#me as. you have to learn how to get people to realize that youre so much more than Nerdy Indian Kid. and that's hard. and so i have this

[tarotbyjam24]

messages from your future spouse

Likes , reblogs and feedbacks are very much appreciated 💗

Masterlist \pick a cards

Disclaimer: This is general reading . It may or may not resonate . If reading doesn't resonate let it fly and choose another pile or simply there were no messages for you through this reading 😊 Take the reading lightly as nothing's set in stone until you believe so🕊️

Thankyou for stopping by let's dive in ☄️,shall we ? Choose the pile you feel most drawn to 🧸

Pile 1

Anyone who takes the time to be kind is beautiful .

Some people don't change no matter how hard you try.

But we can not simply sit and stare at our wonds forever .

You spread joy because you're joy that's what I admire most about you .

First love teaches us what love isn't .

It's better to feel the hurt of honesty then to live in a false comfort of lie .

The secret of life is to be obsessed with yourself and be kind to everyone around you.

Some days are just heavy .

Everything you lost will be replaced with something better.

Imagine being loved the way you love .

Pile 2

You haven't met the best version of yourself yet don't give up

when you choose yourself everything around you will choose you too

remember you can start again over and over as often as you need

people don't cry because they're weak it's because they've been strong for too long

the little things ? little moments ? they aren't little

perhaps we should learn to love ourselves so loudly , it silences our insecurities

I love seeing you happy

it happened so that you could grow

you will forever be my always

do it for your future self

Pile 3

You can't go back and change the beginning but you can start where you're and change the ending

expect nothing appreciate everything

you can also comit injustice by doing nothing

be patient. Sometimes you've to go through the worst to get best

how many time can the same thing break your heart ? As long as you love it

find joy in simple things life will always be fulfilling

In the end, I realized the hurt never turned to hate. No matter how much my emotions led me to feel so. I never stopped loving people. I stopped trusting them.

The art of observing and not absorbing

Not liking me is fine, but making up lies to destroy my character is weird.

Keep it private until you know it's permanent

Imagine being loved the way you love .

Pile 4

First love teaches us what love isn't .

Discipline is the strongest form of self love .

She's an old soul with young eyes, a vintage heart, and a beautiful mind

people talk about me behind my back and i just sit here like damn i got myself a fan club

It takes grace to remain kind in cruel situations .

Forgive yourself for the mask you wore when you didn't feel safe enough to be yourself

YOU DON'T NEED EVERYONE TO love you, JUST A FEW GOOD PEOPLE

may every hour in your soul be golden, may it be filled with endless magic .

Vibes to carry through out the week

You're not sensitive. You're not overreacting. If it hurts you, it hurts you. Don't let anyone invalidate your feelings. Ever

I hope you liked the reading . Thank you so much for letting me read for you . Wishing you best ahead . 🎀 Bless you and have a nice day 🫶🏻

Loads of love , jam\gem

Exchanges : open , collabs for paps : open

[plaidos]

hi, it's the tgirl who showed up during your twitch stream for support after having her world shattered by the realization she's a woman. i've so far been very privileged in my life but my parents are dropping me entirely after this semester of college and i've been terrified by the ramping up of transphobic legislation & general rise of fascism in the United States. thank you for talking about how things are in the UK, it's really been helpful in keeping myself grounded.

i hope things get better for all of us everywhere soon, and I hope I've not been too much of a bother to you either

i’m glad that i was helpful, but i think something needs to be said — you yourself said that you had lived a privileged life until now so I’m going to assume you are also white so i can see why you think i that the US has been getting considerably worse lately but like…. it hasn’t really changed that much, people are just able to talk about it on social media now. like, people my parents’ age/generation lived during racially segregated bathrooms; this stuff isn’t new at all, it’s just new to you because you’ve been thrown in the deep end of learning you’re a minority.

speaking of segregated bathrooms, it is absolutely scary that the US is implementing anti-trans bathroom bills — but these bills are only being presented as a resistance to trans rights progressing. twenty years ago in most places there didn’t need to be bathroom bills because nobody was gonna stick up for the tranny when we got kicked out of a bathroom. so in some ways this legislation only exists because people have conceded we exist and can’t just be ignored and easily put out of mind.

things seem rough right now but they’ve always been rough. there has never been in a time in recent history where being trans has been easy. and i promise, as dire as it seems out there, there has never been a better time to communicate, co-operate & collaborate with other trans women worldwide.

it’s going to be okay. like i said, you jumped in the deep-end. coming out as trans is like jumping in to a pool to get over the cold. you’ll acclimatise, i promise. and it’s actually better in here. even if it’s a little cold. you’ve always wanted to go swimming, after all, right? 😊

[moonandst4rs]

“She’s always a woman to me”

── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ──── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

Masterlist

AARON HOTCHNER X F!READER

WC: 673

Summary: Aaron sees you for you. He sees the woman behind the job

Warnings / Content: Inspired by She's always a woman - Billy Joel. no use of y/n, no dialogue

A/N: Feel free to ask questions or simply chat. Any feedback and requests are welcome !! Reblogs and comments are very much appreciated <3

Being a woman is hard. Being a woman in power, working as a Section Chief in the FBI only magnifies the weight you carry. It isn’t just the job, it’s about navigating Bureaucratic nonsense. You have to balance authority with expectations, from yourself and others. Five teams. Five different teams of personalities, skills and egos yjay you have to manage day in and day out. Some are polite and show you respect—others, not so much. Aaron Hotchner’s team, to their credit, are professional. Mostly.

You’ve grown tough over the years. You had to. The world doesn’t let women in your position be soft without paying the price. If you’d let yourself be trampled, ignored, or undermined even once, you wouldn’t be here now, standing tall as Section Chief of the Behavioral Analysis Unit. The toughness, it isn’t armour, it’s more like something you’ve learned to carry with grace. You got here by knowing exactly when to hold your ground and when to bend, ever so slightly, so the world doesn’t break you. From a wide-eyed field agent to Section Chief of the Behavioral Analysis Unit, you’ve learned that balance. And you’ve learned how to carry the weight of other people’s lives along the way.

You do your job well. You’re proud of that. You make decisions not just for today, but for the future, for the safety of your agents, your teams. You’re steady, calm under pressure, always managing to keep the pieces from falling apart. You have to. But not everyone sees it that way. For some, you’ll always be the one in the way, the one enforcing rules they don’t want to follow. They call you harsh, cold, rigid. They talk about how you won’t let them work however they want. They forget there’s a reason the rules are there, a reason you stand so firm.

The names they call you, the insults, the accusations, they don’t hurt like they used to. There was a time when you’d lie awake at night, wondering if they were right. Now, you barely blink when they throw words your way. If anything, you’ve become somewhat detached, wishing, in a darkly amused way, that they would at least get creative. Give you something new to roll your eyes at. You’ve heard it all before. The same tired jabs, the same predictable bitterness. They don’t know how strong you really are, and they never will. Not the way Aaron does.

Aaron. He’s always there, quietly watching. He knows you can take it, he knows you’ve taken far worse, and that you’ll keep taking it because you refuse to let them see you falter. But even so, he insisted stepping in. Not always, and not in ways that make a scene, but it was enough. Enough to remind you that you don’t have to fight every battle alone. He challenges the ones who disrespect you when you’re not looking, stands by you when the weight of the world starts to feel a little too heavy. And even though you never asked for his protection, you’ve come to realize it’s something more. Something softer, something that breaks through the noise and makes you feel…seen.

You never wanted anyone to fight for you. You don’t need it. You’ve spent your life proving that you’re more than capable of fighting for yourself. But Aaron doesn’t fight to save you; he fights to remind you that you’re worth protecting. And in those moments, when his quiet strength meets yours, you realize just how much that means to you. More than you’d ever let on.

Despite everything, the long nights, the endless pushback, the harsh words, you keep going. Not because you’re unbreakable, but because you know what’s at stake. You fight for your teams because they deserve it. You stand firm because that’s who you are, and because you believe in the work you do, even when others don’t see it. And maybe, just maybe, because you know that there’s someone, someone like Aaron, who sees the woman behind the title.

[diekleinesuesse]

Being best friends with Felix:

Being best friends with Felix would be an absolute dream. It wouldn’t just be about the fun, bright moments though there would be plenty of those. It would also be about the quiet, comforting presence he brings, the way he makes life feel a little warmer, a little softer, even on the hardest days.

The Beginning of the Friendship

At first, Felix might be a little shy, especially if he doesn’t know you well yet. He’d be polite, kind, and considerate, but there would be a sense of caution until he starts feeling comfortable. Once that happens, it’s over for you. He’s going to attach himself to you like a koala and never let go.

Felix is the type of person who forms deep emotional connections, so becoming his best friend wouldn’t be a casual thing. He’d be all in investing his time, his love, and his energy into making sure you feel valued. He’d remember the little things you like, send you pictures of random things that remind him of you, and always check in to see how your day is going.

The Daily Life of Being Felix’s Best Friend

Felix is someone who thrives on making others happy, so expect a lot of cute gestures. If he hears you had a bad day, he’s immediately showing up with your favorite snack, a playlist of songs to cheer you up, and probably a warm hug. He loves baking, so you’d get to try all his homemade treats first, whether they’re perfect or a complete disaster.

“Try this one! I think I messed up the sugar, but it’s still edible, right?” he’d say, watching you closely as you take a bite. If you pretend it’s bad just to mess with him, he’d dramatically gasp and pretend to cry.

Felix would be the type of best friend who constantly hypes you up. If you’re feeling insecure, he’d shut that down real quick.

“What do you mean you’re not good enough? Do I need to fight you? Because I will,” he’d say, crossing his arms, his freckles scrunching up as he frowns.

But more than anything, he’d make sure you know how much you mean to him.

The Chaos of the Sunshine Energy

Felix has a soft, comforting side, but let’s not forget he’s also chaotic. If you’re his best friend, you’re not just getting cozy, warm Felix; you’re also getting the Felix that dances like a maniac to random music, who suddenly starts singing in a deep voice just to freak people out, and who laughs so hard at dumb jokes that he ends up on the floor.

“Did you see that meme I sent you at 3 AM?” he’d ask, as if that were a normal thing to do.

“You mean the one with the cat wearing sunglasses and breakdancing? Yes, Felix. I saw it.”

“And?”

“It changed my life.”

Felix would 100% drag you into random challenges, whether it’s trying to learn an impossible TikTok dance, doing “rock, paper, scissors” with the punishment of eating something disgusting, or making an overly dramatic music video to a song you both love.

And if you ever prank him? Oh, he’s coming for revenge. Be prepared for unexpected jump scares, your phone mysteriously disappearing, or waking up to find a ridiculous filter added to all your photos.

The Deep Conversations

For all the silliness, Felix is also incredibly introspective and deep. He’s not afraid to have emotional conversations, and if something is bothering you, he’d be the first to notice.

“Talk to me,” he’d say, voice gentle, sitting next to you even if you don’t feel like speaking.

He wouldn’t force you to open up, but he’d make sure you knew he was there. And if you ever needed to cry? Felix would let you, holding your hand or hugging you tightly, whispering soft reassurances.

He’d open up to you, too about his struggles, his fears, his dreams. And when he does, you’d realize that for all his sunshine and warmth, Felix also carries a lot on his shoulders.

“I just want to make people happy,” he’d admit. “But sometimes, I wonder if I’m enough.”

And that’s when you’d remind him, just like he always reminds you, that he is more than enough.

The Protective Side of Felix

Felix is a softie, but don’t let that fool you he’s also fiercely protective. If someone ever upsets you, he’d be ready to throw hands.

“Do I need to go talk to them? Because I will,” he’d say, eyebrows furrowed.

If you were nervous about something like an important event or a big decision he’d be right by your side, holding your hand (literally or metaphorically) and telling you you’ve got this.

Felix wouldn’t let anyone disrespect you, not even yourself. If he hears you being too hard on yourself, he’ll shut it down immediately.

“Hey. My best friend is amazing, and if they don’t see that, then they don’t deserve to be around you.”

Spending Time with Stray Kids

Being Felix’s best friend would also mean getting close to the other Stray Kids members. They’d tease Felix endlessly about how much he talks about you.

“Felix, do you have any friends besides [Your Name]?” Han would joke.

“Nope,” Felix would reply shamelessly.

The members would treat you like family, and Felix would love having you around during their schedules. You’d get to watch their rehearsals, joke around with them backstage, and be part of the fun.

And let’s not forget game nights at the dorm. Felix would absolutely drag you into Mario Kart battles, Just Dance competitions, and chaotic board games. If you beat him, he’d dramatically fall to the floor, claiming he’s been betrayed.

A Forever Friendship

At the end of the day, being best friends with Felix wouldn’t just be about the fun and chaos. It would be about unconditional love, support, and knowing that no matter what happens, you have someone who will always be there for you.

He’d be the kind of best friend who never lets you forget your worth, who makes life feel like an adventure, and who reminds you that even in the darkest times, there’s always light.

Because that’s who Felix is. A sunshine personified, a best friend anyone would be lucky to have.

[00valentina-writes00]

Abby w reader with ocd?

✞⛧ Abby with a girlfriend that has OCD ✞⛧

Warnings: I don’t have ocd, so if I got smth wrong or it’s offensive please tell me-

✞⛧ Abby notices before you ever say anything. The way you check the door multiple times before leaving, how your fingers hover over objects like you’re making sure they’re just right, the way your breathing changes when something feels off. She doesn’t say anything at first—just watches, takes note.

✞⛧ She doesn’t think it’s inconvenient, just… something to understand. Abby’s all about problem-solving, so when she realizes this isn’t something she can just fix for you, it frustrates her—not at you, but at how powerless she feels when she sees you struggling.

✞⛧ At first, she’s not sure what to do. She’s used to tangible problems—wounds she can stitch, enemies she can fight. This? This is different. But she’s patient. She listens. She learns.

✞⛧ Abby never gets annoyed at you. She gets annoyed at the way the world isn’t built for the way your mind works. When people rush you, when they make careless comments—that’s when you see her jaw clench, her grip tighten.

✞⛧ She figures out pretty quickly what makes things easier for you. If you have to check the door before leaving, she stands next to you, silent, never rushing. If things need to be in a certain order, she respects it. If she moves something by accident, she fixes it before you even notice.

✞⛧ If you have compulsions that hurt—scratching, picking, repeating actions until your skin is raw—Abby’s hands are right there to stop you, firm but gentle. She never shames you for it, just takes your hands in hers, rubs slow circles into your palms, reminds you to breathe.

✞⛧ She gets really good at grounding you. If you’re stuck in a spiral, she doesn’t say stop—she gives you something else to focus on. “Come here,” she’ll say, pulling you against her. “Tell me three things you can hear. Two things you can feel.” She keeps her voice steady, calm.

✞⛧ When you apologize—because you always do—she shakes her head. “Don’t. You don’t have to be sorry for this.” And she means it.

✞⛧ She hates when people treat you like you’re difficult because of it. If someone makes a snide comment about how long something takes, Abby’s right there with a glare that could shut down an entire conversation.

✞⛧ If routines help you, Abby builds them into her life like it’s second nature. You eat the same breakfast every morning? Guess who’s making sure it’s stocked. You need to wash your hands a certain way? She learns the pattern, does it with you sometimes.

✞⛧ When she catches you trying to hide it—masking, forcing yourself to act normal—it kills her. “You don’t have to do that with me,” she tells you one night, voice softer than usual. “You don’t have to pretend.”

✞⛧ If a compulsion is making you late, she doesn’t rush you. Doesn’t sigh, doesn’t roll her eyes, doesn’t make you feel guilty. She just waits. If you’re gonna be late, she figures, then you’ll be late together.

✞⛧ The first time she sees you have a breakdown over it—when the frustration, the exhaustion, the sheer weight of it all crashes down on you—she just holds you. Doesn’t try to fix it, doesn’t try to rationalize. Just lets you be.

✞⛧ She picks up on the things that trigger you before you even have to say them. Clutter? Uncertainty? The wrongness of something being out of place? She notices, and she does something about it.

✞⛧ If intrusive thoughts hit you hard, she’s the one grounding you back to reality. “It’s just a thought,” she reminds you, voice steady. “It doesn’t mean anything.”

✞⛧ When she learns that reassurance-seeking is part of it, she doesn’t mind repeating herself. “Yes, I locked the door.” “Yes, you turned the oven off.” “Yes, I love you.” She’ll say it a hundred times if it helps

✞⛧ She understands that it’s not just about being “neat” or “particular.” It’s not a quirk. She gets that. She takes it seriously.

✞⛧ If something feels wrong to you, she doesn’t dismiss it. She doesn’t say “it’s fine” or “just let it go.” If it matters to you, it matters to her.

✞⛧ She lets you explain things in your own time. She never pushes. Just listens. Always listens.

✞⛧ If you ever start spiraling in public, she subtly shifts into protector mode. Keeps you close, blocks out the noise, finds a quiet place if you need it.

✞⛧ She makes an effort to understand the science behind it. Reads about it. Asks questions. Not because she thinks she can fix you, but because she wants to know you.

✞⛧ When you feel like your mind is your worst enemy, she’s the one reminding you that you’re so much more than this.

✞⛧ She knows when you need space and when you need her. She never takes it personally if you need to be alone for a while.

✞⛧ She has this way of making you feel safe in your own head, even when it’s the last place you want to be.

✞⛧ If you get stuck in a loop, she finds little ways to break it—changing the subject, cracking a joke, touching you. A hand on your back, a thumb brushing over your knuckles, something to pull you out of it.

✞⛧ She never lets you think you’re a burden. Not once. Not ever. “You don’t have to do this alone,” she tells you, and she means it.

✞⛧ Abby doesn’t love you despite your OCD. She just loves you. All of you. The way you think, the way you are. And if the world makes things harder for you? Then she’ll stand between you and the world, teeth bared, always.

[undomesticated-animal]

Honestly, body euphoria has done WONDERS for my ability to keep a physical self care routine, and I keep thinking back to Young Domi being so fucking OVERWHELMED by the thought of having to haul myself through the daily gauntlet of mirrors, lights, smells, self-shaming, and dysphoria inducing body modifictions made in a desperate bid to feel worthy of my skin. The idea that this could ever be anything but NEUTRAL AT BEST was laughable to me, so much so that I didn't even realize how terrified I felt by the possibility it could be real.

I can't go back and tell Past Domi all the things I understand now that I know would have mattered so much, but I can say them on the internet and maybe someone gets to learn them faster than I did.

Body euphoria isn't just for trans and intersex folks. And I mean this more than just "oh cis people should get gender ephoria too" (it's true!) because I also mean that the idea that body euphoria/dysphoria is neatly segmented up into little slices of life with no crossover is unrealistic and painful for everyone. Thinking that I was only allowed to care about my euphoria around gender actually made it REALLY hard to recognize I was having DYSphoria around my gender at all. After all, I avoided thinking about that in exactly the same ways I avoided thinking about the dysphoria around other aspects of my embodiment! I must just be bad at body positivity, "it's always easier to do for others than for myself 🤗 teehee" was a go to blow off for me when people asked me to confront how visibly uncomfortable I was in my body.

Because the thing is, it ISN'T easier to do for others than yourself. It really isn't. The part that's easier is avoiding the shame we feel about it. But once we confront the shame, loving your body is the easiest thing in the world. <- this is gonna be where Past Domi went "oh fuck this noise" and bounced but HEAR ME OUT

A body you cannot live with is a body you cannot care for, and a body you can't care for is a body you will almost always struggle to live with. This feedback loop is the CORNERSTONE of body dysphoria for a lot of people. It's a chicken and egg situation where it's nearly always going to be impossible to know what came first, but once either is present, the other will kick into gear to really hunker down in your psyche.

The feedback loop works the other direction too though. This is why people tell you to find the little things that make a tiny difference. They are (usually) not telling you that it'll be enough on its own, but every one of those you find uncovers new ones, and little by little you start feeling up to bigger pieces of self care because you've recovered enough to start putting int the front-loaded work for the worthwhile outcome

When that upwards feedback loop clicks? It's night and day. Like I genuinely don't know how to describe what it's like to just sort of.....wake up different. But it happens all the time, and it KEEPS happening. And you start to realize you're not "waking up different" you're just....getting to know yourself without feeling so uncomfortable with what you're learning that you shy away from yourself

I dunno man, I don't have a point here, but I've been processing old grief lately and the grief of how long I spent viciously hating myself and truly believing that's what neutrality feels like.....Little-Domi deserved better, and so do yall

[dragonroar64]

im finally back with another pvpciv headcanon. I live my brain is finally having more thoughts than just a single sentence. good luck there's more angst ahead

okay so! in the most recent episode, y'know how Evbo goes and gets the other diamond swords to pay for things? that seems perfectly normal, right? wrong. Evbo can respawn. he could've just passed his sword off to whoever had the least amount of durability left and then came back down to buy things himself. but he didn't. he asked others for help(side note:I love the silly little found family going on here it brings me joy. look at them!!!).

my personal theory for why he'd ask the other diamond swords to buy these things for him is because he doesn't want to have to respawn ever again, or more accurately: he doesn't want to die ever again. I imagine if you'd died dozens if not hundreds of times you'd never want to do so again. not even on your own terms, not even when you're going to come back to people who care about you, not even if you wouldn't have to do it again any time soon. Evbo probably doesn't want to experience dying again, probably doesn't want to wake up in his room on the wooden sword level holding a weapon made of the weakest material around, much more vulnerable than he is anyways. do you think being there bothers him? do you think traveling down through the layers makes old memories and old pains flair up?

do you think that the other diamond swords know about this and try to help Evbo avoid going through it again? do you think that's why they help him pay for things without suggesting a respawn? do you think they're reluctant to send him out to the other civilizations? do you think they feel like he's a sort of annoying little brother to them, but still a brother and therefore someone they care about?

anyways I just think this found family thing going on w/the diamond swords should be explored more. like what if they saw how much he devolved on every trip to the golden sword level and just assumed his deterioration was caused just by the golden level itself and only learned later about what exactly happened on the iron sword level? they probably weren't watching all of his video journal updates. he probably didn't make one after every death. what if they didn't find out until just a little while before Evbo made it to the diamond swords level. or what if they didn't find out until after he made it back after Tabi killed him. what if he'd managed to stay strong up until he realized his closest friend didn't actually care about him and after the fact he just spilled his guts out about it to the diamond swords. what if they help him buy stuff because they don't want him to ever have to go through a respawn again

tldr what if the diamond swords help Evbo buy things in the newest episode because they know respawning is a horrible experience for him

[ediesguidetoeverything]

advice: detaching yourself from male validation & seeking relationships

here's the thing with high school relationships: they are so so fun. the idea of a first love is such a beautiful thing in my opinion, and I think everyone SHOULD experience at like a sort-of romantic relationship before college. this teaches people how to care for others, have communication skills, and serves to help you navigate future, more serious relationships later in life.

HOWEVER, you really, really, really shouldn't ever depend on this idea that you will find a perfect boyfriend or girlfriend in high school, that you'll be sweethearts and go to prom together and be this perfect, complete thing. because, to put it honestly, people think too much about themselves. especially at an age where you are still very much a kid, growing and learning and sometimes not taking others into consideration.

" so, what?" SO, here is how you navigate this incredible strong desire to obtain a boyfriend, or even just romantic attention from guys:

get a hobby. not one to impress anyone but yourself. if you like a guy who's super into film, you don't need to become a ' film girl'. find somethings that screams YOU. it can literally be anything you enjoy doing in your free time, ( i'll put up a link to suggestions here) but I'm personally advising something productive. which brings me to my next point...

get off your phone!!! i can't say enough about this, seriously. if you're constantly checking your socials, on tiktok/snap/insta, you will be taking in the lives of other people, whether it be your friends or complete strangers. this builds jealousy. a proven fact, depression and anxiety is present teenagers who use social media DOUBLE the amount of teens who don't. majority of these apps don't lead to anything good, and mainly serve as major distractions to other important aspects of your life. ( i know you're reading this on tumblr, but i'm here to tell you that my account is good vibes only luv y'all)

non-romantic social interaction is key. everyone needs environments where they are able to decompress, be ugly, be genuine, laugh and have a good time without the upkeep or stress of trying to look a certain way. this is what real friends are for. on top of this, good friends will shut down negative self-talk and hype you up like you deserve to be! spend time with people that make you feel good about yourself.

turning that all into confidence doesn't look like the simplest thing, but trust me, it can be effortless with time and sticking to what you know is best for yourself. putting your phone away creates less windows into other people's lives, which will in turn make you realize that those people you once obsessed over? not that important. reaching that step will be such a relieving feeling, and you won't regret it. putting your time into things you're interested will help you get to know yourself better, enjoy solitude, and will genuinely make you happier. the reason people encourage things like this in the first place is because they work!! the final results of doing these things will look like a self-confidant queen, who doesn't chase, but attracts.

[wendylianmartin]

There is something I realized about the story that I wanted to touch on. Kappa and Siren both seem to have given up on their dream, and they just keep going for each other. They are not living for themselves, but for someone else, which is not healthy at all…and I love it. Seriously, I love it so much. It's funny, because I tend to despise that dynamic when I see it in stories, because I don't like how it tends to idealize that kind of relationship. But in Castle Swimmer, not only do I prefer it that way, I wouldn't want it any other way. Sure, it's unhealthy and not ideal, but that's the thing… Siren and Kappa are neither healthy nor ideal.

These two boys have both been through so much in their lives, they have been through so much trauma, they have dealt with so many emotions that it has affected them deeply. It makes sense that their past would prevent them from having enough self-esteem to live for themselves right now. It's not something you can just wipe away after a motivational speech.

The way Siren and Kappa are acting is not healthy, is not something I wish for them in the long run. But it makes SENSE that they can't do otherwise. Sure, Kappa is growing right now, but his recent growth still won't erase the effects of 20 years of trauma and neglect. The same goes for Siren. There is something Kappa says to Siren in one chapter that perfectly illustrates this fact:

"Think about everything you've been through since we met. The scar from your mother, the creatures in the god's mouth, dying and being brought back to life. It makes sense that you're having a hard time, it would be weird if you weren't."

I think nowadays we're used to characters having a Shonen-like character arc that makes them evolve and immediately get rid of all their problems. But realistically, it's not that easy. People have to deal with the state they're in for a while before they can really get over it. That's what the story has shown us, that things don't get solved with one miraculous solution like the beacon and the prophecy, learning to say no, finding dad, and so on. That's why it felt not only right, but natural for them to live for each other, no matter how unhealthy it is : Of course they can't live for themselves right now. It's not healthy, but it's realistic. And I'm rooting for it, not because I want the bois to keep living for someone else instead of themselves, but because I'm happy that the bois have a motivation to keep going despite everything they're dealing with right now.

I'm confident that they're going to get better. I'm confident that they will reach a point where they can finally live for themselves and not just for someone else. But that moment is not coming right now, and that's okay. They're allowed to be in a bad state and do the best they can with what they have. As Neth said, "bad motivation is better than no motivation at all."

Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy the Shonen-like arcs of the characters. And I'm proud of the growth our babies have already made, their progress and everything, I really hope to see more of it! But through this approach, I think CS is conveying a message that's not so common in stories, but really deep and important: growth takes time, it's okay if we're not our ideal selves right away. We're allowed to be unhealthy, to deal with it as we can, as long as we're still here and still doing our best. And maybe sometimes it is best to focus on living with our burdens and our mistakes with the limited tools we have. For NOW, the ideal self can wait.

(God, I LOVE this story so much…)

Thank you for the thoughtful analysis! I’m happy my goals with the story and characters are coming through.

I’ve experienced this myself- how our strongest motivations are not always the healthiest ones. I think it’s interesting to explore that in the characters. There was a reason Siren’s mental health took a nose dive after he accomplished his goal of finding kappa. (Which wasn’t even supposed to be his goal In the first place lol) I relate to him a lot in that struggle.

I could see it being frustrating when the characters struggle with the same problems and seem to regress but it feels more faithful to the themes of the story in that way.

Mental health itself is kind of a broad, deep topic and I know I don’t explore it perfectly but I’m happy with how the story has progressed so far 👍

[thealwayshappyanon]

I had this girl, her name was Octavia. She was an incredibly kind when I first met her, you're very quickly became good friends. I would soon learn that was not the case, she became obsessive, murderous, and toxic... It turns out she only became friends with me because she "loved me", but it wasn't love it was obsession, toxic killer obsession. She traped me and her web of lies, forcing me to be your quote on quote lover. Anytime I was upset even in the most mild ways, she would hurt me

*he held up his hand, in his anon form his hand had four fingers, but whenever he ever took his glasses off his hand would only have two fingers*

That's how I've lost most of my fingers, and how I became crippled.

*a subconsciously reaches to his side feeling metallic plates lining his back*

I eventually learned to entirely turn off my feelings when she was around, to only show a perfect happy smile, and I learned how to dry my tears in mere seconds. We got into a fight one day, over me crying over for my dead brother, I had only begin to start to learn how to control my anon magic, and I said a empty threat "I wish you were stabbed a thousand times over", and it better happened, all I hear is just scream as the knives penetrated her flesh, if I turn around to see her dead on the floor.... It's been 18 years since that's happened, it left me with quite a couple problems, like for one whenever anything bad happens to me I get emotional immediately because I hid my emotions for so long, I simply don't know how to control them anymore. I also have a harder time trusting people to touch me, even if it's something as simple as a handshake, I tend to pull back scared, because all I can feel is Octavia her hand gripping my arm its strength being so close to breaking my bones..... Plus that damned Sun Glass Corp and here pill dont help much.

It's been getting harder and harder to deal with it by the day. But of course I don't have anybody to tell this to do I? Plus best to just keep it in, I don't want to scare anybody.

*it was at this moment he realized he just said everything, this surprise them quite a lot as he usually doesn't just talk like this, it would have took literal torture to get this out of him with anybody else, and trust me he's been tortured before. Is this what happens when he's giving therapy to other people? It would make sense.*

Huh....

Hello Peppino! How have you been?

*the first thing you immediately notices that his voice seems to be normal, it's no longer popping and hopping in random places. He holds a small tub where a container full of spaghetti*

- @thealwayshappyanon

❝Oh...?❞

[snekdood]

"if we make america worse and more of a dictatorship that will be even harder to unravel and make it the way we want the country to be, maybe then everyone will join our Glorious Revolution!" bb girl you cant even be in the same room with someone who thinks you should vote, how in tf do you think you're gonna unite people to fight in The Revolution with you? it's gonna be you and your 5 friends, i hate to break it to you.

[elodieunderglass]

I’m glad to be included in gender, and it’s an honor to trans your gender, but gender is astrology to me. “Girl sun boy moon.” You don’t agree, but now you get me better. Send post

[hylianane]

A big part of the Haikyuu rewatch is watching the characters interact and worrying that I fandomized their relationships too much in my head, particularly with the Karasuno first years because Hinata and Kags keep Yamaguchi and Tsukishima at arm’s length for so long. But then I remember. Oh wait the squad is literally Hinata’s phone background by the end of the story. You don’t put a picture of just some dudes in your after school club as your phone background.

[eievuimultimuse]

     SUPERFLY CAN’T HELP but grunt derisively at Xever speaking of others hiding their intentions. He held no derision for the fish himself, of course, just…he can’t understand it.  “ But how could they stand there after everything humans put us through and still side with them ?  It makes no sense. If you ask me, they just couldn’t handle doin’ the HARD stuff. Never could. Always had t’ leave it to their ever so capable older brother. “  He can’t keep the bitterness and resentment from dripping in every word. Speaking in terms of literal years, he’d never been much older than they were. He was a baby raising babies at one point. Yet he still pulled up his bootstraps and got crap done, because someone had to. He’d just hoped that someday they’d GROW UP and return the favour for friggin’ ONCE. Maybe it’s on him for assuming too much of them.

     His agitation quiets a little at the addition that one couldn’t be really HONEST on the streets.  “ Yeah, I learned that the hard way, “  he mumbles.  “ First time I dipped my toes in crime stuff, I didn’t know what I was doin’. Had a guy willin’ to show me some ropes, though. Made the mistake of thinkin’ us gettin’ CHUMMY somehow made us friends. Then when things got rough and I wanted out, first thing he did was threaten everything I cared about, ‘cause I’d been stupid enough to tell him things I shouldn’t have. “  Given that they’re stopped, the fly takes a moment to loosen his grip and lean back, exhaling a sigh through spiracles.  “ He wound up bein’ the first man I’d ever taken out. If ya’ catch my drift, “  he adds with a nod towards Xever. And he’d do it again if he had to. Screw that guy.

     Although he remains quiet throughout the fish’s speech out of politeness, he can feel the agitation creeping in at the suggestion that he scared his family. That he displayed some kind of insecurity. But really, those things aren’t really a surprise to him. He knows he scared them. He knows he wasn’t always as confident as he made himself out to be. He just never wanted to admit that.  The only reason he doesn’t give one of his usual knee-jerk reactions is likely because he can tell that Xever’s not judging him for that. Not by the way the fish relays his own story. Even if some of the things he says in relation to said anecdote make Superfly want to shift awkwardly in his seat from how uncomfortably close it hit home.

     “ …You’re askin’ a lot of questions, “  is all the fly says at first. But it’s just deflection, avoidance, because whatever the TRUE answer to any of these questions are, Superfly’s simply not ready to admit to them yet. Because that would mean admitting HE was the problem, and he’s not willing to do that.  “ I just did what I had to t’ take care of ‘em, man. Sometimes takin’ care o’ people means gettin’ ugly and doin’ things they don’t like for their greater good. Sometimes you just gotta be the BAD GUY t’ get things done. Means you get blamed for a lotta their problems too. “  ( He still remembers Bebop and Rock’s exchange, claiming HE was the reason they were angry all the time. What a joke. )  “ Way I see it, they found some OTHER folks who put shiny ideas in their naive heads, and decided on a whim that I was the cause of all their problems. I’ll give it a WEEK ‘fore they realize I was RIGHT. “

     He’s more than glad to get off the bike by this point, too worked up to stay on for another second.  “ Cool. I’ll follow your lead. “

By this point the pair were now close to the docks. The traffic began to grow less and less as time went on. Only when they reached the waterfront did Xever finally bring the bike to a stop. The pair had talked a lot on the way here, Xever honestly felt lighter since he had admitted some stuff he had kept hidden for a the longest time. Something about Fly rang true to him in some respects. Like they were both jaded souls who the world just seemed to keep crapping on. Xever had to wonder where they went wrong, if there was something the pair could have done to make their lives better. Were they doomed to just be the punchingbags of this world while other far more deserving people got off scot free? Xever wasn't sure.

"Everyone has their own views, hard to tell sometimes what people truly want. They hide their intentions, because sometimes admitting to something they don't want to admit to is harder than just trying to push that truth away from yourself. I admit that I have a hardtime being honest with people. I felt like I couldn't be honest, because that is weakness and to appear weak on the streets is tantamount to death. You can't leave anything that can be used against you."

Not even from those you might feel connected to. You can't even show them your weaker side because they depend on you. And if they saw that you too weren't as strong as you protray yourself to be then would they still hold you in that same regard? Xever saw so much of himself within Superfly or parts of himself at the very least.

"Maybe, they turned on you because they felt like they saw a side of you that scared them. A side you never felt confident to show them. I did that to someone I took care of and well I did something I couldn't take back. I regret that, because that person was the only person I ever truly cared about which was hard enough being the loner than I am. I can't ever have that connection with them anymore because the side of me they saw was far too ugly. I got way too mad, I said things I did things, it was partly the turtles fault too. As they often are with most things that went wrong with my life here."

Xever felt like he was maybe digging too deep here. He had only just met this guy, but this pile of emotions felt so akin to his own he couldn't help but look into Superfly and see a mirror.

"I could be wrong though, I am not a good person. And despite that I still want to say sorry to the other person. But, even saying sorry might not be enough because they saw something ugly inside me. We can't have what we had anymore, because that side is exposed now. They see it and it will always be there reminding them of it. Tell me, did you hide parts of yourself from your family? Did you feel like there were certain things you couldn't say to them? Because they relied on you? And if they knew you were scared they wouldn't view you the same? How often did you ever let down your guard around them? Show them how vulnerable you were? How much bravado did you project? And how much of it was real? Because I did the same thing, and it builds up in you until it explodes. The turtles feel more like they are the thing that causes that explosion. It is their fault, but how much of the problem was lingering there before they blew it up?"

This was something that Xever realised long after everything was over. He still hated the turtles, they were the source of his woes. But with Mondo, how much of it was simply issues within himself that he kept hidden? If he had been more honest or tried to show his emotions more clearly Mondo might not hate him now.

"This is the place..."

[deoidesign]

.

[wizardnuke]

important aspect of shadowgast To Me is that caleb thinks it's cute when essek's being a bitch and visa versa