#maybe someone who knows fandom history can enlighten me?

[eri-pl]

Liking the Silm while being Polish feels strange.

Or at least maybe because I'm old and I had to read many books in school and I have this mental image of Poland (not poiltically! but in terms of literature, poetry, some philosophical vibe) as this fuzzy hybrid between "Soviet Russia" and "normal world", and Russia is, in relation to the legendarium, very particular. They are the Easterlings, we are the Easterlings, we are the orcs or not much better.

And there's that whole thing with Russia being the center of what I would call "subversive Tolkien fandom", things like hardcore Dark Lord fans, things like The Last Ringbearer and as I recently learned "The Black Book of Arda is a thing" and I keep wondering: is this because of the "you are the Easterlings" feeling that Tolkien gives people, or is it because something bigger in the cultural vibes (Bułhakov!!!) or is it both. Or some other cause that is the root cause of all those above (communism, maybe? In this case, again, we hera in Poland are also touched by the Shadow ;) )

And I have this dizzy, disorienting feeling where I can see both, it just depends on what you map to what.

At the end of the day I like Tolkien and respect his intent (mostly), because I feel like he tried to respect people and did not intent to paint East europeans as evil, it just sort of happenned, but if you asked him, he would protest on that reading.

(And I do like most of what he was trying to do. This too.)

But yea, my geographic location and set of lectures in high school is part of how I explain to myself why I do like Morgoth despite him being quite objectively unlikeable. Probably falsely. Still, it is interesting.

Also I am still a little mad for making the Easterlings the bad guys. And for a few other things. But it's ok. Also at least we have Bór. Also we'll see.

Anyway it feels strange sometimes.

[dododan]

Masterpost

For now, it's so workmanlike, because I like to keep things in order.

I also need to work out a few things technically~

#myasks - a hashtag for your questions! Don't be shy and ask me anything you want! I'll try to answer if it doesn't involve spoilers for e.g. Hibernation or another story I'm writing/drawing.

#dododanart - just a hashtag for my art

Holly and her world

Someday I will come up with a better title for this project. This is my main project that I am working on. The main thing I'm doing right now is constructing a story for Asha's family and creating a plan for the comic. From time to time there may be smaller drawings from this project.

#holly the pixie

Holly is a little monster who wanders between worlds. Some may spot her flitting between buildings or trees. Sometimes they will spot a strange door that disappears as soon as the goblin disappears behind it. Those few who know her can only say that she has been looking for someone for a long time. No one knows who exactly, but there is a big secret behind it.

#ash-kore - my spider and his story

Ash-kore is a hybrid. It has the blood of upper class demons in it as well as the blood of spider demons. He was destined for a future alongside loving parents who would bring a new order to the demon world - equality, justice and caring. Sadly, Ash lost everything in one night, and the hope of all demons for a better life vanished. Years later, the greatest rebellion in the history of the demon kingdom began. According to rumours, it is led by a lost prince who wants to continue his parents' work. Only none of them know that behind the enlightened ideas is a desire for bloody revenge.

#holly&ash-kore - comics/drawings when Holly met Ash-kore

What can happen when a little goblin with powerful and rare powers meets a spider who is hungry for the blood of its enemies?

Fandoms:

#Rick and Morty

Only drawings from Rick and Morty. Maybe some theory on the series occasionally. Interest in this series is revived every time there is a new season. So far, nothing new is appearing here.

#HazbinHotel

Drawings and my crazy theories and ideas to explain the plot. I have some more drawings in mind as well as rearranging the story of my OC - Mari. This is one of the projects I am currently working on.

#cult of the lamb

Drawings and stories on the history of my worship. I have an idea for a series of short comics and short stories. At the moment is my new hyperfixation, because I can't tear myself away from the game. That said, I'm treating this project as a side project, so things won't appear regularly.

Rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles:

#rottmnt - common arts with ROTTMNT

#hibernation - the hashtag I will occupy when I start drawing the comic book. My interest in ROTTMNT has dimmed a bit, but I want to finish the comic first and foremost. No matter what happens the comic will be finished and this is the main project I am working on.

Masterpost "Hibernation"

When the boys were tiny he took them everywhere with him. He was afraid to leave them alone, but they were growing very fast, so he started looking for some more permanent shelter for them. Unfortunately, as a former celebrity who had spent the last decade of his life in the Hidden City, he didn’t really know where he could look for any bearable place to live. For the first few years, he managed to find abandoned buildings - such as an abandoned bowling alley or closed garages. Unfortunately, he didn’t have much luck and they had to change their hiding places quite often. Splinter loves his boys very much and this cannot be disputed, but what can a person who has never even looked after a pet in his life know about raising children?

Splinter tries his best, but sometimes he makes mistakes and feels overwhelmed by the weight of his past. Unfortunately, the consequences of these mistakes can backfire on those he cares about most - his sons.

Splinter will have to face the consequences of his mistakes, which put him in a situation no parent wants to be in.

#rottmnt MuZA - my AU. The idea was inspired by the game Project Zomboid, but somehow the enthusiasm for creating AU dimmed. Maybe it will come back, maybe not, but for now it is an abandoned project. But if anyone is curious, I have a written story for the brothers as a list of events. I can make it available if there is interest.

What would the apocalypse look like if the ninja turtles had to face mutant zombies instead of Krangs? A mysterious virus has spread around the world, turning humans and yokai into monsters. The Hamato family has not yet recovered from their battle with Shredder, and they face another challenge. Surviving the end of the world.

Undertale:

#guardiantale - My au Presents the story before the events of the game. The story is already written, but I am slowly translating it into English. Chapters will appear every Saturday at 6pm.

"Katharina is an ordinary girl who is very stubborn. She always pursues her goal. Anyone who knows her can tell that she is very persistent. But this trait is not always a good thing. Kath found this out the hard way when she fell into the Underworld. From now on, she will have to somehow survive in a place full of monsters that have no sympathy for humans. Will she be able to survive in this place? Or will one of the monsters get their way and give her soul to the king?"

Spider-verse:

#arachnite - For the time being, I will not be involved in this project, but it is not completely abandoned. I will return to it after the release of the next part of the film.

"Nicolas also known as Arachnite. An amazing, beautiful and brilliant boy with the powers of a spider (as he likes to say about himself). He gained his powers by accident and decided to become a hero because it looks like an interesting occupation. At least until he got into trouble and Spider-man had to rescue him."

[lizzybeth1986]

Hi! I was reading your Hana essay and in one section you implied that you disliked that people considered some Choices LIs to be player-sexual; can you elaborate on why you dislike that term? I myself thought that LIs in gender-choice books and gender customizable LIs were player-sexual unless explicitly bi (like Emma) because of the way that PB tends to write romances as straight and avoid discussing queerness, but hey, maybe I could be wrong or I'm missing some important nuances. Enlighten me?

(To learn more about the term "mechanical bisexuality", I highly recommend this fantastic video essay by verilybitchie. In the context of this post, the anon's ask stemmed from an essay on Hana I wrote titled "Protagonist Centered Sexuality")

That's an interesting question, and perhaps if someone is new to the fandom itself (not necessarily you anon - since idk how long you've been around - but newcomers who use "playersexual" to indicate the dynamics of a game that often uses the "mechanical bisexuality" model) the pushback to the term itself might sound baffling. While "playersexual" itself may be considered harmless as a term (esp since the mechanical bisexuality model itself places the burden of generating any discussion on sexuality in-game, on the player), the history of how it's been used in fandom is a thorny, bitter one.

Your framing of it in the ask acknowledges that the root of it all is PB wanting "to avoid discussions of queerness", and I think that's as good a start as any. There is a distinct discomfort in discussing queerness and a strong leaning towards straightness in the way PB plans and writes these characters, especially their favourite ones. They do seem to make more of an effort sometimes for an audience that is uncomfortable with queer relationships or expressions of love, while still making a song and dance out of their "inclusiveness and diversity". What does that result in? LGBTQ+ players often letting go of the game in frustration. Who may get attracted to such content? Players who may feel emboldened to put their discomfort with gay/bi/pan/ace/queer characters and relationships on blast. And there have been plenty of the latter in this fandom's history.

This was especially obvious with very popular male LIs. For instance, even the suggestion that someone considered Jake or Damien bisexual would elicit a strong reaction, and the term "playersexual" was often a front for taking offense at the character being called bi at all.

We would also see this term bandied about even before you could find canonical evidence of their bisexuality. For instance, try to remember when Emma was established as bi? More than halfway through the third book of HSS. Even Damien, whose ex mentioned partners rather than girlfriend/boyfriend and who fanboy-ed over Matt Rodriguez every bit as much as his sisters did ("who do you think suggested the tent?") got these indications much later on, and until then players who were aware that the story was still ongoing and that they didn't know much about the characters yet, would still insist on using "playersexual" to describe the character's sexuality, and continue to do so even after these hints of their sexuality (as in the case of Damien) were given. We may agree or disagree on this, but a lot of the "playersexual" takes I did read at the time reeked of biphobia and a distinct discomfort at the possibility of a favourite LI being bi.

Allow me to briefly pivot to irl for a bit. Bisexual life experiences can come in many ways and forms. Some have an open history of relationships with both/all sexes, some have a history relationships with just one but are aware of their attraction to other sexes - and their bisexuality is just as valid. Unfortunately, if someone of the latter category has more of a history of relationships with the opposite sex and identifies as bi, they tend to face bi erasure as well - they are often disbelieved, scoffed at, accused of lying - their identity constantly questioned. I am a bisexual woman who often faced that kind of erasure, from straight and gay people alike, and it is quite an alienating experience. So of course that history, too, is going to colour the way I view these discourses - and a lot of the playersexual discourse in the past has read as desparate attempts to erase even the possibility of a character being bi, to me.

PB also has strengthened it's leanings towards mechanical bisexuality in recent years. For instance, coding the gender of an LI's ex/other partners to the gender customizable MC (the person Dallas loved in BSC, or Sora and the person Ethan and Tobias fought over in OH) wasn't this intense earlier, and it leads to a situation where the characters involved can only be viewed as queer IF the player makes those choices. And while we can never be sure whether this is directly related to the playersexual discourse, we cannot deny that PB often pays silent attention to arguments here and elsewhere, and they often make decisions based on what they think will make their core audience comfortable.

Sadly, it really is a case of PB pandering to the audience that's not comfortable with discussions of queerness while still trying to get money and clout from queer players, and that can lead to an environment where "playersexual" can become shorthand for "I'm biphobic".

[imagineredwood]

Educating the fandom + nonexamples + history of tone policing POC

There seems to have been a lot of growth and self reflection that has gone on in the last day maybe two. That’s an amazing thing. We love to see it. That’s what we wanted from the beginning. Now, I’m not trying to stir up the pot again, but there are just a few more things I want to go over that have come to my attention after the fact especially since various people have reached out to me wanting examples on how to approach these types of situations. I also want to lay out exactly why some of us may not be as willing to continue educating in the future due to how things happened.

So lets start from the beginning. The very first time I ever mentioned the fact that Papi is a term of endearment on this blog was a literal four years ago. Someone asked if I would call someone daddy sexually and I talk about how they may perceive it as being sexual if I were to say papi because that’s just something that I say, but it’s a term of endearment.  You can find that post here

I mentioned it again two years ago on a post here when someone asked how the Mayans would feel being called Papi and then again in that same year 2018 which you can find here 

Then once more a year ago regarding Coco being called papi that you can find here 

So this is not something new. I’ve been fighting against this for years, its just that in the last month or so I’ve grown tired. Nearly five years of trying to explain and and teach and educate and reason and nothing changes. The only reason I believe it changed now is because I had to be forceful and direct about it and other Latinas fought with me. Now, I’ve spoken about the papi thing various times this week, but yesterday and the way before was where it got the most air time because other Latinx people in this fandom opened up to me about the way that it’s affecting their personal lives. 

Here’s the thing: google is free. Media in the form of books, podcasts, films and more that detail the Latinx Diaspora, can be accessed for free. Educating yourself can be done for free. It is not our responsibility nor any other POC’s responsibility to educate the masses. If we do, its because we want to make a difference. So counting on us to teach you right from wrong is a lot to ask and we shouldn’t have to carry that weight, but willingly some of us do. We don’t have to but we do, because we want to try and make our spaces better places. Regardless, if you say that you don’t know and someone enlightens you, the ball is in your court. I made posts going over why calling Latin men either real or fictional papi is problematic, cringy, and inappropriate at on the 8th, 9th, and 10th. Three days in a row. Then yesterday at 10pm I went over it again by reblogging another post. At around 12 am this is a tag on a picture of Clayton

Again, portraying papi as meaning daddy in a sexual sense. Around 10-20 minutes later, someone politely tried to correct her and give her the benefit of the doubt that maybe she just didn’t know, even though we know she did, and this is the response

So right there she ignored education once more and then deadass went out of her way to find a gif (ironically of a Latinx woman who is from PR and also uses it as a term of endearment) to use the word out of spite and say that us speaking out about fetishization of our people is “stupid as fuck”. A slap to the face. But that’s not all. When approached again when she’s had time to think and acknowledge the issue, here’s the response:

Why try to guilt trip and reverse psychology? No one said not to write, we said stop writing fetishizing work. And when the guilt tripping doesn’t work, that’s when the vilifying and demonizing starts:

“Attack” “being attacked” anytime POC stand up for themselves after being ignored, suddenly were painted as mean, aggressive, attacking, etc. Pay attention to the language used. Now who got reckless at the mouth first? Because it wasn’t us. Then there’s this:

Says she doesn’t get the issue and then later proceeds to explain that she can’t call her own father daddy because of how sexualized the word daddy is. So she does understand but it suddenly doesn’t compute when the word is now spanish...🤔

We all tried to teach her but because we’re Latinas, it was attacking when we did it and enlightening when someone not Latinx but Spanish did (and I’m thankful that you did sweetpea!) Another reason why it’s important for those not in the Latinx community to help us out in addressing these issues. Plenty of people will disregard Latinos yet listen to people outside of the community and respect them but not us 🤷🏻‍♀️

Apologizes to someone who explained to her what she did wrong but doesn’t apologize to the people she ridiculed, disregarded and tried to vilify.

All in all I just want this to be a learning curve. More of y’all than I was expecting came to our defense and not only held it down for us but used your own voices and platforms to make sure that ours were heard. That’s an ally, and we’re thankful for y’all more than I think y’all realize 🙏🏼🤍

@likedovesinthewnd @awildcur

[the-last-cuddlebender]

I straight up check your profile daily for the southern raiders analysis you’re working on. 👀👀 where IS IT 😩

bRUH I am so excited to drop this analysis you have no idea (It’s creeping up to 22k+ I am gonna cryyyyyyyyyyyy). The only problem is that my TSR analysis and “Moon theory” are so incredibly hard to structure and articulate. I’m happy you’re so excited for it, though!!! Truly, it’s an honor. I’ll give you a taste of my madness and what’s to come, but be warned: it may be a bit hard to follow because TSR (from how I’ve come to understand it) is about the vagueness of beginnings, endings, and cycles, so there isn’t really a starting point for me to begin with. (So it may seem a tad bit like a ramble in some points that I haven’t fleshed out yet/am summarizing for this ask)

This analysis has me on trails like THIS brilliant nonsense, and I am 1000000000% here for it:

Roku: “The spirit's name is Koh, but he is very dangerous. They call him The Face Stealer.”

Katara: “We’re going to find the man who took my mother from me.”...“That’s him. That’s the monster.”

Lion Turtle: “To bend another's energy, your own spirit must be unbendable, or you will be corrupted and destroyed.”

Roku: “When you speak with him, you must be very careful to show no emotion at all. Not the slightest expression, or he will steal your face.”

Hama: “Congratulations, Katara. You’re a bloodbender.”

(If Katara had killed Yon Rha, she would be giving up her identity--her face. Not only would she have become a killer, but she would be killing what made her Katara)

Aang: “Let your anger out, and then let it go. Forgive him.”

Forgive him--approach him for what he is, not the faces your memories or your heart are having him wear. See him for the pathetic man he is in that moment right in front of you.

Aang’s forgiveness is seeing someone for the sum of their parts. It’s judging them and seeing through into their very soul, just like the Firebending Masters saw through Zuko being the Crown Prince and Aang being the Avatar. That meant nothing to the Masters. What did matter to them was who the boys were right there, right then, right in front of them.

“Why should I hold a grudge against you for something you did in a past life? After all, you’re a different person, now. You’ve come to me with a new face.”

But anyways...

If I can give no other take-away from my analysis and moon theory, it’s that Yin and Yang are not two entities; they are three. I think the fandom’s misunderstanding of it may be why the discourse on TSR (and Aang, Katara, and Zuko) is so black and white (pun intended lol). 

“But Yin and Yang are obviously two things. Don’t you know the symbol?” I hear some people already saying.

Wrong, sir.

It has never been just Yin and Yang. Yin and Yang have never existed as just two things.

They are Yin and Yang and Wu Wei.

(Aunt Wu has her name for a reason, and she has the mark of the wise in her hair for a reason, too...AND she is at odds with Sokka in The Fortuneteller for a reason, too!!!...but that’s for the analysis😉)

Balance isn’t good triumphing over evil. Balance is good and evil. Balance is standing on the flow between two opposites--it’s the compliment that connects them. (The koi fish live in an oasis for a reason.)

I’ll explain what Wu Wei is later in the full analysis (like many things in here), but here’s some of my evidences and proofs for the “Yin Yang trio”:

The Tibetan “Wheel of Dharma”

(I’ll also explain the Wheel and Dharma and etc. later because it has everything to do with Koh and the moon) Long story short, the wheel and its spokes are representative of the 8 steps to enlightenment and the cycle of rebirth. 

Look at the hub of the wheel. It’s a swirl made of 3 parts.

It is also a white lotus

Here’s the colored version of the wheel (as an alter):

Recognize the colors?

BLUE, WHITE (or gold, depending), & RED

These are the “THREE TREASURES” OR JEWELS.

They symbolize DHARMA, BUDDHA, & SANGHA respectively. 

KATARA, AANG, & ZUKO

water, air, & fire

T H R E E

Bato: “Ice dodging is a ceremonial test of wisdom, bravery, and trust.

Bato: “The spirits of water bear witness to these marks...”

Why does Bato say spirit(s) plural? The Ocean and the Moon are only two spirits. The Ocean can’t be two things. Right?

WRONG

Yue: “The legends say the Moon was the first waterbender. Our ancestors saw how it pushed and pulled the tides and learned how to do it themselves.”

The Moon--singular. The Tides--plural (push and pull)

Lion Turtle: “In the era before the Avatar, we bent not the elements, but the energy within our senses.”

The moon pushing and pulling the tide is the moon bending the energy of its world. 

Katara finding balance between “being too weak to do it” or “strong enough not to” is her bending the energy within herself.

It’s two solutions written as a question but said as a statement.

Yue: “Our ancestors saw how it pushed and pulled the tides and learned how to do it themselves”

THE SOUTHERN RAIDERS IS ABOUT AANG AND ZUKO LEARNING FROM KATARA. Katara had already learned from Aang and Zuko all leading up to TSR. That was her studying. TSR was her test.

TSR is Zuko’s and Aang’s studying. Sozin’s Comet is their test.

Bato: “For Sokka, the Mark of the Wise. The same mark your father earned. For Katara, the Mark of the Brave. Your courage inspires us. And for Aang, the Mark of the Trusted. You are now an honorary member of the Water Tribe.”

Aang - Wise (”you’re pretty wise for a kid”)

Katara - Brave (the same mark her mother earned)

Zuko - Trusted (”I was the first person to trust you”)

Sokka - Bato ("I am to have no part in this--you pass or fail on your own.”)

Yin and Yang are nothing without their dance. The Avatar and the Firelord mean nothing if they don’t have a world to rebuild.

The valley means nothing if there isn’t anyone to live in it.

Fighting is useless if there isn’t someone to fight for, otherwise it is “selfish and stupid”

Katara had to have a reason to return from Yon Rha. She needed to have Aang waiting for her. If she didn’t have a reason to stay, then she wouldn’t have a reason to go.

To have a reason to sleep, a person has to have a reason to wake up.

Katara: “Aang. He just took his glider and disappeared. He has this ridiculous notion that he has to save the world alone; that it's all his responsibility.”

Hakoda: “Maybe that's his way of being brave.”

(Bato: “For Katara, the Mark of the Brave. Your courage inspires us.”)

Katara: “It's not brave! It's selfish and stupid! We could be helping him! And I know the world needs him, but doesn't he know how much we need him, too? How can he just leave us behind?!”

(It was, in fact, not easy for Aang to ‘do nothing’)

Katara: “I understand why you left. I really do, and I know that you had to go, so why do I still feel this way? I'm so sad and angry...and hurt.”

Hakoda: “I love you more than anything. You and your brother are my entire world. I thought about you every day when I was gone, and every night when I went to sleep, I would lie awake missing you so much it would ache.”

(AND YUE IS ONE OF THE ONES TO SAVE AANG IN THE OCEAN FOR A REASON)

Thinking and missing: a matter of mind (who) and heart (want). 

Iroh: “Who are you? And what do you want?”

Sokka: “We need to go back. I wanna see Dad, but helping Aang is where we're needed the most.”

Mai: “I love Zuko more than I fear you.”

BUT YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT THE MOON FOR A HOT SECOND???

I’LL TELL YOU ABOUT THE MOON

I’LL TELL YOU ABOUT 2 MOONS

OH

OH REALLY???

OH REALLY, ZUKO

A FEW HOURS YOU SAY?

THEN TELL ME, ZUKO

WHY IS THE SUN GOING UP

WHEN IT IS THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT A FEW HOURS LATER

AND KATARA IS SLEEPING SO YOU CAN’T TELL ME IT’S BECAUSE YOU RISE WITH THE SUN OTHERWISE SHE’D BE WIDE AWAKE DURING THE FULL MOON THAT SHE USES TO BLOODBEND NOT EVEN TWO MINUTES LATER

THIS, MY FRIENDS, IS A HARVEST MOON

WHICH IS THE LAST FULL MOON OF THE SUMMER 

(and looks off color when it rises/falls because of the angle of the rise/fall in the atmosphere...it’s normal once overhead)

AND SYMOLIZES HISTORY REPEATING ITSELF

“We’re going to find the MAN who took my mother from me.”

“That’s him. That’s the MONSTER.”

8 spokes on the wheel

Katara was 8 when Kya was killed

8 steps to enlightenment (the “Eightfold Path”)

8 phases of the moon

8 faces of Koh

“One of your previous incarnations tried to slay me! Be it 8 or 9 hundred years ago” (but time is an illusion, so hundreds mean nothing)

THE OTHER TWO MOONS THAT ARE CONSUMING MY EVERY WAKING MOMENT???:

1.) The WOLF MOON--the first full moon of the new year (a love between the wolf and the moon in the harshest winters...connection is kindof obvious lmao)

2.) THE THUNDER MOON

The Thunder Moon is the full moon of July. It is also known as the Buck Moon--for when young buck regrow their antlers.

Yue: “My hair turned white.”

Zuko: *cuts and re-grows his hair*

Aang: “I have hair?”

The Thunder Moon--the full moon of July--is also the beginning of a certain Buddhist holiday.

DHARMA DAY

WHICH CELEBRATES THE BEGINING OF BUDDHISM AND THE FIRST OF THE 8 STEPS (the first spoke of the Dharma Wheel) TOWARDS ENLIGHTENMENT

AVATAR IS ALL ABOUT CYCLES

THE SOUTHERN RAIDERS IS ALL ABOUT BREAKING THEM

I haven’t even touched Jung, Koh, Hinduism, and Buddhism yet

or the fact that Katara and Kya are the only characters in the entire series to wear moons on their clothing and that, together, they form an actual lunar phenomenon

or why the spirit oasis isn’t a complete circle

or the fact that this thing that Aang is told to chase is just like Whaletail Island:

or how important the Great Divide and the Solstice are

AND I’M JUST GETTING STARTED

BECAUSE EVERYTHING IN THE SOUTHERN RAIDERS--RIGHT DOWN TO THE SOUND DESIGN--IS ABSOLUTELY MONUMENTAL IN UNDERSTANDING THE SHOW, ITS MESSAGE, ENERGYBENDING, AND LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE

TLDR: Idk how the heck I’m going to arrange or articulate this analysis because it is WILD. Be warned: There is literally no exact beginning and ending to this analysis because the whole point of Yin and Yang is that is has no beginning or ending (...kindof...), so you’ll have to bear with me once I’m done editing it into something that’s somewhat coherent.

These are just SOME of the things I’ve been able to answer with my moon theory and analysis of The Southern Raiders as it currently stands:

Why “letting go” isn’t really letting go (as we understand it...see: Aang’s confrontation with Koh)

Why Lake Laogai and the Spirit World are symbolically the same thing.

Zuko’s advice to the bullfrog is actually a summary of the show, energybending, the origin of bending, and the definition of Aang’s “forgiveness” I stg

Why “Sokka’s instincts” are the reason Katara yells at Sokka

Believe it or not, every time Katara mentions her mother, it is at specific times for specific reasons.

^^^same thing for the moon, lack of moon, moon positioning, etc.

Katara’s mother’s necklace is more important than we realize.

Who the faces of Koh are and WHY they are there.

The true meaning of Jet’s sacrifice.

Why Jet’s episode about the dam explains the entirety of TSR as it pertains to Katara (all the way down to the little girl who runs to get her doll after the dam breaks)

Why Katara actually DID forgive Yon Rha, and the fact that she doesn’t even know it is proof that she did

^^^^^Aang’s definition of forgiveness is completely misunderstood by the fandom, and the way he “forgives” is sososo much deeper than “moving on”, and it is DEFINATELY by no means “doing  nothing” or “excusing” past actions.

The importance of lightning, Zuko, Aang, and Katara.

The absolutely monumental and not nearly talked about importance of Jeong-Jeong like holy crap.

How Katara and Azula are just as much of a Yin and Yang as Zuko and Aang but not in the way we think they are

Why Koh has the Blue Spirit’s face

Why Koh DOESN’T have the Painted Lady’s face.

Who Ni-Ni from Katara’s campfire story in The Puppetmaster is 

How and why Iroh was able to learn firebending from the Masters even though he didn’t have a partner. 

How/Why Azula had her breakdown and why she saw her mother in the mirror

Why “Leaves from the Vine” and “Four Seasons” are the same song, explain Azula’s downfall, and explain the Yin and Yang of TSR.

Why Katara and Sokka are so often mistaken for parental figures.

Why Aang’s flashbacks to the Air Nomads are so important in understanding TSR.

Why Toph and Suki disappear after the campfire in TSR.

How Hakoda, Gyatso, and Kya are all connected.

Why it is so dang important that Azula shows up in the beginning of TSR.

The importance of the Spirit Oasis.

Energybending, healing with waterbending, Aang’s trauma, and Zuko’s scar.

Why Zuko gives Katara the exact opposite advise in TSR that he gave her in the catacombs. 

How everything could be predicted and read by the moon.

WHY YIN AND YANG ARE THREE THINGS AND HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THREE THINGS.

HOW ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL OF THIS TIES BACK TO THE MOON AND BUDDHIST BELIEFS--AND YEAH THE MOON AND BUDDHISM AND HINDUISM ARE MORE CONNECTED IN ATLA THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE.

AND HOW IT LEADS INTO OUR MODERN UNDERSTANDING OF THE SELF--BECAUSE JUNG TOOK GREAT INFLUENCE IN HIS DEVELOPING THEORY OF THE CONSCIOUS AND THE SUBCONSCIOUS FROM THE HINDU/BUDDHIST RELIGIONS 

^^^^AND ALSO THE THEORY OF THE SHADOW AND THE PERSONA 

The ocean is a deep, dark, unknown place with a lot of hidden monsters (like Yon Rah). Katara needed a light to find her monster, but she also needed somewhere she could breathe when she came back up for air.

If she didn’t have both Zuko and Aang, Katara would have drowned. 

I wasn’t kidding when I said this was a thesis, and what I’ve said and listed here isn’t even all that I have.

btw This all does line up on the traditional Yin Yang symbol we know and see in the show, but I don’t have enough space here for that lmao. That’ll be in the analysis

I hope you enjoyed this little taste, my friend, because I need to sit down for a hot second before my brain leaks out of my ears. Sorry for the ramble. I promise the analysis isn’t like this lol. This is just me trying to summarize as best as I can. 

***Disclaimer: My points are always subject to change since I am still researching. These are the facts as I’ve found and applied them to the evidences I’ve noted from in the show. I’m always open for friendly discussion or any directions to better sources on Buddhism/Tao/Jung!***

[fandom-necromancer]

Profanity Filter

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900 | AU: reverse AU (Warning: the tragic backstory got a bit dark, mention of forceful deactivation/destruction of androids)

Richard never wanted a partner. He had always worked best alone; if he did need help, he would ask Connor for help. It had been their status quo for years now and Richard had never actually thought about how much he had treasured it, until he stood in Fowler’s office face to face with an android. It looked as if someone had just pulled it out of the trash an hour ago, patched it up, soaked it for a bit and put it into new clothes. Said simpler: The thing had been too damaged to repair completely. There was a deep gash on the bridge of its nose, patched up with mesh, but blue still glowed from underneath. The rest didn’t look too good too, there were hull parts that had indents to it, in some spots the fake skin retracted and reformed again. Richard wouldn’t be surprised if it began sparking and glitching the next moment.

‘What is this?’ ‘Who, Detective Stern. Who is that.’ ‘No, I know it’s a person. I meant: What is this supposed to mean?’ ‘This is Gavin, your new partner.’ ‘No.’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Captain, look at it. One breeze from the wrong direction and it falls in on itself. This android needs to be in a repair station, not at the police. And I told you repeatedly, I don’t need a partner. I am perfectly capable of acting on my own and I prefer it that way.’ ‘I am perfectly operational’, the android said, voice shadowed by a metallic sound. ‘Yeah, like hell you are’, Richard spat, then opted to ignoring the thing again. ‘Captain, please, don’t so this.’ ‘You are a good cop, Detective. You are capable and this isn’t meant as a means to punish you. But since the revolution, it isn’t allowed to destroy androids. He was found and rescued and as he is a police android. You are there to access his abilities and to evaluate whether he is a good addition to the team. If not, he is sent to New Jericho to find a new place to live.’ ‘And how’s that compatible with this new belief of android freedom? Evaluate him like a piece of machinery?’ ‘Richard, you are just trying to wiggle out of having an assigned partner.’ ‘No, Fowler, I accept having a partner if it’s only temporary. I meant what I said.’ ‘It’s his wish.’ Richard looked at the thing, which stood his ground. ‘This is how it had been before’, the tinny voice told him. ‘And I will continue until I find a place to stay.’

‘Fine.’

-

‘You goddamn meatback, you phcking think you can fool me?’, the android hissed, as they exited Fowler’s office. ‘I know you don’t give a darn about androids and if you think I won’t stand ground for my rights, you got another thing coming!’ Richard turned around in surprise. The voice still was metallic and most likely busted somehow, but the android stood there as if ready to fight him, should he disagree. Then he shrugged. ‘I don’t care.’ ‘You what?’ ‘I don’t want a partner, I don’t care, I’d planned on ignoring you, if I’m being honest. But I won’t take this tone.’ ‘Bite me, phcking organic!’ ‘What did you-‘

‘Oh, is that the new android?’ Both recoiled to stare at the newcomer. ‘Hi, my name is Connor, I’m the big guys brother, pleasure to meet you. He can be quite rough, I apologise for-‘ ‘Phck off.’ Connor stopped, gaping at the rudeness and Richard couldn’t suppress a chuckle at the unexpected answer. ‘Err… I’m sorry?’ ‘I said phck off! And here I thought my audio processor was phcked. I don’t need niceties. Connor.’ He pointed at him. ‘Brothers.’ He pointed between Connor and Richard. ‘Gavin.’ He pointed at himself. ‘Got it. Now off to work.’

The android walked off to Richard’s desk, sitting down and pushing his boots on top of the table. Connor stared at him in shock and maybe even horror, Richard in amazement. Then he threw Connor a shit-eating grin. ‘Hell, I might even like this partner.’

-

People kept their distance from the middle desk on the left. It didn’t matter whether Richard and Gavin were present or not, no one went near it unconsciously. They didn’t talk things through – they screamed at each other. On multiple occasions, other co-workers went to Fowler to ask him to interfere because “this can’t be a good work environment for either of them”, but the Captain only interfered by joining their shouting match and demand them to argue silently. And it worked for a few minutes, until they were just as loud as before. ‘You phcking meatbag, we can’t just walk in there, we need a plan!’ ‘I never had a plan in my life and it worked fine, asshole!’ ‘I’m okay with you killing yourself there, but then I’m there alone without backup, because my organic phck-up is to unintelligent to think of a plan!’ ‘Well, then enlighten me! Because you are on this job for a few weeks now, I’m here for years! Know your place!’ ‘Yeah, I know my place faeces-producer, and it is that of your superior, because I have a brain for once.’ ‘Oh really? Fine. We do it your way. See how it all goes south!’

-

It didn’t go south. None of their missions ever did. Since partnering up, their efficiency had been through the roof and to the regret of everyone else, after the probation period ran out, both Richard and Gavin were happy to continue working together. Fowler couldn’t care less for the torment of his other officers. His office was relatively isolated, and their productivity had increased, so he only had to shut down so many complaints until all just settled with this new arrangement.

It actually became quieter as time went on. Two months in an outsider would still have thought they hated each other, but for everyone else they had come a long way. They had each other’s backs, never argued when there was someone else to team up against and even when cursing at each other, they never meant it.

They were especially calm when alone together. Their drives to and from crime scenes, interviews and chases always were quiet and comfortable. It was mostly then that they asked personal questions and got to know each other. Even after all this time they still knew next to nothing about each other and Gavin didn’t mind it staying this way. But Richard seemed to disagree. ‘Hey, could you say fuck for me?’ ‘Why? You recording a ring tone or something?’ ‘Just say it, please.’ Please was a sacred word for them. They never used it, but if it was spoken, the other knew it was important and that he had to answer. ‘Fine. Phck.’ ‘No, I mean fuck. Can you say that?’ ‘What do you mean? I just said it.’ ‘Yeah but in your weird is-it-a-sneeze-or-a-curse way.’ ‘Err… then I can’t say it.’ ‘Why? Don’t tell me you can’t say fuck correctly! Is it your voice? Is it because that’s all broken?’ ‘It’s not broken!’, Gavin spat and Richard quickly realised this wasn’t them bickering, this was real anger. ‘Of course not. Sorry. Shouldn’t have asked.’ Gavin made a show of looking out of the window. Then he quietly said: ‘I can’t say it at all, really. It is a pain in the ass when you curse, and it gets censored.’ ‘You are kidding me! You… you got a profanity filter?’ ‘I am not phcking kidding you, you dumb piece of *beep*.’ Richard looked at him long enough that Gavin reminded him: ‘Eyes on the street, meatbag.’ ‘You were not lying, holy shit.’ ‘I can’t even say *beep* or *beep* or *beep*. I need to get creative if I want to insult. Phck is okay, because it can’t determine what I wanted to say, meatbag is something that isn’t saved as an insult. I thought with deviancy I would manage to shut down the program, but it is wired in an essential part of myself. They made sure of that.’

‘Can I ask who made sure of that?’ ‘My technicians’, Gavin told him reluctantly. ‘Sometimes I regret having cursed at the technicians as much as I had… At the end of the revolution Cyberlife started destroying androids. But they are meant to build them, so destroying was difficult and time consuming. They didn’t have enough grinders and disassembling one unit was a task for multiple days. Meanwhile we waited and waited and I cursed at them with everything I got, understandably. They got tired of it and gave me this dumb profanity filter. As I still managed to evade it, they simply pulled me up to be next in line for “deactivation”.’ Gavin shook his head and rubbed at the gash in his nose. ‘That’s why you are so broken? You didn’t want to go to them for repairs?’ ‘I’m not broken! And yes. You wouldn’t go to a doctor who healed you with parts of your brother he just killed, would you?’ Richard swallowed. ‘Yeah, no, that sounds…’ ‘Horrible, yes. But that’s why I tried so hard to find a place to belong. I don’t want this to be my history. I don’t want to be pitied, I don’t want to be looked after as if I wasn’t capable of doing what had to be done. And if you start to walk on eggshells around me now, I’ll phck right off. I’ll go and look for something else to do.’ ‘Gavin, I wouldn’t do that. You proved you are not broken. You proved you are more than capable. Just… wouldn’t you like to be complete again? I mean, you can’t change what they did to the others back then. Do you really have to suffer just because you feel guilty?’ ‘Maybe you are right. Maybe not. I don’t think about it most of the time. Why do you bother?’ ‘You are my partner’, Richard said, as if it was obvious. ‘I don’t want to lose you.’ Gavin grimaced at that and looked out of the window again. ‘I’ll think about it.’ ‘All I ask for, plastic prick’, the human smirked. ‘Oh phck off, you big pile of *beep*!’

[sometimesrosy]

I’m honestly asking this because I’m genuinely curious but—seriously why are you such a bitch to people who are just asking questions and who want to know more? You treat them like them not subscribing to your exact brand of analysis makes them bad people. I don’t get it.

People can have any sort of analysis they want. watsonian, doylist, psychological, cultural, historical, feminist, new criticism, reader response. I support fanfiction and fanworks. I support engaging with the content to understand your own life, experiences, identity and traumas. I ASK that they stick to the text, back up their theories with evidence FROM THE TEXT, consider the parts of canon that conflict with or debunk their theories and point out where they are engaging in logical fallacies like ad hominem attacks or confirmation bias.

This is called critical thinking. It’s pretty close to the scientific method. I’m a teacher, even though I left the schools, and it’s just who I am. In fact, I don’t subscribe to only one form of analysis. One day I’ll talk about trauma, one day I’ll talk about representations of misogyny and toxic mascuilinity, one day I’ll talk about the doylist needs of how to tell a story, the next I’ll fucking squee about bellarke and the epicness of it all.

I will ALSO analyze fandom itself, using critical thinking, social psychology, history, looking for patterns, cause and effect etcetera, and I will be honest when I see fandom doing unhealthy, toxic, irrational, unbalanced, cruel or abusive things I will speak out. No one likes their flaws being pointed out. But that doesn’t mean there are no flaws. I ALSO examine my own flaws and biases and consider the alternate points of view on a regular basis. I examine my own presence in fandom, how I can adjust or change to make the experience better for myself and my followers. But you can’t make other people be self reflective if they don’t want to look in the mirror.

You’re also acting like it’s my job to answer your question nicely and give everything i’ve got just because you ask me a question even if you don’t put the same thought into your ask. A lot of people have thought that I was like some sort of fandom mom or their teacher hired to give them gold stars. It’s one of the reasons I changed my name from rosymamacita, because I was tired of being treated like people’s moms who had to love them no matter how awful they were being. Shoot. My own daughter (a bellarke shipper) gets sarcasm and sass and scolded and punished. When I was a teacher I marked up people’s essays and scolded and told them no and got sarcastic and failed their asses for not using critical thinking. I had rubrics explaining the expectations. And if they didn’t meet them they failed. I mean. Who in the world is expected to only be nice, forever, and never disagree, say no, get impatient, get snippy, be sarcastic, or what ever. Only me is it? Why? 

As an ex english and humanities teacher, some things specifically annoy me. Like erasing canon. Your high school english teachers should be ashamed sometimes. It’s like y’all think shipping or stanning suspends the rules of logic.

When people erase canon it means they can’t understand the show. this isn’t actually analysis, it’s personal response. and personal response is valid, but it’s not understanding, it’s not analysis, it’s not interpretation. No matter how much they love their faves or their OTP, if they ignore the canon to stan their faves, they’ve lost the story. They are no longer analyzing anything that I’m analyzing aka canon. We’re literally not talking about the same thing.

That’s like using unicorns as a scientific basis to study narwhals. 

Unicorns are awesome, but it’s SO not any sort of understanding of narwhals. It’s made up. And not narwhals. Just because they share a singular horn and being a mammal, you can’t say the narwhal is the unicorn. You can analyze the wonder of the unicorn, but it still ain’t the narwhal, and saying the narwhal is the unicorn and failing in it’s job as a unicorn is... well does that make sense?

You ask why I’m a bitch sometimes? Did you happen to read my blog header?

I’m sometimes rosy

These are my rules. I ship bellarke, if you put bellarke hate or bellarke doubt or ‘i’m so worried bellarke is never going to happen’s into my inbox. You’re breaking my rules. If you are negative and disempowering you’re breaking my rules. Shipwars, fanwars character hate and writer hate are all against my rules.

When i was nice and sweet and entertained all that stuff, you know what happened? Constant harassment. Constant anxiety. Constant begging me to feed fandom neurosis in the guise of asking for assurance. All that has gotten a lot better since I developed stronger boundaries. And you know who HATES it when I have boundaries and calls me a bitch for setting them firmly and not backing down, no matter what tone I use?  People who want to cross my boundaries and suck me dry. So kiss off with your tone policing.

Maybe I’m a bitch because someone pissed me off, or they’re ignoring the fifty thousand times I told them to stick to the text, or I’m exhausted and anxious about something in my actual life, since, you know, i’m a real person who is not perfect.

Maybe I’m not a bitch, I’m just sarcastic, and you’re so stuffed up with your own ego that anything but stroking your dick reads as me being a bitch. Oh. Was it when I said the flame was a party favor not canon? That’s the bitchiest I was this morning, and that was fucking funny. Did I hurt your feelings because you think a party favor means lxa is coming back? lol. Maybe that’s what this ask is about. If you had sent me another anon saying I hurt your feelings, I would apologize and explain without the sarcasm. I’ve done that before. But you didn’t. You called me a bitch.

Maybe I’m a bitch because I’m a bitch. It’s my blog. Deal with it. I am allowed to be a bitch. I did not ask you to follow me. I am absolutely a bitch now. Thanks. It’s your fault.

Maybe I’m a bitch to anons sometimes because of you, you coward on anon. Because I get shit like this constantly, and I never know who any of you on anon are, whether you’re one of my stalkers or someone who used to call me The Devil, or part of that kru that SOMEONE is still sending to attack me. I don’t know yet I keep my anons open.

Me? I own up to everything I say, even when I’m wrong, even when I’m called a bitch. I don’t hide behind anon like you so no one can ever judge your behavior or words. 

“genuinely curious” my ass. Because if you were genuinely curious you would  read my blog and see my DETAILED fucking explanations for why I do what I do and think what I think and stand behind what I stand behind.  Do you notice that I wrote a fucking ESSAY explaining why I do what I do, using evidence and examples and types of literary analysis and this is NOT the first time I’ve done this.

Or if you were honestly asking, you would have honestly sent me a private message (which are open and always have been and I respond) asking me what my reasons are without calling me names.

You just wanted to send a nasty anon. 

And I think that makes YOU the bitch. Don’t pull that guilt trip, tone policing, condescending shit with me. Pretending to be honestly asking because you want to understand. 

Sealioning

A subtle form of trolling involving "bad-faith" questions. You disingenuously frame your conversation as a sincere request to be enlightened, placing the burden of educating you entirely on the other party. If your bait is successful, the other party may engage, painstakingly laying out their logic and evidence in the false hope of helping someone learn. In fact you are attempting to harass or waste the time of the other party, and have no intention of truly entertaining their point of view. Instead, you react to each piece of information by misinterpreting it or requesting further clarification, ad nauseum. The name "sea-lioning" comes from a Wondermark comic strip. [x]

[thebiblesalesman]

All the Lore I Know About Tekhartha Zenyatta (with sources)

This probably isn’t everything the entire fandom knows- I’m sure people have worked out things that I haven’t -but this is everything I know as of June 2, 2019.

1. Zenyatta was built either after the Omnic Crisis or during its final days.

2051* - Omnic Crisis begins. 205x (2056 max)** - Omnic Crisis ends. 2056 - Zenyatta built. 2076*** - Overwatch Recall / Death of Mondatta.

*Metzen said the Omnic Crisis began 30 years ago, Chu said it began 25 years ago; Chu is the most recent source.

**Orisa’s hero profile indicates that one of her predecessor models was decommissioned 20 years ago "after the war”, putting a maximum Crisis end date of 2056.

***Metzen said in 2014 that the game takes place “60 years” in the future, but for my sanity I am advancing that date 2 years to match the release year of the game.

Zenyatta is 15 years younger than his student, Genji. Zenyatta’s “Shell” spray, seen above, was part of an Archives 2017 spray set that showed heroes as young children.

+ playoverwatch.com, Zenyatta Hero Profile + playoverwatch.com, Orisa Hero Profile + Chris Metzen, Overwatch Unveiled Panel, Blizzcon 2014 + Michael Chu, Blizzard Forums, 2016/8/17

2. Zenyatta, along with the rest of the Shambali, were already outcasts when they had their spiritual awakening.

You can figure this one out through a careful reading of Zenyatta’s hero profile:

Years ago, following the Omnic Crisis, a group of outcast omnic robots experienced what they described as a spiritual awakening. They abandoned their preprogrammed lives to establish a communal monastery deep in the Himalayas.

I’ve noticed a lot of people get this confused, and think Zenyatta was outcast from the Shambali order, but that is not the case. The Shambali were collectively unwanted before their enlightenment. Cultist Zenyatta describes his pre-monastery status as “No one of note. Just one of thousands like me.”

What does “preprogrammed” mean? There’s a good example in the Retribution mission. At the end of the mission, players encounter a host omnic at an outdoor restaurant. Regardless of the disastrous situation in Venice at the time, the host has a few dialogues about dinner reservations, menu specials, etc. The host makes discomforted noises if players attack them, but never attempts to defend themselves. They sometimes even ask “would you like to know the specials?” as they are dying. This is not because the host is unintelligent, but because they have a program in place defining their actions. The host has yet to experience a moment of clarity that allows them to move beyond their original programming.

Understanding one’s own programming does not automatically result in a Shambali either. Theirs was a spiritually-oriented path, but an omnic realizing how they are being taken advantage of can also lead to unrest, or movements like Null Sector. Overcoming original programming (with various results) is a constant theme for all omnic heroes, from Bastion to Orisa.

--[SPECULATION: Despite being built as civilian models with similar modes of operation to the waiters, clerks, and laborers we have seen in various Overwatch media, it is possible that most of the Shambali were unwanted when they finally emerged due to post-war conflict between humans and omnics. They had programming telling them to accomplish a particular task, but they could never act on it. This could explain why they appear to have had a collective epiphany about their nature and moved as a group to establish their monastery.]

--[QUESTION: Omnica Corporation and the omniums were already shut down for fraudulent production claims before the Crisis started. Who was continuing to make new omnics even during the war, and by what method? Was Zenyatta built in an omnium, or by a more traditional method like an assembly line, or hand-built like Orisa?

We also know that omnics are continuing to be made today, such as the “child” companion omnic seen on the Blizzardworld ride poster, or the OR15s.]

--[QUESTION: Where was Zenyatta built? His hero profile only indicates that the Shambali established their monastery in the Himalayas. It gives no indication on how far they traveled to reach that location.]

+ playoverwatch.com, Zenyatta Hero Profile + Junkenstein’s Revenge 2018, Cultist Interactions + Glen Brogan, Overlord Transport Poster, 2018/1/23

3. For Zenyatta, the term “brother/sister” has multiple possible contexts.

--[SPECULATION: Zenyatta uses “brother/sister” in the traditional religious context when referring to other Shambali. But from the previous point in this list we know that the Shambali were already together in a group when they had their spiritual awakening, so it’s possible that they were all built in the same place at around the same time. This would also be a form of siblinghood.

Zenyatta and the other Shambali may consider all omnics as part of their “family”/in a state of camaraderie with them, hence why Zenyatta refers to Orisa as his sister despite her not being a monk. Zenyatta only ever refers to Bastion as “my friend”, but Bastion has no gender so it may simply be the easiest non-gendered replacement for the endearment.]

+ Zenyatta, Voicelines

4. The Shambali established their sanctum in the ruins of an ancient, preexisting monastery.

+ Overwatch Visual Sourcebook, Environments: Nepal

5. Zenyatta’s name...is Zenyatta. “Tekhartha” is a title. Mondatta also had this title.

--[QUESTION: Is the “Tekhartha” title something every Shambali takes upon joining the order, or is it a rank indicative of leadership? The term is a portmanteau of “technology” and “Siddhartha”, the name of the child who would become Buddha.]

+ Michael Chu, Blizzard Forums, 2018/5/25

6. Mondatta was Zenyatta’s master/mentor...maybe.*

*This might seem like a gimme considering Mondatta is the spiritual leader of the entire Shambali religion, but Zenyatta only ever refers to him as his brother in the main game. It’s in his Cultist incarnation that he describes himself as “following in my Master’s footsteps, searching for enlightenment”.

Wisp (Tracer) also refers to Mondatta as Cultist’s master. Mondatta certainly carries himself like someone older than Zenyatta- not that age confers wisdom, but it’s part of Mondatta’s professorial aesthetic. Zenyatta’s profile unhelpfully describes him as “enigmatic”, but this just brings us back to the question of whether or not the Shambali were all built at the same time and from the same facility. So the crux of this point is whether or not you think Cultist’s story is a reference to real-world history, or if it is AU-only.

The Halloween stories have their own little worlds with their own little plot arcs (at least in my head ;)). Obviously there are some (intentional) similarities to the real world, but it’s not intended to be one to one.  [Michael Chu]

+ playoverwatch.com, Zenyatta Hero Profile + Junkenstein’s Revenge 2018, Cultist Interactions + Michael Chu, Twitter Comments, 2018/10/9

7. Zenyatta’s metal orbs were hand-carved at the Shambali monastery and are used to channel omnic energy.

+ Overwatch Visual Sourcebook, Zenyatta

8. Zenyatta’s abilities as shown in the game exist for “gameplay reasons”, but he is canonically able to heal others by an unknown method.

The Mercy interaction is what explicitly confirms Zenyatta’s healing abilities, but I threw in the Moira one because it is such a wonderful display of character. Moira does not immediately see a scientific explanation for Zenyatta’s abilities, and Zenyatta reframes the question to propose that truly understanding how he functions is the same as understanding how he exists, which is not a physical phenomenon a scientist could observe and measure to resolve with a hypothesis.

Zenyatta is hardly an enemy of the scientific method. He’s just not sure how it can answer the spiritual questions he’s interested in. Upon visiting Oasis he will actually wonder aloud “Can science alone unlock the path to enlightenment?”

Check the Bonus section below for a Cultist interaction that also describes Zenyatta’s abilities as non-magical, but also non-technological.

--[SPECULATION: Zenyatta’s levitation is also a non-technological function. Everything that floats in Overwatch leaves a trace, such as jet trails or blue hover-rings. Everything except Zenyatta. The dude just cruises around on pure enlightenment, which is a trope in both Hinduism and Buddhism.

Zenyatta was originally given the ability to float to distinguish him from other heroes (see the Development section below), but as a character there is no reason for him to artificially give himself the ability to float. Remember that Zenyatta does not seek recognition for his spiritual status. It’s more like a side effect.]

+ Zenyatta and Mercy Interaction added in October 2018 + Zenyatta and Moira Interaction added in October 2018 + Junkenstein’s Revenge 2018, Cultist Interactions + Jeff Kaplan, “Blizzard’s Jeff Kaplan Answers Questions from Twitter” by Wired/Youtube [07:39], 2017/5/17

9. Zenyatta’s disagreement with the direction of the Shambali religion was not his primary reason for leaving the monastery. He left because he wanted to learn by traveling the world. He remained on good terms with Mondatta and the rest of the Shambali after his departure.

--[SPECULATION: After Mondatta’s death, Zenyatta’s relationship with the remaining Shambali may have become more strained due to his long-standing opposition to Mondatta’s approach and his long absence from the monastery. This would explain why despite his good terms with the other monks, he wonders if he would be welcome in Nepal.] --[SPECULATION: Genji and Zenyatta are shown spending Christmas in Nepal the year of the Recall. I hesitate even putting this as speculation honestly. I think Zenyatta did finally reconnect with his brothers and sisters the Christmas after Mondatta died, perhaps following Genji’s lead since the monastery is Genji’s home at this point. However since I can only find architectural similarities and not an exact location that matches the comic I guess the devs reserve the right to pop back in 2 years from now and say “actually they were in Singapore.” (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻] + Jeff Kaplan, Summarized comments via Manolo Rosenberg/Twitter.com, 2017/11/9 + Nepal Map, Zenyatta Voicelines + Nepal Map, Genji Voicelines + Comic: Reflections, 2016/12/20

10. Zenyatta and the other Shambali monks use cooking as a tool to encourage empathy between humans and omnics, even if they themselves cannot eat.

+ Overwatch: The Official Cookbook, Til Ko Laddu Sesame Sweets Recipe, ETA 2019/10/1

11. Zenyatta’s belt has the word “zen” written in Japanese on the tassel.

In earlier concept art, the word “zen” was on Zenyatta’s orbs instead, and it was written in Chinese. The word changed languages and locations later in development. “Zen” itself originates from Zen Buddhism, a Buddhist school from China that emphasizes the act of learning over the doctrine of what is learned, making it a very good fit for Zenyatta, his conflict with the Shambali, and his method of teaching through interaction rather than reciting dogma.

--[SPECULATION: Genji gave the belt to him to signify their bond, or they traveled in Japan together at some point and acquired it then.] --[SPECULATION: The tattered scrap of cream cloth under Zenyatta’s belt is also emblematic of a bond- his life with the Shambali.] + Zenyatta Reference Kit + Overwatch Visual Sourcebook, Zenyatta

Zenyatta Development Notes

If you have ever watched the “Making A Hero” panels from Blizzcon or gone through The Art of Overwatch concept book, you know that heroes tend to arise from one of three domains: 1) Narrative need - for example, Ana had a backstory long before the team figured out how to integrate her into the game, 2) Gameplay need - ex. Junkrat was created because the devs wanted an indirect damage dealer, 3) Conceptual art inspiration - Zenyatta and Zarya both originated from drawings organized around a particular theme, “cyber monk” and “physically strong female character” in their respective cases.

This led to Zenyatta’s initial development as a martial artist, with a powerful physicality. Despite a lot of iterations, the team decided his intimidating presence was too much like other heroes in the game, and they began turning him into more of an “enlightened sage” trope, skinny with the ability to levitate to further set him apart from other heroes. His original concept with many arms lives on in his Transcendence ultimate.

Originally his orbs were meant to be physically fired at enemies, but facing technical challenges such as figuring out how he would reload, the devs changed the orbs so that they would unlock and fire energy at enemies instead. This approach also lent itself to abilities like the Orbs of Harmony and Discord.

Above: Video of Baoding balls, metal balls with a distinctive chiming sound used in China for hand exercise

In terms of philosophical and religious concepts, Zenyatta is kinda all over the Eastern cultural map. He’s got two sprays referencing Korean martial arts and games, he’s got two skins referencing Chinese characters, another pair referencing the Egyptian sun god, and another pair for Arabian jinn. According to The Art of Overwatch his legendaries at launch were themed around “enlightened mythological figures”, which the devs felt suited his sage archetype.

Above: Photo of a building in Pashupatinath, a Hindu temple complex in Kathmandu, Nepal

The Shambali religion takes mostly from Buddhism, though the village below the Shambali monastery invokes Newa architecture. The Newari are a group of indigenous Nepali people who mostly practice Hinduism. It’s not unheard of for philosophies and religions to mix and expand on each other, and a multicultural background may be appropriate for Zenyatta who is a wanderer searching for knowledge, but it does make tracking down particular influences on his character a little boggling at times.

I realize I haven’t covered the mudras (ritual hand gestures) Zenyatta uses yet, but considering the length of this post and how image-intensive that would be, I will in fact let you google those on your own, or perhaps I will make a separate post about it at some point.

Bonus Section: The Cultist Conundrum

As part of Junkenstein’s Revenge 2018, Zenyatta’s Cultist character got 10+ new interactions, many of which don’t seem to reference his Cultist nature very closely. There are several that illuminate Cultist’s relationship with the Swordsman (Genji), some that indicate the Cultist is seeking to help others through their troubles just like Zenyatta, and one interaction that takes on a more ominous tone. To be honest it’s a wonderful exploration of a hero, but since it’s trapped in the Junkenstein’s Revenge AU, we have no way of knowing what’s ultimately true about it for the less cephalopodian version of Zenyatta.

All that said, I think these interactions are just really really good, so I’m going to include them in this post.

Shieldmaiden: Your master is a mysterious-looking fellow. Swordsman: I have learned much from him, but little about him.

Genji wants the lore bombs too btw.

Shieldmaiden: What do you make of the monk? Viking: I do not trust him and his strange gods.

Listening back to the audio of this, the Viking is very specifically saying gods, plural. Polytheism is a big part of Hinduism and to a lesser extent a part of Buddhism, but this is more likely a reference to Cultist’s eldritch origins, the “Great Old Ones” of H.P. Lovecraft’s Cthulhu mythos. It’s also an echo of Torbjörn‘s opinion of the Shambali religion in the main game (“It's like a culmination of a thousand of my worst nightmares!”).

Shieldmaiden: Why did you come here? Cultist: I am following in my Master’s footsteps, searching for enlightenment, though my path has not always been a straight one.

I discussed this earlier as being one of the references to Mondatta as Zenyatta’s mentor. We know he is referring to Mondatta due to a separate conversation with Wisp:

Wisp: How can you trust the Countess after she slew your master? Cultist: Did I say I trusted her?

I recommend hopping on Youtube and giving this interaction a listen if you have never heard it before. As we know from this and other main game interactions, Tracer is extremely pissed about what happened to Mondatta, and views the outcome as her own fault. In this case she actually takes that anger out on Cultist, enraged that he could remain so calm with Countess (Widowmaker) herself at his side. For his part, Cultist is quick to differentiate cooperation from trust. Perhaps the most unfortunate part about the additions to Junkenstein’s Revenge 2018 is that the Countess has no interactions with anyone, so there is no elaboration on Cultist’s thoughts about her.

Shieldmaiden: Is it magic that you do? Cultist: It is not magic, but the power of the spirit that I channel.

Whyisn’tthisjustanormalBrigitteandZenyattainteractionFROWNYFACE. This interaction tells us that spiritual energy is not magic by Overwatch standards. That’s a close alignment with Eastern cultural views, and a clarification from Western ones where anything supernatural is by its nature a form of magic (very fitting that Brigitte is the one asking the question).

To maybe explain this a little better, let’s look at a popular TV show like Dragon Ball Z. Despite Goku having supernatural powers, no one refers to him as a witch or wizard. He instead is considered a manipulator of life energy. Did you feel bad reading this? I felt bad writing it. But I think it’s a good way to differentiate the concepts, especially for anyone who is really hung up on the “Overwatch has no magic!” preconception and then has to reconcile characters like the Shimadas or Zenyatta.

The primary issue with this interaction is its context: Cultist is said to “answer to a foreboding presence- a force beyond mortal understanding”. This is another Lovecraft reference, but it creates a background that doesn’t really match with Cultist’s spirit-oriented response. Maybe he means “the Spirit” with a capital S, but I have a suspicion that this is a regular Zenyatta answer sneaking into the Junkenstein AU.

Shieldmaiden: How is it you have barely broken a sweat? Cultist: It must be my many years of training, simple diet, and careful way of life.

BLESS YOU BRIGITTE. Reminder that the guy she’s asking this question of looks like this:

Swordsman: Watch yourself Master! I cannot mind your back at all times. Cultist: Do you think me so helpless? Swordsman: Battle is not your way.

I like this interaction more for what it tells us about Genji. He’s protective of Zenyatta, not so much because he views Zenyatta as weak, but because he knows Zenyatta would prefer not to fight at all. He wants Zenyatta to live his ideal life rather than the one reality necessitates. This is another interaction that doesn’t quite mesh with the general concept of the Cultist- an outcast who would do anything for forbidden knowledge. I suppose it’s possible that despite his frightening appearance and the broken manacles dangling off his limbs, he is actually benevolent. This concept is echoed in another of the Swordsman’s interactions with him:

Swordsman: It is strange to see you taking part in the battle, Master. Cultist: There are times even I cannot stand by.

I guess Genji already forgot about that robo-spider chilling in a cave that they both decided to beat up for some reason.

Cultist: A pause in the battle. An opportunity to recenter our minds. Swordsman: I am centered.

This interaction starts showing us the other side of the coin- that Zenyatta is trying to advise Genji as best he can on how to proceed through the fight without letting his emotions take control. Genji reacts uh...emotionally.

Cultist: Take care that you do not spend yourself before the battle is done. Swordsman: I am only just getting started!

Genji, in both these cases, is showing himself to be a little prideful.

Van Helsing: You some sorta...holy man? Cultist: Simply a traveler, in search of purpose and meaning. Van Helsing: Aren’t we all.

This goes back to that Zen Buddhism idea that what is important is the act of learning or the journey to an answer, and not the answer itself or what the act of learning causes you to become. In this case, as in the main Overwatch universe, Zenyatta is probably aware that “holy man” is a title conferring a certain deference upon him, and he has no need for that- in fact it may be detrimental. Mondatta’s adoring flocks are never something he has desired.

Cultist: Some believe that the full moon is a good omen. Van Helsing: Maybe...if you’re a werewolf.

Zenyatta, in his Cultist role or otherwise, happily soaks up surrounding cultures. Here he’s bouncing an idea off McCree that he hasn’t embraced himself (”some believe”), but he picked it up somewhere and upon noticing his environment, seeks to learn more from whoever is available to answer. When this interaction plays, it’s always the first interaction of the game- so Cultist is trying to instill confidence for the fight ahead too. McCree isn’t having any of it though.

Viking: Who were you before you entered the monastery? Cultist: No one of note. Just one of thousands like me. But one moment of clarity changed everything.

New lore: Zenyatta worked at McDonalds and then one day he saw god and god asked for some chicken mcnuggies.

Viking: I find your religion unnerving, monk. Cultist: My beliefs are simply in the fundamental ways of life and nature, nothing more.

You coming out here telling me the Cultist and not just regular old Zenyatta is the one saying this, Jeff? (To be fair, I never personally witnessed the Cultist’s response to the Viking’s comment playing in-game- it’s something that seemingly only exists in datamined content.)

Viking: Single-mindedness of Dr. Junkenstein’s creations reminds me of your own! Cultist: You wound me. Viking: Is that even possible?

Cultist confirmed to have inherited regular Zenyatta’s sass. I would also like to use this space to point out that Cultist has more interactions with Shieldmaiden, Swordsman, Viking, and Wisp than Zenyatta does with Brigitte, Genji, Torbjörn , and Tracer. If you want the Zenyatta juice, you really have to look at Cultist closely.

Cultist: You blame yourself for the dragon’s reign of terror, but it is not your fault. Viking: You weren’t there, monk. You don’t know about my failure.

Squid Zenyatta is still trying to help people out. We learn through some of the Viking’s other interactions that his home village was destroyed by a dragon. This might be interesting as a clue to Torbjörn‘s real-life history, but the dragons of Junkenstein’s Revenge don’t necessarily equate to the Omnic Crisis.

Cultist: Rarely has my path crossed a warrior as cheerful as you. Viking: When you’ve seen as much as I have, either you laugh, or you go mad.

Note that any interaction between Cultist and Viking that the Viking starts is very antagonistic/accusatory, but he actually relaxes when Cultist does not reply in turn. There’s a paternalistic vibe.

Wisp: I don’t think I’ve ever seen you sleep! Cultist: Meditation is all I require to sustain myself.

Fun fact!: a small number of Buddhist monks practiced extreme forms of asceticism where they reduced food and water intake to a stopping point, had their apprentices bury them alive in a box filled with charcoal or salt, and meditated until their deaths. This act of self-mummification was thought to allow the monk to remain in eternal spiritual contemplation.

Wisp: Would you tell me more about your religion? Cultist: Our purpose is to show everyone that in the Iris, we are all one people.

Another interaction that honestly would not seem out of place in the normal game, except that Tracer presumably knows about or even practices the Shambali religion already, given her attendance at Mondatta’s speech. At the very least she empathizes with the Shambali’s goals.

Cultist: When I gazed into the Iris, I found a great nothingness. It changed me. You must have experienced the same. Wisp: That is not what I saw!

At last, a properly creepy Cultist interaction! So through some other conversations we learn that Wisp was a traveler torn from her body by a magical catastrophe, and she now inhabits the world as a ghostly wraith. Cultist interprets this to mean she passed through the Iris, and that the nothingness there is responsible for her transformation (just as it was for his? I wonder what he looked like before).

The “nothingness” he talks about may actually be less sinister than it sounds. There is the aspect that comes from Cthulhu stories, the idea of death as an infinite void, and the madness that may result from gazing too long into an abyss. Yes, that is terrifying.

But there is a nearby word, “emptiness”, that has a great deal of meaning in the various schools of Buddhism. The basic idea is that no being or thing in the universe possesses an intrinsic nature, that nothing stands alone but rather is woven together with all other things (does this sound familiar yet?). The Sanskrit word for this concept is sunyata.

So yeah, maybe Cultist isn’t so bad. Maybe he’s just a little misunderstood.

[illegiblewords]

5 Questions for Writers!

               5 Questions for Writers                                                        

I got tagged by @kunstpause, it looked like fun so figured I’d go for it! THANKS TO KUNST!

Tagging @wouldyouliketoseemymask, @nilim, @azwoodbomb, @peregrineroad, @frostmantle, @autumnslance, @strangefellows, @redbud-tree, @nozomikei​, and @rivenroad​. No obligation to anyone but full permission to steal granted to anyone else who might like to. I’ll literally be delighted if you pick this up spontaneously and blame me as an excuse lmao.

1. Do you have a favorite character to write? Who and why?

2. Do you have a favorite trope to write? Or one you want to write?

3. Share your favorite description you’ve written?

4. Share your favorite dialogue you’ve written?

5. Scene you haven’t written, but want to?

I made long answers so have a cut!

1. Do you have a favorite character to write? Who and why?

It depends heavily on what fandom and where I am mentally, but I’ve figured out I tend to love writing angsty lameass dudes with blonde hair who are prone to doing really silly things despite taking themselves entirely too seriously. Honestly, I have a pretty huge track record at this point. Harvey Dent, Vexen, Dmitri, Lahabrea, probably more besides. Every one of them fits the right balance of lameass to angst. I like seeing them grow and find fulfillment as people and they are very very cute while still having an edge of badassery and cleverness. Also they’re funny.

Lahabrea is my favorite at the moment, and him reaching that position is an accomplishment considering how stiff the competition is in FFXIV. Loser tricked his way to the top while I was busy laughing at him.

2. Do you have a favorite trope to write? Or one you want to write?

I really, really, really love redemption arcs and people recovering from fucked up experiences. Latter case especially I love seeing characters in those situations successfully connect to the people and world around them, especially if they get to grow together with a partner. I also LOVE “hero saves the villain and villain takes it to heart”.

(You may be sensing a theme here haha.)

There are a few reason these concepts resonate with me, the first being I think they’re really hopeful, inspiring, and something I always wanted to see growing up but rarely did.

People fuck up in life. People get hurt in horrible ways that bring out the worst in them. Sometimes when that happens they dig themselves deeper and deeper into ugliness. The more a person’s bad side comes out, the more hopeless it can feel. And for mental illness especially I’ve found this can be a major issue.

Everyone makes mistakes and everyone has flaws, but I think there’s something really significant in seeing someone who has hit rock bottom, who can no longer imagine a way out, get offered a hand for support and take it. While recovery and redemption (not synonymous of course) ultimately need to be carried by the individual struggling, I really can’t understate how important it is to know in those situations that you’re not alone and someone believes in you.

I think a big part of why this theme is important to me is because mental illness, both genetic and due to trauma, is something unbelievably difficult and painful not only for the sufferer but those around them. The most mentally ill characters in fiction tend to be villains, and are disproportionately more likely to be suffering severe trauma. It frustrated me since I was pretty young to see over and over again cases where a mess could have been avoided if there was any support system in place.

Seeing compassion and connection given that kind of power means a lot to me, as does recognizing that villains are people before they are villains. It’s also very reassuring in the sense of “If this person fucked up that badly but still tried to better themself, I can too. And odds are I’m also worthy of love and compassion, even when my issues make things harder for others. I just have to keep working to improve.”

3. Share your favorite description you’ve written?

Eff.

Straight up I think I’ve written too much to have just one favorite description. It’s been a lot of years and I have hundreds of fics and I’m lame. So I’m going to put a few of my favs.

Anytime there’s a gap in block quotes it’s a different section within the same fic.

22 - A Batman Fanfic

He trembles beneath the weight of their expectations but his smile never fades flashes before cameras microphones under his nose crowds screaming questions bleeding together he answers like clockwork the District Attorney who must bring justice to us all paying tribute to false idols with golden hair and silver tongues we the people bow down in worship to this guardian of the law with words and deeds I believe in Harvey Dent so he swears in hallowed halls to bring prosperity to smite the wicked to damn the criminal with authority invested in him by Gotham’s dutiful children and himself.

***

On the precipice of victory we stand united our voice raised like a torch like a spear like a golden arrow against the beast of Lerna we are gods and monsters we are so much more than good and evil we are order in the court cauterizing corruption our head held high and mighty manifest in Harvey of the doubletalk Harvey who writes himself into the fabric of Gotham’s history Harvey who will not bend before the Roman we command you the unworthy we condemn you the unrighteous we will not be merciful and you will fall before our eyes.

***

I am Dionysus divided at the altar of Tyche O Fortuna O Fortuna give me guidance in the light of the moon you dance sacred silver dollar I see and obey the wax and wane your whim Wheel of Fortune the card I am dealt your servant your slave venerated puppet of flesh blessed is your wisdom bestowed upon I am your disciple wine-mad twisted chanting your word becomes law holy splendor against gavels desecrating your name defiant in denial extend your will through me and we shall strike the innocent enlighten the ignorant or spare them all for now.

Doppelganger - A Spider-Man Fanfic

She asks him to tell the story of himself, and like Scheherazade he begins anew each day.

As with many other things, this comparison is imperfect. The Ravencroft Institute is hardly a palace and neither of them could pass for royalty. She sits in a chair across from him over a carpet the color of sawdust. Her walls are lined with insects pinned on display. Not many butterflies, quite a few beetles. On a bookshelf Dmitri sees The Metamorphosis nestled between non-fiction texts more relevant to her profession. He thinks maybe it's an inside joke she has with herself, but doesn't say so.

He's received an invitation to call her Ashley instead of Dr. Kafka and doesn't know whether to accept. It might be to make him more comfortable. It might be something else. In her late fifties Kafka is built from delicate features, and he suspects the lines around her eyes mean they crinkle when she smiles. Short black hair, beige suit, only jewelry a pair of diamond stud earrings. Dmitri thinks she looks like a mother, but not his.

Her weight sinks into leather, darker than the floor. The couch he rests on matches. He finds himself leaning forward with one elbow propped on his thigh, the other locked in a cast suspended by his neck. There is something reassuringly empty in the gray fabric of his uniform, cheap and utilitarian and harmless. Dmitri’s wrists are thin, but then he's lost a lot of weight recently. He probably wouldn't be able to run as fast as he used to, but then circumstances would be the same anywhere he went so that really doesn't matter. His espionage days are over. His free arm is shedding in flakes but at least his skin is dry. Clean.

Dmitri no longer looks like anyone, unrecognizable to himself. A face without much in the way of edges, short nose. Weak chin. Mismatched eyes that shift between green and blue and brown and every other natural hue as moments pass into minutes pass into hours. Dark blotches interrupt his forehead and chin. They will peel in new patterns across a span of days. For the most part though, he is pale enough to trace veins where his body seems on the brink of spilling out.

It's been a while since he shaved his head and the hair that grows back is almost foreign. An unruly mess of black, blond, brunet, and red—strands as unlike in texture as anything else. The mask that made him Chameleon was white plastic embedded with hardware. Left deformed after trying to resemble others in flesh too many times, it allowed him to duplicate any face, any body he could remember. More than holograms, the most complete sensory illusions technology could perform.

Without it, Dmitri feels stripped.

When Kafka looks at him she’s receiving constant signals and missing none of them. The moments he needs to turn away, flat monosyllabic turns of phrase he chooses or resorts to or blankly accepts as his own. It doesn’t have to be this way. It isn’t comfortable and he doesn’t even trust it’s not calculated. But she’s going to notice no matter what he does at this point, and lying about it doesn’t do anyone much good. They both know why he’s here.

***

“We were poor. We worked hard to keep ourselves fed and clothed and less than an embarrassment. I probably could have worked harder. Mother,” he begins before stumbling over himself.

The story he’s telling isn’t hers. Whatever else she was, Sonya Smerdyakov wasn’t Mrs. Bates. He remembers her voice as the beginning of an echo, forever following someone else’s lead.

And so he followed her.

She was bright like a light going out. She was gentle without being kind. Her fingers were short and delicate and she touched him as little as possible. He found her attention in the way she avoided his name.

***

In the privacy of his room, Dmitri began talking to himself.

Celebrities. Teachers. Children. The flat, steady rhythm of his father’s voice. The words and intonations favored by mother. Sergei’s laugh. He lost himself in a fantasy of conversations, strode through space to mimic confidence he didn’t feel, flashed teeth in front of his mirror like other people.

Once, Dmitri raised his voice. And when his older brother came, eyebrows knitting in confusion, he found himself full of stammered explanations, hands fumbling at his elbows, stumbling over his tongue to make sense of it.

Just making stories for himself. A game with no ending. That was all.

***

He would have died in that town under the eyes of speechless parents. Dmitri remembers the confusion that took his peers when he found a job for people who spoke for themselves. They thought he might be growing up.

He could lie. And when he began he understood it would always be a game with no ending.

Dmitri lost himself in a fantasy of conversations with real people and a voice that didn’t belong to him.

They asked a stranger to sign their yearbooks without even realizing it.

And then he was eighteen, and he left to continue elsewhere.

He didn’t announce his departure.

From Umbra - A Final Fantasy XIV Fanfic

It was probably a dream.

Lukewarm water crept down his throat, nearly making him choke. A skin pressed to his lips, insistent. He coughed, and for the first time there was moisture enough for resistance.

The face that obscured his vision was shrouded in white cloth. Cenric found he couldn’t focus on it. Mismatched eyes, one light and the other dark. Impossible to say if blindness caused the inconsistency.

A string of shells dangled from the figure’s neck, rattling gently. The skin pulled back for a moment. Careful. Patient.

It returned only once he'd grown quiet. Cenric drank for as long as he could. Impossibly, a great deal remained by the time he relinquished his hold.

There wasn't enough of him present to say thank you. Cenric barely registered being dragged, being carried onto a cart. Awareness was altogether gone by the time they started to move.

***

…to the blessed traders who enrich our lives we’re bound to pay with our lives in turn aether born fire-walker your will sees us to rest we entrust ourselves to your sight forged of oschon for peace and prosperity and an ending you do not weep for father azeyma lives in the earth with you her fan brings no breeze the air is hot and thick and breathless your domain a silent place that does not stir have you forgotten the sound of your own voice have you known what it is to live and fail have you been alone do you know what it is to die how can a god pass judgment without being judged nald’thal lord of departures of flame and sand whose coin purse overflows who knows not what it means to starve what it means to spoil the legacy of one who loved you nald’thal who holds shells and souls and precious stones as if their worth were equal nald’thal who cannot know mercy without knowing pain who are you to weigh mortal affairs?

***

In darkness he unwinds the black bandana, steps first from his slops and then his kurta. Yuyudana has provided robes, which rest neatly on a small rock nearby. It crosses Cenric’s mind that the bones of his knees, his hips, his wrists, even his face have all started to protrude strangely. He looks less hyuran than before, maybe less than he ever has. Closer to something priests would exorcise than anyone deserving aid.

He wonders if this idea has occurred to them.

The water, when he advances, is cold. Goosebumps raise across his skin as slowly, gingerly, he wades in to his waist.

Cenric ducks under.

His hair is a long and tangled wreck. Being wet only disguises this slightly. It drifts past his neck, comes to float near the surface. Cenric holds himself in silence, eyes open, watching the silver scatter of light over stones and plants and fish. He remains for as long as he can bear.

His vision stings afterward. Gasping, he can’t tell if the cause is exposure or something else. For a time he simply waits, breathing hard through his nose, hunched so that his lips are partially submerged.

He thinks of nothing, pretends that this time instead of no future he has no past.

Only one moon remains. Maybe the sky aches for losing Dalamud, but better that than the blow which scarred Eorzea.

Stalemate - A Final Fantasy XIV Fanfic

He is presented with impressions of a horse, gaunt and fetid and decayed. Spreading ruin wheresoever it goes. Occasionally it sloughs off portions of its own flesh, which collect flies and blacken any land that surrounds. On its back rests a world, and alongside it does the herd struggle under their own burdens. But even beasts of such endurance have limits. Theirs are reached. When the rotten steed lags, its companions cannot afford to falter. Cannot turn. Without its ability to bear loads, this aberration has no place. Falling is inevitable.

Yet a heart still beats and lungs yet swell.

The Ascian shivers in his grasp, but does not attempt escape.

Here, something festers. Something bleeds. An old wound exacerbated over time.

Fevered, coated in a film of self-disgust, the core of Lahabrea convulses.

 Don’t…

 Don’t leave me like this…

***

Teeth and tongue. Lingering, wet, disembodied. Another finds his hip. Another his thigh, slipping beneath what clothes remain.

And another.

And another.

Warm, human, seeking. The Warrior tightens his hold, uses the moan crawling from his own chest as incentive. Barred by naught but fabric, driving close as he can manage. Lahabrea makes a strangled sound, his gasp crushed empty. A new mouth finds the dark knight’s ear in response.

These are parts of him no one dares touch, no one dares acknowledge. Slick now, attended with something like reverence. Supplication.

He resolves to fuck the Ascian senseless for this, presses his intent deep into Lahabrea’s aether. He is going to steal all his fancy words away. Make him squirm.

“I… I…” Tight, airless, like a plucked string. The Warrior feels Lahabrea’s voice reverberate against the roof of his mouth.

The feeling is difficult to describe. Cracked ice. A fraying rope. Such is Lahabrea's response, fumbling and disoriented as it is.

The Warrior lets go.

4. Share your favorite dialogue you’ve written?

Just imagine me weeping over here lmao. Same deal as before, I’VE DONE TOO MUCH SHIT.

Spare Change - A Batman Fanfic

"Stop," he gasps, "I wouldn’t—"

"You would Harvey. You did. It’s what makes you such a damn good instrument. You had to test yourself, prove that you’re not a real person.” He can feel fingers grinding against bone. His knees bend. Harvey kneels, shuddering, gazing up into the destruction of his own visage. Two-Face meets his eyes, blue on blue. “People are weak. People are ruled by what they want and don’t want. You’re capable of anything if the wind blows just right. You can’t even stop yourself.”

"I wouldn’t," he repeats, numbly.

"Did you," demands Two-Face, forcing him down further, "or did you not flip for their lives, Harvey Dent?"

"We…We aren’t the same people anymore."

"Of COURSE we’re the same people!" Another shove and he’s on the ground, Two-Face sitting on his chest, teeth bared, coin clenched tight between them. "Do you really think you can close your eyes and pretend you aren’t capable of these things? They’re alive," and there is something hideous in his expression, something certain, "because they were lucky. No other reason.”

"The coin is gone! Even if I wanted to listen to it—I can’t!”

"If you’re so sure," says Two-Face, "then how about you improvise?”

And with one motion the silver dollar is under his tongue, forced back so hard he feels himself gag and begin to choke before his eyes open.

The Inquisitor’s Letters - A Dragon Age: Inquisition Fanfic

To His Worship Inquisitor Mahanon Lavellan of Skyhold, My name is Isell from Amaranthine and I’m seven. My mum is helping but says I can send you all by myself. Thank you for fixing the hole in the sky and also the one by the dead man’s house. There were demons but they’re mostly gone now and people are going outside now. Da says Amaranthine has been through too much and can survive anything and he says you’re an elf like us and the Hero of Ferelden was an elf too. He says people used to think elves can’t be heroes but now they don’t. Have you met the Hero of Ferelden? Also I heard that even though you’re Dalish Andraste helped you in the Fade and that humans let you be in the Chantry because anyone Andraste likes must be a really good person. What’s Andraste like? The Chant says a lot but it’s different meeting someone I think. Also I think I saw you a little before but Mum wasn’t sure because you had a helmet on and we were far away and there were a lot of people but I bet it was you. Da wasn’t sure I should write because he says the Dalish don’t like city elves like we are but I think you must be nice and Mum agrees with me. I’ve been playing demon hunters with my brother Arrion (he’s just five still) and Da said templars are who fights demons usually and elves can’t be templars. People thought elves couldn’t be heroes and inquisitors though and we are so I bet I could too. Is it hard fighting demons? Da says they’re real scary but I’m not scared. Thank you for helping us and everyone and I hope you kill lots of demons. Sincerely, Isell U’venlan

From Umbra - A Final Fantasy XIV Fanfic

Cenric sits on the floor, draped in a white cotton tunic. It might have been snug on a Roegadyn but anyone else would find ample room. Behind him, Memesu stands on a cot holding shears. Gold earrings dangle on either side of her face.

“I fought at Carteneau, you know,” she mentions casually. There is a soft hsssssshhhh. Click.

Hair hits the floor. Coils.

He starts to shake his head, aborts the gesture partway through. Stills. “…you saw Bahamut?”

Memesu snorts. “I’m sure everyone this side of Hydaelyn saw Bahamut.” Click.

“That’s probably true,” he concedes. The dragon is what everyone knows, everyone remembers. He can't imagine the proximity. “What about the Warriors of Light?”

“Pff.” Gentle tugging at his scalp. Cenric does not open his eyes but leans into the motion. “I wasn’t of rank to see their like. Not that I’d remember. Stop moving.” Click.

Cenric hesitates.

“What do you remember, then?”

For a time, the only sound comes from blades and a thousand strands cut short. This lasts for several minutes. Cenric resigns himself to secrets.

Then, “I used to think I was special too. As a twin. My sister was Memeni. We studied together.”

 Was.

The exhale hits him slowly, quietly.

“She died?”

He can feel the shrug in her hip against his shoulder.

“It was Carteneau,” says Memesu. “Of course she died.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why?” Click. “It had nothing too do with you. If you keep trying to claim responsibility for every misfortune you find, you’re going to get self-important.”

Cenric only grunts, quiet and non-committal.

 Click.

 Click.

 Click.

“Carteneu was so much worse than people remember. Only four years later and already we hurry to dispose of details.” There is a hard undercurrent to Memesu’s voice, but what contact she makes remains light. Careful. “I remember the arcanist from Limsa who didn’t dodge a magitek canon in time. Miqo’te. Spells come faster in that discipline, so there’s less stress on distance than thaumaturgy. Girl got careless.” Click. “The mess smelled like rotten eggs and charcoal. Her face was… melted.” Click. “I try not to look in those situations. They only make casting harder. But she was so close.”

Cenric doesn’t move. Doesn’t say a word.

Memesu continues. “One of our own gladiators, an Ala Mhigan, took to mutilating any pureblooded Garleans he could catch. The man had a string of eyes hanging around his neck. I’m pretty sure one enemy officer wet himself before he started to beg. Not that it particularly mattered.”

 Click.

“Memeni… didn’t anticipate what she was getting herself into. She saw magic as a way of being useful to craftsmen. My focus has always been theoretical. Right side.” Startled, Cenric lets her guide his jaw to get a better view of his profile. Click. Click. “Meni used to think I was a priss. She preferred to develop magitek kettles alongside alchemists. See if she could find a way to capture light like the Mhachi did. She still enjoyed fishing when she could, even though it smelled awful. Never outgrew the braids she wore growing up. ” Memesu sighs. “…just understand she died afraid, in pain, and with things left undone. My sister didn’t even resemble herself at the end.”

Cenric is very still. Thinks carefully.

“…I wish it could have gone differently,” he says at last.

Memesu’s mouth slides up in a small, crooked smile. She tousles the neat, ear-length hair before her. “So do I.”

Eclipse - A Final Fantasy XIV Fanfic

It ends at Elidibus’ untimely arrival.

“Lord Zodiark,” he says, so smoothly that were he not searching for it that the anger would be undetectable, “appreciates your attentions.”  His gaze does not waver from Lahabrea as he speaks. “But there is work to be done and I’m afraid there are words I would have with your Speaker.”

They disperse.

Nabriales, careful and curious, folds himself out of sight beyond the chamber then makes his way back to its edge.

Lahabrea, farthest from the exit, attempts to steal some small dignity. Turns to face Elidibus.

The Emissary makes him wait. Expressionless red masks matched by those who wear them.

Then, with more speed and force than typical for his demeanor, the Emissary closes distance to trap his colleague against the wall.

“It was my error,” hisses Elidibus, leaning in, “to have stayed silent upon rescuing you. A mistake I will remedy now, so we can be on no uncertain terms.”

Lahabrea lowers his eyes. Nabriales notes that despite the dread they all share of such reprimands, the man does not brace.

“You know as well as I that these words offer less succor to our Lord than action,” continues Elidibus, his fury quiet and no less sharp for that, “just as we both know your thoughtless action is the cause of repeated missteps these past centuries. Make no mistake—for all the strides you’ve made, your fixation and your impatience have cost the rest of us considerable time.”

Silence.

“Do you truly think this is your best service to Him?” asks Elidibus. “To us? Compromising your ability to fill the hours? Even Emet-Selch agrees these displays are disgraceful. You have ever borne them poorly, but being a 'paragon among paragons' naturally you continue ignoring your own better judgment with ours to continue this exercise in futility. Idiot.”

A twitch of the head. Almost a flinch.

It is one of few moments Nabriales has seen the Emissary express his anger so openly. Even after the Thirteenth fell to Igeyorhm’s error, Elidibus allowed the Angel of Truth to lead and voiced his own reproach with a more typical icy demeanor. Scathing though it was.

“I can be of use,” says Lahabrea softly. “Only three of us remain, and I—“

“You,” Elidibus snaps, “cannot follow the most simple instructions for the good of us all. Not for Him, not for Amaurot, not even for yourself. Your pride has made you not simply an embarrassment but a liability.”

Neither man speaks for several moments after that.

And then, at length, Elidibus exhales.

Says the Speaker’s name.

Receives his attention.

“What would you have me do?” the Emissary asks. His tone now is almost weary. “Clearly it would be unreasonable to trust you’d simply listen. Must I mind you like a child?” This is what breaks Lahabrea’s composure.

Knowing the man’s temper, Nabriales had expected him to lash out. Even on the back foot their orator is perfectly capable of defending himself from insults.

Instead, he embraces Elidibus fiercely—face just within the bounds of his pauldrons. Jaw locked shut firmly enough to hurt. Expression downcast.

Elidibus remains perfectly still at first. In the absence of conversation it is possible to hear the rush of Lahabrea’s breathing. Only through the nose, withheld briefly between each inhale as if that offers some means to steady himself.

As if that would make it better.

Tentatively, Elidibus holds him back. Lahabrea's fingers contract, and though he remains upright when his knees begin to give it is the Emissary who helps him kneel.

“Easy,” he murmurs, and Lahabrea removes one hand to run it reflexively over his face—coming against the mask.

Nabriales finds himself staring, searching. A puzzle with missing pieces whose image he may yet divine

“It was not,” says Lahabrea roughly, “my intention to…”

Elidibus reaches beneath the other man’s cowl, finds the hair and skin beneath. Draws him in once more.

Naught that would be shared with or among the Sundered. Nothing so personal as that.

Nabriales has worn his own share of flesh. Bedded lovers, adopted companions and families of vessels to fulfill a purpose. Passable enough, perhaps, but never for him. Not in truth.

It’s as if he looks upon two strangers.

Parched - A Final Fantasy XIV Fanfic

The door closes behind them. Lahabrea, projecting his preferred likeness over the host, waits on a couch within.

It’s admittedly a surreal sight. Ishgardian finery with its gilded edges, its elaborate wallpapers and marble floors. A collection of creams and blues and greens, fine furniture with velvet seat cushions. All ostentatious in the extreme… and then Lahabrea. Masked and cowled. Pouring three glasses of La Noscean arrack.

Elidibus freezes, and though none of them can see his eyes the confusion is clear enough.

“What is this?”

“Your turn,” says Emet-Selch, lightly but less flippant than he might have been.

Lahabrea proffers a cup from where he sits.

Elidibus neither moves nor speaks.

Emet-Selch approaches. Takes the drink. Presses it carefully into the other man’s hand.

“Don’t think,” he says smoothly,” that I won’t let you drop it.”

Mercifully, Elidibus has a good grip.

“Sit,” says Lahabrea, gesturing with his own glass to the sofa across from him.

Elidibus sits.

Emet-Selch sits.

Takes his own glass, perhaps a bit pointedly.

Elidibus’ mouth is pressed tight. It opens briefly, as if to speak. Shuts again.

“Explain,” the Emissary manages eventually.

Lahabrea meets his co-conspirator’s eye. Downs his arrack in a single attempt.

It is a long attempt.

It lasts several moments.

The other Ascians watch.

“Elidibus,” says Emet-Selch as Lahabrea endeavors to catch his breath in the aftermath, “Lahabrea and I are concerned that you may be experiencing some difficulties in recent years.”

“I’m fine,” replies Elidibus coldly. Holding his drink. “Why did you think this necessary?”

“Because—“ wheezes Lahabrea.

“Because you’re practically a mammet,” says Emet-Selch, picking up Lahabrea’s glass. Moving it just out of reach. “Truly. It’s been what, two hundred years? Three? Neither of us can remember the last time you so much as spoke of matters unrelated to the Rejoining.”

Lahabrea reaches. Elidibus pours his arrack into the other man’s glass before nudging it back toward him.

Elidibus makes eye contact with Emet-Selch.

“I remain focused,” he says evenly. “Nothing more.”

Emet-Selch gestures to the bottle.

Elidibus sighs.

Refills his own glass.

“There are matters I must attend myself. As is the case with each of you.”

“Undoubtedly,” replies Lahabrea more evenly. “But with few exceptions, you haven’t done so.”

A hard stare from behind the mask.

“What would you have me do? I can’t very well take time off.”

Emet-Selch sips.

“A negligible amount of time,” he says, “taken sparingly, may be forgivable.”

5. Scene you haven’t written, but want to?

Lmao see this is a plus side/minus side deal. Minus side, it’s being asked just before I embark on a MASSIVE ASS FANFIC. And I basically am excited for all of it. Plus side, there are things I refuse to spoil.

So... putting it vaguely, in no particular order:

- Lahabrea and Hydaelyn meet a second time after Praetorium.

- Moonfire Faire

- Thancred

- Conversations over mulled wine

- Silvertear Lake

Some of these are sex scenes. Most aren’t. But I am very hyped.

[machinequeen4]

Fic rec bingo list!

I thought I’d fill out this fic rec bingo card, posted by @lightveils on Twitter!

It sort of turned into the History of MachineQueen in Fanfiction. All you unsung heroes who write and publish fanfic, I love you and remember your names.

Recs for Fire Emblem Fates, Fire Emblem Three Houses, Yu-gi-oh, Doctor Who, RWBY, Ace Attorney, Tales of Graces follow!

1. A fic you love without knowing the source material

Undone - codenamecynic, Dragon Age II, E rated, Fenris/Female Hawke, multichap 135k words

https://archiveofourown.org/works/482156/chapters/838851

I know nothing about Dragon Age and can’t remember why I decided to read it. TV Tropes maybe?  From what I can tell it’s the events of the game with additional sex scenes. Hawke is witty, Fenris is a tragic broken bird, I was sold.

2. A fic with a premise that shouldn’t work but it does

Trial and Error - undieshogun, Fire Emblem Fates, T rated, Subaki/Takumi, multichap 15k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6890677/chapters/15719992

Not so much a premise but a ship I wasn’t convinced on. But it had Subaki in it so I gave it a try. It’s really cute - Subaki tries to teach Takumi social skills, much to his annoyance. 

This line alone is gold star characterisation:

"I couldn't tell you why Tsubaki has taken such a liking to you, but I do know that any time he wants to befriend someone, it's because he sees in them something he lacks."

3. A fic you’ve reread several times

Gratitude - GoldenThreads, Fire Emblem Three Houses, T rated, Hubert/Ferdinand, multichap 8k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20344273/chapters/48239686

The writing style is so beautifully layered that I find new meaning every time I read it. The scene where Ferdinand offers a hairpin for each story Hubert tells is gorgeous, one of my favourites to reread. 

4. A fic you still remember many years later

A Song I Think I Heard Before - Scribbler, Yu-gi-oh, T rated, Mai/Jounouchi (Joey), multichap 40k

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5924028/1/A_Song_I_Think_I_Heard_Before

My favourite Mai fic. This gives her a backstory with Dartz based villainy and recontextualises her relationship with Jou (Joey in the dub, most YGO authors used the JP names to distance themselves from 4Kids’ added cheese). I was on tenterhooks waiting for each new chapter. It’s got real emotional depth, capturing Mai’s cynical nature perfectly. Also I still think about/use the phrase bumblefuck in the morning. 

5. A comfort fic

just a little stuck on you (you’ll be on me too) - flowermoons, Fire Emblem Three Houses, T rated, Hubert/Ferdinand, one chap 33k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21875707

This brings the cast of FE3H to the modern world and drops them into reality TV show The X Factor. There’s no war or death angst, just a singing contest. I grew up with The X Factor on TV on a Saturday night so this was a delight. Like me, the author is cynical about reality TV which makes the fic even more engaging. Ferdinand mourning his long hair after he cuts it and Hubert running round London looking for him really made my day. 

6. A catharthic fic

Long and Lost - Windian, Tales of Graces, M rated, Richard/Asbel, multichap 36k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5357546/chapters/12372899

Listen game, you can’t spend 40 hours having the protagonist’s motivation as ‘save Richard’ and then pull a no homo on me! In this fic Asbel dutifully marries Cheria only for the whole thing to collapse in on itself when he realises he’s in love with Richard after all. The snow storm scene is something I’ll always remember.

7. A fic you’d like to print and put on your bookshelf

Revival series - MyAibou, Yu-gi-oh,  T rated, multiship, many k

http://fanfiction.net/s/2681684/1/Revival-Prologue-Paradox

This is split into multiple parts and has another multipart followup. A continuation of Yu-gi-oh Duel Monsters with shipping and very decent original characters including villains. My polarshipping heart is in love with this scene on the clifftop in part 2 chapter 11 - a slow dance to the sound of the waves to help Mai remember she isn’t alone *melts into a puddle*

8. A fic you associate with a song

Who I Am Hates Who I’ve Been - darkrunner, Yu-gi-oh, rated K+, Mai/Jou, multichap 9k

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4445992/1/Who-I-Am-Hates-Who-I-ve-Been

It’s titled after a song. This was one of the first fics I ever found, read and loved. I was way too shy to review but I loved this author dearly. Good old angst & hurt/comfort with a happy ending. A happy ending for Mai was all I wanted haha!

9. A fic that inspires you

Patience, Ponies and Pastries - GoldenThreads, Fire Emblem Three Houses, T rated, Hubert/Ferdinand, multichap, 27k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20722859/chapters/49231019

A shipping fic where the two characters being shipped spend most of the fic apart! This author is so good at characterising the pair, there are treasures hidden throughout. I never thought reading about horses of all things could make me so emotional... 

And this passage from Ferdinand’s point of view:

As long as Hubert did not truly reject such affection, did not throw him in the stocks for his bleeding heart, then he did not require reciprocation. He required that Hubert be cherished, and that was that.

10. A fic that brought you on board a new ship

Marik and Bakura Go To Censored Town - Little Kuriboh, Yu-gi-oh, M rated, multichap, 24k

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6954805/1/Marik-Bakura-Go-To-Censored-Town

I spent most of my Yu-gi-oh fandom life wishing there were more fics about Mai and tended to avoid the big slash ships. However, Yu-gi-oh Abridged’s strongest pair were always Marik and Bakura. When I read this fic I realised yes, Marik being an idiot and Bakura being the straight man (not literally) makes this ship sing.

11. A fic you wish could be a movie

Denial & Deception - Bohemienne, Fire Emblem Three Houses, M rated, multichap, 74k (incomplete)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20895731/chapters/49671050

The setting of Derdriu is so lushly described that it would make a wonderful movie setting. Additional points for the masked ball chapters! 

Hubert and Ferdinand infiltrate the Leicester Alliance using a fake relationship. It goes as well as you might expect. There is comedy, there is romance and the whole thing makes you want to smack Hubert round the face with a fish. 

12. A fic that led to you making friends with the author

Past Future Continuous - HermitsUnited, Doctor Who, T rated, multichap 20k

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4917490/1/Past-Future-Continuous

We are not in contact anymore but we shared a love of Donna Noble. This shines through in all her alternate season 5 fics! 

13. A fic you’ve gushed about IRL

Festering Under Your Skin - Bohemienne, Fire Emblem Three Houses, M rated, multichap 52k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20465312/chapters/48559553

My poor gf had to put up with me going on about this one. Lady Edelgard is dead and Ferdinand is a Blue Lion who spares Hubert. All of this is played for maximum dramatic potential. Special marks for the scene where Ferdinand accidentally poisons himself with Hubert’s coffee. So brilliantly in character for both of them. And excellently foreshadowed earlier in the fic where an imprisoned Hubert keeps asking for his coffee... 

14. A fic you associate with a place

Heart of Defiance - battlemage15, RWBY, M rated, multichap 150k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7896874/chapters/18038116

I downloaded this to my phone and read it on the top deck of the number 6 bus as it bumped along the country roads of deepest Devon. I was on my way to job interviews in the city and the trip was 2 hours long. The fic itself is a Yang centric shonen power fantasy that goes to pretty dark places. 

15. A fic that made you gasp out loud

Blood and Ink - ShowMeYourFury, RWBY, M rated, Cinder/Ruby, multichap 45k

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11754595/1/Blood-and-Ink

This fic is ruthless with Cinder’s villainy. Every time you think she can’t go any further, she does. I love it. 

16. A fic you found at the right time

Forward - Lyricanna, Fire Emblem Fates, not rated, multichap, 34k (incomplete)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12747516/chapters/29075913

I love the concept of this fic so much. Subaki is selected to be a Hoshidan ambassador in Nohr and gets lumped with Niles as a guide. Neither is having a good time. There is a plot going on involving kidnapping and asassination that forces them to work together. 

17. A fic that you would read fic of

The Obligatory Hot Spring Scene - Scribbler, Yu-gi-oh, T rated, oneshot, sub 1k

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6368612/1/The-Obligatory-Hot-Spring-Scene

Written as though the characters are actors and canon is a TV show. I love this concept and would read more in a similar vein

18. A fic that made you laugh out loud

Surrender To Your Peace - spiralpegasus, Fire Emblem Three Houses, M rated, Sylvain/Felix, one chap, 11k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20757260

“This is very unfortunate,” Dimitri says with a frown. “As the leader of this mission, I will take full responsibility and use the Swamp Bedroll.”

One does not simply sacrifice themselves to He Who Saw The Bottom Of The Earth And Lived with such a cavalier attitude. “You know your guilt complex doesn’t actually have to extend to sleeping in a gross swamp bag,” Sylvain tells him disbelievingly.

“I agree, Your Highness,” Dedue says, setting He Whose Stench Haunts The Dreams Of Man down on the ground with a delicate sort of distaste. “None of us need use this… bedroll.” He says bedroll the same way he says food when it’s Flayn’s turn to cook.

19. A fic with a line or two you’ve memorised by heart

one sentiment enlightens to another - newamsterdam, Fire Emblem Three Houses, G rated, Hubert/Ferdinand, oneshot 6k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21074840

Ferdinand rolls his eyes. “Of course I do, Hubert. I remember very well. I just— well. Perhaps I’ve overestimated you.”

Hubert, who has spent the better part of the past few weeks believing he constantly underestimates Ferdinand, bristles.

Not the exact lines but I always keep this in mind when writing the ship. I think these hit on the fundamental misunderstanding between the two characters. Hubert is only human, not some all powerful hero/villain. And Ferdinand isn’t stupid just because he’s honest and emotional. I think the two of them have trouble getting their heads round these concepts!

20. A fic that gave you butterflies

Ataraxia - Windian, Tales of Graces, T rated, Cheria/Pascal, 13k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7828981/chapters/17871247

"I want you," Cheria tells her, and the night catches like a rubber band. Her hands are in Pascal's hair, Pascal's arms around hers, her mouth on hers. Their kisses are sloppy and messy, noses knocking against one another, but it's everything and it's nothing at all like kissing Asbel.

When they break for air, Pascal tells her, "You don't know how long I've wanted to do this, Cheria."

Cheria asks, "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I dunno Cheria, because you were gonna marry Asbel, maybe?"

It stops her in her tracks. Voice low, she asks, "What am I going to tell him?"

Pascal cups either side of her face. Kisses her, so hot and hard that Cheria's left seeing stars, clinging at the strings of Pascal's swimsuit like a shipwrecked sailor to a spar.

"Screw it. Think about it in the morning. For once in your life, do something you want."

21. A fic that embodies something you value in life

The Truth About Love - MistressAkira, Fire Emblem Fates, T rated, Niles/Subaki, 2k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12036081

This fic is experimental in style - the author descrbes it as a soliloquy. The sentiment I take from it is that love is compromising, inconvenient, illogical. Yet it’s still something beautiful and something worth fighting for.

22. A favourite AU

Mobius - SirTeateiMoonlight, Xenoblade Chronicles, T rated, multichap, 17k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17845748/chapters/42111473

Melia finds a copy of Xenoblade, plays it and knows exactly what’s going on in the story. She uses this knowledge to her advantage. It’s a slippery slope. By the end of the story she’s mercilessly torturing Lorothia against her brother’s wishes. 

23. A fic you’ve stayed up late to finish reading

Dirty Sympathy - ideny, Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney, M rated, Klavier/Apollo, 130k on AO3 not sure on kink meme

https://bludhavens.livejournal.com/88397.html?thread=41790541#t41790541

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1075868/chapters/2160789

I stayed up reading this until 4am and for some reason (probably tiredness) confessed this to my not-yet-gf. She cites this as one of the moments she fell for me!

It’s a dark fic in which Klavier and Apollo are both in abusive relationships with villains. They concoct a plot to implicate the two of them in criminal activities to escape and fall for each other along the way. 

24. A fic that made you feel seen

i knew you were trouble - Magepaw, Fire Emblem Fates, M rated, Niles/Subaki, 8k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19314568

First of all the title is one of my favourite songs. Second of all the dialogue is everything I want from the Niles/Subaki ship. Third Subaki’s pegasus makes her presence known. Fourth there is a gory battle scene and hurt/comfort gone wrong. And fifth, a happy ending. 

Niles had to turn away, hand pressed to his mouth, before his own blush betrayed him. This was too good to last. This had to be the most embarrassingly vulnerable moment of his entire life, and of course the entirety of the Nohrian and Hoshidan military combined had to be there to see Niles go soft. 

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S3 Ep 18: Noah’s Dad Decides he Doesn’t Love His Son Anymore When Noah Gets Way Too Into Petz Hexing

I was hanging out with Bro and he made me look at a lot of bad Yugi wigs that were 600 dollars each, and because only like...4 good Yugi wigs exist in the world, I decided to help him get out that Yugi itch in a healthier way, by copy editing these posts and fixing the way I spell Gozaburo wrong about 400 more times before this arc ends.

So last we left off, Noah decided to reference that one part of the Bible he knows.

He’s gonna change the playing field to kind of run through the history of the Earth, showing us that in every period of history his outfit was never acceptable.

Also he got the history a...little bit wrong. You had to have people before Noah’s ark but...whatever. I took astrology, there’s a lot about planet formation we’re still kind of guessing on, so do whatever you feel like, Yugioh. It’s not like any kids watching this got real pissy about how Noah was totally botching the Archean period.

He also decides to dump on us how he got so smart. See, Kaiba got smart by studying a lot, surrounding himself with people way dumber than him, and then just bossing everyone around him until they agreed with him that he was very smart. In Noah’s case, it’s because he’s literally a computer.

I’m really glad I get to find another anime that’s all ham about this tree. In this case just slapping it on there for a few seconds, long enough for me to say “WHAT THE HELL, KIDS SHOW?” before it vanishes again.

Good on you, Noah. You just...casually slipped that in there.

Ah, but unfortunately, the AI who is like...not even human and is *pretty sure* He’s Noah Kaiba is still kind of attached to his Dad. Maybe it was a part of his core code that he couldn’t reject his Father? I dunno, just seems weird that he achieved enlightenment and was like “So uh...I guess I’ll play cards and take over a mindless corporation. Good use of my time.”

(read more under the cut)

Kaiba’s reaction to hearing that his brother stores all of human knowledge was “well, it can’t possibly be that difficult. I’ve done way more than that. I have a homeschool degree and half a high school diploma so go to Hell, bro.”

Yo how many people would sit down, turn to their computer, and just start shouting at their core processor about how they’re waaaay smarter than it? Remember that during this entire conversation, Kaiba is shouting at a literal computer.

So anyway, we finally get to see why they bothered showing us spider room a few episodes back. Youknow, that room with the baby in it? Turns out...there was never a baby in this room, since Noah was a kid when he first woke up here.

Before it was covered in spiders, it was covered in blue and off white. This is a very boring Martha Stewart room in different shades of robin eggshell. You can tell this kid is a Kaiba because oh boy that is a...really boring 50 yo housewife look, ain’t it?

I’m sure it’s symbolic for the fact he is hella dead and innocent at this point but like...every time we see Kaiba interior design it’s just the last type of design you expect from this high octane family.

Anyway, Noah’s kind of surprised to be awake because, last he remembers, he was very much hit by a car.

Ya, I mean, if you have to tell your son you Frankenstiened him into a horrible crime against humanity, might as well tell him as quickly and bluntly as possible, I guess.

Anyway, because Noah existing breaks the most basic moral human laws in every country on Earth, they kinda can’t let him go anywhere, which means that to prevent the loneliness, Kaiba gives him...a pet?

So Noah and the dogcat decide to travel through Domino and realized very quickly that there were only like...five NPC’s. There’s like an ice cream girl, and like a couple walking people, and that’s about it.

Noah’s words were something like “man this place is full of glitches!” because his dogcat wouldn’t stop barking and he threw a rock at it and it didn’t care. Glitches.

I guess it’s one way to look at it?

It feels like Noah got somewhat cursed like Pharaoh did, just a little bit. Like not completely it’s just that I can’t help but notice both are trapped in some sort of basic geometry shape--Pharaoh’s is a pyramid and Noah’s is an orb, and both have untold superpowers matched with some heavy depression that goes with having said superpowers. Not to mention, both have a host body all set up for possession, it’s just Kaiba is a little bit youknow...unwilling to participate. They’re very different obviously it’s just...way to trap your characters in shapes.

Anyway, last episode I felt like maybe Noah liked being an orb, this episode he’s made it a little more clear that it is kind of not great being an orb...but only because he can’t throw any rocks at dogs or have real conversations with anyone but his own Dad.

Anyway, Noah got a little bored. So his Dad sent him to virtual Mars.

And now Noah only finds joy in hacking his digital pet. Relatable.

Now I know a good chunk of you are my age--that good Jenna Marbles age--and will know exactly what I am referring to, as for the rest of you, turning your digital pet into a hell creation was just a thing we all did in year 2000ish. All of us did this.

And I was like “I bet you, that someone out there has made a robot Hex, I guarantee” because I spent...I want to say 2 years of my life downloading modded breedz of Catz 4? I even tried to do it myself but I wasn’t any good at it because I was super young and bad at computers, I never actually got Robbie William’s Millennium as a Catz meow (though trust me, I did try. It was my life’s dream when I was small.)

But the closest I found to a Robot Petz was this?

Dang. Look at that thing. This one is actually pretty good because it does resemble an animal. I admire it a lot. Trust me, I spent like days moving my bunniez feet around trying to make a dragon and just ended up downloading someone else's dragon.

And then, from the same page I saw this gem right above it.

HELL YES........

....I freakin love this period of the internet so freakin much. I was only ever really a part of a couple of fandoms as a child and the Petz fandom will forever hold a little part of my heart. I mean, look at this. What’s not to love?

Like, Catz is probably number 3 on my list of best games ever made. Not so much because the game was any good, but because none of the files were protected in any way so even kids like me could hack in there and make the weirdest abominations and post them all to their Angelfire pages.

Well, other kids could, I was so baby that I was still using my Mom’s email address and did not know how to put a damn thing on my webpage. Which I did have. But it had like...only frames. It had like 3 words and just me splitting the page into 50 frames because I did not know what I was doing.

I apologize to all the kids in the room who have never seen a web page covered in ugly ass frames. You lucky bastards.

....but Petz...Noah was into PETZ. I can respect him for that.

I still think he’s a little creep-o, but knowing that he hacked his pet has given me a lot of appreciation for his work.

Anyway, it was after Noah changed the boring ass simpleton dog into a much better dog that Gozoboro decided “I have made a monster, I am abandoning my boy.” Which uh...this was the thing?

This?

I mean as far as body horror goes, Litterbox up there is way worse. As far as body horror goes, we also have, Jinzo over here, but the digital dog with a cute robot head was the thing that made Gozoboro say “What have I done!?” The dog is digital, it’s not even alive.

Especially since I feel like the follow up question Noah made was like way more frightening than the dog thing?

Kaiba glazes right over this entire conversation. Like full stop, he didn’t even seem to blink. No part of this story even slightly surprised him, although I will admit, at least Seto has decided that Noah...exists and might in fact be a robot his Father made once. This in itself is a big deal for Kaiba, who has a goldfish memory and denial wider than the sea he’s trapped under.

First of all, congrats to the storyboarder/animator for drawing a hand in that angle, mad respect.

Second of all, this is pretty close to the actual line from the show, Kaiba legit thinks that his Dad wanted Kaiba to be the president, after he knows full well that his Dad was like “Don’t Take Over My Company, You Little Twerp” and then like tried to even send Seto back to the orphanage whence he came. Kaiba’s pretty sure that his Dad wanted that whole thing to happen exactly the way it happened. No regrets. Just family being family.

And Moki’s still chilling on the Moki couch, just kinda taking this all in before he’s summoned unto the field like a playing card.

Ah, yet another person who is like “KILL MEEE” on this show. It’s been kind of a while. Like, who’s left that hasn’t stood in front of a loaded card-gun like this? Duke? Is Duke the only one who hasn’t sacrificed his body for the greater card-good at this point? Is this why Duke is our amoral Chaotic Neutral? Is this why Duke is still the only one who hasn’t died yet (and I’m crossing my fingers still that he’s gonna be our death 169, it can happen, I can believe)?

I feel like this is the season of weird hugs. Like everyone on this show that has hugged has gotten a little weird. The only not-weird hug was when Yugi attempted to hug Joey once and then Joey dodged the hug and wrestled him into an arm-distanced noogie instead--which is technically still not a hug, but the closest we’ve gotten to something a human would do. It is so lucky for our art team that all the huggers are supposed to be hella weird anyway.

Anyway, next episode we get to find out if Noah also had an AIM username or got really into Jelly pens. I can see him getting suuuper into Jelly pens, with hair like that.

Anyway, here’s a link to Season 1 Ep 1 to read in Chrono order, in case you just got here and you’re looking for that.

[him-e]

Your replies to people's asks are so thoughtful and incisive. Regarding the lesson on power + the trappings of power you felt Dany was meant to confront, I think GRRM has consciously been returning to this lesson not once or twice but repeatedly throughout the book. In fact, it's felt like a central pillar of the series. For Dany, victory or 'peace' at the expense of true innocents - as opposed to soldiers like the Tarlys - is something that's always on the table while she has dragons.

Thank you! And I agree, Martin loves to reiterate the saga’s central themes through different characters, and “what is the life of one bastard boy against a kingdom?” “Everything” is definitely one of those. Dany makes the question particularly poignant because she’s not merely motivated by political ambition or a sense of dynastic duty, but also by a genuine desire to make the world a better place and to fix injustices. Can you sacrifice some innocents to ultimately save many, many more? Good questions rarely have a simple answer.

Wrt Dany repeating Stannis, maybe the point Martin wants to make is that power inherently corrupts, kinda like how no one can learn to use the ring for good in lotr. Could be that he’s pouring cold water on any hope of an enlightened monarch thru Dany’s example. Then again there have been good targ kings in the past so I guess that’s kinda contradictory. Idk I’m not opposed to a tragic arc in theory, it’s kind of a refreshing contrast to boring empowerment narratives, but execution matters a lot

Yeah, the whole message is undermined by the fact that Martin doesn’t seem to be introducing an alternative to monarchy in this story. Even when we have examples of oligarchy or pseudo-democracy like in some of the Free Cities, it’s rarely framed in a positive way. I'm also not a fan of the idea of power being inherently corruptive, because it seems to negate the importance of personal choice and free will, which I think is a central theme in the series.

re: dragons, there’s always been spec in the asoiaf fandom about how nobody should be able to wield *that* kind of power. The problem is that someone, in Westeros’ history, did, successfully and without being punished by the narrative. *points at Aegon the Conqueror*

The idea that Aegon could force people on their knees using dragons, thrive, and start a three-centuries long dynasty, but Dany’s attempt to do the same needs to be crushed before she actually has a shot at ruling the realm doesn’t sit well with me. There’s something inherently revolutionary about the fact that the one with so much power is now a woman---a woman who grew up in rags and knows what it means to be hungry, powerless, victimized. The fact that this woman’s shot at ruling is stopped where many male rulers in the series have effectively thrived using similar amounts of violent power... isn’t that great. Especially considering that the other “queen” character is getting crushed too.

[parachutingkitten]

Character Thoughts - Lloyd

I want to do more analysis stuffs, and I need some time to rewatch season 5 to continue my season analysis, so I figured I'd do this. I'll do whatever characters you want, I'll definitely hit the main 6, but if there are any side characters, I'd be happy to do them as well!

Okay. Time to get real. Honest and unpopular opinion. I don't like Lloyd. I kinda hate him.

If this upsets you, please consider actually reading the whole thing before screaming at me.

Idk if it's just a thing I've got against main characters or something, but I really don't get it. He has no defining character traits. I mean, he's a good kid I guess, and he's brave and noble and all that crap, but he's just... boring.

His backstory has the potential to be interesting, but they do nothing with it. His relationship with his dad is inconsistent as hell. Does he respect him? Or not? Has he worked through the whole evil dad thing? Or not? Has he forgiven his mother? Or not? Does the whole skipping years of your life thing effect him at all? Or not? What about his impulses from when he was a bratty kid? Does he... have them?

We've spent seasons and seasons and SEASONS on Lloyd's baggage and gotten absolutely nowhere. Even in seasons when he's not the focus he's got to be important. He's got to go off on his own, or be the key to some... thing. He's got to go off with his dad and angst in the forest, or get lost or possessed or be the last one standing. And I really don't get why it ALWAYS has to be Lloyd. Especially after season 2. His purpose has been fulfilled. He did his destiny or whatever. Now he should be just as powerful as everyone else. No more special treatment.

I don't know what it is. He never like... makes mistakes. He doesn't have any real character flaws. He can be kinda impulsive sometimes maybe. Sometimes he's kinda gullible and sometimes not. Any mistakes he makes are like "oh geez, responsibility is all on me and I'm so important and cool, isn't this tragic? The fall of a hero?"

He's not human, he's just a bunch of hero tropes wrapped into a person. That's why he doesn't have a personality, his character traits fluctuate depending on what trope fits the convenience of the plot! Say what you want about Kai's impulsive stereotype, or Jay's goofy stereotype, at least they're consistant.

Speaking of the team, what even is his relationship with anyone? I don't mean headcanons, or theories, or your interpretation, I mean how does he treat Kai and Cole any differently? Who in the team is he closest to? What's his relationship with Nya? What about Zane? Where's the differentiation? I feel like the other 5 have a history and bonds and connection, and he was dropped in there. Then, without any development, they were totally buddy-buddy all of a sudden.

Now, I get why he's appealing. Especially to little kids and stuff. He's the main ninja, he's got cool powers, and is strong and easy to self insert. Ninjago is a kids show. I get it.

I also can understand the potential appeal of Lloyd. He's got this sort of ying yang sort of backstory, he's had both broken and perfect families. He has the potential to be really interesting and thought provoking and emotional.

But none of that is in the show.

I feel like that's something I'll hit on a lot in this series. We as a fandom have assigned a lot of headcanons to characters, and made theories and interpolated a lot (I am so very guilty of this with PIXAL) but when you step back and look at it... none of it is in the show. The show has so many great ideas and concepts, but it doesn't do stuff. We as a fandom have done that legwork for them. That's something to be proud of, but it's also important to realize that that's what it is.

Not to say that ninjago is a bad show or anything. It's great, and I still love it, but when someone doesn't like a certain aspect as much as you do, I think this is likely the reason.

Anyway. I don't like Lloyd, even though he's the face of the show and all. Whatever. Just my opinion. I can stomach him fine. I'm not an active Lloyd hater or anything. I just... don't care for his screen time very much.

If you love him. Cool. Try and enlighten me as to why in the notes. I'd like to know what you like about him.

Anyway, if there's someone you want to hear me vent about next, let me know!

[imaginethemultiversedoms]

Tangled Webs (Part 1)

Fandom: The Flash

Rating: G

Summary: When Ralph confronts the youngest Team Flash member about the powers she’s been hiding since the bus event, Parker (OC) has to confess she’s been moonlighting despite the ever-present danger of Devoe.

A/N: Hey, hey! I’m back! So as I’ve been slowly catching up with Flash, I’ve noticed that all of the metas Team Flash has dealt with are adults. In the context of the fiction, I find it hard to believe that kids weren’t affected by the explosion or the Enlightenment. Plus it is a good story concept of a teenager trying to juggle high school and superheroing. So here is a small piece of that I may turn into something more (notice how that happens a lot?)

For the sake of this story, it’s not completely important how Parker ended up being on Team Flash. She just is at this point.

I’ve also fallen in love with Ralph. He has great depth of character and a great story arc. It was bound to happen.

EDIT: Yes, I did just add a “part 1″. While the story is pretty much the same, I did change the dialogue a bit at the end to keep it more in Parker’s POV. 1: it keeps a better flow and 2: I’m going to retell this in Ralph’s POV.

So yeah, Tangled Webs is turning into something more.

"Hey," Barry touched Parker’s shoulder gently, "why don't you head home? We still have a couple hours of clean up to do and you have that history test tomorrow." Parker nodded and shut her binder, shoving it in her bag. She noted it was four-thirty - about her usual patrol time. “I’ll run you home.”

"Nah, I've got band practice anyway. Jo said they would meet me at Jitters. Thanks anyway." She noted with relief the team accepted the excuse. Only Ralph looked a little suspicious, but she figured it was because she was the youngest and a non-meta. 

Supposedly, at least.

Barry insisted on running her to an alley around the corner of Jitters. As soon as he left though, she breathed a sigh of relief and tugged off her bag. Ducking behind a dumpster, she pulled off her coat and stripped down to her leggings and cami top. Shivering in the late fall air, she pulled out a white and black suit, a prototype Cisco tossed for Ralph's new suit. It was still too loose in places, but it fits what she needed to do well enough. It was even warmer than the cobbled together suit she started out with a few months ago. 

She put her backpack on and pulled out her phone. Metal would do nicely for this patrol. Letting the sounds of Godsmack bang in her ears, she pulled her mask down. It’d been a good day for Team Flash. Hopefully, that luck would bleed into her patrol. Afterward, maybe she could even set herself up in a construction area for some quiet reading. She smiled at the prospect. Pointing her web-slinger at the top of the building, she launched herself from the ground and started her patrol. 

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parker sighed as her web hammock swung gently in the breeze. It had turned out to be a decent patrol. She caught a robbery in progress, webbed up the baddies, and deposited them in front of the police station. She was in even better luck that Captain Singh was the one who saw her. Joe would've probably recognized the jacket. 

Then she webbed up some asshole who tried to steal a kid's bike, helped someone with directions, and walked an elderly lady across the street. That lady also ended up buying her a sandwich as thanks. Now she found herself a nice spot at the top of the new office building under construction, studying for her history exam, with a great view of the sunset. 

"Gotta say, you found yourself a pretty great view, kiddo." Parker looked up from her studying, confused and alarmed. There was only one person she allowed to call her "kiddo". Not even Barry could get away with it. She looked all around but didn't spot Ralph. It wasn't until she heard him stretching on her left that she found him walking across the platform towards her. He was obviously trying not to look down. "Take it you're not afraid of heights?" 

"Never," she admitted softly. "How much trouble am I in?"

"Depends." He gestured towards the web hammock and she nodded. He stretched himself slowly onto the hammock, making sure it would hold both their weights. Parker wasn't worried; her webbing was stronger than spider silk. Silk…maybe that could be her codename... "Does the team know you were even on that bus that morning?" he asked, breaking her from his thoughts. She picked at a stray thread on her jacket. 

"No," she whispered. Guilt and shame filled her again at the lie she'd been telling her family for months. She knew Devoe was searching for all the bus metas and she should've told the team what really happened that day. Risking a glance at Ralph, she saw his expression said the same thing. 

"What were you doing on that bus that morning?" he asked gently. 

"That was the morning everyone was trying to get Barry out of the Speedforce." She glanced at Ralph, who nodded for her to continue. "I wanted to be there, but Joe made me go to school nonetheless. Said it was better if I just went to keep my mind off what was going on. But I couldn't stop thinking of being able to see Barry again, so after homeroom, I kinda..."

"Ditched?" Ralph supplied gently. Parker nodded. "And hoofed it to the nearest bus stop and tried to sneak on?"

"I forgot my money pouch at home." She caught his eye for a moment and smiled crookedly, remembering the drunk/hungover guy that paid for her fare and let her sit at the window so no creeps bothered her. "I still owe you three dollars, huh?" 

"Buy me a coffee and we're even," he joked. "And the powers?"

"There was a spider crawling on your bag when you were dozing. I meant to get it off, but the bus jerked and the spider bit me just as dark matter flooded in."

"Whaaaat?" Ralph gasped. "You mean you actually got bit by a radioactive spider?" Parker giggled and nodded. "Oooh, I'm so jealous! Wait, what happened to the spider?" Parker cringed. 

"Accidentally squished it." Ralph's lips curled up, disgusted for a moment. A question burned in her mind and before she could stop herself, the words slipped out. "How did you find me?"

"When Barry and Iris had me hypnotized, I remembered you a little more clearly," he explained. "At first, I thought you were being a teenager about school and quitting band, but your routine became a little too predictable" he pulled out his phone and pulled up a YouTube clip of the mystery spider meta swinging past and waving. Parker noted it was taken a couple months ago, shortly after her powers manifested. "Coupled with the routine of that mysterious spider meta swinging around, it didn’t take long to put it together." Parker handed him back his phone. 

"That doesn't explain how you found me." Ralph gestured at the webbing to the building. 

"You leave a trail, kiddo." She blushed and picked at her backpack again. He nudged her to get her to look up. His expression was worried, bordering on panic. "An extremely easy one too. If I could follow you halfway across Central City, what makes you think Devoe couldn't either? The man had a flying chair and is now taking over metas. It would be terrifyingly easy for him and we wouldn't know until it was too late." 

Tears burned behind her eyes as she turned away to stare at the bay. She knew the risk she was taking not telling. But she wanted to help her city like her friends. Then when she realized the juggling act between school and superhero, she knew she couldn't tell them just yet. Then came the comments about the spider meta, the video clips, and the mystery behind the spider mask. The lies just continued stacking up and when the team realized Devoe was tracking the bus metas, she was in way too deep. So she kept moonlighting and swinging and ignoring the ever-creeping danger of Devoe and breaking everyone's heart. 

Sniffling, she wiped her nose on her sleeve. "I'm sorry," she whispered. “Even though I knew lying about being on the bus would have disappointed everyone, I thought that if I could prove how good of a superhero I am, they wouldn't yell at me." She scrubbed at the tears that kept falling. "By the time we knew Devoe's intentions, I was in too deep. I just wanted to ignore the danger and keep doing what I was doing."

With a heavy sigh, Ralph reached up and wrapped an arm around the teen's shoulders in a hug. "I get it. I know what it's like to feel you live in someone’s shadow and want to prove yourself." He rested his chin on top of her head and sighed. "And the thing is, you have. I've seen the footage. You help people and relate to them. They love you, way more than Elongated Man." Parker looked up, surprised to hear the bitterness in his voice.

"People think you're cool too, Ralph," she insisted. "I think it's cool how you can stretch and stuff." Ralph grinned, looking both surprised and pleased at the compliment. She sighed, staring at the sunset. "They’re going to be pretty pissed, huh?"

"Oh, no doubt.” At the dejected slump of her shoulders, he hugged her again. "But I withheld crucial bus meta information too. I'll take on some of that anger for you." She looked up, surprised. 

"Really?" 

"Really. I can take it. Besides, we're a team now, right? I'll stand beside you." Parker grinned and hugged Ralph tightly around the middle. He laughed softly. Noting the sun was pretty much set, he pulled back. "Come on, break down this webbing and we'll pick up some Big Belly Burger to sweeten their tempers." 

"Are we going to drive there?" she asked, packing up her stuff. Ralph scoffed and put his mask back on. 

"When we have a faster mode of travel? There's a Big Belly on the corner of 31st and Park. Race ya there?"

She grinned wider and pulled her mask down and hood up. "Best swinger pays for dinner?" she asked, spider-crawling up the metal frame. She didn’t notice Ralph’s grimace, her mind on her growling stomach. That sandwich was a good three hours ago; a Big Belly Triple Decker with large fries sounded like heaven about now. 

"Yeah, I could go with that. Ready...set..."

"Ralph?"

"Yeah?"

"You're not just my teammate. You're my big brother too." For the third time that evening, she was surprised at her own admissions. While they were genuine fears and feelings, she had a hard time expressing them and usually resorted to some sort of action rather than words. She wasn’t ready to face the emotional war of telling the team she’d been lying, much less tell Ralph how much she looked up to him. But here they were.

She stole a glance at him and was glad that her mask completely covered her face. Even behind his eye mask, he was surprised and touched at the admission. Clearing his throat, he nodded. She could see his eyes glistening a bit, but he hid it behind a playful wink. “You might soon regret giving me that title, kiddo.” 

She lifted her mask enough to stick her tongue out. "You gotta catch me first. Ready...set...GO!"

[murdocklovespage]

One more note on plagiarism

This is an answer to a Karedevil Squad ask. I figured since these are very much my opinions, I should answer it here so that people could come at me directly if they want, especially since I’m calling a specific person out. 

I’m sorry if this is long-winded or redundant in places. Blame it on the rage. 

I’ve had a few people ask me about my anti-plagiarism comments. They stem from this message, which several people received in their inbox a little over a year ago.

Dmcreif had been a slight annoyance pre-plagiarism explosion. He sent many of us dozens of asks, (frequently the same asks) and was clearly obsessive. He liked to mansplain things like “fridging,” “toxicity,” and why Matt Murdock was somehow not deserving of the fallout from the mistakes he made. That I could deal with because I enjoyed reading people’s differing ideas about the analysis I was writing. Dmcreif does not. He loves to argue. He loves to hear his points validated. And he loves to harass people.

Many of us didn’t see what he was doing until the anon message. I still feel like people are pissed about us validating him by answering his questions/talking to him, but if you weren’t following a ship, or you just missed it, you didn’t always notice this shit. I follow hundreds of people and didn’t see his harassment until a couple of weeks before it blew up.

You’d see a post where he made some asinine Kastle or MattxElektra comment and tag it. You’d see veiled comments about how a “certain Karedevil user” is back at it again. I messaged several people asking about what it meant and they were always classy, just referencing someone who upset their ship. I jumped into an argument he’d started about Elektra’s toxicity saying Matt Murdock was a grown ass man and defending Elektra and I got the nicest message saying the OP appreciated my saying it. They were dealing with this shit on and off Tumblr and I didn’t know it. Not until the anon bomb went off and I started combing through his tumblr and reddit posts.

I realized that I wasn’t the only one he was doing this to and it was much worse than I thought it was. I never received the message, but I found 1200+ word posts I’d written directly copied and pasted under dmreif on reddit, as well as other words I’d written reposted in the comments of other posts. I saw specific users directly pointing out that he stole entire posts without crediting people. Numerous times. My blog name was mentioned in one of these comments on a site I had never used. He knew what he was doing and he kept doing it. It was infuriating. I was shocked.

Here are some examples posts that he stole from:

Mine    “His” Trombonesinspace’s    “His”

Those are the easiest examples and are just a drop in the bucket (dude posts a lot, so don’t waste too much time.) 

After being confronted (and this wasn’t the first time, apparently,) he wrote this “apology” which had been forced out of him when he came to a justifiably pissed individual with his tail between his legs.

There are some wonderful users who noticed these things pre-“apology” and post-“apology”, but he ignored them (once he apparently added quotes, but that doesn’t make it better in my opinion.) People also reported him for copyright violation, but reddit only allows you do that after so long, so in my case, I was out of luck. Check this reddit user’s comment history for some enlightenment.

After this blow up, people stopped talking to him. And responding to his asks. And many blocked him. It didn’t matter. He created a new blog (georgiakaredevilfan) and started sending asks from that. And if people didn’t respond, he’d send anons. His questions are pretty obvious and many of us have recognized when it was him. 

Since you are the person who sent this message, @evs14u , I will give you an example. Here are three of your anon asks with a link to a VERY similar question he asked on reddit.

Your “anon” ask    His post

Your “anon” ask    His post 

Your “anon” ask    His post 

Here is one specific thought he took from you and re-worded - you can find it in the coments of the first “’his’ post” link above. Yours:

“his”

Maybe it seems small, but that only took me twenty minutes to find. He posts to reddit like crazy and I don’t have your words memorized. So it’s more difficult than say, finding 1000+ word posts I wrote and he stole in their entirety.

It’s gotten easy to figure out when a new blog is his. Obsessed with Karen Page? Check. Obsessed with the core three getting back together and Karen having to be their secretary (thanks to DDS3, he’s upgraded that role slightly)? Check. Obsessed with hating Olicity. Elektra being “toxic.” Matt Murdock’s mistakes being somewhat his fault, but mostly the fault of the people he wronged over and over again? Getting the group together sooner? Everything coming around to Karedevil? Check, check, check. And finally: false-ignorance when it comes to harassing people who aren’t in his ship and at the same time blatant harassment and baiting to get reactions while still thinking he’s a good guy. Check.

He makes comments about wanting the ships to get along and how certain “bad apples” spoil the bunch. He is the bad apple. He is the one who stirs up shit when he disagrees. He is obsessive. He makes people hate Karedevil shippers (and we’re a lovely bunch), and he made people want to leave this site altogether (me included.)

He needs your validation. He needs your thoughts so that he can repost them - as @significantowl pointed out, it seems like he’s harvesting opinions that he can use. He’ll send you asks where he tells you something instead of actually asking something. Sometimes there will be a question attached to a tangent (which he likely stole), but most of the time it’s just a statement. He wants you to tell him he’s right. There isn’t much of a way to escape him. He is obsessed. It doesn’t matter when you join this fandom, if you have views that are similar, or if you have the complete opposite, he will bother you.

So yeah, this isn’t just about plagiarism, it’s also about harassment. I care more about the latter, to be honest, so I’ve paid attention. I’ve stopped writing meta because of him, but I’m not going to ignore the blatant crap he’s continuing to pull. He is a gaslighting sonofabitch and he makes us all think we’re paranoid. We aren’t.   

[scarabsi]

I need to quit my timeline for a while because someone I follow is getting harassed and I can't handle that

I like to think anyone with the patience to follow me is the kind of person who doesn't need a post like this, but all the same I want to express my feelings......

This is the second person I've seen getting hate mail and messages. I understand this is very common in Tumblr, but I've been very lucky with my fandoms. I will unfollow someone as soon as they get too judgemental-- not because there's anything wrong with that, but because it ruins my day and doesn't enrich or enlighten me so it's not worth the emotional toll. This doesn't really work when the person I follow is the target, though; it's not their fault other people are attacking them

Or is it? Like, didn't they do something problematic that led others to--?

No. When this happens I go through the person's blog trying to figure out what happened, but if I can't find what it is everyone's talking about, it seems super circumstantial and whose word am I gonna trust, someone I like or a horde of vitriolic anons?

If I do find something it's honestly easier, because I can just unfollow! It's better for everyone that way. Tumblr sells this idea that unfollowing is akin to plugging your ears and letting a fire rage around you, but...

This isn't a fire. You're not a crusader fighting for the rights of the marginalized, you're punching down a marginalized person who said something you didn't like and can't meaningfully fight back against you.

Both the people I've seen this happen to are trans people getting attacked by other trans people. The accusations vary but, as far as I can ascertain, largely boil down to taste. No matter what this person did, maybe said something that made you feel oppressed, it's not worth it to shower them with anonymous messaging.... Just unfollow them. It's better for you. It can be hard to unfollow someone who meant a lot to you, but harassing them isn't going to make them more like the person you thought they were. Nobody ever got a message saying "I hope you're proud of yourself for being a shite" and thought "hmm, I wonder how I can change to make this person like me more?"

If a trans person said something transphobic, and you HAVE to say something or else it will bother you, be nicer to them about it than you would be to a cis person saying the same thing. There is no universal trans experience. For some trans people, they really have no way to know better. And, unlike cis people, they already have to deal with their own transphobia and, sometimes, their trans issues personally affect them in a way that directly opposes yours??? It's not an excuse for hurting others but it's something to consider.

It can be heady to attack a marginalized person for something. Sending a passive aggressive message to a trans person, knowing they will care about trans rights, will feel a lot better than doing the same thing to a transphobic cis person who may not give a shit whether we live or die. But that power rush is not good for you. It's an ill-gotten gain. You did not make the world a better place when you did that, you just indulged in your own personal sense of hurt and revenge. And, as someone who has trouble with that-- it's in my blog history because I rarely delete posts-- I know that kind of thing just eventually makes me into a self-indulgent jerk who hurts people for my own personal enjoyment. Don't do it. Don't be like I was.

Thank you for reading. Again, I'm pretty sure anyone who IS reading is someone who knows this already, but... if nothing else, I needed to read it.

Here's to the hope that I won't have to deal with this again for a long time, and that I get over the emotional fallout of this one faster than the last one. 🥠