#me by post? this was one i actually wanted to hear back from as well now i gotta email them
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honey | bob floyd x reader
Word Count: 13,800 Cross Posted on AO3 Warnings &Â Notes:Â 18+, AFAB!Reader, Succubus!Reader, Virgin!Bob. Shapeshifting, elements of magic, blood, parties, first-time blow jobs, cunnilingus, first-time sex, virginity loss, vague plot twists despite the severe lack of an actual plot. This was a crack warmup that just became...this Brief Summary: "Rich, hot, and a virgin. What's wrong with you?" Or, Bob's coworkers jokingly summon you, a succubus, to take his virginity, but everyone gets a lot more than they bargained for. You included.
Well...
This is new.
"It wasn't me! I promise!"Â
"Well, someone drew my symbol on the floor." Folding your arms in front of your chest, huffing. All that for this?
"It wasn'tâ" He freezes, teeth flashing through an awkwardly stretched smile. "I...my coworkers were playing a prank on me."
Lovely that you learn that after you've planted your ass in his lap. "So you don't want me here, pretty boy?"
Because he is cute. Floppy brown hair and the biggest blue eyes you've ever seen, hidden behind a pair of wireframes that perch on his freckled nose. His partner must be an incredibly happy person, having someone like this walking around their house.Â
"N-no!" He blurts. His face falls. "âwait! Well-well, I...uh, I...I don't wanna be rude, but I mean I-I..." Your index finger presses against his thin lips, silencing whatever he had left to say. If history is anything to go off of, you wouldn't have been able to understand what he's trying to tell you anyway.
But...well, you are stuck here, so you'd might as well ask. "What's your name?"Â
"Ro-Ro..." A short pink tongue darts out, wetting his lips. "Robert."Â
"Well, Bobby," you can't help but say it, a little too eager to watch the blush in his cheeks deepen. "It's a shame that you didn't. You're pretty cute."
Even in the dark, you can see how his face reddens, adam's apple bobbing as he swallows his words.Â
"But! I'll be on my way," lifting yourself from his lap before you can become too comfortable there. Something bumps into your ass; you think that may have been his cheek. "Do me a favor and tell your partner that they're a very lucky person, would ya?"
"Partner?" Squeaking.
Your feet freeze. There's no way he's... "Don't tell me you're single."
But Bob nods his head like it's the simplest confession he's ever made. "That's half of the reason why they went through the trouble of making you come here." He pauses, his left eye twitching as a thought visibly crosses his mind. Whatever it is, it's got him looking away from you entirely. "Said I'm...said I'm too old to be aâ"Â
"Wait, wait, wait." Holding your hands up. Need a moment of silence to understand what the hell you're hearing. "Your coworkers summoned a succubus to take your virginity?"
His lips flatten into a line. "...yeah."
"Well, that's shitty!" That's a new one. Finally, something to top the time a sorority summoned you to party with them for...some reason. Bragging rights, you think. "Do they pay you enough to put up with those assholes?"
It's been a minute since you've run into someone so nonchalant about a demonic creature standing in the room with them, never mind hold a casual conversation with you.Â
But here Bob is, shrugging his shoulders like this happens to him every Tuesday. "You learn to deal with it when you're paid a hundred sixty-thousand a year."
"So you're a rich virgin." It shoots out of your mouth before you realize the thought crossed your mind.
Again, Bob is too calm about this. "I...guess?"
"Rich, hot, and a virgin." Modifying your statement. "What's wrong with you?"
Those blue eyes widen. Blinking rapidly. "Huh?"
"Well, there's gotta be a reason why you don't have a line of people out the door." You say, crouching back down in front of him. Sure wish he'd let you do something about that tent in his pajama pants. "If it's not the looks that reel the ladies in, it's the charm, and if it's not the charm, it's the money. And you've got all three, pretty boy."
It's not supposed to be a serious topic, not as if you're about to go and write an article about his non-existent sex life to publish in the weekly paper. But this guy is actually thinking about it. His brows furrowing as he mulls over his thoughts, mouth parting, only to fall closed once more.Â
"I think it has something to do with the nature of my job and my severe inability to start a conversation," he concludes, with a little nod of his head.Â
You wonder if you could put him in your pocket and take him home.
Now that you think about it, you're pretty sure you're standing on some a ship right now. Is he some kind of cruise captain? "That'll do it."Â
Bob doesn't have anything else to say about that, awkwardly closing his legs before you can get another look at what he might be packing under there. Whether or not he caught you staring or he's just become aware of his current state, you're not sure. It's such a shame that someone else summoned you on his behalf; he would have been a fun one to toy with.
Hm.
"Do you wanna fuck with your coworkers before I leave?"
He blinks at you. Not a thought behind those eyes. "Huh?"
"Well, you've already got me here," an excited lilt in your voice, maybe a bit too eager to present your totally thought-out idea. "Believe it or not, I double as a poltergeist on Tuesdays and Thursdays."Â
Or whenever you feel like, really.Â
"That would be mean," shaking his head. What is he, some kind of saint?Â
"They just summoned a demon to fuck you in a locked room," deadpan.Â
For a moment, it's quiet, and then.
"...that's a fair point."
As it turns out, Bob lives on the world's shittiest cruise ship. A ship without a pool, a dimly lit cafeteria without a single Michelin-trained chef in sight. Long, narrow, colorless hallways. There aren't even individual rooms, just even smaller hallways stacked high with bunk beds. On the thinnest mattress you've ever seen, might you add.Â
Worst of all, rather than allowing personal clothes, everyone is dressed in clothing provided by the ship. Whoever picked the color schemes needs to be introduced to a fucking color wheel.Â
How do you trick the head of the United States Navy into summoning you? You have a few choice words about this place.Â
You appear in the mirror first. A little flash of your face, and then you're gone, nothing but a figment of the imagination. Again, later in the night, those two coworkers of Bobs have convinced themselves that they had made it up.Â
The plan was to end it there and to come back in the morning to turn it up a notch, but there's a chair sitting in the bunk room that's just so comfortable. So what if you lounge there all night, poking through a book Bob had on the foot of his bed? The room just dark enough to allow them to see your vague silhouette, air so quiet that every turn of the page seems to echo.
Not one of them sleeps, but Bob does, snoring away in his bottom bunk. He sounds like a little cat, tiny little noises that sound closer to grumbles than snores.
When morning comes, you show up in their showers right as they turn around. You appear on opposite ends of crowded rooms and in high-stakes meetings with fancy-dressed higher-ups just to get a reaction. Tapping on their shoulders when they think they're alone. Somehow, you managed to get away with swapping the labels on the mustard and hot mustard. Effectively ruined several breakfasts in one fell swoop.
One, this loud-mouthed blonde you forgot the name of, wakes up to you sitting on his chest. Who would have thought that he had such a shrill scream?
But you might take it too far when you chase them down the narrow hallwayâfive grown adults shrieking like they're in a haunted scream park and not a Navy ship.Â
Or at least, you thought you did.Â
"I can't-I can't believe you justâ!" Bob's laughing into his palms, keeling over with it. His mouth is moving, but he can't get anything out. Bubbly, loud giggles that travel around the tiny little fan room, bouncing off every corner.Â
"And here you said it would be too mean," gently mocking, unable to fight off the smile that works its way across your face. So big you can hardly speak through it.Â
That should technically be the last of your encounters.Â
You should be heading back through your portal and off on another job, but Bob doesn't utter the proper incantations to make that happen. He starts to, but then you ask about his book, and he squeaks at you for spoiling the ending, and then you begin to second guess if you're recalling it correctly.
Then the conversation starts, and suddenly, you've been bound to him for three weeks.Â
If it were anyone else, you'd complain and force the portal to open by yourself. There's more than one way to break the spell and go back to where you came from, but there's something about Bob Floyd that keeps you lingering. Maybe it's the way he blushes when you get too close. Maybe it's because you can't remember a time when someone kept you around solely because they liked talking to you.
Maybe it's because he has a fantastic taste in literature. Anything he's reading somehow becomes glued to your hands, unable to be put down until you've reached the final page.
"I can't believe nobody has gotten bold enough to comment on the strange figure reading a book in the corner every night," you giggle, nothing but a misty haze hovering over his head.Â
His lips curl into a smile, toothpaste spilling over as he fights not to bite his toothbrush. "I think they're afraid of another hallway incident."
"Are you afraid of another hallway incident?" Appearing in the mirror, if only to get your message across.
"Nah."Â
If you had known that the Admiral would be the final person you would get to scare before Bob left the ship, then you probably would have gone all out on it. But at the moment, all you're thinking about is how unfair and rude it was to pin Bob for the mistakes that his pilot made up in the air. The guy can't even fly a jet. How is it his fault that the pilot confused their lefts and rights?
So you show up in the mirror, jump on him, and spiral about the room in a foggy haze before rustling down the hallway in such a storm that it creates a draft. There seems to be a growing trend with men having high-pitched screams on this boat.
If Bob ever catches wind of the incident, he never brings it up.
Hell, maybe he thinks he's left you behind because he sure is surprised to turn around and find you sitting on his kitchen counter one morning.
"Did ya forget about me?"
"Please." Clenching at his heart. "Knock first."
Wordless, you tap your knuckles against the cool marble.Â
Knock.Â
Knock.Â
Knock.
Those pretty blue eyes roll, their color a little more vivid now that he's wearing that deep blue button-down, the sleeves pulled back just enough to reveal the thick muscle of his forearms. They're still swollen from his workout; you wonder if he knows you were watching.
"Got a hot date tonight?" Kicking your foot at him, brushing against his slacks. The last thing you're expecting is for his hand to wrap around your ankle, lightly squeezing, as if to test out the feeling.Â
"I got invited to a party and can't get out of it," he hums, letting your leg slip free of his grasp. Then, after a moment. "Wanna come?"
"You're inviting a demon to a party?" Slipping off the counter, batting your eyes at him.Â
All it takes is one step forward for him to stumble back, wide-eyed and stuttering. "Is that... am I not supposed to do that? I'm sorry."Â
"Hey, I never said no," your hands find their way to his chest, gently pushingâhis back thumps against the fridge. "What color do you like?"Â
"R-red?" That cute mouth of his wobbles, the slightest hint of facial hair coloring his upper lip. It'll be gone by five, but it's nice to see it for once.Â
Red it is.
You think this party was thrown by the same sorority who invited you up to party with them because this is...not what you were anticipating. Shot glasses, shitty beer, and flashing lights, the thump of the music so heavy that your bones really with it. You don't even know where the speakers are, lost to the swarm of people crammed into this tiny bar.
All of a sudden, your long, sultry dress has shed into a short little number that blends in with the rest of the crowd. You can't see him, but you can feel Bob's eyes jump onto your frame.Â
"How did you do that?" Tilting his head to the side like that will somehow help him find an answer to his question.Â
"Magic, I suppose," there's an actual explanation for it, but you've long since forgotten it. Something about manifestation and energy and a word too big for your tongue to pronounce. "I actually have zero idea how it works."
There's so much going on that you find yourself vanishing for a few minutes. Nothing but a misty haze lingering over Bob's head as one of his buddies shoves a drink into his hand and pushes him down into a cushioned chair. You haven't the slightest clue what kind of golden liquid is swishing around in that cup, but it's got a flavor that has Bob's nose wrinkling.
"Someone's not a drinker," observing aloud, a sudden presence in his lap, your knees caging his hips. Â
"Was it that obvious?" Sheepish, with that little sideways smile of his. Whether that's from admitting to his inability to drink alcohol or from where you've chosen to sit, you're not sure.Â
"Your little nose wrinkle gives you away," your little tap on his nose makes him blink. "You're almost a little too clean-cut for this place."Â
There's nothing special or different that he's done about his appearance, but the aesthetics of the crowd make it look like he's walked into the wrong party. A little bit too put together when you compare his ironed button-down and perfectly gelled hair to the half-drunk faces, trendy, cheap outfits, and that group of shirtless men over in the corner.
At least you have the luxury of changing clothing at the drop of a hat. Otherwise, you would be in the same boat.
"He said it was only gonna be a dozen of us," Bob lifts the glass to his lips once more, his nose twitching at the bitter flavor that greets his tongue. He's trying to hide his reaction, but you can still see the disgust in his eye.
"More like twelve dozen," plucking the glass from his hand, setting it on the little table next to the chair. "You could've convinced me this was a high-end frat party."
Looking around is enough to make you question if 'high-end' was just you being generous because this is looking more like an average party by the second. A myriad of nameless faces lost to the flash of the lights: red, blue, green, purple, yellow, a cycle that never loses its pattern. But even the strain it puts on your eyes isn't enough to distract from the sloppy grinding of bodies against each other, hands in the air, writhing to a beat that definitely does not match the music.Â
Something is starting to press against your inner thigh. An insistent pressure that almost feelsâ
Damn, how long have Bob's cheeks been bright red like that?
"Are you good?" Pressing the back of your hand against his forehead, clammy to the touch. "You're red as a balloon."
"Yep," his voice strained, so tight it may snap at the slightest hint of pressure. And he's looking over at the painting on the wall, one of those uninteresting things with only a few paint splatters to stain the pure white canvas. Not the kind of thing worth staring at so intently.
You shift forward, thumb swiping at the sweat beading at his templeâ
"You sure get hard easily." Teasing. You hadn't even been trying, but that's definitely a heavy bulge pressing into you, straining against the thin fabric of his slacks.Â
A muscle in his jaw flexes, swallowing hard. "Please don't say it out loud."
"I can fix that, you know." Perhaps curling your hand around his jaw is a little bit too bold, but he isn't making any moves to push you away or tell you to stop. "Some say I'm pretty good at that."
"No, no, that's okay," Bob shakes his head, gently dislodging your hand from his face. "I don't wanna make you do that."
"You're not making me do anything," leaning the slightest bit closer, tapping him on the chest with an index finger. "I'm volunteering. There's a difference."
He swallows again.
Someone calls out his name, waving a hand in the air as if to guide attention to himself as he emerges from the crowd, drink in hand, smile so big that it ought to blind someone. You vaguely recall seeing him back on the ship; name starts with an 'f'.
...shame that you don't remember anything more than that.
But Bob is uttering some Navy jargon that you don't have the capacity to keep up with, and your knees are starting to hurt, skin stuck to the cheap leather cushion. It's much easier to turn yourself around, back leaning against his chest, now free to scan over and watch the part of the room you couldn't see before.Â
It's not that you don't feel him pressing into the curve of your ass; you just...well, you kind of forget about it. The moment you lay eyes on the game of beer pong happening behind the pool table, you're invested. Straining your neck to try and get a better look at who is winning, crossing two fingers as a lady in a little white skirt goes up against a guy who looks two beers away from a total blackout.Â
Neither of them are good at it. Far from it, actually, but the girl's friends are cheering her on, and the man has missed the cup thrice now, stumbling over his own two feet. He misses. She scores two. He gets another point while she's trying to catch a ball that has rolled off into her crowd of friends.
You don't realize you've been squirming until Bob's forehead thunks against your back, shoulders rising with his inhale.Â
"Where did your buddy go?" Chirping in the lightest tone you can muster. As if you're blissfully unaware of what's going on.
"Maybe we should get up," entirely evading your question.
It's a worthy idea that goes down the drain within the same minute it's suggested. What you couldn't see from the couch was how big the crowd actually is. It's a swarm that swallows you whole, someone's shoving into your back, and Bob's stumbling into you, and it's all you can do not to explode into a plume of mist.Â
You're only distantly aware of his arm curling around you, cinching you to him as if to anchor you in before the storm can wash you away. Your leg slotting between his is far from intentional. But it happens, and you're nose to nose with him, and the corner of his eye is twitching, and you swear you can hear a dam breaking.
You don't entirely know how you wind up here. Squeezing into this sorry excuse of a bathroom stall, your hands greedily dipping beneath his shirt, chest to chest. Every little meet of your lips has him gasping against you. His tongue tastes like the honey biscuit he was nibbling on earlier, the one that dripped on his shirt and left little white crumbs all over his lap.
You could eat him.
"We shouldn't..." He's whispering. A secret meant for your ears only.
Everything screeches to a halt. "Do you wanna stop?"
Shaking his head. "No."Â
He makes it so damn easy. Legs parted just enough to allow your thigh to slot between them, immediately squeezes down around it the moment he recognizes it's there, drawing you right up intoâ
A shiver wracks through him. So intense that you can feel it.
You don't need to worry about taunting him. He's reacting as if you've already made a remark. Nose scrunching as he tries to steel his face, warding off the softness that once lingered there, taken aback by the sudden pressure between his legs. Such a strong front. Shame that it folds the moment your hand curls against the bulge in his slacks.
"You're bad at this," a teasing lilt in your tone, lazily working your hand against him. No real rhythm or method to it, simply a shifting pressure that you can already feel his hips beginning to follow.Â
"It's been a while," muttered like a confessionâa sin of the past.
Now that has your attention. "You've done this before?"Â
The bathroom door squeals open, the handle cracking against the tile so hard that some of it tears off the wall entirely, shards of ceramic scattering across the floor. A chunk of it rolls under the stall on a one-way track to strike the side of your shoe. You don't recognize the too-loud voices that enter the room, but Bob seems to, eyes rolling for a fraction of a moment.Â
"Something similar...once," hardly audible over whatever the hell is being discussed by the sinks.Â
You'll have to get the full story out of him when there aren't extra ears lurking mere feet away. Right now, though, you're tugging at his zipper, yanking it down as far as it will go, your hand darting through the gap.Â
Good lord.
It's always the quiet ones.
"I'm surprised you can get through security with this thing," there's so much of him that you've got to use your other hand, fumbling to pop open his button.Â
"With what?" Bob's brow furrows. You lightly squeeze the base of him. "...oh."Â
One of the men shouts. Two laughs chime after it in hot pursuit.
There's a considerable weight to him that you hadn't anticipated until just now, his pretty, flushed cock throbbing in your hand. Muscle memory kicks into gear without much thought, gradually gliding up from his base to his tipâruby red, almost angry in appearance, such a sharp contrast to your fingers.
His hips follow your motions, subtle little backs and forths that you nearly miss at first, keen on chasing your touch but too shy to allow himself to do it. Teeth sink into his bottom lip, pressing so hard that they leave an indent behind. Breathing hard through his nose, eyes screwing shut like he's fighting something back.Â
You know what he's doing. Can't let a single noise escape for fear of it reaching the other ears in the room, but there's no way they can. Not with all that racket they're making.Â
It's fifty-fifty if you still remember how to interrupt electricity, your one sure-fire method of making sure nobody can see what you're doing, but there's only one way to find out.Â
Getting on your knees in a bathroom stall might be a new one for you, but here you are, blindly sinking lower and lower. Can't quite see what you're doing, your eyes hopelessly locked on Bob Floyd and his pink cheeks. Hasn't even realized what you're doing yet.
There's probably a good minute or two where you just hover there, waiting for the moment he realizes that you've moved. Eye-level with his cock, lazily thumbing each and every bead of precum across his plush head, a little routine to decorate the loose up-and-down of your hand. But his eyelids remain closed, and you're just so damn impatient.
The greet of your tongue has him jumping up onto his tiptoes. His head smacking into the flimsy stall wall.Â
"What was that?"Â
It's as if the room has morphed into a library. Complete, utter silence. Nothing but the faint breaths of the men gathered outside of the stall, Bob's, and your own. From the gap, you can see a black and yellow shoe taking a step forward. Silently inching closer.
The whites of Bob's eyes are so big that you can hardly see the color that decorates them. Drowned out and lost to a wave of fear that you can feel prickling through his body. If only those stupid yellow shoes would turn around and walk away; you wanted to play this card a little bit longer.Â
The bathroom plunges into darkness.Â
So you do still remember how to do that.
Someone screams. You're not sure who, but it was far too high-pitched to be the man right in front of you. Maybe it was the loser with the yellow shoes. Audibly stomping across the tile floor, shouting at each other as they fight for the door. The hinge squeals. Someone accidentally kicks the corner of it on their way out.Â
And then it swings closed. The room falling quiet as the sliver of light peeking through the gap disappears entirely.Â
Your mouth opens, gently drawing Bob into your mouth. Thicker than what you anticipated, uncomfortably stretching your lips around his head, but it's only a slight inconvenience. You can hardly think about it. Especially not when flicking the tip of your tongue across his slit elicits that sort of noise. Pitchy and drawn out, slipping out of him before he can stop it.
"That'sâ" his palm finds its way to your forehead. Pushes lightly. Jerks away. Lands on the side of your cheek instead. "A lot."Â
You have very different definitions of 'a lot'.
You're actually moving rather slowly, gradually working your way down his length. He's only just beginning to touch the back of your throat, but Bob sucks in a sharp gasp of air as if you've just sprung this on him. You'd complain if he didn't taste so sweet. Just can't help but take him as far as he'll go, the tip of your nose kissing the cold metal of his zipper, throat so full of him that your head spins.Â
He's trying to say something. Little fragments of words that might or might not be your name. Breaking apart the moment they fall into his mouth, shattered pieces raining down upon you and your eager ears.Â
Maybe you're too quick about this. A fraction too eager to draw all the way back, only to fall upon him once more, lazily letting yourself gag around him if only to hear him groan low in his throat and to feel his thighs shudder beneath your palms.Â
"I'mâI'm already, I..." Bobby's panting. Pawing at the side of your face. Doesn't know if he wants to pry you off or push your head back down.Â
You expected this. You knew he would be a little bit quick, but all of a sudden, he's twitching in your mouth, a rope of cum decorating your tongue and...
Honey.
Why does he taste like honey?Â
It feels like a fluke at first. Has you drawing all the way back, sucking gently on his spasming tip, but it doesn't change. Overwhelmingly sweet and thick on your tongue. It doesn't...since when did human men taste like this? Good lord, what took you so long to find one like this?
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Bob's abruptly pulling out of your mouth with a sharp 'pop,' the toilet paper roll audibly spinning as he grabs at it.Â
The overhead light flickers back on. Damn near blinding. You nearly miss the shade of cherry decorating his cheeks.Â
"Has anyone ever told you that you taste like honey?"Â
"You can't be serious."
"No, something's gotta be wrong. I've picked something up somewhere," Bob doesn't seem to realize that he's started pacing again, striding back and forth across the room. "That doesn't...it shouldn't taste like honey!"
Your leg kicks off the edge of the exam table, taping him on the hip as he drifts past. "And what? You think a mystery STD will?"
"Maybe there's one I'm not considering," he stops dead in his tracks, looking you dead in the eye. "You should get tested too."
"Hard to catch a human virus if you aren't human," dragging your foot up the side of his thigh, "maybe it's just a succubus thing."
Bob's hand curls around your ankle, bringing it to rest comfortably against the side of his hip. "Huh?"
"I mean, like...maybe I taste it differently based on how much I like the person?" You're already grasping at straws as it is, but it's so hard to think when Bob is rubbing the back of your ankle like that. Diligent fingers pressing into strained muscle, drawing the tension away with every loose spiral.
"No," shaking his head as if to add emphasis to an already firm word. "I don't...no, that wouldn't make sense."Â
That was your one and only theory, but, well, if he insists. "Alright, honey cum."
"Please, don't."
You're gone by the time the doctor decides to come back. Doesn't have a whole lot to say, but a few weeks later, there's a neatly folded paper on the counter with a whole bunch of negatives on it.Â
Bob catches you looking at them, but he doesn't have anything to say about it. He's more intrigued by your appearance than anything else, brushing the pads of his fingers against one of your horns as he drifts past.
"Have you always had these?" He chirps, on a one-way track back to his coffee maker. His poor heart might stop if he pours himself anymore, but that doesn't seem to be stopping him.
"Technically, yes," it's a lazy reply, but you're not sure what else to say. "I didn't think to hide them today. What is that, your third cup of coffee today?"Â
"Fifth," he corrects, unashamed about finishing off the pot. There's just enough left to fill his mug to the rim and then some. How he doesn't spill it, you'll never know. "Do all demons have horns?"
"Depends on the race, really," shrugging. "Succubi have short, narrow horns with vibrant colors, crossroad demons have horns similar to a Texas Longhorn, fallen angels don't have any at all..." You could keep going, but you would be talking for a long, long time.
You probably shouldn't be lingering around Bob's apartment, invisible to the naked eye as you lounge in the soft red couch and gaze out the window at every rise and fall of the sun. He seems to know that you're still here; hums something that sounds like your name when the cushion sinks beneath your weight.Â
It's a cute apartment, really. A thrifted coffee table and an oversized bookcase that has already run out of room, excess books spilling over onto the shelves that were once reserved for figurines, and clever callbacks to movies.Â
There's a stash of DVDs lurking inside of the TV stand, and in the ottoman, a pair of signed and framed Star Wars posters decorating the hallway. He thinks that he's spread out the anime enough to pass undetected, but you can clearly see the manga lurking in the smaller bookcase in his bedroom. There's a Naruto sticker hiding on the side of the fridge, a Pokemon in the bathroom cabinet, and so far, you have counted four Trigun figurines.Â
Five, if you include the one you just watched him unwrap and place next to his model jet. This one kind of looks like him...
"Are you still in here?" Bob calls out from somewhere on the other side of the apartment. It might be the first time you've heard his voice rise above a mutter since he left the doctor's office.Â
You're not entirely sure where he is. Haven't exactly moved from the couch now that the sun has fallen again, blankly gazing at the distant ocean as if it's a home you once knew like the back of your hand.Â
He appears in the hallway. Fiddling with the edge of his t-shirt, his eyes squinting as he tries to scan the room without his glasses. You're still waiting for him to realize that he left them next to the stove again.
"Come out?" He tries again, ambling forward. "Please?"Â
"Looking to terrorize your boss again?" Dissolving into solidity, the chilly air nipping unpleasantly at your skin. Invisible was better. You couldn't feel the temperature when you didn't have a body.Â
Or...maybe you're feeling the temperature incorrectly because Bob looks like a shrimp mid-boil. Red in the cheeks, so flushed that it crawls down into his neck, and the sliver of chest showing through the collar of his shirt.Â
"Bob?" Tilting your head to the side.Â
"I wanna return the favor." Deadpan.
Blink.
Blink again.
Blink one more time.
You don't follow. "Pardon?"
"I mean, I..." his eyes skip around the room. Bouncing off of the coffee table to the poster behind your head, the miscellaneous figurine shelf, and the refrigerator. "You did something for me, and I...don't...like the idea of it being so one-sided?"
"Bob, I'm a succubus," there's supposed to be an underlying hint there because this is kind of the very reason for your existence, but Bob doesn't seem to pick up on that. Or maybe he does and just doesn't react. "Do you even know how?"
A beat passes.Â
His head shakes. No.
"I'm a quick learner?" Offering it up like he's bartering. You wonder if you can get him to start offering crops and livestock. "Is that...okay?"Â
You're not sure if it's the novelty of the idea or if it's because of that soft, doe-eyed expression he nails you with, but something has you agreeing to it. But just because you're on the same page together doesn't mean you'll be the very next sentence that he reads.Â
You're gone the moment he's in front of you.Â
"Where did youâ"
"But you'll have to catch me first." Reappearing behind him. Walking your fingers up his spine.Â
He turns.Â
You're gone. Drifting behind his back again. Blowing at his nape.Â
"Hey!" He squeals. So shrill and pitchy that it nearly throws you off. Only manage to dissolve into a plume of mist when he reaches for you.Â
Bob is already spinning around. Blocks you from getting to his back again. And there must be some kind of 'tell' of where you are because his eyes follow you every which way. You'd might as well be fully human because this isn't working.Â
You don't know how you get into the kitchen. But you're on one side, and Bob is on the other before you've even become solid. You stumble three steps to the right; he's already there. You go left. But then he goes left. You dart rightâcorner to corner to corner. Shit, you've put yourself in a corner. Either way you have to get past him.Â
"Why are you so damn quick?" Giggling. Your feet slide against the hardwood. Not as fast as him. This will only last so long.
"Did you forget." He jumps left. "I'm in." Right. "The Navy?" Left again.
"I thought that meant you would be good at swimming!" You're slipping. Grabbing at the countertop before you can hit the floor. "Notâthis!"
He breaks the pattern first. Shoots around the corner so quickly that you nearly don't have time to spin back around. His fingertips graze your back as you turn. You're tearing off around the corner. Dissolving bit-by-bit andâ
There's a pressure around your waist, and the room is spinning, and you don't remember when or how your feet left the ground.Â
"Bobby!" You're squealing, throwing your arms around his shoulders before you can slip.Â
It's hard telling when or how things escalate the way that they do. All you remember is the coldness of the floor as he sets you back down, the heat of his arms around you, and the bump of his nose against your cheek. And melting. Fuck, you remember melting into him like snowflakes in July, meeting him halfway, his soft lips melding with yours so easily.Â
You do remember when you fall against the couch. Nothing but ruby red cushions and the lingering pink in Bobby's cheeks, settling between your legs with such ease that you almost wonder if you've done this with him before.Â
Christ, he could probably convince you that you've already had a few nights together.Â
There's no reason why or how he should know that you're sensitive beneath your ear, mouthing at the skin there but never making a move to mottle it with bruises. Respectful. Irritatingly so. Never leaving behind a mark, not even when he bites at the collar of your shirt and grazes the skin that lurks beneath.
He wasn't lying when he said he was a quick learner. Is he sure that he's never done this before? Because he gets your lounge shorts off surprisingly easily. His waist dipping between your thighs, swollen lips finding your lower belly once more, working down, down, down...
"Shit," his tongue has you jolting, entirely caught off guard. "A little sudden there."
It's hard to feel any sort of annoyance when he peeks up at you from beneath his lashes, tongue hanging out of his mouth like a dog. "'m sorry."
Your hand curls into the back of his hair, a fraction longer than it was when his so-called friends summoned you right into his lap. Only takes the slightest pressure for him to dip his head back down, licking a slow stripe against you. He misses your clit on the first try, pulls away a little too soon. But he finds it on the second, visibly perks at your sharp inhale, and retraces his steps until you do it again.
Learning should imply that he doesn't know what he's doing beforehand. You're gonna need to steal his dictionary off the shelf and look up the proper definition because you're pretty sure he was lying.Â
There's no damn reason why he should know how to point his tongue and trace it around your clit, teasing until your hips lift off the mattress. Temporary relief comes in the form of the hum that rumbles out of him, vibrating through your nerves like electricity. He's settling into it now, laying flat on his belly, arms curled around your thighs as ifhe belongs there.
Fuck, and he's working his way down. Pressing lazy, open-mouthed kisses into your dripping pussy, stopping to lap at your entrance before pressing inside. His tongue isn't even all that long, but the wet heat and the tip of his nose pressing against your clit yanks a gasp out of your throat, eyes snapping shut.Â
Your thigh squishes against his cheek, leg looping lazily over his shoulder as if that could somehow possibly bring him closer. Fingers twist in his hair, nails scraping across his scalpâ
"What the hell?" Your own voice sounds foreign. Detached from your body.
Bob lifts his head, and good lord, his lips are glistening. "Hm?"
"What is this little bump on your head?" Tapping your nail against it, uniquely bony compared to the rest of his scalp. Feels like a perfect circle.
"I don't know what they are," nonchalant, already dipping back between your legs, "'ve had 'em since I was born."
You can see them when you push his hair out of the way, little indentations beneath the skin, solid as can be. One on each side, a few inches above his ears. These kind of look like...
No, that's not right.Â
That sweet tongue of his finds you again. Drawing lazy shapes that transform into shock waves on impact, rumbling up your spine and down into your fluttering thighs. Letters. He's drawing letters, and you can hardly decipher what they are, but the voice in the back of your head whispers that he's writing is name into your cunt. Over and over until he's certain that you'll never find pleasure in a name that isn't his.Â
"Bobby, I..."
He hums, hands curling around your hips, pulling you in. Doesn't let go of that same lazy pace that he just set for himself, curling through an 'R' and into an 'O' so intoxicating that you find your own mouth mimicking it, too. You don't mean to cum so soon. You really don't, but your eyes unintentionally lock with his, that tiny smile curling the corners of them, and shitâ
Your back twitches up off the bed. Crying out so sharply that it rips right out of your throat. Your head might just tumble off your shoulders. Floating up into the clouds, heaven-bound. Weightless.Â
The hands on your hips tighten. Anchoring you back down. Bob's burning tongue working you through it like he's done it a hundred times until your body is tensing and jerking away from every little lick.
"Jesus," sucking in a breath, "Christ."Â
Bob lifts his head, swollen lips twisting into a cheesy grin. "Wrong name."Â
"Nerd," tapping him on the nose.
"Demon," biting the inside of your thigh.Â
It's hard telling who sputters into a laugh first. Giggling like school kids as he climbs up the bed, his mouth clumsily finding its way to yours. It's so much easier to hold his face when his glasses aren't in the way; don't have to worry about smudging a lense or accidentally knocking them off his face entirely.Â
If you thought that you were bad, then Bob Floyd is another monster entirely because once he's gotten a taste of you, he can't get enough.Â
Because he's on you again in the morning, kissing at your shoulder and working his way down your naked belly before his final alarm goes off and forces him to start getting ready for work. His sweet tongue working over your clit, chasing down a vastly different zig-zag pattern as he eases a thick, curious finger into you. Lazily searches for a little spot that steals your breath away and has you babbling for another.
In the evening, he's nibbling and kissing at your thighs while you wait for the pizza delivery guy is on his way. Leaves behind sporadic little marks that gradually acquire a delicious tenderness that makes you gasp when you try to cross your legs later.Â
You answer to the sound of your name on an average Tuesday afternoon. An unapproved presence in a top-security Naval building, perched up on the edge of a locker room bench like you belong there. Like you, too, are a pilot with a willingness to perform and just the right amount of crazy flowing through your veins.Â
Bob doesn't utter a word about it, but you know that one of his superiors has chewed him out again because his cheeks are pale as can be, eyes only softening at the sight of you appearing before him. And maybe he's a little bit too eager to fall to his knees, peppering your skin with kisses that make their way to where you crave them the most.Â
Again and again. An addict who seems to need his fix every time he's overwhelmed. It's your purpose, the very thing you were built for, but the invisible string that draws you into him is unlike any other you've been wrapped up in before. An undescribable something-else lurking behind the charm of those wireframes and his warm, dizzying voice. Never asks for anything in return, all too content with eating you alive.
Your favorite might be the night that he pulls a muscle in his shoulder blade. One little misstep in the gym is all it takes for a night and a half of overwhelming soreness, binding him flat on his back, minding his left side. But even the mix of ibuprofen, Tylenol, and a dash of pain isn't enough to keep him grounded.
"I have an idea." It's been forever since you last heard him speak. The last time you recall hearing his voice was last night when he asked you to pass him his toothbrush.
"Uh oh," not in any particular hurry to lift your head from his chest, naked and oh so warm to the touch.Â
"What?" He's trying to act offended, but the attempt dies mid-air. Won't be making a living in acting any time soon, that's for sure.Â
Tapping your finger on his collarbone, overtop a thin white scar you've yet to learn the story of. "Don't 'what'Â me."Â
His laugh sounds like thunder. Deep and rumbling into your ears, a tune you didn't know you craved until just now.Â
A familiar warmth settles against your cheek, diligent fingers tracing the edge of your jaw. "What if I told you I had another idea?"
One of these days, you'll learn to quit being surprised.Â
Today, you're shocked that he asked you to ride his face.Â
Shit, but here you are. Knees precariously resting above his head. Trying your best not to let your thighs clamp down around his face as he dips his tongue between your folds, half-lidded gaze fixated on your expression. You've long since lost count of how many times you've felt this. The soft whisps of his short hair tickling your skin, the way he hums when he hears you gasp.
"You've got," raking your fingers against his scalp, anything to distract from the calculated zig-zag across your clit, "a problem."Â
"Maybe that's what's wrong with me," muffled. His every word rumbling through your core and reaching up into your chest.Â
"Yeah, well..." drinking in a shuddered breath, "you being addicted to eating me out was not on that list."
It's his fault for laughing again. Should have known that the vibration would have twisted into your nerves and sent them firing, thighs impulsively clamping down around his head with no regard for him or breathing.Â
Fuck, it takes a moment to remember how to move them again.Â
"I'm sorry," and you're about to lift yourself up, let him get a full breath of air, but his hands find your hips, anchoring you into place.Â
"'s okay," pausing to lap at your clit, wet and messy, and god, the sound. "I don't mind."
He'd say that if you accidentally suffocated him to death, too.
Your nails drift across his scalp. Dragging just enough to feel the shift of hair beneath your fingertips, disturbing the hardened bump lurking just a few inches above his ear. You know that it's probably because of the swelling, but you swear it feels bigger than it did a few days ago. And maybe it's sensitive too because, for the briefest moment, you catch the whisp of a gasp. A sharp little intake of air punctuating the way he drifts down to toy with your entrance.Â
They're worse the following morning.
He's only just beginning to settle between your legs, diligently kissing down the inside of your thigh, when the brush of your knee sends him reeling. Pawing at the sides of his head. Wincing. Yelping at his own touch.
"Did Iâ"
"No!" He blurts. Pitchy. "I'm sorry, it's, Iâit hurts."
Even the delicate pressure of an ice pack is too much for him to tolerate, hissing like a cat the moment the material touches his skin. You're not entirely sure what to make of them. Dissolving into the air around him for a better view, drifting around his head, twisting every which way as if discovering the perfect angle will reveal the secret.
It doesn't...look infected. Strained is the best descriptor you can come up with. As if something is trying to claw its way out from beneath the skin.Â
"And you said you've had these since you were born?" Musing aloud, resisting the urge to reach out and touch them.
Hands find your waist as you settle into your human shape once more. "That's what I'm told." Then, tilting his head to look up at you, not making any move to get out of his chair. "Why, what did you see?"
"The same thing you're seeing," you can't help but push his hair back, watching the short strands gradually slip free from your fingers. "Must be a really odd birth defect."
He hums, blinking up at you without a word, perhaps not as concerned about his situation as he should be. Not a trace of worry clouding his features, though the corner of his eye twitches when you unintentionally drift over one of the bumps.Â
It's the same kind of gaze that gets you into trouble three nights later.Â
He doesn't seem to realize that he's doing it, drowning you in pools of ocean blue every time he looks your way. You don't understand how you make it through the night. He's just so damn distracting. Tapping his foot against yours beneath the table, legs tangling as a nameless mid-forties man in a fancy suit rambles on about the honor of working in the Navy and things you don't care to follow.Â
You don't know how you get to the hotel bed. Only vaguely aware of the sensation of your feet leaving the ground, thighs clinging to the sharp bone of his hips. One of his hands is on your ass, and the other is smoothing up your back. Presses just hard enough to have you arching, chests bumping together hard enough to break your kiss.
"Bobbyâ"
"I know."
The room collapses into a world of pristine white cloudsâor maybe you've just fallen onto the bed. You can't tell for sure. Can't be bothered to. Not when a familiar pressure appears against your lips, his firm body settling between your legs with a weight you can't possibly ignore.Â
He tastes like the hot chocolate they poured into his cup when he turned down the champagne. Sweet and so warm that you can feel yourself melting, and you must be made of chocolate, too, because he moves as if he's going to eat you alive. Hands rising to cradle your face, settling into a lingering liplock that has you gasping for air.
Your head is spinning. One hand curling around his bicep. The other smoothing up the side of his burning neck. Hardly aware of how your hips lift up from the mattress, but all too aware of him meeting you in the middle. A new pressure forms between your legs. The not-so-subtle bump of a growing bulge against your cunt.Â
Curse the layers of fabric separating you from each other. Can't do anything but meet him halfway. Mewling into his mouth like a cat in heat. Legs curling around his hips. The heels of your ankles digging into his ass, urging him closer, closer, closer.
Something trickles across your fingers. Smearing across his neck.Â
"What is that?" It's sliding down your palm, scurrying past your wrist and beyond. Water? No, where would it have come from...
Bob draws away, an unusual chill filling the space he once occupied. "What is what?"Â
Your hand is crimson.Â
Why is your hand...?
"Oh my god." Reeling back. Hands held high as if that can possibly stop the blood that drips from your fingertips, so fresh that you can still feel the warmth of it.Â
It's everywhere. Staining the fresh sheets, smeared across the back of Bob's neck, pooling at the shoulders of a brand new uniform that will never be the same again. It's on the shell of his ear and in his hair andâ
"Oh my god," you sound like a broken record, but it's all you can say. "Bobby, your head."
Looking back on it, you're thankful Bob booked a room with two beds instead of one.Â
There's no salvaging or rectifying the utter disaster going on in the bed that he claimed as his when you first got here. The sheets and comforter torn clean off, lying in a messy pile, waiting for the front desk to call back and tell you what to do with them. From here, they look perfectly fine, still the same shade of pure white, as if nothing has ever happened.Â
Your attention meanders across the floor, tracing the lines of geometric shapes, following them on their journey between the beds until they disappear beneath the mattress. Bob's foot still hangs off the edge, a smidge too lazy to try and readjust himself now that he's found home here on your chest.
It's almost strange being here. Snuggling on a hotel bed with a man who didn't even summon you wasn't on the job description. Hell, the last time you even set foot in a place like this was probably years before you realized what you were and fully committed to the whole demonic entity thing.Â
"Why don't you ever leave?" Bob's voice rumbles into your collar, a smidge deeper than it was the last time you heard it.Â
"You never said you were satisfied with me," darting from your mouth before you can realize what you're about to say. A script so rehearsed that your tongue needs no instruction to utter it.
The room is quieter than it was before.
Which...is odd because nothing about it has changed. The cheap air conditioner still rattles to its own mechanic tune. You can still hear the girl talking on the phone in the hallway. Through the wall behind your head, the neighbor's television still plays the rerun of what sounds like a football game.Â
Bob's eyes are open. Can feel the flutter of his lashes against the side of your neck. If you didn't know any better, you would mistake it for the dustings of tiny butterfly wings.
But he doesn't say anything.Â
"I'm sorry, I...that may have come out the wrong way."
"'s okay." Says it so quickly that you wonder if he's listened to your apology at all.Â
Antsy, you reach for his hair, fingers coming through the still-damp locks. A little bit fried after two full washes, but it was the necessary sacrifice to get all of that blood out.Â
You've got to crane your neck to see the culprit, but it's still there, in the same state it was the last time you laid eyes on it. Scabbed over. No longer as swollen as it once was, but there's still something solid lurking beneath the surface. You could have sworn you saw a flash of white in there before it had closed up again, but looking at it now, there's nothing.Â
"I think I just like being around you," concluding, after a long moment.Â
'Like'Â may be an understatement, but...
The corner of his mouth is turning upward. You know it is because you can feel it against your chest. "I like being around you, too."
And here you thought you'd figured out what Robert Floyd defines as a party.Â
Bubbling glasses of golden champagne, the same shade of the delicate chandelier sparkling overhead, crystals cascading down like a spiral staircase. Enchanting. Beginning three stories up and only ending mere feet away from where you stand, you could probably touch it if you tried.Â
Such a stark contrast to the midnight peeking through the windows, twinkling city lights of every color in the rainbow drowned out by the blinding white and gold palette you've found yourself in. Unfamiliar faces and dresses worth more than a car fresh off the lot, wrapped up in the whimsical tune of a live orchestra off to your left.
So many things to look at. Luxury desserts and vivid red couches cozied up beside the fire. There's more to be discovered, entire rooms you have yet to venture into, a custom theater, a cocktail bar...yet, your eyes continue to drift to the only familiar thing here.
And his appear to do the same.
Locking from opposite sides of the room, the buzz of the crowd melting into a distant hum, as if you've just plunged into the very crystal oceans that color his irises. The heat of his gaze is the only thing keeping your head above water, burning across every inch of your skin. It's a wonder you don't go up in flames right here and now.
Glass shatters somewhere to your left. A lady yelps. Someone swears. But you can't bring yourself to look to see what just happened. Captured in a never-ending trance as you move about the room, only able to look away for milliseconds at a time.Â
One of Bob's friends are talking to him, mouth moving a mile a minute, but Bob doesn't seem to be listeningâFireball or...something. The name should come to you easier than it does. Bob's told you so many stories of them together, but you fear you've spent too much time lingering on the sound of his voice to actually store and remember the fine details.Â
The music swells.Â
Heads turn toward the melody, and with it, feet begin to move. It's as if one-half of the party has vanished, opening up the floor enough for you to walk without worry of bumping into anyone. You wouldn't even be in this position if filtering through different forms was socially acceptable and not the quickest way to give someone a heart attack.Â
It's like drawing too close to a fire, the flames so bright that you can hardly look at them without being blinded. Except the flames are the open buttons at the very top of his long sleeve, milky white skin peeking through the gap. He's grown a bit since this was fitted, the fabric hugging a little too tightly around his chest, straining already weakened seams. Two of the buttons have already snapped off, unveiling more than he would ever willingly show off.Â
He would catch your staring if he weren't already doing the same damn thing. Knows he's been caught, too, cheeks dusting a cherry red the moment he tears his attention away from the slit in your dress, showing off your upper thigh.Â
But Fanbase is still talking, rambling on about the subplot of a movie that you've yet to see, and you're simply not interested enough to linger any longer than you have to. Gliding past Bobby as if you hadn't just made eye contact with him, your hand trailing up the side of his arm on your way past.Â
The door couldn't come quickly enough, and you disappear through it with nothing more than a wayward glance over your shoulder.
He's still looking at you.Â
It's so much quieter in the hallway, all that noise and music vanishing the moment the door swings shut behind you. You're not sure where you're going; didn't plan this far ahead, but you can already see a floor-to-ceiling window that looks interesting enough. A decorative fountain rests in front of it, the water sparkling with the city lights.
The view is better at night. Still breathtaking during the day, but...god, something about the velvet black and twinkling shades of neon really bring out the charm of a city like this. Though you've still yet to figure out why a Navy event is all the way up here, in the tallest building they could find. One of their own venues would have sufficed; then they wouldn't have had to rent all these hotel rooms.Â
"Your dress looks awful familiar." Maybe Bob is hiding magic powers of his own because there's no way he could have snuck up on you without floating here.
But there he is. Shoulder resting against the wall, arms folded over his chest. The rolled sleeves are struggling with his forearms, fabric so tight that the threads silently scream.Â
"Does it?" Coy. You entirely stole this idea from the front cover of the magazine he had sitting on the kitchen counter.Â
You don't mean to step forward at the same time he does, but you do. Nose to nose in the blink of an eye, so close that your vision goes a little blurry and out of focus.Â
A door slams down the hall.
The invisible string snaps.
Your hands are in his hair, and his are on your waist, and mouths are clattering with all the grace and elegance of a car crash. The back of your leg hits the fountain. Sends the thing jumping as you all but slam into the window. It's a wonder you don't go crashing through it, plummeting through miles upon miles of midnight neons.Â
Because it certainly feels like you did.Â
Head spinning as if you're in a free fall. Fingers twisting in his hair before unspoken forces can peel you away, sloppily falling into tune with the bold dance of his lips. Fuck, it's so much more than what you've spent the past fifteen minutes picturing in your head. He tastes like cola and honey, so dizzyingly sweet that a sugar rush buzzes through your veins.
What is it with you and this human?Â
It's as if you're one half of a magnet, hopelessly bound to him by forces that you can't quite identify. Yielding to the subtle pressure of his hands, allowing him to gather you into his chest as if you aren't close enough as it is. Heaven, Hell, and Earth could collapse right here and now, and it still wouldn't be enough to drive a wedge between you.Â
"And here I thought you weren't the PDA type," that thought was supposed to stay in your head, but it's far too late to do anything about it.
"I think this is a little beyond PDA," Bob's mouth twists into a smile too soon. Teeth smash together with a sound that makes you wince.Â
There are voices down the hallway, familiar, but you don't care to try and identify them. Whoever they are, they don't get a chance to see you here because Bob's taking hold of your wrist, and you're falling into the clumsiest run imaginable. Arms awkwardly tangling together. His boots too new to grip the floor. Giggling to yourselves as you slide to the right, fighting to get around the corner before he can be recognized.Â
You're already crashing into each other again. And again. And again. Stealing kisses as if you need one for every few steps taken. Can't function otherwise. Winding through the hall, no regard for where you're going or if it's even the right direction, barging through a door and racing up the stairs. You trip on one. Bob falls on his ass on another.
It's a damn wonder how you find the correct door.Â
At least, you assume it's the right one because your back all but slams into it; don't even hear the noise that rattles down the empty hall. How are you meant to pay attention to such meaningless things, when a soft pressure appears at your lips? Greedily leaning into it as you all but melt into one another, his breath running ragged.
The key. You need the key.Â
It's somewhere on him, your hands blindly smoothing over his chest, searching for the outline of that thin plastic key card. And so what if you momentarily hook your fingers into the top of his shirt? It could have been hiding there, for all you know.
Bob finds it just before you do. Plucking the hunk of plastic from his front pocket, and you can feel the heat of his arm as he reaches past.
Beep.
Gravity tilts on its head. Falling backward.Â
Toned arms loop around your waist. Force you to remain upright. Pulling you close like there's a risk of you blowing away. Stumbling backward. Through the door. You don't know how your arms got around his neck, but you're not making any move to let go. Clinging to him like it's the only thing you know how to do. Nose bumping into his cheek as you find your way to his mouth once more.Â
One fleeting, accidental brush of his teeth against your lip has electricity bolting up your spine. Shades of gold explode in the depths of your frenzied mind. Fireworks. Tongues tangle for the briefest of seconds. But then he's licking at your bottom lip, and it's parting with a gasp, a little too eager to let him in. Twisting together in a fashion entirely unfamiliar to you, an exquisite dance that has you melting like snow on a summer day.
The mattress greets the backs of your knees, a gentle nudge that has you falling backward without ceremony. He's on top of you within a second, forearms bracing his weight on either side of your head, chests pressing together, andâ
"Mmh."Â Â His legs spasm around your thigh, only to push it up into him again, pressing against the growing tent in his slacks. Heavy.Â
"What was that?" In the lightest tone you can conjure up, rubbing your thigh against him once more.Â
His face flushes red. Eyes darting away like he'll catch on fire if he keeps looking at you, but there's no hiding the way he twitches at your touch. And he knows you've felt it because, somehow, his cheeks get even redder.Â
"What, don't like being teased?"Â Â
"I might die if you keep talking."Â
You'd like to see how true that statement can be. But that's an experiment for another night; you can only take your mind off of the throbbing heat resting against your thigh for so long.Â
Fuck, and it seems he's on the same page. Spit-slicked lips find the corner of your jaw, one of his hands smoothing down your side as he works his way beneath your ear. One kiss after the other, only lingering long enough to lightly suck on the skin there. Teeth scrape against you, and you absolutely shouldn't shudder at such a simple feeling, but it happens anyway.
Just like how you wander to his shirt, perhaps a bit too eager to start fumbling with the buttons. They're just as stubborn as you thought they would be, angrily wedging themselves in the gaps designed for them to fit through. Stupid things. Who ever thought these were a good idea?
Bob reaches past you, his wrist bumping your hand awayâ
Buttons scatter. Rolling across the floor. Bouncing across the bed. One strikes your chin. Another thunks against the headboard.
"I didn't know you had it in you," giggling. Only have a handful of seconds to admire the broad expanse of his pale chest before he's on you again. Picking up right where he left off, somewhere beneath your ear, where you're most sensitive.Â
His hum sounds like it's wrapped around the shape of your name, vibrating up your neck, rattling around in your skull like an earthquake. It's a wonder you don't fall apart. Fingertips biting into his shoulders, squeezing them as tightly as you can. And he just keeps kissing on you. Working down, down, down to your collar, only stopped by the fabric of your dress.
You can make it disappear.
He knows you can make it disappear.
And yet his hands slip behind your back, tugging down the tiny zipper that runs parallel to your spine.Â
Takes the time to ease the soft material off your body, impossibly slow, as if he's afraid of ripping it. Past your hips and over your knees. Folds it in half and sets it off to the side. And for a moment, he pauses. Lips shining with the same light that reflects off his glasses, hardly distracting from the sparkle of his eye.Â
Kisses find the inside of your knee. Working across the joint and delving into the delicate territory of your thigh. It's a tune he's played so many times that you already know where he's going and what thoughts are lurking in the back of his quiet mind. Tempting, but...
The dog tags hanging from his neck are too perfect not to grab. Why he's wearing them, you're not sure, but they reel him back in so damn easily.Â
But Bob freezes the moment you're eye to eye with him, not entirely sure how to tread this newfangled path he's found himself on. And that must be what makes it so easy to push him around. Flipping your positions with a skill you forgot you had, your ass snug in his lap, knees straddling his hips.
The back of his head thunks against the headboard, unnamed shades of red rising to tint his cheeks and the tips of his ears.Â
"You're sure?" He croaks; for a split second, you're on the ship again, meeting for the very first time.Â
"Are you sure?" Countering. The bridge of your nose bumps into his.Â
You don't necessarily remember what happens after that.Â
It all melts into a blur. Starts with you bouncing a button off his bare chest and ends with the sound of his pants hitting the floor next to you. You don't know who got the lube out. It must have been him because you still don't know where it even came from, but it's the sensation of his slick fingers pressing into you that catapults you back into reality.Â
"You remember that I'm a succubus, right?" The intended sarcasm doesn't so much as reach your vocal chords, nothing but a breathy whisper of the obvious.Â
A smile is all that he gives in return. "I know."
It's been too long since the last time you felt this. The pressure of thick fingers slipping into your already drooling cunt, knuckles catching on your entrance as they drag past. Coarse fingertips drag against your walls, crooked, running across a bundle of nerves that he has no business knowing about. Knows he's found it too, the corner of his mouth twitching upward at the sound of your whine.Â
Yeah.Â
It's been too long.Â
That's why you're so sensitive all of a sudden.
It's certainly not because of the heavy cock resting against the swell of your ass. Has nothing to do with the pools of blue that lurk in his eye; you reckon you'd drown in them if you were to fall forward. No, you only feel like that because of the never-ending city view that sits just past his head. Broad and expansive, just like...just like his shoulders...
You don't realize what your hand is doing until you overhear his sharp inhale. His body jerks, shocked by the sudden trace of your fingers running up the underside of his cock.Â
Impatience will be the undoing of both of you. In such a sudden hurry that lube spills onto the bed in your rush to slick him up, and it's only after that he realizes he's forgotten about the condom. Doesn't matter. The damn thing flies out of his hand when he tries ripping it open with his teeth, landing somewhere on the floor.
"Again," lifting your hips, lazily smacking his blunt tip against your cunt, "succubus."
"I'm sorry," he's yet to realize you're merely messing with him. Condom, no condom, you don't care either way. "I don't wanna make a mess of you."
"Maybe I want you to make a mess of me," countering. And it's the last thing you can say before the pressure of his cock shuts you up.Â
If you asked, you're certain he would humbly refer to himself as average, but this is...this is so much better than average. Thicker than usual and wonderfully curved, fitting that a man so intent on pleasing you would also have the perfect cock, too. Stretches you just enough to make your jaw go slack, his fat tip dragging against every little nerve it can find.Â
Bob tilts his head back, his chest rising with a heavy inhale, and that may be a whine that you hear. His lashes flutter, visibly fighting to keep them open as you sink down on him. Inch after inch, and it's been so long since you last felt this full.Â
And maybe they've sucked all of the oxygen from the room because neither of you can seem to catch your breath.Â
"That's..." his eyes drop down, fixating on the sight of him disappearing into you, "shit, that's..."
He doesn't get to finish that thought, and you don't get the chance to bother him about it, entirely distracted by the overwhelming sensation of him bottoming out. Your ass flush with his thighs, so damn full of him that your heart has risen into your throat.Â
You've already found the strength to lift your body again. Bracing your hands on his shoulders, using him for leverage as your hips lift, the city lights seeming to twinkle when he rubs into those soft nerves. Can only manage to raise yourself by an inch or two before collapsing down into him once more.Â
The warmth of Bobby's gaze crawls up your naked body, slow, like he's trying to take his time before he meets your eye. And when he does...
"You still in there?" Winding your arms around his neck. Can't seem to get him close enough.
His tongue darts out to wet his swollen lips, dry from panting, "uhuh."Â
You suppose he's telling the truth because he's present enough to remember how to tilt his head up and catch you with a kissâbreathing hard through your noses. His hands squeezing your hips. Holding them through every rise and fall.Â
Lube squelches between your legs. His cock head driving directly into that bundle of nerves again, your pussy helplessly spasming around him. You fear you're going to shatter into a million pieces if he does that again, but there's no attempt to shift your angle. Chasing that sensation again, crying out as a shock bolts up your spine.Â
"Bobby," it slips out so easily. Riding on the coattails of a gasp.Â
Foreheads knock together. So close that the sight of him goes a little bit fuzzy. Noses bumping when his hips twitch up, snapping into yours so swiftly that it knocks a whimper out of you. Just makes him do it again, and you are not living up to the whole succubus thing by collapsing into his shoulder.Â
"Fuck, I canâ" he grunts, punctuated by the lewd slap of skin against skin, "can feel you clenchin' around me."Â
And you can feel him twitch inside of you. Such a simple feeling that has you getting wetter around him, can only imagine what kind of mess is forming between your bodies right now. You'd look, but it's hard enough pulling yourself back, thighs burning, desperate to work back into the rhythm you just...built up...
Is...that...?
"What's wrong?" Bob has stopped moving at...some point. You don't know when that was. The concept of time passing is a little bit irrelevant right now.
Words don't necessarily come to you. Fleeting chunks of vaguely related sentences that you can't quite stitch together. You don't...that's not...when did...?
The only thing you can think of is to touch one of them.Â
His back jerks off the headboard. Sucking in a gasp. Eyes going wide. But then, twitching at the corners, pretty blue irises rolling back, his cock spasming despite your lack of movement. For a moment, not a sound seems to escape him, but then it's all shattered by a barely muffled whimper.Â
"So that's what's wrong with you." Deadpan.Â
Touching them made him cum. That's... somewhat familiar, actually.Â
Bobby's eyes can barely tear themselves open, fighting against them as he blinks up at you. "What?"Â
You're almost hesitant to touch them again. Two tiny horns, no more than an inch tall, poking out from where those pesky bumps once resided.Â
Horns. Of course. Why did you think you were wrong when you considered that earlier? They're identical to yours! A few inches above the ear, wide at the base and growing narrow as it nears the tip. Jet black for the time being, but they'll develop their color with time.Â
The one upside to being a succubus. Uniquely colored horns.Â
"Not to bring up family while all seven and a half inches of you are inside of me," because you're not sure about how to start this conversation, jumping on the first half-baked plan that comes to mind. "But are you entirely sure your folks are human?"
His head tilts. "Why?"Â
The only thing you can think of is to take a picture. Those two tiny horns poking out like they're part of a cute headband, so ridiculously small in person and even smaller on his phone. As you pass it off to him, you catch yourself wondering if he'll see them at all.Â
"...huh." Is all that he can say.Â
They're far too sensitive for him to touch, not after what mess you just caused, but he tries. Winces the moment his fingertips make contact with the fresh new bone; you can only imagine this is how you reacted the first time your horns made their appearance, too.Â
You wonder if there's anything behind them. You've seen a few variations where a second pair sprouted behind the first, but you can't see anything from this angle. If you just lean a little further to the rightâ
A whimper twists through the air. Pretty blue eyes squeeze shut.
"I'm sorry, Iâ"
"No, no, no, don't," his hands are back on your hips, pulling you back down into his lap before you've even moved an inch, and oh, you can feel his cum beginning to spill out of you. Fuck, there's so...there's so much of it. It'll make a mess of the bed if you're not careful, but you can't move. Not with those big hands anchoring you down.Â
But he's not done talking.Â
"Keep going," he blurts, his chest shuddering with a breath. Horns be damned, those aren't on his mind right now. "Please, I just, I want, I want you toâ"Â
A swivel of your hips shuts him up. His teeth sink into his bottom lip, already too late to stifle the pitchy little noise that sails out of his throat. God, that's a hell of a sound. Combined with the way his half-hard cock twitches in you, it's almost too much to bear. He can hardly handle it himself, squirming, not sure if he wants to push into you or away from you.Â
"There!"Â Stardust twinkles behind your eyes. "Right there. Don't move."
It's as if the room has exploded into a galaxy. Midnight black and the deepest shades of navy, decorated in a rainbow of distant, twinkling stars. You and him and this big, oversized hotel bed. Weightless. Floating round and round, further and further away, until you're lost to the Milky Way itself.Â
The fat tip of his cock drives up into those nerves again. Space nearly swallows you up once more. "Bobby..."
Your eyes must have been closed because you don't remember his head tipping back. Dazed, flushed cheeks, so entirely focused on you that the rest of the world ceases to exist at all. Pitchy whimpers, stumbling off his drooling tongue, overstimulated but making no move to push you off of him.
His lips seal. Hardly manages to muffle his noises, but it's already too quiet for your liking.
One of your hands curls around his cheek. Thumb pressing against his bottom lip, hardly takes any pressure for him to give way, allowing you in. And his poor tongue is right there, practically begging you to pin it down, and who are you to deny such a request?
Heat twists in your belly. Pussy clenching tighter around him. Your motions growing jerky. Sporadic. Sparks of color flash behind your eyelids, growing heavier by the second. And it's so fucking loud in this room. Whimpers. Cries. Blending together so seamlessly that you can't tell who makes what noise. Every motion punctuated by an all-too-loud squelch of cum and lube, fuck, this bed is going to be ruined after this.
"I-I'mâ" Bob whines, tongue flexing beneath your thumb. Eyes glassy, one blink away from tears spilling over the brim.Â
"Close." Don't know if you're finishing his sentence or speaking for yourself.Â
It washes over you with all the strength and violence of a tidal wave. Hips stalling. Head falling back. Cumming on his cock with an unexpected cry, heat racing through your veins, skin prickling, breath hung up in your throat. You think your eyes cross. Can't really figure out how true that is, too busy floating through the cracks in the universe to think about anything but the spasm of his length inside of you.Â
And you're vaguely aware that he's cumming, too, his cries vibrating through your thumb and deep into your bones.Â
"Still in there?" You find yourself asking after a moment.Â
Bob hums and you're only now realizing that his glasses are gone, blinking up at you with unfocused eyes. Where they've gone, you don't know; don't think you could get up and look for them if you tried.Â
All of the strength has left your legs. Thighs trembling as you lift yourself from his lap. And they can only hold you up for so long before you find yourself collapsing next to him, greeted by the significantly cooler sheets.Â
Those horns are still there. All too present as he tries to snuggle down onto a pillow, inconveniently brushing against the fabric. You're both a damn mess. His lower belly glistens in the light, and you can already feel his cum beginning to spill out of you onto the sheets.Â
Sheets that you don't want to change for a cleaner set.Â
But the shower is so far away...and Bob is curling his arm around you. Pulling you closer to him as if the six inches of space between your bodies is too much for him to handle. Your nose bumps into his chin, the slightest hint of stubble growing there.
You should hide his razor and see what happens.
"How do I make them disappear?" Bob's voice cracks in the middle, sporadically skyrocketing in pitch. Water might do him good, but...damn, the fridge is by the bathroom.Â
"I'll teach you, eventually," your voice isn't doing much better; you can hardly get it above a whisper. "I wanna see them on you for a little longer first."
His eyes roll, shaking his head all the while. Almost like he expected you to say that. But he doesn't call you out on it, content to tilt his head down and shut you up instead. Swollen lips crashing together, lazily tangling. A small explosion would be less messy, tongues licking into each other's mouths and teeth clacking so hard that your even bones recoil at the sensation.Â
...but there's pressure on your shoulder, and you're rolling onto your back, his comfortable weight settling on top of you. Half hard against your thigh.Â
"Satisfied?" You murmur, though you suppose you already know the answer to that.
His lips curl into a smile. Devilish, even. "No."
You're beginning to think you've swapped roles in this relationship.
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Hello there! My friend introduced me to the Daiyu/Baoyu theory recently and I repaid them by immediately becoming crazy about Soda Hong Lu. Have you looked at Soda Hong Lu in the lens of this theory? Because half joking about this:
1. It is the only EGO that I can recall that features a transformation type sequence
2. In the corrosion, two shrimps attempt to check on the hallucinating Hong Lu/Body; he destroys them in the frenzy
3. It is an EGO that Hong Lu strangely has no Identities for in regards to archetype, Poise, and is one of the EGO for which Hong Lu has a dull eye. (Next Walpur might outdate this one but still squinting at it)
4. It is an Envy EGO, the sin associated with. Yknow.
5. In the pull animation, a shrimp is inexplicably focused on, crying from the same side Hong Lu's jade eye is on.
Idk if this is totally out of the ballpark here, but I'm seeing Soda as an EGO that represents Daiyu being dragged onto the 'boat', that being the family, as Baoyu guiltily observes, barely keeping it together under the idea that the 'boat' is the "better life" as seen on the log for Wellcheers in LCorp. They want to be able to pretend that the transformation is something that'll bring them fortune, just another process in the façade, but as the corrosion shows, one slip will doom them into inconsolable panic. It is an EGO that demands you provide to the group, but it is hanging by a thread. Do you see my logic. Shrimp Jia Family.
So, I'm gonna put it this way.
The things you pointed out about Soda? Huge. Like, they do definitely point towards something and I have my own interpretation of them to share.
Your interpretation of the EGO... I feel like it misses the mark a bit, but that's okay, because it very much can still be about the Two in One Daiyu Baoyu of it all in a way, thanks to the things you pointed out.
Let me explain.
Soda, both for Ryoshu and Hong Lu, is symbolic for their escapism, while also having some major themes of Reality/Fiction.
To briefly show what I mean by explaining Ryoshu's Soda - her form of escapism is that of indulging in the cruel Reality. Note how her Soda focuses on the Wellcheers drink itself - she uses the soda itself to attack, and in the corrosion she turns into the soda as well. Her EGO focuses on the cruel Reality that Wellcheers is a soda company that only cares about people consuming their product, she literally forces her target to drink it in her Awakening animation. Her Corrosion then focuses on the Fictionalization of that Reality, on the rumors that the soda can lead you to wake up on a ship in the middle of an ocean.
This isn't a Ryoshu post though, so if any Ryoshu scholars want to add onto this with their own interpretation of how that connects to Ryoshu's art and how she wishes to reflect reality in all its cruelty, be my guests.
Now, back to Hong Lu's Soda - for him, escapism is the reverse. He indulges in Fiction, his EGO reflecting the life shown in hypothetical Wellcheers' advertisements, happily fishing for shrimp among prawn on a ship in the middle of an ocean, surrounded by seagulls. Then, his Corrosion is the Realization of that Fiction, of what it would be like to actually live on a ship like that, having to hear seagulls scream and run away from you.
And this is where the details you pointed out come in. Because they made me realize something.
The 'Fiction' being symbolized by Soda? It's Hong Lu's current life as 'Hong Lu'.
Here's the thing about the Daiyu Baoyu theory - one of its many parts is that Hong Lu as a person does not exist. 'Hong Lu' is a fake persona. He's not a real person with an actual history, it's a character made up and played by Baoyu to cope with being forced to override Daiyu.
After all, it's not until after Canto 4, where Hong Lu becomes aware of Yi Sang's attempts of calling for help, that he starts actually saying concerning things. Until then he's tried his fucking hardest to make it seem like his homelife is as uneventful as a sheltered rich kid's homelife could be, with the anecdotes only getting more and more actually fucked up when it became clear his turn drew closer. Perhaps because that's what Hong Lu as an act was originally supposed to be - a rich kid like Baoyu but without his baggage, without his trauma. Until he started getting desperate and realizing that he too needs help, but couldn't ask directly without revealing he'd been lying this whole time, so instead he's sprinkling in more and more concerning things hoping Someone Will Get The Hint.
That little tangent aside, I believe this is what the magical girl transformation in the Awakening is meant to symbolize - Baoyu indulging in the Fiction of his new made up persona that is Hong Lu. After all, if you think about it, isn't it a common trope in magical girl shows for the girls to use pseudonyms and keep their true identities secret while transformed? Isn't that exactly what Baoyu is doing while he's acting as Hong Lu?
With that in mind, the prawn that gets focused on in the acquisition animation, the one randomly crying out of the equivalent of Hong Lu's jade eye, could be a little reference to the fact that under the act Baoyu is Fucking Miserable.
And then there's the matter of the ship. If the transformation sequence is a reflection of Baoyu becoming Hong Lu, then what is the ship about?
...It's the bus. The ship is Limbus Company's Bus.
Soda as an E.G.O symbolizes Baoyu's escapism via becoming Hong Lu aboard Limbus Company's Bus, getting carried around to "fish for shrimp" or perhaps hunt for Boughs.
Then there's the Corrosion. The seagulls screaming and crying all around him. The genuine anxiety and panic in his voice (listen to the original file for the voiceline without the effects if you can btw, it's so well acted - you can find it in the Organized Assets drive). The way others try to check up on him and he instead lashes out at them. How the animation seems to purposefully hide the actual enemies being hit so that it seems on first glance like the only things he's attacking are fellow prawn.
Ya'll... this could be another Distortion foreshadowing. Think about it. The realization that his escapist Fiction isn't enough, that the horrible reality he's living in has started to poke through and scream at him and cry at him. And the resulting breakdown causing him to lash out indiscriminately. ...Doesn't that sound like something that could happen with a Distortion?
Alternately, it could simply be a way to show in general what would happen once the act is stripped from Hong Lu. The fear, the panic. The pushing others away. A representation of someone whose escapism is a defense mechanism, and who, upon being stripped of it, cannot handle reality.
So, sorry to say Shrimp Jia Family is likely not the case. Thankfully, we can have the alternative of Shrimp Sinners.
On the other hand, here's a fun semi-related fun fact: the Sin Affinities of the Soda EGOs could in part be references to the two work types you can perform on the Abno to get the grape soda! Gloom representing Repression work, and Envy representing Attachment work. Neat, huh?
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lowk hear me out:
post war, touya is recovering in the hospital, and rei comes and visits reader in jail to learn more about her son since they were dating đ„ș
A Mother's Word
TouyaxF!Reader
ft. Rei Todoroki
You had told the guards no visitors. You knew if anyone were to come see you, it'd just be to laugh in your face.
The war wasn't kind to you, but it was harsher to your boyfriend, Touya. While he was burning alive with his family, you were attempting to subdue heroes far from your love.
It's what All For One insisted upon, so you had to listen.
But you didn't join the League for him. Not even for Touya. The message that Shigaraki was spreading about a world where people who were seen as villains had the same chances as heroes? That was something you wanted, no, needed to believe in. Your family abandoned you when you were younger, and you'd been running along the streets ever since.
You joined the League and found your new family, purpose, and the love of your life.
You just didn't know what it meant, loving Dabi. Because you didn't love him, no, well- maybe you did. But it was Touya, the man he was when it was just you two, alone- that's who you love.
So, imagine your surprise when you discover his own mother had arrived to visit you. You had only heard short stories about Rei, and you weren't entirely sure what to expect when you met her.
The guards approach you, asking if you'd see her. She hid behind them clutching her bag, but the sadness and exhaustion across her face made you feel sympathetic. He had her eyes, after all.
"Okay, just this once," you manage to croak out as you suddenly feel self-concsious. What could she want? Is Touya recovering still? Is Endeavour coming too? He better not, you'd go feral trying to hurt him. Even if Touya didn't want you to, you'd always hate that man for what he did to his family.
"I- I was just visiting Touya in the hospital yesterday" Rei says quietly as she stands in front of the bars caging you in. "He was asking about you."
"Typical Touya, worried more about me than he is about himself. I'm doing fine..." you reply coldly, avoiding eye contact.
"He- he said he wanted me to meet you." Rei placed her hand gently on the metal bars separating you both.
You stop and glance up at her, the way her eyes were pleading for answers made you freeze. "He said that to me too, before, you know-" you respond softly this time.
"Can you... can you tell me about him?" Rei's voice cracks as she asks.
"About him?" You look at her puzzled.
"My son, he was so young when he disappeared that I- what's he like?" Rei questioned, her eyes wide.
"Touya... Touya he's-" You start and choke back the tears that are trying to fall. "He's an idiot. He doesn't think before he jumps into danger because he's not afraid to die... that's how we met actually." You smile fondly as you wipe the small drops of water off your cheeks.
"I was supposed to just do recon for the League, my first solo mission. But it was a trap and the heroes had me cornered. I didn't know what to do- I froze. I was ready to give up. Then Touya just kind of showed up, right in front of me. Didn't even think twice."
Rei hesitantly smiles as she nods, "That sounds a lot like Touya, glad to know he didn't lose that part of him."
"He's protective, that's for sure. Got jealous easily... whenever they'd send me on missions without him he'd find some way to tag along. I think that ever since we met, it was like he felt he had to protect me... like he was afraid to ever lose me" you start to cry and let your head fall into your hands.
"Oh no, I'm so sorry dear. I didn't mean to make you cry," Rei frowns.
"I love him so much... you created a beautiful son- I just miss him so much" you manage to sob out.
Rei nods, wiping her own tears, âwhat else do you love about him?â
âHe was honest with me⊠he told me about you all too, before we even started datingâŠâ
Rei freezes, but continues listening.
âHeâs a great listener. Lets me talk about anything. And god, when you get him started, he never shuts upâŠâ You smile to yourself. âWhat Iâd do to hear his stupid voice againâŠâ
"He's going to be okay... he's recovering..." She smiles reassuringly but with a pang of sadness.
"Can you tell him something for me the next time you see him?" You ask her hopefully. Rei nods in response.
"No goodbyes, I'll see you soon, idiot." you smile and finally lift your head to meet Rei's eyes once more. She smiles and nods.
You didnât think this was how youâd meet your future mother-in-law, but your relationship with Touya had never been predictable anyways.
#bokunokamijirou#mha#bnha#boku no hero academia#anime#manga#my hero academia#dabi x reader#Touya x reader#touya x y/n#touya x you#dabi x you#dabi x y/n#fluff#touya todoroki x reader#todoroki touya#rei todoroki#Rei mha#family things
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Something Something Yeah It's Still Solavellan Hours (Mythal is kind of here, too)
I've seen a few very beautifully articulated posts talking about the conflicted responses players are finding themselves having in regards to the decision by writers* to have Solas' atonement route possible because of his conversation with one of the remaining fragments of Mythal.
(*honestly I hesitate to put the weight of bigger game events on their shoulders because of how much I know bigger players in the company were involved, so when you read 'writers' know I just mean whoever had final say on plot)
I love reading where people are at on this, and having now breathed, re-played the scene, cried, read some more theories, and then played the scene again enough times I think I'm now able to figure out where I'm at.
TLDR: in my humble opinion, the conversation Solas has with Mythal doesn't bring him any actual closure at all. It is only the version of the atonement ending that has Lavellan in which he is actually set upon a road to redemption.
This, like everything else where I lose my mind, will be long. I tried to restrain myself and here we are, unhinged as ever.
I was unhappy at first that Mythal's incredibly brief conversation with Solas where she releases him from her service seemed to be what finally allowed him to make a decision based on his wants and not hers. My concern stemmed mostly from the fact that a lot of us are trying to be active participants in a society that recognizes patterns of abuse and seeks to establish channels through which individuals can pursue healing without the approval, consent, or demise of their abuser.
But the more I look at the scene, the more I wonder what would have happened in a world where Veilguard got just a little more time in development. Could we have gotten a scene that more elegantly conveys the theme that we cannot heal every part of our loved ones, much as we might like to?
In an imperfect world it isn't always up to us how someone finds closure, which really sucks when you'd like to ensure a loved one finds it in a way that preserves their dignity and limits exposure to the individuals who have harmed them.
And while it could be left there, I'd like to actually push back on the idea that Mythal is in any way responsible for "healing" Solas in this moment.
I went on a different tirade a few days ago about how at the end of Inquisition, Mythal says words to Solas that on their surface seem well-intentioned or placating, but they actually just serve to further bind him in guilt and a position of servitude. In Veilguard's finale, she still does not take accountability for exactly how much of a role she played in the pain that Solas, a man others have revered and feared as a god, has gone through as he cowers, actually cowers before her.
Mythal's interaction with Solas conveys exactly two things to him as far as I am concerned (I'm going to botch these quotes but my laptop is dying so please accept some paraphrase as I rush to finish this before I go cry about this analysis to my uncaring dog):
"The terrible things we did, we did together." You are forever tied to me.
"I release you from my service." But what am I releasing you to?
Because up until Lavellan joins the fray here, all I take away from the physical and unwilling emotional cues Solas gives in this scene (he is a master in trickery, for goodness' sake, the thought of so many witnesses seeing him unable to hide behind a mask has to leave him feeling anguished on top of everything else) is that Mythal has once again reminded him of everything he did in her name and telling him that all that's left for him is to go back to the fade prison and, as he as always done, endure the crushing weight of his failures alone.
To me, in my interpretation, the Solas that hears this from Mythal with no Lavellan intervention may choose to willingly step down from his original plan (and yeah, that's gonna do some damage) but he is certainly not free of his past. He's going to be reminded of it every time he turns a corner and finds more blight to try and soothe, and even the moments that he rests will be filled with more manifestations of his regret. He says it himself: where he's going? It's terrible.
Enter Lavellan. Yeah, he couldn't bring himself to listen to her at her first plea (but like damn how many times are we going to have to watch her give a heartfelt speech only for him to be like 'something something beautiful elven rejection'). But I know that you know that our clever icon knows better than to take what Solas says at face value. She tells Rook plainly that he's absolute dogshit at lies of the heart, and she says it with her whole chest.
Lavellan sees the way his shoulders slump (in resignation yes, but you can't convince me there's not a little bit of relief there, too), she hears the agony in the "vhenan" that escapes his lips (which, don't even get me started on the fact that it's been like nine years and he has no hesitation at all calling her his heart, it just spills out of him). It is not the sound of a man delighting in the steps he's about to take. They're certainly not steps he does not dislike that lead to a destination he enjoys.
And then she watches Mythal (who I can't imagine she feels any sort of fondness or respect for) pull some weird nonsense on her love one final time, and she knows it's her moment to shine.
Mythal, I would argue, pushes Solas down one more time, shames him into seeking atonement, into once again being alone.
It is the romanced Lavellan that kneels so that he cannot fail to meet her eyes. It is she who invokes their connection, not to remind him of his failures but to reaffirm his greatest strength: their love and their love alone is inevitable. Not the consequences of his past, not the regret he thinks will consume him as he seeks to mend what has been broken. It has only ever been them.
"There is no fate but the love we share". We are forever tied together.
"There is no fate but the love we share." *I* am releasing you from everything else save for this love.
Put colloquially: get absolutely fucking wrecked, Mythal.
Body language comparison to chase up the dialogue one, anyone? The way Solas shrinks before Mythal as opposed to him walking off into the fade with Lavellan at his side and standing tall, and he does not flinch when she lifts a hand to his shoulder?
Ultimately, Mythal is a part of the atonement endings no matter what. But it is only Lavellan that refuses to let him walk alone. It is only Lavellan that guarantees that his dinan'shiral ends not in a prison of regret, but a place of promise.
Mythal bends Solas until he breaks one last time. Lavellan takes each piece, claims it as hers, and uses them to build the beginnings of a future.
#solavellan#lavellan#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#veilguard spoilers#datv spoilers#solas#solas meta#solavellan meta#solavellan hell#solavellan heaven
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I don't think Gibson gets enough credit for how skillfully he extricated himself from the sodomy allegations. Long post to follow ->
The evangelical mindset is "we are constantly under siege from both invisible powers and our fellow man (and even one's own thoughts), every waking moment is nonstop spiritual battle" so Gibson framing himself as too weak to refuse advances (without spiritual backing, naturally) is a brilliant play for Irving's own anxieties while also putting him in the position to be the shepherd rescuing one of his flock. A direct appeal to the Victorian bourgeois savior narrative, expertly played. He's given Irving a script so familiar and one he's so eager to act out he doesn't for a second question its veracity.
And now we depart to the realm of pure speculation (oh boy my favorite) but I always wonder what exactly Gibson told him, and how much it actually corresponds to what we hear Irving scold Hickey for. I wonder if something got lost in translation (Irving heard what he wanted to hear which is not quite the same as what's actually being said). I think Gibson is perfectly capable of shopping Hickey to save his own skin no question, but that scenario doesn't quite jive with how surprised/concerned he is that Hickey and Irving apparently had a chat about the situation. Surely Gibson didn't think he could say "I was coerced" without some kind of follow-up? It could be a feint, he's just acting to try and keep Hickey from holding a grudge (I think Gibson knows with brutal clarity that you do not want to be on Hickey's shitlist) but his reaction reads to me like he's seeing his fib start to spiral out of control. Of course, one of the grand themes in Terror is people not being as smart as they think they are (or, more charitably, that even well-conceived plans often shipwreck on the shoals of human unpredictability) so it could just be an example of a reasonable plan blowing up on contact with an unreasonable person, as individuals are a universe unto themselves and truly unknowable to each other. Or maybe he really didn't think Irving would do anything, because he asked him to keep it quiet? Maybe that's how it usually goes, everyone agrees to keep it quiet-- sobering thought.
Still, it intrigues me to think about Irving as the wildcard in Gibson's plan, not Hickey-- bringing baggage to it that Gibson didn't include in his calculations. I wonder if Gibson heard the lecture, how many of his own words would he recognize? I can see the shape of a communications breakdown, where a tactful "the temptation was overwhelming, I couldn't resist him" becomes "he used overpowering force" or "I didn't come forward because I was afraid" becomes "he threatened me into silence". Not unreasonable assumptions for Irving to make, honestly, I just think its interesting to play with the idea that they are assumptions and not part of Gibson's ass-saving explanation. Just no accounting for what happens in the pressure-cooker of the evangelical brain!
Obviously the darker read here is that Irving can't understand a messy gay situationship despite spending years at sea is because he is homophobic (while desperately refusing/denying/fighting his own desires) or was himself party to coercion, either towards himself or someone else.
I just think its interesting to think of how it might have played out if Gibson and Hickey been surprised by say, Hodgson instead-- who might have given them a stern "I don't want to catch you two not at work again" but otherwise let the matter slide, or Little, who I can see loading them down with donkeywork but refraining from escalating because doing so means talking to Crozier and Oh God, Please No.
I keep coming back to the question of whether or not Gibson was ready/intending to burn Hickey as badly as his lie makes it seem. While I think he's perfectly capable of it, but it seems like such a risky move when his confession (owning what Irving has no real proof of, I'm more familiar with the early 19th century legal situation on land but the standard of proof for sodomy specifically was actually pretty high) could just as easily backfire on him rather than exonerating them both. We only have Gibson's word that he acted for their mutual benefit, and even if he's telling the truth it seems like stepping on a landmine: no one seems to think Hickey would hang on his accusation, so he's going to still be around after a potential flogging and presumably pissed off. Obviously its a bad situation all around but I am so curious about his own risk/reward accounting. For me, I really enjoy imaging him trying to play master manipulator to Jirv who is absolutley not a player and mostly lets Jesus call the shots. Very funny to me to be so ambitious and skillful and willing to play the Great Game but it all comes to nothing due to human folly. Thesis moment.
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guys iâm really bad at writing actual fics so im gonna start posting snippets from fics i have concepts of plans for but go like this âđïžïżœïżœïżœïżœđïžâ when i try to actually write them so HERES THE FIRST ONE LMAO (payneland, post get together, the monty talk tm - talk of consent and lack thereof, jealous charles rowland)
edwin took a deep breath, steeling himself for what he was about to say. he pressed his fists against one another, lifting his head up to look at his lover who had his legs splayed out in front of himself on their couch. edwin cleared his throat once. âcharles, i did- i think it may be wise to delve into my prior feelings about⊠monty,â he said, treading cautiously. he knew how quickly the mere mention of that name riled his boyfriend up.
âyou donât have to. yâknow, if you donât want to,â charles answered far too quickly, trying for nonchalance, but edwin caught how his shoulders squared off and his fingers tensed. edwin knew that he didnât want to hear it, but he just wanted to be honest with his boyfriend.
âiâd like to tell you, if youâd let me, my dove,â he said, layering a thick layer of saccharine onto the term of endearment and walked over to the couch. charles was much more amenable to listening to him when he brought out the old-fashioned pet names.
a warm smile broke out onto charlesâ face, eyes wrinkled and adoring. he held his hands out, silently asking to be closer to his lover. when edwin sat down beside him, he hauled him up into his lap, sighing at how nicely they fit together. âgo on then, love,â charles said, stroking up and down edwinâs arm. charles was purposeful in the way he held him, making it so that his back would be flush up against charlesâ chest. not only was it nice to bury his face in his hair, but he wouldnât be able to see the inevitable frustration on his face when he began regaling tales of monty.
edwin tried to relax into the touch, but it was still something they were working on, the slackening of his rigid posture. the evident discomfort both boys had about the topic certainly didnât help in this. his head fell to charlesâ shoulder in a matter of moments before he readied himself to speak.
âdo you remember how he and i went on that walk? after the case of the two dead dragons?â edwin asked.
âmmm,â charles hummed in verification. his jaw was already clenched and edwin hadnât even said much of anything yet.
âwell, we ended up at this childrenâs park and we sat on the swings and i had told him that we should stop seeing each other,â edwin explained easily, as if it wasnât even a big deal. seeing each other? charles hadnât known they were ever officially a thing. edwin was still his best friend then, why hadnât he told him? he restrained from huffing and let edwin continue without interruption, keeping his hands busy by stroking his thumbs up and down edwinâs sleeves.
âi told him about myâŠâ edwin trailed off for a moment, inhaling the nonexistent scent that would lie on charlesâ shoulder. the tension released from his body ever so slightly, and his voice was a bit quieter when he spoke again. âfeelings. i told him how much they scared me,â he confessed.
the frustration washed away from charles with edwinâs soft-spoken words, leaving compassion for his lover in their wake. he hated hearing that edwin was scared and that he couldnât protect him. maybe it was foolish as it was already in the past, but it mattered to him.
âbut it seems he misinterpreted me and he⊠kissed me,â edwin says and oh, charles could seemingly feel the heat rising once more. it seemed he could be angry! what a development!
âoh. cool. was it- was it good?â charles asked, heat creeping into his voice. he had tried to hide it, but somehow, the jealousy festered even though he knew that it was him with the boy on his lap and not that crowâs.
âmy love, i know i do not have to tell you that neednât be jealous. i truly only have eyes for you, and i know you are aware of that,â edwin cooed and he used his power over charles like a weapon. he shifted his body so that he could cup charlesâ face with one hand, pressing their lips together. âi adore you, charles. not him.â
he was ever too convincing and he knew it.
âyeah, i know,â charles said, trying for a bit less of a sopping puddle than what came out.
âgood,â edwin smiled still, lips curling up beautifully. he pressed another kiss to the tip of charlesâ nose this time before continuing. âi did not like it, or dislike it, really. i had liked him, at one point, but it was never- it could never possibly be in any way comparable with my affinity for you. it had taken me by surprise, of course, as that was decidedly not my intention in telling him that we should stop seeing each other, but i do not fault him. i know my wording is difficult to understand, on occasion. iâm not angry with him. not for that, at least. it still rather hurts that he betrayed us,â edwin said, his voice smaller toward the end.
âwait, you mean- you were trying to reject him and he kissed you?â charles asked, panic and anger rising and flowing into one another, his core fiery. not only had this birdbrain kissed his boyfriend, but he hadnât even consented? had edwin not been firmly on his lap, heâdâve been all the way back in port townsend now. he may not be good at mirror travel, but the pure, unbridled rage festering within him blinded him to that fact.
âyes, but, listen to me, my love,â edwin said, a small amount of panic in his voice. âhe hadnât done so on purpose. he thought i had meant that i was afraid of making it real. he didnât simply kiss me because i was trying to reject him,â edwin tried to amend, but charles could hardly hear it over the blood rushing in his ears.
âbloody git. iâll pluck all his feathers out,â charles said, now unable to hide his anger and frustration. his fingers tensed as he gripped edwinâs waist, fingers digging into his sides. edwin let out a small gasp.
âcharles, he helped me uncover my feelings for you,â edwin said finally, a plea in his voice.
charles stopped at that, considering it. had it not been for that cunt, edwin would probably never have figured out his feelings for him? he didnât forgive him, not by any means, but he did know just what to say to get edwin to laugh.
he let the tension seep out of his own body, forcing himself to relax. âoh. iâll send him a fruit basket,â charles said plainly, masking any frustration that remained. he was still upset about it, but he was okay enough for him stop worrying about it while edwin was with him. heâd figure out the rest on his own time.
a laugh bubbled up, escaping edwinâs lips. âheâs still in crow form, i believe,â he said, turning to charles with a smile.
charles captured his lips in a chaste kiss, âthen iâll send him a seed basket,â he said against his lips. edwin wrapped his arms around his neck and charles couldnât find it in himself to care any more at that moment. not with the loveliest boy in the world on his lap. kissing him. (and if the sense of possessiveness that edwin returned through their kiss added to a very different sort of heat in his core, that was no oneâs business but charlesâ. and maybe edwinâs. definitely edwinâs.)
#ficlet#payneland#dead boy detectives#dbda#save dead boy detectives#renew dead boy detectives#revive dead boy detectives#save dbda#we will save this show#savedeadboydetectives#edwin payne#charles rowland#monty finch#jealous charles rowland#charles finds out about monty#he is NOT happy#edwin kisses it out of him
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I love LOVE the way that LAES wrote out the Gemini twins, that's high praise from me based on the many posts where I shit on them but with every hater there's secretly a fan so hear me out.
When we were first introduced to them Castor was an ASSHOLE and Pollux was the overly energetic sweetheart that just pulls at people's heartstrings.
Well based on EVERYTHING THE SHOWS HAVE TAUGHT US (if you're actually paying attention) it's to never judge books by their covers.
By the end we see that POLLUX is the real asshole, she thinks that people should just UNDERSTAND HER and that it's dumb and people are annoying or a waste of their time when they aren't immediately understood.
Castor by the end is gentle, soft spoken, and knows to treat people with genuine kindness and sincerity. He holds the people he appreciates so close to his heart that even when they hurt him all he wants is to run back to them and try to see their point of view.
Castor is still strict and Pollux is still bubbly but there was a lot more going on under the surface, have you guys ever noticed how CASTOR was always the one talking seriously to Lunar? Pollux was following along and occasionally adding in hurtful remarks (talking star trials and that nonsense) Castor was ALWAYS the one to make sure that even though Lunar was in trouble or needed to be talked to he knew he was appreciated and cared for, that even though they'd say hurtful things they just wanted him to confront his actions and deal with them appropriately. Pollux just yells and throws in childish quips, which is ironic since her whole thing back during the star trials was to constantly point out how childish Lunar was being (she's a hypocrite) despite most of her arguments coming off as playground marriage arguments.
In any mythology Greek, Roman, etc Gemini is duality. We're never told which is which though, it's why whenever someone brings up Zodiac signs Gemini is an insult to people. Duality can be both good and bad, it's exactly what it is. However duality isn't black and white, it's a spectrum that can change at any moment. We see the way duality shifts and shows itself in the Gemini twins frequently, with mood swings, temperament, and overall how people unravel themselves. Together they are uncaring and do not perceive things as positive or negative without the others input, however apart they're kind and rude, gentle and aggressive.
Gemini is only one when they agree, when they are at peace. Castor loves Lunar, he has and will. It broke his heart to see Lunar as a threat. Pollux saw Lunar as a fun toy to play with until it got old, then she got bored of it and found it's attempts to get her attention annoying. She didn't and doesn't love Lunar, she loved the attention he was giving her, only throwing a fit when the attention was given to someone else.
This, this is duality. It's what the shows were trying to express, however with limited resources it's hard to convey everything in the story. They're recording this with the knowledge they have on how to best convey it without outright saying it and it's so amazing what they're able to do.
Thank you for coming to my tedtalk it's written weird and that's because this is pure raw unfiltered autism license approved thoughts, until next time. Bye bro bros:3
#the lunar and earth show#the sun and moon show#laes gemini#laes castor#laes pollux#laes lunar#i love doing character analysis it reminds me of why i love storylines#i genuinely hate pollux so much but also the way she's written is really cool#castor started off as my least favorite character and he's quickly moving up#character analysis#explodes autistically#astrea rambles#astrea spends way too long yapping just to say that duality exists in laes and it's rlly cool#hi bro bros
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đ summoning all the bada lovers đł
hi sea pookies, please spare me 2 minutes of your precious time to hear me out no this isnât a thirst post đ lately iâve been reminiscing of the times when i got promoted from being a reader to a writer.. the times where the fandom was at its peak of activity and how excited i was to log in and read all the new posts and take a break from my daily routine. i would like to ask all of you reading this to help me bring a new era, one where we can all interact, make friends and support each other. not just us as writers but also you guys as readers. i know it can be scary to reach out sometime, but receiving feedback is so rewarding and keeps us motivated to keep writing. itâs really fascinating how exciting something as little as getting an ask in our inboxes can make our day, how it can push us to create more content knowing someone is reading it, and actually enjoys it. and thatâs the whole reason we do it. unfortunately lots of og writers left due to the fandom dying/ the lack of interactions, as well as some drama. but we also gained many new great writers and fans, so i know we can bring it back to life and make it even better. it would mean a lot to me if we all, readers, writers and also just badaâs fans in general got together and made it happen. i want all of us to feel comfortable reaching out and communicate more, even if just as anons, youâre seen and appreciated. weâre all on the same boat here, no matter where our final destination is.. we can make great memories that we will one day happily look back at. so letâs make this a safe place for everyone. thatâs my christmas wish / goal for our little sea nation. our little getaway from our daily lives, stress and icky realities..
badaâs fandom era 2.0 here we go!!
#bada lee#bada lee x reader#swf2 x reader#bada lee fluff#bada lee smut#bada lee imagine#team bebe x reader#team bebe#bada lee scenario
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Post-CACW Stony: a fic rec list
I've been on a Captain America: Civil War kick lately, and since I know that Steve-friendly CW Stony fic can be hard to find, I've put together a rec list!
I am thoroughly team cap, but these range from being anti-accords to just not getting into the issue, and all are Steve-friendly as long as you can accept a lot little loving Steve-whump.
Atlas by nanasekei (@elcorhamletlive) (Not Rated, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, 11,505 words)
Summary: They don't hear each other.
Eigengrau by vorkosigan (@the-vorkosigan) (Teen And Up Audiences, 16,811 words)
Summary: Tony is captured; he doesn't know by whom, or why. He doesn't know how much time has passed since. What he knows is, he can now hear something in the adjacent cell, and that 'something' sounds a lot like Steve Rogers.
Nights When the Wolves Are Silent, and Only the Moon Howls by Cluegirl, Defiler_Wyrm (@cluegrrl) (Mature, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, 77,612 words)
Note: has a Stucky element too, but the relationship between Steve and Tony is the main focus.
Summary: âCould you drop all that stoic shit and be my freaking-the-hell-out wingman for just like, five seconds here?â Steve wasnât sure he could think of anything he wanted less to do than to freak out about his wounds just then though, so he reached across his chest and gingerly patted Samâs clenched knuckles. âItâll be fine,â he promised, believing it. âSerumâs handled worse.â âYou know, I actually believe you,â Sam allowed after a long second of glaring. âWhich is deeply alarming, considering how much of your connective tissue Iïżœïżœïżœve touched in the last 4 hours. Now you wanna tell me what Russoffâs men did to you that made it look like you got mauled by a bear?â Steve flinched, then breathed the memory down to size. âNot a bear,â he murmured. âWolves.â
More below the cut!
(trust me when i say) i'll get back to you by machi_kun (@machi-kun) (General Audiences, 1,549 words)
Summary: âMe and Rogers are not on speaking terms anymore.â
An Infinite Number Of Monkeys At Typewriters (Or, Steve and Tony Finally Get It Right) by JenTheSweetie (@jenthesweetie) (Mature, 18,864 words)
Summary: Tony blinked up at the face staring down at him. This was impossible. This was definitely 100% not possible, he had not just started giving a good morning handy to - âSteve?â After the events of Civil War, Tony and Steve wake up in bed next to each other in an alternate universe. It goes about as well as you'd expect it to.
And Miles to Go Before I Sleep by Cluegirl (@cluegrrl) (Mature, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, 152,765 words)
Summary: They all made mistakes. They all have regrets. They all have nightmares, suspicions, and questions they'd like to ask. And they all left business behind them that was never quite finished. This is the story of how the Avengers ask those questions, get their answers, and come together like fucking adults to make things right again.
Bring Him Home by seventymilestobabylon (@seventymilestobabylon) (Explicit, 13,769 words)
Summary: Tony misses Steve very badly after the Accords. Some days he deals with it better than other days. (a fic featuring the booty call flip phone, minor kidnappings, and time jumps between chapters because the election has been happening and my brain has been too mush to make a proper plot)
Conjugal Visits by xtricks (Explicit, 4,252 words)
Summary: AU: Steve Rogers gets captured fairly soon after Civil War and sent to the Raft. Tony discovers that trying to appease your enemies doesnât work and ends up a prisoner too.
Down Came the Rain by captainoutoftime (@captain-outoftime) (Explicit, 75,274 words)
Summary: A mission goes badly for Natasha, who is discovered de-aged to three years old. She recognizes no one, but every kid knows Captain America. When Tony grudgingly makes a call, Steve makes good on his promise to answer. Steve has to work together with Tony to take care of a traumatized child and figure out how to turn their itsy bitsy spider back into a Black Widow. Neither of them really want to talk about what happened in Siberia, but living in close quarters, they have to come to some sort of peace - even if it means addressing some feelings they'd rather not admit to having. As they work together to solve the problem of a re-emerging Red Room, Steve uncovers something he never expected to find again: family.
Hating Steve Rogers by nanasekei (@elcorhamletlive) (Not Rated, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, 16,243 words)
Summary: The thing about hating Steve Rogers is that it shouldnât be easy - but it really, really is.
I Have Questions by YourFadedGlory (HisNameWasAce) (@yourfadedglory) (Not Rated, 2,808 words)
Summary: There is only so much that Steve can carry. His legs quiver and his heart aches, he looks skyward, and in a startling moment of clarity he lets the shield go. Gouged and battered, it rings like a bell when it hits the stone floor. He wonders for a split moment if it will weigh on Tony the way it has weighed on him.
The Crying Game by fohatic (@fohatic) (Explicit, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, 36,403 words)
Summary: Steve Rogers stared at the dimly glowing digital screen of the little burner phone, rereading the text message as if it might somehow give away something he missed the first dozen times he scrutinized it. His frown only deepened, though, brows drawing together with consternation as the 88 characters only left him with an even more ponderous sense of uncertainty. If you meant what you wrote, I'll be at the Swissotel Sarajevo, 4/18. Presidential Suite. 9pm. Come alone. ...Nearly a year after Steve and Tony's falloutâand only weeks after press rumors that Tony and Pepper's engagement was inexplicably called offâSteve gets a message on the dedicated burner phone. Despite his instinctive reservations, he's compelled to answer the mysterious call. An approximately canon-compliant story.
the hope that kills you by meidui (@meidui) (Mature, 1,227 words)
Summary: Steve used to go on so much about freedom and choice. If we sign this, we surrender our right to choose. Some of the freedom he loved was big, big enough for him to lay his life down for over and over, and some of the freedom he loved was small, like the wind in his hair when he took his motorcycle out, but now he has to sob and take it when Tony sucks a deep flowering bruise where his prison uniform couldnât possibly cover and whispers in his ear, âWhoâs gonna help you now? Where are you gonna run?â
live for the hope of it all by meidui (@meidui) (Mature, No Archive Warnings Apply, 1,880 words)
Note: This is a sequel to the hope that kills you
Summary: âYou can keep me here, canât you?â Steve asks a little desperately as Tony kneels over him, spreading himself out all the better for Tony to take. He must have really hated his cell on the Raft, Tony thinks before he loses himself in Steveâs body, and for a little while, everything is the same as it has been for the past six months. Itâs only after, in the dark and quiet of his own bedroom with Steve sprawled sleepy and heavy across his chest that Tony realisesâ This is their cell now.
The Phone by AvengersNewB (@avengersnewb) (Mature, 9,039 words)
Summary: Tony hates the flip phone Steve sends him, but he keeps it close at all times, and it never rings until it finally does and the news might help put things into perspective - Captain America : Civil War fix-it. or The phone can't take the place of your smile. [podfic added as chapter 2]
the things we invent when we are scared by nanasekei (@elcorhamletlive) (Not Rated, 18,305 words)
Summary: Steve is trapped in a dream machine, programmed to make him believe he's living his happiest fantasy. Tony goes inside to wake him up, but what he finds is a lot more complicated than he expected.
there's nothing but blue skies by Meatball42 (Mature, Major Character Death, 647 words)
Summary: âThis isnât good,â Steve said grimly.
#marvel fic rec#stony#cacw#steve rogers#tony stark#this list has taken years because searching ao3 for steve-friendly cacw stony#is like sticking your hand in a barrel of loose knives looking for treasure#the ice cold steve takes i have seen guys
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You mentioned Sol & Minerva interacting in the tags of a post and now Iâm curious what you think the dynamic would be like between Sol and your other protagonists
solâs family fled ferelden when they were a kid because of the blight, so they have an extremely weird relationship with the concept of the Hero Of Ferelden and would be a little nervous to meet her in a deeply uncharacteristic way. meanwhile, minerva would recruit sol to the wardens faster than you can blink. oh a world-class darkspawn slayer whoâs, yeah, impulsive, but also fearless, charismatic, and adaptable, and has even thought about joining up because they want out of their current life situation which happens to be a faction minerva has beef with? Hers Now. i actually had them interact in that post in a theoretical situation where sol is pregnant because thatâs the only thing i can think of that would slow her down. legendary minerva viago custody battle letâs go
varric picked sol out partly because they are (in his eyes) keir if he was funny and likeable. (scrappy sword and board human warrior fereldan blight refugee who cares a lot about a sibling figure.) keir would IMMEDIATELY clock this and sigh internally. even today he has to endure whatever the fuck varricâs issue was and now he has to grieve about it too. sol when dealing with keir would probably poke the bear a lot so to speak because theyâre very good at noticing when someone is actually all bark no bite and they would think heâs funny when he gets snappy. they donât respect him and only think of him as varricâs old friend rather than a Great Hero of Thedas or whatever. i think he would find their particular mixture of high energy and pessimistic beliefs irritating. keir loves people who are passionate about things; sol is easily bored, they usually donât want to hear or give lengthy explanations, their mind skips from one thing to the other. he would probably also be the one to notice the real way in which sol is dangerous: not just that theyâre an impulsive live wire, but also the other thing he and they have in common, which is their intensely specific priorities. they would both let the world burn if like 5-10 specific people didnât need it to live on. and he would, rightly or not, consider their set of 5-10 peopleâwell, mostly the central antivan crowsâto lead in more questionable directions than his set
toramar cadash would think of sol as a kid whoâs been through a lot. he sees them and is immediately not happy with varricâs choice; this weight should have landed on the sturdier, more experienced shoulders of someone who could actually handle it and, ideally, not come out broken the other side. and someone who isnât visibly the absolute worst shot at getting solas to hear them out! but he canât change things now so all he can do is show confidence. sol is sharp enough to pick up on that but shrugs it off. one major thing which is continually hysterical to me: sol is andrastian, and used to listen to varric. resulting in the fact that there is a non-zero possibility to them that toram is legitimately andrasteâs herald. because they are also an objectively funny person whose mind somehow moves on quickly from this kind of world-shaking conceptâgot things to do and places to be!âthis doesnât massively affect how they talk to him. but it is present and they do give his opinions more respect than they would most peopleâs. interpersonally toram quite likes sol. theyâre fun and a breath of fresh air; most of the people he talks to these days are just so squeamish about lines of work like the ones they come from. they remind him of sera a little bit and sera was a massive favourite of his. this makes him go back around again to feeling worse about their involvement lmao
#veilguard spoilers#sol de riva#these might be subject to change but feel correct#i had a laugh just recently abt how similar minerva and viago actually are lmao#sol stay away you do not need another one of these#minerva surana#keir hawke#toramar cadash
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What gave you the courage to attempt (and succeed!!!!) writing a book and publishing it? I really want to attempt it myself but Iâm very scared. Seeing you gain your very well deserved success has ignited a spark in me but Iâm worried that fear is holding me back from doing what I love.
Hello!!
The thing is, writing a book and putting it out there? That is SO scary. Like it's really scary! It puts you in a really vulnerable place, and it's totally normal to be scared of doing it.
For me, I've said since I was 7 or 8 that I wanted to be an author. I've been writing for as long as I can remember, and it was the only job I wanted.
But honestly, what made me actually think "huh, I'm good at this, and people might like my writing" was fanfic! I was posting a LOT of fic, and people really liked it, and it gave me the confidence boost I needed to try and actually put my original stuff out there.
Also, and this is key: the reason One Night In Hartswood got published is because I entered a competition looking for queer writers, and the prize was a publishing contract. At that point, Hartswood was nowhere near finished, barely even started, and I had to be gently and lovingly bullied into even entering by @inber. The sudden pressure of there being a deadline was a real kick up the arse, and I'm not sure if Hartswood would have ever seen the light of day without it, because I am very scared and very good at procrastinating.
Once I'd actually finished Hartswood and was waiting to hear if I'd won or not, I'd utterly fallen in love with my boys and at that stage would have gone onto submission with it had I not just because I loved them so much.
So I guess what I'm saying is: be passionate, love the thing you're writing, find people who support you, and if you get a chance (even before you think you're ready) you should fucken go for it
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bad astrology by flower face
#yellowjackets#jackieshauna#ITS DONE OMG ITS FINISHED#what do I do now. with my life (ranking)#also ive decided i am gonna do literary analysis. on all of em#literally i have NO idea if anyone cares. well. i do bc I care and tbh that's enough to me#<- guys look im living so healthy#anyways this was a blast#hope somebody has at least discovered flower face trhu me bc its one of my fav artists#mitos incredible life#mine art tag#also im sorry the like long scenes 3 and 4 arent on beat :/ i love that song but it has so long instrumental stuff and idk what to do there#ALSO!! i had it all planned out like at least half in my docs (like always)#and then in the middle i was like 'omg what if I only show jackie-after-the-argument and shauna-after-jackies-dead'#(excluding the argument and the flashbacks (they used to hear us thru the floor))#which was. restricting. very much#also meaning was changed (originally wanted jackie to have the line 'idc if ure not made for me' but the only scene i could think of was th#ure hungry for and that was the next scene already so.)#anyways this was originally gonna be lottienat before i started with The Shark In Your Water#bc I thiught it fit them SO well. (still do) but now I like have to get away from the jackieshauna thought and then ill do the lottienat#probably#omg also I want everyone (who has read this far. whoever would do that) to know i was running on like 25 screen#recordings and 3 jackieshauna scene packs form yt#that's why. I dknt have that many clips alright im not using like 10 scenes over n over on purpose#gotta go but im gonna make a wrap post thingy once im back slay#no actually I get like average 7 notes (<- that's a lie Idk bc I didnt count) but im proud of myself this is amazing#ive wanted to do smth similiar alr#but it was some album by alec benjamin and a different thing for every song (like a poemâ a painting or a play)#but I lost motivation this is the first thing that i actually pulled though all the way I think#jackieshauna: The Shark In Your Water
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i keep constructing elaborate political speeches in my mind. as if somehow if i could just talk to pvv-voters compellingly enough, explain to all of em why this is moronic on every level, they'd all suddenly find out that they're actually leftists at heart who just heard a few facts wrong
#as if the racism is an accident instead of the driving force#i spent too long looking at twitter replies and there are a lot of people who voted for wilders so obviously a lot of different types too#theres the naive ones who genuinely seem to regard politics as kind of a game thats being played to the sidelines#you cheer for your team but it doesn't ACTUALLY have an effect on reality. So stop complaining! cheer up!#theres the dumb ones who 'just wanted something different' and who thought 'well the Left screwed things up'#- weve had a centrist/right government for over a decade -#'so lets try the right ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ'#and then theres just the unapologetically islamophobic who DEFINITELY are NOT racist~#they jĂșst want all brown people to go back to 'their own' country#and if you call thĂĄt racist! well then! you are protecting the fundamental rights of muslims right to religion so obviously you also suppor#extremist governments in the middle east! and those are also discriminatory! which somehow makes the pvv nĂłt discriminatory even though#they're drawing a direct comparison between themselves and these extremist governments! so there!#... anyways#very very very minor point but this also once again strengthens my resolve to not reblog or dive into every terrible news story from#usamerican politics despite how guilt-trippy posts about them get;#cause the only people on tumblr ive seen reblog aaanything at all about these results are dutch themselves#ik its not like we have a similar influence to the entire usa at all. but neither does random kentucky county elected official number 9 and#i still hear about them all the time#it makes sense for the circles im in dont get me wrong. just annoying.#joos yaps#delete later
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it took me until dt to change rudy's hairstyle, but i ACTUALLY think he would've cut it back in post-stb when he became a reaper. the trope of "character cuts hair to feel more in control of their life" is cliché but REAL. and also the visual of him cutting it with his scythe is fun
#lem text#xivposting#đȘ (oc)#i really like the idea of him doing that & then t.ataru being like WHATTTT DID YOU DO...!! and helping him fix it. <3#i looooove lovelove love reaper rudy he could never main anything else. i tried to play viper for dt but had to change back-#because it didn't feel right FNDJK. MY BOY NEEDS HIS VOIDSENT FRIEND#i remember being super worried that playing rpr would be really immersion-breaking for post-ew; and that i'd have to change it for canon#but the extra lines they added for rpr players made rudy actually fit in the whole time :> <3#anyway i love rudy/rucred post-stb angst/early-shb tension i think it's sooo fun to think about <33.#i've never clearly outlined the rucred development stages here i don't think. but rudy is incredibly incredibly anxious after he learns-#than's been gone for **five years** from his perspective. because rudy considered him his best friend... and then he's like-#there's no WAY he still thinks about me or cares about me or wants to see me again. and he worries about that with uri+shtola-#but th.ancred was closest to him and was summoned two years before them. (AND /I/ WAS WORRIED ABOUT IT AS A PLAYER FJDKSFN)#AND IT'S LIKE. IT'S REALLY FUNNY THAT TH.ANCRED'S MAIN PROBLEM IN SHB IS COLDNESS + LACK OF COMMUNICATION#because he DOES act uncaring around rudy when they reunite; and RUDY wants to TALK about it but than doesn't want to talk to ANYONE#so to RUDY his worst fears are all but confirmed; built upon the insecurity & sense of estrangement he's had with the scions since arr#(which is part of why he becomes so close to raha over shb; since he ends up confiding in him most of the time to avoid the others)#the tension btwn rudy & than lessens when r.yne tells him that th.ancred talks about him often (BECAUSE THAT LINE ALSO DID THAT FOR ME FJK)#and then it takes than's absurd near-death character development moment for them to finally talk (i've written that as a fic hehe :) )#and the moments after mt. gulg/before the tempest are what completely resolve rudy's fears with the group. and thfndjkgr#IT'S NOT *EXPLICITLY* SAID THAT THAN IS THE ONE WHO CARRIES THE WOL DOWN THE MOUNTAIN BUT HE'S PHYSICALLY THE STRONGEST#SO HE WOULD *HAVE* TO BE. AND THAT WOULD ALSO BE INCREDIBLY TOUCHING TO RUDY TO HEAR ABOUT;;;#on th.ancred's side of everything... well. he's liked rudy since post-hw . ZNFK D. and he'd obviously lose touch of those feelings while-#on the first; and i think after their reunion he'd loaaathe himself for somehow still feeling the same way#AND AND LIKE. ru was a machinist when than last saw him... frail ranged dps... i really like imagining how absolutely caught off-guard-#than would be when rudy is suddenly a very intense & skilled melee fighter who's made a contract with a voidsent for power. ehehehe. đłïžâđ#it's so weird to think back on playing early-shb because **i** was so anxious not knowing how rudy's relationships with the scions-#would turn out EHJFKN. <33 AND IT COULDN'T'VE GONE BETTER I LOVE YOU THE TEMPEST + END.WALKER <3 <3 <3#auaua now i really want to ramble about my favorite shb parts again . BUT I WOULD NEVER STOP TALKING. ANOTHER TIMEEEE <3.
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I actually realized i hate work. Won't be putting any effort into this anymore âĄ
#sure whatever#it's funny because when i applied there i really really wanted this job#and it had nothing to do with that one person i got a little overly attached to#and when i started working there it was fine but i think really the only reason i liked it was because of that colleague#and now he's gone there's only annoying things left#also maybe i got too cuddled by him because he's always had my back until now#but i have to try to get things from the design team now and they just straight up ignore me lmao#like. my colleague asked me last week if i could ask them to edit some images which i did and they ignored me for 2 days#then HE sent them a follow up message and surprise surprise the images were there within 30 minutes#now again. he asked me to request some images and then built them into the journal#i request them. i hear nothing back. i send a follow up saying it's kinda important. i get nothing#oh well sorry man. guess you'll have to do that yourself after all (:#(i think it's really nice he's trying to give me so much more responsibility and all but if he's not there to back me up#it's literally not working because Everyone Is Ignoring Me :)))#also two weeks from now I'll be alone in our office because my other colleague who's in the same office as us#has announced she's gonna go share the office with someone else because she's gonna be alone otherwise#lol thanks#also some other shit someone posted in the group chat today which really pissed me off#AND the fact i got ignored AGAIN when i asked for work :) like bitches. i literally just watched netflix on my private laptop#while wiggling the mouse on my work laptop until i got off lmao#i won't go to the office tomorrow either#i was gonna go but i can't do shit there if i get ignored again#at least at home i can do whatever i want when they decide i should just get money for wasting my time âĄ#i might actually just not work tomorrow#I'll probably log in just to see if there's any updates on the images situation but if not I'll fuck right off#fun times#(also maybe just maybe I'm generally a little negative these days. that may play into it. I'm sensing that sweet summertime blues âĄ#((who cares if it's because of my father's death or because of my colleague's going away or because of general existential despair due to#university.... i'm just annoyed) )#void screams
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||. ambition is telling myself i'll finally sit down and write the "deconstructing the Frozen Vault" meta bc man ppl clearly don't understand 2011 era thor at all
#(ask to tag for salt below lol)#(anytime i hear that my boy is a gen//ocida.l maniac i get so confused)#(thor isn't the one who tried to kill an entire race in the first movie orz)#(he in fact only ever stated he wanted to make a statement)#(the statement being âi'm the new king and i'm in charge so back off bc i won't let you be tyrantsâ @ frst giants)#(otherwise known as âi may not be od//i.n but you're not getting any leeway with me to hurt other people don't try itâ)#(all of this post them breaking into the vault and /killing asgardians to do it/ â which he didn't know was staged)#(also: if y'all really think a ten-year-old (figuratively) kid actually know what it means to 'kill them all just like you did')#(i would love for you to go talk to kids who get excited about nerf guns in grade school đ
)#(also imagine thinking a ~10 y/o would wanna do anything besides emulate their father who was a war hero in their eyes at the time)#(and has kept peace for 1000+ years like...he just wanted to be like his dad and he was an overexcited well meaning tiny boy)#(why are we pretending he wasn't)#( ooc . ) â stories that leap from the page .#personals do not reblog.
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