#maybe the first one but if the graphics aren’t great idk

[thesoftestpunk]

Fallout 4 being $5 on ps5????? Sign me up lmaooo

[racingliners]

F1 Re-Watch 2013: Round 6 - Monaco

Alrighty! Ticking another race off the re-watch list before we go away (and before I completely forget about this re-watch project being a thing).

According to the list I made to keep track of my watch through, this is the third last race I haven’t seen anything from, though Monaco being the procession it normally is most years idk if that’ll mean much. This was the first of Rosberg’s 3 Monaco GP wins, and I think there’s some late race chaos but apart from that I’m going into this completely blind, so let’s jump in!

ngl I go miss the pre-race graphic that had the world map before zooming in on the host race du jour, as I geography nerd I really enjoyed it

Okay, starting grid whiplash:

A Merc front row before it was cool (Rosberg pole, Lewis P2); Seb P3; Jenson P9, Jev P10.

Honestly, not that whiplash inducing, the beloveds have not been screwed over for once

Helmet watch: Lewis’ rainbow helmet visor is still the prettiest thing ever

Also it is so weird seeing all the Merc guys in white overalls, even though we haven’t had the all-black look for that long I’m astounded as to how quickly I’ve gotten used to it dsvhdfvhd

Also also: this race happened in the mist of some classic off-grid drama (Merc had a non-sanctioned tyre test with Pirelli after the Spanish GP, no one was happy about it bc in-season testing was banned at this point in time, mouthing off with and in the press ensued)

Not that has anything to do with the race action, I just find it funny 

[Formation Lap]: All but 4 cars starting on the super softs, though back in 2013 all the cars in the Top 10 had to start the race on the tyres they ran in Q3, unlike the free choice they have now

“I think Raikkonen’s got a great chance of winning this race” Brundle he’s down in 5th find some sense

(the things I endure for this)

[Start/Lap 1]: Juuuuuust about all clean into turn 1, Lewis and Seb were VERY racy

oh maybe not all clean there’s a yellow flag

OH SHIT one of the Caterhams just lost it’s front wing

oh god more McLaren on McLaren violence

[Lap 2]: Seb is still harassing Lewis, brat Seb be bratting

and they’re still at it into the swimming pool

[Lap 3]: Meanwhile Rosberg has a 1.4 second lead

I love how unstressed I am about Lewis v Seb, it’s always so spicy but such good racing

meanwhile Jenson has been complaining about Perez being too aggressive, make of that what you will

and another yellow flag somewhere

[Lap 4]: oh the shot of the cars going through swimming pool is 👌

(I am occasionally a Monaco apologist, it’s v pretty)

[Lap 6]: Okay the race has calmed down 😅

Classic precession time, everyone will be trying to stay close to the car in front in the hope of jumping them at the pit stops

5 and a half seconds covering the top 6, which somewhat proves my point

oh jeez the McLaren violence replay, can we not race each other into the chicanes lads?! 😵‍💫

[Lap 9]: aaaand there’s the second Caterham on fire, right at the pit lane entry too

Caterham’s not good, very bad Monaco GP

oh the smoke is blowing across the track, excellent

man how did F1 manage before the Virtual Safety Car, bc it’s just a yellow flag rn

though maybe I think it should be full SC

there is a very large group of marshals pushing the car back into the pits like 😳

well that was mildly terrifying

[Lap 11]: Jenson potentially chasing down Fernando 🍿

2000s F1 intensifies

[Lap 12]: Di Resta fastest lap????

Okay so bc the Mercs aren’t pulling away from the rest of the field as quickly as everyone expected, it’s apparently forcing the rest of the grid into a one stop bc of how small the gaps are between everyone

(or at least that’s how I’m interpreting what Crofty and Brundle are saying, either I’m dumb or they’re dumb one of the two)

[Lap 16]: Jenson is still reasonably close to Fernando, but maybe not quite close enough to get the pass done on track

[Lap 17]: cut to the Merc garage prepping tyres 👀

[Lap 19]: Livery watch: as much as I am a black Merc stan, the old silver livery does look very pretty in the sunshine 

[Lap 21]: somewhat related it is SO STRANGE being on board with Lewis and not seeing the number 44.

Like 10 is Gasly’s number to me, I am getting whiplash asfuhasufh

(2013 was the last season before drivers got to pick driver numbers, before then car numbers were assigned based on where a team finished in the constructors. For example Merc had 9 and 10 for finishing 5th in 2012)

[Lap 23]: and we have out first proper pitstop folks!! It’s Danny Ric, who swapped his softs for super softs, which doesn’t make much sense

And Bottas pits too

...and he’s still in the pits. I fear the graphic is stuck

[Lap 24]: Yeah I think the graphic is borked Val is still being shown as being in the pits

“target minus 1.6 on your dash” Bono I don’t think Lewis has actual rocket fuel in his car please be serious

[Lap 26]: And Webber pits for softs!

sounds like a pit stop shuffle is incoming since the Mercs were given the hurry up

will they double stack? or will they pit on sequential laps?

Meanwhile Di Resta did a pretty decent pass on Massa into Saint Devote

[Lap 27]: And Raikkonen pits, as does Jenson

Disco music ensues for the pit stop shuffle

And a wild Dan fastest lap just for funsies

[Lap 28]: Still not Merc stops

the hilarity of the entire grid pitting to for Mercedes’ hand and them going ‘lol no we’re better than falling for your mind games’

(Merc have always been the funniest team on the gird)

[Lap 29]: Still no pit stop for the Mercs as Alonso pits

Just Seb and Perez still to pit in the top 10 alongside the Mercs

oh add Sutil and Jev to that list, thank you pit stop graphic

[Lap 30]: ah shit Massa’s car is sideways in the barriers at turn 1, he’s out the car thank goodness

not a very nice crash though

[Lap 31]: Seb pits

and unsurprisingly, Safety Car to clean up Massa’s car

[Lap 32]: And Rosberg finally pits

as does Lewis, the famous Merc double stack will always be famous

But as a result Lewis is behind the two Red Bulls, while Rosberg retains the lead

[Lap 33]: And a wild Daft Punk sighting... because Monaco

Man this race really had been more eventful when Monaco’s usual standards considering it’s bone dry and bright sunshine

“Fourth Monaco Grand Prix in a row to feature the safety car” and absolutely no one is surprised

I am not going to comment on the ‘lapped cars may now overtake graphic’ other than the fact it required a warning.

[Lap 36]: Anyway apparently a seized gearbox caused the fire on Pic’s car, not a fun fact

[Lap 37]: Oh Rosberg’s engineer coming in with some proper tyre stats (60% remaining on the rears and 50 odd on the front, if you’re wondering)

[Lap 38]: and SC in this lap!

we’ll also be getting back under way at half distance

[Lap 39]: green flag! 

oof Rosberg shot off at the restart, that’s already a 9 tenths gap to Seb in P2

Lewis trying to get past Webber

[Lap 40]: and again Lewis having a peek into tabac but nothing comes from it

AHHHH HE TRIES IT INTO RASCASSE

sorry for the caps lock it was either that or me yelling aloud at 11:07pm

[Lap 41]: He didn’t get the move done, but it was v racy

Lewis Hamilton, keeping races entertaining since 2007

Meanwhile Jenson is chasing Fernando who’s chasing Raikkonen

WDC on WDC fisticuffs

and Perez gets past Jenson into the nouvelle chicane!

(entertaining racing??? in Monaco??? I LOVE IT)

[Lap 44]: daaaaamn, Perez is not messing about, he tried a divebomb on Fernando

[Lap 46]: yellow flags again...

oh jeez, Maldonado in the barriers (he’s fine) but the impact pulled the tecpro barriers into the track.

so a red flag

my goodness has this race been eventful 

and cut to all the mechanics and engineers running down the pitlane to get back onto the grid

ohhhhh yeah people can change their tyres on the grid under a red flag. inch resting.

zdvuhdfuvhdf Ted cornering Horner in the pits for a quick quote, I adore his tenacity

so with some very rough maths there’s 33 laps to go, assuming the race ran to full distance, so it would absolutely make sense to change tyres here. 

(look at me trying to be Ted)

Speaking of Ted, he’s playing team boss bingo. He’s added Toto Wolff and Martin Whitmarsh to his red flag interview list.

And in breaking news apparently Alonso has to give Perez P6 for going off track.

And Ted’s now chatting to Claire Williams. Just one more for team boss bingo.

(Also I miss Claire SO MUCH the paddock has way less braincells without her)

[Lap 47]: and looks like the race is getting back underway!

(less red flag chatter bc it’s just hit midnight and I need to get better at timing these re-watches)

Raikkonen & Hulkenberg on the softs, everyone else re-starting back on the supers

And Alonso did give Perez P6 under the SC.

Safety Car pulling in and the camera once again followed it instead of the lead car

[Lap 48]: Anyway, green flag!

thankfully all clear through Sant Devote

Lewis once again resuming to chance down Webber

[Lap 49]: While Alonso is trying to get P6 back from Perez

[Lap 50]: Rosberg already 1.2 seconds ahead of Seb

and DRS re-enabled

Lewis is SO CLOSE to the back of Mark

and he once again tries into Rascasse but nothing comes from it

[Lap 51]: once again the shot of all the cars running through swimming pool is sexy

[Lap 52]: oh damn Raikkonen and Perez fisticuffs now, once again at the nouvelle chicane, both of them went wide

[Lap 55]: Lewis being told to mind to tyres so he has some grip left at the end of the race

[Lap 56]: idk what Rosberg is running on but he’s 2.7 seconds ahead of Seb now

Monaco Man is Monaco Manning

[Lap 57]: Not Sutil going down the inside of Fernando at the hairpin and making it stick 👏

Team Silverstone be Team Silverstoneing 💚

This house will always be pro-midfield

[Lap 60]: not more double yellows at sector one 😭

fellas please I can only take so much

One of the Marussia’s in the barriers :(

(driver’s fine)

[Lap 62]: Gap between Rosberg and Seb now 3.7 seconds

[Lap 63]: Grosjean rear-ending Dan at the Nouvelle chicane and nearly going over the back of the Toro Rosso... CAN WE NOT

SC back out for the carbon fibre confetti

This is turning out to be a poor choice of late night viewing my blood pressure is likely not having a fun time

I swear the only thing missing from this race is rain, and I’m very glad it never happened

[Lap 65]: So we’re past the 2hr mark, but the race is still going somehow

idk my understanding of time limits is very foggy at this point, the incidents combined with it being half past midnight had left my brain mush

oh jeez the bird on the apex of the nouvelle chicane, v pretty slow mo shot of it flying away though

[Lap 66]: SC in at the end of the lap

aka ah shit here we go again

(Raikkonen’s engine is losing water bc it’s too hot so that’s fun)

[Lap 67]: green flag!

and again all clear through turn 1

[Lap 69]: nice

(sorry my filter goes out the wayer after midngith)

ANYWAY Jev is still holding onto P10 🤞

I also forgot to mention is lovely Francois Cevert tribute helmet, you can find the pics in my ‘monaco grand prix 2013′ tag 

but back to racing, the fisticuffs between Raikkonen and Perez got upgraded to violence.

Perez tried it down the inside and got pinched as Raikkonen turned in for the chicane and bits of carbon fibre went flying

[Lap 70]: And Raikkonen has a puncture

[Lap 71]: And Jenson gets past Fernando!!

✨F1 drama✨

oh the replay of Jenson getting past Fernando through Anthony Noghes 👌 

[Lap 73]: the incidents don’t stop coming, Perez just shot over the nouvelle chicane

ah he’s pulling off, might be a brake failure

[Lap 74]: But that promotes Sutil to fifth, Team Silverstone truly living their best lives

[Lap 75]: 4 laps remaining klaxon

and jeez a 4.4 second gap between Rosberg and Seb

well we know which Merc was filled with rocket fuel

[Lap 77]: wild that with all the chaos of the race, Rosberg has still led every lap of the race

big ‘call an ambulance but not for me’ energy

[Lap 78]: Final lap!!

vhfduvhs Seb going 1:16.5 and getting fastest lap

bestie we needed that energy five laps ago

“Sebastian you know the score, don’t take any more risks” Rocky is not amused

[Finish]: and Monaco Man wins the Monaco GP!!

Seb P2, Webber P3, Lewis P4, Sutil P5, Jenson P6, Alonso P7, Jev P8, Di Resta P9 and Raikkonen P10.

Whew, I am Niki Lauda looking around dazed and he is me. That race was EVENTFUL. Like so eventful I’m glad I’m going straight to bed after this. Though in classic Monaco fashion is was more incident central as opposed to lots of racing, but gosh so much happened we really do not have time to unpack all of the that. What a race 😵‍💫

Next up - Canada!

[alicepooryorick]

Hey, I’m reaching out to you in an ask so you don’t have to share this publicly if you don’t want to. I know you probably didn’t mean any harm, but I’d recommend deleting your post about Oracle!Jason because it comes off as unintentionally sexist and ableist. Idk how familiar you are with The Killing Joke, but in comics there’s a long-standing issue regarding the “refrigerator woman.” When a woman is “fridged” in a comic, it means that she is the victim of something horrific (i.e. torture, rape, murder) but the storyline focuses only on how her experience affects the men around her, with no regard for how it actually affects her. The Killing Joke is one of the most infamous examples of this, because Babs’s assault is very graphic and sexualized, but the narrative is focused on how her father (Commissioner Gordon) and Batman are affected, not her. (For more information on fridging, I recommend this, this, and Gail Simone’s website, which coined the term.) Following the events of The Killing Joke, Babs’s character was discarded for several real life years. Her reemergence as Oracle is important because it allowed her to reclaim her trauma and reframed the narrative; she was no longer a victim, she was a survivor. I know that, at first glance, Babs’s assault and Jason’s murder can seem comparable because they were both at the hands of The Joker, they were both senseless acts of violence, etc. but the sexual nature of Babs’s torture and the lack of respect she was given as a character before she reemerged as Oracle separates these stories. (Also, I’m not disabled, but it’s my understanding that the word “crippled” is offensive.) I know you probably didn’t mean any harm, but sexism and ableism are really big issues in comics (and irl), and it can be easy to lean into unconscious biases when you aren’t fully aware of the harm your words may cause. I would also urge you to read The Killing Joke, it’s a tough read but it’s important to experience it firsthand in order to fully understand just how far the sexism and ableism go. There’s an animated movie adaptation from a few years ago, but it’s worse than the graphic novel (there’s an unnecessarily added rape scene) so I’d avoid it. Feel free to respond to this message or ignore it as you please. My DMs aren’t usually open, but send me an ask and I’ll message you first so we can talk about this further if you have any questions.

Hi there, first off thank you for bringing this to my attention. I really appreciate it.

Looking back now, yeah. My choice of language is bad. I'm not fully sure why I chose crippled over any other word that's FAR better. Nothing really to say there but sorry. Even as someone physically disabled that word isn't like faggot. It's not going to get better.

And yeah. I've never read the Killing Joke in its entirety. Alan Moore himself said in an interview he wishes people would not read it because he thinks it's a really bad book that has to many issues. But maybe after this I will go read it. I knew it was a horribly awful book, for godsake it's about the assault physical, sexual, and mental of Barbara and her father. All to get rid of Barbara Gordon from the role of Batgirl.

I agree I had bias here, this isn't the first time I've said shit unintentionally about Barbara Gordon. If you look back far enough there's probably still some posts I made lamenting that she didn't become like Marvel's Silhouette. I'm not proud of those either. And now that I look at it, as much as I do think the idea of seeing how two of my favorite characters swapping positions and how they'd interact with eachother's position... It's the same as my old posts about Barbara and Silhouette. It's pretty hurtful.

And again, thank you. I really appreciate your kind words while explaining the issue. It really helped, and I hope you have a great rest of your day <3

[im-not-using-a-main-for-this]

Y’know I’ve never been more happy that my posts aren’t getting any traction

Because here’s some trauma

Tw: basically me detailing my csa as like a story, I would like to mention that it’s not graphic sex but it’s still uh not fun, also bullying and like basically slut shaming but child edition?

Also sorry but it’s going to be looong since I want you to have all the background info

So it all starts when I get a dog as a late 5th b-day present, our current apartment doesn’t allow dogs (despite the landlord owning dogs) so we move.

It an okay apartment not great, it’s obviously in a pretty poor neighborhood but we were poor so.

We live right next door to a family with some kids, two maybe more but only two of them matter, a sister and a brother.

The first few months we’re there I play with them, I fall off scooter, I stop playing with them because why idk.

I either turn 6 before solidifying the most important friends of that time or after I don’t remember.

But at some point I become friends with the girl next door, two sisters in the apartment complex, the sisters little brother, and one older girl.

I’ll refer to them as Maya, Ella and Bella (honestly they are kinda like one person), Jack, and Anna, Anna doesn’t really matter

We’re all like a small friend group, except for Jack he didn’t really play with the others that often

I’m an odd kid very emotional, I’m autistic I didn’t know it at the time though, so I got bullied

My bully’s were Maya’s brother, who I’ll call Dan, and some other kid I’ll call Mac neither of them are that important

I was almost daily called names, ugly, stupid, Mac even called me a bitch once, I chased him around car and tried to hit him for that one

They stole my stuff (they weren’t great at it, they kept dropping it as they ran, probably didn’t help to have a 6 yr old chasing you)

All the girls said they’d “keep me safe” from my bullies

To be clear that meant chasing them on scooters and yelling at them

Maya actually refused to help defend me from her brother

So while this is all happening one big kid, he’s 14, is on vacation I’ll call him Geo

Well he gets back, somehow I start hanging out with him I don’t remember why

But he’s sort of like the leader, the guy my bullies look up too, so by hanging out with him I also hang out with them (by hang out I mean watch Geo play HappyWeels)

Now my other friends aren’t that happy but whatever

At some point we take a walk together and he asks me about our relationship status

This 14 yr old is taking this 6 yr old on a romantic walk to ask about their relationship status

He basically asks if I had a crush on him and if I would like to date him or eventually marry him, he gives the option of just friends but the way he says it makes it feel like the first ones are the only correct answers

I say date, why? Because I’m a 6 yr old who doesn’t want to get bullied and I thought I did have a crush on him (which even if I had bro back up I was 6)

So after that we start regularly going behind bushes to kiss, he actually asked if we could do tongue kissing but I didn’t understand and didn’t want to

So no tongue but it definitely wasn’t just pecks

I turn 7, he turns 15 at some point

At some point he goes on vacation again, and I’m worried that my “kissing skills” will be bad by the time he gets back and he won’t like me anymore

So Ella and Bella basically force me and Jack, their little brother, into some bushes and tell us to practice kissing.

I don’t, I don’t want to this kids like a year younger then me and he looks like a baby, so instead I spew some bullshit to him and act all cool

He doesn’t want to kiss me either, again we we’re shoved into this bush by his sisters, so we leave the bush

No one believes that we didn’t kiss

Geo gets back from vacation and sends either Mac or Jack to tell me that he doesn’t like that I was practicing kissing with others and I should stop since he’s back

I trie to hide since my dad answered the door, unfortunately he spots me and basically informs my dad that I have been kissing people

Dad is pissed, yelling and shit, I was scared I didn’t know I’d done anything wrong really

Mom isn’t happy either but she wasn’t like dad was

They basically tell me not to see him anymore, that doesn’t work but they didn’t know that at the time

At some point the girls aren’t happy that I’m hanging out with the guys

They literally all stage like a voting thing where they said “raise your hand if you think blank should stop hanging out with Geo” and then said “raise your hand if you think blank should keep hanging out with Geo”

The girls all said I shouldn’t, Geo and my bullies/former bullies said I should, I didn’t say anything.

I wasn’t choosing.

After that my only friends where Geo, the other guys, and an old lady who liked being nude and gave my dog hotdogs, all the girls abandoned me (Anna still happily took scrap fabric from my mom though)

Ella and Bella said I seduced Jack, y’know the little brother they pushed me into bush with to kiss?

So after that l only hung out with Geo and the guys

At some point Geo is moving out of the apartment, so he basically says we should form a blood pact so we’ll always be together

We don’t actually have any this to make ourselves bleed with, he insisted pine needles could draw blood so we tried that

It didn’t really work

He moved out and we also moved out shortly after, where I would then be traumatized by an abusive friend and public school!

All in all that part lasted like a year, maybe a year and a half

I’m still traumatized

Ps I named him Geo because I stole a geode of his, I still have it, I’m never getting rid of it, it feels like a big old fuck you to him. Even though he clearly didn’t care about it since he left it in the dirt

[crystalstar8]

Knights of the Night (ch 12)

Chapter 12

Ch 1, ch 2, ch 3, ch 4, ch 5, ch 6, ch 7, ch 8, ch 9, ch 10, ch 11, ch 12

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29139240/chapters/71536491

pairing: Jungkook x oc

genre: vampire au, college au, twilight, romance

word count: 1,568

warnings: blood (obviously), kidnapping, child kidnapping, needles, France

notes: vampires, vampire au, college, college au, so many twilight references, blood, needles, kidnapping, children, homelessness, dance, ballet, flashbacks, romance, slow burn, probably no smut, idk yet tho, France, French things, attempted genocide, inaccurate French history, bisexual main character, @strawberriewithchocolate-blog @mozy-j  @daechwitad-2​ @zobadak​​

summary: Catalina starts college in a small town all the way across the country. She doesn’t know anyone and isn’t exactly looking for friends. She just wants to focus on dance. But when she meets fellow dance major, Jimin, and adventurous, fellow freshman, Jungkook, Catalina ends up discovering a whole new side to the small college town; one that is dangerous but oh so enticing…

tw: graphic depictions of violence, death, mentions of suicide, possession

                “Where to start?” he asked. “I was…the son of a king. My life was pretty strict but I had this group of friends. We were all scholars, but when we met in secret, we liked to play with things like witchcraft and necromancy. We wanted to summon something, I don’t even remember what we wanted to summon, maybe someone who had power to give us something. Anyway, we planned it for a long time, and then we went to the woods and did this elaborate ritual. We made a human sacrifice, a woman who served in the palace. I remember her, she was terrified. I didn’t feel bad about it though. I was… cold and apathetic back then, but I still remember her face. After we slit her throat and drained her blood, we set fire to her and all the other ingredients. And then a woman came from…”

               Yoongi narrowed his eyes and looked to the ceiling, as if struggling to remember.

               “She came from the woods? Or…No, she was standing in our circle. But I think she came from the woods. She was a demon. Her eyes were bright and hard to look at, and the way her body moved seemed unnatural.”

               “She was probably just some kind of witch,” said Namjoon. “Demons aren’t real.”

               “I know what witches are like, my friends and I were witches,” said Yoongi. “She was definitely not human. Not a vampire either. She was not like anything I’ve ever encountered since – I’m getting off track, we’re not having this conversation, Joon-ah!”

               Namjoon chuckled and held up his hands. “Fine, fine.”

               “Anyway, she asked who our leader was and they all pointed to me,” Yoongi continued. “Then she asked me what I wanted, or what I most desired, or something like that. I said I wanted eternal life. She just smiled and said that my wish was granted. A day or so later, I started feeling this thirst, this painful, painful thirst. I tried everything, then I realized what I wanted. I started taking blood from the servants in the palace, and my family hid me from the public. They all hid my secret because I needed to take the throne when my father died. But my family was scared because they thought it was a curse. That it might be bad for the kingdom once I took over. I didn’t even really care about taking the throne anymore, or maybe humanity in general stopped being interesting to me, but whatever it was, I left my city and started travelling and living on my own. I might have been trying to find the demon again, I knew she was still wandering around, but it took me several years to find her. It was when I came back to my city and found out that she had taken over the body of my sister, killing the rest of my family and taking the throne. I knew it was her because her eyes were the same and she moved the way she did in the woods that day, but it was unnerving to see it on my sister’s body. It was… difficult to see my family the way they were. She had left them in the palace to rot. There was no staff, just her. I never felt close with my family, but I was alone without them.

               “I asked her what she did to me and she told me that she gave me a great gift, that she gave me eternal life. I told her to take it back but she just laughed. I ran away again and was living in the wilderness for years, feeding off of travelers. I was just wandering for so long and it was miserable. I wanted to die, but nothing I tried would work. A few years passed and then I went over to America for a change of scenery. Then I met Namjoon and Taehyung and I moved in. I even checked on my old palace to see if my stuff was still there. It was, so I had it shipped here. I’d say it’s still in pretty good shape after all this time.”

               “And by ‘a few years’, he means one thousand years,” said Hoseok. “When were you born? Two-hundred B.C.?”

               Yoongi shrugged. “I have no idea. Something like that.”

               Despite how disturbed Catalina was by his story, she found it incredibly fascinating. Yoongi must have seen the disturbed faces of the humans in the room because he sat up and said, “I’m not like that anymore. These guys taught me humanity and empathy or whatever.”

               “Okay, Hoseok. Your turn,” Jimin said with a grin.

               “Me? I already told you everything there is to know!” he said. “Born in the 70s, turned in the 90s, I was a broke college student, but then I had to drop out.”

               “This is all we know too,” said Namjoon with a wave of his hand. “He doesn’t like talking about it.”

               “Yeah, we can talk about something else,” said Hoseok. “Like, you guys. What do you all plan on doing after school?”

               “I want to work L.A.,” said Jimin. “I want to dance in movies and music videos. Maybe be a choreographer for stuff like that.”

               “Ooohh,” Hoseok exclaimed. “That would a lot of fun! I would do that.”

               “We can both dance in L.A.!” said Jimin.

               “Gukkie, what about you? What do you want to do after you graduate?” Catalina asked.

               “I have no idea,” he said, laughing. “I like film, but I’ve already changed my major three times, so who knows what will happen with that.”

               “What were your previous majors?” she asked.

               “Dance, fine arts, political science, and now film,” he said, listing them off of his fingers. Catalina’s eyebrows raised.

               “Political science?” she asked.

               “Heh, yeah, it was too hard though,” he said. “I don’t like school enough for something like that. I kept failing my classes that semester. What about you? Do you have plans after school?”

               Jungkook played with the end of her braid as he asked.

               “Um, long term plans, I don’t really know,” said Catalina. “But my dream is to perform in a ballet in France. I hope I can go there and audition after I graduate.”

               “You will, you’re really good,” said Jungkook. Catalina blushed and looked away before she did something crazy, like jumping him in front of everyone.

               “Thank you,” she said.

               “Why did you come all the way out here for college though?” Jimin asked. “You have huge schools in Michigan, and really good performing arts schools in Chicago.”

               “Ah, I think I just needed a change,” said Catalina. “I needed to get away. I miss my mom, but I didn’t like my friends there, I didn’t like my town, and ever since I came out as bisexual, my mom had been acting weird-“

               “No wonder you, Jungkook and Jimin all get along!” Jin interrupted. “Birds of a feather!”

               “Whoa, Jin! So, we’re just outing everyone now?” Jungkook exclaimed. Jimin sighed and rolled his eyes.

               “It’s fine, I already knew about you,” Catalina said, patting Jungkook’s thigh.

               “I never told you though,” he said.

               “Jungkook, what was the first thing you noticed about Namjoon?” Catalina asked.

              Jungkook blushed and said, “Thighs.”

              Catalina raised an eyebrow. Namjoon looked up with wide eyes.

              “Plus, I know you knew it was gonna rain during the baseball game. That’s why you had everyone wear white shirts,” said Catalina.

               “That was for you too,” he said with a smirk.

               “It was definitely for both of us,” said Catalina, making him laugh. “I appreciate it though.”            

               “I know,” he said, slipping an arm around her waist. “I saw the way you were looking at me.”

               “Okay, I’m about to puke,” said Jimin. “Jimmy K, hurry up and talk about yourself before these two get out of hand.”

               Jimmy K chuckled and said, “Well, I’m working on my Masters in Astrophysics, and after grad school, I hope to work for NASA.”

               “Jungkook said you were a ‘former bad boy’?” Catalina asked, laughing. “What did that mean?”

               “During high school, I used to cause a lot of trouble in this town I guess,” said Jimmy K. “The police chief was my arch nemesis, but now I work with him.”

               “Wow, so cool,” Catalina said, sighing dreamily. Jungkook snorted beside her. Jimmy K threw her a wink.

               “I already know what Jin is gonna do after college so no need to share-“ Jungkook began.

               “Jungkook, you brat! I know what you’re gonna say!” Jin said, pointing a finger at him.

               “What?”

               “You were gonna say that I’m gonna be a housewife and stay-at-home mom,” Jin said.

               “Hey, you said it, not me,” said Jungkook. Jin took off his slipper, got up, walked over, and swatted Jungkook over the head with it. Jungkook leapt to his feet and chased after him.

               “He’s getting his teacher’s license,” said Jimmy K.

               “You want to be a teacher?” Namjoon asked. Jin shoved Jungkook off of him and sat back down. Jungkook dropped back into his spot next to Catalina.

               “Yeah, I want to teach elementary,” said Jin.

               “Oh god, good luck,” Yoongi mumbled.

               “Well, you better hurry up,” said Jungkook. “Your youth is fading away quickly.”

               Jin grabbed a nearby pillow and threw it at him. Jungkook retaliated and soon, the whole room erupted into a pillow fight.

[twinvictim]

your opinions on each of the post team silent games and a rating out of 10. hand 'em over

YEAHHHHHH FINALLY CATERING TO ME!!!

Uh really long post oops. for reference, my rating for the first 4 sh's are as follows

Sh1: 9/10 Sh2: 7/10 Sh3: 9/10 Sh4: 9.5/10

Silent Hill 0/Origins

overall score: 7/10

Alot of the games issues can of course be attributed to it being a psp game, and while i won't excuse everything bc of that, j have to be honest and say I think it had so much potential as a (very) late ps2 game. Not to mention, the game ON THE PSP functions as it should. (The ps2 port does fucking not tho..oops) ans you'll see that this is...a rarity post team silent.

The story has alot of potential, Travis as a character is interesting and sympathetic and j think his dynamic with alessa js super fascinating to dig into, both of them being abused children and there was alot of intrigue regarding his powers, the game feels like a smaller more watered down she, and for that I can't fault it too much. The weapons system isn't my favorite but the combat itself is reminiscent of 1 and 2 and I really like a good chunk of the monster design, there was clearly thought and care put into it, nurses and strughtjackets/lying figures be dammed. The unlockables are pretty cool though and alot of the environments look pretty cool for a psp game, hell i LOVE the theater level its super unique, I would love to see it in (actually functional) better graphics. I also think the puzzles are pretty solid, not hair pulling like sh1 even if they're not quite as clever as say sh3.

My biggest criticisms come from the reuse of sh1 characters (just alessa and Travis would've been fine, maybe dahlia and some more org characters would've been better) the bad ending being straight up bad writing. Not to mention they did the sh3 thing of "kill too many monsters and get the bad ending" which is...stupid. The foreshadowing of the butcher being? He's just kinda there, I like the lead up but it would be more interesting if the butcher represented something from those years between Travis' father dying and him being an adult. And while there's more replayability imo than sh2, it doesn't have difficulty sliders and that makes it kinda hard to come back to quite as often. Not to mention unlike sh1, 3or sh4 there's not as much horror focus and random events.

Overall, solid game its fun to play, very silent Hill and if you're willing to look past a few continuity errors and accept its a little different and slightly derrivitive at the same time, I like to say I had alot of fun with it and still do. (Maybe I just like Travis alot...idk)

Silent Hill: Homecoming

Overall score: 6/10

Once again most of the issues here are gonna be corporate fuck ups, but I'm also not gonna beat around the bush, this game isn't like...good. its bad actually. "But you gave it a 6/10?" Yeah bc its not NEARLY as bad as some other games I've.. experienced.

The negatives here are, many and vast, so let's run them down. Firstly the games performance is janky on console (ps3 at least) and abysmal/unplayable on PC, what with framerate issues that are detrimental to game play on pc and make the third boss impossible. That said on console it is completable and not even too terrible...usually. Scarletts boss fight however is terribly unbalanced and broken on all skews so :/. The combat is...functional but not anyone's favorite, it's difficult to use any actually strong weapon and you can pretty much strong arm ur ways through shit with just the knife (except scarletts first form..don't try it, it won't work) for some people this will be borening (not my opinion but w/e). Most of The puzzles...leave alot to be desired. I hate sliding block puzzles. Also no run button? At all?? No easy mode? Ok... also what is this.. wheel design for the inventory...im accidentally using my serum..what is serum also? And why is the item pickup noise like...bass boosted.

The character models look awful most of the time, and comically unfinished other times, some human models are just grotesque, (judge halloway, Adam shepherd, mayor Bartlett. .you get it) and yes...there are sexy nurses. Bc of course there are. (Whole ass out???) They did straight up have some terrible endings for this game (ph ending for one, the way you get the ufo? Hell the ufo ending is kinda boring. I like the in water ending here too but. Yeah.) the story has some, problems. To say the least.

However, while the performance is bad its not the worst I've played (on the ps3 once again..unplayable on pc) and I hardly noticed the framerate when I was just running around, I personally found the combat kinda fun, between trying to dodge accurately and still attack and not use all my health items (bc those and ammo are actually rare! Unlike some games...) it is kind of a challenge and reminds me of a much worse sh4. And hey, the health items both heal an understandable amount of health that i can easily read with a bar (unlike 1-3) and they're not a complete joke (unlike sh4...) i find the exploration really fun and sure the characters look shit but the environments are Fucking great. The church is one of my fav sections, short as jt might be and yes it stole the confessional scene but its pretty well written and acted I think. The monster design is pretty fucking rad too honestly, I like the schism, siam, I like the DESIGN of the needlers even if they make me so mad to fight, and hey the nurses and ph don't show up that much to be too aggregious. The boss monsters are also fantastic design wise, very unsettling and the boss rooms are interesting as well.

The story has problems but it also has alot of potential, the concept of people sacrificing ther children for silent Hill and being overcome by their own pain and guilt is pretty fucking cool, and alex is a good character they did a good job of giving him personality, ppl bitch about him being a soldier but a) he's not and b) soldiers are people too, and a sh game that could tackle toxic masculinity, be critical of the military, and also tackle abusive religeious parents is pretty intriguing, not to mentions themes of brotherly love that's complicated bc of how they clearly favored Josh . Sure, it misses the mark, but I like taking the potential and thinking about it bc its compelling to me. And like I said, i like alex alot.

Overall, bad game yes, but not the worst as it has enough good for me to honestly really enjoy it, besides it is pretty funny when it is bad. Don't play the pc port tho

Silent Hill Shattered Memories

Overall Score: 8/10

Unpopular opinion im sure but honestly? I find this game ALMOST on par with the team silent games. Its really that good, yes its a wii game, so this is my score taking into account the motion controls BTW.

For the good, man where do i start. Its BEAUTIFUL for a wii game and esp for a post team silent game, the graphics are nice and Constsitent, the environments are pretty and it has a pretty nice cold color pallet to contrast the warmer tones the series tends to skew towards. The acting and intrgrige are all on point and the WRITING is fantastic, its one of those games you play the first time not knowing the twist and play the second time picking up more and more clues and things that strengthen that twist so much more. Like sh2 its a simple story told in such a clever and interesting way that you'll probably be too invested to put it down, I beat it in one sitting in 6 hours bc i was so engrossed in the narrative. And the Puzzles man! The puzzles are phenomenal and fun to accomplish and there's even a little bit of variety in a few places on repeat playthroughs. The level of detail in this game is insane really, the things that change with the different psychology answers are pretty cool too and tho it all plays out relatively the same its still fun to see the different things you can get to happen. The gimmicks like the phone as an object, taking pictures, sneaking and zooming in, they're not too intrusive as to take away from the exploration or other game play but not completely useless and have some pretty fun Easter eggs too. The game plays sort of like a worse outlast with good puzzles and for that I do have to commend it. Oh and the fucking MUSIC is INCREDIBLE idk something ab this soundtrack has alot of heart put into it clearly.

Now, it's not perfect. The thing is, it is a WORSE outlast type game, in the running and hiding sense but well, the hiding is completely useless, its a run away game, which is ok, but I understand that people aren't gonna be a big fan of that when silent Hill has always balanced combat ad puzzles and exploration. The running segments are..aggravating, mostly bc its hard to figure out where to go, not to mention using motion controls that don't like to work half the time to fight the monsters off of you. Also, the monsters are not scarey in the slightest and the raw shock scream is actually enragaging if you've died one to many times, there's also...not really any penalty for dying. And once you're out for these running segments,there's no danger, no monsters, nothing to hide from despite having a hiding mechanic. Its not really a horror game more of a psycological thriller and I understand that the fact that its not horror can be disappointing. The psychology things might be a bit overhyped And yeah fine, the wii foreplay scene...well yeah its weird but it IS also funny as fuck.

That said, there's still alot thats good and alot thas unfair criticism lobbed at this game. Harry didn't have much of a personality in sh1 bc he's a ps1 character and sm really fleshed him out well, not to mention giving cybil some nice characterization, and they did some interesting things with dahlia and kaufmann. And Lisa.. well I'm gonna be honest I never found Lisa all that interesting in sh1..so it doesn't bother me that she's the way she is in this game. I know people hate the "horny" aspect of it but to be completely fair, YOU choose to make the game that way, don't answer in a sexual manner or look at boobs or anything else and you won't have an overly sexual game, its...literally that easy. Its given as an option for the play id they want to go for what is arguably another joke ending. (You cannot tell me sleeze and sirens is meant to be a real serious ending to the game. Cmon) and you can complain about the innacuuracies if you want but its a spin off, a retelling of the original game. Its not canon, and it didn't change the original game. It just took the ideas presented there and made them more human and lest fantastical, there's some supernatural elements but it takes a backseat to the human moments. And its honestly really cool.

Overall, great game, i reccomend it if you don't mind some slight jank with the motion controls and honestly? Look up directions on where to go for the running segments and you'll have a pretty good time overall.

Silent Hill Downpour

Overall score (so far): 7.5/10 *to be noted i haven't finished actually playing it yet but I know the basic plot and some of the details so I doubt it'll change

And so for the final silent Hill Game, I have to say, i don't think it deserves NEARLY the hatred it gets, there's alot about it that i find really cool and even fun and I think its a solid entry, a little better than origins in some parts and its downsides are both unfortunate and once again, mostly Konami's fault . That said, I'm also not gonna kid and say its a good game, just that I like it alot and we should be nicer to the last silent Hill game were probably ever gonna get.

Downpour has a pretty good, original story overall, there's alot to it, alot of intricacies and intrigue to it that honestly make it a pretty sold silent Hill game. Its different enough from the others to stand out but not super far removed from its themes and messages. I like that it doesn't try and lean into the cult aspect and tries to do something else with it, it doesn't try to explain silent Hill, but just use it to torment the characters, as it should be. There's tragedy ad human feelings here and some of them aren't the most...sensitive but they are pretty reasonable reactions id say. Playing as someone who's odds are stacked against him from the beginning as he's a prisoner is a cool way to open the game, someone convicted and you must discover if he is a good person or not. Themes of revenge explored more than in sh3 which is pretty cool. The environments look pretty nice, and i like the look of the otherworld, once again being unique with its cooler color pallet, but without the ice so it really feels like its own thing. The EXPLORATION is awesome with an actual open world which I think works well, there's alot to do in town (unlike sh1 and 0 on limiting hardware and 2 which just pretends you can explore to town but you cant) there's alot for cool little stories and sidequests to do, my favorite so far being the cinema (which has a section of ACTUAL fixed cameras like old Resident evils which is smth SH has never done and its super fucking cool!) And all the sidequess help strengthen murphy as a cheacter and argue for his innocence or complexites. The weapons system is pretty cool, picking up items and attacking with whatever you might find, finding cool Easter eggs with exploration and having fun noticing things. And it does honestly have the strongest side characters outside of SM. The puzzles are pretty solid and fun to figure out with some cool mechanics and the seperate difficulties is a great thing to bring back (actually done well like sh3) I also kind of like the method of triggering the night world/rain/monsters, and silent Hill really feels likes its constantly punishing Murphy, as it should. The music might not be Akira but its still pretty damn good, and fuck yall I like the Korn song, and you CAN press start and skip it yknow. (Thx tomm hewlit)

The negtitives tho, well they are there. For one it has the worst performance of any sh game outside of pc homecoming and like...the hd collection, the framerate like to shit itself alot lmao, its not usually detrimental bc I've played re2r with similar framerates but, yeah its not great. Not to mention while the models look better than hc they don't animate well or often at all, and the game has trouble loading in the models as fast as they should. The sound mixing could use...some work too, poor murph sounds like he's eating the mic. While I find the games exploration really fun, murphy also has the issue of not running very fast so it can be a little annoying to get back to a place you want to be when you can't run that fast, not to mention the loading times. The monster design is def the worst in the series, maybe on par w SM. Which is disappointing bc there's some pretty good moments here and there, but not nearly enough to make it scary and there's so much you can do with monsters with this premise. Also, the running sections in the otherworld are better than SM ad even more engaging than the brief ones in 2 and 3, but still, I'd prefer to do puzzles or fight a boss or smth. I will also say, the endings are, iffy while the main 2 endings are really good and Anne's bad ending as well as the joke ending are great, murphys bad endings are weird and ooc for the muphy you come to know in the game (even more so than Origins) plus, idk that the writers knew all that much about prison andbprison culture, nobody in a real prison would be mad ab Murphy killing a pedo (there's some racist implications here and there too which is. Unfortunate and disappointing. I like Howard and Robbie but they are a bit tropey, esp Howard) that said Anne is a compelling albeit unlikable character and thas pretty cool to see pulled off.

Overall, while it has downsides, I don't think Downpour is worthy of all the scorn it gets, this can have problems and you can point them out without disregarding the good parts and while it is unfortunate it doesn't run better and have some extras and didn't handle some things great, I still think its worth a playthrough, esp if you go out of your way to do the sidequests.

Bonus round

Book of memories is not a game I intend to play bc I don't wanna get a vita and can't imagine I'm missing much. It doesn't look bad pwr say but I'm not interested tbh

Fuck PT. :)

[abbystanaccount]

Abby/Owen St. Mary's set fic "II"

A sexy time fic, anything I wrote in here just pretend I didn't 😳😅. This was done so I figure I should post it for the shipping squad, everyone else keep scrolling pls... I have unfinished fics set before and after but I figure I can just put this one here for now until those are finished, then maybe put the whole thing on ao3... or nah idk.

It was such fun having a secret lover. Ever since Abby had arrived at St Mary’s two months ago, she’d had her eye on Owen, and he the same back. He made her warm and giggly and everything just fell into place a few weeks ago when he kissed her. Just the other day, Owen told her he’d never felt this way about anyone before or even had a real girlfriend.

She never had sex before, and Owen only had a couple of times years prior. But four days ago they did it for the first time in one of the empty rooms, and it’d been amazing. Abby couldn’t help but think about him and the way he felt in her since. Now beyond just him always making her smile, her mouth watered when she saw him. Owen was all she could think about. But she still had her duties to attend to as a Firefly and no one else could know, especially not her dad.

Abby’s shift finally ended and she knew Owen’s did at the same time. As planned, he was going to wait for her by the south exit and meet up with her.

“Psst” she heard him call. Abby spotted him and grinned, half jogging up to him.

“Hey!” she greeted before being pulled in close for a kiss. Owen gripped her body tight, one hand moved to the front of her shirt and held her breast. Abby blushed at his forwardness, he normally kept it cool.

Owen leaned his head down, exhaling hard, “I kept thinking about you all day.”

“Me too,” Abby admitted. Just being near him and holding him was starting to make her wet.

Owen gave her a light squeeze on her side, and then dropped his hand down to hold hers for a second.

“Let’s find a room.”

They went down the halls, peeking in the rooms for a good one. Finding a largely intact and cleanish looking one, Abby pulled Owen by the hand inside. The tall teen shut the door with his other hand and turned to kiss Abby fiercely, holding her close and kissing her as if he’d been starved for it. Abby did her best to keep up, opening her mouth to let in his tongue and pawing at his shirt.

AN: ok I figure by now the people not interested in this aren't reading so if you want to have a premium reading experience, I based this fic off a risque set of renders made a few months ago. Warning graphic 18+ PLS don't click unless you want a good time lmao link

Owen leaned his head to the side to stop and guided her to a chair in the room. He sat down with a plop and wiped the dust off it. Abby glanced around, she supposed it was better than the old hospital bed.

“Sit on my lap, babe,” Owen offered, and with a shy smile Abby obeyed and went over to sit on him. She hoped it wasn’t uncomfortable for him, that she wasn’t too boney or heavy, but Owen seemed happy and leaned in to kiss her again. It was turning her on so much how he was leading the way.

Their makeout seemed to spice up a bit as Owen moved his hand to the crotch of her pants, rubbing her over the fabric. Abby hummed and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. After a moment his other hand wandered to her shirt and Owen pulled it up revealing her tummy and lacy red bra. Owen paused to look and admire her.

“You were wearing something so sexy this whole time? You’re such a bad girl, Abigail.”

Abby felt a tinge of self consciousness, “How am I bad if I’m doing it just for you?” She played with the collar of his shirt. “Shouldn’t that make me good?”

Owen gazed intently at her, “Yeah, you’re right. You’re a good girl. But good or bad,” he began rubbing her crotch again over the pants in circles. ”I’ll take either one.”

Abby bit her lip and kissed Owen again, desperate for more feeling. She then brought back her hands and undid her belt, then struggled to pull her pants over her thighs and ass which were thickening with muscles from the tireless training she’d been doing.

Abby then pulled up and over her shirt leaving her in just her red, silky underwear. She remembered finding this set at an abandoned store on the way to Salt Lake. She’d discreetly tucked them in her bag, hoping no one noticed. Abby always did kinda of like pretty or girly clothes, it’s just she was never in the environment to wear them. She always had to be ready to be down and dirty, though sometimes she’d dream what it’d be like in the old world, hanging out in something flowy and soft at the park with her friends.

Abby’s daydreams were interrupted by Owen’s strong fingers now rubbing her crotch over her thin panties, she could feel the warmth of his hand over the thin layer of fabric. When Owen had done that during their first time, he’d driven her crazy with anticipation. It seemed they were both at a point though that the teasing needed to go further.

“Take them off,” she told him.

His amber eyes looked black as they met hers and Abby squeaked as Owen pulled off her panties with one hand and pushed in two fingers with the other.

“You’re so wet.” He murmured and Abby inhaled sharply.

“Because I want you so bad.” Abby responded and bit her lip. Owen moved his hand in and out, and her slick pussy squelched. Abby groaned and gripped his shoulder ducking her head. His fingers were thick and he curled them in her as she moaned.

“Fuck….” Abby whimpered, she made eye contact with Owen and it was almost intimidating, he seemed so dominant.

Then he pulled out his fingers and Abby opened her mouth in protest. Owen responded by sticking the digit he’d had in her into her mouth. Abby began to suck them as she figured that’s what he wanted. She tasted sweet on his skin.

“Damn, you are such a good girl,” Owen hummed, his pupils were wide. He pulled out his hand and began to shimmy down his pants. His cock, Abby thought, pressing her thighs together. She wanted it.

Owen pulled out his thick member and rubbed it vertically against her pussy. Abby adjusted herself on his lap. “Where’d you learn all this, Goober?” She asked, putting a hand on his face.

Owen tilted his head. “Porno DVD’s. That and Manny telling me shit in great detail. It’s way better in real life though.”

“Are you gonna fuck me hard?” Abby teased. He’d been gentle the first time but she could handle it. She was almost trembling next to his cock.

“You want that, don’t you?” He purred, putting a hand on around her jaw.

His cock was hot and grew rock hard as she could feel it pulse next to her. She was getting so wet.

“Yes… please put it in me,” she whispered to him. “I want it.”

“Hmm,” hummed Owen, giving her a confident smirk. He hooked a thumb through the back of Abby’s bra and gave it a tug, undoing the clasp. Abby gasped as it came loose and Owen leaned forward to give her chest and nipple kisses.

Abby moaned and held the back of his head as he kissed her. He was teasing her so much it was torture, Abby grasped at his cock, craving at least some friction. Owen growled and Abby pressed herself up against him. “Put it in me,” she practically begged.

Owen shifted them both and leaned back to align himself up with Abby’s entrance. Abby lifted herself up and could feel the head pushing to get into her. Her nails dug into Owen’s shoulder and she gasped as the slickness of her pussy allowed his dick to slide in. Abby scrunched her face and toes as he slid in deeper and deeper until Abby was sat all the way down in her lover’s lap, him pressed against her. Abby let out a dangerously loud noise and threw back her head. Owen brought his hand around her thin waist to her clit, and Abby began to shift her hips around in circles with him in her.

“Happy now, baby?” Owen asked her in a low voice, and Abby moaned a “Yes!” and nodded.

It felt so good, Abby wanted to cum already. She was really enjoying this sex thing, it beat just sticking her fingers in herself and wishing they were someone else’s.

Abby got the urge to move around a bit more and adjust her weight to her limbs, moving her hips a bit more. Owen moved his grip to help her, the smack of their skin reverberating throughout the room.

Abby gripped the arm of the chair and used her legs to push herself up and down. Owen’s cock went in her deep as she bounced up and down in her lover’s lap.

“Fuck, fuck…” Abby moaned.

Owen held her hips as she moved, but her moved one up to grab her breast as he thrust.

“Your tits are bouncing as much as your braid,” he kneaded it, “I love your beautiful little tits.”

“Mmmm,” Abby hummed, appreciating the dirty talk. He just turned so possessive when he had sex, and she was loving it. Abby was also happy he found her attractive and it made her feel wanted. She found him very attractive as well, so handsome and tall. The sound of the bodies hitting together filled the room, Abby wasn’t well versed in having penises in her, but his felt really good.

Abby leaned back into the seat and looked at Owen. He lifted up her leg and brought it in, moving his hips. This angle felt even better and Abby moaned needingly as she stared at him.

“You like how my cock feels?” Owen asked, his eyes full of lust.

“Yes!” Abby mewled with a gasp, she figured he’d like dirty talk back. “It’s so big. It feels so fucking good, Owen.”

Owen leaned in and kissed her ferociously. He then gripped her tight and started thrust up rapidly and Abby squeaked against his mouth as she struggled to keep steady. She was getting close and moaning as it built.

Owen could tell and brought a hand to her clit, going in circles, the pressure was just what she needed.

“Fuck! Owen I’m gonna cum!” Abby buried her face into his neck, his pace was merciless as his balls slapped up against her and his length moved in and out. “Owen! Oh my god, fuck! Owennnn!” She dug her nails into his shoulder.

He shouldn’t cum in me. Dad would be so mad if I got pregnant! But for some reason Abby didn’t care, and felt her orgasm take her over the edge as Owen thrust up in her rapidly. Abby squeezed her eyes shut and held onto him for stability and moaned as she felt the pleasure hit her in waves, the pressure from his hand and his cock stretching her magnifying the feeling.

“Owen… cum in me,” Abby groaned, her pussy was extremely sensitive from the orgasm, but it was what she wanted to feel. He’d pulled out the first time, shot his warm loads all over her tummy. But now Abby wanted him in her so bad.

“I want to cum in you too, goober,” Owen responded, but he seemed a little hesitant.

“Do it, please!” Abby begged, burying her head into his neck and squeezing her nails again into his shoulder.

Her boyfriend grunted and clenched Abby’s hip hard as he moved her body to his liking. His cock twitched in her and was deep in her as it came its multiple loads.

Owen cursed and groaned loudly and Abby felt him grip her tightly onto him as his hot cum began to fill her and then bubble out.

“Oh my god,” Abby gasped, unable to keep her thoughts straight. She could hardly believe she was in this position with someone. Three months ago she’d have never have guessed. But three months ago she wasn’t in love.

They stayed there for a minute, breathing hard. Eventually, Abby knew she had to get up and gingerly pushed herself off of Owen gasping as she felt him leave her body. Everything was so sensitive. Owen had gone semi-limp and watched her as she stood up naked, cum beginning to run down her leg.

Abby swore and took an old cloth to wipe it off. In her peripheral she saw Owen sit up.

“The way your ass jiggles, Abs… maybe there is a god.”

Abby snorted and gave him a look of disbelief. She tossed him the cloth as he looked like he needed it.

They put back on their underwear, but when Abby reached for her shirt, Owen grasped her forearm and guided her back to the chair. She let him pull her into his lap again, despite knowing they had to go soon or people would notice.

She put her legs up and Owen wrapped his arm around her bare legs and torso almost as if she were a baby.

“Hey, goober,” Abby murmured to him with a smile.

Owen’s face was relaxed but confident, “I love you,” he told her. “Sorry if that’s too early to say. I wanted to say it weeks ago, though.”

Abby felt her stomach flutter, she almost felt like she was in one of those teen romances she used to read. In this hard world she lived in, maybe this was the closest thing she’d ever get to that. She was good with that.

“I love you, too.”

[rpgmgames]

May’s Featured Game: Verloren

DEVELOPER(S): Choko ENGINE: RPG Maker VX Ace GENRE: Horror, Adventure WARNINGS: Flashing images, loud sounds, sudden sounds/images, full list (contains spoilers). SUMMARY: Chris Winter, find himself alone and lost in a black void filled with nothing but coldness. The only warmth you feel comes from your breath. In this void the young boy sees a door filled with light, trying to reach the door only leads to the boy to fall deep into a world filled with nothing but nonsense. Only when you find the key, then you’ll be able to leave.

Download the demo here! Our Interview With The Dev Team Below The Cut!

Introduce yourself! *Choko: Hello, I'm Choko! I'm the developer, artist, and writer for Verloren. I've been messing around with rpg maker since 2013 but finished my first finished game in 2016 which is Desolate Village. I've also made other games since then. Those being Demon Tea, Friend Hunt, and Star Detective. So Verloren isn't my first rodeo in the whole game development stuff, but it is the biggest project I've ever work on so far. Besides game dev stuff, I'm a huge rpg maker games, horror games, rhythm games, and just games with a interesting style to them.

What is your project about? What inspired you to create this game initially? *Choko: Verloren is a horror adventure game that focuses on Chris Winter, a young boy who finds himself alone and far away from home because of this he won't stop for anything to find a way home and learn why did he arrive here. During the course of the game Chris would meet others who have their own goals. What inspired me to make Verloren is a bit hard to say from what I first started to work on it back in 2017, I was mostly trying to work on another project after finishing Desolate Village. It could have been something else but I really forgot. But since I took a huge hiatus year break during 2018, I would personally say the time I actually initially started to work on Verloren was in February of 2019. Since everything was rework with a fresh outlook on everything, so the whole head space with Verloren is totally different from 2017-2018. What inspired me when I went back to rebuild/fix the game was friends, since their support made me feel I could go back to work on the game. During 2018 I would say I wasn't in the best mood while working on the game, so the support my friends gave me really helped a lot and encouraged me.

How long did you work on your project? *Choko: I've been working on Verloren for three years now. But will say 2019 to now is when actually development started/actually got going. 2018 I took the whole year off to cool down/chill. So the Verloren of 2017-2018 is very different from the Verloren of 2019 to now. If that makes sense....

Did any other games or media influence aspects of your project? *Choko: Oh boy, this section might be very long since there's a lot of games and media which inspired/ influences Verloren, though for many different reasons. Will say the two rpg maker games that inspire me a whole lot when it comes to everything they do is Mare and Akademia (I know it's just a demo still at the time writing but it's very good. Good demo, like the characters are great!! Everything is very nice!) Other rpg maker games do inspire me, mainly friend stuff but Mare and Akademia are two games I really love and wish I can make Verloren a game which has characters which feel realistic in a way they do. Like please go play them. Besides rpg maker games will say that NieR Automata, Okage: Shadow King, RE 1/RE 0, Deemo, Rule of Rose, Smile For Me, and the Kirby series are games that just really inspire me with Verloren, there's just certain aspects of them which I hope I can capture in Verloren. Other than video games, I do get a bunch of inspiration from artist I follow, comics/manga, and anime though if I mention all of them it would just lead me to ramble away, but will say Pandora Hearts and Death Parade are two series I really love and both. I just enjoy series that shows character interaction and bonds, because that's a main part in Verloren. I really just get inspire by character development if you couldn't tell..... ^^;

Have you come across any challenges during development? How did you overcome or work around them? *Choko: Besides the 2018 thing I mention earlier. There has been tiny bits of challenges, like with creating maps, since it takes me a while to get into the mood to make them, but wouldn't really call it a challenge. Since all the time I just have to take time away from the map to gain motivation to make them. Another challenge I guess would be writing cut scenes which I love, though it's a whole process of making sure the characters aren't just rambling or going off-topic since when I write I tend to get in character, as in voice act the lines or try to think how they would. Though the process isn't really a bad challenge since it just takes a while until I get it right.

Have any aspects of your project changed over time? How does your current project differ from your initial concept? *Choko: There's been soooooo many changes to this game. The biggest change I would say is the characters, they had a lot of design changes and personality/motivation changes. But other than that, I would say the mood of the game change a lot, also how scenes play it, originally it just felt like stuff happen to happen. Now it makes a lot more sense and isn't just some random thing I added. Sadly I can't list everything that change because that's spoilers but trust me everything change for the better.

What was your team like at the beginning? How did people join the team? If you don’t have a team, do you wish you had one or do you prefer working alone? *Choko: At the beginning there wasn't a team, since I wanted to do everything solo. I mostly enjoy doing art, writing, and eventing the game. Though currently now there is a team, mostly with people I know, it's more so just a critique/feedback team + voice actors. Currently there are only two VAs since I didn't want to focus on voice acting before I had most of the game done, in the far future I may make a post about it. But so far the whole team is more so just a chilling area then anything else and I enjoy all the fun talk that happen there.

What is the best part of developing a game? *Choko: The best part of creating a game is to see the characters you created come to life. I just really enjoy seeing everything come together. Idk I just find it cool that when making a game all starts out as concepts/ ideas and then after days/weeks/months of work it becomes a actually thing you can look at and show others. Most cutscenes in Verloren I get super happy when I finish them up, because I can see them as a real thing rather than a bunch of ideas of "this is what I'm going to do". Also the joke/shitpost memes....they are also the best part of making a game.

Do you find yourself playing other RPG Maker games to see what you can do with the engine, or do you prefer to do your own thing? *Choko: Yep!!! I play a lot of rpg maker games, I really enjoy seeing what other people do. I just find it cool that anyone can pick up the engine and learn how to use it. Also it's a fun way to find inspiration, just seeing other rpg maker games and being like ">:O I didn't know you can do that!!!".

Which character in your game do you relate to the most and why? (Alternatively: Who is your favorite character and why?) *Choko: This question is very hard, mainly because I relate to because a lot of characters in the game I relate to in tiny levels. For my favorite character it's Vladimir....I do like every other character in game. Chris is my second favorite I have to say (kinda a lie since ties with another character) but Vladimir number one, he's just soo much fun to write. He's maybe the one character who has a lot of scenes which gets a huge smile from me.

Looking back now, is there anything that regret/wish you had done differently? *Choko: Not really, mainly since I was lucky to be able to take a huge hiatus which help me in 2019 to rework everything. So every problem I had with the game I fixed.

Do you plan to explore the game’s universe and characters further in subsequent projects, or leave it as-is? *Choko: I would just leave the game alone after I finish Verloren, it's a game that doesn't need any follow ups because I feel it would just take away from the impact when you get to the end. There really isn't anything I would need to explore, since Verloren is meant to be a single game and that's it.

What do you most look forward to upon finishing the game? *Choko: I look forward seeing how people react to the full game, I am low key shock on how people are reacting towards the demo and all the tiny predictions/speculations. Also the warm positive feedback towards Vladimir is shocking, since I thought no one would like him because of all those jokes/puns. I hope the final game has the same positive reaction, also that other characters get a warm positive feedback towards them.

Was there something you were afraid of concerning the development or the release of your game? *Choko: The only thing that worries me is that if I mess up and people can't understand reasons why x character did that. Since one of the main things with Verloren is that characters have their own way if viewing stuff. Like morality is pretty gray because I don't want to write a black and white story.

Do you have any advice for upcoming devs? *Choko: Main advice I'll give out is placeholders are your friend. Don't spend time making assets for a system you didn't test and you test it and it doesn't work. Just have a placeholder graphic which helps you test it and when it's done you can always slap on the asset. Following up with this, create a debug room. It would come in handy to test systems/ events than having to play through your game to test it and learn you need to fix it.

Question from last month's featured dev @cheesesteak-horror: Do you have creative processes you practice before starting development? *Choko: No, not really. I often just jump right into development and go from there. Most of my practice come from when I work on small stuff or just when I'm bored I often just mess around with things.

We mods would like to thank Choko for agreeing to our interview! We believe that featuring the developer and their creative process is just as important as featuring the final product. Hopefully this Q&A segment has been an entertaining and insightful experience for everyone involved!

Remember to check out Verloren if you haven’t already! See you next month! 

- Mods Gold & Platinum

[porcupine-girl]

Untamed Fic Rec List

Look, most of these are reasonably popular fics already, so if you’ve been in this fandom for a couple months you’ve likely read them. Which is not how I normally do rec lists, but I’m new enough to Untamed that I’m still reading through all the fics by authors I know from other fandoms plus ones that have been personally recced to me, so I haven’t made it into the deep dive of underappreciated fics that I normally like to rec.

It doesn’t help that one of these recs is 445K, so for like two weeks straight it was basically all I was reading.

BUT if, like me, you are rather new to this fandom and its fics, here are some good ones:

The Same Moon Shines Series by sami

This is the 445K behemoth, made up of 23 works, and is technically made up of three interrelated series. The first fic, which establishes the whole universe/multiverse, is 139K on its own. Basically, decades into the canon future, WWX invents time travel.

He goes back to being born, but is reborn with all his memories intact. And he fixes, like, fucking everything and it’s so, so fucking satisfying. Everything’s not perfect though - for example, he like lowkey (highkey?) traumatizes LXC by showing him his previous life via empathy and that has some consequences eventually. Featuring ace poly JC/LXC/WQ triad.

Then in a cracky subseries, appropriately called “ridiculous future bullshit”, we assume that the main six from this universe (WWX, LWJ, JC, WQ, LXC, JYL, & Lan Sizhui) all achieve immortality and find out what they’re up to in the modern day, where they’re revered in the Five Nations (this does a great job of staying in the canon world instead of ours) but of course white Western assholes do things like try and make a disney movie called Hanguang-Jun and the Yiling Patriarch where they marry LWJ off to a girl.

And then in a third subseries, which so far has only one WIP fic, we go back to the canon universe, find out that JC and LWJ were stuck there watching WWX disappear in his time machine array (so WWX actually split off into another universe, he didn’t rewind his own), and so they get into the array having no idea what it will do but wanting to chase down the asshole they love. And so a third universe is born, where they are both born with their memories but WWX is not. I absolutely love seeing how different their priorities are from WWX’s in terms of what they want to change in their new life.

(Also: This is technically a MDZS fic that usually goes with novel canon over show canon if there’s a discrepancy, so if like me you haven’t read the whole novel you might need to look up some plot points now and then.)

The Vermillion Ribbon by @unforth

AU where Wei WuXian was taken in by Wen Qing and Wen Ning’s parents instead of the Jiangs. LWJ (who is the POV character) is a super DUPER dick to him at first, like even moreso than in canon, but the speed with which he regrets his choices is breathtaking and extremely satisfying.

LWJ is a VERY unreliable narrator. He has absolutely no idea what is going on with himself or anyone else at any point in time. Eventually he at least becomes self-aware of this fact, and can at least go wait am I missing something? I think I’m missing several somethings but fuck if I know what. Wei WuXian not understanding this about him leads to some miscommunication, because WWX doesn’t get that LWJ needs absolutely everything spelled out to him in single-syllable words with crayon drawings and y’know, WWX isn’t going to be straightforward anytime he can pretend he’s TOTALLY FINE :D :D :D instead.

LWJ’s friendship with NHS is magical, and NHS in general gets 810% more opportunity to scheme and plot pre-time-of-NMJ’s-canonical-death than in canon and is honestly living his best life. It’s also valuable for LWJ to have a scheming friend because, aside from realizing he misjudged WWX, this is how he starts to figure out that he’s a dumbass who has no idea what is going on ever. But he can count on NHS to always be ten steps ahead, so it’s okay.

(ETA: I’m sorry, I made unforth feel like maybe LWJ was too dense, and no, he’s very much not stupid in general. Like, honestly the fact that he becomes so self-aware of the things he’s bad at, and does things like trust NHS to always understand the stuff he’s missing, makes him come off as very intelligent. It’s just in the specific realm of understanding anything that people say or do that isn’t 100% honest and straightforward that he is just entirely hopeless in a rather relatable way, and like I said, WWX’s go-to is hiding any and all pain so that is a bad combo.)

The Fire Lapping Up the Creek by notevenyou

This diverges from canon when WWX is on his way to Jin Ling’s one month celebration, but doesn’t bring Wen Ning along. So when Jin Zixun attacks it goes very poorly for him, poorly enough that Jin Zixuan thinks he’s dead and it’s reported back at Carp Tower as such. Sending LWJ into a dissociative state. He manages to break through to reality just long enough to find out that Jin Zixuan took WWX’s body back to the burial mounds and left it with Wen Qing, and to get on his sword and go directly there. Thankfully, it turns out that WWX is not dead, but only just barely so.

So LWJ stays there, because now that he spent some amount of time (he isn’t really sure if it was like five minutes or two hours, because dissociation) thinking WWX was dead he now knows that he should never, ever be anywhere but with WWX.

Honestly, it almost feels like a spoiler to say WWX doesn’t die, but there’s no major character death warning while there IS one for graphic violence so it’s not a chose not to warn either, so that’s technically not a spoiler. But things are touch-and-go for him for a very, very long time. And the romance is a slow burn with pining galore. And you get to see LWJ teaching A-Yuan to play the guqin, so like imagine being WWX and you wake up from almost dying to see that going on in your cave.

Velle: to will, to wish by @aerlalaith

This one is actually canon-compliant, and as it’s both quite a bit shorter and more straightforward, plot-wise, than the others, my writeup will be short but that doesn’t mean I loved it any less. Basically, it’s the process of LWJ deciding to adopt A-Yuan in the aftermath of WWX’s death. It starts just after he’s been beaten for turning against the other cultivators, and at first it’s mostly his grief and both physical and emotional pain. A-Yuan starts slipping in to visit him. and LWJ isn’t sure if he’s really okay with that at first.

Of course he becomes very okay with it, but the Lan elders and Lan Qiren and all aren’t just going to be like “ok sure you can barely walk you should def adopt a four-year-old of unclear origins who may or may not have something to do with your demonic dead boyfriend and the evil people he helped, that’s cool,” so it’s not that simple.

There’s a followup fic where, years later, LWJ chooses the courtesy name Sizhui and Xichen gives him shit for it.

save a sword, ride a socialist by sysrae / @fozmeadows

Continuing on my grand tour of Untamed fics by my fave writers from other fandoms, I get to enjoy having overlapped with foz on a third straight fandom which is just fabulous. I totally thought I wasn’t gonna read AUs and then this asshole comes along and writes AUs, which is not playing fair.

I especially love this because it’s modern day but much like ridiculous future bullshit it’s modern day in (more or less) a canonish world, not our world. So like, they fly on swords, but not long distances because it’s easier to take a train or drive rather than use up all that spiritual energy.

Lan Qiren and Jin Guangshan miss the old ways, though, and they think the best ancient tradition to bring back is arranged marriage! Because that will go over well with today’s youth. They try to make LWJ marry Mianmian but he’s like “um I’m gay” and LQ throws a hissy fit about that so Jin Zixuan (who is LWJ’s bestie and is fucking hilarious) hatches a plot for LWJ to cause LQ to stroke out by bringing WWX to Lan Xichen’s birthday party as his fake date.

But when LWJ and WWX meet up to talk this over, LWJ is instantly fucked because WWX has a small child with him and it turns out that this small child is the orphan he adopted. He doesn’t notice he’s fucked until a few days later, though, when WWX comes over for “kissing practice” and they fuck and he calls Jin Zixuan all “I think I caught a feel, what do?” and JZX is like idk, you’re a moron, don’t ask me to clean up your moron messes. And the next day LWJ buys a car seat.

Lan Wangji heard about Jack 110% Zimmermann and said “challenge accepted,” is what I’m saying here. And now I’ve written as much about this 33k fic as I did about the 445k, so I’ll shut up before I just recount the entire plot.

[bazypitchandsimonsnow]

Mages Don’t Meddle

Rating: M

Genre: Angst/Mild Fluff

Word count: 16091

Summary: In a world where magic users must fear each other, Baz Pitch, a British born hex hiding in the 19th century American southwest, is just trying to stay alive. But when he meets a fellow British hex, his world is turned upside down in the most awful, amazing ways possible. PLEASE READ FIRST AUTHOR'S NOTE!!!!

Read on AO3

AN: Alright some of you may know that my favourite book series of all time is The Hexslinger Series by Gemma Files. It’s a gory but brilliant horror/dark fantasy weird western trilogy about gay cowboy wizards fighting Aztec gods. (It's also where my AO3 username comes from). I've been writing this AU on and off for like two years now lol. So when I saw this event, I saw it as motivation to finally finish it. And I did! Idk how many people are gonna like this, considering the obscurity of the books. The mythos is a bit complicated so here are the basic rules of the Hexslinger world:

1. Magic users exist, called "hexes" or "hexslingers” by most English speakers. They’re commonly known of and feared by some humans because of their immense, usually unstable power. Their magic is usually called "hexation" and a common descriptor for anything to do with them is "hexacious." Being a hex can either be passed down from parent to child or appears randomly. Most are children of a hex man and a human woman as pregnancy for a hex woman can be very risky to mother and child, but it's still possible.

2. Hexes aren’t usually born having magic. Their powers manifest at some point later in their lives except in very rare circumstances. For women it usually appears after their first period, while for men it’s usually after some sort of grievous bodily harm, e.g getting hanged or beaten. Before manifestation, some hexes show no sign of magic at all, while others have hints like perfect aim or weirdly good luck. It depends on the person and their power level.

3. Hex magic varies between people based on personality, culture, family history, and power level/type. For example, an experienced Chinese born hex with refined power will have a very different kind of magic than a newly manifested American born hex with more chaotic power. (That’s literally just from the original books lol.) Even hexes similar in multiple aspects can be completely different in the way their magic is expressed.

4. The only universal trait between hexes is that they all have the urge to feed off each other’s magic. They’re like magic vampires (wink wink). If they get too close to each other, they have the immediate urge to absorb the other's power and kill them. It’s completely instinctual and very hard to resist. Hence why hexes can’t be around each other. Or, to use the common phrase from the universe, “mages don’t meddle.”Okay that's the basics. There's A LOT of other stuff but I think that's all you need to know for this fic imo.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: So there's some period typical racism scattered around due Baz being brown in the 19th century American south. It's not too harsh imo but I still want to warn people. I hope I handled it alright, considering I'm a white af Canadian Irish-Jew, but if I didn't I'm very sorry. There's also a bit of period typical homophobia at the start. The closest I get to slurs is the use of "red" and "Indian" in reference to Indigenous people, "queer" in a negative context, references to sand because Baz says he's Egyptian, and Baz being called "darker folk." I felt it would be disingenuous to not include bigotry of the past and pretend things would be all okay for a queer POC like Baz. Especially since Hexslinger itself has major themes of homophobia, racism, and not being accepted in the majority of society. A few mentions of suicide, self harm, and torture too in relation to hex powers emerging too, which is also major in Hexslinger. The series itself is pretty brutal and dirty with lots of bigotry, blood, guts, and death. So those elements have gotten in here. There is some flesh burning stuff but I don't think it's that graphic, feels pretty typical for Carry On imo. Hopefully this all works well/makes sense.

As always, big thanks to Raegan of @carryonmylovelies Now with that all out of the way, enjoy!

———————————————

I gingerly take a sip of my whiskey. It's a horrible rotgut shite, but there’s worse stuff out in the wild west. This Slipfoot Joe’s seems to be okay by my now very, very low standards for this area.

“Well well, if it ain’t a pretty red boy,” the man behind me croons. His voice makes evey inch of my skin crawl.

I let out a deep sigh. I’ve been expecting this, but I’m still not pleased. “Piss off, arsehole.”

“Oh! Didn’t know Indians could sound English!”

“I’m British Egyptian, you twit.”

The man leans on the bar, smiling wide. It’s easier to count the few teeth he has than guess how many he’s lost. “What brings your sandy ass to our great country?”

The Call. The unending Call that signals all of us to come here.

I take another long sip. “Your gorgeous face, obviously. How much do you charge? I’ve heard American men are cheaper here than in England.”

The man reels back scowling. “You think I’m some queer?!”

“Well, I assumed so. Considering you were just flirting with me, a man.”

He snarls, whipping out his pathetic little pistol. The barrel shakes nonstop. “You got some nerve, boy!”

I finish the whiskey and delicately place the glass rim first on the filthy bar. “And you’re a racist bastard. You don’t see me getting all pissy.”

The gunshot happens in slow motion for me. I don’t even need to turn. I simply hold one hand in front of me and let my magic pour from me like a dragon’s breath. It curls out in front of me, a circle of blacks and charcoal greys and burning scarlets. Every hex’s magic is different. Mine is like a constant roaring fire, always threatening to consume me.

The bullet hits the shield with a tinny clink. Racist Man is frozen with wide, terrified eyes. I turn to him, orange and red reflecting in my grey eyes.

“You- You’re... a hex?!” He splutters.

“Thought that was pretty bloody obvious. Now go, before I drink your blood.”

Racist Man and his buddy scamper out of the tavern. I let the force field dissipate, crackling and popping in the air like a dying campfire. Joe, the bartender and eponymous Slipfoot, sighs as he cleans another glass.

“You know,” Joe says, “I’ve met other hexes. They’re stupid reckless assholes but they ain’t ever drank blood. Just suck each other’s magic.”

I chuckle. “Well they don’t know that, do they?”

“No, lucky for you. What’s a Brit like you even doin’ here anyway?”

My mouth presses into a thin line. I envy him. He can't hear The Call from that damned Hex City. I heard it all the way in Washington, and before I knew it I was on a train southeast. The only reason I haven’t actually gone to the horrid place is sheer stubbornness.

“I’m a hex. Where else would I be going?”

Joe freezes. He stares at me with more concern than fear. “I’d be careful, son. Those hexes I met? One of them was Reverend Rook himself. He’s beyond bad news, ‘specially with that heathen goddess by his side.”

“I know.” I trace my finger on the old wood, trying to focus on that instead of the ringing in my head. “But what choice do I have?”

———————————————

1867, two years after America’s bloody civil war, and it seems they’re about to be plunged into a new one. Except it won’t be slavery versus abolition this time, but humans versus magic. 

The news has spread like wildfire. In the final days of the war, a confederate soldier and unofficial chaplain named “Reverend” Asher Rook was sentenced to hang for abandoning his regiment. But he survived, and the suffering of the ordeal caused his hex powers to emerge. Rumour has it one Bible verse from his lips can level an entire town. Rook decided to use his new powers to steal and murder his way through the west, aided by his ruthless gunslinging lieutenant (and rumoured lover) Chess Pargeter.

He should’ve been just another hex outlaw for those American Pinkertons to take down. But somehow, a mere month ago, Rook made a pact with an Aztec goddess. And together they’ve created New Azteclan, or Hex City to the common man. According to the magical homing signal I hear, that every hex hears, it’s a place where hexes can lose their insatiable urge to feed off each other’s magic. We’ll no longer have to be loners by nature, picked off one by one by humanity. We could be together. We could be safe.

But at what cost? Nothing in life comes without a cost. I know that too well. My magic cost me my home, my family, and a good part of my sanity. I’d do anything to not be a danger to others anymore. And the possibility is right there. All I need to do is go further south and cross the border into Mexico to reach Hex City. But once I do that, there’s no going back. The temptation of the Call will be too strong. And whatever price The Reverend wants, he’ll get it from me.

I sit at the fire, chewing on some absolutely horrific jerky. I’m trying to focus on the flames instead of the voice in my head. I’m not sure whose it is. Maybe Rook’s, maybe his witch goddess’. It doesn’t have a discernible tone, just sort of an indistinct everyman sound, or a thousand voices speaking the same thing. Either way, it’s very annoying.

Come, it whispers. Come seek out Ixchel, the Mother of Hanged Men. Come stand before Her priest-king, to offer up your service. Come to build the First City of the Sixth World- the world of wonder, the world of power. Come, and join New Azteclan.

“Shut up, shut up, shut up!” I shout into emptiness, slamming the side of my head with my fist.

“I haven’t said anything yet,” someone replies weakly.

I bolt up. My magic roars to life inside me, a fireball forming in the palm of my hand. “Who said that?!”

The man slowly steps out of the darkness. He must be no older than myself, with his young, round freckled face. He has curly bronze hair, capped by an old second hand cowboy hat. His brown leather coat, plaid shirt, riding boots, and jeans are all filthy with desert dirt. A horse with saddle bags stands behind him. His blue eyes are wide and nervous. I notice a smell on him. Like green fire and smoke, with a strong scent of something brown and sweet. He smells like something I would gladly eat.

He’s a hex.

“Don’t you dare come any closer, you prick,” I say between gritted teeth. “I won’t hesitate to burn you to a crisp.”

The other boy shakes his head. “I’m not here to drain you. I...I just wanted to ask for some help.” He sounds British like me, but more rough and nervous, stumbling over his words.

“Yeah, right. Do I look that gullible? ‘Mages don’t meddle.’ We’d all drain each other dry if we were given the chance.”

He sighs heavily. “Well, of course I want to by instinct, but I’m not going to. I was just wondering if you had any food. All of mine got stolen by some angry humans.”

I consider just turning him away, or draining his magic and leaving his dried out corpse for the vultures. But he looks so desperate. How long has this young man been out here alone? My aunt had always warned me to be wary of all other hexes. We’re a bloodthirsty species, Basil. Never trust another hex, ever. Not even me. But I’m not my aunt.

I sit down again. “Fine. You can have some jerky. Just don’t come too close alright? I’d like to keep my magic and soul where they are, please.”

The man smiles (he has a nice smile) and sits opposite me at the fire. I throw a bag of jerky, and he catches in one hand. He shoves it in his mouth like a ravenous animal.

“So,” I say, “what’s your name?”

“Simon Snow,” he rep;ies, mouth still half full. “Your’s?”

“Baz Pitch.” Simon chuckles a bit, and I frown. “What’s so funny?

“Well, Baz Pitch is a pretty ridiculous name.”

“No more ridiculous than Simon Snow,” I snap. “What, were you named by circus performers?”

“Maybe. Not sure, actually.” Snow looks at the fire, but it feels like he’s looking right through it, his gaze very far away.

“Why’s that?”

Simon shakes his head. “Hey, are you going to Hex City?”

I huff, blowing some loose, dirty hair out of my eyes. I’m too tired to stop him from changing the subject. “I don’t know. Are you?

He shrugs. “Maybe. So far I am. The stories and Call do make it sound so wonderful.”

I scoff loudly. “Of course they do. Rook wants people to come. Then we’ll get there and be sacrificed to his bloodthirsty goddess. That’s probably what happened to Pargeter. No one’s heard from him lately, according to the locals.”

“But we’ll lose the hunger! What if the Reverend just wants us to be safe? Y’know, as a kindness to his own people.”

“No one does anything out of kindness, Snow. Least of all hexes.”

“You gave me food out of kindness, didn’t you?”

I glare at him over the flames. He shrugs with a faint smile. Fuck. He has a really nice smile.

 “I’m going to sleep,” I mutter. “But I’m putting a shield around me. Touch it and you’ll be burned alive. So don’t get any ideas about taking my magic.”

Simon throws his hands up in innocence. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

I lay down on my pallet, throwing up my force field. The crackle and hiss of magic around me distracts from the beautiful mage no more than seven feet from me. Whom I’m not sure I want to kiss or kill. Maybe both.

———————————————

I wake when the sun's centre in the sky. I’m breathing, so this Simon Snow hasn’t drained me dry. That’s good, I guess. 

I sit up bleary eyed. Snow is passed out on his own cot, drooling profusely with his mouth wide open (mouth breather). He’s put up his own shield, of course, (at least he’s somewhat sensible). It sort of looks like an electrical explosion, white bolts constantly combusting around him in bubble form. He smells so powerful. It’s taking all of my willpower to not hurt him. To not submit to my basic hex desires.

I take my sweet time to pack my things and douse the fire pit, secretly hoping Simon will wake up before I run out of excuses. Luckily, with a very loud snort, Snow bolts upwards. There’s terror in his eyes, and his breath is uneven and shallow. I know that look. I’m no stranger to nightmares myself.

“A good morning to you, Snow,” I say.

Simon lets out a long breath, waving a hand to dissolve his shield. “You didn’t kill me.”

“And you didn’t kill me. What a miracle.”

“I’ll say. Are you leaving?”

“Obviously.”

“Where to?”

I sigh heavily. “Well, my map says, there’s a town southeast from here. I haven’t been there before but it probably isn’t too bad. I was going to hide there for at least a bit.”

Simon picks at his nail beds, even though they’re already ragged and bloody. “Can I...can I come with you? I haven’t been around anyone in so long, y’know. It’d be nice to have someone to talk to”

I look at him with the most neutral gaze I can muster. “Are you going to kill me?”

He shrugs. “Haven’t killed you yet, have I?”

“There’s still time.”

Simon stands up, brushing the dust off his pants. “Alright, then I’ll make myself very clear. Baz, I’m not going to kill you. I’m not going to fight you at all, alright?”

I must admit that I’ve been lonely these few months in the desert. Hell, I’ve been lonely for the past few years. I’ve actually missed the company of others. But it’s not like humans or hexes want to be around me. Except for this one, it seems. Maybe this wouldn’t be too bad. If we don’t kill each other first that is.

“Alright, fine. Just don’t try anything or I’ll burn you from the inside out.”

Simon keeps smiling. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

We mount our horses and ride off. I try to keep my eyes ahead instead of on Snow.

———————————————

“I can’t believe the food here,” Snow says. “It’s so much more spicy than in the North.”

“We are closer to Mexico, Snow,” I reply. I’m trying to figure out our route, while also listening to Snow when he’s more than six feet away. The hunger is manageable from this distance. Mostly.

“Well, yeah, but it’s so insane! Why can’t the north people get some spice from here? It would make their chicken more tolerable. London street food was awful but at least it had some flavour!”

That makes me snort out a laugh no matter how much I try not to. Snow grins at me, and his face is literal sunshine. Why must he be so perfect? It’s not fair. “London street food? You mean fish and chips? Those aren’t half bad, if I’m remembering correctly.”

Snow’s tawny face gets a little pink. He rubs the back of his slightly sunburnt neck. “Y-Yeah, they weren’t too bad. Just...other stuff was terrible...”

“Like what?” It’s not late at night now. I’m less inclined to let his dodging go. Call me crazy, but I’d like to know about the man I’m travelling with.

“Um...” He looks down at his horse’s neck. “I-I lived on the London streets, literally, until I was old enough to work for room and board. Finding anyone who would house a hex though, that was a challenge.”

His laugh is tinny and hollow. My heart, or what dark horrible mass we hexes have in place of one, twists at the words. I wish I was surprised. His story is all too familiar.

“You don’t need to be ashamed,” I say firmly. “We all have our own rough pasts. It’s practically required for hexes, in my eyes.”

Snow doesn’t look up, but his (pretty) plain blue eyes flick over to me. “Really?”

I nod. “Yes, of course. Hexes are usually shunned and harmed. Finding one who hasn’t been in a dire situation is more rare.”

“Have you met a lot of hexes?”

“Some. Mostly, I’ve heard stories. Far too many are like your’s.”

“Is your’s?”

My grip on the reins is so tight my knuckles are going pale. Memories rush through my head no matter how much I want to stop them. The darkness, the pain, the fire, then the stench of burnt human flesh, all capped off by years of trying to survive on my own.

“Unfortunately, ye-”

“What the fuck?!”

Simon’s screech is ungodly in volume and tone. His horse lets out a similarly panicked bray. She bucks up, but can’t get very high with the red vines tangled around her legs.

“Oh fuck,” I hiss. I try to pull back my own horse, but his legs are similarly wrapped up. The vines circle up and around us. I kick and stamp them with all my might. The blood red flowers look like the gaping mouths of monsters.

“What the fuck are these things?!” Snow bellows. He tries to rear his horse back, but nearly throws himself backwards off his saddle instead. “Fucking shite!”

“Don’t do that, Snow, it won’t help!”

“Then what should I do?!” 

“Just stay still!”

Thankfully, Snow does as I say. Not thankfully, I’m not sure what to do. I know that human blood gets rid of the Weeds, but even if I count as human in this regard, you need a relatively large amount of it. So unless I want to pass out, I’ll need to think of something else. But what else can curb evil bloodthirsty Aztec plants?

“Baz!” Snow’s horse pancis the more the weeds wrap around her, which makes Snow panic in turn. He looks at me with desperate wide eyes. “Baz, do something!”

Oh, fuck it. I’ll solve this the way I solve my other problems.

I reach deep within myself, down to the flames that burn in what’s hopefully my soul, or at least what hexes have instead. I grab that power and let it out through my arm. Fire roars to life in the palm of my hand, and I unleash the full force of it on the Weeds. A tidal wave of blackened-red flames engulf the plants.

“Jesus Christ!” Simon shouts. The plants don’t burn per se, I’m not sure they even can. But they still shrink away from us. I keep pushing more magic out until they Weeds a good distance away. 

“Run,” I say, “now!”

Snow and I both wrench our horses 180 degrees and run like the wind. We ride fast and far with no destination, but we keep each other in sight. Only when my pulse is no longer hammering in my ears do I start to slow down. Snow follows, and eventually we stop near a large tree. All four of us are breathing hard.

“Bloody hell,” Snow says. “W-What the fuck were those?”

“Red Plague Weeds,” I reply, dismounting my horse. “They’ve been popping up all around here. No one knows where they come from, but we’re all pretty sure they have something to do with Rook and his witch goddess. Just like every other bizarre thing nowadays.”

“How come I haven’t seen them before in the towns?”

“Because the way to get rid of the Weeds permanently is blood, Snow.”

Snow’s eyes go wide with horror. “Blood? Any blood?”

I sadly shake my head. “No, only fresh human blood. I’ve heard a bowl full collected from the townsfolk is good enough. I don’t even know if hex blood counts. No one’s ever tried, as far as I know. We’re extremely lucky we got away.”

“So I gathered,” Snow sighs. “Now what? We’ve gone a good way backwards now, if I had to guess.”

“Agreed. We’ll have to try and move around the Weeds. If we’re lucky, the town will still be reachable.”

“No one has ever called hexes lucky.”

We both laugh a little. Sometimes laughter is the only way to deal with our horrible existences. I pull the waterskin out of my bag and take a deep, long drink. “Let’s stay here for a moment, though. That blast took a lot out of me.”

“Y-Yeah, that makes sense. Um, I’ll just...”

He turns his horse to the side, trotting away from me. My stomach drops out. Where’s he going? Am I going to be alone again? I’ve only been with Snow for one day. That’s nothing compared to the last two years I’ve been on my own. But now I can’t imagine going back to that crushing, never ending loneliness.

“Heading out, Snow?” I keep my tone neutral, holding back the desperate tremor that threatens to bleed out. “Suppose I’ll see you around, then.”

Snow whips his head around. If I were a more hopeful person, I’d say he looks even more panicked than when we were tangled in the Weeds. “W-What? No, I was just gonna go a little further away...”

“Do I smell that bad?” I probably do. Hygiene is not a priority in these parts.

“No! The opposite, actually...” Snow looks to the side, a little red on his face. “You used a lot of magic before. I can still smell some of it. I, uh, want to keep my promise...”

Oh. Right. I should count myself lucky that he didn’t drain me the minute we stopped. “Yes, yes, of course, makes perfect sense.”

“Unless...you want me to go...”

I gulp down the massive lump in my throat. “Do you want to go, Snow?”

Snow scratches his neck. He points his thumb to the side. “I’ll be waiting over there, until we’ve both cooled down. Alright?”

I would never admit how much relief that brings me. “Alright. We’ll set off again in an hour or so.”

“Okay.” Snow trots over to a good distance away. His brown, sweet smell still lingers in the air, but it fades just enough for me to rest properly. I sit back against the tree, drinking a good portion of my waterskin. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Snow doing the same. I try to not watch him. But it’s very, very hard.

———————————————

Nightfall hits before we reach the town. Snow can’t ride very fast, and I’m still more than a bit drained. So once again, I have to sit opposite the man who will most likely kill me soon.

He fidgets endlessly, picking at his nails and sleeve. It’s infuriating. He gnaws on the jerky like a crazed cat or something. I huff and shake my head. Snow looks up at me.

“What?” he says through a bite.

“Do you ever stop moving? We’ve been sitting here for over an hour and there hasn’t been a single moment of stillness from you.”

Snow snorts. “I don’t see how that affects you.”

“It’s annoying.”

He snorts again, but there’s a small smile now too. “Maybe this is the real reason hexes don’t interact. We're all arseholes.”

“That is hardly a hex thing, Snow. I’ve known humans and hexes alike that I can’t tolerate.”

“Am I one of them?

I hope my face doesn’t flush too hard. “You’re still here, aren’t you?”

He chuckles quietly and goes back to eating his jerky, with far less fidgeting this time thankfully. We sit in silence for a while. I keep sneaking looks at him, then tearing my gaze away every time. The firelight makes Snow’s tawny skin almost glow and his bronze hair sparkle gold. He’s a constellation of moles and freckles. He’s a gorgeous mess. Just looking at him, I can almost forget that we’re supposed to be enemies.

“What part of England are you from anyway?” Snow asks through a mouthful of dried out meat.

“Hampshire. Though if you asked the people here, they’d say I’m from Buckingham bloody Palace.”

Snow throws his head back laughing. It’s a ridiculous, wonderful sound. “Damn true! I’ve lived on the streets of London for the past ten years and an American asked me if I’m related to the bloody queen! They have no idea about accent differences. They think every Brit is royalty.”

I freeze. Snow’s laughs slowly subside. He must notice the utter panic in my eyes. “You lived on the streets of London for a decade? That long?”

He pulls in, curling his thin body in on itself. This Simon is a hex like me, a terrifying being filled with unimaginable power, yet right now, he looks so...small. “Well, not the whole time. It’s been on and off. I found some places to live for a bit but they never lasted. Thank God for magic. Or thank the Devil, if the humans are right about us.”

He chuckles nervously. I shift uncomfortably in my spot, trying to hide the way his laugh makes me face heat up even more. “I guess so. It’s taken care of me since-”

There’s a crack. It’s small, far off, almost indistinguishable from the regular sounds of the desert, but it’s there. My aunt always said I have the ears of a bat. I swing my head around.

“What is it?” Snow says.

“Hush! I think I heard something.”

Slowly, I stand up, crouched over with my fists clenched. My magic sizzles and sparks inside me, begging to be used. I see Snow stand too at the edge of my vision.

“Die hex scum!”

The man launches himself out of the darkness, jagged knife in hand. He knocks me flat down to the ground. All the breath is forced out of me as my back hits the sand.

“Fuck!” I wheeze.

I push at him with both arms, thankfully keeping my pretty face out of his slashing range. He writhes and struggles like a rabid wolf. His dirty crazed smile, missing most of his teeth, looms over me. I recognise him.

“You,” I growl. “Did you really follow me all the way here from Slipfoot’s, you pig?!”

“Die!” He says that like it means absolutely anything, like I haven’t heard it a hundred times before.

Racist Man has no technique. He just screeches and flails with his knife. Aunt Fiona’s words come to my mind immediately. “Every self respecting hex needs to know how to defend himself, Basil.” She said just before pinning me to the ground in one move. I hook my leg around his and flip him onto his back. He gasps and lets out a rattling cough. I hover over him, knee on his chest, pinning his knife hand to the ground.

“You don’t deserve to live, you sand demon.” He spits at me, splashing against my cheek. I flick it off with ease.

“Such an original opinion.” I feel the fire blazing in my gut, threatening to consume myself and everything around me. “I should scorch off all your skin.”

“Course you would. All you hexes, just filthy murderers. No wonder y’all are fleeing to Rook’s heathen paradise. Your kind don’t belong around civilized folks.”

I growl again. First he despises my skin colour, then he thinks he knows anything about hexation. This bastard, so stupid and ignorant. We’re only monsters because we have to be. Because men like him come at us with knives and guns and nooses. There’s no holding the fire back. My hand heats up around his wrist. He screeches as his skin sizzles under my fingers. He drops the knife, but I don't stop. All my rage pushes out through my hand and onto his increasingly scorched skin.

“Get off me!”

I turn to see Simon, struggling against another man. His fingers spark and sputter uselessly as he pounds against the guy with a hand around his throat.

“Better save your man over there,” Racist Man hisses.

I give him one last good death stare. I see him shiver just slightly. At least he has some good sense. “Run fast and far. If you come near us again, so help me God I’ll melt through your entire brain.”

The look of terror in his eyes is enough of an answer. I jump off him and run towards Snow.

“Oi! Off him, now!” I roar.

The other man turns to look at me. He has the same crazed look as his friend. “Or what, you piece of devil shit?!”

“Or this.”

I turn to the fire. With only one hand outstretched, my magic wraps around it, and pushes my power into the very core. The flames shoot nine feet upwards, illuminating the vast dark in blinding light. I turn back to the terrified human. With one swing of my arm, the pillar slams into him. He’s sent flying in a shower of flames and skids on the ground, tossing up a cloud of dustin his wake. I start to march towards him. But Snow throws up his arm to stop me.

“Let me,” he growls.

The tone of his voice stops me in my tracks. Simon stomps towards him, his entire hand now covered in tiny sparks like fireworks. His assaulter sits up, panting heavily.

“You better run now,” Snow says.

He sneers. “Don’t tell me-”

“GO!”

Snow’s magic explodes like a fucking bomb. It’s a bolt of violent and powerful energy that hits the assailant square in the chest. He flies back even farther. I stumble from the sheer force of it. The magic disperses as quickly as it appeared. Snow is panting, bronze curls still staticy with stray sparks. The human scrambles and runs away into the darkness.

We’re left there, breathing hard in the darkness, the embers of the now dead fire our only light. Simon tries to pull out the crackling electricity still clinging to his hair. It curls around his fingers and won’t dissipate no matter how much he shakes his hand out. Finally, I find my voice again.

“That was...”

“Awful?” Snow mumbles. “Yeah, I know. Half the time my magic doesn’t work, the other half it explodes. Pretty fucking annoying.”

I turn to look at him properly, still trying to dust off the little sparks. “No, it was incredible. I’ve never seen magic that powerful, or beautiful.”

Oh fuck, why did I say that? I’m going to explode myself any second. Simon freezes, then turns to me. His lovely plain eyes are soft. Half of his mouth pulls up into a smile. My pulse is pounding in my ears. “N-No one’s ever called it beautiful before. And...no one’s tried to save me either.”

He starts to reach out to me with his spark kissed digits. I see the little bolts pulling towards me like I’m a magnet. My own magic flares to surface, reaching back towards him. Tiny flames from my fingers curl around the lightning. And a part of me, that horrible instinctual part, desperately wants to grab his hand and add his beautiful, terrifying energy to my own until his body is nothing but an empty husk.

I take a large step away, hands behind my back. Simon does the same. His eyes are wide with terror now. We both know how close we came to giving into temptation.

“We should go to bed,” I mutter.

Snow nods furiously. I speed walk to my side of the dead fire. We both lay down and pull the blankets to our reddening ears. The only sound for ages is the desert wind whistling through the cacti. Until Snow decides to speak up again, God help me.

“Baz?”

“What, Snow?” I snap. I can’t talk to him anymore, it’s too damn painful.

“Have...Have you ever actually fully drained anyone?”

Oh. I wasn’t expecting that. The question hits me in my heart. All that comes to mind is my aunt’s face as I saw her for the first time in weeks. Her happiness turned to utter horror in seconds. The memory still aches deep inside me. I can almost feel that horrible hunger when I first manifested. I squeeze my eyes shut and take a deep breath. “No. But I’ve come close. You?”

Snow pauses too. I can hear his shaky breathing clearly. “I had a hex friend back in London. Penelope. She was really good at magic, like you, so she tried to help me. We could only see each other for an hour a day for safety’s sake, and it worked for awhile. But one time, my magic got so out of control that I came this close to draining her.” He makes a loud sniffing noise. I hate imagining the tears I know are rolling down his face. “She told me it wasn’t my fault but I didn’t care. I didn’t want to hurt her. Next day I got on a boat to America. That was almost a year ago. I’ve been alone ever since, and it’s awful.”

“Is that why you want to go to Hex City?”

“Yeah. I mean, I just want to be able to have some choice, you know? Not make choices because of this power I never asked for. Don’t you feel like that?”

I think about my mother, who lost her life because of what we are. Or my six weeks of torture by that madman. Or how I had to run away from my family in fear of what I’d accidentally do to them.

“Yes,” I whisper, closing my eyes, “all the damn time.”

———————————————

We ride leisurely under the blistering sun. The desert has melted into more of a hot, grassy plain. Surprisingly, the climate and terrain actually gets less tortuous the further south you go in this awful state. I’ve only gone this far south once before. The Call somehow gets even stronger here. It threatens to fill every nook and cranny of my brain, but I beat it back. No disgraced Confederate chaplain or Aztec witch woman gets to decide what I do.

Snow is mumbling to himself about it being too hot. My head is whirring with a terrible, awful idea, but it won’t go away. My eyes keep drifting towards his beautiful face, and my mind keeps thinking of his beautiful magic. I got only a taste of the endless, consuming feeling of it, and it was exhilarating. If only he could control it.

I groan. “Snow, stop your horse.”

He looks at me confused, but does as I say. “What is it?”

“Get off. I’m going to help you with your magic.”

His eyes bug out of his skull. “What?! Why?”

“Because as incredible as your magic can be, I’d rather not have you explode when you sleep ten feet away from me.” 

It’s a convincing lie. Honestly, I want him to be able to protect himself. I don’t know exactly how long it will take to get to the south, or what could happen before then. Simon might’ve been killed if I wasn’t there. And I don’t know how long I will be with him.

I swing off my horse and Snow follows. We walk out into the empty plateau. He shuffles his feet nervously, chewing at his nails.

“Stay here,” I say.

I walk out and place my old empty flask on a cactus (it’s rusting anyway). Snow looks at it confused. I gesture to the metal bottle, then put my hands behind my back. “Hit that with a blast but avoid the cactus.

“O-Okay...” I watch his throat as he gulps. God, I want to touch that throat, I want to touch everywhere. But I’ll kill him if I do. It makes me hate my magic even more.

Simon raises his hand and takes aim. Small sparks dance between his fingers. One by one, they begin to increase. A small ball of lightning collects in his palm. Snow curls his fingers in, but they seem to be struggling. The ball starts to grow larger and Snow clenches harder. With little to no warning, a lightning bolt shoots out and hits the side of the flask. A blackened mark is left in its wake, but that’s nothing compared to the cactus. A massive chunk has been blown out of the top. It’s charred remains lay strewn on the gras.

“Fuck,” he groans. “Sorry, I was losing control, I had to let it go. Would’ve been much worse if I didn’t.”

“That’s alright, Snow. You technically did hit the flask.”

Snow scoffs, running a hand through his beautiful, sweaty hair. “Sure, I guess...”

I pluck the flask from the half destroyed desert fauna. Another horrible idea is coming to my mind, and I just might be mad enough to do it. “Maybe you need a greater motivator for staying in control.”

“Huh?”

I place the flask on my hand and hold my arm out to the side. “Hit the flask, but not me.”

Snow goes wide eyed again and inhales sharply like he’s been kicked. “A-Are you serious?! You just saw what I did to that cactus, right?”

“Well, you’re going to have to be accurate, unless you want me to end up like said cactus”

He pulls at his curls anxiously. The tiniest of parks fly off the ends. “I don’t know, Baz. I don’t want to hurt you...”

I try to ignore my rapidly beating heart. It’s been so annoying this past week, trying to get what it can’t have. I just flash a smirk at him. “Well, I believe that you won’t. Care to prove me right?”

A red colour spreads across his face. Part of me hopes that’s not just the sun affecting his pale, freckled complexion. “Alright, I’ll try.”

He rubs his hands together. His skin simmers with magic once again. It smells intoxicatingly good. Snow holds his right hand out, palm flat. The electricity builds on the surface. He keeps his hand clenched, but the energy threatens to spill over his fingers. I resist the urge to run in as fast as I can. I didn’t lie, I do trust him. But living on my own for almost three years has given me quite the self preservation instinct.

Sweat prickles Snow’s brow. He uses his opposite arm to keep the other one steady. “C’mon, Simon,” I whisper. “You can do it.”

The jagged white bolt shoots from his skin, far less formless than the last one. It zigs and zags, but in the end hits the flask straight on. The bottle explodes in a shower of jagged metal. I throw up a makeshift shield just in time. When I look at Snow, he’s flat on his ass, panting hard.

“Holy shit,” he says.

“‘Holy shit’ is right,” I respond with a chuckle.

He looks at me with a wide grin. It shines brighter than the midday sun. “I did it! That’s the most controlled my magic has ever been! Thank you, Baz.”

I nod. “You’re welcome, Snow. My aunt always said danger is a great motivator to learn. Especially when it comes to magic.”

Snow lays down on the grass, panting hard. It seems he’s not going to get up any time soon. “Your aunt, was she the one that taught you about magic?”

I kick at a piece of rusted shrapnel, my back to the resting Snow. “Yes, before it manifested, obviously. She wanted me to be prepared just in case. Her whole side of the family has a history of magic. It only appears every few generations or so. We both drew the short ends of the bloodline straw I guess.”

“You’re lucky with that, y’know. I never had anyone to teach me properly. Penny tried, but we never got far enough to make a difference. When I first got magic, this guy called the Mage offered to help. But it turned out he just wanted to drain me. I killed him by accident when he tried. I really didn’t mean to hurt hum, but he wouldn’t stop...”

I turn to him. There’s far too much pain in his eyes. “You had every right to defend yourself. Don’t feel bad.”

He lifts his head up. His smile is sort of sad, but it’s still gorgeous. “Thanks, Baz.”

I smile back as best I can. “You’re most welcome, Snow.” I place my hands in my pockets, desperately clenching my fists in hopes to keep my emotions at bay. “Unfortunately, I’m out of flasks. But we do have an oversupply of fauna. Want to try and not destroy a cactus this time?”

“Okay.” Snow nods, breathing steadily. “Okay, I’ll try.”

Snow takes his stance across from another unfortunate cactus. I watch him and give advice, but slowly have to back away as Snow’s sweet scent permeates the air. I try not to imagine being close to Snow, not having to fear him, him not having to fear me. Oh, what a life that could be.

———————————————

After another week of dodging the Red Weed, we finally get to somewhere. Covent Gardens, a town I suppose is named after the London borough. It’s sizable enough to have a slightly good inn; as in none of the panels are falling off and the sign is missing only a single letter. That’s practically a palace in these parts. I walk in with gusto, making the shutters rattle, Simon following behind me with his head.

Everyone looks at us. I’m not sure how obvious our hexation is, but I suppose we look enough like trouble. Plus my skin tone isn’t an asset here. Or anywhere, honestly. So I sneer and most turned away.

“They’re afraid of us,” Simon mumbles.

“As they should be,” I reply deadpan. I go straight to the barkeep, a bulky white man with truly horrific mutton chops. “I need two rooms.”

The man crosses his unnaturally large arms. “We don’t serve... people like you.”

I grip the bar lip, nails digging into the half rotted wood. “Like me how? Hexes or brown people?”

He sneers at me. “Neither.”

The fire blazes in my eyes. Wood blackens under my skin. “Now listen here, you stupid bastard, you better rent us a room or-”

“Now, now, Basilton,” a familiar voice says, “no need to be so rude. I’m sure we can come to an agreement.”

“Hello, Nicodemus.”

Nico moves to stand next to me. His suit is cheap, the stitches fraying at the seams. He’s still got that sort of menacing look, but he looks tired too.

“Fancy seeing you here, Pitch. How’s your aunt?” He smiles, showing off his missing eye teeth. It makes me want to punch him in his stupid face.

“Why would you care, Petty? You’re the one who left her after everything she did for you.”

He hangs his head back with a groan. “Still defending your family’s honour, I see. Ain’t my fault I wanted to realise my full potential.”

“What, by getting your teeth pulled out so you could get magic? Even when my aunt warned you what a curse being a hex was? You’re still an arrogant idiot then.”

Nicodemus growls and grabs my wrist. His magic reaches out to clash with my own. It’s slick like oil, wrapping around my fire like a snake. But there’s a roughness to it. A sort of mangy, wild energy that I remember all too well from the hex duel with my aunt. Now, I can smell the acrid tang of it too. It leaves a sour taste in the back of my throat. I’m not surprised his magic is as disgusting as he is.

“Looks like you went through some shit too, Basilton,” he hisses. “You’ve got the same fire as dear old Fi. What, the guilt of letting your mum die finally get to you? Try to end it all? Too bad, you just became the monster she never wanted you to be instead.”

His power gnashes at mine, trying to rip it apart and eat it. But Nicodemus has made a fatal assumption; that he’s more powerful than me. I push back against him hard. The fire rushes through my every vein. I revel in the way Nico’s eyes go wide. My hand shoots up to his throat and I shove him down so hard his back bends against the wooden bar.

“You bastard,” I growl. “After all these years you still don’t know how to keep your bloody mouth shut.” I hold his throat even tighter. His eyes bug out of his skull. “Maybe I should shut it permanently.”

I open the gates within, and his magic begins to pour into me. It’s the world’s greatest adrenaline rush. I’m invincible, powerful, a bloody god. Nico gasps and tries to push me away. But I’m still stronger. He could never stop me.

“Baz!” Snow shouts. “Stop it!”

I turn to him with burning eyes. Everything I see is cloudy, like a smoke screen or rippling water. “Why?!”

“Because,” his voice is desperate, and maybe even caring, “we shouldn’t be the monsters they think we are. Just look at them, Baz!”

I still have enough sense to hear what he says. The patrons cower in fear, eyes wide with terror as they look at me. It’s not an expression anyone wants to be subjected to, or cause. And though I hate him, Nicodemus is right. My mother never wanted me to be this. Another terrible, murderous, evil hex.

With all my strength and good sense, I find the will to let Nicodemus’ neck go. His power rushes back into him with a sputtering gasp. I glare at him as I pull away, fingers still trailing with flames.

“Leave,” I say flatly. “Now.”

Nicodemus runs faster than I’ve ever seen a man run before. I take a few deep breaths. It takes a moment for my magic to balance out. It still yearns for Nicodemus’ power, but I beat it back into submission. I won’t let the hunger control me. Then I walk towards the now terrified barkeep.

“Rooms still not available?” He shakes his head frantically. “Good.” I slap down some American money. “Two rooms, please. Also throw in some whiskey. I need a drink after all that.”

The man picks two keys out of a box, then a bottle and glasses from the shelf. He shoves them both forward on the bar and takes two large steps back. I snatch them up with a tip of my ridiculous cowboy hat.

“Cheers, mate.”

Snow and I take a table in a corner. No one dares to look at us. I pour drinks for both of us and shove his glass to the other side of the table. We’re as far apart as we can be but it’s still risky. My power is still hungry. And Simon still smells delicious. But I won’t hurt him. I can’t.

“So,” Simon says, vowel drawn out, “who was that?”

I throw back the whiskey. It’s sour and burns my throat, but it's better than Slipfoot’s at least. “His name is Nicodemus Petty. He and my aunt Fiona were friends growing up. They bonded over their mutual family history of hexation. But when my aunt and his sister, Ebb, manifested magic as teenagers, Nico was jealous. Fiona and Ebb both tried to tell him that hex magic was far more of a curse than a blessing, but he never listened. He wanted the power. When I was about nine, he finally succeeded in activating his own latent magic.”

“By having two of his teeth ripped out...”

“Mhm. First thing he did was stumble all bloody mouthed to my aunt’s flat.” I clench the glass so hard I nearly break it. “The bastard attacked her by surprise, and tried to steal her magic. He almost killed her, but Fiona got a lucky shot and threw him out the window.” I take a deep breath, trying to stay calm. “As you can guess, I was there. It wasn’t pretty.”

“I can imagine.” He pulls in, picking at his nails nervously. “Um, if you don’t mind me asking...w-what was he talking about? With your mum?”

I pour myself another helpful shot of whiskey. I want to drown my brain in the stuff, honestly. I’ve never talked about my mum, it’s too painful, like ripping out a fingernail. But Snow has shown so much of himself to me. It seems unfair to hide. “My aunt and I aren’t the only hexes in our family.”

His eyes go wide as the revelation hits him, “Your mum is a hex too?”

I nod slowly, then drink the alcohol in one gulp. The warmth tingles in my veins and loosens my tongue. I stare at the glass, watching the light refract through it’s bends. “She was, but my father is human. They loved each other enough to not be scared, I guess. They never meant to have children. I was an accident, but my mother wanted me in spite of the risks. My father said she cried with happiness when she saw I was a boy. She thought if she kept me safe, I’d never become a full hex.” I flick a paint chip off the table with more force than necessary. “Then she died protecting me, doing what she promised.”

“How? Was it another hex?”

“Even worse, scared humans.” 

Snow’s face falls even more. He takes a long sip from his own drink. “So they tried to kill her?”

“They tried to kill all of us. Someone heard of my mother’s hexation, and they rallied a group together to fight our family. It wasn’t a real fight though. The cowards snuck in and tried to stab us. My mother killed almost all of them quickly” My fists clench so tight it hurts. “The last one nearly got me, but my mother stepped in front. He burned to ash just after he stabbed her through the throat.”

“Oh. Not even a hex could come back from that kind of wound...”

“I know,” I say between gritted teeth. “I know that very well, Snow.” I delicately place the glass down with a strained hand. “I...I tried to stop the bleeding but there was nothing I could do. I had no magic then. Even so, I doubt my powers could’ve helped.” A little flame pops up in my hand with barely a thought. Making fire is more natural than breathing for me, after all. I watch the scarlet snake dance between my fingers. “My family’s abilities have always been better at destruction.”

Simon takes another long sip, polishing off his drink. “I don’t know what my family’s like, but I hope they’re not like me. This power...it’s too much for anyone to have. I’d give it up in a heartbeat.”

“We all would, Snow. That’s what the humans don’t get. Most hexes are just as scared of themselves as humans are.” I pour my third drink. It’s been awhile since I’ve drank so much in one sitting, but if I’m going to get sozzled, tonight is a good time. “But that’s not up to us. We’re born like this. Nothing we can do but try to survive.”

“Believe me, I know that. All I’ve ever done is survive. In the orphanage, on the streets, here in America.” He lets out a small, sad laugh. “Hexation is how I ended up on the street, actually.” Snow looks directly down at the table. “When I was 11, I, uh, had a dream that I was exploding. When I woke up, the entire orphanage had been blown to pieces. Luckily no one was hurt, but the matron couldn’t very well keep a hex among other children.”

“So she thought sending you to roam among other humans was safer?”

He shrugs. “I don’t think she cared as long as I was far away from her.”

I scoff, swinging the glass between two fingers. “Sounds about usual for humans. What made you manifest? A particularly bad paddling from the matron?”

Snow chews on his bottom lip. His fingers drum the wood slowly. “I, uh, actually didn’t have to suffer. I’m one of those rare cases of sudden manifestation, apparently. That’s what Penny called it anyway. She said it was rare but possible.”

My grip on the glass gets even tighter. A sudden jealous rage consumes my mind. So Snow just exploded one day at eleven. That’s awful, of course, I’ll never deny that. But all I can think of is the coffin. The endless night of being trapped in that box, waiting for a relief that wouldn’t come, until I finally broke and became the last thing I ever wanted to be. I went through absolute hell. Of course I assumed Snow had to, like all other male hexes. But he didn’t. He’s never had the acute kind of torture I did. It’s not fair.

“Excuse me,” I say more harshly than I mean to, “I’m tired. I think I’ll turn in.”

Snow’s pretty plain eyes go wide. “O-Oh...okay. Good night, then.”

“Night.” I snatch the bottle up and leave the key for his room. Then I stomp up the stairs with irrational anger still burning me up. I know it’s stupid, but I can’t get past it. Male hexes get their magic through suffering. It’s a well known fact. How could Snow be like me without the same kind of pain? How could he ever fully understand me the way I thought he could?

The second my room door is closed, I drink down the last of the whiskey bottle. I’ve tried to avoid alcohol over the past few years. It would be far too easy for me to drink away the pain, the memories, the horrible guilt. Eventually, I’d drown myself in a bottle. That’s not a way I want to go. But one night of indulgence will be fine.

I wobble towards my bed, shedding my outer layers as I go. I collapse face first onto the old mattress. Whiskey clouds my mind. And when I finally pass out, all I see is empty darkness. I’m not sure if that’s better or worse than the nightmares.

———————————————

“...safe?”

“Out cold...”

The voices stay patchy as I slip in and out of consciousness. I try to force my eyes fully open, but the pounding in my head is too much. Indistinguishable figures move on the edges of my blurry vision. There’s little to no light. It must still be night, maybe only a couple hours since I passed out.

“Is..right thing?”

“Hex...Rook and Pargeter...dangerous...we...safe.”

“Fine.”

Something grabs both my wrists and my ankles. I try to struggle but I must still be too drunk. I can’t get my limbs to move save for some squirming. I try to summon my magic, but my mind can’t concentrate. It’s no use. Bloody hell, I’m trapped.

“Night night, hex,” a horrible voice says. Something soft is pressed hard against my face. I can’t take in air, I can’t breathe, I can’t fucking breathe. It’s like the coffin. No, I can’t do this again. I try to thrash harder and scream but it’s still no use.

Oh Lord, I’m going to die here. I wonder if I’ll see my mother on the other side. I wonder if I even have a soul to go to the other side. And I wonder how if Snow is okay. Christ, my last conversation with him ended in anger. If I had known, I would’ve said everything I’ve wanted to say this past week. But the first thing would be ‘I’m sorry.’

I’m sorry, Snow, for everything I said and thought. And I’m sorry for leaving you alone.

“Hey! Get off him, you bastards!” That voice is familiar even in my half drunken state. Thank whatever gods are listening that he’s okay.

“It’s the other one!” one of my assailants shouts. “Wasn’t Garth supposed to take care of him?!”

“That damn idjit fucked up!”

I hear the telltale signs of punches and kicks thrown about. One of the hands on me pulls off. All this excitement has thankfully sobered me up some. I kick some stupid bastard right in the stomach.

“Fuck!” they wheeze. The other humans are wise and let go of my wrist. I’m on my feet in a second.

“Bloody humans,” I growl out, still slurring slightly. “You can’t even let me fucking sleep?!”

The burly barkeep scowls at me. My would be murder weapon is still in his hand. “Eat shit, you demon.”

I scowl right back at him. “Oh, you want a demon? I’ll give you a fucking demon, love.”

The fire blazes up in me, all shining black and scarlet, and I make little effort to contain it. I let the flames fly out and encase the man almost completely. He screeches as his skin bubbles and burns under my powers.

“Stop it!” a woman yells. She comes at me with a knife raised. A whip of fire forms in my hand instantly. With one crack, it wraps around her wrist. She screams in the exact same way and lets her weapon clatter on the floor. She goes to her knees, clutching her blackened, blistered skin.

“You bastard,” she cries. “How could you?!”

“How could I!?” Even more fire plays over my hands. “I could ask you the same thing, human.”

“We’re trying to protect ourselves, monster!”

In that moment, in her eyes, I see every human who’s hurt me. The people who mocked me, who killed my mother, who turned me into this. All sense leaves my mind in an instant. “I’m a monster only because of you!”

With one wave of my hand, she’s thrown against the wall hard enough to make it shake. I spin around to see a man trying to crack Snow’s skull open with a butcher’s cleaver. One well aimed blast sends him flying as well. Another casts two aside. They don’t move much afterwards, but I find myself caring little. Let them die like my mother did.

“Baz, stop it!” Snow shouts. I ignore him as I send the last assailant against the wall, listening to their screams as I burn their chest. “Baz!”

“Fuck off, Snow!” I roar. “I- Ack!”

Pain rips through my shoulder. I clutch it and my hand becomes wet with what I assume must be blood. I fall forward. My nose cracks against the floor. I scream in pain and flames roar out of me in a massive plume They hit everything, including my shooter and the walls of the room. I can feel the whole space burning around us.

“Baz!” Snow’s voice is beyond panicked. I hear his footsteps rush toward me. His hands hover over me but won’t touch. He can’t touch me.

“Get out, Simon,” I rasp , turning my head to the side to look at him. He’s covered in bruises and ash. Yet he’s still so beautiful. “Run before more of them come.”

“Shut up, arsehole! I haven’t turned my back on you yet, and I’m not going to start now!”

If the world weren’t literally on fire right now, I’d find that touching. I close my eyes. At least my dying image will be of him. “Don’t be an idiot, Snow.” Surprisingly, the bastard fucking laughs. My eyes snap open again. The bloody back of his hand is pressed against his mouth as he giggles. “What the fuck is funny about this?”

“You,” he laughs, “called me Simon before.”

My face heats up, and it’s not from the fire. “No I didn’t.”

“We’re fucking dying and you can’t admit you used my first name?”

“I’m dying. You’re being an idiot and not running away like you should!”

“You’re too stubborn to die, Baz, and we both know it.” He jumps to his feet. “Get up, we’re getting out of here.”

“Snow-”

“Or are you too much of a yellow belly to get up and try?”

Oh, this bastard. In only two weeks, he’s learned me too well. I scowl at his stupid pretty face as I push myself up on my good arm. At the same time, thundering footsteps can be heard from the stairwell.

“That route is out of the question,” I say. “Where are we to go, Snow?”

“This way.” He holds his hand and in a mere two seconds, the opposite wall is blown to pieces in a rain of spark. “Now let’s go!”

“We’re on the bloody second floor!”

Snow runs towards the gaping hole and throws himself out. I rush to the edge, blood pounding in my ear. No, Snow cannot die, I can’t let him die. But to my utter shock and awe, Snow is floating his way down to the ground. He stops and starts and still hits the ground in an uncoordinated roll, but he’s okay.

“Oh, Snow, you brilliant moron,” I whisper.

“They’re probably still in there!” someone shouts from the hallway. I take a few steps back, breathe deep, and run off the splintered edge just as the humans burst through the door.

Instead of sending my fire outwards like usual, I keep it within me. I will my body to rise high like flames from a candle. My legs move slowly like I’m running in the air. Fuck, this is actually working. Slowly, I let my flame flick and die down, lowering myself along with it. I reach the ground with my own thud but stay on my feet. Snow grins at me. In all this horror, that is the greatest thing to see.

“Let’s get the horses and get out of here, Snow.”

“Agreed, Pitch.”

We sprint to the stables and thankfully find our steeds unharmed. I count ourselves lucky that our attackers didn’t consider them demonic too. Mounting is difficult with my left arm fucked up, but let it never be said that a human bullet could stop Basilton Pitch. I hold the reins with one hand as I spur him into a dash.

The wind whistles in my ears. Snow and I run even faster than we did from the Red Weed. Our kind is always good at running. It’s our natural state.

———————————————

Snow and I ride until it’s nearly dawn. The sky turns purple then crimson with the rising sun in front of us. When I see orange, my horse finally starts to tire out. Snow’s does the same. We slow down then stop.

“Think we’re far enough away?” Snow asks, breath short and strained.

“Yeah,” I reply, sounding the same. “I think they would’ve caught us by now if they were still after us.”

“Good point, good point.” Snow leans forward, putting his forehead on his horse’s neck. “God, I’m fucking knackered. I barely slept.”

“Me too. We should both sleep.”

“What if someone comes after us?”

“Point. Sleep in shifts?”

Snow nods. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

“Good.” I slowly dismount my horse, but get my footing wrong and start to fall. I grab the reins with my left arm and practically scream in pain.

“Baz!” Snow rushes towards me, but stops when I raise my good arm.

“Don’t...” I pant, “don’t come any closer. I’m injured, Snow, and my self control is severely weakened. So unless you wish for death now after just barely escaping it, back away.”

“Oh, yeah, right...” Snow backs far away just as he should, but my heart still aches. “What are we going to do about your shoulder?”

“I can fix it, but I’m going to need your belt”

Snow’s brows shot upwards. “My belt? What for?”

“Just throw it to me, Snow, for Christ’s sake.”

Thank God he doesn’t ask another stupid question. He just unbuckles the belt and does what I ask. I try to not let my hands shake as I fold the belt in half. The last time I did this was three years ago, when I sat in a London alleyway after a drunkard broke my leg, a mere four days after fleeing my home for good.

“Baz, what are you-”

“Snow,” I say firmly, “I need you to do me a favour.”

“Okay...?”

I sit on the ground, belt held tightly in my hand. “I need you to stay right there no matter what. Don’t move, don’t try to help. The best way you can help is to stay fucking still.”

“What the fuck is-”

“Promise me you won’t move, Simon.” I look him right in his blue eyes, my mouth a thin, serious line. “Promise me.”

Snow gives me a once over, then thankfully nods. “Okay, I promise.”

“Good.” I put the belt between my teeth. When I check on Snow, he looks beyond panicked. “If it makes it easier,” I say clumsily between the leather, “you don’t have to watch.”

“Baz-”

I slap my right hand over my left shoulder, and it feels like I’m burning from the inside out. My magic scorches my body as it wraps around my injury. The buck shot is pulled through my muscles and skin, ripping and tearing as they go, and I can feel every bit of it. I can also feel as my tissue and bone stretches to knit back together piece by agonizing piece. It’s an indescribable kind of pain. It’s what I imagine hell must feel like. I scream, I can’t help it, but luckily the belt is muffling as well preventing me from biting off a chunk of my tongue. Snow gasps in horror but he doesn’t move. He keeps his promises. I knew he would. He’s a far better man than me.

The burning fades as the skin finally seals shut. I cautiously move my hand, shaking off the shrapnel and gooey viscera that trails between my fingers. God, it's a nasty scab, mangled and uneven and horrifically inflamed. I can only hope the scar won’t be too bad. The one on my calf has faded overtime.

“Are you-”

“Not yet,” I say, cutting off a frightened looking Simon. “This one won’t take as long though.”

I touch my nose, feeling for where the breaks are. I squeeze my eyes shut, and with a horribly painful crack, I move it mostly back into place. I let out a short yell, but just pant and seethe as the bone and cartilage knit back together. I try to wipe the bloody snot from my hand but it's no use. Disgusting, but better than a broken nose. I feel around to make sure things are okay. Well, the tip is a bit crooked, but I can live with that. Right now, I’m thankful to be alive at all.

“Okay,” I sigh, finally taking the teeth mark covered belt out of my mouth, “now I’m done.”

“What the fuck was that?” Snow’s voice is somewhere between fascination and absolute horror. In short, a proper reaction.

“Something my aunt taught me. Hexes are essentially manipulators of energy and matter. And what are bodies but living energy and matter? With practice, you can fix any part of yourself.”

“But isn’t it painful?”

“Was that not obvious?” I snap. But Snow’s genuinely worried face softens my demeanor. “Yes, it’s excruciating. Hence why I try not to use the technique as much as I can.” I massage my still aching shoulder. “Today it was unavoidable, unfortunately.”

Simon runs a nervous hand through his dirty hair. “Fuck...”

I cough out a small laugh. “Yes, that sums it up pretty well.”

He laughs too, just as shaky and sad. “Sums up the whole night.”

The two of us keep chuckling softly in the wee hours of the morning. The ascending sun hurts my tired eyes. Using so much magic has taken everything out of me. I let out a long, deep yawn.

“You sleep first,” Snow says. “I’ll keep watch.”

“No, no, I can-”

“Baz.” He sounds firm, but also tired, and maybe even a little fond. I’m probably imagining that last one though. “Go to bed. I’ll wake you up in about eight hours.”

If I weren’t sleep deprived, magically drained, and recovering from grievous injuries, I would protest more. But Snow is damn lucky today. I simply sigh and stand up to get my cot from my saddlebags. I count our lucky stars we didn’t bring in too many of our supplies to the inn. Maybe God hasn’t completely abandoned us heathen monsters.

“I don’t have the energy to put up my shield,” I say, hoping my tone conveys enough.

“Okay,” Snow replies, “I’ll stay away, don’t worry. I keep my promises.”

My pulse flutters involuntarily. A smile creeps across my face no matter how hard I try to stop it. “I know you do, Simon.”

Snow gifts me one of his sunshine smiles. That’s the last thing I see before turning over and letting myself rest.

———————————————

Snow lets me sleep longer than eight hours. I’d be more mad if I wasn’t so exhausted. In return, I let him oversleep too. We’re both passed out by the time it’s dark again. Even hexes with all our inhumanity need to rest sometimes. Snow and I are lucky we get the chance this time.

In the morning, I reluctantly go to the next closest town. We did leave some of our things behind sadly, including most of our clothes. I’m damn well not going to keep roaming around the south of Texas in my bloody socks, and neither will Snow. I get us some new jackets, boots, and hats, ignoring the strange looks I get from the lily white shopkeeper. 

I grab us some more of that disgusting jerky too. If only good food could keep in these horrific conditions. When I reach the counter, the shopkeeper frowns at the things I lay out.

“You can pay for all this?” she asks. I scowl deeply. I’m too tired for this shit.

“Are people like me not allowed to have money here?” I snap.

“Ya can now, but in my experience, y’all darker folk are better at stealing my stock than paying.”

Bloody hell, I’m too tired for this racist shite. I slam two bills on the counter. “There. Hope I didn’t dirty these up too much for you.”

She glares at me hard. As she reaches for the money, I deliberately brush my finger on hers, and she yelps loudly. The edge of her index is red and inflamed. An undeniable burn mark, but far too small for anyone to believe it came from an evil, bloodthirsty hexslinger.

“Oh dear,” I say deadpan. “Your register must have gotten in the sun. Do be more careful.” I shovel the supplies in my bag as she looks at me wide eyed. “Have a nice day, ma’am.”

I can feel her scared eyes on my back as I leave. I get on my horse and ride out fast. No reason to stay in this shithole any longer. And I need to get back to Snow, where I belong.

———————————————

“Everything okay in town?” Snow asks.

I toss the bundle of clothes at him, along with a bag of jerky. “No one attacked me, if that’s what you mean. I didn’t get made for a hex. But I did get some flack for my skin tone.”

Snow’s face falls a bit. There’s something far too close to pity in his eyes. “Oh. I’m sorry-”

“Don’t, Snow. You’re in no place to apologize for some racist American bastards, it’s not your responsibility. Sorry from you means nothing.”

“But-”

“Would you accept an apology from me on behalf of all the rich men who have treated you like trash before?” Snow’s gaping mouth slowly closes. “Exactly. Now get those on. They’re slightly less dirty than our current garments.”

Snow nods and does what I say. I unbutton off my bloodstained shirt and wince as the tacky fabric peels off my skin. The scab has gotten a little better. That’s something I suppose. My eyes slowly move over to Snow without realising it. I steal a glimpse of his broad, bare back, golden like the rest of him. There are some jagged pink scars but they take nothing away how brightly he shines. I look away before I’m too tempted by what I can’t have.

“Much better,” Snow sighs as he slips on the new boots. “I’m surprised my feet haven’t been ripped to shreds yet.”

“Me too. I’m glad though, I didn’t want to do any more healing.”

“I don’t want you to either, fuck.” I hate how his concern makes me feel so good inside. “I’ll start setting up the fire. It’s going to get dark again soon.”

“By all means, Snow, do all the work. I won’t stop you.”

Snow snorts out a laugh, giving me a cheeky smile I can still see at this distance. Christ, I’m on fire, and for once it’s not from my magic. It’s so much better. I have to look away again before I do something ridiculous and deadly.

By the time the sun is down, Snow has made a wonderful small fire for the two of us. We both warm our hands from opposite sides. I don’t need to do it too much. My magic has almost fully replenished, for better or worse. And I’m so hungry that I actually enjoy the extremely salty bison jerky. Bloody hell, I’m turning into an American.

“Where are we going to go next?” Snow asks, mouth still full. “I’m guessing we should avoid any more towns.”

“Agreed. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather not jump out of another building.”

“We certainly agree there. Christ, I was worried I was going to die.”

“Me too, Snow, me too.” I nervously fiddle with the string on my cloth bag. The words are coming out, and I can’t stop them. “I’m sorry, Snow.”

His brow adorably furrows. “Sorry for what?”

“Sorry for the way I acted that night, before I went to bed. I was very rude to you and I deeply apologize.”

“Oh...okay. Thanks.” He looks down, rubbing the back of his neck. “I-I was confused. Did I do something bad?”

“No, Snow,” I sigh, “you did nothing wrong. It was all me being stupid.”

“Okay...”

I sigh again. God, I can’t dance around it anymore. I have to tell him. After putting up with me for this long, he deserves to know.

“I was angry and...somewhat jealous of you.”

His eyes get very big. “Jealous? Of me?!”

“Yes, in a way. Because...you didn’t have to go through the same kind of suffering I did when I manifested. Which isn’t fair, because you lived on the streets while I grew up in a bloody mansion. It’s just not the same suffering I had, and I was angry I had to go through it when you didn't. Which is absolutely ridiculous, and I’m sorry I pushed that on you.”

“If you don’t mind me asking...what happened?”

I stare at him for a long moment over the fire. He holds my gaze, eyes round with worry and care. It hurts me in the most exquisite way. “It’s not a pretty story, Snow.”

His mouth pulls into a sad, slight smile. “Weren’t you the one who said that all hexes live through hardship, and we have nothing to be ashamed of?”

I chuckle and shake my head. “Using my words against me, a tactic of a true devious hex.”

He shrugs, still wearing that little smile. “What can I say? I can live up to our reputation sometimes.” Snow’s face falls again. “So what happened?”

With a deep sigh, rubbing my forehead, I start the horrid tale.

“My family always knew there was a chance I could be a hex,” I say. “But since my aunt couldn’t sense any magic on me pre manifestation, we assumed that I wasn’t too powerful, and manifestation could be avoided if we were careful. So I lived in the aforementioned secluded mansion all my life and I was never allowed to leave the grounds. All my time was spent reading, doing school work, or learning about hexation from my aunt, just in case. Everything in my life revolved around my mere potential to be a hex. I could never do or see anything. I felt like a prisoner. And when I was 18, I had enough.

“One evening, I snuck out of my room and went into the nearby town. I just wanted to see what was outside my home. But I was a naive sheltered kid. Of course I got lost on my way there and went into an area I never should have. Someone had knocked me out cold, and next thing I knew, I was in a cramped, dark box.”

“A box? What do you mean a box?”

I clench my fists tight until the shaking stops, then slowly let go. “It was a coffin, Snow. I had been trapped inside a coffin.”

I can almost feel the way Snow’s stomach must drop out at those words. I know, mine did the same when I realised where I was that night. “W-Why?!”

“It was hard to hear him through said coffin, but I got the main idea. He came from some old witch hunter family but had never caught an actual hex, until me. He’d heard the stories about my mother and had been secretly spying on me for months. When I escaped, he took his chance to kidnap me.”

“So he took you just to taunt you from outside a coffin?”

“I wish that was all he did,” I grumble. “He told me that the coffin was a test. There was a chance the hexation had skipped me over. If I was a hex, being stuck in the coffin would make me manifest, then he could kill me in good conscience. If I wasn’t and didn’t manifest, well, as he put it; ‘there are always casualties in the war for righteousness, boy.’”

Snow’s jaw drops to the grassy ground. “So even if you were human, he would’ve killed you anyway?”

“Mhm, mad bastard.” 

“How long did he keep you there before you escaped? A few days?”

I take long, steady breaths, beating back the old fear that creeps up my throat like bile. I can almost still smell that unique rotten scent from the coffin. I’ll never forget it. I never can.

“Snow,” I say slowly, “I was in that coffin for six weeks.”

And I thought he looked horrified before. Snow drops his jerky bag, hands shaking. I want to grab them, hold them still, comfort him in whatever way I can. The urge is almost stronger than the Call.

“S-Six weeks?! How are you still alive?”

“Thank the witch hunter,” I grumble. “He drilled very small air holes in the lid, and gave me enough food and water to keep me alive but starving. I think, hex or not, he wanted me to suffer because I was my mother’s son. A hex’s child was just as guilty of sin in his eyes.” I rub the bridge of my nose. It aches with the pain of my past. “At the time, I had no idea how long I was in there. It was just one endless night of torture. I begged and pleaded with the hunter to let me go, but he only laughed and called me pathetic hex scum. After six weeks, well, he finally got what he wanted.”

“You manifested.”

“Almost as violently as you did.” I trace the lines of my hand, the skin rough from my fire. I remember my mother’s hands being the same. “The details are blurry, but I remember enough. It started as just a tingling in my gut, but soon it became a burn. And then it spread as quickly as a forest fire.”

“Is it always fire with you?” The corner of Snow’s lip quirks up. The bit of teasing lilt in his voice makes me feel a bit lighter. I can't help but smile back a little.

“Usually, yes. It's always run very strong in my family.” I bounce a flame between my fingers. The movement is strangely calming to me. “I quickly learned I was no different. Before I knew it, I let out a massive ring of fire in every direction. It blew the coffin apart, of course, and turned my captor into a charcoal husk.”

Snow scoffs, a surprisingly vicious expression on his face. “Better than he deserved.”

“Agreed. I have no idea what happened to his body. I left almost immediately, though I wasn’t fully conscious. Six weeks in the coffin had deprived me of most of my mental faculties. Luckily, he kept me not far from home, and I could wander back on pure muscle memory. But going home turned out to be a terrible idea.” I grab the small fire and snuff it out in one go. But my fist stays clenched. “My aunt had been staying there while everyone searched for me. The second I walked through the front door, I could easily smell her. She was overjoyed to see me, until she smelled me too. And as I said, most of my mental faculties were gone.”

“So you attacked her on instinct.”

I chuckle sadly. “Quick study there, Snow. I didn’t even know what I was doing. I was just so bloody hungry all of sudden. I can’t even describe it.”

“You don't need to describe it to me, Baz.” He brings his knees under his chin. “I’ve felt hex hunger too. It’s...awful when you’re in the middle of it.”

“And when you’re not, you try to drown it out or distract yourself. But deep down, you know one day you’ll give up and listen. Then it will take over.”

Snow nods, looking at me in the eye. I’ve seen so much profound sadness in a person’s face. “And you’ll hurt someone, no matter how much you’ll regret it later.”

If I have a soul, it’s aching horribly. How could fate be so cruel as to give me Snow? So wonderfully brave and kind to a fault, and who actually understands what my life is like. The perfect man. And someday soon, he’s going to kill me. There’s no doubt I’ll be the one to die. I won’t kill him, not ever. I’d let him take everything from me before I’d kill him.

“Did you hurt your aunt?”

Thankfully, I can shake my head to that. “No, not at all. She was an experienced magic user, while I was a starving, half crazed newly minted hex. She took me down in seconds. When I woke up again, I was cleaned up and in my room. It took a second to regain my bearings, but I soon remembered what had happened...what I had become. There wasn’t any debate in my mind. Within an hour, I had packed my most practical clothes along with any small valuables I could pawn. Then I ran away and never looked back.”

“Which is how you ended up in America.”

“What better way to protect my family from me than by putting an ocean between us? At first, I stayed in an empty little corner of the American frontier. I just wanted to live out my lonely hex existence as long as possible. I didn’t expect the Call or this looming hex war.”

“No one did,” Simon sighs. “Hexes working together has never been possible before. Who could’ve imagined some American preacher would team up with an Aztec goddess to do just that?”

“Fair point. But now he’s made our existences much harder in a way. Look what those humans tried to do to us at the inn. They were even more scared because of Rook”

“Yeah...”

I groan, pushing my face into my hands, rubbing it up and down. “I never asked to be like this. I tried my hardest to avoid being like this. Then that choice was ripped away from me by some madman. Now I’m trapped between murderous humans or a bloodthirsty witch goddess. Why am I here? Why do I have to be here?!”

“Baz-”

“I don’t want this,” I choke out through my building sobs. “I want to see my family again. I just want to go home!”

I breathe hard and fast, holding back tears with all my strength. No, I refuse to cry. I swore to never cry again after the coffin, because I wasn't sure I could survive falling apart again. Yet here I am. I thought I had shed every tear I have there. I’m so pathetic.

“It’s okay,” Simon says. His voice is far louder than before. “Whatever you’re feeling is okay. It’s...it’s okay if you’re not.”

Slowly, cautiously, I lower my hands, blinking away the tears that had collected. I inhale sharply. Snow is less than two feet away from me. I can count the moles on his face, see the golden highlights in his bronze. But worse, his unbelievably delicious scent fills every cavity of my nose.

“You really shouldn’t sit so close, Snow,” I whisper. My eyes fall down and become completely fixed on Simon’s plush lips.

“I know,” he says under his breath, “but I don’t care.”

He touches my hand, and I feel his magic run through me. That explosive sensation pulses through my veins so hard it almost makes me gasp. The instinctual part of my brain goes fucking mad. It wants me to grab his throat and drain every drop of his magic, his essence, his very soul. My breathing gets shallow and laboured.

“Simon...” I say.

And then he kisses me.

It’s cautious and shy. His lips barely brush against mine, but I feel it everywhere else, especially in the way our powers rise to meet each other. The magic collides, but doesn’t clash. They meld and twist together at our points of contact, desperately needing to connect.

Snow opens his mouth, turning the kiss into one of pure heat and hunger. I gladly do the same. He grabs either side of my face and shoves his tongue down my throat. I grip his collar and push back against him. My entire body is filled with endless energy. I’m a star going supernova. And I want to explode with Simon. My nails scratch viciously across his neck. He clenches his fist in my hair, pressing our faces closer. I shudder as Simon bites hard on my bottom lip. I’m wrapped in cold heat, wrapped up in him. I feel so alive. It feels so right. But it’s wrong.

With all the strength I have, I shove Snow off me. We both fall back on the ground, breaking our closed circuit of feeding on each other simultaneously. Simon scrambles further away panting. I’m similarly out of breath. Both our lips trail white smoke, like they’ve been singed by ice. My magic readjusts after being sucked away and added to all at the same time. A bit of Snow’s explosive energy still sits in me, swirling around like a miniature star. We just stare at each other wide eyed for a long time.

“Shit,” Simon whispers.

I sigh heavily, running a shaky hand through my hair. “Well said.”

“We nearly killed each other.”

“Mages don’t meddle, Snow. We both know that.”

Simon groans, clutching his hair in his fists. “I know, I know. I almost killed Penny last time and I swore it would never happen again. But look at me now. Of course I fuck up.” I can see tears forming under his eyes. “What’s the point of being an all powerful hex if it means being alone forever?! I can blow up a building with my mind but I can’t even bloody kiss you! It’s not fair!”

I pick at my shirt sleeve with shaking fingers. “Maybe God is punishing us.”

“We didn’t ask to be like this, Baz!”

“That doesn’t change what we are, Simon! We’re freaks of nature, cannibalistic monsters!” I nearly rip through the fabric of my shirt. I'm so angry and so fucking tired. “Maybe we truly are devil spawn or something, like all the humans say. Maybe they’re right to be scared of all of us...”

I turn away from him, just staring at the fire. The sting of the smoke keeps me from sinking too low into my self loathing. Snow moves in my peripheral. We sit side by side. My skin prickles as he hovers his hand over mine. It takes every bit of my will to not try and drain him again.

“There’s somewhere we can go where we aren’t 'Devil spawn,'” he says.

I tense up. “Simon, that’s risky. It could all be a farce.”

“I don’t care if you think it’s just a farce, Baz! It’s still a chance. For you and me, for us.” He lightly brushes one of my fingers. I have to rip my hand away before I hurt him again. His pretty eyes are filled with pain. “See? Wouldn’t you like to stop doing that? Isn’t it worth the risk?”

I’ve been running for most of my life. I ran from my mother's legacy for as long as I could. I ran from my family when I feared my own hunger. And I could run now, from Simon and the fear of killing him. But I’d also be abandoning the chance for some sort of happy life. It may not be perfect, but it would be far more than my ancestors ever had before. Can I sacrifice that for fear?

“I’m tired, Snow,” I say weakly. “We should both get some rest.”

“But Baz-”

“Let me sleep on it, alright? Please?”

Snow takes in a deep breath, and lets out a long sigh. “We’ll talk in the morning.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

I want to kiss him so badly right now. Just grab his gorgeous, sunshine face and kiss him goodnight. Since I can’t, I smile as genuinely as I can at him. It’s not easy for me, but I mean it with him. “Goodnight, Simon.”

Snow stares at me for a long moment. But slowly, a smile creeps across his face too. The fondness threatens to melt me, “Goodnight, Baz.”

We keep our eyes locked for as long as we can. When I finally lay down, putting my crackling shield around me, the image of Snow’s wonderful face relaxes me into sleep.

———————————————

I bang my fists against the wood over and over, ignoring my already numerous splinters.

“Help!” I yell. “Someone help me! Please, get me out of here!”

All my pleas fall on deaf ears, as usual. No matter what I do, no matter how loud I scream. I’m stuck in this damned coffin. I scratch at it until my fingernails tear from their beds. Blood drips into my mouth, leaving an iron taste in the back of my scream sore throat.

“I’m not a fucking hex! I just want to go home!” I sob so hard I nearly choke on my own breath. “Just let me go home.”

My aching arms finally fall. I curl in on myself as much as I can within my confines. I close my eyes, but there’s little to no difference in the endless pitch black. Tears run hot down my face. They leave small trails in the dirt that’s accumulated over...however long I’ve been here. I don’t know anymore. Time is meaningless where there’s no sunrise or sunset. Life is meaningless in here.

“Baz?”

His voice is far away, but it still rings clear. My eyes slide open. “Simon?”

“Oh lord. Hang on, Baz! I'll get you out!”

I can only hear as Snow desperately tugs at the coffin lid. It should be impossible, the thing is nailed shut, but somehow Snow rips it open. The light is dim yet still hurts my eyes. I can't help but hiss at the pain.

“It’s okay, Baz,” he says in that unbelievably soft tone.

His hand reaches to me through the blinding light. Slowly, I reach back. And when I hold it, I know I’m supposed to be in pain, but I’m not. Instead, I’m just calm, happy, safe. Snow slowly pulls me out. His arms snake around my back, holding me up. He looks me over, taking in my decrepit, decayed state from ages in that damn box. And miraculously, he smiles. Even like this, he looks at me with such care.

“You’re alright now, Baz. I’m here.” He cups my face. “I’m here for you.”

Emotions clog up my throat and tears run down my cheek, but this time they’re for a good reason. I put my own shaking hand on his golden face. He’s so warm. “Yes, you are. And I’m here for you too, Simon.”

He’s still grinning as I lean forward, pressing my lips to his. But this time there’s no fear I’ll kill him. There’s just the utter joy of being with the one who understands me best, the one I want the most.

Oh, how I want this.

———————————————

I blink awake slowly. The morning sun is just rising over the horizon, turning the grassy landscape violet. I sit up and see the now familiar body on the other side of the fire. Snow sleeps in a knot, arms and legs pulled in. The furrow in his brow says he’s in the middle of a nightmare too. Though mine wasn’t one by the end. Not when he was there.

My mind is made up.

Once again, I’m packing my things lowly, waiting for Snow to wake. Luckily, he stirs while I’m only halfway through tying up the cot. He rubs the sleep from his eyes in such a terribly adorable way.

“Morning,” I say.

“Morning,” he yawns. “Are we going now? Or...are you?”

My heart seizes, but only for a moment. He’s right to be concerned. The fact that we’ve travelled together for two weeks without killing each other is a miracle among hexes. After last night’s close call, a sensible man would leave and never return. I was once a sensible human man. But I’m a deranged, bloodthirsty hex now. Why not act like one?

“You should get up and start packing, Snow. If we’re going to make it to the Mexican border before nightfall, we’ll have to ride fast.”

His eyes go rounder than a full moon. “You mean...”

I pull the pack tie tight. “We’re going to Hex City.”

“What changed your mind?

I sigh heavily, then walk over to him. I stay at a safe distance of course but Snow’s magic pulls me to him, my body begging me to take it. Instead, I simply hold out my hand to him. Snow stares for a moment but does catch on. He offers his own to me. Once again, our magics reach out to each other, wisps of fire and lightning twining together. It sends a faint whisper of that explosive adrenaline through my veins. So incredible and so wrong.

I snap my hand away, fists clenched hard. “Because of that. If I were a more selfless person, I would simply leave, but unfortunately I’m not. Are you?” Snow looks me over. His eyes pierce me in a way no one’s ever has before. He slowly shakes his head. “Exactly. I may be scared of Rook and his goddess, but I’m more scared of hurting you. There’s only one place where I won't.”

“Hex City.” He chews on the corner of his bottom lip. “What if you’re right though, and Rook’s price is too high?” 

“Then at least we’ll pay it knowing we tried to have a real life, instead of running like we’ve always had to.” I stand straight with my head held high. No matter the fear, I’m sure of this. “I think we’ve both suffered long enough, Simon.”

The way Snow’s face relaxes means the world to me. I love seeing that, seeing what he looks like without the heavy burden of hexation on his shoulders. Maybe I’ll be able to see that more in Hex City.

“It’ll probably be nice there,” he says. “I mean, a city made for hexes by hexes is going to be weird, but I bet it’ll look amazing in it’s own way.”

I chuckle and nod. “Agreed. Buildings and roads made by magic will certainly be interesting.”

“Penny would probably want to study them.” He sighs, but there’s a lightness to. “Maybe Penny will come one day, and I could see her again.”

“Maybe. I would love to meet her. I might be able to see my aunt again one day, too. I could introduce you to her.”

He beams so bright at me I fear I’ll get sunburnt. “I’d like that a lot.”

“Me too, Snow. So let’s get going.”

We finish packing very quickly. Snow gets on his horse as clumsy as he usually does. I snort at the way his American cowboy hat nearly falls off his head. The death glare he gives me has little impact, what with the way he’s grinning. He hasn’t stopped grinning almost since he woke up. I can’t blame him. I have trouble controlling my smile either.

“Ready?” he asks. As if he even has to. I’ve made my choice, and I’m sticking to it.

“Ready,” I say. “Let’s go.”

Snow and I both send our horses into gallops. We soar across the grassy plain, the Texas sun illuminating our way. The impending hex war still looms over us. But I will fight until my last breath to keep any happiness Simon and I can find.

I can almost see our future. Soon, we’ll reach the terrifying and wonderful Hex City. Rook will ask for his price, and we’ll pay, because it’ll mean a freedom we've never known before. We’ll be able to hold hands, kiss whenever we want, sleep in the same bed, simply be around each other with no fear of our hexacious hunger. It’s more than I could have ever dreamed of even a few months ago.

For once, I’m going to run towards something good, instead of away from the darkness inside me. I cannot wait.

———————————————

AN: And that's all folks! I hope people enjoyed that, even if y'all have never read Hexslinger. If you wanna read the books, I highly recommend them, tho be warned they require trigger warnings for all the stuff here and more. Almost anything that usually needs a trigger warning is in those books. I'm okay with reading it, but I also completely understand others not liking that shit.

In the positives, it's an extremely interesting and complex series dealing with survival, discrimination, identity, the pain that can come with love, and the unlikely bonds formed between people. The world building is amazing and the magic system is super cool. What I love the most are the characters, who are all very interesting and complex. No one is 100% good or evil, they're just people trying to find ways to achieve their goals or simply live. What actions they take are up for moral debate, but a lot of the time they're at least understandable. There's a lot of period typical bigotry, and it's much more vicious than what I wrote here, but what I love is that there a lot of diverse characters who say "fuck that" and fight back against the shit they get. You've got queer, Indigenous, black, latinx, Chinese, and Jewish main characters in a wild west story who are all well rounded and interesting. That's pretty awesome imo.

Okay enough gushing about Hexslinger lol. Hope this story was good. No guarantee when my next fic will be out. Work and school are killer. Until then, see you later!

[heavy-lobster]

Okokok I’ve had thoughts and I am going to organize them into several paragraphs so buckle up

PMD DX is an important game, because it marks the PMD series not being completely dead, and has given people hope for more entries in the future. Of course, I think everyone would prefer that next entry be something new, rather than a remake of a past PMD game. Even then, since DX was announced I’ve seen plenty of talk about the inevitability of a PMD 2 remake, whether it’s coming next or will be following something new. Most people I’ve seen talk about this seem in agreement that PMD 2 would be the next game in the series to get remade if any. This is really strange to me.

I don’t feel like Explorers of Sky really needs a remake. Here me out.

Like a lot of people, EoS is my favorite PMD game. The pixel art graphics are pretty much everything I could ever want out of a game and the soundtrack might just be my favorite video game soundtrack of all time. The story is incredible and the characters are fun and charming. While I personally don’t really play PMD for the gameplay at all, EoS has the most enjoyable gameplay in the series in my opinion. I really love this game, so why wouldn’t I want a remake?

I don’t feel that EoS needs a remake. I just don’t feel like there’s any improvements to be made here. Let me clarify; I’m not saying EoS is perfect. It definitely isn’t. No game is. EoS has plenty of issues and things that could be improved and added to the game. So what’s the problem? I just don’t feel like hardly any of the things that actually need improving would be improved in the remake I know we would get. The remake would most likely just “update” the graphics, “update” the music, change and update some gameplay features, and maybe some new post game content or something if we’re lucky idk.

I feel the update to the graphics would almost be reductive in a way. The pixel art style of EoS just doesn’t really need “updating”. Clean, stylized, pixel graphics are timeless and will ultimately hold up better than any 3D graphics, the standards for which just keep getting higher and higher. It’s distinct and charming and I don’t feel that anything of value would be gained by making the game 3D. To clarify, I don’t hate the graphics of the 3D PMD games. They look just fine and there’s some parts of these games that look fantastic! I just feel like in the graphics department of an EoS remake, there nothing to be gained and everything to lose.

Music wise, this argument is entirely based on my own nostalgia and biases. I like the music! It’s good! Every orchestral rendition I’ve ever heard of a track from these games just hasn’t done it for me. Part of just really doesn’t want to hear an “official” version of these orchestral arrangements because I just. don’t like the sound as much. I’m a music nerd and even I genuinely can’t justify this with any kind of logic beyond just the nostalgia factor for me personally.

The gameplay is the only area I can see being actually improved and even I’m not really sure what more they could do other updating it to be more like it was in DX. Which would be nice I guess but it still just doesn’t feel that necessary to me idk. I doubt the story would go through any major changes, for better or for worse, so overall there’s just not enough improvements to be made to justify a whole remake.

If any PMD were to get another remake, the game I feel is the most deserving of it is Gates to Infinity.

Gates has grown a reputation for being the worst PMD game, the reasons for which are completely beyond me. Gates is my second favorite game in the series. The story is great and it fixes one problem I’ve had pointed out about EoS story-wise,,,, that being the generally pointless flashbacks to events that happened 5 minutes ago. The graphics are outdated by today’s standards yeah but,,,, Gates was the first fully 3D Pokemon game so how hard can you really be? The music, while not quite as good as its predecessors in my opinion, is still very good! Especially the goodbye theme, that’s a good one. The gameplay is. Certainly gameplay! Overall it’s a really good game and I like it! So why do I think it deserves a remake more than EoS?

There’s a lot more things to improve and expand on with Gates. Gates felt like it was being held back from what it could’ve been. There were so many cool features n shit that just wasn’t really utilized much and it’s sad because these games could’ve been even better! Gates feels almost incomplete to me, like there was supposed to be more to it. Probably not but it feels like it to me.

Graphic wise there’s a lot of obvious improvements to be made. The models in Gates definitely aren’t bad, but they could be better for sure. The environments would look SO good if the graphics were touched up,,, I wanna see the great glacier in high-def dammit! A lot of the animations were kind of awkward too, those could benefit from a touch up. A big problem with Gates is that the camera is zoomed in wayyy too much. You really can’t see shut most of the time and it just doesn’t look very good. That could be fixed in a remake. The music doesn’t need much of touch up that’s not really one of my points here it doesn’t get its own paragraph.

One thing I want improved story-wise is the post game. I really like the post game of Gates but it’s so short and there’s just. Not much there?? There’s actually kind of sort of a bad ending to Gates! You can straight up refuse to return to the pokemon world and then the cave collapses and fades out to some weirdly eerie text. I really like this!! I like everything about this climax in the post game! But that’s like,,, pretty much the only thing worth noting! I like the overwhelming feeling of emptiness, and I like the way your partner just silently stares at your old bed every morning before you get to control him. I just think it’s neat! But it could’ve been so much neater!! I just want to see it expanded on.

The gameplay is mostly fine in Gates dungeon-wise. The other things I’ve mentioned plus just updating somethings to fit in with recent PMD games would fix all the problems I have with the dungeon gameplay here. No I don’t care if they add hunger back or not, hunger adds nothing of substance to the gameplay and I couldn’t care less whether or not it’s a feature.

The gameplay I want to see improved isn’t in the core dungeon aspect. I want to see the Paradise building aspect of the game improved and expanded on. It’s a really cool feature! It could be so much cooler if it wasn’t as limited as it is!! I have so many ideas but I’m,,, not writing them down rn sorry. Also magnagates! That weird little feature no one cared about. Those were cool I just wanted to bring them up,,, I kinda miss them.

TLDR; I feel like there’s so much more they could do and improve with a Gates to Infinity remake, whereas there really isn’t many ways to handle an Explorers remake. But also I really don’t want them to remake another PMD game I just want new content please I’m starving here-

[yourneighbourpotato]

An essay and rant on TLOU II

How about naughty dog takes another year or 2 or 3 and does the same thing that sonic movie did and remakes the game and we all agree that part 2 was an unofficial fever dream. And skip to part 3 where everyone gets better development and better not dry deaths or no deaths 💞 and every diverse character isn't there just to be there 💖💖💖 but they are there as people with polished personalities and growth 💞 because as much I'd like to scream gay, lesbian, trans rights I can't.

Although the story needs some or maybe a lot of polishing. The overall ideas aren't that bad but the execution. That's where ND kind of fucked up. Graphics and gameplay may have improved but the game is so slow paced that it can get quite annoying. Graphics and gameplay sadly don't outweigh the minuses of the story.

Now let's get into some spoilers. So yeah spoiler warning.

First of all let's start with Abby. Why? Just why? What's the point of forcing everyone to play as her after she killed Joel who helped her? Also how the fuck did the least trustful character who outsmarted other survivors in 1st game just forgot all survival tactics and experience he had??? Why did Ellie just decided not to use a gun on Abbys group? Or why didn't she think of some plan to distract or ambush them??? Why were we made to chase after Abby the whole game only to see Ellie refuse to kill her? Why did we have to jump around the characters and story so much? Why was the story told in that order??? And etc.

Now. I don't mind ND killing a character but they did it way too early and way too shitty, I wish his death was more meaningful or at least they made a nice build up to that significant moment. Tbh even getting Joel seriously hurt (could've been to the point where he can't live his life like before, can't move legs, looses an arm(so he can't play guitar), can't use his body at all, etc.) that would've been enough to make everyone angry and wanting for revenge maybe even more?.. Or if they(Abbys group) wanted to get revenge on Joel so bad they could've just fucked Ellie up(make him watch her getting tortured/killed maybe) to cause even more pain to Joel who now sees Ellie as a daughter. Abbys part could've been way shorter or at the very least once again done in completely different manner. Because almost no one gave a single shit about Abby and her story and her part of the game. The game could've deceived us into thinking that Abby is a nice pal and she becomes part of Jackson and then she strikes once she gets to know Joel's weak points. Fuck it destroy Jackson like Joel destroyed the fireflies facility. Make it epic. Idk.

Or. Give players more freedom in making choices of what they want to do.? Just a thought.

I don't mind developers that try to be brave and try out new things but if you do it do it thoughtfully with passion that shines through the screen even in the darkest moments.

Now let's move on to the things I actually liked. Obviously I liked graphics they were decent and the environments looked great, not to mention how much fun you can have with photo mode. Music as always was beautiful, loved the guitar in this one too. Gameplay, well it wasn't the hugest leap forward with it because there were stuff that were just chores to lengthen the gameplay in the most boring way possible, such as get this cart to this place so you can climb up or get this wire to start electricity so u can open the gate and etc.(basically the same shit like in the last game or tbh almost any of their games, yes I'm talking to you uncharted but everything else with gameplay such as exploring was more or less fun) Killing enemies was fun, not so much fun killing dogs but you gotta do what you gotta do. Killing Abby at any given opportunity was also quite the attraction. Almost every flashback with Joel and Ellie was enjoyable and brought some tingly emotions in me and also were fun to play and experience. Ellies and Dinas relationship was for more or less okay for me and the 2 of them had some nice moments together (which. Could've been better but oh well, let's not deny that TAAAAAAKEEE E ONNNNN MEEEEEE TAKE ON MEEEE was epic) Also I like how the NPCs that you're with are always doing something even when you are standing in one place(and they also help you out with taking out enemies). I liked that we got some more details about the world of TLOU but it could've been done better. And that's probably about it.

Edit: no that's not about it, the snowball fight was lit. Playing the guitar is enjoyable(guitar hero has nothing on this part). And petting dogs is a plus as well.

Tbh I think ND will have a hard time gaining back the trust from their fans and their ex-fans. It's either they completely remake the story of part 2 or they might as well release some sort of game where we get to play as Joel in that skipped 20 year period. AND IT BETTER BE POLISHED AS FUCK. Wouldn't mind if it went little below the level of 1st game but not below the left behind dlc.

Thank your for listening to my Ted talk anyone wanting to talk and rant. Feel free to do so, share your experience. Video games are art and since art is subjective all opinions are valid. Just because opinions are different doesn't mean one's thoughts are superior to others and there's definitely no need to feel personally attacked by someone else's opinion.

[soldfear-gone]

Get To Know The Writer!

———  BASICS! ♡

(PEN)NAME: FLOWER!  PRONOUNS: she / her but also okay with they / them !!  ZODIAC SIGN: Scorpio uh oh TAKEN OR SINGLE: Single!

———  THREE  FACTS! ♡

Heyooo !! I love making graphics ?? Graphics are legit my favorite part of starting up a blog because I feel like you can convey what type of character or vibe you have going from your look alone. Aesthetics aren’t everything, I totally agree with that !! But for me personally, when I’m starting up a blog, I love to try and go out as much as I can because I just have fun doing it !!

I’m actually really afraid of most horror stuff ?? Scary movies are pretty hard for me to watch at times, it usually takes a friend convincing me to watch it. That being said, my fave scary movie ( if you want to count it as that ?? ) is Midsommar and the IT series. I absolutely LOVE Midsommar. 

Talking about yourself is really hard UUUUHH. . . I love swimming ?? I was taught to swim at about 2 years old and have always just felt more at peace within the water. That being said, I have really bad balance and cannot ride a skateboard or skate in general to save my life even though I really wish I could.

———  EXPERIENCE! ♡

I was introduced to RP on Twitter actually around 2014-2015 !! I came across a lot of fan accounts back then for Free! and soon I came across RP accounts. Though, they were all mainly crack focused rather than serious. That’s when I realized that I wanted to write something a bit more serious and began branching out a bit more into a different character. I did that for a while until a friend I met on Twitter suggested trying out Tumblr in 2016 and I’ve been here ever since !! If you’ve been following me since then, you’ll probably remember my very first account which was Yuuri from Yuri on Ice !! From there, I spent a lot of time on Nagisa from Free and then blog hopped a lot haha. Now I’m here !!

———  MUSE  PREFERENCE! ♡

Mainly male muses and muses I cannot RP for the life of me. LMAO listen, theres a lot of muses I LOVE but I feel terrible writing for because I feel like I cannot pin their character down which gives me a difficult time. I think thats why in the end I always end up coming back to my OC’s since they’re y’know,,, mine ?? I think the muses I’ve had the most fun rping though is definitely Nagisa from back in the day, Curly since he’s just such an oddball and Lupin. I guess I like going for muses that really present themselves one way but have a lot of stuff going on in the back.

———  FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT! ♡    

FLUFF: YEAH BABY !! I don’t think I’ve written anything fluffy in a while, but when it presents itself, I grip it tightly and enjoy it all that I can.

ANGST: YEAH !! I’m a firm believer in that when angst arises between characters, it really helps either strengthen their relationship or bring up new problems that they can figure out together. Of course, angst is a lot of fun since it helps throw your characters into new situations and figure out hmmm how is this going to work. Idk I mean when discussed properly and with a good writing partner it all works out.

SMUT: It’s been years since I’ve written smut LMAO. So, honestly ?? I like writing smut, but only with the right writer and muse. If I just don’t feel comfortable with you as a writer, I won’t want to write smut with you. In turn, muses have to present a level of understanding and chemistry before I just start throwing them into sexual situations and whatnot. It’s kinda bleh when it’s like,,, writing smut to write smut ?? It’s a lot more fun when you’re writing it cause you know your characters care for each other and its not just some,,, idk. one off thing ?? Maybe I feel that way because I accidentally like had a lot of ships back in the day that had little to no chem, but yeah. Either way, I haven’t written smut in forever lMAO.

PLOT / MEMES: I love plotting okay? Like anytime you want to plot, just hmu I love throwing ideas back and forth all the time. As for memes, I love hoarding them. It’ll take me weeks to reply or I’ll do it immediately, but just know that I appreciate every meme sent to me !! Also, its a great way to start random threads !!

tagged: hehehehe i stole it again !!

tagging: steal it baby

[asotin]

what're your thoughts on castlevania (the netflix show, not the game, ive never played the game) what do you like, what don't you like? make it as long as you want. i don't care if i have to scroll for 5 minutes. go feral (personally trevor is extremely hot and i would like to date sypha. i'm not really into alucard's whole sickly victorian child aesthetic, yknow?)

oh god this is way too long, but you did say to make it as long as i want, and i have a lot of thoughts that i need to inflict on the world

i played two castlevania games, both from the nintendo gameboy era, so please don’t get mad at me, gamers

details below the cut, but since i’ll be talking about season three, i need to preface this with content warnings for mentions of: graphic violence, rape and sexual violence, racism, and the holocaust

before i get into it, i usually don’t go for alucard-type characters either, but knowing that he was redesigned to be bishounen sexy specifically because the boring, middle aged man look he originally had in the games wasn’t appealing makes me enjoy him. and he’s fun with trevor and sypha

do like:

the voice acting

it’s all good. i can’t think of any characters whose voices were awkward or fit poorly. they don't make sypha’s va use the standard flat affect or false high voice women tend to be assigned, trevor sounds suitably worn out but not monotone, and alucard sounds exhausted but in a sexy way

and the spanish dub is killer, arguably superior

the animation & design

it isn’t full-on artsy, but it’s definitely got a distinctive style that’s easy to look at. the color use and effects are gorgeous. it’s a story set in the medieval era, and the mixture of desaturated and oversaturated elements works so well with that

dracula’s castle and the belmont bunker aren't revolutionary in design, but they didn't need to be. they're suitably creepy and empty, and i enjoyed them

the monsters were unique enough to have obvious different types, and the scene where a monster commits blasphemy in a church by accusing a priest of committing blasphemy was good writing

lisa

she shows up to a stranger’s spooky home and scolds him for being rude. she really looked an ancient vampire in the face, told him he had no manners, then had a kid with him. what a phenomenal woman. 11/10, no notes

“start with me, and i’ll start with you.” you know what? i’d fall in love, too

dracula

this ancient, unfriendly vampire let a human woman walk into his home and tell him he’s got no manners. and that made him fall in love with her. just like that. lisa walked in and handed him his ass, and dracula thought “oh i love her”. and when she was killed (more on this in the bad section), he raised literal hell to destroy the world for doing it

speaking of lisa being killed, it fucks me up that it happened because she convinced him to leave the castle and experience the world. he left her alone to see what she loved so much, only to come back and find that the people he’d come to like- the people lisa had loved so much it drove her to help in a way that got her killed- had burned her at the stake. i love a good tragedy, and that’s good tragedy

the way he weeps when he has to fight alucard?? during a showdown in their home?? the “i must already be dead” moment in alucard’s childhood bedroom??? when he speaks to lisa about killing their boy, her greatest gift to him??? poetic cinema.

the trio’s dynamic

three bisexuals with two total brain cells and only alucard bothers using them. incredible

i went so hard for this ot3. it's right there and so good

sypha

she initially seems to be assigned the role of the adult™️ ie she's the only woman and gets stuck being responsible, but surprise! she’s just as annoying and dumb as alucard and trevor. she dropped a castle she didn’t understand on the ground and didn’t think too hard about it. then she argued about breaking it. i love her

if we don’t get an ot3, then she needs to have a dumb gf

alucard

he's got a stupidly low neckline and lower pants. they really leaned into ayami kojima’s redesign, as they should have. his little curl annoys me, though. why the fuck does he have a random section of hair that’s like three inches long when the rest is shoulder length or longer? love that he really looks like lisa

if you say he's canonically bisexual and polyamorous, no he isn't. yes he is. no he isn't :)

trevor

disgusting. a nasty man whose appearance mirrors his state of mind. he's 50 mental illnesses in a dirty jacket and his coping mechanism is… alcohol? maybe? he’s a mess, and i dig it

him trying his trick of kneeing alucard in the balls during their fight? and finding out it doesn't work? (which…… why doesn't it……?) juvenile but suitable

hector

his love of animals makes him my favorite. normally, i won’t touch anything with this much animal death, but i’m willing to set that aside because hector loves them so much. he’s so sweet and kind, and he loves his monster pets

yes he sided with dracula and has some really fucked up ideas about what constitutes humane treatment of people, and yet i love him. 11/10, but i have a lot of notes

isaac

i support him, including his murdering and his decision to support dracula. dracula throwing him out of the castle to save him was so cruel in that it was an attempt at kindness from a man who hated the whole world, but it was against isaac’s wishes

his time with the captain was great

idk enough about islam to know if he's portrayed correctly and haven’t seen any complaints, but given the show’s track record……… i wouldn’t be surprised if it’s not great

the forging

very cool. fresh and interesting! hector creating pet friends is cute and heartbreaking. love isaac for his dedication to reducing, reusing, and recycling

season 2’s big battle with all those vampires

the new version of “bloody tears” is phenomenal

this goes back to the animation, but listen……. it's so good. i loved the smoke vampire, and alucard’s fluid wolf transformations. his flying sword looked really good, and incorporating them together? super good to watch. and trevor’s whip?

the type and level of violence are suitable for what it is. it would be weird for a gritty show like this to be bloodless, but i don't think it would work if it were bloody to the extent of a slasher. it's also more clean violence, if that makes sense. you don’t linger just to look at gore; you see it because stabbing someone spills blood. the games weren't about extended, gritty scenes of realistic murder, so the show sticking with quick, slice and dice type fights fit with what i remembered of them

please watch this fight if you don’t remember it or haven’t seen it (part 1, part 2)

trevor’s whips

trevor’s weapons don’t follow the physics of normal whips, and they shouldn't. they’re heavily stylized and clearly a fantasy weapon, but they still have rules that they (mostly) have to obey. his morning star-whip hybrid in particular is so good 

it’s easy to follow, too. a lot of times, speedy weapons disappear, which is an understandable effect but one i find boring because there’s nothing for me to do. i’m just sitting on my ass with nothing to do

trevor’s whips don’t disappear. they’re fast, but you can always see them. and they have weight! you can see them slow down and gain speed. i don’t need physics to be real; i want movement to be pleasing, and that’s exactly what i get with the whips

don’t like:

fridging lisa

she could have been kidnapped (possibly make dracula think she was dead bc people want to lure out her scary demon husband, idk), then s2 could have ended with her and dracula reuniting as he died. she and alucard go on a trip together to attempt to make amends for the pain dracula wrought in lisa’s name. orrrr she dies a tragic death with him and we’re left to hope that they find each other in the afterlife. do vampires get to go to the afterlife? can alucard reintegrate? can he be happy with his new friends? or will he go back to his crypt and sleep again? will he ever be rediscovered? if so, what will he do? deep questions. i would prefer to cogitate on these instead of experiencing the shitshow that is s3

season 3

they should have ended it with dracula’s death. the quality of storytelling goes down immediately. just plummets. i’m sure there were problems in the first two seasons, but this one is so bad, i genuinely can’t remember

but i may as well get specific, so here we go:

abandoning alucard

trevor and sypha leave their friend alone in his childhood home where he just killed his father. where they helped him kill his father who, as i’ve said too many times, raised literal hell to get revenge for people burning alucard’s mother to death

yt they don’t talk about alucard. they don’t make any plans to touch base ever again. trevor’s entire family got killed. sypha’s culture, from which she’s now estranged, is family-centric. if ever two people should give a shit about alucard and know why alucard shouldn’t be left on his own, it's them

so what the hell is going on?

trevor and sypha’s relationship

look. it could be good. it would be better with alucard but they could be together and it could work fine

but this……….

trevor hates what they're doing. he hates traveling around and fighting. he's clearly tired and deeply depressed

sypha not only doesn't care enough to address it (did they forget the first two seasons?? sypha is annoying partly because she doesn't stop poking people) she might not even notice? yes, she's having fun, but trevor is basically dead on his feet in front of her

racism

hector, sumi, and taka all got done dirty 

sumi and taka

i hate the way they died. i hate that i’m certain that the plot won’t bring japan back into the narrative (or if it does, i don’t trust it not to be shitty). i hate the fact that by killing them off, i’m not going to get any more of them. they were interesting!!

speaking of the japanese vampire: the biphobia, arguably, given what happens with alucard

the addition of sexual violence

i don’t need or want lenore. if all she’d done was manipulate hector, i could have lived with that. she’s a villain, so she does bad things. that’s the point. but what she did was a massive escalation. we hadn’t had any sexual violence, and then the last few episodes gave us 

tumblr feminists who love her for how she treated hector need to be quarantined until their brain worms have been cured

everything that happens to hector

what was this shit? why did i open my netflix app and tap castlevania and find them making this man walk around naked in the cold to torture him? and starving him? he got manipulated, degraded, chained up, collared like an animal, and raped. and why? to show us how bad lenore is? that the other vampires are bad because they let her do it? i didn’t sign up for this

the holocaust reference

the imagery at the end of s3 when it’s revealed that the judge has been killing people he’s decided are undeserving to live and collecting their shoes in that barn was chillingly close to images of shoes taken from victims of the holocaust. there's no reason to invoke the holocaust here. it’s unnecessary and in bad taste

[purplesurveys]

1042

survey by egooverdose

Apple Cinnamon: Do you like anything with this flavor? I don’t recall doing so...I like some cinnamon in my desserts, but I think if you threw some apples in there I might back away.

Berlin: What is a foreign country|city you would like to visit? My dream vacation overall is Morocco or Iceland. If we’re talking in terms of what is probably more accessible to me at the moment, I’d love to go to Thailand.

Bill Kaulitz: What do you think of his hairstyle(s)? Oh my godddddddd I haven’t heard this name in a HOT MINUTE lol Andi was completely bonkers over Tokio Hotel and also unhealthily obsessed with Bill’s twin, Tom. When she showed me photos of Bill, my 11 year old self definitely thought his hair was a tad bit too wild but I didn’t judge it or hate him or anything like that.

Bleak Landscapes: What is your favorite type of landscape? Looking into mountains has always had a calming effect on me. That’s why it’s my desktop wallpaper.

Blogging: When was the last time you updated your blog? Idk, by the time I finish and post this survey it probably would turn up to be around half an hour since I posted the last one.

Body Language: Can you generally tell how someone is feeling by his or her body language? Are you good at this? I’ve usually had a good eye for it, yes. I’ve seldom been wrong about it; though to be honest, it’s easiest and quickest to tell when someone is upset, than any other emotion. My radar is strongest for that haha.

Books: What book would you recommend, and what makes it so good? I’d recommend to turn this question over to other survey-takers who read way more than I do and have better books to suggest.

Cairo: Is there any place with an ancient culture that fascinates you? All ancient cultures fascinate me but if given the choice, I would jump at the chance to visit Pompeii.

Carbohydrates: How many grams of carbs, approximately, have you had today? I don’t count those or any of the other stuff in food, so I wouldn’t even know where to begin.  

Coffee: What is one hot beverage that you like? Mmm, never been a big fan of hot drinks. There are drinks that are meant to be hot, like hot chocolate, that I would order because there’s no other alternative; but what I’d do is wait for it to cool down until it was room temp. I just really don’t like the feeling of something hot touching my mouth, especially after I completely burned the roof of my mouth eating freshly-cooked takoyaki.

Cold: When was the last time you were cold? Right now. Christmas weather has finally made itself at home and I’m not complaining about it.

CSS: Do you know any programming languages? Nope. Not my territory at all.

Emptiness: What is something you like when it is empty? How about full? Nothing relieves me more than seeing my to-do list with all the items crossed out by the end of my shift. If we’re talking of full, it feels great when my gas tank is that :D

Endearing Stereotypes: What are some stereotypes you think are funny? I don’t really find stereotypes funny; I think a great deal of them silently reinforce a lot of hurtful thinking for most groups. One stereotype I’ll hand a pass to, though, just because I’ve lived and continue to live through it and because it feels nice to poke fun at it once in a while, is the ridiculous strictness of Asian parents. That’s a lighter stereotype that’s easier to have a chuckle over; Sindhu Vee’s stand-up work on Indian parenting (”Did you put two spoons of chocolate in your milk? Fine, I am going to go beat myself up. Enjoy your milk”) has me rolling every time because it’s so relatable.

Explanations: When was the last time you were confused about something? This morning when I had a slight, harmless misunderstanding with a client. It was resolved relatively quickly.

Expression: What is your favorite way to creatively express yourself or do you even do this? The most creative thing I do nowadays is embroidery, but even the ones I work with already have a template. I’ve never been creative enough in that I can craft things from thin air.

Fog: Do you like fog, or do you find it bothersome? It’s extremely bothersome when I have to drive through it, but if I’m staying in then it can feel super cozy seeing fog. Fuck, I miss going to colder places :(

Foreign Cultures: What is your heritage? Are you interested in learning more about it? I’m fairly certain I am pure Filipino, maybe a very thin chance of having Spanish blood if my ancestors got into inter-marriages with foreigners but I highly doubt the possibility. I’m already Filipino, so I already know a great deal about my own history.

Foreign Music: Do you listen to music in other languages? Name a band? Yes. English. I’ll go with my fave, Paramore.

Free-Writing: When was the last time you wrote just for the sake of it? September. I didn’t really keep my journaling habit that I thought I was gonna get to develop, and I ended up writing only two entries.

Germanic Languages: What language do you think sounds the most beautiful? What about powerful?   Spanish or Italian. Idk if there’s a language that I think sounds powerful.

Germany: Do you think Grammar Nazis come from there? :D Ba dum tssssssssssssss

Hello Kitty: Did you ever watch the animated show? Nah, I wasn’t into Hello Kitty and Sanrio in general. My cartoon show of choice was Spongebob.

Hoodies: What is your "comfort|security" clothing item of choice? My favorite pair of mom jeans that I probably overuse at this point.

Horror Films: Do you like watching scary movies by yourself, in the dark? Not anymore, but I did this a lot in high school when I had been more into my horror movie phase.

HTML: Do you know what HTML stands for? Do you know any funny acronyms? Hypertext Markup Language. Not really. Most of the acronyms I use are slang or shortcuts and aren’t really supposed to be funny per se.

Icons: Do you collect any icons, graphics, or quotes? What sites do you use? No.

Imaginative Streaks: When was the last time you created something? I created a deck for work yesterday, if it counts.

Irises: When you see that word, do you think of the flower or the part of the eye? I thought of the eyes first.

[poptod]

Dreams of Valhalla

Description: AU, Shelton and Sledge meet in a downtown bar and head back to Sledge’s place for drinks.

Notes: yeah idk what happened here. I tried writing in a different style but I have, quite literally, no idea what to think of it. anyway, enjoy this lil drabble :) some smut but absolutely not graphic in any way.

Word Count: 2.5k

Red lights blink in the distance. Down, down, the rain falls, landing like blessings on streets. Cast across like clouds stretched too thin, streetlights reflect in the black pools gathering in the dips of the cement. Underneath his feet the tiny pebbles crunch. They are here. They are always here, dancing eternally in the night that remains forever young, a dream of a life that lives off indulgence. In the moonlight he opens the door, clutching himself so tight that nails dig hard into his skin. As the music fills his head, swarming around him as wine swirls in the system, fingernails relax leaving only the memory of deep creases.

He sits alone, drinking a golden fire that burns his throat and warms his stomach. Swirling his glass, glancing in every corner, he watches those sparks in the eyes of dancers, dissipating into the haze of peach smoke. Fogged away, more vague than shadow and more shadow than person. He sits alone.

From laughter and fumbling men dark skin emerges, shrouded in purple silk, coated in marks and scars. Sunlight, that's his scar. Red and black. He isn't noticed - ever one to thrive in the back, soft like wings of birds that only ever fall south.

Fingertips drag across the wood, cold as circles of precipitation run up the edges. Moonlight pouring through sugar pane, lacing in shadow and glint. He looks up, up thin waist and sharp collarbones, up cutting jaw till eyes tangle in cold. Cold, cold to see, cold to the touch. Blue, green, and grey. Grey and violet - tap, tap, fingernails tap against wood and his breath leaves him.

You look lonely, words brush past rose lips, mumbled and unsure, broken and poised. He stares, he doesn't know how else to live, saying nothing as he sits. He sits across from, hands on the table and reaching for his world as leaves reach for sunlight - an endless dance of too much and not enough.

You're no different, he replies, purposelessly rough, uncharacteristically warm. He intakes sharp breath, edges of tender lips winking upwards so slightly he wonders how he sees it.

The both of us together... guess we ain't lonely no more, past a smile the words sing, obvious and muddled in holy space that sees no saint. No martyr knows their name, no angel blesses their presence. No. No, this is no place for saints. A gathering of unworthy, a company of those who dream only of being who they are not.

You're... glaze over his collarbones, the shadow of his clavicle deep, stubble against skin and sharp beneath kisses he cannot pray to know. You'd make a good model. For art, I mean.

Comin' on to me, are ya?

Wouldn't dream of it.

Oh, he can't bear to meet such sharp an eye, can't know the way his chest fills and deflates, not when his words spit like fire and fog all at once. I bet you would... wouldn't you?

He doesn't work, but silence says more than words ever can.

You'd love to dream of it. Pausing, mouth open and pink tongue tracing along lipped ridges. Dream of me, whisper in flushed cheeks, rapid eyes glance. Glance along skin, trace an outline souls dare not fill. Snafu - called by name, know nothing but insanity, thrive only in chaos.

He speaks his own name, mouthing the word like he's never spoken before. Every movement precise. Listen intently, he detests what he owns, detests all he is, listens too close. Too intent. So eyes still shine - scattered stars amongst unholy life, brighter spirit from blackened waste. Blackened death.

Nice name, says cold composure, written abhorrence clear as nothing ever is. Jumping chemicals and twisting romance to be decay as life. Mean not what you say, say not a lie; sorrowful, be soft, be tender.

And what's yours?

I already said.

No, he murmurs, you didn't. Snafu is a broken name, broken as stained glass, beautiful and radiant and horribly cutting. Bleed down the colors, wash away your light, Snafu is not a name. It is a title above all else, a category, a label. Not who he is, but full spirit lifts away cloaks in locked away rooms.

Hesitant, hesitant to speak, careful to reveal - Merriel, be Snafu or Merriel - swarm his head and be brave, thought-full forest.

You don't seem the type to come here, says Snafu and Merriel. Intoxicate his system, lock away inhibitions, enter whiskey-fire words. Scotch, Eugene corrects, and it burns down his throat, swelling warm.

I only visit every now and then, says Eugene, still alight with liquid fire, glowing in red light, dim in tarry cigarettes. Peach smoke, low and high, she lives forever in red light.

Lean forward, closer and closer, bear the heat and beg for the nearer. I'm lucky then, says Snafu, warped in his tone and drowned in quiet anticipation. Be free, but be quiet, and do not speak of your leisure. The thought-full forest awaits his return.

I wouldn't consider you lucky, says Eugene in words that slip too easy.

I am...

to see such a pretty sight, he murmurs, ghosts crawling over his skin like satin flowers, brushing against long eyelash and parted lips. No, not like this - blood cannot rush past his skin and taint his demeanor - not like this.

Now you're the one comin' onto me, says Eugene with a too-clear laugh, clearing his throat when humor twinkles effortlessly in Merriel's eyes. Broken memories aren't strange, to float in endless intemperance, but he is strange. Too common, and not familiar, unduly queer if not bizarre. Crystal glass still shines, glints in red light, raining like acid and persimmon sugar. Humor twinkles in Merriel - instability holes itself in Snafu. And Eugene, who remains as he always was.

And if I am?

No reply, no reply, no thought. It's so dark, red highlights along cheek and jaw, brow and lip - soft, ever enduring, halting his breath. No reply comes, not when he waits, not in patience.

Oh, Snafu leans impossibly closer, you're a virgin, aren't you?

No, replies Eugene too fast, caught in horrid surprise. Twitching, twitched eyelid, fingers still tap, tap, against hard wood, short nails sharp against water ringlets.

Forgive me fa' doubtin' you, but, drag hard gaze up chest, imprinting sacred echoes on pale skin, ya look... innocent. One a' the reasons I came up t' you.

Sorry to disappoint, says Eugene with a curt smile, tight fingers an aftermath of a war he fought too long ago.

Don't worry 'bout it, Merriel murmurs, touching for the first time his hand, reaching tendrils of rot through forest green, poisoning innocence with flowered offense. You're far more interestin' than my company.

Lean forward - grow closer, be nearer. Who's your company, asks he in quiet words.

Over there, see, says he, pressing cheek against cheek, guide vision to vision. Dance in crimson haze, swarmed with insobriety, strangers dance with one another in a sight yet rarely seen. They're all drunk as hell.

And you aren't?

He parts from him, but we remain close. Twirl and twinkle. Nose nearly touches his, a pure reflection of self in the glassiness of his close eye.

No, says Merriel, soft, but the smell of whiskey is on his word. Not yet.

Planning on it?

Only if I don't got a shot with you.

Eugene leans back. Moonlight is dark, but glints in the glass. Red still shines in his drink.

So? Merriel asks, unmoving, mouth parted.

So what? He almost challenges, edge of lips quirking up, slight and intrinsic.

Should I get drunk... or do I have a shot?

At what? Teasing - lilt, tease, quirk your eyes - it's all the same in him. Merriel adores that, Snafu finds a competition that exists nowhere else. The most exciting game. And he finishes; breaking out into a smile. How loving the smile that crosses him, how uncharacteristically loving, but Eugene does not need to know.

You're playing with me, he smiles true, aren't you?

Come back to my place, for the evening, suggests Eugene, rarely one to know a stranger. We'll see where the drinks lead us.

Got good liquor at your place, hm? says Merriel, who drinks carefully, warped lips against crystal. Too slow, gold liquid slides down his tongue, savoring no flavor - only time. Only time.

Better than here.

Really? Why come here then?

Better company, Eugene shuts his eyes, perhaps the first time tonight. Too entranced to look away, can skin bear the sun so long?

I am not one to turn down good drink, Snafu stands, Eugene trails eye up thin waist again, over slender fingers, against dipped collar bones, nor good company.

Be quiet, be still, but ask of me no silence - ask your intrigue what it trusts. Is this beautiful? Is that possible? Maybe, maybe the stars still shine, and they do. Scattered and meaningless, but they stand the same - that's alright, Eugene knows. Be peace within yourself; commit no adultery. Is it that? What's the name, with no label, no Snafu, no Merriel, no Eugene.

Tread onwards, feet steady. Stare in modesty, tell your trust, ask for her forgiveness. Good kiss, gentle kiss, lay upon her brow foretold woe. Be quiet, be still, and ask of me no silence.

Sing in the streets - rain beats mellow, hold another close, is there love in you? Blazes die every day but let him live, let him survive to know another. What eyes, streetlight reflections in meadow and stone. What beautiful eyes. Ancient eyes built on holy ground, a young face no one knows. Lead me home, says Merriel, but does not speak the words. Merriel, do not stray from me. Know the hymn, pray for salvation - be quiet, be still beating hearts, in tune with all the world.

Here, then? he asks at the black door, and Eugene reaches for the gold handle.

Photographs, worn and new line every hallway, great collections of flowers in vases and frames all the same. Too quiet, yet not tense - offer him your drink, honey and gold rolls down his cheek. Almost grateful, sit across from one another. No, don't let anxieties run course, don't free your sin, sit peaceful. Tumultuous thought, but sit peaceful.

You're right, says Merriel, his first sip burning cool in his mouth, y' do have better liquor.

Of course I do. I don't lie. Remember that about me, says Eugene, if Merriel will remember him at all.

Won't be the only thing I remember 'bout you, says he, biting at his lip till it pops, falling to pout in plum red. Kiss him, or dream of it - all the same they remain as they are, caught in limbo. Reach for him, not too fast, but hasten your speed; the night fades and love does not last, not beside perjury.

When daydream ends and reality splits, he can't see - nor can Snafu, through wide eyes none know the truth. Drink, touch, but only grace; not heavenly, not hellish, just human. Human. Yes, touch of theirs is human, trailing up freckled skin and scarred shadow. Mark him as yours. He belongs to no one, no soul - the night claims her prize, stumbling with alcohol-heavy footsteps up stairs and through hallways.

Ensnare passion in one moment, where the mist shatters and both sun and moon shine too bright in their eyes. He digs his nails, deep, deep, deep into dark skin, imprinting touch and memory into Snafu's waist. Shirk duty, and shirk responsibility - gentle and hurried clothes drop from shoulders, hips, piling on the floor as they move onwards. Tangled in affections too potent he falls, landing on plush blanket, surrounded by Eugene's golden light, caught in the ardor he glows.

Fuck, murmurs Snafu, stuck in mid-air as lips press against his bare chest, electrifying and lulling all at once. Tug at his hair, harsh, pull him upwards - he does that. Fingers interlock with auburn hair, forcing him away from concentration on task and towards love of a subject. Eugene asks, is this alright, not knowing it's too right. Merriel is far from broken and far from whole. Kindness is not foreign, no, not a foreign idea, though kindness for him is.

I might havet' keep ya, Merriel whispers, stroking down his cheek, fingers designed to hold only him. Born to know only his touch. He's crafted from brimstone, to touch the heavens unknown and unexpected; it makes him all the more overwhelmed.

How many times, asks Eugene, leaning back down, tugging with teeth at soft and scarred skin all the same, are you planning on trying to seduce me?

As many times as it takes, he answers, pulling closer, closer still - to tell where one ends and the other begins, be at peace, but do not be still - pull him closer. No light, none at all, but dull streetlight, distant songs ringing through empty streets, breezing past an open window. Too much and not enough, pull him closer. Closer still.

Grind, push and pull, grow closer, let yourself be warped - let inactivity and apathy shove you away - let yourself be entwined. He does, he does, but remains quiet. Don't let them hear, close the doors, close the windows - don't let them hear. Be mine, whisper unknown fondness. Yearn, or beg, ask for his touch, let him grow nearer. Let him lead, don't push, pull, grow nearer.

Fuck, fuck, I need you, mumbles Eugene, desperate as claw marks drag their path down his back, over muscle and spine, reaching to hips and pulling him closer.

Got a funny way a' showin' it, Merriel says, grinning too-satisfied when Eugene glares. He isn't a tease - not by his definition. Perhaps he doesn't move enough. Or too much. Cold eyes remain on his at all times, and the intensity of cold heat melts both composure and sense. Be still, beating heart, tango, do not lose yourself. She watches in red-tainted water, let her know - let her exist. It's alright, will it always be alright?

Two definitions, one label, three names, but do not lie to him. Souls cannot know the peace of another without sacrifice, so sacrifice his peace Eugene does - Merriel sacrifices a title, no doubt in his choice, immediate and irreversible. Permanent, for one night. For forever, for one evening. Do you understand? Can you hear the thoughts that make us ill? Can you remember your story?

No peace, no sanity, just surrender - he surrenders control, twirling through adoration till Merriel rests above him, stroking down his cheekbone, down his jawline and to his shoulder. Too familiar, not safe enough - stay sane, stay sane, stay sane - no, be still. Be known. And he lets himself be known by one who knows no others but himself. Venerate one another and say not a word, not another word, let him kneel before you. Let him worship the unholy, praise the unworthy; it's alright Merriel.

He says, sings, his name like a broken hymn, over and over, do not stray from me. Tears swell in the corner of cold eyes, overstimulated and overbearing, fingers tight around wrist and hip. Hold him close, nearer still, be tender. Lose peace and gain it all in a single moment - cry and rejoice in one second - forget all and know all in only an instant. 

Rest upon his bed, wander his thought-full forest. Light tarry cigarette, blow peach smoke, love in red haze. Rain still reflects light like persimmon sugar, do not be afraid, never love alone, be human and never lose that vehemence.