#maybe its the abandonment but i dont know how to get close to people in a real and natural way anymore. what a terrible thing

[tbpbsides]

no safer space than tumblr dot com to confess the last year of my life has been one of the loneliest - undoubtedly one of the most peopled and most filled with growth - but loneliest all the same, except for the fact of recency bias, which means its actually probably been like this the whole time

[whokilledsamara]

I loved both of ur scarletella hcs 💕 would it be possible to get more with mr crawling?

MR. CRAWLING HC {N/SFW}

a Mr. Crawling x reader list of sfw and nsfw hc. {an : ahh ty! ofc! i love him hes so puppy coded}

warnings!: smut, nsfw, soft sex, switch!reader, cunnilingus, blowjob, public {?}, slight marking, afab and amab genitalia described.

SFW HC

a list of sfw hc on what it would be like to date Mr. Crawling

for starters, Mr. Crawling has got to be the perfect lover out of all of the boys.

hes sweet, caring, and just a touch of yandere. {no where near as much as Mr. Scarletella...}

in a relationship with him, it would be like normal just x10.

he is a very touchy lover. when he is crawling he likes to be as close to you as possible. he says its for your safety but you know its more than that.

at night when you are sleeping, he stays near you constantly. he doesn't need to sleep, but if you let him, he will hold you while you sleep in his arms.

he goes out of his way to find gifts and food for you, even engaging with the others to GET it.

if you choose to take him home, {why wouldnt you...} then he will become almost like a housewife.

hes a fast learner so he can easily figure out how to clean, MAYBE cook, and really anything else. hes such a good boy!

speaking of a good boy.. he LOVES praise. he will do anything he can do just to hear you praise him. it really sets off his endorphins when he hears those sweet sounds of love come out of your mouth.

though he doesn't understand how it works, he likes kisses! he loves pressing his lips to yours or you giving him face kisses, like forehead or cheeks.

his hair is a big thing, he wants you to play with it or experiment with it. if you put his hair in styles, like braids or buns, he will be so happy !!

as for baths, he needs your help to teach him. in the underworld, smell wasnt really prominent too much. and there wasnt really a way for him to stay clean. his skin is sensitive, but he likes when you help wash him. he does enjoy baths!

his biggest concern is his face. he is very insecure about it, so PLEASE constantly remind him and tell him that he isn't ugly.

he gets so giddy at any sort of touches, even accidental.

he has major jealousy issues and gets upset if you talk to other people, so make sure you give him regular attention. {he could never be mad at you hehe}

you could look like/wear ANYTHING and he would think you are the most beautiful thing alive.

NSFW HC

a list of nsfw hcs on your sex life with Mr. Crawling

you might have to teach him what sex even is honestly. being locked up in an abandoned apartment complex with no sexual activity will make it hard to even know what it is.

hes so cute during sex. guaranteed. at first he is surprised you even want to have sex with him, like he is genuinely shocked.

once he is out of his clothes he is already a whimpering mess. still semi worried you are joking.

when i tell you he doesnt last, i mean it. a few thrusts in and he is already cumming. dont worry, he has unlimited stamina, and can go for hours or as long as you want.

after a few times, he learns that he LOVES giving you head. whether afab or amab, he is all up in that.

very submissive during sex, but is still the one manhandling you.

as said earlier, call him a good boy and he could probably just orgasm from that. praise is definitely a huge turn on.

he is a very fast learner {as are all of them}, almost instantly finding those spots inside of you.

he has very long, slim fingers. take that as you will.

he likes having his hair pulled. wants you to grab ahold of it and use him.

anywhere, and anytime you need him, he will be there. he will even find a random corner and go to town on you if you wish.

absolutely would have bloody sex. any blood, doesnt matter.

ill write more another day on a separate fic, for now here is a small paragraph for him going down on you. {could be afab or amab depending on how you look at it}

how couldn't you? look at him. he's already on his knees anyways.. in a swift motion, you are up against a wall, with a leg on his shoulder. his skillful tongue is deep inside, hitting any spot it could reach. small praises have him whining below you, as you hurriedly peak over the side of the wall to make sure nobody is watching. your hands desperately tug at his hair as he continues ravaging your lower section, moans and pants spilling past your lips. "fuck.. please.." you whine, legs trembling as he hits a specific spot that has you seeing stars. your orgasm washes over you, and he happily pushes you through it. he pulls away and after a few minutes, you are able to pull back on your pants and hopefully continue. you gently pats his head as he uses his hand to wipe your juices off his grin eating face.

good boy.

{ made by @whokilledsamara }

[liveontelevision]

Okay, this started as a rant about Lucifer lore and turned into an argumentative essay on why Lucifer is a bottom. My b.

18+ Smut ahead, lots of angst

•••

Here's the thing about Lucifer. He was an awesome dreamer, fell in love with Lillith, and was banished to Hell. Literally forced to see what the gift of good will can do at its worse. Unless he's made some personal contact with a sinner to get like updates about what the gift of good will did right, he had to be stuck in a depression for centuries, at least until Charlie was born. And while that would've definitely given him a new passion, he'll never feel confident in dreaming again.

With how much he dislikes sinners and what they represent, i wonder if there had to be some strain on their relationship when it came to Lillith taking control? They never really talk about if they had a fallout or if she just disappeared, but i dont think they really got divorced either.

When Lucifer looks at that family picture and winces, does he feel bad about not contacting charlie? About something he did to make lillith leave? Or maybe he feels bad about being upset at lillith for leaving in the first place? There's so much to umpack there i live for the lore.

Love Interests:

But when that comes to potential love interests in the future, Lucifer hasnt had to court anyone before like ever. Not in the circumstances that they live in a big city like Hell. So when he finally ends up catching feelings, he has no idea. People around the hotel literally need to pick up on context clues for him and have an intervention to tell him he's in love again.

Even if he hasnt seen lillith in 7 years, their relationship had to be a drastic change compared to new love. I think that his love interest would also pick it up before he does, and you would let him work at his own pace. Fuck, it is so important that he goes through this process at his own pace.

With so much strain on his past relationships with loved ones, he fully gaslights himself into thinking he doesnt deserves and isnt allowed to feel affection anymore. I hate making characters i love suffer. But i feel like in his state of mind he'd go through depressive episodes and panic attacks, maybe some night terrors. Theyed be about his past and his subconscious would essentially tell him he has feelings again, and he shouldn't act them in case he scares you away and abandons you, like heaven. Or drives you away like lillith. Or purposely blocks you out like charlie. Mans is struggling i swear. He needs some comfort.

After finally coming to terms, hes a nervous wreck about every decision he makes. He'll constantly stare in the mirror in the mornings, making sure he looks his best, would plan mental scripts before even having a conversation with you, and would become a bumbling mess just trying to make jokes out of the situation, some base level actions, like how we saw in the show. He'll manage to finally ask you out, but all he really knows how to do is profess an undying love (i feel like his confession to lillith was hella dramatic) so it was a little awkward, but still cute. And of course you said yes.

So let's say its been 5+ years since he moved into the hotel, met you and finally managed to confess his feelings. When it comes to the actual relationship? You give him reassurance and support him through his mental episodes, and laugh at his jokes and praise him for everything he does. He has such intense imposture syndrome though, that even other demons have to reassure that theres no way you dont love him with all your being. Because it is literally obvious to everyone but him.

He's pretty good at doing the romantic fluff stuff in public, he loves to make a big show out of treating you like royalty and even trying to embarrass you when you become close enough. He's always more charasmatic in public, it seems easier than doing that alone.

Not in a negative way, but Lucifer is so never to be alone with you. You take the lead a bit more in those scenarios, suggesting ideas like movies or just coming up with small talk yourself. He needs someone who'll be patient with him. Being alive for millions of years AND being left or shamed by all your loved ones during that time is literally the definition of Truama.

Of course he's been bottling all that shit up, he has no one to confide with. There's no one who's been alive and witnessed it all the way he has. So bless you for loving and caring for him even without understanding all hes been through.

You'll have some rough patches, where this emotional side locks him away from you and everyone else. It might be a few days before you see him. He'll lock himself in his office, pumping out ducks by the dozen just to keep himself from sleeping, because he's scared he'll have night terrors if he feels asleep. He's in a constant loop;

"what if i fucked up?"

"what if i try to talk about it and then they realize how bad i fucked up?"

"what if that's enough of a reason for them to leave me?"

"what if i scare them away?"

"what if that fucks this up?"

"what if i fucked up.. Again..?"

After he leaves his office, youre excited to see him out and about, but you cant make a big deal out of it. You have to speak to him calmly, make sure he's physically okay before talking to him about his thought process. It might take awhile, but he'll eventually trust you enough to open up. And of course it'll never be bad enough for you to leave him, he's just struggling.

Physical Contact:

It takes him an even longer time to become physical with you. He hasnt been intimate for over a decade at this point, but as soon as he becomes comfortable with little affections like hand holding, cuddling, wrapping his arms around your waist, and kissing? Hoo boy, he melts after your first kiss. It couldve been even a small peck and he would still become a nervous wreck just trying to ask for more.

He'll ask for physical touch more than provide it at first. You'll give him a quick kiss and he'll look up at you super eager just like, "another?" He'll grow into tastful pda's, linking arms, quick hugs and smooches, holding hands all that.

He becomes putty in your hand when you're alone though. You'll nudge him to lean against your shoulder or even lay his head in your lap while youre lounging or watching movies. He becomes so relaxed in your presence, that you'll want to suddenly peck him just to see his suddenly flustered reaction.

You'd give him massages that he would always be hesistant over. He was always a little nervous that he wasnt giving enough to you, but you were quick to assure him that wasnt the case. You'd straddle his hips while giving him a slowww massage. It starts with light touches, tracing your fingers over his shoulder blades and spine. You'd trace your fingers over his chest when you would cuddle too, depending on the position. Or stroke his back sweetly. It was enough of a distraction to keep his mind occupied, away from any spiraling thoughts he might be having.

He purrs. Convince me that he doesnt purr. (You cant)

Being secluded for so long probably means that he doesnt fly as much as he used to. It was probably a passion of his, and he was especially delighted to share it with lillith and charlie.

So during those 7 years he barely flew, he also didnt take care of his wings. I feel like theyre something to be summoned, so they arent constantly tucked into his back. You'd basically scold him sometimes to just let you clean his wings.

You'd do it in like a spring-type bathhouse that Lucifer would have in his castle somehow. It was one of the first intimate moments he's experienced in years, so he was generally going insane. Feeling your hands and a little comb rake through the feathers on his giant wings? You'd have to tap his shoulder sometimes to keep him from falling asleep to the relaxation alone. After the first time, the water you used was pretty dirty and he had a lot of loose feathets that were combed out. Damn, he needed this.

Intimacy:

After awhile, you sit down and would have a discussion about being intimate in bed. Lucifer would be absolutely nervous about overstepping by asking this, (even though you've been together for about a year at this point). He would use his mental scripts and basically practice what he wanted to say.

It would mainly be him saying he wants to do this because he loves you and youve done so much for him that he wants to give back to you in this way. It would consist of him saying its okay if you dont want to, or if you ever want to stop to just say so. But of course you want to, how could you not?

It would start slow, he actually tries taking the lead in this specific situation. He would kiss you first, his lips trembling at the thought that this is actually happening. Feeling his nerves, you'd cup his face and stroke his cheeks with your thumbs lightly. That will help him ease up enough to start letting the passion take over more.

He'd become more confident in slipping his tongue into your mouth and placing his hands on your hips to pull you closer to him. Lucifer would get lost in the moment, pulling you to straddle his lap as he kissed and licked and bit his way across both your shoulders and down to the softeness of your breast. After leaning back to look at the damage his eyes would become increasingly wide, looking up at you with a flustered expression. Seeing you losing it as much as he was, gave him enough courage to keep up at it.

He would almost hesistantly take a hold of your breasts and would massage them softly, running his thumbs across your nipples and becoming absolutely delighted at the reaction you gave. The adrenaline from the pleasure would make you start grinding against his lap, which would make lucifer's hands on your hips pull away for a moment and make his breath stutter. Lucifer would look you up and down as if he didnt know what to do next, studying your body with darting eyes. You'd press a small kiss on his forehead before guiding his hands back onto your hips with yours, keeping your eyes on him the entire time.

"Are you okay, Luci?" He would gulp before nodding his head and turning ridiculously red across his face, maybe from the idea of what was to come, maybe just from your voice alone. You'd keep your hands ontop of his at your hips as you'd keep moving, letting out breathy moans. He would be holding his breath without realizing, an absolute nervous wreck just from the view.

He would already be hard just from the previous make out session, so this would cause him to lean his back against the bed, his strength giving out. You'd keep up at it, feeling his hips jolt up to meet yours at times.

He was a sweaty, twitching mess in front of you and you hated to admit how much that excited you.

His scripted plan was immediately forgotten, but he was quick to remember that he wanted to please you.

He'd snap out of his state of intense pleasure, to carefully switch positions, him looking over you with your back against the bed.

You both discuss it, of course, attempting to set boundaries before hand. Even just the tender discussion would get him riled up. So he'd lean foward and kiss you again, showing off his forked tongue before peppering kisses down your entire body, until he was close enough to let his hot breath heat up your folds.

You'd feel his nervous breath on you before delving in. He would be hesistant of course, but would be quick to get used to your entrance after running his tongue across your entirety multiple times. Lucifer loves providing pleasure this way, so his brain immediately knew what to do once the nerves past. He was quick to take a tight hold onto your thighs to keep you in place as he entered you with his demonic lengthy tongue. He would look up at you as he sort of aimlessly dug around at first, waiting for a reaction. Once he'd see you dip your head back with a muffled moan, he would close his eyes to focus all his attention to that one spot. He'd reach his thumb around to circle and massage your clit that he would find far too quickly. You'd arch your back and try to get more friction against his tongue, but it's easy to forget that he is quite literally the strongest being in Hell. You weren't going anywhere.

He'd love feeling your hands in his hair and would absolutely lose it feeling you pull hard when he'd hit just the right spot. As soon as he set a steady thythm and was hearing your voice become more unhinged, he'd speed up to an extent that you didn't realize was possible after going for so long. You discussed cumming before and he made it very clear that he was okay with you finishing on his face. Fuck, he wanted it. You still warned him, moaning out his name to get his attention, "I-I'm almost there- K-Keep doing that.. like that..! Luci-" you'd almost direct him though the whole process, but were quick to become a moaning mess unable to communicate with words. You'd reach your limit and he would let you buck up into his face this time, loosening his grip on your thighs. He'd pull away after licking you clean, sending overstimulated pleasure across your entire body, with a line of your juices following his tongue as he lifted his head. He would pant with his tongue still sticking out of his mouth, and even through hazy eyes you loved seeing his demonic tongue and thinking about how it just drove you to climax.

Things would switch up again, and you'd sit him against the back of the bedframe. you'd have another quick discussion before seating yourself slowly on his length, which had been throbbing for any contact since the night started. The first few times, he'd do his best not to cum immediately. He hadn't been touched like this in a while, after all. You'd only begin to move once you made sure he was okay since his struggle was written all over his face.

The moment you began to keep a steady space, he would jut his hips upwards, becoming needy to feel this sensation he hadn't felt in over a decade. The first time didn't last long. It was sweet, and he would constantly moan out your name and babble on about how much he loves you. The entire time, you'd be praising him through every move until he was going too fast for you to get a sentence out.

He'd cum inside of you, another previously discussed topic. You essentially had to beg to convince him it was okay. You'd collapse onto his chest, a position he didnt see often. While the two of you always cuddled, you were so focused on making sure he was comfortable, Lucifer realized you didnt often get the chance to just relax on top of him. So after realizing that? Aftercare was amazing.

He'd let you sit with him inside you for a while, before pulling you off and immediately cleaning you up. Some nights, when he felt especially dominant, he would lap up his own cum from your incredibly sensitive cunt. He would swallow some of it, but was mainly pushing anything that dripped out back into your entrance.

After cleaning you up, he would wiggle his way back underneath you and pull you onto his chest, enjoying taking care of you the way you took care of him.

After the first night, lucifer would be much more confident. He'd have that healthy glow, but would be more assertive during meetings, more communicative and wouldnt shut others out as often. It really helped him realize how much you gave to him, and he was determined to give all that and more back to you.

[whois-jess]

can i request rhea ripley x reader

rhea and y/n are former best friends that have feelings for each other, but have grown distant due to rhea joining the judgment day, and y/n dominating the singles division, but y/n is attacked by Damage CTRL(or someone else, they’re the only ppl i could think of) rhea is the one to save her, and they make up with hesitation and distrust on y/n’s end of it, because rhea injured y/n’s good friend liv morgan. rhea shows reader how much she truly missed her.

Trust me

Rhea Ripley x Fem!reader

Rhea and me were best friends since NXT we went everywhere together and when we could traveled together, we were even a tag team everyone loved us and our chemistry i was Rheas 'girl' but when she joined the judgment day we became more distant she was always with Dom or the rest of them.

I am working in the singles devision and i what many say dominating the singles devision, i was also friends with Liv Morgan and people said we had good chemistry now.

I was walking out to the ring when i felt a kick to my back "shit!" I said falling down i turned to see Bayley "oh my god! Its Damage CTRL!" Michael yelled "poor y/r/n didn't see that!" He added "maybe because they came from behind!" Wayne said back as Bayley stomped on my arm making me scream Iyo Sky and Dakota Holding my arms as Bayley repeatedly kicked me "y/r/n all on her own" i tried to fight back trying to wriggling out their grip but failing when i hear a theme.

"Oh my ITS RHEA RIPLEY!" I lifted my head to see bayley, Dakota and Iyo drop me walking backward to the ring "Mami is not happy she is back for her girl!" Rhea runs straight by me to Bayley kicking her "touch her again! Go on!" then when Dakota tried to help Rhea ran her into the steel steps Iyo too busy looking after her friends as Rhea walks back to me "you okay y/n" she asked kneeling down by me fans screaming 'MAMIS GIRL' "Yeah yeah" i held my stomach and Rhea picked me up bridal style "lets get you backstage".

We got backstage to my dressing room both not saying a word as hurt still lingered when i saw her "so you Okay?" She asked sitting by me "yeah just sore" i nodded and she looked at me "look y/n i am sorry" i looked at her funny "why?" I asked as she did nothing but maybe that my problem "well i guess i been ignoring you and other stuff we were so close then i just leave you" she looks down at her hands as she speaks, i dont know what to say not really trusting her "i abandoned you in a way and i am sorry y/n" i sighed looking at her "i mean Rhea you injured liv one of my best friends" Rhea looked a little guilty "that wasnt my intention you know me i am a massive softy y/n" she said and i sat there thinking and moments when we would bake together or have sleepovers because we had the same hotel room "i do Rhea and it hurts that you left me" i looked down this time but her soft hand lifted my chin up "y/n i want to go back to how it was us two my girl..." I looked into her blue eyes and even though i felt the hesitation her eyes told truth and emotion "yes Rhea of course i will be your girl again" i smiled and her face lit up "really you mean it!" I nodded and she ran over lifting up "you got to met the judgment day you'll get on with them! We can all go on trips we can have girls day and everything!" She smiled like a kid on Christmas making me chuckle "calm mami lets just enjoy this" i smile at her still in her arms as we hug again for the first time in what feels like years "we're back!~" Rhea smiled as i we both laughed.

[worldussysblog]

A Glimpse of the Future

[ Malleus x Reader/Yuu ]

Warnings: some Grammatical errors ,Fluff , angst if you squint , Negative thoughts , Gender Neutral! Yuu (a child is mention but the it's still gender neutral just imagine that the child is created/born by magic)

Summary:In which during their nightly strolls together Malleus suddenly spaces out and he may or may not have caught a glimpse of the future or better yet Malleus had find the missing piece in his life.

Prounouns used: They/Them , you/your

The sun had already set which means its time for Malleus to meet his nightly companion who happen to resides inside the old abandoned dorm that he used to visit to relax his mind.

"Hmm its already night , the child of man is probably already at our usual place , well i can't have them waiting for me any longer" Malleus thought to himself and without wasting anymore time he quickly teleported himself to their usual place , the said usual is none other than the Ramshackle Dorm where his human companion and their troublemaker cat currently resides in.

At Ramshackle Dorm:

You just finished getting ready for your nightly strolls with your horned friend and youre gonna admit that you always look forward for this nightly strolls together.

Staying here in Twisted Wonderland had its up and down but you manage to get through all the hardship this world had given you along with the troublemakers who you call 'Friends' , sure they always manage to find a way to indulge you to their shenigans but you love them still especially your cat companion who likes to call himself "The great grim-sama" and you his 'Henchman'. And while you're at it you may or may not have caught feelings for a certain dragon you call "Tsunotaro" .

You truly treasure those precious moments with them and thank the ghost camera the headmage had given you , you manage to capture every single moment.

But no matter how long you stay here nor you get close to the people who live here something felt wrong , maybe it's because you dont belong here? In this world? This thoughts is running like a toy train inside your brain. You often ask yourself whether if you try harder you can belong in this world even if you're magicless. Sure there might be some other people who doesn't have any magic in them but they make it up by being good to some other things , but you? What can you offer to make yourself useful and be one of them? Are enough to be Malleus partner if he ever happen to reciprocate your feelings? Or will you be rejected and just be friends forever? The answer is simple just be yourself because you existing in this world is already enough , YOU. ARE . ENOUGH , that's what the voice said in the back of your mind. But you wonder is just being yourself enough to belong here? The voice inside your mind answered once again "Yes" .

You quickly shook your head to shake away all the negative thoughts because tonight is such a fine night and you can't let it be ruin because of your negative thinking. As soon as you manage to calm your mind , you manage to catch a familiar green light outside the dorm , looks like your nightly companion is here. You quickly went out of the dorm but not without putting a blanket over Grim so that he wouldn't get cold without your warmth.

Outside Ramshackle Dorm:

"Hmm looks like the child of man is still inside the dorm" Malleus thought after seeing that Yuu is nowhere in sight.

As soon as you went outside you immediately called your friend

"Yo Tsunotaro! Good evening! How long have you been waiting here? Im so sorry if I kept you waiting" You said feeling bad if you had made him wait for so long.

Malleus chuckle at the silly nickname you had come up with when he gave a permission to call him what ever you want and even after knowing who he is, you still choose to call him that. But somehow with the way you call him it made his heart swell with happiness , he's glad he met you that night.

"At ease Child of Man , first of all Good Evening too and No I did not wait for so long because I myself just got here" Malleus said while smiling down at you.

"Oh phew I honestly thought I had made you wait , i can't have Sebek scolding (more like screaming) me for making his 'Wakasama' waiting" You said as you chuckles

"Well shall we go on to our nightly stroll?" You added

"We shall"

As you two are enjoying the beauty of the night , you ask your friend something but you notice that he's not paying attention to you and is currently spacing out.

"The moon is beautiful tonight, dont you think so Tsunotaro?" You asked as you looked at your friend only to find he stop walking by your side and that he's spacing out

"Tsunotaro?" You tried to wave your hand in front him but he's not showing any signs of moving.

With Malleus:

Ever since he was a little kid , Malleus had always dreamt of having a garden for which he can be proud of but... no matter how hard he improve his rose garden something is always missing , he often wonders if he doesn't take care of it enough or it must be something that he might find in the future.

Years had passed since then, his rose garden had improve it gotten bigger than before but still nothing had change , he still felt that something is missing. And so his journey in NRC had begun , even here in his new school he's still isolated and always being left out be it his classmate or his fellow housewarden , heck he never even gotten to attend any of the ceremony meeting nor was he invited to any outings/meeting. He honestly thought this will go on until he graduate in NRC but that all change when he encountered the strange human who he found out is now residing to his favorite abandoned place and the said human doesn't even know him and still had the guts to call me such strange silly nickname but somehow it felt right their meeting feels right it's as if they're meant to meet.

As soon as he teleported himself back Diasomnia Dorm after meeting the strange human he quickly look for Lilia to tell him his strange encounter with the magicless human. And of course Lilia was ecstatic after finding out that Malleus had found himself a friend but the latter quickly shook it off saying they just met and that they're not friends but Lilia just grin and said-

"Yet"

"Huh?" Malleus said with a questioning look

"Yet, Malleus you guys are not Yet friends but soon you'll be"

"How can you be so sure about that? Who knows they migjt be scared of him once they know who I really am"

"Trust me when I say you two will be friend , you two will be Friends. Besides my fatherly instincts never fail me , who knows you two might be more than friends in the future tehehehe" Lilia said while giggling to himself.

"Okay?" Malleus replied not understanding what Lilia meant on the last part.

While Malleus is spacing out , he found himself in place he's very much familiar he's currently in his Rose garden but he wondered when did he get there? Isn't he with Yuu a few moments ago? But... something is different he can feel it , he's in his garden but somehow he found it quite strange because this version of his rose garden seems more lively like its complete. And so he decided to look around while doing so he heard two voices one is familiar while the other not so much , he followed the sound of the voices and finally he reached the source of what he had heard and there he found himself staring at the back of someone , now he wonders whether this is his rose garden or it belonged to someone else and that he just accidentally intrude it so he decided to leave and teleport himself a before he could do it he found himself staring at what seems his future self approaching someone who's holding a mini version of himself and the person who's back he previous stared at turns around only to reveal Yuu his companion of the night the one he was with before he was sent here in what seems a future version of his beloved rose garden.

At that moment Malleus had come to conclusion that he may or may not had been catch a glimpse of his future no their future together and he realises that the reason why the rose garden feels different is because it's now complete he's no longer the only one who goes there because now he has someone that he can share his rose garden with. Together with his future child and spouse they all live happily and his garden is now more lively than before.

"Ha, no wonder i felt like our meeting/encounter that night is meant to be , it's because the two of us are really meant to be , to think that all this time i kept on looking on how to improve my garden for it to be the garden I can be proud of but the only thing that's missing is you" Malleus said as he put his hand on his head with a smile plastered on his handsome face.

Malleus had finally realized that all those nights he spent all alone in his room and garden , all those day where he keeps looking to make a perfect garden and why his beloved rose garden back at Briar Valley never felt home is because something or someone is missing but now he finally found that missing piece and it was Yuu whom he been looking for all this time , it was them that filled the empty void in his lonely heart.

Bonus:

You keep waving your hand in front of your friend but he still showed no sign of moving and so you decided to call his name.

"Hey! Tsunotaro are you there?" You said

"Earth to Malleus?"

"Dark lord?"

"Emo boy-"

"Horny boy-"

"Edge lord-"

You sighed realizing no matter how much you call him he won't answer and so decided to do something you knlw you will regret- slapping him. You raised your hand ready to aim at his beautiful face but before you can do it , Malleus suddwnly snap out of his thoughts.

"Ahh, sorry for spacing out Child of Man I was just thinking of my rose garden back at home"

"Woahh you have your own garden? Sickkk"

"Heh indeed I do , the flowers are even more beautiful when they bloom but it will look more beautiful when the petals have fallen on the ground, It's the garden I'm proud of so if you have a chance to visit the Briar Valley , I'll definitely show it to you" Malleus said with a smile on his face before looking back at you.

"Ohh that's great!! Looking forward to it !!" You said as you gave him a close eyed smile.

"Im glad you're looking forward to it but put that aside, what did you just call me? I heard you called me what was it? Ahh yeah Edge Lord "

"Eh? I don't remember calling you such names hehehe"

The End♡♡

[thatdeadaquarius]

hi! quick tip: if you’re on mobile type ‘:readmore:’ then hit enter! i dunno if you’ve been told but. yeah :)

also, your recent piece on apd was incredible!! very nice to see representation!! keep up the excellent work <3 it did get me thinking though: reader with vocal stims, cementing it in the acolytes’ minds that you don’t speak the language of teyvat, and then you’re all just stuck in this loop of “oh man they don’t speak the same language of me” but they DO

if asks are closed or this is outside of your comfort zone then feel free to delete! have a lovely day <3

AHFJLAKLOSUDBABWB U FELT REPRESENTED YAY!!

A cookie for thee, and also extra for telling me how to do Expand thingy on mobile ilysm 🤲🍩🍪✨️ (pspspsps all askers,, u get cookies,,cometothedarksidepspspspspsss)

I was so worried bc it wasnt like super all the aspects of Apd issues, and it was very based on my personal experience w/ similar symptoms + other bits of ppl's experience so i was hoping it still felt somewhat recognizable for ppl w/APD!! Tysm for the feedback :D

NOTE ABOUT VOCAL STIM DEPICTED:

So i think ive experienced verbal stims, so this is a combination of others shared experiences + personal experience, and while everybody experiences things individually/their own way, please let me know if there is something obviously inaccurate/maybe even offensive.

You will definitely not make me mad or otherwise offended, I really want to hear that kind of feedback from others who vocal stim!

Thank you so much for reading! :)

___________________♡_____________________

So lets just say that ur vocal stims r pretty non-verbal or non-sensical ("her sister was a WITCH BRO-" like memes that dont make sense to them)

Or like, u have verbal stims that r actual language but they dont hang around long enough to hear it maybe ??

♤

So like, this ends up happening

Chongyun was exploring near Qingce village for supernatural stuff as usual

And U were just vibin, chillin near Qingce village livin ur best Creator god cottagecore life

And ur like planting a new seedbed, Jueyun Chilis :) (bc jfc however bad it was to collect them in game, its 10x worse in person, ur tired of running around town getting chilis, Qingce isnt exactly flat 💀)

♡

And every seed u put in the dirt ur like "boop!"

And Chongyun comes by, bc u at edge of town, and the villagers mentioned a strange new traveler settling here

He immediately feels a wave of that same feeling he used to feel when the Creator god had their eyes on him, or would assist him in battles

So poor boy almost overheats trying to climb up the hill to ur house

And is like "??...Creator??"

Then kinda stops bc ur just like-

"Boop!" "Boop!" "Boop!" ☺️ LMAO

And then u finish planting seeds, get the watering can,,

And everytime u pour it just-

... "EJACK! Come, water!"

(Ur saying it so fast too, and he's still somewhat farther away, so he cant rlly hear that well too)

...

..

And its just so incomprehensible to Chongyun he's deadass like "A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE??!"

So of course,

He waves, 👋

And ur like omg icy boy!! :D 🧊💙

But u dont say anything yet, and then he starts,, miming?? He points at u? Then like?? Points up? The sky?? Then like, mimes swinging his claymore???

(ARE U THE CREATOR??!!)

U look up, very confused 🧐

He seemes frustrated.

Then he just kinda, bows and leaves?

...

...oh no.

Do Teyvat people speak that crazy language that u saw in game?

Instead of English??

Well.

Shit.

...

.... U havent rlly talked to anyone in Qingce yet since u just got here in Teyvat like a week ago

And found this abandoned house

♧

It just gets worse 😭

Bc slowly, one by one,

Each playable character in Liyue comes to attempt to talk to you

(And since u have a farm, and they keep giving u food/goods? For some reason?? U still dont need to go into town)

☆

At one point, even Zhongli shows up

And thru complex miming and hand motions u think he means dont worry abt him? Like just go back to what u were doing?? Okay??

U guess he's just gonna chill here for now?

...

...Zhongli just kinda,, squints, and puts his hand on his chin in his classic "thinking very hard" face

So ur tending to the garden saying,

" FREDDY! You're supposed to be on lockdown!Vanessa...I'm... a Material Gworl✨️"💀

...Just, on an endless loop LMAO-

...

(Hes trying to see if he recognizes any part of ur language, poor old man 🤔🤔😭)

♤

And it just snowballs even more, and now,

None of you have even tried to say a word to each other. 🤡

(Other than ur vocal stims)

...

Keqing: "Perhaps, it's similar to Fontaine's native language?"

You, in the background: "🎵 dUdE,,, sHe'S jUsT nOt InTo YoU 🎵" (mimicking the autotune and everything)

Ganyu & Keqing: "..."

You: " 🎵 gOtTa MoVe On, mOvE oN-🎵 Hurricane Katrina?? More like Hurricane Tortilla!"

Ganyu & Keqing: "...Can't be,"

"what else do we got? Should we call Yunjin to better mime for us??"

♡

Xiao's the first one to even get close to knowing u can actually talk to each other, bc he's always checking in on u most often <3

And he only heard u bc u swore u heard a monster outside ur house one night and came out ur house with a pitchfork, very nervous,

"...Hey there demons.. it's me.. ya boy."

(And u just keep stimming that out of nervousness to make urself feel better as u check around ur house lol)

Xiao: "??? Demons???!! WAIT-"

♧

By then, it literally took like 6 months for yall to finally have a real conversation 💀💀

...

(Chongyun got so embarassed bc he was one of the first few to misunderstand he overheated rip🙏)

Im. So. Sorry. This. Is. ✨️Ass✨️

Twas the best scenario i could come up with, im telling yall, im not as funny as the ppl who send in these asks 😔

Keep in mind, I never claimed i was funny or a good writer, u cant hold it against me lol /lh

Lower ur expectations LMAO

Well i hope u got sm enjoyment outta this anon, sorry abt the quality!! :)

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

[liloinkoink]

as someone who also has so much homework to do. what are your thoughts on treesekai ren (speaking of treesekai, i actually sent that fic to a friend like a year ago who doesn't watch hermitcraft etc and i remember we had fun reading it and giggling over the anime of it all so tysm for that ♡)

i am no longer doing homework so i can share thoughts. it is almost 3am tho so idk theyll be coherent

first im glad you two enjoyed it! dont know how i feel about the fact it's breached containment but it is good to know it holds up

[speaking of, this fic was posted a year ago, so if you dont know what treesekai is, here is the link for you]

second i think all the time about just how lonely treesekai Ren is. ive made posts like this before but Ren is just... he's so lonely. Ren is a character with a lot of love in him, always. he always wants someone to care about. often many someones! he gravitates towards big loyal teams, and he usually spends his time at home building a place for that team to be protected and safe, and is willing to die to defend that home (and he has. twice.)

dogwarts was a big team whose loyalty he took seriously and whose home he died to defend. the shadow alliance had matching skins and, until they went red, all ren's loyalty, and their base of operations was one of the last bases standing bc Ren continually put it back together for his teammates. Ren and BigB died on the doorstep of of box, with ren's last words being about defending it. home and the people in it are important to him

treesekai Ren is the same, but he doesnt really have anywhere to point it. he has a home, but what matters to Ren about a home is that theres people in it. he loves the country he rules but he thinks if he does that hard enough he'll have someone, and he just doesnt. he assumes he can trust his staff, thinks he'll be able to make alliances with other nations, hopes his fiance will be that person he needs. but he isnt! and Ren cant trust him! or his staff! or other royalty! no one else in the world cares about him! many of the people close to him ultimately want him dead!

so, in the game, he ends up paranoid, and he ends up evil, and he ends up dead

but in the fic he meets Martyn, and he gets that connection and affection and care hes been looking for all this time. and like. it fascinates me how much Martyn doesnt know how much hes changed ren's life. Ren isnt evil for nothing--above all he's lonely and hurt. by saving him from loneliness, Martyn saves his life. he could abandon the game plotline then and there, completely forgoing all the normal isekai tropes of running thru every event w future knowledge and picking the best possible outcome, and Ren would no longer die. just by being there and sincerely caring for Ren, Martyn has already achieved the best of all possible worlds. and he doesnt even know it!

i just. i love how lonely he is and how simple he is. he just wants to be loved. he just wants to love someone. he's a dating sim character, after all, and that's the whole point, isn't it? his world exists just so the people in it can be loved, and he's not allowed to have any of that. if youd just give him a romance, he'd be more than happy to be a love interest instead, but he isnt! he isnt allowed! no wonder he loses it. on some level, maybe he knows hes being denied the fundamental purpose for existence in his universe

this is rambly bc its rlly late but im just. it must hurt more than anything to be the one character in a world about love who is meant to be completely unlovable

[westbifire]

Just a couple of thoughts but...

(blue is just me rambling)

What if Kuras gave Vere the knowledge and power to become a god and then tried to use Vere to overpower the god he served, aka OG god bc its easier to write. Vere would go with it because he's a greedy power hungry lil man, (his fatal flaw) maybe even at the expense of his own village.

(This got long so more theories abt everyone under the cut)

Then what if OG god guided the Senobium, who they now in the present game serve, on how to control Vere. They succeeded and Vere was abandoned by Kuras who was taken to be punished for his sins.

What if Mhin was a researcher who recorded different myths, including Kuras's and Veres. Their expedition decided to explore the newly developed Shroud. Mhin returned the sole survivor with a curse that would turn them into a monster from the world they tried so hard to escape. When they returned it was to a future world where their home was destroyed and monsters were accepted.

And what if Leander as a young man found Mhins research in the Senobium or his parents library. Which guided him to Kuras. He got close to Kuras to try to learn the information he gave Vere. When he left hightown he took some of the pages with him (why some of Veres information is missing in the lore). Wow guess who he slept with... Mhin the author of those research papers (in this theory at least) WHAT A COINCIDENCE!!! Leander definitely uses emotional connections to use people (including Mc in the beginning at least) so why would he not try Mhin?

From the lore sheets we know know the 'infamous ruler of the Shroud' is coming to or is already in the human realm and its probably Ocudeus. We never know it might not be (soooooo fingers crossed that its not and we get a hot overlord antagonist 👀 RSS do you hear my prayer) but it probably is so here's the theory for that. If Ocudeus comes to the human realm the only big fish for him to fight that we know of is OG god. Which definitely would end in "carnage".

I dont know man... what if?

[a-little-bit-of-everybody]

a/n: Okay so ive been writing this thing, it has NOTHING TO DO WITH TLOU but i just want some advice or somth??? idk , any feedback is welcomed good or bad 🩷

tw: none rlly? SLIGHT IMPLIED death/ su!c!d3 of scientists, themes of hopelessness/ depression (if u see any others lmk xx), bad writing lmao, the world ending if u squint rlly hard and turn your head at a 90 degree angle clockwise 🩷🩷

--------------------------------------

"So destroy the city. Burn it to the ground. Maybe Ill get some peace when the worlds crumbling around me."

-------------------------------------

1

She was fixated. Fixated on fixing things. Fixing people. Watching the crumbled shell of a person come back to life, with nothing more than a few sweet words and her entire being. She'd see a broken person and would itch to help them heal, until they grew beyond her, like they always did. Until she broke, and they didnt want to waste the time, the enegry on helping her be fixed. They did not want to murmer sweet words to her, to watch that shell grow. Who would, when Itd cause such a burden on the other. So, she never fully healed. How could she, really? Healing requires the tender hands to bandage your wounds, words of affermation and acceptance and love that only come from a healed person. But she found herself void of them, having used them on the poor souls she'd tended to in the past. She knew Hurt People hurt people. She knew her wounds would bleed on those who did not cause them. She'd pry her eyes open in the morning to stare outside at the barren landscape, the emptyness reflecting her soul back at her. The world had been dying for quite some years now, and so has she. Sheremebered when she was 16 and the signs of a ruined world began to set in. The farms became infertile, not taking to any seeds, no fertilisation could help them, no amount of soft spoken praises could bring them back. The seas became all too poluted for anyone to even set foot on a beach. The former white sands replaced with white plastic, the sea a wave of rubbish waiting to consume us, the oceans lungs full of smoke from a cigerette. She saw how the sun hung in the sky. It was there, but seemingly more distant, as if it looked down on us in pity. Pitying what we've forced ourselves to become. Even the sun, somthing so bright, dreaded getting too close to this world- maybe it was contagious. Scientists promised hope and redemtion and a future of a new life on mars. We could thrive, they said, Live for many more years to come, this could not be the end of our dominating species. This was not our extintion event. Karma could not, surely, be the death of us..? They promised we could thrive on another planet, abandoning our mother to the fate we'd caused. But, still, 8 years later, all humans would wake up to this destroyed planet, this desolate existance. Soon after the sea began to rise rapidly, swallowing the lands with a purpouse to renew, Scientists gave up on painting a life on mars, the lies washing the canvas clean, tainting it a sickly yellow. They told us all the facts. The earth was angry. We were doomed. No god could save us now and no amount of praying would cease the terror about to insue. No other planet held any future for us. The thing is, you dont realise what you have until you loose it all. Until its snatched away from your desperate hands and your promised its never ever coming back. Scientists lost faith, so it seemed, what they knew was a burden too heavy to bear as they all left the public eye. Their fates unkown tradegys for the earths revenge. No one bothered to check their houses, letting them rest in peice, after all, who would know of their existence soon? When all was gone? But despite the dire times, the govermnent held onto society- claiming to fix it, but breaking it more. Soon, they also left. None could cope with the responsibility, none could pretend everything was normal, no regimes or rescues could bring hope to even the most hopeful.There was no saving us. Why save the damned when you know they'll crawl back down to hell to spite you?

[narzissenkreuz-ordo]

i guess i need some. advice? encouragement? about some stuff thats been happening recently so suicide/violence cw under the cut

i won't go into detail but i had. a very huge emotional/physical/mental breakdown today. where i was just. basically screaming and howling about how suicidal ive been lately. I haven't said anything out loud/via text on the internet abt it because i know saying i want to kms so often is bad for my own well being and ultimately makes other uncomfortable as well

so yeah i've just been. holding all that in. i knew the thoughts were coming in and out the past few months but was just shrugging it off as just being stressed abt the nightmare year i had. but i really was just. lying to myself and others because i didnt want to worry anyone/didn't want to admit how horrible i was doing after a couple years of good progress. but as it stands things are heading into a really bad direction for me rn. its not normal to go to sleep suicidal and immediately be suicidal upon waking up.

I don't really know what i can really do harm reduction wise. i'm unable to have regular visits with a psychiatrist/therapist bc of availability issues + i tend to just. lie. because its easier to say im fine than it is to advocate for myself and get actual help. and even then medication will not save me and coping skills can only go so far if im so deep in it im unable to take care of myself/feed myself/clean myself/eat/etc so none of it is effective enough in the moment. i know it CAN be effective and some of the skills ive learned can help during situational issues but this is really deep rooted improperly treated mental illness and i need a stronger foundation to be able to use any of the skills

i use a means of self isolation to punish myself, because i'm so upset with myself for not being able to pick myself up on my own. people can say im not a burden over and over but theres always gonna be a catch in the end. i freak out because what if this is one of my last meltdowns before they decide enoughs enough and i just get abandoned. again.

I feel like maybe being so Online is making things worse?? but i don't know??? my concentration is completely gone even when trying to use dnd/closing discord completely and im just constantly refreshing social media every 10 seconds and just stew in the bad feelings.

I don't know if just. leaving the internet cold turkey for a bit would do more harm than good.....i dont want to be alone and caught up in my thoughts. but i have a hard time doing things in 'moderation' and don't know how to even begin to roll back my internet/screen time usage

fandom is fun and great. but i dont think i should be using video games as pure escapism or playing them 24/7. im already getting bored and unenthusiastic about the things i like because its ALL i do.... I want to have at least SOME time away from screens. i hate having the impulse the check social media or refresh even 30 seconds (im even doing it NOW) but i just dont know where to begin in cultivating non-screentime hobbies and have the ability to focus on things more long term without having than doing 1000 things all at once to keep myself busy. i play video games muted most of the time, have a yt video playing, sometimes i'll stop mid video game and pull out my ipad while still having the games open, and im always on discord

there's books i still want to read, i eventually want to pick up sewing again. im considering getting a craft set for making those beaded bracelets (my brother gets them from concerts all the time and thinks it would be fun to make them too) but that all requires money

and i just. idk where im going with this rn but. any advice or suggestions or just. words of encouragement would be. really nice rn

[malatruse]

TSV finale thoughts

uh spoilers ovbiously

initial thoughts

Ok first of all WOW i am dehydrated from crying jfc. like I listened to Eskew, I knew what to expect, but DAMN.

Really lovely work all around. They did a really nice job with representation and making it feel natural and a part of the characters.

No skip kd song to close out the show, which is a little disappointing.

ok so down to the actual events

when faulkner's being all sarcastic about what will happen if he goes with carpenter i was just sitting there thinking 'well damn you can just say you dont wanna go'

they did a really good job of portraying faulkner as someone who's clearly sympathetic but also completely fucked up. who was he following in the water though? i guess it's implied to be an angel but idk. the callback to episode 1 was heartwrenching.

the fakeout at the end with carpenter felt so cruel, they let it go on for so long, she forgot the rest of the lyrics even! speaking of, why didn't that guy's truth come true? i guess it kinda did, but why didn't it happen right away during active wartime?

i love val so much.

it's so upsetting that everyone has to die alone. they couldn't even get back to each other before biting it like cmon.

couple of loose ends

the girl from the birch cult. i thought since they brought her back she would be relevant. maybe she was and i missed it?

the god or spirit or whatever that haunted carpenter when she fell asleep at its altar. she told it she was talking it with her. i hoped to see that manifest somehow

carpenter and paige never talking about how they both knew vaughn!!! cmon!!!

acantha....i guess we're meant to assume she died but :(

themes

strong vibes of 'if the system is this fucked up the only thing to do is abandon it' which is fitting considering the everything happening right now

no one's truly good or bad they just do things and they think they're doing them for a reason but it's not always the reason they think it is

the victors writing the history books. reminds me of in nona the ninth (spoilers for nona the ninth) when pyrrha tells john they can write the history books to say he was a good wizard, as a justification for doing questionable shit to get taken seriously. and we all know how that turned out

closing thoughts

we all need to be nicer to each other because we're all we've got

i love val ;;;;_;;;;

not forgiving yall for that hotel that feeds on hope. you can suck my nuts that kind of infohazard shit fucks people up for real

[nightmareentertainment]

ken's whole story is built in [insecurity and loneliness] that funnels into [anger] which turns into [GRIEF guilt and even more anger] which makes him the prime suspect to be used but also makes him , like , fundamentally mentally weak , leads him down an even LONELIER path, leads him towards cruelty , and the turning point in his story is actually like. he describes it, verbally, as realizing in his moment of healing that his parents loved him. like going through life feeling completely abandoned by a better-than-you brother who was also suffering under their parents' negligence towards their kids' emotional stability, feeling abandoned by your parents, and then that brother dies and you are still left standing in his shadow, its just even bigger now, its full of grief, and youre full of grief, and you dont know what to do other than to just stare empty-eyed at his closed casket

and all you thought before was i hate you, i want you to dissapear and now you want to take it all back, because did i do this? did i wish this into existence? this isnt what i wanted. this isnt what i meant.i was nine years old and angry and sad and alone but i never wanted you to dissapear. not for real.and now your room is just your room, and you get an email, and someone wants to help you :-). except no he fuckign doesnt he just gives you a place to relinquish all that anger, and it builds, and youre still alone but youre convincing yourself now you have control over that. you step into your brothers shoes. youre better than him now. youre finally how tall he was when he died. your parents seem so happy to have their boy back. they dont realize they never got him; they just lost the kid they had left. you are a husk made from guilt and grief and you fill it with anger until its exploding from every part of you. you no longer know who you are, but the news decides youre ken ichijouji, boy genius and soccer star! so you go with that. eventually you find your way to your escape. a new world. and you get to decide who you are in this game; you get to pick your destiny, you get all the control. theres no consequences for not smiling at the camera, here. and youre alone, and the world is weak, and theres something itching in your mind; something telling you what to build and how to build it, and you never know your control isnt actually your own. you never get to know. you play the game how you want to. its your world. its not your parents, its not your brothers, its yours, this is yours and you are going to fucking rule it!!!!!

ken is very much like , hurt-people-hurt-people but the thing is that, in the real world hes trying very very hard to be NORMAL and NICE and GOOD even while hes bubbling with rage and hatred and wants to be left alone, he smiles for all the cameras everyone is putting in his face, taking his anger out in secret and only when nobody is watching, because hes aware of consequences but in the digital world there is no consequences. its a game, after all! then there's other players and at first it's kinda fun, having an enemy in your game, but then theyre not playing fair, then theyre in your way, its getting annoying, and its not fun anymore. and the worse you feel online, the worse you feel offline, and hes pissed, and everyone wants everything from him, and one day he throws it all down and decides fuck this and ken ichijouji runs away. the ichijouji family loses their second and final son. (this is their turning point, too. they realize maybe osamu was never happy, before he died. maybe they pushed ken into the same box. they bury their faces in their hands and just pray they havent completely lost their chance to try)

ken- the kaiser- is having a really Really Bad Fucking Time. hes not even having fun anymore he just wants to be in control of something, he wants the chance to be a winner, and theres other players and theyre in the way. and then. well, shit. and then they win. Doesn't that suck? It’s the first time you’ve failed at something in years. i like him. i like the digimon kaiser. thats just a little kid hes up playing games in this bitch. its shown he actually really, really loved and admired his brother, and i feel like this and his persona as the kaiser are involved. he literally resembles so much of his brother even in his persona as someone who rules the world isnt it crazy how you resemble your prodigy brother no matter where you go or what you do because without him there youre the only one who could possibly fill the space. ken is nobody, but everyone loved osamu. why not be osamu? even if you dont realize it!!!

thats all a big part in why he claims he doesnt know himself after it all goes down this kid has no clue who he is. only wormmon does. quite literally only wormmon knows who he is. who he was before it all went to shit. who he was while it happened. only wormmon was ever there for him. and he treated wormmon like shit, for so long. how do you ever forgive yourself for that? wormmon tells him he's kind. he really is. under all that anger and guilt and never ending sadness, hes kind and hes just lonely. and so ken turns his life around. IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOBODYGETS IT NOBODY UNDERSTANDS HIM LIKEI DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE HAS NEVER KNOWN ANYTHING BUT THE FACT THAT HE WILL ALWAYS EXIST IN HIS BROTHERS SHADOW SO HE GROWS INTO HIS BROTHERS SHADOW AND ITS ONLY WHEN HES TORN DOWN TO NOTHING, INTO A GUILT-SOAKED MESS , DOES HE STEP OUT OF IT. KINDNESS IS THE ONLY WAY OUT. HE SPENDS HIS TIME TRYING TO MAKE UP FOR WHAT HE DID AND HE ONLY HEALS ONCE HE REALIZES HIS PARENTS AND WORMMON LOVE HIM, ONCE HE HAS FRIENDS ALWAYS READY TO BE THERE, ONCE HE LEARNS TO, AT THE VERY END, BE KIND TO HIMSELF TOO, AND FACE OSAMU AND FORGIVE HIMSELF

[g0-t0-s1e3p]

INTRO OR WHATEVAR

Sup yall, Im J3ff - as in ya knoww the Killer lol. heres some information 'bout me ig XP

Like I said - names jeff. I have a "real" name but I'm not giving in to ya weirdos without knowin ya first.

I'm a minor technically so keep that in mind. don't really care what ya do round here - if you're here your strange anyway so just don't kill the vibez lmao. or be weird ig, idk

I'm technically a fictionkin of Jeff but honestly I just consider myself jeff. its just who I am i dont really fck round with labels and stuff. This blog is mostly stuff relating to me being -yk- jeff, but there's other stuff two ;p

If ya think you might know a "canon mate" of mine or are one look below the cut for more info. im still lookin' for all ya crazies (/aff)

This is where I start to get mushy as fuck - ik right ew lmfao -

I'm mainly looking for Toby, Liu, Nina, and maybe Ej and Jane - no offense yall I just don't remember the rest a ya that well. if ya remember me tho hmu. ;3

'dont remember much, what happened to me is basically juyt what happened in canon. me and Liu were super close. we were separated for a while after the ahem- *incident* shall we say - and somehow he found me in an abandoned building.

lmao ik weird af. but it happened. i think. somehow.

oh also most people lived in the mansion, tho there might have been a side hut attached for the medical stuff.

I was either dating Toby or Ej- or both- or both happened but at separate times- idk man lmao.

me and jane were pretty chill after awhile of how shall we say - forceful compliance by everyone else. same with me and Nina. I used to call her Neens' and Toby Tobe's a lot.

look guys- imma be real honest with yall I just want my brother back- i miss my family. found or otherwise. if you know anything about them or know where they are could ya hmu? or tell them to hmu? I understand what Ive done - I know how horrible I've made your lives but please, give me one more chance? if I didn't earn it then maybe I can now. If you'll let me.

~ Jeffery Alan Woods

[atopvisenyashill]

i discovered your lovely page through larra rogare tag as you had written a response for imagined AU that she didnt leave and the impact that would had been on naerys

can i ask how do you image she spent her time after she left kingslanding? Do you think she felt better or worser or numb? Do you think aegon 4 or aemon or naerys wrote letters or tried to see her? Or maybe larra wished to come back but viserys didnt allow it as in a way larra had betrayed him by abandoning him in a extremely difficult time

and whats your headcanons for viserys and larra relationship🙄 which is I know and I agree its pervert and sick but at the same time I am curious, viserys was a kid but also kid who was extremely smart. i wonder if larra pitied him felt bad for him when he was hostage and then kind of became his friend while married? or did larra started to resent viserys for how his father found viserys and made larra marry him? do you think viserys II ever know what true love was? Did he thought he was in love with larra but then she left and he grow up and he closed himself emotionally?

i dont know What are you thoughts ?what do you feel how things went?

i'm sorry this took forever, end of the year was wild for me.

so i’m fully aware this is all getting jossed once f&b part 2 comes out (if it ever comes out) but I have thought a lot about the family dynamics of the dance kids after the dance, and how it affects them growing up and their relationships with their children. any sort of violent overthrow is going to affect the way its people develop, and the dance ending in the deaths of nearly every dragon when the dragons are more than just animal familiars to the people of westeros and what's left of the valyrians is going to be an extreme affect. the dragons are nearer to gods at this point, and yet they were all killed! i think this, and aegon iii being known as "aegon the dragonbane" especially in relation to the first aegon being "aegon the dragon" and the second being famous for having a bond so close to sunfyre that sunfyre died for aegon and not just at aegon's order (way different dynamic from vhagar, meraxes, caraxes, moondancer, and vermax), that all of viserys and aegon iii's kids are completely destroyed on a spiritual level. they're also raised by a bunch of young ass parents (i know like 19-20 isn't uncommon an age to have kids, but this generation is kind of extreme in that literally every single one including the boys is married and has at least one baby before 18) who are all struggling and failing to control their ptsd from the trauma of the dance. all of that to say, i think Viserys and Larra's kids and Aegon and Daenaera's kids (and Baela/Alyn and maybe even Rhaena/Garmund) were all doomed for unhappy lives from the start.

For sure, I think for Larra there was a lot of numbness. Unlike, say, Saera, who abandoned Westeros for a life that is certainly depressing imo (the only freedom a Targaryen woman is ever allowed is through the bartering of her own sex; either on the hopes of a kind husband or as a literal sex worker. it's soooooo damn depressing) but was at least living a life more in her control, the way Bellegere Otherys lived. Larra, however, abandons King's Landing because she is driven out due to the hostilities. She must leave all three of her children behind, and she must return to Lys in utter disgrace after the nonsense pulled by the men in House Rogare. She failed not only to protect the men in her family with her proximity to power but she also failed in keeping the smallfolk, the lords, and even her husband and children on her side to raise her house higher. And the price for a woman after a failure like that is usually obscurity, depression, and isolation. Look at the last days of Alicent Hightower, Maegor's wives, or what everyone hopes they did to Cersei at the end of Dance. I hope she wrote to Naerys but I wonder if she'd feel it wasn't her place anymore especially considering how religious Naerys is.

I do imagine Viserys latched onto her when they first married and Larra encouraged this; she's a part of the little crew of rascals during the Regency so she's clearly close to Viserys when she first arrives. I think it makes sense that he would get close to her as both his wife but also as a pseudo sibling or mother figure, after being separated from his own mother so suddenly and violently. I think the downfall of her house may have been what really started to sour their relationship; even though Aegon and Viserys come to her family's rescue, the damage to their reputations has been done when the Lyseni Spring has ended. Now, instead of clinging to the only kind face in a kingdom he doesn't know, Larra becomes a political liability; a foreign wife with foreign gods and a disgraced, upjumped family. I think this is why Viserys really doubles down on the incest by forcing Aegon and Naerys to marry and trying to force Baelor and Daena to marry - trying to prove they're real Targaryens still, even without their dragons. And because Larra doesn't fit into that, she gets cut out of the whole story.

[emulation-0]

ok i know nobody here probably cares about marriagetoxin but people's reactions to the latest chapter have really been bothering me and i cant leave my own comment cuz i have to download the stupid app so

ok so everyone's saying "ohhh teruaki got brother-zoned" "happy pride month" "hes gay" "hes just saying that cuz he didnt want hikaru marrying someone else" you guys are not understanding!!!! thats not whats happening!!!

i myself dont really like teruaki i was weirded out by his behavior and i didnt want to understand him or empathize with him but its not that at all and people reducing it to "happy pride" is grinding my gears!!! thats not whats happening!! proof that people dont talk to their families you guys dont get it. he's not angry because hes gay (even if maybe he is). its not even a brother complex thing even tho those kinds of feelings have something to do with it. its cuz he has abandonment issues

hikaru was like the prodigy and whatever and teru was always left behind right. he worked his butt off but he always got left behind and i guess in this kind of clan they cant show kindness to each other but hikaru helped him out and to him as a neglected child it must have seemed like the kindest thing in the world. it must have seemed to him hikaru was actually helping him a lot. and since there was no one else really around he got attached to him and i guess akari idk. mostly hikaru tho

so he worked his butt off trying to get to a place he knew hikaru would be cuz he assumed they would stick together in the clan and he wanted more of this cuz he was neglected. and then he receives news that hikaru is leaving and getting married and in his mind he probably thinks 'oh hes leaving me again' and that probably made him angry cuz that means all the work he did to make sure he could stand in a place he was sure hikaru would be was all for nothing cuz hikaru is leaving anyway. so he really doesnt care about the clan at all deep deep down, that became a priority to justify his feelings. in reality holding the clan as a primary value was more or less an incentive or an excuse to get hikaru to stay with him cuz im guessing teruaki is an only child so he doesnt have siblings that will be there with him. so it doesnt occur to him about hikaru's happiness or that hes getting married to get an heir for the clan. what he sees is that hikaru is leaving him, he'll be all alone, and everything he did and the pain he put himself through was all for nothing. thoughts of the clan became his values because he thought they were hikaru's values and he thought that would get him close to him and fighting hikaru was an outlet for all that anger. he simultaneously wanted to push him away and keep him close and hikaru wasnt understanding so that riled him up.

and ig these conflicting emotions are what makes him go like insane to crying to insane again cuz he himself doesnt understand what he wants here and disguises it with 'come back to the clan!! >:(' he gets close to the root of the issue when he wants hikaru to kill him (cuz if teru lives he would go back to the family and be alone and have to take up the mantle) but thats still not what he really wants. and by now hikaru is starting to understand whats going on here when teru od's and asks him to kill him

so its not that he got brotherzoned, being his brother is probably what teru actually needed the most, an assurance that hikaru was not leaving him, that his (familial!!!!!) love isn't unrequited, and that his efforts werent pointless. and mostly that hes loved and not getting abandoned again. because they were kids back then and hikaru is an adult now and hes still growing. now he sees all of this and just how bad living in that family was affecting teru. so him extending this invitation that 'yes i still love you yes im still going to be here yes i want you in my life' as opposed to teru thinking it was only him who wanted hikaru in his life is what he really needed to hear. its not brother-zoning. and thats why teru is relieved at the end. and like maybe there is some kind of other feelings going on but i dont think theyre truly romantic in nature. i think its kind of like the thing where youre in a bad situation and you meet someone good and you think its love but its really not and that leads to unhealthy attachment. i think its that

but people reducing this conflict to 'teruaki is gay' no!!!!!!!!!! noooooooo theres MORE to it than that!!!!!!!!!!!!! stoppppppppp

[elysium-the-true-faceofsalvation]

Sparkle HSR jumpscare.

"A table with a chessboard can be seen right in the middle. All of the pieces in the board are pawns and black, but an indigo colored pawn is at the far back of the board, completely alone." Chess indicates opposing forces. Us vs. Them mentality. Syouga's image color is indigo, so the pawn is him. He doesnt belong among these forces; he's neither of them, but I dont think hes a double agent or something like that either. An indigo piece among only black (and white, presumably) pieces means that it doesnt belong to this game at all. Interesting about pawns that theyre the weakest piece, but they can become any piece at the end of the game. It aligns with Syouga's thing with illusions. "The camera changes to their mouth, and a smirk quickly forms as their once black hair starts turning light red." Black hair is generic (also, the pieces among which Syouga is are black), but colored hair gains attention. Perhaps symbolizes Syouga abandoning his average, everyday self. "Syouga slowly reaches down to the lone indigo pawn at the back of the board, placing it on the palm of his hand. He looks at it for a while, his expression becoming disappointed. His expression quickly changes as he starts to smirk, he looks at the pawn one more time, and then he crushes it, breaking it like glass." Again, the indigo pawn could be Syouga's average self that hes abandoning.

"As the camera fully backs away, it reveals that Syouga was on a TV. Multiple people were watching him, and they started to become horrified when he broke the pawn. Some ran in panic and others just stood there in shock." I dont know what exactly it could mean, but his occupation is definitely not something approved by society. "It’s a missing person poster. And yet, it has no name or photo. In the place where the name should be, it has “Resident N.564”. In the details section it reads: “Not much is known about this person, that’s why we need as much help as we can get. Please contribute so we can find this lost member of our community.” Now the usage of the word community, and the thing with assigning every citizen a number, are very interesting. It implies this is a group of people small enough to know each other, and its a group that realizes itself as a group. Here we go back to the us vs. them mentality mentioned at the start. I dont know why could it be though. But I feel like its nothing good. My first thought was something like a cult, or a town that exists for particular purposes? Like a town used specifically for production or science, those are usually also closed towns.

"XXX: “He didn’t come out of his room for days. Are you sure he’s okay?” YYY: “He’s a lost cause, don’t worry about him.” YYY: “It’s more likely that he may die of starvation than him getting his ass out and getting a job.”" I suppose this is about Syouga. It implies two things: He watches the PC screens from his room at home. Though then why is he missing? Maybe its metaphorical and means that the Syouga people knew (or like… Didnt know) was gone, since current Syouga crushed him? His supposedly family considers him a lost cause. It also means hes considered someone whos a failure by society's standards, not having a job. Could also align with how the citizens dont notice/see him when hes walking in the streets. "The camera zooms in on the chessboard, all of the pieces are still black, but they are all scattered around the board now. Syouga then drops the shards he was holding at the middle of the board, the camera cuts back to his face as he starts smiling." Syouga caused a panic among the said "community". Theyre now scattered instead of being prepared to fight with the "them". The way he drops the shards could mean that he works from within the society, hiding himself in it. Also reminds me of how serial criminals can leave their signature traces at the crime scenes. Like shards (pieces, traces) of Syouga being all around the town.

"???: “Why doesn’t the police just arrest this Syouga guy?” ???: “Stop fucking around! We need to work together to find him!” ???: “I can’t believe one of our own went missing right under our noses.” ???: “Stop focusing on the culprit and focus on finding the victim!” ???: “This is a mess…”" Another evidence that Syouga is doing something illegal. Is the missing part about the previously mentioned missing person or are these serial missings? Since Syouga is implied to work for a while ("why doesnt the police (finally) arrest him?"). Also another evidence that this seems to be some sort of closed group ("one of our own", "we need to work together").

"Strings start to appear out of Syouga’s fingers, and he wraps them around the chess pieces on the board. He just watches them dangling around the strings, until…" Syouga imagining himself to be master manipulator lol. "One of the pieces falls out of his strings, it was a pawn, and it slowly starts disappearing. As Syouga sees this, his expression changes to one of pure shock. Sweat starts falling off his face and his left eye starts twitching, and then the scene cuts." "The scene changes to someone’s POV. They are watching a man walking on the streets. The POV person seems to be hiding behind some buildings, and as the man walks past them, they run up to him. The scene then cuts to the POV person holding a knife while trying to stab the man from before. The man tries to resist, causing them both to fall to the floor, the POV person falling above him. They try to stab the man again, but he grabs their hand before they can do it and the scene cuts." Someone was able to identify Syouga or disturb his plans in some way and he wanted to get rid of this person? "The POV person is now seen running through the woods, as they look back, red and blue lights can be seen shining, and the scene cuts." Police found him. "All of the pieces on the board have already disappeared, the only thing left on it are the indigo shards of the pawn Syouga broke." The community that Syouga tried to manipulate is gone. "Syouga looked up to the board, his eyes falling on the broken indigo shards. He stands up, and gathers all of the shards. He starts to piece them back together, and soon enough, he is able to form the pawn again." "As he looks down at the restored pawn, his expression starts to become one of genuine anger. His teeth start to clench and he balls up his fist, and punches the pawn, breaking it again." "But this time, blood comes out of the pawn. He looks down at his bloodied fist. His left eye starts to twitch, but soon enough, he closes both of his eyes, and the screen starts fading to white." Perhaps for a moment he regretted starting all that and wanted to go back to his average self, but maybe he realizes theres no way to go back anymore. In the end he gets rid of everyone in the community and disappears as well.

Conclusions: Syouga's occupation was something illegal to the point that a lot of people are terrified of him. At the same time hes seen as a failure/lost cause by society's measures. Theres a distinction between the average Syouga whos called a lost cause and the criminal Syouga, people dont realize them as the same person. The frequent mentions of PC screens makes me think that it wasnt even happening in the physical reality. It would explain why was he able to work from his home going unnoticed, and why is he missing when he can be found at home. But I'd say it doesnt explain why people are so terrified of him. Or he was leading a group of people that did the job for him. Syouga belonged to some closed group of people. He also seems to hate it, maybe he wanted to get out of it or take revenge on them by doing whatever he did.

SIDJBSHSJAKSVUSMA S GEJS THIS IS SO GOOD, I love it I'm kicking my feet and doing little bounces let's go