#maybe itd be different if it was just us
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i thought this year we were gonna hav dinner together just the 3 of us when my mom got the table thats what she told me but it turns out my brother n his new gf are coming which means i am once again going 2 b spending christmas in my room frozen shaking w anxiety & crying
#i dont even like eating w ppl esp not holiday dinners they make me dizzy n mess w my mental state real bad but .#i dont know why i felt hopeful this year#maybe itd be different if it was just us#i dont kno#maybe i didnt think about it n i just got caught up in their plans#but we even got a tree again#n decorated n i helped do the stairs#it felt like maybe itd be something#but its ok#im fine ive been happy enough doing this since i was younger#i just need 2 forget the hope i had#maybe i can get high n watch an old christmas jerma stream#it will b fun#theres still gifts n terry oranges#OOO man a chocolate orange while high would probably hit so hard#i was gonna make shortbread too maybe but its too late to get ingredients n i am so. tired.#body hort
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Might be a hot take as a bkdk and tgck truther here, but I find izuocha endlessly fascinating, beautiful, but also tearfully tragic.
I see their love for each other as something representative of their innocence and naivety when they only knew so little about who they were, and what was to come.
I think the main barrier of their relationship is that its rooted in how they see each other very idealistically, specifically that they're attached to the image of their Best Heroic Selves, and not the deeply selfish, destructive, freaky, and egotistical parts of them. To each other, they need to keep fulfilling that image or else that same person they looked up to would almost die in front of them, and that would be too cruel. Although that hero is still there, that same person they looked up to is not the same now because of...well...everything.
Izuku had barely even talked to girls when he first met her. She was Izuku's first ever real friend (Sorry Kats, everyone and him knows he was terrible), so he saved her in that entrance exam even if it was so dangerous. She gave a new meaning to his derogatory nickname just by being a friend that believed in him. After that, she saved him several more times (Blackwhip and Megaphone are the biggest samples iirc). It makes perfect sense that she is Deku's hero.
Ochako hardly knew what it meant to be a hero when she first got into UA. Just by reaching out to some kid tripping, she made a new friend who would then save her in that exam, then save him again in return. This boy then became someone who was always working so hard to save everyone in trouble, and she realized she wanted to be just like him too. "I want to save people"
But...Deku changes. The weight of One for All is on his shoulders and he needs someone to carry this burden with him. He continues to want to save other people at the expense of himself, still not letting his true selfishness and ego ever show- and it only grows more and more unbearable.
Then...Ochako fell in love with Himiko. Truly, relentlessly, selfishly and devotedly in love with a girl who then dies giving her blood to her- the greatest expression of love Himiko could ever give.
Not that they can't love each other because of this happening (and...so many other things oh god), I'm honestly not sure how to explain it- But them ending up together after losing that innocence and naivety? After Ochako will forever grieve the girl who showed her love in its most beautiful and ugly form? After Izuku changed so fundamentally as a person that the butterflies of a nice girl talking to you doesn't exist anymore? After that simple image of being a hero and being in love has completely changed for them both?
Even so, I believe they still love each other. There is no label I know of that can properly describe them though. They are each other's image of being a hero when it comes to saving people. Aside from Shoto, no one else can grasp the grief of the person you tried to save dying in your hands. They would no doubt try to cope with these losses together, and just try to get better together...but so much has changed. They've changed. The world changed. What are they now? Who are they now?
"What happened...to us?"
#I just think the tragedy of falling out of love for the person who represents who they Used to be is so...so painful#Kacchan isn't even here yet and it's already so complicated.#also. Izch healing together after all this would also be really nice#if u like them ending up together thats also perfectly fine too. im just a bkdk and tgck truther myself. thats kinda my whole thing#but izch forming a deep bond from their experiences and saving eachother#and maybe later on trying to date too...oh boy#and them being able to just...be more casual again. talk abt their lives and dreams together too just so they know they have each other#oh itd be so healing and beautiful#im so glad izuku talked to ochako on that cliff man oh man...#izuocha the underrated tragic love that they could've been if ppl werent so close minded abt them#only the real izch fans understand just how much these two actually mean to each other. god bless yall I swear even if I dont ship ship it#thank u to that person who wrote abt them being characters than run in parallel#that narrative structure for them is permanently in my brain. I love these two so much its no joke#my Extra hot take is that izch wouldve been treated better by the fandom if it was gay.#but we'd still agree on bkdk as the endgame after all that happened. maybe. idk this is a hypothetical.#if you switch ock and kats genders...this wouldve been a very different story and fandom. insane food for thought with this one.#ok thats my yap for the night oh god i have so many feelings about them...#evelynpr bnha#bnha#mha#my hero academia#izuocha#actually confidently putting this tag now. sorry for the angst you guys...and maybe being seen as a traitor#im a strong girl I could take on potential haters hahaha...#izuku midoriya#ochako uraraka
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Imagine if Nico could learn to control when he turns into shadows.
Like, in The Blood of Olympus Nico would start fading after shadow traveling too much, and sometimes Reyna and Coach Hedge wouldn't be able to touch him, and one time he even accidentally walked through a tree. Imagine if he learned to control that intangibility.
Imagine if he could just turn parts of his body into shadows. Imagine if, in a fight, someone swings at him, and he knows he can't dodge in time, so he turns into shadows for a second so the weapon goes right through him, and while his enemy is confused he uses the distraction to land the final blow.
Imagine if he could just walk/reach through walls and doors and stuff.
I just think that, for someone with the title of ghost king (and as a child of the Underworld), he deserves more ghost-like powers.
#i might write a fic about this 🤔#we'll see#i just think itd be so cool#he would be the best at a haunted house#and it would be so useful in fights#maybe now that he's taking better care of himself post tsats he'll have enough energy to not get so tired after using his powers#so itll be safer to start experimenting with smth like this#tbh i think nico has the best potential power-wise bc the underworld is so vast so he could potentially have a lot of different abilities#hazel too tbh#like we've seen that nico can control the earth/rocks so i bet hazel has some contol over the dead and she just hasnt really tried yet#but im getting off topic lol#point is i think nico should have the ability to basically become a ghost at will (but not in the dying way)#nico di angelo#riordanverse#rick riordan#heros of olympus#pjo hoo toa
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ok. question.
ortega ended up hallucinating sidestep after they "died", but sidestep doesnt know about that. they know it got bad, but never the full extent of how their death affected them. so if your sidestep Did learn, if they found out ortega looked for them in every little piece they could, would that change anything for your sidesteps? would their relationship with ortega be any different?
#pulp speaks#Am i thinking of my “ortega sees sidestep posthb” fic again? perhaps#shameless plug btw yall should read it its called 'seen' on ao3 and i still like it#but anyway the important bits: ive been thinking about it with my sidesteps and its really interesting to me how different they are#but theyre all some variation of “i didnt know you /cared/”#caine is. uncomfortable with the idea#i genuinely dont know why but i do know that in the end their feelings on the matter are “whats done is done and im back now” with a small#“ill try not to leave again” mixed in#meanwhile cyrus is a deer in headlights over it#itd be way worse if he learned it when they met again- i feel like if he learned ortega was still that attached he wouldve left and never-#-come back. he would still want to Now but hes too tangled in his relationships and ortega is his /friend/ and leaving would just explode i#-his face‚ god Damnit ortega you son of a bitch‚ he shouldve just run. you werent supposed to drag him into caring about people again.#cecilia would have mixed feelings about it. i think shed resonate with it a lot for reasons she doesnt want to face#but it would also hit her like a goddamn Truck that he chose to move on/replace her rather than try get her back and its easier to get mad-#-about that than question her own feelings. but also maybe she could use this to her advantage? maybe this time he knows theres always a-#-chance hell come back for her next time. maybe. shes hoping there wont be a next time.#cynthias an interesting case because shes in love with ortega. deeply. but ortega /never came for her/ when she /promised/ and cynthia-#-is still furious about it#ortega hallucinated her in death but she couldnt put the pieces together and go looking herself? she cared enough to look for her but-#-not enough to save her?#she would still end up settling on bitterness for abandoning her but the information would shake her to her core#anyway. i think ortega should be used as a squeaky toy 👍#caine lynzal#cyrus becker#cecilia rider#cynthia garcia#ortega#sidestep#fhr
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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after hours of knitting i have decided that actually i hate this yarn and i need to find a new one
#my heart says i want a multi color yarn but my brain says u Know ghis color is their favorite but u don't know if u can find a multi color#yarn w this as a base. so maybe i need to find a second yarn and add in more color myself. but i already looked through what i have and it's#all the wrong size/color. i could probs ask my mother if she has any yarn shes not gonna use that would work for this but i also dont know#what this person would appreciate as a secondary color. i mean i grust my heart but also idk#or maybe ghe color isnt the issue and i just gotta use a different pattern that suits this color better ?#ough whatever. i have other projects i need to complete anyway ghis one can wait ig#anyway ive been in Such a crafty mood im gonna make stamps tomorrow and this time i will try not to almost cut my fingertip off!!!!#actually while im on the topic of stamps 1) i don't think ive ever poted it but i totally made a beetle stamp at one point and it goes hard#as fuck and 2) i wonder how hard itd be to make stamps cute to give to ppl. like makinh stamps is fun but id want them to look cute so theyd#need a base or a handle and they'd have to be like a holdable size if i want them to be small hmmm hnm#or perhaps i will make big stamps. actually idk if i have enough material for big stamps but printmaking is so cool i kinda wanna do a#lawlight piece as a stamp that takes up like a whole page i think itd be rad#hmm much to consider.....
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it was so stupidly difficult to find any nutritionist who has experience with arfid & takes insurance so after having to go through all these referrals my therapist sent me & jumping through hoops I lowkey hate the lady lmao feels like such a waste of time & energy
#its only our third time meeting but its so beyond fucking frustrating to feel like we spent the whole hour going in circles & lowkey arguing#& like she never actually listened to any of the things ive told her. like the ENTIRW REASON i told her i was seeking extra help after#dealing w arfid type noncense all my life was 'achieving goal x is always kind of tough but im trying to do it while also achieving goal y &#im struggling with finding a way to balance the two things' like thats IT & then as shes suggesting things to try im like idk of those are#worth the effort bcus they conflict w goal y & shes like. have you considered not worrying about that so you can focus on x?#like NO bcus thats what i was previoislt doing & it doesnt fucking work for me! & she was just not understanding what i meant by adding#variety or having 'better options' shes all like. ok but even if this new thing conflicts with goal y it can just be another option for you#like thats not the POINT i already have enough options i can switch between that conflict with that like the whole point is i need to fill#the gaps w things that are nutritionally different. like if im ok with something thatll use up a significant portion of ny daily values of#shit then i already have multiple options that i actively like well enough i dont wanna waste my time adding more that are things i think#are just ok but take more work. literally whats the point of that#& im like i think rather than me just thinking of random shit i think i could try itd be helpful if I could like get some guidance on like#what are some things that fall into somewhere into this category or this adjacent category while also not being this other thing & then i#cab like determine from there what i already like & can try & add more of & things from that list that sound like sth i can try#& shes like well idk theres a lot of foods out there. YEAH ABD ISNT IT YOUR FUCKING JOB TO KNOW ABOUT FOOD? like i gave fairly specific#parameters this isnt like a 'list every food on earth' type of question what am i even paying you for if you cant come up with a list#like that. & she jept getting hung up on like well lots of things that are the most calorically dense are gonna be like that like ok it#doesnt have to be the MOST dense maybe think about it like 'the densest things in this other category' which sounded straightforward to me#but she was just like continuing to argue & also like getting hung up on reminding me that everything is dependent on portions like#I FUCKING KNOW?? like if a serving of something is like 10% of my dv id rather find something where a serving is 5% etc. idk how thats like#a hard concept like whats the point of adding something to be like oh sure ill have a third of a serving & get 50 extra calories out of it#be so fr rn im so beyond frustrated still even tho its been hours since i talked to her this is more stressful & annoying than the stress of#just trying to figure shit out on my own i fucking hate having to try & re explain nyaelf ivee & over & have someone just talk over me &#fail to understand what im getting at. im one more shitty session away from quitting & just resigining myself to 70% liquid diet#anyways#texticles
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just found out im apparently deathly allergic to fics that follow canon very closely, using literal episode scripts often, but insert or change a few minor sentences to slightly change the scene's meaning or characterization for the fic
#cant even say it's about misinterpretation because. youre taking the scripts verbatim. clearly you are aware youre adding/changing things#maybe its about mischaracterization i guess?#in novel situations you cant know what a character would say or do exactly#but in canon you know for sure that they'd do and say the things they did and said#I mean thats what the entire character exists out off. their fabric#but then again i dont usually mind a slightly different characterization from canon#or maybe its just this case where it was used to make quote-unquote the others more callous towards jon in s4#and i had to go back and check for myself that. no basira really didn't say that. im not remembering things better than they were#she just didnt#but i think itd still get to me if it was something tim said in s2 or so#joos yaps
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for the violence ask game: 8 common fandom opinion everyone is wrong about. for milgram. i know exactly what you're going to say i just want to see you go off again
Hiii bestie. You do know what I'm about to talk about. Yippee
Disclaimer that this whole essay is like. For fun and how I say things is ramped up to be funny. I don't mind if you disagree w me cuz like that's the nature of things! We disagree but we can get along.
Anyways short answer for people who don't wanna see the essay: organ harvesting theory. This is about shidou.
Idk how prevalent it is rn since not many people even talk about shidou but it was prevalent enough in June when I got into milgram that I believed it for a bit anyways the rest in under the cut cuz I'm insane sorrg
SO the main reason I think the theory is WRONG (hyperbole‼️) is because I just think it's unrealistic. Man works in a hospital in Japan. How would he pull it off. Scuff an operation bad enough to cause braindeath/death and I'm p sure they suspend your medical licence, if he participated in an organ harvesting operation pre-family-accident his case would then be black and white cuz he was doing it in complete sound mind with no regard for human life. Also it wouldn't justify the extreme reaction he's had to realizing, specifically, "what I've been robbing people of" (t1 voice trailer), and he wouldn't have as heavy a focus on the relatives' feelings and reactions. At least story writing wise it'd make less sense since it doesn't allude to anything if that's the end goal? Imo at least. Idk maybe this is because I really like tragedies in media. Also because it'd be a really disproportionately severe crime compared to every other direct murderer???? Like. We have strangled someone, stabbed someone, bludgeoning, bludgeoning, kicked someone to death. Organ harvesting looks cartoony in this context. It's also not a very prevelant issue in Japan iirc.
Also to prove my point further. If we use this theories the murders would be
Strangling, abortion??????, cyber bullying, stabbing, organ harvesting, toxic r/s, telling the truth (lmao), bludgeoning, bludgeoning, bludgeoning (minus weapon). Organ harvesting is goofy cuz it seems so.... Extreme,,,,,,,
ALSSOOOOO funny point. If he's not directly involved in his murder (as in, unintentional and indirect) that makes 5 direct and 5 indirect. Silly.
Also also his murder seems somewhat tied to how he feels about his job itself ("I wanted to contribute to society (about his career choice)/I had thought my work was a contribution to society", use of past tense) and to me it reads like hes disillusioned w his job esp since his reason for getting a highly sought after, high paying and high social ranking job is "I wanted to contribute to society". Doctors with that empathy can be affected by the death around them more severely and I think that's a fun topic to look at
I count this under "common fandom opinion" cuz it was common enough around June (whenyours truesly got into milgram) that I believed it. I mean I introduced shidou to my friend (hello clown) as "maybe Dr malpractice. Organ harvesting dude" and said friend (hello again clown) is also the one who's heard me bash the organ harvesting theory like 6 times at least now so. Yippee.
Take none of this seriously I just got off a plane and am so very eepy. If you like the organ harvesting theory good for you!!!!!!!💥💥💥💥💥 you do you bestie !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I literally do not think less of anyone who believes that theory I just personally dont lmao
#sand speaks#hiiiii bestie my silly mutual. youve heard this rant before now for it poorly formatted in text#i mean its better formatted than when i actually talk abt it cuz if i wrote it the way i originally did the points would not be organised#like at all. itd be so bad#anyways all of this is lighthearted i dont think less of anyone with different opinions i just. dont believe the theory at all#i like the tragedy thag comes woth it technhcally not being his fault but also kinda being his fault.#like maybe he had really bad manners towards relatives. or horribls bedside manner (youre in my way just die already“ like ok mr kirisaki.#dont say that to a comatose patient my dude. but yeah it can be argued that morally hed be in the wdong#or if he persuaded relatives to dknate patients organs. which is rude and also malpractice (coercion and taking advantage of ppl in vulnerab#and with his themes of lying (covers) i fhink it could wither be lying to relatives of patients OR. him seeing hsi work and the promise of#saving people from illness or death as a lie and a hoax becasye so many people died anyways despite those promises#anhwyas im insane about this man. characters with extreme worldviews entirely of their own making my beloved#like nothing told him to believe this. he just does and thats whats interesting to me#anywasy suuper sorry about the big essay and the many tags. i love this fandom#i have so much to say but so little phone battery. and mental battery its Zzzzzzzzz time#tell me if abything in here sounds mean or anything btw im too used to being mean as a jokiing thing so im worried ill offend someone
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i got some watercolor brush markers for christmas !! did some other coloring to get used to it then pumped this out. anyways now all i can think about is drawing slither wing
[reblogs appreciated !!]
#honestly this looks a LOT better than anything i colored with my copic markers like holy shit?#i might actually start doing traditional art fr again.... ive been doing nothing but doodles for a while now LOLE#hopefully ill be able to draw more often!! i really want to but i just. Havent. for the past year and a half. what happened man...#i used to crank out so many drawings and drawpiles like in one week alone. 15 year old me was different#but ANYWAYS i got my first ever screen tablet (its a kamvas 13 and its really nice. im loving the hotkey buttons)#so im excited to do more digital stuff as well!!#also. new sketchbook. it works with my mechanical pencils much better than my last few holy shit#like if i was struggling on a sketch in my old ones i could only erase so much otherwise itd start rubbing the surface of the paper off 💀#this one does not do that at all! and it doesn't bleed easy either#hm. maybe i could draw some scrimblos in here ......#pokemon#slither wing#my art#pkmn art
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thinking about yoohankim again
#straight up i dont even think theyd be in a like. idk the word. normal relationship. lmao#like theyre all so definitely in love with each other and would do anything for eachothwr but like#but idk if it would even be in a completely romantic sense i think the lines are like incredibly blurred for the kind of love thwyre in#ITS HARD TO PROPERLY ARTICULATE MY THOUGHTS ABOUT IT RN maybe ill write a real post later idk#yoohankim is just soooooo#i love you id do anything for you i literally changed and fought against thebworld for you i exist Because of you you are the reason im aliv#there is no reality where we wouldnt meet anf depend on each other.#but these feelings i have for you go so far beyond romantic or platonic theres no use defining it#if you fell in love with someone else i wouldnt mind because it wouldnt get in the way of what we have. what we have is different#its special#they would never let each other go they would make out sloppy But I Dont Think Theyd Get Married#or like whatever#i dont think they would ever refer to each other with pet names/as their significant other in anything other than a teasing way#it just goes so beyond like everything I DONT KNOWWWWWW#sometimes i see fanart of them being so sweets and its like awww this is so sweets vut i dont think itd actually happen#DOES THIS MAKE SENSE. WHATEVER#i think thats another reason why im such a joongdok hater I DONT THINK THEYD BE IN AN ACTUAL RELATIONSHIPPPPPP#THEYRE YAOIFUL IN A DIFFERENT WAY IM SORRYYYYYYYY#just because theyd have insane gay sex does notttttttt mean theyd tell each other i love you#2 me#if you think different thats fineeee it IS cute and i see where youre coming from i just disagreeeee its whatver#omniscient posting
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My 1 take I can give on current bfdi/tpot "criticism" (which I don't see much of but It Exists) is that from what I've seen is that a good chunk of it can be boiled down to "It's not pre split bfb"
#i try not to post opinions like these a lot cuz#1. i rather have these discussions with my friends if anything#2. I don't use social media as much anymore so I see less discourse#but its like#it kinda baffles me how when i DO see criticism towards the show a lot is just#'its not charcter/story driven and doesnt have/finish arcs'#which. may i remind you#in pre split bfb they didnt finish or halfass them either#it was so ambitious. too much for its own good imo#and sure itd be cool if we had that but#thats just not what the show is#for the majority of its run#i feel like ppl are too postsplit poisoned idk#thats its own can of worms#maybe now that bfdia is continuing ppl See what i mean that when i say#tpot is rly just More of that era bfdi again#sorry but if you want smth more character and story driven you may just want a Different Show#cuz tpot isnt bad for that. It's just not what you want#anyway i think the show is the best it could probably be rn and im having fun#if i want smth more srs i look at other things
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I just remembered! That my dream was helpful enough to give me something neat for Alerik! My dream overall was really messy but one scenario in it was about this group of friends where one of them has the power to summon gods so long as he knows their name or appearance. So then, one of his friends was like: "What if we summon Alerik?" and the guy was like: "We don't know his true name, that's just one of his many names."
And then another friend was like: "What about appearance then? We know what she looks like." and then another friend answered that one instead like: "No, his appearance changes with our perception, we don't know what they actually look like." And then my dream changed during then but that's a really! neat thing to add to Alerik! I'm doing it!
#aria rants#ariaoc#i was alrdy thinking of adding the ''aleriks appearance changes depending on what ppl think of him as'' yesterday cuz i got the#idea from playing slay the princess a bit (yaknow-- the whole perception thing) but for alerik itd just be appearance#but whats rlly neat is the fact that alerik gets to have many names tho! i like that! ofc his main name will be alerik still#but like-- in my original universe-- some worlds refer to him differently so no one really knows what his Actual name is#other than the other divine beings ofc as creatures thats able to communicate with him. tbh i dont know if ill give him#a ''true name'' in a similar sense like how halcyon and felicity has true names oooorrr his true name will just be alerik#maybe or maybe not. depends honestly. but yea! aleriks name will still be alerik for me. and yea he uses any pronouns tbh#comes with the whole ''appearance changes on someones perception'' so he can be a girl or a creature or anything at all!#for a default appearance in which id draw him as. thatd be a long haired guy cuz i love men with long hair... alas... i am predictable
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what if instead of messaging me in the middle of the night about your stupid fucking girlfriend and your stupid fucking problems with her you actually act like my fucking friend and message me like how you message everyone else in our group
#bye ignore my venting bigger problems what fucking ever#im sick of her ass she only messages us for us to help her with her fucking girlfriend problems like we arent even friends atthis fckn point#and i love her shes so funny whatever but god shes literally the worst because i just want to be friends i dont fucking care ab her goddamn#selfish ass gf thats shes obsessed with. be obsessed tell me about it but cant we be friends ab other stuff too#we used to be her 'favorite friend' cause we shared so many interests and we hung around what fucking ever but fuck that right#get a gf and just use us to help better yalls relationship without even telling her you're sharing her private msgs w us huh yeah sure#what fucking ever im so done with this bitch and i cant even get my contacts out cause i have long nails and im js poking my eye#AND SHE WOULD NEVER BE SORRY if our friendship fell apart she would tell everyone i was jealous of her gf or what ever i literally dont care#she was like an older sister before i dont get why getting a gf would have to change shit like ok good for u but what ab us#what about me its not even fucking fair like is it that hard to keep up w ur friends?? NO its fucking not#taking me so long to write a post bc im still fucking helping her with her stupid dumb selfish idiotic gf omfg#just BREAK UP i literally dont fucking care just leave her if she makes u unhappy its literally online tf is she gonna do to u nothing omfg#why am i the one being punished when shes the one with the stupid dumb gf that hates her and herself i dont fucking care i js want m friend#and i cant tell any of our mutual friends cause she dont do that to them its js me so itd be like im being dramatic#and like shit i guess i am but i dont care atp thats all she ever talks to me ab like ok i get it i helped u but stop jfc#but if i said that we'd never talk again bc what fucking ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cause im just dramatic whatever#if u cant resolve these simple problems of communication on ur own then maybe u shouldnt be in a relationship idk js my thoughts! die#sry the 1 person who knows what xactly i mean is asleep and im so tired of getting late night msgs being like hii can u help me SHUT UP#id love to help if we were actually still fucking friends but we arent so js leave me alone bruh#post#nickpost#will delete in morning my mom keeps telling me to put my phone down bt i need 2 say smfh 2 some1#i hate change i hate slight differences in my normal day to day i hate everything i hate not having smth to rely on i hate change i hate it#sry im alg now im js sick of her ass js leave bruh#nimbhe my moms yelling im tired anyway i need to js isolate myself forever no problems if im on an island alone#living my best life in the shade drinking idk water or whatever and just talking to myself bc who even needs friends right!!!!!!!!#its 11:11 make a wjsh#adding more cz whatever im deleting this ltr anyway#its so clear where i stand with everyone cause its always close but not close enough friendly but not friends and i guess its the same w her#bye im out of tags etc whatever nobody matching my freak ever never comfortable in any friendships
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feel free to explain in the tags!! sorry if this is like . a weird question and its just a me thing after all
#polls#trans#transgender#languages#langblr#this is such a specific ass question but its smth ive been thinking abt for months#i guess itd depends on when you learned your languages -- if you learned them parallel as a child or one as an adult mayb itd be the same#but mandarin for me is like The Childhood Language and child me was like . a completely different person#so in mandarin im fine w being called my feminine given name and 她 cause idk thats just me in mandarin#but i still use 他 primarily to reflect my current identity . so its sorta just in the middle
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I hate that I play 5+ string bass and am interested in high-end bass-only pedals so no store in this godforsaken city has any of them in stock for me to fool around on and I refuse to buy anything I haven’t played
#im so sad to learn my main axe is no longer sold anymore#because every review I’ve come across of it has been ‘the best affordable 5 string absolute bargain’#I paid $300 for it used and it sounds like it would cost at least twice that#unfortunately the only other 6 string esp itds are. unappealing to me#unless I splurge for a $1k+ bass and idkkkkkkkk#I looooove esp but….. I know Ibanez has some affordable models that look nice#but please just let me win this dingwall I got entered for I’m begging#or maybe I’ll go a different route entirely and get an epiphone sg or a entry level telecaster LOL
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