#me being incredibly proud of this part and knowing fully well no one is going to remember it after everything else this chapter Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[miabrown007]

Felonies and Other Love Languages - Chapter 16

Marinette leaps over the stairs and presses the badge to the electric sensor. It lights up in red. A whimper festers at the back of her throat as she tugs on the door. It won’t budge. She presses the badge to the sensor again and again. Red, red, red. A cry breaks out of her, raw and ugly. She shoves the badge across the corridor. The stomping of feet grows louder. Someone calls out for security. Marinette makes a decision. It doesn’t even hurt when she flies through the glass door.

[mobbu-min]

☆ yummy in my tummy ☆

part two

a/n i swear everytime im about to play love and deepspace, the app needs another update. my phone storage can't keep up T0T anyways, i'm not that far in but xavier is my fave. he lowkey reminds me of silver haha. rafayel is a close second tho

includes: all of octavinelle, scarabia + pomefiore

tw mentions of eating disorder

want more? check out part one!

Octavinelle <3

⋆ Perhaps the last dorm that you want to know about your skills. But alas, your heart is vast, so even shady seamen deserves some delicious home cooked meals/treats!

⋆ How about making some extra cash? Is what Azul says after taking a bit. He does mean it. Not only would Monstro Lounge gain some more popularity after news of the Ramshackle Perfect’s home made meals/treats were being served, but he gets to spend time with you without giving his feelings away? A win-win if you asked him. As we all know, Azul does suffer from an eating disorder, as much as he tries to deny it, but somehow your cooking/baking doesn’t upset him at all. If anything, he gets so lost in the flavors that he doesn’t realize that his stomach is full and plate empty. Should he be concerned? Disgusted with himself? Lots of negative emotions begin to swell up, but when he glances at you, fully expecting the worst, he’s met with your proud smile. Happiness practically radiating off your being. And suddenly, Azul doesn’t mind the feeling of a full stomach as long as you look at him like that again.

⋆ Jade finds himself coming to you more often to ask for tips on how to cook mushrooms in different ways. Heck, he even encourages you to come out mushroom hunting with him. He’s fascinated by the way you work, seeing you mix different spices and ingredients together inspires him to do the same. He enjoys getting a glimpse at a third world, your world. It reminds him that the universe is truely a big, fascinating place. He is touched that your first thought was to bring him food, don’t worry he’ll repay the favor.

⋆ Your food is the only thing to get Floyd out of his moods! Once he smells the delicious scent of your meals/sweets, he instantly goes back to being silly and goofy! He will pester the living daylights out of you to make his favorite foods. You will know no peace! Floyd always makes his distaste clear. He’s an honest guy, what can he say? So it’s a big achievement that your food gets the Floyd pass. He will glare at anyone that dares to come near his food. This is his food, not theirs! Floyd’s a good cook himself, so like Jade, if he’s feeling particularly chummy, you might be gifted with his own unique concoction.

Scarabia <3

⋆ Scarabia is known to have the best food in the school! So it was a little jarring when you decided to give them some of your homemade food. But you really have nothing to worry about when it comes to these too.

⋆ You thought you were going to go blind with how bright Kalim's smile was. It truly could rival the sun. Because of the trust between you and Kalim, he devours it within seconds. Practically buzzing in excitement as the flavors touch his tongue. He’s not joking when he says that it’s as good as Jamil’s food. He wants to throw a party where you and Jamil have a cook off! But also just to show off your amazing cooking. You’re going to have to politely tell him that might be too much for you. Or that you only cook for special people! (subtle flirting hehe) And well Kalim is Kalim so it’s like a 50/50 chance that it won’t fly over his head. But in the case that it doesn’t, Kalim gets all warm and flustered. You know how some people get cuteness aggression and just want to squeeze said cuteness, well that’s Kalim. Instantly you're in his arms while he exclaims how much he loves you!

⋆ Jamil gave you the weirdest look, thinking that you wanted something from him. But alas! You did it out of the goodness of your heart. After getting over his initial suspicion, Jamil is incredibly thankful! I get a feeling that between everything that Jamil has to handle, he tends to eat very little most days. Just enough to get him to bedtime. So when you popped out of thin air with food, but not just any food his favorite, Jamil is touched. Though just because he’s touched, that doesn’t mean he won’t critique it! Internally of course, unless you ask. I would like to say that this would lead to cooking dates, but Jamil gives me the impression that he doesn’t like others in the kitchen while he works. Though he’s willing to try it out for you! Omg, if you make him food from the Scalding Sands, he just might tear up (lol, probably not but that’s a funny thought) but he will be incredibly touched!

Pomefiore <3

⋆ A tricky dorm to cook/bake for. A life or death situation! You must satisfy the Queen’s tastes or else you’ll face everlasting sleep! OoooOOoooooOOOoooo

⋆ Your greatest foe, the Queen herself! Does your food satisfy the Queen’s strict diet? ………partially. Listen, Vil holds himself to high regards and keeps a stern eye on his calories and where those calories come from. And while yes, you are going the right path, you also took some side quests on the way. In other words, you were like 74% to getting Vil’s approval. But fear not! For Vil is more than willing to take you under his wing! Though, Vil’s not a chef himself, so he’ll guide you in the ways of his diets. As long as you keep those in mind, Vil finds himself thoroughly enjoying anything you make him. He enjoys foods that are light on the stomach with plenty of nourishment. Vil will oftentimes find himself thinking about your food. His stomach growling in hunger. He appreciates it whenever you show up with homemade snacks. Vil will oftentimes submerge himself in his work, whether that be new roles, schoolwork or guiding his dorm mates, and forget to eat. So knowing that you're always thinking of him and coming to check up on him makes him feel all mushy and gooey inside. Goodness, the effects you have on him.

⋆ C’est délicieux! Anything and everything you give Rook is eaten with fervor. Truly enjoying and savoring every bite! For how could he let anything go to waste? You put your heart and soul into it, it would be wrong not to enjoy it with his own heart and soul. His appetite is never quenched when it comes to your food. He consumes your food with such earnestness that it's hard not to get all flustered. The compliments are never ending when it comes to him. Rook could (and has) write poetry off the delicious taste of your food. Sweet, yet a little off putting. Will jump at any occasion to speak about your food, and by extension you. Eveytime he sees you with a bag or box, Rook is skipping towards you with a little tune to each step.

⋆ Nothing could beat his Meemaw’s apple pie, but Epel supposes that yours come to a close second. Your food is the only thing Vil will turn a blind eye to, which Epel takes as an opportunity to slyly (not really) suggest new recipes for you to try. Honestly, Epel really likes your food! He gets all flustered whenever you pop with food for him. At first he was a little insulted that you made him food, thinking you were insulting his masculinity or something by babying him. But after your very honest words (and a reprimanding from Vil and Leona for making you sad), Epel understands that it was just you trying to show him that you cared for him. I can see Epel going to Jack and asking ‘Is someone giving you food manly?’ and Jack, who happened to overhear Leona telling Ruggie, casually responds with, ‘My mom always makes my dad food, so yeah…” And Epel’s all like, ‘Well damn, if Jack looks like that then his dad must be super macho.’ or something like that. Needless to say, Epel has never hit someone so hard before over food. (rip grim and ace)

[riboism]

man who can’t be moved

》 pairing: j.yh x f!reader

》 genre: angst, smut, some fluff

》 content: college student!reader, college student! yunho, no strings attached, hookups, reader is kind of a player, some mentions of reader’s ex (it didn���t end well),  lots of denial, lots of emotions, big dick yunho, creampie, clit play, angry sex, am i missing anything?

》 wc: 6.4k

》 a/n: thank you to the person who requested this! this got me out of my writers block. I hope you like it :)

♫ playlist: flook- hector gachan, evergreen- omar apollo, frío- omar apollo, broken love- gemini, man who can’t be moved- the script

Yunho stood outside your apartment door, holding onto a box that contained your possessions. He could smell the rosy scent of the shampoo that you left in his shower. He had spent all morning collecting your belongings into this box, proud that he finally made an effort to be rid of you once and for all. But that rosy smell, that same scent that he’d wake up to after you spent the night was making him second guess himself. No, stop it, he said to himself. Just stick to the plan Yunho. 

The plan was simple. Yunho would go to your apartment after work and knock on your door, fully aware that you probably weren’t home. You were most likely at San’s or Yeosang’s place right now, getting shit-faced drunk and having sweaty sex on their beat-up couches, head too fuzzy in bliss to even spare a single thought about him. But he thought he would knock anyway, just as a courtesy. He’d wait for ten seconds, and when you don’t answer, he’d shrug in a “welp, I tried” kind of way before placing the box on your doorstep. He’ll take a deep breath while looking at your door that he knew all too well one last time and then head towards the stairwell exit, with his head held high, showing no intention of turning back.

Yunho was partly to blame for the way things ended, and he knew that. You made yourself very clear in the beginning. ��Listen Yunho, you’re really sweet,” You said after he confessed to you all those months ago at the campus library where you two first met, “But I’m not looking for anything serious. I don’t really do relationships. You get what I mean?”

He knew exactly what you meant. ‘Dating’ was an ancient term. Nobody ‘dated’ anymore. What replaced this archaic social practice were one-night stands, situation-ships, friends with benefits, hookups, etc. No one wanted a ‘serious’ relationship anymore because that meant having to give your mind, body, and soul to someone, and why bother with all that when you can just give them one of the three? 

Even though most of his peers shared the same sentiment as you when it came to relationships, Yunho didn’t agree with it at all. Maybe he was old-fashioned for wanting something more than a quick fuck. Looking back on it now, he regretted not taking the hint. It was evident that you wanted a guy you could fool around with when you were bored, someone who’s emotionally unavailable so you don’t have to worry about attachments and sudden ‘L’ bombs when you’re just trying to get your fix. But Yunho, who was so pathetically infatuated with you at the time, so much so that it blocked away all rational thinking, decided that he’ll be whatever kind of guy you wanted him to be if it meant that he could be with you. The foolish romantic was now part of a no strings attached relationship. 

He felt incredibly stupid for getting involved with you. What did he expect? That after all the mindless sex, you’d fall as hard for him as he did for you, and finally agree to be his girlfriend? He had so much to learn. No strings attached meant no strings attached. That meant less conversation and more action. Less getting to know each other and more getting to know about what was in between your legs. It meant no longing stares, although he was guilty of watching you sleep in his arms from time to time. It also meant being okay with the fact that he was not the only guy you were seeing. And that’s when the fights would ensue.

“Who was that guy?” Yunho demanded, making sure to use his quiet-yelling voice out of respect for the other patrons of the library. He was referring to the pale, blonde-haired guy from the dining hall earlier. He didn’t like how close he was standing next to you. He especially didn’t like it when he leaned in to whisper in your ear, or how you giggled when he placed his hands over your waist and how you rubbed your hands over his flexed muscles. You chewed on your gum, tracing your fingers over the etched golden text on the book spines on the historical fiction shelf. You almost didn’t hear him at first, too preoccupied with finding your next bedtime read. 

“Hmm? Oh, that guy? Just someone I’ve been seeing. Why, you jealous?” 

It was a joke. There was no such thing as ‘jealousy’ in a no strings attached relationship. You smiled up at him, expecting to see him roll his eyes from your playful jab, but instead, he looked away from you. Even with his side profile facing you, you could read the tinge of irritation on his face. You frowned.

“Oh come on Pookie,” You pouted, squeezing his cheeks and turning his head to face you. You chuckled after seeing his lips puckered up like a fish. “Don’t be like that. Come on, I can’t be the only girl you’re seeing, right?” 

He placed his hand on your wrist and pulled you off him. “Whatever.” He moped. He watched as your eyes widened in sudden realization. 

“No…” You gasped dramatically, bringing your hand up to cover your mouth. “I’m the only one you’ve been seeing?” 

He stayed quiet, not understanding why you worded it that way. Was it really a bad thing that you were the only girl on his mind? 

“Oh god, you’re so cute!” You tittered. “I thought with a dick like yours, you’d be very popular. It’s a shame you’re not sharing it. I know a lot of girls who would love to take you out for a spin.” 

“Keep your voice down.” Yunho hissed, looking around to see if anyone heard your distasteful choice of words. Luckily, no one was around at your corner of the library. “And stop talking like that. I don’t like it when you talk about me like that.” 

“It was a compliment!” You defended yourself. Yunho refused to meet your eyes, busying himself with pulling out random books and reading the blurbs on the backside, although he was too upset to even acknowledge what he was reading. You sighed again, feeling a little bad for making him so upset. You’d often forget that Yunho was more sensitive than your other partners and that he needed extra kindness and assurance. You wrapped your arms around his big body and rested your cheek against his back. 

“Okay, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to tease you so much.” He stayed quiet, putting back the book and pulling out another. “Please don’t be mad.” You begged. 

“I’m not mad,” He murmured. “I just thought…I don’t know, I thought I was the only guy you were seeing.” 

“Does it bother you that you’re not?” You questioned, letting go of him. Yunho looked back at you, his chest tightening at your furrowed brows. He worried that he said the wrong thing again. He was new to the no strings attached community, and would often let his possessiveness and sensitivity peek through. 

“No,” He lied. “I just…Forget it.” 

You mulled over his response, trying hard to understand why he was so upset, to begin with. Your silence made Yunho nervous. Everything about you made him nervous. 

Then, your eyes sparked when you finally understood. “Ohh…I get it.” You nodded. 

His shoulders tensed up. “You do?” 

“Yes, and you have nothing to worry about. Out of everyone, you’re my favorite.” You stood on your tippy toes and gave him a quick peck on the cheek, satisfied that you solved the puzzle and were able to calm his nerves. 

Yunho gave you a shy smile. He didn’t want to smile, but he figured it was best to do so, so that you could believe that he was lashing out over the fear of being replaced, and not because he didn’t wish to share you with other guys. 

You continued on. “You worried me for a second. I thought you were one of those guys that don’t like it when a girl has a mind of her own.”

“No,” he chuckled nervously, “No, I don’t mind that at all.” 

“Good,” you chirped, going back to your search. “You wouldn’t believe some of the guys I’ve been with. They get so clingy, and it gets annoying after a while. I’m glad you’re not like that. Other guys…they don’t get it.  We’re young. It’s better we have fun while we can, or else we’ll live to regret it when we’re old and wrinkly and can’t get any.” 

Yunho hummed in agreement, although he didn’t agree with you at all. He thought about his grandparents. They lived in a small apartment just outside of the city. His parents would complain about how small their living space was, and offered to help them move into a more spacious apartment, but his grandparents always refused. “If we move into a bigger apartment, we won’t be able to see each other. This size is perfect,” His grandmother would say, “I turn around and he’s right behind me. It’s how it should be. Anything farther, and we’d miss each other too much.”

It always warmed his heart just how inseparable those two were, even in their old age. He wanted that for himself one day. How wonderful would it be to grow old with the person you love most? 

Later that night, while you were showering, he remained in your bed, thinking about what you said earlier. Was he really your favorite? Did you really like him more than the other guys you were seeing? Or was his dick just bigger than theirs? He tried not to think about that too much and focused on going to sleep.

-

And when it wasn’t him being upset with you, it was you getting annoyed with him. 

“Do you really have to go?” Yunho whined. He was sitting up on his bed, watching you as you shuffled around his room, bending down to pick up the discarded pieces of clothing. 

“I already told San I’d meet up with him later.” You huffed as you shimmied into your jeans. Yunho didn’t like how quickly you were getting dressed. It was as if you were eager to get away from him. 

“San?” He scoffed. “You mean that bartender that kept eye fucking you right in front of me?” 

Yunho remembered San. A lot of the girls from your University frequented that bar on the corner of Main Street, hoping to get served by the handsome devil in all black. He’s seen a lot of the girls write their phone numbers on the twenty-dollar bills they tipped him with. It was ridiculous. Everything about him was ridiculous, from the cheap hair gel he used to slick back his hair, to his sleazy smile, along with his overly tight t-shirts and shiny black leather pants. But he didn’t mind him too much, not until that night when you two went in for a drink, and the so-called ‘handsome devil in all black’ ruthlessly flirted with you when he was clearly sitting right next to you with his hand on your thigh to mark that you were taken. Yunho didn’t know what angered him more. San’s shit-eating grin or the fact that you let him flirt with you in the first place. 

You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, that guy.” You really didn’t like it when he got emotional, and Yunho could sense your discomfort. He immediately regretted what he said and grabbed you by your arm before you could leave, pleading to you with his eyes. 

“I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to upset you. But can’t you just stay a little longer? It’s already so late. I thought you could spend the night. We could rent a movie?” He offered. 

You picked up your jacket and purse, not even bothering to put them on before you left. “Look, I’ll call you okay?” You pressed a quick kiss to his lips and then went out the door before he could protest again. Yunho slumped back against the headboard, the sound of the door slamming behind you echoing in his head. How do you keep letting this happen, Yunho? She comes and goes, that’s what she does. She’s not here to hold hands and watch a fucking movie. She wants to fuck and then move on to the next guy. Seriously, do you have any respect for yourself?

And that’s how the cycle would begin. Yunho would get tired of you and your bullshit, tired of being discarded right after helping you cum, tired of driving himself mad over who you were seeing and what you were doing with him, just tired of being an option. It wasn’t him. He wanted you and your full devotion, and when he finally realized that there was no way you would give that to him, he’d call it off. 

The first few weeks of being free from you would go well. He’d be at peace like he got rid of a bad cold and could finally breathe again. But that small period of relief wouldn’t last very long. Truth was, Yunho wasn’t good at being alone. And soon, he’d miss your touch, your smell, and hearing your laugh. He’d miss the moments he spent with you in the library, like when you two would play footsies under the table during your late-night midterm study sessions, or the times you two would fight for the aux cord in his car, eager to show each other new songs you were obsessing over at the moment. He’d find himself listening to the songs you showed him, but they didn’t sound the same anymore. 

He’d miss hearing you talk about your day or your thoughts about rent control and the current economic crisis. And then he’d miss the nights he spent with you, how your body reacted to his fingertips, the way you’d press your eyes shut when he entered you, and the pretty sounds you let out when you were close to your peak. And then he’d think about that one night you showed up at his apartment, unannounced. You were upset, it was telling from your reddened lips and tear-stained cheeks. You wouldn’t say why you were upset, and after asking a couple of times, Yunho decided to just let leave you be. He then invited you in and let you lead the way to his bed. It started the way any other night started, with you two hungrily ripping each other’s clothing off, but before he could spread your legs, you suddenly pressed your hand to his chest and asked him to stop. “No, not like this…Can we-” You looked away from his piercing gaze, a rush of frustration and confusion coursing through your stomach until you finally spit the words out. “Can we just lay here?”

Yunho looked down at you with sincerity in his eyes, and he wanted to ask you one more time what was wrong. But seeing you so hurt, so tired, so in need of someone to just hold you while you cried, he decided to hold his tongue. He pulled you into his arms without question, letting you wet his chest with your spilled tears. And when he felt goosebumps prickle up on your skin, he covered both your naked bodies with a blanket and held you tighter. You finally fell asleep, your worries being absorbed by Yunho and his warm embrace, and Yunho couldn’t help but feel a little enraptured watching you sleep so peacefully in his arms. He’s had you in every way, in every position, seen every crevice of your beautiful body, but this. This is what he wanted most in the world. This is how he wanted you. And he hoped that by the next morning, that’s how you’d want him too. But when morning came, Yunho woke up alone, with nothing but the faint smell of roses on his pillowcase. When he asked you about it later that day on campus, you suddenly went cold and demanded he never bring it up again.

He thought about that night, your body, those Omar Apollo songs you showed him, the library study sessions, just every single moment that he’s ever spent with you, driving himself mad to the point where the desire for you would be overwhelming and too strong to ignore and he’d ultimately give in and crawl back into bed with you, allowing you to use him as you wanted, feeling again like a dog on your leash. It would feel good for a bit, until those same old feelings resurfaced and he’d call it off once again, repeating the never-ending cycle of your no strings attached relationship.

But this time, things were going to be different. He wasn’t going to continue this cycle. You weren’t good for him, and it was time he let go and move on. That’s why he packed all your stuff and came to drop them off. It was official. There was no going back from this. All he had to do now was stick to the plan. 

Yunho shifted the box to his side and used his free hand to knock on the door. He took a deep breath and counted in his head. 

One. 

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five-

The door swung open, interrupting his counting. You stood at the door frame in nothing but your bathrobe, your wet hair dripping puddles around your feet. Yunho was at a loss for words. This wasn’t part of the plan. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t prepare for this. He didn’t, sorry, couldn’t see you, because it would just make things harder. It was like flaunting a cigarette in front of someone who just quit smoking. He wasn’t strong enough to resist you. He was addicted to you and he worried that he would relapse again. 

“Oh, Yunho.” You acknowledged, crossing your arms over your chest. He held onto the box tighter, feeling himself twitch from the sound of you calling his name. You peered into the box, recognizing the articles of clothing and personal hygiene products. “Is that my stuff?” 

Yunho struggled at first, forgetting for a moment how to speak coherently. “Uh- yes, it is. I came to drop them off. Here.” He blubbered, pushing the box towards you. You took it from his hands, not expecting it to be so heavy. You didn’t realize you left so many things at his place. 

“Oh. Thanks.” 

A silence weighed in between you, both of you looking at each other awkwardly, unsure of what to say next. Right, Yunho thought to himself, there’s nothing left to say. You did your part, now walk right out. 

“Well, I should head back. Goodnight, Y/N.” 

Yunho turned on his heel and made his way out of the long corridor. Part of him didn’t want to reach the end of the hall, but he pushed himself anyway, reminding himself over and over to not look back. As painful as it was, it needed to happen. It was for the best. 

“Wait,” You called after him. 

And just like that, Yunho immediately stopped in his tracks, not hesitating this time to turn around. It almost brought him some relief, like he had been holding his breath for too long, and now you finally gave him permission to exhale. “Yes?” He beamed.

You stepped out from the door frame and into the hall so you were right across from where Yunho stood. “Do you want to come in?”

“What?” He asked, dumbfounded, almost believing that he must have heard you wrong. 

“I mean, your stuff,” You clarified, “I still have some of your stuff in my apartment if you wanted to come in and grab them.” It was kind of pathetic, the way you tripped over your words, but you couldn’t bare saying goodbye just yet. No, you’re not catching feelings, you assured yourself. You just wanted him around you for a little bit longer. Maybe it was selfish of you to keep pulling on his leash like this, but for the moment, you didn’t care. 

“Oh, right. That would be great, actually.” 

-

Yunho knew he would hate himself for letting this happen. All that progress getting chucked out the window on account of his lack of self-control. But how could you blame him? With the way your damp strands curled around your flushed cheeks, the smell of your rosy shampoo that had been seared into his nostrils by now, and the fact that all he had to do was undue your robe to see your beautiful glistening body that was so ready for him to take. It was all so easy. You handed him the apple and all he had to do was take a bite. 

“Fuck, Yunho!” You cried out, grasping his bare back for dear life as he frantically thrust into you. He was angry, angry at himself that he let this happen again, and angry at you for making him so weak. He only put just the tip in, but you could’ve sworn you were seeing stars from the stretch alone. 

“Unbelievable,” He grunted. “Even after the hundred times we fucked, your little pussy still can’t take my cock?”

You’d never seen this side of Yunho. Usually, he was nice and gentle with you, always studying the arch of your brows to see if he was taking things too far or not. It was sweet at first, but sometimes you’d wish he’d just take you and fuck you like an animal. It seemed your wish was finally granted. “P-Please! All of it, I want all of it Yunho, please!” Was all you could muster out. 

He pulled out of you in an instant, and before you could whine, he forcibly flipped you over and pulled you back by your hips until your ass smacked into his pelvis. Yunho kept you down with his hand pressed against the space between your shoulder blades as he lined himself up with your aching center. 

Yunho rubbed himself against your slick folds, occasionally slapping his tip over your swollen clit, making your hips jolt with anticipation. “You want it all? ‘Guess those other guys don’t fill you up as much as you want, huh? Poor thing.” He continued dragging his cock over your folds, your soft whimpers only feeding into his ego. 

Just when he thought you had enough, he guided his cock into your hole, the stretch forcing you to tear up once again. You grasped at your bed sheets and pressed your eyes shut, preparing yourself for the rest of him as your lips coated in salty tears. 

He pushed the rest of him into you with a struggle, his hips stagnant as he waited for you to adjust to his size. “Fuck!” You gasped, your voice cracking as he started up again. Each thrust was deep, calculated, and they didn’t fail to rip a moan out of you. 

His fingers, now coated with your essence, tweaked and twisted at your clit. It was all too much for you, really, the sheer length of him plowing into your walls, the brutal pace he set on account of his anger, along with the way he toyed at your clit. Yunho could sense you were close, having known your body long enough to know when you were about to be sent over the edge. He stopped teasing your bud and instead slipped his fingers past your lips and you readily let him in, swirling your tongue around his digits to clean yourself off him. He grinned to himself, pleased to see that you knew exactly what to do without any instruction. 

Suddenly, he pulled his fingers out from you and cupped your jaw with his large hand, pulling you back until your head was against his chest, keeping your face there so you were forced to look up at him. He peered down at you with his full attention, completely engrossed by just how pretty and sinful you looked in this position. “Stay like that,” He breathed “‘wanna see you when you cum all over my cock.” 

He came first, your orgasm approaching soon after. You babbled incoherently as his cum flooded your walls, forcing your eyes to roll to the back of your head. Yunho was completely enamored with you like this, your parted and swollen lips and your half-lidded eyelids almost making him shoot a second load into you. He disconnected from you and you fell forward onto the bed, catching your breath as you came down from your high. You felt dizzy and sweaty, and your head was so cloudy that you were unable to form a thought that wasn’t already so scrambled. As you relaxed, you felt Yunho’s breath over your hip right before he planted soft kisses on your lower back all the way up to your shoulder. His kisses were sweet and careful, almost like he was making up for being so rough with you. Soon enough, he retired from your shoulder and moved on to the side of your face, brushing his pillowy lips on your temple, to your wet eyes, to your cheek, until you craned your neck back and allowed him to meet your lips. 

It was almost foreign to you, to have someone care this deeply for you even after the act. None of your other partners behaved this way, and you were lucky if they even remembered to toss you a towel. But Yunho, he was different. He treated you as something more, and maybe it made you feel bad that you didn’t do the same for him. It was overwhelming, his soft kisses, his careful touches, the way he’d beg you to stay over, and the way he almost looked hurt when you say you can’t. Poor Yunho. He was in love with you, and you knew it. You hated yourself for toying with a man with good intentions. But what was the alternative? You couldn’t be his, and he couldn’t be yours. You made a promise to yourself years ago that you’d never be foolish enough to fall in love ever again. This had to stop, you should’ve stopped it months ago, but you were selfish. And lonely. The guilt you’ve been bottling up inside of you was too much to handle, and you knew you had to do something before you exploded.

Feeling disgusted with yourself, you pulled away from his lips. Yunho raised a brow at the sudden gesture. “What’s wrong?” He asked, his slightly concerned tone making your heart shatter into pieces. 

“You should get going. It’s late.” You got up, forcing Yunho to pull off of you. He watched you as you went over to your dresser to pull out a fresh pair of pajamas, completely dumbfounded by your sudden coldness. 

“Are you fucking serious?” He scoffed.

You shook your head, picking up his t-shirt that lay on the floor and tossing it over to him. His eyes flickered in anger and he threw his shirt back on the ground. “I don’t understand, why do you always do this!?” 

You stayed quiet, quickly covering yourself before turning around to face him, keeping your eyes low, feeling too ashamed to meet his. “I’m sorry, but I need you to go.” 

Yunho clenched his jaw. How could you be so cold? How could you invite him in, only to toss him out so abruptly? He thought about how you melted right into his embrace, how you kissed him back with the same amount of passion that he kissed you with. Was any of it real? Or was he too infatuated to notice that you were playing him, again? 

“Why? Is Yeosang coming over? Do you really think that guy cares about you?”

You balled your fists up at the mention of Yeosang. “Stop.” You warned.

“And San? He’d fuck anything with two legs and a heartbeat. Is that what you want?”

“Yes, Yunho, that’s exactly what I want!” You snapped. A silence weighed in before Yunho’s lips curled up in an unexpected smile. 

“What?” You teethed. 

He shook his head in disbelief. “You don’t know what you want. That’s why you keep coming back to me.” 

“Me?” You pointed to yourself, a crooked smile now spread across your lips. “No, it’s you that keeps coming back to me.” You jeered. 

“And you let me! Why do you let me!? Time after time, you take me back without question, why?”

You crossed your arms and looked away from his direction. You felt hot, like the blood in your veins was boiling. You didn’t want to deal with this. You felt stupid for letting him in. Yunho always had questions, so many questions, and you couldn’t give him any answers. Fed up with your silence, Yunho got up and walked towards you, almost closing the gap between you two. You still didn’t look at him. 

“And that night. Why did you come to me? Why didn’t you go to your other boyfriends? You were so different. Why did you act like it never happened the next day?” 

Your breath hitched in your throat. Your expression softened remembering that night. It was so cold and rainy that night, and Yunho felt so warm. He made you feel so loved, so cared for, and for once you felt like you deserved someone like him. But the morning sun gave you some clarity, and you were reminded once again of what happens when you fully give your heart to someone. Yunho didn’t see it now, but he’ll understand it one day. Love is a wasted emotion. It gives and gives, until one day it takes everything back from you, and more. 

“I don’t know.” You sighed. 

That wasn’t good enough for him. He took another step forward, the tips of your noses now just centimeters away from each other. “I’ll tell you why,” He said, his voice softer than earlier. “It’s because you like me. It’s because I’m the only one who really understands you, the only one who sees more to you than just your body. That’s why you keep taking me back. It’s why you came to me that night. You knew you could be vulnerable with me, and that I wouldn’t turn you away, because-” He paused for a moment to lick his lips. “Because I like you too, y/n.” 

Tears welled up in your eyes, and you tried to ignore the sting so that you wouldn’t blink and force them to run down your cheeks. Your chest felt like it was engulfed in flames, making your breathing unsteady. You were too caught up in your emotions to realize that Yunho closed the gap and pressed his lips onto yours, his hands firmly placed at your waist. 

He always kissed you like he wasn’t going to see you for a while. Maybe it was a force of habit considering all the times Yunho had ended things between you two. Or maybe, as he said, he liked you, and he wanted you to know from his touch if his words didn’t suffice. It felt right kissing him, real. Not like all the other times with your boy toys, who only kissed you because that’s just what came naturally when you're both rolling around naked in bed. Yunho never only kissed you on the lips, but everywhere else as well, your eyes, cheeks, forehead, and just every feature of you that made his heart swell and anywhere he could put his lips on if you let him. 

It was so easy. All you had to do was wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him back, leave this no strings attached bullshit behind, and let him lead the way. But you were reminded, reminded of him again, the one who took your heart and snapped it into two, the one who lead you to keep people at a distance and hurt them before they hurt you. That’s what you needed to do now, you told yourself. You had to hurt him. It made your heart ache even thinking of hurting Yunho, but you would be doing him a favor, even if he didn’t realize it now. You were damaged goods, not fit for sale. He’d be better off.

You pushed your hands on his chest to get him off you. Yunho, looking at you with such hope and hurt in his eyes, holding onto your hands that you used to keep him at a distance. He didn’t say anything, instead waiting for you to explain. 

Your eyes were down at your feet, too afraid to look him in the eye and say your next words. “I’m sorry Yunho, but I just don’t feel the same.” 

Yunho didn’t speak for a while. You wanted to look up at him, but you knew that seeing his reaction would crush you. You told yourself not to look. It was easier this way. 

“You don’t mean that.” Yunho kept his voice steady, even though he could feel a slight lump forming in his throat. “I know you feel the same, y/n.” 

You shook your head and a few droplets of tears splashed onto the carpet and onto your toes. “I’m sorry, but I don’t.” 

His hands let go of yours and he immediately brushed his fingers under your chin, forcing you to tilt your head up. “You really don’t feel what I feel? Then why don’t you look at me and say it?” 

He gazed down at you, waiting for your eyes to meet his, getting impatient with you when they didn’t. “Look at me and say you don’t want me.”

Overwhelmed, you moved your head around and pushed him off of you, too consumed in your rage to realize that for once that night, you were finally meeting his eyes. 

“I don’t want you. I never cared for you. You were just a distraction. Whatever you think was going on, it’s not true. You don’t know me, you don’t know what’s going on in my head, so don’t act as you do! For the love of god Yunho, just get the fuck out!” 

You panted after letting your frustrations out, the room now silent again. Nothing could have prepared you for the look on Yunho’s face right now. His sweet face was painted in constraint, his once cheery and sparkling brown eyes now glossy and downcast. You could feel your heart being ripped out of your chest, and for a moment you wanted to rush over to him and tell him you didn’t mean it, that you’ll do whatever he wants, be whatever he wants, as long as he stops making that face, but your legs stayed immobile and the words tangled up in your throat.

Yunho looked at you for a while, waiting to see if you would take those words back, but you never did. Swallowing the painful lump in his throat, he picked up his shirt from the floor and got dressed. You leaned back on your dresser, watching him as he put on his coat and slipped on his shoes. There was so much time to say something, anything, but neither of you uttered a word, and Yunho understood now that he said all that he needed to say, and that he couldn’t change your mind, even if he tried. 

He was now at your entry door, and you followed behind him, staying back a couple of feet as you prepared to watch him leave your life once and for all. As he held onto the knob, he turned his head slightly, as if he wanted to say something, but decided against it, and went on with turning the knob, his tall frame disappearing behind the closing door. 

You wanted to crawl into a ball and cry right there on the floor, but you stayed strong. You’re not crying over a guy again, you promised yourself. Even if it hurts…It’s for the best.

-

Finals were almost over, and the Library was seeing a reduction in visitors. The staff was partly relieved, enjoying the empty space and not having to be bothered to tell students to be quiet, confiscate their Cheeto bags (even though there’s a bold NO EATING sign at almost every table), and wake up tired students from their naps to tell them the library was closing. But there was one visitor who came almost daily and sat at the same exact spot in the same exact section. The Historical Fiction section.

The librarians didn’t know what his deal was. He’d come in with absolutely nothing, no backpack, no laptop, no textbook. They even doubted he brought his phone. Sometimes, he’d take a book off the historical fiction shelf and crack it open, although, unbeknownst to the library staff, he wasn’t actually reading anything. He tried to, but then his head would get fuzzy and he’d get lost in thought, his eyes darting around every time he heard the Library door open or footsteps approach his section, only for it to be another student or a staff member, and when he’d sigh and look back down at his book, he’d forget where he left off and start from the beginning again.

They didn’t know he was waiting on a girl. If they did, they would probably feel bad for him, and maybe even find his efforts to be a little pathetic. But to Yunho, it didn’t matter to him what they thought. Being the tortured romantic that he was, he still had hope that you two would be together again. He wasn’t going to crawl back to you like all the other times. Instead, he was going to wait. He believed the day would come where you’d grow sick from your passing relationships and realize your true feelings for him. And when you realize that, you’ll come running to the Library where you two first met, and you would find him there, sitting at your table in your special little corner of the Library. He’d greet you with a friendly smile, and pull out a chair for you, and you two would just pick up where you left off as if nothing else ever happened. Maybe then he’d take you out on a real date, maybe to a fancy restaurant which neither of you could pronounce the name of, and afterward, you’d crash at his place and you’d lay in his arms just as you did that night, and he’d whisper corny jokes into your hair, both of you laughing softly until you finally fell asleep. Maybe, after a while of sleeping over, you’d take a liking to his idea of moving into a small and cramped apartment on the outskirts of the city, where there’s no one around to bother you except each other. Maybe. Who knows.

They didn’t know he was waiting on a girl. If they did, they would probably feel bad for him, and maybe even find his efforts to be a little pathetic. But to Yunho, it didn’t matter what they thought. Being the tortured romantic that he was, he still had hope that you two would be together again. He wasn’t going to crawl back to you like all the other times. Instead, he was going to wait. He believed the day would come where you’d grow sick from your passing relationships and realize your true feelings for him. And when you realize that, you’ll come running to the place where you two first met, and you would find him there, sitting at your table in your special little corner of the Library. He’d greet you with a friendly smile, and pull out a chair for you, and you two would just pick up where you left off as if nothing else ever happened. Maybe then he’d take you out on a real date, maybe to a fancy restaurant which neither of you could pronounce the name of, and afterward, you’d crash at his place and you’d lay in his arms just as you did that night, and he’d whisper corny jokes into your hair, both of you laughing softly until you finally fell asleep. Maybe, after a while of sleeping over, you’d take a liking to his idea of moving into a small and cramped apartment on the outskirts of the city, where there’s no one around to bother you except each other. Maybe. Who knows.

-

Finals were almost over, and the Library was seeing a reduction in visitors. The staff was partly relieved, enjoying the empty space and not having to be bothered to tell students to be quiet, confiscate their Cheeto bags (even though there’s a bold NO EATING sign at almost every table), and wake up tired students from their naps to tell them they were closing. But there was one visitor who came almost daily and sat at the same exact spot in the same exact section like clockwork. The Historical Fiction section. 

The librarians didn’t know what his deal was. He’d come in with absolutely nothing, no backpack, no laptop, and no textbook to indicate if he was taking a summer class at least. Sometimes, he’d take a book off the historical fiction shelf and crack it open, although, unbeknownst to the library staff, he wasn’t actually reading anything. He tried to, but then his head would get fuzzy and he’d get lost in thought, his eyes darting around every time he heard the Library door open or footsteps approach his section, only for it to be another student or a staff member, and when he’d sigh and look back down at his book, he’d forget where he left off and start from the beginning again. 

They didn’t know he was waiting on a girl. If they did, they would probably feel bad for him, and maybe even find his efforts to be a little pathetic. But to Yunho, it didn’t matter what they thought. Being the tortured romantic that he was, he still had hope that you two would be together again. He wasn’t going to crawl back to you like all the other times. Instead, he was going to wait. He believed the day would come where you’d grow sick from your passing relationships and realize your true feelings for him. And when you realize that, you’ll come running to the Library where you two first met, and you would find him there, sitting at your table in your special little corner of the Library. He’d greet you with a friendly smile, and pull out a chair for you, and you two would pick up where you left off as if nothing else ever happened. Maybe then he’d take you out on a real date, maybe to a fancy restaurant which neither of you could pronounce the name of, and afterward, you’d crash at his place and lay in his arms just as you did that night, and he’d whisper corny jokes into your hair, both of you laughing softly until you finally fell asleep. Maybe, after a while of sleeping over, you’d take a liking to his idea of moving into a small and cramped apartment on the outskirts of the city, where there’s no one around to bother you except each other. Maybe. Who knows. 

[dearqueerheart]

sorry just let me infodump for one second, ok? ok.

epic the musical has me in a chokehold (spoilers ahead, PLEASE GO LISTEN if it seems like something you’d be into). and i was rethinking on the song Monster. specifically, the part where he begins to justify being cruel by comparing himself to the foes he’s faced. polyphemus, circe, poseidon (i 1000% think the order matters, ill get there in a second). and all of that just shows how his, like so many dangerously intelligent men in greek myths, big flaw is hubris. overwhelming hubris. he thinks that he’s allowed to be cruel because a cyclops, a witch, and a god are allowed to be cruel. he is just one of so many greeks who think they’re as good as — or even better than — the gods.

and there are hints of this throughout the entire show up until that point. he attempts (and succeeds in, after facing tragic losses) to deceive polyphemus by drugging him with the lotus fruit, believing that he is more powerful and intelligent than the cyclops. he tries to reason with poseidon after being asked by the sea god for an apology for blinding his son, but he does this in SUCH a manipulative way. poseidon tells him, “i won’t kill your men if you apologize to me,” and ody goes, “alright bet,” and gives him such an incredible non-apology (“poseidon, we meant no harm”). he is too fucking proud to apologize, and will attempt to MANIPULATE AN OLYMPIAN GOD in order to protect that pride. it’s wild.

he actually does successfully “defeat” circe, but only by literally begging her (“i beg you circe, grant us mercy”) to save his men and help him get home. he wins this fight because he puts his pride aside for once in his goddamn life, and rescues the scouting party because of it.

so here’s why the order matters in the song monster: he’s working himself up to comparing himself to an olympian. he doesn’t list his foes in chronological order. he lists them in amount of power and intelligence. if you just take what he’s saying at face value, he says “well, polyphemus was justified, and circe was justified, and poseidon was justified, then i must be, too!” but if you read deeper, he’s comparing his evil deeds to the evil deeds of people far more powerful and complicated and experienced than him.

in the thunder saga, both scylla and zeus manipulate this pride. scylla uses it to drop odysseus’ guard, inviting him to compare himself to her, and to find kinship with her, as they’re both “monsters” (“deep down, you know that we are the same”). and zeus tests his pride, to see how deep it fully goes, and possibly to reveal to odysseus himself how prideful he is. like poseidon and athena, zeus may be trying to teach odysseus a lesson, albeit significantly harsher than the latter. (“if i had to make you choose the lives of your men and crew or your own, why do i think they’d lose?”) it’s one of my favorite moments in that song, because it’s really just zeus pushing all of odysseus’ buttons to force him to make the choice that zeus wants him to make.

anyway that’s all. it’s just so cool and i have a lot of thinks!! i could make a whole essay just about the gods’ desire to teach odysseus but i’ll save that for another time.

[savedbythedrafts]

I have many thoughts about Bridgerton.

Was it the perfect season? Absolutely no.

But it quite honestly is my favorite season so far because it made me realise how the enemies-to-lovers trope has rotten my brain when this is what I want to see. Gentle love, best friends becoming partners.

Things that I absolutely loved this season:

-Pen's arc: In the book she gives up whistledown to become a romance author which is nice, but now we have a legitimate journalist in the house who has proved her accuracy at such a young age. People who are worried about how she's gonna get her info now that people are guarded? Um her main sources were always the maids and footmen and she is observant enough to run a column. Plus now that everyone knows who she is, people might anonymously send her reports (as happens in journalism) which gives her SO MUCH POWER. I am a journalist and I can't stress enough how incredible that is. I know book fans expected the last speech by Colin but imo her taking full control of her decisions and willingness to face the consequences makes it so much better.

-Eloise and Pen patch up: Both of them going to each other for comfort and support when the shit hit the fan made my heart warm. When Eloise comes back, I hope she knows herself a bit better and actually brings her grand ideas to reality.

-Benedict going about his viscount duties in absence of Anthony without the rage of responsibility whilst discovering his sexuality 10/10. Man was also fully involved in all of his siblings feuds, mainly whatever the fuck Gregory and Hyacinth were upto. CUTE. Actually shoutout to all the Bridgertons, they were so perfectly chaotic.

-THe FEATHERINGTONS OMG: I am the youngest daughter of my family as well as the black sheep- so unpredictable, unconventional that no one in my family gets me. That's why I relate to Pen so much and I'll defend her to death. To see the sisters and Portia realise Pen's worth made me sob. Phillipa saying I hope my daughter becomes a writer? Cherry on cake. But Portia opening up to Pen and being vulnerable and proud at the same time was so bloody well done.

-Polin: Fans being livid about the lack of spice in part 2 (minus the incredible sex scene in ep 5) is understandable but I blame the marketing for it, not the showrunners. Over the course of part 1, we saw Colin's relationship with intimacy change drastically. His want for connection becomes a necessity and if they just jumped into angry sex without actually resolving anything, it would have ruined his character development. I think it's the incredible chemistry between Nic and Luke in general and the heavy emphasis on the horniness during the press tour left the fans understandably wanting for more. But in general, their romance felt quite authentic. The Pride and Prejudice 'dancing in the room alone' callback, goofing around in the church, Colin coming to terms with what Whistledown meant to the ton and himself, Penelope's newfound confidence thanks to Colin's frequent words of affirmation, it was all good.

Things I would change to make this season better (this is turning into a full article now but read ahead if you have been here so far):

-The bloody editing: Pardon my french but why the fuck Benedict's prolonged threesome scenes not edited out? He has a whole season coming up so I don't understand so much focus on that weirdly edited scene amidst the drama. Just one shot of establishing his pansexuality (or bi but I am hoping it's pan) would have been enough? I love Ben, he is my favorite brother but this gave me the ick. To think these 3-4 minutes could have been used to extend the last Polin intimate scene. We could have had a good 5 minutes of Pen topping Colin after the BIG REVEAL but noooo. Even the subplots should have been kept short and sweet. Unlike some fans, I am not completely against the inclusion of the Mondrich family, Cressida's back story, the build up to Benedict's and Fran's actual stories, and more. But I believe too much footage was given to these even though the show clearly focuses on one couple per season. Get your shit together Shonda, this is not 20 episode Grey's anatomy, we can't focus on EVERYONE.

-Colin's anger after the wedding: Now I understand why he didn't want to have the wedding night given the stressful circumstances but him being angry till Francesca's wedding made no sense. How I would have written the resolution would have been something like this- In the hours before Rae leaves the house at night, Colin would have been reading the letters, figuring out how Pen is so whistledown at core (like he actually does the very next day but in absence of Pen). And instead of coming into the room to get a blanket, he could have brought in his own manuscript, asking her to read it as promised and taking up her offer to let her edit. This scene was literally in the book and was so easy to adapt. I would give my left kidney to see Colin sitting near Penelope, watching her powerful writing in action. Again, no spice required, just this. This would have made Pen's 'just love me' speech to Colin so good, but alas!

-Cressida: This is the arc I am most pissed off about. Eloise's reconciliation with Pen was great but completely abandoning Cressida to misery was so outta pocket. I realise Eloise is still not a fully realised character and is barely 20 (she's just a girl) but she was always kind. If I was writing Cressida's arc, I would have had Eloise come to her rescue at the end by borrowing some money from Pen and helping Cressida escape to Vienna or better Scotland. I highly doubt Pen would have minded if she knew how similar both of their circumstances were. I detested Cressida in the books because I'll be honest the books were pretty two dimensional with no real character development and just grand gestures (I'll understand if you come for me but this is how I feel, sorry). But the show made me care for her and I wished she could have found some happiness in life.

Overall, I'll rewatch it because the tiny details were so good this season I believe I can relish those till the next season. And I'll miss Polin immensely. But Shonda please, you can do better.

[naffeclipse]

This scene from the new chapter of AP

"""

Your lips part soundlessly. Eclipse takes the camera in his hand, studying the screen before glancing down at you.

“I want this.”

"""

I think it's my favourite one from an entire fic, it's so cute. Eclipse's curiosity and love for his birdie is so well captured. The want to keep those precious moments and the craft of Y/n close to himself. I think he also loved the fact that Y/n started capturing him, and them in their photos. It's something they love to do, their passion. They said they capture beautiful things. And now they choose to capture him. To capture them together.

This scene is so domestic and lovely. Taking picture with someone you care about at your outing.

There is something so soft about this line and situation. His cute side is showing, I think it always was but only now with Y/n's new perspective on his actions we can see it fully. He wants to have his birdie, he wants this picture, he wants closeness and affection. And he is so happy and proud of himself that he is finally getting it. I wish Y/n would give him a gift in return, big boy deserves it.

Damn Y/n just throw everything, tell your mer husband to pack his bags and fallow you to the warmer waters, move to the seaside, buy a house close to the sea, and live out the rest of your days being cared for by an orca man, you both deserve it. You will start photographing marine life, eclipse being an assistant by finding the epic places, you will make a fortune by that, the end, happy ending. Trust me that's a good plan.

There is an angry mob of people that will choose violence if you choose to abandon the Oreo man. Do not go that way.

Anyway, Naff you are amazing, thank you for this chapter and really this scene caused me such a heart-warming feeling you can't even imagine.

Kisses

I'm melting at this analysis, ahhh! Eclipse sees Y/N finally accept him in the way he understands, which makes him so incredibly happy. Y/N understands Eclipse better than they ever have, and knowing what he's gone through and that they can reason with him, helps them feel more confident in their relationship with him. They're finally eye to eye. It's so wonderful and beautiful (and bittersweet).

I'm really happy you like that line!! Thank you for reading! <3

[courtney-deserved-better]

seeing as it’s now been one year since the last chapter of slippery slopes was posted, i decided to make a big sappy post talking about what this fic has meant to me over the last two and a half years

i started writing slippery slopes after a bolt of inspiration struck me on this post. i’d tried writing my fair share of long fics prior, most of them remaining unpublished and all of them unfinished. i’m not quite sure what made me think i could write slippery slopes other than a strong desire to write the alenoah fic i wanted to read but that didn’t exist at the time. slippery slopes was the 30th fic posted in the alenoah tag, which didn’t have any finished long fics at the time. i think if you told 2021 pj that in two years there would be over 600 alenoah fics, many of them tdwt rewrites, their head would explode.

i honestly had no idea what i was jumping into when i started writing slippery slopes. looking back, i was very insecure about my writing. i’d actually forgotten about that until i was reading some posts i’d made while i was still writing it, where i wondered if i was going to be able to pull off the miscommunication plotline and the unplanned alecourtney friendship. almost every announcement of a chapter draft being completed included me saying i felt weird about it, or thought it was bad. i felt incredibly uncomfortable writing serious angst and when that started playing an important role in the fic at around chapter seven i feared that my writing was awful and other people would dislike it the way i had. i genuinely don’t think it hit me that slippery slopes was a popular fic until a few months before it became the most kudosed fic on ao3.

back then, i was able to understand why other people liked slippery slopes, but i couldn’t read it without cringing. i’m not sure when exactly the switch flipped—probably after i finally finished it and was able to distance myself from the writing process—but it became a fic that i’m incredibly proud of. i can reread it now and enjoy it without cringing in the slightest. i was able to see my writing as good, and well-crafted. i will always appreciate slippery slopes as a fic where i grew incredibly as a writer. i understand how to plan out long fics while still allowing for spontaneity. i can comfortably write angst. i feel strong in my choices for characterization and friendship even if it may seem unconventional. i have so much more confidence in my writing now, and a lot of that is thanks to you all.

other than desperately wanting an alenoah tdwt rewrite fic, a huge part of why i wrote slippery slopes was because i felt lonely in the td fandom and was hoping that this fic could connect me with more people out there. and boy oh boy it sure has. and not just the plethora of alenoah shippers—way more than i expected—but there were also people who didn’t ship alenoah, but still stayed for the story, and people who had never considered alenoah but gave my fic a chance and ended up shipping it anyway. when i didn’t believe my writing was good, there were many, many kind commenters who showed my fic love and encouraged me to keep going with it. and even now, there are commenters whose fresh excitement make me feel like all the time i spent on this fic was so, so worth it. and they all inspire me to keep writing. 

i may be a good writer, but i don’t think i can ever fully express what everyone’s support has done for me. i still struggle to wrap my mind around the fact that there are dozens of drawings of my fic that you all have made! that’s crazy! i am so, so lucky to have such wonderful readers, and i hope you all know how incredibly grateful i am. slippery slopes would not exist without you. this was a joint effort. it’s amazing to me how a spontaneously started fic for a crackship ended up changing the total drama fandom landscape the way it did. who would’ve guessed that a simple whim to write an alenoah fic could become quite the slippery slope.

[pink-sparkly-witch]

The One That Got Away - Chapter Eleven

Warnings: angst, language, fluff.

Word Count: 1.6k

Pairing: Firefighter!Dean Winchester x Female Reader

A/N: I didn’t have a beta for this, so all mistakes are mine.

You can catch up here!

 My Masterlist AO3    Ko-Fi

“Are you only here until your father goes, or are you back for good?” Dean asked, and Y/N bit her lip and furrowed her brow.

“It depends,” she finally responded.

“On what?”

“If you and I can be okay,” Y/N said, deciding complete honesty was the best way to handle this, and lifted her eyes to meet his. “I’m not expecting things to go back to how they were, De. Too much time has passed for that, but I’d like us to try to be friends again. But I also need to be completely honest and tell you I never got over you.”

“Y/N…”

“Please, just listen,” she begged, “you read my letter, and you know I had some unhealthy coping methods. I’ve only had one serious relationship since I left, which ended when I turned down his proposal three years ago. He told me that he loved me, but I was emotionally unavailable, and he couldn’t stay with someone who couldn’t love him the way he loved them,” Y/N explained.

“When I finally started dating again after that, I always sabotaged it before it could get serious. That was when I knew I would never let anyone in the way I did you, and I’d never get over you. I understand this is a lot, and I get that you might not feel the same, but if you want to try and be us again, awesome. If you want to try and be friends again, great,” she paused and took a deep breath, licked her lips before speaking again. “But if you don’t want me here… if me being here hurts you, and we can’t fix things between us, I can’t stay because I can’t be this close to you and not be part of your life. It’ll kill me.”

There it was. Everything Y/N needed him to know before they made any decisions on their future. This was where her heart lay, shield and armour down, vulnerability showing as she laid her cards on the table and bared her soul to him.

Now it was his turn.

“Y/N, I…” Dean began, grabbing her hands and smiling softly as her watery eyes found his. “I never stopped loving you. I tried to move on, but I couldn’t. None of them would be you. Not even close. Every day since you left, I have regretted not asking you to stay or coming with you. Even now, having read your letter and knowing it was the best thing for us, I still regret it. I hate that making that decision meant I couldn’t comfort you after the nightmares or stop you from drinking away your pain. The sex thing? Well, I’m just pissed that I missed out on what sounds like it could’ve been some kinky shit!” Dean joked, chuckling as Y/N threw her head back with laughter.

“But,” he continued, “seeing you now, your smile reaching your eyes, the constant pain and sadness in them gone, and the confidence you’ve gained. It makes me realise that as much as I will always hate myself for letting you leave… letting you go… it was the right thing to do because you and I wouldn’t be where we are. You…”

Dean swallowed hard, hating even the thought of what could’ve been. “You would be living your life completely in my shadow, or I would be in prison, and you probably wouldn’t be here at all,” Dean said, wiping away the tears falling down his cheeks.

“I know, Dean,” Y/N smiled sadly. “It broke my heart, and I won’t pretend otherwise, but it was the right thing for us to do. Please forgive yourself for that. I do. We needed to grow on our own. I had to learn to protect myself and not rely on you to fight my battles. I had to learn to take care of myself for once, to put myself first and fix myself. I might have taken the wrong path once or twice, but I righted myself and am incredibly proud of who I’ve become.”

“Seeing you at the hospital and tonight, I love who you’ve become, and I can’t wait to get to know her better. I would be honoured if, once I’m fully healed, you’ll let me take you out to dinner so I can continue to get to know you again,” Dean smiled, anxiously awaiting her response.

“I’d like that,” Y/N smiled bashfully.

“Just so we’re clear, I mean as a date,” Dean grinned.

“A date?” she questioned, “Dean, are you sure?”

“Yeah, I am, Princess. I meant it when I said I never stopped loving you. You’re still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and I wanna get to know you again. Try us again. So… what d’ya say? A fresh start?” Dean grinned at her bashful giggle before she lowered her eyes and looked at him through her lashes. His breath caught in his throat as he was taken back to their teenage years when she looked at him like that often.

“A fresh start would be perfect,” Y/N smiled as Dean’s face broke into a joyous grin.

“But,” she continued, and Dean’s smile faded slightly. “I think this has probably been enough excitement for you on your first night out of the hospital, so I’m gonna go home and let you rest,” Y/N smiled softly.

“Come on, sweetheart! I just got you back,” Dean protested, and she chuckled.

“Dean, you look like you’re gonna fall asleep in your seat!” Y/N reached her hand out to cup his cheek and smiled fondly as he leaned into her touch and closed his eyes.

“You’ve got my number now. You can call or text me anytime. I’m heading into four night shifts, so please don’t think I’m ignoring you if I don’t reply right away.”

Dean nodded in appreciation that she’d thought to tell him that. If he had texted or called her and she didn’t answer, he would overthink everything and convince himself that she’d changed her mind about starting over.

“Alright, you win,” he pulled back reluctantly. “I’ll call you in a few days, and maybe we can arrange that date?” Dean smirked, and she giggled.

“I thought we were waiting for you to be fully healed?” Y/N teased.

“Oh, trust me, sweetheart, I will be,” Dean replied.

“Still cocky, I see,” Y/N smirked and leaned forward, kissing Dean's cheek. Standing from the chair, she put her jacket on and slung her purse over her shoulder. 

“No, don’t get up,” she protested as he moved to stand. “I can see myself out.”

“You will not. I’m walking you out,” Dean grunted as he stood, the pain in his chest throbbing after sitting idle for so long. One glance at Y/N had him roll his eyes at the ‘I told you so’ look on her face.

“Look, I was gonna have to get up anyway to lock the door behind you and go to bed. I might as well do it now and make sure you get to your car okay at the same time.” Dean opened the door for her and leaned against it.

“I suppose I can’t argue with that, can I?” Y/N chuckled.

“Nope,” Dean said, popping the p.

“Goodnight, Captain Winchester.”

“Goodnight, Nurse Singer.”

The next few weeks passed in the blink of an eye. To everyone’s surprise, Dean had done what the doctor told him and taken it easy until Dr Clark cleared him to return to work. Bobby had put him on light duties on his first shift back, which he’d hated at first, but about sixteen hours into a twenty-four-hour shift, he was grateful that he had it that little bit easier after being out of the game for four weeks.

Y/N had adjusted to life back in Lawrence well. She was in a good routine with work and had stopped taking as many overtime shifts as she had when she first came back. She filled her days off, reconnecting with family and friends and making plans with the new friends she’d made since her return.

They’d kept in regular contact, texting and calling every day. She’d been to his place a few more times in the past few weeks, always, she insisted, to help him around the house or to make sure he ate a decent home-cooked meal. Dean didn’t complain because he got to spend all this extra time with her.

Y/N’s impromptu visits were filled with remembering the old days and catching up with everything that had been and gone since they’d last seen each other. Their disastrous dating lives had them in tears of laughter, and the stories of her time before therapy had them in tears of despair.

They knew these conversations needed to be had, and if Y/N was honest, she’d much rather they have them before they tried their fresh start. If they waited until they were officially dating before having the difficult conversations and Dean changed his mind about wanting a second chance, wanting her, she knew she wouldn’t survive his rejection.

After several heart-to-heart conversations and everything Y/N had gone through in her first few years in Chicago aired to Dean, the relief she felt that he still wanted to go on a date with her took her by surprise. It made her realise just how much he, and this second chance, truly meant to her.

It was overwhelming because her entire future depended on things working out between them. Y/N meant what she said, if Dean didn’t want her, she couldn’t stay in Lawrence, not even as his friend, because it would kill her. There would always be doors open for her in Chicago, and she knew that, but she was done running.

Next Chapter >>

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[mama-frog]

Session 7 Brainrot

I have so much to say about what happened this session so I'm gonna categorize this by person.

Gem: I find it incredibly interesting that she was the person given this task. A) Because she is the one the only Geminislay, B) Because she is like fresh meat to the watchers, C) Because of the infection she is already going through. The darkness spreading across her body probably made her more susceptible to the curse at first than anyone else on the server. She's such a strong player overall and the fact that she had a whole army behind her is terrifying.

Grian: The fact that he didn't get caught by the zombies says a lot about him. He's very good at running and hiding (especially from watcher stuff). I also want to point out WHERE he hid in the end of the session. The pesky bird went into a comfort nest. Definitely unintentional but definitely fun to think about.

Scott: Scott and Gem are, in my opinion, some of the smartest people on the server, so the fact that he didn't get caught doesn't surprise me and surprises me at the same time. Everytime Scott got boogey in a previous death game he did it in a way that was unsatisfactory for the watchers (Not actually killing and killing as soon as possible so the others weren't brewing up a pot of tasty negative emotions). He felt betrayed when Gem finally started to go after him (Even though she didn't go completely nuts until she turned red) and he has such a strong sense of loyalty to his allies. There's also some juxtaposition of him hiding underground while Grian hid in the air.

Martyn: Even though it was on a technicality, I think it's interesting that he was the only one not allowed to be infected. It's as if the watchers know that his chaos is secured and are trying to get the others in line with what they want to see. Also, he's just so damn good at being a red name, I feel like he's the only person to do it correctly in this series. I also feel like he was cheated out of his revenge plot on everyone else on the server because of the curse which might've been intentional on the Watcher's end.

Cleo: She is an icon and she IS the moment. I just love the irony of her being a zombie and not getting infected by the curse. I feel like her closeness to players like Martyn and Scott helped her in her ability to avoid the curse for so long. She's very smart with her allies this season.

Pearl: I'm terrified of how quick Pearl is to go insane when given the chance. Especially when it comes to her dogs. Tilly is always in her heart. This woman was YELLOW and decided on her own to bring up a warden when there already was one. And her gear is so well enchanted. She has learned a lot from previous seasons but she has also lost a bit of her sanity (Especially from double life). What a woman.

Joel: I don't know why he thought spawning 64 zombies so close to him and not on the others was a good idea, but man was it good comedy. Once he became a boogey he played really well though. He's so perfectly unhinged and after Lizzie dying he has very good reason to go insane on everyone else (The spine bit was cruel and unusual punishment). Underrated POV in my opinion.

Scar: Unhinged

Etho: Ok this part hinges on my theory that endermen are creatures created by the Watchers to interfere with the games. I fully believe that the watchers hated Etho being green so badly that they personally interfered to take him to yellow. The betrayal of your own tool killing you is a tasty snack for the watchers to enjoy. (Definitely not just Etho being washed up). Also the way he is so incredibly loyal to his team members even after being cursed. He's just a stand up guy.

Impulse: I just love the way him and Gem interact. He's like a proud dad whenever she does anything. That's it.

BDubs: I cackled when he got killed by a zombie again. Gem is hilarious for that. He did about as good as I expected under the curse. I do love all his interactions with Etho more than anything else. Those two are such unofficial soulmates (in a non-ship way).

Skizz: A true light on the server. All the better for the Watchers when he gets corrupted by the curse. He deserved to be mean after the heart got burned down.

Tango: This man's rage is so interesting. The way that it gets triggered most when people mess with his base is something I think could be explored (the ranch in double life, the ties base in limited life, and now the heart foundation).

Overall I have a lot of emotions about this last session

[mamawasatesttube]

Hello, I'm pretty new to the Superboy fandom. Can I ask you this question:

This part on his Wikipedia page caught my attention.

Do you know the instances (issues, panels, lines, etc) where Kon-el expresses that he doesn't want to be considered Superman's sidekick or similar sentiments?

I would really like to understand more about his feelings regarding his role in relation to Superman and his feelings toward the big man himself.

Thank you, and I apologize if any part of my ask sounds rude to you.

hoookay this is probably gonna be a bit of a doozy but i'll try and keep it concise!!!

first of all, rec-wise, you're probably gonna wanna read the entirety of "reign of the supermen" and "the return of superman". which is a lot, i know, but there's so much going on there that it's honestly hard for me to pick and choose any single issue out of it that would make sense as a standalone.

so at first, before clark himself comes back on the scene, we get things like the classic "don't ever call me 'superboy!'" panel as well as things like this:

where it's clear that kon sees himself as superman, the "real" superman. he does also acknowledge that he's young and he needs to learn to be and do better, as when john henry irons tells him he needs to accept responsibility for his showboating causing frank the helicopter pilot's death, so it's not like he's a full-on arrogant jackass about being the best already, but at this point "superman" is his entire identity. he's not shy about the fact that he's a clone, either; he tells lois, and later, everyone in metropolis via tv, that he is a kryptonian clone and obviously not the og superman himself, but he's still insistent that he is superman.

a fun side note here: this is actually before the retcon that kon was a human with a metagene, so he is actually a full clone of superman!

in fact that's part of why lois knows something is up with cyborg superman in the wake of the destruction of coast city. it's not entirely relevant to the question of their relationship except that it IS my favorite interpretation and also i think it adds a particular flavor to kon's relationship to superman as the gold standard he was made to achieve, the model he was made to emulate.

"Superman... the first Superman... didn't let Doomsday trash his town... and I won't let these creeps rip it down!"

superman is his role model in every way. he respects him a lot even in death and wants to be as much like him as he can. at this point kon's definitely a hotheaded and easily-distracted kid, but he's also all of three weeks old, so...

"Ripping free of this trap would be child's play for Superman... but I'm his clone, aren't I?"

so we can see from early on kon definitely ties his sense of self and his sense of self-worth to "how am i measuring up to superman?" that's a recurring theme we'll see with him over and over.

by the end of the fight with hank henshaw, kon has fully accepted that superman's back and is The OG:

"Check that, Blondie. I'm not Superman. That guy's Superman! The one and only!"

after this we get the "actually a human clone with a ttk metagene" retcon and kon's departure for hawaii:

he leaves for two primary reasons: a) to make a name for himself because he wants to be worthy of the superboy/superman mantle and the s-shield, and b) because editorial wanted superboy to be its own separate title. he thinks the world of superman and wants to make him proud, essentially, while also maintaining his independence.

(clark is also around and interacting him during that retcon arc but i'm a little tired and don't wanna go hunt down any more panels right now, so ... that's for another day.)

and then of course there's superboy (1994) #59, where kon actually gets the name kon-el, something incredibly meaningful to both him and clark:

in summary: kon really, really looks up to clark. he wants to be worthy of his trust and often berates himself when he feels like he's not being enough like superman. his strong drive for independence is part of that: he wants to be totally independent and capable on his own, just like superman.

[billthedrake]

TRAINING THE SALES GUY (PART FIVE)

Again this story has some edgier, more extreme oral play, with each chapter going a little further.

It was crazy hot seeing my straight bro of a coworker get into more extreme oral sex.

We had only two accidents. It was inevitable, I guess. The first one killed the mood.

Carson and I had been doing the Countdown Game, modeled after that video I'd sent him. The first two times we'd done it had been crazy hot, and Carson loved the challenge of it. I'd have him deep throat me and then I'd count off the seconds. The first swallow would go for one second, then Carson would back off, take a second pause and a deep breath, then I'd instruct him back on my hard cock. Swallow Two would go for two seconds, the third for three, etc.

Carson worked up to 5 seconds without too much difficulty. He was getting even better at deep throating my big dick, and his excitement fed off the game to drive him to do it with even more enthusiastic.

Rounds 6 and 7 were tougher for him, but I assured the straight-ish sales guy he could tap out at any time. I'd push his limits, but he had the ultimate say. By the time he did, we were both so worked up, I was able to do some quick face fucking to blast off straight into Carson Wells' stomach. The sight of that heavy mucus on my dong when I pulled off was just the cherry on the sundae.

The third time we played the Countdown Game, Carson went for more, and fuck, I was so turned on watching him struggle to fight that gag as he held himself pressed into my pubes. Carson wore an old, beat-up T-shirt that he didn't mind getting messy. Usually that meant that thick mucus that dripped from my cock when I pulled out or ran down his chin. But when I urged him to go for round 8, his ragged breath muttered a cry and when he took me in again, poor Carson didn't make it three seconds before he lost it.

I felt bad, and yeah I lost my hardon as I got an extra towel and a wet washcloth to help clean up. Worst was, Wells seemed pretty distraught.

"I think I'm done, Bill," he said. "Sorry." He was still hyperventilating some, trying to steady himself.

So much for the Countdown Game.

I went into full buddy mode, though. Finding him a spare T-shirt and offering to get him an Uber home. Telling him it was OK and thanking him for being a trooper. Everything in the tone of my voice told him I was OK if we stopped the more extreme throat training from here on out, and I meant it.

Thankfully Carson reached out to me next Saturday. I was glad as hell. I was getting used to my time with the guy and didn't want to get cut off cold turkey. Maybe I'd get back into doing hookups or even going on a date, but Wells was tapping into my deep fantasies and I was going to ride this suck buddy arrangement we had.

I let Carson do the work next time. Hands off, classic standing while he sat and sucked position. He was great at it, and I think the sales bro was showing me that this was as good as me taking charge of his throat.

It almost was. The slower pace did wonders for me, as I let Carson work me up gradually to a heavy cum, alternating deep throating with some more vigorous sucking.

"FUCK!" I cried. Sometimes I liked being vocal to let Carson know how deep of an orgasm he was giving me. I didn't have to play up anything that day. I reached behind his ear to massage his soft hair as he nursed the dribbles from my boner and worked toward his own big O.

"Thanks, Boss," he muttered when he finally pulled back. I could tell he appreciated that I'd let him do something less intense.

"I told you, Wells, your blowjobs are incredible."

He had a proud look. There was some kind of straight-dude competitive thing that meant Carson gave cocksucking his all. I didn't fully get it, but I loved every hookup we had.

***

All of November it was business as usual. Me acting professional with Carson at work, then Saturday meetups for a BJ from the guy. Once was on his 31st birthday and before he swallowed my cock, he muttered, "You gonna give me my present, Boss?" The more Carson and I did this, the more relaxed we got around each other, fitting into complementary roles. I played up the big bro, encouraging type, and Carson was the eager beaver into how much he got me off - and still riding that taboo that he was into having a dick in his mouth.

The guy made no move for anything else, either. No kissing, no touching. I checked in from once again to see if he wanted reciprocation. After all, Carson hadn't told me he was dating anyone. But he just assured me, he didn't like the idea of a guy doing anything for him. That was the last time I'd make the offer.

We were back to a new normal. Carson had perfected his deep throating and loved to show it off for me, but otherwise our pairings were vanilla again.

I gave him a wide berth at the office, but not avoiding him so much it looked suspicious. And for the time being we were paired with other people on sales visits, so no business trips together. The "Dream Team" would have to wait.

Still, when our annual holiday office party rolled around, I found myself talking to Carson. First with a few of the younger guys around, then just us two, alone. He was trying to keep his poker face on, but he had a naughty smile as he looked around the bar area. He was drunk, and I was getting there myself.

"So Boss," he leaned in to say. "I got a Christmas present to give you at some point."

"Yeah, Wells?" I replied with a grin. Maybe he had an actual, physical present, but that would be weird, and I had an idea of what he was getting at.

He nodded. Then he said in a deep fratty whisper, "It's been a while since we've done the Countdown Game."

Holy fuck. I'd have to will myself to keep from throwing hard in my suit trousers. I was gonna chub big time as it was. I looked to read his face. "It has," I said. Then, "We don't gotta, you know."

"I know," Carson nodded. "But I keep thinking about it. I figure I know the worst that can happen." He paused to read my expression. "But if it freaked you, Boss, I get that."

"It didn't," I assured him. "Um, stuff happens."

Carson nodded and that naughty look on his handsome face returned. It blew my mind that he was so into a guy using his mouth. "So you wanna, Boss?"

I nodded, taking a sip of my drink. "My place or yours, Carson?"

"Mine," he said. "Give me a ten minute head start?"

"Yeah," I replied, blushing and feeling my heart pound. We were really going to do this.

I went over to make small talk with two of the client service people in our department. I tried not to be obvious, but out of the corner of my eye, I watched Carson rejoin some of the younger people before finally taking leave. It took me longer than ten minutes to extricate myself from the conversation I was having with a couple of married coworkers, but soon I was giving my good night and texting Carson as I hailed a cab.

The guy had a big playful smile as he showed me into his condo. I saw a couple of towels laid out on the floor, and I gathered that Carson wanted the head start not only to keep us from being connected by our coworkers but to set up.

"Hey," I said, feeling a good deal of naughtiness myself. It wasn't quite like that first time in the Denver hotel room, but it still blew my mind that I was having a suck buddy affair with Wells. "I thought you would have changed out of the suit."

I almost regretted saying it. Carson's had an incredible body that filled out his suit pretty damn well. He had a muscle build that you wouldn't think would be in a slimmer cut suit, but the combo was incredible.

Carson just grinned and replied, "It reminds me of our first time in Denver, Boss." Damn, he was on the same wavelength all right. He tugged at the knot in tie. "This is a new tie, though," he added, starting to remove it. "The rest I can get dry cleaned if I need to."

I was getting hard. I hoped Carson wouldn't have any real issues today, but the idea that he didn't seem afraid of them was kind of hot.

He draped his tie over a chair then knelt down on a folded towel, his body looking both bigger and smaller beneath me as he got in cocksucking position in his suit. As I stepped up, he ran his hands up my own suit trousers, not feeling me up really, more just going right for my cock. "OK if I suck a little to get started, Boss?" he asked, already unzipping me and reaching in to fish out my boner. "You know, prime the pump?"

"Have at it, Wells," I assured him, feeling my erection throb in his touch, which paled to the wonderful sensation of his mouth slowly going down on me.

Carson was worked up and more than a little relaxed from the booze, and he got into it. I almost thought he'd chicken out of the Countdown Game and just suck me off the old fashioned way. But finally he pulled back and licked his lips. Carson took a deep breath and looked up at me, green eyes looking excited. "All right, Boss, I'm ready."

My dick was wet with his spit and rock hard. "You sure, Wells?" I teased, but also giving him an out if he wanted.

"Yeah," he replied. "Go for it."

"All right," I said. "Go...."

Carson leaned forward and gave a soft grunt as he swallowed me to the hilt. The first couple were always tough for him, as he retrained his throat to accept my thickness. Still, he knew he had this, and I knew he did, too, sucking me all the way down to the pubes. It was hot as fuck to watch.

"One..." I counted, and just as gradually, Wells pulled back. There was a soft plop when he pulled off.

"Hot..." Carson muttered.

"All right," I said, in implicit instruction for him to go down on me again. He nodded and once again took my dick into his mouth. He was still working me slow, and once he was there, I counted. "One... two...."

He backed off, eager for air. I was getting a little nervous how this was going to go this time. It had been a couple of months since we'd done this, and the last time it hadn't gone well. I didn't know for sure what was going on in Carson's head but the fear of retching might be a problem in itself.

"Just remember, you can tap out any time, Carson," I assured him.

"I know, Boss," he replied. "I'm got this." He didn't wait for my instruction. Already he was going for another round.

"Fuck!" I muttered, then remembered my job. His nose was already mashed in my crotch fur so he'd been getting an extra second out of this one. "One... two.... three..."

Wells had a proud grin when he pulled off. He was more composed and focused now. I didn't countdown when he was off my cock, but in my head I gave as much time off as on. So, once I hit three seconds in my head, I nodded.

"All right, Wells," I said.

Carson licked his lips then went down on me, faster this time. He was getting used to deep throating now, and within a second he was all the way down to the base.

"One... two..." I slowed the count just a little, getting off on Carson's self-control. "three... four..."

"Fuck," the guy said after he came up and took a breath.

"Too much?" I asked, checking in.

"Nope," he assured me, though not taking his eyes off my cock. He was getting ready for round five.

"Have at it," I said finally.

Now that he'd tamed his gag reflex, it was a quick descent. I realized Carson was working on a faster deep throat so he'd have more breath for the countdown. I don't know why I hadn't thought of suggesting that in my training.

My voice was getting a horny edge now. "One... two... three... four... five..." I didn't stretch out the count this time. I figured poor Wells had more ahead of him.

He pulled off, face flushed. I looked down to see him in his youthful handsomeness, trimmed beard soaked in his spit, his chest puffing out his dress shirt and spreading the lapels of his suit coat.

"Go..." I said again.

This time was even faster. Carson practically speared his own throat with my hard cock.

"One... two... three... four... five... six..."

He was feeling it now, but when he pulled back he gave a satisfied nod, even as some saliva dripped down his bearded chin. He started to wipe it off, but I urged, "Leave it." He looked up at me, green eyes twinkling. "You're a kinky fucker, Boss," he laughed.

"Pretty much," I laughed in agreement. The moment broke the spell a little, but that was a good thing, since it gave Wells more recovery time.

I let him take the initiative to get on me again. Descent number seven was slower, which made the countdown tougher for him. By the time I got to six he was struggling some, face going red and tear running down his cheek. "Easy..." I assured him, between counts six and seven. But he made it to the end and pulled off quickly, sucking in some air. I was realizing the deep breaths were less about air than about Carson reestablishing his own sense of bodily control.

Silently, in my head I counted to seven, then gave a stern but reassuring, "All right..."

He'd learned his lesson too well. He speared his throat with my dick once more, only that was the wrong move. "One..." I started and then Carson's gag reflex kicked in. I expected him to pull off, in defeat. I didn't think it was a full on retch gag, but it threatened to be.

Only the guy mustered his willpower and swallowed it all back, keeping himself fully buried in my pubes. "Holy fuck!" I gasped, then realizing Carson was going to keep going, I resumed my count. I gave him the benefit of the seconds he'd been down on me. "... four... five... six..." Wells was entering his zen state. Having surpressed his gagging once, he was keeping calm and steady with my cock lodged deep in his throat. "seven... EIGHT!" I emphasized the last number to acknowledge the achievement Wells had done.

He pulled off not fast, not slow. It was like he was afraid anything sudden would trigger something. I watched in excitement as big string of mucus connected my cock head and his lips, till it broke from my dick and landed on Carson's dress shirt, instantly darkening the pale blue cotton.

I hadn't been close to cumming, and the alcohol I'd had would probably insure I wouldn't real soon. But this was the first time I felt that telltale tingle in my nuts. I'd been so focused on Carson's progres, but now I was getting really fucking turned on.

He started to wipe off his chin but remembered my preference to see it all dripping and stopped himself. He took a few deep breaths and steadied himself.

"Another," I said. I didn't let him get to eight seconds off.

He had a real determined look on his face as he swallowed me again. I think the mucus-y spit helped lube the descent and very soon he was deep throating me. "One... two... three... four... five..." Carson was quivering, face turning red again. "You got this buddy," I assured him, then resumed, "seven... eight.... nine!"

"Fuck!" Wells muttered when he came up again. His eyes were watering but he was real fucking into this. In every way Carson was testing his limits this time and doing really well at it. "God, I love your dick, Boss," he added, his voice thick with his own mucus.

"Gonna go for ten, Wells?" I asked.

"Yeah, I wanna," he said. "Been thinking about this."

Damn. "All right," I urged. "Swallow me."

He did, again perfecting the fast but not too fast swallow. For the first four, he held perfectly still. "Five..." Carson's eyes watered now and I could see him fight himself. "six.. seven..." The guy started gagging, but as I counted he swallowed it down. "eight... nine..." Then came a deeper grunt from him as he fought to hold it. "Ten!"

When Wells pulled off that string of slime was real thick, milky in color and frothy as it plopped off my cock. Some landed on my suit trousers and some splattered on the towel below, but a good half landed on Carson's dress shirt.

"Damn, Boss," he gasped, overwhelmed by all of the sensations and emotions of this act. It was a lot for Carson to deal with.

I paused and felt my prick jerk in excitement. This was crazy hot. I no longer counted in my head but just gave Carson a beat to recover before saying. "Let's do this buddy," I urged.

He nodded gamely but I could sense his apprehension. "OK," he muttered then went down on me. I could see from his eyes that he realized he was descending too slow and a fear swept over him that he'd messed up this round.

I ran my fingers through his silky blond-ish hair. "You're good Wells," I assured him. "Come on, you've been a real trooper so far.... just one more round..." Then softly, but with a regular count I spoke. "two... three...." A slight gag came but nothing big. ".... four... five..." My own voice was getting excited now, seeing Wells push his limits. Count five after going multiple rounds was a LOT harder than round five the first time. And even as he grunted and wiggled his body some to fight his own body, Wells kept at it. "...six... seven...." Wells gagged and pulled off. I thought that was it for round eleven, but after with drawing an inch, he gulped down and was back at it, pushing into the hilt once more. "We good?" I asked, then taking Carson's stillness as a response, I continued. "... nine.... ten...." I could see his eyes really tearing. This was tough on Wells. But he was almost there. "ELEVEN!"

Wells wasn't slow in getting off this time. He practically spit out my dick and with it a heavy rope of his own slime, which mostly clung to his beard. His eyes were tearing up as he looked up at me. "Damn, Boss!"

"Fuck, man," I hissed, running my fingers along Carson's hair. I hoped this wasn't too gay, touching him like this, but I wanted to let him know how appreciative I was of what he'd just done. I tried reading his mood. "You up for another Wells?" I asked.

"Tapping out, Boss," he replied.

I nodded. "You did great, Carson," I said. "Incredible."

"Give me a second, and I can take care of you," he offered. "Like you like."

"You mean...?" I had an idea of what he was getting out.

The guy had a big grin. "Merry fucking Christmas, boss," he chuckled. "I know you like it a little messy...."

"You're already a mess, Wells," I said looking down on the vision of his knelt body. He didn't seem to have any spit or slime on his suit but his shirt was soaked with it and some still clung to his beard.

Carson smirked. Maybe if he hadn't been a little tipsy himself he would have felt more self-conscious. "Just ease up if I give the signal, OK?"

"Oh yeah," I agreed. "Tap my leg anytime and I'll ease up."

I gave him another second to recover, but I was real turned on. I guided my dick back to his wet lips and pressed in. I held on to the back of his head and gave slow, gentle thrusts into his skull.

"Fuck yes," I hissed. I had a pretty good read of Wells' response and what he could take but I was starting off cautious.

Then Carson deep throated me and I held his head against my crotch. I felt his body hunch a little and heard a soft gag. "Gonna make some slime for me, buddy?" I head another soft gag, then I pulled back to see my handiwork. There it was, all of that beautiful mucus, frothed up and clinging to my cock.

Carson was teary eyed but actually turned on too. "Damn, Boss," he muttered as I pulled back to show it off to him.

"So good, Wells." My dick was wet and the viscous throat spit clung to me rather than drip off. "Spit some more on me, buddy."

He got a lewd grin and gathered the spare spit in his mouth to slobber it on my dick. It wasn't as thick, but was a combo of regular saliva with the leftover slime.

"Fuck yes," I muttered. Then, "I gotta get off, buddy. Bad."

He nodded his agreement and I gripped his head again to steady it for a final face fuck. I didn't go hard charging with the deep throat. Instead I got off on working that slime, which got looser the more it combined with Carson's new saliva. It began making squishy sounds and was now running freely from his chin and all over my crotch. I'd regret putting my suit through this abuse, but I was turned on this all. The nastiness of it, and the physical sensations. The slickness made Carson's mouth turn into a real fleshjack feel on my prick. I started cumming.

"Shit!" I gasped as the pusles of cum shot out into Carson's sucking mouth. The whole scene had worked me up big time and I had about eight solid jets to that ejaculation. I was feeling sensitive at last.

I pulled back, hyperventilating as Carson unzipped for his own release. It took like three tugs and he was cumming too. He finally pulled up a towel to wipe off.

"I'm afraid I didn't get you a Christmas present, Wells," I quipped.

He smiled, those green eyes meeting mine. "It's OK, Boss. I think I got my present right there."

I swear my cock jerked when he said that. But I had a pressing matter on my hand. "OK if I go clean off?"

He nodded, and I went to the bathroom to wipe off the mess from our my crotch. Lessoned learned.

When I got back, Carson was gathering up the towels and getting back to normal.

"I wasn't sure you'd go for that, Carson," I said. "But that was incredible."

He gave me a knowing grin. "I guess I got freaked out last time," he explained. "But I want this too. You know, the training," he added with a blush.

I thought for a second. "How about this, Wells? You find a video you like, that turns you on. Send it to me."

He smiled. "I can do that, Boss." Then he seemed more pensive. "You think anyone at work suspects anything."

I didn't have to think about it, because I was always keenly aware of that possibility and nervous about. "I'm pretty sure they don't," I said. Then, I added, "I think we're playing it right. But if you wanna cool it..." I offered.

"We'll see," Carson said. "But I'm good for now. Like I say, I wanna go further... explore this."

It was a little awkward after that. With a gay fuck buddy, there would be a goodnight kiss, or at least a hug or something. And with Carson before I'd slip back into buddy mode. I didn't always know how to adapt to ex-frat-boy ways, but in finance I knew how to well enough.

Only after I abused Carson's throat and tested his limits, that felt weird now, too, giving him a fist bump and telling him I'd see him around.

Still, I felt alive and excited as I got out in the cold night air and made my way home. I hadn't told Carson this, but hands down this had been the most exciting sex I'd ever had.

[cutthroatcarnival]

Febuwhump Alt Prompt 7: Last Words (AKA Day 12)

Tags/Warnings: Referenced character death (The Shadow)

The journey is over, and it’s time to say goodbye.

Read it on AO3!

A Parting

The field was quiet, devoid of the sounds of battle from mere minutes ago. A gentle breeze swept through, twirling and dancing around the heroes as they stood, all swords raised skywards. It was done. The enemy had been slain.

Hyrule shivered as he felt the overwhelming presence of magic in the air, like crisp winter air, curling around the nine of them, bathing the area in a shimmering gold veil.

“Heroes… You have fought well… Valiantly… Your journey draws to a close…” The voice chimed, quietly authoritative, drawing the attention of the mentioned heroes to the swirling gold that had appeared.

Portals. They would be going home. Hyrule felt his chest clench and throat close, eyes stinging as reality fell upon them. He could see Wind sobbing, clutching to Warriors, as the older hero gently shushed him, cradling him gently with silent tears.

Next to him, a little ways away, Time held Twilight and Wild in a hug, refusing to let go of the family years ahead of him, clutching onto them for dear life. Hyrule turned to face more sobbing; Sky, the culprit of said sobbing, was curled around a teary eyed Four, both wore smiles.

A throat being cleared behind him made Hyrule jump, whipping around to see Legend, who offered him a hand with a soft smile. When he took it, he was a little surprised to be pulled into a hug. Hyrule wrapped his arms around Legend, feeling as the other trembled. The tears Hyrule had been holding back spilled over, darkening the red tunic he buried his face into.

“I’m sorry that your world fell into decline, that you grew up in a place of constant danger,” Legend’s voice was quiet and shaky, “But you’ve been so brave, despite everything thrown your way.” The pink haired hero laughed wetly, pulling away enough to see Hyrule’s face.

“I see too much of myself in you, and that admittedly terrifies me,” Hyrule swallowed back a sob, “Even with that fear, I know how incredible and capable of a hero you are. I’m proud you’re my successor.”

The floodgates broke, Hyrule slumping forward as he sobbed, burying his face into Legend’s tunic, feeling the other hero wrap him tightly in a hug. The wetness seeping through his own tunic alerted him to the fact that Legend was also crying, making him clutch tighter at the veteran.

They slowly parted, tears glistening on their cheeks and in their eyes, making their way back to the others, in a similar state of teary-eyed. The humming of the portals grew louder, beckoning them back home. Wild stepped forward, holding what appeared to be a book to his chest.

“I asked Purah for her help with these to make sure they’d withstand anything.” The scarred hero handed him a small leather book, Link; Hero of Hyrule scrawled on the front in loopy handwriting. Inside the book were pictures of their time together, captured memories so they could never forget and get to reminisce.

Hyrule approached Time, slightly staring at his blank eye that was open, as he focused on the books in his hands- it seemed Wild had given him two, one for himself and one for Malon. The older hero glanced over at him, a soft smile playing on his face, and pulled Hyrule into a side hug.

The magic of the portals started to tug on them, slowly losing patience as they said their goodbyes. Hyrule removed himself from Time’s side, shuffling over the portal that called out for him, noticing the others had done the same, except for Twilight, who walked over to time with a bag in his hands. Hyrule knew what was in there, he had placed things in there after all, blinking back more tears.

As Twilight moved to stand in front of his portal, Time spoke, “Whenever there is a meeting, a parting shall follow. A salesman on my quest had told me this, and now I believe I fully understand it.”

The golden light began to envelop the heroes, readying to pull them back to their home eras, “It’s no longer dangerous to go alone, now that I have you all with me… in heart, mind, and spirit.” Hyrule choked out, watching the emotions on the others faces before being swallowed by golden light.

[archetype-earth]

Ikemen Prince Characters + You Coming Out as Trans (Part 1 / Domestic Affairs)

Jin Grandet - Honestly had some sort of inkling. The way you don't want to wear certain outfits, or say certain things. Just couldn't put his finger on it until now. - Very obvious, but he's incredibly supportive. - Matches the tone in which you come out. If you try to be light-hearted about it, he'll throw in a joke or two to keep the mood light, but let you know he's fully on your side. - If you're serious when you say so, or maybe even shed a few tears, he's serious as well. He'll wipe your tears, make sure you know he's taking this as seriously as you want him to. - Open to help you dress as the gender you are, not the one you were born as. Trust me, he's actually quite fashionable, and whether you want to stand out or fit in, he's got you. Leon Dompteur - Knew something was up, but patiently let you take your own pace in coming out. He might've seemed cool and composed, as he gave you advice beforehand, but he was incredibly worried about the burden you were carrying. - Supportive. Duh. - Despite him not being able to keep awake while reading, he searches throughout the library to see if there's any books (non-fiction or otherwise) that might help you connect. - Will, honestly—if you're okay with it—take you into his arms and tell you how proud he is of you. It isn't easy to unapologetically be yourself, but it's when you shine the brightest. He always loves it when you shine. - If you're okay with this as well, then he'll proudly introduce you as your authentic self and will correct anyone who says otherwise. Yves Kloss - Might or might not get this whole thing, but he knows very well what it's like to be hated and vilified about who you are. - ...So, of course, he's very supportive. He's nothing if not a very caring person! - Very prone to crying when you come out. Thinking about any hardships you might have or will face breaks his heart. - Another part of the fashion squad. Though, he might pick clothes that make you stand out, so forgive him if you want a more quiet approach—he just wants to make sure you always look your best. - Will most definitely bake a congratulations cake—or any other dessert that strikes your fancy. Licht Klein - Doesn't really get it. He'll think about it and the intricacies for a long while. - Don't get me wrong, though, he's very supportive. He might go out of his comfort zone to ask his more knowledgeable brothers just to see if he can do anything for you. - Very quietly supportive. He's just glad you have people you can trust enough to tell. - He's also another one to know what it's like to be hated for something you can't control, so while he's usually overprotective anyways, he'll cling a bit closer just to make sure nobody's out to get you. - If they haven't already (somehow), he'll ask the other Domestic Affairs Faction members to help cheer you up in a way he not might be able to.

[moonpool-system]

Ok so for questions, i think i'll send a bunch.

- How it feels to switch?

- Do you talk to each other?

- Are switches completely uncontrollable all the time or it's fluctuates?

- who is the oldest fictive in the system, in terms of being in the systems, not age in source? How much they changed?

- some examples of fictive being extremely different from source?

- Is there fictives of ongoing series/game/etc which don't have end yet? How they react to their original and plot? Can they watch it, or they prefer not to? Does it mess with their memories?

- silly question. Let's say you are werewolf, and everyone can choose one animal for themself, instead of a wolf to become it. what would be the most popular choice, and what everyone thinks? How they approach it?

Hello! Thank you for your patience!

🌌 Switching feels different depending on the member and situation, tbh! Our monoconscious switches feel basically like a slow sort of shapeshifting. We start out feeling like one member, and there's an in-between period of feeling like someone stirred together too many colors into a mush, and we come out the other side re-formed into the other member. We don't know what happens to monoconscious members that leave front/the consciousness- sometimes they're gone for months, and feel like they've been unconscious/unaware the entire time when they return. As for polyconscious members though, for us it usually feels like letting go of control and allowing the perspective of the other person/member to take your place. Falling out of front sort of feels like dozing off to sleep for me since my subsystem can't enter headspace, but the line between fully fronting and simply co-conscious is much thinner than we used to think. Sometimes we won't even notice before someone in co-con slips into front, using the body for themselves. "Front" is a doubly accurate word here because the person most in front often feels like the one that's "facing forwards the most" toward the outside world. When unintentional (polycon) switches happen there's usually a block of dissociation in the middle as well, where we feel like nothing (rather than color soup for monocon ones) for a little bit. In general, a full switch takes between 5 and 20 minutes for us.

🌌 We talk to each other frequently, even though our actual ability to call people to co-con outside of our frequent fronters is a little sketchy depending on where they are in headspace. Our communication is part of what keeps us grounded and stable; being able to hear each other lessens our paranoia and allows us to hang out or work together without needing to all be fully fronting. Things our co-conscious members say simply sound like a mental voice that's different from mine/ours- when we're texting others, the member most in front proxies out the words said by other members so that they don't need to use the body to type.

🌌 It fluctuates! Rarely they're uncontrollable, sometimes they're involuntary but we're able to pull in who we need to if we force it, and sometimes they're voluntary enough that the old fronter makes the choice to let go whilst the new fronter makes the choice to "slip in".

🌌 The earliest known fictive in the system is a Peridot (Steven Universe) fictive that formed around when we were 14 or so, but they're so incredibly quiet and keep to themself, so we don't know much about them actually. The secondmost though is Akira (Persona 5)- ae formed around high school, when we needed to advocate for ourselves due to autism and high school troubles. He used to be our main host, loud and proud about our disability(/ies, but we didnt know that at the time). Nowadays ae actually separated into two versions of aerself- one that stayed with the Prism subsystem and another that ended up outside it. The two are connected intrinsically, and both are constantly burnt out and enjoy cooking/food. The latter one runs a café/bar/lounge in headspace and likes to flirt around lol

🌌 We have quite a few fictives from sources that haven't ended yet- the one that's been around most lately is Pomni (The Amazing Digital Circus). A lot of our fictives consider their exomemories a past life under Chaos Theory regardless of origin; it's most common for fictives to be mostly canon-compliant with a few divergent memories. So when we watch more of source, it tends to either clear up foggy memories or give our members something to compare/contrast against. Not many of our fictives watch their source actively in front, but they (usually) end up getting the information on what happened regardless. Most of our fictives are fairly source-positive, but that doesn't mean things can't be rough sometimes- episode 2 of TADC still has Pomni a little shaken. (I wouldn't be mentioning it here if she hadn't made a vent post earlier, privacy and all)

🌌 This is a fun question!! We have a lot of nonhumans but not too many animals/creatures/etc, so it's easier to get a rough estimate among our members lol. Most of our Creatures™ are cat-coded or like in-between felid and canid in some way- we actually have an original species in the system as well, so I think we'd probably go with this!

Here's a picture of Kit, one of our members of the species! It's roughly sourced from the Slugcats from Rain World, but clearly a lot has shifted and changed ahaha. We'd probably choose this form for were-purposes- our more creature™ members would feel so much more comfortable. Plus, being able to be so physically athletic while transformed would be great for a lot of our cooped-up members!

Thank you so much for the questions! Have a lovely day!

[crazylittlejester]

since it’s almost Hyrule Warriors anniversary…do you have any lttc warriors facts you’d like to share 🤲 also I’m going to draw him as part of my drawing links from different links meets thing I do for each game’s anniversary. It will happen I promise you so uh. idk if you have additional facial descriptors for him that you left in the other posts 🤲 but I’m pretty sure I can draw him accurately enough with the information already provided 👍 anyways, hope you have a good rest of your day!

OH BOY A CHANCE TO YAP ABOUT MY BLORBO!!!!!!

- Zelda keeps trying to promote him and he keeps refusing and she’s so frustrated by it, but he refuses to accept a promotion for something he doesn’t believe he accomplished

- He genuinely thinks he’s so sneaky with the lifts he has in his boots, he’s genuinely convinced no one knows

- Proxi can acknowledge how much he’s grown, but she still sees him as her wet cat son who just desperately needed someone to look out for him. She’s very proud of him, but she still thinks he’s ridiculous

- It took him a hot minute to become fluent enough in ‘hyrulian common’ (english) to be able to understand fast conversations with slang in them and to be able to speak back and converse with other soldiers at that level because it’s not his first language (this is why he sometimes stares at people with an incredibly blank expression during the war, he doesn’t always understand what they’re saying). Proxi continued to speak on his behalf until he’d perfected a castle town accent as well because he didn’t want anyone knowing he didn’t grow up within Hyrule kingdom

-Regularly abuses the fact that the general public has a certain image of him in their minds, and when he does not meet that image he can literally walk around wherever the hell he wants without being recognized and it’s so good for his mental health. He’s still paranoid and worried, but people just don’t recognize him because they hear all the tales of a strong, confident young man and Warriors is actually fairly quiet and comes off as a bit shy, plus people just aren’t expecting the hero to randomly be walking around on his own. Without the make up, fancy clothes, and boots and all that, he can just walk around markets like a normal person, and without the green tunic, Mask can too. So he’d pretty regularly just take Mask around towns to buy sweet treats and they both got to experience what it might’ve been like for an eighteen year old to shop with his little brother

- During the war, he and Ravio got quite close. They’re a dangerous combination and make each other worse

- He and his Zelda are incredibly close, they’re extremely good friends and they like to get together every so often and just YAP

also for any additional descriptors: LTTC Wars looks pretty much exactly like how I headcanon LU Wars. He was deadass created from You’re A Part Of Me Wars when I one day sat back and went “oh my god at this point I’ve just made my own guy-” the main difference between LTTC Wars and You’re A Part Of Me Wars is that LTTC Wars grew up outside of Hyrule Kingdom surrounded by a different culture and he struggled a lot more with a language barrier when he went to Castle Town (while my version of LU Wars grew up IN Hyrule Kingdom and had to struggle with learning his mom’s side of the family’s culture while being unable to fully interact with it), and a few details of the war. But physically they’re the same guy, so my pfp pic could be used as an additional ref if you needed :) THANK YOU FOR DRAWING MY GUY I LOVE HIM VERY MUCH

i love to stick lttc wars and you’re a part of me wars in a room and see what happens, they’d both hate it but I think theyd have so much to say

[holocene-sims]

simblr new years resolutions 2024!

thank you @stargazer-sims so much for tagging me!! ❤️✨🌟

not sure who has done this one yet but i'll tag 💌 @seyvia @simmersofia @mangosimoothie @minty-plumbob @queeniecook @dandylion240 @mmmatchasims @thebramblewood @aheathen-conceivably @nectar-cellar @igglemouse & anyone who sees this and wants to do it!

honestly, i have never made a new years resolution in my life, so this is a fun exercise to try out for once!

what's your resolution for your simblr?

this is VERYYYYY ambitious but i want to fully complete the core "everything the stars promised" and move on to doing side content and MOST IMPORTANTLY the more loosey goosey fun epilogue :)

april 15th of this year will mark the second anniversary of the story! i've done so much and yet at the same time, so little in the grand scheme of the plot i have in mind. i randomly checked today to see how many pages on my blog the story takes up and we're at 31 pages! so, uh, about 15 pages a year - not sure if that's good progress or not but oh well! we are getting close to the extra exciting parts of the story, and i would love to finish it all up this year, you know? finish on a nice round even anniversary number and with a bunch of plot point bangers lolol

but we'll see! it's possible, maybe, since i'm graduating college this semester and will have more free time for a while, at least i as figure out the work situation and probably even while working whenever i do get a job since nightly homework will no longer exist LMAO, but even if it's not possible, i am definitely promising myself to work harder on the story! i really do love this thing despite it all and i'm proud of it, and i want to see how much i can keep improving it so that the ending is truly the best part <3

what do you want from the sims franchise?

a sale on kits lmfaoooo!!! (which will never happen) i have exactly 5 dollars left over from an old gift card someone gave me for ea app when it was still origin. it's exactly enough for a kit except that sales tax adds on 7 cents and the gift card leftovers don't cover that.

yeahhhh...i'm neither charging 7 cents for sales tax nor 5 bucks for a second kit to my credit card. no, ma'am. i want that shit for FREE

any other new years resolutions?

don't become incredibly depressed by the shock of leaving the school system after almost 23 years of life and the horrors of figuring out the whole...life and career...thing

lol this resolution will be broken

so, how about an achievable one? read more books and write more actual prose, whether for my sims story or for something else. i've been so burnt out from academia that it's all stopped being fun. like even my sims story has been such a drag to create because i just have zero desire to write, to work on the outline, or find inspiration.

and that really sucks. writing and reading have been a huge part of my life for so long and they mean a lot to me, but right now they do feel exhausting. i'm tired of looking at a word document and wanting to bash my head into the keyboard because it reminds me of writing project proposals and boring shit instead of good fiction.

but i'm hoping the freedom from academia will spark joy in my literary hobbies again, and i'm going to try and bring back my love for them myself :) not sure how but aside from finding a way to work on the sims story more, i'm thinking maybe i'll commit to trying out more short-form writing prompts.