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yukidragon · 2 months ago

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Sunny Day Jack - Some Things About Mary

You know, it occurred to me that my ideas about Mary Phoenix have evolved a bit since I first introduced her, especially since I decided to make the reincarnation storyline canon for Sunshine in Hell. Why don't I point out a couple differences that I referenced in some subsequent posts that talk about her?

Content Warnings: There will be talk of death, murder, chronic illness, fatphobia, toxic family relationships, drug usage, sex work, and other such heavy topics. There's also some good old spicy OTP fluff and smut to offset the darker stuff, and maybe a little writing if the mood takes me.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur @kurokrisps

As alluded to in this short fic - Grand Pas de Deux - Mary is the one who got Joseph the part of Jack in the SunnyTime Crew Show. Much like when Alice comes across Jack purely by chance when she finds the tape, Mary stumbled across Joseph while he was hitchhiking on the side of the road - as shown in this unnamed fic.

Instead of working with the art department of the show like the initial ramble about her, Mary is on the writing staff, though she did make drawings of characters for the show when developing the idea.

Sunshine in Hell's continuity differs from the game's demo in a number of ways. One of the biggest divergences is that Mary is the person who came up with the original concept of the SunnyTime Crew Show. In fact, the character of Sunny Day Jack was inspired by Joseph. Whenever she hears the nickname "Sunshine" she thinks of him, for obvious reasons, and he always managed to brighten up her day, so "Sunny Day Jack" felt like an appropriate name for the character.

Sure, Mary could've used a star motif to reference her nickname for Joseph - Starlight - but that felt too personal, in a way, too much like she was just writing about Joseph. Sunny Day Jack is a character based off of how warm and cared for her friendship with Joseph made her feel. The character isn't actually him.

Until, you know, she managed to pull some strings and get him the part in the upcoming TV show.

It sort of all fell into place when Mary came across Joseph again. He had nowhere to go, next to no money to his name. He was willing to do any sort of work he could get. Of course Mary wanted to help him out, so she encouraged him to try out for the part. It just so happened that they were working on the casting call, so the timing was perfect.

Despite Joseph's uncertainty that he could get the role and worries that he'll do right by the child audience, he nailed the audition. Sure he was nervous, but he was desperate to succeed. It wasn't just that he needed the job to survive, but he needed it to stay close to Mary. He couldn't let anything separate them again after he finally found his sunshine.

Joseph was a bundle of nerves before the audition, but Mary managed to bolster his confidence.

...

"Hey," Mary whispered, causing Joseph to flinch and the script to crinkle in his fist. She offered him a sympathetic smile as she placed her hand on his arm. "You're going to be great. I know it."

With that, Mary got onto her tiptoes to give Joseph a quick peck on the lips before throwing him a wink. "Knock 'em dead, Starlight."

For a moment, Joseph could only stare in wonder at Mary. It still felt like a dream that she really was there in front of him after all this time. He reached out for her, ready to pull her in for another kiss to reaffirm just how real and warm she was when he heard his name being called for his turn.

Well... his current name. It was going to take him some time to get used to being called James Haberdae.

But that was fine. Joseph, James, Jack... it didn't matter what name he used. All Joseph needed from his old life was standing right in front of him, beaming like a sunny day. Mary's smile lit up the whole world and gave him hope that things were finally going to change for the better.

"I won't let you down, Sunshine," Joseph said as he gave Mary his sunniest smile. Reluctantly, he let her go, but only for now. It was show time, and the world was waiting to see him as Sunny Day Jack.

...

Needless to say, Joseph nailed the audition. ;3

Mary wasn't the only writer on the show of course. It's common for there to be a lot of writers for a TV show, even if there's one writer who came up with the initial concept for the story and characters. I strongly suspect that this lovely lady to the left in this artwork Sauce shared with us is the show's original creator in the game. In Sunshine in Hell's telling, Mary befriended her as a surrogate aunt or mother figure after she and her family moved away when she was a teenager. This lovely lady who shall remain nameless helped Mary in a lot of ways that her own parents didn't, including helping her develop the concept and character ideas Mary had into a TV show pitch. The show wouldn't have happened without her help, so she's one of the head writers.

That's all say about that particular character in this post, or the blond in the picture with her on the right. After all, the current demo that has a scene about these two is in closed beta right now for kickstarter backers and members of the patreon. No spoilers here, folks!

Well, no game spoilers. I'm spoiling the heck out of Sunshine in Hell on this blog.

Another difference between the game and Sunshine in Hell is the factor of chronic illness in the narrative. Mary and Alice both suffer from the same unnamed chronic condition. While in the present it's for the most part manageable, aside from the occasional flare up, in the 1980's, it was entirely an unknown ailment. There was no name, and thus no real treatment.

Doctors aren't necessarily the best at dealing with unknowns. They can also be pretty judgmental, taking one look at a patient and writing them off. It's even easier to write someone off when they're chubby and blame all their woes on their weight. Just lose some pounds, and the pain will go away, they're keen to say, so they don't see why they should waste their time.

Needless to say, Mary hasn't had the best luck with doctors. Between being told she wouldn't live to adulthood when she was a child, painful tests and experimental medications, and doctors basically blaming her for being sick and in pain, she's for the most part had to deal with things on her own. That means gritting her teeth and forcing herself through the day, taking painkillers when it gets too much for her to handle.

It's hard enough doing work for an average job, but a studio like LambsWork works their employees to the bone. Hours upon hours of overtime, often without any extra pay to show for it. The actors aren't the only ones being worked to the bone. Scripts need to be written, details for sets, costumes, guests need to be brought in and catered to, and all sorts of things that force Mary to have many late nights.

It's too much for Mary, but she can't give it up. This might be her one and only chance to make it, to really share one of her stories to the world. She had dreamed of writing and publishing a novel, but this is so, so much more. If she lets this opportunity slip through her fingers, she'll never have another one like it ever again. She has to make this show work. She has to put everything into it, even if it costs her health.

But that's something Mary is used to at this point. She's learned to deal with the pain, to push through when she's suffering. Her parents always claimed she was exaggerating the pain, overplaying her illness, even faking being sick at all to get out of work, so she had to learn how to push through the pain.

That's another reason why Mary can't fail. She can't let her parents be right about her being a lazy failure.

Mary is low contact with her family, citing the show as reason for it. Her mom and dad are narcissists, so they're satisfied with her success, as it reflects well on them as parents. They're happy as long as they get something out of it, like money, reputation, connections, etc.

Really, it's the period in time when Mary has gotten the most "love" and approval from those two. It's another reason why she can't let the show fail.

Mary is aware her parents aren't very good people. She has been for a while now, but... she still loves them. It's so hard to let go of a relationship when there are some happy moments there, times when she can let herself believe the lie that this is simply how families are. This is what love is... or at least love of a family.

It's the connections Mary makes outside of her family that shake up that perception. First there was Joseph's friendship that blossomed into romantic love. Then there was her mentor figure I mentioned earlier who became more of a mother to her than her real mother. Now she has other friends she's made while working on the set of the SunnyTime Crew Show. The actors and others working on the show are all so nice and sincere, not just Joseph. They become like a big family... one that feels more like a family than Mary's ever was.

Though Mary still can't quite cut off her parents. It's not that easy.

It's that found family and not wanting to let any of them down that pushes Mary so hard. She winds up pushing herself too hard. She takes over the counter painkillers on the daily, knowing that it's not good for her in the long term. Least of the issues with taking them all the time is their diminishing effectiveness. They take away less pain over time as she pushes her body harder and harder to its breaking point...

Mary and Joseph do wind up living together and taking care of one another. He's aware that she's pushing herself too hard, downplaying her own symptoms and pain. He sees how often empty medicine bottles appear in the trash can and hears the whimpers she can't contain when she's struggling to sleep at night.

Joseph wants to protect Mary, but there's little he can do to take away her pain. He helps her as best he can with taking care of the house and the cooking, but he's overworked as well. There's promotional gigs, autograph signings, interviews, filming episodes, rehearsals... Their days are so busy that often times they're left exhausted by the time they get home late at night, too tired to do more than just lie in bed in each other's arms.

That isn't to say that they don't steal a moment or two in their busy lives to make love. Mary might be on the aroace spectrum, but the pleasure Joseph makes her feel allows her to forget the pain she's in all the time, at least for a little while. Joseph, with his high libido, is only too happy to show her love in the most intimate of ways.

Well... after he gets over a bit of guilt. Though Mary did greet Joseph with a kiss when they reunited, and they resumed their relationship right where they left off, it didn't erase the years that they were apart... or the things Joseph had to do to survive life on the streets.

As I mentioned in Jack's section of the big Love and Sex Headcanons post, Joseph had to do some pretty unsavory things in order to survive. Though he puts up a good confident front, even to himself, this man has many insecurities underneath his bad boy looking exterior. There's some guilt that he went looking for love in someone else when he was separated from Mary, and those relationships always ended badly. He also sold his body, exchanging sexual favors for as little as a roof over his head and a meal for a night.

Not to mention the other awful things he did in his past, such as the reason why he ran away from Haberdae High...

Joseph is unclean, at least in his opinion. He's been told he's worthless, not good enough, and other insults... and he embraced that out of spite. He hurt people badly, caused harm he can't undo, sold himself for cheap, allowed people to use him and then throw him away...

In a way, Joseph doesn't feel worthy of Mary... but damned if he's going to let her go ever again.

Things change for Joseph once Mary finds him. His life takes a turn he never expected, brings him hope and light when he struggled to find either. For all his fears that he won't do right by the kids after all he's done, he finds his groove right away, connecting with the children in ways that he never thought he could. He worries about hurting Mary again, losing her again, not being worthy of her after all he's done... he worries about letting her down and the friends he made, the children who admire him.

Mary shows Joseph love and unwavering faith in him that he never felt even for himself. She helps him see that there's more to him than he ever realizes, and he so badly wants to be the man that she believes he is.

Joseph didn't want to push his sexual urges on Mary at the start of their relationship, determined to take things slow and do it right. He had extra pressure from learning that she was still a virgin... and guilt because he was not.

They were each other's first kiss, but Joseph slept around with many, many other people while Mary did not.

Despite this internalized self-loathing, Joseph did his best to be better for Mary, and for himself. He wanted to be the man that she saw him as, the special wish come true that she always said he was for her life. He'd grant her every wish and make her the happiest anyone could ever be. He'd protect her from the world, from illness, and even from his own darker urges.

Joseph did his best to hold himself back, which led to plenty of awkward boners to hide before they finally progressed to the point of making love. More than once he felt as if he was going to go crazy with how badly he wanted her, while also feeling guilty about lusting for Mary like some animal in heat. He was extra careful and delicate about their first time, worshipping every inch of her body and making sure to repay all the love she gave him.

One good thing about all his experience was that Joseph knew how to pleasure his partner very well. Mary was surprised that her first time wasn't painful like she expected it to be (aside from chronic pain, but he made her forget about that for a while too). He practically turned her into a quivering pile of goo by the time he was through with her. He couldn't stop after just one round, not after how many times he had gotten blue balls waiting until they were both ready for this.

Joseph might not have the empathy powers that share all his horny feelings during this time period, but he can still encourage Mary's libido to increase the old fashioned way. Though he takes the lead most of the time, he's very happy when she initiates. He gets quite the guilty thrill when his sunshine gets a bit jealous and possessive of him.

What Joseph has with Mary is such a different feeling from the dismissive relationships he had before that only saw his body. He's not a piece of meat to her. He's not property paid for. She makes him feel irreplaceable, like someone worth waiting for, someone to miss and long for. She cares deeply for what he wants and is so tender and loving...

Joseph desperately wants to be someone worthy of all the love Mary shows him.

He is even more desperate not to lose his sunshine again.

The rumor that Mary died when they were in high school might have been false, but that memory of loss still haunts Joseph. It comes to mind every time she has a flare up. He's left helpless but to just offer comfort and do what little he can while she whimpers and cries, praying that the pain passes soon...

The doctors are useless. Joseph gets so frustrated by their condescension and bumbling. He wants to save up money to take care of the both of them, give them a better life, and actually find someone who can actually do something about this damn illness. They're just sticking their thumbs up their asses and shrugging their shoulders while giving gormless looks as they suggest another test, another specialist...

And the bills just keep racking up.

It doesn't help that so much of their time is taken up working. Joseph worries about how hard Mary is pushing herself, how her attacks are coming more and more frequently. He sees her pushing herself too hard even while she tries to smile through the pain. She tries to be optimistic, saying there's nothing they can do about it, so they've just got to push through. He can see that she's given up on finding answers or a cure. He can't give up. He won't.

Mary hates that she worries Joseph so much about her health, especially since it seems so hopeless. She tries not to acknowledge her own worries and fears. There are times when she nearly breaks down from the pressure of keeping the show together and her fears that her body might be dying and the doctors are clueless. Is this symptom a sign of something dangerous or more of the same? Are they missing something all this time? Can they really afford to throw away more money just to get more apathetic shrugs instead of answers?

Stress leads to vices. Joseph drinks more coffee and alcohol to make it through. He keeps trying to kick the cigarette addiction, as it costs a lot of money they need for other things, but every time he does, the withdrawal symptoms get bad, and he has to take a puff to feel normal again. He tries at least to not smoke around Mary since he knows cigarettes are poison to the body, and she's already in delicate enough health as it is. She's his biggest motivation to quit, while the stress of his job the biggest reason why he can never quite manage it.

It's not just Joseph who falls victim to vices to make it through. Mary hates the taste of coffee but chokes it down like medicine in the morning to make it through the day. She avoids alcohol to not mess with whatever medicine she's currently on to keep the symptoms down, and sometimes she has to drop the coffee too if it interferes with the medicine.

Coffee isn't Mary's biggest vice. She tries different medications, sometimes prescribed, but most often just over the counter painkillers. Taking them too much lessens their effectiveness, and with the job pushing her harder and harder, her health is only degrading, forcing her to take more than what is safe.

Eventually, the over the counter meds aren't enough. A "friend" at the studio, one of the higher ups above Mary who runs her ragged notices her struggling and offers some "help."

Mary was no stranger to trying new types of medicines. The doctors all failed her, often times giving her things that resulted in side-effects that made things worse for her. The pain was getting worse, and she was desperate to feel better... to keep the show going and to be a success.

Mary never thought she would ever take illicit substances. Drugs are bad for you and lead to a dark road, she knew it from all the warnings teachers and even television gave her while growing up, but... she was already starting to break. She was barely holding things together for Joseph, for her friends, the show, the people counting on her, her parents...

They're just some pills, she's assured. A pharmacist friend of the "friend" is certain they're effective. Just try it and see.

They help. These pills from a sketchy source work better than anything Mary has ever tried before. She feels good for once, better than ever. The pain disappears for a while, and she's energized, happy. Why the hell did the doctors never prescribe these to her?

Unfortunately, as what happens when taking pills regularly, it stops being quite as effective. The dosage needs to be increased after a while to get the same high. The side-effects start to cause further issues, particularly as the dosage increases. The body gets strained, and the withdrawal symptoms of going without are agonizing.

Joseph does find out about the pills eventually... and he's far from happy about it, or what they've done to Mary.

Yes, Mary gets addicted to drugs. Show business unfortunately has a habit of doing that to people. The "friend" took the drugs recreationally and shared the "fun" with Mary.

The sad thing is Mary likely turned down things like this before when they were offered as a "party favor" at some gathering. Doing drugs to chase a high never tempted her. It was suffering and desperation that pushed her to make one of the biggest mistakes of her life.

Between drug usage, stress, pushing her body to the breaking point, chronic illness, and other such factors... Mary's health degraded. It was only a matter of time until her body couldn't take it anymore.

Joseph's murder was the breaking point for everything. When he died, a part of Mary died with him, along with all her hopes and dreams. For all the struggles, they did hope for a future together where they could live happily together... maybe raise a family. Even when they were forced apart years ago, she always kept that little hope in her heart that maybe someday she'd find him again.

This time... there was no finding him again. Joseph was dead. He was gone. Forever. Her starlight, her other half, her wish come true...

As if to rub salt in the wound, the studio ended the show. Not only that, they buried everything about it. They erased it... as if it never happened. As if none of the effort and pain and sacrifices ever existed at all. All of her work, Joseph's work, her friends' work... all reduced to ash. LambsWork recalled merch, tapes, etc. and destroyed them, erased the very name of the show, its characters, and those who worked on it from everywhere money and connections could reach. There was no internet to allow for independent archiving.

LambsWork produced new shows, created new distractions. The world moved on to the next big thing. The coworkers Mary and Joseph had grown to love were silenced by NDAs and threats, and were forced to move on.

Mary hoped to create a story that would live on after she died. When she got that death sentence from a doctor as a child, it was her one goal in life, to leave something of herself behind. Now it was gone... as was the person who loved her more than anyone else in the world.

Her wishes, her dreams, her love... it was all dead.

What did Mary have left to live for?

Without hope, Mary lost the will to live. She stopped fighting. The damage that had been done to her body was too much, and the wound to her heart simply refused to heal.

The friends she made when creating the show came to see her. They offered what little support they could in her final days, but they couldn't help her. No one could.

Her parents never visited her even once. They distanced themselves from her the same way LambsWork did. What good was she to them now? Their child helped them get connections in the entertainment industry, but she could do nothing for them now. She could have done more for them to actually be useful to them for once in her life. They wouldn't even bother with her "theatrics" after that "hooligan" died. Good riddance, they say.

It's a tragic ending where good people suffered terrible fates while awful people lived on, pocketing their ill gotten gains as they moved on without so much as a backward glance.

Of course I'm not satisfied with this sort of ending, so I'm decreeing that karma does get all these assholes eventually. I'm not quite sure how just yet, but I like the idea that the Phoenix parents eventually learned the meaning of regret, even if they never learn what it means to actually love anyone else but themselves.

Trust me, I'm gonna make sure they get some form of payback, as well as Joseph's neglectful and abusive parents.

As for LambsWork and the people there... their karma will also come as I develop more details of the story and flesh out more characters. It's developing, though slowly, as I admittedly keep getting distracted by fluff with my OTP.

Naturally, karma comes back around for Joseph and Mary in the form of Jack and Alice. It won't necessarily be an easy road for them, but the two of them will make it work in their next lives. The game might have multiple different endings, with some probably ending in a lot of gore and guts, but Sunshine in Hell's ending will be a happy one where Jack and Alice get to have the bright and shining future that was stolen from them.

Yes, that future does include babies ever after. Jack worried he would be bad around kids, but he eventually becomes the best daddy a child could ever ask for, and the best partner Alice could ever ask for.

Alice might wonder if someone as good as Jack could actually be real, but he's going to remind her that he's always been her wish come true. This time, nothing is going to stop them from achieving their dreams and being happy, together.

Although, if you would rather see a kinder world where Mary and Joseph don't have to wait until their next lives to have their happy ending, here's an AU where they manage to reach their golden years together.

I think I'll wrap things up on that warm and fuzzy note. I hope you enjoyed reading a bit more about Mary and Joseph and their entanglement with LambsWork Productions.

#Sunny Day Jack #Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack #SunnyDayJack #sdj #swwsdj #Headcanon Ramblings #My Writing

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umahumahumah · 7 months ago

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How about Kenya?

Don't worry guys I haven't forgotten about this its been in the back of my head the entire time </3 i decided to draw them in wwii uniforms this time for a change of pace, but maybe ill draw them in their traditional clothes some other time

first off, kenya!!! shes actually already a canon character but shes barely in hetalia. forever cursed to be a gakuen hetalia chibi head... sigh...

even though nothing hints to this in her appearance in gakuen hetalia, i think she would have a kind of tomboyish and energetic personality! like the girl-next-door type! she's also the first person to ask seychelles a question in the gakuen hetalia demo, which makes me think shes a huge extrovert.

sometimes i wonder if she was part of the group of countries who laughed at seychelles' coat of arms. in my heart, i wanna believe she didnt... but um she probably did. bruh who knows the demo is over a decade old now himas not gonna confirm it. please come back to hetalia, kenya. i need you.

next is malta! his appearance is a little scuffed here because he was going through it in wwii, but he's doing way better in present day

obviously he was influenced by italy so he naturally gets an italian curl. i like to think that he looked up to romano when he was younger and started subconciously taking after him. i was debating whether i should give him thick eyebrows or not, but i think france's occupation cancels it out even if it was a really short time.

in present day i think he cares a lot about his architecture and tourism. i think he'd also be a bit of a womanizer due to the italies' influence on him but he definitely has a lot more decency compared to them. or maybe hes just toos hy to talk to them, that would be cute lol

last is morocco! she was kind of fun to design and i was thinking about her personality throughout while drawing her. i like to think that she is pretty intelligent and is capable of doing a lot of stuff... but she'd rather go smoke weed and have parties, so she feigns ignorance to get out of her responsibilities. on top of that, because of france, she is a huge romantic and can make people swoon for her with just one word

i have no idea if hima would ever make a character like this since his girl characters mostly appeal to cuteness rather than uhh sultriness? but i think moroccos laziness has a cute appeal if you squint hard enough. if he does make a girl character like this i think she'd be some sort of bait and switch or something

also here are some bonus chibis of characters i already designed, mexico and uzbekistan!

i decided to redraw mexico because i dont think i did mexico justice having his back away from the camera. come to think of it maybe i should have drawn him in the mexican revolution uniform but there was already a pattern of wwii going on anyways...

uzbekistan is my favorite design from this series, which is why i decided to draw him again. tbh i think his first appearance didnt seem to come across as sandcat-like, so i decided to change his eyes a little bit, but overall he stayed the same. i wanted to change his pupils to dots, like germany, but it made him look too different

#hetalia #aph #hws #aph kenya #hws kenya #aph malta #hws malta #aph morocco #hws morocco #aph mexico #hws mexico #aph uzbekistan #hws uzbekistan #hetalia oc

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em7raen · 5 months ago

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Am I the only one who tries to make my fanart of kris look as Canon as possible?

i used to try to , but ive had a lot of fun messing with all the characters' designs XD maybe one day ill try drawing them sprite accurate again HAHA

#asks

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burst-of-iridescent · 2 years ago

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Oh, thank you, my day is good, but after your message it got even better! I really found solace on Tumblr, which I could not find either in these terrible comics or in LOTR. To be honest, I hardly mastered the latter at all, literally forcing myself to watch series after series, searching in vain for the former depth of characters and conflict. In my opinion, LOTR is a complete failure on all fronts, with the exception of high-quality drawing. If it's about comics, it's an illogical development of events, which, unfortunately, is laid down in the last series. I wanted to ask you -how do you feel about Ursa's line? I was offended by her decision to leave the children (of course, it happened against her will, but still -to change her face and personality, forget about her beloved son and lead a happy life with an old lover?! Don't get it wrong, a woman should suffer for the rest of her days because of a failed marriage, she should not give up happiness if fate sends. But in the context of this story, in your opinion, does it not look like a betrayal, first of all of herself (Ursa?), and of course her children. She couldn't help but understand what kind of hell they got into, first of all the son, after her disappearance. And if you also disagree with this "canon", what would you see the fate of Zuko and Azula's mother? (sorry for such a long letter!)

hi again! thank you, you're so sweet!

i 100% feel you on both LOK (i'm guessing LOTR is a typo?) and the comics. it's so disappointing because both the show and the comics have some great conceptual ideas, and in the hands of competent writers, could've been excellent continuations of ATLA and worthwhile successors... but instead we got a flaming pile of garbage that deserves to be at the bottom of the sea.

the search isn't the worst atla comic imo (that honour goes to the promise) but it's definitely doing its damn best to earn that spot. i hate so many things about that comic: the outdated, insulting depictions of mental illness and mental healthcare in azula's story, zuko getting a "replacement sister" in kiyi as a fix-it bandaid, the fact that it becomes a whole gaang adventure when the correct narrative choice would've been for zuko and katara (and maybe azula at most) to take this trip together as a full circle from the southern raiders, katara and sokka's only role in the story being to foil zuko and azula and nothing else, and of course... the complete annihilation of everything ursa's character was set up to be in atla.

i agree with you that it is very much a betrayal of ursa's character for her to willingly lose her memories. she knows she's leaving her children in the hands of a dangerous abuser, one who's already molding her daughter into a lethal weapon and was fully ready to murder her son, who has proven his willingness to sacrifice his children without hesitation if it benefits him. but despite this, despite the fact that she committed murder, accepted exile and even risked her life (for she had no way of knowing if ozai would simply let her leave peacefully) to protect her child... suddenly she's willing to throw all of that away and fuck off with her childhood lover at the first opportunity?

it baffles me why bryke didn't at least make ursa's memory loss an accident, which would've both explained her absence and why she never went to look for her children without committing character assassination in the process - but that's probably expecting too much logical writing from those two.

i'm actually planning a post-canon book 4 zutara fic that would include a rewrite of the search, where ursa didn't just fuck off to do nothing, but actually had a redemption arc very similar to zuko's after secretly fleeing to live in the earth kingdom and seeing the damage the war had done. she takes it upon herself to right the fire nation's wrongs, and grows particularly invested in air nomad culture, seeing it as her duty to try and bring back some of what the genocide had destroyed. shortly before zuko's banishment she sets out to find the remnants of a people long believed to be gone - and finds that maybe they're not entirely gone after all.

i won't spoil the rest, but i think it'll both explain why ursa never went back for zuko and azula while still giving her a meaningful story that didn't involve just swapping one family for another. if only we'd gotten something similar in the comics but alas... bryke gonna bryke.

thanks for the ask! no worries about it being long, i thoroughly enjoy reading your thoughts <3

#anti atla comics #anti the search #anti bryke #zutara #asks

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spacerockwriting · 1 year ago

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Gallavich intro

Thank you so much @callivich for making a gallavich intro meme thing!

Name: Comet

Age: 32

What made you fall in love with Gallavich? Their story. I love angsty plots and shit, and Idk. I just really fell hard for them. Like really hard. And having shitty dads is something I relate to, sooo that might be an added thing.

How long have you been a fan? Since like May? I was binging the show 3-4 times a day to get through all 11 seasons. I'm rebinging it again, so there's that.

Favourite Gallavich moment/scene? I'm rewatching season 1, so I do love the Mandy/Ian/Mickey moments we see. But I think Mickey taking care of Ian with his bipolar is one of my favorite moments. We're seeing just how much Mickey cares. As someone with mental illness, I really love seeing that. Ngl, I also love Groomzilla Mick and the wild ride of season 11.

Favourite Shameless character apart from Ian and Mickey? So it's probably Lip and Carl. I love Ian and Lip's closeness, and I love how chaotic and unhinged Carl is. Just shit like where do the gay weiners go? makes me crack up.

Do you write or draw or make edits? Yes!!! Been posting my writing here! And I'll link the full fic on A03 when I'm finished! Haven't done any edits or anything, but maybe I'll start. Good excuse to get out my tablet.

Favourite type of Gallavich fics? I'm pretty open. I like angst, substance, slow burn. I do a lot of fic reading at work, so please send me recommedations for stuff! I prefer long completed fics for those instances. AU's work, slow burn, canon divergence. The only thing I'm not really into is the A/B/O stuff. I also like fluffy onshots! I'll read those before bed, usually.

Favourite Gallavich quote? "Don't." "IAN GALLAGHERRRRR!!" Mickey's soft I love you. The unhinged S11: "That's Gay. We're Gay. Not that Gay." "Man I hate the fucking gays with all their meh and their bleh." Also not gallavich but I say Not cool, Jimmy-Steve like once a day at least.

Anything else you’d like to share about yourself? I'm really glad to be in this fandom as Shameless as been my hyperfixation for a while now. I'm so glad to be in such a welcoming fandom! Also @galladrabbles has been what I look forward to every week so there's that!

#gallavich #gallavichintro

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schizodiaries · 4 months ago

Note

I saw your recent post about how you cope with your hospitalisation and I keep thinking about it

I've already told you about my medication carrying case that looks like a PS1/Net Yaroze and my menhera tights and skirt

I also have a private "Self" aesthetic board on the go and it has a section for disability and health, with images like pills and hospital beds and phrases like "I feel tired" and "I told you I was sick"

Recently, I got some stickers from RedBubble and put them on water bottles to match my colour scheme for all my school stuff. One of them is a blue syringe and one of them is a purple bandaid. Aestheticising my medical conditions yet again.

I sometimes have a temptation to buy some cheap scrubs and just... wear them around the house, I guess to feel like I'm in the position of power for once. I mean, people roleplay positions of power all the time in the forms of cosplay, drag, etc. where they pretend to be a superhero or a CEO or something, but this would be in the privacy of my own home.

I bring stuffed animals with me to medical things if I suspect there's a chance it could be emotionally hard, so I brought a turkey to my surgery back in October. I felt very safe and respected by the staff that day. Sometimes when I'm really upset, I turn to that turkey because she now has the memories associated with her of going for surgery. (Don't worry, I cycle through plushies so that they don't typically have memories strongly associated with them and then the upsetting moments don't get tied to them.)

One of my stuffed animals is a bear from Build-A-Bear. I still haven't worked out the specifics despite having her since 2018, but in my little canon for my BABs, she is disabled. I want to get her a tiny pill case from the drug store to use as an accessory for her, and maybe I'll construct her a cane. I've been planning my future BABs, so I want to get a Barkleigh (dog) and make her a nurse as well as get a Jennifur (cat) and make her a pharmacist, because those are both professions I tend to feel safe with.

Just... I guess I do stuff similar to what you do!! In case you felt alone about it. Except mine has a flavour of physical chronic illness to it too.

This is very touching, thank you for sharing! I think in the past I was a bit ashamed of my romanticization of my mental hospital experience, like I felt as though I was trivializing the experience or infantilizing myself. It honestly does help a lot to know there are others who view their medical issues in a more positive and fun light. It’s a harmless coping mechanism, after all, so I’ve learned not to be ashamed of it. If people don’t like it or it makes them uncomfortable they can simply ignore it or avoid me.

I really like the idea of customizing a build a bear to be disabled, and giving them a small pill case and cane too. I think that’s a cute idea. I’m not much of a plushie person myself, but I love creating OCs (original characters). Actually the “mascot” of my blog is supposed to be an OC of mine named Emilia. They have schizoaffective disorder too, and I’ve been meaning to draw them more but I haven’t had the motivation recently. When I do get around to it, I think I’ll draw them in a menhera-style outfit or setting, or holding a medicine bottle or something fun like that. The possibilities are endless!

#inbox #personal

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themediummultiverseau · 2 years ago

Note

Will papyrus ever be included in the storyline, maybe sans opening up to him about it, or he gets suspicious about sans's behavior and corners him or something?

Aaaand are there any prominent side characters that we'll see?

Papyrus notices that his brother has been leaving the house more, and at first, hes overjoyed! Sans was finally leaving the house! But, he realised after a while, that he always dodged the question as to where he was going. (Sans, being the secretive little fuck that he is, refuses to tell anyone about the ghosts.) Worried, Papyrus follows him one day, only to find him walking al the way to the park. And then he just stops, and starts talking to air.

Papyrus is CONCERNED (tm,) and goes back home to wait for Sans to come home. It takes him HOURS to come back, (he visits everyone he can,) and, when confronted, he once again try to avoid the questions.

Papyrus says he followed him, saw him talking to air, and was considering getting him professional help, his depression had been bad before, and if he was starting to see things now as well...

Sans is forced to tell the truth.

And he does. For the next few hours they sit and talk about the ghosts. Papyrus want to believe him, really, he does! But he cant help but still be worried, so says takes his phone out and googles "Nightmare - Prince" and shows him the results. He then goes through the lot of them, showing death reports, news articles, anything that appears really, and Papyrus finally believes him.

From then on, he insists Sans takes something for them every time he visits, and often makes them food to give (more often that not, its spaghetti,) and asks how they're doing. Sometimes, they go and Sans acts as a medium, for them, so Papyrus and the ghosts can talk directly.

Killer and Dream especially take a liking to him, while Dust is pretty scared of him (he looks way to much like his won brother its actually scary,) and always ask how he is when Sans comes without him.

Side characters.. It depends what you mean by that.

Every Sans you could ever want can exist here, they just might not haunt the town,

(i got lazy when drawing here, so its just a messy sketch but yk)

(Red - shot, epic - shrapnel, Fresh - car crash, Outer - fell)

Alternatively, most of the ghosts had family members, most of them had a Papyrus look alike, (Papyrus isn't reincarnated here, but every Sans deserves a Papyrus, even fate believes it so)

(Nim (Dream and Nightmares mother, Queen), Phantom (Dusts brother,) Horror had lots of siblings, ect...)

Buuut, while many of the original Undertale cast have been spread out throughout the years, Toriel, Chara and Frisk are all based in the present time.

Toriel, after the death of her son, adopts two kids, twins, who were considered "difficult" children, (really there were disabled, but why would they care about that, - Chara has some mental issues, and Frist is mute and has sight problems.) They're lovely kids , and they visit quite regularly, typically with their mother. Sans was named their Godfather (Papyrus was considered, but he told them Sans was a better choice, ) because Toriel knew he'd love them.

Sans and Toriel met at a comedy gig, both preforming on the same day, and became friends instantly over their shared love of stupid puns. (They're not together, this universe has no canonical relationships, everyting's platonic here, but ships are totally allowed and welcome if you wanted lol.)

Holy moly, that was a lot of work lmao, would you believe it, i dont think ive ever actually drawn Papyrus before? I have no idea why, just havent, ill have to do more so in the future cus hes fun.

Ive also never tried to draw anyone from the angle Sans is at in the first drawing, think it looks fine as long as you ignore the feet lol.

No, i didnt get lazy drawing the ghost in the first, it was a stylistic choice! /j /sarcasm, also, Hi, im Whisp, i hate backgrounds!)

Please excuse me attempt at drawing a wimple for Nim and the tricorned hat for Phantom, they're very difficult!

All of Horrors siblings there don't have names, they were just designed on the spot really, so if anyone has and names for them, ill take them on board!

But hope it all looks okay, this is all full of firsts lol. Have a lovely day everyone! :)

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circus-complex · 8 months ago

Text

Glass Mind | Chapter 3/?

Rating: Teen +

Relationships: Feng Xin/Mu Qing

Characters: Feng Xin, Mu Qing

Tags: feng xin falls ill, Canon-typical swearing, mu qing has to care for him, Febuwhump 2024, Slow Burn, Feng Xin and Mu Qing are slightly OOC, Fluff and Angst, Fluff, Angst

Feng Xin falls ill, messing with his head. Mu Qing tasks himself with taking care of him. Does Mu Qing truly hate Feng Xin?

Also on AO3

Full chapter under the cut

Feng Xin grew alert as the steam touched his face. He clawed at Mu Qing’s robes, making noises of protest. Mu Qing ignored him, and set Feng Xin on the ground. The door was locked, and all the windows were made of the finest glass. There was no chance for him to escape.

Water was already seeping into the hem of Mu Qing’s robes. He removed them, leaving only the innermost one. Folding them and putting them to the side, he sighed. Feng Xin couldn’t wash himself but…Mu Qing didn’t know the god of the southeast well enough to do it.

Ling Wen? Mu Qing spoke into a private communication array. Who is Feng Xin closest with?

Ling Wen took a moment to respond. Well, apart from you and Xie Lian, he doesn’t have many friends. He always works alone, only with others when forced too.

I’m not his friend.

Mn, ok.

Mu Qing groaned. He could ask Xie Lian to bathe Feng Xin, but he was probably busy with that “San Lang” of his. All of Feng Xin’s attendants were there to manage prayers, not manage the gods' basic needs.

Turning back towards Feng Xin, he crossed his arms.

“Alright, guess I’m the one doing this”

✦✦✦

Feng Xin squealed. The floor was safe, with all the grass. But that odd man was trying to get him into the lava. That wasn’t safe.

He squirmed as the odd man – he looked familiar. Maybe he’s safe? No, he’s not. He’s trying to hurt me! Feng Xin squirmed as he was picked up, but couldn’t leave. His limbs were jelly, melting onto the floor. As he was lowered into the orange liquid, he desperately tried to claw his way out.

Oh. It's cold. He relaxed. From the lava rose iridescent bubbles, shimmering and taunting. Feng Xin giggled as he reached up for them. His hand passed through them, and they exploded.

Startled, Feng Xin lept back. He heard the man hiss - what was he doing here? - but he paid him no mind. He was mesmerized by the flakes of color floating down. They extended into long tendrils of light, curling around his fingers and winding up his arms.

He stayed like that for a while. The light seemed to want to play, so he let it. It ran up and down his body, leaving a trail of foam in its wake. Another wave of light passed down his body - it was cold? - washing the trail away.

Oh. The man was back. He grabbed Feng Xin, pulling him out of the lava. Why did he do that, didn’t he want Feng Xin in the lava? And the bubbles! They were gone! He huffed. This man was no fun.

“Why’d you take the bubbles away?” He stared at the man.

“What?”

“The bubbles! They were so shiny…” Feng Xin trailed off. The snake! It was back!

That snake. It had been trying to eat Feng Xin for the past few days. But he wouldn’t let it!

“Feng Xin? What’s going on?” The man reached for him.

“How do you know my name?”

✦✦✦

“I…” Mu Qing couldn’t think of an answer.

“Well come on! That snake is going to bite you, let's go!” Feng Xin grabbed Mu Qing’s arm, and started dragging him out of the baths. Mu Qing wasn’t sure what Feng Xin was doing, but played along. He was surprised that Feng Xin could see him, and that he was able to communicate. He’d been so distant, for him to suddenly be partially-aware of his surroundings and coherent was startling.

He played along, not wanting Feng Xin to go away again. Mu Qing was dragged back to the bedroom. Feng Xin practically pushed Mu Qing to sit on the floor, and grabbed a brush from his desk. He started to draw symbols on the floor, caging Mu Qing inside.

At first, Mu Qing thought he was trying to draw a transportation array. But the shapes on the floor resembled no such thing. They were haphazard words, scribbled in madness. Feng Xin seemed to be writing the same two characters over and over, but Mu Qing couldn’t read it. Hua Cheng’s writing looked beautiful compared to this.

“Feng Xin? What are you writing?”

Feng Xin didn’t respond. He just mumbled nonsense under his breath. Mu Qing sighed once again. He seemed to have slipped back into that dazed state, and who knows how long it would take for him to come out of it. He had nothing better to do, it was rather peaceful right now, so he’d just sit and wait.

#fengqing #feng xin #mu qing #tgcf #heaven officials blessing #ao3 fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #writing from the circus

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kmhnsecretexchange · 2 years ago

Text

Title: Bruised Not Broken

Author: Tee/Cherry @one-way-dream, KILLC0MMAND (Twitter)

For: idvnagito (Twitter)

Pairings/Characters: Hajime Hinata/Nagito Komaeda, Hajime Hinata, Nagito Komaeda

Rating/Warnings: General Audiences, Canon-Typical Violence, Mentions of mild injuries

Prompt: Pre-game + Established Relationship - Hajime witnesses Nagito getting picked on and physically bullied by some other kids in the Reserve Course, saving him and intervening. Hajime is slightly offended Nagito never told him about it, and Nagito panics, thinking Hajime is mad at him when that isn’t the case at all - they make up and go back to Hajime’s house where Hajime takes care of Nagito’s wounds!

Author’s notes: WAAA I’M SORRY i misread the prompt a little! my sincere apolocheese but still i hope you enjoy it! ❤ it was fun to write this and i hope to see you around for the next exchange as well! :]

“It’s just another day,” he tells himself. “Just push through it.”

It’s like a mantra to him; something to keep focused on when he’s put through yet another instance of his luck cycle making him suffer. Well, maybe “suffer” was too grave of a word. He’s been through worse, after all – far worse.

It’s just that all the other times were due to circumstances beyond his control. He’s been reassured time and time again that the other instances weren’t his fault, and really, it seemed like his luck often had a mind of its own more than anything.

But this…?

He laughed breezily, feeling his ribs ache under the pressure. The line of blood coming out of his nose became one with the blood coming out of his split bottom lip.

This was malicious. This was something the others could control – something they could stop at any time if they had that restraint.

And he gets it, it’s hard being a Reserve Course student; he understood that well enough now. But people like them, regardless of their talent or lack thereof, would never see eye-to-eye even if he tried to explain that he was on the same level. It seemed that at the end of the day, all they’d ever want is a punching bag to lash out their frustrations on.

And well, for all the trash-talking he’s done about the Reserve Course up until now, Nagito certainly feels that maybe he deserves this a little.

A few more shaky breaths leave him, the taste of blood in his mouth becoming increasingly more repulsive as the minutes roll by. The other boys stand around a few feet away like vultures, contemplating whether they should get one more kick in or flee the scene before security catches on. But he has to stay still, stay silent and bear it for a little longer. Maybe he’ll just get some rest. He doesn’t want to draw attention while there’s still students milling around the building; who knows what’ll happen if an innocent bystander gets caught up in his luck.

After a few long minutes, he cautiously opens his eyes and sees that he’s finally alone. Nagito picks up his head and looks around out of curiosity, remembering how the other boys had dragged him by the scruff of his collar and kicked him until his body collided against the side of the building. It was all a little hazy from then on out, besides the taste of salt in his mouth and gravel between the crown of his molars. Although the occasional kick to the gut stunned him back to consciousness, it didn’t last very long before he’d pass out again, with his body as weak and disgustingly sickly as it is.

Moving to check his phone hurt too much, so he opted to lay there, waiting for the sun to dip into the horizon a little more so he could slink back to his dorm like he’s done time and time again.

And so, he lets his eyes flutter shut as his breathing evens out; warm and throbbing bruises growing colder in the evening shadows. It’s not cold enough for anyone to fall ill, but knowing his immunity, it’s damn likely that he will anyway – maybe deathly enough to skip a few exams, even.

“What a pain…” He mumbles to himself under his breath, not catching the way the not-so-distant footsteps suddenly scrape to a halt against the concrete.

“What… the hell…?”

Nagito’s body jolts against the cold and damp concrete of the building, head whipping in the direction of the familiar voice to see one of his worst fears realized. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he wonders when that changed from dying alone and unloved to Hajime Hinata finding him in a helpless and pathetic state.

“Hinata-kun, what a pleasant surprise…” Despite the way his torn lips burn and ache, he gives a small smile at the sight of him. He wonders when his boyfriend managed to make him feel secure enough that he didn’t have to think about his old fears anymore. He wonders how he manages to simultaneously make his heart sink with dread and soar with affection even in the condition that he’s in.

Hajime drops everything he’s carrying with a thud and runs towards Nagito, neither of them taking their eyes off of each other, before he drops to his knees, uncaring about the way his pants frayed and left his skin scraped against the cemented path. “Who… Komaeda, how did this— who did this to you…?”

The way Hajime reaches out to cup his face, run a careful thumb over his bruised cheekbone, almost makes Nagito want to cry – and it wasn’t from the way his body ached all over. He blinks away the mistiness and looks away from Hajime, shame burning in his gut before he slowly replies, “Does it even matter?”

Nagito doesn’t miss the way Hajime’s hand quivers for a moment, although he doesn’t know if it’s from anger or something else. He doesn’t even know who it’s meant to be directed towards, but he wouldn’t be surprised if it was him, even if the very thought makes his chest burn. But the second he looks back into Hajime’s warm golden eyes despite his frustrated expression, he knows the answer.

“Maybe not… now, not anymore but,” Hajime’s voice softens with regret, hands sliding down to carefully grip the other boy’s shoulders, “I want you to tell me anyway. I can’t— I won’t let anything like this happen to you again.”

If the way Hajime stared straight into Nagito’s eyes with a burning determination wasn’t enough to make him relent, the wavering yet sincere tone of his voice would do him in. He licks his lips before shakily replying, “They were just some Reserve Course boys,” he mumbles, eyes downcast once more, “I, um, don’t know what I said to upset them, but… maybe I told them a really bad joke?”

Hajime’s mouth presses into a thin line through Nagito’s sheepish laugh. He lets out an exasperated sigh before leaning back on his heels, hands outstretched to the other. Hajime’s takes in a clipped breath, heart pounding in his throat for some reason as he says the next few words.

“…Nagito, can you stand?”

-x-

Nagito had his very own special key to the nurse’s office on account of the fact that he gets injured often. Far more often than the average student, besides maybe Makoto Naegi on a bad luck streak. But even between the two of them, he’d always somehow end up with worse scrapes – bad enough to warrant constant access to medical supplies even beyond school hours.

The two of them slip in, their fingers loosely tangled together as to not accidentally hurt Nagito while also comforting him. Nagito looked back at the other with a small smile as he flicked light switch on, overhead white tube-lights stuttering to life after a breath of hesitancy.

Hajime took the lead, gently ushering Nagito to the bed, stripped of its usual crepe paper lining. Neither of them had the energy to bother – it was eight ‘o’ clock in the evening and there were barely any people around besides the security guard who seemed like he lived solely off of giving the stink eye to unsuspecting Reserve Course students.

“Come on, let’s get you seated so I can find the medical supplies.” Hajime took hold of the other’s shoulders, carefully setting him down on the bed as a shuddering pained groan leaves Nagito through clenched teeth. The anxiety that had been steadily bubbling in Hajime’s chest was now overflowing at the sound. His rough hands find their way to cup his boyfriend’s warm but gravel-scraped cheeks. He can’t help the way his frown deepens or how his eyebrows furrow together in worry over the other.

He just… can’t believe it.

Hajime swallows thickly, staring right down into Nagito’s eyes before brushing his bangs aside and leaning in to brush his lips against his forehead. And before he knows it, he does it again. And again.

Something like a giggle erupts from Nagito, “Is this your way of curing me? Because I don’t think this’ll fly in medical school, but… I admire the ambition,” he gently pulls away to look at Hajime with fondness in his eyes, “I’ve always admired your ambition; it’s what I love most about you.”

The way Hajime’s heart leaps into his throat causes him to choke a little before clearing his throat, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to get carried away Nagito, I just—”

“You thought I looked pathetic?”

“—What?! No! It just… it just made me realize that I need to be there for you more, is all. I’m… not happy about the fact that you never told me but now that I know, I…” Hajime hesitates, eyes darting to the side as he feels heat crawl up his neck, “Well, you know what I’m trying to say. Don’t make me say it again.”

Hajime quickly pulls away from Nagito, away from his questioning eyes, to search around for the first aid kit. He scans the room, finding shelves full of supplies and a refrigerator full of blood bags. He reaches for the shelf first, carefully shifting aside the bottles of antiseptic to find a row of first aid kits stored at the back. The one on the far right is plucked as he returns to an injured Nagito, but not before he stops to take a bottle of antiseptic – just in case.

Nagito watches him pace across the room to the sink, grabbing a handful of cotton balls and a plastic cup of water before he rushes back to him and lays it all out on the bedside table. He doubts he’ll need the bandages anymore, given that his blood has probably already clotted the wounds shut, but his chest feels warm at seeing Hajime care so much anyway.

He carefully lifts his legs onto the bed and leans against the headrest, trying not to think about the throbbing wounds on his back. “Hinata-kun…?”

“Mhm?”

Nagito looks back at Hajime who brings the cup of water to his lips, supporting the back of his head with his other hand. Through slow sips, he thinks his words through before gently nudging the cup away. “…When did you start calling me Nagito?”

Hajime’s gaze falters for a moment as he sets the cup back down. He says nothing for a while, working away at the first aid kit. Eventually he steps forward and helps Nagito shimmy up the bed a little, sitting down in front of him to carefully undo his jacket, vest, tie, and shirt. A few hisses leave Nagito, but nothing more; nothing that’d give away how much damage they’d actually done over the past few weeks. He couldn’t let Hajime know that.

Hajime squeezes his eyes shut at the sight for a moment before forcing them open again, taking in the small cuts and the black and blue splotches by his ribcage. A large bruise blooms over his diaphragm, and it boils Hajime’s blood to realize that he knows exactly how it got there.

Finally, he takes a sharp breath and finally opens his mouth as he runs a piece of antiseptic-soaked cotton over Nagito’s cuts.

“I started calling you Nagito today,” Hajime looks straight into Nagito’s virescent silver eyes, “And I won’t take it back. I won’t go back to ‘Komaeda’.”

The boy widens his eyes at the words, barely holding back a flinch. He takes a deep breath, steadying his heart for a moment, before looking away with a smile. “I wonder why that is, exactly…”

Hajime peels a bandage from its wrapping, blowing cool air on the freshly disinfected cut under his collar bone. Nagito shivers at chilly sensation, even though his face burns from the proximity. As Hajime pastes the bandage on, he speaks again in a gentle voice. “I just… want to be closer to you.”

“Closer? Aren’t we already close?”

He looks back at Nagito for a moment before focusing his attention back on the bloodied cotton swap in his hand. The whole bed smelled a little like antiseptic. Nagito smelled entirely like antiseptic.

“I mean, close enough that you can tell me. Close enough so something like this won’t happen next time.”

“Hinata-kun, they were just some Reserve Course students – I understand that they’re just stressed—”

“I don’t care that they’re stressed, I care about you!” Hajime exclaims, not realizing how loud his voice had gotten in the confines of the empty nurse’s office. But he didn’t waver. “I care about you.”

The room settles into silence again as a piece of cotton gets bandaged over the cut of his jaw. Hajime lets his hand linger there for a moment, fingers ghosting over his skin. Nagito is the first to start talking again.

“I know you care, but… is it really that simple? How are you of all people going to stop them from harassing me.”

Hajime scoffs lightly, “At least you realize that it’s harassment, even though that’s putting it mildly. But tell me one thing: do you really, truly think you deserve it? After all that you’ve seen, all that you’ve endured your whole life, do you really think they deserve to treat you like a punching bag?”

Not a single sound leaves the other boy. His eyes flit from Hajime’s face to the reddish wounds on his palms, and then back to Hajime’s kind expression. The past few months that he’s been dating him have been some of the best in his otherwise miserable life. He already knows how strongly Hajime feels about this, and his persuasion hasn’t fallen on deaf ears; he already knows his answer.

Hajime overlaps his hand over Nagito’s with a gentleness he didn’t know he possessed, “See? Even you know, don’t you?” He smiles and brushes a thumb over the curve of his index finger. “Even if I might not be able to stop every occurrence, I’ll make damn sure I do everything I can to keep them away from you. And in return I… want you to trust me.”

His breath hitches.

“I want you to tell me everything. I want you to be able to confide in me no matter how big or small an issue is.” Hajime’s breathing picks up, a surefire tell for the other when he feels nervous about something, “Nagito… I want you to believe in me.”

Nagito looks away huffs out in faux annoyance, trying and failing to hide a small grin on his face, “Stubborn, aren’t you?”

Yet he’s the first to lace their fingers together, ugly scrapes and cuts and all.

“Alright, Hajime. I’ll believe in you.”

#kmhnsecretexchange #submission #fanfiction #sfw #komahina #nagito komaeda #hajime hinata #dr #sdr2 #dr3

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soukokutruther · 11 months ago

Text

im not waiting for anyone to ask me, im just infodumping ab dazai

i like him for a lot of reasons !! it usually starts out that i relate to characters, which is how it started w dazai too, but really idk bro he just makes me so sad and idk how to explain i just LOVE DAZAI hes my baby hes my pookie ill die for him thats all anyone needs to know

i have a lot, but id say probably that he likes cats/is compared to cats a lot, and is good with children, i just find it very sweet. also i love his style, and i love how intelligent he is.

how he treated akutagawa, although i dont blame him since he was like, a child, who didnt know how else to act due to how he was raised and grew up, too, although it still doesnt excuse it, and its still my least fav thing about him.

tokyo ghoul

dove- doll version (antihoney),

elements of my past (metaphorically, i wasnt in the mafia obviously 😭), cats >>> dogs, secretive, im not dazai smart but i mean id say im pretty intelligent 🤷🏻, mindset, um !! other stuff !! 🥰

i like how deeply they analyze him in order to understand him better and dont water him down to just "sad suicidal bandage man" (like ive seen some ppl do)

erm... i dont like how the rest of them water him down to sad suicidal bandage man. i also hate when people say hes a bad person, because hes not, the whole point of bsd is that most if not all characters are morally gray, and although dazai did things that were in fact, not okay, its not so black and white to be like "omg fuck he sucks hes a terrible character" (obviously u can still dislike him bc everyone has an opinion and thats okay but like as a character hes a lot more than just a bad person 😭 in fact id say hes grown to be a very good person)

i could see it tbh

i could also def see it (atsushi kinnie moment fr)

meh maybe, im more of a chuuya and poe guy tho 😁

i have a lot, i hc him to be an age regressor, and also i hc him to be autistic + transmasc. also hc that when they were in the mafia and chuuya found out dazai was living in a shipping container chuuya forced him to move in w him :3

i could see him using this all the time 🤕 and also :P he def sends that as kunikida screams at him over text lmfao

light academia

soukoku OBVIOUSLY, im THE soukoku truther (i also like sigzai but just for fun tbh, and i LOVE souheki but i see them as a qpr more than a ship. i dabble in kunizai every now and again as well)

i have a lot of least favs 💀 prob dazatsu and odazai, theyre both so wrong for so many reasons 😭

fyozai, im 50/50 on it because i can see it, but also idk what it is i just cant rly get myself behind it

soukoku !! <333 its not canon theyre a ship, but they do have a very beautiful canon relationship, whatever the dynamic of it may be

fyozai...

dazatsu !! i love them as best friends, theyre so sweet :)

i love to do a lot of things when writing dazai lmfao, i love to write dazai agere/petre fics, i love to make him sad and depressed mwahahahaha, i love to just make him suffer honestly (but its okay its always hurt/comfort i wouldnt do that to pook) !! but also im not evil (mostly), i love to make him pet kitties in fics/draw him w cats, i love writing him going out to bookstores and reading, i love writing autistic dazai, transmasc dazai, i love describing his eyes and how he looks in the moonlight, i just love writing ab dazai tbh. smth i dont like ?? idk making him cis, dazai is transmasc to me and will never be anything else tyvm have a good day 👍🏻

honestly the same things as before, i write what i wanna read lmfao

fav pic, i do have one, i just dont feel like getting it rn sry :3

honestly dazai is rly unique ive never quite come across another character like him 😭 i do think of him when i see lucky from acnh tho hehe

loved him from when i first laid eyes on him, will die loving my pookie <333

CHARACTER ASK GAME!!! 💫

Send a character + one or more of these question!

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

10. Could you be best friends with this character?

11. Would you date this character?

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

17. What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?

23. Favorite picture of this character?

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

26. FREEBIE QUESTION!!

#dazai #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #dazai bsd #bsd #bungo stray dogs

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transk0vsky · 24 days ago

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someone might have asked this already but maybe peter and / or andrey headcanons? :D

Uhh going with Peter since ehhh?!! This seal shrugs in ambivalence towards Andrey, these are probably gonna suck though because he’s not a character I feel like I have a firm grasp on? Also for this one I mention suicide near the end (nothing graphic dw) but I still do touch on it!

There’s this one art that the person who drew my icon did of Andrey being Italian and I’ve just never forgotten that art I’ll link it here if anyone wants but due to that artwork I tend to view Peter and Andrey as Italian (or like Italian and Russian…whatever I don’t give a fuck anymore)

He’s easily competing with Danill as the most mentally ill character in all of pathologic this man has the cohort, depression,Autistim,depersonalization/derealization and a mood disorder of some kind. He is extremely unwell

He’s got the worst back pain known to man…he’s almost 30 and he sleeps in a fucking bathtub that man’s body must be aching in pain!

Mentioned this in the Eva hcs I talked about but I hc he designed a tattoo for Eva at some point, he’d probably offer to do a tattoo for you as well however it’s gonna get infected maybe just only let him do the design please? Don’t let him actually the tattooing part…unless you like infections?

On a similar note there’s this one art of of Anna in clown makeup painting his face that I really like so I think he’d let Anna fuck around with all sorts of face painting stuff on him. (Again another case of if anyone wants to see the art I’m talking about I’ll double back and link it.)

Type of person who absentmindedly draws on himself.

To me he’s bisexual and demiromantic and his gender remains an enigma to me….though I’m leaning towards both him a being trans man as of the current moment though this could change.

Speaking of that I tend to read his relationship with Farkhad as having been romantic….it didn’t end well….clearly. I’m very much of the opinion that he was the one to kill him as well and Andrey is just taking the credit/blame to protect his brother (not saying I don’t think Andrey is capable of murder it’s just in this specific situation I don’t think he did…)

He seems like he’d crack his joints often he’d probably freak out a person or two by cracking his neck randomly.

He constantly fluxes between avoiding eye contact completely to keeping eye contact too long and being unnerving

He cuts his own hair you look at his fuckass bangs in classic and say that looks like he didn’t do them at 3am while having some sort of episode! You tell me he didn’t!!!

In his teen years he slept on the floor for threeish years straight (this is inspired by something i actually did fun fact.)

Genuinely I do not see Peter post canon living very long no matter the ending you wanna consider canon…I don’t think he’s living afterwards, he’s either going to drink himself to death (which he’s already on the path to) or he takes his own life….theres no middle ground really he’s just a character I can’t see surviving for long post canon (which one day I will discuss that but today? Not the day)

I recall him being implied to have attempted in classic so honestly it’s not entirely inaccurate for me to say post canon he has a successful attempt.

#asks tag #hope these are somewhat decent if they aren’t….I’m sorry….

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unsafecoma · 6 months ago

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YAYAYYA i wanted to do madamemiz's ask game about the DCA because i llike them 🫶 UNDER THE CUT !! ! !! ! !!!

how did you get here?

my hyperfix on the dca started earrrly january this year because i played hw2 and was promptly swept off my feet and ive been sick over them since. id played it before , but started playing again bc i wanted too 100% the game! oh if only id known !!

2. why these characters in particular? what was the hook for you?

originally it was Sun that hooked me onto both of them. hes just so silly!! and such a prissy bitch!! and i love it!! plus i love the idea of 2 separate ids in one body, thats always fun to mess with 😋

3. how long have you been here?

since early january of this year!! though, im not SUPER active in the fandom itself. i just silently enjoy fanart/fics , and VERY RARELY draw and post on my art bog. im not a big participator in fandom itself, im perfectly comfy just watching.

4. have you actually played fnaf sb?

NO. and i do not plan to. the game is too buggy to pay 40 bucks for it, plus i really dont wanna give scott anymore money (fuck you scott cawthon i hate you scott cawthon a million plagues upon you and your life scott cawthon) so ill pass. im perfectly fine with just watching videos.

5. if you make content, what's your favorite piece you've contributed?

THIS POST!! i love vocaloid, and i love the dca, and whats better than combining the two? i was especially proud of myself bc these were animations, which is something i NEEEVERRR to, so id say i was pretty damn happy with these!!

6. what's your favorite sort of art or fic? what genre/flavor/style?

ive still yet to actually read any fics abt the dca (im in the process of reading one about djmm rn <3 its so good i love it so much <333) but im a sucker for angst w/a happy end (the heart wants what the heart wants, and who am i to deny ?)

7. what's your favorite au?

i like aquatic aus for the dca!!!!! i love seeing all the different designs ppl give them ... i also rlly like cowboy/western aus too :)

8. do you have any ocs, or have any ocs you're fond of?

not yet, but ive absolutely thought about it!! maybe one day ... (for now though, im happy with my silly little technician s/i hehe)

9. what do you think of the dca's canon appearance? Scary? Cute? Something else?

I LOVE THEM I THINK THEYRE SO PRETTYYYYYYYYYY i dont really see them as scary from looks alone tbh, like MAYBE moon but it'd have to be rlly dark so it was just his glowing eyes visible. other than that they are just silly billys cutie patooties to me. id pinch their cheeks if i could (i mean i know u can but. ykwim)

10. what keeps you in this fandom despite the very small amount of canon content the dca had?

im kept sane by both my own brain's constant thoughts abt these robots, and also the art and writing made by other fans!! i 🫶 images.

11. be honest: if you had to pick only one, sun or moon?

:( i GUESS sun, if i HAD to choose, only bc Moon's the one with the virus. it feels so wrong to separate them. you wound me.

12. thoughts on eclipse?

I LOVE THEM!!!!!!! i hc that eclipse isnt one whole robot, but its a state of being where sun and moon are both comfortably, equally in control of the body. so like ... in a WAY they could seem blended into one whole ai, but theyre both still in there, and have moments of one overtaking the other, while still as "eclipse".

13. thoughts on pre-glitch sun?

I feel like pre glitch Sun was juuust starting to get a bit overworked and burnt out, like right before the virus (and afterwards, it jsut got worse and worse). i think the DCA are genuinely good at taking care of kids, they just slip up often and arent absolutely perfect at it (unlike how they would be, if they were actually made to be caretakers and not theater animatronics). sometimes Sun is too loud, having to constantly remind himself to lower his voice when around more meek kids in the daycare.

he definitely has his moments where he needs to correct himself and remember that he is taking care of young kids, but all in all, i feel like Sun was pretty good at taking care of the kids (much better than he was when he was first moved to the daycare, since i can imagine he was VERY, VERY BITTER about being moved from the theater, but its not like being a theater animatronic was synonymous with despising children, so he wouldn't HATE them or anything yk ??)

14. thoughts on pre-glitch moon?

YKNOW I WONDER does moons voice sound like that bc of the virus, or is that just his voice ? nonetheless, i feel like Moon was good with his job, and maybe a bit better than Sun, only bc i feel like handling naptime would come with less struggles than daytime activities.

Moon was probably so much more gentle, less hunched over and 'scary-looking' when he moved, and rather than punishing kids for not sleeping he just ... actually helped them sleep. yknow ? whether its holding and rocking some of the younger kids to help them sleep better, or maybe one of the kids has something on their mind that wont let them sleep, i feel like Moon was actually really good at his job.

im firm on believing the DCA is actually good at taking care of kids due to what cassie says about the AR sun/moon plushies!! theyre good at their job!!! to a degree LOLLLL

15. do you interpret sun and moon as two sides of the same person, or truly two separate beings in one body? does it matter?

i interpret them as two separate beings in one body!! i like this interpretation, it feels more fun to work with and is oddly cathartic? emotional? interesting? theres just so much emotion that comes with sharing a body with an entire other identity, knowing that you and them are tightly knit together, whether you want to be or not, because no matter what, you have them, and they have you, and you're stuck with one another. and yes, you and them are different, but you bleed into one another at some parts, at some angles the yellow and blue smudge, and sometimes you struggle to see where 'you' starts, and 'they' begin.

i love love love thinking about how they experience sharing a body with one another, how they maneuver the world and their thoughts. ITS SO FUN!!! THEY MAKE ME SICK.

16. what's something in the fandom you'd like to see more of?

WAITER!!! WAITER!! MORE PRISSY BITCH SUN PLEASE!!! ill literally never ever get enough of it.

17. what's something in the fandom you'd like to see less of?

this is ENTIRELY just me, but seeing the dca act all suave and sexy feels mischaracterizing. this tweet literally captures how i feel perfectly

like OB VI OUS LY have fun and do what ur little heart desires, never ever am i gonna bash someone for DOING THAT, but whenever i see them drawn sexily and with abs or anything like that it just makes me wonder if we have the same character in mind. you dont get them like i do. we are playing with our touys in different corners.

18. anything you're looking forward to?

THE MOON NIGHTLIGHT. i have the sun one already and i NEED the moon one so he isnt alone :( i hope they fix up the coloring on the moon one, bc the dark bit looks so weird and messy (im assuming it only looks like that since it was the first look at him, but still!!! i think they should just make him all white, and not make the NIGHT LIGHT dark in some areas, lol???)

19. do you think you'd actually get along with the dca if you met them irl?

this is one of those rare times where i DO think i would get along with them, or at least Sun!! i feel like id definitely be super duper anxious first meeting them, like the enthusiasm levels are a bit jarring, but i really do feel like i could get along with Sun (and maybe Moon ... if this is pre-virus, then more likely, but if its while Moon has the virus .. .. . . . . .. .. .. .. mauybe.)

20. free space! talk about whatever's on your mind!

if i think about the dca and their room and state of neglect for too long i get sick. i get insane and curl into a little ball like a roly poly. they make me so sick. i hate them i need to bite them.

also genderfunny aroace dca forever and ever. ok? 🫶

#orig. post #IM SO SORRY IF THIS SHOWS UP IN THE TAGS I DONT WANT TO PUT SLASHES IN EVER INSTANCE OF THEIR NAMES ☹️#OP OF THIS ASK GAME THANK U SO MUCH FOR THE QUESTIONS THEY WERE SO FUN TO ANSWER!!!!!#it got my brain thinking :3

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tailoredshirt · 1 year ago

Note

Hello K, I’m your secret Santa for the Tarlos Secret Santa! I’m really happy to be creating for you and hope you’ll like how I interpret your prompts and what I end up creating for them:)

Before I decide on one and to try and create something that you’d enjoy, I have a few questions about each prompt:

Historical AU - how close to canon would you prefer it to be? For example in terms of professions, family or other character-specific traits :) would you prefer any period-typical homophobia to be addressed, or prefer a more light-hearted approach that just centers around their love for each other etc?

Fantasy AU - would you prefer for Carlos and TK to be human themselves, or for them to be non-human fantastical creatures? Are there any type of fantasy, or any specific worlds/takes/descriptions of classic tropes that you do not want me to draw on? Any preferences on where to place the creations on the scale between realistic-magical?

Bottom Carlos being doted on - are there any headcanons that are not really your personal preference, or do you have one yourself that you’d prefer me to stick to when it comes to their general dynamic in terms of top/bottom or Carlos’ feelings about bottoming, his experience level or general preference? Or when it comes to their sexual dynamic and dynamic in general, anything that you want me to steer clear of? Any specific kinks/acts or the like that you generally like in fics and/or headcanons for them specifically or some things that you’d prefer were not included?

For all three - do you have any preferences when it comes to the phase/status of their relationship? Would you like to see them meet and fall in love, be in the new and developing phase of their relationship, or be more established, either as boyfriends, fiancés or husbands?

- when it comes to maybe including hurt/comfort elements, are there anything you’d prefer in terms of limits to the degree of angst, or anything that you won’t like mentioned or included or prefer a certain level of explicitness in terms of physical or mental illness or injury, grief, insecurity, body image, addiction or anything else specific like that that can be triggering for you/is just not something that you’d want included - apart from what you already stated under no-gos and squicks of course!:)

Again, I’m really happy to create for you and I can’t wait to get started yay! And I wish you a good day, and generally a lovely holiday season (or until then, just November, if you’re not the kind who likes to tune in on the holiday vibe ahead of time) until we talk and meet again!

Hugs and more well wishes from your very own Secret Santa:)

OMG hi, and I'm sorry for how bare my signup was! I was literally doing it after the deadline and hoping the mods were asleep akdjsl Thank you for your thoughtfulness with these questions!!! I will try to be as detailed as possible in my answers without (hopefully) caging you in too much. I'm so excited to read what you come up with!

General things I don't like, because I know I forgot things when I signed up: non-canon character death (definitely please don't kill TK or Carlos, but if you do something where another canon character has died off-screen, for instance, that would be okay), terminal illness, non-canon nicknames (occasional 'sweetheart' or whatever is fine!), demonization of any character (i.e. Iris, Owen, Gabriel, etc. although using canon antagonists like Billy or Pearce is fine!), infidelity, TK or Carlos sleeping with anyone else (even while not together - pre-canon references fine of course! But I don’t like to think of it happening during breakup era).

Things I like, feel free to pick and choose: emotional or physical hurt/comfort, fluff, humor, angst with happy ending, rom-com tropes, found family feels, TK & Nancy besties, big brother TK, wearing each other's clothes (in private or public), emotional reunions, imperfect sex (messy, difficulty getting off, too tired, requires prep, etc.). One of them sustaining a disability, and how they deal with that. One partner trying something they're not sure about in bed to please their partner (if it goes wrong/right is up to you). I also just love intimate, emotional sex where they're overwhelmed by their feelings. And hurt/comfort sex!!! Sex due to grief (i.e. after 4x17 or 3x08) or when one is feeling hurt or insecure. Scenes like the soulmate scene in 4x16, where one of them needs reassurance and the other gives it gladly, are my kryptonite.

Sex: praise kink, cockwarming, watersports, breeding, shaving (legs/genitals/any), overstimulation, public sex, and light D/s are my favorites, but I'm fine with most things! Would not like: degradation, punishment, verbal feminization. (I promise I am also okay if you don't include sex!)

Relationship phase: I tend to prefer established for Tarlos, but I love and seek out fic for all phases of their relationship! I'm fine with whatever fits your idea. I'm also fine with second chance/exes to lovers (I love breakup era lol).

Angst level: I am okay with most things as long as there is a happy ending. Violence/assault, kidnapping, mental illness, grief, homophobia, drug use, addiction, insecurities, body image, severe injury/illness and/or permanent disability, torture, self harm, being outed, believing the other is dead - all okay, including explicit/intense. Brief/passive suicidal ideation okay, but no suicide attempts please.

Historical AU: I am fine with period-typical attitudes or an anachronistic/light-hearted approach (or combination) as long as they have a happy ending. I would prefer if any beloved canon characters were not super/permanently homophobic towards TK or Carlos, if that makes sense?? But something similar to the Reyes family's reaction in canon is fine, esp. if you're going the angstier route. I am fine with whatever you decide for other professions, settings, etc.!

Fantasy AU: Once again, I'm good with almost anything here. If you want to set it in canon with fantasy elements (like urban fantasy), or create a whole new setting, any of that is fine! TK and Carlos can be human or fantastical beings, or a mix. I would not like a straight-up Harry Potter AU (like with Hogwarts and such), but anything with similar elements is fine. I admit that I love shifter mating stuff, like soulmates but with extra sex and possessiveness, but you do NOT have to do that. I also love The Old Guard, so any kind of immortality AU would be fun. I know this is so vague; there's such a wide range of fantasy settings/scenarios I would love to read, and 911ls fandom doesn't have much of it. If it would help to give you more specific prompts or answer any other questions please let me know!!!

Bottom Carlos: This is tough to answer because I love any thoughtful approach to their sex life and dynamics, so I don't want to limit you. I'm fine with them having a firm or semi-firm dynamic where one tops 99% of the time, or one where they switch often, or something in between - any of that is fine. Fandom tends to default to Carlos topping all/most of the time, which makes sense given the D/s qualities of their interactions in canon, but I guess I'd just like to see something different, or explored deeper? One thing is that I love seeing TK as a competent, caring lover! I feel like he'd be delighted at the chance to make Carlos feel good, especially if you're writing them as an established couple. I also like the idea of Carlos, who is generally a caretaker who needs to be in control, trusting TK and also letting himself be taken care of. If you're writing early relationship, I do love any communication (or lackthereof!) about sex or kink. If you're writing them later in their relationship, I'd assume some conversations would have already been had, but Carlos is good at avoiding and obfuscating! It doesn't have to be a big deal if you don't want it to be; sometimes sex preferences are just preferences. I generally don't like the 'more masculine' character feeling like it would be unmasculine for him to bottom (mostly because I think that says a lot about how he sees his partner too), but obviously Carlos's relationship with masculinity is complicated, so if you want to explore that that's fine. Or maybe Carlos has no issue with bottoming, just doesn't do it often? Or he's never done it but he's curious? Or he and TK are engaged/married and it's something they've already done?

I just spent two hours on this because I'm an overthinker and overexplainer sl;kdj but if you need any clarification please lmk!!! I appreciate you writing this fic for me. Thank you and I hope you are well! <3

#replies

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destinysbounty · 2 years ago

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I am generally of the opinion that Kai should've been the one to confront the Ice Emperor instead of Lloyd, BUT if they were really committed to the idea of giving that solo arc to Lloyd then they could have made it work in a way that is narratively satisfying and wouldn't drastically change the season's overarching plot.

Allow me to demonstrate with a proposal for an ns11 rewrite:

At one point in the Fire Chapter, Zane confesses the details of his vision, apologizing for not telling them about it as he'd been hoping it was just a bad dream. But because of his wishful thinking, his friends were ill-prepared to face Aspheera. Bonus points if we have Jay apologizing for being so dismissive of Zane's vision and convincing him not to do anything about it.

While explaining the contents of his vision, Zane also tells them about the recurring detail where Aspheera blasts and presumably kills him. In a rare moment of vulnerability, Zane confesses that this part of the vision scares him - he's died once before, and while he doesn't regret his decision, it was still a profoundly unpleasant experience and the thought of dying again frightens him. Lloyd promises to make sure the rest of Zane's vision never comes true, he personally vows to keep Zane safe. Yes, we're drawing parallels between Kai's promise to Lloyd in season 5, and yes it ends up exactly as angsty as it sounds.

Optional: change Zane's fear reflection to him being dead again instead of him as just a machine. Better yet, have his reflection show him as he was in his fight with the Overlord, broken faceplate and all. I do personally like his canon reflection the way it is, since it sets up some good foreshadowing for both the Ice Chapter and Crystalized - but if you really want to hammer the point home that this is an outcome Zane's afraid of, then changing his fear reflection is a great way to do that. Plus, this could even be the moment where Lloyd personally assures Zane that the vision will never come true.

This particular change would achieve three things:

It makes Zane's banishment more angsty AND more narratively satisfying, by making it part of a character arc. Making Zane more outwardly afraid of dying by Aspheera's hand provides us with the opportunity to explore Zane's trauma from his s3 sacrifice a bit more, as well as his relationship with his sixth sense. Plus, it would make his banishment a much more compelling character moment - not only is he sacrificing himself to save Wu, but he's intentionally subjecting himself to an experience that frightens him and has traumatized him in the past. He was scared of the vision coming true, but he himself is the one making it happen. Something something, self-fulfilling prophecies.

It adds emotional consequence. In canon, Zane got blasted, was assumed dead for a few days, and then they realized he was alive and set out to save him without any lasting emotional consequences for the characters. But if they had all promised to keep Zane safe and to make sure his vision never comes true, well. Even when they find out he's alive, that doesn't erase the fact that that they couldn't keep their promise. And now the ninja are all filled with a deep, painful sense that they let him down. When they set out to save Zane, they aren't just rescuing a friend - they're trying to rectify what they believe to be a failure.

It gives Lloyd a much more personal motivation to go out and face the Ice Emperor on his own. Yes, he already has a motivation in canon - he's the leader, he's Zane's friend, of course he wants to save him - but giving Lloyd a deeper, more nuanced investment in Zane's rescue keeps things interesting. His feelings of failure are compounded by the fact that he had personally vowed to keep Zane alive. Maybe we could even dedicate a few scenes throughout the Fire Chapter to establishing the nature of Zane and Lloyd's friendship, just to make things more interesting narratively.

This also adds a layer of complexity to Lloyd's confrontation with the Ice Emperor - now he is burdened with even more guilt, blaming himself for what Zane has become. He considers himself responsible for this; if he'd just kept his promise, thinking if he'd just been strong enough to keep Zane safe, then the Ice Emperor never would have existed. He even blames himself for his inability to help Zane snap out of the corruption.

But then, as a resolution to his guilt complex, while fighting the Ice Emperor he realizes it wasn't actually his fault. It was Zane's decision to fulfill the vision. Zane made that choice, and it's not fair to either of them to take away his agency in that by Lloyd blaming himself. Lloyd isn't responsible for Zane's choices.

Zane's belief that he alone was responsible for protecting his friends pushed him to increasingly self-destructive ends. And Lloyd realizes that he too has been pushing himself to extremes out of a warped sense of responsibility. It wasn't his fault that Aspheera banished Zane, and it's not his fault that the Scroll has corrupted Zane and that Vex has controlled him. He can't force Zane to let go of the Staff, or to remember who he really is, because that's ultimately not his call to make. All he can do is try to help Zane make that decision for himself.

And in the end, that's how Zane snaps out of it. For the first time in 50 years, someone has encouraged him to make his own choices instead of trying to control or manipulate or coerce him. And he remembers a time, long ago, when he was free.

Anyway, like, I still think Kai totally should've gotten the solo arc rather than Lloyd, but if they absolutely had to give that subplot to Lloyd then this is certainly one way it could've gone.

#ninjago #ns11 #ninjago ice chapter #lloyd garmadon #zane julien #zane ninjago #ninjago zane #ice emperor #destiny post

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