#me while editing: WHY TF ARE THEY KISSING SO MUCH

[koqabear]

Addicted To You

♡ continuation of Take It! but can be read as a stand-alone.

“It’s been three weeks since you’ve seen either Beomgyu or Taehyun, away for a business trip like always— after three weeks without seeing them, they’re eager to show you how much they missed you.”

beomgyu x fem!reader x taehyun

Genre: fluff, smut, porn with no plot. at all. 

Word count 4.7K

warnings: barely edited, poly relationship but no mxm…they’re chaebols for those who don’t know, gyu is kinda bratty, it’s literally just smut

smut warnings: dom!tae, dom!beomgyu, sub!mc, threesome, double vaginal penetration, unprotected sex, pet names, (baby, pretty, sweetheart, etc.) dry humping, marking, praise, degrading, manhandling, breast play, mocking, exhibitionism, oral (f & m rec.) slight masturbation, handjob, fingering, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, hair pulling, (m. rec) slight dumbification, mentions of safe word, dacryphilia, creampies, aftercare (lmk if i should add anything!)

Notes: didn’t rlly think i’d commit to this, but take it holds a silly little place in my heart bc it was the first fic to help me gain traction on my dying blog 😭 (no, there were no other reasons as to why i wrote this tf) 

Study sessions with Taehyun usually go well— he’s a great teacher, and is able to guide you through even the hardest concepts with ease; usually, you end study sessions with no energy at all, more than ready to sink into your bed with your arms wrapped tightly around him. 

Usually, you don’t find yourself where you are now— on top of him, your fingers threaded into his hair as you tug him closer to you. 

“Thought you were tired?” He teases, fully enjoying the way you grind against him, needy and reckless as you simply whine at his comment, “What happened to just cuddling, sweetheart?”

“Does it look like I’m in the mood to just cuddle?” you mock, pulling away from his addicting lips with a frown— he simply laughs, playing along as he sends you an innocent look— though there’s nothing innocent about the way his hands are splayed across the small of your back, encouraging the soft rock of your hips by keeping you pressed firmly onto him, “I haven’t seen you in weeks, missed you so much.”

Taehyun’s smile grows wicked; there’s a mischievous glint in his eyes as he leans forward to place sultry kisses on your neck, plump lips sucking and biting teasingly as he litters marks on any skin that’s left accessible to him. 

“You missed me, pretty? How much?” he teases, mumbling the words against your neck as his hands slip under your shirt, fingers wandering as he feels the way you practically melt at his touch. The small whimper you let out isn’t lost on him as he bucks his hips up into you, prompting you to answer him with a soft bite to the sensitive spot on your neck. 

“So much. So so much,” you ramble, unable to stop your desperate movements as you grind into him, able to feel the way his cock is already hard and pressed perfectly against you, biting your lip in a pathetic attempt to suppress your sounds, “Couldn’t even call you while you away, you were so busy.”

“Wow, I can’t believe this,” you immediately freeze at the sound of the voice— your eyes are wide open as you turn around in Taehyun’s grasp, mouth agape as you realize that you didn’t even notice the bedroom door opening, much less hear Beomgyu come in as he sits comfortably on the chair in the corner, arms crossed and expression unamused as he narrows his eyes at you. 

“Is he the only one to get a warm welcome?” he pouts, shining eyes almost fooling you into thinking he’s seconds away from tearing up, “You didn’t miss me?”

“Gyu,” you gape, untangling yourself from Taehyun as you attempt to go to him immediately— only to be pulled back by Taehyun, his strong arms wrapping around your waist as he presses you flush against him, chin slotting itself on your shoulder as he laughs at the whine you let out, “I thought you weren’t supposed to be here until next week.”

“I wanted to surprise you,” he admits, leaning back in the chair as he lets out a soft tsk, taking in the way Taehyun continues his assault on your neck— you’re weak to his touches as you let out soft gasps, squirming in his grip and inevitably grinding harder against him as a result, “Though it seems you’re busy— I’ll get going then.”

“Beomgyu, ah, wait,” your voice is whiny and pathetic as you call out to him, stopping him in his tracks as he glances back at you— he takes in the way you reach out toward him helplessly, eyes darkening at the way Taehyun continues to hold you close, not planning to let you go soon as his eyes flicker up; they meet Beomgyu’s, and he’s unable to hold back his sly smile as his hands wander under your shirt, pushing it up and exposing your chest before he’s expertly playing with your breasts— the way you cry out from his touches and place your hands on his forearms is amusing, and Beomgyu is quick to catch onto Taehyun’s intentions as he simply huffs out a soft laugh. 

“What’s wrong baby?” he asks, tilting his head as he goes to stand before you— just out of reach, your attempts to grab onto him and tug him closer futile as you simply look up at him with teary eyes, whimpering softly at the way Taehyun begins to rut up into you, “Isn’t Tyunnie enough for you?” 

The nickname has Taehyun rolling his eyes— Beomgyu’s wicked smile of amusement only makes Taehyun more irritated, even more so when you begin protesting that you want him, too.

“It’s not that,” you say, struggling to utter a coherent sentence from the way Taehyun continues to stimulate you, your brain turned to mush from his touch alone, “Just missed you… want you, missed both of you s’much…”

Both men are laughing at your state— your fucked out expression and bruised lips from Taehyun’s harsh bites is enough to have them hooked, and Beomgyu has to take a deep breath in order to keep his hands off you. 

“Our sweet girl,” Taehyun hums, kissing your cheek fondly, a stark contrast to the way he continues to stimulate you, expert fingers tweaking at your nipples while he continues to roll his hips up into you; you don’t seem to notice the moment one of his hands begins to slide down coyly, slipping under your shorts and rubbing your clit teasingly over your panties— you both hiss at the feeling, and Taehyun bites his lips at the feeling of you completely soaking your underwear, “Why don’t you show Gyu how much you missed us, hmm?”

You’re nodding immediately; your hips are canting at his touch, and you can’t seem to get your eyes off Beomgyu, who simply takes you in with hungry eyes, stepping closer in order to cup your cheek, leaning down until his hips are hovering over yours.

“Still such a greedy thing, aren’t you?” he asks softly, his voice barely above a whisper as you simply cry at his words. It’s all too much for you— Taehyun’s body against yours, his soft huffs against your skin, his wandering lips and hands that don’t detach themselves from your body for even a moment— and Beomgyu’s soft hand that caresses your face fondly, staring at you with such pity in his eyes you can’t help but feel small under his gaze, “Can’t even help yourself from touching us the moment we come back to you.”

You don’t bother to refute his claims— because it’s all true, and you don’t bother to feel an ounce of shame from it, not when the two men before you can’t seem to get away from you for a second, either. 

“Are you gonna cum?” Beomgyu asks, taking in the way your movements grow frantic, your mouth slightly agape and letting out streams of moans that only worsen from his question, “So close already? Come on baby, show me how much you missed us.”

Beomgyu’s lips are soft and hungry the moment they crash against yours— he’s held back long enough, unable to control his need to feel you panting and moaning against his lips the second you crash down from your high— your frantic hands grip Beomgyu’s perfectly pressed dress shirt tightly, though he couldn’t care less about it, not when you’re pulling him toward you desperately and kissing him as though you haven’t seen him in years. 

“Shit…” Taehyun groans, fingers drifting down to your clothed slit, face buried into your neck as he laughs breathily— you jolt against him as you feel his middle and ring finger run along your cunt teasingly, feeling your panties stick to you and pressing against your entrance to feel how wet you are— you’re whining softly in embarrassment, though you can’t control the shocks of pleasure that still jolt through you, pulling away from Beomgyu’s lips to burrow into his chest from the sensitivity. 

“She’s so wet,” Taehyun smiles, raising his head to meet Beomgyu’s— the two men feel weak to the way you grow flustered at their words, still shy as ever as you mumble incoherently into Beomgyu’s chest— Taehyun’s hold on you grows slack, but you don’t bother to stand up, still able to feel the way his hard cock throbs against you, weak to the feeling of him under you. 

“Poor thing,” Beomgyu coos, rubbing your back in a way that’s more patronizing than soothing, “Guess we left you alone for too long, hmm? Can’t last this long without us, is that it?” 

Your desperation is endearing to Beomgyu— though it’s something he’ll never say out loud, choosing instead to tease and poke fun at you as he takes in your weak protests and flustered reactions with a deep satisfaction. 

With the two here, you don’t need to move a muscle— not when they can do it for you, allowing them to put you in any position they want as you find yourself laying on the bed, thighs rubbing impatiently as you watch them with wide expectant eyes, waiting for their next move as they hover over you. 

“Won’t you ask how our trip was?” Beomgyu asks, his sweet smile doing nothing to deter your mind from the fact that Taehyun is sinking to his stomach, situating himself comfortably between your legs as he begins to pry your bottoms off— his eyes flicker down to your line of sight, and he’s able to catch the way your panties are soaked through with your arousal, your pretty cunt still glistening from your last orgasm.

“Baby?” He asks again, taking a hold of your chin and forcing you to look back up at him. He’s pouting, petulant as always when he realizes your attention isn’t solely on him, “Eyes on me, baby. Answer my question, won’t you?”

“H…How was your trip…?” you’re trailing off indignantly the moment you feel Taehyun’s mouth on you; it’s warm and messy as his tongue is instantly licking up the remnants of your arousal, your legs twitching at the feeling before he’s throwing them over his shoulders— his grip is bruising on your thighs as he keeps you in place, sucking and licking and moaning against your cunt like a crazed man.

“It was so boring,” Beomgyu says, seemingly unfazed by the way Taehyun is pressed against your cunt, the intensity of it all making your brows furrow and your eyes glaze with pleasure; you’re gripping at the sheets as your mouth falls open, able to feel the way his nose presses against your clit as his tongue enters you smoothly, humming out in satisfaction as the vibrations only make you yelp with pleasure— though, after a moment, you’re able to take notice of the way Beomgyu’s hand has begun to palm at his cock, eyes drinking in even your most miniscule changes of expression as he smiles. 

“Couldn’t stand being away from you for so long,” he continues, glancing back to where Taehyun hums in agreement; he’s raising his head from where it’s buried between your legs for a second, his face shining with your arousal as he sends you a charming smile— you simply whine at the way you feel his fingers teasing your entrance, circling and prodding at it before they’re sinking into you; he’s curling and pumping them immediately, eager to pull out any reactions from you as he aims for all your sensitive spots with ease. 

“Both of us,” Beomgyu adds, watching as Taehyun sends you one last coy look before his eyes fall back on your pussy— your face feels hot as you watch his lips attach themselves to your clit, looking back up at you with innocent eyes as he continues to fuck with you with his fingers, adding a third before you can even process it. 

Beomgyu is as needy as ever as he scolds you to look back up at him— your eyes widen slightly as you take in the way he’s taken his cock out, stroking it slowly and furrowing his brows the moment you begin watching him; you’re reaching up to wrap a hand around him without a second thought, and he’s cursing lowly under his breath at the feeling of your warm hand, pumping him slowly and taking in the way his tip leaks profusely. 

“Thought of you the whole time…” he mumbles, wincing slightly at the way you shift toward him in order to wrap your mouth around him; your tongue darts out to lick at his tip teasingly, doe eyes only enticing him further as he cups your face with a fond look, “I thought of calling you— I had so many nights where I couldn’t sleep, just thought of you…”

Beomgyu can’t begin to count how many times he laid on the bed of his hotel room, eyes screwed shut as he fucked himself to the memory of you— more often than not, he thought of calling your during those times— he thought of sending you a video, a picture, anything that could show you just how much he needed you; instead, he decided to remain patient, to let his energy pent up until he finally saw you again. 

Now that you lay before him, your movements on his cock faltering from the feeling of Taehyun’s tongue against your pussy, fingers hitting all the spots that make your stomach twist up in knots, he’s not sure how he’ll contain himself— three weeks without you was simply a death sentence to him. 

“You should’ve called,” you whine out, your voice weak and shaky as your thighs tighten around Taehyun’s head; he remains unfazed by the action, his soft hair ticklish against your skin as he merely presses himself against you more— the bed begins to rock from how much you squirm from his ministrations, though the way he’s begun to rut into the mattress is also to blame.

“I would’ve helped you, I… ah…!” you’re unable to finish your sentence. Beomgyu’s hand has begun to guide your own on his cock, though you don’t seem to realize it from the way your eyes are screwed shut, your helpless noises growing louder and spurring Taehyun to pleasure you more— you can already begin to imagine the marks his fingers will leave on your thighs from how hard he’s got you, keeping you firmly against him and preventing you from escaping as he leads you to your second orgasm of the night— one of many you can tell, at least from the way the two watch you with dark, hungry eyes. 

You’re a whimpering and weak mess as Taehyun lets you ride out your orgasm; he’s licking up your cum eagerly, enjoying the way you twitch and cry from the overstimulation of it all, your voice already slightly hoarse as you meekly plead Taehyun to stop, please please please, too much…

He only stops when he feels a sharp tug at his hair— though, unlike you, who tries to tug at his roots in a controlled manner to not hurt him, this action is clearly meant to hurt, and he’s already sending Beomgyu a lethal glare as the said man simply smiles back, keeping him away from you as Taehyun winces at the feeling. 

You’re unaware of it all— you’re still catching your breath, your shirt hiked up and exposing your chest, taking deep breaths as your eyes remain shut— you’re especially unaware of the way they seem to be communicating silently, Beomgyu’s grip loosening from Taehyun’s hair as he simply sends him a look, mouthing words that have Taehyun letting out a soft oh. Before you can question it, you’re being moved again. 

“Baby, do you remember why we went on this trip?” Beomgyu asks you, moving you back until you’re almost against the headboard; you’re sitting up, and Beomgyu is right beside you as he smiles, your brain fuzzy as he waits for your answer with bright eyes— his smile widens slightly the moment you begin to mumble incoherently about renewing a partnership with a company— laughing softly, he kisses you, short and sweet as he nods.

“And it went well,” he says, his heart swelling as he takes in the way you slur out a soft congratulations, “So I— Tyunnie and I… were thinking we should celebrate.” 

“Celebrate?” you ask, peering up at him through dazed eyes; his hands have begun to wander, relishing in being able to feel your skin again as he nods.

“Do you trust us, baby?” Taehyun has appeared at your other side; they cage you in, though it doesn’t feel pressuring or dangerous as they wait for your answer with loving eyes. 

“Yes.”

Your answer is immediate— and you mean it, taking in the way the two only give you mischievous smiles in return; before you can process what’s going on, they’re asking you to change positions— Beomgyu currently lays back against the headboard as you hover over him, his clothes discarded as his fingers play with the hem of your tee— rather, their tee, unsure of who’s it might be, but knowing that it’s not your own simply from the way it looks on your figure.

“Safe word?” Beomgyu asks softly, beginning to tug your shirt up before you’re obeying and taking it off; tossing it to the side, you mumble the safe word you all agreed upon, and he’s sending you an endearing smile before he’s tugging your hips down; he hisses softly at the feeling of your warm cunt fluttering around his tip, already able to feel your seeping arousal before you finally sink onto him.

“Fuck, oh shit,” he sighs, feeling the way you stretch around him, much tighter than he remembers as you simply whine at the feeling, “God, did you really miss us this much, pretty girl?”

The way you nod without hesitation has Beomgyu laughing softly; he’s reaching to take your hands, tugging at you until you’re hovering over him, your hands on either side of his head as he pouts softly at you.

“Who’d you miss more,” he begins, his antics nothing new to you as you fight the urge to roll your eyes, “Me or Tyunnie?”

There’s a right answer here, he mutters, groaning softly as he finally bottoms out inside you, feeling your hips flush against his as he bucks his hips up— whether he’s trying to get you to moan out his name or he simply can’t control himself like he tells you, you’re unsure. 

“Missed both of you,” you whine, and you fall onto him pathetically the moment he bucks his hips up into you roughly, your body jolting up from the motion.

“Really?” he asks, patting your head softly as you nod against him, “Then, do you want Tyunnie to fuck you too?” 

Mindlessly, you nod— then you freeze, feeling as though there’s more to what Beomgyu is asking as you sit back up, sending him a confused look that only makes him smile with endearment. 

“What?” he says, and it’s only once you’ve sat up that you come in contact with Taehyun’s bare chest, twisting your head to look back at him— but you’re unable to, only being able to feel his firm chest press against your back, warm hands rubbing up and down your thighs soothingly as he places feathery kisses along your shoulder, “Since you can never pick between us, why not have both?”

His comment is both condescending and lighthearted— he doesn’t mind sharing, but he knows that mentioning it is always enough to fluster you— and, like clockwork, you tense up, unsure of what to say as Taehyun begins to leave open-mouthed kisses along the column of your throat, going up, up up until he’s finally reached you ear, placing a kiss behind it before he’s whispering a soft don’t you wanna feel good, pretty? the words barely whispered as you make eye contact with Beomgyu, who was already unable to keep his eyes off you. 

The moment you catch on, Beomgyu lets out a soft moan— he can feel you clench around him, your warm walls fluttering around him and causing him to throw his head back, eyes fluttering shut from the pleasure as you simply whine at the sight, feeling the way his cock ruts into you from response. 

“What do you say then, pretty?” Taehyun asks, his scent overtaking your senses from how close he is to you, something you didn’t think you missed as much as you did as you find yourself leaning back against him, your head tilting back to rest against his shoulder as you bite your lip, taking a moment to respond as Taehyun begins littering kisses along your jaw. 

“Yes, please, I want you— want you both, need you both to fuck me,” your words practically have the two malfunctioning— You can feel Taehyun smile against your jaw as Beomgyu’s hips jump up once more, and you allow Taehyun to place one last chaste kiss on your lips before he’s guiding you to lean back down.

You’ve never done this before— you’ve never thought of doing this, but as Beomgyu begins to fuck into you slowly, allowing you to loosen up around him for Taehyun, you realize that this business trip must’ve affected them much more than they let on. 

You tense slightly the moment you feel Taehyun’s tip prod at your full entrance; Beomgyu catches onto it instantly, muttering a soft still okay? against the crown of your head, only giving Taehyun a nod of confirmation the moment you tell him yes. 

“Relax for us, okay?” Taehyun coos, rubbing your skin soothingly and only continuing once he sees the tension leave your body— carefully, he begins to enter you. 

You already felt full enough with either of them inside you— but now, as you felt Taehyun finally slip inside, the three of you letting out pleasured sounds from it, you feel absolutely stuffed. 

“ffffu…. god… why didn’t we try this sooner,” you hear Beomgyu groan, jaw clenched as he focuses on not coming inside you then and there— the way you whine and whimper into his ear is enough to have him shutting his eyes, letting out another groan as he feels Taehyun bottom out, the feeling of their cocks rubbing against each other filthy and new, your fingers gripping onto Beomgyu’s shoulder desperately as you will yourself to hover over him. 

Beomgyu looks entirely fucked out; his expression probably mirrors yours, his face flushed and his eyes blown out with lust as he sends you a coy smile; behind you, you can feel Taehyun lean down to press against you, a hand securing itself on your waist while the other supports his weight— his head is buried in the crook of your neck, trying to hide the weak whines he lets out once he finally begins to pull out. 

The moment he thrusts back in, you can already feel tears prick at your eyes— you’re loud and unabashed in your sounds as they finally begin to fuck you, experimenting a bit before they finally find a good rhythm. 

When Beomgyu pulls out, Taehyun thrusts back in— it’s a cycle that leaves you constantly full and weak, and if it weren’t for Taehyun’s arm wrapped around your waist, you’re sure you would’ve fallen against Beomgyu already— though moments after, when Taehyun chooses to grab a hold of your hips in order to guide you onto them, you’re doing exactly that. 

“Feels good?” Beomgyu asks, taking your hand and lacing his fingers with yours, laughing cruelly at the drooly and fucked out mess you’ve turned into, barely able to mutter out a response from how good they’re fucking you, “Such a good girl— shit, ugh— always wanting to make us feel good, taking whatever we give her.”

“You have no idea how much we missed you,” Taehyun mutters against your skin, barely able to continue his sentence from the way you clench around them, your mixed arousals and the sound of skin slapping against skin almost drowning out your sounds, “Had us— ah… fucking bonding from how— ngh, how bad it was.”

The thought is enough to make you laugh— though you aren’t able to, not with the way they continue to fuck you roughly, your back arching from the way Taehyun’s clever hand begins to rub at your clit— you can only whine softly at the feeling, allowing them to toy with you however they’d like as Beomgyu sneaks a hand to play with your breasts. 

“Missed you— missed this,” Beomgyu rambles to himself, and you can feel the way his hips begin to stutter, losing their rhythm and affecting Taehyun in the process, “Just wanted to hear you cute little sounds again, my pretty girl.”

“Our pretty girl…” Taehyun corrects, though it’s only to tease as he feels you tighten around him— you’re close, he can tell, and it only fuels the two men to continue fucking you recklessly, “Can you cum for us, pretty? Wanna feel it, missed seeing you come on my cock, just give us one more, sweet thing—“

His words become foggy to your mind after that, but you can hear him guiding you the whole time you crash down, letting out a loud cry before Beomgyu’s cupping your face and guiding you to his lips, kissing you slowly and taking in your sounds as you practically drool against him— the kiss is messy and you’re barely able to process anything, feeling him bite your lips and run his tongue along your mouth teasingly before he laughs, pulling away to give you one last sweet kiss. 

“Want us to fill you up?” Beomgyu asks, his voice slightly tense as he continues to concentrate on not falling apart then and there; even through your foggy mind, you’re nodding eagerly, teary eyes affecting Beomgyu much more than he’d like to admit as he finally allows himself to cum inside you—you can hear Taehyun hiss softly at the feeling, triggering his own orgasm as the two men whimper at the feeling, unable to stop their cocks from rutting into you, sensitive from the way they continue to rub against each other inside.

You’re warm and filled to the point that it’s already begun to leak out— Taehyun swears that he’s never seen a better sight, and you’re burying your head into the crook of Beomgyu’s neck, mentally rolling your eyes at the way he pouts a soft no fair, I can’t see.

You don’t think you can bring yourself to move after that— lucky for you, you have two strong men to do your bidding— which is exactly why you’re able to find yourself in a warm bubble bath after a few minutes of rest, unable to stop yourself from marveling at the luxury of it all despite being with the two for— well, a year.

“I’m so happy to be back, seriously,” Beomgyu mutters, his head laying on your chest as you simply laugh, running your fingers through his hair fondly, “I don’t think I can be away from you for that long again.”

“Was it really that bad?” you ask softly, slightly embarrassed at how hoarse your voice is; they merely laugh fondly at you, and Taehyun’s arms circle around your waist before he’s pressing himself closer to you— you can feel him nod despite his forehead resting against your shoulder, and you merely roll your eyes at their theatrics, tilting your head back and resting your head against Taehyun’s shoulder, allowing him to slot his chin on your own, “Why don’t you just take me with you next time, hmm?”

“You’d like that?” Beomgyu immediately asks, titling his head back and looking at you with wide, sparkling eyes— you laugh, nodding softly as you watch him smile cutely in return, “You better not change your mind.”

“I won’t,” you muse, smiling at the way Taehyun places a soft kiss on your cheek, “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

Because despite your doubts, they’ve really proven just how much you mean to them— and as you feel them cuddle closer to you, allowing yourself to sink into the warm water that soothes your sore body, you can’t control the way your heart flutters from the mere way they hold you.

God, you’re down bad.

[rubywithecat]

“JjK men when you get wrong idea (dirty mind) of what they were talking”

Hello! It’s been a long time, u guys! I was really busy cuz preparing for my Japanese N4 exam. But have u guys heard about the song “Otaku hot girl”?! That’s so cooked and I can’t fcking let that song out of my head and those jjk edits all over my fyp?! That’s like never wanting to back to reality, loves!

Gojo Satoru

U were going on date with him and he was talking about the curses. U were analyzing his handsome figure and lost in your own fantasy about him. “Mine was this long” he said, expressing with his hand. U didn’t catch up what he was talking about so u had wrong idea, other meaning, about what he meant. Your eyes widened. “This long?? Urs?? Well considering your height, it’s supposed to” U replied, blushing. He busted in laughter. “Wait— what r u talking about, y/n? What u got in ur mind, huh?” He asked, still laughing. U got embarrassed. “What?! That was what u were talking about, Satoru?!” U defended. “Well, I wasn’t talking about what u were thinking, brat” he smirked. “But I like this side of u” He moved near u and whispered into ur ear “If I have to talk about what u thought, I would say mine is longer than that”

Kento Nanami

It was a business meeting with ur team and Nanami was one of them. Ur car was at the repair shop so he offered u a ride home. He is much older than u and u have a huge crush on him. U followed him from behind, silent and nervous, as ur heels sound is the only thing u both can hear. During ride, u pushed the nerve to talk to break awkward silence. “So…What do u usually do at home?” U asked, casually. That sounded silly and u just wanna scream of why would u even ask such childish thing! Will he gonna mock or smth? U thought. He just made a small smile. “I live alone so I do mostly that pleasures me” he answered, focusing on the road. “So like u do it alone or with some girl?” U asked, thinking why he would say such thing casually! “Huh? What do u mean?” He narrowed his eyebrows and u realized u embarrassed urself by getting dirty idea of what he actually meant. “Omg I’m so sorry! I thought—“ u blushed. “Dirty-mind huh? I didnt know that innocent looking of urs doesn’t match of ur mind, y/n” he looked at u with lust. “That turns me on” he said as he teased. “Wanna know what I do at home? Why not come with me hum?” He raised his eyebrows.

Toji fushiguro

U were helping Toji at the kitchen for dinner while other students waiting and talking at living room. “This roasted chicken looks tasty” u said u were slicing the veggies. “Ofc it is. Btw thank u for helping me out. Those brats at front would never” he tapped. “No problem. I enjoy cooking too, that’s why” U said, lWhat do I have to do with these sliced veggies, sir?”. “Spread the leg” he replied as he was making the soup. “I pardon u sir?!!” u said as ur eyes widened and surprised. He closed the gas and came to u. He could see lust and dirty thoughts in ur eyes as he stared down and tucked ur hair. “Sir I think it’s not good to do here…?” U said nervously. He smirked as switched and took a veggie bowl from u and sliced the chicken from its leg, layering with veggies. “How would slice this without spreading this fcking chicken’s leg?” He teased, “unless u were thinking smth else?”. “It’s nothing!” U were so embarrassed. “I didn’t know u have a thing for me, kid” he smirked. “Well unfortunately, those kids will have to starve a lil longer” he said as he pushed u to kitchen counter. “And it’s ur fault for that” he kissed ur neck.

Suguru Geto

“Is it only two of us?” U asked, wondering the empty classroom. “Yeah since tmr is holiday, others don’t seem to join our study group” he replied, reading a book. “I see” u said down as u opened ur book. U peeked a look at him and gosh how handsome one can be. U sighed and focused doing maths problem. “Ur so wet” he suddenly said. U thought u got caught peeking. “No im not!” U sensitively defended. “U are” he calmly replied. “Who tf r u thinking u r to accuse me like that? Ur being handsome doesn’t mean u can say that dirty to a girl?” U argued. He looked at u for a while and made a small laugh. “Ahaha…I mean the air conditioner is broken and it’s so hot here and ur sweating. Just look at urself” he said as u were so shy about how u acted. “U could have said more clearly, bastard!” U yelled, copping ur embarrassment. “Don’t worry I won’t let other know about ur dirty little mind” he teased as he winked at u. “I wonder how dirty that can be in bed” He’s true that ur so wet now.

I hope u enjoy this! Plz like and share if u could! Thanks a lot and I really appreciate every support! Luv u guys <33

[thedeviltohisangel]

"your morning voice is so hot."

[laughs] "what?"

is soooooo evelyn waking up next to callum for the first time. i can just see them being so giggly, giddy, and completely enamored with each other

SWEET, EARLY MORNING LOVE BLURB PROMPT ERA

ev/cal brain rot is so real. spam me with blurb requests for them. and this became like a full one shot + so please enjoyyyy. also not canon compliant? maybe we don't care? maybe i should just throw canon out the window for them and write whatever the fuck we please?

FOR A FORNIGHT THERE WE WERE

warning: smut (because why tf not? ngl. turned myself on writing this)

Her hair was sticking to her forehead as the bass of the music altered her heartbeat, her hands tracing up her body as a smile split across her face. Her friend, Sydney Sweeney, was across from her and matching her movements as they both giggled. Ev drained the rest of her vodka soda and held onto her friend's hand as she made moves towards their roped off table. There were ten other friends enjoying the bottle service, cigarette smoke in the air and lights flashing across their vision.

"Ev, you want one?" She nodded and took the shot from her hand, the liquor burning her throat as it went down, but nothing compared to the blue eyes staring at her across the table. Her and Callum were trying to give this thing between them a real shot because it felt like it deserved one. Their close friends new their flirting wasn't innocent and that they liked to kiss behind closed doors. She had met his mother through FaceTime and when a photo of the sunset she sent to her family group chat last week had half of his smiling face in it, her mother had said he looked handsome and her brother had just straight up asked her if they were dating like TikTok said. He was sick of seeing the same blurry edit of Callum's nose brushing against hers in a London pub.

"I owe Jon a dance and then I'll be right back!" Syd kissed her cheek and was off with her fiancé to the dancefloor. Evelyn looked after them wistfully. She wished she could dance with Callum like that. Throw caution to the wind and let the world know she was moving on from her ex and she was doing so happily. People on the internet were beginning to figure it out. The way the two always seemed to be in the same place at the same time. The way Evelyn was posting photos on intimate vacations, and no one had seen any evidence to suggest her family or team were with her, so it had to be a new man. Deuxmoi was posting blind items that she had moved on before her marriage was legally dissolved and a Sunday Spotted involving her at a Chelsea football match had sent social media into a tailspin. She looked over her shoulder at the man in question who was already making his way towards her.

"You want to dance with me?" he had to yell so she could hear him over the music.

"We can't!" she yelled back as he wrapped his arms around her from behind. In the morning, she would learn someone was shopping around a photo of the moment.

"Friends dance with each other all the time. Let's go!" He offered her no chance to object, her hands wrapping around the forearm across her chest as they bounced their way out to the dancefloor. His hand lifted hers and urged her in a twirl, her laugh contagious as she wrapped her arms around his neck and his slid to the small of her back. Her hips swiveled to the beat of the Latin music pounding through the speakers as his hands started to drift lower and lower. Evelyn moaned as he bent his knees so her chest could press against his while his hands locked around her ass cheeks to lift her to his height. "Evvie, my baby," he mumbled as his lips ghosted over hers.

"You're going to get me in so much trouble." She meant it but for the moment didn't care as she kissed the tip of his nose. Certainly, her ex was going to use these photos and videos against her when they were due back in court. Certainly, she was going to wake up to angry texts from her lawyer and publicist alike. "I should go home before I do something too crazy," she said sadly as he dropped her back to her feet.

"Come back to my place. I'll take the couch." Callum brought her hand to his lips and looked at her with the most loving and tender eyes she had ever seen in her life.

"Ok," she giggled, unable to stop herself from letting her fingertips trace down his cheek.

It was raining when they snuck out the back of the club, Evelyn's security shielding her from the stray fans that had heard where she was on Twitter and were seeking just a glimpse of her. Callum walked a few steps behind, his face seemingly set in stone as the crowd called her name and a few flashes lit up the early morning sky.

"Oh my fucking God, it's Callum!"

"Are they really leaving together?"

"They are getting in the same car! Try and tell me they aren't dating!"

She shielded her eyes and said her thanks as the car door was opened for her, her form lingering in the doorway as she waited for Callum to catch up. His smile could power the world's electricity as he realized she wasn't shying away from being seen with him like this. She reached her hand out for him and he took it, Evelyn pulling him into the backseat of the car with a devious smirk that was all caught on camera. A few people that pushed their way towards the car were able to capture one or two images of his hand wrapping around her thigh, her legs thrown over his lap and a smile on her face as he was leaning in for a kiss as the door was closed and they sped off into the London night.

"I'll need to borrow some clothes," she said breathlessly as his lips detached from hers. Her red dress was clinging to her skin from the rain and he saw nothing wrong with the sight. Couldn't think of anything wrong with the thoughts of her in his shirt either.

"Can't wait to fucking see you in my shirt," he mumbled into her neck as she felt his tongue work against the skin. Desire was beginning to spark between her legs. A comfortable sensation of her body warming up and opening itself up to the ministrations of the man next to her.

"This dress isn't enough for you?" Her hands tilted his face so he was looking at her again. Evelyn wanted to kiss him sloppy and dirty and viciously but was very aware of the driver and her security in the passenger seat. They could of course keep a secret but she wanted to at least try to be polite.

"Everyone gets to see you in that dress. Only I am going to get to see you in my shirt."

"How the fuck do you always say the right thing?" No longer caring about propriety, she was in his lap and moaning around his tongue before he had even processed the words. Her fingers were tugging at the hair at the nape of his neck and his palm slide up the hem of her dress, Callum damn near laying her across the back seat when the bare skin of her hip met his touch.

They were in front of his townhouse quickly thereafter, Callum helping her out of the car with a strong hand and squeezing hers so tightly as they walked towards his front door. He couldn't help but think he was dreaming. That having her with him like this would all be gone in the morning and that he needed to savor it for as long as he possibly could. Savor the feeling of falling in love with someone who deserved it. Falling in love with someone as beautiful inside and out as her. Falling in love with the woman of his dreams and getting the chance to prove he could care for her and protect her and love her until his dying breath.

She shivered in the entryway as knelt down to help her remove her heels, Golo sniffing at her enthusiastically. "I'm going to need so many blankets, Cal." He rubbed his hands up and down her arms to aid in warming her up.

"We can start by getting you out of this wet dress." They couldn't help but stop more than once in the hallway towards his bedroom to kiss each other softly. To test the waters of hooking her leg around his waist. Test the waters of her fingers tracing along the band of his boxers.

"Let's get you out of this," he murmured as his finger lifted the thin strap of her dress and slid it down her arm. Evelyn was looking up at him with lust-filled eyes, her bottom lip between her teeth and her fingers still tracing patterns just below his belly button. He kissed her slower this time. His tongue opening her up slowly and spit roping between them every time they pulled away.

"I want that navy blue Carhartt one you wore on our first date," she requested as her pointer finger traced up and down the front his throat.

"Right this way." She followed him to this bedroom, plopping down onto his bed as he began rifling through his dresser to find the shirt she had requested. "Might this be the one, my lady?" Ev nodded with a smile, ready to strip tease her way out of this dress, when Golo could be heard barking from the front door. "I need to let him out one more time tonight. I'll be right back, I promise." He kissed her once, pulled away, then let Ev pull him back in for two more.

"Be quick," she whispered. She changed while she waited, lying back down onto his bed and burrow her nose against the comforter that smelled like him and made her ache with need for him in a carnal manner. The scent of him reminded her clit that she had wanted attention earlier but hadn't been given it. Evelyn closed her eyes as her fingers danced down her stomach and ghosted over the bundle of nerves. She hummed with the slight relief, slipping her fingers to collect her arousal before spreading over the hood of her clit at the top of her pussy. Her movements stayed soft and light as she found her sweet spot just to the left and teased it gently. "Fuck."

Her knees dropped completely to the side and landed on the bed, the doorway in perfect view for whenever he made it back. Oh she wanted to look so pretty for him. Her pink and wet cunt on full display for him. Pulsing and leaking for him. Her fingertips tracing his name over her clit as her body felt weightless.

"Fuck, Ev." She didn't stop as she looked to see him watching, his leather jacket shrugging from his shoulders. The sight of him rolling up the sleeves of his shirt almost enough to make her come. "You want my help, baby?" He knelt on the floor in front of her, his eyes transfixed on the movements of her fingers as she was no longer chasing release and was just keeping herself warm and ready for him.

"Taste me," she whispered as she sat up on her forearms and offered two of her fingers to his lips. His hand wrapped around her wrist and brought them to his tongue. He moaned as the taste hit all his sense. Coated his tongue in her pleasure. Altered the synapses of his brain to chase this taste and nothing else. "It's all for you, Cal. Only wet for you."

"Only ever going to be for me." His palm tapped at her pussy to illustrate the point, the jolt to her clit causing her hips to buck and a moan to slip from her lips. "Let's get you nice and sleepy for bed." He kissed at the soft skin of her inner thighs, licking at juncture where they met her cunt and nipping at the skin so see how easily he could get it to bruise.

Her hand combed through his curls as she settled back with a sigh, the tip of his nose knocking against her clit as he held his tongue flat against her and used the leverage of his arms hooked around her thighs to pull her as close as possible. His tongue flicked against every nook and cranny of the petal soft skin that it could, testing to make sure each taste of her was even sweeter than the last. "Taste like fucking honey, baby." One of her hands slipped under her shirt, his shirt, and twisted at her nipple.

"I need more," she whimpered. He took one of her fingers with zero resistance. Another slipped into her warm, wet and wanting pussy just as easily.

"How's that, Evvie?" he checked as he focused on the way her clit was peeking out more and more with each thrust as her arousal built.

"So good, Cal, so good." For his first time between her legs, she was thoroughly impressed with the way his fingers were playing the perfect tune of sexual satisfaction. Her ex had taken months to get anything real from her. And even then she was always forced to play with her own clit or coach him through use her vibrator on her. He was never able to do it himself.

He buried his knuckles to the hilt of her, moving up the bed so her head was resting on his shoulder as he moved his fingers again, the heel of his palm grinding against her clit. Ev threw her head back and wished she could record the sounds of his fingers burying themselves in her soaked pussy over and over again. The way she could hear how wet he was making her. Hear the sound of his hand slapping against her. The squeak of his bedframe. The moans that were getting caught in her throat as the tension in the bottom of her belly was growing and spreading.

"Let me look at you, princess," he cooed as he felt her walls flutter around him with the early signs of her orgasm. "Keep your eyes on me. That's a good girl."

"Cal," she whined as it was building to a breaking point. She took the hand from around her waist and wrapped both of hers around it, using it as her anchor. "Don't stop, don't stop. I'm going to fucking come." With a sharp intake of her breath, a shuddering moan fell from her lips. Callum quickly flattened four fingers against her clit and rubbed as her eyes rolled to the back of her head.

"Come on, baby, don't pull away. Take all of it." He forced her thighs back open when she tried to clamp them shut, her breath coming back to her as her hips tried to writhe away from his hand but he wouldn't let her. "You got at least one more in you, Evvie. Keep these beautiful legs nice and open for me." One more turned into two more turned into her returning the favor in the shower turned into Callum fingering her gently to her fourth orgasm of the night while he cradled her in his arms.

She slept like a rock until the sun rose, her phone telling her it was nearing 10 AM, her legs shaking as she threw them over the side of the bed. "Where you going?" Callum mumbled from his spot next to her.

"I have to brush my hair and teeth." Her ex had hated the way her hair knotted when she slept with it down. Hated kissing her with morning breath.

"Give me a kiss first."

"Callum, I have morning breath. Let me-" He sat up and tugged her back against his chest, tilting her chin up and kissing her senseless. Tongue and all.

"I couldn't give less of a fuck," he whispered.

"Your morning voice is so hot," Evelyn remarked as he puckered his lips for another kiss with a laugh.

"What?" She giggled and settled her head back against the pillows, his head rested on his hand as he was on his side next to her.

"It's deeper and raspier and the same way you love that only you get to see me in your shirt, only I get to hear your voice like this when you first wake up. It makes me happy."

"I'm happy if you're happy." She kissed his forearm and nodded with the smile that could only be described as youthful abandon.

"Happier than I've been in a long time."

[playboifenty]

╰┈➤*.⋆🎬 ❝ 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒖 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒅?

🩷 • 𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐅𝐚𝐢𝐲𝐚𝐳 x 𝐅𝐞𝐦!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 headcanons!

SPOTIFY • YOUTUBE MUSIC • TAGLIST • INFO

📃. 〄 . ᗢ . ?

🎧 ⋆ NOW PLAYING: WHAT YOU HEARD ━ SONDER. 🎶

―🌟TAGS ! fluff, angst, toxicity, hurt/comfort ish. 🎞 SUMMARY: ❛ fuck yo mind up, waste time. ❜ high hopes, unrealistic dreams, empty promises, and bottles of expensive ass champagne is the foundation of the relationship between the two. ⋆ ★ w/c: 1.1k . . . . . ☢ content warnings: a lilllll teeny tiny bit (a lot a bit) of toxicity... (its brent idk what you expected), comfort if you squint n bend your morals a bit, suggestive-ish themes, brent is a lil sassy cause why tf not, use of the n word, and ermm..lmk if i missed anything else!! ― 🔖 one , two .

ʚ 𝐫𝐞𝐧'𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐫 ! 👁️‍🗨️

omg, omg, omg, hiii!!!! this is like..my first fic on tumblr and my first piece of writing in a whileee, but i wanted to write something cause i kinda sorta have nothing on my account 😭. and this fic lowkey has like a toxic relationship in mind for their relationship but its not overly toxic. (i understand the whole media for impressionable audiences thing but just scroll past it if you not fw it, relaxxx.) so this is just a lil sumn for and to get the hang of things, so let me know if you like it!! feedback is definitely appreciated, but not harsh feedback cause im lowkey sensitive 🥲. i also do not condone, romanticize, or encourage toxic, abusive, or unhealthy relationships!! this is purely just a work of fiction. enjoy!

© don't steal my shit gang. kinda proofread, will be edited.

It started off with a few stolen glances and a sudden gift disguised as a piece of chocolate cake arriving at your table… 

“Courtesy of the table across from you.”  

And it’s been history ever since. 

“I know you seen me looking at you, you know how to grab a nigga’s attention fasho.”

“Mhm, you know you playing wit’ fire right?”

“Fire aint nothing forreal if you know how to handle it.” 

He was always finding some way to make you fold and he knew exactly what he was doing too. Stringing you on with quick but sensual kisses, “I gotchu, jus’ be patient.” licking his lips whenever the energy of his heated stares was matched by you, his hands rhythmically rubbing up and down your thighs, his eyes always being locked on you whenever you spoke. . .There was no way in hell you were going to make it out unscathed. 

Quick and flirty banter is definitely a pillar in you guy’s relationship, feeling comfortable enough to go back and forth with each other.

“Don’t miss me too much! i’ll see you soon, baby.”

“Dont miss you too much? I’ll be missing you the whole week, ma.” 

He loved buying you bracelets and necklaces with his or your name engraved on them, cute lil’ bags he be seeing you eyeing whenever you walk through Chanel, giving you personalized free VIP access to his shows, shit...sending drivers to pick you up and bring you to said shows. And he always made sure you ate and did whatever you needed to do.

“You eat? Nah fuck that, you hungry?” 

“...Maybe.”

“...Don’t play with me, y/n.”

Brent is definitely a sweet-heart in the beginning, well...in his own little way. He’s a romantic but not hopeless. He knew how to show you he cared while also not overplaying his part and things would definitely need time to build up into an actual relationship too. You weren’t stupid, you knew that even though you knew him on a deeper level than all the fame and even as far as to say you knew him as Christopher, he’s still gonna Brent Faiyaz at the end of the day. There were still going to be precautions, external problems, internal problems, and then internal problems egged on by the external ones; loving him was going to be anything but easy. But your connection started to change in different ways too, the relationship would start off with lots of excitement and rose-tinted lenses until feelings started growing and shit got serious; you was thinking it was going to give Jackie Brown and a dash of search & rescue baby...but in reality, it's giving what you heard and session 32 😭. (coughs in this nigga has avoidant attachment issues) 

As soon as he realized what you two had going on was developing into something deeper, he started getting distant. Missing calls, ignoring texts, even coming up with half-assed excuses for missed dates and blowing you off. 

“My bad, I had a lot of shit going on.” 

“I was in the studio, you know how it be, y/n.”

 “I got too caught up in London, that shit was crazy.” 

“You think i could call you back though?” 

And soon the arguments came and you two started staying mad at each other for days on end, not even bothering to try and smooth things over like in the beginning of the relationship. It was hard and it gave you a lot of anxiety. You wouldn't say that you felt unsafe perse, but you definitely didn't feel comfortable. “You mean to tell me that you can't answer the fucking phone for three seconds, Chris??” You shouted, frustration built up in your voice and it was obvious that you were fed the fuck up. It didn't help that the man sitting in front of you was quick to roll his eyes and smack his teeth, but what definitely didn't help was his smart-ass mouth. “Ain't nobody tell you to hit my jack and start losing yo shit, y/n. That's the shit that be blowing me.” 

“I don’t hear from you for days and you expect me to not get worried? You’re mad at me for giving a fuck about you??”

“Whatever, man.”

The whole thing would just progressively get worse as you two went back and forth. you saying petty shit while he just dismissed your feelings until he decided that he would just tell you shit you wanted to hear so the situation would be deaded.

 “I’m sorry, y/n...” he’d say soothingly in your ear, massaging your hips in circular motions as you’d lay your head on top of his chest, close to where his heart beats. “You know I be missing you like crazy. you can't stay mad at me for too long, baby.” and he was right. This routine repeated and repeated itself over and over again until he stopped ‘comforting’ you and just seemingly stopped caring altogether. 

“Nah bro, you tweakin’.” 

“Okay, y/n. stop calling my phone then, problem solved.”

“And you swear you don’t see how your point doesn’t make sense?”

“You got it, y/n.”

With time, you two just broke away from each other, but never ended things officially. It went from short brief phone calls to text messages and eventually, those stopped too. A hole was left in your chest and you couldn’t help but feel as if you wasted your time, continuously punishing yourself because you gave out a part of yourself you won't get back ━ but you couldn’t help but miss him. You’d find yourself compensating for his absence, making two plates of everything, migrating to his unspoken side of the bed, never taking the flowers he got you out of the vase you put them in; even though they long withered away. “I can't believe this nigga got me out here wasting food, groceries are expensive...Eggs are almost four fucking dollars! I can't do this shit, I need to get a grip and be fucking forreal.” 

But let's not pretend he didn’t find himself trying to make sense of your absence, too. 

⋆ ⤏ FINAL WORDS ! 📢 honestly this doesn't feel like it's 1k+ words but it is 😭. i'm so tired chile and i start school in 4 hours. i'm actually content with how this came out, fw it!!

PART TWO COMING SOON.

📸 TAGS !

[mod-doodles]

If Sydcarmy is not meant to be interpreted in a romantic light, why is it easier to make romantic edits of them (with little to no scenes taken out of context) than it is to produce edits of the actual canon romances on the show?? We've just had them in two short seasons with mostly 30 minute long episodes and we've already been given enough incriminating material against them...Like, it's apples and oranges, since one is a film vs. a series and they're two different genres, but peep how many romantic fan edits there are of them compared to let's say Juliet and Dawson from The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society or some other romantic work. If you don't plan on making them romantic then Mr. Storer, Sir, brother-man, babes...then why tf are you giving us so much romantic material? 🥴

Me if Sydcarmy isn't romantic endgame:

‘Oh ye of so little faith…’

(Me a cynic trying to put my faith in a production team that has done little to appease my anxiety)

Is it that they are testing the waters to assess the audiences reaction to the potential romance? Are they trying to protect Ayo from the vitriol fans have been known to spew at black female leads on shows where they are paired romantically with the white male lead? Are they being truthful and this is not going to be the happy ending that I would prefer? Unfortunately only time will tell.

As a optimistic cynic lmao, I’m not only trying to be hopeful and delulu but between the very heavy handed romantic cues, the parallels that we don’t get of any one else on the show and the song they chose to represent season 2 of the show; there’s no doubt in my mind that its not intentional. Is it possible that someone exec can ruin it all sure but I’ll take solace in knowing that FX is the ‘indie HBO’ unlike the CW they tend to take on some pretty risky/non conservative shows. 

Another thing is while I don’t think we’ll get them in a relationship unless we’re really lucky; I think it’s more likely that we’ll get a romantic movie ending. Maybe a big final kiss or something version of what we saw at end of s01 that would be heavily suggestive. A lot of writers don’t know how to write past such a high even in the romance genre, thankfully we have fanfics for the happily ever after and beyond. 

When all else fails I remember Kasama is the goal, and like Genie said I do see a lot of parallels lolllll, the only important one is that the owners are married and operating the business together!

[reilleclan-blog]

Ok gang so I came across a stray cat a couple nights ago the kitten was crying so loudly out my window I couldn't not help it, so yes I did bring it inside, I wouldn't have done that if it was completely feral cats usually feral very feral cats don't come near humans they'll wait for food but not if u tryna "lure" them. So I fed the cat thinking it would stop crying but it also wanted to come inside the house and I caved b/c fuck me for giving a fuck about a baby cat. But I put it in the bathroom downstairs at least it would be safe and I gave it more food and stayed with it a little, I don't even think the thing slept, and afterwards I told my mom I took it in and she starts yelling at me like very much verbally abusing me for trying to protect a baby animal. Like yes the animal could have flees but I'm not gonna hear a baby and not help it I guess. So after she finished yelling and guilt tripping the fuk out of me, the kitten ran out of my arms when I was deciding to walk it to a shelter, when it left my arms I went back inside crying b/c I felt so bad just because I wanted to help A BABY KITTEN? Fast forward, I unfortunately couldn't do much to help it I fed it another night but that was it. The same day I fed it, I come home and find out the neighbors took the little thing in. I'm ngl I was happy to hear that but a bit worried I guess I'm worried b/c I was the only one really helping it the past few nights now these ppl have taken it in.

Ig I don't have to worry anymore since it'll be safe but ngl I wanted the cat . I even named it (in my head) but I knew it was dumb to think I could keep it. I just knew if no one was gonna help it I would. Another thing that annoys me tho is how my mother's reaction about the animal was so dramatic she could've won an Oscar with all the yelling and guilt tripping she did. She yells at me about how I could possibly die if it had rabies and shit like that and saying how she couldn't pay for my funeral if I died(while she's constantly online shopping) I'm ngl i appreciate what my mother does for me but most of the shit is abusive and I'm not gonna kiss her ass when I know I've been abusived most my life and everyone tells me to just suck it up or "that's my mom that's ur dad" as if that abuse doesn't haunt everyday I've been breathing.

She did all that yelling and verbal abusing and guilt tripping all for her to be in my face a couple hours later talking about "it's cute"(the cat) saying "it's my fault" the cat coming to the door, she says it in a "joking" way but how tf do u think I'm supposed to react after u just made me feel like absolute dog shit just for caring for a kitten. And when I tell u the kitten was so affectionate and very loving, it just wanted attention. It was probably the nicest kitten I'd ever met . But yeah, my mom goes from yelling at me like she's fucking insane to acting like it NEVER happened. I've never heard an apology from my parents that ever mattered . ( just as I'm typing this she comes into my room telling me the "kitten isn't loyal" again trying to be funny, but again u yelled at me like a fucking psycho just for caring about it. She act like I let it play all through the house and scratch furniture or some shit. I just don't understand this lady at all. I need to leave this place. I don't think I'll be that much happier but maybe I'd be "safer") anyways again I don't have to worry about it ig

Edit: neighbors took the cat in then threw it back outside^^'

And my mother says "they prob think it's our cat" please why in the world would they think it's ours when the first night I took it in u screamed so loud at me everyone could hear that it wasn't our cat. Also I went outside with the damn thing crying in my arms, I think anyone with context clues would understand that ain't my cat, when it jumps out my arms . I swear everything my mother says is said to only disagree with me it's not to make sense , it's just to disagree , so anyways I guess I will call a shelter. And she comes into my room trying to lecture me again about what I did, and obviously I'm frustrated b/c why the fuck do I need to hear u say something over and over , but this time u want to say it "calmly" "I'm not screaming at u or nothing just trying to talk" oh but the first time u couldn't have done that ? This lady was screaming at me so bad u would think someone was getting murdered. I– my feelings never fucking matter , Never. And she gets butthurt because I DONT WANT TO HEAR THE SAME SHIT SHE DONE ALREADY SAID SCREAMING AT ME LIKE A FUCKING PSYCHO. ESPECIALLY AFTER NO APOLOGY NO NOTHING I DONT EXPECT ONE BECAUSE IM NOT EVEN SEEN AS A HUMAN TO MY PARENTS, BUT DID U THINK I JUST FORGOT HOW U SCREAMED AT ME ??? REALLY? IM THE ONE BEING PETTY BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO HEAR SOMETHING I ALREADY WAS TOLD WHILE BEING DISRESPECTED PLEASE FUCKING EXPLAIN THAT

[shoko-komi]

This Special Edition of The Komi Report is split into multiple posts. This is Part Two. Click here for Part One

5. It's Emoyama, Continued

I'm only listing the final chapter, but the whole little arc about Emoyama is basically the 5th pick. It added a new word to my vocabulary – Emoi. I'd say that on its own warrants a place here. But that's far from the only reason. 

With Najimi tagging along for the ride, these chapters feel like old times again. Komi's got a problem communicating with a classmate, the three stooges (Komi, Tadano, and Najimi) put their heads together to reach an understanding, and goofs ensue. It's fun, it's funny, it's light, and it's sweet. And it's well set up, with Emoyama's reason for crisis (peeling the unripe fruit of Emoi) having occurred quite a while beforehand. 

Add onto that how long Emoyama has been around - she even appears as a teaser in the (current) final scene of the anime... 

...along with Lily Sukida. Now that's what I call venerable. Anytime a character like her finally gets some serious attention it's a surprise, a delight, and a treat. Komi's world is full of sleeper agents waiting for their moment. (Just btw, I super ship Sukida and Emoyama now. Maybe I should write a fic....) 

Plus... 

...it gave us this. Sledgehammer Komi...... 

I love you, Emoyama. And your mother

Honourable Mentions 407 – Interview  409 - Can't Say Sorry  416 – The Rest  417/418 - Ogiya/Super Awesome  427 – Cool  429/430 - Fuki's Story  433 – A Date with Rumiko 

Funniest Joke

Comedy is extremely subjective, so take this category with a grain of salt. But given how much I've had to say about Kawai, I doubt you'll be too surprised: 

When tf did she have time to make this??????? It's all of the buildup that makes this so memorable to me; how Kawai is so serious and intimidating until she bonds with komi. Then it's like a switch flips in her head. She's such a dork. 

The whole of 393 is one joke – Kawai made a DVD about how they'd benefit from marrying her – so I'm saying the whole chapter gets the funniest joke award and calling it day. There's no better way to explain why this one's a winner than to show you some screenshots, so enjoy: 

I love you, Kawai (it bears repeating) 

Most Emoi Moment

This award would have gone to the kiss, but there's an underdog who I think has worked harder for it. She's captain of the track team; an aspiring restaurateur; an old friend, a bitter rival, and a true hero; and she's never won a damn thing in her life. She needs this. 

She's Makeru Yadano at the year three sports carnival!!! I bet you were surprised this chapter wasn't mentioned among my top picks; not even the honourable mentions!! That's what we in the biz call a fake out. I could never forget my girl Makeru. 

Something I noticed while writing this - Yadano probably would have won... 

...except that Komi got a head start. You can see that Yadano starts a moment behind (because her teammates are Sarutahiko and Inui, RIP). A relay race is a team effort, so can you really say that Yadano lost? Maybe I'm undermining her personal growth moment. Whoops. 

emoi...............................

I would also like to pay my respects to Benujit Spopo, a walk-of-fame KCC gag in my opinion. It appeared this year! 

(From Ch. 404 – Tales from the Summer Festival, Part 2) 

I love you, Yadano

Reader's Choice

Now is the time. This is the moment. The most coveted and prestigious award of all – the Reader's Choice Award. (It's the most coveted and prestigious because it's determined by democracy 🫡) 

For this category, the Komi Report received a record-shattering four votes - that's right!! Four votes!!! From you, the readers. 

The votes were extremely varied, and it turned out to be very useful that most people named multiple chapters in their submission. I used a sort of preferential voting system – I tallied everyone's first choice and there was no winner, so I added everyone's second choice, then third etc etc. 

Thus we find our victor. With a landside two votes, the 2023 Reader's Choice Award goes to: 

*drum roll* 

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Paam pa du paam!! Chapters 417 & 418 – Ogiya & Super Awesome!!!! 

Well deserved!!!!!!!! Ogiya's story is heartbreaking; he was driven to become a literal man baby to escape the terrible price of popularity. Then Komi becomes the most assertive we've ever seen her as she keeps pushing him to accept her friendship. In the end, barriers are broken down!! Emoi!!!

I'm looking at this now... and Komi saying "It's alright. I'm super strong so I'll make sure you're alright" and the look on Ogiya's face.... that's making me tear up...

I love how Tadano and Ogiya are said to have been hanging out at other times before this event. It creates the feeling that these characters have lives when we aren't looking at them – very cool! It also demonstrates that Tadano attracts socially maladjusted people like a magnet. I'd say it's his gentle nature. 

My warmest thanks to everyone for their submissions. 

Conclusion

Phew... I'm knackered. I've been typing this in a document and the word count has passed 4,000... wowzers! 

If you've come this far, I extend to you my sincerest gratitude. I would have prepared and posted this even if I didn't expect anyone to see it, so to have someone read it all the way to the end is very cool. Maybe you even... enjoyed it?????? 

Here's my resolution for 2024 – I will strive to write every Komi Report as thoughtfully and conscientiously as I wrote this one. The weekly editions will be way shorter, of course. And I won't spend a whole week writing them, but each and every one will have the same love put into it 💪 

I hope this 2023 Annual Edition of The Komi Report got you excited about Komi Can't Communicate; whether that excitement is from being reminded of all the good times we've had, or from being annoyed by my opinions. Either way, you're thinking about Komi. 

I win. 

------------------------

Now that your appetite for Komi Can't Communicate has been whet:

Check out my Komitano AMV on youtube

Or my live action Komi-san compilation video

Thank you very much! Komi returns on January 5th, 2024. I'll see you then!!

[daja-the-hypnokitten]

Jukebox reviews part 47! For context, see my post “A Project” under  this same tag. If you want to see a full list of his EMCSA stories,  they can be found here, sorted alphabetically.And if you want to see some of his drabbles, check out his blog at @jukeboxemcsa

Black Reign

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

8/17/2019                                     mc ff mf md sf

There's a joke in here about RISK-aware kink, if that's what the health-checking machine is called. Also hey! A movie reference I get! That's rare! Also, this is another one of those creepy existential horror more than erotica stories that Jukebox is really good at, and I rarely can stomach. (Horror is just not my thing.) But if you like the sort of "what is this thing and why is it so horrifying" genre, this might be up your alley. 

 Let You Win

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

8/24/2019                                     mc ff

I feel like there's a song lyric here that Josie really would benefit from hearing: "I can learn to resist anything but temptation" - it's a lovely lyric, very useful for sweet, submissive ladies who want to act like they can resist for a while. Josie and Marina from "Temptation Dice" are back, and Josie's no better at resisting Marina's shenanigans than she was in the last story. This is lovely, and ... if I edit out certain bits that go outside of what a partner and I have negotiated, feels very like the sort of way I play with her. (But without the ownership themes; I get to borrow her sometimes, but that's the extent of it, and we're both happy with that. Also, neither of us feel any desire to use sex for anything; trance is reward enough, for us.) So that leaves this story hitting a very sweet spot in a "oh, hi there Dominant Brain Desires" way that most erotica just doesn't for me. And it's sweet and precious, even if Marina is anything but fair. (But then, who said *anything* about fair?) 10/10 spirals 

 Kiss and Control

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

8/31/2019                                     mc ff cb

Hee, Sharpe and Rose are lovely, and I like adding in another gal and them all being ok with seeing how it might possibly go. And everything about this is so well written, including the trap and how they get out of it. And kiss compulsions? Oh, being compelled to kiss someone can be *such* fun, even if (especially if?) you're unable to initially. When you have to wait before you can act on that compulsion, so it just builds... which, ok, ok, we don't see that in this story, but I've been on the recieving end of that, and I do enjoy it! I might be projecting a little. 10/10 spirals 

 Our Lullaby

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

9/7/2019                                       mc ff

Tasha is devious. Unethically so, but still, within a standard deviation of what passes for almost consensual in mind control erotica. Wrapping in a level of sleep deprivation with her control and with training Kenzie to consciously associate her with care and comfort, while also hiding from her the further brainwashing and control? It's sneaky and clever and hot, and just a good read. 8/10 spirals 

 Yesterday Was Just a Dream

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

9/14/2019                                     mc mf md

I ... find this one hard to read. The flavor of the betrayal, the gaslighting, all of it just ... squicks me tf out. If you like the "Man brainwashes his daughter's 18 year old best friend" trope, then this is probably more up your alley than it is mine. 

 Naked in Front of the Computer

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

9/21/2019                                     mc mf md ma

Be careful what you wish for - you just might get it? Or, at least, be sure you consider how much you want the fantasy of something vs how much you want the reality of it before you start engaging with a fantasy that could become your reality. That said, because Niusha does clearly want this - enough to have consciously started following along - well, that lets the quiet, self-reinforcing control come off as more hot than creepy. Though I do hope her Master encourages her to keep working - there's enough of a health care worker shortage that it'd be nice to not lose one when she could be brainwashed to find work satisfying and a way of reveling in how controlled she is. 9/10 spirals 

 Jennifer Lost the War

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

9/28/2019                                     mc ff

Another effectively magic form of control, so unsurprisingly it doesn't work well for me. Add in the level of betrayal in play here - not willing betrayal, but I find it doesn't change things for me - and I dont' enjoy this story much. Which is a shame, because I often enjoy a good mantra burrowing its way into someone's mind, warping the way they think, well. That's *hot.* But the other elements in this story just make it not quite work as well as it otherwise might. 6/10 spirals 

 Fade Into the Background

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

10/5/2019                                     mc

This is another induction script, designed to improve hypnotizability. Which I'm sure is helpful for many folk, but I'm already *too good* at looking for excuses to go into trance, thanks ;) I've only been doing this for ... gosh, 14 years now. You get a little practice in that amount of time. But still, it's a good thing to have. And, as always, it's technically wonderful. 9/10 spirals 

 Before I Forget (Jukebox)

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

10/12/2019                                   mc ff hu

... Monotremes are animals, not drugs, sillly brainwashed Vicki. This letter is a little hard to follow, which makes sense in context but also hurts it as a story a little. Also I want to know what kind of drug Holly's actually using, just out of professional curiosity, but like, it probably wouldn't work like that, anyway, because there'd be other side effects. It's a fun shift in the usual style of Jukebox's writing, though it's an echo of  Unsent in some ways? Though when you've written so many stories naturally a few are going to feel like each other. It's a good attempt at conveying what needs to be conveyed, though I doubt it'll work. 8/10 spirals 

 Easy to Ignore

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

10/26/2019                                   mc mf fd

Oh, come on, if you're going to do that, lady, make sure you're protecting the potentially fragile books in the stacks. Bring a condom with you and make him put it on first. Then you don't risk getting bodily fluids on the books. These things are *important.* Beyond that bit of me overthinking things (I do have a habit of that, don't' I?), it's a clever scheme, reasonably well grounded. And the description of how the hypnosis effects Bryce is lovely, with her words fading in and out to be replaced by his thoughts ... which fit perfectly with what she's saying, of course. 8/10 spirals

[iovetecchou]

Same anon, trying them again, some quotes I came up with between reader and the hunting dogs:

Reader: what do you have teruko??

Teruko: a KNIFE!, While running away

Reader: NOOOOOOO

Reader: so you payed jouno forty bucks so he wouldn't bully me?

Tecchou:....yeah

Reader: really? Forty bucks is a lot, did you start at forty bucks? I really think you could have done it for 9.50$

*takes place when chuuya comes to rescue the ada

Reader:*spots the short ginger, falls in love with ginger, "hey baby, your under arrest because you stole my heart💓

Jouno smacking his head: NAME HOW MANY TIMES TO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO STOP FLIRTING WITH THE ENEMY

*takes place after chuuya and others escape

Jouno to reader: it's such a great loss for all of us that tecchou has passed on, but we need to move on and get those terrorists

Tecchou: IM ALIVE

Jouno: god dammit.

*teruko and reader at their daily sleepover

Reader: teruko how can you continuously pursue the commander when it's obvious he'll never return your feelings?

Teruko: how can you pursue fictional people when they are to fictional to return your feelings?

Reader:....

Reader: touche

Reader with jouno: LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN, FRIDGE YOU, FRIDGE YOU.

Reader with tecchou: precious baby, it's okay, what do you need?

*takes place whenever tecchou stabbed kenji with a sword

Reader: what's with you and stabbing 14 year olds?(sorry I had something and forgot it)

Reader: *conspires with teruko and takes pictures of tecchou and jouno then edits them to make it look like they love each other

Jouno, in the middle of the night calling an emergency: WHO POSTED PICTURES OF ME AND TECCHOU KISSING THIS NEVER HAPPENED! AND WHY TF DOES IT HAVE 9 BILLION LIKES THERE AREN'T THAT MANY PEOPLE

Reader & teruko: how do you know this, your blind?

Jouno: BECAUSE TECCHOU AND I WERE GETTING SOME COFFEE AND THEN SOME ELDERLY WOMEN TOLD US HOW CUTE OUR MARRIAGE WAS!

*Reader & teruko laughing their buts off, then running away because jouno tries to kill them.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING 😙🫶💗

[just-some-random-blogger]

good morning, lovie!! this kitten TT theyre so tiny i cant help myself TT 'what did i do?' exist 'I GOT A NEW OUTFIT FOR LISA!' oh so cute🥺 it looks so pirate-ish? 'i want to write ideas outside my reqs' if itll be easier than making reqs then do it. its ok. tumblr is nothing in comparison with your comfort. 'while rereading it i was like 'damn im really good at writing’' its good bc you are. hope you get out too. praying for you, m cutie. 'i want a hug from you for real' oh nooo sweetheart no need to cry. i only can give you dozens of virtual hugs but still luvluvluv u<з did you watch doctor who? i wanted to recommend s6 but then i understood there you cant watch just one ep bc 1-7 is the whole complete plotline💀 but it was so confusing and dramatic it worth it. 'ive seen crack edits' OH babygirl TT they had SUCH a drama TT i cried. there was my fav quote. oh what a good time it was... 'i cant write it im sorry' it fine you shouldnt be sorry! 'She loves her love for daemon more than daemon himself?' yes. 'i literally make mood boards' and its even more time-consuming? 'have not enjoyed writing a series in a long time' im glad to know you enjoy it!! 'i might really just stop writing for a while' if thats what you need then ok. you do owe nothing to anyone. its solely your choice. 'this post is really cute too' OMG YES its a leaf dragon TT and it has the paws TT 'im currently in class not listening because id rather reply to you' bad example for kids, catmom. but ok its good to know you already know it. its cute what you do to reply me<з r u better? 'its so hot my head hurts' FREEZY KISSES 'the fact you care enough to do that' OFC I DO. if i have symbols ill write one idea here. 'i dont want to fail' you will not. youre smart, talented and hard-working. you wont fail. youll graduate and everythingll be just fine. 'i also wanted to share this video about wolves' omg yes! its so.. reliving? its good to know nature has its ways. sorry i wasnt able to watch the tiger series as i cant really concentrate on the long vids and has been sleeping and dozing off for the whole day TT ill definately watch it later though. AJDHFJKF half an hour ago i was like hm i need to check smth on youtube and got completely carried away TT im back though. yk i read a fic abt shadow & bone then i did a research abt whole grishaverse so i learnt this universe and its (ESPECIALLY) language are inspired by russia in 19th century and russian and mongolian and i have LOTS of questions TT like??? ok this main idk antagonist(?) darklings name is alexander morozovA and its the fem form of last name while the fem character has surname safin but its a musc form??? and yeah the main characters surname starkov is also the musc form?? these are real last names here TT and while i can get why fem characters have musc last names 1) musc is the first form so its not rare to see musc words with the fem characters in foreign things 2) they dont derive from the real russian word BUT HIS last name???? its THE MOST common, traditional and productive way to make a surname its literally a rus word+suffix ov+ no enging if its musc or ending a if its fem. WHY??? so many questions and no answers (or i wasnt searching for them). and why tf they are GRISHA TT grisha is just the form of name Grigorii WHY TF the whole social group is called GRISHA? i have a few questions to the language but ok i wont be ranting too much. like i was SO amused. i laughed so hard TT ok i was about writing a fic idea but i got too carried away by this. so plss really let me know if you feel like it can spoil your mood or youre tired of others reqs. i consider it pretty (my bestie said its cliche and too suppy :( ) and would like too see it. but i dont want to force you. and you shouldnt do it to yourself! i dont want you to feel pressed bc of me. bc of anything really. sorry for this outburst. im still procrastinating (clown emoji bc the site i was taking them from became shitty). hope you do better. have a good day/evening/night! freezy hugs to feel a lil better! luv u! take care<з

HI <3

have you ever watched aristocats? i remember loving it as a child but also i cant remember anything that happened in the film besides the fact i love this kitty mari(? is that her name lol AHHAH) so much

good morning, lovie!! this kitten TT theyre so tiny i cant help myself TT

YES TEENY TINY KITTY <3

'what did i do?' exist

omg HAHAHA love that for me HAHA

'I GOT A NEW OUTFIT FOR LISA!' oh so cute🥺 it looks so pirate-ish?

oh does it. it just looks... cute to me HAHAHAH

'i want to write ideas outside my reqs' if itll be easier than making reqs then do it. its ok. tumblr is nothing in comparison with your comfort.

<3 <3

'while rereading it i was like 'damn im really good at writing’' its good bc you are. hope you get out too. praying for you, m cutie.

thank you i love you

'i want a hug from you for real' oh nooo sweetheart no need to cry. i only can give you dozens of virtual hugs but still luvluvluv u<з

did you watch doctor who? i wanted to recommend s6 but then i understood there you cant watch just one ep bc 1-7 is the whole complete plotline💀 but it was so confusing and dramatic it worth it.

lol ok once i finish my midterms ill watch that after watching one ep from the last of us. now i have something to look forward to now i have to finish my activities

'ive seen crack edits' OH babygirl TT they had SUCH a drama TT i cried. there was my fav quote. oh what a good time it was...

they look like they have so much fun, both in the show but also shooting it irl

'i cant write it im sorry' it fine you shouldnt be sorry!

T_T

'She loves her love for daemon more than daemon himself?' yes.

damn ok HAHAH

'i literally make mood boards' and its even more time-consuming?

but its part of the process. i love making art and moodboards <3

'have not enjoyed writing a series in a long time' im glad to know you enjoy it!!

<3 it is so much fun to write that. it sucks that i find it hard to write, though i did manage to make a pedro pascal fic again AHAHHA

'i might really just stop writing for a while' if thats what you need then ok. you do owe nothing to anyone. its solely your choice.

thank you my love

'this post is really cute too' OMG YES its a leaf dragon TT and it has the paws TT

THE BEANZ I LOVE THE PAW PAW BEANS

'im currently in class not listening because id rather reply to you' bad example for kids, catmom. but ok its good to know you already know it. its cute what you do to reply me<з r u better?

i never said you should follow my example. listen to your teachers kid. also idk if im better im usually out of it when im hungry im quite hungry rn but ill eat later after my grunkle is finished eating

'its so hot my head hurts' FREEZY KISSES

thank you. it rained today, so its not hot. your freezy kisses did that

'the fact you care enough to do that' OFC I DO. if i have symbols ill write one idea here.

T_T im just really hungry but this is making me emotional T_T

'i dont want to fail' you will not. youre smart, talented and hard-working. you wont fail. youll graduate and everythingll be just fine.

thank you <3 T_T

'i also wanted to share this video about wolves' omg yes! its so.. reliving? its good to know nature has its ways. sorry i wasnt able to watch the tiger series as i cant really concentrate on the long vids and has been sleeping and dozing off for the whole day TT ill definately watch it later though.

you dont have to watch the tiger series if you dont want to. i only shared it because i liked it and you shared something you like to me. i love the wolf video so much. i love nature. i love God. i love everything <3

AJDHFJKF half an hour ago i was like hm i need to check smth on youtube and got completely carried away TT im back though.

me HAHAAH

yk i read a fic abt shadow & bone

omg you like shadow and bone too <3 SLAY IM SO EXCITED TO WATCH S2

then i did a research abt whole grishaverse so i learnt this universe and its (ESPECIALLY) language are inspired by russia in 19th century and russian and mongolian and i have LOTS of questions TT like???

i know you dont have tiktok but there is this tiktok creator that is think is like... from one of the stan countries, and she talked about what you just told me, or things like that. its really interesting to know there is a grishaverse! good for you hahahh you can understand the russian stuff/inspo cause youre russian <3

ok this main idk antagonist(?) darklings name is alexander morozovA and its the fem form of last name while the fem character has surname safin but its a musc form??? and yeah the main characters surname starkov is also the musc form??

i think slay i love that for them i didnt even know that but they totally did it for me <3 HAHAH

these are real last names here TT and while i can get why fem characters have musc last names 1) musc is the first form so its not rare to see musc words with the fem characters in foreign things 2) they dont derive from the real russian word BUT HIS last name???? its THE MOST common, traditional and productive way to make a surname its literally a rus word+suffix ov+ no enging if its musc or ending a if its fem. WHY??? so many questions and no answers (or i wasnt searching for them).

i dont think i understand this anymore. AHHA i dont know enough about russian/russian names to get it AHHAH. maybe they did it for the aesthetic. are you watching season 1? or season 2? all i know is i was so sosoossosososo excited to see ben barnes my benny barnes who i keep having a crush on in every stage of my life. how dare he be so hot T_T

and why tf they are GRISHA TT grisha is just the form of name Grigorii WHY TF the whole social group is called GRISHA? i have a few questions to the language but ok i wont be ranting too much. like i was SO amused. i laughed so hard TT

it makes me wonder if the original creator of this world, the author or the books, is russian. i just looked it up, apparently she is israelli-american interesting lol HAHAHAH

ok i was about writing a fic idea but i got too carried away by this. so plss really let me know if you feel like it can spoil your mood or youre tired of others reqs. i consider it pretty (my bestie said its cliche and too suppy :( ) and would like too see it. but i dont want to force you. and you shouldnt do it to yourself! i dont want you to feel pressed bc of me. bc of anything really. sorry for this outburst. im still procrastinating (clown emoji bc the site i was taking them from became shitty).

jokes on your friend i love cliche stories. yum yum yum HAHAHH. you should have just told me my love. i love hearing your ideas, even though i have no intention to write them. i love you so much dont apologize for 'this outburst'

hope you do better. have a good day/evening/night! freezy hugs to feel a lil better! luv u! take care<з

im going to eat then do homework <3 i hope you have a wonderful day <3 take care ok

xxx

[allthedamnlove]

omg i love that you can talk about drewfiona & rafesofia for hours lmao bc same! i hate how the riaras (yuck) on twitter shit on sofia sm and say her and rafe had nothing and that she was filler like pls don’t piss me off…they literally had more chemistry than anyone else. that proposal scene itself was greater than every romantic scene combined. and they’re both such GOOD actors. they just didn’t have a fleshed out plot line which we can blame the writers for, but if they had the screen time and the material they would literally be the most talked about thing in the whole show. meanwhile kiara’s character only knows one real facial expression and it’s the pissed off face she makes all the time #nooffense anyways idgaf, i hope sofia and rafe end up together and married and i hope we get drew and fiona press next season. i need to see those sweetie pies interacting moreee!

This is a biggg answer so ill put this down

first of all THANK YOU for the compliment. It is going to be a tough year waiting for obx and then RIARAS DRONING IN OUR EARS with a chainsaw talking about muh "enemies to lovers" trope while its clear that jj would probably come back alive, skin rafe and put him on the coffin rather than see kie and rafe. So any support for sofia is great

Oh both of them were amazing this season even tho they had like six scenes LIKE WHAT IS THIS, SOVIET RUSSIA can you please give me more I am starving here. But obviously since "sofia is a filler charcter' her own story and rafes and sof's relationship dont matter . i wish obx was shot in the 2000s then every season would have 23 eps and we would get such an amazing storyline. And you're so true, even with the minimal scenes their edits in insta and twt are going on fire. clearly some people who dont like fun are like "oh i dont like sofia" well I LOVE HER so move tf on and enjoy. People are clearly getting the agenda buttt some idiots are ruining it for us butt jiaras would literally hang jpates so i dont think fanservice will come in next season. They literally want rafe to be dead rather than with kie and they are pissed as hell abt jj so nope i hope to god that shit doesn't happen. I feel like next summer or autumn they may start shooting (idk tbh) so if we could just see on bts if fiona will be there, we will know for sure that sofia's story is not over.

I am honestly so sad for jiaras situation like they were so cute from s1 till s4 pt 1 like rudy leaving along with the entire drama kinda completely ruined jiara and its so sad cuz they have and HAD SO much potential like they COULD HAVE KISSED IN SO MANY SCENES. The scene when jj and sarah reunite with the rest of the gang should have also had a jj and kie reunion scene that would have ATE and also what the fuck was that ending, his own dad killing him that's so fucking tragic. That shit made ward and john sr the father of the series who both are ASSHOLES btw. Culimination of all that, madison and rudy just let go of professionalism and didn't provide the audience what they deserve. so that ended up kie looking like shes pissed off at jj; even when jj told his lifes been a lie she was...ok...like girl my bb sofia sounded more concerned when rafe called her in morocco. when compared to that with rafe literally proposing to sofia when rafes probably 23 and shes like probs 21 like OH HE WANTS HER BAD. jj didn't even properly kiss her LIKE THATS DIABOLICAL and they come for sofia being bland...like look in the mirror. Thats why psycho ship fans feel like they will get ri*ra like rafe actually was "amicable" key word "amicable" to her but again she had a knife on her back when he approached and rafe still kinda loathes her soooo.

I feel that they dont even watch the same series like jj and kie has been loving each other FOR YEARS loca and their delusional ass thinks that just because rafe threw some smouldering looks doesn't mean that kie is going to jump him and its very very disrespectful to kie that they want them together tbh.

Now....lets talk about it....I MEAN AGAIN THAT PROPOSAL SCENE CHILLSSSS. I hate that tiktok is a cesspool mostly filled with mentally weird people who are just liking riara edits when THERE IS LITERALLY A GODDAMN POWER COUPLE THAT YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN SLEEPING ON. I mean I loved all the ship chem this season; jarah blew me away and as usual we love cleopope in this fam but RAFE was actually making moves EXCEPT THAT FUCKASS SCENE like buying a property for her and marrying her LIKE THAT IS A FUTURE WIFE GUY. And AGAIN UGHH THE CHEMISTRY WAS CHEMISTRYING AND I HATE THAT I DIDNT GET ENOUGH SCENES. I would literally fall on my knees if I can get that enduro scene where rafe carries sofia BRIDAL STYLE like CALM DOWN. Buttt people say that its actually BTS which means DOUBLE DEATH LIKE HUH WHY DID THAT HAPPEN. Trust me, if only sofia was written by a woman instead of a m*n, we would have gotten so much more. Also a lot of self insert fics make sofia look like the bad guy NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT like obvio the yn is the heroine but like it just irks me that's all; that's just my personal opinion. And only very handful writers, not including the Brazilian Portuguese Rofia AUs (btw are amazing and you guys should totally check it out; i just google translate and read them.) there is not much fanfic or discourse abt them on ao3 or tumble again is kinda sad. I have mapped out a story for them butt i am kinda busy with my life rn even tho my brain and attention span is fried; so i cant be able to write it right now but i am for sure writing it cuz I'm sick and tired of the showrunners ruining the top tier potential that rafe and sofia have

I remember me and the approx 20 people in this app speculating abt whats going to happen in pt 2 after oct regarding rofia. I mean I thought the truth would come out and it will be messy so I THOUGHT I WAS READY to process it. BUT THEN BOOM RAFE PROPOSED

RAFE PROPOSED LIKE WHAT

I remember LITERALLY HOLLERING and screaming WOOOHOOO when he proposed. OH IT WAS EVERYTHING, some people say it was half baked like....whatever girl. the fact that man thought of marrying her itself is like HUH. I thought we'll get like a "i love you" confession BUT NEVER A FUCKING ENGAGEMENT SCENE. So Jpates your beatings will be less for that one reason.

And the way they kissed THREE TIMES BITCH I WAS UPPPP. Him close to crying like SOFIA YOU DID IT GIRL YOU DID IT. He clearly loves her like a lot and I hate that his INSECURE ASS would just break it up IN MOROCCO OVER A GUY WHOS CLEARLY A CON. AND THE WORST PART IS MY GIRL WAS SO HEARTBROKEN LIKE THAT SHOT OF HER JUST DROPPING THE PHONE. SOMEONE HOLD MY BABY SHE DOESNT DESERVE THIS. He straight up said "DONE" like mfer talk it out, acting LIKE HE JUST DIDNT CUT SOFIA OFF WHILE SHE WAS TRYING TO SAY THAT SHE MADE A MISTAKE (again warranted cuz rafe is an insecure ass and deserves that whooping, treating the love of your life like that DUSTY BEHAVIOUR).

Everyone says that drew has chemistry with everyone...i kinda disagree. I watched The Other Zoey and as much as i liked it the chemistry between Katherine and drew was not hitting at all. And the background score was not it at all, I was actually fast forwarding for all the romantic scenes with music cuz that was just tacky. And i feel like the final kiss was like...meh. I love the character Zach tho, he is so fuckng cute but I feel like the art direction and the overall aesthetic and the chemistry was not up to the mark. I was expecting more like"to all the boys i loved before" level cuteness but nope it was...ok ig. Compared to that, fiona and drew seem so intense on obx like the banter and the sexual tension is very palpable between sofia and rafe. even in scenes like the one second WHERE SOF PUTS HER HEAD ON RAFES SHOULDER like I felt that chemistry was chemistryfying.

I can talk about them for eons I am not even kidding. I love them smmm. THANK YOU FOR THE ASK

[sneaselsawashiro-blog]

As a bit of personal insight, I think it's safe to say that DW Fa Zheng doesn't fully understand himself as to why he serves Liu Bei other than his personal obligation to his home province of Yi.

But I think it's also to add to DW Liu Bei's character in that "hey, this murderous trickster obsessed about revenge and/or debts of any kind is somehow unnerved from this guy's charismatic kindness". The more I look at it especially with Fa Zheng's hypothetical DLC scenario (where Jiang Wei wasn't recruited in Tianshui which I find funny lol), the more I see Fa Zheng as a guy who owes far too much to Liu Bei always being so generous to him, being so off-put by his kindness and/or actually being a softie in reality (tsundere Fa Zheng lol).

But overall I'm all for at least making him a deeper-layered character regardless even if the novel whitewashed him a bit. At least in history, everyone in Shu acknowledged Fa Zheng's death to be a major setback whereas why tf did no one in the novel mourn his passing even IF it went out of its way to say he basically corrected some of his wrongdoings? That kind of inconsistency is another thing to get mad at the novel about that I'm glad DW goes out of its way to avert (e.g. Lu Su since DW8, amazing since sliced bread *chef's kiss*).

The one other aspect I like about Fa Zheng's character is that while he's a vindictive debt-repayer, he's not one to consider bad timings. He no doubt made it a point to Liu Bei in his DW9 DLC route where after the events of Yiling and defending Yangping Gate from another punitive Wei assault from the north, he already considered the "revenge against Wu to be served" and that "yeah, we already used resources against them in that regard, let's not go overkill for such things, and you need to remember you vision for virtue/benevolence you cared so much about since look on the bright side, Guan Yu is still alive".

And it also impresses me that he managed to have Liu Bei himself go down to Nanzhong to talk with Meng Huo himself. Even it had to involves some bs trickery on Wu's part (Lu Su would've no doubt stopped such bs and Lu Xun would've known better too), it was cool to see an alternate take on the Nanzhong Campaign and what if Liu Bei and Meng Huo met. It sounds bs just like with Zhuge Liang vs. Meng Huo, but alas. Nanman and Shu friendship always interested me.

Edit via 8/29/2024: I also noticed that Liu Bei too likes to actually make sure he can pay back his debts hence his times serving under Tao Qian and then Liu Biao, and I assume Fa Zheng also finds a bit of kinship towards Liu Bei on that (via their Warriors portrayals that is).

Dynasty Warriors: Who Is Fa Zheng?

In March of 2018 I wrote a very long article about Fa Zheng. I was going to write articles like that for everyone in DW9 but soon realized it was entirely unsustainable. This article was 6,000 words long with over 100 citations and footnotes. In other words, hopelessly long-winded. It does, however, let me know precisely what I was thinking at that time, which makes this much shorter article easier to write.

I didn’t really expect Fa Zheng to ever be added to Dynasty Warriors. The franchise has generally preferred to credit his achievements to others (particularly Pang Tong and Zhuge Liang) and the dark stuff in his personal life taints the image they try to project of the saintly Liu Bei and his Benevolent Buddies. Nevertheless, they included him in DW8:XL so he was grandfathered into DW9.

In Koei’s various strategy games (ROT3K and Dynasty Tactics) he usually enjoys extremely high intelligence and is skilled in whatever ability impacts domestic policy. He tends to struggle in other areas, but that’s to be expected of the “strategist” type characters. He was added to Total War with the Fates Divided DLC, where he gets a unique appearance and ability. It’s a lot of respect to put on him.

Of course, by their nature, none of those titles give the sort of personalized narrative that he has in DW9, so that’s what I have the most to talk about.

Through his story in DW9 Fa Zheng is depicted (accurately, in my opinion) as a cunning but thoroughly villainous man. He is quick to betray Liu Zhang and help arrange Liu Bei’s attack on Shu. During the campaign he mocks Liu Zhang for not surrendering sooner. Fa Zheng’s lack of moral fiber is a recurring theme, one that causes conflict with other officials. At the end of his story, though, the narrative has Zhuge Liang agree that Fa Zheng’s lack of morals is useful, which is not a position I expected the game to take with those characters. That gets it a few points from me.

Fa Zheng comes off as one of the most genuinely intelligent characters in the game. Throughout his brief story he correctly predicts many future problems, particularly in Jing province. Though these concerns are ignored by Zhuge Liang and his other colleagues, he is ultimately proven correct. I’ll give them credit, intelligent and immoral are certainly the two words I’d use to describe Fa Zheng, and those characteristics really come through.

On the negative side, Fa Zheng has kind of a one-note obsession with revenge, retribution, etc. that gets kind of grating but at least he has other things going on in addition to that (compared to his various colleagues shouting “Justice!” “Benevolence!” or, in Huang Zhong’s case, “AARP!”)

The main narrative issue I have with his story is that they give him the stated goal of “saving Yi province.” This feels like a slapdash attempt to paint a nice gloss over actions that are otherwise just self-centered ambition. It doesn’t really make a whole lot of sense (he isn’t even from there!) but I guess they wanted a little complexity to an otherwise pretty simple character.

One final note about him in fiction: in Kessen II he is a loyal officer of Liu Zhang who only joins Liu Bei after his lord’s death. I’m confident that you wouldn’t even know who that character was supposed to be if they changed the name.

With all of that opinion given, then: who actually is Fa Zheng? Where did he come from and what was his deal? Let’s look at a brief rundown of his life.

Fa Zheng was from Youfufeng, near Chang’an, and his family was highly respected.[1] His grandfather Fa Zhen was noted as being an excellent judge of talent as well as a very accomplished scholar. He constantly refused court appointments and spent his whole life as a private scholar, dying in 188 at the age of 89.[2] Fa Zheng’s father Fa Yan pursued an official career and eventually served as an assistant to one of the Excellencies and to the Minister of Justice.[3] Not a spectacular career, but a respectable one that put Fa Zheng on the fringes of the upper crust.

Around 196, Fa Zheng and his friend Meng Da fled from Youfufeng to escape a local famine and the general destruction of the region. Together, they traveled to Yi province (which covered the geographical regions of Ba, Shu, and Nanzhong), where they took up service with the local governor Liu Zhang. For the next several years. Fa Zheng served as the head of a county in Guanghan. He was later transferred to Chengdu to serve as a military adviser of petty rank. Fa Zheng was always dissatisfied with these appointments. In addition to his low rank, other refugees from his home region spread word that he was an immoral man, and as a result Liu Zhang never put much trust in him. Despite his ambitions, Fa Zheng never rose high in Liu Zhang’s administration.[4]

In 208, Cao Cao received the surrender of Liu Zong/Cong, governor of Jing.[5] Concerned by Cao Cao’s growing strength, Liu Zhang sent an envoy named Yin Pu to meet with him. Cao Cao granted Liu Zhang and his brother titles as generals, effectively confirming their control over Yi province. Liu Zhang next sent his steward Zhang Su to Cao Cao with 300 soldiers as a tribute. Cao Cao rewarded this display by naming Zhang Su as executor of Guanghan canton.[6] Liu Zhang then sent Zhang Su’s younger brother Zhang Song with a third embassy.[7]

Fa Zheng’s biography describes Zhang Song as the steward of Yi, the same position his elder brother held.[8] Presumably, Zhang Song was promoted to this position after his brother received Guanghan. Zhang Su was noted for being handsome, while Zhang Song was short and unattractive. However, Zhang Song was the more intelligent of the brothers.[9]

When Zhang Song arrived, Cao Cao had settled Jing and was focused on pursuing Liu Bei and defeating Sun Quan. He largely ignored Zhang Song, much to the envoy’s chagrin.[10] Zhang Song did befriend one of Cao Cao’s secretaries, the scholar Yang Xiu. He showed Zhang Song Cao Cao’s commentary on Sunzi’s writings, and Zhang Song could recite it all after reading it only once.[11] This has been the source of various fictional anecdotes about Zhang Song’s intelligence. When Zhang Song returned to Yi, after witnessing Cao Cao’s defeat at Wulin, he did so with a firm hatred of Cao Cao and urged Liu Zhang to break off relations with him.[12]

Zhang Song was one of the few friends Fa Zheng made. In addition to Zhang Song’s enmity towards Cao Cao, he and Fa Zheng both detested Liu Zhang. On Zhang Song’s advice, Liu Zhang decided to sever ties with Cao Cao and ally with Liu Bei instead. Fa Zheng reluctantly served as his ambassador.[13] He and Meng Da were also ordered to bring a small body of soldiers to bolster Liu Bei’s forces as a token of goodwill.[14] Fa Zheng’s visit went well, and he was impressed by Liu Bei. He and Zhang Song conspired to replace Liu Zhang with Liu Bei at the first opportunity.[15]

For the details on how all of that shook out, you can read my article on Liu Bei's conquest of Yi province. Fa Zheng played a crucial role in orchestrating the campaign and it would be fair to regard him as the mastermind, along with Pang Tong.

Upon taking Yi, Liu Bei named Fa Zheng as executor of Shu canton, the capital of that province, as well as a general. In addition to governing Shu itself, he also served as Liu Bei’s chief military adviser. However, Fa Zheng proceeded to abuse his authority. While he rewarded anyone who had once shown him kindness, he also used his power to take revenge against anyone who he felt had slighted him. He even went so far as to murder several people, executing them without any authority or due process. Some asked Zhuge Liang to intercede and stop him, but Zhuge Liang refused due to Fa Zheng’s contributions to Liu Bei’s success.[16]

Let’s be honest, Fa Zheng has a pretty negative reputation and it’s easy to see why. His betrayal of  Liu Zhang has met with mixed opinions over the years (what’s a little light treason between friends?) but it’s hard to get around the whole “killing people for personal vengeance” thing. Still, there was more to him than that, so there are a couple of other things to look at from his time in government.

One personnel issue that came up for Liu Bei was the subject of a man named Xu Jing. He was Fa Zheng’s predecessor as executor of Shu and was a highly respected scholar. However, he planned to desert Chengdu while it was under siege and because of this Liu Bei held him in low regard. (Pot, meet kettle.) Fa Zheng told Liu Bei that although Xu Jing was a man of empty reputation, he nevertheless had a great reputation. Since Liu Bei couldn’t go door-to-door explaining why he didn’t make use of Xu Jing, it would be better to employ him lest the people of Yi think Liu Bei did not value men of talent. Liu Bei followed his advice and treated Xu Jing well.[17] He was subsequently made Liu Bei’s adjutant.[18] His nephew Chen Zhi eventually became one of Shu’s leading officials.[19]

During this time, Fa Zheng also helped compose a new legal code for Shu, along with Zhuge Liang, Liu Ba, Li Yan, and Yi Ji.[20] The fifth-century commentator Pei Songzhi recounts a discussion between Zhuge Liang and Fa Zheng regarding law. Fa Zheng argued for greater leniency and thought that since Liu Bei was new to the province, it was wisest for him to adopt the local customs and expectations before introducing new laws. Zhuge Liang believed it was best to begin with strict, even harsh rule so that any future leniency would have a greater impact.[21] Chen Shou, author of the Sanguo Zhi and a native of Shu, regarded these laws, and Zhuge Liang’s policies in particular, as strict but fair.[22] Of course, I can’t let the opportunity pass to note that while advocating for strict laws and harsh punishments, Zhuge Liang was content to let Fa Zheng commit outright murder. But laws never apply to those who make them.

After spending a couple years establishing LIu Bei’s government in Yi, Fa Zheng started advocating for war again in 217. Liu Bei accepted his arguments and launched his campaign for Hanzhong at the end of the year. You can read abut it here. Once again, Fa Zheng can be accurately described as the primary architect of the campaign. Although Liu Bei’s army suffered many setbacks throughout 217 and 218, the tide turned at the start of 219 and Liu Bei was ultimately able to claim the region.

In autumn of 219, Liu Bei named himself King of Hanzhong. Leaving Wei Yan to guard the territory, he subsequently returned to Chengdu.[23] Fa Zheng was named Director of the Secretariat and General Who Protects the Army. However, Fa Zheng did not enjoy these honors for long. He passed away the next year, at the age of 44. He was posthumously awarded a marquisate, and Liu Bei personally wept for him.[24] In subsequent years, Zhuge Liang would continue to praise Fa Zheng’s abilities. When Liu Bei was defeated in Yidu in 222, Zhuge Liang lamented, “If Fa Xiaozhi were still here, then he would have been able to hold back our ruler, and have him not go east, but even if we had gone east, then it certainly would not have been this much of a disaster.”[25]

Holding the two of them up side-by-side, the DW9 Fa Zheng does have a lot of overlap with the real deal. 

As always, most fictitious depictions of Fa Zheng can be traced back to SGYY and it’s various inspirations. He first appears in chapter 60, which tells a somewhat distorted but still recognizable version of Zhang Song’s embassy to Cao Cao and Fa Zheng’s mission to Liu Bei.[26] For the next several chapters, he and Pang Tong employ various plans to capture Yi province, an endeavor in which they are ultimately successful. In the novel, Pang Tong generally takes the senior role.[27]

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the novel glosses over Fa Zheng’s misdeeds while in government. It describes him repaying favors and avenging past slights, though it doesn’t say he had people killed. It also says that he subsequently changed his ways and made amends.[28] That’s the sort of distortion I really hate in this book.  Fa Zheng was a murderer. There is no evidence that he ever regretted it or reformed. But since he’s associated with the heroes of the story his crimes get painted over  and watered down.

Fa Zheng next appears when Liu Bei is making plans to capture Hanzhong. Zhuge LIang sends him to supervise Huang Zhong and together they defeat Xiahou Yuan, earning a huge victory.[29] His subsequent appearances are brief. He is rewarded for his role in taking Hanzhong[30] and convinces LIu Bei to marry Wu Yi’s sister.[31] Strangely, Fa Zheng dies off-screen. Although his passing is later mentioned by Zhuge Liang[32] it doesn’t come up until after the fact.

I’ve already complained about the Yanyi glossing over Fa Zheng’s crimes inventing a redemption arc for him so I don’t need to repeat myself here. Aside from that, his appearance in the novel is actually reasonably accurate. The liberties the novel takes with him are rather small and easy to understand in the context of the story.

Endnotes

1. SGZ 37.2 2. Sānfǔ Juélù Zhù 三辅决录注; SGZ 37.2 3. PSZ; SGZ 37.2 4. SGZ 37.2 5. SGZ 1 6. SGZ 31.2 7. SGZ 31.2 8. SGZ 37.2 9. Yìbù Qíjiù Zhuàn 益部耆旧传; SGZ 31.2 10. SGZ 31.2 11. Yìbù Qíjiù Zhuàn 益部耆旧传; SGZ 31.2 12. SGZ 31.2 13. SGZ 37.2 14. SGZ 31.2 15. SGZ 37.2 16. SGZ 37.2 17. SGZ 37.2 18. SGZ 38.1 19. SGZ 39.5 20. SGZ 38.5 21. PSZ; SGZ 35 22. SGZ 35 23. SGZ 32 24. SGZ 37.2 25. SGZ 37.2 26. SGYY 60 27. SGYY 61–64 28. SGYY 65 29. SGYY 70–71 30. SGYY 73 31. SGYY 77 32. SGYY 81

[noona96n]

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

edit: engsub here

[sourholland]

Some timothee fluff pleass :)) love your work !!

Cake || Timothée Chalamet

Summary → You go live on Instagram and bake a cake. Timothée comes home halfway through and doesn’t realize you’re live-streaming.

AN → This is just pure fluff tbh, a little short but pure fluff

Pairing(s) → Timothée Chalamet x Fem!Reader

Warnings → Strong Language

Word Count → 900

You stepped back, pressing the ‘go live’ button on your Instagram. In the shot behind you was your oven and white countertops, a few plants, and the earthy green cupboards.

Since you had done 73 questions with Vogue, your New York City penthouse apartment had become sort of famous. Everyone had absolutely died over your kitchen, adoring the many plants and bronze pots and pans hanging from the ceiling.

You were dressed in a pair of white flowing pants, overtop of it was a simple black tank top and a grey zip up that belonged to Timothée.

Within the first few seconds, thousands of people had joined the livestream. Comments began to flood in, some of them making you laugh while you leaned in to glance at the phone you’d sat against the counter. There were dozens of remarks just on the atmosphere of your apartment.

It was heavily raining outside, a thick smog covering the city. You had lit candles all throughout your’s and Timothée’s shared space. He didn’t mind the crystals scattered around, resting on windowsills and shelves. He quite often asked for you to read his tarot cards, loving the way you would sit crisscross in front of him on the carpet and explain what everything meant.

userone: im so fucking in love with you

usertwo: where’s timmy????

userthree: make a tiktok pls

You scrolled through comments, laughing at a few, making sure not to dwell on some of the harsher ones. You smiled at the few familiar friends joining the live, exchanging a bit of banter as you grabbed some ingredients out of the fridge.

“Okay—so, as you all know, I’m no chef,” you snorted, holding up the box of cake mix. “All it needs is like eggs, water, and oil—I figured I couldn’t really fuck that up.”

florencepugh: i’m disappointed y/n

oliviarodrigo: you’ll find a way y/n/n

“Flo, I’m sorry,” you whined, drawling out the y.

The soft hum of Fleetwood Mac played in the back, Spotify just barely visible behind you on your laptop. Timothée was out, and you had tried to occupy yourself, finding nothing better to do than bake.

You cracked the eggs into the large plastic bowl, grinning at the phone in the process. You couldn’t help but laugh at the fact that someone would turn these clips into an Instagram edit.

userfour: i love u sm

userfive: how do u look so effortlessly good tf

usersix: i love ur kitchen stoppppppppp

userseven: bi panic

“You guys are hysterical—shit, I think I almost put too much oil in,” you said in a hushed tone.

lydianight: NOT U LITERALLY FUCJING UP CAKE OUT OF A BOX PLEASEEE

odessaazion: ur literally so hot y/n even if u can’t make food for shit

userseven: LMAOO DID SHE EVEN READ THE BOX ???

“You guys have no faith in me,” you said, chuckling as you whisked. “It’s disheartening, really. I’m hurt!”

You jokingly placed a hand on your heart, pretending to cry. You had bits of the packaged cake mix on your cheeks, hair pulled back and out of your face. The pan was greased in front of you, This Town by Niall Horan coming on behind you.

You were so focused on getting the clumps of chocolate powder separated that you hadn’t even heard the jangle of keys at the front door, or the sound of it shutting. You held the bowl up to the camera, nodding that it looked good enough.

You yelped when a pair of hands slid over your hips, pulling them back and making you jump. Timothée turned you around a moment later and cupped the nape of your neck, pulling you in for a quick kiss. He was in a grey hoodie and black joggers, hair skewed about under a navy blue baseball cap and slightly wet.

“If the whole world was watching I’d still dance with you,” he mumbled, spinning you around in a playful dance a moment later.

“Didn’t hear you come in,” you giggled at his swaying motion.

“Yeah? I yelled your name,” he pecked your lips in between each word.

usereight: im gonna go cry now

usernine: tell me ur single without telling me ur single

userten: fuck that’s so cute

usereleven: AND NIALLLL STOP

“I’m on live,” you said, watching him look over at the phone and awkwardly wave.

“Shit, why didn’t you tell me?” He chuckled, dipping a finger into the cake mix before you could swat his hand away.

He sucked on his index finger a moment later, ignoring you as you hit him a few times with the oven mitt at your right. He snatched the wooden spoon not far from him and held it up with a wide grin.

“You sure about that?” He mused, waving it in the air.

usertwelve: when they hit each other with kitchen suppliesssss

userthirteen: i’ll never be over this

“Was the cake mix any good, at least?” You couldn’t help but ask, watching him take off the hat, ruffle his hair a bit and then put it back on.

“I love you—but it tasted like shit,” he barely got out, running as you started to swat him with the mitt again.

userfourteen: god im so alone

[wonwoosthetic]

So i see you liked my last link 🥴 well well well...

https://www.instagram.com/tv/CVkcGsZp4v2/?utm_medium=copy_link

I just really wanna touch his arms 24/7.....

Sincerely, LinkLady🥴

Link (safe, but warning: hot biceps, if you have an arm kink, I'd be careful)

Well Well Well... LinkLady, I think we gotta talk because you're really out to kill me😮‍💨 May I add you to my anon list?🫢🤭

Before I get into it, just a genuine question: HOW TF do you even get those muscles?! Like, I know about triceps muscles, but those gotta be something different, right?! What the hell is this man doing in the gym...

Edit: I just found this in my drafts, I thought I already posted this quite a while ago😫 better late than never, I guess😖 anyways, I love LinkLady👏🏼🤍

It was during the first hard lockdown. Everything was closed - shops, offices, and yes, also the gyms. This wasn’t as much of a problem for you as it was for the man in your shared apartment - Kim Mingyu.

The day the government announced the closing of basically indoor space was like a knife going straight through his heart - and the massive bulk of muscle in front of it.

What this meant for you, was working from home. What it meant for Mingyu, was annoying and teasing you to the max, his favourite activity.

He knew how captivated you sometimes got with his body, of course he did. Whether it was during the nighttime, you snuggled up against him or while on top of him, your fingernails digging into his chest, he knew your weak spot and that was his body. More specifically, his arms. He didn’t really understand why or what mesmerised you so much about them but something about those heavy lifters just did it to you. He may or may not had found that out after one of your night outs with your girlfriends, when you came back home, tumbling into the living room where he had to catch you before your body hit the floor and you just started rambling about how much you loved those arms that kept you close to him.

Ever since then, he knew just what to do.

Now, back to the time you had to spend with him in the enclosed shared space.

You could easily do your job from work, which was no problem for you. You had gotten comfortable at the dining table that was placed in the living room, right next to the kitchen, thanks to your open floor plan, and had been sitting there for a good four hours straight. Your neck had already started to get stiffer and you were dreading to take a break, but also wanted to finish everything quickly, so you could enjoy the rest of the day more freely.

Mingyu didn’t have that much of a great time during the lockdown. Man was shaking. He hadn’t been able to release the energy that had been building up inside of his body like he usually had been able to - at the gym. Now that it was closed, he had to find another way to do that. Sex was one option, but with the amount of rounds that Mingyu could go at, you weren’t able to keep up with him as much and you were still trying to keep somewhat of a normal routine that didn’t include 4 hour long sex in the morning, but rather waking up, having breakfast, getting to work, and then calling it a day while lounging on the couch. That was your idea of a good daily routine, but not Mingyu’s.

This man was out to try everything possible to get you back to bed with him. Everything.

Right after you woke up, kissing your neck up and down, tracing his fingers down your stomach to the hem of your panties, didn’t work. You got up after giving him one last peck and started your day. While you were making breakfast, he sneaked up behind you, his arms engulfing you and keeping you close to his big frame. But no, you again, kissed him and got to the dining table to eat.

So, he let you. He let you do whatever you had to do and tried to get this bundle of energy out somewhere else.

Only a few months prior to that, Mingyu invested in some gym equipment for at home. Nothing too fancy, just a few weights, a multi station and a bench. Thankfully, you had a spare room where he could set it all up. But not that day. No. He didn’t forget his mission and he was out for it.

While you were still sitting at the table, eyes glued to the computer screen in front of you, Mingyu took some of the heavier weights and brought them into the living room, right in front of you. Out of the corner of your eyes, you saw him coming in, but weren’t too bothered as to what he was doing, not thinking much of it.

That was until you heard the grunting. The deep breaths in and the random voice coming from the TV he had put on. You lifted your head and found the reason for the noises. With the coffee table pushed to the side, Mingyu had more than enough space to go after his hobby.

You tried to ignore the distracting sounds as good as possible, but Jesus was it hard. You rolled your eyes,

“Mingyu?” Sighing out loud to let him know what you actually meant with your question, “What the hell are you doing?”

Your boyfriend looked up, his puppy eyes looking right at you as he didn’t even care to put the weights down, but just continued his work out, “Working out. What do you think I’m doing?” Making it sound like your question was ridiculous when he was the one who never used the living space for this activity.

“I don’t know but why do you have to do it here? You have a gym in this house.” Sounding frustrated. That’s exactly where he wanted to get you.

“But that room doesn’t have a TV. This one here does,” he simply stated and continued to lift the weights in his hands, grunting with every lift.

Your sigh made him smirk. He never uses a TV to work out. He usually kept his AirPods in and listens to music, so he knew the excuse wasn’t a good one, but it riled you up and that was his plan.

The grunts continued and you couldn’t help but to let your focus drift from the Word-document on the screen, to the man standing only a few feet in front of you. He had his back turned to you, and his triceps muscles popped out with with every movement he made, making you gulp.

One shake of your head and you were back to typing on your keyboard. The small pause didn’t go unnoticed by Mingyu and made him grin. You were getting there, he knew it. He just had to add a lil’ something. He continued with his arm workout for a good three minutes, continuing his groans and moans, as if the weights were oh so heavy for him. More than you’d like to admit, you did look up to catch a few glimpses and what was going on in front of you. That was until…

This man decided it was too hot in the room and took his shirt off. The shirt that already was short sleeved…

You loved Mingyu. You really did. And you didn’t mean to brush him off in the morning, just like that. But the two of you had different responsibilities when it comes to work and yours, right now, was to finish up that document and sent it off to your boss, which Mingyu… didn’t really like. Of course, if it was for you to decide on what to do, you obviously would’ve stayed in bed with him, letting him have you in every way he wanted to, but you were also a full grown adult who still needed to do their job, which was getting harder and harder with every passing minute that this man decided to spend in front of you, shirt of, arms out for everyone to see, flexing them with every move while grunts and moans filled the room.

“Mingyu!” You couldn’t cold yourself back anymore and whined out loud, “Please, for the love of God, go to the other room. I’m begging you.” With your head thrown back, your boyfriend chuckled at your reaction as he turned to the side to look at you.

“Why?” He smirked, “Am I distracting you?” You lowered your head again, finding his gaze, and more importantly his smirk, quickly. You knew what he was doing. That freaking smirk of his just confirmed it.

No. Not like that. This man was getting too cocky of himself.

“I’m trying to focus here and do actual work and you are not helping with that right now.” You just spat back, crossing your arms while keeping your state at him. Your eyes were begging you to just move a few inches down. Just a few. Maybe he wouldn’t even notice. No, he definitely would. Don’t you even dare. No. NO, DON’T. DON’T DO IT. YOU’RE STRONGER THAN THAT. DON’T!

And then you did. Full on change of view as your eyes drifted down his torso, lingering on his rock hard abs and his arms a little too long. As soon as your gazes met again, Mingyu chuckled.

“So I am distracting you.” Making it sound more like a statement then a question because he knew, he was right. He put the weights down on the floor and made his way around the couch to get to you at the dining table. His slow struts felt even slower to you as you took a deep breath and put your focus back to the screen.

“I’m working,” you told him once he was right next to you, one of his hands already pushing your hair to one side, revealing the side of your neck.

“That wasn’t an answer to my question, darling.” He smirked, stepping behind you to place both of his palms on each one of your shoulders, his thumbs starting to massage the sore spots of your shoulders and back, leaving you no choice but to let a heavy sigh fall from your lips. “Was I distracting you that much?” Mingyu leaned down to whisper into your ear, teasing you with his hands and voice.

You shook your head gently, “You try concentrating when somebody’s grunting and moaning right in front you.” Making him grin. Right then, he hit the one spot you would always complain about after a long day at work, making you moan deeply.

“Babe, you’re already distracting just by looking at me,” he smiled to himself, “And I do have to admit, having someone moan like you right now is very distracting indeed too.” Clearly more than proud of his actions.

You wanted to give him one of your smart-ass answers, but the magic his hands were doing to you was too much for you to even keep your mind straight. The only thing you could let out, was a quick, “You’re annoying.”

To which he proudly answered, leaning into you once again, “I sure am.” Moving his right hand up to cuff your jaw and move it to the side, to get access to your lips. You didn’t try to move back or stop him, but leaned into kiss, grasping his wrist and held on tight to it.

The one hand that was still on your shoulder found its way to your neck, pulling you in closer by it. You moaned into your boyfriend’s mouth, making him smirk. He crouch down slightly, his arms snaking around your waist, letting you quickly know what he wanted as your wrapped your legs around his torso, letting him pull you up and carry you towards the bedroom.

He did it once again…

Can you tell I LOVE teasing?! Fucking hell, I’m a sucker for this AND KIM MINGYU

[tottymatsuno]

Can you please rank them from worst to best house husband? I need this list for reasons…

You... I just turnt anon on my beloved. Ilu tho bc I'm about to learn ya a thing or two. I'm gonna use some slight gendered language sorry edit I misread and did it best to worst whoops

1matsu. Ichimatsu is a domesticated cat, he thrives in a clean environment and will take the initiative to make it clean himself. In episodes that involve a Matsuno trying to make their living situation more hospitable for all of them it is Ichimatsu who takes the lead. He will cook, clean and cuddle you bc he knows you've worked hard. He will bitch at you, he will nag at you and he will cuss u tf out if you purposefully make a mess or do not appreciate his hard work but he's also really chill and good at reading the mood so he would be an excellent person to vent to! Ichimatsu would get to know your neighbors for you because he knows you're too busy sometimes but would like to stay in the loop. Very considerate partner, definitely will buy you snacks and would be mindful of the budget. Romance wise it'd be awkward initially when you move in together but would quickly settle into a veey quiet and passionate life long romance. Lots of quietly doing your own things while lying on the others lap. Lots of kisses that he would get embarrassed by and run away even tho he kissed you. Yall have been married for five years and he still can't look you in the eyes after making out. 8/10 great husband. 2 points docked bc you'll have to live a life smelling like sardines and he does shit in a litterbox sometimes.

Osomatsu imo is 2. Now don't shoot me for saying this but Osomatsu is someone who is adversed to growing up so it would take more of an emotional bribe for him to actually change but once he does and realizes that he's still young, he can still see his brothers everyday, that the affection of having his own smaller family that loves him despite his flaws... I think that'd inspire him to want to be a better person for them. He realistically would be someone you needed to baby at first, someone you'd get mad at often bc holy shit Osomatsu!! You just cleaned that! But I think when push came to shove a few things would set in after he tested the waters to see if you'd leave him. If you got sick or god forbid pregnant Osomatsu would look around and think "ah. I'm being a burden. How can I help right now?" and it'd start with him cleaning up. When you thank Osomatsu earnestly he has a bit of an identity crisis, is he still piece of shit Osomatsu? Is it okay?? And then he'd clean more and more everyday. He'd taper off of drinking so much and oh god Osomatsu just opened a savings account... He's not gambling but is instead trying to actually manage the household like an adult should! Responsible Osomatsu finally acting proper because he loves you so much and you're the best thing that ever happened to him. Why would Osomatsu want to stay a piece of shit forever when he has someone to inspire him to be a good husband? In terms of romance I think it'd initially start off making you feel like you're in middle school again bc of how juvenile it'd be. But in a good way! Everything would feel so new and the butterflies would never end bc we saw how happy Osomatsus wife was in the 1st ep of s2. 7/10 because you will lose hundreds of thousands of yen investing in his hobosexual ass before he gives u something better than mediocre head.

My personal fave and wife Totty! Todomatsu is someone who wants to be loved, cherished and wanted. He wants to love and most importantly be loved wholly in return. The issues are though that he's lazy and inconsiderate and will try to manipulate you into spoiling him. Like that scene with him using Matsuyo's expensive toner and then telling her she ran out. Todomatsu will see you work a full time work week and ask you to massage his shoulders bc his part time job was that hard! Now his good points are he wouldn't be a fulltime househusband like the others, he would actually have a job. To lord over you and make you feel sorry for your poor sweet Totty. But if Todomatsu saw you were legitimately having a tough day he would cook a nice meal or if he were too tired would let you pick take out. Watching comedy shows with him would be fun, and Totty would be the first to ask for a pet! "Let's pretend its a trial run for our baby!" either as a joke or srs depending on ur preference for children. Todomatsu would buy you spontaneous gifts always with your preference and tastes in mind. He's not the best at being emotionally honest and Todomatsu will try to hurt your feelings if his were slighted first. A real tic for tat kinda guy but Totty would be the first to want to hold you and help in any way he can. He wants you to love and praise him forever so Todomatsu generally tries to stay on your good side. He can't clean though and Todomatsu has only learned a few dishes from his mother but in terms of life partners he's a good one. 6/10 bc he's petty and rude and the type to point out you ate his leftovers like 8 yrs back when losing an argument.

Karamatsu would try! Oh god would he try!! He starts off with this expectation that because Karamatsu loves you more than anything and even himself that it would easy to serve you like he was offering his very soul at the alter. But those delusions of grandeur would fall short of both of your expectations. It'd be cute at first! Karamatsu would looove if you depended on him! But the thing is that if he had nothing else to do but keep things clean, grocery shop and run household errands he'd go crazy! Karamatsu would start inventing reasons to go on journeys or at the very least would miss you too much and would insist on dropping you off and picking you up from work. Yall would need to get a dog but Karamatsu would be too shy to ask for another companion when he already has you as his eternal life partner! Dude would get bored tho lol and start getting uppity. You'd need to reel him in w affection and spoiling him too just as much. Karamatsu doesn't need a normal spouse, a lowkey one would be great but in reality he needs someone just as fucking insane as he is. Really needs a hype man bc he's gonna hype you tf up and if you cant match his energy he's gonna start ripping your carpet out bc he needs enrichment. Being in love with Karamatsu would be fairytale sweet but it would take him some time to actually adjust and start buying you gifts you actually like and not pulling moves and lines from cliche movies. 4.8/10 bc it might get grating after a while and also he's very accident prone so you can stand replacing so many walls and doors. Also he needs lots of attention.

Jyushimatsu is probably in a tier of his own which is: If you like it I love it. Jyushimatsu is very energetic, the smiles and laughter wouldn't end! But when he's in love he calms down considerably and can be serious enough. It's very sweet seeing how earnest he is and how relaxing Jyushimatsu finds your presence. Mornings are animated, evenings are softer and it's so easy to relax with him until you remember Jyushi embodies the comedy rules of funny. Things will get resolved with a punchline whether you like it or not, things will change and since the boy can alter reality it'd be a lot going on at once. Lots of kissing and handholding and ppl probably think it's very innocent and go "aww, how cute" but Jyushimatsu is probably knocking your boots clear off on the reg. You'll probably be fine cuz him love you but yeah you're gonna need to be dynamic to keep yourself from going crazy. Ya house ain't too messy and you do have to teach him how to clean but he's eager to help you and he does spends some of your money on candy and toys and the conversation you have to have with Jyushimatsu when you see his bank account is gonna be a mess. -10/10 for withholding martial assests. 1000/10 for ultimate Jyushimatsu experience.

Choromatsu is my least favorite since the movie and if u were looking forward to him ig I can go thru it but I'm not gonna be very kind. He pretends to do ur taxes but doesn't file them or know how to actually do it. He gets an inflated ego when you start dating and doesn't stop bragging about how lucky you are. Real incel vibes but you love it. He can be sweet sometimes but those times are a bit rare since he's spending your money on idol and anime merch. Choromatsu would at least probably give good head ig so maybe there's that to look forward to. He'd be cute during the courting stage of the relationship but would grow much too complacent during the actual marriage. Choromatsu promised his mama he'd have kids first so there's that element of pressure. After a while you hear him tell you "we're already married so what's the point pretending to be all lovey dovey still?" even though he's still in love with you. He's more caught up in the perception of himself rather than being super good at being a husband. Yall apartment isn't a mess by a long shot but only a few days out of the week is it truly clean. You can't motivate him because even though he doesn't have a job he's married anyways. There's good times and bad times but ultimately it's just a bit bland. He can be funny though so you stay. 2/10 don't look at his porn stash though.