#md addison

[kekeartzworld]

I’m a dumbass

Also I’ve taken too long on this drawing (roughly 14 hours in IbisPaint)

And it was for another fankid design of all things cuz I can never stop designing them

ANYWAYS

This is Addison, my Purplemalice fankid

She was born in Cabin Fever Labs to Nori long before she left Alice

Once Nori had left her, Alice, and her adopted brother Beau behind, she had remained in the lab scavenging drone parts with her mother and her younger brother

When she lost both of them to the sentinels, she had blamed herself for not being there to save them and felt guilty

She still remained at the lab however, doing what she had grown accustomed to for so long

[mdoccallcenter]

Meet The Crew

So, here are all of my Murder Drone OCs for this blog

Kate: You may ask her about her adoptive siblings or maybe you could get to know more about her past

Cyra: You may ask her questions about solver drones or any questions relating to her adoptive family

Nora: You may ask her Nuzi/Biscuitbites related questions or questions relating to her friends

Juliet: Pretty much the same as Nora but Oilrose

Evelynn and Daisy: Same as Nora and Julie but Doll x Lizzy/Dizzy

Serial Designation K: You may ask her things about disassembly drones or perhaps some things about her past when she used to be a maid at the mansion

Lucy: You may ask her any questions that her other friends cannot answer

Katra Louisa Elliott: The only human in the cast, you may ask her about her past In Elliott manor with K and how they both ended up on Cooper 9 after escaping the manor when Cyn massacred the gala in episode five

Cyanna: You may ask her things about her “mother” Cyn and her creation

Addison: Ditto of Nora, Juliet, Evelynn, and Daisy but obviously Purplemalice/Nori x Alice

———————————————————————

How It Works

The ask pretty much come in the form of a call to the characters and they answer your calls (major inspiration from @tadcccallmyocs ran by @know-it-all-and-all)

I may draw their responses whenever I can make the time for it

[kekeartzworld]

She looks so cool in your style

I dunno I’m bored

7/9

The scrap metal antlers are always fun

sorry for the wait, finally got my energy back after being sick for a while

2 requests left

[privatehousesanatomy]

i'm going to ramble for a minute because i am both greys anatomy's biggest fan while simultaneously being their biggest hater and i have a lot to say.

the show is terrible. i love everything up to s8 and then tap out after s11. i physically cannot watch anything after derek dies. i've watched up to s16 completely and now for the last 4 seasons have been keeping up through spoilers and clips on tiktok but i cannot will myself to keep going. and it's not because it's been renewed for s21 but because it's just so bad.

the last good season was in 2012, which is when it should have ended. the plane crash should have been the end of the series. it would have been a good year to end it. private practice ended in 2012, house md ended in 2012. those shows knew when enough was enough, and given the fact that private practice was a spin off of greys anatomy let's me know that the show runners know when enough is enough, they just don't know how to figure it out for greys.

i understand that it's one of those shows that fans are clinging to because it's a comfort show, but recycling storylines and character arcs just aren't cutting it anymore. they've killed off all of their good characters and are now trying to patch it up with characters that will never compare to previous cast members. they have no original storylines left because there's nothing left to do. and don't even get me started on the fact that they've been trying to replace derek since the moment he died. i don't even think meredith got a full season before they were throwing new love interests at her, and while yes, i liked other more love interests than other ones, there's no replacing derek. yes derek might have been a walking mcredflag but i am a derek shepherd girlie 100% and killing him off should have been the end. like if they were going to extend it past the plane crash, derek's death should have been the end.

another thing that bothers me - ellen pompeo's status on the show. she is the main character. if the main character has to step back because her brain "feels like scrambled eggs" and becoming a recurring guest star rather than in the main cast, that should be a major sign that it's over. enough is enough. you can tell in the last few seasons that she's become so monotone and robotic. she's not meredith anymore. it's obvious that she doesn't want to be there, and yet she keeps getting roped in to more episodes.

like i understand keeping the show going for the super fans who will binge the entire series and for the new watchers who started watching the newer seasons but it's to a point where seeing the announcements for another season actually angers me. bringing back old characters doesn't change how shitty the show is. did i love the beach scenes during the covid season? yes. do i love that they've brought addison back a few times recently? yes. was arizona's episode last week make me a little excited? perhaps. but it's not enough.

[thebetterluthor]

Currently burning my brain on medical TV shows and I have to say: Miami Medical was fine. No, seriously, it was fine. There's some real bad shows out there. Miami Medical delivered. Weird cases but not too out there to be unbelievable. Engaging characters without being too much in each others pants (to the point of being ridiculous: I see you, Grey's Anatomy).

I think the only reason it didn't catch on was because the market was overflowing with medical shows by then. And also, Regina Mills was just around the corner, about to be majestic AF.

[pinkaddiofficial]

https://youtu.be/CimvwbFjAOo

* They opsn the link, and the song immediately grabs their attention, catching them in the flow. A smile finds its way onto their face as they bob their head to the beat.

Oh, this is fun! It's a bit hard to understand the lyrics... oh, there they are, in the description!

...!

Oh, ho ho, I see why you sent this!

* Their smile gets a big sad.

This could apply to both of the Spamton's I've dated, no? In a literal sense, the singer's girlfriend has lost her memory due to some error, and has devoted themself to a singular purpose, just like my current Spamton.

But in another sense... the song seems as though it is a metaphor for being neglected in love, yes? Look here, at these lyrics...

"Now ya got me on my knees, I'm begging 'Baby, darling, please, just want you to hold me.'"

And...

* They lift a finger to point another one out, but then they frown.

My.. apologies, most of these lyrics, well.. they seem a bit more tailored to my personal experience, ho ho...!

S-see, here:

"Now we at a junction, but I can't spurn her. Said I love her too much to return her."

"All my days are turnin' kinda gray, but I'll be damned to lose you this way."

"Her love for me is all she used to profess, now all she wanna do is design a dress."

"She used to be my world, now it's like a living hell..."

* They trail off, rubbing at their eyes.

M-my apologies, ho! It seems as though, no matter how hard I try, everything... a-always seems to come back to him.

I... I truly am trying to move on. Please, forgive me.

* It doesn't seem like they're talking to you.

[theprotagonistisdead]

I'm on e12 of house and it's the second disease i know. well beside the cancer

[alldancersaretalented]

Dancers attending P21 Intensive

??

Olivia Elise Victoria Nikolovva

AM Dance

Aurora Monroe

Ale Mancillas Dance Studio

Balbina Cueva

Allegro Performing Arts Academy

Arina Bryzgunova Bella Verbera-Hernandez

Aspirations Dance Company

Lola Nelms

Avanti Dance Company

Hayden Goren Eva Graziano Mia Menji Kaylee Randeniya Rosie Zahoul Sans Blair Tennant

Capitol Dance Company

Malia ?

Center Stage Performing Arts

Tommie Milazzo

Club Dance Studio

Brooklyn Besch Emma Kleve Claire Pistor

Dance Alliance of Camarillo

Shiloh Lark Farrah ?

Dance Dimensions Performic Arts Center

Victoria Safahi Serena Wilcox

DanceDynamicsLV

Lyla Haider

Dance Collective DC

Janelle Liu

Dance Edge Studios

Antonia Zanin

Dance Magic Performic Company

Savannah Lee

Dance Makers of Atlanta

Nola Paulina

Danceology

Ella Bustillos Hudson Hensley Ella Nani Knight Ella Koehnen Soleil Lynch Aria McCrea Cheyenne Ringerman Sydney Swinehart

Dance Republic

Graisyn Clare

Dansé Escuela de Danza

Alexa Ahumada Marielisa Portillo Isabella Trabucco

DC Dance Factory

Pay Lynch

Dolce Dance Studio

Brixtyn Cappo

École de dance Louise

Léonie Macorig

Edge Studios

Sienna ? Aria Giusti

Encore ELite

Leona Zariel

Epic Motion Dance Studio

Maria Sofia Rodríguez Mia Sofia Covarrubias Tinoco

Essence of Dance

Ava Killam Makena Killam Briar ?

Eternal Dance Company

Maddie Kronenberg

Evoke Dance Movement

Emmy Claire

Evolution Dance

Scarlett O'Neil

Evolve Dance Center

Maria Belen Salido

Evolve Dance Centre

Izabella Modarresi

Excel Performing Arts

Emma Sheff

Fusion Dance Omaha

Gigi Murray

Glass House Dance

Eden Cui

Groove Studios WA

Kaiden Koths Abby Mae

Hart Academy of Dance

Lydon Thach

Havilah Dance Company

Caitlyn Marie Malea Jade Moore

Inferno Dance Co

Maizie Smith

Instyle Dance Company

Jacilynn Mar

Janet Dunstans Dance Academy

Adeline Glenn

K2 Studios

Neriah Karmann Lennon Reign Jessica Sutton

Larkin Dance Studio

Matinly Conrad Palmer Petier

Legacy Dance Productions

Sophie Boonstra Paisley Clarke

Legacy Studio of Performing Arts

Brynne Smith

McKinley School of Dance

Teodora Narancic

Murrieta Dance Project

Khloe Cabrera Gracie Gilroy

N10 Dance Studio

Claire Avonne Kingston Madison Ng

No Limits Dance Academy

Ayanna Voulgaris

Nor Cal Dance Arts

Aria Davi Aubrey Paz Olyvia Reza

North Calgary Dance Centre

Ellie Blakley Georgia Blakley

OCPAA

Libby Haye

Onstage Dance Center - Los Alamitos

Adalyn Nicole

Pave San Diego

Eleanor Bullock Aryanna La Fontaine Cooper

Pave School of the Arts

Sofia Cuevas Stella Fisk Livi Matson

Perception Dance

Mabel James

Project 21

Ellie Anbarden Olivia Armstrong Lilly Barajas Sienna Carlston Kami Couch Katie Couch Kenzie Couch Airi Dela Cruz Stella Eberts Gracyn French Regan Gerena Richie Granese Mady Kim Brooklyn Ladia Leilani Lawlor Chloe Mirabel Savanna Musman Madelyn Nasu Avery Reyes Berkeley Scifres Bristyn Scifres Sara Von Rotz Leighton Werner

Project 520 Dance Studio

Adelynn ? Karli Heim Sasha Muratalieva

Queen City Dance

Annabel Speck

Seattle Storm Dance Troupe

Claire Clark

Shooting Stars Dance Studio

Karsyn Hernandez Malani Maliya

Stars Dance Studio

Hannah Burak Catherine Clayton Fabiana Pierleoni Elie Rabin

Starstruck Performing Arts Center KS

Kinley Winn

Steps Dance Center

Emmie Pitt

Studio Fusion

Harley Gross Juliet Anne Wydo

The Collaborative

Addison Cullather

The Company Space

Piper Perusse Stella Marcordes Vivian Marcordes

TheCREW

Isabella Tamayo

The Dance Collective DC

Eva Rogachevsky Quincy Thomas

The Dance Collective MD

Lyla Urban

The Dance Company of Los Gatos

Scarlett Blu Chloe Rose

The Vision Dance Alliance

Emily Polis

Utah Ballet Festival

Ruby Taylor

West Coast Dance Complex

Mila Barnett

Xtreme Dance Studio

Jocelyn Longroy

YYC Dance Project

Kinsley Oykhman

[drghostwrite]

Supply Closets & Satin Sheets

Pairing: Addison Montgomery x fem!reader

Summary: Addison finds out about Derek and Meredith and isn't taking it well, you just so happen to stumble in on her while she's having a bad day and the unexpected or so it seems happens.

********************************************************************

You were trying to catch a break, you were working on a procedure plan for some upcoming surgeries, two weeks ago you had saved a patient's life, a 32-hour surgery that was touch and go, the news picked up on it and before long people knew your name. After that you were being chased down for every big surgery, you were there to do one thing save lives, and you didn't mind the attention but it became too much when every time you were transporting a patient from a trauma bay people were chasing you down asking to scrub in.

You quickly turned the corner moving down the hall staring at your chart, you the squeak of sneakers as a nurse stepped out in front of you, "Hey woah," He said quickly dodging you and watching as you kept going.

"I'm so sorry." you said stopping to talk to him.

"It's all good, you're not usually one we have to worry about, you have a reputation." he laughed with a sly smirk. you looked up at him head tilted curiously.

"Only good I hope?" you responded.

"Oh honey only the best," he smirked, "Badass trauma surgeon, drop dead gorgeous and actually has respect for human beings, not just the ones with MD behind their name."

"Oh well, I try my best."

"Yea and that's exactly why patients love you, nurses help you, interns want to get on your service, and every resident wants to scrub in with you."

"Really?" you smirked at him.

He chuckled at how oblivious you were, "Sweetheart just trust me."

"Thanks." you both chuckled.

"Anytime Sinclair, anytime." he said with a smirk, as you turned to leave.

"Oh and by the way Y/N, call me Y/N."

"Nice to finally meet you, I'm Jordan." you turned heading down the hall to your office. You walked by the wall of windows across from your office and saw a group of interns standing outside the door, you quickly turned down the hall to leave and saw another group so you slipped into a supply closet. you out your back on the door closing your eyes and allowing yourself to slide to the floor, head in your lap using the quiet to take a deep breath for yourself. It wasn't long though before you heard a sniffle. You listened waiting to hear it again and that's when you heard it someone was in here with you.

"Hello?" you said, no response so you stood and moved around the first rack, that's when you saw her, Addison Montgomery the fiery, sexy red-head, sitting on the floor head in her hands.

"Addie?" she looked up at you her eyes were red and slightly puffy from crying. You sat down next to her, she turned to look at you.

"Y/n... I-I can't...De-Derek and Meredith...I-I know." she broke down into more tears, you pulled her close to you letting her cry until she couldn't anymore.

"Addie," you whispered softly, "Addison you can't do this to yourself."

"Y/N I came here to fix things and I thought we were getting somewhere, I moved in with him and things were working and then I find out that the entire time he's been with her and he couldn't even tell me about it."

"Addison..."

"It would've been so much easier if he would've told me before but instead he lead me on and then I found out from some nurses and by watching them."

"Addison there are other people for you, that love you, and want more for you... Addison Forbes Montgomery you are gorgeous and smart, funny and compassionate, one of the most skilled surgeons I've ever encountered and you deserve so much more than..." you rambled on and she sat there looking at you, admiration in her eyes and that's when it occured to her, it's you, she quickly grabbed your chin and kissed you, you leaned into her and slowly leaned her back you hand running along her side as she grasped tightly onto your scrub top. Moments later your pager went off pulling you apart, both breathing heavily.

"Addison..."

"It's okay, you have to go."

"I do but this isn't over," you said leaning closer to her eyes interlocked, you glanced down at her lips and kissed her again this time as gently as possible, letting her know that you wanted this.

---time jump---

One 48 hour shift later and you hadn't heard from Addison, you had been through hell in the ER and were finally getting to go home, you now found yourself in black sweats and your old Harvard t-shirt lounging on your couch, a Whiteclaw can on the corner of the table the TV playing in the background, you heard a knock on the door and stood throwing your phone on the couch beside you.

"coming!" you called, you opened the door to be met with Addison, this time though she was dressed in jeans and a henley, her hair laid perfectly, amber eyes staring back into yours.

"Addie."

"Y/N, can we um... I need you." She kissed you, you pulled her closer by her belt loops of her jeans, you laughed against her.

"You sure about this?"

"Never been more sure about anything." she said against you.

"Let's go baby." you said turning her into the apartment and kicking the door close behind you, you both stumbled towards your bedroom only breaking to open the door and guide her around your apartment.

You guided her into your bedroom and she quickly pulled your shirt over your head revealing you had nothing on underneath, she pulled the string on your sweats and allowed them to pool around your ankles, you quickly kicked them aside and Addison stepped back looking over your body.

"God, you're gorgeous." she said scanning your body run her hands over you.

"I can't wait to see what you're working with," you said playing with the button on her jeans and quickly stripping her of all clothing, you looked over her quickly before lifting her and wrapping her legs around your waist, laying her onto the silk sheets covering the bed before crawling over top of her from the bottom.

you placed kisses on her lips before working to either side of her neck and then down her chest leaving marks along her stomach, you could feel the skin shiver beneath you with excitement. "You ever been with a woman before?" you asked moving back up her body and looking into her eyes.

"I-I uhh no... Can you teach me?"

"Baby I can do a lot more than teach you." you responded before going back down on her

--- time jump---

You heard your phone go off in the next room, pulling you out of your slumber, that's when you still felt the weight of an arm wrapped around your torso, you felt the cool sheets against your bare skin, her head on your chest legs tangled together.

You ran your hands through her smooth auburn hair, feeling her shift below you... "mmm, good morning."

"Morning beautiful." she curled herself into you pulling you closer.

"You know slik sheets and your bed are a lot better than some supply closet or an on call room."

"True, so now you know that you always have a place come to."

"So what does this mean for us?"

"Addison this means whatever you want but if we decide to give this a chance, I'm going to do it right."

"I think I'm willing to give us a shot."

"Then Addison Montgomery will you be my girlfriend?"

"Y/N Sinclair I would love to."

"So can I make you breakfast?"

"You cook?"

"Sweetheart that's just one of the many things I can do." you said leaning down to kiss her.

[marasmadness]

Welcome!

Hi angels, I’m Mara <3 I’ve been writing for a few different fandoms for a while now but I figured I’d attempt starting something on here so I could answer one shot requests :)

Things I will write: smut, BDSM & most related concepts, 2+partners, dark!characters, etc. ( always feel free to ask)

Characters I’ll write for:

CRIMINAL MINDS

- Emily Prentiss

-Elle Greenaway

-Jennifer Jareau

-Alex Blake

SUPERGIRL

- Lena Luthor

- Kara Danvers

OCEAN’S EIGHT

-Lou Miller

-Debbie Ocean

SEX EDUCATION

- Maeve Wiley

-Jean Milburn

GREY’S

- Addison Montgomery

- Carina Deluca

OUAT

- Emma Swan

- Regina Mills

- Ruby Lucas

OTHER

- Diana Prince

HOUSE MD

-Thirteen

Lisa Cuddy

AGATHA ALL ALONG

- Agatha Harkness

- Rio Vidal

[kekeartzworld]

Comfort

Our beloved transfem deer bot with her fawn

Unfortunately for Addison, she had to witness Alice die to robo raptors years later (the sketch takes place shortly after Nori left them)

Also I had given Alice the hoofed feet since that is also something Addison has

Consider it a sort of HC design or smthin idk

[emily-prentits]

10 characters, 10 fandoms

Rules: list your ten favorite characters from ten different fandoms and tag ten people :D

tagged by @justalesbianwithsomegayshit! tyy

Addison Montgomery (Greysverse)

Paper Star/Tammy (Carmen Sandiego)

Rio Vidal (Agatha All Along)

Angela Montenegro (Bones)

Lisa Cuddy (House MD)

Lauren Bloom (New Amsterdam)

Saya Ishii (Silk comics)

Charlotte King (Private Practice)

Donna Paulsen (Suits)

Irina Derevko (Alias)

no pressure tagging: @lisascumslut78 @crime-wives @byulyi @peridotglimmer @mostlikelyshutup

@miz-chase @jackie-shitposts @itsdappleagain @shrrpteeth @queer-boo-radley

[lucy-mclean]

10 characters, 10 fandoms

Tagged by: @katebeckets, thank you Emily! 🤍

Fiona Gallagher (Shameless)

Nathan Drake (Uncharted)

Kate Beckett (Castle)

Seeley Booth (Bones)

Ellie Williams (The Last of Us)

Addison Montgomery (Grey’s Anatomy/Private Practice)

Gregory House (House MD)

Jemma Simmons (Agents of Shield)

Peyton Sawyer (One Tree Hill)

Alexis Rose (Schitt’s Creek)

Tagging (feel free to ignore ofc): @xenobites @madeline-kahn @laurens-german @rebecca-weltons @narliee @nick-nellson @alexcabotgf @alexisrosemullens @maisieepeters @scullay

[privatehousesanatomy]

y'know what? addison montgomery and lisa cuddy would be a hot couple js.

[she-karev]

Birth (Andrew DeLuca x Alex Karev’s Sister Labor Imagine)

Previous Part Here

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: One of Two

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

AN: Hey guys here’s the next story I hope you like it and I’ll post the next one in the morning.

Summary: Amber is in a delivery room in labor with Andrew DeLuca by her side and Addison Montgomery as her doctor.

Words: 1930

October 20th, 2022

I groan out in pain lying in my birthing bed wearing a hospital gown so I can finally give birth. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of pain before that happens based on how I’m leaning forward while my uterus tightens up. All I can do is hold Andrew’s hand as the next contraction comes and hits me like a truck. Dr. Addison Montgomery is also in the room feeling around my stomach as I collapse on the bed once the contraction ends. I let go of Andrew’s hand and he rubs it clearly hurting after my vice grip.

Addison moves back and checks the monitor for my vitals, “Okay Dr. DeLuca your contractions are 10 minutes apart and you’re progressing very nicely.”

Her diagnosis is pissing me off, “Oh god that’s what you call progressing nicely you rotten old bat. Ugh! I call it a bumpy road trip down to hell.”

Andrew steps in to humanize me as he curls his fist to make sure I didn’t break any bones, “She didn’t mean that, the ‘rotten old bat’ part.”

“I think I did.”

Andrew chuckles nervously and tries again, “We both appreciate you taking the time to deliver our baby. I’m sure your schedule is packed.”

Addison isn’t mad though she just grins, “Oh no please ever since Roe V Wade was overturned, I’m in the front row of the fallout. A birth is something I needed to bring some joy into my life and remind me why I first got into OB so thank you.”

I sigh at that, “Any chance you can thank me by taking over?”

Addison chuckles, “It’s okay everybody reacts to giving birth differently. I’ve been in this specialty for almost 30 years believe me I have seen it all.”

I exhale as Andrew chuckles and explains, “I wouldn’t bet on it Dr. Montgomery, Amber is a very unique individual.”

I glare at him, “Shut up Andrew nobody is asking for your opinion.” He simply nods knowing better than to challenge me in the state I’m in.

“I’m sure you both know this but the next step is to wait for the contractions to get a little closer together before asking you to push.”

“Oh god they get closer together?” I ask terrified then remember I have an MD, “Wait a minute I knew that. Of course, I knew that I’m a doctor I would have to know that.” I sigh and remorse comes to me as I face Addison, “I’m sorry I called you a rotten old bat. You actually look very good for your age.”

She chuckles at that, “It’s okay and yes you did know that. If you didn’t, I would be dealing with your brother intern year again.” I chuckle lightly at that, “Don’t worry Amber you know everything you need to know about giving birth and whatever you forget your husband will be there to remind you. Your next contraction is in ten minutes I have a consult to get to but I will be right back.” Dr. Montgomery begins to walk out the door with Andrew looking worried about being left alone with me but he stands by my side and holds my hand again.

“Okay so breathe through your nose.”

“Do not tell me what to do.” My hormones and contractions are making me extra cranky, “Ugh I need to walk around get me off this bed.”

“Are you sure?” Andrew asks causing me to glare at him which scares him so much he complies, “Okay then let’s walk around the room for a bit here we go.” He helps me off the bed and I make it to five feet before I lean my elbows against the table breathing in and out with Andrew rubbing my back to comfort me, “So I’m gonna risk poking the bear and ask have you thought of a name for the child to be?”

I look behind to narrow my eyes at him, “Really? Now? You pick now to ask that? I am about to push a melon through a keyhole and you choose to bring up how we’re lagging in the name department?”

He rubs my back and continues, “I think now is the right time, I know we said TBD but we should probably D it before we have a chubby faced baby and a blank line on the birth certificate. We ruled out your mom for obvious reasons, what about grandma’s? I’ve got Aria, and Adelina, you?”

I inhale deeply and exhale before responding, “You mean Miriam and Ruth who rejected me and left me and my brothers to fend for ourselves in foster care when their son and daughter couldn’t take care of us? You want to name our loved daughter after those negligent bitches?”

He winces at that harsh reminder, “You know what let’s forget grandparents how about we meet her first and it’ll come to us.”

I groan at my discomfort again, “Whatever gets you to shut up I will take it. God why did I talk myself into this? Why didn’t I wait until electric wombs were invented or cloning was in human trials? I could’ve saved myself so much misery.”

He runs his hands through my hair, “You’re doing great just breathe through the pain.”

I breathe like he suggests, “Shut up about my pain, you don’t know what is going on inside my body right now.”

“I don’t know I was beaten and stabbed I’m sure I can relate on some level.”

I grip the ends of the table as sweat drips from my forehead, “I was beaten too and this right here this is like getting stabbed a hundred times in your pelvis and you’re pooping out your insides.”

His eyes widen at that image, “That does sound painful.” Suddenly my emotions get the better of me and I go from angry to sad because I start to cry and then sob like a lunatic. I can tell Andrew is surprised but he stays and rubs my shoulders, “Oh no, hey it’s okay the pain is all a natural part of labor I don’t know it personally but the one upside to riding this out is having a baby in the end to make it all worth it. I mean that’s something isn’t it?” I still sob though and I can tell Andrew is stumped but trying to mend me as he affectionately rubs my back, “Come on I’m sorry I would make it so this process has no pain at all. I would make it to where you push and then pop we have a baby trust me.”

I sniffle and stop sobbing but I still have tears in my eyes, “It’s not the pain, I grew up in a hell house, my foster parents were crap, my brother beat me to near death and I worked in a hospital during covid I can handle the pain.” I tear up and my voice hitches, “I’m sad because I’m afraid of continuing the cycle.”

“What? What do you mean?”

I sniffle as I walk back to the bed with Andrew helping me up, “I mean what person thought ‘oh look here’s a baby now I have something to hit’ maybe my dad didn’t same for my mom but look at what they did in their trial as parents. I already look like my mom what if I do to our kids what she did to hers?”

He looks at me in sympathy as he helps me lie down in bed and covers me with a blanket, “Amber-”

I hold my hand up to silence him, “No I know what this is, I know it’s the hormones causing all this crazy thinking and I should ignore it but I can’t because there’s no off switch and it’s not like some creep in a bus you just avoid eye contact with. All of this uncertainty brings me back to my childhood when I would watch my mom get dragged away by orderlies screaming nonsense about the government watching us through the smoke alarms which I genuinely believed until that day. And now I’m about to become a mother and suddenly I think ‘what if I’m like her?’” I tear up again, “And she was the worst mother in the world. What if I’m just the latest in my family’s long line of horrible mothers?” I sob again, putting my hand over my eyes so I don’t see the look on Andrew’s face as I break down in the worst time possible.

“Shh it’s okay it’s gonna be okay.” I still sob as he tries to soothe me, “Look I thought the same thing when I started getting manic okay? Remember when I was at my worst and I took it out on everyone and you especially?” I sob harder at that memory, “Sorry I have a point here I promise. I thought the diagnosis was the end and I was just like my manic and reckless father who refuses to talk to me. I pushed you away, I quit my job and I let myself get in the deep end. I thought I was doomed but I wasn’t, Carina, Webber and Bailey they all showed me that and I decided to prove myself wrong and I did. And now I’m good not cured but good and despite everything I did I earned your trust back. I did that and I am so glad I did because it brought me to this moment with you.” I calm down a bit remembering that as awful as that period of our lives was it brought us closer together and made us stronger as a couple.

“Look I’m not saying I’m not scared too I get terrified thinking I’m gonna screw up this kid like my dad screwed me up but I know that I’m not and I know that you’re not gonna repeat your mom’s mistakes either.” I wipe a tear away as my sobs lessen, “I know you had a crappy mom but at the very least you know what not to do. You’re the strongest, most caring, and compassionate person I know and this kid could do a lot worse for a mom. Amber we’re not our parent’s, we’re us and I don’t think I know we’re gonna end our family pattern. It stops here with me and you. It ends with us.”

My sobs stop completely as I let his speech sink in and I become less afraid. It’s the hormones but it’s also my fear of ending up like my mother that has been in my mind for years. I don’t know how this is gonna go but I know how it’s not and I’ll be damned if it does. His last words hit me and I raise an eyebrow at him recognizing it, “You read that Colleen Hoover book I got for me didn’t you?”

His eyes widen at that, “Well…I…” He sighs as he confesses, “It was on your nightstand I decided to read a chapter…I ended up reading the whole thing while you were asleep.” I laugh at that imaging him reading a recently popular romance drama that even got me stirred up in emotions, ��It was pretty good.”

I nod in agreement, “It was. Thanks for making me laugh.”

“Thank Colleen.” I chuckle, “The next contraction is in 30 seconds do you want to hold my hand?”

“Don’t hate me if I break it.” I grab his hand and grip it as the next fireball of pain takes me causing me to scream.

Next Part Here

[quill-of-thoth]

Re: medical school in your post abt Watson and Holmes' ages: "medical school" isn't a thing in the UK. You study medicine as an undergraduate (i.e. straight out of school at 18) and the course takes 5-6 years depending on the university. So Watson's age is perhaps 18 + 5/6 + some years (?) in the army, i.e. 26 at least.

Hi Nonny, thank you so much for the information! Based on my research into the late 1800's, a five to six year medical school stint is less likely (though possible): most men going to medical school (read: attending university with the intent to get a medical degree, though there were some institutions that were only for studying medicine) and graduating in the 1870's and 1880's were emerging with MD degrees at the ages of 22 or 23. There just wasn't as much medicine to be schooled in yet. So this doesn't change too much regarding Dr. John Watson's biography prior to A Study in Scarlet Here are a handful of other doctors who graduated in the 1870's through 1900, for context. Dr. Theodore Acland (graduated age 22) Christopher Addison (graduated age 23) Thomas Allinson (graduated age 21) Alfred Barrs (graduated age 22) Thomas Bond (Graduated age 24, known for his work in criminal profiling, particularly for his attempts to profile Jack the Ripper)

You'll notice that all of these last names start with A or B, and that's just an artifact of how I checked my work. Once I found a list of late 19th century english physicians, and looked up a dozen famous doctors of the approximate right era I quit looking: the ones that were in their middle or late twenties when receiving their degrees were in the minority, likely because, for reasons I mentioned in the original timeline: the Victorian doctor spent two to three years on his professional education before getting a degree and entering some sort of practice - whether he became an army doctor like Watson, worked in a hospital, or became a junior partner in another physician's practice.

Wikipedia does a large list of famous 18th century doctors, for anyone else looking to do a little recreational research today. I've been sticking to people with articles that are more than stubs, with definite years of birth and graduation, (So not William Henry Allchin, great name by the way, who received his degree at age 25 but who I just don't have the data on to know if he started medical school a couple years later than average or what,) and unfortunately to the men, to make sure I'm getting a broad enough sample of Watson's contemporaries, given that a lot of women who were doctors did not take the exact same route in their studies, either needing to spend more time traveling to institutions that would take them, being denied entry to their examinations due to gender, or a whole host of other things. There were also a number of men finishing degrees at 25, even among the people I dismissed as being born too early to be a good comparison: not everybody went directly to medical school at 18 or 19, and of course you have to consider things like travel taking forever and disease being harder to treat when determining if any individual was a year behind or so in their course of study. Specializing into newer fields also took longer: briefly looking at people who went into neurology (then a much newer field) or specialized in pediatrics, they tended to gain their degrees a little later. (Fun note: While scraping through this list I found a couple of famous fellows named Beddoes: whether we decide Watson is searching for aliases to protect the guilty or Doyle is inventing names for characters, we may know where he got the name for poor Mr. Trevor's friend in The Gloria Scott.) As always, I am being incredibly normal about this. Hope it helped! Someone at least.