#me and my ex lwk

[dovveri]

WHEN I SAY U READ MY MIND WHEN I SAY THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED WHEN I SAY IM IN LOVE WITH U i freaking mean it omg i dont want u to be emo more :( but when it produces THIS oh god the way u captured the guilt and self pity and hate u hit the nail on the head ugh i miss sana no one deserves her she will be too good for whoever she ends up with

like you used to

minatozaki sana x fem!reader ; angst

synopsis: it’s raining it’s pouring no old man is snoring and you've run into your ex-girlfriend (aka the love of your life) after a year.

warnings: reader used to have bad habits (smoking, alcohol) ; sana is a sweetheart ; reader is avoidant ; ex's to...? ; my attempt at angst, not my forte... ; anything else I didn't mention

a/n: hey! so all i do is lie (change my mind too often) anyways this one is short I just had a random burst of motivation :-p feeling edgy, don’t expect more this is spontaneous;-;

one thing about where you live is that there’s always unexpected surprises — in this case, the weather went from partly cloudy at 5pm to sudden thunder and lightning.

great.

no umbrella, a drenched shoulder bag, and soaked clothes cling to you as you dash for cover. when you finally find refuge at the bus stop, there’s another surprise waiting for you.

light brown hair dampened by the rain, a side profile more beautiful than flowers in bloom, and a soft smile that could captivate you for centuries: minatozaki sana.

“shit,” you mutter under your breath, running under the roof of the stop. 

patting down your blazer and pleated pants, sana turns and widens her eyes slightly. you meet her halfway, meeting her gaze and shrinking despite being a few centimeters taller. 

she gasps – almost. “y/n?”

“sana,” you tighten your jaw, feeling a knot in your stomach. “hi.”

“you’re drenched.” she points out the obvious, rushing to pull out a handkerchief in her purse. “come here.” she says, stepping closer. 

you flinch, stepping back a bit and sana frowns.

“it’s fine, it’s nothing.” you assure, feeling stiff in your place. “use it for yourself.”

“i’m not as soaked as you are.”

“it’s fine, sana.” you add firmly, clutching the strap of your bag and wiping water off your cheeks. 

even when you turn back to face the road, attempting to dry yourself with your wet blazer, sana continues to stare. you feel her eyes piercing through you, the same sweet eyes that would look at you like you were her world before you messed up. you want to shrivel up and disappear, every second beside her is grueling.

you make the mistake of glancing back at her again, she’s somehow prettier than two seconds ago – and after a year of avoiding her. 

sana’s wearing a white dress with a white cardigan on top; everything she has on is pretty damp, so you assume she got luckier and found cover quicker than you. she has on light makeup, nothing too crazy, but either way, she’d still have you staring. her hair – now slightly wet – is clipped up with a bow, making her look like some sort of princess. a small sigh leaves your lips as you break away from her.

“the rain won’t stop anytime soon, how will you get home?” she asks you, voice sweet and careful. 

“bus.”

“i heard they’re delayed for thirty minutes.”

“i can wait.” you reply, staring at the ground. “it’s nothing.”

she sighs, then steps closer to you and holds your wrist. she grabs your attention again, both your eyes meeting in eye contact that makes your heartache; she has that effect.

“y/n,” she stays sternly, “i called an uber ten minutes ago, you’re coming with me.”

“no i’m not sana.”

“yes you are.” her grip on your forearm tightens, making you gulp lightly. 

you stare at her through your overgrown, wet bangs that cling to your forehead, sighing softly. the handkerchief she had in her hand now draws closer to your face. she gently uses it to wipe away the water from your forehead, cheeks, and nose. her touch is tender, and her eyes focus intently on you, making your heart flutter in your chest.

surrender is your first option – your only option. 

“okay.”

–

sana’s apartment is as homey as you remember, the same couch you’d talk and makeout for hours on is still clean and fresh. 

she steps in first, kicking off her loafers and walking towards the kitchen island. 

“come.” she says, and you follow without a word, taking off your own shoes and hanging your bag up on the rack you used to.

you follow and sit down at the chair she’d used to sit at when you cooked for her, playing chef and cracking stupid jokes as you fixed her a simple pasta. her place used to be a haven from whatever you had going on, but now it’s dissolving you with every second passing by.

sana disappears for a moment, giving you a brief respite. you take this time to try and recompose yourself, staring at the marble counter in front of you. despite your efforts to push them down, memories you tried so hard to lock away from the light resurface, flooding your mind and making your heart ache with their intensity.

“here,” you jump at the soft sound of sana’s voice, looking up to see her handing you a towel – your towel.

“thank you.” grabbing it, you pat yourself down. sana hands you shorts and a t-shirt, also yours. 

“you never came back to get them.” she mumbles, sitting down next to you and searching for something in your eyes. “you know that?”

“i do.”

“mhm.” she looks even deeper, twisting you from the inside and out. “you should change.”

you nod.

–

by the time you finish changing, you find yourself staring at your reflection in the mirror for a moment too long, lost in a brief moment of reminiscing. shaking off the memories, you finally return to the kitchen, feeling all too much at once.

there’s a candle lit and hot ginger tea on the counter in sana’s favorite mug. she’s leaning against the counter near the stove, staring at her own cup.

you sit down and place both hands on either side of the mug. sana hums softly, “you should drink some, you’ll get sick.”

“it’s fine, i’ll get going soon anyway.”

“no you won’t.”

“and you’re the one who’s in charge of that?”

“stay the night, it’s not like you haven’t before y/n.” she sighs, looking at you with hurt in her features. “besides, i won’t let you go back. if you do, i know just seeing me will prompt you to drink and drink, maybe you’ll even light a cigarette or two if you’re sober enough to pull them out the pack.” she spits, sending a sagger through your chest.

you try to respond, but your throat dries up in the process. instead, you take a sip of the tea, not uttering a single word.

the air is weighed down with a palpable tension, like the elephant in the room sits on top of you two.

she sets her mug down, then walks over to lean against the counter in front of you, watching your head hang lower and hands run to the back of your neck.

“i’m sorry.”

“you should be.”

leaving with nothing but a note, a text, and then blocking her? sana deserves more than a sorry, but she’s grateful that you’re muttering it at all.

“i couldn’t face you.” you feel your throat closing in on itself again. “i don’t want you to be stuck on me.”

“y/n, i love you, nothing is ever going to change that even after you ghosted me.”

the whole reason you did all of that was simple: you’re an insecure, avoidant coward.

sana was and still is set up on a pedestal, one that would take lightyears to climb. she's beautiful, cunning, charming, and caring. you had never known anyone as loving as her. it was dangerous having a person so cozy and warm jump into your life when you've always been so cold and uneasy.

two years with sana were enough to create memories that would make you smile just thinking about them, but they could also send you into a spiral.

lingering in your mind were thoughts screaming for you to leave her, insisting you weren't enough and that she would be better off without you. it wasn’t jealousy of anyone else, you were too clouded with your flaws to care about that; it was the belief that you should dig yourself into a ditch so sana would realize she shouldn’t waste her time on someone like you.

she witnessed your moments of weakness. once a month, you'd drink until you couldn’t formulate a thought, and smoke to avoid confronting your problems and the personal hassles you hid from her. the monthly occurrence turned into a bimonthly thing, and then weekly nearing the end of your relationship. and still, sana would be by your side each time, making sure you were okay.

you were an asshole, and you had to pry yourself away from her somehow.

“just give up sana.”

“y/n,” you feel hands on your cheeks, cupping them and tilting your head up to meet her face sculpted by the angels above. “stop that.”

your brows upturn. “you stop that.”

“i’m not doing anything.”

“that’s the problem.”

sana rubs your cheeks like she used to, her long nail just barely grazing your skin in the process. you sink in your place, eyes avoiding hers.

“we don’t have to talk about it now, but stay. i want you safe, even if it’s just for tonight.”

“don’t do this to yourself, you’ll only hurt more.”

“there’s nothing that hurts more than knowing you’ll have a fever, it’s okay.”

without warning, she leans in, hugging you softly. sana’s warmth and softness envelop you, and you feel like you’ll freeze her, turning her rigid with your coldness.

sana feels your body go stiff, but when she rubs her back, you’re already sinking into her. she’s spent time to take care of herself, but nothing beats the way she cares for you, or just the feeling of being with you.

you had your flaws, but sana saw right past them and into your heart.

even if you didn’t think it, you were sana’s rock. sweet and caring, a sight for sore eyes, and the warmth she needed after a long day. she could talk to you about anything, and you’d be there to listen and soothe her worries, your smile easily easing the tension in her shoulders.

after countless tries (well, two, because sana couldn’t see anyone but you after that setup with momo’s friend on a whim), she had accepted that no one else could fill your spot in her life.

she feels tears soaking the material of her t-shirt, hearing you sniffle lightly into her.

sana pulls away, holding your face again. she looks at you with a mix of pity, regret, anger, and sorrow, maybe a little relief too. you’re back with her, she’s unsure of whether or not you’re still as vulnerable, but it doesn’t matter.

“it’s okay.”

“i’m an asshole.”

“you are,” she agrees, then wipes a tear from your eye. “but everyone has their reasons.”

she lets you stain her shirt with a few more tears before gently coaxing you to join her on the couch. it will take a long time to rebuild what you once had, but sana is willing to try, and you are too—especially when she holds you close, her hand rubbing your back comfortingly.

you’ve always thought you didn’t deserve her. 

but sana won’t let you let go so easily. she refuses to back down without a fight, and neither will you – not this time.

[polarisjisung]

LOVE ON THE COURT | 26 PRINCESS JAEM

SYNOPSIS | every college student has their struggles, but raising her younger brother has Y/N top of the list, struggling her way through college whilst balancing her academics and basketball captaincy is difficult no doubt and with Jaemin, her ex best friend and captain of the guys basketball team, and his growing one sided hatred towards her, it doesn't seem to be getting any easier

WARNINGS | swearing, sexual innuendos, kys/kms jokes

NOTES | this chapter was lwk just so I could use that jaemin pic bcs it's been haunting me anyways I'm excited for the next chap tomorrow 🤭

GUYS IM GONNA KMS THE TYPO OF YOURE INSTEAD OF YOUR (perfect time to say English is NOT my first language ‼️)

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[coinjarred]

Lwk I don’t don’t blame jimmy too much for going mad in vol 7 & 8

I would loose my shit too if a hot girl leaves me w/ ptsd, the embodiment of the anti-Christ shows up outside my lawn, and 1/4th of Jesus becomes my robo daughter in the span of two days.

And I’m trying to argue with teenagers but fumbling so bad and my “dead��� ex is there watching it all like fml already dude.

[taesancore]

⭑.ᐟ MY WIPS!

🪼currently writing:

the playlist i never sent (woonhak x f!reader)

⭑.ᐟ pt.3 (possibly pt.4) is in the works

bnd as one direction songs:

⭑.ᐟ jaehyun : perfect

genre: strangers to lovers, idol!mjh x barista!reader

⭑.ᐟ sungho : they don’t know about us

genre: established relationship au, minor angst

⭑.ᐟ riwoo : midnight memories

genre: strangers to ???, dancer!riwoo x student!reader, suggestive

⭑.ᐟ taesan : olivia

genre: exes to lovers, second chance au, minor angst

⭑.ᐟ leehan : hey angel (POSTED)

⭑.ᐟ woonhak : what makes you beautiful

genre: yet to plan

leehan : untitled

⭑.ᐟ synopsis: in which you began coughing out petals of your fuck buddy’s favourite flower

⭑.ᐟ genre: hanahaki au, fwb au, fwb to lovers

⭑.ᐟ warnings: multiple mature scenes (smut warnings tba), major angst, descriptions of coughing out blood and vomiting, mentions of partying and drinking, explicit language and more tba.

please me (jaehyun x f!reader)

⭑.ᐟ synopsis: in which a list you wrote down in high school, of r-rated things you wanted to experience in uni, lands in the hands of your project partner and playboy-turned-topper myung jaehyun.

⭑.ᐟ genre: ex-classmates to lovers, porn with plot

⭑.ᐟ warnings: multiple mature scenes (smut warnings tba), explicit language, inexperienced reader, jaehyun’s got history lmao, mentions of partying, weed and drinking, more tba

🪼yet to plan:

limerence (taesan x f!reader)

⭑.ᐟ genre: twin flame au, angst

through the lens (sungho x f!reader)

⭑.ᐟ synopsis: in which sungho realises that his sweet little neighbour was actually user ‘sweaterclaws’ who sent him the most kinkiest requests during his streams

⭑.ᐟ genre: camboy au, neighbours to lovers, porn with plot

⭑.ᐟ warnings: nsfw (smut warnings tba), sungho is a freak, lwk a perv too lmao, more tba

🪼asks/requests:

taesan e2l scenario

⭑.ᐟ rival musicians to lovers, minor angst, hot headed leads lmao

leehan hard thoughts

⭑.ᐟ leehan + voice and strength kink

do not copy or steal my ideas, i will hunt you down (yes this is a threat).

[anotherferalrat]

Arcane S2 Thought Dump: Ep2

As always, spoilers below

JINX- SILCO- PLS THIS IS SO SAD IM GONNA CRY STAWWPPPPPP

...I was not expecting a gang of dominatrixes (dominatri?) but slay ig also i dont remember the chembarons at all...

The feral kid who bit the goons is so me

LMAOOO Jinx got hit by the cat (feral child) distribution system

Who is this cracked out gremlin. Like fr. Get him outta my face.

Omggg Sevika defending Jinx i love herrrr (this is gonna go so wrong)

Yuppp she's gonna crack her over the head with a bottle

Waittt nvr minddd they're bondinggg

*sees Viktor* SMASH *horrified voice* "What... am i?" Oh...

OMG I FORGOT THE LAB ASSISTANT DIED. WAIT THIS SCENE IS SO SAD.

JAYCE NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO TRY TO GET YO MANZ BACK. GAYS FR BE BREAKING UP WITHOUT EVR HAVING GOTTEN TOGETHER JFC /ref. This is not the breakup I was expecting this season, thought it was gonna be caitvi lwk

HEIMERDINGER PLSSS BESTIEEEE UR SO SILLY

Bro why ekko and jayce introduced to each other like the ex meeting the current😭

The way Heimerdinger immediately clocked jayce on his post breakup crashout

Yo Jinx can nvr catch a break my poor girl

I TAKE IT BACK. DUE TO JAYCE'S BREAKUP HE CANNOT HAVE A PLATONIC BATTLE BUDDY DREAM TEAM. IM HERE FOR JINX AND SEVIKA

OMFG IS VIKTOR ARCANE JESUS??? LIKE I SAID B4 THERE'S NOTHING GAYER THAN DEVOTION. ESPECIALLY BETWEEN A GOD AND THEIR DEVOTEE

[7perqs]

i went on this hike/camping thing & my friend invited my ex and anyway, i thought it would be fineeeeeeeeee and that he’d leave me alone but 😞💔💔💔 he ruined the whole vibe fr and he’s lwk just weird like i think he’s been keeping tabs on me cuz cuz he brought up this guy i was talking to and was like you’ve always had a thing for ugly white boys 💔

[m3chanicabride]

i have a crazy ex boyfriend who won’t stop calling and texting and is quite literally trying to be me. he won’t stop texting my friends and has sent me letters in the mail about how much he hates me. i’m lwk scared. but, anyways, stan ptv <3 !

[thenickgirl]

BRO IM IN SHOCK RN AND I GOT TO TELL SM1 N ALL MY FRIENDS ARE BUSY

FOR A BIT OF DESCRIPTION ON ME IM A TRAD GOTH LIKE I READ THE LITRUTRE I LISTEN TO TUE MUSIC AND IVE GOT THE WWHOLE SHABANG SO IM A GOTH GOTH

BUT MY BF JUST BROKE UP WITH ME AND HIS REASON WAS HE WAS CHEATING N I WAS LIKE OK LIKE O LWK KINDA KNEW HE WAS SO I WASSNT SO PRESSED BUT THEN BRO SAID I GOT A "REAL" GOTH GF NOW AND I WAS LIKE WHAT SO HE SHOWED A PICTURE AND SHE LOOKED LIKE THIS

https://images.app.goo.gl/Pmsde3nKbvzuWrs8A

AND OFC IM NOSEY ON HOW SHES A REAL GOTH SO I FIND HER INSTA AND I ASKED FAV GOTHIC MUSIC ARTIST ANS DHE REPR8LED WORH "oh i dont like that its shit asf XD" LIKE DEAS ASS HER REPLIY NOTHING CHANGED OR SHIT SO I ASKED FAV GOTHIC WRITER OR FILIM AND SHE SAYS "i meannn i liked Wednesday notjing else tho " LIKE COME ON

LIKE IK WEDNESDAY WAS GOOD AND JENNA ORTEGA IS HOT ASF BUT IT AINT THE ONLY GOTHIC MOVIE/TV SJOE OUT THERE

SO I WONDER IS SHE A REAL GOTH LIKE MY EX SAID CUZ IK SHE AINT

Anyways lil story over 🤭😘

oh babe he definitely just said that to try and piss you off, cause she don’t seems goth at all to me 😭

block his ass for trying to play in your face!!!

[stuckinapril]

i don't really understand the point of dating not to marry imo? from a "we're young let's live and have fun" standpoint i get it, but how do you date someone happily without seeing a future with them? isn't that a little like setting urself up for heartbreak from the getgo? (source: was dated "for fun" my first relationship and it lwk fucked me up bc i kept seeing the end of the relationship the minute it started and he broke up w me in the end bc he wasn't ready for a relationship)

im so sorry you got heartbroken :( yeah this whole “i don’t date to marry” stance is more of a guy thing, but as a girl it’s definitely my mindset too haha. if it helps, im not resistant to the idea of something long-term? i just know realistically it won’t happen. i’m the kind of person who changes way too much for something very long-term to be the end goal. i plan on traveling a lot too, so idk if i’ll be in the position to be in a serious, committed relationship. my ex kind of also taught me a lot about rushing into a serious relationship w someone, so i’ll probably be way more choosy going forward. but even w him, i never thought “yeah this is the guy i’ll see at the altar” like noo we’re just kids. i just thought he was really right for current me. and for that reason, i was willing to commit to him

[ii-viixx]

tw: venting, self-harm/sh, blood mentions, mommy issues ranting (if that’s an actually trigger, sorryyyy), family issues, ect

///

///

sorry for this long ahh vent or wtvr the fck i wrote was. also idk i jst started to add other stuff to it, i got bored & jst wanted to vent even more. sorry if it doesn't make much sense, its 4 in da morning

/////

Why’d I let him do that. Did it even happen.. ?? Every day that I don’t speak about it,, or when I do it feels like guilt swallowing me whole. Was it real? Was it real? Was it real? Was it real? FUCK…. Or is it another of my little ass stories. Fuck, I’m so stupid. So very stupid. FUCKKKK !!!! UGHHHH. Why’d I let him touch me,,,, he touched me he touched me he touched me he touched me… Maybe??? IDK,, I wanna rip the skin off my flesh & cry.. fuxking start laughing like the fucking Joker when I do. Did it even happen? Did it? Did it? Did it? Did it? Was it real Was it real was it real was it real�� I lwk be feeling like that one line, it went smth like: “pretty enough to be sexualized, but not pretty enough to be loved” 🤯 Lmfaooo (am I going crazy???? idk am i am i am i am i am. no im not… right? maybe i do need mental help, maybe I really do…). I get stared often. It’s strange but I sometimes like the attention. I sometimes think that I’m not worthy of love. It’s weird being horny almost all the damn time? is it cuz i’m a teen or did my constant exposure & most likely SA experience fuck me so bad that I became hyper sexual???

.. Gosh, I feel like a freak whenever I think of myself in that way… yk that reminds me.. when I was younger, around 7,,, I was taking pictures or jst plain staring at my budding chest… Even though I wasn’t deflowered, I still felt like my petals fell anytime I was stared at by older men or getting touched by him,,, Him him him.. Him. Did he did he did he did he? I need answers. Maybe I’m just sick in the head for thinking he touched me,,, did he? Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t. In the end we were jst kids. Enough abt that. Let’s go onto how I became who I am today. I grew up to a single mother. Typical. My dad left us before I was even born (rude but whatevs). We moved at least 3 times before settling down. Whoo… She was a fucking mess my mom was a mess. A pretty heavy drinker & smoker. I was surrounded by it from her, her boyfriend (now ex), his lil friends & maybe hers? idk. She used to kick me out & lock me out the door, I got used to it but I got lucky if her ex decided to open it for me. She was abusive, physically, maybe ? idk but i’m pretty sure she did. I blocked out a ton of shit from my childhood 💀 growing up she used to call me names & hit me even tho i didn’t do nothing. wrong. She’d talk to me abt her feelings & venting. (Wow way to do a number to a fucking 3yo). She’d vent abt her troubles. I had to learn how to feed $ dress myself when she didn’t want to. I don’t think she likes me as a person but she definitely loves as a daughter. So hypocritical, but sometimes so am I. Ive come to realize that I’m almost like an exact copy of her. from her face, hair, personality, the way we present, ourselves, up to the way we fucking talk. My family even says so. But as much as I hate to admit, I can see the almost uncanny resemblance, well obviously i’m aware of the whole: ’YoU’Re boUnd to LooK liKE YOur MoTHer, yoU cAME fROm hER’ ik that but it’s annoying to hear it almost every fucking day, I live & breathe. It’s annoying as shit. But that’s also why I was piercing & highlights. Jst to have at least some type of different between us, jst so I can’t hear other ‘OMG!!! U look *jst* like ur mother! Like a little mini-her’. It was cute the first 3 or 7 times, but after what.. almost two decades of hearing that sentence. It gets pretty annoying. What I despise equally as much is when ppl say ‘Dang you looked jst like her sister’ (towards my mom). She looks pretty young yea, but it’s annoying too. Though in the end. I love her, I’m proud of her. She’s really trying to better herself, and whatnot. But fuck, please for the love of god; go to therapy woman. U need it, I need it, even nana (grandma) needs it. Almost everyone in my family needs ts. We’re all fucked up in a way. more shit cuz y not.. i started self-harming/sh around the age of 3-5. It was jst simple: hitting myself, hair pulling, scratching, bruising. I did it when I got stressed w home life, when I was angry, sad or jst felt like it. I stopped for a bit, but then it was a whole cycle once more. On & off typa things. Though,, one summer after going crazy abt whether to cut or not. My friend showed her twt feed, I saw video after video of ppl cutting, slicing, bleeding, ect. I was skhakjng, basically tweaking out like how Tweek from SP/South Park does (not exactly but similarly). I bit my tongue. After the skool yr was over, the first official night of summer, I decided to grab a pencil sharpener, unscrew the blade & I gently swiped it across my thighs. No blood, it stung like crazy doe. i barely even cut the skin. That’s when I started to go a bit deeper, jst out of the blue. That’s when I hit blood, no styro tho. Something went over me & I went deeper, pushing the blade onto my arms. I checked the wound. My first styro, my heart was racing, pounding. I was excited. I did even more styros, some a bit deeper than others. I still have every scar to show it. Even the little 4 straight-ish ones that look like little slopes or rows of corn.

[milkloafy]

SO.

i was researching vidyadhara stuff for an idea and i somewhat get the feeling that dan feng was lwk insecure of himself

the article on the wiki mentioned that he had a tutor, and i feel like the preceptors would make him a bit dependent on them so he wouldn't be too rebellious (emotional abuse amr) like he can't do anything that's even the slightest out of line because he's supposed to be some epitome of perfection and grace. (ex. giving him just enough appreciation so he depends on them but taking it away the second he does something "wrong")

but past life! reader (whoever invented this concept i salute you), helps him sneak out to see lanterns and stuff. yk eat street food and get festival souvenirs.

there needs to be some kind of hsr analysis forum bc i need to RANT

p.s. sorry if this is too long :(

I LOVE HEARING RANTS/RAMBLES NEVER APOLOGIZE NONNIE <3 u can yap in my inbox anytime LOL :3

so as for dan feng,, i 100% agree the preceptors are manipulative and toxic af! like i don’t rmbr well bc it’s been a while since i played it but during dh il story werent they sooo terrible to baizhu?? idk like they give me such creepy “for the greater good vibes” i would not be surprised if they manipulated dan feng and gave him so much trauma and issues 😭😭 like he’d prob have to be working on it for years to get thru it tho i like to think hopefully his friendship with hcq helped him 🥺🤍 we love found family 🤍 and trauma bonding AHDKLD JKJK 😭

past life!reader would be such a light in dan feng’s life 🥺 ur idea is giving me tangled vibes HAHA but reader is flynn ryder and dan feng is rapunzel in her tower 🤣

their reunion as dan heng and reincarnated reader would be so sweet 🥺 i bet reader would be so happy to see dan heng now has freedom and a support system he hopefully will open up more and more too 🤍

[snooziangel]

people always say to be the weird kids friend until it goes wrong