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fandom-imagines-stories · 2 years ago

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Watching on the News

Season Two Episode Three

Dr. Spencer Reid x Reader (Aaron Hotchner’s Sister)

Words: 4226

Series Masterlist

Summary: Spencer and Emily go undercover in a situation that quickly turns dangerous. The reader is forced to watch events unfold from back home.

Notes: I’m going to be going back and forth between moments from the actual episode and from the reader’s experience, so hopefully it won’t feel too jumpy. Also, I think I’ve decided to make the reader a criminal psychologist (or whoever does research and interviews into past crimes to help study new ones. They’ve done it on the show) but I don’t know everything about the job, so please don’t come after me for inaccuracies.

Warnings: Violence, depiction of a cult, mentions of SA (episode context), mild sexual content (just at the beginning)

For your last day in London, the two of you read A Study in Scarlet in St. James Park, thus beginning a new series for the two of you to continue back home. It would give you something to hang onto from the trip, as Spencer had said.

You couldn’t help the feeling of dread filling your chest as Spencer looked over the flight details at the desk. Your bags were packed and your tickets sat in front of Spence. It was over.

Time to go back to the wonderful world of hunting killers, interviewing psychopaths, and blood on your hands.

“Our flight is in the afternoon, so we should have plenty of time to get through security and everything,” Spencer said, eyes glued to the papers in his hand. He was all set and ready to get back, it almost made you angry.

You were not letting go of the escape so easily.

“Hey Spence.” You slipped your nightgown over your head.

“I know we had some issues last time, but this time we should be all good to go.”

You drew back the comforter, leaving only the very thin sheet covering you. “Spence.”

“We should be back in D.C. at approximately-”

“Spencer.” Your seductive tone mixed with aggressive frustration.

“What?” He turned his chair around and froze. His wide eyes started on your starkly covered body before quickly flicking up to your face.

You raised a brow. “Put the papers down, honey.”

“O-okay,” he squeaked and practically threw them aside, scrambling to join you.

This plane ride felt different from the others. Maybe it was because it was his first one back in the BAU jet, but he couldn't help but feel a slight sense of melancholy. Just two days ago, he was tangled up with you in London and now he was going to investigate a statutory rape allegation in a cult in Colorado.

Welcome back, Reid.

“You look like you’re a thousand miles away,” Prentiss teased from her seat across from him.

He gave her a small smile. “I guess my head is still on vacation a little.”

“I don’t blame you,” she laughed. “A romantic getaway, a bottle of good wine, good books, great hotel… I don’t know if I’d be able to tear myself away.”

“There was certainly some last minute celebrating,” he said, smirking.

She raised a brow. “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.”

The two agents laughed for a moment before letting themselves focus on the case at hand.

You, safe and sound on the ground, were trying to busy yourself with catching up on files. After everything that happened, you were afraid your application for licensure would be held up, but your boss, Sonia, said that everything should be on track.

She was still skeptical of sending you out for studies and interviews and had put your specific study on hold.

Sonia thought filicide was a little too close of a topic for you, especially now. So you were stuck on expert witness duty. Since your research institute was federally funded, you also worked as a federal prosecutor’s lackey for when they wanted a defendant assessed. It wasn’t that you minded the work, but you hated court rooms. You always had. Taking the stand against your mother didn’t exactly give you a good start with the court system.

Your eyes- tired from the countless documents you’d read all morning- were saved by your buzzing phone.

“Hey, Aaron.”

Your brother laughed at your sleepy tone. “Still a little jetlagged, huh?”

“That and I’ve got court duty for the foreseeable future,” you huffed. You glowered at the sound of his relieved sigh. “You don’t have to sound so happy about it.”

“Being an expert witness is a very important job,” he said defensively. “And it also means I won’t have to think about you being in locked rooms with murderers, alone, any time soon, so I’m sorry if I’m a little glad.” He chuckled.

You sighed. He was right. Damnit.

“Anyway, I’m better than Spence probably is right now. We’d barely even unpacked when you gave him the assignment. Where is it again? Colorado?”

“You know I can’t tell you that.”

“I know, but I’m nosy.”

He laughed. “He’ll be back soon.” Something about the dead air between you changed and you could feel his seriousness even before he spoke. “How are you feeling? Now that you’re back.”

“I’m fine, Aaron,” you said. “Really. I think getting away was exactly what we needed. Thank you for suggesting it and giving Spence the time off.”

“I just want to make sure that you’re adjusting okay-”

“We were gone for a week, not a decade,” you scoffed. “Seriously, there’s no adjustment. I’m fine. How about you? How are you feeling?” Two could play the game of incessant worrying. After all, you weren’t next to a car that exploded.

He sighed. “Y/N, I’m fine. I’ve been cleared to fly and the headaches have all but stopped.”

“And I’m sure that’s all because of your taking things easy, right?” You snarked. Using work to avoid your problems was a trait the two of you had perfected. Suddenly, the files in front of you seemed like a happy distraction. “Actually, I have to go. I have so many cases to look through.”

Aaron sighed. “Alright, I’ll let you go then. We should grab lunch sometime this week. You can tell me all about your trip.”

You bit the cap of your pen. “Well… not all about the trip.”

“Y/N, please,” your brother groaned.

“Sorry, I couldn’t resist.” Happy to hang up on a lighter mood, you said your goodbyes and he got back to work. You answered another call coming in. Colorado number. “Hello?”

“Hey, my phone died, but I wanted to let you know we got in okay,” the other voice said. “Oh, this is Spencer, by the way.”

You laughed. “I know what your voice sounds like, Spence.”

“What if someone was calling and imitating me to get you to trust them with your personal information?” He teased. Emily raised a brow at him and shook her head.

“I will definitely keep that in mind, Dr. Reid. Next time you call, you’d better be ready with some convincing statistics so I know it’s you.”

“Okay, um…” He thought for a moment. “American’s collectively receive around 2.4 billion spam calls a day. Which is why you should make sure it’s me.”

“Right, because you definitely sound like a robot, I get it now.”

“Hey,” he pouted. Nancy and Prentiss were both looking at him now. “Okay, I have to go. I’ll call when I can. I love you.”

“Love you too, Spence. Bye.”

Spencer handed the phone back to Nancy. “Thanks for letting me borrow it. I didn’t want her to worry.” She just smiled and nodded. He turned to Emily, who still shook her head. “What?”

She snickered. “You two are such dorks.”

The elevator couldn't move fast enough. The floor numbers ticked by, but you couldn’t hear anything over the sound over your heart.

As you stormed into the bullpen, Morgan was the first to see you. His welcoming smile was quickly replaced by concern, reading your expression.

“Turn on the TV,” you said.

JJ appeared beside you, phone at her ear and remote in her hand. The compound came onto the screen and you knew by the looks on their faces that you were right.

“Hotch!” Morgan yelled.

Aaron rushed out of his office, brows drawing together when he saw you. “Y/N, what are you-”

“Tell me that’s not him,” you cried. “Tell me they aren’t in there.”

His eyes shifted to the screen and his jaw tensed. “You can’t be here.”

“What happened? Where are they?”

“Everyone get ready to leave,” he ordered, not even looking at you anymore.

“Aaron!” You screamed. “Is Spencer okay? What is going on?”

Fiery eyes snapped back to your face. “Go. Home. Y/N.” You knew that the urgency of his voice was out of panic, not of anger, but you couldn’t move. You were frozen in place, as if your blood had been replaced by frigid, stinging ice.

You turned your head back to the TV.

“Though no one knows for sure how many people are inside,” the newscaster said, “It is believed at least three of the child service members are still trapped within the compound.”

You couldn’t hear anything after that.

Emily and Spencer were trapped- assuming they were still alive. State police had already been killed.

“Oh God,” you put a hand over your mouth to silence the cries threatening to escape. Just three days ago, he was reading Sherlock Holmes to you in the park and now he could be…

“Y/N,” JJ said softly. She put a hand on your shoulder to usher you towards the door. “Hotch is right. You need to go home so we can go figure all of this out.”

“What if they’re-” you couldn’t say it. “I was supposed to get coffee with Emily this week. Spencer and I’s anniversary is in a few weeks. We were going to- God, I sound so stupid. They’re in a gunfight and I’m worried about coffee.”

Derek joined the two of you, his go-bag in hand. “Maybe I should give you a ride home.”

You shook your head. “No, I’ll be fine. You guys need to get going.”

“Y/N, you aren’t thinking straight-”

“I said I’m fine, Morgan,” you snapped. You’d never used his last name like that before. It made you sound like your brother. You turned your desperate gaze back to JJ.

She gave you a helpless attempt of a reassuring nod. “I’ll update you as much as I can, okay?” But even you knew, there wasn’t much she could say to you.

You’d never wished to be part of the team before but now, just the chance of having more information, made you yearn to be getting on that plane.

You weren’t the only one in the dark.

Reid and Prentiss stood in the tunnel amongst the women and children who didn’t understand that they’re entire way of life was coming to an end. Reid watched their faces while Prentiss kept her eyes on the men with the guns.

Nancy was dead. She was shot by one of the state police during the gunfight. Spencer caught a glimpse of Cyrus’ men carrying her body into one of the other rooms. Emily put a hand on his arm.

“We’re going to be okay.”

He frowned. “I know. They’ll start negotiations soon.” One of the men eyed him and he tried to remain as calm as possible, but not too calm. Reid and Prentiss may not have known about the raid, but now they had to convince these people that they had nothing to do with it.

The only thing keeping him together was the thought of you watching on the news. The media must have gotten a hold of the situation by now and it wouldn’t take you long to connect the dots. He wished he could just have one phone call, one word to let you know that he and Emily were okay. As long as he could hold through to get back to you, everything would turn out okay.

He didn’t want to think about what could happen if Cyrus found out who they really were.

Thou shalt not bear false witness against your neighbor. Exodus 20:16

He shouldn’t have felt relieved. A woman who reached out for their help was dead. But a wave of reluctant relief washed over the whole team when Cryus said the name Nancy Lunde.

Prentiss and Reid were alive- given that Cyrus was telling the truth.

Hotch ran a hand down his face. Rossi prepared to take in food with bugs hidden so they could listen to the group’s activity. He also planned to check and see that the women, children, and their team members were okay.

Morgan walked over. “Hotch, this is gonna be all over the news.”

“I know.”

“Y/N is going to be watching.”

The supervisory agent’s expression remained the same. “I know.”

Morgan narrowed his eyes. “You don’t think it’s a good idea to tell her anything?”

“I can’t give out information to someone who has nothing to do with this operation.”

“Nothing to do with it?” Morgan exclaimed. “You have to know this is killing her right now. Maybe we could just-”

“We cannot jeopardize this,” he said firmly. Hotch’s eyes softened as he pictured your face from this morning. “Even if it means Y/N has to wait.”

He understood Morgan’s concerns. For the past few months, you’d been trying to get control of your life back and now this? But they couldn’t break protocol, lest the wrong information fall into the wrong hands. They couldn't risk it.

Still, he couldn’t help but want to comfort that scared girl he knew was crying out somewhere inside of you.

Back in D.C. you went into work to distract yourself, but you were glued to the television in the lounge, awaiting any sort of news regarding the stand off at the compound. Sonia brought you a cup of coffee and sat on the sofa across from you.

“You look awful for someone who just came off vacation.”

You checked your watch and sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. “I’m sorry. I haven’t done anything today. I just… I have to keep watching.”

The newscaster returned, still standing over the compound like a dog finding buried bones.

“Is that that Colorado thing?” Sonia asked.

You gulped and nodded. You listened to the journalist and felt your heart stop. Sonia put a hand on yours.

“What is it?”

“Son of a bitch,” you exclaimed, running a hand down your face.

“What?”

“This idiot just told them that there’s an FBI agent inside with them.” Hot tears pooled in your eyes, the burden of not-knowing weighing heavily in your features. Sonia made the connection.

She laid a hand on her chest. “Oh Lord.”

You stood up, body shaking from the agonizing mix of grief and rage rushing through you. Your breathing turned shallow and stinging and your hand wrapped around your throat as if you could soothe the burning cries from the outside.

If those people in the compound had access to the news, then Spencer and Emily were as good as dead. And there was nothing you could do about it.

Spencer stared at his hands. Prentiss sat across from him as they both waited. Something was wrong.

Cyrus stormed in, followed by another one of his men with a large gun. “Which one of you is it?” He asked.

They both looked at him blankly.

“Which one of you is the FBI agent?”

Prentiss’ mouth fell open, her eyes darting over to Reid.

“Why do you think one of us is an FBI agent?” Spence asked. He hoped the nerves in his tone would sound more like fear than panic.

Cyrus’ glare honed in on the young agent’s face. “God will forgive me for what I must do.” He took the gun in his hand, cocked it, and aimed it right at Reid’s forehead.

Spence kept his body calm while his heart raced beyond comprehension. “I don’t- I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“One of you does,” Cyrus said. “Who is it?”

Emily watched the thoughts behind Spencer’s eyes. Wondering what he would miss if he died now. What would happen to you? To his mom? If Cyrus killed him, what would he do to her?

She thought of you and what this would do to you- if you survived it. With the fragile state everyone knew you were in, Emily wondered how much longer you could pretend to be fine. And if something happened to Reid…

Most of all she thought of the sweet, brilliant agent staring down death in front of her. This man she’d grown to love over the years of working together.

Her friend.

She spoke without hesitation. “It’s me.”

A tense silence fell over them.

Cyrus lowered the gun. Spencer stared at her in fearful disbelief.

The cult leader grabbed her by the hair and she cried out. Without a word, Spencer was forced to watch Cyrus drag Emily out, with only her reassuring glance to say their possible goodbyes.

It was hours before he saw her again. Cyrus gathered everyone in the chapel.

Her face was bloodied and bruised and the minute he laid eyes on her, he felt every blow as if it had been dealt to him. It made every lie he told, every sympathy he faked, cut his tongue like a knife.

Emily felt his big, puppy dog eyes on her face and kept her voice level.

“It’s not as bad as it looks.”

“I’m so sorry,” his voice cracked.

It should have been him. He should have said something, told Cyrus that he lied and she didn’t know anything. Maybe he would have just shot him. When he was staring down that gun, all he could think was how scared he was and if he would ever see you again and what would happen to his mom.

He didn’t say anything and his friend got hurt.

Both agents could sense something was coming. Cyrus was too calm. He negotiated a surrender at noon and told the others to make sure the press was there.

This was his final stand.

Outside, the other members of the team prepared for a raid.

Aaron stood, watching the compound with a darkness hanging over him. He couldn’t help but feel the sinking claws of failure and guilt weighing into this shoulders. His team was in danger and he put them there.

The sound of Prentiss’ breaking voice repeating the same phrase would haunt him.

“I can take it.”

She reminded him of you. Your willingness to take whatever punishment life dealt you and refusing to ask for help. Emily took every punch because she wouldn’t give up on the women and children still in there.

Out of the corner of his eye, Aaron saw Dave approach him.

“I know I can’t go in there,” he sighed. His attachment to the agents inside extended beyond their professional relationships and he couldn’t let that risk the rescue.

Dave nodded. “I’m going.”

“If something happens to Prentiss or Reid, I…” He turned to the other agent. “I don’t know.”

“You’re not alone.”

Hotch held his phone in his hands, your contact pulled up. “I don’t know if I’d have the heart to tell her. She’s been through so much already and this would-”

“Well you don’t have to worry about that,” Dave assured him. “We’re going to go in there and get them back. The only phone call you’ll have to make is to tell her that Prentiss and Reid are okay.”

Hotch put his phone back in his pocket. “I hope you’re right.”

He was running out of time. Cyrus had the remote in hand. They had guns pointed at his friends outside. The women and children should be getting out now, but if he wanted any chance of surviving this, he had to try and talk the leader down. Spence did the only thing he could think of.

Use their belief.

“Jeremiah 29:11 ‘I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to bring you hope and a future,” he said. “Is blowing yourself up part of the prosperous future God wants?”

Cyrus stormed across the chapel to him, holding his gun to Spencer’s chest. “You think you know the word better than I?”

“No. I’m just demonstrating that you can use the Bible to manipulate anything.”

“Matthew 10:24,” Cyrus started. “‘Do not suppose that I have come to the Earth to bring peace. I did not come to bring peace but a sword.’”

He took the butt of his gun and swung it into Spencer’s stomach.

“The devil knows how to read, too.” Charles’ words and Tobias’ voice echoed in his head while the pain shot up his torso.

He doubled over.

Cyrus stared down at him. “You cannot convert my brothers.”

He hit him again, the ache spreading until he couldn’t stay on his feet anymore. Spencer collapsed in front of Cyrus and looked up at the man holding the means of his death. Was this it? Either shot by a crazed leader or blown to bits in his final message to the world.

He never got to introduce you to his mom.

Cyrus held the remote- the means of their destruction- in his hand like it was the means of his redemption.

“No one had to follow,” he mused. “God could have stopped me.”

Two men burst through the chapel door, the first shooting Cyrus’ follower and Morgan firing into Cyrus’ chest. The man crumpled to the ground, dropping the remote beside him.

Reid sat up. “He just did.”

Across the country and two hours in the future, you waited.

The television screen lit up the dark living room. You sat on the couch, knees to your chest, arms around your legs and eyes red and watering from staring at the TV light.

When the explosion overtook your vision, you’d cried all of the tears you had. You didn’t even have the energy to scream. Instead, a hoarse, choking cry tore through your aching throat.

Who was still inside? Did anyone make it out?

You sunk off the couch and onto the floor.

They were in there.

Everyone you loved up in flames.

Spencer.

Emily.

Aaron.

Derek.

Dave.

Six lost all over again.

A shaking hand reached to turn off the TV, leaving you in darkness.

The plane, though quiet, had Spencer’s head screaming. One question haunted him over and over again.

If he couldn’t protect Emily from Cyrus, how was he supposed to protect you from yourself?

He pretended to bury himself in a book, but his mind wouldn’t let him process any of the words. He didn’t notice Prentiss sit across from him until she spoke.

“Hey.”

He mouthed ‘Hi’ but nothing came out. He didn’t know what else to do, so he returned his gaze to the book, too pained to see the bruises on her face.

Prentiss put her hands on his and lowered them, forcing him to look at her. “I need you to listen to me,” she spoke softly and firmly all at once, like a big sister comforting a little boy. “What Cyrus did to me was not your fault. It was my decision and I would do it again.” Her tone lightened. “Do you hear me?”

He managed a small, confirming smile, even if he was still having a hard time convincing himself.

Her thumb soothingly rubbed the back of his hand. “Thank you.” The two settled into their seats and he continued reading. Emily’s eyes widened with a concerning thought. “Have you called Y/N?”

“Hmm?”

“Reid, the raid and the explosion were all over the news,” she said. “Does Y/N even know we’re alive?”

He scrambled for his cell. “Someone had to have called her… right?” Prentiss shrugged, anxiously awaiting the call. He dialed your number.

It rang three times before you picked up.

“You’re okay,” you said breathlessly.

“I’m so sorry- I should have called sooner, but everything has been so crazy and they made me get checked out by the paramedics because I almost blew up- but you already knew that. I just wanted to call and see how you were doing and make sure that you were okay,” he rambled.

You laughed, but he could tell there wasn’t any humor in your voice. “It’s okay, Spence. JJ called me and filled me in already. I figured you would call when you could.”

He glanced up at Prentiss and mouthed ‘JJ told her.’ “Okay, I’m glad someone kept you updated. Everything has been… well, I’ll tell you when I get back I guess.” He exhaled, the memories of panic and fear of never seeing you again starting to be replaced by thoughts of holding you and falling asleep beside you. “I can’t wait to get home.”

A smile teased the corner of your lips. “I’ll be waiting for you.”

“You should get some sleep,” he said. In D.C. it was almost the time you usually woke up for work, but he knew that you probably hadn’t slept at all since the story first hit the news. He always worried when you didn’t take care of yourself.

“Only if you promise to get some rest on the plane,” you replied.

“Okay, I will.” Just hearing your teasing tone made his heart feel lighter. You sounded like your usual self. Maybe he didn’t need to be so worried. You were always the stronger one. “I love you and I’ll see you soon.”

“I love you too, Spencer. Goodnight.”

You set your phone down on the smooth wooden surface. You wrapped your fingers around your glass and poured the remaining bronze liquid down your throat. Your chest warmed. This was a familiar burn. A welcome relief.

Emptying the glass, you set it back on the bar and ordered another drink.

The In-Betweens series: @amywright; shesoperfectt; hereforsmutbcicantgetenough; violetbossler; hyper-half-blood; i-bitch-you-bitch; xcastawayherosx; preciousbabypeter; @jori21; @sol-48; @murdermornings ; @ staygoldsquatchling02

#criminal minds #criminal minds imagines #dr. spencer reid x reader #dr. spencer reid #aaron hotchner #emily prentiss #david rossi #the in betweens #criminal minds imagine series #minimal loss #criminal minds season four #derek morgan #penelope garcia #jennifer jareau #matthew gray gubler

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bagheerita · 5 months ago

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finally finished DS9 and decided to post some thoughts in one big blob

I was honestly about to give up on season 7 and put the rest of this show to the side for a few months, but then Ezri and Worf have a 3 episode arc sorting out their relationship, only talking to each other because they're marooned/imprisoned, and I was so charmed by them being loud and messy that I managed to bull my way through to the end. I love the two of them as friends, they are adorable.

I actually really like Damar and his arc, and it’s pretty rare I say that about a character who killed my favorite.

I feel like the reason Section 31 exists, and they keep forcing episodes about it upon me, is because they wrote themselves into a corner with inventing the changeling disease to kneecap an unbeatable enemy and didn’t know how else to fix it/end the war except with secret secret spies.

Ezri has this whole speech she gives to Worf about dismantling structures of power and I feel like they needed to end the show before anyone was like, hey the Federation kind of sucks and we should definitely do that.

Garak’s mom showed up and everything was good in the world again.

Ezri and Julian are like “can’t deny the chemistry.” lol babes that's called being a young attractive allosexual. "Chemistry" is what Worf and O'Brien have in all the scenes where they're mocking you.

I’ve never felt the truth of the phrase “I support women’s wrongs” so intensely as I do with Kai Winn. I love her and I want to give her everything. I didn't love her getting assaulted by Dukat, but when she knows everything that's happening and chooses the pah-wraiths anyway, yes fuck it up. When she poisoned Dukat I was like, hot damn if this character dies as a footnote in someone else's quest for power I will forgive everything that this show has put me through because of him. But we can't have nice things. I did like that her last act was to choose to take their victory from them, and give Sisko the clue he needed to beat them.

I do love Martok but I feel like he’s going to be about as good a chancellor as Robert Baratheon was a king.

Odo is The Last Unicorn, but with brain-melding: he’s going to share his experience of loving a mortal with the other immortals. I still don’t “get” him and Kira as a couple, their relationship literally went from -20 to 100% after a single all night conversation locked in Jadzia's bathroom and no actual onscreen development, but at least I believe that they believe they’re in love.

Why the ever loving fuck is Julian so obsessed with the Alamo. Every time they bring it up I want to grab him and Miles and shake them. I get that it's supposed to be some sort of metaphor for fighting a hopeless war, but really? You want to go up to the fake room where you can do/be literally anything and you're going to repeatedly reenact a battle where you die to defend your right to have slaves and practice settler colonialism??? Even in the last episode they’ve won the real war and they’re still obsessed with reenacting this old battle. They also spend that one episode trying to figure out how to win the Alamo… babes, that actually happened: it’s called the Battle of San Jacinto- learn some actual fucking history, your side won the war. This isn’t about metaphors anymore, the metaphor has failed, now Julian just has a neurosis.

The Dominion War plot line goes on for way too long and there is so little internal emotional catharsis. (Maybe because for me the things that were supposed to be cathartic just induced more rage? 🤔) The ending was fine as far as character wrap ups but felt pretty rushed considering how long it took us to get to this point, and I really think they needed more time to handle the denouement. The overall pacing of the episodes/seasons is terrible: you wasted like a season and a half puttering around, with whole episodes where you forgot to mention the war; you added in mirror-verse episodes without bothering to use them for story or character development; Quark is one of my favorite characters but there are too many episodes about Ferengi shenanigans that do not impact the actual plot; there are whole scenes and arcs dedicated to a character who does not (within the internal logic of the show) exist. And then you slammed all the development into the last half of the last season. I'm not surprised now that I forgot this entire show after watching it while airing because it’s emotionally exhausting. I've compared DS9 to SGA in the past, but the Dominion remind me of the Ori: You've killed the enjoyment I found in this show and have made it a chore to watch.

I do like that what ends the war is Julian’s determination and Odo’s compassion. You've proven the Founders wrong, but this entire plot thread was so poorly handled that I don't know that anyone remembers one mention from four seasons ago about why this war even started and, honestly, standing on a planet where you just murdered millions of children it's kind of not enough. I like that they let Garak kill the last Weyoun, and I adore the scene where he lets Kira take the phaser, but honestly he deserved more. It wouldn't solve anything, and I think there's a nice parallel in Garak's fears inspiring him into attempting genocide being incredible grounded in reality and the Founder's similar fears being negated, but he deserves it, the head Founder deserves to be torn into tiny pieces by grieving Cardassians, and I deserve to watch it. (I also desperately want Garak to find out about Section 31 and the changeling disease just so he can be like, "Oh so when I try to commit genocide I get 6 months in jail, but when the Federation wants to commit genocide that's okay?")

I don’t know who on the production team is so invested in Mark Alaimo getting a paycheck, but by the end Dukat as a character has long outlived any interesting qualities he may have had at one point. The final battle shit with the pah-wraiths was pretty underwhelming; except for the deeper exploration of Winn's motives that this season has allowed for, "The Reckoning" was such a better structured episode. (At least at this point they've let Kira go off and be awesome without being forced into episodes with Dukat. The sheer amount of abusive old men sexually attracted to much younger women in this show is frankly unnecessary; I will never be able to unhear Curzon say he flunked Jadzia from the symbiont program because he wanted to bang her, and Dukat’s relentless pursuit of Kira especially/even after we learn he sexually assaulted her mother is disgusting.)

I have mixed feelings about Sisko, and his character having a “white savior” role with the Bajorans. Like, I guess it’s a cool twist that he’s a black white savior, maybe that's the best the 90s can do, but also can we decide to not write stories where we give foreigners positions of power over recently subjugated peoples?? I was feeling pretty yikes about it especially after the beginning of this season and learning that he was basically genetically bred by the Prophets for the position, but… I dunno, I’m probably not someone who can or should have a deep opinion about this. I do like that arc for him as a character outside of what it means for the Bajorans, but his ending feels too open. I wish we got to know more about what he learns from hanging out with the Prophets, and I wish that the great "sorrow" he suffers from disregarding the visions felt more concrete. Kassidy is really the only one sad about this, Sisko seems excited to exist outside of time. (And I feel like a lot of the "yikes" of the character could have been fixed by making the character be Bajoran? You wouldn't need to invent a reason why he was chosen by the Prophets. He could even have been raised on Earth and still have those ties, and I think it would have made the pull between his duty as an officer and his duty as the Emissary more interesting. Also can you imagine if Jake and Ziyal were both half Bajoran and hanging out with each other??? But they don't pay me to write shows.)

Why do Miles and Julian have the gayest final montage? It's literally the first of the montages and they start it up over "The Way You Look Tonight" and I was just like... wtf did I accidentally put in a fan video? Miles is the only person in a relationship who has a montage without any mention of their significant other, though I guess Worf's does jump from his first meeting with Sisko straight to season 5 clips so they didn't mention Jadzia either. I love that Miles and Julian have such a deep friendship, and I feel like this show could use more interrogation of the concept of love and the fact that platonic love/friendship is just as important as romantic love, but the production has spent so much time "no homo"ing every relationship they can think of that it just comes off as bizarre.

All the bts things I’ve read about this show pretty much amount to the production being like “we had no idea what we were doing with this character” which, when combined with the failure to manage season structure and some of the utterly bonkers episodes this show threw out there, leads me to believe that pretty much anything I enjoyed about this show comes from the actors. This is definitely a show I feel like I’m going to be “rewatching” through fanfiction and gif sets before I ever rewatch the entire show again.

#my star trek (re)watch #lol if anyone's interested in my thoughts on a 20 year old show #deep space nine #spoilers #just in case #i now have to go read 4 pages of fics i've been saving in my 'marked for later' list that were tagged as 'post canon' ❤

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invinciblerodent · 9 months ago

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1) Will your OC get married and with who? 2) Will they have any children? What are their names?

OC Ask Game!

I think I’m gonna go on for a long (long, long, LONG) time about Iona, and mention the others kind of as a footnote, because I think Iona’s answers to these are just… the ones that are most interesting to me, lol

(fair warning looking back, this got PROFOUNDLY away from me- the TL; DR of it is that for Iona marriage is "yes, eventually" and kids are "no, never", for Arvid marriage is a "yes, of course, sure" and kids are "well if you want it", and for Petyr both are "hah! no. nope. no.")

So, this whole “what now” issue in Iona’s case, it’s… all a bit muddled.

As a little background to it, in 3e, it’s said that courtships between elves often take a very long time, sometimes decades, before a commitment is reached- which is understandable, especially considering that elves are also said to seldom fall out of love with one another, and don’t typically remarry after the death of one spouse. A commitment that’s meant to span a lifetime of centuries (whether the life of one has a natural endpoint or not is irrelevant), it makes sense that they’d take it seriously, and not jump into soul-bonds willy-nilly. (An albatross is definitely going onto her moodboard now, lol.)

I think both Iona and Astarion would still be kind of... feeling themselves out, by the end of the game, and neither of them would be drawn to the thought of “blissful mutual domesticity” just yet.

I mean, on top of being a quite young elf, she’s spent a good 80% of her life among humans: her experience with life is colored by the perceptions of a people who are constantly trying to outrun the rushing of a clock that might as well be standing still for her. So exploring what time even means to her, that’d be a very exciting prospect. While Astarion, he was even younger than she is now when he had the “elven” part of his identity taken away from him, only to be made into someone that’s seen as a tool first, monster second, and person a distant third. He’s eager to re-learn personhood and live again, so they’re both sort of… (re-?)discovering themselves and their “feyness” together, and in each other.

My little idea is that after the Brain’s defeat, they’re going to spend one or two decades on solo adventuring: primarily looking for a way to allow him to walk in the sun again, but that… proves itself to be something of a wild goose chase. The travel itself is annoyingly cumbersome (either they have to shelter during the day and cover no ground, or he has to be polymorphed and be both unable to communicate and practically defenseless [can’t risk fighting, if his form is dismissed he’s dead]). But also, there are just… too many disappointments. Too many dead ends. Too many times they’ve gotten too close only to find out that they were either late, or misled, or just plain wrong about something.

I think he’d grow frustrated with it first, and grow reckless: strain against his limits, start pushing his luck with the Sun, start making dangerous mistakes, and it’d be her who’d start gently encouraging (cajoling, bargaining, eventually pleading with-) him that maybe they should return to the Gate. To regroup, try to find other avenues, head off in a different direction. And while he'd know she's right, agreeing… it'd still feel like he’s admitting defeat.

Of course, he’d try to put on an unbothered face, but she would still obviously be able to tell that he’s upset: primarily with himself, but also a little bit with… everything. Of feeling both free and trapped, both bursting with the desire to DO something, but also being… powerless.

Which (stay with me, we're a third of the way!) is the context in which the thought of kids and “marital bliss” would rear its ugly head.

Because I headcanon that vampire spawn are naturally sterile. (I know full vampires can sire mortal offspring, but since spawn can’t create new vampires via bite and the bite is almost always a penetration-allegory, I like to think that translates to them being just… unable to reproduce, period.) And elves in general already have far lower fertility rates, so even if he wasn’t sterile because of the vampirism but just maybe less fertile than usual, the chances of conception between the two of them would still be infinitesimally small.

And I mean, the topic really wouldn’t come up naturally, so I think Astarion would likely think that she’d eventually want children. I mean, he knows very well that she had been previously married to a human- humans usually want kids, so it’d be a natural assumption that she’d be on the same page as her ex-husband, and the fact that she doesn’t have kids now wouldn't be for a lack of wanting. (It is. It is for a lack of wanting. But both of them being ~excellent~ [pejorative] at communicating, he definitely wouldn’t ask- if only for fear of the answer he thinks he'd get.)

So it'd kind of… eat at him, for a while, the thought that at some point, she might grow to resent him. There'd be a small, niggling part of his mind that'd worry that at some point, the limitations would all prove too much, and she’d grow frustrated, tired of always having to work with and around his… shall we say, conditions. Beyond his partial reliance on her pain and literal body for sustenance, the physical differences between them, and the messiness of healing (the times he startles awake screaming, the times he can’t bear even the thought of being touched, the times he’s frustrated with himself and takes it out on her), this is just one more thing.

He can’t take her out for a nice day in the city. He can’t warm her body at night, wine and dine her (or just share a meal like a regular person), or love her as brazenly as he did starting out, out on the street for all to see because… well, he can’t go out into the streets. Can’t even travel with her during the day, not without taking the shape of a stupid animal that can’t communicate with her, joke with her, or even delight her with the looks he had thought for so long were the only thing he was good for.

Though secure in her love of him, he’s not stupid, or an idealist who’d think that love alone is enough for a happily ever after. While enjoying the time while it lasts, naturally there’d be sort of a running tally in his head of all the ways their lives chafe against one another.

Watching her face grow paler and paler as she’s deprived of the sun and has her blood drained, he’d never quite stop wondering at what point is the scale going to tip, at what point she’d finally realize that she had bet on the wrong undead horse by choosing to love the vampire who asks her to sacrifice so much, and not only doesn’t want to, but isn’t even able to give her what (he thinks) she wants.

Which, she doesn’t want it, of course. She has not even one maternal bone in her body.

Iona is well aware that she would make a terrible mother, and she absolutely does not want to be one. So it wouldn’t even occur to her that this would be something on his mind on top of all else. When he’d be having his little personal crisis about this, she’d be busy trying to make the impossible happen and circumventing the need to find a way to give him back the Sun by inventing one herself. That’d be why she'd lock herself into her study alone for longer and longer periods of time, why she sometimes wouldn’t come out for days, why she'd sometimes steer the conversation away from certain things- she wouldn’t want to give him false hope in a project that’d quickly prove so far beyond her abilities.

But, she'd still obviously recognize his occasional bouts of melancholy- I mean, it’s very unusual for someone to look at another so fondly and happily one moment, and then get quiet and forlorn the next. That distance she'd see behind his eyes sometimes when she'd tell him she loves him, that’d be rather worrying to anyone.

It’ll take a while for this particular cat to work its way out of the bag, but it would happen eventually, of course.

In reality, none of that would bother her.

She delights in being the sole person deciding what, when, and how she wants to eat. She loves the coolness of his touch- it soothes the heat of the draconic blood running through her veins better than any balm. Sure, going to markets and doing all that domestic pish can be fun, but... well, she’s always been an indoorsy person. Being bitten is no burden (she wouldn’t offer if it was), and there being no risk of a pregnancy, even after the tadpole’s death? At the risk of sounding crass, that’s an incredible perk, with no downsides. Feeling him find his pleasure while buried deep inside her, with no pang of fear or worry? It’s absurd how perfect that is, how happy she is with the fact that with the man she loves, that fear of being impregnated against her will can be put completely to rest.

And the rest, the messiness, the less “pretty” parts of it all, the evenings spent soothing his pain that’s either real or real only to him, that’s… just what happens if you love someone. Sure, she worries of course, but even when it’s inconvenient, when it’s ugly, when the old scars feel like they’re on fire and she can’t even being to think of a way to help… she still loves him just the same.

So no, no children necessary. It’s not in the cards for them, and even if it was, I don’t think either of them would really want it, or be good at it.

... She’d probably like to overwrite the memories of her first marriage (and speak the word “husband” without rancor) though, but only eventually.

And I like to think that that’ll have to happen with an item I’m tentatively calling “Taran Tal’hondnor” (The Gift of True Love), and it’s an enchanted ring that she will finally be able to create after many years of study, and even more miserably failed attempts at creating an enchantment that’ll let a vampire walk in the sun.

I like to imagine her proposing to him, on her own terms this time, with one such gift.

Because she loves him to the point of invention.

Quickly on the others, Arvid… might like fatherhood, if he were so inclined. He’s a very caring, kind, nurturing person, and if he were to be in that position, he would probably be a very good dad. He’s generally in a nurturing role already, and Gale being in a teaching role, they could prove to be excellent parents, if that were what they wanted.

But they… probably wouldn’t want that. Gale being the age that he is (“canon” says 35, I see ~38-40, minor difference) and a human, yet saying that he’s “not ready”, I personally interpret that as a rather telling thing. His past of having spent such a long time in a "monogamous" (I'm fairly sure that part's one-sided, no time to go into that now) relationship with a goddess who had no intention of having kids with him, and his present willingness to be with an illithid who can’t, that to me is implying that it’s not something that’d be that important to him. Like I personally see that as him not actively preferring to have kids if it’s up to him (he likes peace, and quiet, and downtime, and a nice glass of wine with a quietly romantic evening meal- very much the quintessential childless millennial, 100% part of the appeal to me lol), but he’d be happily willing to do it if his partner wanted it themselves.

But in my world, his husband (I like how I skated by the first part of the question, I mean they already ARE married lol)… doesn’t really have such strong feelings about it either. So, since two "maybes" don’t make a "yes" (and for this kind of thing, you need two enthusiastic "yes"-es for it to no longer be a no), it’s a "no".

But I think their marriage is going to be very happy and fulfilling to both of them nevertheless. <3

And since I don't yet have any kissy-shots of them (☹️), have an "are you seeing this shit" silent exchange for these two <3

Honestly? I would sooner give a baby to a pack of feral wolves and hope for the best than have Petyr become a father. He'd absolutely be the kind of dad whose kids become DnD characters. He's someone's tragically emotionally distant boomer dad just waiting to happen. (I mean, come on. My guy felt inadequate once, and coped with it by fucking off to the woods for 20 years? Yeah, sure, father of the year.)

And Shadowheart, she basically didn't have parents growing up, she has a TON of cult indoctrination to process and unlearn as an adult, and -let's be real- likely has no fucking clue how motherhood would even really work. Like the woman whom she used to call "mother" pretty much straight-up tortured her. C'mon now.

I like to think that, though they are the only two in my lineup who are physically able to have kids by accident, they (with their 8 and 10 INT scores respectively) would still be smart enough to smell that particular disaster before they'd barrel into it head first, and either actively decide not to have kids, or put it off so far into the future as for it to be meaningless. Maybe the discussion can be tabled in a few decades' time, but since by then their home will be surrounded by, god, so many animals to take care of (including a barely not feral, adult owlbear) (and their mutual boyfriend who sometimes shows up for like a month to fuck nasty on every available surface of the house and surrounding wilds), I doubt it'll result in a resounding "yes".

In the same vein of things, if a big, beautiful, traditional wedding is something that she wants (which I... kinda doubt would be super important to her), she definitely bet on the wrong horse, because this guy is not one for pomp and circumstance.

I like to imagine that after their departure from the Gate (and their bidding of not exactly "farewell", but "see you later" to Halsin), he'll just... take her "home" to his little shack in his corner of the forest, and then, sitting under the canopy of his favorite woods, enjoying the balmy evening breeze and the undisturbed night sky with his favorite person, he'll look up at the moon, take her hand, and silently, in his head, give his thanks to the Moonmaiden for this peace.

And... that'll be it. From that point forward, it'll be easy to fall into a kind of sweet, quiet domesticity that is essentially a marriage in all but name.

I definitely like- and relate to the idea of them foregoing the "2.5 kids, white picket fence" idea of a happily ever after not out of a conscious rejection, but rather just by... being themselves. Together.

#hi this is 2.6k words #i sincerely apologize for i hopelessly run at the mouth #oc: iona raedir #oc: arvid trygg #oc: petyr wildbrook #squirrel plays bg3

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powwuten · 11 months ago

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might i ask what a globetrotter is?

Its a collection of music and art that contribute to a project that mostly exists in my head okay bye haha!

Oohhhh i got you there

ahem

“What is globetrotter?”

Globetrotter is a hypothetical maybe happening rpg that currently is having its story told through art, music, and possibly writing or a few comics in the future. It follows three silly little guys that I designed (and have been iterating on because I'm kinda inconsistent) for years now, named Ceridwen, Riice, and Mollam! If you didn’t notice, the first two have misspelled welsh names. What's the significance of them being welsh? There is none! For now! That's the nature of this whole project, really. A lot of the time things exist to be cool, though by the time they leave my head they’ve usually formed enough connective tissue to be a part of a wider story. I had the main protagonists, I had the main antagonists, and I had the themes I wanted to use…then bam! Three cursed individuals trying to defeat a group of time demons to release themselves from being born anew for eternity! Funny how that works!

“Wait so who are those guys in orange?”

in what

“sorry i meant orange”

oh! right!

Ceridwen and Riice are both coworkers at…!! Well honestly I haven’t deliberated on that fact much, but hey, the fact of the matter is they do science 👍👍. Work’s been a little harder after one of their labs got attacked though. Poor thangs. Wonder who did that.

In a world of demons and humans and angels sometimes, how would you categorize a man with a head made of teeth? Perhaps the best description is “cowboy”. Mollam’s the third party member of this trio, but he isn’t exactly enthusiastic about joining them. Strange premonitions are driving Mollam away from Ceridwen and Riice. Poor thangs. Wonder why that is.

“What do these guys look like!!” I hear you ask…and my answer?!?!

I don’t have reference sheets yet. oops. I’ll do it. 👍. I will also say that I didn’t cover their personalities in detail much, but applications speak louder than descriptions! I’ll start writing eventually and in that same vein i’ll start drawing eventually et cetera et cetera…!

“Why is globetrotter?”

Well, to be perfectly honest, to get right to the point, to be quick, to make things simple, in my experience, in the end, it all boils down to the fact that it's fun! It's fun and it’s good practice and I enjoy this world in my head and want to share it with people! plain and simple. im honestly not sure if this section even needed to be here tbh like yeah i like thing im making it i think thats how most things are made.

“Where is globetrotter?”

Primarily boiling in my mind

Secondarily sitting in dms with @marismoments39

Thirdarily out and about on soundcloud

Fourtharily on tumblr

Tumblr? What tumblr? Globetrotter tumblr! https://www.tumblr.com/globetrotterer to be exact! I kinda just made it recently so there isn't much there but hey keep your eyes on it. Seeing as I’ve approached this project across years and grown so much alongside it, it’ll take a bit for some concrete stuff to show up. I’ll do my best to even things out!

“How is globetrotter?”

awww you’re too nice. globetrotter is doing well, and you?

“Is this it?”

No!!!! Unless I die the moment I post this. Feel free to ask me whatever!!!!!

#powqut answers #globetrotter #did i explain well?? I hope so

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lawbyrhys · 4 months ago

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Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to reply! Okay, you had me there for a second. I’ve known quite a few people who have been deeply inspired to work in certain fields thanks to shows they’ve watched; that would’ve been completely plausible! I appreciate the self-awareness you have when it comes to your strengths and then using them to help others; very noble. A lot of people end up going their whole life without taking a look at themselves in any way. It’s refreshing! As for the money and status? Yes, both very trivial - especially in our totally not capitalistic society! lol You were a business major and you wrote that you had experience in the business field; was it studying the field or working in the field? Both? I suppose discovering what businesses and corporations can do in practice made you think screw that noise, so that’s when you made the pivot into law? I would ask more questions - about those trials you brought up, firms, possibly something else relating to law I can’t think of right now lol - but I don’t want to take up any more of your time. Maybe later on if you’re open to that! My questions were answered. And of course! Your passion for law is evident - that’s something I definitely support; it’s wonderful to see someone who loves what they do. I also have a natural curiosity about most things in life and you’ve piqued it with your posts!

Hey there! Thank you for your curiosity and for taking the time out of your own schedule to ask me questions and take an interest in my work. I really appreciate it. I understand the value of time, so when anyone gives me theirs, I really do appreciate it.

Now, to address the main body of your new ask.

TV shows aside, I really appreciate your kindness. We all have strengths, and I think it's a waste if we don't use them to better the lives of those who lack said strengths. I don't know if I'd call it noble—thank you, though—I just think it's the right think for each and every one of us to do.

As for my undergrad and business background, it's a little bit of both studying and working that inspired my specialization. Nothing caused me to pivot into law; law was always my end goal. I majored in business because I thought it'd help my practice, though, which it has, even though it's not imperative to major in something related to law in your undergrad. I know many fantastic attorneys who majored in arts. It did help me make my decision in a way, though, because I realized I did want to do my part in keeping shit on the right path. In my work, I've found that corporations will say "fuck you" to anybody and everybody—the exception being lawyers. It's us who are on the side of the law, working to protect both sides from the seedy bullshit.

You can ask me any questions you'd like, and I'll answer them as soon as I get the chance. Again, I really appreciate the curiosity and care, so I'll never be offended in any way by any questions. I welcome curiosity; that's why I'm on Tumblr. I am definitely open to it, so please bring it on!

Thank you! That's really kind of you. Again, that's why I'm here—I love sharing my expertise with the world, and my passion for the law is something I can't contain. I'm thrilled to read that I piqued your interest, so if you have any more questions or comments, let me know.

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justhereforqsmp · 2 years ago

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The French have arrived on the island. The Binary code situation is getting dire. There’s an adorable new egg named Pomme. And now it’s time for me to um. Spout some nonsense about what might be next. > u o it’s what I do best!!

Ok. Given the arrival of Pomme, of Richarlyson, of the binary attacks getting more and more overwhelming, dangerous, and unfair— I feel like at this point the eggs are more than just a one off arc or event, especially if new groups will come with more eggs. I don’t think that the egg arc will end in the way we think: with all the eggs just dying and then just being gone forever.🤔 maybe I’m wrong, but I think there’s another option here. And even if it does happen this way the eggs are pretty much immortalized in the streamers’ memory and in our hearts—like how Maxo has dedicated his search to find answers to his huevo, so even if they are gone their absence will still be felt in the story— unless some in roleplay memory altering thing happens I very much doubt everyone will just… move on.

(Of course, while I love the egg shenanigans, I completely understand that some streamers don’t prefer it, and I also recognize that the streamers without eggs/who dislike the eggs may feel a little left out by the collective server going-ons. I really hope that the server reaches a point where not everything is eggs and other players not as involved with the eggs feel comfortable returning to play regularly … but I also hope that the eggs stick around and still influence the story, yeah? They just seem real important, and the admins who play them bring wonderful life to their characters, and it’d be a shame to lose that. Also it provides in-roleplay translation and someone to talk to in their own language if other streamers aren’t on, which are both really practical things.)

I think they’re going to have to uncover the secrets of the island to “move past” the egg arc, and probably whatever shift happens will change things irreparably going forward, like HUGE HUGE reveals, recontextualizing a lot of stuff we were confused about earlier and clearing up some of the confusing things about the island. I think we’re going to have to get that keypad to the spooky hallway.

(Disclaimer: this 100% might be copium from me lol bc I really want a happy ending… but right here I’m placing my trust in the QSMP admins and team to create a good story and balance the stakes. I believe even if the extreme attachments to the eggs were said to be unintentional there must be SOME change in the plan to accommodate them because they’ve become so beloved and so ingrained into the gameplay)

-> I believe in them because clearly there’s a lot hidden underneath the surface, how deep and well-planned and well thought out the QSMP ARG is

-> clearly they see and recognize the reactions to the eggs from the fanbase and the players, especially the admins who play them.

-> although the players don’t get much information about the events or their situation, there is still communication between the players and the admins through tickets, dms, etc etc. i think if the mental strain of losing eggs is too potent the streamers will speak up, and they will definitely accommodate.

I think that as the true, artificial/experiment nature of the island reveals itself, I think things will get a whole lot more violent, and a lot of eggs will lose their last life. It’s gonna be the darkest hour. My heart will hurt. In between we will probably have breaks to let the French establish themselves, but underlying the fluff will be a potent sense of dread and possibly grief. At the same time, with SOFIA and the mysterious man, the parabolic satellite, the QSMP and the players will pool together all their resources to figure out this island as quick as they can and escape with the eggs still living.

BUT ALSO I think the all the eggs aren’t truly dead and gone, and we’ll we will get to see tilin and trump and juanaflippa again— after all they got the 5 minutes in the SLIDING DOOR ROOM felps was put in somehow, and I don’t think felps is dead, or that room functions like a true heaven. It’s literally in a basement and has been shown to be abandoned once before, and is connected to the hallway systems underneath the island. And juanaflippa was revived through the trial, so clearly the Federation has some sort of control over the “aliveness” or “deadness” of the eggs. Basically what I’m hoping for is that there’s still hope XD

I think the eggs are as artificial as the island (they are so real in emotion and personality and bonds with their parental units though) but that also means that their deaths could be artificial too!! (the letters with the Faberge eggs?? Idk if anyone else saw that but there were a series of lore letters related to the QSMP that people translated online and they’re very interesting) If they’re not like humans, perhaps they can be REPAIRED through special means, or maybe deaths from the binary code CORRUPTS instead of kills them and they can be uncorrupted??

I think very cool stuff is going to happen, not sure what happens in the middle here but I’m excited for it. I think the experiment/simulation will break apart as more people are added/ the main rebellers rebel and find out more of the secrets. Quackity has hinted at a hard future and many things still in store.

I am SO SO curious as to what is going in, but i think there’s an opportunity for the dragon eggs to survive/come back/be revived/finally hatch and just become regular NPCs instead of ones with limited lives, since that is the source of most of the stress. That way they can still be around while not being as stressful. In my perfect world they become little dragon hybrid players that have a dragon form and still speak in signs and everyone can still hang out. 🥺

and then way way wayyyy in the future, end of the server kind of thing, while the eggs don’t really get to leave QSMP as they are admins, i think the true goodbye when the vacation ends and the players finally escape the island and the dragons grow up and fly away maybe and it’ll be super duper sad and bittersweet.

This has been a long post LOL, but basically the gist of it is i think there’s still hope, and I am SUPER DUPER curious as to what’s happening behind the scenes, and the secrets we have yet to find.

#long post #so long lol sorry #qsmp #qsmp theory #qsmp predictions #long ramblings

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granulesofsand · 11 months ago

Text

Today I spent three (3) hours sewing, and as a result I have Thoughts.

🗝️🏷️ religion, spirituality, mild RAMCOA mentions

I’ve been considering whether we could make our faith practices truly healthy; not relying on deities and the supernatural to save us. Shifting away from attach cry dominating our spirituality.

We’ve formed a few pathways in different directions.

A number of our religious alters have decided that they don’t believe in their gods as they were taught to, and that they want to pursue the more abstract concepts of those gods while they learn to set boundaries within the existing power dynamic.

Another set of less programmed alters are figuring out what their relationships look like with various creatures they consider interactive. For them, it’s the expansion of knowledge on top of the experiences they’ve already accumulated to understand what goes on and how they’d like to tweak their traditions.

We also have a good number of alters who have long held positions as legends and authorities. A lot of the ones that were formed for the role fit the Floater type; they were around during programming, saw everything and know a lot about the system and its workings.

Trauma holders also have moved up in status to gain the kind of influence the Floaters have.

I’m wondering about that last one. How we can keep the symbolism of internal rankings and have that be neutral or beneficial toward our goal of freedom.

Most of them are hands-off. They didn’t used to be — the ones that the group didn’t know about, they’ve played with structures as if they were mischievous spirits.

Our handlers knew more than our programmers, when those were different people. They taught us to number ourselves by ‘power’. Only the low numbers — the best of us — and those who aspire to become them really know their numbers. They’re fast-changing for most of us.

The lowest number I’ve ever seen is 5. They’re like Laplace’s demon, they knew everything once and so they know everything forever. I don’t imagine that works externally, but they’re never wrong and they never lie.

That one has followers in various positions who trust him with their lives; not to keep them alive, to decide their fates. He isn’t good, but his cruelty is much the same as the sea.

Power has strange definitions, too. Above 5 is 4, who is not strong. They are protected, helpless because they are helped. I know him as angry, nothing further.

Some gods are powerful because we decided they were and it was so. Trauma holders who became gods are like that. They were so much more than the rest of us, so of course they were powerful.

They are also taught how to treat others, inside and out, because they are alters too. It seems like they already know, and reckoning with their existence is confounding. Navigating them requires us to look into spiritual plurality.

Our library has books about alters who think themselves nonhuman in this way, and those books reflect the ones we read externally. Maybe I just need more time for it to sink in, but I can’t justify them being only alters any more without believing all faith illegitimate.

Not all of them are like that. I know many of those lot are of our system in their entirety, or else are sourced from external reality. It’s the few who go beyond both.

I don’t see a means for this to harm outsiders as much as ourselves by feeding into those dynamics and old beliefs, so I linger only where I can make change. I will resolve our problems without seeking to fix them. They are okay as they are.

I am trusting our system will make progress in due time where we need to. That which comes will not be turned away, but I will not push where I am not invited. It’s okay for them to just be. It’s okay.

#trauma recovery #cdd system #adaptive system #spiritual plurality #did osdd #osddid #ec did #hc did #ramcoa #tw ramcoa

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blupengu · 1 year ago

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All righty I’ve finished science brofist’s route and that means more rambling! (Seriously though everyone sees his name as that right?? How the hell else am I supposed to pronounce Scien Brofiise??? It sure as hell ain’t how they say it in Japanese! 😂) spoilers under the cut as usual

Hmm… overall while I liked it, I think I’ve been so thoroughly emotionally and mentally broken by Mathis and Lucas that Scien’s route seemed pretty… tame in comparison LOLOL 💀 or maybe I’m still on residual WTFs from Lucas and should’ve waited another day to let it settle oops

The pain meter from these first three to me is Lucas > Mathis > Scien

The ending was definitely still a big oof and a little yikes though 😬. But with how dubious the “science” is in this game, part of me was wondering why Scien couldn’t just make a clone from Ceres’s body and then stick the memories he had into her after? Like people save memory backups of themselves prior to dying so why couldn’t he have saved her memories on whatever constitutes a USB stick in this world lmao

The science in this game in general honestly I just… can’t think about too deeply or it all falls apart LOL, being in like the medieval ages where you still gotta hand wash clothes but then suddenly having shit like electric cars, headset phones, touch-holograms, and perfect cloning with memories but not emotions is such whiplash 😂

The final CG was super pretty though, oof the expression on his face, my poor babygirl 😩 but… why are all the kiss CGs… not super great LOL, is the artist bad at drawing kisses? Because so far they’ve all looked a little uhhhh in each route? 😬😂

I very much appreciate the fact though that Scien’s best CGs are hands down the ones where he’s posing like a lil slut lmaooo, the jigsaw puzzle one?? Bitch he’s practically twirling his hair!! 😂

And his interactions with Ceres were very cute, especially the whole sandwich thing! But when she was like yay I’m so happy I’ve been promoted from maid to a sandwich dispenser! I was like girl… are you okay…?? Well clearly not but still 😂 like dang, never been happier getting told by a man to make me a sandwich lmaooo

Anyways! Back to the route in general - the whole thing of him being an oh no evil science man was so… meh to me? Maybe because I work in the sciences so I have a different view but like, I was perfectly fine with him experimenting on criminals? That’s pretty much what clinical trials are in the real world?? Of course you need to test shit on a few people before giving stuff out to the the general populace??? Why are people upset at this????

It was nice learning a bit more about Salome (though tbh I thought her backstory and relationship to scien would be… more significant LOL). And kinda weird that they left her mumbling when they were in hiding as “…” instead of maybe just quickly forcing the text to go through, because my limited amount of Japanese from anime let me understand the gist of what she was saying and oh. Gives a bit of a different vibe knowing what she said vs it having to be explained

Also, my face when they just decapitated Adolphe but then Ceres TOOK HIS HEAD WITH HER? HONEY NO, GIRL PUT IT BACK HE’S DRIPPING

FUCK THE ROYAL FAMILY, ALL MY HOMIES HATE THE ROYAL FAMILY 🔫🔫 The reservoirs or repertoires or whatever the hell they’re called can eat my ass and die 😂

The way I hollered when Lucas went in and shanked their asses, MY MAN!! … every other time he showed up though was a big aw shit Lucas we’re not in your route anymore go away please!! You’re causing the despair end nooo!!! 😂 very conflicting emotions when I see him now lmao

Same with when I see Jean… like you’re still so pretty and I love you but uhhh, hey Mathis maybe come over this way instead 😬

Side note, kinda sad we didn’t get to see Ankou in the second half of the route…

And finally - I love you Dahut, I was so worried you’d be evil but oh, thank god we have someone that’s just like a good friendly person (I think), you are so pure I love you please show up in every route to ease my fears (Hugo doesn’t count because I’ve still got my eye on him LOL)

Aight I think that’s it! In summary, Scien is this meme:

Literally just look at him

I wish I looked this sexy doing a jigsaw puzzle 😂

#blupengu yells about virche evermore #virche spoilers

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camgirlsurvivalguide · 2 years ago

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Goooood morning Survivors -- back at it with my favourite procrastination strategy: making e-books instead of shooting for OF! Love that for me.

Anyhow,

Tier systems and exclusivity marketing have always been at the forefront of my personal approach to my business. My two overarching goals with online SW are to make a lot of money (duh) while also keeping myself and my subscribers happy. For the camgirl migrators who used to live stream and then worked our way over to content creation platforms - I feel like some of our foundational knowledge has been forgotten, and I’m here to remind everyone that the way we used to do things is still a really good approach even on OF.

On M/FC, we focused our energy on premium members, and always offered more attention to tippers than to basics or non-tippers. This helped us focus on where the money was actually coming from, and rewarding tippers with more attention/special treatment plus access to things that others didn’t receive (videos, VIP status, club memberships etc) made tipping look more attractive to non-tippers.

Somehow on OF, practices have shifted - and I argue they’ve shifted in ways that really don’t benefit all of us very well, or very often. I’ve paid for “shout outs” from top creators twice now, and both times it’s involved giving out a number of free trials to my page. Both times I’ve paid over $200 and received a grand total of zero fucking dollars in the end - the free trials were used over 50 times, and NONE of those new “subscribers” paid me a damn dime. The only people benefiting were the seller, who pocketed my $200, and the seller’s subscribers who got free access to my page for a month (and then proceeded to spend absolutely nothing). Maybe this works for others, maybe there are criteria that I need to follow more carefully, bla bla bla - the bottom line is I think this practice mainly circles around from top creator to top creator while providing the buyer themselves - aka me, in this situation - with next to nothing. Now if I sold a “shout out” with a free trial link to someone else and then gave all my subscribers a month of free access to a different creators page, sure, some of them may click it - but they’re also more likely to stick with me for the chance to get free subs elsewhere.

Make sense? Because when it makes sense, it just kind of sucks. For me, I mean. For the other two parties it’s great - but I’m out here trying to make me money first and foremost. The second piece, as per old M/FC knowledge, is I’m trying to make the people who actually support me happy so they continue to do so.

This is where my e-book comes in. I’ve had more than half of my current subscribers for more than a year, with probably a third of that half having been subscribed for two or more years. At current, 125 active subs have spent $1000 or more on my page - and that’s out of just 275 total subscribers at the moment (it’s low bc I broke my fucking wrist and can barely lift a spoon to my mouth without dropping food, let alone shoot sexy content lol).

What I’m getting at here is that I’ve learned how to make people happy enough to stay long term and spend a lot. I do this using exclusivity marketing, which helps me maintain my own boundaries (I only really want a small group of top tier supporters seeing my most explicit content, which helps me keep leaks lower and makes me feel better about what I release) and allows me to charge $100 plus for a single video, because I know the individuals I’m sharing it with are way more likely to purchase expensive stuff. This is personal experience that I feel strongly enough about to sell to you as a tutorial book. As always, I’m never going to offer something for sale that I haven’t personally utilized with strong reward, so the book is a massive source of information not just for newbies but especially for long term creators.

At this point, because of how I’ve set myself up, even if I lost access to every single social media account I own, I know I’d still be able to make a handsome income because I don’t rely on advertising or a constant influx of new subscribers for the bulk of my income. Advertising is always necessary, but if you set yourself up right, it’s not 100% crucial to be doing every single day. As always, I’m sleepy and I have a huge brain so I prefer to work smart, not hard.

Anyhow, thanks for listening to me rant. I really hope the book benefits some of y’all because I think we could all use a bit more of this strategy and a bit less mad scrambling to secure new subs every day. Are you tired? I’m fucking tired. Doing things this way is a little less tiring.

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frasier-crane-style · 2 years ago

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The Eternals... yayyyy........

-Almost every action sequence takes place during early morning or in the evening or at night—anytime the primary color scheme is blue-gray. I guess the director really likes the effect of the Eternals’ golden glowing powers lighting up the scenery (and darkness hides how lousy the CGI is), but it makes for a murky and monotonous ‘action movie’.

It doesn’t help that the action scenes very rarely have a point—they mostly consist of the Deviants showing up and attacking people whenever the audience is in danger of nodding off, and the Deviants themselves turn out to be a red herring with little to do with the main plot. Even at the end, one shows up just to… attack at the same time that Ikarus goes berserk, which has little effect on the climax except to give Angelina Jolie something to do.

-I’m not saying that there are way too many characters in this, but one main character just goes “I’m not feeling it” and sits the climax out. Oh… I’m sorry… it’s your movie, you don’t want to star in it? Maybe they should’ve, I don’t know, removed this character from the script if they couldn’t think of any relevance or impact for him to have to the plot.

-The characters casually bring up that they have the ability to erase an Eternal’s memory, which seems like it would solve 95% of the problems that crop in this. A character goes “if you want to stop me, you’ll have to kill me!” Just erase his or her memories. Done. Like, Ikarus, my dude, the world is ending in one week. If anyone gives you a problem, wipe their memory and just wait shit out. We know the Eternals basically never contact each other—they won’t even notice for decades.

-Speaking of, main character Ikarus betrays the group, his family, and becomes their mortal enemy. This would seem like a big deal, like, everyone would be depressed that they now have to fight someone they love, but everyone save Sersi acts like they’ve hated him all along and now they finally have an excuse to beat his ass. Why not just make him a villain from the get-go if him being a former good guy actually has no bearing on the story’s dynamic at all?

-There’s some major recency bias going on with these wackos. For instance, out of all the atrocities throughout history, it’s the Spanish conquistadors that makes Druig go rogue. Given that the Aztecs practiced mass child sacrifice, you gotta wonder at the guy’s standards. Ripping a child’s heart out, that’s one thing, but shooting someone with a gun? Ditto for the A-bomb. I guess the concentration camps, the Rape of Nanking, even the Dresden firebombings, those were all fine, but Hiroshima? Fuck.

It’s hard to buy that these characters have been around for seven millennia when they don’t seem to have any of the experience or outlook that would go with that longevity. Comparatively speaking, they only seem to have figured out “humans sure can do bad stuff” or “humans can be really swell,” like, yesterday afternoon.

-The big plot—shamelessly ripped off from Galactus—is the Celestials are going to blow up the Earth, but they’re going to use that explosion to start millions of other life-bearing planets.

The thing is, with Galactus, he’s going to restart the universe AFTER all life has died out. The Celestials are just going to ADD to the preexisting life. We know from Guardians of the Galaxy that space is full of alien races and class-M planets that can be colonized (like the ruins Star-Lord visits in the opening of his first movie). Heck, according to Thanos, the universe is on the verge of running out of resources because there’s so much life (and before you say the Celestials are creating added resources for the preexisting races, no, it’s strongly implied all these planets will have native species that make use of said resources themselves). You’d think someone would bring up that this is a real 19 Kids And Counting situation. We really don’t need to sacrifice life in order to create loads more life. There’s already plenty of life.

-If you were wondering how Angelina Jolie being Athena (and Don Lee being Gilgamesh) meshes with there being a literal Thor who isn’t an alien robot, and even a literal Zeus we see in Love & Thunder—umm, keep wondering.

-As you might expect, there’s a bit about how the Eternals being forbidden to interfere in natural human development, except to defend them from the Deviants… but Phastus’s whole job seems to be designing technology for the humans to use? He even complains that he can’t share steam engines with Mesopotamians, and later whinges that he gave humanity the atom bomb (yeah, how could that possibly go wrong, smarto?).

So, what’s his job description anyway? What’s he supposed to be doing? Did the Celestials just have a coupon and they decided to throw in a tech genius guy to do nothing? I suppose so, they also made their speedster deaf (but not really—she can ‘sense vibrations’—but still needs to be signed to—and I guess Gayenheimer couldn’t come up with some artificial voicebox for her or anything) and Sprite one of those seven thousand year olds that looks like she’s 13 (I guess the Celestials are total weebs).

-Maybe the Celestials want ESG money.

-We’re told that the reason the Eternals can’t interfere in human conflicts is because war develops technology, such as medicine, which will make the humans live longer and have bigger families, which will bring about the Emergence sooner (I didn’t know we were on a timetable, but whatever). So… wait… why not just have Phastus invent as much tech as he wants, give it all to the humans, let them speed-run going from clay tablets to iPhones, and bring about the Emergence all the sooner? Less time for something to go wrong, right?

-Wait, we’re told the Deviants we’re created by the Celestials to defend humans from predators—but humans are predators. If the Celestials just need sentient lifeforms to feed an Emergence, what should they care about humans specifically? If T-rexes become the dominant lifeform in the ecosystem and eventually evolve into sapience, doesn’t that serve their purposes just as well? (I know this isn’t exactly how evolution works, but it’s the Marvel Universe, evolution sometimes gives people laser eyes.)

-Also, why is Sersi the Greek sorceress Asian? Phastus the Greek god of blacksmithing black? Gilgamesh the Middle Easterner Korean? And why is Salma Hayek playing Ajak as a non-action leader type, comparable to Professor X? If she’s a gender-swapped Zuras, okay, but why call this character Ajak after the famous GREEK WARRIOR? He/she is way closer to being Zuras.

-Speaking of, it’s kinda weird that the franchise that invented the slur ’colonizer’ pretty much depicts the Eternals as going from place to place, dressing up in native outfits, and civilizing the residents of whatever region they’re in. I guess it’s cool because they’re multiethnic instead of white, but either they’re letting the locals worship them or they’re impersonating the gods the locals are already worshipping.

We see Sprite putting on this big lightshow about Gilgamesh and Enkidu (umm… where is Enkidu? Is Sprite just writing fanfic about her ‘brother’ Gilgamesh? Was Enkidu a mortal that Gilgamesh hung out with? An Eternal that went on a smoke break and never came back?) and we’re supposed to see it as her inspiring mortals with myths, but isn’t she basically preaching a new religion to them?

-I have to ask—if you’re a Celestial, why even tell the Eternals that an Emergence is going to happen? It seems like they automatically link to the birthing Celestial to be preserved through the planet’s destruction and the Celestials must know the risk of an Eternal going rogue and turning against them (otherwise, why the mind-wipes and false memories?). And the Eternals don’t have to DO anything; the Emergence seems to happen on its own once the population hits a certain threshold. Just… don’t tell them!

For that matter, just give them orders to shut down or go into cold storage or even be picked up as soon as the Deviants are neutralized. I’m assuming that if Star-Lord can warp to a planet and pick a few people up, that it’s NOTHING for the Celestials to do. Heck, the Eternals have their own ship that’s capable of interstellar flight. Just order them to come back to base.

Or, if you’re leaving them on the planet, DON’T TELL THEM ABOUT THE EMERGENCE. What use is it for Ajak to know this and keep it secret from the others? Keep it secret from all of them! And if Ajak dies, DON’T TELL SOMEONE ELSE ABOUT THE EMERGENCE! This is literally God-level Bond villain stupidity. Because even Blofeld at his worst doesn’t call Bond up and go “hey, 007, I’m planning to steal a nuclear warhead in Florida and then hold the world hostage. Bet ya can’t stop me!”

So dumb.

#the eternals #marvel comics

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selene-moonie · 2 years ago

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Why you don’t have to believe

Once upon a time, many moons ago (before I even knew about manifesting) ya girl needed to pass her exams, or she’d have repeat subjects and be shamed by her family. Obviously, I didn’t want to go through that, but I was a below average student who failed pretty much every subject.

I knew I couldn’t fail, as easy as it would have been, but I didn’t know how I’d pass either, seeing as I didn’t even have the foundational part of most of my subjects down. I had no faith in my own skills, and there was no way I’d be able to pass from where I was. But I had to pass somehow.

I had an amazing teacher from forms 2-5. Manz was an angel. Super energetic, very caring, always told us he believed in us. He came to school one day with a high fever, sweating buckets, and looking like he was about to pass out - to teach us, his only class of that day, when he could have sent the notes with another teacher and recovered. I always saw that as him not wanting to give us an excuse to fail, but needless to say it made an impression on me.

I took that - his care and his belief in me to try to do well in school. If he thinks I can do it, then maybe I can.

I passed all of my subjects, when before I was a student who failed consistently.

Did I believe in myself throughout that process? No. But I trusted that his belief would get me somewhere and tried anyway. And I gained enough confidence in myself to attend university.

It’s the same thing with manifesting. You don’t have to believe it to do it.

Pick whatever technique you want to do, and just believe on the belief of others. That the formula given would work for you, even if you don’t believe in it. And persist till you get exactly what you want.

And as you see your manifestations come through, your self belief will increase, and your self concept will improve as well. A lot of the people on this app are advanced, as in they have enough self belief, and they’ve experimented with the law enough to know how to make the rules for themselves. A lot of them didn’t start there, but they got there because they practiced using the law and figuring out what worked for them.

If you’re not there yet, it ain’t a tragedy. Keep experimenting and using the law to your advantage; you’re going to get there regardless of where you want to go.

xoxo

your favourite daughter of the moon,

Selene 🌚

#specific person #law of assumption #manifesting #manifestation #motivation #self concept #master manifestor

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feotakahari · 8 months ago

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The Guardians

New Scrapyard Station race.

The Guardians aren’t related to any other species on their planet. Allegedly, a species called the Engineers created them, then disappeared sometime within living memory. But no Engineer ruins or artifacts have been found, and none of the Guardians have clear memories of their technology or even their culture. It’s as if they were never there.

Before the Nomads found their world, Guardian society was barely agricultural, slowly rebuilding their technological knowledge from the starting point.

Guardians have very, very widely differing appearances, but they most commonly resemble hairless, bipedal rats, about four feet tall. They have long, dexterous tails that can be used like hands. Culturally, they tend towards lightweight but skin-covering clothing that blends in with the decor of wherever they consider their home. Imagine a vague mass of robes with a tail and a little rat snout.

Guardians have a tendency to be helpful and quiet, working in the background without seeking acknowledgement. Some Guardians try to break this tendency and seek their fair share, but they find it difficult to overcome a sense that they’re doing something wrong. Guardians weren’t built to speak without being spoken to.

Despite this, Guardians can be surprisingly social if you get to know them. They accept aid and support as freely as they give it, even from other races.

Guardians are known to be calmly and efficiently violent in defense of themselves or their friends, and rarely suffer trauma from violent experiences. They rarely strike the first blow, but it’s whispered that a few of them were designed as assassins and have no problem taking out their enemies.

By most measures, the average Guardian is smarter than the average member of most species. The Engineers clearly built them for mental as well as physical labor. But they lag behind in practical engineering and technological development, because there were some things the Engineers didn’t want to be eclipsed in.

Guardians don’t shapeshift, not exactly. Whatever they look like, it seems to non-Guardians like they were that shape all along, and whatever they look like is whatever’s best suited to the current situation. But if you think about it, you can remember situations that couldn’t have happened in their current shape, little contradictions that history quietly sealed over.

Despite this, most Guardians can’t perfectly pass as another species. Every time they try, residual programming forces them to leave some sign of what they are.

Guardian prostitutes are highly sought after. Whatever you’re looking for, they can be it for a price, and if you harm them, they can simply be durable. But that doesn’t necessarily mean they enjoy whatever you enjoy, and it definitely doesn’t mean that cute Guardian you just met is down to fuck. Sometimes even Guardians can slap you.

(Maybe I should retcon that post about how Nomads are often assumed to be the sluttiest race.)

Guardians have sexes, but the sex they’ve “always had” today might not be the one they “always had” yesterday.

Guardians can suffer health problems even when they change, and their injuries don’t heal faster than other races. They’re particularly prone to fertility issues, suspected to be deliberately put in place to keep them from getting too numerous.

The name “Guardian” is a polite fiction. Guarding is just one of the many things they’re good at, but they wouldn’t want to be called “Slave” or “Whore.”

Like Scrappers, Guardian political representatives are generally aligned with the Builder bloc, often seeking better treatment for laborers.

There’s no inherent conflict between Guardian ratfolk and Nomad catfolk. This isn’t that kind of setting. However, there are a few Guardians among the Saboteur faction. (See “Scrapyard Station Needs More Villains” on Dreamwidth.)

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alyjojo · 1 year ago

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The Person On Your Mind in December 🧑🏿‍🎄 2023 - Libra

Whole of their energy towards Libra: Strength

Feelings: Justice rev

Intentions: 9 Swords

Actions: 3 Cups

This is an ex that feels betrayed by you, maybe even in regards to work. Or that’s a separate story from the preshuffle, you could have cost someone their job. Or betrayed them at work, because the unfairness they feel from you is in regards to emotional manipulation, they feel like you bamboozled & lovebombed tf out them just to lie & deceive behind their back. Or just tricked them, sold them a pipe dream. 4 Wands & Queen of Cups, they genuinely love you and felt this relationship was on solid ground, Knight of Cups rev following shows it’s like a wake up call, they feel tricked, “how could I not know?” kind of energy. They saw the best in this, out of a place of love for you, so no matter how this goes I do get this person being genuine there.

They feel it’s unfair, they’ve been tricked, and they’re panicking, replaying things over and over again in their mind. Where did I go wrong? When xyz happened, how did I not see it? Why did I just blindly do abc? They’re in mental hell, and that’s the intention, I’m sure it’s not and it’s probably all they can do. They’re healing, and also terrified that you’re leaving them behind, they’ll never see you again, they can’t be without you. It’s like desperation, or heartbreak. In action I do see them being friendly, you could have mutual friends, I don’t see kids but that’s possible, they will be happy to be around you again because somehow inevitably they will be. Some of them want to do the “let’s be friends” thing, literally anything to just keep you in their life. They do feel like you’ve manipulated them, and with their feelings being so heavily in…need, being terrified to let you go, it’s like they have their own manipulative ways too? I imagine meathooks in you, and you want to be with someone else fine but don’t leave forever. Meathooks on a longer rope, but still attached. The Sun at the bottom shows you’re recognizing this yourself. For some, you have kids together and where are you going? Idk, you’re reversed and needing to learn a lot about yourself, changing one way or another, and this may be a very karmic experience for you to work through right now ☀️

Messages:

Their side:

- I just want to talk to you.

- Forever Young

Your side:

- Shady Ex’s

- Physically Fit

Possible signs:

Cancer, Aries, Libra, Leo, Scorpio & Pisces

If you’re dealing with:

Page of Pentacles could be an apology, or giving a gift as an “I’m sorry” to someone. It also refers to schooling, a student, a learning experience, communication and practical planning, the beginning of a new plan, documents & contracts being signed & loans. You’re focused on where you’re going, not so much where you’ve been, and the Page is dependable, setting plans into place & getting feedback or things approved before taking the necessary action, which is what follows underneath this Page. A practical mindset 💚

Aries - doesn’t want something to end but Queen of Swords definitely has something to say about how this goes moving forward, I assume that’s you more than them, cautious & ready for pushback

Taurus - speaking their truth in a way that cuts deeply and hurts - on purpose - could regret this after the fact, sad about it, or you are

Gemini - feels deeply betrayed and is holding back from you/this for the time being, or you are

Cancer - goes back and forth on what they want for themselves, focused on them for now

Leo - stingy with money to a degree of King of Wands rev, being arrogant, controlling, “better than you”, aggressive even…they’ve got it but it’s more about how they treat you with it ⛔️ Or switch it.

Virgo - acting independently within a relationship, yes they love you, but they’re going to do what they want, when they want

Libra - very guarded and hurt by you leaving and running off to something new, or you’re both leaving something behind together and they’re extremely cautious & protective over whatever this new beginning is

Scorpio - your in and out fuckboy/girl behavior is unreliable and stresses them out daily, or they could be this way and worried you know the truth

Sagittarius - could be an ex that’s giving you money from a divorce, or your relationship is just unconventional but they’re invested in it

Capricorn - talking to you about goals & travel plans, could also be a stalking ex that drives by your house, they’re secretive, strategic & sneaky

Aquarius - honest about why they’re not cooperating with you, or something, not hiding anything or holding back

Pisces - feels like you haven’t grown, this can’t grow, or like they’ve had to do everything on their own, there’s no “we” just you and them, could be dealing with issues with work/children, could be this person

#Libra #person on your mind #December 2023 #astrology #tarot #tarotblr

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