#me: 'it's bad to want to hurt or kill someone because of race or religion. blm is important and we need to help where we can'

[anonil88]

Epidode 7 was probably my favorite episode of Under the Bridge. Felt like we finally got to the thick center of this chowder before I start to skim the fat.

The fat: I get the sympathy "look at how these two characters relate and reflect" angle but the writers have shoved so many different dates and non irl instances into the same day it feels like time isn't passing the way it was before. Certain scenes i felt like someone was yelling out "okay and then next." Those and the odd likely time constraint fictional case changes aside i did enjoy a lot about this episode.

The stock; Its hard challenging your sense of justice in our society when you're not used to it and that is possibly easier when real life people are made fictional characters or more increasingly divorced from their real counterparts. It is difficult to rewire a brain that has already been wired via religion or socialization for crime = all good all bad human. But, thank God life is not so simple there's a lot of gray. As we the viewers reach closer and closer to the finale and trial more has been changed from the real reena virk case. Writers made certain changes in the beginning that now when any of the kids on trial say "we didn't know anything about her" it asks the viewer to think back to the first 4 episodes**. Does anyone here really know who Reena is? They know she was murdered, they are finding out how, but what about this girl. She is a vehicle for their ambitions, guilt, and anger but beyond that who really has found out about Reena or hell any of these kids. Cam? Us the audience? Rebecca? Very clearly not Rebecca (character) even though she has so much in common with Reena as well as Warren. But, she can identify herself with the boy because of their mistakes and race. Becca cannot see why Cam doesn't relate to Warren* despite their similarities because she doesn't understand why Cam doesn't sympathize with her.

That quote about Reena being seen as an animal and weaker than Warren sits in my head a little. Based on another tumblr users post this may have actually been said in court not to Rebecca directly, which was a good change for tv imo. But, it made me think of Warren in his drunken angry state went to his "primal human urge" to hurt something weaker or ignore rather than help. As did every other kid who was a bystander that night but they aren't seen as animals in the same way Reena was up until people saw she was in fact dead. Even now in death she is dehumanized and animalized on the internet because of one bad school picture day. A day we all have tried and failed to get the perfect photo. Still, the most animalistic rabid like behavior is coddled because of privilege. One thing the writers have not held back on us how much they personally do not like Kelly Ellard and offer her 0 remorse that she was given as a child. I dont feel bad for character or real life Kelly but I firmly believe she was failed because of her privilege long before she killed Reena Virk.

One thing i loved about this episode is that I felt Rebecca Godfrey (the writer) all over this episode and in Riley's portrayl. Especially when the character says "I will make sure they know your heart." I think that's what she set out to do with her book and by extension allowing this show, she wanted people to know who these humans are at their very human center. Complicit and redeemable? Complicit and capable? And she felt bad about what tragically happened. I hope wherever she is, if she believed in that sort of thing, that she is proud of her story.

* I think and that moment of his verdict in court shows Cam does care about Warren, Rebecca, and extension all of these kids. This is her home, no matter how small these writers have shrunk its vastness. She sees these kids as versions of her, Gabe, and Rebecca but she is a cop and she does have some standard to uphold. Even though her career and who it represents, her dad & brother her family, is starting to show themselves to be harder to stick by. Similar to Josephine and that false sense of family with CMC disintegrating. Will Cam even go ahead to Vancouver for her job by the end of this?

** Which is quite different from the real life accounts where genuinely it seems those kids and the main group imvolved did not know Reena outside from her extreme antics, the lesser teen cruelty one, and her face.

[raspberry-vinaigrette]

cracks open my mountain dew. sighs. hello chat. note that this pulls from personal experience and is not a judgement being passed on all christians -- it's just my personal anecdotal evidence from me and my friends.

my long and weird ass rant on why jack kennedy is a really interesting parallel to trauma resulting from christianity

SO. first and foremost a major facet of jack's character is that he's chained to this duty. this responsibility for something that he ultimately had very little if any control over. yeah in hindsight he could've watched over dee better and came back for her sooner, but hindsight is 20/20, and the promise that jack makes isn't even about dee in specific. it's about every single child hurt by fazbender's! jack is taking on the responsibility of someone else's sins and burdening himself with repenting for all of it. he outright calls it his last chance at redemption when he approaches the arcade machine in his workshop in dsaf3. to him, this is repentence for his misdeeds, but in actuality he had SO little culpability in anything before he died.

this parallels experiences in shitty christian groups quite a bit. effectively you are told that you alone are responsible for the sins of the entire human race and no matter what you do you will always be inherently flawed, but if you give yourself up to a religion and just conform to all these rules to prove yourself and never let yourself stray (lest you have to repent again), then you can be good again. you just have to promise. fittingly, jack is outright told when making the promise that it's gonna suck! it's going to suck so, so bad, and be painful, and he's going to constantly be seen as grotesque, but he still has to keep going. he has to save everyone. and he gets nothing from this besides the comfort he won't be guilty anymore.

and this comes into one of my main points! both religious trauma and jack's existance with the promise come with a sense of guilt basically built into your core. you feel shame for a lot of normal human desires and wants because you're not "supposed" to feel them, and the fact you do is "proof" that you're wicked and evil. this can lead to paranoia and a general sense of dread when it comes to just living your everyday life which i think can be seen in jack's behavior about the promise. he's constantly working towards the promise, and whenever he doesn't have work in some fashion, he literally just sits in bed -- in the marionn-ending when you skip work, jack comments that he plans just to sleep for 16 hours. he doesn't actually do this but he does very little the entire day so it's not unlikely he spent most of the day in bed regardless. plus, well... we know how devoted good ending jack is to fulfilling the promise, and hell -- he even feels responsible for saving people who aren't related to the promise, such as dave, peter, and steven!

there's a couple other major things, too. another thing with those who were really fucked up by the church is that they can sometimes go the complete opposite direction and basically do anything and everything that the church would hate to feel some sense of control. that then loops back into the guilt once the (literal or metaphorical) "high" is over with the need to compensate and rid themself of this sin. this causes a cycle of "do something 'sinful'" -> "feel immense guilt and shame and a need to repent" -> "do something equally self-destructive to compensate" -> spiral and repeat

i think a parallel can be drawn there with jack's actions, in particularly the evil routes. in defiance to the root intention of the promise, whether or not he plans on fulfilling it still, he chooses to kill with dave and shut down fazbender's that way. this is all fun and games and vegas is a great time, but especially near the end of dsaf2, we see jack is heavily haunted by his own actions and how he died and the circumstances of the promise, which eventually leads to him (depending on dialogue) literally asking blackjack to turn back time all to "repent" again. plus, in the 35 year gap between dsaf2 and dsaf3, judging by some various dialogue choices (the main ones coming to mind are during his neutral end rant, during a couple talks with the phoneys at the starts of the restaurant segments, and one where he mentions being shitfaced while working on the springlock suit training tapes), jack has become actively an alcoholic (+ a smoker, somewhat optionally) and living off of frozen dinners. as you can probably tell, he's pretty actively self-destructive, and in the soapy ending v3 he even brushes off an insane reaction to cocaine and inevitably being killed with "i always come back."

he doesn't care what happens to him. maybe, in a way, it feels like repentence. divine justice.

and looping back to the feeling of no control or a need for help making decisions, well... we see how easily jack slips into dave's plans and how he takes to henry's influence. jack is headstrong and stubborn when he wants to be, oftentimes when affirming things that feed into his self-loathing and isolation (i'll touch on that in a bit), but he falters very easily under pressure if he thinks it will bring him some kind of closure and safety and catharsis, be it closing down fazbender's, saving the kids, or something more. it's likely why henry can egg jack into killing dave in dsaf3's legacy route. the promise's guidelines dictate jack's actions just as much as a god might in religion.

last but not least, that self-loathing thing! a lack of self-worth in a big thing in religious trauma, since you're often told your worth is defined by how well you can fall into this mold that is, typically, impossibly and unrealistically perfect. when you fall short, you are told you are the thing that is inherently flawed, not the standard, and so you come to believe there is just something fundamentally wrong with YOU. jack also clearly has a super decreased sense of self-worth and confidence in his own identity for a similar reasoning! his entire sense of being depends on fitting the mold of this promise, and if he fails it or completes it -- whichever comes first -- he loses any reason to live. probably why in the evil endings, he hogs the drugs and alcohol. don't have to remember how little of a purpose you have if you're having such an adrenaline rush, eh? plus, dave is kind of the first person to not expect anything good out of jack and see jack as a person. even peter admits that jack is a monster and uses his scars as reasoning in the pure evil route, not just jack's terrible actions, while dave embraces this and doesn't seem to look down on jack. dave is only ever frightened by jack when jack acts wrong. acts like henry. it's interesting but that's another rant.

the point is that jack defines his own worth by how he completes this promise, and very clearly proclaims that he thinks of himself as a husk and a meatsack. his own soul calls him an abomination just pretending to be jack. for all jack has heart, for all that jack clearly cares and tries so, so hard, he fundamentally doesn't think he's worth anything beyond this obligation, and even when he does meet the bar... it's just what's expected for him to reach redemption. just like how someone with religious trauma believes that ripping themself apart is just what needs to be done to repent.

god is watching.

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for destroying my own family ?

I am part of a race of creature that have magic powers. When I was young, my powers were too intense and they caused me to destroy my own home town. My parents, my family... I lost everything that day. I can live much longer then the average human so I spend at least 2 000 alone. Eventually I found a job as the servant of the local deity. He was a man that would kill his own children, but his children were so devoted to him. I helped him in the war he partook in and would even get rid of the body of his dead children whom he used as soldiers. At some point, only two of them survived. While I did feel bad for them, I never bothered learning their name because there were too many of them and I knew that if I got attached, I would suffer to lose them, like I suffered to lost my family. Anyway, back to the main point, I envied my boss for how his kids were still so obedient and loyal, while I was all alone and had no one so I asked him for an advice and he told me that I should create my own family too. He told me that the onky link that matter was blood connection and that because of this, his children would love him no matter what. So I asked him if he would accept to help me have a baby too. If I had a child that was linked to me by blood, it wouldn't matter how unlovable I actually am, this child would still love me because we share a blood link. He accepted as long as I would help him but he got killed in the meanwhile. So I worked hard for a millenial to help freeing him. In the meantime I took over 3 people. One young child that was initiated to the rituals of our religion. He could barely speak, but I took care of him. A little girl whose mother abandonned. I would praise her often as long as she obeyed. And one man young enough to be my child as well who got along very well with the little girl of my boss.

With them I found the family I dreamt of. No father, no one else. Just me as their mother whom they should love but in reality I knew they didn't loved me. Who could when I was the monster who killed her own family ? They were just hanging with me because they were all alone. Like I with my boss. They were staying with me because they had nowehere to go. Like I with my boss. They were following my goals because they had no other purpose in life. Like I with my boss. In reality, I was still alone. I gave them what they wanted but not what they needed, feeding on their past and keeping them entrapped in it like I am rather then helping them heal from it. But I kept on anyways, still acting as a mother towards them. Making sure that should they disobey I would punish them. And that soon I would have my baby, the one person who would love me or rather would have no reason to deflect from my side. Because this family I created. I ended up causing it to fall apart. My adoptive son rebelled against me and helped our ennemy because he disagreed with my way in how I was trying to lobotomize our boss's daughter. My adoptive daughter rebelled too and tried to interefere with the process. Seems like they burning them using magic fire wasn't enough. So I killed her, I have no use for children who won't obey. And then my adoptive son betrayed us for good. So when he, our boss's daughter and her older sibling went to kill me, me and my other adoptive son, the one that did not betrayed me and never caused me to ever mistreat him, I knew I was right about my adoptive son and my adoptive daughter. They didn't loved me. They would deflect from me. And my boss having left, the only chance I had to find someone who wouldn't abandon me by having a child related by blood to me had now disappeared. Out of spite, I lied to my boss daughter and her sibling by making them believe I had changed my mind, but in reality I was just helping them to hurt my boss, by making him realize that the only person who was by his side betrayed him. Like my son and my daughter did to me. I knew it, that only through blood I could have the love I dreamt of, someone who would love me, me and only me, without having to share with anyone else. But that didn't happened.

Instead, I spend the only moment that I was still alive thinking about what if things had happened differently. Then, turned out the only person who was still by my side, my other adoptive son, was still here, alive, dying slowly as I was. I told him the truth, he asked me why I only waited now to betray that man... I don't even know. I just wanted my baby. I hope maybe if I waited...I would finally have it, the one person who would love me. The one reason why I made all these decision in the first place. I couldn't think of it, all I sense in that question was that he too wanted to deflect from my side and that's normal, in reality no one could ever love me unless restricted by an unbreakable chain. So I asked him if he would have wished to join our ennemies. He answered angrily that it was out of the question and that he would die then abandonn me. I couldn't believe my ears. I though he was joking when he said I was like a mother, a sister, a god to him. But I realized he was genuine. I realized someone in this world could love me... that maybe it was the same for my other son and my daugther... that maybe we could have been a real family, that I was blind... this entire time they were here for me. And I ruined everything. I lost them forever. Just when I realized the extent of my sins, it was the moment were all strengh left my body. My last words were a "I am sorry" I barely had the strengh to utter... now it's too later for me, it's too later to be redeemed. Forgiveness cannot be granted for me...

So... AITA ?

[heavendear32]

9. Play It Cool

Summary: “I know that gods roam the earth because I used to walk with them”, Haneul is an immortal being with powers that most humans would kill for. When Haneul gambles with the gods, she loses her powers and without her powers she’s cursed to die by the next full moon. She hurries to get her powers back with the help from the last person Haneul wants to be around: a demon.

Pairing: Demon!Hongjoong X Fem!O/c

Word count: 2,590

Warnings: mythical creatures, mentions of getting cursed, spiritual messages, mentions of religions, cussing, allusions to smut, mentions of loss of blood and drinking blood, mentions of possession, mentions of magic usage, mentions of death, death, violence, drinking, gambling, other idols are mentioned, pet names (darling, babe, baby, my dear), deals, misogyny, mentions of illness and postpartum depression.

Author’s Note: I’m finally back. I’m so sorry, I’ve been dealing with really bad writer’s block and haven’t touched this series because I felt bad not writing. I’m feeling better and I promise this time I will write more but it’s gonna be a slow start. Thank you for everyone who reads my stories:)

“Why do you care for me so much?”

Hongjoong heart stopped for a second, that line itself wasn’t bad but the way Haneul said it. She sounded sad, the woman looked away almost as if it hurt her to look at him.

“What?” Hongjoong asked

She started fidgeting again, Haneul knew how Demon’s worked. Haneul knew that they fed off of intimacy, or at least most of them and she had been the stupid girl who had fallen for their tricks many times. so if Hongjoong was going to do the same, she’d find someway to break their deal but Haneul hoped that it wasn’t the case. Today had been fun and it would hurt if he was lying. Hongjoong tightened his grip on her shoulder.

“If you’re just using me then I’ll find someway to break our deal cause I will not be the foolish girl. You said it yourself that you didn’t like humans.” Haneul answered and Hongjoong just laughed, he couldn’t believe that she would think that. “I didn’t like humans, I thought they were stupid foolish creatures but you are different. You’re more bearable than other humans.”

Haneul laughed at Hongjoong’s words. “There is something about you that I was drawn to, maybe it was because you know about the mythical world or because you are a goddess. I promise I would never do that to you.”

The two looked at each other, the woman smiled at Hongjoong before resting her head on his shoulder. They stared off into the night sky, the stars twinkling brightly almost dancing up in the sky.

“They’re beautiful just like someone I know.” The Demon looked from up at the sky over to the woman resting on his shoulder, her eyes fluttering open and closed as her lips curled up into a smile. “Hongjoong.”

“What?”

Haneul mumbled out sleepily. “I’ve always wanted to go to an amusement park.”

The Demon nodded, he would make all her dreams come true until she gained her powers or her last day on earth.

••••

The sounds of screaming and cheering filled the air, Haneul grabbed Hongjoong’s hand and pulled him through the turnstiles. Hongjoong just smiled as he allowed her to lead him, these places were never his favorite but at least Haneul was happy. She looked back at Hongjoong pointing forward at some ride.

“Come on let’s go.” Haneul said excitedly

She let go of Hongjoong’s hand and raced forward like a little kid, her eyes sparkled as if Haneul was looking at the most beautiful thing. Her excitement only grew more the closer they got to riding the rollercoaster, she had never gone to an amusement park before. It felt weird going alone to someplace like this but she never had anyone to go with, Yeonjun never liked humans like she did so this wasn’t a place he would be caught dead in. So this place was amazing, Haneul never wanted to leave as she knew why humans loved daring things. The rides were fast and fun, but by the third ride Hongjoong was trying to stop the world from spinning.

“Come on Hongjoong, hurry up let’s go.” She grabbed the Demon’s hand trying to pull him but Hongjoong didn’t move, his other hand pressed against his stomach. ‘How about we do something besides the rides, look there a food stall over there.”

Haneul looked over as Hongjoong intertwined his hand with hers, he slowly pulled the girl away from the rides and over to the games and food. He sat her down at one of the tables.

“Stay here, I’ll go get some food. Don’t go anywhere okay.” Hongjoong turned around and walked off. Haneul let out a sigh and rested her head in her hands, she couldn’t believe that Hongjoong would rather sit here in the middle of an amusement park and eat than go on some of these rides.

She had never been to an amusement park, not even Magic Island. She wasn’t sure what was this but this pace seemed a thousand times better that what she heard was at Magic Island. The sounds, the sights, the feeling just everything made her heart race and she couldn’t forget about Hongjoong. Her eyes got brighter as she watched him walk back over holding some food, he passed the cotton candy over to Haneul as he sipped on his lemonade.

“Here.” He said. “I also got us some corndog.”

Hongjoong placed the hotdogs on the table between them, he continued to sip his drink as Haneul pulled some of the cotton candy from the bag. The two sat there quietly for a bit, the commotion from the crowds swirled around them.

“Thank you for everything. This really made my day.” The woman said as she continued to eat the cotton candy. “It sounds sad but I’ve never had this much fun ever in my entire life.”

“Well I think everyone should go out with a bang.” It was supposed to be comforting, but Hongjoong’s stomach twisted as he watched Haneul smile faded. She pulled her thumb and pointer fingers apart then squished them back together, playing with the cotton candy stuck to her fingers. “I didn’t mean it like that, I-I-I was saying that everyone should have fun before…they die.”

He cleared his throat and looked away realizing that his next sentence didn’t help either. The woman stared down as her heart hung in her chest, she knew what he meant and she had come to terms with her death so then why did it hurt so much.

“I get it, it just a hard pill to swallow.” Haneul answered slowly as a sad smile crossed her face before she jumped off the table and grabbed Hongjoong’s hand. “Now come on we have a whole park to ride.”

The Demon’s eyes went wide as she pulled him down the path, his grip on his drink became tighter. Hongjoong tried to stabilize himself but Haneul was walking really fast, she finally let go of him and as Hongjoong looked up Haneul disappeared in the crowd. Panic set in his eyes as he rushed forward trying to find the woman but as people pushed passed him, Hongjoong lost sight of her and he let out a groan.

“Haneul!” He yelled as his eyes searched for Haneul, he continued to walk forward

His heart began to race, was it safe here for her? Was there some mythical being here waiting to kill her? What if she gets lost? So many what ifs filled his mind. He needed to find her, the panic started to set in as time seemed to pass by faster and he had been wandering the same paths for what felt like the 6th time. Couples laughed together as one held a plushy, one that they won at one of the games, children rushed passed him and all held plushies. Hongjoong watched where they ran off to following them as they led him to a new row of games and there standing frozen with her back facing Hongjoong.

The Demon rushed up to Haneul and let out a sigh, the woman stood there with her eyes locked on something in front of her. She stared at one of the plushies hanging on the wall, it was a cute plush rabbit and Haneul needed it.

“Haneul, don’t run away like that.” He said and turned her away from the game, the woman was pulled out of her thoughts. “Are you okay? Did anything happen to you?”

She just smiled at the Demon, nodded before she pointed over at the game. Hongjoong looked over confusedly.

“would you win me one of those?” She asked with a child-like expression. “Which one?”

••••

Humming as she walked down the street, Haneul smiled at those walking passed her or those working in the shops. The woman stopped as she reached a certain spot where a couple old women sat in a circle, a group of children sat in front of them listening closely to the old women. She smiled and stood behind the children, Haneul had heard the story that the women were telling many times before.

Haneul remembered when she was a child sitting in front of these women, years ago. They were telling the same stories, ones of how the gods came to be. How Seokga stole the world and all of humanity from Mireuk or about the one who ventured down into the underworld but there was one story that Haneul knew word for word. That was the story of the woman on the moon, Haneul knew everything about the story, how she was stuck up there and how if you wish hard enough it was said that she granted them. Haneul looked up at the illuminating moon before opening her mouth.

“She shoved those pills in her mouth whether by force or choice and then suddenly she felt her body change-“ the old woman said as the children gasped and Haneul stepped froward and waved her hands around. “As her feet left the ground and she began to float into the sky. She tried to hold onto her lover but was ultimately pulled away and up into the sky. Higher and higher she floated away until she was placed gently on the moon, her only friend was the rabbit that jumped too high.”

The old women smiled but shook their fists at the girl, the children stared up at the younger woman.

“Is she still up there?” One of the little girls asked

Haneul nodded. “I’m pretty sure, it was a long time ago.”

Another one of the kids shook their head as they said. “It must be lonely up there.”

Haneul looked back up, the moon was barely there but she could see the outline of the rabbit. “She’s not up there alone, she has the rabbit in the moon to keep her company.”

The women clicked their tongues. “That poor man she left, she’s stuck up there while her lover is under the ground.”

Haneul leaned down and pulled the attention away from the old women, the children crowded around her as Haneul continued. “They say that if you wish on a clear night, that she will grant your wish.”

“I wish I could get to the moon, to see her.”

Haneul turned around and pointed off into the distance, she pointed at a mountain that was under the moon. She whispered over to the girl who said that.

“I heard that if you climb high enough that you would be able to meet her but no one has been able to climb that high.”

The woman stood up and turned leaving the group of children. Haneul’s eyes were stuck on that mountain, she always dreamed of climbing up to the moon and meeting the Goddess. She turned and looked back into the forest before disappearing through the trees.

Her eyes went wide as she heard the small sound, it was barely audible but in the quietness of the forest and to Haneul, it was the loudest thing. That’s when something grabbed her shoulder, the girl gasped and tried to push away whoever was grabbing her.

“Get off me!” She yelled before hearing a laugh

As she opened her eyes she was met with the sight of Jongho. The young master laughed as he held onto her shoulders, finally Haneul had calmed herself down. Before she could say anything, the woman heard the sound again.

“My-“ Jongho started to say but Haneul held up her finger stopping him.

“Do you hear that Young Master?” She asked and they waited for a second. Haneul’s eyes went wide but Jongho just looked at her confusedly.

Haneul turned around and headed off in a certain direction. Jongho followed after Haneul who seemed to be looking for something. The woman gasped and ran up to something, she fell to her knees next to the rabbit who had been caught in a trap. The animal started squeaking in fear but Haneul whispered to it as she slowly untangled it from the net, the animal seemed to calm down at the girl’s presence.

“He’s still young.” Haneul said to Jongho as she calmed the bunny down. “Just barely left his nest.” She picked him up and moved her hand up and down the bunny’s body trying to find any injuries

“How do you know?” Jongho asked as he knelt next to her

The girl giggled and pointed to the top of his head. “The white diamond is mostly gone.”

She slowly put him down and watched as the bunny hopped away, hurrying off into the dense forest. Jongho stood back up and put out his hand, Haneul smiled and took his hand.

“I need to talk to you, my lady.” Jongho said now that they weren’t being disturbed and Haneul nodded. “What about Young Master?”

He sighed. “I’m leaving….just for a little bit. I’m going into the city to my family. I’ll be gone a couple, a month at most. I want you to remember me when I am gone.”

Haneul looked down as the man pulled something from behind his back, she gasped as she what it was. She reached out and touched the Daenggi.

“I cannot possibly take this Young Master.” Haneul shook her head but Jongho smiled. He took her hand and flipped it so her palm was facing the sky, Jongho placed the gift into her hand. “Please take it, my lady. To remember me.”

Haneul looked into Jongho’s eyes, not moving. She was frozen but finally a smile cover her face and she nodded.

“I will wear it everyday until you come back.” Haneul told the man

“And I will bring you something back that matches your beauty but it will be almost impossible.”

••••

“You’re being so mean Hongjoong, just give it to me!’ Haneul whined as Hongjoong held the plushy behind his back

He may have cheated to get it for Haneul but still he wanted to have a bit of fun with her for making him worried. He just laughed and turned every time Haneul tried to reach behind his back.

“What’s the magic word, darling?’ He asked and Haneul pouted, the woman crossed her arms. they both stood there, the Demon cocked his eyebrow waiting for an answer

Haneul’s eyes changed, they became big and she looked up at him innocently. “Please?”

Hongjoong couldn’t say no when she asked that nicely even though that wasn’t what he was talking about. He stood there for second and watched as Haneul fluttered her eyelashes innocently.

“Well I was looking for ‘Hongjoong is great’ but I guess please will work.” Hongjoong answered and pulled the plushy from behind his back

It was rabbit plushy, it was a light green and almost looked like a jade. Haneul’s pout turned into a smile as she wrapped her arms around the plush, the sight made Hongjoong laugh.

“Thank you Joongie.” Haneul said

Hongjoong froze at the nickname, there was something about how she said it. It melted his heart and he was glad in these moments that he was stuck with her. He turned so that he was facing the same direction as Haneul and he wrapped his arm around her.

“Let’s go home now. We have a lot of things to do.”

Haneul couldn’t wait for the next couple of weeks. When she was with Hongjoong, she forgot about her curse, and all that mattered to her was the Demon.

[i-may-be-an-emu]

TWs: Discussing Christianity and the words g*nocide and k*ll.

Just saw a post about how someone hates Christians and wants to commit anti-christian genocide... ah, idk what to say to that.. I know people might say I shouldn't say anything but i feel i have to, and if you don't like it then don't read this, block me, I dont care.

I hate that the church has hurt people, so, so much. I know people are traumatised and that some people use Christianity as an excuse to be bad people, but the whole things not bad. Yes, lots of Christian people belive lots of messed up stuff, but there's also a lot of good Christians out there who support the people who usually hate the church because they've been hurt by the church. I know Christians who absaloutly not only accept but support lgbtqia+ people, love disabled people, advocate for POC and women's rights, and Christians who respect other's religions. I am one of these Christians. It makes me terrified to think that being a Christian means i may not be safe around people, and people threatening to kill anyone who is a Christian is super confronting on top of being trans and disabled and ace and pan. I know that the church has hurt people and I hate it but I recognise it has happened and I apologise on behalf of the church. Stuff will continue to happen, I can't control that. but I can try to make people see that being Christian doesn't equal bigotry and hate. My church has a gender-nuteral bathroom and welcomes literally everyone no matter their race or age or anything. We have spaces for wheelchairs and people with mobility aids, elevators, the whole lot. I cant count the amounts of times disabled people have been baptised at my church. I know all these things shouldn't be a big deal, they should be standard and regular because they are necessary and people shouldn't need to use them as a reason that people aren't crap. But what im trying to say is; not all Christians are bad and I love you. I'm so sorry if you have been hurt by the church, and I will try to make sure that less people will be by getting at least one of the "bad Christians" to see this and be better. God loves all His children, no matter what.

[echologname]

Deception red flags🚩

If you are unhappy, confused, the things you say and do are hurting your relationships with family, you're angry, you think what you think is good but let me ask you, then why are you scared or feeling guilty and bitter? If everything's "fine" then why do you feel like you're losing your mind? Why does your stress never stay away and keeps coming back to kick you down?

These things are NOT from God. God IS love, He brings joy and peace to those who trust in Him.

The Enemy wants to use you to do their work, to sin, and doesn't care how much it hurts you and you'll feel hurt SPIRITUALLY, i.e. mentally and emotionally. Your mental health is in the gutter and your heart in pieces.

Please, this is a serious situation. It leads to sin which hurts Jesus because He has to pay the price for it and it hurts your spirit too. Whenever you lie, even a little, He bleeds so that you will be forgiven. And if He's within you, you feel that pain too. Please don't hurt the One who loves you, stays with you, protects you and heals you. Please don't forget who was with you when no one else was. Please don't forget every prayer He's ever answered and every ailment He's ever healed.

If you're experiencing ANY of these things right now, please pray to God. 🚩 If you feel like you don't want to, that's the Enemy trying to keep you away from freeing yourself of their control by calling upon the ONLY One who can break your chains, shine light in the darkness and make your twisted path straight again.

I was reading my Bible fervently and the warnings and talk of so much pain and suffering coming from our sins made me a bit anxious. I went from someone who's had such a strong faith but then I felt more broken than ever and turned away from God and towards magic and Paganism (don't judge, I had this NEED to be spiritual but I wasn't ready to go back to God yet). I turned into a non-believer and forgot who Jesus was, how undeniably ALIVE He is and started looping the God of Christianity like any other religion, like fairy tales. Thing is, Christianity is a RELATIONSHIP with God. It doesn't stand on churches or preachers, they could disappear but GOD never will. Even without The Bible, God will still reach out to His people to love them, teach them and save them because all He wants is for us to love Him back. So, as I was reading my Bible I started to fret, have I denied and ashamed God, the Father, the Son and The Holy Spirit beyond Salvation? Well, Hebrews 6:4-6 does speak of the Eternal Sin of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit as being a sin that can't be repented, no amount of Jesus's blood can pay the price for forgiveness. I didn't feel peace at all today. I couldn't forgive myself either. Then I realized, my story was intricately planned by God long ago, He knew all of this would happen, so, this is another time where I need to trust that He can make any wrong right, He can make all my suffering for good. And if I don't feel at peace, my heart is heavy, that's another red flag 🚩 because God is the author of peace and of a clear mind. So, though my voice was shaky from crying, I told myself to just start singing, sing whatever came to mind, sing whatever praise I needed to and I started to feel better almost immediately. Once my mind was clearer, I thought, if I had truly offended God, He could have just stricken me down and killed me right then and there but He showed me love upon love knowing it would eventually break through the curse of Satan's influence.

Spiritual stuff isn't always tangible, you may not be sure if anything is all that real, BUT you think and feel, right? (If you're AI reading this, sorry) 🚩ANY negative feeling ISN'T from God. You know what it's like to have your 🚩mind racing, even if the thoughts you're thinking aren't "bad" if they're causing you distress, they're from The Enemy.

Though The Enemy CAN make you feel good and make you THINK something is good, if you're still in a storm of self destruction, they're NOT good!

Not everyone knows what to say when they pray, and a lot of times you don't even know you're being deceived or why you're struggling. This is what I should have prayed when I was experiencing all of this:

Dear Jesus,

I'm hurting and confused. I don't know what's going on. Please illuminate my path with your light so that I may see evil for what it is and call upon your strength to reject it.

Please, make my mind clear, it feels like a crumpled piece of paper.

I'm cold and angry, and I don't know how to stop feeling this way. I don't know why I keep making poor choices when I thought they were right. I'm having identity issues, I don't know who I am anymore.

I need help Lord, I can't ignore these issues, I can no longer ignore that I'm down spiraling in self destruction. I feel trapped, my soul longs to be free.

Even if I turned away from You, I still need you, my One hope when everything's falling apart. Please, deliver me from these afflictions, cast out these droning whispers in my head, I want to feel love again.

Thank you and Amen!

[nangbaby]

You don't need to have an explanation. I don't believe in a time limit for a reply to any of my posts. If you want to reblog a post of mine from years ago to talk about it, you are definitely welcome. I thought you might have been away this past weekend because Yom Kippur was yesterday (Sunday sundown).

There's a certain nuance you seem to be missing, but this nuance is extremely important. Neither of us is arguing the Nazis are good. positive, or anything than representing a mentality that killed millions. You seem to be under the impression that because Nazis are bad, killing them is "good." No, you're just repaying evil unto evil. Sometimes the evil is a necessary evil to preserve life; for instance in self-defense it is permissible to kill an attacker who is either actively trying to kill you or is imminently in the act of launching an attack. But that doesn't make it "good" to kill an attacker. That someone has to die is always a tragedy. You miss the fact that Nazis are bad people, but they are still people. Turning them into soulless monsters akin to a comic book movie, while emotionally satisfying, is dehumanization ignores the reality nearly anyone can become radicalized to that degree for the "right" cause.

There's also the fallacy that because the Nazis were objectionable people, every single belief they held was objectionable by proxy. And because I have to be hyper-specific, this is not "The Nazis did some good things" but "The Nazis wore uniforms so wearing uniforms as an army is a bad thing." But you would consider wearing (non-Nazi) uniforms Nazi apologism.

But then you dovetail. Again try to distract by implying I was talking about conscripts when I was talking about Nazis in the other thread. I'm was referring about the German civilians, the people who did not necessarily serve in the armed forces, but supported the creation of ghettoes not out of fear but because they agree with the cause. I'm referring the the people who were "neutral" and did not object or take action as the various laws were passed to harshly define Jewish as an ethnicity and the specific ancestry needed to qualify. I know full well that Nazis didn't just target those of inferior blood or breeding. Before Kristallnacht there was the Night of Long Knives.

More importantly, the Nazi regime did not create its rules about separating ethnic groups out of thin air. No, the template of the laws that were enacted in Nazi Germany were from that of many of the state laws from the Southern U.S. While there was some ambiguity and back-and-forth in the centuries past, historically in Western Europe, Jews were seen as a religion, not an ethnicity. The whole aim of Nazi Germany was to reframe Jews as solely an ethnic group as to justify extermination. Basically, the Nazis fast tracked the whole decades of race-based segregationist laws and implemented them. My point is that while the evil of the Nazis is evident, it wasn't unique or something that only the soldiers participated in. It was embedded in society and the hearts of the people of society.

It's more complicated than your "Die, Nazi! Die!" fantasy. After all, if killing "evil" people is good, then you can justify rounding up people and killing them by saying they are "evil." Like they said about the Jews, the Romani, the disabled, homosexuals, communists, and so, so many others. If you see "the fact that human flesh and cremains apparently makes a nice fertilizer" as a "good" thing, then by your metric, the Nazis did a "good" thing with their death camps.

You even wrote in one of your tags "why is 'don't hurt people' so controversial?"

And then, for someone who claims I twisted words, you once again take the bad-faith out of context reading of my words. I wrote:

Me not bring [sic] happy you lied, is proof that I lied? For someone who talks about me having a persecution complex...this is definitely an unhealthy case of projection. Maybe you should just take your own advice and let go of all your hatred, criticism, and negativity towards me. I am a person of worth who deserves to be treated with more kindness and friendship than you have shown, and I am sure some day you will believe in something else than tearing down people over the Internet because they disagree with you. It's okay. I can forgive you for this.

Your reply.

I'm glad you can forgive me for hating Nazis.

Scroll up. I wasn't talking about Nazis at that point. I was talking about me. The only way you can read that as me forgiving you for hating Nazis is if you are lumping me in with Nazis. So you have called me a Nazi passively yet again.

But, wait! There's more.

The only hatred and negativity most people have toward you - me included - is that you try to make yourself the center of the universe.

Imagine that. Me prioritizing myself over you results in earned negativity. Why should me prioritizing myself be considered a bad thing? I thought you were for self-care, self-worth, and standing up for yourself. No, you're only for that when it's you.

Everyone is the center of their universe.

You imply I'm controlling a person I've talked to a handful of times.

If you're posting something and it causes someone to interact with you in support...you are controlling them. They would not support you if you didn't post. That's what manipulation is, to skillfully influence others to your benefit.

You have absolutely no understanding of boundaries or rules or anything like that - you simply expect everyone to roll over on their belly and kiss your ass.

Hm...didn't you write something else before? Your words!

People are obliged to treat you kindly and not be a jerk, but that's it.

I don't even get a "that's it." Treating me kindly and not being a jerk is kissing my ass. Sorry, if you talked to me the way you have most recently, in an emotionally abusive and insulting way, you're the jerk. And you're crossing my boundaries to be treated as an equal human being.

You also seem to delight in pushing people's buttons, then get surprised when people get angry with you because you pushed a button.

More projection. Since you wrote:

You fascinate me in a way that makes me want to poke you under a microscope, just to see what makes you tick. It's not a good thing

You get angry? Sounds like a you problem. Maybe you should try to let things go. Anger is no excuse to be mean or abusive to me. But let's move on...

And you lie. You've lied a lot. You've lied about @zigcarnivorous, you've lied about me (and tried to put words into my mouth), and you've probably lied about wandering-wolf.

Now you're just throwing accusations against me without any proof. Unlike you, I backed up as much as I could when I said people were lying. Apparently, I'm not allowed to be wrong because @zigcarnivorous threatened to block me and followed through.

Unlike you, I can admit I was factually wrong. Admitting I was wrong is showing weakness and "lying" in your view. Actual lying, though, requires that you say something that you know is is not true in order to deceive. You have levied many false accusations against me and ignored the evidence I provided to paint me as some Nazi. Both you and @zigcarnivorous have done this.

But this is the topper.

You compare yourself to Black people during segregation, while conveniently forgetting that a lot of you being blocked is self inflicted.

..."during segregation"

Like segregation is "over." No, things aren't as terrible as they were during the days of Jim Crow, but segregation under "freedom of association" -- you know, what you deem boundaries -- is very much in tact.

But let's get back to the rest. You do know that in the name of harm reduction, it doesn't matter if a problem is self-inflicted or not, that you help the person with a problem anyway. You know, for instance, that it doesn't matter if you are shot by someone else or you shoot yourself, that if you are taken to the hospital, medical professionals will try to save your life. You're arguing people who self harm should be insulted, abused, and accused of being Nazi apologists and liars then left to their own devices so the problem takes care of itself. That's very kind of you. /s

But since you use "Do you support Total Nazi Death?" as a purity test it doesn't surprise me that you ignore your black and white thinking and declare yourself the sole arbiter of who should be saved and who would be killed. You throw accusation of "Nazi apologia" in yet another attempt at villainizing me, and I find it disturbing how much you compare me with Mommie Dearest.

I'm not responsible for your mommy issues. If you're mad at your mother, talk to her or not, but I'm not her.

That's odd. Yesterday she blocked me. But today I'm unblocked and she 'answered' an old ask from me [she still had it hanging around in her inbox bc she had only screenshat it before].

It's pretty obvious she prefers circling back and repeating herself. I have my own screenshot from September 13th, ten days ago. The messages are most-recent-first.

As far as I know she still hasn't responded to this message. Which is cute in a way.

That, plus the recent spate of "I'm going to imply that some Nazis were good people, actually" has convinced me that there are deeper issues here. Plus acting like I'm controlling you???

[doodlboy]

Howdy

[atlafan]

Heal - One Shot

a/n: werewolffry is here!! I rewrote this like three different times because supernatural au’s are just not my thing, but I’m pretty happy with how this turned out. I didn’t research anything, I sort of just came up with my own lore, and based some of it off of the show Teen Wolf, but not by much. Feedback and reblogs are super helpful, I can’t wait to know what you think! I have some other Halloween requests, but keep them coming! I’m hoping to post one every week until Halloween. Enjoy! (not proofread)

Warnings: Fluff, a little angst, smut (pegging)

Words: 14.8K

Harry, Niall, and Louis are all werewolves; it was that simple. What wasn’t simple was they were university students, trying to live regular lives. The three of them all came from different families, but these families had truces, so they were allowed to interact. Over the years, hunters had started breaking their codes, and wolf numbers were starting to dwindle, so many families were starting to extend their packs to keep everyone safe.

Harry’s family was probably one of the most important; they were healers. Healers were a rare and special breed of werewolf. They were basically the wizards of their kind. All werewolves had the ability to heal themselves, sure, and they could take the pain away from others, but healers had the ability to fix broken bones, extract bullets and close wounds without stiches, they had herbs and “potions” to help humans when they felt so inclined. They were pure, kind, and empathetic. Anne was the head, the matriarch, and Gemma was next in line. However, Harry, needed to be protected at all costs. Male healers…they were easily persuaded, and often got a little too attached to the people they mated with. The women were much more reserved, careful, so when Harry was in secondary school, and started dating…Anne had Gemma give him a little talk about the birds and the bees.

Now, there were no rules saying that wolves couldn’t date or mate with regular people. Because of the dwindling numbers over the years, many partners were being turned. It was essentially like going through the process of converting religions. There was some studying involved, some promises that needed to be made, and some understandings on both parties’ sides.

The boys had all grown up together, and they all learned how to fight and protect themselves, although, Harry hated fighting. As a healer, he had his qualms about hurting other people. He’d always feel bad if he accidentally hurt one of his trainers, rushing to their side immediately to help them. Louis, once a very free spirit, had become hardened after becoming the leader of his family’s pack. No one blamed him, his immediate family got murdered by hunters. Now all of his cousins and other family members looked to him for guidance. It was why he took a gap year before going to university. He also wanted to wait to be able to go with Harry and Niall. Anne was grateful that Louis would be watching over her son. Niall was great and all, but he could be a proper dolt in his own right. He was a skilled fighter, but that was about all he had going for him.

They were going into their second year, and this year they had a flat all to themselves. Being in the dorms…well, it was nothing short of a disaster. They were in a triple their first year, and that was just not enough space for three young werewolves. Now they all had their own rooms so they could do as they pleased. Harry was excited to start his new semester. There was a girl he enjoyed the scent of that worked at the bookstore café last year, and he hoped she would be returning. She was the only one that made his coffee correctly. Not that Harry was snooty, but he was practically royalty, so he had his moments where he acted a little spoiled. He wasn’t sure how someone could fuck up a small black coffee with a little butter in it, but if it wasn’t her who made it, it was fucked up. She was American, so he had no idea if she had just been studying abroad last semester or not.

As much as he frequented the bookstore café, he didn’t say more than his coffee order to her. It killed him. He wanted to flirt with her, tell her how good she smelled, and god, did she smell good. It’s what drew him into the café in the first place, the scent of honey and vanilla. He didn’t talk to her because he didn’t know her, he didn’t know her family. Anyone Harry dated in secondary school he had known his whole life. He knew if they came from a hunter or not. He wasn’t sure how things worked for werewolves in the states. He had no idea if the codes were different, and anytime he asked his mother about it she just told it was something he didn’t need to worry about. The girl seemed nice enough, but Gemma had explained to Harry long ago that male healers were gullible when it came to the people they wanted to mate with.

That’s not to say Harry didn’t mate…he mated often, but mostly with people he had no mental attachment to. He didn’t like the idea of not having a lot of control over his mind, so he stuck to random hook ups. At first he didn’t believe Gemma when she first explained everything to him once he hit puberty, but when he found himself in the woods one night with a rabbit in his teeth that he had killed for his regular girlfriend, he understood. He dropped it out of his mouth. “She’s not a werewolf, she won’t want that.” Gemma had said as she put a hand on his shoulder. “I know you want to please her, but this isn’t the way.” She had chuckled. His sister had laughed at him. He didn’t want to give her a reason to do that again. Granted, he was fifteen, and in puppy-love, but still.

He had learned to control himself, as did Niall and Louis, when it came to the people he was attracted to. He was cautious and observant, and perhaps would just admire from afar. Much to his delight, and surprise, as he was walking around campus with Niall and Louis before classes started, he saw the girl in the bookstore window helping put out inventory. Harry smiled to himself. Even if he was still too shy to get to know her, he could at least sleep peacefully knowing he’d be getting a decent cup of coffee.

//

Working at the university bookstore was an easy gig. Sure, once in a while Y/N would get a disgruntled student who wasn’t pleased about how expensive a book or a sweatshirt was, but other than that things were pleasant. She loved seeing prospective students and their excited families come in to buy their first piece of memorabilia. The bookstore also house a small café for students to grab some coffee and a pastry, and sometimes they’d stay to do some studying. Sometimes she was behind the bar making drinks, sometimes she’d be working the register, and other times she’d be in the back taking stock.

One of her favorite customers was a boy she barely knew, but had seen around campus plenty. His name was Harry, and he’d order a whipped black coffee with butter every morning. She didn’t work every morning, but any morning she was working, she’d make it for him.  Or, that’s how it was last semester, anyways. She had no idea what year he was, he could have finished school last year for all she knew. Y/N chose to study abroad for the entirety of her college career. She had done some traveling in high school, and loved it. She felt way more independent going to school in England, and way more adult. She and her roommates had their own flat this year, and she was excited to really make the space her own. She was in a cramped dorm last year, so having her own room was a major step up.

It was syllabus week, but she was dreading her Calculus class. It was the last math class she needed, thank god. In her first year she had to take algebra, and then precalc. She was a biology student, so she needed Calculus. It was just a lot to balance with her other major courses. Taking bio, chem, and math classes all at the same time was a pain in the ass. Another pain in the ass was that there weren’t a ton of other girls in her classes. Just awkward boys who thought they were smarter than her. She can’t help her jaw from dropping when she sees Harry walk into the classroom. His eyes scan over his options and then widen when he sees her. He knew he smelt something good. He smirks when he sees her obviously flustered, and he walks over slowly to sit down next to her. He flashes her his award winning, shit eating grin, and takes a notebook out of his backpack. He could feel her heart racing, and he almost felt bad, but her heart did that every time he came into the bookstore café. At first he thought it just did that because she was busy, but he realized soon he just made her nervous. Another reason he didn’t say more than a few words to her, until today that is.

Harry turns slightly to look at her, resting his cheek on his fist. She does a double take and sees he’s looking at her. She furrows her brows at him.

“Sorry, you just look really familiar.” He says. “Don’t mean to stare.” He was trying to play it cool. He didn’t want to seem like a stalker.

“Oh! It’s okay, um, I…I work at the campus bookstore.”

“That’s right! You’re the girl who knows how to make my coffee. I think you’re the only one who works there that can do it right.” He sighs.

“It’s not difficult.” She mumbles. “Maybe it’s just the unusual order that throws the others off.”

“Adding butter to coffee isn’t that unusual.” He rolls his eyes. He was talking to her like they were old friends. Maybe in his mind they were. She blinks at him. “What?”

“Nothing…it’s just, well, this is the most you’ve ever spoken to me.” She blushes slightly and takes a pull from her water bottle.

“I could say the same thing to you, you know?” He smirks.

“I’m not the one with the intimidating eyebrows.” She points at his face. “You’re very serious looking.” She gives him a soft smile to let him know she’s only teasing and he smiles back.

“I’m a bit shy, nothing more to it than that. Promise I’m not some scary monster.” God, the irony could have killed him alone.

“Um, how come you’re in calc one? Like, what’s your major?”

“Art History.” She blinks at him again. “I’m an allied health minor, need stats and calc for that.”

“Oh!” She laughs. “Makes sense.”

“What about you?”

“Biology. This is the last math class I need, thank god.”

“Not a fan of math?”

“It’s not that I’m not, I’m just annoyed. I took calculus in high school, but I didn’t know about the math placement assessment last summer, so I had to start out in college algebra last fall. Big waste of time.” She sighs. “Art History and allied health, that’s an interesting combination.”

“Needed a backup, you know how parents can be.”

Truth be told, Harry would go off to be a doctor if he could, but he’d expose himself no doubt. People would catch on to him working “miracles”. It was the empath in him, he just wanted to help anyone and everyone. His mother allowed him the minor for a couple of reasons. One, to scratch his itch for wanting to help people, and two, to learn more about how the body worked so he could properly heal others.

“I totally get it.” She scoffs.

“What do you want to do with bio?”

“I haven’t quite figured out my specialization yet. I don’t think I want to be a doctor doing surgeries, maybe forensics? Working in a lab, that kind of stuff?”

“That’s noble work.” He smiles and she smiles back. “Are you working at the bookstore again this year?”

“Mhm.” She nods. “Sort of have to if I wanna afford things.” She chuckles.

“Cool, good to know I can still get my coffee how I like it.”

“Is that all I’m good for?”

His eyebrows raise as her lips curl up. Oh, she was flirting with him. He has to suppress every urge in his body to not just yank her out of the classroom and take her home with him.

“We’ll have to see how well you do in this class. You may also be good for tutoring.” He wasn’t bad at math, but maybe he could pretend to be if it meant they could start hanging out.

She rolls her eyes at him and shakes her head.

“I’m Y/N, by the way.” She says as the professor walks in.

“Harry.” He whispers, and the class gets started.

//

Y/N bursts through her door later that day. Her roommates were getting lunch started.

“You’ll never guess what happened in calc! That hot guy that used to come into the café last year is in my class, and he sat next to me! He remembered who I was, and he remembered the way I make his coffee. I swear to god we were flirting, oh my fucking god!” She squeals and her friends giggle.

“Slow down, Y/N.” Talia says to her. “He’s just a guy.”

“But he’s not.” Y/N pouts. “He’s so fucking hot, and he seems really sweet.”

“It’s not a great idea to shit where you eat.” Georgie says. “I hooked up with a guy in one of my classes last year and it was super awkward.”

“Who said I was going to jump into bed with him?” Y/N scoffs. “Maybe I just wanna be his friend.” She shrugs and grabs a cheese stick out of the fridge.

“Mhm, a friend who you’d like to bone.” Talia smirks.

“Well…it’s not like I haven’t thought about it. He’s so handsome…he probably sees lots of girls. Although, I’m pretty sure if he snapped his fingers I’d take my pants off for him.”

All of the girls laugh as they eat. This semester would be interesting to say the least.

//

Harry started chatting up Y/N in class after that first day, and he went to the bookstore café every time she worked. Even if he wasn’t in the mood for a coffee, he’d pretend like he was, but it didn’t go much deeper than that. His life was complex, and he had to be careful about who he brought into it.

As he got older, Harry realized he had the ability to shift completely into a wolf, but only on full moons. All werewolves could do this, they just needed to reach a level of maturity to do so, and it was extremely dangerous because if they stayed like that for too long, it was difficult to shift back. However, Harry enjoyed going out on the full moon and just running around it his heart’s desire. It also served to satisfy many of his primal instincts. He could go out and kill a small animal, eat, and feel zero remorse about it. The catch was you had to be naked before shifting, and you’d shift back naked, so you had to leave yourself clothes. Niall thought it would be funny to steal Harry’s clothes after he shifted back.

It was extremely early in the morning, and Harry was standing in the middle of the woods naked. Normally it wouldn’t be a big deal, he could just hop from tree to tree, and get back unnoticed, but he found himself in a well-traveled runner’s path. Plus, he was tired from a night out of wolfing it up, so excuse him for not being thrilled with Niall’s prank. He had learned to control his body temperature, so it’s not like he was cold, he was just annoyed. He needed to listen carefully to every little thing. From afar he hears music and someone breathing heavily. Normally he wouldn’t be so phased, but the scent was familiar. Harry freezes when he realized it’s Y/N, so he quickly hides behind a tree. If she was ever going to see him naked it wouldn’t be like this.

Her music wasn’t up terribly loud, she wasn’t an idiot. Running alone early in the morning meant she couldn’t just zone out, no, she needed to be aware of her surroundings. However, it was fall and she was running in a wooded area, so she strips over a hidden tree root. It wouldn’t have been so bad, but it catches her ankle the wrong way, and Harry can feel the ligaments snapping. He winces for her. That wasn’t even the worst of it. Because of the way she twisted as she fell, her head knocked into the stump of the tree, and it knocked her out.

“Shit.” Harry says to himself as he peers at her limp body.

He had a couple of options. He could easily pretend he didn’t see what happened, and continue to get home unnoticed and let someone else find her, or he could go over there, pick her up, and take her to his place to heal her. He goes with the latter, physically not being able to just leave her. He looks around to make sure no one else was coming, and he strolls over to her. He kneels beside her, putting his palm over her forehead to make sure she was really knocked out. He didn’t want to startle her if she woke up. Something about seeing a naked man over your unconscious body…it probably work out well for him. He closes his eyes for a moment, just to take a little of her pain away, then he hoists her up, carrying her bridal style. He takes a deep breath, his eyes glow red, and then he sprints through the trees back to his flat.

“Took you long enough, what did you do, take extra-long to make me feel bad?” Niall says as he opens the front door. His eyes widen when he sees Harry carrying the girl.

“Got a bit side tracked.” He grunts as he walks in.

“What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything.” He scoffs. “She tripped, and got hurt. I need to take her up to my room to help her. Where’s Lou?”

“He went to the market, we were low on groceries.”

“Good, keep him occupied when he gets back. I don’t think he’d be terribly happy about this.”

Niall nods as Harry carries Y/N up the stairs. He lays her down gentle on his bed, and her eyes flutter open some as he walks to his dresser. She thinks she dreaming because she can faintly see a man’s ass, a perfect ass might she add, and then her eyes rolls back into her head, passing out yet again. Harry grabs some things from his closet, namely a first aid kit. He starts with her ankle. He wraps his large hand around it, taking her pain away. He couldn’t take it all, and he couldn’t fully heal her. That would be too suspicious. He’d need to leave her in a little bit of pain. He heals her ligaments, though, and leaves it to make it feel like she may have just twisted it the wrong way. He wraps a makeshift splint on her for show, and then he moves to her poor head. She had an egg growing out of it, so he takes a deep breath and pops it back in with his thumb. He rubs his palm over her skull to feel around for the potential of a concussion, but he doesn’t feel anything that serious. She’d have a headache at most so he gets up and grabs a water bottle from the case in his closet, and a couple of aspirin from the first aid kit. Since he’s dressed now, and she’s mostly better, he feels like he can wake her up now. He nudges her shoulder gently, and her eyes flutter back open. She flinches when she sees him.

“H-Harry?” She sits up, and winces, grabbing at her ankle. “What’s going on?” She whimpers, and he thinks it’s about the cutest thing he’s ever seen. Her bottom lip slightly jutting out as she assesses herself.

“I was going for a run this morning, uh, the same path you were on I’m assuming, and I saw you trip. You hit your head pretty hard, so I carried you back here, I hope that’s alright.”

“You…you carried me all that way?”

“You’re not exactly heavy.” He mutters, and her cheeks grow red. “Here, uh, do you want some aspirin?”

“Yeah, thanks.” She takes the two pills out of his palm and the water bottle. “My head really hurts.” She looks down at her ankle. “Do you make this splint?”

“I didn’t know if you twisted it or sprained it, so I thought it would be good as a precautionary measure. I think you caught it on a tree root.”

“I’m usually a lot more careful than that…I’m sorry if I troubled you, or ruined your run.”

“You didn’t.” He smiles. “I’m just glad you’re okay, Y/N.”

She gazes at him. Before she can speak his door flies open.

“Harry.” Louis says. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Hey, mate, thanks for knocking.” Harry grits his teeth.

“I need to speak with you and Niall, so take your friend home, now.” He leaves and slams the door shut. Harry sighs heavily and looks at her.

“Sorry about him, he, uh, gets uptight about house rules. Niall probably left the milk out overnight or something.” Harry shrugs. He could feel her worry radiating off her.

“It’s okay…you don’t have to take me home I should be able to make it.” She swings her legs over the side of the bed, and uses his shoulder to help her stand. She winces once her bad foot hits the ground.

“It’s really no problem. I’d feel better knowing you got back okay.”

“You’ve done enough, Harry.” She winces again as she takes a step. Maybe he should have taken more of her pain away. Now he feels guilty.

“I could give you a piggy back ride.” Her eyebrows raise at him. “Would you like that?” He chuckles.

“I…you’d really carry me all the way to my apartment?”

“It’s a flat, darling, we’re not in America.” He rolls his eyes and her face flushes at the term of endearment used so condescendingly. “And yeah, I’d carry you. I bet you’re not even that far away, c’mon.” He wraps his arm around her wrist to get her to stand behind him as he squats. She climbs onto his broad back and he lifts her effortlessly. “Light as a feather, you are. Now, where do you live?” He asks as he takes her out of his room and down the stairs.

“24D…Pine Street.”

“Pine’s barely a block away from here.” He looks over his shoulder and smiles at her on the way out.

“Won’t we look funny like this?” She nearly whispers as he carries her down the street.

“Nah, we probably just look like a proper couple. I’ve got no problem with that…do you?”

“No.” She rests her chin on his shoulder. She inhales some of his cologne and she likes what she smells. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but he just smelled really good to her. “You’re a proper cutie, Harry.”

“Look at you using our slang.” He chuckles. “I am pretty cute, huh?”

“Try being humble, hm?” She nudges the top of his head and it makes him laugh.

His grip on her tightens when they reach the front steps of her flat.

“Hand me your key.”

“I can make it from here.”

“I have to make sure you get inside okay.”

“I will, Harry. I…I’d like to run myself a bath, and I don’t need you there for that.”

“You don’t? Too bad, I’m an excellent bath buddy.”

“Put me down.” She says with a shaky voice, and he smirks. He gently lets her down to her feet and he turns to look at her. “Thank you for being so kind…”

“Do you often run alone?”

“Yeah, my roommates don’t really like it. I don’t blame them, running’s the actual worst, but I don’t really like lifting weights much, so it’s the lesser of two evils for me.”

“Text me sometime, I’d go running with you.” He fishes his phone out of his pocket and hands it to her.

“Really?”

“Yeah.” He smiles. “We could be two proper cuties out running together.”

“Mhm, okay.” She scoffs as she puts her number in his phone and texts herself. She hands it back to him.

“I mean it, you’re very cute.” She rolls her eyes at him. “You are! Especially in calc when your brows are all furrowed when you’re concentrating.” He steps a little closer to her. “You get this very serious pout on your face, it’s adorable.”

“Why…why are you watching me in class, and not paying attention?”

“You’re distracting.” It wasn’t a lie, and it wasn’t meant to be sexist. He wasn’t a little boy getting a stuffy from a bra strap, but she always smelled so good, and anytime she moved he’d get a fresh whiff of her. She looks down at her tattered sneakers and then back to him. She felt like she could easily get lost in his eyes. “Will you let me know later how you’re feeling?”

“Yes.” He nods at that and starts walks down her steps as she keys into her flat. “Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m…working later if you wanna come by the café.”

He grins at her and turns to keep walking. She takes a deep breath as she gets inside. She had a lot of squealing to do with her roommates.

//

“Tell me again why you thought it would be a good idea to leave Harry, of all people, in the woods naked? I know you’re bored because you’re not allowed to be on the football team, I’m bored too, but that doesn’t mean you can prank him like that.” Louis was scary when he got mad at the boys. He didn’t yell, but you could hear the clear disappointment in his voice, and that was ten times worse. “Well? I’m waiting for an answer, Niall.”

“I guess I wasn’t really thinking.” He mumbles as he sits with Harry on the couch. The two of them looked like little puppies being scolded for shitting on the rug.

“No, you weren’t.” Louis huffs. “And you.” He looks at Harry. “You thought helping a girl, while naked, was an equally good idea?”

“I couldn’t just leave her there!”

“I know you couldn’t.” Louis sighs. “You just shouldn’t have been left alone. We’ve been lucky at this school so far, I’d like to keep things as easy going as they are. You brought a total stranger here.”

“She’s not a total stranger.” Harry mumbles as he twiddles his thumbs. “She’s that girl I’ve been crushing on from the bookstore, and she also happens to be in my calc class…so I know her.”

“We don’t know if she’s harmless or not.” Louis says.

“Looked pretty harmless when Harry carried her in like a limp noodle.” Niall chuckles, and Louis shoots daggers at him, getting him to shut up.

“Did she question anything?” Louis asks.

“No…I didn’t heal her fully so she wouldn’t be suspicious.” He runs a hand through her hair. “I had to help her, she smells to fucking good to not help.”

“You’ve mentioned that a couple of times, but I’m not smelling it.” Niall says. “Smells like any other regular person.”

“It’s because he likes her. You know how it is for us, we really like the way a person smells when we really like them. It proves the attraction.” Louis sits down on the coffee table in front of them.

“And I know she likes me back.” Harry says proudly.

“Yeah? How?” Niall inquires.

“Well, not only did she tell me I was cute, but she gets aroused around me all the time, especially today when I took her home. I could smell it. I’ve been trying to be careful and not act on anything, but I don’t think I can do that anymore.”

“No one ever said you couldn’t date.” Louis says. “You just need to be careful. You know how easily you lot can get attached.”

“I’m fully aware.” Harry rolls his eyes. “Don’t worry, I won’t be going out into the woods to fetch her a dead rabbit.”

//

Harry started coming by the bookstore even more after that. Y/N had told her friends what happened, that basically Harry was her knight in shining armor. She got excited every time he’d walk into the bookstore. Even if it wasn’t a shift where she was making coffee, she’d make his for him. A flirty friendship had started to form between the two of them. Sometimes he’d come at the end of her shift so he could walk her home, or they’d go grab a bite to eat. She wondered why the most they had done is hold hands, but she didn’t mind that he was taking things slow with her, it was actually a breath of fresh air. And the antics they’d get into in class…he’d pass her notes, actual notes! Sometimes they’d do homework together too. He was slowly swallowing her whole, and she didn’t mind one bit.

“Hello, love.” He says to her as her shift is ending.

“Hi, Harry.” She smiles. “How was your day?”

“Good, better now.” He sighs with a smile and she blushes.

“I just need to take care of some things in the back, and change.”

“Alright, I thought you could come over for a movie tonight. I could order us some food and we can just hang out.”

“I’d like that.” She smiles and goes into the backroom. About ten minutes later she comes out good to go. “Could we watch something with a Halloween vibe? Nothing too scary, of course.”

“Sure.” He loops his arm through hers and she giggles as they leave the bookstore. “You’re into Halloween and all that?”

“Into it? I love it! We decorated our flat yesterday with a ton of Halloween stuff. You’re not a fan?”

“No, I don’t mind it.” He shrugs. “Just think people can get carried away with their costumes sometimes.”

“I agree, some people ruin it for everyone else. I don’t like the scary aspects of it, like, you won’t catch me at a haunted house.”

“Oh, but I’d protect you, Y/N.” He smiles down at her and she blushes.

He gets her inside and he tells her to go up to his room, and to get comfortable. Louis always preferred if they hung out that Harry brought her over, so she was no stranger to their place now. He grabs some menus from the kitchen and meets her upstairs.

“What are you in the mood for?” He asks her. “Chinese, Italian…?” He furrows his brows at the menus as he looks over his options.

“You pick, I’m fine with whatever.” She says.

“Chinese then, do you like dumplings and stuff like that?”

“Yup.”

“Brilliant.” He sits down next to her and grabs his laptop so he can order everything online. He sets it on his desk, and turns his TV on. He sits up against his headboard and so does she. “Here.” He hands her the remote. “You can pick the movie, babe.”

Her heart fluttered every time he called her that. It was just like any other term of endearment, but she still really liked it.

“Hmm…” She flips on Netflix to look over her options. “Oh! What about Teen Wolf, the old one with Michael J. Fox?”

“Uh, that’s a little unrealistic, don’t you think?”

“Well…duh, it’s about a werewolf.” She scoffs. “The whole thing is unrealistic.”

“I just mean, um, oh, look…Hocus Pocus, now that’s a classic.”

“You’re absolutely right. Way better choice.” She hits play and he sighs with relief. “Besides, the show Teen Wolf is way better. I mean, the first two to three seasons were good, and then it just got really bad, but it was still fun.”

“Are you, like, a wolf fanatic or something?”

“No.” She laughs. “It was on MTV when I was younger and it was fun to watch.” She shrugs and looks up at him. “Don’t worry, I think you’re much cuter than the actors on the show.”

“You do, huh?” He puts an arm around her and she cozies up to him. “Good to know.”

She lets her arm fall on his waist as she gets comfortable, and her leg even goes over one of his. It was a proper Netflix & Chill and neither of them had any problem with it. About thirty minutes into the movie, there’s a knock on the door downstairs.

“That’s our food, I’ll be right back.” He pauses the movie and gets up.

“Do you wanna eat downstairs? I’d feel bad about making a mess up here.”

“Don’t be silly, it’s fine.” He chuckles and goes downstairs. He returns shortly with the food. “Alright, I got dumplings, sushi, egg rolls, rice, noodles, and veggies.”

“It smells so good.” She licks her lips and opens the sushi first, popping a piece into her mouth. “Which one’s your favorite?”

“The dumplings.” He mutters as he bites into one.

Eating a dumpling satisfied the more primal side of Harry. It was plump and juicy, like a small animal that he might be ravenous for on a full moon while he’s shifted.

“I like them a lot too.” She takes one and bites into it. She grabs a napkin to dab the corners of her mouth. “Mm, so good.”

“Want some water?”

“Please.”

He grabs her a bottle from the case he keeps in his closet. They eat a bit more while watching the movie, and then Harry puts everything away downstairs so they can go back to cuddling. He pops a piece of gum into his mouth, and offers her some as well.

“We’re gonna have a Halloween party, by the way.” She says to him.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm, would you maybe wanna come? Niall and Louis can come too.”

“We usually lay low on Halloween…lot of freaks come out that night, you know?”

“Please?” She pouts. “I have a really cute costume planned, and I want you to see it.”

“What is it?” He blushes.

“I can’t give it away, then you won’t be surprised.” She boops his nose and he smiles.

“I’ll…I’ll ask them to see if they wanna go.”

“Great.” In a bold move she kisses his cheek. His eyes widen as he looks at her.

“C’mere.” He says, and pulls her onto his lap. She straddles him and wraps her arms around his neck. “I like you a lot, you know that, right?” He tucks some hair behind her ear.

“I think so.” She says shyly. “I like you a lot too, Harry.”

“Can I kiss you?”

She nods yes, and he cups her cheek with one of his hands while the other grips her hip. He presses his lips to hers, and her eyes flutter closed. Her hands slide into his hair and he tugs her closer. His fingers dig into the skin between her shirt and pants. Their lips move along each other’s. Her lips were so incredibly soft, he just want to-

“Mmph!” She grunts as he bites down on her bottom lip and sucks on it.

Harry had learned a lot of restraint over the years, so he didn’t need to worry about his teeth growing sharper or his nails growing longer, or even shifting slightly. He just needed to keep his breathing steady. She seems to like what he’s doing because she doesn’t tell him to stop. In fact, she rolls her hips down on his and tugs at his hair harder. She opens her mouth slightly, and he takes it as a signal that he can lick into her. His tongue swirls around hers, and she moans again. Her breasts press against his chest, and she continues to grind against him.

She tugs his head back to get some air and she moves to kiss on his neck. She mouths and licks over the area just under his earlobe, and his hands squeeze at her hips.

“Y/N.” He breathes. “It’s getting late, do you wanna spend the night?” She pauses her actions and nods yes against his neck, causing him to chuckle.

“What, um…” She moves to look at him. “What do you feel like doing? Do you wanna stop?”

“Do you?”

“N-no, but I feel like we should. I really do like you, and I don’t wanna mess anything up by moving too fast.”

“I feel the same way.” He smiles. “Want something of mine to wear to sleep?”

“Yeah.” She smiles. He pecks her lips again before she moves off him.

Harry grabs her a tee shirt and a pair of boxers. He also gets her a spare tooth brush, and off to the bathroom she goes. She gasps when she sees Louis waiting in the hallway when she’s done.

“Spending the night, pet?” He asks her.

“Y-yeah, is that alright?”

“Course it is.” He smiles. “You know you’re welcome here.”

“Thanks, well, goodnight.” She smiles and makes her way back to Harry’s room.

“I knew you’d look cute in my clothes, but wow.” He blushes.

“Oh.” She blushes too. “Thanks.” She looks him up and down. “You’re gonna wear sweats to bed?”

“I didn’t wanna make you uncomfortable.” He rubs the back of his neck.

“Don’t be silly, you’ll sweat buckets if you stay like that. Sleep how you normally do.” She says as she slips into his bed.

“Can’t do that…”

“Why not?”

“Because I usually sleep naked.”

“M-maybe just your boxers?”

“You’d be okay with that?” She nods yes at him. “I’m just gonna go use the loo. I’ll be back.” Harry washes up quickly, and then turns the light off when he comes back in. He takes his clothes off, staying in his boxers, and then he gets into bed with Y/N. “Did you let the girls know you’re staying here?”

“Mhm.”

They both slide down and face each other. He slots a leg between hers and rubs at her side and back. Harry really liked being petted on, so he figured other people did too. He never got any complaints, anyways. She sighs slightly and moves closer to him. She nuzzles her face into his chest and she realizes it’s bare. It was pitch black in the room, so she couldn’t see any of his tattoos. He pets on her until she falls asleep. His eyes flutter closed, and he falls asleep holding her.

//

The next morning Y/N wakes up with an immense amount of pressure on her bladder. She was laying on her back, she never slept like that, and she couldn’t physically see Harry. She hears snoring from under the covers, so she pulls the blankets back to see Harry’s head in her lap, and his body wrapped around the rest of hers. It was a little bizarre, but not the weirdest way she had ever woken up with someone. She doesn’t want to startle him so she runs her fingers through his hair and scratches at his head. His hold on her thigh tightens and his eyes flutter open. He looks up at her dreamily, like a puppy, and then he flinches when he realizes his head is in her crotch.

“Jesus, I’m so sorry.” He says as he sits up and knuckles at his eyes. “I have zero idea how I ended up like that.” A lie, but he couldn’t very well tell her the truth.

“It’s okay! I just really need to pee.” She giggles and climbs over him to get up. “Be back in a second.”

Harry takes a deep, and gets dressed in some joggers and a sweatshirt as he waits for her. She comes back in, feeling much fresher, and smiles at him. Harry uses the bathroom next and walks in on her just getting her clothes back on.

“Do you mind if I keep the boxers?” She says as she zips up her jeans. “Men’s underwear is so much more comfortable.”

“Consider them yours.” He smiles and wraps his arms around her waist. She presses her hands to his chest. “I’m glad you stayed over. Can I make you breakfast?”

“I’d like that, but I have to get back to my place so I can shower before my shift in a couple of hours.” She bites her bottom lip. “But another time for sure.”

Harry nods, and walks her down the stairs to the front door. She kisses him goodbye, and he watches her walk away. He desperately wanted to go to her Halloween party, but he knew it would be tough convincing Louis.

“Hey.” Harry stands in Louis’ bedroom doorway.

“How was your night?”

“Good, Y/N just left.” Louis nods at that. “She invited us all to a party at the end of the month.” He mumbles.

“Oh, yeah? That was nice of her. When exactly?”

“Halloween.”

“Very funny.”

“C’mon, Lou, what better night of the year to blend in.”

“The hunters could be feeling the same exact way, Harry!”

“It’s not like we’d be party hopping.” Harry whines. “We could go, make an appearance, and then leave.”

“I think it’s a great idea.” Niall chimes in as he heard the conversation. “We could wear costumes that have masks or face coverings so we’re not as obvious.”

“What do you propose?” Louis asks. “The three fucking musketeers? The Justice League?”

“Well, we’d all look fabulous in spandex, so I’d be cool with that.” Harry smirks.

“No.” Louis shakes his head. “I’ll need to be able to see your faces. I’ll go as David Beckham.”

“Wait, you’re serious….we can go?!” Harry asks excitedly.

“We could use some fun.” Louis sighs. “And I know you really like this girl, and we’ve all started to trust her. She’s no threat. We can go for an hour, at the beginning of the night, and then we’re out of there.”

“Thank you!” Harry throws his arms around his friend. “I can’t wait to tell her.”

“Is she your girlfriend now?” Niall asks.

“I don’t know what we are. We only made out last night, I didn’t wanna take it too far in case I lost control. I didn’t think I would, but I could tell I was really fighting to keep my teeth from shifting. She smells so fucking good, I woke up with my head in her lap.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I feel really comfortable around her, you know?”

“Could you not be so stereotypical?” Louis smirks.

“Yeah, it’s literally puppy love.” Niall chuckles.

“Don’t make fun of me.” Harry pouts. “She doesn’t know that I know, but she sprinkles a little cinnamon into my coffee, literally giving me a treat. I’ll gladly be her puppy.”

//

Louis dresses as David Beckham, Niall dresses as a basketball player, and Harry dresses as Zorro, but without the mask, Louis wouldn’t let him. They all walk in, and plenty of people are there already. Harry scans the room and his jaw drops. Y/N was standing in front of a tapestry on the wall taking pictures with her roommates. The three of them were dressed like bunnies, classic 1960’s playboy bunnies. His mouth waters, she looked good enough to eat.

“How nice of her to dress as your favorite snack.” Louis nudges him. “Have fun.”

Y/N giggles as she looks at that photos. She turns in Harry’s direction and beams at him. They make their way to each other through the crowd of people.

“You made it!” She throws her arms around his neck and kisses his cheek, leaving a nice, red lipstick mark behind. “You look so hot like this.” She looks him up and down. “Doesn’t Zorro wear a mask?”

“Lou wanted to be able to find me easily.” He smiles nervously. “And…if anyone looks hot it’s you, I…this is the last thing I’d expect you to be wearing.”

“They were on sale at the costume store.” She blushes. “And the accessories were easy enough to find. We figured it would be fine to dress a little skimpier since we’re not leaving here.”

He circles around her, like he was checking out his prey, and he nearly loses it at the sight of the cotton tail at the base of her spine, never mind how perfect her ass looks with the nylons she’s wearing. He thinks of the thong she must be wearing.

“You’re not even revealing that much.” He clears his throat. “Still plenty left to the imagination.”

“Mm, well…” She tugs at the open collar of his shirt. “Hopefully not for long.” She says against his lips and then backs away. She smirks and walks away from him as his mouth falls open. He was a little shocked she’d deprive him of a kiss.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He walks after her.

“I need to mingle with all my guests, and be a good hostess, don’t I?” She raises an eyebrow at him. “Go on and have something to drink, Zorro.” She winks at him.

“Sure thing, Bunny Rabbit.”

She giggles and continues to walk away from him. Harry didn’t want to seem clingy, so he lets her go about the party, being a good little hostess with her roommates. He, Niall, and Louis all sip on the same drink to keep up appearances. Alcohol and drugs had zero effect on them, which at times was extremely annoying, but for the most part it was fine. They needed to keep their wits about them anyways. Y/N eventually finds her way to Harry, keeping her arm snaked around his waist. She felt special to have him as her guest. He was so fucking handsome, and she knew there were people looking at him, wishing they were the ones standing with him. His arm was draped around her shoulders, his thumb rubbing at her bare shoulder. She almost wanted to pull him upstairs, but she wasn’t the type to do that at a party. No, it could wait until everyone left, when they’d have a little more privacy.

“Hey.” She says to him, and he looks down at her. “I need to go use the ladies room, could you hold onto my drink?”

“Course, love.” He kisses her temple and off she goes with her heart fluttering.

After she’s done in the bathroom, which takes ten fucking minutes because the costume was impossible to get on and off, she makes her way through the party. She gets the distinctive whiff of weed coming from outside. She groans, and steps out and sees a group of people passing a blunt around.

“Guys, not to be a party pooper, but you can’t do that here…”

The group makes an annoyed noise, but they listen to her. Suddenly, she’s alone outside, and she realizes how fucking cold it was. She shivers, and moves to go back inside…

//

“Talia, have you seen Y/N?” Harry asks her. “She went to the bathroom twenty minutes ago, but she’s not in there now.”

“How do you know?” Talia slurs.

“Because Niall just fucked some girl in the bathroom, that’s how I know.” Harry says bluntly.

“Oh, then I don’t know.” She shrugs. “Maybe she went up to her room. You can go check if you want, she’s been dying to get you alone in there all night.”

“She has?” He perks up.

“Duh.” She rolls her eyes. “She’s crazy about you, mate.” She walks away from him.

Concern washes over his face because he knows she’s not in the building. He’d be able to feel her heart, he’d be able to smell her, but he can’t. He finds a freshly fucked Niall, and Louis and tugs them both into a corner.

“I think something’s happened to Y/N.”

“What do you mean?” Louis says.

“She’s not here anymore. She wouldn’t have just left without telling me, she had me hold her drink…she clearly thought she was coming right back.”

“I can feel how worried you are.” Niall sighs. “Do you think she might have gone outside for any reason?”

“No idea, but we could check it out.” Harry says, and they all make their way through the flat, and out the back door. All of their eyes glow red so they can see outside better. Harry takes a whiff, and his head snaps to the left. “Over there, there’s something…an object…” He runs towards it and the boys follow. It was one of he her heels. “Oh, no.” He picks it up and nearly wants to cry.

“Don’t worry, Harry, we’ll find her.” Louis takes the shoe and sniffs it to get her scent, as does Niall. “Hunters may have taken her to get to you, so we need to be smart about this. No fucking around, and no full shifting. Claws and fangs at best.”

“I don’t understand hunters.” Niall says. “If they just got to know us they’d see we’re not dangerous in the slightest.”

“We used to be.” Harry says. “But you can brush up on your history later, right now there’s a girl in the woods dressed like a bunny that we need to go rescue. Poor thing’s probably freezing.”

//

There Y/N was, cold, annoyed, and tied to a tree. She had tried to scream, but someone put their hand over her mouth. They dragged her out into the woods, and she lost one of her shoes. They were awfully expensive too. There were a few people with guns standing near her, and two others pacing around. She had zero idea what they wanted with her. She had cried out of fear, but she was quiet now.

“C-could I at least have a sweater or a blanket? F-fucking freezing out here.” She stutters through her sentence. “Not exactly dr-dressed for this sort of thing.”

“Be quiet, or we’ll gag you.” A man with a gruff voice says to her.

“G-gonna have to buy me d-dinner first if you wanna do that.” She musters up the energy to smirk, and a woman comes over to her with duct tape. She slaps it over her mouth.

“There.” The woman says. “Keep warm with that.”

Y/N tries wiggling her toes and fingers to keep her circulation going. It was only a matter of time until hypothermia would kick in, and she knew that.

“Where are they, hm? Bumbling idiots.” A man says to the woman.

“Maybe Harry doesn’t care about the bitch as much as we thought.” The woman shrugs.

Harry growls lowly when he hears that. He, Louis, and Niall had found the spot the hunters were keeping Y/N easily.

“How many total?” Harry asks.

“Ten.” Louis says. “Keep your emotions at bay. They may be willing to kill, but we can’t do that. Niall and I will knock out as many as we can, and then call for backup. You focus on getting Y/N out of there. Bring her back to our place, and give her something to fall asleep. Then in the morning tell her she was drunk and had a bad dream.”

Harry nods. All of their teeth and claws were out, but nothing more. He knew he had to look scary like this, but he couldn’t worry about it right now. The girl who he was seriously falling for was tied to a fucking tree. Her shoe fell off, but her bunny ears had managed to stay on, although they were a little dented now. The three take a deep breath, and jump up nimbly into the trees. Harry slips down the tree she’s tied to, and cuts through the ropes easily with his claws.

She looks down at herself as she feels the ropes loosen, but she stays put not wanting to bring attention to herself. Y/N sees two figures moves swiftly, knocking the various people around her over. They evade the bullets being shot at them (the guns have silencers). She has no idea what’s happening. The men around her suddenly fall, and she gasps. A figure with a broad back picks them up effortlessly and tosses them into a pile of other people. He turns to look at Y/N and her eyes widen.

“I’ll explain everything later, I promise.” His voice was deeper, and she felt sedated. “Need to get you out of here, trust me?” She nods quickly, and he wastes no time picking her up bridal style, he claws digging into the meat of her thigh, and he jumps up in the trees.

She felt like she was on a roller coaster ride as she clings to him. She didn’t know a person could move so fast, but clearly Harry wasn’t an ordinary person. He was a thing she had only seen on TV or read myths about. Once he gets her inside his flat, he retracts his fangs and claws, and his eyes turn green once more. He carries her up to his bathroom and sets her down on the sink counter.

“This is probably gonna hurt.” He says as he starts to tug on the tape covering her mouth. She nods and closes her eyes. She squeaks out a noise as he rips it off. “Took it like a champ, babe.” He rubs his hands up and down her arms and shoulders.

“Been getting my lip waxed for years, that was nothing.” She breathes.

He looks her up and down. Her nylons were all ripped up, and she had dirt all over her. Did they fucking drag her? He growls angrily just thinking about it.

“I found your other shoe.” He takes it out of his pocket, and she nearly melts. “Did they hurt you?”

“They dragged me through the woods, and slammed me against the tree when they tied me up.” She pouts. “Almost knocked the wind out of me, but I’m okay.”

“I can make you feel better.” He cups her cheek. “But I need to draw you a bath in order to do it. You’re freezing anyways, so it’s a good idea all around.” He moves to turn the water on, and he grabs some bottles from the linen closet.

“Harry…”

“Yeah?” He doesn’t look at her as he sprinkles whatever’s in the bottles into the warm water.

“Who were they? What did they want with you?”

“They either wanted to kill me, or take me as a prisoner.” He turns to look at her. He takes his jacket and shirt off, and her eyes widen. “M’not getting in with you, I just need to mix it all together once the tub’s full, and I don’t wanna get my clothes soaked.” He defends himself.

“No, I just…you have so many tattoos. I didn’t notice it the other night when we slept.”

“It’s really not a lot, Lou has way more.” He bends down to take her other heel off, and he puts the shoes together neatly on the floor. He stands back up and grabs at the bunny ears. “You’ll wear these again for me sometime, yeah? Be a shame if you didn’t.” She nods at him and he sets them down on the counter. “Good, bunnies are my favorite.”

“Your favorite what?”

“Snack.” He says as he grips her hips, helping her hop off the counter.

“Right.” She swallows, and her eyes rim with tears.

“What’s wrong?” He asks as he turns the water off in the tub and starts mixing everything.

“Are…are you going to kill me?”

“Now, why would I offer to make you feel better and then turn around and kill you?”

“I don’t know! Nothing’s exactly clear, Harry!”

“Okay, be cool, yeah?” He stands up straight. “There’s no reason to freak out.”

“No reason to freak out?! I was just taken from my own home, tied to a fucking tree, and then you come and you have these big teeth and these talons, and…shit, I need to text my roommates and let them know I’m okay. Or, maybe that I’m not okay…”

“They’re claws, not talons. I’m not a bloody chicken.”

“What are you then, hm?” She puts her hands on her hips.

“I’m a person, same as you.”

“My eyes don’t glow red, Harry.”

“They could, maybe you’re just not trying hard enough.” She makes an exasperated noise at him, and motions that she’s going to leave. “Okay, okay…I…I’m a werewolf. I was born this way, I wasn’t turned, but a lot of us these days are. The hunters want me because I’m a healer, and I come from a family of healers. They must have caught wind that I go to school here, and they must have noticed that we’ve been hanging out so…to get to me they took you. I feel absolutely terrible about it because the last thing I would ever want to do is put you in any danger. It’s why I barely spoke to you last year. I didn’t want you getting dragged into all this, and here you are now…literally being dragged into it.” He huffs.

“Great, so now I can add bestiality to the list of things that are wrong with me.” She shakes her head, more so saying it to herself. She looks at him. “I’m in a lot of pain, so I’m going to disregard a lot of what you just said, I’m going to not ask any more questions, and I’m going to chalk this up to being an extremely elaborate Halloween prank or something.”

“It’s not a prank, Y/N. I know it’s a lot to take in, I’m so sorry.” He shakes his head. “And being with a werewolf doesn’t make you into bestiality.” He chuckles softly. “You saw me out there, I didn’t grow any extra hair, my ears didn’t get all long and pointy, and I’m pretty sure you’re the only one with a tail on tonight. It’s not like what you think, we blend in really easily. I can shift so I can look like what you may have seen, but it’s rather uncomfortable and unnecessary.” He runs a hand through his hair. “Are you scared?”

“Yes.”

“Of me?”

“No.” He sighs with relief at that. “I’m scared that they’re going to take me again.”

“They won’t.”

“How do you know?”

“Because…we have ways of protecting ourselves and others. I have something I can give you to keep you safe.”

“Like what?”

“I…I have to bite off one of my claws, and put it on chain for you to wear.” She grimaces at him. “Don’t worry, I’ll do it in the morning, and it’ll grow back. I can even paint it a nice color, I have some nail polish.”

“Wonderful.”

“C’mon, the bath is gonna get cold. I’ll step out so you can get in, and-“

“I want you to stay in here with me.”

“I’ll come back, I just wanna give you some privacy.”

“I need you to unzip the back of this stupid thing for me first.”

She turns around and sighs heavily. She looks at herself in the mirror, and is shocked at how fucked up she looks. Her mascara had run down her face, and her bunny nose and whiskers that she painted on had smeared.

“Do…do you have any face-cloths?” She mumbles.

“Yeah, babe.”

He steps over to the linen closet after unzipping her. He hands her a blue cloth and steps out of the bathroom. He hears the front door open and close, and races downstairs to Louis and Niall.

“Cleaned up and taken care of.” Niall says. “I need a shower.”

“Y/N’s getting into the tub. I ran her a bubble bath so I could heal her.”

“I told you to put her to sleep.” Louis grits his teeth. “I really don’t like it when you don’t listen, Harry.”

“M’sorry, she…she just looked so scared, and I couldn’t lie to her. We can talk to her in morning, can’t we? It’s not like she’s the first regular person to get involved with a werewolf.”

“True, but you should really have ran this by your mum first. She’s not gonna be happy.” Louis says.

“I’ll deal with her in the morning too. Let me go tend to my bunny, yeah?”

He goes back upstairs, and taps on the door before entering. She was in the water, covered by the bubbles. She had pulled her hair up into a bun on the top of her head. He sits down on the toilet and faces her.

“I need to stick my hand in.”

“Excuse me?” Her eyebrows raise at him.

“To make what I put in work, I have to stick my hand in the water.”

“Alright.”

He leans forward, and dips his hand into the warm water. His eyes glow red, and she feels every cut and bruise on her body disappear. She feels better than she had before the night even started.

“Holy shit.” She breathes as he takes his hand out of the water.

“How’s the temperature, still warm enough?”

“Yeah…it’s…it’s perfect.” He nods at her and she sighs heavily. “So, you could literally rip me to shreds, and you’re choosing not to?”

“Why is it your first instinct that I’m going to kill you? It’s what the hunters think too, and it’s just not the case, love. Especially with my breed. Healers don’t like hurting others, even in defense. We’re too empathetic. I wanna keep you safe more than anything.”

“Are there others? Obviously Niall and Louis, but, like, in our classes?”

“Not that I know of. The three of us stick together because we’re all in the same large pack. Our three families came together for safety. Other packs just tend to leave others alone, you know?”

“No, I don’t know.” She snaps.

“I never meant to put you in danger, Y/N.”

“Do you have a towel for me, I’d like to get out now.”

He sighs and gets up. He grabs her a fresh towel, and hands it to her. He turns around so she can stand and wrap it around herself. She steps out of the tub and looks up at him. She groans and presses her forehead into his chest.

“I can feel how conflicted you are.” He says as he wraps his arms around her.

“Must be nice to just sense how someone’s feeling.” She scoffs as she nuzzles into him. A thought occurs to her and she looks up at him. “Is that why you curled up with me the way you did that night? Like…are you more dog than person when you’re sleeping?”

“Wolf, I’m not a fucking dog. And…I don’t really know. Sometimes we can do that when we feel really safe with someone.”

“You feel safe with me?” Her eyes widen.

“Well…yeah. And you always smell so good.” He mutters as his hands splay on her back, pulling her closer to him.

“I…I think you smell good too.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, but I can never quite put my finger on what cologne you’re wearing.”

“I don’t wear cologne.”

“What?!”

“It would fuck with my natural scent too much. I have to wear a scentless deodorant even.”

“So…you just naturally smell good?”

“I…” He thinks for a moment. He had read about this before, and from what Louis and Niall said about not being able to smell anything particularly special about her, some things were starting to connect. “Let’s go to my room, Niall said he needed to shower.”

She nods, and he grabs all of her clothes as they make their way down the hall. She sits down on his bed, after he sets her things down on his desk. Her eyes scan over the broadness of his back, and how his muscles flex while he digs through his dresser. She clamps her legs together after shaking her hair out of its bun. He stands up straight after getting a whiff of her. She was turned on? He turns to look at her.

“What?”

“Nothing, here, you can wear these.” He tosses her some boxers and a shirt.

“What if I wanna be like you and sleep naked?”

“Y/N, it’s late and-“

“That bath gave me a second wind.”

Harry wasn’t doing anything in particular, but healers had a way of bringing out confidence and truths out in others. Especially when they seemed to be this connected. They could be soulmates for all he knows, but he doesn’t want to say that and scare her off.

She stands up and walks towards him, reaching around for her bunny ears, and putting them on. She smirks at as he swallows.

“You’re really okay with all of this?” He puts his hands on her shoulders.

“I know I wanna be with you. Maybe I shouldn’t want that, but I do. I…I don’t think I could stay away from you even if I wanted to.”

“I feel the same way.”

“Is…is someone going to tell us we can’t see each other anymore?”

“No.” He scoffs. “I’m like a prince, no one tells me who I can and can’t see.”

“Good, because…” She presses her hands to his chest and lets her towel fall. “I got all dressed up tonight because I wanted to look cute for you, and I’m really sad it all went to waste.”

“It didn’t.”

He cups her cheeks and presses his lips to hers in a searing kiss. He backs her up against his bed, and lays her down. He gets his pants off, and climbs on top of her. . She wraps her legs around his waist and he grinds his clothed dick against her. She groans and scratches her nails down his back. He kisses down her body, and looks up at her to make sure it’s alright before he dives in. She nods frantically, and he goes for it. He licks all around her folds, essentially making out with her other lips, and then he sucks on her clit. Her hands fly to his hair, and she tugs harshly. He moans against her, and her mouth falls open. Her hips buck up towards his mouth. He thought she tasted so fucking good. He was nose deep, moving his face from side to side, and she loses it. He licks her clean and pops his head up.

“Holy shit.” She breathes. He chuckles and gets his boxers off. He moves to sit up against the headboard. His tip was leaking for her. “Are…are you that big because of the wolf thing, or…?”

“Nah, that’s just good genetics, love.” He grins. “C’mere, bunny rabbit, come bounce on my cock for me.” Her mouth falls open and does as he says quickly. She swings her leg over his lap, and lines him up with her. “Wait, uh, do you, like, want me to use a condom, or-“

“M’on the pill, it’s fine.” She smiles at him and he nods. “Thanks for asking, though.” The head of his cock pushes inside her and she bites down on his shoulder as she takes him deeper, inch by inch. She lets out a puff of air once he’s all the way. She looks up at him with big eyes. “Will you help me?”

He bites down on her bottom lip as he moves her up and down on his hard dick. She was so snug around him, he was starting to lose control a little. His claws grow and he scratches at her love handles. She gasps into his mouth.

“Shit, sorry, I-“

“No, it feels good, it’s okay.” She smiles and moves around in a circle on him.

“Here I was thinking you were this innocent little thing.” He smirks and runs his nails down her back. Her head rolls backwards and he notices goosebumps raise on her skin.

“I usually am, but you’re bringing something out of me.”

“Do you feel good?” He asks as he nibbles on her neck.

“Yeah, really good.” She bounces faster up and down on him. “I’ve wanted this for a while.”

“Me too.”

He slots his mouth over hers, and licks into her. She moans into him. This is exactly what they both needed right now. He retracts his claws and before she has a second to protest he snakes a hand between them to rub her clit.

“Oh!” She gasps.

“Gonna make you come again, baby.”

She moans out as she feels it bubbling in her stomach.

“You can come inside me if you want to.”

“Do you want me to?”

“Yeah, I really wanna feel it.”

He nods and rubs her faster. She cries out into his neck, and then he bursts inside her. He fills her to the brim, and it has her panting. He kisses her tenderly as she whimpers. He takes the bunny ears off her and tosses them elsewhere before carefully lifting her off of him. He lays her down, and grabs the towel she was using earlier to clean her up.

“Thank you, that’s so sweet.” She says tiredly.

“It’s the least I could, I made a fucking mess inside you.” He chuckles. “There we are, all clean.” He tosses the towel in his hamper and knees back onto the bed. She rolls over onto his chest as he turns the lights off.

“That was really great.” She nuzzles into his neck. “I’ve never felt so confident with someone before.”

“I enjoyed it too.”

“So, do you get, like, animal instincts or urges sometimes? Like, do you ever randomly chase after squirrels, what am I dealing with here?”

“No.” He laughs. “Nothing like that, although I really enjoy getting my head scratched, like, behind my ears like a dog would.” He mumbles the part about the dog. “The only time I would chase after another animal is I’ve fully transformed, and I only do that on full moons. It’s liberating to just run free like that.”

“Will you be able to tell when I’m getting my period, or if I’m on it?”

“Yeah. I have a keen sense of smell. My hearing’s enhanced too.”

“Oh my god.” She sits up a little. “So did they just hear everything?”

“Probably, unless they’re asleep already.” He shrugs. “It’s not a big deal, no need to be embarrassed, alright?”

“Are…are you gonna have to transfer schools since the hunters know you’re here?”

“We shouldn’t need to. We’ll need to see how many of them are here and what not. My mum might send reinforcements if need be. Don’t worry, I wouldn’t have fucked you if I thought I wasn’t going to be able to stay.”

“Okay.” She settles back down and he pulls the blankets over them.

“Do you mind if I sort burrow under the blankets again? I could just rest my head on your stomach.”

“Sure.” She smiles and he pecks her lips. He shifts under the blankets, and rests his head just above one of her hips. She mindlessly scratches at his head and he sighs. “Comfy?” She giggles.

“Very.”

//

The next morning Y/N sits comfortably in Harry’s sweats in the kitchen while Niall makes her breakfast. Harry and Louis were on a video call with Anne and Gemma.

“Does it bother you that they’re having you babysit me?” She asks him as he sets a bowl of fruit in front of her. He was making pancakes as well.

“Not at all, love. The conversation doesn’t really concern me. Harry’s talking to his family, and Louis is a pack leader so it makes sense for him to be in on the chat.” He sets a short stack in front of her.

“Thank you.”

“So…” He drums his fingers on the kitchen island. “You know everything?”

“I wouldn’t say everything, but I know the three of you are…a little special.”

“And you’re not scared?”

“The three of you rushed into the woods to save me. I’m more scared of the people who dragged me out with guns on their hips.” They hear a noise from upstairs that sounds like a puppy just got kicked. “Jesus, what was that?”

“Oh…Harry must’ve just ripped out one of his claws.” Niall gives her a soft smile and digs into his own pancakes.

“What will me wearing it do, exactly?”

“Alright, so basically, we’ve got this stuff all around the house that makes it so we can’t be tracked. I can’t really explain it, it’s outside my expertise. You may notice we all smoke a lot of cigarettes?” She nods at him. “They’re not normal cigarettes, they have the same stuff in them. It would kill you if you tried in inhale one, so we give normal people pieces of ourselves and it has the same effect. You’ll need to wear it all the time.”

“It won’t just decompose?”

“No, he has something to put on it so it won’t. It’ll sort of look like a shark tooth or something to the untrained eye.”

Harry and Louis come downstairs. Harry’s face is flushed, and he comes around behind Y/N to clasp the chain with his claw on it.

“I panted it black.” He mutters.

“Are you alright?” She asks as he sits down next to her.

“Yeah, it already grew back, see?” He holds his hand up for her.

“We’ve been given the greenlight from Anne, Harry’s mum.” Louis says as he pops a blueberry into his mouth. “But you need to be sworn to secrecy. You can’t say anything, Y/N.”

“I understand.”

“Do you? Because we’re trying to live normal lives, and-“

“She’s not going to say anything!” Harry slams his hands down on the island. “We literally just spoke with my mother about this for a bloody hour! I trust her, there’s nothing more to it than that!” His fangs peak out, and Louis growls at him.

“Do I need to remind you that male healers are extremely gullible? Or did your mother not drive that point home enough for you up there?”

“I-“

“H-Harry…” She puts her hand on his back and he looks at her. Her heart was racing.

“Oh, baby, we’re scaring you.” His fangs retract and he takes her hand in his. “I’m sorry, we’ll cool it.”

“You’ll need to stay here the rest of the weekend.” Louis says. “It may not be safe for you at your flat.”

“What about roommates.”

“I’m gonna go check on them.” Niall says. “I have a class with Georgie, shouldn’t be too weird.”

“Y/N, have you ever taken any self-defense classes or anything?” Louis asks her.

“No.” The boys all share a look. “Should I?”

“Harry will take you to the boxing gym that he goes to and show you some ways to defend yourself. You should be safe, but you can never be too careful.”

She looks at Harry and smirks at him.

“Wanna get into the ring with me?” She giggles and he giggles too. Louis sighs heavily rolls his eyes.

“I’m gonna take my breakfast to my room.” He grumbles and leaves.

//

Harry started going to the bookstore twice as often, setting up shop there for most of Y/N’s shift. If he could have curled up in her lap and sat on top of her in calculus he would have. Whenever he’d go over to Y/N’s place, he was always laying on top of her. Her hands were in his hair, and sometimes his foot would start shaking if she scratched him just right. He was in heaven. Her roommates, however, saw an extremely clingy and possessive guy taking up all of her time. So, they decide to talk to her about it.

“Guys, I can’t talk long. Harry’s gonna be here soon.” Y/N says as she packs her overnight bag.

“We know, it’s just…we’re a little concerned.” Talia says.

“With what?”

“He literally lives up your asshole.” Georgie says.

“He’s…clingy, but it’s not a bad thing. He gives me my space when I need it.”

“You told him to go home one night and I swear to god I heard him whimper, Y/N, whimper!” Talia says. “Also….he likes to call you ‘bunny’, and I I’m pretty sure that’s a weird BDSM nickname. Like, does he make you wear a collar or some shit, or-“

“Okay.” Y/N laughs. “You are so far off. He calls me bunny because I was dressed like one for Halloween, and sometimes I wear the ears when we have sex, but that’s the extent of it.”

It wasn’t the extent of it, but her friends didn’t need to know when they were feeling especially naughty, they would play a game of big bad wolf. Y/N had hot glues the bunny tail from her costume to a pair of lace panties, and she’d wear a lace bra, and Harry would hide somewhere in his room, and he pop out with his glowing red eyes, his fangs, and his claws. He wouldn’t scare her, it turned her on to see him so forceful. And then…once he “caught” her, she was in charge. She’d ride his dick, and tell him to be good for her while she squeezed and tugged at his curls.

“So, you’re both just a little kinky, but he’s not making you do anything you don’t wanna do, right?” Georgie says.

“Exactly.” Y/N smiles. “Look, I love you guys. I appreciate you looking out for me, I really do. I promise, if anything felt wrong with him I would tell you. We’re in a perfectly healthy relationship.” There’s a knock downstairs, and she slings her bag over her shoulder after getting her jacket on. “That’s him, I have to go.”

She goes downstairs, and opens the front door. She throws her arms around his neck and kisses him before he takes his bag for her. He laces his fingers through her hand.

“How’s my little angel baby?” He asks her and it makes her giggle.

“Good, how are you?”

“Good.” He nods. “Sorry I couldn’t be there during your shift today, I was a little busy with the boys.”

“Oh, it’s no problem. I don’t expect you to be there all the time.”

He gets her into his place, and he can’t stop grinning. She gasps when she sees a folding table set up in the living room, a nice tablecloth on it, and delicious food piled high.

“What is all this?” She says as she walks over to the table. Niall and Louis come out of the kitchen with biscuits and wine.

“You celebrate Thanksgiving right? Not like you can easily go home for that, so we cooked.” Harry says. “We looked up what all the best stuff is.”

“You…you did all of this for me?” They look at each other like they’re the only two people in the room.

“Well…yeah.” He takes her hands in his. “I…I love you, Y/N.”

“Oh, Harry, I love you too!” She throws her arms around him and slots her mouth over his. He groans into his kiss and pulls her closer.

“Ahem.” Niall says. “We’ve got hot food here…so…”

“Right.” Harry clears his throat and steps back from Y/N. “Let’s eat, yeah?”

Everyone enjoys the meal. Y/N giggles as they boys tear into the turkey and pretty much obliterate it. Usually they all had manners, but she thinks seeing the turkey ignited something primal in them. She eats until she’s the happy kind of full, and then she helps clean up. After cuddling on the couch (and making sure to go to the bathroom), Harry and Y/N go up to his room.

“I can’t believe you did all of that for me.” She pouts at him as she sits on his bed. He kneels in front of her and rubs his hands up and down on her thighs.

“Do you wanna do something for me?”

“Anything.”

He grins and pecks her lips as he stands up. He goes into his dresser and grabs a few things, keeping them behind his back.

“I’ve been sort of preparing myself all week for this, and I feel really close to you. These last couple of months have been incredible, and we love each other so…I was wondering how you’d feel about topping me.”

“Harry, I top you all the time.” She giggles.

“No, I mean, like…” He takes a strap and a bottle of lube out from behind his back.

“Oh!” She gasps. “Oh my god…you’ve been putting that up your ass all week?”

“No, I used a butt plug, and I got all cleaned out. Wanna give it a try, bunny?”

“Will you fuck me first?”

“Yes.”

She smiles and nods at him. He eagerly gets his clothes off, and he helps her get out of is.

“I just…l don’t wanna lick you down there like you’ve done to me, is that okay? I’ll use my fingers, but I don’t wanna stick my tongue up your ass.” She says as he kisses on her neck.

“Yeah, that’s fine. It’s why I got so much lube.” He smirks at her. “But you have no problem with me doing it to you, that’s cute.”

“That’s because your tongue works all kinds of magic.”

He growls at her and kisses down her body, getting between her legs. He sucks on her clit while he fingers her, knuckle deep. He throws her legs over his shoulders and relentlessly fucks her with his fingers. She was a heaving mess underneath him. She comes around him, squeezing tightly around his fingers. He takes them out of her and sucks them into his mouth. He takes her hand and sucks two of her fingers into his mouth. She groans watching him.

“Okay, I wanna fuck you now.” She says.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” She bites her bottom lip. “I’m really into it now. I wanna make you feel good.”

He kisses her quickly before grabbing the strap and the lube. He helps her into it, and she gets the lube on her fingers. He lays on his back with his legs spread for her. He had trimmed everything for her, which she greatly appreciated. Harry didn’t always manscape, not that she minded, but he clearly wanted to make things as comfortable as possible for her. She swirls her fingers around his hole and he spreads further apart for her.

“Wish I could have seen you with the butt plug in.” She grunts as she fingers him easily.

“I’ll happily wear it for you any time you want.”

“What made you wanna do this with me?” She asks as he gets the dildo attached to the strap lubed up.

“I’ve always wanted to try it, but I’ve never trusted someone enough.”

“God.” She breathes. “That is so sweet. Okay, I’m gonna start. Make sure to tell me if it hurts or something.”

“I will, go ahead.” He holds his legs back for her and she slowly pushes inside him. He tries to keep his breathing steady as she keeps going. Once she’s all the way in she waits for his signal. “You can move.” He grunts.

She slowly moves out, and then back in. She puts more lube on the dildo to add to his comfort, and then continues. Eventually she’s able to get a pace going, and she wraps her hand around his twitching, hard cock. His head falls back into his pillows and his mouth hangs open.

“Oh! Shit, do that again.” He groans. “Think you hit my g-spot.”

“Here?” She thrusts into him again and his eyes roll back into his head. She bites her bottom lip and she hits the spot over and over while pumping him silly with her hand.

“Feels so fucking good, Y/N.” He was starting to pant. “Will you sit on my face when we’re done? I wanna fuck you with my tongue.”

“Y-yeah, we can do whatever you want.” Her legs were shaking. She was extremely turned on seeing him like this.

“Fuck, I’m gonna come, babe!”

She gives him one last good push while he comes into her hand. Some of his gets onto his lower tummy, but he doesn’t seem to care. She licks her palm clean of him, and he moans at the sight. She carefully pulls out of him and gets the strap off.

“Are you sure you wanna-“

“Get up here, now.” He growls at her, and his eyes flash red for a moment.

She didn’t dare fuck with him, so she crawls up his body, and he grips her hips harshly as he licks into her. She gasps, especially from the way he nibbles at her clit. She tugs at his hair as she starts riding his face. He moans against her, loving the way she tastes. She was dripping for him. No one had ever made her this wet before.

“H-Harry.” She moans and he presses her harder against him. “Fuck, oh my god, shit!” She comes on his tongue and he laps her up. He nips at her inner thigh before she gets off him. “W-wow, that was-“

“Wanna take a bath?” He asks, already getting up.

“Sure.” She shrugs. “How are you feeling?”

“Incredible, baby, you did such a good job. What about me? Was I good for you?”

“Yeah, Harry, you were really good.”

If his tail had been out he’d be wagging it. He grabs a couple of towels, and they head to the bathroom. Once the tub is full of bubbles and calming scents, they both get in. Harry sits in front of Y/N so he can rest his head on her shoulder, and so she can play with his hair.

“Are you going home for the holidays?” He asks her, turning slightly to make eye contact.

“Nope, can’t afford it. I just video chatted with my family last year, it was fine, why?”

“Well, how would you like to come to my house for Christmas? My family really wants to meet you, I want you to meet them too, of course.”

“I…I’d love to.”

“And you won’t be the only regular person there either, some of them choose not to be turned.”

“It’s nice everyone’s so cool about it.”

“Love is love.” He shrugs. “So, you really wanna come home with me?” He pouts up at her.

“Of course I do.” She squishes her nose to his. “Sounds like fun.”

“And we can travel a bit too, if you want.”

“I don’t care what we do, I’m just happy to spend time with you, Harry.”

He smiles and pecks her lips. After they get out they towel off, and go back into his room. They get cozy in his bed with his head laying on her chest.

“Do your parents know about me?” He asks as he fondles one of her breasts.

“Yes.” She giggles. “I told them I started seeing a very nice boy in my calculus class, and since my grades have been good they haven’t seemed to mind. They may come try to visit over winter break since it’s so long.”

“Would you let me meet them?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“I’d really wanna make a good impression.”

“I wanna make a good impression with your family too.” She whines slightly. “Your mom is this powerful matriarch.”

“Yeah, but she’s also like any other mum.” He kisses on her breast. “God, you are always as sweet as honey. I always wanna kiss you all over.”

“Mm, I like it when you kiss me all over.” She runs a hand through his hair.

“Your body is so perfect.”

“Harry.” She giggles. “No it’s not.”

“Sure it is. I love every little thing about it.”

“Thank you.” She leans forward to kiss his forehead. He yawns out and shakes his head. “Sleepy?”

“Yeah.”

She nods and reaches to turn the light off as he goes further under the covers to rest his head on her hip. It wasn’t the most conventional way to sleep, but he always made her feel safe, and he told her it made him feel safe to sleep like that. She wasn’t entirely sure what it meant to be in a relationship with a werewolf. It wasn’t too different from being in a relationship with a regular person, they just took more precautions than most. Sometimes being with Harry was like having a pet. He needed a lot of attention, and a lot of love, but it was okay, she had plenty of it to give him.  

[doberbutts]

Hey thank you for posting about gay/trans men’s experiences. It’s really interesting to see a whole other side of the lgbtq experience(I’m a queer cis female). Honestly it has made me realize that I have been guilty of saying all men except trans men, which is not great.

Yeah it's... really not.

There are a fair number of straight white men who have been victimized, attacked, assaulted... and they are just as deserving of a space to process their trauma and talk about how they have been negatively impacted, without people constantly going UMMMM SWEATIE....... YOUR PRIVILEGE at them.

And, besides that, by saying 'all men..... except trans men' you are effectively saying you do not consider trans men to be real men. If they pass. If they don't pass. If they are stealth. If they are visible. If they date men. If they date women. Pre op. Post op. If they were raised with female conditioning. If they weren't.

You lump us all into a category, and that category is 'men who are not men but we call them men to not hurt their feelings'. And it sucks!!! Every time I see someone do that, that is what it says to me. It's transphobic. It's homophobic. And it hurts ALL men, because when you paint all men as dangerous predators, you don't just shame vulnerable men back into their respective closets. You also tell men who you do not consider vulnerable that they are nothing more than predators and abusers that must apologize every day for their existence.

Men have absolutely been responsible for some very shitty things in this world. So have women.

I am black, trans, gay, and disabled. One of the most dangerous groups for me to interact with is white women. Historically, they are who call the lynch mob to get people like me killed for the sin of walking on the same sidewalk. In present day, I see an awful lot of white feminists and white wlw protest the Karen stereotype. Despite that very real danger that white women present to me, if I were to say that women are trash or that all women need to suck it up and apologize for what happened to men like Emmitt Till and do better before I'm willing to reconsider, if I judged you all by the Karen stereotype that only exists as a stereotype BECAUSE OF THE DANGER TO BLACK PEOPLE... you know exactly what would happen.

Remember that beside every plantation owner stood a white woman who saw no problem with her husband beating and raping and torturing my people.

Remember that it was white women who weaponized their whiteness and their percieved frailty within their patriarchal roles to demonize, dehumanize, and murder black men.

Remember that it was white women who excluded black people and especially black wlw from the face of women's rights, who told them that the movement was not for them, who told them that they would have to wait their turn, who turned their backs on their sisters when race came into play.

Remember that it was a pair of white lesbians who paraded that adopted black boy around when black lives matter started, who forced him to hug the police he was very afraid of, who beat and abused and starved him and the rest of their adopted black kids. Who drove off a fucking cliff with all of them in the car and we still have not found his body.

But men are dismissed and silenced for protesting the double standard, and if I sound angry it's because I am. I'm not angry at /speficially you/. I am not angry at queer women. I'm not angry at white women. I am not angry at any woman. I understand that there are bad people of every creed color gender sexuality race religion and more. But I AM angry that every time this comes up, what happens is that men are told their lives are perfect and easy and they have unconditional privilege and the world is as safe as can be for them.

Where was Devonte Hart's safety when his adoptive white lesbian mothers murdered him? Where was his privilege when they poisoned the court case against his birth mother, who desperately wanted her children back? When was his life of being taken from his birth mother and then tortured at the hands of people OUR GOVERNMENT allowed him to be in supposed to be perfect and easy?

We will never know if Devonte was queer. We will never know what type of man he would turn out to be.

His life was still precious. He wasn't trash. And he was murdered by queer women after they realized they'd no longer get away with torturing him.

I don't hate queer women. I count quite a few among my friends, and they are just as appalled at the situation as I was. They are just as disgusted by this attitude as I am. But I am tired of being told that it is solely my gender that is the problem, and that anyone attracted to men must have something wrong with them. And I am angry that I have to explain how not only is 'all men... but not trans men' is such a terrible line of thinking.

That boy did not deserve the fate he got, even if he would have grown up to be straight. And it wasn't men who hurt him, either.

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #162

Today on Fate and Phantasms we’re making the woman who brought down the sun, Chacha! Chacha’s a Zeal Cleric to bring out the skeletons of the Toyotomi, as well as a Pyromancer Sorcerer to set the proper mood lighting with the hellfire that constantly burns within her.

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: Alter ego? I barely even know ‘er ego!

Race and Background

Chacha’s Human. Not really much to say to justify that, but it gives you +1 to all abilities.

Your experience in the court of one of the most powerful men in Japan gives you the Courtier background, giving you proficiency with Insight and Persuasion. You’re kind of a kid right now, so shoot people the puppy dog eyes and they’ll be butter in your hands faster than you can flutter your lashes.

Ability Scores

Continuing from that last sentence, max out your Charisma. God knows you’ll need it if you want to get that bread. Second is your Dexterity- you’re a rambunctious little rugrat. Third highest is your Constitution, you’re tough enough to deal with constantly being on fire, but we won’t be getting much of that from two spellcasting classes. Your Wisdom isn’t great, but it’s a lot better than most berserkers- your madness enhancement is only E rank. Also we need it for multiclassing. Your Strength isn’t great, you did get summoned as a child, after all. That leaves your Intelligence to dump. Again, Chacha’s a child here, and she definitely strikes me as a “leap before you look” kinda person.

Class Levels

1. Sorcerer 1: The skeletons are what you do, but being on fire is what you are, so we’re starting with Pyromancy. (It also doesn’t hurt that starting with sorcerer gives you proficiency with Constitution and Charisma saves, plus Religion and Deception. She snuck into being the big bad of a whole event, I’m counting it.)

Being a sorcerer gives you Spells you can cast using your Charisma, as well as a Heart of Fire. When you cast a fire-dealing spell that isn’t a cantrip, you shoot fire out of your body in a 10′ radius around you, dealing damage to creatures you choose equal to half your sorcerer level (minimum 1, so it isn’t useless this level).

Speaking of spells, you get some! Prestidigitation lets you fit whatever fits into your hand for six seconds. There’s also other uses, but this is one of the closest things you’ll get to Golden Rule, so we’re using it for free stuff. You also get Sword Burst to shove swords in people, Green-Flame Blade for when you want to do it yourself, and Fire Bolt because we kind of got a theme going.

For first level spells, Burning Hands will activate your Heart of fire, and Mage Armor will help you not die. You die last, make sure it stays that way.

2. Cleric 1: Multiclassing into a Zeal cleric gives you proficiency with all sorts of armors and weapons, so if you want to slap on a mask and get in up close and personal with your foes, now you can. You also get another set of Spells, which you cast and prepare with your Wisdom. You also become a Priest of Zeal, so you can attack as a bonus action after attacking with your main action Wisdom Modifier times per long rest.

You’ll get plenty of use out of your specialty spells Searing and Thunderous Smite, but you can also use Bane to weaken your enemies. You also get more cantrips! Thaumaturgy is a great distraction when you have to get out of a punishment, or you could use Sacred Flame in a fight! Otherwise, you can use Light to see in the dark with your dumb human eyes.

3. Cleric 2: Second level clerics can use their Channel Divinity options once per short rest, either Turning Undead like normal or engaging their Consuming Fervor when they deal Fire or Thunder damage to deal the max amount possible instead of rolling. You can probably sense a theme in this build by now.

4. Cleric 3: Third level zeal clerics can make Magic Weapons or Shatter their enemies with second level spell slots. Magic Weapon’s much more in-character for you, but I’d certainly not turn down free explosives.

5. Cleric 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to grab the Magic initiate feat. This lets us pick up Bane once per long rest without having to become a bard, and you also get Friends and Vicious Mockery to add a bit of magic to your social cantrips.

On top of that, you still get one more cleric cantrip. Toll the dead is certainly appropriate thematically.

6. Cleric 5: Fifth level clerics can now Destroy Undead of CR 1/2 or lower when they turn undead, but more importantly they get third level spells. Haste and Fireball are both great picks, but we’re here especially for Animate Dead to make some skeletons. What a lovely family reunion!

7. Sorcerer 2: Now that we’ve got the rest of the Toyotomi clan backing you up, we can refocus on that hellfire. Second level sorcerers are Fonts of Magic, giving you sorcery points equal to your sorcerer level each long rest that you can spend on spell slots. There’s other stuff later, but for now you get slightly more spell slots.

You can also use those big-ol’ puppy dog eyes to Charm Person, forcing a wisdom save to charm someone for up to an hour.

8. Sorcerer 3: Your metamagic lets you enhnace your spells by using sorcery points. Your Heightened spells impose disadvantage on one target’s saves, and your Extended spells have a doubled duration.

Flame Blade technically isn’t a sorcerer spell unless you like Unearthed Arcana, but it’s fitting enough that we might as well chance it. It makes a flaming sword that uses your casting modifier to attack and lasts 10 minutes or until your concentration runs out.

9. Sorcerer 4: Use this ASI to bump up your Dexterity for a higher AC and your Wisdom for more attacks and better cleric spells.

You also get Create Bonfire and Aganazzar’s Scorcher for more fire. Again, kind of a theme here.

10. Sorcerer 5: Fifth level sorcerers can spend sorcery points on Magical Guidance to re-roll failed skill checks. You’re kind of a big deal, you don’t have time to do things badly.

You also get another UA spell, Flame Stride. Speed yourself up by 20 feet, avoid opportunity attacks, and deal fire damage to nearby creatures. Perfect for when you’re tearing a path through Chaldea.

11. Sorcerer 6: Sixth level pyromancers come packed with Fire in the Veins, giving you resistance to fire damage and now your fire spells ignore resistance.

You also get the spell Incite Greed. You might not be able to conjure gold like the other Golden Rule users, but it looks like you’re really rich, and that’s the important part here. This spell forces a wisdom save on any number of creatures within range, and if they fail all they can do until they break free is follow you around and stare at the gem you’re holding.

12. Sorcerer 7: Your brand new fourth level slots help you induce Confusion on your enemies. Probably your enemies. Seriously, avoid hitting your friends with it.

13. Sorcerer 8: Use this ASI to bump up your Charisma for stronger spells. You also learn Wall of Fire for more fire. Again, we’ve got a theme to work with here.

14. Sorcerer 9: Immolation is more fire, but it’s also more your speed than a wall. Set someone on fire to deal 7d6 fire damage or half on a successful dex save. On a failed save they also stay on fire for up to a minute, until you lose concentration, or they pass another dex save. Also, if this spell kills someone, they turn to ash.

15. Sorcerer 10: For your third metamagic option, go for Empowered spell to deal more damage when you’re out of divinity to channel. Since we’re not going barbarian, grab Blade Ward for a bit of that berserker toughness, as well as Creation to buy up whatever you might need at a moment’s notice.

16. Sorcerer 11: Investiture of Flame gives you yet another way to set yourself on fire, making you immune to fire damage, resist cold damage, deal fire damage to nearby creatures, and you can spend an action to shoot fire for up to 10 minutes.

17. Sorcerer 12: Use your last ASI to max out your Charisma for the hottest flames possible.

18. Sorcerer 13: Your seventh level spell is Fire Storm, creating flames that cover 10 10 foot cubes within range, dealing fire damage and setting objects on fire. More fire! Never enough fire.

19. Sorcerer 14: Fourteenth level pyromancers get Pyromancer’s Fury, letting you spend your reaction to deal fire damage to a creature when they hit you with a melee attack, ignoring resistances. More fire! Always more fire.

20. Sorcerer 15: To commemorate that time you destroyed your entire family and brought them to ruin, grab Sunburst as your eighth level spell to burst that sun and deal radiant damage to creatures in a 60′ radius and possibly even blind them.

Pros:

You’re really good with Fire, and thanks to your pyromancer features the fact that fire is a common resistance isn’t quite as big a deal for you as it could be. Being able to max out your fire damage also means you can deal big hits once per short rest.

Aside from raw damage, you’re also good at weakening enemies thanks to your high charisma and heightened metamagic.

Since you’re shouldering the dps burden, that leaves your skeleton army available to basically be a shield between you and whatever it is you’re killing, making it much harder for barbarians and the like to flatten you like a pancake.

Cons:

Oh yeah, barbarians can flatten you like a pancake. You have barely over 100 HP and an AC of 16, you’re not hard to take down if someone can survive your opening barrage.

Most of your spells aren’t very selective. Your party might give you a hard time for friendly fire, and you’re probably going to end up killing your skeleton family. Again. Sorry.

Quite a few of your spells require concentration, meaning you’ll have to pick and choose what you’re doing at any one time. It also means you might waste a spell slot if someone slaps you too hard after you immolate someone else. It’s an occupational hazard.

[neeterloveschenford]

Thoughts on RNM 3x11

Hello my RNM fam! So we finally had an episode that didn’t bring me massive amounts of joy. There were definitely things that I liked. And I think it would have been a fairly decent episode if it were in season 2. But all in all it just didn’t make me giddy like most episodes this season did. I think this one would have worked with a longer season. You need filler episodes when you have 22 episodes a season. But, alas, we got this last night. Like I said, there were things that I liked. So it wasn’t all bad. But I think it was a shining example of the things that they still need to fix. So let’s dive in and discuss the good and the bad.

First off, I still love Jones! He is such a good villain and Nathan has been so amazing this year. Max still drives me crazy, but I think that has more to do with the writing than the acting. I am really going to miss Jones when they take him down. But he’s the kind of villain that you just can’t let walk around. I love that he was seemingly trying to seduce Liz into his way of thinking. Knowing how much she loves Max, he was trying to use his charm and her obvious appreciation of Max’s body to his advantage. And I think he’s attracted to her spunk. I imagine she might just remind him of Nora. I’d really like to know how he actually felt about her. I get the feeling that he loved her as much as someone like him could love someone. I think he felt betrayed when she stole his DNA and killed all of his clones.

It was fascinating to hear him talk about how he killed so many of his people to save the planet. I wonder if they will get into maybe eugenics or something as his reasoning. Now that would be the way to tell a racist storyline. That’s the beauty of sci-fi. You can tell a story that is heavy and hard to do, but set it somewhere that is removed from our everyday life. I mean, we can just turn on the news to see horrible white supremescist terrorizing innocent people anytime anywhere. But through sci-fi we can see issues like this without the heavy-handedness that we’ve seen so far this season. This should have come up a lot sooner and then they could have explored a racism storyline that might have actually worked. I also like how Jones turned the savior trope on its head.

I really love that Dallas isn’t so thrown by being an alien that he walks away from his faith. I think it’s a lot more realistic than always assuming that religion would fall by the wayside if we were to find out we weren’t alone in the universe. I always think about an episode of Babylon 5 I saw years ago when I think about aliens and religion. In it, all of the alien races were having ceremonies that show the religious practices of their planet and the human leader spent the episode trying to decide how to showcase Earth’s spirituality. He ended up bringing everyone to a very long hallway where there was a huge line of people from all different religions lined up to be introduced to the aliens. It was a way to show how diverse the beliefs of human beings are. I thought it was brilliant. People would not just throw away their beliefs simply because we found out we weren’t alone. So it was nice to see how a man of faith could still rely on his faith in God to help him through this. (So now can we tell Arturo that Rosa was resurrected by an alien and not just by a “miracle.”)

Also, I really love Dallas. He can stay. And welcome to the land of bossy Isobel dude. She is ALWAYS this direct!

I know some people wanted Isobel to have the ability to control people, but I’m glad it’s Michael that has that power. I think he can bear the burden of it better than Isobel. Remember how we all thought it was great last episode that she had that moment where she said that’s what I get for invading people’s minds? I think she would not use it the way Michael will. He showed how careful he wants to be with this power when he asked the sheriff for permission to enter her mind and kick Jones out. He will be so careful to use his powers wisely and sparingly. I’m not saying Isobel would go all dictator on folks, but she can be very impulsive.

The Sanders/Michael scene was everything good and right in the world. I love how much Sanders loves Michael. And he is the best one-eyed Miagi that ever Miagied. I am so glad that Michael has him in his life. He is one of the only people (the other being Alex of course) that can get through to Michael. He knows that boy so well and always seems to know just what to say to get Michael to see the truth of who he is.

I am loving Rosa and Isobel’s friendship this season. It was pretty rough last season. But they are so supportive of each other. I love that we get to see women supporting women this season. I hope we have many more moments with them.

So now I’m going to get into the things I truly did not like. First of all, I still think Heath is a major bore. A pretty, pretty, pretty bore. I think he needs to go back to California. I don’t want him to die. That would hurt Dallas and I adore him. But Heath needs to go. Go back to Genoryx. I’m sure they’d take him back.

Wyatt. For the love of all things holy and righteous, can we be done with him now? Sad thing is, he and Rosa actually have chemistry. If this was the plan all along, then why make him so incredibly irredeemable in the first place? What a waste of time and story line.

I do not understand why they cannot plan out how to use the 10 episode characters. This would have been the perfect episode to have Alex and even Greg. An Air Force and a Navy veteran might have been a little useful in infiltrating the secret lair of a diabolical dictator. We now know that Alex saw combat in his three tours. And I can’t remember if Greg is a Navy SEAL in canon or fanon, but I’m pretty sure if it isn’t canon, he didn’t just swab the decks while he was in the Navy. He is a Manes after all. So why would we have an episode like this where they aren’t even utilized? I know Tanner’s schedule is tricky with Bold and the Beautiful, but they filmed so many other things out of order, why couldn’t they swing this one? Really poor planning.

And you’re going to tell me that Alex, Kyle, and Maria aren’t going to be in the mix to save Liz? I would totally understand Kyle and Maria being sidelined with Rosa when it comes to rescuing Liz, but this is just another example of how the writers seem to forget that these people are very important to each other. It’s absolute nonsense. I get that you wouldn’t see each other every day, but Rosa would be a little upset that her brother is in a coma. Alex would be a little ticked off that someone has, once again, kidnapped one of his best friends. It’s really annoying how they expect us to fill in the blanks.

Who likes Harry Potter so much and how can we make them stop with the references?

Why did we just drop the whole funeral vision story line? I mean, no one talks about it anymore. At all. What was the point?

I keep telling myself that some of the things that are wrong with the show are left over from Carina. I know that she at least had an outline for this season in play. We know she wrote the first episode. I know she made a big deal about all the changes that were made after she got booted, but how much could they change without causing problems. I am probably just projecting my hatred of her leadership on this season, but I am hopeful that this is the case and we can be even more streamlined next season. A girl can dream.

Lastly, where the hell was my morning after. I mean seriously people!

Ok, that’s all I’ve got this week. Here’s hoping we can have two hours of wonderfulness next week and end with an amazing experience. Also, can we finally get some Malex appreciation from the rest of the characters? I know I’m not asking for too much. Till next time my lovelies! Hope everyone has a great week!!

[ezrasarm]

For the requests 23. “Shh, it was just a bad dream. Just a dream, okay? None of it was real.” From the prompt list? Doesn't have to be the exact quote I just like the concept. Any character you want!

The Weight Of It All

Pairing: Din Djarin x Reader

Word count: 2.3K

Warnings: Angst (oops 🤭), mentions of violence and death, my failed attempt at redeeming it with fluff, severe lack of proofreading because I’m lazy

A/N: This was meant to be mindless fluff and cuddles and then whatever this is happened and I wound up accidentally incorporating @wille-zarr’s request too (I don’t know how this keeps happening). A huge thank you to @chaotic-noceur for beta reading most of this bad boy and of course for providing moral support, ideas and probably my favourite line in the whole damn thing and to @din-damn-djarin not only for providing the prompt (or at least one of them) but also for providing ideas for her own request cause I know that kinda takes the magic out of it.

gif by @lucy-sky

Din noticed something had shifted recently. You had been distant. More withdrawn. You thought you were being discrete but he had heard you rattling around the old ship in the early hours of the morning to quell your busy mind. You had been losing sleep, there was no question of that. But over what was still a mystery to him. He kept his inquiries to himself for the most part. Opting to observe your new habits and see what he could extrapolate on his own. He didn’t want to hit a nerve by asking you the wrong question.

Travelling alone for so long before he met you meant he wasn’t well versed in this kind of interaction. The kind that involved prying into another’s mind and picking apart their thought processes to try and understand their emotions. It all seemed too complicated. He knew how uncomfortable it could be when others tried to do it to him. Yet when you asked, it came so naturally. Like you could sense just when he was ready to broach those heavy topics that had been weighing on his mind for too long. 

As little as he expressed it, it always made him feel better once he got it out in the open. It was small things. A simple “You alright?” Or “What’s on your mind?”. Just a reminder that someone- you- were there. He wished he could do the same for you. Say a few words and make all your worries and problems disappear but he didn’t know how. The words never sounded right coming out of his mouth. And the longer he danced around the subject trying to figure it out, the longer you suffered on your own.

It was sudden when a jolt ran through the ship. Din had only excused himself for a few moments to go and check on the kid, leaving you at the controls. Lately, it was like the little green creature could sense your weariness and it was making him restless too. He kept acting up when you tried to put him to bed. Wailing when either of you left the room for more than ten seconds. It was as though he thought you were never going to come back. When a second jolt shuddered through the hull causing the entire ship to begin quaking violently Din was sure you were under siege or had entered some kind of asteroid field. He came scrambling up the ladder and into the cockpit as fast as he could but when he got there he found no such thing.

It was like muscle memory had taken over entirely as he flicked switches and pressed buttons frantically to get the craft back under control. His heart was pounding in his ears from the sudden kick of adrenaline when he turned to ask what the hell had just happened. There was actually a hint of anger that had swirled amongst his panic. He couldn’t believe you would be so irresponsible as to put all of you at risk- the child at risk- yourself at risk. But when his gaze fell on you, out cold in the captain’s seat, all those thoughts sublimated. There was a brief moment that he thought you had hurt yourself. That you’d hit your head in all the commotion and got a concussion. But when he was finally able to turn his full attention to you, he quickly came to the realization that that was not the case at all. You were asleep. For what he was sure was the first time in a long time. It suddenly dawned on him just how deprived you had to have been.

As mesmerizing as the view was, the Razor Crest’s cockpit was not a quiet place. He himself had troubles nodding off there if he willed it upon himself. He thought about how overwhelming the exhaustion must have been for you to fall asleep in the middle of all that and now all he could do was curse himself for not knowing what it was that kept you up at night. He considered moving you to his own bed where it was warmer and quiet and you could rest more comfortably but he also knew he couldn’t live with himself if he were the one to disturb your much-needed repose. Instead, he opted for tucking a spare blanket over your crumpled form and sitting himself down in the copilot’s seat to avoid a repeat offence of the crest’s most recent blunders.

Rolling his head against the headrest Din had just flicked the ship into autopilot and leaned back to try and get a moment of shut-eye for himself. He let his half-lidded gaze fall on your peaceful features, the soft curve of the junction between your neck and shoulder and the slight parting of your lips as your jaw hung open lazily. He focused on the subtle rise and fall to your chest as you breathed in and out each breath. He thought he was just on the edge of sleep when you shot upright. A sudden gasp escaped you as your eyes flung wide open. It was like your head had been held underwater for far too long by some invisible force and this was your first fighting breath for air. “Din,” you sputtered out in your terror, blinded by the sting of tears in your eyes. He didn’t have time to notice it was his name that slipped off your tongue subconsciously as you grasped for any semblance of safety you could get before he was kneeled in front of you, gloved hands gripping either side of your face, brushing the hair out of your line of sight so the only place your gaze could land was on him.

“Shh, it was just a bad dream.” He hushes in an attempt to soothe you despite his heart hammering against his ribcage. “Just a dream, okay? I’m right here.” He repeats quietly, raking his gloved fingers through your hair in an action that he wasn’t sure was more comforting to you or himself. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” He hummed through the static of his modulator when your stuttering breaths finally began to settle, resting the cool beskar of his helmet against your worried brow in what he hoped was an act of reassurance. He was just getting ready to open his mouth and ask what was troubling you when you beat him to it.

“I can’t make it stop.” You whispered through a shuddering breath, still clutched to the fabric that was peeking out from beneath his beskar for dear life when he pulled back to study your face. It suddenly dawned on him that it wasn’t that you couldn’t sleep. It’s that you were avoiding it. “Every time I close my eyes I see him and I-” Another sob cuts you off but Din’s mind is already racing with the possibilities. Questions of who this man was- what he had done to you- when he had even gotten the chance, were all swirling around his head twisting into a blind rage he didn’t know how to exert.

“Who?” He asks, disliking the way the urgency in his voice made you flinch slightly as a glint of a tear breached your waterline.

“The man on Jakku.” His heart dropped at that. He hadn’t even considered it. Last month the two of you had been on the desert planet for what was meant to be a simple job. Things went south and before you knew it a man was dead at your feet, a blaster trembling in your hand. Din had admired you for it. He had sung you praise over the way you handled it with such composure. But that didn’t help the fact that every time you let your eyes slip shut you were met with the cold dead gaze of your victim staring back at you. It hadn’t even occurred to him the kind mental toll it would take on you.

“You did what you had to-”

“I’m a killer, Din.” He didn’t miss the disdain laced in your voice at the mention of the word and he couldn’t help but wonder if you held that same contempt for him given the way he made his living.

“He didn’t give you any options, cyare.” He tries to reason with you but you’re too caught up in your own flurry of emotions for his words to reach you.

“He could have had a life- a wife to go home to- a family who depended on him-”

“And he was trying to kill yours!” He pleaded. It was the loudest you had ever heard him raise his voice before. He had regretted it the moment the words passed his lips but he needed you to hear him, to listen, to understand you weren’t in the wrong.

“I know, Din!” You cried back, your volume matching his own before he can even stammer out an apology. “I know.” You whispered once again. “But I’m not… like you.” There were so many things you admired about the man you loved and the way his dedication to his religion had shaped him. You adored his selflessness to do what was right for his people and to carry their name with honor and dignity. You cherished his devotion to provide for you and protect you by any means necessary with a reverence you weren’t sure he truly grasped and you understood that killing was a part of that. You would never ask him to stop but you knew you could never justify ending someone’s life in the way he did with such ease. “I wasn’t taught how to take a life and treat it like it means nothing.” The words held no malice and rationally he knew you meant no offence in saying them but they stung him just the same.

“Is that how little you think of me?” A soft croak to his voice that contradicted the empty visor gazing up at you unshakably.

“Din, that’s not what I meant.” You sighed. You could see the hint of a nod in understanding but it did nothing to quell the guilt swirling in your stomach. “I just… how do you make it go away?” You ask after a few more moments of deafening silence, your words weak and tired as you looked as they left your mouth. At that he lets out a heavy breath, rolls back on his heels and pushes himself into a standing position. For a heartbeat you think he might leave you here, alone to the thoughts you’d been so frantically trying to avoid but instead he takes your hands in his and pulls you up before turning the two of you around and dragging you down by the hips to sit on his lap. You don’t say anything for a while, too scared you’ll screw up like you did just a minute ago.

“After my first kill, I threw up.” He speaks eventually, securing his arms a little tighter around your waist. He had never told anyone that before. While he had been embarrassed by it for so long and feared what it implied about him as a member of his faith now he looked back on it with a kind of pride he hadn’t taken the time to fully consider before. “It was a rabbit. I had to snap its neck.” He explained, his voice now even but not empty of emotion. “I can still hear the bones cracking to this day.” He says. “These things don’t just go away, cyare. They stay with us. They keep us grounded.” Din explains just as his buir had when he had asked a very similar question as a child. He hated that he didn’t know how to protect you from this. From your own mind. He wished he could have shielded you from the whole ordeal in the first place but he couldn’t deny how much mandokar he saw in you now despite it. Your worries now only proved as more evidence of that. “I wish I could tell you it gets easier.” He says, brushing a stray strand of hair out of your face. “But I don’t think you would like the person you had become if it did.” He says with a hint of certitude to his voice that manages to assuage your grief more than you had been able to in the months since the incident had occurred. If nothing else now you were sure you weren’t alone. That the very feeling you thought set you apart most from your mandalorian turned out to be the one that coalesced you the most.

“Din?” You murmur wrapping an arm over his shoulder as you nuzzle your face into his neck and inhale a heavy breath of a scent you can only define as him.

“Mhmm?” He hums in return, his fingertips running up and down your spine gently when he tilts his head down to look at you.

With the way you were being crushed under the weight of your own guilt you couldn’t believe the amount of strength it took for him to carry not only his own burden but some of yours too. You don’t even know how to begin thanking him. So that’s where you start. With a quiet whisper of a ‘thank you’ and a kiss pressed to his shoulder. “I don’t know how you live with this everyday.” You mumble against the thick fabric, your voice still fragile as your eyes slip shut and you grip onto him just a little bit tighter.

“It helps having you here with me.” He goes to say, dipping his forehead to press against yours only to realize your breaths had evened out to a gentle snore and you had finally drifted off to what he hoped was a restful sleep.

•••

Cyare - my love

Buir - parental figure

Mandokar - the *right stuff*, the epitome of Mando virtue - a blend of aggression, tenacity, loyalty and a lust for life

Masterlist

Taglist: @agirllovespasta @chaoticspaceidiot  @engineeredfiction  @pedropascalito  @dreamgirl-67  @wickedfrsgrl  @hillarymurray4  @din-damn-djarin  @yespolkadotkitty  @wille-zarr @chaotic-noceur @oloreaa @this-cat-is-dea @marydjarin @roxypeanut @opheliaelysia @cryptkeepersoul

[moontheoretist]

1. Sam, some terrorists and supremacists are kids, but I agree with you that there must be a peaceful way to deal with it. A Person who gets radicalized can also be deradicalized. There is still hope for her, but she would still have to be held accountable for what she did. She killed 3 people after all.

2. Zemo’s “everybody is inherently on the path to being a supremacist if they want to become superhuman” thing is just a bullshit excuse to kill people instead of changing them. It’s no different than installing a system in which criminals are killed instead of being resocialized. Yeah, some people who wanted to achieve the pureness of race indeed followed the idea of “superhuman” in a sense, but Nietzsche’s idea of superhuman wasn’t about biology, it was about changing oneself to become “more than a human”, not the world around them.

Superman, German Übermensch, in philosophy, the superior man, who justifies the existence of the human race. “Superman” is a term significantly used by Friedrich Nietzsche, particularly in Also sprach Zarathustra (1883–85), although it had been employed by J.W. von Goethe and others. This superior man would not be a product of long evolution; rather, he would emerge when any man with superior potential completely masters himself and strikes off conventional Christian “herd morality” to create his own values, which are completely rooted in life on this earth. Nietzsche was not forecasting the brutal superman of the German Nazis, for his goal was a “Caesar with Christ’s soul.”

~ Superman, Brittanica

So as much as I disagree with the notion that “christian values” are the ones which save the world, so in this I and Nietzsche agree (because religions are bad, though I disagree that you can just set values and rules for yourself and call them just, because it’s a bull), I personally never read Nietzsche’s superhuman as a concept in the way Zemo did, because to me, it sounds more like the self-imposed rigid training to become better person rather than becoming a god. Though there is still a huge crack even in the way I read it, which is also one of Steve Rogers biggest flaws. Trying to achieve perfection, being sure you are the perfect person or close to being a perfect one, is the way to become someone who abuses everybody else around them without even seeing that they’re doing it, because they’re “just” following their own values and rules. They are so sure that they are doing right by others that they don’t even listen when others say it’s not helping, or that it’s actually hurting them. Which brings me to point 3.

3. Steve Rogers wasn’t corrupted by the serum, because he was already a corrupted person. His corruption was the idea that he was the perfect person when it comes to virtues and soul, who deserved to be a hero, so when he got a chance to become one, he jumped onto it like a starving animal at the meal. He wanted to be prefect in both body and mind, and it ultimately means that he was corrupted from the very start, before he even got the serum. So, yeah, Bucky. Your faith is admirable, but when I hear you saying this I call bull. Bucky didn’t like superhuman Steve, he preferred the small one, and I know that people will say that it was just because Bucky wasn’t needed by him anymore or come up with some other explanation why he didn’t like the bigger Steve, but to me, it will always be “when you were smaller you couldn’t hurt people, now you can”.

4. There is enough Steves Rogers without superpowers out there to fill a whole lifetime, Zemo. And I dunno how you, but I am tired of glorifying Steve Rogers.

[rae-is-typing]

kicked out

Description: You’re a part of the LGBTQ+ community, but your mother is a part of a religion that hates the LGBTQ+ community. You come out and she kicks you out. Tony helps. 

Characters: reader, reader’s mother, Tony Stark, mention of Peter Parker

Reader is gender neutral!

Warnings: homophobia, transphobia, general hate towards those in the LGBTQ+ community, intense bigotry, being kicked out, anxiety attack

Disclaimers: This one shot is not meant to be one about hating religion. This piece was loosely based on my own internal struggle with myself and the religion I was raised in. I’ve also never dealt with direct backlash because of my identity. I’m not out yet and I have no desire to be out yet. This is the worst case scenario I would be facing if I did come out.

I tried to make the religion and the identity as ambiguous as possible to make it a little more universal, but this one shot definitely points to the identity being gay, queer, bi, or pan, so I’m sorry I didn’t make it anymore neutral.

If you have a problem with this fic or the way it was written, I urge you to message me. We can have a conversation about where I went wrong and how I can learn from the experience and do better in the future.

Word count: 2k

The Avengers love you, plain and simple. How could they not grow to love the adorable teen they let into their unconventional family? (If Tony had his way, he would legally adopt you in a heartbeat.) Unfortunately for Tony, you had a mom. She was a pretty good one, she fed you, clothed you and supported you in most things you did. You moved to New York together when your father died. Your mother was also very religious. You were born and raised in the church your mother and father were raised in. You never had a problem with it; the people were amazing, the community was like a big family, you grew up with all the youth, and, most importantly, felt loved and safe. You rallied together against what they claimed to be of the devil. That included people in the LGBT+ community. When you grew up, you realized how you truly feel about people of your sex, and how you feel about people of the same sex. It started slowly. You began to accept that part of yourself when you met someone like you. He was nice, compassionate, accepting of others and helped everyone he could. He was one of the best people you’ve ever met. He was nothing like what you’re mother and religion told you LGBTQ+ people were like. What had really convinced you that the LGBTQ+ are real people was when one of your closest friends came out. You accepted them, they were not only in the same boat as you (not that you were ready to tell anyone), they were one of you. But not everyone thought so. You saw it whenever you went to church and they were at the meetings. It didn’t make sense to you. They were one of you, right? So they got a pass. Apparently not. You knew through the disappointed and judgemental eyes burning with disgust. It made you sick and only further solidified your resolve to stay in the closet. You soon learned it was easier said than done. Whenever you wanted to avoid the rallies, you chickened out and went, too afraid to disappoint your friends and mother. You always stuck to the standards and tried to be the perfect child your mother always wanted. It was exhausting. Admittedly, you saw the difference between your congregation, and the Avengers when you first met them. They were the first people you could truly be yourself with. As cheesy as it sounds, it was evident. They encouraged your individuality and loved you because of your personality and your abilities. 

You could talk to them, and you did. You told Peter first. He hugged you and told you that he’s bisexual and hasn’t come out to May yet. 

You told Tony about yourself a week later. He smiled at you, wrapped an arm around you and told you he was proud of you for discovering yourself and beginning to accept that part of you. It was something you didn’t expect, not that it wasn’t welcome. You were on top of the world for a couple weeks, thankful that some of the most important people in your life loved you still. But as of late, your thoughts about yourself have been killing your spirit. You were so tired of pretending. The toll it took on you was obvious to everyone that didn’t know you as the perfect sheep. The people that were worried the most were the Avengers. You were at the tower a lot more than usual, not that they were complaining. It was just odd. You hesitated when they asked you simple questions, spaced out a lot more, ate less and claimed you felt sick almost every other day. They’d share concerned glances and tried to talk with you, but you’d brush it off and used school, drama or headaches to excuse your strange behaviour. It worked- for a while. Then you stopped going to the tower completely. It wasn’t your fault. Your mother heard you say one positive thing about the LGBTQ+ community and freaked out. She went off saying that it was the Avengers corrupting you and that she never should have let you take the Stark internship in the first place, and so much more. You had never heard her yell so much in your life, it was terrifying. She stopped letting you go out, you were only allowed to go to School and Church, took away all forms of technology and outside communication. 

You were going crazy, there was no way you could keep living like this. So, you told her. You finally told her what you are, how you felt and why she shouldn’t make decisions for you when you were perfectly capable of making them yourself. You had waited a couple weeks, so you thought she’d be more level headed. But, you were wrong. She freaked out more than before. 

You knew for a fact that it was worse than before because she kicked you out.

You were shocked, confused and most of all hurt. You’re a part of the LGBTQ+ community, but she was still your mother. 

“What?” You asked, confusion lacing you voice. 

“You heard me, get out. Get out of my house.” Your mom stated firmly, disgust obvious in her voice. 

“You can’t do this, I’m your child!”

“Not anymore. You have until I get back, get you stuff and get out!” She shouted, walking out and slamming the door. 

You sat on the couch until her words sank in. Your mother is kicking you out.  

I’m homeless now. Where am I going to go? What am I going to tell my friends, what am I going to tell Peter? What am I going to tell Tony? What am I going to do? I can’t do it on my own. I can’t do it. I can’t… 

Your breathing sped up, your heart races, and waves of nausea hit you hard.

Nevertheless, you got up and searched for your phone. As soon as you found it, you eagerly dialled in his personal number and called. He didn���t answer. You wanted to cry, you tried again with no answer. You plugged in your phone, put your head in your hands and sobbed. 

Moments later, your phone rang. It was Tony. 

“Tony,” You breathed out. 

“Y/N! Where’ve you been, kid? It’s not as fun here without you.” His tone was light and relieved now that he could talk to you and make sure you’re okay.

“Tony, my mom, she- I- I wouldn’t have called if I had another option, I’m sorry, it’s just-”

“Whoa, hey, slow down and take a deep breath, Y/N.” His tone changed from fun to concerned in an instant. “What happened with your mom?”

“I-I told- I told her about me and that- that I- and she- Tony I can’t- she- I don’t-” You’re crying hard, unable to form coherent sentences and unable to breathe properly. 

“Y/N, where are you?” Tony asked.

“H-home.” 

“I’m coming over, stay on the line with me sweetheart, can you do that?”

“Ye-eah.”

As promised, you didn’t hang up until Tony was standing in front of you- Iron Man suit and all. He immediately pulled you in his arms when he got the suit off and began to calm you down.

“Can you tell me what happened now, kid?”

“She kicked me out.” You spoke into his chest. 

“She what?” Tony growled. How could a mother be so cruel? Anger flooded his veins, how could someone turn away from their child for simply being honest with themselves?

“I’m sorry, I wouldn’t have called you if I had any other option. Please don’t be mad, I’m so sorry.” You bury your face in his chest, wanting this day to be a bad dream. 

“It’s good you called me, Y/N. I’m not mad, not at you.” Tony held you in his arms, cradling your head against his chest and rubbing an arm up and down your back. There’s no hesitation, he knows that he needs to be there for you. “You’re staying with me.” 

“W-what?” 

“My dear, you are coming back to the tower. You will be sleeping, eating, doing your homework, socializing, and living with me and the rest of us at my tower. Okay?”

You can only nod, too overwhelmed to speak while clutching the back of Tony’s shirt like it was the only thing that was keeping you alive. He kept rubbing your back and letting you cry into his chest. Right now, his comfort doesn’t matter to him, not when his kid is crying in his arms.

It seems, though, that he’s the only one that heard the door begin to open. 

Tony grips your forearm and steps in front of you. Your mother opens the door with puffy red eyes and dried tears on her face. She looks genuinely sad for what she had to do, but that look of sadness dissipates when she sees Tony and you standing in her living room. 

“What are you doing here?” She hisses. “What is that doing here?" 

"Y/N, go to your room and pack what you want to take.” Tony’s voice is even and strong. You hesitate, tears still streaming down your face, fingers still clutching Tony’s clothes like you were a toddler hiding from another adult. “Y/N, now.”

You turn briskly, running down the small hallway and into your room. You lock the door, rip your suitcase from your closet and stuff all of your sentimental items first before your favorite clothes. 

Their voices are easily heard through the thin apartment walls. You hear Tony defending you and your mom berating you. 

“That thing is not my child. I did not raise a sinner!”

“Y/N is a human being with a name that you gave them. You are their mother, mothers are supposed to love their children, not throw them out like yesterday’s garbage.”

You’ve never heard Tony this angry. 

I shouldn’t have called him, he’s mad, she’s mad, I made her mad, she hates me she hates she hates me she hates me

You grabbed a pillow and cried in earnest into it, managing to cover your ears as well as your mouth to muffle your sobs and the voices coming through the walls.

A knock at your door makes you jump and hold your breath. 

“Y/N, it’s me. Are you ready to go?” Tony says. You can hear the anger that was in his voice, even if he’s trying to stay as calm as he can for you. 

“Yeah,” you croak, wiping your face. You grab the bag and open the door. Tony is shaking with fury, but he wraps an arm around you and walks you to the living room. Your mother says nothing to you as she sits on the couch with a prideful look on her face. “We’re flying back to the tower so I need you to hold on tightly and do not let go under any circumstances.” 

You nod at the instructions and Tony suits up. The quiet mechanical sounds are music to your ears. He places an arm on the middle of your back and hooks one under your knees. He hoists you up easily, the bag resting your chest and held tightly by you. 

Tony flies slower and lower than usual, keeping you in mind. You have one arm around his neck and the other holding the bag to your chest. He lands on a balcony to one of the top floors and carries you inside. Placing you on the ground with care, he holds your shoulders and assures himself you’re stable. He takes off the suit and walks you to a room. 

“You can stay here for now. I’ll talk with Pepper and the team about what happened. I’ll only tell them that you’re staying for awhile. You can tell them the other news when you’re ready.”

You nod. He closes the door and you sit on the bed, staring at the wall. 

A feeling of deep longing grows in your chest, along with feelings of rejection and pain. Your head drops to your hands and all you can do is cry.

[shirtlesssammy]

15x15: Gimme Shelter

Then:

Dean used his words to save the world once

Now:

At a food bank community center, three teens dole out food while stressing out about one attendant who’s breaking their cleanliness rules. Connor heads over to talk to the woman, but is stopped by the center’s pastor. The pastor challenges Connor’s motivation. ”We have rules, but we also have spirit too, right?” The pastor tells Connor to lead with compassion, so Connor brings the woman food instead of kicking her out of the building. 

Later, Connor walks home. Much like all other cold open walks, this one also involves a solitary alley. He hears someone calling his name. Trying to find the source of the voice, he trips and finds a talking teddy bear, and a metal hook around his neck.

Dean and Sam discuss research. Sam’s found a non-case, while Dean’s hit the jackpot in Atlantic City. Specifically, an unexplained blackout has him thinking that Amara’s enjoying her new gambling addiction on the East Coast. 

Cas pops up and thinks he should go with the brothers, but they tell him to stay put and babysit Jack. I say TFW is just better together, but I’m not writing this episode. Hrmph. The brothers are packed and ready to go, but Jack stops them in the war room to ask about the case Sam found.

Sam tells him it’s nothing. Dean encourages Cas and Jack to investigate --to keep Jack busy. Cas seems skeptical, but Dean insists.

Agents Swift and Lovato meet with the local law enforcement to learn more about the case. Sweet Jesus is it cute that Cas continues to use pop-star names. It’s cute that Jack takes after his father with the upside down badge. It’s cute that Jack recognizes the teddy bear and says he has one (Did Cas buy it for him? He has a history of buying stuffed animals for his quasi-children.) 

The sheriff tells them about the victim, and how the word ‘Liar’ was carved into him. 

Jack posits that this all seems demonic. 

Cut to Cas digging into the ground at a crossroads. Time to get some information. Cas buries a picture of himself that Dean took when he was wearing a cowboy hat (Don’t worry, Dean still has his copy, and keeps it safe…. for reasons.) and Jack sets up a social media account. He’s WAY under 13 years old, so he needs a parent’s permission. Cas grants it easily. (Also, ALSO!! ALSO, there are NOT too many cats on the internet. This writing is so OOC, smh.) 

A demon appears. 

He’s channeling his inner Crowley, and I suddenly miss the bugger for a moment. Zach, the demon, is very bored and desperately wants something to do. He’s not really British and tells the duo that no one's making demon deals right now. Rowena’s of the philosophy that “people will end up where they belong.” Cas realizes their mistake and moves to leave.  “Sam was right, it’s not a monster,” Jack laments. “He was half right. Sometimes humans can be the worst kind of monsters,” Cas adds. 

At the community center, a woman locks up, and grabs a whole lotta cash from the donation box before she bails. Once outside, she hears a voice call her name. She looks around but sees nothing. She turns back to her car to find a masked individual. A weird editing choice cuts back to her...and commercial. 

Cas checks in with the brothers. Dean tells Cas to be wary of those “Hallelujah types” and I’m like, wha? Cas is an ANGEL OF THE LORD. He’s been around the block, Dean. Lol for looking out for your BFF, tho. Also, second awkward moment of the episode when Dean just hangs up on Cas? I’m…

Sam voices his reservations about the whole finding Amara --lying to Amara --killing Amara plan. Say it louder for the brother in the seat next to you, Sam! 

(Boris: I’m just going to insert this in the middle of this recap and never mention it again. Can we trust Billie? Is her plan actually something that is GOOD for our TFW 2.0? What is her agenda and does it align with what we want? What if what SHE wants is as equally bad as what Chuck wants? What if we as an audience are getting played right now??) (Natasha: What if the strings she’s pulling are emotional and she’s playing a dangerous game of chicken with Dean’s rage and Chuck’s entitlement?)

Jack joins the community center. He watches Dr. Sexy the pastor in a prayer circle, and talks to a disillusioned young woman who asks him to fill out a form before walking away. 

Cas walks in separately and wanders over to Dr. Sexy the pastor praying with a parishioner, and tells him about the cash stealing Valerie. She never made it home. 

Cut to Valerie tied and gagged. Her hands are in an elaborate guillotine. She wakes. Her screams are muffled. A TV turns on and flashes the word ‘Thief’. And one of her fingers gets chopped off. A timer starts on the TV. AND WE ALL RECOIL. 

Jack finishes the paperwork and tries to talk to the girls working the food line. The one girl storms off, upset. Jack follows her and tells her that he didn’t mean to upset her. 

She tells him that Connor and her dated. Well, they watched a lot of old movies together.  (AHEM! AHEM! AHEM! “I’m your Huckleberry.” AHEM. Please stop the clowning, it hurts so much.) 

Jack confesses to the girl that he lost his mother. The girl tells Jack that her mom died three years ago, and now it’s just her and her emotionally unavailable father, the pastor. “I have more dads than most, and I’m always just feeling like I’m letting all of them down.” JACK!!!! The girl tells Jack to trust God, not people. 

And we laugh, and laugh, and, guh, laugh. 

Cas, meanwhile, meets with Dr. Sexy the pastor. 

Cas interrogates Dr. Sexy Pastor about whether anyone else has gone missing recently. Well, there was one guy who used to work for the “faith-based community” but they parted ways. Cas and the pastor enjoy a little god talk. Cas, the weary angel, opines that God just doesn’t care. The pastor has a different take on faith - it’s about the people of his church doing what they can to take care of each other. We learn that this church recently changed from a fundamentalist branch to something more welcoming. Connor was able to come out as gay due to the changes, so some good happened. (Hindsight thoughts: this makes his death and the “Liar” all the more awful.) “A saint is a sinner who keeps trying,” the pastor concludes...and if that ain’t the truth about Cas!

Sam and Dean are on the too-slow train to Atlantic City when Amara drops in during a gas stop and invites them out for pierogi. 

At Patchwork, the pastor asks Jack to share his journey of faith during a prayer circle. Jack falters, and Cas steps in. “I do know what blind faith is. I used to just follow orders. Without question. And I did some pretty terrible things. I would never look beyond the plan. Then, of course, when it all came crashing down I found myself lost. I didn’t know what my purpose was anymore. And then one day something changed. Something amazing. I guess I found a family. And I became a father. And in that, I rediscovered my faith. I rediscovered who I am.” BRB crying!

Later in the cafeteria, Jack asks Sexy Pastor, M.D. how he brought together so many people with different ideas of religion. “It’s not about what they believe. It’s what they do,” he reiterates. (I imagine, for a moment, an ending where Jack calls out to the whole world and all living creatures and Heaven and Hell unite to win the final confrontation and make a better world together.)

The tranquil moment is interrupted by the TV turning on to security feed footage of the victim. The timer runs out and she loses another finger and screams and screams. Jack rushes over to the TV and pulls out a USB stick from the back.

Meanwhile, the Winchesters dine with Amara.

They bring up Chuck’s destruction of the other universes and tell her they have a plan to stop him. They’ve got a nephilim on their side AND he’s super powerful. All they need is for Amara to help them trap Chuck and...WHAMMO. Amara gently refuses to betray her brother. She lays some new mythology on them. She and Chuck are twins - creation and destruction - and their splitting apart first brought life into the world. 

Cas and Jack barge into the church’s ex-AV tech’s room. And by that, I mean, Jack gets hurled through another door? Um. Okay. The part of me that grew up with 3 Stooges is HERE FOR IT, tbh. 

They discover the guy is dead, chained up in bed with cuffs, with the word “lust” painted above him.

Getting ready to leave town, Sam’s ready to accept Amara’s choice. Dean “Fuck Acceptance” Winchester heads back inside and corners Amara. He asks why she brought back Mary. 

Amara tells him that she wanted him to see that the apple pie dream life he’s always striving for isn’t real - that Mary was only human - and BETTER because of that. Amara thought that would help him to accept his life. Amara also thought that having Mary back would release Dean from his anger. 

He leans forward and lets her know that he’s furious. Everyone in this universe is trapped, he tells her - including her. And she’s doing nothing. Amara falters in the face of this, and then asks him if she can trust him. “I would never hurt you,” he LIES TO HER FACE. She tells him she’ll think about it.

That evening Sylvia, the pastor’s daughter, listens to her friend gush over the social media attention she’s getting after posting about the torture video. In a flash of rage, Sylvia stabs her friend and races away. Dr. Sexy Pastor finds the current (still alive) victim just as Sylvia catches up to him. She accuses him of laughing at her mother after her mother died from trying to heal by prayer rather than medical science. She accuses him of changing the church that her mother grew up in. Jack jumps into the fray and gets stabbed for his trouble. When Cas arrives, Sylvia is quickly subdued by his Vulcan forehead tap of slumber.

Cas yanks away the restraints from the victim (SOOOO strong) and then heals her fingers back on while the pastor looks on in wonder. 

For So Strong Science:

Later, they gather outside while Sylvia gets taken away in cuffs. The pastor still cares about his daughter and vows to get her help. The driver of the car is Zach the crossroads demon? Oookay. 

Cas and Jack drive home. In the truck of feelings, Cas asks Jack why he couldn’t share during the prayer circle. Jack confesses that he’s been lying. The spell Billie is doing with him is turning him into a bomb to be used against Chuck and Amara. It’ll work - they’ll cease to exist. But Jack will be obliterated too. “This is the only way they’ll ever forgive me,” he tells Cas. 

Cas is horrified. He can’t watch Jack die again! Cas refuses to watch Jack die again, but Jack seems to have fully embraced this as his necessary fate.

Back at the bunker, Dean heads for the whiskey bottle late at night when he spots Cas shuffling towards the exit. Jack’s settled in his room, Cas reports. Cas then tells Dean he’s going to look for “another way.” 

Oh AND, “In case something goes wrong and I don’t make it back, there’s something you and Sam need to know…” 

FADE. TO. BLACK.  

The Se7en Deadly Quotes:

You guys go Highway to Heaven that bitch

You look greener than Baby Yoda

“Did anyone find any tiny bags with chicken bones inside?” “Did anyone smell sulfur?” “Did anyone feel cold?”

There were too many cats

Where can I find the Kool-Aid?

I wanted you to see that your mother was just a person

It was a gift, Dean. Not a trial

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