#me when i fucking SCAN you
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#i had to do this none of the ones i have seen have been weird enough for me#honestly the first is the best he just fucking MANIFESTED on the back of the seat next to me#and when i turned around to scan the theater behind us i grabbed at the neighboring seat for leverage#and it was his got damned ankle#we made eye contact for two seconds before a giant spotlight shone on us#i would think it was cool now but I was only 10 and wanted to D I E#i swear to god i felt NOTHING when he landed his rigging or whatever must have been AMAZING#most humiliating moment of my life to that point though#you accidentally grab a childhood celebrity crush's ankle during a live performance and he looks into your eyes#then the whole theater is looking at you#oh my god it was horrendous#i hope he remembers it
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I hate my job, man. I’ve told my boss so many times “can we please switch everyone over to printed forms instead of handwriting” and she waves me off saying she’ll talk to them about it. She never has.
no one listens.
What does this say? mulan? mulah? mulaw?
Nope, it’s mularo.
ok. Now the patients results have been delayed cause we couldn’t read the damn name.
guess what, we couldn’t read the insurance ID either so it’s delayed even more.
I requested that they clarify the name and insurance ID. They only sent the name. They’re closed on Fridays.
You have delayed the results a whole 4 days, congrats.
Then they complain to us that the results are delayed. Amazing.
I wonder why.
#it just. pisses me off so much that I have to call this stupid office multiple times a week#because they refuse to write things properly#and have the same person writing everything#JUST FUCKING PRINT IT OUT OR SCAN THE INSURANCE CARD#stop getting annoyed that we have to call you and fix the damn problem that you caused :|#and then they spam call us daily asking if the results are ready#I genuinely don’t know how these small clinics stay open when they don’t even check if the patients insurance is active beforehand#actually the most annoying part#is that when I call the front desk acts suspicious as if it hasn’t been me. the same person. calling multiple times a week.#from the same number which you could look up and find our office.#so the point is- the front desk will never give me any information. even if I’m just asking to clarify a date of birth or somethin simple#I have to wait till the nurse is available#to answer my damn question#it’s 9 am it’s too early for this.#edit: why are ppl reblogging this#nuh uh
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hmm! super duper interesting how OCD is actually not super heritable, that its pretty directly tied to stressful events, the environment in which you're raised, and just a general feeling of loss of control at a young age. super duper interesting how its closely linked with impulse control disorders, anxiety disorders, and particularly avoidant behaviour as a means of harm reduction. really makes dick's sisyphean dedication to tearing his life apart brick by brick and isolating himself from everyone around him make a tonne of sense
#hes just so consistently like this the way he gets caught in these cycles#not even necessarily 'they would be better off without me' though thats there#but ocd can come with a heap of hypervigilance#and always being prepared and thinking of every single locus#and its just so fucking exhausting#to not just be in a room with a group of people#but scanning to see every possible outcome of every possible interaction in that room#like how could that not take a toll#but also how could you be in a team situation and NOT lead#because no one else is thinking 12d chess the way you are#so yeah bruce probably noticed the obsessive behaviour but didnt see it as a problem#until the impulse control and the oppositional defiance started#probably right around the age of 18 when he would have been getting really frayed and burnt out#hmmmmm#i have ocd
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what is it about being a customer that makes people lose the ability to use their heads
#self scan is where the brave are separated from the foolish#Guy needed a basket so what he does is ignore the stack of baskets just down the aisle#& take everything out of a full basket of stuff that needs to be reshelved and puts it all on the ground.#Okay. Fucking thank you#& Somebody abandoned their checkout with a billion things scanned and it wasn’t letting me suspend the whole thing#so i had to cancel every individual item#and of course i can’t just stand around doing that so i was doing it when i had a chance#so the till is opened up to show ppl it’s out of service#& i turn my back what happens.#Some fucking shit for brains goes scanning all his shit with the till clearly out of service#giving me more shit to cancel#And to make matters worse i saw my creepy ex coworker.#And of course he had a billion problems with his checkout so i couldn’t avoid him#Ifs always the four hour shifts that are the hardest…
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i am very grateful that im not someone that has to deal with daily seizures but it is evil when it takes like a week and a half's worth of business days to recover from a seizure
#if i had them everyday or every other day i would be so fucked 😭#id like to say they dont bother me per se but the entire week after is laying in bed after 11 pm and wondering if jts going to happen again#bc my head feels like its about to explode#and then do not get me started on the fear of getting in the shower within the first few days of one happening .#reasonably i understand that my seizures happen from 11pm to maybe 3 am on average .#but ill have a seizure and then have to hype myself up for like 2 hours just to take one 3 days later st like 2 pm#my seizures do not interfere with my day to day life in extreme ways but existing knowing that i have them during a certain time frame is#like. Hey man can you grow up#also it is really funny being told theyre probably hormonal or stress related and should 'probably stop' as i get into my mid 20s .#Well im turning 25 next month and evidently i still have seizure activity in me#also also heres a fun fact: my epilepsy does not have an actual named diagnosis they just said i certainly have a Form of it ❤️#they dont know what causes them and i have no real warning signs (bc a headache =/= potential seizure)#they dont bother me but i do have to live with the knowledge that i could have one any day now and wake up to my mom asking me questions#hope everyone can tell i have a lot of feelings about my epilepsy despite not talking about it like ever ❤️#the only thing that really bothers me is the no warning signs. ive been perfectly fine and had them. ive had massive migraines when i was#unmedicated and didnt have one. very bizarre#and ofc all my brain scans come back normal all the time so they dgaf Lol
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I must hem and haw over the volume levels in the mix for the next few weeks even though its basically done SO in the meantime have this doodle:
original song Mesmerizer by 32ki (major warning for flashing for the music video), UST by アトリ科ヒワ属のゲン!
#vocal synth wip#synthv#genbu#utau#gao#also my art is here LOL#art#traditional art#watercolour#fanart#you KNOW i started this the second someone dropped an ust <3 this is what i was thinking about when i was talking about vsynth headcanons#how i hc some know theyre synths and some dont. genbu knows. i think he thinks of gao like a spiritual brother who shares a voice provider#and i think gao is living a wonderfully peaceful life making garage rock with his boyfriend EXCEPT there is this weird fucking guy around#who is very nice but is like some kind of uncanny valley presence with an oddly familiar voice. friendly guy with an uncomfortable aura#to me genbu is gao's silent hill monster. his sleep paralysis demon.#so i hope you understand the dynamic im going for with this cover LOL#i tried to make genbu sound a little unhinged in the latter half because of the. hypnosis. i hope it scans#i also tried to make gao sound. nervous LOL but im still learning how to use openutau#so i might go in and alter some of his parts later~ but im still proud of this silly cover
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👕 & 🍽️? For the trek ask game
Heheh thanks for Asking Meg!!! All aboard another long winded ramble about my wife ST: Voyager!!!!!
👕 Character whose fashion you like.
While I answered in the last one, I think I'll add to it by saying I love the Ds9/Voyager Uniforms--Infact I'm a HUGE sucker for them--At least to me, they feel like THE signature trek costume rather than TNG or TOS ones. Plus, they are fun to draw! I love how they look on the actors with the structured upper half, and loose, high-waisted pants that give everyone the illusion of height.
Those that are dressed in the uniform are portrayed with a respectable heft and a pleasant, overall shape. I know it's not the case, but they look like they are really practical. This is fully intentional as the lead costume designer said they wanted the suits to appear modular and have advantages in different environments. That's why sometimes they are unzipped or twisted around, depending on the narrative.
I could go on and on about them. I act feral over how they look when when all the actors stand together, turned in various ways, posing so that that folds pucker on their joints, or when subtle differences in their body sizes take up screen. It just looks so cool! I'm a big fan of squad-based, colour-coded uniforms and clean silhouettes.
Most importantly though, it gives them all BODY-ODY-ODY!!!
youtube
AYO WHICH LOCATION THEY AT??? CW: GORILLA DUMPIES!!! 👀👀👀 😳😳😳😳
🍽️What alien food/drink would you want to try?
I wish I could find the video but I've seen bits and pieces about how they designed the food on the sets and I think it's super charming!
Lots of effort went into considering the cuisine. It just about decorates every set and It was important to the show. Voyager engaged in a lot visual gags, or dialog discussing food. It was in a comforting way that would present the characters with their personal ideals of home.I find that subtext of world-building really endearing.
Many scenes involved characters bonding in the mess hall, socializing around food, or isolating with it to gain a sense of self. In contrast, it's used as a device for diplomacy, or to make settings seem more alien, unnavigated and removed from regular comforts. It's even incorporated into main plot points, such as with Tuvok in ''Riddles'', when he gains a newfound skill around cooking after a serious accident, and he solves the plot by decorating a code on a cake. Through food, we saw a lot of what it could be like to be a crew member on the ship, and live inside their Universe. It wasn't always pretty but they made it work.
We have a really rich food bowl and diverse food-culture In Australia, I love noticing exotic food that are used as set decoration of as props--I am used to seeing tropical fruit or Asian ingredients around my community, so it's fun to see it transformed. And much like the characters in Voyager, I relate to the comfort and the charting of new territories when it comes to seeing/ eating food.
I suspect being a chef / working in hospitality would be an interesting occupation in Trek. Everyone complains about the lack of authenticity from replicated food, so I'm sure being a good Chef would be worth your while.
I genuinely want to try Old-mate Neelix's cooking. He seems so creative and passionate about what he plates up, and he CLEARLY (they all put on weight haha) kept the crew well-fed. ''Bitches make do'', but you can tell he cares by the questions he askes everyone, or the detail he places into his recipes. I'd like to see what all the fuss is about with Leeola Root Stew. I bet it's not that bad! (I like bitter food) Or better, serve me up a Jimbalian Fudge cake! It's so quaint how there is an evolution to his work as he gets more integrated with everyone.
(crying over this ^) Neelix Nation Rise Up!!!!
#SOBBING I LOVE STARTREK VOYAGER SO MUCH!!!!!!#thankyou if you read my thoughts again lmao the other one is popping off hahaha#i did not proof read this at all so sorry if it's a fucking mess (not much unlike my other textposts lolololol)#now i just want to redraw frames of the body music video with the command crew lmao#i think about this stuff & how it's so underrated in the way that the the REAL subtext behind the characters is right there but y'all slee#instead people are busy infighting or making up stuff little truth behind it when it's actually alot of sincere material is available#dont mind me being a FREAK over their visual language and body dimensions idk#i fucking love just SCANNING the frames and being like YUM A CURVE ON THEIR ARM or a WOW THE SHAPE OF THEIR WAIST#TY MEGGG I HOPE THIS ISNT A BAD RESPONSE IM SO BAD AT PROSE LMAO#neelix#kathryn janeway#chakotay#tuvok#star trek voyager#startrek voyager#st voyager#SORRY ANOTHER BIG TEXT POST#theartmeg
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Fake coffee started hurting my head as well... i'm starting to think i have some sorta neurological disorder❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
#wheres that post thats like. i hope they find a mysterious disease and everyone will come around to me and be like. wowwwww#you were so brave living with the disease all this time!!!!!#i shouldve done the fucking brain scan omg i still have the. the.#skierowanie.#but i went to a private neurologist bc it was the quickest option so id have to pay a shitton for the brain scan there as well. i didnt want#to.#and back then my headaches were purely stress driven it did make the most sense#at some point. when you make an effort to eat well and exercise#and you still feel like fainting out there in the wild#or in the mornings when you just woke up. wtf do we do now#my bloodwork is perfect as well#it is ALL in my head once again🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣...
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Some expression practice from the other day!
[ID: Several colored shoulders up drawings of different mcyts with colored squares behind them. Drawing one is RNjoy looking to the right smiling, pleasantly and excitedly surprised. Drawing two is AvidMC looking tight lipped down to the left with raised eyebrows. Drawing three is TaneeshaHogan with her head tilted looking back to the right, winking with a open mouth smile. Drawing four is Vikingpilot looking smugly content. The final drawing is a side view of RNjoy looking down with a soft smile. End ID.]
#mcyt#rnjoy#avidmc#taneeshahogan#vikingpilot#k draws art#oh yeah viking got stickynoted cause i wasnt paying attention when i grabbed a skin color marker and accidentally grabbed-#-Bright Fucking Orange#didnt realize till it hit the paper. so he's secretly incredibly sunburnt dont worry about it#speaking of my phone fucking nerfs light skin tones and i hate it so much. they all look like the same color#theyre not! you can tell the diffrences in real life! my phone just like. idek man#the one thing that makes me consider printer scanning#dominion smp
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Anxiety is cancelled from now on. I’ve had too much of it today
#this week has been rediculous for me being anxious for DUMB SHIT REASONS BRIAN#today i stg he was just trying to fuck with me#had an anxious like. four hours during work. then after work played some good Minecraft#and listened to Tanis and then I went. hmm I’ll be an adult#and then halfway thru going out I went fuck it. fun. we go to cafe#so I go to my usual haunt. do some writing. only mildly fuck up ordering the drink I get. everytime.#I have a good time#mild dumb brain action nothing out of the norm#hell he was fine when I had to stand there while the cashier at the grocery store tried to scan an item that wouldn’t scan#but. then. Brian decided I’d been lulled into enough of a false sense of security#and makes me think I lost my keys.#and just as I find them. I no longer need them#fuck you brian#I knew EXACTLY where I’d put my keys#but my brain went nah. they’re not there. and therefore made me go thru my ENTIRE bag#you’d think having a whole ass plush on my keys would make it easier to find#but apparently not#anyways at least I can watch another ep of Jack Ryan tonight#it’s the Little things
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acab includes security guards. fuck them hoes
#how many fucking times are these useless chodes gonna stand around and get mad at me for asking them to do their job#sorry i forgot their job is to stand around distracting the cashiers chit chatting for hours and get paid 3x as much as me#while i scan bag field complaints run breaks and clean#heaven fucking forbid you ask for some assistance when a customer gets in your face and threatens to hurt you#ur on ur fucking own i guess
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Bloodline of the Sacred Dragons - Chapter 3-10 & 3-11
[Warning for a lot of sexism and male friends deceiving women for condescending reasons. Yeah. Sorry we come back off hiatus for this. It's part of the reason there was an hiatus to begin with.]
Three days later, the ship prepared by Arthur awaited patiently for Bleu's group to board it.
"It looks really small, for a ship meant to cross between continents," Karin mumbled as she looked at the vessel in front of her.
"It's the one Arthur's team picked. There's nothing wrong about it." Bleu paused before continuing. "Well then, I'm going to give the governor my farewells, so you and Karna go ahead and board. Tyrin and the others should be coming soon. After all, if you're early you get to pick the best rooms."
Bleu pushed them inside, and then hurried off. His behavior wasn't convincing. But, Karin couldn't realize right away what was off.
"Let's go, Karna."
Calling out to the girl, she headed to the ship she was pointed to.
"Alright," Karna answered happily, and boarded after Karin. In the end, she had hardened her resolve to cross to Parmecia with the group. Her feelings against leaving them were stronger right now than her wish to seek out Gong and become his disciple.
And thus, the ship departed with the two onboard.
Only once the sun had gone down did Camallia managed to yell at Bleu for it.
She had been told that they would only depart the next day, and had realized that the two girls were missing.
Bleu was in the same room as Tyrin.
"Was it you who planned to deceive them like this? Or did Tyrin put it in your head?"
Her breathing was ragged with fury.
"I had no choice. I knew that there was no way they'd stay quietly in Rune. Even so, I don't want to bring them to Parmecia."
Camallia could understand the reason, but couldn't stand the method.
"You look down on them. Besides, would those two even give up just from something like this?"
"It's fine. Even if they turn around after reaching Waral, we'll have already departed to Parmecia by then," Tyrin answered, putting on the airs of a strategist.
Camallia glared at him, telling him that such assessment also underestimated them.
"Then, why are you taking Tyrin and Randolf along?" She asked Bleu. Since he struggled to answer, Tyrin opened his mouth in his place.
"I am still under orders from Master Otrant. Randolf has his own ambitions. Men look for adventure, after all. It's a burning fire only we understand. And keeping delicate ladies away from danger is a men's duty as well."
"Self serving excuses. Such an egotistical way of protecting does not really protect people."
Having said that, she gave up and left her seat.
Bleu knew very well that it hadn't been a respectable way of dealing with things. He had prepared himself for the scolding when he went with Tyrin's idea. How much did his honor even matter compared to Karin's safety?
As he swallowed down the bitter taste of the confrontation, Camallia wandered aimlessly through the harbor. Perhaps that was her way to keep her own negative feelings at bay too. Or, perhaps her flushed cheeks yearned for some fresh air…
Were those the reasons? In reality, she was carrying out a happy secret reunion in that harbor.
***11***
The following day, Bleu took the ship and departed from Uranbatol.
Besides the ship crew chosen by Earnest and Arthur, there were only Tyrin, Randolf, and Camallia with him. It was too late to let go of the two men. Both of them and the ship would be sticking around until the end, it seemed.
While the crew was full of vigor and hard at work, the absence of those bright and boisterous girls cast of a shadow over the voyage. Bleu didn't know if he could call that lonely or what.
"If you miss them, there is still time to go meet them," Camallia suggested, seeing through him.
"No, this was my decision."
"Indeed, your decision, not their decision, nor something they have agreed with."
Bleu asked what did she mean, but she promptly ignored him and moved away.
He would only learn what she meant once quite some time had already passed since their departure.
As Karin and Karna appeared in front of him, he doubted his own eyes. Tyrin and Randolf had their mouths agape in the same way. Only Camallia had a knowing smile on her face.
"Stowaways, sir," the ship captain told Bleu. They had been hiding in the boats at the deck.
"You… If you came then…" Bleu's shoulders trembled. "Camallia, you're an accomplice, aren't you?"
He turned to shout at her, while she kept a cool face.
"They braved danger by their own choice to escape their ship in the middle of sea and come back, what reason did I have to deny a request from them? I did what I had to, and guided them in secret."
Bleu stared at her with hate on his eyes as she boldly declared that. But Camallia wasn't one to be shaken by something like that.
"Do we have to go back now…?"
He whispered, and everyone rejected the idea.
"Even you two," he looked at Tyrin and Randolf, who had not reacted as he expected. Tyrin explained that if they came back, the same thing would just happen again.
"I surrender completely. Shouldn't you, sir, know better than anyone else that the result will always be this?"
Bleu couldn't answer that. If he did he'd have to agree.
"Then, at least Karna…"
"Why are you singling me out?" She was unusually stern as she stared him down. "How many times do I have to say it, it is a priest's duty to help those in need and be good. I won't be as virtuous if I abandon Sir Bleu here."
"Then, what about your goal of finding Gong?"
"Once this adventure is over, rumors should spread about a priest that traveled with a Sacred Dragon, and that will be me, of course. I'm sure they'll reach Master's ears. When that happens, maybe he'll come see me. At the very least, he should realize that I've been training seriously."
Karna stubbornly believed that.
"What should we do, do we turn back?" The captain asked with a troubled face.
Bleu had to give an answer.
"Continue on like this. To the north. Our destination is Parmecia."
Bleu told the captain like he was choking at the words.
The girls cheered. Someone's stomach suddenly growled over their voices. Karna's face became bright red. Thinking now, the reason the two had been found in the boats was because of that noise.
"Well, well, if hardtack is fine by you, shall we eat?"
Karna agreed immediately and went after him. The others followed suit.
Only Bleu and Karin remained in the room.
"I'm sorry."
She apologized earnestly without delay. With his plan beaten, Bleu mellowed out.
"Good grief, you're impossible. Always causing me trouble. I told you that you couldn't come along," he tried to explain gently.
"…Are you angry?"
"I'd be lying if I said I'm not."
At that blunt answer, Karin lowered her head.
"Why can't I come? Am I that much of a burden to you?"
"That's not it. I never said that. I'm just, worried. I don't want you to face danger, or sadness."
"Why do you think that I won't be sad if you leave me? Why do you think you won't be able of doing a single thing against the dangers that might come?"
"I don't trust myself to protect you."
Without thinking, Bleu let out his true feelings.
"So I really am a burden."
"I told you it's not like that."
"Then, try and protect me. Not your pride, but actually me. You are capable. If not, you'll stay forever the baby dragon who cried in our arms. Say, don't you need my help?"
Bleu struggled to answer for a moment.
"You're not a burden to me. But, I don't think I'll ever rely on you like that again. Children get to be just children, no matter their race, but now I'm Bleu, the Sacred Dragon." He paused. "Now, let's go join the others. For now, I won't try to drive you away anymore. I'm lucky you're being as nonchalant as Karna about this."
He took Karin's hand, and they left the room together.
Translation notes:
If the content warning didn't make it clear already I kinda hate these parts. Part of why I took an hiatus from this translation was because I wanted to write a sort of rant/midpoint review of the novel to discuss this, but the more I think about it, the more I feel I need a couple more parts first before I can fully make my point on why this one is bad. So if you disliked it too, just wait and soon we'll all get to be mad about it together.
#we live! sorry that it's for... this though#shining series#shining force#shining force 2#shining force novel translation#bloodline of the sacred dragons#sfbotsd camallia#the only one that kinda saves all of this (besides karna but you know me with karna)#(also karna deserved a lot more here)#(honestly just picture me holding off a billion rants about karna for the past months. there's so much to pick out here)#(you cannot understand my suffering)#sf2 karna twiggy#sf bleu#you garbage. i had hope for you#sf2 tyrin piper#my expectations for you on the other hand were low but Holy Fuck#sf2 randolf dongo#sf karin#the wild thing is that through this hiatus i read the scanned volume of sfneo's manga#and the couple there has basically the same conflict (not that original a conflict for m/f couples of course)#even on a ship#and it is solved so much quicker and better#hopefully i'm not jinxing volume 2 when the scans drop#but then again sfneo the game is worse in the misogyny in some ways so again#the expectations are low! i'm taking what i can get!
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heheheheh :3 (that’s his tongue out and then chewing on his hand)
#the bean#these are from like November but i finally FINALLY found someplace i could scan them today#god bless taxes and the fucking library#it was v cool. could see his hands and individual little fingers and toes and all. VERY freaky as well. but cool#he was super active. moving and grooving.#way different from 7 weeks when he was just a sea monkey. i mean i got to watch him eat his hand#we also knew he was a boy from the NIPT test but even tho he was only… 13 weeks in this?#the ultrasound tech was like oh yeah that’s a boy and flashed his hog. early developing hog i guess#technically making me the only one in the house with a full set#bc satchel doesn’t has his balls and Gilgamesh doesn’t have a foreskin. a fun Rama family fact for you#oh and the tech was impressed w how much pee i could hold. i asked her ‘do i have the biggest bladder you’ve ever seen’#and she paused and said. nobody has ever asked me that before.#and never answered :(
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Doc: so your records haven't transferred yet, it's not a big deal. Can you give me a rundown?
Me: rattles off timeline (roughly)
Doc: okay. So i guess my concern is why they told you to wait this long to follow up, usually they want the ultrasound much earlier
Me: i mean i told them after surgery that i had this appt prescheduled with you and they said that would be fine
Doc: ...what surgery? Wait they gave you 2 rounds of medicine and still took you for surgery?
Doc: do you have any access to your labs, at least?
Me: i have the blood results yeah, here
Doc: ...well this doesn't entirely make- *visibly does some brief math and timeline comparisons* - ...ah. okay. I really need to get on them to transfer those records. Anyway!
#i wish the patient portal on the other hospital didn't suck so badly#like i have no access to any of the scans or anything#i wanna knooow#me then 'my timeline is kinda fucky right now but it's whatever'#me now 'wait but what mg did i get. when did i get that? what did they do there?'#one of the nurses at work was like 'do you have a new foundation? no you are just pale as shit- you good?'#and i showed her my hgb and she was like 'why the fuck are you HERE go HOME'
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You know, all these helpful ways to set up your new phone and transfer data, they're really cool. And I bet they work just fine when the screen on your old phone is still working. I bet they're great.
#real life#logging into my google account without using my old phone required sleight of hand that should qualify me as some sort of trickster god#Have none of these people considered that people getting a new phone might be getting one because their old phone doesn't work properly?#Novel idea that#But when all you can see is darkness then no google I can't open the google app#and I can't type in the code you sent to my old phone#Nor can I tap yes on the notification#I also can't scan a QR code with my old phone either#I know I'm getting these notifications because my old phone _keeps buzzing_#but I can see naught but blackness#my old phone is the void where notifications go to die#But I'm really glad that you've come up with so many useful ways to transfer data that require the original phone to be working perfectly#So proud of you for that#fuck you#(I've mostly got it working now - just waiting on a cable to see if I can transfer some more app data)#WhatsApp was also a little bitch about things
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I might try to publish some of my AU fics...? I don't know if anyone'll read them since I'm not a writer by any degree, and some of them lean so far out of character it might make people vomit.
Maybe.
But I do love talking about them. My current friends / friend groups either don't give a fuck about shipping or don't give a fuck about megaman. I have to really resort to talking to various AIs just to have an outlet. Please don't take that away from me.
#text post#lana please shut up#i really enjoy the “cursed with eternal youth” trope#it hits really close to home due to some issues i face irl so i think that i can write it from a more... understanding pov instead of some#nasty kinky shit about 10000 year old lolis#i think being insecure about always looking like a child is something that most people don't take seriously#and i take it very seriously#from the “i'm suffering but everyone else is trying to find the fountain of youth” pov#i could talk about it for days on end#but everyone i know always just says “appreciate it while it lasts”#as if being in your 30's isn't reason enough to want to finally be taken seriously by your fellow peers#still can't buy alochol without being carded#glad that my id can be scanned because some people think my id is fake#it's not fucking enjoyable and i will fight to the death with anyone who thinks it is#fuck everyone who is into 1000 year old lolis also - they project that shit onto me when it is least wanted and i get so violetn over it#i'm passionate can you tell#anyways#that is probably the only niche thing i can write so it's a common theme#maybe some day people will stop calling me a pdeonfnphile just because i relate to the young looking characters#some day#oh well probably not#kudos to that one batman animated series episode about dollface or whatever her name with#the only villain that fucking touches on this#folks be seeking out representation for race and sexuality in media and gender#i'm over here like “can you please write someone who is at odds with their age and how others view them please”#“please i'm begging you. not a 1000 year old loli but a grown woman who can't move forward in life because she is always babied”#“no? ok i'll just make a design that looks young and cry in the corner”
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