#me crying on the floor because I know it. I can read and hear it. but the letters blend together in my mind
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mocchiixxx · 2 days ago
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Words in Ruin Series # | 02 : Yoon Jeonghan 😇
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Idol Life Realism, Slow-Burn Reconciliation
Warnings: Hurtful words, emotional vulnerability, soft guilt spiral, crying
Summary: Jeonghan snaps under the weight of stress, saying things he never meant to the one person who’s always been gentle with him. But when silence replaces your usual warmth, he realizes some words cut deeper than he ever intended and this time, sorry has to be more than just a word.
💌😇💌
The clock read 1:14 AM.
You sat curled up on the couch, a throw blanket around your shoulders, half a drama playing on the TV you weren’t really watching. Your eyes kept flicking to the door. Again. And again.
You didn’t even hear the key turn— just the sound of it shutting, and Jeonghan's familiar footsteps trailing into the apartment.
“Hannie?” you called out softly, standing.
He glanced up, startled, as if he didn’t expect you to still be awake. His face was pale under the hallway light, his hair tousled, the air around him heavy.
“You’re home late again,” you said gently, careful not to sound accusing. “I was getting worried.”
He exhaled sharply, tossing his bag on the floor without care. “I’m not a kid. I don’t need someone watching over me all the time.”
You blinked.
The tone.
He'd never spoken to you like that before. Not even during your few minor disagreements.
“I’m not trying to watch over you,” you said, fidgeting with your fingers. “I just… it’s been three straight weeks of you coming home past midnight, barely eating, and sleeping for what? Three hours, tops? I’m worried, Hannie.”
He scrubbed a hand over his face. “I’m fine. It’s just work. We’re all going through it.”
“I’m not doubting that,” you said, trying to stay calm. “I just want you to take care of yourself. You’re tired, and I—”
“God, Y/N, can you stop?” he snapped, eyes narrowing. “Why does everything have to be about me? You hover like it’s your full-time job.”
You froze.
Your heart dropped, the words lodging deep like tiny glass splinters.
Jeonghan immediately looked away, jaw tight like he was already regretting it— but he didn’t take it back. Not yet.
You stepped back slightly, the silence thick between you.
“I wasn’t hovering,” you said, voice small. “I was… caring.”
Something in that sentence cracked his composure.
“I didn’t ask you to,” he muttered, but even he knew it was cruel.
You didn’t respond this time. Just nodded faintly, turned around, and headed for the bedroom. Your hand lingered on the doorframe for a second longer than necessary before disappearing behind it.
Jeonghan stood there for a beat.
Then two.
Then—
“Shit,” he breathed.
He immediately followed you into the room a few minutes later, guilt trailing him like a shadow.
You were sitting on the edge of the bed, facing away, wiping your cheeks.
“Y/N,” he said softly, not sure how to begin. “I— can we talk?”
You didn’t say anything.
He crossed the room, crouched down in front of you, eyes wide and full of shame. “I shouldn’t have said that. Any of it.”
Your eyes finally met his. “Then why did you?”
His lips parted, but he hesitated. “Because I’m an idiot. Because I’ve been bottling everything up like always. Because I hate burdening people— even you.”
You stared at him, brows furrowed. “You think love is a burden?”
“No!” he said quickly, shaking his head. “No. Never. It’s just… when things get too much, I pretend I’m okay until I’m not. And tonight, I snapped. But you didn’t deserve that. You were being kind, and I was being—”
“Cruel,” you whispered. “You were cruel, Jeonghan.”
That made him flinch.
“I know,” he whispered. “I hurt you. I saw it in your eyes the second the words left my mouth. I’m sorry. I wish I could take it all back.”
He reached out carefully, brushing your hand with his. “I just… didn’t want to fall apart. And I think deep down, I knew that if you looked at me like you were really worried, I wouldn’t be able to hold it together.”
You didn’t speak for a moment. Then, “Why wouldn’t you let yourself fall apart… with me?”
His throat tightened. “Because you’re the only peace I have. I didn’t want to taint that with all the chaos I’m carrying.”
You finally met his eyes. “But I want all of you, Jeonghan. Even the tired parts. Even the messy ones. You don't need to protect me from your storms... I just want to be your umbrella.”
Jeonghan let out a trembling breath, reaching up to cup your cheek. “I’ve never deserved you. But I swear, I’ll try to be someone who does.”
You closed your eyes at the warmth of his touch. “Just promise me next time, talk to me instead of shutting down or snapping.”
“I promise,” he said without hesitation. “Even if the words are ugly, I’ll say them before they rot inside me and hurt you again.”
You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, and he buried his face into your neck, holding you tighter than he had in days.
“I love you angel, never forget that.” he whispered kissing your neck gently and burying his face to it even more, affectionately.
You smile and kisses his head before replying, “I love you too, hannie.”
In that quiet embrace, Jeonghan let go of the weight he carried and picked up something gentler in its place... you.
Taglist: @babycaratdeul @viacb97
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always-a-slut-4-ghouls · 2 years ago
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Adhd will be like “you’re not dyslexic, you just don’t read the whole word. Good luck with math you dumb fuck”
#emma posts#there is more to dyscalcula and having trouble remembering how to spell long words#but these sure aren’t helping#me. learning Norwegian. reading the sentences and or putting words together to make one ‘I’m so fucking good at l this’d’#okay. now spell the word for ‘difficult’#me crying on the floor because I know it. I can read and hear it. but the letters blend together in my mind#it’s bad enough trying to do this with English. which is my FIRST LANGUAGE#but then it’s like ‘spell complicated words you are learning in another language’ and i feel like smashing my head on the carpet#I can’t speak it for the life of me though. which is actually getting frustrating#without an actual person to explain how to pronounce the words I’m failing so badly#but the primary reason I’ve been learning since April is to read it anyway#and listening is good too. harder though#I’m going to be so fucked up when I start taking Swedish lessons#the word means the same thing and also sounds almost the same (to an English speaker)#BUT THEY SPELL IT VERY DIFFERENTLY!#and with whole new letters#I’m going to write the Norwegian spelling and fail#I will admit that my plan to learn Norwegian first has been working otherwise though#them using fewer unfamiliar characters and being slightly more similar to English really is making it easier to learn#than Swedish first would be. maybe I’m just biased because I’m doing decently at Norwegian#but now when I learn a Swedish word it feels easier because i have two Germanic languages to compare the words to#and one of those languages is even another Nordic language! I dread finding Icelandic lessons though. but it will probably be several years#before I even attempt that! I am doing this because I want to be able to read old family records and objects but learning about#the linguistics of the language family both are in has been super fun and made it actually easier to learn Norwegian!#Spanish is the other language I want to learn but I’ve been putting it off#because it’s more for day to day utility and I can’t fixate on it the same way. I’m terrible at concentrating on it#plus. I’ve already had four Spanish classes so I figure I’ll at least have something to start from! I think I even kept my highschool notes#it’s been really frustrating figuring out which ‘the’ to use. having everything be masculine or feminine has probably been my biggest issue#when making sentences in it. also having had teachers from totally different dialects has been hard in the past#Mexican Spanish can be very diffident from the South American one my highschool teacher taught
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tojisbbg · 2 months ago
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gang baby
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❝she told you she celibate, but she told me i can nail her shit!❞
♡ sylus, caleb, rafayel, zayne, xavier ♡
sypnosis: you're just a girl. yeah, you can't decide between five hot LI's presented to you in the popular otome game, love and deepspace, but that's okay. who said you can't have them all? literally.
wc: 11k (lots of smut beware)
a/n: valentines day special!! guys, don't question it, ok? i wrote this with my whole pussy. ok bai. (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)
reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciated <3
content: all lads LI's x fem!reader (yes, you read right), gangbang, slight plot, reader gets transported in lads universe, smut (no details, find out hehe), all acts are consensual, not edited. disclaimer: not based off tomorrow's catch-22!!
⋆𐙚₊��⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪
"fuck!" you yelled out in frustration, chucking your phone off your bed as the poor device fell on the floor with a loud thud. you could hear your best friend giggling from your laptop, making you shoot her a sharp glare.
"shut up." you sneer, but it only fueled her laughter more.
"damn, infold really hates you, bro." she pokes further at your miserable failure, making your shoulders slump in defeat as you grumble.
"i can't believe it. i've been grinding for two months straight to save up fifteen thousand diamonds for the valentines day banner! i was sure i'd pull them all, and you're telling me i only got two out of the five?? this is a fucking joke." you ranted, making your friend hum as she understood your anger.
"yeah, i'd be mad as hell too. but hey, at least you got sylus and caleb. just watch the rest on twitter or something." your best friend tried to comfort you, but it only made you pout.
"but i want them all." you sulked, making her roll her eyes.
"you're such a whore." she sighed, making you grin.
"duh, why choose one when i can have them all." you nonchalantly responded.
"yeah, yeah, forgot you had no shame." she shook her head in disbelief.
"man, i don't know what else to do. i literally milked the game dry, there's no other way i can get more diamonds for more pulls before the event ends. this is so unfair." you whined, fingers tangled in your hair.
"you can always-"
"no. i'm not giving those greedy hoes my money." you cut off her suggestion, your tone stern.
you were a poor college student who worked part-time at a stationery supply store (living the aesthetic life while crying over classes and fictional men); money's tight, and you're not about to spend hundreds on this because you know it'd become a horrible habit sooner or later.
despite being broke, your spending habits were outrageous.
"yeah girl, then i don't know what to tell ya. i'm chilling with my rafayel card. oh shit, it's almost three in the morning, bitch. we have class tomorrow, go to sleep." she yawned tiredly.
"you're leaving me just like that? after i went through so much pain and trauma? is this how deep our ten years of friendship runs? just say you hate me and want me to die a slow painful death." you dramatically rambled, making your best friend rub her temple in faux annoyance as she groaned at your stupidity.
"when i see you tomorrow, i'm gonna slap you. goodnight, hoe." with that, she hung up.
you closed the lid of your laptop and placed it on charge, stretching before standing up to go pick up your phone. you noticed the small cracks on your screen as you walked back to your bed.
you unlocked your phone, noticing how the lads server kicked you out. you exited the app, clicking on it again as you were met with caleb's face.
so l-long for longe-ge-... before fa-fa...dust
so long for-for-.... fading-fa..-dus..
so-so...lo...ng-..fading...
your eyebrows furrowed as you watched the app glitch horribly, the audio was choppy and produced crackling noises. the graphics were disoriented and there was a pop-up notification saying you needed to upgrade your memory.
you could feel your irritation rise once again, getting tired of this shit as you decided to deal with it tomorrow or something. however, every time you tried to exit the app, it wouldn't let you.
your phone literally froze.
"great. just fucking great." you sarcastically murmured.
not only did you not get the limited cards you wanted, you were broke (in the real world and in lads), you're screwed for your morning classes and your phone is currently on its last breath.
also, you were hungry as fuck right now, craving for some five guys.
"fuck this." you sighed in defeat, settling your phone next to you before laying down to sleep. you figured that eventually your phone would turn off once the battery died, so until then you just turned to the other side and ignored the device.
soon enough, fatigue took over your body as you were slipping away into a deep slumber.
unaware, your phone screen turned off momentarily, before flickering on once again as the screen crackled and glitched before stopping.
data retrieval complete, memory upgrade...
successful.
⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪
you stirred in your sleep, eyebrows pinched together as you felt a cold breeze run across the bare skin of your thighs and arms.
nonetheless, you don't remember leaving your window open, it was the middle of february. you groaned, eyes still shut tight as your hand reached down, trying to locate your blanket.
"comfortable, sweetie?" you heard an oddly familiar, deep voice suddenly speak.
did someone break into your house? and why the hell did your mattress feel so hard and cold?
your eyes shot open, adjusting your blurry vision as you realized you were not in your bedroom. you were laying on the cold, dirt ground and it made you panic.
you helplessly sat up and noticed the long pair of legs in front of your body, making you look up as you saw the towering figure of a man. the night sky was dark, making it hard for you to make out his face.
"who are you? and what the hell am i doing out here?" you asked, but your voice barely came out as a whisper.
a deep chuckle rumbled from his chest, before he bent down to come eye-level with you. as soon as you met the bright, ruby red orbs of his foxy eyes; your jaw dropped in horror.
no. fucking. way.
"shouldn't i be the one asking you those questions, sweetie?" sylus smirked, head tilting as he keenly watched your facial expressions.
"you're not real. i'm dreaming, yeah, just a dream that feels too real." you blurt out, a breathy laugh scratching your dry throat, trying to calm yourself from freaking out as your heart leaped to your chest when he directly looked at you.
"a dream, you say? hmph, you're a strange one." he shook his head before grabbing your wrist, bringing your palm to his lips. the warmth of his rough hands, which were definitely double the size of yours, made you shiver due to the contrast of your cold ones. he bit the side of your palm before gently sucking on it, making you jolt from the sudden sensation.
sylus watched you with pure amusement glinting in his eyes.
"you're like a scared little kitten, so expressive." sylus commented, making you swallow harshly.
well, this definitely was not a dream, thanks to sylus's help for that confirmation.
but the question was.... how the hell did you end up here?
suddenly, there was rustling in the distance, making his eyes twitch as he became alert. sylus slightly shifted closer to you, now scanning the area for the intruder.
"miss bodyguard?" with a dramatic gasp, you heard rushed footsteps approach you. it was hard to miss the hues of indigo, pinks and blues in his eyes along with the striking dusky purple hair that was a little more visible thanks to the moonlight.
"r...rafayel?" it felt odd saying his name out loud, it almost made you feel a little schizophrenic.
just a bit.
"duh, who else would it be? what are you doing here in the N-109 zone at this hour. also, the hell are you wearing? so not creative or fashionable." rafayel questioned, of course, not forgetting to throw in his snarky little insults along with it.
"what's wrong with what i'm wearing?" you glared at him.
"it's the middle of february and you're dressed like it's a hundred degrees outside." the lemurian smirked down at you.
you cursed at yourself for going to bed in shorts and a thin shirt. well, to be fair, it's a cute snoopy set. also, who in the hell could've predicted this to happen!?
"she wanted to have a little sleepover with the wanderers that lurk around here." the dragon teased, making your face heat up.
"i did not." you mumbled under your breath.
"uh-huh, you're not really in the position to defend that claim." rafayel egged further.
"whatever, what are you doing here? you usually don't go out of your way to come to the N-109 zone." you tried to change the subject, remembering from his anecdotes that he usually has third party people as his "networks" to gain intel.
"just some business you shouldn't sweat your pretty little head over, cutie. but, you know, we should really talk about what your business is with the leader of onychinus." he cocked an eyebrow, his eyes flickering between you and sylus.
"it's nothing, uh, i don't even know him." you chuckled nervously, making sylus look at you with a sharp look.
"is that so, kitten? you wound me. and here i thought we had something more than just... acquaintances. i guess those nights of naughty touches, kisses and naked glances mean nothing to you, right?" sylus shamelessly bullet-pointed, his tone dropping an octave lower as your cheeks grew warm.
on the other hand, rafayel's eyes widened at the revelation.
"you fucked the leader of onychinus?! woah, woah, woah, pause. what about everything that happened between us?? we had sex in my bathtub, the hotel and don't forget-" he was flabbergasted, only to be cut off by sylus.
"you were messing around with this half-baked fish, sweetie? i'm disappointed in your taste. if you planned on two-timing, you could've selected a better opponent for me. this is just... offensive." he snarked, his red eyes beaming with irritation as he looked at rafayel, who's face grew dark from his brash words.
"what did you say to me, you fucking crow? half-baked fish? i'm the god of tides, a majestic lemurian. you dare to speak to me like that?" rafayel's voice became husky, languid footsteps towards the other man.
"h-hey, hey, let's all calm down. there's a very logical and reasonable explanation, i swear." you tried to mediate between them, but it didn't seem like they planned on giving a flying shit about what you had to say any time soon.
"y/n? there you are. i've been blowin' up your phone for hours. thought a wanderer got to you and i got worried about how i'd pay the rent by myself." xavier walked from the shadows, his words laced with a gentle joke as he approached you and the other two men.
holy fuck, this was not good.
"and who are you guys?" the ash-blonde male asked, eyes narrowing before looking down at you.
"xavier." you meeked, not even knowing what to say anymore.
"why are you seeing other guys, y/n? am i not enough? you know i don't like it when you hide things from me. i thought you learned your lesson after i punished you for choosing lumiere over me." xavier now towered over you, his voice laced with envy as you gulped.
fuck, fuck, fuck.
"xavier, i promise i can explain. this is all just a-" you tried to somehow pull an excuse out of your ass, but your brain was fogging up.
"pipsqueak?"
"y/n? what an odd place to be at during such an odd hour, you left your patient copy in my office."
two other figures emerged from the sides, making your eyes close in disbelief, wishing that you could somehow disappear from the face of earth right now.
why the fuck are they all here.
at the same time.
"you've got to be kidding me." you covered your face with the palm of your hands.
"caleb? i thought you were dead." zayne spoke in a monotone, glancing at his childhood friend.
"wow, i missed you too, zayne." caleb rolled his eyes, sarcasm dripping from his words. however, the small spark of tension barely lasted before caleb looked back at you.
"care to explain why you're in such a dangerous zone at this time? you know you can't hide from me, pipsqueak. what connections do you have here? who are you seeing? was locking you up in the attic not enough for you?" caleb lectured, his voice gruff before zayne decided to add on to the fire.
"you're utterly reckless, your heart condition isn't getting any better." zayned pushed the frame of his glasses up the bridge of his nose.
all five on them now circled you, bickering and arguing with each other along with bombarding you with questions. you balled your fists in annoyance and frustration.
"shut up! oh my fucking god, i don't know, okay?! i don't know how i ended up here, so stop asking me. fuckin' hell, i can't even get a moment to breathe or think because all of you little shits won't shut up for a second!" you snapped as you stood up, making all of them look at you with surprised eyes.
you gulped, feeling a little cornered as you have five insanely tall, broad and buff men look down at you; like helpless prey.
caleb was the first person to break the momentary silence, grabbing your arm to pull you towards him.
"let's go home, pipsqueak. i'll cook your favorite tonight since it's valentines day." he smiled, only for your other arm to be tugged backwards as you yelped.
"home? her home is with me, we're roommates. i think you got the wrong person." xavier calmly replied, but his words were laced with venom.
"she's going nowhere with either of you. she's my bodyguard and i need her to come back with me to my studio. y'know, in case some scary wanderers are lurkin' around." rafayel pushed xavier to the side, intertwining his fingers with yours before giving you a charming smile as he attempted to walk off; only to bump into someone.
"i don't think so. she's been out here for so long, i might need to give her an exam to make sure she's okay." zayne cleared his throat, pinching the bridge of his nose.
you felt like you were the rope being tugged in tug-of-war. sylus deeply sighed at the situation and before you knew it; in one smooth swoop you were now in the strong arms of the leader of onychinus.
"what fools. she's in the N-109 zone for a reason. for me, of course. come on, sweetie, you must be freezing. let's go inside." sylus look down at you with a gentle smile playing on his lips.
you groaned, squirming out of his hold as sylus let you, watching you get back on your feet.
"this is ridiculous! you all are acting like a bunch of kids, fighting over me like i'm some kind of toy. none of you own me!" you stood your ground.
"fine, then why don't you choose?" sylus scoffed, crossing his arms. you grew quiet, looking at each of them before averting your gaze to the ground.
"i... i can't." you whispered.
"you can't? or you don't want to?" xavier snickered.
"you're the one who's been toying with us. we deserve an explanation, no?" rafayel grinned.
"explanations are too time-consuming, actions speak louder than words. so, how are you gonna fix it, y/n?" hazel eyes peered at you with intensity through the glass lenses.
oh, you're so fucked.
⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪
everything happened so fast, you didn't know who swiped your panties off or unclasped your bra.
you felt betrayed at how they evilly plotted against you, telepathically agreeing to punish you for your unfaithfulness. what happened to hating each other? so, here you were now, splayed on the soft mattress in sylus's room; like art on a display.
they drank in the sight of you, perky tits spilled out as the smooth glaze of your skin glimmered under the dim lighting of the room. their eyes were full of hunger, eye-fucking you as you grew shy under their intense gazes.
"s-stop staring at me like that." you whined, looking away as your face reddened at the attention.
you felt someone stroking your thighs, making you shudder as you looked in front of you, seeing caleb gripping the supple fat of your plush thighs.
"never knew you were such a dirty little slut, princess. all these years of knowing you... and to think you were capable of this? how naughty." caleb smirked, prying your thighs open as you gasped.
but, your lips would soon be sealed with zaynes as he kissed you roughly. his pillow-soft lips molded with yours, the smacking sound of saliva filled the room. a big, veiny hand came up to cup your cheek gently as he slid his tongue inside your mouth, licking the wet muscle before sucking it.
caleb used his thumb to spread your soaked folds apart, watching the lewd string of your arousal connect them both. your clit was puffy from being neglected, a sheen of wetness covering your cunt; making his mouth salivate. he leaned down, mouth hovering above your pussy.
"fuckin' beautiful." caleb swore under his breath, the warm air fanning above your aching cunt, giving you goosebumps. you moaned into zayne's mouth, feeling caleb's warm and wet tongue lick a fat stripe up your cunt.
"hope you didn't forget about us, cutie." rafayel pouted, licking at your nipple before wrapping his lips on the swollen pebble. sylus soon followed his footsteps, greedily kneading at your other tit before leaning down and pressing open-mouthed kisses on the soft mound.
meanwhile, xavier's lips were buried in your neck as he punished you with licks and bites on the expanse of your unmarked flesh.
"ngh~ xavier!" you whimpered against zayne's lips, the doctor now nibbling on your bottom lip.
he licked the side of your neck before softly clamping his teeth down, suckling and leaving a purplish bruise. as a soothing apology, xavier kitten-licked the fresh mark before moving down to your collarbone with wet kisses.
caleb continued to lap at your wet cunt, his saliva mixed with your juices dripped down his chin. the tip of his tongue circled your clit before suckling on it, making your legs tremble as a moan ripped out of your throat as you tried to close your legs.
"f-fuck.. hnghh.." you cried out, feeling him plant his palms on your inner thighs, forcing you to keep them open. caleb peered up at you from between your thighs, amethyst eyes glaring at you as his lips were glossy.
"don't interrupt me when i'm eating." he huskily spoke before slapping your dripping pussy, producing a wet 'pap!' noise. you yelped because of your increased sensitivity, not having enough time to recover before he dove back in.
with one last wet smooch, zayne released your lips before crawling down right next to his childhood friend. they exchanged a quick look, a mischievous smirk dancing on the colonel's lips.
"oh? was my tongue not enough for you, princess?" he lowly spoke, pinching your inner thigh as you bit your bottom lips.
"ahh... need z-zayne to help... please?" you begged, making him scoff. zayne couldn't help but grin with pride, your words stroking his ego a little.
"you heard her, move." zayne pushed caleb a little to squeeze himself between your legs, taking off his glasses before throwing them to the side. caleb, utterly betrayed, seethed with jealousy.
"so that's how you wanna play? fine." caleb accepted it as a challenge, but of course, he won't let neither of you get the last word.
zayne ignored his little childish outburst, digging in as his scarred hands rested on your lower stomach before his fingers stroked the expanse of it, gently moving to the side to hold your hips; caressing your smooth skin while tracing the faint stretch marks decorating it.
your puffy clit peaked out of your wet slit, making zayne lean down to press a wet smooch on it. you shuddered, mouth gaping open as your breathing quickened. zayne dragged his tongue up your sopping folds slow and languidly, the tip of his tongue digging into your wet pussy. the difference in how zayne and caleb ate you out was clear. caleb liked to eat your honeyed cunt like a starved dog, as if it was his last meal; unlike zayne, who liked to take his time and savor the taste of your sweet cunt.
"mhmmm.... zaynee~" you slurred his name, drunk in pleasure as he took his time to lap at your pussy, suckling and nibbling on your clit. amethyst eyes bore into the back of zayne's head, fuming with anger and envy.
caleb's fingers dug into your thighs, making you wince in pain but soon it deliciously simmered into the pleasure you were getting from zayne's tongue. the colonel snickered, watching how slick your pussy was from saliva and your juices, deciding to toy with you as revenge.
you felt the pads of caleb's middle and ring finger brush against your hole, probing the tight opening. you groan, feeling him push in both fingers at once.
"c-caleb!" you stuttered out, feeling him scissor his fingers in and out of your tight hole; the thickness and length of his digits rubbing you in all the right places.
suddenly, xavier roughly grabbed your jaw, squishing your chubby cheeks in his hands; forcing you to look at him. the expression on his face was dark, eyes clouded with lust and possessiveness.
"you seem to be enjoying yourself, dirty girl. you like having four other guys touch you, hm? this mouth is fucking filthy, maybe i should clean it, yeah?" he smirked, blue eyes sharply peering down at you.
"x-xav.." you were cut off by his grip tightening just a little more, making you wince.
"shhh... not another word, my dumb little girl. now i just wanna hear you gagging on my cock, 'kay?" xavier unbuckled his belt before unzipping his pants. he pulled the waistband of his boxers down, making his hard cock spring against his abs, your eyes widening at the sight.
his dick didn't have a lot of girth, but fuck it was long. xavier tapped the blush pink tip of his leaky cock on your lips, spreading his precum all over them like it was your own personal gloss. his thumb rested on your chin before pulling it down, forcing your mouth to open as he slid his cock in; the ash-blonde male let out a shaky sigh.
both sylus and rafayel continued to paw at your tits, biting and sucking on your nipples. with a lewd 'pop!', they released your swollen bud, eyeing their shared masterpiece as your tits were littered with hickies and trails of saliva.
"why don't you return the favor, sweetie? these cute little hands of yours seem empty." sylus gives you a toothy grin, bringing your hand to the tent forming on his pants, making you palm him through them. a deep groan escaped his lips as your hand stroked him through the rough fabric of his leather pants.
rafayel now sat on his knees by your other side, grabbing your wrist before bringing it up to his lips. he kissed the soft, warm flesh of your wrist; inhaling the scent of your skin as he let out a moan.
"you smell so fucking good. god, it's driving me insane." he breathed out, licking your pulse point before gently biting down on it. rafayel continued to sniff and kiss your wrist, using his other free hand to undo his pants and pull his aching cock out; stroking it as it throbbed in his palms. he teased his slit, spreading the sticky precum all over the tip.
your eager hands fumbled with sylus's belt as you tried to undo it, a little difficult because your mouth was still full of xavier's cock and forced you to maintain eye contact with him; as if looking at anyone else in this room would make his existence perish. but, sylus decided to be kind enough and help you because who is he to deny you?
you dug your hand inside his boxers, eyes widening as you realized that you couldn't even fully grasp his dick. he was fucking hung, thick and long, not lacking in any area. a guttural moan escaped his lips, feeling your soft fingers caressing his balls.
you took out his cock from the confinement of his boxers, stroking the shaft of it as your fingers teased the throbbing vein that ran on the underside curve of his dick. sylus threw his head back in pleasure, a soft whimper heard as his chest heaved.
"feels so fuckin' good, sweetie." he praised, your hand still lazily moving up and down his thick meat.
you felt the tip of zayne's nose nudging your clit, providing more stimulation as he continued his assault on your sopping wet cunt; his tongue flicking at a leisurely pace between your folds. caleb matched the rhythm of zayne's tongue, finger-fucking you with deep and hard strokes.
your moans were muffled by xavier's cock as he drove his hips into your mouth; your cheeks hollowing as you tried to not graze the skin of his dick with your teeth. you could hear the soft grunts and whimpers falling from his lips, eyes closed in bliss as he still had your cheeks firmly squished between his fingers.
"fuck yeah... you were made for this, takin' my cock so well." xavier breathed out, slender fingers tangling in your hair as he pulled your head closer.
you could feel the pressure of zaynes tongue slurping your clit along with caleb's fingers abusing your cervix collide. the familiar knot began to settle in your lower stomach, making your thighs tremble as your eyes screwed shut, toes curling in pleasure.
caleb could feel your walls contracting, you were definitely close and as much as he would love to see you cream all over his fingers; you've been cruelly unfair to him.
xavier lazily opened his eyes, cerulean orbs looking down at you half-lidded. he scoffed, watching your face flush as saliva trickled down the corner of your mouth. you opened your eyes briefly, he watched as they rolled back from the pleasure you were recieving from your childhood friends.
he pulled his cock out of your mouth, glaring down at you.
"nghhh~ p-please..!" you mumbled against his tip, crying out in pleasure as you tried to kick your leg forward to get away from the two men ravaging your pussy. however, both caleb and zayne pinned your legs down.
"focus on me." xavier scowled, and in one swift and hard thrust, his cock slid down your throat as far as you could take him. your eyes blew wide open, as you gagged on his dick. he was being nice earlier, but now you really pissed him off.
you had the nerve to think about those two when he was being kind enough to rinse that dirty mouth of yours with his cock?
"fuckin' ungrateful brat, ignoring me when i'm stuffing this filthy mouth full of my dick." he panted, fucking your face as tears streamed down your face and drool dripped down your chin.
zayne and caleb continued their combined attack, making you scream as your felt zayne sucking on your clit harder while caleb's fingers continued to rub against your walls at a faster pace.
suddenly, all sensation was lost as caleb pulled out his fingers while simultaneously grabbing onto the back of zayne's head with his free hand; yanking his hair back to unlatch his mouth from your weeping cunt. your eyes widened as tears streamed down your face, your hole pulsating at the feeling of nothing.
"only good girls get to cum." caleb darkly chuckled, zayne wincing in slight pain as he swatted the hand that yanked his hair.
"do that again and i'll fucking kill you." zayne murmured, making caleb roll his eyes.
"mmphh...!" your cries were muffled as xavier continued to use your throat as his personal fuckhole. he continued to shove his dick deeper, a small bulge forming on your throat as he pressed against it.
"there we go." xavier grinned sadistically, continuing to chase his high.
"h-hahhh... fuck, gonna cum." he panted, face flushing as he threw his head back, driving his hips forward. you could feel his cock twitch in your mouth, before he grabbed the back of your head and pulled you towards his lower stomach; shoving his cock deep in your throat one last time as your nose was buried in his soft pubes.
"shit.. shit- hnghh... take it- fuck, take it all." xavier moaned, his thick cum painting your throat as he came so much. your mouth became overloaded with his cum, leaking through the corner of your lips as you tried to swallow as much as you could. he pulled out, watching your gasp for air as you coughed.
"what do you say, slut?" he darkly asked.
"t-thank you." you breathed out, voice croaking.
"good girl." xavier smiled wickedly, stroking your bottom lip with his thumb, your tongue peeking out to lick it.
with the intense throat-fucking session with xavier and the cruel denial of your orgasm, you forgot about sylus who was still painfully hard in your hand.
"come on, sweetie, i know you could do better. want some help? yes, no, maybe so?" sylus whispered huskily, leaning down to bite your ear before kissing your temple.
"s-sorry.." you sniffled, still extremely sensitive.
"poor baby, don't cry. i'll help you." he cooed, grabbing your hand before spitting on it. the warm feeling of his spit made you shiver, he brought your hand to his cock; guiding you as you used your spit coated hand to grab his dick again.
this time, his hand firmly stayed on yours, tightening the grip. the silver haired male moaned, moving your joined hands up and down his throbbing cock; fucking your wet fist.
"hnghh... yeah, f-fuck..." sylus panted, thrusting his hips into the makeshift hole he made using your hand. his foxy eyes narrowed, bright ruby orbs rolling back as he rasped out swears from the absolute pleasure he was feeling.
rafayel hovered above your naked torso, his pretty cock resting on the valley between your tits. he grabbed his dick, giving it a few strokes, whimpering at his own touch before looking down at you.
"you're so beautiful." the lemurian whispered through labored breaths, face flushed as his mixed indigo eyes peeked at you through a half-lidded lust-filled stare.
rafayel swallowed harshly, guiding the tip of his leaky cock to your nipple; circling the hard bud as his precum coated it. your breath hitched, watching him use his hard cock to paint streaks of his precum all over the expanse of your hickey-littered chest.
he then spat on his hand, rubbing his spit all over his dick to lubricate it before settling it between your soft tits. using both of his hands, he squished your tits together to squeeze his warm cock between them. the whimper leaving his mouth was almost embarrassing from how loud and needy it was.
without a second more of hesitation, rafayel began to rut his hips forward, thrusting between your tits. he stroked your nipples before using his thumb and index finger, pinching the swollen buds and rolling them between his fingers.
"ahhh~ rafayel! f-feels good...!" you moaned, watching the blush pink tip of his cock peek through your cleavage every time he motioned his hips forward.
"hnghh... love your tits so much, cutie. so soft... so tasty and cute." he breathes out a small chuckled, eyebrows pinched in pleasure as he continued to thrust his cock between your boobs. his precum coated the valley of your tits, making it easier for him to slide between them.
while he continued his ministrations of using your titties to fuck himself, you focused on making sylus cum. you increased the pace of your hands, feeling his hand tightening the grip on yours, the vein on his cock pulsating as frequent deep whimpers left his lips. your thumb caught his slit, teasing it as he could feel his balls tighten.
"hmm... gonna make me cum, kitten." he groans, continuing to pump his cock using your hand until you felt the warm, thick wads of his cum dribble down your fingers. his hands slightly trembled, chest heaving as he tried to compose himself.
"fuck, that was... so hot." sylus chuckled, releasing your hand as he watched you bring your cum covered fingers to your mouth; licking his release as you hummed in approval.
he could feel himself get instantly hard again from such an erotic sight.
"you're mean, darling." he shook his head, making you grin.
you broke away your gaze from sylus, watching rafayel fall apart as he desperately groped your tits.
"h-hahhh... need y..-your help, cutie! please?" he pathetically begged, swallowing harshly as his hips stuttered. rafayel grabbed your wrist once more, smelling your scent and licking your flesh; groaning at how intoxicated you made him feel. the tip of his tongue traced your fingers before encasing them with his soft lips, sucking and biting on your digits; indigo eyes looking at you with a pleading look.
you smirked, knowing that it'd be easy to tease him. you were basically at all of their mercy, but knowing you still had just a little bit of power against him at least; it made your heart beat in your pussy.
"you poor thing, need my help?" you pouted, faux sympathy written all over your face. the others watched in amusement and rafayel's horny-fucked brain couldn't even have the dignity to feel embarrassed.
"p-please... promise i'll be good, so good." he breathed out and you smiled in satisfaction, sitting up before pushing him back. rafayel now sat on the mattress, hungry eyes watching you sit back on your knees.
you leaned down, squishing his cock between your tits before sliding them up and down. rafayel's eyes screwed shut in pleasure, countless of goans and whimpers slipping out of his tongue; showering you endlessly with praise.
"y-yeah cutie, just like that... nghhh~ gonna make me cum." rafayel shamelessly moaned, mouth gape open as his breathing was uneven. you stuck your tongue out, lapping at his tip before wrapping your lips around it; suckling on it as if it was a lollipop.
you rubbed your tits together on his shaft, using your mouth to suck the rest. your drool trickled down from his swollen tip to the squishy tight slit created by your tits; making his cock slide with ease. the sounds produced was obscene, shlick shlick shlick. rafayel could feel his body tremble in pleasure, stroking your hair as his balls twitched.
"gonna cum! h-hahhh... p-please, cutie!" his lips were swollen from how much he bit them. soon enough, his hot cum was painting your tits, dripping down your nipples as his cock throbbed.
"fuck.." rafayel sighed, stroking your cheek as he glanced at what he did.
mentally clicking a picture to remember for the rest of his life when he fucks his fist to the thought of you.
"better?" you innocently batted your eyelashes, looking up at him with a dazed expression.
"you little minx." his breath hitched as you turned your face to the side, catching his thumb between your lips to give it a small suck before biting it playfully.
"you seem to be enjoying yourself a little too much, brat." you heard a daring voice break the moment, looking up to see a mean caleb glowering down at you.
you swallowed harshly, looking at rafayel for some help, but the cheeky lemurian only grinned at you; eyes twinkling with trouble as he moved away.
"you like being used like this, don't you? have you forgotten who's in control here?" now, xavier came into view as he scoffed, taking in your pitiful state.
"i think it's time that you learn your place." caleb suddenly pushed you towards the ash-blonde haired male, making you gasp as you were now sitting on his waist; hands pressed against his bare chest. you could feel the curve of xavier's hard cock press against your ass, making you unknowingly grind against the throbbing length of it to seek for some friction.
"tch, look at you. you're like a fuckin' bitch in heat." xavier snickers, holding down your hips with a bruising grip, making you wince. you felt the tip of his dick slip between your wet folds, his hands maneuvering your hips to help you glide on him. a breathy whimper leaves your lips, feeling his sticky tip caress your achy clit.
you hear the clinking sound of caleb's belt being undone and in what felt like mere seconds; you could feel his warm body heat radiating behind you. his lips grazed your nape, the tip of his nose gliding on your skin. he left wet kisses all over your neck and shoulder, trailing down the deep passage of your spine; making you arch forwards from your increased sensitivity.
xavier on the other hand fondled your tits, pinching and twisting your nipples. his fingers moved down, brushing against your hips. suddenly, you felt his tip prodding your tight hole, making you gulp.
they were all so fucking big and thick, you were wondering how you'd take them all. god, you couldn't even use process of elimination to figure out who'd be less painful to take in.
however, all that thinking flew straight out of your ears as xavier planted his feet on the mattress; harshly thrusting upwards into you. a croaky moan ripped out of your throat, your head lolling back to caleb's chest as you breathed heavy.
although xavier wasn't that thick, he was long as fuck; he couldn't even bottom out fully inside your cunt. you could feel his tip kissing your cervix. while caleb continued to place bite marks and lick at his work, xavier paid no mind to his counterpart; fucking you at a brutal pace.
"hnghh~ a-aahh... xav! w-wait!" you tried to slow him down, but that only made him go faster. he grabbed your hands which were resting on his lower stomach, pulling you forwards as you fell on his chest; away from caleb's touch.
the colonel scowled at the loss of your skin, glaring at the ash-blonde male in front of him. xavier didn't care, his hand finding purchase to the supple fatty flesh on your ass, spanking you hard as you yelped in pain and pleasure. your eyes squeezed shut, trying to form coherent words.
"you know i hate it when you don't look at me while i'm fucking you. open your eyes, y/n." he tapped your face, forcing you to look down at him. you bit your lips, trying to prevent another moan from flying out of your mouth, feeling xavier's cock rub your wet velvety walls just right.
his tip continued to bruise your cervix, his thrusts were deep and hard as he made sure you felt every inch of him in you. a ring of cream began to form at the base of his shaft, your juices dripping down to coat his heavy balls as you felt your thighs burning.
"hope you didn't forget about me, princess." caleb whispered, hovering behind you as you felt him grope your ass cheek. your eyes widened as you felt him spread them, his index finger gently grazing your other untouched tight hole.
"nghh.. wait, caleb! h-hahhh, never did it there before." you confessed, making him chuckle.
"well then, i'm glad to be your first here. don't worry, i'll make sure you're ready for me." caleb's words did seem genuine but rather because of the fact that he was about to touch you and feel you somewhere no one ever has.
you nodded at his words, too fucked out to even care about anything else. you were more focused on cumming, your cunt puffy and weeping from being neglected the last time your orgasm was denied; thanks to caleb.
so, you definitely didn't wanna get on his bad side again.
caleb spat on his fingers, bring it down to your ass before spreading the sticky spit on your hole. you soon felt his wet digit push through the tight ring of muscle, making you wince in pain as you breathed heavily.
"f-fuck... hurts.." you whined, but it would soon dissipate as xavier continued to drill into your pussy, distracting you from the pain of having caleb's finger in your ass.
it took some time but eventually the colonel was able to finger-fuck your ass with two of his fingers, meanwhile, xavier thrusted up into your leaky pussy that sheathed his throbbing cock. the ash-blonde haired male rubbed your clit to provide some more stimulation, your body trembling once you felt caleb withdrawing his fingers from inside you.
caleb sat on his knees, spreading your ass once more before leaning in, the tip of his tongue dragging from where you and xavier were connected; all the way up to your ass hole.
"ah! caleb!" you cried out, feeling him land a glob of spit on the tight hole before pulling away. caleb grabbed the base of his cock, his tip was a reddish-purple; angrily weeping precum as he stroked himself a few times. you could hear him groan behind you before feeling his wet tip squish against your hole.
"c'mere." caleb commanded, a hand coming down to gently grab your jaw, pulling you back to him. he tilts your head up, making you look into his eyes; leaning down to press his lips on yours in a searing kiss.
that's when you felt the burning stretch of his fat tip pushing past the tight ring of muscle in your ass, a pained cry leaving your lips, only to be muffled as he swallowed it; not letting go of your lips. tears pricked your eyes, feeling him slowly feed his cock into your tight ass, inch by inch.
the kiss with caleb was rough and messy, full of tongue and spit. the wet smacking sound of his lips clashing with yours as he drinks in your moans was so erotic. as his cock was now thrusted deep in your ass, he was kind enough to let you adjust to his size. his hand still firmly grabbing your jaw in place to not break away from the kiss while the other played with your tits.
meanwhile, xavier continued to give you nice slow and soft thrusts in your cunt, paying close attention to stimulate your clit. you were so full of both of their cocks, your mind was blank.
all you thought of was dick, dick, dick.
it was embarrassing and greedy, how full they made you feel, how good the burn felt as they both stretched out your holes.
it was definitely a pornographic sight.
as you grew used to having both of them inside you, caleb was the first to quicken his pace, pistoning his hips into you as his cock began to rub your walls. following in suit, xavier tried to match his rhythm, fucking your cunt with more rigor. your mouth gaped wide open, unable to respond to caleb's kiss anymore as you were too cock drunk.
"a-a..ahh! nghh~ feels so good!" you cried out in pleasure, feeling them both rub against the thin barrier that separated the two. you could feel your lower stomach churn in pleasure, your eyes rolling back as you began to drool from the corner of your mouth.
"what a dumb little slut, fucked your brains out already?" you heard xavier darkly chuckle, pinching your clit as you yelped at the sudden sharp sensation.
"p-please... wanna cum so bad! x..-xav.." your throat was parched as you tried to control your breathing, your lower stomach tightening as you could feel the familiar build-up of your orgasm.
"tch, you're moaning his name when i'm stuffing you full of my dick? where are your manners, pipsqueak?" caleb's tone was gravely, glaring at you with a look that could only make your knees grow weak, his grip on your jaw tightening just a little to remind you he was still here; balls deep in you.
"s-sor.. hgnhh.. sorry! please, c..caleb.." you stammered out, feeling the alternating push and withdraw of their cocks syncing together; turning your brain into mush.
displeased with your switch up, xavier yanked you forwards by your arm, squishing your cheeks together.
"you deceitful vixen, running to him when you don't get what you want? i'm the one taking care of this slutty pussy and you have the nerve to beg him? the fuck is wrong with you." xavier seethed with anger, his hips bucking into yours with more intensity; making you wail out in pleasure.
"i'm sor-" you tried to helplessy apologize again, only to be pulled back by caleb; the start of a tug-of-war as if you were a toy.
"don't fucking apologize to him, princess. you're mine, so when i say that you can cum, then you cum." caleb whispered, making you shiver as you sniffled out a cry.
"please.. fuck, please- i can't! t..too much.." you whimpered, making them both scoff.
"you can take it." both caleb and xavier sneered, making you whine.
"ungrateful brat, wanting us both and now you're saying it's too much?" xavier slapped your clit, making you jolt. you felt caleb bite down on your shoulder, the cold metal of his dog tag pressed against your warm, flushed skin.
you felt them twitch inside you, throbbing thick cocks rubbing against your insides. caleb and xavier continued to slide in and out of you, making your body grow hot.
"fuck, fuck, please! s-so close..!" you breathed out, feeling xavier's thrusts grow sloppy as with one final hard thrust; he emptied his balls inside you. his thick, warm cum filled your cunt as you quivered, his hips still rolling back in you.
your head was spinning, both of their scents were intoxicating. their hands were groping, slapping and stroking every bit of skin exposed to their lustful eyes. both caleb and xavier's thrusts held no mercy, battering your cunt and ass as your thighs felt like jelly. you squealed, feeling your walls tightening as you desperately squirmed, trying to lift yourself off and escape.
"where are you going? don't run away, i'm not done yet." caleb yanked you back to him. caleb's grunts and groans got louder by your ear, his arm wrapping around your stomach to hold you down in place; his cock fully in your ass as he shot fat wads of his sticky cum.
before you could process anything, they sadistically exchanged a cruel smirk, pulling out of you as your holes gushed out an obscene amount of their mixed cum.
"n-no! no! hnghh.. w-why.." you sobbed at the loss of contact, the fullness of their cocks gone as your orgasm was destroyed for the second time.
"since we weren't enough, why don't you go ask the others." caleb pushed you to the side, making you collapse on the mattress as tears ran down your cheek.
you looked up and noticed sylus and rafayel looking down at you, an unwavering glint pinned on your ruined form as they waited for your next move. it was humiliating, how you were begging them to let you cum; but it was too much.
you were going insane, needing some relief.
you weakly crawled to sylus and rafayel, sniffling as your body began to shake. your thighs were dripping with xavier and caleb's cum, your messy holes pulsing and aching.
"sy.. raf.. please, make me cum. i-i... i promise i'll be a good girl." you desperately pleaded, fat teardrops running down your flushed cheeks; making them both groan as your pathetic state only made their cocks harden.
"poor little kitten, they were so mean to you, weren't they?" sylus cooed as he wiped your tears away, tone honeyed with gentleness but with an undertone of mischief.
you nodded helplessly, leaning into his touch as you nuzzled your cheeks into his palm. you kissed the inside of his hand, licking the warm and rough skin.
just like a kitten.
sylus grinned at your antics, amused at how compliant you were. however, he wasn't that mean; he'd humor you.
"need us to make her feel better, cutie?" rafayel teasingly spoke, long fingers running across your slit as you whimpered; the tip of his digits circling your clit.
"mmphh, y-yes... please.." you bit down on your lip, tasting the metallic taste of blood.
"alright, sweetie. we'll help you." sylus chortled, leaning against the headboard. he grabbed your hips, spinning you around in one fluid motion, your back now facing him. he then lifted you up before placing you on his waist, as if you weighed nothing.
you yelped as sylus hooked his beefy arms under your thighs, pulling them up to your head; putting you in a mean full nelson. the sudden pressure and stretch made your cunt gush out more of the cum that was fucked into you earlier, soaked pussy lips spread apart as you were now exposed and on display in a very vulnerable position.
"s-sylus!" you shyly meeked, making him hum.
"what? don't be selfish, sweetie. you know the fish is an artist, let him see this masterpiece." sylus bit your earlobe.
rafayel settled between sylus's legs, now in front of you as he shamelessly stared at your messy folds. he salivated as it took everything in him to not just lean down and makeout with your tempting cunt.
"stop lookin'." you whined, feeling how intense his gaze was. however, rafayel just gave you a breathy chuckle.
"why not? she's sooooo pretty." he licked his lips, flashing you a boyish grin, making your heart leap into your throat.
the lemurian lowered his head, pressing gentle kisses on your soft stomach, dragging his lips up your navel until he reached your tits. he sighed in bliss, smoothering his face between your boobs as he kissed and licked the mounds of flesh.
his dick rested on top of your pussy, sticky tip parting your folds as he rutted his hips; sliding the length of his cock against your slick covered cunt. his tip repeatedly nudged your clit, rubbing it as you moaned in bliss from the heavenly contact.
your hand found purchase in his dusky, purple hair; carding your fingers through his soft locks. you tugged on his hair, making him moan as the vibration rumbling from his lips were felt on your nipple as he sucked; making you choke out a moan.
the silver haired male kissed your temple, smiling.
"come on, sweetie, need you to hold your legs up for me so i can take care of you." his voice was groggy, releasing your legs before grabbing your hands to help you lift them as you obeyed.
"there you go, good girl." sylus praised, grabbing the base of his cock, swiping it a few times between your messy folds, nudging his tip on your hole. you moaned at the feel of his cock deliciously rubbing against your aching pussy.
"p-please... nghh- no more teasing." you were breathless, feeling rafayel once again capture your nipple in his mouth, suckling as if his purpose in life was to worship your tits.
"if you say so, sweetie." sylus compliantly shoved his inches in you, feeding your greedy hole his hard dick. your jaw dropped, eyes rolling back as his fat girth stretched your cunt; sliding in with ease because of your arousal along with xavier and caleb's shared cum.
rafayel watched your hole eagerly swallow up sylus's cock, gulping at the sight as his dick was painfully hard; globs of precum dripping onto your clit.
"so tight even after all that? how cute." sylus lets out a huff, slowly moving his hips upwards to give you some slow and deep strokes; tip squishing against your cervix.
"h-hnghh... fuck... feels so good, sy." you moaned, turning your head to the side to capture his lips in a sweet kiss. he happily accepted, sucking on your bottom lip before swiping his tongue against it for permission to explore your mouth.
his hands firmly grabbed your hips before planting his feet on the mattress, grounding both himself and you before pounding upwards into your dripping cunt. your mouth flew open from his sudden shift in pace, and he took that chance to shove his tongue in your mouth; exploring every cavern and crevice. both of your tongues mingled and tangled, sucking and licking as drool trickled down your chin.
"fuck, cutie... you look so hot like this; it's tempting. i can't let the crow have all the fun now, can i?" rafayel's fingers stroked your thigh, leaning down to kiss your plush thighs, gently biting the soft skin.
"ahhh... raf.." you whimpered, biting your lip as you feel his tip poke your ass hole. you released one of your legs, pressing your foot on his chest to stop him.
"hm?" the lemurian tilts his head in confusion at your sudden action, stopping his advances.
"n-not there... need you and sy at the same time.." you licked your dry lips, words barely coming out as a whisper. rafayel's eyes widened at your request, sylus's ruby orbs mirroring the same bewilderment.
"naughty girl, you want us both in this sweet cunt of yours? you think you can handle it?" sylus teased, a cocky smirk painted on his lips.
you nodded frantically, your foot running down rafayel's chest as you looked up at him with a cheeky smile; eyes barely open as you gazed at him with a dazed look.
"i can handle it, p-promise." you assured, making rafayel grin.
"well you heard her, crow. make some space." he grabbed the base of his shaft, now aligning his cock with your hole that was already occupied with sylus's thick cock. the silver haired male scoffed, rolling his eyes before momentarily stopping his thrusts; letting rafayel ease into you.
a screamish-moan ripped out of your throat, your walls clamping instinctively on both of their cocks; both men grunting in response as the space became tighter. your eyes swelled with tears, the salty warm fluid streaming down your cheeks as you tried to adjust to the painful stretch of having two giant cocks lodged in your cunt at the same time.
"shh... there, there, pretty girl. it's okay." rafayel tried to console you, his words barely making it to a full sentence before his voice betrayed him; a strangled whimper slipping off his tongue.
"i gotcha, sweetie." sylus mumbled against the skin of your nape, his hand snaking around your waist, fingers finding your clit as he began to rub soothing circles on the bundle of nerves to distract you.
the both of them allowed you to adjust to their cocks, providing additional stimulation to help you relax so that your walls aren't as tense. rafayel's teeth grazed your nipples, teasing and flicking the pebbled buds while sylus's fingers worked their magic to affectionately pinch and stroke your clit.
"nghh~ feels good... hnnghh- need more." you whined, moving your hips on your own accord, wincing as you could feel both of their dicks rubbing against your velvety wet walls.
"ya sure you're ready, cutie? we have all night." rafayel let out a shaky laugh, half-joking.
"moveee." you bucked your hips, making sylus chuckle.
"someone's impatient, not that i mind." with that being said, sylus once again began to slowly thrust into your pussy. he grunted, feeling his cock graze against rafayel's, the sensation feeling a little weird but he ignored that fact.
rafayel moaned at the sudden friction, his hand wrapping around your calf to push it by your head; mirroring your other leg which you still held up obediently. rafayel leaned closer, pressing against you before latching his lips onto your; kissing you senselessly.
you moaned into his mouth, feeling the both of them pistoning into your tight, dripping hole. rafayel hissed as he felt your fingers tug his hair, angling your jaw to deepend the kiss.
the room was full of wet skin slapping followed by the lewd sound of your pussy gushing out your juices; coating their cocks in your arousal as it dribbled down to their balls. rafayel's lips continued to suck and kiss at your swollen and bitten once; his tongue suckling with yours before pulling away as a string of saliva connected you two.
he pushed himself off of you, bringing the leg he held for you towards him. he kissed your ankle, running the tip of his tongue down to your calf before kitten-biting the flesh of it.
"mmphh... you taste so fucking sweet." rafayel swore under his breath, thrusting his cock deeper into your weeping hole. sylus followed in suit, both of their tips bruising your cervix.
"shit... you're taking us both so well, sweetie." sylus praised, now matching the movement of his fingers that were once leisurely rubbing your clit to the pace of his thrusts.
in seconds, everything shifted.
their gazes darkened, clouded with need and hunger. you squealed, feeling both sylus and rafayel thrusting in and out of your cunt with no mercy as their movement didn't falter.
not once.
they were so perfectly synced together, as if they were one.
"a-ahhhh~... f-fuck! please, please, please! so close... god! i'm gonna cum!" you choked on your tears as you sobbed, the pleasure you were feeling was intense.
your eyes rolled back, toes curled as you were gasping for air. both men grunted and moaned; focusing on chasing their high.
"how bad you want it, kitten?" sylus groaned, fucking his hips upward as you whimpered.
"so bad, fuck, need it so bad!" you desperately answered, convinced that you wouldn't survive another ruined orgasm.
"yeah? ask nicely, where are your manners, cutie?" rafayel snickered, driving his hips into your; pelvis meeting yours with brutal thrusts that made your body jerk.
"h-hahhhh... oh my god...- please, please, please. let me cum? i promise i'll be good, so fuckin' good. please raf... sy... need it so bad." you threw out every last ounce of dignity within yourself to beg them with your last bit of voice.
both men, clearly satisfied with your answer, feed your cunt with their cocks using an unforgiving pace of thrusts. rafayel's hips were a bit sloppier, but they were fast and needy, like he was scared that you'd disappear. in contrast, sylus's pace was slow but his thrusts were hard and deep; making sure his tip met your cervix with every movement of his hips.
"fuck, fuck, fuck..." the silver haired male let out a guttural moan, eyes screwed shut as he could feel his cock pulsate; vein twitching as blood flowed with adrenaline.
rafayel shamelessly moaned on top of you, panting like a dog as he continued to fuck his dick into your wet hole.
"open your mouth." he demanded and too fucked out to even decipher his intentions, you obeyed. rafayel spat into your mouth, the thick glob of spit coating your tongue before you swallowed it.
"good girl." rafayel grunted, feeling his balls tightening as he was close to cumming as well.
your stomach knotted, the build-up of your orgasm even more stronger as your gummy walls clamped down on their cocks viciously.
"auughh~ i'm cumming! fuck.. hnghh..." you choked out a moan, eyes screwed shut as hot liquid squirted out of your cunt; coating rafayel's lower abdomen. you creamed on their cocks, body twitching as you feel both of them creampie you; shoving their sticky and gooey cum deep into your womb.
your juices and their cum dripped down your thigh, coating sylus's balls as you could hear his breathing become uneven from the aftermath of such intense pleasure. rafayel collapsed on top of you, still mindful to not crush you with his entire weight.
"so tired..." he childishly whined, biting your nipple playfully as you huffed.
"you're heavy, raf, get off." you grumbled, making him pout as he smoothered his face between your boobs once again.
"nah, you're too soft." he argued, making you roll your eyes.
"i feel sticky and gross.." you mumbled, noticing how the room was a bit more quieter. xavier was passed out on the couch and caleb left the room a few minutes ago for whatever reason; zayne watching the whole scene intently from the edge of the bed.
you locked eyes with him, noticing the slight blush on his face. he cleared his throat, looking away.
"perhaps a hot shower might be nice." he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.
"yeah, it does sound tempting." you hummed.
"need some help, sweetie?" sylus offered, but his tone had a hint of mischief.
"i got it." zayne suddenly spoke up, walking over to where you were sandwhiched between rafayel and sylus. he pushed the groggy lemurian over, making him groan.
"hey! i was comfy." rafayel complained, making the doctor roll his eyes.
"it's my place, surely i know my bathroom better." sylus snickered, making zayne narrow his eyes.
"if i could perfom hundreds of heart surgeries, i'm sure i can figure out how to work your damn shower." zayne snarked back with an equal amount of bite, making the silver haired male smirk.
"touche, she's all yours, doc." sylus chuckled.
zayne sighed, scooping you up in his arms before heading into the bathroom; locking the door behind him.
"you look... fucked." he blurted out, making you laugh at his dry comment.
"wow, thanks, i didn't know." you playfully rolled your eyes, making him crack a small smile.
"that was... intense. after you shower, i could get you some painkillers to help with any soreness. can you stand?" zayne asked with a flicker of concern in his hazel orbs, settling you on your legs and lightly loosening his grip; only for your knees to wobble as you held onto his bicep for support.
"i guess not." he answered his own question, making you chuckle.
"mind helping me out, doc?" you asked, peering up at him with a girly smile. zayne felt his heart skip a beat, heat creeping up to his neck.
it's not like this would be his first time being intimate with you, but you still made him feel incredibly nervous.
"if you insist, then i don't mind." his tone was soft and gentle. you smiled at his agreement, taking off his glasses. you leaned onto the sink for support, watching him undo his tie before unbuttoning his shirt; revealing his chiseled chest.
fuck, his physique was like a greek god.
he undid his belt, zipping down his pants before kicking them off together with his boxers; his cock springing to life as his pinkish tip was a little swollen while dripping with precum. you leaned forwards, now pressed against him as your bare chest rubbed against his.
zayne groaned at the intimate skinship, his cock rubbing against your soft thighs. your hand reached down, grabbing the shaft as you experimentally gave it a few strokes.
"let me take care of you." your voice was a bare whisper, making him shudder. but, to your surprise, he shook his head.
"no, you don't have to do this for me, i'll get myself off or something. just ignore it, okay?" zayne tried to convince you, but it only made you frown.
"but i want to... i've been wanting to feel you the whole night." you pressed soft kisses along his jawline, making him swallow harshly as you saw his adam's apple bob.
"then let me make it up to you since that bastard pulled me away from you. i'll make you feel good, baby." he lifted your hips, your legs automatically wrapping around his waist as his cock was now nestled between your folds.
he walked inside the shower, pulling the glass doors to close it before turning on the water; adjusting the temperature. you cupped his face, pulling him closer to yours to seal his lips with yours.
zayne moaned into your mouth, molding his lips with yours as he softly kneaded your ass. your tongue poked his bottom lip, seeking for entry which he happily granted. you kissed him with a needy vigor, sucking his tongue as you stroked his wet jet black hair.
pulling away breathlessly, zayne looked down at you with swollen lips. he attacked your neck with kisses, making your whimper as you felt his tongue graze your flesh, softly tracing the hickies left on your skin with the tip of his tongue. he moved down to your tits, sucking your nipples as your hand held the back of his head; pushing him closer as you moaned.
"mhmm... feels so good, zayne." you praised, watching him tug your nipple between his teeth before giving it a deserving suck. he soon lets go of your swollen bud, hazel eyes meeting yours.
"i'll be gentle, okay?" he assured, making your chest feel warm and fuzzy as you nodded; wrapping your arms around his neck.
zayne grabbed the base of his cock, tapping your clit a few times, making you jolt. he smirked at how responsive your body was, aligning his tip with your hole. with a firm grip on your hips, he begin to sink you down on his hard cock, slowly shoving his inches inside you.
your mouth formed an 'o' shape as your eyes shut tight, feeling full as he bottomed out.
"s-so full.." you moaned, feeling him slowly thrust inside of you as the curve of his dick molded so perfectly in your wet walls. you clenched down on him, making him grunt at the sudden tightness.
"you feel so good, babygirl." zayne whispered, pressing a gentle kiss on your cheek and temple before sliding you up and down his dick. you rested your head on his shoulder, inhaling his scent as you kissed his neck.
this felt so new compared to what happened just minutes ago. the others fought over you like you were some piece of meat to claim; but zayne treated you like you were made of glass.
he was so gentle with his touches and strokes, you could almost cry.
zayne's tip nudged your cervix with every push of his hips, now having you pressed against the wall to have a better hold of you so that he can drive his hips into yours faster. your cunt weeped with arousal, gummy walls coated with his precum.
his thrusts were sharp yet slow, making sure it applied the right amount of pressure and friction to make you feel like you were seeing stars. his balls slapped against your ass, your nipple between his lips.
"hnghh.. love your cock, zyane. g-gonna cum.." you let out a shaky breath, clenching down on him as your increased sensitivity betrayed your body, not allowing you to hold onto your orgasm for too long.
"it's okay, baby. you can cum." he grunted against the wet skin of your tits and you didn't realize how intimate and erotic the whole sight was.
a choked out whimper escaped your throat, your cunt clamping down on him as you squirted all over his cock. your body twitched and trembled at your orgasm, panting as you leaned against his chest.
"shit, please... i need you to fill me up." you begged and that's all it took him to bust a fat load of his thick, hot cum inside your hole.
"fuck.." he swore and god it sounded so hot coming from his mouth.
the bathroom was filled with the sounds of uneven breathing and the running showerhead.
⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪
you stirred awake, groaning as you now laid on your back. sunlight beamed into your room, making your eyes burn as you tried to crack one of them.
"fuckin' hell.." you cursed under your breath, adjusting your vision as you sat up on your bed. your head was swirling as you held it in pain, wincing.
it was all a dream.
you slapped yourself, not believing how delusional you became to believe that whatever the hell that was could be reality.
"yeah, i'm losing it." you sighed deeply, scratching your head. you tapped your phone screen, reading the time as your eyes blew wide open.
fuck, it was well past noon, meaning you missed your morning classes already.
"you're kidding me." you huffed out in annoyance, leaning back on the headboard as you unlocked your phone.
you saw the many, many, many missed calls from your best friend; making you snort.
as you swiped through your applications, your eyes fell on the love and deepspace icon. memories of your strange dream replayed fresh in your memory, your body weirdly aching.
you brushed off those thoughts, clicking the icon as you wondered if infold fixed those weird bugs and glitches by now. you were surprised to see the app back into shape, running in good quality as you logged in with ease.
"huh, weird." you mumbled to yourself, calmly collecting your daily’s.
until you realized you had five unread messages.
hey pipsqueak, hope you're not still mad at me for being a bit mean to ya. i'll cook for you when you come back :p
hope you're not missing me too much, sweetie. come back and i'll take you for a joyride.
cutieeee! i miss you already :C come back soon, okay? need my personal pillow back.
if your throat is still sore, come back so we can have hotpot together. it'll be my treat.
have you taken those painkillers like i told you to?
your jaw was wide open, not believing your eyes. these texts seemed way too real to be automated.
"what the fuck." you quickly opened your front camera, only to see the faint purplish marks decorating your neck.
holy shit, all of that was real.
a smirk etched on your face as you quickly tapped the facetime app, ringing the only person you knew could stand this news and have a silver of faith in you to be convinced.
"finally decided to call me back? thought you died in your sleep or something." your best friend nagged at you, making you chuckle.
"you won't believe what happened last night." you giggle, making her roll her eyes at you.
"let me guess, you had a dream about all the lads guys fucking your brains out." she responded with a bored voice.
"even better."
---
a/n: hehe, if you made it to the end, kuddos to you cuz rereading through this was a pain the ass. if you couldn't tell by now, this was very self-indulgent, so i got carried away. hope you guys enjoyed it tho!!
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aakeysmash · 3 months ago
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Pregnancy cravings
Farmer!Sukuna’s masterlist
Farmer!Sukuna thought dealing with your pregnancy cravings would be a walk in the park. I mean, come on, you two are basically self sufficient: he’s literally a farmer, what could you possibly crave that he doesn’t already have planted or stored?
Your cravings hit at the start of your second trimester. You’re barely showing, and probably the fact that nothing you eat stays in your stomach for more than two hours isn’t helping your case.
It’s winter and it’s snowing: your fields are currently covered in snow, your chickens are huddled up in their coop, your cows are sleeping in their heated stable… and you? You’re reading a book right in front of your fireplace. Sukuna gets home with his arms full of logs to keep the fire alive all night. He sets them on the ground before plopping down next to you with snow clinging to his hair.
“Get off, your nose is cold,” you mumble, pushing him away when he tries to give you a kiss. He raises one of his eyebrows, kissing you on the cheek either way (two times, to spite you). You let out a dramatic whine.
He chuckles, ruffling his hair and wetting your book’s pages with a couple of snowflakes. Annoyed, you roughly close the book, and turn around to give him a piece of your mind, just to find yourself wrapped in his arms.
“I said get off,” you repeat, softer, leaning in despite your words. His body heat is doing a better job than the fire at thawing the chill from your limbs.
“And I don’t care,” he replies nonchalantly. He kisses your temple, cocooning you deeper into him by opening his legs and tucking you into the space in front of him. You grumble something unintelligible.
“How are the only two people I can stand doing today?” He asks you, rocking you side by side. Seeing you pregnant makes him feel uncomfortably soft. And seeing you pregnant with his child? Oh god.
“I want ice cream.”
He stops.
“Huh?”
“More like your offspring wants ice cream,” you sniffle from under his jaw.
“I don’t think we have any in the freezer,” he responds, looking you in the eyes. Your lip starts wobbling.
“But I want it,” you brokenly say, trying to swallow your sobs. His heart clenches.
“I don’t think you’ll be able to have it today,” he says, and immediately regrets it when your eyes well up with tears.
“C’mon, don’t cry now, it’s just ice cream,” he tries to comfort you. Apparently he does a horrible job, because you start bawling.
“But I want it! And I hate that I want it so bad! You know how much I hate playing the weak and fragile woman part, why are you being mean?” you wail, shoving him away and getting up. You quickly go to the kitchen to drink a glass of water, the duvet that was covering you mere seconds ago acting as your cloak.
“No, babe, I’m not-“
You snap your head back angrily, levelling him with a hostile glare. “Yes you are! You’re being mean when it’s your fault I’m like this!” You motion to your body.
“Actually, you begged for it, wife,” he shrugs, a corner of his mouth lifting. He doesn’t expect the punch you throw at his chest.
“Don’t ever come near me again,” you seethe, drinking your water and flying up the stairs. He sighs, rubbing his temples, wincing when he hears you sniffle again.
After ten minutes he knocks on your bedroom door- the same one you not-so-gracefully threw in his face.
“C’mon. Get out,” he grits out. Who knew dealing with a pregnant woman would strip him of the little patience he still has left?
“No. You value me less than ice cream.”
He sighs. “What can I do t’ make you forgive me?” He hears the soft pit pat of your sock-clad feet on the floor before the door creaks open. From the last few months, he'd say your mood swing should be finished by now.
You gently lower the handle, looking at his condescending espression. Then you sag your shoulder, gazing at the floor.
"You big crybaby. C'mere," he smirks, opening his arms. You bury your head in his shoulder, and he pats your hair mockingly.
"I still want ice cream, though," you mumble.
"I'll go get it at the city right now if ya stop crying," he chuckles. He widens his eyes, realizing that... he caught himself too late.
You abruptly step back. He winces.
"And you'd leave me here all alone?! Why don't you love me anymore?!"
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envy-of-the-apple · 9 months ago
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Moon Starves Sun (FULL VERSION)
Dark!Gojo Satoru x reader
Word Count: 5.8k
Part one: Sun Eats Moon
Part two: Earth Kills Moon
(Warnings: forced relationship, implied nsfw content, implied noncon/dubcon, dark content, implied baby trapping)
When Satoru's close like this, he can hear your heartbeat. 
It's been a while. Ten years. An entire decade. Everything about this is different, yet so familiar. He feels like he's finally reached the shores, feeling the warm sands underneath his feet. Like he's been given his favorite food after being starved for years. Everything melts. Everything except for you. 
He'd like to stay like this forever, listening to your rabbit heartbeat, feeling your soft skin, but for your sake, he pulls himself off you. Lying on a wooden desk probably isn't that comfortable. 
Your eyes are shut. Your breathing is shallow. You're so pretty like this under the moonlight. Your clothes are barely hanging onto your body. He can see every mark he's left on you. Part of him wants to make more, but he'll let you off the hook for now. He's nice like that. 
"Still with me?" 
Your eyes flutter open. You don't respond, but at least you're not crying anymore. He can work with that. 
"C'mon, pretty girl," he says, voice soft, "let's piece you back together." 
The belt left lines on your wrists. He'll kiss them better later. For now, Satoru collects your clothes and heels from the floor, placing them on the desk. He helps you reclasp your bra, runs his fingers on your arms when you finish buttoning your blouse. It's a quiet affair. Every so often, he'd catch your eyes. You don't let yourself linger for long. Satoru finds that a little cute. 
You say nothing when he wraps an arm around your waist, guiding you out of his office. Maybe you're still dazed, still gathering yourself back up, because you don't struggle as much as he predicted. You try to leave his grip when the two of you reach the lobby. He's quick to stop you. 
"Where, do you think you're goin'?" He grips your wrist when you take a step away. 
You look at him, eyes shimmering like water. 
You swallow. "My apartment. I—I need to go back—" 
He clicks his tongue, bringing you back in. 
"We can get your stuff later." He tells you with a grin. "let's just go home, tonight. I'm exhausted." 
You open your mouth. Satoru waits. You say nothing, and he thinks you're starting to get it. 
The moon is a dusky red tonight. Satoru thinks it's an ugly color. 
If Satoru could describe you in one word, it would be: predicatable. 
Normal, boring, a speck in the crowd—none of these are bad things. Just like how much of the universe is nothing, you're an empty void, too. Not everyone can be like him. From the minute he was born, Satoru was destined for greatness—a prodigy, heir to a millionaire conglomerate, the Sun itself. His life isn't written on his forehead for everyone to read. 
You are the exact opposite. Completely unassuming. He practically knows everything about you without even having to ask. 
Like how Satoru can instantly tell you've never been over to a boy's room before. 
You've probably never even been in a relationship before him, either. Even before he managed to corral you into his arms, you were always so annoying about the other things like school and friends. Though, you don't really have much of the latter anymore. His fault, Suguru never fails to remind him. 
He watches as your eyes linger over his shelf: the numerous trophies and awards. You're still standing meekly in the corner, still garbed in your school uniform, clutching your backpack. He has to roll his eyes at how obviously you're trying not to look at him. 
"What're you waitin' for?" He finally asks. You jump, eyes flitting over to find him before you find the floor. He resists the urge to roll his eyes again.
It's not like you two haven't done shit before. You sucked him off twice now, and he's finger fucked you against the bleachers. You should really stop being such a prude. 
"C'mere, pretty girl." 
You comply, dropping your bag, making your way to the bed. When you look at him from beneath your lashes, warily expectant, Satoru feels a thrill rushing through his body. 
He's always been impatient. It's in his nature to take. He nips at your mouth, eager to taste your soul from your soft lips. Soft. Everything about you is so soft—Malleable beneath his fingers. 
Satoru didn't explicitly say what his plan was, but you aren't stupid. He can tell you know what's about to happen when you stiffen in his hold, turn to stone within his grip. He would've allowed it if you hadn't gripped onto his shirt, pulling yourself away from his feasting. 
"Satoru?" You whisper, still leaning away. "The door...?" 
Annoyed, he glances over. His room is open. It shouldn't really matter. 
"It's fine." Satoru tells you. "No one's here." No one's ever here. 
You still look panicked, hands gripping his shirt. Satoru finds that adorably pathetic. How helpless you are. How that's all because of him.
He's sure to make a big show of it. Satoru gives a dramatic sigh, slumps his shoulders, but eventually pushes himself off the mattress to push at the door. He even clicks it shut. He's too nice, sometimes. 
"Happy?" You nod, you don't look very relaxed but your shoulders have dropped a bit. 
Satoru doesn't feel too guilty pushing you down, not when you're already in his bed. He isn't known for his patience. He tastes your skin, leaving marks when he can: teeth bites. He pushes you down down down down so he can sink his teeth into your flesh.
You're asleep and under the covers by the time he's done. The moon's out too. Satoru watches it, largely unimpressed. It's so tiny, a sliver of glowing white. 
And then you shift, turning ever so slightly, enough to catch his attention. He should probably kick you out and send you home. That's what he usually does. When he gets into bed with you, draping his arms around your limp body, he convinces himself it's because he's tired and waking you up would be too much of an effort. 
He lets himself enjoy your warmth; it's nothing like the cold glow of the moon. 
Sometimes, even Gojo Satoru wonders if he's dreaming. 
Sometimes, life is too perfect for him to realize it is real. Everything falls perfectly in place, fitting together like those jigsaw puzzles his caretakers used to distract him with halfheartedly. 
You're in his kitchen, chopping vegetables. 
It had already been a few weeks, but he still wasn't used to this. You, being in his home, in his kitchen, in his bed. Satoru thinks he's masking it well, but his mind is still reeling, it's a difficult adjustment. 
Not a bad one. 
It's like he's been drowning for years and he can suddenly breathe when he sees your toothbrush next to his. It's like he's been stabbed and waking up to your sleeping face is the aloe. It's like he's been suffering through a blizzard, and you cooking in his kitchen, humming a song he doesn't know, is the warm sunny day. 
Things have changed since he brought you home. His home doesn't feel incomplete anymore. As though the apartment itself has agreed that this is where you belong. There are more clothes in his closet, more shoes by the door. The space is ever so slightly less empty and it fills him with tangible relief. He can cook a meal, but it's still nice coming home to something warm already made. 
It makes Satoru wonder what things could have been like, had it not been taken away from him. 
You flinch when he wraps his hands around your waist, nestling into the space in your shoulder. You hadn't heard him come in, apparently. Regardless, you don't linger, fingers hesitating before resuming your task. He finds this part of you adorable. Ignoring the thing that makes your heart race, as though he'll just fade away into the shadows. 
It's his ego that makes him slink into your warm skin, making sure you know he isn't going anywhere. 
"Smells good," he says. 
You nod, pushing away the bell peppers in favor of the onions. Unlike him, you acclimated extremely well. It'd taken nothing to lightly push you to add more and more stuff from your apartment to his. You quietly moved from one setting to another. He remembered this trait of yours from high school. Go with the flow. 
Though, perhaps, it was less out of genuine apathy. Satoru doesn't have to say what will happen to you if you refuse him. He doesn't have to throw lectures about his family and the influence he has on you. He likes that you aren't stupidly brave. He likes that you're meeker, quieter. You pick your battles. 
But he thinks he'd like to see you crack, just one more time. 
"Hey," he says, "let's go out for dinner tomorrow night. There's this restaurant just out of town that has great shrimp cutlet." 
He expects you to nod, like you always do whenever he decides to do something impulsive and meaningless. Instead, you bite your lip. 
"I can't." You mutter after a minute of silence. "I have work. Mr. Higuruma just closed a deal and—and I think I'll be coming home later and later this week." 
Home. It's enough to make his heart flutter. It's the first time you've called the apartment that. Your words almost make him forget about the second thing you said.
Higuruma. The lawyer guy with dead eyes. Satoru remembers him. He always looked at Satoru like he was a child, too stupid to do anything. He never liked how the guy looked at you. Besides, he was way too old for you, never mind that you were taken. You were always taken.
"Oh, right." Satoru gives an exaggerated sigh, fully leaning on you. "Work. What a shame." 
You nod, clearly thinking the conversation is done with. Satoru wasn't so charitable. 
"Y'know, you don't really have to work. Not anymore, pretty girl." His grip on your waist tightens ever so slightly as he pulls you towards his chest. Your hands freeze. The knife glints in your fingers. 
"I make plenty of money. You should just stay home. That way, you don't have to work shitty hours." 
You stiffen underneath his fingertips. He's disappointed when your skin turns frigid. When he peeks over your shoulder, intent to look at your face, there's a nervous smile twitching on your lips. 
"I don't think that's a good idea..." you trail off hesitantly. 
"Hm?" He tilts his head with faux confusion. "Why not?" 
The knife moves up and down, as though you can't decide whether to place it back on the cutting board. Satoru realizes it's your way of fidgeting. 
"It...it would just be unprofessional to leave when everything is so hectic." You finally decide on. 
Satoru scoffs. "So? Who cares. I'm sure everything will work itself out. Just rely on me, pretty girl." 
You don't like the answer, but you don't make a comment on it. Satoru just watches you rotate the knife in your hands. He wonders if you want to use it on him. Slice at his neck, leave him out to bleed on the pretty tile floor. Cut straight through his heart, ending it quickly. 
Or would you like to carve out his eye and keep it as a souvenir? He thinks he'd happily let you. It sounds romantic.
You don't do anything. Instead, you pull back your shoulders as if you're physically ready for war. 
"'Toru," you say gently, softly, and it works in his eyes, "I...can't let you support me like this. It's not right. It's not like we're married or anything." You laugh, like it's a joke. Satoru doesn't cave. 
"I mean, not yet." Satoru rocks you back and forth in his hold. "But gimme' some time to shop for a ring, okay? It needs to be perfect for my perfect girl." 
You follow his movements. He can see your mouth twitch out of the corner of his eye. Your eyes get glassy. 
He knows he's terrible, but he really wants you to crack. 
"You're right, Satoru." You say, "I'll put in my two weeks tomorrow." He grins in delight. 
"That's a great idea, baby." Satoru kisses you on the cheek.
Right, you pick your battles. 
Satoru tells you he loves you, and you're gone, not even three days later. 
He breaks and shatters into pieces he'll never be able to put back. Each day without you is torture. He feels like a corpse, just going through the motions. His clothes feel looser. His skin doesn't feel like his own anymore. Every time he looks in the mirror, he sees someone he barely even recognizes. 
It's like you left with his heart. 
No, you ran away with his soul. 
One day, you were Satoru's, safely tucked underneath his arm...the next, you just weren't. 
His parents don't acknowledge it beyond casual disgust. Every time Suguru talks to him, Satoru can barely comprehend it. Days pass by. Everything reminds him of you. His bed feels emptier; he hates it when he reaches out to the space you used to take up and finds it cold. Your locker remains untouched. Nothing is ever the same. 
Satoru tries looking for you, but you're untraceable. No social media, no friends left to tell where you went, not even your fucking parents know where you are. 
You left him. 
You left him to rot. 
Denial comes first. It can't be. You wouldn't. You wouldn't fucking dare. Anger seeps in the next. For weeks, Satoru can only imagine what he'll do when he finds you. He'll break your legs this time. He'll squeeze your neck so hard that your head pops. He'll kill you over and over again until your corpse is begging to be forgiven. And he won't ever stop, because you're Satoru's. 
That doesn't stay for long. He feels himself get weaker day by day. Food tastes like dirt on his tongue. Any of his earlier vices are gone. 
He misses you. 
Why wouldn't he? You were his everything. 
Like all things, it passes. You aren't there to fuel the flames, so the fire wanes in his chest. The ache in his heart gets smaller and smaller. Things keep him busy. College. Then, his new position in the office. 
Ten years pass. He’s forgotten what you look like. But he remembers parts. Every so often, he sees a flicker of you within someone else. Your eyes are on another woman’s face. Your lips on a girl's smile. It irritates him to no end. It’s even worse when he starts seeking them out, keeping those parts of them for just the night. 
Sometimes, if he closes his eyes, he can still hear your voice—what he thinks is your voice—soft, needy Toru Toru Toru. 
“Gojo, sir?” 
He blinks. Ijichi stands in front of him. Satoru looks down at the meticulously crafted pages. 
“Mr. Higuruma needed you to sign this,” Ijichi lifts a paper filled with bureaucratic bullshit he pays other people to understand.
Why did Suguru take off now? 
“Sure sure,” Satoru says, “I’ll get it done.” 
Ijichi shifts nervously. “Well, it’d be best to finish it right now, Sir. His paralegal is just about to leave the building.” 
Oh, right. The lawyer’s assistant. Gojo could never get a good look at that person, but the assistant resembled a shaking deer to him at most times. He’s not even sure if they’ve ever talked to each other, but he always found the other a bit odd. Big eyes. A shaky expression. 
It was a little annoying to look at. 
Some executive was throwing an office gala, and since he is Gojo Satoru, he needed to come along. 
And since you are Satoru's, you're dragged along too. 
Honestly, the only upside to this is you and that new dress he bought you. A velvet turquoise dress that he can't take his eyes off of. The gold jewelry draped across your neck makes you even more delectable. But his favorite part of the outfit is the shimmering diamond ring. 
The ceremony hadn't been anything extravagant. He'd just booked out one of his favorite restaurants, ordering lobster and sweet wine. He remembered hearing his heartbeat when he bent down on one knee, opening the elegant ringbox, like an oyster revealing its pearl. Looking back, he didn't know why he was so nervous: it's not like you'd say no. 
"What do you think of it?" He asked when you were back in his bed, bare from everything except that glistening ring. 
"It's pretty." You spoke, perfectly nestled in his chest. 
He feels in his heart when he hugs you, a small kiss in your hair. You say something, but he can't hear it; he is too preoccupied with feeling you in his arms. It's still so new, even after all these weeks. It's the anxiety, knowing at any second you could leave and he'd be nothing. He won't allow that, he can't. 
"I thought about something else, y'know?" He speaks quietly in your hair. "Ropes, chains, maybe. I could keep you here, forever. But—but then I realized how sad you'd get. I couldn't go through with it." 
You give no reaction. When he tilts your chin up to get a better look at you, your eyes are glassy. 
"You get that, right?" 
You nod. He's really too nice, sometimes. 
He spends the entire evening with you, tucked away in a corner, away from prying eyes. Just because he has to be there doesn't mean he has to be sociable. Every time someone walks up to him and you, a drink in one hand, he resists the urge to bite their head off, feigning politeness. He complains about their lack of decorum to you multiple times throughout the night, his head resting on your shoulder. You pliantly sit there, listening and nodding. 
About ten minutes after the last board member left, someone else walks up. By then, Satoru's patience has mostly declined. He peers over with disdain before he can really process who he's seeing. 
"Suguru!" He waves over. 
You stiffen, and Satoru remembers you haven't seen him in ten years. 
Suguru walks over with an easy smile on his face. He's nicely tanned, and Satoru is reminded of the pictures he sent over of the Maldives. Maybe that's where the honeymoon should be. 
"Had fun slacking?" Satoru asks with a grin; Suguru shrugs. 
When his eyes meet yours, he feigns delighted surprise. Suguru speaks your name with practiced shock. It's imperfect, only Satoru can see the amusement dripping from his fangs. 
"Long time, no see!" Effortlessly, Suguru corrals you into a hug. You follow, giving into the cold touch of affection before pulling away back to him. 
"Hello, Geto." You say when you're rightfully by his side again. "It's nice to see you again." 
Suguru laughs, light and airy. "You as well!" He looks at your hands, tilts his head. "Oh? Congratulations, you two! When's the date?" 
"Eh, we'll figure that out later." Satoru gives a quick kiss on your cheek. "Everything happened so fast, y'know? Us reuniting and everything: It feels like fate." Suguru's eyes flash. "Let's not rush this. We'll take our time." 
Suguru nods along thoughtfully. He's looking right at you, and you stare right back. Not used to feeling left out, Satoru is quick to intervene. 
The conversation is light, two long-time friends reuniting after a long spell. You stay quiet like decor, settling into Satoru's side. Suguru doesn't acknowledge you after that. 
"We gotta' go. It's getting late." He eventually says, tugging you along. 
Suguru gives a pleasant smile. "Of course, of course. We should catch up sometime." He directs this at you. You give a strained smile before Satoru leads you off. 
"Suguru." The man turns. Satoru grins. 
"I loved my gift. Thanks, man." 
Suguru's smile is catlike. 
"You kids have fun." He calls out right when Satoru's dragging you away all over again. 
You're silent. Not in the way you usually are, pliant and cute. You're thinking. He gives you a nudge. 
"What's goin' on in that pretty head of yours?" 
You shake your head. "Nothing." And then you say, "He's changed." 
From your view, Satoru supposed that's true, but really—
"Nah." Gojo shakes his head. "He's just dropped his act." 
Satoru's hand was wrapped around your waist when you two ran into him. You hadn't noticed him yet, eyes fixed on the floor. The lawyer hadn't changed since the last time Satoru saw him. That dead expression, those creepy eyes. Higuruma's eyes flit over your figure, before he finds Satoru's. 
He stares. Satoru stares right back. Something gives, and the lawyer calls out your name. 
"How are you?" His tone is cool, and this is another reason why Satoru can't stand him. The guy has no tells. He's just a talking robot. 
Unlike you, fidgeting by his side, practically vibrating with nerves. 
"I'm fine, sir." Your smile gets more painful to look at by the second. 
Your voice earns you a tired smile, a mild pinch of humor. Higuruma shakes his head, waving you off. 
"No need for formalities. We aren't at work." His smile drops just a bit, as he watches you for a bit more, eyes flickering to your hand. "I was...surprised when I saw the announcement. I didn't know you and Mr. Gojo were involved." 
Satoru grins, making himself known like a shark in the water. His grip on you tightens. 
"Oh, you didn't tell your boss 'bout us, baby?" He looks down at you with cruel mirth, pinching your cheek. You wilt. "We go way back—highschool sweethearts. Lost contact for a couple years. It's actually thanks to you we were able to find each other again. We'll send you the invites." He presses a kiss to your hairline. 
Higuruma hums at that. Satoru expected jealousy in his eyes; he's even more upset when he finds none. 
"I'll be sure to save the date." 
Then he shuts Satoru down completely. 
"I heard about your resignation. It's sad to see you go," Higuruma says. 
You nod, but you don't look at him. "Satoru and I talked about it, and we decided it's best if I focused on other things." 
"Very, very busy, this one nowadays." Satoru interrupts. "Between wedding plannin' and all that."
"Is that so?" Higuruma says dismissively, "in any case, you already knew this, but I've begun preparations to start a new firm." He reaches into his wallet, pulling out a card. "I always thought you were good at what you do. If you ever want to get back into the industry, call me." 
You take the laminate slip with a quiet thank you. Satoru feels blue turn into red. 
When Higuruma slips into the party, Satoru tightens his grip on you a little harsher than necessary. He's dragging you through the halls. Behind him, he can hear you stumbling over your heels, begging him to slow down. He knows he should care, but he doesn't. That damn lawyer. Those dead eyes. Mocking him. 
"Did you fuck him?" He asks when his anger has reached a high enough peak that he presses you against the wall. 
Your eyes are wild, flitting back and forth. He'd your expression a little cute if he wasn't feeling like a furnace, at the moment. 
"No. I—we never." You say. "Mr. Higuruma was my boss. And—and he's married—" 
"Really? 'cause you're precious 'Mr. Higuruma' was eyeing you up and down like he's already seen what's underneath." 
"'Toru." You plead. "Let's—let's just talk about this at home. Please? Let's just go home." Home. You said that word again. If he were a better man, he'd melt, but he's not. 
"Shut up." He spits out. "Hike up your dress." 
You stare at him. Then, you try to smile, like he's making a shitty joke. It wavers on your lips. 
"It's...we're still in public." You whisper and it's so cute you think he'd actually care about that. "We—we can't...we shouldn't—" 
"Baby." His voice drops, as he licks at your neck. "Pull up your dress, get rid of those panties. Otherwise, I'm just gonna take it off myself." 
He doesn't need to explain anything further. You already get what he's saying. Right now, Satoru doesn't care if you leave this building with your clothes intact. 
He thinks the worst part is that he knows he's being unreasonable. He's backing you into a corner where you'll have no choice but to surrender, and he knows that, but he keeps thinking about those man's eyes and how he looked at you and it was just all so much. 
He'll apologize to you later, with flowers and shiny gold earrings. He'd give you the world; just be good for him now. 
He just needs his fix. So just be good for him now.
When Satoru discovers it's been you all along, he feels like an idiot. 
In a pathetic way of defending himself, he convinces himself there's no way he could have recognized you. You're so different compared to your high-school self. 18-years old, fresh-eyed, naive. The you now is all grown up: a mature voice, a new hairstyle, clothes he'd never even think you'd wear. 
It also didn't help that he couldn't even see your face since you turned away every time he looked at you. 
Embarrassing. He's just glad Suguru wasn't here to call his blunder. 
He thought about it a lot. He spent an hour in his office, pacing around, doing nothing but thinking and thinking and thinking. Part of him wants to corner you already. He can already feel your rabbit heartbeat on his fingertips, the look you always had in your eyes when he was right in front of you. Part of him wants to ruin your life the same way you ruined his. He wants to tear you apart, piece by piece. Leave you in tattered pieces. 
But he can't do that. Satoru still loves you. 
You left him a hollow shell. Broken. Tainted. There are pieces of him he still can't find. He should hurt you. He's hurt other people for doing less. But they weren't you. Even after all those years, he's never quite stopped loving you. 
But he wants to sate his bloodlust, just a tiny bit. 
His perfect opportunity comes where he, the lawyer, and you are all sitting in one of the waiting rooms. The lawyers explaining something, possibly about the ongoing case. Satoru doesn't really care. Besides, this is what Ijichi's here for. 
He waits until everyone is quiet. You're unassuming. By then, your shoulders have lowered, like you think you've gotten away with it 
"Hey," he says, "do we know each other?" 
The other two don't bother, but you stop completely. The pen in your grip shakes. Satoru resists the urge to laugh. 
You timidly glance up like you're still delusional enough to think there's a fifth person he's talking to. Satoru has always been told his eyes are like two suns: bright and intense. He lowers his glasses. You wilt under the solar flares. 
"Hm?" He prods, enjoying the way you shrivel. "Have we?" 
You swallow, glassy eyes flicking from side to side. Finally, you clear your throat. 
"No." You mutter, voice barely a whisper. "I don't think we have." 
"Are you sure?" To intensify the magnifying glass, he leans closer, like he's examining you. "'cause you look really familiar." 
To his delight, you chew on your bottom lip. He can imagine biting it until it's bloody and raw. He stops just when you're about to shatter completely. Breaking you too soon would take the fun out of it. 
"Oh, wait. I don't think that was you." He relents, pulling back and he can see the relief ooze over your face. "I think I got you mixed up with someone who interviewed here a couple months ago. My bad. Maybe you have one of those faces." 
You nod, eager to take the out. 
"Yes," you quickly say, "one of those faces." 
How adorable. You haven't changed since high school. 
He's usually not this obvious, but Suguru isn't here to berate him about it and it's not like anyone else will get on his ass. The women he brings in are his usuals: tall models with full lips and perfect bodies. Satoru parades them around like expensive jewelry. He wants to see you seethe in envy, stew in it. He wants you to see what you abandoned. 
But you don't do any of that. You just sit there, like the dutiful little workbee you are, right by your boss's side.
And then, you give one of them your jacket. Satoru can't stand it wrapped around her waist like she fucking owns it—own you. She wears it so flagrantly, like any token from you shouldn't be worshipped and coveted. He hates it. He hates it. 
"I've never done this in an office before." She squeals when she shuts the door behind her. "So, how do you—" 
"Get out." 
The girl pauses. What was her name again? Satou was too pissed to give a single shit. 
"Um, what?" 
"What, you deaf or something?" He waves her off as if he weren't seething. "Get out." 
"Oh," she says, blinks, and then she takes a step back. 
"Wait." Satoru stops her. 
"Take that off." He points to your jacket. She does it with zero complaints. When he tells her to drop it on the chair, she follows that too. Reluctant expectation. Kind of like you. Maybe that's why he was initially invested in her. 
He only takes the fabric after she's gone. It's soft underneath his fingertips. Nothing designer, but good quality. When you're finally underneath him again, he'll buy you better clothes, all the jackets you want. 
He needs you. He can't wait anymore. 
He needs you, whether you want him or not. 
Satoru wakes up to something crashing. 
It's faint, obviously coming from the bathroom. Not the best way to be woken up. He remembers the first few nights he brought you home. He'd hear you crying in your sleep, choking on tiny sobs. It was the sweetest little thing, like a whimpering puppy. 
These noises are a little more concerning. 
He yawns, sliding out of bed. You didn't bother locking the door. You didn't even close it all the way, either. A sliver of light comes from the crack before he pushes it open. 
"Baby?" He calls. You don't answer. 
You had knocked over a caddy. Toothbrushes, hairclips, soap dispensers, perfume bottles were scattered all over the floor. You're curled up in the corner of the bathroom, huddled right next to the tub. You seem physically okay, no blood, no bruising, but he can't see your face. And you're shivering. 
Satoru's about to call out to you, when he steps on something. He looks down at the tiles. 
A positive pregnancy test. 
"I'm not keeping it." Your voice is hoarse, like you've been crying for hours. "I'm not keeping it." 
"Pretty girl." He coos, trying his best to keep the glee out of his voice and failing. "Let's not worry 'bout that, right now. C'mon, let's get you off the floor." He reaches for your hand. You smack it away. It stung. 
When you look at him, eyes bloodshot and brimming with angry tears, Satoru's heart skips a beat. He feels like he just trapped a wild animal, making it pace in a corner. Any wrong move could result in his hand getting bit off. It's scary. 
He's finally cracked you. 
"Fuck you." Your voice shakes and wobbles, but it's loud and you're clear. "Fuck you. You're a sick, twisted man-child. You ruined everything. You ruined my entire life and—and now you—" 
You're cut off by his giggling. It sounds psychotic even to his ears. He's beyond caring. You flinch when lifts your face up, forcing you to look into his eyes. He's smiling so hard it hurts. 
"Yeah, I did that. I ruined you. I ruined your entire fucking life. For me." He stresses, squeezing your face so hard you try to pull away. "But I had to. You—you wouldn't be here if I didn't." He sighs, pressing your body to his. "I need you."
You're both huddled on the bathroom floor, captive and lover. He's clutching you to his chest, smiling, nestling his face in your hair. You don't say anything for a while. 
"I'm not keeping it." You whisper. "I'm not. I wouldn't stand it if it ended up like you." 
It's spiteful. You're still in that phase where you think your venom can hurt him, as though he'd see your blows as anything but blessings. Satoru thinks to his own childhood. Where he was given everything, lathered in gold and silver. Yet, the house was always cold. But you were always so warm. 
"That won't happen." He tells you. "'cause you're here." 
Your anger has dwindled to smoke. Maybe you've finally realized how crazy he was for you. 
"Please let me go." It's not a beg. It's not even a request. 
"I can't," he honestly says. 
"You won't." You correct him. 
He smiles in your hair. 
"No baby," he says, "I can't." 
If you ran away again, if you escaped his claws, he'd probably die. Drop dead, rot on the floor. He needs you. Even more than he needs food, water, and oxygen. You won't understand that. You've never been in love before. 
You don't fight him. If anything, you sink into his hold. He's there to catch you, heart soaring. You lean into his chest 
"I hate you." You whisper. His heart beats a little faster. It's probably the first time you've ever been so honest with him. 
God, he loves you. 
"I hope our baby has your eyes," he says. 
"I hope our baby looks exactly like you." 
You say nothing, but when he leans down to kiss you, you finally kiss back. You're cracked, and your essence is ready to be molded in his image, just like he's always wanted you to be. 
If Satoru is the Sun, then you must certainly be his universe, the plane in which he rests, because there would be no existence for him if not for you. 
2K notes · View notes
yourstrulyrani · 1 month ago
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Hi luv!
I am new to Simon Riley but I am DOWN BAD lmao
Could u please write something about mommy reade being insecure and struggling with like body image after pregnancy and during post-partum. Like being a REAL MAN he is, he just adores his mama and loves how her body changed and created their baby.
U can totally change it however u like, i am bad at explaining 😭😭
I absolutely loved ur last dad!Simon imagine, I could never 😭
Keep it up 🫶🏻🫶🏻
dad!simon riley x mom!reader
blurb: dad!simon soothes your insecurities about your postpartum body. cw&tws: body image/weight, suggestive right at the end // wc: 1279
a/n: aw hii you’re so kind, thank you! & don’t worry you explained it perfectly and i am so in love with this idea so here it is, thank you for your kind words btw 🥹🫶🏼 i want to bring attention to anyone reading who needs to hear it, that no matter your weight or how your body looks: you’re enough. your looks are not “hideous” or anything else along those lines just because society tells you otherwise. in no way do i have the intention of promoting body negativity/shaming. every body is a body worthy of love and respect as long as you treat others the same. please take care of yourselves & love yourselves as much as possible 🤍.
With the spare time you have now as your baby is asleep in her nursery, you take off your tank top, now clad in only a nursing bra and your underwear.
You step in front of the mirror. You thought your heart sunk enough when you saw the number on the scale, but you were wrong. You run your hands along your stomach. The skin is still saggy from the pregnancy and birth, and the stretch marks from your pregnancy that were once faint now boldly start at your hips and vine their way to your belly button. At this point, you let the tears fall. You want the body you had before pregnancy. You want the body where you could see where your waist ended and your hips started. You want the body where your breasts don't have stretch marks. You want the number you had on the scale from before. You don’t even recognize yourself.
You think: How did I let myself go this much?
You break down on the wooden floor of the bedroom, the hot tears falling on the cold floor.
“Sweetheart?” His voice calls out to you.
You forgot he was home too.
You look up through your tears, a blurry image but enough to know it's your husband at the doorway of your shared bedroom. Simon doesn’t hesitate to walk over and sit down with you on the floor, placing his hands on your cheeks and rubbing your tears off with his thumbs. “Baby.”
Your eyes shut, letting more tears fall at the pressure. You can’t look at him. You can’t be with him. Your body isn’t enough. Enough for you. Enough for him. “Baby, look at me.” His voice tightens along with his hands on your face.
You whimper in pain, “No.”
His hands move from your cheeks to your elbows, lifting you up gently. “Here, let’s get you up on the bed.” You have been recently so happy with the arrival of your baby, Simon too. It pains him to see you like this. “What’s wrong? Talk to me.” He pleads gently until you finally open your eyes.
As soon as you sit on the bed and your bloodshot eyes weakly gaze at him, his chest tightens. Your breathing is labored yet you manage to get out a few words, “My body, Simon.” You wrap your stomach around your arms, clutching at the body that’s giving you trouble. “It’s so ugly. I’m sorry.” You hiccup, the crying making it harder to breathe. “My stretch marks, my belly, my swollen legs and feet. Everything. I’m sorry I’m not as pretty as before.”
“You don’t think you’re pretty?”
“I’m hideous, Si.”
Simon’s ears rang when you called yourself that word: Hideous. His gorgeous, dedicated, sweet wife. The mother to their baby, the love and light of his life, and here she is talking about herself like this.
“Stand up for me, sweetheart.” Simon grabs your hands and you reluctantly do as he says. He tugs at your bra, “Can I take this off?”
“But the doctor said no sex for six wee—“
“I know, baby. Don’t worry. Not planning on that right now. You need to heal." Your nod of permission makes him unclasp your bra. He cups your cheek and places a kiss on your forehead before guiding you by the shoulders to the mirror. Here you are, again, facing the woman you can’t stand.
Simon stands behind you, his chin resting on your shoulder and his hands on your arms. “You’re so beautiful.” He kisses your neck, the touch of affection featherlight but heavy with love.
Simon’s hands move down to your breasts, cupping one in each hand. His hands are big enough to let his thumbs trace over the stretch marks on them. “These stretch marks are normal and perfect. Your body grew selflessly for our girl and this shows it.” His eyes gaze into yours through the mirror. “I don’t think your stretch marks are hideous. I think they’re a physical sign of your strength.” His hands give your breasts a final rub, then move on to rub the stretch marks across your hips and stomach. You turn your head to the side, disgusted at looking at yourself for any longer.
Your husband clicks his tongue. “Look, baby. Please. Right there in the mirror. Look for me.” Simon glides his hands along your stomach. He squeezes gently, enough to feel the softness without hurting you. You turn your head back to face the mirror, and Simon gives you a warm smile through the mirror. You look at your body, analyzing every inch. The stretch marks you once saw as something that should be disgusted over, you now see them as a physical witness to your pregnancy. You start to think they're not so bad.
His hands circled all around your stomach. “And your belly you said? Here is where you carried our baby. You let her grow here. Your stomach is not hideous. It changed beautifully. It’s softer than before and I love it. I love feeling it. I love looking at it.” He keeps reassuring you in your ear and you can't help but to shiver. You always loved Simon's voice, but the combination of it and his honest reassurances does something else to you.
You slowly start to feel better, but your doubts still rise about how Simon feels. “But I don’t feel pretty enough for you. I’ve changed so much after this pregnancy.”
“You are always pretty enough for me. You are always beautiful. You’re perfect, mama. Your body changed because you got pregnant and that’s normal. I’m not disgusted. If anything I am in awe of you and your body’s ability.”
Simon walks around to stand in front of you now, making you look up at him by lifting your chin up with his finger. His head lowers to kiss your forehead, his lips kissing their way down to your cheek, and lastly to your neck. “Believe me when I say your body has changed in the best way possible, my love. Every inch. Every stretch mark and curve. It’s all beauty to me. You are beauty to me. Love yourself, please.”
Your eyes tear up. Not because you hate your body anymore, but now realizing just how much you should love it and how much the man you love loves it. "I love you," you whisper. Both of you look into each other's eyes, none of you denying the amount of love in each pair.
"I love you too, mama." Simon brings you into an embrace, wrapping his forearms around your upper back. His face finds the crook of your neck, his lips grazing your most sensitive spot as he speaks. "My beautiful woman. Just a few more weeks and I'll prove it to you just how beautiful you are." He softly kisses your neck, thinking about how fortunate he is to have a woman who loves him like you do.
You giggle and cross your arms playfully, “How so?” You know exactly what he means, but it wouldn't hurt to hear it out loud.
Simon chuckles before moving his head away from your neck to look down at your face. He admires every slope. He loves the way your eyelashes compliment your eyes, the way your lip color is the perfect shade to kiss, and your cheeks soft enough to hold in his hands. He does the latter, his words laced with suppressed desire as he whispers, “The same way I got you knocked up.”
You think: How did I get so lucky?
(brb gonna go cry UGH i need a man to praise me like he's doing RIGHT NOW.)
~ yours truly, rani ♥︎
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jungkoode · 23 days ago
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𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝐌𝐄 𝐔𝐏 | 19
˗ˏˋ redefining stances ˎˊ˗
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"You have always put people in different categories: friends, dating and fucking. And the idea of someone redefining that makes your chest twist inwardly, because that's just not how it works. Never has."
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next | index
⋆。°✩ chapter details ✩°。⋆
word count: 15k
content: parental expectations, inner monologue, anxiety attacks, body reactions, redefining terms (friendship), fights, communicating (kind of...), subtle propositions, blowjob, handjob, embarrassment and insecurity / self-doubt (f), guiding (m), orgasm, cumming on face, hanging out plans.
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✧ author's note ✧
WHEEEEEEW. okay. hi. hello. greetings. blessings upon your crops.
So first of all, I must humbly report that the new goal system (Tumblr and Wattpad having to align like twin stars) is working beautifully. It gave me a luxurious (dare I say scandalous) nine-day window to edit, tweak, breathe, and cry. And I only did one of those things on the floor (take a wild guess). I’m keeping it for now, besties. Let’s see if it continues to save me from myself.
Now. This chapter. Yeah. She’s 15k. And I would say “I don’t know how that happened,” but I would be lying through my teeth. Ask Koopsy. The BJ scene alone was 3k at one point. And then I had time. And we all know what happens when I have time. I rewrote it. And suddenly it’s eight. I regret nothing. It’s unhinged but like… in a deliciously purposeful way.
I especially loved dragging some vulnerability out of our girl—Y/N’s still that stubborn “keep it all inside or die” kind of girlie, but you’ll see her starting to leak, emotionally. And the way Jungkook isn’t being mocking when she cracks a little? When she masks her insecurity and he just sees her? HELLO. I giggled. I kicked my feet. I twirled my hair.
Also?? This chapter really digs into how fundamentally opposite they are when it comes to emotional frameworks. Like, Y/N hears “friendship” and sees expectations, accountability, people expecting her to care back. Hard pass. Meanwhile Jungkook is like “let’s label this so we can safely not fall.” LMAO. It’s giving defensive strategies 101. It’s giving textbook avoidant-anxious overlap. It’s giving both of you need therapy immediately and maybe a hug.
BUT. You’ll also see a little growth. A spark. A whisper of a maybe. She doesn’t fully shut down. She doesn’t say “no.” She’s simmering. And as someone with trauma? That simmer is progress. That’s real. That’s human. That’s our girl doing her best with a backpack full of emotional grenades.
Anyway. This is your 4x VERY slow emotional slow burn reminder. If you’re here hoping they’ll acknowledge feelings soon—first of all, who are you? Second of all, no. Third of all, this is not a customer service inbox. You don’t get to file complaints. You get to suffer. That’s the deal.
Enjoy the chapter, scream in my inbox, or join the crying circle on Tumblr where the rest of Kiki Nation gathers to chant “girl what the hell” in unison.
Welcome if you're new. Godspeed if you’ve been here.
Kiki out.
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Pancakes smell like rain and roses and a home you can't go back to.
The smell is soft at first, curling around the edges of your consciousness as you blink against the morning light filtering through the blinds. Warm and familiar, it drags you back—not to this kitchen, not to this apartment, but somewhere far away. Somewhere softer. Somewhere safer.
Pancakes always smelled like home. Like rainy mornings where the sky was a patchwork of grays and blues, stitched together by streaks of silver rain that blurred the world outside the window. Mom would hum as she worked, her voice low and steady, blending with the sound of batter hitting the pan and the hiss of butter melting into golden pools.
She never measured anything—not really. Just a spoonful here, a dash there, warm milk poured straight from the carton into the bowl without hesitation. She’d laugh when Dad complained about her ‘eyeball method,’ but he never said no to her pancakes. Not once.
The kitchen always smelled alive on those mornings—like butter and sugar and coffee mingling in the air, weaving through the faint floral scent of the potted roses Mom kept near the window. She swore they dulled the smell of food, but they never did. The pancakes always won, their buttery sweetness overpowering everything else until it felt like you could taste them just by breathing.
You loved those mornings. Loved how they made the house feel lived in for once—like more than just walls and furniture and people passing each other on their way to somewhere else. On rainy days, it felt like home. Like something worth staying for.
Maybe that’s why pancakes were your favorite. Not because of how they tasted (though they were always perfect—soft and fluffy with just enough sweetness to make you grin through a mouthful), but because of what they meant. Because they were more than breakfast; they were a memory stitched together with rain and roses and laughter that echoed long after the plates were cleared.
You close your eyes now, letting the smell wash over you like a wave, pulling you under until all you can think about is that kitchen—the one with the chipped tiles and mismatched chairs where Mom would stand with batter-stained hands and Dad would sip his coffee too loudly just to annoy her.
And for a moment—for one fleeting second—you’re there again.
Home.
The problem with perfect memories is they're usually lies.
And then it's gone.
The mirage of home evaporates like morning dew on grass, leaving behind the acrid aftertaste of something that never really existed. Not like that. Not with the softness your mind painted over the jagged edges.
Those pancake mornings? They always came with conditions.
‘Straight A's this semester, honey? Pancakes on Sunday!’
‘Piano recital went well? Let's celebrate with breakfast tomorrow.’
‘SAT prep finished early? I'll make your favorite in the morning.’
Always a reward. Always a transaction. No matter how much vanilla extract Mom added to the batter, you could still taste the expectation underneath—bitter and metallic, like pennies on your tongue.
Makes sense why you can't enjoy things without earning them first. Why everything has to be deserved.
The scent wafting through the apartment shifts now. No longer just butter and sugar and rain-soaked roses, but something sharper. Something that stings the back of your throat and makes your stomach twist.
Guilt.
Because who the fuck resents pancakes? Who looks at a mother standing over a hot stove, humming while she makes your favorite breakfast, and thinks: this isn't enough?
You do, apparently.
You who had everything—the nice house, the private school, the parents who ‘just wanted what was best.’ The ungrateful daughter who still squirmed under their touch, who counted down the days until college like a prisoner marking time.
You don't have the right to feel trapped by love. You know that.
People would kill for what you had. For parents who showed up. For a home without holes in the walls. For pancakes on Sunday mornings.
So entitled. So privileged.
The voice in your head sounds like Mom when she's disappointed—soft and somehow, sharp at its core. She never raised her voice. 
Never had to. 
Just that quiet, ‘I expected better from you,’ that cut deeper than any scream.
Your teeth grind together, jaw clenching so hard it aches. 
There's a pressure building behind your eyes, hot and insistent, but you refuse to let it out. 
Not over fucking pancakes.
Not over the way Dad would look at your report card before he looked at you. 
Not over the way Mom rescheduled your life without asking, because ‘Yale doesn't accept students who waste time on sketching.’
Not over the way they both pretended your opinion was valued while systematically stripping away every choice that mattered.
‘We're just guiding you. We're just helping. We're just doing what parents are supposed to do.’
The smell of pancakes is suffocating now. Cloying. Sweet in a way that coats your tongue and makes you want to scrape it off.
And still, there's that whisper, that insidious little thought that's been following you since you left: Maybe if you'd been better—more grateful, more deserving—it wouldn't have felt like a cage.
Because that's the real fucked-up part, isn't it? You miss them. Miss the security of those Sunday mornings. Miss knowing exactly what was expected, even as you chafed against it.
Miss feeling like someone cared enough to map out your entire life, even if they never bothered asking which direction you wanted to go.
The guilt surges again, stronger. 
What kind of monster resents safety? What kind of daughter hates being loved?
The kind who runs away to New York and still wakes up in the middle of the night, heart racing, thinking she's late for a lesson she never wanted to take.
The kind who changed her major three times before settling on English, just because it was the one subject Dad thought was ‘impractical.’
The kind who buys her own groceries and pays her own rent and still can't shake the feeling that she's doing everything wrong. That somewhere, someone is keeping score, and you're failing.
The kind who smells pancakes and wants to cry.
Not because you miss home.
But because part of you is afraid it's following you here, to the one place that was supposed to be yours. Just yours. With no expectations attached.
The smell is coming from the kitchen. Someone is making pancakes in your kitchen.
And you don't know whether to smile or scream.
Your fingers clutch your phone, because the pressure building in your chest has to be channeled somewhere. 
The numbers glare back at you, accusatory.
8:00
8:00
8:00
Panic bubbles out of you.
Late. You're late. You're always fucking late. Dad's voice in your head, that disappointed sigh. ‘Time management reflects character, dear.’
You bolt upright, heart hammering against your ribs, and then—
Nothing is right.
The sheets aren't yours. Too dark, too soft. The wall is wrong—black, with one accent wall in deep red that you've definitely never painted. There's a carpet beneath your feet when you swing your legs over the edge. Your water bottle isn't where it should be. Your clothes aren't where you left them, you’re naked.
This isn't your room.
This is Jungkook's room.
Jungkook's bed.
And suddenly last night comes rushing back in fragments that make your skin heat up.
Not the usual—not the snarky comments across the kitchen table or the silent treatment when you're pissed at each other. Not the avoidance of the last four days where you both pretended the other didn't exist.
No, last night was... talking. Just talking. Both of you just... existing in the same space without trying to burn it down.
And then—
Jesus Christ.
You press your palms against your eyes, but that doesn't stop the memory. Him between your thighs, making those sounds like he was the one getting pleasure from it. The way he looked up at you, eyes almost black in the low light. How he touched himself while tasting you, like he couldn't help it.
And then after, when you both should've retreated to separate corners to lick your wounds and rebuild your walls—you didn't. You fucking climbed into his bed. Told him to stay. Like it was nothing. Like it was normal.
What the actual fuck is wrong with you?
You can't even blame alcohol. Two glasses of wine over the entire evening doesn't equal drunk. Doesn't equal stupid decisions. Doesn't equal... whatever the hell last night was.
So what was it?
You drag your hands down your face, feeling the heat in your cheeks. 
Are you really that easy to disarm? One decent conversation, one night where he's not being a complete ass, and suddenly you're sleeping in his bed like some kind of...
Like what? Not a girlfriend. Not a friend with benefits, because friends actually like each other. 
Just... a girl who got confused. Who let her guard down. Who maybe wanted, just for a night, to not fight everything and everyone.
Including yourself.
You grab one of Jungkook’s discarded black T-shirts (oversized ones, because he thinks he’s cool or something) and some clean boxers to entertain your thoughts. 
But it’s no use.
Your fingers dig into your scalp, tugging at your hair. You want to bang your head against the wall until these thoughts scatter, but then you remember—again—that it's not your wall. It's his. This entire space belongs to him, and you're the intruder here.
Except he didn't say no, did he? When you suggested, he didn't really hesitate. Much. Just huffed, carried you and then plopped right next to you. Like maybe he wanted it too.
And for one brief, stupid moment last night, curled up in sheets that still smelled like him, you thought… maybe this could work.
Maybe you could actually be friends.
Real friends.
The kind who talk about shit that matters. Who know things about each other that have nothing to do with sex or power plays. The kind who don’t pretend silence is neutrality and eye contact is war.
But friends means caring. And caring while fucking is a road that leads straight to complication city, population: you, crying on the bathroom floor at 3 AM wondering why you weren't enough.
Fucking is one thing. Dating is another.
Being friends? That’s a whole different monster.
And you’re not naïve enough to believe people can safely be all three at once—not without bleeding somewhere.
Sure, people who date usually start as friends. And yes, most people who date also fuck.
But you?
You don’t date. You detonate.
And Jungkook? He’s got matchsticks for fingers and a mouth that knows exactly where your fault lines are.
So, no. He doesn’t get to be all three. Doesn’t get to orbit your life from multiple angles. Doesn’t get to slip into your day like heat and leave like regret.
He’s not dating material.
But he is fuckable. Dangerously, addictively, ruin-your-life fuckable.
So that’s where he stays. Logically.
You check your phone again. Still 8:00 AM. But it’s Saturday, which means—
Your new job. Barnes & Noble. 10:00 AM.
The panic recedes, leaving behind a hollow sort of relief. 
You're not late. You have time. Two whole hours to figure out how to look Jungkook in the eye without thinking about his mouth between your legs or the way his voice sounded when he talked about his ex or how he looked when he seemed actually, genuinely concerned.
Two hours to rebuild all those walls that somehow, without you noticing, started to crumble.
You're not sure it's enough time.
The heel of your palms dig into your eyes as you let out a sigh that feels like it's been trapped in your chest for days. 
Fucking pancakes. The whole place reeks of them, sweet and buttery and—
Pain slices through you, vicious and unexpected.
"Fuck—" 
Your body curls in on itself automatically, a reflex you can't control. It feels like someone's taken a rusty knife to your insides and decided to twist. Your hand flies to your lower abdomen, pressing against it like that'll somehow help. Like you can hold yourself together through sheer force of will.
The IUD. Has to be.
It's been nagging at you for days now. Little pinpricks, the occasional twinge that made you wince but was easy enough to ignore. 
But this? This is something else entirely. This is your body throwing a full-scale revolt.
You sink back onto Jungkook's bed, chest doubling over toward your knees. 
Breathe in. Breathe out. Just like Mom taught you, back when panic attacks would hit in the middle of the night before big tests. Back when your chest would get tight and the world would spin and everything felt like too much.
‘In through your nose. Hold for four. Out through your mouth.’
‘Good girl. That's my good, brave girl.’
The memory of her voice is so clear it's almost like she's here, sitting next to you on this bed that isn't yours, in this room that smells like someone else. Guiding you through the pain like she always did. Always so calm. Always so sure.
Even when you hated her methods, you never doubted she knew what she was doing.
The pain ebbs, receding like a tide that's bound to come back. It leaves you empty and oddly fragile, staring at the dark gray carpet between your bare feet. The urge to slide back under Jungkook's covers is almost overwhelming. To just hide there until the world feels less overwhelming.
Something soft and warm brushes against your ankle.
Griffin looks up at you with those unblinking amber eyes, his tail a question mark behind him. He makes that little chirping sound that's not quite a meow, more like he's asking if you're okay in the only language he knows.
"Hey, buddy," you murmur, reaching down to scratch under his chin where he likes it best.
He leans into your touch, purring loudly enough that you can feel the vibration through your fingertips. 
Such a simple thing. Touch and response. Need and fulfillment. No conditions, no expectations. Just connection.
It makes your throat feel tight in a way that has nothing to do with pain.
Griffin bumps his head against your palm, demanding more attention. Typical. Exactly like his owner—always taking more than he's given.
The thought makes you snort softly. 
You stand, slower this time, wary of another attack from your rebellious reproductive system—yet nothing happens. Small mercies.
When you open Jungkook's door, the smell of pancakes hits you like a wall. Rich and sweet and somehow wrong. Not like home. Not quite. Different ingredients, different hands.
And there he is. In a fucking Sonic the Hedgehog T-shirt and matching pajama pants. Hair a mess, like he styled it with a fork and an air fryer. Flipping pancakes like he’s got his life together.
Standing in the kitchen with his back to you, shoulders moving slightly in time to whatever's playing through those expensive headphones. Completely in his own world. Completely unaware that you've been having an internal crisis in his bed for the past twenty minutes.
Completely, infuriatingly normal. Like last night changed nothing.
Maybe it didn't. For him. 
Maybe it didn’t. For you.
Or maybe it did. 
You sigh, dragging yourself toward the kitchen because someone needs to make sure he doesn't burn the whole fucking place down. The security deposit is half yours, after all.
Jungkook doesn’t show any sort of acknowledgement, headphones clamped over his ears, head bobbing so violently you're genuinely concerned it might detach from his neck. 
Like his brain doesn't have enough problems already without the potential concussion.
Now that you're closer, you can actually hear him—not just humming, but full-on rapping? along. 
Or trying to. 
The tinny leak from his headphones gives you just enough to recognize that god-awful song that's been all over TikTok lately. 
Gang Baby, NLE Choppa.
Of course that's what this idiot listens to while making breakfast.
He spots you in his periphery and doesn't miss a beat, turning just enough to start mouthing the lyrics directly at you. His eyebrows do this ridiculous waggle when he gets to the part about let me B-A-N-G and let me fuck some.
You curl your lip in disgust, which only makes him snort and rap more enthusiastically.
"Real classy, Rogue. Nothing says 'good morning' like misogynistic garbage at—" you check your phone, "—8:12 AM." 
He pulls one side of his headphones away from his ear. 
"Sorry, what? Couldn't hear you over this absolute banger."
"I said," you position yourself next to him at the counter, peering at whatever he's mixing in that bowl, "you have the musical taste of a horny fourteen-year-old who just discovered his dad's Playboy collection."
"Hey, don't hate. NLE Choppa is a lyrical genius."
"Oh yeah? What's next on your sophisticated playlist? 'Me So Horny'? Maybe some 'My Neck, My Back'? Real breakfast ambiance."
"Those are classics," he grins, completely unashamed. "But I reserve those for special occasions. Seduction purposes only."
"Has that ever actually worked on anyone with more than two brain cells?"
"You tell me, Nix." His voice drops half an octave, eyes flicking down to your lips for just a second before he turns back to his bowl. 
You make an incredulous sound. 
“What the fuck are you making, anyway?"
"Protein pancakes, babyyyy!" He drags out the word, lifting the spatula like it's a trophy.
Your face must show exactly how you feel about that because he laughs.
"What? Gotta maintain these gains." 
The fucking idiot actually flexes then, one arm curling up while he continues to stir with the other.
You swat at him, connecting with his bicep. 
Firm. Solid. Warm. 
You pull your hand back like you've been burned.
"God, you're so fucking stupid."
"Stupid hot, maybe."
You ignore that, moving toward the coffee maker. The one thing in this apartment worth waking up for.
"Ah ah," he tsks, reaching behind him. "Already made you some."
You pause, watching as he passes a mug over to you. 
Your mug. The dark blue one with the chip on the handle that somehow ended up being yours even though you can't remember buying it. Steam curls from it, carrying the rich scent of coffee—strong, with just a hint of hazelnut. 
Exactly how you like it.
You bite the inside of your cheek, wrapping your fingers around the warm ceramic. 
“Thanks," you mutter, the word almost painful to push out.
"So," he says, pouring batter onto the griddle, "you're eating some pancakes, aren't you?"
You purse your lips, hesitating. 
On one hand, protein pancakes sound like something a gym bro invented to justify eating dessert for breakfast. 
On the other, your stomach reminds you it's been empty since those chips you inhaled around midnight.
"Come on," he pushes, "you need protein to maintain that ass, Nix."
Your jaw actually drops. "Excuse me?"
"What?" He grins, ducking his head when you swat at him again. "I'm just saying, would be a pity to throw that to waste. You've got an amazing—"
"Ughhhhh, okay! I got it!" You cut him off before he can finish. "I don’t wanna hear it at this hour. I'll eat your stupid pancakes, my god."
He looks far too pleased with himself, flipping a perfectly golden pancake like he thinks he’s an actual chef or something. 
"They're not stupid, they're nutritionally optimized."
"Is that what your protein powder labels call them? The ones with the half-naked bodybuilders flexing on the front?"
"Hey, don't judge my fitness journey."
"Oh, I'm judging everything about you, Rook. It’s my whole brand.”
He just chuckles, sliding the first pancake onto a plate and pouring more batter. The domesticity of it all is somehow ridiculous.
It feels too normal. Too easy. Like you've done this a hundred times before.
Like maybe you could do it a hundred times more.
Dangerous thought. Very dangerous.
You take a long sip of coffee, letting the bitter heat scald away whatever the hell that feeling was.
Jungkook slides a plate toward you, two perfectly golden pancakes stacked and steaming. 
And honestly; they actually smell... decent. Not like the protein chalk you expected.
"Bon appétit," he says with a ridiculous flourish of his hand. "Try not to fall in love."
"With you or the pancakes?" You grab a fork from the drawer, sitting on one stool and poking at your breakfast suspiciously.
"The pancakes.” He says with a smirk, joining you in the adjacent stool. “I’m too much for you to handle.”
You roll your eyes, taking a reluctant bite. Fuck. They're good. Like, actually good. Not gritty or chalky or tasting vaguely of chemicals like most protein-enhanced food.
His smug grin tells you your face has already betrayed you.
"Don't," you warn, pointing your fork at him.
"Don't what?" He leans forward, one elbow propped on the table. "Don't mention how your eyes just rolled back in your head? Or don't point out that I'm right about something, and that's clearly causing you physical pain?"
"Don't be insufferable before 9 AM." You take another bite, speaking around it. "I haven't had enough coffee to deal with you at full throttle."
"What about last night? You seemed pretty happy dealing with me at full throttle then."
"Seriously? We're doing this now?"
"Doing what?" He stabs his own pancakes with his utensil. "Having breakfast? Talking? Being... you know, normal?"
"Normal. Is that what we're doing?"
"Well, yeah. I mean, last night was..." He shrugs, taking a bite of pancake. "Nice. You know? We actually talked. Didn't try to kill each other. Maybe we could do that more."
Oh god. This is exactly what you were afraid of. This weird, awkward morning-after attempt to redefine things. 
He's going to want to put a label on it now, isn't he? 
Turn your convenient arrangement into something messy with expectations and feelings and other terrifying shit.
Friends. Or friends with benefits or whatever stupid idea he’s about to come up with. 
No. Absolutely not.
"We talked," you say carefully. "We also fucked. Let's not make it weird."
"How is it weird to suggest we could be, I don't know, actual friends?"
And there it is. 
"Friends." You stab at your pancake with more force than necessary. "Right. Because that's what people who've seen each other naked are. Friends."
"I mean, yeah? Friends who fuck. It's a whole thing. People do it all the time."
You look up at him, fork frozen halfway to your mouth. 
“And how's that worked out for you in the past, Rogue? These fuck-buddy friendships of yours—all solid, drama-free arrangements, were they?"
His eyebrows furrow. "I'm not suggesting we start braiding each other's hair and sharing deep dark secrets. Just saying maybe we don't have to pretend we hate each other 24/7."
"I don't hate you," you say automatically, then immediately regret it.
He scoffs. "Progress."
"Don't get excited. I don't like you, either."
"Sure you do." He grins around a mouthful of pancake. "You like parts of me, at least."
"Your modesty, definitely. That's my favorite part."
"Not what you were saying last night."
You throw a napkin at him. It flutters pathetically halfway across the space between you. 
Stupid napkin. Stupid Jungkook.
“Can we just—can we just eat? Without dissecting our relationship status?"
"What's there to dissect? We live together. We fuck sometimes. We talk sometimes. We don't hate each other. Seems pretty straightforward to me."
"Nothing's ever straightforward. Sex is one thing. Friendship is another. Put them together, and it's a disaster waiting to happen."
"Why? What's the issue? You really think if we start being decent to each other, suddenly the whole arrangement falls apart?"
"No, I think if we start being 'decent' to each other, suddenly there are expectations. Suddenly I'm supposed to care if you're having a bad day, or listen to your problems, or worry about your feelings when we're fucking."
"Wow. The horror." He rolls his eyes. "God forbid you acknowledge I'm a human being and not just a convenient dick."
"That's not what I meant—"
"Then what did you mean? Because from where I'm standing, it sounds like you think I'm too fucking stupid to understand boundaries. Like I'll immediately start writing your name in hearts or some shit just because we've upgraded from roommates to friends."
"I didn't say—"
"I don't want to date you, Nix. I don't want to be your boyfriend. I just thought it might be nice to not act like we're in some cold war every time we're in the same room. But if that's too much emotional labor for you, fine. We can go back to pretending the other doesn't exist unless we're naked."
The sting of his words surprises you. Why do you even care? This is what you want—no messy emotions, no expectations. Just the convenience of living together and occasionally hooking up. Clean. Simple.
Except now it feels anything but.
"You're twisting what I said."
"Am I? So you're not freaking out about the terrifying prospect of actually being friends with the guy you've been sleeping with?"
"I am not freaking out." You are absolutely freaking out. "I just think it's... cleaner. If we keep things the way they are."
"Cleaner." He snorts. "Right. God forbid anything in your life gets messy."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"It means you've got your shit locked down so tight you're about to snap in half." He stands up, grabbing his mug of coffee. "You think I don't see it? How hard you try to control everything? How fucking terrified you are of anything that doesn't fit into your perfectly organized boxes?"
Your grip on the fork tightens. "Oh, please. Tell me more about myself, Rook. You've known me for what, one month? Clearly you're an expert."
"I may not know shit, but I see enough. I see you'd rather cut someone out completely than risk them having any kind of power over you.”
"Fuck you," you spit, but it comes out weaker than you intended. 
Because he's not wrong, and that's the worst part.
"Yeah, we've established that part works great." He drops his plate on the sink and it clatters noisily. “Look, forget it. You want to keep pretending we're strangers who occasionally fuck? Fine. Works for me. Less work anyway."
"That's not what I said." You stand up. "I just don't see why we need to redefine everything. Why can't we just... let it be what it is?"
"Because I don't even know what the fuck it is! Am I your roommate? Your fuck buddy? That guy you hate but tolerate because the rent is cheaper split three ways? What the hell am I supposed to tell people when they ask about you?"
"Why are people asking about me?"
"Jesus Christ." He throws his hands up. "That's what you focus on? Not the point, Phoenix."
"Then what is the point? Spell it out for me, since I'm clearly too stupid to get it."
"The point is, I talk to you more than I talk to most of my actual friends. I see you every day. I know how you take your coffee and what you look like when you come. So excuse the fuck out of me for thinking maybe, just maybe, we could drop the whole 'we're just roommates who tolerate each other' act and admit we might actually be friends."
You stare at him, chest tight with something you can't name. 
Can't or won't. 
This is exactly what you've been avoiding—this messy, complicated conversation that blurs all the neat lines you've drawn.
"I don't do friends with benefits," you finally say, voice quiet, your plate joining his. "It never works. Someone always ends up hurt."
"Who said anything about hurt? It's not that deep, Nix. We're not in a fucking rom-com."
"No, we're in real life, where things get complicated and messy and people have expectations they don't even realize until they're disappointed."
"The only expectation I have right now is for you to stop overthinking everything for five seconds."
"I'm not overthinking. I'm being realistic."
"You're being paranoid. And kind of insulting, if I'm honest. Like I'm some lovesick puppy who can't handle a casual arrangement."
“I’m paranoid? That’s rich coming from you, Ro. Real fucking rich."
His eyes narrow. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means you're a fucking hypocrite." The words tumble out, hot and fast. "You want to talk about being friends? About opening up? That's hilarious coming from the guy who deflects every personal question with some stupid joke."
"I don't—"
"You absolutely do. Every time." You step closer, jabbing a finger in his direction. "Ask about your financial situation? Oh, it's fine, just selling a kidney next week, ha ha. Ask about your ex? Turn it into some bullshit story about how she 'graded' you after sex, like it's all a big fucking joke."
His jaw tightens, a muscle jumping beneath the skin. "That's different."
"How? How is it different? You want me to be all open and friendly, but all you do is deflect and crack jokes.”
"I didn’t say anything about being all open and—”
"Then what are you saying?" You throw your hands up, frustration making your voice rise. "Because it sounds like you want all the benefits of friendship without any of the actual vulnerability. You want me to be your friend when it's convenient, but god forbid I ask about anything that matters."
"What do you want to know, Nix? What deep dark secret are you dying to hear? How I'm drowning in debt because my ex fucked up my credit? How I can barely make rent some months? How I wake up in the middle of the night panicking about money? Is that friendly enough for you?"
The sudden honesty knocks the wind out of you. Your mouth opens, closes, opens again like a fish gasping on land.
"That's what I thought." He tilts his head, motion clearly angry. "You don't actually want to know that shit. You just want to point out that I don't share it to win an argument."
You both stand there, breathing hard, like you’re studying each other.
But then Griffin rubs against your ankle, completely oblivious to the emotional warfare happening above his head and you…
You, honestly, feel tired.
Bone-deep tired. 
It's too early for this much... whatever this is.
"Look," you sigh, the fight draining out of you. "Maybe we're both right, in our own way. And maybe we're both being assholes."
He blinks, clearly not expecting the shift. 
After a moment, his shoulders drop a fraction.
"I’m listening.”
"Last night wasn't terrible," you say, choosing your words carefully. "Talking. Whatever. Maybe we don't need to define everything right now?"
"Revolutionary concept." His voice has lost its edge, that familiar sardonic tone creeping back in. "Not immediately labeling every interaction. Who would've thought?"
"Shut up." 
You pick up your coffee mug again, taking a sip to hide the relief washing over you. 
Crisis averted. Boundaries preserved. 
For now.
"So what are you saying?" he asks, leaning back against the counter. "We just... see where things go?"
"I'm saying maybe we don't have to be strictly roommates or strictly friends. Maybe we can just... exist in the same space sometimes without trying to kill each other. And if it turns out we don't hate it..."
"We can revisit the friend thing?" He raises an eyebrow.
"Maybe." You shrug, aiming for casual. "If you manage not to be completely insufferable."
"Tall order." He's almost smiling now. "I'll have to suppress all my natural charm."
"If that's what you call it."
You roll your eyes, relieved to be back on solid ground. 
This you can handle—the banter, the back-and-forth, the careful dance around anything too real. 
This is safe.
Under control.
"Just eat your protein pancakes, Rogue. Don't you have gains to maintain or whatever?"
"Can't skip arm day," he agrees, flexing dramatically. "These biceps don't maintain themselves."
"God, you're insufferable."
"Yet here you are, eating my pancakes, drinking coffee I made you." He gestures at your mug with his own. "Almost like you tolerate me."
"Stockholm syndrome, obviously."
"Obviously." He hums thoughtfully for a moment. "So, we're good?"
"We're..." you search for the right word, "...fine. For now. Let's just take it a day at a time, okay? No pressure, no expectations."
"I can do that." He nods, looking almost relieved himself. "One day at a time. Starting with today, where you admit my pancakes are fucking amazing."
"They're edible."
"They're incredible and you know it."
"They're protein powder with extra steps."
"They're a culinary masterpiece that your taste buds aren't sophisticated enough to fully appreciate."
"My taste buds are perfectly sophisticated, thank you very much."
"Says the girl who eats chips at midnight."
"At least I don't drink protein shakes for dessert like some kind of psychopath."
"Don't knock it 'til you try it. My midnight chocolate protein shake would change your life."
You make a gagging sound. "I'll pass, thanks."
"Your loss." He shrugs, then glances at the clock. "Don't you have to be at work at 10?"
"Yeah, but it's only—" you check your phone, "—8:30. Plenty of time."
"If you say so." He moves towards the space between the entryway and the couch. "First day, right? Gonna sell some books to the masses?"
"That's generally what happens at a bookstore, yes."
"Well, don't let your sparkling personality scare away the customers."
"I have excellent customer service skills, I'll have you know. I can fake being nice for hours at a time."
“You sure ‘bout that? Haven’t seen you be nice for more than thirty seconds."
"That's because you don't deserve my niceness."
"And the customers at Barnes & Noble do?"
"They're paying for it. You just get the real me."
"Lucky me," he snorts. "So, you nervous? First day and all?"
"It's a retail job, Rogue, not brain surgery. I think I can handle scanning books and saying 'have a nice day' without a panic attack."
"Just asking." He takes a sip from his mug. "Making conversation. Like normal people do."
"Yeah, well." You shift, suddenly uncomfortable with how... normal this feels. 
Like you're actual roommates having an actual conversation. 
Like maybe this friend thing isn't so impossible after all. 
"I should probably start getting ready."
"Right, sure." He nods, glancing at his room. "Wouldn't want you to be late for your first day of shaping young minds through literature."
"It's Barnes & Noble, not the Library of Alexandria."
"Still. Books. Knowledge. Power. You know."
“Has anyone ever told you that you talk a lot of shit for someone who reads, like, one book a year?"
"Hey, I read." He looks genuinely offended. "I just finished that one about the guy who—"
"If you say 'Rich Dad, Poor Dad,' I'm going to throw this mug at your head."
"I was going to say 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck,' actually."
"Of course you were." You can't help the laugh that escapes. "How original. Let me guess, you also have 'The 48 Laws of Power' on your nightstand?"
"Whatever, man." He shakes his head, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "Suck my dick."
The words come out light, amused—a casual dismissal that’s not angry or bitter, just a throwaway line, the kind of thing he'd say to Yoongi or any of his friends when they're giving him shit.
But something about it—the vulgarity or maybe the signature shitty and playful challenge in his eyes—makes you reckless.
"Okay."
You tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, eyes sliding to the side as the word slips out. 
Casual. 
Like you just agreed to pass the salt, not... that.
Jungkook stops dead in his tracks. His body goes rigid, one foot already pointed toward his bedroom. He turns his head slightly, just enough for you to catch his profile.
"Huh?"
You cross your arms, teeth worrying the inside of your cheek. A shrug lifts your shoulders—noncommittal, like this isn't making your heart hammer against your ribs.
Your eyes drift back to his. Meet and hold.
"I said okay."
He turns fully now, coffee mug dangling forgotten from his fingers. 
"Okay... what?"
"Sucking your dick." 
You watch his throat bobble, the muscles in his neck working as he swallows. Like he’s processing what you just said. Like you just suggested something completely alien, something that requires a full system reboot. 
And okay, fine, maybe it wasn’t the most casual thing to drop into conversation. But still. 
You arch an eyebrow, scowling at him because why is he overthinking this? Does he not want you to do it? Don’t all guys want to get sucked off? Isn’t that, like, a universal truth or something? What’s with the hesitation?
The longer he stands there, frozen and dumbfounded, the hotter your frustration burns. It’s not like you even want to do this (okay, you do, but that’s not the point). 
The point is he’s always the first one to be like “bet” whenever you throw out some reckless suggestion. 
Pushy without being pushy—he knows boundaries, sure, but he’s still the guy who’ll smirk and say “you won’t” just to see if you will. 
And now? The one time you actually offer something? He’s looking at you like you’re speaking Simlish.
You move toward him, until you're face to face. 
His mug wobbles in his grip, coffee sloshing dangerously close to the rim.
You look up at him through your lashes. 
"I said I can suck your dick if that's what you want."
A shaky exhale escapes him, warm against your face.
"Nix..." His voice has dropped an octave, rough around the edges. "Don't fool around. That's not nice."
"I'm not fooling around."
Slowly—so slowly it feels like time has stretched into something thick and syrupy—you sink down to your knees.
The kitchen tile is hard, and really, it should be uncomfortable. Should snap you out of whatever madness has possessed you.
It doesn't.
Jungkook bites down on his lower lip, the sharp edges of his teeth digging into the flesh like he's physically holding back a curse. You can see the evidence of his interest already straining against his pajama pants.
His fucking Sonic pajama pants.
Because of course. Of course this would happen while he's wearing cartoon hedgehogs. Of course this
moment—where you're on your knees in front of him, heart pounding, breath shallow—would come with this absurd detail that makes it real in a way that's almost uncomfortable.
Your hands come to rest on his thighs. 
Strong. Solid. Warm. 
"I mean, we've been hooking up for a month now. Almost." Your voice sounds different to your own ears. Lower. A little breathless. "You've eaten me out multiple times, but... I haven't sucked your dick. Not even once."
Your eyes drop deliberately to the bulge straining against ridiculous cartoon fabric. It should be funny. 
It's not.
"Is it because you didn't want me to?"
He shakes his head. Fast. Emphatic. A jerky motion that tells you everything you need to know.
"So why didn't you ask me?"
He doesn't answer. Can't, maybe. 
His throat works again, adam's apple bobbing. His pupils are blown wide, dark and hungry as he stares down at you.
Your fingers play with the waistband, slowly—so fucking slowly—pulling it down just enough to reveal his hip bones and the trail of dark hair that disappears beneath the elastic.
"Have you thought about it at all?"
"Yes." The word comes out strangled, like it fought its way past whatever restraint he's trying to maintain.
Your eyes snap up to his.
He curses when your eyes lock onto his again—the control you have, even down on your knees.
"Yeah?" 
"Yeah." He exhales, surrender in the sound. "Yes, I've thought about your beautiful plump lips wrapped around my cock, Nix. Is that what you wanted to hear?"
Heat blooms in your cheeks, spreading down your neck, across your chest. 
You hadn't expected him to be so... explicit. So honest.
"Maybe." Your thumbs brush against the skin just above his waistband. "What else have you thought about?"
His mug clatters onto the counter beside him, abandoned and his now-free hand comes to your face, thumb brushing against your bottom lip. 
"Thought about how you'd look," he murmurs, voice pitched low enough that you have to strain to hear it. "On your knees. Just like this. Those big eyes looking up at me while you take me in your mouth.”
Jesus. 
Your body responds instantly, a rush of heat between your thighs that makes you press them together unconsciously.
When did Jungkook get so... articulate?
His thumb presses slightly against your lip, just enough to part them. "Thought about how warm your mouth would be.
How good it would feel. How you'd sound."
"How l'd sound?”
A smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth, confidence returning as he watches your reaction. "The little noises you'd make. The way you'd moan around my cock when I pull your hair."
Oh.
Your hand moves higher, finding the hard length of him through his pajamas. He hisses through his teeth when you palm him, fingers wrapping around his shape.
"Like this?" you ask, squeezing gently.
His hand moves to your hair, fingers tangling in the strands at the back of your head. 
Not pulling. Not yet. Just holding.
"Getting there." His voice is strained now, tight with need.
"But in my head, there's a lot less talking and a lot more—"
"Sucking?"
His laugh is half groan. "Yeah, Nix. A lot more sucking."
"Hmmm" you murmur. "Where's all that big talk from earlier?"
"Temporarily relocated," he manages. "Blood flow issues."
That startles a laugh out of you, breaking the tension for just a moment. Trust Jungkook to crack a joke while you're literally about to have his dick in your mouth.
Your hands pause, giving his bulge another soft squeeze before—
“Wait—couch.” He grabs your wrist, stopping your motions. “Let’s do this properly.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah? Better for your neck and knees and all that. Let’s go.”
You roll your eyes but follow as he then drops onto the couch, sprawling like he owns the place—which, technically, he does, but still. His left elbow hooks over the cushion rest lazily, and his knuckles come up to rest against his cheek as he leans into it. 
The picture of nonchalance. 
Except for the way his hips shift slightly, rolling upward in a small, deliberate motion as he spreads his legs wider.
Your eyes narrow. 
That little buck of his hips? The way his thighs stretch out as if to frame you? It’s not subtle. 
Neither is the look he’s giving you now—those half-lidded bedroom eyes that always seem to appear when he’s horny. His lips curve into something smug, and god he’s so obvious it’s almost embarrassing. Like one of those guys in bad romance novels who lounges around shirtless, flexing for no reason except to remind everyone they have abs.
“So?” His voice is low, dragging out the single syllable like a challenge.
You cross your arms tighter over your chest, glaring at him because—what? Is this supposed to be seductive? Is this his idea of foreplay? 
“You’re already making me regret this, you know that?”
He snorts, the sound sharp and amused as he tilts his head slightly. “I don’t know why I doubt that.”
Your only response is a scoff—short and derisive—as you step closer. The floor feels uneven beneath your feet, though you know it isn’t. It’s just your nerves playing tricks on you. 
Because this is real now. This is happening. You’re about to suck cock. Rogue’s cock.
You want this. You do. You’ve been curious about this for longer than you’d care to admit—curious about him, about what he likes and how he reacts and whether he’ll look as smug when he’s falling apart under your mouth. 
But still… You haven’t exactly done this much before.
David—the forgettable high school boyfriend who thought foreplay was optional—had pretty much stuck his dick in you and called it a day. He didn’t even know girls could orgasm until you brought it up once during an argument (and even then, he seemed skeptical). 
Your life hasn't been that tragic since then, thankfully.
A few hookups here and there have shown you that men aren't a total lost cause after all—some of them even know what they're doing! But sucking dick?
That's... different. It's not something you've done often enough to feel confident about it.
Sure, you know the basics—you've read enough spicy books and fanfics to have a decent idea of what works (English majors don't judge; they research). 
But knowing what works in general isn't the same as knowing what Jungkook likes. 
And this is his cock you’re talking about—his stupidly perfect body and his stupidly perfect everything else.
And now here you are, kneeling between Jungkook’s thighs while he looks down at you with that stupid smirk of his.
You glance up at him expectantly, hoping for some kind of cue or instruction or… anything really. Like he always does, talk shit with that big mouth of his. Dirty talk or whatever. 
But all he does is blink at you for a moment before he hooks his thumbs into the waistband of his Sonic pajama pants and starts pulling them down.
His cock springs free, standing there like it owns the place. 
And okay, yeah, you’ve seen it before—plenty of times, actually. 
You’ve had it inside you, for fuck’s sake. 
But this? This is different. This is up close and personal, inches from your face, glossy and flushed and looking way too proud of itself.
Beautiful isn’t the right word. It’s a cock. A literal penis. 
There’s nothing beautiful about it—it’s just a piece of meat, veiny and slightly curved and standing at attention like it’s waiting for applause or something. 
And yet... you can’t look away. 
Why is it so glossy? Is that normal? Does he always look like this when he’s hard? You don’t know why your brain is spiraling into a full-blown analysis of his dick right now, but here you are, mentally beefing with it like it personally insulted you.
Be so fucking for real right now.
And again—there he is. Silent. Watching. Not saying a single goddamn word.
Which is weird because usually, Jungkook doesn’t shut up during sex. He’s all about the dirty talk—filthy little comments that let you know exactly what he likes, what he wants, what he’s thinking. 
But now? Nothing. Just this expectant silence that makes your skin prickle with self-consciousness.
You hate him for it.
Your hand wraps around him before you can overthink it anymore. Because okay, fine—you might not be an expert at this, but you’re not completely clueless either. You’ve sucked cock before (not a lot, but enough to know the basics), and you know how jerking off works. 
So that’s what you do: start slow, your hand moving down his length in a steady stroke.
He hisses softly at the contact, his hips shifting slightly against the couch cushion. When you glance up at him from beneath your lashes, he’s already looking down at you—his lips parted just enough to catch your attention as his tongue darts out to wet them.
And still, he says nothing.
“What?” You grunt the word out before you can stop yourself, frustration bubbling up in your chest.
“Nothing,” he says quickly, too quickly—like he wasn’t expecting you to call him out.
You narrow your eyes at him suspiciously, but his face gives nothing away.
“Okay,” you mutter under your breath, pulling back slightly as doubt creeps in around the edges of your confidence. “I’m doing everything wrong. Forget it.”
You start to stand up—because honestly? 
Fuck this. 
Fuck him and his smug silence and his stupid perfect dick that’s making you second-guess yourself when you were perfectly fine five minutes ago.
But before you can fully retreat, his hand shoots out to grab yours—not rough or demanding, just firm enough to stop you in your tracks.
“Hey,” he says softly, his voice low and almost... gentle? “Hey, no. Don’t do that.”
You stare at him for a moment, then look away because suddenly eye contact feels like too much.
There’s a beat of silence before he swallows audibly, like he’s pondering what to say. 
“Do you want me to…” He hesitates for half a second before continuing, his tone careful but curious. “Verbally tell you what I like?”
You purse your lips tightly, the edges pressing together in a way that’s almost painful. 
Because somehow, saying yes to that—admitting you need him to tell you what to do—feels like losing. And you don’t want to lose. Not here. Not to him. Not when he’s sprawled out like some kind of smug king on the stupid couch, looking at you like he’s waiting for you to figure out how to solve a puzzle he already knows the answer to.
He doesn’t push, though. His hand stays on yours, warm and steady, as you let him pull you gently back down. 
Your knees hit the floor again, and the carpet feels rough against your skin, grounding you in the moment even as your brain screams at you to get it together.
“Okay,” he says after a beat, his voice soft but probing. “What’s up?”
Your eyes snap to his, narrowing slightly at the question. “That’s what I should be asking you.”
He raises an eyebrow at that, clearly unimpressed with your deflection. 
“C’mon. Usually you’re so mouthy. You literally made me beg yesterday just to eat you out. I don’t get this sudden prude thing you’re pulling.”
Damn him. Damn him and his ability to read you so well it feels like he’s got a script for your every thought and reaction.
“I’m not acting prude,” you snap defensively.
“Really?” His lips twitch upward. “Because you’re staring at my cock like you’re mad at it.”
Your jaw tightens as embarrassment flares hot in your chest. 
“I’m not mad at it,” you mutter through gritted teeth.
“Then what’s the problem?” He tilts his head slightly, genuinely curious now. “Tell me.”
You blink at him, caught off guard by how simple he makes it sound—like voicing whatever’s swirling in your head is the easiest thing in the world. Like it’s not tied up in knots of insecurity and doubt and whatever else is making your throat feel tight right now.
Because he’s right. You could just tell him. That would solve everything, wouldn’t it? But somehow, the thought of saying it out loud—of admitting that maybe you’re not as confident about this as you’d like to be—feels like stepping off a cliff without knowing if there’s anything to catch you at the bottom.
Why does it feel like losing? Like humiliation?
His brow furrows slightly when you don’t respond right away, and then he asks—carefully, hesitantly—
“Okay… have you done this before? A blowjob?”
The question makes your stomach flip for reasons you can’t quite explain. Your eyes drop to the floor as heat creeps up your neck and into your face. 
“…Yus,” you mumble under your breath.
“Yus?” He repeats incredulously, leaning forward slightly like he didn’t hear you right.
“Yes,” you say louder this time, still staring at the carpet like it holds all the answers to life’s mysteries.
“But not often,” he guesses—and fuck him for being right again.
Your head snaps up at that, ready to fire off some kind of retort about how that’s none of his business or how he should shut up because clearly he’s not an expert on everything either—but then he laughs.
Out loud.
And it stops you cold.
Because it’s not mean or mocking or anything close to what you expected—it’s just… laughter. Light and genuine and almost disbelieving in a way that makes something inside you loosen just a little bit.
“What?” You demand sharply.
“Oh my god,” he says between chuckles. “Phoenix—is that what this is about? Why didn’t you just tell me?”
You glare at him because what else are you supposed to do? Admit he’s right? Again? Absolutely not.
He notices anyway—of course he does—and his grin softens into something closer to understanding as he leans back against the couch cushions.
“Bro,” he says lightly, shaking his head like this is all so obvious now. “It’s totally chill.”
You scoff quietly, looking off to the side because meeting his eyes feels impossible right now.
“I mean it, you want to try, right? You want to experience it or whatever? Nothing wrong with that.” He pauses for half a second before adding with a small smile: “Let me help you, aight?”
You don’t say yes. Of course you don’t. You never say yes.
You run your tongue across your upper lip instead, slow and lazy like you’re tasting the tension, and shrug—shoulders stiff like maybe it costs you something to agree. 
Which, okay. It kind of does. Dignity’s already dangling by a thread.
But he reads it. Of course he does. Like you’re a fucking cartoon strip and he’s already memorized every panel. 
He just grins—guffaws, really, because apparently this is hilarious to him—and tilts his chin toward his cock like that’s normal. Like this is a fucking TED Talk on Applied Dick Science.
“Spit.”
You blink. “Huh?”
“Spit on it.” 
Like it’s nothing. Like you’re asking him if he wants oat milk in his coffee and not literally hocking a loogie onto his dick.
Your face does something between a grimace and a snort. “What are you, a porn algorithm?”
“Relax. It’s not a kink thing. Just helps with… y’know. Glide.” A shrug. So casual. “Friction’s not your friend, Nix.”
You squint at him. “So now you’re a physics professor.”
“Professor of good head,” he says under his breath, eyes twinkling like he thinks that’s clever.
You exhale slowly through your nose. Not quite a sigh. Just enough to say fine, sure, without actually giving him anything. 
Then your eyes flick down, then back up.
And maybe you don’t mean to hold eye contact for as long as you do, but whatever. Your gaze locks on his, and his mouth hitches slightly at the corner.
One of those small, lazy smirks that says he’s watching everything you do. Which he is.
You drop your eyes again. Shift forward. Palms to thighs. Inhale once through your nose, just to clear whatever mental fog is still clinging.
Then you lower your face toward him, mouth hovering just above the head of his cock.
And okay. It’s a little intense up close like this.
Flushed dark pink at the tip, that little bead of precum catching the light. Skin taut where it stretches up and around the curve. 
And yeah, it’s pretty? Like, stupid pretty. Which only pisses you off more because it’s a dick. You shouldn’t be thinking aesthetic right now. You should be—
He hisses.
Literally just from your breath.
Like, your breath grazes the head and he inhales sharp through his teeth, a low sound punching out of his chest that he probably didn’t mean to make.
Your eyes cut up automatically.
And you absolutely, one hundred percent bite back a smirk. Can feel it twitch at the edge of your mouth, creeping in before you catch it.
He doesn’t say anything, but there’s a flicker of amusement in his face. A slight arch of his brow, a ghost of a grin that says ‘don’t get cocky’, which is rich coming from him.
You don’t let the moment stretch too long.
You glance down once more, tilt your chin forward, and—
Let spit fall from your lips.
Slow and steady.
A warm trail that splatters right onto his cockhead with a soft, wet noise you pretend not to react to. The drool stretches in a thin line as it drops, catching and sticking in places before sliding down the shaft, slick and messy in a way that feels weirdly intimate and way too graphic for how not romantic this is supposed to be.
You hear him exhale again—less sharp this time, more like a breath he didn’t know he was holding—and when you glance back up, your eyes meet his.
Big. Wide. Intentional.
Because yeah, you’ve read enough porn. You know this trick. Know the effect eye contact has. 
Especially from down here. Especially when your lips are half an inch from his dick and your saliva’s still glistening on it.
And okay. Fine. Maybe it’s a little performative. 
But he does it, too. Every goddamn time he’s between your legs, he’s watching you like it’s a sport. 
So maybe it’s not just for you. Maybe it’s projection.
It definitely is.
Because the second your spit hits his cock and your eyes stay locked on his, Jungkook makes this—noise.
Not a grunt. Not a moan. Just this tiny sound, like a choked-up breath dragged out of his throat against his will. The kind of sound you’d miss if you weren’t listening for it. 
But you are. And you do. 
Your fingers wrap around him without thinking. Automatic, almost. Like your hand just knows what to do now. It’s not a tight grip, not at first—just enough to feel the weight of him, hot and heavy and fucking ridiculous in your palm.
You give him one slow pull. A test run. Casual. Clinical.
And his head tips back instantly.
“Ahh—god, yeah,” he groans, voice pitched low and raw like it just escaped him.
You blink. Stare. Something tightens low in your stomach, unexpected.
But before you can fully process the way that noise slithered into your spine and curled up there like it pays rent, he’s looking down again. Immediately. Because apparently the view of your hand jerking him off is not something he’s willing to miss.
His gaze drops to the contact like it’s life or death, pupils blown and mouth slightly parted. He looks wrecked already, and you’ve barely done anything.
Kind of gratifying. Not gonna lie.
So you keep moving. Slow. Measured. A couple more strokes, just to test what rhythm feels natural. Your hand adjusts automatically, finding that friction-slicked spot between too loose and too tight. Thumb brushes the underside near the head, not on purpose, but—
“Yeah,” he breathes. “That’s—”
Pauses. Swallows. Licks his lips like he’s trying not to rush it. 
“That’s good, but… here.”
His voice is soft now, like he’s trying not to scare you off. Like if he speaks too loud you might slap his dick and walk out. 
And then his hand’s there. His actual hand.
The tatted one.
It swallows yours whole like it’s got a god complex. His fingers are longer, rougher, his palm calloused from guitar strings or camera work or something equally shitty—and it lands on top of yours like this is how. Like he can’t not touch. Like the need to guide is stronger than the need to just sit there and enjoy.
And okay, that’s kind of hot.
He doesn’t even do it weird. No pervy whisper, no ‘lemme show you, baby.’
Just—grips your hand, adjusts the angle, and starts moving it the way he would. His pace. His pressure. His exact rhythm.
He’s demonstrating. Demonstrating. The way he does it.
Which—Jesus. Okay. That’s a thing you’re watching now.
You track everything. How he drags you up to the head and tugs just a bit harder when you get there. Not painful, just… firmer. Intentional. Then down again—not all the way, not to the base. Just past halfway. Controlled. Like there’s a limit he doesn’t cross.
You assume it’s a sensitivity thing or maybe it just doesn’t feel good that far down. Maybe it’s one of those ‘my dick isn’t a joystick’ scenarios. 
You don’t know.
But you clock it. Catalog it. 
Mental note: no base. No excessive tug. Got it.
He lets go of your hand after a few strokes, slowly, and leans back just an inch—enough to say ‘your turn’. Still watching, though. Like a perv. Like a mentor.
Like both.
You copy what he showed you. Try to mimic the pressure, the pace, the not-too-tight but not-too-flimsy grip. Try to keep the motion smooth even though your brain’s busy yelling ‘are we seriously learning how he jerks off right now? is this real life?’
Apparently yes. It is. And it’s working.
Because he makes this sound. This little hhuhh in the back of his throat, barely audible but very much real. Not exaggerated. Just… a reaction.
You hold back a grin. Barely.
Pride hits low and hot in your chest like you just got an A on a test you forgot to study for. 
Not because he said something—but because he didn’t. 
That little exhale? That shift in his hips? That subtle fuck, yeah cue without words?
Validation.
Your eyes flick up. You want to see it. Read him.
But he’s not looking at you.
Still staring at your hand. Brows drawn, mouth slack.   
And then—
His front teeth catch his bottom lip. Plush, pink, a little too soft for how filthy he is, and he bites. Not hard. Just enough for it to dimple inward and make something flicker behind his lashes. 
The kind of flicker that screams overthinking, like maybe the feeling’s a little too good, and he’s trying to ground himself with pain or pressure or… whatever the fuck goes on in his chaos brain when he’s like this.
Then comes the sound.
Somewhere between a hiss and a grunt, like his body can’t decide if it wants to breathe through it or fuck into it. 
Rough at the edges, low, weirdly conflicted.
His head dips again.
“Also,” he breathes out, voice crackly and uneven now, “do… do this. Look.”
His hand comes up before you can ask what this is.
Big, again. His palm wraps around yours like he’s your goddamn training wheels. Not even pretending it’s not a tutorial anymore. 
His fingers press lightly into your skin, adjusting your grip—less on the full stroke now and more—
“There,” he mutters, repositioning your thumb, sliding it higher. 
Right to that spot beneath the crown. Soft little groove. Just barely noticeable unless you’re paying attention.
Which, apparently, he really fucking is.
“You feel that?” he says, voice dipping. “Right under. The… fuckin’—yeah, that. That’s the spot.”
You nod a little, but your eyes don’t leave your hand, now with your thumb angled like a pressure point. Like you’re disarming a bomb with one finger.
His voice drops again.
“Okay, now when you stroke—” his hand moves yours with his, slow and controlled, “—pull up like that, and when you hit the top, tighter there—yeah, squeeze just a little—and your thumb… drag it with you.”
He does it again. Once. Then twice. Demonstrating like this is a team sport and you’re in pre-game drills.
That spot.
That frenulum, or whatever the technical term is. 
Doesn’t matter. What matters is how his breath stutters when you pass over it, how his mouth goes a little slack while he watches.
“That’s the shit, Nix,” he says, almost like it’s to himself. Like he’s taking mental notes on his own cock. “That right there.”
Then he lets go again. Fingers slip away from yours, slow. 
And he licks his lips as he leans back into the couch, arm flopping over the top cushion like he’s trying to play it cool again, even though he’s still watching you like a fucking hawk.
So. You try.
You mimic the motion exactly. 
Same rhythm. Same pressure. Same thumb glide up the underside, and—
“Fuck.”
That one’s not breathy. Not soft. Full-bodied groan. Low and honest, punched out of his chest like his lungs just gave up the ghost for a second.
You do it again. And again.
Thumb dragging against that spot every time you pull up. Your grip tightening near the crown, loosening at the glide down.
He melts.
That’s the only word for it. 
His whole body sinks into the cushions like gravity just tripled. Thighs open wider, neck drops back over the edge of the couch, mouth hanging open now like he’s past the point of pretending he’s unaffected.
“Fuck, yeah—that is…” he pants, lips parted, eyes fluttering before he forces them open again, zeroing in on your hand like it’s holy. “That’s fucking perfect, Nix. Jesus Christ, you’ve got magic fingers or some shit.”
Your smirk barely hides itself.
He’s a talker. You knew that. But this? This is next level.
“Fuckin’ knew you’d be good with your hands,” he groans, eyes flicking from your fingers to your face and back down again, tongue dragging across his bottom lip like he’s trying not to say more but can’t help himself. “Just like that, just like that—shit, that’s so fucking good—”
Your thumb twitches tighter without thinking, and his hips flinch.
And it’s so fucking dumb, the way your stomach flips at the reaction. Like you’re the one being touched. Like you got your nerve endings scraped raw by one tiny squeeze.
But there it is—his hips flinching, a twitch so fast you might’ve missed it if you weren’t laser-focused on every damn micro-expression crawling across his face. 
His mouth opens for half a second like he’s gonna say something, maybe crack a joke, maybe tell you to go harder—but then—
He chokes a breath.
Like it gets stuck somewhere between his ribs and throat, all tangled up in want.
It is shaky, and it hitches like it costs him something to let it out. 
Like just existing through this is work.
And you see it—the way his pupils expand even more, ink bleeding into every millimeter of brown. 
He’s not blinking. He’s not moving, not really. Just chest rising and falling way too slow, like he’s afraid any sudden motion might snap this thread thin tension.
You lick your lips before you can stop yourself. Because he’s staring. Still. At your hand, yeah, but also your face now. 
Like watching you react is part of the pleasure. Like your mouth is more interesting than porn.
And okay. Maybe you’re a little into that.
Maybe that’s why your hand tightens again. Just a little. Not even on purpose this time, more like instinct. Your thumb swipes over that spot again, light and smooth and mean, and his chest fucking jerks.
Then—
A noise. Escapes him. Not a groan. Not a moan either. It’s like a stuttered-out puff of sound that crackles in his throat on its way up, all gritty and broken, like it got caught in static.
And right after that, so soft you almost miss it, he says:
“Your mouth.”
You freeze.
Your pulse jumps like you’ve been caught doing something wrong. Even though you haven’t. Not really. Just… hand stuff. Just skin and muscle and spit and heat.
But his voice? It’s not filthy when he says it. It’s awestruck. Like he’s seeing a fucking shooting star. Like it’s something to be whispered.
Your mouth.
It echoes weird in your head. Bounces off all your internal walls.
You blink up at him, eyes dragging from the handjob, and you look at his face.
And the expression there?
Jesus. He looks like he’s praying.
Not to God. Not even to you. To the feeling. To the moment. To the idea of your mouth on him.
And for some reason, your voice is already moving before your brain can catch it. “What do you want from my mouth?”
You don’t say it cute. Don’t coo. You’re not flirting. You’re daring. Like if he says something you don’t like, you’ll bite down instead of suck.
He blinks. Laughs, almost. Not like it’s funny—more like it surprised him. The way you said it. Like you slapped him with your voice.
Then, low and kind of incredulous: “What do you think I want, Nix?”
And he grins when he says it. Real slow. Not smug. Not sleazy. Just… real. Like that’s the stupidest question you’ve ever asked and he’s giving you a minute to catch up. To get there on your own. Like maybe you’re the dumb one for asking when the answer’s right there, hard and twitching and shiny in your grip.
You glance up through your lashes because fuck it, might as well lean into the trope while you’re down here. Might as well make it mean something.
And you swear to god—something inside him glitches.
Like his whole respiratory system shorts out. You hear it, barely—a tiny gulp, some micro sound buried deep in his throat like a trapped hummingbird. 
Fragile and desperate. 
Faint little flutter.
But it’s real.
Like a ‘fuck’ slips out of the space around you. Not even from his mouth. Just—exists.
As if the universe itself groaned.
And you know he felt it too because he looks at you like you just made the sun blink.
His hand lifts again, slow.
Fingers curl gently around your face, brushing the hair out of your eyes—not rough, not fast. Just… precise. Like he needs to see you. Like eye contact is currency and he’s suddenly flat broke.
You don’t move. Just let him. Let his thumb skim your cheek. Let his gaze drag over your face like it’s got weight behind it. Like you’re something he doesn’t want to blink away from.
And then—his voice. Low. Warm. Calm in that way that feels like it’s trying to keep a leash on something unhinged underneath.
“Suckle the crown a bit while you keep your hand moving. Up and down. Not fast, just… keep rhythm.”
You blink. 
That phrasing. 
Suckle.
What the fuck is he, a medieval warlord?
Still.
Your pulse stutters.
Because he says it like he’s thought about this. Like it’s not just a ‘hey, mouth on cock now’ moment, but something he’s imagined. 
Something he’s replayed in his head with specificity.
“Focus on the tip. You don’t gotta go all in yet. Just use your tongue. Like… tease the slit a little. Then suck around it. Not too hard. Gentle. Like you’re figuring it out.”
Your brows twitch up just slightly, but you nod.
Because yeah. Okay. That you can do.
And your hand’s still on him—hasn’t left. Just slick and steady, lazy little drags up and down his shaft with your thumb gliding right under the head like he showed you.
You shift forward. Let your lips ghost over the tip. Let him feel your breath first. Not teasing, not on purpose. Just… checking the temperature.
You feel the tension ripple through his thigh when you finally close your lips over him—soft, just the crown. Mouth warm and wet as it envelops the head, not too much suction yet. Just heat.
And then—yeah. You suckle. Gentle at first. Not a full draw, more of a tug.
His reaction is immediate.
Lips part. Chest jerks up half an inch.
One of those sounds again. Low. Raspy. A curse swallowed before it could hit air.
Your hand doesn’t stop. You keep it moving—slow pumps that glide down, then back up, thumb still catching that spot he likes every time you reach the top.
“Yeah,” he breathes out, voice low and rough around the edges. “That’s it. That’s—fuck—that’s the perfect pressure. Mmhm. Yeah.” 
His words come in stilted bursts, like they’re being dragged out of him against his will. 
“Keep… keep moving your hand while—ughhnn—keep sucking the tip.”
You do as he says because what else are you supposed to do? You’re not about to stop now—not when he’s making noises like that, not when his cock twitches every time your tongue flicks over the slit. 
But there’s this nagging thought in the back of your mind, this tiny voice that won’t shut up: 
Why isn’t he telling you to take the whole thing already?  
Isn’t that what most guys want? The whole deep-throat porn star routine? You’ve read enough smut (done it a couple times too) to know how this is supposed to go—or at least how it usually does. 
But Jungkook? 
He seems… content. Like he’s not in any rush to shove himself down your throat.  
Maybe he doesn’t want to rush it? Or maybe he’s just weird like that?  
Your eyes flick down to your hand. Analyze the movement. The rhythm. The way your fingers wrap around him, snug and slick, dragging up and down with just enough pressure to make him twitch but not enough to push him over. 
You remember how he did it. The angle. The squeeze. The way his thumb skimmed that spot under the head like it was a fucking button.
You mimic it again. Just to see.
And that’s when he exhales. Soft. Controlled. Like he’s trying not to let it out but can’t help himself. 
The sound drips from his lips like water hitting a rooftop—quiet, but sharp. A little hiss of breath that makes your thighs clench.
Then—
“Look at me.”
It’s not a command. Not barked. Just… said. Low and even. Like he’s asking for something simple. Like it’s no big deal.
But you don’t.
You kind of… ignore him. 
Not on purpose, really. 
It’s just—you’re embarrassed now, okay? 
You don’t want to look up and see his smug face while you’ve got his tip in your mouth like some idiot who doesn’t know what she’s doing. So you keep your eyes trained downward, focusing on the task at hand (and mouth).  
“Nix,” he says again, more pointed this time. “C’mon. Eyes up.”  
You want to bite him for that tone alone—like he’s daring you or something—but reluctantly, you glance up through your lashes. More of a glare than anything else because fuck him for making demands right now.  
He huffs out a laugh at your expression, shaking his head slightly like you’re hopeless or something equally annoying. 
“No, not like that. Like… big. Wide.” He pauses for half a second before adding with a grin: “Make your eyes pop.”  
You pull off his cock with an audible pop of its own because what the actual fuck is he talking about now? 
Your brows knit together as you scowl up at him, and he looks back at you with those stupid boba eyes of his—round and inquisitive like he doesn’t realize how ridiculous he sounds right now.
“Make them pop?” you echo, incredulous. “What the fuck does that even mean?”
He looks at you. Blinks once. Then shrugs, like he’s just now realizing how stupid he sounds.
“I don’t know, man. Just—make ‘em all wide and cute.”
You stare.
Then scoff. Loud. Disbelieving.
“You want me to look dumb and innocent while I suck your cock? That’s what you’re into?”
His eyes widen. “No—Jesus, no. Not like that.”
You raise an eyebrow. “Seriously? Because you sound like a creep.”
He groans. “God, you’re always so fucking blabbermouthed.”
“And you’re always so fucking vague,” you shoot back.
He glares at you. “I don’t mean, like—virgin vibes, okay? I mean that look you get. When you’re being a little shit. When you’re pushing buttons and pretending you’re not. That’s what I like.”
You blink. Your mouth opens. Then closes again.
He leans forward slightly, voice dropping. “I want you to suck my fucking cock like it’s all you want, while pretending you’re not sucking my soul through it. That’s what I’m talking about. Not some weird creepy thing.”
“Oh.” 
You blink once before pursing your lips thoughtfully again. 
“…Okay.”
Because okay indeed. You know what he means.
You hate that you know what he means.
He rolls his eyes, but his cock hasn’t softened. If anything, it’s thicker now. Heavier. The head flushed a deeper pink, veins more prominent. Like he gets off on arguing with you. Like this whole back-and-forth is foreplay.
And maybe it is. He’s already said twice he likes it when you’re mouthy.
Is this what he wants? You pretending you don’t know what you’re doing while you absolutely do?
You take a deep breath before shifting forward again—this time making a conscious effort to widen your eyes as much as possible while looking up at him through your lashes.
Big and round and innocent or whatever. Like you have no idea what effect this is having on him—even though the way his breath catches in his throat tells you exactly what kind of power you hold right now.
And yeah… maybe this is what he wants: you, pretending not to know exactly what you're doing while totally knowing anyway.
So that’s what you give him.
Wide eyes locked on his face as your lips part once more—and then slowly close around the head of his cock again.
And then, your hand moves faster.
Not sloppy. Not rushed. Just—more. More pressure, more rhythm, more confidence. Like your body’s finally synced up with his. Like you’ve figured out the exact tempo that makes him twitch and grunt and grip the couch like it’s the only thing keeping him tethered to earth.
And he’s feeling it.
Hard (okay that was kinda funny, don’t deny it). 
You can tell by the way his thighs tense under your palms, muscles flexing every time your fist glides down his shaft and back up again. By the way his abs jump when your thumb flicks under the head. By the way he’s breathing now—through his teeth, through his throat, like he’s trying not to make noise but losing the battle.
You keep your mouth soft around the tip. Suction just enough to make it wet and warm and tight. Tongue moving in slow, deliberate waves underneath—right there, under the crown, where he’s taught you he’s most sensitive. 
And it’s funny, because you can feel it. The way he jerks every time your tongue drags across that spot, the way his cock pulses in your mouth like it’s trying to say yes, that, again, more.
And you don’t stop.
You keep eye contact, too. Big, wide, innocent. Like you’re not doing anything special. Like you’re just here, hanging out, casually ruining his life with your mouth.
He looks down at you, and his face is—fuck.
Wrecked.
Brows scrunched, mouth half open, eyes glassy like he’s buffering. Like his brain’s trying to load the next thought but keeps getting stuck on your lips.
Then he groans.
Low and guttural and sharp, like it got dragged out of his chest with a hook.
“Oh my—fffuckkkk—”
His voice breaks halfway through the word, like his throat just gave up. His hand shoots out, grabbing the back of the couch, knuckles white.
“Fuckin’—god, Nix—”
You swirl your tongue again, slow and mean, and he whines.  Actually whines. Like a kicked puppy. 
“I’m gonna—” he pants, hips twitching up into your fist, “—I’m gonna bust a fat nut, I swear to god—”
You snort around him. Can’t help it. The phrase is so fucking stupid, so him, and so hot in the dumbest possible way.
He hears it. Groans again. Throws his head back against the couch cushion and drags a hand down his face like he’s trying to physically hold himself together.
“Don’t laugh at me, you little—fuck, that tongue—”
You do it again. That wave motion. Just to be a menace. Just to see if he’ll break.
He does.
"Y-you have no idea," he pants, Adam's apple bobbing frantically as he swallows between words. "No fucking clue what you do to me when you—hnngh—when you stare up at me with those goddamn eyes while my cock's in your mouth."
His voice is all over the place now. Cracked. Desperate. Like he's trying to keep it together but you're not giving him a single inch of relief.
"Angel," he breathes, and okay, that’s a first (but at least it’s not ‘baby’, ew?) "You're gonna make me cum so hard. So fucking hard I might black out."
Your tongue flicks again—right against that sensitive bundle—and his whole body jerks like you've touched a live wire.
"Christ,” he hisses through clenched teeth. "I can't—I can't even—"
You keep going.
Hand stroking faster. Tongue teasing. Mouth suctioning just the tip, just the crown, just enough to make him lose his mind.
"Nix," he warns, voice strained and desperate. "I'm right there. Right fucking there. You're about to make me—"
His cock pulses against your tongue, the tip growing impossibly harder, slick and hot and heavy in your mouth as his whole body gets visibly ready to detonate. 
“Nix,” he pants, voice raw and desperate. “Nix, I’m—I can’t—fuck, I’m gonna—”
His breath catches. Swallowed back like it’s too big to spit out. His whole chest stutters with it, like the air’s too thick to pull in, like the pressure’s building faster than he can handle.
“Y’tongue,” he gasps, barely coherent, hips twitching up into your fist. “Stick—god, god god—stick it out f’me. Stick that pretty tongue out f’me, Nix. C’mon—”
You don’t hesitate. You just do it. Mouth popping off the head with a wet little tsk, tongue sliding out slow and flat, glistening with spit and still tinged with the taste of him. 
You hold it there, just like he asked.
And he groans.
“Look at—” he starts, but you’re already there. 
Already staring up at him with those same wide, round eyes he asked for. 
Tongue out, lips parted, face tilted up like you’re waiting for it.
He jerks forward, one hand flying to his cock, wrapping around himself and taking over. 
Fast. 
Rough. 
Desperate. 
Like he’s been holding back too long and now he’s got seconds left before he combusts.
“Yeah—ahhh—shit—ah—ah—fuck—”
And then—he breaks. Makes these little grunting, bitten-off noises—like he’s trying to hold them in but can’t. Like every spasm punches another sound out of him. Cums. Hard.
Hot, thick ropes strip across your face—cheeks, lips, chin. 
Some of it hits your tongue, sticky and salty and obscene. 
It drips down your jaw, slides over your skin in messy, wet streaks, and he’s still going. Still twitching. Still jerking himself through it like he’s trying to drain every last drop.
“Oh my god—” he chokes out, voice cracking. “Oh my fucking god—”
His head tips back, eyes blown wide and mouth slack with disbelief.
“You have the prettiest fucking eyes, Nix.”
And he sounds so, so wrecked while he says it, that you can’t help but believe him.
Like it’s the filthiest thing he’s ever said. Or maybe the most honest. 
You don’t know why your chest twists into knots. 
You don’t know why his eyes, hazed, dizzy, looking down at you is suddenly one of your favorite views. 
But you did it. You excelled at it. 
And Jungkook liked it. 
That’s what matters. 
He gives his cock a few lazy strokes, working the last drops out like he’s wringing water from a sponge, chest rising and falling in slow, heavy breaths.
Your eyes catch on the faint sheen of sweat on his collarbone and the way his lips are parted just enough for his tongue to dart out to wet them.  
“Fuck…” he mutters. “Fucking hell.” 
Another breath, deeper this time, like he’s trying to find his footing again. 
“That was fucking amazing.”  
You smile—small, sly, the kind of smile that doesn’t need to try too hard. 
“That easy, huh?”  
He snorts, running a hand through his hair, pushing it back from where it’s fallen into his eyes. 
“When you’ve got a mouth like yours? Yeah.”  
The compliment shouldn’t make your cheeks warm. It’s just Jungkook being Jungkook, all cockiness and shameless flirting. But still, you feel a flutter of… something. 
Pride, maybe. Or just the lingering high of having him completely at your mercy.
You push yourself up from your knees slowly, legs stiff from being on the tile for too long. There’s a moment where you think he might reach out to steady you—his hand twitches like it’s considering it—but he doesn’t. Just watches as you stand and brush your hands down your thighs like that’ll somehow make this whole thing feel less messy.  
“Gonna clean this mess up,” you say, already turning toward the bathroom before he can respond.  
“Want me to help?” His voice follows you—soft but not hesitant. Like it’s just something he’d offer anyone without thinking twice about it.  
You pause mid-step, glancing over your shoulder at him. 
He’s still seated on the couch, pants and boxers shoved down his hips, shirt rumpled and sticking to his skin in places. He looks ridiculous and hot at the same time—like someone who just got thoroughly wrecked but hasn’t quite figured out how to pull himself back together yet.
And for some reason—maybe because he asked so easily—you feel your throat tighten awkwardly.
“Uh…” You hesitate, fingers brushing against the edge of the doorway as you try to find the right words. “No. No, I’m fine.”  
He doesn’t say anything at first—just purses his lips slightly and nods like he’s accepting your answer even if he doesn’t entirely believe it.  
It should be awkward, but it’s… not. Not entirely. Just unfamiliar. 
New territory you’re not sure how to navigate.
“…But thank you,” you add quickly before darting into the bathroom like a coward.
When was the last time you thanked Jungkook for anything?
You lean against the door for a moment, eyes closed, trying to process what just happened. Not just the blowjob—that part’s easy enough to compartmentalize—but the rest of it. 
Not the banter either, you do that too. 
The almost-friendly moment afterward.
It felt… nice. Easy, even. 
Like maybe being friends with Jungkook wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.
Maybe that’s why you step out after cleaning your face, instead of hiding in your room like you normally would. 
Maybe that’s why your eyes search for his as you enter the living room.
He’s already sprawled out like nothing happened. One arm stretched across the back cushions, legs spread wide in that annoying way men always seem to take up space. He’s even cracked one of the floor-to-ceiling windows open, letting in a cool breeze that’s slowly clearing out the lingering scent of sex.
Griffin’s curled against his side, purring loudly as Jungkook absently scratches under his chin. The cat gives you a lazy blink when you appear, like he knows exactly what you’ve been doing and is judging you for it.
You clear your throat, crossing your arms over your chest. Your eyes drift to the TV—some car restoration show you don’t recognize playing—before finding their way back to him.
“So,” you start, the word hanging awkwardly in the air between you. “Do you have plans this afternoon?”
He looks up, one eyebrow quirked in mild surprise. “After you get off work, you mean?”
“Yeah.” You shift your weight, suddenly feeling awkward. “I’m done at five.”
Why is this awkward? You just had his dick in your mouth, for fuck’s sake. Asking about his schedule shouldn’t feel more intimate than that. 
“No plans.” His fingers continue their gentle scratching behind Griffin’s ears, the cat purring so loudly you can hear it from where you’re standing. “Why? You offering something better than my thrilling agenda of watching YouTube guitar tutorials and ordering takeout?”
You roll your eyes, but there’s no real annoyance behind it. “There’s this new exhibit at the MoMA I’ve been wanting to check out. Photography thing.” 
You shrug like it doesn’t matter either way. Like you’re not actually inviting him to do something that doesn’t involve getting naked. 
“Thought maybe you’d be into it. Being a film major and all.”
“Phoenix wants to hang out with me? Voluntarily? Without the promise of orgasms? I’m shocked.”
“Forget it,” you mutter, already turning toward your room. “It was just a thought.”
“Hey, no—wait.” He sits up straighter, disturbing Griffin who gives an annoyed meow. “I’m in. The photography exhibit sounds cool.”
You pause, glancing back at him. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He nods, and for once, there’s no teasing edge to his voice. “I’ll meet you after work? We could grab dinner after, if you want.”
“Sure.” You try to sound casual, like this isn’t the first time you’ve made actual plans together. “There’s this place in the East Village I’ve been wanting to try. Nothing fancy, just… food.”
“Food is good. I’m a fan of food.” He grins.
“Great. I’ll text you when I’m done.” You head toward your room, needing to get ready for work. 
“Sure, Nix.”
As you close your bedroom door, you can’t help but wonder what the hell you’re doing. This feels suspiciously like the friendship you’ve been so adamantly avoiding. 
But maybe—just maybe—it wouldn’t be the end of the world to actually enjoy his company with your clothes on for once.
Besides, you need to keep him occupied until eight. Yoongi had been very specific about the timing when he texted you this morning about Jungkook’s surprise birthday dinner.
Keep him out until 8. Taehyung and Hobi are setting up. Don’t mention ramen.
And yet, he hasn’t even spoken about his birthday to you. 
What kind of person doesn’t mention their own birthday? 
The same kind who makes protein pancakes and pretends everything’s fine when it’s clearly not, probably.
You check your phone. 9:15. Plenty of time to get ready for work and figure out how to navigate this strange new territory where you and Jungkook do normal people things together. 
Like friends.
The word still feels foreign, uncomfortable. 
But not entirely wrong.
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zorosunwashedleftcheek · 2 months ago
Text
Self Restraint
summary: Zoro’s grown a bit too content in his life after beginning to date you… too lazy. After finding an interesting magazine, he finds the perfect way to train himself in self restraint… with your help.
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cw: f!reader, established relationship, edging, overstimulation, orgasm delay/denial, uhhh nsfw if you couldn’t tell
a/n: if the tense keeps changing, no it doesnt
~
Zoro prides himself on being a man with little to no wants or needs.  If he has food, a place to sleep, and of course, his swords, he can survive anyone and anything. 
And then you came along and trampled his holy trinity into the ground beneath your pretty little shoe.  As he spent more time with you, he found that he was *wanting*. Wanted to see your face.  Wanted to hear your voice.  Wanted to feel your body.
It’s only gotten worse since you had reciprocated his feelings on that fateful night on the Thousand Sunny.  That night when he cradled you so close, his breath mingling with yours and those sweet, sweet, lips of yours crying his name.
That’s when those wants turned to needs.  The gates of heaven had opened to him and he didn’t have it in himself to turn away.
He was becoming selfish, taking and taking and taking simply because he enjoyed it.
He found himself in your room when he could be training.  Whispering sweet praises into your ears when he should be meditating.
Roronoa Zoro is growing lazy and he doesn’t like it one bit. His self control is slipping and it’s all your fault.  But he had absolutely no clue how to fix the mess he’d gotten himself into. 
~
The idea only struck him when he had found himself rummaging through Sanji’s locker, in search of the sword polish he had been so sure that asshole had taken.  In his search he accidentally stumbled upon a certain kind of magazine, certainly not the one delivered by the News Coo.  The swordsman could only assume where the perv had gotten it from.  Zoro had shoved the magazine back where he found it… but not before ripping a page out and shoving it in his pocket.
~
It’s about mid afternoon when Zoro stalks into your shared quarters and strips until he’s as naked as the day he was born.  He casts his clothes to the floor and stares at you, a scowl on his lips, as if expecting something.  “Hey,” Zoro huffs, “Hey woman.”
You’re reading, or maybe writing, Zoro’s a bit too preoccupied to tell.  His mind is busy thinking of the best way to propose the ludicrous idea that has been swimming in his head the past few nights.
You lazily glance up at Zoro, giving his toned body a quick once over, before turning back to your papers.  “Mhm… you look very strong.” You hum placatingly with a firm nod.  You’ve seen Zoro naked enough times by now to no longer be fazed… that much.  You’ve grown used to him coming into your room and taking off his shirt, waiting for you to compliment his physique, or ask him how he had trained that day.  It’s a bit prideful, but you’ve come to find it endearing, and frankly flattering that he wants to hear praise from you.  Many say that he’s blunt, but it’s a trait that you’ve come to love about him-
“Tch.  I need you to jerk me off.” The swordsman makes a vague motion with his hand before stooping down to dig around in his pockets. He produces a paper, it’s torn and crumpled.  Zoro thrust it out awkwardly, waving it around as he waits for you to take it.
Now that catches your attention.  You blink once, then twice.  You drop your book and look at him with raised eyebrows.  Your boyfriend isn’t one to blush, he’s no prude, and he knows what he wants, but your eyes land on his ears, where the tips are just the slightest bit pink. Cute.  Crawling towards the end of the bed and snatching the waving paper from his hand, your lip twitches in amusement.
In big red letter it reads, ‘Train Your Pup’ and below it is a pornographic photo of a man and woman on a bed, the man with tears in his eyes as the woman has her hand wrapped around his almost inhumanly large cock.  The man has obviously cum multiple times, his entire body flushed as the woman sits behind him, her chin resting on his shoulder while her pretty manicured nails grasp the man’s flushed and abused length.  You aren’t one to judge, but this picture is rather extreme; nipple clamps, handcuffs… and is that a whip in the corner?
You try to stifle your laughter as you look back up to Zoro, his expression entirely serious as he nods his head to you.  “I won’t cum.” He says firmly, his hands balled into fists, “But you need to try your best to make me.”
“…Edging.” You supply.
“Sure.” Zoro snatches the paper from your hands and points at the man, “And I won’t cry like this fool either.  If I ever cry during sex or otherwise, I want you to stab me through the heart.”
You blink up at him, what is this about, and how did he find an erotic magazine.  He wouldn’t…
“You’re not Sanji right?  Did you guys switch bodies or something?”
Zoro’s face sours as if he had just sucked on a lemon and you wave a hand at him, “Sorry, forget I asked.  This just isn’t very… I don’t know… you.”
“It’s training, woman.” Zoro crumples the page into a ball and tosses it into a random corner. “You’ve made me lazy and content, this is your fault.”
You are completely and utterly confused, but if this is what Zoro wants… you aren’t going to deny him.
That’s how you end up with your back against the headboard with Zoro practically in your lap.  Your legs resting on top of his as if to keep his thighs parted.  You try to replicate the position of the woman in the photo, but Zoros’ shoulders are a bit too broad and he has to slump slightly to let you see what you’re doing.
He’s only half hard and your hand absentmindedly strokes up and down to get him fully erect. It’s training after all, Zoro idsn’t exactly preoccupied with sex. You rest your cheek against his shoulder, looking at his face in an attempt to get a glimpse of what he’s thinking.  But he simply watches your hand, as if mesmerized by the way your thumb slides against his tip, making his breath catch just slightly.  Your hand looks small compared to his cock, your thumb and middle finger just barely able to wrap around his base.
Zoro loves watching your hand work, the way your hand would slide down to cup his balls while the other eased precum out of his steadily throbbing cock.  He blinks and suddenly he’s fully erect, his tip brushing against his abdomen. Damn, that was fast.
“We should think of a safe word.” Your words lull against Zoro’s ear and he is paying just enough attention to furrow his brow in confusion.
“Hell’s that?” He gruffs, shifting his hips and parting his thighs more to give you better access, your nails run along Zoro’s length and he clicks his tongue.
“You’re dense, y’know that?  It’s for if it becomes too much, you say the word and I stop.”
“I won’t need that.  I’ve grown lazy but I still have some self control.”
“Zoro.”
“Seriously, woman, I don’t need it.”
“Zoro.”
“Gah, fine.” Zoro’s face turns into an annoyed scowl, you had pulled your hand away when he had begun to argue with you and he didn’t like it.  His thighs twitch. “Pick a word then, I don’t care.”
“Bumblebee.” Zoro can feel your amused smile against his back and he groans quietly, muttering about how stupid this was it is and how he didn’t need a damn safe word.
As you begin to stroke Zoro’s cock at a relatively controlled pace, your hand starting at the base before sliding up with a loud schlick, you’d spend a few moments taking care of his tip before grasping firmly and tugging back down.
Zoro grits his teeth and looks to the ceiling, his fingers twitching. “Today, we’ll only do 40 minutes-“
Your hand pauses and you pull back slightly, “40 minutes? You’re joking, my wrist will get tired.”
“Then use your mouth.”
Zoro tries to meditate at first, keep the feeling of pleasure at bay.  But he’s not used to trying to deny an orgasm before.  For Zoro, an orgasm isn’t some prolonged event, he would spend a few minutes feeling fucking great and then he would move on with his life.  Before you, self pleasure was nothing but merely rubbing a quick one out in the shower, or lying in bed and tugging at his cock as if trying to rip it off. And once he met you, not much changed, except for the fact that he had someone to picture when he touched himself. 
Zoro found that he cared much more for your pleasure, the feeling of himself orgasming is simply an added bonus.
Of course, Zoro likes fucking.  He loves it, really.  The way it feels, the intimacy, the control.  But what he liked even more was you being fucked.
Zoro feels much better about himself when he’s making you twitch and gasp as his tongue swirls your clit.  His dick never feels better than when you’re begging him to fuck you with it. His voice never sounds more attractive than when he’s whispering soft praises in your ears. It almost feels like a sin to prioritize his pleasure over your own.
On the rare occasion that Zoro would let you suck him off, he enjoyed it, sure, but he’d much rather have you ride his face. He doesn’t like the idea of him being the only one being pleasured, it makes him feel almost… humiliated.  Despite how much you would reassure him that making him feel good made you feel good, it always left a strange feeling in his stomach.
So yeah… this is a new experience for him to simply sit there… and take it.  Is this how you always feel when he takes care of you?
His abdomen spasms as your hand speeds up and he curses quietly, torn from his thoughts.  “Other hand… use it…” He pants softly, his fingers digging into the fat of your thigh as he licks his lips.
Zoro shuts his eyes again, steadying his breath as you add your second hand to the mix. You work skillfully, it’s fucking annoying. He runs through the steps of how to clean a sword.  He imagines training with his sword.  Imagines the basics of wielding a sword.
Swing, step through.
Swing, step through.
Swing, step-
Fuck, you smell good.
Your lips latch onto his neck and startle him from the half meditative state he had managed to pull himself into.  Zoro grunts, his hips bucking and his lips pursing.  
His cock aches, he’s close.
Soft grunts and huffs spill past his lips and he slips a hand behind himself, wedging his fingers between your navel and his back.  He shimmy’s his digits past your shorts and tugs on the hood of your clit.  But instead of stimulating the small bud as you were expecting, he pushes past and slides his finger along your slit.  He listens to the soft keen that escapes your lips and he nearly cums right then and there.  He jerks against your hold, sitting up straighter as that soft sound of pleasure echos in his mind.
He thought that maybe he could finger you in an attempt to distract himself.  Usually he could go hours just from simply playing with your pussy, watching it weep and tense with the smallest movement of his finger.  It’s almost therapeutic for him to sit you down in his lap after a long training session and toy with your pretty puffy pussy until you yell at him, your face as pink as your folds as you berate him for teasing you.
But toying with you would decidedly not work in his favor today, he’s already sensitive enough, and even the memory of your flushed face makes his eyes widen in panic as he realized he’s about to cum.
He tugs his hand out of your shorts as if he had been burned, his fingers are soaked, just from that one swipe.  He glances at you from over his shoulder and groans at the sight of your sheepish smile. 
Fuck, you’re so wet.
Fuck… he wants to cum.
But training…
Zoro suddenly jerks and swats at your thigh, surely leaving a red mark, “Hey- shit… Hey!” He barks and you seem to get the message, your hands slowing to a stop, only your thumb stroking back and forth.
The pirate hunter furrowed his brow as the feeling of his orgasm withdrew.  It felt… frustrating.  And he felt angry.
Raking a hand through his wet hair- when had he grown so sweaty?- and taking a few steadying breaths.  He nodded at you, “Alright… go again.”
You seem to hesitate for a moment, “Remember the safe word?” You gain a sour look in response.
Your hands begin their pace again, your soft skin working up and down his throbbing cock.  The room is filled with wet *shlicks* and muffled grunts and groans escaping from Zoro’s lips.
This time, it felt as though the orgasm came on faster, trying to take him by surprise.  Zoro doesn’t even recognize he’s about to cum at first, but you do.  Because you’ve always paid close attention to him.
Your hands slow, but just barely,  “Zoro… hey, focus.” You encourage softly.  Sure, you don’t quite understand why this supposed ‘training’ is so necessary.  But if it’s important to Zoro, then it’s important to you.
Zoro grits his teeth, one hand fisting the mattress while the other grabs at your thigh, his large fingers digging and massaging as his hips buck up against you.  He hisses, his eyes squeezed tight.
Swing, step through
Swing, step through
swing,stepthroughswing,stepthroughswing,stepthrough
His body shudders and he peers his eyes open, forcing his vision to focus until they landed on the stupid black cat clock that you love so much.  The tail waving back and forth, as if taunting him.
Zoro stares at the numbers and blinks.
And blinks again.
And maybe he even blinked a third time
It’s only been 12 minutes.
12 goddamn minutes that had stretched into an eternity yet compressed into no time at all.
40 minutes… perhaps Zoro was a bit overconfident.
“That clock’s not right…” Zoro accuses, his breath ragged and a shuddering groan escaping his lips.
“Hm? Yes it is.”
“Oh, fuck me…”
It was minute 23 when the world renowned pirate hunter, master of the three sword style, right hand man of the straw hat pirates, Roronoa Zoro broke.
Well… in his eyes, and maybe yours too.
It was minute 17 when he had his first orgasm, there was quite a lot of cum, more than normal for him.  His entire body had felt as though it were alight as you whispered soft words in his ears.  Zoro had no fucking clue what you said to him.
Roronoa Zoro had failed, but perhaps he could still salvage this.  When you moved to pull away, he grit his teeth and shook his head.  He didn’t trust himself to speak,
but he needed you to keep going.  He failed a rep but he would still finish this damn workout.
Since then he’s been a mess, his body shiny with sweat.  His muscles jumping from the barest brush of your arm.  Zoro’s cock aches, a dull throb that echoed through his body with each movement of your hand.
You were also growing bolder.  You seemed to like seeing Zoro like this.  Evil woman.
“You look like a watermelon, Zoro.” You giggle, nibbling on his blushing ear and making a hot spurge of cum erupt from Zoro’s flushed cock.  Damn, he really was no better than the man from the magazine.
You press a kiss to his flushed cheek, you don’t think you’ve ever seen your boyfriend as flushed as he is right now.  You press your temple to his green locks, your hand is covered, and the sheets are ruined.
“God- Fuckin-“ Zoro’s hips buck so aggressively that he nearly sends you tumbling off the bed.  
Your hand subconsciously tightens around his shaft as you steady yourself.  And you hear a sound that you don’t think has ever escaped your boyfriend’s lips before.
A quiet, shuddering whine.
He pauses, and you pause as well.  He slowly looks over his shoulder and give you an unamused look, but it doesn’t quite give the intended effect with his flushed, sweaty face and the drool that had begun to collect at the corner of his mouth.
“Don’t even- mph…” Zoro is cut off as he catches that evil glint in your eyes right before you begin to stroke him once again… hard.  Your hand feels as though it’s choking his cock, cum collecting on your fingers and dribbling down your wrist.  You move at a pace that shouldn’t be allowed and Zoro feels as though he’s transcended heaven into a realm where he couldn’t tell if he was feeling pleasure or pain.
You’re not sure if you’ve ever seen Zoro so vocal.  But you find it’s one of the best things you’ve ever seen or heard.  Sounds escape his lips that sound straight out of a porno.
Zoro never strayed from grunts and groans when he had sex, you were blessed with the occasional moan or shuddering breath every once in a while.  But never before had you heard these… whines and whimpers.
He bucks and groans beneath your diligent hand.  His eyes rolling back and his bottom lip ground down to raw flesh.
You glance at the clock, only a few minutes left.  You almost feel bad for the guy, the way his entire body twitches as thin, watery cum dribbles down his cock to join the puddle on his stomach.
“Only three more minutes, Zoro, you’re doing so good, yeah?” You try to encourage him, but the sound of your voice seems to make his sounds of pleasure louder.
“Fuck… y/n… stop talking… you’re gonna make me-“
Zoro’s head lolls to the side to look at you and his face softens at the sight of your encouraging smile.  His mouth that had been twisted into a sneer slowly relaxed and he caught your lips.  His mouth was clumsy, his mind in some far off place, but you didn’t mind.  If anything, it made your heart beat faster.
“Should I make you cum one more time or-“
“Fuck no.” Zoro hisses as your hand pulls away from his red, twitching cock.  He glares down at his twitching thighs and clicks his tongue, trying to get his breathing under control.  His body was nothing but a damn traitor.
You giggle, Zoro slumps back against you and can feel your back digging into the headboard.  Zoro peers up at you between squinted eyes, his lips shiny with his saliva.  He narrows his gaze, “That was humiliating.”
“You asked for it.  And I told you that forty minutes is insane.” You rest your hands on your thighs, leaning forward to hover over Zoro, your stupid, pretty, grin filling his vision.
“I need to train this.  We need to do it again… tomorrow.”
You stare at Zoro’s completely serious face,
not a hint of teasing, but then your eyes slide to his ears that have somehow grown a shade darker, “Nuh uh… you liked it, didn’t you?”
Zoro glares at you but doesn’t argue, and you huff out a laugh.  Zoro would never lie to you.  The swordsman groans and twists in your lap until he’s lying on his stomach, he shimmy’s down until he’s able to rest his chin on your thigh.  A soft, content hum escapes his lips.  Zoro grins at the sight of you licking your lips and the way your breath shudders.  
You know what? He deserves a reward for training so hard today.
“You’re still wet, yeah? Wanna say thank you.”
~
557 notes · View notes
bvidzsoo · 4 months ago
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You can run but you can't hide
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Author: bvidzsoo
Pairing: vampire hunter!Jeong Yunho x vampire!female reader
𓇬 Warning: rather suggestive, gore, blood, violence, death, murder, lot's of blood drinking, manhandling, toxic relationship, lots of hate ngl, maybe some medical inaccuracies, slight power dynamic? 𓇬 Word count: 25.8k 𓇬 Rating: mature 𓇬 Genre: vampire x vampire hunter romance, enemies to lovers, they've known each other for centuries, modern time setting, doctor!reader, cop!Yunho, smut, angst 𓇬 Summary: You thought your life ended with your sister's, but then you realised there was nothing sweeter than revenge. Finding the vampire hunter who had killed your sister proved to be easier than you had first anticipated, but you changed your plans last minute. Walking away after turning him into a vampire wasn't your smartest move, and you'd learn to profusely regret it.
A/N: Oh my, oh my, lovelies I'm back! Starting off the new year with this monster of a oneshot? Yup, this took me like two weeks to write, and I hope it's good and that you'll love it! ^^ I'm working on a Mingi mini-series, so look out for that! Let me know if I didn't tag something, and let me know what you thought of this piece! I appreciate your feedback lots. <3 I hope y'all had a lovely weekend, and honestly, huge shootout to @spiralala because if they didn't send in that ask, this oneshot wouldn't exist lmao, so if you read this, I hope you enjoy it! Man, my gallery is a shrine of Yunho performing that Oz thingy, istg I have a problem but he looked so hot that day ugh...see y'all again soon! ^^ divider
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            There was nothing more pleasant than hearing the writhing man’s moans on the floor, his eyes rolled to the back of his head as he clutched his forearm. His face was bruised from the blows he had taken prior, blood dripping from the corner of his mouth as his smooth light blue velvet suit was all muddy and torn. The violin in the distance created a haunting ambivalence with the rattling wind, chilling you down to the bone…if you could feel it. I circled the man, his left hand still tightly clutching his silver stake, and a malicious chuckle tumbled past my lips. He looked pathetic laying in his own pool of blood, his pride not letting him beg for his life…yet. I could make any man beg; he wasn’t different. Once the venom started spreading through his bloodstream, he’d be screaming for me to put him out of his misery. If he begged nicely, I might make his demise quicker than planned.
“Look at you,” I snarled, lips curling into a disgusted smile as he blindly whacked his hand out, trying to aim for me uselessly, “So pathetic, so frail, so…human. Weren’t those serums supposed to make you strong?”
The man heaved a sharp breath, his eyes snapping open. They were hazy and painted with pain, but the fire was still rampant in them, furious, and so ready to wreak havoc…if only he could, “I’m-I’m going to—ugh—I will kill you, monster.”
“Yeah? You will?” I chuckled, giving his torso a good kick, making the man cry out in pain. He tried to pull his legs to his chest, still gripping his silver stake, sweat beading his bruised face. He breathed through his mouth, his right hand convulsing as his jaw clenched, “When? Are you sure you can do that right now, darling?”
“Don’t—” But he couldn’t speak as a yell tore through his lips, his whole face going beat red as he trashed around on the cold forest floor. The leaves had long died, and snow was supposed to fall anytime. I watched as the man tried to regain some sanity, but his veins started blackening. The venom was spreading, once it reached his heart, he was a gone man.
“Don’t what?” I hissed, grabbing the layers of my skirt and bunching them up so that I could crouch down next to him. He tried stabbing at me pathetically, barely able to lift his arm anymore, so I kicked the stake out of his hand, sending it flying into the tree closest to us. It stuck into it, my jaw clenched as I watched it, wondering just how many of my fellow vampires’ lives it had taken. The man at my mercy was a vicious hunter, the best in their coven, and he had taken my sister’s life. He deserved no mercy nor forgiveness, and none would be given to him tonight. He had messed with the wrong vampire, I shall not stop until my sister is avenged, “I’ve dreamed of this moment, hunter. Want to know why?”
He spluttered words intangibly, and I gripped his thick black hair to yank his head back. His eyes flew open and he tried to trash away from me, but the venom had his body mobilized, “You think I don’t know?”
His words were barely a whisper, his throat no doubt on fire. His sheer willpower was impressive, others would’ve already succumbed to the excruciating pain. My eyebrows furrowed slightly, curious as much as confused. How could a mere mortal hold on for so long? I would’ve found it impressive if it was anyone else.
“Yeri.” The utterance of my sister’s name brought a painful stab to my frozen heart as if I was the one stabbed to death by the vampire hunter at my mercy. Her name leaving his lips felt like a sin, it made bile rise in my throat as my hands started shaking, paralyzing anger streaming through my bloodstream. He had no right saying her name, his smug smile despite the painful wince burned into the back of my mind. I moved fast without thinking, gripping his jaw into a crushing hold as the hunter’s eyes widened. He didn’t look confident anymore, a shuddering breath left his lips as his body started trembling. My sharp nails dug into his skin to draw more blood, and I relished in the fire that burned through my body, leaving me even more hungry for revenge, for justice.
“You know what?” I whispered through gritted teeth as our eyes bled into each other’s, our faces mere inches away as I yanked him up effortlessly. He moaned in pain and clutched at his bleeding bite wound, his eyes slowly becoming bloodshot. Soon, he wouldn’t be able to see, “I was going to kill you, to end your pathetic existence for once and for all.”
He gulped nervously, but he showed no fear on his face, making me even angrier that he was still holding out, acting like this was nothing. I wanted him to scream in pain, to beg for his life, and promise he’d do anything for me if I kept him alive…but the vampire hunter remained true to the tales told about him around campfires. He was unafraid, dedicated, focused, fierce, and unapologetic. To think he could’ve lived for another day if he hadn’t fallen for my trap was almost satisfying enough. The ball was beautiful, people inside the castle were drunk, causing mayhem to their liking. The hunter had been part of the celebrating people before I managed to lure him away, far away from any prying eyes. He was strong and had managed to cut me here and there in our tousle, but it was nothing compared to the cuts I had given him. Cuts that would stay with him for eternity. I smirked, watching as life slowly drained from his once handsome face.
“But you made me realise something, hunter,” I paused, making sure he could still hear me as his heartbeat started vanning, “Letting you die is no punishment to someone like you, it’s an honour. And I cannot let you have it after what you’ve done to my sister, Yunho…no, I will turn you into the monster you’ve hated your whole life. I’ll create something you were taught to hate, to hunt. And I’ll enjoy every single moment of it, hunter.”
Nothing but Yunho’s widening eyes with fear and desperation could’ve given me this immense satisfaction I felt as my words dawned on him, words sputtering past his lips, intangible and breathy as he tried to grasp for his psyche. But he was far too gone to try and save himself now, and I closed my eyes to drink in the broken pleas falling off his lips, the begging and panic that coursed through his body, so delicious, so thrilling to take it all in. I bit my bottom lip as I felt my fangs shift, poking past my lip as Yunho shook his head furiously, his eyes filled with tears. Their redness blurred with his tears was almost beautiful.
“No, don’t do it—please,Y/N, you can’t—”
“I can’t?”
His screams fell to deaf ears as my fangs pierced the pale smooth skin of his neck, drinking his rich and warm blood…at least what was left of it. Feeling his lax body in my arms reminded me of my sister’s numb body, and I ignored the burning of my chest as I sucked the blood out of his system, only to replace it with a piece of mine, forever part of me for I was his creator and him my genesis.
Current time
            It had always amused me that despite all the monsters lurking in the shadows, humans never learned from their mistakes. Nighttime in a big city made no difference to the daytime, the wicked still prowled, catching the innocent in their web of lies and tricks. And due to that, the hospital never slept at night. The electronics’ low buzz was like a constant ringing in my ears, I could hear it even when I was far away from the hectic environment. My forehead creased as I read through another file, wondering where Yeosang had gone when we still had so many patients whose data wasn’t placed into our database. On a night like tonight, busier than usual, we were short on staff, so I had no choice but to help out with the administrative work if I wasn’t needed in the ER. My office was far away from the hustle and bustle of the emergency room, but still close enough that I was easily reachable in case of an emergency. The clock on the wall kept ticking, and my head had started aching at some point in the night. I still haven't gotten used to the fluorescent lights and the strong smell of sanitiser even after sixty years of being in the field. I was, however, thankful that I managed to get over my bloodthirst.
I cannot say there hadn’t been incidents when I had just started working as a doctor, but it was easily explainable if you knew how to cover your tracks. Besides, my coven was influential enough to get me out of trouble if I managed to mess up even after all these years of practice. I sighed and reached for my thermos, taking a sip of the salty fresh blood I had borrowed just at the beginning of my shift. Nobody would notice, there were enough blood donors daily, allowing me to take a few blood bags for myself and my coven. With the changing of times, we also had to change and accommodate to the modern world. Life was a lot easier now, and if you kept a low profile and knew the right people, staying under the radar wasn’t too difficult. If there was anything I missed from the eighteen hundreds, however, it was the possibility of coming and going without anyone keeping tabs on you. Social media was a fun thing that I couldn’t fully enjoy, not unless I wanted the leader of our coven breathing down my neck and locking me away for a century or two. So, empty and blank accounts were the only way to go by if I wanted to watch those stupid, but hilarious, reels that my coworkers sent to each other. Nobody was supposed to know, but I had one follower, and that was Yeosang, easily the first human I had actually grown to somehow care for.
He was adorable yet fierce, very loyal, and the hardest-working person I had come across in the few years I had been alive. But speaking of Yeosang, I glanced at the clock again and wondered if he had decided to take his much-needed break. It was close to midnight, he would usually join me at this hour and eat his meal in silence while I typed away on my computer. I pushed the glasses higher up on the bridge of my nose and focused back on my task, knowing it was best if I got this over with before the next influx of patients came. I wasn’t in the mood to work afterhours tonight, our leader had come up with a new tradition solely for her own enjoyment, and I needed every wink of sleep I could get if I wanted to sit through a night of nostalgic vampires conversing about the rottenness of our current world…as if we weren’t part of what made it worse. The clock to my left beeped and I jumped as the door of my office suddenly slammed open, Yeosang’s frantic eyes falling on me.
“Doctor!” For such an angelic face, it would surprise everyone when they first heard his deep voice, “We need you down, there was a shootout close by and several police officers were injured. You are needed to take care of the less serious ones.”
Well, duty calls then. I pressed the power off button of the screen and took my glasses off, closing the buttons of my white gown as I followed after Yeosang. His heart was beating fast as he dodged the few people in the hallway, hurriedly leading the way as I kept up with his pace. There was no reason for us to take the elevator, so we quickly ran down the stairs and headed for the ER, which was once again filled with patients in need.
“Doctor Bae!” The head doctor yelled once he noticed me, Yeosang and I headed over, “Room three is yours, we will send the patient in as soon as we’ve got his information noted down.”
I nodded and headed for the private rooms just past the doctor, eyes set on the third room. Yeosang ran ahead and pulled the door to the side for me, and I thanked him quietly as I rushed in to wash my hands and quickly wear clean glows. The screen on the wall beeped and I looked up at it, reading the extent of the cop’s injury. He was grazed by one bullet while he needed another one taken out, stitches no doubt necessary. I nodded to myself and was about to mentally map out my actions when the door was pulled to the side and Yeosang’s comforting voice flooded the room.
“Right here, Doctor Bae will now take care of you.” The man’s back was to me, and Yeosang was already at the door, “I’ll be back to assist you, Doctor, but I’m needed at the front desk still.”
I ushered him out with a flick of my wrist, knowing that I was capable of taking care of the patient on my own. This wasn’t my first time stitching up bullet wounds, besides, if the man was able to walk inside on his own, he was doing better than I had first expected. The examination room wasn’t too big, so it took me barely three steps to cross over and come to a standstill in front of the patient. Mouth opening to ask for the place of the injury, I froze when my eyes finally fell on his face. The silence was eery in the room as the man’s head raised, one reddish eye staring back at me widely. His heartbeat stuttered, and his blood smelt fresh and—alive. He wasn’t supposed to have a heartbeat. My mouth dropped open as my eyes ran over his face, trying to make sense of the situation. He looked the same as all those years ago. Youthful and handsome, slopping nose and pouty lips, cheeks flushed and jawline prominent. One eye, however, was hidden behind a black eye patch, his dark blue hair framing it so people wouldn’t stare at him. And yet, the sight of the vampire hunter wouldn’t have been so shocking if he didn’t feel so…human.
Without thinking, I grabbed his chin and tilted his head back, eyes tracking his smooth neck. The bitemark was gone since it wasn’t the first one on his body, long healed, yet the paleness and coldness of his skin felt familiar under my fingertips. His jaw had clenched as he yanked his head out of my grip, his expression transparent for once. He was seething, it was easy to see the hatred in his one eye…another telltale that he was a vampire, which left me confused as to why his heart was still beating.
“Look at you,” My voice was quiet, almost disbelieving as I let my eyes roam over his sturdy body, “I thought you would’ve killed yourself once you awakened as a vampire, but no, you’re living like all those monsters you hunted.”
His jaw clenched as I smirked, something heavy settling over my chest. Was it satisfaction? Then why did I not feel any pride gazing upon him? Wasn’t I supposed to feel smug and fulfilled that my creation was right in front of me? A successful transition was rare, sometimes the venom destroyed the human if they were too weak physically or mentally. I hadn’t even stuck around to make sure Yunho would indeed transform into a vampire, I wasn’t interested enough to see it to the end. The thought of knowing that I had made him suffer as much as I had suffered upon the loss of my sister was enough…it was everything I needed. So, seeing him now, the same body and soul I had drained the life from, why wasn’t I over the moon to know he had made it? That he was punished and living the nightmare I had trapped him inside of.
The shouting voices outside the room snapped me into action, I was a doctor first and foremost here, and he was my patient. I would’ve loved watching his blood dry out of his body as I made his bullet wound worse, but I would have lost everything I had built so far. Besides, he was a vampire, that wouldn’t kill him. I grabbed the hem of his leather jacket, intending to yank it off him, but suddenly long fingers were wrapped around my wrist.
“What are you doing?” Yunho hissed, his one eye narrowing suspiciously. I paused and raised an eyebrow.
“Patching you up, since I’m a Doctor…” I trailed off, letting it hang in the air as Yunho scoffed, his grip tightening around my wrist. It didn’t hurt, but it would’ve crushed my bone if I was a human, “Why are you bleeding? Vampires don’t bleed like this.”
But Yunho didn’t answer, he just pushed off the bed, towering over me. Any vampire hunter coven would’ve scrambled to have Yunho with them, he was practically designed to be one. Intimidatingly tall with a strong build, able to hunt and good at combat. He was fierce and fast, he was so quiet even the vampires failed to hear him coming. The serum his coven had forced him to drink only enhanced his skills, making him stronger and quicker than a human was supposed to be. He bled like any other one but his wounds healed faster, his grip was of iron, able to snap anyone’s neck in two. I wasn’t scared of him, not now, not back then. I had taken care of him once and showed him that he wasn’t untouchable nor undestroyable like he was made to believe. The pure rage I had felt back then was nothing but a simmer now, but it only needed a little timber to set it off once again, destroying anything in its path.
“I’m like this because of you.” Yunho was breathing hard as he grabbed my arm with his other hand, gripping it a bit too forcefully. I didn’t flinch as I stared up at him, trying to keep my satisfied smirk at bay. Provoking an irate vampire was never smart, especially not a stronger and bigger one, “I’ve been looking for you, Y/N, and I’m going to destroy you now that I’ve found you. You and your coven too.”
I chuckled cynically, grabbing his wrist to squeeze it until his hand turned blue from the loss of circulation, “Oh, really, now? Is that all you’ve got? An empty little threat? I’m so—”
But I never got to finish my taunting as I was flung into the nearest wall, the breath knocked from my lungs as I collided with the strong surface. I caught myself quickly, though, and looked at Yunho unimpressed. Was this the best he got? He had done more damage as a human compared to this.
“That’s not how you treat your doctor, Yunho, should I sedate you?” The brush of wind touched my cheek as Yunho stood in front of me once again, perhaps impressively fast. I smiled at him, crossing my arms in front of my chest, “Why don’t you sit down and—”
I gasped as my airways were constricted by a choking grip, the back of my head colliding with the wall as Yunho threw me up against it again, his fingers locked around my throat in a vice-like grip. My jaw clenched as I hissed at him, kneeling him in the groin. If this is how he wanted to play, I was going to give it to him. I kicked him in the stomach, sending him stumbling back as his eye narrowed again, darkness settling over it. I chuckled and ran towards him, throwing a punch that he easily dodged, but not so much the knee in his gut that had him groaning and hunching over. I chuckled and grabbed his hair, yanking his head back as he glared at me, “When will you learn that you can’t defeat me?”
Instead of an answer, an elbow came up and knocked my head back by the chin, making me bite my tongue painfully so. I hissed as my fangs poked past my bottom lips, letting Yunho know that I was triggered. Before I could get it back under control together with the fire in the pit of my stomach, he grabbed me by the hair and dragged me over to the medical table, grabbing the first thing he could…which was a scalpel that he held dangerously close to my eye.
“When will you stop underestimating me?” Yunho growled, and I tried to yank my head away, hands gripping the edge of the table, as one wrong move would have the scalpel in my eyeball, “I’m not a human anymore, Y/N.”
Before I could answer, the rattling of the door caught both of our attention. I sucked in a deep breath as the door started opening, Yeosang’s heartbeat pattern already familiar, “Doctor, I’m—”
But thankfully someone called his name out before he could pull the door open, “Gosh, okay—I’ll be with you in a second, Doctor Bae!”
“Who’s that little weasel?” Yunho leaned down, his hot breath hitting the side of my cheek, “Your little blood bag?”
“Watch your mouth.” I hissed and braced myself on the table as I forcefully yanked myself away and out of Yunho’s grip, kicking the back of his knees, and making him buckle forward. He was still holding the scalpel, so I yanked it out of his hand and held it to his neck as I yanked on his hair, “He’s a nurse, leave him alone.”
Yunho chuckled, grabbing my wrist and twisting it until I yelped, having to release him. He wasn’t even phased by the sharp knife cutting into his neck, fresh blood dribbling down his neck. His scent was sweet, almost intoxicating as my mouth started salivating. But I had no time to waste as Yunho twisted around, rising to his full height, grabbing me, only to fling me into the wall on the other side of the room. The door rattled as my body collided against it and a sharp pain shot up my spine, leaving me breathless as I lay on the floor, holding myself up by my arms.
“Did the modern age make you weak, Y/N?” Yunho taunted, his lips pulled into a vile sneer as he stalked towards me. I chuckled, brushing the hair out of my eyes as I looked up at him. Before I could answer, however, the door started opening again.
“Doctor, I—” I was up in a second, pushing the door closed and keeping it shut despite Yeosang’s struggle to open it.
“Get me gauze!” I called out, watching Yunho as he hadn’t stopped advancing towards me, “From my office!”
“But that’s too—”
“Now, Yeosang!” I shouted as Yunho snickered, grabbing me by my skull and squeezing. It wasn’t enough to crush it, but I winced as I tried to kneel him in the groin again, but he was smarter this time and knocked my leg almost out from underneath me with his. Then, very predictably, I was once again flung across the room, crashing into the machines and utility metal desk, a pained groan leaving my mouth as my side started throbbing.
“Doctor Bae?” Yeosang sounded alarmed as I heard his footsteps come closer once again, “Is everything—”
“Yes! Get me that gauze, now!” I shouted again, standing up and throwing Yunho a glare. I’ve had enough. I gritted my teeth as he chuckled, stalking towards me, no doubt wanting to throw me against another wall again. The room already looked like a mess, I couldn’t let him break even more expensive equipment. So, when he was close enough, I moved behind him before he could catch me, grabbing him by the hair and yanking as hard as I could as I veered him towards the examination table. I pressed his head against the cold metal and leaned forward, eyes set on the silver cutter I kept there for emergencies like this one. Yunho was trashing around like a wild animal in my hold, and I had to strain my muscles and use all the strength I had to keep him put with my body, but he thankfully went lax when the silver touched his cheek.
“You are done, do you hear me?” I hissed close to his ear, anger seeping into my voice, “I will not let you walk into my workplace and act like an animal. If you wish to kill me, fine, you can have your way outside the hospital.”
“A vampire having a conscience?” Yunho huffed, relaxing in my hold as I pressed the silver cutter deeper into his cheek to make a point.
“Times have changed, Yunho, but don’t think I have forgotten what you did.” I hissed and he shouldered me, making me step back, my grip falling from his hair. As he whirled around to face me, his face was red, his chest rising and falling rapidly. I didn’t drop the silver cutter even though it had started burning my skin too. It seems like Yunho didn’t take his time to train himself with silver, the cutter had left an angry red mark on his cheek.
“Oh, I’m glad you haven’t forgotten, Y/N.” He smirked, my stomach dropping, hatred blinding my mind, “I just regret not making it more painful for her, I wonder how much torture she could’ve taken before—”
The slap echoed in the trashed room as my chest fell and rose rapidly, my hands trembling as I tried to push the vision of Yeri’s numb body out of my mind. If I lost control in the hospital, everything would be compromised. We wouldn’t be able to just leave. I couldn’t let Yunho’s presence and words shake me up so hard, I was his creator and he’d never be able to dominate me…it’s not how things worked. Yunho slowly turned his head, glaring at me fiercely as he suddenly grabbed his side, wincing in pain. The black fabric was soft in my hand, and as I looked back up at his face, I realised I had yanked the eye patch off his face, now two round, but sharp eyes staring back at me. The eye that he had concealed looked normal, without any faults, until I looked closer. I still remember what Yunho’s human eyes looked like. They were a rich brown almost like dark chocolate, warm and deep, it was easy to get lost in them. And the concealed eye had remained the same as if his humanity had refused to let go of him. My eyebrows furrowed as I tried to recall having come across something like this before, but I came up empty-handed. Was he a vampire? Or was he a human?
“What are you?” I whispered, eyebrows furrowing as fresh blood oozed out of Yunho’s bullet wound.
“The monster you had created.” He hissed, his fangs suddenly flashing as he opened his mouth, his reddish eye bright under the white fluorescent light. But his heart continued to beat and his blood continued to flow, his brown eye odd against all the anomalies of his being. Before I could patch him up, however, he whirled around and stumbled towards the door, having me race after him.
“What are you doing?”
“I don’t need your help, I can heal just like you.”
And then the door was pulled open forcefully, rattling under Yunho’s strength. Yeosang was in the doorway, hand outstretched, and his eyes widened as he looked up at Yunho, then at me, confusion slowly overtaking his expression as he looked past us, and inside the examination room. The gauze I had asked for was in his hands, but he seemed lost for words.
“What—what happened?” He asked quietly, coming to Yunho’s aid when he stumbled forward, trying to leave the room. Before he could speak up and say anything, I chuckled and walked back inside the room, trying to tidy up the mess we had created.
“He’s a bit dizzy so he stumbled and fell.” Yeosang looked more confused as he held Yunho up, who was becoming paler by the second, “Don’t worry, he’s okay.”
“He doesn’t look okay, though,” Yeosang muttered and veered Yunho back inside the examination room.
“Just bring me water.” Yunho croaked out as he finally lay on the table, wincing as he tried to get rid of his leather jacket. Yeosang nodded and hurried towards the bottle of water, grabbing a clean cup for Yunho.
“Now stay silent and let me fix you.” I hissed under my breath as I tore his tee apart, eyebrows furrowing at the many scars littered across his abdomen. The first bullet had grazed his ribs and the other one was ledged in an otherwise life-threatening spot, but Yunho would be fine once I had extracted it. I made sure Yeosang didn’t see the second bullet as he handed Yunho his water, eyes sweeping over the room.
“I’ll try and fix up this place,” He muttered under his breath, giving me a questioning gaze. I nodded before I looked back at Yunho, who had started sweating. So much for playing the tough guy, he couldn’t even fix his problem without my help. But I didn’t forget what he had done to Yeri, and he wasn’t safe from the coven. They would hear about this, and I’d find out what caused him to turn into this half-looking human and vampire.
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            The end of my shift came with the orange sun brimming the horizon. The hospital was relatively calm once the police department left, and because we had to keep up the appearances, Yunho was advised to return in a few days to get his stitches checked. I hadn’t actually stitched him up since his body was already healing by the time the bullet was out, but nobody had to know that. One look from him told me I wouldn’t return to my coven if any human found out about his true nature. It was ironic, wasn’t it? Having to hide amongst the creatures you once used to be, used to love and cherish. Now, there was no resemblance to the human he had once been, just the pure darkness of the creature he had succumbed to. I recognised the look in his eyes, I had stared at it many times in the mirror in the past, but for someone so desperate to preserve their humanity, it was disarming to see none of it left in him.
The sounds of the busy road became white noise as I got off the highway, the dirt road leading me far away from the lively city and deeper into the forest. A typical location for a vampire coven’s mansion, but it’s what worked best for us. Nobody bothered us here, and we didn’t bother others either…well, except for the few neighbours who shared our wish for solitude. But the houses were far paced out, we rarely saw each other. If the elderly couple had already died, I wouldn’t be able to tell…except that the light was on outside their porch, and the man was having his first cup of coffee for the day ahead of him. He raised the mug in a greeting and I made sure to wave at him, wondering when was the last time I did a wellness check on them. They had no family to take care of them, so, out of generosity, I would visit them every few months to make sure they were as healthy as possible.
The mansion came in sight as I drove towards the driveway, four garage doors hiding our other luxury vehicles. I was never one to show off our unlimited wealth, but our leader had an eye for collectable pieces and wasn’t shy to parade around the city with them. I parked just to the side and took a deep breath, closing my eyes as the car’s engine was killed, utter silence wrapping around me. I smelled like the sanitiser from the hospital, and my white boots were dirty from Yeosang accidentally stepping on them in his rush to help other officers once Yunho was taken care of. My wrists ached from having typed on the computer numerous patients data, but my skin was cold and smooth. I didn’t have to worry about growing bloodthirsty, not for another week. The fridge inside the mansion was stuffed with blood bags, so making up another lie as to why I’d have to check on the blood donors again wasn’t necessary for a good month. I had a feeling Yeosang was growing suspicious of me, he’s been by my side for four years, and without undermining his intelligence, I doubted he’d ever figure out I was a vampire. There were few clues he could catch onto, and he’s seen me in the daylight, so he couldn’t actually blame it on the fact that I only took night shifts…if it came down to that and I didn’t know better, I could also say he was a vampire too since he only took night shifts as well.
I flinched when I felt warmth on my face, and I blinked my eyes open, staring into the blinding rays of the rising sun. Another day had come, a new beginning for humans, and the moment to retreat for the monsters. I wondered if Yunho was capable of walking in the sun without feeling fatigued or nauseous, I wondered if he fed on blood or food like humans, and I wondered…why he was back just now. Was it sheer coincidence we had run into each other once again? Or was it the bond that connected us, somehow always leading us to each other in the end? I sighed and grabbed my purse and keys, getting out of the car and shivering at the cool breeze of the morning. Summer was a few months away, half of my coven might leave for the time being and retreat to colder places, but I couldn’t. I had a job and a life outside of being a vampire, I knew Yeosang would ask questions if I just up and left. In fact, I was more than sure he’d try to follow me. We had gone to a team dinner a long time ago, and in his drunken stupor, he had confessed that he’d follow me to the ends of the Earth because he trusted my judgment and expertise. Perhaps it was that moment which made me adore the frail human, wanting to make sure he was safe from other creatures like myself.
I locked the car and headed for the front entrance, listening to the gravel crunch underneath my boots. I could use my vampire speed, but there was something in me that wanted to enjoy the mundane things today. It’s not like I could shut off my powers and heightened senses, but I had control over them, and it came in handy quite often. If not because I had to appear human around the humans, then for all the things that went down inside the mansion. Fifteen people weren’t little nor much, but they each had needs and cravings that I honestly found no joy in overhearing anymore. Over two hundred years of housing together did that to you. For once, the mansion was silent as I entered it, locking the door after me since I knew nobody would leave the house until twilight. The property we lived on was huge, the mansion was probably capable of housing up to thirty people. I had no idea how our leader had found it, nor how she managed to convince the realtor to let us have it, but it was luxurious and somehow comfy still, I liked it. It looked a lot like those Pinterest vision boards I did for myself about a hypothetical small apartment in the heart of the city. I could leave the mansion, and step out of the motherly arms of the coven, but it wasn’t that easy.
They depended on me and I needed them. All my life, the vampire one at least, they were the closest thing to a family, they were the only constant in my life. I grew and learned with them and from them, they forgave my mistakes and rarely punished me, but maybe that was because they didn’t know what I had done all those years ago, in 1822. Nobody knew about Yunho anymore, the feared vampire hunter had just disappeared one day and his own coven had gone to war with ours, only to massively lose against us. Our coven had been bigger back then, some perished and others decided it was time to move on, but those who had a deep sense of loyalty and craved to belong somewhere were still here. I headed for the marble stairs, the interior just a tad bit colder than outside, my footsteps loud as I followed the stairs to the third floor, where most of our rooms were. We had maids and a few butlers, but that was only because our leader preferred blood fresh from the source, and to be honest, we were too lazy to keep the whole mansion clean, so we needed a little bit of help. The closer I got to my room, the more my stomach twisted with nerves and uncertainty. I couldn’t keep Yunho a secret anymore, not when he was so close to us and a very potent threat. I could tell he still hated our kind, and I knew just because he was one of us now didn’t stop him from wanting to kill us. And because he was a cop now, he could easily get rid of the coven without anyone raising any suspicions. I wished this was only about our safety, but his existence could be my sister’s salvation.
Knowing that the wisest thing to do now was let our leader know about Jeong Yunho, I stopped in front of her door and took a deep breath, telling myself that facing punishment was good if it meant Yeri could see another break of dawn. I raised my hand and knocked against Joohyun’s door, three times in the pattern that told her I was calling for a meeting, then hurried to my room to get rid of my things. I had left my gown at the hospital, but as I walked inside my en-suite bathroom, the stench of the disinfectant was sickening, so I quickly splashed water over my face and scrubbed my hands until they were raw. I pulled my hair in a low ponytail and changed out of my tight black blouse in exchange for a comfortable sweater that felt like a shield around my body once Joohyun’s sharp eyes were to stare me down. I knew I had to do this, it was for my sister. So, I left my room and hurried towards the meeting room, one floor below, not bothering to knock since I knew everyone who needed to be inside was already there. The heavy door opened easily under my hands, giving way to the dimly lit room with a long table in the middle. The floors and walls were covered in pure marble, glimmering in the yellowy light as I eyed the vampires sitting scarcely around the table.
Sooyoung, who was our financial advisor, looked like she had just been awakened, and I knew I’d get an earful for not letting her have her beauty sleep. Seungwan, who looked bored as her sharp nails clicked against the wooden table was busy sketching in her notebook, her hair a mess, and I wondered when was the last time she had gone to sleep. She was a renowned artist, and speculations were going around the internet that she was the reincarnation of a princess living in the 17th hundreds, her current photos compared to the paintings made of the princess. It didn’t take two to guess whether she was a reincarnation or not, those inside the coven knew the truth. Then Seulgi, who was glaring at me annoyed, didn’t even bother sitting down, her arms crossed over her chest. I wondered if she had ever come across Jeong Yunho without knowing his identity, she was the head chief of the police. She was probably supposed to head in right now and I was keeping her back, maybe that’s why she was so annoyed. Lastly, our leader, Joohyun, sat at the head of the table, expression gentle as her arms rested on the massive chair’s armrest. She looked tiny in that big chair, but then again, she had always been tiny.
“Will you explain why you’ve evoked us here?” Seulgi snapped, her annoyance spilling into her tone as I gulped, advancing further inside the room. Behind Joohyun, a thinly veiled curtain served as a divider. What was beyond it would’ve made my heart race in nervousness, the lump in my throat choking if I allowed myself to miss my sister too much.
“Sit down, Seulgi,” Joohyun muttered, still only looking at me, “You will give me a headache if you keep pacing around, your job isn’t more important than a council meeting.”
That seemed to get Seulgi to tense up, but she couldn’t say anything against Joohyun, so she took her seat close to hers, crossing a leg over the other as well as her arms across her chest. I gulped and stood at the other end of the table, gaining Seungwan’s attention as well as she stopped doodling. Sooyoung was more awake now, easily able to notice my hesitance since she had always been a good observer.
“You did something, didn’t you?” Sooyoung asked, narrowing her eyes in disdain. Joohyun raised her hand to silence everyone, looking around the room before she leaned forward, her long black hair silky and straight as it fell to her hips.
“Let her speak,” She snapped, raising an eyebrow, “Why did you invoke the council, Y/N?”
It was now or never; I couldn’t back out anymore. I licked my lips and pictured myself speaking to my boss, who was an old man, borderline insane but still an exceptional doctor. If I imagined I was speaking to him, who rivalled Joohyun’s sharp features, the words came a bit easier to speak. I lowered my eyes to the table and decided to tell them where it all started, “After Yeri was killed, I was on a rampage to find the hunter who had done that to her. It took me three years, but I found him, he was a Jeong, from the Jung hunter coven, and he was their most prised soldier. His name is Jeong Yunho, and he…he’s still alive. After I found him, I planned on killing him, but he said things that angered me and I didn’t go through with it, I bit him a second time and…left.”
“You left?” It was Seungwan asking, her eyebrows furrowed, her tone alarmed.
“Is this why that fucking vampire-hunting coven attacked us?” Sooyoung snapped, her sharp eyes burning into the side of my head as she stood up revolted.
“Enough, let her continue!” Joohyun snapped, and everyone settled back down as I pursed my lips, reluctantly looking up at Joohyun. Her expression gave nothing away, but she had one hand fisted and it was enough to tell me I was in trouble, big time.
“Yes, I left him there, and yes, that’s why the coven attacked us,” I admitted shamefully, even after all the time that had passed, I haven’t stopped feeling guilty for the loss I caused, but it was only fair. He had taken Yeri from us, I took him from the Jung’s.
“I’m just impressed you managed to take Jeong down,” Seulgi muttered, ignoring Joohyun’s sharp glare for interrupting me, “But I suppose something happened, otherwise you wouldn’t have admitted to trying to kill him.”
And she was right, I nodded a bit embarrassed, “Yeah, he’s…alive. And a vampire, but not really, I—it’s difficult to explain. When I bit him a second time, I knew he’d become a vampire but I didn’t stay there until the transformation went fully through, I felt the bond between us spark to life and ran off. Humans were also coming inside the forest for some reason, I couldn’t let them see me. But he’s back, and he’s not fully a vampire. He came in tonight with a bullet shot, he’s a cop, and his heart is still beating. He bleeds like humans and he doesn’t heal as fast as vampires, but he’s inhumanely strong and fast, and his eyes…one is crimson and the other brown. But he’s still youthful, he looks the same as back then, and he hasn’t aged one bit. He is a vampire, but he’s somehow also a human, and I…I don’t know. I made a mistake, and I have to fix it before it gets bad.”
“Yeah, you better.” Sooyoung snapped, her face red from anger, “If I knew you’d be this daft, I would’ve never transformed you.”
“I didn’t ask to be transformed!” I snapped, turning sharply to glare at Sooyoung, who deflated in her seat and looked away, “None of us did, Sooyoung, Yunho is the only one I transformed besides Yeri.”
A deafening silence settled over the room, however, it didn’t last long as Seulgi was swiping on her phone rapidly, her eyebrows more and more furrowed as seconds passed by, “You don’t mean this Jeong Yunho, do you?”
I gulped as she turned her phone, showing me his profile, his information written in small letters right underneath his picture, “That’s him.”
“He’s in my division, way too small to come in contact with me.” Seulgi muttered, turning her phone to look at it as Joohyun motioned to be handed the phone too, “He’s been an officer for six years, always gets the most brutal crime scenes, and does some private investigation from time to time. He’s also great undercover and refuses to work with partners, he’s quite promising, I cannot lie. A few other officers have been fighting over him to get him in their team, but he refuses them and says he wants to stay in my division. Do you think he knows who I am?”
“I doubt it,” I shook my head, pulling out the chair to sit down, “Unless he’s kept in contact with the Jung’s, who know our faces.”
“He hasn’t,” Joohyun spoke up, still staring at the photo, “The coven would’ve long killed him, it’s impossible he’s still in contact with them. But if he’s operating on his own, he’s a greater danger than the coven itself, he’s a rogue and they are dangerous. It’s good you told us, Y/N, even if he’s the fruit of your mistake, getting rid of him now is better than never.”
“We can’t get rid of him.” I whispered, but they all heard me as my eyes went past Joohyun, falling on the divider, “Not yet.”
“Why?” Seungwan asked confused, looking towards the divider as well, her eyes solemn as she stared longingly at it. Yeri was beyond the veil, I hoped she could hear us, hear me that I hadn’t given up on her, not now and not ever. If this didn’t work, I’d find another way to bring her back from her eternal slumber. I was a doctor, medicine was evolving in ways one could only dream about back in our days, I’d find a miracle and make her live again if I had to.
“There’s an ancient tale,” I gulped nervously, Joohyun’s eyes narrowed as the other three girls watched me closely, “That says if a vampire is placed in eternal slumber, their essence isn’t lost yet. We can save Yeri if we find her hunter and feed her their blood…the hunter who had tried to kill her was Yunho, and he’s here.”
“But he’s a vampire,” Joohyun spoke, finality to her tone as if she thought I was insane for bringing this tale up, “And the hunter needs to be human in order to bring the fallen vampire back, the blood needs to be fresh and untainted, which you had made sure isn’t anymore.”
“He is human, Joohyun!” I exclaimed, feeling desperation crawl up my chest, “Half human, but it’s still there. He could be useful, we could try at least. The tale doesn’t say anything will happen to the vampire if the ritual fails, no?”
Joohyun pursed her lips, glancing at Seulgi who looked uncertain, “Giving away our location and identities is very risky, Y/N. Even if nothing happens to Yeri if the ritual fails, we will suffer. Sure, he isn’t in contact with his coven anymore, but if you say his strength can rival ours, he’s a threat. I cannot risk exposing my whole coven to something like that, it’s enough that he knows you still exist. He’s too close to us, get rid of him before I interfere.”
I opened my mouth, ready to plead, but surprisingly, Sooyoung beat me to it, “It’s about Yeri, don’t you miss her too? I want to hear her joyful laughter again and look into her soulful eyes, our coven has been so cold ever since she died…and if we have such a high chance of bringing her back, why should we waste it, Joohyun? We could kill Yunho anytime, I can do it if nobody else wants to, I’ve taken men down twice his size and strength, I’m not afraid.”
“This isn’t about who’s afraid and who’s got more ego, Sooyoung!” Joohyun snapped, slamming her palm on the table. Seungwan jumped and looked down, chewing on her bottom lip.
“Everyone wants something, Joohyun,” She spoke up quietly, playing with her fingers, “He must want something too, maybe he’s looking for someone, maybe he wants to kill someone, if we find out what he wants, we could blackmail him into helping us. Think about it…”
“She’s not wrong,” Seulgi muttered under her breath, swiping left a call that seemed important by her exasperated sigh. Silence settled over our group as everyone looked at Joohyun, awaiting her final decision. She didn’t look pleased or trusting of our ideas, but I knew she missed Yeri just as much as the rest of us. She was my sister, but she was everyone else’s sister too. She was young when I had turned her in order to save her from sickness, she never really had the chance to grow up and become a woman, she was everyone’s little sister.
“Seulgi, find out everything about Jeong Yunho and bring the information to me in two days,” Joohyun’s tone was final, her jaw clenched. I tried to keep the smile off my face, but I was beyond ecstatic. Finally, we had a real chance of awakening Yeri, “Make sure the others don’t know much about this, especially not that he’s from the Jung coven and Y/N—he’s your responsibility. Keep an eye on him, find out more about his peculiar condition, and bring him to me when I say so. Everyone is dismissed.”
We stood at once, but I didn’t leave the room like the others, my feet carried me towards the thin veil. I pulled the curtain to the side and proceeded further inside, eyes falling on the altar that allowed Yeri’s body to rest upon. Her body was placed on silky cushions, a thin blanket pulled over her body to keep her warm despite her not needing it. I took a deep breath and neared her, staring down at her frail skin, with no wrinkles or blemishes on her face as her eyes remained closed. Her chest fell and rose, a dark splinter still in her, close to her heart, from where Yunho had attacked her. Her wavy blonde hair was faded and her lips were a light pink, making her look closer to a corpse than a living being. She was sicklier than even a vampire. I gulped and gingerly traced my fingers over her eyes, wishing to see the flutter and open, their familiar crimson just a distant memory.
“We’ll meet soon, Yeri, I promise,” I whispered and leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead, hoping she could feel it and hear my words too. She was beautiful, her white dress spilling off the altar as I committed her serene face to memory once again, then turned, my mind set to find Jeong Yunho and make him pay one last time.
            In all my six years of working at the hospital, I hadn’t bothered taking any days off . There was no reason for me to go on a vacation, I had already seen most of the world. Besides, I didn’t tire like humans, so really, there was no need for me to take days off. Besides, I felt it was my duty to be at the disposal of those humans that needed me. So, when I called in and told my boss that I would like to take the night off since a family emergency had come up, he was rather surprised but mostly happy. He even added that I should take off another day or two and have a quick relaxing trip while I was at that. If I thought more of it, I might take him up on his offer, but not to go on a relaxing trip…but to bring back my fallen sister. Yeosang, however, was less enthusiastic about my sudden absence.
“Wait, what do you mean something came up?” I could hear the confusion through the phone as I walked down the dimly lit streets, water splashing against my boots since it had rained not long ago. I hated the muddy smell of the earth after the rain, and especially all the worms that sought refuge above ground.
“Well, exactly that, Yeosang.” I answered amused, glaring at a drunken couple that was ready to fuck by the wall of a building on a rather busy street, even at this ungodly hour, “One of my family member’s dog died and…I need to attend the funeral.”
I hoped I didn’t jinx it, Sooyoung would have my head if anything happened to her lovely Bishon Maltez, Haetnimie. Yeosang paused, releasing a long sigh, then hummed, probably feeling bored all alone in my office. It was past midnight, so he must’ve already had his meal for the night, “I’m sorry to hear that, my condolences.”
“Yup, I will let her know,” I muttered half-heartedly, eyebrows furrowing when my eyes zeroed in on the neon sign above the door Yunho was just about to enter. Two days ago, Seulgi placed a heavy folder in front of Joohyun with all the necessary information about Jeong Yunho, and now, I was tasked with following him and finding out more about his ‘mundane’ life since there were very few records about it. He was rather good at keeping low-key, it was annoying. Not even the trace of a money transfer, I wondered how he did it. Thankfully to Seulgi, we still managed to get a basic background check on him, hence I knew his location now. His apartment was in a rather high-end part of the city, which was surprising since I thought he’d want to stay away from humans. He often bought beer after being finished with his shift and conversed with the old lady at the laundry mat, who lived in the less fancy apartment complex next to his. He also liked petting stray kittens, even if they hissed at him at first. I thought animals sensed evil, but then again…Sooyoung did own a dog too, and she was an angel, liked everyone but Baekhyun who would bark back at her.
“Hey, I’ll talk to you later, Yeosang,” I said as the bouncer let Yunho inside the nightclub, spiking my curiosity. Was he really here to admire some pretty ladies? Is this how he fed? A bit perverted and sadistic, but I couldn’t judge him too hard, “Have an easy shift.”
“Thank you,” Yeosang muttered, and I figured he was pouting since our conversation was short cut, “Don’t stay up too late.”
“Old habits die hard.” I chuckled before hanging up, then cut the line and smiled at the bouncer charmingly. He eyed me up and down, not budging. Great, of course, he’d let Yunho in without a blink, but not a fine lady wanting to enjoy some other fine ladies.
“Are only men allowed inside?” I raised an eyebrow, rolling my shoulders back. I wasn’t too muscular or too small, but I looked far from threatening still. Unless I showed my fangs, of course, “Thought the pretty ladies were for everyone to enjoy.”
I flashed him a hefty bill from my pocket, and the bouncer coughed and looked towards the line, pursing his lips. He glanced at the bill before he nodded, knocking on the door. It opened swiftly and I flashed the bouncer a charming smile before I slipped inside, making sure the bill landed in his opened palm without anyone seeing. And just like that, my eardrums were overwhelmed with loud thudding music. I squeezed my eyes shut for a second, willing myself to acclimate to the sudden change. The blinding lights made my eyes water and my head ached from the much too loud noise, the sweaty bodies making my skin itchy, but I willed my mind to focus on finding Jeong Yunho again. I knew he was in here somewhere, but I needed to find him to observe him more, learn his patterns to know how to lure him into my trap. I had done it once, I could do it twice. I didn’t need Sooyoung to interfere like she so much wished to do, I was grateful Joohyun knew that and told her to prepare herself for the ritual, instead.
The club wasn’t exactly like I had expected it to be, the dance floor was filled to the brim with raunchy dressed people, drunk or high out of their minds. The pretty ladies performing were there too, trapped in glass cages, their makeup sparkly and their dresses skimpy as they danced provocatively, prompting even more lustful eyes to watch them. A few bills were caught in their bras or the string of their visible thongs, and men were desperately throwing even more at them. Turning my head away from the sight, I looked towards the bar, hoping to find Yunho there, but it was almost as if he had vanished. Finding a tall and hunky man like him shouldn’t have been so hard, not with his dark blue hair and the distinctive long leather coat he was wearing tonight. Not giving up just yet, I ventured further inside the club, scooping out the place, trying to locate the restrooms…maybe he had gone there. I felt someone slap my ass and my irritancy instantly flared as I whirled around, crimson eyes burning into hazed ones. The man wasn’t ugly, but he was too drunk to know where he was, and he had touched me without consent. He tried staggering towards me, but I stopped him before he could, hissing at him, my fangs showing. Even a drunk man knew to stay away, and after he raised his hands in surrender he stumbled away, already finding his next victim.
I scoffed under my breath and walked away from the overcrowded dance floor, eyes narrowing when I realised there was a narrow corridor right by the restrooms. And just like that, Yunho was back in my sight as he appeared out of nowhere, rounding the corner and hurrying down the hallway. I followed after him, hastening my pace to keep up with his long strides, and felt a little hesitant when I saw two big-looking bodyguards blocking the middle of the hallway. They didn’t stop Yunho, though, so I hoped they wouldn’t stop me either. I clenched my jaw and held my head high, making sure to not look them in the eyes as I neared them. If they were to stop me, I would just knock them out. I knew I was too close to Yunho, that he might’ve already noticed my presence, but there were no signs he had, so I continued with my pursuit once the bodyguards didn’t even as much as glanced down at me. The walls were blood red, and Yunho had long rounded the corner to the right, disappearing to somewhere else. The music from the rowdy club was just a dull sound now, and something lower and much slower flooded the corridor as I came closer and closer to the corner. Then, as if I had been teleported to another dimension, this room was bigger and less filled with people.
The lights were dim and burgundy, coating everything and everyone in a reddish haze. The people in here were also fancily dressed, sitting around huge tables, bottle girls in their laps or walking up to their tables with fresh champagne. The sight was jarring, but I played it off as I looked for Yunho again, who was at the bar now. He was leaning over it and speaking to the barman, who was smirking at him while checking Yunho out repeatedly. Yeah, anyone with a good pair of eyes would appreciate his looks, especially his innocent face when his eyes were filled with darkness and danger. I gulped and walked to the very end of the bar, where a man was already sitting and could cover me from Yunho’s eyes with his large body. I wasn’t here to get anything, but I suppose I would’ve looked suspicious, so I flagged down another barman and asked for a Hugo. The man I decided to sit next to glanced at me a few times from the corner of his eyes, but I kept looking straight ahead so he wouldn’t try and speak to me.
The Hugo was delicious as I sipped on it, turning around in my seat to further observe the room. The women dancing in here mostly lacked their bras, and a few guys who were placed in glass cages wore nothing but jockstraps. Yunho, who had migrated from the bar, was now speaking to someone sitting by a large table, surrounded by men in suits and women in tight body dresses. Yunho didn’t sit down, his eyebrows were furrowed as he stared down at the man smirking at him, pointing towards a young-looking guy in the glass cage. I looked at the boy and wondered how old he was, his ankles were wobbly as he danced in his heels, his chest red and eyes mostly cast down. I wondered if he needed a way out and if I could provide it to him. My thoughts, however, quickly returned to Yunho as his body tensed, eyes turning into slits as the man he was talking to laughed loudly. I took a sip of my drink and watched as Yunho’s hand balled up into a fist, his arms shaking. Would a massacre occur now? Or was he strong enough to withhold his anger? I watched with excitement licking up my stomach, suddenly realising that I was watching my creation.
And he was a fine piece at that, visually, it would be even more satisfying if he was a strong-willed vampire as well. My suspicions were confirmed when Yunho took a step back, nodding his head stiffly and stalking off. I finished my drink when I realised there were multiple corridors leading to who knows where, and Yunho was headed down a brighter one. The light was distracting as it flashed over my head, my footsteps louder than I would’ve liked them despite the music playing in the main room. Yunho was ahead one second, and then the next second my back was digging into the hard wall, my airways restricted as Yunho’s large hand wrapped around my neck, squeezing mercilessly.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” He hissed under his breath, jaw clenching even more. I could practically hear his teeth gritting together, it was a jarring sound. I couldn’t speak with how strongly he was squeezing my neck, so I opened my lips and grabbed his wrist, trying to make a sound to no avail. His grip loosened just enough to let me speak as he towered over me with his menacing height.
“What?” I chuckled, my throat a bit scrappy despite the drink I had just minutes ago, “Can’t a woman enjoy a place like this one? The girls are rather pretty—”
“Bullshit.” Yunho hissed, suddenly pulling himself away from me as he glared at me. I smiled, adjusting the collar of my black shirt, pretending that I was then dusting off the corset I decided to wear tonight. Yunho didn’t say anything else, but suddenly, he took off back towards the main room, me hotly following after him. Well, since I had been already discovered, there was no reason for me to pretend I wasn’t here. Maybe if I talked to him, I could get more information out of him.
“Where are you going?” I called after him as Yunho hurried back down the corridor, walking too fast but not that it looked unnatural to the human eye. He didn’t answer, obviously, so I just followed after him. I felt eyes on us as we stormed through the main room, and Yunho came to an abrupt halt when the man he had been speaking to suddenly raised an arm, his head tilted as he was looking me up and down curiously.
“Brought a snack for me?” My eyebrows furrowed as I turned to look at the man, ready to lash out or even bare my fangs at him, but I realised he was human. What an odd thing to say, then. Too focused on the man, I didn’t notice Yunho stepping closer to me, nor did I realise he grabbed me until he was squeezing my bicep so hard I almost whimpered. I know we were vampires and our pain tolerance was higher, but he could be a bit gentler with me.
“Found her for myself, actually.” Yunho’s tone had completely changed from how he had spoken to me. It was velvety, dripping with cynicism yet honey at the same time. One glance down at me and his eyes narrowed slightly, “Mind if I don’t share her with you tonight?”
What was going on? Who were these people and why was Yunho hounding me like his life depended on it? Taking a deep breath, I realised his cologne was oozing off of him, dark and somehow sweet, nauseating for my sensitive nostrils.
“You’re quite quick, Jeong.” The man huffed, clearly displeased by Yunho’s words, but he chuckled and flicked his hand, turning his attention away from us. I looked up at Yunho questioningly, but he started pulling me after himself, his jaw clenched tight still. I had to sprint to keep up with him, and my arm was turning white from how hard he was squeezing me. But he didn’t slow down until we left the weird room as he pushed me towards the corridor that led us here. I stumbled before catching my footing and whirled around annoyed, glaring up at him as he stormed up to my face.
“Stop pushing and pulling me around, fucker.” I hissed, craning my neck back to glare into his eyes. Yunho huffed, an unamused grin settling on his lips as he tilted his head.
“What are you doing here, Y/N?” He asked, tone gravely as I smiled, trying to tone down my sudden anger.
“Clubbing, what else am I supposed to do here?” I raised an eyebrow, but Yunho didn’t seem to buy my explanation. I wouldn’t stand around here and let him manhandle me more, so, I turned to leave but as I rounded the corner, I was being held back by my nape, Yunho’s hot breath hitting my ear from behind.
“I know you’re lying to me,” He hissed, his grip tightening around my nape when I tried to brush his touch off, “Why were you following me all night long?”
I chuckled, staring at the backs of the bodyguards who seemed like mannequins since they weren’t moving at all, “What are you doing in a dodgy place like this one? At first, I figured you were just a pervert coming here to feed, but clearly, I don’t know enough about you. You are my second creation, and you turn out to be pitiful—”
I gasped as my back collided with the wall loudly, a sharp ache shooting up my shoulder blade. I glared at Yunho, pushing at his chest when he came towards me, but he didn’t budge too much. I didn’t try too hard either, so maybe that’s why.
“Shut your mouth,” Yunho growled, his face contorted in pure anger. I laughed, letting my head fall back against the wall as I watched Yunho, “You don’t know nothing.”
“Yeah?” I hummed, chewing on my bottom lip as I let my eyes take him in again, “I pride myself on having a good eye for beauty, but really…that broody personality of yours ruins it all, Yunho. A master would usually want to be proud of their offspring, but you are making me question my judgment all those years ago. I should have let you die, shouldn’t I?”
That seemed to hit a nerve as Yunho huffed through his nose, his neck flushing red. I smirked, raising my eyebrows to provoke him even more, but he was still practising self-restraint, so it wasn’t fun anymore. Deciding that I wanted to know more about this place, I continued, “Why are you here, Yunho? And what’s this club?”
He seemed to consider his answer for a second as he glanced towards the motionless bodyguards, I wondered why they weren’t reacting to our little fight. Maybe they just didn’t care, maybe couples fought all the time in these narrow corridors.
“I’m undercover.” Yunho barely but whispered, knowing that I would hear him, “So get the fuck out before you ruin the whole operation!”
I pursed my lips, looking left and right, slowly nodding my head, “Right, you’re a cop. Interesting choice for a career, you miss hunting, don’t you? Makes sense, I suppose—”
I was cut off as noise filled the corridor, coming from the red-light room. It was two men, conversing with each other, saying something about Yunho and…me. Yunho’s jaw clenched as he heard them too, pressing his tongue to the inside of his cheek, shaking his head. He looked annoyed as he looked back at me. I blew his cover, the men were coming to get him. I suppose the man he had been talking to was the one he was after, and now I had probably ruined Yunho’s credibility to him. Not wanting to be captured for no reason, or for a bloodbath judging based on Yunho’s rapid heartbeat, I did what I thought was best for a distraction. Just as the two buff men rounded the corner, I slapped Yunho hard across the cheek, the sound echoing in the hallway. Even the two bodyguards glanced back before minding their own business again. Yunho’s eyes widened as he held his red cheek, slowly turning his head to look at me bewildered.
“I hate you!” I screamed shrilly and grabbed the collar of Yunho’s leather coat to yank him into myself, making him knock me back against into the wall since he lost his balance. His eyebrows furrowed for a second, but then I slammed my lips against his, our eyes stayed open as Yunho stiffened. The press of our lips was painful and Yunho had started pulling away, but my grip tightened on his leather coat as I pulled him even closer, my eyebrows furrowing as I subtly moved my eyes towards the frozen men sent to take care of us. It seemed like Yunho finally understood what I had in mind because his body relaxed a bit, large hands coming up to cup my cheeks strongly. His eyes slowly fluttered shut and so did mine as I pressed up on my tiptoes to kiss him better, letting him tilt my head back just a little bit. His lips were warm and slightly chapped, the opposite of my cold and smooth lips. The kiss was aggressive and lacked any warmth or pleasure as our lips smacked together painfully, but at least the two men sent to take care of us were slowly backing away.
My lips parted in a silent gasp when Yunho pressed me back up against the wall, licking into my mouth with little care as I grabbed the back of his head, fingers tangling into his smooth dyed hair. I yanked on the short strands as he sucked on my tongue, starting a burning fire in the pit of my stomach as I tried to keep the sounds threatening to leave my mouth down, eyebrows furrowing as a pleasurable feeling bloomed in my chest. I’ve kissed many before, but neither had felt so right and so fitting. Maybe it was because he was my creation, but the longer our mouths stayed glued together, the more clouded my mind became with his scent and beating warm heart. I could smell his blood pumping through his body, the veins on his hands bulging and a rich blue, his fingertips digging into my cheeks painfully. My fangs ached as he pressed his body against mine, keeping me caged between himself and the wall, my nerves on fire. If my heart would’ve been able to still beat, it would’ve been racing and flooding my cheeks with warmth, instead, it was my ears ringing and my stomach churning in unexpected want. Unable to hold back as Yunho’s tongue slid against mine, I grabbed his neck to keep him locked in place and swiftly sunk my fangs into his bottom lip. He let out a loud whine as fresh, rich-flavoured blood flooded my tastebuds, making my eyebrows furrow as I moaned.
The taste lingered on my tongue as Yunho pulled back with a loud gasp, his bottom lip slightly bloody as my jaw ached even more, my fangs yearning to sink into his smooth veins. I was breathing hard as Yunho kept me immobilised against the wall with his own body, his eyes shaking with anger. The men who had come to take care of Yunho had backed down, probably to report back to their boss.
“You’re human,” I whispered as I licked the remnant of Yunho’s blood off my lip, hands balling up into fists as I struggled to hold back from biting him again. He hadn’t been this sweet as a human when I had transformed him…or maybe I just hadn’t had blood from a living source in too long? That could affect how I reacted to fresh blood.
“I’m a monster.” Yunho looked disgusted as he forced the words out, his jaw clenched and face still close, “You did this to me.”
“Yeah, I did, but you’re not fully a vampire, are you?” I whispered, looking into his eyes once again, observing the crimson of one and the brownness of the other.
“It’s your fault.” Yunho hissed and I hummed, reaching forward to touch his chin, but he knocked my hand to the side with hatred written all over his face, “I will rip you to shreds if you cross my path ever again.”
I chuckled, “No, you won’t, because you can’t, Yunho.”
He licked his lips, tilting his head as he slowly leaned back close, lips ghosting over mine as I gulped, feeling something in me tremble at the proximity. I wanted his lips on mine again, my fangs in his skin and his blood on my tongue.
“If I can’t kill you, I’ll stake you like I staked Yeri.” My blood froze as I looked at Yunho with tense shoulders. His smile grew, looking smug and taunting, “Will you scream like she did? Beg for mercy and call for help? For your sisters like she had? Oh, what I would do just to see the light drain from your soulless eyes like hers had, slowly, teary, and shakingly, with your name dying on her lips.”
I prided myself on having great self-control, on knowing when to stay level-headed, and on not losing my head when provoked. But not even Yunho had expected the speed nor force I threw him against the wall with, both hands wrapped around his neck and squeezing until I could feel his muscles caving in underneath my skin. His eyes were bulging as he tried to claw at my hands, push me away and free himself, but my whole body was rooted in anger, wanting to take, to destroy, to avenge. I felt sick to my stomach as bile rose in my throat, my body shaking as Yunho tried to gasp for air, his eyes glossy, and I wanted to hear the snap of his bone, I wanted his head to roll to the side boneless, I needed his breath to freeze in his throat, his lungs never to function ever again. And I wanted to rip his still-beating heart out too, just for good measure. But wouldn’t that make me the monster he thought we were? The monster he had become? There was no light left in Yunho’s eyes, in his soul and heart, his body remained the same while he had lost his psyche. I felt tears stream down my cheeks, hot and burning, as I ripped myself away from Yunho, who started wheezing for air and fell to the floor in a ball, coughing and holding his neck. The bodyguards glanced back but didn’t do anything when I looked at them.
“If I can’t kill you, then Yeri will.” I gritted through my teeth, and with one last glance at him, I didn’t even care who saw me, I left the club in the blink of an eye, chest heaving as my head thumped, bile rising higher into my throat until I was forced to find a trashbin and double over it. Acid burned my throat as much as the tears in my eyes, but I willed myself to take a deep breath and relax my muscles. Yunho was still human, his blood and heart at least, so he would bring Yeri back. He would pay for what he did, and I’ll be there to watch his downfall.
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            We knew what—no, who—Yunho was after. The universe had mysterious ways of working. Perhaps it was his punishment for taking so many innocent lives, perhaps it was the curse I wished to put upon him when I found Yeri’s motionless body lying on the cold floor of Seungwan’s castle, right in the middle of a ball where she was supposed to find a suitor for herself. I sighed as my eyebrows furrowed, eyes staring down at the paperwork without seeing the words. The ER had been busy all night long, Yeosang and I had just caught a break, Kai and Jennie telling us they’d cover for us while we’d take a breather. I didn’t think I needed it until the brisk night air filled my lungs, Yeosang’s steady heartbeat a nice reminder that I was alive. He was silent until he excused himself to grab some much-needed coffee, asking if I’d like a cup too, much like always. The answer was always the same, no, thank you. Coffee was too bitter and didn’t help me stay alert, so I preferred not to drink it for appearance's sake. My phone pinged with a new message, and I was finally able to release a sigh of ease. Yunho was supposed to come in to check on his non-existent stitches, I had begged the head doctor all night long for him to appoint Yunho to me again, making up all sorts of far-fetched explanations.
“What’s got you thinking so deeply?” I flinched hearing Yeosang’s deep voice next to me, having failed to notice his approach. Yeah, I was too in my head if I couldn’t notice an approaching human.
“Life, I guess…” I muttered as I leaned over the railing, looking down at the ground. It wouldn’t be a high enough jump, not to me. Yeosang just hummed and mirrored me, taking slow sips of his warm coffee. It was very bitter based on its scent, I wondered how he could stomach it.
“Time flies by fast, doesn’t it?” Yeosang spoke quietly, his cup of coffee hanging over the railing, “One second you’re just a child, and then the next you’re supposed to make money and look out for yourself in a world that mostly isn’t fair.”
Humans had different issues than us, I glanced at Yeosang and saw his eyebrows furrowed deeply. I wondered if life hadn’t been kind to him. It wouldn’t be fair if anything happened to Yeosang, he was too good, too kind. I hummed, watching him take another sip of his coffee before he hung his head low.
“My best friend is sick,” He whispered, voice gravely, and something stiffened in my chest. Perhaps it would have been my heart breaking for him if it were still functioning, “Very sick. I’m a nurse, I know so much about medicine and how to help people, I know the best doctors and yet—I can’t do anything to help him. He’s going to die, Y/N, and I can’t stop it.”
I had never heard Yeosang so broken before, so small and helpless. My eyebrows furrowed and I sighed, figuring he looked like he needed a hug right now. So, I turned towards him and grabbed his bicep, making him look at me defeated. I offered him a small smile and pulled him towards me, confusion visible on his face as he let himself be manoeuvred around. My arms wrapped around him in a friendly hug, hoping it would be comforting too. He remained stiff for a few more seconds, but then his arms wrapped around my torso and he placed his chin on my shoulder, squeezing me for a second.
“Thank you.” Yeosang whispered with a smile in his voice, “I didn’t think I’d find a friend at my workplace, especially not a doctor, but you’ve treated me with respect since the beginning. Even when I still felt nauseous taking blood.”
We both chuckled at that as I remembered Yeosang’s rocky start at the hospital. He needed a good year until he got completely in shape and accustomed to the life he had chosen, and that was understandable. What he did wasn’t easy, yet he managed better than most people I knew. Before the hug could become uncomfortable, we pulled away and Yeosang took a sip of his coffee to hide his small smile. Turning humans into vampires wasn’t like what it used to be. Mistakes happened, of course, but my coven believed in giving a choice to the human that wished to turn into one of us. We didn’t just take it greedily, we asked and told them what this life came with. We didn’t just stop existing one day, even when the earth threatened to stop spinning, we’d be here, living and breathing. We weren’t invincible, no, but we were durable and stronger than those around us. Joohyun had always believed even vampires could be forgiven for their sins, and bringing another person into our coven without a deep reason meant expulsion from it. I gulped and took a second to reconsider my words, but I hated seeing Yeosang in pain.
“And if…there was a cure for your best friend, would you want him to have it?” Asking without explaining first was greedy, but maybe I didn’t want to lose Yeosang and his kindness in this unfair world. Surely if his best friend became a vampire he’d wish to follow, no? That was greedy of me and wishful thinking, but I had long stopped asking for forgiveness for my sins. If I truly wasn’t greedy, I would’ve never transformed Yeri, I would’ve let everything progress by its natural rhythm.
“There would be a price to pay, I suppose…” Yeosang was smart, he knew there were things he couldn’t explain, I smiled as I nodded, “Yes, I would want him to have it as long as he does too.”
I hummed, deciding that bringing this up to Joohyun once the whole Yeri thing was over would be worth it. Our coven was tight-knit and strong, filled with talented people, offering a home to Yeosang’s friend would be nothing. He’d learn from the best and become even better. Perhaps it would be Joohyun or Seulgi turning him, after all, it was inevitable for the offspring not to take attributes from its creator once the transformation was through, it was smartest if the bite came from the best of the best vampires.
“Well, then—” Before I could tell Yeosang that I might be able to help him, my phone beeped, signalling that Yeosang and I were needed down, “Jeong Yunho just came in, I’m needed, but you can stay and finish your coffee.”
Yeosang’s eyebrows furrowed as he grabbed my wrist before I could hurry away, “Is this that man? The cop who was shot at twice? The one who fell over and destroyed the whole room?”
There was a tinge of scepticism and amusement in Yeosang’s tone as I hummed, averting my eyes because I hated lying to him, “Yeah, so I better go before he falls over again.”
Yeosang snorted as he released my wrist, raising his eyebrows, “I won’t have to fix up that room again, right?”
“Nope, I promise.” I blinked at him innocently and he shook his head, leaning back against the railing as I headed for the door, “I’ll call you when I need you, don’t come down until then!”
Yeosang nodded and I turned to race back to the ER, using my vampire speed since nobody was around, besides, I knew nobody was interested enough to watch or rewatch the security cameras. I fixed the collar of my white gown and nodded at the receptionist, showing her a thumbs up when she pointed towards private room number three. The head doctor spotted me and gave me a curt nod before he was whisked away by a nurse, who rushed him down towards the cardiovascular section. The door to the room was already open and Yunho was sitting on the table, his hands intertwined and placed in his lap as he stared at the floor. I pulled the door closed behind me, shutting us in, silence enveloping around us. I knew he didn’t need to get checked, but it would be too suspicious if I came in and he left right away. Besides, this was my chance to get him. I had told Joohyun that Yunho was partly human, so his blood was useful to us. This was the best time to knock him out and kidnap him. He’d do the same if he was in our spot, I’m sure of it.
“Good evening, Mr Jeong,” I spoke up as Yunho raised his head, rolling his eyes.
“Whatever, why did I have to come to the ER again?” He sounded stoic and unimpressed, “You know I didn’t even get stitches.”
“Yes, I do, but the rest of the staff doesn’t.” I snapped, trying to keep my vexation at bay, but after our last encounter I couldn’t help but look at him with spite, bile rising in my throat as his words echoed in my head, he was insufferable, “So unless you want to be discovered, you sit on your ass and shut the fuck up.”
Yunho smirked as I walked closer to him, tilting his head, “Careful, your true colours are showing, Dr Bae, where’s the tempered and kindred-hearted Samaritan wannabe?”
I released a long huff, an unamused smile settling on my lips, “I suppose someone like you doesn’t deserve that treatment from me, so there’s no need to act differently around you. Besides, are you sure that it’s just an act? I’ve lived for over two hundred years, people change.”
“People, yes, not vampires.” His eyes narrowed as I came to stand in front of him, my hands in my pockets, fingers playing with the syringe hidden there.
“You’re wrong about that, Yunho, but you’re too rooted in your hatred to notice it.” Yunho’s rosy cheeks twitched, his eyebrows furrowing some more, “If you wouldn’t have been so blinded by your stupid coven’s preachings, you would have seen that the coven you’ve been hunting for centuries weren’t your enemy.”
“Yeah, right.” Yunho snapped, his jaw clenching, “Every bad thing that’s happened to me was because of you and your leader. I won’t let you walk away anymore, not now that I’ve found you again.”
I smiled, gripping the syringe as I could tell Yunho was getting more and more aggravated. His heart was picking up its rhythm and his eyes were slowly darkening, the crimson swirling deep in his pupil.
“Did you never try to find out more about the bond between the creator and its creation?” I quirked an eyebrow, and based on Yunho’s clenching jaw, it confirmed that he knew about it, but not enough, “You know…I made a mistake after I turned you into a vampire. I left you to fend for yourself, I left you alone and unprotected from the hunters. I can admit my mistake, sure, but I’m also conscious taming you might’ve never worked like with other hunters.”
Yunho released a long huff, sneering at me, “I would’ve ripped you to shreds.”
“Yes, I know.” I chuckled, tilting my head with mock concern, “I heard the carnage you caused once you awakened. As much as I find that hot and appalling at the same time, you ostracised yourself from every coven by doing that. That’s why you’re alone now.”
“No,” Yunho smirked, slowly standing up to tower over me. I gulped as I tilted my head back, unafraid, “I’m alone because I choose to be. I don’t need anyone telling me what to do or breathing down my neck like your stupid coven leader does. Even as a human and a vampire hunter, I never operated on my coven’s terms, that’s why I managed to kill so many vampires.”
I tried to smile, but my blood was boiling in anger as he leaned closer, licking his lips slowly as he took in my expression. Something made my fangs ache the longer we stared into each other’s eyes, my stomach coiling as his sweet blood called out to me.
“That’s why I still manage to kill so many vampires.” Yunho’s deep voice was nothing but a whisper, taunting and full of himself. My hands started trembling as I itched to bash his head in and scream at him, a sinking feeling settling in my gut this time, “Remember Seonghwa? Oh, poor little, gentle, Seonghwa…”
I couldn’t breathe, and my vision blurred as Yunho snorted, raising his hand to cup my cheek, fingers tracing my cold skin, “He begged, a lot, he even promised to stop drinking blood altogether. He almost had me convinced, I can’t lie, his eyes were just so innocent, and he was really loyal to you, did you know that? He actually loved you, fascinating, isn’t it?”
I wished for Yunho to drop dead, for the ground to open up and swallow him alive, for the earth to roll into his lungs and choke him to death. I bit my bottom lip to stop myself from whimpering when he grabbed the side of my neck, caressing my skin so lovingly that he could’ve fooled anyone. There were faint bruises around his neck, my fingerprints ebbed into his skin in an ugly black and green, perhaps he was too human for simple bruises to heal fast, “Would you like to join him?”
Hate was something I had grown familiar with a long time ago. It was an emotion that wrapped around my dead heart and cocooned it in a safety net, protecting it from the coldness of the world, the unfairness and tragedy that followed everywhere I went. In this second, I knew that it was no accident Seonghwa just perished one day, disappearing without a trace and a word. My bottom lip threatened to tremble as I gripped the syringe firmly in my hand, fingers wrapping around it tightly. Then, before Yunho could strike again, I moved swiftly and plunged it into his neck, injecting the sedative into his body. Yunho’s eyes widened as he wrapped his hand around my wrist, yanking the syringe out, but it was already too late. I knew he’d fall to the ground, so I grabbed his arms and pushed him down on the table as he gasped for air, his eyes becoming hazy as he tried to stand, but his muscles were too relaxed, his mind slowly slipping away from his grasp.
“I’ll see you in hell, Jeong Yunho.” I hissed before his eyes fluttered closed, his body going lax on the table. With shaky hands, I fished my phone out of my pocket and texted Joohyun that I had Yunho, and that they had to come to the hospital now. She replied that they were on their way, equipped to take Yunho back to the mansion. Without allowing myself to think about the fact that Yunho was the cause I lost two people I loved most—Yeri, my sister, and Seonghwa, my lover—I dialled Yeosang’s number while I walked to the door and locked it.
“Is the room still in one piece?” Yeosang asked jokingly and I tried to smile, but I felt hollow.
“The room, yes,” But I wasn’t anymore, before Yeosang could realise something was wrong, I continued, “Can you get me a gurney without anyone asking questions?”
“I—what?” Yeosang sounded confused and surprised, but he was up on his feet and moving based on the click of the door on the other side of the phone, “If the head doctor is busy, I might get away with it.”
“Good, I’m in room three, be swift, yeah?”
“Okay, I’ll be there in five.”
And just like that, Jeong Yunho would never see the daylight ever again.
            I was exhausted by the end of my shift. The sun was high up in the sky with a few clouds obscuring it as the morning traffic was rambunctious, with angry and impatient drivers honking every few minutes. The ride home felt like it would never end, the highway was blocked off at one point and I had to wait for twenty minutes until we could get going again. Yeosang, my light and saviour, had proposed staying on a call with me after he saw my state by the end of our shift. He rambled on about cooking a delicious breakfast before putting on his favourite show, rolling into bed, and falling asleep to it. He hadn’t asked questions when I had let him inside the small room with the gurney, eyes falling on Yunho, a flash of recognition crossing Yeosang’s features. I expected him to ask questions and demand answers I couldn’t give him, but he just chuckled and told me he was glad the room had stayed intact this time. He, once more, didn’t ask questions when Joohyun arrived with her two bodyguards, two buff men who were more than excited to haul Yunho on the gurney and out of the hospital, placing a white sheet over his body so nobody would grow suspicious.
“Come straight home once you’re done with your shift,” Joohyun had muttered, her eyes falling on Yeosang, who was busy sanitising the table Yunho had been laying on moments ago, “Make sure he doesn’t say a word.”
There was a threat in Joohyun’s words that didn’t sit well with me, so before she could leave, I grabbed her arm and glared at her, “Yeosang isn’t a threat, don’t make Mark follow him.”
Joohyun considered it for a second as her eyes fell on my co-worker again, a contemplating look crossing her features, “Yunho was your first mistake, so I’ll let you off the hook this time, but make sure it’s not repeated with this Yeosang guy.”
And I knew she meant it, I wouldn’t mess up anything with Yeosang. He didn’t know the truth, but he knew something wasn’t right. As long as he didn’t ask too many questions and didn’t try to find out for himself, I could help his best friend, and perhaps even offer him eternal life. But all these thoughts were pushed to the back of my mind as I pulled up to the mansion, the sunrays were just a bit hotter today as they rosied my cheeks. I could hear a commotion inside as I walked closer, the door opening before I could even grab the doorknob. Seulgi stood in the foyer with her arms crossed, expression displeased.
“Your little hunter killed a maid, screamed to be let out for hours on end, and finally stopped when Seungwan went inside to give him another sedative. He’s been silent since, but he’s tried to break free at least three times.” I sighed, closing my eyes as I leaned against the wall, my feet aching from having stood on them so much all night long, “Now, thanks to him, everyone in the mansion knows of our plan, and there have been upheavals. Joohyun’s been holding a meeting since five o’clock, welcome home, Y/N.”
My jaw clenched as my head pulsated, muscles begging for a long hot bath. I suppose I wouldn’t get that, not yet at least, “What do you want me to say? That I’m sorry?”
“No,” Seulgi scoffed, walking closer as she grabbed the tray of food off the table in the middle of the room, “He’s your creation, so go tame him. I don’t care what you do with him, but if he’s not well-behaved, I will kill him before we can awaken Yeri. This is your mess, so fix it.”
My jaw clenched as she pushed the tray of food against my abdomen, forcing me to take hold of it, “He’s been refusing to drink any blood, so go feed him. He can’t be malnourished when we need his blood.”
“Can’t I take a bath first?” I asked defeated as I let my bag fall to the ground, hopeful that our maid would notice it and take it up to my room for me. I don’t think I’d have the power to come downstairs once more today before I get to sleep. Seulgi’s face, however, was a clear answer that I wouldn’t get a breather before I’d have to face Yunho, so, I sighed and headed for the wide staircase, trying to steel my nerves and push through just for a little bit more. My phone dinged, and I grabbed it before I could head down the hallway to check Yeosang’s message. It was a selfie of him and his favourite plushie, a cute expression on his face as he winked at the camera. I chuckled and snapped a shot of the meal on the tray, telling him my breakfast was ready too…even if it was a lie. After covering for me today, I felt like he deserved to believe my being was normal, even if not true. Yeosang didn’t deserve to lay awake at night—or day, in our case—wondering why I was so strange and whether he was safe or not by my side.
I came to a stop in front of the room Yunho was held hostage in and looked down at my black heels, ankles a bit wobbly. I stepped out of the heels before pushing them to the side, instant relief flooding my calves and toes, a quiet groan leaving my lips. If Yunho’s hearing wasn’t already focused on every little sound, now he certainly was alerted of my presence outside his door. I didn’t knock even though it felt wrong, just unlocked the door and hurried inside to make sure he didn’t try to leave. I expected him to be all up in my face, expression maddened and chest heaving, his face red from anger and his muscles shaking from straining, but I was met with a Yunho sprawled out on the queen-sized bed, his feet dangling off the edge. The lock clicked into place behind me as I walked further inside, taking in the brightness of the room. The blackout curtains were completely undrawn, a harsh stream of light flooding the room. So, Yunho wasn’t as bothered by sunlight as the rest of us. I kept my eyes on his unmoving body as I proceeded further into the room, placing the tray on the desk. There was a bottle of water, half emptied, next to some painkillers that looked untouched. Right, I had used a higher dose of the sedative since I didn’t know how his body would take it, some side effects like a headache and nausea would be expected for a human…but Yunho wasn’t fully human, so we had no idea how his body would take it.
The silver tray clinked as it slipped from my hands slightly, fingers shaky from exhaustion as I took a deep breath, telling myself that I would be soon done here and in the safety of my room. The sound, however, elicited the skip of Yunho’s heartbeat as his head raised, eyes narrowed when he realised it was me in his room. Perhaps he was still under the influence of the sedative, that’s why he looked slightly dazed. He stood, slowly pushing himself up as I released the tray and set it aside, ready to leave, but suddenly he was all up in my personal space, crowding me against the side of the desk. I flinched, taken aback by his actions, and gripped the edge of the desk for stability. There was exhaustion in Yunho’s eyes as he stared down at me, then looked past me at the tray. There was no reason for me to feel nervous all of a sudden, especially not when my anger was far from being gone, but the sudden closeness allowed for me to inhale Yunho’s scent greedily, gums itchy as my fangs wanted to grow just a bit longer to sink into his warm skin.
“Is that for me?” Yunho’s voice was raspy as he nodded towards the food on the tray, and I glanced back to look at the copious food.
“Yes—” My answer was cut short when a hand wrapped around my neck, slamming me against the wall. I groaned in exasperation and grabbed Yunho’s wrist, my nails sinking into his skin as I scowled at him, annoyance flaring up my insides, “You have to stop throwing me around, it’s getting old, Yunho.”
He didn’t say anything as his fingers started squeezing harder, making it difficult for me to breathe. But I wouldn’t give in, not when we were so close to having Yeri back, so I kicked at his legs until he had to step back, his crimson eye gleaming under the natural light.
“You took me as your hostage,” Yunho spat, his heart slowly starting to race, “And you’re planning on using me to awaken your sister, wasn’t she dead?”
“I see they’ve explained everything to you.” I smirked and patted down the front of my blouse, an expression of satisfaction crossing my features as I raised an eyebrow at Yunho, “How does it feel to know you didn’t actually kill my sister? Even better…you are going to bring her back to life—”
But truly to Yunho, his anger got the better of him as he slammed me back into the wall, squeezing my cheeks together so it was difficult to speak. I must’ve looked silly with my lips jutting out, the pressure on my cheekbones wasn’t light, but I couldn’t help but feel satisfied by his reaction.
“She won’t come back, I’ll make sure of that.” Yunho hissed, his eyes searching my face, “You’ve led me to your lovely hideout, too, I’m going to hunt down every single one of you, Y/N. And I’ll leave you for last so that you can watch everyone perish right in front of your eyes.”
I slapped his hand away as I sneered at him, resisting the urge to punch him, “Your threats, too, are getting old, Yunho. If you think you can just waltz in here and take down a whole coven, you are wrong. Nothing is the same anymore, we’ve changed too. What makes you think you’d get away with it?”
“I’m part of the police.”
“And so are we.” A beat of silence passed as Yunho processed the information, eyebrows furrowing for a second in confusion, “Now eat your goddamn food and behave, Yunho, don’t make it harder than it has to be. You shouldn’t have killed that maid, she did nothing to wrong you.”
“A human willingly subjecting themselves to vampires are just as vile as the creatures we are, I should put each one of them out of their misery.” Yunho hissed, his jaw clenching as I huffed, pushing him back by his chest to free myself. I barely took a few steps, however, when Yunho’s iron grip around my bicep stopped me, “Take that disgusting thing away from me, I don’t eat human food.”
I paused, eyebrows furrowing. I thought Yunho was more human than a vampire, so how come he didn’t eat normal food? Maybe he was just trying to play with us. I took a deep breath and turned my head to look over my shoulder at him, “Don’t think you can toy with me, Yunho, the less difficult you are, the faster we’ll be done with everything.”
“I’m a goddamn vampire, how do you expect me to stomach regular food?!” Yunho snapped, his patience running thin once again as he whirled me around, dragging me back towards the desk. I stumbled over my feet due to the force but caught myself on the edge of the desk. I threw him a heated glare, narrowing my eyes at him in annoyance. Getting manhandled by him was turning old rather fast.
“You taste and smell human, your heart is still pumping blood, why do you think I assumed you ate food like any other human?” I scoffed, grabbing the tray to take it away with me. If he didn’t want to eat normal food, fine, I didn’t care. He could starve himself, at least he’d die faster once we were done with the ritual.
“Stop saying I’m human!” Yunho screamed, his voice wavering, “I’m a fucking monster, I’m just like you! That thing they gave me—my coven—that serum made me like this! I didn’t die nor become completely a vampire because I was already digesting vampire blood, to begin with, unbeknownst to me. My system was used to it and couldn’t break the particles down accordingly, I’m an abomination.”
So that’s why he was like this, then. I knew the hunters were taking something back then, something that enhanced their strength and speed, but I would’ve never thought they willingly drained the blood of vampires just to harvest it for terrible experiments. I sighed, looking down at the tray in my hands. I didn’t understand why Yunho hated being a vampire so much, after all those years, I assumed his prejudice would lessen, but no, he was still rooted in his hatred for us, indoctrinated to take us out no matter what…no matter if he was one of us, now.
“Can you…” I sounded tired as my jaw clenched, my exhaustion catching up with me all of a sudden, “Stop calling us monsters? Calling yourself an abomination? It’s not—we’re not the devils you were made to believe we are, Yunho, we were once, yes, I can’t deny that. But not anymore, we’ve evolved with the rest of the world, we’ve changed our ways, it’s…we don’t kill for the fun of it anymore, can’t you see that? Can’t you try and understand?”
Yunho shook his head, expression filled with disgust, “Maybe you think so, but I see it first hand, day after day what vampires are capable of, the many lives they still take, the families they rip apart for entertainment, the people they drive mad because they can—so don’t come here and try to lecture me about my beliefs when you don’t know shit!”
I jumped when Yunho’s curled fist came down on the tray I was holding, sending the contents to the ground as the porcelain shattered and the delicious-looking food splashed all over the floor. I stared at it, dumbfounded, until I felt something warm trickle down my palm, between my fingers. I hissed as I registered the sting of the cut left by the sharp edge of the tray, turning around my hand to bring it closer to my face. The wound wasn’t too big, located in the centre of my palm, but it oozed more blood than it was supposed to. Perhaps the cut went deeper than I expected, that would explain the dull sting of pain travelling through my nerves. Nothing a little sanitiser couldn’t help, though I doubt the wound would stay open until I reached my room to clean it up, it was already slowly closing up. There was a strained inhale, however, and I realised Yunho’s heart was racing as I slowly lifted my head. His face had paled and his lips were parted, saliva gathering in the corner of his mouth as he gulped down the excess, his eyes shaking. Yunho’s scent was suddenly overbearing as he stepped over the mess on the floor, his eyes fixed on the blood that had pooled in my palm. I felt something deep in my gut coil, my skin feeling peculiarly hot as Yunho gripped my hand harshly, raising it to his face.
I stopped breathing as I watched his eyes flutter closed, nose almost buried into my palm as he inhaled long, his lips parting even further as a small groan slipped through. My eyes widened, and before I could pull back and make sense of his sudden actions, fingers cradling through my hair at the back of my head immobilised me, the grip firm and strong as I felt cold and sharp teeth sink into my neck. I tried to recoil from Yunho’s fangs sinking deeper into my skin, but he was suddenly much stronger than ever before, flushing me against his body in an iron grip as his fangs hit my artery, making me groan in pain. I could feel every single muscle in my body tense up at the intrusion, my brain commanding me to fight back as bile raised in my throat, my fingers curling into Yunho’s form-fitting black blouse. It stung as he greedily gulped down my rich blood, the gurgling noises were loud as I was moved backwards until my back hit the wall. I was too exhausted to fight back with my whole being, but the more I tugged at Yunho’s hair in hopes he’d release me, the harder he sucked, moans slipping past his lips. I was getting lightheaded as my legs became sore, unable to feel my toes I gasped, something snapping deep in my gut.
A scorching hot flame travelled through my body, making me gasp loudly as my head fell back against the wall, lips parted in a whine as I leaned more towards Yunho, baring my neck for him so he’d have more access to it. The light-headedness turned into a daze one only experienced when drinking from their partner during sex, and suddenly I was aching all over, my fangs pushing past my bottom lip as my gums ached, “Yunho, wait, stop—”
But he didn’t listen as he slotted a thigh between my legs, pressing it against my suddenly aching core, and I moaned, relieved by the pressure, but it wasn’t good enough. If he continued drinking my blood, he’d leave me too drained. I couldn’t let him do that, but I couldn’t make him budge as he clung to me, whimpers slipping past his lips as if he hadn’t fed in over a month. I had never experienced anything like this with anyone before, drinking blood without having sex wasn’t pleasurable, it was painful and appalling, but right now all I could think about was Yunho’s strong thigh pressing against where I needed him most, my hips slowly starting to move as I ground against him. Yunho’s large hand curled around my jaw as I felt his fangs finally retract from my neck, the bite leaving a dull pulsating in my neck. I felt breathless, my body on fire as Yunho raised his head, both eyes bloodshot. I would’ve gasped at the sight if it wasn’t for the lips that pressed hungrily against mine, tasting my own blood on Yunho’s lips felt foreign but not as disgusting as one would expect.
There was something about his warmth and his racing heart that made my brain feel intoxicated, making me realise this wasn’t enough, that I needed more and that I needed it now. I groaned as our lips tried to find a rhythm, but Yunho wouldn’t surrender as he nipped at my bottom lip, trying to lick into my mouth as I resisted giving in fully to him. He was so warm it felt as if his body was burning up, much like the sun, melting away the coldness that clung to mine all the time. It felt like when I had awakened, aware of everything surrounding me and so overly sensitive. He gripped my hip with one hand as the other still cradled my jaw, and suddenly started guiding my hip in a dangerously slow rhythm, making me groan against his lips. I couldn’t fight back, though, it felt too good to ask him to stop, and yet it wasn’t enough, so I finally parted my lips and allowed him to explore my mouth with his eager tongue, suckling on my tongue like it would satiate his hunger. Yunho moaned as I felt his hand on my hip start to trace up my torso, gripping at my skin through my clothes, cupping my breast as he squeezed it, not stalling as it travelled up to rest at the base of my neck.
“Why is your blood so sweet?” Yunho rasped out as our mouths finally detached, my lungs felt on fire despite us not having kissed for too long. I needed a second to realise Yunho had asked me a question, mind fogged up with desire as I could finally grind against him however I wished. Yunho looked down between us and groaned, his grip tightening just a bit around my neck, “Answer me, Y/N.”
“I don’t know,” I whispered, eyebrows furrowing when Yunho grabbed me again, stilling my movements, “Fuck, I’m not lying, I genuinely don’t know. Your blood is sweet too, too sweet, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Anytime your scent hit me harder, all I could think about was sinking my teeth into your skin, your warm and rich blood, the aching of my fangs.”
“Yeah?” Yunho groaned, his eyebrows furrowed as he leaned closer, his lips ghosting over my neck and I shuddered, fingers tangling into his dark blue hair.
“Yeah.” I keened as he pressed a gentle kiss against my neck, tongue lapping at the teeth marks that hadn’t faded yet. Feeling his tongue against my skin made me tremble as my body felt ignited by sparks of desire, and I massaged Yunho’s scalp as he continued peppering kisses against my neck, sometimes nipping at the skin without biting into it.
“I could suck you dry,” Yunho mumbled, biting at my jaw just a bit harder, making me yelp. He raised his head so we were looking into each other’s eyes, both burning with want in them, “I could rip your heart out even, or I could tie you down and escape, kill your whole coven and come back to finish you off later.”
I chuckled, one hand sneaking down his torso, grabbing at the obvious bulge in his jeans. Yunho’s jaw suddenly clenched, his eyes shifting downwards before he looked back at me, “Really? Could you do that when your dick is straining like that against your pants?”
“Shut up.” Yunho hissed, disgust crossing his features before he slammed his lips against mine for a second time, making me laugh as I tried to dodge his insistent kiss. My amusement didn’t last for long, however, because I was suddenly hoisted up, legs around Yunho’s hips as I clung to his larger body, confusion written all over my face. Yunho didn’t look at me as he took us to the bed, sitting down with me in his lap as he leaned closer, burying his nose in my neck as he inhaled deeply, long fingers digging into my back as he felt me up. I closed my eyes and shifted forward just slightly, back arching when Yunho’s hands settled on my hip, realising I was seated right over his dick, his bulge pressing up into my clenching core. With an experimental roll, I tilted Yunho’s head back and leaned down, lips hovering above his as he breathed through his mouth, eyebrows furrowed and eyes ablaze as he stared up at me.
“I’m your creator, don’t think you can harm me as easily as you’d like.” Before he could say anything, our lips met again, moving hungrily as I pushed my tongue past his teeth, tasting him again with hunger, hips picking up a steady rhythm as Yunho’s hands helped for an easier glide. He tasted like mint and candy, not as sweet as his blood, but almost just as satiating. It was a constant push and pull between us, and I knew I didn’t want to be in his arms like this, but something just felt right about letting him kiss me, touch me, feel me up, and even feed from me. I suppressed a moan as he ground up just a bit harsher, his fingers to leave faint bruises if he squeezed any harder, mouth warm against mine. He tipped his head back as my hands cradled his cheeks, fingers buried in his warm skin as our tongues continued to tangle together. A particularly slower roll of my hips, however, had Yunho’s eyebrows furrowing as he turned his head, breathing loudly as his chest heaved. I smirked and kissed his cheek before dipping my head, exploring his soft skin and appetizing neck, his bulging veins practically begging for my fangs to sink into them.
“Is there—fuck,” I teased his skin by biting into it without leaving a trace, licking the faint teeth mark with my tongue before it could disappear, “There’s a deeper connection between us, isn’t it?”
I hummed, pulling back to look down at Yunho, my hips finding a slower rhythm just to antagonise him more, “Yeah, I made you, so in some ways we are connected. It manifests differently in each vampire, though.”
Yunho’s eyebrows furrowed and suddenly he stopped me, leaning forward so that his lips hovered over mine, “You think I can’t kill you?”
“I know you’d like to try,” I chuckled, pressing a mocking kiss against the corner of his mouth. Being with Yunho felt right, something about our bodies being so close to each other felt calming despite the hatred we carried for each other. I couldn’t trust him, but something told me he wouldn’t rip out my heart right now, “But when I turned you, I only wanted you to suffer and not actually lose your life. When one turns into a vampire, it takes attributes from their creator and the purpose they’ve been turned with matters for how they’ll look at their creator. I know you’ll eventually find a way to kill me, but until then, you’re physically unable to do so, Yunho.”
Yunho’s jaw clenched as he stopped my ministrations, hatred and disgust swirling in his irises. He didn’t say anything for a second, but the hand around my throat was a good warning that he thought about choking me again. At this point, he made me think he had a kink for seeing me fight for a single breath, and it wasn’t as hot as one would think. But behind all those strong emotions, there was fear hiding behind Yunho’s brown eye, his bottom lip quivering when he spoke.
“I hate what I am, and I will make sure all of us eventually die, I won’t let humanity become enslaved to vampires.” He whispered, gripping my neck just a bit tighter, “You can keep me here all you want, Y/N, I will never help you. Yeri will remain in her slumber because I refuse to give you my blood, and you can’t take it if I won’t let it.”
I smiled, patting Yunho’s cheek almost affectionately, “I can’t, but Sooyoung and anyone else can.”
I pressed a chaste kiss against his lips before detaching myself, oddly feeling cold and guilty. I didn’t want Yunho to hate me so ardently, but the feeling was mutual despite me having pushed it to the darkest corners of my mind. He had killed Seonghwa, the man I wished to live with for an eternity. There was no scenario in which I could forgive Yunho for his sins, and I trusted he’d be punished for everything he’s done one day. Yunho remained motionless as I stood, patting down my hair and readjusting my blouse, my swollen lips tingling as Yunho licked his. My desire wasn’t the most important thing, I wasn’t here to sleep with Yunho, no matter how much my body yearned for it.
“I will slaughter you if you touch me—”
“Everyone has a price, Yunho.”
“I don’t, Y/N.”
I chuckled, walking past the mess on the floor as I grabbed the key out of my pocket. Yunho could’ve taken it this whole time, yet he didn’t. He knew where it was, his eyes now fixed on it, but he made no moves to stand from the bed. His cheeks were flushed and his pouty lips even plumper, his blouse askew, and the bulge less visible in his jeans.
“Yes, you do, Yunho.” I twisted the lock and turned to give his defeated body one last look, “Song Mingi.”
And I left the room as Yunho gasped, springing up from the bed and banging on the door to be let out. Everyone had a price, even Jeong Yunho. A life for a life.
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            The full moon was high in the sky, its gentle light radiating through the open windows. The breeze was cool but nobody could feel it in the dimly lit room, red candles burning away as the strong scent of blue sage filled our nostrils. The vampires around me wore dark burgundy capes, the hoods draped over their eyes as their hands remained buried in their sleeves. My fingers gently traced Yeri’s soft hair, her skin pale and sickly as she remained unmoving. The conference room had been transformed for the ritual, Yeri’s body now aligned in the middle on an altar decorated with white flowers and a silky tablecloth. Her dress was pristine, the small gems embroidered into it sparkling if the light fell on it just right. My dark gown touched the floor as I remained standing next to Yeri’s body, murmuring reassuring things to her in hopes she could hear me. The low murmur of the other vampires suddenly stopped as the double doors opened, Mingyu and Chanyeol carrying a tied-down Yunho inside the room. The silver around his body dug into his skin, and judging by the prominent vein on his forehead and his straining jaw, it was more painful than he could handle. Our eyes met as he was dragged towards the altar, Mingyu muttering a low warning in his ear before Yunho could even think of escaping.
Joohyun, wearing her white dress followed inside, a flower crown prettily decorating her head. She looked innocent, dainty, like an unassuming maiden as she took slow but powerful steps towards the altar, a book in her hands. The long sleeves of her dress hid her hands, and I flinched when I felt a hand grab my shoulder. Sooyoung motioned to the side, gently pulling me away from my sister’s body as my gut coiled nervously, eyes falling on her before watching Yunho again, scared that he’d try to kill her once more. Flashes of Yeri’s bloodied body made me close my eyes, my hands shaky as Sooyoung offered her hand silently, a support she knew I needed right now. I released a shaky breath and watched as Joohyun went to the head of the altar, standing behind Yeri. She looked down at my sister and smiled softly as she traced her eyes for a second, then looked up with a hardened expression. Yunho was dragged next to her by the two bodyguards, trying to trash around in their grips, but the silver only made his skin burn more, so he succumbed to the pain and stopped moving around. His chest was heaving and everyone could hear his racing heart, our eyes found each other once again and I could see just how much he wished to kill every single one of us in the room. I don’t think I have ever felt someone’s hatred as intensely as Yunho’s right now. My jaw clenched as I looked away, focusing on Yeri instead as Joohyun opened her arms, her eyes fluttering closed.
“Everyone, please join hands.” Her soothing voice rang out in the quiet room as everyone followed Joohyun’s instructions. We all stepped closer to the altar, our hands joining together as Yunho looked around frantically, probably looking for a route to escape, “We are here, Yerim, we will set you free. Your suffering ends today.”
I gulped, feeling a tightness in my throat as I looked at my sister, everyone else’s head bowed down in respect to the coven leader. Joohyun met my eyes as she opened the book she had brought with her, an ancient artefact that carried all of our secrets. Perhaps Yunho knew that too because his eyes widened as they fell on it, trying to mutter something, but the rag tied around his mouth made it sound intangible. A slow hum left Joohyun’s throat as she grabbed the silver knife placed on the altar, the book placed by Yeri’s head was flipped open to a page I had never seen before. The gathered vampires followed Joohyun’s lead, and soon I found myself humming lowly in my throat, feeling like I was being electroshocked each time Joohyun’s intonation changed. She was humming a lullaby I hadn’t heard before, but the rest of us kept the initial hum going, concentrating on keeping it uniform. Joohyun raised her hand, muttering a quiet prayer before she cut her finger, drawing a bloody cross on Yeri’s forehead. Yunho’s face morphed into disgust as he tried to speak, yanking on his restraints to no avail as I watched him with furrowed eyebrows, coming to a sudden realisation. Joohyun would kill Yunho once the ritual was over, he wasn’t allowed to live another day.
That wasn’t the realisation, however, but the voice that whispered to me to save him, to take him away before the light faded from his eyes. It was always hard for the creator to watch its offspring perish, but there was something deeper about this that I couldn’t fully understand. Yunho’s eyes shook as we looked at each other again and his jaw clenched when he was hauled forward by Mingyu, Joohyun’s arms extended as she continued to mutter under her breath an incantation in an ancient language I’d never heard before. I didn’t want Yunho to die once Yeri awakened, I had promised a life for a life, and suddenly I realised the voice I heard in my head wasn’t mine, it was Yunho’s low timbre pleading with me to find a way out. He was looking for Song Mingi, whoever that was, he couldn’t die until he found him alive and breathing. My eyes widened as Joohyun raised the silver knife high, her eyes completely white as she hissed. I tried to move towards her, suddenly afraid she’d kill Yunho right now, but Sooyoung’s grip on my hand tightened, yanking me back to my spot. She shot me a warning look, enough to tell me that if I broke the circle, the ritual would not work out. So, with bile in my throat, I was forced to listen to Yunho’s racing heart as Joohyun cut a small gash on his neck, grabbing the back of his head and forcing it down.
His blood trickled slowly as he forced his eyes shut, arms trying to rip his silver chains apart, but I could smell his burnt skin mixing with his blood’s intoxicating scent. I could feel my fangs poking against my bottom lip, but this wasn’t the time or place to yearn for Yunho’s sweet blood. My eyes zeroed in on the first blood droplet as it splashed against Yeri’s closed mouth, then another, and another, until it was enough to trickle inside her mouth. Joohyun continued chanting, her voice rising in volume as did the hum of the vampires, and I realised I was doing it involuntarily as if I was entranced by our leader. Joohyun’s head snapped back with a sickening crack as her mouth opened, all sounds halting as Yunho was trembling, fear, anger, and disgust swirling in his irises as more blood trickled down his neck, wetting Yeri’s lips. Then, as the silence stretched on and Chanyeol had to catch Joohyun’s limp body when it fell backwards, there was a loud gasp as if someone had been suffocating but managed to break through the surface. The vampires froze as my eyes widened, watching as Yeri’s bloodshot eyes snapped open, disoriented and full of fear until they fell on the hovering hunter above her.
I felt my knees wobble as I watched my once again living little sister grab the back of Yunho’s head and yank him down, sinking her fangs into his neck. A pained sound left Yunho’s body as Mingyu stepped back, a satisfied smirk on his face as he let Yeri have her way with Yunho. The vampires looked astonished as our circle broke apart, some taking steps back while the others remained frozen. I could hear Seungwan crying behind me, her sobs loud as Seulgi hurried to Joohyun’s aid, snapping orders at Chanyeol as to what to do with her. Sooyoung remained on my side, her grip bruising on my bicep as we watched Yeri breathlessly, my eyes filled with burning tears as Yunho struggled to break free from my sister’s attack. She looked famished, her eyes were gleaming red and she was greedily gulping down Yunho’s blood, long nails piercing his skin as her eyes snapped around the room alarmed until they fell on me. Yunho had stopped trashing around, his breathing becoming shallow, and I realised that his heartbeat was alarmingly slowing down. Feeling an unexplainable pull, I jumped forward and pushed Yeri off him, her fangs dripping with his hot blood as Yunho slumped against the altar, struggling to breathe. Sooyoung was by my side, cradling Yeri to her chest as I rushed around the altar, holding Yunho up and yanking the rag off his mouth.
“Water.” He heaved out, struggling to breathe, “I can’t—breathe.”
I felt myself panic as I looked around, but nobody seemed to want to help the hunter. My jaw clenched as I heard my sister’s timid voice asking what had happened and why everything felt so weird, but upon my eyes meeting with Sooyoung’s, I understood that she’d take care of my sister while I tended to the hunter.
“Come on,” I whispered and hauled Yunho’s large form into my arms, his weight pressing but nothing I couldn’t handle. I felt judgmental stares follow after me, some murmured even, as I hurried back to the room Yunho was held inside, wondering if my heart would be racing in fright if it was still beating. Yunho was mumbling intangible things, but I didn’t focus on them as I barged inside the bedroom and hurriedly placed him on the bed, my skin burning when I touched the silver chains. They were enchanted so that Yunho couldn’t break them, but they came undone easily under my grip. His arms unravelled from around his body as he groaned, trying to turn onto his side as he squeezed his eyes shut. I hurried to the desk, grabbed the bottle of water he hadn’t touched since yesterday, and uncapped it as I held his head up, knees sinking into the soft mattress of the bed. When Yunho realised I was helping him drink, he gripped my hand greedily and downed the bottle, breathing hard as his head fell back to the mattress, eyes half opened as he tiredly looked at me.
I gulped and stood back, putting distance between us when I realised his heart had a steady rhythm once again, “You didn’t let her kill me.”
I huffed, an unimpressed smile pulling at my lips, “It’s not just you who can’t kill me, Yunho, I can’t kill you either…for now.”
“For now.” Yunho echoed, his voice gruff as he curled up in a ball, his teeth chattering, “I will escape—and there will be no trace left of the Bae Coven.”
And I knew he meant it, so I hummed and pulled a blanket over his shivering body, knowing that he needed the rest. I left the room with a sinking feeling in my stomach and locked the door twice, pocketing the key to make sure nobody would be able to enter it. I couldn’t risk them doing anything to Yunho. But until he recovered, my sister was the most important thing.
            The mansion felt more alive than ever before. It’s been barely three days since Yeri awakened, yet joy and laughter filled every hallway of the otherwise sombre house. It felt like a rock had been lifted off my chest, like I could breathe easier as I could finally smile and enjoy another sunrise. Yeri, despite her brightness, hid a darkness she thought we couldn’t see. She was trying to come to terms with the fact that she’d been dead for over two hundred years and that the world she once knew wasn’t the same. It was hard, I could see it in her forced smiles and her jumpy body whenever someone crept too close to her as if she was expecting to be staked again. I couldn’t understand her pain, but I could be there for her to help her out. My bed no longer was empty, she’d be waiting for me after my shifts, her pyjamas pink and her hair now short. She looked gorgeous as the sun beamed inside, surprisingly she craved the summer warmth more than any of us. I smiled as I entered my room, a phone she still struggled to understand in her hands, her eyebrows furrowed as she kept pressing the screen.
“What are you doing?” I asked with a chuckle, walking closer to my bed. Nobody had seen Yunho in the past three days, and nobody but me was allowed to enter his room. The coven was undecided about his fate, and it was all thanks to Seungwan’s kindred spirit and my insistence that keeping him alive would benefit us. The others didn’t have to know that somehow a selfish part of me had grown dependent on the vampire hunter, the thought of losing him now sounded terrible. He was a bad man worthy of punishment, but the song of his blood was stronger than all the bottled-up feelings I’d felt for him for so long.
“Seulgi downloaded some game for me, apparently,” Yeri answered as I kneeled on the bed next to her, my room now decorated in pink trinkets. Yeri’s always loved pink, she even wanted to dye her hair the colour once she found out it was now possible, “But this stupid thing won’t work!”
Her accent was heavy and of different times, it brought a sense of nostalgia over me as I grabbed her phone out of her hands and placed it aside. Yeri just pouted as she looked at me, her calmness managing to settle my nerves. Our bond was special, after I had turned her into a vampire, something connected us like nobody else. I could feel her emotions and she could tell where I was all the time, whether I was safe or in danger. Knowing that she finally wasn’t in distress managed to make me feel less bad about the fact that I couldn’t be by her side all the time due to my job.
“What did you do today?” I asked as I brushed a strand of short hair out of her eyes.
“Sooyoung showed me the—garage and we went for a ride?” Yeri’s lips pursed as she grabbed my hand to hold it, “But she said the horses and carriages were replaced a long time ago…I really wanted to go on horseback, though.”
I chuckled, taking in my sister’s less pale complex and her reddish irises. She wasn’t warm, but her voice filled my chest with adoration, “We’ll buy you some horses, I’ll talk to Joohyun.”
“Is it true you won’t let anyone see the hunter?” Yeri’s voice was just a whisper as I looked down, chewing the inside of my mouth.
“Yes, I have to sort out some issues first, I’m sorry.” Yeri just hummed, and then I felt her hand cupping my cheek.
“I’m not mad at you,” She was smiling softly, her eyes sad, “You can do whatever to him, he’s yours. If you wouldn’t have turned him, I would’ve never returned. Seungwan told me all the things you did for me, the research, the places you visited to find out more, thank you. I knew you were a great sister, yet you surprised me once again. I love you, Y/N.”
I leaned forward to hug her tightly, sniffing a bit as I felt the tears burn my eyes, “I love you too, Yeri, I’m glad you are back.”
“Me too,” Yeri giggled, but then her excitement died down, “This world is scary, though, I don’t think I like it here.”
“You’ll get used to it, a lot has changed and a lot has improved, living now is a bit more comfortable.” Yeri nodded as I slowly got off the bed, looking towards the bag I had discarded at the door.
“You’ll go see him, right?” She pointed towards my bag, “That’s why you brought home blood.”
I hummed as I grabbed the two blood bags out of my bag, gripping the doorknob, “I have to, if I didn’t hear his heartbeat, I’d think he was already dead.”
Yeri chuckled as she fell back into the pillows, clutching one to her chest, “Don’t take too long, I still have so many questions before you fall asleep.”
I laughed and nodded before closing the door, then headed for Yunho’s room which was one floor underneath us. I could feel my hands sweat for no reason, something in my gut twisting. I fidgeted with the key as I stopped in front of his door, debating whether I should knock first or not. Most of the coven was asleep now or out doing their daytime jobs, but a few remained in the mansion to hide out. I unlocked the door and slowly pushed it open, looking first at the bed, but Yunho wasn’t there. My eyebrows furrowed as I realised I could smell his scent inside the room, but it was faint. His heartbeat, however, was strong and telling me that he was inside the room. The door clicked shut behind me as I realised the window’s lock was broken, now wide open as the breeze billowed through the curtains. My eyebrows furrowed as I whirled around, looking for Yunho. Was he inside the bathroom? The water wasn’t running, but maybe he was in there. But if the window was open, why hadn’t he escaped yet? In my confusion, I failed to notice him creeping up on me, one large hand wrapping around my throat from behind. I froze, hands holding the blood bags tighter.
“You finally came,” Yunho muttered into my ear and goosebumps erupted on my skin, his lips warm as they brushed against the shell of my ear, “Thought you’d never visit your favourite vampire hunter.”
“You’re a bit bold, don’t you think?” I questioned, making Yunho chuckle, “Did you regain your power?”
“Mostly,” Yunho hummed walking us closer to the window, “But I’m famished.”
“That’s why I brought you blood.” I raised one blood bag, but Yunho tsked, “What? Is it not good enough for you?”
“I have my ways of hunting, and right now…” My jaw clenched as he lightly nipped at my jaw, “I’m craving something fresh, something warm, young, and something that’s inside this mansion.”
My eyebrows furrowed as Yunho’s hand tightened around my neck, the two of us standing in front of the window. He chuckled, and before I could ask what he meant, he kissed the corner of my mouth tauntingly before his lips brushed against my ear once again, “You didn’t lock the door.”
The glass cracked as my head collided with it, making me let out a pained yelp as I fell against the windows, blood bags falling from my hands. My head thumped painfully as I hissed, trying to regain my bearings as my vision swam for a second, turning around to face Yunho…except that he wasn’t inside the room anymore, the door wide open. My eyes widened as I felt a chill run down my spine, with feet tangling together, I dashed towards the door, mind whirling where he could’ve gone. And then, the thought struck me like lightning, and I screamed Yeri’s name as I dashed up towards our shared room, my hands shaking as I barged inside. The window was still open, a pink shawl on the floor as she lay on it, her eyes closed and—I stopped breathing as I kneeled next to her, unable to tell if she was dead or not. But gripping her cheeks painfully, she stirred and blinked her eyes open, confused and alarmed.
“Y/N?”
“Lock the door and the windows, do not go out until I say so,” I commanded as I rose to my feet, body now shaking from anger as I realised Yunho had tricked me on purpose so he could flee. I slammed the door behind myself and fled the mansion as well, sweating under the scorching hot sun as I turned around in one spot, trying to clear my mind to find Yunho. He was close, without drinking blood, he wasn’t as fast as usual, and the sun would also hurt him now, so I wondered where he was hiding. Taking a car would’ve been too obvious and loud, so that means…my eyes fell on the forest, and before I could blink my feet were already moving towards it, branches snapping under my weight as I ran fast, trying to track his scent down. The sounds of the forest felt disorienting with all the flowery scents making me feel nauseous, the birds chirping over my head feeling as if they were taunting me since I couldn’t hear Yunho’s heart anymore. I stopped to catch my breath and closed my eyes, hearing the creak not far from here. Would he go there to try and refresh himself before he continued trekking back to the city? And just like that, faint sweetness made my throat go dry. He was here, close by, and I would catch him.
I took off running again, pushing myself just a bit further despite the strong sun making my muscles ache, and I almost missed him as I wheezed past a deer. He was using it to mask himself, I smirked as I stopped behind a tree, watching the two move as one. The deer seemed almost unaware of Yunho’s presence right next to it, but Yunho’s narrowed eyes told me that he was trying to find me as he felt the place out. Without giving him the chance to find me, I pounced towards him, scaring the deer off as Yunho hissed when my body collided with his, pushing him down to the ground. The scenery felt eerily similar, except that it was daytime now and Yunho was as much of a vampire as me. The last I got to straddle him in a forest was the night I turned him into one of us after having played around with him for a bit. Yunho’s chest fell and rose rapidly, his eyes burning as he gripped my hips and tried to flip us over, but my thighs squeezed his torso firmly.
“Did you think you could outrun me?” I chuckled, raising my eyebrows at him, “You haven’t had any blood in three days after you were nearly drained, I thought you were smarter than that, Yunho.”
“How’s your sister doing, by the way?” The question paired with his insufferable smirk felt like a punch to my gut, and before I could stop myself, I landed a harsh slap across his cheek. Yunho’s head whipped to the side, but instead of the anger I was expecting, he started laughing, his shoulders shaking as he suddenly went lax underneath me. I glared at him as I gripped his jaw and forced him to face me, his cheeks and neck were red, his pointy lips chapped, and his dark blue hair messy.
“You’re fucking lucky I created you, Yunho.” I hissed, grip tightening on his jaw. He hummed, staring up at the clear sky.
“I almost thought you had forgotten about me,” It seemed like he wasn’t done taunting me as he pushed his lips out, looking up at me with his big eyes, “Shouldn’t you look out for me? See? You abandoned me again, and then you’re surprised I can’t trust you…”
“Quit the bullshit, Yunho.” I snapped, fed up with his attitude as he laughed, one hand sneaking to my lower back as I tensed, “You can’t leave until the coven hasn’t decided your fate. Joohyun won’t let you leave now, most likely, and it’s your fault.”
“Everything is always my fault,” Yunho groaned as he rolled his eyes, his other hand sneaking up on my thigh. My eyebrows furrowed as I looked down at his hand, feeling that warm flicker deep in my stomach. It was back, that feeling of belonging and lust as I stared at Yunho, confused by his words and actions, “If you would have just killed me, I would be out of your hair right now. Admit it, Y/N, you wanted someone to play with and that’s why you walked away in the end.”
“I did not want anything to do with the man that tried to kill my sister—” My words died in my throat when I was suddenly flipped over, my back hitting the cold ground. I froze as Yunho now kneeled between my legs, his hands trailing up my thighs as I frowned at him. This wasn’t like the Yunho I knew, he’d be threatening me and trying to kill me by now. What was his plan?
“And yet here you are, with him between your legs and his fangs sunken deep into your neck.” He smirked as he lowered himself, biting my jaw mockingly as I tried to slap his head away, but his fingers intertwined with mine, hands immobilised on both sides of my head.
“Yunho—” My warning fell on deaf ears as his teeth sunk into my neck, a moan falling past my lips as the initial pain didn’t even come this time, just soaring hotness that travelled through every limb, alighting the dormant fire underneath my skin. My head fell back as my fingers tightened against Yunho’s, his heavier body pressing mine firmly down into the ground. He grunted as he took more blood, his hips grinding down almost teasingly as my eyebrows furrowed, stomach clenching in yearning, “I thought you didn’t feed from living people.”
Yunho chuckled as he pulled back, licking my neck and kissing up to my ear, where he nibbled on my lobe, “You are not alive, though, and I think I found a new way to feed. Aren’t you just so pliant, Y/N?”
My jaw clenched and I turned my head swiftly, aiming to headbutt him, but he was faster. Yunho laughed, thrusting once as my thighs tightened around his hips, my eyes bleeding into his with anger, “You don’t seem to hate it as much as you make it seem.”
“Get off, Yunho!” I snapped, ripping my hands out of his as he slightly leaned back, tilting his head in amusement, “What’s gotten into you all of a sudden?”
He grinned and braced his weight on his hands, but he didn’t sit back. I glared at him, but he didn’t seem to care as he pretended to think, “You said I have a price, and you’re right. Your little sister is well and alive once again, how about we make a little deal?”
That sounded horrible, “What deal?”
He leaned down to press a chaste kiss to my lips, and I should’ve been embarrassed that I chased after his lips when he pulled back. Yunho was amused by it, one hand coming to cradle my cheek as he hummed, “I saved your little sister, you help me find someone…”
“You saved her?” My laugh was humourless, “After you killed her, right…”
“Song Mingi.” Yunho snapped suddenly, his features darkening. So, he was done playing around, huh?
“What about him?”
“You said I have a price, and that it comes with him, well you were right. That Seungwan girl…she seems to know him.” Right, Seungwan could find anyone in a matter of hours, “Yeri is alive, so help me find him.”
“Why?” I raised an eyebrow, tilting my head, “Who’s he to you?”
Yunho looked reluctant to speak, but he gave in when I raised both eyebrows, “Someone whose life I ruined a long time ago. I was foolish and I went back to my coven thinking they’d help me, instead, they locked me up and started experimenting with my blood when they realised I was half human. Mingi…he’s a victim of that experiment, he’s…he’s like me just more…violent.”
Understanding washed over me as Yunho’s eyes lowered, “You created him, didn’t you?”
He looked at me without answering, and I just knew, “You love him.”
Yunho’s jaw clenched and I scoffed, something like regret, anger, and disgust swirling in my stomach, “You want me to find your lover for you after you killed mine?”
“You can do whatever you want with me once I know Mingi is well and alive, just help me out this once.” He didn’t look into my eyes, but he looked so small as he lowered his head. I scoffed, wanting to refuse him, to rip his head off, but I couldn’t. The pain, the uncertainty and the yearning of not knowing what happened to your lover hit me like a truck, and I felt pity for Yunho because I knew what that felt like.
“Once you find Mingi, you’ll never cross my path, do you understand?” My eyes were hard and my voice cold as he looked at me, face impassive, “And if I see either one of you, I won’t hesitate to kill you.”
“Deal.” Yunho didn’t even miss a beat as he sat back, extending one hand.
“Make it a blood promise,” I smirked as Yunho’s jaw clenched, but he bit into his palm and so did I, our blood smearing together once we shook hands.
“I’ll leave your coven alone, then, but if I see you or Yeri, you’ll be dead.” I chuckled and nodded, sitting up as Yunho got off me, surprisingly even helping me up. He remained gripping my arm as he pulled me close into himself, his eyes soft for the first time I’ve known him.
“Thank you.” He whispered, his eyes fluttering closed as he leaned down, our lips meeting in a soft kiss. I gripped his nape and pushed up on my tiptoes, our lips locking together as Yunho hummed, pressing more kisses against my lips as we pulled apart.
“Thank you too, although I’ll never forgive you.” Yunho smiled, stepping back.
“That’s alright, I’ll never forgive you either.” I nodded, watching him step into the sun, making me wonder how one man could be as beautiful as Yunho. Before he departed, however, he seemed to linger for a second, his eyebrows furrowed.
“There was a belief in my coven…that a soul that is suddenly ripped away from this realm will wander back to claim what’s theirs.” I didn’t understand what he meant by that, but before I could question it, he continued, “How long has it been since I killed Seonghwa?”
I froze, breath stuttering in my throat, “Are you saying—”
“He’s around, you just have to find him.” A small smile settled over Yunho’s lips as I felt tears brimming my eyes, hands shaking. He turned his back to me with a chuckle, waving his fingers as he took off, walking further into the trees.
“I’ll stop by to get my refill later this week!” Yunho’s voice called as I listened to his even heartbeat, feeling weak all of a sudden as I had to lean against a tree for support. I had Yeri back, and now all I had to do was find Seonghwa once again. A shuddered breath left my lips as I smiled, flipping Yunho off before I started walking back to the mansion, keeping to the shade since I was already feeling lightheaded.
Maybe keeping him alive was the best decision I could’ve made, after all.
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sarahsmi13s · 12 days ago
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Fever Dream
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pairing: evan buckley x nash!reader
characters: evan 'buck' buckley, nash!reader, bobby nash, athena grant
warnings: CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR 8.15, mentions of religion, blood, panic attack, nightmare, major character death, xreader (this is how i'm coping okay?), i'm delulu and gonna feed my fellow fandom siblings delusions, if i missed any please let me know!
word count: ~2.1k
a/n: as mentioned in the warnings, this contains spoilers for episode 15 so please if you don't want spoilers don't read. i wrote this simply because is how i'm choosing to cope until the next episode airs. i hope everyone out there is doing okay (in a general sense, i know so many of us are fucking mad). i hope this can help feed delusions or just maybe bring comfort.
summary: being separated from your team, your family, is hard enough... add in a deadly super virus and cctv cameras to give you a perfect view of them, and it's going to haunt you in ways you may never expect
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Your fingers dug into Buck’s turn out. Your shaking and gasping cries merged with his screams, desperate prayers vibrating against his arm.
His throat hurt. It was raw and felt like it was bleeding, a metallic taste building up on his tongue. But he couldn’t bring himself to care. 
This couldn’t be it. This can’t be happening. Bobby’s not supposed to die.
No! No… Bobby was fine. He had been right behind Buck as they were leaving. He made it out. 
He was walking and talking, barking out orders like it was breathing.
Bobby was breathing.
Now…  Now he was what?
Now he was pacing around a room, alone. Professing his love to Athena and pleading with her to believe he didn’t want this. He was using every ounce of his strength to fight away any doubt in her heart. He was apologizing. Buck could still hear how he apologized to you as you were drug away from your attempts to pry the door open. 
Now he was crawling on the floor, his organs beginning to fail as he coughed up blood – red splatters decorating the ash covered floor. He was sweating, body feverish as his immune system kept trying to save him.
But nothing can save him…
Now he’s dying. Praying on his knees until blood filled his mouth like a fatal elixir, a final communion. Blood was coating his tongue and teeth, staining his lips crimson as his head fell to the table and his chest slowed to a stop.
Now he was in a body bag… and Buck-
– jolted awake, a raw cry straining his vocal cords as he gripped the duvet in his lap.
“Buck? Buck! Evan!” He knew that voice – that soft, gentle voice. “Hey, hey, baby it’s okay. It’s okay. I’m here. You’re safe.”
Gentle and warm hands cradled his face, tilting it up as thumbs wiped the tears away. He can barely make out anything through the tears and the panic scrambling his brain.
But those eyes… He knows those eyes. They’re safe. They’re home.
They’re you.
His entire body was shaking. Sweat dripped down his back, leaving goosebumps as the AC cooled his hot skin. Tears shone on his face in the dim lamplight, more spilling over his lash line to pool on your thumbs. His chest ached, it felt like he was trying suck in air from an empty oxygen tank.
“Breathe, Ev’. Breathe for me.”
He hit his chest to communicate that he was trying. Each gulp of air wheezed into his windpipe, barely giving him enough to speak. “I-I can’t…”
You nodded, moving his arms around you and pressing his hands flat against your back. “You can. You just gotta follow me, baby.”
He tried, he really tried. But his chest felt too tight, air snagged in his throat, scraping along what felt like open wounds lining his esophagus. All before getting forced out in broken, strangled sobs.
You only smiled softly at him, the expression warm and encouraging. Your thumbs brushed his cheeks gently, being careful not to rub his cheeks raw as your exhales cooled them. His hands were desperate and hard on your back, gripping at your sleep shirt as he tried to follow your breathing.
Neither of you knew how long it took before his chest expanded fully again. A full breath of air, accented by the scent of your shampoo, filled his lungs. He swallowed, nodding against you as he began to calm down.
You tilted your head, the movement small as you pushed his curl back from his damp forehead. There was no doubt this panic attack was the result of a nightmare. They weren’t uncommon in this line of work, but only a few brought on panic attacks.
Your hand rested at the back of his head, the other gently resting on the side of his neck. “What happened, Buck? What did you see?”
The question made his throat cinch up again, fresh waves of tears falling down his cheeks. He opened his mouth and the words tumbled out in broken, sob-ridden babbles.
You gently shushed him after a few moments, soothing the ache with the tender caress of your hands carding through his hair. His tears are hot against your skin as you tilted his chin up with your thumb. “Sweetheart, I need you to slow down.”
You weren’t upset with him, or frustrated in the slightest. If anything… you were scared and just wanted to help.
Buck swallowed, squeezing his eyes shut in an attempt to control himself. You pressed your lips to his head and gently rocked you both. It was a little awkward in this position, but all you cared about was making sure he was okay.
You pulled back to look at him, your hand moving back to his cheek to brush away the tears.
His eyes remained downcast, staring at where your knees pressed into his thighs. He gripped your shirt again as a soft cry fell from his lips.
“The lab…”
He felt you tense at the words. Your hands paused in their movements just long enough for him to catch it before you went right back to soothing him. 
A pang of guilt hit deep in his heart. 
“We-we had just got Hen and Chimney out, and everything was fine. But as I turned to Cap… he-” Buck bit his quivering lip, his eyes remaining fixated on your point of contact, not wanting to see the heartbreak in your eyes as he told you again what had happened in the damned lab. He hated to make you relive it, relive probably the worst day of your life. He wanted to take it back, take all of it back… but he kept going, knowing you wouldn’t just let him go back to sleep.
“He locked himself in… the hose line to his tank was torn in the explosion, he had been sick the whole time and no one knew. He sacrificed himself for Chimney… he’s gone.”
His voice cracked, sobs sending his trembling frame into your lap. Apologies tumbled past his lips and rumbled against your sternum. 
Your heart broke, frame rattling with the devastating cries of your boyfriend. You planted kisses on his head and rubbed his back. “Oh Evan, honey… it’s okay.”
“No, it’s not! He’s gone!” He pulled back swiftly, nearly headbutting you in the process. “Nothing is okay! How will it ever be okay?”
You held his face, fingers gently curling around his jaw to get him to look at you. “Baby, that was just a nightmare. He’s okay. He’s with Athena at their temporary apartment.”
Buck’s eyes met yours, his crystal blue eyes surrounded by red as his brow furrowed in confusion. “W-what? That-that’s impossible there was only one cure and we used that on Chimney. Bobby couldn’t have…” He trailed off, his voice giving way as he looked at you with pure desperation to understand.
Your thumbs rubbed under his eyes, tracing comforting crescents there. You couldn’t help the tears that stung your own eyes or how your lip quivered as you shook your head. “Baby, dad’s line was never compromised. His equipment was intact. He’s okay, I promise you.”
“But-”
You shushed him gently, adjusting how you were sitting to hold him. “I know… I know it felt real. Dreams like that always do. And it’s wild how, despite knowing the truth, your brain can twist reality so intricately that you wake up wondering which is which. Scared that the good life was the dream and the nightmare is your life…”
Buck sniffled, a small sound escaping his lips. His head was throbbing, pulsing alongside his heart as it crossed wires and memories. He was half-awake trying to make it all make sense.
“C’mon,” you said softly, sniffling as you kissed his damp forehead. You slipped out of the bed, grabbing Buck’s zip-up hoodie before pulling him to his feet. “Put this on and find your shoes.”
“Honey-”
“We’re going over there, right now.” 
Your words held a sense of authority, leaving no room for argument or questioning. Not that Buck needed to question you, he trusted you more than he trusted anyone.
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The drive across town was a blur. Street lights and business signs merged together, nothing but bright neon streaks that went by too fast for anyone to process properly. 
Buck was fighting to stay awake, to pull himself out of his dream fog and focus. He felt stuck, constantly trying to decipher dream from reality.
A gentle squeeze to his hand felt like he was sucked back into his body. Everything around him clears, all becoming separate entities rather than a multi-colored blob. He could hear the low hum of the radio, the ambient sounds filling the space of the car in substitute of his voice.
Your lips brushed his knuckles as you reached across your body to put the car in park. “We’re here.” You could feel his hand trembling in yours just before you let go to exit the car.
He quickly got out after you, rounding the car and reaching for your hand again.
He needed it. He needed to be grounded. 
You both walked in, nodding to the doorman as you walked right past him to the elevator. 
After you got in and pressed the button you turned to Buck. He was bouncing on his toes, his unoccupied hand restless at his side.
“Baby, c’mere,” you said softly, tugging on his hand before wrapping your arms around him in a proper hug.
He immediately returned it, his arms pinning you to his chest desperately.
His voice was raspy as he spoke. “I’m so scared…” 
“I know, Ev’... I know. But I promise, he’s okay. You’ll see for yourself soon, I swear it.” 
The elevator slowed to a stop and you pulled apart as the doors opened. You took his hand again, gripping it tightly as you walked down the hall to your parents door.
Your knuckles rapped on the door in a rhythm that would signal to whoever was awake that it was you. Buck brought the concept up to Bobby back when you both began dating. It was just a silly little thing you did as a family, nothing serious.
But the sound of it made Buck’s stomach sink with anxiety.
What if Bobby would never hear that again? What if Buck would never hear Bobby knock like that again?
What if-
“Y/n? Buck?”
You smiled at Athena softly, a hint of an apology in it. “Hi, Athena…”
She wrapped her robe around her, yawning as she ushered you both inside. “It’s two in the morning, baby, what’re you doing here? Is everything okay?”
Her voice was laced with sleep and you almost felt bad for waking her up but there was a glass of water on the counter. She had been awake for a few minutes when you knocked.
Buck wiped at his eyes with his free hand as he squeezed yours.
You returned the gesture, rubbing your own eyes as you spoke.
“We umm… we need-”
“Bobby…” Buck’s frayed voice rattled through the kitchen, his shoulders dropping as if the strings keeping him so tense had been cut.
You and Athena looked up to see your dad walk out of the bedroom, stretching as he walked into the kitchen.
“Buck? Y/n? What’s going on? Everything okay?” He was slowly coming around to the idea of being awake at such an ungodly hour as he noticed the look on Buck’s face.
“Buck? What’s wrong?”
Without saying anything, Buck launched his 6’2” frame at your dad, curling into him like a child. He pressed his face into Bobby’s shoulder, crying in relief.
You noticed Athena glance at you from the corner of your eye as Bobby looked at you, hoping for an explanation.
You swallowed, arms wrapping around yourself as you leaned against the counter. “A nightmare… about the lab incident.”
Bobby gripped Buck tighter, realizing that being the only one not stuck in there must have taken a bigger toll on Buck than he thought.
Athena rubbed your arm, extending a comforting hand to you. Seeing Buck reacting so viscerally like this had to be affecting you too, she wanted you to know that you weren’t alone. 
You smiled at her appreciatively, resting your head on her shoulder as Buck pulled back from the hug.
“It-it felt so real… you died, Bobby. I-I thought we lost you.”
A deep frown pulled at your dad’s lips, his brow creasing as he gripped Buck’s shoulders.
“It was just a dream, son,” he said, pulling Buck back into a hug. “Everyone made it out. Everyone’s okay. I’m okay, and I don’t plan on changing that anytime soon.”
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a/n: thank you so much for reading! i hope this could bring some comfort in, it was a huge comfort to write, and that it can hold you over until may 1...
and thank you to @startrekfangirl2233 for giving this a look over for me a giving some feedback!
also, happy easter to those who celebrate! i hope you're all having a great day!
tags (you can also follow @vinnys-recordcollection and turn on notifications ;p): @lovinglyeternal @bradleybeachbabe @achilles-rage @kmc1989 (tagged a few i thought might like it - apologies for anyone i missed, i gotta sort out taglists 😅)
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sourcherryandsprinkles · 11 months ago
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heyy, I just saw the first episode of season two and I’m completely destroyed. I need to read something with Jacaerys in which reader gives him a hug after what happened 🫶🏻
Request: Helloooo! I saw you were open to requests sooo with this episode- how about instead of Baela being the one to take Jace to Rheanyra, its reader who had been waiting for him since he landed? Jace x reader relationship is up to you!
I have written this a few weeks ago, but let's do a small blurb. Seeing Jace break was just so sad. Grab your tissues 🤧
Warnings: mention of character death, grief
my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time
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On the journey back to Dragonstone, Jacaerys swallowed back his tears. Vermax could feel that his rider was in pain, but he stayed focused on flying home. 
Although you couldn’t predict when they would arrive, you knew Jacaerys would fly home immediately upon receiving the letter. 
You greeted him outside when he landed, but Jacaerys refused to meet your eyes, focussing on princely duties because he could not bear to face his role as brother and son in that moment. He spoke like a prince, asking to be taken to the Queen so he could give her his report. 
Without speaking a word, you walked him to Rhaenyra’s chambers. The guards opened the door for you, nodding their heads at the prince. As you stepped inside, Rhaenyra turned at the sound of your footsteps on the stone floor. 
You bowed to the Queen, casting a last glance on Jacaerys before you left the room. ‘’You know where to find me,’’ you whispered to him, your voice barely audible. 
He didn’t respond. 
While he spoke to his mother about the Vale and the North, Jacaerys was trying to remain professional and keep his composure. He needed to stay strong for her. His voice was steady until he mentioned the North. The name of Cregan Stark brought back the images of the northman delivering the news of Lucerys’s death, causing Jacaerys to choke up on his words.
Rhaenyra held her eldest and they cried together. 
When he thought the tears were over, Jacaerys left his mother’s chambers. Servants were politely nodding their head at him on his way to his own chambers, a veil of sympathy on their faces. But Jacaerys paid them no attention as his emotions were threatening to spill again. 
As promised, you were sitting on his — your — chambers when he stepped in, waiting for him. You stood when hearing the door, and he broke down completely, his body shaking with sobs as he collapsed into your arms. 
You held Jacaerys tightly as he sobbed uncontrollably, his grief pouring out with each shuddering breath. 
You always knew him as the strong son of Princess Rhaenyra who held his head high and never let anything affect him. The strength he usually exuded was gone, replaced by the vulnerability of a boy who had lost his brother. It was gut-wrenching to see him cry, his hands clutching at your dress to anchor himself through the storm of his emotions.
‘’He died because of me,’’ he whispered between sobs, his voice raw with pain. ‘’It was my idea to go on dragonback instead of sending ravens.’’ 
Guilt laced his voice, and you pulled his head back, seeing his eyes red and swollen. You knew no words would stop his guilt. He would have to live with his for the rest of his life. But you could try to show him he was not entirely at fault. It was Vhagar at the commands of Aemond targaryen who killed Lucerys. Not him.
‘’Mayhaps it was your idea, but you couldn’t have known Aemond would be at Storm’s End asking for support from Borros Baratheon. He is the one responsible for this barbarous act,’’ you said, holding his gaze.
House of the dragon taglist: @khaleesihavilliard @domoron @ididliquorice @lover-of-helios @lover-of-helios @shine101 @tanyaherondale@mikariell95 @serrendiipty @lantsovheiress @gilliananderfuckme @shine101 @tetgod @clayzayden@memeorydotcom @tnu-ree @futuregws @blackravena @winxschester @mysteriouslydelightfulchaos @xxlaynaxx @secretsthathauntus @pilarxxxaguayo @emmavan39 @stargaryenx @erylilly @bbblackmamba @rainedrop97 @dreamer087 @gothicgay14 @ashlatano7567 @superkittywonderland @justaproudslytherpuff @evesolstice @buckysmainhxe @padfootsvixen @scarletmeii @evesolstice @dkathl @kaywsworld @tetgod @padfootsvixen @domoron  @weird-addiction @angeliod @xjennyx2 @adaydreamaway08  @mymultiveres  @secretsthathauntus  @puffycreamcakes @thirsty4nonlivingmen @naty-1001 @katiepie67 @moshpot24x @hc-geralt-23 @lovelynerdytraveler @saturn-sas  @zgzgh @sssjuico10 @tabloidteen @timetoten @deekaag @wondxrgurl @aerangi @strmborns @astridyoo15 @daemonslittlebitch @queenbeestuffs @severewobblerlightdragon @agentstarkid @msliz @vane1999-blog @fairyfolkloresposts @todaywasafairytale07 @otomaniac @zgzgzh @thebeardedmoon @golden-library @kikyrizuki @hnslchw @camy85 @winxschester @armstrongscommentsection @withfireandbl00d @randomstory56 @JudgmentDays-Girl @darylandbethfanforever9 @darylandbethfanforever9 @aegonswife @dakotapaigelove @jays-bullshit
All and more taglist: @kenqki@hawkegfs@gillybear17@black-rose-29@fudge13 @cece05 @laylasbunbunny @gemofthenight @beautyb1ade@mellabella101 @vxnity713  @bisexualgirlsblog@queenofslytherin889 @thatbxtchesblog @softb-tterfly @ethanlandrycanbreakmyheart  @xyzstar  @graceberman3   @mikeyspinkcup @jackierose902109 @daisydark @laurasdrey @mischieftom @fanatic4niall @peterholland04 @idkwhattonamethisblogs  @lexasaurs634  @notasadgirlipromise @zoeynicolas @thejuleshypothesis @multi-fandom-bi-bitch @lexasaurs634  @notasadgirlipromise @thejuleshypothesis  @katherinejess  @rafesgirlstuff   @lafleshlumpeater @iamluminosity  @Anouknani-2305 @books0fever @papichulo120627 @qardasngan @ghostlyvoidydragon @M0rgans1nterlud3 @dahlia-blossom21
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suempu · 11 months ago
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How about a blind reader and thistle
Like thistle met them by accident and now they just keep them around because reader makes them happy
gn + human, mage reader + can be platonic or not
<3
first off all, he’s fucking confused cause how the hell did you even end up in the dungeon? thistle first finds out about your existence when you accidentally stumble upon him after his confrontation with laios’ party.
he immediately puts up his guard when he hears your footsteps before you gasp in surprise.
“hello! wow, i didn’t think there would be another person down this deep...” you smile, staff clicking on the stone tiles.
he’s taken aback before asking you questions warily, to which he finds out you had some sort of echolocation ability. you have no clue that he had a sour expression on his face, assuming he only had a gruff voice from the aggressive way he talks.
you normally go dungeon crawling with your party but decided to walk around while they recuperate on the floor above. honestly, how did you even survive? what kind of idiot decides to take a casual walk in a dungeon? on the floor the red dragon was, no less. thistle thinks. you were lucky you missed it.
the two of you sit after you’ve offered him some food and snacks from your pack. he tried to refuse but you just kept on insisting.
thistle is interested in the foggy look in your eyes, unabashedly staring at your face after finding out you couldn’t see him.
you both sit on the floor as you munch on your bread, occasionally asking him questions and making conversation.
after that night, he’s curious about your whereabouts and everything about you, oftentimes sending out a creature to spy observe you. its been a long time since he has found good company, and to be completely honest, he’s lonely.
thistle came to know that your party has disbanded after eavesdropping with his creatures, the members finding different jobs and passions.
to your surprise, he appears again while you’re out camping on the second floor. you smile once you realize its your mysterious friend, eagerly offering him soup he couldn’t taste and a space for sleeping which he didn’t need. but he thanks you nonetheless.
thistle finds peace around you, the only person he could call a companion after so many years of isolation. if he’s in a decent mood, he’ll bring out his lute to play tunes while you hum.
conversations with you are enjoyable, you both find a good harmony of back and forth, discussing various topics such as nature, magic, and his hobbies.
“you write poems? that’s amazing. read it to me sometime?”
“i’m not sure you’d like it. it’d probably make you cry.”
you smile assuredly. “i’m sure it’s great! don’t sell yourself short!”
“you’re facing the wrong way. i’m on your left.”
“oh!”
you two grow closer once he lets you touch his face. the curiosity of what he looked like came out in a question as you whisper it to him unsurely.
thistle is hesitant at first, but your amazed gasps and the gentle touches of your palm against his cheek made his heart ache. how long has it been since someone had held him? talked to him? how long has he went without the softness and comfort of another being?
you caress his eyelids, nose, and ears while smiling, committing the feeling of his face to your mind.
“you’re beautiful. thank you for trusting me enough to do that.”
“how do you know? that i’m beautiful.” he murmurs, looking at the floor in contempt.
“i can feel it.” with a hand on your chest, you tell him wholeheartedly.
thistle allows himself to laugh, reaching out to tilt your chin at his direction. “you’re looking the wrong way again.”
you pout, “well, i can’t look or see at all, mind you!”
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bookyeom · 1 year ago
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whatever you say, bro - chs
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pairing: vernon x reader word count: 1.2k warnings: kissing, Shrek slander request prompt: "You're cute." "What did you say?" + "are you flirting with me?" "I’ve been trying to do that for three years."
Read Part Two here!
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A/N: Thanks so much for all the support on my 700 follower celebration. You guys rock! I'm doing my best to get through the requests, but there were way more than I anticipated so bear with me!
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Vernonie [8:59pm]: we still on for tomorrow night?
Your heart leaps, like it always does, when Vernon’s name pops up on your screen. 
Y/N [9:01pm]: yeah! see you then, bro
You sigh heavily, throwing your phone down onto the bed beside you and rolling over, pulling your pillow into your chest.
Bro.
It’s a defense mechanism, you know, but it’s getting a bit ridiculous now. You’ve taken to throwing out the word nervously when he gets too close – which seems to be more often than not lately. You’d been worried that your crush on Vernon was getting disgustingly apparent, and so you'd started with this whole "bro" nonsense. Now, you don’t know how to get out of it.
Every time he catches you looking at him and raises a dramatic brow; every time you’re making plans to hang out just the two of you; every time his hand accidentally brushes yours while he hands over a headphone for you to listen to a song – you find a way to call him 'bro'. So that he knows it’s all strictly platonic. Which it’s not, of course – not for you – but his friendship means more to you than anything in this world, and you’re not going to jeopardize that just because you think he’s hot. And kind. And funny. 
Sure thing, bro. See you tomorrow, bro. I love movie nights with you, bro. I love when you show me new music or video games and your face lights up, bro. I love your eyes and the way you laugh at your own jokes, bro. While we're at it, your smile is pretty nice too, bro. 
You close your eyes with a sigh. 
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"Thumb war."
"What?"
You’re sitting on the floor in Vernon’s apartment the next day, arguing over which movie to watch. It’s been at least a half hour of back and forth, so you'd decided to take matters into your own hands, and had proposed the most obvious solution.
"Thumb war," you repeat. "Winner gets to pick the movie." 
Vernon eyes you warily. "Fine. You're on." 
As soon as his fingers curl into yours, you can feel your stomach flutter. His touch sends goosebumps across your skin, and you regret the suggestion instantly, but you must carry on. For honour – and for the fact that if he makes you watch Shrek 2 again you might scream.
You square your shoulders and laugh at Vernon’s face, which has instantly turned competitive. You count down, and as your thumbs begin to battle, you feel the competitiveness in yourself grow, too. 
“Yes!” You cry. You have him pinned. 
You’re counting down when Vernon suddenly surges forward, your hands falling apart as you let out an ‘oof’ and fall to the ground. You let out a squeak as your back hits the floor with a soft thud, Vernon landing on top of you. His arms are on either side of your head as he pushes himself up a little, chest hovering above yours, and you can audibly hear the way your breath catches in your throat.
"Just shut up and let me pick a movie," he says breathlessly, and you’re sure you've forgotten how to breathe. His hips are between your knees, his chest pressed to yours, and you can feel every part of him against you.  
"Make me shut up," come your words, and you regret it immediately. His eyebrows raise, just as surprised as you are, and you swear he falters a little. 
"I will," he says back after a pause, and you can’t tear your gaze away from his. "I'll kiss you." 
The blood is rushing to your cheeks before you have time to think. Around now would be the time that you look away, but he’s so close that you can’t. Your heart is nearly pounding out of your chest, and you’re certain he can hear it. Or feel it.
Your head is spinning as you force out a laugh before saying, "Okay, bro."
Vernon’s eyes search your face before meeting your gaze again. His expression is serious, and you hold your breath as you wait for him to react.
But all he does is stand up, holding his hands up in surrender. "You can choose.” 
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For the rest of the night, things feel a bit awkward between you. You don’t comment on it like you normally would, because Vernon hasn’t said anything, which means he’s probably forgotten and it’s just you that’s making it weird now. You make it through your pick, and then he surprises you by picking one of your other favourites to watch as a second movie. It’s sweet, but you’re confused since he'd caused such a fuss earlier. 
As the movie progresses, you begin to relax a little. You can feel Vernon’s eyes on you as you giggle to yourself, and you shoot him a glare.
“What?”
“Nothing.” He shakes his head. You turn back to the TV, focusing again when you hear him add, quieter, “You’re cute.”
Your head whips back in his direction. He avoids your gaze this time, the only telltale sign he notices you looking shown in the way he fidgets with the remote. 
“What did you say?”
“I said you’re annoying.”
You think ignoring everything that’s just transpired in the last minute is probably for the best. 
“I’m about to be really annoying, then,” you quip – and then you begin to quote line after line. 
It’s one of his biggest pet peeves, and he knows you’re doing it on purpose. You continue, waiting for him to break. It doesn’t take very long.
"Oh my god. Shut up." You can hear the smile in his voice, and you know you aren’t annoying him that much. 
"Make me," you shoot back without thinking, your heart stopping as you quickly remember where those two words had gotten you just a couple of hours before. You think Vernon is holding his breath, too, and you resist the urge to shrink even further back into his couch. Don’t make it weird, it’s fine, you’re just joking, don’t make it –
Vernon’s hand is on your face before you can finish your thought, tilting your chin up towards him – and then he’s kissing you.
When he pulls back, it takes a second for your eyes to flutter open again. And when they do, he’s already looking back at you, unwavering. His thumb brushes against your chin before he smirks and says, eyebrows raised, "I told you I would, bro.”
Your mouth is agape as he drops his hand and turns back to the movie. You feel a bit like your entire brain is resetting as you process what just happened.
“Are you flirting with me?”
“I’ve been trying to do that for like, three years now, so… yeah.”
“You kissed me.”
Vernon looks at you again now, and you absolutely cannot understand how he’s so calm about all of this. Smiling about it, even. “I did. Thoughts?”
Your friend is stoic at the best of times, but his eyes always give him away. When he doesn’t break your gaze, when he just waits while you process, you can see it in the way he’s looking at you — that even if he seems calm on the outside, he’s nervous. Nervous that you’re going to reject him, nervous that he may have overstepped, nervous that you don’t like him back. As if that would even be possible. “I think,” you say slowly, “that the movie can wait a little longer if you wanted to kiss me some more… bro.”
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@wheeboo @tae-bebe @waldau @eoieopda @gyuminusone @minisugakoobies @lvlystars @seohomrwolf @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @christinewithluv @wqnwoos @iluvseokmin
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hyunjuenthusiast · 3 months ago
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HEYAA
can i request a nsfw fic with hyun-ju x fem!reader where they have pent up hate with eachother and they hatefuck? and PLEAS PLEASE dom!hyun-ju!!
THANK YOU🫶🫶
I love this request! Although who tf could hate Hyun-ju?! Certainly not me. She's my wife! But I shall do my best✋🏻😌 this is longer than what was probably wanted but I was BORED.
NOT SO HATEFULL AFFECTION
Summary: The request listed above.
Warnings: SMUT, dirty talk, jealousy, enemies to lovers ... mentions of death, kind of slow burn.
Not an adult? Don't read.🔞
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You watched as player 120 pressed the O, therefore voting to stay. She even has the audacity to look at Young-Mi as she walked to the blue side.
You caught her looking at you, and you gave her the meanest glare you could muster, making her look down a bit. Young-Mi stepped closer to you, looking up at you with those sad eyes before begging the players to let her go home, making you all the more upset at Hyun-ju.
When you and Young-Mi walked back to Ms. Geum-Ja and Yong-Sik's bunks, you glared scoffed as you saw Hyun-ju already sitting there. What a bitch, sitting with the people she betrayed.
You sat in front of her, with your back facing her. Young-Mi sat next to you, her eyes downcast to the floor. You almost cried at the sight, gently reaching over and holding her hand. "Everything will be okay, Young-Mi. I promise." You say to her softly, making her nod tearfully.
Hyun-ju obviously heard you because you can see her look away in shame from the corner of your eyes.
When Ms. Geum-Ja and her son return, the older woman asks Hyun-ju why. Why she would vote to stay and watch more people die.
You notice some of Young-Mi's tension eases at Hyun-ju's explanation. Telling Hyun-ju that she was beautiful, she even began calling her Unnie again. But not you. You couldn't shake the betrayal, even though you knew deep down, Hyun-ju wasn't being selfish. She wanted to be comfortable in her own skin.
So why did her betrayal hurt so much?
You could feel her gaze on your back, but you didn't acknowledge it, or her, in anyway.
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The time for lights out came, and you lay on your uncomfortable bed. You can't get her explanation out of your head. You felt bad for being upset, but at the same time, fuck her, you know?
You practically jump out of your skin as you hear a soft voice from behind you.
"Y/n?" Hyun-ju says, making you tense. No. You weren't talking to her. You ignore her, hoping she'll think you're asleep. You hear her shuffle closer before you feel your bed dip. She's sitting by your legs.
She fiddles with her hands, like she usually does when she's nervous. "I-I know you're awake, Y/n, and I know you don't want to talk to me. I understand." She sniffles, making you slightly role your eyes. Crying wasn't going to make you forgive her.
"I'm so sorry." She whispers. "I knew I made a mistake the second I saw you and Young-Mi." She says. "I promise that in the next vote, I'll vote to leave." She says, hoping to make things right.
You turn your body, finally looking at her, your eyes cold. "In the next vote? What if you're dead by then? Huh? What if I or Young-Mi are dead by then? Or Ms. Geum-Ja or Yong-Sik? Christ, even Jun-Hee! She's fucking pregnant! Does surgery really mean more to you than our lives?" You ask her, giving her a tearful glare.
"You don't understand." She says softly, giving you pleading eyes. "You're right. I don't. I'll never understand how someone could be so cruel."
"Y/n please, I-I" you inturupt her. "Go fuck yourself, Hyun-ju." Turning back around, your back facing her once more.
You hear her sniffle as she walks away.
You all head to the next game, the others acting as if nothing happened. You listen as she apologizes to Young-Mi on the staircase, feeling a little hurt that the younger girl forgives her so easily.
You stand far away from her as Mingle begins. Even as she says that your group should stick together.
"SIX"
The voice says, making everyone scramble to find a group. Your group only had five until Hyun-ju grabbed the crazy witch lady, making six.
Running into a yellow room, you pant, a little put of shape. But everyone is safe. As you lean your body down, your hands gripping your knees, you feel a gentle hand rubbing your back soothingly.
Looking up, you see it's Hyun-ju. You quickly move away.
You step back as the shamen lady comes towards you.
"I know what festers in your lustful heart. There's no out running it. I suspect you'll give in any time now." She says, her eyes naturally crazy.
You look at her. "The fuck." You say, making Yong-Sik laugh, in return his mom hits his arm.
The door unlocks, and round 2 starts, then round 3, then round 4.
"EIGHT"
The voice shouts. You, Young-Mi, Yong-Sik, Ms. Geum-Ja, Hyun-ju, Jun-Hee, Dae-Ho, and Gyeong-Seok all bolt to another yellow colored door, but there was already a group of people in there, you all look over when Hyun-ju shouts that she found an available room.
Running as fast as you all can to the green room, you let out a yelp as another player knocks you down. You quickly get up, looking around for your group, scared as the timer is at 7 seconds.
"Y/n!" You hear Hyun-ju yell, and you watch in horror as she races towards you, leaving behind everyone in the green room, when Gi-Hun and Young-il run into the room, making Eight, Hyun-ju quickly drags you to another one, one wich thankfully needed two other players, as soon as you both got it, the timer ran out.
She saved you. But at what cost. "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" you scream at her, not caring about the other players in the room. "THEY WOULD HAVE DIED! YOU SELFISH FUCK!" You yell, hitting her chest. She allows it. Maybe if you let out some of that pent-up anger, you would feel better.
"I saved you. You wanted me to just leave you behind?" She asks, clearly irritated. "YES! Everyone would have died, Hyun-ju! EVERYONE."
"They didn't. And you're still breathing. That's all that matters." She says, making you falter. She goes to hold your hand, but you pull it back.
After the doors unlock, you quickly hug Young-Mi, apologizing to everyone for almost causing them to lose.
The final round begins.
"TWO"
The voice says, you look to Young-Mi, but she's already being dragged away by Gyeong-seok. You let out a sound of surprise as Hyun-ju picks you up, racing to an empty room.
She holds the door, making sure no other players get in. You're slightly shaken. The stress finally getting to you. You hear the door lock and Hyun-ju catches her breath. "Are you okay?" She asks softly, this time you nod, no hostility.
You look at her tearfully. "T-Thank you" she just gives you a reassuring smile.
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Back at the bunks, you're zoned out, not really paying attention to what Ms. Geum-Ja is saying. You slightly jump as you feel someone touch your shoulder, looking up, it's Yong-Sik. "You gonna eat that?" He asks, eyeing your kimbop.
Thankful for the laugh, you hand it to him. You don't have an appetite anyway.
Hyun-ju gives you a disapproving look, walking over and sitting down next to you. She holds up her food, offering you some, you just shake your head, making her scoff.
"Stop being so stubborn, take it." She says. You just shake your head once more. "M'not hungry." You whisper, your voice a bit horse.
The guards make an announcement that it's time to use the bathroom, the woman go first. You walk behind Hyun-ju.
Some women give her strange looks, but Ms. Geum-Ja is quick to shut that shit down. You don't even use the bathroom, only sitting and crying silently. Letting out some of the fear and anger you have.
Not realizing that almost everybody was gone. Almost everybody. Hyun-ju gently knocks on the stall door. "Y/n, are you okay?"
You quickly wipe your tears. "I'm fine," you lie. You can hear her sigh. "Are you decent?" She asks, making your eyebrows furrow. "Umm yes?"
You're baffled at how easily she gets the door open. You're about to question her before she kneels in front of you.
You tense as she reaches up and caresses your cheek, wiping away all the tears you missed. "It's okay, sweet girl." She whispers, which causes more tears to form in your eyes.
Your lip quivers. "D-Do you promise?" You ask, your voice trembling. She gives you a questioning look. "Do I promise what, sweetness?"
You sniffle. "Do you promise you'll vote to leave this time?" She visibly melt. "I promise, Y/n."
"I'm still angry with you." You say, a small pout on your lips, making her smile softly.
"Let me make it up to you?" She asks, making you cock your head.
"How are you going to do th-" She inturupts you, pressing her lips gently to yours. You pull away with a gasp as you feel her tongue trace your bottom lip. "What are you doing?!" You whisper.
"I'm making it up to you. Let me make you feel good, sweet girl. You deserve it." You back away as she tries to kiss you again."You can't just expect me to forgi-" She kisses you again. This time, her tongue makes its way into your mouth.
You pant as she kisses her way down your neck, her hands reaching to the bottom of your shirt marked 005. "Can I take this off, Sweetness? Hmm? We don't have much time." She says, her voice lustful. You nod quickly.
Your shirt is discarded on the floor, and she takes in the sight of your breasts in your dark purple bra. She waists not time ripping it off, literally. Making you gasp! "Hyun-ju! I can't get another one!" She only chuckles. "Good, that means I'll get to enjoy the view until we get out of here."
Your head rolls back as she suckles one of your nipples, only to wince as she bites gently. "Don't look away, pretty girl, if you look away I'll stop." She says firmly.
You huff, but keep your eyes trained on her. "I hate you and your porcelain cap teeth," you mumble as she bites down again.
"Be nice to me, baby. Or I'll treat you like the brat you are." She says making you roll your eyes in return. She doesn't like that.
"Stand up, put your hands in the seat, and bend over," She says, standing up herself. "Ew no, that's unsanitary-" She pulls you up, putting you in the position she wants. "Count" She says.
"W-what?" You ask, but yelp as she suddenly spanks your ass. "Ow! What the f-"
"I said count." She growls.
....."one"
When she reaches 10 you almost start crying, she's fucking strong.
"Are you going to be a good girl? Or do you want some more?" She asks, rubbing the cheek she just spanked. "I-Ill be a good girl!" You say quickly. You can't even imagine how much more it would've hurt if she had pulled your pants down.
As a reward, she slowly reaches her hand to the front of your pants. "Is this okay?" She whispers, making you nod. Her hand slowly goes past the barrier of your panties.
"You're so wet." She chuckles. "The little brat is a masochist." You blush, and gasp as you feel her fingers start to rub circles on your clit, but whine when she stops.
She only turns you around, guiding your back against the stall wall and putting her hand right back into your panties.
God, she's good with her fingers....but you won't feed her ego by telling her that. You let out a small moan, closing your eyes, relishing in the pleasure.
She quickly stops again. "What did I say about looking away?" She asks, her voice firm.
You whine, quickly opening your eyes. "I-Im sorry!" She gives you a glare.
"You will be." She says as she pulls down her pants, revealing her cock. Your eyes widen. How the actual fuck was THAT supposed to fit inside you.
"Take off your pants, and pull down your panties. Now." She commands and you do.
You're a little shy when pulling down your panties and slow, so she yanks them down. Putting them in her pocket. "These are mine now." She says darkly.
She waists no time, slapping her thick cock against your clit. "F-Fuck, please!" You say, giving her a pleading look.
She pushes only the tip in before taking it back out, repeating that until you're practically crying. "Please!" She chuckles. "You want my cock, don't you baby?" She asks, leaning down to nibble at your neck. "Yes y-yes please Hyun-ju!" You beg.
Your breath is knocked out of your lungs as she gives one thrust forward, bottoming out in one stroke. Fuck she was big. You felt so full.
"What's the matter, sweetness? Hmm?" She mocks as she pulls alost all the way out, slamming back in. "FUCK!" You scream, already knowing she's going to bruise your cervix.
"You're such a slut. Letting an older woman fuck you." She says, moaning into your ear. You cling to her, thinking it wasn't fair that you were the only naked one.
You go to beg, but only whimpers escape your lips. "Oh poor baby, I've already fucked you dumb. Hmm?" She mocks, reaching down to rub your clit.
"You've been such a good little slut for me, go ahead...show me how much you love my cock. Cum for me." She says, her voice pure sex. "F-Fuck H-Hyun-ju!" You say as you get closer and closer.
"Cum for me Y/n. Now." She says as her thrusts start to get sloppy. When she leans down, taking your nipple into her mouth once more, you let go. Screaming in ecstacy as you clench around her twitching cock.
"Fuck yeah baby, just like that" She says, finding her own release inside you.
You both pant as you calm down. She reaches for the toilet paper, gently cleaning you up, helping you pull your pants back up, and putting your shirt back on.
"W-Wait my underwear!" You say, making her smirk. "I told you...those are mine now."
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I got this request a HOT minute ago, but I hope this delivers 🙏🏻😭 I tried to make it as hateful as I could ✋🏻💀
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hahaifolded · 5 months ago
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141 x POC!GN Intelligence Operative - Debrief 2 Author's Notes: This was super hard to write and not gonna lie maybe hard to read for some of yall so like please be careful. Probably safe after the lines Warnings: MDNI, Racism, Angst
Ghost was staring daggers at the back of the rookie’s head. How fucking dare he go after you? And in front of Ghost’s face? His stomach twists every time he thinks of Nikto’s question. Everyone is afraid of him… but not this rookie. Why?
He’ll find out soon enough. After Price is done gutting scolding the boy, Ghost will have turn. And so will Johnny and Kyle. Johnny was in the back of Price’s office with Ghost while Kyle was on his way.
“So, want to tell me what happened during training?” Price sneers. He sat forward in his chair, eyes burning with hatred.
Ghost nearly lunges at the rookie when the rookie just snorts in response. Ghost could tell that Price’s patience was withering by the second.
“I’d advise you to answer the question if you don’t want to be on toilet duty for the next month,” Price warns.
The rookie slouches in his chair and lets out an exasperated breath. “I know you’re doing this as a formality but you can drop the act. We’re on the same page.” Ghost cocks his head. What is this rookie on about?
“And what page is that?” Price thankfully asks for the whole room. The rookie leans towards Price.
“That this whole diversity initiative is just complete bullshit,” he admits like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Price’s eyes widen as the rookie keeps going and going on his whole anti-diversity spiel. Ghost’s and Soap’s body lock up.
Price clears his throat and asks, “and where did you get idea?”
“It’s pretty obvious. I mean none of you guys speak to them unless absolutely necessary. You never invite them to lunch or even the bar after missions. It’s clear none of you like them. I’ll admit I didn’t realize it until Lieutenant Ghost gave me a heads up.” Ghost feels his teammates’ eyes on him as soon as the rookie said his name.
Still looking at Ghost, Price asks what clue. And with glee, the rookie lets the three know how Ghost ripped your “dumb” gift in front of him and some other rookies while putting you in your place. Ghost feels his entire face go hot as he remembers the moment.
“And thank god he did because if I’m honest with you Captain, if I had to respect another one of them, I’d probably transferred by now and I know I’m not the only one,” the rookie jokes. While the rookie laughs, the 141 boys stay silent. None of them could believe what they were hearing. They didn’t realize how their actions looked like from the inside out.
Ghost felt his stomach churn. Fuck— is that why you asked him to accompany you with the rookies. Because— fuck. You turned to him for protection when actuality, he was the fucking reason you needed it.
Before this retched conversation could even continue, Kyle walks in. The rookie lets out a wicked laugh and quips, “Don’t worry Captain. Me and the boys will get rid of this one.” Kyle freezes, confused by the statement. Ghost’s entire body goes hot. He rushes towards the rookie and throws him to the floor. This ends now.
— — —
Ghost takes a deep breath before gently knocking at your office door. It’s time to make amends. And if amends can’t be made, he can at least be punished by your hand. He waits with bated breath as quick steps near the door.
“That was fa—,” you immediately stop. You straighten up your posture and roughly rub your eyes.
“Are you crying?” Ghost barks. He didn’t mean for it to come out so accusatory. Yes, he’s mad but not at you, never at you. Ghost takes a large step into your office and quickly closes the door.
Your jaw tightens at his sudden entry. You stop rubbing your eyes and stare straight in his eyes. “Might come as a surprise for you but we’re not all complete monst—.”
Ghost gently grasps your face in both hands and takes a sharp breath. “Please. Anyone but you.” Ghost knows he’s overstepping but he has to hold you at least once before you completely slip from his fingers. While wearing gloves, he gently rubs his thumbs over your cheeks and stares in your eyes with every ounce of admiration he has for you
You still. Your eyes widen in confusion. “Lieutenant, what’s going on?” Your gaze shift from his eyes to his hands on your face. They keep bouncing back and forth until they finally pause to his right hand as you catch Ghost’s skin peeking out between his pointer and middle finger.
“They’ll never bother you again, I promise,” he whispers. He knew you recognized the gloves. He knew you were reliving that moment in your head.
“Ghost?” you whisper. You look up at him, eyes shining with so many emotions. Anger, disbelief, betrayal… hope.
There’s still hope. Maybe Ghost can turn this around. Maybe Ghost can be the man you deserve. Maybe Ghost can be yours—
— your office door slams open, revealing a towering Nikto at the door frame. You immediately pull yourself out of Ghost’s grasp and lean against your desk. Ghost turns around and faces Nikto head on. The two giants stand still, facing one another, almost waiting for the other one to strike.
“Lieutenant, surprised to see you here,” Nikto states. He walks through the door and glides past Ghost. He makes his way to you and eagerly takes your side. Without a single care in the world, Nikto caresses your face and you immediately lean into his touch.
Ghost just stares on as the weight of his actions fell on him. Instead of protecting you, he threw you in the wolves. He pushed you away and pushed you in the arms of another monst— man.
“Lieutenant,” That breaks Ghost out of his trance. Nikto, with your head still in his hands, stares at Ghost and asks if he needed anything.
You.
Word Count: I’ll get to it
More Thoughts - Next Thought
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pastanest · 10 months ago
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Spencer Reid x she/her!reader
A/N: me posting twice in the same month?? someone do a welfare check
warning: age gap mentioned (bc I’m a slut) but not extensively or in a weird way bc Spencer’s not a pervert lol
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Moth To A Flame
Closing the bathroom door with your own back, you slide down it until you’re sitting on the floor, bringing your knees to your chest and taking a shaky breath. You shouldn’t call him while crying, you know better than that, but you know your own tells enough to hope you can mask them; a futile effort considering who you intend to call at 3am.
Lifting your phone to your ear, you hear it ring no more than twice before your prayers are answered, and you breathe a sigh of relief.
“Hey, Spencer.” You greet him quietly, smiling from just saying his name.
“Hi, sunshine. How are you?” Spencer’s voice is calm and collected, but it’s clear through the phone he’s delighted to hear from you.
There’s no question raised regarding the time at which you’re calling. But no matter how many times this happens, Spencer always enquires after your wellbeing.
“I’m okay, thank you. Just…you know. How are you?” The question is returned, though neither of you are a fan of small talk.
“Yes,” Spencer responds specifically to the insinuation he knows, because he does. Then, he continues, “-I’m well, too, thank you.”
His words, and what goes left unsaid, makes your smile grow.
“What’re you reading?” You ask, and the quiet chuckle you hear from Spencer is enough to prove you right in your assumption of his reason for being awake at this hour.
“Pride And Prejudice. How did you know I was reading?” He wonders aloud with a fondness in his voice that he reserves only for you.
“When aren’t you reading?” You roll your eyes playfully, and Spencer can practically hear it.
“When I’m sleeping.” He quips, his own smile evident in his voice.
It’s enough to have you laughing softly into the phone, which only serves to make Spencer’s smile grow.
“Read me some?” You request quietly.
Like you ever need to ask.
Spencer clears his throat into the phone.
“After a silence of several minutes, he came towards her in an agitated manner, and thus began, ‘In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.’ Elizabeth's astonishment was beyond expression. She stared, coloured, doubted, and was silent. This he considered sufficient encouragement, and the avowal of all that he felt and had long felt for her immediately followed. He spoke well, but there were feelings besides those of the heart to be detailed, and he was not more eloquent on the subject of tenderness…” Spencer reads aloud, and the smile on your face is almost as soft as his voice sounds through the phone.
By the end of the chapter, your eyes have drifted closed and your head is tipped back against the bathroom door behind you. Hearing how calm your breathing has become, Spencer pauses, and you hear him close the book.
“See you in the morning?” He always asks because on the rare chance you’ll say no, at least he has time to mentally prepare for your absence. Tonight is not the night for that.
“Yeah, see you tomorrow…Thank you.” You reply, already feeling close to sleep.
This stumps Spencer momentarily, and he falters before he replies, “For what?”
And there’s only one thing you can say to that.
“Being you.”
Spencer chuckles sheepishly, “I don’t know how to be anyone else.”
Of course he doesn’t. Perhaps, if he was anyone else, you’d stand a chance.
“Goodnight, Spencer.” You tell him gently.
“Goodnight, sunshine.” There’s a second of warm silence as you savor the sound of each other’s quiet breathing, and then you both hang up the call.
Standing up from where you’d been sitting on the bathroom floor, you take another deep breath before reaching for the door handle. Walking through a house that isn’t yours, into a living room where the sound of snoring from the couch makes you want to tear your hair out, past a kitchen where a cheap measly pile of four red roses lie limp on the counter with a post-it note in place of any kind of meaningful card, up the staircase where framed photographs filled with eyes that aren’t on your side stare down at you judgmentally, until you’re safely confined in the bedroom you feel doomed to. Crawling into your side of the bed, you adjust the pillows that occupy the other side, filling the space in a shape long enough to resemble the shape of someone under your bedcovers. And with Spencer’s voice still in your ears wishing you a good night, you close your eyes and drift off to sleep.
Meanwhile, Spencer adjusts his alarm clock to wake him an hour earlier than necessary, and awakens from a peaceful slumber with a determined mission in mind. Once his normal morning routine is complete, instead of driving to the office, he drives to his preferred florist, who greets him with a knowing smile when Spencer walks in.
“Another dozen?” The florist guesses.
“Please.” Spencer nods, smiling politely.
Retrieving his wallet from his back pocket, Spencer pays for the flowers and graciously thanks the florist, taking the flowers and then leaving the establishment to return to his car. He drives back home, placing the dozen flowers in a glass vase that he keeps pristine for this very purpose, with the perfect level of water for optimal growth for this specific species of flower. Very carefully, Spencer inspects them until he determines which has the prettiest bloom today, and that is the one he elects to remove from the vase, carefully securing its stem in seran wrap and placing it in the pocket of his suit jacket, then continuing on his normal journey into work.
Purposely, Spencer arrives earlier than the rest of the team, so that he can execute his plan without interruptions. From the staff kitchen, he chooses the most elegant looking glass he can find and again pours the perfect level of water - this time for just one flower, specifically - unwrapping the single bloom in his suit jacket and setting in the glass. He then walks to your desk and positions it in an aesthetically pleasing location, but already knows it is not enough. The picture is not complete. It must be perfect for you. Briefly visiting his own desk, Spencer opens the drawer to take a piece of his own parchment paper, from which he cuts a small section that he then folds in half. On what appears to be the front of the folded piece, he maps out a constellation in a dot-to-dot sketch, then inside the fold of paper, he writes the story behind it. After several attempts, Spencer finds the perfect angle at which to place the folded piece of paper next to the flower on the desk, and only then does he return to his usual morning routine of making himself a coffee in the staff kitchen. Counting down the minutes.
By the time you get to the office, you’ve pushed the thoughts of your home from your mind and have a bright smile on your face, looking forward to a day spent working with your friends and not thinking about-
“(Y/N)! I just saw! He got you roses! That’s SO cute! You have, like, the best boyfriend!” Penelope squeals as she runs up to you the very second you walk through the glass doors of the bullpen.
Your heart sinks and your eyebrows furrow.
“You saw?”
Penelope nods excitedly, gesturing to her phone, where she shows you the post your boyfriend had made on social media: a picture he had taken of the four red roses he’d bought you that he filtered to high heaven to make them look more grand than they were, with a caption that said ‘happy four and many more, babe x’. If it weren’t for the sake of keeping your business private - something he clearly cares for about as much as he does you - you’d scoff.
“Oh, yeah. Must’ve missed that he posted that.” You plaster a smile on your face that doesn’t reach your eyes, walking side by side with Penelope towards your desk.
“It was your four year anniversary, right? Did you do anything fancy?” She’s giddy on your behalf.
“No, just had a quiet night in.” You provide an excuse, the most generous blanket statement you could have given to the shambles that were your boyfriend’s anniversary plans.
Your dejectedness, however, is abruptly cut short when your gaze lands on your desk. A single bloom of your favorite flower, with a neatly folded handwritten note of a constellation placed next to it. In a microsecond, you’re turning to where Spencer sits at his desk, hiding his smirk behind his cup of coffee.
“You didn’t!” You feign chastisement, but your giddiness is obvious.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Spencer shrugs, his smile as obvious as yours is.
You’re practically bouncing on the spot when you bring the little glass and the delicate flower within to your face to breathe in the sweet scent.
“These aren’t even in season anymore, Spencer, how did you-“
The question is cut short by a magician who never reveals his secrets.
“I played no part in this, but perhaps someone happens to know somebody else who is equipped to grow them on request.” There’s a teasing lilt to his otherwise matter-of-fact tone, and you are shaking your head in absolute disbelief.
Setting the glass back down on your desk, you pick up the constellation, admiring it carefully before folding it and placing it in your desk drawer, in amongst another 30-something hand drawn constellations. The smile is still lingering on your face when you sit down at your desk, and from where Spencer sits at his, his chest feels warm. So much joy from you at the cost of only an hour’s less sleep and a few more dollars than the asking price of your favorite flowers. Perhaps, tonight you won’t call him trying to hide that you’d been crying again, he hopes. Whether that comes to fruition or not, he has another eleven blooms waiting in his apartment to gift you at random intervals to surprise you and keep your tears at bay for as long as he can, without you ever telling him there was a chance of them falling. He knows.
For the rest of the day, Spencer catches you glancing at the flower on your desk while you work through various reports and paperwork, an almost shy smile lighting up your face every time you see it there.
It’s only when the team begins packing up for the day that Spencer thinks to look into what Penelope had referenced that morning- a post of some kind? Easily enough, Spencer finds your boyfriend’s social media on his computer, and what he discovers makes him borderline violent. Four years together, encompassed by four measly roses and what you called a ‘quiet night in’ that was so beyond underwhelming you ended your evening by calling Spencer from your bathroom. A celebration of that scale warranted only four red roses, while the mere hint you’d been crying was enough for Spencer to visit the florist he pays specifically to keep growing your favorite flowers for you, to buy another dozen that he intends to deliver to you one by one at irregular intervals. Still, it isn’t Spencer’s job to compensate for what is clearly absent from your relationship; at least, not consciously.
“Babe!” A voice calls out that has Spencer using every ounce of strength he possesses to withhold from rolling his eyes. Shutting down his computer, he stands from his desk just in time to see your expression fall where you pack away your things at your own desk.
Turning to face your boyfriend, you give him a tight-lipped smile.
“Hey, what’re you doing here?” You ask shortly.
Excellent question, Spencer thinks.
“Just came to surprise you and drive you home!” Your boyfriend exclaims like it’s some kind of achievement, opening his arms in a big gesture as he approaches your desk.
How considerate, ambushing you at your workplace under the guise of it being a nice surprise, Spencer scoffs internally, deliberately slowing the pace at which he readies his satchel to leave the office.
“Oh. Thanks.” You don’t know what else to say. “I’ll be ready in a second.” You add, feeling like you’re defaulting to basic lines of dialogue to avoid awkward silences.
“Great!” Your boyfriend exclaims, looking around the bullpen like he’s never seen the place before - he has, twice, and Spencer wishes his eidetic memory would allow him to erase the memory of your discomfort during both instances - until his eyes land on a face he recognises, and he grins.
“Spencer! My man!” Your boyfriend yells, and your eyes widen as you watch him walk right over to Spencer and pull him into a bro-hug that immediately has Spencer rigidly uncomfortable.
“I’ve told you-“ You implore, shooting Spencer an apologetic and pleading look before your boyfriend starts talking over you.
“Oh yeah! Sorry, man, forgot you’re weird about touching people.” He laughs, throwing his hands up in mock surrender.
You scowl, parting your lips to bite his head off, but Spencer steps in to prevent you from saying something that’ll only cause more arguments for you when you go home.
“I have an acute awareness and disliking towards unfamiliar germs and contact.” Spencer corrects your boyfriend firmly, aware that only you and him realize what he means by a germ in this context.
“Yeah, man, no worries.” Your boyfriend laughs, like he’s the funniest man in the world to himself. “Ready to go, babe?” He asks you.
“Mhmm.” Another tight-lipped smile, and that’s apparently convincing enough for your boyfriend, who wraps an arm around your waist in a careless action rather than something that should be treasured, and would be treasured by the man you look over your shoulder to give one last apologetic expression to.
That is, until Emily steps out of her office and calls over to you, “Don’t forget about Rossi’s party!”
And you literally wince.
“A party?! Oh man! Can’t wait! Thanks, Emmers!” Your boyfriend answers for you, regarding a party you had deliberately neglected to mention to him, and then he’s all but dragging you out of the office.
Once out of earshot, Spencer actually does scoff.
“Emmers?” Emily asks him with a frown from where she stands on the raised walkway, leaning on the railing.
“A shocking breach of social etiquette to assume a nickname for someone he barely knows.” Spencer clarifies, to which Emily nods.
“You still not coming to Rossi’s tonight?” She elects to ask him, a smile curling at the corner of her mouth.
Spencer sighs heavily. He looks down at his desk, then lifts his head to look over at the elevator doors closing, snatching the view of you away. He knows what will happen tonight. He knows.
The mirror stares back at him. If someone told Spencer a year ago that he’d be attending a work related get together he’d initially rejected the invitation of but went back on himself solely in the hopes that his suit of choice would impress a coworker just over half his age who has a boyfriend, Spencer would have walked right out of prison and requested a psych eval. Still, the thought at the forefront of his mind is that 6 months and 8 days ago he had worn an all-black suit on a case that you had complimented. It is a foolish dream to think you would compliment him for it again, but for you, Doctor Spencer Reid is a proud fool.
Much to your own embarrassment, you and your boyfriend knock at Rossi’s door an hour late, and based on your expression it is not difficult for Spencer to deduce it’s not your fault. Or, it wouldn’t have been difficult if his brain hadn’t short-circuited at the sight of you wearing a thin strapped, floor length purple silk dress that hugged your every curve to the extent that when Spencer rose from his seat in a gentlemanly gesture at your entrance, his knees very nearly buckled beneath him to a position of worship. Your boyfriend’s arm is careless around your waist again, and he drops it not to pull your chair out for you at the table, but to bro-hug David Rossi, who looks at him like he spat in his bowl of pasta. In your disgruntled state, it takes you a second to acknowledge that Spencer is standing, and in between greeting the rest of the team, your eyes continually flit back to him, his heart skipping a beat each and every time in a way that only further convinces him he is in the midst of a medical emergency. Finally, your gaze lingers on him, and he doesn’t waste the opportunity.
“Can I get you a drink? Rossi’s minibar has some of your favorites.” Spencer gestures with the hand not holding his own drink, and without so much as looking to your plus one, you nod and walk around the table.
His large hand ghosts the small of your back, fingers flexing, but he doesn’t allow himself to make contact until he counts the microseconds to cross the distance that takes you both away from every other pair of eyes in this house. The heat of Spencer’s fingertips meet the purple silk of your dress, barely there, but oh, do you feel it.
Once safely standing at the minibar, Spencer only needs to watch your face to see which bottle your eyes light up at, and as soon as he notices, he pours you a glass without you having to ask. In a gesture that feels like a secret, the two of you clink your glasses together and lock eyes to take a simultaneous sip.
“Nice suit.” You nod at Spencer, a shy smile forming behind your glass.
“Thank you.” He tries not to choke on his drink, then nods back at you. “Pretty dress.”
You have to bite your lip to prevent your smile from growing any bigger.
“Thank you. The color reminded me of your scarf.” You remark quietly, and if you weren’t a profiler, you probably wouldn’t notice the almost imperceptible widening of Spencer’s eyes at your words.
“It is a similar shade.” He agrees, his heart in his throat.
Comfortable silence settles between you. Eyes locked, nursing your drinks, your free hands hanging idly at your sides. Standing just a little too close. Fingers almost touching.
“I’m sorry about earlier.” You say eventually.
Spencer shakes his head dismissively. “I appreciate it, but his oversights aren’t your responsibility.” Or your burden, he so badly wants to add.
You sigh. “If he overstepped the boundaries of a guy who was less of a man than you, he could’ve got his face caved in.”
And what a shame that would have been, Spencer muses in his own mind.
“I didn’t escalate the situation, but not because I’m a man- because it wasn’t a worthy cause.” He amends.
“So if there was a worthy cause, you’d have clocked him?” You giggle at the idea.
“Possibly.” Definitely, Spencer smirks.
“What constitutes a worthy cause in the mind of Doctor Spencer Reid?” You tease, tilting your head to look up at him with a curious twinkle in your eyes.
“If he made you cry.” Spencer chooses his words very carefully, and inspects every micro expression on your face in response.
Because your boyfriend has made you cry, you know that, and you know Spencer knows too, despite the fact you haven’t ever stated as such. He knows. All you’d have to do is say the word, and Spencer would walk right back into the dining room, grab your boyfriend by his collar in front of the entire team, drag him outside and beat him to a pulp in the street.
If Spencer wasn’t a profiler, he probably wouldn’t notice the almost imperceptible widening of your eyes at his words.
“Babe! There you are! Rossi’s served us up a couple plates of something with a name I can’t pronounce- Spencer! Hey, man!” Your boyfriend’s agitating, grating voice cuts into the peaceful bubble you and Spencer had been existing in.
Sharing an equally irritated glance, you both turn to face him.
“Linguine alla Puttanesca.” Spencer drawls.
“Yeah, something like that, for sure!” Your boyfriend laughs, loudly, and without you saying a word, his arm is thrown around your waist again, stealing you from Spencer - who trails behind with a scowl fixed on your boyfriend’s arm - and returning to the dining room.
At the table, you sit opposite Spencer, with your boyfriend sitting on your left. You’re grateful for the casual conversation in the room taking his attention away from you for the most part, allowing you the peace of eating without him saying something that makes you want to vomit.
“Been thinking of getting some sleeping pills myself, not been sleeping too good on the couch!”
Nevermind.
Your eyes close in a pained blink, and you lift your napkin with an unnecessarily firm grip to wipe at your mouth.
“Oh. You’ve not got…comfy cushions?” Penelope tries to save the conversation, but the awkward silence has already descended upon the table at your boyfriend’s blatant overshading at your expense.
“Nope, barely been sleeping a wink! I miss my own bed, I’ll tell you that!” Your boyfriend laughs.
Setting your napkin down, you keep your gaze fixed on your half empty plate. You can feel eyes on you. Everywhere.
“A dinner party with your partner’s friends is not the social setting for discussing your relationship.” Spencer quips, releasing enough tension in your chest to allow you a breath.
“Don’t worry, bro, she doesn’t mind!” Your boyfriend nudges you with his arm, and you are rigid.
“Nobody at this table requires a profiling skillset to determine that (Y/N) does mind.” Spencer’s protective nature is bristling.
“Oh yeah, bet you profilers can just look and tell exactly what her problem is, huh?!” Your boyfriend laughs. “Go on, guess!” He demands of the table, like he’s prepping a joke with the greatest punchline in human history.
The table is silent. You close your eyes in a pained blink, begging any god that may exist, please, please-
“She won’t sleep with me!” Your boyfriend roars with laughter, and time slows to an agonizing halt.
The only accompanying sounds are cutlery clattering against plates, then two chairs scraping against the floor.
“That’s enough. Get out.” Rossi points at the door.
“With pleasure.” Spencer’s tone is cool as ice. In a fraction of a second, he rounds the table, grabs your boyfriend by his collar and drags him out of Rossi’s dining room, to the front door.
While the rest of the team crowd around you to check you’re okay, you’re shaking your hand and scrambling to stand, running outside. Spencer’s fists grip your boyfriend’s collar, pinning him to the side of his car.
“-and if I ever find you within a five mile radius of her, I’ll ruin your life without breaking a single law.” He seethes.
“She’s barely even my girlfriend, man, she doesn’t even put out! You can have her!” Your ex boyfriend holds his hands up in surrender while signing his own death warrant.
Spencer’s right hook sends him hurtling against the sidewalk, and Spencer is on him in the blink of an eye. Trapping him under his legs, Spencer delivers punch after punch, hearing bones crack with the force but only seeing red, until Rossi and Luke physically pull him off, and even then he tries to fight past them to carry on.
“Kid, kid, take a breath- you got him!” Rossi gently pats Spencer’s back, and with wide eyes like a deer in headlights, you appear in front of him.
“Spencer.” You breathe his name with an unnamed emotion, reaching up to cup his face in your hands, and his glazed over eyes that hadn’t been able to look anywhere but the bloody mess on sidewalk, find you in an instant.
Emily is already calling in some favors with the local police department to get this resolved with minimal assault charges, if possible.
“C’mon, inside.” You tell Spencer gently, taking one of his trembling, bloody hands in yours and guiding him back into Rossi’s house.
Taking him past the dining room, you find the kitchen and lead Spencer to lean against the empty counter beside the sink. Very carefully, you hold both of his hands under the cold water to wash them free of blood. It doesn’t take you long to realize the blood doesn’t just come from your ex-boyfriend. He’s running on adrenaline, breathing heavily, half watching you and half watching the doorway, as if expecting someone else to walk in that he has to take out to protect you.
Once his hands are as clean as you can get them, you retrieve some ice packs from Rossi’s freezer and hold them to Spencer’s swollen, bloody knuckles. You can’t look away from them.
“Are you in any pain yet?” You ask in a small voice.
“None.” Spencer answers sharply, gaze fixed on the doorway now because he can keep you in his peripheral vision, mind locked in fight or flight mode with an obvious winner.
“This is all my fault, Spencer, I’m so sorry- if I’d have broken up with him…” Your forehead drops to Spencer’s chest, pressing against the fabric of his black tie.
Those words catch him so off guard that he falters, and then frowns.
“None of this is in any way your fault.” Spencer states bluntly.
“If I’d broken up with him already, he wouldn’t have been here, wouldn’t have said those things in front of y- Spencer!” You cut yourself off when your reminder of what your ex had said has Spencer trying to move past you to go back outside and start right where he left off, having no choice but to grab his arm in an effort to stop him.
Realistically, you are not strong enough to hold Spencer in place. If he wanted to, he could push past you easily, but your hand on him could disarm a nuclear bomb if he was its power source.
“Don’t. Please. Stay.” You plead.
Like you ever have to ask.
Spencer settles back against the counter, one of his cold, bloody hands lifting to cup the back of your head, tilting your forehead back to his chest hold you there.
“By the same token, I could have prevented this, had I said what’s been unsaid.” Spencer murmurs into your hair.
“That’s way less fair than the point I made.” You remark, which has him smirking against the top of your head.
“Don’t get smart with me when I’m running on adrenaline.” Spencer warns playfully.
“Don’t get flirty when you just beat a guy to a pulp for disrespecting me.” You counter, causing him to scoff quietly.
“That reminds me, I must amend a previous statement.” Spencer says, and you can’t resist tilting your head back to look up at him, his hands immediately shaking free of their icepacks to cup your cheeks.
“Mhmm?” You press.
“I said all it would take for me to clock him would be him making you cry, this has proven to be incorrect. Based on my actions tonight, I can safely say if he made you cry, I would kill him.” Spencer speaks with a tone so soft you’d think he was complimenting you, his thumbs caressing your cheeks so tenderly while he threatens your ex’s very life.
“Wow. Big words for a man who hasn’t even taken me out on a first date.” You smirk.
“Moving a little fast, aren’t we, sunshine?” Spencer quips teasingly, his own smirk forming.
“A year of tiptoeing around each other while I was in a relationship is only moving a little fast by the standards of the romance novels you read, Doc.” You joke.
“Touché.” Spencer laughs fondly down at you. “Does this mean I can finally attempt to court you, fair lady?”
Butterflies that he singlehandedly commands, fly free in your stomach.
“I’d say so.” You answer softly, and Spencer breathes the deepest sigh of relief.
He leans down to rest his forehead against yours, ever so gently bumping his nose to yours in the most tender gesture of affection.
“Can I tell you a secret?” Spencer whispers, his breath fanning your lips.
“Anything.” You murmur.
Spencer smiles at the breathlessness he can already hear in your voice, solely caused by his proximity. Time slows to the most beautiful halt as he leans in, leaving the softest kiss at the corner of your mouth, barely even touching your lips.
“It was me who left a flower on your desk.”
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