecatingly.
“Me, I could have. Since I was with you,” you said sincerely, “No one I’ve dated has ever put half as much effort into trying to make me happy as you have.”
The two of you exchanged a soft, tentative smiles.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to imply you had a wandering eye or anything, I promise.” His eyes pleaded with you as he reached for your hands and threaded his fingers through yours, his palms slightly sweaty. “This deployment is different for me. I’ve never had to ask someone to wait for me before, never had anyone who wanted to. And I’ve been really in my head because I was trying to find the right way to tell you, to ask you.”
You were still getting to know all of the expressions of his face, but the look of open insecurity he was wearing was new to you. And you’d felt something deep in your chest release and unlock.
For how easily he owned a room, for how confident he could be, getting to see these tender parts of him because he trusted you with them had made you ache in the most bittersweet of ways for the man who was in front of you.
You held his gaze, taking in his anxious expression. How anyone couldn’t want this man or didn’t think he was worth the wait was incomprehensible to you.
“So Sunday the seventeenth, huh?” you’d said with a grin.
His relief was palpable as he’d squeezed your hand a bit tighter, “Yeah, baby, you up for it?”
“A perfect day with my dream guy?” you mused, squeezing his hand back, “Yeah, I think I’d be up for that. I’m up for all of it.”
Not just the date. Not just the deployment. You already knew. With him, you wanted it all.
When the waitress returned a few moments later, Bradley ordered a green curry for himself and the Pad See Ew for you. Along with one of those complicated, fun drinks that arrived with fanfare and flames, all while he played with your fingers.
And after you were finished, she’d dropped off a fluffy looking coconut covered dessert that she’d stated was on the house as walked away with a wink.
You’d totally called it, dinner and a show.
As you’d left the restaurant, he tucked you in close under his arm pressing kiss after kiss to your temple as you made your way back to the Bronco.
And later, when he had taken you back to his place for the night, your boob-and-leg dress forgotten somewhere on his stairs, he’d apologized again. This time with his mouth on your body.
Twice.
It had been a fluke, really, finding that record tucked away in that small, but well-kept shop on that Sunday before his deployment.
You’d surprised him with a certificate for a haircut and hot towel shave at an upscale barber for a little pre-deployment pampering. He’d gotten his hair trimmed the day before and he was somehow looking even more sunkissed than usual. His patterned shirt was mostly buttoned up and he had on your favorite pair of jeans- the ones that might have been a bit too snug, but did devastating things for his ass.
It was the outfit he’d been wearing when you had first met.
You and Bradley had spent a lazy, perfect morning at the beach reading and lounging and trading sea salt kisses before changing and to grab a bite to eat. He’d held up a towel up around you to slip into your sun warmed dress, behaving himself for the most part. But you’d still caught him sneaking a peek from over the top of the terry cloth.
After eating a late lunch at his favorite little café that served the best cioppino, you’d popped in and out of the various shops that dotted the boardwalk near the pier. It might have been the bottle of wine you shared, but he made sure to stop at every photobooth you passed along the way, collecting strip after strip of snapshots and tucking them into his shirt pocket.
His hand staying in yours the whole time.
When he’d spotted the tiny record store, he’d cheerily pulled you along with him wanting to look for new additions for his ever-growing collection. It was his newest hobby after getting his mom’s old record player restored. You had even helped him build the sideboard he had specially ordered for it to display his prized collection in the living room of his home.
You could hear him talking excitedly to an associate about some Jerry Lee Lewis albums, who offered to take a look in the backroom for him. You never had good luck when you tried to search for specific things, so you were happy to meander around a bit aimlessly and see what spoke to you.
Casually flipping through the stacks, you’d gasped when you landed on what appeared to be the holy grail of all vinyl records ever made.
“Bradley, look!” You’d held out the record for him like a prize. And he abandoned his own search to come join you on the other side of the store.
“Soldiers’ Sweethearts, huh?” He grinned at your find, his eyes crinkling around the edges. The navy colored jacket highlighted a trio of glamourous looking women, each of the three records featured a different performer and their covers of songs popularized during WWII.
“Mm-hmm,” you’d preened, feeling entirely too pleased with yourself. “You’re a soldier, I’m a sweetheart. I’ve never seen anything more perfect in my life. I have to get it.”
“Well I’m not a soldier, technically,” he’d chuckled, as you’d rolled your eyes at him. The joke had you scrunching your nose, and his mustache grazed you as he leaned in close to press a quick kiss to it. “But you’re definitely a sweetheart, sweetheart.”
You were still trying to learn the ins and outs of that part of his life. But you’d liked how he never made you feel stupid when you had questions. More often than not he seemed excited to answer them for you, that you were interested in what he did.
Rooster gently took your newest most prized possession into his big hands, “Let’s see what we’ve got here.” Flipping the album over, he’d scanned the tracks listed on the back for the three records. “Some classics, but a lot I don’t think I know. Definitely some intriguing titles, like ‘Daddy’,” he read aloud with a raised eyebrow and a grin that could only be described as lewd.
The man was a menace and had no problem finding new ways to make you blush. You were grateful that the shop was empty except for the two of you, as you felt the heat rise in your cheeks.
“What about ‘Who’s Taking You Home Tonight’? Have you heard that one before, sweetheart?” His large body moving in and crowding yours, the smell of his cologne making your thoughts go a bit fuzzy around the edges. Your heartbeat kicked up in tempo as he brushed a piece of hair off your forehead.
That find was definitely a jackpot.
Him and those records.
“Mm, or how about ‘Make Love To Me’?” He’d murmured into your ear, his free arm slid slowly against your waist, making a home for itself low on your back. The warmth from his hand seeping through your dress and into your skin.
It was heady being the target of all his heated words and teasing tone. The pull in your low stomach getting more intense with every moment you’d stayed pressed against his hard body. You could see how his pulse was pounding arditamente con forza, boldly with force, from how close your face was to that thick throat of his. And you had wanted to--
“I knew we had it somewhere!”
The associate’s cheery announcement as he returned from the backroom startled you back into yourself. Feeling flustered you’d tried to pull away, but Bradley just kept his arm locked around you as he’d made his way to the counter.
“Thanks, man. I appreciate it. We’ll take this one too,” he stated as he’d smoothly placed your Soldiers’ Sweethearts album on the top of the pile he had accumulated. Only letting go of you to pay.
Naturally, you’d wanted to play the record the second you made it back to Bradley’s place.
He set it up for you before giving you a lingering, deep kiss leaving you to your own devices as he worked on the final few things left on his to-do list before his deployment early the next morning.
You were happy to make yourself comfortable on his wide seat couch with an Old Fashioned listening to Jo Stafford’s soothing voice with your eyes closed, wanting to luxuriate in the moment.
One where Bradley was less than twenty feet away puttering around in his kitchen and humming and murmuring to himself.
One where you could call out to him and he would be in front of you in a few long strides.
You wanted to avoid thinking about the next day and the beginning of your new normal.
One where you couldn’t expect text messages from him throughout the day.
One where concern and uncertainty would follow you around like a dark cloud until he came back home to you.
But he was here for now. And you wanted to savor it all, to soak up all of its sweet, syrupy goodness like the expensive cherry in your glass.
He must have sensed the turn in your thoughts because his sandalwood scent gave his closeness away before his voice did, “What do you say, Miss Soldiers’ Sweetheart? Can you spare a dance for me?”
You opened your eyes to see him standing before you with his hand outreached for you. The smile so gentle and open on his face, made it impossible for you to do anything other than wordlessly nod your head in agreement as you’d let him pull you up from your comfy perch.
“Apologies in advance for any injuries caused by my two left feet,” you joked a bit bashfully as he wrapped his arm around you.
“Lucky for us, I was gifted with two right feet. Don’t worry, we’ll even out each other,” he murmured.
He pulled you into his gravity, pressing your joined hands against his chest where you could feel the steady beat of his heart. The hand on your lower back urging closer, closer until there wasn’t an inch of space between your bodies. His chin rested lightly on the top of your head where you had tucked it into that safe space where his neck meets his shoulder.
take me in your arms, and never let me go whisper to me softly while the moon is low
True to his word, he’d guided you in a smooth, easy rhythm. The confidence in his steps as you were held within his sturdy arms was enough to make you feel secure in your own movement. With him you were completely taken care of.
hold me close and tell me what I wanna know say it to me gently, let the sweet talk flow
Your other hand slid up slowly from where it was resting on his shoulder to wrap around his neck, fingers threading through the fine hairs at the nape of his neck as your thumb traced the thick column of his throat.
Come a little closer, make love to me
He held you tighter, held you closer, as the song came to an end. The easy rhythm turning into a gentle sway that continued as the next song began. And the one after that.
That night in his bed he moved against you with such purpose, such tenderness. The sex with Bradley was always stunningly good, he was never content to let himself come until he’d rendered you thoroughly boneless and breathless. He was easily the best you’ve ever had, but that night it was different between you two.
The mood weighty and intense, both of you exposed in a way you hadn’t been before. But there was no mistaking the deliberate way he touched you, the unwavering way he rolled his hips against yours, the unguarded way he held your gaze as if he was committing that moment to memory as he made love to you.
He’d held you close to his warm body, his fingertips leaving trails of goosebumps, as you shivered through your orgasm. His mouth pressed against your ear as he whispered soothing sweet somethings until he followed you over the edge.
For Bradley, you were up for it. For him, you’d be up for all of it.
yesyesyes
Things were a bit too quiet for you.
You heart clenched in a different way when you looked at Penny’s piano on those evenings you spent with the Dagger Squad without him. The ache was still there, but so was a new kind of longing. Part for him, but also for yourself.
But you’d made it through that deployment with the help of your three favorite sweethearts: Jo, Vera and Anne. Although you always queued up one song in particular anytime you found yourself missing him a bit more than normal.
And when Bradley returned back home to you six weeks later, it was easy to fall right back into him. That quiet period was almost too easily forgotten when he was around to fill a space.
That night at the Hard Deck when he serenaded you for the first time, it was normal for him to strut over to the old jukebox to unplug it. His timing impeccable as always, silencing whatever country song Jake had queued up.
What wasn’t normal was the way he took you by the hand leading you directly to the old upright and pulled you right onto the bench next to him.
There was already some sheet music spread across the shelf, you’d noted as he’d wiped his hands on the outside of his jeans before settling his hands on the keys. It only took you a couple bars of the intro to realize what song he was playing, already completely enamored before he’d even opened his mouth to sing.
It was your song.
Nothing in the world could ever compete with Bradley Bradshaw’s deep, raspy voice singing just for you. The significance of the song meant for you and him alone.
You heart had swelled in your chest until you thought it might burst from happiness. Never in your life had you been so thoroughly swept off your feet. It was a gesture came from his heart that made a home in yours.
Ever the showman Rooster put on a full performance, his aviator sunglasses sliding down his nose as he really leaned into it.
Your wide grin had turned to laughter when a few members of the Dagger Squad jumped in as back-up vocals, singing into their beer bottles in a way that obviously had been rehearsed. You didn’t know how he managed to keep it a secret. While Rooster was a vault in his professional life, when it came to his personal life Bradley couldn’t keep a secret to save his life.
The whole bar was having fun with the jaunty tune, some couples dancing along in smooth circles on the sticky wood floor as he crooned. He’d leaned over to place a kiss on your cheek every now and then in between verses, and you’d felt yourself fall for him even harder.
He’d pulled you into his lap once he was done playing, as the din of the resumed chatter softly cocooned you. You’d seen all you needed to know reflected in his eyes as you wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him down for a kiss.
“Will you play it again?” you’d asked against his lips.
“Yes, ma’am.” And you rested your head on his shoulder watching his fingers get into position on the keys once more as he played the few opening notes.
Somewhere you heard a groan followed by a grumbled, “Not again.”
“Shut it, Bagman,” you bossed at him, not even bothering to look in his direction. You only had eyes for Bradley.
“You heard the lady,” he chuckled. “Shut it, Bagman.”
And then he played it again.
take me in your arms, and never let me go
You should be asleep in your own bed and not at his place with only the soft light of the lamp above his piano and a now cold cup of tea to keep you company.
Tired of tossing and turning, you’d given up on the idea of getting any sleep at your own place after the second hour of trying. Throwing on your slippers, you’d grabbed your keys and then drove over to his place, still in the oversized t-shirt you’d put on before bed, in hopes that scent of his sheets would help lull you to sleep.
But all it did was make you miss him more.
It was too quiet without his soft breathing next to you as he held you close and tucked against his chest.
Too quiet without his records.
Too quiet without his happy humming.
Too quiet without him.
The sound of the tea kettle on his gas range had helped fill the silence, but it was his piano that had called you as you had waited for the water to boil. The sheet music you had left there from the last time you were over beckoning like a siren’s song.
It was your secret.
Only for a few more days, only until he came home.
You wanted to surprise him, to sweep him off his feet the way that he always did with you when he played for you.
During that first deployment, for the first time in years, your fingers yearned for the feel of cool, smooth keys beneath your fingers.
You hadn’t even told Bradley, the one person who would understand it the most, that you’d been thinking about it. Let alone that you were actually taking classes again. Making up excuses about manicures or errands or spin classes for why you were busy for an hour every Tuesday at five PM.
The thing that had once hurt your heart the most, was now the only thing that helped soothe the ache of missing him. The only thing that made you feel close to him when you were thousands of miles apart.
You wanted that familiar comfort of making music. You wanted it because you missed him, but you also wanted it for yourself.
A co-worker had given you the name and number for her kids’ instructor, Mrs. McMullen, an elderly woman who started teaching after her husband passed away. It took you couple weeks to work up the courage to make the call, the sticky note burning a hole in the pocket of your purse you had tucked it into.
You had been an anxious mess the day of your first lesson, hands shaking like you’d had one too many shots of espresso. It felt strange, a little surreal sitting there in the body you’d grown into on the padded bench in her cozy living room. One of the walls filled with shelves and shelves of sheet music, her own personal library.
And for a brief moment, you were transported to a different year on a different bench in a different room. Now and Then. Older and Younger. Both versions of you there to learn. All too familiar, yet entirely new.
You started with the basics. A reintroduction to those lines on the page and the notes that spoke their own language for those who knew how to read it.
Your fingers wanting to move quicker than your sluggish mind, like an echo of a memory of how it used to be. You winced and apologized after every wrong note, until she put her hand on yours, her skin looked as delicate as her fingers did, and said gently, “We learn by doing, mistakes only mean that you are trying. Once more, once again.”
After that first lesson, you’d gone back to your car and promptly burst into tears. Overwhelmed tears, happy tears. That tender part of you still soft, however no longer aching.
You’d left feeling lighter as you pulled away from her house to go meet up with everyone at the Hard Deck, but also with a packet of sheet music to practice for your next lesson.
When Rooster had told you about getting his new orders, when he had asked you again if you were still up for it. You’d told him the same thing you had at that date, you were up for it all.
You would take the sadness with the sweet any day of the week for as long as he was yours.
You’d known how you would fill the space he left behind. And exactly how you wanted to welcome him home. You’d been excited to put that certain song just for him in your cart, and then tacking on one more song to your order, a song that would be just for you.
Both you and Mrs. McMullen had be surprised at how you’d been able to pick things back up over the months, you still weren’t anywhere as good as you were when you were younger, but it wasn’t nearly as daunting as it used to be. And when you showed up to your next lesson after your songs had been delivered, she was more than happy to help you figure out ways to simplify the songs a bit so that you’d be ready when he returned.
And now you’re bent over Bradley’s piano with a pencil tucked behind your ear as you played through the hardest bit of the song, you’ve lost track of how many times you’ve gone over it tonight. This morning? You were in that liminal space between yesterday and today. Where the time on the clock was just a suggestion because it felt neither here nor there.
You had practiced and practiced the song you had wanted to play for him once got home. You’re pretty sure Mav wasn’t supposed to tell you the significance of that particular song, but it had made your heart flutter wildly in your chest when he’d told you. And every time you’ve heard it since then.
It was polished, it was perfect, it was ready. All you needed was him.
The one you’re playing now con amore, with love, is the piece you pull out when you long for him the most.
The cover of the song had made you think of him from the moment you’d heard it. It was more lyrical and delicate than the original, and captured just how you felt about him. Just how much he meant to you. Sometimes you sing along with it, sometimes you just let the keys and pedals express the things you otherwise could not.
It was the song of your heart.
Your fingers trip over one of the notes yet again, probably from the lack of sleep, but you weren’t ready to crawl back into Bradley’s comfy bed. Not just yet.
Sighing, you pull the pencil from behind your ear, muttering to yourself out loud as you note the spot on the page. It was already filled with little pencil marks, some older and some newer. All made because you were trying.
Once more, once again.
Breathing out slowly, you settle your hand back on the keys-
“Can you play it from the beginning this time, sweetheart?"
He's a sneaky one, friends! I have Part 2 in the works, not to worry! We have to see how it all plays out! (put intended)
Thank you for reading! Let me know if you would like to be added to my taglist for the grand finale!
Here's a link to the Soldiers' Sweethearts Album, if you're curious!
But this is their song, the one Bradley serenaded her with! Jo Stafford's version of 'Make Love to Me'
You can check out my other stories here!
And a big thank you to Jordan (@gretagerwigsmuse) for letting me spam you about this one!
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#also lmao you said they were at a thai restaurant so when the waitress put down that orange drink i was like THAI ICED TEA??? A SOLID CHOICE#a fancy fruity over the top cocktail is a solid choice too i just thought it was a thai iced tea cause i adore that beverage#also this lowkey hit hard when she confessed she doesnt really remember how to play#like i used to play violin so when i tell people they get all excited only for me to tell em i quit and cant even read the notes#like its that excitement of something only to have the truth of it to not really be fulfilled#who doesn’t love dinner and a show? and free dessert 😂#top gun maverick fanfiction#read this fic bitches#top gun maverick fic#tgm fic#tgm fanfic#bradley bradshaw x reader
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I just found such a huge roach in my bedroom right before getting ready for bed 🤢🤢🤢 Looks like my bug induced dreams are coming back tonight, boysssss 😭 I thought I'd left the bug nightmares behind two years ago when I moved out of my old hell hole of an apartment but I have a feeling this is gonna set us back 🥲
#shut up hailey#if you know one thing about me know that it is that i hate cockroaches#i literally have a special (possibly insane) method for killing them specifically so i don't have to squish them and touch their bodies#(it involves an old hand vac and a can of bengal roach spray...put that information together how you will)#but i seriously used to wake up at my old apartment and find roaches on the ceiling above me and it gave me nightmares#because i hate them so much#i also know way too many horrible roach facts because they beat way to kill your enemies is to know them really really well#I also think I've developed a sort of premonition feeling for knowing when one is nearby#or when I'll see one soon#like i just know.#and i hate thay im right???#but i guess I'd rather see it and get rid of it than be ignorant of its presence??#anyway. i hate this.#sorry these tags are riddled with typos
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stalker!Simon decides to have a little fun with his favourite camgirl.
the message comes up halfway into your "show."
it's a boring night. slow. you wear a lingerie set one of your viewers sent in beneath a silk robe, all in a pretty pastel pink—cliche, but it works; an uncomfortably disgusting version of hair theory unfolding in front of your eyes—and discreetly chug wine when you twist away to grab a new toy. a series of pale pink vibrators, nipple clamps. mundane depravity for what's shaping up to be a lacklustre night.
but the money that pours in from these little shows (adult version of classic party games—hide and seek, would you rather, truth or dare) is one step closer to erasing your debts. student loans. car payments. rent. you smile so wide it aches, and put your best face on when you blink, coquettish and coy, at the camera where nameless, faceless men throw money in a ring for a scrap of your attention.
tonight's game is Simon Says. and it's supposed to be normal. boring.
but a message from a viewer named Simon (in a sea of many who cheekily changed their usernames to match the theme of the game) stands out.
Simon says... go lock your door.
you blink. between all of the Simon Says touch yourself for me baby, pull your shirt down, lemme fuck you for real it sticks out. a change in the routine.
you huff, pouting. "already did that, Simon. c'mon, gimme something else to do, honey."
another one pops up. Simon says... you shouldda got a dog.
your brows furrow. "that's not part of the game, Simon. i'm gonna move on—"
Simon says... open your door.
he's paying you handsomely. dropping coins, large amounts of money, for each message to shoot to the top. little superchats. why he isn't taking advantage of it and paying you to do something sexy, something lewd, unnerves you. your heart starts to race, thudding against your ribs almost painfully.
it's fine, you think. he's just a creep. a loser. "uh huh, not part of the game, Simon. i'm afraid i'm gonna have to cut you off—"
you block him. they don't normally get under your skin like this. ever. at all. even when they throw random names in your dms, hoping one of them happens to be yours, and try to blackmail you to your fake friends and family. it doesn't bother you as much as this. as him. get a dog. how absurd.
the next series of chats pass without the same odd comments. take your bra off, but leave the robe on. act coy, like you don't want to—
creeps, you think, in their own right. but. paying ones. so, you smile. stiff. uncomfortable. grinning so wide it hurts. pretending to ignore the strange unease growing in your guts. your eyes sliding back to the superchats saved in a glowing log. let me in. a troll. whatever. it's nothing. nothing. you'll drink wine after this, scrub your skin raw in the shower and buy yourself something pretty with the money these greasy losers threw your way—
Simon says... let me in.
you feel your heart in your throat. it can't be him. you blocked him. you have mods to keep trolls out of your chats, but wonder—hopefully—if maybe it failed. maybe they found your stream are just being weird. strange. but when you check, the filters are on. he's a registered user. paid the premium to watch you. to get an invite to your special game nights. it makes it worse, you think, that he paid to be here. to do this.
your hand shakes. you block this user, too, ignoring the discomfort churning inside your chest. the fear spiking along the nape of your neck. hair raising. there's a prickle on your skin. the feeling of being watched
no. it's fine. you're fine—
"ah, what else should i do, Simon?" you ask your viewers, pulling on another smile. one that hurts. aches. wobbles around the edges. you'll end the stream in a few minutes. order Thai food. drink yourself stupid. take the day off tomorrow. use this creeps money and waste it. blow it on something stupid. dumb. laugh about it with your friends.
your shoulders dip. the tension easing. you're fine. you're at home. the door—
you locked it. right? you definitely, absolutely, locked it when you brought in the package from the delivery driver. the massive, hulking man who loomed in your doorway, too wide, even, to fit inside, and growled out in a low, brassy timbre: sign 'ere. you took the pen, pretending he wasn't drilling holes into you with his gaze, eyes liquid in the dark. intense. wanting. and then scurried inside—
back pressed against the door, hands wrapped around the lingerie set.
you glance at the chat. "which Simon bought me this cute set? i'd like to thank them personally," you murmur, forcing your shoulders to drop. it's fine. you live in the middle of nowhere. no one is coming to your door.
there's no takers in the chat. you shift on the chair, licking your lips. "it's really cute, Simon. a perfect size, too, and i just—"
something catches your eye in the corner of the monitor. a movement. a slight shift. a whisper of fabric. you tilt your chin, peering into the hazy black reflection.
what you're looking at doesn't make any sense. your bedroom door is open. a curtain of black drapes over the wall where the pale strip of light doesn't reach.
the washroom light is still on, a yellow spill illuminating the hallway, but nothing is there. no one is in the hall. but you know you closed your door. you always do when you stream. your heart trips over itself. leaps to your throat. you almost choke on it—
another bubble pops up. Simon says... hey. uh, who is that guy behind you?
there's a ringing in your ears. your hair stands on end. something moves again. the black mass wasn't a shadow. it moves. takes shape. the covered head nearly reaches your ceiling, body filling the entirely of your room. massive. a mountain you remember thinking. a fucking mountain, you texted your friend. thighs the size of tree trunks—
a hand reaches out, grabs hold of your power bar. thick gloved fingers curling over the button. in the bluegreen glow of your computer screen, a man steps out.
"glad y'liked it, pet." the deep, brassy drawl sends shivers down your spine. you try to scream, mouth opening wide to choke it out, yell for help—
your chat bubbles up, feverish in their excitement. you skin through the messages, stomaching churning as it clicks in your head. their rabidness isn't about saving you, but—
(omg he's gonna fuck her pron??? we're getting pron????? no fucking wayyyyy god i wish it were me—)
this isn't a fucking bit, you morons, you want to howl. call the fucking police—
but he gets there first. two strides. it happens in a blink. the screen goes back and he's on you in seconds.
you're not even sure how someone so big, so heavy, could move that quietly—
"ah-ah, none o'tha' now," his hand curls around your neck, tight. choking. you try to fight but he just huffs, breathing in deep, chest expanding across your spine as his other hand snakes around your waist, trapping you against a corded forearm. he bends down, nuzzles his jaw into your crown. coos:
"Simon says... turn around for me pretty girl, an' be good, now. went through all this trouble t'find you. think i deserve a little reward—"
#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#simon riley/reader#ahhhhh i woke up outta a dead sleep to write this im sorry
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