#maybe next week since the holidays are wAy too busy

[just-a-creep-babe]

Are you continue “what makes you tick” ? Just curious :]

Hells yeah I am!!!!

Next part is currently in the works uwu

[lcriedlastnight]

Oscar has been planning on proposing to y/n for a couple of months by now, already bought the ring, tried multiple times to propose to her but every time he felt too scared/ anxious to do it. One time Y/n accidentally finds the ring somewhere in their shared apartment

this is so cute! thanks for the request! ilysmmm. mwah!

tw: fem!reader, swears, scaredy cat oscar, lmk if you want me to add anything.

w/c: 2.2k

the sunlight peered through your window, through the see-through blinds you insisted on buying for yours and oscar's shared room. the way the light hits your resting features makes your man sigh out in bliss. every single morning he has the exact same thoughts when he watched you sleep, 'i need to spend the rest of my life with her'.

it had almost been a eight months since he first had that thought. seven since he acted on it and asked your sister to come with him when he was shopping for a ring. a second opinion does not hurt.

the ring had sat in his drawer for a good few weeks, maybe even a month as oscar contemplated how exactly he wanted to go about proposing. this was one area he was completely clueless for. give him literally anything else and he would be able to rhyme off the answer quicker than he could answer for himself. your favourite food? those cookies with the chocolate inside. your favourite film? the lego batman movie. clothes size? you were a small but in most t-shirts you preferred them in a medium so they were a bit baggier on you. how you would like to be proposed to? no clue. oscar knew deep down that it didn't really matter where he proposed, or even how he did it. he was sure you would say yes in if he proposed halfway through taking a shit. it mattered a whole lot to oscar, he wanted it to be a memory you looked back on with fondness and love.

the first time oscar tried to propose, it was a super traditional and basic way. the boy had booked for you to both head on a cute getaway before the season started back up again in february. you had always talked about wanting to go to greece, so he had booked you both in for two weeks in santorini. oscar carried the ring in his pocket the whole holiday even though he had planned out when he wanted to ask you.

the restaurant you had both just eaten in was probably one of the most expensive buildings you had ever been in. you told oscar so. he laughed in response.

"i think the paddock costs much more than than, love." oscars arm was around your waist as you walked alongside him, you were basically leaning on him at this point too. you snort at his words.

"fine, the most expensive looking building i've ever been in." you reword your sentence. oscar laughs. he swears he has never laughed as much as he had in those two weeks with you. oscar had ended guiding you both up to the top of this hill, you barely even noticed, too busy talking his ear off from the glass of wine you had drank with dinner. you were on holiday, why not?

there was a cute little bench that had fairy lights wrapped around it sitting pretty at the top of the hill, over looking the city and the ocean next to it. oscar encourages you to sit. he knew he had made the right choice to propose here when, a few days after arriving you had told oscar that greece was probably your favourite place in the entire world now.

you sit with your head on your boyfriend's shoulder as you watch the tide from far above. oscar fiddles with the ring in his pocket, nerves beginning to eat away at him. you grow quiet as your eyes twinkle in the moonlight. jesus, you looked like something out of his wildest dreams, oscar was sure of it. your voice breaks the comfortable silence between you both.

"i know this holiday isn't finished yet but i really have had the best time with you osc. i appreciate you doing this for me. you do too much for me, i want to pay you back for it all one day." your voice is a whisper because talking at a normal volume just doesn't feel right in the moment.

oscar's nerves get the best of him as you bare your heart to him. here you were being vulnerable with him and he couldn't even build the courage to ask you to marry him. the driver was so unsure of where the nerves were coming from, he was completely sure you would say yes, he knew you loved him yet his hand slipped out his pocket to move towards your thigh to give it a squeeze. a sweet kiss is pressed to your hair before oscar is whispering back his reply.

"me too, sweet girl. wanna stay here with you, forever." a part of his brain tells him that if he just proposed like he was supposed to then you would be able to do this with him forever and it would be promised. he shakes the thoughts from his head as he tells himself that now wasn't the right time awayways.

you had come back from that holiday, still his girlfriend and your finger still void of a ring.

the second time almost caused him to have a panic attack. this time it was less traditional and more relaxed. it had been almost two months since your trip to greece and the sight of your ring finger being bare sent oscar into a spiral every time he caught a glimpse of where that diamond should be.

you finally had him to yourself after a gruelling triple header. those races had actually given oscar some of the best results of the season so far, but it had taken it's toll on your relationship as you had barely spoken to your emotional support boy. the time zones messing you up, plus the fact that you had way too much school work to finish causing you to be forced (by oscar, himself. it pained him to do it but he knew how important this degree was to you and he was not going to let you throw it away just because you missed him and wanted to watch him drive in circles for an hour and a half for three sundays straight) to stay at home.

oscar was sure you would be waiting for him on the couch in your shared living room, it's your routine at this point. when oscar gets back home, it is the late evening. maybe around dinner time. he hopes you haven't waited on him to eat.

as the australian boy unlocked the door, he looked around the apartment. three weeks without his home comforts (you) had taken its toll on him. it is sort of dark in the hallway leading to the living room, the door to the room laying wide open. oscar can see the back of the couch and the blaring light of the tv. it was bright.

the ring had stayed at the back of his bottom drawer in his bedside table. it was right next to you, right where you slept without him for twenty-one nights without him. oscar was desperate to get his hands on you.

as soon as the threshold was crossed and oscar was in the living room with you, your perfume hit him like a brick wall. the brown eyed boy almost started crying at the smell, he had just missed you that much.

your laying on the couch, asleep. this actually surprised oscar. you were never usually asleep, you were so good at controlling when and where you fell asleep, waking up however... that was a different story altogether.

oscar takes your legs and lifts them up softly to slide in underneath them. he was not going to lay down next to you because he knew for a fact as soon as he fell asleep there would be no waking him up until at least midday tomorrow. you were like that everyday.

oscar admires you for a bit before the urge to propose to you comes creeping back. the desperation of being yours for the rest of his life, reared its ugly head as his eyes follow the swoop of your lashes against your cheeks. he thinks about shaking you awake to do it.

the boy is too deep in thought to realise you've woken up. it's like you can tell when he is in mental distress and you come to save him from himself.

"you're home." you mumble into the air. it is left hanging, not responded to as you sleepily blink yourself awake to finally get a good look at him. he's lovely to look at. as lovely as ever.

"you okay?" you ask him after period of silence that is too loud to bring any comfort.

oscar doubts he is any good for you, so for the second time he chickens out and doesn't propose, although it does send his tired and self conscious mind into a spiral that almost brings on a panic attack. he's quick to assure you he's alright, "just tired after all that flying." is his excuse. you believe him and do not have to try very hard to coax him into bed.

once you both had done your night routines next to each other for the first time in three weeks and oscar was laying practically on top of you, he thought about the ring again. just sitting in his bedside table when it should be on your finger as you brag to everyone you see in the shops that you were getting married to the love of your life. it will happen and oscar will see it, he just has to build the courage, next time for sure.

that had been four months ago. the boy didn't even try to think about attempting to propose to you, it all bearing too heavy still. the longer he took the more he talked himself into the idea of you not wanting to marry him.

so when you find the ring on a tuesday lunch time, it is safe to say oscar is shitting himself. oscar had been laying on his side with his head on your lap on the couch watching some documentary on whether or not the remains some archaeologist had found was really an alien or not. you were listening in as you scrolled through your phone, carding your fingers through his hair. it had popped into the brunette's mind that he had forgotten to order his sisters birthday present, it was sitting in the basket, ready to checkout but you had distracted him by asking him what he would do if you chucked your glass of water in his face. so he asked you to log into his account and get it for him.

"it's asking for your card details, osc. where is it?" you ask, reading out what the phone in your hand was saying. oscar groans at the thought of you leaving him for even a second physically hurting him. "bottom drawer of my bedside, love." oscar mumbles, concentration falling back onto the tv. unknowing he had just told you the location to the item that had been plaguing his mind for the past eight months. the realisation doesn't kick in when he hears your gasp, or when he is rushing through to your room to check in and make sure you are okay. it only hits when he sees you sitting on the floor in front of the piece of furniture, turning around to face him with tears in your eyes and a ring in your hand.

"is this what i think it is?" you ask him, voice shaking. oscar really is dumb because he cannot work out his you are crying with happiness or out of sadness. although he is quick to sit beside you, hands reaching for the ring but you pull it back out of his grasp, waiting for the answer.

"yeah," oscar sighs. "i've tried to propose to you twice now but every time i get too scared and don't. i've been trying to for eight months". oscar gets even more worried than he originally was when he sees your frown. there was no way he had just fucked this up with you.

"i could've been engaged to you for eight months?" you ask, you seem genuinely disappointed by this fact and that is what snapped everything into place in his brain. you wanted to be engaged to him. oscar jumps forward to wrap you into a bone crushing hug that makes your heart skip beats.

"i will marry you oscar." you tell him.

"i'm so sorry i chickened out, i don't know what was wrong with me. i could've been almost married to the most perfect girl in the world. my most perfect girl." oscar murmurs his apology into your hair but you had already forgiven him. way back before he had even apologised.

the light still beams into the room, oscar thinks about buying black-out curtains until he sees the way the morning light hits your eyes just after you have just opened them. although they close again much too quickly for oscars liking.

it is like you can feel oscar's stare because you grab his arm, pulling him closer to you.

"love you osc." you mumble into the pillow. eyes drooping again as your face relaxes. oscar presses a kiss to the side of your head as he whispers "love you even more, pretty.".

[pastryfication]

the one i’ve been missing

pairing: ollie bearman x reader

part two of my advent celebration

the name ollie bearman had in the last year become a household name. from the moment he crossed the finish line in saudi arabia, he went from an almost unknown 18 year old, to everyone even remotely interested in formula 1 knowing his name.

it was a huge change in his life, a very overwhelming change, and even more so because you weren’t there most of the time.

schoolwork had consumed you more than ever and his new role with ferrari had consumed him, leaving you with almost no time together, and it had led to a long distance experience you wouldn’t recommend anyone.

last year, he had been able to come home and spend time with you in every break between the races, so you only had to go without him for 14 weekends throughout the year. his schedule this year, however, had been very different.

it was december 7th, just over two weeks until christmas, and the world outside your dorm room was buzzing with holiday cheer. you, however, sat at your desk, hunched over an essay you had no motivation to finish. snow dusted the ground outside, and fairy lights glimmered in every window. students walked by in pairs, laughing and carrying steaming cups of hot chocolate, but none of it lifted your spirits.

you picked up your phone and stared at the last message from Ollie, sent late last night:

ollie: long day. miss you.

you’d replied with a simple, i miss you too, but the conversation had fizzled after that, as it often did. he was busy, exhausted from back-to-back commitments with haas and ferrari, and you understood that. but understanding didn’t make it any easier.

your phone buzzed, pulling you from your thoughts.

ollie: you free right now?

you frowned. it wasn’t like him to text in the middle of the day—his schedule rarely allowed for it.

yeah, what’s up?

his reply came almost immediately. can you come downstairs?

you blinked, your heart skipping a beat. why?

the next reply was even faster. just come. please.

confused, you stood up, grabbed your coat, and slipped into your boots. your dorm wasn’t particularly big, and it only took a minute to reach the front entrance. when you pushed open the door, the cold december air hit you like a wave.

and then you saw him.

ollie stood near the steps, his signature grin lighting up his face despite the red flush on his cheeks from the cold. he was bundled in a thick jacket, his ferrari-issued duffel bag slung over his shoulder, and his hair was a mess of curls barely tamed by his beanie.

“surprise,” he said, holding his arms out.

you froze, staring at him in disbelief. “what are you doing here?”

“coming to see you,” he said simply, his smile widening. “i realized it’s been months since we spent more than a couple of hours together, and i couldn’t wait any longer. so, i convinced the team to give me time off a bit earlier than usual.”

“you flew here? just for me?” you asked, your voice shaking slightly.

“of course i did,” he said, taking a step closer. “you’re worth it.”

that was all it took for you to close the gap between you. you threw your arms around him, holding him as tightly as you could. he dropped his bag and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you in until there was no space between you.

“you’re insane,” you murmured against his shoulder, your voice thick with emotion.

“maybe,” he replied with a soft laugh before his expression turned more serious. “i know i’ve been gone for way too long . . . i’m so so sorry i haven’t been around. but you’ve been on my mind constantly. i’ve missed you. so much.”

you pulled back to look at him, your hands cupping his face. his cheeks were cold under your palms, but his eyes were warm, full of affection that made your chest ache.

“i missed you too,” you said quietly.

he smiled, leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead. “good. now, what’s the plan? christmas market? hot chocolate? anything you want—i’m all yours.”

you couldn’t help but laugh, the weight on your chest lifting for the first time in weeks. “anything?”

“anything.” he promised.

✦ ✦ ✦

back in your dorm, the small space was suddenly filled with the warmth of his presence. ollie helped unpack the tiny box of decorations you’d picked up at the dollar store, carefully untangling the string of fairy lights and teasing you about the chipped ornaments.

“you weren’t kidding when you said this was low-budget,” he quipped, holding up a snowman missing one eye.

you threw a piece of tinsel at him. “not all of us have formula 1 money, you know.”

he laughed, reaching to hook the snowman onto the tree anyway. “i like it. it’s cute. it’s very . . . you.”

“are you calling me low-budget?”

“not at all,” he said, quick to defend himself with a grin, leaning against the tree to watch you hang the last of the baubles. “i’m saying it’s perfect, just like you.”

your cheeks warmed as you stepped back to admire the tree. it wasn’t much—barely three feet tall and slightly lopsided—but with ollie standing beside it, his arm slung casually around your shoulder, it felt magical.

“wait,” he said suddenly, digging into the box. “what’s this?”

you turned to see him holding a tiny sprig of mistletoe wrapped in a thick red ribbon, his grin widening mischievously.

“that,” you said, crossing your arms, “was supposed to go on the wall.”

“well,” he said, holding it above his head, “i think it works just fine right here.”

you rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t fight the smile tugging at your lips as he stepped closer, his free hand resting on your waist.

“it’s tradition,” he said softly, tilting his head.

“you’re impossible,” you murmured, but you leaned in anyway, your smile melting into his as his lips brushed yours.

the kiss was soft, warm, and lingering, and for a moment, the whole world seemed to fade away.

when you finally pulled back, ollie rested his forehead against yours, still holding the mistletoe above you.

“merry early christmas,” he whispered.

you smiled, your hands resting on his chest. “merry early christmas, ollie.”

[gatorbites-imagines]

Kinktober day 3

Michael Myers + Drugged and/or captured.

This is a spiritual sequel to the bondage/shibari Michael Myers prompt from last year’s Kinktober. This is a shorter one, cuz ya boy is busy with his studies 🤓

Pretty sure this counts as dub-con, so like, watch out for that ig.

Kinktober 2023 masterlist.

A year had passed since your last run in with Michael Myers, one year since you had panicked and tied him up and left him on the floor of your living room. And one year since he escaped the very moment you looked away. You had been on edge all year because of it, as Michael had never been found or caught, his killing spree even seemed to come to an end for the time being after he had left your home. This didn’t stop the entire population of Haddonfield from worrying as the next Halloween night approached.

Most who could afford it left the town for the week leading up to Halloween and afterwards, but you, like many, could in no way afford a two-week holiday. Your run in with Michael wasn’t a secret though, so the day before Halloween your manager had sent you home early and told you to return a few days after the holiday. It felt like they were signing your death warrant, but it also made sense to keep the murder count down if Michael was gonna come for you again this year.

Ever since the past Halloween it had been impossible for you to sleep, to the point where you had been prescribed sleeping medication. You didn’t want to take it the days leading up to Halloween, terrified that you wouldn’t be able to wake up in case Michael showed up again, but as you sat on your couch already feeling like a corpse you were regretting that decision.

There hadn’t been a single report of murder this year though, so at some point in your sleep deprived delusions you’d convinced yourself all was safe, popped your meds, and fallen asleep in your bed still completely dressed. But maybe you should have listened to your paranoia more, as not long after you had gone to sleep a familiar slow-moving shadow snuck through your house, heavy footsteps approaching your bedroom where you laid splayed out like a starfish, a pool of drool already forming on your pillow.

Michael could only give a small head tilt as he saw your unconscious body, unsure of what to do. Part of him had hoped for a repeat of the last year, as the feeling of your ropes holding him in place had never left his mind, awakening a different kind of hunger than his usual hunger for blood. Even as Michael crawled up onto the bed, his bulk causing your bedframe to creak in complaint, you barely twitched.

Michael panted under his mask as his hands shook, feeling an unfamiliar churning in his abdomen as he dug through your drawers, pushing aside knickknacks and different toys you kept laying around, pulling out a colourful rope similar to the one you had used to tie him up with last year. His work was nowhere as skilled as your own, but it worked in securing your arms above your head, leaving them out of his way as his wild strength tore your clothes to ribbons.

You vision swam as you woke up, your body felt too heavy and sluggish like it always did when you woke up with your meds still in your system. Normally youd only wake if you really needed to go to the bathroom, something you were pretty sure you did in your sleep most days, but this time it was different. Something heavy was bearing down on you, and as you tried to move you found your arms strung up above your head. But most noticeably was the wet heat around your length, tight and insistent. Even in your sleep addled mind you could sense the strong thighs boxing in your hips as the persons rough hands groped at your torso.

The half coherent part of your mind was sure this was all a dream, even as your vision cleared for the most part, though it was still blurry around the edges. Because how else would any of this make sense. Why would Michael Myers of all people be riding you like his life depended on it, knocking the air right out of your chest as his bulky form weighed down on you. It wasn’t the weirdest wet dream you’d ever had, and you were pretty sure you had overheard somewhere that fear could lead to lust.

He wasn’t moaning, which saddened you somehow, even as he panted and gave small grunts when you would rub against his prostate. Had this all been real, you would have grabbed his hips to show him how to hit that spot every time, but it seemed in your dream your arms were tied, and the sluggish nature of your body made it hard to even roll your hips up into his.

It was only when his hands wrapped around your throat and you could feel yourself become lightheaded that it hit you that this might be real, as your hips started to ache from the speed of his riding and your vision started to swim from lack of oxygen and not just the meds in your system. The orgasm rolled through your entire body, starting from the top of your head, and running all the way down to your curling toes as you groaned sluggishly. You were sure drool was running down your chin at this point.

You would first realize the next morning that Michael came just as hard as you did, as he didn’t seem to have cared to clean you up afterwards. He had been polite enough to release your arms though. Your hips were killing you all day, who’d have thought having a guy Michael size ride you like a wild horse would mess up your back so much. It was only as you sat eating breakfast that it hit you that it had all really happened, and you needed to sit with your face in your hands for a bit, trying to fight off the heat it created in your abdomen, trying to ignore the small hope that hed return again tonight.

[jsbluu]

left on seen | chapter 28: mistletoe by justin bieber

➨ chapter 27: party time pt.2 | left on seen masterlist | next

➨ chapter 28 omg MERRY CHRISTMASSSS BABIESS and happy holidays to those who don’t celebrate christmas 😘 hope you guys like this chapter LOL.. 2114 words isn’t that crazy

TAGLIST: @yizhrt @bococostree @sunghoonsgfreal @dinonuguaegi @ddolbyong @4chensungs @vixensss @jirsungs @luffysprincess @nosungluv @akunoeyebrows @sinsgaybutthatsokay @joyzluvr @n0hyuck @mrsbyun-baek @queenrachelpink @botchedbrat @livingdoll-hara @minkyuncutie @gomdoleemyson @17ericas @cookydream @bitchzitschimi @luciavrseblog-com @minhosprettywife @hyukkstar @kyanmeai @shadysnoopy

the uber ride to sunghoon’s party was filled with light chatter (aka gaon yelling and disrupting the poor driver), but your mind was a million miles away. despite being with your friends, you couldn’t stop thinking about jisung. it had only been a few days since you spoke, but those days had made you spiral into a storm of overthinking. had you gone too far asking him to hangout at your apartment? its not like it was a date, especially after he invited mark along. maybe he sensed your intentions and invited mark to let you know he didn’t see you that way. the thought makes your stomach twist, but you try to shake it off as the party approaches.

“are you excited?” liz asks, pulling you away from your thoughts.

“yeah, i think” you reply, trying to sound enthusiastic, but there’s a slight hesitation in your voice. the idea of talking to jisung again had you on edge.

gaon’s beside you, clearly distracted by his own thoughts. you knew he’d been waiting for an excuse to see sunghoon, and this would be the perfect chance to do so. you smile at him, trying to distract yourself from your own anxiety.

“are you planning on talking to sunghoon tonight” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

he blushes a little, glancing out the window shyly like he wasn’t just talking about making out with him 10 minutes ago. “maybe. hes been kinda busy so i haven’t been able to see him recently. but who knows?”

you giggle, nudging him gently with your elbow, “good luck.”

meanwhile, ningning was busy with her phone, the bright light of the screen lighting up her entire face as she smiles. “i still can’t believe chenle asked me to go”

“you guys have been talking for weeks, i’m surprised it took him this long to make a move. i should’ve done it before him…” liz replies, eyeing ningning up and down. you raise your eyebrow at her, holding back laughter to keep the moment going.

“right..” she replies with, looking at liz with an unreadable expression. you giggle and shake your head, looking out the window at the passing christmas lights. its silly, really. you’ve never stayed on campus for christmas before, you always wanted to be with your family and do all the cheesy holiday traditions like usual, but not this year. something about it keeps you here.

as the car pulls up to the house, you notice the sound of music growing louder. the party is in full swing already, and a wave of excitement and dread wash over you at the same time.

“we’re here!” gaon exclaims, practically jumping out of the car.

ningning grabs her bag, throwing you a quick glance. “you okay? you seem kind of distracted.”

you give her a small smile, nodding, “im fine. just.. thinking.”

“about jisung?” gaon teases, catching on instantly, but you quickly shake your head, trying to dismiss it.

“no no, just.. you know, the party. a lot of people are here.”

he raises an eyebrow, patting you on the shoulder. “well i’m sure you’ll be fine. just try to relax and have fun, okay?”

you nod and shoot him a small smile, though it doesn’t feel as easy as it seems.

as soon as you head inside, you scan the area for any sign on jisung. you don’t see him immediately, but you can’t help like you’re waiting for something. as you make your way further into the apartment, you spot chenle and ningning already talking by the dinner table. he’s smiling at her in a way that makes your stomach do a weird flip, but you look away before they notice you staring.

“lets grab drinks first” liz suggests, grabbing your arm and heading towards the counter.

you enter the kitchen, making your way around all of the people standing in the way. gaon follows behind you, admiring the counters covered in various bottles, cans, and half empty solo cups. its noisy, people chatting and laughing around you, but it feels kind of nice. liz immediately grabs a can of soda and hands it to you.

“you’re overthinking again” she teases, nudging your shoulder. “seriously, stop worrying. he’ll either be here or he wont. either way we’ll have fun!”

you glance at her, grateful for her blunt but comforting words. “im trying, its just.. you know, everything is weird right now.”

she shrugs, popping the tab on her drink. “if he’s acting like that, that’s his problem, just have fun, and who knows, maybe you’ll find his replacement” he jokes, smirking at you.

you roll your eyes, a smile escaping your lips despite trying to hide it. “maybe i will” you say, trying to sound confident.

“exactly!” she laughs. “come on, lets go find gaon.”

you’re eventually dragged into a corner of the living room next to the christmas tree, a small break from the chaos of the party. you stand next to gaon, looking somewhat relaxed, he’s a lot quieter than usual. but that’s not surprising since sunghoon is here, and even though this is his party, you haven’t seen him yet.

you let your gaze wander around the room as your sip your drink, trying to let yourself calm down from the anxiety that had been building up for a while. just as you start to settle, something makes you pause.

jisung.

he’s standing near the punch table with mark and leehan, laughing about something. his hair is a little messier than usual, and he’s wearing a sparkly grey sweater, much different than what he usually wears. your heart skips a beat as you watch him. he’s standing there, looking so effortlessly attractive, and you find yourself staring for way too long. you quickly look away, feeling the heat creep up your neck as you avoid eye contact with your friends.

“i.. need some fresh air.” you announce, walking away before anybody could reply. you find yourself walking towards the balcony, and silently thank god that nobody is on there.

jisung watches as you exit the living room, closing the sliding door behind you. leehan follows his gaze and smirks to himself before speaking. “you gonna talk to her?” he asks, his voice low but teasing.

“huh?” he asks, tearing his eyes away from you. his heart speeds up and it’s clear through the tremble in his voice that he’s on the verge of panicking.

mark raises an eyebrow, his tone still teasing, “you’ve been watching her for like 5 minutes straight dude. she’s going outside.. seems like the perfect opportunity.”

his throat feels dry, and his thoughts start to race. he wasn’t exactly planning on talking to you tonight, but he can’t keep pretending like you don’t exist anymore.

“i—uh, no” jisung mutters, his fingers running through his hair showing how stressed he is, “i don’t know, i don’t even know what to say.”

leehan grins, clearly amused by the way jisung is borderline freaking out, “just say you’re afraid to talk to her.”

“i’m not afraid,” jisung responds quickly and sternly, though the slight edge of uncertainty in his voice betrays him. the weight of his words settle over him, and his instincts are telling him to go chase after you and just say something, anything. but he stays still in his place, still letting his thoughts consume him.

“whatever man, just don’t blame us when someone else talks to her.” mark shakes his head, clearly unconvinced by jisung’s words.

he swallows hard at the idea, a pit forming in his stomach at the thought of somebody showing interest in you. he hasn’t even come to terms with his feelings for you yet, so why does this bother him so much? it’s all too confusing for him and all he wants to do is hide in a hole and disappear forever. but he can’t. because he cares about you too much.

he knows you’re not gonna wait around forever for him to accept his feelings, you deserve better than that. but he can’t let anybody else do it before he can.

after a boost of confidence, his feet move before his mind can catch up, and before he even realizes it, he’s walking towards the balcony. each step feels heavier than the last, his palms starting to sweat as he approaches the door.

you’re standing against the railing, the cool december air hitting your face as you admire the christmas lights that are across campus. the way you stand, so quiet and alone, makes all the confidence jisung built up almost completely disappear. you looked so pretty, the lights shining against your face lit up all your features he liked so much, it almost made him forget how to speak.

“hey” he speaks up, his voice thick with uncertainty.

you turn around, immediately recognizing his voice behind you. your eyes widen when you see him, you never thought he’d be the first to reach out after so long. you stand and stare at him for a bit too long before replying. “hi..”

you raise an eyebrow in confusion, and he finally finds his words. “i just wanted to talk to you. to apologize, i should say. i’ve been kind of avoiding you, and i didn’t mean to make things weird.”

a small pause, and your gaze softens. “its okay, jisung. i didn’t really know what was going on either.”

he feels a small pang of guilt when he realizes the weight of his actions. he left you completely in the dark, and he can’t imagine the way you had been feeling the past few days. if he had been all over the place, he had no idea what it could’ve been like for you.

you meet his eyes, and for a second, neither of you say anything. there’s a strange tension in the air, like an invisible force pulling you two closer, but neither of you act on it, you’re just standing in front of each other awkwardly.

“yeah,” he murmurs, his voice quieter now. “i didn’t mean to ignore you. i guess i’ve been overthinking it.”

you smile at him softly, though it’s a little unsure, like you’re trying to figure it out together. “leehan says we have that in common.”

the comment catches him off guard, and for a moment, he just stares at you before letting out a small laugh. it felt awkward at first, but when you laugh too, the pressure subsides.

his eyes flicker away from you, looking upwards when he notices it. a small piece of mistletoe conveniently hung above you two. he freezes for a second, his breath catching in his throat.

you notice his pause and follow his gaze, looking up at whatever caught his attention “what is it?”

he hesitates, his lips twitching likes he’s fighting a smile. “..there’s mistletoe.” he says, pointing upwards with his finger.

you glance up, spotting the small plant above you two. your cheeks warm despite the chill, and when your eyes meet his again, there’s a flicker of something unspoken between you two.

he scratches the back of his neck, his confidence wavering for a moment. he takes a breath and steps closer to you. “maybe..” his voice lowers, quieter now, “maybe this will prove it.”

your breath hitches as his hand comes up to your shoulder, his warm hands sending sparks through your body.

“i-“ you start to say something, but the words get caught in your throat when he leans in.

the kiss is slow at first, his lips were soft and tentative, like he was trying to figure you out. its awkward, you shift slightly, making your noses bump, but when you pull back in a nervous giggle, he doesn’t seem bothered.

“sorry..” he mumbles, his face flushed. “that wasn’t..”

you shake your head quickly, a smile breaking through your nerves. “its okay, it wasn’t bad”

he tilts his head, his hands cupping your flushed cheeks. he softly rubs the skin under this thumb, smiling at you before speaking. “can i try that again?”

you nod and he leans in again with more confidence this time. the kiss is deeper, and more certain than the last. he knew you wanted, needed this as much as he did, and this was the only way to show it. his hands stay cradling your face, your hands wrapping around his torso gently and gripping the material of his sweater as a way of grounding yourself.

jisung’s thoughts are a blur, and yours are no better. but one thing is: neither of you want this moment to end. the way you respond to his kiss, leaning in like you trust him completely. the way he gently holds your face, like if he holds on any tighter you’ll break. everything about it feels right.

when he finally pulls back, his forehead rests against yours, and he closes his eye for a moment. “that was..” he trails off, letting out a breathless laugh. “better?”

you nod, your voice barely a whisper, “better.”

for a moment, you two stay there, admiring each other’s faces like you’re the only two people in the world. inside, the party continues like before, but you’re way too occupied to care about that right now.

© jsbluu | please do not copy, reupload, or translate my work.

[steddieas-shegoes]

still believe

for @steddieholidaydrabbles prompt 'santa'

all of my holiday drabbles will be from the bear hugs universe. many of them could probably be read standalone, but will make the most sense and be enjoyed best if you read that first!

rated g | 985 words | no cw | tags: established relationship, mall santa, fluff

🎅🏻🎅🏻🎅🏻🎅🏻🎅🏻🎅🏻🎅🏻🎅🏻🎅🏻🎅🏻🎅🏻🎅🏻🎅🏻

The line is wrapped around the building, which is exactly what Steve warned him about.

Steve insisted they go the first week that Santa was at the mall, but Eddie insisted they wait. It didn’t feel right to see Santa before December even started.

Then they got so busy with hockey practices and the baby and-

“How much longer?” Rory asks. She isn’t quite groaning yet, but Eddie knows she doesn’t have much more patience.

Steve is bouncing Sawyer in his arms, raising his brows at Eddie. The I told you so doesn’t need to be said out loud for him to know that’s what he’s thinking.

He tried to time it perfectly between Steve getting off of work, Sawyer’s next feeding time, and their own dinner time, but now…

They’re looking at a catastrophic failure on his part.

Sawyer’s only four months old, and he’s on a very strict schedule. He’s a perfect baby, sleeps almost entirely through the night, only cries when he needs to be changed, and loves when Rory holds him. But if he doesn’t eat on time? Everyone suffers.

They have at least an hour in this line still and they have roughly 20 minutes before Sawyer’s due for a bottle. They have them in the diaper bag, of course, enough formula already measured out for two bottles and a bottle of water just in case.

“Can’t we go to another Santa?” She asks when no one answers her.

“What do you mean? This is the only Santa.” Steve stops bouncing as he speaks, and Eddie feels sweaty all of a sudden. They both thought Rory still believed in Santa. Sure, she was a little old for it, but last year she’d gotten into a fight with a kid at school because she still believed.

“Dad.” Rory gives him one of her be serious looks. “Every mall has one. The real Santa has to stay in the North Pole.”

Steve’s shoulders relax, but Eddie feels another moment of panic. Rory does still believe in Santa. It’s fine, it’s actually great. But a small part of him hoped that maybe she’d just casually stopped believing. Maybe then it would be easier for Steve to accept that their little girl isn’t so little anymore.

“Right,” Steve smiles at her. “But we’re already in line here, so we should just stay.”

Rory sighs, but doesn’t argue.

Sawyer coos in Steve’s arms. Steve smiles down at him and bounces him again.

“You can’t wait to meet Santa, huh buddy?” Steve asks him.

Sawyer’s way too young to understand what he’s asking, but he still gives a gummy smile. He’s got Chrissy’s nose, but it’s a perfect combination with Eddie’s everything else. They all joked that Eddie might as well have carried and birthed him for how much he looks like him already.

“Does Santa already know that Sawyer’s been good?” Rory asks.

“Babies are always on the nice list until they can walk and talk. Then, they have to behave just like all the bigger kids,” Steve explains. “Santa already knows Sawyer’s good.”

“But what if Sawyer was bad?”

“Well, do you think he’s been bad?” Eddie asks, taking Sawyer from Steve to give him a break.

“He did puke on my shirt last week,” Rory’s face twists with disgust. “And he pooped through his diaper that one time and it got on the car seat.”

Eddie’s doing his best not to laugh. “Those are accidents, though. It doesn’t make him a bad kid.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Rory sighs. She looks around the people in front of them as they take a few steps forward. “Maybe we can skip Santa this year? Since he knows we’ve both been good.”

Steve shakes his head. “We wanted to get a family picture, remember?”

“But it’s not even the real Santa!” Rory exclaims, loud enough that the people in front of them turn and scowl at them. Steve sends them an apologetic look and kneels down so he can get on Rory’s level.

“Listen green bean, you remember when you were really little and thought this was the real Santa?” She nods. “A lot of these kids still think that and we can’t ruin it for them. Plus, they’re handing out candy canes, look!”

One of the employees dressed as an elf is walking down the line offering candy canes. A perfect distraction for kids growing impatient in line.

Sawyer gurgles and then lets out a tiny whine. Eddie checks the time on the phone and gives Steve a look.

Steve wordlessly opens the diaper bag to get the bottle ready and Rory rocks on her feet as she waits for the elf to bring her a candy cane. Eddie pokes at Sawyer’s cheek, and his tummy, and his arm, making him let out little bursts of noises that are nearly giggles.

“Not too much longer,” Eddie whispers to the baby in his arms, hopeful that he’s right.

****

Nearly an hour later, they have Sawyer propped in Santa’s lap and Rory standing next to him, talking a mile a minute about her list. They manage to get a great picture– a small miracle considering Sawyer was due for a nap– and head out, not wanting to hold up the line more than it already has been.

As they leave, Rory tugs on Eddie’s jacket and comes to a stop. Steve is too busy babbling at Sawyer to notice.

“Daddy, I lied,” she says and Eddie’s gut clenches. “I know Santa isn’t real. But dad loves Christmas and it would hurt his feelings. And now Sawyer can believe in Santa so I have to pretend.”

Eddie loves this girl. She has always been wise beyond her years, which is why her believing in Santa at this age seemed ludicrous to him.

He hugs her tight and kisses the top of her head. “You’re a good kid, little one.”

[elfarons]

You're My Religion

cw: nsfw mentions but nothing explicit, religious themes, power dynamic, (tell me if i missed any O_O)

priest!Ren who has devoted his entire life to the town's temple since birth, committed to preaching the holy gospel

he noticed how his faith started wavering, jaded after being in this lifestyle for so long, missing something...

passion.

when was the last time they felt strongly about.. anything?

this will surely past, he tells himself as he pushes through, seeing the churchgoers smile after their prayers make them feel closer to heaven, but he's never felt farther.

ren prepares for what could potentially be his last sermon, telling everyone to bow their heads in silent prayer.

he will determine whether or not he'll give up this lifestyle after this last day-

when you walk in for the first time.

as soon as you see each other, it feels like time stopped. it feels like heaven's gates opening, it feels like their heart beats for the first time in years.

it was like you were the only two people on earth as you held each others gaze.

he couldn't believe god had sent down an angel.

you smiled and broke the stare, sitting down a couple rows behind the next person.

the priest of the town's church, who is used to having eyes on him, feels hyperaware of your stare. after he finished preaching, ren beelines straight towards you, introducing themself and inviting you to one-on-one appointments to acquaint yourself with the religion.

you came to the first meeting. then the next, and the next, eventually becoming a near daily routine. after a couple weeks, the appointments started to feel more like hanging out with a best friend, conversations evolving from church topics to the more personal details.

your life recently fell apart out of nowhere. you lost your job, you're backed up on bills, then your friends have all left you. he would never leave you. every time, ren would reassure you this is a test of faith and comfort you with warm hugs that smelled of clean linen and myrrh.

his hugs always made your heartbeat faster. you hoped he never noticed.

he proposed you move into the church as a temporary solution. of course, you accepted. what choice did u have?

although he insisted it was fine, you wanted to pay him back somehow, so you started helping out around the temple.

ren was absolutely ecstatic. everyday you would see each other, if only for just a quick smile from across the room. you'd have to leave soon after, but ren would pinch his wrist and hold his pendant, cursing himself for wanting you so bad.

you were eager to help out everyday. the holy water was running out? you would assist ren in making holy water. the garden looked a little too sad? you'd tend to the plants, maybe surprise ren with a lotus from a nearby pond. the living quarters needed cleaning? ren told you to clean his room last because the others must be tired and he'd stay up late anyways.

you noticed ren had little to no decorations around his room. that's odd, considering he's lived here basically his entire life, but you didn't push the matter.

as the holidays neared the church was busy with preparations, with ren being the busiest. god he missed you. the way you'd always smile at him, show genuine interest in what he had to say, look longingly at his lips...

after entering his room, he laid down, exhausted. his bedsheets smelled so nicely of you. how did they smell of you so perfectly? whatever he's not complaining. mind wandering, he barely registered his hand trailing down into his pants, thinking about their perfect angel.

he could almost imagine that you stayed behind and you were the one touching him. or maybe he would tell you to sit back and let him worship you instead, letting his lips and hands perform a prayer so full of devotion even god would be jealous.

in the following days, they couldn't even bother to feel ashamed, even when it looked like the statues on the walls stared into his soul. their only regret was that they couldn't work up the courage to confess everything they felt to you... until tonight.

when you both finally had a chance to talk it felt like home again. you both talked well into the night about anything and everything. from how you wanted to restore the garden, to how stressed ren was about all this pressure on him and how he just needed someone, anyone.

he's done so much for you, you can practically feel your heart shatter when tears start streaming down his cheeks. he doesn't deserve this.

he shakes when you hug him, not just because he's genuinely about to break down in his angel's arms, but he's also so terribly happy.

he's got you now.

...

...

but you were never completely innocent were you?

you knew what you were doing the first day you walked in. the rumors said the priest was good-looking, so naturally you styled yourself to perfection.

the rumors weren't even close because holy shit. tall stature, flawless pale skin, broad shoulders, dark hair in a loose, low ponytail resting on their shoulder.

angels are real, and one is looking right at you.

the meetings excited you as much as they did him, feeling a guilty pleasure at how he would sometimes ignore his duties to stay with you a little longer. but eventually you would always leave for your job, hoping he'd miss you like you missed him.

you let them into your life. you knew that fire at your job was to get you laid off and spend more time with them. you knew your friends left you because you saw a figure in all black leave threatening notes on their doorsteps. you knew all the small things you purposefully forgot went somewhere for his own safekeeping.

and every time, you ran back into his arms. but what about everything he's done? why is the man who ruined your life the one you run to for comfort? aren't you scared?

ren was your guardian angel! they had always said your friends and job were toxic anyways and they'd end up hurting you in the long run, but rest assured ren would never hurt you.

after moving into the temple, you saw him everyday and it made you want him even more. even while being worked to the bone, the fleeting glances you shared across the room was enough for you to stop and collect yourself in a hidden corner, holding your heart in fear it might jump out.

eventually, small smiles across the room didn't cut it. when you headed up to ren's room to do nightly cleaning, you noticed the room just smelled so much of them. you missed ren deeply.

well... something small would be fine as long as you didn't get caught right? you laid on their bed and smelled the sheets. it was almost as if he was here, enveloping you in arms, whispering those sweet, reassuring words in your ear...

what started as innocently imagining him holding you ended with swearing to never tell him how just being in his bed had brought you to euphoric bliss.

~ ~ ~

after the festivites. you were sitting with him on that same bed, letting him cry into your shoulder. you rubbed their back up and down, soothing them until their sobs died down and they fell asleep in your arms, exhausted.

when you gently laid them down on their back, they tightly held onto you, afraid to lose you even in his sleep. as much as you wanted to stay in their arms, you didn't want to be presumptuous, so you very softly untangled yourself from their hold.

brushing a strand of hair away from their face. you fondly cupped their face and looked at ren's face while they slept. so peaceful and free from worry. but seeing them so peaceful was just what made you snap.

you wanted to keep them safe, but you had to know more. you want to see his baby pictures, you want to find his middle school diary, you want to know everything about him.

determined, you searched through everything around the room until the bookshelf was left. it consisted of mainly books relating to his studies throughout the years, but there was one book that captured your eye. Angels and their offerings.

there was a click! as you grabbed it and you whipped to ren. still asleep facing you. you felt something was loose, but the book wouldn't come out any more..?

oh. oh. a secret door. you should have guessed as much. being perfect to the public just meant being more careful with secrets.

opening the shelf-door revealed a staircase that led down to a hidden area with light emanating somewhere to the side. you tiptoed down the stairs, silently cursing and tensing whenever a step creaked. finally, you made it down and peeked around the corner to find a door with light dancing under the gap, like it's reaching out. you took its hand and opened the door.

ren has consumed your being. he's your everything.

clearly you were his too.

floors and walls covered with pictures of you, both drawn and photographed. the drawn ones depicted you in a variety of poses and situations. one was you kissing ren while sitting on his lap, another was you, as an angel, holding him while he bled out, presumably bringing him to heaven. the photographs were of your daily life doing chores and talking to the other members, but everyone else's face was crossed out to only leave you in.

starting to get flushed, you examine the back wall that displays a shrine dedicated to you. three tiers of all the belongings he's taken from you, adorned with candles.

the bottom tier was your trash, like the paper you doodled on earlier, a fork that you used at lunch last week, or your empty shampoo bottle from 3 months ago. the middle tier was stuff you purposefully left out for him, like your underwear, your necklace, or the pen you chewed on during bible study. the highest tier seemed to hold his favorites, like the, now dead lotus, the holy water jars he made with you, the sheets that smelled exactly like you.

hanging in the center was a framed photo of the day you moved in, just you and ren smiling at the camera. hearts drawn on the glass in front of your face.

before you know it, you feel two hands on your shoulders quickly spinning you around to look right into powdery blue eyes. you freeze, caught like a deer in headlights, anticipating the worst.

instead, you gasp when ren gets down on one knee, then both, kissing your hand and looking up at you like you've given him all the answers. to them, you truly looked like the most benevolent god.

ren didn't have to say anything for you to get the message.

you were who he will devote the rest of his life to, who he will make offerings for, who they will preach the gospel for.

kneeling down with him, you bestowed him the blessing of a kiss, then let him prove his faith by taking care of you in all the ways you wanted from ren. all the ways you needed from ren. their sinful fantasy of being able to worship you with hands and lips no longer a fantasy.

he will live and die for you. you will live and die for him.

you were his religion. he was yours.

author's note: MIC DROP, HAPPY HALLOWEEENNNNNN MUAHAHA !!! i decided to get a lil smutty in there because i watched secretary and i was like wait,, angel and priest ren with that yearning... a little insecure because i felt like i wrote too much while literally trying to do no dialogue orz i hope you still enjoyed tho!!

literally posting this while getting ready to go out :3 i hope you all stay safe if you celebrate or just have a good day!

ren is from @14dayswithyou , dividers by @/enchanthings !!

[risuola]

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU — F. READER x GETO SUGURU, who agreed to pretend to be your boyfriend for the Christmas party with your family

Every single year your family tries to peak into your privacy, showering you with judgmental stares and questions about your love life. Why are you still single? You were sick and tired of it, so when your best friend, Suguru, told you that he’ll be staying at dorms during the Christmas, you asked him a favor.

cw: college!au, smut, fluffy, best friends to lovers, idiots in love — 3,1k words

kissmas masterlist

You had enough. Every year during Holidays, all of your family, no matter if it was your mom or the aunt that you had no idea existed up until the official dinner, pried into your business, asking countless questions about your love life. Why are you still single? Isn’t that a shame that such a pretty girl doesn’t have a boyfriend? Aaah, you’re gonna be too old to find a man if you’ll be so picky! All of which, of course, with ‘good intentions’. Totally not because they enjoyed picking at your life.

It escalated to the point that when the celebrative season began, your anxiety reached its peak. You had problems with sleeping, you were distant, you couldn’t focus and it was only a matter of time since you crumble.

“What’s going on, sweets?” Suguru, your best friend, asked. It wasn’t hard for him to notice how your behaviors changed lately, you were sharing a dorm for college and he knew you more than anyone else. For a week he wasn’t bringing up the topic, hoping you’ll tell him yourself but it got to the point that you were completely out of his reach, even though you were sitting right next to him.

“Sugu…” you whined, pulling yourself from your bed and dragging your feet towards his. “I don’t want to go for holidays to my home. They’re gonna ask me those stupid questions why I’m still single and pseudo-politely assault me any given minute for aiming to die alone…”

“Ah, right, your family can be intense,” the boy chuckled softly, putting down the gaming pad and wrapping his arms around your deflated form. “I’ll be staying here this year, so if you sneak out of your dinner, you can always find me in dorms.”

“You’re staying here? All alone?”

“Yeah, it’s better than riding back and forth to the other half of Japan,” he shrugged, smoothing your arm gently as if he’s trying to soothe your nerves along with the delicate touch of his palm. And it worked, Suguru has the incredible ability to make your heart warm. It flutters in your chest every time he’s close to you, and part of it is that you love him secretly for years now but it’s way safer to hide it than to make your relationship with him awkward.

“Maybe you’ll go with me? You could pretend to be my boyfriend,” you muttered against his shoulder. It came out quicker than you could think about it.

“Hmm, you want me to deal with your family?” You could feel his body gently vibrating as he chuckled softly.

“I mean, I know you love the dumplings my grandma makes and also you won’t be alone in here? Please, I can pay you even. My family loves you more than they love me,” you looked up at him.

“You don’t have to pay me, sweets,” he said after a moment. “I can go with you if that’s gonna save you the prying. And also for the dumplings of course.”

“I love you, Sugu,” you hugged him tightly.

I love you. These words falling from your lips were a dream to Geto and as much as he would love you to mean it the way he means it, he knows that you are not exactly thinking of him that way. You’re friends, just that, he always reminds himself, and yet sometimes he hopes, because if everything you feel towards him is just friendship, why would you look so deeply into his eyes from time to time, as if you were trying to find something in his very soul? Why would your lips press so tenderly to his cheek? And now, as he’s stuck with you in your family home, pretending to be your boyfriend, why does it feel so natural to him? Why does it come with such ease, to caress your hands, to kiss your temple and hold you so close to his chest that he can swear his own heart matched the rhythm of yours?

And what Suguru could also swear, is that every food taste much better when you feed it to him. He doesn’t exactly know what was the reason, but it was just a fact in his book. He felt himself melting underneath your touch every time your thumb would swipe against the corner of his mouth because the piece you wanted to give him was just too big and made a mess.

“Aww, aren’t you two just so adorable?” One of your aunts fake-gasped, watching you intensively as if she was suspecting something. From the moment you and Suguru stepped into your family home, everyone was just too attentive. Especially your parents, they knew how close you are with Geto and maybe it wasn’t the best idea to bring him as your boyfriend but you wouldn’t change it for anything. There was no one else you’d want to share the holiday spirit with and you were just happy to have him as your partner, even if only for few days. He was so sweet to you and deep inside you felt your heart breaking from despair that it could never be real.

“I know, right?” You replied, keeping Suguru’s hand in yours, stealing its warmth and you were yet to notice the absentminded shapes you were brushing onto his skin for the time being. “I told you all these years that I’m waiting for the right man, and it paid off to wait so long.”

“I’m honestly surprised, for some time we were all worried about you for staying alone forever. Who would give you a glass of water when you’re old and all by yourself?” The very same words you hear every time there’s any family gathering rang in your head a little louder that evening. It was all pretended, it was all fake. Suguru was your friend, you were still single. You were still lonely.

“Luckily, she doesn’t have to worry about it anymore,” Suguru spoke before you were able to gather the courage to reply. He could easily sense the tension that stiffened your shoulders, he could tell by the way your jaw flexed just slightly that what you were experiencing was making you uneasy. Sometimes you felt like he was able to read your mind but that was impossible. If he could peak inside your thoughts, he would know how special he is to your heart. How you’d give everything to be allowed to love him openly, to call him yours.

“We’re all so happy for you two,” the aunt clapped, like a monkey would in the circus and sometimes you felt like that was exactly what you were surrounded with. Just monkeys that repeat the same sentences over and over again, that routinely copy the same patterns and though the idea left a sour taste in your mouth, you were determined to push though the performance. At that moment, you were far from thinking what to tell your family later, when the show is over. That you broke up? Or maybe you’ll keep them believing that you and your best friend are indeed in love with each other? From your perspective, it wouldn’t be hard, because you are. Oh, you’re so in love, it hurt you to remember that he’s not.

It took few hours of torture, as you called it, before you were officially permitted to leave the gathering and go to your room to rest and sleep before the madness continues in the morning. Relieved that the day is finally over, you took Suguru upstairs and when the doors closed behind you, you exhaled deeply. You felt as if the weight that was sitting heavy on your shoulders for the entire duration of the day was just now dropping.

“Tired?” He asked, taking his hands off your back where he was keeping it on the way up and immediately you felt incomplete without the support of his warm palm on your body. The empty spot now felt cold. “You look quite distressed.”

“Sorry, Sugu,” you mumbled, wiping the corner of your eye. You wanted to cry, to burst out in tears. “I hated that day. Even more than usually.”

“Hey, sweets, what’s going on?” Geto was quick to cup your pretty face and make you look up to him. “Is it my fault?”

“Yeah. It kinda is,” you wept, as his thumbs smoothed the dampened skin underneath your eyes. Suguru couldn’t help but admire the way they sparkled underneath the harsh light of the led lamps in your room, but at the same time, it broke his heart to know it was his fault you were shedding tears. “But you didn’t do nothing wrong.”

“Then what is the reason?”

“I just…” you stopped yourself. You couldn’t tell him, it would mess up the friendship you spent so many years to build. You couldn’t tell him. “It’s just—”

“You can tell me everything, you know that, right?”

He meant it. As Suguru was looking into your eyes, he tried to search for an answer, for any hint that could help him understand what made you so sad. He hated to see you cry, it was what made his throat clench and if it was only possible, he would reach up and give you a star from heavens above, just to see you smile, to see your eyes sparkle so beautifully with happiness that he oh so loved on you. If he could, he would kiss the tears away, take all of your burdens onto his own shoulders. Ah, how much he would love to just kiss you.

“I just… I just wish that it could be real. That we could be real,” you said finally, so quietly it could be a whisper and your lids fell shut, covering the eyes that were too afraid to witness his reaction. Suguru was too shocked to react at first, and it’s the subtlest touch of your fingertips on top of his hands that brought him back to reality. The lack of response, the fear and shame pushed your head lower. “I’m sorry, I—”

What cut your words short was Geto’s lips that landed on yours and made the world stop. The kiss started off slow and gentle, in a way your lips were gently touching it bore the innocence of being the first. You leaned into him, desperate to not let it end, wrapping your arms around his neck as the passion was taking hold. You began to make your ways deeper as the kiss escalated, the tongues danced and swirled together and the breaths grew heavier. Suguru pulled you closer, pushing up against you, savoring the oh so sweet release of emotions that accumulated over the years. It was consuming both of you, for that very moment you didn’t care about anything else in the world, lost in the moment together with lips locked and hearts beating.

“I love you too,” he murmured against your lips, resting his forehead against yours. He was out of breath, already flushed with the blissful euphoria. “I love you so fucking much.”

“Why you never told me?” Your question fell out quieter than you intended to, all the voice got caught in your throat. It was overwhelming, the kiss still lingered over your mouth, the feelings washing over your body like a tidal wave.

“I was scared. I thought you see me as a friend and nothing more,” Suguru confessed.

“I love you for so long already,” you chuckled, pecking his lips again and again. “God, we’re idiots.”

“At least we’re a perfect match.”

“Bet we are,” it made you happy. You could feel all the tension coming off your shoulders. “The holidays aren’t so bad with you around. And I still have a gift for you.”

“You are the only gift I’d love to unwrap,” he joked, lowering his lips to spread few nips along the curve of your neck. “All I want for Christmas is you.”

“You can unwrap me, though I’m not sure how secure is the lock in these doors,” you purred, your lids closing just barely at the feeling of his breath across your skin. You felt him chuckling softly as he swooped you up and carried onto the bed.

“Let’s check.”

The single sized mattress was nearly too small for the two of you, but it turned out there was a lot of convenience in Suguru being above you. In the privacy of your covers, he was quick to take off your holiday sweater and the cute skirt you wore and you got rid of his shirt and pants – all of which you kicked off the bed, too busy with exploring his skin to even consider getting up and folding it neatly. His kisses burned, the traces of his fingers were set alight with lust and desire, you felt like if you wait any longer, you’re gonna explode.

“I dreamt about it for so long,” he murmured against your collarbone, pushing the strap of your bra off your shoulder gently, as if he was silently asking for permission, still scared to rush you into intimacy. You, on the other hand, wished for nothing more than his touch on you, you wanted to be held, to be caressed and kissed, you wanted his body and mind and soul.

“I dreamt of you,” you whispered, arching your back and undoing the bra. “You are everything I want, Suguru.”

“God, you’re so beautiful,” he whimpered, lowering his head to caress the delicate skin of your chest. His touch was gentle and yet lined with intensity and passion, the desire he felt for you was palpable and the more you felt him, the more undone you became.

And then, the rest of fabric got lost underneath the sheets as his body settled between your legs. You felt his length running up and down between your folds, the slick covering him to ease his way into you. His name slipped over your tongue once he was fully in and your arms reached around his shoulders to keep him as close as possible. Suguru felt lightheaded, completely drunk in the feeling of you as he dragged his hips back only to thrust them forward again. And again. More and more, and more.

The two of you were lost in the moment, completely and so entirely lost. You were in your own world, your own space and nothing around you mattered. There was only him and you, only this feeling and you wanted nothing else, just him. He made your heartbeat rush, your legs tremble and your breath catch up in your throat as you tried to suppress the sounds by kissing his lips, his shoulders and neck. Suguru was making everything inside you come alive, as if your entire world was made of him and only him. Oh, you were so in love with him.

The cheap lights you had hanging on the wall reflected its lights in Geto’s eyes and you swore you could get lost in the golden hues of it, the cold glow of leds somehow did nothing to the warmth you felt from the boy above you. You allowed your hand to cup his cheek, exploring the ups and downs of his beautiful face, your thumb smoothing over the flushed cheeks and swollen lips. His long, luscious hair were tickling the side of your neck whenever he dived down to kiss your skin.

It was so quiet, so hushed and though you wished to scream his name out loud, you opted for whispers that carried on top of your breath were only for his ears to hear. Each time he moved, the wet sound escaped the covers, along with muffled whimpers and gasped out love confessions and praises.

“I’m so close,” Suguru breathed out, the feeling of your velvety walls tightening around him made him lose his mind, it felt divine and yet he knew he should pull out.

“Me too,” you whimpered against his throat, kissing and nipping on his skin, not at all bothered about the marks you’re gonna leave on him. Your breaths became faster, shallow as you struggled to stay present in the moment. Your mind was long gone in the land of pleasure, the sway of Suguru’s hips rid you completely of any coherence, the intensity of him twitching and flexing inside of you, time after time abusing the sweetest of spots within you. It was all too much and yet too little, you wished for this to never end.

“Let go, sweets, don’t hold it,” he purred near your ear, biting on it just slightly before his lips pressed to the side of your temple and down your face. “Cum for me and I’m gonna pull ou—”

“No, no¸ please,” you pleaded. “I’m on the pill, don’t pull out.”

“You sure?”

The nod of your head was all he needed as he picked up the pace just sweetly enough. He brought you to the edge and pushed you over it in a matter of few breaths, you were becoming undone underneath him, holding tightly onto his muscled shoulders and digging your nails into the skin there. Suguru felt himself lost in the moment, he let the hot feelings wash over him as he continued to thrust into you with yet a little more strength. The soft squeaks of your bed joined the melody of love that you played he could tell the heat in the room rose almost unbearably but that only seemed to stoke the fire within him. A smile crept onto his lips to the sight of your body squirming with pleasure as his fingers roamed along it, exploring and discovering the sensitive spots. And then, his high kicked in.

Geto never felt anything like this, the act of fucking his own hand, hidden in the bathroom he shares with you in the dorms could never compare to what he was experiencing right now. With you. It was hot, it was so overwhelmingly hot he felt that inside his veins now there was lava rushing instead of blood. His breath was coming fast as his body was getting beyond its breaking point. His mind and flesh got consumed with the passion you just shared.

Your back arched, your chest pressed against his own as the second wave of pleasure washed over you. You threw your head back, crying out his name dangerously loud, making him cover your lips with his large palm. It felt so right, so warm, so blissful.

“I love you,” Suguru whispered, dragging his hips back and forth sloppily few more times, riding the highs out slowly and once he took the hand off your lips, you breathed out the same, wrapping yourself around him, savoring the intimacy.

I love you, are the words Geto wished for many years to mean the same thing to you that they mean to him. Now they were and finally, he felt like he can breathe freely.

[foli-vora]

masterlist | foli jolly xmas list

A/N: gif by moi. Yeah I recycled the same from part 2 idc. Are you telling me it's been two fucking years since I wrote this? Get out. The flow of time is fake. Everything was against me this week trying to get this fucking thing out but I finally got there! Merry late Christmas, angels! Thank you all for being so fucking wonderful and supportive and patient with me while I worked out a really messy year and I wish you all nothing but the very best! Enjoy x

Word count: just shy of 7k

Warnings: cheesy hallmark romance, I want to be kissed by a cowboy under the mistletoe. Swearing, this hot af man, a solid semi-public make out sesh with said hot af man, SOFTNESS! so much fucking softness I want to throw up, smut with all the feels 18+ ONLY: soft and sweet and so fucking tender I'm so into it, fingering, oral (f rec), this man practically makes out with pussy and I won't hear otherwise, bit of hair pulling, mention of the implanon, unprotected p in v and a christmas creampie yay

PART ONE | PART TWO

It’s quite the occasion, he finds. This Christmas Eve ball-party thing. The whole town and more is there, crammed into the town hall decorated heavily with tinsel and lights and spilling out onto the snowy grounds around in the form of various food and Christmas stalls. There are craft tables full of parents with their kids, a little choir singing carols, and people having a snowman contest in the taped off carpark.

There’s an older man dressed as Santa sitting on a big seat for family photos, joyfully laughing and ho-ho-hoing as kids wander by in awe. Jack watches on comfortably, not yet interested in pursuing any of the stalls or food until he knows if you and the kids have eaten.

Despite his general dislike of the holiday, it’s hard to not feel… well, merry, and it has a content smile tugging at his lips. If Tequila could see him now, he’d never let him live it down. He’d get matching Christmas ties or some other ridiculous shit. Maybe there’s somewhere he could buy one for the agent here, he’s sure you’d find that funny.

“That’s not the real Santa,” Gabe says suddenly, appearing beside him.

Jack startles from being broken from his mental reverie, briefly wondering if a couple of weeks worth of leave had gone and ruined his well tuned Statesman senses. Champ would only have himself to blame. He turns expectantly, heart hammering wildly from the hope you’d be only a few paces behind your boy, but when he looks he finds you nowhere to be seen.

Gabe continues, oblivious to the way Jack shifts and deflates next to him.

“The real one’s too busy, so he gets George to step in. He does it every year.”

“Is that right? Suppose he would be a busy man.”

“Are you kidding? One night to get around the whole world? Dude’s insane.”

Jack grins, looking down at the boy and noting his styled hair. “You’re lookin’ sharp tonight, kid. You brush your hair?”

“Mum made me,” Gabe grumbles, ruffling his neatened curls with a thick gloved hand. “She’s in the hall with Lou, if you were wondering.”

“And why would I be wonderin’ that?”

The boy gives him a look, something bordering the line of smug and Jack rolls his eyes, giving him a gentle shove. Jesus, even the damn kid knows.

“Cut it out.”

“I didn’t say anything!”

“You didn’t have to. Now go on, lead the way. And stop lookin’ at me like that, or I’ll tell the big guy you need to go on the naughty list this year.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Oh, I would. Believe me. You think he doesn’t know about you hustlin’ me out of my hard earned money? You’re messin’ with fire, kid. You’re probably already on it.”

—

“Should’ve gotten more lights. I told him, you know.” Edith tuts to herself, frowning up at the hall ceiling.

You briefly pause from fussing over the cake competition table and glance up at the warm fairy lights dangled and intertwined between tinsel and garlands. She’s worrying over nothing, as always. Every year it’s a winter wonderland—inside and out, and this year is certainly no different. Has Jack seen it all yet? What does he think of it?

“Edith, any more lights and people would need sunglasses in here. Everything looks wonderful, as always. Now please relax and have some rum with your eggnog before your heart gives out. You don’t need to worry about anything tonight, leave it to the committee.”

“The only thing I’ll worry about is you not getting on top of that cowboy.”

You and me both, Edith.

You snort, directing your attention back to the cake stands and ensuring every label was front and centre. “On second thought, maybe stay away from the rum.”

“Speaking of the cowboy, here he comes. Fix your dress.”

“What’s wrong with my dress?”

It’s too late to worry, that southern drawl melts into your ears as he jokes about something with Gabe within the next few seconds and suddenly your insides are twisting and turning upside down. You play around with the table some more, gathering up a bit of courage before turning and smiling at Jack.

“Hi,” you breathe softly, cheeks already warming as his eyes meet yours.

Does this man ever not look like pure sin?

“Hey sugar,” he greets with a grin of his own. “You look incredible.”

“Oh, this old thing?” You tease, running a hand over the brand new dress you had painstakingly agonised over in an attempt to impress a stranger only in town for a few weeks. You’d spent an admittedly ridiculous amount of time in the local boutique trying and retrying dresses trying to find the right one. God, he doesn’t need to know that. “Not looking too bad yourself, cowboy.”

“Save a dance for me, won’t you, Jack?” Edith rasps sweetly, acting the innocent and delicate elderly lady and tapping his arm softly.

“Just try and stop me, ma’am.”

She wanders off into the crowds, more than happy to be stopped along her way to be praised on the decorations. She’s still going on about the damn lights.

“So what’s all this?” Jack asks in interest, body brushing yours as he steps up beside you to eye the table.

“It’s the yearly Christmas bake off, which I unfortunately have to judge as the town's resident baker.”

“Unfortunately?”

“I don’t like judging people's creations. They’re all wonderful and everyone always puts so much effort into it… makes me feel like a villain when I have to pick winners.”

Gabe steps up on your other side and eyes this year's entries. “Mum made a kid cry last year.”

Jack laughs in surprise. “What?”

“I didn’t know it was made by a child, okay?” You stress, rubbing along your brow line as last year's nightmare plays in your mind. After pinning the ribbons in place, a ten year old girl had promptly fallen into tears after not being given one, and you’d felt guilty about it for fucking weeks after. “If I had known, I would’ve picked them.”

“Well that defeats the purpose of it being a competition then, doesn’t it, sugar? You can’t pick a winner just because they’re a kid. I’m sure they knew that upon enterin’.” His hand runs comforting strokes up and down your middle back, entirely innocent, and yet your skin feels like fire beneath his hot palm.

“I think that one is the ugliest.”

Excellent timing, baby.

You sigh, “Gabriel—”

“Ah sugar, I gotta give it to the kid,” Jack drawls, eyes locked on the cake Gabe’s finger levelled at, “I’m thinkin’ it, too.”

“Well… obviously,” you agree quietly, discreetly looking around just in case its creator is somewhere lurking close by, “but we don’t say that out loud. That’s something we keep in our heads, okay?” Your gaze darts between them until they give a nod in agreement.

It’s quiet for a moment longer, Jack’s hand never once straying from your back or ceasing its gentle strokes as you each silently judge each cake, until Gabe smacks his lips and shrugs.

“They definitely lose.”

“Gabriel.”

A little body squeezes itself between you and Gabe, and your hand automatically falls to rest on Lou’s head. She’s quiet, happily making her way through a gingerbread cookie and swaying to the music being performed by the town's little local band when Jack peers curiously around you, smiling indulgently at the little girl.

“There you are, sweetheart. Was worried you didn’t make it tonight, thought I was gonna have to dance by myself.”

She grins shyly, hiding her face in the long length of your dress and forgetting about the half eaten treat in her hand. You don’t blame her, Jack definitely has that effect on people. 

“Will you dance with me, little lady?”

Lou peeks up at Jack from under her lashes. It takes only a minute until she gives a small nod before pressing the cookie into your hold and reaching out to take his large hand in her much smaller one. He gently spins her as he leads her to the dance floor, and her giggles as her bright red tulle dress flows around her can be heard from over the crowds.

You watch them go with a content smile, before moving your gaze to Gabe.

“Would it be totally lame for you to be seen dancing with your mama?” You ask him softly, brushing a hand over his hair. All the kids from his school are here, and you know he’s starting to reach that age where others' opinions may sway his decisions on things. He still lets you hug him at school drop off and pick up though, so maybe you still have a bit of time.

He gives you a toothy grin, looping his arm through yours and pressing into your side. “I don’t care.”

—

It’s hours later when you finally get him selfishly to yourself, once Lou had promptly fallen asleep on your thick winter coat spread over some chairs in the corner and Gabe had been whisked away to a snowball fight with the other kids. Jack had approached after your yearly duty had been completed with thankfully no one falling into tears, and asked you to dance.

You don’t usually dance. Not properly, anyway. Swinging the kids around and twirling them under your arm while they giggle and jump along is one thing, but this? Tucked up close to someone and trying not to trample on their toes? You haven’t done this in a long time. 

Jack doesn’t seem to mind, and with the feel of him pressed up against you? You don’t care if you seem a little awkward. It gives you both a chance to talk, and without interruptions. You ask more about his work, his life, which he seems to still not want to divulge in as much as you had hoped. He does tell you a little more about himself though, what he enjoys during his limited free time and that he’s starting to realise he doesn’t get away from work as much as he probably should.

“Maybe you should invest in a holiday cabin,” you tease, head tilting in a playful manner as you sway between the other locals crowding the hall. “I’ve heard they’re pretty popular to rent out when you don’t need it.”

“That’s not a bad idea, darlin’. Know any good locations?”

“Nowhere local, I’m afraid. You don’t fit in.”

He makes a low noise of understanding, pushing you softly away only for him to spin you under his arm and drag you right back up against him. You’re fucking giddy at the movement.

“Too handsome?”

“Too much of a grinch.”

“Hey now, that’s not fair. I ate a candy cane.”

“And I heard you singing along to a Christmas song, too.”

“Me? I would never,” he responds gruffly, but when his gaze slides to meet yours he grins. “It’s your fault, sugar. What’re you doin’ to me?”

“Working my Christmas magic.”

Christmas magic? Is that what you’re calling this? He feels like a damn school boy, twirling a pretty girl around at a winter dance. He quite likes it. Working at the office and back to back missions have filled his days sure, but there’s a slight tug of loneliness he hasn’t quite been able to hide with distractions for a long time. It feels damn nice to finally soothe that.

His eyes dance across your face, the hand splayed on your lower back tightening and bringing you in impossibly closer. “You’re workin’ some kind of magic, that's for damn sure.”

Holy shit. Heat immediately flares beneath your skin and spreads across your cheeks, biting sharply at your ears. What a smooth bastard. You fight the urge to shyly curl in on yourself, instead letting your grin widen in amusement as you trail your hand from his shoulder to the base of his neck. 

“Is that right?” You ask softly, fingers gently twisting and carding through the small patch of hair you could reach from under his stetson. He likes that, you discover quickly, catching the way his eyes drop to your lips the second your nails scratch lightly over his skin. Noted. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, cowboy.”

His chest heaves with a sigh, his lips never losing that charming upturn. 

Shaking his head at your playful antics, he coaxes you to rest your head on his shoulder with a rumbled, “C’mere,” and it’s impossible not to melt into a fucking puddle right then and there. Thank god he’s got a good hold on you. He thinks you’re working magic? Then what the hell is this?

“You can’t do that. It’s not fair.”

“Do what?” His drawl rumbles into your body from the close proximity and settles thickly in the pit of your stomach. You feel the slightest brush of lips over the shell of your ear and fight the urge to shiver. 

“That. This.”

You’re so incredibly aware of him, of every move and touch. It’s overwhelming, maddening, and you want so much more. He absolutely knows what he’s doing, feels the way you’re practically jelly in his hold. His lips press into the side of your head before his breath ghosts your ear again, and this time you can’t fight the tremble when he speaks lowly.

“I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about, sugar.”

Air. You fucking need air.

Jack must feel the same, or at least know what you need, because as soon as you pull away to meet his eyes, he’s giving you one of those heart achingly handsome smiles and gently leading you through the people towards the doors. The night air nips at your uncovered skin, cooling the heated feel of it and thankfully bringing some clarity to your mind. 

Any more of that low honey drawl in your ear and mouth watering aftershave sinking into your nostrils and you would’ve absolutely made a fool out of yourself in front of your friends and neighbours. The last thing you need is to be the topic of town gossip for mounting a tourist right in the middle of the bloody dancefloor.

The few steps are thankfully clear of people when you tread just outside of the hall doors, with the late hour bringing most of the remaining people inside as the temperature drops. The food trucks and stalls had been mostly dismantled and packed away, those remaining still working away before the snow comes in and otherwise ignoring you and Jack lingering on the steps.

You feel the slight tingle of nerves all of a sudden, which is ridiculous considering the amount of time you’ve spent with him recently. Maybe it’s because this is your first time properly alone, without the kids running around and without having to say goodbye. You have time to just be, to enjoy his company and not have to worry about interruptions.

“Forgive me for sayin’ so, sugar,” Jack murmurs, halting your train of thought and bringing your attention fully to him, “but I can’t help but notice—that looks an awful lot like mistletoe up there.”

You fight the immediate tug pulling at the edges of your lips and glance up to where he points, spying the familiar cream bulbs amongst a sprig of fresh green leaves wrapped neatly in a small red bow.

“I believe you’re right, cowboy.”

“Now hear me out… I know I ain’t big on this whole festive season thing, but I figure it’d be mighty rude of me to break a well loved tradition.”

“I agree,” you breathe in reply, eyes falling to where his lips morph into an indulgent smile before snapping back up to meet his warm brown eyes. They’re soft, radiating with such a sweet tenderness that you feel it deep in your chest.

A warm hand cups the side of your throat softly, his thumb brushing your jaw delicately and it’s ever so easy to lean into the touch and relish in the comfort it provides. Your breath seems to hold as he moves in, stepping closer until you feel the brush of his jacket against your torso through the thin material of your dress. He holds for a moment, seemingly content to let his gaze roll along your features before he gives another little smile.

“Would you mind, darlin’?”

Returning his smile is automatic—it simply can’t be helped.

“Not at all, Jack.”

The tickle of his moustache and tender press of his soft lips is nothing short of perfection. You don’t feel the bite of the cold, you don’t hear the music and the laughter and the constant roll of chatter from the hall. It’s just him. Just Jack. It’s all Jack. 

He pulls away far too soon, and you merely make a low noise of denial before curling your fingers into his shirt and pulling him gently back for more. He indulges you with a throaty chuckle, lips returning to yours with a little more pressure, a little more wanting. This time his tongue ever so slightly comes to trace your lips, and they part immediately, the kiss deepening until you feel the effects of it right down to your toes. 

If you thought you were in trouble before, you don’t stand a chance now. The faint traces of peppermint still linger on his tongue and you chase the taste eagerly, stomach in knots when an arm curls around your body to bring you flush against his. Though you’re lost in the feel and taste of him, Jack remains aware of the goings on around you both and inwardly curses the sound of people nearing the door inside of the hall.

Words are mumbled against your lips. 

“Darlin’, is there somewhere we can go a little more private?”

He’s not quite finished with you yet, and he’ll be damned if anyone’s cutting this short. Your boy included. He’s a great kid and all, but not the best with his damn timing. You don’t even realise your hands have wandered, finding a home on his hips and fisting desperately at his shirt.

Private? There’s nowhere private in this town, especially here. The hall is practically the centre of it. There’s out the back, you suppose, where the dumpsters are. It’ll have to do, because you need more of those lips preferably as soon as fucking possible. 

You snatch his hand and start leading the way, the icy air nipping at your arms. 

“Is there nowhere inside? You’ll catch your death out here,” Jack speaks behind you with a tinge of concern as you lead him down the steps and around the building. 

“Guess you’ll have to keep me warm, then.”

“I got no problems with that, sugar, believe me, but still—”

There’s rustling, his hand pulling softly out of yours and then the cover of something heavy and warm, smelling distinctly of that intoxicating cologne that has your mouth watering, over your shoulders. You shift in his jacket, smiling at the typical chivalry that seems to come so naturally from him.

Jack eyes your surroundings when you eventually get around the building, not exactly pleased by the thought of not being able to give you the romantic environment you deserve, but he can’t see or hear anyone in close range and that’s damn good enough for him. He sweeps you into his arms, grinning at your little sharp cry of surprise and crowds you into the wall, his jacket saving your thinly covered shoulders from rubbing against the rough brick facade.

Settling back against the building with a smile of your own, you blink sweetly up at him and tilt your head in playful curiosity. “Is there something I can help you with, cowboy?”

“Yes, darlin’, as a matter of fact there is.”

His hot breath sweeps over your lips and they part in anticipation, your heart beating heavily in your chest as his nose brushes along your own. He drags it out, teasingly pulling away at the last second when you get only centimetres away from his lips and grinning when you make a low noise of impatience.

“Did you need somethin’, sugar?” He drawls deeply, warm brown eyes hooded as they flick between your eyes and lips.

“Oh, shut up,” you groan softly, tangling your fingers into the front of his shirt and tugging him forward. His mouth slants messily over yours, a sudden tangle of tongue and teeth, and you can’t help but moan softly at the overwhelming intensity of it.

A sound that has the power to be his entire fucking undoing, he finds as it ricochets through his ears and right to the very core of him.

Gone is the tender moment of before, cuddled under mistletoe and filled with the warmth of something sweet and unknown. He presses into you fully, firmly, his body pinning you to the wall and giving you the chance of feeling dip and curve of him. His hands grab at your waist, fingers digging roughly into your skin and you curl into him even further, your own hands finding and clutching at his broad shoulders.

You’re left panting against the side of the building when you eventually part, the sound of shouts and laughter off in the distance cutting through the dizzying haze that had fallen over your mind. Jack’s no better, clearly struggling to regulate his own breathing as he braces himself against the wall with his palms, effectively caging you in.

One shared glance and you both dissolve into quiet laughter, either the kiss or the cold bringing a charming pink tinge to Jack’s cheeks, which you trace softly with icy fingers.

“I think the snow’s about to come in, I should get the kids home. Are you still okay to give us a ride?”

“Of course, but I’ll uh… I’ll catch up with you, sugar. I’m gonna need a minute.”

—

Despite the obvious exhaustion hanging in the kid’s limbs, he does a damn good job of fighting the call of sleep long enough to set up for the big visit. Cookies that absolutely had to be presented on a christmas tree dish, a glass of cold milk and nine individual carrots. When Jack asks if using the whole bag was necessary, Gabe levels him with an unimpressed glare.

“One carrot isn’t enough for nine reindeer.”

“That’s a fair point.”

“Will you still be here in the morning?”

Jack casts a glance towards the kitchen, where he can hear you washing the cups that were used for hot chocolate upon getting home. “Uh, probably not, kid.”

Gabe deflates with a quiet oh, his face falling into a little frown. He shifts on his feet, gaze moving from the twinkling Christmas tree to Jack before stepping closer and wrapping his arms around the man. Jack holds still, not exactly sure how to take the sudden sweet affection from the boy whose love language was calling him lame and taking his money.

“Well, Merry Christmas, Jack,” the boy mumbles into his chest, and Jack swallows the sudden feel of something building in the back of his throat as he returns the embrace. 

“Merry Christmas, kid,” he rasps quietly, hand stroking through the hat flattened curls on the back of his head. 

“Alright mister, time to hit the hay.”

Gabe releases his hold as you reenter the room and nods, giving Jack one last smile before making his way to the stairs. You follow behind him, stopping him on the third step and spinning him softly to face you.

“Did you brush your teeth?”

“Yes mum,” he sighs dramatically, rolling his eyes up to the ceiling and back.

Grinning, you fix his baggy pyjama top and plant a kiss on his cheek. “And what about your Christmas wish?”

“I don’t need to make it anymore,” he shrugs, and you recoil in surprise. “My wish has been the same for ages, and I think it’s coming true now.”

“Oh?” You frown in curiosity, brushing a stray curl from his forehead. He’s never told you what he wishes for, so the fact he thinks it’s suddenly coming true has you wondering what it could be. “Can I ask what it is?”

“Nope,” he grins, casting one final glance towards Jack before giving you a cuddle and starting back up the stairs. “Night mum.”

You watch him go with a look of interest, listening to the creak of his bedroom door as he closes it behind him. Did he somehow know he was getting a new iPad? Did he find it stashed away before you could wrap it? Damn, you thought you hid it so well. 

“He’s a real good kid,” Jack says from where he lounges against the doorframe of the living room. “They both are.”

“I know,” you smile.

The conversation echoes the one you had when he first came over, and the memory isn’t lost on Jack either as he grins in return. 

“I had a good time tonight, sugar. I suppose this festive season stuff isn’t too bad, after all. Don’t tell anyone I said that.”

“Your secret is safe with me.”

His grin widens briefly as he looks back to the tree, uncertainty beginning to stir in the pit of his stomach. It’s probably getting to that time of the night where he should leave you to it, no doubt you’d have a few things to organise before going to bed yourself, but he doesn’t want to just yet. Can’t seem to find the strength to grab his stetson and jacket and say goodbye.

He doesn’t want it to seem like he’s expecting anything to happen. The night could end with that kiss shared against the hall and he’d leave a damn happy man, but curiosity has him waiting, wondering what move you’d make next, if any. You don’t say anything for a few moments, comfortable with the silence you share as you each watch the other.

Louisa’s long gone and lost to dreams, the girl barely able to keep her eyes open for more than thirty seconds when Jack pried her from the car to bring her inside. Gabe’s ability to fall asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow should be scientifically studied, so you wouldn’t have to worry about him either.

You quietly start making your way up the stairs, pausing just half way up and glancing back at Jack over your shoulder. He’s watching, waiting. The shy little sultry smile you send him is all the invitation he needs.

Knowing he’s right there and following your footsteps has your heart going wild with every step you take closer to your bedroom. A hand presses to the small of your back when you eventually reach your door and push it open, Jack moving damn near silent as the grave as he steps in behind you and closes the door.

“I haven’t done this in a long time,” you admit, nerves finally getting the better of you when his eyes land on you.

“Don’t you worry about that, sugar,” he replies, stepping forward to cup your jaw and you turn into his hand, seeking the reassuring touch. “Now you’re sure about this?”

A silly question.

“More than anything.”

His mouth is on yours as soon as he hears your words, and your head swims from the sweet press of his lips. It’s soft, a moment to put your nerves at ease and work you gently into it, something you’re thankful for as the tension slowly leaks from your shoulders. You follow his lead, letting him kiss you into an absolute frenzy until you feel brave enough to move your hands to unbutton his shirt and push it from his shoulders.

It’s when you trail your hands softly over his ribs and stomach does he kiss you deeper and let his own hands wander, palms smoothing over your sides and back before finding the zipper of your dress. You hold your breath as he tugs at it, shivering at the warm fingers that run along your bare skin when it’s finally open.

You slip your arms out of the short sleeves and let the fabric puddle at your feet, your bra quickly following, and your body warms under the way he unashamedly rakes his eyes over you in the muted light of your bedroom. 

“Lay down for me, darlin’. Let me take care of you.”

He watches as you sink into your mattress and wiggle yourself up the bed until your head rests comfortably on your pillows, that charming grin you love oh so much tugging at his lips when you give him another shy smile. 

“You’re beautiful.”

He’s one to talk, standing at the foot of your bed shirtless and looking like that.

“And you’re too far away.”

Your thighs part as he climbs onto the bed after you, crawling between your spread legs and over your body, chasing the taste of your mouth before directing his attention to your jaw, and then your throat. His teeth nip at your skin, his tongue soothes the brief tinge of pain away, and you don’t know whether you’re trying to pull him closer or push him away with the more he works your body into an absolute fever.

Fingers trace the waistband of your underwear and your heart starts to beat that much harder in your chest you think he must be able to feel it under his lips. You start to squirm beneath him when his fingers slip beneath the fabric and run softly over your core, brushing over the slick build of arousal and tracing your clit.

“Fuck—”

“Easy,” he murmurs soothingly against your skin, and you swear you hear a smile in his tone.

A thick finger slides into you, probing and curling against your hot walls before a second joins, and the stretch burns in the best of ways. He works you open slowly, more than content to go at his own leisurely pace and indulge in every twitch of slick muscle and quiet moan he can pull from your lips as he kisses his way along your body.

By the time his mouth reaches your stomach, you’re an absolute mess.

He pulls his fingers from your pussy to rid you of your underwear and you whine at the sudden loss of them filling you, but anticipation builds deep in the pit of your stomach as he settles comfortably between your spread legs, arms hooking under your thighs until they rest over his shoulders.

“Are you trying to kill me, cowboy?” You breathe weakly, biting at your lower lip when you feel his warm breath blow over your pussy.

He chuckles softly, “Sorry, sugar.”

The feel of his tongue making a path between your entrance and clit feels like anything but an apology. Your hand flies to his hair, fingers tangling tightly in it as he applies pressure to your clit, lips sucking at it softly and tongue rubbing slow, firm circles until you could almost go mad from the steady lull of it.

He likes to take his time.

There’s no rush with Jack, no quick foreplay so he can turn around and ask for his turn and get right to what he wants. He seems to enjoy working you up as much as you enjoy being victim to it. He waits until you’re breathless to change course, to alternate between building up your climax with firm laps of tongue and then letting it die down to taste you deeper, open mouth flush to your pussy as his tongue tastes you right from the source, and then right back up to start all over again. 

Again and again.

“Jack, please—”

You feel a touch of teeth against your clit as he grins and you think then and there that he really is out to kill you. Slowly, and very fucking nicely.

“You can handle a little more, sugar.”

“No, no I really can’t. Please, please do something—”

He groans softly against you, and the vibrations against your clit have your fingers tightening in his hair. He does like that. You tug at it some more, breathing another few pleas for good measure and finally—finally—you get what you want. He breaks free of his routine, tongue merciless as it strokes and rubs into your clit.

There’s no room to wiggle or squirm free of his hold. His arms lock around your thighs, giving you no room for reprieve as he chases your climax and you can only endure, barely remembering to keep your noises to a minimum as he drags you up and over the edge and then some.

You’re trembling in his hold when he finally breaks free of you, sweat slicking your brow and clit throbbing from the overstimulation. That damn smile is back on his face when he eventually crawls back over you, placing a wet messy kiss to the corner of your lips when you can only manage a half hearted glare his way.

“How’re you holdin’ up?”

“Shut up.”

“That’s the second time you’ve told me to shut up tonight.”

“Yeah, well… you deserve it.”

He chuckles quietly, resting his body weight against yours and you whine at the rough press of denim to your sensitive flesh. Your eyes flutter closed when his lips close over yours, his moustache wet and slick with your arousal. It’s hard to feel self conscious about any of it when he’s kissing you like this—tenderly, hungrily.

“Jeans,” you murmur into his mouth, hands tugging impatiently at his belt until he kneels and undoes the thick leather band and begins to slip out of his pants.

He’s back over you within minutes and you relish the feel of hot skin against yours, the heavy feel of his hard cock resting against your core. Your pussy clenches as he gives a small thrust against you.

“Do you have anything?”

“I don’t exactly get a lot of action, cowboy. Do you?”

“I wasn’t really expecting to sleep with the town's prettiest baker, sugar.” He grins, eyes warm as they dance across your face. He kisses you again, soft and reassuring. “It’s alright, we don’t have to—”

“No. No, no—please. I’m clean, and I’ve got the rod. Are you—do you—”

“Clean,” he rasps, and with your final nod of encouragement his hips shift until he’s lining himself up and sliding into you. He’s thick, the stretch of him almost too much even with his earlier attentions to get you ready. He stops halfway before pulling back out, only to sink deeper in on the next thrust.

He keeps the pace slow and steady, letting you adjust to the feel of him while kissing you senseless. Your hands are unable to stay in one place too long, going from curling around his neck to keep his mouth on yours, to his shoulders, to his back and hips. You start to rock up to meet his thrusts, coaxing him deeper and harder until he drives into you hard enough to rock the bed and knock the headboard against the wall.

You both freeze at the sudden sound, and he breaks away from your mouth to eye the headboard with a frown. This won’t work, not with the way he wants to have you, the way you obviously want him to have you. And how could he disappoint you? No, this won’t do.

“It’s okay,” you breathe softly with a smile, “we’ll just have to be careful.”

“‘scuse me, sugar,” he mutters after a moment of thought, tugging a pillow free from under your shoulder and leaning up over you to shove it harshly between the headboard and the wall. He gives an experimental heavy thrust of his hips once he deems it in position and your hands scramble for purchase, coming to tightly clutch at his waist.

When the headboard doesn’t knock against the wall again, he gives you a sly look of victory and grins.

“There we go. Now where was I?”

“Doing that again.”

“Of course, how could I forget?” He teases playfully, curling back over you to swallow your broken moans as he resumes the pace he had been working into before.

You clench, tighten and flutter around him as he fucks into you, mouth still so sweet and soft against your own it’s hard to keep up with the contrast of it all.

He kisses you until he physically can’t anymore, breaking away to hide his face into your throat as the slick feel of your pussy builds that tightening growing in the pit of his stomach. He pulls you closer, tangles his fingers with your own, finds every possible way to be even closer still. He wants to drown in you, feel and taste you and be surrounded by nothing but you.

It’s your final barely coherent utter of his name that sends him hurtling off the edge, a long drawn out fuck muffled into the skin of your throat as he feels himself fill you. He doesn’t move from covering you until he’s long gone soft, barely able to bring himself to pull out of you and collapse softly beside you.

His heart hammers in his chest, something else swimming beside the post-climax bliss and he’s not quite sure what to make of it, what to think. This is more than a simple fleeting attraction.

He likes you.

He really fucking likes you. Great sex out of the equation, he likes your company. He likes that you can laugh at and with him. He likes your home and how comfortable he is in it. He likes your kids.

Shit.

Now what?

“You doing okay over there, cowboy?” You ask gently, head rolling to the side to watch him. He’s thinking long and hard about something, and you hope to god it wasn’t something like regret.

“I don’t think I can leave this behind, sugar,” he mutters, eyes locked on the ceiling as he works his way through his thoughts and swallows the brief shake of nerves. “I thought I’d be runnin’ out of town by the time my vacation was up, but this… you and the kids, I don’t think I can leave it so easily.”

He leaves his confession to sink in for a moment, tongue sweeping along his lips as his heart starts to roar in his ears. He can’t look at you, doesn’t want to see the potential rejection build in your eyes before it passes through your lips, so he keeps his eyes away.

“I know I said I don’t have the option of datin’ because of my work, but… would you let me try?”

It’s a long shot. You’ve never had this conversation, never broached potentially taking this further than just a little fleeting moment in your lives. There’s a chance he’s just gone and ruined whatever casual thing you’d both crafted, but it was worth a shot, right?

Maybe he should’ve just kept this to himself and thought more on it back at the cabin.

“Long distance is hard, but we can take it slow,” you decide quietly, smiling softly when his eyes dart to you. “I don’t think I can just let you run out of town and never see you again, cowboy.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

Thank Christ. He heaves a sigh of relief and rolls onto his side, coaxing you into his arms and brushing a few fingers gently across your cheek. You turn into the heat of his body, winding an arm around him and letting your fingers dance random patterns up and down his back.

“Would you like to stay for Christmas?” You ask against his chest, nuzzling into his hot skin.

“It’s a special time for the kids, I don’t wanna intrude—”

“You wouldn’t be. You’re invited. They’d love to have you here, if you want to be. Do you think you’ll be able to survive a proper Christmas with us?”

He grins, “I’d love nothin’ more, sugar.”

“So it’s settled. Come on, you grinch. I’ll show you how to play Santa.”

He watches you roll from the bed and tuck yourself into your dressing gown, and you only notice his frown when you’re tying the thin belt and sliding your slippers on.

“What's wrong?”

“The fact that you’re up and walkin’ so damn easily. I’ll take care of that, once we’ve taken care of this.”

—

The chair next to him is empty when he sits down, and Tequila throws a curious glance Champ’s way. He’d half expected Whiskey to be clawing his way back into the building first thing this morning. His desk had been untouched, the corridors empty of his presence. No one had seen or heard anything about him.

Worry begins to stir in his chest, wondering if they’ve maybe pushed him too hard and he’s gone and quit for another agency, but it quickly dissolves away when he realises Champ’s at ease and unbothered. Losing Jack would hit the older man quite hard, so to see him reclined in his office chair with a cigar in hand is a sign everything is well. 

“Agent Whiskey’s extended his vacation,” Champ states, breaking the silence and answering the questions building on the young agent's tongue. “He’ll be back after New Years.” 

Tequila settles back into his chair and grins. So good ol’ Scrooge ended up having a decent Christmas after all. Good for him.

“Finally enjoyin’ some peace and quiet, then.”

“He’s enjoyin’ somethin’, alright. He’s asked for the weekend of Valentine’s Day off, too.”

—end.

[spdrwdw]

Art by peachypie

Pairing: Miguel x f!Reader

Warnings: None, just fluff

Summary: You and Miguel attend a Christmas party at work where you receive the best Christmas gift you could ever hope for.

Word Count: 3k

A/N: Decided to whip up a quick little Christmas fic. Sorry for it being posted last minute lmao. Hope everyone has a happy holiday!

Masterlist

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It was the week before Christmas and the bakery where you worked was just bustling with people. Nonstop orders were coming in as you continued baking various breads and pastries. 

Your face and apron were just covered in flour and frosting and who knows what else. You just looked a hot mess, honestly. But, on the positive side, you being busy with orders made the time just breeze through, and you were thankful, because everything was hurting by the end of your shift. Arms, legs, neck, back. Everything ached. 

“I could really use a massage right about now,” you sighed as you began your clean up routine after the doors closed. 

Miguel, your coworker and best friend, was up front counting the till for the night. 

“Yeah? Hmm, well, I happen to be pretty good at giving massages, you know. If you want some relief,” he replied, shooting a smirk and a wink your way as you walked past him. 

You rose a brow at him, feeling your cheeks heating up at his words before finally shaking your head at him. 

“Why do I feel like you mean something completely different by that?” You questioned. 

“Maybe you should get that mind of yours out of the gutter,” Miguel shot back at you, causing you to flinch. 

“Rude,” you muttered under your breath as you headed back into the kitchen. 

Once Miguel had finished counting the funds made that day and finished cleaning up at the front of the store, he made his way to the back to help you with whatever else you needed. 

“Don’t we have that Christmas party going on in two days?” You then asked, trying to remember when the shop’s Christmas party was going to be held. 

Miguel nodded his head as he cleaned up the mixers. “Yeah. It’s gonna be on Saturday. We’ll be closing shop early for it. We’re also doing Secret Santa during the party, too.”

“Oh, crap! I honestly forgot about that! Crap crap crap!” You hissed, shaking your head as you swept the floor. You definitely had to drop by the mall and buy something for Jess. You really forgot all about the Secret Santa thing. You were so preoccupied with school and finals that it had just slipped your mind.

“Well, you’re welcome for the reminder,” Miguel snickered.

You rolled your eyes at him, however, grateful for the reminder. You didn’t want to attend the Christmas party without your secret Santa gift. 

Once everything was cleaned and checked off, Miguel closed up shop for the night. 

“You’ll be okay getting home?” Miguel asked as he locked the front doors. 

“Yeah, I should be alright. I can catch the last bus home,” you assured him as you zipped up your jacket and stuffed your hands into the jacket’s pockets. 

“Alright. Keep your phone on you and text me when you get home.”

Miguel may be a pain in the ass at times. But, he was still your best friend and he always looked out for you.

“I will. Promise. Have a good night, Miguel,” you smiled up at him, nodding your head.

It also didn’t help that he made your heart skip a beat sometimes when he acted so sweet towards you. Just fueling the silly little crush you had for him since you both met during your freshman year of college, 

“Good night,” he smiled back at you as you turned at your heel and began to walk the opposite way.

Miguel watched you for a moment before you turned the corner, waiting a couple of minutes before he walked the opposite  direction to head home. 

As promised, you texted him once you got to your apartment, even sent him a selfie of you at the front door, sticking your tongue out and giving him a peace sign before you opened the door and stepped inside. 

The next couple of days were a blur. You did not remember the events that happened during those days that had led you to the day of the Christmas party. 

All your coworkers were there. Including Miguel. Of course, he would be there. 

Everyone was dressed up, either wearing ugly sweaters or Christmas themed clothes. You settled for a cute Santa dress. 

People brought in food, either store bought or homemade. You decided to bake some gingerbread cookies to bring in. You did work at a bakery, after all, and everyone seemed to enjoy them despite constantly being around baked goods. 

The party was going well. Everyone was mingling, eating, drinking, and even dancing around in the shop. You were talking to Jess and MJ, sitting down on a booth over at a corner of the shop. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Miguel staring at you, or possibly at the table. 

Since he was your best friend, he sometimes acted like a sad puppy when he wasn’t allowed to be part of the ‘girl group’ that was you, Jess, and MJ. 

You couldn’t help but smile in his direction. He caught your expression and smiled back at you before moving his attention back to the conversation he was having with Peter and Ben. 

While things continued to go great, something else had caught your eye. Ben. 

He was staring at you. You noticed he had been staring at you the entire time. You didn’t think anything of it at first. While he wasn’t a close friend of yours, you did talk to him from time to time. Either during work or if you ran into him on campus. 

But, it had gotten to a point that it made you feel a little uncomfortable. You were aware of his crush on you. And you did even go on a date with him one time a while ago, but it just didn’t click. You didn’t like him like that. And him staring at you at that moment, made you cringe a little.

Miguel seemed to notice it, too. And he didn’t like it. Not one bit. He knew why Ben was staring at you. It was your outfit. While there was nothing wrong with what you were wearing, you looked absolutely cute in it. 

You were wearing the red santa dress, and you had put on some makeup to match the outfit. While you did wear makeup every now and then when you were up to it, you usually didn’t wear it as you did today. It made you look..different. In a way in which Miguel just couldn’t describe. It made his heart skip a beat every time you caught his gaze and smiled at him. 

However, your outfit had caught Ben’s attention as well. And while Miguel was good friends with Ben, he wasn’t going to have him staring at you, either. 

“What are you looking at, Ben?” Miguel asked, trying to divert the blonde’s attention. 

“Hmm? What?” Ben hummed, still looking your way. 

“What are you staring at?” Miguel repeated, with a tiny hint of aggression in his voice. 

Ben raised a brow as he finally looked over at Miguel before shaking his head. “Nothing.” 

“Nothing?”

Ben shrugged. “Okay, maybe I have been staring at the girls over there, but I mean, dude, can you blame me?” Ben slightly nudged over in your direction.

“She looks really good in that outfit. Don’t you think? Like..damn,” Ben chuckled a little. 

Miguel simply grunted in response. However, he didn’t like how Ben kept staring at you. It made him feel some type of way. He wasn’t possessive of you. He had no right to be. But, it did irk him a bit when other guys stared at you. And he lowkey wanted to punch Ben at that moment. His hands were already clenched into tight fits, getting ready to strike.

“Yo, Miguel. Helllooooo. Earth to Miguel!” Peter waved his hand in front of Miguel, trying to catch his attention. 

“W-what?” Miguel blinked as he was snapped out of his thoughts, looking back over at Peter. 

“Sorry. What was that?”

Peter rolled his eyes. “I asked if you were gonna want another beer? I was gonna grab some more from the cooler,” Peter repeated. 

“Oh. y-yeah yeah. Sure. Thanks,” Miguel nodded his head as Peter and Ben both went into the kitchen to grab more beers. 

He then looked back over to the table and noticed that you were no longer there. Where did you go?

“Miguel? You okay?” You asked, appearing beside him, causing him to jump a bit in surprise before looking over at you. You simply looked up at him, head tilted slightly in curiosity. 

“I noticed you’ve been a little out of it today. You alright?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine,” Miguel assured you, giving you a gentle smile. 

“You sure?” You asked, not really believing him.

“Promise,” he nodded just at Peter and Ben made his way back out. 

You then nodded your head and took a step back before making your way over to your other coworkers to talk to them for a bit. Miguel could hear everyone complimenting your outfit. He realized that he hadn’t said anything about it yet. He should bring it up before the night ends. 

About another hour or so had gone by, people were a little more loose, a little more rowdy. The music was louder, the conversations produced more laughter, and people were just a little more bold and daring. 

You had gone into the kitchen to grab yourself some more food, feeling your stomach growling. You grabbed a plate and began to load it with food, humming softly to yourself along to the music that was playing on the other side. You didn’t notice someone entering the kitchen, approaching you. 

“Still stuffing your face with food?” Miguel smirked as he appeared beside you, causing you to flinch slightly in surprise. You pouted and glared up at him before rolling your eyes. 

“This is nothing compared to your sixth helping of this entire table you had a couple minutes ago!” You pointed out. 

“I can’t help it. I’m a growing boy,” Miguel joked, shrugging his shoulders. 

You rolled your eyes again before going back to serving your food. “You want me to get you anything?” 

Miguel shook his head. “Nah. I can grab my own food. I appreciate it, though.”

The kitchen fell silent for a moment. The only thing that could be heard was everything going on on the other side. People were still chattering and laughing, music still booming. Yet, it was dead silent in the kitchen. A sort of tension then filled between the two of you. You could feel your heart beating against your eardrums. 

You were about to open your mouth to say something before you felt Miguel pressing himself against you from behind , but not hard enough to hurt you. You still had some wiggle room to turn around. And you did just as Miguel leaned down closer to you. 

“I hate what you do to me sometimes,” MIguel practically growled as he grabbed you by the arm, squeezing just a bit, but not hard enough to hurt you. 

You looked up at him with wide eyes, caught completely by surprise as you gave him a confused expression. 

“What? What are you talking about?” 

Miguel’s nostrils flared as he exhaled, looking at you with darkened eyes. 

“You make me feel these feelings that I feel like I should not be having.”

“Miguel..I really don’t understand what it is that you’re trying to tell me,” you stated. Which was true. You had no idea what he was talking about or why he was looking at you like that. Yet, you could feel your heart racing a bit. Was it excitement?

Miguel let out a frustrated sigh. He knew he wasn’t making any sense at that moment, but he really did hope you caught on to what he was attempting to spew out. 

He was terrible at explaining things anyway. However, this was the one thing that he didn’t want to be terrible with. 

“Just..come here for a moment,” he said as he pulled you away from the table, pulling you deeper into the kitchen over to a more secluded area. 

He then took your hand and placed it over his heart. Your eyes widened when you felt his heart racing against your palm. 

You then looked back up at him, meeting his eyes. He had those puppy eyes that made your knees buckle. 

“Miguel I-”

“You don’t have to say anything,” he interrupted, shaking his head. “I just..wanted to let you know.Or..let you feel, rather.”

He let go of your hand and took a step back, biting his lower lip. It made your heart skip a beat. 

“Look. I know you may not feel the same. But, I just wanted to let you know. I’ve..been feeling this way for a while. And..I don’t know why I waited this long to tell you. But, seeing how Riley was looking at you the entire time made me feel some type of way. I know you two were somewhat of a thing before and it kinda made me feel a little jealous..” he rambled. He was honestly really cute when he did that. 

He then awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck when you didn’t answer. What were you supposed to say after that? You were completely stunned that you just couldn’t find your voice. 

But, as he began to take a step back, your hand shot forward and you grabbed hold of his wrist, pulling him back closer to you. You were like a robot. You had no control of your limbs or movements. 

Stretching up on your toes, you hooked your arms around his neck, pulling him down closer to you until your lips touched. Again, you had no control of your movements. It was as if your mind had stepped into another room in your brain. 

Miguel’s eyes widened in surprise, obviously stunned by your sudden reaction. However, he quickly shook it off and wrapped his arms around you, pressing you closer to him.

You two kissed for what felt like hours. At one point, he had picked you up and placed you on top of a stack of boxes so neither of you would strain your bodies. 

Eventually, you had to pull away for air. Your cheeks were warm, and your body felt jittery. You couldn’t help but to look away shyly. Yet, Miguel caught your chin with his fingers and had you look up at him. His lips were swollen from your heated kisses. There was also a twinkle in his eye. 

Before you could get a word out, his lips were on your once again. This time, just a little softer. A little sweeter. Gentler. It made you melt into his arms. 

He pecked your lips a couple more times before taking a step back, but never let go of you. 

“Had I known you felt the same I would’ve done that a lot sooner,” he chuckled, giving you a shy smile. 

Your cheeks warmed again and you nodded your head in agreement. “Yeah. Same here.”

He helped you back down, taking your hand in his. 

“Also. Ben and I were never a ‘thing’. I only went out on one date with him. He’s..not really my type,” you shrugged your shoulders, looking up at him with a slight smirk. 

“I like them a little more rugged. Like more..jackass,” you teased. 

Miguel’s jaw dropped for a second before letting out a laugh, shaking his head a little bit. 

“Not sure if that’s something to be proud of,” he pointed out. 

“Didn’t say I was,” you countered with a shrug before grinning up at him. You felt butterflies in your stomach, and you couldn’t help but to feel excited. Stretching back up on your toes, you gave him another peck on the lips. 

Remove his hand from yours, he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you close before grabbing your plate of food from the table. 

“Come on, let’s go sit down so you can eat,” he said as you two made your way out of the kitchen. 

“Oh, by the way. You look great in that outfit,” Miguel complimented. 

“Yeah?” You beamed up at him. You’ve been getting compliments all night. But, you didn’t think you’d get one from Miguel. 

His cheeks turned a little red as he nodded his head. “Yeah. I couldn’t stop staring at you. You’re like a Christmas present. Mind if I unwrap you later?” He then smirked. 

You gasped and lightly smacked him, causing him to burst out laughing. 

“Absolutely not! Pervert!”

Miguel continued to laugh. “I’m just messing with you, muñeca. I’ll wait until Christmas Eve to unwrap you.”

“Miguel!” 

“What are you guys talking about?” Peter suddenly appeared in front of the two of you as you exited the kitchen. His mouth was stuffed with food and was a little red in the cheeks. He may have been just a bit drunk. 

“Nothing.” You and Miguel both said in unison before passing by Peter. 

Still. You couldn’t have asked for a better Christmas gift. Miguel had confessed his feelings to you. And shared a set of kisses with you in the kitchen. It was all surreal. It felt like a dream. 

“Look! It’s snowing!” MJ called out excitedly as she stood by the window. Everyone gathered around the windows to look outside as the snow fell. Including you and Miguel. Your food was now forgotten on the table as he kept his arm wrapped around your waist, the two of you looking outside for a moment as if neither of you had seen snow before. 

“Merry Christmas,” Miguel whispered softly to you. 

“Merry Christmas, Miguel,” you whispered back, leaning against him as you continued to watch the snow fall and coat the streets in white. 

Yeah, this was definitely a Christmas you were never going to forget. 

“Also, if Riley stares at you like that again, I’m going to punch him,” Miguel muttered. 

“Miguel!” 

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[saragarnier]

Away from you

Pairing: jay halstead x reader

Summary: y/n doesn’t know where Jay truly is and she got worried

Warning: angst, slightly smut, cheating,

A/N: i will probably write a part 2, stay tuned!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Next part

You and Jay had been together for three years and everything looked good, at least it was ‘till the end of the march. You didn’t know or understand why he changed his behavior when he was with you, especially since it all happened so quickly and unexpectedly that you just couldn’t understand what happened between you two. From one day, he just started to behave differently, coming home later and telling you that he was just too busy at work, doing some paperwork and getting his things ready for the next shift. He made it looked like he was just trying to impress Voight and for a moment you actually believed him.

You knew how much he wanted to become, one day, sergeant and to be on the lead of his own unit and you just wanted to support him in any ways you could; if he wanted to make a good impression in case of a new sergeant, you wouldn’t have stop him. Actually, it looked like Voight was having some issues lately, from how Jay talked about him after work anyway, and you really trusted him and believed him about his story.

Then, one evening, you decided to go talk with Kim, having some times together and trying to explain to her what you had in mind: Jay’s birthday was closer than you thought and you had to find a good gift for him.

“I need you to help me.” You said to Kim, smiling softly. “Jay’s birthday is in two weeks and i want to surprise him with a two-days holiday. I know that he spends a lot of time at the district doing his paperwork and trying to make a good impression in case of a promotion, but i really need your help. Can you please find a good reason to get him home earlier on Friday’s night?”

Kim was surprised by your statement, not because of the surprise you were preparing for him, but for what you said about him staying at the district till late.

“What do you mean that he spends a lot of time at the district to make a good impression? He always leaves before me, actually he arrives earlier to complete the paperwork he usually leaves at the end of the shift.”

You were confused, you were really confused. What did that mean? If he usually left the district early in the evening, why he came home every night after 11 pm, when you were already sleeping?

“Uhm… he usually doesn’t come home before 11 pm.” You whispered, looking at Kim while your mind raced through all the nights you waited for him to come back home, before falling asleep because of the tiredness of the day at work.

“Y/n, i swear to God that he usually leaves at 7 pm, 8 pm if we’re up to something ‘till late.” Kim said, looking sadly at you, while something you didn’t want to admit passed through her mind.

“But… it doesn’t make sense.” You replied, shaking your head slightly. “What does he do between 7 pm and 11 pm then?”

The girl just shook his head, looking ad you sadly and placing her hand on yours, trying to reassure you in some ways. “Maybe it’s not something you have to worry about, maybe it’s just some stuff he had to do or, maybe, it’s just a bad moment for him. I remember he was like this when he suffered from PTSD.”

You nodded, but it didn’t make sense anyway. You remembered when Jay suffered from PTSD because you were always by his side, you were always there for him and you followed him step after step, trying to help him find his way out of it. It couldn’t be PTSD that time, you would have noticed immediately.

He wasn’t distressed like he was when he suffered from it, he was actually really happy and he was usually calm when he came back home.

It could be PTSD, but what was it then?”

“Sorry Kim, i have to go.” You whispered, looking at your phone and finding out it was just 9:30 pm; you had still plenty of time before he could have been home and you wanted to find out what was happening with your boyfriend, actually with your future husband.

“Don’t worry darling, it’s okay.” Kim whispered, smiling at you. “We’ll see each other soon, okay? Maybe you can come at the district one day and we can talk a little? Also Adam and Kevin missed you, you know. With all the preparations of the wedding, we didn’t see you around in a while.”

“Yeah, when i’m not at work at the hospital, i’m around the city trying some white dresses.” You sighed, wearing your jacket and placing some money on the table, paying for your own drink.

“I can imagine that. Don’t worry, really. I hope to see you again soon.” She smiled softly at you.

“I hope that too. Bye Kim, goodnight.”

You left the bar just ten minutes after and you immediately called the one and only that could have tracked Jay’s phone without a word: Mouse.

When he came back from the army, for the second time, you knew that it would have been difficult for him to start a new life again, especially after the first time. Jay helped him and, after some weeks in which he tried to convince him every single day, Mouse accepted to come back at the intelligence as a tech. It wasn’t an easy decision for him and it was strange at first, but he knew he had no better option and working with his friend was something he missed a lot.

He picked up the phone after the second ring.

“Hi! Look who showed up!” He smiled and laughed. “I was actually asking myself when you would have called me to give me the official invite to your wedding, you know? I would have asked Jay, but he i’m pretty sure is not as much involved in the preparations as you are, so…”

“Mouse, i need your favor.” You told him straight away. “I can’t find Jay and I’m worried. Can you please track his phone and tell where he is? And, can you do that without anyone knowing it?”

It was a strange request, especially since it went from you, but Mouse got it immediately and he started to track Jay’s phone straight away. He was actually scared for his friend, he was scared that Jay got into real trouble, maybe with the ptsd or something liked that, but there was no time for questions. He tracked his phone and he gave her the address after only three minutes.

“Thank you, Mouse. Sorry if i interrupted your evening. I have to go now and, don’t worry, I’ll handle the invite in person, okay?” You said, getting inside the car while looking at the address Mouse gave to you. It could be true, why was he there?

“Don’t worry, no problem at all. I’ll leave you now, i guess you’re busy… just, tell me if anything happened to him, okay?” He replied, making sure that everything was okay, making sure that you would have called him in case of trouble.

“I will, thanks Mouse.”

When he hung up, you started the car and you drove to the location he sent you; why the hell was Jay at his old apartment? Didn’t he sell it?

When you arrived at the location, you parked the car and you got out as soon as you could, going up the stairs and reaching his door just few minutes after. Fortunately, you still knew where he used to hide the key and you went for it, opening the door as silently as you could. The first thing you noticed when you entered was the emptiness of the room: there was nothing there other than some furnishings and still you didn’t understand why Jay was there.

Then, you noticed it.

Then, you noticed them: heels and they weren’t yours.

Your mouth became dry and you stopped breathing properly, trying to find an explanation for what you were seeing. You took some steps forward and your eyes fell on the jeans and t-shirts that were on the floor, all the way up to what it was Jay’s bedroom before he moved out. You took the hallway, starting to hear voices, moans you didn’t want to hear, moans you just wanted to be from your neighbors, even if you knew that they were elderly and it couldn’t have been them. Just at the front of the door, you saw them: panties and Jay’s boxer.

Your brain stopped working, you stopped breathing and your heart almost stopped beating; you just couldn’t understand what was happing, you couldn’t believed it.

You zoned out, like you couldn’t have been there, like you were just in a dream, a bad dream, a really bad one, then you came back to reality when you actually saw and hear them.

“Oh, Jay.” She moaned, begging him. “Please, faster.”

Hailey.

Jay’s partner.

“God, Hails…” Your boyfriend moaned, lowering himself on her to kiss her breast while fucking her. “I… shit… you feel so good around me.”

“Oh, J-Jay!” She moaned louder, unaware of your presence on the frame of the door, where you were watching them, without breathing.

Jay took Hailey’s legs and he put it on his own shoulder, increasing the pace.

“Yes, cum around me, baby. Cum for me, i love you.”

Surprisingly. It wasn’t watching him fucking her that destroyed you: it was his last three words, the same three words he said to you every morning before going to work, the same three words he said to you on the phone when he was to busy at work to come home, even if he was actually heading to his old apartment, when he was able to fuck his partner whenever he wanted to.

You stepped back silently, to broken to face the truth, to heart broken to face him.

You stepped back and you left without saying a word, without make noise; you went back inside your car and only then, when Hailey’s and Jay’s moans were far away from you, you started breathing again.

Tears were streaming down your cheeks from minutes probably, but you couldn’t notice it before and you were to shocked to dry off your tears: you just wanted to add as many distance as you could between you and the man you thought was the love of your life.

You didn’t even went back to your apartment, you couldn’t have handle being again in the house that would have been yours,the house in which you hoped you would have started a family with Jay. You didn’t go back to your apartment to collect all your belongings, you just left.

You left a message to your boss’ office regarding your resignation and you drove away.

Away from Jay.

Away from your apartment.

Away from the life you dreamed of with him.

Away from the love.

Away from the pain.

Away from Chicago.

[naughtyneganjdm]

Love's Second Chance: A Holiday Reunion - Chapter 2

Summary: To distract herself from her loneliness, Y/N throws herself into helping the town finish decorating for Christmas. Since her divorce, Tommy has joined her every year since to help. A minor mishap leads to her running into someone from her past.

Characters: Negan Smith, the reader (OC), Tommy Miller, Joel Miller (mentions), Maria (mentions), etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60501985/chapters/154591387

Warnings: Swearing, angst, depression, sad discussions, etc.

Notes: As promised, I will be posting this story three times a week on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. So, yeah! Here it is. Thanks to those who take the time to read it! There is no Joel in this chapter, but he is talked about a lot. Credit to gif @jdmorganz

It was gut-wrenching waking up to an empty house during Christmas time. Silence was not something that Y/N was used to. Being alone was hard enough throughout the normal part of the year, but during Christmas? It was the worst. Y/N would be lying if she said that it wasn’t getting to her. Depression set in pretty heavy during the holidays when the children were with Joel. Distractions were the only way to make it through. Because sitting in an empty house not having someone to share her time with hurt. And it hurt a lot. That’s why when she could help out around town, she happily did. That way her mind was busy and she didn’t think about the loneliness that ate away at her.

For a few weeks she had been helping to put up the decorations around their small hometown. It was something she had been doing ever since she was a kid, so it just stuck with her. With Christmas only a few weeks away, they were desperate to finish everything off to have everything prepared for their most popular festivities and Y/N was there to help them.

Although, this morning she was a bit late because she had to pick up Tommy to come help her. Every year since Joel and Y/N separated, Tommy always made an effort to come help Y/N when she worked on the decorations. Sometimes she thought Tommy did it out of pity, but she wasn’t going to turn down the extra help. Truthfully? She liked having the company too.

“I don’t know how you always have the energy to do this,” Tommy yawned from where he was standing below her holding onto the ladder that was there. Things would have been done faster if Tommy was helping in other places, but last night there was a storm that came through that made things incredibly slippery. So having Tommy holding onto the ladder kept her safe. “Even after the coffee I feel like a zombie.”

“Maybe if you would have gone to bed earlier, you wouldn’t be so tired,” she teased him, stealing a quick look down at him. His head tipped to the side and his big brown eyes seemed so innocent in the moment. “Staying up all night and then expecting to wake up in the morning with little too no sleep doesn’t work so well when you get to your thirties.”

“Hey,” Tommy frowned when she mentioned his age, wrinkling his nose in frustration. “We don’t have to go there with the age thing. I can handle being up all night.”

“Every time I listen to you talk, I question if you are my children’s age,” Y/N pestered Tommy hearing him scoff from down below. Working to put the lights up, she was very careful and heard Tommy yawning once more. “Then again, you do spend a lot of time with my children and they say that you start acting like the people you are around most often.”

“Then I should be grumpy and energetic at the same time,” Tommy suggested with an amused expression when she looked down at him. That was a slam on Joel and she knew it. It was nice that sometimes Tommy although appreciating his brother’s love toward him could be candid about Joel being grumpy. “Can I be honest with you?”

“You always have been,” she moved down the ladder to help Tommy move it before heading back up to start on the next area.

“I was questioning coming here today. I thought about canceling,” Tommy admitted, brushing his fingers through his longer hair, slicking it back. Grasping tightly to the ladder after, Tommy took a look around and sighed loudly. “But then I remembered a promise I made to you a very long time ago and I intend to keep it.”

“If you didn’t want to come Tommy, you didn’t have to,” she assured him, letting out a strained breath when she reached a little too far and almost fell over. Bracing herself again, she realized that she was thankful he was here because this would have been impossible without him. “You don’t have to keep doing this if you’re no longer interested.”

“Oh no. I’m happy doing it. I like spending time with you,” Tommy insisted with worry in his tone. Tommy’s southern drawl was actually thicker than Joel’s so some of his words came off a bit silly making her smile. “That’s not it at all. You just were right about me being up all night. It’s strange how much y’know me.”

“I helped raise you,” she reminded him with a tiny laugh. “I’d be worried if I didn’t. So what were you doing all night?”

“Honestly? A few weeks ago, after a long night of working with Joel, I stopped into the town diner,” Tommy stammered, his fingers curling tighter around the ladder. A warmth flooded into his face with what he was about to tell her. “It was pretty empty in there, so I sat at the counter. A few seats down was this girl. And we got to talkin’…a lot. After that? We’ve been meeting there every day since. At the same time and everything. Talking all night long. So that’s why I almost cancelled on you. I didn’t want to though, so that’s why I’m here.”

“That’s great Tommy!” she assured him, wanting to give him encouragement with what he was telling her while still focusing on getting the lights up. “I’m glad to hear that.”

“Thanks, but…” Tommy’s words came to a quick halt, an uncomfortable sound escaping his lips. “I reckon this sounds ridiculous, but I’m nervous. See I think she’s amazing. Beautiful. Funny. Smart. I think she’s the woman of my dreams.”

“And what’s the problem there?” Y/N wondered, moving down the ladder again to stand before Tommy who looked uneasy talking about this. “Tommy?”

“Well, I’m me. Everyone in this town knows that I’ve had issues,” Tommy reminded her of his past and the problems that he went through with his mental health. Especially after his parents died and after he came back from the war. “People get into everyone’s business here and I’m a mess. I’m not a good match for anyone.”

“That’s bullshit,” she immediately corrected him, stepping forward to grab a hold of the jacket that he was wearing. Pulling him closer, she stroked her hands over his jacket and heard him laugh. “You’re Tommy Miller. The man with a beautiful soul that wants to do his best to save the world. You’re kind. You’re strong. You’re willing to fight for those who can’t. You have the biggest heart. It doesn’t matter about your hardships. Plus? You have the best hair I’ve ever seen.”

“You had to throw that last line in there,” Tommy snickered with Y/N brushing her fingers through his curvy dark locks. “Sometimes you really do feel like my mother Y/N.”

“A part of me feels like I am. Just minus the whole birthing you thing. I adopted you when I was eighteen, Tommy,” she reminded him, teasing him by grabbing his cheek and giving it a firm squeeze. It had his already reddened cheeks from the cold blushing over more. “So I think I know more than anyone. Other than your brother of course.”  

“I still feel bad that you were forced to do that,” Tommy frowned, reaching out to wrap his arms around Y/N to pull her into his arms to give her a big hug. “You were still a kid yourself.”

“So was Joel when he did it, but it didn’t matter. We were a family and we were going to do whatever it took to keep you safe and with your family,” she reminded him, patting him on the chest knowing that with Joel, they went above and beyond to raise Tommy right. “You know I love you.”

“And I love you too,” Tommy promised her with a wink, looking back over his shoulder again as if he was in search of someone. “Which is why I can open up to you. Joel is not very good with all this stuff. It’s hard talking to him. I usually just get a grunt here or there. And I don’t think he’d be happy with me liking this girl.”

“I think Joel would be glad that you found someone that makes you happy,” she suggested, moving the ladder again with Tommy. “Your brother just isn’t very good with romance. He hasn’t been for a while. Confrontation makes him uncomfortable.”

“The moment the two of you got divorced is the moment I stopped believing in true love,” Tommy confessed to her with a frown. It had her chest aching and she gave him a weak smile. It was sweet to hear that, but hard to believe. “I never thought the two of you would break up.”

She didn’t know what to say. She just pat Tommy on the shoulder and gave him a wink. Moving back up the ladder, she heard Tommy muttering something to himself before speaking up again for her to hear, “You know Maria?”

“The mayor’s daughter?” she looked down to confirm with Tommy who gave her a small nod. “You have a thing going with the mayor’s daughter?”

“Well, it’s not a thing. It’s just, well…I don’t know what to call it,” Tommy slurred, tipping his head from side to side. “We’re talkin’? I guess that’s the best way to put it. But I’d really like it to be a thing. She makes me feel things I didn’t know I was capable of feelin’.”

Considering what he was saying, she understood why Joel might be upset with Tommy being in love with Maria. Tommy got in a lot of trouble when he was younger. And the mayor was not always the kindest to Tommy. There was no doubt that Joel would be worried that if something happened with Maria and Tommy that the mayor would go out of his way to make an example of Tommy.

“Ya see why I’m nervous?” Tommy grumbled under his breath, slightly kicking at the snow.

“Well, the mayor has never really been your biggest fan,” she reminded Tommy who let out an uncomfortable breath. That statement made him more ill at ease and she hated to do that to Tommy. “Tommy, it’s not the mayor you are in love with. It’s his daughter. His adult daughter. If you like her and you want to make something more out of it? Do it. Life is short and happiness is rare. So if you can capture that happiness? Go after it. It’s Maria’s life we’re talking about. Not her father’s.”

“So you think it would be okay for me to ask her out on a date-date?” Tommy inquired making sure to keep the ladder steady when Y/N moved back down it. “You don’t think she would say no? I mean with her father hating me all those years…”

“Tommy,” she got him to focus on her after his eyes had wandered around a little bit. “You are a catch. You are one of the most loving people I have ever known. And you’re telling me this girl is already meeting you every night at the diner. I feel like maybe she already thinks there is something there. Because if she didn’t? She wouldn’t be showing up every night.”

“You think?” Tommy went from looking uneasy and self-conscious to having a smile spreading out over his young features.

“I know,” she gave him a wink feeling the sensation of her phone vibrating in her pocket. Pulling off her glove, she tucked it under her arm and dug inside of her pocket for her phone. Lifting it up, she managed to block out the sunlight just enough to see that it was a text from Elizabeth. Opening it up, she saw that it was two photos of a Santa photo session that she had taken with Joel and Peter. The first one was all smiles and the second was the three of them doing crazy faces while Santa looked scared. It made her smile, but at the same time, it hurt. They started having fun with the photos after Joel divorced her. It was like he was making up for the fact that they were no longer together. Without warning, her phone was pulled from her hand and she felt a breath catch in her throat. “Hey!”

“What is it?” Tommy moved around until he could see the screen to see what it was that had made her unhappy. It had Tommy frowning and he looked back at Y/N to see that she was still upset. “How did I know it had something to do with my brother?”

“It’s nothing,” she tried to dismiss that it was a big deal, but Tommy knew better. “I don’t know, Tommy. It’s just hard seeing those sometimes. That was something we used to do together, but now that’s his thing with the children.”

“Why don’t you ask to be part of it?” Tommy reasoned with her, handing her back the phone. Sending Elizabeth a sweet text, she pushed her phone back into her pocket and shrugged. “It’s only right. You’re their mother.”

“Joel made it clear that he didn’t want that after we got separated,” she explained, pulling her glove back on when she swallowed down hard. “And I respected that. It’s just hard because at first Joel was great with it. You know that. You were in our photos until you were eighteen. But the last few years of our marriage he would always…”

“Bitch?” Tommy finished for her. Reflecting on what Tommy said, she nodded her head. That’s not the words she would use, but it summed it up perfectly.

“He hated doing that. But as soon as we were divorced? He went out of his way for it to be special and fun. It’s his thing now even though I’m the one that started it,” she pointed out, separating the lights better so it would be easier for her to put them up. “I know I shouldn’t be jealous or have my feelings hurt, it’s just hard not being part of something anymore.”

“That’s not how things should be,” Tommy frowned, trying to help her with the lights after seeing her struggling.

“But it’s how they are,” she knew there was no changing it. Over the last four years? This was just the way things had ended up.

“Joel should really be here helping you,” Tommy suggested to her with a shrug of his shoulders. “It was his thing with you. Ever since you were kids.”

“You know he hated this more than he did the Santa photo,” she half laughed and Tommy rolled his eyes. “It was worse getting him out than it is you. And by the time he got here? He let everyone know that he didn’t want to be here. He always helped people out around town, but he let people know that he didn’t like it.”

“Grumpy would probably be the definition of Joel Miller over the last few years,” Tommy spoke up with a half-smile, reconsidering what he actually said when he thought about it. “Maybe decade?”

“Don’t let him hear you say that,” she pat Tommy on the chest and gave him a playful wink.

“Ah, he knows I say what I think all the time. It’s a habit when you’re a Miller,” Tommy retorted, his smile expanding out over his features. “We really have no filtering system.”

“Yeah,” she contemplated what he was saying. Thoughts of the night before flooded her mind which had her getting curious. “Elizabeth said that Joel and Tess broke up a while ago. How did that happen?”

“Yeah, it was…nasty,” Tommy explained, his eyebrows bouncing up showing the tension in his face. When it came to Joel’s love life, she tried to avoid talking about it. Most of the time it upset her. But hearing that they weren’t together anymore? That actually piqued her interest. “I was actually surprised it went so bad because I thought Joel would eventually get married to Tess,” Tommy was rambling off, but quickly stopped when he saw the color drain from her face. “I just mean, they seemed to be really into each other. They were really hot and heavy. I think Tess kicked Joel’s ass a lot when they had sex. He’d walk away with marks a lot of the time. Some nights it was like…”

“Tommy, I really don’t want to hear about Joel’s sex life,” Y/N held her hand up to stop Joel’s younger brother from continuing.

“Of course you don’t. I’m sorry,” Tommy apologized profusely, visibly embarrassed that he let it get that far. “I was just saying. They seemed like a pretty tight couple. The only problem was, Tess wanted more from Joel and he just wasn’t willing to give it. It was the same things I heard from you when you fought with Joel. I guess he never called her his girlfriend. Never told her that he loved her. It’s like Joel turned off his emotions completely when it came to relationships. He’s cold. And that’s what I heard from both you and Tess. She accepted it for a while, but as you know, you can only take so much of being with someone and being lonely before you give up.”

Hearing that made her wonder if she should have felt bad for Tess. Part of her did, the other didn’t. This was the woman that Joel ended up with almost immediately after they got divorced. So for her? It felt like a win, but then again? She knew how hard it was loving Joel. Especially when you got nothing back in return.

“One day, she just picked up and left. Never came back,” Tommy elaborated, his big brown eyes locked on hers. “Joel barely reacted. I thought he would be more bothered over the fact that she left, but he didn’t say much. They fought all the time though. A lot of passion came from Tess, but Joel was muted. Tess was a ball buster. Joel definitely has a type. That’s for sure.”

“I was more of a ball buster when we were younger,” she chuckled at Tommy comparing her to Tess.

“Right. Because my brother made you his bitch,” Tommy blurt out and immediately his hand covered his mouth with a loud slap. Worry flooded his features. He was horrified with what he said. It took a minute for him to gather himself before he slowly lowered his hand. “I am so sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I swear to God.”

“You’re not wrong,” she implied, knowing that she could have been mad, but she wasn’t going to be. “I just became a mom and a wife after a while. I lost a lot of what made me…me.”

“You were always special, no matter what stage of you that you were,” Tommy tried to make up for what he said, but the damage was kind of done. It wasn’t that she was mad at him, she just knew that he was right and that bit hurt. “Joel I think likes to be dominated. He likes to be told what to do. He’s had to be in control for so long that he just wants someone to…”

“Again, I don’t need to hear this,” she cut Tommy off wondering if he was going back into explaining Joel and Tess’s sex life with her. “Joel was always a very dominant person with me.”

“Maybe when he was younger. After he lost everything, I think he just wanted something…I don’t know,” Tommy seemed confused with how to describe his brother. “He had everything and more with you. I don’t know how he didn’t see that. I know you still love him. I don’t know how he could be so stupid. You just wanted him to fight for you sometimes…”

“Tommy,” she paused his train of thought, her chest hurting when she thought about how she felt for Joel. “Your brother has no interest in me. Even when the children talk about the two of us together, he’s quick to shut them down. He doesn’t love me anymore. Your brother hasn’t loved me for a very long time.”

“I think he cares about you,” Tommy slurred, his eyebrows furrowing when he tried to make light of the situation. “He…” there was a pause where Tommy was clearly trying to think of something to make her feel better. Waiting, she realized that he wasn’t coming up with something and she nodded. “I don’t know, Y/N. Joel is weird.”

“Don’t worry about it Tommy, one day this whole thing will get easier. Just, not yet,” she informed Tommy, moving back up to work on the lights again. There was a strong gust of wind that sent a chill throughout her whole body. The ladder wiggled a bit and she looked down to make sure that Tommy was holding onto it.

“Hey,” Tommy blurt out, his eyes now locking on something in the distance when he hesitated, letting go of one part of the ladder. “Maria is over there. Do you think that I should go ask her out on a date? Like a real one?”

“Of course, just give me…” she started only to see that Tommy was swiftly moving away from her while she was trying to finish with the lights that she was putting up in that specific spot. “Tommy!”

Another strong gust of wind filled the air and she realized she needed to get down. This wasn’t going to work. Trying to move down the steps, she felt the ladder slipping out beneath her and attempted to grab onto anything. It must have been the ice that it was slipping on. Even in her best efforts not to fall, her body fell backwards. The only thing for her to fall back on was hard cement. In Tommy’s haste of being excited to ask out the woman he was interested in, he left her to undoubtedly get injured in her fall.

“Jesus,” she gasped, expecting the ground to break her fall only to be surprised that someone caught her before she did. The sound of the ladder hitting the ground was loud, but thankfully she wasn’t hurt. Her adrenaline had just spiked, her heart hammering inside of her chest from the fear of it all.  

“Not quite,” a deep raspy voice pulled her attention away from the ladder. A breath caught in her throat at the familiar set of hazel eyes staring down at her. The strength of the arms squeezed around her and suddenly she felt more comfortable than she should have. “Fuck, I’m back in town ten minutes and you’re already falling for me?”

“Negan,” she whispered, taking a moment to gaze upon the man that her family was talking about only the night before. His long eyelashes fluttered, a small smile tugging at his handsome features when he gave an arrogant bob of his head. “Why are you here?”

“That’s it? Why am I here?” Negan’s nose wrinkled, the sound of amusement coming from his voice. “No thank you for saving my life? You’re my hero Negan?”

“Thank you for saving my life,” she rolled her eyes which was followed by Negan snorting. Carefully he lowered her back down to her feet, still keeping his hands braced over her shoulders to make sure that she was okay. “Tommy just fucking ran away and the wind knocked me down.”

“You really shouldn’t be the one up there doing that anyways,” Negan grumbled under his breath giving the whole set up a scrutinizing look. “This town was always so eager to get up the best of their decorations that they didn’t care how it got done. Tommy should have been the one going up and down. Not you. It was dangerous as it was.”

Silence followed. Y/N was staring at Negan. It had been an extraordinarily long time since she had seen him. The last day she saw him was likely his graduation. Of course she had seen him on the television, in magazines or at the occasional games that they took the children to, but never up close. It became obvious that she was staring at him and she felt a warmth flooding her cheeks.

“God, I’m sorry. I’m staring,” she apologized trying to force herself to look away when Negan’s smile grew twice the size. Arrogance flooded his handsome features with his dimples becoming more prominent knowing that she was locked in on him. “I just can’t believe you are here. It makes me think that I hit my head and I’m imagining this.”

“So if you were dying, you think I would be the person that you would conjure up to help calm you?” Negan rambled, giving her a wink when she groaned out. That was completely like Negan. Nothing much had changed. He just got older and grew a short beard. “I mean, it’s a good thing to picture right before you die. I think a lot of people would do that too.”

“The ego is still strong in you,” she poked at his chest which drew out a deep rumble of laughter from his throat. Almost instinctively, her hand reached up to press in over the side of Negan’s face feeling the coarse hairs of his beard underneath her fingertips. The last time she saw Negan, he had no facial hair. His face wasn’t nearly as chiseled as it was now. There were no lines in his face. Now he kept himself incredibly groomed whereas in the past he would often let his hair grow to the point of slicking it back out of his eyes. Back then he was a boy. Now? He was a man. And a very good-looking man at that. Time had done well for him. He was cute and charming when they were younger. Now? He was incredibly sexy and made time his bitch. The only thing that remained the same were his very prominent dimples that always charmed her. Just now they took her breath away with every big flashy smile he gave her. “God, you look so different.”

“And you look exactly the same,” he gave her a wink, mimicking her hand movement to brush his thumb in over her jawline. It had a chill flooding through her veins and she gave a weak smile. Maybe this was a poor reaction to seeing this man again for the first time. It was too forward. Blunt. But this was someone that she had been so close to in the past standing right before her again after so many years.

“I’m sorry. I was looking at photos of you yesterday so this is just weird for me,” she lowered her hand from his face seeing the intrigue that flooded into Negan’s features. “I don’t mean that in a weird creepy way. I know it sounds like it is. My daughter and her friends just have the biggest crush on you. And it was weirding Joel out. He mentioned us being good friends with you when we were younger and she didn’t believe him, so he was showing her pictures…”

“Ah, Joel Miller. How is the husband doing?” Negan stammered, dragging his hand away from her, taking a firm step backwards. Getting a good look at Negan now, she realized that he was dressed in mostly black. He was wearing black boots, a black pair of slacks and a long black coat that covered most of his chest. It just revealed a black sweater that he was wearing that had a white undershirt beneath it giving it a slight contrast of color. Pushing his hands into his pockets, Negan’s dimples immediately drew her attention when he smiled.

“Well,” she considered what to say next feeling her throat tensing up. Why wouldn’t she be honest in this moment? Lying to Negan would do nothing for her in the long run. “He’s not my husband anymore. We’ve been divorced for three years and separated for four.”

“Oh,” Negan’s lips parted, his mouth turning into a small o-shape as if he felt bad for saying it like that. The charismatic attitude was soon replaced with empathy and that surprised her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know that.”

“Why would you? There is no reason for you to apologize,” she refused to have him feel bad for that. Lifting her hand she showed that she was no longer wearing her rings and shrugged her shoulders. What could she really say? She wasn’t about to have a meltdown about it in front of Negan. So instead she tried to blow things off with a joke. “Divorce is the number one killer of marriage.”

“Right,” Negan snorted, his head lowering in amusement. Just the sight of his smile caused her heart to skip a beat. How was it that his dimples were even more attractive now than they were when they were young?

“What about Lucille?” she questioned noticing the way that Negan’s eyebrows bounced up, his Adam’s apple tensing in his throat when he gazed her over. “I know the two of you were married since my daughter knows…a lot about you.”

“She uh…she passed away,” Negan paused, his face tensing up when he reached for something around his neck. Pulling it out from beneath the shirt, Negan stepped forward and she realized that it was a necklace. At the bottom of it were three rings. Immediately she regretted her joke and felt horrible for asking. Mortified would be an understatement. “Cancer. The second leading cause of killing marriages.”

“Jesus Negan,” she felt immediately embarrassed seeing the way he shrugged his shoulders. Now she regretted making a joke. There was some color that flooded into his face and guilt started to eat away at her. “I feel like the biggest fucking asshole in the world right now. I am so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Negan hushed her, lifting his right hand to wave it about. “You didn’t know. I don’t know how much you pay attention to things. I tried keeping my private life, well, private. Fucking tried at least. I was never really very public about my life. So maybe your daughter didn’t even know. And I shouldn’t expect you to know because we haven’t talked in so fucking long. We’re pretty much strangers.”

“Shit,” she felt terrible for everything and just wished the world would swallow her whole right now. “I wish I wouldn’t have said what I did. It’s the first time I’ve seen you in so long and I made an ass of myself. In multiple ways.”

“Fuck, don’t worry about it. I’m just happy that I was walking by just at the right time to catch you,” Negan gave her a wink, and in that moment he noticed that she looked worried. “What is it?”

“You’re hurt. Your knee,” she pointed down and it had an amused expression flooding into Negan’s features. “I probably just hurt you more by having you catch me. I can’t believe…”

“Some knee pain is better than watching someone I knew and cared for smashing their skull against the cement,” Negan stepped forward to place his finger in over her lips to silence her worries. Shaking his head, he gave her a wink before letting out a long sigh. “I’m back in town visiting my mother for the holidays. It’s my second Christmas without Lucille and my mother thought it would be for the best if I came home to see my family for the holidays. And with me being injured, I thought it would be a good idea too. Come home. Rest it out.”

“That makes sense,” she acknowledged, not saying much because she didn’t want to make an ass of herself again. Things felt strange now as she rocked on her feet in front of Negan. All she could focus on was just how good he looked. Suddenly she felt very out of place knowing that she just kind of rolled out of bed this morning. “I guess I should let you get back to what you were doing. I don’t want to keep you tied up all day.”

“Well, I got here early,” Negan stated with a tip of his head, looking beyond them to see the coffee shop that was in the distance. “How about you and I get some coffee together? We can catch up a little bit before I have to head to my mother’s place?”

“I mean,” she looked back at the lights that were kind of just dangling there still. Right now she really didn’t feel like climbing back up that ladder again after almost dying. “Sure, that would be nice. Coffee sounds good.”

“Ma’am,” Negan held his arm out, a small snickering sound fell from his lips when she accepted his arm. It was as if Negan had picked up on the fact that there was a small sheet of ice over the ground and he was trying to help keep her from falling. Again. Once they got to the coffee shop, Negan held the door open for her and she was impressed with the chivalry. The only problem? When Negan entered the coffee shop, the few people that were in there went a little nuts upon seeing them. Immediately people were drawn to him and she understood why. Negan was a celebrity. And not only that, he was a hometown hero celebrity. So she took a step back while people asked for selfies with him and let it happen. Eventually he ordered his coffee and reached for her hand to pull her up beside him. “Go ahead. I’ll pay for this.”

“You don’t have to do that,” she denied at first, not wanting to seem like the kind of person that would take advantage of him. But the glare Negan gave her? She knew that one well. So she gave in. Placed her order and let him go ahead with wanting to buy her one. When the barista came back with their coffees, Negan attempted to pay, but she pushed the drinks forward to them insisting that they were on the house. With that, Negan left what he would have been paying in the tip jar and led Y/N toward the back of the coffee shop where there was a table that was hidden for them to have some privacy. “Wow, that was…”

“Intense. I’m sorry,” Negan shook his head, apologizing over the fact that people interrupted them by asking for photos. It seemed to have embarrassed him that it happened in front of her while they were together.  

It should have been something that he was proud of. Having people look up to him like that? It was a good thing. Not a bad one.

“No, don’t apologize. You worked hard for all of that. Soak it in,” she stated with a firm shake of her head, surprising him that she wasn’t at all upset about the whole thing. “It’s nice just getting to see you Negan. There is no reason for me to be upset. It’s been a long time.”

“I’m sorry about that,” Negan apologized again. It was strange how many times he had already done that since she had first seen him. And there was nothing to keep apologizing for. Stroking his hand across the top of the table, Negan seemed tense until he started speaking up again. “I have to be honest with you Y/N, I’m surprised to see you here. No one wanted to leave this town more than you did. You had dreams of the big city. I remember you wanted to travel the world, photograph it all and you wanted to be a big-time journalist.”

“Yeah, well, life has a way of making you realize that what you want isn’t always what you’re going to get,” she declared which seemed to have Negan biting at his cheek. There was an expression in his eyes that showed he had sympathy for her and she didn’t know if she wanted it. “When I had Elizabeth, the plans kind of changed. I’m just…I’m someone who does data entry at home. I get to work remote and sometimes I have to go into the office, but rarely.”

“And Elizabeth is your daughter?” Negan confirmed having Y/N nod, stroking her fingers over the paper coffee cup that her drink was in. “How old is she again?”

“Seventeen,” Y/N felt old telling Negan that, but her answer made him smile and nod. “I also have a son named Peter. He’s thirteen.”

“Peter,” Negan repeated the name, his smile expanding out over his features. “Elizabeth and Peter. Well, Joel certainly picked out those names, didn’t he?”

“What do you mean?” she half-laughed watching Negan tip his head from side to side considering his next comment.

“Well, I remember growing up what you wanted to name your children if you had any. Elizabeth and Peter were not any of the names that you wanted,” Negan recalled which had her dropping her head, a small smile tugging at her lips. Of all the things that Negan remembered, she didn’t think something like that would be something he kept with him. “What?”

“I just can’t believe you remember those conversations,” she claimed, her heart fluttering a bit that Negan still remembered so much about her. “But yeah. Those were names that Joel picked. It’s suits them though. Joel calls Elizabeth Ellie. He always has. She’s of course getting to the age where she wants to be called…”

Seeing that Negan’s attention was locked on her had her sighing loudly, “You don’t want to hear about this. I’m sorry. I’m just a boring working-class mother. I’m not interesting. At all. I wish I had the life that I wanted when I was younger so I could impress you, but I don’t.”

“Don’t say that,” Negan hushed, reaching out to place his hand in over hers. The warmth of his touch was very much welcomed, even though she didn’t know if she should be taking it or not. “I think you’re very interesting. And I’d love to hear about your children. It’s been a long time. I don’t expect you not to talk about your life to me after this long.”

“It’s just a little embarrassing to basically tell you I got pregnant the year after you graduated,” she suggested feeling the sweep of Negan’s thumb over the back of her hand. “You went out, became this huge celebrity and followed your dreams. I got pregnant at seventeen, had my baby at eighteen and I’ve just been doing my best to keep my head over the water.”

“You’re embarrassed by that?” Negan wondered seeing her shrug and he could tell that it made her uncomfortable. “Being a mother is the hardest job in the world. If you are capable of doing it? I think that’s impressive. So don’t be embarrassed. You’re not going to get me looking down on you. Ever.”

“Thank you,” she cleared her throat knowing that she felt small sitting before the man she used to consider her best friend. “I did call you a few times. Well, a very long time ago. I understand why you didn’t answer. You were busy and…”

“I should have answered,” Negan interrupted her, his thick eyebrows furrowing showing that he was disappointed with himself. “I’m sorry.”

Silence followed, her eyes looking down to see that Negan’s thumb was still caressing over the back of her hand, “I missed you.”

Something changed in Negan’s expression. He lowered his head, his fingers squeezing tighter to hers before he shrugged, “I missed you too.”

“It’s hard going through life without your best friend,” she suggested feeling a bit emotional knowing that she never really understood what happened to have Negan drop her so quickly in the past. Especially after all they had gone through. “I’m so proud of you though. You accomplished everything you wanted to. Rookie of the year? MVP how many times? You’ve done amazing, Negan.”

“And it’s all coming to an end,” Negan frowned, looking down toward his knee knowing that even though he still felt like he was capable of so much more, his body wouldn’t allow for it. Lifting Y/N’s hand up, he pressed a kiss over the back of her hand and gave her a wink. “Thank you though.”

They both went quiet. It got very serious there for a moment and Negan picked up on it when he reached with his free hand to grab his coffee to take a sip, “So what happened with Joel? I remember he got a full ride to college for the football.”

“Oh, he uh. He had to turn it down. His parents died during the summer in an accident. He had the choice of letting Tommy go into foster care or staying to take care of him and he stayed. Then I got pregnant with Elizabeth and it just didn’t work out for him,” she told Negan about their lives knowing that it was nowhere near as interesting as his life. “He just took on his dad’s business and became a contractor. He runs the business and Tommy works for him. I was a stay-at-home mom for a while until I could go to night school at college to get my degree and then my friend from college got me a job that I’ve stayed with until this day. We’re both worried about Elizabeth because she scares the hell out of us. She’s almost the age I was when I got pregnant, but she’s…she’s smarter than me. And safer. And I don’t think she’s dating anyone really. She seems to be attracted to older men, which isn’t good, but, it’s not bad either because then it means that she’s not going to get pregnant like I did and…”

Damn. She was doing it again. She was rambling. But by the look on Negan’s face, it wasn’t upsetting him. In fact, he looked enamored with her. A rush of warmth flooded into her face and she laughed, dropping her head down, “God, I’m sorry.”

“Stop,” Negan demanded with a raspy laugh himself. “I don’t mind you talking to me. It’s okay. You don’t have to think you’re talking too much. We’re fitting like, what? Nineteen years of missed time in here. So I don’t mind.”

“I know, you just are the more interesting one and here I am talking your head off,” she chastised herself which had Negan smiling. “You probably have better things to do than listen to me go off about my family and my children.”

“I don’t. And this is better than anything else I had planned,” Negan tried to suggest, squeezing her hand again reminding her all over how he had been holding onto her hand this whole time. But she kind of liked it. “I’ve picked up on the fact that your daughter has good taste. You love your kids and Joel is…an idiot.”

“Why is that?” she was amused to hear Negan say that.

“Because he’s not with you,” he countered quickly which had her feeling a sense of awe over him saying it. “I really thought the two of you would be together forever. Knowing that you’ve been apart for four years? That surprises me.”

“Well, life happens,” she didn’t know what else to say. She wasn’t about to vent to Negan just what it was that had her marriage crumbling down all around her. That wasn’t something he needed her to dump onto his lap as well. “We just became different people.”

“Hmmm…” Negan looked her over before shaking his head. “You seem still very much like you.”

“Minus the fire,” she thought aloud, noticing the way his eyebrow arched.

“Nah, that fire is there. I see it. Maybe it’s just hidden behind a few walls, but it’s there,” he winked hearing her chuckle beneath her breath before shaking her head. “Don’t think so poorly of yourself. You were always one of my favorite people Y/N. Don’t sell yourself short.”

“Negan goddamn Smith,” a voice boomed, shocking Y/N when she pulled her hand back and away from Negan who made a shocked expression looking to the side. “I thought that was you, you asshole.”

“Tommy fucking Miller,” Negan got up slowly from his seat, walking across to accept a hug from Tommy. “How are you doing brother? It’s been a long time?”

“Not as good as you,” Tommy leaned back, smacking playfully at the side of Negan’s face making him snort. “Look at how much older you look.”

“Hey now, you may have the same face, but you don’t look like the thirteen-year-old I last saw either,” Negan joked, pushing into Tommy’s shoulder. Lifting his hand up, he swirled his fingers into Tommy’s long hair. “Look at you pretty boy. Growing up into a man and everything.”

“I see Y/N found you and snatched you up,” Tommy followed Negan back over to the table, a big smile tugging at his features when he sat in beside Y/N who suddenly felt out of place. “Shit Negan. I can’t believe I’m seeing you. The big-time sport’s star that everyone in this town loves.”

“Well, I am retiring,” Negan reminded Tommy who rolled his eyes and scoffed. “I am!”

“Come on,” Tommy threw his hand up hearing Negan sigh loudly. “You are one tough son of a bitch. I’m supposed to believe that you aren’t going to nut up and just keep going?”

“As you said, I’m getting old dickhead,” Negan winked hearing Tommy burst out into laughter. There was amusement in Y/N’s features and when Negan noticed it, he gave her a big smile. “I was just catching up with Y/N here and she was telling me about the kids.”

“Did she tell you what a saint she is?” Tommy stressed, reaching out to wrap his arm around Y/N to give her a big squeeze. “This girl adopted me at eighteen. Had a baby of her own but took care of fifteen-year-old me to make sure I had a good life at home. She’s an amazing girl. A great mom and she bakes like you would not believe.”

“Oh yeah?” Negan’s interest suddenly was taken. Placing his hand over his chest, Negan made a dramatic expression. “I myself love to cook. So if someone has that same passion? Well, I’m immediately interested in learning more.”

“She’s a magic worker this one. Makes the best sugar cookies I’ve ever had,” Tommy declared with another big smile, squeezing her uncomfortably close to his chest. “I always tell Joel what an idiot he was for letting her slip through his fingers. If it wasn’t creepy, I would have gone for her because she is so special.”

“Okay Tommy. You’re laying it on thick,” she found amusement in the way that Tommy was describing her, but he didn’t care. He just gave her a small nudge with his shoulder before going back to talking with Negan.

Quickly Tommy got to talking to Negan about baseball and Negan answered his questions. Listening to them was amusing. She did actually know what they were talking about since Joel, Elizabeth and Peter all loved baseball. But instead of adding to the conversation, she just sat back and listened. Finding it cute that the two of them were eager to catch up.

After a while, Tommy looked to Y/N noticing that she was just sitting there listening to the two of them, “I reckon I just hijacked your conversation, didn’t I?”

“I’m loving it,” she stated with a small smile hearing Negan snorting and she shrugged. “I was talking too much anyways.”

“Not enough in my opinion,” Negan gave her a wink, his nose wrinkling in amusement. Taking a sip of his coffee, Negan got more comfortable in his seat and bit down on his bottom lip. “I know you know sports just as much as the boys do.”

“Yeah? So? Let Tommy get his time in with you. The boy looked up to you growing up,” she reached out to pat Tommy on the chest having his cheeks flushing over with warmth. “We’re both happy to see you, Negan.”

A vibration pulled her attention away from the two of them. Digging into her pocket, she saw that it was Elizabeth calling her and it made her sigh, “Give me a minute boys. My daughter is calling.”

Getting up from the table, she noticed that Negan’s hazel eyes followed her across the coffee shop as she made her way outside to answer her phone.

“Hey sweetheart,” she leaned back against the brick wall, letting out a long sigh. “Those photos you took looked really nice. It looks like you had fun.”

“It wasn’t so bad,” Elizabeth claimed, her young voice flooding from Y/N’s phone. “The guy they have as Santa this year is from the next town over and he was a lot of fun. I wish you would have been here with us to take the photo.”

“Me too,” Y/N was honest with her daughter. She missed doing those things as a family. It made her feel extraordinarily left out. Rosita had suggested to her in the past that she should also do photos with the children for Christmas, but part of Y/N assumed that Joel would get upset because that was his thing with them. Especially since they used to have fights like that in the beginning of their separation.

“That’s kind of why I’m calling you,” Elizabeth spoke up, taking time to explain to her mother what was on her mind. “Dad decided that we should go to that old village we used to go to when we were younger. You know the one that does the Christmas event with the fireworks? My friends were going to it and I thought it would be cool to go too.”

“Oh, that’s great honey,” Y/N commented feeling a sense of jealousy hearing that. That was another thing they did as a family. The place that Elizabeth was talking about was a place that her, Joel and Negan all worked at when they were younger to make cash on the side. So they were always going to that Christmas event with the children. Although, the last two years of their marriage, Joel had been working late on a project that had him missing it so they hadn’t really gone in over six years. “I’m glad to hear that your dad is taking you. When are you going?”

“Tonight. But, dad spoke to the guy in charge who still remembered him. So he gave dad a bunch of free tickets. We both get to bring a friend,” Elizabeth continued on, “but we have one other ticket and dad said I should call you to ask if you wanted to go.”

“Is that something your dad really wants?” Y/N inquired, surprised to hear that Joel wanted her to be involved with their Christmas activities since the previous years he made sure to leave her out.

“Well he’s the one that suggested it mom,” Elizabeth declared with a sigh and it had Y/N shifting on her feet. “Both Peter and I want you to come. This goes back to the whole being a family again thing. At least, this is the closest we can get to it being like the old days again.”

“You both begged your dad, didn’t you?” Y/N insisted hearing the silence that followed and it made her smile. “That’s a yes.”

“Well he didn’t say no,” Elizabeth pointed out with a dramatic tone. “He’s the one that insisted I call you right now so you can prepare to come with us tonight. Dad will pick you up at five, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Y/N smiled realizing that she wasn’t about to really be given a choice, but ultimately her choice would have been the same. She missed being with her family for Christmas, so it wasn’t like she was going to turn it down. “I’ll be ready to go by five.”

“Perfect,” Elizabeth seemed happy and excited on the other end, which was a good thing in Y/N’s mind. At least her children still wanted to spend time with her and that’s what mattered the most. “We’ll see you then. Make sure you dress warm. It’s supposed to snow tonight.”

“I will,” Y/N assured her daughter having a warmth flood her body knowing that she wouldn’t be alone tonight. The idea of going to this actually made her happy. Too often she got used to being alone, but it didn’t feel good. Now she had something to look forward to in being with her children. “I love you honey.”

“Love you too mom,” Elizabeth got out before they ended their call.

As Y/N was pushing her phone back into her pocket, she saw that Negan was walking out of the coffee shop and once his eyes locked with hers he gave her a big, charming smile.

“Got sick of Tommy?” she teased with Negan stepping before her. Having Negan leaving the coffee shop that quick shocked her. Especially since they wanted to catch up and they really hadn’t done much of it.

“Not at all. There were some people that asked for photos and then the mayor came in,” Negan pointed back toward the coffee shop. Hearing that made Y/N wonder how Tommy responded and she looked to the door to check if Tommy was coming out. “The mayor asked me to go somewhere with him to take some photos, but Tommy is talking to him right now so I figured I would find you before you could run off.”

“Well, you found me,” she gave him a half smile causing Negan’s eyebrow to arch in amusement. Disappointment flooded her veins knowing that someone else was taking Negan away from her being able to catch up with him. “What’s up?”

“I want us to spend more time together than this,” Negan announced pointing toward her pocket where she just put her phone. “I was hoping that maybe you could give me your phone, I’ll put my number in and then in two days you can let me take you to dinner. That way we can actually have time to talk. Just the two of us.”

“That’s something you want to do?” she thought aloud, almost blurting it out. Holding his hand out further, Negan waited for her to give him her phone. Obeying, she placed it in his hand drawing him to smirk. Damn, there were those dimples again. “I’m sure you’re going to be busy. You don’t have to take time for me.”

Working with her phone, Negan put in his number and then sent himself a text so he would have her number on his phone. Holding her phone out to her had Y/N accepting it and Negan cleared his throat, shifting his weight from his heels then toward the tips of his toes.

“I want to take time for you,” Negan informed her, a muscle at the corner of his jaw flexing. Hearing that actually made her happy. “I’m glad that we ran into each other.”

“Technically, I fell into your arms,” she reminded him and it had his deep raspy laughter filling the air.

“You’re not wrong,” Negan agreed, biting down on his bottom lip. Reaching back, he stroked his fingers over his neck and shrugged. “When we have our dinner, don’t be afraid to talk to me this time. I’m still Negan. Not much has changed.”

“So much has changed,” she refused that statement with a shake of her head. Parting his lips, Negan looked like he wanted to say something more, but stopped himself. A single nod from him told her that he wasn’t going to bicker with her about it. “But I will try to relax.”

“Good, because I want to listen to you talk,” Negan clarified how he felt about things, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat. “We used to stay up all night talking about things. And those are the days that I miss. I’d like to bring a little bit of that back into my life again.”

“I’m sure your life is filled with very interesting people,” she guessed, realizing how small she probably was in comparison to the other people that he knew in his life. It was safe to say that her self-esteem wasn’t the best right now. So selling herself short? That was something she did quite often as of the last few years.

“But none of them are you,” Negan stressed with a nod of his head. Stepping forward, Negan lowered down. Pressing in closer to her, his lips deposited a kiss against her cheek. Closing her eyes tightly, she realized that the gesture lingered. The warmth from Negan radiated against her flesh and it took her breath away. It had been so long since someone had showed her any kind of affection. Backing away slowly, Negan’s eyes gazed over her and she felt her heart skip a beat with how close he actually was to her.

“Negan,” the sound of someone calling out to him broke their attention on one another. Stealing a glance back over his shoulder, Negan feigned a smile when he realized that it was the mayor calling out to him. Looking back to Y/N, Negan felt guilty that he was taking off on her so quickly. Backstepping toward the mayor, Negan hummed to himself and pointed at her. “I’ll pick you up at eight the night we go out. And I’ll send you a text just to remind you. So you don’t forget.”

“I’ll see you then,” she responded with a shallow breath still feeling the sensation of his kiss over her cheek. When Negan left, Y/N watched Tommy push open the door of the coffee shop. He looked panicked as he headed back over toward her. “If it isn’t the man that almost killed me today.”

“I…what?” Tommy was at a loss for words when she folded her arms out in front of her chest. Even though she was happy to see him interacting with Negan like he was previously, she was still irritated with him for taking off on her earlier. While it didn’t end badly, it sure as hell could have. “You almost died?”

“I would have likely ended up in the hospital with brain damage if Negan hadn’t caught me,” she recalled and it had Tommy’s dark eyes growing wide. Her getting hurt wasn’t even a thought for him when he left earlier. “You left when I was on the ladder and it slipped.”

“I didn’t even think,” Tommy swore reaching out to place his hands in over her shoulders to try to comfort her. “I’m so sorry. I just saw Maria and I wanted to talk to her so bad.”

“I hope you at least asked her out? Because then me dying almost feels like a waste if you didn’t,” she huffed and it had the beginning of a smile tugging at Tommy’s features. By the expression over his face she could tell that he was happy which meant he did get that date. “That’s my boy.”

“I’d love to take credit for it,” Tommy moved in beside her to hook his arm around her shoulders, “but she asked me first. I was trying to ask her, but when I ran into her I think she picked up on my nervousness. We’re going to be having dinner tonight.”

“A woman that takes charge. That’s exactly what you need,” she joked with Tommy, reaching out to grab his jaw to give it a playful squeeze. “I’m going with Joel and the kids tonight to that Christmas event at the old historical village we used to work at. So we both need to get those lights up.”

“You’re going out with Joel and the kids tonight?” Tommy seemed shocked to hear that. And really? She didn’t blame him. There had been such a big wedge between her and Joel for so long that them actually spending time together with the children sounded strange. “Maybe Joel is getting his shit together after all.”

“I think the children begged him,” she wasn’t so certain that it was as much Joel wanting her there as much as it was the children irritating him to ask her. “But I’m glad I’m going because it gets lonely at night without the children there. I can only bother Rosita so many times before Siddiq gets sick of me stealing his fiancée.”

“This is a good thing,” Tommy led her back toward where they were last together noticing that the lights were just hanging from the building and he frowned. “You’re gonna make me go up there now, aren’t you?”

“I sure am,” she nodded toward the ladder hearing Tommy groan in response. “But don’t worry, unlike you, I’m not going to run away the second I get sights at something more interesting.”

----

Tags: @chainsawsangel @fancypeacepersona @violent-darkness @negansbestie @elegantfanficluv

@sanctuaryforthelost @dead-of-niight @dilfsandmartinis

[yelenasdiary]

Maybe for Fluff Friday. Any chance of seeing maybe y/n overworking herself to the point of exhaustion, forgetting to get her vaccines and ending up with the flu but insists on working through. Cue Natasha stepping in to take care of her to the surprise of the team since Nat’s been cold towards her ever since she joined the Avengers not long ago?

Holiday Spirit

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Avenger! Reader (Platonic)

Summary: Christmas was approaching and with the stress of being an Avenger and trying to remember to keep up with things outside of work such as vaccinations, you became sick with the last person you thought would take it soon themselves to take care of you.

Warnings:Fluff/Comfort, No Warnings | 1.1K

AC:Something a little different for the holidays! Thank you for sending this 🥰

Holiday Special Masterlist

It wasn't like you to forget to keep up with your vaccinations but this year just slipped through your fingers, apparently there were more aliens wanting to threaten earth than ever before. You were able to get most yearly vaccinations but missed one that you now wish you didn't forget. 

With Christmas just a week away, you come down with the flu. Body aches, blocked nose, headaches, fever, sore throat, chills, congestion & fatigue all rolled into one, taking its toll on you, but you swore not to let it stop you from doing your job. Since joining the Avengers, you've worked your arse off in training and missions to prove yourself to the team. Everybody loved and trusted you, there wasn't any reason to prove yourself but you never felt like everybody was on board with you joining the team. 

Natasha Romanoff, aka, Black Widow. She was rather cold towards you, sly looks thrown your way whenever you spoke up in mission briefings, barely taking to you whenever working together and would often leave the room shortly after you entered. Everybody told you that Nat just takes some time to warm up, to adjust to a new member and that she'd come around eventually but that was well over six months ago and you were sure the assassin just simply didn't like you. 

You started your day with a hot mug of tea, something you always enjoyed better whenever you were sick, you had some oatmeal for breakfast before hitting the gym for a very slow and painful training session before taking a hot shower that felt like heaven on your aching body. Next it was time to catch up on a load of mission reports that you'd been too busy to get too, you made another tea and made yourself as comfortable as you could be in the compounds study. 

It wasn't long until your eyes got heavy and you were struggling to keep your head up, weak and tired you began to feel how exhausted and burnt out your body was. Natasha had watched you all morning, following her eyes at your stupidity for not spending the day in bed. She noticed that you hadn't eaten since breakfast and decided to make you something. 

"Since when did you cook something that wasn't microwaveable?" Clint asked when he saw Natasha stirring a large pot of soup on the stove. Nat rolled her eyes, "Y/n's sick" she replied. Clint frowned slightly, "so you're making them soup?" He asked.

"Soup helps, they're sick, pretty sure it adds up" the assassin spoke rather bluntly.

Clint quickly picked up that Nat wasn't open for discussion on the topic, she had never expressed her thoughts about you besides the fact she didn't think the team needed a new member but Clint knew that Natasha was impressed with your skills, she just wouldn't admit it. 

"Okay, enough of that, get up" you heard Natasha's voice behind you. 

"Huh? Oh, no, I have so much left to do" you replied, trying to shake the tiredness in your voice. 

"You're not doing anybody any favours by working yourself to the ground. You're sick, you've got the flu. Let your body rest" she explained before placing a bowl of hot soup in front of you, "eat this then it's off to bed" she added. You felt rather confused on her odd behavior, why out of everybody did Natasha care that you were sick? 

"Thanks Nat, I really appreciate this but I'm not really hungry" you slightly pushed the bowl to the side. 

"You've barely eaten, this isn't up for discussion" Natasha replied sternly, her arms crossed over her chest. From what you could smell through your stuffy nose, the soup smelt delicious and made your stomach grumble. You looked up at Natasha who wasn't going to take no for an answer, grabbed the spoon and started eating. 

The warm goodness hitting the back of your throat gave an almost instant relief to your swollen tonsils and it had just enough spice to it that you felt your nose begin to run. Natasha handed you a tissue and placed some cold and flu tablets on the table before taking a seat on the armchair in the corner of the room. She watched to make sure you eat everything you could that was in the bowl. Wiping your mouth on a fresh issue, you looked over to the redhead. 

"Thank you, I guess I really needed that" you smiled softly. 

"Your body needs rest, why are you fighting that?" Natasha asked.

"I've never left a silly cold get the better of me, besides I have things I need to catch up on" you explained but Natasha could see through your words. 

"You've already earned your spot in the team y/n, you don't have to prove yourself" she spoke, your eyes dropped to the unfinished mission report in front of you. 

"But I do" you replied, "to you, I do" you added. Natasha frowned at your honesty, "you have nothing to prove to me, not anymore" 

Slowly, your eyes looked up at her trying to read if she was just saying that to make you feel better. "You've ignored everybody telling you to stay in bed and recover, you've ignored your body's need for rest, you put everything else before yourself. You work hard, you train hard, you don't leave anybody behind, for once, let somebody take care of you" the assassin went on. 

"If I'm being honest, Nat, I've always felt like you don't like me or even what me on the team" you replied before blowing your nose and downing two tablets, washing them down with water. 

"Maybe it's just holiday spirit from all the decorations you and Wanda put up but, I don't hate you. I worried that maybe the team wasn't a good fit for you, that you could be off enjoying your life, but I was wrong and I'm sorry that I made you feel that way. Now will you please just go get some rest?"

Your eyes dropped back to the mission report once more, sighing as you felt defeat. "The reports will still be there when you're better" Natasha reminded you as she stood up, her hand reaching for yours, "I'm not taking no for an answer" she added. 

——

"Whoever made this needs to make it again!" Steve commented before taking another mouthful of soup, Tony nodded in agreement. 

"Nat made it for Y/n" Clint replied, cleaning one of his newly made arrows. 

"Yeah right" Thor chuckled, Tony agreeing with him. 

"Have you seen Y/n all afternoon?" Clint asked the others with a raised brow, they shook their heads, "Nat made them go to bed, she's out right now getting other things for them" the archer added. 

"Sounds like Natasha finally found some holiday spirit" Wanda smiled softly.

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[sheepispink]

⋆˚｡⋆୨✧୧˚ 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑬𝑺𝑪𝑶𝑹𝑻 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑻𝑶𝑪𝑶𝑳 ˚୨✧୧⋆｡˚⋆

Series Masterlist

Chapter 1: First Impressions

wc: 2.7k

It’s been three months since you first started your job at the division of security operations, a dream you’ve had since you were little. You’ve always wanted to be part of something meaningful, even if you were just a small function in the code. Speaking of code, you hoped to be on the technological side of things, never having really been a hands-on person—well, at least not confrontational hands-on like this job requires. You’d figured it was the perfect choice; what job wasn’t desperate for another programmer? The research you did on this place was insane; you wanted to make the best impression and land a job straight out of university, and your hard work paid off because pretty soon you got that letter. It was an assistant position for some random manager. Okay, maybe it wasn’t exactly what you hoped, but everyone started somewhere. Besides, experience gets you places you were sure you’d learn something in the time you spent working under them. Right?

Wrong. You rock back and forth on your chair for the third time that hour, absolutely bored out of your mind like a little kid restrained from toys. Sorting out the filing cabinets was suddenly the least of your problems when they gave you access to at least a hundred emails to read through. Not to mention your manager practically gave you permission to respond to them however you see fit (not without a glare and warning if you said something stupid, though). Every day you clicked a stupid delete button, the more you started wondering if this was an internship or just absolute hell. Once you hear your manager’s footsteps approaching again, you sit back up with a long sigh, knowing you could either continue this work or sit in a toilet stall and play games on your phone. The latter was looking more tempted by the second, but you quickly reminded yourself that you’re 23 now, and this is work! Clicking on the first email, you’re quick to delete another empty report from an intern.

Your eyes flitter over the next few emails, clicking away mindlessly before you pause..an escort is needed? Only two emails in, and this one seems a little different from the usual data assignment in an Excel document. This one was addressed by another manager, and damn, their title sounds fancy even if you don’t know what the hell it means. You sit up in your seat as your finger runs against the mousepad of the laptop, scrolling down the page. This could well be the stupidest thing to consider. Who would actually consider being an escort to some random agent all the way to Miami?? And stay there until he’s done?? In your own hotel?!

You, that’s who. You didn’t care if he made you carry his luggage or if you did paperwork for the whole plane trip. This could be your big break, working with an actual, experienced agent. If you could just help him out a smidge, that could take you a mile in your work! Peeking over your desk, you make sure your manager isn’t looking before quickly writing back the most sophisticated response along with a quick mention of your name as a candidate. You’d probably be screwed if he did find out you practically promoted yourself on his behalf, but realistically, he won’t. The chair creaks as you lean back again, groaning softly as you remember that an email response will definitely take a week to come back.

Before you know it, you're already switching departments and knee-deep in a tonne of new documents to fill out for the trip. Why the hell hadn’t this agent gotten his passport renewed?! ‘Does he never go on holiday?? Is he an overworker or just the biggest shut-in ever??” You weigh up all the options as you step your way into the small desk space they allowed you to occupy, your hands preoccupied with a laptop, papers, and way too many things in your head. Oddly, this busy office block feels like home, like the corridors of your university cafeteria. This also means you know how to manoeuvre through this situation with ease, getting to your desk quickly and efficiently with no awkward interactions. Though you used to take your time and wish you’d bump into the love of your life and he’d pick up your books, you wanted this job so badly that it was out the window. Thankfully, this had been one of the best first weeks you could have so far; it was practically second nature—

You bite your lip so hard that you can’t tell if the pain is from the blood on your teeth or the hot coffee seeping through the back of your new shirt. Groaning softly, you turn to face the culprit, hoping that they’ll be nice about it like you were. Accidents happen, you think; maybe he just slipped. After all, there’s probably a bunch of interns here too; they’d be in a much worse position than you. But there's no culprit waiting to say sorry or offer to fix your shirt—only a man swerving through the crowds with a suspicious coffee mug that is only half full as he rushes through. Great. Not even a prince charming who will pay for your dry cleaning.

It’s only a few days later when that same man walks by again, and again, and again, until eventually he stops in front of your desk. You lift your eyes from the small little corner you own, stacks of paperwork before you, just because the agent you were escorting was that important.

“Hey- you’re my escort, right?”

And unfortunately, that agent was this man before you. Yes, you would have thrown a fit about the coffee; yes, you would have refused to work with him or forced him to apologise. But damn, you just really wanted that job.

You nod your head, sitting up a little straighter as you push away any of the burning distaste for him and give him a polite look. “Yes, I’m your escort.”“You sure..? I mean.. you kind of just look like any odd intern, no offense. Actually, the interns get a better desk than you.” His blue eyes pierce into you, one hand rubbing at the stubble on his jaw as he raises an eyebrow at you. Only now have you actually gotten a full look at him and his well… unkept appearance. His hair is tousled, stray pieces fall over his face, and dark bags tug his eyes down. If you had to predict his future, you’d be sure he’s on the path to being the embodiment of a die-hard metal fan. You also had a pretty confident guess he’d end up being the boyish lazy agent upon seeing how he grabs one of the sweets off your small pot and pops it into his mouth.

“I can show you the documents, Mr. Kennedy, if you really want—I’m pretty sure I'm your escort.” His words had annoyed you a little, but you couldn’t just get angry at him. He’s practically a veteran agent, and it’s clear that he doesn’t even know you existed before today; no one really has.“I’ve had enough of doing paperwork; I’m just glad you’re doing mine. So, what have you got planned for me, escort?” He’s a little sassy, it seems, definitely not what you had expected, but you just had to remember to stay professional and keep to expectations. You stifle a sigh as you begin talking again. Maybe this really was a bad idea.

At first it didn't seem to be too bad; you’d carry his important documents stiffly as you escorted him to the meeting with another high ranking official or the like. Even if they were boring, you had to remind yourself that life had its stepping stones, and you’d just have to work yourself through this one to be able to comfortably pay your rent this month on top of chasing your dream. He’d disappear some days off on a mission before he’d come back looking far more grouchier than before. It only seemed to worsen as you soon came to realise that, in the simplest words, Leon had just as much hope left for himself as Chris Redfield did—which was in the depths of hell. You’ve watched him be shouted at numerous times in the passing days over lost work, unfinished reports, denial of missions, and straight up.. slacking off. It was concerning to say the least, and you’re starting to regret all of this already. Most days he barely even had a routine, too hungover from last night’s drinking session to think twice before he started another one at midday.

“Um.. Mr. Kennedy?” You have to speed walk just to catch up to his long strides as he heads towards the exit of this DSO building, already beelining for the bar. “What?” His voice is sharp and barely restrained as he slightly turns his head only to catch a glimpse of you and your meek face trying to ask him something. “Oh, it's just you, escort. What do you want now?” He raises an accusing brow at you as if you had just interrupted something so very important with something that seemed to have the significance of the size of an ant.

“Well, I need you to fill in these documents—“ You begin before he cuts you off, rolling his eyes at your words. “So? Just put it on my desk. Can’t you escorts do anything right?” That only makes you grit your teeth in anger— how dare he insult you because of his grouchy behaviour? “Mr. Kennedy, you told me that last week, and you still haven't done it!”

“Exactly, I told you to do that. So just do it.” With that, he reaches the double doors that lead to exit the building, pushing past into the evening air and leaving you dejected in the lobby.

You couldn’t just let that go, obviously not, so you’d return to his desk every day and slap down another high stack of paperwork onto his desk. If that's what he wanted, so be it—he can deal with it when he practically can't see over his desk. You have a smirk on your face as you contemplate that, imagining him huffing as he goes through the stacks.

However, you’re only met with horror as you realise he’s not even at his desk, already heading down the corridor with a bottle of beer in his hand again. What the hell? You want to scream right now because there is no way you could have landed a job this badly. Yeah, you’re a bit of a hard worker, but this is the DSO—you have to be one. This occurs more and more frequently, watching as he just saunters down to the bar again or maybe to the balcony for a smoke; either way, he doesn't intend to look at a single word of the work set out for him.

It gets to the point where you have Chris coming for you too, asking where the hell the mission reports are, but all you can do is show him the place where Leon’s desk is, the reports overflowing. The agent begins to dislike you after that, scolding you for “snitching” him to Chris and then stating he’s had enough of your persistence. So, instead, he tries to annoy you and slaps twenty dollars in your hands. “Go buy me a bottle of beer, and then i want you to go to that diner down the road, order the special, but specify that I want no mayo in the burger and a seedless bun”

So of course, you trudge yourself down the road to the diner, pickup the food all while cursing him out before returning only to be met with another twenty dollars and another order. This repeats again, and again, and he seems to seethe each time you give him that same unfazed look upon your face.

In the past four weeks of this job, somehow you had dropped from earth to hell and then lower. It was like he was actively trying to kick you out of this place, and if you didn't have the paycheck and a dream right now, you’d go in a heartbeat.

You didn’t realise the severity of the situation until you’re panicking on a Monday morning, trying to find him because you both have to be at a meeting in ten minutes and he still hasn't clocked in for his shift. You’ve practically begged every security employee to tell you if they see him, knowing that Chris might just have your head if you don't get there in time. It’s even worse that the meeting is twenty minutes away from the DSO building you’re always at—this is a guaranteed failure. The phone goes to voicemail again, so you reluctantly decide to just attend the meeting anyway. You usually weren't allowed to sit inside with him, but the least you could do was give them an apology to save the DSO some face. Even if they wouldn't take ‘I have no idea where he is’ as an excuse.

You stop outside the building, cheeks flushed from the cold since the traffic was so bad outside you had to jog over to the building. Taking the lift up to the meeting room, the other attendees give you a dirty look, assuming you were some stupid intern in the wrong place. Their looks almost made you cower, but you know you aren't doing anything wrong. “Excuse me, sir.”

You stand awkwardly in front of the meeting’s host, your body awfully rigid from your next words. “Yes?” He looks at you with disdain, not expecting to be spoken to by some kid.

“The agent I'm escorting here, Mister Kennedy, will be a little bit late or may as well not turn up at all. I.. uh, hope you understand?” You attempt to explain, not really sure how to word this.

What you didn't expect was for the man to grow furious, slamming his hand against the wooden table, which immediately made the entire room stop their menial chatter to stare. “What do you mean he’s not coming? He’s our top agent.” He barks out, and you have no idea what to say, backing up from him as you fumble.

“I’m sure he’ll be here soon, but—“

“You’re only sure? What kind of escort are you?”

The red that coats your cheeks is humiliating, deepening with each second the silence continues on for. You grit your teeth, muttering out apologies as fast as you can before he eventually dismisses you, and you’re halfway down the stairs before you know it. The back of your hand wipes your face, small tears forming in your eyes at all the gazes fixed on you.

If that hadn't taken the cake, you didn't know what did. To think that he was getting away with all of this was a severe understatement; he was slowly deteriorating his own life from his habits. He’d been kicked off missions permanently now, and then work for him started slowly dwindling. It sounded good—less work right? Wrong. He was practically a week away from being fired altogether, which also kissed your job bye bye. The interns had already begun to snicker about it, even going as far as to ask you questions about him as well. As much as you hated his guts for his behaviour, you hated the sneers on their faces even more. It was the third time you’ve given them a dirty look now, even going as far as silencing one with a sharp glare. You couldn't help but scoff, a mere intern trying to mock an experienced agent? Who the hell did they think they were?

However, after another week passes with little to no improvement, you couldn't deny that the longer this continued, they wouldn't even have someone to mock anymore. The issue was, what the hell could you even do? Chris had fully given up on him at this point, as had most of the operatives here, and as much as you hated it, it seemed like you were his last hope.

————————————————————————

Next Series Masterlist

[fairyminnie444]

just wanted to share something positive regarding manifesting my celeb sp to vent and maybe motivate ppl! for context, i discovered loass back in july and have been consciously manifesting a relationship with sp ever since. i didn't really understand how to do things "correctly" and was relying on methods to get me what i want (that i knew did nothing to make me confident in having my desires but i forced myself to do it since it worked so well for other people *sigh*) until i had a big 'aha!' moment a couple months back where my understanding of living in the end/living in the 4d finally clicked. so, around that time i was scrolling through social media and saw a quick advertisement about travelling to sp's home country and had such a strong urge to book a holiday there next year and so i just did it, and it felt so right. after that, i've been walking around with such a deep feeling in my gut that we're already together, we're perfect for each other and that we will meet on my holiday. no matter what i'm doing or where i am, being in a relationship with him is always in the back of my mind like it's something instinctual. my sp is someone with a very busy schedule, to the point where he doesn't have any free time at all to be wondering the streets and meeting new people. well, it just got announced that he will be taking a long break from his schedules (for the first time in his career) at the time i will be visiting. also, last week while visualising what our meeting will be like for fun, i briefly thought 'it would be so cute to meet him at a record store', then shortly after he mentioned he visited a record store recently (something he hasn't done in years). also, all of my friends and family keep telling me that they see me dating/marrying a celebrity even though they know nothing about me manifesting him lol. this period now where i'm just waiting for the months to pass by until my holiday is very strange honestly but nice, since it gives me a chance to focus on manifesting other things in my life and letting sp take a backseat since oddly i found it way easier/more natural to manifest him than anything else (i guess my self concept is stronger in that regard)? also, people put wayyy too much stress on which tense to use when manifesting. you can affirm "it will happen" instead of "it has already happend" as long as you have that true belief in what you're saying. sorry if this was really clunky to read, i've never actually sat down and layed it all out for anyone before hehe <3

yayyyyyyy ngl im so curious hahha

anyway thank you for choosing me to tell this, and congratssss for your manifestations.

its amazing to see how you got this, it’s already done and its all yours <3

[fortisfilia]

Promised - Tom Riddle x reader

Info: This is a rewrite of a story I've posted on my old account years ago. If it sounds familiar, that might be why :)

Summary: In this story, Tom didn't grow up as an orphan, but with his grandfather and uncle. Reader's sister got very sick and the Gaunts offer their help. But not without asking for something in return.

Warnings: Arranged marriage, sickness

Word count: 2.7k

Masterpost | Masterlist

Part 1 - Dinner Guests

The bathroom mirror was still fogged up, your blurry face looking back at you when you put on the earrings Mother had given you earlier. 

“The Gaunts will be our guests tonight. And I expect you on your best behaviour,” Mother had said in the morning. What she hadn’t done though, was answering the questions you had met her with.

Why are they coming? Since when are they more than any other rich family, looking for peers? Since when are we interested in such peers? And why, oh why do they visit on the last evening of summer holiday, when you had planned to spend it with your little sister?

“You’ve got no business asking all those things,” she had said, flicking her wand to reposition the cushions on the sofa in the living room. “Now go to your room if you’re not going to help me tidy.”

A frustrated sigh soared through the bathroom as you fixed those damn wrinkles on your stupid dress, wondering when they would arrive. Your “best behaviour”. As if she ever had to remind you. Nothing was easier than behaving. Just keep your mouth shut and smile. Think of them what you want and maybe hex them later. You had done this for 18 years. Every dinner party had had its moments when you’d rather told the guests to finally shut up and go home, but you had never done it. Just nodded and agreed to whatever idiotic thing the person next to you had said. Tonight would be exactly the same. Smile, nod, wait for them to vanish. Easy. 

On your way downstairs, you peeked into your little sister’s room. Elsie was sleeping, her heavy breaths a sharp reminder of her current state. She had been cursed about two weeks ago. Someone had sent a letter to Father that she had opened, not knowing what waited inside. An adult would have probably been able to get over it, the mediwizards had said, but her tiny body was doing so poorly, that they couldn’t tell when and if she would get better. So she stayed in bed, where a house elf was always with her to watch over her when you or your parents weren’t able to. 

And there rang the doorbell. You took another look at Elsie before you made your way down as Father welcomed the three men entering. First in line was Marvolo Gaunt, roughly 60 years of age, with coarse skin and sparse grey hair beneath his bonnet. The man after introduced himself as Morfin Gaunt, a man in his forties, much better groomed than his father, yet he unmistakably wore the same slimy grin. The last was Tom Riddle, a boy from your school. Different last names and certainly a difference in appearance made his presence an unexpected one. But thinking back, there had been people in Hogwarts talking about Tom living with his grandfather and uncle. And with the student’s stories came many rumoured reasons as to why he did. Those rumours, whatever their veracity, hadn't piqued your interest, as Tom and you had never been in the same circles. He mostly kept to himself and when he wasn’t, a bunch of Slytherins were following him like a pack of guard dogs, vying for his attention. 

Tom could easily pass for a gentleman if one didn't know any better. He carried himself with a certain sense of pride and elegance. Not too much, not too little. No slimy grin, yet more of an unreadable expression of indifference on his face. He didn’t shake your hand like the two men before but glanced curtly at you before he introduced himself to your parents. Prick. 

Elsie’s seat at the dinner table stayed empty once more, even though the house elves had set the whole table, in case she wanted to join. The thought of checking up on her again surfaced. Later. Now it was time for your best behaviour. 

“Thank you for having us tonight,” Marvolo Gaunt said when the first course arrived. “It’s a rare delight to see that there still are families with values.”

The way he had emphasised that last word felt like a punch to the gut. 

Father nodded. “Rare indeed.”

Tom sat opposite of you and ate quietly. Never before had you seen someone making so little noise while cutting food. As if he was trying not to be noticed. And yet this very attempt made you look even closer. You weren’t even sure if he knew you. He must have, you shared classes at school after all. But he had completely ignored you since they had arrived. 

Morfin Gaunt put on his, apparently, most sympathetic smile. “We heard about your other daughter. And her” -he paused for a second and looked toward the empty spot at the table- “condition.”

What was he implying? Rumours surely spread as quickly as dragon pox, but why bring it up during dinner? You bit your tongue to prevent yourself from asking.

“And we heard about you knowing how to cure it,” Father said.

He knew. He must have invited them for exactly that reason. Looking at Tom again, to see if he was privy as well, you waited for him to meet your eyes, but were left with more indifference as he kept on staring at his plate.

“Well, we have our ways,” Marvolo said as he cut a piece of meat. “Old magic. Curse breaking. Better than whatever humbug they’re doing in St. Mungos.”

“You’ve taken her to the hospital, I believe?” Morfin asked.

“We have,” Mother said. “We’ve been there for days. They ran every test, muggle or magic, that they could think of. But they couldn’t help her. Said they’ve never seen a case like it.”

“Humbug, as I said,” Marvolo chewed complacently. “Bunch of quacks.”

“How do you think you can help her?” Mother asked.

“We would have to take a look at her first. From what I’ve heard it’s a rare and complicated curse, but there hasn’t been a single one I haven’t broken,” Morfin told her. “I’d have to brew and test some potions. I know people who supply me with a lot of… uncommon ingredients. It could take a while and it’s not entirely legal. Risky business. But I can manage.”

Then it clicked. Of course. They wanted something in return. The Gaunts didn’t look like they would do such things out of the kindness of their hearts. But what was it? Money? Power? Loyalty?

“And how could we show our gratitude in return?” Father finally asked before taking a sip of wine like he always did to hide his face when he was nervous.

Tom shifted in his seat, while Marvolo and Morfin looked at each other.

“You see,” Marvolo began. “Our family is powerful. Our bloodline reaches back to Salazar Slytherin himself. And yet, as much as I’d like to hide it, there’s been a stain in this very bloodline, when my daughter had my grandson with this muggle bastard.”

All eyes were on Tom now, who observed his grandfather’s words merely with a vacant stare. Only you seemed to notice how white his knuckles had turned on the hand around his dinner knife.

“Tom is, against all expectations, very smart and an ingenious wizard,” Marvolo went on. “This can be traced back to the good genes of all the generations of Gaunts before him, and of that I am sure. Even though he can be trusted to find his way, I, as the head of the family, must make sure that there won’t be another incident that could further dilute our bloodline.”

Your parents sat there for a moment, not knowing what to say. Father, with his wine glass still in hand, asked, “So you want what, exactly?”

“Marriage,” Marvolo answered.

With a shrill clink, your fork fell out of your hand and onto your plate. Everyone, even Tom, looked at you now.

“I’m sorry. I mean… I’m sorry?” you asked and cleared your throat. “I must have misheard you, Mr Gaunt.”

Marvolo turned back to your parents. “It’s simple. You need someone to help your daughter, we need a decent woman, from a noble pureblood family, for my grandson to marry. Accept it, or don’t.”

“Excuse me. Do I have a say in this?” you asked, more towards your parents than to anyone else. The words came out flat, like you couldn’t find the strength to properly talk, even though a voice in your head was screaming.

Mother appeared equally as shocked, but only whispered, “They can help Elsie.”

“Well, if your older daughter objects, there’s still a second one, isn’t there?” Morfin asked incidentally. 

“She’s ten!” you said, suddenly too loud. 

“So? We’ve got time. I wouldn’t prefer it either, but if you’re not willing to help, we can make it work.”

“Uncle,” Tom spoke through gritted teeth. “Stop!”

“So, what do you say?” Marvolo asked your parents again. 

Silence fell over the table as everyone exchanged bewildered looks. The Gaunts had not seriously proposed a marriage pact between two members of these families in exchange for curing a ten-year-old girl, had they? And if you declined? Would they simply leave her to fend for herself?

“Can we have time to think about it?” Father asked. “Let me talk to my daughter and -“

“No. Us Gaunts offer our help once and only once. Take it or leave it.”

Silence again. Father still hid behind his wine glass, while Mother’s lips parted. She looked at Marvolo, then at you. Her eyes glared into yours, pleading silently. The Gaunts smiled while Tom was looking down at the table again. Anywhere but back at you. 

The only thing you could think of was your sister’s little face and how it scrunched up when she almost coughed her lungs out. Elsie was too young to suffer like this. She was too kind, too pure to live through the hell that this curse had put her in. She had asked you every day why this was happening to her. You never had an answer. She was the last person that deserved such a fate. Marvolo was right - the people at the hospital didn’t know how to help her. She had not gotten better, not even a bit, in the last week. It was a miracle that she was still alive. But how long can miracles last for?

“Well, no answer is an answer,” Marvolo said and pushed his chair back to get up.

“No,” you said quickly. “I’ll do it. For my sister.”

Mother uttered a low cry. Whether it was from relief or horror remained unclear.  

“Excellent,” Marvolo said and shook Father’s hand, who had dropped the confident facade minutes ago. 

“When?” Father asked. 

“When they’ve finished their last year of school. No need to further distract them. Unless you want them to tie the knot sooner?”

“No, no. After this school year, it is, then.”

“Should we go and take a look at the little one now?” Morfin asked. 

“Uh, yes. Of course,” Father said and everyone except Tom got up.

You followed the guests and your parents upstairs until Mother turned around. “You stay here, love. We can’t let you come. Look after the boy and make sure he doesn’t sneak around.” She put her hand on your shoulder and squeezed it hard, as if to say thank you, then turned back around and left.

Thank you would have been an understatement, you thought, while going back into the dining room. Tom was still sitting there, his back facing you. It looked like he hadn’t moved an inch. Your heart was still racing from the life-changing decision you had just made and he looked so apathetic. Was he right in the head?

You sat down opposite him and looked him straight in the eyes, waiting for a reaction. Anything. He stared back, not moving a single muscle in his face. Now that he finally looked at you, you wished he would ignore you again. His whole presence was intimidating. It took up the entire room now and made you reach for your wand in the pocket of your dress. The way he looked into your eyes, so piercingly, as if he was able to stare right into your soul, while not showing any emotion on his face was inhuman and eerie. It was impossible to tell if seconds or hours had passed, but he was still looking back at you and you weren’t sure if he had even blinked once.

“What?” you snapped.

Tom arched a brow. “What ‘what’?”

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You started it.” He leaned back slowly. “I’m just returning the favour.”

He seemed too pleased with himself and for that, anger coiled in your stomach. “Wipe that smug look off your face, will you? My sister’s life is on the line, I didn’t start anything.”

“Smug?” he asked in mock offence. “Do you think I like being here?”

“How am I supposed to know? Enlighten me.”

Tom scoffed and shook his head lightly. “Have I made the impression of enjoying myself tonight? If so, I apologise for misleading you.”

The room was quiet again. That was even worse than the staring. The clock on the wall ticked to the beat of your pulse as your breaths turned shallower.

“So you knew,” you finally said. “That Marvolo would ask for this marriage pact.”

He nodded, his eyes roaming the table once more.

“Is there nothing you want to say about that?” you asked in a hopeless attempt to fill the silence. 

His eyes shot up and met yours. “What should I want to say?”

“I don’t know. Have you not tried preventing it?”

“I have.”

His short answers slowly but surely brought your blood to a boil. “And?”

He gestured with his hand and glared at you like you were stupid even to ask. “Obviously, it didn’t work.”

The clock’s bloody ticks got louder and louder as realisation hit. You had agreed to marry him. There was hope for Elsie but in exchange, you got yourself a future with someone you hadn’t planned for. Someone who couldn’t care less about her fate, or yours, or anyone’s, for all you knew.

“Why are you not upset?” you asked with a hand on your forehead as dizziness set in.

“What difference would it make? It’s done.” 

“Done?” You shook your head. “This isn’t something that’s done and over with.”

Tom rolled his eyes and shrugged. “Being upset doesn’t change the situation we’re in.”

“Well, I can’t help it! It’s not something you can control.”

He blinked once, a hint of disgust written on his face. “You better learn to control it then. Because you just made sure this will happen by agreeing to it.”

“You make it sound like I wanted this to happen,” you said, all but laughing with fury. “When it was your family that proposed the idea.”

“Don’t flatter yourself.” He slowly looked you up and down. “Rest assured, it was Marvolo’s idea, not mine.”

That somehow hurt more than anticipated. “How could you let this happen then? If you don’t want to do it.”

Tom exhaled sharply, clearly annoyed by the never-ending questions. He tapped his fingers on the dinner table and said, “As you can imagine, I have not been asked if I wanted to. You just experienced yourself how decisive my grandfather can be. How could you let this happen?”

“I had no other choice, had I?”

“Of course, you had a choice.”

“And let my sister die?”

“Then you made the decision to give her another chance to live and take both our chances away,” he said and got up. “You did that to yourself.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. And I’m done talking to you. I’ll wait for my family outside.”

Masterpost | Masterlist | Part 2