#maybe its a good thing he doesnt exist!!!!!!!
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realisingi havent talked about it in a while & thats part of why ive been drawing emet the way he appears in game more so hes recognisable... in my beautiful world (canon timeline) (TO MEEEEE) after emet returns through the miracle of love (i wish i was kidding but its the most likely way for it to happen so thats what im going with.) hes obviously not gonna wear the exact face he wore as solus. so away with the garlean eye for one. like he molded solus' body to have his face he ended up molding the clone he now inhabits to look just like. himself. & im taking liberties with his hair because he is finally, yknow, living as himself & not in ancient society which is incredibly uniform so altering his appearance in any ways feels unlikely for him to do... part of healing & separating himself from the world he'd clung onto so long is learning to be content not looking perfectly like he 'normally does' outside of playing a role
#ffposting#emey selchie tag#hildemet#hes also like. well his personality is closer to what it used to be than the way he acted in shb obviously#but at the same time he is old & tired even if he has newfound like. happiness. in existing.#hes not a complete asshole. a bit jaded but he gives everything (within reason) a shot bc hilde wants him to#too tired to argue & also the reasons he wouldve once disagreed to it are like.. for the image he had to uphold#or bc it didnt benefit the star or whatever. those are no longer concerns that HAVE to weigh on his mind so hes more open#lachesis was just always someone who would surprise him & catch him off guard too right... hilde is the same way in that regard#takes him aback so he doesnt even think to be a dick. this is about the cake LMAO#also i mean he knows better than to be an asshole to the person he literally is alive for. not on that kind of thing#maybe a 'i thought you were good at cooking...?' but then he sees hildes fucking miserable face & its like. well. dont even worry about it.#'why did you even bake a cake' 'birthday...' '... it is YOUR birthday that is coming up not mine' ':( i forgor.'#hildes personality is so funny to me he is so many things. the mentally ill 33 y/o
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not me lying wide awake at 5:30am on a sunday on my day off bc after almost a full year I finally FINALLY realized the implication of the end of remember them from the cyclops saga
#that song has one of the most powerful ending crescendo sequences ive heard in maybe all of musical theater#so it. always felt incomplete after ALL that buildup during the I AM THE INFAMOOOUS#only to just drop to SILENCE. no music. no fanfare. just ODYSSEUS!#he doesnt even really sing it he just sort of... shouts it#and then its followed by the faintest sound of ocean waves#its poseidon. listening. THATS why athena said DONT#poseidon heard that declaration and came back to get him later#😬#i just looked up the lyrics for ruthlessness too and poseidon basically spells it out 😂#ive only listened to that song once or twice tho and i guess i wasnt too focused on the words#anyway i relistened to the songs on friday and theyve been rotating in my mind like a 7/11 hotdog#the whole cyclops saga especially is just.... so so good#they truly dont make music about bashing peoples heads in like they used to#the first 3 songs of the saga especially... oof#how they blend one into the other back to back and end up making like a 10 minute narration of events#the whole thing is so bone chilling#it gets my heartrate up lol#PLUS the theme of pain and vengeance bring more pain#EVERY time polyphemus says 'what gives you a right to deal a pain so deep'#and when odysseus says 'what good would killing do when mercy is a skill more of the world could learn to use'#rocking back and forth sobbing crying#remember them the next time that you DARE choose not to spare! remember them... remember us... remember me!#cant wait for everyone to turn their back on this musical in 5 yrs#like they did with hamilto.n#hamilto.n never stopped being good actually#yall are just embarrassed about being weird fanatics over people who rly existed
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baizhu eating chocolate,,, if he can
151: can and should are two different things
#baizhu#genshin impact#baizhu genshin impact#okay i was not paying much attention to the ask box details the past couple of days and this seems....suspiciously targeted 👁🤔#i Suspect i know who sent this based on the timing and the 'if he can'#and i Suspect that this is about my Moste Tragic And Melancholiful Discovereigh.#in which i discovered that chocolate is too caffeinated for me APPARENTLY#maybe pretentious dairy free hot chocolate powder has more caffeine. idk :(#but Fine i can do a projection 😤😤😤#anyway this is all to say chocolate is good and you should eat it as long as like. it doesnt make u all nausea and heart poundy#i know without tag context it could look like something else is being implied but no i am implying that baizhus organs are mean to him#bc mine are mean to me so its like a power fantasy kind of. the power of a doctor saying oh yeah problems arent good#(as opposed to problems dont exist have u considered youre making things up?)
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tbh i might go ahead and put dungeons in as a part of the bellum x linebeck fic's plot since like. 1) struggling to actually figure out a main plot and having dungeons as sort of bit points to hit and be little bits of fitting exploration and bonding and 2) i do kinda want to do dungeons. i like thinking of them and again i do think its fitting.
#bellum x linebeck fic#albw fucks thats where i got the idea. i mean dungeons are a general loz thing but albw is rlly good with a bunch of dungeons#the deal now is like. why are they doing dungeons (beyond. linebeck likes treasure and adventure and bellum likes doing stuff with him)#it doesnt really need to be an endgame thing if that makes sense. a mid to late story plot as smth extra for them to do to interact with#the world and ig the issue is that i cant figure out what they'll get out of these dungeons. considering theyre a bit morally fucked. so#i'll have to think on that. will prolly do only a few bc. yknow. or could do some other kinda of like. major points to hit. but tbh dungeon#do fit in since ppl go exploring a lot and ive been playing with the idea of a fantastical system that like. refills dungeons if theyre#influenced by certain magic or w/e. i like the great sea having a lot of magic kinda just. existing around the world unchecked#it def gives a lot of opportunity for worldbuilding and like. things to do and have exist in the great sea setting. anyways#need smth for bellum and linebeck to do other than play a weird dating sim with each other as their endgame picks#honestly the actual plot side of things is the messiest fucking thing abt this and im trying to keep it from getting out of hand#i have the actual romance set up well enough and i really ought to focus on the romance in chapter planning before trying to#string together a main plot between all of it yknow#salty talks#thinking more on it it might not even need to smth where theyre fully successful bc its like. idk. maybe they just want to do some stuff#cuz there is no world threatening thing (thats bellum's role.) so like no sages or pendants but maybe some fucking mcguffin#part of me thinks. oh. triforce! but thats uh. a lot. i might just leave the dungeon stuff as like. bellum wants him to clear them out as#as like possibly places for bellum to hide out in since he's afraid of being threatened and killed. like hes looking a smth like a base#i like that ig. cuz it could end up with them being like. hey i like being around this person that i think i have feelings for#oh. this might be good to use in development of romance too
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Fucked up how happy I get whenever I make content of Shinjiro Aragaki being actually loved and getting to heal and learning to love the little things in life and getting to express himself. What’s up with that
#persona#shinjiro aragaki#hes the only one i really respect here#its like so annoying though that i even care like whats wrong with me why does this bother me so much#just cuz i see myself in this character and also feel like shit and idk when he doesnt even get to live doesnt get to recover#and this is treated as a good game with a profound theme and this is treated as good writing#its hard not to be hurt when its like. im barely hanging on man#and youre telling me he can be saved by someone noticing him and caring about him and he can get through it and be loved and try to heal#but this is treated as some sorta disservice to the narrative and that you cant have the theme work this way#its like. but this is the only way i can even feel anything about this theme this actually makes me wanna try#seeing the character going through mental issues like mine die just like. it makes things suck idk#and its like why do i even care like this shouldnt matter but idk its like#if he can make it then why cant i#and im just really attached to this and i really really want to make my fic of him exist cuz. nothing is going good for me rn#but if i can make this one thing thats important to me where someone gets to recover then maybe ill feel less helpless#its what im trying to tell myself so i can stop feeling like im. idk cringe or something cuz im emotionally attached to a fictional#character and the wellbeing of this character feels like motivation for me#i just wish i wasnt so damn desperate about it 😩#anyway can someone please slap me with a fish so i can stop being insecure about my writing and just fucking do it
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I ASKED ONE OF MY BABIES TO SEND ME THE SCREEENRECORDING OF THE TIKTOK… AIKU OLIVER I AM SCREAMINGGGSHS WHAT DID I JUST SEEEEE PIBBBYYYY
I WILL FUCK HIM TO GHE ENDS OF THE WORLD WITH THAT ATTITUDE OF HIS 😩😩😩😩😩
PLSSSSS THIS IS SO REALLLLKDSFSKDJNFSDKNFJDKSFN I LITERALLY LOST MY MIND WATHCING IT AND I WAS SENT IT TWICE JSDNFSDLJKNF
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sorry for not posting icons. forgot i existed
#ramble in tags#— radio star#;; sprite#gamz decided to try this like#meditating thing#where he makes himself this imaginary world#and its like dude we're already trapped in an imaginary world#whyd you do this#i dont know why he thought it was a good idea because like#we have a huge problem with forgetting we exist#slash srs#like we legit just#suddenly remember we exist. and we're like#shit#this is the REAL WORLD#this is NOT a video game or a story#this is MY LIFE#fucks us up#maybe its like a coping thing#he doesnt like the real world so he decides to make a fake one#to retreat to#i dont know#anyways#unreality tw#i think#ask to tag
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Vibrates. Normal. I'm normal. I'm so normal.
#rat rambles#oni posting#oh god oh fuck I just opened the steam page to wishlist it and guys guys guys there may or may not be a new dupe#either that or its just hinting at future customization options that include hair but idk#I have thoughts and ideas that are vague and based on very little but I am fucking loosing it yall#also the planet being another cold one is just the icing on the cake for me as the number one rime enjoyer#and new temperature mechanics sound fun and Im rly hoping that with the dlc cold will actually matter more#because from my time playing it being too cold basically only matters for food and water and is otherwise mostly a good thing#yeah your dupes will cry abt it but as far as I know it kind of cant kill them#so while part of why I like rime is that I find the cold to be a boon more than anything I hope ut becomes more of a legit problem here#anyways this is all to distract myself from the real thing thats making me tremble with both excitement and fear and thats lore#they have to add new lore and theyre going to and Im scared guys its happening#ok ok to keep distracting myself from that I love how everyone is characterized in the new short its delightful#again I absolutely adore jean being a grumpy old fart its my favorite thing#I also love liam being all like oh grandpa lets get you to bed aby jorge dgskhsjd#also was jorge breaking in with the story trait stuff or trying to shove it in a closet or smth? idk#anyways I think the idea of the dupes treating jorge like the colony grandpa is very funny old man dupe alert hes older than 2 weeks#honestly the combination of jorge and this potential new dupe has me thinking abt some stuff#cause like it is a bit odd how in game jorge is completely unique and the pod doesnt have the data for his blueprint#now its possible that some data was lost or smth but Im leaning towards there's other dupes who have blueprints and stuff but they were#removed from later pods to save space for more important data#or maybe there was some reason why certain dupes had to be discontinued because of the dupes themselves#I think itd make a lot of sense for there to be other dupe blueprints floating around too since presumably gravitas had access to the dna#of all of their employees and evidently even some non employees considering dupe quinn exists#so itd make some sense for there to be dupe blueprints for even more scientists that worked at gravitas#this also gives room for them to make dupes for any potential randos that currently exist in the oni logs like dr.holland#(dr.holland may be a dupe we already know but yknow he could also be made into a completely new guy if they so desired)#oh oh wait new critters and plants means that our plant and animal guys get to talk more yippee 🎉#oh maybe we'll even have confirmation of who they are through this#probably not but I can dream
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how to realize i've had enough academically speaking today: i started to think about rafael and luca's domestic life, in case they somehow meet and get together after rafael's divorce.
#oc talk#i imagine he would be heartbroken but luca would be able to lift his spirits just by existing. luca would come home#after doing grocery shopping and he would be like 'ah!! i forgot salt and cheese!' while rafael's all 'its ok<3 i'll buy it get comfy'#he would be. really protective; the type to kill the bug except luca would feel bad so he asks him to put it outside instead.#these little kind gestures he shows through the day would enamour him more tbh. i dont think they would fight that much#because luca is just too soft to get angry; and he would be way too soft towards him to get angry at anything he does.#ok maybe he would get a bit angry on the whole 'not doing anything else besides blocking to the person who sends me death threats'#but its not directed at him its more the frustration over the fact he seems to be too kind and non confrontational for his own good.#a family can be a femboy who lives off streaming on twitch; a divorced soldier#and the guy who seems part of their lives because he loves to send said femboy horrific and medically accurate death threats.#also finally luca can live off something that isnt delivery or instant noodles because rafael will cook sometimes for the both of them#although he also doesnt know to cook. a lot of things bc charlotte used to be in charge of that (like the fucking patriarchy /j /s)#but hey at least they can eat homemade soup. or chicken wings. its better than nothing.#another thing is that he would feel suspicious of anything luca's fans send him and inspect the package just to see it doesnt contains.#an explosive or something KJDNKJDSNFJNJ the package needs to surpass his vibe check /j#oh and he would feel extremely awkward appearing on stream even if accidentally so whenever luca is Working™#he secludes himself on the living room and talks to mary or smth. luca on the other hand would probably talk about him on stream#whenever he knows he will be busy and not come home for a few days or more. he would miss him a lot:c#another thing before going to sleep and because i needed to say it: rafael's sex life would suffer a significant downgrade. and i dont mean#that sex became bad; moreso he doesnt have sex like. ever. his meat stick has no use now besides peeing#maybe now that hes dating someone though luca may be open to have sex SOMETIMES; but for him sometimes is like. 1 time every 2 months#and rafael's used to be way more sexually active (plus the few times would need to be way softer compared to how he was used with charlotte#i imagine that can be a bit frustrating tbh and as any guy traumatized by being cheated on (even more on his case) he would be#somewhat scared that luca doesnt likes him actually and that hes already looking for someone else/has someone else 'satisfying' him already#he realizes it doesnt makes sense at all because hes not that type of person; or so it seems. he was already tricked once for years.#but its ok they will find a solution because theyre 💖💘💖IN LOVE💖💘💖 the lingerie luca had for onlyfans could be useful for something#probably
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uuuhhhhh wrote a segment of the ganonbeck thing on my phone (this whole thing isnt written on my phone i just have future scenes hashed out on phone) so i figured id share it for: giving a snippet of it bc why not, and to maybe get some feedback on writing ganondorf and the specific concept he talks about?
(this isnt indicatives of the whole fic just a scene delving into ganondorf’s personal conflicts and a little bit of worldbuilding or something. would appreciate some feedback or tips or whatever on this since im not sure if. i wrote this idea well. also hope its generally interesting/fun to read)
#salty talks#tbh tho i think this does kinda set up the dynamic between them and why ganondorf is drawn to linebeck maybe#linebeck is. hes funny in a good mood. he helps lighten ganondorfs mood and helps him disengage from serious stuff#he is also supportive of him fucking killing the king of hyrule. but hes mostly someone that helps ganondorf loosen up#ganondorf is this cunning wise man who holds lofty ambitions and is influenced by the history of his people and lets it motivate him#and linebeck is the image of the cat with the label ‘father i crave violence’ hes a lil ooc and chaotic but he thinks the hylian king sucks#this fic is mostly a lighthearted gay little thing where theyre both in lighter moods exploring the desert#but does have snippets like this about ganondorfs discontent with the hylian kingdom and linebeck struggling with his mental health#making it so it doesnt really exist in a vacuum and can feed into a possible future longer au fic idea#tbh been leaning into linebeck having a similar distaste for the hylian monarchy to ganondorf and carrying it into post ph#which fits in neatly with the headcanon that he is half gerudo so. pieces fitting together#this is mostly unedited btw so if it comes off as rough then yeah. its a first draft#topical with people talking more about the uncomfy way the zelda games approach imperialism n stuff#so i mostly worry about how i write about it here cuz its a concept im still new to and not sure how to really approach#if you saw the version with the images in the wrong order no you didnt#but seriously please let me know how i did writing what ganondorf talks about handling him is scary to me and i want to do good#ganonbeck#linebeck#ganondorf#they are tagged now rejoice
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Rebecca gales has bpd she told me herself
#rebecca gales#the letter#the letter visual novel#listen im new here im not exactly a knowledgeable cookie here about bpd but the more i learn the more im like. inch resting#cuz for starters its like idk if it all applies to me but i find a lot of it very relatable#but when i think about rebecca i think it definitely applies and makes a lot of sense just like the way she feels emotions#shes got so much complex feelings about the people she loves shes very caring and loving#to the point where they feel its too much to handle alsjks like i love how cute she is with isabella when shes worried#she squishes belles face to check for injuries and she pulls isabella into her lap and pets her hair and sings for her#and always gets her food and worries herself into the ground to make sure isabella takes care of herself#and then with ashton hes definitely her favorite person she sees him like a prince charming and remembers everything about their#relationship like her way of showing love is definitely by remembering things and paying attention to how people feel and what they want#and then zach even though they arent as close she still helped him with his movie and she defends him when his movie gets hate#like in such an angry way he tries to brush it off but shes like NO NOBODY GETS TO TALK TO YOU LIKE THAT#and same when luke is shitty to him and tries to steal his camera rebecca lets that guy have it#and with luke even though she does hate him shes the only character who makes him see the good in himself#and she lets him know that hes fully capable of changing and being a good father and person#shes just so loving but at the same time so easily has a split where she cant stand anyone either#she thinks isabella is obnoxiously immature and is jealous as fuck of her and she is very quick to fight with ash#because he just doesnt show his love for her like she does for him and thats just such a problem like#that feeling that youll always love someone way more than anyone will ever love you and it makes her really upset#and like sometimes her feelings just get bitter so quick and at inappropriate times like when shes mad at isabella while shes fucking#in a literal coma because ashton is in love with her and not rebecca and shes just so like wrapped up in her own feelings there that she#completely disregards the entire situation and ashtons grief because she cant think about anything else she just cant help it#so yeah i think its just the way she feels emotions very strongly and switches between them very quickly that makes me think hm maybe#something is going on here 🤨 and i just love it i love her i love how shes just a character whos just like#got all these complicated feelings but shes still loved and gets to slay penis and simply exist as a complex person
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hcs on how I think mha characters sleep
contains: pure silly stupidness
characters: tomura shigaraki, touya todoroki, keigo takami, izuku midoriya, toga himiko, plus one katsuki hc😭
note: LISTEN GANG I WAS SLEEPY BUT I COULDNT SKEEP SO I WAS LIKE OH EM GEE!!! keigo's went out of hand 😔😔😔
tomura shigaraki
- he usually sleeps in his normal attire, he has no energy to get up and change
- sleeps 4 hrs MAX
- his thumbs are always I mean always are covered by the rest of his fingers tightly, he probably decays mattresses every couple of months by accident
- either super light sleeper or super heavy no in-between, probably doesn't even sleep most of the time
- there's no pre-sleep routine. mf just plops down into the bed and blacks out OR he sleeps in his gaming chair😭
- if you're sleeping next to him, he would make sure he's facing the opposite side with his hands dangling at the edge of the bed just to make sure nothing happens to you.
- one thing that makes him black out is playing with his hair, like blackout like snore mimimimi type shit
- he's so still in his sleep, barely moves to the point you might think he's dead if he wasn't breathing‼️
- Overall he'd be a pretty good person to sleep next to (if he even sleeps) just make sure he doesn't have nightmares or everything is done and dusted (literally)
touya todoroki
- he either sleeps naked or something that can't snag on the staples/ irritate his scars (probably naked bcs have you seen his room?? ITS EMPTY EMPTY THERES NOTHING BESIDES HIS USUAL CLOTHES)
- I give him 5-6 hrs maybe then he wakes up but on nights where he's in too much pain, he takes a shit ton of painkillers and tries to sleep just to wake up 2 hrs later
-biggest snorer out there, complete opposite of tomura. esp w those lungs of his omg.
- you could be sleeping and BOOM 🚉 SNOREEEEEE HONKKKK you need earplugs with him, then he wakes up and goes "I don't snore, fuck you mean??"
- he tosses and turns 24/7 also he will 100% steal the blanket and kick you off, at this point it'd be more comfortable to sleep on the ground than to sleep next to him
- yk those videos where it's like someone tweaking while sleeping, like they roll around steal blankets and kick and stuff and do the craziest shit, yeah that's touya
- idk if he has a pre sleep routine I'm leaning towards it depends? he usually just makes sure his scars are clean so he doesn't get an infection and yk die!
- I conclude, a horrible person to sleep next to. Would much rather kms than tolerate a night of his torture!
keigo takami
- this bitch has 2 options, blackout the second he gets home in his hero attire, or if it's a day where he has to recover from an injury or something, these specific navy blue sweatpants and a black t-shirt
- depends on the day he's sleeping either 3 hrs or 9 hrs
- he doesn't snore but he talks in his sleep about the weirdest shit ever "noooo pls don't put me in the airfryer" he 100% has the weirdest fucking dreams to ever exist
- he never sleeps on his back, literally always on his stomach so his wings don't get in the way
- also on the topic of his wings, during said weird dreams if he's running away or something they start flapping and shit😭 it'd be so annoying to sleep next to him
- he sleepwalks 100% you look at that face and tell me he DOESNT?? he's a really light sleeper as well esp for nights where he might be called in
- definitely has a pre sleep routine (if he doesn't immediately blackout) ESP if you're living tg oh em gee, he'd have a longer skincare routine than you (tbf the skincare routine is kind of obligation from him to appeal to the civilians nd shit)
- he'd have a headband on his head pushing his hair back, washing his face, using a toner etcetera, and then going "baaaaaabeeee where'd you put my cosrx snail mucin, I know you used it" and he'd be all sassy and shit (twink cough cough sorry)
- if he's having a calm day, he's being the clingiest cutest little shit, you wanna go to eat? "nooo 5 minutes" . You wanna go to the bathroom? "Ugh be quick" while he's guarding the door waiting to tackle you and drag you back to bed. He's such a little (loving) shit
- he just lays there on top of you not willing to let go with a serene expression on his face, those days are rare though (fuck the commission 😠)
- random but he has some of the worst bed head you could ever see
- overall, kind of annoying to sleep next to (funny as well) but for him, who wouldn't tolerate it 🙏🏼
izuku midoriya
- before OFA bro used to get no sleep he'd have the most fucked up sleep schedule to ever exist ‼️‼️ like during weekends no sleep at all just staying up analyzing new heroes
- w OFA he's sleeping healthily or too much with the amount of energy he uses ESP in the first seasons when he breaks his bones a shit ton
- HIS SLEEP WEAR LMAOAOA funniest thing I've seen i don't have to say anything abt it 😭 a fucking shirt w " t-shirt" on it or sumn
- doesn't snore but moves a lot, and not even kicking?? just flipping side to side or clutching the blanket like he's a woman clutching her purse in the 1800s (no one's taking it from you calm down lil bro)
- occasionally he might talk but it's like 2 words then he flips to the other side
- no pre-sleep routine but that's bc he doesn't need one, his pre-sleep routine is studying or training, BUT bro has to be like wrapping his arms and hands at night or something bcs he's in pain (his arms are fucked up there's no way he doesn't have chronic pain)
- if you're forced to sleep next to each other (insert ur own fanfic idea of why) he would be so tense he'd have his hands by his side tryna not sleep so he doesn't annoy you, at this point, you'd be annoyed by how tense he is
- he's not a bad person to sleep next to tbf, just like he might be kinda annoying that's it
Toga Himiko
- she has pink pj's and everything she's such a cutie (some have blood on them but whoops accident!)
- she sleeps with plushies (her room is adorable. search it up pleek‼️), changes the plushie every night so "every single one of them feels loved"
- she sleeps pretty healthily although on the low side 6-7 hrs prolly, she's told by compress "You're a growing girl, you need your sleep" or something similar when she wakes up too early
- she's more giggles in her sleep rather than anything, maybe whispers a name then goes teehehehe, she's pretty calm in her sleep honestly
- she has a pre-sleep routine and it's adorable, if it's in the broke era she steals face masks (specifically hello kitty ones), moisturizers, toners, face washes and skips back to the base with a smile on her face
- has 100% forced a couple of the league members to use the face masks
- has music blasting (for some reason I see her playing like a g6 and bopping her head while putting stuff on) at 10 pm, she 100% has been forced to turn it off bcs it woke everyone up
- she's such a cuddly person as well but in the best way possible, before sleeping though 100% there's gonna be gossiping or just yapping tg
overall my favorite !! silliest girl to ever exist I luv her
bonus katsuki
- bro sleeps like a Victorian child dying from the plague, waiting for a true loves kiss type shit you'd see him and go "wtf okay disney princess😟"
#bnha#bnha x reader#mha#bnha x you#mha x reader#mha x you#touya todoroki x reader#dabi x reader#tomura shigaraki x reader#tomura shigaraki#tenko shimura#tenko shimura x reader#mha keigo takami#keigo takami x reader#keigo takami#bnha hawks#mha hawks#hawks x you#hawks x reader#toga himiko x reader#himiko toga x reader#toga x reader#himiko toga#touya todoroki#izuku midoriya#izuku midoriya x reader#deku#deku x reader#katsuki bakugou#katsuki bakugo x reader
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(Reblog 1/2 this is the first time I've reached 30 tags PFFH)
Something I noticed is a lot of people who hated BATIM love BATDR and a lot of people fond of BATIM dislike BATDR. To me, this seems like a mechanics vs story issue. The actual game mechanics and aesthetic of BATDR disguise the lackluster characters and plot holes. However, BATIM still suffers those same issues.
This is a vague question, but what are your thoughts on BATIM vs BATDR story wise? Is either of them truly better? Or are they just flawed in different ways?
Sorry, this is long, but so are BATIM and BATDR :')
I think you hit the nail on the head in the sense that yes- BATDR has better gameplay and mechanics than BATIM, but BATIM by far has a much more compelling story that was able to capture and keep attention over the course of five chapter releases. And yes, BATIM is not without its flaws, for example it's mainly a walking simulator in terms of actual gameplay- the only thing saving it being the unique ability to suck the player in through the rich, stylistic environments.
In terms of story, here's my take for both of them-
BATIM is more solid overall, there are more connected plot points and there's a thread there to be followed from start to finish. It does suffer from some WTF plothole moments, the biggest one being Alice's 180 degree turn with suddenly using Boris as a killing machine rather than...what I can only assume was a plan to use his ink/body as some kind of reparative agent for the hole in her face (like thicc ink premium idk), or...some kind of spell...? It's honestly not very clear HOW she was going to use him, but bottom line she decided to entirely change her plan off-screen, which could have been remedied with something like a cutscene's worth of explanation, and more of a buildup to Brute Boris. The "reveal" in the haunted house didn't hold that much weight (at least to me,) just because we didn't even get a cookie crumb of a hint that Alice was going to mutilate him and use him as a drone instead of just axe him.
There are other nonsense details like Allison's ominous "I'm no Angel" line, which didn't make sense when Tom was the one to want to leave Henry. It was never explained WHY the Ink Demon walks around with a limp when he can shapeshift into a bigger and faster Beast version of himself (and apparently he was ALSO the hand in the ink river??? I guess???) And can we talk about how the cult Joey started was just never brought up again? Wally talks about how workers were encouraged (or mandated, idk) to put offerings in the break room to "appease the gods." What gods? Was Joey worshiping Bendy like a god? NONE OF THIS IS EXPLAINED EVER and honestly I think Micheal D. and Meatstick just Forgot that Joey was a cult leader in favor of Sammy's cult storyline.
But despite all of the plot holes, we still get a tale of a deteriorating studio, humans being used as literal skeletons for lifelike versions of cartoon characters, themes of life, death, cults, art, and more. Honestly, going deep into the plot of Bendy would take its own post to really do it justice.
I guess the main plot is this: Ex-co-founder of Joey Drew Studios, Henry, is trying to get the fuck home to his wife, learning along the way that through the power of a mysterious ink machine, his ex-business partner decided to coerce and persuade people to Literally Die so he could have the necessary materials to create living versions of his cartoons, thus making "his" characters (and more importantly, Bendy,) a reality. Once Henry does escape, he learns that Joey has sent him through this same hell before, still filled with hatred and spite, just in time for Joey to assumedly "reset" him and send him on a different version of the same journey, as we can guess from the storyboards on display in Joey's apartment. THAT on its own is an intriguing and layered tale, and that's not even including the other details, voices, and faces we run into in BATIM, AND the new info we learn in BATDR.
Now, BATDR...is something I've come to view as a mixed bag.
Story-wise, it weirdly wants to have its cake and eat it to. Henry's story is elaborated on, and part of Audrey's origins are also brought to light. This is helpful information concerning the plot of BATIM...but then we get assblasted with a ton of new characters and lore for a completely new Cycle under the reign of a completely new Random Old Man. I know he's Nathan's son, and he was mentioned in both Illusion and Fade to Black...but those were de-canonized, so it almost doesn't help context-wise...???? So...????
In a lot of ways, BATDR almost acts like it wants to be an AU branching from BATIM rather than a direct sequel, which it was marketed/confirmed as.
I think my biggest problem with BATDR is that some of the main characters are bafflingly like. Mishandled.
I'm gonna have the mildest take on earth and say I didn't like the new Ink Demon. Old design was better and more uncanny by far, the new design looks like Generic Satan or something straight out of Baldur's Gate. He was given a deep, guttural growling voice because....tumblr sexyman I guess. Even if they needed him to talk, it could've been something more breathy and raspy, true to the heavy breathing of the original Ink Demon. Also, his alternate form was made very childlike, and I'm just weirded out by the fact that you have this oddly "sexified" version of the Ink Demon on the flipside of Bendy the Child. I don't think any ill intent was meant by this, but it's more confusing than anything thematically. I'm also not sure why Bendy's abuse was brought up and then never touched on....? Like wasn't this guy locked up and called a monster his whole life? Are we going to...say something especially considering the moral of this story......?
Memory Joey is completely fine, but I just can't shake the feeling that the narrative is trying to paint IRL Joey as "UWU fixed now" when that's not the case. The most sympathy I can extend to IRL Joey is that he was a gay man who desired to have a family at a time when that was not only frowned upon but dangerous, not just socially speaking but in terms of his physical safety. But beyond that, this was a dude who locked people in a building to keep them working, coerced and possibly forced the deaths of many people to get what he wanted (the ink machine was a scientific advancement that could've had AMAZING implications for society but he Did Not Give a Shit about that), and was abusive towards Henry. If we trust the Bendy books, he also gaslit and killed his teenage staff. This motherfucker isn't a patron saint of anything, and even if Memory Joey can learn from IRL Joey's mistakes, IRL Joey was still a shitbag who just happened to raise a daughter.
Which leads me to Audrey. Some of Audrey's tale is explained- she was raised by Joey, forgot Joey was her father, and came to work at Archgate as an animator. Got to know Wilson, who works as a janitor at Archgate, and then he drags her into ink hell because....idk, she's his version of "A Perfect Boris" I guess. Fair enough. However, it's NEVER EXPLAINED how Audrey doesn't remember her father, or WHERE she went to live after his passing, or WHO she lived with. Remember, Joey was as old as a cave painting, so he clearly passed when she was very young. While you could argue she doesn't remember his name because she was little, SURELY she remembers his face or voice, or the fact that she HAD A FATHER??? Like, was there some huge trauma there? (Other than the fact that Joey was her dad?) It makes little sense to me that she would forget so easily. If I had to make a guess (and granted I'm no Mark Twain), I'd wager that Allison probably found Joey dead. Remember that Nathan hadn't talked to Joey in years, and Allison was the one who went out of her way in the first place to visit. At this point, Allison's gonna find a little girl running around by herself, and assumedly her and Thomas would've taken her in. If that's not the case, someone else found Joey dead, at which point Audrey would've possibly lived with Nathan and Tessa, considering how much Nathan cared about Joey. Either party has ties to Archgate. But all of that is just speculation, not confirmed, and even if any of that were true, Audrey makes no mention of it. And I'm sorry, Audrey's backstory makes me want to cry, because it's just NOT THERE and she has the personality of a depressed bucket.
Alice was alright...but she was kind of stupid? Which is like....the antithesis of everything cool about her? Instead of using traps and luring the main character from a distance, she knocks out Audrey (via unspecified drink), plays Diet Jigsaw with Audrey, and then gets pushed off a balcony. She was also a lot more...idk, suave and sultry in speech mannerisms in BATDR, which isn't bad, but her unhinged and clever nature seemed a bit watered down.
I don't really have notes on the rest of the main cast. Sammy was brought back to die immediately, which honestly was fine considering his death track record. We get some mentions of BATIM characters. Wilson and Betty were fine, and even some of the lore explaining how the timelines work made sense.
HOWEVER,
I've already said it a hundred times, but the old cast was shoved to the side for a bunch of new characters we had no time to connect with. A new butcher gang member was added when we still have Miss Twisted as a potential female-role filler (keep in mind the Projectionist is based on Camera Man and Brute Boris was based on The Brute.) The whole "Amok" thing was a REALLY roundabout way to get the Lost Ones to stop attacking Audrey.
Wilson's motivations are mostly consistent and I'd argue somewhat compelling, but I don't understand why he didn't do more to protect Audrey if he was going to need her for the endgame for Shipahoy Dudley? Like what's all this about letting her run around and get killed? Was he just aware that she'd revive?
The main message of BATDR was fine, but it didn't work super well for Audrey's character. She'd already forgotten Joey was her father, and was living in blissful ignorance of that fact until Memory Joey decided to infodump on her right away. Sure, the "just because you were born of darkness doesn't mean you have to be darkness" thing applies to her AFTER she learns Joey was her father, but...Audrey was never threatening to Become Evil, so it almost didn't need to be said and was kind of a flat message...? I would argue Memory Joey would benefit more from that message- as he's a literal copy of a Very Bad Dude. My guy was projecting this whole time.
I do think BATDR was worse story-wise, but I'm not going to sit here and pretend it didn't have certain disadvantages from the start. The Kindlybeast debacle happened, BADTR was trying to continue a story from an existing property, and there was a severe lack of Adrienne Kress. Okay, maybe the last one was a bit much, but still. That doesn't mean I hate BATDR overall, I can appreciate a lot of things about it, but strictly in the story department, it needs soooooo much work and makes me want to jump off a Minecraft cliff.
#ohhh this post is GOOD#the asker is absolutely right also I noticed this too but didnt clock it really#anywho. i wanna ramble at your ramble#i myself knew a lot of the issues with batim already but. i never actually noticed that Alice changed plans !!#its absolutely right though. i guess it's likely she scooped boris out like the other corpses. put that ink to the side. then frankensteined#boris into a brute#and for beast ? i always hated the addition of beast bendy. i genuinely see no purpose in that form existing#he just felt so generic. kinda like how you described batdr's design as being a basic oohh scary satan design#could you imagine what a boss battle with henry and the batim ink demon by himself wouldve looked like ?#so much missed potential. he couldve been a looming threat that hunted you down or always on your tail#he couldve been hiding in the shadows and pounce at any chance he got. yknow ?#also yeah yeah books decanonised but i absolutely loved that adrienne made the ink demon animalistic#that couldve been amazing in the games. imagine the ink demon being human enough to be sympathetic but animal enough to be a threat !!#he shouldve been allowed to be on all fours at least once. maybe climb a wall or two#and for joey's cult mentality. i really do hope they explore that in b3ndy because its been Absolutely neglected by even the books#also another little thing. joey seeing bendy like a son would've made his motives for bendy becoming real SO much stronger storywise in game#anyways onto batdr#ohhh if only nathan was EVER hinted at in game. like even in batds it wouldve worked#i didnt have the books yet when i first played batdr and it was BAFFLING to see this random ass guy like who are you#whered you come from !!#and for wilson too#i think wilson is good as like. a comparison to audrey ?#a bad person who came from a good father (wilson and nathan) and a good person who came from a bad father (audrey and joey)#but. but EVEN THEN IT DOESNT MAKE TOO MUCH SENSE#what does it add !!! wilson only really is there to be mr dictator#anyways GOD. BATIM INK DEMON WAS PERFECTLY UNCANNY#actually looked like a failed attempt !!! actually looked like bendy.#“he wasnt scary enough” my ASS YOU COULDVE MADE HIM SCARIER#Make him go on all fours sometimes while keeping his humanoid form !!! make him not speak and Show his feelings and story !!!!#make him kill in so many interesting ways as his body prevents biting (never opens mouth in canon) and he doesnt have many sharp edges !!
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okay. lets bite the bullet and talk about 2012. lets talk about child abuse, familial abuse, generational abuse, toxic family units, whatever you wanna call it. lets talk about it and whether it exists in this show. i actually encourage you to read this no matter what your take is, just to hear it out. let me be FUCKING clear: i love this show, but i get scared to talk about it seriously. everyone on every side is defensive all the time but i love every turtles show to no end.
this post is going to go over so well and not controversially at all.
precursor: every splinter is some level of shitty dad. he always has been. the fucking bare bones of the character is that he raised his children to kill the man who killed his own father. thats inherently fucked up. every splinter has some level of fucked up about him. maybe hes inattentive, or neglectful, or strict, or secretive, maybe hes just not very good at dealing with his kids. splinter is supposed to be far from perfect. thats what makes him splinter. maybe he grows over the course of a series, maybe he doesnt. maybe hes supposed to be shitty his whole life, maybe hes not. thats just splinter. each is adapted differently depending on the story being told.
and 2012 has a very interesting tone to its story.
lets start at the beginning, back in japan. this is season 3, was this story what they intended when they started writing the show back in season 1? probably not, theres probably things they would have written differently had they known this was where splinter's story started. thats kind of the way tv works, you add the details later. but for our sake of analyzing the character of splinter as a whole, it seems best to start here as if its all intentional.
hamato yoshi is a member of the hamato clan. theyre a very traditional old ninja clan in the modern world, they have old feuds and theyre trying to keep their culture alive. they're literally the last of a clan of ninjas like this, having (supposedly) defeated the foot clan (their generational enemies) back when yoshi was a baby. hes set out to lead next, and its very important to him. and yet hes married to a woman who works in the city, a modern woman who doesnt live the life he does. she even moved to be with him. i feel the need to compare this to how men in the real world who want traditional wives never go for women who are willing to be their housewives, always try to break down the independent ones. splinter seems unconcerned with how his wife wants to live. with how she wants their daughter to be raised.
im not necessarily saying this is how this comes off in the show, but i find it interesting to think about. this is absolutely the most rounded version of tang shen as a character (thus far) it stops her being just a name on a page "hamato yoshi's love and the object of his enemies affections who died" and turns her into a woman who has a stake in the story. gives her more agency.
its very interesting that this show implies an actual relationship between tang shen and oroku saki, albeit a one-sided one that didnt work out, but they do seem to have parted on equal ground. the pair of them discuss yoshi's inattentive duties as a husband and father, that he's too obsessed with the tradition and lineage of his clan. honestly, if this woman just took her baby and left no one would blame her! he has his priorities set, and it leaves no room for her and their newborn baby. if she ran away with saki at this point, the story would make just as much sense.
but then disaster strikes, saki learns the truth about his family, that he was actually a child of the foot clan (honestly i wish we saw this play out instead of jumping ahead in the story but thats not what this post is about) and he kills he and yoshi's father. revenge for him having killed his. cycles of abuse and revenge that never end. the pair of them were raised in this society that values lineage like this, that would kill for it. its no wonder they both grew up this way.
anyway, tang shen is killed by a blow meant for yoshi, and saki takes their child and raises her. based on splinter's lack of desire to be a father so far in the story, its honestly not one you can blame him for. its fucked up, but it makes sense. saki does to miwa exactly what his father did to him. cycles of abuse and revenge.
yoshi loses everything, and moves to america. he's turned into splinter the mutant rat, and gains four turtle sons.
so as established, he's not exactly grown up with a stable family life. he obviously, while human, wasnt acting as a stable father for the child he intended to have. so how good is he at this?
ive talked before about how the 2003 show treats the turtles as kind of one whole unit. they don't have individual relationship arcs, they dont have overarching storylines where they grow apart or closer, they're always in each other's corner.
2012 makes this more dynamic. here we see that 15 years seeing no one but each other, growing under this splinter has come with its own quirks. these brothers dont understand each other that well. they get jealous of each others treatment, some are left out, some are misunderstood. raph resents leo, none of them appreciate what donnie does, mikey bothers everyone else for attention, etc. it creates a really good starting place for this show.
(the issue i have with this show is more that they never really open or close any of these beats, at least not in ways that last. but boy does it make for some good dramatic scenes)
we see over the course of this first season that splinter treats his children just as he was, as little ninjas more so than sons. he raises them to follow his traditions, the ones tang shen never cared for. but this is all he knows how to be! you cant really blame him.
most people bring up mikey as the quintessential example when they talk about this, i dont want to do that cuz i know you've all heard it. while i think his father does disrespect him and i think it is paid forward and his brothers do too, i'd rather talk about raph for a change.
in one episode, raph loses his temper. to teach him a lesson, splinter makes his brothers pelt him in training while insulting him any way they can, and tells him to just... not lose his temper. this is a terrible lesson in general. instead of trying to coax out why he might be angry, it just plays up that if he loses his temper bad things happen.
splinter in this episode basically encourages bullying. this comes up a lot when it comes to raph. to compare, in 2003 when raph loses his temper, hes told to blow off steam which he does. his brothers don't blame him for having emotional outbursts, they know thats just how he is so they know how he needs to cope with it. he's given the physical space to let it out.
im not saying this show needs to be like that show, im just saying thats a version of this story where the outcome is better for raph as a whole. since this outcome is not as good for him emotionally, you can tell why he's still got these emotional issues. splinter never helps him more than that. thats more why this raph differs from that one, if that makes sense. one has his family in his corner more than the other.
speaking of. raph has a pet turtle. this turtle is the only one he can talk to about how he feels. why might that be? it's the only thing hes kind and gentle to, and he refuses to let his brothers make him feel weak for being kind to it. where did he learn to be ashamed of being kind and gentle? thats a learned behaviour. in a house full of other men... yeah, that would happen. but whos values start that?
when this turtle gets some mutagen spilled on it, it tries to get revenge on his family. there is such a resentment going on here, its extremely juicy. the show chalks this up to "post mutation insanity", but its just as easy to think that everything raph has experienced has made him seem angry and resentful and perhaps scared to his pet, and that former pet wants raph to himself so they can be free. the frustrated venting of a child complaining about how no one understands him in such a big way turns slash into a vengeful monster, cuz thats all he's ever heard. it makes sense, he went from a little turtle to a fully cognizant adult aged being in an instant. emotionally no one would handle that well, and definitely not someone whos only ever heard the worst about people.
he comes around later. notably by being on his own, away from the hamatos.
again, im not saying the show is writing this intentionally, but i think tonally its in the zone where you could see this analysis as being canon. that these little pieces of narrative fit the worldview of a toxic family unit that isnt dealing with its problems in a healthy way.
there's other small aspects. leo slaps mikey early on, having seen it on his favourite show be used as a way of getting someone to calm down. mikey questions this behaviour, leo seems to feel bad about it when questioned. if we know that that behaviour was bad, what other things might he emulate in a similar way?
there's things like donnie's predatory behaviour towards april. in a world where all they ever knew was splinter's stories of the outside world (and perhaps television from decades earlier), hearing splinter's story of his love for tang shen, his rivalry with his own brother over her, you could actually see why he would behave the way he does, why he claims her the way he does. not as an excuse, but as a reason he learned the behaviour. and there's multiple opportunities for his father to tell him off. he never does. why would he? he knows no better.
this splinter, unlike every other, is not old or disabled. he doesnt require a cane (at the start, but also was never a good cane) and its interesting that despite being like... a 40 year old man in the peak of his life he does not accompany his sons on missions. he sits around doing nothing and disproves of his sons heroic actions. april literally calls him out for this at one point. the show is actually telling us some of this man's behaviour is wrong.
one of the more upsetting things that happens in this household is a lot of physical hitting. "theyre training" you might say. understandable. but when you see a lot of hitting come from the father in this show, played for a laugh, when you see splinter play the "drunk master" bit it makes you think. is that okay? isnt that a bit much?
the end of the muckman episode is a freeze frame of splinter (after having knocked out all of his sons to punish them for leaving while grounded) turning his anger on april and her running away. idk thats just not funny to me. this is a bit of the dating of the show, 2012 was a time where character's in shows were meaner, less affectionate, more bullying in nature. that was the sense of humour at the time. that isnt me making a judgment, it's just kind of the era. a pre steven universe world, if that makes sense. so many of the jokes that end in a hit aren't funny in 2024. especially not when they come from a parent.
when this splinter speaks about his kids to their brothers he often ends up insulting them. "you should be like mikey, he never overthinks because he doesn't think", this would be a big reason the boys speak about each other the way they do to their faces. puts forward a bit more of that bullying thing i mentioned earlier. if their own father talks about them like this, of course their brothers do too. so of course they join in and give payback.
again. splinter wasnt raised in a normal family. he was raised in a ninja commune with a bunch of murderers. he wasn't great with his wife and baby daughter. its not surprising that he's bad at this.
so, ive just said a bunch of things about what's wrong with this household as a whole. i think ive explained why the family unit behaves the way it does: generational teachings of feuds and traditional values. i dont think this makes the show bad! i, in fact, wish there was more of it. i think theres so much low hanging fruit that the show kind of wants to play with, but cant fully bring itself to.
specific example: during the space arc on a planet thats driving all the characters emotions against each other we get this amazing scene where raph screams at leo for being splinter's favourite. leo responds by hugging him. its really well done!
however its never brought up again, never actually getting into the nitty gritty of why raph feels like that is exactly what i think makes this show resonate with so many people
its dark! it pulls at your heart strings! it makes people feel seen! we go in mikey's head at one point and see such splintered (lol) personalities in his head. he has a huge anger problem (much like raph) in there. he retreats into imagination land when stressed. the show kind of toys with "these kids are fucked up!" but never lets those character moments go anywhere. i love how fucked up this family is. its so complex, it feels real. at least real to me. i wish it went that little step further and let the characters talk about these things a little more.
maybe you have a different experience, and thats fine! but i wouldnt brush off people like me who look at 2012 and say "these dynamics make me uncomfortable". to excuse it by saying "my family is like that and we're fine" sometimes i just wanna say... <:/ are you? have you talked about that? and if that's your read on it is that its fine, thats great. but some people notice patterns and those patterns can make them uncomfortable. i hope ive explained the patterns here.
i think thats why the fandom is as big as it is. this show would lead to the most amazing deep introspective fan-works youve ever seen, it lays the pieces out so perfectly for you to draw your own conclusions about why they are this way. you cant really blame people for talking about it as if its got a way higher rating than it does. it feels like it does.
i should say, i dont even know if i blame the show on its own for leaving those pieces laying there, it was on nickelodeon. i sense studio meddling in the tone. i mean, given that the show wanted to end with the big mutant apocalypse storyline, and yet the network wanted to end it with the big 87 crossover..... yeah i think its safe to say nick would rather they keep it light.
which is funny, because i think the most controversial thing i can say is i personally love the finale arc as the mutant apocalypse. it so encapsulates my favorite part of this show. to end this show in the darkest timeline and say "even though these characters are so far removed from who they used to be and even though the entire world is over they still have each other in the end" and i find that so perfect.
so. i understand that this is always a touchy topic. i know people want to brush it off as "people say the 12 brothers are abusive to mikey but mikey is fine", and i think thats a really skewed version of it from both sides. first of all. mikey is not fine, look in that boys head. look how he copes. he's not. but also, mikey is not the only victim. they all are. these turtles are victims of their upbringing, victims of generational war. of men who didnt know how to be good fathers in the first place. and thats good writing! it feels deep! it connects!
for more context: any fucked up way you can think of karai being raised by shredder? its probably the same way here. splinter and shredder were raised the same way.
i guess i think about this a lot, cuz i always see things like "oh, rise fans write crossovers where the rise boys love each other and have to teach the 12 boys how to be nice cuz they dont like 2012!" and i just think to myself:
guys. do you understand why a person might do that? why would someone (likely a teenager) want 2012 mikey to be treated nicely by a kinder more openly affectionate version of his own family? do i need to spell that out for you? why do we connect with media at all, why do we write our own stories about it?
if you genuinely dont. i mean, im glad for you. but sometimes you wanna imagine a world in which your own family is more openly affectionate with you. where they hug and tell you theyre proud and love you and you never have to question it, never have to look elsewhere for that kind of approval. its less that they're idolizing rise, and more that they're looking at the two families and saying "this one is emotionally mature and in touch with their feelings more than that one. how would that play out?"
doctor feelings ass response.
look, im not saying everyone understands 2012, that everyone likes or needs to like it. im just trying to say that i think these fucked up parts of 2012 are all around my favourite parts of the show. its an inspiring story about this fucked up little family that has no one but each other, and they're not great about it. they try, but they don't always get it right. i just wish the show would have talked about that part more. but i think that since it doesnt people get to fill in those blanks themselves, and they do it so beautifully. and i really wish people on the internet would be more kind to one another when they wanted to discuss these darker themes they find in it.
these are the reasons i love this show. i think its so very interesting that splinter dies this fucked up father figure who never really apologized for his behaviour. i like that raph needs to be held to stop punching his brothers. that leo doesnt have a good grip on what it is to be a leader, that he tries bad ways of doing it. i like that no one copes well! i like that their relationships are so complex! this show is messy! its good! i wish it was more messy!
and id love if we could be more honest about these things and how they make us feel instead of just brushing each other off as "likes the show" or "doesnt like the show". the things that make me uncomfortable are why i love this show and i'm pretty sure i'm not alone there.
#tmnt#thoughts#tmnt 2012#the post ive been putting off for a year!!!!!#im not sure if i said everything i wanted to but its obviously long enough and i dont want to just summarize things#its here folks im gonna go on a mental health walk now#rip me a new one or dont. just hear me out
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thinking about the specific moments where the berzatto family falls in love with sydney (because of course they do, everyone does).
for richie, it takes the end of the beef and right up till the opening of the bear to happen. he is full of contempt and grief when he meets her and all he knows is that when he looks at her face he is afraid. he doesn’t like that feeling. richie is not a man who finds himself fearful a lot, but she is everything he is not and nothing that he is and he hates himself for it. if she is what it means to be passionate, then what is he? is he nothing but an empty shell of mikey, stuck on earth to shake his fist at passing clouds, because how dare they move and continue on like mikey was nothing to them, as if he wasn’t the very point that the earth revolved around? everyone is leaving him behind, and she is proudly leading the pack. it’s not right. but then— he gets it. he talks to garrett and jess and chef terry and he sees sydney in every corner of that restaurant. the fear slowly is replaced with respect as the week goes on and he realizes that just because she’s good doesn’t mean she’s out to get him. that’s the berzatto upbringing in him doing the talking, but it doesn’t have to, because shes a berzatto now, maybe not officially (not yet, but mark his words, she will be) but she is, and that’s not how she does things. so, he lets her lead them into the future to something good and different and better.
for sugar, it’s instant. she was born to a mother who is triggered by her very existence, and it has hurt her all her life. she is full of love and the one person she wants to give it to the most doesn’t want any part of it. she was born to give but is surrounded by those who are afraid to even take it, to reach out their hand and meet her in the middle. and if they cant take then they themselves have nothing to give, so she gets used to being the one who has to force feed her love down their throats, because if no one does, if no one shows them that they are worthy of good things, then they will crumble (“if i just talked to him more—” “no, nat—” “if i had just—” “it’s not your fault, honey. it’s never been.”). but when she meets sydney, it’s like looking into a mirror. she sees her bright eyes and soft smiles and careful but strong hands and instantly recognizes her for what she is: a giver. and sugars heart swells with even more love than she thought possible, because finally, she’s not alone— there is someone else there to slowly, albeit subconsciously, take care of her crumbling family, to show them that despite what their mother may have taught them, its okay to not be okay (she tries her best not to cry when syd asks her if shes okay, but she does. and syd doesnt grab her face or yell at her or call her stupid. she makes her a meal. and sugar cries some more).
for cicero, the love isn’t instant, and it’s not even entirely love. she is strong and she is assertive, but that also makes her naive and a very expensive risk. she makes him curious for what’s to come, intrigued by the way she doesn’t back down from carmy whose voice so often mimics the berzattos that came before him (“you’re better than this, kid.” “i don’t know what i am.” “whatever it is, it’s not this.”). she's self assured and knows her place in the establishment and is unafraid to let people know it. it’s a refreshing change of pace from mikey, who often resorted to intimidation to get his way, or carmy, who’s anxiety envelopes him and distracts him from what’s right there in front of him. but she is not them. she is focused and on track and is willing to put in the work to get what she wants. he doesn’t visit the bear often, only drops by once in a while to deliver bad news or to fulfill a favour or to just enjoy some good food, but when he does, she is always there, dedicated to ensuring that carmy and michaels, and now, her dream stays alive. she is good for his family, and he trusts her to keep the berzatto spirit alive.
for michelle, it’s quite simple. she always looked out for carmy, their little bear, so when she meets her it’s a family thanksgiving party at the bear and syd stumbles out of the kitchen, obviously frazzled and a little sweaty (“carmy, im not ready, i didn’t even change yet and the turk—” “don’t worry, tina will take care of it, you look great, they’ll love you, they just really wanted to meet you—”), but she’s smiling. she’s a little awkward when she introduces herself, and michelle finds herself endeared by her nervous ramble (“it’s, uh, really nice to meet you guys. sorry, i didn’t know that i was going to be pulled out of the kitchen so soon. uh, im sydney. yeah, i guess carmy already told you guys, huh? um. im sorry, how are you related to the family again? i mean, i dont want to offend but it’s just. uh. well, you guys are just very... normal?”) and she’ll laugh and look at stanley and the two of them will think to themselves, good job carmy, she’s a good one, before telling syd something dumb and nonsensical about a genetic mutation and richie interrupts to tell michelle it’s not a genetic mutation it’s called being boring and syd will laugh and michelle will too, truly happy that their little bear found someone normal, a breath of fresh air within the smoke of their family.
for donna, it’s weird. it’s tense. they don’t meet for a long time. they don’t meet at the bear when it first opens and not at the bear even when it has found it’s footing, but by chance. they are somewhere mundane (a grocery store, a park, or maybe just the street) and there is no other family member around when syd meets the berzatto matriarch. she only knows what donna looks like from photos at sugars house because carmys apartment is devoid of any actual sentiment (although that has begun to change since she made him get an actual dresser and he dedicated one of the drawers to her stuff). she calls out to her by her name, and donna turns around startled. she doesn’t recognize syd, of course, who introduces herself and informs her of who she is to the family. when donna smiles it’s not a real one, and syd knows this, but it doesn’t deter her. she tells donna that her kids love her (“even after everything, nat?” “she’s our mother. its all that we can do.”) and that her kids are great (“carmy, you are not broken.” “im a little broken.” “no, listen to me, the fact that you are still here, means something. its something.”) and that there will always be a table for her at the bear (“chef, someones calling in for a reso for 1 but we’re all full up… except for—“ “yo, dont finish that sentence. table 7 for ms. berzatto is an indefinite booking. is that understood?” “yes, chef”). donnas smile fades and her chest fills with anger but just as she’s about to explode in typical berzatto fashion syd interrupts her. she has faced the bear many a time before and has handled herself with grace and dignity everytime, so this is no different. she smiles brightly and thanks donna for listening to her and hopes she considers coming in, because she’d really like to cook for her. she looks like she needs a good meal. she deserves one. she turns and walks away. donnas stomach growls. that night, table 7 is occupied for the first time since the bear opened its doors.
and carmy? well, there isn’t an exact moment. its a culmination of awkward partnership (“i don’t want to be shitty.” “okay, then dont be.”) and flawless teamwork (“the menu needs—” “already on it, chef.”) and nights unwinding at the bar down the street (“of course you drink an old fashioned.” “what’s that supposed to mean?” “nothing, it’s just very… tortured-chef-from-the-slums-of-chicago of you”) and spontaneous phone calls just to hear the others voice (“why are you whispering?” “i… don’t know. my dads home. its a habit.” “you’re 27.” “and you’re white, you wouldn’t get it.”) till they’re just inseparable (“cousin, wheres carmy?” “with syd, duh.” “why'd i even ask?”). and then, sydney and carmen become something else. something tender and sweet and terrifying and beautiful all mixed together into… something. there’s no word for what they have. but it feels so right; to the guests who taste their food and recognize that the hands who put it together are full of love and care; to the staff at the bear who see the unspoken communication, the lingering touches, and their soft eyes that seem to always be on the other; to the berzatto family who notice that carmy looks a little brighter, and shakes a little less. yes, its love, but its so much more. it’s syd and carmy. it always has been, and always will be.
(“can i ask you something? something corny and lame and gross?” “always.” “when did you, like, know?” “know what?” “like, when did you know that you loved me? like, not as a chef or a friend, but as... y'know.” “that’s very middle school of you to ask.” “shut up, i did warn you.” “…” “so?” “its, uh, i don’t, i don’t know.” “well, that’s rude.” “no, i mean, i can’t say its one moment because... it was all of them. together. like, one moment you’re staging and then everything happened and, and, keeps happening but the next thing i knew you were there and you always were there and i just knew that i never wanted you to not be there.” “that’s…. really, really, disgusting, and frankly, a little unprofessional.” “oh, fuck off.” “no, like, i knew you were obsessed with me, but wow, that is a whole new other level.” “fuck you, get off of me, don’t touch me.” “no no no, please—” “i let you into my family—” “let me?” “into my restaurant—” “i think you mean OUR restaurant—” “only for you to humiliate me in my own bed? how dare you.” “…are you sulking?” “…” “…carmy?” “syd?” “me too.” “…heard, chef. now come back here.”)
(and it’s unspoken, but everyone knows that michael would’ve loved her too. i mean, she’s sydney fucking adamu, she conquered the bear. how could anyone not love her?)
#this is just a love letter to sydney adamu#because she is everything right with the world#she’s got that dawg (re: bear) in her#the bear#the bear fx#the bear hulu#sydney adamu#ayo edibiri#carmen berzatto#jeremy allen white#richie jerimovich#natalie berzatto#cicero the bear#cousin michelle the bear#donna berzatto#michael berzatto#sydcarmy#sydney x carmy#carmy x sydney
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Lorenzo berkshire arranged marriage 😝
YES YES YES YES YES OMG YES 100x
Okay okay so like??? How did we end up in this situation??? Because you knew Lorenzo in school but that man was a BITCHHHHHHH okay? Like he was a DICK and not someone you ever wanted to spend time around. I mean, yeah, he was hot, but that personality was simply distasteful, you arent even sure he knew you existed the 7 years you were in school together
So surprise surprise, when you graduated, (and im gonna be real with you this would only happen if youre a pureblood OR MAYBE HARD MAYBE a half-blood with two very powerful and influential magic parents) dearest mummy and daddy decided;
“Hm! More power and influence?? Good idea!”
And with that, you were arranged to marry into the Berkshire family! How clever! How smart! How lucky for you!
Except, when you’re finally alone with Lorenzo for the first time, he doesnt even bother looking at you as he says “You’re married to me only for show. I will not be your doting husband, but if you want to live a good, long life, you’ll be the perfect wife for me.”
And you’re like. Wtf? Because? This is not how marriage works?
Alas, the ceremony goes on. His lips are addictively soft as you kiss at the alter, and after that? Gone from your line of sight. No where to be found. Actually- you do find him in a study with all his friends, drinking fire whiskey around the fire place. They laugh about the situation, one of them speaking up to say “hey, could be worse. At least she’s hot.”
And you’re like. Wow. Really classy. Very funny. (It hurt your feelings quite a bit)
And trust, you do not see Lorenzo for a very long time. Like. You’re in separate bedrooms, on separate sides of his large estate, with purposely different schedules.
You’ll see him in a corridor occasionally and its like seeing a ghost fr
Regardless, youre expected to attend formal things with him, and you’re expected to stand by his side. And this is really the first time you two get along. Cuz y’see? Lorenzo loves to gossip. A real manwhore for it. So whenever he sees a woman sneaking away from her husband to see another man?? Oh boy he needs to tell someone and you are the physically closest person to him.
And Lorenzo is… aghast really to learn how… witty you are. He was ultimately flabbergasted. He found you… pleasant to talk to.
So he begins joining you at dinner, spouting off drama between his co-workers, updating you on his friends, on himself.
It actually is quite a relaxing way to decompress at the end of the day. And, to add to all of that, you start to see your husband around more often. He actually seeks out your company at the end of a long work day, sitting next to you in the library while you read. Just to be around you.
Then the gifts start.
Showering you in gifts- new clothes, jewelry, flowers, this and that, gives you his card and takes you out for an evening of shopping. Bonus if he gets ro help you choose what dress you like more.
Then he gets touchy, absentmindedly grabbing your hand in a crowd, letting your legs drape across his lap while you sit together, an arm around your shoulders if youre close enough.
He kisses you for the first time on your anniversary, and asks you out on a date. A real date. That should have happened long before the wedding.
And life is good after that <3
#rot says so#arranged marriage Lorenzo#slytherin boys#lorenzo berkshire#lorenzo berkshire x reader#enzo berkshire#asshole lorenzo berkshire core#enzo berkshire x reader#enzo berkshire x reader fluff#lorenzo berkshire fluff#lorenzo berkshire x reader fluff
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