#maybe some books but i was kinda tempted to just write down the books i have on my wishlist and hit like barnes or half price

[sheyshen]

i might’ve ordered thancred’s gunblade as an early birthday gift to myself....

[thebluester2020]

[TWST] Kinktober Day 13: "Masturbation"

Summary: With you being the only girl on campus, Leona already had an idea that there would be competition! Luckily for him however, catching you alone at night proved to be his lucky break.

Warning(s): Solo Masturbation (Leona fingers the reader), Teasing, Slight Bullying (I got a thing for Leona being mean man), Fingering, Leona being possessive (in kinda a jealous way tbh).

Side Note(s): Okay so a few things mostly in regards to how I'm going to treat anything I write for TWST from now on. One, I'm going to write as if Night Raven College was an actual college. For the sake of me being confused as to what's what regarding the school system, I gotta do what I gotta do in order to help myself 💀.

Two— y'all I gotta update my yuu oc's sheet. I'm seeing so many fancy ones on here that it's giving me major inspo.

It was hard for him to admit it to himself at first but...Leona Kingscholar had a crush.

Sure, it was easy to say that it was only a matter of time before he gained one on you, especially when you were the only girl on campus but he thought he had more strength of will than that! So many others had a crush on you, too many fools lamenting about how they either wanted to date you or sleep with you. It was becoming annoying at this rate, and at first? Leona couldn't wait to hear the news that Headmaster Crowley had finally found your home and sent you back, just so he could stop hearing students in SavannaClaw constantly groaning about you.

Then it began to divulge into something else.

One class period, strangely enough, you were without your cat. In every class he had shared with you prior, you were always preoccupied with the cat and seemed to feed off his mischief and antics. Like a little duckling trying to mimic every single living thing in order to find its place.

Bothersome.

But he ignored it well enough until he witnessed you being...focused for once. And there, he gained a strange warmth in his chest as he found himself staring, admiring your gracefulness as you sat in your chair and the way you showed a surprising amount of intelligence, one that was usually hidden away by how much you were coddling the only other member of that Ramshackle Dorm. Sure, he didn't have much room to admire nor talk about someone being focused with how little he cared for his classes personally but...there was something regal about you in particular being focused.

But, as quick as he felt that warmth blooming, he snuffed it out.

No way was he entering a pointless rat race for one girl when thousands of other students were competing in the same competition.

Until tonight.

When he found you sitting all on your lonesome inside the Botanical Gardens, reading a book no less.

"Herbivore?" He smirked at how fast you responded to the name he had given you.

You quickly closed the book and stood. "L-Leona?" You gulped. "What are you doing out so late?"

"I could ask the same of you," He rose his brow, his gaze going from the book in your hand to the clothes you were wearing. You looked as if you had just rolled out of bed and decided to walk out of your room. "It's dangerous to be out so late, a lot of predators hunt at night and you're easy prey."

You rolled your eyes, deciding to sit back down on the bench and scoot over enough to allow the prince some room to sit if he wished.

Shockingly, he took the silent offer. "Enough of the animal references," You huffed. "It's safe on this campus, much better than my world where I actually need to be afraid." Leona flicked his ear at your wording, he was tempted to press further on your meaning but...he decided to leave the matter for another time. After all, his original reason for being out here was simple. He felt like going out for a nighttime stroll, feel the cool breeze on his skin and all that and maybe taking a small nap here as well.

With you being here although...his plans started to shift a little.

"A romance book?" You slammed your novel shut when Leona pointed out the genre of your book, a blush quickly appearing on your cheeks as you immediately shot a glare to the prince. "Fairytales don't exist herbivore." He chuckled quietly at the growing red on your face.

"For your information, it's not a fairytale. It's a play!" You huffed. "Romeo and Juliet, a tale of forbidden lovers, do you have anything like that in this world?" The beastman shrugged his shoulders, although he was well-versed in different literatures. Romance and forbidden love stories were never his preferred genre to read, to him? It always felt like something to give to young princesses who were hoping that some tall knight would sweep them off of their feet.

He tsked at the very thought of it. "There are plenty of forbidden love stories in this world. Your little book is probably just as predictable as the next one."

"Oh really?"

He nodded his head. "Let me guess...someone dies in the book? Maybe both of them?"

Leona laughed at your silence, causing you to gently shove at his arm at his confidence. Personally, you wouldn't lie to yourself when you said that the idea of a love story appealed to you, especially more so now that you were in a world where magic and princes existed! Hell, you were talking to one right now! However, as you looked at him through the corner of your vision...he wasn't anything like Romeo. He was arrogant, blunt, and a little bit rude. You hadn't forgotten that his ambitious plan lead to you nearly being ran over during the Spelldrive games!

But despite all that? Those very same attributes...they attracted you all the same.

Suddenly, Leona caught a scent in the air, one that made him breathe deeply before exhaling slowly. "What's going on in that head of yours herbivore?" He questioned with a tilt of his head.

"I'm thinking about when you're going to leave and let me continue reading," You lied through your teeth, causing the prince to smirk as he slowly moved closer to you, still giving you ample room to move away in case you were uncomfortable. Yet...as that scent grew sweeter and more potent, it seemed that you were anything but uncomfortable with his presence. "Really?" He pressed. "Something tells me you're thinking about something else herbivore...perhaps this prince can grant it for you."

You twitched a little when Leona suddenly placed a hand on your thigh. The scent of an earthy soap on his body reached your nostrils and, steadily, you began to feel your mind slipping a little.

Until you remembered, you had to hold strong. "...I'm thinking about how much I want you to get away from me." You continued to try and lie, your futile attempts making the prince's smirk grow even more as he continued to laugh.

"Cute," He scoffed. "You know...if you're honest, I'll reward you really nicely." His hand began to move a little, not traveling either upward or downward but only drawing a circle in your skin with his thumb. Your breathing became heavier, the scent of your growing arousal making the prince feel as if he were sipping on the most delectable wine in all the lands. Still, he wanted to hear a word of consent from you before he proceeded.

"Reward?" You panted, gulping before you gained the courage to look Leona in the eyes where his green orbs seemed to almost glow in the darkness. "What...what reward are you talking about?"

"What fun is there in telling you when I can show you?" His thumb stilled as you considered your response. There was little point in denying it to yourself, you could feel that you were absolutely soaked, your sex twitching in anticipation of Leona's touch whilst you could almost feel yourself drowning in the prince's gaze. You wanted to tell yourself that you had no business having sex with a prince, risking the possibility of developing more of an attachment to this world than you already were. But...it was way too hard to think that way when you so badly wanted to feel his warmth. "Show me." You finally whispered.

Finally, Leona's lips found your own before his hand eagerly moved up to your clothed pussy. He laughed against your lips, parting briefly from you as he licked his lips clean of your sweet-tasting lipstick. "Already this wet for me herbivore? All that talk earlier must've been a heap of lies." He then pressed another kiss to your lips before peppering a trail of kisses down your cheek and to the side of your neck. Oh, he was so tempted to mark you right here and right now in this garden but...Leona willed himself to play the long game rather than try to obtain all of his winnings in one single night. He'd get you addicted to his touch first, getting you to beg and plead for him to take you but, as cruel as it would be, he'd deny you. After all, it was more fun to have you come to him rather than him come to you.

"Ah..." You moaned sweetly, the beastman's ears perking to the sound.

"I-It's because you're so d-damn arrogant..." You said breathlessly before you whined at the feeling of cold air hitting your sex when Leona pulled your underwear to the side. The prince ignored your words, too focused on how you squeaked and shuddered each time he kissed you and especially how you grabbed at his shoulders like a lifeline when he began to touch your twitching sex.

"All this just from talking to me, herbivore?" He then trailed his lips back up to your cheek before whispering in your ear. "How shameless..." He continued to lightly scold you before he dipped a finger inside your pussy, your grip upon his shoulders getting tighter from the action.

"And here you were reading a romance novel...did your precious characters do something like this in that little book of yours?"

You shook your head with a whiney 'no' in response. "Oh?" Leona briefly flashed his teeth as he smiled. "You must've been really eager for something like this to happen then," He continued to whisper in your ear as his finger began to lightly thrust in and out of your pussy, the sound of your moans increasing only making the prince's cock strain harder in his pants. But, for the moment, he'd ignore his own desires in other to please you.

"You have a crush on anyone?" Leona lightly nipped your ear.

He felt his ego grow when you shook your head no, he had a completely blank slate to work off of. To make sure that you got addicted to him and no one else. "My lucky day then...I get a cute lil' herbivore to play around with then. It'd be pretty awkward to fuck you with my fingers before you'd leave and smile in your crush's face next." Then, he curled his finger a little, a whine leaving your lips when he suddenly hit your g-spot. At the sound, Leona began to press into that spot with more accuracy, causing you to wrap your arms around his neck as you pulled him closer to your body.

"L-Leona!" You gasped.

"Tch, you sound like a lioness in heat. All from a little fingering?" He teased. A knot began to form in the pit of your stomach as you continued to clench around Leona's finger at his words, the combination of his typically rude and sarcastic tone mixed with the pleasure he was delivering you making your head spin. Then, Leona added a second finger and his thumb into the mix. The addition of the rubbing against your clit and the increased thickness from the second finger making you whine Leona's name.

He had to hold himself back from cumming in his pants like some teenager at the sound. "F-Fuck—! L-Leona...!" You gasped. "Your fingers...f-feel so good..."

"Yeah?" He placed a surprisingly gentle kiss on your lips. "You're so much more honest when you have a couple of fingers tending to this needy hole of yours, don't you?" He chuckled.

You dumbly nodded your head, your further honesty to his question only making his ego grow as the pace of his thrusts increased. He had to cover your mouth with his hand to help muffle your moans, the feeling of your drool against his palm making the prince hiss at the dirtiness of it all. In this moment, he felt more akin to a thief rather than a prince. Stealing away the purity of the seemingly innocent princess, who was "promised" to her knight. Leona moaned at the thought, and what's more? With the way you called out his name and clung to him like you were begging him to give you pleasure, trying to continue to plead your case for him to give you what you so desperately want, Leona couldn't deny how quickly his desires for you grew.

"So loud herbivore..." He said with an unusually sweet tone as his ears started to move to the sound of your cunt beginning to squelch. Your slick started to stick to Leona's palm and drip down onto the bench, filling the air with the smell of sex as Leona picked up the pace of his fingers even more. "Gonna cum soon? Your drippin'."

You answered with a loud moan as your eyes started to roll to the back of your head while your hips started to thrust onto his fingers in time with his movements. Your cunt tightened around his fingers, making the prince have to put more work into fucking you until...you whined loudly behind his palm, your pussy clenching and unclenching around his fingers rapidly before you finally relaxed as he continued to fuck you through your orgasm.

When you made a noise of discomfort though, he finally removed his fingers.

"Dirty," He mumbled, spreading his fingers as he lewdly played with your slick before finally sticking the digits into his mouth.

You blushed at the sight, weakly turning your head to the side before Leona snickered and made you face him once more. "Next time...let's do this in my dorm room, hm?"

[justwinginglife]

Just For A Summer

Yall this was not supposed to be NSFW but kinda got that way on accident. I’m horny, what of it? LMAO. It is also significantly longer than I had planned and that's because I got lost in Soshiro La-La-Land and couldn't stop writing.

At first, you thought maybe Japan was just a small country. It was an island nation after all. But then you'd started to wonder if maybe something as dramatic as destiny could've brought you constantly colliding with a certain Soshiro Hoshina.

You were on your first vacation in years -a little treat to yourself before you had to return to your real life, your real job, your real responsibilities- and you noticed that the most delicious distraction you could ever have hoped for just happened to keep crossing paths with you on this now-delightful vacation of yours.

"And so we meet again, mysterious lady." He starts walking up to you with a smirk on his face and you return his smirk.

"It appears we do. Did you end up going with the chocolate croissant or the almond croissant?"

He throws his head back and laughs at your astute memory. "A couple days ago, at the bakery? Chocolate. Love me some chocolate."

"So tell me- are you stalking me?" You joke, though honestly unbothered by if he is or not, your sense of logic skewed by your attraction to him.

"Oh baby, if I was pursuing you, I'd do a whole lot better than this."

"Alright, I'm gonna need your name now if I'm going to just keep seeing you everywhere." You tease.

He bows dramatically. "Soshiro Hoshina, at your service."

You give him your best overexaggerated curtsy and introduce yourself as well, earning a grin from him.

"M'lady, what a pleasure it is to finally make your acquaintance." He takes one of your hands and makes a show of pressing a firm kiss to it, his eyes never leaving yours.

It was his idea to have brunch together but you had been just about to propose the idea yourself if he hadn't. You had chalked up the last several meetings with him as coincidence, but you weren't about to let him slip through your fingers again, not this time. Not when he smiled the way he did, not when he laughed the way he did.

It had to mean something, had to be some sign from the universe, that you'd run into him at the aquarium, reached for the same book at the bookstore, almost crashed bikes together in the park, and finally had breakfast right across from him at his favorite cafe the other day. So now you planned on running with this chance that fate had given you.

So there you were, having brunch with a handsome man for the first time in your life. Teasing him about his choice in food. Laughing at his jokes. Soaking in the sound of him laughing at your jokes. Splitting dessert.

In just a few hours, you knew enough about him to know you never wanted to stop knowing him. He wouldn't tell you what he did for work but he told you everything else. You- a complete stranger. He must've thought that you probably wouldn't see him again after this and that there was no harm in spilling every little detail about him. Or maybe he just liked you that much. You intended to find out if he did. You certainly liked him.

You exchange numbers with him as brunch ends, telling him to text you when he needs you, and then you start to walk away. You don't even make it a few steps when your phone beeps in your hand. You look down at it, puzzled.

I need you now.

You turn around and see that the goofiest grin is spread wide across his face.

"Hey. I've got the craziest idea. Spend 24 hours with me."

He's bold, you'll give him that. You literally just officially met a couple hours ago. He could be a serial killer for all you know, you could be a serial killer for all he knows. But something about the gleam in his eyes and the curve of his lips is so tempting. You want to spend more than 24 hours with him. You want to get lost in him. You agree to his preposterous idea in no time at all, thinking to yourself if he is a serial killer you might have to rethink your stance on them.

"Ahh, so you're crazy too, I see. I like that." He says after realizing you're actually serious about his proposal.

He holds a hand out to you. "Shall we go then, m'lady?" His eyebrows wiggle at you playfully.

That elicits a bubbly laugh from you. "After you, m'lord."

He takes your hand and walks you down the street, pointing to places that you need to try during your stay here, and places to avoid, claiming that you're too classy a lady to be seen near them. He barely knows you, he doesn't know if you're classy or not. But you love that he sees you that way. In fact, you're starting to love anything he says.

You listen to him talk to locals, as they offer to buy him dinner and thank him for his service. You're starting to wonder what it is he actually does for work, but you know he's been avoiding it so you don't ask. You just like that everyone around here seems to know him and seems to love him, it further solidifies his good character in your mind.

You wonder if three months will be enough to satisfy your need to know him. You wonder if he'll even let you spend the whole summer with him or if you're just some random interest he picked up today and will drop tomorrow. He did only ask for 24 hours after all.

After spending a whole, wonderful day together, you finally part ways with him at your hotel. You're just walking up to the door when your phone beeps.

I need you again.

You laugh as you turn around to face him not even 60 seconds from when you'd said goodbye to him. "Just can't get enough of me, huh?"

He grins devilishly. "Never. And I seem to remember requesting 24 hours from you... I don't think it's been a full 24 yet."

You blush. "Do you... want to come in?"

His teasing eyes and playful grin suddenly disappear, replaced by a darker, hungrier look. "Oh absolutely."

Your heart hammers in your chest but you attempt to ignore it as you lead him to your hotel room. You never touch the mini bar whenever you go to hotels because they're so expensive, but this time you feel like you're in need of a drink, so you grab one for you and one for him. You're already throwing all sense of logic and ration out the window anyway, spending a full 24 hours with a complete stranger, you think you can allow yourself a drink or two.

After three drinks and lots of heavy flirting, he finally makes a move.

"Took you long enough," You murmur against the heat of his lips.

"Apologies, I'll do better next time." He laughs and then pulls you onto his lap, kissing you deeper.

His tongue snakes its way into your mouth, hungrily claiming everything in its path. You moan into him and the sound involuntarily makes him clench his hands around your hips tighter.

Then you start to feel the roughness of his erection against your mound, his desire made evident even through layers of clothing. You roll your hips forward and engage it with friction. The sensation makes him hiss as he anchors himself on the crook of your neck, breathing heavily.

He pulses underneath you and the delicious movement in between your legs is enough to get you desperate to rip down your dripping panties. It's like he knows what you're thinking because he lifts you up with one arm and with the other he yanks down your pants, hooking your underwear as well, in one smooth motion. Then he settles you on top of him again.

"I'm a gentleman, I don't make my women undress themselves." He growls against your neck, sucking at it before tearing off your shirt and unclipping your bra.

"I'm going to make you forget you ever had other women." You shove him down on the bed and though he's surprised, he's clearly pleased.

Then you sink between his knees and start to lick a trail up and down his length, teasing his tip with a nip here and there. You start gently sucking an inch at a time until finally you're choking back his full erection. You pull away suddenly and he has to bite back a whine at the absence of your mouth.

He watches you intensely, trying to figure out your next move, then he groans against his fist when he sees you dragging your hand roughly along your moist folds, coating it in your own slick. Then you pump his cock up and down in your wet hand, rubbing your thumb aggressively across his swollen end. His precum oozes down your palm and you lick it off when you pull away yet again.

He thinks he might just yank you onto his dick at this point if you keep teasing him. But you're desperate for him too. You start to straddle him and he bites his lip in anticipation. Then you begin grinding your cunt against the length of his cock, not allowing him inside you just yet, but not letting him forget how wet you are.

"Are ya gonna do everything to my dick except fuck it? Goddamn." He grumbles, though flushed and breathing heavy.

"Saved the best for last, baby."

Then you give him what he wants. You plunge his cock into your depths and a moan rumbles low in his throat as your walls clench around him. He grabs hold of your hips and jerks you up and down, almost choking at the sight of your bouncing breasts as you continue to ride him. A hand leaves your hip and cups one of them, giving it a good squeeze. His thumb drags back and forth across your peaked nipple, causing you to soak his cock further.

"You're so fucking perfect, I can't take it anymore." He yanks you closer to him and starts slamming his hips upwards, thrusting into you with a speed and intensity that gets you screaming his name.

You're not one to hook up casually. You're not one to throw yourself away for one person. You have a good job, a good life- a life that's waiting for you to come back to it, just across the sea. But you're starting to forget all sense of who you were before this man came and ruined your life- ruined you. You need him to ruin you. You need him to bury himself deep inside you and cream every inch of your quivering cunt. You want to milk him dry and leave him shuddering beneath you.

And you do. Over and over again.

It's the best high of your life, orgasming against his muscled chest as he floods you with his seed. And then again in the shower when you try to clean yourself up. And then again on the couch when you try to watch TV together. And then eventually it's 5 in the morning and you're still fucking on the floor like you're both touch starved.

He pants on top of your back, kissing at your shoulder as he finishes fucking you from behind this time. Your knees dig into the floor as his cum spurts out in erratic bursts, sloshing against the cum that's still inside you from the last several times. "Fuuuck. How many times does that make now? You're going to drive me crazy."

"Oh I'm going to, huh? I'd say you're already there considering half of the times we went at it were your idea."

He pulls out and collapses on the ground beside you, his breaths heaving in his chest. "Don't say that like you aren't just as horny as I am, who was the one fucking my face with their pussy when I thought I'd try and take a nap?"

You roll over to him, giggling as you snuggle against his side.

He wraps an arm around you, pulling you closer as he kisses the top of your head. "I say we just pass out here on the floor. Get some Z's finally."

You poke his nose disapprovingly. "That's gonna break your back and I wanted to be the one to break it. Get on the bed with me and cuddle me to sleep."

He mumbles his agreement and the two of you pull your aching bodies off the floor, not even bothering to wash up this time. You know you'll just get horny if you shower together. Again.

You lazily wipe a towel in between your legs and then sink into bed next to him. It takes you a moment to fall asleep because he knocks out almost immediately and you've never seen him sleep before so you're intrigued. You watch as his lips part to let out slow, rhythmic breaths. You're tempted to kiss him again but the sound of his gentle breathing lulls you to sleep. And it's the best sleep you've ever had.

The next morning you find he's not in bed with you and you're significantly more hurt than you expected but the stinging subsides quickly when you see him sneaking back into the room with a platter full of food.

"Trying not to wake me?" You ask, stretching as you yawn.

"Trying to surprise you but you kind of ruined that." He shoots back with a teasing grin.

The two of you bond some more over breakfast, as you spoon feed him and he cleans leftover food off your face with his tongue.

He eventually has to leave for work but he promises he'll visit you again, saying he had too much fun not to come back.

The rest of the summer is the same- the two of you steal whatever time you can from each other, lost in your own world, forgetting that anyone else even exists.

You told him about your job, about your family, about your whole life, and he listened to every second with increasing interest, even getting annoyed on your behalf when you'd run through your list of ex's with him and what happened with each one. He'd eventually given in and told you what he did for work too, and you kept mock saluting him the rest of the day. After the fifth time calling him Vice Captain, he'd pinned you to the bed, growling "It's Soshiro" to which you giggled.

You'd also shown him your gigantic list of every tourist spot you'd ever wanted to visit in Japan, reassuring him that it was fine if he didn't have time to take you to all of them but he took you everywhere you wanted and more- showing you a few secret spots he'd found himself.

Once, he took you for a boat ride and when you'd almost drowned, he dove in fully clothed to save you. He teased you afterwards about your inability to swim, but you noticed he always had a careful eye on you and one hand around your waist after that and it made you smile.

You even met his brother, completely on accident. You're sure he didn't intend on introducing a summer fling to his family but it happened all the same. And when he bit his lip as you eyed his brother, you were tempted to tease him about the jealousy. But you didn't. You savored the feeling of him not wanting to share you with anyone else. Even for just a moment, even if it was delusional, you were his alone and you enjoyed it.

But then everything you'd been avoiding for three months came crashing down on you suddenly when you realized you only had a couple days left in Japan. If he remembered that your time was coming to an end, he didn't let on because he acted the same as he always did. You thought maybe he'd plead for you to stay, or even just joke around and try to convince you that the food here was better anyway. But he didn't and the longer this went on, the more you realized you must've misjudged how he felt about you. You were just a summer fling after all and you couldn't make yourself mean more to him than you actually did.

Eventually the dreaded day comes and he's nowhere to be found. He won't answer your calls or your texts. It's like he never even existed in the first place. Like he was some figment of your imagination, a little slice of heaven you'd made up in your mind.

Your lungs are thick with shock, every breath coming out panicked and heavy. Part of you demanded to know where he was. You needed to see him. To tell him how you felt. To say thank you for a wonderful summer. To just say goodbye at the very least. But part of you had accepted this fate. What right did you have to his heart? It'd only been three months after all. You'd promised him nothing and he'd promised you nothing. The sum of your three months was just that- nothing.

And now that you were in the cab, riding away from the hotel where you'd spent many wonderful nights in his wonderful arms, the weight of that nothing was hitting you hard.

You arrive at the airport, stumbling as you drag your lifeless body out of the car. The airport doors open for you and you step through in a daze. You don't even remember getting on the plane but suddenly you look down and your seatbelt is fastened, ready for the flight home. Home. You don't even remember what home feels like anymore.

A flight attendant comes up to you to tell you to turn your phone off. You slide your thumb up to the power button and then your phone beeps. Tears burst from your eyes as you see the messages that are flooding the screen.

You said to text when I need you.

I need you.

Come back to me.

And then suddenly you're yanking your seatbelt off, your bag flying behind you as you bolt out of the plane. Everyone stares at you as you sprint through the airport like a madwoman. You ignore them and you ignore the burning in your lungs as they try to catch up with the beating of your heart.

And then suddenly there he is, standing in the doorway of the airport, arms spread wide for you, smiling through his tears.

You run into his arms and finally, you remember what home feels like.

[mysticmilks]

Dark rise 3 theories

Just finished the first and second book in one go, and want to write down my raw theories, until I forgot them.

Sun King is BAD (shock to no one). A pretty obvious one tbh — we never saw his face, Sarcean said he'd done some 'dark deeds' for him, but no one remembers him, saying he just 'disappeared'. I call it Suspicious. Maybe he even was the one who ordered the creation of the cup to enslave other Kings

Sun King is either related to Sarcean or to James (kinda don't feel like using his nickname). Either older brother or father. My bet goes on the older brother of Sarcean (but my secret wish is that he's the Father of James (to make ALL of his father figures assholes)). But probably we haven't seen his face exactly because he looks very similar to Will/Sarcean. 

Sinclair either knows that about Sun King, or, more likely, he is Sun King Reborn (or Sun King possessing someone's body). That would also make him manipulating James especially horrible.

If Sinclair is Sun King, that might explain WHY there were false beliefs that the Collar would make James obey to whoever put it on him. If James and Sarcean knew that Sun King/Lady also can return it would be a nice trick to make them seek to put the Collar on James instead of killing James and/or destroying the Collar 

Lady is probably also not as Good as everyone thinks, she is a Grey Character, way too obsessed with the idea of defeating Sarcean, or she is fully Bad, maybe even manipulating her husband Sun King 

White death is connected to Lady (also a pretty obvious one), cause she is the one who killed Kathleen and sent Sandy back. (Why she can't travel in time herself is an interesting question)

Collar, collar, collar. It's currently revealed that the Collar does at least two things — shares Will's powers with James (Will felt the cold exactly the moment James puts the Collar on, and James can do powerful magic even after opening the Gates), and gives James his past life's memories back. So... it would be a bit strange to give such protective powers to the object that was meant to enslave James. So probably it doesn't control James in the way that he (and us) thought.

Maybe the Collar was meant to protect James from mind-control, and enslavement of the Sun King/Lady. (But my bet goes on Lady, because of the scene when Sarcean was arrested — he said "You called" as if she somehow enchanted him). Maybe if he is 'bonded' by Collar to Sarcean/Will no one else can control him -> hence inability to take it off.

Maybe that's why James felt such a compulsion to put it on, when he is near Will, cause deep down he felt that the Collar would protect him, instead of enslave him

Maybe the whole 'Dark King forced him to lay near his throne' was part of the lie, to convince everyone else that that's what's going on, so in the next life someone is tempted to put it on James, so James can get both his memories and power boost.

Then we have 'I will always find you, try to run'... It's definitely not just a phase, maybe it indicates the message that James sends in that scene, something like "If you run, I'll find you and join you", or, more likely, that later he did find Sarcean, and maybe Sarcean explained something to him, which made James switch sides

Almost forgot. I have a theory that Sarcean / James were childhood friends, and Sarcean was pining for him since forever. Maybe Sun King knew that and did something to make their relationship impossible, maybe 'promoted' James to position where he's not allowed to have 'boyfriends'

[illarian-rambling]

Thanks for the tag @mysticstarlightduck!

OC Deep Dive 🦾🎀

Let's do a two for one with Astra and Mashal :)

What uncommon/common fear do they have?

Hm, that's a tough one. Astra doesn't scare easily when it comes to physical things. I'd say failure is a big fear of hers, or letting down the people she loves.

It's bugs. Ignoring all the existential stuff, Mashal is terrified of bugs. Spiders especially, but anything that crawls makes him uncomfortable. The other big one is losing his humanity.

Do they have any pet peeves?

People who talk down to her will set Astra off like a firecracker. She's had more than enough of that in her time. People who are willing ignorant also piss her off, especially if that ignorance hurts others.

As a former army brat, Mashal does get a little tetchy around messy spaces. He won't get on people about it, but he will clean up unprompted. He also can't stand bullies or anyone who hurts people for their own gain.

What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom?

A full chemistry set, lots of scrap fabric, and way too many fancy pillows.

He doesn't sleep, so he doesn't have a bedroom, but if he did, it would have a sketchbook, some candles he can stare at while meditating, and a few practice swords hung on the wall.

What do they notice first in a person?

Their clothes, I'd say. Astra can tell a lot about a person by what they wear and how they care for their garments. Also, their sense of fashion can be telling.

I think as an artist, Mashal picks up on unique features first. A crooked jaw, especially beautiful eyes, an unusual expression - anything that makes someone stand out. Consequently, he's also just good at remembering faces in general.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance?

A six, but she thinks it's a nine. She also carries the fantasy equivalent of those berserker mushrooms at all times, so if she's hurt, she'll do drugs about it and keep going.

He has no sense of pain as a robot, but if he's ever returned to his human form, it's gonna be a rude awakening the first time he stubs his toe on something.

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure? (I'm also including freeze and fawn)

It kinda depends. If her friends are with her, she'll tend towards fight. If she's alone though, she often freezes up.

Fight, all the way. In moments of stress, Mashal's brain will all but shut off as he starts swinging.

Do they come from a big family/are they a family person?

Astra's family is just her and her two moms, but she loves them dearly. Every cent she makes goes towards paying off their debtor contracts, and she writes them frequently.

Mashal doesn't remember his family. He assumes his parents are alive and he's pretty sure he has an older brother, but anything more than that is a mystery. He hopes to find them someday once he's human again.

What animal represents them best?

I'm tempted to go with a black cat solely because she's a witch, but I feel like she's more high energy than that. In that case, maybe some sort of monkey? Clever, curious, loud, and a little vicious.

A horse, I think. Some sort of retired warhorse that likes to run and nuzzle your hair, but will kick if you get too close.

What is a smell that they dislike?

Formaldehyde. It gives her headaches.

He has no sense of smell :(

Have they broken any bones?

Yup. She broke her arm at the end of book one and has broken a few fingers in the past when she wasn't careful enough with her tinkering.

He has no bones :(

(Mashal doesn't remember, but as a boy, he did fracture his skull when he fell down a flight of stairs. He also broke the same ankle twice during sparring. His squad did tease him for this.)

How would a stranger likely describe them?

"Oh gods, what an outfit she had! I don't think I've ever seen that many colors on one garment, and she must've sewn half the ribbons from here to Yewbury into the lining. The embroidery was fantastic. It was loud enough you hardly noticed the woman wearing it. She was pretty short, I think. I wanna say she was mixed Skolander and Shuari, given the dark curls and blue eyes. Her skin was kind of an amber brown, but she had these pale splotches under her eyes and mouth. Vitiligo, I think? Her makeup was also quite loud, but somehow matched the outfit. There was just a lot going on there, in general."

"Damn, I don't think I've ever seen a robot in these parts. The fucker was huge, had to be close to seven feet tall. Kinda scary looking, to be honest, with those glowing white eyes. But, I don't know, he seemed nice. His face didn't seem like it moved much, but he looked like he was smiling. He was wearing very heavy clothing with a bandana over his head. The only bronze uncovered was his face and hands. I would've thought he was sick in the head wearing such heavy clothes in this heat, except, well, I guess a robot wouldn't care about that."

Are they a night owl or an early bird?

Very much a night owl, verging on actual insomnia. Getting up before 11 is a herculean trial.

He doesn't sleep, but if he did, he'd be an early bird. Man is ready for bed at 9:30 sharp.

What is a flavour they hate and a flavour they love?

Astra hates the taste of rice. As a kid, that was basically all she had to eat in the summers and she would frequently come down with pellagra because she was so malnourished. A flavor she loves is barbecue. She's from the fantasy south, so I think this one is self-explanatory.

He has no sense of taste, but from vibes alone, he knows he definitely has a sweet tooth.

Do they have any hobbies?

Really, she's good with any type of fiber art, but Astra loves to embroider. All her clothes sport little bits of embroidery. I'm also going to say magic because she loves it even though it's her job.

Mashal enjoys art, usually with a pencil, but he branches out into paint sometimes. He also likes to read. Any genre is fine, so long as it's fiction and not too dark. I feel like he'd love anime if it existed on Illaros for some reason.

Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprises?

She'd definitely jump, then complain about why it had to be a secret because she already knew what she wanted to do for her birthday. Even so, she would be very appreciative of the effort.

Mashal has no idea when his birthday is, so it'd be a double surprise for him if someone popped out and declared that today's the day. After making sure they're not just fucking with him, he'd get quite teary (not actually, but the vibe is there), thank them profusely, and spend the rest of the night being told to sit down and quit trying to take care of things, this is your party, damnit!

Do they like to wear jewelry?

Yes. Astra always has some earrings on and frequently wears rings and bracelets. Most of this is costume jewelry.

Gold jewelry is very important in Sulu'Okan culture, so he definitely would, he just can't afford any right now.

Do they have neat or messy handwriting?

Surprisingly neat. She writes in full, founding father cursive.

Surprisingly messy. He tends towards chicken scratch.

What are the two emotions they feel the most?

Indignation and the desire to help.

Protectiveness and fury.

Do they have a favourite fabric?

Astra could rank every fabric ever on a numbered scale, but I think her all-time favorite is satin.

He honestly has no opinion on this, so he'd probably just say satin also. My man doesn't know burlap from chiffon, give him a break.

What kind of accent do they have?

Lol, read any of her dialog and it's obvious. Astra has a strong southern accent, more similar to a Georgia drawl than some Texas twang.

Honestly, Mashal is my one character that I feel has no accent (aka same accent as me), so I guess upper south. He does speak very softly, though, and has a bit of a stutter at times. His voice also tends to go static when he yells.

I'll tag @willtheweaver @theink-stainedfolk @kaylinalexanderbooks @nczaversnick @watermeezer and anyone else who wants to play :)

[spookyspecterino]

hey, I love your writing so much!!! pls can we have a fic of the moment sam realises he is in love with the captain 🥺 I imagine he’d probs suppress his feelings in the beginning out of concern for cora but has a moment where he realises & wants to say something but doesn’t know how 😭

I know this ask is a few months old and I'm so sorry it's taken me this long to get here. My motivation has been rock bottom these last few months lately.

I did the ol "5 times this man thinks he's in love with you and the first time he tells you" kinda deal. Hope you like it <3

GN!Dusty/Captain x Sam Coe | No warnings, it's all fluff

The first time Sam thought he might be in love with his Captain was when he saw them picking up books from a dusty library in an abandoned facility. The old things were practically falling out of your arms, scattering across the floor, and undoubtedly slowing you down.

He picks up the books you’ve dropped, following behind you as you try and make room in your outfit.

“What’re these for?” He asks, holding them patiently as you stuff a book (or two) into your belt.

“If I told you, you’d think I’m a softie.”

“Oh no…” Sam laughs. “You’re spoiling her.”

Your smile isn’t as well hidden as you think. “I’m aiding her education.”

“She’s already taking college level classes.” He hands you another book and watches as you shove it down your shirt.

“It’s either this or giving her money. And no, I won’t take neither as an option.”

“Didn’t think you would.”

He opens his mouth to say more, maybe to scold you for trying to break your back. But something in your eyes stops him, it’s a certain glitter and that little quirk of a smile. It’s enough to drive him crazy and instead of allowing himself to smile he looks away.

“Ok, I’m good.” You slowly stand up straight, swaying a little and trying to balance the added weight. “Let’s get out of here.”

His rough sounding retort is perhaps a shield for himself. A carefully constructed wall. “Just don’t make me carry you out of here if you end up breaking an ankle.”

Your laugh makes it all the harder. “Oh, yee of little faith.” A pause, maybe a heartbeat in length. “You wouldn’t heroically carry your captain out of here?”

He still won’t look at you. “With all those books? I’d break my back.”

“Don’t lie, you’d do it.”

He shakes his head, turning himself around to check behind. The facility was empty, completely cleared, he was doing it so you didn’t see his grin.

- - -

The second time Sam thought he might be in love with his Captain was when he slammed his fist down on the comms console, ending a fight with Lillian. He leans over the flashing board, closing his eyes to shut it all out. To try and regain some notion of control.

Another button lights up—it’s Lillian, calling back to have the final word. As she usually does. He can’t do this anymore and he doesn’t know how to say it. He’s about to press that button, about to let her have the final word just so he can get some goddamn rest, when a hand on his shoulder stops him.

“Hey.”

It’s you. Amazing, wonderful, infuriating you. Always here when he needs you the most and always here to complicate his feelings more.

“She just…” He spits out, finger resting on the button. A little push would open the comms with Lillian again.

“Yeah, I know.” You wrap your arm around his shoulder. Not quite a hug, but still supportive. “Want me to talk to her?”

To your absolute credit it makes him chuckle, albeit a little dryly. “What would you say?”

“Roadkill Cafe. You kill it, we grill it!”

He removes his finger from the button, turning to look at you from over his shoulder. “What?”

“Mhm. Oh, my other favorite one is ‘Mule Barn. Head ass speaking!’ Just to really throw her off.”

It’s so absurd he genuinely laughs. “I’m almost tempted to let you, just to see what she would say.”

“She’d probably hang up.” You lean against him—god you’re warm. “Problem solved.”

Rubbing a hand over his face he can’t help but smile. “Don’t teach Cora any of those or that’s all she’ll ever answer with.”

“Well…”

“Don’t.” He playfully pushes into you. Your other hand wraps around him, it’s officially a hug now.

“Ok, I won’t. Scout’s honor.”

Seconds pass in silence. Sam stands in your embrace, not wanting to leave but also feeling his carefully constructed walls beginning to crumble.

“I’m gonna—” He starts, but you’re also speaking.

“Why don’t—”

Something hangs in the air, something unspoken.

Removing your arms but keeping one hand on his back you step around, flicking a few switches. The comms panel goes dark. The flashing light that is Lillian’s call blinks out with finality.

“I’m gonna take over the watch. Go get some sleep.”

“Alright.”

Sam leaves without another word. He has to, or he might say something ridiculous.

- - -

The third time he wasn’t even aware of it.

“I really do not understand your jokes, Sam.” Andreja grumbles. “Or why the captain is laughing at every single one.”

Sam scratches his beard, trying to control himself. Next to him, you’re doubled over in your chair still laughing. “You have no sense of humor, that’s all.”

“I have humor.”

“She does.” You add in, recovering. “Just when it’s about dead stuff or killing. Dad jokes aren’t her thing.”

Andreja gives Sam a triumphant look.

“Ok, ok.” Sam holds up a hand. “I’ve got another one.”

The way you lean in with a growing smile makes him pause for effect, his own smile matching yours. “Today, my son asked, ‘Can I have a bookmark?’ I burst into tears—11 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is Brian.”

And you’re back to laughing, just like that. Head thrown back and everything. The lodge is full with the sound of you. Sam can’t get enough.

“I do not understand. You do not have a son—” Andreja is looking between you and Sam, who is laughing purely from your reaction.

From the upstairs railing, Barrett leans over. “I’m not impressed, Sam. Real bottom of the barrel stuff.”

“Then why is the captain laughing so hard?” Sam calls back up to the man, motioning to you, who is still wheezing.

Barrett shakes his head. As he walks back to his room, Sam can barely hear him. “You know why.”

- - -

Sam’s walls are carefully constructed for a number of reasons. 1) He was a ranger and that’s how it’s meant to be, you can’t let anyone in and that’s a lesson that’s stuck with him; 2) he has Cora, a little girl who has enough instability in her life. She doesn’t need any more; and 3) once the wall is down it might take years to put it back up, and he just doesn’t have the time or luxury to deal with that.

But goddamn is it hard to keep the bricks together around you.

You have this way of finding a hole, an imperfection, and tunneling straight through. The universe must have sent you to him with a sledgehammer in the back of your pocket.

“Oh, oh! This is my favorite part!”

Sam didn’t even mean to start sharing his music with you. It just came up. And then you both started singing.

He’s full of this euphoria that he only feels when he and Cora do something together. And he hates it, he hates how he can’t control it either, how it bubbles to the surface when you’re around. It fills him with so much fucking joy he can’t stand it.

Every attempt at patching the hole, the little tunnel you’ve made for yourself, is subverted by you finding somewhere else to slip in. Another crack that erodes away just enough for you to fit through. His gruff words, attempts at distance, or even talking about Lillian are all met with the most heartwarming support. It really breaks a man down. Are you even aware of that? Are you aware of what you’re doing to him?

Your voice rises to a pitch that’s too high for you and it crackles with effort. Without even thinking, Sam takes the lower tone, going so deep that his throat burns. You both sound like howling lunatics. But Sam isn’t embarrassed, it feels nice.

Goddamn it—it feels great.

Something in the back of his mind urges him to pull away, to leave, to say something belittling, but he can’t bring himself to do it with the way you’re grinning and acting. Playing out the song like you’re in the band that sings it, with a touch of dramatic flare that has his mind reeling.

Another thought strikes him as he pretends to take the imaginary microphone from you and belt out the lyrics. You cheer him on singing another note that’s way too high and laughing when your voice cracks.

Maybe feeling this way isn’t a bad thing.

- - -

The fifth instance couldn’t come at a more inconvenient time.

“Reload!”

Sam picks up another missile battery and slots it into the back of the literal cannon on your shoulder. “Ready!”

Your finger pulls the trigger and the weapon hums, heating up. It grows louder on the verge of firing, and Sam presses himself against you to avoid any blowback.

The recoil is enough to jolt you both and he holds you steady. Somewhere in the distance, an explosion rocks the Spacer compound.

“Ha! How ya like that, assholes?!”

“Is taunting them the best idea?” He pulls out another battery as you both scramble back behind cover.

“You know I can’t help it, Sam.” You pant, looking absolutely alive.

He laughs, despite the knot in his stomach. “Yeah. Silly question.”

“You want to see something else silly?”

He catches the absolutely insane look in your eye and is shaking his head. “No! No, I really—"

But you’re gone after that, darting out from behind cover and sprinting toward the line of spacers.

That knot in his stomach flips and twists until all of his insides are writhing. Bullets, lasers, and everything the Spacers have are thrown your way and all Sam can do is just watch.

You’re somehow unscathed as you make it to where the Spacers are crouched. Sam is about to join you when he sees movement from rafter above. No less than four grenades are hurled at you. He stands trying to shout, but the explosion cuts him off.

It’s dead silent after. Nothing moves except the debris falling.

The spacers above retreat further into the building. Sam is up as fast as his legs can manage, even stumbling as his feet scramble over one another.

A number of horrible, gut-wrenching images flash behind his eyes as he sprints to where he last saw you. He wasn’t sure what he would find, and if he cared any less for you, he may not have lunged into action so quickly. But he did. He cared a whole hell of a lot.

When he reaches the place he saw you duck down, around some flimsy metal pieces of machinery, he sees the black scorch marks from the blast. He sees the remains of the spacers that were there a few moments ago. And he sees a dead body—for a spilt second Sam thinks this is you, but the suit colors are wrong.

It’s not you.

The body shifts and is moved to the side.

You’re underneath. Miraculously in one piece.

“Do I still have my legs?” You ask, breathless and wide-eyed.

“Yeah…” Sam is trembling, just staring at you.

You notice his strange stare. Uncertainty and a hint of fear colors your voice. “Am I missing anything else?”

“No.”

“Then why the hell are you looking at me like that?”

Because he almost lost you. Because for a few seconds he thought you were dead, and the idea of that was too much for him to imagine.

Because he loves you. He loves you, he loves you, he loves you.

“I…” He starts, completely overwhelmed.

His world was overturning, a flurry of emotions threatened to give him whiplash. He wanted to hug you, he wanted to yell at you, he wanted to laugh and cry and scream, he wanted to devour you and leave nothing for anyone else.

Propping yourself up on your elbows, you give Sam a once-over. “Are you ok?”

“Don’t…” He lets out a trembling breath. “Don’t do that again.”

- - -

It’s a normal day, a particularly boring one too, when he finally tells you.

He finds you sitting at the flight deck, reading. You don’t notice him, so enveloped in your book that the outside world isn’t a concern. You must be reading a particularly intense part; your brow is furrowed and your lips twist in that peculiar way they do when you concentrate. If he said it now, revealed the deepest—most secret—part of himself, would you even notice?

“What’s up, Sam?” You look up at him as you turn a page.

“Didn’t mean to disturb you…” he drawls. It’s a partial lie.

You keep the book open, turning it over and using your knee as a bookmark. “You’re not.” Your smile is reassuring. What’s going on?”

For a moment, he thinks about dropping it. Retreating back to that status quo, something comfortable. Back behind his walls—the walls that were barely there now, riddled with holes and gaps. You’d done your work on him.

“I uh…I needed to get something off my chest.”

You take the book and close it completely, setting it on the console. “Ok, go ahead.”

The carefully crafted list of talking points Sam had circled like angry bees in his head. He was never really a talking points kind of guy, so he threw them all out and decided to wing it instead.

“During the last fight, in the spacer compound, you were a dumbass.”

That wasn’t exactly the best way to phrase it, and he knew that. Strong start, moron.

You only smile patiently at him. “I like your honesty.”

“Well…my point to that is, after traveling with you—fighting by your side—picking up books for Cora, that she doesn’t need…” He struggles, hands moving to try and articulate what he wasn’t capable of. “I’ve come to—to not only respect you, even when you make crazy, dangerous decisions, but…”

He swallows, but finds his throat is completely dry. “I—you…” He groans, and every coherent thought flies from his mind. “You make me crazy, in the best way. I never know what’s coming next and I love that. You care for Cora, when that’s not your responsibility—you help me through all the shit with Lillian, when it’s not your problem.” He spreads his arms out. “And when you throw yourself into danger like that, I feel like I’m on the verge of losing everything.”

Your face is soft. Vulnerable. Maybe he’s gotten through to you, but he needs to say it. He won’t rest until he says it.

“You are my everything.”

Why can’t he come out and say it?

“Sam Coe.” You stand from your chair. “Are you in love with me?”

“Yes.” His answer comes out in a great whoosh of breath. This weight that’s been pressing on his chest for months is gone. He can breathe. And suddenly he can say it.

“I’m in love with you. I’ve been trying to hide it, rationalize it away, or just ignore it, but I can’t. Not anymore, not if you’re going to keep throwing yourself into grenades.”

“I won’t do that anymore.”

“You swear? Because I am too old to go through that again, next time it might kill me.”

“I swear.” You move closer to him. “When did you fall in love with me?”

Sam chuckles, scratching his neck. At this point he doesn’t register you haven’t said anything about your own feelings back to him. “When you were trying to break your back carrying all those books for Cora.”

“That feels like a lifetime ago.”

“Yeah.” He shifts his weight. “I don’t want to cause any kind of a rift between us—I really just needed to tell you how I felt.”

“I’m glad you did.” You pause, looking down at your hands. “Because this creates a pretty big conflict of interest.”

“What?”

“Well, you see, I was actually going to ask Lillian out—”

“Please tell me you’re fucking joking.”

“—and adopt Cora—”

“You’re playing a joke on me. I know you are; I can see you starting to smile.”

“—we’d all move in with Jacob—”

“For Christ sakes, you’re laughing, give it up.”

“—one big, happy—” You bust out in laughter, almost doubling over as Sam shakes his head.

He’s trying not to laugh as he turns to leave. You grab his coat sleeve. “Wait, wait. I’m sorry, you just—your face was—"

“I tell you I love you and you make that joke?” He looks down at you, holding your arms and bringing you closer to him. “Unbelievable.”

“Sorry, sorry. I couldn’t help it.” You lean your head into his chest. Your voice is muffled. “I love you too.”

“What was that?”

“I love you too.”

He leans his head down. With your face still in his chest you can’t see his shit eating grin. “Didn’t catch that. One more time?”

You look up, gritting your teeth and trying not to yell. “I. Love. You. Too."

Your faces are very close together now, a hair’s width apart. Sam is still grinning. He opens his mouth slowly.

“Sam.” You warn. “I’ll never say it again.”

“I’m going to call you on that bluff.”

You caress the side of his face before giving it a light tap. “Funny.”

“You love my jokes.”

The noise you make as you pass him is less than satisfactory. It has him trailing after you further into the ship.

“What does that mean?”

“You know what it means.”

He trails you all the way to your quarters and through the door as you invite him in.

[ohbloggerimagines]

HELLO

First of all the way you write rocket is genuinely amazing. Eating up everything you put up on your page with him.

And second, i was wondering if you would be ok with writing rocket x reader where reader comes out as asexual to him. And at first Rocket thinks the problem is him and the way he looks but the reader explains that there's nothing wrong to his looks, it's just how they are.

A little hurt comfort maybe where it's just a misunderstanding.

Hope you are having a good day and thank you

Here you go <3 I really hope this is kinda what you were thinking because I got VERY carried away

and if i implied anything in a bad way im sorry ;;

pairing: rocket raccoon x fem!reader

word count: 2,788

tags: gotg, rocket raccoon x reader, asexual, fem! reader, angst, swearing

You sat on the large couch in the common area, re-reading the book you had read probably hundreds of times at this point. You could hear the laughter of Peter and Rocket from the front of the ship, and every now and then the sounds of someone walking around on the upper decks. 

“I’ll be right back, Pete.” You heard Rocket say, your eyes lifting from your book as you heard him making his way to where you were. “Hey sweets.” Rocket said, taking his usual spot next to you, “Hey Rocky.” You smiled, looking over at him. “That damn book again? You’ve just about ruined it for yourself haven’t you?” He chuckled, “No, no. It still reads the same way it did as when I first picked it up.” 

You could tell by his eyes, he wanted something.

“Aren’t you supposed to be helping Peter, you know, steer and navigate and what not?” You asked, raising a brow at him. “Well,” He said quietly, scooting closer to you, “Pete’s got it.. I have some time,” He started, hand placed on your thigh and slowly creeping upwards. Your breath hitched, “Oh, uh, you know, not right now, Rocket. Maybe later tonight..” You said, seeing the disappointment in his face, his ears twitched ever so slightly. He pulled his hand away. “Alright.” He said, leaning back into the cushion. “That’s what you said every other night..” He mumbled, standing back up almost as soon as he was getting comfortable. “Rock-” You started, almost tempted to reach out to him. “No, I get it, it’s fine. Y’know Peter probably needs me anyway, gotta help him with his shit all the time.” He huffed, feigning a smile. You opened your mouth to try and stop him, but he just stared at you. You closed your lips, eyes darting back down to the book, listening to his footsteps almost hurrying back to the pilot area. 

You dropped the book into your lap, hands cupping your face as you sighed heavily, trying not to cry. How were you going to tell him? 

-

“I just don’t get it, man.” Peter shrugged, glancing over at the slightly irritated raccoon. “Why don’t you just ask her what's up?” “I don’t think it's that easy, Pete.” Rocket huffed, staring out into the darkness of space. “I mean, everyone has needs, she’s gotta come around to it eventually, right? I mean, yeah it's a little weird, y’know, you being a raccoon and all and she’s-” Peter felt the side eye from Rocket, “But she likes or loves you or whatever, soo..” “How do you do it?” Rocket asks, Peter raising a brow. “You boast about all these women you’ve been with, including Gamora, how do you get them to, y’know..” His voice trailed off, almost embarrassed to be asking this damn question. Peter snickered, “How do I get them in bed with me? Now Rocket, that is private information that I don’t think I want to share with you.” He teased, “But, I guess it’s just my charm.” When Peter didn’t get a response from the normally snappy raccoon, his eyebrows almost softened, feeling bad for his best friend. 

“Look man, you gotta flirt with her and shit. Don’t be such an asshole all the time, like, tell her how beautiful she is, compliment her and stuff.” Peter shrugged, “I do!” Rocket threw his arms up, “Or at least I think I do. Am I that much of an asshole that she won’t even sleep with me? I mean I’ve tried, I’ve made moves, we sleep in the same damn bed half the time! She just rolls away or mumbles ‘not tonight’ again and again. Why the hell are you humies so stuck up sometimes?!”

Peter glanced over at him, doing one of those half ass-white Terran smiles. Peter was catching on to what you were feeling. 

“What?” “Nothing, nothing.” Peter shook his head, eyes back on the literal space in front of him. 

“You’re no help either, dammit.” He hopped out of his chair, “I’m going to talk to Drax.” Rocket waved his paw at Peter, climbing the ladder to the next level up.

Peter shook his head, thinking he had to go talk to you to try and figure this out and help his friend if he could.

-

“Drax!” Rocket banged on the large metal door, sliding open to reveal the tall, muscular man who resided behind it. “Yes?’ Drax asked, almost confused as to what Rocket could possibly need from him right now. 

“Gotta talk to you.” The raccoon said, sliding past Drax, “And close the damn door, I don’t need anyone, especially Y/N to hear.” He relaxed hearing the metals connect to the closing door. 

“So,” Drax started, 

“How do you get a woman in bed?” 

Rocket asked flatly, almost catching Drax off guard. “You came in here to ask me how to make love to a woman?” “No no, Jesus, not make love, I can do that shit, but how do you convince her in the first place? I mean you had a kid, obviously you know what you’re doing.” Drax sat on his bed, watching Rocket climb into the chair across from him. “You’re trying to have sex with Y/N?” “Yes! Duh, who the hell else? But she just..won’t.” Rocket shrugged, swaying side to side in the chair, “Well when I met my wife..” Drax trailed off, thinking for a moment about her. “We fell in love, and made our beautiful daughter. Maybe you two are not in love.” Rocket stared at him blankly, “We definitely are.” He said confidently. 

“..Maybe it is because you are small, and hairy. And sort of ugly.” Drax stated, Rocket baring his teeth slightly at him. “Shit, you’re as much help as Pete is.” He groaned, rubbing his eyes. 

“Have you considered just asking?” Drax suggested, “Peter said the same damn thing. The hell do you guys want me to do? Just walk up all ‘Oh hey Y/N, wanna have sex with me?’ I don’t think so.” Rocket argued.

“Yes.” Drax said matter of factly. 

“You know what, screw this.” Rocket jumped from the chair and made his way to the door. “And so help me Drax if you say a word to anyone about this I will claw your damn eyes out.” The door shut heavily behind a very disheveled Rocket.

-

“Y/N? Y/N!” You heard your name being called, the voice approaching from down the hall. You set down the dish you were cleaning and leaned out the door of the kitchen, seeing Peter poking his head into all the hallway doors looking for you, “What’s up?” You asked, raising your brow. “You free?” Peter asked, causing confusion on your end. “Uh.. yeah, why? Something happened? Need some help up front?” “No, I just have a question for you.” Peter walked into the kitchen and leaned on the counter as you picked your dish back up and continued to clean. “Ask away.” 

You could hear Peter swallow, almost nervous. 

“Have you and Rocket ever..” He trailed off, anticipating you to start telling him ot fuck off and mind his own business. Instead you became ridgid, feeling all the color wash from your face. “I-I don’t mean to be intruding!” He tried to save himself from the awkward conversation ahead, noticing you tense. “Why?” You asked quietly.

“Well, ugh this feels so weird to talk about and I probably shouldn’t be but, Rocket came to me and like, asked how to get with a woman..in that..situation..because he said you wouldn’t..” His voice was quiet, almost like a child afraid to be scolded. 

You let out a heavy breath, setting down your plate. “I know what you mean.” You didn’t even bother looking over at him. 

“Do you even..want to?” 

“Yes, well, no, but not no in a bad way. It’s just..I’m..” You dropped your shoulders,

“Is it Rocket?” “No, of course not. It’s definitely me.” 

“Oh. I get it. Then why don’t you talk to him. Let him know..? 

You let out an accidental laugh, “Ha! Easier said than done.” 

“What do you mean?”

“Come on Pete, you know Rocket. How he reacts to shit.”

What you didn’t know was the keen ears of a raccoon had picked up on his name on your lips down the hall, stopping in his place to eavesdrop.

“I just can’t do that, I’m not into it, y’know? You seem to have figured that out.” You said. 

Rockets ears pinned to his head, clicking his tongue, “Whatever..” He brushed off the hurt, continuing on his way down the hall, failing to listen to the next words out of your mouth.

“I love him, everything about him. But I just don’t feel those feelings. And I never really have for anyone, anything even. I don’t know if Rocket would believe me if I tried to explain that to him..” You rubbed your temples, Peter trying to think, trying to help the both of you. 

“I thought I’d be able to figure this out if I heard both stories here but, you’re right, he’d probably just assume the worst. I really just think you gotta tell him. I know it won’t be easy, but he doesn’t know what to think, he’s confused as to why whenever he makes a move you shy away everytime. He needs some type of explanation, and you need to stop hiding it from him if you really love him.” 

You closed your eyes and shook your head, a shaky sigh escaping your lips. “You’re right.” “Per usual.” Peter said coyly, earning himself a death glare, “Ok, sorry not the time for that. But, I’ll leave you to it then. I don’t know where he went after he brushed my advice off. He couldn’t have gone far.” Peter waved, “But it is getting late, he might’ve decided to head to your- his-  the room for the night. I’m gonna do the same soon.” He suggested, leaving the kitchen and heading back to his captain seat. 

Gotta tell him, don’t you? 

This was a lot for you to decide.

You wanted to tell him, but then again it’s Rocket. Snarky, aggressive, jumping to conclusions, Rocket.

-

You had made your final rounds of checking on everyone before you headed to yours and Rockets shared room. Saying your goodnights and making sure doors were secured, lights that weren’t needed were off.

Were you stalling? Yes, for sure. You now knew Rocket had some type of suspicion about why you wouldn’t engage with him, and you became nervous to even enter the room, afraid to get either berated, interrogated, anything. You just weren’t ready to come out to him yet.

You slowly opened the door, prepared for what you thought was to come.

But nothing. 

“You’re in here early.” You said wearily, noticing how calm he was.

That was unusual for him. 

“Yeah, had some shit in here to do, figured get it done before Peter talks my ears off about getting it done.” His back was facing you.

Normally he would get up, hug you, kiss you, tease you, anything. But he was scarily..normal. 

“Oh, alright. Sounds good.” Your nervous eyes darted around the room, searching for your pajamas to grab to get an excuse to go to the bathroom and escape the tense air. 

“You left them on the bathroom floor when ya changed earlier.” Rocket read your mind, “Thanks.” You hurried into the bathroom, closing the door and letting out a heavy sigh.

Gotta tell him, gotta tell him. Dammit! Just tell him.

A knock at the door. “You good? I gotta piss, hurry it up.” Rocket almost hissed. You didn’t realize how long you had been sitting there. 

“Sorry.” You practically tore off your clothes and got into your pajamas, opening the door and getting right into your bed. 

How were you gonna approach this?

You heard the trickle of urine hitting water, your heart speeding up.

Gotta tell him.

The flush of the toilet.

The bathroom lights went out, and out came Rocket in his own pajamas, which was just a pair of loose pants. 

He got back into his chair at his desk, the sound of screwdrivers hitting screws, wires snapping with electricity. 

“So, um.” You started, picking at the skin around your nails. “I know earlier I said we could..tonight..” 

You glanced over at him when his tinkering noises silenced. Ears twitched with irritation, flattening ever so slightly. 

“I already know the damn answer. It’s no, again.” 

“Yes, But, I need to tell you something-”

“Oh,” He spun, looking at you harshly, “I already know the damn answer.” 

“You do..?” You asked, eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

Who told him? How did he find out? A god, he was a lot more mad than you thought he would be. 

“I sure as hell do. And I don’t need to hear another word outta your damn mouth.” He snapped, eyes staring into yours.

“I didn’t think you’d be that mad about it.” 

“You gotta be shittin’ me, Y/N.” He laughed. 

You almost cracked a smile, assuming his laughter meant you had mistaken his anger. 

But you were so wrong.

“You’re not into it, I know that now. Not into me, not into the way I look, I bet thats what it fuckin’ is. You just can’t do it.” He seethed, anger leaking from his tone.

“Wait, Rocky, what-?” You sat up into your bed. “Oh don’t ‘Rocky’ me. I heard you and Pete. I heard what you said. I love you, Y/N and you just go and say some shit like that? Ya just can’t do it.” He mocked you with the last line, turning back to face away from you to pool in anger.

“You were spying on us.” You mumbled. “It's hard not to spy when you’re just blurting names out willy nilly.”

“You didn’t hear the whole fucking conversation!” You snapped back, causing Rocket to shift in his seat and turn an ear to you. 

“Oh yeah? And what else did you say? How much I disgust you? How you would never sleep with me? How I’m probably just some dumb idiot who-”

“Rocket! God dammit listen to me! You shouted at him, your tone laced with frustration. 

He turned to you, placing his hands behind his head. “Fuckin’ speak your peace then.” 

Your face dropped. 

You had to do it now, with his attention.

“I..I’m..” You stumbled over your words getting caught in your throat. 

“Right.” He scoffed, getting out of his chair. “I’m getting a drink.” Rocket made his way to the door, 

Hand reaching for the handle..

Just say it.

“I’m asexual.” You whispered.

“What?” His ears perked up, body turning to you. “You’re what..?” 

“Asexual.” You swallowed the nervous lump, waiting for him to start some shit.

“That's.. It? This whole time?” “A long time, actually. I just.. Didn’t know how to tell you..how you’d react.” His gaze softened as he made his way to you, sitting on the edge of the bed. 

“So it’s..not the way I look or..” “Oh god no, Rock, I think you are the most handsome guy in the galaxy. You have an attractive personality, too. I just don’t feel those feelings like you do. And I’m sorry if I can’t give you what you-”

“Shut up.” Rocket said lowly, taking you back. “What?” “You don’t have to apologize, you idiot. You could’ve just told me. I would’ve been fine with it. I mean, I am fine with it. Just.. kinda mad it took you so long. Do you not trust me or somethin’?” 

You breathed a sigh of relief, “I do trust you, I just assumed you’d be angry.”

“Well you know what they say about assuming.” He teased. “I’m just glad to know you don’t think I’m an ugly fuck or some shit.” 

You tousled the fur on his head, “Of course I don’t think that.” “Thank god, your opinion is the only person’s that matters to me.” Rocket chuckled, sliding off the bed and back into his chair. 

“Now c’mere, I need you to help me with this, and I want your beautiful dumbass next to me.” 

You rolled your eyes, pulling up your own chair beside him, both of you leaning over the desk in the low light of the desk lamp. 

“So, Y/N, when we’re done with this, can you um.. Educate me a little on the whole asexual shit? I’m tech smart, not that smart. Don’t wanna make a fool of myself.” He said softly.

“Sure thing, Rocky.” You smiled.

[alexanderlightweight]

I am IN LOVE with dragon Alec and snow leopard Magnus 🙈 They are so cuddly and so cute and adorable. I’d love to please see kinda jealous Alec when he meets Chairman….or maybe Alec realising his feelings for Magnus? (sexual or not, I think I saw he was demi somewhere?). Thank you! This mini fic is such a treat <3

i'm glad you love it so much! i also am loving writing it so i'm happy to write more! i love all my verses, mind you, but there is just something about character who can shift into animals that i just love. i also love predator/prey vibes as well so they tie in well together.

also i love exploring the difference in instincts etc.

(i write demi-alec into pretty much anything. it's actually the walls of adoration, claws of desperation. i mentioned he's 'super-demi' in that verse (kind of like i'm always ace but sometimes i'm super-ace - @saeths says this makes sense and agrees that this happens w/me frequently).

but yeah it's probably going to take Magnus to make a move because Alec is like just going to follow his lead and will probably wake up naked and curled up with Magnus at some point - and this will have been happening for weeks at this point - and realize he's incredibly sexually interested in Magnus. before that, he just wanted to have sex cause he enjoyed the intimacy of it and adores Magnus and thinks he's beautiful and likes being as close to him as possible and he also loves being able to help magnus feel good.

Magnus before Alec realizes he's sexually attracted to magnus: sleeping with alexander is amazing

magnus after alec realizes he's sexually attracted to magnus: sleeping with alexander is amazing but neither of us are going to be able to keep this pace

... yeah i started rambling again. oops. (saeth teases me because i wrote 'just one more sentence in one of my ask answers' and then proceeded to write paragraphs more)

but anyways, i hope you enjoy

<3 lumine

ps - ask your ace friends if they know if love game by lady gaga is a sex song. if they say no??? wdym??? they're super ace. -@saeths

-

It’s the screaming the alerts Magnus to a problem.

Well, the yowling really.

He looks up from his book and over to see if whatever cat fight on his balcony is happening has upset Alexander, except his boy is no longer there.

Magnus snaps the book shut with a scowl, because he’s Magnus Fucking Bane and yet he can’t even corral his own fucking dragon long enough to read a chapter.

If Alexander has once again slipped away to the roof, Magnus will be tempted to destroy the damn thing. Or, more likely, turn his entire loft into a garden so that Alexander won’t ever need to leave wherever Magnus is.

Before he can hunt down his dragon however, he has to deal with the still screaming cats.

Or at least, that is the plan until there is a sudden roar, the kind that makes even Magnus’ spine tingle with the promise of a powerful predator.

Magnus waits for a moment and then he sighs, pinching his nose before he walks around the balcony to the other side, where the cats are.

Or… where the cats should be.

Alexander is sitting, looking smug and caracal sized as he preens, watching the alley below.  Magnus steps close and looks over, staring at the ten or so cats fleeing his building.

“Was that really necessary?” Magnus asks, intending it to be a tease and he’s given an affronted, irritated scowl. It’s adorable on Alexander in such a small form but Magnus winces mentally, because apparently it was necessary.

Alexander doesn’t normally look at him so seriously.

“They were encroaching.” Alexander bites out, shifting to human form, his scowl looking even more like a pout as he crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the railing. “Trespassing.”

Magnus would love to point out that Alexander was also originally a trespasser, but since he’s still trying to slowly figure out how to keep Alexander close, he chooses not to.

“They’re stray cats, treasure.” Magnus murmurs, because he’s noticed that Alexander enjoys specific terms of endearment.

Things that reference power, riches, hoards… all the things’ dragons adore.

“They’re vermin.” Alexander sulks, giving Magnus a petulant look, “they’ve been shedding all over you.”

Magnus pauses as he suddenly has a better understanding of the problem and it sends a thrill through him, at the idea that Alexander is jealous of all things.

“You’re absolutely correct,” Magnus snaps his fingers as he speaks, ignoring Alexander’s suddenly skeptical glower. “Absolute vermin, pests.” And then, because he knows exactly how to distract him, he adds, “do you know, darling? I think they might not be here for the milk, perhaps they’re actually after the koi.”

Alexander — who is incredibly protective of the magical fish who provide him snacks — turns back, glaring at the now empty alley below and he’s hissing.

Magnus wasn’t aware the human body was capable of making noises like that and he reminds himself to brew some good tea with honey.

“At least you’d never harm my koi,” Magnus teases, because he adores his little trespassing dragon. Alexander barely hears him, too focused on the street below. Magnus watches him for a minute and then sighs, reaching out to rest a hand on his shoulder. “Come treasure, back inside.”

Alexander doesn’t turn, even though the soothing tone Magnus uses normally works to coax him. He shakes his head, still glaring with slightly glowing eyes at the street below.

“Alexander—” Magnus purrs as he presses a little closer, pressing the warmth of his body against his boy, “the fire is on. Come with me.”

“I’m staying here, to make sure whatever you did works.” Alexander looks stubbornly apologetic, and Magnus doesn’t even let the doubt bother him, too shocked to care.

“You are not staying out here all night, watching to make sure the cats don’t come back.”

“They’re after the koi, Magnus.” Alexander looks as if he’s ready to turn back into dragon form and go hunt them down and Magnus reminds himself — once again — to never underestimate a dragon’s devotion to their snacks.

“Alexander, they’re not going to come back. I fixed the tear that let them in.” Magnus doesn’t realize he’s said something wrong until Alexander turns, looking absolutely shocked.

“You were purposefully letting them in?” Alexander seems almost betrayed and a little horrified and he’s giving Magnus a look that Magnus isn’t sure he likes.

“You left a hole in your home, in your lairs defenses, on purpose?”

Magnus swallows because he’s very aware right now that Alexander is judging him and it’s not a feeling he finds he enjoys.  Normally, the judgment of others slides off of his back, but he finds he feels rather helpless in this moment. Magnus is powerful enough that he doesn’t have to worry about such a little thing, but Alexander is looking at him with something that borders on mistrust.

It’s with a sinking feeling that Magnus remembers how ardently and viciously dragons protect their hoards. To have such an opening, purposefully no less, in the heart of Magnus’ lair must seem like the worst kind of incompetence.

—

Alec is fuming and not only because the little vermin stealing into his hoard’s home have been leaving their disgusting scent about.

Magnus is clearly unaware of how amazing and valuable he is. 

If he had any idea, he wouldn’t leave any possible way into his lair, especially not purposefully.

It’s one thing for Alec to slip past Magnus’ amazing, beautiful and intricate wards — he’s traipsed through Idris enough times to bask in Lake Lynn to be assured that he’s never met a ward he can’t cross — but for vermin?

Magnus is leaving himself open to all sorts of danger and he doesn’t even seem to realize it.

You don’t leave treasures up to chance. You protect them, viciously, devotedly, obsessively.

You give your treasures all of yourself to hoard them and you leave nothing to fate.

Alec has seen how well guarded the things Magnus values are.

Out of all the treasures in his house, the one most in danger from such a flaw would be Magnus himself.  Which means that Magnus doesn’t value himself the way Alec knows he deserves and should be.

It’s almost heartbreaking and Alec can’t help the soft croon that leaves his throat.

How is he ever going to be able to let Magnus leave his side, when he can’t trust Magnus to protect himself above all else.

[fracturedporcelaindoll]

Dear diary,

I recently discovered that a pillow I had been wanting has gone on sale as such it's slightly more affordable which means I am pondering purchasing it however.... Some factors to consider ...~

It's a novelty being a dashhound shaped pillow, then the size while perfect for bed is long enough that transporting it in tote or backpack would not be doable~

So then I'd be stuck walking most likely or taking public transportation possibly with it back home and that just draws too much attention, like you'll notice a short person carrying an obviously way bigger item around~

I am not in elementary school so I worry it'd look uncute to others not that matters much but this anxiety and stuff is why I think it's better not to leave home/go outside and socialize~

Ironically it might be better to force socialization to attempt to overcome or better handle anxiety~

Then I've been considering fashion a lot lately, there's the fashion I adore and now that I have freedom to wear what I wish without worrying about school dress codes, it becomes more possible to wear such aesthetics however I am an adult and wearing childish prints no matter how adorable may seem inappropriate~

Classical elegant styles that I adore as well seem suited only for tall flawless model beauties~

At least I know that if I go to the one store they will have high quality products and I'll always be able to find another super soft oversized sweater~

I've been trying to narrow down costume for Halloween but honestly I think of too many options and that's not counting prepackaged costumes versus pieced together ones using variety of clothing options~

I may just skip it after all I haven't been feeling overly social and trick or treaters have lots of options for visiting to get candy~

I could stay in and watch movies instead which will probably be what happens~

I am half tempted to pair down wardrobe again and just invest in several pairs of fuzzy super comfy and cute pajamas sets~

After all if I can avoid socializing more than I don't have to worry about what other people would think because it's just me and comfy soft pajamas are nice~

I've started thinking about trying to write a short story or book with it being a cliche romantic story and writing a character similar to myself as one of leads but I am not really a writer~

Then it's not like some handsome charming man will sweep me off my feet, sure in a fictional world I could create character that likes me partly for the flaws I see in myself but maybe they'd find cute in some way like most romantic cliche troupes go~

I really been craving gingerbread men cookies and considering pumpkin pie since it's that time of season, well almost October is still a bit aways and fall doesn't officially start until the 22nd but the heat just makes me long for the chilly autumn and cold winter that I sooooo desire to have this year~

I am rectangular shaped or so that's what I see in the mirror on the occasion I wear a fitted dress~

Hourglass shapes are obviously attractive maybe rectangular if you're like tall and really thin but not if your short and not so thin~

I recently found out that your waist size should only be half of your height, which means I am failing there too~

I wish I could create my own winter maybe it'd improve my mood though to be fair while sitting by window as snowflakes cover everything with some hot cocoa wrapped in a blanket and wearing a cozy sweater would help some I could just get a little sad that Santa disappears after childhood, well not really but he's only there for children not so much adults which makes sense and all~

Maybe I am just being selfish, it's not like material things matter when considering life and death~

I kinda want to call my dad and be like do you think I am pretty /beautiful because I want that reassurance that I am by hearing him say that but the reality is if I did call and get the nerve to ask he'd laugh and ask me if I was asking because I wanted to hear that I was pretty/beautiful then that it didn't matter what he thinks what matters is what I think of my self, and he's not going to just give me a compliment because I want one as well that there's always room for improvement~

See? So I don't need to talk to him as I can play out what he'd say and he has his own life and doesn't need me taking time away from all the things he has to keep him busy etc~

My mother scares me sometimes, like I thought I'd matured well enough especially the last few years with trying to care for her in a way any therapist would but at the same time, it's like do people always turn out to be their parents? Is it inventable because to be honest, I don't want to be some gloomy depressed always the victim etc that she is~

Of course she has good qualities too, but yeah~

It's not like I didn't have a childhood, I did for a little while then things changed, circumstances etc and I adapted I always thought I handled it pretty okay but it's ridiculous of me to want something back that just can't be~

If school wasn't so expensive and tediously long I'd consider a career as a librarian, sounds nice and cozy or art teacher at an elementary school because that's the most fun when it comes to crafts and art stuff~

Teachers however have so many hoops to jump through and most require you get a minimum of bachelor's with the understanding that you work towards getting your master's then all the state and board exams as well as continuing educational classes to keep up with any changes to education systems etc~

If you read this and leave a like it's appreciated but not expected~

[coquelicoq]

For the 30 years old ask meme, could I ask: 8, 13, 15, 18, 36, 41, and 62 please? (I promise I restrained myself 🙈 I'm just very curious) -☆

thanks friend~

8. What cleaning product do you swear by? i am not a person who has strong feelings about cleaning products, except i prefer not to use antibacterial handsoap on a regular basis in the home environment…seems like tempting fate. if i had to pick something i guess i'd say detergent for washing dishes by hand, because i use it more than anything else probably.

13. Which filter are you most likely to go "eh, it's probably fine" when you find out you need to change it? the air conditioner. i clean it once a year…most years.

15. Do you go down each aisle when you grocery shop, or only the ones you know you need stuff from? only the ones i know i need stuff from! yesterday i went to a grocery store i don't usually go to because i'm not in my neighborhood at the moment, and it was such a frustrating experience because i had to go down every aisle multiple times, not knowing where anything was. hate that. i am in and out at my regular grocery store. i am here to get the stuff on my premade list and then get the fuck outta dodge.

18. Pro or anti tchotchkes? they don't really do anything for me from a visual perspective, because everything in my line of sight becomes invisible to me after a short period of time. (i have seen this called "visual exhaustion", but when i look up that term i just get results for eye strain, so maybe that's not an official term lol.) so having a bunch of small items in my vicinity ultimately just means there are more things to get dusty and for me to not even notice getting dusty until we are at critical levels.

36. Do you keep a daily journal or agenda? i keep a weekly agenda, which is structured as a table where the columns are the days of the week Mon-Sun and the rows are things like "french", "book", "puzzles", "social", "shower", "chores", etc. and then for every day i write down the initials of the french-language book i'm currently reading in the french row, the initials of whatever other book i'm currently reading in the book row, whatever task i need to do for my newspaper puzzles, and so forth. there isn't always something in every cell - for example if i have more than four days with something in the "social" row (which includes phone calls), i am in trouble because i don't have the bandwidth for that lol. then on the far side of the page i keep a running list of things i need to do at some point but don't plan to work on in the current week, so i don't lose track of them. i used to keep a daily journal but it petered off several months ago when i realized 1) i was running out of space for all my old journals, 2) there were so many it was prohibitively difficult to actually refer back to them for any reason, since just finding the relevant entry could take hours unless i already happened to know what date to look for, and 3) it was taking up time and also depressing me. lol. problems 1 and 2 would be solved by keeping a digital journal rather than a handwritten one, but that's never appealed to me. so now the only thing i write down is how much i slept, how heavy my menstruation was, and (only if they were notably unusual) how my mood and appetite were.

41. What's the oldest thing you own? the last time i thought this over i concluded it was a copy of a connecticut yankee in king arthur's court, and i haven't come up with anything else. i don't remember exactly how old it is. from the early 1900s maybe?

62. Where are you on the minimalism-maximalism kinsey scale? hm idk really. as stated before, i got the ol' "this sign can't stop me because i cease to even notice it if it's been on the wall for more than one hour" disease. so you could go all out and cover a room in all sorts of shit and i would enjoy the aesthetic and think it looks neat right up until i would never see it again, which would be very soon. so it kinda comes out to a wasted effort for me. however, on the other hand i can't say i'm a minimalist person either, because if you put me in a bare bones room with two sticks of furniture, within half an hour i'll have covered every space with bags and books and assorted papers and devices that i am planning to use throughout the course of the next few days and not even notice how cluttered i have made it due to the aforementioned visual exhaustion thing. so yeah. i have no idea. i do enjoy looking at pictures of maximalist decor though, and last year i visited a friend of a friend whose house was THE most intensely decorated place i had ever seen and i thought it was amazing. but if we're talking my own living space or anywhere i will be spending any amount of time, it does not and cannot matter.

[cauldronoflove]

JJ! So I was tempted to just send 1-25, but I'll restrain myself and go with 3, 6 and 24 for the end of the year book ask

3. What were your top five books of the year?

i just sat down to make this list last week and i'm still not completely sold on it (or maybe it's just the placements?), i read a lot of books i really enjoyed this year so there's a lot to choose from but atm

- kate bornstein's gender outlaw (fundamentally changed me a day had not gone by i haven't thought abt something said in this book)

- annie proulx's close range (i love short stories but this comp did something to me and my view of short stories i cant even explain. have wept my way through brokeback mountain 3 times this year also)

- selma blair's mean baby (one of the best "celebrity memoirs" i've read in a long time and it hit me at a very personal level)

- manda scott's dreaming the bull (oh god. OH GOD. scott's boudica cycle has so been my shit this year but this one had me hooping and fucking hollering gritting my teeth feeling absolutely insane for all 700 some pgs)

- janet kagan's uhura's song (not only was this SUCH a fun reading experience but it also unfairly set my standards for trek novels to come, the writing and worldbuilding is absolutely insane!!!!)

6. Was there anything you meant to read, but never got to?

🤡 yeah.

i'm always working on my physical tbr so these are books i'll still be getting to at some point, but this year i had hoped to get to:

emily yellins' our mothers' war / joann levy's they saw the elephant / lillian faderman's odd girls & twilight lovers / lynn sherr's sally ride

24. Did you DNF anything? Why?

per my yearly spreadsheet i dnf'd 4 books this year:

anne mccaffrey's get off the unicorn (i thought a short story collection would be a great way to dip my toes into as prolific a writer and i did find that i liked mccaffrey's style but i didnt jive with the actual stories)

tippi hedren's tippi (i'm sorry ms hedren but the writing was excruciating)

agatha christie's nemesis (if i'm being honest i dont truly remember why, i think christie just got kinda weird with it)

kathy reichs' déjà dead (boooo!!!! i was really looking forward to this series but the first few chapters were absolutely mindnumbing, i skimmed the rest of the book and was just like. oh i cant do this)

[thana-topsy]

Ok, gosh, sorry to pester but your response got me actually sorta tempted to maybe give writing atleast a small fic a try. So I've got a fair lotta experience with running and playing ttrpgs and I imagine there's *some* skill overlap (Both kinda being in a roundabout way narrative writing, just as a group) and, well, wondering if you have any tips and tricks for fic writing? I know I really struggle with character dialogue when I'm writing both sides of it 😅

YASSS LET'S GO!! Fic writing time!!! (And don't worry, you're not pestering me. If anything you've infected me with Minotaur Brain).

Okay, this is about to get long, so apologies in advance. You've unleashed the beast.

I actually went from playing and running TTRPG to fic-writing because I had more ideas than any single game of DND could possibly contain. I wanted these stories out of my head and I wanted complete control. (Do I have control issues? Maybe~ But only when it comes to impatience. I didn't want to have to wait on people to make story decisions, damn it!) So I can say that, yes, there's absolutely some overlap that'll come in handy!

Ahhh character dialogue. I know a lot of people struggle with that exact mechanic, so you're not alone. Fortunately (or unfortunately) I have the boon of having conversations with myself pretty constantly lol. Dialogue comes very naturally for me, and is one of my favorite things to write. I'd say just pay attention to how you speak to people, how people speak to you, and keep in mind that two people talking are going to have different motivations and interpretations of the conversation. It can feel intimidating, but the #1 thing to prioritize is knowing your characters inside and out. Their responses in dialogue will come naturally if you know their personality well.

As far as external sources, I follow a lot of "On Writing" type channels on YouTube, and I'll link a few of my favorites: Hello Future Me has a whole playlist of writing tips and tricks, but his entire channel is just lovely. For dialogue specifically, I gotta recommend this video, which I've watched plenty. (Also he has videos on The Elder Scrolls!) The Closer Look tends to focus on movies and scripts more than written work, but one of the best ways to get better at writing is to critique all types of storytelling media. (Critique as in look critically at what makes a story successful, not just shit on popular media for fun). Brandon Sanderson is an absolute master of fantasy fiction and has a WEALTH of videos on youtube. His playlist on writing advice is great for bite-sized nuggets of knowledge, but also he has entire college-level lectures available for free on youtube. Shit's amazing.

I also love watching channels, like Cari Can Read, that read and discuss popular books. It's entertaining, and also a good example of what to do, and often what not to do, in a story lmfao.

I've also read many many books on writing techniques. "How Fiction Works" by Oakley Hall is probably my all-time favorite.

I hope this helps you get a good start! But at the end of the day, just write! Technique can come later. Get some words down and see where the story takes you. Worry about the craft later. As they always say, you can't edit a blank page.

Best of luck, my friend, and I look forward to seeing what you come up with. 🙏

[lumau]

(fandom update and appreciation)

Hello, I'm back!

These past months daily life has taken over and lead me into a fandom hiatus. After the end of twitter as we knew it I kinda lost connection and tbh it has been refreshing. While I've always kept to my own corner and away from big drama, just being in fandom on social media these days has pulled me down and I probably burned myself out over it (again).

During my break I rediscovered that I can actually enjoy things casually (I'm still playing Pokémon and started watching Winter Begonia), and that I can both consume and create things just for myself to enjoy without the constant internal pressure of seeking engagement dopamine. 

But now I'm at a point where I'm starting to miss all the good fandom stuff (meaning YOU guys out there!). I miss seeing your Xie'er hcs, your Sleuth memes and the JGY protection squad, and I'm glad that fandom always perseveres and I can simply come back after a break and y'all are still doing what you're doing. ❤️

So, what's new? Well, after intentionally ignoring it for the past years, I'm getting sucked into TGCF right now. I watched the 2nd donghua season as it aired and wanted to know more, so I finally continued reading it. I'm also doing that very slowly and am currently in the middle of the 3rd book. 

I've been reading some fic, watching videos and I know myself enough by now to see the pattern of falling into a new thing. It's both enticing and scary to once more get into something with a big following. I really love the experience of being in small, committed fandoms, but there's also something really cool about the sense that there's an infinite amount of fan content out there waiting for you. Also, the specific danger of being tempted by MERCH I can buy in an actual STORE where I live!?! Haven't had that in over 20 years. (Yes, MDZS has merch here, too, but none that I care about 😅).

For now I'm still trying to be casual about it and avoid spoilers (I know the vague plot lines, that shit will only keep going downhill, and who's behind BWX - I guess that's hard not to learn by fandom osmosis- but I'm looking the other way whenever any details come up.) 

Maybe I'll start posting some reactions as I keep going through the novels, but I don't want to feel like I'm reading it for content. Probably I'll feel the urge to write fic in the future, and my prediction is that I'll find myself in the Junlian corner (Unhealthy, one-sided obsession with a power imbalance? When have I ever resisted that!).

I've also been doing some casual doodling, which has been fun. Here's a tiny little XL for anyone who read through all of this:

Oh, and on the note of doing things very slowly - Yes, I still have plans to finish the Jia Kui/Wang Zhi/Ding Rong fic I started writing... ehm, a year ago? 🙃 I'm just beginning to feel motivated again, and it's almost done, so there's hope. 我还在!

All of that to say - old and future fandom friends, I appreciate you! Do come talk to me, here or on discord, about TGCF or Winter Begonia or any of my previous fandoms. I'm looking forward to seeing what all of y'all have been up to!

[suddenrundown]

@leverage-ot3 tagged me in this ask game! (thaaaaanks :D)

Star Sign(s): *meme voice* you guys got more than one star sign? i just know im a pisces lol

Favorite Holidays: I think probably thanksgiving

Last Meal: i had a frozen pizza a little bit ago. 'twas pretty good.

Current Favorite Musician: good ol' carly rae jepsen. what a queen.

Last Music Listened To: looking at spotify it was crj lol (specifically cut to the feeling) but i was listening to my 2023 wrapped playlist which is not made up of all carly rae jepsen, if you can believe lol. but she is there quite a bit!

Last Movie Watched: I watched Rye Lane with my roommate! I didn't get to finish it cuz i needed to go to bed since I had to get up early for work the next morning, but I'm gonna go back to it! it's very good :D

Last TV Show Watched: Fully sitting down and watching something? Our flag means death, I think?? I feel like I must have watched something since that ended but I can't think of anything. I did skip around a few scenes from specific leverage episodes for writing reasons, but that probably doesn't count lol

Last Book/Fic Finished: Officially the last actual book i read was the lies of lock lamora. Haven't read anything since because I quit the book club i was in (did you know you can just leave things? if it sucks hit da bricks) but that was a good book. last fic was how do we turn on the light which is a aziraphale/crowley fic by moonyinpisces on ao3. its super good (if you like go you should read it!!)

Last Book/Fic Abandoned: Ancillary Justice (also for that book club).

Currently Reading: I'm not currently reading any books but I am reading that aforementioned go fic!

Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation: Lol i googled if there was such a thing as a window opener and what that looked like. I wouldn't call that research but I don't have a better answer!

Favorite Online Fandom Memory: I think the time I got @faorism invested in my heartsong au and then they made a whole fic for it. faor is truly a treasure in the leverage fandom. also the response i got when writing as whole as we could be was overwhelmingly lovely <3

Favorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence: uh. well. i kinda wish we could get the fandom we had for leverage back?? i understand why the people that left it did and totally support it, but i miss the community and the different corners of it. i think people obv still post about and create things for leverage but not to the extent that we had before. such is life though!

Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did: i think i could probably give the same answer for this as the last question, honestly. in some ways its nice to be small though :) OH maybe the toby daye series?? idk if there is much of a fandom for it and i just dont know about it lol that is quite possible.

Tempting Project You're Trying to Rein In/Don't Have Time For: good lord. come back and haunt me. im fucking trying out here dude! im trying so hard lol

ok i shall tag some people but if you see this and dont see yourself tagged and think "i wanna play too!" well consider yourself tagged, whether we are mutuals or not. and if you are tagged directly, no pressure at all <3

@cloysterbell @shinybulbasaur @faorism @miss-interpretations @applejuiz @majesticartax @romansmartini @wizardrights @imusthavebecomesomething

[switch-bladefights]

i would like to hear your i'm not okay epiphany pls

ok so this might be 'ok Jamie but we knew that' BUT (long post incoming oops)

TL;DR: revenge uses its concept as a metaphor for the wider emo scene at the time and is a microcosm of the 'us v. them' environment perpetuated in the budding emo subculture and 'not okay' sums that up and THAT'S why its on the album

disclaimer too omg no way do I wholly agree with the things I'm writing here its just arguments I've been making in my diss

I've been analysing revenge for my dissertation under the lens of the presentation of women in emo spaces in the early to mid 00s and when I started looking at revenge I was like wow ok there is not great rep here for women, and until recently I've kinda not really got why I'm Not Okay is on there bc at first glance it doesn't appear to fit the concept at all

ANYWAY so the album can be viewed as two halves separated by interlude, with the first half having a tendency to villainise women, especially the female demolition lover character (which granted, seems counterproductive as the male character wishes to be reunited with her). Gerard uses a lot of violent imagery (throughout bullets and revenge) because that's very much the concept and what he does but when I put on my academic hat and start saying things I don't necessarily agree with so I can get marks, you can make a case for a lot of it being in reference to women: "I wanna see what your insides look like/ I bet you're not fucking pretty on the inside", "like the blade you stain", "got nasty blisters from the money she spends" "she even poked the holes so I can breathe" etc etc. This paints the woman as almost and 'eve' like character, making the man 'Adam'.

blah blah blah there is now a comparison of the demolition lovers to Adam and Eve, who obviously were tempted by Satan to eat the apple thus calling the fall of man from Paradise. However, it was Eve who ate the apple first, thus laying the foundations for hatred towards women like, forever. It is also Satan who makes the deal with the man in the concept (although now I'm realising maybe this makes him more like an Eve cos he was tempted and its some Gerard gender fuckery...... I'll have to think about that). So anyway it can be read as having some woman-blaming metaphors and imagery in the first half of the album, not that this was AT ALL uncommon in the scene as we all know MCR is one of the better bands for misogyny

so continuing on 'Interlude' acts as a turning point at the midpoint of the album and is a prayer in and of itself: "saints protect her now/ come angels of the lord/ come angels of unknown". it marks a turn towards an uptake in Christian religious imagery in the second half of the album.

the biggest religious image that is conveyed in the second half of the album is that of the fall, obviously most closely with the fall of Lucifer (shoutout to good omens for helping me remember all this religious stuff) yada yada as the focus shifts the woman turns from an Eve to a spectre as Gerard also uses way more references to memory. She's no longer a villain but a prize for completing his quest immortalised in his memory, a dream almost. She almost vanishes from the narrative as we focus on the fall of some guy.

The final line of Revenge is "they gave us two shots to the back of the head and we're all dead now". This sums up the us v. them attitude and puts two positions before the listener: you either take the shot or you go down with your friends ("we're all" implying company, it's not "I'm dead now"), with the implication that it's better to go down fighting than be the person who kills. This mirrors a theme that Judith May Fathallah picks up on her book 'Emo' called "beta-male misogyny", whereby emo boys think they deserve the girls because they're somehow better than jocks- likely that they view themselves as more sensitive and therefore more worthy of love (and sex). Here too are the two parties doing the shooting and being shot.

SO Revenge mirrors the emo subculture of the early 00s, with us v. them rhetoric with emo boys positioning themselves as better than jocks, where the emo boy is the demolition lover and the jock is the thousand evil men in his way. As the emo boy ever does irl, the demolition lover fails and the jock wins again (maybe the jock is also satan idk). Oh yeah and the woman from the album and the girls irl are marginalised and made into trophies for the men.

AND I'm Not Okay summarises this. It's the ultimate us v. them song, It's I'M not okay v. YOU wear me out. The video is a classic high school battle of the geek v the jock with that final image of them squaring up (although yes I know the whole video is like well everyones not okay but whatever this whole post is a reach). It's there because it's a summary of the album, it IS the album stripped of the concept. No frills, just Revenge.

Anyways that's my piece and I know it's a stretch but what is a masters degree if not a year long stretch

[fandxmslxt69]

Top two OC’s

1. Is Laci from leather and Lace. Petite, short (5”) heavily traumatized so she’s has boughts of not being able to talk and high anxiety esp in public. She’s getting better day by day snd has a job now 🥰 (leather and lace ended but the universe goes on with 3 other series with the other boys). She’s got a v sweet heart and likes pretty things (including dresses that makes santi go ferral)

2. Is a fav of Clem’s! Lorenzo from my dark series, the wrong way at my other account, romana-after-dark. The series is a dark TLOU, where the reader is kidnapped by Joel. Lorenzo is her best friend, another raider charged with watching her(and also happens to be dating her brother. Lorenzo is “played” by Oscar Isaac with his look from Drive. Lorenzo is brutally honest and tells reader exactly what’s happening including reminding her how fucked up her situation is. But he’s also always there for her, making her laugh. Lorenzo drinks snd smokes weed a lot but is always alert and ready to protect her. He’s smily and acts like he doesn’t care, but he cares for her a lot and is the one to help her escape

Omg you're so in depth with their personalities I wish I could do that🙈

Laci sounds so sweet I love her!! (If I have the time imma go read leather and lace bc pedro 😏) (I should watch the movie first though)

Lorenzo!!! I did a lot of the rants Clem posted about TLOU and he seems so amazing I want him as a best friend!!! I'm really tempted to read the wrong way but I have a line with dark series and I don't want to not like your fic :( (also like i'm in love with Joel and don't wanna be mad at him the entire time yknow???)

This might inspire me to actually make proper personalities for my oc's and maybe write about them???? (inspo is never there.) pls send help i can only ever make pinterest boards for them...

I can barely choose two top oc's but I'll go with these lovely ladies!! (mind you these aren't oc's like Lorenzo they're me putting myself in a bunch of different books/tv shows/movies)

Luna Jackson!

she's from Percy Jackson! (hence the name bc she's percy's cousin) She's a child of Artemis and yes she doesn't have children but it's some long complicated thing I don't even know anymore. She's number 1 bc she was my first oc and also bc she's most like me! I really don't know what else to say bc my only way to explain these guys is my pinterest boards... oh um, her love interest is Connor Stoll bc that man is a fine looking man (12 year old me was OBSESSED with him)

2. Keeley Owens!

I chose a marvel oc for number 2 bc I feel like we're a very marvel centered blog (i love it tho) so this is keeley, her love interest is bucky (bc my god have you seen that man???) and ummm she's a super soldier kinda?? (i don't write half of their stories down it just floats around in my head and I pray I remember it) she's an avenger and some other cool stuff and I think I actually have like one scene from a fic for her! Her hair is also what I wish mine was

also thank you sm for sharing I love learning about people's oc's!!! feel free to ask/send more and we can feed into each others delusions