#maybe this should happen more often
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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hello I would like the kevallison smut ?? Please
The promised kevallison headcanons (aka how the two of them figure out what the other person is into + how they might go about doing it)
When they start hooking up it’s all pretty standard stuff. Allison gets him off after a game. Kevin eats her out if there’s ten minutes free in between classes and an empty dorm room. They’re a booty call before, during or after a night out, or a no-strings-attached way to get some frustration off their chest. Their friends-with-benefits situation is more often than not just a quick fuck when they’re bored. But it's kind of just… that? It's just fucking. It's a handful of different positions, in a handful of different places, but nothing more than fucking, finishing, and leaving. They don’t feel a need to bring it any further though, in some ways hesitant that the other will catch feelings if it gets too intimate. But from the get-go their agreement is clear - if either starts to get attached, or jealous, or even thinks that it might be worth pursuing, they stop. It doesn’t happen, of course, but in the beginning they really try to err on the side of caution until they know that for certain.
There’s one of two ways that their casual hook ups becomes more... interesting every now and again: one) accidentally. two) intentionally.
If it is accidental, I think they stumble upon the other’s kinks by the Grace of God. It's a quick fuck that turns into something more because one of them picks up on how the other's demeanor changes and they realise oh. oh. That did something for them. The moment when it happens is so intoxicating and sexually charged; So intense at the realisation of how turned on the other person is, that they’re just waiting for someone in the dorm room over, or outside the bathroom at a party, or in the almost-empty parking lot to ask did anyone hear Allison and Kevin fucking last night? For either of them, single and used to quick fucks with strangers that don't mean anything nor have the longevity for experimenting with, getting to dip into their fantasies is unparalleled pleasure.
If it’s accidental, it’s a pleasant surprise for them both, and Kevin and Allison have that in common - they are both incredibly, heavily turned on by their fuck-buddies feeling satisfied. It happens, where sometimes Kevin just wants to be blown without returning the gesture, or where Allison wants to come without having to put in the effort it takes to give back. More often than not, though, whether it be with each other or with other people, they're most satisfied when the other person is satisfied, too. So when the topic of kinks and turn ons is broached, or accidentally revealed, it doesn't matter that it's Kevin, or that it's Allison. When they've been fucking for long enough that they find themselves discovering these things, they're comfortable enough with each other to not feel embarrassed about what happens when they have sex. If it makes her wet, and it keeps him hard, then it doesn't matter. They don't talk about their sex lives outside of when or where it happens - a kink or two isn't going to change that.
For Kevin, sweet submissive baby boy who just lives to be praised - oh, when Allison finds out, it opens this door for changing their dynamics that she hadn't even realised existed. Kevin gets so turned on that he practically melts, and Allison eats it up like it's the hottest thing she's ever laid eyes on.
They've found themselves standing up against a wall in a bathroom at a party somewhere, too many suggestive looks across the room leading to a desperately desired handjob or two, and Kevin is fumbling with the buckle of his belt. He struggles with it for a second, before pulling the black leather out from it's square frame and Allison offhandedly says good job with a laugh as she trails kisses up his neck and her fingers down his stomach. She feels his reaction to her words before she notices how his eyes glaze over with the thoughts in his head; how he stills at her words, how he's yearning through his sigh when she follows with a knowing whisper of oh, you want me to tell you how good you're being?
Him in her hand, the long acrylic nails of her free hand dragging lines down his neck, Allison feels how needy he is and softly purrs in his ear to tell her how much he wants it. It's not lost on him how she plays with him like putty between her tender fingers, but still he looks into her eyes with his eyebrows knitted into each other, too close to argue; The please that escapes his lips trapped in between a gasp and a moan is rebutted with her sultry say it again. I want to hear that pretty voice beg. It takes the stalling of the rhythm in her working hand before he finds the ability to whimper out his desperate please, please, please. She's using her free hand to hold his face still, their eyes locked together, while he can barely keep himself in one piece. Her thumb is soft over his lips, brushing over little gasps and short breaths, holding him while she whispers a question and he falls apart in her hands.
If Kevin loves to be topped by strong women, Allison loves to hear a man moan. And she’s never heard him like this before, his lips drawn apart just inches from hers, one hand steadying himself against the wall and the other tugging and pawing at the skin of the small of her back. She doesn't let him look away as she guides him to climax with her soft words of gentle praise. How pretty he looks when he's trying his hardest to be quiet, how well he's doing at keeping himself composed.
Allsion doesn't care that she's accidentally unlocked this submissive side of Kevin; firstly, he's hot as hell when he's this desperate, and it's not as if she's going to be leaving that bathroom and calling him a good boy on the court, because that's not how this works. She's fucked him angry and she's fucked him needy - the passion of fulfilled fantasy only working on a different level to anything else.
(When he's caught his breath and started to clean himself up, she washes her hands and admires her work; his rosy cheeks burning up as she watches him in the mirror. She pushes herself up onto the vanity, and when he can finally bare to look at her again, she says I'm proud of you with a playful smile. Kevin covers his face to laugh in semi-embarrassment, his head shaking as he finds himself in between her legs. They don't talk about it too much before he returns the favour.)
Then there's, Allison, sweet Allison, who's interests work in harmony like a perfect composed song. We knows she loves to hear the men she sleeps with, but there's two things that really get her going that more often than not go hand in hand - rough sex, and loud sex. Living in dorms, it's hard to indulge, especially the second, but usually she'll just pull him close, with his lips to her ear or hers to his. Allison gets off on hearing the person she's fucking, and Kevin is not an exception to that.
They've somehow had a stroke of luck - an empty house in Columbia and some time to kill. Kevin is on the edge of the bed, and Allison is facing Kevin while sitting on his lap, her knees resting on either side of him, in a skirt that is already so short that it's barely even there. They're making out, and Kevin isn't really thinking, but he slaps her ass - something he'd done once or twice before, but never that hard, never that loud. Allison sits back, hands on his shoulders with her mouth open wide. She doesn't get the chance to finish her questioning what are you doing? Before his mischievous smile curls around, what, this? as he laughs and does it again. When she stands up off of him in a half-protest, shaking her finger at how close he was getting to really getting her going, he follows her up. He stands in front of her with feigned apologies for his boldness. She leans into his kiss, with arms wrapped tight around her waist, but instead of pouting his lips, he picks her up and throws her back onto the bed while she scream-laughs.
Body over body, on top of her then, a hand finds it's way in between strands of shiny blonde. A hand that she takes into hers, guiding his fist to grasp a handful of her hair. When he doesn't hold it hard enough she tugs it gently, keeping his fist closed with her hand around it. Looking down at her, he purses his lips with an oh that pauses his other hand while it pushes up her skirt to touch her over her panties. Reading him while waiting for the laugh that never comes is agonisingly long, as she braces herself for the mortifying conversation that he was not going to be entertaining it. Instead he waits for her hand to trail away before pulling her head, hard, back into the bed. And when she shuts her eyes and parts her lips in pleasure, he is quick to bring his hand up to her chin, tilting her head back. The two smallest of his fingers fingers tuck themselves neatly behind her ear, the other two tight between her jawline and her cheekbone. The ball of his thumb is resting on her chin. She doesn't stop him when his thumb trails down from her cupid's bow and into her mouth. She doesn't stop him when he takes it out hold it around her throat, either. Kevin is careful to scatter wet bruises down her chest where they won't be seen. When he's standing back to take off his pants and she’s lifting her top over her head, he asks, you want it hard? and she responds do you even fucking have to ask?
Her skirt is up over her hips and her thong down her thighs. He’s on his knees with her legs over his thighs, maybe he’s pinning her hands down above her head with one big hand over her little wrists. Headboard banging, unrestrained volume, handprints on ass cheeks and scratches across spines. Allison gets sex-drunk when he manhandles her. It’s sloppy, it’s messy, it’s loud, it’s so hot that it’s on fire. It’s eye-rolling, being in a daze afterwards type of fucking. It’s mascara running down cheeks, how the fuck am I supposed to look anyone in the eye after having that done to me type of fucking. It’s needing to have a shower immediately afterwards type of sweaty, messy fucking.
(It’s probably one of the only times they almost/kind of get caught. Not because of the noise, or the sex itself but because of the aftermath. Andrew and Neil clock INSTANTLY the missing and changed details when they regroup - how Kevin’s hair is freshly washed, how Allison has taken her heavy makeup off leaving only a fresh coat of mascara and some lipgloss remaining. How they can barely look at each other in case it reminds them of what has just happened. Their puffy lips, their general daze. Yeah, they fly a little too close to the sun that time - not enough time afterwards to recuperate from an absolutely dirty, filthy, fucking.)
If it's an intentional thing, a discussion about what they're into, and they know before getting into it/it's a conscious choice/it's intentional/some sort of discussion/WHATEVER? There's a few ways I could potentially see it possibly coming up.
A game of Never Have I Ever or some other drinking game with the group and the discussions of kinks come up; Kevin drinks when somebody mentions a praise kink, or being dominated. Allison drinks when somebody mentions liking it rough. Their looks to each other are quick but knowing, Kevin's raised eyebrows when Allison drinks to say she doesn't mind being degraded, the flick of her eyes when he drinks to say he doesn't mind begging for it.
They don't hang around after hooking up, usually. Clean up, get dressed, and leave. That's the routine. But they're talking afterwards for a little while, and the subject of fantasies comes up, and while shes fixing her makeup and tying up her hair she asks him what's the one thing he'd go crazy for. he considers it for a little bit but then gets embarrassed because it's a way harder thing to talk about when you're not actively turned on or drunk. They offer each other tiny pieces as they joke about it, starting tame before they eventually just say it out straight. (she calls him princess when she's leaving and he calls her a slut before she shuts the door.)
They ask each other outright. Kinda similar to accidentally figuring it out but they ask each other for it instead of the other person just doing something and stumbling upon it. Maybe Kevin asks her to tell him how good he feels and she asks why, are you into that? and they like. talk through it . Do you like it when I ask you this? Can I call you this? Do you like it when I tell you you're doing such a good job? Talking through sex can be so hot and even hearing the questions out loud sets the imagination off on a fucking marathon. Maybe Allison asks can you choke me? and he asks her how she likes it before agreeing. Do you like it when I hold you like this? Do you want me to spit in your mouth? Do you want to shut the fuck up and listen to what you do to me? It's a much more thorough discussion than them simply going oh, i think the other person has [blank] kink, so i'm just gonna go ahead and do that. It's a request, instead. Both of them knowing what they want and knowing how to ask for it? Yeaaaahhhh
#I can’t stress it enough I do not ever think they date#I don’t think they even consider it#they’re so happy with just fucking if there’s no one else around#they don’t get jealous#yeah maybe at some point it happens a little more often than it should#but there’s an end point to it#always has been always will be#also they're both switches#which i know we want kevin to be a bottom soooooo. bad#but look at him#(you can't)#LOOK AT HIM#he fucks#thats just the truth#kevin day#allison reynolds#aftg#all for the game#kevallison#they laugh alot when they hook up#if u cant tell#how do u describe this kind of writing? it’s not a fic#it’s more than a hc I guess but writing like this is not the same as writing like it’s a fic#it’s pure description#so I’d happily write some actual descriptive smut but this is what I’ve got rn instead#mine#ask
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more phoenix wright situations
#ace attorney tag#maybe i should tag this narumitsu or something. but i dont really care.#gearing up to rereading/illustrating bits of my fic i suppose...i think nick really is too dense to realise he's in love with edgeworth#without some scheming fop trying to intrude. i love villains like kristoph..villains can be fun..witnessing their pathetic folly..#or more like edgeworth would never have mentioned his feelings ever in his life if he wasn't sure phoenix reciprocates.#i want to see it this way because Falling in love during childhood with the person you're going to end up with. is not relatable#there have to be Situations that make you Realise.#as with orufrey i adore the idea of people not working out their romance with that person until their 30s+#but... i mean. even with orufrey i often think how alaira could be qifrey's ex. and oru having been pursued by noble fops through his work#there is that delicate sliver of time before orufrey start living together that such believable situations could have happened.#Then the relief of politely and amicably extricating themselves from those untenable situations#the idea of falling in love age 7 and saving your first kiss for age 35 or something is all very well but more relatable is#people realising how they really feel whilst trying something that ends up feeling wrong.#The comfort and joy of living with your dearest one as if it's platonic - much preferable to trying anything more with anyone else.#But i doubt i will ever portray that or mention it further. it is indeed very delicate to me.#and i really am an OTP FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kind of person who can barely bear to consider this anyway...NOT a polyshipper i'm afraid !#so i wouldn't mind either if they do have their first kiss in their lives age 35 with each other either. I would not mind that at all.#i love bi/gay couples apparently... bi father figures & their grumpy gay men waiting for them to work it all out...#not used to using colour in comic-style drawings..or at all..so this is messy and awkward looking..but colour is refreshing#i imagine i will go back to witch hat art soon btw. my destiny in life.#i still remember writing my nrmt fic expecting to write their first kiss & then partway through twas like Umm No. They have kissed prior.#does that really line up with this comic though... i think i had their early dinner dates/first kiss BEFORE disbarment.#so i guess this comic doesn't line up with my ficverse.... No..... U___U Oh well. sorry kris! <3
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uuh can i get the rusame apology special to go? yes the one with no "sorry" pronounced, that's right. and fries.
#don't let ame in the last panel fool you he's secretly quite happy.#sigh. sasha is just russified amechan. for seriousies. i saw it somewhere on tumblr when i was in middle school and i never let go of it...#slop#aph russia#aph america#rusame#russia takes minute damage and thinks you know what would make me feel better. america sadcute. and then he gets it and it's like#sniffles this is too good. now i get to unsad him myself. meanwhile ame is discovering the wondershorrors of how a brain works.#there's a more something happening here than ame wearing rus clothes and rusame banter but it's too like.#i can't explain it. but it's more to me. this guys is a little. yk#can't remember drawing rus neck bandages before. maybe i should. i don't think he wears them often though.#i should be shot#oh and ive seen sasha happening in a fic before. apart from My idiot fic. it rocked. can't find it anymore🤦♂️#myart
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day 7 of torikasa week is future! what will they do after graduation?
#torikasa#enstars#ensemble stars#tori himemiya#tsukasa suou#art tag#torikasa week 2024#i fear im tagging it slightly differently every day#the first page is actually from may hsldkjfhlsjfds#and you can kinda tell because that was the height of my ''they should be in different continents.'' era#promessa fixed me later#but i still entertain this thought often....#after this tsukasa says something dismissive and hurtful and tori gets angry because he was actually excited to share this!#why can't you be happy for me!#but tsukasa can't be happy. because it means he can no longer be by tori's side. then realization. then ooook a lot to unpack there#then maybe he offers to help tori with english#he doesn't want to cut off his wings after all!!!!!!!!!1#then maybe and only maybe he ends up going along with tori despite everything#since this is more like a self-imposed distance in the end#tho if we're being real since this is enstars tori would end up going back to japan like twice a month izumi-style#this writes itself. im not drawing it rn but it does#i think both separation and going abroad together is good#terrible roommates at college sounds so fun............. that should definitely happen in canon my favorite business majors#comic#nearly forgot that one
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ok hi tumblr. thought. while i understand that technically yes people have all the freedom to assign clover a gender + pronouns based on personal headcanons… i dont really get WHY people do it
dont get me wrong im all for a little fun and for messing around with pronouns, but… isnt it more fun to let them keep the they/them?? whats the point of taking that away?
iiii dunno. i just think its strange lol
#undertale yellow#every time i see a he/him clover i take damage#its just…. theres nothing WRONG with it i guess but youre taking away their WHIMSY and FUN yknow???#theres no way in the world giving this kid he/him is more interesting than keeping the they. or maybe i just dont get it lol#its the same thing that happened to frisk when undertale first came out when ppl used to use she/her for them all the time#(and chara as well)#but at least nowadays i see less of it…. why is clover different lol#guys be honest. is it because its ‘easier’?#okay sorry hfkdjf ik the points im making dont make exact sense. i have a billion things i wanna say about this but no idea how to phrase em#also i should mention#i criticized he/him specifically because i see it more often#which kinda adds on to my point…. methinks some of you only use he/him because you think clover looks like a boy…. so its ‘easier’#rarhg. whaaatever goobye
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Watching critical role but starting at campaign one so everytime i get a cr post it's like dodging a fucking bullet
#yes i know I'm 8 years late shut up#i got introduced to it by the vox machina show#and I've wanted to get into DnD for a WHILE#and now because i have work i have 9 hours every day to watch in the background#and I'm loving it so much#I'm so excited for every episode#AND excited for campaigns 2 and 3#but yeah#i would live post about it but#1- it's at work so i cant very well just stop everytime smtg cool happens#2- I'm already halfway through the campaign#3- i barely use this place anyways#though i should more often#anyways#critical role#maybe?#if you made it this far#ily
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Do you guys remember that Reddit screenshot that was like:
Incel-adjacent guy: the simple fact is that no hot woman wants to get with an average looking nerdy man. That's why guys like me are fucked.
Normal commenter: why don't you try dating average looking women with nerd hobbies then?
Incel guy; what would be the point of that
.......... Sometimes the male loneliness discourse feels a lot like that.
#loneliness as a societal issue should be taken much more seriously and often people are too mean about it#and its wrong to make this a solely individual problem/personal failure when clearly this is now baked into the structure of our world#but also like. some of the guys online man. they are extremely their own worst enemy on this.#like dude this is happening because you live in a society but your personal biases and unreasonable expectations are also an extremely#obvious problem here.#maybe you should do some internal work about that. it would probably help a lot.
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Thinking abt Kae’s Fatui verse,,,,
#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//Him having a sort of fatal attraction vibe goin with Traveler like Came||ya’s whole thing almost hdbfb#//The whole ‘you’re interesting; I really like you; I can’t WAIT to see what makes you tick’#//Except he might actually be more of a danger to them; considering his endgame for those he ‘loves’#v; l’innamorato (fatui!kaeya)#//The love idea of him v attached to Signora; deffo got along with the kiddos of the HotH better fjhdh#//Prolly loved presenting her W|ll Sm|th style; even if the attention it drew to him too did make his skin crawl more often than not#//Love the idea of him stalking Traveler thru their journeyw lil heart eyes; interfering at key moments to hinder or help them progress#//Depends on how he’s feeling at the moment jcbcb#//In this verse would deffo butt heads with Taru in Fontaine specifically—he wants Traveler’s attention too jfbfb#//Prolly met them in Mond as part of Signora’s lil entourage—IMMEDIATELY got intrigued at first glance#//Background wise; I like to think he was a Fatuus meant to infiltrate the knights like many of Eroch’s ppl#//And in the progress of going through the knight thing got acquainted w Luc & began to have doubts abt the Fatui cause#//After visiting his home; hearing abt and meeting his father; then the day of the Heckening happens & they fight#//Bc Kae already planned to come clean & renounce the Fatui & Khaenri’ah; but the mess Crepus’s death made of him#//Tried far too hastily; far too bluntly to tell Luc the truth of his origins; swearing he knew nothing abt the Delusion#//Only to get claymore’d; which absolutely helped cemented him into the Fatui’s ranks more#//A part of him knows it wasn’t the time to say it; that he is at fault for trying to take advantage of Luc’s vulnerable state to tell him#//Only for the lad to have been far too volatile & so it turned out badly; but he still blames Luc for the break of their bond#//Anywho; I like to think as of Inazuma; he does have a certain grudge against traveler bc of Signora#//Before; encounters were more of puppy love bordering on dangerous obsession—after that; the dangerous bit became Personal#//Ohhh I’m writing a yandere here; okay<-should have realized that from the FIRST slew of Fatuiverse hcs lmao#//He genuinely does love Traveler; would like to see them breaking down in despair in his arms#//The two of them together would make a most beautiful ice sculpture indeed#//Even with his grudge; Traveler does stand a chance at swaying him to actually be helpful#//Sumeru quest wise; Co||ei is the magic word—i like to think he came along with there bc he wanted to see abt the Eleazar#//And maybe find clues to her family or even her herself; Traveler or Paimon dropping the name would make him cooperate SO fast#//Klee in Mond is basically his Teucer jffb. She is as good as fam in his eyes—I like to think he keeps up his habit of collecting pyro ppl#//Bc he never got over his broken bond with SOMEONE. Even if this verse has him more bitter abt it#//But ye jdbdbd. Is it rlly a Allie posting if it not short lol blurb and then heckin TAG SPAM lololol
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Crime and Punishment in Mo Dao Zu Shi
So I've finally finished the essay I've been threatening to write for more than a year. A hearty thank you to @paradife-loft for early editing eyes and a coherence check, and @neuxue for further editing as well as last minute bonus translation.
First of all, a big ol’ disclaimer: I am working from a translated text where I do not have access to the original language. That generates a gap where potentially a great deal can be lost or altered in translation; hence, I’m going to avoid as much as possible attempting to do a close reading or lean too hard on language or word choice in my assessment of the novel, speaking in broader strokes.
Additionally, I am coming at this from a perspective where I am predisposed to feel sympathy for villains/antagonists in a story, and I recognize that potentially creates a bias in my assessment. That being said, I think it’s a fair reading at the very least, if not an authoritative one. This essay will include spoilers for the entirety of the Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation (MDZS) novel, as well as The Untamed (CQL), and minor spoilers in footnotes and a brief additional section for MXTX's other novels.
I will be touching on CQL in an appendix at the end, though to a lesser degree because analyzing visual media is less of my strong point. Nonetheless I think it is relevant that, despite the alteration of story details to arguably make the morality of the story more black/white, certain thematic resonances remain.
All that being said, my point here is: MXTX (Mo Xiang Tong Xiu) as an author, and MDZS in particular, is at best skeptical of punitive justice; to put it more bluntly, the concept of characters “getting what they deserve” is, if not directly repudiated, then certainly not the point. To put it even more bluntly, MDZS doesn’t want to punish its villains, it just kills them, which (importantly) isn’t the same thing.
[READ THE REST, IT'S LONG AND HEAVILY FOOTNOTED]
#mdzs#the untamed#i'm actually moderately proud of this one! that doesn't happen often#making me go 'hmm maybe i should go back to more essay writing'#that's the devil talking#sometimes i write things#lise does meta#the sad queer cultivators show
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meddyyyyyyy
#tennis talk#oh what a joy to see him play like that#maybe saying something after the first match helped#he also said he went in with a 'don't care let's see what happens' attitude and tried to keep it up throughout the match#well if he plays like that when he doesn't care he should try this more often#'happy with the level' he said and he's right#apparently he made a technical adjustment (with the racquet?)#but also the serve got more and more confident as the match went on
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I know it doesn't happen in her source, but the idea of someone complimenting or praising Sherry so much that her cheeks redden and she starts twirling her hair a bit is adorable.
#it doesn't happen often but I do think it'd be cute ...#I think Don Quixote is the one that makes her react like this the most actually--since she'd be heaping on the praise due to Sherry--#--being a Color Fixer#but also Heathcliff can get her to react this way ... and maybe Hubert#Ishmael too on occasion#I think more characters should fluster Sherry--it could fix her /lh#si: to a great mind‚ nothing is little 🤎#LCB Sherlock#limbus oc#scattered pages
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....
So. How do you tell someone who says they think they're exhausting you that they are, in fact, exhausting you without being mean-
#like the THOUGHT of having to have a conversation is exhausting me and i dont even know why#like things are better rn than they have beem for a while. they are. i should have energy#yet im too tired for any of this#i feel like maybe it's because after everything i now need a full on break from any conflict or drama or whatever you call it#or because maybe they always have something like this happening. way too often. there's more drama than fun#not that im involved in their drama. i just have to listen to theirs and it exhausts me to have to take in so much negativity (i think)#im not sure.
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girl!jack being casually sexually harassed by dean in between threats of violence and this never being brought up beyond a vague sad line from sam about how he should stop treating her like that, would have fit right in with the vibes of late seasons supernatural. terrible things keep happening, and the only energy they can summon up about it is apathy that perpetuates the suffering.
#like what would happen here is that he’d do it whenever she used her powers or showed any sort of competence#kneecap her when she feels capable because *he* feels threatened by that. by her.#and he can feel less threatened if he thinks of her as someone he can fuck#so jack does something sick with her powers and then dean says something like ‘you know you shouldn’t wear a skirt that short. you’re#distracting me and sam.’#crucial that he includes sam there btw. as a way to make jack feel like she’s causing problems for *everyone* not just dean. and because if#sam’s there he’d have to acknowledge how often this goes on and the breadth of it to speak up. and he wont. so instead he’ll just look sad#and tell jack later that dean didnt mean it. but maybe jack should cover up more anyway. for her own good.#spn#jack kline#dean winchester#girl!jack au
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really sucks when you can't enjoy things you like bc doing them makes you feel guilty and like you're a piece of shit
#personal#going through it again#it happens every so often like once every few weeks#maybe months if i'm being optimistic#just feeling. like i know i'm avoiding the stuff i like bc i feel like i should be doing other things#like fucking getting my documents that i still need to go find a job#so i can have money to help at home#instead of just sitting here all day on my laptop#but i can't do that bc im stressed about it#i know most of my family doesn't mind i help around the house still when i'm actually feeling decent but still#can't help but be stressed#also the anxiety but that's like#a constant in my life. that's just how it is#so i just move around it#at least i can still enjoy reading#i enjoy reading so so much#and i'm really looking forward to having my friends over for my bday next saturday (not this one)#should help me deal with all this stuff#really need more contact with people#bc i haven't seen them in like a month at least#been staying up until like 4am lately bc i'm just#reading lol#been really into momlet content with a side of monster clover :3
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Gently sitting down white trans people and explaining to them that no matter their gender most white trans people can and do use the "white woman's tears" tactic
#its so like. insidious. and hard to call out.#bc if you call out someone out they just pile more on you know?#and if they arent a woman theyll be like 'are you saying by using white tears im like a white WOMAN'#and if they are a woman theyll be like 'are you insinuating that because im a WOMAN i am faking crying to get attention? ur a transmisogyni#st' and its like. no. no i just think you should maybe examine why you always say shit like 'i want her to step on me yass queen slay' when#you see a hot black person.#its also bizarre when trans fems do it bc that same example i used happens to them too so often!! and its a thing that trans fems discuss!#the masculinization of trans fems thru framing their love as aggressive. like 'step on me' kinda bs#but yeah regardless of gender i find that if a white trans person CAN use white tears in a queer space then they will#oh boohoo are the big mean poc bullying you by asking you to listen to us and not speak over us and act like we arent here?#and to not fetishize us and dually prop us up as 'the founders of the community' while spitting on us?
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