#maybe though like... a little more accurately

[notquitecanon]

Dense // Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader

Summary: A pretty little thing like you isn't flirting with Ghost? Are you?

Based off a prompt that's been a worm in my brain since 8th grade (I'm 25 now) and I'm probably going to write the same exact thing from the other POV.

TW: none, just a little fluffy hopefully funny insight into Simon's thought process.

God, Lieutenant Riley was dense.

That's what most people thought after watching him interact with you for longer than three minutes at a time. You'd been working in communications for two years now, mostly dealing with Captain Price but Ghost was always lurking around somewhere nearby. You'd been warned to avoid him.

He's mean, He's surly, he'll bite your head right off. He's dangerous blah blah blah...

What they didn't consider was that he was a tree of a man- tall, dark, and mysterious with pretty eyes. And you had little to no survival instincts when it came to a man who knew how to shut the fuck up.

It was obvious to anyone who watched you interact with him for any amount of time. How you stood closer to him than need be, how you watched him through your lashes when he spoke his few words to you, the way your voice changed when you spoke to him. Then it was the little touches and little gifts, sitting with him at empty tables when others would turn and walk the other way. You were so sweet on him, maybe even smitten with him.

Ghost never seemed to notice, and if he did he didn't pay it much mind. Just assumed you were just one of those chatty and nice people he seemed to attract every now and then- like Price or Soap. It didn't hurt either that you were sweet & pretty & and smelled good... no, didn't hurt at all and certainly didn't mean anything.

He brushed off Johnny and Gaz's teasings, met Price's knowing looks with icy glares. You definitely weren't flirting with him. There was no way someone like you was pursuing someone like him romantically. That was... ridiculous. Right?

Still. Something about that idea scratched his brain just right. Planted a seed that you unknowingly watered with sweet smiles and bright eyes. So, he started paying more attention.

You never got Price's attention by lingering a small, warm hand on the Captain's bicep- but you did with Ghost. You were chatty with Gaz, but never so much so that you made yourself late to other engagements- Ghost was losing track of the times you'd been chatting at with him only to look at your watch and scurry off with hot cheeks. And Soap could make you laugh, but he never got your cheeks to turn that pretty pink color- Ghost rarely saw you without rosy cheeks. Hmmm... Interesting.

So, he watched and observed (pined and yearned, more accurately). Until one day when he noticed how you flipped your hair over your shoulder as you spoke to him, direct eye contact through fluttering lashes, the dilation of your eyes.

"You have such pretty eyes-" You barely finished your statement before he interjected. He cut you off before you could even giggle, voice stern and hard and quick as those pretty dangerous eyes narrowed in a way that would have chased anyone else off. Not you though.

"Are you flirting with me?"

He asked, taking a looming step closer to you where you were standing by the breakroom coffee machine. He expected you to stutter out an excuse or apologize, or even frantically excuse yourself. He did not expect you to sigh, almost in relief(?) with that bright smile of yours.

"I have been for the last two years." You breathe in admittance, "But thanks for noticing now."

Bloody hell, you were trying to kill him.

----

I wrote this instead of paying attention in lecture

[kurishiri]

01┊Dark If —Alfons Sylvatica—

꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ notice ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ this translation may not be 100% accurate or contain creative liberties due to characterization or narrative flow purposes. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but don’t repost these or claim these as your own!

— cw: implied alcohol consumption, implied dub-con ("consented" while intoxicated; fade to black)

Victor: Miss Kate, may you reach the happiest end with your hands.

V: ——Now, off you go to the twisted fairytale world.

When I awoke, I was on top of the bed within a beautiful castle.

(...This place...)

When I looked around, I realized it was all around silent, as if my surroundings were being blanketed by a curtain of night.

Blond-haired, blue-eyed man: ...Are you awake?

(...Such a pretty person. In fact, I’ve never seen anyone more so than him.)

Blond-haired, blue-eyed man: Good morning, Snow White.

(Wait, I’m Snow White!? So that must mean I was sent to the world of Snow White.)

Kate: ...Um, I apologize for my rudeness seeing as we’ve only just met, but may I ask who you are?

Queen Elbert: ...Elbert. Or as I’m called, ‘the Greedy Queen.’

(This person is the queen?)

In the fairy tale Snow White, the queen was a character who envied the beauty of Snow White, and so she tried to use a poisoned apple to kill her.

(So this person might be the perpetrator of this world’s flaws?)

Kate: ...And why am I in this castle?

Queen Elbert: That’s because the hunter, Roger...

—— Flashback ——

Roger the Hunter: Hey, you there? This lil lady here fainted in the forest.

Queen Elbert: ...I am here.

—— End flashback ——

Kate: The nerve he has to treat people like objects! ...But, thank you for saving me.

This world was slightly different from the events of its fairy tale.

(...It must be because of that ‘missing thing.’)

Queen Elbert: ...Snow White.

Kate: Y-yes...

His [1] rather intense staring rendered me stiff as the beautiful queen tilted his head.

Queen Elbert: Are you hungry?

He took me to the dining room table, where a plethora of dishes were lined up.

(Whoa...there’s fluffy bread, corn potage, and even dessert!)

(Wait, wait, but what if there’s poison in them...)

Queen Elbert: ...Is there something you are unable to eat?

Kate: Ah, um... no.

He pulled back the seat, urging me to sit, before he sat one chair’s length away.

It was as though he was being considerate of how cautious I was.

Kate: Why go this far for me? This is the first time we’ve met, after all.

Queen Elbert: ...Why, you ask... I am looking for the most beautiful thing in the world.

Queen Elbert: And perhaps you may be that very thing.

The smile in his blue eyes was laced with madness and beautifully frightening,

but that faded the next moment like a summer mirage.

Queen Elbert: ...That, and I did not want you to be alone.

Kate: Alone?

Queen Elbert: ...I was thinking being alone the first thing you wake up would be quite lonely.

Madness and kindness... I felt both were a part of his true feelings, and I felt the caution slowly melt away.

Kate: I, too, am looking for a ‘missing thing.’

Queen Elbert: Oh, then... maybe asking Al would do you good.

Kate: Al?

Queen Elbert pointed to a single portrait,

where he and the profile of another person was painted.

Queen Elbert: He is my attendant, Alfons Sylvatica. And he is my mirror.

Kate: A mirror...

Queen Elbert: He will tell me whether something is beautiful... along with many other things.

(Um, so basically I should go and see this Alfons the Mirror person?)

Kate: And where might he be?

Queen Elbert: ??...? (O_O)

Queen Elbert: ...I wonder.

(What.)

After getting permission from Queen Elbert, I searched within the castle, but...

(He’s not here.)

(Or here.)

(He’s nowhere to be found! Which means he’s not in the castle then?)

???: You seem to be in quite a pinch, Snow White. If you’re looking for Alfons the Mirror, he’s at the pub.

(Wh—just now, someone’s voice...)

There on the windowsill was a small bird, the color of night.

Kate: A talking bird...?

Little bird: Talking I do. Here is the twisted fairytale world. So things here might go beyond what you know as common sense.

(I guess that’s true...)

Kate: So he’s at the pub? Thank you for telling me.

Little bird: Oh, and be careful so the back of your neck doesn’t get touched. For he possesses the ability to temporarily overwrite your perceptions.

Little bird: Well then, I’ll be going now!

And so, I left the castle and stepped into the pub, where a salacious fragrance wafted.

(That jet-black haired man from that portrait...)

Alfons the Mirror: For the Snow White who has awakened from her slumber. Would you care for an apple, by any chance?

Alfons the Mirror: ...Ahh, such lines do seem to reflect Elbie well, I’d say.

There he was, the person from the portrait.

Kate: Are you Alfons?

Alfons the Mirror: Indeed, I am that ‘Alfons’ in the flesh. And what brings you waltzing into a place like this so nonchalantly?

Alfons the Mirror: And here I was thinking you would rather be spoiled rotten by that collecting-crazed queen.

(If I’m to get any information, I need to speak openly about the situation I’ve been put into.)

Kate: Actually...

—— Time skip ——

Alfons the Mirror: So you wish to find this ‘missing thing’ to return to reality, I see. And why is it so important that you find it?

Kate: Huh?

Alfons the Mirror: I would imagine there is a mountain of ways you can return back? What need is there to get so bent on finding this missing thing?

Kate: And what other methods are you talking about?

Alfons the Mirror: Oh, you know, hitting your head somewhere, drowning in some river, or dropping dead then and there, all that jazz.

(...Some ‘methods’ those are...)

From the few minutes we’ve been talking, it was more or less pretty clear to me that this person was quite villainous.

Kate: It may be as you say. But... I can’t think that I’m the only one that needs saving.

K: If I find the root of this missing thing, this world won’t be twisted any longer. That is my happy end.

Alfons: Ahha! You foolishly earnest soul, you.

A: Compared to protecting yourself, the fact that this world is twisted and the matters of others is such trivial matters, you know.

Kate: You didn’t need to call me foolish... but anyway, is there a missing thing in this world then?

Alfons the Mirror: Maybe? Or maybe not.

Kate: Then do your best to remember.

Alfons the Mirror: Hmm... it does seem to be on the tip of my tongue...

With an ostentatious air about him, Alfons handed me a cocktail, yellow in color.

Alfons the Mirror: Then, until I remember, may I ask you to join me for a cup?

Kate: ...But, I’m in the middle of searching...

Alfons the Mirror: But that thing won’t be found in a day or two, no? If you don’t take a breather once in a while, it’s going to bite you back, you know.

The voice in my ear and the cocktail he swirled before me caused my rationale to waver a bit.

(...He may have a point. It is true I’ve always been feeling a bit tense.)

Kate: Then... I’ll have a little.

Alfons the Mirror: By all means, go on and down it all. Master, one for me as well.

—— Time skip ——

In a small room at the back of the pub, two shadows swayed.

Alfons the Mirror: Hehe, come now... walk a bit more steady, why don’t you.

Kate: mmm...hic, I gan’t dring...any more...

Alfons the Mirror: Aha, you’re drunk through and through, I see.

When Alfons tried to lay Kate down on the bed, she grabbed tightly around his neck.

Alfons the Mirror: Oh dear...

Such a gesture stemmed from innocence, as if she was a child who lost her way back.

Alfons the Mirror: You shouldn’t embrace men with such a lonely look.

Alfons’ fingers slipped to the back of Kate’s neck as he murmured in her ear.

Alfons the Mirror: I am your very precious lover. Now then, surrender your body and heart to me...

Kate: ...Al...fons?

Alfons the Mirror: How about we forget about aaall the troublesome stuff...

to be continued…

← prologue [@.nightghoul381] next →

NOTES:

[1] I'm unsure about exactly what pronouns to use here; it was unclear (due to the way pronouns and subjects can be dropped or implied in Japanese). In Elbert's dark if story, for the majority he is referred to with feminine pronouns, and he's referred to as a queen here. I just decided to use masculine pronouns here, but just note it could very much be feminine too.

ko-fi ☕️ ┋ comms🤍

[calibratemehard]

Alrighty folks I finished the game. I will put non-spoiler thoughts here and then put my spoiler thoughts under the cut. Again, these are MY OPINIONS. I am happy to hear your thoughts but I'm not arguing with you because you won't change my mind.

* holy shit this is a big game

* Mournwatch is the best faction in my opinion. Idk they're just cool and not problematic lol

* there is some retconning of established facts, but I take it this way: it's been a long time since the original trilogy's events. Origins was canonically sometime almost 20 years before Veilguard - think of life 20 years ago, it was very different. A lot can change and gods coming back changes a lot. Factions grow and change and become something different. Also this is NORTHERN Thedas, an area we've never played in. With few exceptions we've always had companions from the south and learned information about the north second hand. I think that's important to keep in mind when people complain about things not staying the same or 'lore accurate.'

* I still recommend picking the same faction as your projected romantic interest

* The cameos are ... Fine. Again, it's been a long time in game. Are you the same person you were 10 years ago? 20 years? I think Morrigan is the most disappointing but my headcanon is that motherhood has really suited her, also a decision she made off screen that is explained to you during the course of the game also made her personality make a little more sense

* I think I liked this game because I went in with an open mind. I have always loved Bioware games for the writing and the companions and this game has those in spades. I loved how fleshed out the characters were though it doesn't approach the levels that say, Baldur's Gate 3 reaches. But overall it was an enjoyable experience, around 65 hours for me to finish just about everything. Though maybe shave off about 5 hours for the character creator, which was great.

Okay so now for the spoilers. DO NOT OPEN IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS!!

* I maxed out all of my companions and factions and nearly 100% every area. There was no quest undone. I think that's why I got a good ending, namely Solas agreeing to bind himself to the Veil, sharing a big kiss with Lavellan, and walking into the Fade together. I did lose one member, Harding, and that fucking sucked. I haven't looked into spoilers so I don't know if switching her and Davrin would have made a difference cause Davrin is a Warden and would have fared better against the blight idk. I'll have to look into it. Overall I was happy though.

* I ... Should have seen the Varric twist but I wasn't looking for it so it just passed over me. I was devastated, but I think that it was well done and well earned. Still sad though. That was the second time I cried during the finale, after Harding.

* This felt like a Bioware game to me. It felt big, it felt complex, and the humor was always there. The QoL improvements and expansion of classes and abilities made this so much fun.

* I felt the romances were lacking a bit in content, though Emmrich had suuuuch a sweet and gentle romance. I loved it so much. They banged in a graveyard in what I assume is a coffin. A+ love him, love Manfred. I just wish I had kiss options a la BG3. I got spoiled. 😅

* I'll play this again. And again. That's how my brain works. I think they need to patch a sort of 'golden nug' option into the game and a new game plus to make things better. If there are DLC, I'll happily play them.

[bee-in-a-box]

anywaysies I got my monkees paperbacks in themailand I really wasn'tsure what to expect and it's GOT COMICS!! I love thisart style its so cute

[lokh]

what do you think toshiro's version of laios would've been like if he was still with the group during the shapeshifter shenanigans

there have been a few speculations in the tag and among the fans and they are all very good SO i am going to take this opportunity to insert a bit of my shipping bias as i like in my interpretation LMAO agdsfgdfgv

i noted that in actuality shuro seems to have a very good grasp on laios' character??? this is most obvious in the manga later on but even seeing how he criticises laios in their fight... iirc nothing he says is actually untrue or wildly exaggerated, and while he does express frustration over something he feels like laios Should have control over (noticing his cues), he is also aware that laios isnt being malicious and that hes Just Like That. what i mean to say is that while i think his version of laios may seem more pushy and in-your-face, i dont think it will be overwhelmingly so. if its post-fight, i think the idea of laios (and marcille) being willing to do anything to get falin back made a big impression on him, as well as the idea that they need to eat and rest in order to succeed in their goals, so those aspects would be prominent in his version. he seems pretty observant, so i think for the most part the physical traits would line up, but i think there would be specific things that stand out to him that would appear strangely striking on his version of laios (like. idk something about his eye colour or the subtle contrast of his armour and chainmail. he seems to have a weird sense of aesthetics if extras are anything to go by lmao). if hed actually been paying attention all those times laios had gone on about what the hell ever, then it might be even MORE hard to tell apart his version since he would also have a good grasp on what laios should know. so either his version of laios is pretty difficult to pick out, OR despite the character being accurate his appearance is too. stylised lmao (exaggerated features or something) OR!! they just get him to pull out his monster gourmet guide thing and are able to tell from there. iirc everyone was surprised at its appearance so its possible toshiro had also never seen it before

IN MY IMAGINARY SHIPPING SCENARIO............ lets say that his laios isnt able to be picked out immediately and that the monster guide thing also doesnt immediately occur to anyone. what the real laios Specifically notices is how close this other laios keeps getting to shuro. and hes like. ??? why is he getting so close to him, theres no way i get that close to him??? but no one else seems to be picking up on it as weird, so hes having a small crisis like do i REALLY get that close to him???? and now that hes on the outside he notices shuro subtly leaning away and he feels both a wave of shame and..... protectiveness??? (JEALOUSY??????) and he immediately steps in and grabs him like Hey!!! cant you see hes uncomfortable???? weve been through this already!!! and like. ok i cant believe im doing this again but i need to separate this into different endings

a) the whump route: i dont think shuro ever envisioned Actually Telling laios about his frustrations outside of being basically cornered into it. has he ever spoken up against what was expected of him?? has he ever been confrontational???? i think part of what held him back from expressing his frustrations, along with the cultural norms, could be fear of what the reaction would be. if he had done the same in any other aspect of his life (his family, his inheritance), i think he would expect disappointment, disapproval, more proof that he doesnt add up to expectation. to be honest i dont think he Truly believes that laios is the type of person to react like this. but it was strong enough to prevent him from acting and i think would be projected onto his image of laios. maybe fake!laios says something dismissive like Well if it really bothered him hed say something right? what, he cant even stand up for himself? cmon, shuro, prove that you cant handle it just like everything else. and thats pretty much the fastest giveaway that it isnt really laios. of course this would be a HUGE tonal departure from what the actual episode/chapter was, so:

b) the dumbass route: both laioses break into fisticuffs, and, yes.... barking. and so they speedrun the entire encounter as the shapeshifters true form appears and, after laios points out that thinking too hard about others versions of you can tear apart groups and peace of mind, they pointedly do not speak of it again. they think about it though. a LOT

c) the normal route: both laioses argue normal like and the group ends up being able to tell them apart because the fake laios goes on a little too long about how theyre all here for falin and everyones like ok its not like he DOESNT love his sister but.......... the rest of the scenario probably goes like canon, though then i would want to see what everyone Else thought of shuro

[serpentface]

Do you conlang? I was wondering if you had naming languages (or possibly even more developed ones) for pulling the words you use. I tried to search your blog but didn't find anything, wouldn't be surprised if the feature is just busted tho. Your worldbuilding is wonderful and I particularly enjoy the anthropological and linguistic elements.

Ok the thing is I had kind of decided I was not going to do any conlanging because I don't feel like I'm equipped to do a good job of it, like was fully like "I'm just going to do JUST enough that it doesn't fail an immediate sniff test and is more thoughtful than just keysmashing and putting in vowels". And then have kinda been conlanging anyway (though not to a very deep and serious extent. I maybe have like....an above average comprehension of how language construction works via willingness to research, but that's not saying much, also I can never remember the meanings of most linguistic terms like 'frictives' or etc off the top of my head. I'm just kinda raw dogging it with a vague conceptualization of what these things mean)

I do at least have a naming language for Wardi (and more basic rules for other established languages) but the rudimentary forms of it were devised with methods much shakier and less linguistically viable than even the most basic naming language schemes, and I only went back over it LONG after I had already made a bunch of words so there's some inconsistencies with consonant presence and usage. (This can at least be justified because it IS a language that would have a lot of loanwords and would be heavily influenced by other language groups- Burri being by far the most significant, Highland-Finnic and Yuroma-Lowlands also being large contributors)

The 'method' I used was:

-Skip basic construction elements and fully move into devising necessary name words, with at least a Vibe of what consonants are going to be common and how pronunciation works -Identify some roots out of the established words and their meanings. Establish an ongoing glossary of known roots/words. -Construct new words based in root words, or as obvious extensions/variants of established words. -Get really involved in how the literal meanings of some words might not translate properly to english, mostly use this to produce a glossary of in-universe slang. -Realize that I probably should have at least some very basic internal consistency at this point. -Google search tutorials on writing a naming language. -Reverse engineer a naming language out of established words, and ascribe all remaining inconsistencies to being loanwords or just the mysteries of life or whatever.

I do at least have some strongly established pronunciation rules and a sense of broad regional dialect/accents.

-'ai' words are almost always pronounced with a long 'aye' sound.

-There is no 'Z' or 'X' sound, a Wardi speaker pronouncing 'zebra' would go for 'tsee-brah', and would attempt 'xylophone' as 'ssye-lohp-hon'

-'V' sounds are nearly absent and occur only in loanwords, and tend to be pronounced with a 'W' sound. 'Virsum' is a Highland word (pronounced 'veer-soom') denoting ancestry, a Wardi speaker would go 'weer-sum'.

-'Ch' spellings almost always imply a soft 'chuh' sound when appearing after an E, I, or O (pelatoche= pel-ah-toh-chey), but a hard 'kh' sound after an A or U (odomache= oh-doh-mah-khe). When at the start of a word, it's usually a soft 'ch' unless followed by an 'i' sound (chin (dog) is pronounced with a hard K 'khiin', cholem (salt) is pronounced with a soft Ch 'cho-lehm')

-Western Wardin has strong Burri cultural and linguistic influence, and a distinct accent- one of the most pronounced differences is use of the ñ sound in 'nn' words. The western city of Ephennos is pronounced 'ey-fey-nyos' by most residents, the southeastern city of Erubinnos is pronounced 'eh-roo-been-nos' by most residents. Palo's surname 'Apolynnon' is pronounced 'A-puh-lee-nyon' in the Burri and western Wardi dialects (which is the 'proper' pronunciation, given that it's a Kos name), but will generally be spoken as 'Ah-poh-leen-non' in the south and east.

-R's are rolled in Highland-Finnic words. Rolling R's is common in far northern rural Wardi dialects but no others. Most urban Wardi speakers consider rolling R's sort of a hick thing, and often think it sounds stupid or at least uneducated. (Brakul's name should be pronounced with a brief rolled 'r', short 'ah' and long 'uul', but is generally being pronounced by his south-southeastern compatriots with a long unrolled 'Brah' sound).

Anyway not really a sturdy construction that will hold up to the scrutiny of someone well equipped for linguistics but not pure bullshit either.

[invinciblerodent]

and another very small, very minor entry on the list of Things I'm Getting Just a Tiny Little Bit Miffy About Seeing Repeated (Not Angry Just Ever So Slightly Annoyed)TM:

dnd elves do, in fact, mature at the same rate humans do. they're not "like children" or "not considered full adults" until they hit 100- not to anyone other than other, older elves.

like I get where the thought comes from, I fully understand it, I've read many of the source materials myself, I've read Mordenkainen's and see where the misunderstanding comes from, but... to a human, or a tiefling, or anyone else shorter-lived than an elf, a 50-, 60-, 90-year-old elf is just like a 50-, 60-, 90-year-old of their own race would be. they just look much younger than their age, and act in accordance with their personality, which is.... much less tied to someone's age than many may think. (I mean, have you never met a 50-year-old who seems just staggeringly immature? a 20-year-old who is wiser than their years would allow? have you never been to a retail establishment???????)

it's only the other elves who view a younger one as emotionally immature, and that's mainly because they have yet to bury their first generation of friends and loved ones: something a shorter-lived person only has to do once, while elves may very well go through several cycles of that in one lifetime. They have also not yet had their Drawing of the Veil, when they stop being able to access primal memories, memories of their soul's previous lives, but it's mainly the "all my once-powerful and vibrant friends are now frail and dying from old age, and yet here I remain, as young, strong, and beautiful as the day they met me, untouched by the inexorable crawl of time, what is mortality, what is death" thing.

if the people of Faerun in general thought of a 40-year-old elf as immature, as if they were a child, Astarion would have just patently not been an appointed civil administrator and judicial officer (which is what a magistrate is) 200 years ago. like he could have of course been lying when he said that that's what he was, but taking it as the once-truth, nobody would have let someone they see as a child fill such a position of responsibility. It was, however, a perfectly mundane thing for a learned adult man, such as he was, to do. (what he may or may not have done with the power he allegedly had, the kind of person he was, and whether letting him have power was the right move overall, is pretty much completely irrelevant at this juncture. corrupt officials exist regardless of age, just look at the judicial system of any country today.)

an older elf like Halsin, their maturity is not just on a different level, it's measured by a different metric than that of a shorter-lived character.

it's hard to accurately roleplay or grasp something like this with our human minds, none of us have ever spoken to a 300-year-old after all, but.... a 100-year-old elf is not a "young adult", unless you're an elf yourself. If you're a human, they're just... an adult.

[icewindandboringhorror]

There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.

[medicinemane]

.

[palebloodpresence]

what if i said my genuine opinion of "rom the vacuous spider" is that she's actually not like, peaceful because she's stupid, she's just extremely fucking chill bc she's so enlightened. like she WILL defend herself but really she just wants to hide in her cool lake world and hide dark rituals

[kiealer]

i’m going to bed bc work tomorrow but i’d like to mention that now that jay has referred to ninazu’s dance style as ‘freestyle kpop’, i can’t unsee it 

[needlebeetles]

hey guys im not going to get into the copyright issues or what constitutes art (personally i think art is when something is presented with the intention of being appreciated aesthetically or prompting emotion or thought) because that's a lot more based on personal ideology and stuff, but I will let y'all know that item b is a little more nuanced?

ai training and the like do use quite a bit of energy, and studies show that a single ChatGPT query uses around 3 watt-houts, ten times more than the average google search. however, the average one person (usamerican) household uses 20.11 kilo-watt hours per day, so if we say, asked ChatGPT to write our history essay for us (don't do this, ChatGPT is more often than not a source of misinformation), that would be about 0.015% of our average daily energy usage. this post and this article here put the numbers more in perspective.

data centers (not specifically ones that host ai models) use 1.5% of global energy at most so if ai is going to destroy the planet it's certainly not going to be the only thing destroying the planet.

AI people: we're just as much artists as you are, you gotta be so observant and go through so many correcting phases for the picture to look good uwu also AI people:

[kurishiri]

02┊Dark If —Alfons Sylvatica—

꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ notice ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ this translation may not be 100% accurate or contain creative liberties due to characterization or narrative flow purposes. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but don’t repost these or claim these as your own!

— cw: implied dub-con, implied alcohol consumption, invasion of personal space.

(I-I-I...I...)

Alfons the Mirror: You’re rather quick to wake up, aren’t you. Well? Were you able to have a good dream last night?

(Why did I do such a thing... it was like Alfons was my lover...)

(Wait, like one...?)

Kate: Y-you did something to me, didn’t you?

Alfons the Mirror: Why indeed I did. We did a greaaat many things under consent.

A: That said, though, you ended up falling asleep, so we didn’t go all the way.

Kate: That’s not the point...!

Alfons the Mirror: Were you aware of my ability then? Because, yes, I did use it.

A: I am a mirror that reflects wishes and desires. I simply did what you wished for.

Kate: Wh—why would I ever wish for something so dirty...

Alfons the Mirror: Well I’ll be... is that really so?

Though I was intoxicated, I could still remember how I ended up wanting to lean into Alfons’ warmth.

Kate: Y-you’re the utter worst!

Alfons the Mirror: Aha, I do take a fancy to that reaction of yours. I prefer this loads over how you resembled a lost child last night.

Kate: Well, I won’t be seeking any more help from you.

Alfons the Mirror: Well then, how about I make a prediction? You will come to see me... I’m more than sure.

I straightened out my disheveled clothes and stood up as Alfons said while sprawled on the bed...

Alfons the Mirror: Ah, and...

(...?)

Alfons the Mirror: The first cocktail you drank last night is applejack. Despite all appearances, it’s quite some strong liquor.

A: A poisoned apple may not necessarily take the form of an apple itself. Do be careful from now on.

Perhaps out of frustration, or something else entirely, my cheeks grew hot.

Kate: Thanks for the warning! And you take care of that liver of yours too, mister Alfons the Mirror!

Alfons the Mirror: ......... (O_O)

A: ...pfft, ahahaha!

Leaving that shameless parting remark, I burst out of that shady room.

(That guy’s the worst of the worst, I swear to god——!!)

Pub master: Look at you, lady-killer. Did you have a fun time yet again? I’m almost envious.

Alfons the Mirror: Too much fun, in fact. Though she ran away like a cat would in the end.

??? (Harry): ...Hey, don’t go teasing her too much.

Alfons the Mirror: ...?

Sitting in the corner of the pub was a man, and that was all he said before disappearing into the darkness.

Pub master: So, are you gonna have a drink to wake yourself up, Alfons?

Alfons the Mirror: Yes, perhaps I will, with an applejack.

The day after I was played by the mirror, I went around on my own to find the missing thing.

But it seemed the favorite phrase of the people I asked boiled down to ‘maybe you’ll know if you ask Alfons?’

So in the end, I couldn’t get my hands on any information, leaving me to go back to that person, much to my displeasure.

Said person was at the castle, playing on a whim with a black cat.

Alfons the Mirror: Elbie was going to add this cat to his collection, you see... but it’s a relief indeed that you won’t be subject to a taxidermy, isn’t it?

Black cat: Meow...

Alfons the Mirror: And so, what brings you here?

Kate: .........ease.

Alfons the Mirror: I’m afraid I didn’t quite catch that. Speak up a little more, why don’t you.

Kate: ...Help me...please...

Alfons the Mirror: With what, might I ask?

(I-I swear, this man——!)

Kate: I need your insights, so please help me...!

Alfons the Mirror: Very well. I must say you looked quite darling just now.

While I threw him a resentful look, Alfons brought his fingers to his chin in a dramatic gesture.

Alfons the Mirror: For the record, everything I am about to say is mere speculation on my end.

A: But you are Snow White, Elbie is the Queen, Roger the Hunter, and I the Mirror.

A: Don’t you think there is a missing cast member here in the story of Snow White?

(Ah...)

Kate: The prince?

Alfons the Mirror: Indeed, if you find that prince who is somewhere in this world, you may be able to return from whence you came!

Kate: Thank you so much, Alfons! I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel!

Alfons the Mirror: Hardly. Then, I say we head off to search for this prince and whatnot posthaste.

Kate: Wait, you’re going to help?

Alfons the Mirror: Did I not say? I happen to very much enjoy sticking my nose into other people’s business without the need to take an ounce of responsibility.

And so, with Alfons, we started our search for the prince.

Alfons the Mirror: To all the candidates to be Snow White’s prince, over here! Yes, that’s it, line up in a single file.

A: Now, entry number 1. You can come up.

Candidate No.1: I-I would like to take Snow White’s hand in marriage, so I can get close to Queen Elbert——

Queen Elbert: ...Dismissed.

Alfons the Mirror: Thank you for your time. Ah, and over there are some souvenirs, so do take some with you.

Kate: Thank you for helping out so much.

K: ...But, what in the world is this!?

Alfons the Mirror: Thinking it was the most efficient way, I invited candidates from within the country. I am quite good at my job, aren’t I.

Kate: I won’t deny that, but you could’ve confided in me before it happened...

K: Besides, why is Queen Elbert helping as well?

Queen Elbert: ...? Because, I was worried about you?

Alfons the Mirror: Alright then, entry number 2. You may come up.

Candidate No.2: I want to marry Snow White, and every night... hehehe...

Queen Elbert: ...Take him out of the castle grounds.

Alfons the Mirror: Yes yes, right away. Guards, if you please, throw him right out of the castle.

—— Time skip ——

(...That must’ve been close to 300 people, but we couldn’t find even one remotely like a prince.)

The fatigue piling up on me, I started to feel more down.

(At this rate, I won’t be able to find the missing thing, and I probably won’t be able to return back to reality.)

Alfons the Mirror: Kate? Kate.

Kate: Yes... ngh, mn...

Alfons kissed me with a wet sound before he finally parted from my lips.

Kate: W-why a kiss so suddenly?

Alfons the Mirror: I was starting to grow tired of all these worthless men, so call this a cleansing of palate, if you will.

A: Oh, or are you perhaps in need of a more intensely pleasurable ‘cleansing’?

Kate: Ah… no, we can’t…

I remembered the heat from when he fondled me before, and for a moment I recalled the pleasure from that.

(But that… all of that…)

Alfons the Mirror: You can put all the blame on me. I simply had unfulfilled desires, and so I laid my hands upon you.

Kate: In between an audience… that’s bad manners.

Alfons the Mirror: Oh dear, did you truly take me for someone who tries to uphold manners, by any chance?

A: And besides that, with that sort of phrasing, are you meaning to say doing things like this is alright if it’s in a different place?

Kate: Wh—ah…

Alfons the Mirror: We can leave the prince hunt for tomorrow and enjoy ourselves today. How about it?

(That it would make me happy if that smile of his was not apathetic, but rather one that came from his heart…)

(…It’s not like I’m thinking that or anything.)

And then, a few days later, in order to invite real princes, a banquet was held at the castle.

(Urgh, if it’s real princes, that would mean they’re nobility, right? Of course I’d be nervous…)

Alfons the Mirror: Are you finished with preparations? Well, I’ll be, don’t you look wonderful.

A: That is one shameless slit, to be sure. You’ll have the princes on their knees in no time flat, I say.

Kate: H-hold on, don’t touch me.

Alfons the Mirror: Goodness, what’s there to be so stingy about?

At this point, such interactions with Alfons like this had long become a part of my every day.

I had initially felt so anxious, but now such feelings have dissipated more…

Kate: …You know, recently I’ve had times when I’ve thought about what I’m really searching for.

Alfons the Mirror: And that is to say?

Kate: I had thought finding that missing thing and correcting what made this world twisted would be the right thing to do.

K: But it’s just… I can’t help but wonder if that’s really the case.

The people living in this country had gone twisted and mad somewhere along the way.

After all, Queen Elbert was still searching for the most beautiful thing in this world,

and Alfons… he would sometimes have this severely lonely or icy look in his eyes.

But… there wasn’t any person here that was living an entirely proper life.

And I couldn’t help but feel more or less everyone was living at least a little mad.

While thinking that, I felt the sensation of fingertips tickling my back.

Kate: Eek!

Alfons the Mirror: So you no longer wish to return to reality, instead wanting to stay with me?

Kate: No way!

Alfons the Mirror: Hehe, that’s unfortunate. Oh, and would you look at that. It’s almost time, Snow White.

In the dance hall, princes from many different countries were gathered.

Green-eyed prince: Snow White, this dish is delectable.

Kate: Ah, thank you. I’ll partake in some.

(If it was Alfons, I imagine he wouldn’t eat this sort of luxurious dish.)

——How rude. I’ll have you know purposefully eating crudely is what makes a noble.

Blue-eyed prince: Snow White, uhm, could we talk over there later?

Kate: Yes, of course.

(If it were Alfons, he would probably drag me off somewhere without asking first.)

——After all, you don’t dislike this kind of force, do you?

(…W-wait, what…?)

(For a while now, why was I…)

Why was I trying to find Alfons in other people?

Kate: ——!

(I… to Alfons——)

to be continued…

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[strayslost]

i think i'm gonna age rimbaud up from his anime age, but only by about four years (so he'd be 31 and not 27 during the 15 light novel.) he'd still have met verlaine and worked as a spy when he was pretty young (around 20 i think??), but he still would have been an adult at the time, albeit a very young one/just out of his teens.

assuming verlaine is around the same age (at the very least they're the same height in the 15 manga flashbacks, so it seems likely), that'd make verlaine around 31-32 in stormbringer, and 38-39 in the main canon of bsd?? which feels a liiiiitle older than he comes across as to me, but not too egregiously. of course, technically verlaine might be more like sigma and not have an actual traditional "age" so to speak... i guess i could mess around with that a bit too if i wanted. like maybe he was created as an adult, and he physically ages a bit slower than other humans do??? or not. lol idk where i'm going with this.

the tl;dr is that i'm imagining that rimbaud and verlaine met when rimbaud was around 20, and they worked together for four years, so he was betrayed by him when he was 24. as for how i'll handwave the guidebook age for rimbaud being 27 - i'm just gonna imagine that that's how old he either thinks he is, or how more likely how old he presents himself as to the port mafia/the world as a whole. he DID have amnesia after all, and his true identity wasn't known, so there wasn't any way for them to be sure of his own age, either!

[strikersin]

Dreams. Dreams. DREAMS!

The one where I'm watching a movie at Luther's house and she is dressed in almost Russian attire - Fancy, cold, and so beautiful. And we're in bed and I'm explaining my excitement over the Pathologic movie and later we have to deal with zombies but whatever.

And I'm playing with children's toys there. Everyone is so young.

Real life when we were read The Last Unicorn or something, something, at the cafeteria table. The book where the protagonist is taught how to keep her thoughts locked up tight like a box.

Ugh.

[a-book-of-creatures]

I think I stumbled upon some kind of ichthyological forbidden knowledge. Opened up a book of names that were never meant to be read.

You've probably heard of "can-opener smoothdream", right? It's practically a meme by now.

But the thing is, it's a deep-sea fish. And deep-sea fish have historically not had English names because nobody drops them into the conversation over a hot cuppa. Sure, there's generic stuff like hatchetfish and barreleye, but when you want to refer to the actual fish you're probably saying such euphonious phrases as Diretmus argenteus, Sternoptyx diaphana, or maybe even Opisthoproctus soleatus.

So whence "can-opener smoothdream"? Certainly no non-ichthyologist has ever used that name. It's not even a direct translation of the scientific name Chaenophryne longiceps - that would be "long-headed gape-toad". Which to me is even cooler than "can-opener smoothdream".

But I digress. The "dream" bit comes from the anglerfish family Oneirodidae, from oneiros, "dream", because those marvelous fishes look like they came out of a dream (Pietsch, 2009).

Note that Pietsch (2009), more or less the anglerfish bible, uses English names at the genus level only. So Chaenophryne is the smoothhead dreamers genus but no mention is made of "can-opener smoothdreams". So no luck there.

Wikipedia, root cause of a lot of misinformation, has this to say.

"Longhead dreamer" is a far more accurate name. And in fact, despite Wikipedia prioritizing "can-opener smoothdream" (because it's funny?), the links listed use "longhead dreamer" and "smoothhead dreamer" as the name and "can-opener smoothdream" as an alternative.

So. Again. Where did "can-opener smoothdream" come from?

The answer, as it turns out, lies with McAllister (1990).

In the book A List of the Fishes of Canada, ichthyologist D. E. McAllister sought out to list every single fish known to Canadian waters, providing both an English and a French name.

And when there wasn't an English name, like for most deep-sea fishes, he arbitrarily gave them a name. And his names "differ in many instances from the widely accepted names" (Holm, 1998)

This had varying results. This is his name for one of the netdevil anglerfishes.

The humpback anglerfish or blackdevil anglerfish becomes a werewolf (????).

This one is just confusing.

The white-spotted lanternfish or Rafinesque's lanternfish instead becomes...

And most embarrassingly, the Mediterranean spiderfish gets saddled with something that "violates the tenet of good taste" (Holm, 1998).

This then is the original source of "can-opener smoothdream". It was invented by an ichthyologist in 1990, and has seen little to no use outside of how bizarre the name is.

Maybe McAllister's goofier names will catch on. Who knows? They certainly aren't very popular in the scientific community though.

References

Holm, E. (1998) Encyclopedia of Canadian Fishes (review). The Canadian Field-Naturalist, 112, p. 174-175.

McAllister, D. E. (1990) A List of the Fishes of Canada. National Museum of Natural Sciences, Ottawa.

Pietsch, T. W. (2009) Oceanic Anglerfishes: Extraordinary Diversity in the Deep Sea. University of California Press, Berkeley.