#me: i cant put a tampon in

[soullesstomatoes]

smear test was Bad,,,, i wasn’t able to ask for a smaller speculum, it hurt a LOT and now I’m bleeding a ton and feeling dizzy

[petriflor]

vagina hurts

[demonlorddiva]

Obey Me! Brothers When Your On Your Period

Gonna keep the gn for the most part so anyone who gets this can feel included!! We’re all suffering together and I just want comfort 😭✌️p.s this is very me coded and I’m very much a crybaby and overreact to everything when I’m on my period so bare with me. My asks are open so if you want me to delve deeper on certain characters let me know!

Lucifer

Is informed of the menstrual cycle reading up on humans before you came to the devildom… well at least some of them

Makes sure you have the proper supplies you need already stocked in your room

Does NOT understand the emotional part

When Lucifers giving you one of his famous lectures, the pain begins and your just trying to stare at the floor

Lucifer: “are you even listening to me?”

You: “yes”

Lucifer: “I expect more from you as our human exchange student you know?”

At that moment you just put your face in your hands and start sobbing, too overwhelmed with the emotions and the pain

He’s taken aback for sure. He’s always expecting you to get mad at him, talk back, get angry, something other than this

He’s immediately by your side apologizing and making sure your okay

When you explain to him the situation he understands and lets you lay down with no other words

In the future when your on your cycle, he’s very gentle with you

The second he finds out your hurting, he immediately try’s to help in any way he can

Weather it’s getting you painkillers, a heating pad, anything you need

If you need a quiet place to be while your meds kick in he will let you lay down on the couch in his office while he rubs your back

Mammon

Has NO IDEA what a period is

But being your first man he notices the changes in you during that time

In a moment of pain you tell him what’s going on and have to explain to him about it

“Yer bleeding.. and ya do that ONCE A MONTH??? WHY???”

After a while he’s in tune of when it happens (mostly) and what you need

Always keeps pads/tampons on him in case you ask

If your cramping, all bets are off. No one is aloud to bother you or ask you for anything. Your going straight to his room or yours so he can take care of you.

“Leave MC alone! Cant ya see they’re in pain?!?”

If your craving snacks he will raid beels snack stash to get you what you need

Doesn’t mean it but when your upset and not on your period asks “what ya pmsing??”

he just wants to know

He can’t handle it if your emotional tho it gets him worked up too (even tho he tries to hide it)

“Don’t cry ya baby, you’re fine. The great mammons here ya know? It’s okay”

Leviathan

Figured it out through anime (what else is new)

If you tell him he might get a little wiggy and not know what to do

He’s trying his best let him live

Tell him what you need and he will do it for you literally anything

If your in pain he thinks your dying and panics a bit tell him you’ll be okay and you just need comfort

If you come to him teary eyed asking him to hang out he will put on a slice of life anime or something fun and cuddle with you in his bathtub bed

All the plushies and pillows are there so your warm and cozy

Keeps medication in his room on the off chance you need it

Satan

Oh this boy KNOWS about the pms

Read up on every book imaginable

If you get angry or frustrated during this time he completely understands

Your in pain! Who wouldn’t be upset

Definitely wants to fix the situation immediately but that can get overwhelming at times

“What do you need? Medicine? Heating pad? Water? You know you should stay hydrated.”

He’s just trying to help!

But sometimes you just need comfort

When you come to him, you just have to explain that you just need someone to be with you and to relax and it clicks

He will bring you to his room while he lays down and reads with you

If the pain gets to bad he will rub your head or back until you relax more

DEF yells at his brothers if they even think of bothering you

Asmo

I have a HC that asmo knows when your on your cycle before even you do so imma run with that

You don’t understand why he’s being so overly nice to you all of the sudden

He drags you into your room and you don’t get anything until the pain starts

“I just thought you could could use some extra asmo loving right now!”

It seems like he can read your mind on how your feeling

If your aggravated or frustrated he will let you rant and rave

If your sad and crying he will hold you while you let it all out

If your feeling self conscious he will tell you your gorgeous and amazing while he massages your scalp

Self care is in order, even if it’s just a warm bath he prepares for you with all the salts and oils to make you feel so relaxed, you can’t help but feel so cared for

Beel

We love this man but he doesn’t know anything about humans 😭 but he’s so willing to learn if it’s for you

Your pmsing all day at RAD and your very excited to have your snack that you have in the kitchen

After school, you immediately walk into the kitchen to find beel.

You open the cabinet for your snack, finding it gone

“Oh that? Sorry I was hungry”

You immediately start sobbing

He legit doesn’t know what to do

He normally promises to buy you snacks later and you are okay with it

He’s so guilty and so sorry

When you come to your senses and calm down you explain to him what’s going on

Your in pain?? Where does it hurt? How can he help??

Once he gets a grasp on it, every month he’s got you set

All your favorite snacks and sweets are bought for you to enjoy

If you don’t come down for dinner cause your ‘not hungry’ he’s worried

Will figure out your favorite meals you like for this time and make them for you

If you need a cuddle while your in pain he’s so warm and so cozy

Belphegor

He knows about humans and knows about periods but doesn’t know everything

And he’s a little late to the game with you

The other boys have gotten used to how you are during this time of the month and he’s new to it

You two are walking home and he’s upset with you

What could you do? You NEEDED him for a project you were working on for class so you woke him up from his hiding spot to pitch in

And he was upset and ranting

Not knowing the pain and emotional state you were in

You try to hold your tongue for as long as you can as you walk in front of him

Bel: “this is so so stupid, why do I have to do this project anyways?”

You: “I have to do this project too you know? Stop complaining so we can get this over with” you say with an irritated tone, just trying to get home.

Bel: “what, you on your period or something human? Lighten up”

Maybe it was the cramps irritated your body, making your back ache and your head hurt. Or maybe it was the hormones making your emotions run rampant. But you stop in your tracks, making Belphegor stop too

He can’t see your face, but he hears you let a sob out, wiping your eyes before you made a sprint to the house of lamentation 

Belphie doesn’t normally run, but he runs after you, missing you before you run to your room and shut the door behind you

Mammon sees the commotion, and stops him before he can reach your room to ask what happened

When Belphegor tells him, he’s pissed and lets him have it and explains the situation

When he realizes he’s so upset with himself

He shouldn’t have let his frustrations out on you during such a hard time

After a bit in your room, you hear a soft knock at your door

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were hurting”

You spent the rest of the evening cuddling

Finishes his and your part of the project to get some stress off of you

If he felt you twinge with the slightest bit of pain he would hold you that much tighter

After that, if he found out how you were feeling it was immediate nap time, he hates to see you hurting

Will massage your back to get you to fall asleep

Gets a bit too worried when your pain gets too bad and will ask Satan for help if needed

Welp here ya go! Belphegor isn’t even my favorite character and I got SO deep with him so you belphie Stans EAT UP

[kazutora-kurokawa]

Taiju x Sick!Reader Who's Also On Her Period

♡ SFW and NSFW, fem reader, fluff, oral->fem receiving, fingering, blood kink, unprotected sex + creampie, soft!Taiju ♡

note: ngl I wrote this for myself lol, ofc I was gonna share it with y'all tho

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

SFW

🦈 Knew he was gonna have to take extra good care of you when you got sick because your period was right around the corner (he tracks it so he can be prepared)

🦈 Got you pads/tampons, painkillers and cold medicine, all your favorite snacks, and plugged up the heating pad he bought you

🦈 The type of boyfriend to carry you around the house when you're too weak to get up

🦈 Massages every inch of your body, he always knows every spot that hurts

🦈 Kisses you even though he could get sick, this man is not about to give up his kisses just because you got a little cold

🦈 Always knows what you need and when you need it, ask him for something and he's already in front of you with what you need

🦈 Cuddles you and gently puts pressure on your tummy to help with your cramps

NSFW

🦈 Massages and kisses your tits (you can't tell me he doesn't)

🦈 Eats your pussy without hesitation, he'd even let you sit on his face

🦈 Fingers you for hours on end til half his hand is completely covered in your blood and juices and you're begging for him to fuck you

🦈 Extra gentle with you, takes it nice and slow so he can hit all your weak spots

🦈 Grips your tummy with one hand and plays with your clit with the other

🦈 Something about seeing his dick going in and out of your pussy, getting coated in your blood, turns him on real bad

🦈 Creampies you because he knows how bad you need want him to fill you up

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

Taglist

@arlerts-angel @i-literally-cant-with-this @trevengersprincess @giugiette @katshimizuu @happy-trenchcoated-impala @rinshawty @drunkcheesecake @darkstarlight82 @reiners-milkbiddies

[ghoultrifle]

hello mr trans ghouls i am having thoughts and also coping with my period and cramps

cw for menstruation and cramps. also penetration in form of menstrual products

to me phantom and rain both have the worst cramps. rain gets really really bad cramps on the first day but then it gets a lot less bad after the first day, but first day they cannot put anything in there on that first day. makes the cramps so much worse (like collapsing onto self in painthe time they tried to use a menstrual cup on the first day) phantom has less bad cramps on the pain scale but has them for the entire time their period is happening. they also cant put anything up there at all during it, they are a pad user through and through.

hello there trans ghoul anon <3 have a little ramble on me :))

cw for menstruation, blood, cramps

i agree with you so hard on all of this !! name an internal product, and rain's tried it. every single time they end up in a bloody mess on the bathroom floor, crying out for ant to come and save them (they know any ghoul would help but have convinced themselves that only phantom understands their struggle and wouldn't think they're gross). ant will come running every time, soft towels and heat packs in hand. they clean rain up so gently, working with their body, not against it; carefully letting rain move their weight so phantom can clean them up properly.

once they're all clean and sat back on the toilet, ant runs to get a pair of period boxers so they don't have to deal with changing pads as often and to alleviate their dysphoria just a bit. it works for rain because that ghoul will be found curled up on their side and they need that all-round coverage that's oh-so-soft too.

phantom pad user is so real and valid. they once asked aether to quintessence them the fuck up and stick a tampon in there but the resulting cramps were so bad they nearly passed out. everyone is so understanding about them being Out Of Action for a week or so every time they have their period though. rehearsals are moved around, a little nook is made in the infirmary for them to come for regular quintessence treatment, and copia makes sure there's always the widest selection of pads for them to use. some of them are even novelty like kids plasters (bandaids) and have cars, trucks, castles, rockets on the packaging. it makes them giggle every time but it's such a nice reminder that they are unconditionally loved and accepted as they are <3

[blkkizzat]

Kali losing her virginity story time when

sis lmfao it's not glamorous... ngl i 18 and i was crossfaded af at a college party and "superman" by eminem was playing.

LMFAO A MESS, ill talk about it but i don't wanna trigger anyone so under the cut. tw sex under the influence; dubcon

i probably wasn't in the right mind frame to consent or anything tbh (so please dont be like me stay safe). well, honestly now that i think about it, i think it was just that last bong hit that had me out of my mind. although i was already naked atp lol so i was down to have sex. but right after that's when i blacked out and when i came to i was literally moaning as ol'boy had a mouth full of my pussy hjdfasdjhfasdjh. i just wanted to lose my v and get it over with so i was happy to go with the flow. (disclaimer: back in the day when i was drinking hard dark liquor and mixed it with weed i would literally black out, but not go unconscious but just lose that time and not know wtf i was doing for the last 20 mins. But people have told me i was talking/acting like normal so idk.bdjhsdfjh but it happened then too. its only happened to me like 3-4 times tbh all when i binge drank heavy in college and smoked a fuckton of weed. so no it wasn't like i was unconscious and he was hooking up with me anyway).

that said, ngl that was some of the best sex i ever had in college. high sex is always great for me tbh and i dont remember it hurting much (but he had also just ate me out for like 45 min) but i think me and ol'boy just had good natural chemistry. he lived on the 3rd floor and my friends on the first floor said they heard me kfjhsdkjshdfkvjhsd.

one awkward asf thing though is the guy did not know i was a virgin and i would have told him if i wasnt so fucked up fjkhrfkdhgkdf.

also just wanna note, im not sad or upset at all. i always gave zero fucks about the construct of virginity (personally, please if you want it to be nice and special that is your preference and nothing is wrong with that). and sidenote thats why other than the one virgin!reader fic i will write (she wont really give af either tho tbh), i dont like writing virgin!reader cause i dont believe in idealizing it.

honestly i just wanted to lose it cause up until that point i was scared to use a tampon and was tired of being in the bloody dirt trenches with pads fhsdfjkhasfjaksh. like it wasnt even about "losing my virginity to a tampon", i was just scared to put it in. but literally got my period a week later and was like "well a dick has been in me" and found the courage to put it in. i was a silly bitch im fully aware LOL!

but i will say, it was this weird thing after where i felt bad for NOT feeling bad. like i had other friends who idealized virginity so much (then were all pikachu face when they found out i didnt want to tell them i had sex), i felt like there was something wrong with me for not thinking it was a big deal. even sometimes now, i wont want to discuss it just because so may people do idolize it its annoying to have to deal with their reactions and reassure them "no i dont feel like i was SA'd, no i dont regret it, yes i actually enjoyed the experience."

however i will say now im in the middle.

these days im alot more selective with who i fuck as personally i subscribe to the ideas of tantra/tantric sex. That while you can have sex without emotions, you can't have it without an energy exchange. sometimes ive felt shitty after one-night stands or liked the friends with bennies for the pleasure in sex but felt off after. i realized that those feelings weren't due to guilt from slut-shaming but the fact that their energy was off and it was now having an effect on me. so rn im DTF 100%—but yo energy gotta be right. and usually i cant tell that just from the bar or first meeting so ive been waiting more.

i rambled again jsdhsdjhbj but oh well.

[cupidsdescendant]

Mercs helping with period cramps! (Part 1)

Hi loves! Guess what time it is for me ^^|||! I’m going to be making this in 3 parts but I just want to say thank you for all the feedback and love for my sniper headcanons!!

Scout:

-scouts does not understand what a period was and was always confused on why his mom would get insanely emotional during a time in the month

-he tries his best to be supportive but at times he gets kinda rude about things and gets insult-y but Medic reassures him it’s not your fault

-“c’mon doc cant they just make it go away! Why they gotta make such a big deal about it, it usually last a coupla’ days!”

-“Nein you dumkopf!” Medic angrily yells back with a bonk to scouts head “zey can’t just change it venever and it affects someone greatly!” Medic will go on a whole rant and then give scout an entire breakdown of the uterus and what a menstrual cycle.

“Do you know vhat it feels like to be kicked in ze stomach?”

“Course I do, doc, why?”

“Zats what happens for a week.”

“…”

“And jou bleed.”

“So like …if it was for me I’d be bleedin from my-“

“Ja.”

“Oh jeez-! I gotta make this up to em’!” Scout says in a hurry.

-for the rest of your cycle he’s as consistent as you need him to be. He’s always ready with pads (or tampons I prefer pads tho ^_^), painkillers, food. He tries to do his best.

-rewarding him or telling him he’s doing a good job reassured him that he’s making you happy

-and all he wants is his sweetheart to be happy <3

-scout will make sure to always be there from then on and do as much research to understand.

Soldier

-like scout, soldier is completely blind to this thing.

-“you have a period?! What do you mean?! At the end of a sentence? Of course ya do, dummy!”

-soldier finds you lying on the floor from the pain and when you say you’re bleeding he takes it as internal bleeding

-“oh god- cupcake we gotta get you to Medic real fast!” Soldier picks you up and speeds over to Medic.

-“zhey are on their menstrual cycle.”

-“like recycling!?”

-“……no.”

-unlike scout, soldier will still not understand after it all but will comply nonetheless with helping

-he treats everything like a mission tho and so he takes it Incredibly serious despite his lack of knowledge

-“soldier I need some pain killers..”

-“Roger that, darling!”

10 minutes later he comes back with Xanax

-“uhm..that’s the wrong one, love-….”

-is 100% the type of man to text “in the pad aisle, what size pussy do you wear !!!”

-he still is a very considerate man and is always there for you <3

Heavy:

-heavy has sisters. Heavy lives with his mother. Heavy is the only man in the household

-he knows.

-and he’s super helpful and considerate! All of his sisters have different flows and reactions so he’s gotten used to the wide varieties of cravings and needs

-heavy is surprisingly a good chef and he would cook and bake his sisters craving dishes!

-and that is what he does with y/n! Always creating the desired dish for the moment

-he’s always there with products, blankets and overall helping out

-Heavy is very gentle with you during this moment also. He’s very soft spoken and kind and tries not to anger you easily.

-he’s also very calm. If you lash out he simply reminds you to calm down and that everything’s okay

-always here for a shoulder to cry on <33

-heavy is also good at setting the mood to take a good nap or to rest well.

-he lights candles and gives blankets and hugs you tightly as you drift to sleep

Demoman:

-demoman believes every problem can be washed away with some sort of alcohol so he’d pressure you a lot into drinking

-you choose not to tho because it doesn’t help much and you’re frankly angry for a while and he’s confused

-Demo knew what a cycle was but never put to much mind into it

-he’s, of course, helpful and considerate and always there but he also has a “whatever” kinda tone when it comes to it

-he does feel very bad when he sees you struggling and he always pats your back and reassures you you’ll be okay

-“it’s okay, mate you’ll be fine” he says as he kisses you

-reminder! Demo loves showering you in drunken kisses !!!

-he kisses your stomach and wherever you have cramps/hurt as his form of love

-he’s the type to pass out next to you after drinking too much and you also sleeping in his arms

-other than that he’s there for you but he’s more casual in the way he approaches it

That’s all for me for now! I’ll be making part 2 later which will feature Engi, sniper and pyro !!

Thanks a lot babes and I appreciate the love and support! Bye-bye!

[traumatizeddfox]

Actually Fox, hold on. Please don’t answer my last question, let me rephrase it. I didn’t describe it so well.

Also, here’s a TW. I’m so sorry I forgot to put that beforehand, it slipped my mind. I just wanted a quick answer as soon as possible since I was kinda spiraling.

TW for mention of menstrual cycles, menstruation tools like pads and tampons, vaginal insertion and vaginal pain/discomfort.

Is it normal for mothers to insert menstrual tools like a tampon into their daughter’s vagina for them?

It happened when I was a teenager, probably around 15-16 years old but I cant remember exactly what age. My mom was taking me to her sister’s friend’s house to go swimming with her and her kids. But my period had come down. I really wanted to swim, but I didn’t want to mess up my bathing suit by the bleeding, so I asked my mom.

She suggested I wear a tampon instead. I had only used pads ever since my period had come down, I had never used a tampon before cuz I never had a need or interest for it, and I didn’t really know much about it.

Therefore, I had no idea how to use it, so my mom instead decided to insert the tampon in for me. I agreed since I wanted to swim and she made it seem like a tampon would be the easiest method. She inserted it, and it hurt. I told her it hurt. She told me it was meant to hurt because nothing had been inserted into my vagina before, so it was gonna hurt.

I believed her but I still told her that it hurt. But I saw the look on her face; she looked very uncomfortable and disgusted and irritated by the fact that I kept complaining. She huffed in irritation too. So I ignored my pain so she could get it over with and not be angry anymore, I didn’t like being the cause for my mom’s irritation.

Now, I tried researching MDSA (mother-daughter sexual assault) to try and know more about it, and I saw that maternal perpetrators tend to conduct the act under the guise of a medical procedure, which sounded like what my mom did. I also learned that tampons are not supposed to hurt when they’re being inserted inside the vagina— it only does that when it’s inserted at an improper angle (I’m not sure if that entirely true, but I searched multiple websites that said the same thing, so I assume it’s true).

I’m asking this question because I just really want a clear answer, as I’m pretty confused and scared right now. Is this normal, or could this be considered sexual abuse or rape?

I’m very sorry if this makes you uncomfortable. You do not have to read it if so. But if you do, thank you. - 🌌

I have no idea if it’s considered sexual abuse or rape but it definitely is weird that your mom continued. it would be one thing if ur mom was helping you but the fact you told her it hurt and she kept going is very weird and still NOT okay!!

if it made you uncomfortable that’s all you need to know because regardless if it’s rape or sexual abuse it still hurt you!!

[starcrossed02]

Shark Week

THIS IS INSPIRED BY A ONESHOT FROM ANOTHER FANDOM

NOT MY ORIGINAL WORK, INSPO CREDIT GOES TO THE OG AUTHOR!!! WILL LIST THE BOOK AND CHAP NAME

@bookish_writer on wattpad, chapter titles "bloodstains" close to the end of the chapter list

(i copied and pasted this from my wattpad, go follow me on there too <333)

"no no no no no" you repeated to yourself under your breath, wondering how you hadn't realized it was already late.

"no!" you continued to mutter to yourself, trying to think of how to get up without waking mickey.

"ok! its ok! i can do! come on y/n! its ok!" you said, slowly working up the courage to waddle over to his bathroom.

"ok! come on, you got this!"

you slowly sat up, keeping your thighs tight together, trying to make sure blood doesn't get anywhere else. 

"damned gravity" you said, no longer whispering to your self.

you walked over to mickeys bathroom. while scouring his cabinets for a anything to use, you cant find a single thing. 

you give yourself a quick wipe down from all the blood, and quickly walk over to your purse in the kitchen. you find some black underwear, a pad, and a tampon. as you begin to walk back towards mickeys bathroom, you realize you are craving some chocolate.

"ooo! i should make some chocolate chip pancakes!" you think to yourself, starting to get excited.

you do you business in the bathroom, and go back to find ingredients for pancaked.

after a few minutes of looking up recipes, you hear mickey from the bedroom.

"y/n? no no no! god damnit! where are you?" he starts to breath heavier, his heart rate getting faster. he runs out of his room, almost tripping on the carpet in the hallway.

"y/n? where are you?" he starts fearing the worst, what if you got kidnapped?

 what if you got shot right there then taken and you were already dead?

 what if someone was taking you for ransom? he would give everything he had just to make sure you never got hurt.

as you begin to realize your fatal mistake, he practically sprints through the hallway.

still breathing heavy, he says, "y/n? are you okay? i saw, i saw the blood," he pauses, trying to catch his breath., " on the bedsheets. what happened?"

you just stare back at him, wondering why you hadn't thought to clean the bedsheets somehow. now that you're thinking about it, you wouldn't have been able to take the sheet off without waking him.

"what? yeah, im fine, perfectly fine!" you say, kind putting your arms up as if to show him something, but your not sure what. 

"ok? what's the blood from?" he says, still slightly out of breath. he walks over, checks your legs for any cuts. he lifts your shirt slightly, just enough to see your belly button.

"you haven't been cut? or shot? or stabbed?"

"i- its from," you say, stumbling over your words. you can feel the red creep up on your cheeks, looking down.

that's when you realize he's holding your hands in his.

"oh. is it your period?" he's asks, in the most nonchalant manner you've ever heard someone ask that question.

"mhm. im sorry, ill clean the sheets and make sure the change the bag in the bathroom trashcan before i leave." you say, rushing all the words out at once they almost sounded like another language.

you can feel the heat in your cheeks continue to grow at an even faster rate that earlier.

"hey," Mickey says, placing one of his hands against your cheek, cupping your face. "its nothing to be embarrassed about? I don't understand why you would be embarrassed about something 100% natural. and I can clean the sheets. I'm a lawyer. I've seen worse in photos of dead people, for goodness sakes!"

"oh. i hadn't thought about it that way before. you're sure you want to clean it? im fine, i can clean it. i really can. you don't have to just say it to make me feel better."

"oh, mi amor, let me clean the sheets. ill change the trash can, and ill finish the pancakes, ok? go lay down on the couch and watch something on tv, ok?"

"you mean it? you're not just gonna throw away the sheets?" you say, starting to tear up.

"Querida, don't cry. why are you crying?" (spanish for darling)

"its, its just the last guy i dated, he, uh, yelled at me because he was so grossed out, when it got into his bed. the one before, just, ignored the whole thing. like he wasn't grossed out, but he wanted me to clean the sheets."

"oh, im sorry that happened to you. they really arent men. they just boys." by this point, he had pulled your head into his chest, with one hand on your back, and the other holding your head in place.

you just started sobbing into him. after a minute of standing there, he walked you two over the the couch, and had you sit next to him, still sniffling into his shoulder.

after a good ten minutes, when mickey didn't hear anymore sniffles or sobs, he realized you fell asleep. he carefully got up, making sure not to wake you. he went to grab his softest blanket from the linen closet, and covered you with it

he grabbed his bed sheet, and brought it to the sink in the kitchen. he poured some dish soap onto it and started to rub the two areas stained together. after rinsing with some cold water, he put it into into the washer with some bleach and a heavy duty stain remover. 

he went to go check on you, and he saw you sprawled out on the couch, snuggling with a pillow. he smiled, and went back to the kitchen to make those chocolate chip pancakes.

*small time skip*

he walked out with a charcuterie board with your plate and some oj. he placed it on the coffee table next to the couch, and gently woke you up. after stirring for a minute, he said "pancakes" and your eyes shot open.

he smiled at this, and picked up the tray, placed it on your lap, and went to go grab his own.

by the time he got back, you were eating the final few, and asked if there were more in the kitchen. he handed you the his plate, and gave him a confused look.

"there's more in the kitchen."

"oh, okay then!" and dug in. he sat down and smiled at how happy and content you looked in that moment.

1052 words ❤

[sturniolo-rat]

thanks for answering! Oh my friends are doing stuff with guys and I low-key cant even put a tampon in 😭😭 IT HURTSSS and dicks are a lot bigger.

Ahhh! I had the same experience! Don’t worry when you’re actually like horny and wet it’s not gonna be a big deal. Promise you

SEND ME AN EMOJI!!!

Also don’t do anything just because other people are doing it. You go at your own pace because if you’re not ready and you do it anyway all your gonna do is become traumatized and sad

[lemontongues]

this is really gross tmi whining about my period sorry lol, probably dont look!

i just. this is So Disgusting i cant even begin to explain lmao, i use period underwear bc im scared of tampons and too lazy for cups but like. literally every time i bend over to put something in my trashcan or grab something on the floor near my desk theres a GUSH...... my periods are normally kinda heavy but not? this bad??? like this is so. so revolting lmfao i dont even mind having my period generally but im like this is SO gross i cannot. i cant handle it lmfao. not even mentioning the cramps, which yesterday were so bad i could still feel them after i took an advil even tho i normally dont need painkillers at all, but just. WHY IS THERE SO MUCH BLOOD,,,, im seriously worried about the possibility of bleeding through this pair of period underwear and ive only had them on for like 4 hours, usually they last me at least 12, cries so hard,,,

[mithliya]

You don't have to answer this obviously, its embarrassing but I feel like I don't know where else to ask - NSFW

I've always found penetration difficult. I feel like I'm broken as a woman because it feels like everyone around me is able to do it and enjoys it and I don't. I don't want to be graphic but I don't know what to do. I'm scared to go to a doctor in case they diagnose me with vaginismus. I don't know if I should even try to make it better or just leave it. I feel like I can't experience my body fully because I cant do this one thing. I know thats stupid but its what I think in my head. I can't use tampons, and sexual penetration is terrible. I can use my hand, but I can't feel anything. It just doesn't feel pleasurable and I can't go in very far. If I use a dildo, it hurts. Not every second, I go slow etc but I can't get much in. It feels painful at the side of my labia. No matter what direction or position it just hurts. I can almost feel a bone blocking it or something. I feel like I'm broken and a freak and I don't know what to do. I cant talk to my friends because they all talk about how they love penetration and I feel too ashamed of my situation. I'm scared I'll never be able to satisfy a partner even though I'm a lesbian because I see women on here and tiktok talking about strapons etc and I know it would hurt and be impossible to have sex like that. Even when I relax and am definitely ready to try penetration, it doesn't work. No matter what I do it always feels uncomfortable in some way. If it doesn't hurt, it feels like nothing. I'm afraid I do have vaginismus or something is really wrong with me. I've never allowed a partner to try. I've not had a long term relationship and I worry women will be really put off if penetration is something I can't partake in. Ive not had loads of dating experience so idk if this is even a reasonable worry to have. im so sorry this is all over the place. I totally understand if you cant answer. Ive tried googling stuff but i cant really find much.

sorry for taking a while to respond. first of all i dont see whats embarrassing about this?! you have not said anything here that i think is embarrassing.

i don't particularly enjoy penetration and ive come across MANYYYYY women who don't. particularly many lesbians. its ok if you don't enjoy penetration. it doesn't have to mean you have vaginismus either, although what you described might be that (potentially on top of you already naturally not being keen on penetration). that said, there is no shame in being diagnosed with vaginismus either. receiving such a diagnosis can help you understand your body better and if you do think you could potentially enjoy penetration then maybe a diagnosis would help open that door for you somehow. it might also end up that you don't have vaginismus. either way, there is no must or need in enjoying penetration. there's probably even straight women who don't like it! just because there's many women who do, does not mean there's something wrong with you for not enjoying it.

i don't use tampons either! im 26 and first time i tried to, i was 24 and ever since then ive used it maybe a grand total of 2-3 times? it feels uncomfortable and painful for me too. its ok, many women do not use tampons so you're really not missing out there. it isn't a requirement in female adulthood.

also penetration alone does not feel pleasureable to an even larger group of women! so once again, there is nothing abnormal about not feeling much when trying it on yourself and its not abnormal to not find it pleasurable. and i don't know how experienced you are sexually, but the other stuff you mentioned could also be because you're dealing with shame & fear & aren't aroused enough while trying penetration on yourself. and if your friends were to judge you for not enjoying penetration, then frankly they're the ones that are weird, not you!

and from my experience at least, women have not been put off by me saying i don't like certain things (like penetration) and prefer other acts. if you're not sexually compatible with a woman then that is fine, but no one can expect you to enjoy a particular sex act and then judge you when you don't.

i think before worrying yourself this much, you should first find a woman you are comfortable with and attracted to. you could tell her about your fears & insecurities before having sex-- it can help if you're going to engage with her sexually bc it takes off anxiety from you while also making her aware of how she should be mindful & gentle! if you end up trying things with penetration with her and it becomes clear to you that you simply do not like it or like it with certain limits & restrictions or love it or whatever else-- all of that is normal. but don't worry yourself this much over something so small & a normal preference like not liking penetration, its really not abnormal to not enjoy it. if you're sexually inexperienced and have barely even dated then i get why you're worrying yourself so much but i promise when you're sexually active then normal people do not care about that the way you might think they do. penetration isnt for everyone, it doesn't have to be something you want or enjoy either

[aftout]

They put me in the evil torture labyrinth and i cant reach my tampons.

[blognameyoucanchangethisanytime]

this is wildly tmi even for this blog but i hate that every month like clockwork, a day or so before my period actually ends, it eases up and acts like its over and then revs back up. usually in the middle of me doing something physical i cant get away from. but when it kicks back up it's too light to put a tampon in without feeling sick. it's like charlie brown and that damned football, and like chuck i fall for it every time. except instead of being upside down on my ass in the dirt im stuck freebleeding in my boxers

[fictionfixations]

hhhi guys wanna see me talk about what anime/manga i like

ok

so

my mal page looked kind of boring so i decided 'why not talk about what im fixating on'

and then it. expanded from there... (to be honest i think i just like yapping about anything and everything to people)

so im.

if i ever say a word that doesnt make sense. or well is typed then just know. that probably isnt meant to be there but i wasnt paying attention

also if i drop a line of thought suddenly. know that it is because i started typing on a different part because i kept hopping onto different areas and adding things that i mightve forgotten to go back to because i kept getting hit with thoughts on what to add

----

Current Fixations: Twisted Wonderland, Lout of Count's Family, Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint??? (i wanna get into it), Honkai: Star Rail uhh i cant remember anything else (i am slowly crumbling into a mess of sobbing noises as i delve deeper into the stories)

Potential: Debut or Die???? It seems interesting so far but I'm worried about how wacky idol drama might be. (..I remember googling something about it and there's just something about Park Moondae and.. pADS? or like tampons idk? And I'm pretty sure it's made up for drama (in story) but ??????) I really really like Dungeon Meshi. It's not something that's consumed my life that it makes up a lot of what I think of so uh not what I consider a fixation, but I like it and am excited to see it continued. (Yes I know there's a finished manga but I don't wanna get spoiled! This is genuinely a show I got into WITHOUT SPOILERS?? Which is insane because I usually get hit with MAJOR spoilers (end game type lol) that then make me think 'oh cool, that happens?' and makes me watch. But Dungeon Meshi had NONE OF THAT! I like cooking animes A LOT and just found it so I decided to get into it. It was great and I was not expecting there to suddenly be plot in my cooking anime but I don't hate it, it's really cool. I'm hyped.) Also Apothecary Diaries is great. I didn't get spoiled on that one either, I just got into it thinking it'd be something I could just put in the background (I did have it open though in dub so trying to pay attention while doing other stuff) and then it turned out to be actually really good. So, wow. The Promised Neverland season one was PEAK, best thing ever. Season two, uhh... (I did read the manga for that one though!) It also made me understand why MAL separates seasons, which made me very annoyed when I first made an account trying to add everything I watched and trying to add all the MHA seasons barely remembering which one had which. All Saints Street is cozy to watch. I have like the 3rd favorited because of that one episode where they're at like a play or something and Neil (with the help of like the Demon King I think??) suddenly busts out this really cool move. I want to read it's manga (listen I'm going to refer to it as manga because that's the term I'm used to otherwise I will be so confused) but MAL doesn't have that entry..?? It was in whatever state it's called when they're added but you can't interact with it because it's not added added. And now I can't find it so unfortunate. Apparently it has more gayness??

My thing is that I get fixated on something and devour so much content regarding it, and then drop it like a month later with little to no interest. Sometimes I come back to it but not as into it. (Sometimes I stay with it longer then that but I have my finger in a LOT of different fandom pies.)

Things I wanna get into: Black Butler, One Piece, Heaven's Official Blessing, Scum Villain's Self-Saving System (something like that i forgot the name), Bleach, Katekyou Hitman Reborn!, I'm Not That Kind of Talent, Naruto, Honkai Impact 3rd I went through Persona 3 Reload but I haven't seen the anime-related stuff to it yet. Have no idea what happens in The Answer. Vanitas no Carte. I watched one season and then stopped because I wanted to watch it while super focusing because I wanted to really pay attention. ..And then I never started. I wanna see what the hype about Nier:Automata is about but for the life of me I just can't get into it. Kind of want to get into Pokemon but I think I'm way too many years late on that train. Also I've started blanking out on what's going on with the.. Horizons?? Anime?? The new Pokemon anime.

Was fixated on but kinda not so much now? (Still keeping up with it): Oshi no Ko, My Hero Academia, Jujtusu Kaisen, Bungo Stray Dogs

Manga I want to read: Toilet-Bound Hanako Kun?? I saw the anime but that apparently skipped some arcs and then I never got into reading it. I finished Hunter x Hunter's anime and wanted to get into the manga to continue from it but then I never did it so oops but I don't remember what happened. Haha did I mention I forget things easy? ..Maybe Solo Leveling? I watched the anime but I honestly don't like the appearance change. It's probably just because of preference since it's not bad it's just not a thing I like. But I feel like I should because it is probably interesting maybe???? S-Classes That I Raised. I think the being looked down upon because 'so and so' would break me but TIME TRAVEL? Also story because goddamn like the beginning part?

Old fixations but will still like: Assassination Classroom was great to me. Ending always got me crying, and I like interacting with stuff related to it. Violet Evergarden is 10/10 always makes me cry even on rewatch, what a masterpiece. There's also Demon Slayer which I know the ending of but I really like seeing it brought to life in the anime. Hyped for the movies but also hell because movies take so long to appear in a streaming platform and already spoilers. Movie quality is crazy though so excited. Anyone remember that one fan animation of Zenitsu AND* (i said x but not in a shippy way but an 'and' way and i realize it could be taken the wrong way SO) Kaigaku or something that looked genuinely like an actual thing?? There's Spy x Family's movie which I haven't been spoiled yet but AHHHH. Danganronpa was a big fixation I had for awhile to be honest. Yuri on Ice was SO GOOD??? I do this thing where something gets popular and so I avoid it as much as I can. And then I turn around late to the party and get into it. I shouldn't but I do. I can't believe I didn't get into it when it got super big but I also probably wouldn't really remember what happened by then. Genshin Impact consumed my life until I ran out of storage so I got into Honkai: Star Rail. I'm not too too into Genshin anymore but trying to keep up with it? Kind of?

Dead fixation??: Fairy Tail I think was one of the first few anime I ever watched and I loved it so much. And also I don't remember anything that happened so... I kind of got into EDENS ZERO but I'm not that fixated and I'm not the biggest fan of fanservice. That one episode where, well, spoilers, but y'know the one where suddenly everything is going wrong and people are dying and then it turns out it's like a weird sort of power the protagonist who I cannot remember the name of for the life of me but is like Lucy but other character?? Her?? has??? It got dark QUICK and that was cool to see. There was also Sword Art Online? I really liked it but I have no idea what's going on now. One of my favorites was like Gun Gale Online to be honest though.

it. was originally meant to be just current fixations. but then i thought isnt that too little??? so then i started talking about things i kinda liked but wasnt sure on and then it spiraled from there

[eponymous-enonymous]

THIS IS JUST A VENT OR SOMETHING ABOUT ANATOMY SCROLL IF THAT SINT SOMETHING YOU WANNA READ ABOUT

tw for stuff like sexual discussion and insecurity and stuff like that

so from bleeding through most pads and also personal reasons that couldnt be fulfilled ive kinda noticed that genuinely i cannot fit anything …there, for back of modest terms i guess. like i settled for a Q TIP as some kind of make shift tampon and it did not work haha, couldnt get the top part in. and also i think i bleed from my urethra because thats where it seems to be coming from as opposed to the normal place menstrual blood should be coming from. also really hard to…feel things. like, have to work for that, improperly use an electric toothbrush and all. because i have desires and wants and needs and no way to satisfy them because my body is like unable to do that to. this quirk i guess has led to a lot of feelings, like, its hard to like myself when i cant even feel the same pleasure as everyone else. hard to take care of myself when i feel like im half the human everyone else is, incomplete, removed, like im excluded from the club of humanity and have to just waste away from the outside. i feel inadequate? like i dont function, or kinda worthless. like no one could ever love me, i have nothing to offer. and i know sexuality isnt the defining feature of life; but the thing is i really want it. i cant do penetrative stuff but godsdammit i want to! i wish some lovely asexual could swap bodies with me, because its such a burden to me that i basically ruined my urinary system in the thralls of struggling with sexuality and stuff. and i just. is this a thing?? is there a name for it?? is there treatment of some kind?? am i stuck like this, unable to use my defective reproductive system?? i want to experience the sex stuff that most people do, i want to be a mother one day, i want to have a body that works right and i can put my faith and trust and appreciation in. i also have extremely sucky periods that always make me vomit from pain but thats a different topic. being a minor i dont know how i could possibly tell anyone about this. like a doctor or my mother or just anyone really. its extremely embarrassing and they dont need to know ive explored enough to notice all the ways my body fails at. i guess this is just a vent or a plead for anyone who has any information on this?? like why my vaginal cavity is basically non existent and my urethra takes up all the jobs she has (menstrual blood, discharge, et cetera) and why i feel such diluted pleasure, like i have to WORK for it which is inconvenient since im a very like needy person ive found, and why was i born like this?? why couldnt i be born normal? its most of what i want, this has burdened me ever since sixth or seventh grade but ive never been able to get answers or assistance. it sucks.