#me and mom

[lampylamperson]

Me and my mom watching nimona during ambrosius little mind freak out scene

Mom:are you sure their in love?

Me:yeah

Mom:but he cut of his arm

Me:that’s what he was taught to do

Mom:we’ll just remember arm chopping is not a love language

*Me and mom laughs*

We had fun watch the movie

[jennhoney]

A year ago.

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

Bethy got mom a small nutcracker at Walmart. She loved nutcrackers very much and she asked me if I wanted to guess its name.

I struggled. This went on for several minutes before I hit record.

Careful with the volume! @flamingpen18 here we are!

~.O.~

Me: Alright, so, it's not the name of a person. It is the name of a Thing. So, it's not a proper name. You are making it a Proper Noun by making it a name, but it not necessarily a name. So, it's not named after people, which means it's a Thing. But I don't- It's- Is it- Is it an ice cream? Is this supposed to be an ice cream?

Mom: I don't really know what it's supposed to be.

Me: Okay, well, that doesn't help me.

Mom: What it looked like to me-

Me: It's- DONT' TELL ME! *chokes*

Mom: I was like, "That's his name. That's his name right there."

Me: Um... Uuuum. Well because- *flabbergasted* He just looks like a fucking nutcracker with an ice cream thing on top. I don't really -What can it- Okay. Is it in relation to an animal?

Mom: No.

Me: What the f- *slaps knee in frustration* Okay. Is it in relation-

Mom: I'm really concerned. *laughs*

Me: *high-pitched giggles* Is it in relation to a food?

Mom: Yes.

Me: Food, okay! This does not help at all. Is it only a food, or is it used to be anything else or is it just food?

Mom: I have seen Nana use this particular item, that is a food, as something else.

Me: ...Butter?

Mom: No.

Me: *wheezing and cackling*

Mom: *weird look* What does butter have to do with anything?

Me: No! You don't wanna know what I was thinking!

Mom: Never mind, Helen, you are not good at this. OMG.

Me: *wheezing* I have such a headache OMG!

Mom: And you did it to yourself. I hope you're happy.

Me: I CAN'T- I'M TRYING! Okay, so... My throat hurts.

Mom: Doo- doo- doo- That's what happens when you cackle like a hyena.

Me: *wheezing* It's not my fault, I can't- Okay, food. Yeah, but how does it- Okay, but if it's not ice cream then how- *chuckling* Okay.

Mom: What else does it look like?

Me: I DON'T KNOW! He looks like an old man trying to be Santa but as a nutcracker! Okay? *giggles*

Mom: Santa Crackers.

Me: Like... okay. *sniffs* *giggles* I forgot for a second that you said food and I thought, 'nipples' but like-

Mom: *cough* No. No! NO!

Me: *cackles* Well- but you said it was on top of it-

Mom: God, what is wrong with you?!

Me: *giggles* Okay. Okay. *sniffs* I'm okay.

Mom: That's up for debate.

Me: Okay.

Mom: Yeah, you said that but still... *laughs*

Me: *wheezing* Ok- *coughs* Oka- I CAN'T! JUS- Okay.

Mom: STOP SAYING 'OKAY'! WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS NOT OKAY!

Me: I'm- I'm Trying! *wheezing* Okay... *laughs* No! I'm trying!

Mom: *laughs* *coughs*

Me: *clears throat* Oh! Is it a gumdrop?

Me: JESUS CHRIST! *howling laughter*

Mom: *laughs* That's it! Yes! Gumdrop!

Me: OMG! WTF?!

Mom: All that! All that for your foolishness!

Me: I was thinking, I was like, what is that like for?

Mom: It's okay, Gumdrop. Aunt Helen'll be okay!

Me: *giggles* *sniffs* To think, we started off with me asking if it was named Martin. *cackles* And then if it was named Nana. *laughs* OMG, man I am not good at that at all. Okay. Okay so... Okay.

Mom: Ar- You keep saying 'okay' and it is not.

Me: You can't blame be because there was a thing on top of it! *coughs*

Mom: I want you to know that I can do nothing but blame you! *giggles*

Me: There was a thingy on to of it, okay? It- It looked less like that and more like the top scoop of an ice cream cone!

Mom: *mumbles* De scoop. De scoopa.

Me: Like, I'm trying to think of like, fucking food, and I should've asked if it was a fucking snack or some shit, it would've made it fucking faster. *sighs* Okay. My head hurts... and it's your fault.

Mom: ...*offended look*

Me: *wheezes*

Mom: How'd it become my fault?

Me: *clears throat* *sniffs* Because you were relishing in my suffering.

Mom: Well, of course, it was funny. Also, very sad.

Me: *sniffs* You suck.

Mom: No, not really.

Me: *sniffs* Alright.

Mom: I have no interest in that shit.

Me: Okay. Everything's okay.

~.O.~

The offender in question:

[speedyfacebarbarian]

[tinypawsllc]

Marlow & Phillip

[harlequinchaos]

Don't I deserve love.. and jewelry? 🔮

[everydayclutter]

Mom: why are you smiling? Did you just get a new crush?

Me: *lifting my head from a video of Aaron Ramsdale save compilation* uhhh..

[desperatepleasures]

one time I used the ben affleck smoking reaction image in the family group chat and my mom replied with the funniest possible response which was: "mommy doesn't know who the guy is???" and that phrase has not left my brain since. I'll see blorbos on my dash that I don't recognize and I'll be like well it seems mommy doesn't know who the guy is.

[puppppppppy]

filipina miku!! my mom helped me with her outfit ^_^

[mommyloveyoutoo]

Do you like this vacation with mommy little girl huh?

[knockknockwhosthereartistism]

The worst trauma comes from those who you love

[hotroadkill]

collection

[anxiousangerball]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but

YOU DO NOT NEED TO START A NEW HOBBY!

STEP AWAY FROM THE TEXTILES!

YOU DON'T NEED MORE YARN!

THAT FABRIC IS NOT CALLING TO YOU! LEAVE IT ALONE!

[cork-run]

the names of certain mob-involved trans women have been changed

[littlestpersimmon]

Metamorphosis

[fairydrowning]

– Noor Unnahar, Instagram account "noor_unnahar"

[TEXT ID: / [Lemons] / My father's mother loved lemons. Years after her passing, / we run out of everything, but never / lemons. / Nothing else shelters grief / better than memory. / It's my father way of saying, / even in your absence, you will be / cared by me. / END ID]