#me hyperventilating as i type this out
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if-mirrormine · 1 year ago
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chapter three of mirror mine is now live! in this chapter, you’ll get to:
give gralex all the cuddles
meet alex
flirt with the ros
spend some time with nora and callie at the restaurant
reconnect (briefly) with a certain absent father
the demo has been beta'd thank you besties you're out here doing gods work🙏 but if you manage find any mistakes that slipped between the cracks, send them my way!
if you like what i do, please consider supporting me on kofi!
and now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for:
play the demo here!
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nervocat · 6 months ago
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Thinking abt Boothill nearly 24/7. Crazy how I used to not understand how deep hyperfixations could go (would that be how you word it?). LIKE I DONT EVEN KNOW HIS LORE YET (except for one thing I unfortunately got spoiled for) AND I LOVE HIM??? SM?? LIKE????
Like I can't even put my thoughts into words. His design? One of my favorites EVER. His little things that make him him? Love those too. I feel like he's also very unique too with his character and I'm sosososo interested in his lore and what it is
Like how did he become mostly mechanical, with his head the only real thing left of him? What was his upbringing?? And for those of you who know what lore leak I'm referring to, how did that happen? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS??
I have so many feelings for this little silly guy named Boothill but I can't WORD THEM. I LOVE HIM. I LOVE HIS CHARACTER. I LOVE HIM BEYOND HUMAN AND WORD COMPREHENSION. I CAN'T WAIT TO SPEND MONEY ON THIS LITTLE GUYS PLS LET IT BE MY TIME TO WIN MY FIRST 50/50 BOOTHILL PLS I'LL TREAT YOU SO WELL
edit after posting: THEY CUT MY TAGS OFF TUMBLR YOUUUUUU (I'm embarrassed to post this)
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devils-little-sista · 2 years ago
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#how can people live like this#the tempature is above 72 degrees how are they not miserable#how are they not complaining#how are they not sweating through their clothes#how are they not suffocating hyperventilating#how are they ok with constant asthma attacks and constant overwhelming heat#how is this ok#why did I have to be a cold temperate person surrounded by hot temperate parents/family#I want cold I want to go outside and lay down on the frozen ground it feels so good outside right now#but it’s almost midnight and they surely wouldn’t let me go out now#but I can’t stand this anymore#at least at the old house I could crack open my bedroom window for fresh cool air#but these windows in new house do not even open#I feel trapped#I’m trapped in a tiny hot box with people that somehow think this is a normal ok tempature for a house to be and I’m dying#I mean literally dying asthma is trying to murder me as I type this#I need to find a fan or something#I don’t want to go walking all over the house looking for a fan while every one is asleep tho I’m bkund to wake them up and they cause a fus#I guess I’ll have to suffer the heat and asthma attacks for tonight#I’ll go looking for a fan in the morning when everybody wakes up#but idk if I can sleep in this man#I ussually can’t fall asleep at all in anything above 72#70-72 is pushing it that is some bad sleep. that’s barely being able to fall asleep and it takes forever and I wake up every hour and I’m#and I’m miserable and crying and wheezing the whole night#I am straight up not having a good time bro#want to sleep so bad. but too hot to sleep at all. parents somehow do not see a problem with this.#I might just pull an all nighter until tomorrow morning so I can find that fan#if I even survive the night if I survive the asthma attacks and suffocating overwhelming heat#I don’t how people can live like this I don’t how they can stand it#it’s driving me crazy
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pzycho · 9 months ago
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#db#thoughts#yall i just saw him again :((#just got home from his house after another sleepover ugh#i’ve lost count his many sleepovers we’ve had but i think i will be cutting him off after today :((#he’s so sweet at times but the times he isn’t#when he treats me so fkn shitty…. it overpowers every sweet things he does#bc i really believe my feelings for him are growing deeper#i don’t wanna say i’m in love with him but i do like the man SO MUCH#everything about what he does and everything about who he is (besides being an asshole to me) I LIKE SOOOOO MUCH#sometimes i think maybe he likes me back but then he does something that confirms he doesn’t and it hurts so bad#my chest start to get tight lol#not me wanting to hyperventilate rn as i type this out omg#so i’m for sure cutting him off today#i am done feeling like this#i am done questioning why i’m not enough for him to like me back#this is goodbye for me#i can’t hold on to the sweet stuff the things that made me fall for him bc this feeling rn… WRECKS ME#I FEEL LIKE DYING INSIDE#I FEEL LIKE STABBING MYSELF JUST TO GET RID OF THIS PAIN OMG#this is the first time i actually see a future with someone and OFCCC this is how he is to me#i think it’s time to put my avoidant attachment style to use and ghost him :((#not that he would text me for me to be actually ghosting him bc IM ALWAYS THE LAST ONE TO TEXT HIM AND HE NEVER FAILS TO LEAVE ME ON READ#anyway shoot me if i make another post saying i saw him again HAHAHSHSFGHJJJ#i left some things at his house but i’m sure he’ll just throw them away since he’s that kind of an asshole lol :)))#good bye
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crest-of-gautier · 10 months ago
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video editing is so fun... (specifically cutting down hours of gameplay into a highlights format)
#lizz.txt#it feels really ironic to post about video editing being fun when that's all i've been doing for the past 3 weeks LOL#but i haven't been able to edit something in highlights format since late november 2023 (which is my favorite type of editing)#technically i could've edited the big run recording from december but i was intimidated by the 12 hr-ish length#but after working on my friend and i's video essay im like 'actually cutting down 12 hr footage is way easier' LMAOO#and since im 99% done with that and i had some time to spare tonight i started to work through some recordings :D#there's two major ones i want to work through... a splatoon 1 revisit with friends + big run#hoping to have those done by the end of february at the latest!! but ideally i'd like to have it done earlier because!!!#i'm interested in recording eggstra work (not that they've announced it) as well as um. reload#i have so much positive regard for the characters in p3 that i'm like 'i don't think i can control the words that come out of my mouth-#when i'm very excited about something' so i'd like to have my playthrough documented somewhere LOL even if i dont post it!!!#sometimes i think about how when i was playing fe3h i got to the sylvain and felix A+ support and HOW I LOST MY MIND ON VC#and IT WAS SO FUNNY bc i spent like 10 minutes watching that support conversation because every line of dialogue made my brain explode#AND SOMEWHERE in the middle of it my mom called me and i was like (hyperventilating) “HI MOM! DID YOU KNOW! I LIKE VIDEO GAMES!”#or something like that. i can't remember i was kind of lightheaded but anyway im kind of sad that there's no physical proof that happened#ANYWAY i fully expect that reload will make me jump and down ontop of a matress in some shape and form like idk i just like kitaro a lot#but also because purse owner games are LONG im like 'jfc that's going to be a lot of GB. i need to edit my current recordings-#so that i have enough space to accomodate for that' FDKLHLFDH. hence... wanting to work on my video projects#BUT I SO DESPERATELY WANT TO DRAW TOO.. oh the woes of being a multicreative. its ok! i like having hobbies to bounce between#they call it persona 3 reload because it reloads my brain ammo and revitalizes my creative efforts (joke)#seriously though i've been itching to doodle more p3 but im like 'what the FUCK are ideas that aren't splatoon' (this is what happens when-#you only play splatoon. your brain gets filled with SQUIDS!!!). anyway. i hope everyone's had a nice january so far!!! :D#i am always in a constant state of excitement and overload and i needed to get this out somewhere!!#BUT ALSO i want people to know that i like video editing. and that i am looking forward to making videos. while also drawing :3#i will post and share the videos i make here. whenever they're done. LOL. sorry not sorry for filling up your screen with tags <3
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reblog-house · 1 year ago
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Seasick + cold air + person who Won't Stop Trying to Talk to You When You Want to be Alone + a few more factors that go hand-in-hand with the previous ones = ... Yeah, not fun, those last moments of the trip back.
#had been sailing#it doesnt help that i just. can't stand her tone of voice. and like im sorry but i told you i wasnt feeling talkative and you said the same#when you laid on the bow next to me. and then proceeded to talk to me randomly at every point and i just wanted to be alone man#and then she started asking me when I'd go to the city tomorrow and i told her idk and she kept asking and I DONT KNOW#and she told me it's so i could go with them but I like going alone i dont want to be forced into conversations on the train#i want to go alone even more so because imma go to some dancing classes and dont know how long it'd take me and just.#well. got overwhelmed. and seasick. and she tried to reassure me touching me but DONT TOUCH ME DONT TRY TO REASSURE ME WITH WORDS EITHER#don't tell me my hands are trembling because of the cold or because of how hard i was gripping the ropes to not fall off.#because i know thats not it. dont pretend you know whats happening to me better than i do. dont you think i know how hyperventilating feels?#just. stop. please.#thankfully we docked soon after. just arrived home. been typing as i walked#they all went to the hotel theyre staying at while i walked home.#there's just some people who are a bit Too friendly for me. nothing against you in particular it's just...#i wanted to be alone and thought it was a tacit agreement that we wouldnt talk when you agreed you werent feeling talkative either#and then you had the GILLS to say to the group that we were BOTH chattering. no. YOU were chattering AT me.#and then of saying to them you were being asocial by going to the bow WHEN YOU WOULDNT STOP TALKING TO ME!! YOU WERENT BEING ASOCIAL!!!!!#anyway. i just needed to let it out. gonna take a shower now.#carime rambles
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angelicsoka · 3 months ago
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DISAPPROVAL, t. owens
word count | 1.6k
pairings | tyler owens x fem!storm chaser!reader
summary | in which javi disapproves of his sister’s relationship
warnings | contains spoilers for the movie!! mentions of death, tornadoes, and panic attacks. brother-sister fighting, slight angst. one use of ‘y/n’. not proofread. lowercase intended. 
a/n | i literally can’t stop thinking about this movie. tyler owens x javi’s sister has me in a choke hold
you had never been the type to run from your fears, not now and definitely not five years ago. you used to storm chase with kate carter and your brother, javi, as well as three other of your friends. the six of you, led by kate, had come together to see if it was really possible to reduce the intensity of a tornado. you knew that the experiment would be dangerous, but it had never fully occurred to you that you or anyone else could die. that was a mistake you swore you would never make again. 
five years had passed and you still were waking up, sweating and shaking from the horrid night where you lost three of your closest friends. you shakily tore the covers from your body, walking quietly to the bathroom so as to not wake the sleeping body still in bed. you closed the door to the bathroom before turning on the light. you turned the sink on, splashing water on your face as a sigh escaped your mouth. you gripped the sides of the sink, attempting to center yourself. “fuck.”
“babe, you in there?” you jumped when tyler knocked on the door, your breathing quickening once more. “babe?” tyler turned the door knob, pushing it up to see you slowly sliding down the wall as you began to hyperventilate. he rushed to your side, which wasn't far in the cramped bathroom. he helped you to the floor, sitting in front of you. “hey, hey, let's just sit down. just breathe with me, okay?” you nodded, following tyler in his exaggerated breathing, feeling as your heart rate began to slow down. “you’re okay, you’re safe.” you nodded, finally noticing the tears streaming down your face.
“sorry, ty, i didn’t mean to wake you.” you apologized through sniffles, wiping at your nose. 
“you didn’t wake me. plus, i just wanted to make sure you were okay.” you still felt guilty about it, about him constantly dealing with your nightmares and panic attacks. you felt guilty that you still pushed yourself to storm chase even though you are terrified of losing the ones you love most. you knew you shouldn’t push that guilt or fear away, but there was another part of you that just wanted to help people. “why don’t we go get some breakfast?” tyler helped you to your feet, the two of you trudging over to the diner across from the motel. 
breakfast had been mostly silent, tyler trying to start a conversation but you were too stuck in your head. your knee anxiously bounced as you realized you would be heading to oklahoma, and that you were more than likely to run into your brother javi. you had talked to javi a lot over the phone, but it had been at least a year since you had last seen him in person. he’d been begging you for a few weeks now to leave tyler and the wranglers behind and to join his crew and help with a new tornado scanning system. you knew javi just wanted to help people, but the people funding his projects did not have the same interests at heart. “you ready?” you looked, not hardly having touched your food, accepting tyler’s extended hand. “boone’s getting pretty antsy about leavin’. dude’s been blowing up my phone for like the last thirty minutes.” you giggled when tyler showed you his phone with nearly fifty texts from boone.
“i’m surprised he’s even up, let alone ready to hit the road.” tyler tossed an arm over your shoulders, placing a delicate kiss on your temple as you walked back to the motel.
“yeah, well, best not to keep the man waiting.” tyler went to grab your stuff from the motel room before checking out, leaving you to rig up the gps. 
“boone! you ridin’ with us?” you shouted over to boone who was talking with dexter, dani, and lily. “we’ve got a seat open for you as well, ben.” you smiled to the journalist, who thought you to be the only sane one of the group. ben smiled at you, his body language showing he was clearly uneasy. “don’t worry, the ride to oklahoma shouldn’t be too bad.”
“it's not that ride that i’m worried about.” before you could question him, boone hopped in beside him, tyler entering the driver’s seat not a moment later. 
“let’s ride!” boone whooped, tyler tearing out of the parking lot. you couldn’t seem to find it in yourself to be hyped up like your boyfriend and friend, too anxious about seeing your brother. he had already disapproved of you riding with the wranglers, you couldn’t imagine how he’d react when he found out you were dating tyler owens of all people.
at some point during the ride, you had fallen asleep only to be startled awake by boone, camera in hand as he yelled out the truck. “sorry, babe.” tyler quietly apologized to you, squeezing your hand. you squinted out the window, your stomach dropping at the sight of javi and kate, stood side by side. all the shouting and cheering seemed to be muted when your eyes locked with javi’s. even though you were nervous, the sight of your big brother brought a soft smile to your face. 
tyler put the truck in park, the crowd surrounding them. you pushed the door open, hopping down as tyler got the crowd chanting. boone was walking around, filming, while dani, lily, and dexter began to sell the merchandise. you stood off to the side, watching tyler do his thing, a smile gracing your lips. you looked around, catching kate’s eye, her eyes lighting up at the sight of her friend. she walked over to you, engulfing you in a hug before you had time to say anything. “kate! i wasn’t expecting to see you here!” you laughed, gripping kate tightly. 
“i didn’t realize you were still chasing, i thought you would at least be riding with javi.” you tensed slightly at your brother’s name, pulling back from kate’s arms. 
“uh, yeah, i’ve just decided to ride with the wranglers this season.” your tenseness didn’t go unnoticed by kate, but before she could ask you anything your attention was brought to your brother waltzing over. “javi!” your nerves dissipated when javi threw his arms around you, pulling you into a bone crushing hug.
“i’ve missed you, sis.” you let out a sigh, trying not to let the tears well in your eyes.
“i’ve missed you too, javi.” you pulled back, now seeing your crew watching you. the crowd had mostly left, and the sight of you hugging a man that wasn’t tyler had them concerned. “why don’t you come meet my crew?” you knew javi had no interest in meeting your crew, but you wanted him to see they weren’t just daredevils with a need for a thrill. “hey, guys, i want you to meet my brother, javi, and my good friend, kate!” everyone but boone and tyler had come to meet them. “javi, kate, meet dexter, lily, and dani! oh, and ben! he’s a london journalist writing a piece on american storm chasing.” you pointed to each member, getting soft ‘hellos’ and ‘nice to meet yous’. 
“nice to meet you guys!” kate smiled, javi not saying anything. you felt a pang in your heart when javi didn’t seem to take the people you considered to be some of your closest friends. 
“well, who do we have here?” you turned to see tyler and boone walking toward you, a large smile breaking out on your face. “you must be javi, and… kate, right?” kate nodded, shaking tyler’s hand.
“kate, javi, this is boone, and this is tyler owens.” tyler walked to your side, slinging an arm loosely around your shoulder while boone waved, going to put the camera back into the truck. “nice to meet you both.” he tipped his hat to the two. you watched javi closely, he practically had steam coming out his ears at the sight of tyler’s arms around your shoulder. javi had always been overprotective, and you wished he would realize you can hold your own. “we’re headin’ out in a few, ‘kay?” you nodded, tyler pressing a kiss to your temple before jogging over to boone. you looked back to javi who was red in the face, and kate who was clearly shocked.
“javi–” you started, javi pulling you to a quiet spot away from everyone else.
“really? tyler owens?” he spat out tyler’s name like it was venom. “c’mon y/n, he’s an idiot who drives into tornadoes! he doesn’t give a shit about anyone, especially those affected by said tornadoes!” tears welled in your eyes, anger bottling up. 
“oh, and you do? javi! your investors don’t give any shits about these people! they only care about the money! and you, you’re helping them by getting this data!” you wiped at the tears that spilled over, “we help people, javi! we sell the merch to pay for the supplies, and the revenue we make off the streams and videos go to families in need. we just don’t show that part on the internet.” it seemed to dawn on javi that you would have never ridden with the wranglers for as long as you had if you weren’t helping people. “tyler treats me well, and maybe you’d have seen that if you weren't so busy making assumptions about him.” you spat at him before turning on your heel, walking toward the truck, actively ignoring javi’s shouting. 
“you okay?” tyler asked, noticing your rosy cheeks. “want me to beat his ass?” you glared at him, a smile tugging at your lips. tyler was mostly all bark and no bite.
“no, he just needs time.” you reached up, kissing tyler before taking his hand in yours and walking back to the truck. javi watched as tyler opened your door and helped you in, watching tyler stare lovingly at you. and javi knew that he had fucked up.
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tiredsadpeach · 2 years ago
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Hahaha heyyyy (I almost unalived myself today)
#tw suicide#tw suicide mention#so uh after work Thursday I almost overdrafted my bank acc because I used the wrong card to get gas and my moms reaction kind snapped#something in me and I spiraled and am still spiraling so I called out Friday and today so I didn’t breakdown at work#well this morning my mom woke me up and just kinda drilled into me because my sister helped me get this job and it could look bad on her and#everyone has mental health problems but they still go to work and I have to work because they can’t always pay for me#which btw I never ever said I wanted to quit I love this job but okay!#and then she basically confirmed all my self deprecating thoughts like being a bad pet owner and not doing enough around the house etc#so that’s so cool that she also thinks that about me that made me feel amazing!!!#she said I step all over my dad and siphon money out of my sister#which my dad and I are so very similar mentally so if I am I have no idea tbh#and then the money thing is because my sister bought concert tickets for me her my dad and our cousin but I promised to pay her back in full#like I calculated it and everything but I also reminded her that she didn’t have to get them#any time my sister does something with her money that overlaps with my interests my mom thinks it’s me convincing her lol#and then she was like ‘do you have anything you want to say to me’ and I should’ve know it was a trap! but I didn’t!#so I said ‘I already know all these things and I hate myself for them I just want to be normal but I’m not’ type stuff because I’m hypervent#hyperventilating and sobbing at this point and she said ‘stop trying to manipulate me’#so now I don’t ever wanna be alone with her again#I thought she had been finally listening and understanding and changing ever since I went to the mental hospital#but obviously not because I felt like I was in school again#she finally left to take a shower and I was gonna just down my Zoloft lmao I can’t please her so why be here yknow#didn’t realize my dad was awake and he told me he contacted our therapist (we share one) and told her I might need a sooner session and then#I went back in my room because I couldn’t get to my Zoloft and he wanted to talk and stuff and I almost took my backup ones from when I was#on a lower dose but he came in and basically did damage control for my mom#but he made me feel a bit better and somehow he just Knew I was contemplating sewer slide and had me promise not to#I love my dad and he actually understands and is gentle and patient with me and I thought that was rubbing off on my mom but no!!#love knowing I’m a big disappointment to her and that I’m manipulative too#I can’t die but hopefully I can get out of here soon I can’t be near her#she even said that even if my therapist suggests calling in I just shouldn’t!!!! so cool!!!!!#love how you don’t want me to take care of myself because it could mess with my sisters reputation!!!!!
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solelifauna · 3 days ago
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GUYS THIS COMMENT FROM @silken-moons ON THE WEREWOLF AU HAS ME LOCKED IN.
silken-moons:
Wait....so what happened to Kon or Conner in this au ? Was he the one eaten since he was basically half human and kryptonian too assuming lex is human in this au too.
I am more than happy to elaborate.
Lex is a half-human half-werewolf hybrid like the reader. So Conner would be half-kryptonian and only a fourth werewolf. When Clark finds out about his existence he’s pissed (at first). Superman doesn’t hesitate before finding Luthor and melting his skull in with his laser vision. It’s quite the graphic scene, Conner unfortunately being there to witness it all.
Conner is pressed back into some crevice in Luthor's office, doing his best to calm his heart beat, stave off his on-coming panic attack, and pray that Superman won’t kill him. Clark of course finds him curled in on himself, hyperventilating, tears streaming down his teenage face.
Conner is blubbering, he thinks, trying to communicate some type of garbled “please” and “I’m sorry” and “don’t hurt me please”. Superman just critically eyes him before knocking the clone out. Now, in the beginning he was just planning on taking the clone to the Watch Tower to interrogate him and then kill him. Perhaps Jon would like the extra meat?
But after watching the clone wake up alone in one of the containment units, crying quietly to himself as he rocked back and forth, he started to feel a little bad. He thought back onto the way the clone had practically begged him for mercy through his own panic attack. He's read Lex Luthor's files on "Superboy", how this clone had no flight, was not invulnerable, and couldn't even throw out half of Clark's strength.
This clone was no threat, no, in fact he was a gift. Another Kryptonian (even if the clone was only half with human DNA in his mix). And even better, the clone boy had no ill intentions towards the JL, hell, the boy looked afraid that anyone even considered the idea. No, no, no, this boy, his boy, was so sweet.
From the way he leaned into Clarks palm when he caressed the sleeping boys face, to the way he clung to Clark and his approval like a touch starved puppy, Clark couldn't help himself. The only problem now was getting his Wife and Son on the same page. He knew werewolf customs, he knew what it meant for Conner (a name his new son had previously picked out).
It would probably be easier to convince Jon considering the poor kid's been wanting a sibling for a long time now (Jon is 8 right now, but still all the same crazy). Lois might take a bit more time, considering pack bonds and the human part of Conner. So with a heavy heart, he kisses his new baby goodnight, as he flies home for he night. Yes, its been a couple of weeks since Connors arrival and he still hasn't told his family. he plans to amend that today.
He expects growling and demands for flesh. he expects outrage from his wife, or even a calm cool collected "bring him to me". What he gets instead are demands from Lois to see Conner, her new son. Clark blinks in surprise before he's fumbling with his phone, opening up his camera role where has has a million new pictures of Conner. Lois only grabs his phone, cooing over the pictures with adoration in her eyes. Well, Clark is pleasantly surprised.
"You're not mad are you Lois?" Clark asks gently.
"Oh I'm not mad Smallville, I'm livid." She all but growls, a smile still etched on her face as she continues scrolling. "You knew about him for weeks, and didn't even bother letting me know. I had a son for weeks, and he's been by himself."
Clark winces. "I know Lois, I know. I just-I was just afraid that you wouldn't want him the way I do. That you'd rip him open, hell, even I considered it in the beginning!"
Lois looks up from his phone, a knowing smile, a soft one, on her face. "I know farm boy, I know. But its important that you remember we don't always kill and eat the weak. Sometimes, its nice to have something that you can love and take care of, something that relies on you and only you."
"is that what you have planned for Connor?"
"Of course. He's our son now, and after everything he's been through, its out job to keep him and Jon safe. Until he can prove himself capable, he's not leaving the den."
A content grin makes its way onto Clarks face. Oh how he loved his wife. "I wouldn't have it any other way Lois. I'll bring him here tomorrow. Now, lets go let our other little rascal know."
Lois smirks. "I agree. Lord knows he's been waiting to have a-"
"-I have a new brother!" Comes the familiar voice of Jon Kent, cutting his mother off in his excitement.
Clark raises his eyebrow fondly, feigning exasperation. "Did you listen in on our conversation Jonathan Samuel Lane-Kent?"
"Of course I did! Well-I didn't mean to, but I couldn't help it! You said I have a brother and I wanna see him!" Jon all but whines.
"Well honey, dad said he'd bring him home tomorrow okay."
"Really!?"
"You betcha. But Jon, you have to be gentle with him okay? He doesn't know werewolf or Kryptonian customs okay?" His dad says.
"Okay, I promise i'll be gentle." Jon swears, nodding up and down.
Lois sighs fondly. "And its important to know that he is part human, do you know what that means?"
"Mhm! It means that he's not allowed out the den or the house, and that its our job to protect him 'cause he's weak." Jon repeats from his memory.
"Good job Jon! You're going to be the best brother, I just know you are." His mom says.
Jon preens under the praise.
He can't wait to meet his new brother!
~~~~~
The next day arrives slower than anyone would have liked.
The morning sunlight filters through the sky as Clark flies Conner to him penthouse in Metropolis, cradling the boy carefully as he slumbers. Conner stirs in his arms, eyes fluttering open, a brief panic flashing in them until he meets Clark’s calm gaze.
“Where-where are we?” Conner mumbles, clutching at Clark’s shirt with a grip that feels hesitant, almost reluctant.
“We’re going home,” Clark replies, a small smile on his face. “Your new home. Your family’s waiting for you, Conner.”
Conner’s eyes widen, his mouth opening as if to protest, but the words die on his lips. His gaze shifts away, and he nods mutely, not quite daring to believe that this “family” will truly accept him. He’s felt so disposable for so long; he almost can’t imagine what it’s like to be wanted.
The penthouse doors open, and Lois stands there, her sharp gaze softening the instant she sees Conner. She steps forward, reaching out a hand in a silent invitation. Conner hesitates, clinging to Clark a little tighter, and Clark gives his shoulder a reassuring squeeze.
“It’s okay, Conner,” he murmurs. “I'm here for you.”
With a slow, tentative step, Conner reaches out, letting Lois pull him into a gentle hug. Her arms are firm around him, warm but unyielding, a silent promise of protection, though he senses the fierce strength just below the surface. She smooths his hair with surprising gentleness, her voice soft as she whispers, “Welcome home, Conner.”
Conner relaxes, allowing himself to take a deep, shuddering breath. This feels strange. He's never really had a home before. Luthor's compound was last place he felt safe, let alone a place he'd call home. And that word, that feeling-safe. He isn’t sure he's ever felt it outside Superman, sorry, his Dad's arms.
And isn't that a crazy thing, he has a Dad now. Superman, Clark Kent was his Dad.
Jon, standing just a few steps away, is practically vibrating with excitement. When Lois finally releases Conner, Jon bounds over, a wide grin on his face.
“Hi! I’m Jon, your brother!” He pauses, then adds, almost reverently, “I’ll keep you safe, I promise.”
Conner blinks in surprise, a faint blush creeping up his cheeks as he mumbles, “I-thank you, Jon.”
Lois places a hand on Jon’s shoulder, giving him a gentle squeeze. “Remember what we talked about, Jon. Conner’s still adjusting. Be patient with him.”
Jon nods enthusiastically, but there’s a possessive glint in his eyes as he looks at Conner, a silent vow to protect his new brother from anything—or anyone—that might threaten him. Conner notices this look, a strange chill running down his spine, but he says nothing.
As the day unfolds, Conner tries to settle into this new life, though it feels almost too good to be true. Lois and Clark are attentive, constantly ensuring he’s comfortable, while Jon barely leaves his side, eager to show him every corner of the penthouse, as if staking his claim. Meals are filled with warmth and laughter, and yet Conner can’t shake the feeling of being watched, almost obsessively.
That night, as Conner lies in the bed they’ve prepared for him, he hears the soft creak of footsteps outside his door. It opens quietly, and Clark steps inside, his face illuminated by the moonlight streaming in through the window. He walks over to the bed, looking down at Conner with an intense, unreadable expression.
“You’re part of this family now, Conner,” Clark says quietly, brushing a hand over Conner’s forehead in a strangely tender gesture. “Nothing will take you from us. Not anyone. You’re ours, do you understand?”
Conner nods, his throat tightening, unable to find words. Clark’s gaze softens, and he leans down, pressing a gentle kiss to Conner’s forehead before turning and leaving the room, leaving Conner alone with a flurry of conflicted feelings. For the first time in his life, he feels wanted, cherished, trapped, as though he’s become a prized possession in a family he can never escape.
But, maybe, a small voice inside him whispers, he doesn’t want to escape at all.
Well folks, here's more lore on relationships outside of the Batfam. Let me know chat, am I cooking? New chap, out soon!
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sundrlands · 19 days ago
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Your writing is so lovely! If you are still taking requests, could you write something with James Sunderland as a service top? I just can't make up my mind if he'd be a pathetic sad cat man or a out of control feral, haha.
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thank you babes, much love to you.
you know… i can see him be both. a person’s persona can fluctuate depending on how they’re feeling so i don’t think james would be a person that’d only lean one way… with that being said, ill use this as an opportunity to write nsfw headcannons for all: pathetic, service top and feral (and etc).
j. sunderland nsfw headcannons (trans/enby friendly)
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minors dni
a/n: I kind of when overboard but even still… i don’t think this is the best i could’ve done. it’s pretty noisy all around me and i wasn’t able to put much thought into this… i hadn’t event proof read it… but i hope you like it.
service top:
• he could care less if you gave him any type of touch. he just wants to be able to make you feel good. every time you’d cum, it was like an achievement for him… feeling the need to have his own orgasm untouched while using his hands or mouth on you.
• james is far too good at dirty talk. he keeps it short and sweet but even then it was enough to make your stomach dip— his gentle rasp and the diction in his words… the tone it flowed in… he’d have you melting in the bed from his ability to sweet talk you through it. he’d ask obvious questions, wanting you to tell him how good he’s making you feel, such as: “does it feel good when i touch you here?” or “you like it when i fuck you like this, hm?” he’d direct his lips onto your skin, lips or ear so you’d be able to feel every vowel vibrate against you.
• while riding, he could care less if he’d cum— though he most definitely will— he just adores the way you’d bounce on it, feeling his body stiffen as he lets you use him like a toy. he’d eye his cock, seeing how you’d leave a rim of cream all around the base of it, seeing how many times you’ve came on it with him cum too, saying: “good baby… use my dick just like that.”
• that goddamn nose of his. the little bump on the bridge of it… it’s all to be in use of you riding it. don’t let him breath… he doesn’t care for it. only have the scent of your arousal to fill his airwaves. fuck it, he wants you to, feel the protruding feature pleasure you until you’d cum on it.
him being pathetic:
• use him however you please… he wants it… so fucking badly. any part of his body, he’d like to think you owned it all— like your name was branded and embedded into his flesh. his lips… tongue, cock, hands and thighs. all of it, he wants you to take over, use him like a fuck toy.
• isn’t he just so respectful? saying yes ma’am/sir, please and thank you. you have him wrapped around your finger… whatever you want him to do, he gladly does. no matter if you slap him across the face… or on his cock, pull his hair a little tighter than the last or allow him to fuck you, he’d praise you beyond words.
• eye contact was hard… especially when you teased him and called him his favorite pet names. he’d stutter when being talked to�� not even being able to look at you in the eye without him hyperventilating and wanting you to take control of him.
• he’s a chronic humper. clothed or not, he wants to rut against you like a fucking dog, using your knee, leg or shoe to get himself off.
• you up for eating him out? he wouldn’t be able to handle it anyway. never in any of his past relationships did he have his hole played with… he never even gave himself the opportunity to do it for himself, but once you lapped your tongue against him as you instructed him to stroke himself, he was in total bliss. his moans would roar… bouncing against the walls as his hips would swivel against your mouth— crying at the feeling once your tongue slips inside… not knowing what to do with himself with this new form of pleasure.
• his cock is your cock… you own his cock and hes never been prouder to say it. he’d be such a good boy for you, not touching himself unless instructed to or without your yes. cbt is essential… fuck does he love it when you slap his balls, making him flinch on contact. each slap would make him count on your request, his voice trembling after each number he’d whine. the pained sensation only gets him closer to his orgasm, loving the way you abused his cock and balls, not afraid of a little impact play, having him puddle all over his own navel.
• he’s not one to last… hes known to cum prematurely… his ability to hold in his orgasm is low whether he holds it or not… edging only makes it even more fun knowing how quick he can break— him laying on his back, hands tied tightly with bondage rope… his cock would be lathered in lube, the lightest touch of you’d stroke him, watching his pretty face contort as he’d moan like a little puppy. as instructed, he’d announce when he’s close, his sentences not even coming out fully… toes curling… back arching… thighs tensing as well as his abdomen just so you could see the outline of him at every clench. sometimes it’d be too late, resulting in him pleading for forgiveness… chanting sorry over and over again hoping to not have disappointed you. you thought he’d need a lesson, picking up your pace until he couldn’t take it anymore… his body vigorously jolting every which way from being too sensitive… all to have him squirting all over himself, trembling like a little mutt.
him being feral:
james… james… james… at quick glance, one can only assume that he’s vanilla— just a pathetic little man who gets off to the simplicity of missionary (which is also true) and he’d need nothing else more than that… but god is this man just a fucking animal.
• his moans… as we’ve all heard the way he stomps on enemies… you can only imagine how he’d sound when he’s far into his lust… devilishly enticed, losing his goddamn mind. he’d grunt heavily and deeply, almost snarling at how good he feels— his body not even connecting with his brain and letting his body take over, fucking you harder than he’s ever had, leaving you in a blabbering mess.
• though he can’t keep eye contact while being pathetic… him being feral is a whole different story. he’d force you to look at him, wanting you to witness the dark lust that grows within his pupils. he wants to talk to you with the hazel of his eyes, not wanting one second to be wasted with you not looking at him.
• he has a big dick. let’s not lie to ourselves. just a bit over average… it being thick in girth and long. it still surprises you each time he’d take it out… even when soft. he’d stare at your lips when you talk or ate or even drank… replacing the fork you ate with with his huge cock plunging down into your throat. with feral grunts, he’d grip your head to steady itself, having his hips snap, balls slapping at your chin, loving how tight your throat is wrapped around him, saying: “i love your fucking throat.”
• his hands can’t stay in one place, ever. he needs to grip and grope your body until you stung… as if you’d disappear from him. spanks and handprints… hands wrapped around your throat. he wanted to paint your body in pain.
• fuck your clothes. he cares nothing for them. yes, he loves it each time you’d show off to him or mutual friends about what you put together— seeing you as the prettiest thing he had beside him but it only gradually becomes harder for him to not want to rip off your clothes and fuck you wherever you stood. his fingers would go within its fabric, tearing it, loving the sound as it ripped.
• you looked so pretty while sleeping… he’d coo in your ear on how precious you looked. he couldn’t help but feel his cock grow at the sight… no matter how much he told himself to calm down… he just fucking couldn’t. he’d slide your pajama bottoms and underwear down, just to fuck you slow, starting off gentle then having himself rut into you roughly with you moaning sleepily.
• while he’s bottoming, he’d snarl through his teeth, demanding you to fuck him harder, faster… abuse his hole until all he knew was your name. he’d be captivated by the way you fuck him so deeply and the sounds of your skin slapping against each other. he’d hold you close, wanting you to be one with his being, so there’d be nothing you could do but ram yourself into him.
extra hc:
for men, trans men and masculine enbys:
• he loves calling you his ‘pretty boy’, treating you like the prince that you deserve to be treated— praising you and all of your features.
• god he fucking loves your cock. he can’t wait to have his mouth all on it, slobber on it, suck on it until his spit would turn thick and bubble at the sides of his lips and all over your thighs. he’d beg, just to have you use his pretty face to get off— fingers intertwined in his hair, within his scalp… he wants it to fucking hurt. just know he loves it sloppy, targeting your balls knowing how sensitive they are, with his pretty eyes looking up through his lashes. he’d let your cock/strap fall deep into his throat… tears beading at his waterline until he could successfully have the imprint of it outlining his throat. when his nose would bump against your pubic bone… god he was in heaven, huffing the sweet smell of your crotch after a long day of work. his eyes would roll back, nearly passing out, not caring if his breathing was little to none, he wants his throat destroyed. (for ones with tdicks:) he’d flick his tongue all over it, revel in its beauty at how it would twitch and throb and grow. he’d mutter against it: “baby you’re so big…” loving how you’d flutter in his mouth after every harsh suck.
• frotting… man does he love to frot. the feeling of his cock and yours rutting against each other or fitting into one fleshlight… he wouldn’t even be able to last long but he would go on and on just to continue feeling your hot cock throb and cum against his. while laying, his body on top of yours, he’d let his hips snap, feeling the rough bounce of your cocks colliding, moaning wildly in the crook of your neck, enjoying the desperation in every hungered hump. (for ones with tdicks:) james would leak, his clear precum oozing from the head of his cock, letting it drip down onto yours, seeing the way it’d ripple down the skin of your throbbing dick, mouthing how hot it looks to make a mess on you. he’d rub himself on you, feeling your hard bud massage the sides of his shaft, your slick coating his cock until every movement you’d be able to hear from how wet it was. he loves when you’re riding him through a frot, feeling your dick drag all over him, leaving his cock glistening with rough fingers prodding at your waist.
• he doesn’t care about the size of you… that’s the last thing on his mind to care… he just wants you inside of him. he’d anticipate you… his hole puckering with excitement just to feel himself wrap around you. he’d want you to go raw, pound him until he was sore afterwards, having the ability to feel you even with the absence of your cock… pleading for you to fill him up until he leaks out once you’d pull yourself out. (for ones who uses straps:) you’d give him the pleasure of picking a strap he’d want to feel, choosing one he knows you enjoy using on him, treating the strap as if it was apart of you, moaning inaudibly as you fuck him with conviction…. his pretty cock and balls bouncing, untouched, all for your display. (for ones with tdicks:) in celebration of your growth, he encourages you to fuck him with it. when sliding yourself in… man doesn’t this boy love the pleasured look you’d have displayed on your face, finding pleasure in not just him being penetrated by you but the sight of how you’d react being inside of him. he’d feel your cock throb inside, puckering his whole for more grip, holding onto his balls, looking down at where you both connected, just to get a better view of you fucking up into him. he’s say: “you’re so big baby..” egging you on, resulting in you going faster.
for women, trans women and feminine enbys:
• aren’t you just the prettiest thing he’s laid his eyes on. there’s never a time he wouldn’t remind you of that. calling you everything in the book while stimulating your body all over— soft touches, gliding fingers. he’d treat you like a princess for hours and he wouldn’t even need to rush himself to fuck you… touching you was just enough.
• he wants you to make a mess… squirt all over him and make him drenched. his mouth is entirely too gifted. him looking the way he is… it looks pretty obvious. he’d work his mouth and fingers, knowing all the pressure points and favored spots that’ll make you scream and have your legs squeeze together. he’d take all of it, drinking your gift, having his entire face and mouth wet from you. (for trans women and/or people with amab genitalia:) all his attention would be on your pretty ‘clit’. using his hands and tongue to touch the frenulum, letting it flutter against it until your body curled up, unable to control yourself from the feeling. he’d have you cum over and over again, rolling his finger against the tip of your clit, noticing the sharp inhales and the hollowing of your abdomen until you’d squirt all over yourself, praising you: “that’s my pretty baby… let it all out.”
• he’s addicted to your pussy. any chance he’d get he’d want himself buried in between your legs, tiring out his mouth just to have the taste of you linger on his tongue. with controlled fingers, he’d penetrate them deeply, trying to find the spot he knew would drive you into insanity, not wasting a second to stimulate your clit while doing so. (for trans women and/or people with amab genitalia:) he just adores the way your clit fills his mouth. he’d swallow it, inhale it, make sure to take it all in his mouth just see your body shutter at every moment of his mouth.
visual hcs:
• him cumming from cock torture.
• james thinking about you while using his fleshlight.
• as we’ve all seen that mod — and you haven’t, i suggest you look — it got me thinking, heavily about his body type, more so the way his pubic hair would look. (if you’re not one to enjoy body hair… this is not for you) james is very hairy. yes, he shaves but not entirely too often. it’s a russet brown, running all the way up towards his navel, sprawling out on his thighs. when wearing his underwear, sometimes they’d hang lowly off his hips, his pubic hair peaking from the elastic.
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seravphs · 2 years ago
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ੈ♡˳·˖✶ — TEEN DAD! GOJO x FEM READER
When Megumi gets injured on a mission, you realize you’re not capable of taking care of a child.
wc — 1.8k
tags — misunderstandings; self doubt; the pitfalls of teenage parenting when you’re all child soldiers; mild angst with a happy ending; happens post sometimes a family is you, teen dad Gojo, and the six year old child he accidentally orphaned, part I of teen dad gojoverse, in which you and Gojo raise Megumi together. 
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You shove Megumi into his arms, a bundle of bloody black fabric and dead weight. Gojo doesn’t stumble - he never does - but it’s a close call as he instinctively wraps his arms around whatever you’ve pushed onto him. 
“Teleport! Teleport!” You’re so frantic you’re incoherent. It takes a full minute, a minute you don’t have, before you realize that you can’t just say things. Gojo, as invincible as he is, can’t read your mind. You have to explain what’s going on, but how can you focus when Megumi is bleeding out? His little face is growing paler and paler by the second. 
His hands are so tiny. Why is that the only thing you can focus on? They’re grasping the front of Gojo’s jacket for dear life as he coughs weakly. 
“Teleport him back to HQ! Get Shoko!” 
You resist the urge to shake Gojo by his lapels, slap some sense into him. It would only hurt Megumi. Why won’t he move?
“I can’t!”
“What do you mean you can’t? Go! He’s losing so much blood, you have to go now!” 
You know you’re getting hysterical, but Megumi is dying right in front of you. 
“I can’t teleport! There are conditions-“ 
“He’s going to die!” 
“Stop- I need to think!” 
In the back of your head, you can hear Shoko telling you in that cool and detached tone of hers that you’re hyperventilating. 
Look, she says, you see that? You’re breathing too quickly. You feel lightheaded, right? 
Gojo spreads his jacket out on the ground of the forest. “Help me get him ready. I’m going to sew up the cut.” 
“Let me-“ 
“I’ll do it. I’ve done Getou’s before. You just focus on keeping him breathing.” 
You can do that. 
Hunched over Megumi’s body, Gojo gets to work. He looks so frail, spread on the grass with only Gojo’s jacket beneath him. His eyes are normally dark, but they’re blacker with pain, his pupils swallowing up his irises. 
The first puncture of the needle makes him wail before he slaps his hand over his mouth. You peel it back and make vaguely soothing noises, trying to be comforting. 
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” you murmur, letting him rest his head in your lap.
“You can scream, Megumi. I know it hurts. Oh, honey, I know. I know.” He’s making this face that agonizes you. His nose is all scrunched up as he clenches his jaw. He’s the type of kid that would rather chew up his suffering and swallow it back down then let anyone see it. 
This happened on your watch. 
Sick self hatred rises in your throat. 
Gojo would’ve never let anything happen to Megumi. 
He whimpers quietly and you flinch. Without even thinking of it, you reach for his hand. You force yourself not to tremble. You’re an adult. It’s your responsibility not to scare him like that. 
His eyes are closed as Gojo grimly works the needle through, but there’s a jump in his frantic heartbeat, as tiny as a rabbit’s. You can detect it through the pulsing vein in his wrist, funneling blood to the injury only to waste it on air. 
He’s such a brave kid - your brave little boy. You smooth his sticky wet hair back from his face, damp with sweat. He moans in pain and twists away. Your heart crumples. 
It takes so much for him to be vocal about anything that hurts him. How much pain must he be in?
“Gojo,” you say. 
“I’m trying!” 
You know. Going any faster is likely to have dangerous consequences. This is the only way. How cruel. You have to hurt him to help him, and isn’t that just the story of your parenthood? 
You curl around him, protective as if your body can shield him from his own body working against itself. The more blood he loses, the harder his body fights to keep him alive. 
It’s an infinitely long minute before Gojo proclaims the grim deed finished. Megumi had passed out long beforehand, his death grip on your fingers slackening as the pain pushed him into nothingness. 
He wakes up on the long drive back to campus. Ijichi has never bent so many speeding limits in his life. Normally a careful driver, he shoots furtive looks at the kid staining his back seats red. You can feel his judgment of what kind of parent you are settling over you. 
Shoko must be thinking the same thing as she patches Megumi up in your kitchen. Her reverse cursed technique seals the cut up in seconds flat, though a scar remains, puckering the flesh of his forearm. 
“Just like Utahime,” Gojo tells him, pinching his cheek. “You didn’t cry either, so you’re better than her.” 
“Don’t talk about your seniors like that,” you say absentmindedly, though your mind could not be further from disciplining Gojo for his poor behavior. 
You can’t send Megumi to the Zenins. You know what they’d do to a sweet kid like him. They’d turn him into a monster like his father. You shudder, thinking of the creature from your nightmares who had stolen the life of a sixteen year old girl, and nearly taken Gojo with him. You could never let them do that to Megumi. They probably wouldn’t take care of Tsumiki either, unless to hold her over his head. But just because they aren’t fit caretakers doesn’t mean you are. 
“Hey.”
“Hey.” 
“Hey.” 
Gojo’s been trying to get your attention for who knows how long. When he sees that he finally has it, he sends Megumi off to bed and jerks his thumb at the door. Wordlessly, you follow him to the porch. It’s dimly lit from a singular overhead bulb without a covering. The two of you stand in a circle of light, the night outside pressing in against the walls of your home. 
“What is it?” He says impatiently. “I fixed everything, didn’t I? Why are you still upset?” 
“It’s not you,” you say. It’s so cliche, but what else is there to say? “It’s my fault.” 
“Don’t,” he says softly. 
You pull your hand back when he tries to take it. There’s a perverse sense of satisfaction in denying both of you what you want. You don’t deserve this. 
He’s silent for a long time. You let the silence stew, determined to outlast him. Quickly, it becomes clear who has the upper hand. You shift from side to side, nervous and tense, while he just waits with his hands shoved in his pockets. When you finally look over, he’s wearing his sunglasses again. His hair glows under the porch light, attracting moths. “Finally felt like playing nice?” 
He’s attractive when he’s mean. You hate that about him, the way the cruel twist of his mouth ties knots into your stomach. It would all be easier if you could hate him, but everything he does only makes you love him more. 
What a twisted little family you’ve built for yourself. 
He sighs. “Stop that. Don’t-“ he waves his hand in your general direction in frustration. “You always do that. It’s not your fault.” 
“He needs a real parent, Gojo. I couldn’t protect him.” 
“I was there too,” he says. “You don’t see me agonizing over my mistakes. It happens.” 
What mistake, you think bitterly. Gojo’s only fault is trusting you with Megumi. He’s the strongest. If it was him, nothing would’ve happened. 
“It wasn’t your mistake. It was mine. If I hadn’t been there, everything would have been fine.” 
“Again?” Gojo says quietly. 
It’s a forceful reminder of how much you sound like Getou right now. He never recovered from what that monster - Megumi’s father - did to him. Even now, your class lives with the scars of that day. Gojo’s face is wistful for a brief moment, deluged by memories. Then it’s gone, wiped from his expression like it had never been there. 
“I didn’t mean it like that,” you say, wondering if it’s too late to take it back.  
Gojo never falters. He’s unreasonable and childish, but he’s as solid as stone. You’ve watched him shoulder every single burden he’s ever been asked to carry since he was a child, and now he’s taken on one more. You promised Gojo that you would watch his back, regardless of whether he needed you or not. The words you spoke in a fit of anger and self pity bring you regret now. Weakness isn’t just failing to shield Megumi from all the dangers of sorcery that you wish you and Gojo had been protected from. Weakness is running away when it gets hard. 
Megumi’s your baby. 
You’re not going to give him up. 
A step forward has you pressing into Gojo’s space. He doesn’t yield, watching you with those ancient eyes. 
“I know it’ll only get harder, but it has to be us, right? Who else will keep him safe from the Zenins? I won’t leave, Gojo. I promise.” 
His relieved expression contrasts with his smug words. There’s a crooked smile on his face when he says, “I knew you wouldn’t just abandon us. You think Megumi wants to stay with me? You’re the one keeping him here.” 
“I get it,” you smack his arm. “No need for flattery. I’m with you until the end.” 
“I’m not kidding,” he protests. “There’s no universe in which Megumi likes me more than you.” 
How can you stay upset when he looks so proud of himself for finally figuring out the right thing to say to get you to stay? 
“He doesn’t,” you insist. 
Gojo rolls his eyes. “Don’t lie to me. Here, I’ll prove it.” 
It’s not uncommon for Gojo to put Megumi to bed. In fact, it’s a chore he fights you for. It’s probably one of his favorite parts of having Megumi around. He likes telling stories, and surprisingly enough, he’s good at it. He gives each character its own voice. More often than not, he ends up as invested in the bedtime story as Megumi is. Tonight, when he closes the book, he doesn’t leave. The soft light of the lamp on the bedside table shines through a crack in the door as Gojo and Megumi talk in hushed whispers. 
“I want my mom,” he says quietly. 
You lean against the door, pressing your head to the wood to try to keep yourself from falling to the ground. You want to try. You want to be there for him. But Megumi needs his mother, not some teenager who can’t even take control of her own life, much less a child’s. You’re all he has, though, and you have to make it work. You wish Mrs. Fushiguro was still alive, even if that means you would’ve never gotten to meet him. 
“Then ask her to come in,” Gojo says. 
Megumi makes a startled noise. You can almost see him burrowing into his blankets. 
“Go on,” Gojo coaxes. “Oh, come on. Don’t be shy now. You really won’t? Fine.” 
He calls to you. “Come in, sweetheart. Don’t keep us waiting.” 
The first thing you see when you open the door is Megumi’s head buried beneath the covers. Gojo’s trying to peel the sheets back. 
“What are you hiding for? I brought you your mom! You should be thanking me!”
“I hate you!” 
“I told you,” Gojo says. “He loves you more than me.”
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andersonfilms · 6 months ago
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❝ THE NIGHT WE MET ❞ ✶ ABBY ANDERSON !
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it's here! the first installment of a series i've had the pleasure of creating with emi. thank you to my muse, the wonderfully brilliant @abbyscherry. we've put our blood, tears, and all of our queerness into this. happy to post and get this out there. in the future, there will be many parts to follow! enjoy <3
tags. eighteen+, nsfw themes, sexual innudenos, masc!reader.
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it’s typical. the basement fills with smoke in the air, nearly anyone is on something. the anxious feeling ties in her stomach, lacing a hint of restlessness in her nerves, making her more sick than she needed to be. too much, too fucking much. a moment needed to find her own heartbeat. she allows the smell of weed to fill her lungs when she steps in. she personally doesn’t really know anyone. 
except you. she’s too nervous to make any type of introduction. you’re not really friends. no. abby just knows of them and she’s almost positive you don’t know of her. these type of parties always occur on friday night in the warmth of spring? never white of her radar. 
but even she has to admit, it seems nice. 
everyone’s smoking, chilling, having a good time and abby comes down there for a hit but everyone is occupying any space to sit. anxiety wraps around her neck, an unsettling feeling, so she decides to head elsewhere until she hears an unfamiliar voice. their voice extends to her like sweet honey she’s dying to taste. “abby, do you wanna hit?” abby nearly starts hyperventilating because you know her name. she nods “i, um, i was just doing to head upstairs. nowhere to sit.” abby shrugs nonchalantly. “if you want to take me up on it, my thighs are available for you, baby.” 
fucking crimson red. abby knows her cheeks resemble the color. she’s done for. one conversation and she’s practically on the floor. you take another hit, the smoke filtering out of your irresistible lips into the foggy air. you slouch further as you open your thighs even more, abby’s gaze flickers to your crotch before meeting your eyes once again. she’s never seen anyone smirk so proudly. you’ve got her right where you want her, hardly having to move an inch to catch anyone’s attention. abby isn’t any different. 
“‘m too big. it’s fine, i’ll just go back up.” you’re frowning. eyebrows raised as if it’s a challenge. 
“well, maybe for some of the other girls who like to hang around with you,” abby’s confused. have you been watching her? oh god. “but certainly not for me. so, why don’t you be a good girl and take a seat.”
with caution, slowly, she’s making her way over to you. each sends a shiver up her spine. what the actual fuck are you doing to her? taking another hit from your blunt as your eyes never leave her. watching as she adorably walks up to you. when she’s close enough, standing right in front of you, you’re whispering softly and only she can hear “sit down on my lap, pretty girl. i got you.” the second she does, it’s heaven on earth. 
“are you sure i’m not too…heavy?” abby questions. she’s always been quite conscious of her size. tall, built, but you don’t seem to mind. “light as a feather, babygirl.” passing for a moment you ask her if she wants a hit. her eyebrows burrow at the small, the rolled blunt in your hands. “just weed baby, but don’t feel pressured.” abby nods in acceptance. you reassure her as you slide one of your huge hands on abby’s thigh, rubbing slowly as the other becomes occupied by holding the blunt up to her lips, and asking every few seconds if she was okay, and if she wants to keep smoking more or stop. 
abby’s hair is down, but it’s in the way of seeing her freckled face so you whisper in abby’s ear “baby, is it okay if i move your hair to the side? wanna see your pretty face when i talk to you.”  abby fumbles over her words like a lovestruck idiot. “yeah, um, you can move it.” she feels their fingertips graze her neck as her blonde locks are pushed to the side. she whines at the loss of your lips pressed against her ear, but oc isn’t going to comment on it. yet. “so much better, baby. now i can appreciate just how beautiful you are.”
abby’s noticing all the glances thrown your way the longer she sits practically on you and gets a sudden confidence boost and leans back into your chest— your hard, defined chest, that she can feel, and her cheeks redden if that’s even possible when you’re arm is tightening around her waist, holding her protectively as your eyes harden, glaring at everyone staring. “want another?” you mumbled, lips grazing the shell of her ear, the hotness of your breath sending shivers down her spine. 
“m’okay for now” she smiled shyly, fingers reaching out to fumble with the ones you had around her, playing with them for a few seconds before looking around, the buzz of smoking going to her head a little. “s’cool”
“hm?” you’re chuckling, moving your head at a better angle to see her. “what’s cool, pretty girl?”
“my head’s fuzzy” abby giggled, eyes fluttering closed as she slumped her head back against your shoulder. “s’good though. feels good. i like it” she smiled.
“yeah?” you chuckled against her ear, hand creeping up her shirt and you rubbed her skin gently. slowly. comfortingly. “s’that good, pretty girl? you want anymore or are you done?”
“don’t think i can handle anymore” she mumbled, tired all of a sudden. 
“s’okay” you smiled, leaning back, her body following and getting more comfortable. her cheeks are flushed again, glad she’s facing away from you so you can’t see how flustered she really is over your touches and words. “want me to get you a drink? beer? water—”
abby lifts her head and her blue eyes sparkle when she’s turning around in your lap to look at you, giving you a good view of her crimson cheeks and you can’t help but smirk down at her. “no, m’comfortable” she pouted.
“s’good, don’t want you to be uncomfortable” you’re talking to her, and abby swears she’s trying to pay attention to what you’re saying, but she’s more focused on your voice itself. At how raspy yet soft it is. how gentle it sounds against her ear. almost whining at the subtle touch of you pushing her hair to the side again, fingertips ghostly brushing against the skin of her neck. sending shivers down her spine. 
she hates the way she can’t control the little sound she let’s out when your nose runs up and down on the side of her neck, smiling smugly against her like you already know what you’re doing to her. “wanna do something?”
her eyebrows furrow, lips forming into a pout as she turns her head to look at you. “do what?”
abby’s cunt clenches around nothing when your face is suddenly so much closer to hers, a smirk forming on your lips at her confusion. “body shots” 
“b-body shots?” she’s stammering, unsure if you’re being serious or not. “with you?”
licking your lips, you finish smoking and chuckle at her, the smoke cloud showing just enough of your face for her to see. “yeah, baby. body shots, with me” 
“now?” 
her face flushes even more red, if that was possible when you chuckled, but nodded nonetheless. “yes now, if you want to, the choice is all yours but i’d like to”
why was she nervous all over again? was it the way you were looking at her? was it the way you were smiling, tucking strands of hair behind her ear? or the way your breath fanned against her lips and it made her want to suddenly to kiss you? it could be any of those reasons, or all.
“um—” she giggled, twirling a strand of her hair around her finger, and nodded shyly at you. “yes, please”
with a pat on her side from your hand, abby stumbled off your lap, almost falling over her own feet in the process and couldn’t help but laugh loudly when you’re reaching out, wrapping your arm around her waist that she giggles uncontrollably into your chest. “m’sorry” she manages to get out amongst her small giggle fit.
her giggle had you laughing, holding her tightly in your arms. “are you okay?” you choked out, a few tears ran down your face as you slipped your hand up her shirt, and rubbed her back slowly. helping her calm down in a way you somehow knew would work. “you wanna get some air before?”
“no. i wanna do it with you”
“oh?” you smirked, chuckling under your breath.
“what? no! n-not like that!” abby shook her head with another stammer that made you laugh, lifting her head up, and blinking repeatedly under the lights. “wait that came out mean, i didn’t mean—”
“pretty girl, relax, s’okay”
abby felt her confidence grow as she walked away from the large crowd. your hand resting protectively on her lower back, making sure no one gets too close to her, and your eyes darted around, wanting her to have the best night possible and no get randomly bombarded with other people. 
she chose you to spend her night with. 
you weren’t going to let anyone ruin it. 
interlocking your fingers with hers, you cocked your head to the side, eyeing up the few that were in the kitchen. drinking and giggling away, probably high out their mind and not really sure what was going on anymore. too high to give a shit that you were both standing there, waiting for them to leave. which made a smirk appear on your lips when abby’s giggling again behind you, trying her hardest to stifle the sounds upon your sudden cough, a small hint for them to get out. “thank you” you bowed sarcastically as their quickly rushing out the kitchen, still laughing to themselves. “let’s get this party started, yeah, pretty girl?” you’re grinning, wiggling your eyebrows at her. 
wearing nothing but a white button down, no bra, cleavage on show with the three buttons undone minutes later. laying down on the countertop, abby’s sprinkling salt along their sternum. you smirk at her shaky hand. “you alright babygirl?” your raspy down flooding to her slippery cunt, as if every bone in her body wasn’t already nervous enough. she pauses as she grabs the lime on the countertop, placing it by the shot of tequila. 
mhm….you can’t just let this slide. the pretty girl you met tonight is just so shy, you feel your clit pulsating. the weed from earlier making your head feel lighter at the thought of her tongue licking your body. your tattooed hand with fingers decorated with rings grips her chin forcing abby’s gaze down to you. 
“grab the lime and shove it my mouth. want you to pull it out of mine with yours. how does that sound, babygirl? wanna feel my lips some more?” your drop your hand, letting it drop between her tits, until it reaches the waistband of her jeans. digging your fingers in, letting your skin kiss the skin of the v-line exposed. you pull her towards you even more forcing abby to bend over. her face impossibly close to yours. “be a good girl and stuff my mouth, angel. i’ll return the favor later…if you want.”
pale skin floods with crimson, she bites her lip, unable to say a damn thing. what the fuck is she supposed to say to this? with all her might, she stifles the giggle begging to be released, concentrating on the task at hand. the simple one you’re making incredibly difficult.
“i made it so easy for you. kicked everyone out, jus’ you and me, but you if you don’t want to do this, all you have to do is say the word. i’ll only get my feelings hurt a little bit.” you offer a small smile as abby lets her eyes drift to the salt perfectly laid across your sternum, fuck, you shouldn’t look this good. 
“i do—” abby pauses, collecting her next thoughts together before speaking. “i just, i’ve never done a body shot and you’re um very…” 
“what babygirl? i’m very what?” you’re eating it up now. practically getting off in the way abby fumbles with her words. grasping at straws as you watch her gawk at your toned chest. “stop.” the pretty blonde pouts. 
“you know you’re so—” god, why can’t she just fucking say it? “s’just a lot. you make me nervous. i kept getting looks. especially from the the girl in the white cropped top with your name on it.” 
“if you have something to ask, i’m all ears.” she’s cute, god. not even yours and she’s already jealous. it should turn you off, but it’s the most adorable thing in the world. plus, she’s being so sweet about it too. the itch for a taste if her only increases. “are you single?” you simply nod, letting the words soak in, gauging her reaction. 
“have been for months. just some don’t like getting left behind s’all. everyone with eyes can see i’m taking interest in someone new. i don’t let just anyone sit on me.” your hand grabbing onto her hip, thumb rubbing softly over the bone. “c’mon baby. i know you’re shy but don’t you wanna use me?”
she’s quite for a moment and it’s clear you have to take the lead. as much as the blonde is a bundle of joy, she’s an even brighter ball of shyness. either way, you’re itching to satisfy the craving. 
“do you want me to tell you what to do?” abby perks up at the question, desire pooling in the pit of her stomach. all of this, from the very beginning of her night with you, is completely new. with the roles reversed she feels backed into a corner. for the first time, she knows it can feel good like this. 
abby nods, but it’s not enough. “no babygirl, need to hear you say it. tell me you want to.” even in your haze, you wanted to make sure she was good with everything. abby’s heart doubles over, her heartbeat unable to rest. 
“i do, um, want to.” abby mumbles, scratching the back of her neck, a hint of smile hidden beneath her pink lips, swollen from all the insistent biting. “mhm, alright then. let me talk you through it, yeah?” 
oh. 
“first, you’re gonna lick the salt lined up on my chest. then take the shot like a good girl. and i’m going to put this lime in my mouth and you're going to take it out and get a taste.” you reach for the lime, sinking your teeth into the wedge, giving her a small nod telling her you’re ready. 
now or never, abby supposes. 
for far longer than necessary, she stares at your chest as if she’s inspecting each speckle of salt. the tattoo along your sternum doesn’t really calm any, only heightens them. painfully so, you’re patient. waiting for her to make the first move. 
her grip extended as she bends over, each arm on either side of you. giving her some room operate. the last thing she wants is to be awkward about it even if she feels she already has been. her head leans down, abby’s hair tickling your skin as she looks at you, blue eyes entranced as she flattens her tongue on your skin, licking one bold. 
you’re looking down at her in awe. truly, you half expected her to chicken out but she didn’t. welcoming the salty taste in her mouth, she looks at you with half-lidded eyes, tongue smoothing her lips as if she’s expecting there to be more of you. pushing herself off slightly, she takes the shot of tequila. 
she nearly gags on the burn in invading her throat. not one for drinking typically, and if she does it’s certainly not straight liquor. you find the innocence inviting. abby’s crimson cheeks flaring up in embarrassment, shaking her head violently as she tried to disguise her feelings, making you giggle. 
abby rolls her eyes playfully as she leans over once again, wet lips barely touch your own, before the lime is brought into her mouth, sucking on until the sour acid overflows and drips down her chin and onto your chest. 
but abby doesn’t think about what she will do next. suddenly, it’s a reflex. her tongue is licking up the excess of liquid on your chest, cleaning up the mess she made. a quiet whisper of abs, is let out as you feel her wet tongue. you want to laugh. you almost do, until she’s licking her way up to your neck, kissing your jaw softly before pulling off your body. 
“someone really wants a taste of me.” you tease, watching her blush but the need doesn’t fade. lost in the red of her gaze causing her to nibble on her lips.  you sit up with ease, now eye level with her. “you’re way too high tonight, feel like it’s my fault. i think i’m a bad influence.” you cradle her pretty face in your palm, thumb caressing her soft jaw. 
“was it too much?” abby questions, eyes pleading with acceptance. “no, not at all. if anything, just made me want more.” you talk a beat to look at her. it’s a privilege, getting to witness her up close, wide-eyed as she tries to figure you out. she won’t. not yet at least, not until you let her.  
“next time i can make it too much for you, if that’s what you like.” you tilt your head to the side. “not everyone likes it like that, but some girls do. i’m willing to bet you do.” your fingers reached up to her nose, following down the bridge and the bump in her nose. “you just give me a call and let me know, babygirl. alright?” 
“i don’t—” she paused, suddenly interested in the dribble of lime on your lip, and she can barely stop herself, again, when she’s using the pad of her thumb to wipe it away. the action quickly had you looking at her with wide eyes. not expecting her to do something so bold when the most of the night she’s been too shy to even look at you. but this makes you laugh, and flick your tongue out and catches her thumb. grinning at her abrupt squeak.
“you don’t what, babygirl?”
“have your number” she breathes out, almost breathlessly. her body tingling at the feeling of just your tongue against a part of her body. even if it was just her fucking thumb. it was something. “so i can’t, you know, call you”
nervous and shy abby was one you needed to meet again.
“do you want it?” you’ve got that stupid fucking smirk on your face again. a smirk that abby wasn’t sure if she wanted to kiss it off you or smack it off your handsome face. either way, she’s nodding shyly and absentmindedly fumbling with the ring on your thumb. oblivious to your smile at her nervous habit. “words, use them, yeah?”
abby pouts, hating or loving, she hasn’t really decided yet, on how you can make her do things that she wouldn’t normally do. especially shutting her up by using certain words. you cocked your head to the side when she’s nodding again, lips parted before her baby blue eyes connect with yours. “yes” she clears her throat, “i would like your number”
“and i’d like yours so find me a pen, pretty girl” 
moving away from you, abby missed the sudden safeness you gave her. tonight was the only conversation she had with you, but she already felt safe. the comfort of just your hand on her lower back, she missed. “does this house even have a pen? i don’t even see a trash can anywhere” she grumbled, pushing her hair over to her other shoulder. the action not going missed by you.
“pretty girl, are you good?”
“no” she sighed, rummaging around in several of the draws, opening the cabinets, and finding no pen in sight. rolling her eyes dramatically as she slams shut the final draw again. admitting sudden defeat to an inanimate object. really mature abs.
you cleared your throat, eyebrow raising when abby turns around, looking at you like she just got caught stealing something from one of her friends to find you smirking, your right hand in the air, holding a pen. “if you spent less time being bratty, you would be able to find a pen” you chuckled, shaking your head. 
abby makes her way back towards you, slightly more confident once she’s in reach to steal the pen from you before you had chance to do anything, and holds it with a grin. “m’not a brat” she mumbled, tilting her head to the side in thought.
“sure you aren’t. what are you doing?”
“m’trying to think where i wanna put my number”
“on me?”
“on you” she nodded, tutting under her breath and trailing her finger up your chest. giggling when you’re sucking in a deep breath “can i put it here?” she asked softly, those eyes locking with yours again.
“uh huh” you nodded, sinking your teeth into your bottom lip. “you can put it wherever you want, pretty girl. as long as i walk out of this house with your number, then m’fine with it”
abby didn’t need to be told twice. placing her free hand on your other arm, using the other than was holding the pen to slowly, teasingly you thought, to write her number on your skin. the coldness of the tip of the pen had you sucking in another breath, her fingertips brushing against you had goosebumps rising on your skin afterwards. “there” she smiled, leaning back slightly and passing you the pen. “done”
shakily taking the pen from her, you laughed a little breathlessly and shook your head. “where do you want my number?”
“wherever you want” she’s using your words against you and it makes you laugh once more. 
a shiver runs down abby’s spine when you’re picking up her arm in your hand gently, stroking her skin with your thumb slowly and leaning a little closer, into her space, to press the pen, and ink against her arm. your breath tinkling her as you write each number slower than she wrote hers. teasing her back, aware of how much you’ve already got an affect on her. 
a crimson blush coats her cheeks when you’re pressing your lips right at the end, gasping softly when you bite down on her skin gently. “think that’ll be a good reminder of me until we meet again, sweetheart?” you asked, voice slightly deeper than it has been all night. 
she nodded dumbly with a shy smile. “yes” came her quiet reply. 
her eyes widen when you practically jump off the counter and wrap your arm around her waist, tugging her into your chest. her lips parting when you press yours against the corner of her mouth, and you can’t help but smirk when you’re stepping away from her, no longer in her space, a space she refused to let others into, but loved you being that close and pouted. “i look forward to seeing you again real soon, yeah, pretty girl?”
she’s watching you stumble out the kitchen like a lost puppy. heart thumping in her chest and music ringing through her ears when you turn your head a final time and blow her a fucking kiss. how is she going to go on about her day when you’re already the only thing in her head?
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hope all my masc gays feel feed ... hehe <3
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yanderefarm · 13 days ago
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XD so im kinda a dummy and when i sent the tattoo ask, what i typed is different than what i was thinking, which is how would noemie act if we got the same tattoos he already has
THAT'S SO FUNNY the one time i make a mistake that's not just me losing the plot or being unable to read and it's the only time the person comes back and corrects me too that's so funny to me.
here u go some proper simpage
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if there's one thing you can say about noemie it's that his tattoos are pretty cool. you asked if they had any significance but no they were just patterns he used to doodle in highschool. just because they had no meaning when he got them didn't mean it stayed that way, they're a pretty identifiable feature after all. the tattoos became part of the legend. the cannibal butcher of the abandoned slaughter house now had a slit mouth, neck stitches, and satanic markings on his arms. also weirdly a really fat ass but you're choosing to ignore that rumor. you decided that you would lean into the other rumors though, make his markings look like part of your brand so he would just look like the innocent fanboy.
you expected him to be happy, you expected him to be excited. you didn't expect him to start hyperventilating. he gripped his chest while he tried to catch his breath. you gently wrapped an arm around his waist.
"breathe. use your words."
"youyouyou YOU LOOK LIKE ME!! your arms!! your neck!! your mouth!!" his fingers run over your lips. "oh my god your mouth. you look so sexy i want to watch you eat meat and rip it apart with your canines. i wish you would bite and rip off my fingers right now." his fingers slid down to your neck. "your neck is so sexy i want to kiss it." he grabbed your arms that were wrapped around him, massaging your forearm. "your arms fuck fuck your beautiful arms are touching me you're touching me. you're marked in my pattern. you're marked like you're mine and you're holding me..."
his knees went completely weak and he fell into your chest, drooling. god help you if he finds out you did this to protect him.
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lookforsomeoneelse · 2 months ago
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i don’t want to set the world on fire… (prologue)
been reading through old imposter au sagaus, and found inspo to get off my butt and start typing…
anyway tw for your standard imposter au stuff like persecution, violence, and cussing
also you might be a trans allegory? idk what that means but i think i can infer
Imagine waking up in a body that is not your own.
It freaks you out; the first couple of days after the sudden shift, but you gather enough information to piece together the puzzle of where you are.
You’re in Genshin Impact, a game you just played to kill time.
Things are different here, you soon find out, as evident of the statues strewn about your new residence.
Your “family” and “friends” worry about you for a while, as you get set in your new life.
It’s disorienting, but after a while you eventually manage to find stable ground to stand on for your new life.
The tides of life remain calm for what seems like a moment after that, before everything you thought you knew about this world comes crumbling down.
Rumors of an imposter who takes up “Their Grace’s” face begin to pop up.
It scares you, the way that everybody takes up arms and begins a manhunt for this person who, to you, hadn’t done anything at all.
As one of your neighbors shoves a pitchfork into your hands, you quickly stammer out an excuse about thieves coming and robbing houses if they all go, and you also offer to stand and look out for whoever the hell they’re trying to kill.
They buy it.
Only six hours have passed since that interaction, and you hear the shuffling of… something.
Opening the door to your humble abode, you find a person covered in blood and rags, bones broken and cuts all over their damaged body.
Your gazes interlock, and their eyes widen at the sight of you. One step, two steps, three steps back. They turn and begin to run, before their legs give in to their fatigue and they trip.
You approach them as one would a wounded animal, which is probably what they’ve been treated like. You’ve already put two and two together.
This is the so-called “imposter” that everyone’s looking for.
They let out a couple of whimpers, and they’re hyperventilating. They shuffle away from you on all fours.
When your shadow inevitably casts over their crawling figure, they turn and begin to earnestly plead. You can only feel pity in your heart as they do so.
“PLEASE,” They cry out, “DON’T-DON’T COME ANY CLOSER!” Their eyes begin to water. They look so scared, you think to yourself.
“please. just leave me alone…” They cover themselves up with their arms, hoping to alleviate at least some of the pain that comes their way.
When they realize that the pain doesn’t come, they come out of their shell slowly to face you.
In a random act of kindness, you decide to take them in, despite everyone else’s differing opinion on what you should do with or to them.
“Don’t worry,” you assure them, “I’m not going to hurt you.” You extend a hand out. “Can you stand?”
Wiping off tears of joy in their eyes, they take your hand and use your grip to pull themselves up. However, once they let go, they stumble to the ground, forcing you to pick them up and help to carry them.
“I don’t think we have time for names. But, I’ll try to at least feed you and give you some spare clothes.”
“O-ok….”
Once you make it to your residence, you sit them down and bring over a bowl of freshly heated potato soup. They devour it with fierce voracity, evident of how they’ve been mistreated. You also look around for anything that looks like it’ll fit and give it to them.
It’s a perfect match.
For the next about two months, life was pretty easygoing for the two of you. You hide them in a supply closet in your home when anyone would show up at the front door.
But they decide that it’s time for them to go. With a smile and a wave, you send them off on their journey, making sure that they have all their necessities on them.
Shortly after, another rumor- completely different from the one before it- spreads like a great wildfire.
The “imposter,” the one you had taken in and cared for, was actually the true creator all this time.
They’ve made a big speech about how they would destroy all of Teyvat for its sins against its creator, but they declare that they will not do this thanks to the sympathy and kindness of a certain individual.
That “certain individual?”
that’s you.
___________________________
WOOO IM BACK BABBBBYYYYY
anyway if yall wanna use this idea go ahead
I don’t get paid for this and you probably don’t either so go crazy with it
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fictionalslvr · 1 year ago
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Part two part three
SYNOPSIS:Ghost is your new neighbor in your apartment complex, everyone is afraid of him, but not you. You're the only one to be kind with him.
PAIRING: (Based of comic but that's not 100% canon) Simon Riley neighbor x F¡Reader
WORD COUNT:3.500k
WARNINGS: Fluffy, angst, mentions of blood, war, s.a (not directly) etc.
NOTES:Ghost past is based on his comics, i'll prob make this one a mini serie (if you guys like), a lot different then what i usually write for, but i hope you guys enjoy without being what you guys are used on this blog, i'm planning to write both, angst and smut, even mix them sometimes. So, i hope you guys enjoy :(
(And again, tell me if there's something wrong, english is not my first language.)
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It’s been a long while since you lived alone, and it’s been a very comfortable life since then. At first, it made you feel uneasy, after a long while, you were getting used to it, and having a place to call yours it’s everything you wanted before. Your apartment is cozy, organized with things you like, and you always try your best to keep it clean. The neighborhood is quite calm as well, you were living peacefully in this apartment complex.
That was until a new neighbor came in. He was a tall guy, he had a mysterious aura around him, it’s the quiet type and you don’t hear him speaking so often, actually, you never heard. To be honest, he doesn’t stay in his apartment too much, it’s the one above you, and hearing him it’s unusual. Maybe it is his work that keeps him so far for too long, you can’t say exactly what he works with, since you don’t know him properly. The only thing you know is that he keeps his face a mystery, always walking with a black balaclava that shows only his eyes, and this is a mystery you were dying to get to know. One day, while walking back to your humble home, you took the same elevator as the new neighbor, the silence that creeps out is weird, and you keep your eyes everywhere, but not on him. The silence was bizarre, and it seemed like it was going to take forever! When the elevator door opens in your floor, you can only rushes out of that tiny place with that man, that almost make you hyperventilate.
He looked calm during it, laying his back in the walls while his arms were crossed and he was looking distracted. With a quick but gentle movement, you just nod your head to him when leaves, he looks surprised by it, and nods back after some seconds staring at you. The metal door closes slowly, showing no more his figure.
But your encounters with him were always like this. Some head nods and sometimes a smile from your part, But the mystery this man is, no one knows him well enough for a talk, and this was making you insane, All days, you caught yourself thinking about him, how his voice sounded like, how his face is behind that mask, what he works with, what is his name, his age..things like that kept haunting your thoughts. Until one day, you decided to make a slight move, asking for some ingredient would be a great way to hear his voice, and maybe later baking him something to give it to him.
You sigh, you heard some footsteps, he must be home today. You knock on the door, gently with your hands shaking. It doesn’t take too much until your ears peak with the sound of him getting close to the door. His figure appears when he opens just half of the door.
—”May I help you?” —His voice is raspy, calm and relaxed at the same time. You notice how he has a strong British accent. From this distance, you can smell his scent, it’s strong and smells like whiskey and cigarettes, it’s oddly…comforting.
—”Sorry for bothering, I'm the neighbor below, I just want to know…if you have some sugar to give, by any chance.” —With a cute smile, you show him a little bowl in your hands that he can put the sugar in, the man narrows his eyes at you and nods.
—”Yes, I do. wait a minute.” — His fingers brush against yours when he takes the bowl in your hands and goes inside for a while. He leaves the door slightly open, and you just wait outside hearing his heavy footsteps around the house. When he’s back, your little bowl is filled with sugar, and he gives it back to you, his fingers brushing yours again.
—”Thanks, this will help a lot. I’m making cookies…would you like some?” — Your gentle voice was hard to ignore, he slowly nodded, and you can hear a little chuckle escaping his lips. It’s very good to hear, you felt your heart skipping a beat, he’s leaning against the door frame, looking at you.
—”Thanks for the sugar, I'm [name] by the way." —He keeps silent for a while, like he’s listening to your voice attentively.
—”It was nothing. I’m glad to help you, [name].”—You were expecting that he would say his name, but he just tries your name on his tongue. The tense ambient between you two is noticeable when the silence is back. You can only hum softly and look away.
—’What is…your name?”
—Simon. Call me Simon.”
—”Oh…okay Simon, thanks again and pleasure to meet you. Goodbye!”—Was a short talk, but it was enough to make your heart flutter with the warmth of his voice. You wave at him and he waves back, then all you can see is his back turning, his figure fading inside his house.
Quickly, you made your way back, still shivering a little, scared that he might think you’re weird. With a loud sigh, you close the door behind you, feeling safe inside your home. You know his name now…Simon. His voice is raspy and deep, and yet, makes you feel like you want to hear this voice every morning, the warmth of his body so close, his dark eyes staring at you making your legs weak. Everything about him didn't sound cold as they describe him.
He wasn’t that cold, deep and dark, no. He sounded so sweet and endearing to you, you just wish you could meet him better, talk to him more, listen to his voice, feel his presence towering at you, his expressions that you can only understand by his eyes, and you find this very beautiful, understand his feeling through his eyes, hear his warm chuckle filling the hall and not leaving your ears. It was memorable, even if it looked silly or too short. You felt really happy for doing that ‘move’.
Your kitchen is filled by a sweet smell, it’s the cookies you baked, with cute gloves around your hands, you take the plate with cookies and blow the steam off softly, Okay…you should give this to Simon now. You left a cute note too, that says ‘Enjoy the cookies, i hope its good :D’
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After one hour of your visit, Simon doesn't stop thinking about his neighbor. You're sweet, you're the only one in this complex that had the courage to talk to him, the other ones just look at him from afar and give him some judgmental glances. But you...you came to talk, and was smiling too! That definitely means you're not afraid of him, that you're willing to talk to him even when he's using that balaclava all the time. His thoughts are interrupted by some knock on his door, and weirdly…he hopes it's you again. He walks to the door and opens, with some kind of rush, but he doesn't see your cute smiling figure, no…he looks everywhere and there's no sight of you, but looking down, he finds a little plate painted with flowers, there's some cookies on it and a note too. He bends his body down a little and smiles through the balaclava. Picking up the plate, he can sense the smell of the warm cookies, it's still a bit hot, the steam in the air, blowing a delightful scent. He enters his apartament again, closing the door with his feet as he looks at the cookies in his hands, they look delicious. Simon starts to read the post-it in the plate, it has a message for him
"Enjoy the cookies, i hope it's good :D"
-[Name]
That's cute, he thought. It takes a chuckle out of him. His stomach starts to snore in hunger, that smell filling his brain and all he can think about is…why is she being so nice? No one in this complex was ever this nice with him, somehow, they seem to be scared of him, disgusted, or even feel pity for him. But being kind? She's the first one and all he can think about is the reasons she's doing this. He's a stoic soldier, who works a lot, doesn't stay at home too much, smells of whiskey and cigarettes, he doesn't show his face, he's tall, looks scary…why is she not afraid of Simon? He sighs and shakes his head. Sitting on his couch with a loud sigh, he rests his head back while eating her cookies, it's indeed delicious as the smell, it's house made and tastes like love. He can't help but leave a joyful hum at the taste.
—"Why is this so good?" —He talks to himself, that seems a little crazy, but he's his only company for a long while, so he's used to this. She could have poisoned him with these cookies, but no, her intentions were good. He's a cautious man, always thinking of his work, and his work only. But now? He can only taste these good cookies and wish for more, he wishes he could taste a lot of things that she made, seeing her cooking would be adorable, and the taste and smell of it only fills his heart with love, the love he never experienced before. Simon caught himself thinking of being with her, on her apartment, seeing her cook while she mumbles a song to herself, moving her body along the kitchen so cutely, he can't help but think that he wants this for his life, this peaceful mind for once, being at easy, without all the fear his work provides. And for once, rest his mind.
But she's only a kind neighbor, he shouldn't be thinking of this. He shouldn't be thinking of coming back after a long mission, and seeing her lips curling into a smile, feeling her little arms hugging him because she missed him too much, he doesn't have this. And he thinks he didn't even deserve this peace. All the people he killed with his hands, the blood he dropped, the fear in people's gaze when he's around, he's not the one who should be at a comfort in home, happy and living good, no. He thinks he doesn't deserve this at all. She's probably just being kind, why would she enjoy his company after all? He doesn't have anything good in him, he's only a stoic man, with scars, a bad past and a hard work to do that makes his hands dirty. He's sure a man like him doesn't have this.
As for you, you didn't want to bother him with your presence again, so you just left the cookies on his door, rushing back to the elevator when you knocked on the door. You wish you could see his reaction, but you don't want to disturb his peace once more, talking a lot while he just listens. You really wish he liked it. While you're on your couch, your legs are moving up and down quickly, in a nervous movement, you can't help but bite your nails, your other fingers fidgeting on your lap, as your mind is full of thoughts about his reaction. Will he like it? What if he finds you annoying? What if he finds you weird and doesn't want you around? Gosh, your mind is tricking yourself. You sigh loudly and decide to try some sleep, this will maybe put your mind at ease once, meeting new people wasn't that easy for you.
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By the morning, you woke up, not from the sunlight on your body, flashing on your eyes, not from the discomfort in your back from your sleeping positions, not from your cat resting in your tummy, none of this. But, you woke up by the sound of a knock in your door, a single one, who could be this early? You get up, leaving your little cat resting now in the bed, the sunlight keeping her warm. Your vision is still a little blurry, you rub your eyes with your fingers and walk to the door, opening without thinking too much about it, and the sight of who’s here messes your mind, making your vision immediately fix alone and your mind races, the sleep left your body.
—”Sorry for appearing so early. I am…going to work. And just wanted to say thanks for the cookies last night, they were delicious.” —Simon spoke softly, he seems not sleepy at all now, but his baggy eyes show that maybe he didn’t sleep, that’s why he’s so energetic now. You blush softly, his voice is even more deep in the morning, that British accent never leaving his tongue as he speaks.
—”Oh, that’s okay, I'm glad you liked it, Simon.” —Your voice sounded dragged by the remaining sleep, but you managed to give him a little smile. You want to know what he works with to leave this early.
—”I can see you were sleeping, sorry.” —Simon looks away, scratching the back of his neck even with the balaclava, scratching the silk of it. You look at your body and notice you're with your pajamas, it’s an old one, that is now short for you, and you can’t help but blush for Simon seeing you like this.
—”Don’t worry about it. Would you…like some coffee?” —You try to change the subject, hoping he won’t talk about your pajamas. A silence stays for a long while, Simon looks into your eyes, he’s surprised about your offer and it's visible. He can only nod and mumbles under his breath. He knows that he shouldn't be accepting this, he doesn’t deserve to have a calm breakfast, with someone who doesn't look at him disgusted by his acts, someone that is too innocent, that doesn't know what those hands did, what his ears listened to, what his eyes saw. For a brief second, he had a flashback of his past, everything he did. You're kind because you don’t know this man, don’t know the danger he could be to someone so innocent like you, who could literally break you with those blood painted hands.
You invite him inside, he’s now on your table, tapping his fingers on your table, as your figure is with you back turned to him, making coffee. This house is so cozy, warm and…a bit feminine, he could say. Simon looks in every detail, noticing how there's a lot of photos of you with what seems to be your family. You have someone that cares about you, everything he had vanished like dust, you’re so lucky for having a family. He wonders, if your family would take care of him too, if they would accept him like a son, and yet…he doesn’t have nothing with you, just some small talk. Maybe he is only overthinking. Your voice snaps him out of a trance, while he looks at your photos around the house.
—”How do you like your coffee? With sugar?”—He drives his attention to you again, who’s looking at him from your shoulder. He likes sugar, it’s something that can distract him from his bitter life.
—”With sugar, please.” —And after a while, in a good and comforting silence, you pour the coffee in two cups, putting one in front of the man on her table. He looks so much bigger than her chair, it’s a little funny, in a good way. The steam flows from their cups as Simon looks down to it, his face is hard to read, after all, only his eyes appear. Then, you caught yourself wondering, how he would drink the coffee with that balaclava.
—”I won’t look, i promise.”—You looks away, while blowing the steam and taking a sip of your coffee to disguise your nervous manner, bad idea, it was hot as hell, it burn your tongue, and you hiss in pain, dropping the cup back into the table quickly, happily, it didn’t break, You make a pout with your lips, your tongue hurts a lot now.
—”Oh, are you…okay?” —Simon left everything he was thinking behind and walked in front of you. He kneels down to level his height, since you’re sitting in the chair. His figure bends down to yours, his hands are shaking when he touches your arm slightly, like he’s afraid to make you uncomfortable.
—”Is’h okay…”—Your voice sounds weird, since your tongue hurts, you can’t speak properly. Simon takes a cup from your sink and pour the sink water on it, it’s not cold, neither hot. He kneels back, looking up to your eyes and giving you the cup with water.
—”Here, warm water will help.” —You do as he advises and drink the water without hesitation. The burden sensation easen a little, he seems to know what to do in this kind of situation.
—”How did you knew…thanks.”—Deciding to interrupt your question, you just say thanks to him. He looks right into your eyes, his expression seems softer a little, seeing you’re a little better.
—”My job…makes me learn how to prepare yourself for all kinds of situations.” —He talks a little about his job, not revealing what exactly it is. You look down at him, keeling down on his knees while looking worried about you, his hands still shaking, wandering on his knees, not touching you to make you uncomfortable. After all he passed through, he wouldn’t want someone like you to feel the same.
—”Thanks, it helped somehow. You’re really prepared for this.”
—”It’s my job to protect people. We have our ways to do so.” —Simon gets up from the ground and walks back to his chair, in front of you, slightly he lifts up his balaclava, revealing only his mouth and drinks a sip. The coffee it's not as hot as it was before. In a sign of respect, you look away, not wanting to invade his privacy, and he appreciates this a lot. After the burden sensation ends, you drink your now cold coffee, both in silence as you look away all the time, even with the curiosity to see his lips, you won’t do it. And by his words, you can guess what he works with…maybe he’s a doctor, a firefighter…a military?
—”The coffee is delicious, thanks for this.”—He feels himself going back to when his mom was alive, she was the only one who would really care about him, making him coffee…and this moment reminds him about her. It still hurts. A lot. He sighs softly, and you can say he’s thinking about something, but you won’t ask.
—”You often stay a lot of days out for work, no? Seems like a hard job.”
—”A very hard one, everything I do, changes a life. Big choices, big responsibilities…”
—”I understand…at least, I hope you can rest when you’re at home.”
—”It depends. I don’t really have any time to rest.” —You can hear Simon sigh, he’s really tired of this job. You still look away, not seeing his lips exposed a little. This moment, it’s the first one he could rest, even for a bit, not rest his body, but rest his mind.
—”And…will you stay out for days this time?”
—”Who knows.”
It’s not a question, it’s a statement. What a bad life he has, staying out for days, and when he’s back, he can’t even rest his mind. This moment, he wishes he could live like this forever, hearing your soft voice as you look around to respect his privacy, he didn’t even need to ask for, you knew somehow. Your cozy and warm apartment, it’s a lot different from his, his is almost empty, boring, sad. But yours? Had memories, life, and happiness. He wishes he could stay there forever. And he knows his duty, saving the world, saving citizens, or he could say…killing lives on exchange to save others. Making his hands dirty, so no one would need to do, only to see people like you, who has a family, a happy life, a rested mind, that’s why he does his job, so people like you can live without worries. In exchange, he sees things horrific, he hears screams in his ears that live on his mind, his body ends up tired and sore from all of this, just to see your smile on your face. He had a terrible childhood, he fought for his life, lost everything that was dear to him, in order to keep the peace in the world. In order to meet you, to see your brilliant smile. At least, he likes to think that way, this makes his life less insignificant, it’s like he’s a hero, when he knows he’s not. It’s just better to see this way, and hope it’s the truth, hope it’s not his imagination, trying to make him less guilty for everything he did all his life.
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itsnevercasual · 9 months ago
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Sweet Creature
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harry styles masterlist
pairing: kinda dark!harry styles x reader
summary: harry’s mother finds a girl on the side of the street one day while harry’s away. he hears about her for months, until he finally decides to see for himself. expecting her to be an undercover rat, he is surprised to find a girl more similar to a deer in headlights.
warning: kinda dark harry kinda alludes to him doing illegal, mafia type stuff but it isn’t specified. third person writing instead of second, READER DOESN’T USE HER REAL NAME!!! she will eventually just not yet.
harry had been hearing about some girl non-stop. by who, you may ask?
his mother.
his sweet, kind mother somehow found a girl who was living on the streets, took her in (gave her his room!), and is obsessed with her.
“oh, harry, she’s just the sweetest! gemma says she’s like a kicked puppy, but she’s just so sweet. this morning, i woke up, and she’d cleaned the whole house! and i asked her why, because i obviously didn’t tell her to, and she said she figured she should. you’d love her. proper sweetheart.”
and honestly, it was sweet. he probably would like her if he wasn’t the way he is. because the way he is, he thinks it’s a trap. he thinks she was never really living on the streets, and it’s a ploy. someone found his family and is trying to ruin it.
but, of course, he’d never let his mother know of the way he actually is and thinks, or what he does for a living.
“she sounds lovely, mum. what did you say her name was?”
“she says it’s belle. she’s always singing some french song. i think she lived in france before she got here.. i’m not sure. she isn’t very talkative.”
“she got an accent?”
“a little bit of everything, hazza. when will you come visit? i think you have to be the one to tell her that your room is hers now. she keeps saying ‘harry’s room’ and ‘your son’s room’. i feel horrible!”
“she’s probably just weary mum. if she was on the streets before, she probably just doesn’t want to jinx it.”
“you’re right.. gosh, she won’t even let gemma and i buy her things. she just borrows gemma’s clothes and apologizes a bunch for it. i’m not sure what to do.”
“i’ll come visit soon.”
and he did. a surprise visit in the middle of the night, because he was convinced he’s find this belle girl doing shady things .
except when he snuck in the front door, the house was quiet.
alright, he supposes, she’s stealthy.
so he goes upstairs and quietly opens his bedroom door.
and that’s when it’s a little louder. a girl is twisted and turning and mumbling in her sleep on his bed.
all she is saying, from what he can hear, is no. no, no, no, no, no. please, no.
and he feels a little bad, so he walks over to tap her. when that doesn’t work, he shakes her.
her eyes snap open and she has probably the worst reaction possible in this situation.
she fucking screams. like a goddamn banshee.
and sure, it lasts for maybe five seconds, probably four, but she definitely woke his mother up. and it’s so loud, he backs up to the doorway.
gemma was probably still passed out. she would sleep through the world ending.
“hey! it’s just me, calm down!”
she squinted at him through the darkness before yanking the chain on the lamp, turning it on.
he could hear her practically hyperventilating from the doorway.
she let out a sigh of relief when she recognized him from the photos in the living room.
“you really are jumpy, huh?”
“i woke up to a random man hovering over me,” she deadpans.
he almost laughs.
“it’s my room.”
and it’s like a fucking switch. her breaths are staggered and labored, but she still rushes out a whole ass monologue. kicked puppy, indeed.
“oh, my god. i am so sorry. i forgot. i can— i can take the couch— you probably want to sleep in your bed. i’m sorry, anne didn’t say you were coming by or else i would’ve cleaned up—“
the room is spotless, probably cleaner than when he stays in it, but harry doesn’t say that.
“i’ll just.. grab my blanket and stuff and go to the couch. i’m so sorry, i didn’t know—“
“relax,” he finally says. “i knew you’d be in here. i was just.. grabbing a pillow. didn’t realize mum was serious about you being jumpy.”
“oh.. uh.. are you sure? i can take the couch—“
“belle— belle, right?” she nods. “go back to bed. i have slept on plenty of couches. i will survive.”
“i feel bad.”
“well, don’t.”
he should feel bad. she is very clearly not dangerous unless she is a phenomenal actress.
“you’re not mad, are you? because i can sleep on the couch—“
“jesus, are y’gonna cry?”
“i can’t help it! i’m sorry!—“
“what on earth is going on— harry! what did you do!” anne asked as she rushed through the doorway, moving to sit next to belle.
“i didn’t do anything!” he defends.
“he didn’t do anything, anne,” she repeats. “just.. frightened me, is all.”
anne gives her a look before pulling her into a hug, and she just flips another switch and instead of watering eyes, she sobs.
who the hell is her acting coach? maybe he could take a few lessons.
“h, go get her a cuppa.. and there’s those baby yogurt melts in the cupboard.”
he doesn’t comment on the fact that belle is at the very least 19, and probably shouldn’t be eating baby food.
the next morning, belle made her way downstairs quietly. she was surprised to see harry making a cup of tea this early, but she didn’t say anything, not wanting to disturb his peace.
she adjusted her earbuds in her ear (anne offered to buy her better ones, airpods or something, but she was fine with her earbuds, even if the wire was a pain in the ass), so they didn’t fall out as she walked.
once she made it into the kitchen, she walked into the pantry, grabbing some random granola bar.
when she turned, she jumped. harry was right behind her. well, in front of her now.
“sorry,” she mumbled, moving out of his way.
he muttered something she didn’t understand.
“um.. sorry about.. last night. i’m kind of jumpy.”
“i noticed.”
he was very short. he didn’t seem to like her much.
“you can.. uh.. take your.. room back.. if you want.”
“it’s yours. i’m fine.”
“are you—“
“i’m sure.”
rude. why was he so rude? what had she done to him? well, besides scream at him, but in her defense, he was just hovering over her! that’s weird!
harry still didn’t trust her after a week of being there. she kept to herself for the most part, although he was pretty sure he heard her and gemma giggling in the middle of the night.
he just couldn’t figure out who sent her. why she was here.
his mother explained her freakout when he showed up eventually.
“you gotta be careful with her, h. she’s like.. a bunny, in a way. if you aren’t careful in how you approach her and speak to her, she bolts. first day she was here, i asked her what happened, because she had this horrible cut on her cheek. locked herself in your room for a week. i think whatever put her on the streets is a sensitive topic, and was difficult for her.”
“i jus’ dunno if i trust her, mum.”
“well, i do. she’s sweet, she just needs to warm up to you. she warmed up to me and gemma after about a week or two.. and she’s been more jumpy when gem brings michael around. so.. she might just need a minute.”
“the whole thing just seems.. shady.”
“she’ll tell us when she’s ready. and until then, you’ll make her feel welcomed. speaking of, i’m gonna go wash her clothes. poor girl won’t let us buy her anything. she just has these same clothes she had and a few things gemma convinced her to use.”
a/n: little thing i wrote on a plane, part 2 soon-ish maybe
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