#me: haha pain // also me: I CAN FINALLY GET STITCH TOMORROW

[zazikels]

hmm idk beast. i have no idea where she is. none at all.

[dameronology]

home {poe dameron x reader}

summary: poe made a promise to always come home, and it’s one he’s determined to keep

warnings: swearing, mentions of injuries 

more hurt/comfort fluff?? i almost sent myself off to sleep writing this bc of the ending and bc i am shattered. anyhoo, enjoy!

- jazz

p.s i skimmed this, but it has not been properly proof read haha oops pls bare with me, i will do it in the morning 

It had only been five days. 

You’d been apart from Poe for far longer than that; sometimes weeks, sometimes months. It was just part of being in the Resistance, and something you both knew you had to do, but it didn’t make it any easier. You must have had some pretty foul luck to have met the love of your life during a time in which the galaxy insisted on keeping you apart - but one look at the pilot, and all that faded away. He always made it home to you, no matter what. He’d made that promise to you pretty early in the relationship, and you knew it to be true. You could never doubt Poe. 

The Blue Squadron was due back to base at midday; the mission had been pretty secretive, so the comms lines had been shut most the time. Even after begging Leia to let you man the singular one that connected you to Poe, she’d refused, knowing it would only make things worst. The General only ever spoke from experience, and she had plenty in waiting around for cocky pilots. Whilst Poe was arguably a little less reckless than Han, she knew that you would both act as a distraction to one another’s work. You were equally important to the Resistance, and she couldn’t have you moping about on a commslink for hours a day. The joke was on her for that one, because you still moped, even when you weren’t trying to reach your guy. 

 ‘What time is it?’ You asked Finn. 

‘11.56.’ He glanced over at you, eyebrows raised. ‘So the same time as when you asked thirty seconds ago.’ 

‘I’m just anxious.’ You grumbled. ‘I’ve been so lonely the last five days.’

‘You mean the last five days that you’ve spent with me?’

‘Hey, it’s nothing personal!’ You nudged him in the ribs. ‘You miss him too.’

‘I do.’ Finn nodded. ‘We really are just a pair of simps.’

‘Friends who simp together, stay together.’ You grinned. ‘And if me and Poe ever break up, you have first dibs.’

‘Same for you, if Rey and I ever break up-’

‘- that would require you getting together in the first place.’ You reminded him. Finn could only scowl in response. 

‘I’m trying!’ He held his hands up in defense. ‘It’s just complicated.’

‘Nothing’s complicat - they’re here!’ 

You leapt off the crate you’d been sat on, sprinting across the hangar to where a fleet of X-Wings were grouping. Jess came in first, followed by Snap, and then Kare. Poe’s jet was the last to come in, which was unusual for him. He almost always lead the squad - aside from the time he’d managed to blow an engine and had to call you out to tow him back (it’s how you’d met, actually). Bar a few new dents and scratches, his jet looked to be in decent condition, with BB-8 whirring away from where he was perched in the back. You took that to be a good sign, even if he’d been the last to get in. 

A crowd of mechanics reached the fleet before you, tools in hand and ready to repair whatever damage the First Order had thrown at them. You gave Jess a smile and a high five as you passed, but your line of sight was dead set on finding the curly-haired pilot. You had to elbow your way through the crowd, heartbeat picking up as you did. Man, you’d missed him. The last few weeks had been rough for you both and being constantly pulled apart only made it worst. All you wanted to do was to see him, to hug him and-

- You hit Poe with a thud, chests colliding. He immediately wrapped you up in his arms, pulling you tightly against his chest and burying his head against yours. He smelt faintly of jet fuel and smoke, which was fitting. 

His lips were on yours the minute he’d let you go, hands tightly gripping your cheeks as he kissed you with all his might. Yeah, he’d missed you too.

‘Hey, baby.’ You couldn’t help but smile, eyes finally meeting - it didn’t last long though, not when you saw the state of his face. ‘Oh my god. Your eye! And your lip! And-’

‘- I missed you.’ Poe brushed it aside, pressing another exhausted kiss to your lips.   

‘I missed you too.’ You softly sighed. ‘The fuck happened to your face, though?’

‘Just...First Order stuff.’ He bit his lip, brown eyes falling to the floor. 

You sighed. ‘Shit, Poe.’ 

‘I know. He gently nodded. ‘I’m okay though. I’m here with you. That’s the important thing.’

‘You’re right.’ You agreed. ‘C’mon, I’ll take you to medical-’

He cut you off with a groan. ‘Let’s just go back to my room. Please?’ 

‘But your face.’ You gently ghosted a thumb across his bruised cheek, flinching when he shuddered slightly. ‘I mean...I have a first aid kit. I can always take a crack at it.’

‘That sounds a lot nicer than those nurse droids.’ He smiled. 

‘But you have to promise to get checked over tomorrow, okay?’

‘I promise.’

Poe flung his arm across your shoulders, pulling you into his side as you headed out the hangar. His own room was actually in the opposite direction, but he practically lived with you in yours. It always felt so much nicer. You’d managed to make it a lot homier, with photos of the two of you and fairy lights strung up. The scent of your perfume always lingered in the air and sleeping in your bed was the closest he could get to you when you were away on missions. In return, he left his jumpers and hoodies laying around for you to have free reign of. It was a weak form of paying rent, but he hadn’t heard any arguments. 

You could tell that Poe was tired from the way he walked. He usually had a swagger in his step, smiling at everyone who passed. Now, he was leaning on you for support, dark eyes staring dead ahead with exhaustion, his brain working at a thousand miles an hour to process what he’d witnessed over the last few days. You’d been on his mind the entire time.

‘Here we go.’ You gently lead him to the bed, helping him shrug off his charred flight suit. He caught your lips in a chaste kiss as you moved it off his shoulders, hands suddenly grabbing yours. 

‘You know I love you, right?’

‘Of course. I love you too.’ You murmured. ‘Is something up?’

Poe pulled you down onto the bed beside him, eyes finally meeting yours. ‘I just...I got captured on the mission. Very briefly, but still. It was scary, and there was a moment when I wasn’t sure I was gonna make it back.’

‘Poe.’ Your breath caught in your throat. ‘Is that why your face is all...’

‘Like this?’ He chuckled slightly. ‘Yeah. I’m sorry.’

‘Hey, don’t be.’ You squeezed his hands. ‘It’s not your fault, and like you said earlier, the important thing is that you here now.’

‘I know, but I promised you, didn’t I? That I’d always come home?’

‘And you did.’ You pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. ‘Now c’mon, I gotta stitch you up before this scars.’

‘I reckon I’d look hot with a couple battle scars, y’know.’

‘You would, but I’d rather you not bleed out all over my sheets for the sake of vanity.’ You smiled. 

Digging out your first aid kit, you grabbed a few cotton swabs and some bacta spray. You weren’t a nurse, but your medical skills weren’t terrible either. After a few too many injuries and close calls out in the field, you’d learnt the basics. Half of the scars on Poe’s body had been from your handiwork after he’d been injured -- some of them were a little wonky, but he hadn’t died yet, so you figured you’d done a decent job. The ones he’d done for you were much neater but in your defense, he was reckless as fuck and had a ton more experience in dealing with injuries. 

On the bright side, Poe’s torso seemed fine and relatively uninjured. The white shirt he was wearing was only smeared with soot from the blaster fire, and his bare arms were broad and uninjured, save for one scrape on his left bicep. Okay, maybe the broad part wasn’t relevant to the context, but it was definitely relevant on the whole. He did have good arms. You only ever truly felt safe when they were wrapped around you.

‘This might sting a little bit.’ You crouched between his legs, pouring a little bit of bacta spray onto the cotton swab. You gently wiped it across his forehead, doing a double take when he let out a hiss of pain. ‘You okay, baby?’

‘Yeah, I’m good.’ Poe’s eyes met yours, and he gave you a half smile. ‘Better now that you’re here.’

It didn’t take too long to clean up the rest of his cuts and bruises; they were relatively minor given what he’d been through. The last time he’d been caught by the First Order on Jakku, he’d come home ten times worse than this. You’d spent days by his side in the medical room, mostly chiding him for how funny he looked in the bactasuit, but also to offer emotional support. The duality of love. 

You finished up by wrapping a bandage around the cut on his left arm, gently tying it in place with a safety pin. It was enough to keep it clean and safe until tomorrow, when you’d hopefully be able to convince him to see an actual nurse. You knew that for now, he was tired and probably just wanted to rest. His eyes were sunken with tiredness, and his body had become more and more slumped as you’d gone about cleaning him up. Poe never slept well on missions; a mixture of anxiety and your absence always made for a bad night’s sleep. 

‘That should keep you in one piece for now.’ You said, running a hand through his hair. Poe leant into your touch, pressing a kiss to your wrist. ‘You should get some sleep.’

‘Mmm.’ He murmured. ‘You’re staying, right?’

'Absolutely.’ You offered him a soft smile. ‘Gotta lose the boots though. These are clean sheets.’

‘Can you do it for me?’ He asked, flopping back against the mattress. 

You rolled your eyes at his...Poe-ness, before leaning down and unzipping his shoes, tossing them in a pile across the room. Yours joined them, followed by your jacket and the crumpled flight suit. That was something else to worry about tomorrow. For now, your main focus was him. 

Poe climbed under the covers, shuffling across to make room for you. He reached out to you as you joined him, naturally wrapping his arms around your shoulders and pulling you into his side. The tiredness really hit him then, and you could feel his body untense as you pressed a kiss to his jaw. His body was warm against yours, which was a welcome contrast after sleeping alone for the last few nights. 

‘I love you.’ Poe murmured quietly. 

‘I love you too.’ You peered up at him with a smile. 

‘And I’ll always come home to you.’ He gave your shoulders a light squeeze. ‘You know that, right?’

‘I do.’

‘I’ll never break a promise to you.’

‘I know.’ You softly sighed, trying to move closer to him (as though it were even possible).

It was hard for him to fight the exhaustion now that he was laying with you -- after a few moments, his breathing became a little deeper, and his grip on you a little looser. You pressed one last kiss to his cheek, before settling back against his side and letting sleep over take you. 

[onechicago-upsteadrhekker]

the trouble with wanting (is i want you) - part three

Friends! 

It’s here! Finally! The last part to my version of Hailey’s time in New York!

I know it took a while me to post everything, but better late than never I guess! I hope this lives up to your expectations and I can’t wait to see what you think of it!

Huge shoutout to @anniesardors and @imjustwritingg for hearing and reading all the things and just being the biggest hype girls of all time!

Please enjoy this fluffy chapter before we get served a whole host of angst in the season finale tomorrow lol. Also, just a forewarning, it’s a long one... Like over 10,000 words so you’re welcome haha.

Tagging: @imjustwritingg, @anniesardors, @thetwit, @angelsjedi, @chichichicken, @carissalizz, @maya-asturias, @stephanie708, @cpd5777 

Read on AO3

It was nearing eleven in the evening and Hailey didn’t think she’d ever been so exhausted from the events of the day. Being released from the hospital and Jay’s mandatory five laps around the floor of the hotel had taken its toll on her.

It was a good kind of exhausted though because today, she had fallen in love with Jay Halstead all over again.

With every gesture and smile and look he gave her she fell in love with him again and again. His strong, but gentle hands, his heart always so kind and his eyes filled with an affection that made her heart ache in the best way. 

Even though her side was killing her, she felt so incredibly grateful to have him with her because the devotion he’s shown to her over the past few days, and especially today, made her once again realize that he truly was one of a kind.

And spending the day with just him, laughing and joking and asking each other silly questions almost made getting injured worth it.

She yawns through a giggle, her eyes shining bright as she listens to him wrap up a hilarious retelling of a time when he was on patrol. For one of her questions, she’d asked him for his craziest experience on the beat and he’d launched into a story about him and his old partner responding to a burglary call at two in the morning.

A man had claimed that he had been robbed and was missing five pounds of bacon but upon further investigation, it turned out the wife had been sneaking into the kitchen for a late-night snack.

“We did get some bacon out of it,” he laughs, looking up at her from where he was laid out at the end of the bed. “So, it wasn’t all bad.”

Shaking her head in amusement, she stifles another yawn with her hand and Jay gives her an affectionate smile and a pointed look, both of which she’s become quite familiar with by now.

“As much as I love this, I think it’s time for someone to go to bed.”

She arches an eyebrow, trying not to look as tired as she really felt. “So, I have a bedtime now?”

“When you’ve been shot and are taking some pretty heavy pain killers you do,” Jay smirks and she knows that not only is he right about her needing rest, but he is also getting payback for all of the times she had forced him to bed using the same argument.

He glances at his watch, the smirk growing, “Oh, and look at that. It’s time for another round of meds.”

Hailey gives him a look and scrunches up her nose, still not thrilled with the idea of taking them, but silently thankful that they should knock her out for a few hours. Shaking out a few pills into an open palm, Jay grabs a fresh bottle of water from the mini fridge and gives the items to her. 

“Do you want a shower tonight?” He asks as she throws the pills back in one go and takes a gulp of water to swallow them down with.

Wiping at her lips with her shirt, she shakes her head. “I took one this morning before you got to the hospital, so I’m good.”

“Alright,” he nods, leaning down to pick an empty plastic bag that had floated to the floor. “Why don’t you get ready for bed then? I’ll clean up out here and then help you change your bandages.”

Hailey carefully climbs out of the spot she’s been sitting in for most of the day and pads over to the chest of drawers she had finally unpacked in when it was clear she would be staying in New York for more than two weeks. She pulls out an oversized police academy shirt and a pair of running shorts before turning to rifle through the small duffle that Jay had packed for her hospital stay for her toothbrush.

She makes her way into the bathroom and even though her back is to him, Hailey is still very much aware of every move Jay makes as he busies himself with tidying the room and washing their dishes.

It all seems so domesticated and easy, like something they’ve done a thousand times before, and yet it feels different than if they were in one of their apartments doing the same sort of thing after pizza and beers.

There was something about knowing Jay couldn’t just hop in his truck to go home if he felt like it or that she couldn’t hide away in her own bedroom for a few minutes when the overwhelming urge to kiss him comes over her and it makes her heart beat erratically inside her chest.

She rinses her mouth out and takes a deep breath to steady herself before leaving the bathroom now dressed in her pajamas.

Jay places the last dish away as she comes out, turning to look at her with another easy smile that makes her knees week. She thinks it should be illegal for someone to look that handsome doing such a mundane task, but then again, it’s Jay and she knows he looks good in anything and everything he does. She doesn’t even have to work with him every day to know that.

She sits on the edge of the bed and Jay makes his way over to her silently, gauze and medical tape in his hands. Lifting her oversized shirt, she keeps it from falling down with an arm crossed just below her breasts and she thinks for a moment that there should be some sort of initial awkwardness at being this close, that she should feel uncomfortable, but there isn’t, and she doesn’t. 

Jay had been there when the nurses had first changed her bandages, had carefully studied their movements as they showed him what to do when she got home, but now that they were here, his hands touching her and just the two of them in a hotel room it was almost too much.

His fingers were gentle, but nimble as he carefully undid the bandages taped to her stitched side and Hailey couldn’t help thinking how his hands were more reassuring and comforting than even the nurses with all their experience and technique.

“Cop who scares you the most?” The sudden question almost makes Hailey jump, not expecting him to speak and she wonders if maybe the silence was getting to him too.

She blinks but doesn’t have to think too hard on this one. “Platt, for sure.”

“You?” She questions and she can hear the smile in his voice when he gives the same answer she had a second ago. 

As his fingers continue working over her injury, she can’t help the way her heart rate quickens. Can’t stop the goosebumps from popping up all over her skin. If he notices the way she shivers just slightly, he doesn’t show it as he begins to apply the fresh gauze over her side. 

“Did you always wanna be a cop? Before you met Platt, I mean,” he asks then. She hates the way it catches her off guard again, but also feels grateful for the distraction instead of thinking about his hands moving over her body. 

“Um, no, actually. I was really into gymnastics when I was younger. I remember watching the Olympics with my brothers and just loving the way they all moved through the air. Did it for a couple years but didn’t stick with it. Obviously,” she says as he puts some slight pressure on her side to apply some medical tape over the gauze.

“I’m sorry. I know this part hurts,” he says immediately, his fingers stilling, and she shakes her head.

“It’s okay,” she breathes out through gritted teeth. 

She takes another deep breath and feels him begin to move his hands over her side again a moment later. Instead of thinking about the discomfort and pain, she puts her focus back on the way his fingers feel on her skin. The way his hands have taken down some of the most hardened criminals of Chicago, but here he is, as gentle and as soft as can be with her. Like he always is. 

His hands leave her side a moment later and then she hears him whisper from beside her. “All done.”

She nods and pulls down her shirt before slinking further into the bed and carefully lying on her uninjured side as comfortably as she could. She watches him as he cleans up the medical supplies and disposes of her dirty bandages before turning off the main light of the room.

There’s just the nightstand lamp on, now casting a softer glow throughout the room. 

Hailey took another deep breath, trying to breathe as quietly as she could as she listened to Jay moving around the room on the other side of the bed. Her heart was starting to beat wildly again with anticipation as she waited for the inevitable dip of the bed when he was ready to turn in for the night.

She could hear his footsteps fall softly, the door to the bathroom closing shut as quietly as possible and she knows he’s trying hard not to disturb her. It didn’t matter though; she’s so hyper-aware of him, every noise he made echoed loudly in her ears.

If she were being honest, the thought of them sharing a bed had plagued her mind well before she’d been sent to New York and he’d hopped on a plane when she’d gotten hurt five weeks later. When it dawned on her that this meant that her bed-sharing fantasies had a high probability of coming true, her nights had been filled thinking about this moment more than she would ever admit.

Generally, she wasn’t an over thinker, but when it came to this, her mind had raced with the possibilities and each scenario had played out in her mind like a scene from a cringy rom-com.

The bathroom door opened, and her eyes flew shut. He moved silently over to the empty side of the bed and there was some rattling on the nightstand as he plugged his phone in and took his watch off. When it was quiet again, she waited for him to climb in beside her, but she could almost feel his hesitation.

She was about to tell him it was okay, and she didn’t mind sharing; that the bed was big enough for both of them, but then he climbed in next to her like it was just any other night. Like it was completely normal, and he’d been sleeping beside her for years.

It wasn’t a night of passionate frenzy and tangled limbs or awkward small talk over them sharing a bed.

It just was.

*

“Jay?”

He barely heard it, but it was enough for him to wake up.

Turning over quickly, he squinted, trying to see Hailey through the darkness, “Hailey?” He rasped groggily, “You okay?”

She sighed. Or tried to. He heard it catch in her throat before she drew in a quick little breath of pain and he knows that her insomnia is probably what woke her up, but it’s her ribs and side that’s keeping her from falling back asleep.

He tried to shuffle closer to her without jostling her too much, “You in pain?”

He was close enough now to see her facial expression. Her brows were furrowed like she was upset with herself as she muttered a ‘crap’, “I’m sorry, Jay. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

Blinking, he shakes his head, becoming more alert as he props himself up on an elbow, “Hey, no, you didn’t wake me up.”

It’s a lie and they both know it, but he’ll say anything to make sure she knows that he really doesn’t care about the interruption.

“How long have you been awake?” He asked, glancing at the clock on the nightstand. It was three in the morning.

Hailey does some sort of half-shrug, still laying towards him on her uninjured side, “A few hours I guess.”

Jay frowns, “You could have woken me up a long time ago.”

She still looks a little frustrated at herself, her forehead creased in pain and he knows all too well how brutal the first night out of the hospital can be.

It’s painful, coming off hospital grade pain medication administered through an IV whenever it was needed, having to now rely on low-dosage pills to get through the night.

It’s certainly not a comfortable night, not by a long shot.

And when there aren’t any nurses to answer your every beck and call, you realize just how hard everything is to do by yourself when recovering from an injury.

But she’s not by herself and he’s ready to do anything he can to help her tonight even if it is three am because she was there for him his first night home after getting shot in the shoulder and every other night when an injury was serious enough to warrant a hospital visit since she’d become his partner.

She would sleep on his couch, waking him up in the night to give him another dose of medication even if he didn’t think he needed it and she was there to gently change his bandages with comforting hands and this last time, he could have sworn he’d felt her warm lips touch his forehead as he drifted off to sleep after she’d made him his mom’s soup recipe; it was his favorite and Hailey always made it for him when he got hurt or sick after she’d found out what the recipe meant to him.

But more than that, he cares about her and this is what partners do. They look out for one another.

He’s also quickly realizing how much it hurts to see the girl you’re in love with in pain.

He’s pushing the sheets off of him, already reaching for the bottle of pills sitting on his nightstand, “I should have been more diligent about you taking these pills every four hours.”

He’s a little frustrated with himself for not setting an alarm to give her a dose during the night because now her pain is so bad she can’t sleep. Something he knows she needs to heal quickly.

Hailey carefully rolls on her back, gently holding a hand to her incision and the bruises surrounding it, “Don’t beat yourself up over it, Jay. It’s not your responsibility and I shouldn’t have been so stubborn yesterday.”

“Hey,” He sets the fresh water bottle he’d just grabbed from the fridge on the table next to the pills he’s shaken out before quickly climbing up on the bed to look at her closely.

He wants her to see how serious he is when he says this, “I will take care of you. Every time, any time, anywhere you need me. Even if you don’t think you need me, I will be there. Always, Hailey,” His eyes search hers, “You got me?”

She doesn’t say anything then or protest anymore, just nodding her head and accepting the out-stretched water and pills, quickly throwing them back before handing the bottle back to him.

They stare at each other for a few seconds too long before she blinks and he’s moving to put the half-empty water bottle back on the nightstand. He gets in the bed and waits till Hailey gingerly lowers herself back into the comfort of the mattress before he reaches out and flings the fallen covers over both of them.

He turns out the light he’d flipped on before rolling over to face her. There was a good foot between them, but he never wanted to gather her up in his arms more than he did in this moment, just quietly staring at her in the sliver of moonlight that was cast about the room.

She was breathing shallowly, her arms carefully folded in a comfortable position and her head resting peacefully on her pillow. Her blonde hair was spread out behind her and even though it was messy from sleeping, Jay didn’t think he’d ever seen anything so perfect.

He was staring at her and she was staring at him and even though neither of them had found the courage yet to admit that they fall asleep thinking about each other even when they aren’t together, they both silently knew.

They knew in the way they laughed together and in the way they sit quietly in the truck doing their job and in the way it felt right in this moment.

The world had never felt so right than in this moment, next to each other.

“Favorite memory?” It is whispered into the dark much like she’d said his name not even five minutes ago and if he hadn’t been listening to her quiet breaths, he probably wouldn’t have heard it.

A smile instantly creeps across his face at the question, and he knows he should take a minute to think about the answer to such a difficult question because how can one pick out a single favorite memory among a lifetime of them in such a short amount of time?

But he doesn’t even need a second because the answer is right in front of him.

“This. Now. Anytime I’m with you,” He answers honestly, and it feels like the most direct thing that’s been said between them regarding the feelings they both so clearly have.

He can hear her breath hitch just slightly before she breaths out a chuckle, “That’s not an answer. You gotta pick a moment.”

“Says who?” He challenges with a raised eyebrow she can barely see through the dark.

Hailey gives him a cocky little smirk, “Says me. I’m the one playing your dumb game and I’m the one asking the question, so I should be allowed to make my own rules.”

“I’m sorry. What do you mean by ‘dumb game’? This is one of greatest games of all time,” He mused airily with a hint of fake indignation, “I mean just think of all the great stuff we’ve learned about each other. It’s truly an unmatched bonding experience.”

“Uh-huh,” She couldn’t help but laugh at his overrated words of praise watching as a grin takes over his face.

“Because learning that you used to steal from Will’s hidden candy stash when you were a kid really strengthened our relationship in a special way,” She rolled her eyes.

“Well, it’s not like there’s a lot of stuff you don’t know,” He defended with a pointed look at her.

She’s still grinning that wide smile that says she thinks he’s something else, but she’s so carefree with her sparkling eyes and cheeky dimples, his heart feels like it might burst from his chest at the sight.

He’s leaning on a bent elbow, propping his head up as he gets lost in her and his expression morphs into a soft smile as he thinks about what he just said.

“We’ve spent a lot of hours together, Upton,” His eyes crinkle with fondness and Hailey feels a happy warmth settle over her as she hums in agreement, thinking of all the time they’ve spent telling story after story or just sitting in absolute silence waiting for something to happen.

It’s easy being with him. Has been since the very beginning. Even when they were figuring each other out and dealing with a lot of emotional trauma, there was never any real awkwardness.

He’s comfortable and natural and she’s never had that with anyone. That’s how she knows they are good together and that’s what lets her know that they have the potential to make this last forever.

She almost gives voice to her thoughts. Here, in the dark of a hotel room as they lay in a bed together for the first time, only a few inches separating them, but then Jay slowly starts breathing out the answer to her question and she knows it’s not their time yet even though she desperately wants it to be.

“Remember a few months ago when we all went out to Molly’s after that flesh-eating bacteria debacle?”

Hailey nods. She remembers being overwhelmed at the feeling of being carefree after the stress and terror they had all been put through in the last seventy-two hours. She remembers being thankful that she was alive, but more than that, she remembers being so very relieved that Jay was okay.

She’d had nightmares for months after that where she didn’t make the shot in time, that Jay had infected himself and lost limbs or died because of it.

“And afterwards you wanted ice cream, but everyone else wanted to go home so me and you went to get some?”

She remembers that too.

She doesn’t know why, but she’d had an intense craving for the frozen treat that night and she remembers mentioning it to the team in passing, figuring that she would just stop for a carton from the store on her way home, but then Jay said he would take her and the next thing she knew, they were down at Navy Pier getting ice cream.

She remembers thinking that it felt dangerously like a date and that they were going to get caught for being out past their curfew like a couple of teenagers.

Hailey notices his gentle smile as he gets lost in the memory and she thinks she can just barely see a blush coloring his cheeks. She wonders if he also thought the outing felt a little like they were reckless high schoolers out on a late-night date.

“That’s it. That’s my favorite memory.”

She knew that’s where he was going with this, but she still feels a little shocked hearing it, “That’s your favorite memory?”

If she sounds a little dumbfounded, it’s because she is. She was expecting him to say something about a favorite trip or something with his mom, not some random night where the two of them got ice cream.

“Out of all your memories, that’s the one you’re choosing? What about one of your birthdays or some other special occasion?” She questions again, thinking surely there is something better than a crowded night out in Chicago.

There’s a bashful look on his face, but it doesn’t diminish the contented glimmer in his eyes as he simply nods, “You asked and that’s my answer. Or do you have rules for that too?”

Hailey rolls her eyes, adjusting her head on her pillow, “No. I was just wondering why out of all the nights, that’s the one you picked.”

She doesn’t really expect him to answer, but once again he shocks her when he moves his head just slightly closer to hers and he looks at her like she’s everything he’s ever needed.

“That whole night I remember watching you laugh. Really laugh for the first time in months,” He smiles to himself as he recalls the memory, staring off into the distance, “After everything that happened with Adam and Kelton and then the outbreak, things were finally starting to look up and we were all just so thankful to be out without any stress of a case hanging over our heads.”

Jay shifts his gaze back to hers, “And then we went to get ice cream and we just talked without worrying about our team or being split up or potentially dying from a deadly bacterial infection.”

He takes a breath, “I remember being so grateful and relieved that you were okay after being in isolation, that being with you outside of work, seeing you so happy made me realize how damn lucky I am to have you as not just my partner but as my best friend too.”

Hailey has to blink back tears, not expecting the sentimental response or that it would affect her this much. She reaches out and takes the hand he has laying on the mattress, “You’re my best friend too, Jay. I hope you know that.”

She thinks she sees his eyes flit down to her lips and she thinks that this might be it, that he was getting ready to kiss her, but then he doesn’t, and she tries not to be frustrated at being constantly on edge thinking that each moment is the one that would change her life.

“What about you?” He asks, still holding the hand she placed in his.

“My favorite memory?” She arches eyebrow and he nods as she rolls slightly onto her back, staring up at the ceiling to think before answering.

Like Jay, she doesn’t have to think long, “That time I got really sick with the flu and you came over to fix me your mom’s soup recipe.”

It is his turn to look skeptical of her response, echoing the words she’d said to him, “That’s your favorite memory?”

“Yeah,” She nods before turning her head to look at him, “Even though I felt so crappy, I remember thinking that that was the first time that anyone had taken time out of their day to take care of me like that.”

“Hailey….” Jay breathed out, squeezing her hand as a feeling of protectiveness swept over him, his heart aching to hear that that was the first time she’d ever felt cared for while being sick.

“You made me feel safe when I wasn’t feeling good and in a vulnerable position,” She looks at him fervently, “You make me feel safe, Jay. On the job, when I’m not feeling well, and I’ve never had that before.”

He has that same look from the bar when she’d told him about how her dad would hit her mom and how she’d wished someone would come put her father in his place like Jay did with Shane.

What she didn’t tell him then was that even though Jay wasn’t around when she was a little girl to save her, he had already saved her by just being the kind of man he was.

The man who was selfless in his actions and who was brave without need of recognition, who was patient with his words and slow to anger.

So different from her dad.

From any man she’d met really, especially being in a highly competitive male-dominated career.

Jay’s forehead is creased like it does when he is distressed, so Hailey smiles at him and tries to lighten the mood, “I know what you’re thinking, and it wasn’t all bad. My brothers tried to be there for me, and we had fun when we could.”

She smiles, a little melancholy thinking of the brothers that she’d roughhoused with when she was younger and feels that little pang of sadness when she remembers they are not nearly as close as they were when they were kids, but regardless she knows she wants to let Jay in, so she chuckles to herself and starts to offer some insight to the good parts of her childhood.

“We used to build pillow forts all the time,” Hailey snuggles down into the bed, grinning as she recalls the all the messes they made in their hidden sanctuary that was the attic.

That’s where they would go when they wanted to pretend that they had a normal childhood. No one ever went up there except for them and it was fairly soundproof, so they felt safe to have a little fun without their father hearing.

“We would take all of the pillows and sheets and blankets off of our beds and haul them up the ladder leading to our attic and then my brothers would hang the sheets from the rafters, and we would pile the pillows underneath so we had a soft place to lay.”

There is a soft smile playing at Jay’s lips now and she’s glad she is sharing this rare piece of childhood wonder with him.

She wonders if he is imagining a little girl with blonde pigtails and a wide smile and some part of her hopes that that little girl is not her, but another little girl that plays with her siblings and instead of blue eyes she has green with two parents who are laughing right alongside her.

“I would crawl under those blankets and pretend like it was my mansion and that my brothers were my servants,” Jay laughs at this and Hailey gives a rueful smile, “Most of the time they were happy to indulge and if my oldest brother was in a really good mood, he was usually persuaded into reading to us younger kids.”

Jay smirks, “Now why do I get the impression that you had all your brothers wrapped around your little finger?”

She smirks right back, “Well, it’s not my fault that I was just so dang cute.”

“No, no it’s not,” He says softly, his expression suddenly so open and vulnerable she can’t help but blush.

She yawns, a sudden wave of exhaustion washing over her, and it effectively breaks any moment they were about to have as a smirk reappears on Jay’s face, “Looks like the meds are starting to kick in.”

Hailey noticed that the sharp, throbbing pain she’d woken up with had lessened to a dull ache and that her head was starting to feel fuzzy, so she knew he was right.

Yawning again, she let her eyes close, humming, “Tell me another story about you and Will.”

She hears him shift, and she knows he is settling into the pillows before his gentle voice overtakes her senses and she’s carried off with dreams of little Halstead boys with green eyes and red hair.[EF1] 

*

She’s woken by a beam of sunlight shining straight into her eyes and the last thing she remembers is listening to Jay’s soothing voice as he told her about the time he fell out of his second-story bedroom window because Will had reversed all the locks in the house as a prank and he was trying to get out.

Apparently, the only thing that had saved him from breaking something was the shed that was under his window and Hailey remembered thinking as she drifted off to sleep that it truly was a wonder that Jay had lived this long between his childhood misadventures and his penchant for getting shot in adulthood.

Turning, she is half-expecting to find him asleep beside her, but he is not there, and the mattress is cold enough that she knows he’s been gone for a while. One look at the clock tells her he has because it’s ten AM and she’s never known the man to sleep past six.

True, she’s not well-acquainted with his sleeping schedule, but she knows enough about him to know that his time in the army instilled early morning habits. Even if he was injured and she was staying with him she would find him awake by at least seven.

Carefully stretching, Hailey is pleased to find herself in significantly less discomfort than she’s experienced over the past few days and she’s hopeful that she will be able to be more mobile than she was yesterday.

She slowly pushes herself upright and looks around for any sign of Jay. His wallet and watch are missing from the nightstand and the door to the bathroom is open, so she feels safe assuming that he has gone out somewhere.

Her stomach growls and she hopes he is getting them breakfast.

It is then that she notices all the chairs and tables have been pushed to the middle of room and there are sheets stretched out over them in a semblance of a fort. The pillows that they weren’t using were thrown underneath and she feels tears prick her eyes because of course, Jay would make her a pillow fort after learning what they meant to her.

Throwing back the covers, she gently swings her legs over the edge of the bed to stand up, rubbing her eyes as a grin makes its way onto her face. She wasn’t lying when she’d told him that pillow forts were something that brought back good memories of her brothers, but she has a feeling that they may be taking on a whole new meaning to her from now on.

Of Jay and hotel rooms and lazy mornings. And if things fall into place, sometime in the future they will mean living rooms and slow kisses and little feet.

Her gaze catches the book lying on her nightstand. Her eyes sparkle as she grabs it and makes her way over to the fort, carefully squatting down so she could crawl underneath the ‘roof’ made of white sheets held up by chairs and heavy objects.

Settling comfortably on her back in the midst of the pillows piled on the floor, Hailey opens her book to her last marked page and gets lost in the world of Farewell to Arms.

*

She doesn’t know how much time has passed before her ears prick up at the sound of the hotel door being opened. She listens as Jay swings it open, catching it before it slams back into the latch as he softly calls out her name.

Staying quiet, she hears the crinkle of bags being sat on the kitchen countertop, Jay calling out her name a second time before he’s silent again, his footfalls coming closer to her spot under his fort.

She watches as his legs appear in her line of vision, his head suddenly making an appearance a few seconds later when he swoops down.

Hailey grins, “Hi.”

Jay grins back in amusement, “Hi,” He squats down in front of her, still just outside the fort, “I take it you found my surprise?”

“Mmhm,” She hums, the sparkle in her eyes softening sincerely, “Thank you, Jay. And not just for this, but for everything you’ve done for me.”

He shakes his head, “Hailey,” He pauses and huffs out an incredulous chuckle, “you don’t ever have to thank me.”

Unexpected tears spring in her eyes as his words touch her in a way she can’t quite describe. She ducks her head and blinks rapidly, trying to dissipate them before clearing her throat and looking back at Jay.

She uses her head to gesture at the space beside her and arches an eyebrow, “You coming in or what?”

Jay laughs, rolling his eyes as he slips off his shoes and carefully maneuvers his tall frame under the sheet roof.

Laying down next to her, he notices the book laying loosely in Hailey’s hands. He nods to it, giving it a pointed glance before looking at her and smirking playfully, “You want me to read to you?”

This time, she rolls her eyes and lets her body sway to gently bump him, “You want to read Ernest Hemingway to me?”

Shrugging, he plucks the book out of her hands and flips through it, “You got anything else?”

“No,” She shakes her head, “It’s the only thing I brought.”

Jay sighs as he looks at the title ruefully, “A Farewell to Arms, Hailey. Really? This is like the most depressing book on the planet.”

Frowning, she gives him an affronted look, “This is one of my favorites!”

He raises his eyebrows, shaking his head in disbelief, “I will never understand it, but okay,” He opens the book again, thumbing through the pages trying to distinguish what part she’s at because almost all the pages are dog tagged from overuse, “Where are you at?”

She diverts her gaze quickly, scrunching up her nose sheepishly before giving him a wry look, “I just got to book five.”

Jay gives her a look that says ‘really’ and huffs out a sigh as he turns to the last section, “I mean the whole book is depressing, but this is arguably the worst part.”

“But it’s so good, Jay,” She insisted, settling her head down into the pillows waiting for him to start reading.

He shakes his head again but turns his gaze to the page and starts to read, his voice gentle and lilting. Hailey thinks she could listen to him read to her for a lifetime and never get tired of hearing him.

He reads about the Henrys living in their cabin and then about Catherine preparing for the baby. When he gets to the part where she goes into labor, Jay notices a melancholy look in Hailey’s eyes as she lays quietly listening next to him, playing with her loose hair as she looks up at the billowing, white sheet.

Then he gets to the part where the doctor wants to do a C-Section and Jay swears he hears Hailey sniffling when he gets to the part where the nurse tells Frederic that the baby was dead.

He is almost to the end now, and he is surprised to find himself choking up just slightly as he reads line after line of Frederic pleading with God to save his wife. Hailey is definitely tearing up at this point and when he reads the last couple of lines, she wipes away the tears and sighs as he closes the book, clearing his own throat.

They lay there in silence for a few minutes before Jay feels like he can speak after going through that emotional rollercoaster of an ending, “God, Hailey, how do you like this?”

She shrugs, turning her head towards him and he’s slightly surprised at how close they were. If he wanted, he could barely dip his head and be kissing her.

“It’s beautiful in a gut-wrenching kind of way,” Her eyes have this inquisitive look in them, and it reminds him of how she looks when she’s going over files, trying to piece together backgrounds for motives.

He can’t help but scoff at her response, “It’s devastating is what it is. I mean the poor guy survived the war just to have his wife and child die all in one day.”

He shudders, rapidly pushing the unbidden, very unwanted image of Hailey in the same situation. God, he couldn’t even imagine, and he and Hailey were just barely on the cusp of being together.

“But it’s life,” She offers softly, a knowing look on her face and this time the look in her eyes is of someone who has seen a lot of death and unfair endings, “We know all too well how cruel this world can be.”

Jay sighs in acknowledgement, letting his head drop as they both quietly think about Hailey’s loaded statement.

He puts the book out of the way and rolls onto his side so he’s fully facing her, “Life is cruel, but it can be really beautiful too. Even in the pain.”

Hailey is quiet for a moment as she watches him, contemplating his words before she cocks her head, a strange little smile on her face, “Who knew Jay Halstead could be such a philosopher.”

Jay can’t help chuckle, his eyes crinkling merrily as he teases, “Who knew Hailey Upton could be such a sentimentalist.”

She rolls her eyes playfully, “I guess your game was good for something then. We are just partners; I guess we don’t know everything.”

She said it teasingly because they both know that they knew the things that mattered, but then Jay looks at her and she can’t quite make out the expression on his face.

“I guess so,” He murmurs back, their eyes locking, and Hailey can feel her smile fading from her face as Jay’s gaze darts to her lips.

She felt like she couldn’t breathe.

The air had shifted from light and playful into something of hopeful anticipation as they both held their breath because this was it. Somehow, she knew that this was the moment they both have been waiting for.

“Hailey,” The way he says it brings her back to flying bullets and quiet break rooms; to teary eyes and soft whispers when the threat of being spilt up was very real and too overwhelming to think about.

He’d said her name then just like he was saying it now, breathy and gentle and maybe even a little bit scared. And just maybe, Hailey thought, they had been on the edge of this for far longer than she’d even realized.

“You know, I think I have just one more question for you,” It was barely a whisper, his minty breath ghosting over her face.

Her own shallow breathing had nothing to do with her bruised ribs and stitched side but everything to do with the way his forehead was almost touching hers as they lay on their sides underneath the fort made from sheets and pillows.

The joking and the laughter and the bright sunlight of a hopeful day shining through the white sheets, surrounding her and she feels it in her bones that this is the monumental moment of their great love story—the start of a beautiful life bursting with love and tears and pain and joy and pillow forts and all the things that come with loving each other; of building a family together.

Her eyes were lidded as she looked into those brilliant green irises that she loved so much, and the feeling of warmth and affection and pure adoration washed over her as Jay’s gaze dropped to her lips before his eyes closed completely, slowly breathing her in.

Their lips were almost touching now as they lay in the quiet of a lazy afternoon of an ordinary Sunday afternoon and it was in the way it was just so natural, so comforting that made her feel like she’d just had a glass of warm milk and was now tucked up in bed.

But that tingling feeling she had low in her belly and rushing through her bones was so much better than she’d ever felt before and she knew it was much more than just an ordinary Sunday—it was an extraordinary Sunday.

“And what question would that be?” She was almost afraid to talk even at a whisper for fear of breaking the spell they were under, but the barely murmured question was filled with hope and love and affection, adding a deeper layer of warmth to the bubble they had created.

“Are we only just partners?” His nose skimmed hers as he moved his head slightly, his slightly open lips almost touching her cheek in the barest hints of a kiss.

Hailey hummed, letting out a soft little sigh as she gently ran her hands up Jay’s torso, stopping at his chest, her touch light and soft.

“Do only just partners fly all the way to New York?” It was a rhetorical question spoken in hushed tones as Jay gently nuzzled her neck before bringing his head back up to gaze at her, their lips once again mere millimeters apart. She swallowed faintly, “Because I think we both know that we aren’t just partners.”

His eyes held soft tenderness and fierce devotion, the quiet future she’d dreamed for them reflecting so clearly back at her. The pads of his fingertips touched her cheek so scarcely it almost tickled, “I’d follow you anywhere, Hailey. To New York, back to Chicago,” His gaze burned into hers and she knew he was getting ready to say the words she’d been hoping to hear for so long.

She felt the fingers of his other hand tangle with hers by their sides, “To the edge of the universe and everywhere in between. Wherever you are, I am, because you are the person I always want to come home to.”

She felt the promises land on her lips more than she heard them, his voice was so soft and quiet. And Hailey thought it was perhaps the most intimate she’d ever been with a person.

It was vulnerable and gentle and warm and just pure, unadulterated love, and she knew she would never be able to put this feeling or this moment into words, but she knows that this is where she belongs; next to him, in his arms, his heart beating under her palm.

She barely had time to whisper, “Oh Jay” before his lips were softly pressing against hers in an intentional kiss instead of fleeting brushes. It was unhurried and really quite innocent as far as kisses go, but she’d never felt more cherished than she did in that moment.

His lips just barely moved against hers, languidly filling her up as he kissed her in the way one would savor the taste of something new yet familiar.

A last first kiss.

Jay pulled back slightly, their lips still touching as he looked at her, his strong but gentle hand cupping one of her cheeks, “Because you are my home. The person I want to share it all with—the joy and the pain. The person I want to tell my secrets to. To whisper all the hopes and dreams and promises. And that’s why I love you.”

Maybe he’s crazy for telling her what he so deeply feels in his heart right away, but then he looks at her and he knows it isn’t. They were already closer than most couples ever are, and he thinks that’s what makes them so special—so different from any other relationship he’s ever had.

It isn’t crazy because it’s true and they are them.

He knows she’s already seen the truth in his eyes anyway.

*

When Jay walks into the hotel room later that day, arms laden with Greek takeout, he does he wanted to do last night and calls out a ‘honey, I’m home’ in a teasing manner.

Hailey smiles at him brightly, her eyes shining with the laughter that’s so clearly on her face, and he can’t help but drop a kiss on her dimpled cheek, marveling at the way tonight was so vastly different from the night before.

It was so easy now, to just drop a kiss to her cheek or her lips whenever he wanted, like he’d been doing it for years and yet, he still had that buzzy feeling of anticipation that he’d had this morning when he kissed her for the first time.

Something tells him that it’s going to always feel like that when kissing her no matter how many times he does it over the course of their lifetimes and that thought alone sends his heart racing and makes him think dangerous things like rings and vows and forevers.

He knows, he knows, it’s definitely way too early for those types of thoughts, but then again, that has never stopped him from imagining a future with her before. Before they were even together. But now they are, and it’s proving difficult to not think about the thing that he’s wanted for so long is realistically and finally within his grasp.

“What?” She’s cocking her head, her lips quirking up in a question and he realizes he’s been staring at her for the past couple of minutes.

Jay shakes his head, lips quirking up in a smile of his own, “Nothing.”

Hailey gives him an inquisitive look like she’s not entirely sure she believes him, but the grin on her face tells him she’s too happy to care. She turns back to where she is gingerly picking up the room, gathering their collective dirty laundry to throw in the washing machines downstairs and he is suddenly, once again struck with the thought of this is what he wants his future to look like.

“What are we gonna do for the next couple of days? I’m probably not up for traipsing all over New York, but we should do something other than stay in this hotel room.”

Her back is to him as she talks and continues to tidy the messy room, leaving the fort for now, but gathering up a few pillows that are laying on the floor to throw back on the bed.

“We’d both go crazy, especially considering I’m not allowed to do anything ‘physically active’ which is, not going to lie, kind of a bummer seeing as how I’ve waited for ages for you to make a move and we’re here totally alone with nothing to potentially interrupt us,” She rattles on casually like she’s talking about the weather and while he is also bummed at not being able to take that final step of being together totally and completely for another couple of weeks, he is thrilled that they have this time together to get to know each other as a couple.

There are more intimate things than just sex and those are the moments he is looking forward to. He wants to know what she finds romantic and how much she likes to cuddle and if she hogs the blankets at night or if her feet get cold.

Things that only a boyfriend would know.

He realizes she’s stopped talking and is looking at him again, this time with an eyebrow raised in exasperation, “Jay! Have you been listening to me at all?”

He blinks and shakes his head sheepishly, knowing she must have been waiting on an answer to a question he hadn’t heard.

Her eyes furrow inquisitively as she shakes her own head in slight amusement before turning back to her task, muttering something about how he was an idiot, but she loves him anyway.

“Hailey,” He blurts it out, like he’s desperate, like if he doesn’t say what he wants now then he’s afraid it’ll never happen. She looks back at him again, this time with a hint of concern on her face, but he’s just looking at her like a man in love and she’s his whole world.

“Let’s get married.”

*

“Well, look who it is! The elusive damsel and her brooding knight in shining armor,” Adam exclaimed, his arms flung out wide as Jay and Hailey made their way up the steps and into the bullpen.

Hailey glared at him, but the smile threatening to take over her face ruined the effect, “Ha ha, very funny. A girl goes away for a while and she’s suddenly elusive, she gets hurt and now she’s a damsel.”

She accepts the gentle hug that Adam was offering as Kevin and Kim crowded in behind them at the top of the steps, waiting for their turn to welcome her home.

“Hailey, you can’t ever leave again. Or if you do, you gotta take me with you because one more day alone with these children and I would’ve lost my mind,” Kim insists as she moves in for a hug of her own.

There was a chorus of affronted heys’ from Adam, Kevin and Jay as Hailey chuckled at the desperation in Kim’s voice.

“Also, clearly you need us watching your back because the second you go off without us, you get hurt,” The statement is meant to be funny and it gets the eye-roll it deserves, but Hailey knows this is Kim’s way of saying she’s glad she’s okay.

Hailey is sure had they been alone, Kim would have been more direct with her feelings of relief, but as women in the force, they had to be careful not to exude to much sentimentality even if they know their unit would never use it against them.

“We sure did miss you, girl,” Kevin tells her as he steps up for a hug of his own and she grins into the man’s broad chest when she hears Jay mutter a, “And what am I? Chopped liver?”

Adam starts to tease him, but whatever he was about to say is cut off by Kim’s loud gasp as she all but yanks Hailey’s hand which was still resting on Kevin’s back to her face.

“Oh my God,” The squeal that comes out of her mouth is one none of them had ever heard before as she pulls on Hailey’s arm, bringing her fingers to eyelevel as she narrowed in on something that hadn’t been there before.

“Did you get married?!”

That definitely got the other’s attention, Kevin and Adam’s heads’ immediately snapping over to look at Hailey’s left hand that Kim still had a hold of, “Holy crap, Hailey. You go away for like five weeks and you come back freaking married?”

Hailey tries retracting her hand, but Kim still has a tight hold on it, staring at the engagement and wedding band on her ring finger of her left hand. She opens her mouth to say something, but she doesn’t get very far before Kim’s talking again, “I’m sorry, but who the hell did you marry?”

There is a beat of silence before Adam curses under his breath, muttering a ‘no way’ as he practically leaps across desks to grab Jay’s left hand which was rifling through his duffel bag. Much like Kim did with Hailey, Adam brings Jay’s hand to his face, pulling him half-way across his desk and ignoring his protests.

“Holy no way,” Kim’s eyes were about as wide as saucers as they all glanced back and forth between the two partners.

“You two got freaking married?” Kim says again, her voice at an unnaturally high pitch.

Hailey can’t help but smirk at Kim’s expression as she sits down with her mouth slightly agape and has to suppress a laugh at Kevin and Adam’s matching dumbfounded expressions. She shares a secret look with Jay, the sparkle of laughter evident in his eyes.

She glances over their friends before shrugging and offering a simple, “Surprise!”

“I think I’m going to throw up,” Adam states as he slowly sinks into his desk chair, his face whiter than Hailey had ever seen it.

She knew their news would be a shock, but she didn’t think it warranted this strong of a reaction. Jay sends her another look that says the same thing and she knows he’s about to ask Adam if everything was okay when Kevin starts laughing.

“Oh man. Dude, what did we tell you?” He snorts, holding out an opened palm as Adam looks up at him in disbelief.

“I didn’t think it would actually happen and you told me nothing of the sort,” He defends, looking very uncertain, his eyebrows furrowed in distress.

Swallowing, Adam finally looks at them, flicking his eyes between her and Jay, “You told Trudy, didn’t you? Why would you do that?”

Jay shoots Hailey a look before slowly shaking his head, “No, Adam, we didn’t tell anyone.”

His face goes even whiter than it was before, and he sinks out of his chair to sit on the floor, burying his head in his hands.

Kim’s eyes widened and she looked at Adam warily, “Adam, what did you do?” Her eyes narrowed in alarmed suspension, “Don’t tell me you actually made that bet with Trudy.”

Adam was now lying flat on his back in the floor, his head moving back and forth in misery as he groaned, “I thought I had it in the bag. I mean, if Jay and Hailey didn’t tell her then how the hell did she come up with exactly what happened? That’s one hell of a coincidence.”

Kevin shook his head in slightly terrified admiration, “I don’t know, man. Trudy Platt is as mysterious as they come, and she has mad skills.”

Hailey’s eyebrows furrow as she watches Adam’s dramatics play out in front of her, “What bet? What are you guys talking about?”

Kim and Kevin share a look, ignoring Adam who was still moaning in disbelief on the floor behind his desk and at Kevin’s shrug, Kim looks back at Hailey and Jay.

“Well,” She draws it out like one who is coming clean about something they don’t particularly want to divulge, “We’ve had bets going for a while on when you two were going to get together because we all knew this was going to happen sooner or later and we decided the other day that it was going to be sooner rather than later because of the whole New York thing.”

“And somehow Trudy ended up pitching the idea of you guys eloping and I guess Adam was stupid enough to take the bet,” She purses her lips, “Not that any of us actually thought you were going to get married. Together, yes, but married?”

Kim trails off and Hailey’s eyebrows arch warily, “Wait a second. What do you mean ‘we all knew this was going to happen sooner or later’? Because to be completely honest, I didn’t even know if it was going to happen till a few days ago.”

“Girl,” Kevin shakes his head and uncrosses his arms to put his hands in his pockets, “You have no idea the amount of gossip you guys generate down in patrol. You two are like a freaking slow-burn romance novel,” At Kim’s odd look he hurries to add, “Not that I know anything about those. That’s just what Vanessa says and honestly, this whole thing was started by her so you can just go find her in whatever undercover operation Narcotics has her in and bring it up with her.”

There is a slightly uncomfortable pause as Hailey and Jay take in the information that they are already a source of gossip in the district, but it’s broken by another one of Adam’s distressed groans.

“Man,” Jay looks over at him, his eyebrows arching like he was finally fed up with his friends’ bemoaning, “What the hell kind of deal did you make with Trudy.”

Kim crosses her arms, also clearly unimpressed, “You know, I’d also like to know what has you rolling around like you’re in state mourning.”

“I didn’t think they were actually going to get married, or I would have never made the bet,” Adam insists again, running his hands over his face, “I owe her a months’ worth of drinks at Molly’s, and I have to do school crossings for the rest of the school year.”

Jay laughs, “Oh man,” He shakes his head in amusement, “You do realize it’s only February, right?”

Adam glared at him, “Oh shut up.”

Clambering to his feet in a huff of despair, he heads dejectedly towards the stairs, “I guess I’d better go settle up before Platt comes up here to rub it in my face.”

They watch him go, each trying to hold in snorts of laughter before he disappeared around the corner and Kevin turns back to where Hailey and Jay have taken up residence at Hailey’s desk.

“I still can’t believe you two are actually married,” He rubs his face briefly with an astonished huff of laughter, “Together, I could believe. In fact, I have money on it, but married? Like, what inspired you to skip the dating phase?”

Hailey and Jay share an amused look, her expression changing imperceptibly before Jay turns back to Kim and Kevin, “I guess we should probably come clean.”

They look a little confused for a moment before Kim creases her forehead skeptically, “Wait a second,” Her eyes widen in realization before she slowly starts to speak, “Are you telling us that was all a joke?”

“Well,” Hailey smirks, starting to remove the wedding and engagement bands on her finger as Jay did the same with the wedding band he was wearing, “The married part was a joke but the together part,” She looks at Jay and he gives her a soft smile full of warmth and love, “That’s for real.”

“Wait, seriously?” Kevin gave an impressed grin, chuckling, “So, Adam didn’t really lose that bet?”

Jay shrugged, grinning, “No, not technically,” He winks, “but we don’t need to tell him that.”

“I honestly can’t believe that turned out as well as it did,” Hailey shakes her head in disbelief, “We had no idea Adam had made that bet with Trudy. We just thought it was too good of an opportunity to pass up.”

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t because that was entertaining as hell and I for one am going to enjoy watching Adam carry out a bet he actually didn’t lose,” Kim flops down in her desk chair, powering up her computer as she laughs.

Kevin follows suit, laughing as they all turn to their computers to start the workday. They have to smother snickers when half an hour later, Adam trudges up the steps with a smug looking Trudy Platt following him, rattling off his new school crossing schedule.

*

“I can’t tell you how good it feels to be back,” Hailey sighs, leaning into Jay as they walk out of the district and into the roll-up, Jay’s arm slung around her shoulders.

He kisses the side of her head, “It feels good to have you back. I know I’ve said this before, but nothing was the same while you were gone. I hope everything will start to go back to normal now that you’re here with me.”

Hailey suddenly extracts herself out from under his arm and puts a good couple of inches distance in between them. Jay frowns, confused at her sudden coldness, “Hailey?”

“What?” She gives him an innocent look, a smile starting to tug at her lips, “You said you hope things go back to normal. This is normal for us.”

Jay gives her an unimpressed look, “Ha ha. Very funny. You know what I meant.”

She chuckles and lets Jay sling his arm over her shoulders again as they continue to walk over to where he parked the truck earlier.

“A new normal then,” He amends, “One where I get to kiss you and touch you and tell you how much I love you.”

Nestling her head into his shoulder, she looks up at him with a heartfelt smile, “Sounds good to me.”

They are at the truck now and Jay walks with her to the passenger’s side before stopping to turn and face her, his hands coming to rest on her upper arms. He takes a breath and Hailey’s eyebrows furrow at the almost nervous expression he is wearing, “I know that whole marriage thing today was a joke, but I meant what I said while we were in New York.”

Hailey remembers the initial shock she felt when Jay had blurted out that they should get married as they stood in their hotel room mere hours after their first kiss. He hurried to add that he meant sometime in the future, but he wanted to let her know how serious he was about this relationship even if it was way to early by most standards to be talking about marriage.

She’d listened to him ramble on uncharacteristically about how he loved her, that she was it for him and he just wanted her to know that. That one day in probably the near future he wanted to ask her for real and he hoped beyond all belief that she would say yes because he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her but even if she didn’t want to get married, he was okay with that. He just wanted to be with her on any terms.

After she got over the surprise of his statement, she found that she wasn’t frightened by how fast things seemed to be moving and if it had been anyone other than Jay, she knew deep in her bones that she would be running for the hills at even the hint of marriage.

But it was Jay and if she were being honest, she would’ve married him back in New York if he’d asked her to and she would marry him tomorrow if he dropped down on his knee right now to propose to her.

Jay swallowed and she could see his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down, “You are it for me and someday, I’m going to ask you to marry me. I hope to God you say yes, but I want you to know that as long as I’m with you, my life is filled with purpose, so we don’t need to define anything with a piece of paper or anything. I just need you to know how serious I am about this.”

“Jay,” She interjects softly, placing a hand on his chest over his rapidly beating heart, “Today, tomorrow, ten years from now. If and whenever you ask me,” She smiles gently as she moves to cup his stubbled cheek, “My answer will always be yes.”

I hope the ending wasn’t too cringy, but I had to end it somewhere lol! As always, let me know what you thought!

Love you all and can’t wait to see you for my next project!

[endydancer1]

We used to be strangers | Part 4

Pairing: Tom Holland x Y/N Lincoln

Summary: Tom has just finished his latest movie and his heading back home to London. While he is passing the high building, suddenly something happens what changes his life completely. What is the shadow up there?

WARNING: Mentions of injuries, blood, depression, thinking of suicide.

..................................................................................

Tom POV:

I walked into the hospital and straightly went to the reception. The nurse immediately recognized me and smiled.

"Good morning, Mr. Holland. You managed to come. I am glad to see you here. Follow me, I will take you to Ms. Lincoln's room." She stood up and led me across the hospital to the room of THAT girl. Miss Lincoln as I learned few seconds  ago.

"She should be up already. So...take your time. She will be glad to see you, I am sure. And it's also nice of you, you bought something for her." the nurse smiled at me, when we stopped at the door.

"Thanks,Mrs.... "I ran my eyes quickly over her scrub looking for the label with her name. I found it!

".. Mrs. Brown. " I returned the smile.

" No problem, Mr. Holland. If you need me, you know where you can find me. " she winked at me and walked away. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

"Come in."

I heard a soft voice and gently push the handle. The girl, lying on the bed immediately caught my eyes. She was.. Beautiful. Even with the cuts on her face and swollen eyes, she was really beautiful and.. Familiar. I must have seen her before. Her face,that eyes, I wouldn't have forgotten such beautiful eyes. Dark blue eyes as a sea after storm, but with a little sparks inside of them. I was standing there for a few seconds which felt like hours, days, years. I would be more than willing to stare at her for the rest of my life. God, what am I doing? I cough and smile a bit.

"Ehm.. Are you... Are you Y/N Lincoln?"

"Yes, that's me. And who are you, may I ask?"

"I am Tom. Tom Holland. I... Saved you, when you, when you... fell." I was a bit nervous. I came to her bed and sit next to her on the hard chair. I put a get well soon card with chocolate and fruit on the bedside table and showed her the bouquet. She was so happy. She smiled wide. My heart skipped a beat. Oh God, why is she so cute? And when I felt her soft lips on my cheek, I reddened in a second. I hadn't felt girl's lips in ages. I realised how much I had missed it. I smiled shyly.

"Eh... The nurse called me yesterday that someone wanted to meet me. I assumed it was you. So...do you need something?" I looked at her and my eyes were running down her face, from forehead to her lips. I stopped there for a little while and then came looking back into her ocean eyes. It was strange. It felt like I had seen these eyes before.

" Uhm.. It's nice to meet you, but... It wasn't me. I've just woken up."

After she said that I felt a strange feeling. I was surprised. Who else would want to talk to me? I don't know anyone here, I wasn't here before and it's quite far from my house.

"Then.. Who? I am sorry, but I don't know anyone here."

"I am sorry, I really don't know. Maybe a nurse or someone? But I am glad you came visit me. And I don't want to bother you anymore. Certainly, you have lot of better things to do than spend time with a stranger in hospital."

"Actually.. I don't. You seem nice and it's not a big deal to spend some time with you,for me. I have nothing to do today. And.. I would like to take you out, for a coffee, maybe? Not like a date, but I want to make sure you are alright."

"Oh.. Really? Okay then, thank you. I would like to grab some coffee with you. But it won't be till at least weeks."

"I understand. And that's okay. Can I come visit you again sometime?"

"Of course! You are more than welcome here. Not like a patient of course!" We both laughed at that comment. So she is not only beautiful. She is also funny. I had to seen her before. This laughter, I heard it before. For sure.

"Haha, yeah. That won't be good. But at least, maybe they will put us into the same room." I joked back.

"I am not sure,darling. There are not mixed rooms in hospital. Since you are not a nurse or a doctor to spend some time in a restroom." She winked at me. We burst into laughter again,tears dropping down from our eyes. But she stopped after a few seconds, because the laughter caused her pain. I immediately stopped too.

" Oh God. Are you okay? Is everything alright? Should I call the doctor?"

"No, no. I am fine. I am doctor too. It's nothing. Just.. The pressure of my muscles when I am laughing can torn the stitches and I would bleed out in a minute."

"I see. So let's postponed our laugh to the café."

"Yeah, I am up for it." She smiled and could see her eyes lit up. She truly seemed happy to talk to me which made me happy too.

"So.. Where are these mixed rooms? In case I need a doctor and can't find anyone." I giggled.

"Oh, really? That's really kind of you." she said with a hight pitched voice and put her hand on her heart.

"I know, I know. I am just perfect. I can't help myself." I signed and shrugged my shoulders. I looked back at her innocently.

She giggled. "Oh yeah. You really are Prince Charming. The rest rooms are at the more quiet side of the hospital. You know, to not hear so much noise."

"From the room or outside the room?"

"Oh God. Good point. Maybe from both?" she covered her mouth why she laughed.

"You are too curious, you know? You are asking me about the room where the future doctors are made."

"Oh really? Do you speak from your own experience?" I chuckled.

"Thomas!" She glanced at me with serious look, but immediately burst into laughter.

"I am sorry, I am sorry. I was just asking." I laughed too.

"Actually..." she looked at me with her innocent eyes.

"WHAT?!"

"Haha. Don't worry, I just wanted to see your reaction. You should have seen yourself."

"Oh God, I am glad. Don't EVER do that again to me. Woah." I put a hand on my heart and pretended to be offended.

"I am sorry, babyboy. I won't. I promise. Don't cry, please." She put her hand on mine. I immediately had goosebumps all over my skin. She squeezed my hand. My gaze was trailing from her fingers, hand, arm.. Neck, to her eyes. I smiled a little. I got lost. Lost in a universe. In a world where I felt happy. Happier than ever before. The happiest. I was staring at the sky, counting little stars. I could see them in her eyes. I could see.. My future in her eyes. I saw.. Myself. The knock on the door snapped me back from daydreaming. When I turned around and looked at the door, there already was doctor standing inside, glancing directly at us. After a few seconds he was staring at us, he finally said: "Are you Mr. Holland? Can I talk to you for second, please? Outside." He went back to the corridor and left the doors opens.

"I'll be right back." I smiled at her and let go of her hand. I stand up and went outside the room.

"Close the door, please." Doctor looked at me strictly.

"Is everything alright, Doctor?" I asked as I held the handle.

"Just closed them!" he said strictly. I was a bit scared and quickly closed the door.

"Thank you. So, Mr. Holland,I am Dr. Melendez. I was operating Ms.Lincoln. She is now stabilized, all her functions are okay. There is no need to worry anymore. I am so thankful you were there and helped her to get to the hospital. Now it's in our hands and I will take care of her. You can go home. You did your job. "

" I am glad she is okay. Actually, it looks like we can be really nice friends. She is nice woman. I would like to stay in touch with her while she is in hospital. "

" It's not necessary anymore, Mr. Holland. I know Y/N and she doesn't like new people. She is not too  sociable. I would recommend you to make sure she is alright and continue to live your life. " he said in a kind of harsh voice.

" Oh really? She actually seemed like she is enjoying my company. She also agreed to take a coffee with me. Thank you for your recommendation, but I am still coming back tomorrow. " I raised my voice a bit.

" Mr. Holland. She is in shock. She is traumatized and need to rest. Without interruptions. I am the one who has Dr. in front of my name, so please.. Go home and not come back. "

" I am sorry Dr.. Melendez. She said she was doctor too and was okay with me being there. If there are some complications, because of my company, I will go home and never come back, okay? But now...I want to spend time with her. You know, I really like her. I would like to know everything about her."

Dr. Melendez clenched his fists and made a step closer to me.

" You know what, Mr. Holland? Why do you think she would date you? You are still a kid. How old are you? Maximum 20. She is grown woman with her own opinions on this world. She is intelligent and has higher standards which you are not included in. We are in the middle of something. There are lots of things going on between me and Y/N. I can offer her much more than you will ever be able to offer in your whole life. Go and find someone in the kindergarten, boy. "

I frowned. If he wasn't a doctor and if it wasn't in the hospital I would punch him in his arrogant face. Y/N would never date someone like this cocky guy, who thinks he owns the world. You better watch your ass, Melendez! You will hear about me, for sure. I turned my back to him and tried to open the door to Y/N's room. He grabbed my arm and turned me to him.

"Where do you think you go?!"

I brushed his hand off. "To say goodbye to my wifey. And take my jacket." I opened the door and walked inside the room. I shook the door in front of Melendez's nose. Y/N looked a bit confused when I came to her.

"What did Neil said to you?"

"Nothing much. He just wanted to thank me I saved you." I smiled politely and put on my jacket.

"I am sorry, love, I have to go now. But maybe..can I get your number please? So I can text you later."

She nodded yes immediately and reached out for my phone. I started to look for it and finally found it in the back pocket of my jeans. I handed it to her. She typed her number in.

" Thank you for your visit. And for the gifts. You are really nice. I will wait for your text."  She smiled once again. I immediately melted after this smile. I smiled back and walked to the door. As I was about to leave she called my name.

"Tom?"

"Yes, Y/N?"

"Can I see you tomorrow, please?"

"Of course, darling. I'll be here."

[bellasharifuddin]

The Day I Became a Mother

It’s been a while since I last post anything here, typing feels awkward as well. But this has always been a thing that I wanted to do since the day I’ve given birth, to document and blog about my pregnancy and my birth journey, so in 4-5 years to come when my memories fade, I can always come back to reminisce every detail that I keep here, like a memory capsule. 

The Day I Found Out I Was Pregnant. 

You know, when people say that when you have a strong intuition about something, trust your gut feeling, because it’s often true. Mirin and I have always talked about having kids, me wanting a baby so much within months after we got married, however, Mirin having second thoughts about it. We were both married for less than a year, sleeping on a toto without a mattress or a bed, living in the deep slum of Wangsa Maju area where the rats are larger than the cats. Hahaha. Naturally, given our circumstances, he’d want to take things slow. 

Fast forward to a couple of months, we went out for some steaks and karaoke on a weekend night. I told mirin to stop by Watsons, for me to buy a pregnancy test kit. Mirin didn’t question much, because occasionally I would randomly buy one, just for fun. But this time, I didnt just get one. I ended up buying three. Why? Because somehow, I had a strong feeling this time. I just felt... weird. It was a feeling that I can’t put it into words. 

We came home at midnight, I went to the bathroom too “pee on the stick”. Then I saw the first line... a few seconds later comes the second one. Oh my god. Okay. I knew Mirin was standing outside the toilet door, waiting. Eventually, I had to break the news to him. When I showed to Mirin, we both ended up hugging and crying. Was I happy? Was I in shock? Was I sad? Yes, a little bit of everything. Its funny that all you’ve wanted was a baby, then when it actually happens, suddenly you’re freaked out. Happy that its a blessing. Sad that it hits you without a warning. 

                                                      Pregnant!

When the morning sickness finally kicked in, I knew we couldn’t live in the current house. Its not the best place to raise a child. And the next-door neighbor was having major renovation that was super loud and noisy. After sleepless nights and searching for a new place, we eventually moved out. Bought our first bed, bought our first dining table, bought our first gas stove. A many of firsts. Soon we finally bought a baby cot from Ikea. We bought it too early. Although it was too early to put it up, but Mirin assembled it anyways. I could tell that he was excited. It was such a fun and exciting moment, for the both of us.

But those were the fun part. Like most pregnancies, the not so fun part about being pregnant was me being diagnosed with Pregnancy Hypertension during my 36th week of pregnancy. My blood pressure spiked up to 140/100 on two consecutive readings, and the next thing I know, that I’m sitting in an ambulance, on my way to Hospital Kuala Lumpur’s emergency building. 

                     At Hospital Kuala Lumpur. Waiting for an available bed

                  Mirin bought me the entire family mart food available xD

I spent 3 nights in their maternity wards, finally discharged after the doctor told me that I was clear to go. While I was in the hospital, it pains me to see new mothers struggling during the COVID19 pandemic. Throughout your stay, no visitations were allowed from anyone including your husband. If your baby cries or if you’re in pain, you’d have figure it out yourself. I remember praying to god while crying that I do not want to be induced there. The ward was stuffy and hot. There were too many people crammed in a room. It was hell. 

The Day That I Give Birth

One week after my discharge, we both went for my monthly checkup with my OBGYN at Pantai. Again, my doctor advised me to be induced tomorrow, since my blood pressure spiked again, and I was almost full term (38 weeks) so it was okay to go. She told me that “It’s best to get the baby out or else you boleh kena sawan” OMG Okay okay. So we packed our bags, ate sushi for dinner, slept soundly for the very last time, and headed to the hospital again at 9 am the next morning. 

                         Induction day. We definitely overpacked haha

       Arrived at the hospital lobby, did a mandatory swab test before entering

Appointment card. Booked and paid for the accommodations prior to checking in

I was told to change into my labor robe (I’m not too sure what it’s called), and waited. When my doctor finally arrived, she then began to insert some sort of a plastic strip deeeeeep into my cervix. Ouch, that hurts. Okay, so that’s how induction works eh? Then I was given antibiotics into my IV drip too, since I was GBS (Group-B Strep) Positive as well. 

                                Toilet selfie! Calm before the storm

After an hour, I felt the contraction. Initially it was uncomfortable, then it hurts like hell. The contractions felt like period pain but like a million times worse. Occasionally, Doctor Haslinda would come and check on my “bukaan”. Hours passed. 1cm... 2cm... 3cm.... when I finally said:

“Omg sakit sangat dah tak tahan, I want an epidural!“

Ok no, that was a lie. I initially didn’t want to take an epidural. I wanted to try and bear with the pain, but Mirin convinced me to take it, so after tossing and turning like a dying fish I finally said okay. 

The anesthesiologist came after what felt like an eternity, and asked me to sign a consent form. I’m not really sure what was written in that. Siapa je ada masa nak baca terms and conditions panjang panjang bila tengah contractions??? 

He told me to sit on the edge of the bed, while hugging a pillow. I remembered him injecting some numbing spray, then I felt the BIG NEEDLE poking through my spine. Then.. that was it. It was so fast. The entire process took only 5 mins. Was it painful as I thought it would be? No. Was it still scary tho? Yep hahaha.

Soon after, Dr Haslinda pecahkan air ketuban when I was 4cm dilated. It didnt hurt because I was on epidural, but I felt so much warm liquid flowing out non-stop. So bizarre. 

Once you’re on epidural, you’re basically bed-ridden. No bathroom trips anymore, my legs feel like jelly. Sometimes the nurse will come to empty my bladder with a catheter. When the epidural kicked in, I could finally sleep. I slept like a baby. I slept for hours. Painless. No more feeling like a dying fish. And so I thought.............

3am. I woke up with INTENSE CONTRACTION PAIN. Why is it so painful? I thought I’m on epidural? I called the nurse straight away. Turned out the epidural drug ran out. It was sooo stressful because the nurse that was on duty that night didn’t know how to topap balik the epidural drug into the machine. She called her colleague, then the colleague also tak tahu. Then both of them spent like forever to troubleshoot how to use the machine, sampai lastly kena call doctor tanya. YA ALLAH, rasa macam nak maki je. 

7am the next day. Bukaan baru 7-8cm. Doctor decided to use another form of induction to speed up the process. It’s called pitocin, and injected through my IV drip. Within MINUTES, I could feel very intense and painful contractions, that the epidural can’t even help. So throughout the remaining 7cm to 10cm, I felt every inch of real labor pain. I clenched Mirin’s hand. So tightly that I think it got bruised. A minute felt like an hour, and an hour felt like years. It was soo bad that my memory was so fuzzy. 

Finally, it was 10cm. Time to go. They put both of my legs up, macam gambar bawah ni haha: 

                                      Picture courtesy from Google

There were two nurses, one small cute Malay nurse, one pregnant Indian nurse, and my OBGYN, Dr Haslinda. I love them all, they were so supportive and nice to me throughout my labor process. My doctor taught me how to push correctly:

“Take a deeeeeeep breath then tahan, clench your fists, chin down and teran macam nak berak sekuat-kuat hati“

I was so determined to get the baby out. I just wanted the contraction pain to end. I did everything they told me to do. I hold on to Mirin’s hand, and PUSHHHHHHHEDDDDDD! I could hear Mirin saying “You’re doing great sayang!” After several pushes, and some sips of water breaks, the baby’s head is almost out. The head was the hardest to push. Besar! I literally felt like my down there was stretching to its limit. Once the head is out, I did another small push, and the rest of the baby’s body macam keluar instantly macam super slimy like that haha. 

Finally the baby is out! 8.26AM! The contractions stopped immediately. I instantly feel like I wasn’t pregnant anymore. The doctor then injected something on my thigh, then my uri just popped right out haha. My body felt so tired, but so so light. Lega, yay no longer pregnant haha. I ended up having second degree perineal tear without an episiotomy, and was stitched. I felt the benang, ngilu. I felt the needle pierced through my muscles too. But it didnt hurt so it wasn’t too bad. 

The baby gets cleaned up. Then soon all of the nurses left the labor room, it was just me, Mirin and our baby. Mirin picked her up, and azankan. Mirin started crying, I cried too. It was magical :’)

We did skin to skin and tried breastfeeding for the first time. As I look at her, hair was so thick. Her cute little fingers. Her beautiful face. She’s perfect. 

                            I slept for 5 hours straight after the labor

Thinking back, I have no idea how I managed to muster such courage to go through all these. Mirin even told me that during the active labor stage, when I was pushing, at one point I pushed so hard that my entire face turned blue. Talk about adrenaline.

Do I want to have another baby? Well, lets keep a rain check on that question for another few more years to come xD

[animeniacss]

A Palette of Emotions - Artist!Taehyung x Teacher!Reader - Chapter 14 - A Unique Idea

Synopsis: Taehyung dreams of being a professional and famous artist one day, but finds that the sea of creativity can be lurking with blood hungry sharks, as well as bland, motionless starfish. Swimming through the sea of opportunities somehow washed him up onto the shore of Bright Star Preschool, as an art teacher. This wasn’t where he expected to be 4 years into his career, but anything to get his big break though, right?

Feat. BTS, TXT, ITZY, Jisoo (BlackPink), Taeyong (NCT)

Genre: Romance, Slow Burn, Love Triangle, Drama, School Setting, Working!AU

Length: approx. 5.7k words

Chapter 14 - A Unique Idea 

“Hey, Taehyung.” You hummed. Taehyung glanced up in your direction, as he closed the dress-up box behind him. The day had come to an end, and the kids left in stitches at the sight of their teachers dressed up as characters from their favorite story. Dropping the final item of his costume into the box, he closed it up, before turning to you fully. Hoseok, who was washing up the tables for the day, glanced up as well when he heard you begin to start a conversation.

“What’s up?” he asked curiously. For a moment, you didn’t say anything, pulling your braid over your shoulder. Taehyung glanced over at Hoseok for a moment, wondering if he, in any way, could telepathically tell Taehyung what you were about to say. Hoseok simply shrugged. That didn’t help ease Taehyung’s nerves at all. You glanced at him as you turned to the board lifting an eraser from the holder at the bottom.

“How was your dinner Friday night? What did you order?” Taehyung blinked, having to take a moment to think back to the previous Friday night. Almost as quickly as he began to think about it, a vision of your two eyes staring directly back at him as he exited the restaurant, eyes that he was surprised he had even forgotten about over the weekend.

“Huh? Oh yeah! Uhm well…I got steak and-.”

“Were you following me after I told you to mind your business?” Taehyung’s eyes widened as he watched you finish wiping down the board, turning in his direction. You looked at Hoseok too, who was also staring directly at him. “I saw you too. I thought you had dinner with your sister.”

“I did,” Hoseok said. “She made the reservations, then had to cancel. So, she told me to invite someone out in her place. I chose Taehyung.” You glanced at Taehyung, who nodded in agreement, still looking a bit frantic. “We weren’t stalking you.”

“Well…it felt that way.” You admitted. “Looking at Taehyung stare right at me as he left was a bit unsettling.” Taehyung sighed.

“Sorry…I didn’t know,” Taehyung assured, running his hand through his hair. You nodded, smiling a bit.

“I see that now. I’m sorry. When Namjoon noticed that you were there, he got a bit uneasy, and I guess it made me a bit uneasy too, but I didn’t want to bring it up over text or something childish like that.” You admitted. Taehyung nodded, feeling a weight lift off of his shoulders at that moment. “And this morning we were so busy so…figured I would wait to say something.”

“Right, right…” Taehyung nodded his head, eyes scanning the room as he thought of what to say. He wanted to say something before his eyes fell back to you. “So, uh…how did it go?” Curious eyes cast in Taehyung’s direction from both you and Hoseok, and he coughed a bit into a balled-up fist. “The date…I mean.”

“I told you guys this morning, it went fine. Dinner was nice and we…took a walk, and talked, and that’s it. Nothing amazing happened.” When your eyes darted away from him, Taehyung knew that he shouldn’t bring it up anymore. An awkward silence covered the trio after that, nobody knowing what to say, that is until Hoseok let out a frustrated sigh and knew he had to speak up.

“Okay, so Taehyung.” Hoseok hummed, making the boy look over. “Remember, when she goes out on dates, we have to tie ourselves to our couches and do nothing until she’s home. Because if we go to the same places, we’re technically stalking her.” Taehyung let out a chuckle, nodding.

“Right, I’ll remember that for next time.” He said.

You scoffed, tugging the tie that held your braid out of your hair. “Yeah, you better.” You said simply, and Hoseok laughed. Taehyung watched as you pulled the braid out of your head, allowing the tips to begin to unravel. He watched as you ran your fingers through the braid, untangling it all out. As it came fully undone, you have was still just as wavy as it was when he saw you Friday evening. It flowed down your shoulders and curled at your collarbone. It was starting to get a bit longer than it was when he first met you, and it suited you wonderfully. Taehyung had to immediately avert his eyes away when you glanced back in his direction. Your hands raised, taking the tie and pulling your curls up behind your head, securing them in place in a looser and more relaxed ponytail. As you swished it side to side, Taehyung confirmed to himself why Hoseok was so attached to you for almost 15 years.

“Alright, now that everything is almost done, I have to get going.” Taehyung blinked.

“Leaving so early? Maybe I should stalk you and figure out what’s caused this rare occurrence.” His teasing made you roll your eyes, and Hoseok’s amused chuckle didn’t help.

“Oh, haha, Kim Taehyung. My mother said she was coming to Seoul for a few days on business and wants me to take her out to lunch.” As you grabbed your purse and keys, you scanned the room. “Hoseok, do you mind finishing up for me?”

“I don’t have much to do. Leave it to me~!” He grinned. You nodded, before waving to Taehyung.

“See you tomorrow.” You said, passing by him quickly as you hurried out the door. Taehyung waved you off, watching as the door closed behind you and you scurried off, curly ponytail bouncing behind you. Hoseok simply returned to cleaning the rest of the tables, while Taehyung slowly sank to the floor, sprawling himself out on the colorful preschool carpet. He glanced over at the younger boy, blinking.

“You can’t nap there; I need to vacuum.” He huffed simply. “Go nap at your desk, or go home. You worked hard today, you should-.”

“I wanna ask her out on a date.” Taehyung hummed. Hoseok felt his hand immediately stop moving on the table, the damp cloth clutched tightly in his fist. He looked over his shoulder at Taehyung, who was staring up at the ceiling. “I do.”

“…Then do it,” Hoseok said simply.

“I can’t. She’s going on dates with Namjoon….” Hoseok had to take another deep breath, forcing himself to continue wiping down the table.

I hope he knows how much this is killing me. Is he doing this on purpose? The little punk. When Hoseok turned over his shoulder again to look at Taehyung, he noticed something in Taehyung’s eyes that hit him with a feeling of déjà vu. Taehyung’s eyes, dark and mysterious, stared up at the ceiling with such desire in them. Hoseok saw in Taehyung the same boy that was sprawled out on the floor of his bedroom every night, thinking endlessly about how much he loved you. It made Hoseok feel a bit bad for his thoughts, despite how true they were to him. God damn it, Kim Taehyung. Don’t make me regret this.

“She isn’t dating Namjoon, you know that, right?” He asked, and Taehyung’s head lolled in Hyung’s direction. “You can ask her out on a date if you want to.”

“Yeah but….” Taehyung sighed. “I don’t know if she’d want to. I know she’s being nice to me now, but like, I don’t know how she feels about me.” When Taehyung heard Hoseok sigh again, he immediately sat up. All the memories of Friday’s dinner came flowing back into his mind. “Fuck. Hyung, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be-.”

“Don’t apologize.” Hoseok quickly turned to face him. He was smiling, but just like from across the table, Taehyung could immediately notice the pain in his eyes. “I told you, I tried to win her over and she didn’t go for it. I don’t think it’ll change. If you and Namjoon want to try for her, I have no place stopping you.” He continued to smile. “No matter how much it hurts.”

Taehyung looked at Hoseok for what felt like an eternity. Hoseok shouldn’t be the one he is venting to about you; it just wasn’t fair. As Taehyung slowly stood up from the floor, he stuck his hands in his pockets.

“I’ll get going, then. Sorry.” He said. Hoseok couldn’t help but offer an amused chuckle as Taehyung looked around nervously.

“Taehyung, I told you that you have nothing to be sorry for.” He assured. Taehyung, knowing Hoseok was lying, simply nodded and smiled.

“Have a good night.” Taehyung hummed, nodding his head before he headed out the door. Hoseok waved him off, watching as the door closed behind him. When Hoseok found himself alone in the classroom, he set the cloth down onto the table, before plopping himself down in one of the chairs and running a hand through his hair. His body felt as if it had been carrying 15 tons of bricks, and he had finally allowed them to drop once Taehyung left the room. He felt his chest clench up, and he quickly swallowed, scratching his hair. He didn’t want to be seen crying in the classroom. While you and Taehyung had left, he knew at any moment, Seokjin could pop his head in, just for the hell of it. That’s just the kind of man he was. As Hoseok, quickly rubbed at his eyes, he looked around the room and stood up.

“…I’ll come in early and finish tomorrow.” He said to himself, before grabbing his bag from its spot behind the desk and heading out the door.

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Taehyung felt so guilty about mentioning his desire to date you in front of Hoseok. After he had just laid his heart out on the table for him, too, it was as if Taehyung didn’t even pay attention! Pacing his living room, something he found himself doing more and more with each passing day, he thought about texting an apology to Hoseok. However, if he knew Hoseok well, and he would like to think he had gotten to know him over the past few months, Hoseok wouldn’t want him to apologize. At least, he wouldn’t want to admit it out loud. In the middle of Taehyung’s many rantings, there was a knock at his door, which finally stopped his feet from pacing and forced him to look up at the door.

As he walked over, he clicked the lock and flung it open. Before him stood Jungkook. He was in an old white shirt, baggy pants, and had his growing hair in a pulled-up bun. A few blank canvases lay under his arm, a big, beige satchel across his chest, and on his face was that ever-so endearing grin.

“Hi Hyung.” He said. Taehyung crossed his arms.

“What are you doing?” he asked curiously. “I told you that you couldn’t come and start until you caught up on your work.” Jungkook nodded.

“I know. I did.” He assured. When Taehyung didn’t look convinced, Jungkook dug into his pocket, pulling out his phone. After taking a moment to skim through it, before turning the screen to Taehyung. Taehyung leaned forward to get a better look.

Mom! I finished all my work during lunchtime! Please tell me I can go out and see Taehyung-sunbae so I can practice my art!

…Alright, Jungkook. Just be home by dinner.

Thank you! ^^

“See?” Jungkook hummed after giving Taehyung a few seconds to skim the messages.

“Hm. Alright, then.” He said softly, motioning Jungkook into the apartment. “I wasn’t expecting you, though. I haven’t planned anything.”

“I know,” Jungkook said. “But once I finished my work, I wanted to see you as soon as possible. It’s okay if there’s nothing planned this time. I just couldn’t wait.” Taehyung couldn’t help but smile as he watched Jungkook head towards the couch, plopping himself down on the floor. He set a canvas on his lap, and Taehyung blinked.

“What on earth are you doing?” he asked, and two wide eyes turned over to look at him.

“…Getting ready to paint?” he asked, not too sure why that question was asked in the first place. Taehyung shook his head, motioning for the boy to stand up and follow him. Jungkook obeyed and followed Taehyung to the other side of the couch. He stood there while Taehyung went to the hall closet. When Jungkook walked over, Taehyung motioned to a bunch of easels. They were of varying sizes and thickness, for various sized canvases.

“Pick one,” Taehyung said simply. “Maybe one of the reasons you don’t paint with any passion is because you hunch yourself over your painting like a gremlin who just found a pile of gold.” When he heard Jungkook snort at that, he gave him a supportive tap on the shoulder. “I’ll go make us something to drink while you pick one out and find a spot.” He said and left to do just that.

            When Taehyung returned, Jungkook had settled himself up against the couch with one of his tinier canvases. “Alright,” Taehyung said, setting water beside Jungkook, before taking his seat on the couch. “Let’s start simple, I guess…What inspires you?”

            Jungkook pressed a finger to his chin and took a moment of silence to think. Taehyung simply sipped his drink, waiting for the younger boy to answer. “Well…” Jungkook began. “A lot of things, I guess.” He said. “But at the same time, nothing…” Taehyung couldn’t help but snicker.

            “Nothing?” Taehyung was in slight disbelief. “There has to be something. A color? A scent? A feeling? Certain people, or certain experiences.” Jungkook sighed softly, crossing his arms as if that would help him think harder. “Any of those things can make you feel inspired to put it into a painting.”

            “Yeah, I know, but I can’t think of anything. It’s like one of the moments when someone asks you for your favorite movie, and suddenly you forget every movie you had ever seen up until then.” Both boys chuckled at the comparison. “What inspires you, Hyung?” Taehyung pursed his lips as he racked his brain for something motivational and slightly inspiring to say.

            “My inspiration is weird. I fluctuate. Sometimes, I get inspired by the smell of something familiar and nostalgic. Other times, I get inspired by the idea of a dolphin.” He saw Jungkook smile a bit at the mention of the painting. “Certain people inspire me, I guess. One of my first works is a small picture of my friend and me that he keeps in his little work cubby. And-.” When Taehyung went silent, the pictures of his ever-developing sketches of you flashed in his head one by one. He had done a few of them, some more simple than others, and they lay hidden under his work station, in a spot only he now knew of. “Well, yeah…that’s about it.”

            Jungkook was more inquisitive than Taehyung gave him credit for, that much he had to admit. Jungkook studied his Hyung for a few moments, lips drew together. Taehyung raised an eyebrow.

            “Does Kai’s teacher give you inspiration?” He asked curiously. Taehyung felt his cheeks tint a light pink, and he sighed.

            “Uh…yeah, I guess so.” He muttered softly. “She has really good expressions, they help me practice with my proportions for when I draw people.” Jungkook nodded, though he wasn’t at all convinced. To be honest, Taehyung wasn’t either. Jungkook turned back to his picture.

            “Mr. Kim said their date was nice.”

            Taehyung responded with a simple “Yeah, I heard that too.”

            “It seems they both had a great time.”

            “Uh-huh…” Taehyung took another sip of his water. He had wished he grabbed himself a beer at this moment.

            “Forgive me for being nosey, but it seems you also want to ask her out on a date. You seem very fond of her, from what I’ve seen.”

            “…And just what exactly have you seen?” Taehyung asked curiously. Jungkook snorted.

            “Well, you wouldn’t have noticed I was staring at the Ilsan Art Festival because she had all of your attention the entire time. Also, the last time I came here, you gave me an hour lecture on why my boss shouldn’t be asking her out on dates. Not to mention those pictures I found of her that you were drawing, and-.”

            “Okay, okay, okay. You’ve made your point.” Taehyung scoffed. “I thought you came over here to paint, not interrogate my life.”

            “Well, I asked what inspired you.”

            “I feel you already knew the answer.” Taehyung huffed. Jungkook flashed a playfully devilish grin.

            “I did~.” Taehyung scoffed, and Jungkook looked back to his still blank canvas. “I wish I had someone special like that. Someone that inspired me.” Jungkook paused. “Well, you inspired me to start painting.” Taehyung offered Jungkook a now warmer smile.

            “Heh, thanks, kid.” He said, patting Jungkook’s back. He took another sip of his water as Jungkook dug into his bag, pulling out some paint. Taehyung watched him set it up on the coffee table.

            “I’m going to just start making something and see where it takes me.”

            “That’s a foolproof way to get some ideas. I do that all the time.” Taehyung watched as Jungkook set himself up, and began to paint.

            The living room was silent for a little while, just the sound of Jungkook humming, and the sound of the brush rubbing against the canvas, spreading its color wherever it fell. Taehyung, eventually, put some music on, music that he usually listened to when he wanted some inspiration. As Jungkook sat there and painted, Taehyung simply watched him. He had no idea what he was supposed to teach an incredibly talented kid. Passion was so abstract, so different and unique, there were only so many things he could say, and he said almost half of them already!

            Hate to disappoint the kid, but this whole student-mentor thing may not last as long as he thinks. He thought. Taehyung was so lost in thought, that he was startled when Jungkook hummed his name. He glanced over, seeing half the canvas was decorated in a deep-sea blue. Specs of lighter hues of blue decorated the area, while the rest of the canvas remained untouched for now.

            “Hyung?” Jungkook asked. “I hate to be a burden, but-.” He lifted his empty water glass. “Would I be able to get a refill?”

            “Huh? Oh sure.” Taehyung took the glass and headed into the kitchen, leaving Jungkook to continue working. As the water of the sink ran, filling up the contents of the glass, Taehyung sighed. His mind was racing, and he wanted to try to focus, but he couldn’t. Especially after Jungkook’s little stunt of interrogation just now, Taehyung’s mind felt as if it could explode at any given moment. He needed to get this off of his chest, and right now, Jungkook seemed to be the only person who was interested enough to offer some advice. “Never thought I would ask a damn senior in high school about dating advice.” He mumbled.

            When he headed back into the room, he saw Jungkook still painting intensely. He only stopped to accept the water when Taehyung offered it, smiling up at him as Taehyung simply plopped back down on his spot on the couch. He stared at Jungkook for a moment, watching as his paintbrush moved along the canvas once again. He had nothing to lose at this point.

            “What do you propose I do?” Taehyung asked. When Jungkook looked up, he watched Taehyung lay flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling from the couch. “About Kai’s teacher, I mean…How should I go about asking her out? I’m worried about being too straightforward by just asking.” Jungkook hummed, looking down at his picture.

            “Maybe she’ll be more interested if you ask her out in a unique way,” Jungkook suggested. “I know Mr. Kim just simply asked her each time. That’s fine, you know, but you don’t seem like the kind of guy who would do that.” Taehyung couldn’t help but chuckle a bit at that comment, choosing to take it as a compliment.

            “I can’t live up to Namjoon’s expensive parties or events, either. I don’t have that kind of money or even those kinds of connections.” He thought about Jimin for a moment, however, he had no intention of working that angle. Jimin had already sacrificed a lot for him over the years.

            “She doesn’t seem like she’s swayed by that.” Jungkook pointed out. “Mr. Kim told me that you said so yourself when he tried to buy that painting from you.” Taehyung thought back for a moment to that day in the hot Korean sun, standing up against the tall Kim Namjoon, who was waving his checkbook in the air like it was some sort of gold prize he had won. When Namjoon thought simply buying you an expensive gift was the key to your heart.

            You seem to think having a lot of money is the key to winning her over. She doesn’t seem like that kind of girl.

            “Yeah, you’re right.” Taehyung hummed, running a hand through his hair. He heard Jungkook sigh, and a familiar, more high-pitched sigh rang through his ears. Fuck, I’m doing it again. “Sorry, Jungkook.” He said softly, and from the corner of his eye, he saw the younger boy lookup. “I didn’t mean to talk against your boss so much. I realize a lot of people I tend to vent to now, are somehow tied into this whole thing.”

            “It’s okay, Hyung,” Jungkook said. “Mr. Kim is my boss, and treats me well, but I don’t mind hearing you out. You both seem to want the same thing, and that’s to make her happy. After you offered to help me out, I don’t mind listening to you vent a bit.” He then looked over to Taehyung fully, offering a grin. “But we can just keep it our little secret anyway~.” Taehyung now allowed a little laugh to erupt from his belly, his boxy grin flashing on his face. “Just ask her out in a way that’s unique to you. A way Mr. Kim could never think of doing.” Taehyung watched as Jungkook finally turned back to his painting and got back to work. As Taehyung watched him, his brain finally sparked an idea that then sparkled in his eyes. He quickly sat up, before heading off the couch and towards his desk. Jungkook glanced up. “What are you doing?”

            “I have an idea,” Taehyung said, plopping down. “Keep painting. Let me know if you need anything.” Jungkook watched as Taehyung searched his drawers, lips pulled together in a tight and focused line. Taehyung grabbed a set of colored pencils, and a piece of paper, before quickly hunching over his table and getting to work. Jungkook couldn’t help but chuckle as he watched.

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            Though Taehyung ended up finishing his little idea in a few days, he wasn’t as eager to utilize it to its full potential just yet. He was nervous. He felt like he was in high school all over again, pining over the pretty upperclassman that he would see pass through the halls with her friends, as he desperately clutched a love note in his hands that he hoped that he could, with enough courage, give to her one day. The idea of being in a similar position, only now much older, was kind of terrifying. That was why an entire week passed by, his little canvas, about the size of an 8 x 5 picture frame, was tucked away safely in one of his drawers in his classroom, waiting patiently for its time to shine.

            As Taehyung sat in the classroom, looking up some ideas for interesting and innovative projects involving the method of the month, clay, Taehyung heard the sounds of the children down the hall. They were just coming back from lunch, which meant that it would be Taehyung’s time to shine soon. Everything for the day was prepared for the students, and he had his examples completed and sitting on his desk for him. They were going to learn the basics of pottery, in a way only preschoolers could understand. Which, in his time working here, meant they have 45 minutes to fuck around with their ball of clay and see what their imagination has them create. This was how it always ended up working out at the beginning of each new lesson, but the children never minded.

            Taehyung was busy scrolling when he heard a voice call his attention towards the door. “Taehyung, am I catching you slacking off?” When he looked up, he saw you, standing at the doorway with your hands on your hips. Your ponytail was high up, but as his eyes trailed from the top of the ponytail to the bottom, he saw it wrap around and rest on your shoulder.

            “You gonna tattle?” Taehyung asked, only half-kidding, though he did offer a smile. You laughed a bit.

            “The one time I have hard evidence of you slacking off and I can’t use it.”

            “Oh, and why not?” Taehyung hummed, standing up.

            “…I thought we were friends.” You said simply. Taehyung put his hands in his pockets. “I wouldn’t do that to a friend.”

            “…Right…” Taehyung hummed softly, feeling his heart began to beat at the gentleness in your voice. However, a playful smile formed on your face.

            “Guess we’re not, so all bets are off. Mr. Kim-!” You shouted playfully, turning your head to lean out into the hallway. Taehyung only got nervous for a second, because you quickly turned back to face him, laughing. “Kidding~.”

            “I know.” He scoffed. “Go back to work before I tell Mr. Kim you’re the one who is slacking off.” You laughed again.

            “I’m going, I’m going. Can’t a teacher ever go to the bathroom in peace?” You hummed. Taehyung was just about to wave you off when you looked back at him. “Hey.” Taehyung once again turned towards you. “I’m pretty caught up on work for now. Mind if I stay in here and help out?”

            “You sure you don’t need the time to rest?” he asked.

            A smile graced your lips once again, and Taehyung almost melted. “I’ll sleep when I’m dead. I heard we’re using clay today.” Taehyung only nodded in response. “I need to see it. Do you mind?”

            “Uh…no. No, not at all.” He said. “See you later then.” You smiled, waving him off before heading back down the hallway. Taehyung sighed, walking back to his desk and lifting the little canvas in his drawer. Today had to be the day that he made his move. It just felt right.

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            The day ended without much fuss, well, as much as a preschool can offer, and the children were outside playing on the playground. It was pretty cold, with winter beginning to roll in, so a lot of kids decided to simply sit on the benches with their coats and bags on. This only made them colder, and Hoseok tried to encourage them to run around, using their body heat to warm up, but they refused, choosing to sit and freeze on the bench instead of running with the rowdy boys. Taehyung had not come outside just yet, saying he had extra cleaning to do now that his room was full of clay. You didn’t pay the notion of any mind, knowing what it was like to have a messy classroom. However, what you did not know what that Taehyung had cleaned the room long before the day was close to ending, wanting to make sure that he psyched himself up enough to give you his little gift.

            Well, not give. More like a place on your desk while you weren’t in the room, then hide until you found him. You know, like back in high school. As Taehyung walked towards your empty classroom, he heard the distant sound of parents coming to the front gate to pick up their children. He knew you would be done soon, the cold normally encouraging parents to come by faster, so he didn’t have too much time. Scanning the area, he slipped into your room, canvas in hand. The room was a bit messy, most likely because Hoseok had yet to clean up after the kids left. As he walked to your desk, he set the canvas down right by the computer, where he knew you would see it. “All I have to do now is wait…” Taehyung whispered to himself. “I hope I don’t look like an idiot for this.” When he heard the sound of another muffled car engine stopping in the distance, the sounds of children shouting growing fainter and fainter, Taehyung returned to his classroom.

            “Bye Teacher! Bye, Mr. Hobi!” The last child, Kai, shouted eagerly as he took Jungkook’s hand. The high schooler, still dressed in his uniform, waved you both off as well.

            “Bye~.” You cheered happily, continuing to wave the boy off as he followed Jungkook down the street. You could hear him eagerly shouting about his day to his babysitter, who happily laughed and listened along until they were out of sight. “Aaaah.” You sighed, watching as Hoseok approached you. “Another day is done.”

            “Yep!” He grinned. The two of you headed back into the classroom, and Hoseok looked at you. “So Uhm, when do you think we’re going to make that little dinner and wine date you promise?” When you looked at him, he grinned. “I’ve been waiting for years.”

            “It’s been like a week.” You scoffed, nudging him. “But soon. How about next Friday night? I can do that.” Hoseok nodded.

            “Deal!” When he extended his hand, you wasted no time taking it, shaking a confirmation. “Yay, now I’m excited.”

            “I know you are.��� You hummed, lifting your hands to fix your loosening ponytail. As you both headed back into the classroom, you offered a peek at Taehyung’s room. The door was closed, and there was no sign of life. “He must be still cleaning.”

            “The kids did kind of go crazy with the clay.” Hoseok sighed. “Want me to go in and help him?”

            “Nah, I’m sure he’s almost done.” You said. “When we finish, we can go check on him.” Both of you headed inside, and you made a beeline straight for your desk. “Why don’t we start with-?” before you could finish your sentence, a colorful canvas that was not there before caught your eye. Looking over, you saw a beautifully painted canvas, resembling that of a peaceful and serene hilltop. Flowers of all colors bloomed to contrast the vibrant green grass, and a beautiful yellow sun greeted the top of the hill like an old friend. On the hilltop, a picture of a lovely picnic blanket, and brown picnic basket sat, alone, as if it was waiting for people to gather around and enjoy the scenery. At the top of the picture, right along with the rays of the sun, a sentence was written in beautiful pastel colors:

            Want to go on a picnic with me?

            “What’s that?” Hoseok asked, walking over to the table. He got a glance at the picture before his eyes immediately went up to your face. Your cheeks were tinted a bit pink, and a soft smile graced your lips. Hoseok felt his heart was close to breaking in two, but he simply let out a gentle sigh, masking it as a simple exhale of breath. “That’s nice. Is it from Taehyung?”

            “I think so.” You hummed, flipping the canvas over to examine the back. You could see at the bottom, clear as day, his signature written in the top corner of the back of the frame. “I’m going to go talk to him. I’ll be right back.” Hoseok nodded, watching as you headed out the door of the classroom, the painting in your hands. When Hoseok was alone, he crossed his arms.

            “Alright, Taehyung, you win. I can’t beat that.” He hummed to himself, before walking to the supply closet and beginning to clean.

            Taehyung was talking to Jimin on his phone, hoping his friend could use logic to offset the irrational anxiousness that was coursing through his body.

            “The worst she can say is no, Taehyung,” Jimin said simply.

            “I don’t want her to think I’m weird.”

“She won’t,” Jimin assured. “I think what you did is romantic. I’d agree to go on a picnic if you did that for me.” Taehyung laughed a bit.

“I’ll remember that for next time.” He assured. Just then, a knock was heard at his door. “Crap.” He gasped his heart rate speeding up. “I’ll call you back, Jimin.” He assured, before quickly hanging up and spinning his chair around. “Come in.”

You opened the door and stepped inside. Taehyung immediately saw the canvas in your hands. “Hi.” He said.

 “This is cute.” You said, holding it up. “Are you trying to ask me something?”

“Uhm…yes?” Taehyung said sheepishly, coughing into his hands. He rose from his seat and walked over to you. “I know you’re like…doing whatever with Namjoon and that’s fine. I just…I don’t know. I wanted to like…invite you out.” You glanced down at the picture. “I can’t take you to fancy parties or big events, or nice restaurants like he can. But still, I just…I don’t know.”       

The idea of Taehyung asking you out on a date was…something you didn’t expect to happen. However, you were highly flattered. That flattery was mixed with a feeling of uneasiness, though. The idea of potentially being the center of a love triangle was…different, unfamiliar, and it made your chest tighten. This was the last thing you wanted to happen, with both Namjoon and Taehyung. However, denying Taehyung’s request when…you didn’t want too, seemed unfair, especially if you were accepting all of Namjoon’s requests.

 “…You could have just asked me.” You said simply.

“Yeah, I know. But I thought I should be…creative about it.” He chuckled a bit. You smiled along with him. “So is that a yes? You can pick the time and day, but I have the place and the picnic all planned out.”

“…I’ll look at my calendar when I get home, okay?” you smiled. Taehyung nodded, and you went to hand him back his painting.

“Hm? What are you doing? Keep it. I made it for you.” Taehyung said simply, pushing it gently back into your grasp. As you held it close to your chest, you felt a little set of butterflies bubble up in your chest.

It felt like you were back in high school.  

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[everlastingdreams]

Ben Poindexter x Reader : Into My Bloodstream Chapter 34

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Notes: This is not the last chapter. I broke this thing into two chapters. Chapter 35 will be the last and I will upload that tomorrow. Enjoy the little cliff hanger. You’re welcome.. haha. 

Summary: OooooOOOoooh boy... chapter 35 is gonna be good *_*

Chapter: 34/35

Word count: 1861 words

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He gave you the duffel bag before he crawled through the window. You putted the bag down on the coffee table.

He looked around for a moment “It's worse then I thought.”

You scoffed at his remark “Well excuse you. If you don't like it, you are free to leave. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.” you crossed your arms “Unless you're into that sort of thing.” you quietly mumbled.

“I heard that.” He walked past you, his shoulder brushing against yours as he did.

He walked around the apartment, a smile tugging at his lips until he stopped in front of a drawing that was held on the wall with a paper pin “Did you draw this ?”

You walked over to where he was standing “I did. But I stopped drawing years ago.”

His eyes were fixed on the drawing you once made of a girl, underwater and wired in a glass tank surrounded by scientists. “What made you stop drawing?” he asked as he looked at you.

You shrugged your shoulders “Honestly ? I lost inspiration. There is no story there, I just found other things to do. Do you have any other things that you like to do besides throwing stuff ?” a smile tugging at your lips.

He thought for a moment “Yeah.” he answered shortly.

You waited for him to tell you what it was, and you were getting impatient as he seemed to stay silent.

“Dex, are you gonna tell me what it is?” the impatience in your voice was clear.

“Aren't you a nosy one.” he raised a brow at you.

You nudged him with your shoulder biting your lip as he looked at you “Please tell me ?”

He leaned closer to you and you felt yourself get that familiar nervous feeling, his hand found its way to the side of your face. You realised he was carefully brushing his fingers over the cut on your head, the one the stapler had left there. He stepped closer and placed a kiss on the side of your head, where the cut was “This.” his voice was husky.

You closed your eyes for a moment “Sorry, I think you need to clarify that a bit more for me.”

You felt his other hand find it's way on your neck before his lips locked on yours.

The tip of his tongue brushing your lips for a moment, sending shivers through you, and you let him caress your tongue with his.

Your hands finding their way to his abdomen, pulling him closer to you until your chest met his.

The suit did a great job at complimenting his body. When you two worked together in the FBI, Dex wearing his white button-up shirt and jacket, you had an idea of how toned his body was. But the suit was like a red ribbon around a christmas present at this moment.

His breathing got heavier and you let your hand slide over his body before you noticed something.

You pulled back a little, which disappointed him, as you looked down at your hand and saw there was blood on it.

“Dex..” your voice filled with worry and he looked down at your hand.

You took a small step back and noticed there was a tear in the suit.

You gasped a little “You're bleeding!”

Dex just shook his head a little and chuckled “It's just a scratch.” he tried to brush it off.

“Are you kidding me right now ? Damnit, Dex. You call that a scratch and it makes me wonder what you call being dead than, 'naptime' ?” you tried to see how bad it was.

“That's what you get when they bring knives to a gunfight.” he tried to lighten the mood but you weren't having it.

You walked to one of the cupboards and opened it, pulling out a med-kit “I will have to stitch that up, Dex. So you..” you pointed at him “Sit.” you now pointed to the couch.

You looked at him for a moment, realising that that suit was anything but handy to be wearing while being stitched up.

“No, wait. You said you brought other clothes?” you enquired.

“I have. You're saying you want me out of the suit then?” he smirked mischievously at you.

You hoped you were not turning red now “Pretty much, yeah. But I also think Matt wants that suit back and probably without a lot of bloodstains.”

You threw the duffel bag at him “Bathroom is over there. Call me over if you need any help, alright? And carefull with that wound, Dex.”

“Yes ma'am.” he saluted you as he took the bag to the bathroom.

You rubbed a hand down your face. Dex could be as stubborn as you were. You checked if the med-kit had everything you needed.

After a few minutes you went to the bathroom door and knocked. “Dex?”

“Yeah, Just trying to clean the wound i'll be-” you heard him groan in pain.

“Just a scratch, uh?” you sarcastically remarked. You heard the door open and took a step back, Dex walked out shirtless while pressing a cloth to the right side of his abdomen where the wound was.

The sarcastic remarks you wanted to make were wiped from your brain and you gulped as you looked at Dex.

He was oblivious at your lingering gaze on his torso, if you were not blushing before, you sure as hell were now.

You turned around quickly and walked to the med-kit on the counter. Checking it's contents once again while you took control of your thoughts.

He walked to the couch and lowered himself on it carefully “I might have underestimated it.” he told you as he checked the wound again.

“Me too..” you murmured as your eyes lingered on his toned body.

His eyes shot to you “What ?”

“I said, I told you so.” you quickly answered and he rolled his eyes at that.

You took the kit and made your way over to the couch where Dex is sitting to sit next to him.

You kept your eyes on the med-kit, thinking of something to say before he notices something is off.

“(y/n) ?” Dex shifted on the couch. Your eyes met his “Yes?”

He looked at you for a moment before a smile grew on his face and he cleared his throat “Have you done this before ? Stitching someone up.”

“Uhm.. yeah of course I have. It was often unavoidable. I stitched up loads of people.” you blurted out nervously.

He scratched his jaw and let out a chuckle “Did you blush when you stitched them up as well?”

Your eyes snapped away from him and focused on something else, anything else but him.

Damnit, why did he have to notice that ?

“I'll take that as a 'no' then.” you knew he was enjoying this by the sound of his voice “ You said the red suit looked good on me ?”

You sighed, wondering when Dex had learned to tease you “I did.”

“Red looks good on you too. Especially on your cheeks.” he said it casually and your eyes shot to him as he leaned back on the couch.

“Do you want me to stitch you up or should I let you bleed out, Dex ?” you smiled at him sweetly.

He snorted “I prefer the former.”

You opened the kit and prepared the needle and thread, a smirk growing on your face as you grabbed the rubbing alcohol.

Dex noticed the look on your face when you took the little bottle out “Don't even think about it.”

“What, scared Poindexter?” the worried look on his face almost made you laugh “Don't worry, this won't hurt much. I promise I won't torture you.”

He scoffed at that “I guess this is payback for the stapler?”

You nodded “Yep.” and you put some rubbing alcohol on a cloth before you used it on the wound.

He winced as the cloth touched the wound, the sight of him in pain wasn't something you liked so you put your other hand on his arm with a worried expression “You okay?”

He leaned back again and looked at you “(y/n), Can I ask you something ?” his eyes were soft and you nodded “Why are you here with me?”

His question took you by suprise “ What do you mean, Dex?”

He evaded your questioning eyes “I'm not the easiest person to be around. Murdock, your friend, hates my guts..” he traced his palm over his face “I guess what I'm trying to understand is why you are with me.”

You finally understood what he meant, and you placed your hand on his chest.

"Because I saw you, I saw you try so hard everyday, again and again. I saw someone who battled their demons everyday. You did all that and you still became a special agent. And not just any special agent, one of the best. You made me want to be more like you. I thought you were one of those people that walked with their nose in the air, believing they are better then everyone else. But after working with you for a while I saw another side of you. One that was kind, protective, honest and loving. That and your shyness works like a magnet on me. It made me wonder what hid beneath it.”

He shook his head, he was starting to smile "You helping me.. it could cost you your job. After what I did.. there is no way they will take me back. But you still have a chance." "I have a plan that might work." You told him as you focused on stitching him up. "What's that?" He looked at you curiously "Fisk made you wear the suit to frame Daredevil. What if.. we framed one of Fisk's people. I mean.. nobody knows who was under that mask, Dex." He exhaled "That's a long shot." "Maybe. But we can try and I am not going back to the FBI without you, Dex." You drew the needle through his skin again "I will miss working at the FBI if it fails, but there is something that I love more then my job."

You cut the thread and covered the wound with a gauze.

He sat up on the couch and you helped him a bit “And what's that?” his eyes landed on your hand which was on his arm.

You bit your lip, not looking at him as you pondered the question. Finally you looked at him, and you reached your hand out, placing it on his cheek. He looked so vulnerable now. His eyes searching yours for the answer to the question he was afraid of asking out loud. As if the answer could pierce the bubble of happiness he found himself in with you.

“Perhaps the world will come crumbling down on us, but if it does, I'll always be by your side.” his eyes widened at your words and you continued “What I'm trying to say is.. I love you, Dex.”

Taglist ( I hope I am doing this right.) :

@rueinn-rosa

@shes-a-plum

@lady1505

@moonlightmvrvel

@peterbxrnes

@marvelmayo

@star-spangled-man

@earth-archangel

@theladyofmanyfandomsofficial

@superflashvengers

@excuseyoubrothar

@alysathewitch

@marvelguyswxthblueeyes

@onlystylesangels

@burningmusicmachine

@sporadicclampastabasketball

@xxemoluverxx

@love-n-sprinkles

Let me know if you want me to tag you on this list for the Ben Poindexter x Reader: Into My Bloodstream series.

[sotheywrotestories]

Colorado

Request; 

Hey! ☺️ can you please write a Hamilsquad x reader about you guys traveling like maybe going to a different state or country or something and basically how it would go traveling with the squad. Thank you! 😘❤️

-Nonnie

Pairings; Hamilsquad x Reader

Warnings; I don’t think so? Uncooperation?

Summary; DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT IS TO TRAVEL WITH FOUR STUBBORN MEN?

A/N: Can y’all guess what the flight number is? Also, sorry! I got a little carried away!

“Our flight leaves in three hours, we are leaving in ten!” I shouted down the hallway. 

“Why?” Herc shouted back. 

“Because I said so, that’s why,” I sighed, loudly.

I heard a few grumbles from our bedroom and decided to go see what was happening. 

“YOU’RE NOT PACKED?” I screamed, my hands on my head. 

“Erm- no. We happened to forget?” Alexander said, backing away slowly. 

I sighed and put one hand on my hip, one over my eyes, and counted to ten. 

“Okay. Each of you, get five of your favorite shirts and three of your favorite pants. And then get one toothbrush and put it in a Ziploc,” I instructed. 

All four boys scrambled to do what I asked. 

When they came back, I slowly started to roll all of the cloths and place them neatly into their respected places in the correct suitcases. One for Laf and Herc, one for Alex and John, and one for me. Then, I placed Alex’s notebooks, Herc’s cross stitch template, Laf’s catalog, and John’s turtle book into my carryon. 

“We’re five minutes behind schedule!” I shouted. 

I grabbed sleepwear for everyone and managed to cram swimwear and my presents for them into the suitcases. Two jackets for each boy, underwear, and socks. 

“Let’s go!” I said, rolling out of the house with three suitcases and a duffel. 

Checking in was a mess. Alexander kept trying to run away to berate people who ran into me. John was trying to wiggle his way into first class. Lafayette was rapidly talking to a French couple he met, and Hercules was trying to get a girl to tell him where he bought his dress. 

“Miss, we don’t have any open seats,” the cashier looked at me. 

“No, no. Trust me, it’s fine,” I sighed. “John, honey, please stop.”

John nodded and blushed awkwardly. 

“Here are your tickets. Are you checking any baggage?” she asked. 

I nodded and dropped the three suitcases on the scale. 

“Is that your carryon?” she pointed at the duffel. 

“Yes, is that okay?” I asked worriedly.

“Perfectly fine,” the woman smiled, handing me five tickets.

“Behave!” I shouted when John and Laf said they were heading off to get food. 

“Hey, (Y/N)?” Alex asked. 

“Yes, Alex, can I get a pen from the store?” Alex asked. 

“I thought I packed one?” I asked.

“No, I can’t find one,” Alex sighed.

“Yes yes,” I sighed, pulling a ten dollar bill out of my purse. 

Alex thanked me and skipped off. I felt someone sit next to me and wrap their arms around me. 

“Thank you,” Herc whispered in my ear. 

“For what?” I whispered back, turning to face him, nuzzling my face into his cheek. 

“Getting us here on time and keeping us in check,” Hercules said, kissing me. 

“Of course, Lovie,” I smiled into the kiss. 

“Now boarding flight B03,” a voice crackled. 

“That’s our flight!” I jumped up. “Can you go get Laf and John?”

Hercules nodded and ran off. I sprinted towards the store and grabbed Alex just as he was checking out. 

“What?” Alex asked.

“Our flight is boarding!” I panted and ran towards our bags. 

It took Hercules two minutes to come back with Laf and John. 

“Let’s go!” I shouted, grabbing my duffel and heading to the desk.

Apparently, Alex is afraid of flying. I love him. I love him more than anything. But ow my hand. 

We were only in the air for about four hours. And in that time, Alex managed to panic 23 times. 

When we landed, Alex was the first out of the plane, and the first to call a cab. We all followed and Laf and I got our own cab. When we arrived at the hotel, the first thing the boys wanted to do was swim. I laughed and agreed, having grabbed our bags just before exiting the airport. 

We all changed into our bathing suits for the pool.

“I’m going to catch up, I need to call my mom,” I said. 

John nodded and ushered the boys out. 

There was a small tree in the corner of our room per my request. I grabbed the presents out (that the boys failed to see as they hadn’t packed) and put them under the tree. I went out to swim after that.

I screamed and pushed Alex back even harder. I was sitting on Lafayette’s shoulders and Alex was on Hercules. John was acting as a referee to make sure no one hit their head on the edge of the pool.

Finally, Alex fell into the pool.

“Yes!” I shouted. “I win!”

Lafayette laughed then dunked me in the pool. I popped back up and spurted water.

“Laf!” I shouted.

He laughed and picked up to throw me again. We all splashed around for about fifteen minutes before getting out. 

When we got to the room, I stopped them. “Okay, there’s a surprise in there for you.”

John looked at me skeptically. “What...is it?”

I gave a playful shrug and rushed in, followed by the boys. I had pulled the tree into the middle of the room and put the presents under it.

“Surprise!” I shouted.

“(Y/N)!” Lafayette shouted. “You said no presents!”

“I lied,” you giggled. “But! You can’t open them until tomorrow!”

Tomorrow came soon. I mean, the second it was tomorrow, Alex was shaking me awake. 

“No, Alex, give me at least five more hours,” I complained, turning and snuggling into Herc again. 

Sure enough five hours later, I was being shaken awake. “No, one more hour.”

“But you said five. It’s been exactly five,” Alex whined. 

“Please, for god’s sake go to sleep, Alex,” Hercules whined, pulling me closer to his chest. 

Alex grumbled and flipped over. And, exactly one hour later, we were all up. 

“Okay, okay, open them!” I clapped excitedly. 

Laf opened his present to find five different cookbooks, two in total French, one titled “The Taste of America”, and two of my grandma's old books that he was interested in. 

“(Y/N)!” Laf shouted, pulling me into a hug. “I love them!”

I giggled and gave him a kiss. 

John had a smaller package. The size of a postcard. He opened it to see a picture of a turtle. 

“Haha, it’s um- it’s cute?” John looked around awkwardly. 

Hercules elbowed him in the ribs. 

“No, no! That’s an actual turtle,” I said.

John looked at me blankly. 

“Honey, I reserved a turtle at the pet store,” I say.

“NO WAY! I LOVE IT!” John shouted, tackling me in a hug. 

I laughed and kissed his forehead.

“Me next, me next!” Alex shouted already opening his paper. 

I had gotten him a biography of one of his idols and a notebook that you can microwave to clear up. 

“I COULDN’T FIND THIS ANYWHERE!” Alex shouted. 

“I know, I know. I ran around all over New York to find it,” I chuckled. 

“I love it! Thank you!” Alex said, giving me a fistbump. 

Finally, Hercules opened his. It was a hand-crocheted beanie. 

“Wow! (Y/N), where did you get this?” Hercules asked. 

“I made it,” I said. 

Hercules’ head snapped up. “Really?”

“Yep. Look inside the hat!” I said. 

Hercules unrolled the hat and pulled out the templates. They were these insanely expensive pieces of paper that supposedly instructed Hercules how to sew some things. 

“(Y/N), you shouldn’t have!” Hercules exclaimed while pulling me into his lap. 

“Ah, but I did,” I said. 

Needless to say, the boys loved their presents. 

When we landed back in New York (after having a pain free flight, as Alex sat next to John), I rushed everyone back to the apartment. I say rushed, I mean dragged Hercules, Laf, and Alex while John sprinted towards the pet shop closest to our home to pick up his turtle. 

Once we had the turtle, who was named Newt, we walked to the apartment. 

“Wait here,” Alex said, walking into the apartment ahead of me. 

Once I was told it was okay, I was utterly taken away. There was a grand piano sitting where my old keyboard used to be. 

“W-what is this?” I asked, dropping my bags immediately. 

“We know we all agreed on no presents, but it would seem that neither of us followed that, did we?” Alex asked. 

“But, what is this?” I stuttered.

“Surprise!” all four boys shouted.

“Play us a song!” Lafayette requested. 

I sat down and started to play an old song I knew.

“I love it. I love you guys!” I said, standing up and giving them a hug.

“We love you, too.”

[kitanoko]

Not sure if it has been done yet...but if it's not to much could you make a HC that Todo is about to get shot, and out of nowhere our fabulous Momo jumps into save him by splitting the bullet with a katana

This is actually really cute; I have soooo many angsty asks sitting in my inbox so I’m gonna write this one first HAHA I’m actually gonna turn this to a short fic kinda thing…enjoy!!~~~To speak frankly, Todoroki accumulated immeasurable fighting experience within a short period; from the sports festival, to the final exam which he passed, to Stain, and then finally back to the license exam in which he failed. He had the villains to thank for their tactical raids somewhere in between (his judgement of time was not to be trusted), one after another. For a first year UA student whose father was deemed as the No.2 hero for the past decade, it was horribly intense.

But now he found himself having second thoughts on the power of the villain alliance. Stuck in between two concrete walls, Todoroki realized that his career as a hero will never get any easier.

He’s accepted it. Life is nothing without a challenge and he’ll greet them with open arms.

He was also lucky that today was the first time he had to deal with guns and bullets. Todoroki’s chest rose with each new potential strategy that sprung within his mind; he couldn’t settle on one. Ectoplasm wasn’t present. A false move could mean a life lost. And it could be his own.

The villain alliance now had 3 branches. The main branch with Shigaraki, one with Toga, Twice and the Yakuza, and a smaller unit that Todoroki was to investigate right now with Ectoplasm. This branch, nicknamed “Unit C” was tasked with petty crimes like robberies and money laundering, which according to Midoriya, most pro heroes wouldn’t take over because it was way below their paygrade.

Hence why they sent Todoroki, a normal but promising young hero under supervision.

It wasn’t until the mission began to head south when Unit C was suspected of committing human trafficking and drug dealing with quirk erasing drugs did they raise Todoroki’s mission difficulty to S class, last minute no less.

“Where are you, you little bastard,” a wicked voice rang to his right making his nerves twitch. Muffled footsteps sounded among Todoroki’s steady heaves, his arm outstretched, ice crystallizing at the perimetre of his palm. 

Not now. Watch first.

Todoroki suppressed the last ounce of his power, goosebumps raised. 3 minutes ago he still had his radio in hand, now with nothing in possession. Shattered and gone, he had no other means of calling for help. 

His brow knitted together in vexation. Slow blood, dripping along his thigh, its smell pungent and revolting, causing him to be slightly nauseous. 

Think, think.

He heard faint whispers; if he didn’t act, the sensor of the group will hunt him down within seconds.

A random thought emerged.

What would Yaoyorozu do?

Todoroki didn’t move a muscle, eyes cut towards the opening of the alleyway to once again run across shadows that were drifting closer. Their movements became frantic.

He needed to clear his head.

“Yo, I think…I sniff something over here…” 

That was undoubtedly the man with the canine ears and teeth; Todoroki gulped, mind wrestling to a conclusion.

Better to surprise them first, as Aizawa would’ve said, seize the upper hand and take the initiative away from them!

“Freeze!” Todoroki strided once, his right arm plunged in front view. The ice danced in glitters and mist as he desired.

“Shit! Scatter!” The leader of the group howled, gritting his teeth in agony, “Shoot him, Sharp, what are you waiting for?!” 

The man with slicked up, black hair, was petrified, his gun trembling in his stiffened fingers, procuring enough time for Todoroki’s surging flames to encompass at least half the group. 

He had to get out. Secure a position outside of this slim alley was the only way to survive. The situation had Todoroki compromised. Even a child with zero experience can shoot him dead point blank.

He was overwrought and outnumbered. Todoroki huffed and took a step out in the light, and he felt a knot in his throat. 

A laser was pointed straight at his chest.

The boy cursed. A draft of wind blew. His eyes squeezed shut and someone pulled the trigger.

“Todoroki-san!” 

Yaoyorozu stood in front of him as if magic summoned her, marginally tilted forward, with a katana clutched tight right in the middle of her stance. Her gaze screamed bloody murder. Her muscles contracted with every quiver  of her knees.

She was almost like the first gasp of air after a dive. 

A stunning scene. Her raven hair like calligraphy in the wind. Her confidence radiating through every frequency of thought.

Todoroki knew she felt overwhelmed too, driven solely by her will to protect.

“Did she just split the damn bullet in two?! What the actual fuck?!” The thrash in the leader’s voice was a pure indicator of his shock, and if Todoroki wasn’t mistaken, a remnant of admiration could be found somewhere within that sentence. 

Oh yeah, come to think of it…

The fire and ice hero dropped his gaze, fixed upon two halves of what was a bullet. 

“We’ve got them under our guise!” Yaoyorozu exclaimed as if to notify her companion,  “ECTOPLASM-SENSEI, NOW!”

A swarm of Ectoplasms’ clones lunged in unison like an ocean’s wave, rendering the opponents nonplussed. Todoroki was just as dumbfounded as Sharp, whose jaw was gifted a punch by a clone after a beat. 

He felt chilling fingers encompass his own and a tug.

“Come on, Todoroki-san, Ectoplasm-sensei has it under control, this way!” 

Her tone fibrillated him to reality, eyes focused on what’s ahead.

“Yaoyorozu,” He began, satisfied that his hand was still in hers, “when did you learn to use a katana like that?”

He was limping and as the two reached a closed off park, their footsteps gradually ceased to a halt, proximity not withdrawing. He could almost see the moment her pupils recede.

“What’s more important is first aid.”

She eyed the crimson beneath her, numb.

“I forgot how much this hurt,” Todoroki’s lips tugged into a nervous smile, “guess I was too impressed by your skills, Yaoyorozu.”

“Now is not the time to joke around! Let me see that!” 

Upon her palm came gauze and scissors. The girl propped his leg above her bent knee, gesturing for him to lean back at the bench at his rear and ran her scissors through the dirt-ridden pant sleeve, cutting it to pieces. She bit her lower lip at the sight. The adrenaline must have kept him from screaming from the pain, she decided. Without a second thought Yaoyorozu winded the gauze around and around his leg, though it was quick to be drowned in red.

Todoroki hissed at the pain. 

“Thanks,” he mumbled and recoiled his leg.

Yaoyorozu sighed, crossing her arms above her chest, “You got lucky with this one, Todoroki-san. If Sensei and I came even a milisecond late, you would’ve been as good as dead!”

“I know, I owe you one,” He replied. Somehow with the two of them in solitude, he felt at ease. It certainly helped that Unit C was semi done with. 

“I think you owe me more than one!” Yaoyorozu slumped down, facing him and continued, “You’re enjoying yourself with your little jokes, aren’t you?”

Todoroki let out a relieved chuckle as he marveled at the clouds above them, cutting her short of her complaint, “I’ll buy you ice cream tomorrow, my gratitude for saving my life.”

The girl jerked her head somewhat, wondering if she perhaps caught the wrong words.

“Wh-what?”

“You heard me,” Todoroki could see her writhe in her seat in the corner of his eyes, and he stood up, pulling his weight towards his left, “ice cream. I always see you buying one from the cafeteria…lipids, your favourite.”

Yaoyorozu watched him, legs dragging a bit as he moved away from the bench, and once again doing the same hiss as before.

“Let’s go now. I’m sure I need stitches.”

“Ah…mmm.” 

Yaoyorozu pushed herself up, mentally chiding herself, and draped his arm around her shoulder, supporting his stature with her other arm on his waist. 

Todoroki hid the wry smile under the shadows of his duo-coloured bangs, shoulders falling. 

Through the scent of fresh autumn rain, he opted to slow down his pace.

He could definitely use this time, with her beside him, to recount the day. 

[the-k-alien]

16.5 years old kitty cat dental work

My 16.5 year old cat just had her very first dental work done on Jan 29, 2020. It was a very difficult decision to make because the vet warned me the possible risks and it was not an absolutely necessary procedure. However, I know my cat needs dental work. Her breath stinks, she has a lot of tartar on her molars and she complains when she eats dry food. Another vet already told me that years ago when she was ~12, but I didn’t have the money and I didn’t trust the vet enough.

Now that she’s 16 and healthy according to her blood work and her general state, and I have enough money to afford the dental work, I decided it would be a good thing to do on a long term. She might live to 20+ and it would be riskier to undergo the surgery at that time. I did excessive researched online, reading people’s experiences and I even watched a full feline dental work video on YouTube to educate myself. I hesitated till the day before the surgery, but I decided there would be more pros than cons (apart from the big con of losing her).

I brought her in on Jan 29. @ 12pm, signed all the paperwork and talked all my concerns to the vet tech who assured me that they will keep me updated throughout the process. The clinic called me around 1:30pm telling me that instead of 2-3 teeth extractions, it would be 11 😱😱!!! Apparently there’s a lot of bone loss and she even has a slightly fractured lower jaw!! I asked if there was a more conservative option and extract less teeth, but they told me that it was already the conservative decision. I gave them my consent with a heavy heart. I immediately did more researches online and with all the bad experiences I read, I decided to call them back and get more info about increased level of risks and anesthesia time, etc. I was super surprised that when I called them back 30min later, the vet tech told me that they were almost all done with the extractions and will soon wake my kitty up from anesthesia! Sure enough, in about 30min, they did call me back saying everything went really well and my baby is awake!

I went back to pick her up at 6:30pm and got all my post-op instructions and her buprenorphine pain meds. The tech warned me that the cat may be disoriented when she gets home and might not have an appetite for tonight. She also showed me the X-rays which were pretty interesting to learn. When I got out of the room with the vet tech, I bumped into the vet who admitted to me that he was slightly worried doing that surgery because of my cat’s age and the risks with anesthesia. But in the end it all went well and he even showed me a video of her fractured jaw. They didn’t suture the fracture because it was minor and asymptomatic, and he said the bones will probably fuse back together.

When I got home, my cat immediately became more active and wants to get out of her cage. She was so excited to get out that she did walk funny tilting to the left side for a few steps haha. It happened 2x that she kinda fell to the side while walking, and once as she was looking up at me 😂. But after those 3 “drunk” incidents, she didn’t have trouble walking straight. Also, the moment she got home, she wanted FOOD!!! She literally ate nonstop for 30min, and I mean that! I couldnt take her head out of her bowl so she can take a little break! She ate super messy too, dug her paw into the food and splashing it everywhere like a messy baby! I guess she was too high on the drugs 😂. After that massive feast, she still wanted food. She ate on-off for another hour and finally calmed down. However, she didn’t sleep until 1am (when I had to sleep). Her eyes were wide open, pupils dilated (due to anesthesia), and she didn’t close her eyes for a second. The next day, she was a lot more normal. She enjoyed the sun and ate like a champ. The 2nd day post-op was pretty normal too according to my mom who “cat-sat” her. However, I did notice that her ears are flatter since day 2 post-op as if she’s afraid or angry, but she’s not. She would still purr loudly as I stroke her head and show me her “cute moves”. Day 3 post-op (today) is still the same, flat low ears, apart from that she’s eating normally and pretty happy in general 😕. Today is her last day on her pain meds so we’ll see how tomorrow goes.

I am super grateful of the whole vet team and the good skills of the vet ❤️. He did have a great review online and it is well deserved. I followed him from the clinic where he worked at to the brand now clinic he opened himself. I have seen many other vet before him and I loved his work ethics since day 1. He is honest, patient, doesn’t push unnecessary procedures and he listens.

I will give another update in 2 weeks after her post-op follow-up 😊

*** update on Feb 23 ***

My baby’s doing really well 😺. On her 2 weeks post-op visit, the vet tech said she had to be on soft food for another week because she had 11 teeth pulled out and there’s lots of stitches in her mouth, but the wounds healed very well, no any signs of inflammation. The sutures were still very present, but apparently they can take up to a month to fully dissolve. I followed the instructions and she’s not had any problems eating dry food since the day I introduced her back to it! I started softly brushing her teeth yesterday because it’s important to maintain her beautiful white teeth now, ain’t it! Haha. There are still some sutures in her mouth today, but it seems like most of them are gone!

The biggest change I noticed is that her breath is fresh now! When I give her kitty kisses, she doesn’t smell like a stinky cat anymore :) Another change is that her tongue would stick out quite frequently. She used to have a tiny bit of her tongue out because she only has one bottom incisor left and I guess there’s nothing to block her tongue from sticking out. But now since one of the lower canine got extracted, her tongue would stick out quite a lot (well at least visibly, not to the point a dog would) and even when I pull or play with her tongue, she would just let it hang out lol. Last night and tonight, she even adventures outside! She has wanted to go out for about a year now, but she had never gotten any further than the front door, but she actually stepped out and even went down the stairs today!! She is also having more energy at night and wants me to play with her. I guess her body doesn’t have to fight with the constant toothache anymore and she has energy to do other things!

Overall I’m super happy that I made the decision of doing the dental work. I’m sharing this hoping my experience would help other pet owners to make their decision because it’s not easy and we don’t always get the best advice from some less honest vets.

[snowlilys-wife]

85 Statements~!

Whew okay, finally got around to this. I was tagged by @crazyanime3, @catslab, and @adeslowmoqueen

The Last :

1.) drink: Dr Pepper 2.) phone call: The discord chat lol 3.) text message: Asia :3 4.) song you listened to:  Smoke and Mirrors cover by Lollia 5.) time you cried: Chatting with Briana a few days ago, because she made me really happy, so I teared up lol. Im a sap 6.)dated someone twice: Technically not, but we were “unofficially together” on and off before he finally broke up with me in high school. 7.) kissed someone and regretted it: I don’t regret kissing him since we were together at the time, but I do remember being caught making out during school hours and that caused a lot of drama. 8.) been cheated on: Nope 9.) lost someone special: Yeah... 10.) been depressed: Every day lolol 11.) gotten drunk and thrown up: Not of age yet. Next year~!

3 favorite colors:

12.) Cerulean blue 13.) Black 14.) Red

In the Last year have you:

15. made new friends: Yes! My online friends here on tumblr and discord! 16. fallen out of love: I was forced to after being broken up with. 17. laughed until you cried: Yes ahaha. 18. found out someone was talking about you: The other day, at work, yes. It was very frustrating 19. met someone who changed you: Yep 20. found out who your friends are: I feel like I have, yes. 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: Both my ex and my current bf are on my FB so yes ahaha

General

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I don’t have Facebook friends that I don’t know irl 23. do you have any pets: My family has 3 dogs and tbh, im sick of them lolol 24. do you want to change your name: Nah, im good haha 25. what did you do for your last birthday: I worked and then just hung out with my friend? lolol 26. what time did you wake up: About 8am or so because of work. I’m looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow <3 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Chatting with Asia about SakuMahi lolol 28. name something you can’t wait for the announcement for: OvO??? Uhhhh maybe more voltron since thats recent right now? XD lolol idk. 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: Around 10:30 or so (Its 12:30 am rn) 31. what are you listening to right now:  Friend Like Me - NeYo cover 32. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Nope. 33. something that is getting on your nerves: Many...MANY things lately. my boss is a big pain in the ass right now though 34. most visited website: Tumblr and Discord lately <3 35. hair color: Light brown (dyeing it red tomorrow ^_^) 36. long or short hair: Short 37. do you have a crush on someone: Yehhhh <333 my bf ahaha. Also I have tons of friend crushes too ;3  38. what do you like about yourself: whew uh... depends on the day 39. piercings: two ear piercings in both ear lobes and then 2 cartilage ear piercings on one side 40. blood type: I actually have no idea tbh 41. nickname: Ino pretty much it ahaha. (Although the discord peeps have started calling me “Han” and idk how i feel about this yet lololol jk yall can call me whatever you want XD) 42. relationship status: Taken~ 😘 43. zodiac: Leo 44. pronouns: She/her but honestly I shouldnt have to say that 45. favourite tv show: Changes too often, but some all time favorites are Durarara, Ouran, Servamp, and the Total Drama series 46. tattoos: None 47. right or left handed: Right handed. 48. surgery: No... unless you count stitches? 50. sport: I played softball for 2 years in high school, but not since then 51. vacation: Going to Disneyland for my birthday on Saturday and Sunday :3 52. pair of trainers: idk....?

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: Nothing atm 54. drinking: Nothin 55. about to: Lay down after I get this post done lolol 56. waiting for: too many things 57. want: too many things 58. get married: I plan on it, yes. My bf and I have talked about it many times 59. career: I want to be a freelance digital artist and do commissions and stuff but ya know

WHICH IS BETTER

60. hugs or kisses: Kisses. I love kissing <3 61. lips or eyes: Eyes 62. shorter or taller: Taaaaalllll >;D 63. older or younger: I prefer being older despite the responsibilities 64. nice arms or nice stomach: Arms i guess? I really dont mind 65. hook up or relationship: Relationship. 66. troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant, definitely.

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: No way 68. drank hard liquor: Not 21 yet 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: Yes! its so annoying when you lose your glasses and you CANT SEE. i feel like Velma when that happens. 70. turned someone down: Surprisingly a lot???? Idk why people like me?????? 71. sex on the first date: No no no no way 72. broken someone’s heart: Probably...I dont want to think about that ;;; 73. had your heart broken: oh man...... a lot

74. been arrested: I am a good noodle 75. cried when someone died: I’m surprisingly apathetic in those situations... It’s not intentional! But I just cant cry 76. fallen for a friend: Whew...every time man.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: On good days 78. miracles: Definitely 79. love at first sight: Nah. It needs time to grow 80. santa clause: Never have really. 81. kiss on the first date: If the timing is right and it feels right, then you do you. I personally wouldn’t unless I was absolutely sure 82. angels: Yes

OTHER:

84. eye color: Brown. 85. favorite movies: Emperor’s New Groove and Iron Giant

WOOO I DID IT.

ALL DONE

Most of my friends have already been tagged, but ya know, I’ll tag the ones I havent seen do it yet.

@mermaibee @twofabricatedtruths @kavourikarma @allshewhispers @tina-nightray @angel-of-music-hyde-no-longer

[thesefoblog]

6.1.2017

On Tuesday, May 30, Wilson and I went to my regular prenatal check-up. I was 1 day away from my due date, and really anxious to have the baby. I thought about the possibility of going into labor or my water breaking basically every single minute of the day. When I brushed my teeth, I’d wonder if I’d have a contraction before I would finish. When I drove to work, I pictured hitting a pothole and breaking my water. When I sat down at my work desk, I’d wonder if I’d make it to the end of the day without going into labor. I was obsessed. I read this thing that said waiting for your baby to be born is like waiting to pick someone up at the airport. Except you don’t know when the flight is, or who you’re picking up.  

At my appointment, everything was looking good/normal. When the doctor took out the doppler to check the baby’s heartbeat, it took her a really long time to find it. I wasn’t worried at all because I could feel the baby moving all day every day, including WHILE she was looking for the heartbeat. She finally found it way up by my ribs, which was NOT where it should be! The baby was definitely not in the “ready position”. My doctor did a quick ultrasound to confirm…and yes, the baby was breech. Again. 

My doctor called the hospital to have them schedule me a c section ASAP. She told me that the next evening I’d get a call with my exact scheduled c-section time and I’d go in on Thursday, June 1st.

 I called my work and told them I’d see them in September and decided to take Wednesday to prepare myself! I filed my state disability paperwork, installed the car seat, and FINALLY packed my hospital bag. On Wednesday evening, I waited for my call from the hospital to get my surgery time. My doctor told me I’d get the call pretty late because they wait until the very end of the day to schedule for the next day to avoid cancellations/schedule changes. At 9pm, I still hadn’t heard from them, so I decided to call. They had me scheduled….for June 8! I was like, um..no. I need an appointment TOMORROW! They were able to fit me in and told me to be there at 9:30.

 I was so excited, I could barely sleep! So a typical night. During my last few weeks (or months?) of pregnancy, I pretty much did not sleep.  With the bathroom breaks, constant kicking/punching  in my womb and the need for a large crane to reposition me in my bed every time I needed to move…well, sleep did not come easy.  To be honest, I’m getting way more sleep now than I did when I was pregnant.

 The next morning, Wilson and I made our way to Roseville. I wanted to give birth in the hospital in Vacaville which is way closer to home and where I took the hospital tour…but for a scheduled c section, I had to go to Roseville. Don’t ask me to explain why because I don’t know.  But I heard Roseville was super fancy, the best hospital…it was nice, but Vacaville was better. But…after giving birth in the Dominican Republic, I won’t complain!

 When I checked in, there was a lady in the waiting area with me who said she thought her water had broken. That was exciting. Anyway, I got checked into a triage room…which are like the smallest, most uncomfortable rooms. But they said I’d only be there for a little while so it was fine. I was in a bed so it didn’t bother me, but there was nowhere for Wilson to sit, except for the spinny stool the doctors sit on when they come to check on you. Typically the triage rooms are just to determine whether or not the women are in labor, and then they get moved to the delivery rooms right away. I got hooked up to the IV, prepped for surgery and I was completely ready to go….and then my surgery got bumped back. Again. And again. And again. Finally, they were ready for me a little after 2pm. So we spent quite a while in that tiny room!

 I have a complaint about the Roseville Kaiser now…

There was a window on the operating room door. So anyone that walked by could see me completely. In the nude. Oh well.

 Once I was plugged into all the machines and full of the necessary numbing solutions, I laid down and I felt SUPER nauseous right away. I started gagging, but I was numb, so I didn’t have the strength to throw up. It was weird. I thought I was going to die for a second because I had to really focus to fill up my lungs with air…my chest just felt SO heavy. I was super scared and started kind of panicking! They gave me a shot to make the nausea go away and it worked super fast…within ten seconds. I wished I had a stash of those earlier in my pregnancy! Once the nausea was gone, I felt so much better and my anxiety went away.

 They let Wilson in, and I could tell he was really nervous. I didn’t know if he’d survive the OR because he even had to leave the room when Maya got stitches on her foot. He kept rubbing my hair and my face and I think it more to calm himself down than for me! Everything happened so fast, and before we knew it, the baby was out! Everyone kept saying over and over how big his head was. I was grateful that he was breech haha. They also said he was SO big and so chunky, etc. I felt bad for him…they were totally body shaming my newborn.

 They weighed him, and I guess they were right! He WAS a big boy- 9 lbs, 2 oz, 20.75 inches long, born at 2:57pm. Wilson cut the umbilical cord, and they brought the baby over to me and I got to hold him. I could not believe that whole baby fit inside of me!

After a while, Wilson went with the baby to the recovery room and I followed a little later. I was pretty amazed that at that point, I could already move my legs a little! I had flashbacks to Maya’s delivery where even the next morning the nurses had to like flip me around to clean me because I couldn’t move still. Things were so different this time…in a good way!

 We spent a few hours in the recovery area, where they have a nurse with you 24/7, and during that time we had our first visit from my parents, who brought Maya. Maya is always very shy when we take her to meet babies in the hospital, but this time she was more brve and outgoing and even wanted to hold the baby. It was so exciting and sweet to see my two babies together…she waited so long for that moment! Wilson surprised me with roses and balloons, which was so nice. I love a good balloon bouquet.

After a few hours, they moved us to our regular room. It was nice, but not as nice as the rooms I saw on the tours in Vacaville. But, on the other hand, it was MUCH nicer than my hospital room in the DR. Perspective.

 At this point, I could fully move my legs. I had pretty much no pain, but I was still moving pretty slowly because I was just a few hours recovered from major abdominal surgery. I had to keep reminding myself of that, because I honestly felt great. The only time I felt a little pain was when I’d go from a laying position to sitting up….the muscles required for that were just not firing correctly. But it was not bad AT ALL.

My nurse came in to help me stand up. She told me that I could take it slow, and if I got up and realized it was too much, I could just dangle my legs off the side of the bed instead. We just needed to get some blood flowing. In my mind, I was like oh, this is going to be easy! I can like run up the hallways right now! And guess what? It WAS easy! Ok, I wasn’t quite running up the hallway….but not only did I stand, I walked. And the nurse had given me a walker but I didn’t need it at all.

To compare to my recovery with Maya again...the day after my c section I was barely able to stand up straight and I was just barely hobbling along…definitely could’ve used a walker! But this time, it was just like 4 hours after surgery and I was walking fine! It was so crazy. I kept waiting for the pain to come, the meds to wear off or whatever…but it really never happened. My recovery was amazing and fast. Wilson had to keep telling me to slow down because I would kind of forget I just had surgery. I don’t know if they accidentally cut out something that made me feel no pain? Haha. But my doctor was definitely some kind of magician.  I never even took anything stronger than ibuprofen (except during surgery, obviously).

Our first night with Luke was…sleepless! Wilson actually had to be at work the very next day at 5am so he had planned to leave and sleep at home, but the baby kept spitting up blood, which was scary. Wilson decided to stay (thank goodness). The doctors told us it was completely normal, especially for c section babies to have blood and amniotic fluid that they cough up for the first few days so they weren’t concerned…but there is just something unsettling about hearing your newborn choking on blood every half hour during the first night of his life.

The next day, Wilson left for work and I was alone!! I was super nervous about this before giving birth…I told Wilson it would be impossible for me to handle the baby on my own right after surgery…but it turns out, I felt great and was able to take care of the baby with no problems! Also, he was sleeping pretty much allllll day, which helped. In fact, at this point, I hadn’t even really seen his eyes! I think he was not ready to be born yet. Sometimes he would like flutter his eyelids and raise his eyebrows and you could just tell he wanted to open them, but he couldn’t quite get it.  We had our second round of visitors on Friday- my brother and his family and my mom and Maya came again. I even got dressed for the occasion. Well, just FYI, when you give birth they give you a special lactation hospital gown…with 2 holes for your boobs. So its not really something you want to be wearing to greet visitors.

The baby continued to sleep for hours at a time, which was amazing. But right before we got discharged on Saturday morning, a lactation consultant came to see us and said they were concerned about is weight loss. He had lost 8% of his weight…which was not a big deal, as long as he didn’t lose any more. They delivered a hospital grade pump to my house to use and told me to wake up the baby every 2 hours to feed him. And thus ended my sleep. 

We left the hospital around noon on Saturday and we actually rode in the elevator with the lady from the waiting room while we were checking in…apparently her water HAD broken because there she was with a baby! 

Looking back on my birth experience, I would say I have zero regrets. It didn’t go how I had hoped/planned, but I really can’t complain about how things turned out. Plus, I’m super grateful I did not birth a 9lb baby vaginally. The past 9 weeks have been quite a blur (hence the super delayed post...), but we are completely happy with our sweet baby boy!

You survived this post, time for some pictures!!

Papa and baby in the OR...he was very white at birth! haha

In the recovery room

Meeting big sister

98th percentile head accentuated by extra tight swaddle

Taking home our squishy-cheeked boy!

[forthehopebeyondtheblue-blog]

The Story of Abigail’s Birth

                                                                                            January 12, 2019

I’m propped up in bed with our sweet babe swaddled and lying besides me. Abigail Claire Shrift was born at 10:25 Sunday night on January 6 weighing 8 pounds 11.8 ounces. She is absolutely perfect. I can’t believe tomorrow marks one week of life for her. Early last Saturday morning (4:30 am to be precise), I woke up with some mild cramping. I got up to use the restroom and, upon inspection, realized I had lost my mucus plug/ had the “bloody show” as it called. I laid back in bed and was awake until 6:30 with mild, irregular cramping until I fell back asleep until 8:00 or so. This essentially was the start of it all. Esther was gearing up to go to the airpot that morning, but was able to change her flight to the following day since her ticket was with Southwest. All of Saturday I had off and on cramps (some much worse than others), but for the most part was able to carry on as normal… Minus, of course, the odd slightly exhilarating, slightly terrifying knowledge that labor had begun, but I had no idea how it would unfold or progress.

By evening, the cramping had began to worsen. I went to bed but only dozed between contractions before calling it quits on sleep and getting up at 11:45. From then on, contractions began coming every 3 to 10 minutes. Around 4:00am, contractions were close enough and for long enough that we called the birthing center. We packed up and made the drive to the center with Mom, Dad, and Esther’s concerned faces ushering us out the door. Upon arriving at the birthing center, the nursing monitored the baby’s heart rate and my contractions for 30 minutes or so. With the heart rate monitor and contraction timer (not sure the exact term) strapped around my belly, it was hard to get into a comfortable position, so it was a great relief when they had gathered enough data to remove them. The midwife on call checked my cervix (not a fun experience) and said I was 90% effaced (still not sure what that means) but only 3 centimeters dilated. Because I wasn’t far enough along, they couldn’t admit me into the hospital yet. They let me labor in the room for awhile to see if I would progress enough to be admitted, but by 7am the midwife’s shift was ending and we made decided to head back home without going through another cervix check. Before we left, they gave me some medicine intended to help me rest.

Once we got home, David took a nap, and I laid down for a little bit, but the contractions became too painful to labor through them on my side. The initial cramps I experienced Saturday had been replaced with contractions that radiated throughout my lower back and hips. We had learned in the birthing class that back labor is due to the baby being face up and one way to cope is to apply counter pressure to your back and hips. As a result for most of labor, David had the palms of his hands pressed into my lower back and would squeeze as hard as he could when the contractions came on.

During this time, Mom and Dad had dropped off Esther at the airport and were at a local church service. They came back, though, and Dad became my hip-squeezing labor helper for awhile. I sat on the exercise ball in the living room with my body dropped over a mound of pillows stacked on the couch. Mom held my hand and at one point got me some toast which I ended up throwing up. The hospital staff had told me to not come back until my contractions were 2-3 minutes apart for an hour. By 1:00pm the intensity had really ramped up, but my contractions were still 2-6 minutes apart. I hadn’t felt the baby move in awhile (one of the things they told us to pay attention to), so David called the hospital. I could hear David’s responses to the many questions they were asking him, and it sounded as if they didn’t think it was that necessary for me to come in again yet. At this point, I was in a lot of pain and was so frustrated that it was sounding like they might encourage me to wait it out more. Praise the Lord, though, we were told to come in. I cried on the way there from the sheer pain and exhaustion of it all, but the trip did not last long. The short distance the birthing center is from our house was a blessing I did not anticipate being as wonderful as it was. Upon arriving, a midwife named Blanch was on call. A slightly portly woman with a gray bob, she had a very motherly reassuring presence in a no-nonsense kind of way. After monitoring the baby’s heart rate and my contractions again for what felt like forever, Blanche checked my cervix and said I was 8 centimeters dilated! I cried tears of relief that I wouldn’t be sent back home.

After this, the timeline of things is a bit of a blur. Our nurse, Lynnette, was absolutely wonderful. I want to cry just thinking about it. At 7pm, Blanches’ shift was up and Jennifer Taylor, one of the midwives I had seen for my prenatal check-ups, came on call. When I was next checked, I was 9.5 cm dilated. Jennifer wasn’t in the room much but told me I would know when to push. It was a little unclear, however, since my contractions were all still in my back so I really never had the urge to bear down like some women describe. Throughout this time, I labored on my hands and knees on the hospital bed, tried out the birthing tub only to quickly get out once I realized I felt weightless and David couldn’t squeeze my hips like before, and on my side with the peanut ball between my legs. At some point when I had transitioned from my hands and knees to my side, I began to feel something in between my legs. This was before I began pushing. I frantically told the nurse I thought the baby’s head was crowning. She checked me and called in Jenn and the other hospital staff. It wasn’t the baby’s head but rather my amniotic sac bulging through since my water still hadn’t broken yet. Jenn told me I was ready to start pushing and had me transition to a birthing stool which seemed to help me bear down more. Pushing was incredibly hard, and the contractions were terrible. All throughout, Lynnette and Jean were encouraging me and coaching me through while David continued to squeeze my hips and be the world’s best support. I couldn’t have done it without them. I can still hear Lynnette’s voice saying over and over again, “Come on Mama, come on Mama, you can do it.” At one point, Jenn suggested that I labor through few more contractions then change positions; however, she changed her mind when I ramped up the pushing and more progress was made. I began pushing at 9:00pm and at 10:25, our baby girl was born.

There was a swarm of activity with a respiratory therapist present since the baby had pooped in the amniotic fluid and that can pose problems for breathing. However, she did great, thank you Jesus, and was passed directly up to me. In some ways, I still can’t believe it all happened and that was me- disheveled hair, eyes closed in delirium, hospital gown gaping open and then suddenly a bloody slippery baby coming out of me and being placed on my chest. They let me sit there a few minutes and then had me transition to a the bed where David cut the umbilical cord, I delivered the placenta, and Jenn stitched me up where I tore. Abi almost immediately looked for something to suck on and stuck her wrist in her mouth. After a little bit, David went into the waiting room to share the good news with Mom and Dad and to announce she was a girl much to all of our surprise.

Once Mom and Dad had met the baby, Lynnette helped me to the bathroom and I had one of the strangest experiences of my life. I was shaking uncontrollably and almost passed out twice. On the toilet, I couldn’t get myself to go the bathroom. It was like my body had no communication with the muscles in that area, and I began to wonder if Jenn had stitched up the wrong hole (haha not really but that’s what it felt like). I was finally able to manage a pathetic trickle of pee. Lynnette meanwhile wiped me down with a warm cloth and patiently waited. It was so humbling. I felt so weak, but it also gave me such a vivid picture of the Lord’s description of Ezekiel in His treatment and care of and for Israel. To be covered in blood and be weak and helpless and so tenderly taken care of was something that hadn’t even crossed my mind when I had thought about the whole birth experience. In Ezekiel 16:9, the word of the Lord says, “Then I bathed you with water and washed off your blood from you and anointed you with oil.” After labor and delivery, I have a whole new perspective on that chapter. It also makes me think of 1 Corinthians 6:11, “… But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” After Lynnette helped to clean me up, I was wheeled to the postpartum room and began recovery. It wasn’t until the next day that we settled on her name- Abigail Claire meaning “father’s joy” or “gives joy.”

                                                                                                   March 15, 2019  

Now two plus months after Abigail birth, labor almost seems like a distant memory. Coming home from the hospital felt like resurfacing from Rip Van Winkle’s long slumber in that I felt completely out of touch with the world at large. It seemed hard to believe that world had continued as normal while ours was irreversibly changed. Now Abi is a 13 pound chunk who coos and smiles and takes in the world around her with wide blue eyes. For all of my fear and uncertainties, motherhood has been sweeter than I could have imagined. I continue to be amazed at the Lord’s gift of life.

I pray that Abi will grow in the knowledge and fear of the Lord and that I will remember that while we love her so much it hurts, Jesus loves her even more. She is a gift entrusted to us to shepherd and instruct and nurture. It is a sobering but sweet privilege. I know we will mess up and make stupid decisions because we already have yet that is the beauty of the gospel. Christ has already atoned for our sins and has relieved us of the burden of having to be “everything” for our child. In fact, our calling as Christian parents is to remember our own need for a Savior and to help our child recognize her need as well. In a world that is desperately trying to assuage the hurts and deep wounds of the heart with self-care and motivational manifestos, Jesus tells us we are not enough. We are broken. We are sinful. This grates against our modern “sensibilities.” We have become so focused on ourselves that we have forgotten that Jesus is not our self-help guru nor is He our self-esteem boosting genie. He is the Creator of the universe who has called us to pick up our cross and die to our selfish desires daily. It can be a really hard pill to swallow, but it is on the other side of dying to our sinful desires that true joy and wholeness are found. It’s not intuitive and I fail daily, but I pray that motherhood would be an instrument the Lord uses to draw me closer to Himself as well as to use me in Abi’s life to lead her to the One who knit her together in my womb and promises to never leave or forsake her.

[dinatlou]

DO ALL 100!

Here we go… I’ve finally done it!

1: is there a boy/girl in your life?Nope, I’m a single Pringle

2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?It wasn’t actually one person it was a group of people and absolutely not. I can’t forgive them for what they said and did (I’m not going to get into it tho)

3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”My cat :)

4: what’s something you really want right now?Idk, I’m not sure I want to get too deep about it lol

5: are you afraid of falling in love?Me!? Afraid of falling in love? What would make you think such a thing (you’re totally right)

6: do you like the beach?I do! Although I don’t go loads of tbh. The beach is so calming and peaceful. I just get stressed in the summer bc bees and wasps are about.

7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?I slept on one half of a sofa while someone’s sat in the other half?? Does that count? Wasn’t like cute or anything. It’s family so like????

8: what’s the background on your cell?Just generic one that came on my phone. My lock screen is me, my sister and two of my cousins

9: name the last four beds you were sat on?Mine x3 and my sisters :’)

10: do you like your phone?Yeah I do!! Idk what else to say ahaha

11: honestly, are things going the way you planned?NO OMG?! It’s actually the complete opposite to what I had in mind. I never even imagined my life would be remotely like this but I suppose my minds like a little dream land or something?

12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?Probably two of my friends. I never had their numbers because we would just talk on Facebook or whatever.

13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?Poodle!!

14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?Emotional!! If you get a cut, it’ll scab over. If you break a bone, you get a cast. If you’re hurt mentally/emotionally/psychologically there isn’t a quick fix to that

15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?Hmmm, idk. Maybe a zoo? Don’t hate me I know they shouldn’t be there but..idk

16: are you tired?Always ahahha

17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact?I’ve already answered this one and I cba to write it out again ahaha

18: are they a relative?The girl I talked about in the other ask isn’t no, she’s a friend.

19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?I mean, maybe if I had an ex to even get back with?

20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?Never apparently, never kissed anyone

21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?Well, one I’m single. But if I was with someone and I knew I was going to be with them forever I would marry them…but not now. I’m only 17 and I can’t fork out for a wedding rn ahaha

22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again?Again, seems impossible.

23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?0 haha

24: is there a certain quote you live by?I guess “Ohana means family” from Lilo and Stitch? I used to say it a lot as a kid. It’s stuck really. Family is really important to me but I’m also a believer that family isn’t always blood

25: what’s on your mind?lol too much

26: do you have any tattoos?No, but I think I might get one at the end of the year (hopefully school won’t notice)

27: what is your favorite color?Hmmm, probably purple

28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips?Erm….unlikely

29: who are you texting?Currently no one. The last person I text in general was my sister lol

30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?They’re non existent!

31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?Yes, think I have a sixth sense or something. I know when people are being off with me, don’t like me, I can kinda guess if they’re lying or not telling me something.

32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?Nope! Don’t really have many friends anyway

33: do you think anyone has feelings for you?No, probably not. But if someone out there does, hiya! Make ya self known (although a relationship is probs the last thing I need rn)

34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?Nope! My eyes are small and so dark brown they’re nearly black so…

35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?Again, weird concept bc someone will be stood in front of me kissing no one?

36: were you single on valentines day?Of course I was? Have you noticed the pattern here?

37: are you friends with the last person you kissed?I’m going to continue to be sarcastic about this until the end you do realise?

38: what do your friends call you?My name? Mads or Maddie.

39: has anyone upset you in the last week?Idk, I’m upset a lot of the time anyway ahahah

40: have you ever cried over a text?Yep! I know ew

41: where’s your last bruise located?I’m not too sure? Probably my leg or something ahah

42: what is it from?Probably knocked it off a table or my bed lol

43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?Now :) contemplating changing my plans to get awayyyy (it won’t happen tho lol)

44: who was the last person you were on the phone with?Apparently my dad last week! You can tell I like never ring people.

45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes?Any of my trainers tbh. My trainers or another pair of shoes that idk what they’re called lol

46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?Na bc school. Can’t wear hats. Don’t really have any to wear anyway

47: would you ever go bald if it was the style?Probably not? Idk

48: do you make supper for your family?Nope!

49: does your bedroom have a door?It does but I barely close it?

50: top 3 web-pages?Idk. I don’t use a computer or laptop too often unless it’s for school stuff or Netflix

51: do you know anyone who hates shopping?Erm, probably. My dad likes food shopping but not like shopping shopping.

52: does anything on your body hurt?My shoulder, I pulled a muscle last night!

53: are goodbyes hard for you?Depends who it is and how long it’s for?

54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?Probably Coke :/

55: how is your hair?Erm, it’s good?? Idk what this questions really asking tbh?? It’s short and thick and kinda blond now??

56: what do you usually do first in the morning?Roll over. Then go on my phone when I pull myself together

57: do you think two people can last forever?I like to think yes. That there’s someone for everyone and all that. But people change and grow naturally so it’s easy for two people to move apart.

58: think back to january 2007, were you single?OF COURSE!?

59: green or purple grapes?Either I don’t mind. I eat purple grapes more bc that’s what my parents buy

60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug?Idk

61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now?Erm yep

62: when will be the next time you text someone?Idk. Tonight, tomorrow? Normally it’s me texting my sister a video or smth

63: where will you be 5 hours from now?Asleep!

64: what were you doing at 8 this morning.Sleeping, I woke up just before 9.

65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked?No one. This time last year was difficult. Didn’t have time for that

66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?Yep! My two friends

67: did you kiss or hug anyone today?No. Did yesterday though

68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night?“I feel so sick”

69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?Yeah of course I have? But then again, hasn’t everyone?

70: how many windows are open on your computer?Currently 0, I’m not on my computer.

71: how many fingers do you have?All 10 :)

72: what is your ringtone?Generic iPhone one

73: how old will you be in 5 months?Still 17…but I’ll nearly be 18

74: where is your mum right now?In the living room

75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?Bc they were a twat (I didn’t love them but said person fits this question best)

76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?Nope!

77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?Well, two people….I’m not going to get into this though

78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?Yes. Kinda links to the earlier twat

79: is there anyone you know with the name mike?Yep! One of teachers hahah

80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?No I don’t think so

81: how many people have you liked in the past three months?0

82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?Nope

83: will you talk to the person you like tonight?Nope, don’t like anyone

84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?Unlikely scenario but probably my best friend

85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care?Well…yeah I would if they’re killing themselves everyday?

86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?We got given the tickets for free off a group of lads!!

87: who was your last received call from?Sadly the doctors ahaha

88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?This screams butterfly effect to me….couldn’t

89: what is something you wish you had more of?Time? Energy? Confidence?

90: have you ever trusted someone too much?I have total trust issues. So probably :)

91: do you sleep with your window open?Occasionally

92: do you get along with girls?More than boys yeah. Idk. I haven’t found my people

93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?No?

94: does sex mean love?Apparently not to some

95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?Yeah? Bc I’m locked in a room by my fkn self

96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?:)))

97: did you sleep alone this week?Erm yeah every night?

98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?I guess yeah!

99: do you believe in love at first sight?I think it’s more lust? Or love with their looks/vibe? You can’t love a person by just looking at them

100: who was the last person that you pinky promise?Couldn’t tell you!

[chellexo]

Who was your childhood crush? I swore up and down that I didn’t have a crush on my preschool best friend Drew, buuut I’m sure that as a lie. He had a big crush on me and even got me a little picture of us in a heart-shaped frame, haha.

Do you like Red Bull? Nope

Do you drink regular or diet sodas? Regular, but I don’t drink much soda.

Would you rather eat your pizza cold or hot? Hot

What are you doing tomorrow? Going to training at work, then watching The 100 season finale at 9 :)))

Are you over the age of 21? Yes.

Would you rather date a girl/guy with a British accent or an Irish accent? British

Where is the biggest scar on your body? Probably on my left calf, from a swingset when I was younger. I also have one on my foot from when I fell and had to get stitches in 11th grade.

Are you trying to avoid something by filling surveys out? Yeah. Applying to jobs, taking a shower, cleaning up.

Have you ever had fake nails? Very cheap ones, ha

Do you say the “f” word a lot? To myself, yeah.

Has someone seen you naked in the past month? No

Does everyone deserve a second chance? Depends on the circumstance

How many concerts have you been to? Excluding festivals and such, I’ve been to like 7 big ones.

When is the last time you wore a dress? Last week, I think?

Do you believe in karma? Kind of

How many days until your next birthday? 4 months and 13ish days

What are your plans for this weekend? Maybe working, maybe going back down to my college apt to pick up some stuff and hang out with my roommate.

Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? Ehhhhh...I’ve never had a guy call me that, so idk. 

What’s irritating you right now? Aunt Flo, writing cover letters, figuring out how to actually organize my life

Is there anyone you wish was still in your life? Definitely.

Do you get distracted easily? Kind of

Is this year the best year of your life? No

Do you have a best friend? Yes

Do you think it’s right for straight guys to get their tongue pierced? Haha, I don’t think it’s wrong, but ouch. 

Last thing you drank? Coffee.

Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? Eh, kind of. Just a stud though. I probably won’t ever do it.

Would you marry for money? Slightly. lol jk...

Have you had braces? Yep

You sleep more on your back, front,or sides? Sides

Do you get along with your parents? Usually (when it doesn’t involve politics)

Have you ever had a birthday party? Yep

What should you be doing right now? Writing cover letters and applying to jobs.

How do you feel about your life right now? Still struggling to get it into some kind of order. Also struggling with the need to know what my “calling” is and what I “should” be doing.

How’s this week been? A bit stressful (family conflicts)

What happened at 11:30 am today? It’s 10:07am, so idk yet :)

How did you feel when you woke up today? My cat woke me up at 4:30am to feed her and wouldn’t stop clawing at my face until I got up (she’s a real charmer). Then I was plagued with the sharpest cramps ever that wouldn’t go away for the next two hours, as I writhed around in my bed and tried to distract myself with YouTube videos. So...I felt irritated and agonized. I’m okay now. #femalewarrior

Kiss on the first date? Depends on if I really like the guy :) #pretendingiveeverevenreallybeenonalegitdate

Would you ever donate blood? Yes, and have multiple times before

Have you ever driven without a license? No

What time did you go to sleep last night? Around midnight-ish

Where did you buy the shirt you’re wearing now? I got it from my university (senior shirt)

Did you sing at all today? A little, to myself

When’s the last time you cried? This morning

Do you believe in love? I desperately want to.

This time last year, can you remember who you liked? No one.

Two days from now this time, where will you be? Probably at home. Maybe at work. Definitely an #emotionalwreck from that 100 finale.......

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? No.

Have you ever thought you were going to marry someone? Like, someone I’ve dated? No

Do you get butterflies around the person you like? N/A (but I used to. I miss having a crush.)

Who was the first person you talked to today? My cat, angrily. Then my sister. 

Do you smoke weed everyday? Lol no

Could you go a month without cursing? It’d be so difficult, but maybe

Have you ever ridden a horse? Yep

You can take one friend on vacation with you, who? Emily, to London. :)

You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life, what is it? Water.

Have you ever been nice to someone who treated you like crap? Yes.

Are you anything like you were at this point last year? Somewhat, yeah

Have you lost contact with someone you wish you didn’t? Yes.

When was the last time you felt like your heart was actually breaking? The end of my friendships with two of my roommates.

Who are your favorite people to talk to when you’re down? God, Brigitte, myself

Does the person you like, like you back? N/A (but this hasn’t happened for me yet)

When’s the last time you talked with the opposite gender on the phone? Who? My Dad, idk when

Do you think you are a good person? I try

What did you do today? Applied for a job, straightened my sister’s hair, fed my cat and fish

What will you be doing in 3 hours? Hopefully I will have showered and will be either applying to jobs or cleaning/organizing my room

Do you miss the way things used to be? Some things, yeah.

Have you held hands with anyone in the past three months? Yes.

Does anyone call you baby? Nope

Are you a patient person? I can be

What were you doing this morning at 8AM? Applying to a job

Have you ever thought you liked someone, and then found out that you really didn’t? Lol every time

Do you believe ex’s can be friends? After awhile, yeah

What is the last thing you said out loud? Something about my sister and her ex

Are you ticklish? Somewhat

Has anyone ever mistaken you for someone else? Probably

Do you like to text or call more? Text

Do you have any kids? No.

What are you wearing right now? A maroon and gray hoodie with leggings

How was your day? A bit emotional and painful, but it’s on the up and up

What color are your eyes? Green

What are you listening to? My sister singing a song from Hamilton

[sysig]

TAZ Ep. 57 Liveblog

The episode isn't even out yet and I'm going to Actually Die

IT'S HERE

FRICK

RED ROBES RIGHT OFF THE BAT JUST KILL ME NOW

GAME OVER

MAGNUS REMEMBERS

I'M DYING ACTIVELY RIGHT NOW I'M DYING AND WE'RE ONLY 30 SECONDS IN

CAM IS HERE IN THE REMINDER

Aight aight aight

We're back to being caught up

I AM ALREADY CUSSING INTRO MAN

*aggressively hums along*

Abso-fricken'-lutely

Someone get this man some wooden dice

Well frick??

Dexterity saving throw please

Uhm

WOAH

Right right

Hot dang why are you here RR

Of course you have Taako, you are TV

Why you laugh

"Burly"

MORE HECKING MUSIC

Oh gosh

IS THIS WONDERLAND ROUND 3???

It's hecking good that's what

Oh good

Thank, at least you're taking care of my boy's body

But you can heal Magnus tho, I think that'd count?

Oh! Stats, good

HAHAHA

Good one Griffi

I mean

Oooh

In a tiny wooden body vs. the arm-pulling Mango body

Well

Are you ticklish

Oh nice

Ruff boi, that's what

What a shocker

Oh shit

Please no, my boy is made of wood

Hmmmmmm imagine

I mean yeah

Mango is going to die in a mannequin, and then I'll die

Not against Railsplitter thank you

Aw Merle ;;

Hey no, trees are wood

FRICK

NO

MY BOY

I KNEW IT I CALLED IT

MERLE'S DEAD

NO HE'S DEAD SHUT UP

HNG

Pretty much, you're right

HAH

HOT HECK NICE

GRIFF YOU WERE RIGHT

I just noticed how long this episode is, nice

Yeas

100%

Heh, nice~

Well if one didn't work, let's try 10

Hot dang, cast that on Magnus, he'll be great

WAIT NO DON'T ATTACK MANGO'S BODY

Okay 2d6 isn't that bad, and he was just healed I guess

Jeez tho

I think Taako's made a death save once

I mean yeah, you're right

Why is this exactly what somebody said once, why is this accurate

No ;;

I mean I'm glad he saved but like

Please no more fives Merle

What the heck

JEEZ

JEEZ

I

Heh

While the other mannequins are there?

That's cute

Oooh nice, get to see the Magnetic Charge, that's neato

I'm not dying yet, this is either a good sign or a terrible terrible sign

Carey taught you so well <3

Clipped into the belt, got it memorized

Hahah, he just like floats the armour

Poor mannequin

Bye glasses, I didn't know you were metal

Don't need glasses if you're dead *touches temple*

Taako

It's time to stop

Vocal chords are? Physical?

Haha, you have to charismatically call the Lance

FRICK YEAH, that's awesome

Stop smiling, Edward, you lost the Charisma roll

GRIFFIN

DON'T

I DON'T TRUST YOU IN THIS VERY MOMENT

THE MOMENT YOU STARTED CLAPPING

Okay nevermind this is good and I trust you

I hate this but this is very good

FRICK

"Is Magnus going to tear off his own arms" this still counts okay

What the frick

He literally unarmed you

What

Uhm

More music and now I don't trust it

"Great pain" inner peace?

Oh hey I know that thing

Alright...

Wait but it didn't come back? Either way I like

Like two moons?

I

You mean Faerun? Not Magnus' home?

Who said shit, but I agree

Great thanks

Six rounds, s'all good

She float

Merle is dead, be quiet

Hahah

Noice, good work Taako

Why are we still attacking Magnus' body tho, please stop?

Merle

Both of you, you need to stop

I mean according to Clint you're not wrong??

Protection from both? Why

That sounds wildly helpful, maybe shoulda led with that?

Hey maybe don't

What??

You're still floating, how long does Levitation last

Why are you talking to the Red Robe this is the weirdest thing

HE ONLY NEEDS 1HP GIVE IT TO HIM PLEASE

Hey maybe don't die tho?

What, why, he only needed 1 please maybe don't?

You said you had 4, he literally only needed 1, why are you like this

Frick you Cam

HAHA NICE

Gross X3

Ooh

Bless you Merle

Don't kill my son

He doesn't have thAT MANY HP STOP ROLLING DICE

And now Taako is dead, great

Sleepy soul boy

I like how "the" is not part of Chance Lance's name

HEY MAYBE DON'T DO THAT??

3d10....

Okay good, yes

DOG PILE ON EDWARD

I can envision that so well, thank you Griffi

Oh

Is Edward gonna be eated?

Oh shit

WHILE DEAD

So badass

JEEZUS EDWARD IS DEADWARD

I can't imagine why

Well jeez, wish we could stop that but ah...dead

Ohp

WOAH

Yeah man same

"Wrong with her" Hmmmm

How 'bout that Suffering there Lydia?

Damn...

DAMN

WHAT??

NO

HOW COULD YOU

FRUK

HEY BBY NOT READY FOR THIS ADVERTISEMENT ZONE

You are definitely my clock, thank you

HNG

Aight time to check the tumblees and see how much everyone else is dying

We can't have gotten to the point where Griffi's heart was beating super fast...can we? It's gotta still be up the line, I'm scared very thank you

I love this fanfic in the Shout Box, this is great

No it's great Griffi, we've got it, we got it five years ago

Thank, all I ask is that you give my boys their proper resolutions, thank again

Ah man, please record it, I want to see that please please please

On Tumblr - there was a vore thing? I missed it very much? It did not register I have to relisten to this immediately

"Oh btw MBMBAM TV" It's good bby, I want to watch it so much

Griffin

GRIFFIN

WHEN YOU SAY THINGS LIKE THIS I GET 20% MORE SCARED EVERY TIME

I TRUST YOU BUT ALSO FRICK YOU

March 2nd, hnnnggg

THIS MUSIC IS POPPIN' THO IT'S TOTALLY ROUND 3 HOLY

Taako's dead and Magnus' body is gone and Merle is frickin' almost dead again

LICHES GET STITCHES YUP

Magnus

Yay ;u; Steven the fish is fine

I believe you Mango

Hahah

"Heal't"

Red Robe hey, shut up

Can mannequins be enthralled

Hahaha

Magnus would hate that, it's true

Well shit great wonderful good

Thank, yes, thank for explicitly breaking my heart

Kill the building, kill it

Save Rowan and co.

Hmmmmm that doesn't sound good

Ayyyyy

Good job boys

Only problem is MAGNUS' BODY IS GONE

MAYBE DON'T

Woah??

Thank you Antonia ;;

Yeah just a little

Hahah, "I lost my pinkie" "Are you a mannequin?"

Hahaha

Antonia you are lovely

But where is Rowan and Sterling, I'm concerned

HAHAHAH Oh Taako, friendship wins the day

Ay there's Sterling

Now where's my other son

What

Woah, too much

But the halflings?

But why Merle? Taako was the most hurt?

I'm just confused, gotta relisten

YAY ROWAN

But yeah, no, this is kinda important I guess

"Having a fit" accurate

"Your arm is wood, my whole body is wood AND I'm missing an arm"

More memories, frick

OH SHIT

Hide something............terrifying

HNG

Insignia

What does it look like tho

Also music

JUNE AND JACK

OH MY GOD IT TOTALLY IS THO???

FRICK

FRICK FRICK FRICK FRICK

FRIIICK

Yeah no

Magnus I can think of things for you to lose but uh

Oh yeah, they're out of Wonderland now

MY SPECIAL BOY

How long has he been calling ;;

Hahah

FRICK

RED ROBE

Taako please

Ango, gone already no ;;

There's only 10 minutes left, what's gonna pop off

Tomorrow hahahahahahahahahaha

Hold up, gotta whisper into a coin

Aw Merle ;u; The beach dwarf leading the party

Oh how homey

Wait is this

Oh gosh, oh man, ahhhh nooo

Finally my boys rest ;;;;

Mannequin dreams anD THE MUSIC RETURNS

Okay, yeah, the Voidfish touched on this

Is this because his body is dead?

Ohh shoot, a whole book

Larry Burnsides

OH SHIT THERE IT IS

HOLY SHIT

~We're following the Red Robe~

IT'S THE PLACE??

IT'S THE PLACE

WHERE'S THE POD

THERE IT IS

SHIT

EPILOGUE IS HERE

DOUBLE SHIT

TRIPLE FRICK SHIT I KNEW IT

WOAH WHAT

"I P R E"

Yeah by like seven years

WAIT WHAT

WELL OKAY THEN, GREAT

How the heckle do you attach a Lich to a body

I'm

Hey y'know what I'm super into that, I love the truth from the BOB

Also hey, amnesia, the hardest thing to successfully pull off

Shit

A humanman

You can frickin' hear that smile

ALSO HEY I HATE THAT LINE 

I HATE THIS

I HATE THIS SO MUCH

I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIIIIIIIIIS

JEEZUS I HATE YOU GRIFFIN SO MUCH

I HATE THIS OH MY GOD

BARRY'S FRICKING BACK AND I HATE EVERYTHING

FRICK YOU

Well alright then. Here’s to another two frickin’ weeks