#me remembering two weeks later that i drafted this headcanon and never posted it
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byanyan · 2 years ago
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anyway dbd verse byan is a fan of no spin, as well as jiwoon's solo stuff THERE I SAID IT. they're not a diehard fan by any means, but they've listened to everything and have a lot of songs in all their playlists. even have a few photocards and a couple of stolen albums.
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agentvharrison · 1 year ago
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// I miss Vivian.  More importantly, I MISS Y’ALL. 
I know a large part of the problem is what I went through a year ago was just deeply horrible.  There’s no way to avoid the impact it’s had on Vivian (and other muses, but predominantly her), on rping as a hobby, on my interest in certain fandoms, on rping in certain fandoms, and on me. 
And then I went and accidentally deleted YEARS of headcanons, threads, meme responses, and character development.  I’m NEVER going to get all of it back.  I can’t even remember what half the headcanons I’d written were about.  I can’t remember even a fraction of the blogs I was following - blogs I’d rarely or never interacted with, but loved following nonetheless.  My tiny “Following” list feels like an accusation.
I’m still upset over everything I’ve lost - in every way. 
But I really, truly, deeply miss the people I’d been interacting with and following.  I miss seeing people’s ooc, and their headcanons, and reading their threads.  I miss throwing ideas around with friends and partners and would-be partners.  I miss the PEOPLE the rpc is built on.
And, finally, my offline life is calming down.  The stars are aligning.  I have some habits I need to try to break (though since I can’t actually build habits I suppose I don’t actually have habits to break), but honestly spending less time on my phone and more time on my laptop involves a lot of things that would be healthier for me.  
So.  I have A PLAN:
1. The next few days are going to be about loading up my queue.  I’m down to 19 posts.  And I have several hundred to add - across this and all Vivian’s sideblogs. 2. Reach out to friends/established partners to say HI!  I’ve been ignoring some of you for so fucking long and I’m so so so SO sorry.   I’ll also see who wants to keep the verses/relationships/dynamics we had, and who might want to start over or adjust things. 3. Make a list of what headcanons I can remember having written on the accidentally deleted blog.  Rewrite what I can remember.  Set aside what I can’t remember the details of to work on later.  Schedule headcanons to be posted over a reasonable span of time. 4. Clear out inbox and drafts.  I’m going to be ruthless.  Unless discussed with someone as part of #2, it’s going to go.  Sorry in advance. 5. Post a few memes.  6. RESPOND to a few memes. 7. Write up Vivian’s two main verses - default MCU, MCU/Spooks crossover. 8. Less time on phone, more time on laptop, as it’s more conducive to writing/being active on this blog. 9. Try to spend at least 30 minutes a day active on this blog while the cat throws her whole body down against my leg while I’m on the couch for the next two weeks. 10. Work on writing up Vivian’s other verses.
I want to be back here.  I am GOING to be back here.
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kass-storycorner · 3 years ago
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Rainbow Anon~
Hhhhuuuu, those sleeping asks where so cute!? Do you think you could another part with Diluc, Zhongli and Albedo having come home late, but their s/o has a nightmare later on the night due to stress? (hurt/comfort plz lol)
//I said that I needed to stop simping for all of the characters but, I literally cannot physically do that. Everybody is so beautiful;;;!!
Aaaah, hello Rainbow anon! Thank you, I'm glad you liked them!!! Also never stop simping, they really are all beautiful. Genshin is at this point a "character I simp for"-collector haha And now on to the request, thanks for sending this in, I've been struggling with every other piece I've been working on the last days so idk writing these small drabble / bullet point fics is a nice change. Though I have to apologise that the Albedo s/o hc is the only one that actually doesn’t really fulfils the request…
And I didn’t add Zhongli, I had this request for a while now in my drafts, Albedo and Diluc finished but idk I couldn’t come up with something for Zhongli and it frustrated me so now I’m posting it like this 😩
Nighttime headcanon part II. - Nightmare headcanon
Genre: Angst with comfort
Rating: SFW
Content Warnings: none I guess
Characters: Albedo, Diluc,
Format: Bullet points / HC
Albedo
Ah, he did it again. Albedo didn't intend to stay so long at the laboratory inside of the headquarters of the knights again. To be honest he had planned to come home earlier that night, but alas - he didn’t notice the passing of time again until Sucrose knocked on the door, pulling him out of the trance he gets into when he works and reminding him of the time.
When Albedo opened the door to the shared apartment it was already filled with darkness again. A deep sigh left him as he took of his coat and shoes, making his way towards the shared bedroom. He really missed going to bed with you. It was so different than joining in bed, there were no sweet good night kisses nor wishes.
Though when he walked into the bedroom he didn’t expect to see this. Normally you would sleep peacefully, the only noises coming from you would be your snores. But when Albedo saw your sleeping body in bed tonight there seemed nothing peaceful about you.
It looked like you have been tossing and turning in bed for a while, the blanket didn’t cover your body, it was already halfway on the floor. But your face was the give away - you looked so scared.
Slowly Albedo made his way to the bed, sitting down next to you, still in his clothes, not sure what he should do. It would be best to wake you up, wouldn’t it?
“No… don’t”, he heard you whimper. He really should wake you up. But something, maybe it was is damned curiosity, in him wanted to hear more. Albedo wanted to know what scared you so much in your sleep.
“Albedo, please- albedo-“ ah, a sharp pain made it’s way through Albedos heart. What were you having a nightmare about that involved him?
Albedo wanted to know more, wanted to hear more. But he couldn’t stomach how scared you sounded, scared of him, so he gently put his hand on your hair, stroking it in the hopes it might sooth your dream.
However at the touch you woke up, looking directly in Albedos eyes. Before he could say anything tears already made their way down your face, hands and arms wrapping around Albedos waist and hiding your face in his stomach.
“Hey, hey it’s fine. I’m here. It was just a nightmare”, he said in a quite and gentle voice.
But that’s it - it didn’t feel like a nightmare at all to you. The moment you woke up the dream already was forgotten, except for the last thing you saw in it. You remembered the bitter feeling of betrayal, heartbreak and you were so scared. So horribly scared. The last imagine that burned itself into your head was Albedos face, looking at you with an blank expression, his eyes empty from all of the love he had for you. It felt more like a horrible future and not a nightmare.
This was nothing you felt like you could tell Albedo… it sounded quite silly, didn’t it? And the way Albedo looks at you right now, eyes filled with worry but so much love for you. There was no way those eyes would grow cold one day, would there?
Diluc
The last few weeks have been extremely stressful, for you and Diluc. With festivities right around the corner and many new visitors in Mondstadt because of them, Diluc and you had your hands filled.
Diluc for once more as the owner of Dawn Winery than the ‘Dark Knight Hero’ ah how much he despises that name
While yes, the crime rates and suspicious behaviour just grew with the amount of new people that visited Mond - but so did the demand for his alcohol. And after some incidents with slimes and some inefficient knights - Diluc had his hands full, day and night.
And you? You were busy yourself with your work, the festivities tripled your workload too and the worst about it was: there was no time to see Diluc for more than a few minutes awake.
When you went to bed he wasn’t there and when you woke up - rarely the past weeks was he asleep next to you (only once to be honest). Most of the time he was already awake again (or maybe still awake, you couldn’t tell at how short your encounters have become).
Diluc felt horribly guilty about how he didn’t spend any time with you. Yes you both were quite busy the last weeks, but even he could feel how the stress and the lack of your sight slowly tore him down.
So tonight he decided to skip his duties as Mondstadts protector - just for this one night, wanting to spend it with you. But even then, when he arrived home, entering the shared bedroom he saw you already asleep. It wasn’t too late in the evening, but he figured that you were just exhausted. And honestly? He was too.
So Diluc decided to lay down beside you, maybe you both couldn’t spend some time awake again but for now this must be enough. Though Diluc promises to himself that once all of this madness is over again to give you the attention you deserved.
The moment Diluc took his place beside you in bed, he noticed a small shift in your behaviour. Your breathing wasn’t calm like normally and how did Diluc just notice the way your brows furrowed. It looked like you had a nightmare.
Carefully he took you in his arms, hoping to give you the comfort you need for the nightmare to end. But it did not. It seemed like it was just getting worse and when you started to cry in your sleep was when Diluc had enough.
Softly he wiped away the tears, whispering “hey (y/n), it’s fine. Wake up, it’s just a dream, it’s okay”.
His soft touch and quite words woke you up, finding yourself in his arms. What? How and when?
You pressed your face into his chest, taking in his smell. Ah. How much you missed him, all of it. You felt how Diluc planted a kiss on your head.
“Are you alright Darling?”, he asks and you sigh at the sound of his voice, at with how much love and concern in it he asks. You shift a bit, now being able to see in his eyes in the dark. “It’s fine I’m- I’m just stressed.” His thumb trailed the dark circles under your eyes. “To me it seems like you are more than stressed.”
“I just couldn’t sleep because of it that well the last days, it’s fine”, at your words Diluc shot you a look of concern. “It’s not okay, since when do you have these nightmares?”. You hid your face again in his chest before mumbling out your answer. “It’s only when I sleep alone.”
Diluc felt a wave of guilt go through him. Only having those nightmares when you slept alone? Now to come to think of it, Diluc hasn’t slept next to you in the past few days (that idiot hasn’t slept much at all)
Squeezing you in his arms he lays his chin down on your head, promising you that you won’t have to fall asleep alone anymore. And he’s here now. It’s okay.
After a while you fall asleep, Diluc listening to your calm and soft breathing until he falls asleep himself.
Both of you had to wake up early that morning, but when Adeleine walked into the bedroom to wake you - ah, you two looked so peaceful in bed together and she just hadn’t the heart to disturb that peace.
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onf-headcanons · 4 years ago
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Another OFFICE AU aka CEO AU
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A/n : Alas its not draft clearing but a brand new work for 2021 (but i still have some drafts as well)XD Hello, did any of you remember an idea dump I dropped for last year Christmas? you could easily guess which was it by tallying the mood board with the idea lists (*winks)
Setting :
1. OFFICE AU 2 , it is a brand new one where ONF member is a young CEO while you are his secretary. So I will name this one as CEO AU
Of course it does not hurt should you wanna imagine it as the already exist office au, using the idea dump posted for 2020 Christmas.
2. ONF MEMBER that I will integrate would be Hyojin and Seungjun as mentioned during the Christmas post, but I wont stop you for imagining other members, thats why in headcanons I will use ONF MEMBER instead their names. (For member X reader scenario)
3. In this headcanon, reader is slightly older than ONF member, maybe 2 or 3 years older. Same age is plausible, then it would be ONF member continued their studies further so they started working late.
ok lets go, beware its long and sorry if it is messy I tried my best to control 2 way storyline, I had fun writing but I know I am lacking much much more than I could notice. total 6k word count (dies)
1-1
• You work as assistant/secretary for the head of department/CEO in company before the young successor joins and his predecessor retires. • Because you tend to separate work life and private life, you established personality to look like ice queen on the outside (reality) but actually passionate carer on the inside (virtually). None of your colleagues knew, only your close friends • You have been using a chat app (not tinder type) for since you started intern, • 1. That app's specialty was anonymous. • 2. Its like a hideout spot where you can share and post whatever you love. (Because there are some co-workers added your FB or Insta and you felt it is a hassle to create another fake account exclusively to add people) • 3. Even though you tried and failed at 1 or 2 virtual relationships with other users, you never despise the thought of online dating. But you do know it’s not realistic so you never take it too seriously (it is also self-protection) • You would post some photos but mostly are just lunch pics, occasionally an outdoor view from your office floor, also some cute stationaries or accessories found on the way back home. (Just adding this trivia for fun linking the universe, maybe you pass by Minkyun’s flower shop as well?) • (It will be funny if your contents was more on sharing random idol pics that you follow, passionately promoting it hence creating a more impact contrast later when revealing) • One day you came across a post asking about what kind of cologne to buy for a predecessor who will be retiring. Being a good Samaritan, you leave a few suggestions under the post and did not really take it to heart, you forgot about it once you see the original author replied "Thanks" • Not knowing that 1 interaction would change your life forever.
1-2 • The next day, your superior announced his retirement and mentioned a young successor will join the company next month. And ONF member being the young successor does make rumors flying around the company, making people questioning his ability as he is related to company board of directors. The department you are in is under top 5 sales/profit bringing, so with a young successor would be inexperienced which might lead to drop of department reputation of course people are going to worry and gossip. • First impression with ONF member is actually ok. Well dressed, good looking and nice manners. The moment he followed his predecessor walks into the office floor, girls starts to make all sorts of gasping noises (lol) • Your superior mentioned that he bought a retirement gift for your superior deep down you approved at the selection of the cologne brand. • You might goes, this guy got sense, not bad. • One night after several days ONF member joined the department/company, you received a PM from a user, thanking you for the cologne recommendation. It took you a while to remember who it was. You politely replied him “You are welcome.” • The user also nonchalantly asked about how you can make such suggestion that pinpoints because by the glance at your profile, first impression could be very much misleading. • You just replied that you happened to know someone at that age who likes that type of scent hence the list of suggestions, what you did was just you taking the liberty to do a lucky guess. • Out of curiosity, you tap at the stranger’s avatar to get a glimpse of his profile, but out of your disappointment, there were no picture of his to know what he looks like. But there are pictures of scenery from places he travelled. • You also noticed that their “joined the app” days are way lesser than you are, quite a new user. • You found a few pictures of places you went before/ places that you want to go. Delighted, you started the conversation asking if he likes travelling and his next travel plans. • The other party replied briefly his plans and his experience during travels, from his words you know that he won’t be travelling overseas for the next 2 years as he had a new job and responsibility to learn. Instead he will be focusing on doing domestic travels. • His words made you reminisce your rookie days and you responded him that you understand him with empathy. You did not pry further but you do give him some encouragement, telling him that things will get better and once he got the hang of it, he will have more time on his own. (Yup at the moment you are thinking he is a freshman or newbie joining new company) • You timidly ask your new chat friend why they decided to join and use the app. He replied, “I don’t really play social media apps and I don’t want anyone to find me online, the anonymous system this app provides mental security for me.” • The reply was so different from those who are playing the app just for flirting and finding a quick date, you replied him, “Same as you.” • The conversation ends by the other party mentions he will need to be early for work and politely wishes you good night. The next morning you found the stranger has added you as friend, without any thoughts you tap on your screen and now you have a new mutual.
1-3 • Back to office, as ONF member is still new towards his scope of work, you would sometimes giving him advise and guides by sharing “What would his predecessor does.” or “What he can do by not violating company policy”. He takes advises well and would always inquire for your suggestion before making any critical decision. • Once he started to get the hang of it, you passed the torch of freedom to him because you are only a secretary/assistant. But he will still come to you, which you felt he was being dependent. (I feel if it is Minkyun, he will be more dependent should the scope of work is totally unfamiliar to him. Tendency of dependent to independent would be Seungjun, Hyojin, Yuto same par as Jaeyoung, Changyoon then Minkyun.) • (Of course sometimes there are some doubt raised regarding to policies and because he sees things in another perspective, you know he meant no harm but sometimes you wish he would just shut up and just follow the policy just for convenience sake+lessen damage. That’s because should any dissatisfaction of decision happens, colleagues will firstly come to interrogate you, hoping you to twist his decision or questioning your ability to lessen the damage done towards merit they/the department holds. AND YOU HATE PLAYING THOSE POWER MIND GAMES, even though the image you impose looked like you are skilled player.) • So there is some sense that being strict is you are trying hard to protect him and protecting yourself. • BTW ONF member, your new superior has a bright personality unlike his predecessor (huge reason is due to the age factor), even though inexperienced in work, he has good be friending skills. So people in the department felt it was less stressful working under him because he would do small talk with his underlings. (This hc is not suitable for Changyoon and Yuto during the beginning, due to their personality they would try but not suddenly initiating small talks on the first week joining.) • IT WILL BE FUNNY IF SOME FEMALE COLLEAGUE TOOK PITY ON HIM BY MENTIONING/GOSSIPING THAT YOU ARE TOO STRICT AGAINST HIM • Its not that you hate him or he does not have the ability to do his work, it’s just when he is standing on the opposing side against company policy it troubles you. • Every time when things like this happens, you would low-key complains by posting status on the chat app, mentioning you don’t hope for an understanding but you would hope those who are not in your shoes would shut up. Your mutuals mostly are office workers as well so resonates with your words. • Your new friend leaves a comment underneath the post you asking if you are doing alright, and hope you do not stress yourself too much. You thanked him for the mental support. • He will even PM you asking if you are doing alright, most of the time you don’t want to lose your cool plus you don’t think it is wise to abruptly rant towards a stranger as if they are emotional sandbag, so you will politely thank him and say that you are alright now. • Since you and your new friend work on the day, you two chat during the night and weekend, getting to know each other in a very casual pace. A bit of child hood and you both also shared your majors in studies. He told you that he used to study at overseas and he picked up hobby of travelling around a bit during those days. • You never turn on the app during lunch (to avoid people finding out) but your new friend does send you some messages during lunchtime. • As you and the new friend get to know each other, there has a few things in common, you two like talking about travels and you two read works by the same author • By the way the new friend is a he. You two are using ID names the whole time during chatting, because you have told him that you are not comfortable giving and knowing each other’s real name. He understands and respects that. • And you confirmed that he is slightly younger than you. Which you replied to him, “Oh my superior is same age as you.” • This new friend gives you a calm and mature vibe even though he is same age as your new superior. You could not help yourself but comparing. • The other party goes: “Wow, he must be a very successfully accomplished youngster.” • You go: “Nah, other than his outgoing personality that brings freshness to the department, he still got lots to learn.” • Your new friend then continues, “Your new superior is a lucky one, I can confidently say that because I have an excellent senior who would always look out for me.” • You respond, “Then you better treat them well.” • And he goes “Of course.”
1-4
• Work is as usual, possible you unintentionally eavesdropping and caught ONF member saying towards you (even better backing you up when some junior colleagues are reverse gossiping about you) : You know, Y/N might look cold and stern sometimes but actually a kind and gentle person. Y/N would always give out advice for the sake of the department/ company. • Cues you would fluster a bit by those words. • A few days later you are done briefing your superior their schedule. And ONF member suddenly ask if you are free for dinner. It’s already his 4th month in the company and wanted to properly thank you for guiding him with patience and prudence. • At first you wanted to decline him because you don’t want to deal with work related stuff after office hours, ALSO you don’t want anyone to start weird gossips. • Another reason is you don’t want to talk about yourself too much in front of your superior. Heck you even avoid your colleague’s invitations for dinner because you value your “me time” very much. • But looking at his anticipating face, you got soft and agreed that a coffee would suffice.  ONF member smiles at you suggest both of you to have coffee right now at Starbucks next to your company building. You are free to choose whatever drink you like. • Before both of you leave the room. And then you heard a familiar notification sound, you thought your heart is going to stop, that is the notification sound from the chat app you are using. You did not have your phone with you so it was obvious the sound comes from ONF member’s phone. • And that was a notification alert of the system has found someone nearby and presented to the user.  It got you curious and worried at the same time. • At Starbucks, ONF member had to answer a call, so you ordered his drink as well. • Later you see him start replying messages while waiting for orders to be done.  You wanted to have a peek at his user name but you are a few steps away and your instinct told you better don’t do that. What if it is already someone you already know? • “Curiosity killed the cat, remember?” You tell yourself. • Once you are at your desk, you took some deep breath to calm yourself and try to remember if you recalled wrongly but truth is you are accurate. You hurriedly checked you phone, there were no new messages and you are sure you have turned off location visibility.  Lucky for you it was never turned on to begin with. • You also kind of worried if your superior actually has a “fun” lifestyle after office hours. But, it’s hard to relate him to a playboy image when he looked like a friendly good boy. You shake your head and deny yourself. • “If (ONF member name) uses that app then I will need to be more careful.” you thought while sipping the frappe. So back at home, you started to alter all posts’ visibility to “Visible for mutuals only”. Took you nearly a whole night but better safe than sorry.
1-5 • More weeks pass by peacefully but one day a conflict happened between you and ONF member and some colleagues/minor members of the board.  He went ahead to announce that he decides (had a thought) to run a campaign/new rule (maybe a budget cut). The moment he finished his sentences, you know the seniors will not be happy with it. • Later after meeting, you politely confront with ONF member that he should discuss with you before announcing it on meeting. Plus, announcing without any advance preparation will put him and you in an awkward position as verbal announcement are not persuasive enough. Of course you are also worried that people might use this issue to tackle and exploit the cons of both of you being inexperience and young. • “With all due my respect, Mr.(ONF member name), it will be nice if you could discuss with me before dropping that bomb at the meeting.” you try not to sound fierce but your tone clearly does not sound you are cool with his actions at all. • “And later having you lecture me and stop me? You do know it was for the good of the company too right?” He retorts like usual • “Yes but no.” you try to fight back. “ It’s not that easy, there are people need to be dealt with and I don’t think you--” • Before you could finish, ONF member says with an eyebrow raised, “You don’t think I can handle it, because I am still unexperienced.” • You unconsciously frown and thinking, why is he suddenly trying to pick a fight deliberately today? Why is he suddenly trying to piss off seniors in the department/company? • ONF member then with firm tone, gives you suggestion, “Should you have anyone come to you and complain, tell them that you knew nothing at all and request them to talk to me directly instead.” • “I am the CEO, not you.” He adds. • You could not help but sigh, knowing there is not point arguing because he is not going to back down. And deep down you do know the new rule/budget cut will do more merit than harm. (Your focus is more on how deal with seniors employees not him for now because seniors are more pain in the ass compared to him) • But still there are people come to you and bug you while you are working and you can’t tell them to leave you alone hence it stresses you out. • You escape to the bathroom taking your phone with you and vents out at the app by posting a status mentioning you are just trying to do your job and wants a peaceful work days. • You also come across seeing your new friend posting a status prior your meeting time, it’s a photo of frappe you recommended him to try it out. He is thanking you for recommending it. • You could not help but feeling a bit jealous, should your title and work scopes are different/ should you are just normal employee rather than a CEO’s secretary, you might not need to face these kind of stress. • “Guess you have to bear what you signed up for huh?” you thought to yourself after 15 minutes cooling yourself down. • You switched your mind set and step out from bathroom. Returning to your place with your usual ice cold face. You are trying hard not to show that you are weak against stress. You are too immersed at people coming at you asking you questions, without knowing ONF member actually observing you with concerned gaze from his room. • That night, you receive a PM from your new friend asking if you are doing ok, as you never sound that upset before. He said he can lent an ear so you can tell him what happened. You spare him all the intricate details and tell him briefly that your superior made a mess and you need to clean it up also back his plan no matter you like it or not. • The whole progress he did not interrupt you nor tried to tell you what you should do, he let you type all the way until you finished. Once you are done, you asked, “I don’t know what might be up in his sleeves that it’s inconvenient for me to know beforehand but... Isn’t he a jerk, putting me into an awkward situation?” • Your friend backs you up and agrees with you that matters should be discussed, and critiques your superior actually could trust you more. • You thanked your friend for letting you to rant and mentioned you have accepted the fate because of the title and responsibility you hold in the company. That’s being professional and mature in office. • The other party replied that even if that is the case, he hope you don’t stresses yourself too much as it seems your new superior still needs your guidance and support. • You playfully replies, “Well I am not his babysitter XD, he will need to face a lot of issues by his own someday.” • “Why is that?” • “Well I can’t always be by his side though? I might get married and resign.” you reveal your future plans to your new friend, “Moreover, even I don’t resign, I might take pregnancy leave though?” • The other party comments, “I never thought you had that planned out.” • And he continues, “Your profile gives out the ‘I love my job so much.’ vibe” • You then back up your point by saying you do want that plan to work but too bad you are single now, so of course you are going to focus on your job more. Plus, you do not plan to find a partner in work place anyways. • The new friend leaves more supportive words and hoping it will cheer you up. By the end of the conversation, he also offers that you can come to him and rant should you need an ear. • You grin at his words and felt warm towards his actions. Rarely any of your mutual actually PM to check up on you. “Maybe he was just being nice.” you thought before you wish him good night.
1-6 • The next day, you are being summoned by your superior the first thing in the morning. He passes you a pile of documents and requests you to go through it. It a proposal regarding to the budget cut/new rule and he hope you can be his ally. His gaze is not as firm as yesterday, but it’s more of seeking approval and acknowledgement from you. • You let out a sigh and mutters, “You know, should you have hand this to me beforehand the situation won’t be that ugly.” And then you start to flip the pages. • “Sorry.” He apologizes. “But I really want to make it work. It’s also a handover work by my predecessor.” • “You look up upon him too much, ONF member, he is a sly fox just like the other seniors.” You do not mean to back stab but you are telling the truth. “Has it never come to your mind why he did not initiate the plan when he is here and requested you to initiate it when he is gone?” • “I know. But this move is going to benefit the company; I am willing to bear responsibility.” ONF member adds • You stop reading and look at your superior in the eye, “You better hope this work though, I don’t want my 5 months effort of guiding you goes to waste. And I hate the idea that I need to re- adjust my pace with a new superior.” • ONF member gets your intentions behind your words; he swiftly stands up from his chair and thanked you. “I owe you big one, Y/N. Another cup of coffee to thank you for reals?” • “No thanks, I will be busy. Next time.” You feel uncomfortable because the social distance between you two seems shortened, so you politely decline. • Luckily the whole budget cut/new rule policy worked out fine and by year end, benefits shows. You and ONF member can finally relax a bit knowing that you both have won the fight.
1-7 • Meanwhile, you did not stop interacting with your recent favourite friend. As you two got to know each other even more, both of you chat almost every day during the night. He never bores you and he can understand most of the topic you bring up. You are amazed that how can someone has so many things in common? • It spikes your curiosity and you ask him if a wonderful person like him has a partner in real life. He answers you that he is single, just like you are. • (You thought he is lying because he is such a nice guy, but of course you do tell yourself not to 100 percent trust everyone online) • Then he asks your opinion about online virtual dating. You honestly told him about your experience. But you added that even though you failed twice/thrice, you are not against it. • And that moment, you don’t know what has gotten into you, you playfully type, “You are asking my opinion on that as if you are preparing yourself” • “Prepare for what?” he asks • “To get yourself an online girlfriend.” You reply. • His respond reads, “Yes I am.” • “That’s wonderful. That girl you will be confessing is a lucky one.” • “Yea, indeed you are.” • You pause for a moment when you saw the message. • “Wait, you serious? ME??” you quickly send him the message because you thought should you hesitate longer, the mood will turn awkward. • He replies you by sending you a heart emoji. • You give a quick thought, well it is interesting chatting with him and he does seem nice. Plus, it’s online anyway, you could call it off should he becomes toxic and annoying like your previous experiences. • “I wasn’t sure if you are ok with someone like me. “He continues. “I am fine if you want to call it off should you found someone in real life later on.” • “Don’t be silly, that should be my line.” You retort him. • And then you have it, another secret. You have an online boyfriend now. You both even declared each other as a pair of soulmate publicly on the app. But you two did not exchange selfies, keeping the relationship virtual and anonymous. • However you two always share interesting stuffs happen on daily. New book, new cd, a random shot of a puppy or cat you met on the street. • Also before year end, you overheard girl colleagues gossiping about your superior has a girlfriend now; you are not interested at his private life so you just let it slide. • But you did briefly mention it to your boyfriend. Not in a gossip tone, more of a life update share. • Of course there are some girl colleagues that are ok with you comes to you, hoping you leak some information about ONF member’s rumoured girlfriend. But of course you know nothing at all, leaving them with disappointed answer. • Fast forward to the week before Valentine’s Day. It is also 10th month since ONF member joins the company. • Out of the sudden, your online boyfriend suggests you two to meet up. You are not against it, and it’s not like you never met anyone you know from the app. Thinking why not knowing a new friend in real life, you agreed his offer. (Also because you are curious what he looks like so that you can understand why he was single before dating you) • You even inquired his preference in chocolate and promise bringing him some on official first date. • Your boyfriend thanks you and suggests a place for dinner. You knew that place, it’s expensive and you could not help but wondering if he is trying hard to match you. (You still thinks he is just a normal employee in a company) • But, your boyfriend only replies: “Don’t worry, it is the perfect spot, I could not think of others that are suitable to our taste.” • You can only acknowledge it because you don’t want to have an argument to blow up but deep down you could not help yourself to start doubting again. • “It’s going to be Ok, right?” you question your decision, but it’s too late.
1-8 • On Valentine’s Day, younger female colleagues in your office give out chocolate treats to younger male colleagues as friendship presents, some of course using the occasion to confess. • You don’t have the habit of presenting chocolate treats as a token of friendship appreciation at the office. But you are giving your date chocolate treat later; you hid yours in your bag carefully scared of being teased should anyone saw it. • ONF member gets some too. One female colleague even teases him if he is going to get chocolate from his girlfriend. And ONF member replies that he might get it later that night. • Of course ONF member will asks you for chocolate treat with an innocent face, you just bluntly tell him that you don’t have the habit to give out chocolate treats, he only pouts after listening to your respond. • By the way today you unintentionally changed your makeup (lipstick or eyeshadow). No one dared to make any comments but not your superior, ONF member. • He goes: “Y/N ah? Did something good happen on you? Are you going to a date tonight?” • You are typing quick report and his words caught you off guard. You flinched at his words. Hoping ONF member did not notice, you quickly lied by telling him simply ran out of your usual makeup colour. • But your superior teases you a bit, “Aww, I was hoping I could attend your wedding in near future. “ • You have gotten used to his socializing pattern, so you counter him by asking if he is going to bring his girlfriend to have a nice dinner at a grand restaurant. • And to your surprise, he revealed the place he will be having dinner with his partner. It’s the same place where you are heading to later. He had a special room booked exclusively for tonight’s date. • “Oh, Oh… Have fun and enjoy your dinner.” You force yourself to break a smile. • ONF member only smirks at you and gives you a few pats on your shoulders and says he will have an unforgettable night before returning to his room. Leaving you questioning the meaning of his actions that are unpredictable but also definitely intentional. • Of course you had a quick thought asking your boyfriend if it is possible to change location, you could not bring yourself to ask as you are worried you might sound rude/arrogant trying to change plans on the last minute. You deduced that since ONF member will be having dinner in a room, you might not going to bump into him. You and your boyfriend can just finish dinner quickly. • You could not have that bother you too much time because you need to finish your report so that you can leave on time. Once it reaches the end of office hours, the others started to leave. You made up a plan to leave after ONF member leaves the office. You keep raising your gaze to have a slight peek towards your superior’s room. • Seeing him finally standing up from his chair and adjusting his suit. You can tell he is finally leaving. He passes through your desk and asks, “Y/N ah, please don’t tell me you are planning to work overtime during this special day?” • You only smiles and tell him you are going to finish soon, “Don’t you have a dinner to attend?” you remind him without looking at him, acting as if you are typing the remaining contents of your report. • “Yea I do. See ya.” ONF member waves you goodbye. • You leave the office after 10 minutes. (As for method of transport to the restaurant, I will leave it to your choice.)
1-9 • You reach the building of the restaurant. You let out a sigh, hesitating to step in nonchalantly knowing ONF member is inside there as well. The least thing you definitely do not want to happen is ONF member finding you having a dinner date tonight. It’s embarrassing and it will break the balance of your work and private life. • While you are pacing in front of the building with hesitation, you receive a chat notification from the app. You open it and it was your boyfriend, notifying you that he has arrived, and he reminds you the restaurant located at 38th floor. • You nervously bite your lower lip knowing it’s too late and it is rude of you to cancel the date on last minute. He was a decent person to chat with and you don’t want to lose a good friend. You are blaming yourself for agreeing to attend this date too casually. And you also find yourself way too wary of your virtual boyfriend’s thoughts towards you should you now called him to cancel the date. • Then you heard a familiar voice called out your name and you turn your head towards the voice unconsciously. It’s ONF member, walking out from the building. You flustered and panicked by just imagining scenarios of him asking why you are here and other many more questions. • “OMG…. Shit shit shit….!” You cursed in your head, regretting your life decisions. Recalling the entire chat context between you two, this might be the worst thing ever to happen in your life. • He is grinning while reaching out to grasp your hand. You unintentionally try to back away from him but he was faster. You tried to pull your hand away but he pulls you toward him instead. You nearly bumped towards his chest. • “Y/N ah, I told you its 38th floor; you did not get my message?” ONF member asks as his smirks widens. • As he finished his words, you only look at the young guy in front of you with disbelief, processing his words. Seeing you froze due to the big plot twist, ONF member taps you on your forehead hoping to unfreeze you. • “It can’t be…You are (ONF member’s ID in the app)?! “You exclaim. • “Yeap.” He responds. • “Impossible…How?” you ask. “How did you know it was me?” • “At first I had my doubt when I first saw an old post of yours. You shot a sunset pic from our office floor by the window near the lift right?” he returns with another question. And man he is good at remembering details. • “Then I confirmed that it was you by the time I announced budget cut/new rules for the company/department. ” he explains   • “I…” You could not bring yourself to say anything, but you are not an idiot, “(ONF member name), did you risked your reputation in the company just to find out a stranger’s real identity?” • “No, I did not, I swear. I initiated the plan to suddenly announce the budget cut because I want to find out which board seniors will make a move to cover up themselves, as requested from my predecessor.” He knows you well to sense that you are angry, and he quickly denied. “I only know it was you when I checked up on you. Since then I have been dropping so many hints for you to realize, but it seems like you are the dense one here.” • You can tell he is telling the truth. • “This is absurd…” you mutter while placing your hand on your forehead. • ONF member let out a sigh and he shifts behind you, places his hands on your shoulders then pushes you forward. “Come on, I am starving we can talk about it later, you did not had a decent meal during lunch as well right?”   • He is right, you only had a mini croissant during lunchtime.
• You follow him without a word to the entrance of the building and enter the lift to 38th floor. ONF member has booked a nice room that both of you can enjoy the city’s night view.
1-10 • It was a luxurious dinner but you are not in the mood enjoying it. In fact you are so stressed that you could not even taste your food. You did not touch your dessert at all. • You only quietly trace the shape of wine glass in front of you while looking at the night view, hoping the night to pass quickly. • “You are not happy with me being your date, Y/N?” he suddenly asks. • You jolted and you finally look at him in the eye for the first time tonight. • “You startled me, I am still trying to grasp the situation here.” You reply him with a low voice, trying to act calm by casually bring your drink closer to you and hydrates your throat. • “Hey Y/N-ah, I know you mentioned before that you don’t like the idea of dating someone from the office, but…” his eyes are fixed on you. “I like you. Not just the virtual you, but also the real you.” • “I called you a jerk.” You know you should not bring it up, but you still did. • “Which I did act like one so, no hard feelings.” He accepted. “I am truly sorry about that, I was trying to prove myself way too hard.” • Now it got awkward since he apologized without any complaints. You don’t know what to say and avert your gaze again. • “You know, Y/N ah, when you are stressed, you tend to avoid other people’s eye contact. “he breaks the silence.  “And you are doing that ever since you reached here.” • Upon hearing his words, you flinched and exchange eye contact with the young man sitting in front of you. • “And oh, and you flinch as well.” He adds, “Which is very adorable in my opinion.” • “(ONF member’s name), I …” you try to explain yourself but he cuts you off. • “It alright, you don’t have to push yourself, I have made you stressed out way too much today.” ONF member smiles at you while saying based on what he observed. • He finally stands up and offers to send you home. You could not decline him because you felt terribly sorry for ruining such as nice date. • “I am sorry, should it is another girl, it will be a terrific night for you.” You apologized before leaving his car. • “Don’t worry; it is an unforgettable night for me.” He responds with his usual smile. • Back at your place, you are frustrated that the night ended up in an awkward and weird way. You only noticed that you did not get to hand him the chocolate treats as promised. • You cannot sleep that night, gazing at the chocolate treats as you holding the package in your hands. You cannot tell if you messed up or you are lucky that he happened to like you. • You wanted to consult a random mutual of yours but you hesitated. Because at this point you are not sure if you actually have the full grasp on the situation. And you don’t want a biased reply. • “It’s just this boyfriend of yours happened to be him, I guess?” you murmur to yourself. But that did not clear up your mind enough for you to make any decision towards the situation. • Several days passed, ONF member did not send any message to you in the chat app. He acted like usual back in office, but it does not look like he has any intention to talk about what happen between you two either. • (The problem is you cannot look at him in the eye) • You are troubled if you should initiate the first move. It’s not like you hate him, you never did in the first place, it’s just he annoys you sometimes. • Then you overheard ONF member having small talk with colleagues, and they ask about his Valentine’s Day. He only replies it was an unforgettable night and he is glad that he is able to meet his girlfriend, it was better than never meeting her at all.
1-11 • From his words, you gain a bit of courage and decided to make your first move. • The next day you arrived at the office earlier than usual, you take out something from you bag and places small gift box on ONF member’s desk. The small box has a memo attached to it. • You hurried back to your desk, acted as if nothing happened while the office starts have more and more colleagues coming in. ONF member arrives later on and he greets you before heading in his room. • You take some quick glances, making sure ONF member notices your belated Valentine’s day gift. • He did noticed and read the memo you attached, then he made a confused look but he adjusts his facial expression immediately as he sees you stood up from your place. • You head to his office room to brief his morning schedule. Like usual, you step into his room, closes the door and starts the briefing. ONF member stares at you with a puzzled expression while sitting on his chair. • Once you done your part and you ask him if he has any schedules to add into the list, he places the gift box into your view and pushes it towards you. • “What do you mean by this?” he inquires. • “I promised you chocolate for Valentine’s day, sorry I was late.” You purposely answer him the wrong information. “ Don’t worry I made a brand new ones.” • “You know I meant this.” He pulls out the memo has his eyes fixed on you. • The memo wrote, “(ONF member’s ID), Let’s call it off --- (Your ID)” • “That’s how it is.” You tried not to break into a smile, you are getting your revenge and this is fun. “You are the one who said you are fine to call it off if either one of us found someone in real life right?” • ONF member pauses for a moment, his eyes wandering then he admits he did say that. • “Well you found someone in real life, so there is not point for us to continue virtual dating on the app anymore right?” you slightly let out a victorious smirk as you ask him. • ONF member finally gets what you mean and he let out a smile. He puts down the memo and pushes himself up from his chair and walks towards you. • Thankfully the design of his room is made up of walls, once the wooden door is closed; no one knows what happens inside. • “So, you are fine with us dating in real life then?” You can feel his breath as he is only one step away from you. This time you are not going to back away and you look at him straight in the eyes. • “I will need to adjust a bit. You have a problem with me being your girlfriend?” you reply with him with another question. • ONF member unconsciously let out another smile, he quickly hides it with his hand,  “No, not at all…” and those were the words you can hear coming out from him • “That settles it then.” You widen your grin towards him before turning around ready to leave his office. • But you are being pulled back by a pair of arms. Your back come contact to his chest area. He is hugging you from behind you. • “Seriously, I don’t get you.” He low key complains. “I thought you are going to hate me for real this time.” • “I was going to, you did not texted me and you acting like nothing happened after that night.” You pout as you explain to him. “I thought I have ended my career the moment you told me who you are. And who would have thought a decent CEO would date someone randomly they met in a online chatting app?” • “I am sorry; I thought leaving you unbothered for some time so that you don’t get stressed out.” You could tell from his tone he does feel apologetic. He never sounds like that before during work.
• "But I am dead serious on trying to start a proper relationship with you that’s why I suggested for us to meet up.” he continues. “Glad you felt the same.”
• You freed yourself from his hug and turn to him. • “Now listen, (ONF member’s name), as we are professionals, I do hope you understand that there is a clear line between work and private life.” You remind him. “Just because we are dating now, does not mean that I am going to let you off easily if you messed up during work, ok?.” • “Man, I don’t think I will ever win you huh?” ONF member only look at you affectionately and continues, “As you wish, my beloved assistant/secretary.”
A/N : the concludes for this oneshot headcanon fic should there are more ideas I might write a continuation about this pair for a part 2. Also thinking of linking the universe with MInkyun Florist AU, just a maybe. 
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bettsfic · 4 years ago
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Hey! I was just wondering if you would soapbox a little about your creative process. I absolutely adore your writing advice but was wondering a bit more about how your ideas form and how you choose which to pursue and do finished products look like you want them to? What's a bad habit you're trying to break? No obligation to answer, especially cause an anon is like tell me your secrets! But thank you for all you've written, you are so helpful and kind
thanks for the great question anon! i wrote a bit about my drafting process here but that doesn’t encompass the idea building side of things (also i’ve made some changes to the process so i was thinking about writing a more cohesive, updated version at some point).
i tend to think of project ideas as piles of aesthetic, and usually i only begin writing once the pile has toppled over and i can’t not write it. that’ll make more sense in a moment. 
i’ll walk through 2 examples of my idea generating process, from how they started to where they are now. 
1. Vandal
Vandal is a novel i’m working on that i really have a lot of hope for. i’m about 60k words in right now and 75% finished. it’s about a teenage girl (sierra) who casts a spell on her hot, helpful neighbor (frank) to bind them together. the spell ends up working but backfiring when he becomes her foster father. then, in his custody, sierra gets jealous and casts a spell on his girlfriend (jenny) to break them up, but that backfires too: sierra gets taken out of frank’s custody and placed with a manipulative and abusive foster brother (leo). frank more or less kidnaps sierra and they have to Run From The Law. throughout the novel, sierra is inwardly battling Vandal, an immortal archangel that has possessed her and is trying to get her to kill herself so he can break free of the prison of her body.  
the idea for that story has a looooong breadcrumb trail and a huge aesthetic pile. since i couldn’t manage to get Baby traditionally published, i had a lot of that dynamic i could adopt into something else. i wrote at length about where that idea came from but i can no longer find that post (UPDATE: here it is). it’s somewhere in my training wheels tag. in short, i spent an entire summer watching/reading age gap stories and the male perspective in them bothered me a lot, so i wanted to write a story from the younger party’s perspective, and do the reality of those situations justice. i wrote that story, though, so i didn’t want to rewrite it. 
then, in december 2019, for reasons i don’t remember, i started reading snape/hermione fics. i really liked the dynamic, but it was a little too angsty for me, and none of the fics gave me the catharsis i was looking for, which was basically Grouchy Soft Boy Takes Care Of PTSD Weary Girl. being unable to find anything that fit the exact no-conflict, angstless dynamic i was looking for, i decided to write it myself using an A/B/O reylo idea i’d been kicking around for about 8 months but i could never land on, because i didn’t know if i wanted ben or ren. that fic turned out to be Reclaimed.  
to answer one of your questions, Reclaimed didn’t turn out the way i wanted it to at all, and i’m still kind of shocked by the traffic it has. i felt bad about writing it, because i was setting down so many other things to work on it, and it was a struggle from start to finish. at the time (and this is a major theme of my process), i thought it was a waste of energy.
but it opened a very important thematic concept to me, which is the idea of voicelessness and trauma, and recovery through finding one’s voice.
fast-forward to february, i’m headcanoning with @star-sky-earth just days before i have to head to nebraska for a writing residency. she and i are talking about a certain male celebrity who shall not be named, flirting with his younger female costar who shall not be named, and i said something along the lines of, ��wouldn’t it suck to get a crush on a dude like him, only to find out he likes you back, and then you realize he’s actually kind of shallow and boring?”
i remember distinctly saying, out loud, “god fucking dammit,” because, right then, an aesthetic pile had toppled over, and an entire novel unfolded itself in my brain. i pound out an outline. it’s garbage. i play around with a vocal gauge. it’s not quite right. then, two days later, i write an opening scene that i don’t think is great but i send it to some people and they’re like, oh this is fire. 
the aesthetic pile looks like this:
lolita, where dolores is the one in control
delusions of grandeur born from a major traumatic event
obsessions with fairy tales and the escapism they provide
the consequences of extreme neglect
forced voicelessness as both a theme and a major structural constraint
a lot of wolf imagery
non-chronological timelines
i proceed to spend the next two days driving across the country brain-writing. by the time i reach nebraska, i hit the ground running, and write for basically 30-40 hours a week for 5 weeks. then, because pandemic, i decide to stay 2 more weeks, but i hit a snag. i write about 14k of really boring drivel and realize my outline has failed me. i toss the 14k and re-outline and try again. then, my attention is rattled by a crush on a composer who has no interest in me. 
i go home and fall into my annual summer depression and i lose focus. so, that’s where i’m at. i really miss vandal but it’s gotten super dark and i’m finding it difficult to manage darkness with everything going on. which brings me to my next aesthetic pile that has recently toppled over.
2. Eden
that’s not the title but it’s the project name. i’ve begun writing a YA sci fi comedy with an ensemble cast. this aesthetic pile took years to build before it toppled. it started with Elixir of Erised, hands down the best fic i’ve ever written by a huge margin. i reread it this past winter and was kind of amazed i’d written it. 
i really liked the idea of a potion showing you your deepest desires, but until recently have not had the patience to build an entire world around it. so, for the past 3.5 years, i’ve kept a document of “if i WERE to a YA SFF book with the themes of EOE, what would i want to include?” over those 3.5 years, here’s what the list became:
dark academia vibes
heist plot
soulmates
that list is not really conducive to an entire universe, and i never had the motivation to sit down and think through it. 
then i watched breaking bad, and a lot of things started clicking. at the same time, i was talking to my buddy kyle about my fallen knight archetype schematic, and i began fleshing out all the archetypes that went with it. i came up with 12. i built a database. i thought, wouldn’t it be cool to write something with ALL 12 ARCHETYPES?? haha but who would be dumb enough to do that?
me. i would. 
with breaking bad as the missing plot piece (which introduces the idea of conflict around the MANUFACTURE and DISTRIBUTION of addictive substances, with an ensemble cast of morally grey characters, which leads to a war), i had enough to get started. 
i wrote an outline. i wrote another outline. i wrote a third outline. i stopped to write some histories of this place i’d built. i wrote a fourth outline. gdocs became a mess so i downloaded scrivener and taught myself how to use it. i wrote a gauge of the first chapter and landed the voice on the first try. then i did a rough sketch of how a trilogy would go. then i outlined each book in the trilogy to make sure my character trajectories were on point. then i did a lot more worldbuilding. now i’m working on my fifth outline, which breaks the entire novel down scene by scene. 
and for Reasons, i’m tasking myself with writing the first draft in 6 days across two weekends. it’s a high-stakes adventure story with a very tight timeline, so i think it’s conducive to being written quickly.
which brings me to another question you asked, which is, what bad habits do i want to break? i always, always slow down at the halfway mark. sometimes i even give up. i have no idea why. no matter how much preparation i do, no matter how solid my endgame is, at the halfway mark i either slow to a crawl or set the whole project down and pick up something new. i do this with reading books, too. i can only ever read the first half of books. then i either skip to the end or put them down forever. it’s definitely something i have to figure out because at this rate i’ll never finish anything.
okay this took way longer than i thought it would to write but i hope it answers your question. tl;dr i follow aesthetic and thematic interests until they lead me to a point where i can’t not write the stories that develop from them. 
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flatt-flatt · 4 years ago
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What Andi Mack means to me
Andiversary Day 8: Fandom appreciation day
This will probably be a long ass post, so beware.
In Germany year 11 is when the final two years of school start and every grade counts into the final grades. You also get an entirely new class system which makes you more independent. I'm a naturally anxious person so you can imagine how scared I was when year 11 started for me. I spent half a year feeling lost and left behind and while everyone else was thriving on the new freedom I thought those would be the worst two years of my school career.
Around autumn I got a video recommended that was a compilation of the best coming out scenes and featured Cyrus' and Buffy's scene. I thought: "A Disney show with a gay character? When did that happen and why didn't I know about it?" So I looked up Andi Mack online and saw so many people praising it for its multiple good storylines that i wanted to give it a try.
I still remember that I thought I would just take a look at it and not get involved too much. Little did I know the friendom would become the best fandom I've ever been in.
So I watched the show and loved it and around Christmas when we-know-what happened I got involved with the fandom for the first time. That's a very sad way of getting close with y'all but that way at least something good came from the whole thing.
I caught up with the show and when season 3B was aired I'd already been sucked into the fandom. I started looking forward to Fridays and forgot about all the stress and pressure at school. I'd found a new community and safe space. I was less anxious.
Tbh the hiatus was the best thing that could have happened to me because I had four whole months of looking forward to new episodes and I had time to get to know the fandom, your headcanons, the cast and what's been going on before I joined. The hiatus actually delayed the release of last episode to my last day of school in year 11. You could say that Andi Mack helped me endure that year of school and was one of the things that made me come out of my shell.
I wanted to thank everyone who was responsible for Andi Mack, Terri Minsky, the wonderful cast, but especially the friendom. You helped me a lot.
I was so attached to the show that after its ending I spent an entire week painting fanart that I drafted at the restaurant the day after the finale aired. I think I'd never been more with the flow while painting or drawing something before, i spent all day working on the fanart. Maybe I'll reblog it again later.
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a-l-ias · 5 years ago
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Do You Even Know My Name?
(The Evolution of Peter Parker’s Names) Part I of IX
Alright, y’all, this has been a long time coming. This has been sitting in my drafts for about six months, and I’ve been too scared to post it, mostly because of who I wrote it for:
@yellowdistress, this is for you. All your stories and patience and headcanons and kindness touches everyone that has even just dipped their toes in the water of the Irondad fandom. You give us happiness and angst, comfort and hurt, fluff and love. Everything you do for us is unequaled, and nothing we can do will ever be able to repay you, but this is an attempt. I love you, Denni, and everything you do <3 <3 <3
Hopefully you enjoy it XD
(I am so rusty, I haven’t written to post in, like, two years)
I. Kid
It wasn’t anything personal, it was simply just how Tony operated. Perhaps it was a firm, remaining bulwark from his years as Howard’s verbal punching bag, or maybe a shield formed from an innate fear of emotion and an irrational aversion to intimacy -- whatever the reason, though, he flat-out refused to use people’s real names.
His best friend wasn’t James or Rhodes, he was Rhodey or Platypus or Honeybear.
His fiance wasn’t Virginia, she was Pepper or Honey or Babe.
Happy was Happy, not Harold. Cap was Capscicle, not Steve. Brucie, Point-Break, Legolas, Eye-Patch, Aunt-Hottie -- it was almost as if he never learned their real names in the first place. Tony himself wasn’t even quite sure why he did this, but it was an instinct. It made him feel safer, less vulnerable, with the threat of actually acknowledging his care for a person removed along with their name. Retrospectively, it was a rather ridiculous notion, because somewhere along the line, The Tony Stark giving you a nickname translated into “aww, he cares,” instead of “back off, bitch.” While Pepper certainly realized this, and Rhodey accepted it after Sourpatch had indelibly stuck, Tony himself seemed hopelessly oblivious to his underlying declarations of love.
Which is why, over the course of almost two years, he didn’t realise his utter and complete devotion to one excitable teenaged tornado.
According to Pepper, he’d held onto “kid” entirely too long. “Trust me, kid”... “I did listen, kid”... “where’d you come from, kid”...it all seemed -- to her, anyway -- like such a desperate attempt to distance himself. But, again, it was comforting: knowing that no matter what he did, this little, naive human being, who looked at him like he was the glowing savior of the Earth descending from the sky, would never be broken by the unavoidable Stark ability to ruin childhoods.
His physics Professor sophomore year at MIT called him kid. The butler Howard hired two weeks after Jarvis’ death called him kid. Neither of them particularly cared about him, but they hadn’t hurt him either.
He figured “kid” was a good compromise.
So he used it whenever he needed to remind himself that he didn’t give a shit about this kid, besides whether or not he ended up as spider-juice on the 5th avenue sidewalk. Lately, he’d had to pinch himself more and more.
God, this kid. This kid with his contagious grins and unflappable joy and persistent optimism. This kid with a heart as big as the moon and morals to rival those of Steve Rogers and brown eyes so wide, so wondrous. The more time Tony spent with him, the thinner he felt his emotional walls getting, and the thinner he felt his walls getting, the more stubbornly he pushed the kid away. It wasn’t fair to either of them, if he was being honest. Peter was simply looking for some sort of guidance. May was a wonderful, integral figure in Peter’s life, but even after all she’d been through, she still had her limits. What was she supposed to do when Peter woke up in the middle of the night with blood-curdling screams, convinced that the ceiling was falling down? What was she supposed to do when Peter came home crushed by the self-blame of only being two seconds from saving that jumper? Whereas May could offer the wisest, most sage advice about struggling through life, Tony was there as support when all the nightmares and guilt and trauma finally caught up. May couldn’t raise a superhero alone; it was part of The Deal. And it wasn’t fair to make Peter feel like he couldn’t go to Tony for his problems.
But Tony, as much as he hated to admit it, was scared of becoming attached. It had only been a few months since one of his best friends drove a shield through his chest and left him to freeze to death in Siberia, after all. Tony was a naturally guarded person. So he clung to “kid” like Cliffhanger to his branch and scoffed at Pepper’s insistence that he had a deeper connection to Parker than he let on.
But somewhere along the line, the meaning of the nickname shifted.
Sure, he never called the kid “Peter” or “Parker” or -- god forbid -- “Pete,” but just saying “kid” somehow made his voice soft and his tone affectionate and his eyes crinkle in the way he hated, because it showed all those stress-wrinkles.
Pepper pointed it out first after Karen had interrupted their date night with an extremely concerning vitals update. It had been a really nice night, too — candles and fresh bread and Prosciutto Carbonara that could give his mother’s a run for its money —before she’d flashed him that knowing smirk and rolled her eyes as he mouthed “what” over the receiver, listening to the call ring out.
“Shit-brained kid,” he muttered. He reopened the message from Karen and glanced at the steadily dropping blood-percentage.
Pepper raised her eyebrows over her wine. “Any reason why you aren’t running out of here?” she asked.
Tony heaved a heavy sigh, feeling the slowly-growing-familiar weight of crazed worry clunk on his shoulders.
He stuttered for words, for a second. Sorry, honey, I’ve been blowing you off for 5 years now and it doesn’t look like that’s going to change and you’re the flipping best person that’s ever lived, constantly putting up with my everlasting BS. She saved him with a nod towards the door, and soft smile, and a hand over his.
He loved this woman so freaking much.
With a quick peck on her cheek, he breezed out the door of the restaurant. His suit — compacted now in a wristwatch he was incredibly proud of, if he says so himself — folded around him, comforting, bolstering. FRIDAY blipped into his heads-up, shuffled over to make room for Karen.
Mr. Stark, I suggest calling emergency response, Peter is now at 26% blood-loss.
Before Tony had any time to react, FRIDAY interrupted, Calling Dr. Cho now, prepping medical equipment and OR. Cho would like you to know that her ER team is on its way to Spider-Man’s location. He’d never been more grateful for the utter and complete genius FRIDAY was.
He let himself relax slightly, because doctors meant survival for this idiotic teenager. Vaguely he remembered their argument as the Staten Island ferry sank into the harbour, thought of May’s angry face and demands for safety.
New determination sparked in his mind. His repulsors fired, and he was zipping into the night.
||
He found the Kid lying in a pile of fruit scraps behind the Broncs Women’s Shelter. He didn’t consider the implications, didn’t recognise the group of shy residents peeking at them through the darkened window. He just retracted the suit, stumbled forward desperately, because the rinds and peels were painted red, the sidewalk stained with a growing puddle of blood. It rippled outward from Spider-Man’s prone form. Supine, pallid, and skewered by a large, serrated hunting knife.
Tony blanched. Felt like he was going to hurl. “Oh...good...god…” he mumbled, horrified. He fell quickly to his knees, numb enough to everything but this dying kid that the hard smack of the sidewalk against his shins didn’t faze him.
He had no idea what he was supposed to do. Most of Iron Man’s injuries involved bruises: broken ribs, sprained joints, concussions, fractured bones. In all his years as a reckless “superhero,” he’d never gotten impaled.
Barton had, during the fight with Strucker. Nat had, by way of a particularly gruelling torture session. Steve, once, with fly-away detritus — but Tony had long since forced himself to forget those memories...all the worry he’d had for friends who’d betrayed him. So he floundered, hands hovering over the leather-wrapped hilt sticking straight up out of the Kid’s abdomen towards the sky like an arrow directing his impendingly separating soul to heaven.
The thought freaked Tony out even more. His breaths quickened, his vision blurred. Too late, he was recognising the tell-tale signs of a panic attack.
Now is not the time for this, Stark. Think, damnit!
Blood. There was blood seeping out from underneath him. That...couldn’t be good. If blood was pooling underneath the Kid, that meant there was a wound in his back. So the knife went the whole way through. There was no removing it — Tony remembered that much from whatever first aid course he’d been forced to take — one should never remove the object of impalement. That would let the blood flow more freely. Obviously, not too desired.
But blood was running anyway — in rivulets down the Kid’s suit, in waves over his hips. It occurred to Tony that this enhanced being probably had an enhanced metabolism, which meant blood rushing to the wound quicker.
Great. Kid probably couldn’t get drunk, but he sure-as-hell could bleed-out faster than a normal person.
He had to stem the flow. Shakily, his hands found his blazer and he yanked it off. Steeling himself, he wrapped the jacket around the hilt and pressed. Hard.
The Kid jerked back to consciousness with a strangled scream, and Tony was hurried to calm him down.
“Hey, hey, hey, it’s alright, it’s alright,” he assured, desperately, because the Kid was beginning to thrash. One of his arms knocked weakly against Tony’s — deliberately, Tony’d later assume, to attempt to get the older man to stop pushing on the wound.
“Stop it, Kid, stop it.” There was no force to his words, no thought, either. It was as if Tony was watching, removed by a wall of panic and hysteria, and his instincts had taken over — decided that under no circumstances was the Kid gonna sense Tony’s helplessness, because his voice sounded firm, confident, if tinny and far-away, to his ears.
Tony’s fingers were cold and tingly, his head buzzed and filled with cotton. His eyes focused, unwittingly, on the spreading circle of blood beneath his knees.
Shit, someone inside him thought, the other side isn’t covered.
And so he grabbed one of the Kid’s flailing wrists, gently, between two fingers, and wrapped his palm around the soaked blazer.
“Alright, kid, here’s what’s gonna happen: I’m gonna turn you on your side — it’s gonna hurt, it really will — but we’re gonna check out the back, gonna plug that side, too.”
He wasn’t sure if the Kid registered what he’d said, but the responding moan, the slight jerk of limbs in resistance, was enough for Tony. Pressing once more against his frigid fingers, Tony wedged his  s under the Kid’s back and rolled him over.
He cried out — a horrifying, heartaching sob of pain — as Tony ripped off his button-down, leaving him in only the white undershirt. The previously pristine shirt had bright red staining up and down the sleeves. The collar had ripped in Tony’s hurry to get it off, and he tails were scuffed with New York alley dirt. None of it stopped him as he shoved the wadded fabric against the bright bloodstain (stubbornly ignoring the glint of metal torn through the suit). With a shallow breath out, he roughly gripped the Kid’s shoulders and turned him back over, hoping the sidewalk would put enough pressure against the cloth.
“F-F-FRI,” he exhaled stutteringly. “ETA on the emergency crew.”
He almost didn’t hear her response over the Kid’s huge sob when he swapped their hands on the front of the wound. He was pressing again, and the Kid’s hands found his biceps, gripped with surprising strength for someone with — he checked his watch — 37% bloodloss. The Kid’s hands were coated in his own blood. They left handprints, like a brand of failure, against Tony’s skin.
3 minutes. He could do this for 3 more minutes.
Off in the distance, he could hear the subtle roar of the Quinjet’s engines; although, perhaps he was imagining it in panic. Nevertheless, it gave him hope.
Unknowingly, he’d begun talking to the Kid. He tuned in to it like shuffling through radio stations.
“You’re gonna be okay, kid, just hang in there. Just keep breathing — I know! I know it hurts, but if you wanna see May again, or that little friend of yours...what’sit’s...Fred? Greg? Something like that. You just gotta hold on, please, God, hold on kid…”
It was crazy, how in that moment, his brain finally registered what Pepper had been saying. Kneeling over this kid, hearing the Quinjet land and doctors barking orders and feeling hands haul him to his feet by his armpits, he finally listened to the softness, the tenderness, the care and emotion and worry behind his chosen nomer for one Peter Parker.
He watched the tiny, whimpering form of the Kid wheeled into the jet on a gurney. He sat when one of the EMTs pushed him onto a crate. He nodded when the sterile-smelling man asked him if he was alright. He curled into the blanket when it was placed around his shoulders.
Shock, someone said, far off. Get him back home, someone else said.
Home sounded good. It sounded safe. But the Kid...his Kid...his responsibility since he walked into the Parkers’ apartment last spring and basically blackmailed Peter into coming to Berlin with him...his responsibility was on that jet, and he was dying.
In a burst of movement, Tony was up, dropping the blanket and dodging the nurse’s attempt to sit him back down. The gangway was retracting, but Tony jumped the rising gap, jogged into the hull. They’d hooked the Kid up with an IV drip and several monitors. An anesthesiologist was coaxing the Kid to let the sedative take hold. The Kid, bless him, was trying to fight back, eyes wide and watering.
Tony approached him and gripped the hand scrabbling at the mask over his nose and mouth. The Kid’s eyes landed on him, and a funny expression overtook his features. His face relaxed, he stopped fighting. His eyes softened, lids slipping closed. Tony watched as the Kid relented to the pull of sleep, neither of their eyes leaving the other’s.
Peter felt safe, he suddenly realised. The Kid saw him, and felt safe.
Tony’s heart ached for a second, beating rapidly and stutteringly. He allowed himself to breathe for the first time since landing in the alley. Peter was safe, because Tony was there, still gripping his hand, and the doctors were bustling, working on stopping the blood flow and removing the knife, and the Kid had enhanced healing that would take care of what the doctors couldn’t.
An inexplicable, wholly-encompassing feeling of relief washed over Tony. He squeezed Peter’s hand in what he hoped was a comforting gesture.
“Sweet dreams, Kid,” he mumbled, letting every ounce of voice softness and tone affection and eye crinkles he had in him flood his being. “You’re gonna be okay.”
Hope you enjoy it Denni!
(tagging others in hopes that they’ll check out @yellowdistress, too, unless they already have, then amazing!: @fan-writer02, @aceofstars16, @mandaloriandragontrainer, @madasthesea, @hairasuntouchedaspartoftheamazon, @the-fanaddict, and @athingofvikings
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beingatoaster · 5 years ago
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Found something in my drafts tonight! Everything below the line is from... early 2018? I have no memory of writing it, but if I had bigger plans for it they’re not happening now, so. Might as well hit post.
---
My brain is still on a TAZ kick as I lie in bed here and is currently melding the sad fic I read last week about Taako outliving everybody and my general delight at Governor Kalen Gets Murdered fics.
So it's giving me Kalen, on the run after the Day of Story and Song, because of course the first thing Magnus would do with his newfound fame is execute his revenge--it's what Kalen would do, after all.
And in my headcanon, Kalen is an elf. (I know what the wiki says, but there’s no reason he COULDN’T be an elf.) So he figures all he has to do is outlive Magnus.
Except that even after he does, Kalen is KEPT on the run. And he doesn't understand it. Because Kalen doesn't understand friends. So he rationalizes: the old woman could have been a lover. The detective is a loyal son. The dwarf must owe a blood debt. The orc and the dragonborn, clearly mercenaries. He'll outlive them all, eventually.
He does outlive them all, eventually.
There's cities he still can never visit. A tree tried to kill him in Goldcliff; he was nearly eaten by half-grown purple worms in Refuge; he doesn't dare go near Dolphin Cove. But he's lived in the woods and on the fringes of society for a couple of centuries now, and he's ready to return to civilization at last. Neverwinter, especially, so he can start working his way into politics again.
He goes out to a restaurant one night. It's a nice place, quiet, lots of low light and candles. Not long after he sits down, a nearby table is filled by a party of four, what looks like two elves and two humans. He has a date; he doesn't pay them too much attention.
He gets up and goes to the bathroom; he doesn't see one of the elves get up and wave the rest of the table down, casual, a self-assured flip of his hand. He doesn't pay any attention when the elf follows him into the bathroom. He steps into a stall and shuts the door.
Then the elf who had followed him in starts talking.
“Y’know, for a while, it almost seemed like we’d hurt you just as bad by hunting as we would’ve by finding you, don’t you think? You’re a politician, aren’t you? People like you hate living out in the woods. Not that I’m a big fan either, but you would’ve really hated it. You can’t stick your fingers in everyone else’s pies when you’re afraid to talk to anyone who doesn’t live under a rock! If you’re used to running the show, that’s got to sting worse than a little murder might.”
Kalen stands frozen in the stall, hand hovering over his fly. Is the elf talking to him? He has to be. There’s no one else in the bathroom. And the elf’s rambling hits--very close to home.
“But then we heard about you showing your face in that little village out west. Woodcrest or something? And making friends in Rosehaven. Thought you’d waited long enough, huh? Getting back in the game? And right when we’d started thinking you’d beefed it offscreen somewhere! Anyway, now that you’ve popped back up, cha’boy has a promise to keep.”
Kalen breaks out in a cold sweat. Who is this elf, that he still cares about some dumb brute’s grudge, hundreds of years after anyone else would’ve forgotten?
“Take your time in there,” the elf adds. “There’s something I’m supposed to say, and I’m trying to remember my line.”
Mouth dry, Kalen eases the stall door back open. There’s the elf--there’s Taako, everyone knows his name, even five hundred years later--standing in front of the sink, preening in the mirror. He looks up when he sees Kalen in the reflection.
“He was only a human,” Kalen says, more confused than afraid. Maybe a little offended, even. “Why do you-”
“Now I remember!” Taako spins, and a second ago Kalen would have sworn he was holding a small compact, but now he has a wand in his hand. He raises it, and Kalen only has a moment to take in the sharp, smirking, vicious grin on his face. “This is for Julia.”
There is a bright light, and pain. Incredible pain, just so much agony, seeming to stretch on for another century. Taako didn’t bother to keep this clean. And then Kalen is standing over his body, a ghostly, insubstantial form--or maybe it’s this world that’s becoming insubstantial, the edges tearing away into smoke as he looks.
And there are three figures there, standing spaced around him, at a short distance. One stays back, but the other two move in, spectral fingers closing on his spectral arms.
“Normally we only handle necromancers,” one of them says, somehow managing to sound sheepish and threatening at the same time.
The other grins, a bony jaw somehow shaping itself into a rakish smile. “But this time, we’re making an exception.”
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terra-writes · 5 years ago
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Blog FAQ
Figured I would set one of these up this time around! If I make any additions or edits to this I’ll make a post letting you guys know! 
You’ve said “Terra” is just the name you go by online, so can we know your real name?
Simply put? No. My real name is incredibly unique and I would rather keep my online life and real life as separate as I can since where I live, fic writing is largely frowned upon. Also, I’m probably going to explain this bad, but I was told if I wanted to get published I’d have to delete all my fics or write under a different name so there was no crossover between the two. I choose instead to write my fic under a different name to save myself some trouble later on. To those that have learned my real name, I ask that you please don’t spread it around.
What is your general activity like on this blog?
Well last November I started a job where I work a standard 40 hour week. I’m generally away from home from 11am to about 9pm 5 days a week. I do have a pretty set schedule, so for now I’m always off Mondays and Fridays. This blog isn’t my main one, so the only times I’m online and able to check it, is when I’m at home and on my laptop. So except for the days that I’m off, I’ll likely only ever be online in the evenings. If I go to post a work, I’ll likely always schedule it to post between 12 and 1pm the following day.
What is your timezone?
I live in, and operate out of US Central Time. If you don’t quite know how much to add/subtract, the United states is divided into 4 timezones: Eastern time is one hour ahead of me, Mountain Time is one hour behind, and Pacific Time is 2 hours behind me. I don’t quite know how to calculate it for overseas timezones but if people send in the calculations for their timezone I can always edit them in here.
What is your uploading schedule like?
I can’t really say I have one. Every time I’ve tried to keep to one It hasn’t always worked out for me for some reason or another. 
How does your tagging system operate?
I always try to keep the tags as relevant and to the point as possible, since tumblr has a limited amount of tags you can add to a post. Here is a small list of what I will tag:
Characters with a significant relevance/presence to the current plot. I might not tag certain characters if they show up in a work if their plot relevance was minor/they only spoke like once in the entire thing to save space.
The fandom
The type of work (Headcanon, ask game, etc. This might be combined with he above bullet point ex: “mha headcanons”)
if the work is fluff, angst, nsfw. Side note, my nsfw tag for this blog will be the word “sin” so works would be tagged with “mha sin” or “haikyuu sin” and things like that.
If the work is part of a series, I will tag the name of it.
If the work involves any oc’s of mine, I will tag their name like I would any other character.
If I reblog a work from someone else, I will try to include all the tags they used as well as what type of work it is, such as “AU,” “reader insert,” “oc story,” etc. Reblogged works will always contain the tag “other people’s writing”
I will always try to tag trigger warnings/any potential triggering content. However, if I run out of space in the tags, all potentially triggering content will always be listed at the top of the work in bold. And all content of the work will always be below a “read more.” If there is anything you want me to tag/list at the top of my work. Please DM or send in an ask letting me know what content you want me to provide additional warnings for. I will never purposefully not tag a trigger, so if a work I’ve posted is missing a tag, please notify me as soon as you notice it so I can add it!
Writing will always be tagged with “terra writes” while almost every other kind of post will be tagged with “terra says.” This includes asks, announcements, updates, etc. I don’t recommend blacklisting the “terra says” tag, but most of the time other types of posts will be tagged with an additional secondary tag (update time, answered asks, poll time) So if you don’t want to see specific types of posts like polls, I would recommend blacklisting the “poll time” tag instead of the “terra says” tag.
You didn’t tag x trigger in your story/Can you please tag x in stories going forward?
Of course! If I forgot to tag something/tagged something wrong, please notify me! I often use the New X-Kit tag bundle extension and don’t always remember to delete a tag or include one. I’m only human and am prone to making mistakes even when trying to be as diligent as possible! I am also aware that people can have very different triggers, and I’m not always aware of what may or may not be a trigger. So if there’s something you want me to tag, send me an ask! I’ll always tag thins as “cw: <insert trigger>” 
Also please don’t ever assume I’m purposefully not tagging a trigger. Sometimes I genuinely miss putting the tag in/didn’t know the story needed it included.
Do you have a tag list?
Not currently! If you’re interested in being added please feel free to send me an ask or IM letting me know if you just wanted to be tagged in stuff involving a certain character, fandom, type of writing (drabble/headcanon), or series or any combination. I’ll keep a list in my drafts of the usernames and what you want to be tagged in. If you ever want to be removed, you’ll have to send me an ask letting me know.
What fandoms are you in?/What fandoms will you write for?
You can find a complete list of fandoms that I will write for here!
However, there are a few other fandoms I’m in that I just don’t feel like writing for. Those include: DC comics (mainly Young Justice), Pokemon, and Attack on Titan. I’m probably forgetting some, so I’ll update this list as I remember them. If you want to know if I’m in a fandom/will write for one, please send me an ask!
Do you write m/m, w/w, nonbinary, different ethnicities, etc?
Yes! If I’m writing a reader-insert story, I always try to keep the reader as gender-neutral and vague as possible unless something is specifically ask of me in the request itself. However to some degree I take liberties with the background of the reader. I will often make up a family situation, living arrangement etc. Again if there is anything specific about the reader you want me to include, please let me know. 
In the case of sin, I always default to a female gender/parts since that is what I am most familiar with. If you would like it to be non-specified/male parts/etc. you will need to tell me in the request itself.
Can I get a shout out?
You can! There’s absolutely 0 things wrong with asking for one and don’t let other people make you feel like shit for it. I know it can be hard starting a blog and getting your name out there, especially after the most recent updates which make it even harder for works to show up in the tumblr search function. This is why reblogging people’s works is even more important now than it had been in the past. I’m more than willing to give your blog a shout out if you need it! Feel free to send me an ask off anon from the blog, send an IM so I can make a post with the blog’s name, or even just ask me to reblog a story I liked from your blog. 
Do you have any Fic/Blog recs?
I’m pretty terrible about having the time to go and read as much fic as I used to be able to do, so I can’t really promote many other blogs than one’s I’ve already been following for a while/blogs of friends. Maybe one day that will change and I hope it does but as of right now I don’t think I’d be able to put together a very good list for people.
Do you write Dark Content?
I do not! However, this doesn’t mean I’m on a crusade against writers that do. As long as the people who write content like that keep everything tagged so that people who don’t want to read it, can skip over it, I literally do not care what they write about. But on a personal level, I do not want to write content like that, so I will not write or reblog dark content works on this blog.
If any dark content blog want to interact with my blog/works, they can do so. Just because I choose not to engage in dark content does not mean I am going to bar people that do from reading/interacting with my works if they enjoy it. I do ask that any dark content writers don’t reblog/reply to any nsfw posts of mine and add dark content to them.
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movedto-dazaipositive · 7 years ago
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what do I say? started on the parseposse, ended up here. probably gonna have a p2 if my adhd allows. sad as fuck
based on this post. I didn’t want to add my sad train wreck fic to the original. I’m assuming that the events of that headcanon go on to happen. as, they’re in the same universe.
warnings: temporary major character death as in Jack ODs but he lives
Kent grew up poor. they aren’t like, dirt poor, otherwise he wouldn’t be able to play hockey, but he and his mom are pretty strapped for cash
they have a house but his mom counts the bills every night and sometimes he can hear her crying through the walls.
but his skates were bought before his dad fucked off, and he’s been playing hockey as long as he can remember, and his mom does her best to keep him playing
and Kent doesn’t really know what it’s like to have a ton of parental support because his mom works three jobs to keep the afloat. she’s never home
and Kent is good at hockey, okay? he’s so good. but being too good at hockey and also being small is Bad, because he gets bullied. he gets called slurs and there’s one time where one of his teammates almost breaks Kent’s wrist, except that their coach walked into the locker room at that moment. Kent’s so scared by this he doesn’t sleep for a week
and Kent plays hard because he can’t let his mom down, and because it’s just the two of them. and he studies hard too, because what if he doesn’t get drafted? he needs to be able to work.
(note that my Hockey knowledge is sketchy af so correct me if I’m wrong)
and then he’s 15, at the Q, and he meets Jack for the first time.
jack’s parents, Kent learns, come to all his games. his dad is Bad Bob, and his mom is Alicia Zimmermann, and they still find the time to cheer their son on.
and when Kent finds out he can’t breathe for a second, because his mom has never had the time to come to his games. she was too busy making sure he was able to play.
and Kent and Jack are best friends by this point, because they get each other like no one else does.
so Kent hears first hand about how jack’s parents don’t really understand him, and how they nag him too much, that it’s so fucking hard to be Bad Bob’s son, and Kent hears this and he thinks, My dad walked out on my mom when I was eight
and Kent also sees how hard Bob and Alicia are trying to connect with Jack, support him and be there for him, and he can’t help but hate Jack for it.
because Jack has money and parents that love him and he still finds some way to be anxious
and one time Kent tells Jack that he grew up without a dad, and Jack says, Lucky you
and Kent still tries to be friends with Jack because Jack is the only one that gets what this game means to Kent. gets just how high the stakes are. because they’ll stay up late going over tape and drawing out plays on paper and get up before dawn the next day to put that into practice. no one else will do that with them
and he tries to be friends with Jack because he knows what it’s like to not have friends and he can tell that Jack does too, and maybe they can make things better for each other
but this isn’t about Jack and Kent. this is about Kent and Bob and Alicia
Alicia notices they way Kent looks at the Zimmermann family photos. at chubby eight y/o Jack and the shots from their summer in France. the wistfulness in his eyes.
she asks him about his mom one evening when Bob and Jack are out fishing and Kent doesn’t mean to cry but he does. he cries because he’s worried for her, for both of them. and because he misses her and can’t remember a time when he really had her
Alicia hugs Kent and makes him hot chocolate and strokes his hair and listens. not even Jack does that. and by the time Jack and Bob come back in, Kent is laughing, sitting on the counter and helping Alicia with dinner
he’s in the perfect position to see jack’s face when Jack spots Kent and Alicia. Jack frowns with half his face–his mouth doesn’t change but his eyes harden and his eyebrows draw in and then jack’s stomping up the stairs
he doesn’t talk to anyone all through dinner, except once to correct his dad on a hockey statistic. Kent doesn’t get why he’s so angry.
later, when he and Kent are getting ready for bed, Kent asks him. and Jack accuses him of sucking up to his mom
Jack hates volunteering at the pet shelter. but Kent will accompany Alicia. and Kent has opinions on pop music and he can talk about movies that aren’t any sports or action, and Jack hates it.
Jack can’t help but feel like Kent is the son his parents wish he was. charming and friendly and helpful
it’s the same with Bob; Kent likes to talk about racing cars. Kent likes mad magazine and prefers the crossword to the sudoku. Kent will not go golfing, and he hates fishing, but that doesn’t stop him from coming with Bob and Jack and asking stupid questions in a curious voice and saying and doing dumb shit that makes Bob laugh
and Jack hates it. Jack punishes Kent with silence and teeth in the kisses and making Kent skate suicides because "he needs the practice" until he vomits.
he doesn’t get why it’s so necessary to Kent. he doesn’t get why Kent sometimes picks jack’s parents over Jack. and Jack can’t really think about it for too long, because all he knows is that it feels like Kent is taking his place and doing all the things he’s supposed to do better than Jack ever can.
in this au, Jack sees the results of the draft before the pills. and it’s the last straw. the draft, Jack decides, is the last thing Kent takes from him. after that, there won’t be anything left
and Jack is drinking anyway, and there are the pills, and by the time Kent comes back up looking for Jack,
Jack is on the bathroom floor, choking on anxiety meds
listen there will, most likely, be a part 2. the posse is sure to kick my ass into gear at some point or the other.
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yaldev · 4 years ago
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As of today, we’re celebrating: 365 Yaldev posts, 4 years of this nonsense, and being exactly 7 years behind Beeple!
CELEBRATION:
365 posts! That’s one year of Yaldev! Well, if I had been writing one every day, which I absolutely haven’t.
It continues to be the case that looking back on posts even from less than a year ago, I think “man this sucks,” and I either know how to improve it at least a little bit while I’m there, or I can’t stand to even look at it and I just have to escape from it. I don’t feel too much pressure to fix the bad posts at this point; as of today, Yaldev’s been going for exactly four years now (if you skip leap days :thonk:), and in a sense it’s chronicled my progress as a writer during that time. Some entries have been modified since them, some changed entirely except for the name and art chosen. I think it only makes sense that reading through it in storyline order will be like traveling through different points of my creative skill, in much the same way as it means traveling through different points of Beeple’s art quality.
CIRCUMSTANTIAL UPDATES:
People I know in real life are bugging me to start a Patreon. It’d certainly be reasonable to start one now that I’m four years in, but I can’t justify setting one up without:
A more consistent creative output than I’m currently hammering out, so I’m not taking your money for less utility than I’m giving you
Something to offer patrons without compromising the project for non-patrons
Existing interest from some of my audience in throwing cash at me (dance, monkey!)
A possible solution to the first one is setting myself a bar: if I don’t write at least X words by the end of the month, I don’t receive anyone’s money for that month. Hopefully that makes people feel more comfortable backing someone inconsistent, since they’ll still receive their benefits during the down periods but not have to spend anything. For the second, I have ideas for what to offer, but they’d have to be on top of my current output rather than replacing it, so at present I can’t really work ahead on them without detracting from the main project. It’s hard juggling part-time school, full-time job, getting enough sleep, Yaldev, another creative project I have a stronger obligation to, a paper I’m writing for a conference, relaxation, and generic life stuff. That said, I could be happily coerced into making a Yaldev a higher priority if I have a financial obligation to a couple supporters. The real question is whether there’s any interest in that. I worry that when the project has gone on as long as it has, interest actually decreases over time if it’s seen as old news. On the other hand, maybe older followers have a sense of being with me since the early days, like they’re invested in this ride as well. I have little clue.
In any event, if a Patreon goes up, I absolutely won’t be shoving it in people’s faces at every opportunity, since I’m not in a position of financial need and money was never the point of this. The main project would continue to be 100% free, and benefits would only be for additional goodies; nothing you can currently see would be moved behind a paywall.
STATISTICS:
This is the fun part, lads! Get ready for some stats and some commentary!
Total Stories: 365
As should be obvious, all numbers are only for the point at which I'm writing this post. These only include the posts that are canon and which I wrote.
Project Age: 1460 Days
Exactly four years! I think it’s a fun coincidence that it lined up with the 365th entry.
How Long You Have to Wait, on Average, For the Next Post: Approximately 4 Days
My output has slowed down since the last update. Feelsbad, but I don’t hear much complaining and I hope that higher quality makes up for lower quantity. Even still, I’m trying to blitz through my to-do list and speedrun my coursework to make more time for this. I hope to eventually bring that down to 3.5, for an average of two posts per week across the project's history.
Readers Across All Platforms: 536 (107 on Tumblr, 135 on Facebook, 140 on Instagram, 154 on Reddit)
Howdy y'all! Thanks for being here and reading my steadily-improving crap. I really struggle with talking about my creative projects in real life, including Yaldev, primarily out of a self-trained instinct to shut myself up about it on the understanding that nobody cares—especially not other creative types, since we're all too invested in our own creation to pay much attention to others. I've been trying to overcome that, and you're helping me just by being here to read. That tells me there's potential in this and that it's something that at least some people genuinely want to see. Artists shouldn't attach their sense of self to their creations, but I can't help but feel validated through that.
At the same time, I do often fear that mine is the sort of content that just gets a like tossed at it for the pretty visuals on the way down the endless content scroll, without having made a real impression on anyone or created a lasting memory. I'll probably always have that worry, which comes as much from a disdain for general Internet culture as anything else. Late in 2020 I took a step away from social media, and I’ve only partially returned, with the result that scrolling through newsfeeds takes up much less of my time than it used to. Feels good. I’d encourage you to do the same, but then you wouldn’t be seeing my own crap as often. :^)
Stories Per Reader: Approximately 0.68
Makes it sound like a decent growth rate, if on average I'm getting one new follower per story half the time, and two new followers the other half of the time. I guess "good growth rate" is somewhat subjective and depends on your goal, but for me, having a tangible unit of increase for each feels good.
It’s actually a lot more variable than that, of course. Usually a given entry will either attract no new followers because I only put it up in my own spaces, or it’ll draw in a few if I post it to a space for content like mine.
Total Word Count: 89,721
I typically operate under the assumption that most novels are about 75k, while sci-fi and fantasy novels tend to be longer since their authors are physically incapable of shutting up, putting them at around 100k. We’ll definitely reach that, and it probably won’t even take that long.
Average Story Length: Approximately 246 words
The 245-255 range is what feels good to me. Part of Yaldev’s appeal compared to books, in theory, is that if you’re consuming it the normal way, you’re getting it in bite-sized chunks as part of your scrolling experience. So I theoretically prefer to keep them on the short side, even if in practice I actually go ham and write stuff that’s quite long. The average here is really being dragged by 100-word posts previously being a lot more common than they are now.
STORY PLANS GOING FORWARD:
So the most recent entry, Gemstones as Mana Sources, was Beeple’s art from February 15, 2014. Today’s exactly 7 years from then, so I actually have an easy bar now for whether I’m catching up to the dude or not. 
When I started this project, I began with his art from July of 2014 and then started moving forward. I got to about September 2015 before I decided that I wanted to go hardcore and go through all his art from the very beginning, at which point I warped back to his art from the very beginning in 2008, and started going through it in chronological order. I think I made that shift back in 2019, and now we’re getting back to the era of his art that I actually started this project with. All of this is to say that soon you’re probably going to notice an uptick in the art quality, either to something new if you’re new, or to what it was like in the Good Ol’ Days™ if you’ve been following this for a long time. As mentioned earlier, I no longer feel super bound to what I’ve written before: I prefer maintaining consistency, but some threads not being tied up and some contradictions are fine. I think the biggest one is that the state of magic’s legality in the Ascended Empire has never been made super clear, but I’m actually okay with that. I know that in the Imperiomancy entry I mentioned how its use by officials varied depending on who held power in government, and magic as a whole could be an even more complex issue that varies by time as well as region. I unironically think that Yaldev is the kind of world that has room for headcanon, so while I’ll try to fix egregious errors, you’re also quite justified in having your own handwaves for my screwups.
I don’t have any updates for any of the storylines really, except for the stuff with Inzohm and the Lone Traveller, for anyone keeping up with that: consider all of it to be in rough-draft at the moment. It’s the kind of long-con story that I really can’t coherently tell the way I do with the rest of Yaldev, so everything I write for it is more like notes that I can later on collect, shuffle, remix and rewrite until it’s semi-coherent. Turns out that Yaldev has helped me develop a number of skills as a writer, but telling better character-driven narratives isn’t one of them—partially because my chosen process, medium and inspiration-artist doesn’t lend itself too well to such stories.
Thanks for being here. What I always wanted as a kid was for other people to be as excited about my worldbuilding as I was, and while I doubt I've hit that extent with Yaldev, I hope my work's had some impact on you, or that it has parts you remember and enjoy. If you have any questions or comments you’ve been too shy to put elsewhere, feel free to drop them here! If not, just stick around and I’ll see you again at post number 400!
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ritahanson · 7 years ago
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Today, August 16th 2017, marks one whole year of this blog. I don’t think people will be too surprised, given yesterday’s news, that I’ve actually rewritten this part of this post from a very different perspective to when I put it in my drafts last week. News of the Broadway production closing next month has made me heartsick because this beautiful, clever show deserves far better than what it has received, largely, over the course of the transfer. A year ago today it was press night at the Old Vic, and the unfair irony of that fact in light of last night’s news hasn’t been lost on me. No musical has ever come to mean quite this much to me, and it would be difficult to put into words (succinctly, at least) how deep an impact it has made upon my life. I’ll likely take time closer to September 17th to talk about this in more detail, but for now I want to talk about one of the major ways the musical has impacted me: through this blog, and through you lot.
Rita is very different to the majority of the characters that I’ve written before, and it’s no secret that sometimes I’ve struggled with a degree of insecurity about my portrayal of her. But the way she’s been received - the anons sent my way, the IMs people have sent me, the reactions to her backstory and headcanons from both fellow roleplayers and members of this fandom alike... It’s honestly been one of the nicest experiences I’ve ever had in this community. She’s such an important character to me, and to know that people think I’m doing her justice means far more than you know.
I’ve put this under a read more, because this is a very long post. Know that if you’re reading this, if you follow me, if you’ve ever come to speak to me about this show or headcanons or anything else, I’m more grateful than I can possibly express  ♥
❄  a little town with a heart as big as any town  ::  Some of you have followed me here from my other blogs (which I will always love you for!), some of you I’ve interacted with a lot and others I’m only just getting to know. Regardless of how much or how little we’ve spoken, I adore having you on my dash (and / or my Twitter feed(s)!). I love seeing your writing, your headcanons, your interpretations of your respective characters - and your OOC rants and fangirling and all that stuff, too. Thank you for being your wonderful selves, and I sincerely hope I get the chance to interact with you all even more in the future  ♥
@almostdisaster  -  @heartreveals  ❄  @capturedafeeling  ❄  @carryindabanner  ❄  @chipconnoisseur  ❄  @conscixnceclean  ❄  @dearbewildered  ❄  @dencuement  ❄  @destinymade  -  @noterasable  ❄  @diiagnose  ❄  @dreamtbound  ❄  @goodliest  ❄   @grownvp  ❄  @hurricaneteazer  ❄  @insanelycooljk  ❄  @legendofmellda  ❄  @lookedpathetic  ❄  @miraclematildawormwood  ❄  @ofhalfway  -  @centrestaged  ❄  @pariswaiting  ❄  @princeorlofsky  ❄  @sanjvnipero  ❄  @secondchanced  ❄  @solorespiira  ❄  @starcoveredcuffs  -  @prcudandlcud  -  @singingtwiins  ❄  @stillsmiiling  ❄  @suddcnlyseymour  ❄  @thetcughest  ❄  @toughlittleguy  ❄  @unionleader  -  @starseized  -  @russiaraised  ❄  @winewomenwit  ❄  @withasigh  ❄  @worldoftheskeptic
❄  and i would make a lot of friends   ::  You guys are so important to me, and your characters are so important to Rita, that I don’t think I’ll ever adequately be able to explain how influential you’ve all been when it comes to this blog. I love the five of you so much, and I could honestly have written small essays about how utterly terrific you all are. I’ve tried to be concise when talking about you all here, but know that I think the absolute world of each of you and I’m so glad to have you in my life  ♥
SHEETAL  &  WILL  ::  @skittle479  &  @thejestershrugs
You two are unique on this list in that neither of you are roleplayers, but you are probably the two people this incredible musical has brought me closest to - and your both pretty imperative in my having maintained my enthusiasm both for the show and for writing Rita over the time we’ve known each other. I’m lucky to have shared so many Skype chats with the two of you this year, and luckier still to have had the chance to actually spend time with you both - which needs to happen again! You’re both absolutely wonderful and two of the best, sweetest, funniest, smartest people I’ve ever met on this site, and I’m thankful every day that this musical brought us all together. I hope you know how much I love you both  ♥
RAY  ::  @totheband​  -  @drivenashell​  -  @sgtson​  -  @newdaycomes​  -  @perksingup​  -  @afinecompanion​  -  @comicsup​
I struggle to remember the last time I clicked quite so quickly with another writer. Ray, I think you’re fantastic - I know I’ve told you that before, and this certainly won’t be the last time I say it. You’re so kind and so clever and so talented, and I absolutely mean it when I say that you are a literal ray of sunshine every time I see you on my dash or my timeline. You write such a diverse range of characters so exceptionally well, and the passion you put into that is nothing short of inspiring. You know how important two of your characters are to Rita, and I absolutely cannot wait to develop those friendships even more - and to get a chance to develop her relationships with all of your others! More than that though, I can’t wait to just keep getting to talk to you - about life, about this show, about other shows. You’re a wonderful person Ray, I love you a lot and I’m so glad to know you  ♥
MATTY  ::  @dclbarrio​  -  @ichoselooks​  -  @tobetrue​  -  @grxwnup​  -  @societybound​
By this point in time I know that you know how important you are to me, but it bears repeating anyway! It’s been a good few years since we first started talking (three, did we work it out as?), and we’ve both had our fair share of blogs in that time. You’re one of very few people I’ve ever followed from blog to blog, and there are a lot of reasons for that. You are easily one of the most talented, intelligent, witty and kind people I’ve ever had the pleasure of getting to know, and I hope you realise how important our friendship is to me. I always love writing with you no matter what blogs we happen to be on because you write each of your characters with such detail and such a unique voice (and who can forget our penchant for shared NPCs!), and I love logging on to find another long IM about theatre and life and gossip and everything else from you. Hopefully we’ll get the chance to catch up properly over a cup of tea again sooner rather than later! I love you so much Matty, thank you for putting up with me for so long  ♥
REBECCA  ::  @philconnors​
I’ve said before now - more than once - that I’d never have started writing Rita if it wasn’t for your encouragement, and I know that I wouldn’t still be writing her now if not for you. I don’t think either of us could have predicted how important this show would be to us both - how tied up into the beginning of our relationship it would be, or how many adventures we would have as a result of it. Thank you for not thinking twice about all the stupid things we do for the love of theatre. Thank you for encouraging me to write Rita. Thank you for being the best writing partner that I could ask for. Thank you for always rambling and ranting with me about Phil and Rita, about this show, about every other show we’ve shared a love for, and about everything else in our lives. Thank you for always being there for me. Thank you for loving me as much as you do. I love you more than anything in the world. You’re my best friend, and the love of my life, and I’m so lucky and so thankful that I have you to share all these adventures with. There are so many more adventures to come - my love, we haven’t even started  ♥
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helianthus21 · 7 years ago
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10 questions
Rules: Always post the rules, answer the questions given to you, then write 10 questions of your own, and tag 10 other people.
Tagged by @starsinursa thank you!:)
1. Who is the most important person in your life?
I’d say my mom, dad, sister
2. What was your least favourite subject in school?
Chemistry.
3. If you could trade places with anyone on earth for one day, who would it be?
Heh. Robert Singer?:P I’d make a lot of decisions for SPN that somehow can’t be undone later (shhh I could do that). Like hiring Felicia and Shoshannah as series regulars, setting up a contract that says they can’t kill them off on the show ever, changing Misha’s contract so that he’s in more than 10 eps per season..stuff like that:P
4. How did you discover Supernatural and why did you decide to watch it?
I don’t really remember, I kinda just zapped in to Changelings and I was hooked, and I was looking for a new show to watch anyway so
5. Who was your role model growing up?
idk my sister? my cousin? some fictional character, probably from HP?
6. Are there any local legends or myths where you live and if so what are they about?
my grandpa told me about the Nachtkrapp when I was a kid, and my grandma had little figures of them, they were pretty creepy.. It’s a story meant to scare kids into going to bed.. I don’t think my mom approved, but I didn’t think to much about it, I mean if you grow up with fairytales where ppl cut off their heel just so the prince chooses them, this is rather mild^^
7. If you could abolish one thing that happened on Supernatural from its canon what would it be?
hmmm.. I don’t see Bucklemming scripts as canon so that leaves out 1) that Charlie thing 2) that Eileen thing 3) all of 9x03 4) Toni mindraping Sam ... so what to choose? Maybe Amara macking on Dean, I know that being non-con was the point, but that always made me rather uncomfortable. also put that girl in better fighting gear, you can’t destroy the world in a dress I mean.. honestly
8. What do you do on weekends to relax after a particularly stressful week?
couch + chips + movie/TV show/book
9. Is there a headcanon about Supernatural you have never shared on tumblr?
never shared? hmm.. did I say I prefer Balthazar (or literally anyone else) being Cas’ first time rather than someone who tortures and kills him the morning after?:)) (that’s a joke Misha made once at a con, I believe - that Sebastian plays the angel who deflowered Cas or sth - so I just take this and make it my own canon^^)
10. The Quote you want to be remembered by: uff I can’t think of a good quote rn..
I’m not gonna think up my own questions or tag anyone bc I did this already, but if anyone wants to..;) Also, I have that fandom tag game in my drafts but I can’t think of two other fandoms argh
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aroberuka · 8 years ago
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Evens for writers ask meme?
2. Where is yourfavourite place to write?
Either the kitchen table, which is the perfect height for my laptop & the only place in the house that gets sunlight in the morning, or my bed tbh.
4. Do you have anywriting habits/rituals?
Not writing habits so to speak but I do have a getting ready to write ritual that mostly consists of dragging myself out of bed and going for a walk.
6. Favourite characteryou’ve written?
Mouse!Surana, hands down. I kinda just made her on the spot for that one oneshot and as a result she ended up radically different from my usual OCs (they’re not usually this… driven xD), which made her such a blast to write.
8. Do you have anywriting buddies or critique partners?
@coppercaravan​ has been both for a little bit over a year and they’re such a pleasure to work with tbh.
10. Pick an author (orwriting friend) to co-write a book with
1) @coppercaravan we should stick our OCs together and see what happens, y/y?
2) That being said it’s super easy to get me to write with you literally all you have to do is drop into my inbox like “hey we should write a thing” and be very patient with my spoonie ass.
12. Which story ofyours do you like best? why?
Honestly it’s the quasiplatonic solavellan fic. I love Tathas, I put a lot of work and also a lot of me into it, I have a lot of thoughts about what’s coming next and I really wish I could finish it already esp since it wouldn’t be that long (like. 8-10 chapters tops, not counting a potential Trespasser sequel) but I haven’t been able to get in a DAI mood for forever x_x
14. What does it takefor you to be ready to write a book? (i.e. do you research? outline? make a playlist or pinterest board? wing it?)
Ideally I’d need the stars to align perfectly on a week with two Mondays, but more realistically what I need is:
-a playlist, or at least a couple artists that’ll put me in the right mood
-character sheets with some basic info + relationship charts + their stake in the plot
-a rough chapter by chapter plan that will inevitably fly out the window by the time I finish chapter 1.
16. Cover love/dreamcovers?
Not really, no.
18. Tell us about thatone book you’ll never let anyone read
So back in January there was that self-insert month thing, and I figured why the hell not, but b/c I’m apparently unable to write self-indulgent fluff and also I was in a Mood it turned into a writing as therapy thing and now I don’t know what to do with it b/c on the one hand I do want to write it & I think it would help me deal with some stuff but on the other idk that I would ever be able to let anyone read it, let alone post it online.
20. Any advice foryoung writers/advice you wish someone would have given you early on?
Length is overrated, short chapters are fine and the only good piece of writing advice is that there is no such thing as universal writing advice.
22. Tell us about thebooks on your “to write” list
… I’m not gonna give you a full list b/c it would be ridiculous but the ones that are on my brain atm are:
-- Présages aka The Novel aka that one story about ghosts that turned into a story about the importance of healthy communication & a good support system.
-- A novella about an aromantic protag that was supposed to be a subplot of the previous but is now its own thing so I can give it the attention it deserves.
-- A fantasy novel that started with me listening to too much critical role and is basically a thinly disguised metaphor for fighting against depression.
(All of them are depression books tbh and I’m not even a little bit sorry.)
And then there’s the fics:
-- A post Akuze longshot feat. Leo, grief and politics.
-- A Leverage/HP crossover feat. pre-canon Eliot, wizards and poor attempts at dragon smuggling.
-- A CCS/Naruto crossover that I’ll probably never write tbh b/c the sheer size of it is terrifying to me, but I like to dust it off every other month anyway b/c I put a lot of thought into it.
24. Do you remember themoment you decided to become a writer/author?
I don’t remember the moment I started to write – that was a long long time ago – but the moment I decided to become a writer I’m pretty sure was when I read The Princess Bride, b/c I very distinctly remember closing the book and going “I wish I’d written that”.
26. What’s the mostresearch you’ve ever put into a book?
It’s kinda hard to tell tbh b/c my research, like everything else, tends to be scattered in short bursts over months/years, but my most recent research-heavy project has been the Leverage/HP crossover, which has led me to a lot of reading on poaching/smuggling as I tried to figure out how one would go about smuggling a dragon.
Turns out there’s no actual book on dragon smuggling but I ended up learning a lot about butterfly smuggling, which as it turns out is
1)a thing
2)very serious business.
28. How do you stayfocused on your own work and how do you deal with comparison?
I don’t. I don’t stay focused on anything, ever. I also deal very poorly with comparison even tho the only one doing the comparing is my own self.
30. Do you like to readbooks similar to your project while you’re drafting or do you stick to non-fiction/un-similar works?
I do! I find it very helpful esp. when I’m writing in a genre/style I’m not used to. I try to avoid it with fanfiction tho so as to avoid accidentally absorbing other people’s headcanons into my own work.
32. On average how muchdo you write in a day? do you have trouble staying focused/gettingthe word count in?
Tbh I usually count in ‘pages’ (quote/unquote b/c I’m using my own format which is considerably shorter than what you probably think of when you hear ‘page’), and I’m trying to get myself to two pages a day for The Novel but I’m considerably slower when I’m not writing in French b/c language is hard.
34. Unpopular writingthoughts/opinions?
-- Character death is overrated.
-- The idea that conflict is necessary to tell a good story is highly subjective and even if it wasn’t a good conflict shouldn’t just boil down to ‘characters being horrible (or downright abusive) to each other’/‘characters being forced to commit or witness atrocities’ over and over again.
-- Romance is boring and so is smut.
-- Young/aspiring writers need positive feedback way, way more than criticism, constructive or not; constructive criticism overall is overrated (which isn’t to say that it’s never useful but like it’s not The One True Way For A Writer To Improve that a lot of ppl try to sell it as).
36. Post a snippet
She’s always been lucky is the thing.
Lucky to find the Reds when she needed them, lucky to lose them when she no longer did, lucky to get caught by the right people at the right time, lucky to be offered military service instead of prison, lucky that Anderson had seen something in her no-one else ever had.
Lucky to survive doesn’t feel so special.
38. How do you nailvoice in your books?
Honestly that is one thing that comes p much naturally to me? Like whenever I write in a character’s voice I can usually ‘hear’ what I’m writing so to speak, which makes things considerably easier tbh.
40. Do you look up toany of your writer buddies?
What kind of question is that I look up to all of y'all??? I’m not even kidding here y’all are amazing and talented and I’m so thrilled I got to meet all of you?
42. How many drafts doyou usually write before you feel satisfied?
I’d say 2-3 though it’s kinda hard to tell b/c I don’t strictly speaking work in full drafts, I tend to go back and forth between paragraphs instead.
44. Why (and when) didyou decide to become a writer?
I must have been like 16 or something. Hell if I remember why except I love stories and it seemed like a good idea at the time?
46. Past or presenttense?
I actually prefer past tense despite my current inability to write it (idk why all my fic end up being present tense but I suspect English).
48. Do you prefer towrite skimpy drafts and flesh them out later, or write too much and cut it back?
I mean most of my fics are already under 500 words long can you imagine if I actually cut stuff from them? :p
50. Do you share yourrough drafts or do you wait until everything is all polished?
I tend to wait until everything is polished but also, again, it’s super easy to get me to share rough drafts or even outlines with you b/c I am weak and crave validation.
52. Who do you writefor?
Me. Always.
Like listen the fact is actually talking openly & honestly about personal stuff even to people who have been there for me in the past is literally the hardest thing for me to do and I got so damn good at avoiding it I don’t even have to think before I do it anymore, and sometimes it feels like writing is the only way I can actually properly communicate anymore. So yeah I’d be lying if I said I didn’t care about ppl loving what I write but it will always be first and foremost something I do for myself.
54. Favourite firstline/opening you’ve written?
already answered here
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