#maybe that’s naive of me but who gives a shit i like being an optimist

[super-license]

i can’t believe people are really surprised about the charles extension rumors like that man doesn’t pour his blood sweat and tears into that team at every second. you’re fundamentally missing the whole point of his career if you think he’s just gonna up and walk away from ferrari.

[kotylynnemerrill]

Okay y'all....here is the rest of ch. 1...or just another little section. Tbh I'm still not sure how I want this to flow but I'm working through the process.

Y'all know the drill 😁

Your words I hold forever

************* ❤️**********

11:52

Fez isn't sure how long it's been...how long they've been sitting here, but it must be getting close to midnight judging by the sudden surge in the party's energy. He's doesn't really care to be honest.

He focuses on her voice...the way her mouth moves as she speaks and Fez isn't entirely sure she's not giving him some sort of high from her presence alone or if the joint he just finished is finally kicking in.

Maybe she's a siren he thinks as his blue eyes flitter up to her brown ones...now bright and hypnotizing. Her guard is down, obviously in her element as she talks.

Lexi Howard is in fact a wealth of random knowledge and he loves it. She speaks about Christians stealing Christmas from the Germanic pagans, about how King James was rewriting the Bible while also trying to turn his pee into gold...whether or not Johnson would be successful in limiting the Soviet power in southeast Asia.

Fez wasn't necessarily a pessimist but neither was he optimistic when it came to the current governments abilities. Lexi was hopeful though despite agreeing with him. Like most of America, she was not so sure morally it was a great idea that the US got involved in the war in Vietnam.

The war had already caused a lot of devastation in the effort to stop the spread of communism...a lot of devastation economically as well.

This led to them talking about God and yet again Fez is surprised by this woman sitting next to him.

"Do you, like, not believe in God then?" Lexi shakes her head no...Fez calls her fearless. She laughs a little at this.

" I wouldn't say that...more like I'm guided by my severe discomfort of religion in general. I mean you look at all the shitty things happening in the world right now...I don't see how this person...this being who has all this power...power to stop the war...and all this unnecessary death, but doesn't. And we're just supposed to put all our faith in him? Say he works in mysterious ways and it's his will. It's cruel. I don't know if I'd want someone like that in charge of the entire universe or judging me for my actions for that matter." She heaves a sigh. "I'm not naive though...I realize that..."

"You don't gotta explain yourself. I get what you're sayin." Fez grins playfully. "I know by now you ain't one of those flower girls."

"you mean flower children?" Lexi laughs at the name bestowed upon the free loving group of people...also called hippies.

"Yeah...I'm not one of those either."

Lexi is all white teeth as she playfully nudges fez's worn leather loafer with her dark heel.

"Do you believe in God?" She asks quietly.

"Hell yeah I believe in God." Fez looks up towards the ceiling as if he could sense the 'big guy' looking down on them.

"Like there's a man sitting in the clouds...judging all your actions?"

"Hell yeah."

"Really?" Her eyebrows are raised and eyes wide. Not judging but genuinely curious.

"I mean...I look at it like this. We all do shit and eventually we gotta answer for it...the whole cost of havin free will and shit... balance. Ain't nobody exempt from that... especially not me. I've done things I've got to answer for you feel me? I've had to do what I had to - I ain't blamin anyone else for that shit though. But I don't think we're totally damned either."

Lexi tilted her head thoughtfully. "I'm still not a hundred percent on board but I see your point." Fez raises his hands, and slightly tilted his head as if to say 'well I tried '.

"You here with anybody?"

Lexi scrunches her nose again...annoyed...as if just remembering why she was here in the first place... remembering the source of her stress earlier.

"I was supposed to meet my sister here...she was supposed to ride back home with me after the party, but I'm pretty sure she ditched me."

"That's a shame. I'm real sorry to hear that. She's missing out" Fez flicked his eyes towards the crowd of dancing bodies. Wondered if she would join him for a dance...not that he was much of a dancer...but maybe...

"Ehh," Lexi gave a half-hearted shrug, "not really. I'm pretty boring. That's why none of my other friends bothered to come except Rue..." Lexi pauses, her brows furrowing in thought. "I haven't seen her either tonight."

Fez felt guilts chains tug at him again hearing this. She should be hanging out with Rue tonight...maybe if he had just kept a closer eye on her she wouldn't be..he didn't want to think about where she had gotten to...or what she was more than likely doing.

As hard as it was...he told himself again, tonight - whatever Rue was up to, was not his fault.

He turned his attention back to Lexi and the way her full lips were down turned. He wanted to see her smile again. If he made her smile...said a prayer before bed tonight, like his grandmother taught him...maybe God would be gracious enough to grant him protection and the will to get through what was to come in the coming months.

"What do you mean boring...you're like the coolest person here."

Lexi blanches at this, and furiously begins to denying what was obviously, in Fez's correct opinion, nothing but pure facts.

"Why would I lie?" Her cheeks are crimson again and she unsuccessfully tries to hide it (and the wide smile) behind her slender hand.

Fez could get used to this. He was definitely gonna make a conscious effort to pray more often... everyday in fact, if it would allow him to see her smile like this.

"...thanks." she folds her hands back in her lap again seemingly giving up on trying to hide the effect he had on her.

Yeah...he would pray everyday for the rest of his life if need be.

"Yo I gotta cut soon, but...I just wanted to tell you that...talking to you was one of the best parts of my whole year."

"Yeah right..." Lexi huffs and Fez feels his chest clench in agitation. Had no one ever told her how special she clearly was...how magical...

"Why you always do that shit?"

"What?"

"Like... doubting yourself and shit."

"Oh. Ion know...do I do that?"

"Mm... kinda." Fez let's his eyes flick over her before leaning foward, bracing his hands on his knees.

Courage...Courage...Courage...

"I really liked talkin to you tonight...for real. I'd like to do it again sometime."

Something shines in Lexi's eyes as she stares at him. Something warm and determined...like she had found the missing puzzle piece...and wasn't going to let it go.

"Yeah...me too."

[angst-fairygodmother]

Hi I was wondering if I could request a Luther X Sloane cliches and tropes #33 please

A/N: Hello Nonny! It’s taken me a while to get here, but I give you what will hopefully be the first of many Luther/Sloane fics. This was a good prompt for them, because it fits really well into the canon, so I was able to find their voices and relationship before I dip into the ones that might take more of an AU, so thank you for that as well. I hope you enjoy! Word Count: 1092 Rating: T - implied smut/suggestive themes; Spoilers for The Umbrella Academy s3; minor instances of self-hatred and body image issues; cheese

Sure, the Sparrows had attacked them, Ben had swung the first hit at Klaus (for no reason, Klaus was just being Klaus). But he couldn't really blame them. After all, it wasn't that long ago (just a year and two time jumps, practically no time at all) that he would have done the same thing if a gang of black-clad wackadoos had shown up in the living room, without half the shit they'd said today. It was what Hargreeves were trained to do. And it wasn't like anyone got hurt…Seriously hurt…they recovered. 

It made total sense. It was perfectly rational. But he still wanted to kick their smug…smugness into next week (or let Five do it since he was most likely to manage to do actually that). 

Except for one. He'd only caught glimpses, not able to track any one enemy, or ally, through the chaos, but when he did there was something about her that felt like it was pulling him in. She was the Earth to his Moon. He needed to see her again. 

Being kidnapped wasn’t exactly the ideal way to meet a potential partner, but Luther was nothing if not an optimist. And the smile she gave him when the Sparrows approached wasn’t like Ben’s smirk or the bird-woman’s scowl. It was sweet, and it stayed that way. As they talked about their dreams (those absent wishes of someone who didn’t really get to choose their own destiny), and their interests, and the moon, there was no judgment or hesitation. She looked at him like he was whole and human and…maybe even handsome. He wanted to stay, just for her.

~

“Everyone thinks I should stay away from you because you’re dangerous,” Sloane murmured, almost absently while she drew hearts on his chest with his fingers. 

“That’s funny,” he chuckled awkwardly, even though it really wasn’t that funny at all. “My siblings said the same thing about you.”

He didn’t feel like he needed to flinch away from her gaze or her touch, especially after what had just happened between them. It was a new feeling and one he wanted to bask in, and the hazy post-coital glow that probably helped. But Sloane sat up suddenly, pushing away from him with a fire in her eyes, and…nope there it was again, the urge to hide himself away behind high walls and thick woolen coats. 

“What?” She looked shocked, angry, and worst of all, hurt.

“Yeah, my family thinks that yours is evil and that I'm naively falling for a honeytrap and that you're going to turn on me and kill all of us or something. Which is ridiculous.” 

“Us?! Your family is the one full of murderers! Or have you already forgotten Alphonso and Jayme? And probably Marcus. And JFK…somehow. I should be the one worried you're going to turn on me!”

“I already told you, Harlan wa–” he sighed, cutting himself off. “Actually, it doesn't matter. I promise you Sloane, I love my family, but I won't betray you for them, I promise. I would never. I…”

He couldn't finish the words. He was scared to. Some Number One. He couldn't keep his family from fighting each other. He had fallen in love with the enemy (even though he thought it was stupid to see them as the enemy, or maybe that was another point against him) and was too much of a coward to tell her. Reginald had been right, always, about Luther's flaws. 

But of course he loved her. Sloane was so…perfect. She was beautiful and powerful and so much smarter than him (than any of his siblings probably, except maybe Five). She was funny, in the same awkward way that spoke to his own sense of humor. She loved travel and reading poetry. She was actually interested in his stories about the moon. She never flinched from his touch or questioned his appearance. And she was so incredibly kind. Anyone would be stupid not to love her. 

And maybe, if he could just find the words to tell her, to tell the whole world, or what was left, the others would understand. His family and hers. And they’d be able to be together. 

“Luther,” the way she said his name made him feel like he was flying, and he wanted to hold onto it forever. “I love you too.” 

“You…” he felt like his brain couldn’t catch up with the rest of reality. His heart raced and his tongue felt clumsy and too big. He thought he might be dying. And he never wanted it to stop. “You do?”

“Yeah, of course I do. I wouldn’t have snuck you in here after everything if I didn’t.”

“I…that’s great! I mean me too. Love you. I love you, too.” She giggled as he stumbled over his words and flushed red. “Sorry. I sound stupid. I’ve just, never had someone say they love me before.”

“You don’t sound stupid, Luther. I wish you wouldn’t talk about yourself like that.”

“I…sorry.”

“It’s okay, just something you have to work on, maybe we can do it together? Because you’re pretty amazing, and you should treat yourself like it.” 

“How are you so perfect?”

“Oh…I’m not perfect…”

He cradled her face gently in his big hands so that he could kiss her softly, their mouths melting together with a sigh. “Yes you are, and I love you, and I want to shout it from the rooftops, except we’re trying to sneak around right now. But someday, soon.” 

It was Sloane’s turn to blush, cheeks heating adorably as she smiled up at him. “I’d like that. As soon as we figure out how to fix our families.” 

“Right. We should probably get back to that then?”

She looked thoughtful before leaning in again, so that her breath tickled his face. “It’s late, and we can’t do anything until morning…so it could probably wait a little while, if you wanted to do something else…” 

His eyebrows scrunched as he thought, her meaning somehow going over his head despite their respective positions and nakedness.

“Just kiss me again Luther, please?”

“Oh. Oh, yeah, I can definitely do–”

She laughed as she cut him off, rolling them both so that she sat across his hips while she kissed him, pressing their bodies close. They could figure out the future and their families and whatever else the universe threw their way in the morning. For now, for tonight, it was just the two of them and their love and the full moon through the windowpane.

[ravenadottir]

just a quick storytime but during the holidays, we had our family gathering and i don't usually talk to anyone else aside from my cousin. but during that time, she just broke up with her ex bc he cheated on her. so i felt bad and consoled her the entire time and tried to make her feel better and let her know that she deserves someone who wouldn't treat her like shit. but THEN just recently the got back together and im so close to giving her the same speech i did during the holidays.

this honestly reminded me of a post you made way back then about the mc cheating on the li but i was wondering would they ever take the mc back? and how long would it take before they think of the incident as a thing of the past?

ok, about your cousin... i've been there before. i've been cheated on, and i've been you in this scenario.

eventually i realized when people go back together is because that's what they need in that moment. even if it's a mistake, sometimes it's a mistake that needs to be made by her. i just hope things go smoothly after this.

now, about the islanders:

would never take a cheater back:

lucas. even though he's cheated in the past, he knows the head space that the person has to be in to do it. he wouldn't be able to forgive or forget.

lottie. as someone who takes pride of being so loyal, there's no second chances with her. to her it's the ultimate betrayal and the person would have to be prepared for the screaming match ahead.

kassam. not only wouldn't forgive he would also be firm and monossylabic about it. leaving is the best he can do and he will. it's almost as if she was dead to him.

carl. he's categorically sincere and wouldn't waste another second listening to what she has to say. "i don't care your reasoning behind it. this isn't one of those things that i can forgive and forget. you're always gonna look like someone who hurt me, that will never change.", brute and direct.

elisa. yeah, no, there's no excuses. she puts cheating on "the other person not knowing my value" and she would never allow that to happen a second time.

considering for a hot second but not going there:

bobby. cheating would destroy him. it really would. the thought of someone consciously making that decision is truly unforgiveable. and he mentioned on day 1 someone had done it to him before, there's no excuse that would change his mind.

gary. there are no second chances, and especially after going through in the past, and her knowing that? there's no way he could find in his heart to forgive her, as much as he tried.

marisol. after the villa i feel like she has become more compassionate, to the point of thinking it over instead of going straight to no, but eventually cheating takes a toll on her.

noah. this might be the most divided he could ever be. on one hand that's how they got together, and he was as much involved in it as she was. on the other hand, he knows that's at least the second time she has cheated. even if she promised the world to him eventually he wouldn't stay with her.

priya. nope. she has betrayed people before, and made many mistakes. she knows the person needs to grow on their own to be able to be loyal eventually and it's not her job to stick around and wait for it to happen.

take her back:

henrik. but it would take a really long time for him to trust them again. there wouldn't be any easy roads to take with him, and the thought of possibly happening again hovers his head a lot. if she was invested in never repeating that mistake he could forgive her, but she would have a lot to show.

ibrahim. he knows sometimes things happen in the heat of the moment, possibly not having a deeper meaning. what he went through with jo might be the thing that keeps him from breaking up.

hannah. maybe it's naive of her to forgive, but she hasn't been in many relationships, and is still relatively young. she's definitely more optimistic about it than most people would be, and if she thinks the girl will do better then... why not trying again? it would take her some time to forgivem but i reckon she would.

[bistaxx]

i hope you don’t mind me rambling in your inbox!! no pressure to respond <3 but your c!q manberg takes are so true…. im an avid manberg-era lover almost Exclusively because of big q because. he just cares so much. he proved again and again that he put manberg first in his mind but he tried his best to keep the people he loved too and i really do think he wanted schlatt to work out up until the white house!! he just doesn’t give up on anything easily you know

he wasn’t there for l’manberg’s establishment he didn’t experience any of the highs and lows of the war or develop bonds during it but he still Cared :( he tried to protect tubbo from schlatt even though he was just as scared of what schlatt might do as everyone else (if not more), he stuck by wilbur in pogtopia even though he knew wilbur was just getting worse, n he stuck by schlatt up until the white house where schlatt proved irrefutably that he really didn’t care abt what quackity wanted at all, and even worse, he didn’t care about what was best for manberg, and that was just the straw that broke the camels back, u know

like. he’s not stupid. quackity even before the butcher army could be scathing and analytical and he is at heart a politician in the same way wilbur is (which is smth wilbur actively acknowledges), he knew what schlatt was doing was fucked but he also tried to hold onto the hope that he could maybe fix it. and when he realised that it wasn’t going to happen— that he truly didn’t marry the man he thought he did— he took immediate action. a naive person’s first course of action upon being disillusioned isn’t Murder— that’s the sort of thing only someone who’s angry and bitter and Sick Of This Shit does!!

like. hope is not something that comes easy to quackity because there’s no reason for him to have it! hope is a thing he claws his way to with bloodied and bandaged hands and no safety net beneath him and it’s never worth it, not really. and he hopes less, now, but you can still see it, in how he fosters his relationships with tommy and slime and keeps the wedding chapel in las nevadas even though there’s no one around to use it. and yet still, hope, always and despite and because.

anyways stan c!quackity i guess *holds him gently like burger*

No feel free to ramble- you get it so much!!! I love his character so much and I feel Manberg showcases so many of his traits so well- He's keen and driven but he's also an emotional- at times even reactionary fellow who cares a lot and it's so clear in so many of his actions good and bad- it makes what happens to him in Manberg hurt so much more, he wanted to make it work so much... Like he wasn't super naïve but he just wanted to be a part of L'manburg, genuinely, he loved that place! And he wanted to be a part of it, to call it home! But all he got was empty promises, a figure-head title that meant nothing, and a fucked up damaged sense of self-esteem curtesy of the man he thought he was gonna have a future with- he tried to bear it and keep on pushing forward but eventually he just couldn't take it anymore, because Schlatt did not feel the same as him and that could not be changed as much as he wished otherwise.

Post-Manberg c!Q survived with a lot of his traits still mostly in tact, he's still a very clever politician type, still very active and always moving and spends as much time doing as he does planning and thinking, and as much as he tries to pretend otherwise he is still very much a man who cares about so much especially those close to him! But despite these consistencies there is something about c!Q in New L'manberg that is just different then the c!Q during Manberg, colder.

There was a bright optimistic spark that died with Manberg I feel, died in that White House perhaps... you don't survive what he went through without losing that, and that spark will never come back. I think he can heal, and I believe he will get a happy ending of some sort where he's able to be successful and happy with himself and a home- but he's never gonna be who he was before Manberg. Maybe c!Quackity views that as a lesson, but I think it's more of a tragedy...

But like you said though, while that optimism may be gone it's that love in him that seems to be unable to be snuffed out, he tells himself 'Las Nevadas' has no place for emotions' and yet we see how much he still cares for Tommy and Slime and Tubbo- It's just so intrinsic to who he is! Even when the world's against him he's still gonna fight- because he cares and that's all that matters! It's gotten him hurt before and lead him down the wrong path at times, but it's also his biggest redeeming and most important quality and makes his other traits shine so much more- Hope can be a scary thing but he still cares too much to just give in easily-

Yeag... He's jsut- my little patito 💛💛💛💛!

[forcefully-awoken]

This is for the BNHArem’s villain AU collab!

Gang Orca x Reader

Rated: Teen? Mature? This is new territory for me.

CW: Sex work, kidnapping, idk stockholm syndrome?

The corruption of Kugo Sakamata is not the prolonged, drawn out affair the news has portrayed it to be. It wasn’t quietly brewing under his skin, needled at by the whispers and stares that plagued him. He was a good man, up until the point where he wasn’t. He was a kind man, until something inside of him snapped. It was as fast as the moment the first domino falls. The goodness is there.

Until it isn’t.

There’s a car alarm blaring outside your apartment.

It’s been like this for weeks now. There’s nothing else to do but get up, to go about your life as though nothing has changed when everything is different. It’s almost time for your stream, you note as you walk by your kitchen, ignoring your grumbling stomach to turn on the tv first. It’s still on the news station, just like when you turned it off last night.

If you can’t save the world, you might as well listen to it crumble.

You move back to the kitchen, trying to figure out what you have that will make an even half way satisfying dinner. Fuck, it’s been weeks since you were able to get to the shops. You settle for some ramen with an egg and some questionable vegetables on top. Waiting for the water to boil you can hear the news trickling in.

**Breaking news: We have yet another report to add to the slew of attacks this month, this comes just days after we broadcast rumours of villains running rampant over the city. This spate of attacks has put the entire metropolitan area at a standstill, road closures and damaged property making it difficult for commuters to get to work in the morning. Road maintenance endeavour to do its best to keep the city running, but it seems futile when these attacks continue to increase. The entire city was brought to a standstill by the mysterious villain who has still not been named, but reports show they are nothing like we have ever experienced before.**

**One thing we know for sure: we can no longer rely on Heroes to protect us. The streets of our once-great city are no longer safe, we are no longer safe.**

The heroes? You can’t decide if the anchor is optimistically naive or just plain stupid. You snort, stirring the noodles into the boiling water. The heroes haven’t been seen in ages, the top ten falling one by one to more and more villains. You’ve even heard talk of heroes becoming the villains.

**Every day the crime toll continues to rise and we have no one here to protect us. The Hero Public Safety Commission assured us earlier in the week that the crime rate would go down, that the top Heroes are out there protecting our city, but if so, where are they? Is it really safe to go out anymore, who can we trust? Would you put your life in the hands of a Hero today? When they have proved our streets are no longer safe. We still have no information on what is going on, or who is involved but we must remain observant. We will continue to report the latest news as we receive it, but for now, we must implore you to heed the warnings of the city-wide curfew that is soon to be implemented. If anyone has any information on these occurrences in the city please send them to us or contact the police, you can remain anonymous. The safety of our citizens is what is most important, stay vigilant and don’t go out unless it is absolutely necessary.**

**One thing we know for sure: we can no longer rely on Heroes to protect us. The streets of our once-great city are no longer safe, we are no longer safe.**

“Yeah, no shit,” You talk back to the tv, preparing your dinner before walking carefully over to the couch with it. You want to turn it to a different channel, see if anything happier is on but you don’t. Can’t. You tell yourself it’s plain need, that you have to check to make sure it’s not your apartment in the path of destruction.

Lies.

You can’t turn it off because you don’t want to. You don’t want to because it’s become an addiction, like watching videos of disasters on the internet. Your food burns the roof of your mouth when you shovel it in but you can hardly tell. Ugh. You’ll need to go shopping this week.

Setting the dishes in the sink for later you turn the tv off, resigning yourself to an excursion this week. It’s not apocalyptic outside yet, but you don’t want to turn the risk of getting mugged, or worse. Whatever you need can wait until tomorrow though, you think, stepping into your bathroom to shower, put on some makeup for your stream.

Streaming isn’t exactly how you thought you would make money but it pays and it keeps you inside, keeps you safe. Once you deem yourself pretty enough you get the show on the road. Easy, light stream today.

You don’t even think you’ll need to take off your underwear.

“Would I ever fuck a villain?” You laugh as you read the question, absentmindedly tweaking a nipple as you do. You can hear the ping of donations stream in when you give a little shudder of pleasure. “Sure, some of them are pretty hot. You ever seen that Gang Orca? I bet he’s packing.”

It ends with little fanfare after that, and soon enough you're back in bed, staring at the ceiling as sleep eludes you. There’s noises outside, loud shouting, what sounds like glass breaking. Just one more stream, just enough to save up to move into a different neighborhood, a safer one. Then maybe you can rest.

Morning comes before you want it to.

You pick plain clothes, a little form fitting so people can’t grab you, but loose enough to move in if you have to run. You keep your head down as you lock your door behind you, moving with quick, sure steps. The store is out of a few things but you manage to stock up on essentials for another few weeks. You did it, thank fuck, nobody even hassled you that much.

Right when you slip your key into the door is where it all goes wrong.

“Don’t scream,” the voice behind you is low, and despite your better instincts you listen. “Open the door and I won’t hurt you.”

Yet, you think but obey anyways. There’s a presence behind you, large and overly looming. A large hand drops onto your shoulder right when you hear the door shut. There’s something digging into your shoulder and a quick, darting glance reveals- claws?

Oh, no.

It can’t be.

You stumble forward in an attempt to get away, twisting your body around. It’s a nightmare come true- not just a villain in your home but one of the worst ones. He’s so much larger in real life than you thought he would be. So much more intimidating when you finally meet his red eyes.

Kugo Sakamata.

Gang Orca.

Standing in your living room.

The last thing you see before you faint is his hands coming towards you.

It’s too quiet when you wake up now.

Your room is too dark, save for the open laptop on your desk. Your arms are tied to your desk chair, legs as well. You can see him in the room, but you know he has to be there. Nothing appears to have been taken. You have no idea what’s going on, until he steps back into view.

“Hello there,” His voice is smoother than you would have imagined from before. God, he looks even taller from this angle. Your neck strains to look up at him all the way. His hand comes up to cup your cheek lightly, some sort of parody of a lover’s touch.

You only barely manage to hold back your shudder of revulsion.

He can see it in your eyes though, and his hand jerks back as if he’s been burned. Good, you hope something has hurt him. He’s already shattered your limited sense of security- hostage, in your own home. If you make it out of this alive you won’t even be able to move. He turns away from you, stepping to your computer. You can’t see around him, he blocks out all the light as he stands between the screen and you.

“Do you know why I’m here, little one?” You had the way the diminutive name sounds as it falls from his mouth, almost soft and bordering on sweet. You remain silent, fear locking your jaw shut tight. He continues on without you anyways, “You should. It was only last night when you said what you want from me.” He steps to the side, allowing you to see what’s on your computer now.

He’s started a stream.

Shit, you knew your dumb mouth would come back to haunt you one day. You just didn’t think it would be like this. Your mouth drops open but no words come out. Vaguely, you can read the chat- lots of concern but those messages are being drowned out by people asking, no telling, Gang Orca to do all sorts of depraved things to you. The fucking perverts.

“You could tell them where you are,” He sits behind you on the bed now, arms coming up to wrap around you, caging you in. “Or you can watch how quickly the average man turns when there’s something he thinks he wants.”

You’re still clothed, but you can feel the heat of him through it. How is he so warm? He shifts forwards even more, a hand coming up to hold your jaw, showing you off to the screen. You feel even more naked than during your actual streams. You feel exposed, every nerve like a livewire beneath your skin.

“I could kill you, you know,” His voice sounds almost detached, like he’s bored with the situation, “I think they would like that.” The grip on your jaw tightens. “You can already see what they want me to do to you, how they want me to defile you. There’s almost nobody concerned with your safety now.”

Your eyes strain as you take in the chat, blinking back tears as you realize he’s right. There’s nobody asking you if you’re alright now- only demands, promises to pay whatever the cost is if Gang Orca will only get the show on the road. You wonder why the site hasn’t automatically shut down your stream, after all one of the most notorious villains is right there, begging to be caught.

Until you catch sight of how many people are watching.

“You’re too popular to turn off,” There’s a hint of something sad in his voice, regret mixed with a fondness you can’t place. It’s like he expected this, like this is all going according to plan. “They don’t want to shut down what’s making them money hand over fist.”

You hate to acknowledge that he’s right. The stupid fish fuck is exactly on the mark. The site takes a portion of your donations, and the amount it’s at right now isn’t just your own personal record, it’s a sitewide one. There’s no way they’ll shut you down, try to get you help. Not when there’s still money to be made.

“Don’t you see?” His voice tickles your ear as he whispers into it. You don’t want to see. It’s like you can predict what he will say next. You don’t want him to confirm it, to confirm the worst fears inside of you.

“It’s not just the villains that are bad,” Between his arms and his voice you can almost forget that it feels like the whole world is watching you now, watching this corruption. “I’m evil, but at least I’m honest. I won’t touch you unless you ask me to. How many of them can say that?”

He’s right, of course he is. How else could the world get this bad? Someone along the way stopped caring, and then another, until there were more eyes looking away than could be helped. Easier to ignore the wrong and look out for number one, after all isn’t that what you had been doing?

“Join me,” he breathes, “Be free.”

You don’t hesitate, not now. You let the next two words slip from your mouth not without thought, but free from it. The last tether of your sanity snaps.

“Kiss me.” It’s a plea, one he obeys with a vicious grin. His mouth presses to yours.

The next domino falls.

[misstrashchan]

Top 3 RWBY ships & your favorite moments for each!!!

AH IT'S YOU!

And... Just three? Really? Uh, well, I guess I'll start with my first OTP I had watching the show when I was 13 that I still have a soft spot for...

1. Ladybug (Ruby/Blake)

Blame Madoka Magica, but I'm drawn to the dark haired, aloof and cool mysterious girl having a soft spot and looking out for the clumsy, optimistic and maybe a little naive girl trying to prove herself who happens to be the MC, and finding their own hope renewed in themself because of that relationship.

I mean there's just a lot of little moments when Blake is just so wholeheartedly the member who believes and trusts Ruby the most as a leader, like I know it's easy to overlook over the series but between "She's only two years younger, we're all just kids" in defence of Ruby when Weiss calls her just a kid, "She's our leader, she can take care of herself" in response to Yang worrying over Ruby, and "We'll follow your lead Ruby" to her before meeting Ironwood, and their initial meeting being Blake coming over and helping Ruby out when Weiss is giving her a hard time but then aprubtly leaving, it's just... I really love them, okay?

My favorite Ladybug moment is probably their talk in v8, because it's kind of a culmination of those little actions and words over the series that conveyed the nature of their relationship actually communicated, when Blake just lets Ruby know how much she looks up to and believes in her as a leader, and how greatful and moved you can see Ruby is to hear that when she's at a low point of doubting herself the most. (Even though that kind of faith is a double edged sword for her, but that's a Ruby meta analysis for another day)

And of course Ruby's soft chuckle and little "I could hear you" after getting up when Blake was pleading for Ruby to get up after getting knocked out, because they needed her, just melts my heart everytime I hear it.

2. Bumbleby (Yang/Blake)

I mean. It's Bumbleby! Ladybug may have been my first OTP but Bumbleby reigns supreme in my little heart since falling into it during v2 and fully committing to it after v3 and during v4. The slowburn, the pining, the angst, the comfort, the finding their way back to each other no matter how many times they seperate, the complimentary colour schemes, Beauty and the Beast, Ying and Yang, the way their narratives are intrinsically interwined with one another, THE SOFT FOREHEAD TOUCHES. God the list of reasons of Why Bumbleby is just neverending.

I mean, when I think good slowburn romance, I just immediately think Bumbleby.

Favourite moment? Geez. Idk. There's so many iconic bees moments it's hard to pick. Burning the Candle? I love it when you're feisty? Your bow goes great with your pajamas? Bees vs Adam? The Reunion? The Reunion 2.0 with forehead touches? (which are, in my humble opinion, far softer and more romantic than any kisses could be but that's just me)

But for all the angsty and dramatic moments, I really really like this series of small moments when Yang and Blake are getting ready to go dancing with FNKI in v7 the most. Yang trying to teach Blake how to dance and Weiss finding them to be an insufferable couple, Blake putting on mascara while Yang watches her lying on her bed with just the gayest little grin, Yang coming over and just so casually putting her hand on Blake's shoulders. It's just. It's my favorite just because of how casual it is. The two of them getting to relax and doing normal couple stuff. After everything these two have gone through they deserve that with each other, to enjoy those first highs of venturing into a romantic relationship. It's just the little moments, y'know?

3. Rosegarden (Ruby/Oscar)

So much about this ship just screams perfect slowburn material. How Ruby has consistently been the person who believes in Oscar as his own person, how Oscar is the first person we see get Ruby to open up to about her own fears,(and like, Ruby's really the only person Oscar has confided in like that over the series too) how throughout v7 Ruby worries over her decision to lie to Ironwood mainly because she knows it's something Oscar doesn't agree with and she doesn't want him to think less of her. The very circumstances that allowed them to meet; the war with Salem, Oscar merging with Oz, their shared burden that allows them to bond, is also exactly what would prevent them from ever having an actual relationship. It's just so... tragic when you really think about it and I LOVE that kind of shit.

RG to start with was more of an "enjoying how adorable Oscar's crush on Ruby was but believing it would ultimately be one sided" than actual "I Think This is Going to Be A Thing". And then the Dojo scene happened, which was this really revealing character moment for both of them in a way we hadn't seen either of them with anyone else, where they share their fears, and Oscar pushes Ruby to be more introspective and honest with her feelings at the start and at the end Ruby pushes Oscar to be braver and more confident in himself, which hits the core struggles of both their characters and I was like. Hm. Okay. Maybe there's more going on here. And the ship has kind of had my attention since then. (not my favorite RG moment though)

And then like, in v6 when Oscar gets his first huntsman outfit, and you can see that 1) His main colour is green, complimentary to Ruby's red, 2) His secondary colour is also Ruby's red 3) His accessories are the same as the ones Ruby has in her Mistral outfit, meaning he took direct inspiration from her and 4) As the cherry on top his whole outfit is a Very Obvious nod to him alluding to the Little Prince. And I was like Ah. This is A Thing Now. And then the series went on to have the subtle-as-a-brick-parallels with the Bees and visually pairing them with the Bees and I was like Ah. Yeah. We're definitely in it now.

Enough about that though. Favourite moment? Ruby handing Oscar back his cane. Not just the "You're your own person" Ruby says to reassure Oscar of his own individual identity, but what she does when she says it. Before that, when Oscar reaches to take the cane from Ruby who holds it out to him, he lingers there, asking "I'm just going to be another one of his lives, aren't I?" And right then and there Ruby and Oscar would be holding onto one another, except the cane is in between their hands. It's what connects them, but it's also what separates them. Because the cane represents Oscar's connection to Oz and his merging with him. And it's only because of Oz that Oscar met Ruby at all. But then when Ruby tells Oscar he's his own person, she puts her other hand on top of his. Asserting her own, unique connection to him. That still gets me.

[overclocksaa]

@hitsharder​ / I liked you better when you were an alcoholic clint out here trying to start civil war iii

It might be a statement out of the blue with no lead up, sure, but Clint Barton shoving his own foot as far down his own throat as he can get it is actually nothing new.  Half the time he opens his mouth, you can damn near bet something offensive and crude is going to fall out of it, and he’s going to pat himself on the back for thinking he’s oh so damn clever for it, and is shocked - shocked - when someone feeds him a fist, literally or metaphorically.

There’s no reason this should be such a slap in the face, because of that.  Of course Clint doesn’t think before says things.  Of course he reaches for poor impulse control, bad wording, and inflammatory statements to provoke a reaction.  Of course Tony should ignore it, shut him down without losing it completely and not give him the attention he wants from it, because to Clint any attention is apparently good attention.

There’s also the fact that, as far as these things go, there already is a raging, barely functioning alcoholic in the room, and then there’s Tony, who keeps so tight a grip on his self control - who has learned the hard way what slipping back in the bottle with lose him - that it squeaks.  He’d never say that, not like that.  He’s sympathetic to the problem Clint refuses to admit he has - for obvious reasons.  He’s tried, before, to get Clint to realize the problem and address it, and it’s as the old adage goes, you can only help those that want to help themselves, and Clint just flat out doesn’t want help. 

But being sympathetic doesn’t mean it doesn’t make him see red.  Doesn’t mean he doesn’t clench his jaw so tight he’s sure he’s cracked a crown.  Doesn’t mean - while he’s not going to, he’s not going to give Clint the satisfaction - he doesn’t have the urge to add another break in Clint’s nose for the sheer audacity of it.

“That’s hilarious, coming from you.”  His tone is deceptively cool, his words clipped.  Precise.  His fingers twitch with the effort to keep his hands from curling into fists, because if they curl into fists, then this ends the way he’s sure Clint wants it to.  “Considering you’re one of the first in line to accuse me of drinking every single time I do something you don’t agree with.”

It’s everyone’s go-to excuse with him, right?  Tony does something like take an unpopular side, choose the option of less evil that’s not so naively optimistic as to be a fairytale, and everyone automatically assumes he’s gone darkside because he’s hitting the sauce.  It’s played out that way a million times.  People would always rather believe that than the fact that maybe idealism will only get them so far.

Or - and this one actually still rankles, and he knows he’s supposed to let it go and forgive and forget because of what followed after - the fact that Clint had been more than happy to side with Hank Pym and decide Tony’s insistence that no, he hadn’t been drinking in front of the UN, had all been an excuse, piggy backing off all the other bad shit that had happened that day.  He hasn’t forgotten it.  He’s never going to forget it.  The Avengers can’t stop eating their own long enough to realize they’re being short-sighted and stupid about things.  It’s the Avengers way, after all.

People think Steve’s the one that will hold on to shit forever, but no.  No, that’s Tony.  It’s not a grudge, it’s a lesson learned on who can be counted on for support and who can’t, and Clint very much cannot be counted on for anything but crude observations and bad decisions.

"You’ve got thirty seconds to get the hell out of my house and off my property.“

[reineyday]

some feelings abt touya and bnha 302 in general! (long post)

jesus this whooooole chapter makes me so so so sad for touya, like he's canonically a crier and i just have all these images now of him crying off to the side while enji looks at his other kids and gives them the time of day. knowing that he was/is a frustrated crier makes the fact that dabi cant cry cuz of his burned tear ducts that much sadder ohhman

one of the things i cant get over is how touya was SO shunned by his dad that when he went to go tell enji about his fire turning from red to blue, he says "i might be as awesome as shouto sooner or later!" like?? this boy is 13 and shouto is 5 yet he's talking like the brother that's eight years younger than him is better than him and thar it's just a fact. the sky is blue, enji wants to beat all might one day, and shouto is better than the rest of his siblings. nevermind that he's only five and just wants to play with his siblings (and dont even mention to me how shouto says he wants to play with "touya and them" cuz im gonna fucking cry abt it. like even though touya's accepted he's bottom of the ladder in this family, shouto clearly wants some sort of acknowledgement from his older siblings and especially his older brother. IM FVCKN SOBBN). enji has made it clear in this family that shouto was what he was looking for and everyone else is not as important, and i knew this from shouto's pov but it's kinda wild to see it implied so casually in touya's words.

"you'll be glad you created me! i just know it!" HOLY SHIT. god my heart. oh my fuck. literally all enji had to do was show up to the fucking mountain, and he couldnt even do that? what the hell?? your son asks you to go to the mountain, you tell your wife not to let him go traim but she said she couldnt stop him, and instead of going yourself to make sure he's okay and BECAUSE HE ASKED YOU TO COME (and with an actually valid reason, no less! fire changing colour is kind of a big fucking deal!!!) you just?? let him go and let him stay there??? my god the amount of times touya must have burned himself and the trees with tears in his eyes. ahhhHHH!!!

what kills me (and touya too soon?) was that we thought before the back story started that enji forced touya to train till he burned up. then when 290 came out--and definitely after 301--we thought maybe touya overtrained himself and burned up. and sure, he was definitely overtraining, but to find out that the burns that "killed" him started just bc he was crying so much he lost control and didnt know how to ease up on his flames? he was upset and literally trying to get himself to stop crying, and then he just set himself aflame and burned up cuz of all his emotions??? that HURTS. holy fuck.

i cant believe natsuo's feeling lowkey guilty for not socking enji in the face like he wasnt EIGHT???? and let's be real, enji woukdnt have fucking listened to natsuo telling him to talk to touya--he already wasnt listening when touya would straight up say "look at me" and when even rei said touya just wanted enji to look at him and notice him. listen, i know sometimes miscommunications happen in families and children are embarrassed to admit they want attention and so their parents remain unaware that theyre not giving their kid something they want, but touya was as clear as can be on MANY occasions, and even rei agreed touya needed the attention and enji just wasnt listening.

also i know there was discourse abt touya being sexist by telling natsu that "the women in this house are good for nothing" and mb it was partly diff translations cuz i feel like saying "this house" makes it specific to rei and yumi instead of all women everywhere, but even disregarding that--i think it's a valid thought for him to have when rei wasnt standing up for him (where he could see, at least) and yumi admitted herself that she was too scared to interfere and so just tried to fix things and keep appearances. i feel like based on what touya's seen from them, it makes sense that he has that opinion. (also gonna mention that i think rei's and yumi's choices also make sense and i think they were valid, seeing as how they were afraid as well.)

and poor natsu being woken up in the middle of the night (what was implied to be often enough, esp cuz it seemed they share a room and their futons are close) bc of touya's pain. that's a lot of emotional responsibility for an eight year old, and it is also so sad that at 13, touya didnt have anyone else to turn to but his kid brother. at 13, i remember being fully aware of the distinction in maturity between an 8 year old and myself, and it sucks that touya couldnt go to anyone but a younger child with all his pain. i bet yumi being too scared to interfere translated to touya as "she wouldnt help me" and thats another reason he didnt go to the 2nd oldest when he needed to vent. (also not related to this but how the FUCK was natsuo so tall at 8 years old? wh a t)

this chapter. this fucking chapter. my heart aches for touya, and it's just such a huge fucking shame he didnt get the attention and validation and support he needed. there must have been workarounds so that touya could safely use his quirk. there weere DEFINITELY better ways to support your son through a self-destructive quirk, ways that involved actually being there and seeing him. i feel like if someone showed him the attention he needed and talked him through how to better control his emotions (and by extension, his flames) and a positive and healthy way, he could have been someone so great. and if he ever learned how to set aside the way he felt infefior to shouto and saw that shouto just wanted to play with his cool older siblings, it might have been really beneficial to see that there was someone there who thinks he's cool and gave him attention just bc he was an older brother, who needed him when everyone else in the househild didnt seem to need him.

and lastly, the fact that the chapter ends with rei saying that shouto is the family hero and that shouto will have to face dabi?? and it makes me angry that shouto has to take on that responsibility. that he was five and suffering for things he wasnt even a part of, couldnt be properly aware of, bc he was so young. he just saw that he was separated from his siblings and that his dad bullied his mom, then grew up shouldering enji's heavy goals and high expectations and abusive training alongside the barely-there memories of his older brother who died (i say barely there bc if natsu didnt even know shouto liked cold soba, shouto was definitely not around enough to have solid memories of touya before he "died"), and now he has to do the emotional labour of fighting his villain brother (who i bet shouto lowkey empathizes with when he thinks abt it late at night) as well as suffer the physical consequences of that agni kai. and it makes me angry that he has to do that, bc he's a Good Guy and he probably feels he has some sort of filial and familial responsibility. he's only 16. he just wanted to play with touya and them, and now he has to deal with this horse shit dabi's causing cuz his dad's an emotionally neglecting asshat who couldnt see past his dumb fucking ego until he saw shouto play with a bunch of kids during shou's remedial exam a decade after his eldest son burned himself to death. what the fuckety fuck.

lastly, since we saw touya burn uo the way he did... did he really just like... burn so much his jaw fell off, and that's how they found the jawbone? cuz holy hot (BURNING too soon???) damn that must have been painful as all hell. i wonder if next chapter we get to see if someone found touya at the park and helped him out and sorted out the jaw bone thing, or if we finally get to see if deku wakes up lol.

anyways this chapter hurt my heart big time, and i kinda wanna draw kid touya crying while being overlooked by his family to let out some of those feelings but we'll see.

and i still stand by my idealistic and naively optimistic hope that dabi gets redeemed and they soend some actually time together as a family (without enji. or at least, with an enji that has apologized to touya in seiza. like, forehead-to-floor apologize.)

does this hope sort out how dabi redeems himself, seeing as how he's murdered people in cold blood and shouldnt be excused for that bc those actions are also inarguably terrible? no. not sure how he could redeem himself for that kinda stuff honestly, but it doesnt mean i dont still somehow want the todoroki sibs to get along, cuz im weak for mending families.

also id like to send a huge kudos out into the world to rei todoroki for being firm for once and for also not running away from her mistakes like her asshole husband has been. i really admire and respect that. she was afraid and being abused, but now that she's been away from enji and has had time to heal, now that her and shouto are in the mend and she's seen that her eldest son is alive and a villain, she's a place where she can acknowledge that even though she was a victim too, she played a part in touya's emotional neglect and she's taking responsibility and that speaks to some incredible fucking strength. damn.

i hope one day that dabi realizes the same in regards to his mother and natsuo, who shouldered a lot of his emotional pain and suffered the consequences of his outbursts (even though his emotions are valid and his outbursts understandable, he still hurt rei and put a lot of pressure on natsu), and i also hope he sees that for all that he hates his father, his whole existence revolves around enji and it's a shitty place to be (and then he'll have ANGST abt it and that shit will be!! so good!!!)

yeah i think those were all my feelings. i had so many lol. their family situation is so difficult, i hope they all turn out okay and alive and healing.

oh i guess i also wanted to say that i kept calling enji an asshat and asshole cuz he was for sure, but i still think his redemption is valid and im glad he's taking those steps to be a better person by being a better father. i dont know if id want his family to forgive him for all that horrible shit he put them through (im personally hoping that no matter what anyone else does, natsuo will choose to to cooperate in the healing of his family as a unit but will never forgive enji) but i think it's good of people to try to be better than they were yesterday regardless of whether or not they get forgiveness. i dont personally like enji, but i dont hate that he's getting a redemption. i just hope it's a redemption that makes sense and forces him to put in the work, and isnt something like a death sacrifice for shouto or dabi. i want him to be alive and i want his redemption process to hurt like a fucking bitch while he forces himself to make better choices and be a better person, cuz redemption isnt supposed to be easy in the slightest. i GUESS all the crying he did in 302 was a good start.

anyways, if for some reason you read all the way down to the bottom--hello! and thanks for reading haha. cheers! :)))

[darknessisafriend]

Therapy

Somehow Tumblr swallowed an anon request of smut with Leonard Kraditor x Reader so I hope this anon will be able to read it! anyway enjoy!

TW: mention of depression

Leonard sighed, he was only twenty minutes into group therapy and he wanted to go away, he didn’t see the point in this, spending time with people just as tired of life as him; what did his parents want? Accelerate the moment where he would kill himself? He had enough of himself, he didn’t need to hear other sad and pathetic stories. He started bouncing his leg, he knew the therapist wanted everyone to talk and he didn’t want to.

“I don’t feel like talking, sorry.” He lifted his eyes towards the person who seemed to feel like him. You, a young woman, wearing a dark hoodie, jeans and converse shoes. You were bouncing your leg too, showing your annoyance, unconsciously rubbing the scars underneath your sleeve.

“Y/N we won’t force you to talk. But as you can see, no one judges, and you can speak freely.” Said the therapist, trying to get you to talk. So, Y/N, that was your name, he liked it, how come he hadn’t noticed you since the start?

“I know that, I just don’t want to.” You tried to give them a smile, but it was hard when you were in a place you didn’t want to be in, the great idea of your parents. “Listen, can I take a break?” you ended up asking, you felt like you were suffocating here, you needed fresh air.

As soon as the therapist allowed you to, you quickly left your chair, determined and not looking back, you were tired of this shit. Leonard watched you leave, and he suddenly felt like going after you, perhaps because you too didn’t want to be there.

“Huh…I gotta take a break too.” He quickly said, not waiting for the answer of the therapist and leaving the room. His eyes searched for you, you were not on the corridor, you must have been outside, it’s what he would have done, get fresh air into his lungs, making him feel at least a little bit alive. So, he went outside, and here you were, sitting on the steps of the front stairs, looking at the little park in front of you, wondering how tomorrow will be, how hard you wished that something happened, something that would get you out of this infernal circle of emptiness.

“Y/N?” you were startled by the voice calling your name, and it wasn’t the therapist, but instead a voice that was unknown to you. You turned your head, to see a man, with clear eyes and dark curly hair, hands in his pocket, he was in your group therapy.

“Can I join you? I’m tired of that bullshit back there too.” He said, slightly shifting his weight on his other leg. He had to try to get to know you, and he hoped he won’t be rejected like it happened so often, for one reason or the other. You opened and closed your mouth, pleasantly surprised that someone felt the same as you do.

“Sure.” You replied, watching him as he approached you and came to sit on the steps next you. He rests his forearms over his knees, looking down at his hands before looking at you.

“I’m Leonard by the way.” He extended his hand towards you and you shook it, finally some normal interaction with someone.

“Nice to meet you Leonard. I’m- well you already know my name.” you rolled your eyes with a little smile, making him giggle. “So…you don’t want to be here too, right?” you asked him to be sure and he nodded.

“My parents kept insisting that I should come here. I was tired of hearing that, so I came, and I hate it.” He explained with an annoyed look.

“Same, it doesn’t make me feel better. It’s already hard on a daily basis, like I understand the purpose but personally, I don’t need to spend time hearing dark stuff even more.” You replied, you felt like you could tell him; he seemed like a nice guy and trustworthy.

“Yeah, exactly! I just want to forget, have fun, make friends and try to have a normal life, enjoy it as much as I can!” retorted Leonard almost passionately. And you couldn’t help but smile at this, you wished those things just as hard as him, you were tired of being lonely in your little bubble.

“Well, what do you think of not going back to this place and just have fun instead?” you grinned mischievously; now that you detailed him, he was rather cute, with his little teddy bear look.

“Sure, what do you want do? I’m more of a party guy you know, clubs, bars, concerts…” he listed with a little grin, as if it was a victory that he enjoyed those things like many people of his age.

“I was thinking of something else…” you teased him, trying not to giggle at the slightly confused look he gave you, you were of playful nature and you enjoyed flirting when you felt like it. Then it was as if he was starting to understand, he glanced at you with interest. “This.” You added before leaning closer to him and placing your lips upon his. You instantly felt him press his mouth against yours even more, he had wanted this too, since he noticed you back in the room.

“Actually…I’d prefer that too.” He grinned against your lips, his hand cupping your chin. He didn’t seem like it, but his way of touching you was full of confidence and charm, it was the most exciting surprise. Soon, he deepened the kiss, and your hands went to bury in his soft hair, the way his arms had wrapped around your waist, he wanted you.  “I’m tired about my failures, false hopes…I’m tired of trying for nothing. And I’m tired of feeling like I will forever be this fucking depressed guy who lives with his parents.”  He let out, as if he needed to release the pressure inside him, share a bit more of his uneasiness.

“Then show me who you really are Leonard.” You murmured, looking at him in the eyes and he couldn’t help but chuckle happily, nobody had ever asked him this. So, he got up taking your hand, pulling you up.

“Come with me.” He smiled already leading you away from that group therapy. You ran with him, crossing the street and reaching the park you had been looking at; it was peaceful at that time of the day and it gave intimacy to anyone who wandered there. You just loved how touchy-feely he was, a kiss and now he wasn’t letting go of your hand. And he was smiling, genuine and playful.

“Your parents will see you relaxed and happier. They won’t even question it.” You giggled, imagining the surprised face of your own parents.  

“Yeah and they’ll leave me alone, they stop watching over me like a criminal.” He replied, and he couldn’t wait for that moment. He loved his parents, but they were way too clingy and protective of him.  

“I’m sure they’ll stop.” You reassured him, you were someone with very little confidence over yourself and anxiety but with others, you were always optimistic, showing them the positive side of the situation. Though you were starting to see the positive side of going to group therapy; you had met Leonard. This thought gave you a sudden rush of excitement, something you hadn’t felt in a while. “Hey, come look over there, there’s something you should like.” You teased him, pulling him out of the path to walk on the grass, between trees and bushes.

“Really? What’s there?” he asked naively, his eyes searching around. You suddenly, leaned your back against a tree, pulling him closer to you, against you actually. He giggled, understanding your little trick, he was falling for your mischievous spirit; it amazed him, you suffered depression like him and yet, with him you managed to get your head out of the water and make smile. He couldn’t help but kiss you again, this time passionate, his hands by each side of your face while your hands went down his body, squeezing his firm butt, earning a needy groan from him. That’s it, you were completely into him, would it last? You didn’t know but you didn’t want to have any regrets.

“Leonard…I want you.” You murmured against his lips, he briefly stopped, another happy smile forming on his lips, he slightly nodded, his mouth traveling to your neck. You hummed in delight at the feeling, your hands gripping a handful of his hair while the other caressed his chest.

“Maybe I should listen to my parent more often….” He joked, never stopping his kisses, his hands caressing you; it made you giggle.

“I agree!” your hands traveled down his chest to reach his lower belly, sliding underneath his pants, feeling him getting hard. His moan died against your throat and his kisses became more heated, hungry, his tongue licking a sensitive spot behind your ear.

“C-come on…let’s do it…before someone notices.” You murmured excitedly, arching your hips against him, stroking him the best you could through his underwear and finally letting go of him to unbutton his pants, you needed him inside you, right now. Leonard’s mouth left your neck so that he could look down and help you take your pants off as well.

Once you two were bottomless, you were even more excited, feeling your womanhood barely a few inches from him. He captured your lips once again, his manhood rubbing against you, making you both moan without restraints. To your great surprise, Leonard lifted you, making you wrap your legs around him but it was harder than what it seemed in the movies and before you could understand what was happening you both fell in the grass,  gasping in surprise as you fell and Leonard landed on you.

“Damn you’re heavy!” you laughed heartedly, keeping your arms around him.  

“Shit sorry!” he chuckled embarrassed, detailing your face to make sure you were okay.  

“It’s okay, don’t stop what you were about to do.” You reassured him, gently stroking his face, and pressing your hips against him. It instantly made him forget about this little incident and woke up his desire even stronger. He briefly licked his lips, settling well between your legs and looking at you as he slowly penetrated you. He watched in amazement your gasp of pleasure, the way you rejected your head back, your arms tightening around him.

“Oh fuck…. you feel incredible.” He breathed, filling your jaw with sloppy kisses as he started to thrust, making you both moan, it had been a while since you had been in such an exciting situation and it made you forget all your problems.

You two didn’t even try to muffle your moans, enjoying the moment too much, you felt more than okay, alive. Your hands clutched his sweater as he thrusted faster, it was too good to take your time, without forgetting that you could get caught. Your little moans were music to his ears, and only encouraged him to continue, he felt connected to you, emotionally, you both suffered and understood each other unlike anyone else; perhaps you were even the one he would love forever. Because yes, he felt in love with you, some could say he easily fell in love but fuck them, he won’t repress what he is feeling for you. You playfully bit his earlobe, grinning as he groaned, you were making him crazy and you felt like you could do this forever. Your screams of pleasure grew louder and quicker each time, followed by those of Leonard, you were close to climax and it was the most wonderful feeling, freedom, happiness.  

“Leo…I’m…!” you couldn’t finish your sentence that you came, soon followed by your lover in a last groan, his arms barely holding his own weight. Then, he slowly laid on your chest, burying his head in the crook of your neck. You both stayed silent for long seconds, catching your breath and simply enjoying being together.

“I like this therapy.” You said after a while and to this Leonard burst out laughing, and you found yourself loving to hear it.

“Yeah me too! We should do that more often” he kept laughing happily, his thumb stroking your skin, really, meds and therapists had never made him feel this way, but you, from the moment he met you, he felt better and just normal, ready to move forward with his life.

“Then, why not make it permanent…see each other often…” You suggested hoping he would feel the same. He stayed silent at first, making you think you had perhaps done a mistake and that you would be disappointed again. But then, he lifted his head to meet your eyes, detailing your face, you were serious and had an hopeful look, and it gave him hope too, for happiness. He slowly nodded.

“Yes, I want to be with you Y/N. I want to take care of you and have your comfort.” He replied with a tender smile, you blinked away the tears in your eyes and lifted your head to kiss him, like a promise. For the first time, you and Leonard felt like you were truly alive, and part of a welcoming world.

Tag list: @skaravile​ @lyoongx​ @weirdflecksbutok​ @charlie-sisters @stardancerluv​ @sgtsavoytruffle​ @ohcarlesmycarles​ @rajacero @niniitah-ah @morrisonmercuryphoenix @fly-like-a-phoenix​ @the-joaq-is-extra​

[sirenc0re]

been thinking about lumity role swap au lol

i can only do so much with the logistics of it because if i did a strictly “everyone who is a human is a witchling, and everyone who is a witchling is a human” then that would leave more than half of the cast out, because the premise is still the same! human falls in to witch world. and that cant really happen when its “like a dozen humans fall in to the witch world” so im gonna do “amity is a human, luz is a witchling, and everyone else stays more or less the same with exceptions”. might change it if i bother to develop this more than i already have lol

read more under the cut LOL!

amity blight as a human:

- She never dyed her hair green. Her backstory is still that shes the youngest daughter of the powerful and rich blight family. since theyre human their hair cant naturally be green. dana revealed in the qna that amity’s hair is green because miss blight likes her children to be “color-coordinated”. this can go one of two ways: amity’s hair is still her natural brown color because everyone in her family has brown hair and thus she has no reason to dye it OR amity dyed her hair blonde, and she still has her roots showing.

- she had to fall in to the human world somehow, right? im thinking at the beginning she still acts as stuck up and closed off as she did before she befriended luz. shes the top student so i can definitely see her getting in to summer extracurricular as a human. maybe as a camp counselor to parallel luz being the one to go to summer camp. the way she gets in to the witch world is also similar to luz.

maybe its like, her parents drop her at camp right. and shes in her cabin getting everything set up and she takes out an azura book she had hidden in her clothes. so she puts it out of the way to fold her clothes or something and when she looks back its GONE. so she starts scrambling around and she turns around to see owlbert making an escapade. hijinks ensues, she runs in to the forest in chase for her book and literally trips in to the witch world.

eda is amity’s mentor in this world. and obviously they have a very different relationship than luz and eda. i feel like after amity gets her book back she chooses to stay in the witch world “for a bit” because at the end of the day, she would still love magic! even as a human, i feel like her love for azura books would have at some level let her fantasized about being a witch. she’s “mature”, sure, but under her prickly exterior amity is still a 14 year old dork. i feel like despite her initial attitude she would be very taken with the idea of being able to do magic for real

this translates in to amity being a whole lot more critical of eda when eda doesnt teach her as a mentor should. for amity, her “witches before wizards” episode wouldnt be her getting tricked in to thinking shes the chosen one, because i feel like unlike luz shes a lot less optimistic about being able to be one. instead i think she would discover hexside a lot quicker, and inadvertently setting the ground for her discovering how to write glyphs and enrolling in to hexside sooner. im thinking her first glyph isnt light, but instead its amity learning how to make an abomination/learning the glyph to summon one, so maybe for amity’s version of “the intruder” eda starts teaching amity how to bake a brand new purple boy, and eda starts doing the magic circle to summon it, but like in the original episode she doesnt finish it. hijinks ensue at the end of the episode and bam!

thats all i have for amity alone. to simplify it, i think her and eda do get a good mother/daughter relationship. assuming amitys mom is a piece of shit, this would work way better with her than with luz bc amity needs it as much as eda. amity is just way more exasperated and critical than luz was

moving on..

luz noceda as a witchling:

- i want to keep her backstory and personality as intact as possible! so im thinking that instead of willow and gus being her main crew, its actually the detention kids who she hangs out with the most, because luz is part of them! i think luz’s youthful and naive optimist, coupled with her “outside the box” thinking while being raised in Witch World, would make her the type of kid to had wanted to mix all types of magic and gotten sent to the (school) slammer for it.

luz has been shown to be smart, a quick thinker, and a really hard worker. so in any other circumstances she would have been a top student. it just might not be that its immediately obvious, and might come off as reckless to her peers (she did let a bunch of snakes loose in canon, imagine what she could have accidentally done in a world where thats small fry stuff?)

- i want luz to hang out with lillith because i think its cute. luz would definitely be enamored with the emperors coven because they can do all types of magic, something she REALLY wants to do. and for all that lillith is “dignified”, i think seeing and meeting luz would hit a soft spot. a fun and excitable kid who wants nothing more than joining the emperors coven would probably remind her of eda before she cursed her. i dont think lillith would take her on as her own apprentice, at least in public, but they have a mentor/student thing going on

- i think luz and amity’s meeting would go something like this:

amity meets willow the same way luz met willow. since they dont have any bad blood they actually get along, showing amity’s softer side. i think willow is on the plant track from the beginning bc from a story sense she was only in the abomination track in the beginning to properly introduce amity. no witch amity, no need for her to be in that track. in this universe amity just sneaks in as a Very Large and Vaguely Person Shaped plant. everything is going great until amity catches a locker opening in a way it shouldnt open. she investigates and falls in to the detention kid’s hideout. she meets luz, she gets mad at luz for spying and being a “cheater”, hijinks ensue. their meeting starts off with a misunderstanding and it takes a while before they get on good terms again

so thats all i have now in general. again i might write more if a get the inspiration. feel free to ask me more stuff or add on to it if youd like lol

[sleepynegress]

Spoiler-Filled Reaction to the 1st Ep of TFATWS: ‘New World Order’ ...

Okay, so I may switch up and do weekly recaps via audio. Either way, I’m getting something out before the weekend is up... Still!...  It’s a been a few days, so I can go a bit more in depth with my thoughts on that pilot ep.

~ So, that opening was quiet and down-to-earth. For me, it was hammering home not only the humbleness of Sam (despite the bravado, the man is naive in his optimism and *not* superpowered), but being stuck in his initial thoughts about the shield.   ...That it didn’t feel like it belonged to him. Sam’s personality, has been established as super-loyal and almost childlike in his feelings that things will work out and doing the right thing because it’s right (which is why he didn’t get paid enough BTW naive pride). 

-which comes into play w/ his conflict w/ his sister later... I’ll come back to that.

~ We jump into a dangerous mission that shows off Falcon’s personality. He’s gonna get it done with style and optimism even when working with equipment that needs a few updates.  The stunt coordination here was fantastic!  I legit whewed! aloud at Balroc paragliding into *multiple* helicopters... Sam’s hair-pin turns milimeters from canyon rock, propellers, and rockets... ~ I *loved* Torres’ fanboying. It felt like a parallel to Sam fanboying Cap, in CA:WS and evoked the well-established superhero trope of a person *marveling* aloud at what you’re doing making it so. much. cooler. (as an oldhead, the random black dude emoting about Superman’s suit after he comes out of a phonebooth, in the Reeves movie, is my earliest memory of this trope). ~ Then we see the Tunisia titlecard, which yea! it didn’t just say Africa, but ehh, once again “yellow tint” is code for “exotic” country full of brown people. It did cut through the typically more alt-right-tinged military propaganda w/ the Tunisian man thanking Sam for saving his wife, the bare minimum of humanization... but it saved the scene from just “backdropping” the people/culture w/o any humanity, at all, as is typical... That and the way these two BIPOC spoke to one another (there is a certain kind of rapport we non-white folk have w/ each other) was my first hint...that this showrunner ain’t a white dude. The joking about him knowing Arabic...like cheering/teasing when we show our range to one another.  Mainly, this interaction was to show that Sam is to Torres what Steve was to Sam in some ways...with a bit more “brazen kid” on Torres’ part, along w/ introing the idea of the Flagsmashers. ~ Then, naive Sam decides to donate the shield to the Smithsonian...because he doesn’t feel like he’s earned it and because in his mind it still belongs to Cap and because he’s out here trusting this governement even after all the B.S. he’s done lived through.  Even Rhodey was having his doubts... Maybe being around during the blip makes a person more savvy and cynical, IDK. ~ So, then we see Buck in therapy and since I’ve been through trauma, I know that mindset.  Sticking to routine is a big “win”.  Not really caring about anything beyond the bare essentials (yall saw that man’s apartment). And the feeling of being displaced would be amplified by the fact that this man is more so than anyone who has existed(!).  ~ I noticed that Seb leaned into his Rom-Merican accent, which was a great acting choice, it evokes his sense of having traveled without a solid sense of self in a place, because he was essentially, asleep all those decades, while the brainwashed aspect of himself was enslaved to Hydra. I LOVE his therapist.   Fannishness for a cute guy, means a lot of people don’t like her being “mean” to him... But I’mma tell you, as someone who actually has been in therapy for a good bit, you *need* someone who will call you on your bullshit so you can properly work on it.  I love that she’s also a vet and there’s nothing cutesy and coddling in a male-gazey sexy or motherly way. She’s doing her fucking job and not letting his ass slide. To me, that read as a hat-tip to a woman drecting this. So, we see Buck manifest his trauma w/ profound discomfort in his own skin.  He doesn’t know how to interact anymore, how to swagger in this strange time and place (because dude had all kinds of 1940′s swagger and juice back in CA:TFA) So, he’s just awkwardly honest, and beating himself up for that. But... he’s still alive, so he totally perked up in the presence of this attractive server and Yori notices and like so many old people, just busted his chops and skipped all the what he wasn’t gonna do and did it for him, w/ Leah’s confidant acceptance -ahhh, I luv her!- as an assist. ~ Then we flip back to Sam in Delacroix and we meet his sister and his nephews and his community(!) which really nails down Sam the man, the person, the human apart from his underwritten assists to the Avengers. We see that Sarah knows and loves this naively optimistic ‘I will find a way to fix it because it’s the right thing to do’ hard-headed brother.... but good-God! he doesn’t know shit about real-world day-to-day struggle... If you’ve seen Anthony Mackie in The Hurt Locker... one of the big themes explored, is how tough it is for vets who have been through explosions and firefights in another country... to adjust to day-to-day struggle in “normal life”. THAT is what Buck’s therapist was calling out when she said BULLSHIT to him saying he wanted peace (lol, no he doesn’t, like Sam he wants that righeous kind of adrenalin only being in action for “good” gives) and what Sarah is frustrated w/ is regarding him not understanding or respecting the kind of struggle she had to deal w/. ~ As an aside I *loved* her *nose-scratch* “Can I talk to you for a minute??” Whew! That is a black-ass way to let you know someone is pissed w/ you and wants to hash all the shit out. That’s why Sam avoided it, lol... ~ So, the date with Leah, who does all the right things...Goes terribly, because Buck is still too deep in his trauma focus on anything about how great she is.   Note, that just about everything that happened on that date reminded him of aspects of his trauma to the point where Buck, (being an absolute dick!) just fucking, walks out on her!!  I NEED her to chew his ass out for that and I need him to *not* be able to make it up to her (and I’d also love some fanfic, where Buck actually does *ahem* treat her well... I know Asian women be shorted in fanfic too!) ~ So, he goes to Yori’s apartment and stares like an obvious knucklehead (still dealing w/ being stuck in his trauma) at the alter to the man who was just in the way of that brainwashed aspect of himself, pays for the lunch and walks off...AND, NOTE!!  YORI DID NOTICE ALL THIS. So, this will eventually come to a head...yikes! ~ Then we’re back to Sam, and Sarah who tries to have that talk, but old boy ain’t trying to hear it. Insisting that he’s the man to swoop in and save the boat and the business *sigh* by some magic (hanging with magical beings...will do that, I guess). And Sarah smartly is just frustrated and skeptical, but lets him go on and try and fail in the same ways she already did so. many. times... in those five years. ~ And then we see bb Torres being brazen kid stupid amateur spy w/ the Flagsmashers. I honestly thought old masked dude stomped him to death, at first... The camera pan showed the cliched dead-man pose, after all.  I guess he pulled that (super!)stomp, which means... Flagsmashers aren’t the lethal villians here IMO.   I think they escaped from the *real* villian. ~ And then comes some real world racist bullshit... This scene at the bank *nails* a particular kind of frustratingly infuriating racism that is common. Where they will act like they are doing you a favor because they like and want something from you... but still won’t serve you in the same way they would a white person. It’s this strange willfullly “I like you negroes, you entertain me! -but fuck you -but I still like you!” patronizing thing that we know all too well. *whew!* That was real. And then that heartbreaking scene where after Sarah rightly told-ya-so’s.  -Sam is working on that mess of an engine and reality *finally* sets in when the key  didn’t even attempt to turnover.

~ Then Torres messages Sam (and he’s alive!) and we all know Sam knows these Flasgsmashers got super-serum, but isn’t saying. Even TORRES knows (bless his heart). ~ And from there we go straight to the U.S. government rubbing salty dirt in Sam’s wound with the new/fake Cap holding the shield aloft and winking like “It’s mine now, bitch!”. ---And the credits, I won’t get into except to say if you want ALL the spoilers in the credits, watch that linked video, I posted earlier. But they are SIGNIFICANT spoilers.

[winterrose42]

Does anyone else ever get tired of being positive? Like, just absolutely fucking exhausted with the way people see you?

Optimists are not stupid, or naive. They don't see everything through rose colored glasses and instead of "grim, harsh reality" we see puppies that never die and rainbows in the sky even in a hurricane.

No. Fuck you. Optimists take the god damn burnt ashes of everyone else's bullshit and put our feet down, square our shoulders, look at the people who delivered it square in the eyes and tell them "No."

No. This isn't what I want. For me or anyone else. So you know what? No.

Optimists aren't even people who just take the good out of a bad situation. We're the ones that say "Okay. Things are shit. But look at what it could be if we really pull together, get everyone's heads out of their asses and work towards something good."

Optimists see the world not being ideal but see the potential in it becoming better. We see a lot of work, but we see even the slightest glimmer of hope as an opportunity for a fresh start. A better start. Maybe way further down the line, and maybe with more work than would be necessary since not everyone is always on the same page. But we believe something good can be at the end of any bad situation with enough time and dedication.

So fuck people. I'm tired. I'm so exhausted. Yes this is about the election. Yes I know that if Biden wins it will barely fix anything. Yes I know that there's so many Republicans in places of power that it will be a hard fight to get anything fixed. Yes I know things are bad everywhere else in the world. I know. I know. I know. And I am as scared, and as worried, and as depressed and as tired as you are.

But Biden is a start. He is someone who will do his fucking best not to drive everyone further into the dirt giving rich assholes what they want while breaking the backs of the working class. He is someone who will give the barest glimpse of hope to people who need it most. Let me have my fucking positivity and my god damn optimism because as a barely adult who's stuck at home with no clear future like millions of others this is what I need. This is the thought process that keeps people like me from commiting suicide. Telling people like me that there's no point is harmful and more stupid than you think my positive views are.

I'm not stupid. I'm not naive. I am hopeful. And I am trying my fucking best to fight against the "head down, mouth shut, simply follow" policy that got us into this mess in the first place and hold everyone else up with me because if I don't and that one little thing of hope is taken away from me I know I will literally shatter into a million pieces and give up completely. So for the love of god please. Let people be positive and hopeful.

It's all we have right now.

[leavetwn]

* KAYLEE BRYANT, CISWOMAN + SHE/HER  | you know SUZIE TANAKA, right? they’re TWENTY-ONE, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, EIGHTEEN YEARS? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to VALENTINE BY HOPE TALA like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole ROLLERSKATES SCUFFED FROM YEARS OF USE, STARTING A JOURNAL ENTRY TWO YEARS SINCE THE LAST ONE, A SIGH OF RELIEF ONCE YOU'RE FINALLY ALONE thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is NOVEMBER 28TH, so they’re a SAGGITARIUS, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( claire, 22, est, she/her )

it’s me again ! bringing a character who i’ve played for a while now, just switched up & such for every rp, and now , i’m bringin her here. :^) i hope you enjoy her as much as i do! tw: mentions of mental illness (anxiety)

𝐈. ━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 .

full name: suzie tanaka. nickname(s): su, anything your muse wants to call her tbh. age: twenty-one. date of birth: november 28th. zodiac sign: saggitarius. gender/pronouns: ciswoman, she/her. sexual orientation: bisexual. romantic orientation: biromantic. hometown: san francisco, californio. current residence: irving, north carolina. occupation: part time waitress at cutie pie’s thanks to her skills on skates. full time student at the local college in her junior year as a creative writing major. she minors in film pro eye color: brown. hair color/style: dark brown, upper-mid back length & she usually just wears it in a simple ponytail. it’s more manageable when she’s out. however, when she’s at home, she’ll leave it down. height : 5′3″. clothing style: you can’t really put suzie’s style into one category. it’s inspired by several different eras & many times she pieces it together. some might call it a bit tacky at times, but she thinks it looks cute. to her, that’s all that matters. tattoos: none. probably could never attempt to get one cause she’s seriously afraid of needles lol. piercings: her ears and that’s when she was fairly young. reference the tattoos portion for reasoning.

𝐈. ━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 .

when you were around six years old  , you first realized that you were lonely. it wasn’t like you weren’t around other people. it was just that those people were mostly your mom and dad. occasionally your cousins would come over sometimes, but they were all older than you by at least four years. your parents were kind of eccentric, and for that, they experienced how harsh other kids could be very early on. they decided they didn’t want you to experience the same things, so since both were felt they were prepared enough to do so, they homeschooled you to keep you sheltered from those types of things. 

you’re sure they had good intentions. that’s not something you questioned, but you wished they’d at least find another kid you could be friends with or have another kid. you found yourself bored by yourself, so you immersed yourself in things like books or whatever movies they had around the house. this is where your love of fairytales began, and you’d fantasize about living in one while you read or watched the stories unfold.

you lived in your head, and you still pretty much do. you’re an idealist, even though you haven’t seen much of the world. perhaps it’s the fact that you haven’t ventured very far from your home that makes you so, and while life could still be boring, you always had another book or movie to keep you company. you grew content being on your own, and the more that you were, the more you began to enjoy your own company.

that didn’t change the fact that you longed for friends. in all the stories you read or watched, the protagonist had one other person along with them for much of their journey. sure, you had people that you were friendly with, but it was never to the extent that you wanted. it was never a best friend or a close group  —  just someone you saw on few occasions. it also didn’t help how you felt when you were around others. the way you monitored every step you took, the way you crossed your legs, or going over the way you would speak to someone in your head over and over. you figured for the longest time it was because you were shy, but a diagnosis of anxiety gave you a lot more clarity and almost a sense of relief. those things started to make more sense.

being alone helped a lot when it came to academics. you spent a lot of your time studying or looking up random ass facts on the internet, and because of this, you’d call yourself fairly smart. you know your shit. it also helped a lot when getting into colleges. you didn’t aim too high though, not yet comfortable being all the way on your own. so, you chose the nearby university to attend. 

you move out. you’re excited, and your parents are nervous but prepared. they’re not oblivious to the fact that this day would come. you’re ready to go out and face the world, but most of all, you’re ready to make friends. you’re ready to go out and experience the world, every small step at a time. you’re convinced at college you’ll become a brand new person, find yourself, and make plenty of friends. 

it doesn’t go like that at first. of course it doesn’t. it’s a new environment, and it takes getting used to. but soon, people loosen up and warm up to you. you’re quick to make a couple of friends. it isn’t at all like the stories you’d read or watched when you were younger. it is happy and fun and joyous, but you realize that friendships take work. it’s a bit exhausting, as someone who had become such an introvert, but you manage and form close bonds. 

as of now, you are working on your degree and managing life one step at a time. you’re doing pretty well, and things are looking up. you keep your head in the clouds still to this day, imagining what the future will be like. you’re still idealistic and optimistic, not that that’s a bad thing.  

𝐈. ━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬 .

i was being exaggerative with the ‘being at home’ stuff rip. i mean, she did spend a lot of time at home, but she wasn’t always there. her dad would take her out to rockin’ and rollin’, and i mean, she fuckin rocks when it comes to skating. it was kind of freeing to her as a child. she def got a pair of rollerblades as a christmas present, and she probably was the kid skating down her neighborhood road and shit from sunrise until her mom told her to take her ass inside. 

maybe seems like she’s ditzy and she’s probably somewhat naive, but she’s definitely not stupid. she’s also a fast learner. she is, however, too nice for her own good. she’ll learn eventually, but she’s hopeful and an optimist at heart 💔

loves her dad but tells her mom everything. she doesn’t recognize it, but her mom was probably her first best friend lmaoo. they have a really good relationship. she has a good relationship with her dad too. he’s a bit more closed off than her mom, and she recognizes that but understands.

has an irrational fear that everyone’s like,,, staring at her & thinking she’s weird. really wants everyone to like her but she’s not sure how to make that happen (news flash, it won’t)

her fam is actually from san francisco but when she was 3, her dad got a better offer in irving so that’s how they ended up here. she knows this & she wonders what life woulda been like if she stayed back in san fran. probably wouldn’t have changed but she literally lives in her head and imagines shit like that’s her job at this point so yehhh 

dreams of being a screenwriter and maybe even a director one day. she saw how film and books influenced her life as a kid & she wants to have the same impact, yk? v cute to me i love that. maybe she’ll write a book one day too who knows

i’m feelin like she has a ton of online friends cause she was seeking connection /w people so it makes sense. shout out to all her online pals who kept her sane & shit, but it wasn’t enough for her cause she really wanted those kinds of things irl.

is a hopeless romantic rip to her. just wants someone to sweep her up off her feet and give her butterflies but this aint no damn fairytale so let’s make it chaotic

character parallels: lily (dash & lily, 2020) , amélie poulain (amélie, 2001) , belle in some ways lmao (beauty and the beast, 1991) more to be added.

𝐈. ━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 .

*  friends, best friends, etc.  — literally any friends at all. this is the connection she craves the most tbh. platonic over romantic periodt ! she just wants people to braid her hair and have deep, personal convos with about literally anything while legally blonde is on the television. 

* a bad influence  —  i mean, she stayed inside mostly & is kind of an introvert. didn’t have tons of friends either, so she didn’t really have time to go to parties, etc. BE A BAD INFLUENCE SHE NEEDS TO LET LOOSE LMAOO. it’ll prolly take a lot to get her out but hey 

* good influence  — someone she’s a good influence on & who she helps in some way. i could see it happenin’. if you see it happening, i mean... hmu you know where i am mwah 💖

* crush  — someone she’s head over heels with. i mean, it probably wouldn’t take a lot. in my head she be catching feelings way too fast. it’s just a thing, but yeah, it could go either way. maybe your character is into her too or she’ll end up getting her heart broken which is lmao bound to happen one day. could also be someone who’s crushing on her but she’s way to busy focusing all her romantic attention on someone else to notice? idk i’m just here for all the plots.

* annoyance  — someone who finds her ass annoying/does not like her. she wants everyone to like her so it would be so confusing and upsetting and she would be like wtf did i do but i want it cause i love angst. sorry to all my muses out there luv yall but i’m just bein real

* again, anything at all  — if you have an idea that you love, pls don’t hesitate to hmu and lemme know. i promise i will 99.9% of the time be down. the same goes for any wanted connection doodads that i reblog like if u see it and ur like omg i luv that... PLEASE hmu i luv u all already & just wanna have plots and write with you srsly

[thecorteztwins]

This is short and maybe not phrased great because I just woke up but--- If you want a cynical world-weary misanthropic character, you actually DON’T need to explain it by giving them the most tragic past ever. People can become disillusioned from very mundane things, and there are forms of trauma that DON’T come from someone hurting you. Ask anyone in retail or fast food, you meet the worst people. The job is terrible, the customers are terrible, you’re on your feet the whole time, you never get the scent of grease out of your hair/clothes, and you’ve probably had to clean up messes in the bathroom I don’t want to describe. From Karens to crackheads, you have the worst clientele, and not only are you not paid half enough for it, society at large does not think you deserve to be and in fact looks down at you pretty heavily, especially if this is your job as an adult. I am shocked whenever someone in these industries does NOT hate people. Another one is working at an animal shelter. You’re going to see horrible abuse and abandonment of completely helpless, innocent creatures on the daily. And on the daily, you are going to have to kill those animals, just because there’s not enough room at the facility, because no one came to adopt them in the allotted time, because some asshole dropped them here in the first place for some bullshit reason like not being a puppy anymore or not wanting to walk them. I used to volunteer at an animal shelter for two years and someone gave their pit bull to us because it was TOO NICE and they had wanted a MEAN dog. They gave their dog to a shelter for NOT being vicious, and a kill shelter FILLED with pit bulls that are extremely hard to adopt because of their reputation. This person essentially executed their dog for being good. And as a volunteer, I never had to be the one to do the killing---that’s why I never became an actual employee, I knew I couldn’t---but fucking imagine what that would do to you, having to gas the same animals you were caring for every day and rooting to get adopted. I can’t think of anything WORSE. A final example is social workers. This is what I meant when I said you can suffer trauma without having it happen to you. Social workers see everything animal shelter workers do, but it’s happening to people instead, often children or other defenseless members of society (the elderly, the disabled, etc) And people are going to do even worse things to other people---I’ve never heard of someone pimping out their dog, but there are countless cases of people doing that to their own children. Social workers are seeing the worst of humanity every day, over and over. They’re generally flooded with cases, each more horrific than the last, and as with the animal shelter, many of these cases do not have happy outcomes. The BEST case scenario is getting the abused or neglected person out of the situation before WORSE things that can happen, but that still entails something having happened at all, and oftentimes they basically have to wait for things to escalate in order to have enough proof to do this. Can you imagine the hate, frustration, and fatigue? What that would do to your mental health and worldview? Not to mention how they’re often treated by parents or caretakers they’re investigating, or even the victims themselves. It’s ROUGH. It’s HARD. It’s THANKLESS. It’s got to be one of the most soul-shattering things I can think of. And it doesn’t involve going into a war zone, or being kidnapped and tortured, or anything like that. I’m not saying dramatically tragic pasts are inherently bad, and they do work for some characters. Sometimes they’re needed for the story you want to tell or person you want to write. I am saying that they are not, in fact, necessary for writing someone who is very embittered and seen some of the worst of what the world has to offer. There are some very mundane ways that can happen, and they are, to me, actually MORE horrific than the usual backstory cliches because they’re so much more real-world.  You can check out any “AskReddit” thread on these jobs and see people post their personal horror stories, and that makes it hit home harder (to me) than any kind of purely fictional evil organization that kidnaps people and makes them be brainwashed assassins or what have you. I can watch movies with that. But I can’t read those AskReddit threads. I couldn’t write this. It’s too real. Though I can also understand wanting to avoid it because of that. And as a note---your character also doesn’t need to be experienced and world-weary to be misanthropic, snide, etc. Some of the most naive and inexperienced people are like that, in fact. It’s very typical of sheltered teenagers, to the point of cliche. Because thinking that everyone is bad and the world is terrible is in fact as naive a viewpoint as believing everything is sunshine and rainbows, with the added bonus of getting to feel all smart and superior for “seeing the ugly truth instead of the pretty lies” and “not being a sheep” and other self-aggrandizing shit these types say, when in fact they just haven’t often see that much good OR bad of the world, because they haven’t seen much of the world period, but have just DECIDED it’s bad for whatever reason. I’d honestly like to see more “naive character goes out into the world and realizes it’s so much different than they thought” stories that focus on pessimistic malcontents realizing how wonderful it can be, how kind other people can be, than more stories about optimistic people being brought down by seeing awful things for the first time. Being mature DOESN’T mean hating everything or seeing the world as this terrible place, anymore than it means trusting that every man in a white van offering candy and puppies is really benign. So if your character is a bitter asshole who only sees the worst? Maybe it’s not because they’ve seen it all, but the REVERSE. Just some things to consider.

[shaekingshitup]

Shae’s First Date

For anyone who is bored: the most brief (that I can recap because ya girl is a lengthy heaux) summary of my first date goes as follows:

EDIT: THIS SHIT AIN'T BRIEF. SORRY NOT SORRY 🤷🏿‍♀️🤷🏿‍♀️ But I put a TLDR at the end.

I matched with a guy on Bumble who had some cool hobbies and some of which overlapped with mine. We talked daily for almost 2 weeks before we met up in person and the guy was a very big charmer/woo-er. Like if I was messaging this kid I was constantly laughing and smiling

Tbh this was a lil bit of a red flag to me becauae I'm like: "no one is this charming. Something has gotta be up" & I legit came up with a few different scenarios. But I chose to shelf them because people do that to me all the time.

Like I'm just a really loving person and I will gas people up or go out of my way to make them happy if I can and people always want to try me like that can't truly be how/who I am or if I'm doing it it's because I'm trying to get at that person and they are always wrong. All the way from best friends to new acquaintances I really just like when people are happy. I mean the world's shitty already, if I can make your day easier or put smile on your face I'm game!

So we're on the phone one night (stayed up to 3 am sacrificing my sleep talking to this dude 🙄) talking more about who we are as people, what we're looking for in an ideal partner, etc. I told him straight up both via call and via message that honesty is really important to me. I value honesty with myself and also with others.

So also in this late night call things got a lil spicy 🌶 🌶 I was honest and told him that I'm pretty much a blank slate. Never fucked/sucked, etc or had anything like that done to me. He was taken aback like everyone I share this with is. Apparently I'm some sort of unicorn 🦄 out here in these streets to all y'all hoes. He makes a comment about stealing a kiss from me the next night and I said "I might allow it."

But the point is. I told him what it was. I was honest. That's my truth.

I didn't tell him that I'd never been on a date/kissed anyone because he didn't ask. Maybe if I would've said something, things would've been different. But I can't "what if" what's already happened y'all!

SO, day of. We messagin and snapping. I'm allll ready. We're going to a drive in and I'd never been to one before so I'm excited. I'm also just committed to making this a good time because I easily get distracted and often don't stop to take my experiences in to experience them fully. So I said not today!!

I got snacks. All of his favs and some of mine. I brought drinks and a blanket. I looked good.

Like I said in my pre-date post: I didn't have any lofty ideas about this dude being my soul mate or anything but I anticipated a good time.

He picked me up at our designated location. My sister met him and got his license plate; because apparently I had enough sense to realize I didn't know this nigga but not enough sense to later realize I didn't know this nigga.

It wasn't gonna take as long to get to the drive in as originally anticipated. So we went to a local park and sat in the car and talked because the park was PACKED and ya know RONA!

It was somewhat awkward because it was our first time talking face to face. But we found a groove and I'm extroverted af y'all. So, I can get people to have a conversation.

Topics range from our days, music and conspiracy theories which he's really into. What kind? Like: Shakespeare wrote the Bible is one. A lot of people that we know from media aren't really the original ones that we were introduced to is another. Ya know like that Beyoncé is not the real Beyoncé. There's two Trumps. There's two Hilary Clintons etc.

So at this point sensible me is like: this can be the point where you go home girl. You're 5 minutes away from your place. You can just say this ain't workin and cut it short.

OPTIMISTIC/BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT GIVIN/NAIVE SILLY ME IS LIKE: well, I 100% don't agree with anything you're saying just because you're saying it. But ya know, I don't know everything and I'm not in the business of judging people-especially since we just met and I don't want this human to feel uncomfortable. So, okay. I don't agree. But I won't judge. Let's just continue on.

If you haven't guessed by now which me I listened to, you may be just as silly as I am 🙃🙃🙃

But obviously I continued on and that's what I call mistake #1

So we're driving to the drive in. I'm realizing we're kind of different in ways. Most notable is that dude was raised Jehovah's Witnesses and celebrates 0 holidays & I'm in love with Halloween and at least birthdays.

We miss the drive in entrance due to my poor navi skills & he decides to smoke before we pull in. He offers it to me and I accept. This is mistake #2

Ya girl hasn't smoked in 6 years. I tried edibles recently. But that shit ain't the same. I really just feel like I said I wanted to be present and then I smoked and I was tired and everything was kind of dull?

So I'm high and sleepy but still a lil excited because it's my first drive in!! We get there and park and the drive in is really just a giant protection screen we all park in front of. Lmao. 😅 Idk what I was expectin but not that. But it was still cool. It's 10 and this movie still hasn't started because the last one is still showin credits.

Dude says he wants to chill in the back but he's going to the bathroom. I AM SLEEPY. THAT IS WHAT WEED DOES TO ME. Plus I was on the phone til 3 AM. So I'm like imma close my eyes before this thing starts since it's already late.

So while he goes to the bathroom I legit laid down in the back on a pillow because ya girl is a sleepy heaux 😴

He comes back and pits the pillow in his lap and is talking to me because this movie ain't started yet. My eyes are closed but I'm listening and everything and he's massaging my shoulders and whatnot. Eventually advertisements about common courtesy come on and what not. But that's not important and I don't move.

Soo he says something I'M ASSUMING IT WAS ABOUT THE KISS (I don't remember y'all. I'm about to skimp on some of these details because that high was really kickin in and I was feelin foggy.) But, I said "I would allow it." And he kissed me.

It honestly felt anticlimactic as fuck. Yeah my mind is kind of foggy because of the weed so I feel like I wasn't as fully cognizant as I would have been if I was sober minded. But also, it just happened

I'm in my head af. I've never done this and I'm sure I'm shit at it but I'm trying not to be ya know? Dude's tongue is in my mouth. His hand is under my romper.

So, I'm a roll with the punches kind of human and the rest of the film we pretty much are making out (lowkey meh), groping (I hate this word) & watching Deadpool ( for people who needed that detail)

As previously stated, all of this shit is new to me. But, I'm also not a "prude". I chose not to kiss/fuck anyone prior to this because it was what I wanted for a period of time. I couldn't do much in the date department because I was just not approached often or by people I wanted to entertain. But the opportunities for all that physical shit were presented and I chose not to just like I chose to engage in those activities on this date. I'm real big on not judging nor regretting those choices because those were what I wanted at one point and that's it. Soo if you got opinions about what I was out here doin, keep em to yaself.

We ended up making out and I feel like it was cool.. but just not great. We did other shit minus actual fucking. But it all just felt pretty muted to me. Not bad. Not uncomfortable. Just not great and I think in hindsight it was because I a) really didn't know and have an established connection with this dude and b) I was high.

He really wanted me to suck his dick and I was really hesitant to do that. Not even that much because I was checking off a lot of "firsts' or anything like that but because I swore I was gonna be shit at it due to 0 experience and that was what I told him. Like, I wanna be good at shit and also I would like if the person I was hooking up with was actually enjoying being with me ya know? Is that not a thing? Y'all just be out here tryna get ya nut and say fuck it to whomever you with? Lemme be a unicorn then. 🦄

But anyways, I did this and he says like nothing. I'm in my head af trying to recall upon all of my BP smut I've read and trying not to suck at sucking (SO THANKS TO ALL OF Y'ALL WHO BE WRITING SMUT!!). After a few minutes the car turns off and Ryan Reynold's ain't talking anymore. Sooo I take this as a sign that I should stop and tell him as much.

He turns the car back on so we can still hear the movie & I'm pretty much like half watching the movie and talking to him like: "Soooo. I did that and I feel like I was right." To which he responds, "I've had worse," which is like ya know the compliment of the century and the most reassuring feedback you can give someone who is insecure about shit they've never done.

We still ended up making out and I gave him a handjob and finished the movie. I can't recall if it was at this point or when he drove me home but he basically implied that I was a liar and that is the shit that literally makes me wanna go back in time and tell former me to never say yes to a date with this nigga.

He drove me home and I was pretty quiet listening to Ari Lennox (💕) and thinking/processing. He gets to my place and we're talking now that we're parked and tells me that he thought I probably wasn't right about never having sex before. He told me I probably just had sex like 3 years ago and it had been so long that's why I said that and that's why my pussy is so tight.

So, I'm real life hurt. I like to consider myself to be someone who has a good character and I am really big on honesty.

So I asked him why he said that if I told him from jump what it was. He told me that his ex lied a lot and that he just couldn't believe me..

And I know for certain that his assumption was independent of any of my actions. He literally just told me so. He projected his insecurities onto me. But I'm a sensitive ass heaux and that shit still shook me. PBS raised me right. I don't be out here lyin & I don't like when people try to tell me who tf I am.

We pretty much just ended up arguing about the night and he was doing it on purpose because he thinks it's sexy when women are mad. But when I get mad, I get done. If I let enough shit slide and you have the audacity to try and flip my script, I will fucking write you out of it.

Then I looked up at the time and realized I was sitting in this car arguing with nigga for at least 25 minutes. So I was just like: bitch, why are you still here?

I told him straight up that when I got out of that car he could forget about talking to me altogether and he was like: "I'll let you know when I make it home."

I told him he need not bother because apparently I'd finally gained some damn sense. I exited the car. He left. He hit me up when he made it home but I just deleted the app and removed him off of snap because I meant that shit.

TLDR; Went on my first date with a conspiracy theorist I matched with on Bumble and he told me I lied about my lack of sexual history.