#maybe someone will pick them up maybe it’ll just stay as a post idk i just need to create

[wildmrmix]

How would we feel about a royal/ medieval setting au

Ik it’s popular for cheesy romance but I could literally not care less about stuff like that, so it’s just the greasers messing around and breaking the law. The socs are, idk, royals (guards, actual royalty, anything fancy). That’s all I got for now

Curtis gang steals horses or something and the socs are so done with them, what kind of tomfoolery is this bro

Maybe the other gangs live in different parts of the kingdom, or different kingdoms entirely and they just kinda pop by every now and then (also reversed)

[evansbby]

Does anyone have any cool sexy dilf stories? Like stories that you wouldn’t mind sharing of y’all with dilfs?? Idk I feel like I need to live vicariously through you guys jajsjsjs —

Okay so I know you posted this last week but I have to tell someone 💀

So since the beginning of uni I’ve had a crush on my chemistry professor, and let me tell you that the first day I had his class all I did was fantasize about him😭😭

This man is 6’4 (I’m 5’3🤭) so the height difference is so hot. He’s 35 (I just turned 20), he’s half Mexican half Colombian (he curses in Spanish when he drops something or is just mad and it’s the hottest thing ever). He has brown eyes and his hair is like Ari’s hair (all i can think about is how hot it would be to rake my nails through his hair while he’s eating me out). Also he’s so fucking buff holy shit, like his biceps are the size of my head and every time he wears a tight shirt/blouse it literally makes me want to do unspeakable things. For reference he kinda looks like Miguel O’hara (idk if you watched Spiderman into the Spiderverse but that man is hot as hell), but he has fuller lips. He also has a beard which also kind of the same to Ari’s beard.

So here’s where the actual story begins😭😭. He has a daughter who’s 8 years old - btw he’s not married and her mom isn’t in her life, I don’t know why - so my cousin who’s also 8 years old happens to be in the same class as her and they’re literally best friends. I didn’t know at first that her dad was my professor (and the guy I dream about) until my aunt asked me to pick my cousin up from school and I see him talking to his daughter and my cousin. When I tell you I almost melted because he was so sweet with them😭😭😭 When they saw me walking towards them he was also surprised to see me, but then he smiled and made small talk 😫

Next day when I see him in class, he asks me to stay behind and when I tell you I almost fainted. I’ll type out the interaction because it’ll be too confusing.

Professor: “Hey, so I didn’t know you were related to (cousins name)”

Me: “Yeah, her moms my moms sister so different last names haha”

Professor: “So, I wanted to ask if it’s okay for her to come over next week? I tried to catch your aunt and ask but she’s always there earlier than me, (daughters name) and (cousins name) wanted to watch a movie and just play.”

Me: “Oh yeah, I’ll ask my aunt. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind (cousins name) talks about her a lot.”

Professor: “Yeah those two are really close.”

Me: “But sure I’ll ask my aunt and get back to you tomorrow.”

Professor: “Thank you it’ll mean a lot to them.”

So after this we just quickly said goodbye and when I walked out the classroom I almost threw up he made me that nervous😭😭 It’s the way he was standing as well, he was standing and kind of half sitting half leaning on his desk and his blouse that day was a white so I kinda saw abs (slut) 😫😫😫 honestly feels like something out of a movie😭

Anyway so I came home and I was going to my aunts house anyway for dinner with the whole family (I’m Moroccan so these kind of big dinners are almost every week💀). So when I’m there I ask her and she first was kind of iffy about it because she doesn’t want to send her 8 year old to a random mans house (her words, not mine😂) even though she knows his daughter. And then my other cousin who’s my age and knows about my crush on him, jokingly said “maybe she should go with her, he’s her professor so she already knows him”. I swear to god I wanted to strangle her right there and then because my aunt thought it was the best idea ever and now she wants me to go with her.

I feel like this is getting really long so I’ll try summarize what happened afterwards😭. So the next day I don’t have chemistry so after I was done with all my classes I walk over to his classroom. This man was just sitting there drinking coffee and working and I thought (still think) it was the hottest thing ever. When he sees me walk in he smiles at me and greets me. I greet him as well and tell him what my aunt said.

Me: “Maybe a bit weird but my aunt wanted me to come with (cousins name) to keep an eye on her you know? If that’s okay with you of course.”

Professor: “Yeah no that’s fine don’t worry about it, besides it’ll be nice to have someone there to keep me company.”

WHEN HE SAID THIS I SWEAR TO GOD HE SMIRKED/SMILED AT ME I CANNOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP😭😭😭.

Anyway I gave him my aunts number so they can arrange it and then we said goodbye and stuff and I left. My hands were shaking when I was walking out of the classroom, he makes me that nervous😭 My aunt called me Sunday morning telling me that the playdate is next week. Either he or my uncle is gonna bring us.

I normally have his class on Monday but he wasn’t there, I think he had an appointment or something😔 But I do have his class today so lets pray he’s there🤞🏼🤞🏼

I’m sorry if this was really long but I honestly feel like this is too good to be true, and when I saw your post about any dilf stories I immediately thought about him. I also wanted to tell someone who won’t judge me and I honestly love your vibe so I hope you won’t think I’m weird or something 😭. I also need advice because what the hell do i do?!?! I have such a big crush on him, besides the looks he’s so sweet but also so serious and bossy (idk what to call it but it’s hot😫😫).

I’ll keep you updated if you want if anything else happens🥴🥴🥴

- 💐💐

Oh my god bestie I am so intrigued but at the same time you are twenty years old and that is a BABY to me practically so idk idk idk what to say!!!! Pls just be sensible about this… men love to take advantage of younger girls and I know you don’t want to hear this 😭😭😭 but I feel like I have to say it otherwise I’d be being fake ��🥲

Of course, you’re entitled to do whatever you please! And honestly HONESTLY this professor seems into you but the fact that he’s a professor and you’re his student is a red flag??? Right??? Like… you’re his student 😭😭😭 on top of that he is a lot older than you so please be careful!!!

Apart from that why does this sound like such a picture perfect fanfic scenario?? Like lmfao wow I didn’t realise y’all were out here literally being real life Y/Ns meanwhile all my professors have been ugly and lame 😂😂😂

[vinnymauro]

wip search game

i was tagged by @quinnkeerys thank you!! my words are: sweet, deal, touch, wish, secret. i currently only have 3 wips so let’s see how this goes. forgot to post this the other day and have since finished the last chapter of don’t so this is my celebration.

from tied me to you (cheerscoops part 1)

In effort to forget about Chrissy Cunningham and her stupid smile, her stupid hair, Steve headed straight bore the backyard. Instantly met with cheers and immediately asked if he’ll raise his personal keg stand record. With a quick look at the keg and the guys surrounding it, the charming smile he’s known for slipped on and he gave one nod. “Fuck it, let’s do it.” King Steve does what King Steve does best. Later he ended up in bed with someone he’d never see again and it didn’t bother him. Truthfully, it doesn’t. By the beginning of November, Chrissy was out of his mind and replaced with another sophomore. Someone equally as warm and sweet, with sharper angles but beautiful eyes, a shy smile. She cares about school and grades and doing well. She’s so much better than any cheerleader. Nancy Wheeler felt right.

from cos you live in my daydreams (jargyle)

Did he? Things don’t feel the same anymore and Jonathan liked to believe it just had to do with the move, missing their friends and Hawkins, and that they’re going through the same trauma that he is. They’re still healing and maybe it’ll be a long while before anything will feel close to how they used to feel. El was still trying to get used to not having her powers and dealing with the loss of Hopper, all while trying to navigate high school and being a kid. Will is more withdrawn, missing his friends but it’s something more than that. Jonathan may see that they’re struggling but he’s finding it hard to reach out. Because a part of him wants to withdraw too.

from tied me to you

But nothing could ever touch Richard Harrington. Not even after getting caught with his assistant, Julie, and it’s why Steve’s mother can’t leave Richard alone on work trips. Richard Harrington is perfect. So his family had to be too. Fuck perfect, Harrington, live a little. Tommy’s voice wheedled into him, with a laugh and a shit-eating grin while Carol’s was milder, a pop of gum for emphasis while her laugh grated him. There is no angel that lives on Steve’s shoulders. He had a devil and a devil and they were apparently in love with each other.

from the last chapter of don’t don’t don’t throw it away (edancy)

*wish came up 4 times just from eddie’s pov. “Shit.” He scrambled getting up, not bothering to pick up any of their stuff, “hey! Come on. Where are you going?” “Away from you before I decide to kill you,” luckily she had stopped walking shortly after speaking, leaving them to be coated in darkness, the music barely reaching them. He wished he could see her properly. “You’re a fucking idiot, you know that?”

from the last chapter of don’t

*secret came up three times in this chapter Instead, Holly had been the one who had pulled the whole thing into light. She had grown attached to Eddie after their one time hang out, evident enough to Nancy whenever she would ask and often reminded Holly not to say anything in front of their mother. It was supposed to be a secret between sisters. Well, six year olds aren’t the best secret keepers in the world. She asked, rather loudly, if Eddie would be coming to Nancy’s graduation dinner. All while Karen was still holding on her hand and Eddie had walked up at the same moment.

tagged: @stargyles @iero @willaferreyras @rejectofsociety and if you feel like doing this at all just feel free to say i tagged you!! idk who writes anymore bc i’m self absorbed 💀

your words are: alone, control, pieces, home, stay

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Bro I wasn’t expecting tumblr to actually send it twice damn I thought it got stuck loading that commenting thing is so funny though that would fr be me

LMAOOO RIGHT??? It’s so on point to the oaeu vibes I saw that and oaeu was my very first thought

LMAO Nagi stays winning in the end fr pursuit really is just writing itself it’s crazy how it’s development just comes so easily

SHSHSHS no we’re just the power duo forming the whole of calculus dw

Saes hair is truly something……idk his whole Emo personality also doesn’t do it for me like not because it’s emo but something about the way it’s done is not very appealing to me….anyways…

SHSHS REAL I see those paragraphs every once in a while and I’m like wait so what’s this doing in the Karasu tag….also when someone people mass copy paste their tags and end up tagging characters that aren’t even mentioned in what they posted im like HUH Karasu fr a rare sight but wait if you actually made more smaus I would fr eat that up it’s funny because just the other day I was like “I need to read a funny smau because whatever I just read was not it” so I just reread what you posted for me earlier on LMAOOO (truly peak)

Pause wait what website just told listed it under ground ghost combos then??? Maybe I accidentally clicked a wiki-ass link then but you get my point LMAOAOA um anyways

Yesss that’s basically how I am too LMAO imagine a triple typed pokemon that’d be kinda funny OOOOH wait I can see Rin being the royal guard in a royal au wait why do I feel like I’ve actually read one where he’s in that position…ok anyways I also thought of Hiori but that’s pretty obvious given his whole parental situation LMAO (giving Wb) wait actually maybe Reo?? Kinda on the same lines of Hiori with parental restrictions where his parents are picky about choosing someone with idk connections or high standing

LMAOO I mean now that you mention it if you want I wouldn’t mind both HAHA I originally meant like pokemon themselves and how you’d try to combine them in combat/format the teams LOL not a dumb question at all I should’ve clarified whoops

50% opps that spread is kinda crazy LMAOO aiku please be my wingman FR imagine you pull something like what sae did on him like you approach Karasu and chicken out and you say “yeah Aiku thinks your hair looks ass” HAHAHA

CRYING when you change your blog theme for April fools I’ll go by Isagi anon for a day

LMAOOOO Aiku being like “lil bro please help a man out get this ratata AWAY” and Niko makes quick work of it wait aikus sweating bullets and the way Niko wouldn’t care to be set up with someone but just goes with it anyways HAHAHA

Imagine hoopa and aegislash join forces and hoopa opens a portal to that isekai dimension again nagi and reader look over like “fuck no not again” crying houndoom is me mourning pursuit Barou AHAHAHA GARCHOMP NIDOQUEEN IN A TUX AND DRESS imagine Karasu picked them out with yukis advice (begrudgingly) maybe they ran into each other at the shop but since yukis a coordinator and all he’d totally pick the outfits that go the hardest

PLEASEEEE LMAOOO the term programming princess has me dying THE FREESTYLE PISSING actually one of my fav quotes it was so funny I remember reading those tags and crying “multiple dick mentions but ITS NOT NSFW”

SHSHSHSH OTOYA LMAOO no aiku still has many aikulations to preach about he’s not ready to go

LMAO hey I mean content is content pursuit ftw also unrelated but I’m crying the Duolingo edit with Rin HAHAHA you should edit that one emo girl to be him too(the one with the purple hair)

- Karasu anon

LMAOOOO tumblr is so unpredictable it’s ridiculous it always does the exact opposite of what you want it to do!! like it’ll delete ask drafts when you’re trying to type them and double send when you don’t want them to…either way it’s problematic 😩

oaeu is basically canon ig HAHAH we’ve got oaeu tik toks now!! and yesss pursuit is more like me just peeling back the layers and looking at the world that exists already instead of coming up with it as i go…honestly that’s one of the things i really like about just worldbuilding and have vague plot ideas but then leaving the idea alone for a while — i feel like it marinates a bit and then if i end up coming back to it (like i did with pursuit) when i’m ready to actually write it it’s already developed by itself in the time i’ve been gone (which sounds crazy but it makes sense to me LMAOOO)

together we’re basically isaac newton…that reminds me that my high school calc teacher had a poster hanging in his room that said “sir isaac newton died a virgin and that’s what he gets for inventing calculus” or something LMAOO idk why but it’s giving oaeu…not aiku himself though but like oaeu chris prince would def have that kind of poster (karasu and otoya got it for him and made yuki give it to him and he’s so happy to get a gift from yuki that he hangs it up in his office and treasures it forever)

i feel like sae is just emo in a cold way not even a funny way?? like we’ve discussed that we like sassy guys (ex nagi and karasu) and i feel like one emo i DO like (megumi but lowkey only his miraverse version) is also very sarcastic and whatnot which makes him funny and witty and entertaining to write whereas sae is just like. blunt and rude but he’s not even clever about it if that makes sense HAHA

speaking of megumi…jjk’s finally over…can’t lie i was very very unimpressed with the ending but uh at least it’s done ig 😭 lowkey feels unreal that it’s over

NO BECAUSE THOSE PARAGRAPHS LOWKEY HAVE ME HEATED like ok i do know some people who write those so i can’t be too outward about how much i dislike it but come on…put some effort in…i’m not trying to be the fic gatekeeper here or anything but literally just take the time to put one character’s name in the fic because what do kaiser gojo and eren jaeger even have in common to have a fic all be referring to them??

HELPP not the pokémon knock off wiki leading you astray 😩 but yes i agree i was also confused that there weren’t ANY rock ghosts LMAOO

i think in one of the newer games there’s some mechanic with triple typing?? but i don’t get it so i couldn’t explain it HAHAH agreed i can see rin being a royal guard OR now that i’m thinking about it i have no idea how i didn’t see it earlier but BAROU!!! he would absolutely eat in that role because he has that sass that meticulousness that physique that discipline he’s actually even better suited for it than rin in my opinion…kunigami could pull it off too but idk i don’t fuck w ginger anime characters like that so i can’t explore that avenue any further 😭 i agree hiori is the obvious pick…actually now that you mention it that’s exactly the route that i’m taking for the reo fic!! which leads into the next paragraph well ig 🤩

uhh honestly i don’t even know half of the pokémon because they’re all from the newer gens and of the ones that aren’t i don’t think i have used any in my playthroughs?? so unfortunately no team breakdowns in that sense (although for some reason scovillain is giving me strong kunigami vibes…i can really see him having one LMAOAO maybe because we’ve slandered it sm) BUT for the tentative plans i have so far (these are subject to change on a whim so don’t be too married to them 😰)

for kaiser it’s angst in a fantasy au so i think i’m going to go with this au idea i had for him a while ago when i was searching for my next long fic (this is pre hollyhock) and just condense it…sadly kaiser is very similar to karasu in that he’s incredibly easy to write about (although his characterization is finicky he’s agreeable to most situations so by all rights i could be righting him more but i just don’t like him SLKJFHSJ) anyways he’s either an angel or a demon (haven’t decided which) and reader summons him to solve some problem or smth i have to do some research into a specific myth i’m thinking of but that’s the very very basic edition!!

sae is enemies to lovers in a fantasy au ngl no idea how i’ll approach this because even though enemies to lovers is such a common trope with sae i feel like i don’t see it?? i also am not a huge enemies to lovers fan (this is so controversial but i think it’s overdone, never as good as people think it is, can lean misogynistic, and is usually cringy “tension” to up “spice”…ik childhood friends to lovers is considered boring in today’s climate and i always get hate for this but i think it is the SUPERIOR trope and not at all boring if written well…childhood friends angst >>>> “enemies” angst) but anyways rant aside i’ll probably figure something out fantasy au’s are super easy to come up with stuff for so it shouldn’t be too difficult

i also have 0 idea what i’ll do with hiori but since you said miscommunication i know for a FACT it’s somehow going to involve karasu meddling i just get such strong vibes…like whatever we do bro is going to be involved in some way shape or form it’s a must HAHAHA

for reo like i said i’m thinking something where it’s the reader not being good enough for his parents…they requested childhood friends to lovers and angst so maybe something that leans towards peregrine a bit?? not as much but kind of like how reo made reader be his friend but maybe instead of reader resisting it it’s his parents once they discover that she’s a random nobody?? idk this will be workshopped but that’s the general vibe i’m getting i think

BAROUUUU yeah i have zero idea what i’ll do for barou it’s enemies to lovers and relationship of convenience?? for some reason though i just have this sense that there may be aikulations involved HAHAH

love at first sight + misunderstandings + karasu?? i’m getting a very fwtkac vibe from this where maybe he’s like madly in love with reader but he’s a dumbass and thinks he’s mediocre so he accidentally keeps offending her and she thinks he hates her but he’s obviously just a stupid loser simp

sae number 2 is relationship of convenience plus angst i feel like probably smth similar to the instrument perhaps?? like that kind of general set up where sae’s pr team is just tired of dealing with him and his rude ass comments and the messes they keep ending up in because of it so enter reader dating him to save face or smth along those lines

KARAKUNI LOVE TRIANGLEEEE no idea what i’ll do here but it’ll hurt hehe

i’ve already describe the isagi one so we’ll skip that but then we have noel noa and i rlly want a kind of murder mystery vibe to it almost?? like reader getting implicated in some case (maybe as a witness) so she and noa team up and try to find the criminal and there’s a really dry humor mixed with more serious scenes throughout

the person who made the normal + rock request for sae actually gave me an entire prompt for it regarding reader being his tutor in spanish but considering how much sae i have to write and how he’s not one of my favs i don’t mind the specificity or else i wouldn’t have known what to do lowkey LMAOO so that’s where i’m going with that and then rin’s is childhood friends and modern au so. ig just a classic childhood friends moment?? like white butterfly but not as angsty maybe

PLSSS aiku’s always catching strays i love him though…THE RATTATA omg or imagine it’s a scatterbug and that’s how niko eventually ends up with a spewpa which ofc evolves into a vivillon and bonus points if tullia calls aiku later and is like “so what did you do with that scatterbug i sent you 🧐” and aiku’s like “uhhhh my girlfriend’s son captured it by accident” LMAOOO

ISAGI ANON SDLKJGHS i’m crying also omg nooo nagi and reader would just be like “have a nice honeymoon!!” and shove their daughter and charles in there to figure shit out those two are DONE with the adventurous life they just want to stay at home and relax 😭 HAHA omg yuki would be so happy to help karasu too like he thinks this is finally their bonding moment and they’ll actually be friends now but then he makes the mistake of bringing his manectric out to ask for advice and karasu releases a string of expletives so foul yukimiya almost loses his hearing along with his vision

i feel like otoya is just the one that would randomly pass away LKSJFS like that makes no sense but not even in angsty way (this time…cough hollyhock cough) just like if i had to imagine any of the pursuit characters up in the clouds with barou it WOULD be otoya 😩 AGREED aiku is needed to spread his knowledge and wisdom on planet earth it’s not his time yet fr 🙏🏻

THE DUOLINGO RIN I WAS LAUGHINGGG MAKING IT because like he loves owls and i saw someone make a divider set with owls and as a joke they threw the duolingo owl in there and i was about to reblog and be like “somebody write a rin itoshi fic and use the duolingo owl as the divider” and then i was struck by the vision of him AS the duolingo owl and it all spiraled from there 😭

[primaverabutitalreadyexists]

“I really don’t care being « called out » on something that isn’t true, but I have the right to defend myself. I will keep drawing him as I see fit and using his cane/crutch, and brace when the setting call for it. Have a nice day!”

It was when you said this that did it for me. Only willing you include a disabled characters disability aids when it fits your aesthetic? I know you have quite a few followers and for some reason that makes you think you’re above taking criticism but my god that was a shitty way to respond. I know someone else said that we are more than our disabilities which is true, but it’s also something we can’t just turn off whenever we feel like it. That’s why when an artist decides that it just doesn’t ‘fit the piece’ they’re drawing it kind of sucks.

Having « few followers » does not make me above anything or anyone else, I would say it’s quite the opposite actually. And I gladly take any criticism, as long as it is constructive, and done with the desire to help people improve in a field they lack experience/knowledge. That person was straight up agressive in the first place, already assuming things and straight up went for a confrontation that could have been easily avoided. And let me tell you, I’m at fault as well, I shouldn’t have matched the same tone, and that’s why it escalated this way, I’ve been super dumb in my phrasing. Maybe it was a clumsily written criticism, maybe they didn’t meant to make it looks like an assumption, idk and most likely will never know.

Including a character disability has nothing to do with aesthetics, a disability ISN’T an aesthetic to begin with. You can’t just say « oh no it’ll ruin my piece, go away crutch » and if you ever find a tweet or anything from me saying this, please send it to me, because it just never ever scratched my brain, not even once. Like a lot of artists out there, sometimes I draw things in a way that makes me feel good, that I think look okay. And if they offend some people, it isn’t in my intentions, I would never willingly do something as mean and stupid as that. I use Viktor for a lot of male body studies, like that shirtless one, that was just a primary version of an other with one with the merged brace and robot parts that isn’t even finished. That person picked 3 fanarts I’ve made of Viktor without his crutch or his brace. Does that make me a fucking ableist?? I would love to post all my fanarts, sketches of him featuring them, because I have a lot of these, and future projects, unfinished pieces that now I’m just too fucking self conscious to even finish. I love drawing him and now I feel like I do not deserve it. It was a bad way to answer them, and I totally agree with that, but I won’t stay here, being called a disgusting term and say nothing.

When I said when the setting calls for it, I was talking about wether it’s a portrait, a certain pose, if he’s seen entirely, or not, or if it’s Act 1, 2/3, machine herald or even the post shimmer augments design non canon thing a lot of artists are imagining. We still don’t know how he will turn out in s2, and a lot of people are making fan design (amazing I must say, I’m so happy to see a fandom coming with such wonderful and original ideas). I’m not saying I draw things like « oh what if I included his crutch this time? Would be so cute and cool 🥰 » It’s all about the way I’m making the piece and the setting he’s on. Currently I’m working on a piece where he’s using his crutch to get up from his bed, for exemple. Idk if it makes sense, it’s frustrating.

Anyway, I’m glad you’ve reached to me to talk about it, and to speak your mind on the matter.

[blossom-hwa]

a little birdie told me to request surfer san at a party idk what that was about but i do kinda want to see skater boy yeosang there too if you're up for that 👀👀👀 heheheheh love u linaaaa <333

/chants/ surfer san surfer san SURFER SAN thank you very much mai for putting this in my inbox I adore you <3 skater yeosang will be up next so I hope you enjoy what I end up spitting out for that one too !

4 year anniversary drabble game: send me a Stray Kids/The Boyz/Golden Child/Ateez member + a prompt (check out the post for ideas) and I’ll write a drabble for you!

Set in the same universe as Kickflip (My Heart) (skater!Yeosang) and Hey, Hey - Let Me Kiss You (surfer!Juyeon) :)

I’m gonna cry this ended up being way longer than I thought it’d be but you know what I’m 100% turning this into a full scenario so fuck it it’ll be as long as it has to be

~

Title: Truth or Dare

Pairing: San x gender neutral!reader

Word count: 2.2k

Triggers: cursing, alcohol, shirtless woosan for a hot minute, implications of sex towards the end (NOTHING GRAPHIC)

~

Okay, so in hindsight, maybe coming to Hongjoong's party knowing you were going to be here was a mistake. In his defense, the water probably wasn’t out of his ears when he told Wooyoung he would come, despite the latter having told him specifically you were going to be there. It probably caused some temporary brain damage. That, and San has never really made the best decision when it comes to crushes. 

Especially you. You’ve been the worst so far. Around all of the others, he’s been able to keep a measure of his confidence, able to flirt a little and initiate something here or there, if it’s reciprocated. But you...

You’re something else. Always have been, ever since Hongjoong introduced him to you in all your gorgeous glory. Which is probably why Wooyoung looked so surprised that San agreed to come without much trouble - he probably thought San would be chicken out immediately and he’d have to convince him. 

San’s here, though, several drinks in and very much buzzed if not drunk, sitting in a circle of people that includes you. Even five or six drunk adults away, San can feel his face heating up when you look in his direction and throw him a wink with that gorgeous smile spread across your face. 

His heart thumps a little faster.

“You look like an idiot,” Wooyoung hisses, jabbing him in the side. “What did I tell you about playing hard to get?”

San rolls his eyes. “Since when did your advice ever make enough sense for me to take it?”

Wooyoung huffs. “You look like a lovesick idiot,” he sniffs. 

San doesn’t deign to reply. 

“Okay, okay.” Hongjoong comes back from wherever he was and settles between Seonghwa and Mingi, a bottle in hand. “Shut up, everyone. We’re playing truth or dare.”

Someone raises an eyebrow. “What is this, high school?”

“The way you all act, I wouldn’t be surprised.” San stifles a laugh at your reply. 

“Says you.” Hongjoong snorts. 

You grin. “Did I ever exclude myself?”

Everyone breaks into laughter that Hongjoong has to calm before setting the bottle in the middle of the circle. “Rules are the same. Spin the bottle, if it lands on you, pick truth or dare. If you chicken out, take a shot.” He raises an eyebrow. “Got it?”

They all get it, even the ones who look a little like they’re on the way to passing out, and so truth or dare begins. 

It’s fun. That might just be because San has been drinking, but when Seonghwa is dared for the second time to write some gross in the air with his butt, he and Wooyoung are falling over each other with tipsy laughter. Hiccuping with giggles, San answers a question about who in this room he’d lick peanut butter off of - “Hongjoong, I like his body.” - and then takes off his shirt for five turns and keeps it off because it’s kind of hot, anyway, and he doesn’t really want to bother putting it back on. Wooyoung isn’t much better - he got dared to take off his pants but Seonghwa forced Yunho to amend it to his shirt, and San pats his friend’s pecs affectionately before the next person goes. 

Eventually, the bottle lands on you. You raise an eyebrow. “Truth.”

“Is there someone you like in this room?” Mingi blurts. 

There’s a chorus of groans, complaints of ‘Okay, this is too high school for me,’ and ‘For real, Mingi? Seriously?’, but San’s attention is on you and the way your expression has turned slightly uncertain for the first time tonight. You bite your lip, staring at the shot glass in your hand like you’re really contemplating chickening out, but then your eyes flicker up and in his direction. 

San’s breath catches in his throat. You didn’t look at him. You definitely didn’t. That was just coincidence. Don’t get your hopes up, San. 

“Alright, alright, shut up.” You raise your voice above the noise of people teasing Mingi. “The answer is yes. I do.”

The complaints turn into oooooohs and wolf whistles and ‘Who is it? Who is it?’ but you’ve already got the bottle in hand and are spinning it in the center of the circle. San barely notices, even when Wooyoung’s hand squeeze his knee - who is the person that you like? There’s like fifteen or twenty people here. It could be any one of them. It’s probably Yeosang. He’s pretty and everyone has had a crush on him at least once. Or Seonghwa? Maybe even Wooyoung?

Cheers erupt all around him and San looks up, startled, to see you glaring at the bottle like it personally wronged you in a past life. 

Because it’s pointing at you again. 

“Truth or dare, Y/N?” someone yells. 

Next to you, Yeosang whispers something in your ear. Your eyes widen. “You wouldn’t.”

“Oh, but I would.” Yeosang grins. 

You glare at the bottle some more. “Dare.”

“Everyone shut up, I’ve got this.” San watches in confused silence as Yeosang sits up. “Y/N...” A grin that looks more suited to Wooyoung spreads across his lips. “I dare you to kiss the prettiest person in this room.” 

San’s heart drops with every second that passes. He wants it to be him, badly wants it to be him, but in a room full of people who look like Seonghwa, who look like Dahyun, who look like Juyeon and Chaeyoung and Yeosang and - god, San can’t even list all of the names - 

How would it ever be him?

You make a very rude gesture to Yeosang that has everyone cracking up, but you don’t eye the shot glass this time. Instead, you throw your shoulders back and let your eyes rake over the room. 

“Wooyoung.”

San’s heart drops. Of course it’s Wooyoung, his best friend in every life, one of the prettiest people San himself has ever laid eyes on -

“Move over.” Suddenly, you’re up in San’s face, pushing Wooyoung away. He blinks. When did you come all the way over here? But he doesn’t even have time to ponder the answer to that question because your smile is so close, now, just half a foot separating your lips, and you’re reaching out a hand to cup his cheek and San is short-circuiting as you say -

“Stop me if you don’t want this, okay?”

San blinks. Don’t want what? His heart is beating so fast, faster even than when he catches the highest wave of the afternoon, you’re so close and this is all he’s ever wanted, why would you even imply that this is something he doesn’t want - 

Your lips press against his, and San’s mind goes blank. 

You’re kissing him. You’re kissing him. You’re kissing him because you think he’s the prettiest person in the room - he, San, Choi San, surfer boy who turned into a mess the day Hongjoong introduced him to you - you think he, of all people in the room, is the prettiest -

It occurs to him that he’s still shirtless. He doesn’t exactly know what to do with that information. 

You pull away and San gasps for breath, eyes staring wide into yours. You smile at him softly, lips slightly swollen with the kiss, and like he’s underwater, San can kind of hear everyone screaming and whistling and whatever in the background, but when you speak, suddenly, everything is crystal clear. 

“Was that okay?” you whisper. 

Yes. Yes. Oh, God, yes - San nods once, twice, three times and then blushes when your smile grows wider and the sparkle he likes so much turns brighter in your eye. 

Nothing he’s ever seen could be more beautiful than you right now, eyes sparkling and lips smiling under the dim lights of the party, pulling him forward for a second kiss.

. . .

The rest of the night passes in a blur. Truth or dare ends, San takes another couple of shots, and you’re somehow by his side the entire time until the party’s over. Both of you stay behind to help clean up a bit, but at around two, Seonghwa shoos the rest of you home, and Wooyoung meets up with San by the door to walk back to the apartment. 

“Move it, Woo.” You appear again, shoving Wooyoung out of the way. “I’m sure San won’t mind if I walk him home instead.”

A horrible grin splits Wooyoung’s features and he nods quickly, giving San a very unsubtle wink made worse by the fact that he drank way more than San did after the game. “Sannie, do you mind?” he asks. Then, not waiting for an answer, he loops an arm through Yeosang’s, who looks very confused. “I’ll see you at home! Or not!”

You and San walk out of the house in silence, mostly because San has too many thoughts at the moment and they’re all jumbling up into one big mess. The euphoria from kissing you earlier has worn off slightly as the alcohol left his system - he’s mostly sober now - which means he’s thinking. Too much. 

“San.” You look over at him, a streetlamp lighting your face. “Come on, I won’t bite.” You smile. “If you have something to ask me, you can say it.”

He blinks. Blinks again. Then, as though your words unleashed a flood in his brain, he asks - 

“Did you really think I was the prettiest person in the room?”

You stare at him, eyes narrowed and surprisingly lucid given how the party went. “Yes, I did. I still do.”

Oh. Oh, okay. San feels a little like he needs to sit down. So the kiss wasn’t just a one time thing - you’d do it again, probably, if he’s interpreting your words correctly - 

“Why?”

This time, you look a little incredulous when the word leaves his mouth. Then you shake your head. “You really don’t think you’re beautiful, do you.” It isn’t a question. 

San ducks his head. For all his usual surfer bravado, the confident face and smile he presents when he’s about to hit the waves, he can’t seem to find the courage to look at you in this moment, to let you really see everything brewing behind his eyes. 

Fingers settle under his chin and tip it up so that he’s looking at you again. “I don’t bite, San,” you remind him again, still smiling. “I happen to think you’re very pretty. Beautiful. And even though I still want to slap Yeosang over the head, I’m very glad he gave me the opportunity to show that tonight.” Your fingers walk upwards to cup his cheek the same way you did when you kissed him. “In case you were wondering, by the way, you were the one I was talking about when I said I liked someone. And I didn’t only kiss you just because you were shirtless.”

A small smile settles on San’s face. It’s strange, the way you seem to be able to read his mind without him saying anything, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like it. “I like you too.”

“I know. It was a little obvious.” You laugh when San whines, going red under your touch. “I wanted to say something before, kind of ever since I saw you in that wetsuit when Hongjoong introduced us, but it felt like I’d scare you away.” You raise an eyebrow. “Am I scaring you away now?”

Are you scaring him? A little, kind of, but not in a bad way. It’s more like you thrill him, make his heart race faster and faster the longer your fingers linger on his skin. You’re not scaring him away. If anything, you’re scaring him towards you - it’s weird, but that’s the only way San can describe it. He shakes his head. “No.”

“Good.” You grin. “Because if I was scaring you, you probably wouldn’t want to kiss me, and right now I really want to kiss you again.”

Your lips meet once, twice, three times under the dull glare of the lamp on the empty street, San’s arms settling around your waist, your hands coming up to wrap around his neck. When you break away after the third kiss, eyes hooded and lips swollen enough to make San’s mouth go dry, a soft glint appears in your expression. “Want to come home with me?” you ask. “My roommate’s out of town.” San follows the movement of your eyelashes as you blink. It’s captivating. “Feel free to say no. I won't take offense.” 

If it were anyone else, San doesn’t know if he’d believe them. He might stop it here politely, even tipsy as he is, and ask to just go back to his place instead. But he trusts you. Has trusted you from the day he met you. Because nothing in your words or your face ever seems to mask a lie, and besides, his fingers are itching to find their way up your shirt and somewhere else as he kisses you again and again -

He kisses you, laughing against your lips. “I guess I should let Wooyoung know I’m not coming back tonight.”

“Oh, he’ll get the message even if you don’t say anything.” Your grin is brighter than the stars. “Come on, pretty boy.” You kiss him again. “Let me show you how beautiful I think you are.”

[winteaten]

Hi!

I’ve been saving all the fanfics that meant and mean the most to me in my favourites/bookmarks on my browsers for years, and gave each fanfic a weird description as a name. These names were always meant to be just for me (especially since they were generally picked in the middle of the night while i was really sleep deprived), but after looking through my list, and talking some people’s ears off whenever they asked for fanfic recommendations, i figured maybe i could share it online as well, as a way to both have a back-up of my list, and show some more love to these stories i care so much about.

(the fanfics are listed in chronological order from when they were saved on my browsers)(which is why it’ll be mostly hartwin at first and will then shift to mainly destiel in later posts)(also i try to tag as many of the writers as i can, but i only tag them when i’m sure that i’m tagging the right account. And unfortunately, tumblr won't let me tag certain blogs, idk why. I'll put a * next to the ones tumblr won't let me tag. If you know the account for other authors that i haven’t tagged, please do let me know and i will edit the post)(also also some authors will be on my list more than once, so if you’ve been tagged and don’t want to be tagged in the future, again let me know and i will make a note of it)

Now, after this very long introduction, coming at you from my ever growing favourites/bookmarks page on my internet browsers, here’s the beginning of my list:

(H): Hartwin

(D): Destiel

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(H) One of the coolest hartwin fanfic ever…so good: keep you like an oath by kirkaut @kirkaut *

(H) Now THESE are my favourite hartwin fanfics: Time Waits for No One (series) by Ferrero13 @ferrero13

(H) I’m really starting to wonder if every single fucking hartwin fanfics is a motherfleepin’ piece of art: One Foot in the Grave (Window to Heaven) by FlareWarrior @flarewarrior

(H) This shit had too much smut, made me talk to myself in the dark (at least more than usual) and made me lose hours of sleep. Overall, it’s a mother-fucking good fanfic that basically ruined my existence for a few days: all the riches you’ve surveyed by starsand @starsand8 *

(H) I didn’t know if i was going to add this to my favs, but it made me laugh too much, i can’t lose it: #hartwin by sushicorps (Inclinant) @sushicorps *

(H) Aaaaaah, why do i want to cry, it was so good, and not sad at all so whyyyyy: Someone to Watch Over Me by sadieb798 @sadieb798

(H) Aaaaah, it was so gooooood, there wasn’t even any angst, such a dreaaaam: A Taste of Mallorca by Regency @sententiousandbellicose *

(D) Cute cute cute overload, it’s a cute, overload.: After All These Years by peanutbutterjelly-pie (Aleakim) @peanutbutterjelly-pie

(H) Holy Fuck.: Breathless (collection) by xxjinchuurikixx @xxjinchuurikixx *

(D) I don’t fully understand why it makes me so sad, when it’s a happy ending, but it does.: Don’t You Wanna Stay by turningthepages @turningthepaiges

(D) I mean, it was sweet and all. I just don’t want to lose it.: Queer Eye by fangirlingtodeath513 @fangirlingtodeath513

(H) I mean, you know that if there is time travel in the tags, i’m going to read it. Simple. Obvious. Clear.: A Ring of Gold by thingsishouldntbedoing

(D) I was expecting something overly angsty, and i got one of the greatest, fluffiest destiel fic i’ve ever read. Plus, ~30k words read straight, with no intervention… I feel good.: Cowboys and Real Estate Angels by almaasi @almaasi

(H) I wasn’t sure if i was going to keep it in my favourites… But i’ve been following it for so long, and the story in itself is so sweet, i just couldn’t really let it go.: Cast Your Fate To the Wind by elrhiarhodan @elrhiarhodan

(D) If it makes me smile that much, i’m keeping it: Go Down With This Ship by PorcupineGirl @porcupine-girl

(H) I’m not always super-duper fond of amnesia fics, but this one was cute, not very angsty, and with an adorable ending.: These Hands (Had to Let It Go Free) by Vacilando @getinthefuckingjaeger

(H) It was so cute: i blinked (and there you were) by Della19

(H) It’s by the author of your favourite (hartwin) fanfic(s), it’s amazing and it isn’t finished (and might never be): The King’s Man (series) by Ferrero13 @ferrero13

(D) It’s not the best fanfic ever, but it was so good, and made me a little sad in the end for no reason at all.: Love Equals Tragedy Plus Time by deadpai @deadpai (update on my thoughts on it: love how i said “not the best fanfic ever” and now i consider it one of my favourite destiel fics ever)

(H) Just pure happiness, and the most oblivious Harry I had ever seen. This man, i swear to god…: No Charm Equal by potentiality_26 @potentiality-26

(D) Like, it wasn’t exceptional, but it was still so great.: Syncopation by K_K_TiBal @thebloggerbloggerfun (update on my thoughts on it: omg again, the name i gave it sounds so lukewarm, but it’s one of my absolute favourites now)

(H) So cute, i think i might die because of it: Dream In Red by Corvin @mustardprecum

(H) So precious. Like the most precious adorableness that could ever had existed.: The Popularity of Mr. Pickle by Scandalmuss

There goes the first part of my list, thanks for checking it out, now please go give some love to all these amazing stories! I am also very open to fanfic recommendations, so if anyone has any, don’t hesitate to send them my way, i could talk about fanfics all day.

[halcyon-writings]

Asking again to make sure it reaches you. I really want to read BnHA drabbles or headcanons where Bakugou, Todoroki, and Inasa finish their remedial courses for their hero licenses, but then realize they haven't contacted their s/o ONCE while their courses and training were going on. And the last call/text they got from her was her asking if they want to break up so they can focus on being heroes. Now they need to apologize for accidentally ignoring her and convince her it wont happen again

note(s): okay so i’m definitely glad you sent this in again bc i didn’t get the first one omg. but hi yes here we go after 84 years thank you for your patience!! again small reminder that i mainly write gn!reader, however i did try for this rq as you specified female pronouns in the request however but idk how well i did djskdjs

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all my links can be found in my pinned post!

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now let us set the scene *cue that typical harp transition music*

When you had agreed to run to the store real quick to pick something up for an extra dinner dish, you had believed it would have helped get your mind off of the particular elephant in the room.

When in fact, being alone with your thoughts did not help in the slightest. You check your phone for what feels like the nth time today, and still, nothing. You knew that remedial courses would take a good chunk of their time, and you were very thankful that you had passed the provisional exam on the first try, but still, what about a hello? A, how are you? something, anything!

And maybe, just maybe, during your small emotional crisis you send what looks very closely like a breakup text to your boyfriend because, after all, you’re very emotional at the moment and it felt necessary okay?

So of course when you’re boyfriend finally gets to reading said text, he, quite literally, almost has a heart attack.

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Katsuki’s first response, once he gets to reading all the messages he missed, no thanks to the BakuSquad’s gc and Kaminari sending memes at 1 am followed by Mina and Kirishima’s laughter/keysmashes killing his battery, is to just curse out loud. One tired “Fuck.” Because he may not have realized it at the time but he really was pushing you away. He probably goes to Mina next, because she would be the better choice in asking for advice. (And would keep focus bc while the rest are good at giving advice it’s staying on topic that’s the problem).

And also Mina and Bakugo friendship is severely underrated and we need more of it thank you!!!

Following her advice, Bakugo will go to wherever you are. And If you told your parents about him , he is ready to plead his case, if he’s gotta do the whole shebang he will. Katsuki genuinely wants to make up for it. If he’s bringing you your favorite snacks, he will. Along with whatever else you want him to bring. One of the next ways he’ll go about making up for it is quality time. Because he genuinely likes to hang out with you.

Whether it’s napping or cuddling together while watching your show/movie of choice, or just walking around the town and finding cool hangout spots. As long as it’s with you he’s more than happy to be there. (Although he may not be as expressive, you’ll know when you see the soft and fond look on his face. But tease him about it and he’ll vehemently deny it.)

However the hold he has on your hand gets a little tighter, but he’s still like, gentle? idk words man. but like he’s very soft. And he makes note to not let himself get so caught up in hero work. Because breaks from working himself to the ground is important. Even more rewarding when he gets to spend time with you afterwards.

Out of the three of them, Inasa definitely has the... loudest of reactions and responses. He might have shouted, which then got the others concerned because again this was probably when he was leaving the remedial course and nothing was really wrong before hand. Or if he’s on the train he scares some passengers and an old grandma almost hits him with her purse. Idk he’s having a time guys and not a good one. He definitely will google search good ways to make up with an s/o

He can and will show up to your house with a giant bouquet of flowers and dressed up, he had to be stopped from wearing a suit though, but it was close. Inasa wants to show he's serious and that he really wants to make up for this, please stop him, he can and will buy more flowers if he thinks it'll help the cause. The fact that someone like him can look like a kicked puppy so easily only makes this more sad dfjskfjs. help this poor guy

If you're not busy, mans is ready to take you out to go eat something then and there, because he's ready to make up for missed dates/hangouts asap!!! In turn you gotta tell him, really, he doesn't have to rush it. Because if he really tried everything he had planned you guys would miss the last train to get home and that would not be fun. Just the fact that he's trying this much means a lot. And it also helps settle the fear that this was just a bad case of miscommunication and that he wasn't ghosting you. (Unless- jkjk these aren’t these kinda hcs)

I think Inasa is really good at giving hugs, like he’s big and that muscle isn’t for show. Like where’s that one redraw meme where one person just is pressed against the other’s chest like “:000” and looking a little smug bc that’s you and Inasa okay. Especially when he’s brought you home after your day of adventure, it’ll take some convincing to let you go, as once he holds onto you, he clings subconsciously. But rest assured that when you’re free again, he will do this all over again. Even when you confirm that everything is okay, he’s still gonna try his hardest.

Todoroki’s reaction is definitely a lot more curbed and bottled in compared to Bakugo’s or Inasa’s. That’s not to say he isn’t concerned when he reads your text and the meaning of your words begin to set in. You can almost tell that something is wrong, however, just by the slightest way his body language shifts. But rest assured, he’s gonna get back to you asap so that you both can talk this out. Shoto pre-Izuku’d character development definitely had him trusting a lot less, and so you are definitely really special when he trusts you enough to get close to and even ask you out.

He will however give you time to cool off, because you probably aren’t feeling too great sending the message and he wants to be able to collect his own thoughts too. Then when he’s meeting you, he’s very forward in his apology, he admits what he did wasn’t great. (Ngl I feel like he’d act like he killed your pet or something with how sincere he sounds todo baby...)

He’ll tell you all about the remedial courses, and he feels a bit relieved when you laugh at the “five weenies” joke. (It’s hard to stay mad at him when he looks so serious and says that with a perfect deadpan). Instead you ask him more about his time with the others there. Maybe a little ashamed because this kind of thing is still pretty new to him (and no offense to them but his parents weren’t exactly the best example as to what a relationship should be like). You see the way his eyes light up and you realize, it’s okay.

He’s learned a lot from this. Not just how to be a hero, but for his own personal growth too. Will he stumble a bit now and then? Yes. But at least he knows that he has you along with him to help him stand back up. Slowly, but surely, Shoto is getting there. Relationships in general are newer to him given that he avoided them in the beginning at his time at UA, but once he gets close to someone. He keeps them close and doesn’t let you, so you feel really special.

[closetedotaku01]

Akaashi and Tsukishima with S/O Going Through the Death of a Loved One

TW: Mentions of death/loss (nothing gore-y or descriptive), swearing, idk me kinda being over it in the a/n.

A/N: I lost someone close to me. He passed away about a week ago. Idk if I’ll post this, but it’s bringing me some comfort to write it… so perhaps it’ll bring comfort to read. Or maybe it’s just angst. I honestly can’t tell. Fuck it though, right? We all die anyway. Too bleak? Too much dark humor? Well… that’s the way it is.

Akaashi Keiji

He knocks on the door. He’s been perfectly fine with you ignoring him up to now, but you need to drink some water at least. He’s carrying medicine to cure your headache as well. Your attempt at quiet sobs, failing miserably, each one causing him to worry a little more.

You open the door this time, and he can’t help but smile a bit. He’s glad to see you’re well enough to open the door.

“I brought water,” he says, holding up the glass. You open the door to the bedroom more, tucking yourself behind it a bit. He leaves what he brought on the nightstand, and begins making the bed for you.

“Keiji,” you say, voice high and raspy and breaking, “I can do that.”

He nods as he finishes up with the bed, and moves to clean all the tissues from the floors.

“Keiji, stop that’s gross,” you say, a small laugh catching in your throat that only forces more tears to form.

“Do you want another box of tissues, kitten?” He asks, voice calm and soft as he picks up the last of your mess. You just nod.

You stay, holding the door open. He brings the box and leaves it with the aspirin.

“Need anything else?”

You shake your head.

“Okay,” he says softly, “let me know.”

He stops when your hand catches on the back of his shirt. He turns back to you, opening his arms, and he shuts the door as you fall into him.

“I miss him,” you whisper out.

“I know,” he whispers back, large hands soothingly rubbing your back, the other massaging the back of your head. “But you need to stop crying. You’ll get a headache.”

You nod into his chest, without even attempting to stop the tears.

Akaashi just pulls you in tighter, steadying you in his arms.

Tsukishima Kei

The room crackles and fizzles, the air around you pricking at your skin, striking and burning at will. Another hand falls on your shoulder, “I’m so sorry for your loss.”

The words only serve to force lightning from the sky. You shrug the arm off your shoulder, mutter out a half-hearted, "thank you", and head to the next room. It’s quieter. Empty.

Someone tries to check in on you, but you ignore them. You’re not crying, so they figure it’s best to leave you be.

Tsukishima walks in, and you hate the way he looks. Dressed all in black, his eyes tired from helping you prepare for today. He sits beside you, letting your quiet overwhelm him. He reaches his hand closer to you. You don’t take it. You feel bad. You know the action hurts him. Know that he’s wracking his brain to try and find a way to talk to you. To bring you comfort. To make you smile.

The lump in your throat swells knowing that even if you faked it for him like you tried to for everyone else, he wouldn’t buy it.

“I hate it,” your words come out smooth despite the ache in your throat and the growing throb in your head.

“I know,” he says.

“I’m tired of it. Of all of them with their ‘my condolences’ and the ‘sorry for your loss’ and their ‘you’re so brave or so strong’. It’s all bullshit. It’s their way of getting rid of their own guilt for not getting closer with him. They toss their pity on someone close and they suddenly feel absolved. Can’t they just fuck off? As far as I’m concerned unless they were there with him at the end, they don’t even have a right to cry,” you say, rising from your seat to walk into the corner of the room, hoping to hide away the tears slipping from your eyes.

Tsukishima remains quiet. Listening in case you have more.

You take a steadying breath before walking back over to him. His eyes meet yours. And they’re like they always are. No pity trapped behind them. Just a little exhaustion.

You put your hand in his hair, stroking it gently to help him relax a bit before extending your hand to him.

“Thank you,” you say, as he rises and lets you pull him into a hug. His arms just tighten around you.

When you pull away he leaves an arm around your shoulders, as you both head back out to the main room.

[janiedean]

if you ever wrote that rant about grrm making jon his chosen one deconstruction i'd be very happy to read it 👀

hello anon sorry for the lateness but here we go *deep breath*

sssooo, I had once ranted about it though not mentioning the thing I mentioned in those tags so lemme see if I can find the op and like... cp the main argument and amend it bc it was long, but okay so I found it, original anon asked me: why is Jon considered to be one of the most special characters grrm created? Why is he not the typical hero of fantasy books?, my original answer was here if anyone wants to go there but basically lemme just cp the first part making it shorter and then I'm adding:

first thing, the Typical Post-Tolkien Chosen One With A Shitty Life Before He Finds Out He Is Chosen™ character (I’m saying post-tolkien because every fantasy writer in existence who copies tolkien thinks that lotr went like that and instead it didn’t) usually goes through the following steps: his life sucks up until the beginning of the series, his family generally hates him/her or doesn’t appreciate them or abuses them or anyway doesn’t make their life easier and they’ve never known any different, but *something* never quite worked right and they always knew something was missing in their life, they just didn’t know why. suddenly someone who knows they were Chosen™ shows up and tells them that they’re actually Special because of this this and that and they have a quest to go on to save the world or something. our hero/heroine obviously is finally validated and while their quest is hard and full of hardships and maybe they lose a few friends along the way, finding out that they were Chosen gives their life meaning, they usually find love/friends/everything they didn’t have before until they fulfill the Prophecy™ and live more or less happily ever after, possibly after hooking up with the Person Of Their Dreams with whom they had UST up until the last twenty pages of the book. basically: being Chosen™ in regular fantasy novels is a good thing because suddenly you’re special and all the crap you suffered acquires a new meaning and in the end it made your life better.

jon snow is a complete overhaul of about everything in this sense because

instead of having a family who hates him he has a family who actually mostly loves him, and with ned it’s arguably so much that he risks royal treason by keeping him hidden from his *best friend* - sure, there’s cat and peripherally sansa, but his issues stem from the fact that he feels lesser because he’s a bastard (as far as he knows) and it’s a *class* issue, not a *my family hates me* issue not counting catelyn obv but that's what gives him freudian issues more on that in the emended part later

no one actually knows that he’s Chosen™ - like mel could get there and probably will and someone will put two and two together when his parentage comes out in the open, but he doesn’t have a gandalf or mentor who shows him The Way Towards His Quest

so instead of going from ‘my life sucks but I’m going on a quest which is gonna be a+’ he actively chooses to leave a fairly decent situation (a household he knows, siblings who love him - ned actually hoped he’d become robb’s counselor or right hand man or something from what we can gather) because he feels like he has to prove he’s better than his name and goes to the Crappiest Place In Westeros. like idk if people grasp it, but the wall is basically a prison and at the ripe age of fourteen he decides that it’s totally a good and honorable choice (his only choice actually) to go defend the realm in the freezing cold along with a bunch of criminals/derelicts/rejects of society

at which point he makes friends among said rejects and let’s remember that it’s the point where he actually has to do his first an only privilege when donal noye made him go like hey you were brought up with nobles these ppl are here because they stole bread, and that helps making him more into the person he is rn but like your tyopical fantasy hero who has had a shitty life doesn’t usually have to acknowledge that other people might have had it worse

then he goes on the Quest where he finds his first One True Love, and that’s where it turns even worse because usually the quest is where things start to go right for the Hero™, instead for jon they start to go wronger, because first he has to go undercover which pretty much tests most of his belief/code system, he falls in love with a girl he has to betray, half of his friends and his lord commander die along the way, while he’s off doing his thing winterfell gets taken/burned and robb dies when jon openly stated that he also was going to the wall to defend his family and keep them safe (yeaaah worked out real well), when he goes back to the wall he has to fight the people he lived with for months, the woman he loves dies in his arms and he can’t do anything about it and he’s aware it couldn’t have gone any other way, people put defending the wall on him and then put his loyalty in question, when stannis shows up with a legitimization (which is everything he ever wanted) he refuses because he doesn’t want to accidentally steal his siblings’s inheritance (which was what cat was so worried about hahaha) and actively chooses the crappy defending the realm life all over again. also in all this time his being Chosen™ hasn’t manifested or helped him in any way whatsoever - actually all his honor-moral code related baggage is what  moral dilemmas come from that. like, your usual chosen hero™ would always take the right decision and it all turns out good eventually, jon takes the morally right decision and it all turns SOUR eventually

at this point he finally gets elected LC, thanks to his friends also pitching in, which is about the one fantasy hero™ thing that’s happened for now. should be good, yes?

lol no, because he ends up with THAT hellish responsibility at sixteen, since he thinks that he has absolutely to be even better than that now and he has very specific notions about how you should lead and he knows he has to take unpopular decisions/decisions that he doesn’t necessarily like, he ends up either having to send his friends away forreal (sam) or detaching from them (pyp/grenn/the likes) and when as far as he knows he learns that his sister is married to ramsay he can’t do anything about it

never mind that it’s the same situation as when he had to pick the watch or robb in book one - he went there to defend his family and now being there actually prevents him from helping them in person. ops. meanwhile he’s trying to implement a new vision of things which is modern and smart and actually makes sense because why fighting the wildlings when you have ZOMBIES coming. your usual Chosen One™ would get people to approve just because he’s the Chosen One

instead jon gets stabbed to death - okay, that was also because he wanted to go get arya but it was the last straw, people were pissed over the wildlings plan first and foremost

so basically he’s gone through all the Chosen One™ steps but in reverse - he loses his family which did love him instead of finding another one that makes the first pale in comparison, he does find a new one who loves him but has to alienate most of its members for responsibility reasons as a consequence of what should have been the crowning achievement of his life choices (which eventually is NOT one), he falls in love and they don’t drag the UST forever but they never get a chance to be together without small print in between, he chooses the admittedly most masochistic life he could for his family as well and half of them die and he can’t do a thing for the other half, every other mentor-like figure he runs into after ned dies, instead of finding validation he ends up having to isolate himself and on top of everything HE STILL DOESN’T FUCKING KNOW HE’S THE CHOSEN ONE™

so instead of his life going better the more he learns stuff and matures as a person, he gets murdered. by the people he trusts and who were supposed to be his new family. haha?

never mind that when he finds out he’s the Chosen One™ it won’t bring him closure because all he ever wanted was being full stark like his father/siblings and then bam he’s going to find out his father’s actually targaryen and what does that even mean to him?

on top of that being AA will just be a pain because I don’t believe for a second he’s not going to get leftover ptsd and who the hell is gonna help him deal with it? or how is he ever getting over his *brothers* murdering him? and people are going to ask stuff of him all over again and he’s gonna have to go slay a mythical monster and if I know grrm it’s not gonna be fun, pretty or cathartic FOR HIM

on top of that, Chosen Hero™ fulfills the prophecy and gets a realm to rule and everyone lives happily ever after. money is that if jon does get that realm (and I think he is because he has the best claim if he's legitimate and most likely it'll turn out he was on the targ side but ROBB also legitimized him so he has double the legitimization), he’s going to hate every second of it and he’ll take it because a) duty, b) literally no one else is available, and like this guy didn’t want to rule a realm or be a king or anything he just wanted to be a stark, and instead he’s going to have to after all that shit thanks to Magical And Noble Heritage he hadn’t even known he had and probably didn’t even want up to that point because since when jon wanted to be a targ? yeah since never

obviously I hope he manages to be somewhat happy regardless because the alternative is too miserable, but basically being a Chosen Hero™ is what makes jon’s life worse rather than better and the fact that hew went through all the regular self-discovery journey for the fantasy hero list doesn’t mean he’s not flipping that over in his sl. the fact that he stayed a decent person more or less throughout it and that he hasn’t turned into a bitter asshole also doesn’t change the main point XD

tldr: jon snow is not a typical fantasy hero because he deconstructs that trope into tiny little bits same as robb deconstructed the arthurian flawless king hero trope

now ^^^^^ THAT was what I originally wrote for that meta but adding on to what I said in those tags

okay so... there is a certain tendency to also make the chosen one™ special in the sense that he's kind of goals - good looking, rich or set to inherit, gallant, takes the initiative, he's like.. social or anyway immediately makes friends etc and all that jazz which jon... doesn't really fit

like jon is an introvert who immediately makes friends just with outcasts and his siblings also bc he feels like one but he's hardly a social butterfly and charms everyone wherever he walks by

I mean ffs says all that the only person he charmed in that sense is stannis who is the literal only person in charge in the books who is more introvert than him and has worse communication issues and appreciates ppl going straight to the point

on top of that in the book he looks like ned.... and arya looks like ned and ned isn't described as being particularly handsome that was brandon so he's not even like... I mean kit h. is v. pretty and I think he was a good choice for the role and I'll die on the hill that he was born to play that character and he did it well but book!jon doesn't have that kinda pretty face so the concept that he's the HOT alternative to anyone to me is kind of iffy bc he's not

he's shit at social interactions and at PR which is why robb and him would have been a key winning ticket like he has a better idea of the larger picture but robb would have actually made sure ppl didn't turn against them bc he actually was good at that but like he doesn't go around rallying armies in his name does he

the one time he's been with a girl it was ygritte and like he courted her without realizing it and then she had to pursue him and he barely knew wtf to do on top of the fact that they slept with ghost in the middle of them like a sword which..... is.... I mean sleeping with the sword in the middle was a thing to make sure the maiden stayed a maiden and he's the one who is like i CAN'T HAVE SEX WITH HER EVEN IF I WANT TO BECAUSE I'M TECHNICALLY SPYING ON THEM like... he's not... gallant-knight coded

never mind that the moment they do the do she basically does everything until he decides to try the oral which I mean... isn't exactly alphadominatingmale out of jon which is not a given with the trope he's supposed to represent like he's not smooth he's not suave he's like WHAT THE FUCK when ygritte tells him he has a pretty face bc most likely no one else told him that and he like... doesn't pursue people like that in general which is also not exactly 100% what that trope usually goes for

we can add that he has a lot of passive-aggressive little shit sarcasm in him that they didn't let him go for in the show but like... usually chosen heroes™ don't think what he thinks about selyse in general

we can also add that he's not automatically above being better than his position like... he doesn't take winterfell bc ygritte is dead but he did think he'd have taken the deal sansa or not if stannis had said he could marry her and not val and if she wasn't dead, he basically went off the rails at the dude he was fighting with thinking about robb telling him that he couldn't be lord of wf because he was a bastard and he's absolutely not in the frame of mind of 'well I was born a bastard who cares it doesn't define me'

he's obsessed to the point of unhealthy with actually being defined by it which is why he was better off with the wildlings aka the only idiots in the realm who don't gaf about that

and that's like... I mean usually if chosen ones™ have parental issues it's like 'you were an orphan and raised by asses who weren't your parents but your parents loved you and you'll find out at some point and you'll be happier for it and make your own family', jon is like... he has the mommy freudian issues of the century bc of how cat treated him, on the other side he's obsessed with living up to ned's/his father's name and he hates that it makes him not-belonging or that he feels like he doesn't even if he does with his siblings, and at the same time when the truth about it comes out he's going to get the cold shower of the century bc like - he's spent all that time thinking BUT DID MY MOTHER WANT ME WHO WAS MY MOTHER and he's going to find out of who it was and how he was born and honestly considering that lyanna most likely did regret running with rhaegar the moment he finds that out and that she died birthing him how is he going to feel? - also he spends his life wanting to live up to his 'father's' name aka ned aka someone known to be honorable to a fault and then it turns out his bio father is... the dude who started that entire rebellion not doing a very honorable thing? - also if jon*erys is a thing idt that he'd take 'I fell in love with my aunt' so nonchalantly as he did in the show tldr: he's never gonna get over his parental issues in a short time and when that particular brick hits him in the face it won't be pretty

like the entire point of jon is that he goes through all the chosenone™ cursus honorum as we'd call it in high school when studying latin but each step that means smth good for the usual chosenone™ to him is something bad, being one is not going to make his life better and throughout the entire thing he does not fit that stereotype when it comes to look, personality, basic traits and familial history and like hell he's going to have the happy ending tied up with the bow - like I think he gets a bittersweet one and eventually goes off with the wildlings bc he belongs there after being jon snow first of his name (bc like hell he's not reclaiming his bastard background at the end of this entire mess I'm eating my hat if he doesn't) after splitting the seven realms and fixing things but that's hardly the neat happy ending the chosenone™ usually gets so that's my two cents

... christ this was long *raises hands*

[gossip-girl-of-middleearth]

Hello! I hope this doesn’t make you uncomfy but I was wondering if I could get a bit of advice? From your recent posts, you said you left your home from toxicity and just bad things in general.

I’m in a similar situation, but my dad will be taking me away from my mom. And I just know it’ll be a shit show. And I’m absolutely terrified when we tell her and what the backlash will be afterwards towards my brothers and me and dad in general

How did you do it? How did you take the leap? Do you possibly have any advice on how to deal ?

Hello, friend!! ☀️

Thank you so much for reaching out, it means a lot that you value my advice <3

Hmm, okay from what I can tell of your situation, that is indeed a tricky one, but nothing can’t be overcome!

It’s important to remember, though, I was 19 when I left (now 20), so the way I handled things is going to be a lot different than how a minor can handle things (legally at least, feel free to replicate my insane stunts lmao)

Advice below the cut! (family violence trigger warning, I suppose?)

My entire family was and is extremely volatile, and I don’t speak to any of them anymore except for my older brother, but I’ll be cutting him off in 3 weeks too when I move.

Fortunately, my dad and brother were both kicked out of the house years ago due to violence, which left me with my mother, who’s quite insidious herself (just watch any Conjuring movie and that’ll give a good idea of what it was like living in that house lol)

I get the same feeling watching this scene as when I was around her in that house. Granted she didn’t try to change my gender, but the hatred for my father getting taken out on me is pretty accurate lol, paired with the immediate “motherly love” afterwards (she never hit me though, pleased to say — she wasn’t physically violent, just emotionally, financially, mentally and verbally. She did try to run my dad over once though, so, there’s that too)

Yikes…yeahh the same eerie feeling for sure, still makes all my hairs stand upright in memory.

(For further context this clip reminds me of my father and this one of my brother)

In the clip about my father, he definitely reminds me of Frank Gallagher, except he despises my mother instead of revering her. He’s a workaholic instead of a drug addict, too. But the mannerisms are the same. I always handled him in the way Fiona does.

Regarding my brother, I think everything about our family hit him the hardest, despite being the oldest. He developed a very violent streak, and has very poor impulse control. I love him dearly but he’s a snake in the grass, and has thrown me under the bus multiple times to get ahead in life. I mostly just pity him, since I know what our life was like growing up. But still, I can’t defend him forever, especially not at the cost of myself. Literally yesterday I woke up to a text from him asking me to come pick him up because he got arrested for starting a fight at a bar and smashing their windows.

When things started getting pretty bad with my mother earlier this year, I started to realise in my heart that there was no way I could go forth in life with her in it. I focused on the future relationships I would have one day when far away from this town — romantic partner, children, friends etc

I sort of realised one day I’d care about them a lot more than I care about my mother, because those future people would care about me. That in turn got me realising that I do deserve love, despite how my mother made me feel, and that I don’t want her to deprive another second of that in my life.

Something very unique that triggered this too was going to go visit an old family psychic, who’s basically just the Gandalf to my Frodo (ily, Chris <3). He very accurately predicted my birth years ago after my mother was told she was infertile — he got the date, year and time right three years in advance, and even knew ahead of time what my personality would be like, which he was spot-on about.

Well, I went and visited him a few months ago because I was lost with my direction, and he ended up pausing and had a sudden feeling, which led to him telling me that he’d just found out I would be having twin boys one day.

Normally I don’t buy into that stuff, but this Gandalf dude…well I knew he was right.

Knowing I’d have sons of my own one day took me from a scared daughter mindset and into a maternal mother bear in an instant, and I knew I didn’t want any children of mine around my mother or the rest of my family, for their safety alone, which made me realise, “Well, if I wouldn’t allow my own children near them, why do I allow myself?”

I started grey-rocking her in the lead-up to me leaving, which of course frustrated her (she’s a malignant narcissist), but it was a necessary step to start emotionally detaching myself from her.

It all bottled over one night after a pretty distressing argument (I had locked myself in my room to avoid it, but she was still at my door carrying on).

My cat, who’s been my best friend for years, was sitting on the floor next to me, and sort of looked up and I swear he spoke with his eyes, saying, “You know we can’t keep doing this, right? You know this abuse has an expiry date?”

I agreed with my cat and knew right then and there that I’d be leaving that night after my mother fell asleep.

Well, when she was finally done (with threats that there’d be more in stock in the morning, mind you) I went to bed early and set my alarm to 3am (was a little inside joke with myself, since that’s biblically the “witching devil hour”)

I started quietly packing my quilt and cat up (I’d already been secretly packing the boot of my car up with all sentimental and important items weeks in advance, except she caught on and took all my baby albums and more to her boyfriend’s house, so I don’t have any baby photos or information on me when I was a baby anymore, like first words, size and just general things I’d have liked to compare to my own kids one day, rip)

Once that was all in my car, I quietly said goodbye to the old family dog and cat (they weren’t mine to take, not that I could’ve anyways, since it was troubling enough taking Buddy, who’s actually my pet and not the family one). That was pretty heartbreaking, as I knew that’d be the last time I’d see them (I grew up with them and was the only one who took care of them — mother neglects kids and pets alike lmao).

Once that was over, I looked around my house with my hand on the front door and was very melancholy, but knew Buddy was right: it had all reached its expiry date.

I left very quietly and drove to McDonalds for a coffee, as I had a long drive ahead (I had organised to be a nanny in this rich family’s house far away in the city — two hours drive). Luckily they were away on their country farm 4 hours away, so I had time to sneak Buddy in.

The nanny thing recently backfired horribly because they discovered Buddy, which led to more AM escapes with my car, but I’m staying with my older brother and his gf for 3 more weeks only. Something I’ve been working towards for months now is moving to a wilderness island to live in my country’s equivalent of Bag End — a beautiful country cottage, amazing job and fantastic study opportunities.

Best feature yet: it’s 60 hours away from my hometown by car, and then you’d have to take a boat for 10 more hours!! They shall never find me hahaha

One of my friends has also told me recently that my mother has started spreading horrible, defamatory rumours about me around town, but I don’t care anymore because I’m almost out.

So, although I can’t offer any practical advice (idk if you’re a minor or not, but regardless it’s great your dad is helping you!) this is the best advice I can offer:

Find a dream and hold onto it, one that doesn’t involve your immediate family. For me it’s moving to that island and enjoying all the fresh air. It’ll push you forwards and remind you of what you’re fighting for when at your lowest.

Remind yourself there will be other people in your life, whether a spouse, friends, children or even a dog! (I’m getting a golden retriever next year 🐾) And then remember that you deserve all of them and the unconditional love they offer you.

Remember that if you don’t want your mother/family screwing those people over by proxy of her/their relationship to you, then there’s no way in hell you alone should put up with it either, as I guarantee those future people only want good things for you ☀️

There is a good life after abuse, I’ve seen it, and I know you can achieve it, too!

Be prepared for tons of backlash and bullshit — it’s inescapable when dealing with people like this, but I recommend educating yourself on narcissistic parents and tactics to deal with them.

Finding a good therapist who deals in PTSD regarding childhood abuse is important, too. I found an amazing one in the town I’m moving to, who had nearly the same upbringing as me!

So while I’m still struggling with a lot of fear (scared my mother will find where I’m working and living one day) and guilt (I feel horrible about leaving the family dog and cat behind, especially when they need veterinary help, only to then go and get myself another puppy) I understand I’ve done the best I can in a very abnormal situation, and that I can only do better from here.

Also, this song has been a saving grace when going all angsty over wanting to leave your current situation:

It’s from my favourite Broadway Musical, “Newsies”, and lemme tell you — discovering this as a 17-year-old when I was just starting to realise the severity of my situation was pure divinity.

Jeremy Jordan, my beloved Broadway Bard <3

When I finally get my cottage, I’m getting a wooden plaque with the name “Santa Fe” engraved on it, and am hanging it on my front door.

I wish you much luck and love, my little anonymous friend! And please know my inbox is open any time you need anything — vent, advice, a laugh or something else, ANYTHING, it feels good to know my past can maybe help someone else’s present ☀️

Please update me, too! I’m following your story along ardently now! (Also, be sure to take your sentimental items and store them somewhere safe away from your mother — ie baby albums, birth certificates, other paraphernalia/memorabilia etc).

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must hit the road. DESTINY AWAITS!

[lokicat5]

Adventures in Jedi-Sitting

Okay guys, look, I’m sorry about this.

This is my first original post, so I hope you like it! This was supposed to be a response to a star wars post about a slice-of-life show (that I know I’ve reblogged before), but Tumblr just wouldn’t reblog it. And besides, it was long enough anyway, so, I made it into my own post! This is like the first thing I’ve properly, actually, physically written, so I’m sorry (and I’d really appreciate some feedback on it)! I just got into a flow, and I really think an “Adventures in Babysitting” episode would be awesome, because, who doesn’t need to see Cody and Rex dying inside over watching a bunch of little Jedi kids? It’s not very refined, and I haven’t worked out EVERY detail yet, so if you have any ideas for one of the things I’ve left vague or not really explained, feel free to comment or reblog (or message me, I don’t know how Tumblr works lol). Anyway, I hope you like it, this took me like 3-4 hours to write :) 

 Warning: It’s kinda long-ish. That’s it. Enjoy! :D

Okay, so it starts like this...

Anakin or Obi-wan have been assigned to look after younglings for a day, and are taking them on a “field trip” of some kind, possibly an educational one. I’m kinda thinking they’ll stay near/on Coruscant maybe? Idk. And like for some reason they bring Cody and Rex, maybe just as a safeguard or something, or as an extra pair of adults so that the two MatureTM Jedi aren’t outnumbered vastly by smol Jedi.

But then something comes up, and Anakin and Obi-wan are needed somewhere because of an emergency. They don’t want to leave the kids, but they don’t have enough time to bring the kids back to the temple. Then Cody proposes, “We could watch them, sirs.” and Obi-wan looks skeptical, as does Anakin, but Rex agrees with Cody and says, “oh go on sirs, we’ll be fine, they’re just a bunch of kids.” And Obi-wan and Anakin share a dubious look because “just a bunch of kids” with Force powers could be more of an issue than even the two most capable clones people they know can handle. And these kids are pretty young, too, but still really powerful, and there’s no back up, just the two of them. But they reassure the Jedi that they’ll be fine and it’ll be a good experience. At one point Rex is like, “Really, we’ve got this. I mean, we’ve had enough experience looking after the two of you,” and they finally get the two to give in (it was an emergency after all, so time is of the essence).

And once the Jedi are gone, the chaos fun begins.

It starts of smoothly enough, but then they can’t find one of the kids when they go to give them healthy snacks (provided by the Temple), and it all goes downhill from there. Chaos ensues, and one of the kids lifts Rex and Cody into the air, who watch helplessly as the kids start grabbing all the sugary snacks they can find and escape. Cody’s like “We... should probably call the Generals” but Rex is like “No! We can do this, besides, they’re busy.” They eventually get dropped once the kids are far enough away, and now they’re frantically looking for a little group of extremely small, Force-sensitive children, and Cody’s just like “can we call them NOW!?” and Rex is like “No! And see, there they are!” and they have to get the kids out of some tight spot, but while defending the kids they run off again and steal a speeder, and they’re all working together to drive it. They nearly get away, but Rex and Cody realize they’re gone - “Hey, where’d they go NOW?” - and manage to catch them, almost getting run over then dropped off the speeder in the process.

*cut to a battle scene with Obi-wan and Anakin fighting some droids side by side* 

O: Do you think Rex and Cody are doing all right with the kids?

A: I’m sure they’re fine.

*cut back to Rex and Cody, screaming and holding onto the back of the speeder for dear life, trying not to fall off, while the kids are driving too fast the wrong way, head on into rush-hour traffic*

Cody’s like “WE SHOULD HAVE CALLED THE GENERALS!!!” and Rex is like “THIS WAS YOUR IDEA CODY! AND BESIDES, WE’RE FINE! THE GENERALS TRUSTED US SO WE HAVE TO DO THIS OURSELVES!” and Cody’s all like “THIS IS SOOO NOT FINE” but they manage to get back into the speeder. Unfortunately, Anakin picks this perfect moment to check in on Rex to see how they’re doing. Rex and Cody are panicking because “We can’t answer that NOW!” but they also can’t not answer it either, so Rex just kinda motions for Cody to take the steering away from the kids and he answers the comm.

And Anakin’s like “Hey Rex, how’s it going with the kids?” And Rex is watching Cody trying to wrestle with the steering as one of the more stubborn kids uses the Force to keep driving, and he’s like “Everything’s going great, sir.” Anakin’s like “They aren’t giving you too much trouble are they? Those ones were supposed to be a particularly rowdy bunch.” Rex nearly drops the comm while lunging to grab a kid who, now bored, is trying to climb out the sides of the speeder, and he’s like “No sir, no trouble. They’re practically perfect little angels.” Personally, Rex decides this is more stressful than some battles he’s been in, though Cody swerving the vehicle while trying to get back to the right side of traffic feels familiar enough. Anakin’s voice comes back over the comm. “Well, Obi-wan and I are just about finished here, so we’ll be on our way back as soon as we notify the locals that their Separatist problem has been dealt with.” Rex has a fresh wave of panic wash over him, but he manages a “Very good sir, can’t wait to see you.” That’s partly true, as he’s very ready to return custody of the kids to Anakin. But just as he’s responding, Cody swerves to avoid another vehicle, which honks loudly, and the kids all laugh and cheer. Anakin sounds suspicious when he asks “Rex... what was that?” And Rex just dies. “U-uh, nothing sir. Just playing a game with them sir. Uh, got another call coming in sir, sorry sir, glad the mission went, well, can’t wait to see you!” Anakin’s like “Rex-” but Rex keys off the comm and turns to Cody, who’s gotten them back in the right lane at last. “Cody, the Generals are coming back and we have NO IDEA WHAT WE”RE DOING!” Cody’s like “I TOLD you we should’ve called someone!” And Rex gets an idea. He swoops to grab another kid, then keys back on the comm and makes the call.

When they get the speeder back to wherever their starting place had been, Ahsoka’s already there, waiting by her speeder-bike. She may not be part of the Order anymore, but Rex still calls her for advice every once in a while, and even just to say hi. They park the speeder and she walks over, shaking her head. Cody’s like, “Thank you for coming to help, General,” and she can see he really means it. The kids are still in the speeder, mostly piled on Rex, who looks at her and mouths “HELP”. She grins and says, “Rex sounded desperate, and by the looks of it, you definitely needed some help. How did you two even get in this mess?” She picks up two of the kids, and Cody picks up two more, unburying Rex enough to get out to help the last three. Rex sighs and says “It’s a long story...”

So they explain to Ahsoka what they did while she shakes her head at some parts, and she helps them set the kids back in the main area of the compound where they started. “You really let them eat (insert alternative to candy here)? That’s your first mistake.” and Rex (indignantly) says “We didn’t LET them do anything! They picked us up and floated us to the ceiling and then took the stuff themselves!” and Ahsoka’s laughing, but so are Rex and Cody and they’re watching the kids playing together and they realize they seriously like these kids.

By the time they’ve finished their tale (”...then we were back here, and, well, you know the rest.”), the kids are all tired out, and Ahsoka helps tuck them into their little rest nooks in the compound’s wall. Rex is just like, “how do you do this?” and she’s like “First: I’ve dealt with younglings before, and second: they’re just kids. There IS more to life than the war. When it’s over, life’ll go back to normal.” She grins at him, and says “It’ll be fine Rex. Besides, it’ll get easier as they get older. They lose most of this chaotic energy eventually.” Rex grins back and says, “What, like you?” and they’re laughing again, but quietly because the kids are still sleeping. Rex thinks of Cut’s family, and finds himself wondering about after the war, and if he could babysit Cut’s kids... Ahsoka walks to the door and stops, looking back as Cody and Rex follow her. “I should probably get out of here before Anakin and Obi-wan get back, and besides, the owner of this speeder will probably be wanting it back. We don’t want you two getting arrested, after all.” They both thank her as she takes the speeder back to its owner, her bike attached to the side, and they both wave as she disappears from sight.

About a minute later, they hear the sounds of a small ship landing outside, and are greeted momentarily by Obi-wan and Anakin. Obi-wan looks skeptical as he enters, glancing around the main room suspiciously. “The two of you survived!” Anakin says, grinning. “We did sir,” Rex says tiredly. It’s been a very long day. “The children weren’t too much trouble, I hope?” Obi-wan asks. “Oh no sir, they were fine,” Cody replies. “They were downright peaceful, for kids. Or Jedi for that matter. Easier than taking out a row of clankers.” Obi-wan and Anakin trade a dubious look, but they thankfully don’t mention the sounds they heard over Rex’s comm. “Well, I’m glad to hear that Cody. But, um...” he trails off, and the two clones feel their hopes sinking. Here it comes, they both think. “It’s very quiet in here, and I daresay a little too quiet. Where are the children?” Obi-wan asks. He sounds a little worried, and Anakin’s grin slips a little as he realizes the same thing. Rex and Cody both relax though. Relieved, Cody replies .“They’re sleeping sir.” Obi-wan’s eyebrows go up. “Sleeping?” Cody points down the hall behind them to the room with the sleeping nooks, and the two Jedi go and poke their heads in to find 7 little Jedi, tucked in and fast asleep. Obi-wan’s smiling as he walks back to them, and he says “I don’t know how you did it, but I’m very impressed, you two.” Both Rex and Cody practically glow with that, and they both say “Thank you sir” in unison, then smile at each other. “Wow,” Anakin remarks, “you both look really worn out though.” Cody can only nod, while Rex manages a “Yes sir.” Obi-wan and Anakin look at each other, then come to a silent agreement. “Sleepover!” Anakin yells, pumping his fist. They all shush him, and he looks apologetic as he whisper-shouts “Sleepover!” Both clones fall asleep where they’re sitting within two minutes, a small “Thank you sirs” coming from both of them. They look like they’re guarding the children, and Obi-wan and Anakin think it’s a very heartwarming sight. The two Jedi bring in extra blankets and pillows from the ship, and they make their friends comfortable before falling asleep themselves, the kids still snoring in the other room.

As they disembark from the ship the next morning, tiny Jedi troublemakers swarming around their legs, Cody and Rex feel a mix of relief and regret. Relief, because they won’t have to chase them all over Coruscant anymore, having panic attacks of every kind while trying to cause as little damage as possible and protect their tiny fragile lives. Regret, because they’ll miss the little troublemakers (no matter how hard they try to convince themselves they won’t). While their Generals are speaking to the Jedi usually in charge of the children, Rex thinks about how the last 24 hours compares to following Anakin with the rest of the 501st. He was struck by how similar their adventure was to an average day with the older Jedi, following them into dangerous situations, protecting them and doing as little damage as possible, as well as cleaning up the mess afterwards. Even calling in reinforcements was a familiar move, and he found himself smiling at the thought of these tiny Jedi leading a group of clones into battle. He also found himself fervently hoping that the war was over before they had to face that, but he swore that he’d follow them into battle himself if it meant he could protect them. They all swarmed him and Cody for hugs, and they once again found themselves buried in a pile of kids, before they ran off back to the adults, calling out “Bye! Bye!” as they ran. Obi-wan and Anakin walked back towards them and boarded the ship, having finished their conversation, and Rex and Cody followed them. Rex paused at the top of the ramp though, and turned to look back. The kids were still calling out their goodbyes as they disappeared into the temple, and they waved to him. He waved back to them, and heard Anakin call “Rex!” 

And as the ramp closed behind him, he knew that they would turn out to be amazing Jedi indeed.

[nite-shay]

His Hero Part 4 (Kirishima Eijirou x Reader)

A/N: I don’t know if I’m completely happy about this chapter. I’m trying to get better with witting panic/anxiety/non-humor, so hopefully, next time, it’ll be a little better. Also, sorry for the long time off and just sporadic posting. Works been hell, but now that we’ll hopefully *grain of salt* were getting more people hired, I’ll have more motivation and time to write 

Warnings: Panic/anxiety , references to sex and/or sexual acts (nothing descriptive but suggestive) so I guess 18+? IDK how this works :/ If yer too young, offended by sex , sexual acts, sexual reference or don’t know where babies come from, please don’t read.

Word count: 3K 

Other then that, please enjoy! :D  

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4

*****

Kirishima didn’t protest when Fat sent him home for the day. 

‘Go home. Clear your head. Call me if you need anything.’ 

Honestly, he barely heard his mentor’s words. He just sat there staring at the screen. Watching, pausing, rewinding, and watching again. Over and over again. It wasn’t until Fat picked him up and carried him to the door, did he finally get the memo.

Yeah... he didn’t need to be here right now...

The trip home was nothing but a blur, and honestly, he remembered nothing about it. His body was on autopilot as his mind tried to wrap the possibility that he might have a kid. 

A kid… A son… Your son… His son? But… How? Err… Wait! 

Ok, he knows the ‘how’ of how kids are made. 

Better phrasing, how could this have happened!? He was always careful with anyone he was with! Err, not that was a really long list or anything. Typically, he was only intimate with someone he’s known for a while, and when he was, he’d use a condom, or they were on the pill. 

Oh fuck. How could he have let this happen!?!?

Calm down. Calm down. 

Maybe he was just overthinking everything? It could just be a coincidence. Sure, he and the kid have some similarity, but hey, there’s like, billions of people on the planet! So some are bound to look alike! That doesn’t necessarily mean they’re related, right? Total chance! That’s it! It’s that stuff we learned in school. Static? No, that’s not right; that was in science. The other thing was in math...Statistics! Yeah, that’s it!

So what if the kid has red eyes? His best bud Katsuki does too! 

The sharp teeth? Look no further than his gym bro Tetsu! Hell, depending on the quirk, it can be a super common trait!

The quirk being exactly like his... well, ok, that was… odd. And yeah, he hasn’t run into any with his quirk specifically, but, big but, it doesn’t mean there isn’t someone out there with his quirk! 

Or maybe it’s not his quirk! Maybe its a similar one! Really, really, reeeealllly similar.

Total coincidence! Anyone can have those traits!

He just… happens to have all of them… just like the kid… whose mother he just happened to have slept with… around six years ago… 

Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!

The room suddenly felt like it was closing in on him. The air got thinner, making it harder for him to breathe. He jumped off the couch and started pacing. He’s had issues with anxiety for years, and one thing he did learn, when he got like this, he needed to move.

Breath and walk. Breath and walk. Breath and….wait! The kid can’t be more than five! He slept with you six years ago! Ha! The time doesn’t match up! So he can’t be his kid!

His legs felt like jello as the waves of panic finally came to a halt, and took a deep, much-needed deep breath.

He wasn’t a father.

This was a good thing. A great thing!

He doesn’t have a kid. The time frame didn’t add up. He was in the clear.

He should feel happy. Relief. Ecstatic!

So why did he feel like he just got punched in the gut? 

He sighed as he made his way to his fridge in search of something to calm his nerves. Beer isn’t his typical drink of choice, but he was glad he kept a few on hand in moments like this. Since he was single and didn’t have a roommate, his place was the place of choice for ‘bro’s night.’ 

Though sometimes, there was nothing like a cold one to just chill after a long hard day.

He grabbed one of the glass bottles by the neck, activated his quirk, and flicked the lid off with his thumb. Cool little party trick he learned a few years back. 

As he tilted the drink back, he took a long hard swallow and let his mind wander. The beer of choice today was one Katsuki preferred. It was good, smooth going down, and less alcohol content. Which was fine. Ochaco, even after giving birth, still couldn’t stand the smell of alcohol. Pregnancy wasn’t a subject Kirishima knew a lot about, but he knew enough to respect it. 

He’d seen her hauling ass many adays to the toilet of the slightest whiff of something she didn’t like.

Then the cravings came along, which prompted a few late-night trips to the store by Katsuki or himself if his bro was at work. 

He chuckled as he thought about the few times Katsuki had said something to piss her off and sent him over to the redhead’s place for the night. Only to call him back a little while later in tears because of mood swings. 

Towards the end was rough, though. She’d been put on bed rest and was in a lot of pain. Katsuki took fewer shifts during that time to stay home and help ease her in any way he could. 

Damn, she went through all that for, what almost a year? Maybe not quite a year, but it had to be close. 

Was it nine or maybe ten months?

His brain came to a screeching halt, mid-swallow as he started calculating.

Beer spewed out of his mouth and nose as he tried to breathe and swallow at the same time. 

The nine months adds almost a year! *Cough* Meaning the kid’s age would make sense! *Cough Cough*

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! It can’t be true, can it? He… He’d used protection… hadn’t he?

His mind raced as he thought back to that night six years ago.

It was Izuku’s birthday and his girlfriend, future wife Melissa, rented out a small private Terence at a hotel to celebrate. It was small, maybe fifteen people max: just some friends, family, and a few colleges of the green-haired hero.

He was having a few drinks while chatting with Denki and Hanta when he first saw you. That was when he first saw you… You were chatting with your Melissa and Izuku, and damn… he couldn’t stop staring at you. You were so beautiful, and the way you tried to hide your angelic smile every time you laughed made his heart skip a beat. 

Eventually, his two friends figured out just what or who had caught his attention. Which brought on a relentless amount of teasing. It took about twenty minutes, a few beers, and an angry blonde for him to finally make his way over to you.

Katsuki, at some point, approached his childhood friend, then proceeded to yell at him for some reason or another. Even on his birthday, the guy couldn’t catch a break. Now that he thought about it, it was over something All Might related. Something about a suit and which version was from what era? You were looking rather uncomfortable (Melissa was used to this) at the aggressive (mainly Katsuki) debate. That’s where he came in. With the help of Ochaco and Melissa, he finally got the two distracted enough to send them to opposite corners of the party. 

And then, he was left all alone with you.

He was so nervous that he even stumbled through his own name. Luckily, he played off his nervousness by making light of his two friends. To his surprise, you took his jokes in stride and even had a few comebacks of your own. 

The two of you must have talked for over an hour! Just one conversation after another. He’d never met anyone like you before. You were just so loving, kind, and just… wow!

Then things start to get a little fuzzy.

He remembered talking, drinking, joking, more talking, and more drinking. 

A weird memory of a drunk Denki yelling, “I swear to drunk I’m not God!” before face planting into the punch bowl. 

Then while everyone’s attention was on Denki, the two of you snuck away and back to his room. 

A makeout session on the elevator leads to the two of you missing his floor and shocking an elderly housekeeping lady. That was embarrassing but didn’t seem to stop the two of you.

Then things get really, really blurry, but somehow the two of you made it back to his room without any other incidents. 

While the rest of his memories were bits and pieces, but he… did remember the most of the ‘activates,’ and it’d been consensual, and yeah… he’d definitely used protection! That much he remembered!

The next thing he knew, it was the next morning, where he woke up alone, with a hangover, and felt better than he had in awhile. 

Too bad that feeling didn’t get to last. His phone rang not long after he woke up. It’d been work, a villain was causing trouble, and they needed him asap. 

He showered, dressed, grabbed his stuff, and left. 

Then… he’d gotten hurt… bad…

Ended up in the hospital for nearly a week. 

After he got out, he, well, had an interesting voicemail and charge on his credit card.

He blushed hard as he remembered the hotel’s message regarding the ‘damages’ done to the room. In particular, the ones done to the sheets and headboard. They even sent him pictures!

Damn, he couldn’t believe he lost control of his quirk like that. He hadn’t done that since… well, since his ‘first time.’ That was so embarrassing. Thankfully, he didn’t think he’d hurt you in the process. Of all the pictures and list of damages, blood-stained sheets weren’t listed. Maybe that’s why he never worked up the courage to reach out to you. Even if he didn’t hurt you, he might have scared you...

Wait….

He lost control of his quirk.

Oh… OH SHIT! Realization dawned on him.

Even if he had put a condom on, his quirk might have damaged it!

Then that means… there is a chance he's the father of your son!

FFFFFUCCCCKK!!!!

But wait.

If he really was your son… why haven’t you contacted him?

His footsteps slowed until he came to a standstill.

You would have told him if he was, wouldn’t you?

Granted, the two of you never exchanged numbers, and we’ll it’s not like he did much to reach out to you either, but… You would have known he’s friends with Izuku, so you knew a way to contact him. 

Two-way street, buddy. He internally lashed himself.

Between racking his brain and scolding himself, he didn’t hear the knock on his door until the visitor started pounding. 

“Oi! Shifty hair! Answer the damn door!” A loud, brash voice that could only belong to one person yelled through the abused door.

Katsuki? Why was he here?

Kirishima hurried over to the door before the blonde got too impatient and blew it down… again. He took a deep breath and put on his brightest and cheerful grin before opening the door to greet his grumpy best friend. 

“Oh hey, Bakubro, what’s up?” 

“Don’t bro me! Why the hell am I getting called from your boss to check up on you?” He growled.

“Fat called you?” That was a surprise. 

“Yeah, he did. Had to switch my patrol around and everything.” He brushed past the redhead, letting himself in. Kirishima sighed as he shut the door behind them. 

“I’m really sorry about that. Not sure wh-”

“Don’t start that bullshit with me.” Those fierce red eyes locked on to him. “And drop that fake ass smile. Always hated when you did that shit.” He mutters.

Damn, Fat just had to go and call him of all people. 

If it’d been anyone else, anyone at all, he could play this off. A bright grin, crack a joke or two, maybe a few reassuring words, and he could send them on their way. 

But not him.  No, not Katsuki. Most people wouldn’t in a million years think the aggressive blonde could show anything other than anger. And yeah, the guy was rough around the edges, and he wasn’t the best with words. But nonetheless, here he was. 

And sometimes, that’s all that mattered.

Fuck. 

“So why am I here?” Katsuki wasn’t backing down, so Kirishima took a deep breath.

“What did Fat tell you?” While his smile didn’t waver, he felt his stomach belly flop to the floor. 

“Bastard would spill it, just said you’d need me right and to get over here. Now what the fuck is going on?” While he still sounded angry, there was an underline concern in his tone that most people tend to miss. 

Who would have known that would be the thing to make him crack? Well, obviously, Fatgum knew, hence why he sent the blonde over. The great explosive hero was one of the few people that could blow a hole right through his hardened armor. 

Both figuratively and literally.

With tears in his eyes, he dropped his bright grin and let the damn of emotion bust. He explained everything that had happened. The robbery, the hospital, you, your son, the night he first met you, the security footage, everything! Hell, he was sure he went into a little too much detail when he described you and that night.

The blonde just stood there shell shocked as he tried to absorb the word vomit hurled at him. 

“S-so, yeah… I might… have a…” he couldn’t finish. He just let the silence hang between them. 

“You… dumbass.” He sighed quietly, running his hand through his hair before looking him right in the eyes. While his best friend was known far and wide to have a temper, when shit got real, it was eerie how calm and focused he was. “Are you sure he’s your?”

“I-I don’t know. I mean-”

“Have you talked to the mother?”

“N-No!” 

“Have you talked to anyone about this?” He pressed. “Does anyone else think you’re the father?”

“No! Well, Fat might, but that’s cause he was with me when I put the piece together. But I haven’t told or asked anyone else about this. Honestly, other than the mother, I don’t even know who else to go-” The redhead piped up. Something flashed in his friend’s eyes, and for a moment, he looked like he was ready to commit murder. Fuck was he made? He hadn’t come to him about this yet!? Of course, he was! He was finding this out because his boss called him, not because he had called him! Some friend he is... “I was totally going to call you about this! I swear! You’re my best friend. This just happened so suddenly!”

“I know you would, Ei. Chill.” The blonde’s features soften for a second, soothing the redhead some. But he could tell Katsuki was trying to keep his temper in check. “I’m not mad at you but, I’ll ask again. Does anyone else know about this?”

“Honestly, I have no idea. I only found out about this today, and I haven’t had any contact with (Y/N) since the other day and well at Izuku’s birthday party.”

“Ok. Stay here for a bit. You need to calm down. We need more information first. If he isn’t your kid, you’re losing your shit for nothing. And if he is... well,” He paused, “Cross that bridge when you come to it.” He pushed the hero towards the couch and made him sit down. “I need to make a phone call.” 

Kirishima blinked as his best friend made his way towards his front door. “NOW SIT THERE. SHUT UP AND CALM DOWN!”

*SLAM*

This was a new level of anger for the blonde. He couldn’t stand seeing the redhead like this. He felt even worse, leaving him alone like this. The damn guy lived off socialization with others, so for him to be facing this alone. 

Yeah... it really pissed him off.

The blonde stomped his way back to his apartment, which was just a few doors down. He did need to make a phone call; he hadn’t been lying. But it was a call, that big, dense red rock didn’t need to hear. 

Fuck. He couldn’t believe this. Did shitty hair really have a kid? 

Katsuki made his way inside his home. The home he shared with not only his wife but his newborn daughter. 

Fuck. He has a kid… and he never even knew. 

As he made his way through the foyer and into the living room, something caught his eye. Something black, orange, green, and tiny laid on top of a basket of unfolded laundry. It was the custom design onesie Momo had gotten for their daughter as a baby shower gift. The custom design was made to look like his hero costume. While he scoffed at the thing initially, he made sure that she wore home from the hospital. 

Well, tried. About halfway through the hospital parking lot, she decided now was the best time to need a diaper and outfit change. 

Little brat. He smirked.

If you’d ask him a few years ago what he thought of kids, he would have brushed it off, not really caring about it. His hero career was his focus. He needed no had to be number one. 

But now that he has a little one of his own, he realized there was more to life than being number one. Was he still going to do it? You bet your ass, but now that he has his wife and his child that climb to the top well, he couldn’t dream of making it there without them. 

He couldn’t imagine a world without her. Let alone a world where he didn’t realize she existed.

He whipped out his phone and thumbed through his contacts.

Especially if someone knew about them. 

He took a deep breath and hit send.  

Someone close to not only the kid but himself. 

And still not tell him.

He knows. There’s no way in hell that precipitative little shit doesn’t know!

One ring. Two rings. Three rings.

“K-Kacchan. This is a surprise. You never call. Is everything-” Katsuki cut him off. 

“We need to talk. Now.” 

****

Links: Part 1,  Part 2 ,  Part 3, Part 4

Thanks for the read! If you want see the other stuff I’ve done, click the link bellow!

MasterList

Tags: @hot-pocket01 ,  @simpforeveryone , @remember-happy-things 

[zukkaoru]

shhh i’m not on my phone at work got a second wHAT

35:) ramble to me, babe

35. ramble about any fic-related thing you want

corey this is so vague i don't even know where to begin skjgdfhdj uhhhhh what do i want to ramble about,,

WAIT OKAY I GOT IT

okay so back in like. february i think i did another ask game like this and someone (jo?? maybe???) sent an ask about meta/foreshadowing/hidden references for this ultraviolet morning light and at the time, only the first two(?) chapters were out so i couldn't talk about the foreshadowing, bc it was all leading up to the end of chapter six. but i can talk about it now bc the whole fic is up!!

i'll put it under the cut bc i know it'll be long + spoilers for those who haven't yet read tuvml

fic writer ask game

okay so first. all of the foreshadowing for the drowning scene. maybe i did already have a list of these in my google docs in case anyone every asked, maybe not, i won't say

anyway. i added in water/drowning imagery with zuko specifically in this fic, because of the drowning scene, and especially bc in the atla world, water imagery would generally be used with characters from the water tribes rather than someone from the fire nation. so it wasn't just me liking water-related words and shoving them onto zuko for no reason; it was intentional

chapter one:

- He really can’t think of anything more beautiful than Zuko drenched in moonlight - This is what fire feels like when doused with water. - It burns like fire consuming Sokka’s entire body, like he’s been dunked underwater and the surface has frozen over and his lungs are about to give out, but he’s going to keep hitting the ice anyways like he’s strong enough to break it.

chapter two:

- It washes over his body all at once, like a wave pulling him under the surface of the ocean, until his limbs are numb and tingly and his head sways. He’s completely frozen in place, eyes staring straight ahead but not really seeing anything. - He would’ve rather stood across from Azula in the Agni Kai arena and let her shoot him full of lightning, rather been dropped in the middle of the ocean

chapter three:

- Zuko searches the tumultuous ocean that is his mind for the right words - Zuko was telling them about Azula never quite getting the knack for swimming despite their annual vacations to Ember Island when they were little, and Sokka was so happy.

chapter four:

So he lets the words sink, lets them drown in the knowledge that he no longer has the right to talk to Sokka in the same way he used to.

chapter five:

The moonlight pours over him, drowning him in a soft white glow.

chapter six:

But…my doctors have told me that spending the rest of your life letting yourself drown in guilt isn’t going to help anyone.

also, people picked up on vai being a double agent, but no one picked up on the fact that she was a waterbender, even though i did hint at that too:

- Her brown skin is almost as dark as Sokka’s and her face and arms are covered in freckles. - It reminds Sokka of himself a little; the bright blue eyes of a waterbender but no bending ability to speak of. - How can you get better than a play with dragons, a star-crossed love affair, sun and moon symbolism, and a villain who has a secret past that ties them to the protagonist?

beyond that, there are also a lot of parallels/call backs to previous chapters/foreshadowing to future scenes just in general. the funniest one (and also completely unintentional one) is probably sokka and katara calling each other their least favorite [sibling]

“You’re my least favorite sister,” // You are, and I say this from the bottom of my heart, my least favorite brother ever. chapter 1 // epilogue

but there are. several more. and i'm not sure how many of them people picked up on so i will add them all bc i love them <3

Zuko would get himself arrested, kidnapped, killed, whatever if it would keep Sokka safe. // “I would give my life for [Zuko] without a second thought.” … “But would he do the same for you?” chapter 4 // chapter 6

When Sokka’s hand began to retreat, Zuko had reached forward, grabbed it, and whispered, “Please stay.” // “Don’t leave me.” Sokka says it like a prayer … like he would repeat it until he couldn’t remember anything else if it meant Zuko would keep holding him. “Just… stay.” chapter 5 // chapter 7

So they sit - Sokka and Zuko - on the roof of some abandoned building in the outskirts of the city. // “But now I’m pretty sure we’re just destined to be Sokka and Zuko” chapter 5 // chapter 7

“I just don’t think he’s trustworthy enough for this. … when he proves that he isn’t as reliable as you think - when he proves that he’s only ever going to let you down - I’m going to say I told you so.” // “Zuko is kind, and he is trustworthy and reliable. He’d never purposefully let me down” chapter 3 // chapter 6

this ^ was one i was hoping people would pick up on bc it makes the drowning scene/sokka pleading for vai to not hurt zuko that much angstier, but i'm not sure anyone did so now i'm putting those lines right next to each other so you're all forced to confront the pain <3

Is he still in love with Zuko? Is being in love enough? // But what good is any of that? Love isn’t always enough. // “It doesn’t matter who or where feels like home, it doesn’t matter if we’re in love. When you’re next in line for the throne, love isn’t enough.” chapter 3 // chapter 4 // chapter 6

Zuko warms his other hand on instinct, and apparently it was a good call because Sokka squeezes it tighter and presses closer to Zuko. “I forgot my mittens at home,” // I love you doesn’t always take the shape of those three words. … Sometimes, it’s Have you eaten today? or Don’t forget your mittens again! chapter 1 // chapter 6

this ^ is also one i thought people might pick up on but idk if anyone did or not. but it made me🥺🥺 when i wrote it

[religion tw for the last part]

okay i could leave it there but corey gave me an excuse to ramble and i've made the post this long anyways so one more thing! i explained this to corey a while ago when we were having dinner together but i find it very funny so i'm sharing it with all of you i say like anyone has actually read this far

i accidentally made zuko a Christ Figure in tuvml

"but grace, surely that's not possible," you say. "surely there's no way zuko is a christ figure! there aren't any christian themes in tuvml. you didn't even have anyone try to convince vai to forgive zuko or have anyone convince zuko and sokka that they should forgive vai! how could you have a christ figure in your fic???"

let me set the scene. it's 2019, you're a senior in high school, and you decided to take ap literature for the possibility of college credit. your teacher has this book called how to read literature like a professor that he has his classes read chapters from, and one of those chapters talks about Christ Figures in literature. one of those chapters also talks about baptism symbolism, and mentions how oftentimes, characters who are christ figures will go through a baptism of some sort - being "born again" after a scene where they come out of the water

do you want to know what zuko does in this ultraviolet morning light?

he goes into the water. and then he comes back out.

and do you want to know what i had sokka say about zuko shortly before he took a dive into the baptistry water?

Zuko looks away from him, resigned, like he’s ready to die as atonement.

see. i grew up Christian, i went to church every sunday and i have spent the majority of my life memorizing Bible verses either for awana or bible quizzing and. sometimes i just drop biblical words into my writing sometimes bc they're words i've heard since i was a kid, and they're words i learned make you sound smarter at church. so of course i throw them around while writing. i use them in essays, i use them in poetry, and i use them in fan fiction.

so was i trying to make zuko a christ figure in my fic? absolutely not.

but i had sokka say he looked ready to die as atonement (for the sins of his people), and then i had him go into the water, nearly die, and have to be "brought back to life" by suki's cpr, being "born again" after a "baptism" and

well

accidental christ figure zuko i guess

anyway. this went on for a while and i'm not sure anyone bothered reading all of it which. valid.

thank you corey for letting me ramble skjdgfdjgh i'm not sure this is coherent, nor should it have all been in one post, but whatever

[thirstyforoc]

🎂

I know his birthday was a couple days ago but my brain doesn't work that well and I'm always early for everything else, I can be late for this.

Here's something to read that's probably not great and wordy and rambly and really only relevant to my own interests. I had to hammer this out because I just had to and it took longer than I expected because I can't shut the fuck up. Read it if you feel like it or don't, I'll still love you either way.

Using real names so don't keep going if that bothers you. I didn't post the picture but I make a reference to that one pic of him at Medieval Times, you know the one, at least I hope you do. Enjoy.

Idk, I just like picturing every single birthday Dustin and Jim have spent together since they became friends. Sue me. I have too much time on my hands and like to think about their relationship so I have to get this out. Here. Take it.

It's early in their friendship, a few years in. They're in Philly for a show and Dustin knows it's almost Jim's birthday, he's aware it's coming up but he forgot what day it fell on and that it was so soon until Jim brings it up. He's never super sober or super clear on what day of the week it is, that's just how he lives. If anyone has a problem with it that's on them. Jim never seems to take issue with it though. Maybe that's why their friends?

It's the Friday before his birthday. They're hanging out at Dustin's place before heading to the show and Jim reminds Dustin when his birthday is. "Tuesday? Your fucking birthday is on a Tuesday this year? Gross. Jim Day on a Tuesday. Lame."

Jim laughs a little, the soft laugh he always gives Dustin when he's being a certain kind of ridiculous or obnoxious, like he can't believe he's saying what he's saying. "You know I don't get to pick what day my birthday falls on, right? Tell me you know that. I need to hear you say you know that."

"I mean, yuck. What's there to do on a Tuesday?"

"I dunno. I don't really have any plans this year." Truth be told Jim's not all that concerned with how he's going to spend his actual birthday. Perhaps he'll do something with friends or family back in Jersey? Maybe he won't. It's not a big, special, milestone birthday or anything. No reason to go all out.

Dustin absolutely, positively will not shut up about it. No matter how many times Jim grunts or rolls his eyes Dustin just keeps talking and babbling about how it's a crime for someone's birthday to fall on a Tuesday. Jim's on the verge of asking Dustin exactly what is wrong with Tuesdays anyway when Dustin pauses to look right at him. "We should just start now."

"Huh?"

"Today."

"Today?"

"Yeah. Like, spend the whole weekend partying. Today is your birthday. Tomorrow is your birthday. Keep the Jim Day train on the tracks through Sunday, Monday, your actual birthday. You said you didn't have plans, right? Just stay. You'll stay and it'll be like...like one long birthday instead of a fucking boring ass birthday on a Tuesday of all days. Yeah, you'll stay and...and you'll stay and we'll find things to do every day. So, you'll stay." It's never a question. It's already been decided that Jim's going to agree. Dustin never sounds uncertain, says it with such confidence. He's not fearful even for one second Jim might say he isn't down.

Dustin wants him to stay so Jim does. Sure, he's got things he could be doing at home, was planning on staying maybe through Saturday and heading back Sunday morning, Sunday evening at the latest but he could stay. Yeah, he will stay. Dustin wants him to stay so he's staying.

Work will go on without him. He'll call his family and tell them something came up. If his parents or siblings are upset they can find a way to celebrate his birthday once he's home and recovered from what's bound to be a bender if he knows anything at all about Dustin. Dustin wants him to stay. He'll stay.

Man, go home where he's made no plans, where there's no party, and most of all no Dustin or have the time of his life all weekend with one of his best friends? Wow, that's a hard choice. Dustin really seems to want him to stay so he's staying.

Friday night they head to the nearest bar after the show is over, close down the damn thing and stay up laughing and talking on Dustin's couch for three hours once they get back. They're not even paying attention to the time, neither one cares. Drinking and partying with all their wrestling friends was fun but at the end of the night it's nice that it's just the two of them. It's nice.

The next morning is a bit rough. Ok, they aren't conscious until afternoon but 2pm counts as morning when it's Dustin and Jim you're talking about. Saturday-it's Saturday, right?-is pretty much the same only the drinking begins much earlier, like pretty much as soon as they're both showered and get some food in their stomachs. Day drinking is a lot of fun, so much fun that a short nap is necessary before they head out to meet their friends again. Actually, they kind of passed out together on the couch watching tv, it was completely unintentional and unplanned. They probably would have slept the rest of the day away if not for Dustin being startled awake by Jim's loud snoring. "Thank god we don't live together." Dustin thinks for a moment while watching Jim sleep. Well, maybe that wouldn't be all bad. Whatever, can't think about it too long, they have to get up.

Saturday night is even wilder than Friday night. They drink too much. Way too much. They're tanked. Bombed. Blitzed. Completely fucked. Dustin kept buying them shots and when their bar tab got a little too high he simply shifted to telling everyone who would listen it was Jim's birthday, coaxed a bunch of other drunks into buying them more shots.

Sunday is the worst. They're suffering when they finally roll out of bed and off the couch for good and both agree easily, immediately they should take it easy today. There's a shitty, cheap diner close to Dustin's place so they stop there to eat dinner, share a huge plate of greasy diner food that Dustin pays for. Friends keep asking if they're coming to the bar again but both of them are in rocky shape from the night before. They sit Sunday night out, convalesce on Dustin's couch quietly, chug water and make small talk while they recover.

Monday evening Dustin takes Jim to Medieval Times because the little guy has talked about it so many times since they first met, drops hints constantly about how he wants to go-not this weekend but Dustin remembers him mentioning it-so Dustin figures now would be good. It's the little hunk's birthday after all.

On the drive there they swear they're going to take it easy, agree to have a couple glasses of wine with dinner and call it good. What a crock of shit. After cracking open their third bottle of the night Jim insists he's going to sit on that throne because he'll look badass so Dustin follows. He follows his little drunk blond friend everywhere, why wouldn't he? Gotta keep tabs on him, make sure he's safe, keep eyes on him. Jim doesn't ask but Dustin takes several pictures of him on that throne, laughs the entire time because Jim is hilarious and fun and cute, really fucking cute, especially with almost two bottles of wine in him.

"Ooh. C'mon." Jim grabs Dustin's wrist so fast he damn near drops his phone, leads him towards the photo booth in the lobby. The little shit is lucky Dustin has some cash on him, Dustin can tell from the look on his face he isn't going to take no for an answer. Jim shoves Dustin in first and almost crashes down on his lap, drunk on wine and apparently really fucking excited about them taking pictures together.

The booth is tiny. The seat is narrow. Jim's a compact little guy but Dustin's certainly not. To say they're crammed in there would be an understatement but they manage. Dustin forgets to look where he's supposed to look, far too preoccupied with staring at the little blond planted on his lap. "King for a day." Jim laughs, flashes Dustin a huge, vibrant smile as he points to the novelty crown on his head.

Maybe Dustin's going soft? Maybe he had more wine than he thought? Maybe they've spent a little too much time together the last few days? Maybe. Maybe not. All Dustin knows is it's easier for him to blame the urge to kiss Jim right in this photo booth on one of those things instead of being honest with himself and admitting he has feelings for the guy.

"Maybe Jim shouldn't have such pretty pink lips if I can't kiss him." Definitely can't say that out loud. Hold on. Rewind. Go back to the beginning. Jim's drunk and smiling and the booth is still snapping pictures of them. "Say something that doesn't involve his lips, you moron!"

Easier said than done. Dustin's brain makes it sound so simple. The truth is it's really difficult, borderline impossible to stop thinking about his pretty mouth. Jim's still looking at him so Dustin smiles back, reaches over and brushes his fingertips across Jim's cheek. "You're always a king to me, baby." Why the fuck did he say that? He would have been better off just kissing Jim. Jim just laughs, a huge, easy laugh that goes on until the little voice in the booth tells them to wait outside for their pictures to process. Jim climbs off his lap and the moment is over, gone, finished just as quickly as it came. Oh well. Maybe next time. It's not like Dustin's going to forget he wants to kiss him anytime soon.

They're so drunk at the conclusion of their night at Medieval Times they need to leave Dustin's car there and catch a cab home. Whatever. He'll have someone drive him back so he can pick it up in the morning. They had fun. No harm done. A friend gives them both a lift to pick up Dustin's shitty old car and they're already out so they kick off Tuesday by going out for brunch. It's a lot pricier than the greasy spoon diner by Dustin's place and they'll both be broke by the time they're done celebrating but that doesn't really matter does it? Birthdays only come once a year and today is literally Jim's birthday. It's Jim day.

They're full of delicious food by the time they're through and stop at a liquor store to buy supplies for mimosas to drink at home because they both agreed it'd be the cheaper route. They're not trying to get hammered, just sip throughout the day and maintain a nice buzz until it's time to head to the bar. It's Tuesday. Fuck, when did they start this again? Who cares. It's Tuesday. It's Jim Day. It's not until almost midnight on Tuesday that Dustin realizes neither one of them has bothered to talk to a single girl all weekend. Huh. Weird.

Shortly after midnight they toast with a couple shots of whiskey. They call it a night before last call and pick up the most unhealthy food they can find on the way back to Dustin's place, devour it while relaxing on his couch. That's where they fall asleep too, Jim slumped over in a heap on Dustin's shoulder, Dustin simply smiling before putting an arm around the little guy and drifting off shortly after.

Wednesday is pretty chill. Jim's actual birthday has passed and they've been going pretty hard for the last few days. Dustin's suggestion to hit up the grocery store and make dinner at his place is half because they're almost broke and half because they're both sorta worn out. Jim agrees, seems happy about it if Dustin's being honest and that's a relief. He's not much of a cook but for Jim he'll make an exception. It is his birthday, or was his birthday. It may never end, may never stop being his birthday.

They leave the dirty dishes in the sink and waste the rest of the night playing video games, stay up damn near long enough to see the sunrise before they remember it'd be a good idea to get some sleep. It's strange watching Jim curl up on the couch that final time. Dustin knows he's got to go home at some point. The guy doesn't live in Philly, doesn't live here. He's got a life to go back to. He can't just spend all his time hanging out, that's ridiculous. Dustin knows it's completely, utterly ridiculous but he wants Jim to stay. He can't stay.

When they finally wake up on Thursday Dustin is oddly nervous, uneasy. They've never spent such a long stretch together, this is easily the most he's seen of Jim, the most time they've shared since they became friends. It's difficult to admit to himself but Dustin liked it. He liked having Jim around. He liked what he saw. Yeah, they were already friends, best friends but it seems different now and Dustin isn't sure what to do with that knowledge, that feeling.

Time for Jim to leave comes quickly. Before Dustin's had an opportunity to process everything that transpired from the time Jim got to his place Friday afternoon to now Jim's ready to make the trip home. It sucks. There's got to be another excuse, another reason to ask Jim to stay, right? No. He can't do that. He won't do that. Jim can't stay. His birthday has passed. Back to normal, regular life. He'll see Jim in a couple weeks for the next show anyway. He can't stay.

Dustin's not expecting Jim to hug him goodbye. Normal people, friends hug goodbye all the time, he's not sure why it comes as a surprise when Jim's hands are on the back of his neck and the little guy is mumbling something about how much fun he had, thanking Dustin. "You're welcome. Happy birthday." Dustin barely manages to say. Fuck, he's such an idiot. He's not even hugging Jim back. He really should do that.

He does hug Jim back after a few awkward moments, squeezes him a bit too tight judging by that little noise Jim just made. Why else would he make a sound like that? Dustin eases up, lets go of his waist and looks down at his little blond friend. Yeah, this sucks. What, like he's supposed to spend almost six full days with a guy like Jim and not be bothered when it's time for him to leave? He can't stay.

He can't stay but Dustin's not about to let Jim escape without joking around with him one last time. "So, same thing next year? Holy shit, your birthday is gonna fall on a Wednesday next year! Lame. A birthday on a Wednesday is even worse than one on a Tuesday. Gross, dude."

"Shut up. Your birthday rolls around first, remember? Let's plan for that first."

"Deal."

[kaypeace21]

i’m a survivor too, and i found that certain scenes/stuff will said just really struck me as ‘csa-survivor’-like? i felt a bit uncomfortable about headcanoning it happening to someone else, especially for a fandom as wild as this one, but your metas have really been a comfort to me because they’ve been able to pick out and explain things that i couldn’t necessarily find the words for myself.

and yeah, i would love to have a character like me that is powerful and who finds love and who gets a happy ending. the people who call the theory disgusting always kinda hit wrong with me because although csa is a difficult subject, we shouldn’t be ashamed about sharing it. they sound like they’re trying to say that it’s a bad topic to talk about and implying that it can’t happen to kids, which uhhhhh-

(i’m sure that’s not what they mean, precisely, but it’s still what they sound like, and i wish that they would stop implying that we can’t exist, especially in popular media. we do, and i’m not gonna pretend we don’t, and if they feel uncomfortable with the topic they can just use the block button. we deserve to have some well written representation just as much as anyone else. also, i really really hope that will gets a happy ending.)

anywayyyy i love your theories and i can see your post in the tag so i think you’re fine?? have a good day ❤️❤️❤️

SORRY, this ask took so long to respond to. It always warms my heart to hear other survivors speak and say they found comfort in my theory.

Yes, I think I and a lot of c*a/r*pe victims (subconscious or otherwise) were triggered by some of the symbolism/visuals in s1-3. And s3 made it hard for most of us to ignore the past imagery- since s3 wasn’t as subtle.

I get why people have reservations about the theory. But the debates to the contrary are usually just plain offensive. Or people trying to be respectful but being the opposite. There’s the obvious bad-apples . I got many anons after part 1 of my DID theory saying it “ruined/tainted byler”, and “if that happened to Will i’ll stop shipping byler” , or that it  “ruins the best gay character” ,  and to “remove the post immediately”. And this was when I was open about being a gay c*a victim. I obviously blocked them. Many survivors don’t come forward because they’re afraid people will see them as “tainted”, “ruined”, “ just their trauma”, or blame them for what happened. So yeah, it pisses me off when people say similar stuff about Will (and thus other c*a victims). Not even diving into the messed up psychology about byler/mileven shippers (knowing i was a lesbian c*a victim) but purposely spreading bs rumors about me being a p*do that was into Will/Noah-all because of the theory. -_-

Then there’s the people who try to be “respectful” but literally do the opposite.

I’ve heard numerous times it’s somehow “less offensive” to just use r*pe imagery to make monsters scary. Rather than have  the monsters have that imagery cause Will created the monsters from his memory/imagination-and st is a story of Will healing from that trauma. SORRY- I disagree. Using the worst experiences of peoples’ lives (and triggering their trauma) for no real purpose- except to make their monsters scarier to the normal/general audience who haven’t gone through it so won’t be triggered like us - is MORE OFFENSIVE to victims! NOT LESS! At least to me.

Then there’s the people who say “c*a should never be talked about (in stories).” Which I disagree with. V*ctims have already been told by ab*ser’s  and enablers of the ab*ser- to never talk about what happened to us  . So it rubs A LOT of us the wrong way when people say this.  Because (subconscious or not) you remind some of us of the people who used to hurt/silence us. People say this -simply for their convenience (like ab*sers) and cause deep down they’re uncomfortable with our existence and equate the despicable act to us the innocent v*ctim ...or just want to deny the horrible reality of the situation (like many enablers who deny the truth and hurt us because they don’t want to accept reality) . And 1) It brings us back to a time where they told us to NEVER talk about it- and makes us feel like we did something wrong when we didn’t! 2) Every psych professional says with-holding/keeping the ab*se a secret is detrimental to our mental health.

Plus, there’s a HUGE difference between sugarcoating/minimizing trauma or WORSE glamorizing, condoning, or romanticizing C*A in stories (ex: pretty little liars) VS showing how the action is wrong, causes trauma, but showing recovery and happiness is still possible for v*ctims.  if the story shows how accurately traumatizing it is (instead of minimizing/glamorizing it)- it’s incredibly rare for that character to get a happy ending. Having a story about recovering from that type of trauma and finding happiness despite such hardships would be amazing for US survivors! We rarely get stories with a happy ending-  it’s more harmful to us survivors to never see ourselves get happy endings in tv/film/books. How can some survivors (in a dark place) think there’s a light at the end of the tunnel- if it’s never shown?Also if Will has DID too- it’s good mental health rep, along with queer rep (and survivor’s rep.) All 3 groups rarely are treated well or get happy endings in media. A lot of people may feel more heard, seen, and a bit more hopeful for the future - If Will (and other characters) get a happy ending.

And even though st has many themes- like say homophobia. To try and hand-wave all the disturbing  r*pe imagery away  as ‘Will is just gay so the monsters are like that”. IS SOOOOOO offensive. Trigger warning for examples. I’m sorry what part of Max saying when Billy had c*nsensual s*x it’s “good screams” but when possessed by the mf he causes Heather to do “bad screams” read as gay???! Having the possessed ch*ke/dr*g people before throwing them in trunks (like it’s implied Lonnie did to Will -since Jonathan checked Lonnie’s trunk for Will in s1)?Tying their arms and legs up/ g*ging  them and  getting on top of them and saying “stay VERY still it’ll all be over soon”-before a monster shoves it’s tentacle into someone’s mouth and inserts a goo - just gay??? Similar to the sentient vine/shadow monster forcing itself down Will’s throat. Let alone Will saying things like “he made me do it”, “i felt it everywhere”, or being tied to a bed and screaming “help! stop! it hurts! let me go!” While Jonathan is the only one who’s visibly triggered by this and has to literally turn away and hug someone . Or barb, billy, and El spiting up a white liquid from their mouth (similar to will spitting up a slug and lying to his mother about it ).El/billy touching a suspicious looking slime with their hand and looking at the substance confused . El drawing Papa with 3 legs (the middle one being shorter) ,  trying to undress in front of the boys , and Benny saying “I think she’s been ab*sed or something”.The theme of ab*sive dads- brenner , Lonnie, and Neil . Even when the demogorgan (called in d&d the “deep father”/ in the show “a man without a face”) attacked Barb it’s chopped up with scenes of Nancy having c*nsensual sex (the monsters are doing the opposite symbolically). There’s way more examples but NO- to try and hand wave /equate ALL OF THIS to just “gay imagery” or an “a*ds metaphor” is WAY more problematic. And just offensive (specifically to gay people) than just admitting what it may actually represent. R*pe imagery and gay imagery is NOT THE SAME THING!

Also ST has never been a kid show- maybe rewatch the show and see the rating of tv-14 . Goodness sake- s1 has a st*ged su*icde, k*dnappings, m*rder, discussions of physics, h*mophobia, and s*x (with stancy in s1 & jancy in s2-s3). S2/3 discuss at their finalies recovering from tra*ma . S2 had gra*ic de*ths,  a man causing a women br*in damage/ and faking her m*scarriage, and a gang of vigalantes k*lling criminals. s3 had critiques on capitalism /media/s*xism, many d*eaths, and questionable imagery like the prior seasons. The Duffers constantly reference  movies & events from the 80s (capitalizing on 80s nostalgia /subverting 80s motifs that middle age people  from that time remember)! Those people were their intended age demographic . Most 80s centric refs go over most kids’ heads (heck a lot went over my head too since I wasn’t alive in the 80s XD).The Duffers even said in the book “worlds turned upsidedown”  “it’s not a kid’s show despite having kids”. And maybe it’s a coincidence but when Lucas in s3 hands Will the “devil’s baby” firework (a hint about Lonnie) he says “18 and over only.” Which idk is a weird/random af line unless it’s foreshadowing that the show will get darker about various themes- and maybe even change ratings.

I get people wishing nothing bad ever happened to Will or Jonathan. And being apprehensive and not trusting the Duffers to do such a story justice (cause it’s difficult to do). But personally i trust them to do so tastefully with tact and not be exp*itative, (overly gr*fic) or offensive to v*ctims. You can disagree and think the show is about something else (or not trust the Duffers)- but it’d be great if people could stop using these other messed up talking points. While trying to appear ‘(fake) woke’ and like they care for victims- cause we see through it that you really don’t.

Have a lovely day anon ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

Update- I just really agreed with and appreciate the tags in this reblog