#me: only has 1k left for the month and still has bills that need paying

[windfighter]

In this house we only make good economic deciscions

[madfantasy]

New 3 things that happened:

*I got my new ID, my id expired and to renew it I had to get photographed, and since I just opened my bank account a year ago it depends on it so already I was giving up on the idea to keep the account but by miracle a photographer agreed to picture us at home, and it turned to us cuz I wanted all my sibs to have theirs taken with me too and because I had to argue first time to get my ID forever, so i didn't have the energy to keep doing it for the rest of my sibs so now it was the chance. The day of the photographer coming I was shaking with fear and I thought I would never leave the bathroom gotten ill. I fear seeing people more than dyin so I don't know how I held it together, I literally don't remember how it went or how I did, but I recall my sibs looking the same as I felt but it was finally done. parents too taken their shoots and because one needed their passport renewed to renew their id, them alone costing 1k$ and the appointment was set 6 months ahead, we R now close to it anyway, and the thought of how we have to pay to exist some more costly made me think of my worthlessness and helplessness even more, making me ashamed of still living.

The thing that blinded me, me the first to be tested on lo

*my eye is better, I still see a dark spot looking in a certain direction, getting an eye mask surprisingly helped keeping my eyes less dry cuz they be the most when I wake up and I had the driest time before it got infected and swelled, and already I'm used to the spot and can ignore it..

*I'm still drawing, literally it's making me live love and laugh, I don't care about improving or drawing my best constantly, ai can get poisoned for all I care as it continues to dehumanise the whole point of art-- keeping humanity alive ( btw use glazing ❤️🖤)

I realised that I don't have any physical collection of my art & since I can't look at the screens forever just to browse, nd printing all my stuff isn't feasible, then I came across those mini albums Nd I got the idea to just print one sheet = 9 pics! They look good too for trashy quality, I love it 8' and yes, purple and silver is the 10% obsession to my 90% red and black pallets, thanks to remembering Freeza c'x

But as usual posting my drawings never cease to eat me alive with anxiety, but I think I'm slowly becoming indifferent to it, even if the thought of that no one actually sees my art but me, which is the main case cuz I am living in isolation and being drawing in secret till few recent years because of my conservative surroundings, I feel much calmer when I'm not seen and maybe it's self destructive in a way cuz to stay posting I need to be commissioned cuz net bill, but it became irrelevant cuz I accepted that i can't have the mental capacity to be a social media person or chase anything that I already knew I can't maintain, I had an art block for a year I almost believed that was it for my art drive and me cuz it my sanity— cuz burning out so bad. If my post has a description it was in my drafts for months cuz I plan for every piece I share, but if can't form words I allow myself to let it be captionless, I draw faster than I form words and that's why art is important to me on a personal level, it's my first way of express even if its indirect, the only bit of human Mani left to live in me to put through lines and paint splodges. Even if no one sees it, and to be honest with myself, have very weak chances of being seen on a level that benefits me financially, I'm on the other side of the world, never seen the sky beyond my schooling days, nonverbal irl and know that I can get taken advantage of easily in social manner because it either I don't get the social cues or can't say no..

I'm grateful that at least I got the chance to experience being in a loving nurturing fandom like Sev's that made me experience genuine human goodness and care I never thought possible, made me have some self worth, personality beyond a made for marriage caretaker, and allowed me to get art tools and clothing that I was never allowed or could afford, and many first time small life pleasures like perfumes, food and toys, even if I only recognise 5 or 10 of you dears now, by DP liking my posts- (I suck at remembering names sorry)

I'm also grateful to have a room after endless years of couch and house movings, I have a safe space to still be able to draw and be cool under an AC in this 50° weather..

I think realistically that's the best it can get having spent all my life trying to get anywhere but isolated, and nothing working. At least I'm indifferent and fine of being the caretaker of my disabled guardians and siblings, I need them as much as they need me, even if it caused me the same cycle of mental anguish and earth leavings hehe

Wish U all the ease and peace and yummy peas 🫶🏽

4 am, sleep deprived

[thevirgodoll]

I 22f have been with my boyfriend 25m for two years now. We moved in together in January of this year. At the time I had been working two jobs for the last year and a half 6 am to 12am doubles. I was pretty burnt out but saving so much money. Also at the time my boyfriend was working a job that paid 1200$ a week. Before moving in and for a month after We lived a baller lifestyle, he won me over because he had a cool car and took me out and showed me off and brought me flowers and coffee to work and just wanted me around all the time. On my own I was able to lead a pretty good independent lifestyle, shopping and shows and vacations and helping my mom with bills. Eventually He wanted to "take care of me" and even offered to let me use both his credit cards for school related bills (I'm a college student). In January I had quit my morning job for school but was still working nights.It's worth mentioning that I had a pretty decent savings account and enough money in the bank to pay bills for a few months and a 750 credit scorewith paid off credit cards. While I was working nights, he would constantly belittle me when I had a rough night and say things like "if you quit your job and let me take care of you it would be better for both of us" "you should just let me take care of you, I'll give you more money than you'll make" and "that job is so bad for you. It makes you angry and it's causing us to argue".

In February, I got fired and I took it as a sign from the universe to chill out and focus on school that semester. Thus allowing my boyfriend to take care of me. We had an agreement that the whole time he was taking care of me I would do all the household chores, laundry, cooked dinner, went grocery shopping and all around kept a clean and pretty house for us and went to school every day and did homework late every night. Towards the middle of the semester, due to personal reasons he lost his job. This led to him maxing out both his credit cards and both of my credit cards and basically forcing me to drain my whole account for bills. We had gone from a baller lifestyle to barely making rent each month real quick. He's never had a saving account and the last time I made him put money in his savings, he blew every penny on a shit box car and sold it. In April he crashed his brand new 1000$/ month car and used the insurance money to pay bills leaving him with a 1k payment every month that he can't afford. From April-June he didn't look for a job and would yell at me when I tried to get him even out of bed. I attempted during March-June toget a new job to help with bills and also because my bank account was getting dangerously low and he basically told me I couldn't work at a club or a bar and he didn't want me serving and I definitely couldn't do an onlyfans unless I was giving him 60% of the money. He also only wanted me to doordash or Uber eats instead of a proper job. This left me fucked because I've only ever served and bartended and I hate retail. (With GOOD reason) I have health care experience but I didn't want to go back into medical because of COVID. Every time i would bring up me getting a job or wanting to work somewhere he would essentially get extremely angry and would bully me about serving being for losers, and that he didn't want to see me in a bar or club environment, and if he didn't like somewhere (ie Twin Peaks which I tried hard for) then he would constantly talk down on the place and question why I would want to work there.

He also would say that "if I got a job we would never see each other" and that me "constantly trying to work and get a job was pointless and wasn't going to last bc I would just get fired" and "everytime you talk about getting a job we fight, you make us fight" Finally he got a new job and I settled to working just weekends at a restaurant/bar down the street from my house. I'm making less money than I need to pay bills, and he never has a positive bank account (constantly in the negative) and he continues spending up to -1.5k when his account is over drawn. As of September have no more money out of the 10k I had at the beginning of the year, my credit cards are maxed out and I have a 640 credit score. It's so hard not to resent him for his financial irresponsibility but when he refers to me as his "own personal bail out fund" to my face and constantly makes me feel like an atm I really do resent him. He also will get angry, cold shoulder me and tell me that "I should give him money because if I don't I'm refusing to help us" and I'm an "asshole who is so weird about talking about money and never going to make anymore". He makes jokes about me leaving him for a rich guy but never fails to follow with "I may be broke but any other guy will never be me. He'll be abusive and shitty and degrade you and you'll just be miserable in any other relationship. Our lease is up in December and I love him, I don't want to leave him over money because our relationship is perfect otherwise but this feels like a hard dealbreaker that I can't afford.

Girl........my God.......I actually don't have a lengthy post with bullet points or anything for this one. You answered your own question...it's a dealbreaker and he's ruining everything you ever had or could have. I know it's hard to leave abusive relationships from personal experience but when it comes to your future and well being that's when enough has to be enough. Do you want to live the rest of your life with someone who can't even give you basic respect nor agency? I mean be fr. If you had to type all of this to me, you already know the answer. You wouldn't just be leaving him over money, you'd be leaving him over a violation of the relationship and a violation of self. Multiple violations at that. You already know what to do and I need you to make a game plan of how to do it immediately because this will only get worse.

[nim-lock]

Art Career Tips, 2021 Edition

Here’s an edited version of my 2019 answered ask, because... this feels relevant. 

It is a problem of capitalism that folks equate their income as a judgement of their value as people; and let me preface. You are worth so much. You have inherent value in this world. Your income is not a judgement on who you are (plenty of billionaires are actively making the world worse). LARPing self-confidence will go a long way to helping you get paid more for your work, because clients will believe that you know what you are doing, and are a professional. 

& real quick—my own background is that I’ve been living off my art since 2018. I went to art school (Pratt Institute). I work in a publishing/educational materials sphere, and a quarter of my income is my shop. Not all of this information may apply to you, so it is up to you to look through everything with a critical eye, and spot pick what is relevant. 

So there are multiple ways of getting income as an artist; 

Working freelance or full-time on projects

Selling your stuff on a shop

Licensing (charging other companies to use your designs)

This post primarily covers the freelance part; if you’re interested in the other bits there is absolutely info out there on the internet. 

IF you are just starting (skip to next section if not applicable) dream big, draw often (practice helps you get better/more efficient), do your best to take "a bad piece” lightly. You’re gonna RNG this shit. At some point your rate of “good” works will get higher. Watch tutorial videos & read books. A base understanding of “the rules”; anatomy, perspective, composition, color helps you know what the rules are to break them. This adds sophistication to your work. One way you can learn this stuff is by doing “studies”—you’re picking apart things from life, or things other people have done, to see what works, and how it works. 

Trying to turn your interests into a viable career means that you are now a SMALL BUSINESS; it really helps to learn some basic marketing, graphic design, figure out how to write polite customer service emails; etc. You can learn some of this by looking it up, or taking skillshare (not sponsored) classes by qualified folks. Eventually some people may get agents to take care of this for them—however, I do recommend y’all get a basic understanding of what it takes to do it on your own, just so you can know if your agent is doing a good job. 

Making sure your portfolio fits the work you want to get

Here is a beginner portfolio post. 

Research the field you’d like to get into. The amount people work, the time commitment, the process of making the thing, the companies & people who work for them. 

Create work that could fit in to the industry you’re breaking into. For example, if you want to do book cover illustration, you draw a bunch of mockup book covers, that can either be stuff you make up, or redesigns of existing books. If you’re not 100% sure what sort of work is needed for the industry, loop back into the portfolios of artists in a similar line of work as whatever you’re interested in, and analyze the things they have in common. If something looks to be a common project (like a sequence of action images for storyboard artists), then it’s probably something useful for the job. 

CLIENTS HIRE BASED ON HOW WELL THEY THINK YOUR WORK FITS WHAT THEY WANT. If they’re hiring for picture books, they’re gonna want to see picture book art in your portfolio, otherwise they may not want to risk hiring you. Doesn’t have to be 100% the project, but stuff similar enough. If you aren’t hired, it doesn’t mean your work is bad, it just wasn’t the right fit for that specific client. 

If you have many interests, make a different section of your portfolio for each!

Making sure you’re relevant 

Have a social media that’s a little more public-facing, and follow people in the career field you’re interested in. Fellow artists, art directors, editors, social media managers; whoever. Post on your own schedule. 

Interact with their posts every so often, in a non-creepy way. 

If you’ve made any contacts, great! Email these artists, art directors, editors, former professors, etc occasional updates on your work to stay in touch AND make sure that they think about you every so often.

Show up to general art events every once in a while! If you keep showing up to ones in your area (when... not dying from a sneeze is a thing), folks will eventually start to remember you. 

Industry events & conferences can be pricey, so attend/save up for what makes sense for you. Industry meetups are important for networking in person! In addition to meeting people with hiring power, you also connect with your peers in the community. Always bring a portfolio & hand out business cards like candy. 

Active job hunting

Apply to job postings online.

If interested in working with specific people at specific companies, you could send an email “I’d love to work with you, here’s my portfolio/relevant experience”, even if they aren’t actively looking for new hires. Be concise, and include a link to your work AND attached images so the person reading the email can get a quick preview before clicking for more. 

Twitter job postings can be pretty underpaid! Get a copy of the Graphic Artists’ Guild Handbook Pricing & Ethical Guidelines to know your rate. I once had a twitter post job listing email me back saying that other illustrators were charging less, and I quote, “primarily because they’re less experienced and looking for their first commission”. This was not okay! For reference, this was a 64-illustration book. The industry rate of a children’s book (~36 pages) is $10k+, and this company’s budget was apparently $1k. For all of it. 

Congrats you got a job! Now what?

Ask for like, 10% more than they initially offer and see if they say yes. If they do, great! If not, and the price is still OK, great! Often company budgets are slightly higher than they first tell you, and if you get this extra secret money, all the better for you. 

Make sure you sign a contract and the terms aren’t terrible (re: GO GET THE  Graphic Artists’ Guild Handbook Pricing & Ethical Guidelines) 

Be pleasant and easy to work with (Think ‘do no harm but take no shit’)

Communicate with them as much as needed! If something’s going to be late, tell them as soon as you know so they aren’t left wondering or worse, reaching out to ask what’s up. 

And if all goes well, they’ll contact you about more jobs down the line, or refer you to other folks who may need an artist, etc. 

Quick note about online shops/licensing and why they’re so good

It’s work that you do once, that you continuously make money off of. Different products do well in different situations (conventions vs. online, and then further, based on how you market/the specific groups you are marketing to), so products that may not do well initially may get a surge later on. 

Start with things that have low minimum order quantity and are relatively cheap to produce, like prints and stickers. 

If you are not breaking even, go back to some of the earlier portions of this and think about how you could tweak things as a small business. Ease of access is also very important with this; for example, if you only take orders through direct messages, that immediately shuts off all customers who don’t like talking to strangers. 

Quick resource that you could look through; it’s the spreadsheet of project organizing that I made a while back 

Licensing is when people pay you for the right to use your work on stuff they need to make, like textbooks or greeting cards. This is generally work you’ve already made that they are paying the right to use for a specified time or limited run of products. This is great because you’ve already done the work. I am not the expert on this. Go find someone else’s info.

“I am not physically capable of working much”/ “I need to pay the bills”

Guess who got a hand injury Sept 2020 that messed me up that entire month! I had a couple jobs going at the time that I was terrified of losing, but they were quite understanding when I told them I needed to heal. So:  Express your needs as early as you know you need them. Also do lots of stretches and rest your hands whenever you feel anything off; this will save your health later. Like, the potential of a couple months of no income was preferable over losing use of my hands for the rest of my life.

This continues to apply if you have any other life situation. Ask for extra time. Ask for clarification. If you tell people ahead of time, folks are often quite understanding. Know how much you are capable of working and do your best not to overdo it. (I am.. bad at this)

Do what MAKES SENSE for your situation. If doing art currently earns you less money than organizing spreadsheets, then do that for now, and whenever you have the energy, break down some of the tips above into actionable tiny chunks, and slowly work at em. 

The original ask I got in 2019 mentioned ‘knowing you’re not good enough yet’. Most artists experience imposter syndrome & self-doubt—the important thing is to do your best, and if anything, attempt to channel the confidence of a mediocre white man. If he can apply to this job/charge hella money for Not Much, then so can you! 

Check out this Art Director tumblr for more advice!

Danichuatico’s Literary Agent guide

Kikidoodle’s Shop Shipping Tutorial

Best of luck!

–

Once again disclaimer this post is just the ramblings of a man procrastinating on other things that need to be done. I’ve Long Posted my own post so that it turns into mush in my brain if I try to read it, but I wrote this so I should know this content. If you got down here, congrats. Here’s a shrimp drawing.

Yee Ha. 

My reference post tag My tip jar

[iliveiloveiwrite]

what our god in heaven has in store

A/N: MORE ANGST FOR REMUS! Someone please request some fluff for him soon or I may dehydrate myself with all the tears I keep crying! Okay, so I was really inspired by a line from the second season of The Umbrella Academy (which I have bolded) but I won't spoil! It’s so good though so go watch... after you read this! This isn't very long, I can’t write angst for pages and pages, it hurts too much lol. I’m also less than 10 followers from my next 100 which I can’t believe! Anyway, I hope you all enjoy!

Title: Les Miserables - One Day More

Summary: The night before the Battle of Hogwarts.

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Fem!Reader

Warnings: angst

Word count: 1k

The Burrow hadn’t seen this many people since Bill’s wedding to Fleur only a few months ago.

A wedding only a few months back… it felt like an entire lifetime ago.

The large oak table that takes centre stage in Molly Weasley’s kitchen is crowded; full beyond capacity.

Members of the Order sit around the table, all nursing their drinks whether it be tea, coffee or something stronger. Seldom few words are spoken; minds alone focusing on the outcome of this war.

It had come to a head.

A message received earlier today: HP on the move to Hogwarts. Final battle to begin soon.

The Order would spend their final night at the Burrow before apparating to the grounds by Hogwarts.

You sip at the dregs of your tea, looking down at the leaves in your cup. A prophecy had started this; a prophecy would end this.

A cool breezes floats in through the open door. It ruffles your hair and has your eyes closing at the feel of it brushing over your skin.

Time was dwindling; a handful of hours left – you were going to enjoy them.

A chair scrapes across the stone floor of the kitchen. Opening your eyes, you catch sight of Remus’ tweed jacket walking out of the door – the morose atmosphere in the room becoming too much.

You follow him after a minute; giving him the time to collect his thoughts and feelings.

The night air is cool, and the smell of Molly’s Freesias is intoxicating. Remus stands before the shoulder-length grass; his entire body tense with anticipation and dread. You walk towards him slowly; your mind running over all possibilities for what you’re about to face come the sunrise.

Remus startles at your hand on his shoulder but relaxes at the sound of your voice, “Darling, what is it?”

His voice is hoarse as he says, “You know, I’ve lived through two wars and I’m not yet forty. I’d like to live through tomorrow to see forty.”

Remus sits down in the grass; not caring whether his suit trousers get wet. He continues, “I’d like to live through tomorrow so I can begin my life with you.”

You fold yourself down into the grass next to him, “You worry me with talk like that.”

He takes your hand in his, tangling your fingers together, “I know. I’m sorry, love. It’s on everyone’s minds though.”

“You’re right. I’d like to live through tomorrow too. I’d like to start this life that you’re speaking about.”

His fingers tighten on yours even more, “Whatever happens, promise me you’ll come back to me.”

You meet his eyes with fierce determination, the very same reflected in your voice, “I will always come back to you. Nothing will keep me apart from you.”

His eyes close as if a long, open wound had finally closed; your words being the balm to heal.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow.” He whispers.

“Neither do I. That’s the terrifying part.”

“I know one thing though.”

“What’s that?”

Remus places his forehead against yours; his hands grasp either side of your face. His breath fans across your face as he whispers: “I would take my year with you over a lifetime with anyone else.”

And the tears that you’ve held through this entire conversation finally begin to fall.

Remus kisses your cheeks, brushing away with the tears with your lips. “I’ve never spoken truer words.”

And he hadn’t. Your relationship was still new; just over a year long. It had been a year of anxiety and insecurity with the war, but it had also been a year full of love and passion from Remus. Your feelings for him had always been there; you had known the man since Hogwarts but had been in the year below him. However, that hadn’t stopped you from harbouring a crush on the bookworm Marauder. You never thought he would notice you.

Joining the revival of the Order had you socialising in the same circle, and he started to pay attention to you. He asked for your opinions on plans, on missions. He worried when you went away. He had fallen in love with you and he didn’t even realise it until you were injured. The result of his panic had him confessing to you in your room and Remus had never felt happiness like he felt when you confessed that you felt the same way.

So much depended on tomorrow.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.

Tomorrow they would finally find out what’s in store. Tomorrow they would find out whether they had a future or not. Tomorrow they would know whether the plans they had created in the calm of the night would come to fruition.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. The words run through your head like a mantra; they chorused like a choir. You wouldn't let yourself think past tonight; tomorrow would be a problem for tomorrow. Right now, you’re going to remain in this moment with the love of your life. 

Your tears are mixed with Remus’ own as he presses kiss after kiss to your mouth. He pulls you into his lap; you straddle his thighs. Kiss after kiss is shared; words don’t need to be spoken through this. He’s making up for every kiss he didn’t do, and for every kiss he may never do after tomorrow.

Optimism is more than essential for this, and Remus is trying. He is trying because his future had never looked so until the first time you kissed him. His future had never taken form beyond the lunar cycle until you had whispered the words ‘I love you’ against his skin, mouthing them over the scars that mar his body.

Remus had never wished for a lot. He gave up after he wished to never experience a full moon again, but he still transformed the next month.

But he wished for this. He wished for you. He wished for a future in the form of a shared home, a wedding, children.

He wished, and wished, and wished.

And once he was done with his wishing, he’ll begin his praying.

Tomorrow decides it all.

But Remus has already decided; it’s you, and it always will be, and he’ll fight and fight for it.

********

General (HP) taglist: @chaotic-fae-queen @obsessedwithrandomthings @harrypotter289 @dreamer821​ @heloisedaphnebrightmore​@nebulablakemurphy​ @the-hufflefluffwriter @figlia--della--luna​ @bforbroadway​ @idont-knowrn @summer-writes

[evak-fic-rec-turtleanon]

Evak Fics - Christmas 2018

Christmas fics posted in 2018  (Includes non-English fics) 

Snön ligger vit på taken by MinilocIsland, Treehouse (In Svenska, 62k words) - Det här extrajobbet måste vara den bästa idén Isak någonsin har haft. Långa, ensamma nätter med massor av tid att plugga. Helt chill. Ingenting som stör. Tills den där långa, snygga regissören flyttar in i taksviten. 

Hele Norge Baker by MermaidsandMermen (61k words) - Are you brave enough to stay? Or strong enough to walk away? Isak Valtersen is neither, still reeling with guilt over leaving his little family, walking away from a life that was slowly suffocating him. He’s neither strong or brave, he’s a coward. Stupid, weak and easily led, with no idea how to make things right. He’s made himself a promise though, he is going to stay single and finally take control of his own life. He’s going to be happy. Work hard. Be the best father he can be, and he is never going to let himself get dragged into a relationship again. He’s been there, done that, and it’s not for him. He is going to have a quiet winter, a quiet Christmas and he is going to chill. Lick his wounds and for once just be himself. That’s the plan. 

The First Noel by colazitron (2k words) - Even's parents have a cabin in Hemsedal where the family traditionally spends Christmas. This year, Isak's coming with. 

Fucking Bieber by Kollakolan (6k words) - “So,” Elias starts. “You’ve decided to join us on Christmas Eve?” Isak just nods, as he is just about to take a sip. “Great. It’s not really that complicated. The baskets are already made; you’ll just pick them up and deliver them according to a list of addresses. Oh, and also, you need to be wearing at least a Santa’s hat.” “Since it’s Christmas specials and all,” Mikael adds. 

boys and boys and girls and girls by colazitron (2k words) - Noora meets a handsome boy at the Christmas market one day, but all is not she may have originally thought. 

The first star you see may not be a star by Laika_the_husband (53k words) - In this story of dark and woe Isak is a sex worker who specializes in services of not traditionally sexual nature. Want to watch someone sharpen a pencil really slowly, making a long twirly unbroken strip, for your kicks? Isak's your guy. He is good at his job and he likes it, and it pays the bills while he's studying civil engineering at the Met.It's also convenient that Isak doesn't have to actually touch any of his clients. Because he can't touch anybody, and nobody can touch him, or he'll freak out completely. One day, Isak goes to meet a client, and sees EvenStarr, the video artist whose stuff he loves. And his request is not the most bizarre, but the most disturbing one Isak has ever received. 

Christmas prompts by nofeartina (4k words) - Collection of prompts Tina wrote for on tumblr. 

The wish I wish tonight by imminentinertia (1k words) - A visit to Marianne, and a present, of sorts 

Jumpstart by colazitron (2k words) - Isak and Even spend their first Christmas just the two of them in Trondheim. 

What is the light by unsungyellowraincoat (1k words) - That year Mom can’t put up the Christmas tree. 

Santa Baby by Laika_the_husband (21k words) - Part 3. The story where the author suddenly found out Isak is polyamorous. And genderqueer. The POV changes every now and then. I'm making this to examine the poly Evak from various angles. 

Expiration Date by Treehouse (5k words) - In the midst if the December stress, Isak has to make use of the gift card Eskild gave him for Christmas last year. A gift card for a freaking massage. 

The Næsheims by Kollakolan (2k words) - “Well, you know the Næsheims?  ”Yes, Isak knows the Næsheims. Or rather, he knows of them, and he knows that Sana knows them. They have a restaurant down town where Sana’s brother works. They’ve gone by a couple of times when Sana needed to hand him keys or something. Isak also knows that the son in the Næsheim family is maybe the hottest guy in all of Oslo. Not that he has told anyone that he think’s so, but I mean come on, it’s not like Isak must spell it out. They have eyes. 

By Your Side by MinilocIsland (1k words) - Some Christmas traditions may not be what they seem, but it doesn't really matter. 

In una sera così serena by imminentinertia (2.6k words) - Isak has had quite enough of Christmas and it's only December 13. 

December 2018 by imminentinertia (Series, 6 Fics) 

bits and pieces of their love by cammm (Series) - One shots. All may not be Chrismassy. 

Ho Ho Ho!!! by MermaidsandMermen (5.5k words) - A big fundraising School Christmas Market, to raise the last bit needed for that big Revue. It will be great. Lots of local families coming to drink glogg and buy hotdogs and do stupid money pinching games. Yes and the kids can meet Santa. Sit on his lap and get a present. Such christmassy fun. 

one thing I really do need by colazitron (3.5k words) - Isak comes home from meeting the boys for some gløgg feeling festive and cheerful. 

Den lengste natta by hjertetssunnegalskap (Crazyheart) (In Norsk, 22k words) - Det er fredag den 21. desember 2018 og vintersolverv. Fruktbarhetsguden Frøy, i Evens skikkelse, må for første gang gjøre seg fortjent til den gaven han ønsker seg aller mest; kjærlighet. 18 år gamle Isak syns kjærligheten virker uoppnåelig, helt til han kommer hjem til Oslo på juleferie og besøker Jonas og Eva på kafeen Eldrimni. 

Gay Jesus by unsungyellowraincoat (1k words) - Eskild has an encounter. 

A New Tradition by bri_ness (1k words) - Lea has Isak and Even over for Christmas Eve. 

A different celebration by Kollakolan (3k words) - “We realized a few years ago that we were a few friends who never celebrated Christmas with our families. At first it was just me, Elias, Noora and one of Elias friends. But now usually some exchange students come along as well as other people that we find on the way.” “Like me?” Sana just smiles at him. 

Times like now by nofeartina (3k words) - Isak watches him, looks into Even’s eyes with what light’s left, watches his mouth go slack as Isak slowly puts his hand inside the fly and pulls out Even’s dick. He’s so hard. Isak wants to worship him, wants to show him how perfect he is. 

Warmth by bri_ness (557 words) - Isak doesn't know how to accept a Christmas present from his mom. 

From Spark to Flame by MinilocIsland (1.5k words) - He'd thought he'd be alone in the castle for Christmas as usual. This year, however, there's a slight disruption to Isak's Christmas plans. 

i wish for by hippopotamus (2k words) - Isak just wishes that one person would want to get to know him before they knew that he could do magic. 

i think i recognise your face but i've never seen you before by monsterandmana (1k words) - Even works in a coffee shop. Isak is on the coffee run. It's Christmas. 

Fotokalendern by Kollakolan (In Svenska, 12k words) - Tags says Christmas but not really so I’m not sure. 

The Magician by folerdetdufoler (3.6k words) - the "christmas magic" prompt 

Two truths and one tale by evak1isak (7.6k words) - Isak ends up in Eva's cabin for a Kosegruppa's New Year's Eve Party. And begins the new year with a new boyfriend. 

I'll be home for Christmas by teatrolley (9k words) - They’ve been in Trondheim for half a year now. But for Christmas, they’re coming home. Or: Sometimes the things you were running from become the things you want to run towards 

Merry Kiss My Ass (under the mistletoe) by TheGirlNoOneKnows5 (10k words) - Working in retail during the holiday season is a nightmare. Especially when Isak has to work right alongside his just friend and not at all crush, Even. Among freaky customers, secret santa presents and constant reminders of his one night of passion with Even, Isak doesnt know if he'll make it to the new year. If only he could figure out who was behind all the random mistletoes he keeps finding... 

The Magic of Christmas by wyoheartsmusic (4k words) - Isak hates his job - especially during Christmas; to be honest, he pretty much hates anything involved with Christmas. But then Even comes around and maybe he doesn't hate anything all that much 

o night divine by thekardemomme (4k words) - This is the first Christmas in nearly five years that he’s spending without Isak, and while he still decorated his apartment and bought eggnog and spent an excruciating amount of time wrapping all of his gifts perfectly, the hole in his heart hasn’t gone unnoticed. It creeps in every time he goes to ask Isak for a bow for his gifts, every time he comes home and has to turn on the Christmas lights himself because Isak wasn’t there to do it for him, every time he plays Christmas music much too loud because Isak isn’t studying in the other room and teasingly pleading for him to turn it down a few notches. It also creeps in when he sees Isak’s present sitting under the tree, neatly wrapped. It’s been wrapped for two months, actually. 

I'm Stuck on You by Twinklylightseverywhere (6k words) - Jonas lets out another nervous laugh. Isak wishes his best friend would shut up. “You two will take the spare room. Uh… with one bed.” “ONE BED?” Isak and Even both shout at the exact same time. “Merry Christmas!” 

Mine egne meninger by hjertetssunnegalskap (Crazyheart) (In Norsk, 17k words) - Eva kunne allerede kjenne hjertet banke raskere. Hun visste det var tullete, men med ett bare visste hun at hun kom til å slite med å dele rom med Vilde. Hun kom til å bli gående rundt en feberhet tåke og tenke på Vilde hele helga. Til ingen nytte. Fy faen. Dette kom jo til å bli en helt strålende romjulsferie.  I think this is an Evilde fic. 

Shall I Find No Other by ultimatelawrence (5k words) - Everyone is born with a compass on their body, inked into their skin and commonly on their inner left arm. Instead of pointing to north, the needle on the compass points in the direction of your true soulmate. Even wants to find his as soon as possible. 

hope you're wearing your best clothes by colazitron (2.6k words) - Even's original plan was to get Isak Harry Styles merch. One of those “treat people with kindness” sweatshirts because Isak likes being cosy and he likes Harry Styles and it's a nice slogan. 

[multisuperfandom]

I’ll be your teacher

Part 1 of The True Omega series

Pairing: Scott McCall x reader

Warnings: angst, language, mentions of neglect, unrequited love, loneliness, depression

Summary: You’ve known him almost your entire life. You were close enough to call acquaintances, but not nearly close enough to be called friends. Then again, you weren’t close enough with anyone to call them friends. You were an omega. The absolute definition of an omega. Being born out of an affair, your mother, one of the greatest alphas ever seen, Talia Hale, rejected you. Your father, her former emissary, and almost all of your half siblings hated you for it. You ran away from Beacon Hills when you were 13, after the abuse you had gotten from your father became too much. But the news of an alpha in your home town has lured you back. An alpha comes with a pack, and now the boy you were never close enough with, is a freshly bitten beta. Now you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. Between helping the boy you always wanted to be friends with, and finally having a pack. What will you do?

Word count: 1k 

Tags: @nostalthicc

~~~~~~~~

Beacon Hills. You had so many mixed feelings about Beacon Hills. On one hand, it’s your home. It’s where you grew up and became the person you are today. On the other hand, Beacon Hills was where you first learned the hardest lessons in life, where you were the loneliest, the saddest.

You shouldn’t have come back. You knew that long before you ever even thought about coming to California. But the part of you that craves a pack, that craves a connection, dragged you here.

You had a routine in New York. You had a life. You had an apartment. You were a waitress at a small, terrible diner that you were pretty sure was a cover for a mafia scheme, but it was a job. You didn’t have any parents to listen to, any siblings to survive. You’re only responsibility was paying the bills. No people that needed you. No one that cared about you.

But that was the problem.

Now you were sitting in chemistry class, staring at the equation on the board, trying to not die from boredom. Chemistry and science wasn’t your thing. School wasn’t your thing. It bored you. So, why were you here?

To fulfill a childhood hope of yours. Scott McCall and Stiles Stilinski. Mainly Scott McCall.

Growing up, you were always in their class, all the way up until you ran away. You had talked to them, helped them with their school work. You even impressed them with your knowledge of basically anything, but they never wanted to be your friend or show you any attention. After a while, you got used to it. No one ever wanted you, so what’s two more names added to the list, right?

But the seven-year-old little girl in you wanted to at least try.

“Dude, you made first line?” You hear a voice in front of you ask.

“I told you, man, this year is my year,” another voice-Scott McCall, himself-replies before looking across the classroom at someone. Allison Argent. The seven-year-old girl in you hates that. Allison’s family has tried to kill you several times, each meeting you barely made it out. But that’s not why you hate it. You hate it because of this stupid, pathetic crush you’ve harbored for Scott since the 3rd grade. It was completely crazy but you couldn’t stand to see him want her. Not when you’ve wanted him for so long.

“Are you coming to the game tomorrow?” The first voice -Stiles- ask. There’s silence for a moment before you realize he’s talking to you. Lifting your head, you see both boys staring at you.

“Of course,” you say shortly, before silently cursing yourself.

“It’s gonna be my first game,” Scott says, giving you a small smile.

“I would say good luck but you’re gonna do great out there.”

“McCall, Stilinski, Locks, do I need to separate you?” The teacher calls.

“No, sir,” the three of you say in unison.

You look at Scott once silence gathers among the students and the teacher starts talking. His scent changed a couple of days ago, and for a while, you couldn’t figure out why. Because of your weakened senses, it was hard for you to tell that he was bitten by the same alpha that brought you here. But now you clearly tell the difference in him.

This could be really good or really bad. This could be your first-class ticket to the pack you’ve always wanted or a first-class ticket to the afterlife.

~~~~~~~~~~

“You shouldn’t have come back.” Derek paces the floors of his old, burnt house.

“You came back,” You mutter before receiving a glare from your half brother.

“It’s dangerous here.”

“It’s dangerous everywhere for an omega!” Derek gives you a sympathetic look. You hate that look. You hate pity and everything that comes with it.

“Y/N-“

“You don’t get it, Derek! Laura rejected me! Mom rejected me!” You scream, your face turning red but you don’t care. There things you’ve been needing to say to him since you were 13. “I’ve been alone my entire life! You’ve had a pack, you’ve had teachers to teach you control. You wanna know how I learned? By sneaking into that fucking backyard and watching mom teach Laura! That’s how I learned!”

“Y/N,” he stops himself halfway, tilting his head slightly. For as long as you’ve known Derek, you’ve gotten to learn what he does when his certain senses are working.

“You hear something, don’t you?” You ask, grabbing his arm. He shakes you off and starts walking out the front door.

“Wait here.” Even though you don’t want to, you follow his instructions, staying almost completely still. But the waiting gets to be too much and you walk outside to stand behind Derek.

“I told you to stay inside,” he snarls at you, grabbing your arm but you shrug him off as he did to you.

“Maison?” The boy that Derek was talking to asks. You almost don’t respond before you remember that the name you’ve been called since you got back was Maison Locks. There was no way to know how many people knew that Y/N L/N was the love child of Talia Hale and F/N L/N. It was safer to be Maison Locks until you find out who the alpha is.

“Scott, what are you doing here?” You ask the boy that you have always secretly wanted to notice you. He never did, not until you came back a month ago. Now he and Stiles Stilinski talk to you in English and chemistry. But he doesn’t remember you from before, he just knows you as Maison.

“I just offered to teach him how to control the shift,” Derek says from the steps of the house. Your feet have worked on their own and now you are standing face to face with Scott McCall.

“I wouldn’t say yes,” you whisper in his ear so that Derek wouldn’t hear. You catch yourself saying these things, partly for payback, partly to spend some time with the boy. “He’s not the best teacher. Short-temper and all.”

“How am I supposed to learn how not to shift and almost murder Allison then?” Allison. You forgot about Allison. Of course, this is about Allison. “Or play lacrosse without hurting someone?”

“I can teach you,” you whisper again, less eager this time. This stupid crush of yours is interfering with your mind. Originally, you were just gonna come and find the alpha. Now you are a sophomore at Beacon Hills High School, only because you saw Scott at the grocery store. How are you supposed to find the alpha if you are teaching a new beta how to control himself. But you can’t stop yourself. All you have ever wanted was to have friends and people to depend on. Whether that was a pack or a group of friends. And you always wanted to be his friend.

“You can teach me?”

“I can, I’m an excellent teacher.” That was not a complete lie but it wasn’t also the truth. No one has ever cared enough about you to talk to you for more than ten minutes, much less have you teach them anything. So you taught yourself, maybe you will be a horrible teacher.

“You’re a werewolf?” He asks hesitantly. Nodding, you look up at him with your glowing blue eyes.

“Ok, ok,” he nods before taking a step back. You try to ignore the familiar aching pain in your heart. You tell yourself you’re used to it. Why would anyone want to be close to the omega? Except for your father, but you’re quick to push the thought of. Thoughts like that make controlling yourself hard.

“We’ll start tomorrow,” you say with a small smile. Turning and walking away, your smile grows to a large grin when you see Derek. Hearing crunching of leaves, you know that Scott has left and you are free to speak freely with Derek.

But when you step onto the stairs, he grabs your arm roughly, pulling you close. “That was a stupid move, omega.” His blue eyes looking at you in a way you’ve never seen them look at you. Like he hates you too. “How would an omega teach anyone, anything?”

Your strength surprises him and you when you yank your arm from his hold. Your own blue eyes echoed back to his. You’re angry, no beyond angry. For your entire life, everyone has always told you how worthless and unwanted you are. But never Derek. Never your brother, who always said how much he cared about you and wanted to protect you. But this, this isn’t him caring about you, this is him trying to dominate you. And you won’t have it.

“No, Derek, the stupid move was you thinking that you can treat me like a worthless omega.” You back away from him, shaking your head. You want to escape this. Escape the emotions you are feeling, the sadness, the loneliness, the anger. You want to leave it all. “Born werewolves are taught that we can rise and fall through the ranks. How fucking untrue is that? Once you’re an omega, you will always stay an omega.”

“That’s not true, Y/N.” He tries to get close to you, but you keep stepping back, away from him.

“No? What alpha wants another alpha’s trash? Their unwanted, worthless scum that doesn’t deserve a pack?” You keep talking, trying to push away the tears. “I just thought you were different than the rest.”

And then you were gone, gone from the emotions, from the man you thought was your brother, gone from this hurting.

~~~~~~~~

Because you watched your mother teach Laura, you learned more than just control. You are an evolved werewolf, just like your mother and Laura were.

Not many people know. You weren’t even sure if Derek knew, but it didn’t matter. Nothing else mattered right now, then getting home.

You should’ve driven, especially if the Argents are patrolling the woods. But you’re faster as a wolf; stronger, more in tune with your senses. You figured that you were safer running through the woods as a wolf than driving down the highway in your car.  

But now every noise you hear is scaring you. Every snap of a branch, every call of an owl. You aren’t safe. Your senses are in hyperdrive. Something’s coming. You need to get out of the woods.

You used to know every inch of this town. Every crack on the sidewalk. Every route to get to places. But two years away from Beacon Hills has interrupted your mind’s map of the small town. The panic that is rushing through your veins doesn’t help at all.

Where is the closest business or building that I can go to? You think.  

Come on! think, Y/N, think!

I am on the edge of the woods. I’ve been running north since I left Derek.

Where am I?

What am I near?

Your heart pounds in your ear. The sounds of your breathing fill the air, and you begin the wonder if whatever is after you can hear it too. You need to think and think quickly.

Deaton.

~~~~~~~

You pound on the door, soaking wet from the rain that at some point began falling. You’re shaking, whether that from fear or the cold, you can’t tell.

Come on, Deaton. Open up, you plead in your mind.

The door opens slowly and you release a breath that you didn’t know you were holding.

“Maison?” The person that opened the door asks. It was definitely not Deaton.

“Scott?” You whisper. Your senses are weaker in your human form and that scares you more than anything. “Can I come in?”

He nods and widens the door for you. Giving him a gentle smile, you step into the veterinarian clinic. You had seen your mother and other alphas coming here so many times. This place, in your mind, had always meant safety. Deaton had probably patched up more of your wounds than you cared to admit.

“What are you doing here?” Scott asks, interrupting your train of thought.

You suddenly become very interested in your hands. “I was scared.”

“Of what?”

“I don’t know.” It was embarrassing to admit. It made you seem weak, and you hated being seen as weak.

“Was it hunters?” He asks, kneeling to be face to face with you. He was kind, you knew that about him already but he surprised you with just how kind he was. He wasn’t treating you like a pathetic child whose afraid of the dark. He actually wants to know what was scaring you.

“I don’t know.”

“Well, I have my mom’s car for the next couple of hours. Do you want me to take you home once I close up?” you nod.

Scott smiles at you before standing up and cleaning up the clinic. You watch him move, watch the way he glides through the room. You had never met someone who was like him or someone you liked as much as you like him. You probably won’t ever.

“Ready to go?”

“Yeah.”

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

9. I Was in a Gang Once

Simon was a pretty inventive liar. It made her second guess some things. “I’m a writer,” he reminded her when she would be impressed with his ability to fabricate alibis (that they never actually used, because Grace had only been on three Date Nights in the past three months). For Simon, that meant trying to have more frequent reasons to be around her. “Samantha misses you.” “Mom wants you to stop by so that she can treat you to lunch.” “It’s Halloween!” She indulged him her time, mostly because she had plenty of it these days. 

Even with the busy work that she threw herself into at the Infinity Foundation, with Xander on the mend and Jalicia on the lamb, Date Nights were going to be slow. She spoke to the children/young adults whose stewards she had yet to catch up with. She still planned to find and deal with any steward who had ever come through the warehouse and harmed one of her friends.

In the meantime, she was once again in the mood to leave the bookstore, because of Simon being a little too… present. The last time that she told him she needed space, he didn’t seem to grasp how crucial it was for him to just leave her alone until she was ready. She knew that if she ever wanted to distance herself from Simon, she would likely need to leave town… That, or Xander would deal with him, and she didn’t believe that Simon required the way Xander dealt with problems. She also didn’t think that Xander needed any additional stress!

Xander wasn’t interested in Simon being involved in their business. Whenever he got out of rehab, Grace had been paying his bills so that he would have HIS home to return to afterwards, on the condition that he wasn’t left alone. It was surprising to her, but Jalicia offered to stay there for a while. She didn’t want to be alone in space that Heath used to fill up so much of, and she believed that if anybody else knew how hard it was without him, it was Xander. So, she moved in as his roommate.

Whenever she wasn’t there, 808 and 1K were available. “This is very unstable,” Xander would say, as he had past relationships with both of them and neither of them were *completely* in his past. He and Alexandria (808) usually hooked back up within days of seeing each other and Sunny… it was complicated. 

Xander would say that “Xandria” was his first love. They were together with no adult supervision through puberty and definitely were the ‘it couple’ of the Apex, back in the day. 

But… Sunny had been around when Xander started to unravel. Sure, he tried to have her close because she reminded him of Grace (and she reminded everyone of Grace at the time, because her entire personality was being Grace’s pupil/clone). 

But, whenever kids were losing faith in Xander as second in command turned leader and the Apex was scattering and 808 had joined another crew. 1K had stayed by his side. “Grace would never leave Xander!” she had been fussing as she tried to help him through his first attempts at quitting/withdrawal. 

“Grace HAS left Xander, Sun. Grace is gone, and try as you might, you just aren’t her,” he’d heard Alexandria say through his trembling and panting. So, Alexandria was his first love, but whenever he thought of Sunny, she felt like his true love... But, leave it to Xander, that wasn’t something he could handle taking care of very much.

It was months before he and Alexandria talked again after she left. He was as happy as a street kid who survived on crime and fought an addiction could be. But, seeing her again, it was an addiction of its own. He’d hurt Sunny. She’d broken things off with him, but stayed for the Apex, which now was so scattered… but one day something amazing happened. 

Grace came back. She looked very different, but they could immediately tell it was Grace. Sunny had been the most happy, filling her in on everything, and whenever Grace saw Xander, she collected him into her arms and said, “I have a place for all of you to live.”

It was at the Infinity Foundation. There were shelters. Xander had flashbacks to the warehouse, even though this place was nice, clean, fresh… you could see both the staff’s faces and they wore name tags with smiles on them. Sunny whispered to Grace about Xander’s battle over the past couple of years, so he was checked into a rehabilitation program. Sunny had shown Grace all of the turfs where Apex kids had scattered to after she left and Xander began falling. 

As many as would come with her did, and the Infinity Foundation was able to help out with so many of their problems. They even formed an Apex Healing group for survivors of the warehouse. Xander settled into a place of his own. Younger kids were given various placements by the state. Some of the kids who weren’t from there had been brought back to their hometowns, some to their parents, some in foster care. Grace made sure that she kept in touch with everyone, just in case they ever needed her to swoop in. 

She wasn’t that capable of taking care of herself, and her parents rarely let her go freely. In a way, she had another steward in her social worker, and another in her nurse. 

After her year long situation from the court case of assault (which initially had been attempted murder) and being declared mentally unfit, she spent half a year in a mental home and another half with a healthcare worker. 

So, when she came back after being missing from the Apex for a year, it was hard for some of the kids to handle. But, those that came with her the first time began coming back for others. Eventually, after maybe a year or so, Grace, Xander, Alexandria, Sunny, Heath, and Jalicia had collected almost all of their living members and gotten them back to the Infinity Foundation. 

Some had not survived the years. Some had not survived Grace’s departure. Grace had nightmares every night in the beginning. She would see herself swinging the bat, hear herself grunting with each swing, hear the maniacal laugh that she let out whenever the police grabbed her and one of them said, “I think she’s dead.” She would remember Hazel. She would remember Todd.

Her brain tied the two of them together, even though she never saw them together. But, whenever she saw them dying, it was always that same shredding heat of immeasurable pain. No deaths had bothered her like theirs had. Maybe that was why whenever she saw Todd’s body fall, she saw Hazel’s... every time...

Whenever Todd was little, Grace took care of him. Whenever they fled the warehouse, Grace lost track of him. It took her a few months to find him and he was in the “care” of a steward. She thought about freeing him a few times, but Todd was 4. The logistics of taking him quietly, unnoticed long enough to get out and then being able to keep him safe were… shaky at best. So… She… left him. 

He seemed to not even know the difference between where he was - in this abandoned house, and the warehouse. The main difference was that he missed her. She would visit him and bring him food and gifts. She stayed until he finished eating, but every time she came around, gifts would be missing, or he’d have bruises. “Why don’t you just take me with you?” He would wonder, by the time he turned 6. 

14 Year old Grace was rising in popularity on the streets and the Apex had become notorious. Todd was… She cringed every time she thought back to her 14 year old self… Todd was a liability. Jalicia at 5 was already hard to handle, and she often had to leave her with Heath - who was only 8 and not at all capable of having 2 kids in his care... and Todd had never been as independent as Jalicia. He would slow them down and quite possibly get them caught. He just had to hang tight. She wouldn’t leave him here. She’d come back for him and he’d be with them. She just needed more time. 

16 year old Grace tried to take him in, but he was a little bit hardened, a lot less trusting of her. He clearly still loved her, as he would always be happy to see her and would hug her and kiss her and sometimes even rush off with her. But, he had a good situation where he was and he didn’t seem to believe that he would have a better one with Grace.  IF ONLY HE HAD TRUSTED HER… Waited just a little bit longer… If only she had been a better guardian, taken him with her in the first place, or at least whenever she came to find out where he was and that he was alright. If only she hadn’t seen him as a liability before. 

By the time he was ready to come with almost 18 year old Grace, his steward was not letting that happen. He found out that Todd was going to try to sneak away to be with Grace, followed him to where they would meet, put him on his knees and shot him in the face right as she arrived. Jalicia and Heath were with her. They didn’t own guns at the time, and after that, Grace never wanted to deal with them. She hated guns. Maybe because she would always think of Todd’s shattered face, the loudness of it as she ran as fast as she could, screaming “NO!” The way that she collected the boy into her arms, wailing while his murderer ran off and got away. He was an adult. He had some money. He was able to pick up and leave without repercussions. 

Todd had a family out there. She saw them whenever they came to identify the body. They said that they didn’t know. That he looked like he might be theirs, but it had been 8 years and they just didn’t know, and she knew that they probably also didn’t want to believe… Grace had tucked his giraffe beanie into his pocket - something she had held on to for those years, afraid that he might lose it. They recognized that. They fell apart.

She was numb. She was ready to set 808 loose and let her burn that house down… Then, she met Hazel. Hazel was new to that house. She had never seen her before. She was 6 and a half. She was cute and friendly. She had no idea what was in store for her and Grace wasn’t about to let her know. So, she took her, rushed a bunch of the kids out and let 808 do what she loved to do. That motherfucker may have gotten away, but if he ever wanted to come back, his kids wouldn’t be there, neither would that house.

Taking care of Hazel was sort of a coping mechanism for Grace. She didn’t know it. Nobody really got it, but she fell in love with this child very quickly and spent weeks taking care of her. 

Maybe they all did what she was doing… latched on to this new, cute, innocent kid to try to help and mold because they had let Todd down. “We all failed Todd,” was the most Xander had said in response to her crying about failing him. They didn’t want to fail Hazel too. 

Hazel belonged to an old thug they called Tuba, but the last anybody heard, she had been taken to the pen. Hazel wandered off from Tuba’s Kids afterwards, because she was small and they were mean. Tuba was a lot of things, but word on the street was that she took care of her kids. Without her, that hotheaded demon, Bugle got a little big for her britches. She sent reps to Grace, demanding her sister back. The fact that this monster could call Hazel her sister and then do what she did to her…

Grace woke up wailing. Simon jumped and paused his video game. “Hazel! Hazel!” She was screaming. Simon placed his hand on her shoulders and she took a swing right for his face. He leaned back enough to miss full impact, but she did clip his chin. Then she hissed and looked at her hand, now fully awake. “I’m… sorry… Are you okay?” She asked, wiping her face and trying to slow her heartbeat. He rubbed his chin and nodded. “I’ll… go,” she whimpered, embarrassed that he had seen her like this. She was only supposed to be taking a nap, as she had gotten beat up pretty badly earlier. Some people don’t go down as easy with tranquilizers...

“Hey…” He caught her wrist gently and pulled her back to sit on the bed. “Do you want to talk about it? You were calling your turtle’s name.”

“She’s um. She’s named after someone. Can I get some water?”

“Of course. I’ll be right back… You’re not gonna leave when I get up, right?”

She smiled bashfully. It would not be the first time she just decided to take off and text Simon on her way halfway down the road. She shrugged her shoulders. It was almost morning, now. He came back with water with easy ice and a couple of orange wedges, which was how she usually had her water, but she couldn’t recall telling him that. She internally groaned, wondering if she had ordered water on any of their dates, but it had been a while since they went out and she had been through a lot lately… She couldn’t remember if he had just been observant or if he had been watching her one day. She didn’t know if she even cared anymore. As long as he didn’t see her on Date Nights. And she knew that he didn’t, because she generally came over afterwards. Tonight’s had been hard.

She had caught up with one of Tuba’s Kids. Not the one that she got arrested over. Word was that she could barely function. Needed to move in with her Granny and be nursed, for the rest of her life. Grace didn’t need to do more damage, but she still felt like that was too good for that bitch. She gulped the water down and chewed on the orange. “Want more?” She shook her head. “Want to talk about Hazel?”

She sighed. “Hazel was… a friend. Sort of. She was more like a little sister. Well… she was…” She tried to think of some type of way to speak in codes about this, but she couldn’t. So, she simply said, “I was in a gang once.” Simon’s face flickered something. It was like excitement, but she wanted to read it as shock, so she did. Honestly, he hadn’t thought she would tell him that. But, she tried to explain, “It wasn’t my fault! I mean… I was targeted and taken in… I wasn’t a bad kid…”

“I wasn’t judging you,” he said softly, and took her glass, to set it aside and hold her hands. 

“We were all homeless. Those of us who found places to crash were either spaces that were within our territory or abandoned places. My friends and I relocated from a warehouse to one of those abandoned trains. We would you know, steal and stuff to survive, sometimes sell things… Hazel was a street kid from another gang, but I took her in and… well… the other gang got mad about it. One of them hunted her down and napped her from us, but whenever we caught up with them, I told her to let Hazel go… and she did. She let go of her… right… righ…” She reached for the glass again but it was empty. She choked out the words, staring into the glass, “Right in front of a train…”Not an abandoned one, but a moving one.”

“Oh my God!” Simon said, genuinely not expecting to hear THAT. Had that been in his research? He felt like he would have remembered something like that!

“I didn’t know what to do. I just stood there, crying like a bitch…”

“Grace… A kid was killed by a train. What could you have done?”

“I’ll tell you what I did next… She thought that she was gonna get away from me. I knew where they stayed. I knew their territory. I didn’t have bad blood with Tuba. We just did our own things, in our own spaces. But, I did go into her space to get that bitch. I dragged her out into the street and I beat that bitch with a bat. I don’t know if the police were passing by or if somebody called and they happened to be nearby. I heard my crew calling my name and telling me to come on, but… I couldn’t! She was still moving! Hazel was gone, but here was this bitch, still moving! So I just kept swinging and when she stopped moving, I kept swinging. I kept swinging until the police pulled me off of her.” She started crying, “Can I have some more water?” He took the glass in one hand and took her hand in another. 

He didn’t believe that she wasn’t going to rush away the moment she had a chance to consider that she had just told him this. So, he walked her into the kitchen with him and sat her at the island. She seemed okay… As okay as somebody could be after something like that…

Whenever she accepted the second glass, she noted, “You didn’t even flinch. I told you that I tried to kill someone, and you just… listened.” There was a suspicious air to her comment. 

“I don’t know how anyone else might react, but I’d like to think that if some danger came to somebody that I love that I would do whatever I could to keep them safe.”

“Yeah… but… I had already failed at that. Nobody was in danger when I went after her.”

“She was,” he said. To which Grace gasped at first, then began cackling with her head thrown back. She nursed her water a little longer and set the glass down. She looked at Simon, reached out slowly towards his face and he leaned closer so she could cup it. When her skin touched his, she pulled him in and kissed him. 

Simon’s arms wrapped around her waist, tenderly at first, a little firmer when she wrapped her legs around him. He collected her and she laid on his shoulder. “I just want to be held,” She whispered, almost desperately.

“I told you… whatever you need.” Maybe, Simon wasn’t “too” present. Maybe, she needed somebody this close.

10. X Confirmed

[teaspacebar]

far too young to die (10/11)

a/n: a three month hiatus and i am finally back to finish this series before the new year! that’s right, a double feature folks. i just need to revise the last part and it shall be out before midnight. thank you to those who have stuck with me and followed me in the process of me working my shit out. i have some marvel fics in the works because it has plaguing my mind recently, so get ready for a fandom switch (that doesn’t mean i won’t still write for stranger things, but i’d rather write quality fics that i am passionate about rather than just stick with one thing). i hope you all enjoy the end of this series.

taglist: @ashtounding @orchideax, @asheseiler @steve-harrington-said-gay-rights @kake-babe @sweetpeabellamyblakedracomalfoy

relationship: steve harrington x reader

word count: 1k+

summary: you just wanted to keep your job at the starcourt mall movie theater. all you had to do was find out how these kids were sneaking into the movies without coming in the front door. your small little movie theater conspiracy ends up pulling you into something a lot bigger, and a lot scarier.

previous part / series masterlist

chapter ten: falling into you

Sooner felt a lot like later.

Everything had happened so quick you weren’t sure how much time had passed. You were almost killed by Russians…again. You had met the reset of the crew that had been through all the other weird shit that happened in Hawkins (which included a girl with superpowers, her entourage – which just happened to be the kids Steve sninto your work, the Chief of Police, some other adults, Jonathan, and Nancy Wheeler). You weren’t expecting Nancy and Jonathan to be included, but their siblings were involved so you guessed it made sense. After the plan was made – which you and Robin sat back to watch as the newbies of the group – you were all put into groups.

The “Scoops Troop” – as Dustin was calling it – had decided to leave and go to Cerebro. You, Robin, and Steve all decided to go back to help get the Griswold Family after Dustin had received their message.

After that is where things get a little fuzzy. It was probably from the minor concussion you got after Steve decided to collide the car you were all in with Billy’s.

You knew that you ended up running from the big ass gooey monster. You had sat in the back of Jonathan’s car with Robin and Steve, your hand in his. You all ended up going back to the mall once the monster had turned around. There were fireworks involved…lots of noise.

Billy Hargrove died. You were sure that his body being mangled would fuel your nightmares for the next couple of months at least. He had been an asshole, sure, but nobody deserved to die like that.

You were sitting on the back of a truck with a blanket wrapped around your shoulders. The medical officers had given you some medicine for you concussion and said to have someone watch you for the next couple of days, and left you to stare at the ground while you swung your legs back and forth.

“Hey.” The familiar voice made you look up, eyes squinting from the harsh overhead lights. You could make out Steve’s form as he came and sat by you, “You holding up okay?”

Something that sounded like a snort escaped you, “All things considered, I’m peachy.” Being in his presence helped immensely, but you wouldn’t tell him that. “I just want to sleep, but the men with the medical degrees say I need someone to wake me up every couple of hours to make sure I’m not dead. Concussions are fun.”

Steve chuckled, “Remember that time you got one after falling out of your maple tree?” He was bringing up old memories to distract you…and possibly himself, but you didn’t mind.

“Hey, I had to prove I could climb higher than you, asshole.”

“Turns out you can fall better than I can too.” At his grin, you nudged his shoulder with yours, giving him a playful glare. His expression once again turned serious – as it had throughout this entire endeavor – and he grabbed your hand gently, “I really am sorry for dragging you into this.”

You sighed, playing with his fingers as you leaned into his side, “I threw myself into the situation, so it’s not all your fault.”

“All?”

“Oh, I mean you were the one letting kids into the theater, which prompted my whole secret mission.” You laughed, but the pounding in your head made your laughter turn into a groan. “Dude, I just want to sleep.”

“You need a ride home?”

Ah. Home. A funny word. How to explain to the guy who your mother used to dote on whenever he came over had changed so much you barely recognized her anymore. That she made your house merely a space to sleep. That the reason you worked at the theater so much was to pay bills and get the hell out of that house.

“My mom is probably passed out or sleeping at some other guys’ house. I thought I could have Robin over or something.” There. That would do it.

Steve didn’t respond for a moment, and you were worried that this was the moment he’d leave once again. Yet all he said was, “You two could come stay at mine if you want. My parents are out of town as usual.”

That first sentence was all it took for the dam to break behind your eyes. You covered your face with the one hand you had free, embarrassed that you couldn’t at least hold it together for the rest of the evening. You hadn’t lost anyone. You hadn’t been drugged. The only thing that happened to you was a dumbass concussion. Breaking down in front of military officials and a group of kids didn’t seem like the type of thing to do. Arms wrapped around you and without thinking you buried your face into Steve’s chest.

“I’m sorry, I can take you home, you don’t have to come over.” Steve was mumbling the words into your hair, trying to give you a sense of comfort. Laughter left your lips, tears still streaming from your eyes. “Do I need to get someone else? I’m not the best at this sort of thing.”

You pulled away from his chest, wiping your eyes before swatting at him, “You’re being nice, douchebag!”

His head tilted to the side, making him look like a puppy, and your heart melted just a little bit more, “So I’m being a douchebag by being nice?”

“No, Harrington, I’m using douchebag as a term of endearment.”

“So, is that a yes?”

You gave Steve a small smile, “Scoops Troop Sleepover? I’m in.”

A grin appeared on the lips that you definitely did not want to kiss. “I’ll go talk to Robin, be back in a second.” He went to hop off the back of the truck, but your hand tugging on his stopped him.

“Thanks, Steve.” You gave him a kiss on the cheek, feeling warmth rush to your face. Steve sat there looking dazed, before shaking his head and hopping to the ground. “Go get our lady, I’m in need of my two best sailors.”

[officialthiamlibrary]

Are tere any fics where one or both of them become an alpha?

Divided the list for your convenience in Alpha!Liam and Alpha!Theo. 😊

Liam

It wasn't your fault by @tabbytabbytabby

When Liam gets hurt during a fight, Theo blames himself and tries to leave. Liam is quick to remind him that what happened wasn't his fault.

[TeenUp / 1.5k / complete]

Finding my way to you by @formerprincess

Theo and his twin brother Mike are on the run and never settle down. They are not made for settling down, not with their past. But an encounter with a small pack changes their way of thinking. And maybe, just maybe, the twins can finally find a place to call home and people to love. Or is their past too much of a burden and can't be overcome?

[TeenUp / 3.9k / wip]

Heartlines by @breakerofreality

When a witch tries to attack Liam, Theo pushes him out of the way. Now, Theo is in a coma, feeling the reality of what he desires, he has everything he wanted friends, his family, his own family with a husband, Liam. The puppy pack brings him to Deaton, who is the only one who knows what to do. But what's the catch?

[TeenUp / 7k / wip]

Lean on me by @tabbytabbytabby

Liam feels pressured to step up as stand-in-alpha now that Scott and the older pack is at uni, but ends up stretching himself way too far and majorly over-exerting himself, to the point where it starts affecting his health—enter concerned Theo, stage left.

[Explicit / 103k / complete]

All I need is your lips on mine by @malec_life979

Both Liam and Theo know how they feel about each other but have pushed it to the side because of everything that had been happening.

So, Theo of course would die for Liam ...

[TeenUp / 5.1k / wip]

Learn to Love by @flyrobinfly

Theo and Liam have to work things out before the new alpha of Beacon Hills arrives.

[TeenUp / 2.7 / complete]

A tale written with fangs and claws by @formerprincess

This is a story of a spark getting ignited when nobody thought it would happen. A story about friendship, trust and yes, also about love. About finding your place in the world and figuring out who you really are.

This is the story of how Liam Dunbar became an Alpha and got a mate and a whole pack to call his own. This is the story of the Morning Dew Pack.

[TeenUp / 459k / wip]

Teen Wolf || Next Generation by @dan13la-blog-blog

Two months have passed since the defeat of the Anuk-ite and the retreat of the hunters led by Monroe. Scott, Stiles, Lydia and Malia left for college, and now it's up to Liam protect Beacon Hills. But Liam is not alone. It is not a true alpha yet, but he already has his own pack. He has Mason. He has Corey. He has Nolan. He has Alec, the omega that Scott has saved from Monroe a few weeks before. And then ... he has Theo. But meanwhile the pack pray to be able to get to the diploma peacefully, on the other hand they know that the balance is about to turn back towards the worst. And it's not just about hunters. Another dark threat is about to fall on Beacon Hills...

[TeenUp / 131k / complete]

A bargain of bloods and tears by @friendlysociopath

“You did die for me.”

[Mature / 1k / complete]

Teddy by @flyrobinfly

“How can I help you today?”

The whole time he was in line, the man had been glued to his phone, probably reading something important or something that was inducing stress if the lines on his forehead were anything to go by. “Uh. I’ll have a chai tea.”

Teddy rolled his eyes and scoffed. He’d waited just so he could talk to the guy and he didn’t even bother looking up. “Never took you for a tea-guy, Liam.”

That seemed to get his attention. Liam looked up and straight at him, shocked. “Theo,” he said, a little speechless, a little breathless.

[Mature / 3.7k / complete]

Supernova (Dying Star) by @GodricSalzaar16

A year after the older members of the pack left Beacon Hills, Liam and his friends have been taking care of things. But when a new enemy comes to stir up trouble, they'll need more than Scott to fight them off.

To protect Liam, Theo plays a dangerous game that could potentially cost him his second chance. But he'll do anything to protect his new friends - even if it means making them think he's gone back to his old ways.

[Mature / 25.3k / wip]

The mountain and the wolf by @glitter-cake20

Aka the famous Desolate plus Epilogue

Liam involuntarily becomes an Alpha. He refuses accept the new wolf and instead runs away, leaving Beacon Hills behind, and takes to a small cabin in the Colorado mountains for refuge, mostly from himself. He subdues the alpha wolf in him... Until one day when he has absolutely no choice but to let it out.

[Mature / 65.9k / wip]

Sculpture in briefs by @saawinchester

Liam’s parents left him the house and very little cash before they scurried away to go live their life of adventure. Forced to be independent too soon, Liam had to look for a means to pay the bills, keep himself in school and put food on his table.

That leads to him displaying his body for people to drool or ogle at while he swerves to the music and for the right price- get to touch.

Of course none of his schoolmates and pack members know about his late night activities.

Enter the ever inquisitive Theo Raeken who comes into the picture with his flirty smirk, stupid perfect hair and hypnotic hazel eyes.

[Explicit / 20.5k / complete]

Second in command by @volsungar-the-mighty

Theo and Liam are having an excellent morning, until they get a call from Scott. Things... go down hill from there.

[TeenUp / 3.2k / complete]

Happily Ever After by @extrasteps

Theo buys a Happy Ending potion. It gives him a 24 hour glimpse of everything he’s ever wanted. Except… some of those things surprise him.

[Explicit / 5k / complete]

Just a dream @kathendale

Liam realizes, it was only just a dream....

[TeenUp / 1.2k / complete]

Responsible by @volsungar-the-mighty

Hayden shows up one day out of the blue, with news that Liam is a father, before dumping the baby on him and leaving. It's up to him to be responsible now.

[Gen / 5.7k / complete]

Theo

Sparks and Embers by @wolfenboyb

Liam has trained all his life to be an emissary, only to find out the spark of power within is too dim to help anyone, let alone a pack of werewolves. Theo is a reluctant alpha on the run from hunters and his past. When they meet the beginning of something new takes form.

[Gen / 3.3k / complete]

Power by @liamschimera

“No, you look at me.” Theo snarled, sitting up as best he could as tears fell down his face now. “You watch me bleed out, you watch me die. You spineless fucking coward.”

[Explicit / 981 / complete] dark

Luftschloss by @ofhamartia

As Liam tries to adapt to being a werewolf and his role as Scott's beta he finds himself attracted to his Alpha, it isn't until they both discover that their Alpha/Beta bond is being affected and they decide is best to keep their feelings at bay. Time goes by and Liam meets Theo, Scott's 4th grade ex-friend who's returned to Beacon Hills as an Alpha. Things get tense when Theo lures Liam into becoming his beta despite Liam still being fond of Scott.

Scott and Theo need to work out a solution before there's a mutual destruction for both Alphas.

[TeenUp / 904 / wip] Scott/Liam/Theo

Be careful what you wish for by @manonisamelon

Back before he was sent to the ground all Theo ever wished for was power, to be an alpha, to have a pack. Now he knows better, knows that power isn’t as easy as it seems. All he wants now is to try and stay alive, try to be good enough to one day be part of the pack and protect the beta with anger issue. During a fight with an alpha gone feral Theo is given power he doesn’t want anymore. Now he has to learn to live with what he had wished for so long ago.

[Mature / 46.6k / wip]

Deal with the devil by @sharkycannotwrite

Theo Raeken’s family was murdered when he was 10, and the wolves that did it took him in. He did everything possible to survive until he was stronger, faster, and deadlier than any of them. He finally gets the chance he has been waiting 9 years for and escapes. He ends up severely wounded however, only to be found by IED plagued runaway Liam Dunbar. The 17-year-old becomes both the bane of Theo’s existence, and his best friend. The two crisscross the country, killing with no discernible pattern and doing anything they must to survive. 

[TeenUp / 33.8k / complete]

[seenashwrite]

The Fall ‘18/Winter ‘19 Edition of…

It’s a better-late-than-never situation, but it’s finally here!

*~* New to The Nail? *~*

The Nail isn’t about perfection. It isn’t about award-level contenders. It isn’t for highlighting certain genres of fics or specific ships. It’s about seeing real effort and hard work radiate off of the screen - the sole focus is quality. Character dimension. Writing with clever readers in mind. Well-built worlds. Killer starts and clutch endings. Crazy crisp dialogue. Incredibly tight plotting. More shows, less tells. Big emotion.

Find past editions HERE. Find what factors are considered when constructing this rec list, and learn how to get your recommendations to me HERE. Find info on the structure of these rec posts HERE, with answers to FAQs such as “Why did someone make up a title for my piece?”, and more.

>> The Basics On What’s Below <<

- All from the world of SPN (unless otherwise noted, i.e. cross-overs), across all genres; these are organized by length for the most part, so you’ll need to click thru to see if it is a theme of your preference; I aim to not have too much that’s of the same genre/length in a given edition, and limit the times a writer can appear on a given list (if they had more that fit the bill, I’ll chuck ‘em to next edition’s list); when applicable, unique projects, original stories, and any anecdotes/personal essays/family stories/etc. are near the end.

- You’ll see icons throughout…

If it has NSFW elements / walks an NSFW line - ⚠️

If it features / blatantly alludes to a specific ship - 🚢

If it has less than 100 notes (at time of this post) - 📌

And that last item is very important.

- A main priority of The Nail is to have at least 50% of these one-and-done SPN stories (so, drabbles and one-shots) be those which have less than 100 notes (give or take a few self-reblogs by the writer, and not counting mine) in each posting, and for this edition, out of 36, these comprise 26 so the goal was met!

Highly encourage you to at minimum hit the heart, ideally reblogging along with a note of feedback if you enjoyed. To do my part, I’ll be queuing these low-note fics one per day after this edition is published.

- Reblog of this rec list by “big blogs” (let’s say 1K followers and up) is especially appreciated, and not for my sake; it’s to get these wonderful writers with low note fics as much exposure as possible.

- Writers, make sure you scroll - you may be on here more than once!

- “Notes from Nash" at the very bottom of the post.

- For your mobile convenience, here’s The Nail Master Post of Editions

- And finally, shameless plugs....

 See Nash Write: Master List

You Totally Made That Up podcast - @youtotallymadethatup

Note: Just a line or two excerpt to paint a little picture - no specific feedback on these drabbles because each writer nailed it in the entirety - all are poignant, well-structured, thoughtful, and they did it all in a limited amount of words. Well done, all of you. 

181 words

The Wishes 📌  -  @sixtysevenandwhiskey 

It’s a lot of nothing, until nothing is all there is.

.

182 words

Stars 📌  -  @covered-byroses

She loved looking at the stars.

.

223 words

Storytelling 📌  -  @always-keep-writing

He shouldn’t be surprised that it ends up being a story.

.

230 words

A Long Forty Years  -  @babybluecas

Sometimes, he’d wish he was so much older.

.

352 words

Control 📌 -  @idreamofhazel

If only Dean knew the other, more biting things he holds under his tongue.

.

370 words

His Hair 📌 🚢  -  @gabrielfallstonight  

He often wondered if, by spending as much time on Earth as he did, he was growing almost human.

.

427 words

Topper  -  @alleiradayne  

Coffee. He just needed a cup. Or four. Okay, maybe the whole pot.

.

483 words

Tedium 📌  -  @smi727  

This situation was something Michael simply could not abide.

555 words

Kids These Days 📌  -  @revwinchester  

A little behind-the-scenes interlude wherein Dean has an interaction with some kids in town. In medias res, OCs developed in a short amount of space, thoughtful/nice message without being preachy.

.

560 words

Four Months Expired (But Still Good) 📌 🚢  -  @bendingsignpost

A delightful scene based on a premise that could've gone saccharine but stays the just right amount of sweet and humorous.

(I cannot tag this lovely, if someone would be so kind as to try to do so in the comments, it would be appreciated!)

.

570 words

Black 📌 - @sculptorofbeginningslibrary  

An introspective look at Dean in the time between waking up with his demonized soul and when he left the bunker; doesn't merely recap what we know; nice take on the physical changes; excellent characterization.

.

633 words

Smoked  -  @ameliacareful

A snicker-worthy tale of what should be an ordinary shopping trip, but as we know nothing can ever be simple for the brothers; well-structured, solid characterization, concise  descriptions that put you right there with them.

(I cannot tag this lovely, if someone would be so kind as to try to do so in the comments, it would be appreciated!)

.

664 words

Last Night  -  @atwistoffate

A brief interaction between you and Dean that is a perfect balance of snarky and cute, and (thank Chuck) Dean is portrayed realistically, and I personally salute the writer for not uttering a single Y/N or sweetheart (it can be done, folks). I'd also be remiss not to highlight this beauty: “You know what? I don’t even care,” Dean says, caring deeply.

.

714 words

Stay  -  @there-must-be-a-lock

Absolutely beautiful moment between you and Sam that doesn't get weighed down by over-dramatic pining, in part thanks to a sandwich. In medias res; descriptions that paint the picture without diving too deep; lovely from beginning to end.  

.

812 words

Carolina 📌  -  @atc74

A first-person, introspective tale of an interaction Dean has with a stranger. In medias res; sets the stage from the opening paragraph, putting you right into Dean's shoes; well-developed OC in short amount of time; great closing lines.

.

841 words

Strange Gifts 📌 -  @lastactiontricia  

Michael gives you the "gift" of knowing your potential fates. In medias res; great structure/descriptions that convey the mood without being belabored; clutch open-ended ending.  

1.1K words

Syruped and Feathered 📌 -  @mrswhozeewhatsis

A snicker-worthy on-the-hunt tale where you and the Winchesters get in a... well... a sticky situation. Ahem. Sorry, couldn't resist. Oh, and there's a surprise guest star that'll make you grin. In medias res, nice flow, creative use of prompts.

.

1.2K words

Don't Panic 📌  -  @koedeza

Beautifully written, somber tale about what eventually happens in the lives of hunters. In medias res, excellent structure/flow, fantastic characterization, clutch ending. Keep an eye out for this writer - they are consistently solid and do not disappoint.

.

1.3K words

'Til It All Falls Apart 📌  -  @lipstickandwhiskey

Angst done right in this story about what Dean might've gone through after Michael was cast out. Good flow, no laborious explanations of what we already know, reasonable actions/reactions from all.

.

1.4K words

Bite Me, BitFit 📌  -  @shy-violet-soul

Exactly what you think from the title - a funny story about Dean's battle with healthy living. In medias res, nice structure, great characterization, several killer lines.

.

1.4K words

Eggshells 📌  -  @hunenka

A coda to Nightmare Logic, this tackles Dean's internal processing of life as he now knows it, Sam in charge and what feels like a million people in his home. Beautifully written, Dean is as accurate as it gets, excellent flow, plausible scenario.

.

1.7K words

Told You So   -  @there-must-be-a-lock

How to do hot and sultry without smut - read and learn. This is a story about what should have been just an ordinary post-hunt night back at the bunker, when it turned to something more. Great opening paragraph, easy flow, trifecta of snarky-sweet-sexy.

.

1.8K words

Brother 📌  -  @sixtysevenandwhiskey

An exquisite look - to use the writer's words - at Dean over the years, through Sam's eyes. Excellent structure/verbiage, no unneeded repetition of things we already know, good use of song inspo, plausible within canon, feels genuine throughout.

.

1.8K words

The Lie 📌 -  @sophisticated-angel

Stunning tale (and add this to the pile of "Why the hell doesn't this have more notes?!" stories) about what happens to those who are left behind after a loved one dies - but as always in the Winchester world, nothing can ever be routine. In medias res, creative plotline, moving and heart-grabbing that leaves you with both a sense of rightness and a sense of unease.

.

2.9K words

The Unexpected Guest  -  @crispychrissy 

Per the writer's summary - "A day of researching takes a turn when you see something from your past that leads to some interesting discoveries." But, wait - this is so much more. Pay attention as you read, because the writer has left you clues along the way (starting with the title), and it's done quite deftly. In addition - nice blending of humor and drama, time taken to research the creature featured clearly evident, clutch ending.

.

3K words

Easier To Be Me 📌 -  @alleiradayne

A Sam + Reader story labelled "floof" by the writer, but it's sweet without bending saccharine; in medias res; great opening/closing lines.

[Nominated by @atc74 who said - “So I have read a couple things of hers, this I read a while ago, but it deserves some love, because it is just that good. Hope you like it This was so wonderful. Well written and beautiful."]

.

3.1K words

Teeth 📌   -  @lastactiontricia

Do you want to read something spooky that’s based on a true story, with a fantastic plot that has roots in a true story, which features well-developed characterization/accuracy in characterization, and is - in case I didn’t mention it - based on a true story?!

Read this. Find you a cozy corner, grab the drink of your choice whether it’s bourbon or hot chocolate, wrap up in a blanket, and Read. The. Story. It is unique, it is well-written, quality top to bottom, and it’ll give you the feels, tips to toes. Stop wasting your time on the same ol’, same ol’.

READ THE STORY

(Part of a collection, all are fantastic, so see also: Halloween Horror SPN One Shots Masterlist)

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3.3K words

Lay Me Down 📌  -  @stusbunker

A solid case fic here that balances itself with some cheekiness thrown in amongst the drama (and a bonus for me, not a "Y/N" in sight - it can be done, folks). In medias res, moves at a quick clip, great line here: "The spell spread quickly, like spilled water on a tabletop..."

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4.9K words

Shadow's Edge 📌  -  @saenalife 

A story of what happened one night when a routine retrieval of an item goes sideways. In medias res, excellent opening line/paragraph that perfectly sets the scene/mood (I mean - "Dark seems like too shallow a word for this. It goes beyond the absence of light - more like the light has never existed here at all..." - hello), creative plot, great structure (specifically: flashback/forward done right), and bonus kudos for switching things up with a feature not seen with regularity, that of a gender neutral lead.

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5.6K words

The Wonders of Modern Technology ⚠️ -  @littlegreenplasticsoldier

If you aren’t familiar with Greenie, she’s another one of those rare writers ‘round these parts who gives us consistently solid stories with a unique style that’s all her own, and this one is no exception, a humorous tale of a piece of equipment that doesn’t exactly malfunction, but we’ll just say there’s, ah, user error [wink]. 

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5.7K words

Like Ocean in the Desert 📌⚠️  -  @saenalife

Borrowing the writer's summary - "Baby needs some work before Dean can get back on the road. He went to the salvage yard for parts, but what he found was a human connection." In medias res, well-developed OC, nice premise, great structure/flow.

[Nominated by @littlegreenplasticsoldier who said - "Here’s a prime example of notes misaligning with quality. Pfft. Criminal. This is the third time I’ve read this."]

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6.4K words

The First Bite 📌  -  @shy-violet-soul

A story from the way-back-when, and as for feedback, I’ll let the curator take it away....

[Nom'd by @mrswhozeewhatsis who said - "Confession: I love Weechesters. So, this fic was already up my alley from word one. Add in pie mentioned just in the author’s note, and I was already a happy camper! Imagine my surprise when I was sniffling halfway through because wee!Dean was just killing me! The OCs are very well fleshed out, without being distracting, and the whole story was just so well-written I finished it just wanting to hug everyone. The grammar and other technical stuff was at least flawless enough that I didn’t notice it, and the whole story just unfolded in front of me like a cootie-catcher. I think I’m in love, and I might go read it again, even though I should be writing. *swoon*"]

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6.8K words

Gutted  -  @idreamofhazel

A case fic with some Dean + Reader sweet-n'-sultry on top. Nice opening paragraph that sets the tone, solid characterization, very creative plot/creature featured, excellent structure.

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6.9K words

About Dean's Dreams   ⚠️ -  @fanforfanatic  

This writer has yet to disappoint - and this story is damn near pristine from start to finish. It’s an actual, on god, Dean-in-character dive into the woman of his dreams. Sound fluffy or angsty? Nope. You’re wrong. It isn’t either. What it is, is just right. I’m not telling you any more - when you next have time to sit and read and really absorb an introspective Dean piece, make this your first choice.

Say hello to a new (-ish!) writer, @salt-n-burn-em-all !

Doors 📌

You will not believe this is just her 2nd SPN fanfic - captivating and moving, and even if you're swiping a tear away, I think you'll find yourself with a smile at the last three words.

East of Nowhere ⚠️  -  @thecleverdame 

You and Sam are strangers trapped in a desolate mountain town where you live alone, isolated from the outside world, for five years.

Very creative scenario that takes you on an intimate journey and - most importantly - has quite the satisfying reveal.

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How You and I Will Be  -  @katehuntington  

When a hellhound case in the mountains goes sideways, Dean and you find yourselves trapped in a small cabin, miles from civilization. Rescue is on its way, but will it be in time?

Opening paragraph sets the scene perfectly, you'll find yourself there immediately, and it's a plausible scenario of a hunt gone wrong. (We do love our case fics here at The Nail!)

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If This Is A Dream  🚢 -  @wendibird 

Sam receives a tip about a restless spirit haunting a particular patch of woods in South Carolina - one who has asked for him by name. He must now deal with the thought of putting to rest someone he once cared for, but will things go that simply?

Phenomenal opening line/paragraph that puts you in Sam's headspace from the jump, and boy howdy can we all empathize with him, and it's a plausible scenario, one I personally haven't seen tackled til this.

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Men of Cold Cases  -  @smi727

Sam had uncovered hundreds upon hundreds of cases the Men of Letters had never closed, [and the] idea was to investigate what those stodgy old nerds never got around to. Given the cases were at least 60 years old, the chances that any were still active were slim to none. They should all be milk runs…

Fantastic concept, completely original, and well-written to boot. Bonus? The writer has based the plots on actual cold cases and mysteries, and provides you links to the stories behind the story so you can learn more.

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The Ellison Lane Legacy  -  @sixtysevenandwhiskey 

Sam finds a case. You’re reminded of a past you want to forget.

Cheers for a well-rounded original female character who is tough and vulnerable all at once. Interesting and creative story that's heavy, yes, but thanks to skilled writing the flow keeps it moving vs. getting mired down.

Wrath 📌  -  @waywardjoy

Shakespeare gets a run for his money here with a small fic inspired by some of his words. Beautifully composed, from the title to the usage of the lines, flows like a dream, evokes big emotion, and puts you right there in the action, breathtaking from start to finish.

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The Runaway Vessel 📌  -  @butiaintgonnaloveem 

A creepy re-working of a popular children's story that will stay with you after you read it. Killer first line, clutch ending, and a detailed, stunning piece of artwork to boot from @lostmymuseagain, what a match made in heaven. This one dug deep, and definitely read like a cautionary fairytale about fate and choices that grandparents would tell/read to the children on a dark night around the fire, give ‘em a bit of a chill in spite of it. 

Ring-A-Ling  -  @winchester-writes & @littlegreenplasticsoldier & @mrswhozeewhatsis

To think, it all started with an innocent post about a tiny bell - get ready to laugh.

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Ten Years Gone  -  @cinnamonanddean  

This is a short-and-sweet, most worthy exception to a The Nail rule that no RPF will be on the list, wherein Jensen reflects upon his time on the show.

Carriers  -  @violetwolfraven 

Daddy Loves To Be Murdered   -  @gabesnonnie 

Slay Ride  -  @bendingsignpost 

The Awakening  -  @rmeisel 

The Chosen One  -  @copperbadge 

The Night  -  @later0varies

Bedtime Stories & How Chad Got His Name  -  @lostmymuseagain (also see the artwork related to the Chad story here)

The Author  -  @thebibliosphere

Notes from Nash

The document with my little summaries and personalized feedback for each of these got eaten - basically, I had to re-do the list and time’s been scarce, so forgive me for the lateness.

Also, there was a good handful of stories that disappeared due to what I presume was the purge/people deleting or losing their blogs. I did make effort to check AO3 but I’m afraid some stellar work has been lost for good.

There were a lot of repeat writers and folks I’m friendly with in this edition, more than I typically feature - I strive to highlight mostly lesser known writers and, as noted, mostly fics with <100 notes - but they earned it (and I even chucked a few more from some of these peeps into the folder for the next edition, that’s how hard they’re rockin’ it). That’s why it’s so important y’all let me know about the unsung writers and their undiscovered jewels - submit the story links and your reviews to me (links to your reblogs with your comments is perfectly fine) any ol’ time. 

That’s it! What’re you waiting for??? Get to reading!

[beckzorz]

Not For Sale (one-shot)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader Words: 2201 Summary: Bucky’s visits are more than welcome, but you’ve still got work to do. Warnings: Swears, tension, allusions to sex A/N: Hello hello! This is for @delicatelyherdreams‘s 1k writing challenge! Congrats Elle and thanks for letting me jump in last-minute! I had fun and I hope you do too :3

“Bucky, c’mon…” You dig your fingers into his shoulders as he peppers kisses across your jaw. When he finds the sweet spot by your ear, you can’t help but moan.

“What’s eating you, doll?” Bucky says, still nuzzling your neck. His smirk is clear in his voice.

You nudge him back to arm’s length with a woeful smile. “I’m sorry, but the eight o’clock is coming by soon.”

“Boo,” he says. His nose crinkles. “They can live.”

“They won’t be happy if they think I’m selling to you, too.”

“Oh?” Bucky drags his tongue along his bottom lip. You stare at his mouth a few seconds too long, and he chuckles. You shake your head, clearing it of Bucky as much as you can.

“It’s a long game with these guys. Fury’s been at my back to try and get them pinned down for ages, but they aren’t biting. I gotta keep up appearances if there’s any hope of getting enough dirt on them to take them down.”

Bucky purses his lips. “Who exactly are these people?”

“Oh, the usual.” You jump down from your desk and unhook your keychain from your belt. “Just some criminals.”

But Bucky doesn’t take your brush-off as easily as that. He grabs your arm and searches your face. You try not to roll your eyes.

“Are they dangerous?”

“Bucky, relax. I’ve been working with them for months. They aren’t any more dangerous than anyone else. Besides, I can take care of myself.”

He lets go of your arm. “Never said you couldn’t.”

You can feel Bucky’s eyes burning into you as you unlock some of the drawers lining the walls in your office and pull them open. Guns, ammo, and an assortment of other goodies are lined up on every shelf. You set up a spread in the empty glass-covered cabinet that runs the length of the far wall.

“Why does Fury want these guys so badly?”

You sigh. “I don’t know, Bucky. Why don’t you go and ask him so you’re not still around by the time they show up?”

“Fine,” Bucky huffs. He brushes past you without another word, grabbing his pistols from your desk and stuffing them back into their holsters.

In thirty seconds, he’s gone.

You lean forward against the cabinet and bury your face in your hands with a groan. Bucky’s overprotective nature is charming. Sometimes. He’s saved you from a nasty scrape more than once on the odd mission here and there, but arms dealing is essentially your day job. There’s no reason for him to be so up in arms over a regularly scheduled deal.

A five-minute warning beeps on your phone.

“Shit,” you mutter. You hurry to finish the set-up, making sure there’s a good array of what the customer’s asked for. Pistols, rifles, EMP bombs… And two last-minute impulses. Hopefully they’d pay off.

By the time the one-minute warning beeps, you’re ready. All the drawers are locked, the cabinet is too, and you’re waiting behind your desk with a harlequin romance novel open. A little something to make yourself seem real. And it doesn’t hurt if your mind wanders back to Bucky, and his lips on your skin…

The privacy buzzer rings harshly, stopping your brain in its tracks. Oh well. You can revisit those thoughts later.

You toss your book on your desk and check the security camera. Yep, there’s Roderigo and his backup. You buzz them in and make your way out from behind your desk. In comes Roderigo, a thin middle-aged man holding a brown leather briefcase. A shorter bulky goon settles by the door as Roderigo approaches with a polite smile.

“Good evening, Sister.”

Sister is your alias, and it never fails to make you smile inwardly. You’re no nun. “Hi, Roderigo. How’s it going?”

Roderigo shook his head. “Oh, you know how it is.”

“I surely do. Well, come on over.” You pat the glass countertop as you circle behind it.

Roderigo points to different pieces and inspects them in turn. By the time he’s done with the regular guns, he’s picked out five. You secure them in a case. “Ammo?”

He nods. You pull out two boxes for each gun—his usual—and add them to the case.

“So what are these?” He points to the two guns you’d put down last-minute. You swallow back your excitement. If he takes those, you just might have enough for the feds to put him away.

“XM25 CDTE. Fires grenades. Just thought I’d mix it up a bit.”

“Ah, very nice. I’ll take these two. And that EMP—no, the other one. Yes.”

“Anything else?”

“Do you have more of those EMPs?”

“Not at the moment, but I can get more if you give me seventy-two hours. How many d’you need?”

“Ten.”

“For that, I’ll need a deposit.”

“Of course.”

Roderigo sets his briefcase on the counter. As he counts stacks of bills up, you pull the CDTEs out and add them to his case along with more ammo. The EMP goes in its own box. Roderigo pushes his pile of money over to you. You start counting.

“How’s business?” he asks, tapping his fingers on the glass countertop as he glances around the room.

You furrow your brow to keep counting. “Not bad. The usual. You know how it goes.”

“That I do.” He steps away from the counter. “And what about this one?”

You glance over at Roderigo. Your heart skips a beat. The rifle in his arms isn’t yours.

Shit.

“Um, sorry. That one’s not for sale.”

Roderigo studies the scope, the barrel, the casket magazine. “Oh? This is a real beaut, you know.”

“Oh, I do. It’s just a little treat for myself, that’s all. May I?”

Roderigo raises his eyebrows at your outstretched hand, but after a beat he holds the gun out. You take Bucky’s rifle as nonchalantly as you can and prop it against the wall behind your desk. Shit—you’ve lost count. You force yourself to breathe normally as you recount the money.

“Six more,” you tell him. “Those CDTEs are the good shit.”

Roderigo whistles low, but he passes you another six thousand dollars without complaining. Or haggling. Odd.

You take the money, your hand trembling slightly. You pray he doesn’t notice.

Roderigo’s backup grabs the heavy case with a grunt. He nods at you, the only interaction you’ve had with him. Roderigo reaches out a hand. You swallow and force a smile as you shake it.

“A pleasure doing business with you,” Roderigo says.

“Same to you,” you tell him.

The goon opens the door. Roderigo leaves first, and the goon right behind. When the door finally closes, you run over to it and triple-lock it, your hands shaking worse than ever. You slide to the floor, heart pounding, and pull your phone out of your pocket to text Bucky.

You: You left something behind

Bucky: Yeah, my brain

You: No, your RIFLE

You slam your phone down with a ragged cry. How can he not have realized? Bucky Barnes is supposed to be the best. How can he just leave his signature rifle in your office? Not just leave it, but forget about it!

And who’s at risk now? Certainly not him.

Sure, you’re surrounded by weapons. And you know exactly how to use them. But one woman alone in a room is no match for an angry horde of criminals—and if Roderigo recognized the Winter Soldier’s gun, that’s exactly who will be at your door. There’s no innocent explanation. If they figure it out, your cover is blown.

And then what will Fury say? And who will he blame?

You force yourself to your feet, desperate for a distraction. Bucky’s rifle is still behind your desk, teasing you. You’d never had the chance to study all the modifications he’s made on it. Might as well take the opportunity now.

Well, Roderigo wasn’t wrong. Bucky’s rifle is a real beauty. He keeps it so clean that you can easily tell where you and Roderigo touched it. If you had enough focus, you could pick out which fingerprints belonged to whom. As it is, you just heft it into place against your shoulder and stare through the scope.

A scrape comes at the door.

You wheel around and brace yourself behind your desk with Bucky’s rifle trained at the door as the locks slowly come undone. Is this is? Is Roderigo back with his goon and his guns, his grenade launcher and his EMPs?

You let out a slow breath as the last lock clicks. The door inches open.

“Doll…?”

The rifle clatters against the desk. You stand straight, eyes wide.

“Bucky.”

Bucky slips through and shuts the door behind him, triple-locking it. He turns to you with raised eyebrows, his eyes immediately going to his rifle in your lax hands. “Were you expecting someone else?”

A harsh laugh cuts out of you. You push Bucky’s rifle away and cross your arms. “Just some criminals who realized what the gun you left in my office means.”

His face falls. “Shit,” he says.

“Yeah. Shit is exactly right.”

The two of you stand in silence. After a minute, you look away and start clearing the cabinet. It’s close to ten now—you don’t have any other appointments, and you’re desperate for a good sulk in the privacy of your apartment.

But Bucky has other ideas. He grabs some of the guns and waits by the correct drawers until you unlock them. You do so without a word. How can the guy who remembers your inventory so perfectly be the same one who left his beloved rifle behind?

“I fucked up,” he murmurs as he sets guns down in their spots. You’re only a few feet away, but still he’s almost too quiet to hear. “I’m sorry, doll. You deserve better than that.”

“It’s not about deserve,” you snap. “You put me at risk, Bucky. You’ve saved my ass before, but—” You slam the last box of ammo down. “The only reason your worry earlier was misplaced is because you’re the reason I’m scared.” You swipe at your damp eyes and lock up the last drawer, shoulders quaking. “I don’t want you to be the reason I’m scared, Bucky.”

Bucky’s arms are around you before you can protest. He kisses your hair, his breath warm on your ear. “I’m so sorry,” he says.

You sigh. Despite what he’s done, you don’t pull away. “I know you are.”

Forgiven or not, Bucky is an excellent hugger. His hand rubs reassuring circles on your shoulder blade, and his heartbeat is grounding against your cheek. You don’t hug him back with your usual fervor, though, and there’s still a tension in your posture that you’re sure he won’t miss.

Bucky’s never lied to you before, and he’s not lying now. Still, you’re not quite ready to forgive him. Risks in your line of work are big—bigger for you, in some ways, despite the incredible danger Bucky walks into every day on the job. You have something of a normal life in your off hours, filled with people you care about who don’t have the protections of the Avengers or SHIELD. From what you know, pretty much all of Bucky’s friends are superheroes. You don’t think you could put them at risk if you tried. But he breezily let it happen to you, his not-quite-girlfriend.

What a dick move.

After a minute, Bucky sighs. “You’re still upset.”

Your lips tweak up, and you hum in affirmation. Bucky is quiet again, his arms still around you.

“Please let me make it up to you.”

Your eyes fall on the book on your desk, forgotten since Roderigo walked in. There’s no helping the smirk that spreads hidden on your face, but Bucky pulls back anyway. Maybe he sensed the uptick of your heartbeat.

“What?” he asks.

You tilt your head towards the desk.

“Ah,” he says, reaching automatically for his rifle. Then he catches sight of your book, and he freezes. He raises his eyebrows at you as his hand moves over. You nod. Bucky snags the book and opens to your bookmark. In seconds, his eyebrows go up and a blush tinges his cheeks. You link your hands behind your back with a grin. Bucky slowly puts the book down. He licks his lips and stares at yours.

“Doll…”

“Make-up sex is a time-tested ritual proven to release tension,” you tell him cheerfully. You hop up onto your desk in front of him. His rifle clatters to the ground, ignored. Bucky steps between your legs and runs his hands up your thighs as you loop your arms around his neck.

He swallows as you drag your tongue across your bottom lip. His mouth is plump, pink, and perfect. Heat sizzles through you as Bucky grips your hips. You bury your hands in his hair and pull his face inches from yours.

“It’d be a shame to let all this tension go to waste,” you murmur.

Bucky’s fingers dig so hard into your skin you’re sure there will be marks. But then his lips descend on yours, and you can’t find it in yourself to care.

[my-random-domme-thoughts]

Will Session Prices Go Down?

I felt compelled to write a post today because of a link that has been forwarded to me, of a forum discussion on MaxFisch, and I was asked for my opinion. Since I am not a member on that forum, I will make a post here. The topic of this discussion was whether the BDSM session prices will go down after the quarantine. The link to the discussion forum is below:

http://www.maxfisch.com/thehang/ubbthreads.php/topics/1751558

Here are my 2p about that: 

Whenever I am asked about pricing and pricing strategies, I always make an example of a Prada bag:

Will Prada bags be 50% cheaper after this lockdown? Because, you know, Prada needs to make money... And pay store rents...And, you know, new bag makers are entering the market every day... And, you know, because there will be a recession? Will they be 40% cheaper? 30% cheaper? 

Or will they remain roughly the same price they’ve been for last 50 years, inflation adjusted, and leave the localised market if it becomes not cost-effective? 

Now, my personal prediction is that Prada bags will cost the same they have always cost. But you’d be able to score a bag, capable of carrying things just as much as a Prada bag, in Primark for £1. 

Did the ‘invention’ of Primark make Prada drop their bag prices? Did Primark make Prada go out of business? Lose business? Did Primark steal Prada’s core client base through poaching and undercutting? I think we all know the answer to those questions...

There are Ladies who charge north of £1K per session, and did, are doing, and will do splendidly well while running a waiting list, and there are those who couldn’t find a client for £50 even before SESTA/FOSTA, COVID-19 and the Incoming Recession were in existence. That has always been the case, that will always be the case. There is no judgement being passed about it, this is just the reality of things.

Many answers in the thread seem to have their expectations and estimates based on the perception that all Dommes have just one source of income, are chained to a radiator within their post code, and only ever do RL sessions. Out of the top Dommes that I know, not one has only one stream of income. Most of us have diversified if not into other businesses and investments then within the s3x industry itself, through clips, online sessions or fan sites years and years ago. 

Yes, Domme Business is different to Bag Business. But as it is a BUSINESS there are more similarities than there are differences. And those Dommes who were good at Business and Marketing before quarantine are good at it during and will continue being good at it after quarantine, during recession, after recession and up until their eventual early retirement.

There is also some hope noticeable in the posts that there will be a huge influx of “new dommes” on the market because of unemployment as apparently there is no entry barrier to the industry. I hate to burst the bubble, both for the prospective dommes, and for their prospective clients, but Domination is not the first port of call for the unskilled and the unemployed. Far from it. There was a mention of a surge after 50 Shades of Grey as an example. What the kind gentleman who mentioned it has forgotten is that it was BEFORE SESTA/FOSTA. I myself have started when the only entry requirement for a Pro Domme were 5 pictures and an ability to string three sentences on a BackPage ad. That time, and that site, have long gone the way of the dodo. Seen Bonding? I am still waiting for the “tens of thousands of new dommes” to materialise after that...

To enter the profession now, you need solid knowledge of Business Admin and Marketing, hefty skill set of creating, curating and maintaining a website and all the costs involved in that should own skills be insufficient, heavy advertising costs to place that website on the advertising sites, creating and maintaining highly marketable online content, both free and for paid platforms, maintaining half a dozen of social media profiles on various platforms while constantly dodging censure, shadow banning and downright deletion of accounts, not to mention looking good and well-presented, being confident, and having the necessary toys and/or access to dungeons. And A LOT of hard work. Which, in the time of a recession, will not bear much fruit at all. And no, you do not get a business loan from a bank for this line of work. Most of those who are forced into s3x work by circumstances do not venture into Domination, now even more than before, but stick to traditional fields, where a pink thong and some baby oil will often do the trick.

But what about the Recession, then, and the “shrinking of client base”? Now, that is clearly written by someone who is expecting the middle class to literally die out. I can explain this with a simple chart:

This is how I see the distribution of wealth and income now, and after the Great Quarantine of 2020. The world will indeed become poorer, much like during the Financial Crisis of 2008, through lower middle class and working class sliding down the income ladder.

Those who are wealthy and affluent now are not going to wake up in two weeks and find themselves on the dole, or looking for a job at McDonalds. Why? Because they are usually very highly skilled, high earning individuals and have diversified income, investments, savings, pension funds et al. Yes, their stock portfolio might (and I say might!) take a hit. But it will not suddenly make them destitute. It just means that, for 2020, they might make a bit less money. But, 80% of a million is still 800K, and 80% of a thousand is 800. See the difference?

Now, let’s talk about me, for a minute, and my own business model, pricing strategy, cost control and target market/client base: 

I chose to move to a low income, low cost of living, high quality of life country. By choice, and for those very reasons. But I neither work on the “local market” nor for it! I charge five times what the average price per session is here, and my daily rate is higher than an average national monthly income. Exactly one of my current clients lives in the same country, and he pays me my rate. The rest of my clients are foreign, and either fly in to see me, or fly me out to join them in their endeavors elsewhere, and yes, they all know they can find someone much cheaper. 

But “cheaper” is not what they are after. Those buying Bentleys don’t price in a Seat Leon, just in case. ALL of my current clients are my regular clients, and they bring me much joy even in these dark times! If they enjoy being my subjects even half as much as I enjoy being their Mistress they will remain my clients for years to come. And those who couldn’t afford my rates before the pandemic won’t be able to afford them after. 

But how will the Great Quarantine of 2020 and the Incoming Economic Depression affect me and my business? Let’s see! 

I personally do not know  whether I will be able to see my clients this year, because even if the isolation orders are lifted, no one has cancelled the disease itself. I might get ill. They might get ill. Up until a vaccine or an easy treatment is invented all travel is in a precarious state, as are all sessions. At your own risk, as they say! I’d risk it for my regulars to a degree, but there are limits to everything, and I certainly wouldn’t want them to risk their lives and health for a session.

That said, we do not know what travelling post-quarantine will even look like. If I am required to spend 2 weeks in a lock down every time I have to take an international flight -- I am unlikely to be flying anywhere at all. If it goes back to pre-quarantine simplicity then it is a different story and I will be back to posting my Michelin starred client dinners from different cities in no time. But what if not?

Well, here comes the trick: remember I was talking about the diversified streams of income? While most people were busy with Netflix, I have used my quarantine time in to push for passive income, offering a product that is significantly cheaper than my RL sessions and client fees, but aimed at a much wider target market segment. 

I am proud to say that currently my cost of living gets covered by pure passive income in 20 calendar days. That is, I can fall into a coma for a month, and on day 20 of me being in a coma, all my bills and expenses will be covered, and I will wake up to 10 days of profit to get me to a SPA and treat me to some nice meals and still have some left over. And this is passive income. Online sessions are an entirely different thing, in addition to passive income.

What does that mean? It means that I do not NEED to have another RL session at all, EVER, even at my rate, if I do not wish to. I can retire. And if I cannot travel, I will happily spend my time developing and scaling up my online and passive income sides of business further, while sipping cocktails by the sea, in the safety of my own terrace and avocado tree. 

So when people ask whether sessions will become cheaper after this Quarantine, I just smile. Thing is, you WILL be able get cheaper sessions after this. But you could get them before this, too! There are, there have been, and there will always be cheap providers. Of everything. And if you are into “cheap cheap” you will always be spoiled for choice.

But it won’t come from established and business savvy dominatrices. Top ranks can afford to step away from the RL sessions altogether, for the risks involved, or only see their regular and trusted clients, at same rate or higher. Mid-range and upcoming will be likely to raise rates while diversifying to compensate for potential loss of foot traffic. And the cheaper ones will join the newcomers in the race to the bottom.

You know that saying, if you have to ask how much something costs -- you cannot afford it? :) Still goes! 

[bonkalore]

Alright, I’m gonna be real with you all.... I am broke af rn....

And I need help....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Here’s the short version:

This fund is specifically for Sizecon bc I’ve been going for the past 2 years it’s been active but it’s also a part of my income since it’s the only place I sell stuff at....and I need to start preparing for tickets and such now if I’m planning to go this July 28-29th in NY (tho we’ll likely be staying about a week). 

With the calculated costs of con tickets, plane tickets, hotel room, food & transportation, as well as pet sitting while we’re gone, the total has come up to at least $1,300 needed for the trip.... (some of it was rounded and some I don’t even know for sure so it could end up being more tbh... I wish it wasn’t)    

Our living situation changed in the past year and I've been struggling to make ends meet (esp after our massive vet bills ending in 2 birds passing anyway in Feb)and now have no money I can save for this con at the end of July...

*That's where you guys can help make this hope of mine come true!* (And if I don't make enough for the con, just know all your money will be helping me anyway just to survive!) 

 Any bit helps! ;o;

~*Here’s the funding pool link on my paypal!*~

-And if you want to support but also get something out of it, just a reminder I still have LOTS of prints and merch leftover from last year still as well!-

*Also, if you personally are going to the con yourself and donate $5+ I’ll give you a free print and button of your choice there! ;u; (pls give me your email if you do and relay it to me while there in person so I know who to give the stuff out to!)*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Longer and more painful situation under the cut.....

But tbh, I had been thinking about setting up a donation pool in general with how bad things have been going. I already had patreons and felt hesitant to start one, but with my depression being so bad for so long and unmedicated, I’ve had a hard time keeping up with those and don’t feel I’ve really earned the money till I’ve finished what I owe... And I owe so much now that I can’t even try to take on commissions to make up for it.

I tried getting health insurance a while back to cover behavioral health bc that’s what I needed most to get me to work regularly again... but it turns out all the clinics for that out her suck ass apparently so I’m just wasting all my money and I feel like an idiot and now it’s just another thing to stress over... I feel dumb even admitting/explaining it but $400/mo for health insurance is something I can’t even afford and I need to fix that asap now bc I’m literally running out of money. Not to mention all the vet bills we had back in Feb when Birb’s health declined again and then even the budgie, who we both inevitably had to put down only weeks from each other... I never asked for help then tho I probably should have... We spent over $1k just in that month with trying to help them and then just for paying for euthanization and ashes... Also part of the reason I got so behind on work stuff. I’m still hardly coping (and actually tearing up just writing it out tbh).

Our living situation changed in the past year and I hardly said much online, but it’s just been Zuka and I mostly paying for the house bills since her family went to live in CA in an already furnished house for a year to do a job with someone. They had a good deal and took it, and while I’m glad to finally having the house to ourselves, it’s been hard doing everything and paying on bills more... And I feel horrible I can’t even help support Zuka more and myself bc of my health insurance bill that I couldn’t even use to help solve the real problem: my crippling depression that I’ve been dealing with horrifically already with the past 3 years (technically longer but it’s been so bad to the point where I wish I had disability for it bc I’m not working to make any money and I’ve been living off savings for that long and now I’m running totally dry). I currently have less than $1k in my bank account shared between my checking and savings... I have more in my paypal, but like I said, I don’t even count all of that yet until I finish my work owed in case of needed refunds.... After this next billing coming up in a few days for the end of the month I’m gonna have close to maybe $500 left.... My patreons have helped me survive scraping by just for this long at least but even that isn’t enough right now and things are dire. I’m really feeling fucked rn. Like I said... any bit helps. I could go into it more but honestly it’s just... I don’t wanna bother writing out more pathetic shit about myself and I’m sure nobody wants to bother reading it either and I don’t blame you... I get even more depressed just thinking about it. Everything has just plummeted and I’ve been wanting this year to be better and have been really trying but there’s only so much I can do without the proper care and medication I need.... I feel most of it is my fault and I’m just a useless piece of shit that’s continuing to be a burden but that’s what severe depression does.... It’s been a while since I’ve even wanted to consider suicide, but boy does not existing or being conscious at all sound great...

Please help me if you’re able... I’ve been in a rough spot for a while now... Thanks for bothering reading any of this if you did.

[7fics]

Youngjae fic where he makes a big deal about his coming out. Everyone is scared because it's "super deep" and "life changing" and everyone thinks he's going to die but he's just dramatic af??? And then everyone's like "well yeah, we knew" and YJ is mad bc no one really cared/it was obvious and they ruined his big moment.

Warnings: drama

Word Count: 1k

Author: Chewy

an: this is a hot mess thank you for this absolutely hilarious prompt. jackson pov, hope you don’t mind!

The air is thick with tension. Jackson imagines he could cut it, like a sword through butter. (His inner subconscious tells him that the saying is actually a hot knife through butter, and the saying isn’t actually even supposed to be used in the way Jackson is currently trying to use it. His inner subconscious also sounds like Jinyoung after he’s read too many books and had a couple of drinks, so he shoos it away with a slap to his face)

Smack.

Everybody turns to look at Jackson. Even the tiniest noise will warrant great attention at this moment. “Sorry. I was thinking.”

“Don’t think.” This time, it’s not his inner subconscious Kermit the frog meme, but actual real life serious Jinyoung. Real Jinyoung actually has consequences, unlike inner Jinyoung, so Jackson has to pay attention.

“Sorry. Won’t do it again.”

All heads swivel back to the main event. Youngjae.

Sweet, sweet, innocent Youngjae, who has been the light of all of Got7’s lives since the day JYP added him to their team seven months before debut, is sitting on the couch. The main couch, to be precise. The one that either their managers or JB in leader mode sits on to give serious announcements on serious matters. This is a big deal.

—

It all came to a head that morning, when Youngjae gravely said the words, “I need to tell you guys something.”

In reality, though, it had been brewing for much longer than that. All of the members had been worried because in the past few weeks, Youngjae had been quieter than usual. He’d been “researching” on the internet, talking to himself in his sleep, and just the other day, he forgot to play with Coco. This was truly a serious tragedy. There was no other answer.

When the rest of the members tried to inquire more, Youngjae gave only vague responses.

“What’s going on?” JB demanded, in complete leader mode.

“I can’t tell you right now, but it’s super deep.”

“Are you okay?” Mark asked. Even Mark was actively worried, and not just passively. This just went to show how big of a deal this issue was.

“We’ll talk about it as a group later, but it’s absolutely life changing.” With that, Youngjae left the room.

“Well,” Bambam spoke up. “He said it was life changing, not life ending, so we know it’s not cancer. Wanna make bets? I have ten dollars in cash.”

“BAMBAM!” Literally every single member of Got7, excluding Bambam and Youngjae, yells.

“I guess that’s a no then.”

—

Back at the present moment, Jackson sits uncomfortably squished on the couch between Yugyeom and Jaebum. He looks down to the end where Youngjae sits solemnly.

Despite Bambam’s reassurances, he can’t help but wonder. What if it really is cancer? Or worse? What if… What if… Jackson is having a hard time thinking of anything worse because all the bad plots in the k-dramas that he watches involve cancer. As Jackson’s mind starts to conjure up images of hospitals, his hands start picking more and more aggressively at the rips in his jeans. Jaebum leans over and grabs his hand, holding it still.

“So, Youngjae? Do you want to tell us what this is all about?” Jaebum asks.

Youngjae nods, opens his mouth, closes it, and gulps. Next to him, Jinyoung hands him a bottle of water. Youngjae drinks, opens his mouth, and says, “Thanks, hyung.”

Jackson thinks that at this point, he’s going to explode and die from the anticipation, and that means he won’t be able to bring flowers to Youngjae’s bed as he’s withering away from some undiscovered, incurable illness.

“Just say it!” Mark shouts. Everybody turns and glares. Everybody is both relieved that Mark said what they all wanted to say inside, but everybody is also mad at Mark for shouting at Youngjae. Sweet, sweet, innocent Youngjae, who is loved by all. “Sorry. Please, Youngjae.”

“Okay, sorry hyung.” Youngjae takes a final deep breath, and spits out the words, “I’m super gay.”

“IT’S OKAY YOUNGJAE WE STILL ALL LOVE YOU, AND WE WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER EVEN IF YOU DIE, BUT WE’LL ALSO MAKE SURE TO PAY YOUR MEDICAL BILLS FOR ANY ILLNESS YOU MIGHT HAVE AND I’LL MAKE SURE JINYOUNG DOESN’T WRITE YOUR OBITUARY BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW HE’D PUT IN A SUPER LAME HIPSTER QUOTE, AND ALSO MARK, TOO, BECAUSE HE WOULD WRITE ‘R.I.P.’ AND THAT— wait did you just say you were gay.” Jackson sits back down and opens his eyes. “That is seriously not what I was expecting.”

Jaebum just sighs one of his deep-as-the-Mariana-Trench sighs, and cover’s Jackson’s mouth with his hand. “Youngjae. Did you seriously put us through all of this so that you could tell us you were gay?”

“Well, yeah,” Youngjae says. He’s still looking at Jackson warily.

“Everybody knows you’re gay, Youngjae,” Bambam says. “This is meeting is taking out of my League of Legends playing time. Come on, Yugyeom, leggo!”

“Wait, what?” Youngjae asks, bewildered. “How did you guys already know that I was gay?”

“Because you’re super gay? Jinyoung literally baked a cake last year that said ‘Youngjae is Gay’ because of how gay you were. It had rainbows and unicorns, remember?” Mark says.

“MMmmmpfhhhhfhh,” Jackson agrees, from under Jaebum’s hand.

“What the hell? That’s so not cool! Do you even realize how long I have been planning and researching for this moment? This is ludicrous! Ridiculous! An outrage! And why are you all so automatically accepting, I thought we would have to really fight over this!” Youngjae is panting by the end of his rant. Jaebum has removed his hands from Jackson’s mouth so that he could cover his own ears instead.

“If you’re done ranting, it’s really time for us to get to practice,” Jaebum says.

“Here, baby, how about I bake you another cake?” Jinyoung asks. That, combined with the fact that Youngjae seems to have worn himself out with the shouting, appeases Youngjae enough to agree.

“Well, I’m glad you’re not dying, Youngjae!” Jackson speaks up.

“Thanks, Jackson hyung. Me too.”

[nickelsonbnirmakbf32insuran-blog]

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