#maybe this is my way of coping
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I dont think i should find this as funny as i do but the scene where Ekko stops Jinx from commiting suicide made me laugh when i rewatched it cuz Ekko went "wait let me tell you something!! LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING!!" and then Jinx looks him dead in the eye and procedes to pull the pin on the grenade
#also when he was like “i dont wanna be blown up”#and then she just jumps#like she wanted GONE#maybe this is my way of coping#but Jinx was my fave character 😔#arcane#jinx#ekko#timebomb#my man was STRESSED
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“Everyone moves on…
… And I get left behind”
#ganyu#yae miko#neuvillette#sigewinne#faruzan#wanderer#scaramouche#kunikuzushi#se quedó sin nombre el nene#kaveh#genshin#genshin impact#genshin impact fanart#art#happy birthday to meeee#28…… serious……#this are my personal feelings and ways to cope with the loneliness of being alive so don’t take everything too seriously#left it pretty vague bc it can mean a lot of things. Maybe it’s kaveh being frustrated#maybe he’s forgetting his parents faces#nothing seems right#maybe he’s a little angry at his mom for leaving#it can mean nothing and everything at the same time#anyways <3 interpret how u like
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What the gay do to a person
#arcane#arcane season 2#viktor#jayvik#machine herald#sketch#my art#MAYBE I UNDERSTOOD HOW TO DRAW VIKTOR AND I LIKE IT#PLEASE DELETE MY PREVIOUS ATTEMPS FROM MY MEMORIES#also this is my way to cope#yes#exactly so simple
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i can't stop thinking about this scene.
it was so light-hearted. sheng wang was all-smiley after finishing (perhaps multiple rounds) of revising and studying. but the lively atmosphere simmers down into this thick and stifling tension once jiang tian opens his closet.
honestly, if i were sheng wang, i would have so many questions too. why is he packing? is he going somewhere? but where? so, whatever sheng wang is thinking or feeling at the moment is valid (to me, at least, it is.)
i think it has so much to do with sheng wang's expression here (liu dong qin, the actor you are) that breaks my heart into tiny, million pieces.
it's in the way his eyes follows every movement of jiang tian, but particularly directed at the opened luggage, that has me thinking of sheng wang's fear of separation. the trauma he experienced when he was just a little boy.
i can't imagine how he felt when he saw his beloved mother collapsing to the ground—at the age so little to grasp the situation—to comprehend the meaning of sadness and grief and death.
he was broken. he was devastated. but those feelings as a child were just feelings. but the adult sheng wang now understood that those feelings come with bitter memories and realisations that death is inevitable, and death is permanent. his mother won't come back to him no matter how frequently she visits him in his dreams (and wake).
his heavy breathing. his fixated stare. that feeling of abandonment is washing over him again. they're coming in slow, steady and destructive.
so when jiang tian approaches him with the said book that has more extensive questions, he still can't look away. not until jiang tian realises that sheng wang's attention is now elsewhere.
and he finally asks,
i personally adore how benjamin acted this scene out. jiang tian immediately glances over at the luggage, somehow already knowing the context/direction of this conversation. (it's in the subtlety of benjamin's acting here that has me going nuts.)
when sheng wang asks this question, it reminds me of this scene in episode 1,
jiang tian was looming in front of sheng wang's house, wondering if he should stay or leave. possibly his only destination would be uncle ding's house. maybe he has nowhere to go, to be honest.
sheng wang immediately called him, voicing out his thoughts. and the context is similar—are you leaving?
although jiang tian answers sheng wang's question, not leaving him hanging the way he did in episode 1, it's still not enough. the reason being, as of right now, we're knowledgable of sheng wang's past. but what about jiang tian? we know nothing about him. we just know this boy is closed off and distant and cold and grumpy. but why?
these questions are the answers. but sheng wang doesn't know. not yet.
they could have just dropped the conversation here. but this is one of (the many) things i notice about sheng wang: he's always curious. always seeking answers. even in his studies, he would ask crab (i love you, friend) for the solution. and we saw some instances where jiang tian would share the method he used, etc, only to help him. and i think it's being presented at a different light here. sheng wang is waiting. he's waiting for jiang tian to give him answers.
as jiang tian says it's a habit, it might not be the answer sheng wang wanted, but it was needed, at least, only for the night.
it's so overwhelming to me how jiang tian has always been providing sheng wang with safety, happiness, anger, irritation, fun, answers and questions. how susceptible sheng wang is with everything jiang tian is. they are like mirrors reflecting one another. because for me, jiang tian is like a closed book, but i could understand him once i start reading. but sheng wang, he's more layered. he's open but also secretive. he expresses emotions, but not everyone reciprocates and understands him. not until jiang tian.
and i'm no longer sane in the head because of this.
#maybe you can tell... i'm not doing ok#and my way of coping with this tianwang brain rot is to think about them more#i should touch grass#i love them so much to the point of hating them#beecause they're such nuanced characters and why do they remind me of my 15 to 17-year-old self?#we might experience different things but the feeling is the same#the sense of not belonging anywhere#and everything in between#'the teenage angst' as some might call it#jiang tian and sheng wang are the embodiment of that#the on1y one#the on1y one series#the on1y one the series#jiang tian#sheng wang#tianwang#jiang tian x sheng wang#the brain rot is real and strong#na discusses
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Mystra has dictated the terms of my potential for long enough. The Crown would grant me control of my own destiny at last.
#bg3edit#galeedit#baldursgateedit#gamingedit#bg3#baldur's gate 3#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#edits#giffing this man dumping my tav in the very last few second of my second pt just to cope#the funny thing is that varian is 100% on board with the fuck you mystra train#cause it's the exact same way he felt about lolth all his life#but i guess if you tell gale even ONCE that maybe the crown shouldn't get back to mystra#and then try to dissuade him from the whole goodhood powertrip last second this is the result#I WAS SO READY FOR THE MARRIAGE PROPOSAL AND I GOT A BREAK UP INSTEAD#but i'm not even mad about it. you do you baby boy.#get drunk on power and wreak havoc on earth. might as well#ascended!astarion has the funniest reaction to this scene tho#i wanted to add it but he's wearing the ugliest helm on the planet so i didn't
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Notice my pain
And mend me right now
To quiet my fears
I’ll drown in you
#alien stage#alnst#에이스테#alien stage fanart#ivan alien stage#i will never get over this#ivan sketch to try and cope with the pain 💔💔#my beloved toxic doomed yaoi#cheer up...?#what if ivan tucked till's hair behind his ear before he dropped and died#guys maybe the cure was the friends we found along the way
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if you’ve been in the shifting community for a while, you’ve probably noticed the common thread of positivity and keeping a positive/optimistic mindset. while that 100% works for some people, sometimes you’re not positive. sometimes you’re just angry. and why not use that to shift?
so, introducing……
⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆ 𝕋ℍ𝔼 ℝ𝔸𝔾𝔼 𝕄𝔼𝕋ℍ𝕆𝔻 ⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺
get comfortable.
take some deep breaths, count, or anything that gets you into that calm, relaxed meditative state before shifting.
visualize yourself standing in the void.
you have claws on your fingers and are so strong. you are an unstoppable force.
remember where you want to go. remember the people, experiences, and feelings connected to that reality.
know that it’s yours already, you just have to get there.
begin to move forward.
there is resistance, ropes and chains of energy tugging at you like spider webs, but your claws are sharp and your arms are strong.
scream and weep and howl. your fury gives you strength.
visualize tethers connected to you to something far behind you. these are your ties to your OR. sever them. you don’t need them anymore. you are free.
move forward. cut and destroy anything trying to stop your progress. you are unshakable. your will is indomitable. keep moving.
rip into the veil with your claws. slice it to ribbons. make clear the path.
keep moving forward. do not stop.
scream as much as you want. here, your anger is a blessing and your determination is unshakable.
your sorrow and grief can be your fuel just as your rage is.
keep going until you either fall asleep or feel yourself in your DR.
rip and tear until it’s done.
#shifting#reality shifting#shiftblr#shifting community#desired reality#shifting realities#shifting methods#reality shifting community#reality shifting methods#my methods#my posts#was I driven to fury by certain current events?#maybe so#(no ‘maybe’ about it I absolutely was. jesus christ.)#anyway I had to cope somehow so here lol#it’s much more creative writing leaning than my other methods but it felt right#I hope this helps at least one person to shift#we’re all going home one way or another#it doesn’t matter if we use joy or rage#we’re going home
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Ohhhhhh!!
The Shannon saying to Eddie at the lake she thought he was someone else and Buck confusing who he has feelings for and ending up dating Tommy parallel!!!
#I have not explained that well at all#but it’s about mistaken identity/mistaking feelings#Shannon thinking/expecting Eddie to be someone else - as an excuse (maybe)#and buck misunderstanding his jealousy is because Tommy has Eddie’s attention - thinking his feelings are for Tommy when#actually they’re for Eddie (and Tommy poses a threat)#is super interesting.#It brings into play the idea that Shannon was in love (well as in love as you can be as a teenager!) with someone else#that even back then Shannon wasn’t as in the reltionship as Eddie was#that it wasn’t Eddie going off to war or Christopher’s CP and Shannon not being able to cope that were the things that started to create th#rift in their relationship - those things didn’t turn it sour - but that it had been there from the very beginning#so if the parallels keep paralleling with buck and Shannon - at some point Buck will leave Tommy because he’ll figure out he’s not all the#way in their relationship#Shannon died so we will never know if she would’ve connected with someone else after the divorce#buck however has come back from the dead so will in theory be able to have a relationship with the love of his lifcough Eddie cough#it makes the choice to so heavily parallel Eddie and Tommys history and personalities all the more interesting#911 spoilers#sort of#eddie diaz#evan buckley#911 abc#thinking thought#water themes my beloved
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Hey!! For your next fic could you do Leo and Mikey angst
It came be 2012, MM or rise
~ 𝚈𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞 ~
💙🐢🧡 𝙵𝚒𝚌 𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢: @tmntalways 💙🐢🧡
·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝙷𝚒, 𝚃𝚞𝚛𝚝𝚕𝚎𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍!!! 𝙸 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚘 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚋𝚛𝚘 ☹️💔…𝙸 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚋𝚊𝚍 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜𝚗’𝚝 𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚗 𝚃𝚞𝚖𝚋𝚕𝚛 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝙸 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 💖💕💘💞🩷!!! 𝙰𝚕𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑, 𝙸 𝚍𝚘 𝚊𝚍𝚖𝚒𝚝 𝙸’𝚖 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚠𝚘 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛’𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚊 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 😅👍🏾! 𝙸 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚌𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛’𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚍— 𝙸 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝’𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 🫠…˚*• ̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙**·̩̩̥͙
𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎: 𝙷𝚞𝚛𝚝/𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝
𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 𝟹,𝟸𝟾𝟾
𝙻𝚎𝚎: 𝙼𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚢 🐢🧡
𝙻𝚎𝚛: 𝙻𝚎𝚘 🐢💙
𝚂𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: 𝙼𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚢’𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐…𝚞𝚗𝚏𝚘𝚌𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚍…𝚞𝚗𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚣𝚎𝚍, 𝚞𝚗𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎…𝚊𝚗𝚍 �� 𝚠𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚎 𝚋𝚞𝚗𝚌𝚑 𝚘𝚏 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 '𝚞𝚗'. 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚒𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚕? 𝙷𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜𝚗’𝚝 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚜𝚎 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚐𝚘 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚢…
𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚜: @shut-up-jo @someone1348 @saturnzskyzz
@savemeafruitjuice @rice-cake-teen10 @mistyandsnow
@skyloladoodles @itzsana-kiddingmenow @titters-and-tingles
(𝙰/𝙽: 𝚂𝚠𝚒𝚖𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚜𝚎𝚊 𝚘𝚏 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝…𝚋𝚞𝚝 *𝙰𝙷𝙴𝙼* 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚕𝚢: 𝙳𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚐𝚞𝚢! 𝚃*𝚌𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙺𝚒𝚗𝚔/𝙽𝚂𝙵𝚆 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚜 𝙳𝙽𝙸!!!)
𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝚂𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚍𝚎𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜, 𝚊𝚌𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏-𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚖 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜, 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐. 𝙿𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝙿𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝙿𝙻𝙴𝙰𝚂𝙴 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚔!!!
𝚁𝙴𝙼𝙸𝙽𝙳𝙴𝚁: 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝙰𝙳𝙷𝙳 𝚊𝚗𝚍/𝚘𝚛 𝚊 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚌!!! 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚒𝚝 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢 ☺️💞💗💓💕
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝙰𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚍 🕺🏾✨💞🎶˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*·̩̩̥͙
Mikey couldn’t do anything right now. Like…anything.
Well…perhaps he was being a bit too dramatic. He was breathing. And he was fidgeting with his squishy cube. So saying he wasn’t doing 'anything' wasn’t entirely true.
Right now he just…couldn’t do anything…productive.
For example, the box turtle tried making his favorite dishes and deserts! But that endeavor just ended up being a huge mess in the kitchen…and leaving the youngest turtle with a bunch of unappetizing food.
Which he fed all to Raph by the way.
Some would call that choice of action cruel but Mikey would just call it 'using his resources'.
Besides, it’s not like the eldest minded at all. He said, and I quote: 'It has a nice…crunchy feeling to it. Did you put some of Don’s inventions in this?'
Which honestly got a couple of chuckles out of the smallest turtle teen of the bunch.
Then, Mikey tried skateboarding! But for once in all his 14 years of living…it was just utterly boring.
And after all of that nonsense, Mikey then finally tried reading a comic…but he was too unfocused to even get to the second page…
But what was really new? Mikey could never focus on jackshit even if said jackshit hit him right in the shell.
His brothers and sister would always have to remind him to stay focused or 'not do this' or 'not do that'.
For example, a couple days ago Donnie had to kindly remind the box turtle (well…as kindly as Donnie could be anyway…) to brush his teeth.
To. Brush. His. Fucking. Teeth.
And honestly? Having to be reminded to do that was really embarrassing. And the orange banded teen knew his brother didn’t mean to humiliate him internally…but…yeah.
And it’s not like the softshell was wrong either! The youngest turtle just couldn’t freaking accept that he himself couldn’t do such a simple task in the morning.
But literally every task he completely fails to do is just utterly simple ones!
Like cleaning his room or not forgetting things or even keeping track of time!
…And the sad part about all of it was Mikey just honestly could not understand how his family haven’t gotten sick of his annoying tendencies…
And let’s be for real here…that was basically all of his tendencies.
The box turtle groaned loudly in his room, slamming his whole body on his bed as he screamed into his pillow.
There had to be something he could do instead of just wallowing in his own self pity…
And one of those options could not consist of bothering his family with his random bad mood. They had to put up with him 24/7…the least he could do was give them some space.
The youngest then glanced at his drawing notebook hopefully…
…One little sketch of something random wouldn’t hurt, right?
The amber eyed teen reached for his notebook, grabbing a pen from his drawer as he started to sketch his desk because why the absolute fuck not? Based on the objects he’s drawn in the past…sketching a simple desk should and will be easy, right? Right.
That was until the orange banded teen’s pencil tip broke. But it was fine! He could just re-sharpen it, right? Right.
That was until the youngest realized he had absolutely no clue where his sharpener was due to the fact his room looked like a pig stie. And there was no way he was looking for it in…that whole situation.
…The situation he created in the first place.
Michelangelo layed on his bed with his face staring at the ceiling in frustration, he ran his fingernails along his arms, not making really deep cuts with them but going deep enough for it to hurt a bit.
Like a reasonable turtle would, Mikey should probably get one of his stress toys…or better yet, another pencil!
But let’s be for real here…he’d most likely find a way to fuck that up too.
Suddenly, there was a small, quiet knock on Mikey’s door but…in all honesty? He just wanted to crawl into his shell and sob for the next hour and a half. Letting out a niiiiice and quick 'come in' would take way too much energy.
The box turtle let out a soft grunt, letting whoever was on the other side know it was a-okay to come in.
Abruptly, Leo peeked in the room, a wide smile plastered on his face as he closed the door, “Damn, Mikester…it looks like every single natural disaster went through your room…”
“I’m cleaning it.” The youngest grumbled to his brother.
“Really? You sure about that, little bro? Because if my memory serves me correct (which it in-fact does), you said that last week. And the week before that…and the week before—“
“I SAID I’M FUCKING CLEANING IT!!!” The orange banded turtle snapped, sitting up on the bed to glare at his immediate older brother before slowly realizing what he just did.
The youngest’s heart dropped as he looked away from his brother. The orange banded mutant’s eyed widened as silent and small tears ran down his face. He covered his mouth as his other hand turned to a fist, his nails unforgivingly digging into his palm.
“I-I’m sorry…I’m s-sorry…I-I’m so s-sorry…!” He started, rocking himself back and forth before stopping as he was met with a warm embrace. Leonardo hugged him gently but firmly, rubbing the other’s shell in a comforting hold. “Woah woah…! Bud, you have nothing to apologize for…” The slightly older teen said as he rested his chin on the top of his baby brother’s head.
“L-Like h-hell I don’t. I-I just screamed a-at y-you for no reason…” Michelangelo wobbly said. “You were just trying to lighten the mood but I just had to make everything harder like I-I always do…!”
“Mikey—”
“I-I always do this. I-I’m so f-fucking s-sorry Leo…”
“Mikester…I-I appreciate the apology but it seriously isn’t necessary—”
“You’re probably so sick of me and so angry at me. I-I’m sorry I just—”
“Mikey!” Leo gently yelled to get the other’s attention, squeezing the smaller turtle’s hands as he stared straight at him with pleading eyes. “Do I look mad?”
“…N-No.”
“Do I sound mad?”
“…No.”
The second youngest sadly smiled, “So what are you apologizing for, hm?”
“…I-I…dunno…I-I just…I just felt I needed to apologize…” The box turtle mumbled as he looked at his hands. The blue banded turtle sighed, slowly getting out of the hug so him and his little brother faced each other. The slider rubbed the other turtle’s palm with his thumb comfortingly, “…Do you wanna talk about it, baby bro?”
The leader in blue was just met with silence…which he could honestly work with.
“Angelo…you know you can tell me…anything, right? Like…anything. Although, it doesn’t have to be me you talk to about it. It could be Raph or Don or April or even Dad or Draxum! I just…don’t want you sitting here and bottling up the way you feel…”
Silence. Leo continued.
“You’re always there when we need you, Angel. Whether it’s to vent or to just ramble about shit, you’re just…always there. We don’t tell you this enough but we appreciate you always being someone we can lean on…”
Silence. Leo continued.
“But…you do know you can lean on us too, right? Comfort goes both ways and I can see you’re hurting, buddy. So please…if you need to talk to me…I’m right here.”
Mikey sniffled, squeezing Leo’s hand, “I-I d-dunno. Today is just…weird. This whole week has just been…weird.” Leo nodded, giving his brother his full undivided attention, “How so?”
“I just…haven’t been able to do anything…” The smaller teen admitted.
“What do you mean?” The taller teen inquired.
“I haven’t been able to do…anything. Like, I can’t draw, cook or even skateboard! Me!!! Not being able to skateboard— isn’t that crazy?!” The amber eyed turtle laughed bitterly.
“And it’s not like I can’t do it. I’m perfectly freaking capable of doing it in the right amount of time I want but my brain just. won’t. let. me!”
“I keep procrastinating and not doing the stuff I want to do and I have no idea why! I’m tired of just putting things off and being this way! I want to do things without having to ask you guys for help or to remind me or to relate it with a hyperfixation that I have!” Mikey hiccuped, a new wave of tears rolling down his face as his hands shook.
The amber eyed teen sniffled, refusing to look at his immediate older brother at all right now because…holy shit he just overshared a whole lot…
Like…a whoooooooooole freaking lot.
“…That sounds like you.” Leonardo shrugged.
In a state of just shock and confusion, the box turtle pulled his hands away from his brother, looking up at him as lime green eyes met amber ones. “I…what…?” Michelangelo murmured.
“I said that sounds like you.” Leo said again casually as Mikey glared at him, “Yeah. I heard what you said but that isn’t helpful.”
“I’m just being honest with you, Mikester.” Leo said, “Just…let me explain, okay?”
“…You have five minutes before I kick you out of my room.”
“Deal.” The lime green eyed mutant commented, “You can’t draw, cook or skateboard right now. You’re procrastinating and not doing the stuff you want to do in the time you planned…is that correct?”
Michelangelo sent deathly daggers to his brother— which the other wasn’t phased by at all. This time was probably the best time to crawl in his own shell and just sob his eyes out because what kind of dumbass question was his dumbass brother asking him?!
“…Yes.” The orange banded teen mumbled.
“And…why are those bad things?”
“WHY?!” The box turtle huffed out a laugh of annoyance, “Pfft— you’re asking me why. Maybe it’s because it’s annoying?! Maybe because it’s frustrating to deal with and I don’t want to burden you guys with my problems?! Maybe because I don’t want to fucking feel or be this way?!” The youngest shouted, breathing heavily as he finished his rant.
The box turtle looked away again, silently cursing at himself for getting annoyed so easily. “Mikey.” Leo started again, “Your being too hard on yourself, okay? No one is expecting you to be at your 100% all the time.”
“What you just described to me; you being able to not focus or you getting bored easily or procrastinating with stuff is…literally you. You’re just being you.” The slider explained as he held his baby brother’s hand in his. “And I get it. It’s hard to deal with it sometimes and it’s going to be hella frustrating. Like…super borderline frustrating. But you can’t shun them away and just…try to ignore them, bubs…”
“Let’s take moi for example. I’m impulsive, I talk loud and lose things daily. Those three things don’t make up my whole personality but it would be super weird and off-putting if I just…didn’t do or have those three things, right?”
The youngest giggled wetly, “Yeah…it would. A-And by the way, I’m still waiting for you to find that glittery pen kit I gave you…”
Leonardo groaned loudly and dramatically, causing the other teen to giggle louder, “I’m looking for it, okay?! It’s in my room…somewhere.” The taller mutant mused, “But anyways…back to you. You procrastinate, you relate things to your hyperfixations and you can’t do some of your favorite tasks from time to time…those are some traits that make up you, is it not?”
Mikey sniffled, rolling his eyes playfully due to the fact he knew damn well where this was going, “Yeah…”
Leo smiled softly, seeing his younger brother was starting to get his point, “I wouldn’t change a single thing about you, okay? I know sometimes it’s hard to deal with the things you described but you have us for that.” He said as his smile turned to a grin.
“You can come to me— to us— anytime. We love you for who you are…your flaws and all and we just…I-I need you to know that we love you so so much—!” The slider was cut off by a sudden abrupt embrace from the box turtle. The orange banded teen sobbed into the other’s shoulder, clutching the taller turtle like a lifeline.
“T-Thank you…” The box turtle wobbly said through tears.
“Of course, Angel.” Leo said as he hugged his baby brother back, “I love you.” He said as he kissed the other teen on the head.
“I-I l-love you too…”
.
.
.
.
.
.
“Tell your thoughts to shut up.” Leo said as he lightly poked Mikey in the forehead numerous times. The two were sitting on the box turtle’s bed just simply…relaxing and enjoying each other’s company. Michelangelo was sitting in between his older brother’s legs as he had his shell to his brother’s plastron.
Leonardo hugged his brother protectively, resting his chin on the top of the box turtle’s head. “What do you mean?” The youngest giggled out. “I can hear your thoughts, man. You’re not bothering me or disturbing me in any way, shape or form, alright…?”
The amber eyed turtle nodded, squeezing Leo’s hand, “Y-Yeah…I know...”
“I’m choosing to be here because I love you. I don’t feel obligated to be here, okay? You’re not annoying and you, neither your problems are a burden…okay?” The slider said reassuringly, “It’s okay to ask us for help…and we don’t mind reminding you to do things…okay?”
“You’ve said ‘okay’ like, fifty times…”
“Mikey.”
“Mhm…yeah yeah…I gotcha…”
The elder looked at his brother skeptically, resting his chin on his little brother’s shoulder so they made solid eye contact, “I want you to say it.”
“…Say what exactly?”
“I want you to say that you are an amazing person and you don’t need to change a single thing about yourself.”
“You are an amazing person and you don’t need to change a single thing about yourself.” Michelangelo grinned smugly. Leonardo glared at the youngest’s interpretation to his statement, “Mikey, you know exactly what I meant.”
“I said what you wanted me to say…so…” The amber eyed teen trailed off.
“Michelangelo.” The slider said in a warning tone as he poked the other’s side. The box turtle squeaked at the unexpected touch, trying to stop his immediate older brother from doing it again but his brother had a strong but gentle grip on him…
Then the smallest turtle came to recognition that he was stuck in a potential tickle hug with no way out…
…How wonderful.
“L-Leeheeo…doohoo nahat.” The orange banded mutant warned through his giggles, said warning not seeming too threatening due to the fact he was already laughing up a storm. The leader in blue raised a brow, poking the other’s side repeatedly, “I just want you to repeat what I said…in the first person.” The taller teen specified.
The smaller turtle squirmed in the hug, small frantic giggles pouring out of his mouth. This…really wasn’t how he was expecting his day to go. Just about an hour ago, he was wallowing in sadness about the stuff he hated about himself, to talking about it with his brother, to now getting tickled by his brother.
…So could he really complain about how things turned out?
…Yes. Yes, he absolutely could.
“Leeheeon! Plehease dohon’t!” The youngest squealed as one of his brother’s hands hovered over his stomach. Mikey held onto the other’s wrists, trying to stop his elder brother from tickling him but his small attempts ending up to be all for nothing as Leo effortlessly tickled his stomach with one hand.
“LEEHEEHAHAHA!!” Michelangelo laughed wholeheartedly, swatting at his brother’s arms. The lime green eyed turtle cooed at the gesture, now using both of his hands to attack the youngest’s plastron, “D'aww…look at you giggling your head off~! You’re my adorable little bundle of amazingness, aren’t you~?”
The smaller teen shook his head, a faint blush appearing on his face, “STAHA— squeal N-NAHAHA!”
“What~? What was that?” The blue banded mutant asked as he kneaded the box turtle’s hips. “GYAHAH— squeal SHIHIHIT! COHOME OHAHAN!!!” The amber eyed turtle cried frantically as he kicked his legs on the mattress slightly.
The youngest squealed with laughter, curling in on himself as he slumped in his big brother’s hold. Leonardo just sighed fondly at the action, wrapping the other in another hug as he raspberried his neck. “LEEHEEHEE!! PLAHAH— squeak NAHAHAT THEHERE squeak PLEHEASE PLEHEASE— squeak!!!”
“Not there~?” The elder lightly mocked, “What about…here~?” He mused as he used his hands to scribble all over the younger turtle’s ribs. Mikey cackled, shaking his head to try and at least subside the tickly feelings.
“NAHAHA— squeal AHAHAHA!! NAHAHAT THEHEHERE EHE— squeal EHEHEITHER!!! LEEHEEO!!” The orange banded turtle squeaked as Leo stopped for a second, “I’ve tried sooooo many spots, buddy! How many times are you gonna say not there, hm?”
Mikey genuinely squawked louder than a firefighter siren, squirming so much it looked like he was actually being electrocuted. “PLEHEHAHA LEEHEEO NAHAHAT THEHEHE RIHIHIBS!!!” He cackled.
“Not the riiiibs~? Why~? Is it because it’s your tickle spot~? Your tickletickletickle spot~? Because you’re ticklish~?” Leonardo asked as he lightly nibbled the crook of Mikey’s neck.
Michelangelo screamed in laughter, scrunching up his shoulders as he dug his heels on the bed, a couple of his plushies sadly falling on the floor (R.I.P. man…) “EEEHEEHEEP!!! S-STAHAP BEEHEEING MEEHEAN!” Mikey said as he thrashed on the bed.
The slider said nothing, his hands sneaking up to the box turtle’s underarms. “AAAAHAHAHA! OHO NOHOHO— squeak SHIT! SHIHIHAHAT!”
Happy tears slowly begin to appear in the smallest teen’s eyes, he weakly hit Leo’s arms as a last attempt to be set free, “LEHEHEMME squeal GOHOHOHO!”
“Ohonly if you sahay it, bubs.”
“IHIHI— SQUEAK!! LEEHEEHEEON!!!”
“Yeeeees, baby brother~?” The elder dragged out as he kneaded the other’s hips.
“IHI’LL SAHAY IHIHAT I-IHIHI’LL SAHAHAY IHIT!!” The amber eyed teen squealed.
“And you promise not to be a sassy little shit about it~?” The older teen asked.
“SQUEAK YEHAHAHA— SQUEAK YEHES YEHES I-I PROHOHOMISE!”
Leo stopped tickling his little brother, hugging him protectively as the youngest caught his breath slowly but surely. “W-Wahait…whahat squeak wahas ihihat yohou eeheeven wahanted me squeak to sahay again?”
The taller turtle pondered for a bit, thinking to himself before loudly groaning, “That’s…a good damn question. I don’t really remember exactly what I wanted you to say in the first place…” The lime green eyed turtle sighed, “Forgetfulness at its finest...”
The red eared slider adjusted himself, making sure the other was comfortable before starting to speak again, “Well…based on what we talked about…could you maybe just…y'know…” Leo gestured with his hands before groaning, “Do you get what I’m trying to say, man?”
“…I thihink I have ahan idea…” Mikey giggled as he fiddled with his hands, “I shouldn’t beat myself up so much because of some of my traits or quirks. And I’m allowed to feel frustrated and/or upset because things don’t go my way because of them. But…I shouldn’t allow those things to put me down...”
Michelangelo smiled softly, rubbing his palm with his thumb, “They don’t define me as a person but they make me a person. I don’t need to be at my best 100% and I’m allowed to have bad days. And if things get too overwhelming or difficult I can just go to you guys.”
Mikey hugged himself, letting out a small laugh as his happy tears welled up in his eyes, “I’m just…being me. And there’s nothing wrong with that.” Leonardo teared up at his brother’s words, hugging him tighter than he ever had before and burying his face at the back of the youngest’s head.
“Never forget that, Miguelito…never forget that.”
·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝙵𝙸𝙽˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*·̩̩̥͙
(𝙿.𝚂.: 𝙸𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚌, 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐!!!)
#Rottmnt tickle#Rottmnt tickle fic#Rottmnt tickle fanfiction#Lee!Mikey#Ler!Leo#MWYAHSHSHHSAN#This is actually so silly I love this 💞💗💗#I hope you guys enjoyed the angst 🤪#ADHDERS AND PPL WITH ADHD TENDENCIES UNITE 🙌🏾💕🩷💓💘💝💗‼️‼️‼️#Adhd is a bitch 🖤…#Leo can be an asshole at times but he doesn’t mean to I swear 😭💔#My boy just copes with jokes but he has a hard time understanding that not EVERYONE copes like that#So when Mikey snapped at him and started breaking down he was like: “😁 -> 😄 -> 😀 -> 😐 -> 🫢”#I HATTTEEE forgetting to brush my teeth 😟…it’s so damn nasty man#AND NOT BEING ABLE TO DRAW LIKE YOU USED TO⁉️⁉️⁉️ GRAUGHHHH REAL SHIT#I care about these two sm omfg#I need more content with these tWO LOOK AT THEM 🥹💙🧡!!!#“Tell ur thoughts to shut up 😒” msndhjsjss peak sibling comment#Also I changed my writing style a TEEEEENSY weensy bit if you haven’t guessed#For a while…I haven’t like the **’s I put at the noises that characters made when they laughed :/#Soooo I tried just doing it in italics and AHHUUGHFHS 😖💖💗💘💝🩷💓💞💕#IT LOOKS SM BETTER#I just wanted the laughing to seem more natural#Your just being you guys 🫶🏾#DON’T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF PLEASEEEE#Eat some snacks!!! Drink some water/juice!!! Exercise!!!#Your allowed to feel the way you do so just take it easy ☺️👍🏾#I’M RUNNING OUTTA TAGS BUT IF ANYONE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT THE BEHIND THE STAGE WORKS ON HOW I MADE THIS I CAN ALWAYS YAP TO YOU ABT IT 😈🤌🏾#I don’t think I implied this very well but Leo feels the same way Mikey feels…so that’s why he was so PERSISTENT on making sure Mikey’s alr#But Leo take his own advice challenge GO 🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️ Maybe a pt. 2 🫢??? Idk yet lolololololol
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AND I MET THE CHANGE GOD TOO. OKAY. COOL OKAY
#I WASNT EVEN MEANING TO SO I ACCIDENTALLY SKIPPED THE DIALOGUE BEFORE I KNEW WHAT WAS HAPPENING FUCK#ill go and find it later if only to give myself peace of mind. BUT WOW. WHAT THE FUCK#my original plan was to 1) work my way to the king and talk to him 2) doom myself and take everyone down with me 3) loop back to floor 3#so i can visit the observatory and scrounge for any lore. although since i got killed that run siffrin asked the king to kill him first#which was intereresting. but i decided to have all doors unlocked that time around so i can just get the starcrest and go#but for some reason it wasnt working so i went to get the keyknife since i was already there and completely forgot i already had it#from the previous loop and THATS what triggered it. IT WAS FUNNY BUT ALSO SCARY BUT ALSO I THINK I GET WHAT THEY MEAN#about siffrin going back without actually changing. going along with a script even if his feelings on things change#the same way he has his own small rituals like the carving thing and does it for constancy. reassurance or safety even#and the times when he breaks script and ends horribly like the sadness attacking thing and bonnie yelling at him cause him to loop#to avoid it. although i cant really say anything bc id probably do the same thing. maybe not for the same reasons since im cruel#and make him do the worst to see what will happen since i put curiosity over rejection sensitivity as an observer and player but well.#i feel wrongfooted bringing it up since i dont have it myself but i have to wonder if this kind of leans into ocd tendencies.. i remember#reading something about how ocd is fuelled by fear. and things like counting and rituals are kind of used to cope with that?#if anyone knows anything more or talked abt it already id be really interested in hearing it bc im almost sure im not#the first to come to this conclusion. but i simply dont know enough nor have the confidence to broach the topic rn esp with how often#misconceptions around ocd get casually passed around so its hard for me to know what is and isnt a baseless assumption#puppy plays isat#in stars and time#isat#playthru#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#change god#WHAT WAS THAT WITH WEARING LOOPS FACE THOUGH WHAT THE FUCKKK
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they gotta let me out this classroom i have old man yaoi to draw
#xmen#cherik#snap chats#PLEAASSSSEEE IM DYING IN HERE#ive got three things lined up in the brain .... two are movie older cherik but i got one for 92 .. for funsies ...#im also throwing up cause im thinking of some stuff ive already drawn but i wanna redraw it- namely that goofy 'eyes' doodle#i thought of a better way to execute the idea but i cant just redraw that now i already drew it... maybe ill do so a month from now#'redrawing to track progress' or whatever excuse ill put up ....#for now tho. let me out of here i have OLD PEOPLE TO DRWA !!!!!!!!!!!!!#ill cope by writing comic scripts ... cause the one i wanna do today is a quick lil comic#i say tht as if ill finish that comic today but i know i wont. i know i wont.#i dont plan for it to be as detailed. '''detailed'''' theres no fucking CHESS in it this time like last comic#but i also know myself i somehow turn quick projects into. Long Projects vjALKAJ#ok im done prattling thank you for joining me on my schedule for cherik this week bye vjelakjak
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tbh i think a lot of the people saying "well both sides are wrong"/"bt stans are just as toxic" are just not exposed to other perspectives in this fandom. as a buddie fan who's been watching this show since s1, i can safely say that buddie fans have always been toxic. like as fact. to me, to say that bucktommy fans are just as harmful or just as annoying or just as bad as buddies consistently are is just. delusional. indicative of at worst a biased opinion and at best an uninformed one. buddie has been here since s2 and fans have ruthless ever since. bucktommy has been here for 3/4 of a season and for the most part, stay in their lane. i'm sure there are bucktommy fans who suck, like that's just being on the internet, but you have to be blind to ignore how insane buddie fans are and genuinely how much worse they are in comparison.
i don't want to generalize and i think constantly adding that disclaimer is annoying as hell bc obviously i'm not talking about everyone but because buddie has been here for so long and taken up so much mental space of very die-hard, passionate fans, you're going to see much more intensity on that side. after season 5, i had to step away from the fandom and the show because of how frustrating it got. it was annoying to see people swear up and down buddie will be canon by the end of s3-no wait s4-no wait s5-no wait- and ultimately it sucked my enjoyment out of a show i otherwise enjoyed because i got swept up in the Buddie Of It All and forget about why i watch the show to begin with. we've been left to stew in our theories and now we can't tell what canon and what's fanon anymore, and when the show reminds us, the disappointment and frustration kills our hopes.
i was also active in the dan and phil fandom and supernatural fandom, like ik why people think we're annoying and it's because we are. we make everything about the one thing we like, we comment on every post begging for it to become canon, we're violently disappointed when the show doesn't play into our fan theories because we've convinced ourselves buddie is going to happen by the end of the next episode or actually the end of this season or actually maybe the end of the next season. we've torn a part every female love interest, either making them boring or making them unlikeable in our fanon. all that to say is that when people call us annoying, they're telling the truth and when bucktommy fans say buddie fans are toxic, they're coming from a sincere place. i mean we can't even enjoy our own ship because we're so quick to get our hopes up and be let down about something as stupid it becoming canon. who cares if it becomes canon, just like it to like it.
and it makes sense why there's perceived "toxicity" on the bucktommy side. our energy is being matched; the obsession, the passion, the surge in fandom. if you don't like it or even just find it annoying, i suggest you guys look back on your own posts and comments and behaviors towards other people in the fandom and other characters and unbiasedly compare it to the Toxic Bucktommy Shippers you're claiming you hate. if bucktommy fans are obsessive, it's because we've set the stage for that. if bucktommy fans are getting aggro and defensive, it's because buddie fans have been on the opposition and don't know how to turn it off. we've gone from underdog to bully somewhere in the last 6 seasons.
#buddie fans are slowly killing themselves with all goal-post moving and fighting anything that moves#i mean we've been the underdogs for so long it makes sense we're defensive but at some point that turned into full on attacks at anything#that isnt buddie#so now we're not underdogs we're actually the very loud majority often punching down at people for enjoying maybe a smaller ship#ive stopped interacting with the buddie side of the fandom personally because bucktommy fans are way more lighthearted#its like when ppl trust men more if they have a cat lol like if youre a buddie shipper and you like bucktommy i trust you way more#i like bucktommy too and i think them being “”endgame“” or whatever makes a lot of sense#and im becoming more and more obsessed with them as the show goes on bc thats the story#buck being happy and cute and blushy is adorable and i wanna see more#anyways ive been wanting to air out my thoughts about this for a while#cause its really interesting to see this progression and where it seems like the story is going#and how fans react to that#if the show ends and buddie never becomes canon. how are they gonna feel. how will they cope if we get a bucktommy marriage in 2 seasons#will they boycott or finally just leave the show entirely?#or will they just pinch their nose and sit there miserable bc they just couldnt adapt?#911 abc
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If I talk about Midoriya's internalized quirkism. If I SPEAK about Midoriya and All Might's mirrored internalized quirkism, upon which Midoriya's is based upon "logic and facts" and All Might's is based on his general self-loathing. If I say that neither of them know how to feel any sort of worth without being useful to the point of self-destruction—
#bnha#boku no hero academia#midoriya izuku#all might#yagi toshinori#thinking about the movies again#the way midoriya treated melissa#how he viewed the other quirkless people#comparing it to both all mights own internalized quirkism which manifests as Concern™#gNAWING AT MY CAGE BARS#shimura nana had the same hand in fucking up all mights perception of himself that yagi had in midoriyas own perception being ruined#i love OFA and the AFO/OFA dynamic but it really did DESTROY these two's ability to fight for their own cause#yada yada destruction of the self blah blah equal to the destruction of the foundations of things you wouldve once fought for etc etc#LOVED all mights comeback though#he really did look at what OFA was doing to izuku and go Hm Maybe That Was Not The Best Coping Mechanism Actually#CHILD STOP BEING MY MIRROR BEFORE YOU HURT YOURSELF#and the way that as izuku begins to go down the same spiral all might went down yagi begins to see how unhealthy it was for him and how#painful it had to have been for the people around him to watch him go through that. to watch him deny their help over and over as izuku is n#ow denying his. god. GOD.#sorry im going insane
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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oh im obsessed with this actually… who ever wrote this one i am kissing u on the forehead and hugging you real tight… inigo is such a loverboy im kkkhhhhhhijnsdnfng
#ann plays awakening#EDITING TO SAY I STARTED TAG VENTING HIT READMORE AT YOUR OWN RISK#anyways#LAST LINE IS A KILLERRRR WOW#‘ann werent you just pairing olivia with thar—‘ OLIVIA IS A BUSY WOMAN OKAY#but also i just had this old save file from when i wanted to see pink inigo and decided to get some more supports#im obsessed actually like#ok tag venting time maybe this should be its own post but u guys know who i am#not only does this support in my very educated opinion do a good job at emulating inigo’s way of speaking#but i think theres also a very underrated characteristic he has that not a lot of people talk about and its that hes honestly quite morbid#him spending hours talking to and dancing with his mother’s grave is very beautiful and moving but it is also not a normal way to grieve#which makes sense because duh nothing about his life is normal but its j like. you know#if robin is his father (and maybe j the normal convo i dont remember) in the hot springs scramble he’ll insist upon bringing—#severed risen limbs home as a way to remember the peacefulness (lol) of the springs#and he thinks absolutely nothing of it!!#i think he gets attached to things just a little too intensely and because his life is surrounded by death how he expresses that can be#very interesting. and he talks about death all time more than the other kids#bc while a lot of their coping mechanisms are based in fear and the need to instill confidence in themselves (think cyn or gerome or owain#or sev or yarne or noire)#and how their SCARED of death and of loss and adapt different behaviors to act like theyre not (to varying degrees of success)#i think inigo is much more accepting of the fact that death follows him and has made it a normal presence in his life#which is not a good thing it means that he hasnt let himself grieve. he lets death hang over him and follow him instead of pushing back#also guess which one of the awakening trio in fates has the canonical story death. just by the way lmao#anyways bc im writing this in the tags on my phone i cant actually see what the hell ive been saying im j stream of consciousnessing this#but my point is that inigo has a weird fixation on death and dying that stems from his inability to make peace with death and grieve#and i think him idolizing death in this support (this BRILLIANT fan support that made me ill) is so in character and so lovely#i miss him so bad (hes literally in the photos im posting) grghhhrgah#i wuv him :(
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I really like how in s3 they made an active effort to show how Hannibal really did live in his mind palace as much as he could while in the BSHCI.....absolutely devastating
#i think about this a lot#like man. he really did retreat into it#i also think about will asking him if he could live like that a lot#when they're burning all his records in the fireplace#i feel like it was partially a way for will to assuage his own guilt#that he could put hannibal in prison and know that it wouldnt destroy him#he wouldnt be happy - maybe not even content but. he could cope w the lack of freedom#making himself feel better abt the decision he was still contemplating doing#i wonder also if will would've visited Hannibal in prison if he did get put away in s2#he didnt visit him in s3 until the end but...there was more between them then#for better or worse#s2 was a strange time where they were both so close w a veil between them#and also abigail being alive would've altered things drastically#anyway#off course#i like that he lived in his mind palace as he said he would#gut wrenching to see my pookie like that#she had it coming tho#whats that one post#free my man#he did all of it but#free him#hannibal#hannigram#hannibal lecter
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