#me: “this analysis won't have a lot of parts it will be short” also me still writing

[cleabellanov]

Jet-Skiing through identity: A deep dive into Mobius M. Mobius (part 4)🛥️

"And I'm yours but you're not mine" (Say Don't Go)

That's Mobius in season 1, because from all we know, he was the one to fall first. A fall that, just like domino pieces, results in a beautiful union of...well, everything.

But now, in season 2, his love is finally reciprocated. He showed Loki something they hadn't seen in themselves. And not only he loved them, but proved to Loki why they're deserving of that love as well. And now that he is finally appreciated and seen by the last person he was expecting, he also gets the insight he never knew he was looking for. This is like always running from something right into the chasm, until someone takes your hand and makes you stop. Even if it means facing your fears.

Open first episode of season 2, when the entire Loki legion was on the verge of a heart attack waiting to see what will happen. (That's actually me, I think I'm not alone). Those were crazy times indeed. Now, to our Mobius: a relative present version of him, not the one that didn't recognize Loki. That was scary. His first line is:

<<Hey, everything you've been doing is wrong, and all your gods are dead. How are people gonna take that?>>

I interpret this as his own thoughts and feelings projected on the collective. It's true for them, but it's relatable to Mobius.

And after all, why would everyone at the TVA believe all this time? The same reason as why we do it: we want to: that's where it all starts. And for someone like Mobius, who didn't believe in himself, it was much more logical to believe in the time gods. Putting the blame on fate takes the burden off your shoulders. But no burden, no glory. Few of them had guts to admit. But even indirectly, Mobius did (and has been for a while).

Backing the argument that he cares about Loki, and that he fell first, his reaction to hearing his name from Casey is immaculate.

He immediately tries to figure out a way to locate him. He might take a more "slow, deliberate approach", but not when he knows people he cares about are in danger. Not when he can still help.

Then, to X-5's attempt to make him feel bad about his spot on the original timeline, he responds with a neutral approach, not letting such things get to him. He even goes to explaining why jet-skis are so cool. This is something that shows how passionate Mobius can be about the things he likes. I don't think he would do this if he wouldn't be provoked in some sort of way, because the total absence of interest from others can kill a spark pretty quick. But he doesn't let it go just because no one around him sees jet-skis as important as he does. I love him for it.

His pure care for Loki and the way he comforts them the best he can is also very important in this episode. Mobius does his best to calm Loki down, trying to see the situation from an outside point of view so it can be solved efficiently. He's there, he doesn't let Loki down, and we know he would never; "Okay, you wanted time to think, so let's think." - as in let's think together, you're not alone.

Also, when Loki rushes to find Sylvie so they can fix what is happening, Mobius slows him down. He knows Loki wouldn't take the time to take care of themselves, so he does it for him, knowing exactly how much to insist, and that the timeslipping can't be let out if control for a long while.

Another trait resulting from the episode is sort of a disapproval avoidance, from the convo with O.B. Mobius obviously had his memory wiped and doesn't remember him, but doesn't admit it: it could hurt this nice guy and make him look like a fool (it wouldn't, really. he didn't have to worry abt it).

Then, at the end of the episode, this care (LOVE!!!) he carries for Loki is once again is highlighted:

Because, even at the risk of losing his skin (and, jokes aside, losing his life), Mobius still waits over the limit for Loki to make it back. What was I saying about believing? Even if the gods of the TVA are dead, the God of Mischief isn't. And Mobius always believed in him.

[shitpostingsapphic]

Caitvi headcanons

I've done a lot of serious arcane character analysis the past few days and now I want to take a break from that and do some cute fun little headcanons for caitvi. Let me know if you like them and if I should do more 🥰🥰

The first section will be SFW, I'll mark the NSFW so if you'd like to avoid that you can ❤️

SFW:

Caitlyn always wakes up first. It's a habit she's never outgrown from her time as Commander. Though she no longer suffers from the insomnia she incurred during that time, she still finds herself waking just before sunrise. And it's her favorite time of day, because as the streams of sunlight begin to come in through the window, she gets to watch as they rest on Vi's face and hair, making the pink of her hair glow closer to red. She gets to watch her breath stir the ends of it. Caitlyn also secretly likes the way Vi smells in the morning--a bit musty, a bit like the soap she uses to bathe in before bed. And if she scoots a bit closer to Vi in order to inhale that smell, well, no one is around to watch

Vi, in contrast, is an incredibly heavy and late sleeper. It's nearly lunch when she wakes, now that she's fully settled into her domestic life. And because of this, she's also the last to fall asleep at night. Often, after their *ahem* escapades, Caitlyn is out like a light, and Vi likes to cling to her and look up in her face, almost disbelieving that this beautiful creature is hers, that they are both alive and that she is indeed skin to skin with the woman she loves. So close they almost share a heartbeat.

Caitlyn is stronger than she looks, and she takes great joy in picking Vi up via fireman's carry to tease her. She especially takes pleasure in it because, despite the half hearted protests that Vi emits, she'll always make a remark along the lines of "well at least I have a great view of your ass from here, cait" or "it IS kind of sexy that you're strong enough to pick me up like this".

Vi's picked up cooking now that her life has settled down. It's no Jericho's, in her opinion, but it always brings Caitlyn into the kitchen with a smile, asking what's for dinner this time, as she comes up behind Vi and wraps her arms around her waist, so she figures her cooking can't be too bad.

Caitlyn harbors some insecurity about her worth in regards to Vi for a very long time. She feels as if she won't ever deserve Vi's love after what she's done. This feeling is always magnified on days when the resentment from the Zaunite public makes its way to the Kiramman household via news or telegram or word from the council. Caitlyn withdraws on these days, being short and irritable with Vi. Ever patient, Vi will sit with her, brush her hair away from her face, and kiss her over her eyepatch. "Enough wallowing," she teases. "You're stuck with me, yeah?"

Caitlyn would own a Doberman. No I won't budge on this.

Vi is low-key scared of the Doberman, but the dog doesn't care, and tries to give Vi kisses whenever possible. Vi eventually warms up to said Doberman and calls it her baby.

There is always a vase of violets in their home, at the insistence of Caitlyn.

They both have a shared love language of touch. Oftentimes they communicate through touch. During a fight, Vi will reach out her hand and brush her fingertips against the back of Caitlyn's hand and she'll instantly soften, turning her hand over and entwining their fingers. This makes apologies flow easier.

On that note, Caitlyn loves to brush her fingers through Vi's hair, scratching at the buzzed part on the side of her head. She also brushes Vi's hair often, something Vi has never experienced due to it being so short her whole life. It's a simple pleasure she isn't used to but makes her feel safe and cared for.

NSFW

I've seen a lot of headcanons where Vi has some sort of sexual dysfunction or hesitation to touching and/or being touched, and as someone who experiences a level of this, I don't see it. Me personally, I think sex is very freeing and healing to Vi, especially with Caitlyn. After their first time, she really can't get enough of her. Of course, after they've both been given time to heal from their internal and external wounds incurred from the battle of Piltover.

On that note, any opportunity for Caitlyn to develop an insecurity related to her scarred/lost eye is squashed due to Vi never giving her reason to feel undesirable. Vi is adamant about expressing her undying attraction and desire to Caitlyn, and so Caitlyn never feels shy about her eye when they have sex, whether the eyepatch is on or not.

She does ask about it, though, but only once. Vi answers her very seriously at first, by saying "You're alive, that makes you the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." Followed by a smirk and dumb quip something along the lines of "Plus it'll be great for some pirate roleplay."

Service top vi x power bottom caitlyn is canon, but it's not the only dynamic they indulge in.

They make use of the handcuffs. And the spitting. Really they just roleplay that scenario a lot, switching roles depending on their mood.

The first time Caitlyn asked Vi to spit on her again, Vi couldn't stop herself from laughing incredulously. "Didn't know it turned you on that bad. Really?" "Oh shut up, Violet. I was this close to blowing our cover because of you."

Once the initial shock of it has passed, though, it becomes a bit too fun for Vi to indulge Caitlyn and watch as her eyes go glassy.

The first time Caitlyn strapped Vi, her depth perception due to her lost eye worked against her, and instead of sliding home successfully, she missed entirely and fell on top of Vi, which resulted in the both of them laughing. It's something Vi has yet to let Caitlyn live down.

Sex in general is very silly and indulgent and teasing with them. A stark contrast to the very serious and morose and uncertain environment around them. It's freeing, as I stated before. They're free to feel pure joy with each other and it shows up most while they're having sex.

They never have sex angry. It's a safe space for the both of them, and it's never not done in a good headspace.

Vi certified munch is canon

Cait is also a certified munch. Her favorite way to do so is to have Vi ride her face because from there, Vi takes what she wants, and she finds it very cathartic to do that for Vi, to give her a place to take her pleasure and not feel shame.

Caitlyn didn't know she had a hand kink before Vi but apparently she does, but really, can she help herself when now she knows what it feels like to have three of those large fingers inside her?

Caitlyn leans more dominant in the bedroom, but for some reason it's when Vi is fucking her with those fingers, she gets a bit subby, begs a bit more, accepts gladly when Vi presents those fingers to Caitlyn for her to suck off her own cum.

Let me know if you guys would like to see more! 🥰

[nobody-nexus]

Episode 4 Talk: Ragatha

LOOK I know this is the Gangle episode (And yes I WILL give my own thoughts and feelings on her later because there's SO much to unpack with Gangle) but I wanna share my thoughts on Ragatha and what it shows about her character since the next episode is all about her.

I think Ragatha was honestly a highlight of her character just not in the typical sense. The reason is because the way she showed flaws in her character was unique and not how most flaws are shown. The stupid sauce making her honest is very interesting to me, but I also think a lot of people won't fully understand what this means

So- let's start with this over analysis on this character and why she's still honestly my favorite in the series

(SPOILERS AHEAD)

First of all, there's no doubt that the stadium teaser is the Ragatha episode. She is literally teaching Gangle how to throw a ball. It's something she knows about well, and it'll make sense for that to be where we see her the most. Of COURSE she's gonna love a teamwork-based game, but similar to this episode, it's probably gonna boomerang back into something horrible

But then there's after Gangle's mask is broken. After checking if Gangle's okay (sort of, she didn't exactly try) she instantly attacks Jax and they start to fight

Considering a line later in the episode that she said that I'll talk about later on in this essay, I think this does make sense for her character. She seems to have a short tempter with specifically Jax, so she's more likely to turn on him. I think this is due to how he behaves in general, so them always being at each other's throats is probably a very common thing

Them arguing as well gives off (personally) sibling or roommate energy, which I kinda appreciate

After a bit though, we get to the REAL meat of the analysis (pun intended tee hee) which is... the stupid sauce

First of all: I do kinda feel bad for Ragatha. She honestly would've been a fine employee (maybe overworked like Jax?), but the stupid sauce getting into her eye was 100% accidental. Meaning from here on out, we know Ragatha is not completely in character, and against her will at that point

But also the creepy scene out of nowhere makes me think that maybe this stupid sauce isn't the best thing to have....

(although on a funny unrelated note, her reaction makes me think she's a bit of a monster fucker. Hehe, Ragatha x Gangle go brrr)

After a bit of funnier shenanigans, and the Gummigoo thing, we get to the first bits of these impulsive honest thoughts

I think that how these "honest thoughts" work is that they're not like her ACTUAL thoughts, but instead it's what she's thinking at that exact moment. She's going off on exactly what she's thinking and just speaking without foresight. This is the first line that I think implies this, especially with the "I wish someone flirted with me" line

She's not exactly jealous. She's just- saying what comes to her mind. And at this moment, its mild annoyance turning into being upset that she doesn't get that same treatment. Like the "Why isn't that me, why not I get that treatment?" impulsive thought

After some more funny, and a very creepy scene that I swear to GOD is a Get Out reference, we get to another part that for me proves that "Impulsive Honesty" idea for Ragatha. She's TRYING to work, but just- kinda can't cause she's all slouchy and all that, to which Zooble gets annoyed

And then Ragatha calls her a "grouch"

She only says this because Zooble's complaining that she's not doing anything. And Ragatha, having impulsive honesty, just complains back only to say something that makes herself laugh

It's just what she's thinking at the moment

And then here's the part where I think a lot of people aren't going to get this right: The Ragatha and Gangle conversation

This scene is VERY important to me. Specifically, with what it shares about Ragatha. First of all, we get LORE-??? She HAD HORSES AT SOME POINT???

And then we get two lines that I can say as someone who has actually recently been so sick while on their period that I had zero filter in the slightest are 100% impulsive honesty

First, we have the "I'm more responsible than you" line. First of all, she's not. She REALLY fucking isn't. She's all bark and no bite she does NOT have the mature attitude it takes to being a manager despite being older. In fact, it's funny she says this because of the fact that she's the ONLY character working under Gangle that's older

She's been in the circus for a while, and that means she also didn't mature from her mindset from whenever she joined in, which I do think it'd be rather young considering Kinger's age

So this "I'm responsible because I'm older" mindset is certainly on the table for why she said this. Probably because she was taught this mindset when growing up

She would NEVER think this is sober I believe though. Again. IMPULSIVE HONESTY. What was on her mind AT THAT EXACT MOMENT

(Also side note: Gangle still clearly cares about Ragatha in this scene, and I think she knows she'd be a bad manager due to her own struggles and flaws)

Of course after the HONESTLY AMAZING RAGGEDY ANDY REFERENCE we get the scene I feel that's gonna make people misunderstand her the most... THIS SCENE.

This whole scene is so interesting about how Ragatha's impulsive honesty works. Because let's be honest... We've ALL had these thoughts. Like em or not, we all have thoughts like this where you find people you care about annoying or undesirable. You never WANT to have them or say them aloud, but you have those thoughts

The difference? Ragatha has no filter. She doesn't know HOW to shut up at this point and time, so she says something she didn't MEAN to say out loud. And the line she says AFTER confirms this:

SHE DOESN'T REALIZE WHAT SHE SAID WAS EVEN MEAN

Yes, it was mean, I can't deny that- but what I'm saying is that there's a lot of thoughts that go through your head every moment of every day, and not every thought you have is desirable

That's the case here. Ragatha, with no filter, WILL say mean things that she'll NEVER say sober. But I find that her even having these thoughts is a bit of foreshadowing for the future. Perhaps she'll either be more likely to hide how she feels more or be more accepting of them after her episode. Guess we'll have to wait and see for that

One more scene that's important gives us full context of what it's like to BE a people pleaser. When Jax and Ragatha interact while she's on the floor. Although more impulsive honesty, in this case it's her realizing her tendencies. Her people pleaser ways

This is her just sort of- realizing she had a weird mindset but doesn't have the right word for it- which I find neat. Not as groundbreaking in my opinion since I always felt she sorta hated Jax with how explosive she usually is with him and all, but her admitting it, even in such a state, is kinda refreshing to hear

Anyway that's my essay over. I hope this can give some new thoughts on Ragatha as a character! She's my favorite for a reason, and I want people to see how fleshed out she really is!

See you another time. Probably with some art too ^^

[threeacttragedy]

Great blog but if all was not good with L and A why was he holding her in the water in Italy. Seemed off

Appreciate the question because it's one that's been on a lot of people's minds for months!

The relationship between Luke and Antonia will always be a mystery. We will never be privy to everything that happened between them. We will never know whether they were serious, casual, phony, simply part of the same friend group, whatever label you want to put on them.

Eventually I will write out my thoughts on Antonia -- because, trust me, I have some (and, no, they're not mean-spirited) -- but to make a long story short, some things to note that also "seem off" are:

Italy was roughly four months ago. We have not seen Luke and Antonia together since. The only interaction appears to be two likes per month from Luke on Antonia's grid.

Even if we're going to consider the Spanish resort pictures, we have to take into consideration that Antonia was removed from Luke's narrative. Luke seemingly filled that grid post with images that were Polin and/or Lukola coded (the two fingers -- that man will never be able to put up two fingers again without evoking a carriage scene; the chaise-style bench; the cake and its accompanying emojis). He also immediately came to the rescue by clarifying the cake picture (effectively squashing any accusations that he had removed Nicola from the cake). Regardless of whether Antonia was there, Luke removed her from his narrative. It was Antonia that tried to slip it back in with her October 25 post. The interesting thing there is that no one would understand her reference to being in Spain except...Lukolas. The general public wouldn't give that picture a second thought.

To my knowledge, Luke didn't like posts from third parties that included Antonia in them over the summer. For example, when Rory posted to his grid on July 6, 2024, he included pictures of Luke and Antonia (separate images). Luke did not like this post. Sienna posted the same day, with a picture that included Antonia. Luke didn't like that one either. I am not saying Luke has to like every post (in fact, I've blogged on this already), but it is something to consider.

After Papsmear, there was really no reason for Luke not to step up and "claim" (gross word, by the way) Antonia. The damage had been done. He could have protected her in some way from the fandom, but he chose to remain quiet. Wait, not quiet, he chose to post his I-Won't-Let-Cressida-Ruin-Our-Evening story.

To be honest, the entire Luke and Antonia situation has had me going back and forth for months. My advice to people is to look at things collectively. Do not look at a single event and decide, oh, yeah, that's the absolute final answer. Instead, use that single event (assuming you find it intriguing enough) as the starting point for your opinion on the matter. Remember to go backwards, forwards, and sideways in your analysis, and be willing to adjust your theory as you collect information.

[seventeenlovesthree]

Koushirou Izumi's clothing style - a meta analysis

When it comes to Digimon and fashion, you can tell that certain characters have - mostly consistent - preferences. Most obviously, every character has colours they are usually (but not exclusively) wearing, certain motives and symbols keep returning... And for some characters, their choice of clothes is - more or less - arc-defining.

While looking for references for some art pieces on Pinterest, I stumbled over one of my favourite Digimon Adventure 02 concept artworks:

We never see Taichi, Sora and Yamato wear their Summer uniform in the series and Koushirou literally only wears it in one episode - but looking at the ensemble here, there was something that caught my eye specifically. And this observation took me down a little rabbit hole in terms of what exactly Koushirou's style is, how it changes through the series - and what it may mean for his character as a whole in my humble opinion.

It simply felt like the perfect opportunity to post all these ideas as a contribution to @izumikoushiroweek 2024 and the prompt "Dressing Koushirou".

Adventure (+ Our War Game), age 10-11:

Analyzing Adventure won't take too long, because we don't have a lot of variety at this point - however, it still gives us the baseline for what we will have to expect for the entirety of the series.

Koushirou wears very "boyish" clothes that can be, more or less, considered to be common for a "computer nerd" in the 90s and early 2000s; wide, if not oversized button-down shirt (big emphasis here!), t-shirt, wide shorts, (colourful) sneakers. It's all "comfort over function" at this point, because, as pointed out, he seems to prefer wide clothes. While his signature (crest) colour is purple, his favourite colour appears to be orange, and there are usually lots of earth/nature tones too.

Honorable mention goes to his trademark Japanese school boy undercut hair with a middle parting, barely able to tame the spikyness.

So let's see what elements he will keep and what will change:

02 (+ Diablomon Strikes Back), age 13-14:

As mentioned, the concept art above was what inspired to make this post in the first place - because I couldn't help but notice his pants there. If you compare the way he wears the Summer school uniform to the way Taichi and Yamato wear it, three things come to mind:

The older boys wear the shirt very casually, whereas Koushirou has tugged it in - which is definitely a change to how loosely he wore his button-downs before.

Taichi and Yamato also don't wear ties in comparison to Koushirou. So far so good, these are the most obvious aspects...

And then there are the pants - which are particularly less "form fitting" than it is the case for Taichi and Yamato. Considering how he used to wear wide shorts in Adventure before, one may think that this is related to "comfort over form" again, but it collides a little with how "correctly" he wears the rest of the uniform. So my assumption here is: In one of the dramas he mentions "one of the female 5th graders in computer club who is taller than me" and we can definitely assume that he was referring to Miyako there. He says that he is "working very hard" to catch up... Which leads me to believe that he wears wide pants in anticipation of getting a growth spurt. Which is not only practical in general - but would also spare him/his mom the stress of constantly buying new uniforms.

In sum, we learned that he is the only male character in the entire season who wears his uniform correctly - with the spunky shoes being the only glimpse of "individualism" there. This is an interesting contrast - and will actually turn out to be quite a pattern for him: When it comes to important duties and business, he will make sure to wear his clothes appropriately and neatly (which, at this point, is important if you consider him taking so much responsibility for the 02 kids as their team mom dad). Outside of that, we still see the habit of wearing more comfortable clothes:

Koushirou definitely likes to wear layers (similarly to but not in the same way as Taichi btw), the good old button-downs or hoodies over shirts in particular, it's all very cozy and simple - and while he hasn't completely abandoned his associated colour orange, he seems to have adopted a second favourite colour to his wardrobe as an addition to the earth tones: Green. We later learn that his mother used to buy the clothes for him, so based on her excited expression in the first shot, watching him put on his green school uniform blazer for the first time, they may have realized how well the colour complements his red hair. The wide shorts and pants are also still there and he also seems to prefer basic long-sleeves (and stripes) at this point (which may or may not have been inspired by his own Digimon partner's colour schemes, very sneaky).

Last but not least we have the hairstyle - he's been growing out the undercut to even everything out and starts the season off with a VERY short cut and a side-parting. Very neat and, at first glance, very easy to tame, since the spikes are a lot shorter at this point. The side parting did not last for long though, so the middle-parting returns through the course of the season and he also grows it out a little.

Overall, the dichotomy of "business serious-casual" and "comfy-cozy" is already coming through, but we haven't come to the heavy lifting yet:

Tri (+ the Stageplay), age 16:

As I have briefly pointed out in the intro, for some characters, fashion is an arc-defining factor. For teenage!Koushirou, his interest in fashion is basically a B- or C-plot that - in my opinion - could have been handled in better ways, but I will get to that.

First of all, let's start with the "easy stuff": Hair and uniforms.

His way of wearing his uniform hasn't changed much from 02; he is still wearing blazer, shirt and tie "correctly" - but his pants are not as wide as they used to anymore, as can be seen on the promo art I have used above. (Since he has surpassed Mimi in height and is basically as tall as Sora, he may not expect to grow much further, so he probably chose more fitted pants at this point.)

The hair, especially the spikes and middle parting, are still pretty much the same and thus - probably - still very difficult to tame. It's notable that he has grown it out more in comparison to 02 though.

Now onto his private wardrobe: We see him confiding in Takeru, telling him that now that he goes to high school, he intends to pick clothes for himself, but... Shopping has proven to be quite difficult for... Various reasons. So instead, he created a software to generate outfits for him, with... Varying degrees of success. So through the course of the first few movies, it's heavily implied that he's making use of that software and also Takeru's advice - who appears to be a little bit of a mix between a "k-pop-fanboy / hobby-novelist with a Starbucks order in hand" and "an absolute fashion disaster" himself, but he seems to enjoy being Koushirou's wingman and assumes that his sudden interest in fashion stems from him wanting to impress Mimi.

And this is where things get a little more complicated. I will not go into too much detail about why I think that this was the wrong approach for his arc, because I have already talked about it in full length here. To summarize it very shortly: Koushirou's arc had ALWAYS been about him learning to be himself. That him being the way he is is perfectly fine and that he doesn't have to hide his true self - being adopted, smart, into computers, with all his flaws and quirks, whatever it may be. Him trying to bend over backwards to impress somebody else contradicts his arc and the only reason to include it at this point is for him to come to the same conclusion again. Of course there are underlying insecurities all over the place - especially since he actively seeks Mimi's approval. The school festival should have culminated in a scene in which he and Mimi - dressed up in a costume that was heavily criticized before, thus criticizing Mimi's way of being as well - should have had a talk that went along the lines of: "You know what? It doesn't matter what you wear, as long as you are comfortable." (Which... In itself leaves room for a lot of subtext as well, but I will get to that by the end of the post.)

So long story short, what we see through the course of the first three movies is him being quite experimental: Overalls, wild patterns like koi karps, lots of layers and a peculiar interest in bowties... He also adds several new colours to his arsenal, reds, blues, even his signature colour purple makes a prominent appearance. All for the sake of appearing "less plain", and to have more variation in his style.

While he has abandoned shorts from his wardrobe at this point, he - just like Taichi - likes to wear 3/4 length pants. One style of clothing he hasn't abandoned is his button-down shirts and (open) collared shirts in general. This has been a constant so far and I doubt that we will ever see it change, since they basically feel like "comfort clothes" for him. The interesting part here is, like we discovered before, the consistent contrast between "private" and "important occasions/business settings":

Once he's out with his parents for their anniversary, once he shows up at the school festival in a whole suit, once he wears his school uniform: He WILL wear the (bow-)tie correctly, the collar will be tight, the shirt will be tugged in, no funky shoes either.

Once he's in a private, less "official" setting, the collar will be more loose (!), the shirt will (most likely) be pulled out of his pants, the style will be more comfy, the shoes will be more "funky."

We've seen that since 02 already and it's nicely represented in Tri as well - the stageplay even dared to merge two of his outfits from the first Tri movie, a casual and a serious one, to create the perfectly "nerdy" mix for him: (Shortened) Shirt and vest from the anniversary (with an open collar and without the bowtie), 3/4 pants and yellow sneakers from the "let's look for distortions" scene. So we can tell - he DOES have preferences and may not even need a software to tell him what he naturally gravitates towards!

So let's fast forward a few years to see how it'll all develop...

Kizuna (+ The Beginning), age 21-23:

Unfortunately, we don't really get a glimpse of his private wardrobe as a young adult - but we can still be pretty sure that the patterns we spotted before are still going strong:

First of all, it can be assumed that he stopped experimenting for the most part: The hairstyle went back to the roots, for whatever reason he returned to his elementary school undercut, the middle parting and spikes are still there, but less wild. The associated colour orange also returns - and even makes its way into his business wardrobe, as he is back to wearing neckties instead of bowties.

That aside, we mainly see him in his work attire as the boss of his own tech company: White shirt with the orange tie and a closed collar (short-sleeved in Summer, long-sleeved in Autumn), black pants + brown belt, black business shoes.

And once again: Depending on his surroundings, the difference in how he presents himself is still intact to some degree: The outfit is still the same, but once he's just with his friends, shirt and pants appear to be wider again, whereas they seem to be more tailored once he is in "business mode" - this can be seen in particular in The Beginning, where he function as PR Digimon expert and gives interviews to the media.

Long story short: He kept his dichotomy alive for the majority of the series.

The epilogue, age 38:

Even the epilogue shows us that he could never give up the wide, collared shirts (wide collar, no tie, pulled out of the pants!) in nature tones after all. The most notable part here is probably the hair - not only did he grow it out to the point that the spikes vanished almost completely (aside from the long, pointy bangs), but he apparently managed to FINALLY get the side-parting going after all.

Final thoughts (and a few headcanons):

I've once conducted a whole post on how I felt like Koushirou broke a few gender stereotypes in interesting ways for a series that was created in the 1990s and early 2000s (and not only because he was the only male character who basically never had a male voice actor or because 02 basically turned him into "the mom" of the group). I feel like it's no coincidence that his arc and the way it is portrayed actually speaks to a lot of people who consider themselves as neurodivergent, non-binary or trans. It's a story of self-acceptance, about someone who used to question his whereabouts, who didn't know where he came from, who he was. He didn't consider himself to have much "worth" aside from being a human extension of his laptop and also tended to mask his insecurities (at least in front of his parents) with a polite and very correct demeanour.

The way fashion is interwoven into it all may not have been conducted perfectly, but the fact that it is tied to self-discovery still leaves room for interpretations and headcanons. While his personal clothing style has always been rather "boyish" (and not feminine in the slightest), him gravitating towards oversized clothing in private settings while conforming (!) to a very correct and neat dressing style for important occasions still is a curious contrast in this regard. Hiding behind his computer, hiding behind a software to tell him how to dress (and being uncomfortable going shopping physically), hiding his generally slender body behind (mostly) wide clothing because he may - or may not - experience something along the lines of gender-dysphoria is a headcanon that a lot of people can relate to. Especially if you take Tri overall as a metaphor for him figuring out "his preferences" (in both sexuality and gender and thus the scene in which he looks at a kimono - presumably made by Sora - will forever live rent-free in my head, especially because it is a more feminine piece this time).

In the end, it can all be just a matter of perspective - the most likely explanation is that he simply prefers comfort in private settings, but can easily adjust towards a "serious business mode" whenever the situation requires it. Through the course of the series, you may argue that the characters that had the most influence on his casual style were Taichi (layers), Mimi and Takeru (being a little more experimental). On the other hand, you may also take Tri as your average "the nerd cannot talk to women and doesn't know how to dress, so he makes disastrous choices" trope and call it a day. But personally, I feel like, since Koushirou does have obvious preferences that are mostly consistent, it really is more a period of self-exploration. And like I said before: I wish the outspoken conclusion for him had been: "As long as you feel comfortable, you can wear whatever you want."

[terukotime]

thinking about Ace and Eden again and how i really don't want either of them to be the culprit lol. i just feel like either one being the blackened would be a waste of their potential. i know in Danganronpa that's bound to happen with some characters, but Ace and Eden both have traits and arcs that could run through the whole series, or at the very least, to the next chapter. while a big part of any killing game story is losing characters quickly and having their arcs and growth cut short (we've already seen as much with Arei, rest in peace queen), Eden and Ace have a lot of prominence in the Trust vs. Distrust theme of drdt, on either side respectively. and they both have a lot of potential for their views to change. i can totally see Eden's optimism finally starting to crack, and she begins to lose hope in trusting others and thinking they're good-intentioned, especially since she was put in virtually the same place that Teruko was in in the last trial, with everyone distrusting her and thinking she's the culprit. though Ace hasn't had much of a catalyst to alter his beliefs yet, there's still hope for his views to change. he's a lot like how Teruko began to behave after the first trial, thinking he can't trust or rely on anybody and pushing everyone away as much as possible.

[giant-ass analysis under the cut. i didn't expect myself to go on such a huge rant, but i realized i have quite a lot of thoughts on the matter lmao. there are probably a lot of hot takes in here and i know there will be people who won't agree with me, so take this all with a grain of salt, pls & thx]

while Ace's role in the trials is mostly confined to causing conflict and being a comedic relief, he's expressed being committed to investigating the scene of Arei's death. while sure, if Ace is the culprit, his desire to investigate could very well be a ruse. but for the sake of his potential, it'd be far more interesting if him being innocent results in him going on to investigate more thoroughly and contribute substantially to the trials. Arei did have potential for a full redemption arc, but her death doesn't feel narratively unfulfilled. its tragedy not only allows the audience to further sympathize with Arei and see just how nuanced she was, but it's also meaningful to the members of the cast, and will serve as a point of motivation for them, whether that be to maintain hope in escaping or giving into despair.

at least, that's how it's set up to be. i feel that if either Eden or Ace are the culprit, Arei's death loses a good deal of its weight and meaning. especially if the culprit is Eden; even if she had "well-intentioned" motivations for killing her (as well-intentioned as murder motivations can be, anyway), Arei's breakdown, desire to change, and tragically short path to redemption is rendered pointless. her want to be a good person will have affected virtually no one. her death will have only held significance to David, as most of the cast didn't care for Arei or hated her, much like Ace.

while Culprit Ace won't render Arei's death *as* meaningless as Culprit Eden, it sure would make Ace's own death feel pretty meaningless. he'd be dying in a trial where he fully believes everyone is cruel, everyone hates him, and no one cares about him at all. his shift in his belief can't really be considered much of an arc or even a regression; he just descends further into his hatred and paranoia until he dies doing exactly what the killing game expects of him. Ace, a character who has prioritized his self-preservation all throughout the series, will have thrown that away for...what? revenge against Nico? would he really place his hatred for them over his fear and will to live? Ace is impulsive and narrow-minded, but he's not without *some* sense. if Ace were to be the culprit of this chapter, what would he have contributed to the story? what would his existence have meant? what would he have provided that the story can't progress without? he'd have zero growth, zero stakes, and zero relevance to the ongoing plot, aside from unrevealed backstory (most of which will likely go unsaid in the main story if he were to die now). do i think Ace is going to play a significant role in the overarching story? no. not as much as characters like Xander and David, anyway. but he still has so much to offer as either a survivor or later victim/culprit, as we'll have spent more time with him, gotten a better understanding of him, and possibly be able to sympathize with him, like we do with Arei.

and here's another thing i've been thinking about, too: all the deceased so far have a point of significance to the story. Xander has a connection to the larger-scale mystery surrounding the killing game and a complex relationship with David. he continues to be relevant in the story even after his death and will likely always be.

Min is not only a cautionary tale to the rest of the cast, but her story follows a very cohesive path:

she's a girl committed to her academics and has been led to believe it's the only thing about her that matters ->

while not a social butterfly, she still enjoys spending time with others and making the most of the situation she's in ->

she forms a bond with Teruko, someone who has shown to value both her intelligence and her personality ->

she finds Teruko being murdered by Xander, and instead of being a bystander, she takes action to save her friend ->

she realizes that what she did has jeopardized her own life, a life that she does not center around herself. her family depends on her having a successful future, a future she has been groomed to achieve since she was little and has made several sacrifices for ->

though Teruko is her friend, Min prioritizes her self-preservation. there are too many things that are objectively more important to her than the life of a girl she's known for a couple days ->

still, she cannot shake her guilt and chooses to remain at Teruko's side throughout the investigation ->

she's desperate to maintain her lie, even if it means framing the friend she tried to save and getting everyone else killed. she fights and fights until she can no longer ->

she loses everything. her life, her future, the trust of her friends, the trust and bond she had with Teruko. Min always had good intentions. but even good-intentioned people can do terrible things.

Min's story throughout Chapter 1 alone is very digestible and easy to follow. even without knowing the greater contexts of her life, like her family's financial situation or her groomed future of being a Hope's Peak student, her motives and actions make complete sense. you don't come away from it feeling like she acted out of character or that her death was hasty or sloppily written. her death has a lot of meaning and impact on the other characters.

and that alone makes Culprit Eden or Culprit Ace unsatisfying. Culprit Eden would not only undermine Arei's death and potentially lead her into character derailment, it'd also just be Min's story regurgitated in a much less compelling manner. Teruko has already had her trust broken, and while it seems like she's slowly starting to see the value in relying on others again in the Chapter 2 trial, what good would Eden's death do for her? even if it causes Teruko to regress, what will change? wouldn't Teruko go back to being the way she was acting at the start of the chapter, undoing whatever growth was already beginning to happen? will she be unaffected by Eden's death, or at least act like it? will it somehow strengthen her desire to trust and rely on others again? (it won't.) Eden's role as the chapter 2 culprit really won't do much good for the story, regardless of what her reasons are. everything we've learned about Eden and Arei, both together and individually, will be irrelevant. the significance of Arei wanting to be Eden's friend unconditionally, something that we learn is so significant for her because of her secret, will turn out to actually be pointless because Eden will have killed the one person who expressed they'd be her friend her regardless of who she is.

Ace simply hasn't done enough in the story to establish his deeper character. with Xander, Min, and Arei, we already got glimpses into their core beliefs, their true selves, their moral standings. if those aspects of a character are only revealed after they're confirmed to be the culprit, then honestly...that's just bad writing. i don't like saying that, but i firmly believe it. not only do we hardly know anything about Ace's backstory, we just don't know a whole lot about him other than surface-level things the show outright tells us: he's fearful and paranoid, he doesn't like being a jockey, he's hotheaded and unsociable, he developed an eating disorder due to the strict requirements of his talent, he's hardly ever had any friends, he doesn't think anyone cares about him. and while a lot of inferences can be made from that information, it's still very speculative, and even a bonus episode after his execution wouldn't be able to cover enough of his backstory and personal life for it to feel justified narratively. you simply can't kill him off without letting us see another side of his character and have it better the story.

if either of them do, unfortunately, turn out to be the true culprit of the case...i will be very disappointed. i won't drop drdt or criticize drdtdev for their decisions, but i will still personally believe it to be a bad choice. nevertheless, it's not my story, and i will continue to support and enjoy the show regardless. i have a lot of faith in drdtdev's skills as a storyteller, but no story can be completely perfect. Ace or Eden being the true culprit won't destroy the show as a whole, and i'm not trying to imply that it's a fundamentally bad choice, i just think it'd be very difficult to pull off and have it feel natural, organic, and satisfying for the ongoing story. i will neither be optimistic nor pessimistic about what happens in the next coming episodes, i will simply wait and see. i just wanted to get all my thoughts out here, and hopefully i didn’t come across as aggressive or snobbish or anything. this is a free to watch series, after all, and i enjoy and appreciate all the hard work that has gone into it and made it possible.

[thegreenthepeacetheorange]

On Gale and patriarchy/toxic masculinity

I really want to do a reading and analysis of Gale's character as upholding patriarchal values and expectations of toxic masculinity because this stuck out to me as I listened to the CF audiobook before bed last night. From chapter 1 of CF:

I think of Gale, who is only really alive in the woods, with its fresh air and sunlight and clean, flowing water. I don't know how he stands it. Well ... yes, I do. He stands it because it's the way to feed his mother and two younger brothers and sister. And here I am with buckets of money, far more than enough to feed both our families now, and he won't take a single coin. It's even hard for him to let me bring in meat, although he'd surely have kept my mother and Prim supplied if I'd been killed in the Games. I tell him he's doing me a favor, that it drives me nuts to sit around all day. Even so, I never drop off the game while he's at home. Which is easy since he works twelve hours a day. 

Highlighted the part that really made my ears perk up. There's something to be said about Gale's stubbornness and his pride, which is very similar to Katniss's but he always takes it another step. Whereas Katniss learns to accept others' help, to forge these connections, Gale doesn't. It's giving "I'm the man and this is my job." For someone who wants nothing more than to help keep his family alive, it's weird that he refuses any help.

At first I thought maybe he doesn't want her money because it's from the Capitol and he despises it that much but she says it's hard for him to even have her bring meat in from hunting. Which points to his pride. He wants to be the provider. The one taking care of her. And it leaves Katniss in a kinda tricky place. It's like she's walking on eggshells around him here - purposely not dropping off game at his house when he's there.

Compare that with Peeta (which as a reader, like Katniss, you end up doing when either of these two guys come up) and it's so different. We know Peeta is strong and smart etc. He's not a hunter but he's also still a provider (of bread). And he has his own pride too. But going through the Games, Peeta and Katniss have a balanced push and pull. She helps him, he helps her. She takes care of him, he takes care of her. When he's hurt, he lets Katniss help him. He's not too proud to try and do it himself. Same with Katniss. She lets him take care of her when she needs it. And this is something they learn from the Games, particularly Katniss; how to accept help from others. And we see her development in this over the course of the trilogy.

Gale is interesting in that I really think he is one of the characters in the books who really doesn't grow as such. In my mind, he's rooted in place in many ways. From his ideals, to his thoughts, to his strategies, to his actions, he doesn't really develop much. He has moments - but a lot of those moments are tied to wanting to apologise to or be better for Katniss (and still he comes up short). I'm thinking of the moment where he makes her feel bad for defending her prep team in 13 and then later tries to smooth things over in the canteen by being kind. I believe that's something he did only for Katniss. She's his motivation to be different (but turns out that's not enough still.)

I'll maybe build on this another time but this passage made me think of what he says when he sees Katniss after Prim's death. "Does it matter? You'll always be thinking about it... That was the one thing I had going for me. Taking care of your family." Instead of apologising for helping to create such bombs, instead of asking for forgiveness, instead of crying with her, instead of expressing his sorrow and regret at what's happened, this is all he's able to say. Which is odd to me. To not even try to comfort your supposed closest friend at such a time. To say that's all you had going for you? It's this relationship of transaction. 'I take care of your family and hunt with you so you should end up marring me.' I really don't think that's far from what Gale expected.

I think there's even more to say about Gale as a patriarchal character but I've rambled on enough at this point. But his attitude and perspective throughout the book, while aligned with that of a traumatised young adult in the midst of oppression, also aligns heavily with patriarchal constructs. The way he thinks of war and people and human relationships, the way he thinks of fighting and death, and the way he thinks of doing whatever you have to do to achieve your end, no matter what happens or who gets hurt in pursuit of it. If anyone has any reading on Gale in these areas I'd be so interested in it!

[kerubimcrepin]

An analysis of That One Moment from Wakfu OVA - Book 2, Ush

Technically, this post is a part 4 of my liveblog, but still...

Today we will be talking about the interaction that I am most mentally ill about in the entirety of Wakfu.

Before I go completely off the rails: I think it's cute that despite everything, Keke still cares a lot about Ecaflip and Ecaflipus, and Atcham still cares about killing people for wronging him.

Things have changed after six centuries, but they're still just themselves. Anyway.

There is so much happening here. SO much. Let me break it down point by point:

The most obvious one: by addressing them as kids, he pulls his "I am roleplaying as your father for these strangers who don't know anything about our weird familial situation, and you will obey me" card. This is important because:

Kerubim and Atcham know how much Joris cares about the Brotherhood of Tofu and their opinions of him, to the point of going a little bit crazy at the thought of offending Yugo and Adamai.

So, even if him pulling the "I'm your dad" card is a bit egocentric, they can't say anything about that openly — because Joris would be so, so sad if everyone in this room knew he lives with his dad for 600 years now. He'd be so mad too, because "papychaaa, chaaaoncle stop embarrassing me in front of my friends!"

We KNOW Kerubim cares about not embarrassing Joris — because in the Dofus MMO he won't shut the hell up about his 20-30 dead loved ones from 200 years ago, says a Singular Thing about Atcham, and absolutely nothing about his very much alive son/fake dad, at best managing a little "we all want someone small in our lives..."

In my opinion, while some families are built on mutual roasting, the Crepin-Jurgen household houses three people with very fragile senses of self-esteem, so anything resembling roasting is usually light, exclusive to when they're all alone, and never about things that they actually hate about themselves ("short, weird, ugly, hypocrite, weak, overthinker"; "ugly" (some bald jokes allowed, but it depends on the mood); and "narcissist who kept his son in a hazardous environment for the first 7 years of his life and gave him 30 mental illnesses").

Besides the fact that Keke and Atch care about Joris making friends, — for the three of them (but especially Joris and Atcham), feeling belittled is the easiest way to ruin a relationship irreparably. If you insult them, it's just over. And I don't mean it in a funny-haha cutesy way. Sometimes, people actually dislike when they are insulted repeatedly about something they legitimately hate about themselves, and, y'know, hate everyone who hurts them this way? And you will not believe it, but people who actually care about them know and respect that. Because they love them.

So yeah, the three of them are all creatures of pride, and they respect that about each other, — which is why would never put each other in a position where they might get laughed at. (like suddenly revealing the Dad Roleplay and "600 years of living with his dad" sort of interpersonal lore)

However, being creatures of pride, I don't think Kerubim and Atcham are happy about Joris doing this. Especially because of the next point: Joris uses his position as their roleplay-dad and Asocial Son/Nephew Who Needs To Impress His Friends to essentially force them to let him go into a battle alone. Essentially, this line is translated as "you have glass bones and paper skin. you can't follow me because I said so, and you can't protest without looking weird." into Normal Human Tongue.

Joris does this for a very simple reason: they are weak (though so is he), and he's scared — he loves them! It's normal that he doesn't want to see them be hurt! Even if they have multiple lives, but they're not infinite lives, and it doesn't make every time they die NOT scary and traumatizing! He wants Kerubim and Atcham to go and rest, and he's also excited that they're finally meeting his friends.

However, unlike them, he only has one life — and they hate to see him hurt just as much, if not more, considering how much more danger he's always in:

They would really rather not leave their p'tit Jojo Joris alone with things they know are dangerous, — like Ush, — while Joris is weakened. No matter how much he wants to fight Ush one-on-one.

So, they refuse and even joke about him in the most subtle and funny way: using his own little game to make fun of him, and completely refuse his offer of leaving to rest in Sadida Kingdom, — coupled with an overexaggerated little shrug, and rubbing their statuses as so-called "sons" and "father" in his face.

These three come up with very elaborate rituals to communicate things that take normal people like ten seconds.

[atlitudes]

I'm Cataloging Every Occurrence of the Piano in Malevolent in a Spreadsheet for Leitmotif Analysis. No, I'm Not Kidding.

As the title of this post reads, I've spent the last few weeks listening to every episode of Malevolent and logging every time the piano is heard (both within the story and as background score), to analyze the data for leitmotif/music based theory-crafting. I originally was planning on getting through the entire series before posting anything, but I am very quickly realizing that this is going to take me a while, and I start a new semester in two weeks, so there is a high likelihood I will not finish before I get too busy to chug through as many episodes a day as I am now. I'm on episode 16/44 and I've already logged 137 instances of piano music. I'm not even halfway done. And this is all I've been doing for the past multiple days. For this reason, I've decided to post the link to the spreadsheet before finishing.

If you're familiar with Malevolent, and just how much music is in it, you might be asking, "OP, are you utterly fucking insane?" And well, dear reader, the answer to that is probably yes, but while you might call it madness, I call it love. So, before getting into the meat of things, I wanted to explain why I even decided to do this. Spoilers ahead for Malevolent (obvious, but yeah). If you don't give a single shit about why I did this and want to get straight to the sheet, scroll to the bottom for the link.

So. About 2 weeks ago I finished my first listen-through of Malevolent. One thing about the most recent episodes struck me as very very significant: John and Arthur's "collective force" being titled as the Dies Irae.

Now, a full-bodied explanation of why I find this so important and the possible implications will come at a later date, but long story short, the Dies Irae is a very significant piece of musical literature-- it is, perhaps, the most commonly quoted leitmotif of the past 800 years, and it symbolizes death. So, understandably, the Themes of this kinda sent me down a spiral.

But the Dies Irae being mentioned in such a way also got me thinking: music is a pretty integral part of Malevolent. So, is the Dies Irae quoted anywhere in its soundtrack? I suddenly got very very excited at this prospect, particularly if it might be in Faroe's Song, because well... god that would hurt lol. I scoured the available songs on the bandcamp aaaaand... no luck (as far as I can tell). Regardless, even if the Dies Irae wasn't a part of the soundtrack, I became curious about what kind of leitmotifs were in the podcast, and what they might mean. And so, the spreadsheet was born.

I explain this in the User Guide part of the sheet (please read it before going through the rest btw), but I only track the piano parts of the podcast. The reason for this is two-fold:

First, score wise, piano is very easy for me to pick apart, and I don't see a lot of significance in the suspenseful string music for horror moments (though I don't deny there might be something to it, I simply won't be able to find it.) To me, the piano is also significantly more important than the strings because it's a notable part of the story-- Arthur and his relation to the instrument is a key part of the plot, and multiple of the piano compositions are made by him. For this reason, I found tracking the piano in the podcast worthwhile.

Second, I also don't touch any of the non-original radio tracks in the podcast (i.e. You Call It Madness (I Call It Love)) because this video by The Final Fantasmagorie already does an excellent job of covering them (please check it out!!), and I felt it would be redundant, especially considering the astronomical amount of ground I already have to cover. If these tracks start being featured as leitmotifs in the piano music then... well, I might change my mind, but so far, no dice.

If I noticed a non-piano piece of music (such as the wraith humming in Ep3) that I haven't found any analysis of whatsoever, I also noted it just so there was some record. Other than that, just piano tracks.

Explanations and disclaimers out of the way, here is the link to the spreadsheet. I might open it up to comments and/or editors at some point, but for now, it's just available to viewers. Once again, please read the disclaimer and user guide before the rest of the sheets.

Thanks for reading, I know this was a very long post, and I appreciate it if you've beared with me! Enjoy!

[outismm]

Hi- I just wanted to thank you for your Huck posts, it's like the only positive thing in his tag and it made me happy 😭 He's so good and deserves more appreciation! Have you seen season 2 yet? I would LOVE to hear your thoughts!

EEEEEEE HELLLOOOOO!!!!! This ask made me so incredibly happy. There will never be a time when I am not ready to Scream from the rooftops about Huck. Okie this is all just going to be rambling. Bouncing off the walls, giggling, kicking my feet, etc. Spoilers for acts 1 + 2, I'll probably rb this with more thoughts after act 3.

Being bisexual is so embarrassing bc while other people are doing in-depth analysis of the beauty that is this show, and I'm over here spinning a goober around that has,,, MAYBE 10 mins of screen-time, or less.

I DON'T EVEN CARE THOUGH MY HUSBAND IS BACK!!! WE'RE SO BACK!!!!!!!

Truly the instant I clocked his glasses I started squealing and pacing my room MNASDMAN there is no hope for me.

As expected, babygirl is not doing well! The moldy food was a good touch. The terrors are terroring.

Also not Huck related - but loved the Moses vibes Victor was bringing out this scene? Lots of Moses imagery w/ him, just a great move on the writers + animators part, considering his backstory.

It's really important to me that he's terrible at this MANSDMAN

Not only bc it's really Woughe (tm), but just,,, I do love that Huck is a coward? He's a coward in a very human way. 99% of what he does is purely out of desperation.

Just a great character trait tbh!

Also the fact that he's so hesitant gives me the vibes that he's probably never/rarely done this? Like :

This is not the stance of a man who mugs people on the regular MANDSMAN he looks so profoundly out of his depth. The second Victor starts walking towards him instead of trying to run, he starts freakin' the fuck out.

Either he's not used to doing this, or he's used to doing this to ppl who don't/won't/can't fight back. Ack.

^^ He also makes a little sob here when he's holding up the knife. Very important to me.

UHHNGHNOUGHH!!!!

They fixed his hairline and took away his stutter and de-aged him - which are all tragic for me specifically, BUT that's forgiven bc YIPPEEEEEEEE he no longer looks like he's on the verge of death MNADMANSDMN.

I'll forgive Hextech Jesus for hitting him with the Twink Beam. for now.

Victor DID however take away his beautiful brown eyes, and that cannot be absolved.

LOVE how the marks on his face line-up w/ where Victor touched him. Magnificent. Amazing. Kissing the artists with tongue.

Also can't believe I never noticed this before, but the chip in his tooth? Wagh <3

I do appreciate them getting a bit of not-quite-closure? Honestly just nice to see Vi and Huck interacting again after the whole Silco fiasco.

Also - have we ever seen Huck stand upright??? I think?? this might genuinely be the first time we see him at full height???

He's really not as short as he seems!! He's just always curled into himself like a pangolin. Love that deeply.

Also appreciate him getting a gun pointed at him again, always a good time. I love seeing him scared and stressed out <3 MNASDMNAD

He still reacts the same, too! Shoulders all tense, a lil leaned back, lips pursed. Idk I just like how the animators keep the Vibes of characters. All those little traits.

Hm.

I don't approve of him being in a cult but I DO approve of him being in a dress. So once again it balances out.

To whatever artist(s) on the team decided that outfit for him, I'm transferring my savings to your bank account.

No comment.

Actually yes comment - seeing him not back down from a threat is such a contrast to how he usually acts. Woughe. Cult Commune Induced Character Development (mixture of yays and boos)

It's interesting to see how while Victor is able to cure ailments, it also pulls away aspects of the individual's personality. Like that's Huck but that isn't Huck, y'know? We see it way more obviously w/ Salo in ep 4, which is real cool

AND AGAIN, NOTHIN' GOOD LASTS FOR LONG.

Can't wait to see the consequences of this on his physical and mental health <3 need to see him going through it tbh. He will find peace eventually.

Not yet though. get up you gangly fuck there's still more terrors to experience AKJDSAKDJ

I feel like he still has quite a lot of Character Arc To Character Arc so I doubt he's just gonna be like. A Corpse And/Or Corpse-Adjacent. Next act. t'would be very disappointing AMSDNAMDN.

OUGHEEEEE. OKAY. once again anyone who read through all this gets a cookie and a little flower as a hat. runs away.

[sweet-and-insane]

Idk about you guys, but Adam's rant before his death kinda reminded me of Angel's breakdown after being rejected by Husk. Both their rants were about how they were hot shit, and the contents of the rants being sexual in nature. Angel yells about how people would KILL for a chance to fuck him, while Adam yells about how him fucking Eve is the reason everyone existed in the first place.

Both of them also talk about sex a lot, and it's the main part of their personality. Angel is like that because he feels like that's how he has to be, likely due to pressure to be like how he's portrayed in the movies he's known for. Many "fans" don't like when celebrities don't act the same way from the media they're known for, and if his fans aren't happy with how he acts, Valentino probably won't be ether.

The whole reason Adam existed in the first place was to breed more humans. Nothing else until he became an angel. All he had was fruit to live off of, and Lilith. When Lilith ran off, she was easily replaced by Eve. Adam could have been just as easy to replace with another man willing to breed if HE had been the one who ran off. But he didn't, because he had nothing else besides Lilith/Eve, and had no idea that Lucifer could have let him join him like Lilith did. So he stayed, and fulfilled his life purpose.

To make this analysis even worse, he was probably really young at the time. His personality makes me think of a sexually active teen who's probably aggressive due to hormones. Being born at that age would make him more likely to fulfill his role God gave him.

In short, it's likely that Adam has sexual trauma as well, and is the reason he acts like a fuck boy all the time. But that's just my theory.

[cosmicallylyss]

Blue Lock Baseball AU

Hello everyone I am a baseball/softball enjoyer and would like to share my thoughts about what positions I think the Blue Lock boys would play! This will be multipart as ideas will come to me sporadically, with analysis under the cut.

Characters included in this part are: Egoist 4, Raichi, Barou, Aryu, & Aiku

Isagi Yoichi:

Left fielder. Now you might be saying "lyss why are you putting the protagonist in the outfield??" and to that I say 1) this is baseball not soccer 2) if you don't think this position is important you don't know the sport. If a ball is headed for the outfield it's most likely headed somewhere between LF/CF and those players will need good communication in order to coordinate who's going for what. Despite Isagi being a beast on the field to his rivals, we know he can do teamwork exceptionally well. Left field also requires great knowledge of the game, and his meta-vision being able to predict what the runners will do will be able to help him by making the perfect throws to the infield for a given situation. He's got a great view of the entire field and although he probably won't be making any outs aside from outfield catches (which he can make a lot of!!!) he is indispensable when it comes to holding off the runners from advancing.

Bachira Meguru:

I want to put him at second base. The middle infield has him bouncing around a lot, as he'll have to cover both second and first base depending on which way the ball is hit, and I am solid in my belief that Bachira can handle that. As a technical player, I really like putting him in this position as I imagine him getting a lot of contact with the ball and being a playmaker for the team. Tagging runners, getting a cut from the outfield, and just generally getting a read of the field by being in the middle of it has me solid that he'll be able to make great plays from this position. I imagine that Bachira's monster/instinct has him making a lot of double plays. He'll be able to get someone out at second and then make a great, yet unexpected throw to first or home for another out.

Chigiri Hyoma:

He's so centerfielder to me. With how well he's performing in Manshine right now it makes sense to me to give him a sort of "leadership role" in the outfield. He'd definitely be the player in the outfield who has to move around the most and I think his speed would be best utilized here. Whether its for making amazing running/diving catches or running in to pick up a ground ball that manages to slip past second and short, I think putting Chigiri in centerfield gives him the opportunity to use a lot of his potential. Of course pinch runner Chigiri would be fun to see as well, maybe he's not in the batting lineup but when the pitcher or catcher gets on base he subs in for them to run the bases. Honestly thinking about CF Chigiri was what got me wanting to write this whole thing, he means so so much to me.

Kunigami Rensuke:

Third baseman. Yes I'm foaming at the mouth about this thought. Sue me. Not only does Kunigami's strength make him a great person to put here because of his ability to make great throws to both first and home, I think it's best to have your more physically dominant players toward the last bases. As the opponent progresses along the bases, it becomes more and more vital to get them out before they can make it home (duh). I think Kunigami, especially post-wildcard would be really aggressive on the base (occasionally to his detriment), enjoying tagging out players rather than going with an easier route of just stepping on the bag. He's probably also a clean-up hitter or at least close to the top of the lineup. I want to imagine he's also a lefty batter, maybe he's a slap hitter and it annoys everyone else. But yeah I really want to see him dominating third base and the whole foul line honestly.

Raichi Jingo:

He would be such a great shortstop okay just listen to me. The nature of middle infield is running around a lot (covering third, covering second, backing up second) and although it's not a lot of distance to cover, you're alternating between these positions a lot and Raichi definitely has the stamina to keep up with the demands of middle infield. We've seen it. I also think his tenacity is great for making him an awesome shortstop. He'll fully throw himself in front of a line drive to catch it (this works most of the time), ignoring the sting in his hand. I also imagine if a runner is about to steal third and Raichi is in possession of the ball, he'll charge at the runner to fully scare them back into staying at second before getting the ball back to the pitcher.

Barou Shouei:

The most egotistical pitcher you will ever meet dear god. His whole king shtick with the whole field revolving around his playstyle??? You literally can not put him in any other position. He's a menace on the field, trash talk both to his team and his opponent, but his money is where his mouth is. His great physicality would lend itself to fast, accurate pitches, but I imagine pre-development his short temper would lead to a lot of outbursts that affect his accuracy. He will get angry every time he doesn't pitch a no-hitter. Every time he's reminded that he has a whole team behind him to back him up if the batters hit, he'll bark that it's just him versus the batters and he will strike them out. Barou is the guy you don't wanna hit against, because he's good and he's annoying about it.

Aryu Jyubei:

This is a first baseman. Hear me out. First base gets quite a bit of action so Aryu's got the opportunity to be flashy and get a lot of notice, but that's like 10% of why I'm putting him here. Functionally, we see him dominate in air battles and with his long limbs it makes the most sense to put him on such a pivotal base. He's gonna get thrown to a lot, and it's undeniable that some shitty throws will be sent his way. His height/limbs will allow him to still catch virtually any ball sent his way even if it's far from the bag/overthrown while still keeping a foot on the bag to hopefully get an out. He's got the bag on lockdown but also a good few-foot radius around it.

Aiku Oliver:

Alright everybody act surprised when I say catcher. I know it's the obvious choice but that's because it makes so much sense. Obviously whenever your team isn't at bat you're on defense, but catcher is definitely the most defensive position one can think of, and that's where Aiku excels. I think his strength will be an asset behind the plate, as it'll be easy for him to throw to any base necessary, and he could also be a pretty formidable player to run toward for any opponent trying to steal home. I think his leadership that shines as captain of the U-20 team would also allow him to sync nicely with whatever pitcher he's teamed up with, and I also think his game sense will allow him to make quick decisions on where to throw the ball if he doesn't try to throw out someone stealing and just send the ball back to the pitcher.

[b0njourbeach]

I am he and we are they.

Heya, you found your way here, huh?

Well, let me introduce myself: I'm b0njourbeach but you can call me.. Well, actually, there is no official name but I've gained some names around here, most of them have become inside jokes around these parts. I do prefer if you'd use "it/its" as pronouns for me.

What do I do? Great question! I do a lot, mostly yap or edit and I do it quite often here. I specialize in torment society with cursed edit series. You'll find a list below. I, sometimes, do edits that are not part of a edit series. They're tagged with #bet the limit.

Most of the time I lose my marbles either about my OCs that are commonly known as the 'Carnival of Shadows' or Treykei, mostly them tbh. They have both their respective tags: #carnival of shadows & #spiced violets.

I also do arts and crafts. You can find that under the tag #doodle suit if you're interested.

Sometimes, my Anons or me cook up neat story ideas that we talk about or I'm sharing Oneshots. They'll be tagged with #split card and HCs and Analysis are usually under #shock the heart.

I tend to yap away about private stuff, so if you don't want any of that, feel free to blog the tag #bind the heart.

What am I like? If you want the short answer:

A mess and a genius.

If you want an all explaining answer:

If you take Cater and give him characteristics of Jade, the spontaneous spirit of Floyd and the spirit of Trey and try make it work, that's me.

I have multiple sideblogs on here for different occasions:

@b0njourbeach-reblogs ➺ All my reblogs

@find-the-mickey ➺ Spot the Hidden Mickey

@switched-wonderland ➺ Twst's color changes

@treykei ➺ Treykei Archive of Tumblr posts

Finished Editing Series

♦️ #twst balding series

♣️ #twst birthday bloom series

♦️ #twst birthday boy series

♣️ #twst fish series

♦️ #twst floyds pov series

♣️ #twst food series

♦️ #twst goofy series

♣️ #twst handsome squidward series

♦️ #twst halloween series

♣️ #twst object series

♦️ #twst queer series

♣️ #twst rizz series

♦️ #twst shipping series

♣️ #twst unfurry series

♦️ #twst vargas series

♣️ #twst x hsr series

♦️ #twst x sk8 series

Don't repost my work and give proper credits if you want to use it for profile pictures, headers etc.

Mind your manners, I won't hesitate to block you if you act out of line.

[cornyonmains]

Finished The Eclipse. I honestly feel like I had the right instinct to tune it out the first time, but I do think it's interesting in that you can really see the baby steps GMMTV was taking to grow up a little bit.

You can really look at The Eclipse and see a show where it's clear GMMTV really diminished its potential with a lot of its own standards, and to their credit, I think they stood back and took a hard enough look at it, the BL environment in general, and how absolutely hard fans were calling out their bullshit and decided to get real with Only Friends.

The Only Friends cast is heavily indicative of this being the case. GMMTV was gunning for elevated talent that knew how to play ball, and Neo, First, and Khao were all shining stars in The Eclipse, that blasted their scene partners out of the water. Force and Book are intensely unique, as they've always been shafted with bad scripts and sexually repressed directors, despite the fact they came into the game with a lot more professionalism and comfort with the material they were handling. The director didn't wind up sobbing in the corner because they refused to move their mouths when they kissed. They're also a much more 'modern' ship, that doesn't default on yaoi contrasts and that weird seme/uke binary. After the success of KinnPorsche, and popularity of MileApo, I think GMMTV finally saw the potential in this pairing. About time.

But the casting is very indicative of GMMTV kind of telling fans, "We've been listening, we hear you, and we're making changes." Only Friends corrects a lot of complaints the fandom has been having.

Adults, for example, don't have much in this genre. Part of the reason The Eclipse fell short for me is it's just another damn coming of age drama. Great for the baby gays, but the adults are over it. GMMTV gave us Neo eating Mark's ass like groceries then getting godless with Force in the backseat of a car, and I'll live 10 years on that alone.

The plot contrivances they have to cook up to keep everyone from doing anything but doing a cutaway kiss with no tongue in the final episode is no more, people are fucking nasty, so now there's room for actual plot, which is hilariously ironic. But also, it's not, because I mean the desire women have for horny softcore erotica with good plots and high production value is not unknown.

Queer women and bisexuals have been complaining about a lack of representation. At the core of these yaoi tropes is a world where bisexuality has no meaningful distinction from being gay, which is really annoying, because bisexuals have a much different experience in the queer community, and that's not reflected in a world where X amount of interpersonal communication can magically turn anyone gay. Queer women just don't exist in BL. Women are all straight virgins trying to steal your man. Only Friends has lesbians. Actual FDA approved lesbians. Are they fucking nasty? No, but it's something. We are allowed to exist in the world of Only Friends and that's HUGE.

People have been complaining about the cringe. Only Friends removed that and replaced it rage provoking stupidity by the characters, and I approve of that.

Anyways, analysis is what I do for a living. TV is well within the ballpark. So while I'm only basing my thoughts on what I've observed and not cold hard numbers, there's only so much insight I can provide, but it's insight backed by years of experience. With Only Friends posting absolute numbers, we can expect to see some structural changes at GMMTV on the horizon, because this is going to create growth. Probably even stimulate a search for new actors to get on their roster, since they have a lot of actors that won't be able to deliver going into the new era. I also think this is going to help them land sponsorships from atypical brands, which is BIG. Mile getting Maserati on board for KinnPorsche is part of what allowed it to exist in an elevated form.

I also think the success is going to result in a shake-up with the quality of writers they hire, because that's at the core of a lot of issues in BL. They adapt these novels from these absolutely unhinged lunatics, these lunatics have WAY too much creative power despite the fact they're low brow porn writers, and it kills the quality of a finished product. America doesn't do that. Directors have the power to elevate material, and that's important. GMMTV got a proper writer for Only Friends, and it paid off in a big way. Mame is one of the names I hate in BL the most. Her goo-goo gaga shit is creepy, I hate it, it makes queer people look bad, and I'm hoping writers like Jojo just drive her out of the scene.

Anyways, I'm going to end things here. I just wanted to share some random thoughts I had.

[sugurushimura]

Either I made this up or this definitely was a thing but I remember reading one of your posts about what higuchi's childhood was like and the economic situations of the time. at the end of the post you suggested you might expand on it in the future so I was wondering if you had any fresh thoughts on the topic?

yes, i mentioned this briefly in my higuchi analysis! @mikami also talked about this topic before here, and i recommend giving that post a read since it's a large part of what got me thinking about the circumstances of higuchi's youth in the first place.

i'm not a huge expert on the japanese economy, especially from before i was born, but i do have a few more thoughts on this. higuchi was born in 1972, at the very tail end of the japanese economic miracle. the 1973 oil crisis marks the end of it, but the japanese economy withstood the impact and remained strong (from my limited understanding) until the asset price bubble burst in 1992, which just so happens to be the year higuchi turned 20.

so higuchi grew up during a very strong time for the japanese economy. since he's from a wealthy family, i imagine he would have lived well even if the economy had been worse; what's more important imo is that times were good and the higuchi family was optimistic. since the japanese economic miracle started in 1955, depending on his parents' ages, it's possible that they didn't even remember a time before the miracle. (personally i think his father is older than that, but ymmv.)

higuchi grew up in a financially optimistic environment and had the idea that his bright future was not just a possibility, but a certainty. as he went through his schooling, i think he always had the idea that it was all stupid and not worth putting effort into since he was going to get a cushy corporate job when he grew up anyway. he was a mediocre student; he had enough resources to ensure that his work was passable, but was only rarely motivated enough to do particularly well. higuchi jiro, in my mind, was always a strict and cold man, and while higuchi never exactly fell behind his peers, he certainly fell short in his father's eyes.

more than academic success, i think higuchi focused a lot on his social standing and what his peers thought of him. unfortunately, he struggled to find somewhere he fit in. despite being a rich kid, the idea of rebellion was always cool to higuchi, and deep down he longed to be special and rebellious in a way that you can never fully be when you're trying (however halfheartedly) to live up to higuchi jiro's expectations. the other rich kids who he hung out with only tolerated him; every counterculture movement he brushed shoulders with rejected him. his luck with women was never very good, either; the few relationships he had in school were mostly shallow and ended unceremoniously. by the time he graduated, higuchi had grown into a somewhat lonely person thirsting for approval and belonging.

eventually he graduates and goes to university for the customary degree before setting out for an office job. i really don't think there was any significance in picking political science except that it's generally employable and seemed more interesting to study as an 18 year old than business or a similar degree did.

i've grown fond of the idea that at some point between high school and yotsuba, higuchi decided to quit college and flee to the states before very quickly being robbed of his illusions and returning to japan. i've tossed it back and forth, and i think what happens is this: the economy crashes in the middle of higuchi's college years, and he realizes abruptly that getting a job might be harder than he thought, and that the job itself will almost certainly be more difficult to maintain. he grows angry at the world for seemingly fucking him over right before he could've benefited from the economy as a working adult, and it occurs to him that maybe all this work won't be worth it in the end. in a moment of anger and desperation, he books a plane ticket to america, embarking on what was supposed to be some sort of glamorous soul-finding journey. this doesn't go as well as he'd hoped, and ultimately he returns to japan with a man his father hired to find him. this unpleasant, embarrassing experience resigns higuchi to the corporate life he'd planned on previously.

so ends his life as a child and begins his life as a childish adult, and so cements a strong "i deserve better than this and everyone/the world is out to undermine me" complex. i guess that's what happens when you don't get the future you feel you were promised.

[eclaire-went-bam]

Hi I had a few questions about the Dutch Van Der Linde NPD post :-)

I'm not trying to be rude or an asshole, I'm just genuinely confused because there seemed to be conflicting things.

You seem to agree that he has NPD but then call folk ableist for calling him a narcissist. Saying they're demonizing personality disorders.

I know and understand why demonizing NPD amongst other personality disorders is bad. But I don't understand why people calling him a Narcissist = demonizing.

Dutch is a terrible person so obviously people would point out his terrible actions along with a possible personality disorder. Because the disorder is a huge part of his character for some folk, which I'm sure it is for you.

I guess what I'm really wondering is what do you classify as ableist when it comes to discussing Dutch and his possible NPD?

The post, or I guess the way things were worded, made it hard for me to see your point.

Thank you :-)

rolling around tysm for the ask /gen!!! i did word things a bit unclear bcs a lot of my posts are catred to ppl in my own community so don't worry :)

i'm also using terminology associated w/ npd in this post so refer to tags if you don't know what something means

it's a bit complicated & i tend to over-explain so strap in !!

acknowledging he is a narcissist is fine! but the term "narcissist" very specifically refers to a mental illness & is a term very often mishandled

the problem lies here!

on one hand, people will know narcissist refers to npd specifically, but they won't care & are thus very explicitly demonising pw/npd. i've seen a great many posts (not just from this fandom!) who will call a character a narcissist, and then will proceed to prescribe that as the reason why a character is a bad person. npd is a personality disorder which yes, can often cause a lot of interpersonal conflict if not properly coped with, but it can also present in numerous other ways (eg, people-pleasing) — people who are abusive don't generally have npd and pw/npd aren't all abusive (many are actually abused themselves! if i had a dime for every article/post i've seen detailing how to make a narcissist crash, i'd be rich lmao). so automatically correlating abusive behaviour w/ having npd is very damaging to pw/npd

or,

on the other hand (this i see Most often), someone doesn't really seem to know that being narcissistic is a mental health thing and are using that word as a stand-in for a plethora of negative words — which is really easy to do given how much it's used incorrectly in a lot of anti-npd short form content (tiktok, yt shorts, etc ...). someone may use the word "narcissistic" when they're trying to describe someone who's self-centred, or rude, or aloof, or vain, or abusive, when they could use any of those other words just as easily while both being correct, and not including that underlying stigma

the vast majority of posts i've seen refer to dutch as a narcissist, are using that word in a derogatory sense to air their frustrations with the character — not as a genuine analysis, and not acknowledging the nuances of npd

it is important to note, many of these people would not call a character who is seen as a good person a narcissist, even if they may exhibit many narcissistic traits in canon, because narcissism already has a really negative stigma attached to it that they would be perpetuating. if dutch did nothing problematic in the entire series, i'd still headcanon him as narcissistic, but i get the sense that many just wouldn't because it hinges so much on the worst of his character

an egotypical may see dutch being simply careless with anyone but his own skin as he drags everyone down with him and call him a narcissist

whereas for me, i may see him desperately trying to appear as the greater-than-life man everyone talks him up to be to the point of delusion and self-sabotaging while everything is falling apart around him and call him a narcissist because yea, me too honestly !!

the first position is often tying narcissism to a shallow and overwhelming negative view of a character, because one may already have a bias that narcissism = living your best life as your family falls apart or something

so imagine like ;;; an allistic seeing a blunt character that is often viewed in fandom as autistic, and calling them autistic because of the outward bluntness — especially if they view bluntness as a bad thing. this view may perpetuate stereotypes about autism while also not really offering any nuanced look at the character. that, vs an autistic person seeing the same character and maybe relating to how confusing that social interaction was, and how awkward it must must've been for the character realising they did x y and z "wrong."

using the same example, there could be a character in media that's considered extremely blunt and mean to others, who's implied to be autistic. it's fine to not like said character, lord knows i'm thinking of a Few i hate, and being autistic doesn't excuse people from being mean to others, but to insult a character for being blunt because of their autism is pretty ableist! just like how having npd doesn't excuse any characters abuse, and someone can not like their vanity, but it'd be kind of ableist to insult a character for being vain because of their narcissism

or just like how an autistic character may unintentionally be mean to somebody due to misunderstanding social cues/being overstimulated/etc and will thus be percieved as cold and unkindly, a narcissistic person may percieve small criticisms as really pointed attacks that can cause crashes, which can cause us to become defensive & be percieved as childish or uncooperative (here's a good post that talks abt how certain problems may appear from a narcs pov, for example). these are just little things that oftentimes people who don't have said condition may not understand, which can contribute to a really flat reading of a character based on More Stereotypes

of course, you don't have to have a specified neurotype or mental disorder to headcanon someone with something (though i definitely recommend the Nuance ahaha), but i get the sense that when ppl use "narcissistic" with dutch, it's less of a respectful headcanon that acknowledges the disorder & how distressing it can be to not only others around him, but him as well, and more as a jab coming from the users own personal experiences from people they didn't like, or as a way to explain specifically just his abusive behaviour & nothing else (which is already a yikes cus that implies someone's automatic association with abuse is people of a very specific stigmatised neurotype). and i mean hey, dutch does deserve. Like. Multiple Jabs. (understatement). but it shouldn't be at the expense of people who actually exist irl who struggle w/npd

no i do not excuse dutch's problematic/abusive behaviour, i literally physically recoil from my screen whenever i see him do literally anything, and it's pretty evident that untreated Issues™ definitely contributed to him going batshit (especially considering as far as every account i've seen go, he was pretty damn Decent in terms of 1800's outlaws prior to blackwater), but i can definitely say that i do rlly relate with some overarching themes with him & can often pretty much hear what he's thinking sometimes without necessarily thinking something he did was okay. & again, there are sooo many words in the english lexicon, people can definitely choose words that aren't specifically related to conditions when talking abt what they don't like about him

so many other headcanons, whether it be regarding race, gender, sexuality, neurodiversity, etc, are treated with a lotta respect on this website! you'll hardly ever find someone seriously insulting a character's headcanoned autism, or gender identity, or anxiety, with such genuine vitriol. i've seen people also headcanon dutch with major depression or bipolar, but i've seen nobody use either terms to insult him — because we all know that's insensitive. so why should npd be any different?

so yeah i hope this made it clear, i don't think its wrong or ableist at all to to have discussions about how a potential personality disorder could've affected his thinking or decisions, but a lot of the posts i've seen have been less about discussion and more of just finding ways to express their hatred of dutch. which ;; i'm sure you can imagine how tiring it gets to see these kinda posts which demonise something you are, in a community for a game you really enjoy, and just have everyone in the comments/tags kinda nod their head. nnnot fun to always catch strays ^^;

anyways that's my spiel tysm for the ask i really like to Yap™