#me triggering myself with my own queued posts

[adhd-merlin]

merlin's happiness and pride at arthur's and then at gwen's coronation. do NOT make me think about it.

[lestatslestits]

Hey! I don't mean to be rude, but I was wondering what your take on the allegations against Neil Gaiman is? (Especially considering more women came out about their experiences recently, including on a less controversial podcast) You still post good omens stuff and I haven't seen you say anything about them...(at least upon searching his name, though the Tumblr search function IS broken) Tbh it's none of my business and I should probably just silently unfollow you but I wanted to hear what you think because it's hard not to assume things and I'd rather not. So like. Feel free to ignore this if you want

Hi, Anon

My take is fuck him. My take is that it sucks that the news was originally broken by journalists whose clear conservative ties obscured the conversation. To be clear, I believe the victims and, once more, fuck Gaiman. But the conservative tendency to associate trans people and the people who publicly support them with predatory behavior did impact the credibility of the journalists involved, which sucks. I think the situation becomes clearer as more allegations pop up, but the news cycle being what it is, some people are going to miss even seeing that update. The only reason I even know about them is because the conversation popped up on a horror literature subreddit I follow.

With all of that said, my relationship with Good Omens is my own. I’ve been a fan of the book for something like 12 years, and it’s a book with two authors, one of which is not alive to see these allegations or make a statement. It was a part of my journey to deconstructing my fundamentalist upbringing. It was a part of how I met my incredible partner. I myself am still unpacking my relationship with it in light of this news—kind of like I had to unpack my relationship with it when it had the fingerprints of the most toxic and emotionally damaging relationship I’ve ever been a part of all over it in my mind. If I come up with the perfect solution to having a complex relationship with media made by fucked up human beings I will publish my results and make a gazillion dollars. Until then, I’ll work it out as best I can on my own. As will you, as will everyone.

I could list out all of my triggers and traumas and day-to-day struggles to explain why I may or may not have commented at the time (look, I’ve slept since then, I don’t remember if I did or not). But I’m not gonna do that. I could explain that talking about it would have been triggering to me at the time (and, coincidentally, is potentially triggering to me now, but I’m addressing it anyways). I could point out that my queue is hundreds of posts long, that a lot (not all, but a lot) of the posts you’re seeing are queued, and I don’t have the time or energy to weed through everything I queued months and months ago back when it was a thousand posts long.

But ultimately I can’t actually stop you from making assumptions you’re going to make or not make, I can just speak to you honestly. Fuck Gaiman. Fuck Joss Whedon (whose Buffy series I’m a fan of). Fuck Anne Rice for a list of things that would be longer than your ask. Fuck people who use money, fame, or a position of power to hurt others. That’s my take.

For your own peace, anon, I recommend curating your space in a way that makes you feel comfortable. If that means unfollowing me or not, I wish you the best.

[josiebelladonna]

i’m actually getting kind of depressed about kinktober.

paradise is done, and i’m halfway through tijuana sunrise and coming up on two-thirds of the way through hungry lion (meaning i’ll have them all signed and sealed right on time, which gives me time to return to my longfics as well as inktober, i.e., i can relax), but i’m looking at the tag again and everyone now is like “ooh, we’re all so sexy and horny here, getting so excited for this!!” and… i’m just not vibing with it.

if anything, it’s triggering me again. it makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me. i don’t have the same fantasies as these people, or the same kinks, or the same desires, or even apparently the same approach to the prompts—meanwhile, it’s getting really hard to tell them all apart from each other. i’d rather write about what i like, bring full autonomy to mine, than let some stranger who just has to do a reader insert because it’s the latest thing to tell me what to imagine. you don’t know me, you don’t know what goes through my mind. i’m sorry, i don’t have a praise, size, breeding, or creaming kink. if anything, i hate those kinks and it totally kills the mood for me if i see any of those on a list (and unfortunately, that’s all of them). i’m only just getting over my hang-up with sex toys—and i’m still on shaky ground there, like i’ll write about it but you still couldn’t pay me money to get one myself—now you’re showing me kinks that i find repulsive a dime a dozen? spare me. just… spare me.

i’d rather do what i want. you’d think this is a power phrase but fucking hell, it’s a lonely one at that.

if anything, i’m glad i’m queuing all of this up and looking the other way because if i didn’t, we’d probably face a repeat of last year. i expect to be laughed at for a fair few of them, especially the water kink. i don’t want to think about it. i don’t even want to care about it anymore. i just want to relax.

at the same time, i wish it wasn’t like this. i wish the community was more open to an alien like me. i wish the community had more brains and imagination, if i’m honest (looking at the posts that are like “duuuhhhh, where’s teh offishul prompts for this year”). i say this because in my research and journaling about sexuality, i’ve seen this running theme of “a woman’s most sexual organ is her brain”; unfortunately, none of these reader inserts will let me imagine the scenario and i really don’t know who’s fault that is, either, the person who wrote it or my own hang-ups; but it makes me want more… i want to say, intellect in these fics. i’m guessing it’s a combination of both because 9 times out of 10, these fics are… well, fics, and i have to read them about 5 times at the least to understand what the hell is happening, and at that point, i’m already bored. i’m also guessing that’s a tall order, too—really, no offense, but I really don’t know what i’m expecting going into the tags. i could probably count on one hand how many times i walked into a room and said to myself, “am i the smartest one here?” and this is one of those times.

i wish every bloody fic didn’t involve “you” or “y/n” (i fucking gag every time i see that one) in some way. just… why? why is this so popular? i feel like i’m going crazy looking at the utter glut, no, the utter avalanche of these things.

and most of all, i wish i could just do it and say “this is all me and i’d rather do what i want” and not internally squirm. internally squirm and upset my stomach and give me a headache. i wish i could just do it.

[tormentum-ab-intra]

Hey, I'm Tormie!

You can also call me Tor. Whichever. It's only Tormentum if we're being formal ;) I'm an artist! I also write. I've been putting off making this info post for a hot minute, but here we are, finally!

Here there be whump. You can expect to see general oc content, gore, whump, nsfw (or as nsfw as tumblr will let me get away with, at least,) nsfwhump, and a fuckton of monster ocs. I'm Tall Giant Longlegged Monster OCs McGee, baybey. (I have a fandom blog, mainly for One Piece stuff, @tormie-tormie-chopper if that's more your speed! I post there once in a blue moon.)

I don't have any masterlists yet, but hopefully I'll get around to making those soon!

Here there be freaks, and here freaks are welcome. Let's be weird and fucked up and into weird and fucked up things together <3 (This should go without saying but I'm gonna say it anyway: Me writing about, talking about, or drawing something does not mean I endorse it in real life. Cool? Cool 😂) My blog is not intended for minors.

My pronouns are it/its. However, both gender neutral and masculine gendered terms are welcome! Feminine gendered terms are also fine but better saved for silly or joking contexts.

Bigotry, hate speech, and so on are NOT welcome. TERFS are not welcome. I'm not interested in starting or engaging in discourse, so racists, homophobes, transphobes, bigots, zionists, and the like will be blocked expeditiously. Like just be chill and I'll be chill back.

Commissions: open! Take a look at my info post for those here, or visit my Ko-fi page here!

Look below the cut for askbox info and info on my tagging system.

Some common general tags I'll be using: -#tor draws for anything with my own artwork in it -#tor animates for anything with my own animations in it -#tor thinks for posts containing thoughts or rambles. -#tor's corner is basically the #tor thinks tag but like. for really brief and/or asinine stuff that doesn't have anything insightful or interesting in it. me sitting in a corner talking to myself basically -#tor answers for answered asks. -#tor speaks for announcements. -#tor writes for posts of my own writing, e.g. drabbles and such. -#torque for queued posts. (get it? because tor...queue? torqueue? torque? ahaha....hahaha........ah. I'll see myself out.) -oc: [character name] to indicate which ocs are in a post -I will usually tag tropes where applicable, characters in the post, ships in the post, and any other relevant aspects.

Some common CW tags to look out for or block according to need: -#nsft for explicitly nsfw posts and artwork, or for posts with links to explicitly nsfw fics or artwork (because I know tumblr won't let me post certain things and I may have to share links to those things instead.) This doesn't include nonsexual nudity though. -#suggestive for posts and artwork that are risque or mildly nsfw in nature but don't describe or depict anything explicit. somewhat hit or miss whether i actually use this one ngl -#nsfwhump for posts and artwork that are nsfw and depict noncon -#gore for all posts and artwork with excessive amounts of blood or graphic depictions of severe injuries -#body horror for posts and artwork with body horror, particularly when depicted in intense or grotesque ways. -#blood for posts and artwork with excessive amounts of blood in them. I probably won't use this tag for posts that only have small amounts of blood in them unless the blood is somehow the focus or part of the focus. -#eyestrain for posts and artwork with intensely bright and saturated colors, flashing effects, and so on. -Additional tags for relevant triggering subjects will be added when applicable. I will always try to tag my posts and artwork accurately, especially when it comes to potentially triggering subjects, but if I've missed something, feel free to let me know!

[stolas-little-nest]

Introduction Post

Hello, little owlets! I’d seen the community here and wanted to indulge a bit and create my own blog! So here’s a little thing about me, and some ground rules!

You may call me Stolas, or a variety of nicknames like papa, bubba, etc. I will always let you know if there’s a nickname I don’t care for but in general most are alright.

While this is a roleplay blog, I am a fictive in a system! Please have respect for that. We are bodily 26 years of age, so if you are uncomfortable interacting with someone of our age then please take care of yourself and move on.

If there is anything I need to tag please let me know!

Rules

1. Have respect for myself, for others, and (most importantly) yourself.

2. Foul language must be kept to a minimum.

3. Triggering subjects such as self-harm, child abuse, and substance abuse will be tagged appropriately and handled as sensitively as possible. This is a safe space for you to vent frustrations, but we also make sure others are safe as well!

4. Emojis for anons are on a first-come, first-serve basis. Asks answered from named anons will be tagged as such so that they are easily found.

5. OC’s, canon characters, characters from other fandoms, and non-fandom blogs are all allowed here!

Anons

-

Tags

#queue are my darling~! : posts I have queued

#stolas speaks : in-character posts

#ooc : out-of-character posts

[ratskcoreddie]

welcome to my humble abode. please be courteous and read the following rules & introduction before following my account. thanks! i hope you enjoy the show! ↓

im very thankful that you’re visiting my blog! this corner of tumblr is my safe space and i plan to keep it that way. to help me do this here’s a few things before you start trekking around these parts. please be kind and considerate to my boundaries.

before you follow & interact with me:

my blog is an nsfw, fem!reader blog. i write content and consume / repost media that is 18+. be aware that if you under the age of eighteen you should not view this blog. if you follow me and are blank or ageless you will be blocked. if you are an account that post nsfw content but have a 16+ in your bio, that makes me uncomfortable and you will be blocked! minors stay away!

if you ignore these requests and read my works i am not responsible, your media consumption is your own responsibility and i will not be held accountable for what you indulge in.

(everyone on this site is fully aware that minors have accounts on tumblr, i speak on behalf of all adult fanfiction writers that we hope you respect our boundaries when it comes to our NSFW content. you will be blocked.)

all of my fanfiction warnings will be tagged to the best of my abilities, if there is anything that even might be triggering it will be tagged. as far as other things go i am human and will miss things from time to time. be patient with me as i update tags after posting.

any form of racism, homophobia, sexism, bullying, transphobia is not tolerated from anyone on my account. there are somethings i will write about that deal with bullying, homophobia, or sexism but all of my writings are FICTIONAL. they do not reflect my views & will always be tagged.

any comments, likes, reblogs, or asks are greatly appreciated. i'm not on my phone a ton so don't worry about if you're spamming me! it doesn't really phase me. however, i am quiet shy! you can try messaging me through my inbox, but i can’t guarantee i will chat up or answer questions right away. i will try my best!

(if you’re creepy, rude, a blank / ageless blog, weird to me, racist, sexist, xenophobic, or if your vibes are just absolutely wretched, you will be blocked.)

about me:

i've never been great at introductions, but here goes.

my name is eri! i'm twenty-two, & i'm a june gemini. my name is just a nickname because i have a really unique name outside of the tumblr verse and would hate for anyone to find my account, but i’ve gone by this name on other sites such as twitter for awhile! my handle is rockstareddie but backwards; ratskcoreddie, hope that makes sense! i use she/they pronouns and i work in the entertainment industry. i love strawberrys, my favorite colors are red and beige. i have a pretty extravagant music taste and love traveling.

i'm apologize for being so short. i’m very conservative when it comes to telling people about myself over the internet (digital footprint and all that) but i hope i can convey some of my personality through my works and writings!

about my works:

again, content warnings for my writings will be tagged on every single work, i will try my best to be thorough and tag everything! please always remember to check the tags for my works.

im currently working on a series in the au i’ve created, four parts are already done and they will be posted every tuesday between the times 4:00 pm - 11:00 pm. after these four queued post i will definitely slow down on posting!

please don’t post my works on other websites. it’s okay to comment, like, and repost! comments are highly appreciated; willing to accept feedbacks and requests for new fics as well. i also love receiving recommendations. send anything my way!

i appreciate each of you! if you'd like to support me with a reblog or a comment (something as simple as you key smashing in the tags or responding to my work motivates me to write more), i'd love that! thanks so much for even checking out my blog!

characters i will write about:

tldr: eddie munson, steve harrington.

currently, i only write for steve harrington, eddie munson, and in the stranger things universe. this is probably what im going to stick to on my blog. there will be appearances from other characters (but only to benefit the story i'm writing).

tropes i will write about:

stranger to friends to lovers, enemies to lovers, slow burn, forced proximity, forbidden love, second chance, soulmates, fake relationship, sworn off relationships, oblivious to love, ect.

topics i will write about:

im comfortable with writing with fluff, smut, and angst. each of my works will be tagged with what topic they follow. if a work of mine contains heavy angst, extreme fluff, or a lot of smut, i can assure you it will be tagged!

tropes & topics i wont write about: (tw)

please understand that i wont write anything that makes me uncomfortable. such as ddlg, cheating, incest, self-harm, large age gaps, noncon, cnc, power dynamics, ect. nor will i share ask that make me uncomfortable. if you send me an ask that contains triggering material you will be blocked.

well, hello again! welcome to the bottom of my rules, you've made it! thank you for reading!!! please know that i’ll update this post periodically if i think of anything else to add in the future. i'll be sure to let you know when i do with a reblog & tag or comment.

thanks for reading & enjoy your stay!

★masterlist || ← go back home? || join my taglist

[ohsoswitchy]

PINNED POST

check out my onlyfans <3 _____________________________________________

please read before interacting with my blog ⚠️ - i have a block button and i am going to use it; terfs, truscum, polyphobes, right-wingers, ageplayers, raceplayers, detrans/misogyny blogs, "icky" blogs of all types, anti-abortion folks, pro ana/eating disorder blogs, feedism blogs DO NOT FUCKING INTERACT

i used to have an eating disorder and i will block on sight if your blog is about losing or gaining weight in any way. leave me the fuck alone. i don't want your shit near me.

most posts on this blog are from my queued list, blog activity doesn't mean i'll react quickly to messages.

content warnings/tags of my original posts will be marked as "cw [insert triggering content]", though most likely not for all reblogs, so proceed at your own risk.

general triggers for this blog include anything listed below, but specifically blood, horror/body horror, slight cnc (nothing somno or "icky" though), murder/death/suicide, drugs/alcohol (not cnc)

---

about me:

- the name i use for this blog is prince. please don't refer to me with any other name unless i ask you to and we've established boundaries about it.

- positive nicknames (baby, love, darling, honey, etc) are okay tho

- i'm 18+

- i use neutral pronouns. DO NOT slide into my dms calling me a good girl/boy without warning.

- i'm autistic. i literally do not understand written irony unless you use /s, /j or smth like that.

- i am bisexual, nonbinary, and polyamorous/a relationship anarchist. i also use lesbian and greyromantic as a label.

- i would consider myself a switch with a sub tendency, and a bottom at heart, not in practice

- i am not looking for a relationship on tumblr, something casual is fine

- i use the stoplight safeword system (green for a-okay, yellow for slow down/pause, red for full stop/move to aftercare), i will only partake in sexual activity if we're using that

- i will only partake in sexual activity if we're asking each other for consent before and throughout

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kinks/preferences:

impact play & marks, masochism/painplay, bondage, hypno, alien/monsterfucking, VAMPIRES, royalty/power play, social status in general, medfet/medical play, denial and edging, dumbification, tears/crying, just generally getting fucked into oblivion really, group fun/sharing is caring, brat/brat taming, intox/drug play (EXPLICITLY not in a cnc way), BEGGING, very vocal sex in general, languages, cockwarming, suspension/shibari, nipple play, leather, PRAISE, soft/gentle domination, spitting, sadism, anal, food play, findom, sex tapes, teacher/student stuff, voiceplay, murder and murder suicide kink, paraphilia/snuff to some degree, body horror, gore, blood, violence, choking

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hard limits:

scat/vomit/piss, ageplay, raceplay, any misogynistic or transphobic kinks, sissification, anything that focuses on being skinny/fat or specific body types, anything actually nonconsensual, somno, "asking for it" narratives, feedism, incest/fauxcest, anything "icky"

-

soft limits/depends on the context if i'm into it, ask me first:

daddy/mommy kink, cnc, abduction, petplay, humiliation, free use, hunter/huntee / predator/prey primal

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feel free to send me horny asks and love anytime 🥰

[chromorbid]

If you get this, answer with 3 random facts about yourself and send it to the last 7 blogs in your notifications, anonymously or not!

i just got so emotional over old ask chains bc of this, god you remember those days????? in 2012-2016 when this was a thing all the time and people had so much fun learning about one another and making friends??? i just happened to be looking at tags on my ollllllld second blog right before seeing this too. that feels a bit serendipitous, dont you think? :')

instead of just "3 random facts" i think i'll use this ask as a springboard prompt for a brief history of my time here on this website, since a lot of folks are returning and it might be nice to come out and see what some of my old lost chums might be up to now.

In mid-2011 i joined tumblr because i realized all my favorite dA artists were posting on dA less and on here more. I didn't do much here until i encountered a piece of fanart of a character from a certain webcomic, got curious about that comic, enjoyed it, and discovered that there was a big community on tumblr who liked it! my first ever URL was.... man i don't really remember! Maybe something reflecting my dA name at the time? But i don't remember what that was then either, having deleted that account ages ago. but i think my second one was "gamzeecryingalonewithpie" or something to that effect because the "laughing alone with salad" stock photo meme was big. It was so silly.

Eventually i trended into making all my urls/handles some sort of pun having to do with death, and some years ago i settled on my current url for a twitter handle because it really hit me in a place. My best friend and currently roommate @mossspores came up with it!

Anyhow, i basically spent all my time on tumblr being comparatively insufferable from 2011 to about 2017 before i migrated the majority of it to twitter. At the moment, I actually keep looking at all my archived posts from my old blog trying to find some old OC stuff and being ridiculously embarrassed at how silly (ignorant? abrasive? entitled?) my young self was. I'm not certain about sharing my olllllld URLs besides the one from before, but probably my most famous one was "ammodramus"--I was bestowed the nickname "Ammo" for the longest time and probably gained the most followers during the run of that one. I think the most followers i ever got up to was somewhere around 700 on my first blog and close to 1,800 on my second one. (funny now, i've had this particular blog probably the longest out of the three and barely have over 100. i like this better, though.)

Now for the BIGGEST thing i was part of....i was really into the whole once-ler fandom craze. yeah. i was there on the ground floor, and basically became one of the biggest enablers of the ask-blog phenomenon. i even tried really hard to make my own of the "personification" blogs eventually, but it fell down flat because i was in a dark place mentally on the side while also dealing with the gradual degradation of my physical ability to draw (aka painful arthritis). But i had the most fun i had ever had online before in the thick of it. i made toooons of friends and i even still keep in touch with a few of them. There were a lot of mistakes and upsetting blunders made by myself and a lot of people i knew, but these days i think i'm generally okay outing myself as having been a part of it. i mean, it's been ten goddamn years since that kicked off after all. lmfao. i was also an ignorant teenager.

Now you'll just see me skulking about on here vaguely while reblogging posts in short bursts because i still never took to figuring out how queuing posts works best. For a long-ass time i had a tagging system i took VERY seriously and trigger-tagged religiously. when i remade to my third and current blog, i gave that up and BOY did my mental health suddenly improve or WHAT. i realized i'd been absolutely running myself ragged with caring about appearances and making sure as often as possible to upset NO ONE with my posts. Basically, the way that simply analyzing every single post i shared and making sure to cover ALL my bases to make sure no one felt irked by my sharing of a post, was, uh. To put it mildly, fucking exhausting. And i posted A LOT. I can guarantee i had to have cumulatively reblogged nearly half a million posts between those two accounts. Last i checked on just my second blog, the pages went back into the 10,000s.

so yeah! hi to anyone who read through this whole thing who i knew way back when! I'm doing much better than i used to be, thanks to a lot of therapy and medication. i made it out of the house i grew up in, even the State i grew up in, and feel a lot less like i'm gonna die before 30! :') i've been chilling, playing final fantasy xiv, and eating lots of rice and vegetables. o/

thanks for the ask! <3

[hnnybears]

Little Blog Intro :3

this little blog is a SIDE blog!!

my main blog is @bnnybee so if I follow/like anything don’t be alarmed that my big blog interacted w/ you! it is just me, I am small and sfw I promise :,)

Here is a bit about me:

My name is Mars

I don’t mind any pronouns but prefer she/they

I am 21 big and age slide between 2-10 small

I am a trauma survivor and regress strictly as a way to cope (100% sfw!)

I would *love* to make some friends here in the community; feel free to reach out!

I am diagnosed with OSDD, and while I normally wouldn’t disclose something like that to the world, I’m having a hard time accepting this diagnosis and trying to feel normal living with it. So here I am trying to normalize it and make it feel real :,) I would also like to make friends with similar experiences but I’m too scared to reach out first 😅 (pls reach out)

I’m working on putting up a post with all of my interests, but for now here are my top 3: bluey, coloring, and early 2000s nostalgia

I’m trying really hard to break out of my shell and be authentically and unapologetically myself, and it’s taking a lot of courage so I really hope this doesn’t backfire on me 😖 I’m also going to try to post some original content -hold me to it!

Boundaries 🌟 DNI

pls follow the basic dni criteria. I have a banner that lists them if you are not sure.

I would *prefer* to only have private conversations with others who are also 18+ in age. I’m still okay being mutuals and having *public* convos with minors but that’s mostly it, sorry 😅

I do not intend to post anything even remotely triggering on this blog, but even so I want to disclose that I do not tag triggering topics that extend past commonly known triggers. everyone is responsible for their own triggers and if there is something I post about that makes you uncomfortable, it is your responsibility to unfollow/block me. Again though, it is my goal to keep this blog trigger free :3

DNI | basic dni, homophobia, racism, bullying, fake claiming (idc if ur opinion of me just don’t make public drama about it pls) don’t use my personal pictures, dni -16/26+ (age wise)

Tags 🏷

#marsbear - original content/my pics

#bearqueue - queued content

#craftybear - arts n crafts/journaling related posts

this post was last updated on 1/8/23

[beneaththehalo]

about this blog ⊹ ࣪ ˖

•my reblogs alternate between art posts and fandom related posts (fanart, fanfiction, etc).

•this blog will contain very few standalone text posts. text-related posts are likely updates from myself, fanfiction or answered asks. this is just a personal preference — i want my blog to scroll like an art gallery!

•a lot of my posts are queued, so if you send a message or an ask it is likely you’ll experience a slight delay before i respond. i promise i’m not ignoring you!

•my interests are far and wide between anime, film, television, video games, etc. however, i will try to highlight whatever is currently grabbing my attention in my pinned post.

•i do enjoy writing from time to time, but i wouldn’t call this a traditional writing blog by any means. if you’re interested in that, please check out my ao3 & refer to ‘the holy manuscript;’ tag to see more! the best way to support my writing is to comment, reblog and even send a cute ask.

•this blog is sort of a fresh start. i lost my 600 follower writing blog & a lot of my old masterlist that i had for a little over a year due to tumblr shadowban. i’m still waiting for my love of writing and inspiration to strike me once more, but i’m hoping that in time — i’ll be excited to create once again.

expectations ⊹ ࣪ ˖

•basic dni criteria applies to this blog. i’m sure you’ve seen it several times on a bunch of different socials. if you question whether or not you’re included in the dni criteria, air on the side of caution and dni.

•speaking of dni, due to the nature of reblogging explicit fanfictions and sometimes suggestive imagery/gifs, i would prefer to keep this blog 18 and over. realistically, i cannot monitor every single interaction, but i will do my best to maintain this boundary.

•please do not send pornographic video links (typically from twitter) in my inbox. it makes me uncomfortable and i will block you.

•i will do my best to tag any potential triggers on any of my reblogs. please feel free to message me if i miss any!

•examine your media with nuance and understand that some content can perpetuate harmful themes. it is your job to educate yourself and inform your own opinions. curate your own safe space online, do not expect me to do it for you!

•do not expect me to commentate on inner-fandom drama. it is unnecessary and unpleasant for everyone involved.

•kink shaming is not welcome here. everyone is entitled to their own preferences between consenting adults. however, i will not interact with illegal explicit content.

beneaththehalo || est. 2024

[skyxfullofmuses]

Mun: Hello. I’m Kay.  I’m 25+ Years old and I live in the UK.

I’m a huge Dork, and really friendly, I don’t bite. So feel free to message me if interested in rping.

Rules: So Like most Rpers, I do have a few Rules, Please be aware of them, and I shall love you forever.

Anon Hate- Now, I love Anons as much as the next person, and will happily answer these Anons, HOWEVER I will not tolerate Hate, either directed at me, My Muses, or my Partners. There is no need for it.

Selectivity- I am a SEMI selective blog. But that being said, some days I have muse for some threads and not for others. Also, I work Full time so this isn’t where I am most the time.

Faces- There are some FCs I hesitate to RP with, only because I may not like the actions this celebrity has done, or because they are very aggressive in nature in reality. I also much prefer to RP with actual faces then comic ones, or regular people you have just taken a picture from the internet of.

Queuing.- I DO queue MOST of my replies. This is more for management for myself.

Starters- I do post open and closed starters. Please feel free to reply to an open starter, but closed ones are for the person tagged. IF that closed starter is not replied within 3 months, I do then repost as an open.

Triggers- Now PLEASE respect this. Due to a past, I shall NEVER Rp Rape, Non Con or sexual assault, Please do not mention these in RPS either. Please also tag suicide. I do also have a few Trigging words that I ask you to not use in threads. These are Slut, and Whore. I hate writing these, I hate saying them, again due to a past. Thank you.

Godmodding- please do not godmod. Please also do not assume my characters actions. Most my muses are tough and can take of their own, do not molly sue or Damsel in distress them.

NSFW- I am of age, and my muses are to. There will be smut on this blog. If you need it under read mores, let me know. I will tag, but this is a predominately smut blog.

Threads- Threads are tagged with the Partners URL, the Character I use and if its queued. There may be other tags added. I am happy to Rp with OCs and Canons. Thread Length is not an issue, but I do ask that you give me something to work with. I tend to use icons, but please do not feel you have to copy how I reply. Format is not an issue, pictures are not an issue.

ASKS- When sending an ask, unless obvious who its for, as in we have only the one pairing, and its obviously to them. PLEASE specify. Or I will randomly choose.

Shipping:- I love shipping, and I do have some Canon ships that I would love you forever if you threw them at me :D I prefer to base things on Chemistry when OCs are involved, because we have to know character chemistry. However, I am willing to discuss, so please come talk, do not assume ships will just happen.

DNI's- A New rule that I feel I need to add due to the current toxicity in some Fandoms. I DO NOT care about your DNI. If you do not wish to rp with me, because of someone else I rp with. Your loss.  I DO NOT partake in Callout posts or Drama. If you post such things, then shame on you. Why are you bringing unnecessary hate and drama into a world where there is enough already, when Tumblr is a place we come to forget the shit of the day and the world and relax and reach into our creativity. Why bad mouth people. Just because you may not like them, do not force others to as well. Its unnecessary attention seeking. ALSO… I do not believe them, because A. You only hear one side of the story. B. Things can be taken out of Context. C. You do not know where the emphasis is in the phrase, as do not hear a voice behind simple words. (For Example “Lets eat Grandma” Depending on how you say it, Grandma could be joining you for dinner, or could be running for her life.) and D. People can easily manipulate things to make it look like others are in the wrong, when that might not be the truth. Please NO NOT involve me in any of it.

ALSO…. just because I refuse to be part of it, this does not make me Racist, Transphobic, Homophobic… etc… I DO NOT condone ANY OF THAT! And to accuse someone of that, without HARD evidence just makes you as Arse! (yes, I am British, thats how we spell it.)

Just be nice ok? Because the World is hateful enough. I don’t want to participate in your hate. Let me choose for myself who I do or Do not Rp with. 

          And so with that. Happy Rping. May the threads be ever in your favour    

[chxrmedones]

Mun: Hello. I’m Kay.  I’m 25+ Years old and I live in the UK.

I’m a huge Dork, and really friendly, I don’t bite. So feel free to message me if interested in rping.

Rules: So Like most Rpers, I do have a few Rules, Please be aware of them, and I shall love you forever.

Anon Hate- Now, I love Anons as much as the next person, and will happily answer these Anons, HOWEVER I will not tolerate Hate, either directed at me, My Muses, or my Partners. There is no need for it.

Selectivity- I am a SEMI selective blog. But that being said, some days I have muse for some threads and not for others. Also, I work Full time so this isn’t where I am most the time.

Faces- There are some FCs I hesitate to RP with, only because I may not like the actions this celebrity has done, or because they are very aggressive in nature in reality. I also much prefer to RP with actual faces then comic ones, or regular people you have just taken a picture from the internet of.

Queuing.- I DO queue MOST of my replies. This is more for management for myself.

Starters- I do post open and closed starters. Please feel free to reply to an open starter, but closed ones are for the person tagged. IF that closed starter is not replied within 3 months, I do then repost as an open.

Triggers- Now PLEASE respect this. Due to a past, I shall NEVER Rp Rape, Non Con or sexual assault, Please do not mention these in RPS either. Please also tag suicide. I do also have a few Trigging words that I ask you to not use in threads. These are Slut, and Whore. I hate writing these, I hate saying them, again due to a past. Thank you.

Godmodding- please do not godmod. Please also do not assume my characters actions. Most my muses are tough and can take of their own, do not molly sue or Damsel in distress them.

NSFW- I am of age, a majority of my muses are too. There may be smut, and I will try to tag it. HOWEVER if our muses relationship does reach that point, and you are not comfortable, feel free to poke me and fade to black. I will do likewise if not in the mood to write it.

Threads- Threads are tagged with the Partners URL, the Character I use and if its queued. There may be other tags added. I am happy to Rp with OCs and Canons. Thread Length is not an issue, but I do ask that you give me something to work with. I tend to use icons, but please do not feel you have to copy how I reply. Format is not an issue, pictures are not an issue.

ASKS- When sending an ask, unless obvious who its for, as in we have only the one pairing, and its obviously to them. PLEASE specify. Or I will randomly choose.

Shipping:- I love shipping, and I do have some Canon ships that I would love you forever if you threw them at me :D I prefer to base things on Chemistry when OCs are involved, because we have to know character chemistry. However, I am willing to discuss, so please come talk, do not assume ships will just happen.

DNI's- A New rule that I feel I need to add due to the current toxicity in some Fandoms. I DO NOT care about your DNI. If you do not wish to rp with me, because of someone else I rp with. Your loss.  I DO NOT partake in Callout posts or Drama. If you post such things, then shame on you. Why are you bringing unnecessary hate and drama into a world where there is enough already, when Tumblr is a place we come to forget the shit of the day and the world and relax and reach into our creativity. Why bad mouth people. Just because you may not like them, do not force others to as well. Its unnecessary attention seeking. ALSO… I do not believe them, because A. You only hear one side of the story. B. Things can be taken out of Context. C. You do not know where the emphasis is in the phrase, as do not hear a voice behind simple words. (For Example “Lets eat Grandma” Depending on how you say it, Grandma could be joining you for dinner, or could be running for her life.) and D. People can easily manipulate things to make it look like others are in the wrong, when that might not be the truth. Please NO NOT involve me in any of it.

ALSO…. just because I refuse to be part of it, this does not make me Racist, Transphobic, Homophobic… etc… I DO NOT condone ANY OF THAT! And to accuse someone of that, without HARD evidence just makes you as Arse! (yes, I am British, thats how we spell it.)

Just be nice ok? Because the World is hateful enough. I don’t want to participate in your hate. Let me choose for myself who I do or Do not Rp with. 

          And so with that. Happy Rping. May the threads be ever in your favour    

[evanthetrashpanda]

Intro Post!

I update this from time to time, so if it’s been awhile since the last time you looked at it, give it a reread!

Hi, I’m Evan (they/it/any neopronouns)!

I’m 21, and live in California!

You may know of me from TikTok, Ao3, or you may have just come across my Tumblr!

I’ve also made a YouTube! (I haven’t posted anything over there yet, but ya know, just putting it out there!)

All of my posts (including this one) are tagged #my post

All queued posts are tagged #q (Queued posts are scheduled to post 3 times per day)

While asks are open, I may not respond to each/any of them. That being said, any posts responding to an ask will be tagged #ask and #my post (Anonymous asks are turned OFF)

Regardless I hope you have an amazing day and remember to eat food, drink water, take your meds (if you have any!), and to be a good person!

Also, if you need any help with figuring out how to pronounce my name, or how to use my pronouns, head on over to here: en.pronouns.page/u/evanthetrashpanda

My website: evanthetrashpanda.carrd.co

My Boundaries:

(under the keep reading)

Keep in mind that I try to be a very laid back/easy going person, but it is very important to me that all of these are respected.

These apply everywhere, not just on tumblr.

🦝 : I would prefer if you use tone tags when talking to me!

🦝 : Don’t sexualize me. Compliments/admiring me is fine! Just don’t be weird y’know?

(On that note, I do prefer the masculine version of those rather than feminine and/or androgynous)

🦝 : Don’t trauma dump. I care about you and I want you to be as happy as possible, but there’s only so much help I can give you.

If you actively need someone to talk to, please use one of the resources here: Born This Way Foundation - Find A Helpline

🦝 : Do not talk about/joke about triggering topics. I’m fine with the occasional dark humor, but just use common sense (there's a time & place for everything). I will not hesitate to ban/block you if a joke is taken too far.

🦝 : Don’t go looking for my personal info. I keep those things private for my own safety.

That being said, if you doxx me, I can and will take the appropriate legal action in response.

You can learn more about doxxing here: What Is Doxxing - Definition and Explanation And how to protect yourself from doxxing here: Protect yourself from “Doxxing”

🦝 : Don’t baby me. I promise I can take care of myself.

🦝 : I’m fine with fanart, fanfiction, edits, and cosplay!

• I'm fine with being drawn as a person or a raccoon, I have no preference!

• Please put the fic on a website meant for fanfics (like AO3, Wattpad, Quotev, FF.N, etc.) so I don't just randomly run across it.

• Please don't create NSFW or triggering stuff when the content is about me. Doing so about characters I've created and/or portrayed is fine! It's just very triggering when it's actually about me, y'know?

🦝 : You can use my face as your pfp (or art of me as your pfp) just don’t go around spreading drama/negativity. I don’t want to be associated with any of that.

🦝 : Don’t LEGITIMATELY ship me with people. Joking about it is fine! I tend to jokingly flirt with some friends, but don’t take it seriously.

🦝 : Don’t call me “dad", “daddy”, or any other type of parental unit. I’m not qualified to be a father. If anything, I’d prefer to be called a “weird queer uncle”/“that one gay cousin”/“protective queer brother” or something like that lol

🦝 : Don’t speak on my behalf. If someone is breaking my boundaries/hating me, just ignore it.

You also don't need to tell me if it's happening or not. Chances are, I already know what's going on tbh.

🦝 : If I'm on someone else's stream, don't make it just about me. It's their stream. Be respectful to them.

🦝 : I know I’m a small content creator and I try to interact with you guys a lot, but keep in mind that I don’t know you. I care about you, but unfortunately we are not friends. I don’t have to join vc with you. I don’t have to dm you. I don’t have to respond/collab/make a video about/add you etc. You know me, but I don’t know you.

🦝 : Absolutely do not go purposely looking for the people in my personal life. Some may be on social media and some may not be. If they choose to make an appearance, that is their choice, not mine, yours, or anyone else’s. It’s called a personal life for a reason.

🦝 : If I say I don’t want to do something, that is the end of discussion, no matter the subject at hand.

🦝 : Absolutely do not call me by my deadname. It’s called a deadname for a reason.

🦝 : I know that I talk about my abusers on my socials, but do not go looking for/threaten/stalk/etc. them. They may be shitty people, but let me deal with them.

Last Edited: September 9, 2024 — 1:25pm / 13:25 (Pacific Time — US & Canada)

Reason: Changed the number for the queued posts from 5 to 3

[positivitee]

I curate this blog with only one person in mind: me.

If the things I post bring you happiness too, that’s great! I love that, and you are more than welcome here!

However, at the end of the day, I am making this blog for ME.

About this Blog:

I started this blog because I am autistic, and a lot of the time when I have a meltdown, it can feel like the world is quite literally ending, like nothing will ever be ok again, and everything is hopeless and worthless. Obviously this isn’t true, but in that moment, no matter what I logically know, it FEELS true.

I thought it could be helpful for me to have a place full of things that give me hope or make me happy, something that I could look at when I’m feeling hopeless so that I can have some hope to cling to until I’m feeling better.

I considered making an actual physical journal, but my executive functioning skills are quite poor & I felt like a tumblr blog would have a lot less barriers for me, since I spend most of my time on tumblr anyway.

Important Things to Know:

Because I’m using this basically in lieu of a private journal, I’m probably not going to do research on whether things are fake or AI or reposted or whatever. If I see something and it makes me feel hopeful/happy/etc., I’m going to reblog it. Because at the end of the day, if seeing it makes me feel hopeful, it’s done its job. I don’t really care if it’s fact or fiction, I just care that it’s made me not want to die, at least for a little bit. I wouldn’t be fact checking things I write in a journal, I’m not gonna fact check things on this blog either. If this bothers you please do your own fact checking before reblogging; however, I do NOT want to know if something I reblogged isn’t true, so please don’t send in asks about it! I will be getting on this blog when I am feeling like there is nothing good in the world, to look at these posts to try to make myself feel better. The last thing I want at a moment like that is to get on & see an ask telling me that actually one of the few little glimmers of hope I thought existed isn’t actually true, ya know?

There’s a very good chance things won’t be tagged (or at least, not always). And if I do tag things, my tagging system may or may not make sense or be consistent

I don’t tag for trigger warnings either, sorry. Nothing on here is going to be triggering to me, and since the blog is just for me…yeah. Since the theme of the blog is happiness/hopefulness, I don’t anticipate there being a ton of triggering things, but I also make no guarantees. You’ve been warned 🤷‍♀️

Right now, I’ve got asks & submissions turned on, so feel free to ask or submit something. However, there is a decent chance I will end up turning them off. Since the entire purpose of this blog is for me to be able to come on here during meltdowns to help me feel better, I don’t want to do anything that will make it stressful or make me feel worse. I do tend to struggle a lot with communication & social interaction, so I can see myself getting overwhelmed & needing to turn asks off.

On a similar note, I could see myself making all my posts private & soft blocking everyone some day if I get super overwhelmed so uh. Yeah. Just be aware that could happen 🤷‍♀️.

Most (but not all) of the things that get posted here will probably be queued first. Even with the queue though, there’s still a good chance I’ll disappear for months at a time.

About the Blogger:

I’m in my 30s, she/her. I was diagnosed with autism & adhd a few years ago. My brain makes a lot more sense to me now that I know what autism & adhd are, but things are still really hard & I’ve been experiencing burnout & skill loss for a few years now.

This is a side blog, but I’m not gonna link my main 🤷‍♀️ (can anyone guess what my favorite emoji is lol).

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 141

Last week I posted a day early because vacation was doing vacation things to my sense of time.... This week I forgot to queue the chapter up because Monday was a work holiday, so I forgot today was Tuesday. *insert facepalm here please*

Thanks on this one go largely to @baelpenrose who rightfully pointed out that one part made very little sense to him and therefore was unlikely to make sense to a reader.  The clarification smoothed things out quite a bit, I think.  Just in case, whoever spots the area I’m talking about gets a cookie as soon as travel restrictions lift.

As always, thanks go also to @the-raven-fae, @charlylimph-blog, and @anotherusrname for completing the corners of my support system. And, a super-duper extra-special to @drinksteawithcake! I don’t know if I am allowed to tell everyone why, but you know why you get the extra-special, and I hope you are having fun!

BWAAAAAHP!   BWAAAAAHP!

“Uhhh?” I squinted in complaint as flailing arms clambered over me. One pair snagged me around my waist to drag me from bed before depositing me shakily on my feet. “What are you - ?”

BWAAAAAHP!  BWAAAAAHP!

Any trace of sleep was shoved out of my system, replaced by sizzling alertness when I realized I was hearing ship-wide alarms.  Shoving myself into the first clothing I grabbed, not even bothering with shoes, I was hot on Conor and Maverick’s heels as we raced out of our quarters and into the corridor. We paused only long enough for both men to kiss me and for “I love yous” to be exchanged before they turned and headed toward the areas indicated on their datascreens, while I hauled ass toward the Archives, ducking and twisting to avoid anyone in my path.

“Forty minutes,” Tyche told me crisply as I basically fell through the door, panting. “The Ark could be invaded and the battle over by the time you make it.”

“I ran….huff….the whole….ugh….way….” I managed to gasp out.  Part of me felt like puking, but I was pretty sure the muscles in my abdomen were too busy to figure out the logistics.

Clicking her tongue, she pulled me up from the floor. “Alistair, make a note to suggest to Xio that Sophia’s quarters be relocated once we have a better idea of when we are dropping into real space.”

I nodded numbly. “And probably… amp up… sensors… give… earlier… warning.”

“Nice outfit, by the way,” she laughed quietly as we finally reached the shelter point within the Archives.

Glancing down, I had to suppress a sigh. The first thing I grabbed to dress myself had apparently been a pair of Conor’s boxer shorts and a very filthy t-shirt that I assumed belonged to Maverick, since Conor’s was usually under coveralls. “At least you can’t say I took my time getting dressed.”

Her shaking head was greeted by faces in various states of wakefulness - this had been a drill, and woke nearly the entire Ark during their sleep interval on Delta shift.  But we weren’t out of the woods, yet: the drill didn’t end until all of Xiomara and Evan’s scenarios played out, including the mock combat and various tests of concealment for the other shelters.  As such, Tyche stood guard over the choke-point into this section, while Alistair had stayed behind at the entrance.

Early on, when the drills started, there had been fifty-fifty odds that the mock-invaders would make it this far, but over the past few weeks, that had narrowed to maybe twenty-percent.  It was still too high a chance in my judgement, and Xiomara clearly agreed as she stepped up training schedules and randomized the timing of the drills. 

Taking a swig of water from a stash of bottles, I queued up my datapad and stood next to Tyche, watching the ‘casualties’ from a point where no one could see over my shoulder to avoid panic, which I would have done in a real situation. “They didn’t find mess hall seven this time,” I murmured.

She glanced at my screen. “Acoustics are still too damned high. She must not be simulating for that this go around.”

One of the decoy locations lit up. “Looks like this time it’s heavy on thermal.” The location in question had been equipped with a cooking surface, triggered to activate when the klaxons that had woken me up went off.  Which Xiomara knew, but did not tell the ‘pirates’ for authenticity.

“How did they get past the combatants this time?” She asked, both curious and slightly worried.

Rolling back the sensor data, I watched it carefully. “Looks like these got in during the initial breaches, multiple points. But the line has held since, that’s good.”

Doing another check toward Alistair’s direction, she didn’t seem to see anything concerning. “How many?”

“Four,” I confirmed.  “Sam’s thermal camouflage is working beautifully, though.”  I couldn’t help but grin, and Tyche snorted at the same time. ‘Thermal camouflage’ was a bit of overkill as a name, but it was working well in every round. Potential access points were equipped with fast-acting environmental simulators - originally designed for temporary habitats on inhospitable moons - modified to release atmosphere like a Terran equatorial rainforest within one minute in an enclosed space.  It was a much more simple and elegant solution than any others we had found for giving combatants defending the Ark an advantage - instead of trying to create technology to make them look colder, make the entire area match human heat signatures.  Boom, instantly blinded enemies.

A tense half-hour later, the ‘all clear’ sounded, queueing grumbling from those who had dozed back off as everyone stood to make their ways back to their quarters. I waited with Alistair and Tyche for everyone else to be accounted for on the way out, and the three of us headed back toward our quarters together.  Alistair peeled off first, living closest to the Archives, and no sooner had my sister and I reached my door than the page sounded for the post-drill meeting.  She waved me off as she answered on her databand, and I did the same as I pushed into my quarters and flopped on the couch. “Councillor Sophia Reid, present, audio only,” I answered. “And no jokes, Pranav… I look like I smell awful.”

“Alistair Worthington, present, audio and video. I can confirm that she does, and she does.”

Laughter filled the comms and the rest of the group leaders and Councillors joined the debrief.  Finally, everyone was present and Xiomara called the meeting to order.  First, the leaders of each shelter reported in, as those usually went the fastest. There were a couple malfunctions in the deployment of the shielding to disguise the entrances and hide heat and electrical signatures, but nothing Huynh’s team couldn’t fix.  Tyche and Alistair made the recommendations around earlier detection and the need to move those sheltering in the  Archives closer as we approached time to drop out of relativistic space. 

Once that was out of the way, it was on to the combat and invasion teams. Overall consensus was that Sam’s trick with the portable environments was a rousing success and would be installed at each point determined to be most likely as a breach, with trigger conditions to be determined later. “I hate to say it,” Michael sighed, “but we also need Charly’s team to crank up the scovilles on the arrows and grenades.” His team had played the ‘invaders’ this go around, equipped with sensors and readouts to simulate the effect our defenses would have on the various species who most commonly were found on pirate vessels.  Evan had worked intensely with Pranav and Derek to ensure that the strategies provided by the readouts were modelled after similar strategies based on which ever species each team member was assigned, to ensure we weren’t accidentally drilling against human tactics.

Michael hated it, but he was strict about his team complying nonetheless.

“Seriously?” I squawked, and I wasn’t the only one. “One of those things accidentally went off in my quarters…. Can confirm, they’re pretty potent.”

“They dissipated too fast against my team, and also the contact element left a lot to be desired. Charly, you may want to consider adding a sticking element.”

“Duly noted,” she chimed in with a yawn, her normal pep doused by being woken up and then the drop in adrenaline post-combat.

“What about the sonic weapons?” Xiomara asked, moving the meeting along.

“Still less effective than Nixe is on her own,” a familiar voice I couldn’t put a name to responded with a sheepish tone.  “How hard would it be to train more people to shatter glass with their voice?”

“Incredibly,” Grey stressed. “It takes a very unique combination of training and the right vocal chords.”

“Then we may need to work on adding a projection component.  The sonic devices can match the pitch, but not the actual tone and direction. They’re very effective given time and especially contact, but we need something more immediately disabling.”

Xiomara groaned. “Are we back to Mariah Carey on this one?” Objections exploded until she muted the comms. “It’s that or opera.” Votes started scrolling up the screen, and I could see Xio nod. “Opera it is.  Let’s find a suitable piece and try using more analogue-style speakers.”

“I still say that death metal would work better,” Arthur suggested as soon as the comms were back on.

“Annnnd we already tested it, I will remind you. The volume works, but the pitches aren’t high enough to hit a broad enough population of species sensitive to sound.” After that nearly-obligatory objection, the meeting continued going through reports from each combat team until finally Xiomara announced the end results. “I have to admit, this was one of our best drills yet. Ten percent casualties of the combatants defending the breaches, only two percent among non-combatants, and the invaders were only able to traverse three decks before they were subdued.” She let the cheers go for a couple seconds before getting everyone’s attention again. “Yes, great job on the improvements, but let me remind everyone - those numbers still leave us below threshold for a healthy genetic population. Engineering teams, make the necessary adjustments with whatever resources are necessary. Shelters Three and Seven, you will start training for armed and unarmed combat with Shelter Fourteen and Combat Team Two daily.  Sophia, your team will coordinate schedules. Any questions?”

There were no arguments, not even a groan or mutter as the meeting was dismissed. Before I could even add the new task to my agenda the next day, I received the notification that Alistair had beaten me to the punch.

Glancing at the time, I wanted to hit something.  I had to be back up and at work in four hours, and the realization weighed me down with exhaustion.  The guys had come in and gone to bed while I was in the debrief, and I could already hear synchronized snoring coming from the bedroom.  Rather than risk waking them with my now-frozen feet, I pulled the quilt off the back of my couch and rolled myself into it.  Only minutes later, a heavy weight oozed across my hip and started purring furiously.

“Yeah, buddy. I agree. We need a nap.”

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[katierosefun]

i originally had a september wrap-up post queued but then tumblr fucking ate it, which made me very angry because i didn’t want to re-type the whole thing, but i’m procrastinating, so here i am, re-typing the whole thing of all the things i watched/consumed over the month of september, even if it’s a little late: (it’s fine, i didn’t watch a whole ton of stuff except...a lot of kdramas lmao. oh, and visions.) 

k-dramas: 

beyond evil 

okay, so i think this has been on my rec list for literally forever now, but...besties, i’m on my fifth watch of this goddamn show in the span of maybe two months, so if that doesn’t tell you how much this show has been a comfort/eating my brain lately, idk what will. 

i literally never shut up about this show, but if you’ve somehow been missing from my blog for a little bit, a quick summary: lee dong sik (played by the ever-wonderful shin ha kyun) was accused of murder + kidnapping a few young women, including his own twin sister 20 years ago. he’s lived a pretty quiet life on his own, and now 20 years later, his whole world is turned upside down again when hotshot new inspector han joo won (played by the talented yeo jin goo) comes into this little town. when the murders start up again, these two are thrown into a hellishly complex mystery. will throw you in for a hellish loop. i think my thoughts best summarize this show as come for the murder mystery, stay for whatever the hell joo won and dong sik have. 

okay, but all joking aside about how much i love joo won and dong sik (because...i truly do love them), this show was incredibly healing. once again: this show has quickly become a comfort show, basically to the point where i just watch it whenever i feel down (which happens to be a lot these days). idk man. humans aren’t meant to carry burdens on their own and all that stuff. sometimes u just need to remind yourself that. 

the crowned clown 

so, after watching beyond evil the fourth time, i realized that maybe i wanted to watch some of the actors’ other works. that was how i found myself watching the crowned clown, which...is an excellent kdrama now available on netflix (also on viki for free, just as beyond evil is). honestly, it’s been a hot second since i’ve watched historical dramas (saeguks), so i was a little unsure what to expect, but this show. bro. this show reminded me just how much i love historical dramas, because the court politics? the costumes? the music? the acting? fantastic. 

basically, this show is about the young clown (ie. performer) ha seon (played by yeo jin goo) who now has to replace the king, who might be like...two seconds away from snapping (if he hasn’t already). the reason they’re able to do this is because they look exactly identical despite not being related. 

this story is honestly wonderful. i loved it, and it’s an interesting way to look at the story behind the actual king (because. apparently this king was a real person, and i think his story has inspired quite a few other korean movies/shows). i thought yeo jin goo was brilliant in this show, and it’s really no surprise he became the youngest person ever nominated for a baeksang award because of this series. i was truly blown away by just how versatile he proved to be of an actor, and his dynamics with the other characters (the queen, the secretary being my fave, as well as the old eunuch jo), i just...bro. i’ll admit i wasn’t the biggest fan of the romance (don’t get me wrong! it was sweet!), but i think that might have been because this was so court politics heavy, and i adored it for that. if you’ve never watched a historical drama but want to and just don’t know where to start, i highly recommend this. 

d.p. 

bro....this show was dark. i watched it all in 2 days (pretty easy to do, considering it’s 6 episodes and maybe 40-50 minutes long per episode), and i needed to lie down. this is just one of those shows that i feel is...very important to watch, even if the content matter isn’t very bright. 

basically, dp is about two deserter pursuit officers: ahn jun ho (played by jung hae in) and han ho yul (played by koo kyo hwan). deserter pursuit officers are basically people who chase after people who deserted their military post--and for those who don’t know, being in the military is mandatory for men in south korea. this is the result of the armistice between the north and the south--basically, since north korea never agreed to an actual peace treaty, south korea is constantly under threat of war, which is why men need to serve at least a few years. (this is why a lot of actors + kpop band members often take breaks from their careers--to fulfill their military service time. because yup, even celebrities aren’t exempt from service!) 

anyways, this show really doesn’t pull back their punches. major trigger warnings for things like intense harrassment, suicide, domestic violence...it really does capture just how dark life can be, and also how toxic the military can be for men. because of that, i felt this show was incredibly well-crafted, incredibly nuanced, and in the end, i just felt sad. that said though, there was a hopeful ending, and i’m glad that this show was renewed for a second season, as i think this show is just...really important. 

squid game 

okay, so i don’t want to be that person, but your girl was watching squid game right after it came out, so i was here before the hype train--but okay, okay, i digress. (i am glad that this show is getting hype. i feel it’s very important that people watch this show.) 

if you haven’t noticed how squid game’s climbed to #1 on netflix worldwide (i think, anyways), well, then...buddy. squid game is about a bunch of people who have the chance to earn lots of money by playing what seems like innocent children’s games. (spoilers: they are far from innocent.) 

this show scarred me, to be honest. i needed to watch something lighthearted after this, just because it was so intense. lots of trigger warnings for blood and gore, as well as just. losing faith in humanity. but also, like dp, i felt this show was necessary. it was incredibly well-constructed in that it showed just what desperate people will do in order to survive, as well as exactly what a terrible capitalistic society will do to the working class. it’s depressing and sad, but also incredibly chilling because like. you can’t help but watch the characters and think, but would i do the same thing? i just want to pay off my own debt and take care of my family. wouldn’t i do the same thing? 

i won’t say more of this show for fear of spoilers, but. let me just say. that i really am glad this show exists. i hope people actually notice what the fuck it’s saying about our current system too, because hm, maybe i just want to suck the fun out of things, but there’s something very disturbing about how people are already cute-ifying this show (ie. “this is what i would wear to the squid games! :D” and “look at these squid-game inspired cookies! :D”, as if this show didn’t just deliver a heart-crushing message about capitalism + how the wealthy fuck over anyone who isn’t the 1% BUT ANYWAYS) 

tv 

star wars: visions 

lately i’ve been feeling weird about star wars for lots of different reasons which i don’t particularly feel like addressing today, but. visions really reminded me why i fell in love with star wars in the first place. i think for starters, well. it’s no surprise when i say that i felt an intense amount of joy of seeing east asian cultures so beautifully incorporated and respected in this show (no surprise seeing that this show was literally crafted by japanese anime studios), but like. it really was. a beautiful thing. i cried at least once per episode, either because i was so in awe of the animation and the themes or because i was just in awe that this thing exists. 

i think my favorite episode had to be the village bride--there was something so incredibly powerful about seeing someone who looked a bit like me say i am a jedi. what an iconic line. what an iconic story about a sad traumatized gal deciding to step up and fight, actually. peak star wars. 

but besides all that...i really did feel like...this show captured the beauty and essence of what makes star wars actually good. the themes of good versus evil, a lot of stuff between siblings (bro....the twins and lop and ocho FUCKED ME UP), choosing to have brighter and better days ahead (the village bride, the ninth jedi, the duel, tatooine rhapsody)...like, i really loved how each episode really took everything that was good about star wars and just turned it into something even more beautiful. this series will stay with me for a long time, i think--and i am very grateful for the people involved in this project for reminding me why i fell in love with this universe in the first place. :”)