#me sweating writing this reply: hey alex can you Stop or is that a No....

[invisibleraven]

Trauma asks

"Nightmares again?" - Gotta give the nightmares to Reggie with one or more of the other boys.

None of the Sunset Curve boys were very good sleepers, and between late night gigs followed by even later meals, their sleep schedules were well and truly fucked.

However, there were other issues at play-Alex's anxiety made it hard for him to fall asleep, and he usually slept pretty fitfully after that unless he took some Ativan. However he said the medicine gave him what he imagined might be a hangover if he took it before bed, and he would rather get less sleep than endure that torture again.

Luke had insomnia-his brain always whirring with new song lyrics and melodies that just had to get written, and well, he figured he could sleep when he was dead.

Bobby had always been a light sleeper-and it only got worse when his lola's health went downhill, with Bobby waking up every few hours to check on her because like hell was he calling a live in nurse.

But out of the four of them, they all knew Reggie had it worse. His sleep was plagued by nightmares-violent, hateful images and sounds would fill his mind, causing him to trash, moan, and eventually wake-heart pounding, covered in sweat, and unable to catch his breath.

It had terrified them the first time it happened, but now they knew how to deal with it, and always attempted to be better about talking to Reggie about it later.

Tonight for instance, Reggie almost looked like he was in pain, but they knew waking him up was never the answer-he had decked Bobby in the jaw last time, and he wasn't keen on a repeat.

Reggie finally leapt up-eyes scanning the room, like he was looking for his tormentor-or an escape.

Luke was the first one in, wrapping the shivering boy in his arms. "Hey Reg, it's okay. You're safe."

Reggie inhaled shakily, but then Alex laid a broad hand across his back, guinging his breathing with quiet words and reassuring touch.

"Nightmares again?" Bobby asked, handing him a cup of camomile tea-he couldn't stand the stuff, but his lola instead it always helped her sleep troubles.

Reggie nodded, graciously taking the cup,sipping slowly as the warm porcelain gave him back the feeling in his fingers. "I don't wanna talk about it, or write it down or anything," Reggie assured them, taking another big sip of tea.

"What do you wanna do then?" Luke asked.

"No playing music-lola can't afford another fine for disturbing the peace," Bobby cautioned.

"We could go to the 24 hour arcade," Alex suggested.

"You just wanna go because Willie is working the concessions," Reggie teased, earning a pillow to the face for his jest.

"Is there anything we can do?" Luke asked, still holding tight to Reggie, ignoring how Reggie shivered when his breath blew across his neck. Or how dim his freckles were in this low light.

"Just be here, that's all I need," Reggie replied.

"Gag me with a spoon," Bobby stated. "I'm going in to go to bed-any takers for the guest room?"

Luke and Alex exchanged glances-they both usually fought over this privilege, but Luke wasn't leaving Reggie's side, and the bed wouldn't fit them both.

"Lex can have it," Luke stated. "We're gonna try to catch some shut eye now too."

"We are?" Reggie asked, all innocence and beautiful.

"Sure we are babe-you need rest after that nightmare, and I am actually feeling tired."

Bobby and Alex waved goodbye, leaving them in fairy lights glow.

"You sure you don't want to talk about it?" Luke asked.

"As long as you don't laugh, or stop being my friend afterwards."

"Never," Luke assured him.

So Reggie talked-about his dreams, being chased my a giant who seemed to hate him. He couldn't speak without being muffled, couldn't move without enduring her searching eye, and always felt like he was being torn inside out.

Luke held him tight through all this-what were best friends for? But even that wouldn't stop Reggie's shivering.

So he did was he did best-he sang. A lilting love ballad he had written eons ago and never shared with any of them. It seemed more his colours and style anyways.

But to Reggie, the song was a lullabye, luring hito sleep, and he really didn't mind that he was liking this so much. It made him feel secure, and loved.

Luke was making him feel this way. Sure, he knew he found Luke super hot, but there was no way forward-the band came first, last, and everywhere in between.

But he could fall asleep-slowly letting his eyes close, his breathing even, and bit back a sleepy smile when Luke added words to the song he was writing.

"Sounds great," Reggie slurred.

"Go to sleep, we can workshop it in the morning. It's a song-it's not going anywhere."

Reggie reached up and touched Luke's forehead. "No fever. Okay, who is this person and what have you done with Luke?"

Luke snorted, shifting them further down the sofa bed, and kept humming-sure that this could help Reggie finally enter Dream Land instead of Nightmare Alley.

And maybe Luke fell asleep there holding him. Wondering if they could play hookey just this once.

Because sleeping like this here with Reggie? Ws something akin to a dream come true.

[malvidia]

nonverbal memes.   /   @magiktouched​

    he knows that in his imagined paradise, she'd have no place in it.     someone as kind as her, as   sweet   as her   --     restraining her to that existence with him would be her hell.         it's for that reason that he kept her at an arm's length.       the thought of touching her   seared   at his nerves     ;     speaking to her was enough to make his lungs burn, and when he finally did part his lips, all that came out was smog and nonsense.     (     and he couldn't explain it, no matter how much he tried. just what this feeling was that she gave him, the one that ate him   alive.     )     he'd never imagined that she owuld be the one crossing the line so often   --   as if the barbed wire he'd laid there didn't tear at her skin, slice at her fingertips, make her   ...   make her   ---   he couldn't handle it, the thought of her bleeding made him sick.                                              so why   ...   of all the things she could do, why this     ? he knows it will be painful, an agonizing death   surely.     hydra poison is a special brand of horrendous   ;   but he's equipped to handle it, even in the surprise of its appearance, he knows he can take it.     he'll scream and he'll cry and he'll   beg   to be let go for once in his life   ---   to finally be let free.     but he can take it, again,   all over again.   even as he stands there, gazing up at its maw, he knows it's a fate he's willing to take once more.                  of course, the one thing he never accounts for, is that someone else would be willing. it's for that reason, when he hears a thud in his ear, he simply expects it to be that he's been slapped aside by the creatures' powerful frame.     he expects pain any moment, when he opens his eyes   -   searing, boiling,   burning.         but all he sees is her.     so sweet, so   kind   --   and so very red.       she' breathing, yes, he can tell, he can tell as he staggers towards her and clutches her face in his palms.     he can tell, as her red fills his fingertips   --   but he can't see, no, he can't see anything but that horrible,   horrible   color.                  ❝     y   ---   ume   .   .   .     ❞     isn't this a reason, boy   ?                                   ❝     yu   -   meko   ...     ❞     a reason to have   HOPE   ?

                  ❝     if it's y - you, if it's you   ---   i   ...   !!     ❞     (     will be the very definition of horrifying if it means saving you.     )     ❝     i   ---     ❞     the hands that release her to lay her across the ground as he stands cannot be his, he rationalizes.     they cannot be his own as he grabs the creature by its maw   ;   as he peels its skin from its cheeks and down across its large frame.     they   can't   be his as it screeches and   cries   as he drives his knife into its skull, full of her blood and its own septic purple blood   ;   as it burns through the flesh that he wipes across on the ground.       only then, when they've been ripped to the bone, can he see them as his own   ---   only then, as he   lifts   her back into his arms, and he can see his fingertips through the black of her hair, does he recognize them as his own.       only then   -   when they are back to where   she   is.     ❝     i can't take this anymore   ---     ❞     she's still breathing, even as he clutches her against his frame   ;   tighter and tighter.                                          ❝     i think ya' might jus' finally be the one ta' kill   me .     ❞     for that reason, he'd do it all over again.   as many times as it'd take.   even in his imagined utopia without her.

[fabricated-misslieness]

pairing: bokuto, iwaizumi, kageyama, kuroo, miya twins, and ushijima x shorter manager male reader

req: yes | cw: suggestive | 16+

alex: MOST OF THE TALL THIGH GUYS IN HAIKYUU SIMP FOR THE SHORTER MALE MANAGER AFTER THEY FOUND OUT HE LIKES BIG THIGHS(and tits and all that) WHILE THEY TRY TO MAKE THEIRS LOOK BIG AND JUICY????

hcs of tall boys simping for a shorter manager because they like thicc body parts

a/n: i didn’t mention this because i did want to write it, but alex, reqs were closed. unless you suggested this for 1.5k, in which case, just why?

Introduction

A volleyball training camp consisting of some of Japan’s most prominent high schools. Chaotic, right?

Well, many schools came: Aoba Johsai, Fukurodani, Nekoma, Inarizaki, Itachiyama, and Shiratorizawa.

These training camps often led to the teams’ managers getting to know each other better and bonding. And as Itachiyama’s manager, even if most of them were girls, you were no exception.

Which meant, while all the managers collectively did their manager duties like refilling water bottles, you talked.

And, for some reason, the topic of boys came along and what ‘type’ of boy they liked.

You see, the girls were nice. They looked for personalities, rather than body parts - most of them anyway.

You on the other hand, well, you loved thick boys.

Prominent man boobs, thick thighs, fat asses.

“Is that… why you became a manager?”

“Is that why you don’t hand out towels?”

Unbeknownst to you, and the girls, a few people were eavesdropping on you.

 

Bokuto

“I’d say that fits your description, right Bokuto?” Konoha playfully elbowed him on the chest, but the ace wasn’t paying attention. “Eh, Bokutooo? You there?”

He was not, in fact, there.

He really had no plan to charm you at all. If he already had these traits, surely your eyes would drift off to him, right?

But obviously, he subconsciously starts showing off more when you’re watching his match.

He starts glancing at you every time he scores a point. Slowly, glances turn into looks that ask for praise, like a puppy; and then looks turn into verbal “Did you see that (y/n)?!”

You don’t know when or why he started fixating on you, but you certainly weren’t complaining.

Thanks to your praise, Bokuto slowly starts getting more comfortable around you. Then, one day after he scores the game winning point, he runs over to you.

Before you know it, he’s pulled you into a hug.

“WOO (Y/N), DID YOU SEE THAT?!”

But you don’t reply, because 1) you can’t with your face smushed against man boobies, and 2) this is heaven.

Bokuto’s confused, of course, until he realizes your hands on his thighs.

He only laughs it off, until Komori comes. Behind the libero is a possessive looking Sakusa and a scary Iizuna. Komori’s about to spew some protective comment like, “hands of our manager” but you stop him.

The will to stay in this bear hug is stronger than the boobies giving you an inability to speak. “Let me have this, Komori.”

“Ah, right, you like this kind of stuff.” The libero laughs, slowly nudging Sakusa and Iizuna away. 

“What’s this kind of stuff?”

“You, hot stuff.”

 

Iwaizumi

“Iwa-chan, you’re not gonna leave me for him, righ-?”

“Shut up, Oikawa.”

It starts off subtle, wiping off sweat from his face with the bottom of his shirt and making sure to expose his pecs. Though such a thing works when there’s no other thicc boy in the room.

Then he starts stretching more often, particularly his legs.

Sometimes, on particularly hot days, he rolls his shorts even higher up his thigh.

Slowly, as you start to talk more often, he does the same things while you’re hanging out relatively alone.

“Hajime.” 

“Hm?” He stops his stretching, looking at you curiously. You lick your lips, your gaze looking at his thighs.

“Keep stretching.”

He obeys. His thighs flex and stiffen, the stretching starts getting painful, but he doesn’t stop because he knows you like it. When you press a hand against his thigh, he lets out a low groan.

“Fuck, Hajime.”

Finally, he knows you’re absolutely enamoured with his body.

 

Kageyama

“None of us fit that description.”

“Shut up, boke.”

“I mean...you fit that description?”

Each time he knows his gaze is on you, as he’s in the back line ready to receive a serve, he sticks out his ass just that little bit more. Along with tensing his thighs.

Sometimes he drags Hinata to receive his serves somewhere within your vicinity. When Hinata receives it and sends it back to him, he doesn’t catch it. Instead, he lets it fall so that you can watch him bend over to grab it.

He might even shake his ass a little.

One time, when something accidentally falls out of his hands, you confront him.

“Tobio, you’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?”

“Doing what?” He looks at you through his lashes - up for once, booty out and still bending over. Then he has the audacity to shake his bubble butt.

He smiles when you let out a frustrated groan. “That.”

“I still don’t know what you’re referring to.”

 

Kuroo

“Ha, that sorta fits Kuroo. Wait, Kuroo, are you-?”

“Yes, absolutely, yes.”

You know that extremely flexible receive? Yeah? Expect to see that a lot.

It shows off his ass and thighs and just- umph im such a simp

Unlike most others, he’s much more forward about it than others. He won’t outright say it, granted, but he’ll be more touchy with you.

One second, his arm is wrapped around your shoulder. The next, he’s pulled the back of your head to one of his pecs. 

When your team spots this, they rush over to get him to stop. At the forefront of the group is Iizuna. “Hands off our manager.”

Before you can say anything, Kuroo speaks up, “Last time I checked, (y/n)’s his own person. Besides, he enjoy this, right?”

“Yeah.” You don’t defend yourself from Iizuna, because hell, the captain banter is entertainment.

The two captains glare at each other with their competitive yet polite looks. Eventually, Iizuna falters. He can’t argue with you saying you like it, nor does he have the comebacks in him to talk to the ‘provocative expert’.

 

Atsumu Miya

The twins stare at each other, glaring as they usually do. “Dibs.” Atsumu says, and Osamu can’t deny that. It seems he’s missed out on you.

Just like Kuroo, Atsumu is forward.

He is also impatient, so if you don’t catch on the first few times, he’s just going to blur it out.

And that is exactly what happens.

Each time he tries to get your attention, he fails. A subtle wink sent your way, a flex of his bicep, bending and holding on to his knees after a loss penalty, none of them seem to alert you. They don’t, because he’s dumb and doesn’t think to show off the qualities that you like as much as the qualities that he’s confident in.

Which is why he’s here, in front of you while you take a break on the bleachers.

“Miya-san? Don’t you have a game?” You glance down at the court, seeing the rest of Inarizaki playing. They certainly aren’t at their best without their genius setter.

“I like you.”

Your raised eyebrow only taunts him, “And what brought this upon-”

“I know you like me.” He sits next to you, slinging his thighs over your lap. “Don’t you like these thighs?”

“I guess I do, ‘Tsumu.”

 

Osamu Miya

The twins stare at each other, glaring as they usually do. “Dibs.” Osamu calls. Even if Atsumu grumbles and kicks at the ground because he’s missed the opportunity, he can’t deny the power of dibs.

He’s much better at this than Atsumu is. He’s more patient and has no problem with playing the long game.

However, he doesn’t; because unlike Atsumu, he accentuates his qualities that you like.

He pulls up the bottom of his shirt to wipe his face, rolls up his shorts quite high, and generally does things that always have your eyes on his thighs, pecs, or ass.

He’s taunting you, silently telling you to come to him, so that’s what you do.

The next time you find him panting from a run, ass out and bent over, you confront him. Conveniently enough, he’s away from other people.

You make your presence known by putting a hand half on his ass, half on his thigh.

“Oh, heeey, (y/n).” He gives you an all-knowing look, paired with lazy half lidded eyes.

“You know why I’m here, don’t you, ‘Samu?”

“Obviously.”

 

Ushijima Wakatoshi

“I like thick men, the ones with prominent pecs, thick thighs, and bubble butts.”

Sure, he heard it. Sure, he processed it. But did he think about it afterwards? No. Did he connect the dots? No.

In fact, you’re the one attracted to him.

Ushijima is that one oblivious yet extremely suggestive individual. He does squats after practice, thigh-accentuating stretches, bends over without a single thought, this man is blatantly sexy.

You have to keep yourself from doing anything indecent.

So, it’s quite obvious you like him. Anytime he’s in the room, you’re staring at him. As such, Sakusa takes notice, and boy is he disgusted.

“(y/n), please don’t like him.”

Why? He didn’t want to let you date him, it’d turn you into a reminder of one of his most formidable opponents.

“Sakusa, I can’t help it.”

Welp, he’s doomed.

“(y/n), hey.” You’d never really interacted before you approached him. He noticed that you always looked at him, but he didn’t really think about it, nor did he think about why you did it. There were more important things to focus on.

“I like you.”

“Huh?”

He’s so dense, so oblivious, gosh. Good luck with him.

[skinsharpenedteeth]

A Small Piece of Domesticity

I thought of this little Malex scene the other day while I was doing a long drive home from work and it's sickeningly sweet. Hope you like diabetes suckers cause this scene is brought to you by the Sugar and Sacchrine devision of SkinSharpenedTeeth Co. Enjoy!

(Also readable on Ao3 bc of course it is)

--

Most of the time, Alex Manes kept his house reasonably clean. Military life had given him an appreciation for clutterless countertops and losing half a leg had driven in a need to keep all pathways clear so when Michael let himself into Alex’s house to find pieces of clothing strewn in a line towards the bedroom, he was allowed to feel mildly alarmed. His alarm turned to amusement as he followed the trail to find Alex perfectly fine and dead-to-the-world asleep. It wasn’t often that Michael could sneak up on Alex and observe him without him getting flustered and inventing a reason to make Michael stop looking. So now that he had the time, Michael took his fill for a moment. He could tell Alex had probably had a bad day by how quickly he’d stripped, just to lay spread eagle across the bed on his back with his noise-canceling headphones on. Michael could see that his hair was damp from a shower and he’d only gotten dressed in a pair of black boxer-briefs and an undershirt. The tower fan they kept in the room was whirring steadily from the side of the bed, directly across Alex’s body. It’d been hot outside that day, a sweltering August day in the desert, and now the sun was setting, but Michael could still feel the baked warmth of the outer walls radiating inward.

Michael decided he’d leave Alex alone so he could shower his own long, hot day off. Feeling incredibly soft towards the man on the bed, Michael turned and made his way into the bathroom, picking up Alex’s discarded clothes out of the hall as he went, and stuffing them into the hamper before continuing with his own ablutions. As he washed, he tried to concentrate on figuring out dinner and what he needed to do before work tomorrow, but his mind kept wandering back to Alex laid out on the bed like an offering. Shutting off the water, Michael got out of the shower and hastily toweled his hair and body. Finished, he wrapped his towel around his hips and went back into the bedroom. Alex was in the same position as before, arms still spread wide, legs splayed over the cover, eyes closed and dark red headphones still in place.

Michael walked into the room, noting how the orange glow of the setting sun looked against Alex’s skin, and went to stand at the end of the bed. Leaning over, he placed his hands on Alex’s warm, naked thighs and squeezed them lightly to wake Alex up. Alex’s eyes opened and he zeroed in on Michael. Michael smiled up at him and then felt his insides explode with happiness as Alex smiled softly back at him. Alex reached up and pulled his headphones off his head, pushing them over onto the pillow next to him.

“Hey,” he croaked, before clearing his throat and speaking again in a clearer voice. “Hey.”

“Hey yourself,” Michael answered, smirking up at him. He rubbed his hands up and down the firm muscles of Alex’s legs before continuing. “Can anyone join this no-pants party?”

“It’s not really a party unless there’s more than one person,” Alex retorted, half crunching up and reaching down to beckon Michael up to him. Michael loosened his towel and let it fall to the floor before he crawled onto the mattress between Alex’s legs. He could feel Alex’s eyes roving over him, but Michael kept his eyes on where his hands were pushing up the length of Alex’s body. Michael pushed up Alex’s shirt to expose his stomach and immediately nosed the center crease of his abs, inhaling a familiar smell that made his own stomach clench in appreciation.

“Mmm, you used my soap,” Michael commented before laying an open-mouthed kiss above the waistband of Alex’s underwear. One of Alex’s hands combed through Michael’s half-dried curls as he hummed in agreement. Michael pressed up into the pressure of Alex’s hand for a moment before curling his fingers under Alex’s waistband and pulling it further down so he could kiss into the valleys that led from Alex’s hips to where Michael really wanted his mouth to be.

“Yeah, I ran out. I need to buy some more,” Alex replied, voice breathy and distracted. Michael glanced up to see his gaze solely focused on where Michael’s lips hovered over his skin. When he caught Michael watching him, Alex tugged gently at his hair and pulled him up until they could share a kiss. It was like honey and fire between them. Alex cupped the back of Michael’s neck, massaging the sore muscles, while his free hand roamed over all the naked skin at his disposal. Michael hummed in pleasure and settled himself half on top of Alex’s body, enjoying the contrast between where his clothes separated their skin and where it did not.

“How was your day?” Michael asked when they parted for air. He laid his head close to Alex’s, sharing his pillow and letting his fingers trace indistinct patterns across the still exposed skin of Alex’s hip and stomach. Alex shut his eyes as if he needed to stop looking at Michael to put his words in the correct order to answer.

“Long. The a/c in the Explorer needs to be recharged. Reyes had me do some field work today testing a couple hypotheses on the Lockhart Machine and it involved a lot of sweating and standing in the sun. So when I got home I was dirty and caked in salt and tired. My leg was killing me. I took a shower and some pain meds and then laid down. What time is it?” Alex asked, starting to lift up to look over at the bedside clock. Michael stilled him with a hand to his chest.

“It’s around seven. That sound miserable. Do you work tomorrow?” Michael asked, bringing Alex’s attention back to himself and relishing the feeling of Alex’s body relaxing under him again.

“Yeah, we gotta finish up the experiments and I have to write some reports. Shouldn’t be as bad as today,” Alex replied easily. The hand that had been resting on Michael’s neck moved fluidly up into his hair, combing through the damp curls and making Michael feel like a well-treated house pet.

“Take the truck. I’ll take the Explorer into the shop and recharge the A/C,” Michael offered, eyes sliding shut at the continued sensation of Alex’s hand sliding through his hair. He shifted his head closer to Alex’s shoulder so his chin could touch the warm cotton of his shirt. They laid like that, silent for a few minutes, fingers and hands slow, but restless against each other; taking and sharing comfort in the primary language between them.

“Let’s order dinner. The idea of moving right now sucks.” Alex’s voice reached Michael from what seemed like further away, and he realized that he’d started to fall asleep. He shifted his body infinitesimally closer to Alex’s, hand hugging his waist, foot snaking under Alex’s calf to twist their legs further together, and face positioned close enough to nuzzle and kiss the soft, sensitive skin under Alex’s ear.

“Sounds good. I don’t want to move either,” Michael replied. He could feel the tension in Alex’s body rise as he spoke, the smoldering fire between them heating up and threatening to burst back into flame if Michael pressed it. Alex had said he’d taken his pain pills though, and Michael had learned that meant that parts of Alex weren’t likely to fully participate if he started something between them. He didn’t want to tease Alex like that, but he also couldn’t deny enjoying the way Alex’s grip changed against his skin when he placed seemingly innocent kisses against his neck, making sure the stubble on his chin scratched against Alex as his lips moved.

“You’re a filthy tease,” Alex accused from above him, fingers digging into Michael’s hair and tugging reprovingly. Michael smiled and moved his face away from Alex’s neck so he could grin full in Alex’s face.

“You like it,” he retorted. Alex was grinning back at him. He lifted his head to press their lips together, wringing a devastating kiss from Michael before keeping him from chasing as he pulled away.

“I love it. I love you,” Alex replied, easily. As if it had always been easy to say to Michael how much he loved him. Michael sighed and rested his head back on the pillow beside Alex’s head.

“I love you, too. Let’s order Chinese,” he offered. And that was that. They were back to smoldering and domesticity. They didn’t have to desperately cling to every trace of affection and attraction anymore because it was always there, under the surface, ready for them. There was no fear of losing it because of an unguarded word or action. They were home for each other.

[oneshotnewbie]

I hope you feel much better today! Since I follow you since beginning and you mentioned many times that your try to get through the trauma of hospitals, would you want to try write your story and what happened to you this time? It is totally okay if not, I understand. I just thought maybe then you will feel better?

A/N: This was.. harder than I thought. --- It was three o'clock in the morning when you woke up in your bed, bathed in sweat and immediately gasped for air. Your chest burned, the pulling and the unbearable pain beamed into your back. You tried to calm down from the anxiety that chased through your body and sit up a little more upright.

The day before you weren't feeling well, you couldn't describe exactly how. You went for a walk in the morning, which was usually nothing special, but your pulse shot up from one second to another, dizziness overflowed you and your legs gave up. You could make it home only with a lot of effort.

When you got home, you called your family doctor who called you to the practice as an emergency and you made yourself on the way. In the meantime you felt better, but your heart was still racing.

When you got to him, you passed out in the middle of the waiting room and woke up a few minutes later on the stretcher in the laboratory of the office. A good friend of Alex, who worked there, sat next to you and observed your heart rate with an electrocardiography while waiting for the doctor.

However, the results were inconspicuous; your sinus line was good and nothing special was to be seen in it. With the words, "a heart rate over 140bpm in a lying position, a young heart like yours can cope with. You will still have your blood drawn to be sure." he said goodbye and you came home with great difficulty where you immediately went to bed and spent the day.

You hadn't told your sisters anything.

And now you were here; again and again you tried to catch your breath, but almost nothing came through and every little movement of your chest in an attempt to breathe burned as if you swallowed fire.

With a lot of effort you made it to Kara's bedroom and sat down on her bed while gently shaking her shoulder to wake her up.

She was shocked when she opened her eyes and saw only one figure in the darkness before she switched on the lamp on her bedside table at lightning speed and looked into your panicked, tear-smeared face. "Y/N, what happened?"

But you couldn't answer properly, instead you put both hands around your neck and chest before tapping it several times, hoping to show her what was going on while gasping for breath.

Her blanket, which she had previously over her, flew to the side with a swing and she was on her way down to the floor where she knelt down and looked at you. She closed her eyes and concentrated on your heartbeat, which was above her norm, tripping every now and then and making her startle in panic.

"I will call the ambulance and Alex. I won't fly you there alone, that would be too dangerous in your condition." she said, stood up and fumbled with her hand on her desk while she kept her eyes on you and tried to position you with her other free hand on her bed so that your upper body was leaning against the head of the bed.

"I can't breathe, Kara." you whispered and started crying again. You were overwhelmed by the whole situation and the fear within you as to why this was all happening didn't make the whole situation any easier. "It's burning."

"Your chest?" she asked with raised eyebrows and wide eyes while she had her phone clamped to her ear and was pacing up and down. You just nodded and closed your eyes to calm down. "Hey, stay up, honey. You can't fall asleep now, all right?"

"Okay."

You watched the blonde while she spoke to the emergency call center and told them everything she knew. Almost overwhelmed with the situation as you, she shouted into the phone that an ambulance should be sent immediately and then hung up to inform the oldest Danvers what was happening.

She also told her everything in cure form and asked her to wait for the two of them in the hospital. She threw her cell phone on the bed and sat on the edge of the bed next to you while she took your hands in hers and just looked at you.

There were tears in her eyes by now. "Just stay awake okay? It'll be all right."

"I am not tired." you replied and put your head back on her pillow. "It doesn't matter. Just stay awake and look at me."

The minutes in which you waited for the ambulance felt like hours in which you lay half in her arms and cried bitterly, still barely breathing, completely panicked and overwhelmed by the situation. When Kara finally left you to give the emergency doctor access, you closed your eyes to calm yourself down in some way, help was already there.

After a few questions from the paramedics and an EKG that showed no signs of any deficiencies in your heart, they still took you to the hospital to do more tests to make sure nothing is really wrong.

---

"Baby, what happened?" the redhead asked in shock when you entered the door of your room in a wheelchair and with a nurse, your eldest sister already waiting longingly for you. "Give me a minute." you talked without real breath in your lungs and tired from the night.

You had spent the night in the emergency room with a blood pressure machine that painfully squeezed your arm every half hour and various cables that monitored you, a nice lady who took blood from you every other hour and next to an elderly lady who was so annoying that you could hardly close your eyes and sleep.

"Couldn't breathe, chest was burning, dizzy and hot." you stopped every little sentence, the air that got through your nose through an air cannula from an oxygen tank didn't help much either.

Alex thanked the nurse and took over to lay you sensibly and carefully in bed, cover you up to make everything as comfortable as you needed it to be. She had also given you water in a glass and put it to your lips, she could see that you were trembling and possibly couldn't hold the glass by yourself. However, you refused all food and water, your appetite and the desire for water was nonexistent. "And what did the doctors say?"

"Heart is okay, they think it comes from the stomach or the spine."

"Thank god." she folded her hands in front of her body in prayer and sat down next to you on the bed, holding you lightly in her arms. "You don't even know what a terribly fear you made us."

"You won't get rid of me that quickly," you smiled and started coughing, hoping to get more air. "Where is Kara?"

"She went to change and wanted to get something to eat. She was so worried to leave the hospital without you or any kind of information that she was in her pajamas until just an hour ago." she laughed and dragged you with her into a laugh. "I had to force her to getting changed. Force Supergirl to do something that she doesn't want to do is.."

"Life threatening." you finished her sentence and tired snuggled closer to her while waiting for your other sister to come and push your mood a little bit up.

With Alex and Kara, every crisis could be overcome and they always helped you through everything.

You were strong together.

[blush-and-books]

she lives in daydreams with me

3+1 in which julie’s daydreaming spreads to luke, too. title and inspiration from she by harry styles. 

a gift for my fellow fantoms on this beautiful clowngate.

a/n: this isn’t meant to be tied to/inspired by blissful reveries by noblealice on ao3, but it’s a great fic that i love and it’s a julie daydream fic so i may as well link it because you should check it out!!! 

Luke noticed that sometimes, Julie would completely zone out. 

It wasn’t often that she did it around him, but while she would try and study her pencil would be moving on the paper but her eyes would not be focused. Or when she would be washing the dishes, a faint humming could be heard under her breath as her hands mindlessly rinsed the plates and placed them into the dishwasher. 

“They’re daydreams,” she whispers into the nearly pitch-black garage one night when they stay up, despite their exhaustion, just to be with each other. “I had them a little when I was a kid. It was how I got inspiration for a lot of songs.”

Julie’s voice raises to a higher pitch at the end of her sentence. It’s a familiar sound to Luke, now -- most of her little vocal cues are -- so he turns on the floor to face where she’s lying on the couch, and brings his hand up to her bare ankle.

“They’re musical?”

“They were, and then… They weren’t. I daydreamed a lot after my mom, but it was mostly her walking through the front door like she never left.”

He doesn’t have to say anything. He just needs to be there.”

“And then,” Julie continues, “after I met you, the music came back.”

His heart skips a beat. He knows she meant “you” as in him and Reggie and Alex, them as a collective unit; but it’s a fun little dream of his own for her to just be thinking of him. 

Lightly, his thumb skates across her skin. “I’m glad. If anyone should have music in their life, it’s you, Julie.”

“Do you ever daydream?” Her voice is quiet. She’s probably falling asleep.

There’s no reply. So it’s just the two of them, in the dark, with his hand attached to her because now that he can feel her like this he doesn’t want to stop until he has to. His hand is just barely on her ankle, but with every trace of his fingers back and forth along the curve he marvels at his ability to do it in the first place. 

A smile pops at the corners of Luke’s lips. “Not really,” he tells her. “If I did… They probably wouldn’t be musical, like yours.”

“Then what would you do?”

He stares, fixed, at his hand on her leg. 

“The stuff I want to do, but can’t.”

nine in the morning, a man drops his kids off at school; and he’s thinking of you (like all of us do)

It’s a few days later when Luke realizes that something is off. 

A simple Wednesday morning, when Julie darts into the garage before school with her backpack bouncing on her back as she runs up to each of them for a hug. Luke is the final recipient. 

He enthusiastically throws his arms around her just as tightly as he does every morning, because in his heart, he wishes she could just stay. It’s ridiculous, and selfish, but he longs for the ability to lay on the torn old couch with Julie at his side and never have to leave. 

“Writing when I come back?” 

Her eyes are gazing up at him, round and wide and hopeful as her arms stay latched around his neck. Safely, he keeps his hands at her hips and doesn’t allow himself to consider letting them go anywhere else. 

“Won’t you have homework?”

She rolls her eyes. “Yes, but I also have a song I want to work on and I won’t be able to focus until we finish it.”

Ironically, it sounds like one of the excuses he would give his parents long ago. Once the music was out of his head, he would tell them, then he could focus on homework. 

(He didn’t.)

“You’re turning into me,” he jokes at her; to which she laughs with a bright and beautiful smile right in front of his face. His eyes can’t help but slip their focus to it. “Music before school? What happened to your dad saying ‘school first?’”

“I’ll tell him I’m going to the garage for peace and quiet.”

God, she’s making this harder and harder. For months, she was the one scolding him about her need to focus on school; and so he trained himself to come across as (marginally) less eager. But now that she’s bouncing on her tiptoes and her head is lifting right in front of his face as she teases fibbing to her dad to write with him, he doesn’t think he has much restraint left. 

“How about…” He begins, trying to find something neutral to say. “How about you see how much homework you get and then decide what you want to do first?”

“Since when did you-”

The sound of Ray honking for Julie to come out ends their back-and-forth. It Luke looks close enough -- which he is, because why would he have anything better to do right now than look at Julie -- he can see her disappointment. “Go on, Boss. Your ride’s waiting. I’ll see you after school.”

Carefully, she slips from his arms and wishes them a final goodbye before hustling out of the garage. 

And Luke collapses onto the couch the second she’s gone. 

“You okay, man?”

“He’s fine, Reg. Just an idiot.”

Luke’s arm, that was covering his face, slides up so that he can glare at Alex. “Hey! Rude. Why am I an idiot?”

“Because all you do is agonize over Julie instead of talking to her.”

His forearm comes back down, blacking out his vision. “No point.”

Moments of quiet pass between the three boys, and eventually, the telltale sound of his bandmates poofing out of the room is faintly heard. Luke is left alone, on the couch. 

He doesn’t know how much time passes where he sits in his self-made darkness before the garage door is opening again, and Julie is standing in the doorway, looking adrenaline-rushed and practically glowing. Luke, being Luke, jumps up from the couch in surprise.

“Julie! Hey, uh… What are you doing here? Didn’t you leave for school?”

Her grin is almost fake, it’s so blinding. “I forgot something.”

Unprompted and unexpectedly, Julie is confidently making her way towards him before softly resting her hands on his jaw and pulling his lips down to hers.

Even through his all-encompassing shock, his hands somehow find their way to her waist, and then her back, and then her hair. She’s pulling him down to her, so he’s kind of uncomfortably arched over her but he doesn’t care one bit. Just the same as this morning, she is pressed against him from head to toe but this feels so much better. 

He’s trying to keep it slow and soft so that he can savor every moment of this random, welcomed action; but Julie’s asking for a quicker tempo. Her hands are skating across his shoulders and running up to his hair, pulling him down even farther, and he finds himself grasping at her thighs to lift her up and make things more comfortable but she’s pulling away before he can. 

Once they part, she shyly takes her bottom lip between her teeth and Luke almost steals her away and begs for more. “That was it,”  she mumbles, and then the car horn is echoing out front again, and-

Luke shakes awake.

--

he takes a boat out, imagines just sailing away (and not telling his mates)

He knows it’s a daydream almost immediately -- a long period of staring at a blank journal can do that to a guy -- when Julie suddenly appears and dangles car keys in front of him. 

She’s only just got her permit. She can’t actually drive independently yet. 

But he’s spent time on more than one occasion considering what they can go do together when she can.

“You ready for a break, Rockstar?” She asks with a coy smile, and it’s just more confirmation that it’s a fantasy. Julie has only ever called him “Rockstar” once. 

But he already likes where his imagination is taking him, so he puts the journal on the coffee table and poofs over to her. “Born ready.” 

Her hand tangles itself in his, and she enthusiastically tugs him from the studio into the sunny daylight where her dad’s car sits in the driveway. “Carlos and Dad and Tia are at a baseball game,” she grins, almost proudly, “so you and I get to have an adventure.”

God, this really is a dream. Julie isn’t as impulsive as he can be, but he occasionally finds himself wanting at the idea of going MIA for a day. Just a day. Less than 24 hours, even, with Julie by his side and nobody around who knows them or their situation. Julie and Luke against the world, against life and death, and whatever comes next. 

“Lead the way, Boss.”

Nearly within the blink of an eye, they’re on the PCH, speeding down the asphalt with loud music blaring from the speakers. With the windows rolled down and the humid but fresh air billowing around them in the car, it was all too easy for Luke to imagine that he was…

Alive.

This should have been them in 1995 -- him and Julie, him and the boys, all of them together and feeling the rush of being a group of stupid teenagers who love each other. 

He knows his hair is getting ruffled as he tilts his head back against the leather headrest, closing his eyes to directly face the air blowing into him. Maybe, through this dream, just for a moment, he can be human. 

“This is so fun!” Julie screams next to him, and his face just breaks into a grin because it is so fun. She sounds so full of joy. It’s his favorite sound.

While a part of him wants to hold the daydream in this moment, with the sun hitting his legs and Julie’s hair chaotically whirling around her head; he decides to let things keep going. A moment later, they are pulling into a nearly empty parking lot on the beach. 

Their seatbelts click and slide from their chests. Julie’s hand firmly latches around his wrist and proceeds to sprint with him laughing hysterically as he trails behind her, the ocean shimmering in the distance. The moment that their feet splash in the saltwater, Luke takes the chance to pull Julie into his arms by her waist and lift her up; droplets popping up from the water in a cyclone of laughter.

There’s already sweat layering both of their foreheads, but Luke feels honored that he’s standing close enough to her to be able to see it.

Hours -- or, what he assumes are hours -- pass by with water lapping their legs and Luke licking the salt from her shoulder in a move that started as a joke but was really just another ridiculous fantasy fulfilled. After he tries to splash her particularly roughly, she squeals and turns away; turning back to reveal a dripping wet face behind a curtain of hair.

Even though there’s a glare in her eyes, it’s playful. And she doesn’t fight him when he walks up to her, lifts the hem of his loose-fitting tank, and swipes across her cheeks to catch most of it.

The blush on her cheeks could be blamed on excessive sun, or the affectionate gesture, or-

“Luke?”

It takes less than a second for Luke to be back in the studio, back in front of the blank page, back in his reality. 

And Julie is in the doorway. 

Her cheeks aren’t  pink, her legs aren’t bare, her skin isn’t sweat and seawater sticky. It was just a regular school day for her. 

She still glows.

“Luke?” He hears her say again, and it’s the final nail in his coffin. 

“Yeah, sorry. I was zoning out there for a sec.”

Her curious smile relaxes, and she takes the unspoken invitation to enter the garage  and throw her backpack down next to the couch. Her eyes quickly find the journal, “write anything good?”

“Not a word. Didn’t have my partner.”

The line earns him a friendly shoulder-nudge. It’s not much compared to what he just had, but it’s something. 

Only, his impulsive brain tells him he needs more. 

“Can we go to the beach one day?”

Refocusing her gaze from the open notebook to his face, she amusingly furrows her eyebrows. “I mean… When I have my license, totally. Whatever you guys want.”

“I…” Shut up. Stop here. “I was thinking you and I, actually. Just us.”

“Oh.” He knows that “oh.” It’s the same one she gave him when she was flustered in the school hallway. He can’t tell if it’s a good or a bad sign. Her fingers are twitching against her legs and her eyes avoid his, but a part of him sees his daydream bleed into reality when a pink hue dusts her cheeks. “Just us.”

“Yeah, if you’re-”

“I’d love to.”

Her mouth zips shut like she didn’t mean to say it. But he’s already smiling at her, and probably sporting a blush of his own, and he knows he doesn’t even have a funny remark  to say in response. 

All he can do is count the days until Julie gets her license.

--

and she sleeps in his bed (while he plays pretend)

Sometimes, when Julie is gone, he’ll just… Go to her room. 

It’s not weird. 

He doesn’t snoop -- well, he tries not to -- but everything that’s out in the open is there for his eyes to take in. This way, he gets the little intricate details of what makes Julie Julie that would otherwise take years to learn about a person. 

Today, when he poofs in, the bed is unmade. Normally she makes it before leaving for school, but on the rare occasion that she is running late, it will remain in disarray until her return. 

Unless, he…

No, no, boundaries. 

But it’s just a little favor. And it’s not like she can kill him or anything right?

Once again, his impulsivity dominates the argument. And he’s suddenly wrapping her sheet in his fists and tugging it up and over her pillows, followed by the comforter. 

With each puff of air that brushes his face from the falling sheets, he catches a bit of her peach perfume. 

The action of making a bed feels so distant to him, but he remembers having to do it himself like it was yesterday. He was too careless to tuck anything in or smooth anything out -- it was just a simple tugging of his sheets to cover the mattress. If he had Julie around back then, pulling him back from the precipice of his relationship with his parents and making music that Bobby wouldn’t steal, then she probably would have shown him how to make his bed more presentable for when she came over.

In front of him, the bed he's making doesn’t look like Julie’s anymore. 

It looks like his. His old twin bed at Mitch and Emily Patterson’s house, his old bedroom tucked in at the end of the hallway. Every shade of blue and gray and yellow feels so familiar but only a little off; like his brain is vaguely reconstructing his home with blurred edges and familiar memories.

“Your bathroom is surprisingly clean,” a familiarly warm voice says from behind him. Julie stands in his doorway, adorning an ethereal flower-patterned dress and clunky black combat boots. 

The strength of the daydream takes over when she approaches him with a smile and his hands, on instinct, find her hips. “I don’t know why you’re shocked. I’m not a slob.”

“Well…” They both chuckle at her tone. “I thought that with your parents out of town, everything here would be falling apart.”

“Well, you’re here, so that could never happen.”

Her smile is the one thing that he knows he got exactly right in this reconstructed environment. He will always know Julie.

The smile that he leans down to lightly kiss is the same smile he sees when they know they have a catchy chorus on their hands, or when she gets an A on a test, or sometimes just when she comes come to say hi to them. It’s pure Julie joy.

“Now that you’ve made your bed since I was in the bathroom,” she murmurs as they pull away, “can we take that nap we were talking about? School was exhausting.”

Tiredly, her head falls to his chest. It’s such a small, warm gesture; but it sends his heart soaring painfully into the wall of his ribs. “Of course, Boss.”

With a gentle touch, he pulls back the covers of his bed and gestures for Julie to crawl in first. She waves him off, trying to tug at the laces of her boots so that she doesn’t sleep in her shoes, but Luke is quick to prop himself on the edge of the bed and lift her foot to her knee. 

“Such a gentleman,” she mocks him, but there’s no venom to her voice. In fact, she’s looking down at him like she loves him. 

He slowly helps her slip her foot from the boot with a soft grip on her ankle. “For you, anything.”

Charged, quiet beats pass between them as he finishes work on the other shoe and instantly scoots over to make room on the bed for her to lay next to him. He can make out a small, pleased smile as she does so; rolling over to cuddle into his chest and tangle their legs the moment that she is able to do so. 

He feels her take a deep breath against his collarbone as he pulls the sheets up to cover them both. “It all smells like you,” she sighs as she exhales.

“Is that a good thing?”

No verbal response -- just a nod, and the sight of her fingers curling into the edge of the sheet and pulling it up right under her nose. “You cozy, Boss?”

Her melodic hum vibrates against his sternum. Parents out of town, cuddling with his girlfriend, playing music -- this was the dream. 

Truly, because it fades around him the moment the recognizable sound of a car rolling up the driveway hits his ears. 

And he’s poofing down to greet Julie, acting as if he doesn’t have all of these wants and needs in his head that all go back to her.

--

It’s a late night, it’s after a gig, and adrenaline is still running fast through Luke’s nonexistent veins. The elevation is still carrying him across the walkway as he recalls the way he shredded his solo and the audience leapt to their feet in roaring applause. 

Sometimes, just to spend a few more minutes with her, Luke will walk Julie to her front door after a gig. She’ll send her dad inside and tell him she was going to “call” the guys, when really they would be partaking in a celebratory band hug before they all cleaned up and retired for the night. 

Tonight was one of those nights, and the cobblestones felt like clouds under Luke’s shoes. 

“Jules, you don’t understand, that high note? I didn’t think it could get better, but something about the lights and the crowds and-”

“It was your guitar solo that kept the audience hyped, though!”

“I think after you swung your wrecking ball voice at them, they would have listened to anything afterwards. You don’t get how magnetic you are, Jules.”

The two of them step up her porch, lingering on the top step. Even though he’s been looking at her all night, post-concert Julie has messy makeup and wild hair and he still sees the flashing lights of the stage reflected in her eyes. She carries the energy of performing with her everywhere she goes.

They’re closer than he realized. He can see the exact dark clouds under her eyes where her mascara has rubbed off, and the strands of hair dotting her hairline, and-

“Luke…”

He doesn’t know what she wants to say, but he doesn’t care. “You’re magnetic, Julie, really. It’s like magic. Nobody can resist you.”

The energy crackles against his fingertips, because he can feel himself twitching to touch her. 

It’s true -- she’s magnetic. He’s leaning in closer and closer with every passing second. 

But she’s the one who makes the first move.

It’s expected and it isn’t when her hands dart from her sides to his neck to his hair and guide him to her as if he would need any help finding her. His hands waist no time in pressing up against her back, bringing her body against his in a way he only feels in hugs-

Only this time, their lips are colliding, and he almost convinces himself this isn’t real.

It’s a sudden and beautiful situation that he’s sure he could only conjure in his daydreams that he has her to blame for in the first place. He’s probably laying on the couch in the studio replaying the look on her face when she hit the high note in question at the gig, and how the gasp she let out at the end propelled him into his solo like he’s never played it before. 

There’s no way he’s making out with Julie right now. 

And he doesn’t mean to vocalize his hesitation, but as her mouth breaks from his with deep breaths that are muted versions of the gasp from the gig, the words tumble from his mouth. 

“Is this a dream?”

With a confused mirth in her eyes, she scrapes the back of his neck with her fingernails and it’s almost tantalizing enough for his head to lull back. 

Please let this be a dream so that he doesn’t wake up tomorrow realizing he did all of this on the Molina’s front porch. 

“I don’t think so,” Julie whispers through her grin. Her fingers apply pressure on the back of his neck, wanting him to come back to her lips probably as much as he wants to come back, and she leans farther into him with their faces barely an inch apart. “But even if it is -- isn’t it a wonderful dream?”

As her mouth parts underneath his and he coaxes another gasp out of her, he agrees -- it is a wonderful dream. 

Tags: @willexx @bluefirewrites @pink-flame @lydias--stiles @constantly-singing @fighttoshinetogether @babydagger28

[thewidowsghost]

Stay Strong, Alex - Part 3

Part 1

Part 2

"Detective (L/n)," Rick sneers. "And they say there's never a cop around when you need one."

"So you know me?" (Y/n) asks, her voice soft.

"Of course," Rick answers. "I took a whole year planning this. Watching Alex, preparing," (Y/n) folds her hands together and she can hear Kara pacing behind her near the door. "I know everything."

"How did you know I was Supergirl?" Kara snarks.

"That day at the beach," Rick replies. "Before you started wearing glasses." He pauses. "I had no idea that Alex would end up playing for the other team, so to speak." (Y/n) swallows thickly. "I was just happy she showed up on the date. And then there was a crash. And Alex's kid sister walked away without a scratch," Rick says calmly, looking up at Kara, who standing over (Y/n)'s shoulder. "People at school said it was adrenaline, but, uh . . ."

"But you didn't believe that," (Y/n) finishes, her head tilting a little.

Rick nods, "I saw Kara Danvers do something amazing. And it stayed with me. I knew Kara was living in National City, and then Supergirl showed up in National City . . ." Rick chuckles. "I put two and two together. I knew it was you."

"What happened to you?" Kara asks softly. "I remember when Alex had chickenpox, I was eating lunch by myself," Kara's voice sounds a little wistful as she remembers the Earth portion of her childhood. "You came and sat with me."

Rick chuckles again. "I was fourteen," as Rick begins, (Y/n) rises from her chair to lean against the table. "And I didn't have the nice house or the perfect family that you and your sister had."

"You think we had it easy?" Kara asks skeptically. "You have no idea what Alex sacrificed for me. Or what I was going through!"

"Why?" Rick sneers. "Because you had to hide your superpowers? I was hiding bruises!" Rick is yelling now and (Y/n) had taken half a step backward. "Do you have any idea what it's like to have your mother tell you your garbage every single night?" The blonde man makes eye contact with (Y/n) and the young woman crosses her arms. "A belt whenever you had the wrong opinion? And then I found a lifeline. A father my mom kept from me. And he saved me from her and he moved me away from Midvale. And even though he was always struggling, he always made sure there was food on the table and he got me enough money to go to college. And then three years ago, the state took him from me."

"Your father killed two people," (Y/n) says, her voice low. "He confessed."

"They had it coming," Rick growls and (Y/n) straightens, her arms still folded over her chest. "And now I'm going to rescue him like he rescued me." Rick pauses. "I can't believe we're still talking about me! You have twenty-four hours and eleven minutes." Kara stiffens as Rick continues, "Come on, Kara, show us some of that rah-rah Midvale Junior High Spirit." Rick is yelling now. "Free my dad! Or your sister dies."

Kara growls, zooms over, flips the table, and pins Rick to the wall.

"Oh, you use half this much gusto in springing my dad, you'll have your sister back for game night."

"Kara! We're done here!" (Y/n)'s voice cracks.

Kara lets go of Rick and the man drops to the ground. "Hey. You know what'll be fun?" Rick asks. (Y/n) frowns, an eyebrow raising as she steps back from the man. "Finding out which one of you loves her more." (Y/n) closes her eyes momentarily, a wave of anguish washing over her. "Honestly, I wouldn't know where to place my bet," Rick sneers and (Y/n) swallows thickly.

Kara frowns at the man and after a minute, the two women go to leave the room, (Y/n) pausing for a second.

"Go Stallions," Rick grins.

Just outside the room, Kara speaks, "I'm giving him one minute, then I'm going back in there."

"No," (Y/n) says and Kara turns to look at her, Kara's eyes blazing.

"Why?" Kara snaps.

"Let him sweat it for a while," (Y/n) tells her, her voice softer than usual as she talks to her girlfriend's sister. "We got what we wanted."

"What?" Kara asks. "All we know is how he knows my identity."

"We know that Rick's pinned his whole sense of self-worth on Peter Thompson," (Y/n) explains, her voice still soft. "Thompson is the key to getting Alex back."

Kara's blazing eyes seem to extinguish as she considers (Y/n)'s words.

. . .

An hour or so later, (Y/n) and Peter Thompson walk into Rick's integration room.

(Y/n) closes the door behind Thompson.

Rick grins down at the table, before standing up after a moment.

"Ricky," Thompson says with a smile.

"Dad," Rick says, and the two embrace.

"All that time in prison, I imagined a day when . . . I could talk to you without a pane of glass between us."

"The DEO moved heaven and Earth to free this man," (Y/n) says. "We did what you wanted. Now, tell us where Alex is."

"No. No, not until my father and I are far from here," Rick says.

"You think we're stupid?" (Y/n) asks. "I showed you mine. Your turn."

"So you can toss us in Gitmo?" Thompson asks. "Not gonna happen."

(Y/n) shakes her head in disbelief.

"Maybe he gives you a piece. A little token of goodwill," Thompson adds. "You gotta give them something, Ricky. That's how it works. Just tell them where she is." Thompson narrows his eyes at his son.

"Well, you really nailed his essence, I'll give you that," Rick says.

"What?" (Y/n) asks, stepping forward, her arms crossing.

"I mean, that thing . . ." Rick says, studying his father's face. "He couldn't decide whether to hug me or not. That's vintage Dad." Rick sits back down in his metal chair.

"What are you talking about?" Thompson asks, walking up to stand beside the table.

"My father would never be playing these games. He'd be wanting to get the hell away from here and making sure that he never went back to prison," Rick's expression is one of anger. "I've been planning this for a year. Do you really think I didn't prepare for you," Rick pauses, looking up at Thompson, "Martian?"

Thompson walks over to (Y/n) and shifts back into himself.

"You're down to twenty-three hours and fourteen minutes," Rick says as he gazes at (Y/n) and J'oon. "And counting."

(Y/n) closes her eyes, pressing her index finger and thumb to the bridge of her nose.

. . .

Winn runs down the hall. "Guys! We found Alex. I found her."

Kara - who is standing with Mon-el - turns to face Winn. "You did?" Kara asks frantically.

"We got a ping from her subdermal tracker," Winn explains. "She's not far!"

. . . 

Back in the interrogation room, (Y/n) is sitting across from Rick, her hands folded and resting on the table in front of her.

"(Y/n)," Kara says, opening the door to the room. "Winn found Alex."

"What? How?" (Y/n) asks quickly, rising from her chair to look at Kara.

"I guess you underestimated my sister," Kara says, looking past (Y/n) to look at Rick. "Let's go."

But (Y/n) pauses, turning to look at Rick. "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"You're delusional," Kara sneers. "And the second we get back here with Alex, you're going to prison with your dad."

"Don't say I didn't warn you," Rick says with a shrug, and fear surges through (Y/n)'s heart.

Kara strides out of the room and (Y/n) meets Rick's eyes, holding the stare for a moment.

(Y/n) runs out of the room. "Watch him," (Y/n) tells the guard as she runs past him after Kara. "Hey, stop," (Y/n) tells Kara. "Malverne still thinks he's in control," (Y/n) tells her.

Kara turns, looking highly annoyed with (Y/n) at this point.

"He's not acting like someone who just lost," (Y/n) continues. "He didn't even flinch. It's like he expected this."

"No, no, no, we are not listening to that psycho," Kara says, walking closer to (Y/n). "Every minute we wait for matters."

"I - I want to get her as badly as you do," (Y/n) retorts, "but we can't punch our way out of this. We've got to get this right."

"If the shoe were on the other foot, Alex would already be out the door. I'm not waiting," Kara argues.

"You're not the only one who cares about her!" (Y/n) says, her voice rising.

"I'm going!" Kara yells over her shoulder as she strides out of the DEO.

(Y/n) swallows thickly and looks at the ground.

. . .

Kara flies across the city and lands in a warehouse, crashing through the roof.  

"Kara!" comes a faint voice.

"Alex!" Kara yells in reply.

"I'm down here!"

Kara runs over to a metal plate on the floor and bends the metal, puling up the plate. Throwing the plate aside, Kara freezes, reading the writing on the wall: 'NOW YOU HAVE FOUR.'

"Four?" Kara asks. "What . . ." There is a rapid beeping and the timer next to the computer screen flashes to four hours.

. . .

In Alex's cell, water begins rushing into the cement cage. Alex, panicking, grabs her jacket to try to plug the pipe.

. . .

"Oh, my God," Kara whispers, her voice full of fury.

. . . 

Kara walks back into the DEOs' headquarters, holding the laptop in one hand. 

Entering Rick's room again, Kara sets the laptop on the table. 

"Where is she?" Kara asks, her voice steely. 

"I told you not to go . . ." Rick says calmly. 

"Tell me where she is now!" Kara thunders, slamming her hands down on the table. 

"I gave you thirty-six hours to break my father out of prison," Rick replies. "But you didn't listen. So now, that room is gonna fill up with water in less than four hours. I think it's time you got moving."

Kara's lip quivers. "Let me talk to Alex."

Rick leans forward and presses a few of the keys and there is a beep. 

Kara turns the laptop around and leans down to talk to her sister through the computer. 

"Alex," Kara says, her voice quavering. 

"Kara! I sent out a signal, I thought you were coming," Alex says, the water up to her waist now. 

"He re-routed the IP address. He sent us somewhere else. Do you have any idea where you are?" 

"I was unconscious. I could be hours away or I could be in the city," Alex replies, a frown spreading across her face. "I don't know."

Rick leans forward. "Alex, it's Rick. It don't want to hurt you. I keep on telling your sister that. Tell her to get my father, and this can all be over. You can come home and get dry."

"No. Kara, no," Alex says, pointing at the camera. "You do not give that terrorist what he wants. You cannot let yourself be blackmailed. You cannot open yourself up to that, ever. Do you understand me? Supergirl is better than me."

(Y/n) enters the room and, seeing Alex on the screen, runs over. "Alex!"

"(Y/n)?" Alex asks. 

"I'm right here," (Y/n) replies. 

"(Y/n), I need to speak to you alone," Alex says, and (Y/n) grabs the laptop and walks out of the room. 

(Y/n) stands down one of the hallways. "Hun, everyone here is working hard and we're going to find you." 

"The water is rising fast and there are things that I need to say," Alex says, her voice cracking a little. 

"No," (Y/n) says, tears welling up in her eyes. "Don't start talking like this is the end."

"I don't want it to be, but in case that it is . . ." Alex says, pausing for a moment. 

"It's not," (Y/n) whispers. "It can't be. You're a badass, Alex. And if anyone could figure out a way to get themself out of there, it's you. You're gonna hold on until I find you," (Y/n)'s voice cracks, and a tear slides down her cheek. 

"(Y/n), listen to me, please," Alex tries to get out.

"No," (Y/n) argues desperately. "We just had our first Valentine's Day and I want to do more with you. I want more firsts. I want a first vacation. We haven't even argued about where we're gonna go yet, and it's bound to happen. Or what to name our first dog. Do you want to get a dog?" 

(Y/n) lets out a watery laugh. "See, there's a lifetime of firsts that we're going to do together. So," (Y/n)'s voice quavers, "you hold on, okay? Hold on until I get to you. You promise. Promise me!" 

"Yeah, um . . ." Alex pauses, scratching the back of her neck. "Let's name her Gertrude or we could adopt one from the animal shelter you volunteer at." 

"I -" Alex tries to say, but the video cuts out. 

"What?" (Y/n) whispers, typing furiously on the keyboard. "Alex!" (Y/n), frustrated with worry, tosses the broken laptop to the ground. 

"What happened?" Kara asked, striding over to (Y/n). 

(Y/n) meets Kara's gaze, her eyes alight with barely controlled anger. "I-I told you not to rush in. N-now you've made things worse."

"I did what I thought was right . . ." Kara argues. 

"I should have been heard," (Y/n) says, her eyes narrowing. "I should have been listened to. I'm her girlfriend."

"I'm her sister!" Kara argues angrily. 

"And you think that trumps me?" (Y/n) asks. "That you know what's right for her. I . . ." (Y/n) falters. "I got her to be herself, Kara." (Y/n)'s voice cracks. "I-I have just as much to lose as you." (Y/n)'s eyes burn. "You should have listened to me."

Word Count: 2,305 words

Taglist:

@procrastinatingsapphictrash

@makegoodchoices

@fanboy7794​

@theofficialzivadavid​

@confusinggemini612​

[lambourngb]

a skeleton of something more [3/7]

previously here. malex wip based on the trailer for season 3, some spoilers and my own speculation. I’m failing at the daily serial because keeping to 2K is impossible, but hoping to have it finished by next week.

Warnings: NSFW content, not forrest long friendly

*** NOW **** 

Alex shut off the streaming hot water reluctantly, and shifted back on the new shower bench to lean his head against the tile. 

His fingertips were pruned from the long shower, his attempt at using the scalding water to try to wash away the dirt he felt covered in after being away from Roswell for so long. Pointless endeavour, when he knew the filth was more than skin deep at this point. It was in his bones. It was in his blood, the way the Manes name still opened the worst doors. Alex touched the corners of his smile with his hands, looking for the edge of the mask he wore around Deep Sky and finding only the bristle of his beard growing in, a very late five o’clock shadow.

The steam of the shower was slowly fading, bringing back the visual details of his naked body. His stump was slightly swollen, the marks of wearing his prosthesis for too long, but it was hard to feel safe without it on, doing the work he was doing around even more paranoid men than he was. Three years past his injury, the scars were still ugly to his eyes as he cupped his fingers over the end of his right leg, but time had faded the lines from an angry red to a wizened white. 

Alex hoped that time would do the same to his soul. 

He moved his hand from his stump, over to his thighs to stretch the lingering soreness from his legs. He ignored where his cock laid, half-full of blood from the simple pleasure of a hot shower; the desire to let himself feel good was far from his mind. Instead he focused on returning functionality to his body after the long, cramped ride on that bus. That was the physical challenge, the emotional one would be trickier. 

It helped that he knew Michael was still there, in his house, probably fixing something else that had been neglected during Alex’s time away. Finding something that was broken or damaged, and then making it whole just with his touch, that was what Michael did naturally. Alex was no exception to that.

Every muscle was loose finally, thanks to the improved water pressure beating on the knots of tension until they turned into putty. Beyond the simple improvement of the plumbing, Michael had also relocated the shower taps to the wall next to the bench, so he could sit safely and turn on the water without balancing on one foot in the front of the stall. 

New grab bars lined the bathroom walls as well. Alex had worried about the expense until he recognized the chrome and black rails from the boxes he had bought a while ago, before shuttling them off to the garage. Michael had apparently found the abandoned project and had finished it for him. The longer the trips he made away from Roswell were, the more involved the upgrades Michael made in his absence. He would need to prepare a cover story in case Forrest noticed the changes, a renovated bathroom went far beyond changing out bulbs in a light fixture.

He was getting closer to ending the sham relationship with Forrest, but he wasn’t there quite yet. His first night back in Roswell he had managed to steer Forrest away from his house and more importantly, his bed, but that was only a temporary reprieve. Tomorrow it would all begin again, playing the role of a grieving son looking to ‘understand’ his father, docilely following Forrest’s lead in ‘discovering’ the alien threat, letting the other man comfort him, but this time, that would all happen in front of Michael. 

Michael knocked on the half-open bathroom door to get his attention, before stepping inside carrying a bath towel. “Are you still alive in there?”

“I am, but I want to marry this shower,” and you, he finished silently. Michael looked pleased by the comment as he stood outside the glass doors, waiting patiently as Alex pulled himself up from the bench and carefully hopped toward him. As he drew closer, the proud expression changed to one of open hunger as Michael took in his nakedness, cataloging the changes on his body. Downtime while he had been away from Roswell had often been filled with trips to the gym, exercising to work through his frustration at the slow pace of developments regarding Deep Sky. Weight lifting and core training had kept his hands away from his phone when the desire to check in with Michael took hold.

There was only so many times he could pass off a call to Michael about his mail or paying a bill for his house.

Alex held out his hand for the towel, while Michael stared at him, his gaze almost physical as he lingered over the swells of muscle. He snapped his fingers at Michael to break the hypnosis.

At the sound, Michael blinked, but then avoided his hand to wrap the towel around Alex himself. Warmth from the soft linen enveloped Alex, a sign the towel was fresh from the drier. He closed his eyes under Michael’s safe hold, enjoying the blatant pampering as Michael gently patted Alex’s wet skin dry. “I don’t mind sharing you with the shower, especially if it means you’re not wearing clothes,” he murmured in Alex’s ear, nosing the lock of wet hair away.

Shivering under the ghost of Michael’s lips, Alex felt something start to knit and heal inside him, blanketed by more than just the towel. Love. Feeling more like himself, Alex teased Michael back, “You could have joined me.”

“It was tempting, very tempting, but then who would have made dinner if I had taken you up on that offer?” Michael tucked the towel around Alex, and then offered his arm as a support while Alex hopped toward the pile of folded sweats to wear. 

“I have a lot of appetites, Michael, food is barely in the top five. And I can eat later, after you leave,-” Alex held his clothes in his hand, not moving to get dressed just yet. 

“You can, but you won’t eat. As soon as I walk out that door, I know you’re going to park yourself in front of your computer and spend the rest of the night hacking, just like you’ve done nearly every night since this started.” Michael waited with a raised eyebrow for Alex to deny it. 

Caught by both the frustration that Michael was right and by the ticking clock in his head that counted down the end of this precious time together, Alex conceded. He pulled his sweatshirt down over his head grumpily, “I didn’t spend every night hacking.”

“Just the nights when you weren’t with Forrest Long.” Michael said it quietly, turning away to hang up the wet towel. 

Alex tucked his crutches under his arms, before reaching out to catch Michael’s shoulder. “Hey, it doesn’t mean anything, you know that, right? It’s just…friction.” He studied Michael’s face, worried that perhaps his patience with everything was wearing thin. 

Over the last year, as he moved deeper and deeper into the circle of men that made up Deep Sky, Michael had been his lifeline to his real identity. A voice on the line, late at night, warm and beloved, reminding Alex what was important and keeping him grounded. During the day, his resolve had felt less certain. He had forced himself to echo the words of Jesse Manes to curry favor, ducking his reflection in the mirror when the hateful words started to come easier and easier to him. Then there was the feeling he had, when he had to accept Forrest’s offers to visit him in Los Alamos, the way he had felt weirdly relieved to see a familiar face, even if it was someone he couldn’t trust. 

Hearing Michael’s voice led him back to himself, and then little by little, the updates were less mission-related and more personal. It had led them back to each other. By the second month, Michael had stopped dancing around things, admitting to Alex just how much he missed him and by the third month, Alex was slipping away to meet with him at half-way destinations to seal his words with actions.

It was reminiscent of his early days in the Air Force, finding Michael in out-of-the-way places where no one knew them. Back then, Alex had DADT and military physicals to dodge. Michael had to take care in leaving no marks on Alex’s body, while Alex had had no such restriction. Michael would leave those encounters, mauled with love bites and fucked thoroughly, while Alex stayed as pristine as his neatly pressed uniform. Eleven, twelve years on, the need for discretion had changed, from the military to Forrest Long. 

That was the elephant in the room. Alex was still having sex with Forrest, mostly when he couldn’t avoid it with a trip out of town, like when he accompanied Forrest to Deep Sky owned properties. It was just friction, putting his body in motion to do a job, much like he had when he had deployed abroad. He had lost any amount of shame for what he was doing to the other man after the first time, when he had found a detailed write-up about his own visit to the Long Farm that Forrest had filed and sent to the mysterious leader of Deep Sky.

“I know.” Michael replied, his smile weak but real as Alex brought him closer for a slow, thorough kiss. 

Alex inhaled the scent of rain into his nose as Michael melted in his arms and the kiss deepened between them. This was the opposite of friction, as they slid easily together in the doorway of the bathroom, until Alex’s stomach betrayed him thoroughly and growled. Michael broke away with a laugh, and Alex noted with relief that his earlier fragility had completely vanished from his eyes, as he headed toward the kitchen, “Come on, I made you your favorite for dinner, spicy tomato soup.”

“With strips of cheese toast?”

Michael looked offended at the question. “Of course.”

That was proof that Michael had been listening to him closely during their late night conversations, the way the subject migrated from business to the personal, until Alex had flat out whined over how terrible the food was at one of the Deep Sky outfits. “Forget looking for aliens, they should look for a new chef.”  And then they were off and running about comfort food, with Michael sharing his fondness for canned spaghettios, they tasted fine cold. Sharing his own fond memory from childhood of his mother making soup as a rare show of maternal care. Melted cheese dripped over cut up toast, then dipped in the tomato soup.

The clock was still ticking in his head, counting down the end of this brief interlude of happiness. Alex laid back on his couch with a tray of soup on his lap and tried to soak in every minute. The thrill of sharing a meal together, sitting side by side on his couch with the evening news droning on in the background. It was a type of domesticity that he never thought he had wanted until Michael. His thoughts turned away from the wholesome toward the carnal as he watched Michael pucker his lips together to blow on the steaming bowl. 

The food was delicious, but that was a distracting sight for anyone, let alone someone who knew just what Michael’s mouth was capable of doing. 

Michael flashed a wicked smile when he caught Alex staring, picking up his strip of toast to dip in his soup and then licked it indecently clean. The perfect bow of his mouth around his food, his tongue chasing his lips for every drop of spilled soup had Alex shifting on the couch. The production lasted until Michael hit a hot place in his bowl, squeaking in shock, sending Alex into a peal of laughter at the affronted look on his face.

“Fuck, that’s hot!”

“Yes it was.”

“Asshole, I meant the soup!”

Alex laughed long and hard, his head tipped back against the couch, and after a moment, Michael joined him. Tears came to his eyes, the laughter set off each time they looked at each other. There was a point, where Alex realized he couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed like that, at least not in the last year outside of talking to Michael on the phone. 

It was worth it. All of it. Infiltrating Deep Sky, spending half of his time around people who would cheerfully murder an alien, even using sex to get information, the price was not too steep to pay if it meant he could protect this moment, preserve it and repeat it forever. To see laugh lines around Michael’s mouth, instead of the press of fear, he would fuck the Devil himself if it meant Michael was safe.

He slowly sobered on the couch, his laughter gone at the thought of losing this. Michael placed their empty dishes in the kitchen and then drew Alex’s foot into his lap to rub. “I can practically see the gears turning now. Relax, okay? Watching the clock doesn’t help.”

“I know,” Alex agreed quietly, pressing his foot into Michael’s grip. “I’m feeling a little guilty here, with all this pampering.” 

Michael dug his thumbs into Alex’s instep, drawing a loud groan of appreciation as he worked on releasing the knots of stress. Too much time in combat boots, the calluses were thick and tough under Michael’s hands but he kept rubbing regardless. 

“If that guilt motivates you into taking better care of yourself-”

“I know, I am trying. But what about you?” Alex gestured toward Michael’s face with his own look of judgment, “are you sleeping enough? Eating enough?”

“I’m also trying. It will be better once this is over. Once you get to meet the head of Deep Sky, and hack him, we’ll both sleep better.”

“If it’s ever over. I’m starting to think the leader of Deep Sky is like the Dread Pirate Roberts.”

Instead of pulling on the threads of pessimism, Michael tugged on Alex’s ankle as he crawled closer to him on the couch. As a subject change, it was a welcome one to Alex. Why dwell on the future, it was better to enjoy the present. Michael’s hands smoothed over the soft fleece of the sweatpants, sending a thrill of excitement through Alex. He slipped down on the seat to allow Michael room. 

“Is it okay to pamper you a little more?” Michael asked, his eyes dark as his fingers slipped inside the waistband of Alex’s sweats. He teased at the taut muscles, stroking his fingers over the soft rasp of hair trailing downward. 

“What did you have in mind?” 

“When’s the last time someone’s sucked this big dick of yours?”

There was a dark hint of teasing in Michael’s voice, he was daring Alex to say a name. Forrest’s name. It was the type of playful provocation they could use with each other now, safely, the result of their late night phone calls to each other. When time was valued, what was the point of secrets between them? 

Alex licked his lips absently, giving Michael a thorough head to toe look of consideration, before answering honestly, “It was in Santa Fe. At the Silver Saddle Motel. A very hot cowboy sucked me until I was hard, and then rode my dick all night long.” 

Michael blinked, not expecting that answer, but pinked in pleasure. “Oh…well then, you’ve been deprived because that was months ago.” He pulled down on Alex’s sweats, letting the band of elastic tuck neatly under his balls and sat back to admire the view. Alex shifted under his eyes, his cock straining upward as Michael bent his head down. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, he’s a short guy, all of this probably doesn’t fit in his mouth,” Michael commented, wrapping his palm around Alex’s cock firmly.

“Yeah,” Alex gasped, hitching up into Michael’s grip, “small mouth, it’s hard to even kiss, impossible to fuck-” His voice gave out as Michael licked the bead of pre-cum with tip of his tongue before stretching his mouth wide. There was a way that Michael approached cock-sucking that Alex could never get over. The look of hunger and that deep breath he always took, as if he had to hold himself back to keep from gorging himself on Alex’s cock. 

Alex had been deprived. Very deprived.

Slowly Michael slid his lips down on Alex’s cock, taking him deep into his mouth. His tongue, warm and firm, dragged downward. Alex cried out in pleasure, it felt so good, his hips rocking upward imperceptibly as his iron-strong control was rocked by Michael. He kept his eyes trained on Michael’s mouth, the reddening stretch of his lips wrapped tightly around his cock. Michael looked up, catching his eye and then bobbed his mouth downward.

Reaching downward, Alex placed his hand against Michael’s jaw and traced his thumb around the edge of his mouth. “So good, you take me so well, Michael.”

The praise had Michael blinking in pleasure before he redoubled his efforts in sucking. Alex gasped again, sinking deeper into Michael’s throat until his lips were kissing the sparse hair, down to the root. Fuck. He was ready to come already. Worse than the clock sweeping toward the end of the evening, was his body ready to end it now.

“Close, I’m gonna-” Alex warned, his hands going to Michael’s shoulders. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to pull Michael off of him, or keep Michael in place to feed him his cock in case he backed away as Alex teetered on the edge of orgasm. His grip clutched uselessly on him, but Michael showed no signs of stopping his efforts. 

Kicking at the couch cushion, he lost the fight to hold back, as he felt his cock hit the back of Michael’s throat. There was a tightening around him, throat muscles working hard to swallow, and then Michael wrapped his hand back around the base of Alex’s cock to stroke him in time with his sucking. His free hand gently squeezed Alex, before rubbing a knuckle along the seam of his balls to his perineum. The outside touch against his prostate was enough to have Alex coming hard down Michael’s throat.

God it was so good. Michael knew every place to touch him. He knew to keep his mouth on Alex as he came, swallowing his release sloppily, until come and saliva leaked from his lips. It was over far too fast, but Michael held on until Alex felt the tears of overstimulation burn in his eyes. Slowly Michael softened his lips, letting Alex’s spent cock slip lazily from his messy mouth and then met Alex’s gaze with a knowing glint.

Michael knew exactly how depraved he looked. 

It was too soon to get hard again, but Alex felt the twinge of it as he stared at Michael. His hands were greedy, cupping Michael’s face between them before wiping up the spill from Michael’s lips with his thumb. Two could play at that game, he thought as he brought it to his mouth. 

“Fuck,” Michael swore softly, “Look at you, tasting yourself.”

“I’d rather taste you,” Alex patted the couch he was laying down on and straightened his disheveled sweatpants. “Take off those jeans and wrap those great thighs of yours around my head and let me suck you.”

“Actually, I’d rather take you to bed.”

Alex glanced at the clock behind Michael. It was close to midnight. He knew based on experience that Forrest would be by in the morning with coffee, before Alex was fully awake. It was a transparent way of trying to catch him off guard, to see if Alex would slip up with news about Michael, or any other alien. After every short trip back to Roswell, the other man had made sure to find an excuse to be in Alex’s house. 

“I know I can’t stay, but I don’t want to leave.”

“I never want you to leave either.” Alex chewed on his lower lip, as Michael waited. Sensing his advantage, he tilted his head seductively, spilling his curls over one eye and then made a transparent pleading face at Alex. Laughing, Alex conceded, “Okay, okay, you can stay for a little while. Help me to bed, and set an alarm.”

*** 

[dreadpoetssociety]

Fevers Don’t Exist

TW: Fever ? (I’m not sure what counts for triggers so pls lmk if I miss anything)

Prompt: hi!! could u do one maybe where like, the reader is an actress on supernatural and she plays like their younger sister on the show or something and she gets sick at a con or something? Thanks !!

NOTE: Hey guys, I’m alive!!!! I know I have a lot of Spencer prompts atm, but it’s really hard to write them when I’m not like, hyper focused on Criminal Minds. I am going to try though! So sorry I’ve left so many of you in the wind, I am a very inconsistent person, my bad. But here’s this! It’s REALLY bad because I’m terrible at being realistic but like idk it’s something.

I really don’t even know what to put for tags on this. 

()()()()()() 

Ah, September. You knew what came along every September, and looked forward to it for the first eight months of every year. Secaucus, New Jersey. You loved every con you went to, truly. Everyone was so nice, you love staying in hotels, panels are such a great time, the whole thing. It's a great experience outside of the set to get connected with fans. And, they loved you almost as much as you loved them. You were typically closer in age, since you were still just a teenager. You also started out as a fan of the show before somehow snatching a role, so you really were with them at one point. Everything that excites them excited you just as much. And, you loved making friends with them. You weren't allowed to be reckless with your phone number, so you made a snapchat that you shared exclusively with con goers, whom you made swear to secrecy. It was like a club, and you just enjoyed genuinely talking to everyone. But, when you woke up that first morning, you knew it was going to be a long day. Your body ached, and you were still pretty exhausted. You had a fever, but didn't really know if it was a fever because you were still young, and God forbid you ever decided to recognize the signs of you being sick. It was almost like a form of denial, not knowing. You were sweating, but freezing, and your throat felt particularly dry. Your headache rested underneath your eyes for the most part, to which you just blamed on being tired. Your stomach didn't hurt, but you definitely weren't hungry. Even though you hadn't felt exactly 100% the past days before, and you obviously weren't feeling right now, you just deduced that it was all because you were tired, and had a late flight in. As a responsible person does, of course. You didn't even bother taking any medicine for it, because hey, you obviously weren't sick, you'd feel better in a bit, and you didn't have any, so why waste the time, right? 

You groggily got dressed and met up with "the boys" (even though they were all older than you) for the free breakfast downstairs, in a separate room, since fans did happen to stay in the same hotel. You grabbed some Cheerios, only to conspicuously throw them away after. 

"You good, Y/N?" Jared asked out loud, gaining the attention of Jensen, Misha, and Alex. You could feel their eyes burning through your skin. Or, maybe that was the fever. It had to be their eyes, you convinced yourself, you didn't have a fever. You were fine. 

"Yeah, why?" you asked, faking the perk in your voice and confused eyes. Your eyes felt really heavy, you noticed. 

"You just... You look exhausted. And pale." he said, "And you threw away that cereal without eating any of it." 

You looked down at yourself as an effect for what you were about to say, "Wow, well that's one way to make me self-conscious. I thought I looked kind of poppin'." you laughed slightly, trying to play it off. 

"W-wait, no that's- that's not what I meant! You look fine, I just-" he was embarrassed. You and the others chuckled.

"I'm kidding. I'm all good, just went to bed late, y'know?" you smiled. It was hard to try and mask the rasp in your voice, and doing so made you feel the need to cough, so you downed some water until it dialed down a bit. He nodded. In your mind, you blessed your acting skills, thinking you got away with it. What you didn't know was that Misha, Jensen, and Jared, as fathers do, knew every trick in the book, and each noted to keep an eye on you. Not to mention, they'd been acting far longer than you had, and could just tell when one switches into a character. They all figured that if you weren't sick now, you would be in days to come, and exchanged glances with each other, while Alex innocently continued to chew on his toast. 

"Well, if you're tired, I don't think you have a panel or anything for another hour or something, maybe you could catch up on some sleep then." Jared suggested. You shrugged.

"Nah," you said, "I've got photo-ops in like, twenty minutes. I should actually probably get going. I'll catch up later!" 

You left with a wave, and disappeared into the hotel somewhere. You stopped in your room, allowing yourself finally to set free the coughs living in the back of your throat. You blamed it on your throat being dry since you didn't drink enough water. Not on germs. So, you grabbed two water bottles from the small fridge in your room, and left, making your way towards the convention center.

  You felt slightly better during photo-ops, which just confirmed in your mind that it was impossible that you were sick right now. You smiled and talked to everyone. There was one girl, who introduced herself as Meredith, who stuck out in your mind. She gave you this super cool hand painted keychain, which you very excitedly put on your keys instantly.

"Dude, I've been looking for a cool keychain. Not just one of those janky ones you find at like 7-11, like a cool one. This is so exciting." you smiled genuinely. You had just recently bought yourself a car, and thought that your keys looked a little lonely, and searched for hours on Etsy for something to spice it up a bit. A weird obsession, thinking about it now.

She laughed, "I'm glad you like it!"

"Hell, yeah! Now, are there any poses you wanna do? Or do you just want to hit that casual look? I could make it look like I'm meeting you." you stupidly rambled. One of your traits that was so widely known was how funny and awkward (in a good way) that you were. It took you a long time to get to that point, though, because you were always anxious about meeting others. You still are every now and then, but it's different here. 

"I was just hoping to get a hug." she said, "If that's okay with you." 

"Yeah, that's cool!" you wrapped your arms around each other and shot the camera a grin. The girl looked a bit confused. 

"Hey," she said, quietly, "are you like, okay? You feel really hot."

Nervously, you replied, "Oh, no, yeah totally fine. I'm just wearing two layers, and it's getting spicy in here."

"Yeah," she answered, "don't push yourself, okay?"

"I won't, thank you. It was really nice meeting you!" 

"You, too! Thanks!" she waved goodbye and you moved on to the last few people in line. She was right, though. You realized that you felt worse than you did when you walked in. You thought it had gone away for a while, but now it was just amplified. You noticed you were cold again, but that you were sweating as well. It must've just been the temperature in the room. These conventions aren't always able to keep a steady temp in the entire building, right?

This day, you didn't have much to do. Most of your events were on the other days to come. You had one panel in a few hours, and then a panel with Jared, Jensen, and Misha a few hours after that, and then bam, the day was over. You just had to get through those two events. Just two. 

Two, events. And both were an hour. So, two hours out of the day. Rookie work. Yet, as your panel approached, the headache had expanded from under your eyes to anywhere that there was space to hurt, your throat ached and so did your lungs from how much you were going off somewhere to cough in privacy, your body felt heavy, you couldn't tell if you were hot or cold at this point it was some weird combination of both, your stomach hurt just slightly, the world was moving around you a bit more than it usually would, and the fever you "didn't" have had climbed a degree, probably two. And, at some point during the day, you got pretty congested. You felt like you could just fall asleep at any moment. Jared and Jensen happened to be walking by where you had been waiting by yourself, away from any congoers or employees, and noticed that even though you were leaning against a wall, you somehow were still swaying.

"Y/N?" Jensen called out, worried. You heard him, you knew you were supposed to respond, but didn't know how. Maybe you did have a fever, and maybe you sort of let it out of control. It was like you were comprehending them, but not at the same time. You heard everything, but it just swept right through your feverish mind. The walked in front of you and examined you within seconds. You felt Jared's cold, really abnormally large man hand sweep your hair back and land on your forehead. 

"J, she's burning up." you felt another hand on your face. You, quite exhaustedly, swatted it away. They couldn't figure out how it'd gotten so bad so quickly. You were sick this morning, but not to this degree. They knew then that you had just shrugged it off all day, and your teenage fever brain probably didn't even think to take any kind of medicine or anything for it, even if you were trying to hide it.

"I'm good. Just tired. Fevers don’t exist." you finally mumbled, taking a few deep breathes, which you hadn't really been able to do in a bit without being rudely interrupted by a bone-shaking cough. It felt nice, almost. The boys sighed at you and shook their heads. 

"Y/N, you should go back to your room and get some rest. We can bring you some stuff that'll help." Jared suggested. You shook your head and opened your eyes, which somehow felt even heavier.

"Nah," you said to them, "I've got a panel, I think, in like, I ‘dunno, some minutes or something. Something I-" you pushed yourself off the wall to try and make your way somewhere, but stumbled a step or two, which result in Jensen and Jared instinctively to grab you in order to keep you steady.

"Like hell we're letting you go to that, Y/N, you can't even form a sentence, or stand for that matter. You're out of your mind. We're going to bring you back now, we'll take care of your panel thing." Jensen stated pretty sternly. You were about to fight back, and they could see it, but you coughed a few times, and they could almost feel it in their own chests. You just nodded in defeat.

"Yeah, maybe I could just like, sleep, for an hour or two." you whispered, tiredly. The two were still holding you steady, and could see you already falling asleep before even going anywhere. 

"Or six, by the looks of it." Jared joked lightly.

"Poor kid." Jensen said to Jared as the were walking out of your room. They helped you get there, and you were gone before you even saw the bed, "Why do they always have to pretend like they aren't sick? Look where it gets them."

"Don't know, man. You can't talk, though. You literally tell people you are immune to illness." Jared laughed quietly, shutting you door.

"Well I am. I am the perfect example of health. I don't get sick." 

"Yeah," Jared rolled his eyes, "Right. Watch you catch what Y/N has. You practically carried her all the way here. There's no way you're escaping it." Walking towards the center, the back way of course, Jensen scoffed, "Please, germs take one look at me and know not to mess this up. And, by the logic, that means you're already infected, too. So, tell me, princess, what sort of soup do you want spoon-fed?" 

Again, Jared rolled his eyes, and the two laughed. They weren't making fun of you, they were making fun of each other, and knew that you would've wanted in on that action.

"Y/N probably would've destroyed us if she heard that. Something along the longs of 'You want me to tuck you in? Carry you bridal style?'" Jared pitched his voice a tone higher for it. Again, the two men laughed.

They made their way backstage of what's supposed yo be your panel, and informed the crew about what was going on. They were just going to fill in for you, probably tell a few embarrassing stories.

When they made their way through the curtain, the crowd shouted. They were obviously excited to see the two leads, but also were obviously confused. "Alright, you're probably confused." Jensen stated the obvious, "Because obviously, we look nothing like Y/N, and thank God she does not look like us." The crowd laughed.

"Anyway, Y/N can't make it today. She's really sick-" the crowd cut Jared off with a unison "awe." People yelled out that they hoped she felt better, tell her to take care of herself, and so on.

"Yeah, poor kid looked like she was just going to fall asleep right where she was standing. She literally tried to come anyway, like, kid, you're making no sense. Y/N couldn't really fight against us, though, so she's sleeping now." Jensen explained, "So we came here to chat in her stead, but just know she really was planning on coming. That kid loves you guys." and again, the "awe" rolled through the crowd. 

"If she wasn't sick, she could totally kick both your-" the last word was cut off, but was implied anyway, someone screamed from the crowd, which resulted in laughter.

"Yeah, probably. Even if we were stronger than her," sarcastically, of course, "she'd still beat us. Kid's too fast, and I'm too old." Jared laughed.

In the last ten minutes of the panel, Jared decided to give you call. Not only to check in on you, but so you could at least say hi to your crowd. When you heard the phone ring, you groggily opened your eyes and aimlessly reached for it.

"Hello?" you answered. Jared almost frowned at how sick you sounded, even with just one word.

"Y/N?" Jensen stepped in, "It's Jensen."

"Unfortunate." you sighed exhaustedly. It was joke, a really tired one, but still enough to make the crowd laugh.

"We're here at your panel, we thought you might want to say hi." Jared said loudly, holding the speaker of his phone to the microphone. 

"Panel?" you asked. Panel? What panel? Your delirious mind was clearly confused, "Who's that?" 

"Y/N, the con. The convention panel?" Jensen actually sounded worried. They probably should've thought to give you some sort of medicine to do something about the fever you had before they'd left.

"Oh," you closed your eyes again, almost falling asleep, before remembering finally what it was they meant, and after a moment, "Oh! Crap, the panel thing, I'm late."

"No, Y/N, stay there, we've got it covered remember? You can't come. You can say hi to them, though." Jensen interjected quickly.

"Okay, hi guys." you just followed as told.

The crowd responded with a series of hello's. 

"'M really sorry. I hope they aren't boring you." the two men could practically hear you closing your eyes. The crowd responded in inaudible chatter. Jensen and Jared walked from the mic for a second.

"Sorry if we woke you, kid." Jared apologized, having just realized they probably could've left you alone, "W also just wanted to check in. See how you're doing."

"How are you feeling?" Jensen asked, but got a mumbled word in response, "Alright, well, just go back to sleep, we'll be up there soon." 

Jared hung up the phone, and the two began to answer the last few questions and close up. They waved their goodbyes to the crowd, and started heading back your way.

"Jensen, you got any over the counters with you? Thermometers or anything? All I've got is Advil, and I don't even know what's really bothering her yet other than that cough and being tired."

"Yup. Danneel always makes me carry literally an entire medicine cabinet, just for these moments. I'll go get 'em and meet you there. It'd probably do her some good to eat something, too. I don't know if she's got like, a stomach virus thing going on, though." Jensen answered.

"I'll see what she'll say and let you know." 

The two parted ways, and Jared made his way to you. Even though he'd only talked to you just a few minutes before, you were dead to the world by the time he opened the door. The room was boiling, and Jared looked over to the thermostat to see that you'd at some point put it on to 90 degrees. 

"Jesus, Y/N, I know you've got a fever, but damn." he said, more so to himself than to you. He looked over at you after turning it down to see you curled beneath what looked like any blanket you could find. He came over and started removing the blankets slowly, and shook you gently to wake you up.

"Y/N, wake up for a minute, it's Jared."

"'Mm." was all you said, until you realized your layers of warmth had been moved, "What're doing? It's cold."

"Y/N, you're dripping in sweat. It's the fever making you cold."

"I don't have a fever." you retorted, "I'm good. Just tired."

"Kid, you've been tired the whole day. You've been sleeping this whole time." he tried rationalizing.

"I have?" you questioned, closing you eyes again. Jared put his hand to your forehead again. Somehow, it was warmer than the first time he'd done it before the panel. It was then that Jensen finally appeared, a whole bag of things in hand, "Could you bring the thermometer over?"

"Yeah, gotcha." He walked over and rummaged through the bag at the same time, pulling out a thermometer.

"Y/N, we need to take your temperature." Jensen said.

"No need." you said, "'M not sick."

"You are so obviously sick, I'm not asking." again with that stern voice. Jared gave him a "Hey, she's sick, back off a little" sort of look, but it had worked, and you let them take your temp. They were almost shocked when the thing beeped at 103.

"Should we take her to a hospital? That's way too high." Jared asked. 

"If it gets any higher, yes, but let's see if we can bring it down first." Jensen replied.

"No hospitals." you demanded, opening your eyes and glaring at them. 

"We aren't bringing you yet, Y/N, but I need you to eat this so you can take some meds." he held out two pieces of toast that he must've brought from his room. You hated toast even when you weren't sick.

"I'm not really hungry." 

"I know, but it'll help. You haven't told us what's bothering you yet, either." Jared responded.

"Nothing's-" you coughed a few times, a bit violently, "bothering me." "We can see that." Jensen said sarcastically.

"Everything's bothering me." you whispered, giving up.

"Your stomach hurt?" Jensen asked. You waved your hand from side to side to signal a so-so, "Think you'll get sick at all?"

"No, it's not like that, I don't think." you breathed out, another cough escaping you. You took a few bites out of the toast. It made you uncomfortable, but it was then that you realized you probably felt that way since you really hadn't eaten much that day or the one before, which probably contributed to the splitting headache. It didn't go away after, either though. You pushed yourself up. You almost fell over, but Jared put a hand out for you.

"Alright, good. Take this. I'm going to be frank, it tastes disgusting." Jensen handed over a small cup of liquid, "Sometimes, if you take it like a shot, it helps. But you shouldn't know how to take shots, but if you do it, I won't judge." And so you did, causing the two to chuckle slightly at you. 

"You were right, about the sleep thing." you slumped back onto the bed heavily, like a brick.

"When am I ever wrong?" Jensen asked, "Don't answer that, actually."

But you were already sleeping again, and the boys decided to stay nearby for now. The next panel wasn't for another few hours anyway, and they just didn't want you to be alone. Also, incase you were wrong about the toast, and it decided to make its return. Jared's phone began to ring loudly, to which he very quickly tried to answer so his obnoxious ringtone wouldn't wake you up again, not that you wouldn't have just fallen back asleep anyway.

"Misha? Hey, what's up?" Jared answered. Jensen walked over to hear what was going on on the other side of the line, but Jared just decided to put it on speaker.

"Where are you guys? I haven't seen you all day. Felicia, Alex, and I are going out for lunch, we were wondering if you guys want to come. I tried calling Y/N, but she didn't answer, so." he rambled.

"That's because Y/N's not feeling well." Jensen said, giving him a solution to his predicament of not being answered, "We're with her right now, so we'll have to pass."

"She's sick? Is she okay?" 

"Yeah, I think so. She's just got this crazy fever we've been trying to bring down. Thinking about it now, Jensen, we should probably check it again." 

"A fever?"

"It's been at 103 degrees for like, two hours. At least for what we know of. She's probably had one all day, but as a dumb teenager does, she just tried to ignore it." 

"If it goes up you should-"

"Yeah, we know," Jared said, "we're trying really hard to avoid that, though. Also, she'll definitely fight against it, I don't know." 

Jensen, from the other side of the room at the sound of a beeping thermometer, could be heard on Misha's end, "It went down, finally. 102.2."

"Thank God, I was getting worried."

"Should I come there? Do you guys need any help?" Misha asked.

"I mean you can, but I think we're good. She's just been trying to sleep it off the whole time, so not much is really going on." Jensen was closer to the phone now, "Like, she's got this cough, a headache, and you can hear how congested she sounds, but mostly I think she's just exhausted. I honestly don't know how because she's just been sleeping for hours."

"Fatigue."

"Yeah, poor kid. I don't think I've ever seen her so tired, it almost makes me tired to be honest." Jensen joked.

"Maybe you're just getting sick." Jared slipped in.

"Not possible. I am immune."

"Nobody is immune, Jensen." Misha sighed.

"I'm not nobody." he shrugged. 

"Alright, well, we're going to get lunch then. If you need anything let me know, and tell her I hope she feels better." Misha concludes.

"We will, thanks Misha." and with that, Jared hung up. For a few more hours, the two hung around. They were there when you woke from some fever dreams, and when you needed a cough drop, or twelve, and wake you up every now and then to check your temperature, which raised and dropped and raised and dropped, but currently was at a very steady 102.4. But, soon enough, it was time for them to leave for the last panel of the day, and unsurprisingly, you tried to follow suit.

"Y/N, we gotta go, but we'll be back in about an hour from the panel." Jared said. You took a deep breath and sluggishly pushed yourself to the side of the bed. Having been sick, and not having sat up in a few hours, the blood rushed from your head, leaving you dizzy.

"What're you doing?" Jensen asked.

"The panel. I missed the last one I should go to this one. I feel okay." you yawned, then coughed slightly.

"Y/N, really, you shouldn't even think about pushing it like that." Jared said. Jensen walked over to you, half on the bed, clearly trying to steady yourself just from the movement of sitting up. The spinning room honestly almost made the toast make a reprise, and you hiccupped, and held your breath.

"Hey," Jensen grabbed a can quickly, noticing, "are you going to be sick?"

Giving it a minute, it went away, and you shook you head no, causing a huge tension to leave the room.

"Alright, well, remember how you said I was right all the time earlier?" Jensen pun the can down.

"No, must've been the fever." you half joked, causing Jared to laugh. 

"Alright- well- okay, shut up. We agreed I'm always right, and that I was right about needing sleep, so I say you need some more." Jensen demanded rather than suggested. 

"Yeah, or at least lay around and do nothing. I can't imagine ever sleeping as much as you just did." Jared joked, pushing you very gently back down, with his hand on your back, knowing you would just hit the bed without it. Your eyes were heavy again, and your throat was painfully dry, and you coughed. Your aching head also agreed with the two of them to your dismay.

"Maybe just a bit more." you mumbled, "A few minutes."

"Yeah a few minutes, sure." Jared smiled, knowing you were probably going to knock out for a few hours once again. You opened your eyes again.

"You think," you coughed, "that they'll be mad?

"Who?" Jensen asked.

Feeling pretty sick, you said, "That I don't go? I don’t feel really good."

Ah, the fever comes to play once again, it seems, but the two felt some sort of triumph now that you've at least admitted to being sick, even if it's been hours. It concerned them, though, if you felt bad enough to admit it.

"No, they'll be fine about it. We'll be back soon. Misha or Alex might come in to check on you, alright?" Jared answered, to which you nodded.

They weren't gone long. You spent half the next day sleeping, too, until you could stand without swaying. You did sneak back to the con, against Jensen and Jared's orders, since you really didn't break that fever and cough for a few more days, only to be caught after a tweet of you at the con was trending and the cast caught wind of it. But, eventually, you were better, and got the chance to help Jared take care of an "always immune" Jensen. And he was more stubborn than you were.

[defectivehero]

Hellooo, love your writing 💕 I was wondering if you could write something about a villain taking care of a depressed hero (or it can be the other way around!)?

hey thanks!!  i’m gonna do it the other way around- i hope you don’t mind!

tw: depression, suicidal thoughts, swearing, all that jazz ;(

Alex hadn’t been outside in a whole week.  An ordinary person would be a bit concerned, perhaps putting it down as a sudden illness or a death in the family.  But, no.  Alex wasn’t sick.  Alex wasn't grieving over the loss of a family member.

He looked up what he was feeling on Google, and got a wide variety of results.  Suggestions for how to handle heartbreak, getting over the loss of a loved one, a survey about depression... Alex stopped reading after that.

He had been sitting on the couch, staring blankly at the wall, when a loud buzzing sound made him look down at his phone.  He rolled his eyes when he saw who was calling him.  Cameron.  Ugh.

Alex and Cameron had a quite complicated relationship, that was for sure.  They were mortal enemies, or, at least, they were supposed to be.  Alex was a villain, and Cameron was a hero.  So why was Cameron calling him?

The phone continued ringing, and Alex clenched his teeth in annoyance.  He pressed the ‘decline call’ button, then threw his phone onto the coffee table in front of the couch.   The phone landed with a slam, nearly cracking the glass.  He probably broke his phone, and yet, he couldn’t even find the energy to care. Tears streamed down his face, glistening against his tanned skin.

Everything felt like a chore- eating, brushing his teeth... Even getting out of bed was a challenge.  More often than not, Alex would spend the day laying under his covers, holding back tears.  It was quite a crushing feeling, to be completely honest.  He had never felt so weak.  It had gotten to the point where he hadn’t done any sort of villain work in weeks.   It’s not like you were going to succeed anyways, a small voice in the back of his head said.    His laptop was sitting on his nightstand, untouched from when he last set it down a month ago.  He couldn’t help but think of that laptop as some sort of barrier- a constant reminder of his failure to truly accomplish anything.  It was just barely within reach, so close and yet so far. Every time he thought of reaching out for it, he just couldn’t.  His body wouldn’t let him.  His mind wouldn't let him.

He heard a strange rapping-like noise, and glanced at the front door.  There didn't seem to be anyone there.  He looked down at his hands.  What was he doing?  Why was he here?  Another rapping noise.  He ignored it, shaking his head.  Probably just the rain.  

A couple seconds later, his front door burst open, and a cold draft flew through the house.  “C-Cameron?” Alex whispered, shock evident in his voice.  “Did you break in-”

“I just used your key,” Cameron grinned, holding up the key that Alex kept hidden on the front porch.  The blond ran a hand through his wet hair, wiping his shoes against the carpet in the entryway before walking in.  Alex followed the man’s gaze, his heart dropping to his stomach.  

His apartment looked like shit.  There were clothes everywhere- draped over the couch, piled on the floor... A pile of dirty dishes was balanced precariously in the stainless steel sink.  There were papers scattered all over the table.  

“Wait, it’s not-”

The hero looked at him, then scanned the room.  Alex felt a pit of shame setting in the bottom of his stomach.  Was Cameron here to gloat?  Was that what he wanted?  After all, they were always trying to one-up each other.  Alex felt his eyes burning, and rubbed at them roughly, willing for the tears to stop streaming down his face.

“Go away,” Alex muttered.  Cameron completely ignored him, continuing to amble around the room.  Alex sighed, sitting back down on the couch and putting his head in his hands. He had never felt so embarrassed.  

Alex wasn’t sure how long he sat there, closing his eyes and willing his mortification to go away.  It could’ve been minutes, it could’ve been hours...

A tap on his shoulder made him jolt, whipping his head up and subsequently nearly head-butting Cameron.  “S-sorry,” he muttered, getting up dizzily. He stumbled a bit, and Cameron reached his hand out to steady him.   Once he steadied himself, he looked at the room around him and gasped.

The entire room was clean.  All the dishes were gone, the clothes neatly folded in the corner, and all the other clutter was nowhere to be found.  Alex felt a warm feeling spread to his chest.  “I... Thank you,” Alex whispered, bringing a hand to his face in shock.  

“No problem,” the blond smiled sweetly.  “Now, how about some dinner?”

Alex found himself sitting down at his dining table an hour later, a steaming bowl of pasta in front of him.  He glanced up at Cameron, who was sitting across from him.  The blond nodded, and started eating.  Alex had a bite, skeptical about Cameron’s cooking skills.  But, he was pleasantly surprised.  The pasta was quite good.

“So..” Cameron started hesitantly, waving his fork around.  Alex glared at him.  “You know what I’m going to ask,” he continued.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” “You need to,” the blond argued, shaking his head in exasperation.  “I’m the perfect person to talk to.” 

Alex snorted, rolling his eyes.  “And why is that, may I ask?” he quipped.

“I’m a therapist, duh.”

“Oh.”

“I’m fairly decent, as I’ve been told,” Cameron mentioned nonchalantly, poking his fork into his pasta.  Alex sighed, grabbing his water glass chugging it.

“If you tell me, I won’t bother you about it again,” Cameron offered, raising his hands in mock surrender.  Alex sighed.  He really wouldn’t be able to get out of this, would he?

“Alright, fine,” he groaned, averting his eyes.  “Let’s get this over with.”

“Okay, so tell me,” Cameron started, putting his folded hands under his chin in contemplation, “when did all this start?”

“A couple weeks ago,” Alex replied, thinking back.  

Cameron nodded, “How have you been feeling, exactly?” Alex sighed.  Exactly how did he get himself into this situation?   Oh right, his mortal enemy/friend broke into his apartment, went on a cleaning spree, and then somehow managed to cook dinner with the zero ingredients in his pantry.

“Fine.” Cameron gave him a death glare, and he felt himself start to sweat.  “Alright, alright.  I just feel empty, I guess,” Alex sighed.  “I don’t know, I just don’t feel like myself. I’m really tired, and I can’t find the motivation to do anything?” he met Cameron’s eyes.

Cameron stared at him for a second, studying his face.  “Have you been struggling to sleep lately? Struggling to find pleasure in activities that you normally enjoy to do? Poor appetite? Feelings of hopelessness?”

Alex dropped his fork with a clang, jaw falling open.  How did Cameron know?  He had been experiencing all of those things!  He nodded briefly, not able to find the words he wanted to say.

“Any thoughts of wanting to harm yourself, or thinking you would be better off dead?” Cameron asked, and Alex felt his eyes begin to burn again.  He blinked rapidly.  He really didn’t want to cry in front of Cameron.

“Yeah,” Alex whispered, clenching his fists in his lap.  His lip quivered, and he felt incredibly embarrassed.  He looked over at Cameron, who had a dejected expression on his face.  That only made him feel worse.  He was an expert at fucking things up, wasn’t he?

“Alex, you have depression,” Cameron mentioned, clear voice cutting through the air.  

“No, I don’t,” Alex immediately replied, adrenaline coursing through him. “No way,”

“’Lex, there’s nothing to be ashamed of,”

“Of course not!” Alex exclaimed, breathing hard.  “Of course you wouldn’t care!  Perfect Cameron, such the perfect hero!” he hissed, hands trembling.  “Taking pity on those below him, how kind of him,”

“Are you done yet?” Cameron asked, completely unfazed by his sudden outburst.  

Alex blushed, remembering himself. “Yeah, I am,” he confessed, looking down at his feet in embarrassment.  He was still in shock.  There was a name for what he was feeling?  He wasn’t sick, broken...?

“I think you should start seeing a therapist,” Cameron declared, breaking the silence.  Alex was, admittedly, not opposed to the idea.  He’d try almost anything, at this point.

“Here,” Cameron said, shoving the piece of paper into his hand.  “I wrote down the name for our offices.  Call the number here, it should bring you to our receptionist. They’ll set an appointment up for you,” he continued.  

“Now, I’ll make sure to get you a different therapist,” the blonde mentioned offhandedly, “because I can’t be yours- I’m probably the reason you’re going to therapy anyways,” 

 Alex whipped his head up.  What?  “No, you’re not,” Alex denied adamantly.  For whatever reason, he felt the need to reassure Cameron that it wasn’t his fault.  Why?  He had no idea.  Cameron raised his eyebrows, looking at Alex as if he hadn’t expected him to say anything.  An awkward silence befell the room.

Cameron looked away, leaning back into his chair and looking at the ceiling.  Alex watched him close his eyes, as if in deep thought.  He took a sharp breath, watching the blond’s Adam’s apple bob up and down.  Cameron’s thin, defined collarbones peeked out from the collar of his shirt.  Alex bit his lip unconsciously.

“What’s wrong?” Cameron asked, blinking his eyes open.  Alex swore he saw the hero’s eyes flit down to his lips for a brief second, but when he looked at the blond again, he was looking at the ground.  

Alex shook his head.  “Oh, uh, nothing,” he huffed.

“Hm, okay,” the hero replied, clearly not buying his excuse.  “Anyways, I better get going,” he said, grimacing as if he didn’t want to leave.  Alex raised an eyebrow at that.  Wouldn’t he be happy to leave?  He doubted anyone would want to spend time with him in this state.  He dragged his shoes along the floor, hands tightening on arms of the chair he was sitting in.

Cameron put a hand on his shoulder, pressing his lips together in a hesitant smile.  “Call me if you need me, okay?” he said.  Alex nodded, meeting his eyes.  Cameron nodded at that, thoughtful gray eyes scanning his face as if in search of something.  Alex felt his cheeks darken, as Cameron’s face was only inches from his.  The blond had a conflicted expression on his face, as if he was debating whether he should do something or not.  Eventually, Alex felt Cameron’s arms wrap around him, pulling him into a hug.  The pair stayed there for a bit, clutching onto each other. 

Alex pulled away.  “You better get going, Cameron.  It’s late,” he whispered, secretly wishing he could stay.

“Alright,” the blond replied.  “Good night, Alex,” he mumbled, walking towards the door.

“Good night.”

Alex watched him leave, smiling to himself.  He looked down at the piece of paper in his hand. Maybe he really would be okay.

[livsoulsecrets]

Deanoru Fic: It's a love story, baby, just say, "Yes"

Summary: The one where the Runaways have to fight an unexpected criminal attack in L.A. during their night out and Nico ends up taking big risks to protect Karolina, which prompts her to ask Karolina the most important question of their lives.

§ - §

 What was supposed to be a quiet Sunday night for the Runaways quickly turned into a mess in a matter of seconds.

 Thinking in retrospect, Nico assumed she should have known they were bound to stumble upon a disaster every time they stepped outside.

 Still, it had been the first time in a while they had managed to get the whole group together at the same place. With Alex off to MIT, Gert and Chase finishing off college and Molly about to graduate high school all while Nico and Kare adapted to moving in together last year, they had been too busy for a reunion. At the same time, Nico was pursuing her own career in journalism (which had been quite a surprise to her, once she realized writing about the things that angered her was a better coping mechanism than trying to solve everything with spells) and Karolina started working towards her Sociology Masters (which did not come as surprise at all, because this girl was amazing and capable of anything).

 Because of the crazy times they had been going through, Nico had planned to have a peaceful night out with her friends at the amusement park downtown, followed by a sleepover at their old hideout, the Hostel, to blow off some steam. Of course, that didn’t go as planned thanks to some lunatic that had decided to attack LA and kidnap a bunch of kids in the middle of their night off. 

 Now, Nico was following the crazy man’s track to some abandoned warehouse (because he was a cliche like that, apparently), alongside Karolina, Molly and Chase. They had left Gert and Alex at the park, to make sure the civilians got home safe and nobody was hurt. When they finally reached the place Nico’s localization spell had pointed out, she stopped her friends in their tracks.

— Look, we don’t know much about this dude, other than the fact he’s insane enough to kidnap a bunch of kids without thinking twice. What we do know is that he seemed to know exactly what he was doing, so he may be a professional. — Nico explained, keeping her voice low while the four of them hid behind a bus stop. The sight was quite ridiculous, but the dark street provided a very welcome hideout.

— So, you think he is part of a gang or something? — Molly asked, appearing to be excited at the prospect of kicking some gangster’s ass, which did not appeal to Chase at all, considering his furrowed brow in Molly’s direction.

— He could be. Anyway, he had a whole crew and lots of guns. Be careful and don’t do anything dumb. And, yes, I’m talking to you, Chase, in case there is any doubt. — Nico reinforced, receiving a scowl from him.

— Oh, there wasn’t, baby. — Kare commented, earning a small smile from her girlfriend, despite the tense situation they were in. Chase just threw his arms up in frustration as a response.

— Just remember our main goal is to get the children back to their families before anything bad happens. Let’s go inside by the backdoor and, please, don’t forget to- 

— Stick together. — Molly interrupted. — We know it, Nico. You give away too many speeches for somebody that hates motivational stuff. — With that, she turns and leads the way to the back exit.

— Ow, I was just disrespected by a fetus. — Nico sighed, but still followed said fetus’ steps.

— Now you know how I feel. — Chase replied, shaking his shoulders.

 Their banter died down as Molly forced the door open and the four of them walked inside in complete silence. The place was pitch dark, so Karolina instinctively lightened up her hand, leading the way through an infinite amount of hallways that seemed to lead nowhere.

— Wait, I’m hearing something. — Kare whispers just when Nico was starting to lose hope of finding any clues in that place. Kare very quickly diminishes her light. — I think someone is coming, get ready. 

 Some moments after her warning, Nico manages to catch sight of a dim lantern light in the end of the hallway. Shortly after that, six men appeared, guns in hand. 

 Despite their muscles and armament, they had no time to react as energy blasts from Chase’s Fistgons hit the first two men right in their chests. Without missing a beat, Karolina flew over the fallen thugs to bring the next two to the ground as Nico attacked one of the remaining men with a restraining spell. Molly hit the last one of the men hard against the wall, leaving him momentarily unconscious. 

— Tell us where the kids are. Now. — Nico demanded the man she was holding against the wall. 

— Fuck you, bitch-

 A burst of light hit a spot near the guy’s head, leaving a massive hole in the wall. Molly let out a surprised squeal, but Nico didn’t even flinch, knowing exactly where it came from.

— You will tell her what we want to know or the next one is going right into your head. — Karolina bluffed, rainbow couloured beams of light coming out of her hand.

 Anyone who knew her could see right through her act, as Nico did, but, right there, in a dark creepy hallway with her exhilarating power consuming the whole place, it was no surprise the man was terrified of her.

 With blonde hair falling into her face, an anger-filled look on her dreamy blue eyes and incredible power radiating from every part of her body, Nico thought she looked like an avenging angel.

 Nico also thought several other things right after that, but she had to push those ideas away in favor of focusing on their mission.

— East side of the building. They are keeping the kids in the basement over there. You have to turn right in the next hallway and keep walking straight down. — The guy grunted out, visibly shaken up.

— How many people are guarding them? — Chase questioned, stiffening up.

— About twelve, but I guess you will have no problem with that. — He growled.

— Why did you take the kids? Is it to make a statement to a rival gang? — Molly seriously questioned, talking for the first time in a while, which earned a raising eyebrow from Chase. — What? I study gangs quite a lot, you never know when you will have to fight one.

— You terrify me sometimes, kid. — Chase said, deeply disturbed.

— She’s not wrong. — Their hostage said, once the hold Nico had on him tightened up. — I don’t know much, I was just paid to guard the place. All I know is the boss has some crazy guns and is trying to show off his firepower, the kids are just to attract attention. 

— As usual, kids are the ones getting caught up in the middle of adults’ bullshit. — Nico murmured, anger burning inside of her. — That’s all we need to know, let’s go. — Nico dropped the thug to the ground and whispered a spell to make him fall asleep.

— Alright, guys, let’s find them. — Karolina pleaded, holding out her hand for Nico to grab. Without thinking twice, Nico took it and guided her girlfriend and friends to the basement. They successfully avoided being seen by any other guards, managing to reach the place rather quickly, now they knew what to look for.

 Once they got to the spot where they were hiding the kids, Nico caught sight of plenty of guards gathered in front of the door. Nico signaled for the group to stop and listen attentively. They all waited together, trying to listen to the conversation being held near them.

— Is the gun ready? — One of the men questioned.

— The Boss says so. He brags it can take out any of those super powered freaks out there, anything that isn’t human. — Answered another.

— Do you believe it?

— I don’t need to believe it. Every other gang in town is going to be terrified. We are in for some good money. 

 Nico reached for Karolina without thinking twice, fear washing over her at the thought of some despicable guy harming Kare. The next thing in her mind was Molly, fearing the weapon could hurt her too due to her powers. Chase’s panic was also written all over his face when she looked up to him.

— So, what do we do? — Molly whispers, voice trembling. 

— We save the kids and get out of here. That’s the plan. — Nico answers, fearing Molly and Karolina would cross ways with a potential threat.

— We can’t let this guy keep the weapon. It could hurt people. People like me. Like Molly. — Karolina disagrees, nervously.

— This is exactly why we need to leave. We can’t put you and Molly in danger. — Chase pondered.

— Also, we don’t even know if this gun is real, the dude might just be making it up. — Nico argued back, trying not to raise her voice.

— We can’t take risks with this, Nico. — Karolina insists. There is a moment of silence where Karolina just holds Nico’s eyes on hers, letting her know she is not letting this go.

 Well, Nico realizes she isn’t either. 

— I don’t want to get in the middle of this staring contest you guys are having, but I think the guard is walking toward us, so maybe we can argue later and fight now? — Chase suggests, speaking fast as he prepared his Fistgons to shoot lasers at the upcoming target.

— Say no more. — Molly complies, eyes glowing in the dark.

 After that mutual agreement, everything becomes a blur of punches, light and loud noises as the four of them fight through the wave of thugs. 

 Once they finally reach the door, Chase blows the lock up, sweat covering his face and his breathing heavy. 

— Man, I don’t see you in this bad of a shape ever since you lost the Junior league championship. — Nico commented, earning an offended scowl from him.

— That’s low, Minoru, you know that’s the thing I’m sensitive about. 

 As Chase catches his breath, Molly screams a warning before kicking the door down. It’s all a bit dramatic and not that necessary, but Nico lets her have it. It has been a long night, after all.

 They find about fifteen very terrified kids grouped together in the dark, loud sounds of crying and screaming reverberating through the room.

— Hey, it’s okay. — Karolina softly announces, lighting up the place. — We’re here to help. — The kids amusedly stare at Kare as she shines, momentarily forgetting their current situation.

— Yes, we will get you out. Just make a line and I’ll make sure you get back to your families. — Nico asks, turning to prepare for her next speel. With a deep breath, she pictures the amusement park with clarity in her mind as she tightens her hold on the Staff. — Open the portal. — She murmurs, focusing on keeping it safe for the kids. — It’s stable now, but it’s not safe for them to cross alone. Molly, you and Chase go with them.

 The girl opened her mouth to protest at the same time Chase let out a breath of relief.

— Please, Mols. Those kids need protection, we have no idea if there’s something waiting for them at the park. They will need to be kept safe until finding their families. I’m trusting you with this. — Nico pleaded, hoping she would listen to her. Molly still looked unhappy about it, but nodded and accepted the request. 

— Hey, y’all, just stay together and follow me. — Molly said, walking through the portal right after. Chase spoke softly to the kids as they crossed it as well, only stopping when the last one was gone, following them as well. Despite that, Nico kept the portal open, fortifying it.

— Kare… You should go with them. — Despite her request, Karolina sighed, unbothered.

— I’m not going anywhere. 

— This guy is dangerous, okay? His weapon especially targets super powered people, you heard it.

— That is why I can’t let you go alone. If he can really hurt superheroes, I’m sure he can hurt witches with staffes too! — She argued back, hands crossed in front of her body.

— The Staff doesn’t count! Your power is engraved into your blood, Kare. It is too dangerous for you to stay. Also, I can handle him, believe me.

— I’m not saying I don’t believe you, but if you get hurt, we will be lost without you... I will be lost, Nico. — Karolina’s voice is shaking, which breaks Nico’s heart even more. 

— I won’t let that happen. But, even if it does, the team needs you to go and keep everyone else safe. You need to make sure these kids get back to their families and meet me back at the Hostel. I added an additional protection to the portal. It doesn’t let those who cross it come back here, keeping everyone safe. Please, just go. — Nico insisted, holding onto Karolina’s arms, trying to get her to listen. They are standing right in front of the portal right now, its purple energy beaming so strongly Nico needs to put a lot of effort into properly seeing Karolina’s face.

— Nico, no! I’m not leaving you behind, especially with no way of getting back to you. — Karolina firmly denied, sounding terrified with the idea.

— Karie, that’s not leaving me, that’s following a plan. Trust me, I would never not come back to you. 

— I do trust you. I just can’t-

 Nico stops her mid-sentence, hands gripping around her shoulders as she presses their lips together, hard and sharp. It’s not like their usual kisses, it’s not soft or slow or loving, it’s desperate and rough, just Nico sealing them together one more time before she does what has to be done.

— I love you, Karolina. Don’t forget that.

— I love-

— Also, I’m sorry. — Nico whispers, before using her tight grip on Karie’s shoulders to push her through the portal. 

— Nico! No, don’t you dare! I swear-

 Karolina’s furious scream is cut out by the portal closing.

— Please, don’t go too hard on me for this, Karie. — Nico begged the empty space her girlfriend was in until a moment ago, before turning on her heels to face her target.

§ - § 

 When Nico makes her way back to the Hostel almost an hour later, Molly is the first person to throw herself at her. Soon enough, she’s being passed around, from Alex to Gert to Chase and, finally, to receive a friendly tap from Old Lace’s tail.

 Karolina is the last one in her arms, holding her so tight Nico loses sense of everything around them for a moment. 

— Are you okay? Are you hurt, what happened? — Karolina fired the questions quickly, hands scanning her body, looking for any injuries.

— I’m fine, really. Not hurt, just really tired. — Nico assures her, trying to sound light.

— Did you catch the guy? — Chase asked next, curious.

— Yes, I did. He had a weapon that was quite powerful, but it wasn’t capable of all the things that he was told about. Someone tricked him, apparently. It could cause a lot of damage, but not to the point of harming superpowered people. I mean, at least that’s what I understood from the cops’ talks after they took him away. — Nico explained, hand rushing through her hair, trying to keep it off her face. 

— So I left for nothing? Damn it, I could have kicked his ass. — Molly complained, disappointed.

— It wasn’t for nothing! Nico made the right call. If this guy had the gun he claimed to, you could be dead right now just for crossing his way. — Gert refuted, arms around her sister in a tight embrace. Nico nodded softly to her as a way of thanking the support and Gert smiled back.

— Better to be safe than sorry. — Alex added, to Molly’s further disappointment.

— Whatever, I guess. — She muttered, arms crossed.

— Still, it took all of my energy to get him and his thugs to step down. I’m really drained. — Nico explained, breathing still irregular even now.

 As their friends discussed the night’s unexpected turn of events and planned a brunch for the next day to make up for tonight’s disaster, Karolina took the chance to lock Nico in another hug, still not saying much, appearing to be just taking in her presence.

— We will… Huh, leave you to it? — Chase suggests, his voice nothing but background noise to Nico as she buries her head in Kare’s shoulder, relief washing over her. In a moment, all her friends have dispersed through the Hostel and Karolina is taking a step away from her, cleaning her throat.

— Kare, I-

— Let’s not do this here. — Kare asks, indicating the stairs with her head. 

— Okay. Sure. — Nico complies, not sure of what to do, but still quietly following Karolina as she took them to their old bedroom. 

 Once they get there, Karolina closes the door and walks to the center of the room, nervously standing there. Karolina seems to gather herself for what she’s about to say. When she talks again, her tone is so sharp Nico feels as if her heart is being split in half.

— You’re unbelievable, Nico. What you did- I don’t even know what the hell to tell you. I was so scared for you, even more than I was mad. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you!

 Nico knows Karolina needs to get her anger out, knows she has every right to be pissed at her, but she’s too tired, too broken to do anything other than let her body take over.

 Her feet move before she even takes notice of them, arms enlacing Karolina’s waist, head fitting right under her chin.

 She listens to Karolina’s heartbeat, furiously beating because of what she did.

 Somehow, Nico is just really glad it’s even beating at all. Nico knows she put herself in danger more than anyone else in the team today, but she finds herself realizing the thing that terrified her the most was Karolina getting hurt. She didn’t think twice, didn’t hesitate, before throwing herself in the unknown, if that meant getting Karie to a safe place.

 Nico would rather do it a thousand times again if that meant Karolina would be waiting for her on the other side of it. Even if they fought, argued and screamed. 

 Karolina was all there was, as usual.

— I love you, Karolina Dean. — Nico whispers.

 Karie sighed, hands coming to tangle among the heavy locks of Nico’s hair. 

— I love you too. — Kare says it back. — I’m still mad though.

— I know. I’m sorry-

 Nico stops, breathes one time. Then, another. She runs what she’s about to say through her mind again and again. 

 Karolina waits for her, as she always does, even through Nico’s worst moments.

— I’m sorry I pushed you away. — Nico apologizes, taking enough distance for Karolina just to take a better look at her face. — I’m sorry I made you feel so worried for me, but I’m not sorry for what I did.

 Karolina is clearly confused, but still pays attention to Nico. Now, she is looking down to face her as well, which would annoy Nico if it came from anyone else, since she hates feeling so small, but it’s always quite endearing when Karie does it. The difference is that Karolina does it to make sure she never misses a single movement Nico makes, she stares at her as if Nico is something precious… Something marvelous. When Kare bows down to touch her face, when she pulls Nico towards her, it’s never patronizing… Quite the opposite actually: Every time Karolina touches Nico, she feels unchained.

 That is the one thing that prompts Nico to be truly honest about the reasoning behind her actions tonight.

— I'm not sorry for doing something stupid to keep you safe. I’m not sorry for putting you first. I’m only sorry for not letting you in. I just need you to understand that I will never stop trying to get you home safe. No matter what it takes. I promise to include you in that, though. It was shitty of me to just push you through the portal. I panicked and didn’t take the time to talk with you or respect your choice, and that’s all on me. I shouldn’t have been so reckless and stupid. — Nico was out of breath when she finished talking and Karolina was still surprisingly quiet. — Kare? Do you need some time to think? I can leave, I know you sometimes like being alone after stuff like this.

 Nico moves to leave, but Kare’s hand clasps around her wrist. She feels more than sees her body being snatched against the other woman. Karolina kisses her the way Nico has been dying to be kissed throughout this whole nightmare of a night. 

 This time, there’s no threats, fears or risks. This time, it’s just the two of them.

 When Karolina clutches Nico’s jacket and throws it across their room, she knows that means Kare was craving the same comfort from her. In a matter of seconds, Nico has gripped onto Karolina’s shirt and pulled it over her girlfriend’s head. 

 Kare knows Nico’s body as much as her own at this point, so it doesn’t take much time for her to get Nico’s shirt off and clash the two of them against their bed. Karolina’s hair is falling in a cascade, tingling Nico’s neck, but she is too busy kissing every inch of skin Kare has exposed to care. 

 Karolina is over her, but she’s also everywhere around Nico, light consuming their surroundings. Nico could watch her for the rest of her life without ever getting tired. More than that, she wants to spend forever getting to see Karolina like this, no walls up, just hopelessly opening up to Nico.

 It never fails to amaze Nico that she’s the one doing this to Karolina. That it is all her, darkness and brokenness and all, making Kare lose all control, disclosing herself in the most breathtaking way possible.

 Karolina desperately reaches for her, as if she will die if Nico isn’t closer. There’s nothing else in Nico’s mind once Kare touches her like that. 

 All there is in the world is Kare’s warmth washing over her, erasing every bit of pain and despair this night had caused.

§ - § 

 It’s pitch dark when Nico talks again, her head laying in Karolina’s chest, the two of them laying together in bed, Kare’s arms around her.

— I’m not one to repeat myself, but I really felt awful for shutting you out like that.

— I know.. I could tell it as soon as you did it. 

— I’m predictable, after all.

— Only to me. — Karolina scoffs, making Nico laugh. 

— I still feel like an idiot, though. — Nico confesses, causing Karolina to answer in a rather frenetic manner.

— You are not an idiot- Damn it, Nico. You’re everything, don’t you see? — Her voice is nothing but a whisper, but Nico still listens to it perfectly, years of secretive talkings like those preparing her to understand Karolina in any situation possible. — I can’t function without you, I can’t think, I can’t live if you’re not there. The worst part is that I’m so mad at you for doing something this crazy to protect me, but I would have done the same. I did before. Hell, I will probably do it again. 

— I get it, Kare, trust me, I do.

— I'm not sure you do, babe. — Karolina disagrees, fingers coming to trace the curve of Nico’s neck. — I was raised to obey, to comply. I was taught that to love someone meant to be loyal beyond reason. With you, though, it is the opposite of that. I don’t follow your lead because I’m forced to do it. I do so because I trust you. I put myself in risk every time you’re in danger because I can’t imagine not having you there, even though I know you would never ask that from me. I think I love you even more because I know you wouldn’t.

 Nico is not one to be left speechless, yet every single time Karolina tells her things like that, as if they’re a matter of fact, as if Nico is even deserving of that type of love, she takes a moment to convince herself this is real: that Nico is the one she loves, the only one she wants.

 So, she figures she might as well try to make Karie feel that same way.

— Marry me, Karolina. — Nico tells her, eyes locking into hers as Kare’s breath catches, shock written all over her face. — Marry me and stay with me. Fight me and love me and never leave. You’re my light, Karie. You’re my heart. I don’t want to wait any longer to ask you this. So… Will you marry me?

 As Karolina takes in the unexpected words, Nico’s heart desperately beats, terrified of what is about to come.

— Do you know that, when I fly, I can’t always see what’s ahead of me? — Karolina questions, confusing Nico, that doesn’t understand where she is going with this. Still, she’s smiling adorably, which warms Nico’s heart despite how nervous she feels.— The clouds blur my vision and I need to trust my instincts to make sure I’m not going to hit anything. I was terrified of getting hurt or falling at the beginning, but, over time, I realized that flying was part of me, that my body knew exactly what to do, even if my mind couldn’t quite understand it. My body can take over every sharp turn, every last minute deviant, before any thought crosses my mind. It's my nature.

 She stops and the look she gives Nico is so full of love that she can’t find it in herself to panic over the fact she just proposed to Karolina out of the blue. Nico listens attentively as she continues, heart pondering in her chest with every word out of Kare’s mouth.

— That’s how I feel about you. You’re my nature. I have always known you, every part of my body did, even when my mind hadn’t caught up just yet. I always knew you, Nico, more than that, I always loved you, for all the things that terrified you and amazed me. So, yes, I will marry you. I will stay with you and I will never leave because being apart from you is denying my own nature and I won’t ever do this to myself again.

 Kare is crying now and Nico notices she is too. Karolina’s hands are shaking when she holds onto Nico's face. She kisses her, her lips, her cheeks, her nose, her chin. Somehow, through the tears, Nico is also laughing, never getting tired of the soft feeling of Kare’s lips on her. 

— You’re all I have ever wanted my whole life. Sometimes I still can’t believe I have you. — Kare utters, one last kiss being laid at Nico’s forehead.

— You do. Kare, you always had me. — Nico moves fast to lay a leg on each side of Kare’s body. She holds Karolina’s delicate face in her hands, the look of awe in her eyes almost burning through her heart. — It’s just official now.

 — You really are everything, Nico. You really are. — That’s the last thing Karolina says before leaning forward to capture her lips again. 

 Just like that, Kare manages to surround Nico with her presence once more. 

 There she is again: Nico’s light in the dark, now and for the rest of their lives.

[ruzek-halstead]

this thing

pairing: luke patterson x julie molina

julie's new assignment in her music program is to write a duet with a partner. her partner? nick.

a simple fic all about a jealous luke patterson.

“is it terrible that i want you all to myself?”

masterlist || ao3

When Caleb’s curse was broken, and Luke could finally touch Julie, he thought that everything would change.

It was no secret to anyone that they had a connection; it was evident in everything they did. And after their emotional embrace when they thought it was the end, he thought nothing else could go wrong. This was where he was meant to be, with Julie and his best friends by his side.

He was wrong.

Things slowly went back to normal. They continued playing local gigs, and Luke and Julie continued writing songs together. It was different now. They could touch each other, but they weren’t sure how to go about it. They mostly stuck to light touches; shoulders pressing on the piano bench, fingers brushing against each other or Luke throwing an arm around her shoulders when he got super excited about something.

It was a slow going process, but he was working on it.

Well, he was trying. But every time he made some progress, a roadblock would always come up.

Julie’s new assignment in her music program included writing a song; she had to write a duet with a partner.

“A duet?” Luke snorted. “Perfect. We can write one right now.”

Julie shot him an awkward smile, patting his arm so he halted on the piano keys. “No,” she explained. “I have to write a duet with a partner from my class.”

“Oh,” Alex exclaimed, wondering why she looked so nervous. “Are we finally going to hear a Double Trouble original?”

She laughed nervously. “No,” she repeated again.

“I can’t be the only confused one right now,” Reggie replied, “how is this conversation taking so long?”

Luke looked up at her from his position on the piano bench. “Yeah Jules, what’s going on?”

“My partner is Nick!” She exclaimed in one large breath.

Alex dropped one of his drumsticks, Reggie tripped over his amp cord and Luke pressed down harshly on the piano keys, resulting in a cringe from the whole band.

It was something out of a movie, honestly.

“Oh,” Luke murmured. ‘Oh’ is something you say when you are gifted socks, but he honestly couldn’t think of anything else to say. “That sounds uh — like fun. Sounds like fun.”

Alex was sharing a look with Reggie, as Julie avoided Luke’s eye contact.

“Uh — when are you guys doing that?” Alex asked, trying to keep the conversation alive. It was too late; it was already way past the point of awkward.

Julie busied herself with grabbing her songbook. “He should be here soon, actually. Do you think you guys could — uh, disappear?”

Luke wasn’t expecting that to hurt as much as it did.

“Uh, yeah, we can do that,” he replied in a clipped tone. He moved away from the piano, grabbed his acoustic and shot a pointed look to Alex and Reggie. “Come on boys, let’s disappear.”

He didn’t wait for a reply from Julie to poof away.

Alex shot her an apologetic smile. “Sorry. We’ll catch you later.”

Reggie wished her the best with the song and they both poofed away.

x

Julie wasn’t completely clueless. She could tell that Luke was a little bit put off by her news, and while she wasn’t entirely sure what that meant, she knew that wasn’t normal Luke behaviour. Unfortunately, her mind was a little too preoccupied with Nick and the current song they had to write.

She was honest with Nick. She told him she had feelings for someone else, and he understood that. And now she had to write a duet with him? Most likely a love song? That just made things weird. And confusing.

But to her surprise, things actually went much better than expected.

She was used to writing songs with Luke, and only Luke; so, this was a completely new experience, but it wasn’t unwelcome. Nick was fun and understanding, and didn’t push her. Now that their feelings were out of the way, she could really see herself becoming great friends with Nick.

But then Luke poofed into the studio unexpectedly, and she wasn’t so sure.

Julie and Nick were sitting on the piano bench, and she was playing with the keys, trying to find a suitable melody. Luke was hoping Nick would be gone by now, but instead he was faced with Nick, in his place next to Julie.

It lit a fire inside of him.

“Well, isn’t this cute?” Luke exclaimed, a slight tease of sarcasm in his tone. “How’s the song going?”

Julie shot him a tense smile while Nick was looking down at her fingers splayed over the piano keys.

“Oh, right,” he smirked, “you can’t talk to me while Nicky-poo is here, or else he’ll think you’re a little crazy.”

Julie shook him off, focusing on the notes she was playing.

“So, what kind of song is it?” Luke was suddenly right beside her, in between her and Nick. She rolled her eyes, trying to refocus once again. “Does Nick even know how to play the piano? He looks pretty clueless.”

She huffed in frustration and caught Nick’s attention.

“Hey, are you okay?” He asked, looking at her in concern. Luke appeared beside him, mimicking his expression.

Julie gritted her teeth together. “Yeah, sorry, I’m fine,” she explained, “I just have this horrible, annoying headache that won’t seem to go away.”

Luke placed a hand over his heart and pulled a frown. “That hurts, Julie,” he pouted, “but not as much as this. Does he really think these are good song lyrics?” He was looking over Nick’s shoulder, at the lines he’d scribbled into a notebook. “Jules, you can’t be serious.”

Her fingers pressed extra harshly on the keys. “Is he trying to write you a love song?” Luke gasped, crowding her space now. “Is Nicky-poo trying to express his love for you in a song? Is he really trying to do that with these lyrics? Because honestly, they’re worse than Reggie’s country so—“

“Oh my god!” Julie exploded, smashing down on the piano keys. The constant buzzing in her ears coming from Luke caused her to snap and within seconds, she was turning to Nick apologetically. “Oh my god,” she added, softer this time, “I’m so sorry. I —“

Nick shook his head, smiling politely. “No, it’s alright. I think I should go. We can meet up some other time.”

Julie watched him go helplessly. “Okay — I’m sorry.”

“Don’t sweat it Jules, see you at school.”

Luke hopped onto the piano as Nick closed the door to the garage. “Finally, he’s gone! Honestly Julie, I think you can do better. Also, why is he calling you Jules? That’s reserved for the band only. Oh, and Flynn.”

Julie trained her murderous glare onto the boy sitting obliviously on the piano. “Luke, what the hell?”

“What?” He asked her thoughtlessly, reaching for his journal and flipping to a blank page. “We should really start on this new song; we have a show on Friday and the phantoms are expecting some new material. I think Flynn —“

“No Luke, what the hell?”

He just blinked at her.

“You knew we were writing a song! Why did you come back here?”

Luke merely shrugged. “I thought you guys were done.”

“And then when you realized we weren’t done, why didn’t you leave?” She asked angrily. He seemed so oblivious and nonchalant; it was starting to drive her crazy.

“This was just too precious to miss,” he smirked. “Plus, I figured you’d need help writing that song. No one does it like us, and his lyrics sucked.”

Julie stood up from the piano bench and started pacing. “Why are you being so mean? You don’t even know Nick.”

“I don’t need to,” he shrugged, “he’s clearly just into you and using this as an excuse to hit on you.”

She sent him a confused look. “What are you even talking about? Nick and I are just friends!”

“Sure,” he snorted, refusing to make eye contact.

Julie stopped in her tracks, turning to him with an amused, yet nervous expression. “Luke, are you — are you jealous?”

Luke’s head snapped up and his hazel eyes narrowed. “Jealous?”

“Yeah, jealous!” She argued. “You showed up here when you knew I was busy with him, you insulted him I don’t know how many times and you basically drove me crazy until I drove him away!”

Luke pursed his lips. “That sounds like a you problem.” Julie raised an eyebrow. “I learned that from Alex. You know what else I learned? He taught me what a ‘simp’ is but honestly, I really don’t get it —“

“Why are you changing the subject?” Julie asked in a demanding tone. She moved in front of him, where he was perched on top of the piano. “You’re acting like a jealous bo—“

Luke’s eyebrows raised up underneath his fringe. “Like a jealous what?”

“Like a jealous boyfriend!” Julie exploded. She threw her arms up in frustration, nearly hitting his knee.

Luke rolled his eyes and slipped around her and off the piano. “Okay, Julie,” he frowned, “I am not jealous. I just have a duty to save the world from terrible lyrics.”

“I was writing the song too. Are you calling my lyrics terrible?”

Luke furrowed his brows, pausing in his stride. “Wait, no. That’s not what I said.”

“Terrible lyrics. That’s what you said.”

“Yes, okay. That’s what I said but not what I meant,” he replied, looking extremely confused. “This conversation is getting away from me.”

Julie rolled her eyes, grabbing her songbook and heading for the door. “Good, because I’m finished with it.”

“Wait, wait — Julie,” Luke groaned, rushing to move in front of her and block her exit. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Julie pursed her lips and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Okaaaay,” he dragged out, the corner of his lips quirking up nervously. “That’s obviously not good enough.”

He waited for her to say something and sighed when she didn’t.

“Okay, yes, I was jealous,” he huffed, avoiding eye contact. “I just thought — I thought you were over him and I thought there was something here. You know,” he mumbled, motioning between the two of them, “between us.”

“Luke,” Julie sighed, “Nick and I really are just friends. He asked me out and I said no, and he’s okay with that. We’re solely working on our assignment.”

Luke nodded, meeting her eyes in an awkward glance. “Oh.”

“You have no reason to be jealous,” she grinned, “you’re still my favourite song writing partner.”

He puffed out his chest, leaning back against the door with a charming smile. “I better be.”

They spent the next moment staring into each other’s eyes.

“I’m sorry I acted like an idiot,” Luke apologized quietly. “Is it terrible that I want you all to myself?”

Julie rolled her eyes, attempting to mask her sudden shyness. “Not when you say it like that.”

“I promise I’ll be on my best behaviour for your next writing session,” he replied with a cheeky smile; Julie raised an eyebrow. “Right, yes. I’ll be sure to be nowhere near here.”

Julie shook her head, laughing and pushing against Luke’s shoulder as she walked away. It was still unusual to be able to touch him, even for little things like shoulder touches. But now that she could, it happened without her even thinking about it.

“But seriously, can we write our song now? I’m feeling extra inspired.”

Julie rolled her eyes, but made her way to her seat beside him on the piano bench where he was waiting expectantly. “Why is that?”

“Because I have this thing with this really beautiful girl, and I think it’s about time we wrote a proper song about it.”

[sunnydaisy1]

Med Students

JACKSON AVERY X OC  (nr i just found it easier to write with a set name)

A/N: I have been watching too much grey’s atm and I know i have lots of requests to write and a wattpad story to update but the Jackson inspiration is too much ahhh.

I walked through the halls beside Alex as we made our way to the reception. Apparently we had all been paged and we didnt know what for. As we entered the large area, I saw all the residents gathered and I squeezed passed a few people until I reached Jackson and Mer. "Hey guys what's going on?" I asked, pulling Karev away from Arizona. "Fresh meat." Jackson said, nodding towards the line of sweating students. I grinned, nudging Jacksons arm, "oh how fun." He rolled his eyes but a small smile played on his lips as he turned his attention to Chief Webber. "Alright people today we are joined by a group of first year medical students who you will be supervising." He spoke, giving us all a stern look to silence the mumbles of disgust. "Your surgeries are their surgeries so look after them and try to be nice please. Oh and I will be choosing a chief resident soon so behave. Dr Grey will read out who you have been designated." Alex mumbled something beside me which caused Mer to slap him hard and I sighed, knowing this was going to be a long day. Lexie stepped forward, holding a clipboard and scanned the room for silence before proceeding. "Okay Marcus is with April." April waved and the med student headed over to her, leaving for rounds. I glanced up at Jackson who was furrowing his eyebrows. My gaze turned back to the pale interns and Lexie. "Meredith has Helen, Christina has David." The two med students walked over nervously and I laughed at Christina's merciless glare. There was 1 pretty girl left who I could tell was eyeing Alex up. "Dibs." Alex called, nudging Jackson and I rolled my eyes at their boyish behaviour. "No fair." Jackson said, shoving Karev back. "You fancy Ma.." Alex started but Jackson elbowed him in the side and I turned round, shaking my head. They both looked at me sheepishly and I turned back round as Lexie announced who Alex was going with. "Alex you're with Lydia." He triumphantly clapped Jackson on the back before heading over to his newfound 'love.' I patted Jackson's back, "Looks like you've either got the greasy dork or mr handsome." Jackson frowned down at me, "mr handsome?" I poked his cheek as Lexie continued to read out the other residents students, "not talking 'bout you." Jackson gave me a lopsided grin as he turned back to face Lex. "Maddie you're with Sam." A tall brunette stepped forward, a handsome grin on his face. "Greasy dork it is." I said to Jackson, walking off to meet my student. I heard him sigh which made me grin as I stopped in front of Sam. "Hey I'm Maddie, you must be Sam." I extended my hand out to him and he smoothly shook it. "Nice to meet you Maddie." I smiled at him and started walking off in the direction of Trauma. "Okay so today we will be under Dr Hunt who is head of Trauma. If you have any questions dont be afraid to ask but try not to get in anyones way." Sam nodded, "okay ma'am." He grinned at me as we stopped outside the ER. "It can be a little shocking seeing a proper trauma in real life for the first time so if you need to step out just do it." Sam nodded as my face turned serious. 

I stepped backwards, opening the door to the ER and walking through the the small corridor that led to the ambulance bay. "Okay we need to put on these yellow gowns and then we are good to go." I said, tossing Sam a large yellow gown. I spotted Jackson walking through the ER doors and I smiled inwardly at his pained expression, probably from his pestering student behind him. I unfolded my over gown and pulled it on, nodding at Sam who was tying his up. I was struggling to sort out the crumpled part at the back when I felt a pair of warm hands move mine away and I turned round and smiled at Jackson who grinned at me and finished tying a bow with the strings. I blushed slightly and walked over to Hunt and Torres with Sam beside me. "Morning all." I said, peering at the two grave attendings beside me. They grunted in return. I felt a nudge beside me, "hm?" I asked, preoccupied with watching Jackson cross his arms over his chest. "Is that one over there your boyfriend?" Sam asked and I blushed, quickly averting my gaze back to my smirking student. "What? No!" I said, frowning. "Okay cool." He continued before looking around at the ambulance bay. JACKSONS POV "Hey uh Dr Avery?" The greasy med student beside me asked as I watched Maddie talk to Sam and giggle on the other side of Hunt. "Yeh?" I asked curtly, fed up with this guys constant questions. "Is the ambulance coming?" He said, pushing his glasses back up his nose. I narrowed my eyes at him and titled my head to look at him, "yes." I said aggressively and James nodded, fiddling with his yellow gown. "Who's uh..who's the resident over there?" James asked, trying to continue the conversation. "Maddie." I responded, tensing as mr handsome nudged her. "Oh okay." He nodded and my attention was snagged from Maddie and her flirting student to the blaring sirens of an ambulance pulling up into the bay. Hunt and Torres stepped forward as the paramedics stepped out the doors and lifted the patient down. "Amanda Hart, 45 years old, multiple burns on her left arm and a large gash on both her legs, possible fracture on the left femur." The medic stated, helping us wheel her into the ER. I felt James shuffle beside me, awkwardly moving around the gurney. "Dude move out the way." I grunted, frustration clouding my brain. Hunt glanced over at me and I cringed, I really needed to impress all the attendings if I'm gonna be chief resident. When we had wheeled Mrs Hart into a bay and transferred her to a hospital gurney, I glanced up at Maddie who was working furiously, sanitizing the wound on the patients right leg. I shook my head to clear it and focused on the patient who was screaming in pain. MADDIES POV When we had finally given some pain meds to Mrs Hart and the bleeding was under control and she had an MRI, I sat on a stool alongside her arm where she needed a few stitches. Sam was listening to Torres explain something about a dislocated shoulder and Jackson's student was standing close beside him on the other side of the room as he finished suturing a young man. "Almost done Mrs Hart." I said sweetly to the middle aged woman watching me. "Thank you sweetie, you're a real star." She replied as I tied off the thread. I smiled at her and stood up, walking over to Hunt. "Need anything sir?" I asked, the ER was kinda slow today and I didnt want to spend all of today stitching up people, plus Sam should get a full insight of a hospital. "Uh no thanks Johnson, if you're looking for something interesting to show your med student you could observe in OR 2, Sloan's building some cheek bones." I nodded, grinning and heading over to Sam who was laughing alongside Callie. "Hey Maddie." Sam said, smiling broadly. "I've finished Mrs Harts sutures and I was wondering if you wanted to come see cheek bones being constructed?" I said nonchalantly as if I hadn't just suggested going to see a really cool surgery. "Really? Oh my god please." Sam said, gobsmacked. I nodded, "yep, go tell Dr Avery and his student, I think they've finished with their patient." Sam grinned and walked over to Jackson. "You know if you totally didnt fancy the crap out of Avery you could go hook up with Sam right now." Callie suddenly said as I watched my favourite resident talk to Sam. "Wait what?" I asked, turning my attention the the grinning Mexican. "might want to wait til after work though, if the chief found out that would be messy." I stared wide eyed at Callie, "wh..how?..howd you know I like Jackson?" The grinning attending turned towards me, "you told alex and alex told arizona who told mark who told me, word travels fast around this hospital Maddie." I gaped at her gobsmacked, shocked that all those people knew, I was gonna kill Alex. "Oh and the fact that you two never stop eye-fucking each other across the room." Callie added and walked off leaving me embarassed and blushing. I tried to act normal as I walked across the room to Sam. "Ready to go?" I asked and he nodded enthusiastically. "Wait hang on, dont leave without me." I heard Jackson pipe up behind me before placing his hands on my shoulders. "Alrighty then let's go." We walked quickly to OR 2, Sam and the student who's name I learned was James walked a little ahead, chatting about what they had seen today. "Hows Mr handsome?" Jackson asked beside me, his piercing green eyes glinting with humour. "Good, not that annoying and easy on the eyes." I responded, grinning at my fellow resident. "Oh lucky you." Jackson said, grumbling, "greasy mcdorkface over there wont shut the hell up." I laughed and shoved him slightly, causing a shit-eating grin to spread over his face. "Meanie." I said, glancing up at Jackson. "I'm not the mean one you called him a greasy dork first." He replied, crossing his arms over his chest in victory. "Yeah but we're all dorks so doesn't really count." I said, my side brushing against Jacksons. "I'm not a dork." He said defensively and I chuckled, "sure you're not Avery." "You're more dorky than me." Jackson poked me and I grinned at him, "that's why you love me." Jackson beamed and watched Sam and James stop outside OR 2. "I'll ask Sloan if we can watch." I said, walking past the two students and holding a mask over my mouth. I noticed Alex and Lydia standing very close together opposite Mark and I rolled my eyes, "Hey Dr Sloan do you mind if Jackson and our students watch the surgery?" Mark looked up at me from the patient and grinned cheekily, "depends if you and avery are gonna watch the surgery or undress each other with your eyes." I felt my face heat up and I glared at Alex who was grinning amused across the room. "Uh no." I replied, avoiding the gazes of the nurses. Mark nodded, "then you can come in." I walked back to the door and nodded, letting Sam, James and Jackson into the room, each now wearing a mask. JACKSONS POV We watched Sloan's surgery for 2 hours before Maddie got paged to the ER and I got paged to Bailey. James and I were walking out of OR 2, discarding our masks when the awkward student spoke up, "that was really cool." I nodded, trying to be a little nicer to him, "yeah it was, plastics is really interesting and Sloans a great surgeon." James nodded and walked alongside me down to the nurses station. "Is Maddie your girlfriend?" He asked suddenly out of the blue and I scoffed, "no." James frowned and adjusted his glasses, "do you want her to be?" I glanced at the dorky man beside me and chuckled a little at his attempt to get me to like him. "That's a yes then." James answered, smiling a little at my amused expression. "Yeah." I smiled at him as we turned the corner to the Nurses station. "You know if you fancy her you should just tell her, I think she likes you as well." James said, following me to the chart rack. "What?" I asked, confused why he would think that. "She likes you back Dr Avery. She kept on looking at you when we were in surgery and Sam told me she never stops talking about you." James continued, making me frown. "Thanks mate but I'm not so sure." I replied and James shrugged as we walked over to Bailey, arms laden with charts. Bailey brought me to check up on some post op patients and let James do a few checks himself. I couldnt stop thinking about what he said and I was looking forward to having lunch in a bit when I could see Maddie again. MADDIES POV Sam and I left Mark's OR after 3 and a half hours to grab food and let him go for lunch with the rest of his fellow students. "I think you guys are having lunch in the canteen with us." I said, leading Sam to the loud room filled with doctors. "Cool." He replied, walking closely beside me. We entered the canteen and I saw the rest of the residents sitting on a table in the middle with their students sitting a few tables away. I walked over with Sam to get a plate of food and followed him towards the students table where Alex happened to be sitting beside his pretty student. JACKSONS POV I watched as Maddie collected her food alongside Sam, smiling and laughing with him before heading towards his table. "Whys she over there with him?" I asked, absent mindedly eating my sandwich. "Why jealous?" Christina grinned at me triumphantly and I scoffed, glaring at her, "No." Mer chuckled as she slurped on her milkshake. I looked over again to Maddie who was now standing beside Sam's seat, talking to the table of students. "That dude's been flirting with her all morning." I grumbled, chewing on my straw. "Jackson stop being a wimp and just ask her out." Lexie spoke up from across the table. "Urgh no, I've tried before and she ends up inviting one of you guys." I replied, slumping in my seat and shooting daggers in the back of Sam's head. "Well then you just need to clarify it's a date. Maddie's a bit oblivious to stuff like that Jackson." Lexie continued, smiling at my distraught appearance. "What if she doesn't like me back, then i've ruined our friendship completely." I added, miserably picking at my plate.  "Oh grow a pair avery." Christina said, making me roll my eyes at her as Maddie walked over. "Hey guys." She said sweetly, sitting beside me in the empty seat I had saved for her. I grunted in response, intent on picking at my sandwich. "What's up with you?" She asked, nudging me and frowning adorably. I bit into my sandwich and mumbled, "nothin." Maddie shrugged and started chatting with Lexie about the med students and Mark's surgery. I continued to stay in a grump, mulling over how Maddie was gonna reject me when I asked her out later. I was fiddling with the lid of my drink when Maddie whispered to me, "Hey Jackson you okay?" I nodded and continued to listen absent mindedly to Christina complaining. "You sure cos you seem a little sad." Maddie continued, nudging my shoulder with hers. My heart fluttered at her sweet actions and I just nodded, mumbling "I'm fine." Maddie seemed to accept this but placed her blueberry muffin on my tray anyway, knowing it would cheer me up a little. I smiled slightly at her and she grinned back, now trying to make Christina see sense about her Cardio problems. TIME SKIP TO END OF DAY MADDIES POV Everyone was in a bit of a mood now after their review from their med student delivered by the Chief. My review was excellent so I wasnt annoyed but the depressing atmosphere in the residents lounge was starting to get to me. Everyone was already changed but I was still in my pale blue scrubs as Callie had needed my assistance on a surgery 10 minutes ago. I opened my locker before taking my scrub shirt off, placing it on the side and pulling my long sleeved top over my head. I turned around to get my jeans and when I faced back around, jackson was making his way across the room to me. I pulled my scrub pants off and tossed them to the side with my top, yanking on my jeans. Jackson leaned on the locker beside mine as I buttoned up my pants. "What's up?." I said, discarding my scrubs into the bin at the end. I reached into my locker to collect my stuff and looked at the green eyed boy expectantly. "Uh I was urm wondering if you wanted to go uh.. to go to Joe's with me?" He stuttered and I nodded, piling my stuff into my bag and pulling on my coat, "oh yeah sure, I need to talk to Mer about something anyway." Jackson took a step towards me as I closed my locker and put my keys in my pocket. "Urh no not urm not like that." He said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "What?" I said confused, frowning up at him. "Urm like a uh like a date." He continued and I frowned even more, confused as to what the hell he was talking about. "A date with Mer?" I asked puzzled, "Jackson shes marri..." I started but he placed his hands on my shoulders and laughed, making me smile slightly confused. "No a date with me idiot." I instantly felt my face heat up and I felt like an utter dork, "oh." I nervously looked into Jacksons eyes and felt my heart beat rapidly in my chest, "uh yeah, yeah I'd like that." I replied, tucking my hair behind my ear. Jackson grinned at me and I felt a wide smile spread out on my own face, still hot with adrenaline. We stayed grinning at each other and I glanced down to his mouth and back up, scanning his slightly blushing face. Jackson took a step forward, leaning down slightly and I felt the world whoosh around me, all sound and movement blocked out apart from the man in front of me. He stopped an inch away from my face, looking directly at my lips, I could feel his cool breath fanning over me. He looked up into my eyes, his green ones shining. "Can I kiss you?" He breathed out, eyes flicking between my eyes. I nodded slightly, not trusting myself to speak. 

At once, I felt Jackson's plump warm lips press against mine, pushing me back slightly as he cupped my jaw and cheek. My eyes fluttered closed and I relaxed into his kisses, kissing him back softly. I reached behind his neck and hooked my arms over his shoulders, deepening the kiss. I felt his left hand snake down to my waist, brushing under my tshirt and to the waistband of my jeans as he ran his tongue over my bottom lip. I moaned slightly and opened my mouth, letting him slip his tongue in. He brought his hand further round my back, moving his warm hands against the bare skin. I continued to kiss him passionately, feeling the rising temperature in the room. Jackson ran a hand along the front of my waist and his fingers dipped slightly under my jeans waistband. I moaned slightly in response but pulled away, not wanting to get too far ahead of myself. I kept my eyes closed and rested my forehead against his, "I dont want to get carried away." I whispered, breathing heavily. I opened my eyes to see Jackson looking down at me, his green eyes shining. "Let's go." He said, taking my hand in his and placing a gentle kiss on my lips.

[change-the-world-someday]

Northern Downpour

Anonymous asks:

15. “Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you?” With Hotch? Platonic and Gn reader. Please and thank you. P.s I absolutely adore your writing!! You are so unbelievably talented it’s jarring! Have an amazing week, I love you my pretty. - 🌿

A/N: Actually one of the sweetest things anyone’s ever said to me. Thank you, you’re very kind :)

Aaron Hotchner x GN!Teen!Reader

Summary: After a hard day at school, that last thing you want is for the BAU to see you. But, you need to meet your uncle, and everyone knows things aren’t as they seem...

⚠️TW⚠️ Bullying.

Masterlist

—•—

It's been a long day, only made longer by the sound of the clock ticking, counting down the minutes until your final period, biology, finishes. Your teacher, Mr Anderson, drones on about sampling techniques and random number generators, something you really couldn't give a shit about.

You just want to leave and head to Quantico, meet up with your uncle, Aaron, and grab some cheap takeout. It's your monthly tradition.

You moved in with Aaron a few months ago, the circumstances of which are not the best. You father was deemed unfit to take care of you, and since your mum died when giving birth to you, you were put under the custody of your uncle. You had a chance to start over, so you did. You cut your hair, changed your style, and made new friends.

However, with new friends, come new enemies.

For you, said enemy is one Alex Darcy, a linebacker for the school's football team. He thinks he's the shit and at the top of the food chain. He also has a power complex and it's blatantly obvious to you. It's seen in the way Alex carries himself, the way he talks to every popular girl with a pulse...

...and the way he picks on you.

You tap your foot, drumming your pen against your notebook, watching the second's hand move, slower and slower.

The bell rings.

You rush to collect your things, desperately stuffing your pencil case and notebook into your bag. Maybe, if you’re fast enough, you can miss Alex and get the earlier train to Quantico. Aaron knows you get to the bullpen at half-four, or four if you get the earlier train.

You almost run out the classroom and down the hall, thankful for the lack of crowd, but it doesn't last wrong. The hallways fill with a mix of sweat and Axe body spray and you keep your head down, avoiding anyone.

If you can just make it to the station.

You’re stopped. A hand grabs your bag, pulling the small handle and dragging you away. You let out a sigh, just following the taller teenager. You learned long ago to not fight Alex, as it just leads to getting beat up a lot worse. So, you just let him pull you into the disabled toilet, and before you know it, your face is on the floor.

"How was your day?" Alex asks, in this sick tone you can only imagine the unsubs your uncle catches use. You sigh and go to stand, only to feel a foot in the middle of your back, pushing you to stay on the floor.

"I. Asked. You. A. Question."

"It was...okay," you mumble, hoping to get this over and done with. As long as Alex doesn't hit you in the face, you can hide it. You don't want to admit to your uncle what's happening at school, especially when one of your new uncles, Derek, taught you a lot of self-defence.

"Just okay?" Alex asks. You nod. "Shame."

He proceeds to aim a kick at your ribs, satisfied at the cry you let out. He continues, punching and kicking you all over your body, taking delight in making you writhe in pain. That is until he changes the pattern.

He stops, giving you a moment to breathe and slowly stand up. He throws a punch at your face, making you stumble back into the tiled wall of the bathroom. Alex lets out a small laugh and gives a small 'see you on Monday' before leaving.

You sigh, a few tears falling from your eyes, and hobble over to the sink, where a mirror is. It takes you ten minutes to look at yourself in the mirror, and you gasp.

Your white t-shirt is stained with a few drops of blood, presumably from your nose, and your eye is already starting to swell and darken. You lean over the sink, turning on the cold tap and washing the stains on your face. The cool water helps soothe your face, and soon, you walk out of the bathroom and limp to the train station, which is about a ten-minute walk from your school.

People look at you a little funny, so you decide the best thing you can do is keep your head down, put your earphones in, and just get to Quantico, thinking of excuses you can come up with for your black eye and your bloody nose. It's still dribbling a little, and you periodically wipe it to stop it running onto your shirt again.

You’ll need to get a new one.

Suddenly, there's a notification interrupting your music.

Hotchie

Where are you? You're normally here by now. Is everything alright?

You let out a sigh and jab a text back as you board the train.

Y/N

Yeah. Sorry, we had to stay behind to finish a practical. Cameron was messing about again.

Twenty minutes later, you’re entering Quantico. You get through security with relative ease, since you come here every day after school, with only a few odd looks from people. Silently, you beg that they won't profile you.

Who are you kidding? Of course, they'll profile you, even if it's subconscious. It's their job, after all.

The elevator doors open and you step out. You take a deep breath and open the glass doors to the bullpen. There, JJ, Spencer, Rossi, and Emily are sitting around and talking, Aaron's in his office, and Derek and Penelope are somewhere else.

"Y/N!" Emily exclaims as she notices your entrance. You look up and are met with gasps.

"What happened?"

"Holy shit!"

"Are you alright?"

"What happened, bambino?"

Immediately, all four agents are rushing over, making you cower a little. The team immediately pick up on this, slowing down and keeping a distance.

"It's nothing," you mumble and head to the spare desk in the corner. "I don't want to talk about it."

The four agents look at each other. They don't have a good feeling about this, but they know that if they press you, you’ll close off more. Derek walks in.

"Hey, kid-woah, what happened to your face?"

You look up to meet the concerned gaze of Morgan, who's pulling 'that' face, the one where his eyebrows furrow up and his eyes glaze over a little.

"Doesn't matter," you reply and pull out your notebook and pencil case, starting on the homework you were set for the weekend. You pull your calculator out and work on some quadratic sums, figuring out the points and plotting graphs. As you zone out into your work, you fail to notice the five agents in the bullpen head to Hotch's office.

JJ knocks the door.

"Come in."

She opens the door and the four agents walk in, making Hotch stop what he's doing and look up. They've never all in his office at once. "What's going on?"

"Aaron..." JJ starts, "something happened to Y/N."

Immediately, Hotch gets up out of his chair and looks out his window, watching you work on your maths. He turns back to the team.

"What do you mean? They’re here. They told me their class was kept behind," he says.

"Well, Y/N walked in with a limp, clutching their side, and will barely look up at any of us. They have a black eye and their nose bleeding a little," Spencer explains. "I think they were beaten up. They keep brushing us off, though."

"If we push them, they might close off more," Dave joins in.

Hotch nods and looks over at you sitting at a desk. He dismisses everyone, sending them back to work, and waits five minutes before leaving his office. He signs the last bit of his paperwork and heads out, down the steps and wonders over to your desk, trying to be as ambiguous as he can. Eventually, he grabs a chair and pulls it up so he's opposite you.

"Y/N? You okay?" He asks in the quietest, softest voice he can manage. You look up and your eyes almost well with tears at Aaron's face. He looks almost distraught, the thought of anyone hurting his family too much to handle.

"'M fine," you mumble. Aaron shakes his head.

"Why don't we talk in my office, yeah?"

You shrug, and Aaron doesn't fail to notice the way you wince as you walk up the stairs. The rest of the team try their hardest not to stare, but Reid can't help himself. You remind him of himself when he was in high school.

When they reach the office, Aaron closes the door behind you and you two sit on the sofa in the corner.

"What happened?" Aaron asks. You shrug, shaking your head.

"Doesn't matter," you mumble. Aaron lets out a sigh and a long exhale through his nose. He can't get frustrated, but he can't help the tone that seeps through slightly.

"Y/N, it does matter. You're getting hurt and that's not okay," he explains. "Is this a one-time thing?"

You shake your head, seemingly unable to talk. Aaron nods.

"Okay. Is it someone in school?"

Another nod.

"Do you want me to kill that guy for you?"

You let out a small laugh, wincing a little at the sharp stabbing pain in your ribs. Aaron's eyebrows furrow and he looks you over.

"How bad is it?"

You sigh. "Erm, my...my ribs hurt, and my leg, and my face."

"Okay. How about we get you patched up, I'll order takeout and include the team, Jack and Beth can come here, and I'll call your school and sort this out on Monday. That sound good?"

You nod and give a small smile as Aaron leaves to get the first-aid kit. "Are you okay with Reid helping you with your nose? He's the one with three PhD's."

You let out a small laugh and nod.

You’re so pleased you have a great family to back you up and look after you, even if you sometimes don't want them to.

—•—

Hope you guys enjoyed it :) Send in some requests. Don’t be shy.

Taglist:@breadsticks2004 @criminalsmarts @rororo06 @ogmilkis @ssebstann @herecomesthewriterwitch @garcias-batcave @spidey-reids-2003 

[skieswords]

Pull Through Part 2

Please read part 1 first to make sure you read all of the trigger warnings❤️

The next morning, Becca woke up late, and groaned as she stretched, realising she was still wearing yesterday's jeans. Stripping her hoodie and top off, and dropping her jeans on her bedroom floor, she stepped into the shower, sighing in relief as the hot water ran down her back. Saturdays were always quiet for Becca. With her parents working and Alex with the boys, she normally took time to muck around with her skateboard, forbidden by her parents after a broken wrist that stopped her from writing properly for 6 weeks. But this Saturday was apparently going to be different. Becca came jumping down the stairs around 12, wet hair dripping down her back, and glasses resting comfortably on her nose. The house was quiet, so she wandered through the house in sweats and a sports bra, humming quietly as she made her way around the kitchen, climbing on the counter to grab the cereal from the cupboard. She was in her own little world, dancing a little as she opened the fridge to get the milk, swinging the door shut and turning round. The milk fell to the floor as she noticed Luke, sitting on the counter swinging his legs. "Luke! What are you doing here?" Luke smirked and jumped down, walking over to her and picking up the milk. He handed it to her, eyes widening as he took in her clothes, or lack thereof. Becca noticed at the same time and crossed her arms across her chest, squeaking quietly. "I didn't think there was anyone home, I'll go change, sorry, I uh-" She was cut off by the sudden appearance of Bobby and Reggie, closely followed by Alex. They were laughing at some unknown joke, but silence fell over them as they realised how close Luke and Becca were standing. Becca jumped back, swallowing and closing her eyes in embarrassment. Bobby was almost drooling, his eyes raking up and down her body less-than-innocently. Luke took a step in front of Becca, shielding her from Bobby's gaze with a protective hand on her arm. "Dude, stop. I've already told you, she's off limits." Alex came towards them, pushing Bobby away, and grabbing Becca by the wrist. "Go get changed." Becca rolled her eyes and shook him off, heading towards the stairs. Luke watched her go, feeling a blush creep up his neck. Knowing Alex might kill him if he saw, he pulled his hoodie up, and headed for the fridge, trying to cool off. He felt bad, she was very much off-limits, and he knew that, but he was a 17 year old guy- what else could he do when he saw his childhood crush basically topless?

Becca came sauntering down the stairs 20 minutes later, hoodie pulled over her head, and avoided the kitchen, where she could hear the boys talking. Her arm was still tingling from where Luke had touched her, she thought, as she rubbed it absentmindedly. It was a nice day, the sun shining through the blinds in the living room. Having perfectionist parents sucked, she remembered, looking into their backyard, at the neatly cut grass, and perfectly pruned flowerbeds. It didn't look too cold, which meant she might be able to skate. It took her all of 5 minutes to work out what she was doing, and ran through to the kitchen. The boys all turned to look at her, Bobby rolling his eyes slightly when Alex shot him a warning glance. Luke was leaned up against the counter, hands in pockets and ankles crossed. "How much do you love me?" Alex looked down at her in disbelief, while Luke and Reggie smirked, knowing where this was going. Bobby continued to eat his toast, totally oblivious. "They'll kill you, and me for good measure." Becca stuck out her lower lip and turned on the puppy dog eyes, pleading with him silently. He groaned and nodded, checking the time. "We'll leave in 10." Becca squealed and jumped up to hug him, before doing a little happy dance. "Where are we going?" Bobby frowned and looked to Alex expectantly. "I'm gonna drop her at the skatepark on our way to Reg's, can you guys grab your stuff?" Bobby scrunched up his nose, and ran his fingers through his hair. "You skate? That's not very ladylike." Becca stopped dancing, and put her hands on her hips, cocking her head to one side. "And how would you know what a lady likes?" Bobby raised his eyebrows at her, and took a step towards her. "Wouldn't you like to find out?" Alex stepped forward, looking furious, and Luke's expression was thunderous. Even Reggie looked pissed. But before they could interject, Becca replied. "Oh please, you couldn't find it if you tried." Luke's jaw dropped, a blush spreading across his cheeks. Reggie looked slightly confused, but impressed, and Alex was horrified, his hands covering his face. Becca flipped Bobby off and left, not missing the impressed look Luke sent her way, or the way his eyes trailed up and down her quickly. It was probably a coincidence- there was no way he thought about her like that. As she reached the stairs, she overheard Reggie. "How does she even know what it is?" A deep, throaty laugh filled the kitchen. "Dude, girls get horny too." Luke's retort made her laugh quietly, and she tucked her hair behind her ears, warmth spreading across her face. Gagging noises, presumably from Alex, proceeded to echo into the hall, and Becca sprinted up the stairs, so they wouldn't hear her laughing.

The skate park was teeming with kids, Saturday afternoons being one of the most popular times. Becca was sticking to the smaller ramps, her nerves still a bit on edge after her accident. "Hey Mercer, haven't seen you around here in time!" Ray, one of her closest friends, appeared beside her, patting her on the back and holding his arm out. She fist-bumped him and grinned, pulling him into a hug. Her board was covered in the remainder of Luke's stickers, with a couple of homemade Sunset Curve ones thrown in for good measure. She'd been messing around with some band designs a few months ago, and decided stickers would be a good idea. They were actually pretty popular, and she'd ended up handing them around a couple of kids at school. Sunset Curve weren't huge yet, but they'd played a handful of gigs, and they were some of the most popular Seniors at Los Feliz High. "So, where've you been?" Becca shrugged and smiled, flipping her board into her hand. "Around." Ray nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets. His helmet was undone, the straps dangling around his chin. Becca wasn't one for small talk, so she set her board down, and gave James a challenging stare. "Race you." He scoffed and clipped his helmet, before following her down the ramp, chasing her to the end of the park. She kept a decent lead, laughing when he reached her at the otherside, tossing her hair behind her shoulder. "How do you do that? You haven't been here in months, and you're still 10x better than me." Becca shrugged and shook her head, tossing her hair over her shoulder. She looked up at the sky, and closed her eyes in despair. "Fuck, what time is it?" Ray frowned and checked his watch, showing it to her. It was after 7, and she'd missed dinner. "I gotta go. Catch you next weekend?" Ray nodded and watched as she skated away, helmet in hand and curls waving wildly around her head. He smirked and rubbed his own hair, before turning away to meet his friends.

Becca ran through the front door, and legged it up the stairs, tossing her skateboard into her closet. Her dad came thundering through her bedroom door, eyes rimmed red and clothes dishevelled. "And where exactly have you been?" Becca bit her lip, trying to keep control of her emotions, but she could feel her hands shaking. "I was just out with some friends." She could smell the beer from her bed, and she tried to swallow, her throat bone dry. "You were skating, weren't you? You were with that boy!" Becca shook her head desperately, tears threatening to spill over. Graham inched closer, finger pointed accusingly in her face. As he reached her bedside, his face softened, and his shaking finger stroked her cheek gently. "I just want you to succeed. I can't have you getting hurt. You're my only hope." Becca tried her hardest to smile, but her heart was racing in her chest. "I just want what's best for you Rebecca." She nodded at him, wincing at the taste of blood in her mouth. She'd chewed through her lip. Graham looked around her room, before stumbling out, mumbling incoherently to himself. Becca pulled her knees up to her chest and let herself go, sobs racking through her body. She didn't hear the front door slam, or Alex and the boys coming up the stairs a few minutes later, but they heard her. Alex's face fell, and he shook his head. "Give me a minute?" Luke watched through the gap in Becca's door, as Alex ran in, pulled her shaking form into his chest, and winced as her sobs got louder, sounding more and more broken by the second. Reggie pulled him away from the top of the stairs, and shut Alex's door. "What do you think happened?" Luke continued to stare at the door, ignoring Reggie. "She's crying." Reggie waved a hand in front of Luke's face, and pushed him onto Alex's bed. "Uh, yeah." Luke blinked, and looked up at Reggie. "Becca's crying. That doesn't happen. What's going on?" Reggie sighed and started walking around Alex's room, fiddling with the neatly lined up drumsticks on the wall. "No idea. He'll tell us later." Luke lay back on Alex's bed and stared at the ceiling, fingers playing with the chain around his neck. What felt like an hour later, Alex came through the door, rubbing his forehead. He collapsed into the chair in the corner of his room, and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "You alright man?" Alex sighed and sat up. "Yeah, great. You guys want to order pizza?" Luke glanced at the door and gulped. "Is Bex okay?" Alex looked at his feet, before standing up and pulling his shirt off. Luke frowned at the wet stain on the front, black smudges presumably from Becca's makeup. Alex pulled a hoodie over his head and fiddled with his hair in the mirror, trying to work out a response that didn't totally betray Bex. "She's asleep now. She'll be fine." Luke pushed for more information, despite Reggie's not-so-subtle faces. "What happened?" Alex groaned and leaned his forehead against the mirror, grateful for the coolness on his face, which was burning with suppressed anger. "Our dad's pretty hard on her. And when he's drinking, he's worse." Luke's mouth dropped slightly, and he tugged on his necklace. "Oh. Shit, I'm sorry man." Reggie stepped forward and squeezed Alex's arm gently. "She's got some stuff going on with her head. She has meds and stuff but she doesn't always take them. They make her tired." His voice fell quiet at this, and Luke looked back to the door. Something in him desperately wanted to go and hug her, but he knew it was a bad idea. "I had no clue." Alex shrugged and played with the tiers of his hoodie. "Anyway, pizza?" The boys shared a look and nodded, but as they walked past Becca's door, Luke paused. Inside was silent, so he presumed she was asleep. He rested his hand on the door, tempted to go inside and check she was alright, but Alex looked back at him, and tilted his head in the direction of the kitchen. Luke bit his lip for a moment, before shaking his head and following his best friends down the stairs.

Eyes puffy and swollen, Becca climbed out of bed the next morning feeling utterly empty, and as she stared in the mirror, she hardly recognized the burnt out shell looking back at her. She sniffed and reached behind her to tie her hair back, letting her arms fall a moment later. It was another one of those days. But she knew what she had to do, so she pulled her curtains open, blinking in the sunlight. An exhausting shower and outfit change later, Becca sighed and tugged at her clothes, resisting the urge to cry again. She failed and collapsed to the floor, hugging her knees to her chest while hot tears dripped down her cheeks. A soft knock on the door paired with Alex's entrance made her look up, and he sighed, before crouching down beside her and reaching out, pulling her up. "Cmon. What you wanna do?" Becca shrugged and leaned against her brother, breathing in the comforting scent of lemon from his bodywash. "I dunno. Where are the boys?" Alex shook his head and started pulling up her bed, organising the cushions and playing with the sequins on one of them. "I sent them over to Reggie's without me. It's just you and me today." Becca smiled gratefully and rubbed a hand over her arm. "I don't mind. I'm happy to chill here if you want to go practice with the guys?" Alex's face fell a little and he stepped towards her. "Hey. You know I can't do that." Becca rolled her eyes slightly, but nodded. "Okay. Can I come down to the garage and watch you practice?" Alex narrowed his eyes but nodded. "Yeah, and then we'll do your maths homework." She groaned, but grabbed her school bag and a blanket, and followed him downstairs. Alex had started playing drums when he was 11, after his anxiety got so bad he had to come out of school for a while. Their parents weren't very understanding, but after multiple run-ins with the police when he went missing from school, they realised they had to fix something. And then 3 years later, when Becca was 13, they found her in her room at 3am, blade against her wrist. It was the 90s, and mental health wasn't really a thing, but after 18 months of weekly therapy, Becca had finally been in a slightly better place- until Alex had come out as gay, and their dad had come home kicking and screaming about it. She'd stood up for her brother, and hadn't backed down until her dad pushed her down the stairs in a drunken rage. Since then, the bumpy scar above her right eyebrow, accompanied by many that marked her past dips, had plagued her existence daily. More recently, her bad days had been less frequent, much to Alex's relief. His little sister was everything to him, and he would do anything to protect her. It killed him inside that he couldn't fight the demons in her mind for her.

Monday morning saw Becca sitting in the front seat of Alex's mustang, the boys crammed in the back. They were strangely quiet, besides Bobby, who was leaning on her chair, trying desperately to make small talk. "So what kinda skateboarding do you do?" Becca stared at Alex out the corner of her eye, silently begging for him to make it stop. "The kind where you use a board dipshit. Shut up." There was a thump as Bobby's back hit the seat, and Luke's face appeared in it's place. "Alex, do you mind stepping on it? We got places to be man." Becca snorted and turned to look at him. He had his chin resting in his hands, leaning on the centre console. He looked up at her, pouting, and she couldn't help but smile. "And what important places do you have to be other than school?" Luke shrugged and disappeared into the backseat, his feet replacing his face on the console. "Alex?" Alex shot a death glare at Luke and glanced at Becca out the corner of his eye. "Uh, we might have a gig tonight. Ish. So we're gonna rehearse all day. We're just dropping you at school first." Becca frowned and turned in her seat to look at the boys in the back. Luke was pulling a face, looking anywhere but her, and Reggie was suddenly very interested in an empty juice can left in the back pocket of Alex's seat by Becca. "You could've just told me. Now you've got to drive all the way back to Reggie's." Alex grimaced and glared at the boys in the rearview. "Yeah, that's what I said. No-one ever listens to me though." Once more the boys all turned away, whistling and occupying themselves with anything else they could. "Woah, you guys don't trust me? I'm hurt." She clutched her chest in mock agony, but frowned a little when she got hardly any reaction, turning to face the front again. "Can't I come watch? It can be my birthday present?" Alex looked at her out the corner of his eye. "You know I can't do that." Becca looked down and nodded, biting her lip. "Yeh. Sorry. Can you get me after school though?" Alex nodded, and pulled up to the front of school. Becca clambered out, tapping the window on Reggie's side. He waved up at her, and kept waving as they drove away. Luke crawled out of the car, and watched as Becca hugged a light-haired boy at the top of the steps. He frowned a little, and got into the front seat. "Hey Alex, does Bex have a boyfriend?" Alex looked at him suspiciously, and started to drive away, while Luke watched Becca walk into the school side by side with the boy. At least they weren't holding hands? Not that he cared. "She doesn't as far as I'm aware, and she shouldn't. I haven't met him anyway, and she hasn't mentioned anyone. Why?" Luke laughed at Alex's defensive tone, and shrugged. "Nah, just wondering. Saw her with a guy back there." The car swerved to the left as Alex tried to look behind him, and Luke grabbed the wheel. "Dude! You're driving." Alex shook his head and got the car back under control. "Right, driving." Turning the volume up on the radio, Luke scrunched up his nose, propped his feet up on the dash, and stared out of the window, drumming his fingers on the door frame.

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

TATMILB, CHAPTER 3

Penelope spent her life writing love letters, which didn’t seem like a terrible idea until the letters were mailed out and Schneider received one of them. Hoping to fool their exes, they agree to fake a relationship. But are they lying to everyone around them, or to themselves? aka my To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before-inspired AU.

Penelope x Schneider, ODAAT. available on ao3 with extra author’s notes.

Chapter 3: Penelope tries to bond with Alex during movie night; he and Lydia bring the family’s donations to Goodwill. Schneider returns from vacation and confronts Penelope. She panics.

While Schneider was away with Nikki over the weekend, Penelope splurged on a trip to the movies--luring Alex with the promise of food he didn’t have to sneak in.

She was trying to focus on silver linings instead of her anxieties about Elena, and the upsides included her new availability for Alex. Twice as much parent to go around could only lead to more bonding, right?

He had lobbied for an R-rated comedy, which she was definitely not willing to pay for. On her own, she would’ve headed right for the newest Bradley Cooper drama, but no amount of chocolate could convince Alex to sit through that.

So they compromised on an action movie--which would have the added benefit of covering up the sound of her soda later. Agreeing to buy concessions for Alex didn’t make her a different person. Her discount snacks were better than their overpriced junk, anyway.

He grinned at her over his bucket of popcorn while they waited for the lights to go down, and she considered her bribery a success. See, she could be the cool mom. Even if she had Raisinets in her cargo pants.

“Hey, Mom?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you still miss Max?”

Where did that come from? The question hurt, mostly because it was so unexpected. With Max exiting her life right before Lydia’s stroke, neither Alex or Elena had mentioned him much in the last year. They’d all had other things on their minds.

She let the pain pass by before she answered.

“Yes, Papito, I still do. It’s hard to let go of people you love. Sometimes, a part of you misses them even after you’ve moved on.”

He nodded, sipping his soda.

“Do you think you’ll start dating again anytime soon?”

That question was even more out of character for her son, whose world had been so often self-centered since he first came into it.

Penelope narrowed her eyes at him. “Why are you suddenly so interested in my dating life?”

“I was just wondering.”

”Well, I’m having fun the way things are. You and me, catching a movie on a Friday night, mother and son time with Elena away. Why would I want to date when I could be doing this?”

She grabbed a handful of popcorn and caught the way he cringed. Or flinched. Whatever it was, there was guilt there. Her mom radar went up.

“Alex, what is it? Is something going on?”

“It’s nothing!” He assured her in a rush. “It’s just...I kind of--did have a date.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. You wanted to go out together, so I rain checked it with Chloe for next weekend. But I mean, let’s be real, Mom. This can’t last forever. I’ll go off to college too, or modeling school, whatever, and then who will you hang out with?”

The trailers started playing, just in time, letting her wallow until the movie started.

Penelope couldn’t keep the sadness off her face as she watched Alex settle in with his snacks. He was growing up so fast on her. Too fast. And Elena was practically out of the house already.

She didn’t want to date just to avoid being alone, but hearing that concern from her teenage son? Ouch. So much for being the cool mom.

Now Penelope was glad that they’d picked an action flick. She was ready to watch some stuff blow up.

****

Alex emerged from his room the next morning waving his phone at her.

“Mom, that was the third text I’ve gotten from Elena since she left reminding us to take that stuff to Goodwill.”

“Good morning to you, too,” Penelope replied. 

She was almost out the door, but her son had the luxury of sleeping in on Saturdays until baseball season started. He was taking full advantage of it.

“Seriously, she woke me up--and I need my beauty rest. She’s not gonna stop bugging me until you drop it off.”

“Alex...” Penelope shrugged into her coat, kissing her Mami on the cheek in thanks for the quick cafecito she had substituted for breakfast. “It’s all boxed up, we finished it before she left; it’ll get there.”

“I’m just saying, she’s gonna start texting you next, and I don’t think you’ll enjoy the lectures any more than I do.”

“Well, I’ve got plans with Jill today--and I’m about to be late. Mami?” She raised hopeful eyebrows in Lydia’s direction.

“Hmm?”

“Can you go with Alex to the Goodwill donation dropoff? I won’t be back until dinner.”

“Si, Lupita. Go have fun with your friend, we will handle it.” 

“Great. Thanks. The things I’m getting rid of are in my room, next to the closet.”

“You know, this would be much easier if Schneider had not taken his girlfriend on a vacation.” Lydia frowned. “He could carry much bigger boxes than myself or Papito.”

“Hey, I can lift heavy stuff,” Alex protested. 

“Yes, but you should not have to! You should save your strength for wooing your future wife.” Lydia patted his face.

“Luckily for us--and Alex’s future wife--none of the boxes are all that heavy,” Penelope said. “And there aren’t too many of them. Now, I really have to go. I’ll see you both tonight.”

****

Absorbed in work and school, Penelope didn’t give their Goodwill donations another thought until Tuesday, on her way out of the hospital. The two boxes she’d packed in her room were gone, concluding that chore.

Or so she thought.

Penelope was  digging in her purse for her keys when she saw Schneider striding her way. “Oh, hey! I thought you were gonna be off the grid with Nikki for another couple of days.”

“No, that trip is kind of...over. That whole thing is kind of over.” 

“Again?”

Hurt crossed Schneider’s face before he buried it. He was really good at that, she’d learned--mostly from moments when she was the one hurting him. Way to go, Penelope. 

“I mean, I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

“Eh, I will be. Eventually. It’s not like we were engaged, right?”

Schneider shook his head. “That’s not why I’m here, though. Nikki may have dumped me for one of the jock dads at St. Bibiana’s, but that doesn’t mean I think you and I should blur the lines on the rebound.”

She stared at the creased blue paper he held up as he continued.

“Not that I’m not flattered, obviously. You’re the most badass woman I know, an amazing mom, anybody would be lucky to--”

Penelope’s field of vision narrowed to the letter in his hand, a letter that she definitely recognized. She didn’t hear the rest of his sentence. She could only hear her heart pounding in her ears, making her wonder if she was about to pass out there, next to her car.

How did Schneider get that? What was happening right now?

“I found it slipped under my door when I got home. And honestly, Pen, if you needed to tell me this stuff, you could have just done it in person--we’ve had enough late night chats that nothing’s really off limits at this point.”

She took a deep breath, trying to focus on a technique that worked for her during panic attacks and after nightmares. Since the moment felt like an actual waking nightmare, slowly counting backwards didn’t help much. He was still there. Waiting.

“Schneider, that letter--it’s not what it looks like, I swear. I don’t want to date you. At all. I wrote it because...”

She was still trying to find the words to explain something much too complicated for a parking lot when she saw motion past Schneider’s left shoulder.

Max was exiting the hospital and heading straight for them, holding a bright white envelope in one hand.

It didn’t take a genius to know what he was coming over to say.

Which was good, because Penelope’s mind was not exactly in top condition. It was already a five-alarm fire up in there, and every part of her was screaming I cannot deal with this.

In the fraction of a second she had to consider her options, Penelope acknowledged that the mature response would be to face it now--to explain the situation to her ex-boyfriend and her best friend at the same time.

Or, she decided, as she felt both men’s eyes on her and her palms started to sweat...she could do literally anything else.

Going with her first impulse, Penelope reached up and grabbed Schneider’s shirt with both hands, pulling him toward her. Before Max could get one step closer, she kissed Schneider like her life depended on it.

She couldn’t have explained to anybody why kissing Schneider seemed like a better idea than letting Max think she was still pining over him. Right then, she just needed Max to stay back. To leave them alone. 

Did it work? She wondered. She couldn’t check without breaking off the kiss, but the silence seemed promising.

Of course, the quiet only emphasized the situation she was now in. She was kissing Schneider. She was in a hospital parking lot, a few yards away from her ex-boyfriend, kissing Schneider. 

Pressed against her, Schneider didn’t react. Not after the initial moment, or several more. He let her kiss him, but he didn’t kiss back. And that was fine, Penelope told herself. That was better.

“Thank you,” she said when she let Schneider go. He stood there, flushed and baffled, looking at her like he had never seen her before. 

Though confusion was written all over his face, Schneider nodded. “You’re...welcome?”

Penelope wasn’t willing to push her luck any further. She couldn’t avoid the embarrassment forever, but at least she had managed to postpone it until she got home. She needed time to figure this out.

Without another word, and without glancing back to where Max was probably still holding his own letter, she got into her car and drove home.

****

Her reprieve was brief, not that she’d expected any different. She caught the aroma of dinner as soon as she walked through the door, and barely had time to praise her Mami’s cooking before Schneider arrived.

“Oh, good, Schneider, you are home from your vacación,” Lydia said. “I made enough for you to join us, just in case.”

“Hey,” Alex added from his spot at the table. “You’re back early, right?”

“Yeah, Nikki and I broke up.”

Schneider offered that explanation to Alex, but he was looking at Penelope. She shook her head in response, hoping the tiny movement would go unnoticed by the others. Hoping that Schneider would understand. Not now. Not in front of the family. Please.

His shoulders tensed where he stood, like her silent plea was a blow he had to absorb. But when he finally looked away from her, smiling at Lydia and taking his seat, Penelope knew he would let it go for now. “So you can see why I needed a nice, comforting family dinner this evening.”

“Oh, pobrecito Schneider,” Lydia said, patting his back before she sat down across from him. “You can do better.”

They were waiting for her to settle into her place at the table, but Penelope couldn’t join them until she knew for sure. She headed for her bedroom, straight to the spot where her army duffel would be. 

Or where it used to be.

“Mami?” She returned to the table and sat, trying to sound calm. “What happened to my duffel bag?”

“I don’t know,” Lydia said, pouring herself some rum as though her daughter’s world wasn’t spinning out of control in front of her. “Where did you see it last?”

“I keep it in my closet,” Penelope snapped back. “It’s been there for years. Where did I see it last,” she added in a mutter.

“You do not need to take that tone with me,” her Mami scolded her. “I did not touch your ratty old bag. I do not know where it is.”

“Well, I know I didn’t move it, and it’s gone. So can anybody explain to me how it up and disappeared?”

Lydia thought it over. “I suppose...if it was in your closet...it might be at the Goodwill.”

She clamped down even harder on her temper. “Why would it be at the Goodwill?” 

“As I said, Lupita, I have done nothing wrong. But your boxes were next to the closet. So if it is missing, that may be why.”

“It was just an old duffel bag, right, Mom?” Alex was halfway through his dinner, but he couldn’t ignore the tension in the room. “You can get a new one.”

“Not everything’s replaceable, Alex. That old bag had a lot of memories attached.” She picked up her fork and tried to focus on her food while her mind reeled. It also had five incredibly personal love letters tucked into the inside pocket. Letters she’d never wanted their subjects to read.

Now Max knew she never got over him, and wanted him back. God, after more than a year, how pathetic he must think she was. 

And that didn’t begin to address the other letters. How long until those came back to haunt her, too? What about the man currently watching her while he ate, pretending that he wasn’t? How could she possibly explain any of this to Schneider?

She stabbed at her salad, lost in thought until she was done eating. 

Worried she might snap at him next, even Schneider was quiet during the meal. The scraping of utensils against dishes filled the silence until Penelope cleared her plate and went to her bedroom.

Schneider swallowed loudly after Penelope left, but didn’t offer up his usual attempts to paper over the unease that lingered behind her. 

Instead it was Lydia who broke the silence. “Lupe hasn’t used any of her old bags in years. I do not understand why she is so upset about this one.”

“Maybe she’s going through menopause,” Alex offered up.

Schneider’s fork clattered loudly onto his plate. 

Lydia shook her head. “No, that can’t be the problem, Papito. She is far too young.”

“It can start between the ages of 40 and 50,” Alex argued, ignoring the way Schneider was gaping at him. “Mom’s just inside the window.”

“This is very inappropriate talk,” Lydia scolded him, standing up to clear the rest of the plates.

“Elena wouldn’t stop lecturing me about it, okay? She wanted me to be ready when it happened in case she was moved out already. You know how she never shuts up.”

Schneider left Alex sitting alone to go find Penelope--normally she would be back out with the family after dinner, but if she was going to try this hard to avoid him, she wasn’t giving him much choice. 

With Lydia at the sink and Alex’s face in his phone already, Schneider doubted the others would even notice him gone. 

He tapped lightly on her door. “Penelope?” 

The long silence wasn’t comforting, but eventually he heard a quiet “Come in” and let himself in. 

“Hey,” he said as he shut the door behind him. “You know, Max seemed just as confused as me, back at the hospital. He just sort of stared at me, once you drove off, for the longest five seconds in history, and then he left without saying anything.”

“Yeah?” Penelope was looking at the floor more than him, but he could tell she was listening.

“Yeah. I think he wanted to talk to you too. Which made me even more confused. What’s going on?”

A brisk rap on the door sounded before it opened--not giving either of them time to respond. 

“Mami.”

“It’s time for dessert,” Lydia told them. “What are you two doing in here?”

Penelope ignored the gossipy insinuation in her tone--she knew better than anyone that it was her Mami’s way of hoping something interesting was about to happen, whether it actually was or not. “We were talking about dessert, actually. I was asking Schneider if he wanted to go with me to get ice cream.”

She raised her eyebrows, hoping he would follow her lead. “What do you say? Dessert run?”

Whatever he was thinking, or feeling, Schneider kept it to himself. “Sure, Pen. Sounds good. My treat.”

“Oh, Schneider, you are such a generous man,” Lydia told him with a hand on his arm--laying it on a little thick even by her usual standards. 

“Mami, calm down. It’s ice cream, not new shoes.”

“Lydia, did you want new shoes?” Schneider perked up, and Penelope grabbed him by the arm to pull him past her mom before they could get any ideas. 

“She doesn’t need you to buy her shoes. Let’s go.”

Penelope rushed him to the door with one hand on his back, nudging him forward as she opened it.

She was in such a hurry, she almost shoved him directly into Ben--who was standing on the other side, hand raised to knock. 

“Oh, hey, Penelope. Is this a bad time?”