#me: cockroach! Meg

[cosmicdorito]

texts this to Megumi at 3am @jayzeroey

[nonsensical-escapism]

*A snort laugh just barely escaped his lips with the sudden appearance of Chenya, especially because of what he came in to comment on*.

*Leave it to him to show up just with a mention of his name, right??*

"I know technically- they aren't aliens but STILL with the fact they are resistant to literal radiation- it has to make you wonder!"

*The spiral that Chenya then went on about other bugs/things with antenna being aliens made Ellis crack a smile even more*.

"I don't think antenna is the exact criteria I would use to say something is an alien... but still, who knows? I certainly don't know how most bugs came to this planet"

*He shrugs once more and laughs to himself about how random this is*.

Eyo hi Ellis

Hope ur liking Tumblr so far

Also what's your thoughts on cockroaches?

*He turns his head a bit quickly at your sudden appearance before smiling slightly*.

"Ello, Well- I can't say I've got much of an opinion yet. I saw Chenya (@your-local-grinning-cat) seemed to be having fun on here, so I thought, why not?" *he shrugs his shoulders, his jacket rustling*.

"As for cockroaches? Eh, I can't say I'm exactly a huge fan of them..they ought to be some sort of alien with how resilient they are... I'm thankful I haven't come across one yet, I'm not typically adverse to bugs but...not sure I'd handle it well" *he laughs*.

"Sorry if you're a fan of the little devils-"

[man-monsters-and-aliens]

Heyy! I love your blog, and I wanted to ask - do you have any headcannons about the Aliens in MvA? For me Sta'abi seems like a Lesbian...

gaww I'm happy to hear! gosh headcanons are so hard for me, apologies in advance that this is all over the place!!

hmm since it's pride, for fun I'd say Susan & Link are bi, Doc is a transman & aromantic or gay, Bob is nonbinary & pan ace

Coverton is either gay or demi aroace, Sqweep is a nonbinary (trans?)girl & ace lesbian, Sta'abi is pan demisexual, although I'm never set on labeling them but that's my idea!

oh and Gallaxhar is ace, Derek is bi (probably closeted)

‌the monster agents have their own private island where they live work free, nicknamed "Monster Beach"

Susan, ‌Doc, Link, & Bob have separate living spaces, but they share the same (beach) house. There are 3 floors and 1 ground floor, which extends to Susan's area that is the majority of the entire building. There's a lab/garage for Doc's projects just off the main residence, but the real works are at Area 5X. ‌Butterfly sleeps in a cavern of the cove behind a waterfall curtain.

‌Link has a driving license, a piloting licence, and a fishing licence and soon a licence to kill yes he has a car it's his 2nd baby

Link deserves a stuffed animal collection I think, but of course, his no. 1 will always be the rabbit, and they're all grouped on his heating pad rock thing

‌Susan video calls her parents weekly, tries to visit at least once a month but its more of whenever she can

‌Doc & Megamind are buddies. Although when the agents first met Megs it was a monsters vs alien situation (or monsters vs megamind hehe)

‌Doc's cockroach research contributed to the development of adding longevity to the average human which explains why Monger can be 90 and look like that, a less mad science former partner of his is responsible for this

‌there's an international Antarctic base that holds alien tech from around the globe (or at least what isn't "important" in each country's respective secret governments), these are mostly big and useless other than for study, an alien junkyard really

‌not sure how this would happen but I like the idea of Derek occasionally covering live news of the agents at work so a running gag is him getting splashed, slimed, dusted, swarmed, and such

Derek must have majored in meteorology, so there has to be something there. it's a special interest in weather and environmental sciences, but he'd avoid ever being called a nerd so it isn't that well known. he also had a hobby in photography, then wanted to be in front of the camera instead

‌MVA takes place in the same universe as Megamind, The Croods, How To Train Your Dragon, Rise Of The Guardians, Home, and Abominable (Shrek is canonically fictional, so dreamworksception? implying live action Shrek actually)

‌Link's species, the "aquappe", are not directly related to homo sapiens, but one of the cousin's ancestors (homo erectus?). I like to think their species evolutionary process was very back and forth (like a whale), but eventually became modern day mermaids. Like apes and whales they sing, but Link's adjustment to speaking might have affected his vocal cords. He still likes to sing, just shy about it like in the karaoke music party.

‌Link's first language is sign, which he learnt from Monger and few others, he learned proper English from Doc & TV

‌Bob also learned from TV, and Monger talked to him a lot

Bob's consumption/absorption of any material helps him regulate his mass. He floats on saltwater but will eventually break down after a very long period of time.

‌Monger has back scars from asserting his dominance over Link, an accidental acid burn from feeding Bob, and a matching chemical burn with Doc after he showed off one of his inventions

before Area 5X, Monger hunted monsters under an alias, although he was unsuccessful because it turned into a monster romance on at least 2 separate occasions

[citrusreadstoa]

Reading The Burning Maze: Chapter 1 (SPOILERS)

"To Melpomene, the Muse of Tragedy / I hope you're pleased with yourself" Melpomene is laughing in the distance. She's very pleased.

"NO. I refuse to share this part of my story." Oki doki. *closes book* We're done for the day. Jkjkjk he's just embarassed.

"In these pages, only suffering awaits." I love suffering! Gimme more!

"across pits of darkness and around lakes of poison" We were lied to. The Labyrinth is not any less malicious than before. Does this sound like a tamer Labyrinth to you?

"Except that our cloven guide, the satyr Grover Underwood, did not seem to know the way." You think the satyr that is terrified of the underground knows his way around the underground? Y'all delusional. You want a Labyrinth guide, get Rachel. I'm assuming Grover will be of more help later on if and when they go into the Labyrinth again.

"The bumps of his horns were clearly visible beneath the hat." What happened to the rasta cap? I guess everyone needs a change of pace now and then.

"Like... cacti." Like saguaro cacti?! Like the cacti the Erymanthian Boar ate when it dropped the questing party off at the junkyard of the gods?! The lands of scorching death line is killing me, man.

"I just didn't think we'd be wandering around down here for two days." How can you be sure it's been two days? Percabeth got stuck in the Labyrinth for a couple minutes and a full hour passed outside. Please tell me you've been keeping track whenever you poke out into the regular world.

"Perhaps I was too brusque," BRUSQUE (adj.): abrupt or offhand in speech or manner

"And plenty of our own fires." . . . "Best not to talk about it... here." Grover! If we're all gonna die, we need to know so we can make the best of our last days on this Earth! Are the walls listening or something? Don't you dare tell me yet another shoulda-been-dead person is controlling this damn maze again.

"His expression turned wistful," Idk about you, but I would not be wistful about almost dying in a living maze where no one but the walls will hear me scream.

"perhaps coffee and lemon-maple cronuts" CRONUT (n.): (paraphrasing Wikipedia) Invented and trademarked in 2013 by French pastry chef Dominique Ansel, the Cronut is a doughnut-like pastry made from croissant-like dough, filled with flavored cream, and fried in grapeseed oil.

"I wanted to believe my powers were simply recharging." Storybook characters never catch the cold. Fantasy characters' powers are never "just recharging."

"I couldn't even remember the taste of ambrosia, or the names of my sun-chariot horses, or the face of my twin sister, Artemis." That is incredibly concerning. We're talking about something he ate every day, horses he saw and drove every day, and his twin sister with whom he grew up and spent time with -- all three of these every day for thousands of years. His memory deteriorates along with his powers? It's this bad?!

"across the corridor in front of us roared a sheet of yellow fire," Eyyy, cover art!

"But we've wandered into his part of the maze." The Triumvirate's part. The part that belongs to the third emperor. "SCREEE!" The cry of a giant fire-breathing basilisk, I bet. Or a giant fire-breathing cockroach. Serpents and roaches?

"Some sort of avian creature." Giant flying fire-breathing basilisks! Oh wait, the owls. Right. Owls on the cover.

"Grover whipped out his panpipe . . . Meg knelt before the seeds" Super Gardening Bros! Wahoo!

"using its thick black tongue" Do owls have tongues that long? "My sight grew fuzzy. My knees turned to rubber." Does it sap his energy by drinking his blood?

"Strix" That word means nothing to me. I know jack diddly squat about strixes. "Well, killing it could be a problem." Can never kill monsters these day. All endangered species this and invulnerable hide that. Back in my day, you just sliced its head off and that was that.

"giggle nectar" I'm sorry? You tellin' me that the divine equivalent of anesthesia is officially, professionally, and canonically called giggle nectar?

"K-killing the bird will curse you" So it's an arai-lite.

[itsblosseybitch]

Serge Raoul, the SoHo bistro icon who ran Raoul’s, passed away yesterday at the age of 86.

I figured that Griffin Dunne had a few stories about him, and I was correct!

Raoul’s was the location used in the infamous roach scene in Dunne’s feature directorial debut, ADDICTED TO LOVE (1997). The scene has an amazing cameo with Griff’s father, writer Dominick Dunne.

The caption reads:

Serge Raul died after a life well lived at the age of 86. I was a regular at his restaurant in Soho (fittingly called Raul's.) To my amazement, he let me shoot a scene in “Addicted to Love" where Meg Ryan released dozens of cockroaches to ruin her ex-boyfriend's restaurant when a food critic is there to review it. We hired "roach wranglers" to capture them tho I fear a few got away. In this pic I am putting a drugged water bug glued to a spoon up to my father's face who is playing the food critic. He said that during the take when he had to put the spoon in his mouth, the bug woke up and he could feel its tentacles tickle his palate. My dad was a trouper.

[tolerateit]

.

[thenamesblurrito]

imagining the shenanigans for the crossover is hysterical. TFA! arcee realizing theyre all kids and is delighted to teach but also "oh god theyre all kids???? how huge are adults???" ultra magnus slowly turning to look and minimus with horror upon realizing he's not done growing.

shockwave and megs and the cons think the heights wont be so bad. shockblast makes their lines grow cold because "WOW YOURE BIG. SORRY." SNAP! lugnut realizing that TFA!megs is a grown ass man and keeps defaulting to dad mode on accident.

the frumbles realize TFA! soundwave is fully grown but only a year old. little sibling acquired.

I think about crossovers literally All The Time and yes yes all of this

TFA Arcee would have no problem keeping up with these kiddos, she’s a badaft warrior grandma who could probably teach them some things about swordfighting, but also they’d have to be careful not to crush her on accident

Minimus would at first respect Magnus, look at him as a possible role model, but the more he learns about TFA’s Autobot society the more utterly disgusted he’d be. Legal tyranny is still tyranny! The same critiques he has of SNAPs Stratocracy are applicable to TFAs society! How dare the Magnus! I also think Orion and Optimus would get along fairly well? I mean the Autobot faction looks significantly different and Orion would… not like that, but Optimus is cool and seems to be figuring things out as he goes which is deeply relatable. But also talking about the Autobots means mentioning Missy is a flier which would be incredibly strange to TFA

And speaking of TFA fliers, the JETTWINS ARE SNAP STARSCREAMS PARENTS HELLO??? Can you imagine SNAP Starscream meeting these silly goofballs who are smaller and maybe younger than him and mentally comparing them to the clanky old grandpa vibes Jettwins who raised him and just bluescreening from sheer nope?? And the clones—TC and Skywarp would be so insulted but also find it hilarious that this random other Starscream is so pathetic he doesn’t even have siblings and had to clone himself with space magic only to end up with bad copies who don’t even listen to him. Like. SNAP TC and Skywarp take one look at their counterparts and are permanently assured of their own value and competency in comparison to those weirdos

SNAP Lugnut telling TFA Megatron that he’s being very rude, you should put that cannon down before you take somebody’s optic out, watch your attitude kiddo or there’s no dessert tonight. He doesn’t even normally parent like that he just finds TFA Megs much less agreeable than his own darling punk child. This alternate universe guy would be a bad influence! Not to mention just being huge in comparison to TFA Lug

And boy oh boy the TFA cons would not be happy to hear that Shockwave has no affiliation with the faction! That the faction is, apparently, made up of just six ish utter idiots for some reason, and they aren’t even conquering and ruling as is the Decepticon way! What is wrong with these giants?? Are they even Decepticons??? And the SNAP cons would think the same thing, like you are exactly the kind of oppressive function-based regime we are fighting against, get fragged! Galvatron would try to squish TFA Megs like a cockroach after an hour of conversation

SNAP Soundwave would be kind of insulted that his counterpart is a Decepticon but would ignore it in favor of immediately kidnapping him and making him a minion—sorry, minicon. And the TFA minicons would be like miniconception… the sheer chaos and squabbling that would occur. Insane

Crossovers give me life I love them I need them and the sheer utter mismatch of TFA vs SNAP makes it a particularly entertaining crossover to think about. Please someone prevent me from going full niche self indulgent and coming up with proper crossover content and/or somebody else do it for me

[fuckingbanjo]

i need to know if anyone remembers any of these

- Horrid Henry

- Strange Hill High

- Backyardigans

- Tractor Tom

- Koala Brothers

- Tweenies

- Om Nom Stories

- Grizzly Tales for Gruesome kids

- Mister Maker

- Horrible Histories

- The Wiggles

- Lab rats

- The Slammer

- Pocoyo

- Rubbadubbers

- Bear behaving badly

- Sorry i’ve got no head

- Deadly 60

- Mama Mirabelles home movies

- Oggy and the cockroaches

- Harry and his bucket full of dinosaurs

- Maisy

- Boogie Beebees

- Fireman sam

- Pingu

- The Story of Tracy Beaker

- Max and Ruby

- Sooty

- Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto!

- Get Squiggly

- Blue Peter

- Come Outside

- Fimbles

- Balamory

- Bob the builder

- Animal Mechanicals

- Tractor Tom

- Tinga Tales

- The Lingo Show

- Rastamouse

- Prank Patrol

- Me Too!

- Louie

- Kipper

- Meg and Mog

- Chugging on

- 3rd and Bird

- H2O

- Driver Dans story train

- Charlie and Lola

- Fifi and the Flower tots

- Ooglies

- The Hoobs

- Kerwhiz

- I can cook

- Octonauts

- Nina and the Neurons

- In the night garden

- Bear in the big blue house

[photobombingcryptid]

Good to see you still functioning.

"You know me, Megs."

"I'm a damn cockroach. I just cannot die. Anyway, been through literal hell, how are you?"

[drreallyreallystrange]

Weirder asks! 1. who is/are your comfort character(s)? 11. favorite extracurricular activity? 21. something you’ve kept since childhood?

THANKS FOR THE ASK ha ha I nailed it by putting it first so I didn't forget, I am the smartest cryptid I know.

1. My comfort characters are the ones that the narrative tries to kill, and if they survive, the fans have another go. In a nuclear winter there will be cockroaches and inexplicably fresh Twinkies and Clint Barton and Meg Giry. I removed two further sentences. I get wound up about it.

11. Favorite extracurricular activity, rubbing my cat's ears. This is genuinely my favorite extracurricular activity, not one I'm offering to avoid having a 15 pound cat sit on my chest when she feels ignored. *wheeze* Otherwise, recurve archery.

21. I'm rules lawyering this one to avoid the amount of things I tried to keep that have been taken or lost since. A swag lamp shaped like an owl. Swag Owl is older than me, was my Grandma's and scared me as a child - his eyes glow red - yet I loved him and always asked Grandma to turn Swag Owl on. It's a cloudy day, so I'll turn Swag Owl on for you.

[scabopolis]

lv au week, day 2: super heroes

Title: superbloom Fandom: Veronica Mars Rating: PG-13 for content, R for swears (Veronica writes in her feelings journal and really lets those swears go) Pairing: Logan Echolls/Veronica Mars Other Characters: Mentions of Mac and Meg Additional Tags: Secret identity (again?! what?), unnecessary epistolary literature (does a journal count as epistolary?), half-baked world building, a vague understanding of superhero lore Word Count: ~1,075 Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7

***

Again, written solely because @cubbiegirl and @marshmellowbobcat are earth angels. I even added a title this time so that MB doesn’t have to come up with one. 

Why did I write this as Veronica’s journal? Mostly because it’s a style which seems to be a fanfic right of passage and I haven’t tried it so...here we are.  

I probably owe a lot to other superhero universes and their world building (as in, referring to them as ‘supers’ ala The Incredibles). What are the full extent of Logan and Veronica’s powers? *shrug emoji*

***

Date: February 15 Tracked a low-level Kane agent to a tourist trap bistro in downtown San Diego. Place was packed. Is this the new thing? Shitty men forget to make Valentine’s Day reservations, so they make them for the day after? 

Thought I had the guy but when I mistimed my pulse he metamorphosed into a cockroach and scurried away. 

Best part of the night was the chocolate mousse I got to-go. Despite appearances within, the food wasn’t too bad. 

Date: February 17 Caught up to Cockroach. Real name is Abel Koontz. Slimy guy tried to escape again, but Mac outfitted me with a souped up Morph Choke as backup — emphasis on the choke. Gonna need to recalibrate that a bit, Mackenzie. 

Bonus! Forgot it was laundry day, so had to wear my backup uni. Next time I run into Meg out in the field I’ll have to ask her if she can see my underwear through it. 

Date: February 18 Finally got around to watching season two of The Boys. Where do they get this shit? 

If Piznarski brings up forming some sort of super team for the 7-millionth time at the summit this year, I’m siccing Clayton on him.

Date: February 21 Got into a fight with Mac. Technically my fault. 

I faded while in public, and look, I get it. 

Being detected while living as my alter would be bad. BUT!! Being forced to interact with my ex as he is on a date with a woman who legitimately looks like she could be my doppelganger is very bad. 

Date: February 22 Clarified with Mac: me fading in public did not worry her. Me tripping Leo on purpose as I faded was apparently a problem.

Date: February 24 Cockroach stood me up.

Date: February 25 For all that is good and holy if another fucking cocky cowboy of a super moves to Neptune, I am going to lose my shit. This newest one? Got in my way as I attempted to track Kane, Jr into a warehouse. Fucking Smirky McCowboy stepped in my way and assured me I didn’t want to follow. Something about a dozen armed guards with guns aimed at the door. MAYBE THAT WAS MY PLAN!

(Because, of course the guy ripped a powers page right out of Superman’s book and has x-ray vision.)

(And, his uni? Not hard to tell when a super has money. They’re always the worst.)

Date: February 28 Ran into Smirky McCowboy again. This time outside of a poker game hosted by a real estate developer with connections to Kane. Smirky said it was a coincidence. 

Still no sign of Cockroach. 

Date: March 2 FUCKING HELL. He beat me to it. AGAIN! How is he doing this? 

Date: March 4 Smirky’s name is apparently Logan. Which I learned because I was getting coffee at Willow Grove (just minding my business while covertly eavesdropping on previously mentioned real estate developer) when some guy sat at my table. Unprompted. Uninvited. UNWELCOME.  

Mask or no mask, THAT SMIRK. 

The more concerning thing is that his x-ray vision apparently sees through the skeletal enhancements Mac wired into my mask, meaning he ID’d me right away. 

Date: March 5 Why do they keep coming here? Doesn’t New York have more crime? Go there!

Mac says it’s my fault for busting the Fitzpatricks, outing Kane as the sociopath he is, and helping all those kids find their lost dogs. 

Okay, she only mentioned the first two, but I think the third has value. 

The point is! these hangers-on need to find their own territory.  

Date: March 6 Mac traced at least 70 arrests to Smirky in the Los Angeles area alone. I hate him.

Date: March 10 If he scoops another one of my cases…

Date: March 11 He calls me Supergirl. 

He calls me Supergirl and I want to punch him. 

Mac says Cockroach’s tracker is still active but the signal is being blocked.

Date: March 13 Saw Meg today. She took down her own parents. Fucking savage. God, I love her. She flew me up to American Plaza and we drank champagne to celebrate.  

Oh! And good news! She says my backup uni isn’t see through. 

Date: March 13 Woke up with this terrifying thought: can smirky see through my uni? 

He wouldn’t...right? I mean...he’s an asshole but I don’t think he’s a creep. 

Date: March 16 I punched him. 

Not for the underwear thing! He swears he’s never looked and I weirdly believe him. 

And I didn’t punch him as much as he walked into a pulse. Yes, fine. 

I maybe purposefully put up the pulse to see if his x-ray vision could detect it. But I didn’t tell him to walk into it. 

(He can’t detect it, btw. I did it a second time just to be sure.)

Date: March 18 Found Cockroach. Or, I guess I should say Koontz. He washed up on Dog Beach as his alter. 

Mac said it could be a coincidence but we both know that’s not true. 

Date: March 19 Did I do this? Did I get Cockroach killed? 

Date: March 19 Logan has very good alcohol. 

Date: March 20 Hangovers. Bad. 

Date: March 20 Logan makes very good pancakes. 

Date: March 21 Logan has seen me drunk, which means Logan must be destroyed. 

Date: March 22 In a certain light, the smirk isn’t so bad. 

Date: March 23 Oh god. 

Date: March 24 Oh god.

Do I like him?

Date: March 25 I hate myself. I’m a giant cliché. I apologize to all women supers everywhere. 

Logan swears he can’t see past the new enhancements Mac made to my uni.

He also asked me to dinner. Was tempted to 1) fade, and 2) run away, but I did neither. 

Date: March 26 Adding insult to injury, Smirky McCowboy really knows how to kiss.

Date: March 27 Mac says I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. 

Actually, what she said was that neither he nor I are all that pleasant to be around so we might be meant for each other. 

Date: March 28 He really knows how to do some other things, too. 

Date: March 29 Logan got me a present: surveillance footage of Kane’s mysterious second-in-command with Koontz the night before he was found.

He’s been upgraded to not the absolute worst. 

Date: March 29 To be perfectly clear: we are not a super team. 

Date: March 30 Logan and I are on surveillance detail tonight. 

Maybe I can convince him to stop for some chocolate mousse. 

[fablesrose]

Tell Me a Story 2

Description: With the first interaction with Chuck almost over and done with, Dean and Y/n have to figure out how the heck this is going to work. Some mafia business goes awry, but when has anything gone to plan?

Word count: 4,581 (guys this is over twice as long as the first part, this is ridiculous)

Pairing: cop!Dean x mafia!reader

Square filled: Moodboard

Warnings: knives, pain, a little blood

Masterlist ~ Bingo Masterlist

A/n: Part two also goes with @girl-next-door-writes​ Bingo challenge! Btw this whole fic is based on me wanting to write the first part of this chapter so there's that too.

“I don’t know sir, I’m not much of a story teller.”

“Come on Dean.”

“Tell me a story.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Well I’ll do my best.” Dean glanced at me, trying to decide how this would go. “If I remember right sweetheart, you called me?”

“Yeah!” I wracked my brain as quick as I could, “It was a wrong number call. I think I was trying to order take out.” Oh my gosh that was so stupid.

“But with me in a new city, a new job, I wanted to talk for a bit,” Dean squeezed my hand, “we decided to keep in touch and the rest is history!”

Chuck just looked at us for a bit, an unamused look on his face, “You’re right, you aren’t much of a story teller.”

Dean’s finger twitched against my hand, and I had to admit, that in this moment it was comforting. At least I was going to die next to a pretty nice dude.

“But whatever. You guys go claim some territory or something.”

Chuck seemed so complacent that it made a spark of anger ignite inside of me.

“Chuck, we’re not some teenage boy gang that spray paints wall-”

He had advanced towards me and had his hand roughly grabbing the base of my jaw, a few of his fingers pressing into my neck. He was just enough taller than me to wretch my face up painfully. I let out a grunt, but otherwise shut up.

“You are whatever I damn well tell you you are, Starling. Now go claim some territory.” He roughly shoved my face to let go. He quickly fixed his sleeves and patted Dean on the arm, “Sorry for touching the merchandise. You kids have fun now.” He turned on his heel and walked out of the building without a second thought.

There was a moment were nobody moved from the room. In the last few minutes it made it easy to forget that there were more than just Dean and I there. I wasn’t the highest ranking person in the room, but the list got messy sometimes.

“Alright, you heard the man,” I sighed. But still nobody moved, “I said let’s go!”

The members surrounding me rushed from their stationary positions to exit the building. I moved to follow but the tug on my arm reminded me that I was still holding Dean’s hand. I couldn’t decipher the look he had on his face, but it wasn’t a good one.

I gave him a soft nod with a squeeze of the hand before letting go and following the group. I heard his heavy footsteps behind me, but he made no effort in catching up to walk by my side.

“What a guy you got.”

I huffed, “Hello to you too Meg.”

“He’s hot. Ask if he’s got any hot friends he can hook me up with alright? Or you can just let me have him.” She nudged me a little in jest.

“Any other requests, Cockroach?”

She shoved me a bit harder, “Just don’t get in the way of my spray paint.”

I laughed as she ran up to the front of the pack, wanting to pick the spot to throw some paint.

I stuffed my hands in my pockets, slouching a bit as I followed the pack, wanting to be in my own thoughts.

A hand wrapping around my shoulders caused me to stiffen and straightened my back. I glanced to my side to find that Dean was the one walking next to me now. I wasn’t sure what he was doing, maybe trying to keep up the front that Chuck gave us. I relaxed a little bit, loosened my jaw, but my posture remained straight.

“You expect someone else?” Dean kept his eyes facing forward, not even glancing in my direction.

I mimicked his expression, “The boys tend to try and get handsy.”

He hummed and patted my shoulder, “So that didn’t go to plan.”

I turned to look at him and waited until he looked at me. I shook my head softly as if to say, “Not now, not here.”

He nodded, just as softly, as if to tell me that he understood.

We walked silently down the streets, just far enough behind the group to be separate, but close enough to see where they were going. I know I said we weren’t a teenage boy gang, but sometimes I did wonder. By their behavior alone, you would think they were some stupid seventeen year olds, roughing each other up, looking for trouble. Fortunately to some, they were intimidating enough from experience for people to not try and mess with them.

By the time Dean and I caught up, Meg had already gotten the spray paint out. She would never admit it to anyone out loud, but she enjoyed this. And she was good at it too. She ordered some of the boys around, some to help her with the graffiti, others to keep watch and to keep people away.

I took a second to think, I was lousy at painting (not that I didn’t try), and I figured this was as good a time as any to talk to Dean. Now the question was how to get alone.

The answer was I had to swallow my pride.

I turned my body towards Dean, one hand at the small of his back, the other gripping the front of his shirt, “Hey guys...” That got their attention. “You’ve got this covered, right?” I bit my lip a little, trying to sell it.

“If you don’t get out of here with him right now, I will shoot you myself,” Benny was leaning against a wall with a bemused smile on his face.

I shot him a wink and grabbed Dean’s hand to pull him away, “Duly noted Gaterson.”

“You sure do know how to pick ‘em lover boy!”

Dean let out a single laugh in response as I dragged him a block away into a secluded ally way.

We walked into a shadowy area to get as much seclusion as possible. I let go of his hand and leaned against the wall. I rubbed the heels of my hands into my eyes which pushed my head against the bricks behind me.

“Starling?”

I sighed, “Please don’t call me that.”

“Sorry, I just meant what does it mean, why do you have it?”

I lowered my hands to see him leaning on the wall across from me, “Maybe some other time. All you need to know is everyone has nicknames around here.”

He crossed his arms, “So is lover boy my nickname now?”

I huffed out a laugh, “Nah, they’ll call you all sorts of things until something sticks.”

There was a pause. We both knew we were dancing around the real subject I pulled us away for, but I wasn’t sure I knew what to do with it.

“So that didn’t go to plan.” Dean was braver than I was.

“Yeah no shit.” I banged my head against the bricks hard enough to make a sound and tried to dig into the cement with my shoe out of frustration. “To look on the bright side—which I loathe doing by the way—we’re not dead...So there’s that.”

“There is that… Got any suggestions?”

“Why is it that you’re supposed to be the professional and I’m making all the decisions?”

“I don’t know, with your performance and cool composure, I’d say that you’re the professional in this situation.”

I sighed and closed my eyes, “The only thing I can think to do is play along. If it gets too much we can fake a breakup...” This was getting so complicated.

“Fake a breakup? As far as I’m concerned, we’re not actually dating.” I could nearly hear the smirk on his face.

“Really Dean? Really?” He chuckled in response. “Since Chuck already knows that you’re a cop I think the best thing to do is for you to go to work. Be a police officer that’s on the payroll, but be a little more involved.”

“Whatever you say sweetheart.”

I heard voices approaching the ally way that sounded familiar. Then there was a harsh shh to quiet them down.

“Shit,” I looked at Dean, grabbed his jacket and pulled him closer, “You’re gonna have to kiss me.”

I stared at me dumbfoundedly, “What?”

“Look, they think we came over here to make out, if we don’t at least look like we’re making out they’re gonna be suspicious.”

He still looked shocked.

“Shit.” I didn’t want to kiss him on the spot either, so I did the next best thing to make it look like we were making out. I grabbed him by the back of the neck and pulled his face down next to my neck slightly angling his body to cover me. The sudden motion caused him to catch himself with his hands against the wall on either side of me.

He wasn’t touching me, but I could feel his startled breathing against my neck. I ran my hand along the back of his neck and through his hair. It was extremely soft. I started making little noises and muttering Dean’s name. To sell the act, naturally.

Dean, once he recovered from his freezing shock started to brush the tip of his nose against my skin which startled me.

I heard a whistle from the end of the ally, “Yeah Ms. Starling! Get some!” The group rounded the corner to see us there. I flipped them off, making them laugh.

I gently tugged at the back of his collar to say it was okay to part now. As he straightened himself I caught his face and left a soft kiss on his cheek.

The group had started to disperse and go their separate ways since we were done putting on a show because they “caught” us.

Dean and I walked side by side out of the ally, by the time we got to the entrance our previous companions had all gone their separate ways.

“Sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” I started to walk the way we came, back towards the wall Meg was working on.

“No, uh, that was smart of you,” he jogged to catch up with me and shoved his hands into his pockets.

The walk was silent around the block.

Eventually we arrived to see what Meg had done. She had out done herself once again. The wall was covered with a silhouette of an angel. It’s wings were burning as the figure fell. It was intricate as only Meg could be. There were a few lone charred feathers across the wall as well. In the bottom corner an F was painted as if it had fallen over.

“It’s beautiful. How’d she get if done so fast?” Dean stared at the wall in awe.

I nodded, agreeing with him, “I’m pretty sure she made a demon deal, but I don’t know.” I pointed at the painting, “This is just street art, but this,” I pointed at the F, “makes it Fallen territory. Watch for it.” I patted the wall where there wasn’t any paint, “Alright, I’ll call you if something comes up you need to be at. Any questions?”

“Nope, I guess I’ll see you around Miss Y/n.”

I side-eyed him with a smirk before I started to walk towards my apartment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Something like a week passed. It was relatively quiet, me minding my own business. I thought it was almost too quiet when I got a call from Meg.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Letterboys are causing some trouble on 5th Avenue. You wanna bring your boy toy to help sort this out?”

I hummed, “I was just thinking that it was getting boring around here. I’ll give him a call and head over.”

“See you, Starling.”

“Uh huh.” I hung up on her and dialed up Dean. I was redirected to his voicemail.

“This is Dean, you know what to do.”

“Hey, we’ve got a territory dispute over on 5th Ave, if you’ve got time you can stop by.”

I left it at that and headed out to show some mafia wannabes that territories aren’t to be messed with. It didn’t take long to see Meg standing off against a guy, maybe twenty-three years old.

“Everyone paired off already?”

“Yeah, I think there’s a straggler that headed west though, you wanna pick him up?”

I slapped her shoulder, “Yeah, I got it.”

I heard her start to make small talk with her challenger, he didn’t stand a chance, “So, how’s the other side of town?”

I chuckled as I started heading West, checking all the nooks and crannies. I eventually came up on a kid walking down an ally, his hood was up, head down.

“Hey kid, you lookin’ for something?”

He looked up at me, “Just heading home ma’am.”

I nodded, “Alright, just, have you happened to see anyone running around with a pointy triangle-ish mark on their wrist?”

He didn’t respond, he just pulled out a switchblade. How cute.

“Look kid, you look too young for this, and I’m too old for this, so why don’t you head back where you came from.” As I spoke I pulled out my own, slightly larger, switchblade.

It seemed like he didn’t want to talk anymore because he started to charge at me.

I smiled, “Alright, have it your way.”

I dodged him at first, but then I started to cut him just enough to sting. That seemed to make him angry to the point where he caught me a couple times too. I started cutting a little bit deeper, hoping he would give up.

“Okay, you’re obviously out of your league, why don’t you go home?”

He made a jab at me, to which I grabbed his wrist to stop him. What I didn’t expect was for him to toss the blade into his other hand and slice a fairly deep cut into my side.

“Dammit!” I shoved him away onto the ground and pulled out my gun from the back of my waistband. I pointed it at him and stepped on the hand with the switchblade, “That’s enough of that.”

He spit some blood onto the cement from the split lip I gave him at some point, “Cheater!”

“Hey, you’re the idiot that brought a knife to a gun fight.”

A single bleep from a siren sounded off behind me. I turned my head to see an unmarked police vehicle  on the street.

“Ah, Detective Castiel, nice to see you!” I kept the gun pointed at the kid on the ground. He may not have been the smartest, but he was smart enough to not move.

“Y/n, if you shoot that kid I’m going to have to arrest you.” He didn’t sound amused as he walked around the car.

“I’m only going to shoot him if he tries to stab me again,” I stared at the kid pointedly, “got it?”

He nodded sadly.

I looked back at Cas, “You know, this kid was looking to cause some trouble, so really I’m doing your job for you.”

“Sure.”

“Is that a new trench coat? It looks nice.”

“It is, thank you. Are you going to let him go now?”

“I don’t know,” I looked back at the kid, “are you going to go home and not cause any trouble if I let you go?”

He nodded again.

I stopped pointing my gun at him and stepped off of his hand. He scrambled up and ran back the way he came.

I put my gun back into the back of my waistband, “Kids these days.” I popped my hip as I turned to fully face Cas for the first time tonight, “Chuck still wants you on the payroll, by the way.”

“And you already know what my answer is, Y/n,” he leaned back against the car behind him.

I sighed, “Yeah I do. You’re a good man and a good cop, Cas.”

He smiled, a rare occurrence, but I didn’t mention it. “You’re a good person too, Y/n.”

I laugh halfheartedly, “If you say so… If you say so.” I crossed my arms and felt the wet stickiness from my side, reminding me of my injury. “Anyway, Meg should be about a block east of here if you want to go say hi.”

He rolled his eyes, “Yeah I should see if you guys are causing any other trouble.”

I turned on my heel to head home and clean myself up, “Love you too Cas!”

I heard the car start and drive off behind me. I finally looked down at the cut to see how bad it was. I was wearing a black shirt, so the blood didn’t show, making it difficult to see just how bad it was. From what I could tell, it was a few inches across. I couldn’t tell just how deep it was, but the cut was positioned over my ribs, so it didn’t damage anything important. Luckily the kid’s knife was sharp, so it would heal faster as it didn’t tear the skin, unfortunately the kid’s knife was sharp, so it went deeper.

I pressed one hand against the wound while I walked back to my apartment. On the way my phone buzzed from a text.

Dean: Hey, sorry, I was called out. Did you still need some help over on 5th?

Me: No, it’s taken care of. I’m heading home now.

Dean: Okay.

I put my phone away and continued home. Eventually I was able to unlock my apartment, careful not to get blood anywhere. I headed straight to the bathroom, stripping off my shirt and tossing my phone on my table on the way. I held it to the cut while I dug around for the first aid kit and once I found it I tossed the soaked shirt into the sink.

I turned the water on, getting a washcloth wet. I started cleaning around the cut to get a better look at it, having to rinse out the washcloth a couple of times to prevent just smearing blood around.

It was still bleeding, but the pressure I put on it caused it to slow down. Once I got a good look at it I could tell it wasn’t going to cause too many problems other than taking a while to heal and being sore.

A knock came to the door. I was obviously not prepared for visitors, so I left it be. It was probably one of the neighbors, they liked to check in every once in a while. I hoped they would just move on. They knocked one more time before my phone rang in the other room. I really should have just turned it off.

Finally the phone stopped ringing, but not a moment later I heard the creek of my front door opening. I reached for my gun the was still in my pants.

“Y/n? It’s Dean, I’m coming in okay? Your door is open.”

I sighed in relief and placed my gun on the counter, “Okay.”

I heard some rustling of what I assumed was him taking his coat off and the click of the lock sliding into place.

I pulled out some cotton pads and soaked one in rubbing alcohol. I just looked at it for a second, not wanting to clean the wound, but knowing I had to. I closed my eyes and took a couple of deep breaths, preparing myself for the sting.

“I thought you said everything was taken care of.” I looked up to see Dean in the doorway. He had a hard look on his face.

“No, I said the problem was taken care of.” I relaxed against the back of the toilet, knowing that I had a second before I was going to clean my side.

He walked in and took the saturated cotton pad from my hand, “That looks like a problem to me.”

I tensed up in preparation for him to clean it once he started to approach me, “Something like that.”

He hesitated, “You want something to numb it?”

I let go of the breath I was holding, “Yeah, uh, whiskey’s in the kitchen.”

He stood up to go get it, leaving the cotton pad on the counter. He came back with the glass bottle and handed it to me. I took a couple of swigs before placing it on the counter next to the rest of the first aid supplies. I felt myself relax a little bit. I heard a clatter as I knocked something to the floor in the process though. I bent to pick it up, my body protesting a little bit, but I picked it up all the same.

“What’s that? On your back?”

I instantly knew he was talking about the black tattoo that was at the base of my neck, in a spot that my shirt would cover.

I turned so he could see them better, “They’re wings.”

He traced them for a moment before I turned back around, “You wanna get started on this please?”

He grabbed the cotton, “Yeah, of course. They’re beautiful.”

I hissed in response as he started to brush the alcohol along the wound. I clenched my jaw so hard it started to ache, I whimpered before biting down on my fist.

Dean paused and pulled on my hand, taking it from my mouth, “Hey, hey, focus on me. Why don’t you tell me a story, huh? Focus on something else.”

I was breathing heavily, “Like what.”

“What does Starling mean? Why’d you get that tattoo?”

“And why would you want to know that?”

He squeezed my hand, “Because you’re supposed to be my girlfriend, and I think I would know these things.” He smirked because he knew he backed me into a corner.

I groaned as he touched my side again, “Fine.” I took a deep breath, “As you already know everyone needs a nickname. I was called a lot of different things, some more… savory, appropriate than others. I don’t know why, but I always seemed to be favored by Nick, by Crowley. I got my name under Nick, but that doesn’t matter.”

I gasped as Dean pressed particularly deep to which he apologized.

“I was being bossy one day. Nobody was listening, I had just got back from an infiltration job. Someone, they’re not around anymore, they called me a stupid Starling, and it stuck.  Starlings in North America are considered an invasive species, terribly annoying, and unwanted.” Dean gave me a break to get a new cotton pad to finish up, “Tattoo means the same once something is solidified, you get a tattoo representing your name and a Fallen symbol.” I pulled my ear forward and showed Dean the fallen F tattooed behind it, just like the one next to the angel Meg painted.

“Well, I think they look like angel wings.” Dean came back and started cleaning the last little corner and around the edge.

“Really? Black angel wings?” I tried not to flinch as he caught the edge a little roughly.

“Yeah, I do, Angel.” He threw away the cotton with a small smile on his face.

I laughed, “Okay, yeah, sure.”

Dean looked at the wound closely, “I think I’m gonna have to stitch it up, just so it’ll heal faster.”

“You know how to do that?” I gestured to the first aid kit, knowing that stitching supplies were there, I had to do some myself every once in a while.

“I’m decent.” He started sterilizing the needle with a lighter he had in his pocket before cooling it off with the rubbing alcohol. “So how’d you get this in the first place?”

The stitching process was still painful, but not as bad as the cleaning. “Letterboys were roaming our side of town, looking for trouble.”

“Letterboys?”

I snorted, “They call themselves Lettermen, don’t ask me why, I have no idea. Really, they’re gang wannabes, so we call them Letterboys.”

Dean tugged at the needle to tighten a stitch, “Uh, huh. And if they’re so pathetic why’d you get this thing?”

I huffed out a laugh, “This idiot brought a knife to a gun fight and I played along for a little too long.”

“Ah, makes total sense.”

“So, how was work in a new city?” I wiped around my eyes to make sure I didn’t have any tears showing.

“Uh, it was alright,” he tied off the last stitch, “transfer information is still being worked out, but they’re thinking about pairing me up with this Detective Castiel or whatever.”

I smiled, “That’ll be good. Cas is a good guy. I actually saw him tonight.”

“Was that before or after you got injured?”

“After.”

Dean looked at me skeptically, “If he’s such a good guy, why didn’t he take you to the doctor or something? Is he in with Chuck?”

“Nah, it was dark, I was wearing that black shirt, I didn’t let him notice. And no, he’s the farthest person from Chuck you could get. He’s tried to take Chuck down a couple of times actually, gotten close too. That’s why Chuck desperately wants him to join, but Cas has the same answer every time, not in his right mind would he ever join.”

“So he’s trustworthy,” Dean nodded, satisfied.

“To an extent, yes.” I examined his handiwork, I was impressed. “You can’t tell him you’re into this though, not that you’re undercover, not that you know me. He’s already too deep into this and if he changes his behavior, thinking there’s a chance he can help you take Chuck down? Chuck will get suspicious and everything will fall apart, okay?”

“Understood.”

I stood up, testing the stitches, “Good.” I started cleaning up the counter and putting stuff away when Dean stopped me and started cleaning up himself. “Thanks,” I headed towards my bedroom and grabbed a new shirt to throw on. I groaned involuntarily when my stitches stretched as I pulled it over my head.

“You okay in there?” Dean asked from the bathroom.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I changed into some sweatpants while I was there.

“Do you wanna keep this or...” He trailed off as I walked out in a shirt that looked very similar to the one in the sink.

“Nah, I’ll just toss it,” I pulled at the hem of my shirt, “these are pretty cheap.” I wrung out the shirt as best I could and walked into the kitchen to throw it away, “The bathroom was just in the opposite direction of my gross trash.” I washed my hands, “Thank you, can I get you anything?”

“Another fake make-out session?”

I snorted, “And why would you ever want that?”

“Because it was hot.” Dean had a teasing smirk on his face as he followed my example. “But for real, do you have a beer Angel?”

I reached into the fridge to grab us some, “You’re serious about calling me that?”

He popped it open easily, “Yeah, I think it’s cute.”

I shook my head and walked to my couch with a beer in hand and curled up into the side, “So.” I gestured for Dean to join me, “What was so important that you knocked on my door twice, called me, and then walked into my apartment anyway?”

He groaned in embarrassment, “Well, it’s not important anymore…”

I laughed, “Oh come on Dean, tell me a story.”

Best Buds: @kitkatd7​ @snarky--starky​ @confetti-its-an-imagine-blog @kaogasm ​

Dean: @akshi8278​ @msmarvelouswinchester

[sweet-sammy-kisses]

Hard Truths

Fandom: Supernatural Pairings: Dean/Sam, one-sided Destiel on Cass’ side.  Summary: Castiel's love confession to Dean doesn't go the way he hoped it would as Dean lays some hard truths on him. Warnings: Overprotective!Dean of Sam, not nice to Castiel at all, during the “love confession” scene  Notes: I'm not going to lie this fic came to me because of the hatred the hellers are spreading towards Jared. The fact that they are using what is happening in Texas as another way to attack him gave me the idea to write this and I am not sorry at all. Also on AO3

"It is because of you that I learned to love Sam and Jack."

Dean had been in a daze since Castiel had started his love confession but that line had pulled himself out of it, "Whoa, hold on a moment. Are you telling me that Jack, the boy you claim to love like a son you would have never cared about it if wasn't for me? And Sammy, my Sammy you would have never cared about him." Dean took a dangerous step forward.

Everyone stopped Billie and the Empty that was consuming Castiel as if they sensed the change in the air around Dean.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean snarled out. "Is this why you left Sam's soul in the cage to be tortured by fucking Lucifer! Is this why you broke the wall Death put in his head to keep that torture from destroying him! Is this why you let Lucifer out of the cage and made Sam live in the place that is his home, where he should have been safe in! Is this why you didn't want me to go after Sam when he was taken in the vampire cage? Because your jealous that Sam is the love of my life and my soulmate."

Dean took another dangerous step forward, "Sam, the one and only one that I would burn the world down for? Did you think Sam was out of the way that I would magically fall in love with you and forget all about him?"

Castiel could only stare at Dean.

"Answer me!" Dean roared reminding everyone that in the room he is the most dangerous.

"I...I..." Castiel couldn't find the words.

A dark chuckle escaped Dean's lips, "I think we need to clear up something here. The only reason you stayed after you betrayed and hurt us so many times is Sam cares about you and thinks of you like family." Something dark that always appeared when Sam was in danger uncoiled in Dean's chest. "Now me I kept you around as cannon folder."

The heartbreaking look on Castiel's face filled Dean with joy after how many times this angel had harmed his Sam it was time to let him know how he felt about him. "

"See when we first met you, you were a pain but I grew to care about you like family then I found out you left Sam's soul behind deliberately and I grew distrustful of you when you broke Sam's wall I was ready to leave you to rot in that physic ward both times it was Sam pleading with me to give you another chance. Then it came to me I have an angel that has made so many enemies that I can trade if need to ensure that Sam is safe. But like a cockroach, you kept coming back."

The look on Dean's face reminded Castiel of the time he was a Knight of Hell. Oh, they might have claimed he was a demon but he had been heading down the road to becoming the first Knight of Hell in centuries.

"But now I can finally be rid of you and sleep soundly with Sam in my arms after I fuck him through our mattress knowing that I am finally free of you." Dean waved his hand at the Empty, "Take him and say hi to Meg for me," Dean grinned as Castiel flinched at the reminder of the demon he had loved and who loved him and died for him. "You can take them now."

The Empty filled with glee at seeing and feeling the pain Castiel was going through began once engulfing the angel that had woken them up.

The last thing Castiel heard before nothingness was Dean's cheerful, "I'll be sure to tell Sam that you died saving him and Jack. I'll make sure they never know how you felt about them."

[silkylious]

16 & 18 for the ask game!

also merry christmas / happy holidays if u celebrate anything :) <3

not celebrating but merry christmas / happy holidays if you are meg <33

16. favorite movie

IDK DUDE im so indecisive 😭😭 probably The Room (the one with tommy wiseau) it's so unfathomably bad that it's fucking fantastic. literally one of my favorite past times is just watching that movie with my bsf and shitting on every single frame 💀

18. phobia

cockroaches. insects in general but especially cockroaches

send me some asks!

[sidecarghost]

Suptober20 - Day 21 Fear Part 1

HighSchool!AU with a little bit of Soulmate trope - this AU has a phone app that can tell you the fears of your soulmate

Part 1/2 (part 2 is an epilogue that kind of changed the feel of the story enough that I decided to split into separate post)

Summary: Dean wants to get Castiel on a date and asks his best friend Charlie for help. Charlie tries to convince Dean just to talk to Castiel, but Dean is sure that Castiel doesn't even know he exists.

“Please Charlie, have some pity on me,” Dean laments tragically. He sits at the lunch table across from his best friend Charlie. He attempts his best puppy eyes to help his cause.

“Just talk to Castiel or I can talk to him. Your plan to rig his soulmate app results is so bizarre. I really can’t believe it has any chance at working,” Charlie counters.

“You just need to have faith, and I’m sure you can do it Charlie. Please don’t abandon me in my hour of need,” Dean begs his friend.

“Okay, okay enough with the guilt trip. You owe me after this Dean. But I’m not hacking Cas’s phone. We share a CompSci class. I’ll just ask him to beta test a soulmate clone app that will be loaded with a few random things you can try to be scared of,” Charlie explains.

“Thanks Charlie, you’re my hero,” Dean smiles enthusiastically.

“I’ll work on the app later, and text you after school,” Charlie tells Dean as she picks up her lunch tray and leaves the cafeteria. Dean floats to his next class with complete optimism that this plan will work.

~~ Later on, Charlie texts Dean ~~

Charlie: How is this for the list of your fears for the soulmate clone app?

Clowns

Cockroaches

Opening up to people

Germs

Demonic Possession

Cat jumping out of locker

Dean: Really “opening up to people?”

Charlie: Yeah, you can walk up to Castiel and tell him that you like him, and you were scared to tell him before. And then we can skip the rest of this bizarre plan.

Dean: Not happening.

Charlie: Okay, then back to our overly-complicated and sure-to-fail plan. How about this list?

Clowns

Cockroaches

Public speaking

Germs

Demonic Possession

Cat jumping out of locker

Dean: Okay this will work, and I have some awesome ideas how to pull them off. Cas is in a few of my classes, so I just need to do some prep and everything will run as smooth as a drive in the Impala.

Charlie: So what are you thinking?

Dean: my awesome plan:

When I see Cas at bus drop off area, Garth can help scare me with a clown mask

During our HomeEc class I'll put a cockroach in my pie batter to scare me

Presenting our projects in civics, I can do a mini panic attack or something

During gym maybe I can get someone to sneeze on me and then overreact

I have a charm from my Uncle Bobby that he said would ward off evil spirits according to lore. But since monsters aren't real I'm not sure how that one will work.

Who has cats at school? I don't think this one will work, can you take it off the list?

Charlie: Ok, so 4 is probably enough, but ig wear your evil charm just in case. And you have totally grossed me out with #2.

Dean: hey, the things we do for love right? I do feel bad for the pie batter tho.

***

Charlie makes her soulmate clone app, and she asks Castiel if he wouldn’t mind beta testing it during their Computer Science class. Castiel looks at Charlie with a fair amount of skepticism, but Charlie is his friend so he decides to indulge her request and installs the app. Charlie tells him a story about how she hit the original app with some machine learning algorithms to feed her clone app. So her soulmate app should be just as reliable as the original. Castiel figures they can just test that theory by opening the original app and seeing if the fears listed in both the original app and Charlie’s app match. Charlie sighs, and says that is very sensible, but she thinks her algorithms may have actually found flaws in the original app, so the results could be different because hers are more accurate.

"Really you think your app could be more accurate Charlie?” Castiel asks with a heavy amount of skepticism. “As in, there is actually a chance that a random generator on some server, is in fact not random but knows who we are destined to be in love with. I don't think soulmates are even something I believe in, do you believe in them?"

"Well, I never used too," Charlie replies thoughtfully. "But I have a friend, and he has been pretty unlucky in love. Maybe some people just keep striking out, because they really were meant to be with one particular soul. And until they finally end up with that person, they just have a lot of heartbreaks and casual flings. Seeing my friend struggle, is enough to make me think that sometimes, cupid can be a soulmate app. Or maybe I'm cupid in this metaphor and the soulmate app is my arrow, I'm not sure. But anyway, I guess what I mean is, romance doesn't only have to exist in romcoms. Sometimes we can let go of our fears, and believe in some greater force like destiny or soulmates or a very efficient machine learning algorithm will find us something we never knew we were missing, like the love of our lives."

"It sounds like your friend is lucky to have you," Castiel says.

"Yeah, he totally is," Charlie smirks.

"So what can I do with your soulmate app to help you and your friend's cause?" Castiel asks.

"Just look over my soulmate app results to see the kind of things that it lists as your soulmate’s fears, and I guess let me know at the end of the week if you found your soulmate, potential soulmate, or at least someone worth a date or two," Charlie says sheepishly.

Castiel checks the clone app results and laughs, "Okay, Charlie I'll keep you posted."

~~

Charlie: Castiel has the app. Good luck! Dean: Awesome! Tyyyy!

~~

Dean is not having good luck with these fears, and is beginning to think Charlie may have been right calling this plan too bizarre or complicated to succeed.

The first failure was the clown. Everything was going smoothly. Castiel was walking by him after leaving the bus drop off, and Garth jumped out with perfect timing wearing his creepy clown mask. But before Dean could say a word, Sam started screaming like a kid possessed. It was all Dean could do to calm his kid brother down and show him that it was just Garth playing a prank. Sam gave Dean and Garth the ultimate bitchface, and any hopes of that fear establishing his soulmate status with Castiel were gone.

Then there was the crisis with the cockroaches. For some reason, Garth was able to give him a cardboard box of several large cockroaches. And Dean was feeling pretty good about his chances of success, because Sammy wasn't there to scream bloody murder at the bugs. But when he went to get the cardboard box he found it empty. As the emptiness of that box registered in his brain, the shrieks from Meg and Jo's station gave him a good clue where the cockroaches were. Dean shook his head, and he looked over to see Castiel watching Meg and Jo take their rolling pins to squash the bugs. "Crap, now Cas is going to think Meg or Jo is his soulmate." Dean was definitely going to have to sell some panic for the Civics presentation.

But it seemed that fate was mad about Dean trying to rig the soulmate clone app results because the Civics presentation ended as the worst failure so far. Dean and his Civic project partners Anna and Kevin had taken their place at the front of the class. Dean checked out Castiel, who was seated in his desk and watching him and his partners attentively. Dean ran through in his head how he could nervously drop some things and sell the whole paranoia for public speaking. While Dean daydreamed a bit about Castiel's sexed up looking hair, he was snapped back to reality by the sound of vomiting coming from his left. He turned to see Kevin had upchucked all over Anna. Apparently Kevin was actually afraid of talking in front of people and that stress had affected his digestion. And it turned out that Anna was a bit of a germaphobe, because she seemed equal parts afraid of catching a disease and disgusted that her clothes were stained in barf.

Dean was faced to admit defeat, every fear meant to establish him as Castiel's soulmate had slipped through his fingers. And unless a demon suddenly appeared he was out of options.

Gym class was the last class he shared with Castiel. Dean was not going to bother to try to get sneezed on. Seeing Anna covered in upchuck was enough germs for one day. His gym teacher told the class to run laps around the building, and Dean began to run at a steady pace.

"Hello Dean," Castiel had run up alongside Dean and matched his speed so they could chat.

"Oh, hey," Dean turned to see Castiel had a slight smile and that was enough to encourage him to return with his own smile. Maybe Dean should try Charlie's original advice and just talk to Castiel. "How's it going Cas?"

"Pretty good. How's your brother? I think I saw him get upset on the way in to school today," Castiel says.

"Oh, he's okay," Dean grins sheepishly. "He is afraid of clowns, and I kind of had this prank idea with Garth. But since I can be a self-absorbed, older brother I didn't really think through how that would affect Sammy."

"Yeah, it seems like there has been plenty of weird stuff going on at school today between the clowns, cockroaches, and vomit," Castiel says cocking an eyebrow at Dean.

"Tell me about it. Sometimes I just wish I could hit a restart button, and start the day over without all the weird," Dean shakes his head.

"You know Charlie Bradbury right? If it was possible to program a restart button I would talk to her," Castiel replies. "We are in Computer Science together, and I think she knows more about the subject than our teacher."

"Oh yeah, I know Charlie. We have been best friends since kindergarten," Dean tells Castiel. "And I have no doubt that she is smarter than your Computer Science teacher."

"Do you mind me asking what that charm is on your necklace?" Castiel asks.

"Oh, just this thing from my uncle. Supposed to ward off evil things or bad spirits." Dean tells Castiel.

"I guess that would be a good thing to wear if you were afraid of demon possession," Castiel deadpans.

"Uh..." Dean finds himself at a loss for a response. Dean has the sneaking suspicion that Castiel has figured out everything about “beta testing” Charlie’s soulmate app. He considers changing course from circling the school, and instead running flat out the entire way back to his house. Maybe Charlie can get him an assumed identity.

Before Dean has a chance to flee, Castiel continues the conversation. “Do you have a cat in a locker somewhere?" He asks with interest.

"Of course not," Dean tries to hold back a laugh and fails. "Charlie was supposed to take that off the list. So I guess you found me out." Dean glances towards Castiel to get a read on his expression.

"Well, I did tell Charlie I'd give her app a chance," Castiel replies with a soft smile towards Dean. "Would you like to go on a date with me later? Maybe we can find out if we are soulmates or not."

"Yeah, Cas," Dean says with a dazzling smile. "I really would like that."

[ziracona]

please bless me with all of your dbd headcanons even just a crumb would satisfy me,,,,, lmao. Fr tho ur hcs are godly pls give me all of them especially for og 4 and wraif

Thank you!! I’m glad you like my hot takes!

Let’s see, og4.

Jake grows facial hair pretty easy (that part is just canon). Usually he either lets it grow and ignores it till it gets long, or stays cleanshaven, but the in-between stage is physically painful for everyone else at the campfire bc you wake up and see rugged 2day scruffy woodsman stretch and he sees you staring and goes, “What?” Looking thoroughly unimpressed and Meg sheds a tear and Claudette pretends to not be looking and stares at her journal and Dwight gets heart palpitations it’s just bad for the whole group. When he shaves he’s an edgy dumbass and does it with a sharpened hunk of metal he made into a knife for himself and Dwight saw him shaving once and had to go sit down.

Jake has a soft spot for many of the survivors he’s known longer (honestly at this point, he’s pretty attached to the lot of them though), but especially the ones who work really hard at protecting other survivors. Double points if you’re younger than him. He would kill for Claudette, and take a bullet meant for Quentin, but would not convey this to them at all. Jake puts almost zero effort into making sure people knows he likes them. The people he has a soft spot for especially are also not always the ones he prefers to spend time with. While they’re survivors he spends less time with personally, Jake respects Feng Min for being the snarky little gremlin she is, and Tapp’s dedication to his job even here. Weirdly, while the people he likes often aren’t aware of affection, the ones he respects but isn’t as close to usually are aware of the respect. Jake also thinks he doesn’t like having friends and spending time not alone, but he does.

If asked point blank his thoughts on a survivor he likes, he’d probably just shrug or say, “They contribute to the team,” or “She works hard,” or “He’s fine,” because Jake just be like that. He had a hard time getting close to anyone initially because of how he grew up. Jake’s very guarded. He’s used to people manipulating and using each other, which makes keeping anything vulnerable close to his chest just necessary as he sees it. Boy doesn’t trust easy. Or open up. Ya need a can opener. Boy also does not like getting pushed around. Least favorite killers (aside from Nightmare) are probably Doctor and Ghostface, because he cannot stand being forced to do things or used. He’d rather take a chainsaw to the back than have someone lord power over him. He’s also got a looong memory, so if you fuck him over, he is not the kind to forget and forgive. He is the kind to resent and remember. Not that he never forgives people, but boy would have to really believe whatever happened was regretted and the person wasn’t like that anymore to let something that made him very angry go. He’s quiet angry though. Bide your time and get vengeance kinda angry. Would never let someone push him around. If a killer tried to fuck with him, he’d do everything in his power to kill them.

While Jake is tough and likes to hike just to be out and moving, and enjoys toughing it out, Meg enjoys being outside more as a fun thing than a wildnerness lifestyle thing. She has a lot of energy, and even in the realm, all that adhd can be a bitch. It would be easy to focus on the shitty stuff happening and drown in that, so she likes to keep moving, like she has since she was a kid and started running. Meg loves hard, and if she cares about you, she’ll make sure you know it. Not good at shutting up or realizing if she’s been going on for too long, girl has passion for everything.

Meg talks a big game, but does not have as much confidence as she pretends to have. She has abandonment issues, but they’re less, ‘my dad abandoned me’ and more ‘everyone but my mom, from him to grade school friends, hasn’t stuck around,’ so she does worry about that and coming on too strong, which she is aware she often does, but she can’t get herself to turn down the power settings on herself even when she tries. She’s never been good at making friends, so all of this in the realm is kinda new to her, since no one can leave. Meg would tell almost no one those things about herself. She cares hard though, and will try to distract other people from realm despair any way she can, because it’s what she needs and she assumes what they must need too. And to be fair, she ain’t wrong. Good at cultivating activities and drinks loving her friends juice.

Big goofball. BIG goofball. Also big gay. Well, bi af, but w a pretty strong preference for the ladies. She is simple of heart. Sees a girl, loses ability to think. Bonded with Nea over this problem. High int, low wisdom, big dumbass. Her weaknesses include girls’ eyes, voices, accents, freckles, scars, stomachs, legs, ass, titties, hair, hair dye, laughs, hands, eye contact, and cute accessories. Not great at expressing her feelings when she catches them, but tries hard. Actually pretty good at romancing once she gets into the groove. It’s just getting there she sucks at. Loyal as hell. Will go to bat for her friends and would rather die than betray them.

Meg has a real temper, especially when she feels like something being done to her or someone else is unjust/unfair, and will always try to fix those things even when it’s hopeless. Can and will weaponize her anger extremely effectively. Ridiculous memory for pop culture, shit memory for homework and things she was supposed to be doing. Memelord, but with some class.

Idk if this is because I identified with Claudette really strongly when I first started playing dbd or not, but I have always seen her as Asexual & Panromantic. Attracted to kindness. 

She gets overwhelmed fairly easily, but has been improving that by necessity since arriving in the realm, and can tap into the mom-friend override to fix problems for people who aren’t her. Has a hard time telling when people are teasing her/joking, but everyone knows this so they take it easier on her than each other.

Like Meg, had no friends before this, so it’s exciting and new, and a little scary, but mostly really good. She worries about other people a lot, and doesn’t always know how to help, but she tries. Very relieved Dwight volunteered to be team leader.

Enjoys recording things and studying. Would be fascinated by the Entity’s world if she wasn’t always being killed. Seems small and weak and easy to take down, but she has the strength of will to kill God herself if backed into a corner, especially when fighting for someone she loves. Sweet does not mean she will not fight back, and since being in the realm, and getting over her initial freezing up at the sight of horrifying murderers, she has worked extremely hard to be brave and take an active roll protecting people whenever she can. She is still terrified a lot, but has learned to push through that to help her friends and herself.

Loves animals, including ones a lot of people don’t like (bugs, snakes, rats, etc) and would and has definitely tried to snag a scorpion and a cockroach from trials to study before, and tried to befriend the realm rats now that they exist. Tries to get Jake to show her how to get birds to like you but does know how to ask him right.

Nervous about interpersonal relationships and unsure of herself. Really likes everyone but horrible at telling how other people feel. Feels like she always comes off wrong and can’t put words to things well even when she understands them super well. Does her best 24/7. Incredibly smart and talented. Knowledgeable about her passions. Is always thinking 4th dimensionally and has saved the team many a time by pulling off wild bullshit that makes sense kind of just barely but no one else would have thought of.

Dwight was a loser and kind of a douche growing up, kind of selfish and entitled and weak, but is no longer that person after a few years in the realm. He works hard to make good on his promises to look out for everyone, and cares about them very genuinely. Great at thinking on his feet and sounding like he knows more than he does, wonderful at regulating tasks to people efficiently, and not a bad strategist. 

Being the kind of person now who would not have liked the person he was a few years ago causes a little cognitive dissonance and self-doubt, but he’s trying. Genuinely enjoys hearing about people’s days and interests even when he’s completely lost. 

Not a fan of heights. If the fear of heights was not vastly overpowered by fear of sharp object, he would actively avoid the old ironworks in trials, but alas.

Used to play video games a lot. Thought he was good at them. Was not. Was definitely not.

Self-improvement king. Works hard and is a really decent dude. A very good sport. Used to be an asshole, so now that he’s nice he’s pretty damn forgiving if other people put in the work to improve too (my boy’s no hypocrite). Has mellowed out a lot and is pretty chill and nice but the damn fool will break his own heart by taking things people say the wrong way, or things they mean as a joke literally, if it’s something he thinks is true about himself, and will totally miss context and vocal inflection and just be like, “I know but I’m trying TuT.”

Big gay but in denial and confused

Just at this point really does want people to get to go home and be ok. Loves hearing stories and listening to his friends talk at the campfire because it makes him feel like things might be okay. Get the same result just by being near his friends, especially the other og3 who have been with him forever. If they’re all still there, things have to turn out okay someday. :’ ) Has never really told them that, because he’s supposed to be the leader, and thinks they’d feel less secure if they knew he depends on being able to sleep close to them at night to feel like he’ll be okay himself. Not in a they’d judge me way, but in a I really don’t want to let them down way. He wants them to think he’s got a handle on things even when he really doesn’t.

I was gonna do Philip too but I got this this morning and this post is already ridiculously long TuT, so here you go. Plus one mini Philip one.

Philip feels responsible for the young man he saw his boss kill the day the Entity got him. He knows that he killed scores of people unknowingly for Azarov, and those weigh, but he thinks sometimes late at night that if he could have just saved that one, it might have been enough to make him feel absolved someday for all the other deaths on his head. He remembers his face very well, and how terrified he was, and the moment of confusion and relief, and almost gratefulness when Philip let him go. He thinks over and over that if he’d just talked to him–assumed something was up, and gotten him to be quiet. Seen Azarov in time and stopped him. So many little things, and the young man would have lived. Even if the others were things he was completely blind to, he feels like that one is especially his fault, and that he could have stopped it. That one really haunts him.