#maybe its more than just the post maybe its the end of the year retrospective feelings fbdnsn

[amnyatas]

like honestly re: positive/negative experiences its like

while doing metas for skyscale, i was in a map chat convo about how it was a hell of a grind, and said but at least i won't need to get griffon now 'cause i'm bad at saving up, and this flies just fine!

and someone out there sent me 300g for a griffon, and insisted i take it 'cause they have plenty and don't play as much anymore. like, i was floored, i even rejected it once but they sent it again and i was like. okay i'm getting the griffon! i kept that gold, the most gold i had ever had, and made sure i never dipped below 300g till i had the griffon quests that it was meant for, 'cause like. i coulda spent ot on gems or weapon skins or a commander tag, but it felt wrong, y'know? and so that person is the sole reason i have a griffon.

on the flipside, a negative example would be the uptick in vocal christian proselytizing. but that's just an annoyance and not nearly as weighty as the generous griffon gifter. for every bad run in i have about five much more memorable interactions!

like i've had my share of shittiness, but like. those positive moments stick so much more!

[cyberdragoninfinity]

wild dana spotted howling and barking about yugioh arc-v out in the parking lot

oh BOY oh boy it's bout that time again. i can't believe it's been OVER A YEAR (?!?!?) since i last did one of these 'i just finished a yugioh here's my little rambly retrospective about it' posts but we are BACK!!! Finished my first ever watch-through of Arc-V last Tuesday after some 8 months of it putting me through the spin cycle and now as it's wedging itself permanently into my psyche i need to talk about its Everything or i will explode. so LET'S SWING INTO ACTION!!! I'M TAKING CONTROL OF THIS DUEL STARTING NOW!!!

[SPOILERS ahead for this decade old anime, of course]

WOW. YUGIOH ARC-V, HUH. before i started it watching it, I knew two things: A.) every single bit of knowledge I'd learned about it from Duel Links events or otherwise had me so, so, unbeliebable fucking hyped. I was absolutely certain this Yugioh was going to be so full of Danabait and completely fry my brain like an egg on the griddle. I had to physically restrain myself for TWO YEARS to keep from jumping the gun and watching Arc-V before I'd finished all the series before it (a decision I'm ultimately thankful for--Arc-V hits kind of fuckign crazy as a chaser to four other yugiohs.). And also, B.) when people Talk About Arc-V they always talk about it in a Very Particular Way. like. it's hard to describe. I feel like you know it when you see it. There is the full range of human emotion in the way people talk about Arc-V. People talk about Arc-V like its a confusing, malicious specter haunting their living room. And this admittedly got me even more hyped to watch it.

And then I watched it and here I am and I KNOW NOW. I KNOW NOW WHY PEOPLE. TALK ABOUT IT LIKE THAT. FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT. SLASH POS. SLASH NEG. SLASH SECRET THIRD THING.

Arc-V is a fucking MESS. It starts out SO strong and then it starts setting plot threads on fire and writing conceptual checks it absolutely cannot cash. It falls down the narrative stairs like it has a goddamn death wish. It introduces 342052805 characters and then forgets to do anything with 99% of them. It does things to its girl characters that makes the back half of 5Ds's girl writing failure look like the height of feminist theory. If the stories I've heard about its deeply troubled production are any indication it is some kind of MIRACLE this show got made and aired at ALL. IT'S LIKE WATCHING A CAR WEAVING THROUGH TRAFFIC AT 90 MPH ONLY TO PLOW DIRECTLY INTO THE SIDE OF A PARTY CITY.

and goddamn if I didn't have a FUCKING BLAST watching it. GODDAMN IF I DIDNT HAVE SO, SO MUCH FUN. goddamn if Arc-V might very well end up being my FAVORITE yugioh out of ALL of them when all is said and done. WHOOOOOPSSS!!! 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴

like. imo Zexal is absolutely from a quality/art direction/narrative/everything standpoint leaps and bounds better than Arc-V. Definitely one of my favorite cartoons I've ever seen period, and most people should give it a shot. Such a beautiful work of art. But Arc-V....... girl they put something In this one. My pre-show hype was absolutely warranted. This show is just one blast of Shit That Makes Dana Crazy after another. Every character absolutely delights me and is my best friend. I'm going to be losing my mind over Yugioh Arc-V for the rest of the year and maybe forever.

As usual I primarily watched the dub, with some sub episodes sprinkled in if I got tipped off about a big change, or just if I wanted to see what was going on back there. (glad I did, of course, for a number of reason--least of all that Arc-V's OPs and EDs are SO fun and so charming!!) (THOUGH SIDE NOTE: THE DUB OPENING SHREDS SO HARD IM SORRY. IT'S UP THERE WITH THE GX DUB OPENING FOR ME. CAN YOU FEEL THE FUCKING POWER!!!!!) Anyway, gotta say, really was blown away by this dub!! It's tied with Zexal for what's imo the 'best' yugioh dub--the majority of the voice performances were just fantastic (truly all the love in my heart for Michael Liscio Jr.'s performances as the yuboys, they all have such unique and charming voices and im OBSESSED WITH THEM.) and having watched some sub eps side by side with the dub it's really cool seeing a dub that genuinely tried to faithfully translate Most of the Original. idk it's just a really solid localization to me!! I loved it a lot!! ALSO IT'S EXTREMELY FUNNY. I SAY THIS ABOUT EVERY DUB BUT IT'S TRUE. there are line reads in the arc-v dub that have me SOBLAUGHING.

anyway. I like to do these little subsection breakdowns in these little retrospective roundups, so let's get into the weeds with it:

Stuff I Didn't Like: loooooooooong inhale through my nose. looks at you with mildly pained eyes. alright. let's get this one over with.

though I did really try to go in as blind as I could/avoid most spoilers with this one, I did inevitably get spoiled by some things from Duel Links, but in the case of. uh. Riley Getting Turned Back Into a Baby At the End. 👶🏼 I AM glad I had that spoiled for me, so I knew it was coming. Because if I didn't know that was going to happen and that clocked me over the head I would have been on the NEWS. I WOULD HAVE BEEN, SO MAD. HEY, YUGIOH: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 👶🏼👶🏼👶🏼👶🏼👶🏼 WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO RILEY!!!!

"character gets permanently turned back into a baby for Critical Plot Reasons" has gotta be one of my LEAST favorite tropes in anything, it's NEVER GOOD. AND IT'S ESPECIALLY BAD HERE!!! Riley is such a good character, he's got such an interesting arc going on, and THEY JUST RIP THAT TO PIECES. SO RILEY'S JUST FUCKING GONE NOW I GUESS. COOL. ALRIGHT. SURELY THERE COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER WAYS TO DEFEAT ZARC. SURELY. just. good GOD. it was a small miracle to me when this happened like 8 episodes before the end, it was like ripping the bandaid off early, it was like "oh thank christ i got past that. ok well whatever happens it cannot possibly be as bad as the shit they did to riley"

^ (and imo it wasnt. thank GOD. actually let's talk about that)

LIKE. MAKE NO MISTAKE ARC-V'S ENDING IS CONFUSING AND CLUMSY AND SO STUPID AND NOT GOOD. WHY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH DOES THIS SERIES NEED EIGHT EPISODES AFTER ITS BIG BAD DUEL.WE COULD HAVE WRAPPED THIS UP IN 2-3!!!! it feels like watching Chopped and the contestant has 20 seconds on the clock left and theyre like "i gotta make my whipped cream" like WEEEE DONT NOT HAVE TIMEEE FOR THAT!!!!! WHAT ARE WE DOINGGGG. why are we dueling jack AGAIN. FOR TWO EPISODES. EVERYONE IS YELLING AT YUYA LIKE ALL OF THIS IS HIS RESPONSIBILITY AND FUCKING IS IT??!?!??! HE'S 14. AND THEN THOSE EPISODES HAVE THE GALL TO THROW SO MANY COOL IDEAS ON THE TABLE (Gong fully exploring dueltaining, the Dimensional Highway, etc) AND IT'S LIKE. COOL!! WISH WE COULDVE HAD THIS ANY OTHER TIME THAN THE LAST POSSIBLE SECOND!!! WHAT ARE WE DOINGGGG

BUT all that being said, the way people talk about that fucking last episode I was expecting some genuinely godawful 'zuzu is yuyas mom again like in the manga' tier absolute nightmare scenario. i literally made a secret prediction chart of what insane plot twist i assumed the last episode was going to drop on me.

AND THEN THE LAST EPISODE WAS JUST. FUNNYBAD. just a run of the mill whimper at the end of eight episodes we KIND OF REALLY DID NOT NEED. THE SHEER AMOUNT OF RELIEF I FELT. like absolutely i think going into it completely blind/encountering that ending watching live I would have been pissed, folks are rightfully frustrated with it, but I WAS TRULY. EXPECTING MUCH WORSE. IT ENDS LIKE A FAKE TUMBLR POST. "AND THEN EVERYONE CLAPPED" ASS ENDING. I DO HAVE TO LAUGH

^ YIPPEEEE SIX CHARACTERS HAVE EFFECTIVELY STOPPED EXISTING YAAAAAYY (😬😬😬😬)

ALSO, IN GENERAL. SPEAKING OF. GOD. THE BRACELET GIRLS. YALL ARE SO COOL AND THEN POOR LULU AND RIN DIDNT GET TO DO A GODDAMN THING EXCEPT HAVE WORMS IN THEIR BRAINS!!!! HELL ON EARTH!!!!!! WHY DID THEY DO THATTTT GAHHHHH again!! show that introduces SO many characters, so many FUCKING COOL CHARACTERS, and then does NOTHING with them. Or hits them with PARALYZING NERVE GAS FOR 20 EPISODES. CHRIST!!! WHY DO ARC-V GIRLS SUFFER MORE THAN JESUS. LEAVE MY GIRL ZUZU ALONEEEEE

TO THAT END, ARC-V JUST MAKES; SO MANY CONFUSING CHARACTER DECISIONS. AND CHOICES. why is Yuto just out of the picture for like 60 episodes!!! Let him be Yuya's brain buddy!!! WHY WASNT HE. DID YOU NOT WANNA ANIMATE HIM FLOATING NEXT TO THE DUEL RUNNER??! BE REAL. It's like. GRAHHH In general Arc-V has a pacing problem that is like. Atrocious even for yugioh's bad pacing problems. This series needed to be 400 episodes long. I like the IDEA of a yugioh with a big cast, spending episodes cutting between different groups of characters like some kind of bulky YA fantasy novel, but in practice it got. Real Muddy. RIP Xyz dimension arc you shoulda had so much more to you. And then there's that combined with this way it's trying Really Really hard to ape the themes of the past yugiohs ('dont forget to have fun,' grief/moving on after loss, classism) but it's hitting every damn branch on the way down and just completely fumbling ALL of them, it's not actually doing much to Earn being able to have those kind of themes resonate properly. IT'S SUCH A BAFFLING SHOW. IN THE THEMES DEPARTMENT. AMONG OTHER THINGS. "DONT EVER BE VISIBLY PUBLICLY SAD" IS A FUCKING INSANE MORAL. AND IT TAKES THAT SHIT WITH IT TO THE BITTER END. WHY IS THE FATE OF THE WORLD HINGED ON YUYA MAKING A BABY LAUGH. WHERE AM I!!!!

god. god. ok. ok im calm now. im sure in the coming weeks i'll have more barking about arc-v's various fumbles. but i'll leave it at that for now, i wanna talk about stuff i DID like now lol

Favorite Season/Arc: ok well. this actually is a hard question. um. hrm. LIKE. I'LL GET SHOT BY SNIPERS IF I SAY IT WAS SYNCHRO ARC BUT ALSO

IM SORRYYYYYYYYYYYYY I GOT THAT DOG IN ME (A BACK HALF OF 5D'S LIKER'S SOUL.) and unfortunately I WILL go in there and think about it that hard (the absolutely fucked to hell sociopolitical situation happening in Arc-V New Domino City and how it contrasts with the NDC in 5D's) (one thing about me I love weird fucked up yugioh old people I love those bitchass old centrists apparently governing the entire dimension and doing a piss poor job of it it's just like contemporary American politics!!!!!!) ROGET WAS JUST REANIMATING DEAD PEOPLE AND PUTTING MIND CONTROL CYBERNETICS IN THEM AND WELL YEAH SURE I'LL BE NORMAL GRIP ABOUT THAT. NORMAL. i need to make an arc-v AU Aporia so fucking bad THEN YOULL ALL SEE *talking to empty room*

YES synchro was way too fucking long. but regretfully i love turbo duels and will never not be charmed when yugioh puts guys on motorcycles that have no business being on motorcycles. DAMN I JUST FUCKING WISH YUYA AND YUGO GOT TO ACTUALLY TALK AND MEET IN THE SAME ROOM THOUGH!!!! BUT ANYWAY!!!!

im. kidding at least a little, I actually thoroughly enjoyed like...all of Arc-V's seasons/arcs at least a little (barring a lot of the Weird Post Zarc Duel 8 Episode Dead Zone.) The first 50 episodes really are just peak banger Yugioh, I do love action duels to absolute bits (though Action Spells. Uh. Need Some Workshopping 8| If I See Evasion One More Time Im Gonna Lose It) and the shit especially that first season does with the crazy Action Fields is AWESOME. GENUINELY. GO DUEL IN THE VOLCANO. DO A FLIP. RIDE YOUR MONSTER. it's practically running on Pokemon universe logic i cant NOT love it. And well Fusion Dimension arc does just have a whole lot of episodes that make me go cuckoo bananas crazy. Truly something for Dana in every crevice of Yugioh Arc-V.

Favorite Characters: god I do think like a solid half of why I think Arc-V may be becoming my top fav Yugioh is that the cast is just, really Really fucking good. Like yes so many of them are underutilized but the time we Do get with them really just shows off what delightful characters they all are. Half the reason it took me so damn long to finish was I was having so much fun and was going to miss seeing them!! IT'S GENUINELY HARD TO PICK A TOP LINEUP OF FAVS. THERE'S SO MANY DANABAIT GUYS IN YUGIOH ARC-V. YES EVEN THE SYNCHRO ARC GUYS. LUCAS SWANK I MISS YOU SO FUCKING MUCH.

The Lancers alone are SO good, theyre up there with Team 5D's in terms of Favorite "Main Yugioh 'Friend Group'/Organization". Group of guys who kind of have horrible synergy and only like 3 of them are actually competent. Declan came up with it when he was 13. Funniest group of teenagers imaginable, I love them all. LIKE .YUYA MAY BE MY FAVORITE YUTAGONIST??? IM NOT SURE YET BUT. I DO LOVE HIM A LOT. HE'S A PATHETIC WET PAPER TOWEL AND I WANT TO GIVE HIM A NOOGIE. SLASH POS.

And I mean I'm always gonna be Z-one biased but I do like Zarc as a Big Bad a lot too... damn if I don't love Just Some Guy Has Become God and Is a Huge Tool About It <3 WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS!!!!

ah. but. of course. i'd be remiss if i didn't bring up. Rainbow Carrot Rock Your World.

hey guys. why'd it happen again. why'd the Yugioh Carrot and Company get in my head and completely fry my brain AGAIN!!!!!!!! ORANGE CARROT. PURPLE CARROT. YELLOW CARROT!!!!🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕 YUGO ISNT EVEN MY TOP FAV BUT HE'S IN MY HEART AND IN OUR HOUSE FOREVER NOW. meanwhile i dont want. to talk about what yuri is doing to me. if i think too hard about this little purple freak i'll start going bonkers ballistic chewing my leg off. I like all the yuboys but he is especially. Gripping Me. La Cucaracha Loca. My shithead gay son.

dennis needs his own post he's just. a Lot. may very well be one of the funniest yugioh characters ever. Among Other Things. his dub VA's performance needs to be marked as culturally significant. AND THEY JUST KEPT BRINGING HIM BACK.

IN GENERAL, AS I WAS COMPLETELY EXPECTING, FUCKED UP AND EVIL DUEL ACADEMY REALLY DID ME IN I love you Fusion Dimension kids I love getting sick in the head thinking about card game child soldiers.My Actual favorite Arc-V character may just straight up be Sora..... I just like him a lot. He's got a really solid character arc, his deck rules, he's a little fucker AND an absolute real one. Just 10/10 little guy.

GOD WHAT EVEN IS MY TOP FIVE FAVORITES. UHHHH Okay Sora and Yuri for sure, and Declan, I love Declan. Yugo..... god. GOD IS THE FIFTH ONE DENNIS FOR REAL. I FEEL HIM IN MY BRAIN SO BAD. AAAAUUGHHHH (Runners Up: Yuya, Yuto, GONG MOTHERFUCKING STRONG!!!!!!, Rin my girl my badass mechanic girl IM ON MY WAY. I'LL THINK ABOUT YOU THAT HARD., Riley, Arc-V Aster unfortunately a Dana Guy ever. Why Is He Here. He Didnt Even Go to DA in GX. But all of this is subject to change in coming months as the entire cast continues to hit me with weapons. An honor and a privilege to induct these characters into my Blorbo Hall of Fame)

Favorite Duel: HEY QUICK QUESTION: WHY ARE ARC-V'S DUELS SO FUCKING WEIRD. LIKE. NARRATIVELY. There's like 4352984589 ties and duels that get cut short and DUELS WE JUST NEVER GET TO SEE THE FULL OUTCOME OF ON SCREEN?!?!? WHAT WAS GOING ON THERE. It feels like another symptom of arc-v just desperately trying to bite off more than it can chew 😭 Frustrating!! And god I LOVE the zaniness of Action Duels, but we neeeeeed to do something about Action Spells... GRABBING AN ACTION SPELL SHOULD NOT BE THE CRUTCH OF YOUR WHOLE DECK.........

coughs. anyway. My actual honest to god favorite Arc-V duel is Yugo vs. Celina in the Friendship Cup <3 IVE ALREADY TALKED ABOUT IT BEFORE BUT IT'S JUST SUCH A FUN ONE. It's got some great character moments on both sides, a yugioh girl Getting to Be Cool, the colors are gorgeous, it's SO funny, I just get such a kick out of it....I think part of what I Do like about the Friendship Cup is it really shows this sense of kinetic energy that the WRGP in 5D's really needed. I also really like the Shay vs. Dennis Friendship Cup duel for just going completely off the rails. Blow Up This War Criminal and The Whole Stadium With the Giant Bird Satellite Cannon. DOES NOT GET MORE YUGIOH THAN THAT!!

for all its weirdness Arc-V has a LOT of really fun duels that i enjoy--Shay vs. Sora is beloved for a reason, it also goes hard as hell. So many Season 1 duels are just a goofy blast, I really need to rewatch the quiz show one. For as much of an unnecessary mess as those last 8 episodes are, I DO really like Yuya and Dennis's duel too (THAT GETS REALLY REALLY GAY AT THE END???!?!? ARE WE ALL SEEING THIS.)

Hell even the Zarc duel started making me kind of sick in the head--watching Yuya's friends passing around his pendulum necklace while trying to save him makes me turbo emo WHAT CAN I SAY!!!

Arc-V also has the thing I had with Zexal where there's just some individual episodes that are absolute bangers for me. i love the Prison Break episode, it's fucking INSANE. HIP HIPPO SAID FUCK COPS FUCK THE PRISON SYSTEM!!! I love the episode where Gong and Dennis duel. FOR HOW LONG IT DID DRAG SYNCHRO HAS SOME REALLY FUN ONE-OFF EPISODES which I just really enjoy. Also love when Zuzu and Sora beat the shit out of a pack of cops. Based for that for real.

i do also love Yuri and Yuya's duel. Of course.

Other Miscellaneous Gushing/Shrieking/Losing My Mind About Yugioh Arc-V For Good and Bad and Everything in Between: arc-v arc-veeeeee yugioh arc-fiveeee theres just so MUCH. TO TALK ABOUT. THIS ONE'S GONNA BE IN MY HEAD FOR EONS I FEAR. THINKING ABOUT THE EVERYTHING. The sheer amount of narrative traits that make me specifically lose my mind (in a good way. as opposed to. the babyfication making me lose my mind. in a Real Bad Way :////) that they crammed into this. It's like digging in the treasure chest of elaborate fanfics I was writing in my brain in freshman year of high school. The Sick and Twisted Evil AU Version of Duel Academy. The Trained to Be Weapons Child Soldiers. Mind Control Reanimated Corpse Brain Chip. Alternate Dimension Selves. All of the Split Different Dimension Bullshit. Soul Splitting and Soul Fusion Framed as Fucking Terrifying. It's good I didn't have Arc-V growing up it would have been doing IRREVERSIBLE THINGS TO MY DEVELOPING CREATIVE BRAIN. INSTEAD IT'S DOING THEM TO ME NOW.

(side note, re: terrifying soul fusion: Arc-V is SO FUCKING SCARY SOMETIMES?!?? Like "ohh i wish yugioh was still a horror story" DAWG ARC-V ROUTINELY HAS SOME OF THE MOST DREAD-INDUCING CONCEPTS GETTING FLUNG AT YOU AT 90 MPH. SKIP BOYLE FORGETS HIS DAUGHTER EXISTED AND IT'S ONE OF THE MOST HEARTBREAKINGLY HORRIFYING THINGS IVE EVER SEEEEENNNNN )

The shit Arc-V does with Yugioh's themes of identity, these "when does a piece of yourself stop being you and start being their own person?" "what happens when multiple free standing people are one person" type ideas, you KNOW that makes my Aporia Turbofan ass go CRAAAZYYYY. AND THEN IT HAD RELIGIOUS MOTIFS TOO <3333 YOU'RE ME AND IM YOU AND IT DOESNT MATTER WHO DOES WHAT THE DEVIL WILL COME BACK REGARDLESS 😊💞💞💞

Arc-V takes such bold swings at things and 95% of the time it misses the ball entirely and spins up and out and directly into the fireplace but that 5% of sheer genius and thematic weight hits like a truck. Is Arc-V good? FUCK IF I KNOW. PROBABLY NOT. BUT ALSO YES IT IS. BUT ALSO IT'S NOT. BUT ALSO IT'S SOMETHING SO SPECIAL, AND I LOVE IT. That first like 50 episodes makes for such a good yugioh starter course tbh, the way it goes over different summoning methods and is very engaging and energetic, and then the rest of the show is an 18 car pileup of Card Game War that makes me automatically like DONT. START WITH THIS ONE. WATCH ANOTHER YUGIOH OR TWO FIRST AND THEN COME MELT YOUR BRAIN IN HERE. AND THATS SUCH A WEIRD DICHOTOMY TO HAVE WITH ONE YUGIOH. weird like everything else with arc-v i suppose. :,)

For all the mess and all the madness there truly is so much I love, though. I love the character dynamics, even when the show isnt doing much more with its cast--Yuya and Gong's friendship may be one of my favorite 'yutag and best friend' bonds, it's SO sweet and I'm going to be mad forever that Gong isn't more popular in western ygo fandom. I love the DUEL MONSTERS!! Performapals are SOOOO sillygoofy I have to adore them, the dimensional dragons all kick so much ass I love you Clear Wing my big legless weirdo. I love Shay's increasingly bigger Bird Guns. I LOVE FRIGHTFURS!!!! I LOVE D/D/DS!!!!! SO HAPPY TO SEE THEM ON ESPECIALLY SCREEN AFTER PLAYING THEM FOR MONTHS IN DUEL LINKS. MY FREAKY DECLAN DEMONS. I love the miscellaneous callbacks to past iconic monsters and funky weird AU retrains of the Legacu character's decks. Scarlight Red Dragon Archfiend my friend Scarlight Red Dragon Archfiend

I also do love that Arc-V in theory is trying very hard to be a celebration of past Yugiohs, but it's also instead being completely fucking insane with its 'tributes.' Oh you like Heartland City from Zexal? It's a carpetbombed warzone now! LIKE... HUH!!! When Lazar showed up at the end of season 2 i SCREAMED. I WANT TO KNOW THE LOGIC OF THESE CHOICES. THEY DONT MAKE ME MAD OR ANYTHING REALLY IM JUST FASCINATED BY THEM. i cant really be too angry at arc-v I'm just. transfixed. at every baffling choice it's ever made. I've really truly never seen a show that's so thoroughly felt like some kids doing a roleplay on a forum somewhere, players dropping in and out and mods not really knowing what to do with the lore anymore as things become more and more convoluted. I watch arc-v scenes and i can picture the text RP in my head, the players' forum signatures and all. It's truly some kind of feat to achieve that inherent vibe, that's for sure.

ok im running out of steam i think... what else. god. Yugioh Arc-V is just.... such a teetering Jenga tower of a show, a complete nuclear meltdown of clumsy writing and fantastic vocal performances (dub and sub) and confused handling of its own lore and occasionally some of the fucking coolest most intense expressions and gorgeous shots of any yugioh

I held out on watching it for so long cuz i just fuckin KNEW it was going to grab me by the brain and swing me into the wall and WELL!!! I WAS RIGHT!!!! SHES A MESS BUT SHES MY MESS BABEYYY!!! IS ARC-V GOOD? MAYBE NOT BUT, BROTHER, I FUCKIN LOVE WHEN YUGIOH IS BAD ❤ ive been a disciple of Bad Yugioh for 20 goddamn years and im not stopping now!!!!! I love you Pendulum summoning you insane busted ass mechanic. I love you all four completely fucked up dimensions. I love that they localized Maiami to Paradise City. I love the little nods to past yugioh things (like fusing with a motorcycle <3 Primo Moment...2!) I hate you Leo Akaba explode and die forever (though 'parent going mad trying to bring their child back' do also go me a little bananas.) I love the kickass shots of Yuya's monsters being set in the pendulum scale.I love Sora's relationship with Yuya and Zuzu. I love every fucked up crazyass expression Yuri makes. I love the sense of character design in this show. I love the Action Duel start chants. I love seeing the Synchro Math again and the Overlay Units and the deeply unsettling fusion hand gesture kids use with Polymerization. I love that third ED thats just the Lancers dicking around in different locations and having fun. I love Declan and Riley's complicated but deeply loving bond. I love when characters RIDE THEIR DUEL MONSTERS!!! AND I LOVE THAT DESPITE EVERYTHING I ALREADY WANNA SEE THESE CHARACTERS AGAIN. THEYRE MY FRIENDS!!!!! THEYRE IN MY BRAIN!!!!! MY KIDSSSSS

I KNOW NOW. WHY PEOPLE TALK ABOUT ARC-V LIKE THAT. AND IM ABOUT TO START TALKIN LIKE THAT TOO. YUGIOHHHHHH!!!!!

[stellamancer]

cher(ease)  (satoru gojo x reader)

notes: i want to preface this by saying: yes, i know i posted a fic yesterday too. no, i am not actually that prolific. this was written for the willow house Meet Fruit collab. actually, i wrote it right after @willowser​ suggested it, but i waited to post it because I was actually a little unhappy with it when I was done writing it initially and i figured some time away from it might help. it did. a little. i think. now i’m not sure any more.. 

contains:  gender neutral reader, typical satoru gojo antics, some small manner of sexual tension

wc: 1.4k

You love cherries. 

They are, without a doubt, your favorite fruit; tart, sweet and easy to eat with their stems serving as a cute little handle. It does suck having to deal with eating around the pits, but your beloved cherries are worth the inconvenience. It’s truly, truly a shame that they’re only really available in the summer, but that just means you need to eat your fill when they’re in season.

Which is why, when you stumble across a display of them at the market, rows of cartons filled to the brim with bright, plump, juicy red cherries, you end up buying a carton or three without a second thought.

In retrospect, it might have been better to show some restraint. Maybe you had hungry eyes, or were just a touch too excited, or maybe it was even the fact that you’d spent an unspeakable amount of money on just cherries. Regardless, in order to attempt to absolve yourself of some of the buyer’s regret that’s clearly haunting you after splurging on fruit you benevolently decide to share them with the students and your fellow staff members at Jujutsu High. 

Or at least, that had been your intent. 

“Oh hey,” Satoru Gojo greets you casually as you walk into the staff room, his feet propped up on the table so he can lean his chair back as far as possible. In one of his hands is a cherry, one of your cherries, hanging delicately from its stem. “What’s up?”

“What are you doing?” you ask him reflexively, ignoring his question outright as a surge of annoyance courses through your veins. There’s a part of you that feels weird about suddenly feeling possessive over the cherries. You brought them to share with everyone and everyone includes Gojo. It shouldn’t be a big deal that he's gone ahead and helped himself to some without asking, and yet you still find yourself feeling agitated. 

"I was hungry," he replies nonchalantly, popping the cherry in his mouth. 

"And you thought it would be okay to snack on my cherries?" 

Gojo shifts forward in his chair and offers you an easy-going smile that only makes you scowl more. “There were so many in the fridge I’d thought you’d brought them to share.”

Your instinct is to argue, to be obtusely contrarian with him, but the fact of the matter is that he’s right, so you keep your mouth shut. Instead, you sit yourself down and stare at the half full carton of cherries on the table. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Gojo wiggling around, not-so-subtly vying for your attention like an overly excitable child. You ignore him and instead choose to think of the rising cost of produce. It was truly an ungodly amount you spent on those cherries and you know for sure that a year ago the same amount of them would have cost marginally less. When you thought about sharing them with the students, the blow to your wallet seemed bearable, their smiles worth the cost and more. But rather than your students' darling faces all you can see is the image of Gojo’s face, his cheeks stuffed with cherries like he’s a squirrel feasting on nuts. It’s annoying. Maybe you can get him to pony up and pay you back for a portion of what he’s eaten. Surely the heir to the Gojo clan can pay for some of the cherries he’s gobbled up. 

“Hey…” He’s whining loudly now, any attempts at being subtle abandoned. You consider ignoring him more, but think better of it and look in his direction. Unsurprisingly, he’s pouting, his perfectly moisturized lips puckering out, and you’re glad that his blindfold detracts from what is otherwise a disgustingly handsome face. “Why the long face?”

He’s mocking you. He’s totally mocking you. Not that you’d expect anything different from him. Rather than grace him with an actual answer, you shoot him a pointed look. There’s no goddamn way that he doesn’t know. But still, Gojo plays his favorite role and tilts his head innocently. When you don’t say anything more he exclaims, “Oh! I know! You must be hungry.”

Again, he’s not wrong, but this time he’s not exactly right either.

He grabs another cherry, this time holding it up in your direction. He grins as he propels it toward your mouth. “Here. Say ‘ah~’”

“Gojo, you are not feeding me.”

He ignores you, insistently pressing the cherry to your lips as he speaks, his voice an octave lower, "They taste really good, you know." 

The sexy drop of his voice is nothing short of deliberate— a tried and true tactic of his meant to get under your skin. You glare at him, your agitation clear as day. He is, as expected, completely unfettered, the cherry still flush against your lips. 

Your options at this point are to: wait until he gets bored and drops the cherry, possibly onto the floor— wasting it or shamefully accept it and endure him gloating about it for the rest of the day. As much as you’d love to waste Gojo’s time and sit at the table in a silent stalemate, you have other things to do. Important things.

So you open your mouth wide, wider than necessary, and use your teeth to rip the cherry from Gojo’s grasp in the most unattractive way possible. 

“Yay!” he cheers, choosing to focus on seeing just what he wants to see instead acknowledging that you obviously don’t want his offering. You consider, for one wild second, spitting it back in his face. However, you don’t and just drop the cherry into your open palm. Now what? Do you eat the cherry or just toss it? Frankly, it feels like a lose-lose situation either way, so you might as well go with the option that gives Gojo less satisfaction: you toss it into the trash can. 

“Aw…” His lips jut out to form an excessive pout.

“I already told you: you are not feeding me.”

“You’re no fun."

“I’m plenty of fun,” you dead pan at him, scowling. “I’m just not your plaything.”

“Meaning you won’t feed me either?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Not even if I say please?” 

“Nope.”

“Hmph.” He’s being overly dramatic and you both know it. “Guess I will enjoy the cherries all on my own, then.”

His voice drops again. The second time makes your body feel a little bit weird, but you remain largely immune to his antics, electing to grab another cherry to eat over paying him any mind. 

But Gojo reaches for the cherries right when you do, obviously and intentionally going for the same one you are, and your fingers brush against one another. You scowl and rather than play some weird version of finger footsie, you go for a different cherry.

Annoyed, you shoot him another glare, or at least, you intend to, but he’s pulled his dumb blindfold down and that’s a tell-tale sign that he’s up to no good. You can already feel your blood pressure rising. Dealing with him like this is even more of a pain than usual.

He holds your gaze, his eyes clear as the summer sky, glimmering, as he presses the cherry to his mouth every so gently, as if he’s kissing it. You watch, almost entranced, your mouth suddenly dry. Gojo rolls it over his lips, parting them ever so slightly to press the damn fruit further in, his tongue darting out and—

You force yourself to look away, rolling your eyes as you do. “What the hell are you doing? You look stupid.”

Gojo merely hums, chewing on the cherry. You hope he bites into the pit and dies of cyanide poisoning. 

He tosses a few more cherries into his mouth before he speaks, another seductive drawl, and though you would never admit it, you think your immunity grows weaker every time he uses that damn tone of voice. “Hey.”

“What,” you deadpan, glancing at him.

Gojo grins at you and his lips part just slightly, calling your attention to them again. He reaches up and slowly pulls a cherry stem from his mouth. It’s looped into a little knot and the sight of it throws you back to your middle school days— your classmates giggling quietly to themselves over the implications of things like tongue tied cherry stems and candies unwrapped using one’s tongue alone. 

“So,” he starts, his stupid blue eyes shining with shameless amusement, “have you heard what they say about people who can do this?”

He grins at you, far too pleased with himself for his own damn good. You know the answer he’s looking for. And he should know that hell will freeze over before you give it to him.

“Yeah. They call them idiots for putting the damn cherry stem in their mouths.”

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

Hi hello I watched all of carmilla in a weekend when I was 17 because a student teacher who in retrospect I had a bit of a crush on mentioned that she knew one of the actresses. also I am pretty invested in all your recent vampire stuff because I watched iwtv in 2 days last week because your edit intrigued me

oh hiiii 🫶 thank you for indulging me. thats so cool that you watched iwtv! did it live up to the expectation?

i also watched carmilla at 17! or like, 17-19. i found it when s2 had just started and followed it to the end. did something permanent to my brain but i think it was a good thing. on rewatch now im like, i was right to like this. like it's a solid show, it's good. it has its flaws obviously but it's well written, the emotional moments still get me, i can see why i liked it and i still like it now even when it's not anymore, you know, meeting every need that baby gay me didnt even know they had

what it doesnt reaallyy do though - i dont remember if i posted abt this or if i left it in my drafts but - is explore vampirism as a concept. their subject matter is more lesbianism than vampirism. which is great! thats what they wanted to do and they did it and it's very good. but reading interview with the vampire the book rn im realising how much potential vampires have to be metaphors for like so many things and i started wondering like 'wait, did carmilla just not really engage with it or did it all go over my head'. but it just didnt really engage with it all that much. which again is fine bc that wasnt what they were doing. im glad they were more about the lesbianism than the vampirism

but there's this interesting difference in framing, because in iwtv they keep calling armand 'ancient' right? and emphasising how old he is. and he's like 500? and i was like 'wait isnt carmilla like 400?'. she isnt, shes 340, but still, thats getting there, you know? and we know quite a lot about her history, but kind of just the Big Events. when she was turned, the events of the novella, coffin of blood, silas. thats sort of what we know. but none of the long lonely slog of history day to day you know? with armand i feel like we can really feel how much time everything takes. how every one of those years is made up of single days. with carmilla i dont feel that as much. i keep kind of thinking about daniel, when louis calls him a boy in the first episode, saying "im an old man, with all the triggers that come with it"

because carmilla might look 18 (or mid twenties at this point) but she has lived all that time. shes also seen her native land be claimed by like a succession of ruling powers, right? like armand. shes been buried alive, like louis. when lestat is born, shes already 80 years old, shes lived a whole human lifetime, and the entire adult part of it shes been a vampire. shes lived through 1680-1870 being a lure. i compared her to abigail hobbs in some tags on a post, i dont know if youre familiar with hannibal the tv show, but i do also kinda keep thinking about that comparison

if youre not familiar, in the first episode of hannibal the murderer of the week is this guy garrett jacob hobbs who kills and cannibalises girls who resemble his daughter. and later on it turns out she was made to be his lure. like they'd go places and he'd sent her to the victims to make friends and maybe get them back to their home or smth. not sure if they specified all the details. but that's what carmilla did for mother. and in s2 we hear from mattie that while every couple of decades carmilla had to lure victims for the fish god, she also seemed to just enjoy humans between those times, right? like the doctor, gets lonely, gets a new companion. but we've only sort of got mattie's mocking word for it ("dont eat him, hes a poet! or her, shes got such a wonderful voice. or that one, shes just too pretty to ruin"), we don't know exactly from carmilla's point of view what she was doing or why. if mattie's talking about stuff that happened after the blood coffin, 1950-now, then i think it's a fair assumption based on what carmilla says in the s1 sock puppet show that after she'd figured out what the real situation was and what her role in it was, when she'd started trying to save girls from being sacrificed, that she mightve been doing the same trying to save people from becoming mattie's victims. it's probably more likely that she was just trying to find excuses to stop mattie from sucking someone dry rather than actually having like an aesthetic based morality. but it might be a bit of both. im still trying to figure out what her philosophy actually is, like i dont know what existentialism actually means ghkfjghkj but i will

i also found it pretty striking in the movie when shes turning back into a vampire she says like "this was supposed to be done, you know? the blood lust, the self-loathing, the sleeping tied to a chair in my own bedroom". thats what defines her vampirism, wanting blood and hating yourself for it (the third part is a joke/reference to s1 but also i think meaningful for how she sees her relationship with laura when she IS a vampire. little bit of that 'she will reject me for my monstrousness' shining through). and thats what defines vampirism for lots of vampires across the genre obviously, but i dont know, it struck me. we dont get a lot from carmilla's pov, we know a fair amount about her, but the story is always told through laura. we get laura's diaries, but just snippets here and there from carmilla, what shes thinking, how shes feeling

and i love that shes a philosopher. i love that thats how she seems to try and find something to hold onto, in a world that kind of moves around her, having been murdered, kidnapped, turned and groomed to be a lure on the cusp of adulthood, never having been properly loved (the relationship with her father wasnt good she says in s3, and her mortal mother i dont think has ever been mentioned (like laura's)). the only good relationship she seems to have had for the better part of 3 centuries seems to have been mattie, and mattie seems to love being a vampire. i can imagine carmilla just sort of going along with anything mattie wants to do just because shes so desperate for that friendship. not like, against her will necessarily really. but more like, she hasnt even had the space to develop her own will, you know? and philosophy lets you do that. philosophy gives you frameworks to understand the world and to develop your own opinions on it. and by the 21st century she seems to have developed those opinions, she has a sense of her own values, but shes also still stuck in that same situation. shes jaded and cynical in the face of laura's optimism and strong moral code a lot of the time in s1 because she feels probably pretty powerless. like she does what she can to save some girls but at the end of the day shes scared of her mother and she has nowhere else to go really, right?

i like how she grapples with that over the course of the series, in tandem with laura grappling with her black and white morality. she sort of jumps ship from her mother to laura bc theyve fallen in love, but then laura still stuck in her hero thinking refuses to see her monstrous side. not literally bc i think the biological vampirism never seemed to be a problem for laura, but morally. the having murdered. carmilla needs laura to see that and love her while seeing it bc the last girl she loved rejected her for being a vampire.

but you see her kind of swing back and forth in s2. she softens first with laura but then they break up and she leans back hard into the sarcastic cynic defense mechanisms, leans hard into "im a monster, dont expect heroism from me". but thats like, it's sort of learned helplessness i think. it's powerlessness, resignation. bc morally shes not a monster. maybe she doesnt have as strong a drive to help other people as laura does and is a little more selfishly hedonistic in that she just wants to enjoy her/their life, but she doesnt hurt people for fun, she never has. she just sort of didnt have another option for a Really long time. so she pretends she doesnt care. "im a vampire, this is what i do, this is who i am". but clearly from the way she talks about it when she turns back into one, she doesnt enjoy it

and i like how she goes even further in s3, where she starts swinging even more to the heroic side, bc she sees hope. shes like "wow if we kill my mother, i'd be free". theres hope and she becomes like a lot more active. and shes like that at the start of the movie too, a lot happier, a lot more relaxed, and then vampirism is back and bam depression gfhgkjh like shes immediately more gloomy, ashamed of her past and her self, retreats into herself

sorry i just took this as an opportunity to dump all the carmilla thoughts floating in my head on you. you didnt ask fhkghgjh consider this an open invitation to you or anyone else to come talk to me about carmilla

[goodshipskypirate]

I can't say if I plan to live-blog The Messenger as I did Sea of Stars. Regardless, some little bullet points up to Autumn Hills.

Good Lord, this game is slamming the fourth wall and making the narrative device its bitch. The game can't go more than four dialogue boxes without someone, usually the Shopkeeper, lampshading video game conventions and plot points. This initially was my hesitation to play this game based on a YouTube LP I tried to see. It was just... obnoxious. I'm still not sure how to feel, but maybe I'll at least get Stockholm Syndrome or something.

Fun fact: I got a copy of this game years ago when I once donated to The Completionist's IndieLand charity stream years and years ago, which... wow, awkward in retrospect. I didn't really want the game, but it was a nice gesture and it lingered in my Steam account with the assumption I'd never play it. ...Funny how that ended up being.

I was a little afraid I'd find the Ninja obnoxious; he comes across as a lackadaisical idiot with no sense of patience or even sense. But he immediately takes charge of his destiny (even if it likely sates his desire to travel the world) and vows to end the Demon King, so he has a good heart. Probably still a moron though.

I know Sea of Stars takes places thousands of years before The Messenger, which is more than enough time for something to happen that caused Time Shards to just... Exist In Plain Sight. And I am vastly, VASTLY curious on how that happened, because the bloody crystals that only appeared when Resh'an FROZE TIME, is suddenly and readily available in the everyday world that it is not only a common sight, but can be used as currency (granted, said currency is, so far, only accepted by a demon with a time watch and a lady who owns a shop in-between realms, so maybe ordinary people don't accept chronolized crystals in exchange for goods and services.)

Speaking of demons, who gave Quarble a time watch? Why is this particular demon on the side of humans when every other is trying to end human life?

It is devastating to see Mesa Island as the sole respite for what little humanity is left after the massive flood post-Sea of Stars. All those cultures, towns, and people - gone. I take comfort in that this happened thousands of years later though. Some would say Zale and Valere's status as guardians of this world was all for naught, but was it really? Thousands of years of protection from a couple of deities is nothing to sneeze at.

Course, I have no idea WHEN the flooding occurred (maybe the game will tell me later), but I'm going to assume it only happened without a small time frame compared to the overall many, many years the Guardian Gods have kept the world safe.

Will The Messenger explain how the flood occurred or is Sabotage Studio hoping to tell that story later in the future, if they want to?

Coincidental, of course, and very much a product of Ninja being, well, a ninja, but some of the gaming mechanics (the Cloud Strike for instance) gave me major Specter of Torment vibes. I say this not to compare (it is very obvious Ninja Gaiden was the main inspiration for The Messenger) , but on how it lends a nice familiarity to one of my favorite games of all time. And, well, Specter Knight was a ninja in all but name anyway, including the obligatory ninja dance.

Never forget.

[didididraws]

my tablet is currently halfway across the country for repairs (my brother's the most tech-savvy in my family and asking him to take a look at it was cheaper than taking it to a shop) so i haven't been able to draw lately. i've made a bunch of traditional sketches in the meantime, but none of them are presentable enough to post here, so i decided to take a trip down memory lane and fill out one of foxorian's influence maps!

below the cut are the names of the artists featured here, as well as a little bit of director's commentary on how they've influenced me :]

yugo limbo (website, tumblr, twitter) - some time last year, i realized something profoundly unnerving: i actually... don't like the art in smile for me's original release all that much? that's not to say it's bad, just that there isn't a whole lot about it outside of maybe its architecture that stands out to me. which is REALLY WEIRD, considering i wrote a whole retrospective about how much this game means to me. art-wise, however, it was only after smile for me's release that yugo limbo's art evolved in a way that really resonated with me; i love how textured everything is, i love the way they simplify clothing folds and the way that skin wrinkles around the joints, i love their love for puppets; all of those things ended up worming their way into my art style and tastes one way or another, and i couldn't be happier!! it didn't feel right to leave smile for me out of the equation entirely, though, so i chose a piece that was both related to that game and that i felt reflected a lot of what i love about yugo's more recent art.

echobsilly (twitter, tumblr) - oh god, speaking of yugo limbo - god. i fucking love echo's art so much i have no idea how to even do it justice in writing. like many people i first found him through his smile for me/limbolane fanart and animations - and those are some of his best work, don't get me wrong, but i really wanted to include one of his original designs to make a point that he's just fuckin great at art in general. character design, facial expressions, body language, composition, LIGHTING... he makes it all just. so so so gorgeous. i always liked "painterly" art styles for lack of a better word, but i think his art is what first pushed me to embrace that more in my digital art. i also like how he talks about dr. habit like he's his dead wife. i'm very proud to call him a friend these days :]

japhers (tumblr, twitter, instagram) - i first found japhers' art in high school and he very quickly became a HUUUUUGE influence on my taste in character and costume design. one of the big reasons i never fully bought into the idea that men's fashion is inherently harder to design is bc so much of his art is already dedicated to exploring fashion Without the restrictions of a gender binary in place which is to say that he's really good at drawing buff dudes in frilly outfits. i also think he gave me more confidence to draw more intricate costumes without having to worry about super dainty and clean lineart, bc a lot of his art looks like it's kinda been carved/rendered out of sketches, and it is Gorgeous.

moe suppe (website, tumblr, cohost) - another artist i found in high school, albeit originally from a long-gone instagram account. his art is what kickstarted my desire to have some Roughness in my art, some Texture. it may not have stuck to my lineart, but it Definitely stuck to my rendering. it helped that i was going through a pretty big angel/demon phase at the time, which meant i was pretty immediately drawn in by his delightfully weird worldbuilding. i should probably read fear not now that it's an actual serial...

val wise (website, itch.io, twitter, instagram) - a more recent influence, but a pretty significant one nonetheless. i featured the cover of délicatesse here because it was the first thing from him that i had ever read, but in general his grasp on the human body really blows me away given how deceptively simple his style looks at first glance, especially his faces. the way fat and hair sits on her bodies, and how much it varies from character to character... it's beautiful without being So glamorous that it feels untouchable. his costume design is also great. i recommend his comics for low fantasy/ursula k. le guin fans who are Dying to see more fat characters in leading roles. i also just found out that i am of two hearts is free on itch.io, so i'll be treating myself to that over spring break.

partycoffin (tumblr, twitter) - if you have known me for any amount of time at all then this should not come as a surprise to you. i actually wasn't going to include partycoffin in this map at first, because while welcome home has inspired me in Many creative pursuits, i didn't think visual art was one of them? i definitely picked up some of clown's love for dramatic lighting and thinner lines with just a smidge of well-placed hatching subconsciously, though.

ryoko kui - probably the most recent artist featured here? anyways i have a confession to make: i have yet to read dungeon meshi. i just know that when i saw a post compiling a bunch of ryoko kui's sketches from her daydream hour series, i was so overwhelmed with this feeling of, like… "oh, yeah, these capture almost everything i love about women as flesh and blood people. when i draw women this is the kind of beauty that i want people to see in them." of course, ryoko kui is a great character designer in general, but something about her women specifically really speak to me. the earthier color palettes and rendering also do a lot to endear her art to me.

shuzo oshimi - specifically his art in blood on the tracks. something that really stood out to me in that series was whenever the shadows would get really intense, and you'd get these big blocks of black with just the faintest bit of hatching to soften out some of their edges. it was always very effective in creating this sense of claustrophobia. i really want to keep incorporating that in my more intense pieces!

person918x (tumblr, instagram) - i don't work with 3d art often and i don't see myself doing so any time soon, but the composition of person918x's pieces is something i take a lot of inspiration of. i also love his sequential art, as someone who does a lot of dream journaling it's sick to see the exact Vibe of a dream be put to (digital) canvas. i also firmly believe that he's one of the only people out there who knows what he's doing when it comes to using generative AI in art.

oops i made this list too long so now i have to put the last two artists in a new block.

10. meatgiri (twitter, instagram) - definitely the artist i've known about the longest out of this selection. i think i've been following her since…. oh god. since i was in middle school. way before she was meatgiri, even. i think her influence probably shows up the least in my art, but there are definitely some characteristics that stuck with me for a very long time (the lil block of black accompanied by one or two lines for shading on the neck, the looser lineart making it really easy to incorporate soft curves and sharp edges, the Eyes, etc etc.) i chose this drawing of her oc juniper bc i thought it was both reflective of her current art And a good embodiment of a lot of things i wanted to emulate from her art as a young'un.

11. dragan bibin (website, instagram) - specifically his 'deimos' series. much like with person918x, it's his compositions that really stand out to me the most, and you probably know by now that i'm a sucker for high contrast. i find it interesting though that he uses high contrast to obscure more than he does to highlight... helps a lot with giving the deimos paintings that air of Quiet Unease. another thing i want to incorporate in my horror-adjacent art! manmade environments gone wrong!

[cablestwisted]

The 2023 Fireworks - Ministry of Joy Retrospective

So this is a fun one... Aaand a good two months overdue, my apologies! I've been super caught up with life and it's taken over my ability to create, but I hope to be making more things in the new year.

The 2023 Fireworks were fascinating in many regards and I do hope to make a post hoping to cover some of the theories surrounding its lore, as while it wasn't as lore heavy as other years the implications and reinforcement of existing theories and lore points has me really intrigued. More and more I've been focusing on the lore of the entire park and I really should write more about it but for now this is just about the X-Sector segment of the 2023 fireworks!

Some Backstory

The Ministry of Joy truly had their claws in the 2023 season, because the 2023 fireworks had some truly fascinating lore tidbits about them that were a continuation from the Smiler Takeover event earlier in the season. The shadowy organisation, formerly lurking in the wings, has let themselves be a little more at the forefront in The Smiler's tenth year of operation.

I do adore the new lore additions despite being quiet on them. Far from being too gaudy as I initially feared, it really showed the sinister side of the Ministry while still keeping it quite lighthearted. But my opinion isn't what we're here for!

Wait, was that not The Smiler?

"Welcome advocates to the laughter laboratory! It's time to receive your daily dose of Ministry of Joy approved happiness. A whizzing, spinning, topsy turvy, rib-tickling test drive of your funny bone to make your senses soar!"

The 2023 Fireworks' X-Sector segment was run by the Ministry of Joy, rather than The Smiler! It's something we've seen before to an extent - with the 2022 Festival of Thrills Fireworks' Smiler segment being presented by the Ministry despite using The Smiler's music taste, but this year the music was hugely associated with the different facets of the MoJ.

It seems we're in a bit of a Thrills arc at the moment. Festival of Thrills has been going on for the past 2 years as a continuation of the Powers of the Towers arc that's currently ongoing, and over the course of the events we've seen a lot of new lore implementations and confirmations of fanon. It's certainly an interesting direction and I love the new emphasis on the groups of the park. If we're doing group things, Towers.. Can we bring Galactica as a whole and specifically the Galactanauts back? Rita's racing team maybe?

It's all Festival of Thrills, All the Way Down

The three segments of the X-Sector section of the Fireworks for 2023 was likely based on the three shows of Festival of Thrills.

Celebration of Happiness

The Fear Lab

and Meet The Ministry!

Overall the songs of the sections fit this theory very well. From celebratory and maybe a bit cheesy, straight into thrilling and dark, and finally to mysterious and a bit wacky. It encompasses the themes and motifs of the Ministry of Joy coherently, but also touches on the three shows specifically very nicely!

But it's not just that, there is.. Even more to this rabbit hole of a segment and I won't be able to commentate on all of it today so I'll leave it at just a few more points. This is a far cry from where we were even just four years ago, sitting on lore that hadn't been explored for far too long, and now we're even deeper into the veritable warren of untouched lore potential.

So.. About That Narrator.

This is a bit of a weird one and I'll admit that immediately. He speaks.. Strangely. It's as though he's upturning the ends of every word, creating an almost "uncanny valley" way of speaking, that speaks [no pun intended] to the nature of the Ministry of Joy. It's compelling, a jarring contrast to the narrator of the Katanga Canyon segment that came before it.

It sounds like this person is the voice of a Ministry of Joy announcement, maybe a start of day announcement, or something done intermittently within the facility to remind Advocates to Smile. Always. Certainly it's not the first evidence we'd have of this, looking back at Festival of Thrills.

It's nice to have some more information about life within the Ministry of Joy's main facility. I talked more about it in a post about Festival of Thrills in general, but I do need to talk even more about it because the entire event is again just.. Such a rabbit hole and I'm honoured to have been able to go so many times. Sidenote, I apologise for linking so many of my videos, but I did a lot of lore documentation work during the event that I'm super proud of and it's all on my youtube channel and some of it is very compelling, like the whole spider thing. I will write about that soon I promise.

All Good Things Must Come To An End..

This likely won't be the last post about the 2023 Fireworks nor indeed about the Ministry of Joy lore from the past year or so. There's a lot to cover, and while I've been covering a lot of it in my videos I definitely need to put more stock into writing down what I'm thinking and amending previous theories with current knowledge. Maintaining the Masterpost is a lot of work and it takes me many many hours every time I alter anything within it or even just add a new post. That said.. Happy holidays. I hope you have a good one, and I wish you all the best possible time.

Also.. There might be a meme video before the end of the year. Or several. You've been warned.

[theuntitledblog]

WWE SummerSlam (2024) - REVIEW

I used to look forward to the annual SummerSlam event ever since I started watching WWE following SummerSlam 1996. That event, much like this one, also featured a stunning betrayal in one of its pivotal matches when Paul Bearer betrayed the Undertaker for Mankind. So SummerSlam played a significant part in discovering my love for wrestling, I even bought VHS tapes of SummerSlam 1988, 89, 90, 91, and 92 as I retrospectively discovered that era of wrestling. SummerSlam 1996-8 remained highlight events during my time of watching WWE but with the exception of perhaps the 2000 and 2002 event, SummerSlam to me never quite felt as important again compared to the other Big 4 events of WWE.

Perhaps part of the issue is that SummerSlam lacks a unique concept; Royal Rumble and Survivor Series have always been built around a particular match type while WrestleMania has always been the biggest spectacle of the sport. SummerSlam has had moments over the years but to me at least it just hasn't felt quite as important to the other 3 ... maybe that's just me, I don't know. The point I'm trying to make is that the 2024 SummerSlam was the first time in as long as I can remember that the event did feel that it had that same gravitas as the other Big 4 events. This is a show that didn't have a diverse card in terms of match type; there were no tag team matches, triple threat, cage, ladder or any other creative match that other events have utilised. This was a stadium show with 7 singles matches that all had a long-term story at its centre and whose outcomes would redraw the map of the main roster. OK, sure, the match outcomes were generally what I predicted, but while watching the event, there were moments where I doubted those outcomes as the in-ring drama drew me in. SummerSlam 2024, for me, has been the best event PLE since WrestleMania 40 and even then, maybe slightly better in some respects.

MATCH 1 - WWE Women's Championship: Liv Morgan (champion) vs. Rhea Ripley

SummerSlam got off to a very strong start with this opening match, which was never going to struggle in terms of story, but when it came to the in-ring action? I wasn't sure, but that doubt was more about Liv Morgan than Rhea Ripley. There's no question that the Liv Morgan of recent years couldn't be more different than the way she was during her time with The Riott Squad, but even then there's been something about her that hasn't always convinced despite defeating Ronda Rousey for her first World title. Her scrappy style in the ring, the constant underdog presentation didn't help the feeling that she was often punching above her weight when stepping into the ring with the likes of the Four Horsewomen, Asuka and even Rhea Ripley. However, since returning at the 2024 Royal Rumble, things have felt felt very different with her. She had a strong showing in the Rumble and Elimination Chamber, and the post-WrestleMania storyline between Morgan and the Judgment Day has been an unexpected hit. She's looked convincing in the ring, the storyline with Dominik has been captivating week after week and this is by far the best program she's featured in where she looks strong.

So, going back to my doubts regarding the in-ring action for their match at SummerSlam? I needn't have worried. This was a fantastic match from start to finish that thankfully, didn't feel like a complete mis-match. Rhea Ripley got to show off her superior strength and looked superb and Liv Morgan likewise worked in some good offense and felt like a threat with a clever injury angle that I honestly couldn't tell was real or not judging by Ripley's excellent selling. But this was a match where you sensed something was going to happen, but you just weren't sure what exactly. In the end, it was exactly what this match needed, and while Morgan got the major win, the post-match betrayal with Dominik will absolutely be what this match is most remembered for thanks to tolheir performances, the crowd reactions and even the commentators. It's an outstanding start to SummerSlam in a match that delivered more than I could've hoped for.

****

MATCH 2 - Intercontinental Championship: Sami Zayn (champion) vs. Bron Breakker

How do you follow an outstanding opening match? By being something different. This was an interesting match as firstly, this was pretty much the only match on the card that came down to the in-ring action alone. The second thing was that out of all the matches on the card, this is the one I would've changed to maybe a Triple Threat Match and include the likes of Jey Uso or Ilja Dragunov rather than just duplicate the previous PLE. That's not to suggest that this match was bad because it wasn't, but by the end of the night this was the one that I had pretty much forgotten about. It was a short match that cut to the chase by having a dominant Bron Breakker win his first Intercontinental title. It certainly made sense although it didn't offer up any surprises and seemed to realize that they couldn't outdo the match beforehand. I'm excited by what's to come with Breakker as champion but I still kinda felt that their match at Money at the Bank was the better one and I'm not sure what was achieved by delaying it till here. I guess that's why I'm the fan and not the booker.

***

MATCH 3 - United States Championship: Logan Paul (champion) vs. L.A Knight

The rise in the popularity of L.A. Knight has genuinely surprised me and seemed to come out of nowhere following his feud with the late Bray Wyatt. I'm certainly no hater of Knight, but I'd be lying if I said I was a big fan or that his matches were something I particularly looked forward to. But if the match with A.J Styles at WrestleMania proved anything is that he can put on a show and deliver some fun, if not classic, matches. On the other side, you have Logan Paul, who I've stated before is so much better in the ring than he has any right to be. The decision to put the US title on Paul was a controversial one, and I had hoped it might boost the profile of a title that's never felt as prestigious compared to the Intercontinental title. I don't know if they achieved that, although Knight's victory here was a genuine feel-good moment and a just reward for a star whose stock has been steadily rising. The match wasn't the best on the card, but it benefitted from a good story coming in, plus Paul makes for such a dislikeable heel that I was really rooting for Knight here. It was a physical back and forth clash with Paul really showing the consequence of the physicality. A super plex spot looked scary as Paul seemed to struggle to get into the right position on the way down, and it made me and my friend wince. But this was the right result that rightfully rewarded Knight, who I think is an ideal choice to try to elevate this title. I just hope they build upon this moment.

*** 1/2

MATCH 4 - Women's Championship: Bayley (champion) vs. Nia Jax

Nia Jax is clearly enjoying what has been her best run since returning to WWE. She has looked better, been given better storylines, and most of all, she's been impressive in the ring and has put on some great matches with the likes of Rhea Ripley and Becky Lynch. Her triumph in the Queen of the Ring tournament was the right decision and has given Nia a well-deserved push into a position that she probably should have reached earlier. Bayley likewise has also had a good run since the Royal Rumble which included a major title win at WrestleMania and a solid reign as champion even if the reign itself hasn't been as quite as memorable as her heel run as champion with Sasha Banks by her side. I liked the Damage Contrl angle and felt that the group didn't go over as much as they probably should have but her Royal Rumble and World Title win at WrestleMania seemed to come out of nowhere and was a recognition for what has been an outstanding career. But you definitely got the feeling that this was Jax's time and while the crowd disappointingly didn't seem to be into parts of this which admittedly didn't have strongest story of the two women's matches on the card. The match itself was pretty good in itself, where both came out looking strong, and the crowd did wake up following the powerbomb spot on Jax. The Tiffany Stratton dynamic with Jax will intrigue going forward, but the only question mark for me is where does Bayley go from here?

***

MATCH 5 - CM Punk vs. Drew Mcintyre with Seth Rollins as the Special Guest Referee

Things couldn't have gone worse for CM Punk at the Royal Rumble. One of the most anticipated in-ring returns in recent memory for a star with so much baggage and drama hanging over him, and it ends with a major injury. In any other circumstance, this would've been a disaster, yet WWE managed to create one of the most compelling storylines and bitterest of feuds in as long as I can remember. This was perhaps the most anticipated match on the card and where one of the major participants hadn't wrestled in nearly 7 months! It's testament to the quality of the change from the McMahon era to the Levesque era of WWE that a match like this can be so anticipated and main event worthy.

I don't know whether Seth Rollins was really needed but I don't think his presence hurt things either especially since it's a reasonable assumption that Rollins vs. Punk is one of the next major feuds to come. I really liked how they built up the tension as much as possible with Rollins delaying ringing the bell while both Punk and McIntyre looked ready to tear each other apart. The match was very physical and was just oozing storytelling throughout and the crowd absolutely loved it. A big thumbs up for the call back to the conclusion of the main event of SummerSlam 1997 as well. I sometimes wonder whether matches like this work as well for a live audience especially when the more story driven moments and exchanges in the ring can only be heard by the viewers at home. Whatever the answer is, what doesn't change is that the in-ring action was good, CM Punk looked great in the ring, the match was filled with compelling drama and delivered on the night.

****

MATCH 6 - World Heavyweight Championship: Damian Priest (champion) vs. Gunther

No other superstar has risen to the top faster or thrived more during the Triple H era of WWE than Gunther. What he lacks in visual flair is more than compensated by his ring presence as a dominant heel in hard hitting matches. Not since Brock Lesnar has a superstar felt as legitimate in the ring as Gunther and it's crystal clear just how much he's valued by WWE in the way he's been booked since arriving on the main roster. His record breaking run as Intercontinental champion is legend in itself and his only pinfall loss felt like the natural next step for what felt was an inevitable run as a World champion. I'm a huge Gunther fan so this is a big moment as a fan but the only downside is that this comes at the expense (sort of) of Damian Priest whom I equally felt was finally coming into his own as champion. It's fitting therefore that two of the biggest rising stars in WWE right now put on the best match of the night.

Did it have the best storyline of the night going in? No however the build-up was helped by some personal jibes from Gunther in the last couple of weeks all the while WWE has been promoting the story of Damian Priest's wrestling career that has helped give things a more personal edge. The brawls they've engaged in on Raw have certainly helped bring a little more heat to the match which made the hard hitting action land even harder. Priest and Gunther looked more than a match for each other with both landing heavy moves including chops which drew blood from The Ring General himself. There were moments where I thought that this might end in a more conventional manner but at the same time there was that sense, given the progression of the night, that more drama might be on the way and in that respect I was not disappointed. Finn Balor's betrayal has been a long time coming and completed the implosion of the Judgment Day which turned out to be one of the biggest takeaways from SummerSlam 2024. This is a match that has redrawn Monday Night Raw considerably while at the same time elevating everyone involved. This has injected new life into the Judgement Day storyline, set up Priest and Balor on a path for what could be a career making feud and and of course elevated Gunther into the main event scene as World champion. This for me was the best match of the night in terms of in-ring action and while maybe the drama of the opening match was tough to beat, in terms of long term consequences this could be even more far reaching.

****

MAIN EVENT - WWE Undisputed Championship: COdy Rhodes (champion) vs. Solo Sikoa

I've got to be honest that I never saw this coming. It's strange to think that for so long we were so focused on the Bloodline storyline with Roman Reigns as Undisputed Champion that we didn't really stop to consider what might happen afterwards. Did anyone really expect to see Solo Sikoa as the next leader of the Bloodline or in the main event for the Undisputed title? I certainly didn't and credit is due for making this new line-up of the Bloodline as credible a threat as possible with the introduction of some new faces that has generally been a success. It's taken some time but with patience and some key victories at Backlash and Money in the Bank, Solo Sikoa for me looks comfortable in this spot and to be fair he and Cody Rhodes put on a very fine match to close the show.

But ... like some of the latter matches of Roman Reign's run as champion, this sadly fell prey to a sense of predictability. The Bloodline rules stipulation that was put in rather last minute was a mistake for me in that it essentially sign posted what we should expect. It's not like this hasn't worked before and I'm not suggesting that this spoiled things, but given the ending of the still rather recent WrestleMania, it just felt too similar and worse too was that the crowd were in on it and waiting. The crowd therefore never seemed too into this match despite the efforts that Rhodes and Sikoa were putting because they knew the match wasn't going to end before that moment occurred. Roman Reign's return stole the show in that match and was the biggest talking point of the main event, not Cody and not Solo which is a shame because they put on a good show.

*** 1/2

OVERALL

I thought this was an incredible SummerSlam and probably best one I've seen in many years. I was surprised how this was a single's match only card but the storylines leading into each of them more than made up for it. Were the results to be expected generally? Yes however the drama involved within each made this event feel like an important one especially in how they've redrawn the dynamics of both Raw and Smackdown going forward.

FAVOURITE MATCH - Damian Priest vs. Gunther

LEAST FAVOURITE MATCH - Sami Zayn vs. Bron Breakker

FAVOURITE MOMENT - Dominik betrays Rhea Ripley

LEAST FAVOURITE MOMENT - The scary looking superplex during L.A Knight vs. Logan Paul.

EXCEEDED EXPECTATIONS - Liv Morgan vs. Rhea Ripley

COULD’VE BEEN BETTER - Sami Zayn vs. Bron Breakker

UNSUNG HERO - Jelly Roll

[poohsources]

HELLO EVERYONE! as the year is slowly but surely coming to its end, and i'm now home for the holidays, i thought it was finally time to make another one of these. partially to give a little update on what's been going on in my life and partially as some sort of retrospect for this past year and a look into my plans for next year.

looking back, it's been quite an eventful year — especially when compared to the weird covid years we had to deal with previously. the biggest change was probably my dropping out of college to start a dual studies program in law. i did like my college program just fine ( until i didn't anymore ) but i really feel like law is my thing. and apparently everyone else in my circle of family and friends thinks so as well because i seem a hell of a lot happier than i did before. kinda unfortunate it took me seven years since quitting high school to figure that bit out, but hey, at least i got there in the end. it's been quite time-consuming, and i feel like in those past five months, i've already learned more than i did in all my years of college, but it's fun. i also finally got some new friends my age again. it's also strange to think back that just one year ago i was still struggling financially and just generally dealing with some bad mental health stuff.

i'm actually happy now.

in terms of tumblr and roleplaying, i gotta be honest that i have been sidelining it a lot over the last months. sure, i'm still around but it's not my primary focus, and i'm learning that it's okay not to be online all the time. it's okay to take breaks and focus on other things because as much as i love this blog, the community and tumblr, there are some more important things now. still, i am and always will be eternally grateful to every single person who supports me - whether it is by liking or reblogging posts, sending asks or messages, following me or using any of my stuff. it means so freaking much to me, and i always feel so proud whenever i randomly see my own stuff pop up on my dash because mutuals use it. thank you all so very much! in a similar vein, i honestly still cannot fathom that i almost managed to double the follower count this past year. i'm probably not gonna reach the goal i've kinda been looking at until the end of the year but that's okay. i am so incredibly grateful for everyone here anyway. no matter what.

as for next year - i'm not too sure what i'm gonna do. of course. i'm gonna keep posting memes, and templates and whatever other stuff i feel like doing, but i think my activity is gonna keep on being spotty. i'm also still tempted to do commissions one day ( and we're totally gonna ignore that i've been saying this for over a year now, okay? ) but with the amount of time i don't have, i'm not sure i'm gonna be able to deliver on that. if i do finally build the courage and self-esteem to do that, it will be like an occasional thing that might take some time. however, one thing i do wanna do more of is gifs. i'm not sure what kind of gifs, but i enjoy making them and it's been way too long since i did them so i'm gonna see how i'm gonna incorporate that. or if anyone has any specific gifs they want, always feel free to shoot me an ask or a message. maybe also some aesthetic-y stuff? after all do love making pinterest boards for characters.

maybe i'll also do a blog reveal once i finally set up my multi that i've been planning to work on for months now. since i'm gonna scrap my current main blog ( which i haven't really been active on in a while now anyway ) i'm kinda thinking of coming back to writing and who knows, maybe i'm gonna reveal it here in case anyone would like to write with me.

anyway, this was a lot of rambling, and if you've made it this far, i once again wanna thank you. i know i do this a lot but i really do appreciate you all being here so much, and even after two years of having this silly little blog, it still feels unreal to me that so many people here enjoy what i do.

much love and happy holidays, pooh 🧡

[caluski]

again, a brief moment of self-reflection :-)

turning a little older yet again, i think its funny to see myself changing still. i wont lie that my life feels that much different from what it used to be - but other than boring things such as employment or housing or the lack of relationships, something has perhaps shifted in a bit quiet way, one you usually notice upon retrospection much later.

i think im still pretty much a hopeless romantic, in that stupid, proud, dramatic way that makes me absolutely fucking insufferable. everything must be either grand or tragic. obviously, its not a bad thing in itself, but it does make me far too self indulgent for my own good. i know i have to learn patience towards others, and domesticate my solitude, otherwise soon life will drive me even madder... there is a lot to reconsider when it comes to what i expect from life and people in my life, even if it feels like i overthought everything to death and back already.

the big goals for 29th year is definitely going back on meds. or should i say, finding meds that actually work for me. theres a lot that i want - such as moving out and becoming independent, having a stable job i dont have to worry about losing, or finding companionship in my daily life - but i want to be realistic just once. last year, i remember finding out about the layoffs right before summer ended, and i thought - my next job will be the one that fixes everything. obviously, its not, not yet at least. even the minimum wage aside, im annoyed with lots of aspects of it, so its far from perfect. i wish i could land a safe, corporate job that pays enough to keep me afloat on my own, but, well.

but like, other than all my actual flaws, i dont think my attempt to romanticize everything is that bad in itself. it does make good-but-normal things seem far too good to be true (like having friends, being loved, having a safe home - how can it ever be real for me, if its so beautiful???), but other than that, i do like the way it makes me feel. i like treating every coffee like the biggest blessing of the day. i like how good music makes me tear up. i like it when days are so good, theyll feel like a dream when i look back at them. i just have to keep it under a little bit of control. i have to get used to the thought that the world is not out there to cater for me, that i am not in fact the center of the universe, that everything goes on no matter what. i always liked the thought of being not the main character of life, but more of a best friend or love interest; youre still there, you can participate, you can be significant if you put your mind to it, but the world wont stop for you. also, i do like the sentiment of someone's main purpose in life being both giving and receiving of love. i might lack the brains and beauty for much more, but love, i think everyone is capable of, no matter what - and it includes me, in the end.

i want to spend more time taking pictures and listening to music. going to cafes and having long walks. i want to try going back to drawing. i wanna get better at writing - god, if this wall of text alongside all my other silly little posts arent a proof of that...... - which of course, means reading more, too. i wanna hear more live music. local, or maybe the big performances, if artists i like come over to warszawa or kraków or something. also, i wanna travel a little more. even if just to sit in a local cafe and watch the traffic. i wanna visit żmija (if youre reading this, i swearrrrrrr im not trying to invite myself over - but maybe if im in kraków or something, we could see each other closer to your home. which could also be fun because its such a big city, so much to see, so many cafes to experience. maybe a gay bar to visit? are there any worth dancing in?). and i do wanna continue collecting vinyls - slowly, as they are so costly, but still. and i do wanna become more outgoing, i want to take more risks, even if it leaves my stupid little heart sore and exposed.... rejection is inevitable, right? and i do want to catch up with romantic experiences, too. i want to feel something for someone again, even if its one-sided and desperate and miserable. but i miss it so badly, so so badly. i want to have someone to pour out my affection on - consensually. i want someone to want to be loved by me as i am, with all this mess of loud, intense feelings, without being freaked out. or maybe getting freaked out in a good way.

anyway. such a gloomy day calls for love & food playlist promo. have a good evening everyone! mwah

[canmom]

went to the big palestine demo today.

perhaps because the government kicked up a fuss about Armistice Day, or perhaps by gradual snowballing, it was probably one of the largest political demos I've been on - street was packed from end to end as far as the eye could see. maybe the BLM demos in the summer a few years ago were of comparable scale, but honestly i think this one was bigger. hours after i reached the end the column of marchers was still stretching back to the bridge at least. i can post some pictures when I've had time to scrub faces out of them.

i decided to improvise a protest sign this time. i had to buy permanent markers en route, so i wrote out the sign by the side of the road. some fascist prick walked by as i did this to call me a leftist pedo who doesn't know what gender I'm supposed to be in a tone of the most vehement disgust, which was oddly affirming. cunt must have fancied himself a poet, answering me giving him the finger with 'what are you, a man or a mouse?', which is cracking me up in retrospect.

there was a lot of rightful anger in the protest. lots of people led chants - at one point i saw the megaphone was held by a child who looked about 7. it was affirming to be surrounded by people who give a shit, even if they're all strangers. the organisers led us to the US embassy, where there were two different stages set up for speakers - most of them Palestinian but there was one Welsh MP there as well, maybe the Welsh politicians are less cowardly than England's. there were also the usual panoply of SWP gazebos trying to recruit people to help them carry out the important socialist activities of flogging newspapers and recruiting more SWP members. the end felt a bit aimless - after the focused energy of marching A to B, it ended in people going forward to the SWP/bookstore/painfully loud sound system area and then milling around, then either coming back to either stand by the first stage or gradually go home. it is frustrating to me that the willingness of a political demo to cause real disruption tends to be inversely proportional to its scale. but this was largely a symbolic march, that will make headlines just by virtue of the scale.

the US embassy itself (which has a fucking moat) was pretty locked down with cops and thick barriers stopping anyone approaching the entrances. my ears are still full of protest chants and my voice is a bit hoarse. apparently the UK gov is due to vote on whether to call for a ceasefire in a week. exactly how much diplomatic pressure they'll apply if that vote goes through, i can only speculate. in the meantime, we really need to be applying direct pressure on Elbit factories and other components of the weapons industry. but that's a lot riskier than an A to B march and requires much better opsec, so you know. if someone's working on that and they're any good at what they're doing, it won't be planned in public.

[cherryberg]

Also. This is your sign to introduce an OC. Here and now

hi ardate :] this is a bit late but, since i did it, i might as well introduce her now in this post

for my april fool's day joke, i did a little trick on the find everything discord server where i made a handful of screenshots showing a new (fake) character:

this is Myla Warper, a Whatsit Woods NPC

i don't have much on her at the moment, and i suspect a lot about her lore will become obsolete when 0.3 comes around, but essentially, she's an engineer and the inventor of the Warp, the in-game fast travel system. she spends a lot of time at home, but is getting out a little more, using the Warp and a range of mobility aids

she managed to trick a few folks (which, looking at how the first find everything hoax, wouldn't've been a hard thing to pull off) but, shortly after - though, in retrospect, it could've been left revealed until the end of the day, i revealed the prank with:

anyway, i'll put the fake screenshots under the cut and maybe post Myla concepts in a reblog :] + notes. there'll be notes. i've got notes

i don't remember when exactly i conceptualised Myla, but it might've been between when 0.2 was released and when the developers streamed their 0.2 launch stream a few days later. this is because i had this thought of Myla living in that old abandoned house, working away at her tech (in the early stages, Myla's outfit in my mind would be a the classic tanktop and half-worn jumpsuit where the top half was tied around her waist, you know the look), but obviously had to be just a fun scrapped idea when it was discussed on the stream that Old Man Majig lives there

still, Myla being hidden away in this corner of Whatsit Woods is reminiscent of that idea i guess. it is also just a very good spot for something you could've missed, especially since the community had been combing through save files looking for the second fun value, but it does sort of make her following dialogue a little strange as she's not near any Warp pads

this bit is meant to, like, mirror dialogue from "tutorial NPCs" who casually introduce new concepts to the player. having worked hard on drawing Illie last year for Halloween, i had her a lot in mind, with Illie also being a tutorial NPC. looked over her 5 lines of dialogue a lot to try and get the vibe down right (of course, she wasn't the only one, but she was the main one) .. i can wrap my head around the Find Everything art style, but writing stuff that matches the FE vibe got me stumped so i hope it didnt stand out all that much

originally, those first two lines where different and. stiffer for a long while ("I actually make a few Warp Drives myself!"/"Er… Let's not be humble, maybe more than a few. Maybe all of 'em."), but i think it worked out in the end. the very first bit of dialogue was also changed ("Hey there, blockling! Just on a walk.") to just be combined with the next line but i just really wanted to preserve that "blockling" here. i know it's just the species name of like. the Roblox character, but it also reads as a little endearing term to me

ahh, the reason why i sort of thought up Myla in the first place. see, a big contention in the find everything community is Whatsit Woods being the only major area in the game without a Warp Drive, despite there already being Warp pads by its entrances in two neighbouring areas. the lack of a Whatsit Woods Warp is very likely to be changed with the 0.3 map rework, but i always thought this (and the Construction Zone Warp.. ) discourse was stupid. Myla going "No. Why? I live here." is like. cathartic to me.(??)

but regardless, she and Watcher Macallit are kind of ocs born from asking "why is this the way it is?" why is there no Whatsit Warp Drive? what makes a Thing a Thing? just ocs to play with and sort of expand worldbuilding, and i love doing this

[loominggaia]

Full Gastro Obscura Interview

A while back I posted about the interview I did with Gastro Obscura. (If you haven't seen it, click the link and check it out! It's about the importance of cuisine in worldbuilding. It features other worldbuilders too and their work is great!)

They weren't able to use the entire interview in the article, but gave me permission to post it here. I wanted to wait a while before I did so that their blog could get the clicks it deserves.

Now it's time, so here it is!

1) What name would you prefer me to use for you in the article? And where are you located?

A ) You can just call me Alex or Alex Greys! I’m located in Washington, USA.

2) How long have you been worldbuilding? And do you do it primarily as a hobby for its own sake, or as part of a larger project you are developing?

A ) I’ve been worldbuilding since I was in kindergarten, or maybe a little before then. I learned to read and write earlier than most kids, and I spent a lot of time writing fantasy stories and creating worlds for them. In retrospect, I wouldn’t call it a hobby. I think it’s more of a coping mechanism I used to escape reality, because I’ve spent most of my life trapped in situations where I have no control. Worldbuilding gave me control over something.

I didn’t start taking it seriously until 2017, when I contracted a flu that left me with severe post-viral syndrome. I was stuck in a wheelchair for over a year and developed chronic conditions that kept me in bed for long periods of time. My body was broken, I could hardly do anything physical for years after that. I decided this was the time to buckle down and finally do something with this writing skill I developed.

I wanted to commit to a larger project than the little ones I’ve done in the past. I started writing the World of Looming Gaia series in 2017, and it’s still going strong 7 years later in 2024! My health has been up and down ever since, but Looming Gaia has always been there to support me when my body won’t.

3) Was food always something that you incorporated into your world? If not, when/how did food become an aspect of your worldbuilding?

A ) This part is pretty interesting, because even though cuisine is so essential in real-world cultures, it wasn’t something I thought about until several years into my project. I believe this is because my health conditions really limited my diet. By that I mean, I could only tolerate the same 3 or 4 bland foods every day for years on end, and this limited diet was driving me insane. Eating became this immense source of stress and physical pain for me. I resented food and never wanted to think about it.

One day, my husband complained that he wanted food from a restaurant, but we couldn’t afford it. So, I told him I would cook him something instead. I never cooked much in the past, but I looked up a random recipe online and gave it a go anyway. It turned out pretty good, so I started researching more about cooking so I could make more meals for him.

Cooking for other people fixed my damaged relationship with food. I was still stuck on the same bland diet due to my health, but I didn’t resent food anymore. I finally saw the value in cuisine as an art form and developed an interest in it, so I decided to incorporate it into my worldbuilding. Looking back, I’m embarrassed that it took me so long to incorporate something so vital into my world. I think cuisine is one of the first things worldbuilders should think about when developing cultures.

4) Why is it important for you, or worldbuilders in general, to consider the food that characters are eating, and make food a part of the storytelling?

A ) What people are eating can tell you a lot about their culture, and it can tell you a lot about the area where they live too. When you examine what’s on a character’s plate, you get a glimpse of what crops and meats are available to them, and this forces the worldbuilder to consider things like the climate and geography of that location. It all ties together.

It also gives the worldbuilder an opportunity to explore their cultural practices, like maybe they are from a purely vegetarian or carnivorous culture, and the worldbuilder must come up with reasons why that might be. They can also consider the health implications of such a diet, and that might change the appearance or behavior of a character. Cuisine can say so much. It opens the doors to all kinds of stories and concepts.

5) When it comes to food, what factors or details are most important for you/worldbuilders in general to consider?

A ) When worldbuilding, I think it’s important that different aspects of your cultures feel cohesive and make sense. For example, let’s say you wanted to create a culture that lives in an arctic tundra environment. You decide that their native cuisine is hippopotamus meat and coconuts because it sounds cool or whatever, but you should ask yourself if that really makes sense when their environment doesn’t support those plants and animals.

Worldbuilders should ask themselves what their people/creatures are eating and also WHY they’re eating it. Is it because they have to, for nutrition or scarcity reasons? Or because they prefer these foods over others for taste? The history of the region and the biology of the people matters too. How accessible is food to the average person in this culture? Is famine an issue? What do the rich people eat compared to what the poor are eating? Do they use ingredients that are imported from other lands?

These are some of the questions worldbuilders should ask themselves when developing cuisines. As you write the answers, you’ll find pieces of a puzzle naturally coming together and building cohesive concepts.

6) Where do you get inspiration from? Real-world cultures, history, etc.? 

A ) Inspiration comes from everywhere! Sometimes I look at real-world cuisines from regions that are similar to my own, and I ask myself if these dishes would make sense in my lore. If not, I can tweak them as needed and create something more original.

I take a lot of inspiration from what animals eat too. When you’re writing fantasy creatures with animal traits, like centaurs and satyrs for example, I think it’s helpful to look at what those animal counterparts eat in the real world and why.

Do they have specific nutritional needs? Do they have to eat hard things to grind down their teeth? Do they eat little stones to help them digest stuff? These dietary factors can carry over into fantasy species too and make them more interesting.

7) Tell me a little about the process for developing the different cuisines that you profile in Looming Gaia. Do individual characters, settings, or cultures that you have created dictate the food that you think of? Or is it more the other way around, that you think of an interesting idea for food first, and then see where it fits into the setting?

A ) When I’m developing a cuisine, the very first thing I do is look at the climate and geography of the region. I ask myself what kind of crops would grow there and what kind of animals would make the most sense to hunt and ranch. I also look at the species of the peoples who live there. A troll’s diet, for example, is going to be very different from a human’s diet because they have different nutritional needs.

The next step is to consider other factors such as religion, economy, trade relations with other regions, and so on, because these can all affect what resources are available to them. I think about what foods may not be native to the area, but could be imported from foreign lands.

I never come up with a cuisine first and build a culture around it, though I do think this is a perfectly valid way to worldbuild. I always take the opposite approach and build the cuisine around the culture. I try to create at least 10 traditional dishes per region, including a typical breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, snacks, and drinks both alcoholic and non-alcoholic. When all of them are put together, it can paint a vivid picture in the reader’s mind of what the whole culture is like.

8) What’s one aspect or detail of your own food worldbuilding that you are most proud of, or think is the coolest?

A ) So far I’m most proud of my Mogdiri cuisine concepts. The Mogdiri are a kingdom of magic-users who refuse to eat animals for cultural reasons, but they don’t consider insects to be animals. For this culture, I had to come up with traditional cuisine that centered around bugs and bug byproducts. It was intimidating at first, but I’m really happy with the way it turned out.

*

Questions/Comments?

Lore Masterpost

Read the Series

[marilysugarcoated]

I have no words to describe how I feel right now

All i can really make out of this huge messy ball of unidentifiable emotion, is my unwavering gratitude.

Thank you. so much.

objectively, it sounds dumb and stupid that I’m getting so worked up over the ending of a “silly minecraft series”, but it is so much more than that. To me, this represents something so much bigger, -a hard truth i refused to confront.

Growth is inevitable, and childhood does not last forever. I knew that- I’ve always known that. and still, a part of me had always rejected the idea of change. I’d always described myself as an optimist who was open to change; someone who embraced and relished in it. I held a firm philosophy in not mulling over outcomes you couldn’t control, and i did whatever I could to keep myself in that ‘healthy’ positive mindset. I knew that if I’d done anything differently, the girl from my childhood would wander farther from my reach.

Eventually, the favourite foods id once adored as a kid began to lose its flavour, (I’d briefly wondered if they’d changed the recipe) I began to notice the slight changes in my behaviour and body language; more tentative- almost insecure. The results from personality quizzes did not match with those I’d taken in previous years, I never really realized exactly how withdrawn I’d become.

Reality was rearing it’s ugly head, and we couldn’t have that, could we? -so, I desperately clung to anything and everything that was reminiscent of the little girl I’d grown to know so well. Subconsciously, i started regressing- I found myself helplessly depending on others, unable to go out anywhere without a stuffed animal, frequently putting my hair in pigtails, and engaging in more child-like activities, (at least, more than usual.)

These past few years, I’d felt as though I had lost my sense of self. I would force myself to feel and act accordingly to this perceived version of me. ‘Turns out that this ‘version of myself’ was just the girl I was before. Before the pandemic, before high-school, before I’d learned that the world was not all cotton candy and sugar cookies.- before; where my worries consisted only of stardew and genshin- before; where being happy was my default.

Watching the final episode snapped me out of my delusional reverie, and it felt as though Stampy had allowed me a sense of closure. I was beguiled when his video popped up in my youtube recommendations, not to mention the fact that it was his FINAL episode.

In truth, I didn’t expect it to hit me as much as it did. I mean, I hadn’t exactly planned on spending my saturday night sobbing to a minecraft let’s play vid lmao. Sure, in retrospect this really isn’t as big of a deal as I’m making it seem. And to that I say; yea. lol im even cringing myself out a bit, but hey, i’ve always been one for theatrics. ;)

But really; as I scrolled through the comments (still crying btw), I’d finally allowed myself to mourn, and confront the fact that I have grown up. I could no longer consider myself a little kid,, and that’s okay. it will be okay.

This is the end of an era. further more, it is the start of something new. The real world awaits, and i have Stampy (and others) to thank for the person I am today:)

It has been such a privilege to be part of this community of others raised alongside me, and to have had the pleasure of little-me experiencing the elation she’d felt when Stampy posted a new video.

Sincerely, thank you. Thank you soso much Stampy, for bringing so much joy and laughter to us many young kids— turned young adults

It’s been an unforgettable ride:)

Now, all we can do is move forward.- Take life as it is, and carefully construct our own worlds so that maybe, (just maybe,) they can become as lovely as yours has. ❤️‍🩹🐈

[wartakes]

What’s Going On in Ukraine?: An Explainer (OLD ESSAY)

This essay was first posted on April 7th, 2021, and seems somewhat quaint now in retrospect.

This essay was written in response to the then-ongoing Ukraine crisis where it looked like a war might kick off in the Spring of 2021. Little did we know that it was pretty much just the pre-gaming for what would happen NEXT Spring.

(Full essay below the cut).

So, this is another one of those essays I didn’t originally plan on writing for the month. But then the darndest thing happened about a week ago: Russia got back on its bullshit.

Now everyone is wondering if the war in Eastern Ukraine is going to reignite or potentially escalate even further than the heights it reached after the initial outbreak of war in 2014. Now I don’t think time is a flat circle, but I do think the idea that “history doesn’t repeat itself, but it often rhymes” has some merit here.

As this conflict is a bit of a hobby horse of mine, I’ve been keeping a close eye on it (perhaps too much for my own good) ever since things started to escalate at the end of March. As more of my friends and peers have started to ask questions and express concern over what’s going on and what may happen next and certain parties have started to spread bad takes or downright misinformation and lies, I decided that maybe a little explainer and synthesis of current analysis was in order for folks on what the situation is currently with Ukraine and Russia.

I was going to write about Iran this month, but I guess we’ll save one piece about a potential war crisis and trade it for a separate but different one.

Just up front: this is a situation that is changing every day, so I can only make this as current as the moment I post it – but I’ll do my best in this regard. Also, I’m going to make no illusion about my biases in this case (spoilers: I’m not on Russia’s side, and if you have a problem with that, I dunno: cry about it, tankie). Also, a lot of my sources for this are Tweets and threads by analysts and observers that have been popping up as things have been going on and have the potential to suddenly vanish – as Twitter is want to do – so I apologize for any broken links or lost sources.

What’s Exactly Is Happening?

Over the past week, we’ve seen an extensive Russian military buildup along its border with Ukraine. Now, that in itself is not unusual. Russia holds large-scale military exercises – including both planned and snap drills – on a pretty regular basis. None of that specifically is new or shocking. But analysts have pointed out that there are several factors that make this occurrence different in a worrying way.

First there’s the context. This military buildup happens in the midst of a sudden and sharp escalation in hostilities along the line of contact between the Ukrainian military and pro-Russian rebels in the Donbas region. While the war in Donbas has remained very much active since reaching a stalemate in 2015, it has been relatively quiet and low-level until now. The Organization for Security and Co-operation in Europe has registered a sharp increase in violations of the ceasefire previously agreed upon between the belligerents in July of last year.  As of April 6, 2021, two more Ukrainian soldiers had been killed in the previous 24 hours, with four having been killed by enemy shelling in late March (it is unknown how many rebel troops have died, if any). It is against that backdrop that Russia is now flowing additional military forces into the region.

Another part of the context factor is the timing. While Russia does undertake large, seasonal exercises, analysts and observers have noted that these drills have taken place outside of the typical schedule. And while Russia has been known to undertake snap drills and exercises, again, experts note that they’ve never seen a sudden callup or mobilization like this one outside of scheduled wargames before. Its not an understatement to say that its pretty unprecedented. For what it’s worth, Russia has now declared a combat readiness check across the entire Ministry of Defense (after all of these movements had already been going on for several days, of course).

This leads into the second major factor, which is the sheer size of the buildup. Over the past week, social media has been flushed with photos and video of large amounts of Russian military equipment flowing west into illegally annexed Crimea and the western regions of Russia bordering on Ukraine. So far, it shows no sign of stopping, with train load after trainload of armor and other vehicles heading west. The Russian military has been using so many railcars that agricultural machinery manufacturers reportedly haven’t been able to ship their goods to farmers for the spring harvest season – a story that state media entity TASS was even reporting on. Other civilian passengers have also noted disruptions.

Closely tied to the size factor is the scope of the mobilization. Not only is Russia flowing large numbers of troops and vehicles to the border, but it’s also bringing them from far afield, all across the country. Some enterprising OSINT practitioners on Twitter were able to identify the original locations of some Russian military units by the numbers on their license plates that indicate which military district they are based in – that is, until the Russians seemed to get wise and start covering those numbers up, along with other identifying markings. Before the Russians started practicing better OPSEC, however, it was identified that many forces were coming from the Central Military District, which covers the Ural Mountains and parts of Siberia and doesn’t even border Ukraine. More questions abound.

The nature of the equipment and units being sent towards Ukraine is also notable and worrying. Main battle tanks with fuel tanks for extended range offensives and plows for pushing through minefields. Artillery and heavy mortars designed to try and break through tough defensive lines. Elite airborne units with high levels of readiness that already have a history of involvement in eastern Ukraine. Both short and long-range air defense systems. These are all also worrying signs. They once again, could very well be explained away by large scale offensive wargames, but combined with everything else it raises the blood pressure and anxiety levels of defense analysts such as myself.

Ukraine appears to be reacting to this increasingly tense situation as well. Aside from issuing strong statements and calling for support from the United States, NATO and the West – and receiving at least some military support thus far, it now also appears to be flowing its own reinforcements towards Donbas. It’s well within its right to do so and I can‘t blame it for doing that, but this in itself is a worrying sign that this all could potentially lead to a resumption of fighting not seen since the height of the initial Donbas war – potentially even surpassing it.

Why Is This Happening?

That is the million-dollar question on most Russia and/or military watchers minds right now and everyone on the internet has been offering their two cents as to why Russia is undertaking this buildup. My answer for now is a resounding “we don’t quite know yet.”

Despite the increasing number of concerning factors and unanswered questions raising doubts about the Russian intent behind this buildup, the safe money is still (probably) on this being an attempt at posturing/signaling/intimidation. Russia has many reasons to want to intimidate and posture against Ukraine given their acrimonious relationship since 2014 and far before, but chief among them is discouraging Ukraine from any attempt to retake the rebel-held Donbas or annex Crimea by showing that Russia is willing and able to mobilize its military might to defend their pro-Russian allies. Likewise, it doesn’t hurt to demonstrate to the rest of the world – including other potential adversaries – that you’re able to mobilize and rapidly transport a significant portion of your military across vast distances to meet a perceived threat.

 That being said, while posturing is still the most likely outcome, enough unusual facts and elements have emerged with this build-up to raise questions as to whether its only posturing. This is the opinion of Russia analyst Michael Kofman from the Center for Naval Analyses, who was initially far more certain about this being a posturing exercise by Russia. As of today, while still leaning towards posturing and intimidation as the explanation, says there’s still too much uncertainty and concerning factors to be sure of the motive and that the situation still merits cautious and careful observation and analysis before being too sure about what is going on.

None of this is helped by the fact that Russia is notoriously opaque about its intent when it comes to these things, more so than even the usual song and dance of geopolitics that states and nations engage in. Further alarm bells are raised by the way the Russian propaganda machine appears to have suddenly gone into overdrive, both in terms of spreading disinformation on social media, but also in the sudden bellicose tone taken by state-run media as well. All of this raises deeper questions about Russia’s intent in this situation, with no real satisfactory answers so far.

What Might Happen Next?

That’s the next big question on everyone’s minds, after “why this is all happening.” If this is all just posturing, the most likely outcome is Russia decides it has enough forces in the region for its liking, does a series of drills and exercises along the border to try and intimidate Ukraine and the West, and then wraps everything up and sends all the troops back to barracks without incident. The war in Ukraine resumes its Frozen Conflict status – until the next crisis of course – and everything goes back to “normal”.

But what if it’s not all just for show? Could Russia launch a wholesale invasion of Ukraine? That’s not impossible, but it would be a significant escalation on Russia’s part and is probably the least probable of all the outcomes if you were to ask any Russia watcher. If Russia openly launched a full scale invasion of Ukraine, it could at best further isolate and cement its international status as a pariah among nations. At worst, that could even bring NATO fully into the conflict, escalating what was a regional, internal conflict, into a full-scale European or even world war. Again, none that doesn’t mean such an escalation is impossible (unfortunately), but Russia would be taking an exceptional risk – one that I don’t think it would take on a whim and with the eyes of the world on it unless it suddenly had an excellent excuse fall in its lap or it felt it had no other choice in order to defend some vital interest or its very existence as a state.

What might be more likely – and what Kofman lays out in one of his previously mentioned twitter threads – is that a significant escalation of fighting within the Donbas might be in store. We may see fighting of the same intensity as the early days of the war but limited to skirmishes and clashes in that region and not spreading beyond it. That’s not great, sure. But its not as bad as the war spreading beyond the Donetsk and Luhansk provinces and escalating. He also points out that if any escalation happens, it may not be in our immediate future, but could happen later in April or even in May (guess I better strap myself in for a month of anxiety then).

But, even if Russia’s intent is to simply posture, or only to go on the offensive within Donbas, there’s always the possibility that events on the ground could get out of theirs – and Ukraine’s – grasp and escalate of their own volition. When you pump up the propaganda machine, there’s always the possibility that things can take on a life of their own. Add in the fact that the number of both Russia and Ukrainian forces in the area are increasing, tensions are rising, and additional stress and pressure are being put on everyone involved and you may have problems. Even if neither party wants outright war, its important to remember that states and governments are not single, monolithic, rational actors. They are made up of multiple elements with different – sometimes conflicting – interests and goals. This means that even when its absolutely in a state’s best interest to avoid war and its leaders know that a comedy of errors and missteps can potentially lead them right to that war anyway (Full disclosure: there are some decent arguments against this very idea of “accidental” war but I still think its worth mentioning as an aside).

Isn’t Ukraine Fascist Anyway?

Ok, this one is starkly different in tone, but I want to address this claim in particular because it’s making the rounds by tankies and campists alike to basically justify whatever Russia may or may not end up doing in Ukraine. So, let’s deal with it right now, bluntly.

Does Ukraine have a problem with the far right? Absolutely and undisputedly, it does. Has it done a great job at dealing with that problem? Nope, it has not – as some recent evidence shows. However, it does Ukraine and the regular people living there hoping not to become engulfed in fresh fighting a disservice to simply write the entire country off as a fascist state in its entirety. This thread on Twitter does a far better job than I at addressing some of the tankie talking points being used to try and paint Ukraine as a whole of being in the wrong and worthy of destruction while putting Russia up on a pedestal. To put it simply, while the far-right has been a persistent issue in Ukraine since the 2014 revolution, its power and influence is often overstated for propaganda purposes and the far right is more often than not at odds with the government rather than a full integrated part of it – with many Ukrainians protesting against it as well.

Again, I’m not trying to excuse any behavior here. Ukraine continues to disappoint me in not more effectively dealing with this problem – much as the United States and most of Western Europe does. But this is not a reason to simply abandon the country or actively root for Russia to rip it to shreds. Plus, the same people who are likely to promote these kinds of narratives are also the same ones who are likely to ignore that more than a handful of far-right Russians have found themselves fighting on the opposite side of the conflict. You ever wonder why the infamous Russian mercenary group Wagner got its name? Well that was from its founder, who fought in the early stages of the war in Ukraine and took the nickname “Wagner” because he was fascinated with Nazi Germany – Wagner being one of Hitler’s favorite composers – and would wear a World War II-era German steel helmet into combat. So, take that home with you I guess.

There are plenty of things you can criticize the Ukrainian government about. But I don’t think any of them rise to the level of painting Russia as being the ‘good guy’ in any of this. What Russia has done to Ukraine since 2014 is inexcusable and illegal, whether it be the annexation of Crimea, the invasion of Donbas, and other forms of interference and undermining. I have no problem taking a side when I think someone is in the right or in the wrong, as I did with Armenia and Azerbaijan. Whatever you think about Ukraine, its not in the wrong for defending itself.

Why Should I Care?

I usually end these with a mix of “what happens next” with “why should I care”, but seeing as I already hypothesized a bit on what might happen next, I’ll focus on what this should matter to you (though if you’re reading this I’m going to assume you already care somewhat).

From a national security standpoint, what’s going on in Ukraine is important even if it doesn’t escalate. It shows a continuing pattern of concerning behavior by Russia that, even if it doesn’t culminate in a disaster today, could do so another time. The fact that the media seems to hype up any Russian action as potentially being the harbinger of World War III – especially since the 2016 election interference – may make some people numb to Russia’s activities or even actively push back because of a not-unfounded mistrust of mainstream media narratives. Obviously, we shouldn’t treat every suspicious Russian action like the greatest threat to civilization, but we should be able to view them broadly and recognize a pattern of bad behavior that is becoming increasingly more threatening and could eventually spill over into outright conflict if not responded to properly.

If some kind of war does actually emerge from this crisis, then I feel like I shouldn’t have to explain why you should care. If the conflict spreads out from Donbas and draws in surrounding countries or even NATO, obviously we should care as it may become a threat to us. Even if it remains limited to Donbas in particular or Ukraine in general, we should care because of impact it will have on a people who have already been suffering from the effects of over seven years of on-again, off-again warfare – potentially affecting even more.

This is where the leftist angle comes in, and the spirit of internationalism – and part of why I felt I wanted to write this piece, aside from it being an issue that’s important to me and being current. If leftists are going to take a stand against imperialistic attitudes and actions by the United States towards the rest of the world, or those by any of its allies, then it can’t turn a blind eye to imperialist adventures by other states as well. What’s going in in Ukraine is only the latest event in a long and tortured history between Russia and Ukraine going back to when the Tsars first marched into the region and eventually annexed it into the Russian Empire in the 18th century. Whatever you can criticize Ukraine for, you can still support its people wanting to fight back against an imperial power that simply will not leave it alone. Its one thing to simply not be aware of it, but if you actively reject it, then you’re quite simply just a tankie or a campist and are unknowingly – or knowingly – carrying water for Russia and its own brand of oppression.

To be fair, can we really do anything about this? No, I suppose not. I guess if you really want you could go in fight in Donbas but I wouldn’t recommend that (and probably, legally shouldn’t). I realize it’s a lot to ask people to devote mental and emotional energy to caring about this when A.) we have our own pressing concerns at home; and B.) there is virtually nothing most ordinary people can do to have a direct impact on what’s going on in Ukraine. That being said, a point I often return to is you can’t be a leftist without some empathy, and that includes the plight of people in other countries. Being a good leftist means being a good internationalist and caring about the rest of the world and what happens to it and at least offering some words of support.

Likewise, if we ever hope of actually governing and changing anything some day, these are issues we need to be aware of and have actual policies and plans to address with should we ever (hopefully) get to that point. As much as some people might lead you to believe that if the United States ceased to exist that imperialism and war would suddenly vanish, Russia and its history with its neighbors – the vast majority of which predates the founding of the United States – is a pretty good reason to point out why that’s bullshit.

As I said before, this situation is changing day to day, hour to hour. As of writing this, Russian tanks and vehicles are still heading towards Ukraine and there are (unconfirmed) reports of more skirmishes in Donbas – such as around Donetsk airport, the site of previous battles. For the time being, all we can do is remain aware of what’s going on, not jumping to any conclusions but also preparing ourselves for the unexpected and undesired. Simply put: “watch this space.”

While I’m a student of war and fascinated by it, I certainly don’t hope war happens. That’s not something anyone should wish for. As much as I think war is sometimes unavoidable or even necessary, I don’t think this is one of those cases. I don’t have the magic solution to what’s been going on in Ukraine, but I know an intensified war would only mean more suffering and death for everyone involved. Hopefully, the most likely course of action will play out and this will all amount to nothing. If not, we should hope that any conflict that emerges is short, does not escalate to highly destructive heights, and ends in a way maybe buys some stability. We’ll see.

[walnutmediocre]

What has happened ever since Saturn has entered my 12th House!

Let me give you some context about my chart, first and foremost: I'm a Virgo Sun, Aries Rising, and Pisces moon. My moon is in the 12th house, which opposes my Virgo sun. My Mars is also in Virgo, so that's also being opposed in this Saturn transit. Alright, lets continue..!

Gone To Therapy For The First Time: I hit a very harsh hurdle in my life. A lot of social circle changes were taking place, and things were indefinitely ending. I was extremely fearful of getting into therapy, but something made me bite the bullet. You'll read what exactly has changed for me in this post!

Started My First Ever Job: I was beyond scared to start my first job, since I was often fear mongered about the outside world.

Ended Long-Term Relationships: Specifically, I've ended two. One of them, 5 years, the other.. a year and a half... maybe? It was made clear to me through very uneasy feelings (such as fear and anxiousness), endless conversations with these two, and constant bickering that I should move on, and drop them both.

Created a More Solid Foundation With My Spirituality: I've been functioning with my spirituality out of truth, realism, and skepticism. Not that I haven't before, but its been more implemented in a way. My belief in spirituality, my workings, etc is more solid than ever!

Started Learning How To Drive: ...with no fear attached! I remember when I was 15 yrs old, I'd constantly have anxiety attacks behind the wheel, I wasn't ready in the slightest. Now though? Absolutely no fear. This was such a big milestone for me, along with me getting my first job!

Starting Thinking About Moving Out Seriously: In the past, I was extremely scared of the thought of moving out. Now, I'm suddenly more comfortable with it. I feel fearless to move in with my boyfriend!

Changed My Identity And Mission On The Internet: So, for anyone who doesn't know, I Vtube. I used to say "Im a Vtuber", but recently I've noticed that doesn't resonate with me anymore. I started showing my face a lot more, and let my real name be known. I feel this need to show myself to my full potential, and my full range. Btw, by "mission" I just mean what content I want to create :) This is also something I heavily feared.

Been Separating From My Mother a Lot More: Adulting is hard when you have a helicopter, or codependent, parent. I've been forcibly separating myself from my mom, teaching her that I'll be perfectly fine without her in all of my corners. This is yet ANOTHER thing I was extremely scared to do.

Seriously Thinking About How To Provide Solid Foundations For All Of My Projects: Almost, in a way, thinking about permanence? In terms of my future, specifically career. Thinking about especially the financial plan I have for my future business.

Seriously Thinking About Going To College: I've never been a very college-fond person. I've always despised school, however recently I've been thinking about what degree I want to MAYBE use in order to have a very solid career later in life, no matter if I'm employed under someone or I end up becoming the entrepreneur I dream of.

How Is This Accurate?

Saturn: - Restraint - Maturing - Lessons - Academics - Reality - Wisdom

12th House: - Endlessness - Dreams - Emotions - The Unconscious - The Creative Mind / Left Brain - Spirituality - Permanent Endings - Loss - Fear

The Constant Themes I Experienced So Far: - Breaking of ones fears. - Breaking free from restraint. - Truth seeking / Seeing extremely clearly. - Karma being served. - Maturing / Adulting. - Heightened intuition, more visions. - Clearer retrospect. - More healthy realistic thinking. - Learning how my energy alone can shift my reality. - More fearlessness in general, once I got the ball rolling.

My Conclusion:

When you put both of these together, the energies of the old collide with the concept of mature growth, aka the new. This Saturn in Pisces is extremely beneficial for anybody who is not resisting to Saturn's lessons!! And this is coming from a girlie who was born on their Venus line!! So yeah bitch, accept Saturn's movement!!! I've grown so much. In conclusion, this transit has affected me positively. The opportunities I was given were shown to me through my own efforts. I was shown what I can do, and more. I am STILL being shown what I can make, change, initiate for myself. Thank you, Saturn!!