#maybe its my fault for bystanding

[bluginkgo]

Ep 8 Theories

With the series finale come my last minute theories and thoughts regarding the episode and what could be going on towards the end of the episode.

Spoilers, duh

I'll be trying to stick with how the episode played out, might occasionally end up jumping around though. I have heard plenty of rather negative/disappointed thoughts regarding the ep. Overall, I'm very happy with how it ended- yes there are a couple issues, but I don't think they took away from the main idea. Most of my theories will mirror that.

First being, V is alive! The queen returned in the best and coolest way possible. Couple things here.

I do wonder if V was more than suspicious of Tessa and her identity. So in the end, chose to not go with them on purpose- fake her death, and see how the rest goes.

Something that was on the sentinel's part/fault, they didn't actually boot loop her, giving her a higher chance of escape. Rather unsatisfying explanation to some, but to me, it is more than enough. The sentinels have less knowledge/programming made by humans, and it was already seen that V could overpower one of the sentinels. Seeing as they are a pack running team, seeing that defeat might have just turned those tides. A bit of a silly thought, but silly is this show and the reason I love it.

The biggest thing that had me confused was this. Perhaps I'm slow- and I am- but I had to think about what possible promise the Absolute Solver could have made and later tricked her instead. That would probably have to go all the way back to ep5:

"You will not have to discard your pets, and I will not discard you."

In a way, this line was aimed both at Tessa and J- who was simply a bystander. The Absolute Solver kind of promised not to get rid of Tessa, someone that J seemed to have a close connection with. Technically, the AS never got "rid off" Tessa, simply repurposed her just like all of the WD in the mansion to become DDs. Perhaps there was a background deal between AS and J that included the promise of leaving Tessa alone, or doing something for the AS and being freed from its control after. Either way, the AS broke that promise and J simply gave up. She chose to side with the "winning side" and lost all of her fighting spirit and reason to be. Perhaps that is why during the fight, she simply never returned. We saw J being tossed into a crevice and that was all- before her returning in the credits rebuilding the ship. When the tide changed, she didn't see a reason to keep on fighting alongside the AS and dipped out of her shift.

The comment of "I never needed either of you." also made me wonder if this also implied that all J needed was Tessa. Someone of higher authority to tell her what to do and which orders to follow. J never needed friends, only a boss that oversaw them all in an orderly manner. But then again, that's just my thought, in no way a concrete theory.

Less of a theory and more of a observation. Seems that a lot more of N's memories were wiped slowly one by one, and this would be one of the reasons as to why. If the AS wanted the team to retain their personalities, it would need to get rid of the things that could traumatize the team and therefore change how they behaved- especially seen with N. He seemed to always have the least amount of memories from the past, surprising until you see that maybe this was because he woke up during the transferring process between WD and DD. That would completely change how he behaved, his core personality would be gone- the one that the AS got so attached to.

A call back from ep4: "We do our jobs, and that thing leaves us alone." Perhaps V and AS also had a deal. Because they all retained their personalities, and at first maybe their memories as well- before the CYN administration started to delete them- V could also make a deal with the AS for her and N's freedom. The deal was broken, V chose to raise her sword against Cynessa entity instead which irked the AS. An attempt was made on V's side to salvage the moment, perhaps to say that she could still finish the overall job, choose the "winning team" as according to J earlier in the ep. Of course, that didn't work.

Gotta give it to my tired and sick brain, I couldn't figure out what Uzi meant by "Just me in here." Nor how Uzi was even able to start fighting the AS control unlike in ep7. What changed? Well Uzi, herself said it, "You don't fricking own me." Uzi's personality and desires was something that the AS could never use for its own gain. Unlike with Cyn- who did not want to be discarded- Uzi didn't really have any wishes and desires that the AS could fulfill/poach. Yes, in ep4 Uzi was often forgotten by her classmates and seemed to want to hang out with them all as well. "So glad you fit right in. Super cool-" is what she told V. She wished to fit in at some point in time. The AS took that thought and said, "'aight I got this. To fit in/make sure N doesn't leave her Imma just get rid of the obstacles!" in a very AS way. The snap that occurred between ep7 and ep8 was Uzi's dislike of being "owned" by something. She's always prided herself in being her own drone, with her own personality and character. The AS constantly wants that control, to be able to move its puppets as it wishes. Once Uzi said "no" to it once, it gets easier to say "no" to it again and again- because the method is always the same. The callback ping stops working and instead Uzi takes the control.

So, the Solver of the Absolute Fabric, the Void, the Exponential End is this. It has a final form that always resided in Cyn. It appears that Nori knew this as well, because she made a comment of:

"The Solver needs a host- destroy Cyn's heart."

The AS's final form is a black hole, much like those that the Solver drones have been able to create. Except in Cyn's case, the form of the AS is much bigger and more grand. Cyn's core behaved a lot like how J's core did back in ep2

All of her parts became miniature black holes before floating away off of the screen. Perhaps each drone that has some form of the AS in it- be it a DD or a Solver drone- will eventually become this. Hinting at the fact that if N and V were to die, their cores would become small black holes. In Nori's case, something similar would happen as well, if the core was to be destroyed. In Uzi's case, if her core is destroyed, the size of the black hole would be similar if not bigger than the one we saw in ep8 from Cyn. Depending on how much control the AS has in the drone, the bigger/smaller the black hole will be post core death.

Now as for the end. The ending I'm actually fine with. It's very open ended, leaving it to us to figure out the truth and the lies. For us, the viewers, to fill in the holes that may be left and choose where the story goes from there. Some may take the path of: this is all a lie, none of the things post Uzi integrating with the AS is real, others may take the route of the happy ending and that everyone figures out how to live on. I'm more with the happy ending gang.

The ending doesn't solve anything though. Much like how the image says "I'm not solved" the problem was never solved. The AS still exists and at best, what Uzi did was put the whole kill all of the universes thing on a pause. But here's where I give the one and only thing I have a gripe about regarding this episode:

The moment between N running to check on Uzi to Uzi waking up where everything is destroyed. Half of the confusion regarding the ending of the series and many disappointments I see stem from this scene alone. Because it's so sudden and rough that it makes the episode feel rushed. I expected the entire episode to be a big fight and then leaving about 5 minutes for the ending/denouement- that's generally how these sorts of animations go. My issue is with that scene and the rough transition. What could have helped, I think, was to have 2-3 minutes of Uzi chatting with the AS directly. Doesn't need to be anything grand- put her and the AS in a black plane/mindscape and have them chat. About why the AS is still even fighting, and make a deal/truce with each other showcasing the reasoning behind the integration/fusion of Uzi and the AS at a much better pace. Then, have her wake up with the Fatal Error, continue on with the ending. Granted, this method would take away from the suspense and tension feeling that was originally felt when we saw Uzi with the "Fatal Error" on her visor. Furthermore, the surprise that we felt when we first saw Uzi's eyes.

Another theory as to the possible sudden/rough transition would actually be this. When Uzi imploded the planet for the umpteenth time in the episode, the things that were surrounding her slowly started to go back up- much like they did when Cyn was calling for the second core collapse. Perhaps her actions, in fact, did cause the core collapse and then yeeting her into god knows where like Nori and Yeva in the past. All the while this was happening, the AS integrated with Uzi. But because Uzi is much stronger now- mentally and physically- the AS couldn't take complete control like it did with Cyn. Instead, it was a partial fusion of the two entities. Giving Uzi the extra solver powers seen with Cyn, but keeping her personality intact instead of the AS exploiting it like it did with Cyn.

Finally, my take on what the hell is happening with the post credit scene. I've seen a lot of people take this scene in the way that Uzi is living in a simulated ending. They never actually won, and the AS simply created an entire illusion of a happy ending just for her to cope better. Here's the problem with that theory:

Cyn was known for being able to switch between all of these forms without needing to lose her original body. The AS is now integrated into Uzi and has given her the power to do the same thing Cyn was capable of doing. "But Ginkgo, why does Uzi seem so tired then? And why show the empty halls?" To be for real, if I had a little tail that would constantly spout that I look good in a bow and other comments, I would be tired too. Regarding the hallway, depending on time of day could mean how many drones are out and about. In ep2, it was shown that a lot of places become deserted when it's not being used, same applies to the school. Furthermore, a small idea just came to mind, maybe hiding the AS parts of herself takes a lot of energy and makes Uzi tired. When the drones are all gone- the ones that are at least afraid of her- she could let that mask slip, thus glitching out occasionally and dipping into the other forms.

Overall, I genuinely enjoyed the episode and was really sad to see the series come to the end- still coming to terms with it really. While the ending is very open ended and gives a great opportunity for season 2 to pick from, I wouldn't be upset if there is no S2. If they ever did announce there was one, I'd be really happy, but if there isn't that's alright as well. Liam did a wonderful job with tying the story off, open ended for us to play around with and continue the journey of these characters in a way that makes us happy.

Glitch stated that they have some things they'll be using N and Uzi for, my gamble is they will mostly likely return for events- Glitch Inn, promotion of products, GlitchX, etc. What I would love to see is little snippet episodes of little shenanigans they might get up to. Post canon mini episodes if you will.

Most of these "theories" don't match up to some older ones I may have done, but when something comes to an end, there isn't much to theorize about in the future. Plus I've been under the weather for a little while TwT So I don't have many braincells online currently. But thanks for seeing through these last "theories" and thoughts I had. Maybe in the future, if I come up with some other insane idea I'll share it. Until then, I'll be seeing you later >:3

Have a cookie for getting through all of this bs XD 🍪

[lilbirdblu]

obligatory disclaimer to all the "its just mc eggs its not that deep" people that this is about characters. we are allowed to post character analysis, even ones that arent positive, about fictional characters no matter what medium theyre from. this is 10000% about the characters, not the admins and there are moments i may not know about since i cant watch every pov but heres my thoughts on the sunny/leo "beef"

which it feels wrong, at this point, to even call it beef when its mostly one sided on leo's part and the adults are failing both sunny and leo

does leo have the right to be wary about the new eggs? 100%, absolutely

does that excuse her recent treatment of sunny? no

is leo to blame for her behavior? well, no, she's a child

do i think q!foolish and q!tubbo are good fathers? yes

did they both drop the ball in regards to this situation and should have handled it better? yes, but that doesnt mean its not too late now

again, i dont fault leo for being distrustful and cautious of the new eggs, its more than reasonable given what shes gone through. im glad she's warmed up to pepito and i think it's a good choice on foolish's part to not force her to interact with anyone she doesnt like while still encouraging her to try. that being said, i think he should say something to leo about how she has recently been treating sunny because it is quickly getting to the point where it is bullying, not "beef"

to be fair, maybe he hasnt seen [in character/roleplay] the extent to which she has treated sunny, and obviously none of the parents are aware of the baby fight club, but even then, someone should say something to leo if they see behavior similar to how leo treated sunny after the fight [although i believe foolish and roier are two of the only people she will actually listen to /neu] with that being said, i dont think foolish takes it very seriously and at the end day has a rather "well what can you do" type of mentality about it.

we know that leo is stubborn and can be a little hard headed, which is one of the reasons why i personally love her, but its been toeing the line in regards to sunny and i feel as though she crossed it during the baby fight club. sunny has been trying to take leo's feelings into consideration [among other eggs, such as tallulah, who excuse it as distrust of the new eggs despite being warm/neutral to both em and pepito while being harsher to sunny].

the fact that the fight ended and sunny was trying to leave when leo blocked the exit and continued to hit sunny shows that her feelings towards sunny are more than just apprehension. even ramon, leo's triplet, felt the need to step to in and separate them out of concern for sunny's well being.

i can also see the nuance of leo's behavior: its the first time where she has disliked someone and been forced to be in close vicinity/interact with them, and no one has taught her that this sort of behavior isnt ok so how is she supposed to know better?

its not an excuse by any means, but it doesnt make it any less bullying than it is. this is where the adults are failing not just sunny [by being bystanders] but theyre failing leo, too.

and sure, disagreements and fights between the eggs is interesting.. when it comes from both parties but when you have one egg--one child--who doesnt want to be around another egg child in consideration of their feelings while the other egg child vandalizes their things and hits them to the point of almost being downed--that's not a disagreement. thats bullying.

does leo have to like sunny? no

do i think that they have more in common and similar feelings of loneliness that they both dont realize, which could make way for a friendship? yes

would i mind if leo never warms up to sunny? no

its realistic. sometimes kids just.. dont get along and thats ok, its good to teach children that we arent going to get along with everyone or even like them [and not everyone is going to like us and we shouldnt try to force them to], but its also important to teach children that not liking somebody doesnt make it okay to treat them poorly or bully them.

in fact, this would be a really good situation in which both leo and sunny can learn the aforementioned, especially since their fathers are good friends that enjoy one another's company so i dont see them stopping hangouts anytime soon so leo and sunny will hopefully learn to, at the very least, be civil with one another. i hope this is the direction the story goes because a bully arc is one of the last things i personally want to watch

i understand its hard, especially when their first languages are not one that they share, but thats what the qsmp is all about, isnt it? coming together in spite of language barriers

im hoping the sunny/leo situation takes a turn for the better, even if it takes time to get to a point where they are mostly indifferent to one another w/o excessive antagonizing

with all that said, i will always have faith in the admins to give us their best, even if the outcome isnt what we wanted or expected

[flmed]

svelte brows are furrowing altogether whilst a deprecate scoff emitting from his lips–––––shaking his head in the unexpected incertitude upon the other's innocuous question, debating whether he was genuinely befuddled on implied accusation, or rather feigning to be granted with freedom he wants. perhaps it is the latter, because nobody truly wants to be in the other's position; informally interrogate with someone he barely knows, yet seems to know him better than anyone

saul did provide enough, without force as maurizio would have expected–––––violence isn't the answer, even the war has started 'tween the cartels &. mafias; for the indulgence @tocook cooks, or is he just a bystander that doesn't know the aftermath?

❝  that means you're willingly aiding the massacre by providing the goods, ❞  shrugging, johann loathes to repeat himself, however it seems the other person is truly mystified by the indirect position he puts himself in. it isn't his fault that the substance he brewed himself had caused unwanted conflict that shouldn't have had happened if only the black sheep didn't indulge himself into competition, which cost him his own life; both of them are following the demands &. the market, but one has monopolized market .. it is no longer capitalism they are talking about, but the consequence of its greed,

❝  that's how my insufferable boss see you. maurizio is an old-fashioned guy, he doesn't like how people turned up just like you, just like his dead son. take my advice, it's for the best that you stop the production for awhile, so my family won't throw you to the fishes. i know that the cartels would probably hunt you down, but maybe i can provide you some protection .. without my people knowing it, obviously. ❞ 

jesse said, ‘ what’s that supposed to mean ? ‘ from    𝑴𝑶𝑹𝑩𝑰𝑫 ᶜᵘʳᶤᵒˢᶤᵗʸ .   : accepting.

[blu3b3rrin]

this week's what i read!! again uh. mainly skip beat cuz i binged a whole arc

this week was ch39 to 105

OKAY SO. the suddenly a love story arc. ITS SO GOOD?? so tight, so dramatic, no chapter where i felt like 'ugh what filler im soooo bored' and tbh, not even one PAGE where i wasnt hooked. i get why this is 300chs and going now. its just that good.

i loved the way shos relationship w kyoko was portrayed!! they know too much ab each other and this is one of the ones where i GET bystanders wondering whats going on between them cuz sho is actually causing misunderstandings by appearing on set every ten minutes to see some b-list actor. also kyoko is an acting prodigy i LOVE LOVE LOOOOOVE her shes so cool.... never badmouth my girl shes the best char here

sry for low quality images ^^"

and yeah tsuruga whatever. i didnt like how he made kyoko's attempted assault thing all about himself. sho doing it made sense cuz hes a prick and of course he would but i expected better from tsuruga. he didnt even ask if shes okay afterwards and she made her apologize (iirc)!! stupid ml.

my faves r probably director ogata and yashiro theyre the best chars after kyogoat

my photodump from this section <33

other than that, i didn't read much this week rip. (lie!! i read a lot but nothing super good. anyways heres my recs)

trapped in an instant: oneshot

i think the main characters development in one chapter is okay, i read mostly for the plot. basically a high school boy gets the power to stop time and does pretty much all that youd expect, cheating in school and sports, reading manga in class, and stopping time so he's never late for school. he cheats off the chronically bullied class #1, who, when he's going to school, he spots mid-suicide attempt. the entire oneshot is him figuring out whether or not to continue time, knowing she's about to die, and that now, it would in part be his fault, since he could've stopped it. pretty good 8/10 its like a 25min read at most so. go for it!!

without the male lead, my grades are doomed!!

33 chapters out so far, and i really enjoyed it!! somewhat stupid fl but i think in this case it's ACTUALLY endearing and not just 'ugh why is she like this'. jiseo's world is almost exactly like that of a manhwa she reads, except that she's failing all her exams whilst manhwa-version jiseo has been 2nd place after the male lead (yiwon) since first year. she makes a wish on the moon to be more like that jiseo, to forever follow behind yiwon (and of course, truck-kun grants that latter wish).

some aspects of why yiwon trusts jiseo are. convoluted. i think his backstory is great, i dont get why he trusts jiseo even after hearing about the award thing. the early-on stolen wallet plot is also pretty stupid but i think chapter like. 15 ish? onwards are pretty good. will see how it goes since she IS doing the typical 'i need to stick to the plot!!' thing a bit but as of literally ch32 it became 'i need to stick to (the larger strokes of) the plot (excluding when my friends (anyone) gets hurt bc i love them)' which is. still not awesome.

ml is a total loser in love if thats what ur into ^_^ fl. does her best adrien agreste impression ever she JUST noticed maybe he likes her in c33 and even then goes 'nah hes just a friend' which might make me mad if it keeps going but i have my fingers CROSSED that it wont.

img quality found dead in the bronx

art is. very similar to 'my life as a webnovel' tbh. including character design.

final rec is fall in love, you false angels

i think everyone into shoujo should read this, if they haven't already. its beyond beautiful, both the art and the characters. im tired so ill rant later but the latest few chapters after the rejected confession have been straight peak bc yeah it really IS that awkward lol

[abboudlawfirm-tucson]

What Questions to Ask After a Car Accident?

A car accident throws your whole world into chaos. One minute, you're cruising down the road; the next, you're dealing with insurance, police reports, and maybe even injuries. It’s overwhelming. But to protect yourself legally and financially, you must ask the right questions—at the scene and in the following days.

Here’s a breakdown of what to ask, when, and why it matters.

At the Scene: What Should You Ask First?

Your priority is safety, but once you’ve assessed the situation, the right questions can make a huge difference in your case later.

Is anyone hurt?

This is the first and most important question. Even if injuries seem minor, adrenaline can mask pain. Ask the other driver, passengers, and anyone else involved. If anyone is injured, call 911 immediately.

Can I get your name, contact information, and insurance details?

You’ll need the other driver’s full name, phone number, address, license plate number, and insurance policy details. If they refuse, document what you can and wait for the police.

Are there any witnesses?

Bystanders can make or break a case. If someone saw the accident, get their name and contact info. Their statement could help if there’s a dispute about what happened.

Can I take photos of the accident?

Snap pictures of vehicle damage, skid marks, road conditions, and license plates. Take wide shots of the entire scene to capture traffic signals, signs, and other details if possible.

What do I remember about the crash?

Before the stress fogs your memory, take a moment to write down or record a voice memo of exactly what happened. Include details like speed, direction, and any unusual road conditions.

When Talking to Law Enforcement

Once the police arrive, their report can be key evidence. Here’s what to ask:

Can I get a copy of the police report?

This document can help when dealing with insurance companies and attorneys. If the report won’t be ready immediately, ask where and when you can obtain it.

How do I get the officer’s contact details?

Get the name and badge number of the officer handling your case. You'll know who to contact if there are follow-up questions later.

Was anyone issued a ticket?

If the other driver was cited for a traffic violation, it could be valuable in proving fault. Make sure you note whether any citations were issued.

After You Leave the Scene: What Next?

Now comes the aftermath—insurance claims, medical visits, and possibly legal action.

Should I see a doctor even if I feel fine?

Yes. Some injuries, like whiplash or internal trauma, don’t show symptoms immediately. A medical exam creates a record that could be important if you experience delayed symptoms.

How do I file an insurance claim?

Every insurance company has its process. Ask your provider what information they need and whether you’ll need an adjuster to inspect your vehicle.

Should I talk to the other driver’s insurance company?

Be careful. The other driver’s insurer may try to minimize their payout. It’s best to consult a lawyer before making a statement to another party’s insurance company.

If You’re Considering Legal Action

Some accidents are straightforward, but others require legal help—especially if you’ve been injured. Here’s what to ask an attorney:

Do I have a case?

Not every accident results in a claim, but you may be entitled to compensation if you suffered injuries or financial loss due to another driver’s negligence.

What damages can I recover?

Depending on your case, you may be able to recover medical expenses, lost wages, property damage, and even pain and suffering. A lawyer can break down what applies to you.

How much does it cost to hire an attorney?

Most personal injury attorneys, like those at Car Accident Attorney of Abboud Law Firm, work on a contingency fee basis—meaning they don’t get paid unless you win your case.

How long will my case take?

Timelines vary. Some cases settle quickly, while others take months or even years. Your attorney can give you a realistic estimate based on the details of your accident.

Questions You Might Not Think to Ask

What if the other driver was uninsured?

If the other driver doesn’t have insurance, you may have options through your own uninsured/underinsured motorist coverage.

What should I avoid saying?

Anything that sounds like an admission of fault—like “I didn’t see them�� or “I feel fine”—could hurt your claim later. Stick to the facts.

What if I was partially at fault?

Even if you share some blame, you might still be eligible for compensation. Laws vary by state, so a lawyer can clarify your rights.

How do I document my recovery?

Keep records of medical visits, treatments, prescriptions, and how your injuries affect your daily life. This can strengthen your case.

Should I settle or go to court?

Most car accident cases settle out of court, but if a fair settlement isn’t possible, litigation might be the best route. Your attorney can guide you on what’s in your best interest.

Final Thoughts

Navigating a car accident claim can feel like trying to solve a puzzle with missing pieces. But asking the right questions helps you put everything together—ensuring you get the medical care, financial support, and legal guidance you need.

If you’re unsure where to start, Car Accident Attorney of Abboud Law Firm is here to help. Don’t wait to get the support you need—reach out today for a consultation.

[velvetporcelain]

listen to your anger, but don’t live in it

i hate the words he chooses —-

“What’s eating you up?” —- ew please leave me alone,

at this point i am so far ahead of him that i can’t even translate my feelings into words that he could even understand or deem logical,

everything with me is “starry-eyed and far fetched” with him—- and that’s quoted

i am fucking resentful, neglected and almost malnourished, and i just really don’t want to take responsibility for it, so i can easily say it is not his fault,

— but then again that’s how i got here, by not making him take accountability- but what does that look like to me? And why the fuck do I have to ask him to speak to me as a lover?

fuck this is so frustrating, i am always circling back to the same hard points, last night i kinda found the silver living in romanticizing things —- it was bed time and his intentions were not there, the way we touch backs and he doom scrolls while i fantasize or write about a lover is sickening to me,

and the only real fantasy i can put into play is me being dominant, I can’t get him to lead, but everywhere else outside of me he can lead, and lead well — what the fuck is the problem? am I still looking for a father figure? — no, not really—because maybe I am not considering that he can lead me everywhere else but sex, fantasy and emotion— I want emotional mature man teach me stability and teach how to harness its intelligence,

sometimes I am afraid there is a major gap between us, both very intelligent beings in very different areas, —-

i am definitely frustrated but trying to regulate it all into a bystander.

I didn’t do anything today, i dropped the boys off at school and i laid on the floor of my office, all three of my cats ran to me, laid right next to me— ah my angel babies, i felt wanted and loved as i watched his neck fur vibrate as he purred with satisfaction, — i started to fall asleep and then convinced myself to go sleep in bed— some days i am afraid something is wrong with me, some days i feel like i deserve this stillness— i got in my bed and only one cat followed me— the one who worships me, who sees me as queen, i knew he would come —- he never disappoints me.

i hope the sleep was healing.

-x

[ratlombot2]

THE MASKED.- My own bullshit exposed!

THE MASKED.- My own bullshit exposed!

I often say how much I hate macho toxic culture. Then stupidly do or say something toxicly bullshit macho - sometimes in the same bloody sentence. But I AM trying to be better than that.

This is hard to write but if I really want a 'safer for women' and less 'toxic male' world. Then I have to bury my pride, lose the ego and make it start with me.

So as part of my commitment to. "Ruthlessly and brutally kicking the crap out of myself in public when I fall below my own standards" Let's compare the macho masquerade to the 'beatle on its back' reality.

Part 1: The bullshit disguise:

I refuse to talk to or be in the same room as my ex Ever again. Even if that means missing the weddings of my children and the christenings of my grandchildren. She will never be forgiven. I will make my final words on my deathbed cursing her name. And if I die before she does - keep her the hell away from my funeral!!

Part 2: The hard to admit reality.

Even if Anger and Forgiveness were not a factor. Going to a "her" public event still seems like asking too much.

Baring in mind how anxious and uncomfortable I can be an a normal crowd anyway.

But even if I was having 'a good mental health day' I am still being asked to face a load of pain and humiliation.

To go to an event where I get judged, pitied and patronised.

Going to an event, Alone, In my best charity shop clothes, and standing awkwardly around people who don't want me there.

While my ex and her new bloke are dressed nicely, seeing them smile and hold each other's hands. Seeing the man I was dumped for, who will be thinner, better looking, more successful and more emotionally stable than me. Being reminded what a failure and how much of a loser I am. Have it rubbed in my face that I was "never good enough", And having to force a smile as I have to suffer the charity, of the odd social equivalent, of being patronisingly patted on the head.

And have to face all that, (again alone), for hours, Before having to take some early public transport, to look at a wall at "home", with no one to confide in what a nightmare I just endured. I do not think that's a fair ask! I am already defeated enough, I have suffered enough. I should not have to have extra helpings of humiliation, humble N' shit pie.

I am not trying to punish anyone, I just want to survive. Maybe it's not about revenge, maybe it's just self-defence? Maybe it's not pride or incel-style nastiness. - Maybe that's just the mask I'm using because I don't want to look that pathetically helpless?

In all honesty. The idea TERRIFIES me. I am shit scared!

I might be a coward, - but this seems like a hell of a lot of courage that is being asked for, by relative stranger bystanders who do not have to pay any, not a single teardrop penny, of the emotional costs. Why am I a bad person for not wanting to eat more pain?

The Answer:

I did this.

It is my fault:

I invited people to see me as a "bad person",

Because part of our shared, awful "boys don't cry" legacy is that, for men, being seen as an "Evil Man" is far more acceptable than being seen as a "vulnerable, honest and hurt human being".

[aberrational]

4. When scared, does your OC fight, flee, freeze or fawn?

Edgy/misc OC ask meme ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

"Fight, obviously," the Perfect Person chuckles, raising its paws up in fists in the traditional cartoon 'Put em up!' gesture. "Firstly, what is there to scare me? Nothing could physically harm me and I don't value anything at all in this wretched life. What could be leveraged against me? But secondarily, in the off chance that something does frighten me, I could just trounce it. Obliterate it, even! Remove it from the memory of everything and anything it may have graced, rebuild a world where whatever torments me never existed in the first place! I could yank their limbs off until they're only connected to the midsection by threads, I could, I-- I'm getting told to put a cork in it, sorry! But, you know, you get the gist. I've gone on and on about this all before, the torture I could impart and all."

In incidents in which the Perfect Person is terrified, it cannot comprehend anything but fawn. Despite the posturing, it's fairly easy to rattle provided it has something or someone to care about. Back in the time where it was often, every other week, tormented by some new event, it was only so vulnerable as it was obsessed with trying to solve and fix the world to keep up appearances and to gain the approval of other people as it did, and still does, desperately yearn for attention. Thus, every time something went wrong it would spiral horribly about failing those it cared for, potentially hurting them in the process as it often faced world ending incidents, and looking horribly stupid in a way it would never be able to strike from its records (God keeps score, unfortunately). It is actually rather adverse to using violence against anything that is important (often reserving it to assault random bystanders whom it does not care for or whom it thinks are offhandedly evil in a way a good punch is enough to solve) as its fear of failing in shows of strength is massive, so rarely would it ever fight. Instead, it often turns to the nearest person is trusts and begins to beg for assistance. Just tell me how to fix it, command me, guide my hand, I can do it all if you just tell me what I'm supposed to be doing, I can't do this alone, I'm too stupid, you're more clever than me- and if you were wrong, that's your fault, not mine. It feels very lost, you see. It's used to, and was created to, be controlled entirely by another person with clear intention. Since it has been tossed to act practically on its own in interpersonal situations, it becomes frantic and clingy, unable to do much of anything at all without explicit permission from others. It also does this due to the inability to cope with being wrong, thus preferring that all situations be the responsibility of other people who use it as a tool. Don't blame the hammer for the head wound! In a lot of causes, too, fawn will manifest as adoration towards the villain. It's preferred method of rehabilitating villains and saving worlds from evil actions has been to try and seduce malicious parties, both because it believes its love to be purifying but also due to its known obsession with witnessing damage unfolding before it. Best case scenario they stop killing people, but worse case scenario he gets to giggle on the sidelines while they take axes to heads while feeling as if its not his responsibility to stop because, well, it's bad when strangers commit violence but he knows the goodness in their heart so it's quite alright, recovery isn't linear, maybe they'll be better next week, I'll keep an eye on it.

In short; find something that bothers it and you have your very own loyal puppy dog who will do anything you ask of it as it acts neurotic and insane in the ensuing panic.

[powermove102]

okay so yes, its taking me ages between each tier, BUT it time for

D TIER - Suck it up

Martha Nielsen

For someone who people view as pretty central to the narrative… she ain’t in the narrative all that much? (it’s Jonas’ memory of/ longing for her that makes her significant) (reiterating that this is NOT meant to be an in-depth character analysis… it’s mostly an excuse to call out people’s bitch moves and major tragedies)

So childhood seems cool overall, maybe parental tension, maybe somewhat absent father moment, but all in all not bad

Here’s where it starts to be fucked tho… so she basically starts a relationship with Jonas (he kissed her at the lake, then they do the dirty at her house, etc.), then literally the next day (or very soon after that) you find out his dad just suicided, and now you don’t see him much/ he isn’t there for the start of school so you just… move on from him?? For his best friend??? Literally THE other guy in your friend group (who is not your brother)??? I’m sorry but this does not scream ‘we have a very deep and profound relationship’ to me. It screams ‘I was going to start a relationship but you’re not conveniently there rn so bye’. Either that or she just a bitch. 

If you disagree with my take then… okay have fun with that

Then she does take a lot of the ‘missing people’ trauma onto herself (Mikkel, Ulrich, Jonas, her mom’s basically missing with the amount she distances herself) so I’ll give you that

And then all the funky messed-up shit with older Jonas, yada yada

And what a tragic death, killed whilst she was trying to be saved, shot dead by a random old man/ literally her (ex?)boyfriend who’s convinced himself this is all for you… can you tell it’s a pain to piece this together from her point of view? Congrats you earned yourself a ‘doomed by the narrative’ out of ‘dooming the narrative’

Egon Tiedemann

*the lil guys from Gnomeo and Juliet* A cheat! A cheat! That’s what you are! Oof!

Honestly the amount of people I am saying/ will say this for… I’m getting tired and this is only D Tier… oof…

There is no excuse for cheating my guy. Also big cheater man asked his gf if the baby was his. Girl, not everyone is like you! (I mean in this case yes she is but that’s not the point)

ENYWAYS man has no wife anymore pretty much (which is like?? Technically not completely his fault so I would feel bad for him except if she knew what you did it WOULD completely be your fault so nope, I get to keep my pity for another day), so he is SAD 

Oh yeah he had a spooky encounter with a random lady/ his daughter buuuuutttt for a universe full of crazy quirky cosmic happenstances, his was relatively mild

Then we skip STRAIGHT to when he is all grown up (I mean old, but) and he has ANOTHER crazy quirky cosmic happenstance that relates to… earphones. Ya. … . imma just move on 

Then he has all that drama with Ulrich both old and young and i guess that was odd but he never fully went into depth with it and never figured out what was going on really

Ofc, him dying at the hand of his own daughter (who was actually doing everything to PREVENT his heath) is giving him quite a few points (literally the thing that saved him from E tier), especially since they were just about starting to reconcile and restart their relationship :( oh well, you don't get a rating for making me smh at all the cheating

Franziska Doppler

Did in fact participate in the missing people / overall weird stuff happening shenanigans but let’s face it she was mostly an innocent bystander that didn’t do much (we love a queen who doesn’t do much, never lift a finger, that’s not ur job babes)

So let’s just skip forward to the relevant bit: Old Man Jonas takes you for a spin in his lil time machine to save you from “The Apocalypse™”©® and he drops you off in fRICKEN 1888!!!! Which is just btw the funniest part of the whole show, I’ve already ranted about this before but I absolutely love the implications

Oh well now you’re a victorian-era lady and you get to spend more time with your bf, good for u girlie ig

From her loyalty to Sic Mundus imma just assume she is chill with all this, they’re pretty much making the best out of a bad sitch-EA-shun

But she basically never gets to see her entire family again. Yikes, feels bad, girlie

So not the best and not the worst, well done on receiving a slay/queen 

Agnes Nielsen

Basically had no parents, since I doubt Bartosz wanted anything to do with the kids after he found out just how he got got by Adam (not even his marriage and kids were safe from those grimy, time-meddling hands), but was raised by their nanny I think, which looked ok

Got recruited and pretty much her whole life is dedicated to Adam’s shenanigans now

She has to have Tronte with The Unknown and take care of him all by herself which sucks, but again she is doing it for Adam because she thinks its the right thing to do or smth

She is honestly just such a pawn, like, her telling Noah about the notebook pages is what makes him kill Claudia (who was ok with it because she knew it needed to happen, but still), and THEN, right when Noah finds out this whole schtick was a lie and he is never getting back to his family (cry), SHE MURDERS HIM like ffs I excuse a lot of behaviour that is done For The Cause but usually they are manipulated/ tricked into it somehow, but Agnes is just so willy-nilly following whatever Adam says, I’m just so done rn

And then she just leaves her son to fend for himself. Like sure it all works out for the best for him (because he didn’t want her to be their anyway) but that is not an EXCUSE madam, especially when she left him to just go back to Adam in the future

Who knows what happened to her after that but she is a PAWN /out of/ a single game of checkers

Silja Tiedemann

So the first 5 years of her life were a bit iffy (her mother was Hannah after all, no father (unless her ma had a mans that knew how to take care of kids, but probably not because then she wouldn’t have all the attention on herself), no siblings and probably no friends (and she got that face scar somehow)) and then she was just thrown into 2041 without any warning after growing up in the 80’s

Therefore a lot of the memories of her mother were likely lost (actually that’s a good thing because then she was raised by Elizabeth, so, mother upgrade x100) and although she had to live in a post-apocalyptic cult it sounds like it was pretty chill for her (despite Eli’s likely PTSD behaviour)

Then when Adam fully accepts her into Sic Mundus she just gets to go be Bartosz’s wife (which sounds pretty good, ngl) then she has her kid

I’M CONVINCED SHE KNEW EXACTLY WHAT SHE WAS DOING AND WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN DID YOU SEE HER FACE WHEN SHE SAID HANNO, SHE WAS LIKE GO ON BARTOSZ, STOP ME, I DARE YOU, YEA HE’S GONNA RECRUIT YOU IN THE FUTURE, WHAT ABOUT IT

THEREFORE I don’t know what her relationship was like with him because it seems like he really was in love with her (bro his face when he met her AND his face when she died… it says it all), but if she knew she had to go there and have his kids just to RUIN his LIFE… yeah idk if she loved him

I assume she was actually a decent mother (½ because I’m sure Bartosz tried a lil bit but was overall very much an absent father because of the induced trauma, and ½ because try to tell me Hanno wasn’t the cutest kid, I dare you), and then she DID up and die (Agnes’ first but not last family member kill) which was kinda sad for her and I’M NOT SAYING SHE WANTED TO GIVE BARTOSZ THE TRAUMA but that's exactly the goal she achieved and she did it actively, knowingly and willingly

So overall she cannot really complain in comparison (if you look at the absolute malarkey others had to deal with), so she gets a whohurt/myboybartosz

as always, this is just my opinion, and lmk if I missed anything. this one was annoying, imma nap for another 6 months before posting the next part

Dark Schmerz-o-meter analysis

AKA the comprehensive tier list of pain and suffering (fun!)

Characters are all ranked on a scale of S-E and are all relative to one another (yes, you can be sad and still go in E tier). To reiterate, they are NOT ranked based on how much I like them, how good their character is written, or suchlike (although there may be some correlation), this list ONLY takes into account how hard their life was, how much suffering they have had to endure, etc. Points are indeed taken away if you are the one actively causing the sadness (how much depends on e.g. whose idea it was/ how much enthusiasm you did it with).

(also I'm only referring to Adam's-World versions of the characters, unless otherwise specified, because we just have way more information about them)

Feel free to disagree/ counter-argue, this is just my list and my analysis (all for fun).

(OK I'll stop stalling) So why don't we get started with the best of the worst:

E Tier - You don't know what pain is

Hannah Kahnwald

She starts having the affair whilst she is STILL MARRIED (she was unawares that Michael was literally penning his suicide note whilst she was having a smooch with Ulrich) - she also has the inability to love imo, she just has the ability to love attention

She’s not even that good a mother either, she kinda leaves Jonas alone and is only really sad because she no longer has a mans to give her all that attention (PLUS her fling left her too, and then she has the AUDACITY to ask (not ask - FORCE) Alexander to DESTROY HIM for choosing to focus on his MISSING SON instead of HER!!!!!!

And then when Jonas leaves she’s just more attention-deprived so she thought about offing herself but then thought well if I’m dead no-one can pay attention to meeeeeee so decided against it 

Then Jonas returns (33 years older but it is still her SON who displays AFFECTION towards her) and as soon as she finds out about time travel she’s like you know what this means? An opportunity to find more MEN, and she commits THEFT even though Jonas reeeeally needed that machine (she only cares about herself), and proceeds to go to Ulrich ONLY TO TELL HIM SHE HATES HIM BECAUSE HE TRIED TO SAVE HIS SON I MEAN WHO DOES THAT

yes I am well aware that he was unable to say he loves her when she did but I will get more in depth with that later and I mean, come on, man has other priorities, could you really not get him out of prison???? so he can save his son???????

And then obviously she promptly moves on to the first man she sees (married, but she doesn’t care of course) (it’s the guy she reported Ulrich to way back when in the future/past, but she doesn’t care of course) AND HAS THE AUDACITY TO SAY SHE LOST EVERYTHING like MADAM you did not care about your husband, your boyfriend only mattered because he gave you attention, and your SON has RETURNED with all the LOVE he has LEFT from this CAR CRASH of a reality and you RUN AWAY FROM HIM WHILST HE IS ASLEEP AND YOU SAY YOU LOST EVERYTHING MA’AM YOU ARE TO BLAME FOR EVERYTHING I ACTUALLY CAN’T WITH THIS WOMAN-

I’m convinced she has a soft spot for kids because i can’t imagine what other reason she really has for having Silja (she obviously never loved Egon) so she has her and then she gets taken to Jonas and PRETENDS like NOTHING ever happened, like she didn't abandon him when he returned to her to go have a kid with someone else and she didn't steal his most important possession

And then YES she is tragically killed by her own son (which is usually a trait of someone very high up on the list (RIP in pepperonis Bartosz you are loved) but I don't care, she deserved it, otherwise the family tree would be 100 times more kaput if she was allowed to populate it even more, especially if she still has access to the machine) and that’s it, she gets a shut up/die

Ines Kahnwald

So people seem to be opinionated both ways with this one but here we go

I guess she WAS doing everything for Michael’s own good - he rocks up with no family or anything to speak of, he’s real scared and sad and she does in fact take him in when otherwise he would have been homeless jobless lifeless so yay Ines

And yeah I guess you could say it’s hard on her when he’s distant from her and everything but like? What did you expect? That’s not your real son bro???

And then she has to deal with his suicide (but again, he was kinda distant anyway it seems) and you get alienated by Hannah (honestly a good thing) but all in all it is nothing in comparison so you get a meh/maybe I don't actually care all that much, Hannah has taken all my energy

Doris Tiedemann

You did cheat on your husband. Idc who, why, with who, whatever, if you cheat then you a bitch for that and i have nothing more to say on the matter

Yeah then Agnes goes missing, then they potentially reunite, it’s all tame in comparison let’s be honest, idk/idc

Anyone else who I do not mention in any tier is either not a particularly significant character or they do not compare :) stay tuned for D Tier if you want

[gaymollusc]

“feeling like shit just i just want them back” but its friends that are well alive

[kaiwewi]

Some more Guilty Conscience please!! (Though now I feel guilty, because this is going to HURT me) haha, get it?

Thanks for the request! Lol, pain it is, and there's enough for everyone xD

Guilty Conscience #4

[Masterlist: Renegade Rescue Squad] [Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]

Synopsis: Other Villain wants Villain's help with experimenting on the hero. Things take an unexpected turn.

tw: whump, captivity, talk about torture, knife, blood

All of this was Villain’s fault.

The hero had been caught in his trap – a cursed contraption he had built more for show than anything, convinced it would never activate, let alone outperform its purpose. But he’d miscalculated, and his naivety did not absolve him from his crime.

His trap, his responsibility. His guilty conscience.

He wasn’t an idle bystander – he was an accomplice.

Other Villain leaned closer, half turned towards him in something almost resembling a loose hug. The hand that wasn’t sitting on his shoulder slithered down his torso and came to rest above his hip, on the small leather sheath on his belt. Other Villain flipped the latch open and pulled out his knife.

He didn’t dare try to snatch it back as they held it up in the space between their faces.

“I’d like your assistance,” Other Villain said. “I need someone who can handle a blade, and rumour has it you’re some kind of surgeon or something.” With a final pat on the back, they removed their arm from his shoulders, grabbed one of his wrists, placed the knife firmly into his hand, and closed his fingers around the hilt. “So be a darling and skin one of the subject’s forearms for me.”

“You want me to—” Skin the subject’s… No way. He couldn’t – he wouldn’t. “Why?”

“Just an experiment, for science.” Other Villain smiled sweetly, glancing back at the hero. “I want to apply acid to both their arms and contrast deep tissue damage.”

The poor little hero shrank back as far as their bonds allowed.

“Wait,” they cried, voice raw and desperate, choking on their sobs, “you don’t have to do that. Please… I’ll talk, okay? Yeah? I’ll tell you… whatever you want to know, I promise, I’ll tell you. Everything… So don’t do that, please, don’t do that… please, just stop…”

Other Villain laughed.

“You misunderstood, birdie. I’m so sorry,” they said, and did nothing to hide their vicious grin, “I’m not all that interested in information. Fact is: you’re not going anywhere, and when I finally get to interrogating you later, I’m sure you’ll still be just as eager to share.”

Villain couldn’t breathe. The hero’s pitiful wailing may as well have been a punch to his solar plexus. The knife rested heavy in his hand like the weight of every bad decision he’d ever made in life.

He met the hero’s eyes and found that he couldn’t look away, no matter how much he willed himself to not stare at the tears rolling down puffy cheeks, drawing lines through the carnage of half-dried blood splattered across a face which had been reduced to an ashen canvas painted red and purple.

For the first time, the little hero looked truly shattered.

Maybe hope and Other Villain simply couldn’t coexist.

“Let me show you something, pretty bird.” Other Villain plucked a smart phone from their pocket and began tapping and swiping at the screen. “No. No. No…. Ah, found it!

“See, that’s what a chemical burn looks like. Nice, isn’t it? – I took that picture last year, when one of my guests had an unfortunate accident with my hydrochloric acid…. Well, at least it was all rather insightful, if you get my drift.” They swiped across the screen again. “There, half the skin on her hand practically melted away and we could see the ligaments and muscle fibres. And this” – they pointed at something, paused to zoom into the picture, then held the phone up in front of their captive’s face again – “this is a knuckle bone and here—”

Other Villain’s words cut off in a breathless gurgle.

The phone clattered to the floor.

Villain pulled his knife out of Other Villain’s neck and gave the blade a curious look.

He’d just stabbed them, hadn’t he? He couldn’t remember doing that – neither the action nor the intent – but here they were: Villain with the bloody knife clutched in his hand; Other Villain bleeding profusely; the smartphone on the floor next to Villain’s feet; and the hero on the verge of passing out in their seat.

“Not a surgeon,” he said softly into the sudden silence, “I’m a paramedic.”

[Part 5]

[wcrfcres]

punishment takes form in dark umbers , sweet rhythm of her voice concealing wrath the can topple strongholds . northern lord feels all eyes on him , standing with only a dagger , in the middle of the fighting grounds , knights , sellswords , and bystanders hollering for his savage , inevitable end . the fault is his , to be devoured by his own selfish desires and his carelessness with the sweet reach wine . towering stature or not , a limit existed and the evening prior proved him painfully right . as always. ❝ lady dayne , ❞ greeting not exaggerated , catered with the appropriate amount of charm . with the morning light falling upon them , even the slightest line of pretense will douse him with insincerity . alaric is anything but , and he will not shy away from his fault no matter how grave they may be . ❝ you're right , it is . ❞ gaze follows where his attention is directed , making vexation a rather curious sight to see while he tempers with the vivid ache weighing on his temples . the lord mormont is not as sly as she may assume him to be . his disappearance was not because she was any sort of lacking , or unattractive . it's the way discomfort seeps on his features when he stands in a crowded room for long . if he had gotten a better sense of his personal tribulations , he might have stayed longer than she want him to . ❝ well , i— ❞ struck before an apology could be delivered , the northern lord was caught off guard . perhaps such is the way of the dornish ? their fiery passions casted upon those who gets in its way .

but the resemblance , too , was uncanny , so much so that he almost allowed fondness to wash over his features . instead , the most childish of displays brought forth . ❝ if i had known my captivity meant more to you than our combined enjoyment , i'd have stayed , lady laina . ❞ maybe it was a bad idea to tease someone so early in the morning . or when he's half focus on his the pulsing in his head , and maybe having to dodge a physical retaliation from the lady before him . but annoyance does thread between a very fine line between despicable and amusement . he'll take the risk , what else is there if he does not?

@wcrfcres * alaric mormont

[...] They called her brother the greatest swordsman in Dorne, her sister, his equal. And they had a saying in the Westerosi courts for those like Laina Dayne, did they not? The spare. In truth, she wanted nothing but attention from the tourney victor last night, and perhaps a story to retell in words of her own prose, fabricated for a tale she could tell to her attendants and pen-pals. In truth, she didn't feel like she was what they called her to be here until he left her standing in the same spot with all her warmth fading into a dark cloud, waiting for a bear that did not come back. She made note of that new bad habit she was forming: to stand still and struck frozen in the face of her faults, biting her lip and feeling foolish. A better courtier would take the blow gracefully, but she had always been a tyrant prone to giving into her emotions; she'd ignore the tears which manifested, ignore how she stalked off for another drink, or three that night. Gratitude came in waves when she found solace in another, inspiring rejuvenation that numbed her happy. Yet, all hope for a good day withered at the sight of him. Her own rotten anger seethed from her like Dorne's heat waves; on the surface, jaw tense, all bitten tongues and nerves unspooling in her chest like something dark as the Stranger. " Oh, Lord Mormont, " melodious cadence, a mask is worn; as pretty as court demands its decorum. " The morning feast is that way, " she should bite her tongue, but, " I understand it must be difficult to find given how far your stupid fat head is up your, " and so she bites her tongue, attempts a smile. " Well, the seven blesses us with other gifts, don't they? "

[manilovetumblerusernames]

WASSUP ITS 3 AM N INSOMNIAS A BITCHHH. So in an effort to cure it ive written a fic. If u can call it that. Its more like a character study? Idk i jus wanted to write abt sad boi mic :( . Apologies if this is terrible, im super out of practise with writing and this is my first ever fic also im not doing any proofreading on this i wrote this all in one shot so i hope this isnt incoherent garbage. good luck!

The life of Yamada Hizashi was full of misfortune. In fact, the first tragedy of his life occured right as he entered the world. His cries as he exited his mother’s womb were so loud he had deafened everyone in the room and injured several other innocent bystanders in the area.

Objectively, Yamada knew he couldn’t control it. He was literally a newborn who didn’t even know what a quirk was. Yet that doesn’t stop him from asking himself “why didn’t you just stay quiet?” whenever he looked at himself in the mirror. If he had stayed quiet that day, he probably wouldn’t have been sent to an orphanage. Maybe his parents would have loved him, destructive, hazardous quirk and all.

The second misfortune was his inability to connect with his peers. He was popular, but popularity wasn’t the same as having actual, genuine friends who he could connect with, who he could talk to about anything and everything, who could sit with him in comfortable silence as they simply soaked in each others company, who he could share his deepest darkest secrets and confide his fears and insecurities to. Alas, he would only be known as the class clown. The one people could laugh at. The sunshine to brighten people’s day. It was lonely, being the sun.

Things seemed to change, however, when he entered UA. A tall, larger than life, cloud came by to greet the sun hello and they got on like a house on fire. The rest was history. The two were inseparable. Oboro and Yamada simply getting along like they had known each other since childhood. Yamada wished that was true.

After the sports festival, the sun and cloud duo would meet a shadow. The shadow refused to talk with them, telling them to leave him alone. But they persisted. Eventually Aizawa relented, slowly but surely letting the two drag him into their shenanigans. Finally, the trio was complete.

If people thought Aizawa’s calm, rational, slightly apathetic demeanour would balance out the chaos that was Oboro and Yamada, they were sorely mistaken. The three of them would somehow find themselves in all sorts of ridiculousness that they themselves conjured up. Whether it was getting caught up in a cloudy whirlwind (made by a Yamada-Oboro quirk tag team gone wrong) , a classic food fight (Aizawa started it) or even adopting a stray cat caught in the rain, the three of them went through it all together.

It all came crashing down when The Accident happened. Yamada could still hear his own voice shouting back at him. His own, destructive, hazardous voice. The very same voice that helped bring a building down on his best friend. It rang in the back of his head, like a horrible tinnitus that wouldn’t go away. As he made his way back to his room, his voice morphed, words slowly taking shape, telling him it was his fault that his best friend was sent home in a body bag instead of cheerily running down the pedestrian path. His voice once again ruined his life, making his world crumble around him just like the building had crumbled and fell onto his friend. He couldn’t sleep that night, not daring to close his eyes after he saw the devastated look on Aizawa’s face when he realised his friend was gone. When he realised his cloudy friend’s voice he heard wasn’t real. Yamada wondered what expression Aizawa would make when he inevitably concluded that Yamada was Oboros murderer.

When they returned to school, Yamada clung to Aizawa, refusing to leave his side. He said it was to make sure his friend was alright, but it was more selfish than that. Yamada was afraid. He was afraid that Aizawa would leave, turn his back on him and shut him out, like a blackout curtain. So, Yamada did everything he could to make Aizawa see that he was still okay, that he wasn’t broken, that he was still every bit of the friend he used to be and that he wasn’t plagued by ghostly voices and haunting images whenever the silence grew. Yamada pulled out all the stops, he cracked jokes, fooled around more than usual, tried to include Aizawa in every conversation, watched over him as Aizawa ran himself ragged training after hours.

But it was too much. He’d overcompensated. He was once again too much for people to handle. Yamada could only stand and watch, graduation hat heavy on his head like a crown of sorrow, as he watched his only friend disappear into a sea of people. Now that the cloud was gone, the sun, no longer covered, shone too brightly, and the shadow was chased away, melting into the darkness, never quite touching the light.

[bitterarcs]

The bitterness laced in mere laugh was informative enough; these two could not have a normal interaction, could they? However by all accounts, something dripping in hostility or playfulness was the norm for Reno. What was it about Reno's face — maybe it was his markings, his handsome lips, or some invisible tattoo across his forehead ( that everyone else other than its owner was able to see ) that begged people to lecture. The redhead was being too nice and too lax which said a lot considering he did not hesitate to smash the stupid mouth of a patron who looked at him even remotely funny.

There was a heaviness in the Turk's eyes; the kind of weight which could have gone in either the direction of rolling his eyes or glaring. Reno opted to guard his expression into stony neutrality as he sipped on his caffeinated beverage. Naturally, Midgar's history was an appealing subject considering he lived it, watched it, and hadn't had the time to affect it until he joined ShinRa. He amused Jae-Hyo by playing the role of the ignorant bystander; the only indication he was listening was that he did not immediately leave, even going as far as leaning against the humming machine to ensure he remained in place.

Midgar was a big place. Wall Market alone was home to numerous gangs and wannabe gangs ( just a gang of delinquents ) with members ranging from the age of eleven to forty. Reno had attempted to nibble at the remaining gil that was produced from tricking out girls and gamblers giving their life savings away, but the competition was suffocating and, frankly, annoying. The rest of Midgar had plenty of offer depending how keen and desperate the eye was. At the end of Jae's little tirade, the redhead used the pinky of his free hand to pick at imaginary gunk in his ear . . you know, playing up the image that people saw.

(  ❛  Mah what? ❜  )

Reno knew what mah-jong was, but it was all part of playing into people's illusions. He wiped the tip of his pinky against the trousers of his two-piece suit before taking a noisy slurp of his drink.

(  ❛  Alright, fine, you don't look like a rat. Didn't know I bruised your ego so much. You know what, shit, it's all my fault for behaving like a human. Y'know, humans who have their friends and . . other people they have to interact with. People judge. People trust some, dislike others. Expecting me to braid your hair or somethin'? Frankly, I don't give you much thought at all, and that's better than what I think of most of people. So . . good chat? ❜  )

The redhead was fully expecting another rant or a purposefully aimed kick to send his beverage splashing all over his chest and white button-down. Reno moved away from the vending machine and swirled the cup's contents, letting the steam hit his nose as turquoise eyes focused on Jae's face.

Jae laughs, a quick bark of genuine amusement.

"And here I'd thought being tailored for a bespoke suit and having a four-figure paycheck had made you forget about where you came from," he sighs, pushing onto his splayed knees to take a standing position again.

Reno was a creature of impulse. Whenever the mood struck, it really didn’t matter who was there tagging along for the ride. Much like a raggedy alley cat wandering the streets it thought it owned, his moods could shift from playful to aloof at the drop of a hat.

Jae normally liked cats. Had Reno come along his way in another lifetime, he probably would have beat the crap out of him with a broom.

"You know, this makes me all nostalgic. See, back when Wall Market was run by a much better man rather than an oversized perverted toddler- Well... I actually don't know how much about where you were at the time, but things were pretty good. Saburo wasn’t actually head for all that long and even though everyone you'd ask would've sworn up and down that he’s the man, they didn’t always think that. He won that seat by the skin of his teeth and nearly died doing it. So he becomes head, but there’s still people who aren’t too keen on it — especially since he’s got notions that some people figured were a bit old-fashioned."

Yoon crooks an arm and splays his fingers against the decorative facing of a cup noodle vending machine, tilting his head and looking off into some far-away distance back when shit made sense in the city of sin.

"Aside from the guys that backed Saburo, the two main guys that were in play were Leesang, the second-hand of the guy Saburo won over, and Choi, one of the old guard. Leesang and his group figured they could still hold on to some of what they had before and Choi’s bunch of oldies were the sort that weren’t too keen on any new, young guys coming into power what with them always wanting to change things. Didn’t matter who you were, if you weren’t them, you were just doing it wrong. That didn’t keep them from constantly picking one side or another just to muck with things, though."

The annoyance in his voice is obvious when it came to mentioning Choi and his men, all wrinkled and shriveled up has-beens with faces like a chicken's asshole.

"Now, I didn’t like Leesang because he was the one guy that wasn’t holding to the old ways. Didn’t like the way Saburo wanted to go back with us swearing the old oaths and being bros and shit. And though he was sticking with it publicly, the only brothers he was gonna benefit were the ones who were best at kissing his ass. Choi’s group was even worse. They were just of buncha oldies that were so strung up on spite, they couldn’t do everyone a favor and just die. They liked getting their jollies by making everyone else land in shit."

He glances up at Reno from beneath dark lashes, eyelids falling to half mast with the same lazy intensity a tiger's might before it decides stuffing you in it's jaws might be fun.

"I know for a fact that your never ran with Wall Market's own personal octogenarian club, but man does your general attitude remind me of them. Kinda like you just look down your nose on anyone who's not a part of your special little retiree mah-jong circle."

[muddshadow]

find the word tag

more words to be found!! thank you @spacetimewraithwrites ! in return... @draculinawrites , @emelkae , @kashacreates , @kaiusvnoir , @sleepyowlwrites, @tc-doherty​ , and @blind-the-winds​ ... i am bopping you all gently on the head. and anyone else! feel free to find these words and tag me!

your words ; review , grow , expect , black , glare

INSIDE // trystan

“Did something happen?” he asks me.

I want to reply sarcastically because what a stupid question, but that worried little pucker in his lip makes me hesitate. “Bumped into some old pals today,” I say, shaking off his hand. The words taste like bile. “But you know me. I prefer to run away from all my problems.”

“Who did you—?”

“I’ll tell you later. Don’t wanna bring any bad juju into the syrup, you know?” I grab the Crown Royal by its neck and stand from the counter. “I think you told me that too. Alchemy pulls from your emotions. Or was that about making curses?”

Sebastien isn’t satisfied with my watery response, but he does me the service of dropping the subject.  “It’s both, you ass. Maybe you don’t need the dream syrup. There’s nothing left inside your head.”

“Only my fondness for you.”

“I hope a witch steals that next.”

INTRODUCE // at the bottom of the waterfall

Stirring, thinking, Ysabelle dared another compliment. “Your purging is getting pretty good, too. Is that the school you want to study in?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t decided yet.”

Ysabelle glimpsed meaningfully to Lo, who lounged crooked but comfortable against the far wall, mostly bored but always attentive. Dew collected the floor around them. They narrowed all four eyes at her.

“A smart magician is capable in all schools, of course.” Ysabelle tapped the ladle clean and set it aside. “But you know… purging is especially important right now. Like at the chasms, for instance.”

Louis looked up.

“A terrible idea,” Lo said resolutely.

Ysabelle continued, “It might be a good place for you to learn more of that field. Or other things. Whatever you expect to learn from destruction.”

“You’re really serious? You’ll take me to where I grew up?”

“Well, let’s be fair here, that’s a hefty journey and I’m only considering an introductory trip to the chasms. Strictly educational. Just so you understand how the environment changed after the whole… when I…” Ysabelle cleared her throat. “Seems the draught is ready. Have you readied the papers? Ready the papers.”

INNOCENT // to forget a prince (old draft)

But he didn’t like this stranger asking questions, and he didn’t like her avoidance of his own, so Kon demanded, “What’s your business here?”

“I told you—”

“Innocent bystander. Right. Standing in the forest, by yourself, with no supplies?”

“Innocently bystanding,” she corrected. “My supplies are with my horse, probably scared halfway across the continent by now. I believe that one’s your fault?”

INTELLIGENT // trystan

Sebastien feels courteous enough to come by my apartment a little before eight. I wait outside until he putters up to the corner in his immortal, busted up minivan. Tonight, the upholstery smells like rotted garbage. I’m quick to inform him.

“Just finished a batch out of the trunk,” Sebastien says. He has the tendency to talk at his own pace, like every other word needs a careful look over. When we first met, I thought he was mocking my intelligence, but I learned pretty quick he prefers to do that without subtlety.

INSPIRE // to forget a prince

A ladder cut steeply into the bluff, complete with foot shelves, hand holds, and a bolted safety rope that looked like it might hold one person for a moment or two and then nothing else afterward.

“Hm,” Diorre said, uninspired.

“Hard to miss. Good thing the hungered almost tossed me off the edge,” Yulei said with a grin. She started for the ladder. “I’ll let you know if I see any. Screaming means I’ve been ambushed, and silence means I’ve been ambushed effectively.”

“You’re not really going down there.”

But Yulei showed no signs of reluctance, talking as she tightened her satchel strap and tucked the folds of her shawl. “It’s a really important research project, I’m on a deadline, and my professor is a bit of a hard-ass. So, uh, I’d say it was nice to meet you, but it wasn’t really. Good luck!” She slotted her boot in the first step.

INSPECT // at the bottom of the waterfall

He found some shade under a stand’s canopy and waited for his final order to box. After heeding all the vendors’ chatter through the morning, he didn’t feel like talking any further and maintained a firmly grumpy expression to scare people off.

But a stranger approached anyway.

“Good morning!” the strange man hailed with a wave, undeterred by the scowl. “Or is afternoon now? The sun works quicker than I manage to! Do I have the honor of speaking with the young novice Louis?”

Equally tall, they spoke eye-to-eye, and Louis found that unusual enough to draw back a step and inspect the man. He was clean-shaven and expensively dressed like an important magician might be, with a flat nose and sparkling eyes and two long plaits of black hair tucked neatly across his shoulders. His grin was positively radiant.

Louis cringed, convinced it was a polished performance, and he really didn’t want to chat with two shopping bags crooked in his elbows. “Magi Lavonde is available through appointment only,” he tediously recited. “And she’s never interested in political solicitations, so if that’s your angle…”

“No, you misunderstand! I’ve a query for you.”

“Well, I don’t talk to strangers. Go away.”

[etherealxgenie]

Why Lila is Marinette’s Own Fault || Miraculous Why?

(Before I begin, note that this is my opinion over the topic and am no way am bashing anyone’s love for the ship and/or character. I respect who and what you like, therefore expect the same courtesy. However, if this is something you cannot handle, please click the back button as this will be a heavily discussed topic. No flames allowed. Other than that, enjoy.)

So usually in the story, there’s always one or two mean girls who is out to get the main character for some kind of superior reasons to justify. And there’s no reason as to why they act this way just for the sake of being mean.

Like the Ashleys from “Recess”, who tend to pick on kids just for the fun of it sometimes or cause they’re popular.

Same can go for Libby from “Sabrina The Teenage Witch” who was out to get something for what she wants or just to be superior to the other kids in school.

For Miraculous, we already have that kind of character, Chloe Bourgeois, who is the daddy’s girl of the Mayor to get what she wants. And until we had some small character development in season two (which season 3 took it away!!), we had no reason feeling sorry for her and she was just for the convenient plot in the social life for Marinette in the series.

And then… there’s Lila.

Before I get into hand in this, let me note that Lila is not a good person at all in the show. She’s a liar, a manipulator and will do whatever she can to get what she wants. She breaks into homes, steals and molests pretty models. She’s been pretty shown to be just selfish without consequences and unless we get a background story of why she acts this way, she has no excuse. Especially when she teams up with hawkdaddy to now have permission to invade and spy on Adrien whenever she wants? Fuck that.

So in Volpina, Lila is introduced as this pathological liar to get attention in season one. She obviously goes for Adrien cause he’s the famous model after all. Reasonable considering as the new person looking for attention, you seek out the most popular/famous person in the school. That would Adrien.

Though considering with her connections, it would’ve been smarter to try and impress Marinette instead if Lila did her research before she came into the scene. But of course, new person so she wouldn’t know, but whatever.

And we can see Lila easily just says things just to get Adrien’s approval and such.

And so, Marinette follows them around (stalking? really?) because Tikki points out Lila has the book Adrien took from his father’s vault and threw it in the trash.

Now the SMART thing to do would’ve been to see how Adrien would handle the situation and wait for him to leave, if to acknowledge Adrien has a mind of his own and knows when to walk away (which he does). Or at the very least, try to distract them as Marinette while Tikki retrieved the book.

But… no. You transform into Ladybug to lash out at a girl PUBLICALLY, for anyone including Adrien to hear, just to embarrass her and call her out on her lying because she… “hates liars”.

Marinette, you fucking lie ALL the time! Most of those times to Adrien! And I’m not just talking about when in regard to being Ladybug, you hypocritical- (groans)

I can list plenty of episodes: Gamer, Aninmaestro, Ikari Gozen and hell, even Reverser counts! If she hadn’t lied about Marc’s book, Nathaniel wouldn’t have torn it! (sighs)

And before you all start jumping at me saying Lila got what she deserves, I only agree partially. Ladybug, as a public figure and heroine, practically the face of Paris, acted irrationally lashing out at a bystander because of lies which were or were not believable. Lila was broadcasting a post or making the news, she was trying (poorly) to impress a boy. Ladybug gave Lila the Regina George treatment.

Yeah, so you caused an akumatized situation and Lila hates your guts. Hell, I would hate you too. That’s like a celebrity jumping at an innocent bystander when they’re whispering to their friend about a rumor that only the two of them were talking about. You can’t jump to try and stop them and should just let it dispel on its own. At that point, Lila had no real power but you just influenced her.

And… oh boy did things get worse because of this.

Look season 3 was trash (except for moments in certain episodes) and I feel talking about the infamous ‘Chameleon’ physically hurts me but… yeah gotta point out a few things. The whole episode was unrealistic, and it was an obvious ploy to be sympathetic to Marinette with Lila back… but… you’re not fooling me.

So, Lila is still on her lying game, being able to fool the students and the staff?! Okay if you believe a student has so many disabilities without any paperwork proof, you can actually get fired for that for fraud. As someone who worked with education before, that’s just pure incompetence.

So yeah, Marinette comes to school seeing the seats changes to accommodate Lila and upright begins to plot to discredit her for her lies. UM… what happened to trying to start over with Lila after failing to do so the first time?

Oh, that’s right. She gets that way (at least partly) because Lila is sitting next to Adrien. I can understand if it was because they rearranged the seating without her say so but let’s face it. Lila sitting next to Adrien was her real trigger.

So since Marinette failed to acknowledge her mistake the first time, she spends all day trying to prove Lila is lying and in return the class is angry at her. Alya even comes to point out that Marinette is jealous of Lila.

And you know what? Alya is right.

Alya knows at least what Marinette is capable of doing so when it comes to Adrien and how far she’s willing to go. Remember that Alya is the one who encouraged her to break into his locker and steal his phone. So of course, she’s worried Marinette is gonna do something to the new girl.

I don’t blame Alya for doing one of the most competent things in the show: Warning Marinette to NOT go off the handle without proof and not make herself look bad in the process.

And because Marinette failed to do so… she made Lila her enemy AGAIN. It was bad enough you had her as your enemy as Ladybug, but now you get to deal with twice the drama!

Your own fucking fault, Marinette.

Also, the advice Adrien gave? I don’t blame for him for it and neither should you. Yes, his advice is not perfect, but with the options he has on his plate, its hard to do something otherwise.

For every encounter Adrien has had with Lila, it ended up with her being akumatized or a disaster no matter how he tried to handle her. We didn’t get to see how he would resolve in Volpina because of Ladybug’s intervention, but he would try at least in Chameleon and try to get her to see she didn’t need to lie and actually tried to befriend her. At this point, Lila was already triggered by Ladybug and Marinette so she just might have to take Adrien by force instead.

At that point, Adrien just wants to stay away and which he was trying to tell Marinette don’t interact with Lila or confront her cause there’s no way to do so at this point. Maybe he was trying to tell her to wait until her rumors got discredited, but he didn’t say it clear enough for her to understand.

And keep in mind, Adrien is a sheltered child with little to zero social skills taught to him by Nathalie and Gabriel. Hell, we don’t know how his childhood was really like even with Emelie around either and Adrien seems more like the pacifist unless he needs to absolutely step in. And he did by cleaning up Marinette’s mess in ‘Ladybug’. So now he’s gotta suffer being around Lila more because of Marinette making Lila her enemy.

But once again, this is bad writing as the writers of the show obviously forgot what it’s like to live in reality. In the real world, Lila would be immediately discredited without any proof the moment she came back. Not to mention, some of the class have their own connections and have more braincells proven in the previous episodes. Google search and such. A 5-year-old wouldn’t believe these lies in these times. Hey, I believe that because I once had a kid in kindergarten during my time as an afterschool art teacher look at one of my books I illustrated before and said they liked the ‘graphics’.

Kids are fucking smarter nowadays than you think.

The only reason anyone would believe Lila’s lies is if she’s magically influenced with some kind of ‘silver tongue’ spell or something and honestly? It looks like that’s the reason.

I dunno if Thomas Astruc or Zag is trying to insult the kids/adults or insult themselves to say Paris people aren’t that smart. If it’s the latter, you should see what you are doing because I don’t want to believe that because that’s disrespectful.

I know it seems I’m trying to stand up for Lila this portion, but I’m just looking things in a  more realistic and logical way. Did Lila take things too far? Yes, waaaayyy too far and should be arrested for it since she works for Hawkmoth. But it could’ve been handled better and that makes Marinette at fault too.

Part of me wonders if she’s done this before because in Zombiezou, she also causes Chloe to ruin her gift for Ms. bustier. If Marinette didn’t antagonize Chloe in the locker in front of the class, maybe she wouldn’t have done anything. Again, I’m not saying Chloe was justified, but if that was the reason, yeah I can see her doing it for payback.

So to all those fics where I’m supposed to be ‘Boo-hoo’ for Marinette because of what Lila did? Fuck you guys because you need to dig deeper into the story to see both sides and not just make it a pity party where Marinette is the innocent victim.

It’s called “Cause and Effect”.

And considering she made Lila her enemy, Marinette is gonna get effected enough because that’s how karma works.