#me: want a 10 page thesis on them????

[kcrabb88]

Quinlan Vos and Obi-Wan Kenobi Are Not Normal About Each Other (A Thesis Statement)

Fandom: Quinlan and Obi-Wan have had sex, but it’s a reach to think they could be in love and/or care deeply about each other in some manner, it was just physical (this is not me saying I don't think they have sex I HELLA do and I've written a lot of smut to prove it, but I've seen wayyyy too many posts that basically say they can only be romantic as Padawans and NEVER as adults and/or were just fooling around as teens and didn't have deep feelings in some way whether they're FWB or romantic partners or whatever you like)

Me: *unrolls my scroll* I'm here to make a POINT as an addendum to this post I made recently.

Look at these little darlings! They just met and Quin's already trusting Obi-Wan, and Obi-Wan WANTS Quin to trust him. In another panel from this same comic, Quin helps Obi-Wan with his anxiety and it's very sweet.

Quin's been struggling with the dark side while undercover, and everyone thinks he's really truly fallen and can't be brought back except for Aayla, Tholme, and, YOU GUESSED IT! Obi-Wan. He goes looking for Quinlan on his own and finds him and they chat. Plus, look at this flashback of these little nerds flirting. Quin literally falls into the river and almost dies trying to flirt with Obi-Wan.

What do I even say about this panel??? Look at them!! Look at Quin trusting Obi-Wan with the dark parts of himself and Obi-Wan believing in him? Look at that hand clasp? Like shut up I can't take it.

Obi-Wan refusing to leave Quinlan behind and Quinlan, stubborn Quinlan, listening to him.

Their banter here shows how well they know and play off each other and that joke in the last panel SENDS ME.

This is from the new comic that came out in September, and this is just ONE instance of several of Quinlan mentioning Obi-Wan, who only appears in this comic via a psychometric vision, but Quin keeps bringing him up anyways.

I mean this is. THIS is what made me WANT to know more about Quinlan in the first place! It's not in this gif, but the way Obi-Wan smiles in this scene? The way his eyes light UP? That's love, babey.

I could literally paste so much stuff from Dark Disciple, which to me has always been a QuinObi book in addition to Vostress. Quinlan has fallen (pretty much without understanding he has because he so badly wants to uncover Sidious) and missing his check-ins with Obi-Wan, but Obi-Wan keeps going back to their bar over and over again and he's been waiting for like, two hours at this point when Ventress comes in.

"Not him." Okay, buddy. Okay. Obi-Wan has like three panic attacks and outright defies his fellow council members at various points through this book because he believes so hard in Quinlan. He is INSISTENT that Quinlan can be brought back to the light.

These two pages made me SOB.

"She saved Quinlan" in italics. Not just his life, but his spirit. Those italics speak for themselves. And "Vos knew he could never repay Kenobi for that, but he has the rest of his life to try." Do ya, Quin? The rest of your life, huh?

Anyhow, truly, this is just me scratching the surface as I was limited by only being able to use 10 photos in a post. I’m leaving out sooo many other examples. You don't have to ship them! But these guys care a lot about each other and saying that it's just, impossible for them to have romantic feelings on posts or fics where the creator is, indeed, shipping them is ... weird. So is trying to overlay other ships onto specifically QuinObi content.

This has been a PSA.

[qqueenofhades]

Can I request a further rant on Alice Albinia's The Britannias please?

Anonymous asked: 'Further rant available upon request' here is my official request.

Aha. You are both prompt and accommodating. And it is my lunch break, so let's do this!

For context, this is the book in question:

This book was recently published, comes highly reviewed and (as I said) has apparently already been longlisted for some prestigious nonfiction writing/women's prizes. I got it from the library the other day and started reading it; I'm about 150 pages in. It has given me an increasing Itch to the point where lo, yes, here I am on Tumblr about to compose a Statement. This may be because of what the book blurb states upfront as its focus and goals:

Trespassing into the past to understand the present, The Britannias uncovers an enduring and subversive mythology of islands ruled by women. Albinia finds female independence woven through Roman colonial reports and Welsh medieval poetry, Restoration utopias and island folk songs. These neglected epics offer fierce feminist countercurrents to mainstream narratives of British identity and shed new light on women's status in the body politic today.

Okay... well. Basically, she wants to write a history of Britain as focused on its islands, which in itself is a perfectly valid thing to do. As she states in the introduction, focusing on the history of a place through its physically and geographically marginalized locations, its relation to the "mainland," the constructions of power and identity, how one resists and influences the other, is all a very interesting thing to do. It's just how she does it that gives me a twitch. Her clearly stated goal is to find a "hidden women's history" wherein these "fierce feminist countercurrents" are allowed to inform and eventually subvert a totally androcentric and oblivious mainstream British history that has apparently prevailed largely unchallenged ever since antiquity, and where the Male Process of History deliberately destroyed and excluded all female contributions. She is somehow, apparently, the first one to notice this and/or put it together.

Now I'll be honest, the Secret Magical Women trope also gives me a twitch wherever it appears, whether in saccharinely self-important historical or fantasy-historical fiction or in this case, attempted historical nonfiction. Albinia's thesis also seems, essentially, directly lifted from Marion Zimmer Bradley's Mists of Avalon fantasy series in the 1980s: the pagan Celtic/British tribes were egalitarian, proto-democratic, female-led and/or female-centric, and the conquering Romans/Christians/Saxons were all virulently misogynist, masculine, authoritarian, and determined to stamp out this wherever it appeared. I have only gotten up to about the year 1000 (it goes chronologically), so I can't speak to what rationales Albinia comes up with for the later centuries, but let me just say: Hmm. It says a lot about the overall style of this book that I read the first 10 pages and then immediately picked up my phone to check Wikipedia and see if she was a TERF. As far as I can tell, fortunately, she isn't, but it does give me the same binary gender-essentialist vibe (men are from Mars, women are from Venus), and yikes. Basically, there are a lot of things going on here, and all of them are Not Good when it comes to the actual practice and investigation of premodern women's history:

First, while Albinia cites a few research articles (via endnotes) and translations of primary sources (thus far, mostly Roman and early medieval) we know nothing about her qualifications for using these sources, how she is comparing and analyzing them, whether they should in fact be taken at face value, whether anyone else has written on these topics (spoiler alert: yes), or why we are supposed to buy her narrative of this Hidden Female History of Britain. For example: she includes several passages from Roman writers discussing (reported) actions or (reported) mythologies of British women or British female-associated places. These are presented as uncritical and general fact, or something which we should apparently assume was really happening as described, even when she (occasionally, and shallowly) points to the issue of using exterior and non-contemporary male writers from far away. Her analysis also does not touch at all on the potential metatextual or political impulses these Roman male writers might have for presenting a freshly conquered imperial territory as corruptly or unacceptably feminine, and whether this correlated at all to an overall real-world practice or belief. Yes, as far as we can tell, the ancient Celts were in some ways more "feminist" than the Romans, in that Roman public culture was deliberately and exclusively masculine and patriarchal and any civic participation by women in other societies would thus appear as more than usual. But that is a whole can of worms for many reasons, none of which are highlighted or dealt with here. (Like... are we even going to talk about how the "Roman standard" for society was itself re-created by the Renaissance and how that shapes Western historical views, or...?)

As I said above, the book completely brushes aside any of the previous existing scholarship on these topics (done, you know, by actual historians) and presents it as Albinia discovering these issues or formulating these arguments for the first time. She does mention a few other people whose work she relies on or who are informing her hypothesis, but several times thus far, this is from the 1920s or some other clearly outdated argument. Nobody in the field is still treating arguments made in the 1920s as au courant, and while I can't say for certain, it reads as her being more able to access older or public-domain work (since more up-to-date publications require institutional access or paying for copies) and doing the equivalent of the people on Wikipedia who cite the 1911 Catholic Encyclopedia for everything: they can get that text for free, so that's what they refer to. Now obviously, we all support uncovering feminist strands of history, doing feminist history, challenging heteronormative or patriarchal narratives, etc. But also, we support doing it well and making some reference to the complexity of it!!!!

Likewise, Albinia is a white British woman whose previous books are based on her time living and traveling in India and Pakistan (both of which are, uh, previously British colonies). I have not read them, so I can't speak to how she treats it, but there's certainly an element of exoticizing them here, and while she does make passing reference to the British Empire's effect on those places, she does a sort of weird inverse here. She obviously knows about the basic facts of empire and colonization, but there's a notable amount of time dedicated to portraying ancient/Celtic Britain as the helpless victim of constantly brutal Roman colonization (she makes a few very brief and offhand references to cultural miscegenation and how this process unfolded in ways apart from violence, but they are clearly secondary to her main thesis of this as a masculine rape analogy). She is very clear about mourning for this "sacred divine [female] Britain" which was then destroyed by the unrelentingly violent and misogynist forces of Roman (cultural/military) and Christian (religious) colonization, and as I said, that is straight up Marion Zimmer Bradley. I haven't gotten past said first 150 pages, but I'm not terribly confident that her historical analysis improves much in the centuries to follow.

The book does have some bright spots: it's well written, it's engaging, she includes some colorful and interesting sociological vignettes about life on the margins of modern Britain, and there are certainly some things she's mentioned that I would like to look into in more depth. But yet again, this is being presented as an Authoritative or Revelatory History deserving of recognition and prizes, when there are real historians who have done so much of this work and in so much better ways. There is very little nuance to her thesis, no context or analysis or critique provided for her sources (yet again: why are we supposed to take Roman men as an authority on British women and why is she presenting them as obvious empirical fact while critiquing all other elements of their system/society?) and some squicky assumptions around gender and empire that really would need to be drawn out and examined in more detail. The Secret Magical [Pagan] Women Erased In History By Brutal Men gimmick is one that got a lot of traction with Philippa Gregory (sidenote: bookstore websites really need to stop recommending me Philippa Gregory for Women's History Month before I do crimes), and has been exasperatingly hard to eradicate ever since. Just to name one, we need to talk a lot more about the gender politics of medieval Christianity, any of the work done on this topic already, or anything else that would complicate her argument beyond the simplistic black-and-white state in which it currently exists. There are plenty of historians who would like to do that! Why don't you give some of THEM a call?!?!

Anyway. There is probably more I could say (and might), but I will leave it here for now. Thank you for the indulgence, etc.

[thedreadvampy]

I'm trying to give Conflict Is Not Abuse a fair shake because I think it's important to unpick overstatement of harm.

and the introduction felt really clear and coherent and strong in laying out the thesis; acts of harm occur when one of both parties construe the other as having threatened them, and often that threat is not real and could be avoided through reflection and communication.

so she swings into chapter 1 with the idea that we're all responsible for reflecting on conflict rather than immediately jumping to the worst case We Are Enemies Now scenario

ah yes. I agree.

she chooses to illustrate this idea in several ways:

If I flirt with someone I assume she might interpret it as harassment, but she should consider that we're both fine actually because Actually she's probably interested in me but struggles to recognise her own feelings.

A friend is under huge pressure and has to cancel plans last minute so she sends me an email, but I don't WANT an email so she should be understanding and spend 5-10 minutes on the phone so I feel better, and the fact she doesn't means she doesn't care about me

Sometimes Women Say No But Mean Yes

A woman I went on a date with didn't text me back. I'm going to devote 2 pages to how she's clearly full of rage at me because she's unfairly judging me for being overbearing, which is very short sighted of her. At no point in that do I offer any possible explanation for not texting other than She Despises Me.

My most charitable response here is yeah Sarah you're right we should reflect on whether we're assuming harm in arguments. Can I suggest you start by turning the mirror around real quick? cause not one of these examples involves the possibility that she might be making some assumptions of her own.

[simplymarr]

Chapter five.

warnings: +18 smut; fingering, penetration, kinda praise kink?

notes: FINALLY i was so nervous but excited to write this. i know some of you were waiting for this so this chapter is long af. enjoy.

Head buzzing. Cheeks still warm. Heart racing.

As i went to bed that night i couldn't stop thinking about it. That kiss. My skin still shivered just thinking about his touch. His hands cupping my cheeks, his warm lips against mine.

He'd be the death of me.

One side of me was completely mad about him, and the other side was just as concerned.

What would we do now? What if someone found out? My heart almost hammering in my chest as i thought of my classmates' faces if they found out. I didn't want them to think i was trying to seduce him to get my thesis done, i didn't need to do that. I wasn't that kind of person, and he knew it. Or i least that was what i expected.

Thursday morning was already slamming at my door. All my thoughts still rambling through my head as i entered the classroom, and then there he was.

Formal but simple clothes as always, his hair always in-between of being put together and decontracted, his characteristic front strands fell on his forehead.

He looked at me stealthily among all the people during all class, and i could sense that he was thinking about it too.

As the bell rang, always at 10 am, i hessitated. Should i go and talk to him? should i go? All my doubts vanished as i saw him slowly walking towards me, as he was doing time while all those people left the place. Hands in his pants pockets and a side smile. Oh my fucking god.

"Hey".

"Hey".

Silence; the tension almost intoxicating the two of us. He broke it first:

"Listen, i was thinking about last tuesday and-"

"You don't have to worry about it, you know?" I said, stopping him mid-sentence. "You're my professor, i'm your student, it's all clear". My tone trying to sound convincing as if we didn't just made out in his car two days ago. Obviously, it wasn't that clear.

He smirked confidently, looking at me. "I know that".

I looked at him quite confused; Was he the same man that acted all nervous an hessitant last week? Didn't he care at all?

"Well, okay then".

"I've read your progress on the thesis, it's going very well" he continued like nothing happened, though i sensed some tension in his tone. "Though I have made some corrections starting from page fifteen that i would like you to look at".

"Oh, okay." I didn't even know what to say. "I will look at it when i get home then".

I looked at him, batting my eyelashes nervously as he kept watching me stoic, almost analyzing my movements.

Then, all of the suden, he grabbed me from behind my neck with both hands and pushed me against a near wall where nobody that would enter the room could see us. He kissed me hungrily, breathing heavily due to the fast movement that he had recently made. I responded quickly, closing my eyes and grabbing him from behind his neck as his hands traveled from my own neck to my waist, bringing me closer to him. Our mouths devoured each other, this kiss was not like the previous one. This was a hungry, sinful one, as if neither him or i could wait any longer. As if we both knew that all this could only bring trouble.

Heat starting to fill my body and his when suddenly a loud noise echoed the space, like a door slamming in the distance, not the one in this room but it felt like it.

We both broke the kiss in a heartbeat as a instinct reaction. Chests coming up and down quickly, eyes filled with unsatisfied hunger.

"I want to see you again". I whispered to him. If it was still a bit of shame left in me, it was already gone.

"Would you like to come home? you could bring all your drafts"

I laughed at his innocent proposition, given to what just had happened.

"I would love to" I said, smiling at him.

"8 pm is alright? I could pick you up if you want"

I looked at him, smiling nervously.

"What? it's not like you haven't been in my car before" He said, with a smirk.

I laughed and gave him a playful hit on his arm. "8 pm is just fine".

He smiled, quite hessitant. I could sense that he was just as nervous as me.

I mean, the damage was already done, right?

-------------------

Nighttime had already come beneath us as he parked outside his house. A big, but modest one. Light grey walls and big windows, now covered by dark blue curtains.

The inside felt very cozy; warm lights, a round, wooden table at one side with a brownish sofa and big book shelfs.

A few wall paintings and a wine cellar from where he picked a bottle and two wine glasses. I looked at him almost blushing at the whole situation.

He was wearing a grey sweater and dark jeans, a bit more casual than what he'd wear at class. Silver hair perfect as always, the lines forming in his mouth as he smiled and handed me the filled glass.

"Thank you". Our fingers touching so slightly as i took the glass. He sat besides me at the sofa.

"Well, how did you do?. He said as he pointed at the drafts and papers on my hands.

"Pretty well, i would say. What do you think?" I handed him the papers as he put his glasses on.

He observed them in silence with a hand in his chin as i looked him with doubt. He chuckled to himself as he read them.

"What?" I said, opening my eyes to him.

"You are very incisive" He said in a playful tone, french accent dripping deliciously onto each word.

"I thought you already knew that".

He smirked as i continued: "Takes one to know one, right?"

The warm, subtle lights carressing his features as he drank the red wine.

"What makes you think that?"

"It just seems that you always know what you want".

He stayed in silence and sat closer to me. One hand on the sofa backreast, behind me. I continued:

"Do you?". Maybe it was the wine, already starting to hit on my words, or the way his eyes looked darker in the night. He smiled softly at me.

"I don't always know, no" I looked at him over my eyelashes, silence echoed the room as he continued. "But i think i know what i want just now".

He carressed my cheek with his fingers, the touch so tender but intoxicating. I needed his touch, his mouth on me again. I couldn't wait any longer.

"Vincent" His name coming out of my mouth as a pathetic moan as i begged to him. "Please, kiss me"

"How could i ever refuse?"

He then broke any remaining tension grabbing gently my cheeks and kissing me deeply. Slowly this time, as we had the night to ourselfs. He tasted like the sweet red wine we just drank and so was i. His perfume smelled, in fact, like a classic one. Wooden but not too harsh, just perfect on his skin My fingers ran into his silver hair as we kept deepening the kiss, both now lying down the sofa.His warm tongue intertwined with mine as his hands ran through my waist and i could feel the heat coming down my body.

He broke the kiss, heavy breathing as he whispered near my mouth.

"Are you okay with this?"

I nodded at him and attempted to kiss him again but he insisted:

"I don't want you to do anything you're not comfortable with, baby"

My entire body shivered just hearing the petname coming out of his mouth and his tenderness at each moment made me feel secure.

"I need you, Vincent. Please" My words coming out as weak whispers as my head buzzed, i needed his touch more than anything in that moment. His eyes getting darker as he was hearing me beg. He lifted me up softly in his arms and carried me into his bedroom.

The room was dark as only the weak, pale moonlight entered through a window besides de big kingsize bed. We were standing at the edge of the bed as i could feel my cheeks getting warmer and warmer under his touch. His hands slowly taking up my shirt as he stared with devotion at my body. His eyes wandered at each mole and each mark. Then he slowly kneeled in front of me, leaving a trail of gentle kisses down my stomach. He looked at me from below with greedy eyes.

"Can i?" He whispered to me, touching the button of my jeans. I nodded slowly as he began undoing them. My body now covered only by black lace underwear and bra.

"Mon Dieu" He whispered, still on his knees. "You're beautiful".

I carresed his chin with my hand as he stoop up slowly, without breaking eye contact.

"Now it's my turn" I said, as i took his sweater and the rest of his clothes off.

His skin soft and warm as we kept kissing deeply on his bed, the air so intoxicating as his touch. Wet kisses on my neck and collarbones. His hand slowly playing with the hem of my panties as i cursed under my breath.

"What's the problem, dear?" He whispered in my ear with a cheeky tone.

"Vincent, please"

"Give me words and i'll give you what you want" His fingers almost touching my aching flesh.

"Touch me, please" My words almost tripping.

He smiled and ran his fingers into me, playing with my clit as i left out a pathetic whimper.

"Merde, you're so fucking wet" He whispered to my ear as he kept touching every fold. He then slid two fingers into me, almost making me lose all reason.

"Oh, Vincent" I kept moaning his name, my core aching under his touch as i could feel his bulge growing against my leg.

"Yes, chérie?

"Please, fuck me." I begged to him, leaving all sense of shame behind. I needed him so badly, like i never needed anybody.

"I love it when you say my name like that" He said as he slid my panties down my legs and freed himself from his own underwear, his big length against my stomach as he pumped himself a few times.

He then stretched out an arm to reach the drawer of the nightstand from where he picked a condom. His firm body glistening as he put it on and then positioned himself between my legs, grabbing them firmly.

He sank into me slowly and i could feel every inch inside me, his head resting on the crook of my neck. He stayed still for a moment, feeling me warm against him.

" Putain. You feel so fucking good" He said as he began thrusting me, slowly picking up a pace.

My nails against his back as i could feel him so big inside me, my head buzzing as i heard the sinful sounds of his thrusts getting more wet and more sloppy.

"Fuck, Vincent" my moans getting more and more out of control. "Keep going, please".

He smiled and then bit my lower lip. "You're taking me so fucking well, baby"

Then he rolled me over the bed. My face now against the pillow as he began thrusting me from behind, hands grabbing my waist as he fucked me deeper and faster.

"You're being such a good girl. Just look at you"

I turned my face so i could see him while he kept fucking me, his silver strands of hair falling into his glistening forehead and his eyes dark and seductive. I started feeling pleasure waves getting bigger and bigger, my core aching for a release.

"Fuck, i really want to ride you" I whispered to him as i could, with half my face still resting on the pillow.

He smiled at me and slid himself out. I whimpered instinctively at sudden lack of contact.

"Go on, then. Show me how good you can fuck me" He said as he lied on the bed.

I climbed on top and sank into his length slowly, almost painfully slowly. My eyes pierced at his as i did it.

"Putain, tu vas me faire jouir" He moaned, almost cursing, under his breath.

My movements took a faster and faster pace as i felt closer to my orgasm. He grabbed firmly my breasts as i went up and down, playing with my sensitive nipples.

"Oh, God. Vincent, i'm gonna cum"

"Go on, chérie. Go on and cum all over me".

My body trembled as i felt closer and closer, i tried to close my eyes but he stopped me.

"No, no. Don't do that. Look at me, i want to see your pretty eyes"

Those words sending me even closer as i felt my orgasm reaching every part of my body, trying to keep my eyes opened. His eyes filled with magnetic lust.

"Fuck, Vincent" I moaned with the little energy i had left as he pushed himself one last time, cumming inside me.

"C'était tellement bon, chérie" He whispered into my ear as i lied on the bed besides him, totally surrendered by his words. I loved it when he'd speak to me in french.

He gently kissed me on the forehead as he put his arms around me. My head resting on his chest as we instantly fell asleep in the still warm bed.

next chapter soon

[circeius-invidioso]

👏🏻 Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay.👏🏻

Those 4 Liber books. Which ones you may ask.

These ones.

Now that we are all in the same page.

✨️Let's talk about them.✨️

Not good enough to be collected.

Not bad enough to be forgotten.

And not forget them we shall.

The tall and short of the story:

They are expansion packs to the main tabletop rpg game. And you guessed correctly it add daemons etc etc.

That etc etc is.

Liber Ecstatica : Slaanesh and horny on main cults.

Liber Infectus : Nurgle and dirty plagues.

Liber Mutatis : Tzeentch and birdy mutations.

Liber Carnagia : Khorne and angy serial killers. (No the spelling error was on purpose. Cause our boy real angy)

+ an adventure on theme with the above.

A solid 3/ 10.

Unless you are a writer and need basic descriptions of daemons and fluff then its a decent 3.5/ 10.

Now.

Now that we dealt with that.

Its time.

For the tall and longer.

And in depth analysis and my personal ice cold takes and my thesis of - this would have been lit if we played the villains pov.

I could be talking about the latest books, hell I could be talking about dnd. But no me and you we are here and we are stuck and for the next 5 minutes I am the captain and I will take you on an adventure.

🐙Liber Mutatis - feat Dj BoBo and the Mutants are Alive🐙

Nothing gets me more going than referances that weren't funny even in 2007.

What the book adds to gameplay?

Mutations. From bird beaks to tentacle limbs in case you decide to multipraise Slaanesh on the side.

Because you aren't just a chicken worshipper, you are a wizard and what best way to show it that gaining an additional 30 eyeballs for all those books you want to read.

This book is your one stop to fond some very basic mutations to add to a game.

And when I say basic. I mean basic, don't expect great stuff. But I guess this might have been part of the plan...

What's the included adventure like?

You team goes in a town to find why all those apprentices have been taking such a long unauthorized day off.

Well they were kidnapped by a cult with a ringleader being a shop keeper with a Lord of Change tranformed as a parrot named Bobo that births pink eggs.

Then they feed those pink eggs to create mutant bird people.

Your job is to stop it. Not the most original ideal... but what would it be if you played the adventure from the cultists pov?

Dj Bobo and his gang of squidmen

You heard the adventure of the heroes. But how would it be if you were the bad guy?

🐙 One player would pretend to be the shopkeeper with his pet parrot that births oversized pink eggs and you have to smuggle them and hide the fact from the people who came to stop you in the city.

🐙 The second will be the immortal nun with only her face intact in the soup house cooking for the poor and using the eggs to create mutant by trying to convince the people that those pink eggs are totally edible what do you mean eggs are not pink. Maybe you are seeing things...

🐙 The third one is squidward at the gates. Basically a war veteran that lost his legs. But jokes on them. The big bird man gave you tentacles and you will be wizzing throught the sewers like a getski.

🐙 The fourth will be the person kidnapping those student wizard kids, bagging them up and send them to the ritual site alongside your grizzled unshaven gang of pain assistants.

🐙 Finally someone can even take the role of the bird. Blasting eggs before the time of the summoning happens when they will be blasting magic and turning the whole city into a lethal rave.

🪲Liber Infectus- Grandaddy Nurgle's Black Death Clown Parade🪲

If only I was joking... stick around and find out more...

What the book adds to gameplay?

A wide selection of how you and your players can seriously get down with the sickness.

Besides that all the basic nasty descriptions about the warps most unwashed denizens. Basic. But we all start from somewhere, like how a rash develops into a mouth and eats the person living next door.

What's the included adventure like?

Evil doctor spreads a plague you are there to stop it etc etc. You can see where this goes from the words "initial symptom development".

Those sick clowns I mentioned

On the final part of the adventure a clown parade, with music and performers and everything. Pops in town and is ready to kick pc ass.

And the only thing I got to say is.

Why can't I play their pov.

The idea of five sick honk honk clowns in a cart playing music and spreading the literal word on nurgle with a mutant strapped on the back. Sounds like a wild adventure.

It sounds a lot more enjoyable than sitting around asking people "so when did the first symptom begin and how are you feeling?"

Give me the clowns. With their dancing plague and their bouncing nurglings on a wacky adventure to evade the law.

Fast and furiously popping knees and bursting shins.

⚘️Liber Carnagia- Renaming Khorne into Gandhi ⚘️

Again. Wait and I will explain this as well.

What the book adds to gameplay?

Nothing. Of value. Is it obvious that this one was my least favorite?

Whats the included adventure like?

Theres a magical angy spear and your job is to be beaten down and not kill anyone. Just sit with your thumb-tacks up your ass and do nothing.

That's what the adventure is.

In the book of Khorne what you are asked to do is not fight anyone.

The irony is so deep, I screamed that's deep bro and a lovecraftian horror responded from the chasm "I know".

Putting the K of Killer back into Khorne

A murder hobo adventure. That's it. It's a lot better than going to a besieged nun house and sitting on the grass asking those raiders to pretty please let go of the hostages.

Chaos, mayhem. If I was the dm I'd put everyone in a nonr stop 4 hour rollercoaster of blood, guts, bullets and norwegian death metal music playing in the background before they all die gloriously into a massive raid burning imperial churches.

Then go to hell, become daemons and be yeeted back into the mortal world to kick even more ass.

🪷Liber Ecstatica- And the Dick Measuring Olympics 🪷

The title will again make sense soon I swear.

What the book adds to gameplay?

Cults, anything you need to know about a basic degenerate cult. From poison chuggers to vape huffers and even vegetable shovers.

This is your one stop to make a bare bones cult for your games.

What's the included adventure like?

A girl is being chased after many eligible bachelors of the city.

And your job is to stop them from doing so.

How did this adventure start?

A rich old dude didn't like that an "average" in his eyes poor, low noble had admirers. So obviously its witchcraft.

The reason is as sound as an airplane made of shredded cheese. And the book is weidly mean about it.

Like the girl is fine. But everyone is like "she is not a busty noble that cries gold so obviously theres foul play, also have I told you that she is average".

Oh the crimes against humanity. If the adventure began and the noble was like "yeah my son flayed himself while screaming her name" then sure. I'd be calling foul play.

Busting a Nut not Busting a Move

The same but instead of having 10 men fighting over a decent, everyday girl its Danny Devito art critic and the whole team tries to complete the ritual and avoiding the witch hunters from burning their "beauty".

We are already dealing with a daemon that has magically roofied the local men in order to be freed from a magical mirror. We might as well make it into a comedy skit.

This is a game about the ultimate degenerates, extreme is the only word we must know. And you know what would be even better.

All of the players are grade A spandex bdsm supermodels and have to promote gollum as a drop dead nuke level bombshell.

[thirdnap]

Hello,

Here is the life update of my past 4 years.

I began this blog many years ago in 2012 when I was only 14 years old, and I then slowly gained the courage to start posting art at 17 when I joined the K fandom. It's wild to think that I am now 25!

I was never quite consistent in posting since I only shared my art here whenever I felt like it, but it slowed down ever so gradually to basically 1 post a year for Yata’s birthday. This blog helped me with my fear of showing my art to others as I was incredibly embarrassed of my work for a really long time.

I soon moved to the USA from my homeland and attended animation school for 1 year, and then studied illustration and visual development for 4 years and I managed to accomplish many things I never could have imagined. I graduated with honors this past May, was selected by the faculty and head of department as my major’s trustee scholar, completed my 84-page art book thesis, got a few pieces into the Society of Illustrators, and my school even shot a mini docu-film about me, my art and my life where I got to share my upbringing. Art school was very demanding and at times tough but I managed to get a lot out of it :)

In July of this year, I moved to California from Florida and I’m much happier than I’ve ever been. I come from a very small country so I never expected to get this far in the art world. I drew Yata for fun in my bedroom whenever I wanted to and now I’m in LA breaking into the animation industry (receiving my first credit too!)

the drawings I share here are a very very small part of the illustrations I make weekly. I wish I could share them with everyone as I’m very proud of them but I enjoy separating my fandom life from my real life a little too much! Surprisingly I am working as a background artist at the moment despite never drawing backgrounds in this blog lol. I think many of you would be surprised at how different my work is from irl!!

It hasn’t always been great, so I don't want to make it seem like it's been all perfect. I’ve had many hard times too and at the moment I am extremely homesick since I haven't returned home in a long time but I think these are needed sacrifices.

However, I'm excited for 2024. I'm looking forward to growing as an artist and my goal is to continue to have fun with art as much as I have right now. I think I’m lucky to have a great support system including my best friend @fuurais who has been by my side for 10+ years and I managed to convert into a K artist too <3

Thank you for the support, for the kind messages, and for the excitement every time I post. I am always happy when I think of this blog and the friends I made. I unironically think about Yata every day as he is past being my comfort character tbh. I am currently writing this with full-on orange hair that I've had for a few years now lol.

I don’t think I’ll be as active as I was at 17 but I will try to not ghost this blog completely. There are a lot of things I haven’t drawn yet that I really want to do and I'd love to share those drawings with everyone.

Lots of love -

Tael <3

[fancyfade]

Damian's intro in Batman and Son analysis

Okay so. This will be shorter than my Lonely Place of Dying meta (link) because rather than focusing on multiple story elements, I want to just focus on how Morrison presents Damian to the audience.

Again - this is not me saying this comic is bad (I mean. The treatment of talia definitely is bad but this post is about how Damian is presented) or 'you can't like this comic'. Just an analysis of what the audience sees.

General thesis: Morrison doesn't try to make Damian likeable, and does what they can to make him unlikable, but he is not presented as a villain, even though he does villainous things. He's presented more of an obstacle, a spoiled kid who happens to have assassin training.

Okay so let's start with his very first appearance.

Damian is obscured in shadow, or only a small portion of his face is visible, for the first two issues he appears in (until the very last page of the second issue) to keep a mystery on who he is. This is a pretty common technique for hiding character's identities in comics. It's also what the artist does for Talia, though we see her face a little earlier than Damian's.

We don't see Talia's face until Batman recognizes who is behind it, and even after that Damian is in shadow (clearly visible to Batman, but Batman doesn't comment on him) until Talia introduces him.

This is the first time we see him fully on panel.

Okay, so we've covered how Damian is presented on panel before we know who he is. Now lets get to what information is presented about Damian?

From the first thing Talia says about Damian to Batman, Damian is portrayed as out of control, something that continues into the next comics.

When Damian gets to be Batcave he:

Is generally unimpressed with the Batcave

scoffs at the idea of fighting crime

starts touching Bruce's unfinished projects

Clarifies his mom was not present in his childhood and let him do whatever he wanted

Tries to fight Bruce

Dismisses Tim

Cusses out Alfred

Then in Wayne Manor

Demands a laptop

Implied to have been insulting Alfred this whole time ("My patience for colorful insults is wearing thing")

Throws food at the wall

I think any one of these things might make the presumed comic reader slightly predisposed to disliking him. All of them at once is like. "He doesn't have the morals that the rest of the cast does (they want to fight crime, he doesn't). He wants Bruce's approval but does not verbally respect him. He has no regard for fan-favorite characters like Alfred or Tim". Pretty much trying to make him unlikeable for many readers.

It's also notable that even though Damian is a jerk to Tim and Alfred, the author never presents it as being justified. It's not like "this new character is a jerk to fan-favorties because I don't like them and want to put them down".

one complaint I often see is "Morrison doesn't like Tim", but I think it's notable that Tim is portrayed as someone who's supposed to be reasonable here. He tries to be friendly to Damian when Bruce introduces them, he offers to spar with Damian and "go easy on him", even if behind the scenes he does express frustration to Bruce.

Damian also isn't really portrayed as utterly trouncing Tim. Their actual fight scene:

Only lasts three pages, and for most of it Tim is not actually trying to fight back.

For a "Character is beat up by a 10 year old" that's a pretty gentle scene, in terms of competence of the character. He's trying to help. He's not fighting back seriously because he views Damian more as a kid than a threat. He's concerned about Alfred. I'm like jeez I wish the writers who hated Damian would be that gentle with not disparaging competence, putting in extenuating circumstances and him being genuinely concerned for people when something that wouldn't normally happen has to happen to further the plot.

Anyway - then when we do see injured Tim, the focus seems to be on the severity of the act. There's no downplaying it.

When Bruce finds Tim, he's horrified and angry at Damian ("You did this"), he keeps Damian with him because he's too dangerous to be left alone.

So it's pretty clear that Damian beating up Tim and intending to replace him is something intended to make him more unlikeable, not something to besmirch Tim.

Okay, so why is Damian an inconvenience rather than a villain?

Damian in general lacks the motive to be a villain here. He's not framed as someone who has a big master plan - that's Talia (framed badly by Morrison who retconned a lot of her character - but that's another post).

Meanwhile, this is what Bruce says about Damian

And when Damian is yelling about wanting stuff:

Even when Damian does attack and assault Tim, it's clearly not due to some larger plot, or even that he genuinely hates Tim and wants him dead, but the fact that in the place he was raised, that's what you did

And Damian is instantly ready to be on Bruce's side after his attempt to replace Tim fails:

Yeah you're not seeing a supervillain begging to be useful to Batman. It is pretty clear he's supposed to be read a disruptive, amoral kid.

Anyway, so comparison to Lonely Place of Dying:

Both comics start with the premise that the reader presumably likes the established characters. I already got into how much LOPD relies on the comic reader being a fan of Batman and Robin, but I think it's clear here that that's the case as well. Morrison does make plenty of references to the past (whether they understand them or not is a discussion for a different time) with Bruce's previous LIs, mischaracterizing Talia and Bruce's earlier relationship, the man-bat characters, what Bruce has been up to in the one year since Infinite Crisis. They also portray Tim as someone who is generally trying to help and competent, with 1 or 2 bits of realistic pettiness or annoyance thrown in (like him saying (privately, to Bruce) that Damian should earn Bruce's love and respect like everyone else - interestingly enough, a premise Damian does not disagree with), just not the main character of the narrative. And if you include this to other things that Morrison wrote with Tim (like some of the Black Glove plots) its clear Morrison is not trying to 'depower' tim or anything.

So Damian beefing with Tim and assaulting him and Alfred is another thing that makes him read as less likeable to the audience, rather than something that puts Tim and Alfred down. This contrasts greatly to how much Tim respects and admires Dick in LOPD. In both cases, the established character (Tim for Damian, Dick for Tim) has other things going on that justify why a new character might show them up or be useful/a threat. (I got into my post in LOPD about how they were careful to not let Tim 'show up' existing characters).

[friend-of-wisdom]

100/100 days of productivity

Friday, September 27th 2024

WE DID IT!!!!! After almost two years, I got to the end of this challenge!!!! It really motivated me, to be real. Thinking about writing for myself as well as telling yall about my daily achievements motivated me to finish writing assignments, not giving up reading research papers, reading books... And now I also have a written online diary of all of those moments that I can be proud of! I can read them and feel motivated again, see how much progress I've made.

I do have more things to say at the end of the post, but let's take a moment to see what I've done today!

worked on burocracy

finally went to the medical lab to do another round of medical examinations

read 2 whole articles!!!! they're part of the articles I needed to read for my research. The first one was only 6 pages, but the second one was 21 pages and they both were REALLY helpful for my thesis. I made so many relevant annotations that I'll use!!

wrote a whole page of my thesis (now i have 10 pages in total!! which is so good!!)

studied japanese for around 30 minutes

I wanted to write more today but I was already so tired! So I rested by playing a bit of Papa's Freezeria, watching one episode of Grey's Anatomy and a few episodes of Winx. I also played with my cat and spent some time with my bf (i actually went to his house to read articles lol but we had lunch together as well).

I want to thank you all that have been following my journey in this blog, that have liked and reblogged, or commented. It's really nice to have interactions with other studyblrs or just people that are interested in academics in general!

I have some plans with my friends for this weekend. Also going to take some time to dye my hair and cut my bf's hair. But the studying never stops! I'll come back with a new challenge, or a new type of posts that I have yet to decide. Anyways, I'm so glad I got here!!!

Remember, productivity can be tiring, and you all deserve rest and fun. Don't worry too much about being productive all the time - enjoy life. Doesn't matter if it takes 100 days, or 1 year, or 2, or 3 years to complete a challenge like this 100 days challenge. It's your pace and you should respect it!

xoxo, Liz 📚✨

[chaotic-history]

"While waiting [for Émilie], [Voltaire] seemed attached to several horses, for he had made the little 'abbé' Linant come to Rouen and even offered hospitality to another young man named Lefebvre, a budding poet aged 20 like the other, and like a certain Lamare, the third ephebos that he cosseted and who was also an abbot. The first had already made a trip to Paris to keep his acquaintance with [Lord Bolingbroke]. This boy seems to have had equivocal relations with Cideville, which makes this phrase from a letter from Voltaire from May 29 to this advisor, a letter prior to the return of the 'chubby abbot', amusing: 'When he wants to come back to Paris, I will rent him a hole near my house; he will furthermore be the master of dinner and supper every day in my retreat.' He practically offered him to share his bed. The presence of these two young men by him distinctly reminds one of the young 'writers' that the abbé Desfontaines, the famous pederast, had had near him for so long, and who served at once as mignons and secretaries. Even if he did not take up with them the liberties that he had formerly had with Thieriot in M. Alain's study, he still cherished this extreme familiarity with young people." - Voltaire et Frédéric II by Roger Peyrefitte.

FIRST off, why are we stating as fact that any "liberties" happened with Thieriot. There is zero proof. There is circumstantial evidence in that you could interpret V's letters to Thieriot as being kinda gay and then infer that "liberties" occurred, but even if we are interpreting the letters as gay, that's still a big jump to make from 'V felt more than just friendship for Thieriot' to 'they definitely slept together', which there's no real evidence for.

Second of all, there is no evidence of anything going on with Linant. Nancy Mitford suggested it as well, with the reasoning being that Linant was stupid and useless and why else would V keep him around, which is the same argument that's been used for V and Thieriot being gay. But a relationship between V and Linant being a possible explanation for something does not mean that that's evidence for a relationship, and Mitford doesn't cite anything V wrote as potential proof. And also like. The man resorted to full-on referring to his plays + la Henriade as his children to an extent and (unofficially) adopted Marie-Françoise and pretty much Reine Philiberte and Villette as well. And reading the letters about Linant from V to Cideville, and V talking about Linant's improvements in writing, it very much sounds like he's just proud of Linant and sees himself as a father figure. Again, also just a possibility, but it works equally well as an explanation and it fits into an already established pattern, plus it's based on what V actually wrote.

Thirdly, I would like to emphasise the "aged 20". "Aged 20" is not the same as what the "famous pederast" was doing.

Fourthly, saying that that quote about Linant coming back to Paris is "practically offering him to share his bed" is the single most batshit far-fetched gay interpretation I have ever seen in my life, and I was in the Hamilton fandom for three years. Genuinely how do you even get there. Bitch could've invited Linant to stay with him but he specifically said he'd rent him a different place. How does that equate to inviting him into his bed. This part alone is what's gonna convince me of Peyrefitte's bottom V thesis cause I can interpret two letters in that way and I can no longer be self-conscious about how I interpret literally anything, because it's still gonna be 10 miles more sane and evidenced than anything Peyrefitte's said.

@enlitment I apologise deeply for making you read this, but here's a taste of why the book sucks... Turns out I actually stopped reading on page 20 lol cause that's where my yelling at Peyrefitte in the margins stops.

[fluentmoviequoter]

hey I have another request since you asked to keep them coming. how about academic rivals with victor vale (lockland era) turned to allies (*cough* lovers) fighting against eli? it would be also awesome for reader to be an EO <33

I am so so so sorry about the long wait, but thank you for being patient! This request is amazing and I hope I did it justice; it's my first time writing rivals to lovers allies, so I hope it's okay! Please feel free to leave feedback and let me know what you think. Thanks again for the great requests!🤍

Warnings: angst, fluff, discussions of death and EOs, reader's ability is discussed (it's controlling vehicles), reader and Victor call each other stupid/just are generally mean to each other, spoilers for Vicious. I think that's all?

Word Count: ~4.6k words

A/N: We need more Victor Vale gifs.

10 Years Ago - Lockland

You’re sitting in the quiet library, tapping your pen against your lower lip as you look back and forth between the open textbook and your nearly full notebook. The Comprehensive Science Seminar is ending, and it’s time to declare a thesis. You’ve been fighting through this course and are struggling to find the perfect topic. An idea pops into your head, and you scribble it on the last page of your notebook. As you pull the pen away, someone drops a paper onto your book.

“Wow, 95. You must be so proud,” you say emotionlessly, pushing the paper across the table as the owner, Victor Vale, sits across from you.

“It’s alright. What’d you get?” Victor asks, and you swear you see the hint of a smile.

“I don’t know, I haven’t been in to see Professor Lyne yet. No doubt it’s a 96 or higher.” You send him a fake smile before looking back at your notes.

“Hmm. And your thesis?”

“Yours?”

Victor stares at you before shrugging. “Coming along nicely.”

“Mine too. Now if you don’t mind.”

“Right, right. I wouldn’t want to bother Lockland’s number 2 student. See you tomorrow.”

“Not if there’s any hope in the world.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose and groan quietly. I need a better thesis if I want to beat him, you think, and open a different textbook.

14 Years Ago - Lockland

“Mr. Vale, you will be paired with… your neighbor, nice planning,” the professor announces.

He continues down the list as you look over at Mr. Vale.

“I’ll handle it,” he mutters, reaching for the worksheet.

You slap a hand onto it, stopping him as you argue, “That’s not gonna work for me. I don’t really need the fate of my GPA in… those hands.”

The corner of his lip twitches up for just a moment. “Well these hands happen to have a better GPA than you. So, if it works for you, I’ll give yours a little boost. They love charity work here, it’s like an extracurricular.”

“Well, as much as I appreciate that,” you bite out, “I don’t trust you or your high GPA hands. So we do it together, or I take the A and tell everyone that you didn’t demonstrate the signature ‘Lockland Teamwork.’”

Victor cracks his neck before pushing the paper toward your side of the lab table. “Fine. But if we don’t do well on this I will make sure you never show your face at Lockland again.”

“Yeah, we’ll see how you feel after you lose your title of highest GPA, Vale.”

10 Years Ago - Lockland

“All right. It’s time to declare your thesis,” Professor Lyne announces.

You stare at the back of Victor’s head, two thesis options on a notecard on your desk. Are you waiting to see what he picks? Maybe. But you’re one or two higher grades away from taking Victor’s class ranking, and you will do it. If it’s the last thing you do.

Professor Lyne goes through his warnings about what makes a good thesis, and then you drown everything out. Bouncing your leg, you hope this goes well.

“And you, Mr. Vale?” Professor Lyne asks, pulling you from your thoughts.

You see Victor look at Eli, then he turns and glances at you. Your brows furrow as he answers, “Adrenal inducers.”

Professor Lyne begins to argue, and Victor adds, “Adrenaline and its physical and emotional inducers and consequences. Biochemical thresholds. Fight or flight, That kind of thing.”

Watching with bated breath, you’re surprised when Professor Lyne nods and says, “Don’t make me regret it.”

You can practically feel the victory radiating off Victor as Professor Lyne turns his attention to you, sitting between Eli and Victor, a row behind. You state your first thesis idea, and Professor Lyne tilts his head as he nods.

“Excellent choice,” he says. “Eli Cardale.”

You take a deep breath, a small smile on your face. This smile, however, falls as Eli answers.

“EOs,” Eli says calmly.

You don’t hear the rest of the conversation until the end when Professor Lyne concedes with a simple: “Fine.”

Fine? you think. He’s going to kill someone; he’s insane.

Victor follows Eli outside, and for a brief moment, you’re concerned, then you realize that his concern for his psycho friend may give you the advantage you need.

You can win even after sacrificing a pawn, after all.

With your entire focus on beating Victor, you hardly notice that you haven’t seen him around as much. At least until you learn he tried to kill himself. After an internal war, wondering if you should visit him, you get in your car and drive to the hospital where he is.

When you find his room, you knock on the door. “Hey.”

“What are you doing here?” he asks.

“Wow. Great to see you too, oh, it was no problem to come down and see you,” you respond.

Victor shakes his head. “Thanks, I guess. Why are you here?”

You shrug. “I figured I could apologize, since my amazing thesis drove you to such lengths.”

Victor barks out a harsh laugh. “You wish this was about you.”

“Then what’s it about?”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Right, because I’m just a stupid girl whose GPA isn’t as high as yours and my mommy and daddy don’t write self-help books that end up with cryptic, messed-up messages.”

“See? Don’t understand.”

“Well, then, in that case, I’ll get going. I’ve got an ‘excellent’ thesis to work on. See ya, Vale, unless they finally see that it’s not just smart up there.”

You walk out, fuming. Victor is a lot of things, and infuriating is at the top of the list. He thinks you’re too stupid to understand? You’d bet money you know what happened.

In your car, you look down at your phone and find Eli’s number, prepared to check your hypothesis that he was involved. It rings as you drive, and you hear Eli answer just before you see a truck swerve into your lane.

10 Years Ago - Lockland Medical Center

You gasp for air when you wake up. Doctors and nurses are surrounding you; one pulls an adrenaline shot away as the others keep you still to tend to your wounds. Losing control is something you don’t usually feel, and you don’t like it. Their voices fade as your blinks grow slower, control slipping from your grasp.

The light in the hospital room is not helpful in your battle to open your eyes. When your surroundings become clear, you see the date on the wall. Your thesis is due tomorrow.

“Um, excuse me?” you ask a passing nurse. “I really need to get going, I have a thesis due.”

“Someone is on their way to talk with you,” she says kindly before hurrying out.

Professor Lyne’s assistant knocks on the door a few minutes later, sorrow and hurt in his eyes. “I was sorry to hear about your accident, but I’m glad you’re doing better. Modern medicine is something to behold.”

“Right,” you mumble. “And my thesis?”

“You’ll receive full credit for the course and have an indefinite extension. Professor Lyne…” His voice catches, and he clears his throat before continuing, “Professor Lyne had an accident at the school. He passed away yesterday.”

“He’s gone?”

“Yes, I’m sorry. I reviewed your thesis draft with him the previous day and he was very impressed, so when you are able to submit it, I have no doubt you will receive praise.”

A tear rolls down his cheek, and he hastily excuses himself. Professor Lyne was impressed; you wonder if he reviewed Victor’s work. Or if Victor even did any work after his “accident.”

“Hello?” you ask, answering your phone.

“Hey, it’s Eli. Victor tried to kill me,” Eli says quickly.

“Eli?” you ask after a moment. “How did you get my number?”

“Focus! Vic. Tried. To. Kill. Me,” he repeats slowly.

You probably deserved it, you think. Instead of saying that, you ask, “But you’re okay?”

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Victor is messed up though.”

“Eli, why are you telling me this?”

“Think about it. He tolerates me, but he hates you. Just be careful.”

Eli ends the call, and you decide he’s crazier than you thought. You glance around the hospital room, stopping to look out the window and feel a strange buzzing sensation as a truck passes outside. It swerves onto the curb, then the buzzing fades, and the driver corrects his mistake and keeps driving. Weird.

“Ma’am, I have the paperwork here if you’re ready to leave,” a nurse informs you.

“Oh, I am,” you answer, reaching for the pen.

9 Years Ago - Lockland

You walk the stage and accept your degree. The small class in your Comprehensive Science Seminar receives a special ceremony. Except for the two who didn’t submit their theses: Victor Vale and Eli Cardale. You thought that if either of them went to jail, it would be Eli. After hearing what Victor did to Angie Knight, you realize that maybe your academic hatred for him stemmed from a deeper understanding of his character.

It happens again when you leave the ceremony to enter the next part of your life and start a new job with your new degree. You look at a truck and feel a buzzing before it swerves. You step back, and it doesn’t stop; at the last second before impact, you flip your hand to the side, and the truck rolls over, stopping in the middle of the road.

You look between your hand and the truck, and worry fills your mind as you realize Eli was right.

Two Weeks Ago - Wrighton Penitentiary 

“Who’re you here to see?”

“Victor Vale,” you answer.

The disinterested guard taps a few keys on a computer. “He was in solitary for a long time. Folks like that don’t usually get visitors.”

You nod. “It’s been a long time. He’s not in solitary anymore, so I can see him, right?”

The guard huffs before pushing a clipboard through the small opening in the bulletproof glass. “Sign these, then go through the metal detectors. They’ll show you where to go.”

“Thank you.”

You rush through the paperwork and then through the security checkpoint. Sitting in front of the bulletproof divider, you tap your fingers on the metal table, glancing between the phone and the door. When Victor enters, his eyes land on you, as cold and hateful as ever.

“Hey,” you say into the phone after he picks the other side up.

“What do you want?”

“That’s your go-to line, isn’t it?”

“It’s been years,” Victor spits out your last name, “why now?”

You look around before lowering your voice to say, “He was right and you know something.”

“Who?”

“Eli. Who else, Victor? The guy you… injured.”

“What exactly do you want from me?”

“Answers! And don’t tell me that I won’t understand, I’m the one with a college degree and you’re in a jail cell,” you snap.

“Top of the class?” You nod, and Victor mumbles, “Just because I dropped out.”

“I would’ve beat your little ‘flight or fight’ thesis and you know it. Now tell me what happened.”

“Nothing happened and nothing is going to happen. My time’s up. Bye.”

He slams the phone and storms out, not sparing a glance over his shoulder. The ache you refused to acknowledge disappears as he does. That’s what I thought, you think.

You spend the next few days trying to figure out what power Eli has. If Victor attempted to kill him and failed, then Eli must be invincible. There’s a way around that; there has to be. Staying near the prison wasn’t a conscious choice, but you’re less than a mile away, just in case.

One Week Ago - Wrighton Penitentiary 

Reading on your porch, you don’t expect to witness someone trying to steal your car. Focusing, you rev the engine and flash the headlights as you walk toward them.

“I knew I was smarter than you, but I didn’t think you were this much of an idiot,” you tell Victor.

“How did you do that?” he asks.

“I already told you, I know more than you think.”

“We need your car,” Victor says.

“Not without me. You can take it, on the condition I go with it.”

“Absolutely not. Give me the keys or we’ll take it another way,” Victor threatens.

You square your shoulders and look into his eyes with the same tenacity and stubbornness he hated in college.

“How? Gonna hurt me again; use the pain to distract me? Is that your thing?”

The man with him looks back and forth between you.

“You don’t know half as much as you think you do.”

You rev the engine and watch Victor’s eyes move to the car. “I know that you and Eli are EOs. And I know that you’re both crazy, but you’re not quite as crazy. Now, do you want to stand here until you get caught or take me up on the offer and get out of here?”

“I don’t want you coming with us,” he snaps.

You see a police car approaching and direct it into a U-turn to send it in the other direction.

“You’re-”

“An EO? Thought you were smart enough to notice, Vale. Last chance: car or no car?”

“Fine,” he concedes as sirens grow louder. “But I’m driving.”

“Not a chance. Besides, I can control it from the passenger seat, idiot.”

Victor rolls his eyes as he rushes to the passenger side, sitting low in the seat as his (friend? acquaintance?) lays down in the backseat. You introduce yourself quickly.

“Mitch,” he answers. “Thanks for covering for us.”

“Mostly you, Mitch.”

“So I’ve heard,” he mumbles.

“Where are we going?” you ask.

“We can go to my parents’ house. They’re on a book tour,” Victor answers.

“Of course they are. Then what?”

“We find him.”

You nod, directing police cars past you as you turn off of the main road.

“And kill him, I presume? Since you failed last time,” you add.

“How do you know about that?”

“He called me. Warned me that since you hated me more than him, I was probably next.”

“And you didn’t care?”

“I was in the hospital, so yeah, it wasn’t really a top priority.”

“How’d you die?” Mitch asks. “Sorry, is that insensitive? I’m new to the Extra-Ordinary thing.”

“It should be insensitive, but it’s fine,” you answer gently. Softer than you’ve ever talked to Victor. “I was in a car accident after I visited Prince Vale over here after his overdose. A failed attempt at getting superpowers, I realize now.”

“You were in a wreck? I didn’t know,” Victor says, pulling himself up into the seat.

“I’m shocked,” you answer sarcastically, “because you always cared so much about me. We hate each other, Victor, I didn’t expect flowers.”

Victor nods and tells you how to get to his parents’ house. Mitch sighs after each of his hurtful comments, but you’re immune to them.

10 Days Ago - On the Road

“They’re back,” Mitch says, looking at the armored truck out the back window.

“I can get them off our trail, for good, but it will put a target on our back,” you offer.

“Not alone, you can’t,” Victor argues.

You nod. “Then what do we do?”

“Stop the car.”

You do as he says, telling Mitch to get down as you and Victor get out of the car.

“I am smart enough to do this by myself,” you whisper.

“Sure you are,” Victor replies. “Flip it and I’ll finish them off.”

“Okay,” you breathe out before focusing on flipping the vehicle end over end into a roadside ditch.

You watch as Victor approaches the cracked windshield. Closing your eyes as if it will protect you against the pained screams, you hear the last officer take his final breath before Victor returns to the car.

“Let’s go,” he hurries you. “If it helps your conscience, you didn’t kill any of them, just hurt them.”

If only you could believe that.

One Week Ago - Vale House

“Is that who I think it is?” you ask, looking over Mitch’s shoulder.

“I don’t know, I haven’t seen him,” Mitch answers. “Is it? This just says ‘Civilian Hero Saves Bank.’”

“Yeah, that’s Eli Cardale. He hasn’t aged a day, though.”

You’re leaning over onto the table, reading the article when Victor enters.

“What’s so interesting?” Victor asks.

“Mitch found Eli,” you answer.

“Where?”

He joins you, his arm brushing against yours, and for once, you don’t immediately pull away.

“Merit,” Mitch says. “He’s some kind of vigilante.”

You and Victor make the same sound: muted amusement covered by exasperation. Mitch looks at you, then back to the screen.

“The article doesn’t say his name? I thought he’d want the fame,” you add.

“He doesn’t. He thinks God sent him back to take care of EOs.”

“Eli Cardale thinks he’s God? That makes sense.”

“Ever. He changed his name to Eli Ever.”

“Someone was jealous of someone else’s alliteration, Peter Parker,” you point out, smiling as Victor sighs.

The night before you leave for Merit, you ask Mitch to find Victor’s records, reading the reports of both deaths - his overdose and the one he caused. After his overdose, no one told you he died, and you had no idea about what happened with Angie.

“What are you doing?” Victor asks, suddenly behind you.

“Getting answers,” you reply, turning the computer off and walking away.

Victor follows you through the large glass doors onto the deck.

“So it’s okay for you to go digging around in my past when you won’t answer a single question about yours?” Victor snaps.

“What do you want to know? That I got hit by a truck and brought back to life two times? That I put everything I had left into that thesis? That the first time I realized I had a power was because of you?”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone? You knew Eli and I were looking into EOs.”

“This isn’t my fault, Victor!”

“You were being reckless! Still are!”

“And you’re still stupid! Who in their right mind kills themselves, not once, but twice, just to get superpowers?” you yell, stepping closer to Victor.

“You have powers too! And we both know I’m not the stupid one here.”

“Are we seriously arguing over who’s smarter? We just killed several people, Victor!”

“We? There was no we when we had that group project and you deleted my work to replace it with your own.”

“You were wrong and you know it,” you reply, rolling your eyes and crossing your arms.

“My GPA begs to differ.”

“You didn’t even graduate and you’re still infuriating.”

“And you’re smarter than you think, just won’t apply yourself like I do!”

“Shut up, Victor.”

“Make me.”

You grab his coat and pull him in, crashing your lips against his. His hands meet your waist, and he slows the kiss, moving his lips against yours. When you realize what you’re doing, you pull back.

“We- uh- we can’t stay here forever, your parents have to come back eventually,” you say quietly, Victor’s coat still in your hands.

“I know, but I don’t think we can do this alone. I can turn myself in and get another guy. Someone who can kill the unkillable.”

“That’s an incredibly stupid idea, Victor.”

“Do you have a better one?” Victor asks sharply.

“A few, actually. And they don’t require you to go back to prison and leave me here.”

“I’m not pulling you into this, too. If Eli kills me....”

“That’s not your decision, Vic.”

He takes a few deep breaths before nodding. “Okay,” he whispers.

Six Days Ago - Merit

You and Victor walk out of a store with several supplies, including Mitch’s chocolate milk and a first aid kit for Sydney’s gunshot wound. She’s only been with you for a few hours since you drove into Merit, but you feel attached to her already. Suddenly, you drop the bags as an intense pain overwhelms your senses.

“Vic?” you ask, looking up at him.

You watch, helpless, as he calls the police with an anonymous tip that escaped convict Victor Vale was seen in Merit.

“You lied to me!” you accuse through your tears. “Don’t do this!”

He kneels before you, brushing his finger over your cheekbone and kissing your forehead. “I’ll find you when I get out.”

“I’ll find you if you don’t. Please don’t be stupid about this,” you beg.

“See you around. Maybe study biology to pass the time and we can have a rematch test,” Victor says before standing and approaching the curb.

He raises his hands and falls to his knees as the police descend upon him and handcuff him. Even though you could stop it all with the wave of a hand, you watch, vowing to keep your promise or die trying. And you would have done better in that biology class if your teacher had been a fair grader.

You return to the room at the Esquire, tears still running down your face.

“What happened?” Sydney asks, rushing to your side when you enter.

“That idiot got himself arrested just to break out again with more help,” you answer, no emotion in your voice. “So we have to do something.”

“Okay, this is when Victor would tell you not to be stupid,” Mitch interjects.

“Well, Victor thinks I’m stupid all the time. Let’s prove him right,” you reply, shrugging.

“How?” Mitch asks.

“Sydney Vale here is going to visit her big brother, I’m going to crash a truck into a wall and we’re going to make sure Eli is ready for the taking as soon as Victor is out. Maybe not in that order.”

“Meaning?” Mitch asks carefully.

“No time for questions. You stay here and send me layouts of the jail and Sydney and I will bring Victor back soon.”

Sydney wordlessly follows you, more than happy to help you get Victor back. 

Five Days Ago - Merit Police Department

The time and place have been set: Midnight at Falcon Price. Now, to get the last member of your team back.

You and Sydney sit across from Victor, pretending to be checking on him until you create an excuse to leave.

“Is she okay?” Victor asks.

“Cover your head,” Sydney whispers.

Victor’s eyes widen when he hears brakes squeal and horns blowing, but he covers his head like Sydney asks. When the front end of a semi breaks through the wall before reversing out, Victor turns up the pain around him to distract everyone as he gets Sydney over the bulletproof divider and outside.

You rev the engine of the car you’re in and smile as Victor and Sydney climb in.

“I told you to wait,” Victor admonishes.

“We found him and we have a meeting. Four days, so find a new partner.”

“We need to figure out how Eli is finding them,” Victor mumbles.

“Mitch is working on it,” you reply.

“You know that was stupid, right?” Victor asks, changing the subject.

“Isn’t everything I do?”

“Maybe not everything,” Victor answers slowly, thinking about what happened at his parents’ house.

“Maybe not,” you agree, smiling.

10 Hours to Midnight - Merit

“You’re not going,” Victor repeats.

“Yes, I am. You need backup and I’m not just going to sit here,” you argue. You lower your voice to add, “Sydney may buy your promise that you’re coming back, but I’m not stupid enough to trust you again. At least not yet. So I go, or no one goes.”

“This is prison break day all over again,” Victor mumbles, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Is that a yes?”

“It’s a hesitant yes.”

“Perfect. Then let’s finish this, Victor.”

“And then what?”

“Biology test then a shot at freedom,” you answer. “In that order.”

Midnight - Falcon Price

You promised you wouldn’t interfere until you had to, but you can’t watch Eli touch Victor again. The building isn’t solid, yet you stand as you hear a large truck nearby. Directing it toward the building, you hope it doesn’t hurt Victor any more than he already is. Angling it so it affects the side where Eli is pacing more than where Victor is kneeling, bloody and bruised, you increase the speed and run it straight into the south corner of the Falcon Price project.

The building tilts and drops several feet as the load shifts onto the truck wedge in the load-bearing beams. Eli stumbles backward as you rush toward Victor.

“I should have known,” Eli says with a dark chuckle. “Although I wish I’d thought to recruit you before you two realized the line between hate and tolerance is so thin.”

“You would know,” you snap, wrapping an arm around Victor.

“But you see,” Eli continues, moving to the edge and looking over. “A truck isn’t enough to stop me. I’m invincible because God isn’t finished with me.”

“And when He is?” you ask.

“He’ll find a way.”

“How do you think you get to heaven, Cardale?” you ask, stalling.

The light of a plane catches your attention.

“It’s Ever,” he nearly growls.

“I’ve always wondered if it’s a plane that takes you to heaven,” you continue, willing yourself to control more than just trucks.

“You are as stupid as Victor said,” Eli mutters before raising his voice to ask, “What’s with the heaven questions? Didn't get an answer when you died at Lockand?”

“Yes or no on the plane, Eli?” you yell over the growing noise of the plane engine. “Because I think it’s time to board!”

You toss yourself over Victor as the plane crashes into the edge of the building, pulling Eli out of sight. Holding onto the chair bolted to the ground, you keep Victor from sliding over the edge as he tries to remain conscious.

“Was that a plane? I thought it was just trucks,” he mumbles as he pulls himself up.

“Apparently not. Now we need to get out of here before all those cops get here.”

“Didn’t think of that when I killed Serena.”

“Don’t think about that, Vic. Let’s focus on getting back to Sydney and Mitch; you have a promise to keep.”

After Midnight - Vale House

“Hey,” you call as you walk onto the deck and close the door behind you. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Eli survived, but Snell took him in for murder. Serena was really powerful," he answers, turning to face you.

“You did it.”

“You did most of it. Without the truck and plane, he would have killed me.”

“Maybe. What now?”

“I don’t think this will ever be over,” he says, sighing. “But for now…”

He leans in, and you lay your hands on his chest as you ask, “Biology test?”

“Depends. What does the winner get?”

“Hmm. Two days without the loser calling them stupid,” you suggest.

“That’s it? A make or break biology test and that’s the prize?”

“The title, bragging rights, what more do you need, Vale?”

He gets closer before answering, “I think you know.”

“Ah, you want to read my thesis. Well, I’m sure we can work something out.”

Victor presses his forehead against yours. “I’m going to win, so how about I pick the prize?”

“At the rate you’re going, softie, it’ll probably be a prize for me too. If you win.”

“We’ll see.”

Victor steps back, and you take his hand to lead him inside. He watches you and mumbles, “I’m not sure there is a punishment with you, stupid.”

“Heard that!”

[khywren]

7, 8, 10, 13, 17, 27, 39, 63 & 64 pls!（￣ε￣ʃƪ）

(questions are from this post.) 7: how do you choose which POV to write from?

in general, i like writing from multiple POVs at once, sort of like an omniscient narrator. trying to stick to just one POV is difficult for me. but if i'm writing a scene that's integral to one specific character i always try to stick to just their POV to make it more impactful, i guess you could say.

8: do you prefer the beginning, middle, or end of a story?

when reading: no preference. when writing: definitely the middle. starting a piece is tricky, since you wanna make it interesting enough to hook someone in. i am notoriously awful at endings and never really know how/where to do them, which explains why a lot of my stuff probably feels like it ends very abruptly lmao. when you're in the middle of the story there's definitely far less pressure.

10: cltr+f "blinks" on your WIP & copy paste the first sentence/paragraph that comes up

TIL i basically never use the word "blink." i had to DIG for this one.

13: what’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

in my senior thesis class we had to turn in something my professor called the "zero draft." the idea was to write something, anything; even if it's bad, just getting some ideas out and written down is better than nothing. you gotta start somewhere - for me, it's often just a random like that pops into my head that could be literally anywhere in a fic, and i might not end up keeping it but it helps to have something, anything to go off of during the drafting stage. so a ton of my WIPs will literally say something like, "talk about x here" until i figure out exactly how that's gonna go down. that way i have a general idea of what i'm doing but also so my ADHD lizard brain doesn't forget.

17: what do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

as i'm currently dealing with this right now, here's what I've been doing! i know that the words just aren't wording right now, but because i still WANT to write, i'll allow myself to open my drafts if i'm feeling particularly antsy. but i don't force myself. i'm also engaging with other hobbies that i enjoy, and i've been using the time to catch up on some games i haven't played much in a while. i've also been reading, both books and fanfic. last time i was in a slump, reading other people's work helped a lot, as i was still able to engage with writing without the pressure and was inspired by a lot of the things i'd read. as far as getting rid of the guilt for not writing… i've literally never been able to get rid of that, but there's nothing i can do because my brain is an asshole, lol.

27: what is your most and least favorite part of writing?

most favorite: being able to get an idea i'm passionate about out on the page. even if it's something i never share, being able to create is very therapeutic for me. least favorite: definitely the imposter syndrome. i struggle with this all the time, even in the academic writing i did. my fiancé has been joking with me for years that "the more i hated a paper the better it probably was" because i was never satisfied with anything i wrote. no surprise this curse followed me into fanfic. i'm glad that my brain is always looking for ways to improve, but i wish it would do that without self-sabotaging.

39: share a snippet from a WIP

63: something you hate to see in smut.

there are certain terms and phrases for actions and anatomy that i just hate. but what's sexy to one person may be cringe to another, so unless i'm just not vibing with the story at all, that's not usually enough to get me to stop reading. it might take me out of it a little, but unless it's super egregious it's not a huge deal.

64: something you love to see in smut.

non-sexy dialogue. don't get me wrong, i looooooove a fic with dirty talk, but i also like it when the characters engage in some casual banter while doing the deed. i find that showcases the chemistry between them and makes their relationship super believable. i am a hopeless romantic and stuff like that always makes me kick my feet and swoon.

[podraje]

It's 4th of January, I am still away and that's what's been keeping me from doing a 2025 goals list, but I'd love to finally do it.

In 2025:

🐍 I want to buy a hanging calendar (monthly) and put it over my desk. Writing monthly goals with deadlines works wonders for me, and I want to be able to see them at all time.

🐍 I want to get rid of my old notebooks from Uni, and buy a beautiful one, to keep my writing notes and ideas in, so I would have it all in one place while writing on my computer. Because now I have some in my phone notes, in google docs, on pinterest, in old notebook that is not aesthetically pleasing and full of ripped pages, etc. This technique worked well when I was writing my master's thesis.

🐍 I want to have at least as good of writing year as I did in 2024 (my best year writing-wise [propably ever]). I hope my calendar will help me with this.

🐍 I want to read more books that'll keep me inspired (remember how reading Lockwood and Co kick-started my 2024 writing? That was incredible feeling 😭). I just want inspiration ✨️ I love how new worldbuilding ideas are coming to me, I love this so much, I just need to figure out the plot, cause it's not going where I wanted it to and I need to get back on track, without going back and rewriting 10th chapter again (since there isn't much to change, just like, four lines, but I like them and that's the problem).

🐍 Honestly? I don't want a busy year. I barely noticed and celebrated 2024, I felt disconnected to it, to the natural cycle. I want less work related travels. I want to spend more time with family and friends - so more home related travels (2024 was lacking in that department) and I want to be able to have free weekends in the summer to go for swimming and go for walks, and ride a bike 🌊🚴‍♂️🚶🏼‍♀️

🐍 I want to have summer vacation abroad with my bf (we never had a chance to go abroad together). If this LONG stay in his home village taught me anything, it's that I hate leaving home for too long. So I guess a 5 days vacation will be the best option. Maybe a city break? Cause I like those the most.

🐍 I want to go ice skating (with my bf, because WE NEVER DID IT TOGETHER, which is insane to me, because in my hometown there was an ice skate rink, and I was skating with everyone all the time. And we have been together for almost 6 years, and never went ice skating!!! 😱 [because in the city where we live, ice skate rink is expensive and used to have crazy skating times, and you had to book them and it was a whole thing, and I was pissed off at this. Thank God they changed it]).

🐍 I would love to go skiing! I have been skiing since I was 10, mostly because my hometown is near mountains, and now, my beloved city is far away from everything (!!!!!), so a mountain trip would have to take a whole weekend. But I (after almost 6 years, good Lord 🙈) found out, that in my bf's home region there is ONE (1) ski slope and this is the closest one --- wait I just checked it in google, and IT'S NOT THE ONLY ONE, I AM PISSED. But tbh, even If I knew about it before, we didn't have a car, so we wouldn't be able to go skiing either way. Owning a car does wonders. Too bad we didn't have the time to use it too much (for fun things) in 2024. I WANT TO GO SKI!!! (I also want to take my bf, because he never went skiing, and I think he will propably hate it, because he has knees issues, but I would love for him to at least try/be with me).

🐍 We will start the process of apartment hunting, so by the end of the 2025, I would want to have at least a clear situation - will we be buying off the one we are currently renting, or will we be buying something new? Some verbal agreements with the potential seller would be nice.

🐍 I wish to get engaged this year 🙈🙉 I am not getting any younger, and I am the type of girl who needs to be married to have children. And I would like to have a child sometime around 30.

🐍 Last but not least, I need to start going to the gym. I have a sitting lifestyle and it took a toll on my health and condition. I want to start running and gain some muscle, because I am the weakest bitch you know. I tried running outside, but it's just not for me. I used to go to the gym when I was a teenager and I liked running on the threadmill (also my friend inspired me, she only goes to the gym for the threadmill, and for some reason I thought you can't do that 😅). Also, I want to start going to the pool. Same thing as the ice skating - used to go very often, but now in my city there aren't a lot of cheap, city pools, and most of those are on the other side of the town. Once again the car will help me move around the city more quickly.

🐍 OH! Also I forgot - I need to take care of my guitar. I haven't played it in around 2 years, and it sits sad in the corner. My resolution is to play it at least a little this year. Maybe replace the strings, because they have ~10 years 😅 Maybe buy a guitar stand. If it's out of the case, it would take less effort to take it and play 😅

I think that's it? It seems like a lot, but many of those will be accomplished right when I'm back home (ice skating, calendar buying, notebook). And most of those are just a lifestyle plans. I want to take things slowly, appreciate the cycle of the year and the nature. Spent more time outside and have more free weekends to do fun shit.

-> A bonus wish would be to go camping once this summer, but that might be a difficult to accomplish, since we don't own a tent (and I'm not sure if anyone we know owns one).

Everyone is making new year's vision boards, so I will make emoji board, cause I'm lazy and don't really want to do a vision board. But like, emojis that would encapsulate the vibes I want, seems like fun idea.

❄️🌬⛄️⛷️⛸️🎿✒️📚🎸📸🌻💍🎬🌲🏕🌿🌊🚲🛤���️🏊🌄

[semper-legens]

126. A History of the Roman Empire in 21 Women, by Emma Southon

Owned: No, library Page count: My summary: Ever wondered what the women of Ancient Rome were up to while the men were off stabbing each other and stabbing themselves and becoming Emperor? Want to know about a middle-class Pompeiian woman making a living by her own means? How Rome both began and ended with a woman? The only woman who ever claimed the title of Roman Emperor? All of this and more are inside this book! My rating: 4/5

Ancient Rome! As you might have noticed, I've been on something of an Ancient Rome kick of late. It's not my fault if one of the Worst Places Ever is so interesting to read about from the perspective of someone far in the future. Anyway, this book is of course about the women of Ancient Rome, or rather some of them. It's from the author of A Fatal Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, a book analysing the role of death in Ancient Rome, which I have previously read and really enjoyed. Actually, this was recommended to me by a friend who's a Classics nerd, after I recommended the Wolf Den books to her, and I am happy to say that it did not disappoint! I liked it a lot, although there was one thing I have issue with that stops it being a full 5/5.

Overall, it's a really good book! Southon's chatty, informal narrative works just as well here as it did in Forum, and you can tell there's a real passion and joy in learning this knowledge for her. She has opinions about Emperors and historical figures, pet theories and points of interest; she admits she doesn't like battles but recommends a place that readers can engage with them if they want, that sort of thing. Her voice is 90% of the reason that this book works (the other 10% being, like, the actual information) and it's so enjoyable. Now, the thing I took issue with as I mentioned in the opening was how she talks about Elagabalus. For those of you that aren't up on your Ancient Roman emperors, she became emperor as a teenager and was assassinated young because everyone hated her. She? Yes, looking back on her life and what we know about her, historians have hypothesised that Elagabalus was a trans woman - she was on the record as wanting reassignment surgery, among other things. You'd think a recently-written book about women in Ancient Rome might address this. But no, there's no mention of the possibility that Elagabalus might have identified as a woman. Which is disappointing to me - Elagabalus was a Roman Emperor, she did a lot of bad stuff, but I think her identity bears a mention at least, given that talking about women was the thesis statement of the book. Disappointing, but overall this was a good read, and really interesting if you're into the subject matter!

Next, back to the Roman Mysteries, and it's time for dolphins.

[secretlywritingstories]

I just remembered the personal blog I used to have. I started writing on it the summer at the end of my first year at university and I stopped posting the autumn I'd handed in my master thesis. It followed me through ups and downs for over five years and looking back at it now feels strange.

It's coming up on the 10 years since I started that blog. I just opened my first post to check it out and immediately noticed a dumb spelling error. And oh, how naive and unsure I was back then. Just 19 years old thinking that I was becoming an adult.

To be fair, I was but I've spent most of the last decade becoming more and more adult and I'm not sure I've reached "proper" adulthood yet. If such a thing ever exist.

But it was a curious thing to see what took up my heart and mind. Lots of university struggles, spending time with my horse, writing and setting myself writing challenges, dealing with anxiousness and stress. Perhaps not all that different from my life now (if you swap job with uni) but somehow, contradictory, also vastly different.

In the five years that the blog has sat abandoned (my old age of 24 sitting in the banner as a marker), I've gone through a lot. As a human I've grown immensely, even if many of my interests and the way I engage with the world is still similar.

My very last blog post was about handing in my thesis and then having to do an oral defence a couple of weeks later. I finished on this: I don't know if I have ever been more scared. It was that anticipation of what my life would look like when I was no longer a student.

I had been a student my whole life, jumping from one form of education to another. Ten years of school. Three years of gymnasium. Six years of university. Almost two decades of being in school in some shape or form and the anticipation of what came after was so scary. I would lose all of my structure and crumble, I could feel it in my bones.

In some ways, I did. But in other ways, I also have been very fortunate. It took me over a year to find a job. I had to go through a pandemic that only made it harder. The isolation was gutting but it also made me find an online community that are now some of my closest friends. I started working a reception job only to be able to move into a department related to my field after ten months.

I've kept past friendships from schools, I still have my horse, I'm close with my family, I daily chat with my online friends and we've been (and will go) on trips to meet up. I've got a good salary, I like my colleagues and boss, and I get to try new exciting things, even if that sometimes scares me. I have written and published almost 100 fics since that last blog post and my writing has only gotten better and better.

My brain still trips me up. I didn't dare dive into some of the more mental health related posts I made at this moment but I think I'll see present me echoed in those too. Even if I've gotten better at dealing with stuff in some ways. I'm going to try to continue to improve on that front.

Five years is a long time but somehow, in the span of a full life, also a short time. For five years, I wrote on that personal blog. It's been five years since I've touched it. One version of me started it and another version finished it, and me looking back on it now is yet another different version.

I don't share like that anymore on the internet, but I do still keep a journal I write in every single day. And well, then there's these "my tumblr dabbles" a way to give myself permission to post tiny parts of me and my thoughts online still. Crack myself open and see what flows out onto the page that I want to share. Thank you for everyone who indulges them.

[dhaaruni]

I unofficially consulted on this piece about P*yton B*achdeath, who has moved on from terrorizing Tumblr and now terrorizes the New York Times.

I like Kat Rosenfield a lot, and this part in particular stood out to me:

Meanwhile, in 2023, there are few young adults who don’t have a discoverable digital footprint dating back to their teens, the content of which should not be held against them, no matter how embarrassing or unsophisticated it might be. Those of us who came of age before the social web may thank the stars that our most cringeworthy adolescent thoughts are confined to the pages of a physical (read: burnable) diary, rather than preserved for all eternity on the internet. Yet it behooves us to recognise that one individual’s trajectory from Tumblr conspiracy theorist to NYT columnist is not substantively different to going back for your 10-year high school reunion and discovering that your lab partner from freshman biology — the one who always seemed to like dissecting frogs a little too much — is now an accomplished neurosurgeon. Rather, I want to question the trajectory whereby an argument like this one — which ultimately hinges less on historical accuracy than the desire of its author that it be true — can make its way into the pages of the New York Times. Partly, this might be down to the existence of a commissioning editor on staff who likes to source their pitches from Twitter, where Thomas went viral last spring with a thread advancing the same thesis ultimately argued in the Alcott essay. But there is something here, too, about the ability of an ultimately half-baked idea to sneak past the gatekeepers of our most storied media institutions.

Like, we as a society have got to be better at discerning the truth and parsing through all the waffle, that's all I'm going to say.

If people are going to label any pushback as reactionary conservatism, that's really counterproductive and decidedly not how we're going to achieve social progress!

[downturnedhierophant]

hi, i'm ella and back to the basics

hi! i'm ella. my name's not actually ella. and english is not my first language. i created this tumblr blog so i could write about the books i'm reading as a way to encourage myself to read more by keeping this page updated somewhat regularly.

you see, when i was a child, i used to read all of the time. i would devour books like i needed them to fill my stomach. but then my teenage years came and i acquired a smartphone, and also depression. the last one wasn't voluntary. i came to read less and less with time. now i am an adult and i've been missing the way that books made me feel when i was younger, also i am, and i don't say this lightly, fucking tired of my smartphone and how it seems to make my brain numb. so now i'm on a journey to rediscover the pleasure of reading.

in the beginning of the year, i set a goal to myself to read 12 books by the end of the year. 1 book per month. easy enough, right? well, i started well, made a pact with my friend that we would re read the first percy jackson and the olympians book because the series was airing and we are huge fans. i read it. she didn't because she was on vacation and forgot the book at home, which is okay because she doesn't need it, she reads waaaay more books than i do. all the time. but it was interesting to start the journey with a book that made me so happy as a child and that i'm obsessed with 'till this day.

after that, my adult life came crashing at me. i started studying for a big test that could give me a stable job and was also working on my final thesis to finish my degree (it's journalism), therefore i really couldn't focus on my reading goal, especially because it wasn't a part of my routine anymore. so now i have graduated, i'm on an internship (hoping to be hired) and i want to try and take on my goal again.

as of now i have to read 10 books (i read one more in the meantime) in four months.

i wish to slowly come back to myself and step away further and further from what the suffocating technology (ironic, because i'm here) and bad mental health has done to my brain. this is my attempt to do so.

- ella from the downturned hierophant