#maybe something touching happened idk
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Blortch how are you feeling about Mike, Jay, Rich, and Freddie Williams going to a murder house to investigate ghosts. Like how do you think that went for them
bad, with 1 singular funny thing sprinkled in
#blortchmod#maybe something touching happened idk#after all love is more important than truth. read all about that in umine- * gets shot *#jk i mean that rich and jay seem to care enough about mike to go along with all this so what do we care about any ghost evidence#for starters to say that their brand is integrity is a reach#mike#rich#freddie#jay
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ULTIMATE SHIPS CHALLENGE - Goodbyes [1/5]
#cadedit#cloakanddaggeredit#tandybowenedit#tyronejohnsonedit#marveledit#*#*usc#tyrondyedit#tyrandyedit#usersanshou#userrin#userautie#userchibi#cinemapix#never mind that this goodbye lasted maybe 90 seconds#it's her dread to panic to fury to downright devastation#give olivia holt her flowers!!!#it's the way she tries to grab hold of him knowing damn well what happens when they touch#i need them in a romcom or something idk
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Every time I try to write lately, I just can't get anywhere with it :/ I can string words together but they feel empty. Events happen, but what story are they even telling? There's no emotion, no depth, so substance at all. I just can't make anything that's about or says anything at all and idk why :/
#it's starting to get really frustrating#I've got 3 wips that are all different stuff that I keep coming back to and none of them are going anywhere#it's like there's no substance to any of it#the events feel soulless and empty#what am I even saying with anything that happens#'oh this story is about intimacy' where's the intimacy then bitch#like yeah they're touching but like what's intimate about it where's the emotions#goddamnit I just want to make something and I just can't#like maybe I could make something that's shit and soulless but I don't want that I want it to be good#and I keep trying and trying every week and I get nowhere with it and then I'm like :/ well fuck now I don't know what to do with myself#and then the bad feels get worse cause the thing that's supposed to make me feel better isn't working and I can't manage to actually do it#ffs#idk what to do but sometimes complaining helps so I'm trying that lmao#who knows maybe it'll help#shut up nerd#text#misc
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hey guys? hey guyss?
#was that thing with the mirror ever elaborated on or did I just miss it#like I mostly understand the baron thing but what happened to gorgug after he touched that fucking mirror???#I have a fucking inkling that it had something to do with whatever the red fractals are#or maybe the dead god?#idk I just think about the implications that Lucy might have been killed by her party mates#and with the stress tokens history might be at risk of repeating itself with the bad kids?#whether the other rat grinders went into a rage and killed lucy or if lucy went into a rage and they killed her in self defense#idk man gorgug is ONE stress token away from... ???? I assume being consumed by rage but who fucking knows man#fantasy high#d20#fhjy#fhjy spoilers
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THE RETURN OF FAIRY RUI ✨
#project sekai#rui kamishiro#when in doubt. rui scribble#karamell doodles#karamell’s funny fairy au#it’s been six months since i last touched this au. i miss him#but! nothing is happening anymore! time to draw!#(ignoring the animatics for now. still figuring out what to do with my yt)#next on the fairy au agenda is lore post -> colouring wxs refs -> vbs designs#maybe i CAN do a big story with this… idk what exactly yet but something!#nuff o that tho. i rlly like this page :3
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Haii, how are u doing? :>
#saw this ithink it fits#hope you are doing good anon#ah wait i forgot people don't understand the letters#it says first semester in uni vs final semester something like that language its beautiful#no actually im doing good it's a miracle how some hours of going out. comfy talking. touching grass and eating a burrito#can change my whole perception of reality but im back to self isolation so the soul might rust#but dont worry don't worry we will make it we will make it i think maybe#kind of a vent in the tags? i dont know dont read this in bad mindset idk man i need to be in the forest#silly squeaking time#i feel like my life its going to end but its okk it happens you knowww it's just the fear of change#it's strange how i can feel things and understand them like it's outside of myself why can't i just feel one way i mean it keeps me alive#so its fine wait i think i might delete this later#justr to clarifyu i doont play league don't play it#im scared im not going to make it bc it's difficult to concentrate when i feel im going to die and the world its going to explode JKASHDJAK#WE STAY SILLY WE STAY SILLY WE STAY SILLY#if life lets me i will get therapy after this#i don like thinking about how i feel i start to asdfhgdshdfsdhgdgfsd
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saving u all from the asshole fuckboy aventurine agenda half of this fandom is so hellbent on portraying
#i think he’s very Tongues & Teeth by the crane wives but. contrary to popular belief. i don’t think he’d be the one singing#yeah he’s not stupid but i could see him being so in love……#if someone managed to bring his guard down and was with him for years#not sure if he could bring himself to leave once the kisses started cutting his lips and the touches started bruising#maybe i’m ‼️ wrong but idk this man screams fucked up attachment 2 me#he’s used to pain.. i think he’d put up with it#at first he’d flee. if it was anywhere near the start of the relationship? yeah he wouldn’t stay if he felt he was on “the losing end of#the bet”#but i also personally believe it would take a lot to be romantically involved with him at all#like i think it would have to be a friends first thing. slowburn in fanfic terms.#idk i’m just nottt getting the one night stand vibe from him.#so like i said if someone was with him for a longgg time… and truly tore his walls down.. i doubt he’d be so quick to run#i think he keeps himself closed off. but when he does love he loves wholly and fully to the point of it hurting.#not out of malice but out of sheer intensity..#yeahhhh tongues & teeth…..#love is love but instead of in the gay way it’s “sure it hurts every time it happens but at least i feel something”#probably the gay way too though
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Atsushi's back in the game!!! ۶( ˆ o ˆ )
#And Kouyou!!!!#Also. I can say Steinbeck is kinda 👀👀👀#King of the specific category of “I forget I like him until he's on screen”#I'm seriously unlocking memories with this rewatch. Like I haven't thought about it in two years–#but I just know when I was watching the anime for the first time I was being like#“Of COURSE the villains need to spend several minutes each episode explaining in detail how their own superpowers work so that the–#protagonists can get a perfect idea of how to best counter them. Why are villains made so freaking stupid in this show” aljhvwslchvqliyqwb#But. Eh. I guess that's just bsd to you.#Alsoooooo random thought of the day: I don't really favour how Tanizaki's ability was adapted in the anime.#I very well understand they were going for this green Matrix-like illusion effect‚ but every time someone says “... Snow?”#I'm like please explain where do you live that has snow glowing green.#Aamsjgvfaskjhfv sorry this is me being very. Cranky and nitpicky and having terrible audience etiquette in refusing to–#engage in suspension of disbelief. It just bugs me akvakcvqkyb I just feel like... Green is such a non-snow color–#that quite of completely disrupts the Light Snow / Sasame Yuki aesthetic. I would have liked it much better light blue or simply white.#What else. The way the Guild just goes on at stereotypes still troubles me a lot. The “usamericans can't be touched by laws–#because they use money to corrupt anyone” “foreign criminal organization come in our country to corrupt our pure and untouched soil”#Idk. Maybe all of it is true. Can it still be deemed a stereotype when it's objectively something that's happened before–#and will probably keep happening?#I suppose I'm just not a fan of the constant hostility against any foreigner. Idk.#This situation besides is extremely ironical. If you meet me irl it probably won't take long to see me being very outspoken about–#how much I despise usa cultural colonization of all other countries. It's something that really bothers me‚ how rooted and pervasive–#their influence is. So in a lot of ways I can relate to the author's sentiment#I just feel that. If you start treating them as stereotypes and ignore the complexity of a country and the wide spectrum of causes–#that contribute to its attitude in international relations. You end up practicing precisely what you're trying to criticize.#Okay this is the last time I'm getting into the politics of the Guild arc lol#random rambles#This time I took watching the episode slow I feel a little late
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thank youuuuu after the encouragement to commit on this scene and others like it in the first place, a bit from The Cuddling Part in the qpr two aces fic -
Then Dani’s hand moves, settling on Jamie’s side. He leaves it there, his thumb moving in slow strokes over the ridge of bone at the bottom of Jamie’s ribcage. There are callouses on his palm that Jamie can feel, slightly rough against his skin. It’s beyond frightening but he doesn’t want it to stop. He thinks he might die if it stopped, actually, if that gentle touch was gone and he was left to lay here, cold enough to shiver without it. It doesn’t leave. It stays, pressing a little harder after a while, like the way that Jamie has relaxed and leaned back into Dani’s chest, not flinching again since that first time, has given him permission to settle in too.
#gav gab#fic: loneliness into loneliness#writing liveblog#gav answers#ask box games#this is from a scene that's about a few things i.e. changing they way they're sleeping#now that dani's shoulder has healed enough to be like. id like to hold YOU this time if that's okay.#and there's a thing about like. direct skin-to-skin contact#it's a fully and intentionally nonsexual scene for the record but dani's hand is like#on jamie's side under his shirt#i don't totally have a justification for that except that it popped into my mind and now it Has to be here#something something intimacy and proximity and touch and hands etc#looking at this still like i truly don't know why this scene happened this way#but it came into my mind like#dani's hand is under jamie's shirt on his side#and it's Just That#it's just about touch it's not about anything else#and even though that's maybe weird? idk?#it HAD to be like that. there's no other way for the scene to go#i'm like. still so anxious that's a Weird thing to write but also who cares#maybe it is#maybe i want it that way anyway
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suni ... im having byler visions. visions include 8 year old miwi riding their tiny bikes and falling over in the grass and holding hands when will cries over lonnie and mike writing stories and will illustrating them and its all very seven by taylor swift and then (THEN) lonnie and joyce get divorced and will moves away and they completely fall out of each others lives. and theyre thinking of each other in little ways over the years. will concretely realizing hes gay at 13 and suddenly seeing his childhood memories of mike in a different more precious light. mike keeping a picture of a dragon will gave him and jus not being able to throw it out every time he goes through his bedroom. i am having visions of them suddenly living in the same building in college and running into each other somehow during move in week and locking eyes after a decade of not talking. what do i do about these visions
oh. OH!! THE VISIONS! I SEE THEM TOO !! i offer to u all the sagely wisdom i possibly can:
hope this helps !!!!!
(yes i did just make all 3 of these just for u i hope u like them)
#no but seriously#DUDE#PLEASE WRITE THIS#!!!!!!!#LIKE#I HAVE NEVER NEEDED SOMETHING MORE#the vision is so clear i can see it SO WELL#THE RECONNECTION#THE WONDERING IF THE OTHER PERSON REMEMBERS EVERYTHING#head in hands#and they don’t stay in touch when they’re gone maybe bc the byers move and everything happens so fast#n bc they’re young and like . aren’t good with letters and stuff#IDK NOT TO HIJACK THIS CONCEPT BUT#ITS SO CLEAR#GET THE VISIONS OUT OF UR HEAD AND ONTO AO3 WHERE THEY BELONG !!!!#LIKEEEE#UGH SECOND CHANCES FICS#AND IN COLLEGE#WHEN BOTH OF THEM ARE LIKEE#‘DOES HE REMEMBER ME’#and wondering how to bring it up without being weird#mike misses will so much for years and thinking abt him like every day but he doesn’t realize what he was feeling until he sees will again .#perhaps#and will like u said knowing how he’s felt for years#but not wanting to push or make things awkward#them catching up#mike asking will abt his family n everything#(head in hands bass boosted)#/ask#byler
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I'll be honest, there was something oddly cathartic about my weird little fit of interacting with past me's posts like she was some random idiot stranger earlier. Something something treating a version of yourself as a separate entity to call her a stupid bitch.
No, i'm not plural, oh my god some of you people i swear.
#alaskan surplus#hard to explain#it's like that comic about the person talking to their high school self and giving them a hug but like way dumber.#my child self needed...something but i won't say just a hug. idk what he needed exactly but maybe someone coming and telling him#''hey a lot is going to happen soon and none of it is normal. You need to know that. none of what they'll do is normal. but you'll be ok.'#my high school self needed a kick in the ass followed up by a hug#but the baby trans NEET version of me i was talking too earlier today?#well first she needed someone to make her realize she was being gaslit and manipulated at all times. than they needed to give her a hug.#than they needed to drag her outside kicking and screaming to touch grass and make her talk too a brown person.#actually blogging on your blog
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All these posts about ovulating HOW DO YOU ALL KNOW IF YOU’RE OVULATING??
#Istg I’ve never once been aware that was something that was happening to me and I’ve been pregnant twice#in retrospect maybe that’s part of the reason I’ve been pregnant twice 🤔#as with most things happening in my body… idk that seems like God’s business#too catholic to want to be in touch with my Moon Energies not catholic enough to know because using the rythym method#personal log#too personal perhaps
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okay so like. i have ocd, and obviously with that comes intrusive thoughts. but sometimes i have intrusive thoughts without a compulsion coupled with them. is that a different thing. is that just anxiety. send help
#friday chats#like. my ocd is contamination ocd and i've been through therapy for it and i'm pretty good at combatting it#but these thoughts are just ''[something bad] happened/is going to happen to you''#i don't want to get into the specifics; just that there's a couple different ones#maybe it's just because if my brain is so sure it already happened i feel like there's no way to negate it?#like it's not as clear-cut as ''you've touched something Dirty; go wash your hands/use germ-x or else you're Going To Die''#but that doesn't explain the ''going to happen'' ones#idk man. i'm not meeting with my therapist again until august#and i've been struggling telling her about stuff bc with the video calls my family might overhear things#but then maybe august's will be easier since i'll be at college#who knows. i guess we'll see#one of them has also been pretty persistent for a few years now that i think about it. just shows up every now and again. wahoo
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there are things that you don't do for a year or more and pick up just right where you left off and these days i fear loving you might be one of them
#double meaning on that but. yeah.#it's like. i haven't touched the imaging software i use for an entire year. soldering iron in decades. pick it right back up. to my surpris#muscle memory is crazy#i don't draw for months and pick up right where i was with a few sketches bc the work you put in stays even when you don't actively practic#when it's something you've practiced weekly and daily it sticks with you and ig that's good#but then it's like. the horrors. that haunt you. yk? what if a part of me will always save a soft spot for my ex. what then.#what if I'm fine now and I'm doing okay and i don't miss it and I think i'm okay moving forward and i see her and suddenly I'm on the floor#what if some part of me that was in love never really went away what if i haven't managed to kill all of it yet#bc i genuinely would not know what to do. i. i don't want to admit it but one of my worst fears is liking someone who doesn't like you back#and what's even more horrifying is if it's obvious. if everyone can tell. and usually I'm good at hiding it! (not really) but it's just. id#it's shame in liking someone who you tell yourself you don't want to like and you know you shouldn't. and not having control over it.#hoping praying that either she does something that turns the little switch in my head that sends her into the unforgivable category#or that i become straight. or that i become straight. mhm. yep. or ig the other option is i get a crush on someone new but like. mm.#i kinda have gotten w every person I've had a crush on since hs and i kinda don't think im ready for another rs so soon.#the baggage i just got is. hm. idk i kinda don't wanna unpack it. it's something that can easily be done if i had the missing pieces but.#i don't think I'm ever gonna get them. so. instead I'm gonna take. maybe another 3 months or 5 months or a year or a few. to just. slowly.#idek. it's just triggering old things. bringing me back to when i was 14. i never really got closure from that either. it took me 3 years.#I'm sure this time it'll go away faster but idk experiencing it a second time has a different feel to it. idk. it's weird.#it's like. idk. it's like you're watching it happen and you're not even there anymore. idk. i really don't know.#oh. I've been dissociating.#idk maybe it's for the best i really don't know i really don't know and everyone says i have to do what's best for myself but idk what is#my life is on track things are moving forward I'm doing better and healing but i can't escape the feeling of dread#something is going to catch up with me sooner or later and idk what it is idk at what intensity and idk if i will be ready for it#but anyway. when you love someone intentionally every day for a while. when does it go away? will it go away?#or will i have to live haunted by ppl who are alive but changed. so practically dead w/o the opportunity to mourn. for the rest of my life?#like i don't think i get it. loving this person was like. cooking and eating. intentional. ingrained into everyday life. effortful.#what if my mind does forget but my body still remembers. what then. what if it's like searching for sth you don't remember having anymore#ig I'm just trying to figure out how much to forget these days. how much won't hurt if it all comes back to haunt me#delete later
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Anyone else have drawing based body dysphoria ? Like whenever I draw a certain way for a bit, it changes the way I perceive myself almost….?
#Like recently I started drawing wider characters and now I just feel oddly lanky and thin#but other times it’s like …. I dunno it’s weird . But it’s something Uve noticed has happened a few times#Maybe I’m just out of touch with reality idk
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if Wardell somehow broke containment from this little blog, my biggest fear is that the marauders girlies would be like "OMG IS THAT REMUS??? IS THAT REMUS MARAUDERS??? OMG MARAUDERS FANART??? THIS LOOKS LIKE REMUS!!!" bro keep your nasty HP shit away from me and my creations :[ keep that distasteful offensive AIDS/HIV allegory character away from me jfc
#i see it happen so much on pinterest fdsjkl#ppl post art of like... any scruffy looking man with a haunted vibe and they all come flocking to the comments#just because a guy is scruffy and haunted and tired and maybe has something to do w dogs does not mean he is your precious marauder#idk why that little group in that series has such a rabid fanbase#all the ppl who are marauders fans should go read the r.aven cycle. i think they'd find what they're Wanting in those guys#and they wouldnt even have to change canon at all. you got the gays u got the teen angst u got the magic. its all already there#but actually u know what maybe i dont want those chuckleheads touching that book series that i love so much fdsfjkl#however... it'd be great if they could finally move past rowling's bullshit#SIGH !!!! OH WELL#dandy.cmd#hp cw
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