#me like 'but is this year's really *that* accurate if I listened to so much less than the last two years'
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asexualenjolras · 2 days ago
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I have seen a lot of Enjolras and Grantaire pairings over the years, but none have ever seemed more like boyfriends than James D. Gish and Connor Jones on the Les Misérables Arena Spectacular tour, and I need to talk about it.
James' Enjolras is so confident and is so committed to the revolution, but he is also very human and very soft with Grantaire and Gavroche. Througout the show they are seen together like a little family unit, and you can see that Enjolras cares for them both. He's conflicted throughout the show, and is very protective over them both.
Connor's Grantaire (and I say this every time I see him) is another level - he is so brick accurate and he portrays Grantaire with so much care. He's the usual drunken R, but he is so gentle and he feels things so deeply. He's anxious, and emotive and cynical, but he wears a mask and pretends to be okay. He's so aware of everything going on and he cares about his friends. And he cares about Gavroche; he's like the little brother that he never had. And he is so enamoured with Enjolras - he doesn't take his eyes off him for more than 2 minutes the whole time they're on stage. Connor Jones Grantaire will always be my favourite.
During Look Down, James' Enjolras is so confident. You can see how much the cause matters to him, and you really believe in him. And he's so human in Red & Black - he's clearly a little bit nervous, but when he looks to Grantaire and sees that he is smiling at him, he gets a boost of confidence. It's really sweet, and I've never seen that before. When he sings "don't let the wine go to your brains", he's poking fun at Grantaire and offers him a cheeky smile, which makes Grantaire laugh too.
Connor's Grantaire holds his wine bottle up to the roof in reply, laughing, and is reprimanded by another student. He, playfully, stands to attention and listens to Enjolras again following that. He goes towards Enjolras once he finishes singing, but immediately stops when Marius walks in and takes to teasing him. Enjolras speaks to the other students and intervenes before they can tell Grantaire off and tells them he will sort it. But he can't help himself but laugh at him when he's teasing Marius. He pulls himself together and continues with the song, keeping his eyes on Grantaire to make sure he's listening and he looks so proud of himself when he realises he's getting through to him.
Until Grantaire and Marius start up again, and then he looks so defeated but, again, can't help but smile. He's rolling his eyes but he's laughing because he just can't help it when he's watching Grantaire. It was so sweet.
It really was as if he was torn between upsetting Grantaire, and upsetting the rest of the Amis. And it worked really well. He was so relieved at the end of the song when Grantaire stopped joking around. He verbally said "YES" when Grantaire said "give me brandy on my breath and I'll breathe them all to death".
THESE TWO. They are such boyfriends.
Grantaire looks so concerned when Gavroche tells the Amis that Lamarque has died, and he runs straight over to him to make sure he's safe as the students prepare. He takes such a big drink of his wine and forces a smile onto his face for Enjolras. Enjolras constantly looks at Grantaire during the song, and Grantaire is doing the same but with so much love and pride in his eyes. James' Enjolras is so confident in what he believes in, but he is so soft with Grantaire and I really love that choice. While Grantaire stands with Gavroche, Enjolras is constantly seen walking over to them both and they really do seem like a little family. 
As Grantaire sings "let's give them a screwing they'll never forget", Enjolras looked at him with so much pride and smiled so wide once the words processed in his mind. 
After Èponine died, Enjolras was looking behind himself like a lost puppy and Grantaire stumbled forward and offered him his hand with so much desperation to try and help the man he loves. But Enjolras pulled away from the hold when Valjean clambered onto the barricade, leaving Grantaire holding his arm out. Gavroche gave him a little nudge but R looked so broken and upset. He literally growled the "a volunteer like you" line through gritted teeth.
After Enjolras shoots down his "so the war is won" line, he shakes his head and rolls his eyes as he walks to the back of the stage. It's at this point that you can see that Grantaire is really understanding that they're all going to die. He drinks some more and sits with Gavroche as Valjean and Javert have their confrontation.
At the start of Drink With Me, Grantaire stumbles (again) to the front of the stage, looking around at his friends and taking in what they're saying. He holds his arms up and then a few of the Amis stand up and storm towards him as he sings his part (with such a broken voice). But before they can get to him, Enjolras pulls them back and pushes them away from Grantaire, and they both look at each other on the "will the world remember you when you fall?" line, with Enjolras placing a comforting hand on Grantaire's shoulder.
But Grantaire pushes him away in his hurt and frustration, and Enjolras looks so concerned and upset. He looks around at the other students to see whether they're all watching too before just staring at R with so much sadness. He tries again to comfort him, putting both of his hands on his shoulders and leading him away as Gavroche runs up to them and throws his arms around him.
AND THE LOOK ON ENJOLRAS' FACE. OH MY GOD. IT SAID SO MUCH.
He wanted so much to be the one to hug Grantaire, you could tell. He was trying so hard not to cry, and it was gut-wrenching. He looked so sad, and so broken, and let out such an exasperated breath (he looked like he was going to have a panic attack, I'm not exaggerating) before forcing a smile onto his face for the other students.
The death scene is staged a little differently in the Arena Spectacular, but Grantaire still holds Gavroche and he still looks around for Enjolras and Enjolras gives him a small nod before they're both killed (do you permit it? vibes).
During Empty Chairs at Empty Tables, Enjolras, Grantaire and Gavroche stand together at the top of the stage like the little family that they are, and are together at the end for the finale too.
In conclusion, I love them, your honour. James D. Gish and Connor Jones will go down in history for their ExR. I hope we get an official recording with this cast, or I hope they do a stint in London in the future.
They ARE Enjoltaire.
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essektheylyss · 1 year ago
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it's not the mental illness that compels me to listen to several months worth of music every year dammit it's solely about getting an adequate sample size. fucking obviously. how could I trust my spotify wrapped if I didn't have clean statistical data
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autumnrory · 4 months ago
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i rmr when all the initial meta around endgame was coming out people were talking about steve being depressed and whatnot and it's like well yeah but he's BEEN depressed, like he woke up alone in this century and he kept going, now i can understand it being worse this time after finding a family and getting bucky back and losing them all except of course that's not why endgame steve was on about so like......the people writing meta were trying to connect these things that of course weren't really there on screen because that simply wasn't our steve
but i think it really could've been SO interesting to see this is the thing that finally makes steve stay down like he's lost so much and he just CAN'T keep fighting like i get some people think that's what they were going for but considering the ending......it's really not. and so i'm just thinking about a version after iw, maybe he gets some of the thor treatment except not turning his depression into a dumb fatphobic joke lol and maybe nat and others are trying to get through to him and it just doesn't work and then we get some flashbacks (which you could have done for all the original avengers actually which would be particularly important for bruce and nat and clint who did not have their own trilogies) including his mom telling him "you always stand up" and THAT being the thing to finally get him moving like it would've been such a perfect way to finally show sarah rogers some respect and ACTUALLY show steve really struggling instead of whatever they tried to do with him in that movie
#steve rogers#mcu#anti endgame#why am i still rewriting this movie five years later#really though i think i rmr just trying to work through it all#and a lot of the meta i was reblogging initially still wasn't really accurate to endgame or the rest of the mcu#like they were still making steggy more important than it canonically was while trying to explain why it was a bad ending#and it's kind of like you can say steve would respect that peggy had a life and wouldn't interfere with it but that's about it like#going on about how he DID love her so much and just wouldn't be selfish enough to do those things#or that she was soooo important to his moral compass (hence why so many fic writers had her telling him to go back to bucky lol insanity)#are just not accurate lmao i do think much as she may be rightfully disliked#while canonically he did not LOVE her he did respect her even if we think that's annoying bc she's an asshole to him in catfa#but yeah no he had a moral compass before her i understand what people were going for with the compass being symbolic but like....#any time she said anything did he listen? except for maybe when she told him he was meant for more? it really doesn't seem like it#nor did he need it! jesus! the whole point of catfa is he was chosen for a REASON he was already a good man#he did not need peggy 'sure i'll let nazis into shield' carter to teach him shit#but yeah it was bc i followed one stucky blog at the time who was reblogging a lot of good shit but a lot of that nonsensical shit too#and i was just reblogging it all bc everything sounded better than endgame#and i really did start seeing more of the discussions around peggy where her culpability in catws hadn't even occurred to me#bc i was so in fic from the beginning of joining fandom that not only was their relationship made as impt as stucky#it was also made out like what happened to shield was hurting her legacy and it's like...but she had to have at least SOME responsibility#and yeah eventually it's like okay no it's not just that steve wouldn't Do That it's also that they would've been a terrible couple#and not only would he not be so selfish but he wouldn't give up everything for HER lmao but he would've for bucky as was shown over and ove
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queen0fm0nsterz · 11 months ago
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Reading my fave thin man and lady fic. Kicking my feet a lot because tbh. Sometimes a sad man really is just a weird woman's science project in a way that is so homoerotic
#carols.txt#when i tell you i've been re-reading this single one shot religiously every single month for almost three years I mean it#《straight》 ship so good we call it queerbaiting#LMAOOOOOO#call it yaoyuri the way these old people r tragic and doomed by the narrative or whatever#listen as a bi person on the aroace spectrum whatever this fic was trying to convey really strikes a cord#while its not the same as my own this characterization of them is so intriguing. im so hooked on it#^^ one thing i think this person really nailed was thin man's immaturity (stemming from his emotions oftentime being too big to control) ->#and the desire of attention that comes with said immaturity while also having the lady be both cold (normal) and intrigued in a way that ->#that really fits her character. curiosity is one of the many facets that make up her character that don't get explored much and i think its#done so well here for like no reason💀 THIS AUTHOR COOKED TOO HARD YOU GUYS#like ofc she wouldnt send him away. shes studying him under a microscope. even though hes annoying as hell#thin man is plagued by sassy man syndrome in this which is really fucking funny cus it lasts a total of 3 seconds before she finds him out#PLUS THE TALK ABOUT THE TOWER AND THE WORLD... AUGHHH#i need this author to give me their brain NOW#AUGHHHHHAAGGGHEEHH#everyone needs to start doing thinlady the way this person was doing it#this is the biblically accurate old people (in case my theory abt baby lady having been in the pale city is wrong)#live laugh love. its my birthday. spoiling myself a bit. goddamn.
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sweetreveriee · 1 month ago
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I didn’t get to post before school this morning but here’s my wrapped stats
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kindacreepy-kindaugly · 2 years ago
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No offense but it feels like absolute torture living as an extrovert who processes things by talking and has a base need for social interaction when you have no outlet/source for that
#i don't even mean talking about the heavy difficult shit even if i guess i do that too much too#but i just...need...connection#real conversations about whatever that last for more than a couple of sentences#if we're getting really crazy here then maybe even sometimes to talk about things i'm interested in and to be listened to#i can't talk about this without people getting defensive but it's like. i'm not angry. i know the common denominator there is me#and well most of us in this system#i'm not angry i'm sad#there's something wrong with us but idk what it is. our needs? the way we talk? what we talk about? the timing?#been trying n trying but can't find the problem#is it the need itself?#do most people live their lives happy with just snippets of interaction n never knowing if what they say will get a response or go ingored?#cause i'm starting to think it's that. we need more than people are supposed to need. which is pretty fucking bad cause it doesn't feel like#somethin we can change. it's very very inherent to us#i could probably do it if i was left to just withdraw but i'm still expected to be available to react for others so#it's like i only get this halfway option that doesn't let me cut off the need but also leaves it totally unfulfilled#n it's fucking killing me 🙂 like i legitimately cannot do this for much longer#extra fun cause our perception of reality is fucked to begin with n then we got lowkey gaslit by a bunch of pretend friends for years#so we genuinely have no idea if our perception of things is even remotely accurate. like maybe i'm just imagining things#maybe we really need to start doing fucking tally marks or some shit so we'd at least know#if we're just hurt by something we're not supposed to be hurt by or if we're also imagining it on top of that#fuck this fucking brain it's like someone just stuffed the most incompatible traits you can have into one person n called it a day#like here have a bunch of needs oh and also these things that means you can't get it met#oh and ALSO some other things that means you're incapable of genuine relationships with almost all people#cause it's apparently not hard enough if you don't also have a very limited circle of people n are incapable of connecting with the rest#spdrvent
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carriesthewind · 4 months ago
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I reread the IA's contemporaneous post justifying their "National Emergency Library", and one of the things that struck me is just how selfish it was.
(It was also full of falsehoods, ranging from exaggeration to outright lies, but that's another matter.)
While 2020 feels like it was several decades in the past, it was actually only a few years ago. And I remember March of 2020! I was there! And oh my god, is this post right in line with every other selfish, demanding asshole determined to make a global pandemic all about themselves!
First of all, there is the language of the post - it is a "tremendous and historic outage" that books are unavailable to patrons because libraries are closed for the pandemic. "Right now, today, there are 650 million books that tax-paying citizens have paid to access that are sitting on shelves in closed libraries, inaccessible to them."
Missing from this outrage is a recognition that, like. Librarians are people. They get sick, and die.
They did get sick, and died.
Libraries were closed not only to protect patrons and the public, but librarians too. Libraries were closed to protect people, human beings. Because generally speaking, even the most enthusiastic supporters of access to books and knowledge, prioritize lives over books.
The AI's post, however, reeks of an entitlement to things that *my* tax dollars paid for. Libraries and library collections aren't a public good. They're something *I* should be able to access anytime I want, damn the context or the consequences.
(Was it also a historic outrage when I had to wait several months to check out Nona the Ninth, because so many other people were checking it out?)
Second, as I said, I remember early 2020. And in spring and summer of 2020, there was more free content on the internet than before or since. So many people and so many institutions were bending over backwards to provide people with books and tv shows and music and podcasts and virtual tours and collections and just about anything that someone could figure out how to digitize. So many people were giving away books for free, or writing/recording new content to give away for free. I can't even remember how many times I heard or read someone telling their readers or listeners just to pay what they could, if they could. So many people and institutions were giving away so much, do so much, to provide access to knowledge and books and entertainment and information.
And in that moment, the IA decided to steal from people. When so many people, so many authors, were acting so selflessly, they decided that it wasn't good enough. And instead of giving away themselves, they decided to steal from authors and pat themselves on the back for "meet[ing] this unprecedented need," when they didn't even actually do anything themselves. Or maybe more accurately, the only thing they did was something irrelevant to the actual needs of the community, something they wanted to do anyway, something to try to use a pandemic as an excuse to advance their agenda.
Because third, there is zero concern for the population of patrons actually most impacted by the closure. The IA cares, to a fault, only about information being digitized.* But many people who use physical libraries, many of the people most impacted by their closure, are people who do not have access to the AI's so-called "open library." And people who could access digital books generally continued to have access to their library's e-book services, and to tons of other free content. The patrons who were actually in the most need are ignored as irrelevant.
*And I want to be clear - they care that information is digitized, not about digital access. "Access" means more than information being digitized and theoretically being able to be read.
It's so clear that IA didn't really care about the patrons of physical libraries. Instead, they saw a real problem, and instead of working toward any solutions, decided to use it as a prop to push their own agenda. (Again, while people were dying.)
It's just all so deeply selfish.
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computerpeople · 2 years ago
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my life can be sectioned off into like fandom periods and i tend to be able to remember things more chronilogically because of that. no internet ballerina/webkinz only, deviantart user/furry fandom, mlp, homestuck, until dawn, danganronpa, overwatch, homestuck, and now i've cycled back into until dawn
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justaaveragereader · 2 months ago
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Slashtober🔪||Split!Seonghwa
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Pairing:Seonghwa x Reader
Word Count: 5.8k
Warnings: THIS DOES NOT ACCURATELY REPRESENT DIDs, IT IS JUST A FIC, DARK THEME, Pussy Slapping, Squirting, Unprotected Sex, Rough Sex, Mommy!Hwa, Sub!Reader, Breeding Kink, Dirty Talk, Breast Play, Lactation Kink, Hwa Got Multiple Personalities (other personas are the members), Mentions Of Killing, Spit, Choking, Humiliation, Jongho Watches, It’s A LOT going on in this fic🫣…So If I Missed Anything…Lemme Know👀👀
A/N: It’s the last Slashtober fic of this year😱!!! I can’t believe it’s over already!! I swear I always have so much fun with this series, I feel like this year was so different from last year, more spooky, scary lol. Thank you all for the supportive, rather it was a like, a comment, a repost and etc…I love and appreciate yall🥹🖤! Til next year, we may or may not see Slashtober in 2025🫡!
Slashtober 24’ Masterlist
NSFW UNDER CUT MDNI!!!!
All Ageless, Blank, and Bot Looking Blogs Will Be Blocked.
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“He will only listen to you.” Jongho said, letting out a loud sigh on the phone. Placing his pen down, he flickers through Seonghwas medical chart. The vein in his forehead protruding was throbbing uncontrollably. The amount of tests that had been done on Seonghwa were some of the best. Letting out a frustrated sigh you let your head thump against your work desk.
“What do you want me to do about that?” You grit into the phone clutching it tightly.
“Talk with your lawyer, come talk to him, I don’t know what to do I’m running out of options Y/N.”
“You are the doctor Jongho, what do you mean you are running options?!” You whisper yell into the phone.
“Talk to your lawyer.” He says before cutting the line, clearly annoyed you lock your phone, squeezing it in your hand. Clearly annoyed you quietly slam your phone down onto your desk. Trying your best not to alert anyone. You give your phone one last harsh squeeze before standing up and making your way towards the bathroom to make a call to the defense lawyer.
~
“Thank you for coming.” Jongho says while letting out a sigh. Tightening his lips up, he lets security wand your body, after stepping out from the metal detectors.
“Really?” You say, clearly annoyed. You spread your legs and arms into a starfish so that security can do their job thoroughly. Your eyes cut to Jongho, staring at him harshly you are practically seething with anger. Feeling the intense atmosphere, Mingi decides to break the tension.
“I heard he doesn’t have any new personality developments.” He says with a smile on his face, as he’s done wanding your body. Standing up straight he has a big smile on his face, before he looks over to Jongho who is staring at you with irritation. Nodding your head you shoot Mingi a smile..
“Thank you Mingi, at least someone has given me good news.” With a genuine smile you pat his shoulder before stepping back and waving your hand forward signaling Jongho to lead the way. Rolling his eyes you both walk down the hallway, without saying a word. Irritation liters the bright, white halls.
“I love him.” You state outloud in the eerily quiet hallway, eyes shooting daggers into the back of Jonghos head.
“He is a murderer.” He states, your lips automatically zipping shut. Your hands ball into your pants. You couldn’t help what Seonghwa was, he was like that long before you came along, not all of his personalities were horrible. Majority of them were quite interesting, as a collective you had learned to love them all.
“Murdered 18 people in one single night, and you say you love him.”
Biting your lip you try to refrain from any smart remarks but your mouth moves before your brain can comprehend anything.
“Deep down, he’s still my Seonghwa and no personality is going to change that.” You say, standing firm on what you said. Were you heartbroken to say the least? Of course. You were disappointed, disgusted, down right devastated. Yet that sliver of hope you held onto was enough to still make you have faith.
“Thank you Mingi, at least someone, my ass.” Jongho mockingly whispers to himself, opening the door, as you walk in he holds his hand out stopping you.
“Remain right here.” He says, starting up a big light, you hear it power on, lights dimming with how much energy it’s pulling, pivoting around the light trying to get a good eye at Seonghwa.
He’s sitting there with one leg crossed over the other, tea cup in hand while his sharp eyes stare at you.
“My, my, my, we have company.” He says while bringing his tea cup up to his lips slowly. Feline eyes flickering to your stagnant figure. Your body immediately begins to heat up. You knew you’d walk into one of his personalities but not one of your most favorite ones.
“Dr. Jongho, it’s always a pleasure to see you.” Setting down his tea cup on the small sauce plate next to his bed. He shifts his body, facing towards you.
“Doll, it’s been too long as well. I’ve missed you.” With a smile on his face, he looks up at you through his eyelashes before batting them.
“H-Hi.” You say with a small wave, your body immediately heats up. Your fingers pick at the skin around your thumbs, body already riddled with nerves.
“I’m going to observe you both.” Jongho states, loudly enough for you both to hear. Seonghwas eyes never lift off of you, his back is straight, shoulders are curved, lips in a small smile, his teeth just poking through. The energy that radiated off of him was alluring.
“What is it you are hoping to see Dr. Jongho?” Seonghwa asks, picking up his teacup again, legs coming undone from being crossed. He’s speaking to Jongho yet his eyes never let up on you. They remain on you, flickering all over your figure, studying you as if this observation is a test that he is willing to pass. Jongho flushed a light shade of pink, clearing his throat. He flicks through the papers before he can speak to Seonghwa; he's cut off by the man himself. Letting out a small gasp Seonghwa places his tea cup down, hand brushing through his hair before he flicks his eyes to Jongho for a split second.
“What do you wanna observe Jongho? You say quietly, feeling minuscule under Seonghwas intense stare. It was not threatening, not fear worthy. If anything it made you squirm, riddled your body with nerves. When he had this personality on the rise you tried your best to be as pristine, and elegant as possible. Nothing but the best for your mommy. Clicking his pen, he scribbles down on the stack of papers once more. Trying his best to avoid the question.
“He wants to see us fuck.” A harsh voice comes out of Seonghwa, slamming the rest of the tea back he lets out a loud groan afterwards. Frame going from cute and petite, to manly and gruff. His frame looks larger, shoulders more broad, yet a puppy-like smile on his face while he fills the room with nothing but dirty words.
“Want me to bend her pretty ass over? Or you wanna see her from the front?” He asks in a husky tone, eyes flashing over to you, watching your timid frame gawk at him. No matter how long you had been with Seonghwa you never got used to how quick another personality could appear. As you hear a small click you, look up at the ceiling watching the lights dim as the large flashing white light fills the room practically blinding all of you.
As the blinding light clears you look at Seonghwa through blurred vision. Small tiny dots fill your eye sight, blinking them away. There is Seonghwa with one leg crossed over the other with feline eyes once more.
“Fuck!” You groan out, rubbing your eyes, your body reacts fast, thumping Jongho in the back of the head. Eyes watering from the flash, you grit your teeth ready to tear him a new one when Seonghwa speaks up.
“Excuse me. When did we learn to have such filthy mouths?” He asks, eyebrow raising as he watches all the anger leave your body, eyes growing wide like a deer caught in the headlights. You wring your hands through the bottom of your shirt, that nervous feeling making a grand appearance once more.
“So-sorry.” You whisper out, body flushed with embarrassment that you had been caught in such an act. Wincing slightly Jongho places a strong hand on your shoulder before shoving you forward, you practically tumble into Seonghwas lap. His quick reflexes catch you, delicate hands placed on your hips to stabilize you. As his warm hands come in contact with you, you let out a small whimper. It had been so long since you had felt Seonghwa let alone his mommy personality, a soft hand brushes against your cheek, lifting your head slightly as you look at his sleek eyes. That familiar love and adoration twinkles just below his dark brown eyes, you swear you can see the light behind them.
“Hi mommy..” you whisper out hand coming to clutch the side of your pants. Noticing immediately he grips your balled fist, unraveling it, as he brushes over your palm. You practically fell like putty into his hands.
“What did I tell you about doing that?” He says, voice as smooth as silk. As your brain loses all of the common sense it typically holds you grow sheepish. Body flushing with an indescribable heat. As you pull at the collar of your shirt to get an air flow, it dawns on you that Seonghwa is seated in just a pair of white boxers.
“Come here.” He purrs, turning you around, planting your ass directly on his lap. His warm hands come up under your shirt, pulling the fabric off slowly, as your bra comes into sight, you get a bit self conscious as it had been over 5 months since you had last seen Seonghwa. As your arms hug you tightly, he grabs them lightly, pushing them down.
“Don’t hide yourself from me, doll. Let mommy see you.” He whispers into your ear, as your arms drop he keeps one hand rubbing your arm as his other hand goes to fiddle with the button of your pants. As he strips you out of every piece of clothing you own, you’ve never felt more self conscious yet confident at the same time. His back is firmly against the headboard, with you in between his legs, legs propped onto the bed, feet planted firmly into the soft mattress below you. Your cunt glistens under the bright white led lights that fill the small space. As your eyes flicker down to your cunt, you grow a bit flustered, you try to shut your legs as quickly as possible, growing a bit flustered under Seonghwas gaze. It’s almost as if you’ve forgotten that Jongho was right in the room with you both.
“Let me see..” he purrs out, hand coming to open your wedged legs..
“Be a good doll, and listen to mommy.” He groans into your ear. As your body warms across the front of Seonghwas chest you look at the mirror that’s boring holes into every action you and Seonghwa do.
“Is the mirror necessary?” You whine out, flustered at seeing your own dirty actions. Clearing his throat, it dawns on you that Jongho is still here and that he will remain here the whole time. Cunt fluttering, Seonghwa sees through the mirror that your pussy clenches around nothing. A small smirk on his face continues to grow as he watches your shiny slick cover your lower half.
“Be a good doll for me, and for Dr. Jongho.” He whispers into your ear. Nodding your head slightly you open your legs once more. You watch as Seonghwas eyes glimmer with need.
Laying you down slowly, Seonghwas large thin frame towers over your own. His dark hair frames his face, plump lips bitten between his perfect teeth. You are in love with every inch of this man, he could make you feel so loved one second, and the next? Nothing but a dirty whore. The balance between all the personalities was nothing short of a rollercoaster ride. The adrenaline that pumped through your veins while loving him was addicting. You had grown accustomed to this lifestyle, you were nothing but devoted to the Park Seonghwa.
“Mommy is going to fill you all the way up to here.” He says seductively as he brushes his hands over your lower belly. Poking it slightly before he caresses your lower stomach. The fleshy area his eyes are dead set on always made you a bit insecure. As he kneads your stomach you let out a quiet moan, hands coming to brush him away. When his other hand stops your motions.
“Did mommy tell you to touch her?” He questions, eyebrow raising as he drifts his eyes to look up at you. His sharp gaze makes you squirm, shaking your head no you, moving your eyes to look at his forehead. When Seonghwa got like this, it always made your head spin, you could barely hold eye contact with him as it was so intense you felt your skin prickle with nerves. Stomach doing flips while he grabs your chin lightly before telling you to look at him. Eyes low, and sultry, he glances over your body, thumb rubbing your cheek before he shifts his weight. Brushing two fingers through your wet folds, making a squelching noise before he brings his fingers up to his mouth, sucking your arousal off of them.
“So wet, so good.” He groans at the taste of you on his tongue. Bringing his face close to yours, he brushes his fingers through your folds again, placing one finger in your mouth, and the other in his.
“Go on, taste yourself.” He whispers before sucking your arousal off his shiny finger. Placing your tongue out you take his whole finger in your mouth. Sitting up, he pulls you up before sitting behind you, shuffling his body against the headboard, grabbing your shoulder and pulling you back down. Your back is firmly against his own, his warm embrace was worth a million words. Pussy on display for the room he stares ahead at the cracked mirror at the end of the bed. His dark gaze falling upon your cunt. Swiping two fingers through your folds, before he spreads your lips.
“Look at her…just glistening. Isn’t she pretty?” He purrs into your ear, feeling your body heat up.
“Mommy is going to put a baby right in there.” He says touching your stomach once more, eyes enamored and twinkling with the thought of you being heavy bellied.
With your legs spread you look into the mirror, body heating with embarrassment you try to close your legs. With a firm hand on your thigh he holds your legs open. Wet fingers digging into your leg, you whimper at his touch. His other hand comes down to grip your breast, pinching your nipple. Back arching off of him you moan his name quietly.
“Did I tell you to shut your legs?” He asks in a sultry tone, hands firm on the meat of your thighs. Slapping your soft flesh you open your legs again, his hand comes down, slapping your cunt. As his palm rises back, your sticky arousal sticks to it. Strings of clear stickiness stretch with each pull back of his hand. Continuously slapping your cunt, your legs jerk with each strike, letting out a loud mewl your body hunches over.
“Ple–please Mommy, please, please..” you beg out. Not even sure what you are asking for. As your juices drench his palm, he pulls his hand back once more, slapping your pussy a bit harder this time. With a final cry your body arches off of his warm chest, juices spraying out of your cunt. Legs shaking as your feet are trying their best to remain planted on the soft mattress. His sticky palm comes down to your pussy, rubbing small circles onto your clit, hushing you as you continue to unravel before his eyes. As you come down from your high, he eases off of your clit. Licking his palm he rolls his tongue behind his teeth, savoring the flavor. With heavy pants you lean further back into his chest. Body wet with your own slick, and cum.
“Fuck, you think you can do that again?” A deep voice rings out behind you, looking in the mirror you watch as his gaze changes, eyes flushing dark, losing that loving streak that his mother personality had, eyes lazily looking at him you barely can put together a coherent sentence.
“Fuck that, you will do it again.” Plunging two fingers deep into your cunt, he wiggles them around looking for your spongy spot. Thumb pressed hard against your clit, you let out a loud moan, legs turning into jelly and falling on the bed. As his thumb strums quickly over your swollen clit, your legs turn every way, body going through the first stages of over stimulation. A twisted grin cracks onto his face, one of his arms wraps around your waist, holding you in place.
“God, she’s so fucking sloppy.” he groans, before pulling two fingers out, slapping your cunt before diving his fingers back in. As they slam in and out of you at a quick pace you moan out Seonghwas name, nails digging into the blanket on top of the mattress. His eyes shoot over to Jongho who is standing there, teetering between the lines of being unfazed, and desperately turned on.
“Wish this was you huh doc?! I’m going to fill this pretty cunt up, having you carrying my seed around.” He says loudly, laughing booming off of the concrete walls. Your body moves whichever way he pulls you, effortlessly moving like you are a doll.
“Look at her pretty pussy, just gushing.” Pulling out he slaps your cunt once more. You let out a loud moan, head turning, trying to catch a glimpse of Seonghwa.
“Your pussy is talking to me, and does she have a lot to say.” His hand wraps tighter around your waist, his crazed eyes bore into you.
You whimper out his name, in a twisted way, this is exactly what you wanted. You missed this, you missed Seonghwa. But you missed all the personalities he had charging through him. Everyday was like cranking up a Jack in the box, you know something was going to pop out, the thrill of not knowing what exactly always made your body on edge, it made your adrenaline run rampant. This is exactly what you wanted.
“Have some decorum, trying to talk over her.” Bringing a hand down he slaps your pussy. Body quivering with a loud moan. You call out to Seonghwa once more.
“Fuck!” He groans out, bringing two fingers to collect the slick that’s dripping down your ass.
“Yunho?” Jongho questions while flipping through the papers on his clipboard making a note, the pen screeches with each drag. You catch a small glimpse of Jongho, clutching the pen tightly in his grasp, while a head of sweat drops down his forehead. A harsh slap to your dripping pussy pulls you from your thoughts.
“I really would prefer if she called me Yunho.” He purrs out, hands running down your inner thighs before slapping your cunt again. Quickly riding himself of his boxers, he positions himself in between your legs, roughly grabbing his cock he lets out a small hiss.
“Fuck have I missed you.” He groans out before catching your lips in a kiss
“She’s so fucking sloppy.” He groans out, pausing his wild thrust to spit at your pussy. The cool saliva hitting your clit. He watches as it drips down to his cock that is stilled inside of you.
His hips draw back before slamming into you with a loud smacking noise. His hips are flush against your inner thighs. His hand comes down to hold you in place by your throat. He’s fucking you like a mad man. Your mouth falls open into a non existent moan, as he’s fucking all the common sense out of your brain.
“Shiiit, that’s it. Shut your pretty mouth and take this dick.” He grits out, hand gripping tighter around your throat. With a choked out sob you nod your head pathetically, letting him have full control over you. Gripping the back of one of your thighs with his other still tight around your throat he bends one of your legs to your chest. Hitting you deeper, the new position has your hands coming up and clutching the one around your throat. Grip tight, as his eyes flood with dark lust, both of his pupils are blown wide. You’ve never seen this sight of Seonghwa, and you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t addicting.
“Going to give you all my babies, Fuck!” He roars out once more. Gathering all his saliva he spits on your cunt, hips never letting up on pounding you into the mattress. Pressing his body onto your front pushing you further into the mattress. His hand reaches down and wraps around your throat, picking your head up off of the bed. With drool running down your mouth, sweat covering your forehead. You look like you just ran a marathon. Voice cracking with each powerful thrust he gives you, your hands help hold your body up, elbows shaking at the intense speed he’s striking you with. Giving you a sloppy kiss, teeth clashing against yours you let out a squeak. Dropping his full weight on you, you groan out his name. Parting your lips with his own, sticking his tongue down your mouth he opens his eyes, making direct contact with Jongho who is gripping the clipboard tightly still.
“You like watching me fuck her?” He asks, voice laced with venom. Hips snapping against the meat of your ass, each thrust hikes your body up the bed. Mattress creaking with each movement he does. Pausing his thrust, he pulls your body off of the bed, locking his arms behind you, so that you sit up right. His sweaty, wet chest against your back. Your naked body once again on display for Jongho. Kissing the side of your neck, he nips at the skin, marking it with his bites. Dark hickies dance along your neck, not stopping til he’s satisfied with his work. Giving you one powerful thrust almost doubling over from the strength of it. His hips begin to piston in and out of you once more, arms locked tightly behind you back. Looking over your shoulder he watches as your breast bounces with each thrust.
“Look at that doc..” he grits out, head cocking back slightly at the feeling of your warm, sopping wet walls wrapped around his throbbing cock.
“See how well she takes me.” He says through a laugh, your body grows hotter knowing Jonghos eyes are directly on you both. As Seonghwa feels your cunt clench around his member. Hitting you with one deep thrust, he pulls you back more, making sure to arch your back even further.
“I think we have a exhibitionist on our hands Doc.” Seonghwa sings out, before slamming you down on his cock. Making sure to match the strokes to the way he makes you bounce on top of him.
“She’s so fucking wet.” He groans out, watching as your cum, mixed with own , runs down your leg. Thighs are still sticky with your arousal, the cum mixing makes loud squelching noises each time he thrusts inside of you.
“You wanna taste her?” He asks eyes flickering an even darker shade as he rag dolls you up and firm his cock, you can’t help but let out a small whimper at the thought of Jongho kneeling before you both. Letting your body go you flop down onto the mattress. As you land softly, he slaps your ass hard.
“She’s a fucking slut.” He says slapping your ass once more, grabbing the meat of it and slamming you down. Wrapping a hand around the back of your neck..
“But she’s my slut.” His eyes lock with Jonghos as he’s got you hiking up and down his cock. A wicked smile breaks out onto his face, Jonghos had enough of this personality, flicking through the paperwork checks off the name Yunho..
“We’ll say goodbye Yunho.” Jongho says hitting the button on the light, a huge white flash fills the room. Seonghwa doubles over letting out a loud cry, pulling out of your spent pussy, a quiet pop is made as he pulls away, cunt instantly oozing with cum. The warm feeling runs between your legs. Letting out a satisfied sigh you cause your eyes, trying your best to mellow out your breathing.
“Look how messy you are.” Seonghwa says with a squeak to his voice, letting out a small groan you already know what personality has appeared.
“Yunho slutted you out.” he says, dragging two fingers between your folds, clit swollen and sore. Letting out a small hiss as he glides through your cunt.
“Woo please..” you say silently, trying to bat his hand away. Your eyes poke open, trying to take a peak at him. Sitting on his knees behind you he puts a hand under you, helping you roll over. As your breast comes into sight. He dives face first into your chest, mouth wrapping around your pebbled nipples. Moaning at the taste of you on his tongue, he grabs onto your other nipple, brushing a finger over it, you let out a whine. Bringing a hand up to brush the dark locks out of his face, as he continues to suckle on one of your nipples, you watch a devious smile grace his face.
“You taste so good.” He groans out, mouth full of your breast. Those mischievous eyes always have an underlying motive. As he continues to suckle on your breast, he pinches the other one a pathetic whimper leaves your throat.
“One day milk will come out of these.” He says giving your nipple a harsh pinch before attaching his mouth onto your sore one.
“It’ll be a fight between me and Yunho about who gets to try your milk first.” The thoughts of the warm liquid pouring into his mouth have his cock jumping.
“We are going to fill you to the brim, then you are going to take another load, and another.” He says with a smile, resting his forehead against your boob.
“You will be swollen with our child.” He says with glee, mouth detaching from your nipple, giving it a kiss before switching to the other. His dark eyes shift over to Jongho, a small squeaky laugh leaves Seonghwas throat.
“Wanna watch me put a baby in her doc?” He asks, voice laced with mockery. Jongho has had enough of each personality that has made its way through, they were not who he was looking for. You look up lazily as you watch him clutch the small remote, seeing his thumb flex you quickly try to shield Seonghwa, yelling at him to close his eyes.
“No, no, n-Fuck!” The flash of white light goes off again, your body falling lax once more. Letting out a quiet sigh you look down at Seonghwa, the way he fidgets with hands you immediately know who has taken over. A bright blush brushes over his face and neck. Trying his best to cover his chest up, he leans forward nose bumping yours, giving you a small kiss before snapping back against the bed.
“Yeosang it’s okay.” You breathe out, tone laced with tiredness.
“No, no, no!” Jongho groans out in frustration before clicking the button multiple times, a loud roar leaves his throat. You watch as his muscles contract, you’ve never seen this side of him before. Your eyes grow big with worry, cocking your head back as you watch as an evil grin paints Jonghos face.
“There it is! The thing of the hour!” He says satisfied.
Watching as his eyes cut, you see Seonghwas body grow bigger by the second, muscles rippling his thin frame. His eyes grow a shade of black you’ve never seen before. His pupils are blown wide, mouth open in a snarl. Your body freezes below him, a shaky hand goes out to touch his firm chest that’s rippling with a new muscle every second. As your warm fingertips go to touch the man nestled between your shivering thighs you call out his name softly.
“Seonghwa..” you whisper, eyes having a sliver of hope that he’s still in there somewhere.
“This is the beast.” Jongho states, noting down how many clicks and what it all took for him to get Seonghwa to this current persona. You can feel the deep growl resonating in Seonghwas firm chest.
“Hey…hey…I’m right here.” You whisper out, both hands coming in contact with his face. Worry fills your voice, you needed Seonghwa here and now with you. As you mutter Park Seonghwa over and over again, the Beast continues to stare at Jongho with anger flicking with each blink. His nails grow long, pinching your delicate skin, as he comes to grab your hands off of his face gently.
“Please don’t do this.” You whisper out, tears fill your eyes. Seonghwas eyebrow flickers, eye twitching with another personality trying to break through.
“Show her..” Jongho whispers out, Seonghwas ears twitch as if he was an animal at Jonghos quiet sentence. Eyed growing dark once more he lets out a growl, bed creaking as his body grows heavier with each passing second.
“Shut up!” Seonghwa booms out, this voice you have never heard before. As his large body tries to break from the grasp you have on his face.
“Seonghwa please, please, please.” You mutter out, tears streaming down your face. His ears twitch again, letting out a blood curdling roar he doubles over, panting heavily.
“Doll, please..” Seonghwa breathes out, his mommy persona rising through the darkness.
“Mingi take her out of here.” Jongho says into his walkie talkie, trying to claw your way off of the bed, to rush Jongho, he shoves you down to the ground. Ass hitting the floor with a thud, Seonghwas body snaps up, charging Jongho.
“No! Don’t hurt her.” He says through an animalistic tone, clicking the button, Jongho watches Seonghwas large figure hit the floor in pain. A loud cry comes from him, as you begin to get your breath again you make your way towards Seonghwa.
“Please don’t hurt her.” His mother persona breathes out, clutching his chest in pain.
“Stop it!” his Wooyoung persona cries out as Jongho hits the button once more. As Mingi slams the door open he’s frightened by what he sees. Your crying naked form trying to shield Seonghwa as Jongho stands large above the both of you. He was playing God. As Mingi scoops you up off of the floor, your hands try to grip anything it can to stay in the room. Tears fill Mingis eyes at the desperate attempt you make to stay in the room with your lovers. As he’s got you hoisted in the air you scream, and kick your legs.
“Put her in a room of her own.” Jongho says proudly before clicking the button again, the white flash flooding the room once more. Mingi opens his tight shut eyes, he nods carrying you out into the dead empty hallway. You thrash, attempting to scratch Mingis hands so he would let you go. Yet nothing works. You can barely look at his own sad face, Mingi knew how much you loved Seonghwa, everyone knew. It wasn’t a secret, you wanted the odd man in every way. You wanted any and everything that came with him. Being apart from him felt like half of you was missing.
“Let me go! Seon-Seonghwa!” You scream as Mingi grabs your naked body, hands slipping due to all the sweat and cum that’s cakes on your skin. Tears fill your lash line. You thrash in Mingis hold you continue to scream out for Seonghwa. Trying your best to rip out his hold, you begin to punch Mingis hands that are holding you tightly.
“Let me go!” You scream, thrashing even harder. The shame of being naked in his hold is the second to last thing on your mind. You watch from the small window that’s on Seonghwas heavy steel door. The flash of white continuously goes off. The loud cries from each personality fill your ears. Body tiring from the constant thrashing as you can hear your lovers in distress.
“I’m so sorry Y/N..” Mingi says through a whisper. Tears begin to streak down your face. Lip trembling as you let out a loud whail. Your hands come to your mouth to conceal the noise. Mingis grips never eases up as he has your feet dangling from the ground, a large arm firm around your waist.
“I hate you, I hate every single one of you in this place.” You whisper as the cries from Seonghwa go quiet.
“I hope he kills all of you.” You whisper void of any emotion. The white light stops flashing in the room and the hallway lights go out, leaving the bright red glow from the emergency exit signs to keep the dark hallway with some form of light. The sudden slam of the door to Seonghwas room startles you and Mingi. With a noticeable jump he lets go of you, your body hitting the floor, not even caring at the pain of the sting. Your body lays flat against the tiles, crunching into the fetal position. As Mingi looks down at you he fiddles with his utility belt, pulling the small flashlight from it, cutting it on he flashes it down the hallway not seeing anyone there with a loud whisper he calls out to Jongho. With no response, he looks between your crying figure on the floor, and the hall once more. Your small sniffles fill the area, adding to an eery environment.
“I hate you, I hate you..” you mutter quietly, as you hand holds your lower stomach. Seonghwa being ripped from you in more ways than one had you nauseated.
“I’m going to check on Dr. Jongho, stay right here.” Mingi whispers out, terror filling his voice. As he takes one step forward he hears a loud creak. Planting his feet still, he can feel a heavy breath on his neck. Biting his lip, tears fill his own eyes, the flashlight dropping as he’s suddenly pulled into the darkness. A loud cry roars from him before it falls silent again, not even bothering to look back, to heartbroken at Seonghwa being torn from you. Your body rocks back and forth on the floor. Still hunched in the fetal position, ass naked, with zero care in the world.
“There, there..” Seonghwa says, that soft feminine voice falls on your ears. Eyes immediately shooting at him. A large blanket covers your naked frame, his warm hand brushes your cheek. Your eyes fill with more tears, breaking out into a loud sob. Seonghwa lays down right next to you, caressing your body. As your body racks through continuous sobs you feel the muscles from the beast slowly go back into his body, his large muscular frame goes back into its original state.
“Mommas here..” he says, giving the back of your head a kiss, bringing you closer to his chest you cuddle him further.
“Mommas gotchu..”
“We got you..”
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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 11 days ago
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what are leona's flaws if he has any?
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Of course he has flaws, everyone—fictional and real—does. Leona’s are quite numerous and very blatantly out there in some cases, so this ask (which sort of implies he doesn’t have flaws at all) surprised me 😅 His are pretty hard to miss, no…? Of course, some of these flaws do improve over the course of the main story, but they are still largely present.
I’m not sure what prompted this question, but I hope it’s not because I somehow gave off the impression that I’m not cognizant of his flaws. I may occasionally sing the guy praises about being a good leader/big brother figure but I’d like to think that I also humble him just as much by bringing up his less savory personality traits (namely his laziness, underhandedness, and pride) and his shortcomings as a leader. I try to look at characters from all angles, regardless of how I personally feel about them overall.
That being said, there’s a slew of flaws to highlight, some of which I already mentioned earlier. Leona is:
Lazy, or, more accurately, unmotivated. If he’s not interested in it or feels he isn’t gaining something himself from acting, 9 times out of 10 Leona won’t lift a finger and/or will choose to nap instead. He frequently doesn’t even attend classes because he thinks there’s nothing they could teach him that the royal tutors haven’t. In many other cases, he ends up helping others because he’ll get something from it. For example, he may teach the first years how to properly mine magestones in his Camping Gear vignette, but only so they quiet down and he can have a quiet spot to nap.
Underhanded. He’s more focused on his desired results rather than the morality or ethics of what methods he uses to achieve those results. Lying, bending the rules, roughing up people who get in his way… Nothing’s off the table. All of book 2 basically illustrates this.
Seeking approval, often to his own detriment. This is usually framed as him wanting the crown, but it’s actually a consequence of Leona wanting to be acknowledged by others since he was without it for most of his life. These feelings lead to many self-destructive behaviors and sentiments, including the events of book 2.
Unable to take criticism. He tends to get mad and lashes out when people point out his flaws. Leona even OBs after Lilia says to his face that he has a rotten personality and could never hope to match Diasomnia’s king.
Selfish and spoiled. Let’s be honest, he just is 😭 He’s often ordering others around or expecting to be waited on and not thinking about how it could inconvenience them, yet he also acts really annoyed whenever others ask him to help out with something. Leona also rarely stops to listen to others’ sides of stories, he considers his own perspective to be the most important.
Competitive. His pride is easily wounded, especially if someone claims to be stronger than him in a particular area (even if it’s an area he doesn’t necessarily care about). For example, he argued with Vil about which of them would be the ideal suitor for the Ghost Bride and has a known grudge against Malleus, a fellow prince and skilled player in his own sport of choice.
Arrogant and prideful. This goes hand-in-hand with the other traits; Leona thinks highly of himself and his skills… perhaps too much so. Because of this, he has issues yielding his command to others or even considering opinions which differ from his own. This is why he doesn’t have a vice dorm leader; he’d rather rule unquestioningly. It’s his way or the highway!
Domineering. He doesn’t ask you to do things, he tells you to do things and you obey. This happens a lot between him and Ruggie, but also with other characters and even NPCs like the pixies in Fairy Gala (when he demands water to distract them from finding Yuu and co.).
Petty. This holds true for most of the NRC boys, but I think it’s particularly the case for Leona, who tries to beat up a magicless human for accidentally steps on his tail and then bullies that same human + some extras in a sportsball game 💀 He’s also infamous for his several harsh quips against Malleus and other characters that are just there minding their own business or existing.
Needlessly aggressive (in some cases). There’s no question that Leona would prefer to use his brains before his brawn. However, there are instances in which he resorts to magic or physical strength instead of scheming or talking out a solution. For example, the aforementioned attempt to attack Yuu (a defenseless, magicless human) for an accident. Dialogue in Malleus’s dorm uniform vignettes also implies Leona intended to put his hands on Malleus after a perceived slight. In his own dorm uniform vignettes, Leona is about to unleash his UM on second year students who are stepping out of line (Jack has to intervene and beg him to stop).
Defeatist. This stands in contrast to his usual arrogance, but I’m a strong believer in the “Leona uses his arrogance to mask for his own insecurities about being second best/place his entire life” thing. If he thinks there’s no point in trying, that he won’t be acknowledged no matter how hard he tries, he simply won’t. Instead, he’ll wallow in his sorrows and lament about things out of his control (such as birth order or life not being fair)—even though choosing to act or not is in his control. He also has a tendency to deny others’ love and respect for him, almost as if he believes it’s untrue or… he doesn’t believe himself to be worthy of those feelings.
Afraid of failure. For as cocksure as Leona presents himself to the world, he has a crippling fear of failing. That’s why he’s so quick to throw in the towel in book 2; if he deflects the blame to others or raises the white flag early, he can reason with himself that he didn’t really “lose”. There’s nothing more humiliating to try so hard only to not succeed in the end… just like he has his entire life. In the light novel, Leona also expresses that he’s afraid of having hope, because that makes it so much more soul crushing when that hope amounts to nothing. I believe it’s these feelings that also shaped his UM. Why is the identity defining magic he wields destructive? Maybe because Leona himself believes that this is his fate: the prince with naught, because everything he touches turns to sand.
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fanfics-i-find-here · 1 month ago
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Do I know you? Part 2
Jason Todd X Reader
Synopsis: Jason, not Red Hood, “checks” on you. Cue the shortest/ longest conversation you have had with the man.
Or in other words, is this flirting?
Notes: There is no planned plot for this if anyone can tell. Just running on vibes.
Part 1, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7
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Your presumption of a long night was regrettably accurate. The annoyance of it all makes you want to chuck your alarm against the wall. But alas, being an adult mattered more and you need money, so work it is. You pray for it to be a busy day so you can forget your embarrassment from the night before.
Clocking into work makes you confident in the fact that it will be busy. You slide into your routine as a waitress at Jackie’s Books and Coffee, greeting customers and delivering drinks and pastries to them. You chat with a few of the regulars as they come in, and you listen as they yap about their lives. As you make another round, you greet another regular.
His name was Jason and that’s all you really knew. He wasn’t like many of the other customers who liked to talk about anything and everything to you. He usually only got coffee and read a book. The one time he did actually talk to you was when you mentioned you had never read a Jane Austen book. It was like that was the only thing that mattered in the world. He ranted at you for 15 minutes about it and you didn’t have the heart to step away. He was cute when he was passionate.
He sat down at his usual table and pulled out a book. You went to work with his order, he always got the same thing. You sat the cup in front of him and asked, “What’s the book for the day?”
You try to glance at the cover but find the front cover blank, a fancy hardcover. Not finding the answer there you meet his gaze to wait for his response. You're startled for a moment by the familiarity of his features. Of course, his features were familiar to you, he was a regular but there was something different this time around. A scar on his lip and his cheek-
“Dracula” your thoughts are cut off by his voice, suddenly strangely familiar too, and you focus in on the conversation.
You smile, “I actually have read that one.”
You are half tempted to add, might be better than Jane Austen, but you decided you still want to work for the next half hour. You settle on, “Hollywood definitely got that one wrong, so much for the undead being sexy.” You joke.
His laugh comes out a little startled and you’re proud of the accomplishment. He usually looks so sullen in his corner booth, although that might just be because he’s so focused on his book.
“I don’t know, Hollywood might be onto something.” He says it like it’s an inside joke, but you feel like you missed the punchline.
“Maybe,” you say with a polite laugh, “Did you want anything else?” you ask.
He shakes his head. Not a huge shocker, he never wants anything but his drink and his book.
“Just let me know if you do.” You walk away slowly as you try to push down the weird familiar feeling you’re having all of a sudden. You check in with a few customers and, with a lull in commotion you settle into a chair next to the register. Bless Jackie for having one, your feet slowly starting to ache as the end of your shift draws near. Darla, one of the other waitresses comes to stand close to you. She leans in with a conspiratory look.
“So, you get his number?” she questions, her Gothamite accent heavy. Your head whips to look at her and you almost knock noses.
“What?” you try to keep your tone neutral, but your tone pitches up. Her lips twist into a grin and you’d think it evil if you didn’t already know her. Darla was nearly 50 years old, and she reminded you of a self-proclaimed “Fun Aunt” who liked to be in on all the gossip and had no sense of personal space. She had been goading you to date someone, anyone, just so she could be all up in your business. Because according to her, you were the most boring person she’d ever met.
“The hottie, did you get his number?” she asks again as she pulls out a compact mirror to brush some fly-aways from her face.
“First of all, I still don’t know who you’re talking about.” You do but that’s neither here nor there. “Second, you can’t just call customer’s Hotties, Darla, that weird.”
She scoffs and snaps her compact closed. “All right, Scarface over there. Did you get his number?”
You practically jump at her to cover her mouth. “Darla!”
She pushes your hand away with a grin. “Don’t worry Baby doll. It makes him look hot in a rugged way.”
“Darla, I swear-“you're cut off by a throat clearing. You turn to see a college student awkwardly waiting at the register. Your face flushes and you drop your hands from Darla and through on a customer service smile.
“Hi, sorry about that. How can I help you?” You manage to stay away from Darla for the rest of your shift, checking on customers probably more than necessary.  It's 5 o’clock when your shift finally ends. You brush by Darla to clock out and she follows you.
“You gonna answer my question or not?” Ever persistent for an older woman.
“No, Darla, I did not get Jason’s number” You pointedly use his name, so she won’t use Scarface or Hottie again.
“Oh, First name basis.” She teases.
You roll your eyes and pull off your apron to hang it up. You turn and look at her.
“Goodbye Darla,” you say sweetly with a too cheesy smile. It's her turn to roll her eyes as she goes back to work. You collect your purse and jacket and head for the front door of the shop. The early fall weather not having kicked in yet, you carry your jacket on your arm. Focused on pulling your purse over your head, you nearly run into a mass.
“Oh Sorry,” you say as you take a step back.
“No, you’re okay. I shouldn’t have bullied my way in front of you.” A deep voice speaks. You look up and meet blue-green eyes. Jason.
“I hardly think someone so passionate about Jane Austen could do any Bullying” You see Jason flush a little at the comment but don’t say anything. He holds the front door open for you. You thank him as you hurriedly shuffle through the open door. He follows you out onto the warm sidewalk. Assuming your conversation is done you head down the sidewalk with your arms crossed in front of you holding your jacket. As you walk you become very conscious of the man next to you. You glance at him curiously but don’t comment.
You take your time walking with him silently. You're not in a rush to get home, darkness still a few hours away. You should be worried. You’re not though. Jason has never struck you as a bad guy. Call it energy or vibe or what have you (ranting about Jane Austen). He just wasn’t bad. Intimidating? Yes, but not bad. As you walk you give some subtle side glances. He was very… Large. You didn’t know how else to describe him. Nearly a whole head taller than you and muscular. Yeah, he could definitely pick you up and carry you. You flush, not that that mattered. Your eyes get drawn back to his face. You know those scars; you swear up and down that it's not just because he’s a regular. They’ve never stuck out to you like this, and you can’t figure out why. In your (not so) subtle side-eye, you meet his gaze. He’s already smiling at you, but you don’t linger on it dropping your gaze to the concrete.
“Heading home?” He asks, tilting his head toward you.
You look up to meet his gaze, intense in the stare and unsure if he's just like that or dissecting you. This is the longest amount of time you’ve spent actually near him without tending to customers.
“Uh, yeah?” you ask yourself. Of course, you're going home; where else would you go? But why would you tell him that? You don’t think Jason would do anything bad to you; he is still, at most, an acquaintance, and you don’t really know him. (Not that it matters considering you let a literal stranger into your home the night before.) If he senses your hesitation and worry, he doesn’t comment on it.
“I wish I was.” He admits but quickly adds on, “Going to my home, not yours. That would be weird, I don’t really know you.” His voice drops quieter as he trails off. He rubs at the back of his neck, a light flush on his cheeks. The man in a flustered state must give you some courage.
“Yeah, that would be weird,” you tease, “Although maybe not a bad thing.” You quiet for a moment and think is this good flirting?
“If you're not going home, then where are you going?” You ask both curious about the answer and if it’ll explain why he's still walking with you.
His flush darkens and he mumbles for a moment and stuffs his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket. Leather Jacket…
“Family required dinner,” he says it like it’s the worst thing in the entire world, sitting next to nuclear weapons and climate change.
“That sounds fun” You try to keep a neutral tone because a family dinner does sound fun, to you, but he, apparently, thinks otherwise.
“Oh, loads of it,” he says with a scowl.
You decide a variety of things at that moment. First, he was unfairly attractive. Scowling should not look that good. Second, you want to stop him from scowling, a sadness sitting just behind his eyes. Thirdly, Darla was, unfortunately, correct. You should get this guy's number.
“at least tell me there's dessert.” You ask teasingly. Your inquiry is enough to chase away the scowl and you smile at the fact.
“Only the best homemade cookies in existence” he responds with a smile.
“At least there's something good.” You slow your walk as you come to the corner where your apartment building sits. You don’t want to give away that you live here, but you don’t want to start wandering around the streets of Gotham with him either. As it turns out, your overthinking is unnecessary.
“This is me.” He states as he walks to a parked motorcycle right in front of the building. You can't help but stare.
“Will you make it home safe all alone?” he asks like he already knows the answer. It takes you a moment to answer, distracted as he pulls a helmet out of the back seat of the bike, preparing to put it on. The leather made more sense now.
“Oh, yeah, yeah, it'll be no problem. I don’t live far.” You gesture further down the street, where you definitely did not live. He nods and smiles knowingly as he slips the helmet on.
“Okay see you later, sweetheart.” He says as he slings a leg over the bike, starting. You stare, again, at the denim of his jeans stretching over his legs nicely. He gives you a wave before taking off down the street, turning a corner. You stand and stare at the spot he had just been for much longer than you should have. You let a quiet “Bye” leave your lips despite him being long gone.
You finally turn around to your apartment building. How convenient that was. You pet one of the stray cats that sit on the steps as you climb them and enter the building, thinking Am I missing something?
Other Note: Thank you for all the love for the first part. It inspired me to keep going. I hope this makes some kind of sense.
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runaeveena · 4 months ago
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intense meta acting boot camp was actually the best decision they made for filming band of brothers because those actors truly Truly embodied the characters so much so that they physically look different from any other character they play like if i look at any picture of donnie wahlberg anytime in his career i am filled with apathy and disdain EXCEPT for when he is on screen as carwood lipton. you ask me whos my special man that i wish was my mom and i point at his potato ass head, you say "that's donnie wahlberg" and i say no that's band of brothers real life character carwood lipton and you say "bro that's donnie wahlberg he's in blue bloods" and i say no no no thats lip that's my mom and he's having speirs' baby and you say "what" and i point at real life character ron speirs and you say "is that matthew settle? from gossip girl?" but im not even listening anymore because i can't acknowledge these actors existing in anything outside of the 2001 masterpiece band of brothers and then you say "arent these real life people? dont you think youve crossed a line in how you interact with the fictional portrayal of these real people who felt vulnerable and embarrassed about the most traumatic part of their lives being made into a ten part television series?" and i say yeah that's all true, a character is bordered by an outline of historical fact that influences the way a writer or researcher who never met the man can perceive them and then mold personality traits to fit into something palatable for a story that can only try to achieve the truth because all media is art at its core. maybe the real men felt a mixture of relief and disappointment that their lives and stories were not accurately shared, and that's why there's about fifty books about them, but really the reason why there's so many people who are willing to read those books, who want to know more about these men's lives, is because the series showed us a snapshot of ordinary lives being celebrated, and those ordinary lives were crafted, honed, and acted so well because those actors did the most work they could to make each character feel alive and special. even if they weren't accurately portraying the real men, i continue, they are nonetheless influenced by them, literally taking their direction in how to behave and the final product of the show lives on as its own entity, separated from the real people, yet connected by a moment that happened eighty years ago. you nod a bit, "and that's why you're okay writing donnie wahlberg mpreg now?" and for the last fucking time its not donnie wahlberg anymore dale dye beat that name out of him for the entire duration of filming it's LIPTON
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jeanspookiebear · 24 days ago
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Mean!Childe Drabbles
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Author’s Notes:
i COMPLETELY forgot i even had a tumblr blog, so hi i’m back again after almost 2 whole years. If anybody follows me for my aot content, i’m so sorry i lost interest in aot BUT!! if you like genshin feel free to stick around 💙
ill update my profile later when i have time to actually be more accurate
WARNINGS!
smut, honestly i have no idea i’m just blabbering on about nonsense
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Mean!Childe who can’t help but want to immediately be engulfed in your presence when he comes home from another boring meeting and maybe, just maybe, relieve some of his frustrations into you. But when you deny him the attention he clearly deserves, he’s not very happy. At first he urges you again, nicely of course, he’s a patient man, at least that’s what he prides himself to be. But if you reject his advances again? Expect him to manhandle you over the coffee table in front of the couch you were resting on.
Mean!Childe who has a grip so tight in your hair, his chest completely laid flat against your back, as he whispers, no growls, in your ear.
“I do so much for you” he said with a soft chuckle, trying to convince himself you weren’t that stupid, were you? “and you can’t even repay me in the slightest fucking bit” His free hand unraveling his belt as he spoke, his breath brushing your ears as he chastised you.
Mean!Childe who shuts you up when you make even the smallest noise when he shoves himself into your warm cunt without any preparation, what have you done to deserve any sense of pleasure from this?
“Shut up, fuck—, stupid bitch” he breathed out, his hand still interlocked with your hair, keeping your cheek pressed against the cold surface of the wooden table, the cup of tea you were sipping on, forgotten as it spilt onto the floor.
Mean!Childe who ignores your tears as he coaxes out another orgasm from your greedy pussy. His hands now resting on your hips, which would surely leave a nasty bruise when he was done. “Was it so hard for you to just-“ he panted over you, his thrusts becoming sloppy “Obediently give me what I wanted?” He was close and he knew it, blabbering to himself, trying to justify how he felt “ah- shit, but no, you wanted to act like a fucking brat.” He groaned as his grip tightened “you probably like this? Don’t you.” He asked, his forehead resting on your back as he rutted into you.
Mean!Childe who leaves you soiled and fucked out as he cums inside of you. Of course only after he’s ruined you he feels guilty, but only because you probably won’t be able to take his dick for another week after this.
“clean yourself up” is all he says as he walks away from the scene, fixing up his belt and zipping up his pants. The front door opens and shuts, leaving you in his essence. You really should’ve just listened to him, you never learn, do you?
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@jeanspookiebear - ask to translate, repost with credit !
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pinkroseblooms · 11 months ago
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Boy Toy
Sugar baby!Toji Fushiguro x Sugar mama!f!Reader
Summary: You try to break things off with Toji; needless to say, he does not take it well. wc: 5.1 Warnings and tags: this story contains smut, dirty talk, cursing, rough sex, begging, emotional manipulation, toxic behavior/relationships, some soft!dom/bratty!sub elements, a clingyyandere!toji, possessive behavior, obsessive love, some angst, some fluff, all twisted af.
a/n: I see a lot of Sugar daddy!Toji content and wanted to switch things up a bit with some emotional feels. I also ended up listening to Rick Montgomery's "Boy Toy" on repeat and got ideas. Personally I headcanon that if Toji ever did somehow develop genuine love for another person it wouldn't necessarily help him chill out this time around, he'd just become more unhinged.
His things are in a pile, close to the solid red oak door; they’ve been packed away in brand new luggage carriers and on top is the duffle bag Toji had initially used to carry his stuff in for overnight stays.
If it were anyone else, Toji would have expected the various articles of clothing and personal items that had steadily accumulated inside your spacious home to be thrown out carelessly like trash on your equally spacious lawn. That or burning in the firepit. 
If it was anyone else but you, it’s what Toji would have expected, but you weren’t petty that way; even now as you stand before him, arms crossed, gaze almost blank, you radiate a certain measure of dignity. It’s one of those things Toji’s come to admire about you over the past year. It’s effortless, that magnetizing charm you exude; he liked it right away.
“You can keep the bags, sell them if you want.” Your lips form a small but rueful smile. “I sent you a check; call it a severance fee.”
“I thought I didn’t work for you anymore.”
Toji hasn’t considered you a client in months, though really, a mark was more accurate. You were disgustingly wealthy with a cute face and that was all he needed to pounce on the offer to be your bodyguard and occasional companion to the odd social events. Even cleaned up and polished, Toji was able to keep others away in droves, exactly what you were aiming for; you found social obligations tedious and his handsome yet intimidating presence kept everyone around you from lingering too long and insisting on taking up too much of your time and attention. Toji spent the first three or so months in your company essentially as an employee and he was satisfied with the arrangement. It would have been so easy and simple, it should have been, had you not burrowed your way into his head, like a bullet piercing bone. 
Dammit he never should have fucked you. Toji had every intention of keeping things professional. He should have kept his distance, he certainly shouldn’t have let his fingers trace your skin after zipping up your dress, and damn you by the way for looking over your shoulder at him with those pretty doe eyes and not telling him off when the second you caught Toji leaning in, almost like he wasn’t realizing he was doing it, to get a whiff of your scent mixed with the perfume he had said was his favorite. 
“You don’t have to keep the charade up anymore; it’s insulting at this point. I won’t force you to stay here.”
“You’re dumping me.”
“No. That would mean we were actually dating. Toji…Fushiguro-san, I made a mistake.” You’re almost talking to yourself as you look over Toji’s tensed shoulders to the entrance of your home. “I was fooling myself, thinking you could open your heart to me. But, I knew what I signed up for. So, no, I won’t leave you without any job security until you find your next meal ticket.”
“You’re not-”
“I heard you. Please, it’s not like you to back track on your words, so don’t start on my account.”
Toji was bragging over the phone, giving a verbal middle finger to an asshole of a former employer who demanded Toji’s services for a hit. You overheard him refer to you as a “piggy bank” with a pretty face, among other things. Shortly after ending the call, Toji left to work out (he couldn’t get too lazy, got to keep in shape to protect his favorite girl) and grab some food (on your card) only to return to this. You didn't even give Toji a chance to greet you with the usual flurry of kisses and a bear hug before telling him point blank he was leaving and now.
Even as Toji struggles to wrap his mind around your abrupt change in demeanor, with that practiced look of almost serene impassivity, you look so good to him, wearing an oversized sweatshirt and tiny bike shorts. You always dress down at home, in comfy, baggy things. Toji supposes you packed away all the sweatshirts you’ve collected from him with everything else of his. 
“You won’t even let me apologize?” Toji stands stiffly in the foyer, next to the bags; behind him is the front door, still open, as if waiting for him to step outside. “It was all shit talking. I didn’t mean how it sounded.”
“That doesn’t make it better and it’s not just that. You’ve been hot and cold lately. Admit it: you can’t bring yourself to acknowledge me as anything but an obligation.” You exhale slowly, rubbing your temple. “I’ve tried to be understanding; you lost your wife and I realized it would be hard. I knew that, I knew there was a chance that no matter how close we became, I was never going to be enough for you.”
You put up a good front, but Toji can recognize the faint tremble in your voice, see how your jaw locks slightly, as though you’re holding back curses. He’s hurt you. 
“Baby, c’mere?” Toji opens his arms with a pleading half smile. “You’ve been stressed lately, that’s all. You’ve been working hard and I haven’t been showing my appreciation properly, is that it?”
“Oh spare me. Listen, I won’t swear revenge or sick henchmen on your trail.” You go on, calm as can be, not budging an inch. “The check won’t bounce and all your things are there; if I missed anything, I’ll send it to you. You’re free to go.”
Toji stares at you in disbelief, arms dropping to his sides. You could have just as easily said "you're dismissed" with that cutting tone of yours.
“Are you fucking serious?” 
When you fail to respond, he suddenly turns from you, but not to storm off. Instead, Toji slams the front door closed so hard, it’s a wonder the whole structure didn’t come crashing down. You don’t so much as flinch when Toji strides up to get in your face.
“I want my stuff out of these bags.” he snarls. "Now."
“There’s no need to make a scene. It’s not like you’ll be without a benefactor for long; I bet you could find another meal ticket just walking down my driveway. The whole neighborhood is full of lonely rich women, you can have your pick.”
“You’re not a meal ticket. You know that, you know I didn’t mean it dammit!”
“Enough.” You raise a hand up, your voice clipped. “Fushiguro-san, you have your things, plenty of money, and my own promise to leave you in peace. What more could you possibly want? What exactly is it that you’re holding out for? You don’t expect me to fund you indefinitely, I’m sure.”
"Why are you acting like this? Like you don't even give a shit?"
Toji’s hands clenched into fists; he’s radiating power and murderous intent, but you don’t look swayed or even scared. You know he wouldn’t strike you. Just the idea sickens him; no, it’s not you he’s actually angry with. 
“I’m a fucking idiot who wanted to show off, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? Fine. Now we’re gonna talk this out like adults, I’ll put this shit back-"
“No, you will not. I want it gone. I want you gone. Don’t you understand?” You tell him firmly, eyes finally averting to the pile of bags. Toji’s puffed chest deflates at the sadness that finally touches your inflection. “I’m disappointed enough as it is; can’t you do this one thing for my sake? Why are you insisting on dragging this out?”
“I want to put it all back.” Toji blurts out stubbornly, so loud his voice echoes in the high ceilings. “You can’t do this to me, I want to stay.”
“Excuse me?” You snap. “What exactly am I ‘doing to you’?”
“Come on, this is so silly, kicking me out over a misunderstanding.” Toji lowers his voice, a smile coming to his lips as he attempts to charm you once again, hands coming up to gently grasp your shoulders. “You’re breakin’ my heart here. You said it yourself, it’s a been over a year, you know me-”
“Do I?”
“Yes!” Toji steps forward, a strained grin on his lips. “You do. You know me and you know you’re my best girl.”
“Out of all the others?”
“Best and only; I haven’t been with anyone else in months.” Toji rubs his hands over your arms but you only give him a look of derision. “I’m not lying; tell you the truth, ever since we went out to the beach, it’s only been you. Remember that trip?” he grins softly, nuzzles your temple; he knows you want to lean into him, you’re just being stubborn. How adorable. He loves when you get grumpy and need his help relaxing. “I showed you how to make a fire and we fell asleep outside on the hammock. That night was something else...you’ve been the only one ever since. Baby, I swear, there haven't been any other women.” 
Toji inches closer, hands shaking slightly where they grip your shoulders; his love bites are still visible, some more faint than others; his arms ache to hold you. You’re so close, so what’s with this wall you’re putting up? 
"I want to believe that."
"It's the truth."
Toji isn’t sure how or when it began, but before he knew it, you were calling just to talk and ask how he was doing, if he needed anything. You requested he join you not just for meetings as extra muscle or posing as a date, but on walks and meals, having conversations about the weather to debates about the nature of man to whether toast was better with jelly or jam. You’d take Toji out randomly on shopping trips and end up buying him pretty much anything that caught his eye. Anything Toji wanted, he got, and along with it you increasingly showered him with praise and affection. 
When the sex began Toji thought he got you out of his system the first time, only to end up not just repeating these trysts, but staying longer and longer after he fucked your brains out. It was borderline embarrassing, how quickly Toji found himself lulled in by your pillowtalk as you encouraged him to sleep in, promising you’d have breakfast ready for him in the morning. Sometimes, Toji would come over when you weren’t even home with the spare keys you gifted him and promptly burrow himself in your bed until you were due home. The whole room smelled sweet and it was so cozy being wrapped in the down blankets. Toji's eyelids would get heavier as he wallowed in your scented sheets ike a pig rolling in mud until the combined aromas of your perfumes, lotions, and natural scent clung to his nostrils, soothing and oddly familiar; within minutes Toji would be out like a light. After some of the best rest he had ever gotten, Toji would wake up to you stroking his head, petting him like a dog, and asking him what he would like for dinner. 
Eventually, inevitably, came the point of no return. During that beach trip Toji told you about his past; he didn’t go into too much detail, mainly that he had loved someone and he was pretty sure lightning only struck once. You didn’t get jealous or angry; you simply kissed his knuckles and put your hand over his, not saying much of anything while Toji spoke. That night on the beach you held his hand and allowed him to reminisce at his own pace into the early hours of the morning, until he was too exhausted to do anything else but hold you and the two of you stayed that way until noon.
That peaceful, almost unreal night, Toji realized you actually gave a shit about him and he didn’t know what to do with that. Regardless, you made it clear you didn’t expect to own his heart and soul. You only promised to take care of him. 
“I was being stubborn, you know how I get sometimes. You’re my one and only, baby, can’t we just forget about it?”
“I want you to leave.”
“No.”
“It wasn’t a request.”
“No!”
Toji’s hands cup your cheeks and he winces at the disgust in your eyes; why are you looking at him like that? 
“Okay, okay, let me make it up.” Toji’s voice is sweet as pie; he leans in, practically purring in your ear. “Let’s go upstairs. I’ll show you how sorry I am.”
“Get. Off. I knew you were shameless, but this is...”
You might as well have slapped him across the face; Toji’s smile falls as you glare like he’s some repulsive insect, a leech, like the thought of him touching you is making your skin crawl.
Toji’s hands retract from your face, expression blank. “You’re really serious.”
“Don’t give me that kicked puppy look. As if you don’t have women on speed dial to call up. Why don’t you make up with one of your other meal tickets? I’m sure they’ll have forgiven you by now for however you wronged them-”
“I told you there isn’t anyone else. Don’t do this.” Toji mutters, head hanging; his chest throbs, he can feel sweat trickle down his temple. “Don’t make me go.”
It’s doubtful you could forcibly remove Toji from your presence, but that’s beside the point. It doesn’t mean anything if you don’t want him. 
“I’m sorry.”
“Apology accepted.”
“No, I’m really sorry.” Toji falls to his knees. “Don’t make me go.”
“Hey, wait, what are you…?”
Toji wraps his arms around your thighs, face pressed into your waist; you stiffen but he hangs on tighter, fingers digging into your hips almost painfully.
“Please, don’t make me. I wanna go upstairs, back to our bed. Listen, I,” Toji pries himself away from you just enough so he can look at you with glassy eyes. He’s panicking now, babbling and frantic as you try to pry off his arms. “Stop that! Baby, I got all messed up about getting too attached and I-I didn’t mean anything I said, you gotta believe me.”
“Toji, let go!” 
A cold sweat makes Toji’s already tight shirt stick to his tensed back muscles; he feels like he’s being choked. How could you do this to him? All he wants is to stay with you, whether it’s as a bodyguard, a hired companion, a fuck toy, hell, he’ll settle for being your pet if that’s what it takes to get you to take him back. 
"You promised you'd take care of me." he mutters, ignoring your vain attempts at freeing yourself from his unyielding hold. "I don't...want it to be anyone else."
Toji won’t let you go. You’ve made him lazy and spoiled with your pampering; he doesn’t have to work if he doesn’t want to, never has to worry about money or food or rent, and he never has to wake up alone anymore. Whether Toji’s angry, tired, bored, or as of late, happy, you’re the first person he thinks of. You give him everything and now you’re trying to cut him off.
"You let me go right now!" You slap at his shoulders, try to pull back his head from where it's pressed into your midsection. "Are you even listening?!"
With a distressed moan, Toji nuzzles your tummy, kisses the skin peeking out from your sweatshirt riding up under his forearms; his rough hands relax their grasp a fraction to caress your hips. 
“Let me stay. I won’t answer calls from my old bosses, I’ll quit betting. If I look at another woman, gouge my eyes out. All you have to do is tell me how to fix things.” Toji smiles at you, one he knows makes women weak in the knees. “Don’t be mad at me anymore. I’ll make it up, I swear. I’ll do anything you want.” he promises between kisses and nips to your skin. “Why are we wasting time arguing? You know, I can make you feel so good. My poor baby, spending all day working so damn hard; you deserve better. I'll help take the edge off...you’d like that, wouldn’t you? I can help, just-”
“Toji, stop-”
“Just let me dammit!” 
Toji feels you freeze up; you’re looking back at him with wide eyes. His stomach drops like a rock.
“Sorry…I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you.”
No. Now you look scared, maybe a bit concerned; is that for him? Toji can feel some warmth creeping into his chest in spite of everything; you’re so good to him. You went to so much trouble for him and he has no idea why. 
You can’t do this. You can’t treat him like a thing to be cherished and then take it all away. Toji just wants things to go back to how they were that morning, with you feeding him berries and syrup drenched pieces of fluffy pancakes, giving him teasing kisses in between each bite, asking what his plans were for the day as he lounges in your lap, wondering what he did to deserve to be so content and full and happy. You made him so happy.
“Shit.” Toji sniffs; he can feel them coming but can’t stop the tears leaking from his eyes. “Shit.” he curses again, bowing his head until it’s resting against your tummy again. “You can’t…you can’t leave me. I won’t let you. I won’t let you abandon me. I can’t-”
“Toji, calm down.” Your voice softens considerably. “Look, do you understand why I’m upset with you?”
“I know, I know I fucked up okay?” Toji croaks, still clinging to your legs. “So what the fuck am I supposed to do, huh? I already said I would do anything you want, so just tell me!”
“Sh, come on, breathe. I need you to calm down, alright?” You bend at the waist slightly, to card your fingers through his damp hair. “Okay, I believe you. I do. I believe you, Toji.”
“Are you gonna kick me out still?”
“No, I won’t for the time being. We can sit down and talk about-whoa!”
Toji wastes no time; he has you lifted off the ground in his arms. You quickly wrap your arms around his shoulders as he makes a beeline for the stairs.
“Slow down!” You glance backward in disbelief at how easily he bounds up the carpet steps. “How are you so strong? Don’t drop me, okay?”
But Toji doesn’t answer; he practically bolts, finally reaching the next level, races down the hallway until he’s at the door to your-the bedroom he and you share. Toji’s heavy boot easily kicks the door open, somehow without breaking it off the hinges; in record time you’re on the bed, but shockingly, Toji doesn’t start stripping you down.
“Toji?” You ask tentatively; he seems fairly out of it and you can’t help feel worried. “Toji, what are you doing?”
“Baby, I’m tired. Let’s just go to bed, huh?” 
Toji kicks off his boots, gently sits you down in the middle of the mattress among the fluffy pillows and the cheap plush bunny he won for you at a crane machine. Nearly hyperventilating, Toji climbs into bed after you, snatches the sheets and comforter to wrap around the two of you in a soft cocoon. Toji grabs you, cradling you in close as he tries to even out his breathing; for a fleeting second you wonder if this is what stuffed animals felt, if they could become sentient, when children held them tight for comfort. Your attention is brought back by the man rubbing his face into your hair insistently, as if he could tell your mind had briefly wandered.
“Hey, are you-?”
“Don’t make me go.” Toji cuts you off hoarsely. “You love me, right?”
“I do.”
“Say it.”
“I do love you.” You confess sincerely, words muffled slightly due to your face being squished into his chest; his heart is beating a mile and minute. “I was hurt, alright? I want to be good to you, Toji. You have to let me though; you’re not the type to dance around an issue. I just want you to be honest with me and yourself.”
“Yes, yes, I want that. You’re so good to me, baby, thank you.” Toji wraps his legs around yours; if there was a way for you to mold into him he’d make it happen. “Can I move my stuff back in?”
“I…” You hesitate. “Maybe we’re moving too fast.”
“What? No we aren’t. If anything, we're not moving fast enough. Are you still thinking of leaving?” Toji grabs your face in his hands, forcing you to look at him; his eyes look crazed. “You’re not right? You just fucking said you loved me-!”
“Hey, hey.” You put your hands over his gently. “If you really meant what you said before, you have to listen and be good. Can you do that for me?”
Toji nods quickly. You smile for him, finally, and it's a sight for sore eyes. How do you always look so pretty? Toji’s chest throbs and he hugs you, making your ear press against his heart; you can hear it, right? It almost stopped dead when you were glowering at him, Toji still can't believe he was so close to losing this. It's not going to happen again.
“I wanna touch you.”
Toji separates from you as abruptly as he had squeezed you to him; he hovers above you, tugging on the band of your shorts, your panties. He groans pitifully when you still look unsure. Toji hikes your legs up until your ass is pressed to his chest and he’s face to face with your pussy, still covered up. That won’t do: wordlessly, he rips the seams of your shorts apart and pulls your panties to the side. Gently spreading your pussy lips with his fingers, Toji makes sure to look you in the eyes while he lets a long trail of spit trickle from his tongue to your exposed clit. 
“See?” he licks a long strip over your slit, salivating at the taste. “I’m drooling for it, just like a dog….heh, I can be your dog. Is that what you want? I’ll fetch and roll over and beg.” he traces his tongue around your swollen clit. “All you gotta do is ask.”
You can barely form words, forget making requests, as Toji slobbers, licking and sucking until you’re dripping wet. Your hands grip the pillows and your head rolls back and forth; you can hardly speak and you’re more squealing than moaning when Toji starts using his fingers to fuck your soaked pussy.
“I’m loyal too. You’re not ever getting rid of me.” 
Toji pulls back, kisses and nips the inside of your thigh as he watches his fingers disappear inside you over and over again. He’s smiling down at you, dumbly, in a daze as you let out soft cries with every pump of his wrist, every time his thumb rubs a touch too hard on your clit. He’s the only one who gets to see you like this, composure gone, face flushed, eyes wide, hardly able to do more than moan and whine at his touches. Toji’s smile turns devilish; he purposefully pulls his fingers out and shoves them back in to draw out the squelch sounds from how wet he’s made you. He slowly drags his fingers out all the way and you inhale sharply from the sensation.
“It’s my turn to spoil you.”
Toji lowers your hips down on the sheets and quickly shrugs off his sweatpants and underwear; his cock bobs when it’s released and you’re a bit shocked at how hard he is despite not touching himself.
“Let me fuck you.” Toji rocks his hips, cock over the inside of your thigh. “You still want me, right?”
And if you think he’s going to stop at one round, if you think for a second one time is going to be enough and you somehow still plan to have him out on his ass, maybe you don’t know him. Toji’s fingers dig into your ass; he’s rutting now, throbbing and dripping precum all over you and the bedspread. It brings a twisted grin to his face, like he’s marking his territory. After all, this is where he belongs. If you won’t be persuaded by his touch and words alone, Toji has other ways, he just doesn't want to resort to making you afraid of him. 
Because he meant exactly what he said: you're not getting rid of him. If you try to, Toji will just come back. If you run, he'll chase, if you hide, he'll come looking. You've made him into this.
“’M being good, yeah?” Toji lowers his head to your chest to slobber over your nipples next, barely able to speak with his lips sucking and his tongue flicking over them. “I can keep making you feel good, just let me fuck you, let me put in in, let me wreck you-”
“Toji, I want to ride your cock tonight.” You play with his hair and kiss his jaw. “Can I?”
Toji doesn’t hesitate; he throws himself back to lie on your pillows, getting even harder as your scent hits him. He licks his lips in anticipation as you straddle him, stroking him once before lining the tip up with your pussy. Toji’s eyes roll in the back of his head as you slowly sink down, clenching tight; he has to grab at the sheets and force himself to be still, has to keep telling himself this is for you, he’s going to go at your pace and show you how good he can be, obedient and careful. You’ve got him wrapped around your finger and he loves it-
“It almost hurts. You're so hard.” You gasp when you’re fully seated on his cock. “Oh, Toji…are you going to cum soon?”
“Nah, don’t worry about that baby.” Toji grins up at you, face flushed and hands shaking as they cling to the pillowcase. “So good…it feels so fucking good when I’m all the way inside. Go on, use my cock to cum, ride me until your pussy can’t take it.”
You tilt your hips so the tip of Toji’s cock rubs against that spot that makes you see stars and your clit gets rubbed against him with every thrust. At first you have your hands over his chest, but when Toji tries to slide his hands up to grab at your tits, you stop him.
“Huh?”
“No, you don’t get to touch me.” You pant out, gently but firmly holding Toji’’s hands above his head. “Tha-that’s your punishment.”
Toji’s brow furrows; he’s practically pouting. He knows he said "anything", but he wants to touch you so badly. Your tits look good enough to eat, nipples slick and begging to be played with, and your skin feels like silk on his fingers. Toji watches, biting the inside of his cheek, tasting blood when you start bouncing, thighs taut and face contorted in pleasure as you get closer and closer to making a mess on his lap.
“Baby,” Toji groans. “Come on, let me, you’re close right? It’ll feel better.”
“I can cum like this.” You say playfully as you tap his pursed lips with one finger. “You said you'd be good.”
“Just wanna touch you....” Toji’s hands twitch but he doesn’t shake off your grip; he raises his hips and you let out a whine. “Please?"
You stop moving and Toji grits his teeth, staring at you with wide eyes. 
“Hey…why did you stop?” 
“Sorry,” You smile in genuine delight. “You’re really adorable, you know that?”
“Fuck, keep goin’,” Toji nibbles the tip of your finger before you pull it away. “Come on, keep making my dick wet,”
“So cute.” You cup his face and press a long, loving kiss to his forehead. “I love you, Toji, I really do.”
Toji can’t stop himself; he yanks you down, traps you in his arms and thrusts up. 
“Ah!” 
“Sorry, ‘m sorry baby. I gotta,” Toji slurs. “Ah fuck it.”
You shriek as Toji flips you over; he has your legs spread and lowers his face down to suck and kiss and bite at your breasts, slamming his cock as deep inside your pussy as he can go. He briefly touches your hair, patting your head as you scream and writhe, smiling down at you so warmly even as his cock splits you open.
“Can’t help it. Need it, need this so fucking bad.” 
Toji latches onto your neck, sucking so hard you think he might tear the skin; you cry out and your nails accidentally scratch long, red lines down his back and shoulders. You’re clawing and sobbing, completely overwhelmed underneath him. He’s fucking you like an animal with no regard for pacing or rhythm, holding you down and open for him to slam his cock inside your swollen little pussy. Toji straightens up to grind himself into you just the way he knows you like best, gently rubbing away at your clit, smirking at the way you gush around his cock. You’re so pretty like this, flushed and messy for him.
“Tell me again. Tell me you love me and I’ll make you cum so hard your legs shake.”
“Love you,” You gasp, arms wrapping around Toji’s bulging neck, drawing him in closer; you press kisses over his cheeks, nose, chin. “I love you, I-ah!”
Toji is done being patient; he keeps his thumb pressed down on your clit, rubbing it harshly as he grinds his cock right into that spot, deep and hard; you’re never going to forget how his cock feels. Toji kisses you none too gently, lips prying your mouth open as he shoves his tongue down your throat; he really doesn’t even mean to be rough this time. The desire to devour you is overtaking him. 
He’s so close. Your pussy’s soaking, his head’s spinning; just before Toji’s about to cum, you muster up enough energy to hold him back tightly and pet his hair, moaning softly into the kiss, wrapping your legs around his waist. Toji wanted to last longer, but it’s too much. Abruptly, he breaks the kiss and his mouth goes to your jugular; Toji swears he can feel your pulse under his teeth.
“Cum inside me.” You plead, whimpering into his ear. “I want it…want you, Toji, no one else.”
“Shit.” Toji presses his forehead to yours, hiking up your thighs; the bed is creaking and shaking with the force of his thrusts. “I love you so fuckin’ much.”
Toji goes rigid and still as he cums, cock suddenly painfully sensitive; when you smile tiredly and kiss the palm of his hand, actual tears well up in the corners of his eyes. It’s all too much. He didn’t know he could even still feel like this, feel much of anything anymore. You shudder from his hot cum gushing inside you, but Toji doesn’t pull out just yet and you don’t seem in a hurry to move him anyway.
“I think you broke my dick.”
“...pardon me?”
“Pretty sure your pussy drained me dry…fuck.” Toji chuckles tiredly, very slowly pulling himself out, smiling in satisfaction as his cum seeps out of you and onto the sheets. “Did you like that?”
“I loved it.” You tell him softly, just beginning to catch your own breath as Toji uses his shirt to gently wipe you clean between your legs. “Toji?”
“Yeah?” Toji tosses his shirt somewhere and lays over you. “You want me to get you something? I bet you’re real tired after that.”
You pause; you look very serious all of a sudden, all business once more. “Toji, we really should talk about ‘us’. I don’t think we can just return to what we were.”
“What? But you said you loved me.” Toji raises his head to glare at you. “You’re not seeing other men, so put that idea out of your fucking head.”
“That is not what I meant!” 
“Okay…what is it then?”
“I was going to say, are you sure this is what you want?” You ask carefully, looking into his eyes. “Is this really what you want?”
“Does a bear shit in the woods?” Toji can’t believe you even have to ask; he frowns and clicks his tongue impatiently. “Fair warning, I’ll find you if you try to leave before I wake up.”
“I don’t doubt it, you’re an excellent tracker.”
“I mean it.” Toji mumbles into the crook of your neck, his heavy arm over your stomach. “You run, I’m hunting you down.”
“I wasn’t planning on making a grand escape; I was thinking something more along the lines of breakfast in bed.” You suggest and smile at the way Toji’s visibly perks up. “Oh, have you had dinner yet?”
“No, I came straight here from the gym.” he lies, eager to have you fuss over him. "I'm really hungry..."
“I’ll order in something; what do you want?” 
“Anything, just get lots of it.” Toji squeezes you. “But don’t go yet though. Wanna stay like this a little longer.”
“Whatever you want.”
In minutes, Toji is snoring and curled up in your sheets like a tuckered out puppy; his leg even kicks randomly. When he wakes up to the smell of warm food and your nails gently scratching his scalp, Toji yawns with a groggy smile and opens his mouth for you to feed him, licking crumbs off your fingers greedily. You really do spoil him. 
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PROVE IT ───
jackson rippner ✧𖦹
ೃ⁀➷ “You think you are possessing me / But I've got my teeth in you.” — ‘Unicorn’, Angela Carter
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pairing. jackson rippner x reader
summary. after breaking up with your boyfriend. you meet a handsome stranger at a bar. you tell him your cunt’s better than the girl’s your boyfriend cheated on you with; he tells you to prove it.
warnings. swearing, slight breeding kink, unprotected sex, creampie, p in v, semi-public sex, porn with some plot, impact play, degradation/insults, SMUT UNDER THE CUT!
word count. 3.6k
a/n. i seriously doubt i wrote jackson’s character accurately in this so please comment anything i can improve on LOL🙏
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It’s not often you spill your entire life story to a stranger at the bar, but this one, this stranger with his watery blue eyes and plush lips, is oddly inviting; charismatic to a fault. It makes you want to give him everything, and absently, in your alcohol riddled mind, you think he’d make a good scammer. 
Or, serial killer, whichever he prefers really.
But it's not entirely his fault; you’re stress drinking, downing too many shots in too little a time frame, and the alcohol’s already hit your system ten-fold. 
You’re there because you’d broken up with your boyfriend the night before. You’d been dating just short of a year. He was required to travel a lot, mostly in Europe, as per his job, and you let him go each time without qualms - love them, let them go, right? 
Wrong. He’d been cheating on you since he went to Copenhagen — four months, now — with a pretty little Dane that wanted to marry. 
You were furious when he told you, of course, it’s fucking insanity for him to marry someone he’s known for four months, but you began seeing all the differences between you and the woman he cheated on you with: she, a perfect homemaker, you, a distressed professional he saw maybe once a month. 
“Hey, hey, don’t beat yourself up,” the stranger across from you said softly, breaking you out of your nostalgic stupor and back into reality. “‘cause he’s a right asshole. For cheating on you like that.”
The man had entered the bar hours after you did, housing a simple drink or two and absently watching the softball game on the bar TV, before you drunkenly inched closer to him, desperate to rant your dilemma to just about anyone who’d listen. He bit, and here you were now.  
You peered up at the man, inspecting him. He’s gorgeous, definitely, but you can’t tell if you actually think that, or your foggy, not-been-fucked-for-months mind just wants him to rail you into next week. 
No matter, you thought, downing another shot. It burned the back of your throat sweetly, fire trailing down your insides. “M’not beating myself up,” you protested weakly, “jus’ — m’just… wondering if her cunt was - so much better than mine,” 
He laughed, boisterously, the kind of laugh you hear rumble out from a close friend while you detail every wrongdoing or shameful memory in your life: he’s comfortable right now, as are you.
“Well,” he inched closer, large hand sitting itself on your thigh and slowly inching upwards, “if it bothers you that much, why not prove it? That your pussy’s as good as you think.” 
This wasn’t the first of his attempts to flirt with you: firstly he’d tucked a stray hair away from your face, later he swiped a drop of drink off your lip, then he’d clutched you by the waist, pulling you close to him when someone squeezed past you in the crowded bar. His brisk touch wasn’t unfamiliar by any means, but it did suggest more than the other ones, especially coupled with the lustful words he was purring in your ear. 
Then, there’s a gap in your memory. One too many shots, a stranger toying with the hem of the skirt you donned for the bar, and his sweet voice in your ear was too much for your dizzy head, and the only thing you remember is this: one moment, he’s getting braver, rough fingers ghosting the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, and the next, you’re pressed against a bathroom stall wall, the handsome stranger’s knee pushing your quivering legs apart. 
You’re trading wet, messy kisses, and his hands are sneakily climbing up your shirt till they reach your chest. There’s a sharp intake of breath from him: “Fuck, sweetheart, no bra? You really were looking for someone to prove you right,” he cooed, touching your breasts needily. 
He’s kneading you artfully, fingers pawing at your flesh like he’s never felt something so soft, so plump. Your back arches as he does this; you’re practically putty in his hands. 
It doesn’t slip past you that you’re being felt up in a bar bathroom by a gorgeous stranger whom you don’t know the name of, but you don’t care. “Please,” you beg, his name coming up completely blank on your tongue, “please.”
“‘Please’ what, honey?” The stranger says huskily, one of his hands moving from your breasts up to your jaw, pushing it to the side to gain access to your neck. “Please kiss me? Finger me? Fuck me?”
You’re too drunk - and fucking horny - to deal with his theatrics, so you whine instead of answering, your weak fingers carding through his brown locks. 
“God,” he says, “How long has it been since you’ve been properly fucked? Just some touching and you’re already too fucking dumb to speak.”
His words make your cheeks burn with shame, but it also makes your core throb. The oh-so sweet stranger who listened to your problems all night telling you you’re just a dumb horny bitch is such a juxtaposition it's got you all hot and bothered. 
“Please,” you beg again, more desperate than before, “I need you.” 
The man let out an incredulous chuckle, head cocking back. “Baby, don’t tell me you like it like that. God, you’re such a fucking whore,” he said, before undoing his belt buckle and fly. 
He had noticed how your legs clenched around his knee, how your breathing got sharper as soon as the words “dumb” and “whore” slipped out of his pretty mouth, how your fingers trailed his back needily, desperate for any kind of touch. 
You bit your lip, watching the stranger through bleary, hooded eyes. He’d pulled his pants down just enough for his boxer shorts to be visible, before he grabbed you by the waist and turned you to press your face against the wall. 
One of his arms then draped across your shoulders, pinning you down and arching your back, hard, making your ass press flush against the large tent in his underwear. You let out a small gasp at the feeling, and you could practically see the smirk curling slyly on his face. 
He can’t be that big, right? It was just your drunk mind, making him feel bigger than you thought through his shorts. Plus, you hadn’t been fucked in over a month — you were probably just not used to it. 
Because, that’d be totally unfair - he’s beautiful, charming, an amazing kisser, and has a huge cock? No fucking way — if he was all that, he’s definitely a secret terrorist, or something. 
However, these days, you’ve learned that you don't have the best intuition. First, with your boyfriend, then again, with the man who just pulled out his thick cock, stroking it gently. 
“Oh, fuck,” you cursed, head straining to look at him behind you. Unconsciously, you shyly closed your legs at the sight of him. 
“Ah, ah, ah,” the man crooned, his other hand sliding between your legs and spreading them apart once more. “No take backs, honey. You did say you wanted me, did you not?”
The two of you were flush against each other, and you could feel his hard length resting between your legs. Just that, just him between you, already had you trembling in anticipation. 
“Then fuck me already,” you bit back, feigning confidence. In actuality, you were thinking: how was all that supposed to fit? And, of all people, you, who hadn’t been stretched out to fit any cock at all, not since last month, when your boyfriend made his routine visit. You were a loyal girl, alright, and your fingers never went as deep as any cock could.
But the moment for you to reveal your worries passed, and he simpered. “So fucking eager.” 
Then, his large hands smoothed down the swell of your ass, following the curve, before he lifted his hand up and came down on your cheek, making a loud noise reverberate throughout the empty bathroom. 
Your breath caught in your throat, a choked gasp mixed with a tense moan coming out instead, and you flushed. Thank god you were pressed against the cold bathroom stall wall, for it provided a miniscule relief to your burning face. 
He’d spanked you, and you fucking moaned. 
“So you do like it dirty.” he cooed, fingers returning and hooking into the waistband of your panties. 
“I bet,” he said, dragging the thin fabric down extremely slow, “that you didn’t come to the bar tonight to just drink,” he pressed closer against you, your folds now sitting right above his thick length, “you came, with no bra and a slutty skirt on, looking to get fucked senseless, didn’t you?”
He slowly slid in and out against your folds, his cock just barely grazing your clit, and you swore you could have screamed. The way he was teasing you was absolutely delectable and, in the same vein, incredibly torturous. 
“Answer me, honey.” he hummed, free hand rubbing circles on the skin of your hip. 
You let out an exasperated groan. “I - I came here tonight, to - ah!” you squeaked when the fat tip of the man’s cock poked your tight hole. 
“You came here tonight to… what?” He said, nonchalant, as if he wasn’t slowly driving his large dick into you. 
“I came here to…” you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to ground your thoughts, and squarely not think about how mouthwateringly good the handsome strangers cock felt, “to get—“
Then, the loudest keen you’d ever heard tore out of you, your eyes rolling into the back of your head, when he suddenly shoved all of his length into your soaking cunt. 
He bottomed out with a breathy laugh, watching your knees buckle and your mouth hang wide open. Then, once more, his calloused hand came down on your ass, a large crack sounding out within the bathroom. 
“Shut the fuck up, whore. Someone’ll hear.” The stranger said, as if he hadn’t just made a loud noise spanking you like that. 
But the way he insulted, complemented, mocked and teased all in a few sentences had you shuddering; never in your life did you think such dirty words could make you so wet. 
You barely kept in another whine, waves of pleasure ebbing throughout your body. The burning pain of the spank in combination to how your walls squeezed around his cock had you barely coherent, your face taut with pleasure. 
“Fuck, baby, you’re dripping all over my cock,” he whispered, leaning down for you to hear. As he did so, however, his dick pressed further into you, and another helpless groan rolled off your tongue. 
“But you’re too goddamn loud.” The stranger growled, and the arm of the hand that was pressing you against the wall shifted, now covering your mouth. 
Before you could protest, he slid out, then snapped into you. Immediately, you saw stars, and a muffled mewl slipped past your lips. 
“Jesus christ,” he murmured, “your little fuckhole’s taking me so well.” He began to slide in and out at a fast, rhythmic pace, so fast you could barely comprehend the ecstacy you were feeling. 
“Oh my god,” you barely stuttered out past his large hand. He was pounding in and out of you relentlessly, selfishly, no regard for your moans or helpless whines, merely focussed on thrusting his fat cock into your sweet cunt. 
Then, the both of you heard the bathroom door open, and you froze. The handsome stranger moved quickly, grabbing you by the waist and planting you on his lap as he sat down on the toilet. His other hand, still trained on your mouth, gripped tighter than ever when he felt the groan bubble up from your throat: this new position of you on his lap had his long length pressed right against your cervix.
“Now you really gotta be quiet, honey,” he whispered, pressing his face into your neck. You shut your eyes helplessly, a dejected whimper exiting your mouth. 
“Just be fucking quiet. You don’t want everyone in this bar to know what a dirty slut you are, spreading your legs for a fucking stranger in the bathroom, right?” He said, words foul and like poison, but actions completely stark to it: he was pressing sweet, chaste kisses on your shoulder, laying his head on your back. 
The man in the other stall was taking so fucking long to finish, and, despite the stranger’s words, he began to slowly rut into you, his large hands coming to rest on your hips and help you slide up and down on his cock.
Your eyes widened. “What are- ah, wh— what are you doing?” you said, a stuttered, hesitant moan leaving  your mouth, but you were completely without the motivation to actually stop him: the pleasure you felt earlier had increased immensely in this slower, riskier pace he took on. 
“Shh,” was all you saw him say, as you strained your neck to look at him. He looked the epitome of smug, lips curled, cheeks flushed attractively, strands of hair falling down onto his forehead.
Without his hand to muffle your groans, you muffled them yourself, biting down on your tongue. One hand of yours gripped onto the stranger's thigh to keep your balance, and your other hand sneakily traveled down to your wet, hot mound, fingers beginning to rub at your clit. 
He noticed this, however, hand gripping at your wrist and pulling you back to pin your arm behind you. “Only I get to touch you,” he snarled, “because this fuckin’ pussy’s all mine. Gonna be all mine.”
You let out a shaky exhale at his words, but you found your cunt more flexible than before, the soft slapping of your skin between each other sounding easier, wetter. Jesus, did you really get more turned on by what he’d said?
Finally, the person who had wandered in and entered the stall beside you exited the bathroom entirely, and you belted out a sharp moan with how the stranger swiftly picked you up and pressed you against the wall once more, this time facing him. 
He plunged his big cock into you like nothing before, animalistically, nails digging so hard into your hips you swore he drew blood. His pace was stuttered, desperate, like nothing could distract him from pounding into you, not even a fucking meteor. 
You, on the other hand, were arching, the pleasure taking your body over completely. Your hands carded through his brown hair, tugging when he hit that particularly spongy spot into you. He groaned, a rough and stuttered thing, feeling himself brush against that spot every time. 
Your tight cunt was stretching and contracting around his dick, like you were made with his fat length in mind, and it drove you up the fucking wall: the pain in your hip, the cold linoleum wall, his cock thrusting in and out — it was all so much, and your orgasm began to spill out from under you. It was slow, like water coming out of an overfilled glass.
“You — god, you’re fucking coming, aren’t you,” the stranger said knowingly. Your cunt had gotten tenser, stickier, trying to grip at him like you were afraid he’d never come back to you. 
You nodded rapidly, opting to do so in fear an unintelligible string of groans would come out instead of your words. 
He grinned, and lifted your legs to wrap around his waist, allowing his cock deeper access into you. Your toes curled, the new angle like being impaled, his dick easily slipping past your slick folds. 
One of his hands lifted off your hip and trailed across your lower stomach, “Can you feel that, honey? Its my fucking cock, so deep m’gonna shoot my come right in your womb,” he purred, pressing the bulge. 
Both of you were affected, a breathy grunt slipping past his lips, and you a feverish mewl. You couldn’t believe how big he was, large enough for him to be fucking visible on you from the outside. 
Suddenly, you remembered the man’s name: he’d said it, offhand, to the bartender before you dragged him to the bathroom. He asked the bartender to put your drinks on his tab, under the name Jackson. 
You face grew taut, your orgasm suddenly switching from a slow, sneaky drip to a hard smack, right across your face. “Jackson! Jackson, please,” you moaned at last, his name sounding right at home on your tongue. 
“Fuck, honey, you remembered? God, that’s so hot,” He whispered sweetly, then dragged you through your orgasm, thick cock pounding in and out of your throbbing core. 
It was like all the pleasure had steadily built up within your insides, all up into a big ball, then had suddenly burst, flowing throughout your entire body like you weren’t already being fucked relentlessly. 
“Such a - fuck - tight and pretty pussy,” he said, leaning into rest his head against your chest. You were weak, sensitively riding out your high, but you knew Jackson wasn’t quite as close. 
His thrusts began getting sloppier, harsher and focussed merely on feeling your walls against every inch of him. Your head rested beside his own, your eyes practically crossing with the overstimulation. 
Despite your orgasm, your cunt was still soaking, definitely dripping and marking a wet patch on both your skirt and his pants. It made you tremble, thinking of you two tiredly exiting the bathroom, disheveled and having to cover the other up. 
At this point, you didn’t know what kind of filthy fucking noises were exiting your mouth, with Jackson’s grunts and groans covering up your whines completely.
“M’gonna come,” he said a few long moments later, almost inaudible. “Say my name, say who owns this tight fucking pussy.”
“You do! Jackson does!” You exclaimed, his cock ripping in and out of you quicker and more jolted. “Jackson owns this pussy!”
Jackson grinned weakly, and with one final, harried thrust, he let go deep within you. He clenched his jaw, piercing blue eyes shutting tight and losing himself within the warm and wet feeling of your cunt squeezing him for every drop. 
You were so fucking full, and even when Jackson pulled his softening cock out of you — which, was still huge despite its idleness — you felt stuffed to the brim. 
His come dripped down your leg, and he promptly pulled your panties up, patting your worn out cunt as he did so. “You’re taking all my fucking come, so good honey.” he said, pressing a hungry kiss to your neck. “You were right: this cunt’s better than whoever your shit ex cheated on you with.”
“Told you so.” You gazed up at him through heavy-lidded, gleeful eyes. He was an absolute darling sweetheart, it seemed, switching from degradingly fucking you to romantically praising you. “Are you… up for round two?” you said, as he slipped his hand within your own, clasping tightly. You didn’t really mean round two - though, you wouldn’t protest it, especially with his delectable way of fucking you - you actually just wanted to go home with him… see where this relationship could lead you.
“Sweetheart, you don’t have to ask. You’re comin’ home with me tonight,” he saw through you cheekily, pulling you close to him. 
So, you did go home with him, and in the morning you laid beside him in the ruffled white sheets, counting the freckles on his face.
His eyes fluttered open when you shuffled. “Were you watching me?” he said, voice low and sleepy. 
You nodded silently, your hand coming up to pet his skin comfortingly. After a beat passed, you asked the question that was bothering you all morning. “Jackson, you wanted to fuck me first, right?”
He blinked, tense for a moment, before smoothing out his expression. “What?” he opted on saying instead, sounding every bit clueless and entirely convincing.
Not convincing enough for you, however. “Baby, you think I didn’t notice the shots you were calling over and inching toward me? I was drunk, not stupid.”
“Are you saying I took advantage of you?” He said darkly, a side of him otherwise unknown to you ‘till now. 
You raised a judging brow. “No need to be offended. I wanted to see where it was going to go: ‘did the handsome stranger want to fuck me, or did he want to kill me?’.”
He pulled you close to him, his arm snaking around your hips. “So, what are you saying?” he said, pressing a patronizing kiss to your forehead. 
“Hm. Well, I jus’ wanna know if this is a one nightstand.”
“And you don’t care about the - drinks, the “taking advantage” part?”
You let out a laugh. “I was confident, darling; I keep pepper spray and a pocket knife in my purse. Even if you did - which you didn’t - I’d make it out alive.”
Jackson bit his lip, looking up at you. This had meant to be a one night stand, considering the job he had, but you were looking at him so sweetly, so accepting, like you secretly knew what he did for a living and wanted him despite it. 
“Not a one night stand,” he murmured, leaning into your touch. 
You beamed, and, later, when you did find out what he did for a living, you merely cocked your head. Thought about it… outweighed the pros, the cons, (and the fact you were completely right: he was perfect, but also a fucking sociopath), and merely shrugged. 
“Honey, you’ll never do anything to me. Why should I care what you do for a living? Just don’t,” you warned, staring at him like you could and would fucking kill him, “cheat on me.” 
You didn’t have the best intuition. And, as it turned out, a great moral compass, either. 
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darkcircles4lyfe · 9 months ago
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it's a story about hands (reprise)
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Yeah, okay, today's the day.
I gave my blog that title for a reason, you know, and it has loomed over me for years because the hand motif is absolutely everywhere and you could go on about it forever.
Maybe that's something I'll never actually attempt to do, but this chapter, we reached a breaking point.
Before I continue, I need to give a big, big disclaimer: I do not have a physical disability, so I'm not able to speak about that from the standpoint of representation as a first-hand perspective. I have at least listened to enough disabled people to know that fictional characters who become amputees only to miraculously gain their limbs back is, um, a trope. Disabled people in general being "healed" is a conception we would really prefer to avoid here. Not to call people out, but I don't think we're giving enough space to acknowledge that.
I don’t feel comfortable making the judgement call about what should happen. I’m leaving that open. I also don't want to downplay people's emotional reactions. Honestly, I don't know if I can accurately define the line between acknowledging real pain vs. ableist pity. But I’d like to talk about the possibilities of what could happen. Other characters have definitely gotten permanent disabilities as a result of their hero work, or even just the side effects of their quirk. But, for better or worse, I don't think this case is really about representation. Not that Horikoshi won't do that justice. He might. What I'm saying is that's not his purpose for having Izuku lose his arms. It's meant to be symbolic, so we can explore what it means. The other thing I’m keeping in mind here is that Horikoshi is notorious for playing with our expectations, like, alllllll the time. I mean, just take a few chapters ago for a classic example. Eri appeared at the end, and we all assumed she was about to take some sort of action to save someone with her quirk. Then, immediately following, we were given an explanation for why that wouldn’t be happening. And now it’s clear he wanted to do that “fake out” not just as a silly cliffhanger prank, but specifically so we would know not to suspect that Eri could be the miraculous solution to Izuku’s loss of his arms. Rest assured, there is no easy way out of this.
The expectation at play in this particular instance is an old one. It’s very understated, but its subtext has burned so brightly, you’d be a fool not to notice it. It sits with anticipation like one half of a call and response. Man, I was so certain. Lots of people still are. I was really looking forward to printing the panel where it happened onto a t shirt and wearing it proudly. All the hand motifs in this story radiate thematically from a single moment, the one that started it all for Izuku.
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It raises all kinds of questions about the act of saving, who needs saving, why, what does it mean, what are the dynamics of power, politics, honesty, exploitation, compassion, pity, disdain, sacrifice. Katsuki has dealt with many of these since he first rejected Izuku’s hand. While Izuku was the one who was convinced Katsuki would keep on rejecting him…
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…Katsuki was the one who kept that moment in his mind all these years and eventually came to regret it.
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Katsuki is the one yearning for that hand-hold, the one who has imbued it with so much more weight than it ever originally had. Izuku, in contrast, does not allow himself to dwell on what he wants. To illustrate this difference, we need to look at another piece of foreshadowing:
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Ugh, do y'all remember when lots of folks were complaining about how there never seemed to be actual consequences for Izuku's destructive treatment of his own body? I don't blame them, I was concerned and confused about it too. There were several "fixes" along the way. Recovery Girl healed him, but left a physical reminder. Then he started training to fight with his legs… sometimes. Then he got support items. All of these were unsatisfying non-conclusions because they didn't present Izuku with a lasting enough impression to change in a meaningful way. They didn't address his core, his origin.
Of course, that all changed this chapter. Now it looks like our frustration was inflicted intentionally. With the current context in mind, all of these moments look more sinister, like this day was always gonna come because they kept putting bandaids on a deep emotional and psychological wound. The problem is pretty much spelled out for us here:
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As Katsuki put it, he just doesn’t take himself into account, ya know? He doesn’t care what happens to him. And he lies about it, to keep others from worrying, to keep them safe. To keep them from returning the favor and putting themselves in harm’s way for his sake. His motivations are noble,
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…but what about the little boy inside Izuku? Who saves him?
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This is all about Izuku giving himself up to the point that he literally has no more to give. The thing is, I bet he saw this coming. He knew his limits and decided to keep going anyway, because his personal safety and wellbeing are not important. Now that way of thinking has come back to bite him because the fight isn’t over yet, and he’s already made his sacrifice. So now we know who will be more distraught over this. Not Izuku—Katsuki.
It’s not about Izuku becoming disabled, it’s about how Katsuki wanted to use the intertwining of their fingers to communicate that he would never let go. Never stop valuing him most. Never let himself make the mistake of rejecting him again. Never let Izuku be so reckless with his life. To say: “we are in this together.”…if only Katsuki believed he deserved to be able to say such things. To reach out his hand would have been the ultimate way to simply imply them and let Izuku be the one to decide. Then, to feel their hands clasped together would be more than either of them dared hope for, but so beautiful, so right. A moment they’ve waited their whole lives for.
Yeah. That’s what we were expecting. We’ve been so comfortable. Horikoshi gave us all the signs. He tempted and teased us over and over. BUT. You know he does this thing were he gives us a desirable, completely plausible and simple thing to look forward to, and then he snatches it away. And THEN he replaces it with something much better, something we were not expecting at all because it seemed too good to be true. That’s exactly what happened when Himiko snatched Izuku away, and we were robbed of the chance to see him and Katsuki fight together. In hindsight, though, I’m glad things went a different way because now there’s so much more depth and angst on display. Likewise, in the present moment, we may consider how, as one door closes, another opens.
As wonderfully meaningful as the hand-hold would have been, perhaps it is still too simple a resolution for Izuku, for his and Katsuki’s relationship. Tbh, it could have been done like 100 chapter ago. At this point, there’s so much more potential. There are a couple of ways it could go. If Izuku stays armless, Katsuki will be forced to use other methods to get his point across. He’ll have to do something else, or say what he means, or both. Yes, I’m talking about what you think I’m talking about. If I say it, I just might jinx it (lol), but I mean it. I’m being serious. Either way, if Izuku did get his arms back in the end, I’m sure that it wouldn’t be an easy fix. It would be hard-won against Izuku’s self-destructive mindset, and/or by Katsuki’s conviction. Again, I say this knowing it is not meant so much as a representation of disability, but as a representation of Izuku’s greatest character flaw taken to the extreme. I know this might sound harsh, like, hasn’t he been through enough? I get that, but… I’ve said it before and I say it again: Izuku is stubborn as hell.
I wish I had a resounding final note to end this on, but I kinda don’t. I’m not sure what’s best. Now we just have to wait and see what Horikoshi has in mind.
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