#maybe it’s because i was always dreading the possibility that they end up together so i just glazed right over it

[zieroses]

Interrupting your regularly scheduled programming because I’m finally reading Wind and Truth. I didn’t get the chance to reread thousands of pages worth of the prior 4 books, but -

Why do I not remember Kal ever having feelings for Shallan?? B Sands has too big of a team for something like this to make it to the page if it didn’t happen, but i just read this like “pining?? What?? When??” And not just pining, but he approached her and was rejected?? When the fuck lmao

[felassan]

EuroGamer: 'BioWare knew the deepest secrets of Dragon Age lore 20 years ago, and locked it away in an uber-plot doc'

Original creator David Gaider on how "some of the big mysteries are being solved".

Rest of post under a cut due to length and possible spoilers.

"As I write about the secrets hidden in Dragon Age's mysterious Fade, and as I uncover some of them playing Dragon Age: The Veilguard, one question keeps rising up in my mind. How much did BioWare know about future events when first developing the series more than 20 years ago? That's a long time, and back then BioWare didn't know there would be a second game, which is why Dragon Age: Origins has an elaborate and far-reaching epilogue. Why lay so much lore-track ahead of yourself if you don't think you'll ever get there? But look more closely at Origins and there are big clues suggesting BioWare did know about future Dragon Age events. There are obvious signs in the original game, such as establishing recurring themes like Old Gods and the Blight and Archdemons. But there's also Flemeth, Morrigan's witchy mother, who's intimately linked to events in the series now - more specifically: intimately linked to Solas. Does her existence mean Solas was known about back then too? There's only one person I can think of to answer this and it's David Gaider, the original creator of Dragon Age's world and lore. We've talked before, once in a podcast and once for a piece on the magic of fantasy maps, where we discussed the creation of Dragon Age's world. And much to my surprise, when I ask him what he and the BioWare team knew back then, he says they knew it all. "By the time we released Dragon Age: Origins, we were basically sure that it was one and done, but there was, back when we made the world, an overarching plan," he says. "The way I created the world was to seed plots in various parts of the world that could be part of a game, a single game, and then there was the overall uber-plot, which I didn't know for certain that we would ever get to but I had an understanding of how it all worked together. "A lot of that was in my head until we were starting Inquisition and the writers got a little bit impatient with my memory or lack thereof, so they pinned me down and dragged the uber-plot out of me. I'd talked about it, I'd hinted at it, but never really spelled out how it all connected, so they dragged it out of me, we put it into a master lore doc, the secret lore, which we had to hide from most of the team.""

"This uber-plot document was only viewable on a need-to-know basis, he says, and only around 20 people on the team had access to it - other senior writers mostly. And even though Gaider left the Dragon Age team after Inquisition, and then eight years ago BioWare altogether, meaning he didn't work on The Veilguard at all, he believes - by looking at the events in the new game - his uber-plot lore "has more or less held up". That's impressive. What's even more impressive, or exciting, is that back then he also envisaged a potential end state for the entire Dragon Age series - a point at which it would make no sense for the series to carry on. "I always had this dream of where it would all end, the very last plot," he says, "which I won't say because who knows, we could still end up there. But the idea that this uber-plot was this sort of biggest, finite... That the final thing you could do in this world that would break it was there as a 'maybe we would get to do that one day'... There was just the idea of certain big, world-shaking things that were seeded in that arc, some of which have already come to pass, like the return of Fen'Harel." You've read that correctly: the idea to have Fen'Harel, also known as the Dread Wolf, reappear, was seeded all the way back then, way before Inquisition - the game in which he does actually reappear. But the concept for Solas, as a character who was Fen'Harel in disguise, was a newer idea. "That spawned from a conversation I had with Patrick [Weekes] and a number of other writers," Gaider says, "as an idea of 'what if you had a villain that spent an entire game where he's actually in the party and you get to know him?' Now, the god version and his larger role in the plot, yes that was known, but not that he would be presented as a character named Solas." Fen'Harel being known about means the other elven gods were known about, which means all of that stuff Solas reveals about his godly siblings - that they're not gods at all but evil elven mages he locked away behind the Veil - was known about back then too. "Oh yeah," Gaider says. "Everything that Solas tells you [at the end of Inquisition DLC, Trespasser]: it's all part of that original uber-lore - that was all in our mind." But why have so much lore if you're not certain you'll get to ever realise it? Well, to create a believable illusion. By creating an "excess" of lore, as Gaider describes it, Origins made Thedas feel like an old and believable place. A place with history, rather than a Western set that was all facade and no substance."

"BioWare also did something canny with the lore it did relay then, too: it shared it through the voices of characters living in the world, making it inherently fallible. In doing this, Dragon Age veiled its truths behind biases. The church-like organisation of the Chantry proclaims one truth, while the elves and dwarves proclaim another. Sidenote: you can experience this yourself through different racial origin stories in Dragon Age: Origins. This way, there's no one, objective, irrefutable, truth. "To get the truth, you kind of have to pick between the lines," Gaider says. So even though elven legends are coming true through the existence of Solas and The Veilguard's antagonist gods, it doesn't mean that's the one and only truth. There's truth in what the Chantry teaches and what the dwarves say, he tells me, which ignites my curiosity intensely. BioWare has also been tricksy in how it's rubbed out the lore the further back in time you go. "In general, the further the history goes back, we always would purposefully obfuscate it more and more," Gaider says - "make it more biased and more untrue no matter who was talking, just so that the absolute truth was rarely knowable. I like that idea from a world standpoint, that the player always has to wonder and bring their own beliefs to it." It leads into a founding principle of Dragon Age, which is doubt - because without it, you can't have faith, a particularly important concept in the series. It's where the whole idea of the Chantry's Maker comes from and with it, the legend about the fabled Golden City - now the Black City - at the heart of the Fade. This is the very centre of the lore web, and, I imagine, it's close to the series endpoint Gaider imagined long ago. All secrets end there. Did Gaider know what was in the Black City when he laid down Origins' lore? That's the question - and it startles me how casually he answers this. "Oh, yeah," he says. "What was in the Black City: that's the uber-plot. I knew exactly. "Was it as detailed in the first draft of the world?" he goes on. "No. I had an idea of the early history because that's where I started making the world. So the things that were true early-early: I knew exactly what the Black City was and the idea of what the elves believed, and what humans believed vis-a-vis the Chantry - that was all settled on really early. Then I expanded the world and the uber-plot bubbled out of that.""

"Gaider shows me the original cosmology design document for Dragon Age: Origins as if to prove this - or rather for the game that would become DAO. The world was known as Peldea back then. I can't share this with you because I see it via a shared screen on a video call, and because Gaider doesn't want me to, mostly because the ideas are so old they're almost unrecognisable from what's in the series now. But I can tell you it's a document that's just over a page in length, and that there's a circular diagram at the top showing the world in the middle and the spirit realm ringed around it. And on that document is reference to the Chantry's beliefs about a God located in a citadel that can be found there. Gaider says BioWare knew about Fen'Harel (the Dread Wolf) 20 years ago when it was developing Dragon Age: Origins, and that he'd one day reappear. The Fade wasn't known as the Fade back then, either, but as the Dreaming, because it's the place people go when they dream - an idea that lives on still. And if that sounds familiar to any fans of The Sandman among you, it should. "I'd say The Sandman series was probably fairly prominently in my head," says Gaider. "I liked that amorphous geography that was born from the psyche of collective humanity. I'd say yes, if I was to point at something specifically, that's probably where the very first inspiration of it took root." It's a lot to take in, but it reinforces the admiration I have for Dragon Age. Just as I have when hearing about the creation of my other favourite fantasy worlds, such as A Song of Ice and Fire, I begin to understand the magnitude - and the deliberateness - of the plotting that went on. I wonder if one day the Dragon Age series will end in the way Gaider first imagined, albeit slightly altered by the many other pairs of hands shepherding it along now. What a curious feeling it must be to know, so many years in advance, where things might go. Where that end is, I don't know, but I do know we'll take a significant step towards it in The Veilguard. After all, we're coming into contact with gods who were there at the recorded beginning of it all. "Yeah - we have access to people who can tell us the truth from first-hand experience," Gaider says, "although again, it depends on what the writers did with it. But if they continued the tradition of Dragon Age, you never know for sure if Solas is telling you everything, or what you're learning is the entire truth. "But yes, some of the big mysteries are being solved. I mean, will they one day definitively tell you about the Maker? Will we crack the big mysteries of the world and just make them answered finally? And does that ruin one of the central precepts that Dragon Age is founded upon? Maybe," he says. "Ultimately, that lore, when you make it big and you hint at it and hint at it and hint at it, it becomes a Chekhov's Gun of sorts. Eventually you got to pony up.""

[source]

[leahwllmsn]

next to you

leah williamson x reader

Just when you start to patch things up with your ex, an accident happens.

; angst, mentions of car accident & injuries

“Keira?”

“y/n.”

You become more alert when Keira speaks. She sounds like she has been crying, her voice is hoarse and you can tell the urgency behind it despite having only heard one word.

You’re scared to ask, but you brace yourself and hope that it’s nothing bad. “What’s wrong?”

It takes a few seconds for Keira to answer, all you can hear is her heavy breathing.

“It’s Leah.”

And you really wish Keira had stayed silent just a bit longer.

“What—Leah? What happened?”

Keira lets out a shaky exhale and you want to cry at the thought that something bad has happened to Leah.

“Just… meet me here, it’s uhm—I forgot the name of the hospital—”

“Hospital?” you immediately stand up, your hands going to the nearest wall to steady yourself. You hear commotion on the other end of the call and your heart starts to beat erratically in your chest.

What is happening?

“Keira?” you’re on the verge of tears. You two were fine last night. Leah was perfectly fine. “Keira, please say something.”

“y/n? I’ll text you in a bit. The doctors are here. I have to go.”

Keira’s voice is a faint sound that you can’t concentrate on anymore. The only thought going through your head is that something has happened to your…Leah and you have to get to the hospital as soon as possible.

—

The moment you read Keira’s texts, you hurriedly leave your apartment, all the while trying to reply to Keira as best as you can with shaking hands.

You don’t ask Keira anything else, just a simple ‘where are you’, and once Keira answered, you don’t hesitate to run all the way there because thank god, it’s only two blocks away from your place and you wonder just how long you spend going about your day thinking that everything is fine when Leah is fighting for her life a few blocks away—

No. You quickly rid yourself of the thoughts. Leah is fine.

You’ll show up at the hospital lobby, ask for a ‘Leah Williamson’ and they’ll tell you which room she’s in and you’ll see her there, sitting on the hospital bed, maybe a few bandages on her smooth skin, yet her dazzling smile plasters her face.

You’ll then chastise her for being so clumsy and reckless and you’ll give her a hug—because you spent the whole day together but not once were you brave enough to give Leah a big, tight hug when you knew she was expecting it as you parted ways at the end of the night

(You don’t want to think about the possibility of Leah not being able to hug you back.)

Yeah. Everything is going to be okay.

But once you arrive at the hospital and you ask the nurses for a ‘Leah Williamson’ and they tell you she is in the ICU, you feel the scenario you were watching in your head disappear just like that.

Leah isn’t fine. It’s not going to be okay. It’s far from that if Leah is in the intensive care unit and you feel dread taking over you, making every step towards Leah a grueling task.

You spot Keira first. She’s on the floor, leaning against the wall opposite to the doors where Leah is. Her face is pale, hugging her knees tightly as she rocks herself back and forth. You’ve never seen her like this. Keira is always full of composure, never wearing her heart on her sleeves.

But now you can see that Keira is afraid. She looks terrified and worst of all, Keira looks hopeless.

You force yourself to stay calm and not jump to conclusions. So what if Leah is placed in the ICU? So what if Keira’s face is so panic-stricken and pale and her eyes puffy from all the crying? It could all mean nothing.

For all you knew, Leah is seconds away from getting discharged and then you can have lunch together at this new restaurant that you want to bring Leah to because you know Leah will love it.

But then Keira looks up, her eyes meeting yours, it’s finally sinking in that it may be more serious than what you let yourself to believe.

The next thing you know, Keira is hugging you, sobbing silently into your chest. “She won’t wake up, y/n.”

No.

“I was supposed to pick her up, but she said she’d call an uber instead. I don’t know what happened, y/n, I really don’t. I got a phone call saying she was in a car accident—” you can feel Keira hugging you tighter. Or maybe it’s you who did, you don’t know anymore.

“I got here as soon as I could. She was already in the operating room when I got here, and uhm, she has injuries to her head and chest. I overheard them saying that she was bleeding from her chest when they brought her in. And I had to go earlier because the doctors went out. They said they had to stop the surgery because they said she needs time to recuperate or something, I don’t remember. I don’t really want to know the specifics. I just understood that they stopped the surgery in order to prevent her from bleeding to death on the operating table—”

You grimace and take a sharp intake of breath. It’s getting harder to listen to what Keira is saying.

And it seems like Keira understands how overwhelmed you are because she loosens her grip on you and steps back. “Sorry. That was too blunt,” she wipes away her tears and looks at you apologetically. “I also didn’t mean to bombard you with everything. I know it must be hard hearing all this.”

“It’s okay,” your voice is barely a whisper. You’re afraid you’ll burst into tears. “I need to know.”

Keira takes a deep breath before continuing. “They’re keeping her in the ICU for 24 hours. If she lives—if she’s stable enough, basically, they’ll operate on her again.”

“If she lives?”

Keira merely shrugs in response and you feel your eyes brimming with hot tears. You can’t lose Leah. Not like this.

“Can I—” you clear your throat. “Can I see her?”

“You can, but just… Brace yourself, I guess. She’s connected to a bunch of machines, and she has a ventilator on to help her breathe. It’s not a pretty sight.”

You nod slowly, trying to understand the severity of it all. “I just want to hold her hand. I can do that, right?”

“Yeah, you can,” Keira flashes you a smile. You can see the tears welling in her eyes. “Hold her hand as tight as you can, will you? Maybe she’ll come back to you.”

You blink away your own tears at that. How you wish that’s possible.

With one last look at Keira, you push the doors open.

The first thing you take a note of is, apart from the beeping and the hum of the machines, it’s eerily quiet. You walk slowly, not daring to lift your head up. Maybe you shouldn’t be here. Even Keira waited outside, that must be an indicator of how horrible being in this room must be.

But you decide that you should stop being a coward. Leah needs you. You aren’t going to run away again. So stopping at the foot of the hospital bed, you slowly lift your head up.

It doesn’t sink in at first. The figure on the bed looks so much like Leah, but she also doesn’t. You almost don’t recognize her with the tubes connected to her body and the bandages on her head. There were cuts as well as patches of purple and blue bruises all over her pale skin. One particular cut stood out, it’s on her left cheekbone and you’re sure Leah will complain about it if she’s awake.

You understand why Keira seems like she doesn’t want to step in the room.

You make your way to the side of the bed. You sit down on the chair and for a few seconds, you stay still. Everything is finally sinking in.

Leah is here in front of you, but at the same time, she’s not.

Leah is dying and you can’t do anything but sit next to her and hold her hand and wish that she will wake up. You try your best to ingrain to your memory what it feels like to have Leah’s hand in your grip.

And finally, a tear escapes your eyes. You blame it on the fact that Leah would always squeeze your hand back but this time it stays there, limpless.

“I know we just saw each other yesterday, but I miss you,” you chuckle through your tears that are now freely flowing down your cheeks. “I miss you, and your damn smile, and your stupid sarcastic remarks.”

You grip Leah’s hand tighter.

“You’ll come back to me right, Leah? You have to.” you hope Leah is able to hear you. “I have so many stories to tell you, yesterday wasn’t enough for me. Did you know that I went back to London a few months ago? I didn’t tell you, obviously. We hadn’t talked in so long.

“Beth told me that you were scheduled to have a Ted Talk. You were brilliant. I mean, I’ve always known that, but seeing you up there in front of thousands of people… you were so eloquent and so damn brilliant. I could tell that your smile wasn’t as bright as before though. I blamed myself for taking your happiness away from you.”

You keep your gaze on the blonde’s face. Despite everything, Leah is still the most gorgeous person you have ever seen. “I’ll do anything to get you smiling again, you know that right? I’ll do anything, Lee, even if it means switching places with you. I’d do it in a heartbeat.”

—

two years ago

“y/n!” Leah shouted, not caring about all the heads that turned in her direction.

You stood still. From across the street, Leah could see you wiping away the tears that were flowing down your face. Leah wanted nothing more than to be the one doing that, to hug you close and tell you that everything will be okay.

But the moment Leah stepped forward, you quickly turned around to make your way back inside the building.

“y/n!” Leah shouted once more, though this time it sounded more like a plea.

Leah stepped into the street, but she had to immediately step back because of the cars that rushed by her. Her eyes darted around until they landed on the intersection and she ran towards it.

Leah repeatedly pushed the button on the traffic light pole, hoping it will allow her to cross faster, all the while keeping her eyes on the spot where you stood earlier.

At the back of her mind, she knew that she was too late. She knew you were already inside your friend’s apartment, somewhere Leah couldn’t get into because she didn’t have the access keys. But Leah wasn’t the type to give up that easily, so she had to try to do something.

Once the light changed and the cars stopped moving, Leah sprinted across the street, bumping into people and muttering rushed apologies.

She arrived at where you stood. She tried to catch her breath as she stared into the doors of the building that was tightly closed. From the window on the door, she could see mailboxes and an elevator that would take her to where you were.

But Leah couldn’t do anything but stand there helplessly. It killed her and she didn’t know that it could hurt this much to know that she was too late. She knew you wouldn’t want to see her anymore—you made that clear enough when you told her you were leaving the country to play football in Paris. You made it clear that you wanted to start fresh and that meant leaving Leah behind.

Leah placed her forehead on the door, letting out a heavy sigh and tried her best to not let anymore tears fall.

“y/n…” she muttered. “Why?” Leah knew you couldn’t hear her but she couldn’t help it; she let out everything she was feeling, including the tears that she tried so hard to suppress. “I love you. I’ll give up anything for you. Isn’t that enough?”

Leah wiped away her tears and walked away from the doors. She took a deep breath. She had to calm down, she had to if she wanted to think of ways to get you back.

But with every thought of you and every flash of your smile and your eyes and your laugh in her mind, Leah’s breath started getting heavier and heavier until she couldn’t handle it anymore and she let out a scream.

“Why?!” Leah looked up at the building. She screamed as loud as she could, hoping that you could hear her. “I hate you, y/n! I fucking hate you!”

Leah sobbed, clutching her chest. It hurt. It felt like there was a knife through her heart and that no matter how hard she tried, she wasn’t able to pull it out.

“I hate you… I hate you. I hate you.” Leah dropped to her knees, unable to stop crying. She knew no matter how much she said it, she would never mean those words.

Leah contemplated sitting there, in front of the apartment doors, waiting for you, because you had to come out sooner or later. But she decided against it. She already looked pathetic enough, and she wasn’t going to wait until someone finally recognized her and took pictures of her in her most pitiful state.

She was Leah Williamson and Leah Williamson didn’t cry on the side of the street, hair in a mess, eyes all puffy.

So Leah stood up and swallowed all her tears instead of letting them fall freely.

Leah was good at everything, she captained her country to the Euros championship, for fuck’s sake. Leah knew all the right things to say and she knew what shouldn’t be said out loud. Leah knew a lot of things and she had everything one would want in life.

She had the perfect house growing up. She had the best family, the perfect support system. And with her newfound fame, anything she wanted, she’d get and anything she got bored of, she could just throw without a second thought. There wasn’t anything she couldn’t have.

But walking back to her car that day, Leah felt like knowing the answers to everything and being able to have anything she wanted was useless. All the fame and fortune couldn’t get you back into her arms.

—

“Hey, have you eaten?”

Your head shoots up at the voice. You don’t realize you’ve fallen asleep.

“Yeah,” you reply, voice groggy from sleep. “I went to the cafeteria an hour ago.”

Keira smiles at you. You notice how she keeps on averting her eyes away from the hospital bed.

“Georgia’s here,” Keira informs you. “She was so confident about wanting to see Leah but I think the reality finally caught up to her.”

You lift an eyebrow in question.

“She’s outside, too scared of setting foot in the ICU,” Keira elaborates.

“You seem to be scared too earlier.”

“Yeah,” Keira trails off, standing next to you. Her eyes still aren’t landing on Leah’s figure. “I just feel so helpless. I hate feeling helpless.”

“Me too,” you sigh. “I’d like to think that me being here helps though.”

Keira hums. “I bet she appreciates it. She never would admit it, but she missed you a lot.”

“I missed her too.”

“Are you staying here tonight?” Keira asks.

“If that’s okay with you.”

“Of course,” Keira nods. You see the pain in her face when she finally does look at Leah. “I can’t stay in this room for too long. It feels suffocating. I don’t know how you do it.”

You shrug. “I want to spend every second with her. It does feel suffocating but it’s better than not being with her at all.”

Keira places a hand on your shoulder and gives it a squeeze. “Thank you. I’m sorry I can’t be here accompanying her too. I feel like I’m such a bad friend.”

“You’re not,” you immediately shake your head, your hand going to touch Keira’s. “Leah would understand.”

Keira’s eyes are shining with unshed tears, the sight amplifies the pain in your chest.

“I better go check on G.”

“Is she okay?”

Keira gives a small laugh. “She’s okay, just scared. Who isn’t though?”

“Yeah, I get it. It’s crazy to think that we might lose her,” your voice cracking as you voice your biggest fear out loud. “Do you… do you think she’ll make it?”

Keira stays quiet. You don’t think she’s going to answer until she lets out the biggest sigh. “I’d like to think so.”

“But?”

“Hm?”

“I just feel like there’s a ‘but’ somewhere in your sentence.”

Keira doesn’t answer this time, instead she averts her gaze away. You see her trying not to cry and you feel bad for bringing the topic up.

After a beat, you feel Keira squeeze your shoulder one more time before walking towards the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Once the door closes, you look back at Leah. “Are you ready for tomorrow, Lee?” You lean forward and brush strands of blonde hair away from Leah’s face. “You’re going to be strong for me, aren’t you?”

You take Leah’s limp hand in yours and kiss the back of it softly. “Maybe I should ask the nurses where I’ll be sleeping tonight. Although, I think I’m good here too. It’s just a bit cold. I’m sure you’re loving it though. Your apartment always felt like the north pole.”

Beep. Beep. Beep.

“Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah? When you wake up… I’ll go wherever you go. I’d move back to London. We can travel the world together, just us two. How does that sound?”

Although there’s no answer and all you can hear is the beeping sound of the heart monitor, you feel hope blooming in your chest.

“We can go to Nashville, see that country music festival you’ve always wanted to go to. Even though you know how much I dislike country music, I’d suffer through it for you. Or… we can just stay at your apartment, here in London. I missed that place. We had so many good memories there. God, I’m so talkative today. Are you tired of hearing me speak? Maybe I should let you get some rest.”

You feel your heart getting lighter. You’re actually optimistic about things. It feels good to have hope.

“Goodnight, my Leah. I love you. I’ll see you real soon.”

—

three years ago

“Have you ever thought about what you would name your child?”

You looked away from the TV and to the blonde next to you. “That’s a random question.”

Leah shrugged, her hands finding yours, your intertwined hands resting between you on the sofa. “I’m just wondering. I think I want to name them after me.”

“Narcissistic much?” you teased, causing Leah to flick your forehead.

“Or Amanda,” Leah continued. “After mum.”

“Amanda is nice,” you nodded your head in thought. “I think I’d like to name mine Lily.”

“You’re naming your child after your cat?”

“After the flower, dummy,” you rolled your eyes. “You know they’re my favourite flowers.”

“What if you have a son instead of a daughter? Will you name it Streaky?”

You let go of Leah’s hand and gave the blonde’s shoulder a weak shove. “You’re making fun of me.”

“I’m not!” you heard Leah’s soft laughs, and the next thing you knew Leah was scooting closer, placing her arms around you. You felt a kiss on the side of your head and you immediately sighed in content.

“Streaky is cute though,” you pretended to be in thought, not really thinking of naming your son after your second cat.

“We are not naming our son Streaky,” Leah argued. “I was only joking!”

You raised an eyebrow at that. “Our son?”

“Mhmm.”

You looked at Leah. She had her attention back to the TV, some Netflix show was on, you couldn’t remember what you were watching anymore.

“Do you think our children will look like us?”

“Can we back up a second, babe,” you laughed. Your heart was doing somersaults. You two had never talked about kids before. “Our children?”

You saw the smirk on Leah’s face as she turned back to you. “Well we are together, aren’t we? Are you thinking of having children with other people, darling? I’m hurt.”

You shook your head at her ridiculousness. Ridiculous that she was able to talk about a serious topic with such ease and so full of confidence as if having children with you was something that was definitely going to happen.

You fell more in love with her if that was even possible. “I love you, Lee.”

“Amanda and Lily are cute names, aren’t they?”

“I just know they’re going to be stubborn and cocky, with egos as high as the Eiffel Tower. Just like their mother.”

Leah pulled away from the hug, her brows knitted. “Excuse me?”

“I’m kidding,” you grinned at the blonde before peppering kisses all over her face. “Even if I wasn’t, I would still love those parts of you.”

“Whatever.” Leah was trying her best to look annoyed but you could see the small smile on her lips.

“Are you getting tired of me already?” you pouted.

Leah immediately dropped her act and kissed away your pout. “No. Never.”

“Even if I just called you stubborn and cocky?”

“Yes,” Leah rolled her eyes. “As long as you don’t mind that about me.”

“I find it kinda hot actually.”

Leah pinched your nose at your statement, causing you to laugh. “What? I’m just telling the truth.”

Leah shook her head fondly at you. “I bet Amanda and Lily will have a thousand guys or girls lining up after them if they take after their mother’s flirting skills.”

“Oh, thank you,” you beamed at Leah. “I do have excellent flirting skills.”

“I was talking about me actually. Did you forget who made you blush 24/7?”

“Wipe that smug grin off your face, Williamsom.”

Leah hummed, placing a chaste kiss on your lips. “I’m so in love with you, y/n l/n.”

You couldn’t help the smile on your lips as you melted into the kiss and into Leah’s embrace. “Me too.”

“I can’t wait to meet Amanda and Lily Cathrine.”

You laughed at that. “Cathrine? We are not naming our daughter after you.”

“Pleaseee?”

You sighed, never able to say no when Leah gave you her puppy dog eyes. “Then it’s fair if Amanda has my middle name.”

Leah grinned at you. “You got yourself a deal, my love.”

—

Hour 1

You don’t notice when Keira and Georgia arrive. They are sitting next to you in the waiting room, you’re sure they’ve said something to you, but for now, you don't feel like talking to anyone.

You just need some time to regroup, to convince yourself that Leah will be fine and that the worry in your heart should calm down.

You will talk to Keira and Georgia later, you make a promise to yourself that you will.

Just not right now.

(Right now, you’re afraid that you’re actually going to lose Leah.)

Hour 2

“Georgia, stop fidgeting.”

“How can I? When we don’t know if she’ll make it.”

“Don’t say that. She will. Weren’t you the one who said that she’s strong? Of course she’ll make it.”

“She is. She’s strong. I’m just… I’m scared, Kei.”

“Yeah, well, so am I.”

Hour 4

“What’s taking them so long?”

“It’s only been 3 hours.”

You look up at the restless blonde. Georgia has been walking back and forth for the past hour, while Keira is sitting next to you, her knees bouncing up and down.

You haven’t uttered a single thing. The whole time you have just been watching them silently.

It’s sad, you think. They are so used to being a trio that without Leah, it all feels incomplete.

Georgia would say a thousand words per minute about what might happen and Keira would reassure her that everything would be fine. Then within the same hour, it would be Keira who was stressing out over Leah and Georgia was there to calm her down.

It’s another sad thing, you think. Despite it all, they have each other to lean on. You have no one.

The only person you wanted is lying in an operating bed as doctors try to keep her alive.

Hour 6

Returning from the bathroom, you see two men in scrubs having a conversation with Keira and Georgia.

“We’ve done everything we can,” you can hear one of them say. “Now we just have to wait for her to wake up.”

“When will she wake up?” It’s Georgia who asks.

You’re now standing next to her, your thoughts running everywhere now that you know the surgery is over.

“We cannot say,” the other doctor answers. “She’ll wake up when she’s ready.”

You tune out everything after that. You can faintly hear Keira asking more detailed questions about the recovery period, but how could you think about the recovery when Leah hasn’t even woken up? Who knows if she will even wake up.

At that thought, you immediately snap your head towards the two doctors and ask something that you aren’t sure you want the answer to. “Is there a possibility that she won’t ever wake up?”

It’s a long ten seconds before you have your answer.

You feel like you shouldn’t have asked.

“I’m afraid that the possibility is always there.”

Hour 7

There isn’t a lot of difference with Leah’s appearance since the last time you saw her this morning. Still beautiful, you’d argue. But aside from that, everything is still the same—Leah still has that cut on her left cheekbone, she still has that bandage on her head and her hand is still not squeezing your hand back.

The room is still cold and the sound of the machines is still the one accompanying you instead of Leah’s laughs.

“Since you just got out of surgery,” you speak, already used to not getting a reply. “You probably still want to rest some more, huh? You did a good job back there, love, you deserve to rest. But not for too long, okay? I’d miss you too much.

“I’ll be here when you wake up, Leah. Then you can tell me what you’ve been dreaming of all this time. I hope it’s nice, wherever you are.”

“Please wake up.”

Hour 10

“You can wake up anytime soon, Lee. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. I’ll follow you wherever you go, so you don’t have to be afraid of losing me anymore. As long as I have a say in it, you won’t lose me.”

Hour 12

“You should go home, mate,” Georgia says, her voice etched with worry. “Get freshen up.”

“Yeah,” Keira agrees. “We’ll stay here with her.”

“I’m good.”

You give them a tight-lipped smile and focus your attention back to Leah. There is no way that you’re leaving her.

“I’ll go with you,” Georgia offers. “Your place is near, right? It’ll be quick, it won’t even be an hour.”

“No thanks. I’m good right here.”

Hour 14

It seems like Georgia and Keira have very good persuading skills because the next thing you know, you’ve relented to go home—just to quickly shower and get a set of fresh clothes since you’re not sure how long you’re going to stay at the hospital.

You’re back at the hospital exactly half an hour later, your backpack over your shoulders and a fresh bouquet of roses in one hand.

You smile at the flowers you’re holding. You’re sure Leah will love it.

“Where’s Georgia?” you ask upon entering the room and seeing that Keira is alone.

You set your bag down and place the flowers on the table next to Leah. You bend down and place a kiss on Leah’s forehead.

“She went to get some food at the cafeteria,” Keira answers. “You should get something to eat too.”

You’re about to argue and say that you’re not hungry when your stomach betrays you and lets out a growl.

Keira laughs at you and you only smile sheepishly before stepping out of the room.

It’s easy to spot Georgia. She’s the only person who took up a table for six people all to herself.

“Hey,” you sit down in front of her. “What are you eating?”

“I have no idea..”

You give her a chuckle. “You don’t know what you ordered?”

Georgia shrugs, shoving her plate of food towards you. “It’s good though. We can share.”

You two eat in silence before a thought pops into your head and you look at her questioningly. “By the way, where is Amanda? Does she know what’s happened to Leah?”

“Yeah,” Georgia answers, mouth full of food. “She was visiting Jacob in Australia. They’re on the flight here.”

You hesitate for a few seconds before you decide to ask what’s on your mind. “Does Amanda hate me?”

Georgia raises her eyebrows at that. “You did break her daughter’s heart, mate.”

“I know,” you sigh. The answer is obvious but it still manages to leave an ache in your chest. Amanda was once the closest thing you had to a mother. “I hope she doesn’t hate me too much.”

You hope Leah will wake up so you can make up for everything you did wrong.

Hour 17

Leah still hasn’t woken up.

You would be lying if you say you aren’t losing hope.

Hour 20

“Is it naive of me to still have this hope in my chest when hours had passed and there are still no signs of you waking up? I’m not stupid for waiting, right Lee? You know that I’ll wait for you forever, but please don’t take too long. It’ll hurt too much.”

Hour 23

Georgia and Keira decide to go home and promise to return in a few hours.

You don’t mind being alone with Leah—you would take any chance to be with her. But the silence is getting too loud and you feel like screaming.

Because why is Leah still unconscious? It has almost been a day, it doesn’t make sense to you that she isn’t awake yet.

Your head is throbbing. You can’t get an inch of sleep. How can you when the love of your life isn't waking up?

“The sun is shining so brightly, I wish you could see this. It’s nice and warm. Wake up, love.”

Hour 25

You don’t want to cry. You’re afraid that crying means you’re giving up on Leah and you will never do that.

Leah is going to be alright so there is no need for you to be sad and cry.

But Leah is still lying there unconscious and all the scenarios of her not waking up came rushing in, and it becomes really hard for you to hold in your cry.

So you let out a sob. It’s quiet at first. But the pain in your chest keeps on multiplying as each second passes and the thought of having to live without Leah’s smile is getting more and more vivid.

“Leah… I’m begging you. I’ll do anything. Why won’t you wake up? Is it better over there? That’s why you don’t want to come back here? To come back to me?”

It hurts. Everything hurts. You don’t want anything else, you just want your Leah back.

“I love you,” your vision is blurry with tears. Your cry is getting louder and louder but you don’t care. You wish it’s loud enough to wake Leah up. “I love you. Isn’t that enough? Please wake up. Lee… Why won’t you fucking wake up?”

Then it happens. It’s a whisper you would miss if your crying hasn’t stopped.

“Why… are you crying?”

You turn to the source of the voice.

“Leah?”

“I love… you too. Stop… crying.”

And you can’t describe what you’re feeling when you finally feel Leah squeeze your hand again.

(You can’t stop crying, even when Georgia and Keira finally return to find their best friend awake.

You can’t stop crying because you don’t want to go through this again and the thought of it being over is filling your body with relief and you don't know what to do but to cry.

Most of all, you can’t stop crying because Leah’s smile is the most precious thing in the world and you’re glad that you’re ble to see it again.)

—

a few days ago

You greeted Leah with a shy “hello” and a tiny wave. You still couldn’t believe that Leah actually agreed to meet up with you—a part of you still felt that you didn’t deserve this chance.

“So where are we going?” Leah spoke in an indifferent manner, which you expected. It would take some time to knock her walls back down but you were willing to be patient, however long it would take.

“The arcade,” you answered, gesturing for Leah to follow you.

Leah looked confused. “The arcade?”

(You started to walk side by side and you almost forgot that you weren't supposed to reach out and intertwine your hands).

“Yeah,” you smiled at her. You hoped Leah couldn’t tell how nervous you were. “We never ended up going,” you saw Leah’s features relaxed slightly as she realized what you meant. “You remember right? That time when I went to the arcade with Guro and you got jealous.”

Leah rolled her eyes, the scowl on her face made you smile wider. “I wasn’t jealous.”

“Sure you weren’t.”

“Do they have food at the arcade?”

You gave a small laugh at the change in subject. Leah always turned moody everytime you brought up your friendship with the Chelsea player. Mostly because she didn’t like that you were fraternizing with the enemy—her words. You loved provoking her every time.

“Yes, they do have some plain toast with butter for you. I checked.”

“I’m just hungry,” Leah replied back, her tone annoyed. “I haven’t had breakfast.”

“They have food,” you reassured her. “And tea.”

“Cool.”

Despite the short responses, Leah’s voice didn’t hold as much bitterness as you were expecting and you were grateful for that.

You walked in silence, you came up with some jokes every now and then, trying to get more smiles out of the blonde.

It wasn’t until your tenth attempt that Leah let out a short laugh.

You wore a proud smile the rest of the way.

—

“You know, you haven’t apologized for stealing my breakfast.”

Leah stopped walking and stared at you confused. “What?”

“When we first met,” you clarified. “You stole my breakfast.”

“I didn’t do such thing.” Leah rolled her eyes.

“You did.”

“Well, I don’t exactly remember something that happened decades ago now do I?” Leah scowled at you, forever annoyed whenever you brought it up. You continued walking side by side, no particular direction in mind. “But I always let you take my breakfast!”

“But I never really did fancy your plain food, Lee,” you smiled fondly at the memory. “Anyway, back to what I was saying, you haven’t apologized.”

“Even though I didn’t do anything wrong, I apologized to you every time you brought up this argument just to annoy me.”

“You didn’t.”

“Mate, I did.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Whatever! I always let you take my breakfast! Which went on for years, if I may add.”

“So?” Leah rolled her eyes again and you laughed. “Your eyes will fall off if you keep on rolling them at me.”

“It’s because you’re annoying.”

“But you’re smiling so I must be doing something right.”

It was funny how Leah immediately dropped her smile. “I wasn’t smiling.”

“You were.”

“No. Just spasms.”

You chuckled at Leah’s response. After hours spent at the arcade, you felt that Leah had started to loosen up. You could see it with the way Leah wasn’t acting like standing next to you was the worst thing in the world anymore. Leah started to talk more too, you didn’t have to start the conversation to get the blonde to say something, and you were glad because you really wanted to hear Leah speak—you badly missed the sound of her voice.

“Where are we going next?”

You tilted your head in thought. You didn’t know—your plan had only consisted of going to the arcade. You figured Leah would get tired of you by then and you would just head back, but Leah was still here, not looking like she wanted to leave.

You racked your brain of where you could take her next and when a thought came up you grinned. “I know a place.”

“What is it?”

“You’ll see.”

“Why don’t you just tell me?” Leah sounded impatient.

“You’re no fun,” you pouted. “The place reminds me of you, that’s all I’m saying.”

—

“Why does a florist remind you of me?”

“Because you smelled like roses,” you answered, picking up a single red rose. “You still do.”

“That’s ridiculous. I do not.”

You grinned up at her. “I was trying to be romantic.”

Leah scoffed, looking away. You smiled to yourself when you could see the faint blush on Leah’s cheeks.

“Flowers are very symbolic,” you continued. “You can express a lot of things with them. Sometimes you don’t even have to say anything because the flowers can speak for you. I think that’s amazing.” You looked at the colorful display of flowers in front of you. “This place reminds me of you because every time I come here, I think of everything I wanted to say to you but couldn’t.”

You could feel Leah’s gaze on you so you looked back and met Leah’s eyes. “Stop looking at me and look at the flowers. They’re beautiful, aren’t they?”

“Yeah.” Leah still hadn’t looked away so you were the first to break your eye contact. Leah’s gaze made you nervous.

“These are white tulips,” you pointed at the white flowers in a clear vase. “They can be used to seek forgiveness. I think about you a lot whenever I see one. These too,” you walked across the store to where a bouquet of purple flowers lay. “Purple hyacinth… ‘I’m sorry’, ‘please forgive me’...” you trailed off.

After a beat, you turned to Leah who was still staring at you intently.

“I’ve always thought of sending you some flowers, but I never had the courage to do it. I think a part of me is scared that you’ll end up throwing it away,” you took a deep breath and smiled. “I’ll do it today. I hope that’s okay with you.”

Leah didn’t reply, instead she took the single rose from your hand and brought it up to her nose, taking in its scent. “I love flowers,” she said, returning the rose to you. “And just so you know, if you did send me flowers, I don’t think I have it in me to throw them away.”

—

“Why red roses?”

“Aren’t they your favourite? I know you love white roses too, but I think the red ones are more fitting here.”

“How so?”

“Sometimes people have different interpretations of what a flower symbolizes, or their meaning might change over time… but this one stayed consistent. Everyone knows what red roses symbolize.”

“So what are you saying?”

“I’m not saying anything, Lee. I told you how symbolic flowers are, didn’t I? I’ll let them speak for me.”

When you saw the small smile on Leah’s lips, you knew that everything would be okay.

You couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life making it up to her.

—

sorry for any medical inaccuracies:)

I don’t really like this but oh well, hope it’s decent enough 🫶🏼

[tvgirlie24]

Not Enough pt.3

Things settle down between you and Alexia, but it doesn’t mean that everything is perfect now. You still have your own struggles to overcome and Alexia tries to help as much as she can. 

small angst, some fluff

part 2

Things got significantly easier after that encounter after the match, you wouldn’t say that everything was alright suddenly, you were still very hesitant around Alexia, but most of the tension was definitely gone, and you didn’t dread going to trainings as much as you used to. Though, you did have to remind Alexia that you were in fact okay and she didn’t need to ask you every other minute. As sweet as it was, it was getting a bit overwhelming at times, mostly because you were still getting used to the version of Alexia that didn’t hate you. 

Although, things have improved a lot in the past 2 weeks, you still struggled with your confidence out on the pitch, having a hard time with being comfortable in your shots and passes. So even though Alexia made a point of always telling you that you did a good job at the end of training, you knew it was far from the truth, constantly leaving training frustrated with your performance. You naively thought that if the situation with Alexia got resolved then maybe you would start doing better, but it seemed that Alexia did a lot more damage than you initially thought, a fact, which even Alexia noticed apparently. 

You could see Alexia approaching you, after yet another training session, where your performance was well below the average, to say the least, and you got scared momentarily. She hadn’t raised her voice around since that day, but you couldn’t help but think that this was it. She got fed up with how shitty you’ve been playing, and she was about to tell you off, tell you to get it together and start playing like you’re playing for Barça and not some low rated team. You supposed it was a bit unfair, she’s been nothing but nice to you these past 2 weeks, but some things are hard to get rid of. 

But when she got to you, she didn’t seem angry or as if she was about to scold you. She gave you a small smile and stopped you as you were in the process of putting away some of the equipment. She silently took some of the stuff from your hands, laying it back down on the ground and you looked up at her, slightly frowning, wordlessly asking her was she was doing.

“Hey so, uhm, I just wanted to ask you how you were doing? If you were okay?” She asked hesitantly, causing you to frown even more. You really didn’t understand what her point here was. “Alexia, I’ve told you before, I feel fine, you don’t need to keep asking me all the time.” 

“Sí, sí, I know, you feel okay, but I meant it more like, if you feel okay, uhh, mentally?” You could see she was really trying to be careful about how she worded her question, but that didn’t provide you with any more clarity. 

“I guess, yeah? Why are you asking?” 

“Uhm, vale, por favor, don’t think I’m trying to insult you, I’m not, prometo. It’s just that I see how you’re playing, and I know you can play much better. I’m not saying that you’re playing badly, it’s just that you’re making mistakes, no, no, not mistakes, uhh, choices you wouldn’t usually make, from how I’ve seen you play before and I just wondered-“

You couldn’t help but giggle a little, unintentionally interrupting her intense rambling. You could see what her point was now, and you found it a bit adorable how she was desperately trying not to insult you. While you did get to see her be a bit more carefree lately, you never imagined her being all shy and rambling, trying her hardest to be as nice to you as possible, it was still a very weird sight.

Though she just frowned at you, confused what you were laughing about. “¿Qué?”

“No, I’m sorry, it’s just that you’re rambling, like, a lot.” You pointed out carefully, also not wanting to insult her. 

“Vale, lo siento, I just really don’t want this to come across the wrong way, and I know it’s not my place to ask, but I just wanted to check in on you.” She said, a lot more calmly than before.

You were about to reply but quickly stopped yourself. What were you supposed to tell her? 

Yeah, you know, I’m actually pretty insecure about my playing skills and it’s mostly because of you, because for weeks that I was here you kept telling me that everything I do is wrong, so now I’m having a hard time playing like I did before because I’m second guessing my every move, but no worries, all is good. 

Yeah no, you don’t want to say this, you know you could, hypothetically, but Alexia was desperately trying to fix everything between the two of you and the last thing you wanted was to make her feel guilty about something that she couldn’t change. You weren’t sure what to tell, so you settled for a little half-truth.

“I guess I just lost some confidence? The style of play is a bit different here and it’s just taking me some time to get used to. I know I haven’t been playing that well I promise I’m working on it it’s just that-“

“Yeah, no, I get it. I can see that you’re working very hard, I didn’t mean to imply that you’re not. I assume I’m also a reason why you aren’t as confident anymore?”

Now it was your turn to ramble. “No? Yes? Kind of? It’s not just you, I swear. There just has been a lot going on and a lot to adjust to, I guess it has taken a toll on my playing a lot more than I realized.”

“Hey, no, you don’t need to lie to me to save my ego, I’m not a kid, I should be able to take responsibility for my actions.” Alexia realizing that she was the root of your insecurities was, in a way, even worse then her being the reason for you passing out. And if she didn’t feel like a piece of shit before, she definitely felt like one now. It was humiliating for her, her whole career was built on empowering women in sports and yet, she was responsible for her own teammate feeling like she wasn’t a good player anymore, all because she was too stubborn and judgmental. 

She let out a breath, trying to figure out the right thing to say, although she realized there probably isn’t anything that she could say that would take away all the damage that she had caused. Still, she was determined to fix this in any way she could.

“I’m sorry, I know that a simple apology won’t fix this, that nothing I can say will fix this but I really am.” She stopped to think about what she could do to help you with this problem. She got an idea but wasn’t sure how on board you would be with it, aware that things still weren’t really perfect between you. 

“Maybe, if you wanted to, I could help you practice your shots? Maybe that could help you get a bit more confidence back, you know? You don’t have to do it with me of course! I would understand if you didn’t want to, I could ask Patri or maybe Aitana, I’m sure they would love to help, but still, it’s just an idea, you can say no if-“ 

While you were enjoying this new-found side of Alexia that apparently liked to ramble, you decided to interrupt her, for her own sake. 

“Alexia, breath.” She stopped and took a deep breath, anxiously looking down at you. 

You liked her idea, you really did, but you weren’t too sure about what it would be like to practice with her. You knew it would probably help, and that she was trying everything that she could to fix this, but you still had your doubts about her. But you did want to give her a chance, fully aware that things would never completely settle down between the two of you if you didn’t put in some work as well. So, while you weren’t totally convinced that it was a good idea you decided to agree. 

“Yeah, okay, I like that idea, I think it could really help if we practice together a bit.” You answered, maybe a bit hesitantly, which didn’t go unnoticed by Alexia. 

“¿Sí?” She asked hopefully. “Yes.” You answered a bit more confidently. 

“Vale, well, we could stay after training couple of times? If that works for you? Not for too long, maybe just half an hour?” 

You nodded, “yeah, that sounds good.” You agreed with a small smile. “We could start tomorrow?”

“Sí, perfecta.” She smiled and helped you put away the rest of the stuff. 

Although Alexia could tell that you weren’t really confident in your decision, she was glad that you agreed. It felt like a step forward, a small one, but a step nonetheless.

__________________________________________

You were a bit nervous about staying here with Alexia, to say the least. You haven’t had the chance to spend some time together without other people being there, except for when she found you crying after that match, but even that was only for a short amount of time. This would be the first time that you would actually hang out, and you were slightly freaking out. Would it be awkward? What are you going to talk about? Are you even going to talk about anything? Or are you just going to practice and that’s it? You were overthinking, a lot, and you were spaced out pretty much the entire day. The closer it got to the end of training the more nervous you got. What you didn’t know was that Alexia was freaking out just as much as you, maybe even more. She was aware that your relationship was on a shaky grounds, and she wanted this opportunity to help mend things between you two, but she was scared of the possibility of messing it up. 

Still, she approached you confidently, asking you if you wanted to take a small break and then get started to which you quickly agreed, retreating inside to cool down a little. After couple of minutes, you went back outside, seeing her set up some of the equipment so you went over to help her.

“No, don’t worry, I got it. Are you ready to start? Are you feel-“

“Alexia, I swear to God if you’re going to ask me if I feel okay, I’m going to stomp on your foot. I feel fine. If I don’t, I will tell you. I promise.” You said, trying to sound serious but you couldn’t stop a smile from forming on your face.

She laughed and nodded. “Okay, okay, I understand. So, can we start?” 

So, it turns out, that it wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. Both of you were a bit awkward in the beginning, too careful to really enjoy yourself, but as time passed you both got a bit more comfortable and by the end both of you ended up joking around and laughing together. If anyone told you a month ago that you would be spending your free time practicing with Alexia and having fun, you would tell them that they’re out of their mind. But that’s how it was. You couldn’t remember the last time you had this much fun, since you could remember football was always something you were expected to do, sometimes even pushed to do, and you loved it, you really did, but sometimes it felt like a chore, something you had to do and that took most of the joy out of it. You really didn’t expect Alexia being the one to help you find some of that joy again.

“Bien, you’re already doing much better.” She said as she passed you and lightly squeezed your shoulder. You never could’ve guessed how nice Alexia’s praise would feel, and you gave her a shy smile. 

“Thank you for this, it really helped me. I haven’t had this much fun while playing in years, so I appreciate it.” You said softly and she gave you a confused look.

“Do you not enjoy playing?” She asked, hoping to understand where you’re coming from. 

“No, I do, it’s just that sometimes there are so many bad things going on that it’s hard to not pay attention to it. So, most of the time my love for playing is just kind of shadowed by all the things people say and think about me. I try not to care about it but it’s not always easy, every time I play I always think about being good, not really about having fun. Even my dad always told me that no matter what I do, I will never have fun if I want to be the best at it.” You shrugged, not really thinking of what you said as something deep, but Alexia gave you a sad look. 

You supposed it was different for her, sure she had to face her own hardships, but to her football was everything. She loved what she did and enjoyed it every minute of every day, while you often questioned why you were still even playing at all. If it weren’t for your dad you would’ve quit years ago, maybe you would’ve never even started at all, who knows.

“I’m sorry, I wish it wasn’t like that for you. I don’t think your dad is right though, you should always enjoy what you do. Sure, it won’t be easy, but you should still have fun, otherwise there’s no point in doing it.” She explained passionately and you could tell how much love she carried for football, how she truly believed what she was saying.

“I mean, you’re right, I know that, but it was never like that for me, but it’s okay, I’m used to it.” You dismissed, not really wanting to discuss it any further. 

Although Alexia didn’t continue the conversation, you could see that there was a deep frown on her face. It looked as though she couldn’t fathom feeling like you did and being so content with it. But she could sense that you didn’t want to talk about it anymore, so she changed the topic.

“By the way, there’s going to be a teambuilding night tomorrow, at Patri’s house. I wasn’t sure if anyone let you know, you’re coming right?” 

“Oh, no, no one told me, thanks but I will probably pass.” You said sheepishly. 

“¿Por qué?”

“I don’t know, I’ve never been to one. What do you even do at teambuilding night?”

“You’ve never been to one?”

“Uhh, no. No one ever invited me.”

“You’re being serious? You never got invited to any? It’s teambuilding, the whole team is meant to be there.” 

“I mean I got invited once, back when I first started playing for my old club, but it was just out of politeness. I could tell that no one actually wanted me there, so I just didn’t go. No one ever asked why I wasn’t there, or to come again, so that pretty much just confirmed that they just asked me to not be assholes. I was never friends with any of my teammates, we were just friendly to each other, mostly for the sake of not having any drama within the team.” You explained, trying your hardest to seem nonchalant about it, while Alexia was completely speechless.

You supposed that was another difference between the two of you. She was a well-liked member of the team, respected and admired but still a favorite person to have around, meanwhile you were always an outcast. Never one to find a close friend in any team or to be invited to hang out. You always tried to act like it didn’t bother you, that you preferred to be on your own anyway, but deep inside you longed to have a team that liked you, to have someone to rely on and to have that kind of deep connection with someone. As much as you tried to pretend to be okay with it, you weren’t. No one liked to be an outcast. 

“Well, it’s not like that this time, I’m not inviting you just to be polite. So, por favor, come. I promise you will like it. We drink a little, play some games and talk about anything but football, it’s basically a small get together.” 

“I don’t know, I really don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

“Just give it a try, I promise it’s going to be nice. You won’t regret it.” 

“Okay, okay, if you insist.” You agreed, knowing that Alexia probably wouldn’t let it go until she convinced you to go. 

“Perfecta.” She smiled and waved you goodbye as you both made your way to your cars.

__________________________________________

You thanked your Uber and got out of the car, slowly making your way to Patri’s house. You were ridiculously anxious, but the thing was that you couldn’t remember the last time you actually hung out with a large group of people. You were never a popular member of any of the teams you’ve played with but you also didn’t really have any friends when you used to go to school either. You were always on your own for most of your life so your social skills were understandably pretty rusty. Sure you saw the girls almost every day but it wasn’t a hang out, you were there to train but now you wouldn’t have football to focus on. You desperately hoped that you would be able to blend in, have a drink or two and then get out without anyone noticing.

You knocked on the door and not long after the door swung open with Mapi standing in the doorway, smiling brightly at you. “Hola chica! Vamos, come in!” She ushered you in and closed the door behind you. 

“Kitchen is on the left, grab anything you want, some girls are in the living room and some are outside in the garden, just go down the hall and turn right you won’t miss it.” She explained quickly and left, and you just stood there wondering what to do with yourself. The thought of walking in and everyone staring at you terrified you and you weren’t quite ready for that just yet. 

You went into the kitchen hoping to have a moment alone and to your luck no one was there. You sat down at one of the chairs and took a deep breath, wanting to calm down a little but you were failing miserably. After a couple of minutes, you heard footsteps and not long after you felt someone slightly shaking you by the shoulder. 

You looked up and saw Alexia who once again had a concerned frown on her face. “¿Estás bien?” She asked and you nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine.” She raised her eyebrows, and you could tell she wasn’t convinced by your weak attempt at lying.

“Okay, I’m a little nervous, this is all so new to me, and it just freaks me out a little. I never went to any teambuildings or celebratory parties and I just don’t know what to expect.” You explained, not really understanding why you felt the need to explain yourself to Alexia, at the end of the day you didn’t owe her anything, but there was something about her than made you want to tell her.

“I understand but you have nothing to worry about, prometo. I know it’s all new and scary but all the girls are very nice and it doesn’t usually get too crazy when we have one of these nights.” She reassured you as sat down next to you. “We can just stay here for a while if you want to.” 

You appreciated her efforts but there probably wasn’t anything that she could say that would calm you down, this was just one of the things that you needed to get over with. So, after sitting for a short while you stood up and so did Alexia, offering you her hand to hold and against your better judgement you did. Her hand was warm and so much bigger than yours but so comforting to hold, it was a simple touch but it left you craving more. You shook your head, quickly getting rid of the ridiculous thoughts you were having. 

She’s your captain, get it together. 

You put on a brave face and walked in the direction of the living room, holding onto Alexia and praying that she wouldn’t let go. And she didn’t, even when you sat down she kept your hand in hers, silently providing you comfort when other girls would strike up conversation with you. 

You remained quiet for most of the night, though you were pretty content with that. You didn’t have anything to add to the conversation for the most part, but you were also just not as outspoken as your other teammates. Most of your anxiety was also gone and you had Alexia to thank that for. She stayed by your side and served as a calming presence to you throughout the whole night. You actually ended up enjoying yourself much more than you thought you would and you found yourself staying a lot longer than you initially planned to. 

Around midnight you stood up, claiming to be too tired to stay any longer and you bid everyone goodbye but as you were about to leave Alexia stopped you and asked, “hey, how are you getting home?”

“Oh, I was planning on taking Uber.”

“No, I can drive you.” 

“No, it’s fine, don’t worry, I-“

“Just let me give you a ride, por favor.”

You knew there was no point in trying to argue with her, so you agreed. “Fine, okay, thank you.” You smiled appreciatively and she returned the smile. 

She said goodbye to the girls that were still staying and you both made your way to her car, Alexia even opening and closing the door for you, a small gesture that left you blushing like a school girl. 

You didn’t talk in the car as comfortable silence settled between the two of you. Though there was one thing you longed to asked her. You desperately wanted to understand why she was being so nice to you suddenly, quite literally going out of her way to be kind to you and it confused you so much. You were afraid that you probably wouldn’t get a better chance to ask her than right now, so you decided to just bite the bullet and ask her. 

“Can I ask you something?”

She hummed in agreement and you took a deep breath.

“Why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden? Not that I mind, but I just don’t really understand it? You hated me and then out of nowhere you completely changed how you behaved and I just don’t get it.” 

She let out a breath, staying quiet for a while and you started to regret asking her anything. You were about to tell her to forget about it but she started talking first.

“I know it seems sudden, it kind of is, I understand. I guess that training when you fainted was a wake up call for me? I felt like I got slapped. I didn’t like you but that doesn’t mean I ever wanted to hurt you. And most of all I made a judgement about you without actually knowing you. I guess I was jealous of you, I worked my whole life for what I achieved and I felt like you got all of that with the whip of your fingers. I know now that it’s not true, and dios mío I am so ashamed of ever thinking it, but that’s what I thought. I felt like no one ever made you work for what you had and I didn’t want that for our team. I can’t tell you enough how sorry I am about it all, you did not deserve that, not from me and not from anyone else. I will do everything that I can to make it up to you, I promise.” She explained nervously, wanting you to understand how truly sorry she was about everything.

You were quiet for a while, this was probably the first time that anyone ever apologized for treating you badly, and you didn’t know what to say. You were still hurt by her actions, no doubt, but you couldn’t deny that she has done so much in the past few days to fix it. So, yeah maybe it would take you a bit more time to really be okay with everything that had happened, but you were already starting to forgive her little by little. 

You still haven’t said anything when Alexia parked in front of your home and she looked over at you, anxiously biting her lip.

 “Thank you for apologizing and for everything that you have done for me in the past few days, it all really means a lot to me.” You said sincerely as you undid your belt, and she gave you a small nod. 

With not having anything else to say you said goodbye and got out of her car, but as you were about to close the door you realized you wanted to say one last thing.

“And thank you for the ride.” You said with a slight giggle.

“No problem, see you tomorrow?” She asked with her soft smile.“Yeah, see you tomorrow.”

You smiled and as you made your way inside you realized that suddenly you were very excited for tomorrow to come, not noticing that Alexia stayed in the driveway until you got inside safely. Coincidentally, she was just as excited for tomorrow as you, maybe even a little bit more.

__________________________________________

This was NOT meant to be this long but whatever, hope you liked it anyway🤗 2 more parts to go and the story is finished🥳

@marvelwomen-simp

[plathfiles]

felix catton fic where he loves reader but she doesn’t notice <3

omggg okay so i think it would be super interesting if this fic was told in his pov. please be kind, im not great at first person. :)

pairing: felix catton x fem!reader

warnings: use of y/n, farleigh being goofy and helpful, possessive!felix, some sexual language, angst with a happy ending.

���———————————————————————

I saw her come into the library with a stack of books for Farleigh and I. Her smile lit up the room and I felt my cheeks pull into a grin.

Before she sat down at our table, I heard Farleigh say to me. “It’s never going to happen.”

I turned to him, my cheeks felt hot. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I replied, brushing off the fact of Farleigh knowing about my feelings for her.

She walked to the table, placing down the books. “You won’t believe what I found. They have first editions of all my favorite classics. It’s impressive,” she smiled.

God she was so pretty when she smiled. It made my stomach fill with butterflies.

“It’s Oxford, of course they do,” Farleigh snapped sarcastically with a laugh.

I glared at Farleigh. I wish he wasn’t so rude sometimes. I looked to y/n cheerfully, “that’s wonderful. I’m glad you found what you were looking for.”

Her big doe like eyes looked into mine. I swear she was like a breath of fresh air. I’d never seen someone shine the way she did. Y/n sat down next to me and I put my arm around her shoulders.

Y/n didn’t seem to argue or even notice. She never noticed my feelings.

“So, the pub tonight?” Farleigh asked. I nodded and now all eyes were on Y/n.

“I can’t tonight. I have a date,” Y/n said sheepishly.

I looked at her in surprise, but then of course she would have a date. She was beautiful and funny. She was smart, always helping me with my homework or studying.

“Oh?” Farleigh said, his eyebrows wiggling. “Tell us more,” he said, looking at me and then to her.

“Well his name is Evan,” she explained. “I met him in my art history course, we sit together. “He asked me out for dinner and I said yes.”

I wanted to ring Evan’s neck. How dare he steal Y/n away from me. She was mine, I love her. Woah love? Maybe. Possibly. Yes.

Farleigh was already giving her advice and I stayed unusually quiet. I couldn’t tell her it was wonderful, because it wasn’t. This was dreadful. I didn’t want to lie to her.

“Felix? Are you okay,” I hear her sweet voice ask. I look at my hand and it’s clutched tightly around my pen.

I dropped my pen and looked at Y/n. “I need to go,” I say, grabbing my books and binder. I stood up and walked out of the library.

This was maddening. How could she not see how much I cared for her? And now she has to go to stupid Evan and ruin my plans.

The next day, I stayed out of her sight. I couldn’t bare to look at her. I was jealous and heartbroken. I had assumed the date had gone well, because from my window I saw my Y/n with him.

Farleigh came to my room later that day. “You need to tell her how you feel,” he said.

I grumbled in response. “There’s no point, she doesn’t love me.”

“That’s not true. She talks about you all the time. It’s exhausting,” Farleigh whined.

“You’re being serious?” I asked, looking at him in shock. Farleigh only looked at me like I was crazy.

“Yeah,” he said rolling his eyes. “Tell her how you feel for gods sake.” He said.

“What about Evan?” I asked, although truthfully I didn’t care.

Farleigh rolled his eyes, “What about Evan, you could have anyone you wanted,” he insisted.

So I thought I would tell Y/n how I felt.

Later, she and I were hanging out in my dorm room. I was smoking a cigarette and she was reading by my window. I looked up at her from my spot on the floor and admired her. She was perfect. Her concentration was intriguing.

“Y/n,” I hummed, taking a drag of my cigarette.

“Yes, Felix,” she replied. I held back a groan at my name on her lips. It turned me on.

“I need to tell you something,” I began to confess. I put out my cigarette and I sat up, looking at her seriously.

She looked at me quizzically and I felt my cheeks go red. “I don’t like you with Evan. I don’t think he deserves you,” I said.

Her eyebrows furrowed and I walked towards my window, closer to her.

“Any why is that exactly,” she replied, putting down her book.

“It’s because—it’s because, well, I love—I’m in love with you,” I said softly, looking down her gorgeous face.

Y/n was in shock, or at least that’s how she looked. “You love me?” She asked and I nodded. Of course I loved — love — her.

She stood up from my windowsill and up at me. “I don’t understand,” she said.

“What don’t you understand? I can’t stand to see you with him, I’d rather you be with me,” I insisted.

“I can’t Felix,” she said, voice cracking.

Tears came to my eyes, “What? Why?” I asked.

She sighed, “Do you know how long I’ve waited for this? For the day when you would pluck up the courage to ask me out,” she said.

I had no idea.

“Of course I love you too,” she said, shaking her head in disbelief.

In an instant I pulled her to me and kissed her roughly. She kissed me back, her tongue entering my mouth. My body was on fire, she tasted of coffee and cigarettes — smelled of vanilla and rose.

I moaned her name as we continued to devour each others faces. She loved me and I would never let her forget it.

[amaranthineghost]

I'LL LET YOU GO IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT ( lando norris. )

lando norris x reader

a little over half a year later when the season ended, they haven't found their way back. At least not on purpose, but the universe knows better than them

authors note: I was thinking of making a happy ending, but not everything always ends up that way </3 after this, I'll work on two max imagines and then I'll see what I can do while I'm on spring break

part 1 found here

IT’S BEEN EIGHT MONTHS since she last spoke to him.

two hundred forty-three days since she last saw that sad look on his face in the rear-view mirror as she drove away from the past she half-wished was her future.

five thousand eight hundred thirty-two hours since she last felt his touch, his arms consoling and unwilling to let her go and yet she still left.

three hundred forty-nine thousand, nine hundred and twenty seconds since the peak of his performance at the beginning of the season. now she watched as he tried and failed to be what he once was. maybe not a winner, or a champion, but he’d had her, which was practically equal.

but now he had lost her.

now she watched as the season came to an end. poor performance after poor performance after poor performance where not all races ended in crossing the finish line.

she never stopped watching, yet she could never reach out, and neither would he. he was always going to be ready to accept her back into his life, yet he knew she needed time.

but she didn't know if she could do it again, though at the same time she kept eyeing his life in envy because part of her wished she could live the way he could without being bothered by the media. part of her was jealous he could live his entire life in front of a camera and be so nonchalant about it.

scrolling through his socials, they still followed each other and it caught people's attention. she read through countless tweets, theories and rumors of their relationship still carrying on behind the cameras, and though she partly wished it to be true, she hated that it wasn't. the fans still wished, and she would too.

the random appearances in the paddock had come to an end, unfortunate for the fans who loved whenever she’d show up in support of her boyfriend, turned ex.

because now all she did was stay within the confines of her apartment building, shielded from the possibility of running into lando. she couldn’t handle bumping into him when she still felt as fragile as glass. she felt like she would shatter if she saw him again, no matter how much she wanted him back.

but living in monaco means you're bound to run into someone from his circle of life.

it felt bittersweet because she wanted him back so badly, to have him hold her in his arms and tell her they’d make it work. but it’d never happened, and truthfully, she hoped it never would. because she knew that if she saw him, she wouldn’t go running back into his arms as if making it work again was the easiest option. because really, if she saw him, she would run, not towards him but away, and she dreaded the fact that he would let her.

he’d watch the love of his life run from him rather than to him and be totally fine with it. because he knew that when the time was right, she would find him again, or he would find her, and only then she wouldn’t run from him.

but he feared for the day that he would realize that she was never coming back to him. he feared for the day where he would realize he shouldn't have let her go.

and he hopes for the day, though it may never come, where she does find the right time to come back to him. he prays for the day where he would make the right choice he should've made the first time.

because in the infinite universes that are said to exist, even if she never returns in nearly every one, he hopes to live the one where she would.

but he knows that if there's a universe where she comes back, even after his idiocy of letting her go to begin with, there's also one where this could've been avoided all together. a universe where he didn't have to watch her pack her bags while shuddering with sobs.

a universe where he wouldn't have to go without her for eight months, where his performance improved when she attended grand prixs.

the one he'd rather live with her than without.

it was unsure when they would ever see each other again. they'd gone this long without seeing the other, who's to say they ever would?

it was chilly in the streets of monaco, contrast to the usually warm, sunny climate the area was known for. she wore a thick coat while she walked down the sidewalk, past the seasonal market with nothing more than her phone, wallet and tote bag.

she needed to get out, to think. she couldn't stand being trapped in the box of her apartment surrounded by nothing but reminders of him. not that it was a bad thing.

she couldn't take another second overanalyzing the helmet he had left for her. she knew it was part of his plan to have her back. to make her want more helmets dedicated to her, which he continued to do despite her not being with him. she'd be lying if she said his plan was failing.

the hoodie, probably tied into the same plan, covered in his damn cologne he knew she couldn't get enough of. it had faded over time, becoming replaced with the smell of her instead. she didn't know what to think of it.

she considered purchasing that same cologne again, drowning the fabric in its fragrance. it wouldn't be the same.

she felt like she could breathe easier with the winter air rather than the stale air of her apartment. sure, she could've stepped onto the balcony, but it was always nice to find a way out of her apartment complex.

hands stuffed in her pockets, she wandered around aimlessly at the shops that lined the streets and stalls set up to buy from.

riddled with things that caught her eye, she couldn't help but stop at nearly every stall. it took an incredible amount of self control to not buy everything she wanted. she didn't have lando by her side to buy everything.

this was her life now. she had a job that she could do from home and it paid her rent. it was enough to live off of while she completed her last years of school before she started a career for herself. tiny little trinkets seemed good in the moment, but she knew long-term that it’d eventually hurt her financially, and besides she didn’t have that much space in her apartment.

she didn’t know how much time had passed. everything was a blur as she mindlessly walked on. she hadn’t noticed when she bumped her shoulder into somebody’s chest, and she had immediately begun to apologize.

“i’m so sorry, i wasn’t looking where i was—lando?” she recognized the curly-haired guy in front of her as she stood there frozen.

“hey, long time no see,” he spoke slowly and warily, looking her up and down at the changes of her appearances that occurred over the last eight months.

“uh—what are you doing here?” she questioned, stuttering over her words just slightly as she looked at him tensely.

lando looked around with a brow raised, hands in his pockets while he answered, “uh, i live here?”

she nodded, “right.”

the air was awkward as they stood in a tense silence. people ushered around them, occasionally bumping into them. they hadn’t known what to say to each other because they weren’t expecting this impromptu meeting.

“how’ve you been?” he broke the silence.

she nodded again, “fine, and you? i saw that your season wasn’t too good.”

he grimaced softly at her words, “yeah,” he scratched the back of his neck, “just some technical issues.”

“right.”

the silence was back and more deafening than the first time, standing awkwardly looking at each other didn’t help.

again, he was the one to break it, “could i buy you a drink?”

“isn’t it a bit early for alcohol?” she questioned, looking at the brightness of the sky before her gaze settled back down at him with a weird look.

he scoffed, “i mean the coffee shop down the street,” his voice was a half chuckle as he began walking, leaving her to follow.

“well, you’re unpredictable these days,” she fell into step with him as they walked side by side in silence.

it took all of two minutes for them to arrive at the coffee shop lando had mentioned. they could smell the aroma from a ways away, the door left open to let in the cool breeze.

the shop was warm and cozy, most tables were occupied except for a few scattered around. she reached for her wallet to buy herself a coffee, but he quickly shut it down.

“it's my treat,” was all he said before he walked up to the counter with his card in hand to order as she took the two seater by the window, setting her bag down on the ground. she watched the world from where she sat, the people walking by.

groups of friends, pairs that weren’t quite at the stage of being a couple, or the single person walking by every so often. all without crossing paths. it seemed crazy to her how so much could change because of a stranger on the street.

looking back to where lando stood ordering, she wondered what her life would’ve been if they hadn’t met. they wouldn’t have traveled the world, stayed out late on rooftops, or partied in clubs despite her hesitancy. he wouldn’t have dedicated nearly his whole career to her because she was forever a piece of him.

she realized how much she had meant when she saw just how much of her he still kept. he wore shirts with printed pink bows, the one gold bracelet he wore among the silver and fan bracelets given to him by her and he never took it off. the way he styled his hair in the way she taught him, the matching rings they still wore, the references of her personality on his helmet for every race rather than a specific track, her name on his car.

her name on his car.

her name printed in pretty cursive across the top of his steering wheel and the halo for him to see.

he still managed to include her in his life despite her absence because he considered her his lucky charm. having reminders of her anywhere he could would always manage to boost his spirits, but only her presence would boost his performance.

the chair across from her pulled out with an uncomfortable scrape of the legs against the floor. she grimaced slightly, but it quickly disappeared when she refocused on the hand that slid a mug filled with hot coffee to her.

clearly they were going to be here a while, judging from the mug and not a to-go cup. she watched the steam swirl into the air as she softly blew on it while lando sat across from her with his beverage of choice. she also noticed the chocolate-chip cookie in a paper bag he held.

he remembered her love of sweets. she took a sip of her coffee. he remembered her order to the finest detail. he still remembered.

“thanks,” she spoke quietly before taking another small sip of the hot beverage. it slightly burned her tongue and throat as she drank, but she didn’t care to notice.

she was sitting across from lando norris, the one person she had been hoping to avoid this whole time, and now she’s sat with him at a coffee shop they used to frequent when they were dating.

“you’re welcome,” he muttered, his saddened eyes unmoving from her face, watching every expression of hers unfold. “so, how have you been?”

“you’ve already asked that,” she stated simply.

“i mean,” he started, leaning forward with his arms crossed against the table, “how have you really been? i don’t believe for a second that you’ve been fine when i‘m barely holdin’ it together.”

she sighed, taking another sip and grimacing at the burn, “it’s been difficult, but i know it was for the best that we broke up.”

he nodded in response, his fingers circling the rim of his mug as he stared into it.

she spoke up again, saying the words he dreaded to hear, “and i think it should stay that way.”

his shoulders visibly dropped and he bit his cheek before he looked back at her with colorless eyes, “but—” he began when she hastily cut him off.

“i need you to let me go,” her voice cracked as she spoke and tears filled her eyes as she avoided his gaze, “you have to let me let you go, lan.”

“please, don’t make me do this,” he begged, leaning forward again with a look that could make her change her mind in a second.

“please, don’t make this harder than it already is,” she shook her head as the tears began to fall, “in another universe, it might’ve been me and you, maybe the circumstances would've been in our favor, but not in this one.”

“it’s just right person, wrong life.”

“i’ll find you in our next lifetime then,” he promises, his eyes brimming with tears. he tried his best to hold back, for her, “i promise.” he tried to remain strong, for her.

“I know you will.” she said simply, smiling through her tears as she pursed her lips, sniffling as she played with her fingers. “y’know, i'll always be your number one supporter, lan. i'll still cheer for you, just from behind a screen. in that other life, i would come to your races.”

“but even in this one, i'll still celebrate your first win, your first championship. i'll vote you for driver of the day, even if you’re dead last.”

he chuckled sadly at the last part, the corner of his mouth twitching with a smile, “how will i know for sure you didn’t get bored of watching me race?” his hand reached across the table, his tan slightly faded and his rings cold.

she rolled her eyes softly, “you’ll know. i promise.” she laid her hand on his, the last somewhat intimate touch they’ll ever have with each other because after he watched her stand, pocketing the cookie he bought. he watched her through the window as she walked into the crowd as if their paths never met.

he watched with tears in his eyes, silently crying as he watched the love of his other life turn her back on him forever. he let her.

because if there was one thing he knew how to do, it was letting her go.

part of her wanted him to chase after her, wipe her mascara-stained tears just like that regretful day in their old apartment because part of her still wanted him in her life. she wished she could still go back sometimes.

he wished she would just come back. he wanted to experience life with her, he wanted to win with her, be a champion with her.

but he lived in the wrong universe, and he was unsure if he'd ever see her in this life again, in the way he wanted. they would bump shoulders on the street, looking longingly for just a second as they ushered by in a hurry. not looking back, but never forgetting how much they had meant to each other for the time they were together.

how crossing paths, even for what seemed like the shortest time to them, changed the trajectory of their lives forever. they would subconsciously look for qualities of each other in the people they moved onto. telling stories to their kids and grandkids about the other in regretful tones because they wished it was the kids they had together that they could tell the story of their relationship to.

because now they were just strangers, she was just a name he would forever keep on his car, and he was just an old lover turned stranger she would send flowers to after every podium and win until he would retire.

—

taglist (found here): @slut4lrh @taylorslovesswifties13 @leclercdream

proofread by @foreveralbon <333

[harrystylesfan2686]

Pieces Part 3

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: the aftermath of the break up has different effects on both, Azriel and Reader.

A/N: yall I'm sick🥲 the updates might be late but I'll try to post as much as possible. Hope you like this one!

Pieces Masterlist

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It's been one month.

One month of Healing.

When azriel left, I told myself that I will not contact him until I'm ready. Doesn't matter how much I'm missing him or wanting him. I will not talk to him until I know I won't take him back the second I see him again.

I gave myself two days. Two days to sulk all I wanted. I spent the whole time crying and feeling miserable about myself. Before Az left at least, I wasn't by myself. At least I saw him once a day.

Now? Nothing.

I am totally alone. His absence hit me Hard. Everything I saw, almost brought me to my knees.

The kitchen where we would make dinner together, laughing and joking with each other that many times ended with us covered in flour and syrup.

The couch where we would sit cuddling and talking until we fell asleep, always waking up with strained muscles.

His office where he would sit on his chair in front of his desk, writing out reports and whatnot while I sit in his armchair reading my book. Just enjoying each others company and occasionally taking breaks to make out on the very deck, and then some.

After those dreadful days though, I called Feyre and Mor and had a very much needed girls night. We took out a wine bottle and I spilled everything to them. My mind was too drunk to think my feelings about Elain might offend Feyre but she genuinely felt sad for me and embarrassed about her sister. The poor girl even apologised to my about Elain's behavior to which I immediately told her it wasn't her fault.

When I told them how lonely it got being alone in a big house like this, they suggested maybe I should get a job or something to keep my mind distracted and promised that they'll visit me often. So I did juat that.

I found a part time job at a local library. I have to admit, I'm really enjoying it. I'm the second assistant to the sweetest lady, Hilda, who owns the shop. I don't do much, just help her in small things like adjusting books on self or helping in shipping books out or in. Layla, the first assistant, handles most of the work around the shop. My job is basically doing what she asks of me. The salary isn't much but I don't care because it's never been about money.

The first week was very hard. Everyday after I came home, the silence felt like a slap on the face, reminding me of everything I lost.

But, slowly, I became comfortable with it. Now it's doesn't hurt me as it did before.

There were many times when I think of Azriel, tears filled my eyes, but I never let them free. I sucked them in and did anything else that didn't made me cry, like taking baths, baking my favorite chocolate brownies, reading in front of the fire place while drinking hot coco or calling my friends to take me shopping.

And as time went. I started to heal. I started to feel good, happier with myself. And without even realizing it, I started to love myself.

-☆-

Azriel

It's been one month.

One month of regretting everything I did to my mate.

I've spent my whole month sulking in this room, crying and regretting everytime I chose Elain over my wife. I haven't slept at all since I came here, just enough to keep me functioning. My appetite is gone. I don't eat unless Rhys come and force feeds me like I'm some baby.

I told Rhysand and Cassian everything the first morning i stayed here. Which earned me a flick to head by Cassian and a very disappointed look from Rhys. Even though they didn't give me any scolding(which I very much deserved), the flick and expression said enough.

Rhys has refrained me of any work, handling it himself or having someone else do it. While I have been sitting around here and hating myself. It seems like even my mind has declared itself an enemy, showing me memories of everytime I dismissed Y/N and hurt her in any way at most random times, cutting a deeper cut in my heart everytime.

"Hey Az, I was thinking if we could go out for dinner tonight? There is this new amazing restaurant I saw while walking near Sidra. I really want to try it." She told me as I put on my coat, ready to go.

"I can't, I have a mission for today. Rhys told me it's important so I can't skip. We'll go some other time. Okay?"

"Ok."

I could hear the excitement in her voice when she asked me and the hurt when I rejected her and promised to go another time. The time never came. She never asked again. And I never noticed.

"Az, are you awake?" She whispers in the dead of night. Both of us sleeping on the bed. My back to her, hoping to fall asleep quickly because I have early training tomorrow.

Cassian is spending time with Nesta more, so Rhys has told me to go to an illyrian camp to check how things are going. I have to wake and go there early to catch them off guard to see what's truly going on.

I can't do that if Y/N doesn't let me sleep.

I didn't answer her that night, hoping if i dont respond, she'll think im asleep and doesnt call me again. She really didnt call me again. I prioritized my sleep over her. Her voice sounded so small. She needed me. And I didn't care.

"So, I saw a really cute baby in garden today and..." I drone out her babbling and try to quickly I can get out of here, I promised Elain to help in her garden today. She'll be disappointed if I show up late.

"Az? You're listening to me right?" She suddenly questions, I clear my throat and answer a small, of course, she nods and takes a deep breath, not saying anything anymore. I sign in relief of the silence.

I put my head in my hands and tug hard on my hair, wanting to feel hurt, hurt the kind that she clearly felt and I didn't care.

I hate myself more and more as memories flash through my mind. I can't even cry at this point. I wished she'd hit me when we fought. Slaped and paunched some sense into me. I don't blame her at all for not talking to me. Gods, I wouldn't even blame her if she left me. I deserve it.

How do I fix this?

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Taglist: @cleverzonkwombatsludge @crazylokonugget @going-through-shit @wallacewillow0773638 @kalulakunundrum @cat-or-kitten

[fourmoony]

Hi! I don’t know if you’re taking requests right now but your writing is so beautiful and genuinely so captivating!

I was hoping for a possible angst / fluff kinda fic! With Remus x reader

Starting off how the two met in school and how they became friends so fast + the rest of the group…going onto how the two began dating in their 3-4th year at school…onto when they left school into a proposal and marriage.

Then when the war begins again is when the angst slips in..maybe how Remus finds reader under some rocks or even them protecting Remus..for them both to be together at the end with their hands holding and it’s all angsty!

If this isn’t your cup of tea that totally okay! <33

Hi lovely!! Thank you so much for requesting!!

this is heavy on the angst, little on the fluff, hope that's okay!!

remus lupin x reader | masterlist - 1.9k words

from the vaults, since writing gives me the heebies rn

cw - death

Remus remembers the day he met you; your pristine, fresh pressed Hogwarts robes, and your swotty attitude, charging down the Express like a tyrant, wielding confidence he sorely lacked. You'd been on the hunt for whoever set off the stink bomb just outside the carriage you were in (it was James, showing off to Sirius, their friendship quickly and surely bonded together with the residual smoke of that foul little rock). Remus remembers you, often, that way. Always ready to take responsibility - or force it onto others, for their actions - and do what you believed to be right.

He knew in that exact moment, with the soundtrack of James and Sirius' hysterical laughter, the smell of pure, unbridled dung lingering in the air, that you were the bravest person he'd ever known, that when the sorting hat was sat atop your head mere hours later, there'd be no pause, no debate, you were Gryffindor through and through.

The only thing Remus hadn't accounted for, was that he, too would be placed in Gryffindor - with his nauseous stomach, shaking hands, and scars that made him feel small, rodent like, a glint of gold in the window that catches the eye long enough to peak interest, but amounts to nothing worthy of attention; rather, disgust.

Remus still sees a lot of that up-tight, bossy attitude in you, now. But more than anything, your bravery prevails. The war has taken a lot from you, from everyone he holds dearest. The first time, it was hard. Bearable, because James and Lily were alive, because Sirius wasn't locked up and losing his mind in Azkaban. There was hope, because they had Harry, and nothing was going to happen to any of them because everyone had to live to see Harry grow up.

Fools. The lot of them had been fools, he realises. This time, it's different, harder. There are no friends, no family left. It's you, and it's Remus. It breaks Remus' old, cobwebbed heart to see everything that has been taken from you both. The innocence, the joy. All that's left of you, these days, is bravery. Bravery that shines so bright, like a leading light, bravery that holds him together on the bad days, bravery that pulls sad, scared Remus out of his cocoon of dread and fear, forces him into the light. You've always been good at that - at love, at protecting the people whom you love.

It's what you do. They hadn't known it at the time - and really, how could they have? - but James and Sirius set off a stink bomb outside the carriage of a young muggle-born girl, terrified of her new school, her future, what this change would do to her. The stink bomb went off and Mary MacDonald had dissolved into hysterical tears. From the moment you came into Remus' life, you've been a protector. Your heart is your leading light, your entire being, a soul so pure it'd make angels weep.

He shouldn't be surprised. Really. The minute it the south wall of the castle blows up, Remus should know the lengths you'll go to. The things you will do to make sure the people you love are safe.

There's dust and rubble everywhere, clouding his vision, choking him until he can't breathe, and in the minute before the wall crumbles around you, your body taking ninety percent of the blast, hands fast in pushing Remus so hard he has no choice but to stumble back, away, in a daze, he sees your eyes. They're calm. So calm it's unnerving. He knows everything that people will say you never got the chance to tell him. He's known since he was sixteen everything you feel for him, the love, the gratitude, the admiration.

You've had a life together. Not all of it has been good - war and death, losses and pain so unimaginable Remus wonders how either of you ever got through it. But the quiet moments, the happy moments, not marred by battle, or grave stones, weeping, or bone crushing sorrow. The moments where all that mattered was both of you, the love, the happiness; the joy Remus felt with you is nothing he ever thought he'd get to experience, would ever deserve.

He knows. He knows you love him, he knows you're okay with the choice you've just made. But he's surprised.

In all the years you've spent together - all the funerals you've attended together, planned together - he always thought that when the time came, you'd both go together. Asleep, old and decrepit. Something peaceful, after the life you'd shared.

But the blood is still thrumming in his veins, the cogs in his brains till whirring as he stares at the pile of rubble that's fallen around you. He thinks, rather foolishly, and only for a second, that you may have survived. He thinks your sheer will and determination could still be pulsing in your heart, the bravery you wear so honestly wrapped around you like a coat of armour. But the bond that ties you to him, the mating bond, the marriage bond - Remus has never known which is which, it's all an overwhelming amount of love, to him - pulls taught. It snaps, like wisps of smoke between you, and Remus breaks with it.

He breaks so fast and so hard that the world crumbles around him and he loses track of where he is, what he's fighting for. It comes out of nowhere, a flash of light, of bright green light and Remus is grateful to be spared of the agony, because it's barely been two minutes and he had already felt like he was dying, anyway. The pain is nothing, in comparison to losing you, to live in a world without your laugh, your smile, your hard-headed attitude. He couldn't have done it, and so he feels peace as he crumples to a heap on the ground.

Maybe a silly part of him thought that you'd be waiting at the other end. In a way, you are. But, also, you're not. Because he's watching you as you charge down the Astronomy Tower stairs, the fourteen-year-old version of himself hot on your heels. He remembers this like it was yesterday. He'd kept his secret from you so well until that year, when the growth spurt started and the wolf got bigger and the scars ran deeper, in more noticeable places. The one that ran across his face.

You'd been horrified, he remembers. The look of unbridled fury as you demanded to know who on earth had done such a thing. You were never horrified of him. No. Just the mere idea that someone had hurt him, and it made Remus feel loved, protected. You made him feel loved and protected.

He watches as you reach the bottom of the steps, twirling to face him with your signature unimpressed scowl. He feels fondness like a ball of sunlight in his chest, mouthing the words 'you're a dirty liar, Remus Lupin!' along with you, the sound of your posh swotty accent ringing in his ears.

He'd went back to his dorm that night and made the decision to tell you, came up with a plan, the easiest way to break it to you. You arrived at his door two hours later, half way through his idea list, and told him you'd figured it out. He knew then that he loved you. For all you were bossy and uptight, he loved you, your impatience, your brain, your heart. Remus was in love.

You fade from his view and Remus steps forwards as though he might be able to grab you, keep you there. But the sound of your voice ringing out turns him on the spot, and you're by the black lake, picking daisies with Sirius to make daisy chains. The memories come flooding through, reliving his life through the good moments and the bad. He watches you both fight, cry, makeup. Getting together was a long, painful process, too many miscommunications, missed opportunities. You never did nail down how to express any feelings other than anger and frustration.

But the moment he had you, Remus never let go.

He watches the memories flash by, remembers every one with a heart so full it could burst. A beautiful life, is what he had. Painful, marred by coldness and death and a beast in his heart that he could never tame. But it was beautiful, and it was full of laughter and love, and joy because he had you.

There's your first kiss, heated and mid argument - because back then, Remus had to rile you up enough to snap just to get a lick of emotion from you. You were brave in many ways. Emotions were not one of them. All the milestones are there, flitting past faster than Remus would like. The end of O.W.L. exams, the party that followed, the frantic, unpracticed hands that flitted over each other's bodies in a secluded hallway that night. Summers at the Potter Estate, lounging in the meadows by the cool stream, fires and empty cans of cider, laughing until his bones hurt and his eyes shone with tears.

Your first flat, old and dingy, but you'd danced that first night in the kitchen for so long that the broken heater didn't matter. You'd made it a home.

The day Remus proposed, terrified out of his bloody mind, shaking so hard he dropped the ring box and you'd yelped as the silver banded ring went flying. He saved for years for that ring. You'd said yes, tears of joy and love and elation at spending the rest of your life with him, and spent the next hour looking for the ring in the grass with the help of Padfoot.

You walking down the aisle, a vision of pure beauty, that signature smile you reserved only for Remus, who was waiting at the end wondering what on earth he ever did to deserve you.

Snippets of a life well-spent fly past in a hurry, the blink of an eye, and Remus begins to feel melancholy. The rest of eternity as a conscious soul, reliving all of his best memories, but missing you still. He wonders if you feel the same, if you're watching the best parts of your life fly by, wishing there was more time, more words, more everything.

"We wasted so much time forgetting what life was like, then." Your voice is soft, wistful.

Remus turns and you're there, lips pressed in a thin line, looking very much like you're ready to scald him for following you this far. But Remus Lupin decided a long time ago that he'd follow you to the ends of the earth, so what is death, to that?

"I never forgot. It just got hard to get back to that, I suppose." He wants to reach out and touch you, see if you're real, or a figment of his imagination.

You hum in pensive agreement, "I was always happy with you. You know that, don't you."

How could he ever doubt it? "Down to my soul."

That smile. That mischievous, knowing, loving smile that Remus knows like the skin and bone of his body. Your hand extends to him, as real as the day he took yours in his, and promised to love you until death parted you both. Your chin jerks to the white plane ahead, Remus has no idea how far it stretches or where it goes, but he follows you, anyway, hand in yours.

"Everyone's waiting for us." You tell him.

So, Remus follows you home.

[hellspawnmotel]

i LOVE ur analyses (ur noelle + ralsei ones completely changed the way i view those characters) and if u ever started a yt channel for video essays i would BE THERE. ur art has a comforting quality that can be twisted into something disturbing/raw that i rlly like and admire. i wanna know more of ur thoughts on chara. i think they killed themselves bc of their dread of humanity + they thought what they were feeling (anger/vengence) was inherent to being a human and not a monster. thoughts?

thank you, that's very kind of you!! I don't think what I have to say would be very well suited for video essays though haha, it's just my personal readings of the text and I really don't want people to look at it and assume that I'm completely right, or even that I think I'm completely right. there are tropes and themes that I get particularly caught up in and I have my very obvious biases, plus when it comes to deltarune the story isn't even done yet..... I would hate for somebody to get totally invested in my interpretation and then get mad or disappointed if something that happens further in negates it. (that and my video making/editing skills begin and end with cutting together amvs)

as for chara..... (warning this is about to get heavy, maybe don't read if you're dealing with suicidal thoughts of your own)

.....always a complex question, especially when it comes to their death. I never really want to say anything definitive about them, because well, we don't actually know, do we? but this in particular...... with suicidal thoughts and ideation, you're always looking for a way to justify it. I don't think there was one specific reason chara went down that path, because there never really is. it starts with one thought, and then all the reasons you could possibly come up with start to clump together and form an unbearable weight. I think it's significant that chara came up with "the plan" after (accidentally or not) poisoning asgore. maybe it started with the guilt of hurting somebody they loved, which grew into the guilt of 'I'm such a burden to these wonderful people, they would be better off without me' which grew into the guilt of being human at all. but they still wanted to be useful to their family, leave them with a gift.... if their death can both free monsterkind AND destroy humanity, then really it would be worse of them to NOT die. that idea would stick in their brain and become a comfort to them- it's okay, because before too long, everyone I love with be safe and happy and I'll be dead, and I won't have to feel so awful every day. this is the only way to make up for all the time they wasted on caring for me. but then, of course, everything goes so extremely wrong..... I can't imagine the anguish chara would've felt in death, for not only failing but dooming asriel alongside them. they weren't thinking about the pain it would inflict on their family even if the plan had worked, or ever stop to consider that one day they might be able to feel better, and now they'll never get a chance to see it.

I think that also nicely leads in the main routes in undertale's storyline. in one, chara is a passenger on frisk and the player's journey, and they watch frisk inconvenience everyone they meet over and over but ultimately make their lives better just by being a friend and believing in love, which mirrors chara's own life and what they failed to see in it. in the other, chara is guided into dealing with their pain in a different way, by destroying it. the world is cruel, and unfair, and it hurts the good people while the bad flourish- better to do away with it entirely. if there's no life, then there's no suffering. if chara is all that exists, they become the nexus of pain. if they have to become a demon anyway, they can learn to love it. it's all humans are good for anyway. maybe this is easier than trying to fight it ever was.

but like, it's not, obviously. being a good person is hard sometimes, and it's even harder to be good to yourself. in the end though, if you give into hate and destruction, you'll be left with nothing but emptiness. whether through harming others or harming yourself..... either way you've closed yourself off from the world and your ability to experience the beauty of life, in all its faults.

okay I think I should stop there before I get too preachy or existential LMAO I hope that answered your question though! talking about chara is a dang rabbit hole. like, you're a creepypasta-ass character from a video game, why you making me think this deep. maybe if you werent so tragic and interesting I'd get less distracted, jerk.

🌻

[ratatouillewastakendammit]

HEAR ME OUT 😭 toga!reader who grew up with katsuki and izuku, she was always insecure about her quirk bc ppl told her liking gore was weird etc and ofc kats bullied her bc of that… until she grew older, realised how much her quirk can do, joined league of villains alongside dabi… maybe dabi takes a liking to her ^^ and he understands the need for revenge all too well… 🙂‍↔️ THATS ABOUT ALL I HAVE RN!

Wait this is so fun!! I usually try to keep the readers quirk undefined because I know some people want to insert their own but tbh I loveeee gory quirks and stuff

I'll Kill 'Em, You Hide the Body

Pairing: Dabi x Reader

Warnings: language, slightly suggestive, bullying, violence, blood (ofc), also it's been a while since I've written less dialogue heavy stuff so let me know if you have any critiques!

Word Count: 2.1k

Dabi had never been a fan of Toga.

The blonde was nothing short of psychotic, which he usually didn't mind by itself. Still, she possessed an undeniable creepiness about her that had him keeping as much as possible.

Seeing that she had wormed her way into his room to jab him for blood once may or may not have exemplified his dislike.

You on the other hand?

It was interesting how you and the blonde shared similar quirks, powers of seperate sides of the same coin with minor differences on how you used them.

It was even more interesting, however, with how much different the two of you actually were.

He remembered how you acted when you had first been introduced to the League, quiet and eyes glued to the floor, words slurred from the subtle way you tried to keep your mouth closed as you spoke. Still, your efforts seemed to be in vain, the soft whites of your sharpened canines becoming revealed the second you had joined them for a meal.

In all honesty, Dabi had thought it was dumb, how insecure you were of your quirk. He had seen mutant-quirk holders with features much more abhorrent than your barely noticeable fangs.

Spinner, the giant lizard man working along with you both was an easy example.

Shigaraki had accepted you, seemingly already knowledgeable of whatever powers you possessed when Giran had brought you to the hideout, leaving everyone else in the dark.

And while the others hadn't seemed to mind, accepting your soft spoken demeanor and mystery with open arms, Dabi wasn't exactly elated to have another weakling on the team.

How the hell would he be able to trust that you wouldn't fuck up if he didn't know what you could do?

So when Shigaraki had assigned you to his group for a mission, he had scoffed, grumbling about how you were just going to get yourself killed.

You, however, had been quite the surprise.

Drawing a small knife from your boot, you slid the blade over your palm, the metal leaving a thin line of scarlet behind. He watched as the liquid pooled over your fingers before rising in the air, leaving your skin clean and untouched.

He watched, cerulean eyes wide as he took in the horrific beauty you possessed.

Blood continued to slip from your cut, each drop falling upward to amalgamate into your dreadful creation, a vine of vermilion that trailed around a group of your opponents.

When a squeeze of your fist, the ruby liquid clotted together, wrapping around the men and pulling them together into a makeshift prison. The blood, now miraculously hardened, poked at their skin, pulling at their own plasma until it was also under your control.

You used your other hand, careful not to mix the substances, before forming the material into a scythe. If one listened hard enough, they could hear the edge of the blade slicing through the air, just as deadly and graceful as its wielder.

It was almost poetic, the way you cut through your foes with the innards of their comrades.

By the end of it, a gory havoc had exploded through the room, you, just as untouched and pristine as before all of it, standing in the middle of it.

Beckoning a finger forward, you drew your own blood back toward you, the fluid snaking back under your skin and gluing the cut back together.

Toga had been absolutely obsessed with you from that moment on, hanging off your shoulder and chatting your ear off whenever you would let her.

Surprisingly, you didn't exactly seem to mind, expression holding nothing was silent contentment, the way one may look at a younger sibling or apprentice.

Dabi, on the other hand, had only grown increasingly obsessed with figuring you out.

To say you grew up isolated was an understatement.

When your quirk had first been revealed, your parents had been happy, albeit a bit taken aback by the initial grimness of it, hopeful for the unwritten future of success you had waiting.

Blood bending had quite the potential, after all.

Similarly, your friends had been enamored by the creations of your ability, eyes wide in childish wonder as you made inanimate creatures float around the classroom, one of your favorite tricks.

Your life had started to end the first day you passed out in class.

It had been a small turtledove that time, red as rubies and small enough to fit in your hand. The avian organism flying over your head was the last thing you remembered before the world went black.

Filled with panic, your parents had rushed you to the nearest urgent care, voices laced with tension as they explained the situation, even as you woke up. The doctor had done numerous tests, each more exhausting than the last.

A few days passed, filled with fear and anticipation at each time you would faint without an explanation.

'Extremely low iron' was the first thing written on the report, letters big and angry. Still, those that followed were so much worse.

The notion of having to consume some form of blood, not only to sustain your quirk, but to keep you alive, left your family in shambles.

Each of your friends began to trickle away after the news as well, most scared by the rumor that you were secretly a vampire started by some blond a few grades below you. Bakugou was his name, that of which you had learned a few days later as the bullying continued.

Whispers lined the hallway as you walked past, each hushed syllable and scowl following you like a disease.

"She'll eat you if you let her too close."

"I heard she picks people off the streets and drains 'em."

The love for gore and scary movies you had definitely didn't help your case.

Regardless, back then, you would've easily watched some romantic comedy instead of your favorite slasher film, if only it could be done with friends by your side, giggling at the dreamy love interest and cheesy lines.

And despite your desperate yearning for companionship, maybe you would've been fine if it was left at plain isolation.

The worst of it started when Bakugou convinced some of his friends to break into your locker. They had taken your lunch box and dumped the contents out in the nearest trashcan before stuffing it back in, all of which you being completely oblivious to.

When you opened your lunchbox expecting the usual sandwich and bag of chips, your eyes had doubled in horror when they met the dead bird cradled within instead.

Home could have easily been a sanctuary for you, but it soon became just as depressing as school.

Thankfully, your doctor had been able to give you meager rations of the blood donations the local hospital received weekly. Still, you began to dread each time your parents went out to pick it up from the pharmacy.

They would hand you the bag to put in the freezer, fingers barely gripping the plastic like it was a dead animal.

As far as you knew, it very well could've been.

Their complaints ran through your ears constantly, vivid descriptions of the revolted looks the nurses would give him, followed by the scattered glances of pity they might get from other parents at the store.

Once, your mother had to excuse herself from the table, silently gagging at the ruby liquid in your cup. Soon it became a regular occurrence, both leaving in disgust until you were left to eat your meals alone, food cold and room silent.

A few years inched by before they pushed you away as well, lending you money for a small apartment on the other side of town, as far away from them as possible.

By the time you turned eighteen, they had cut you off completely, giving you just enough time for all that sadness and insecurity to meld into hate.

Joining the League was the first thing you did after moving out.

Surprisingly, it hadn't taken a long time at all for Dabi to take a liking to you, the quiet admiration stemming from his initial awe at your power, regardless of how much he didn't want to admit it.

Taunting you soon becomes his favorite activity. You were unexpectedly hard to fluster, but the way your eyes would flit to the ground in embarrassment made it deliciously worth it.

Regardless, the soft blood lust burning in your eyes whenever he would push your buttons too far had his pants tightening.

It was hard to decide which reaction he liked better.

Those were the reactions he was digging for tonight, arms crossed as he leaned on your door frame, smirking at the way you had mindlessly left the entryway to your room unlocked.

It was like you were practically begging him to come in.

He had learned of your past a few hours ago from Kurogiri, the dark mass of mist and fog easily digging out the information.

The knowledge had pissed him off, sure. In all honesty, he would've happily added another U.A. brat to his kill-list, especially once he recognized Bakugou's name, the idiot being in the same class as his darling little brother.

Still, Dabi had enough self respect to consult you first.

Or, at least, he had convinced himself it was 'consulting.' Whether or not it was more accurately 'annoying you until you did something worth the regret' was none of his concern.

And it was all the more motivation if he could worm his way into your good graces.

He definitely wouldn't mind letting you play damsel if it meant winning your affection in the end.

Maybe it was the mention of that blond twerps name, or maybe that of your parents, which had your fingers curling around your pencil, your line of sight glued to the paper in front of you.

"Get out. I'm working," you said without looking up.

"You know, fucking someone up would make you feel a lot better than writing in a diary." He walked over to where you were sitting, a smirk pulling on the corner of his lips. A hand slipped over your shoulder as he bent down, the warmth of his skin kissing your own as he whispered, "Or I know some other ways of relieving stress if you want help."

You scoffed, ignoring the heat building in your cheeks at the insinuation. "Are you always this annoying?"

"Only for you, doll."

Dabi was quite the flirt, and while you were quite masterful at hiding your own attraction to the man, each amorous comment had your defenses faltering.

"I just don't know how you can let that shit fly." His touch slid lower, hands snaking low enough to rest on your thighs, his breath tickling your ear. "If it was me, they would be six feet under right now."

"You really think I don't want to?" The heels of your chair slid across the wooden floor in an unpleasant screech, your pencil slamming against the desk as you stood and turned to face him. "I think about it all the fucking time! I just..." You swallowed. "There's no coming back from that... I don't know if I can."

Silence met your unwilling confession, clashing with the pit of embarrassment growing in your stomach. An attempt to hide from the scrutiny of his stare, you moved over to sit on your bed, resting your face in your hands as the stillness enveloped you.

"Then let me do it for you."

You looked up. "What?"

"I said," Dabi slowly crept over to you, gaze locked on your own. "Let me do it for you."

The way each syllable was enunciated with cruel ardor left you shivering, your skin prickling in goosebumps as the heat radiating off his body swept closer.

"I'll make sure to leave enough pieces behind to drain, if you want."

It was almost as if he could hear the blood thrumming through your veins, your quirk begging for the violent, venegeful release that you were being promised.

That annoyingly excitable muscle in his chest jumped at the way you looked at him, eyes dancing with a mixture of desire and ferocity.

Eventually, you gave your answer, quiet, but certain.

"Okay."

[bullet-prooflove]

Can you do?:

24.You knew my past and begged me to try to love again, because it'd end different this time

With Dean Archer please

Tagging: @kmc1989 @mandy426 @mysticcandymiracle @sweetdaytimedreams @cosmic-psychickitty

The first time Dean tells you he loves you, you break things off.

You do it because this whirlwind romance is too good to be true.

Dean is the first man you’ve dated since you caught your ex-husband fucking your best friend in the ass on a sheepskin rug, and you still hear Justin’s voice ringing in your head, telling you it was all your fault.

You weren’t pretty enough, adventurous enough. You’re too unstable.

You think a man like Archer will put up with you Isobel? Justin had asked you when he’d found out about you and Dean through the Chicago Med grapevine. Have you even told him the truth about those scars?

No you haven’t and the moment you do…

Yea, Dean Archer is going to run as far away from you as possible.

So you leave him first. You leave him standing in the doorway of his apartment looking like someone has slapped him right across the face.

It’s a couple of days later that there’s a knock on your door. You’ve just come back from a run, your hair is pulled back into a ponytail and you’re wearing a Frankie Says Relax tank top over black running leggings.

You don’t expect it to be Dean, you don’t expect to see the softness in his eyes as he leans against the doorframe and asks to come in. It turns out Justin couldn’t keep his mouth shut, he just had to tell Dean how much of a bullet he’d dodged.

“So now you know everything.” You say quietly as you sit on the sofa with your palms pressed together between your thighs. “You know how damaged I am and I-”

“Isobel…” Dean interrupts you, his hand slipping into yours, clasping it tightly. “You aren’t damaged, you aren’t broken, you’re just a person who went through some really messed up stuff, stuff that would knock anyone down. The important thing is you got back up and you keep getting back up. I’m proud of you for that, I’m in awe of your strength, your perseverance. Take it from me it’s not an easy thing to do.”

He tells you about his PTSD then, about the nights he would wake up in a cold sweat, the flashbacks he’d have, the sensation of dread that would creep through his bones. It had been bad a few years ago, so bad he’d started seeing Doctor Charles. He’s better now, but sometimes it rears it’s head and those are the days he feels like he’s damaged, that maybe he’s a little broken.

“But you’re not.” You tell him urgently, your fingertips brushing over his grizzled features. “I promise you, you’re not.”

“And neither are you.” He reminds you, his hand clasping yours to his cheek, his lips brushing over your palm. “Isobel, what we have it’s real, it’s special and I don’t think we should let Justin sabotage that just because he can’t stand to see you happy.”

It dawns on you then the vindictiveness of your ex-husband. Justin has always known what buttons to press to keep you cowed, to bully you, to hurt you and this is just another way of him doing that, of making you feel like you don’t deserve good things.

When you look into Dean’s eyes, you know that you do. You know that you deserve his love, his passion, his heart and that’s why you kiss him, why you undress him, why you make love to him on the couch, his hands running through your hair as you say his name.

“So…” He says in the aftermath, his fingers combing lightly through your hair. The two of you are tangled up in one another, the blanket from the back of the couch draped over your bare hips. “We’re telling Justin to go fuck himself tomorrow right?”

“Yes Dean.” You whisper as you nuzzle in closer. “We most certainly are.”

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[exorcqism]

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ ❛ THE BLOOD PAINTER — 画家 , CHOSO KAMO

·.⌇ 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓. art; it’s a beautiful thing…when you know what you’re doing...and when the cute artsy guy who’s now your class partner is smart. wc, 2.47K. dark mode recommended.

note. i love this story ya. i was thinking about it alll day. i’m glad ya like it too. hope ya enjoy :D reblog to support meeee and lmk if you wanna be tagged in the next part

tags. artist!choso, college AU, possible nsfw, female anatomy, smoking, etc. lmk if i missed anything

misc. masterlist AO3 PART ONE

your chest tightened once you heard the words ‘get with your partners’. you reacted never positively with that statement. you dreaded working with other students in your class. the art professor had everyone paired up with a random student, to which they’d let it be known that the two of you would be partners for the rest of the semester. you had been lucky enough to be tied down with the smartass of the class…choso kamo.

you had a confused expression on your face while you seen him in complete awe at the art pieces that flashed on the terribly detailed and wordy powerpoint. you were surprised you hadn’t slammed your head against the table trying not to fall asleep.

reluctantly pulling out the cute and compact pencil case you bought last minute from shein, you grab the simple navy blue mechanical pencil out that you had been given by choso. you were trying to give it back to him previously but he insisted that you kept it, assuming that you might need it later on down the road.

you didn’t expect any less from the smartest guy in your class when you saw him already halfway done with his assignment. maybe you were exaggerating at the moment because these were basic questions just to see if you were paying attention to the powerpoint—which you barely were.

“ah, sorry, i forgot we were working together.” choso’s deep voice echos through your brain as he speaks to you, stopping his quick paced writing to let you catch up. you noticed how shy he seemed, despite his pure confidence when answering questions. choso pushed his paper in your direction and looked away, giving you time to work.

as you write, giving the male a friendly smile so he didn’t feel intimidated by your bored expression because of how tired you were, you couldn’t help but notice how his silver rings gently tapped against the wooden table. the bandaids that decorated his slender fingers on the digits that didn’t have rings. the bandage over his nose along with one stuck to his cheek. the one that covered one specific part on his wrist.

what the hell did have have so many bandages for? was he that reckless of a person that he was always getting hurt…or was this all a fashion statement? you wouldn’t be shocked if it was just for fashion. a lot of people do that, so you couldn’t judge. you’d watch as he’d adjust the nose piercing in his nose and then guide his palm into his hair, lightly scratching his head.

“here,” you push his paper back in his direction and thank him for showing the answers. the two of you finally get on track and finish your work and turn your papers into the box that reads ‘homework’ in black sharpie.

since you and choso would be partners for the rest of the semester, it was a good opportunity to get to know him as time passed….and it was also because your professor suggested that you do so.

placing your elbow on the table and your chin in your palm, you’d face your attention over to the artsy boy, who now had a small sketchbook in his possession, lightly marking the paper with his pencil, only to finally add details slightly darker.

“um…so, choso, right?” you start. the tip of his pencil snaps as he flinched upon hearing his own name. the male turned to you as his thumb lightly punched the end of his pencil to replace the broken lead.

“yeah…that’s me.” he finally replies, his eyes averting another way. he seemed to have a hard time making eye contact with you. his expression was calm and stoic. something you never seen before. “did you need something?”

“well, you know we’re partners for the semester so…what’s your hobbies?” you were damn near dying of cringe at the moment. it wasn’t the fact that you were talking to this super smart and creative guy. it was because you hardly knew how to start conversations. mentally, you curse your inability to normally interact in public.

“um..well, i’m kind of an artist. i mean, i consider myself one. i like taking pictures on the polaroid i got for christmas one year…and uh—i read a lot.” choso explains. he seemed like the typical smart guy with creative qualities and a bit shy.

“oh, that’s cool. that explains why you’re in this class.” you say. you noticed that choso would give you a faint smile, something different from his stoic demeanor.

“mhm…well, what about you?” choso queries. you bite your lip. you knew the question would come soon but not that soon. you were thinking that he’d elaborate on how much he loved his hobbies, giving you time to think of what you were gonna say yourself.

you take a breath before finally introducing yourself properly. you quietly say your name, followed by your interests and some other unnecessary details that no one asked for but you were nervous. nothing wrong with that.

choso seemed pretty attentive when you were nervously rambling about whatever came to your head. giving his input on some of the things you mentioned also. you seen choso’s eyebrows raise up when you mentioned the concept of being interested in painting, though he didn’t say anything else about it.

it was time for photography class now and choso’s first project was coming up. that wasn’t an issue for him since this was something he was heavily interested in.

reading the instructions on the paper in his mind, the little voice in his head speaking for him, he saw that he had to make a scrapbook with brand new pictures that reveal something about him.

something like a self portrait but without the drawing and the excessive erasing whenever something turns out ugly.

“that sounds like a cool project. hey, take a pic of me right now,” yuji smiled, posing into the camera. but choso shook his head.

“i’ll come by this weekend and we’ll take some pictures. i want you to be clear and in front of the camera. not goofy and pixelated.” the male replied, making yuji laugh.

“i won’t be pixelated—maybe your wifi sucks.”

“i will admit, my internet does go in and out sometimes. it’s very frustrating…but i get around.” choso leaned his back against the pillow, his head gently resting against the wall behind the bed.

“how are the others? are they well?”

“eso and kechizu are outside,” yuji would back away from the camera to look out of the window, which gave him a view of the front yard and the surrounding houses.

“they’re playing with the frisbee.”

“i’m glad they’re doing fine. have you three eaten anything?”

yuji hummed, “i wanted to try cooking but i didn’t wanna burn the place down so we’re getting takeout at that buffet you took us to back in the summer.”

“don’t touch the stove unless i’m there. i really don’t want you hurting yourself or anyone else for that matter.”

as choso and yuji’s conversation prolonged, choso began working on some homework that he had from his english and math class. yellow tinted lights surrounded choso as he used a small remote and flick on his fairy lights and his attention was focused back onto the paper, his pencil scratching lightly against it while he used his binder for support.

the next day was an off day so choso decided that he’d take a walk to the cafeteria and get breakfast. holding his backpack firmly against his back, he’d walk into the large area. the male was being casual and chose to wear a grey sweatshirt and a pair of joggers with his hair tied back into a ponytail, leaving some of his hair hanging down in the back and in his face as usual.

sneakers lightly clicking against the tiled flooring of the cafeteria, choso would grab some plasticware and a plate and he’d pick out what he wanted to eat, which were two fluffy pancakes, eggs, and two sausages. he was slightly disappointed that there weren’t any bacon that day but there was always next time.

choso wasn’t really a coffee guy but it was that or be stuck with drinking tea or water—out of everything he preferred water but he was getting older and it was about time he’d try something new.

the male was in his own world, finishing some work that he fell asleep doing the night before and reluctantly sipping the coffee. he already knew his stomach would be gurgling the entire day because of it. or because of the fact that he hated the taste so bad that he was able to force his body to reject it.

soon enough, he saw a figure situate themselves beside him. pausing his music to see who had been sitting near him, his heart nearly bursted out of his chest when he found you. a lump in his throat formed when you gave a gentle smile and waved at him.

“hey, how come you’re sitting by yourself?” you ask him as you began to eat your breakfast. you had the same items on your plate but what was different was the fact that you had some chocolate milk with you. not the drinks that the school offered. it was making him wonder where you got the carton of milk from.

“ah, i just needed time to myself. i have so much stuff to catch up on. i have to schedule a train back home to visit my brothers this weekend and my photography class is starting a project so i have to start that. i also need to be preparing for my chemistry and algebra tests.” choso explained to you in a frenzied tone. you wanted to giggle at how quick he was speaking. not to insult him but you thought it was funny how panicked he sounded.

“shit, you already have tests? your teachers must be pretty serious about their work—or they just wanna get the topics out of the way.” you take a sip of your milk. choso nods, wrapping his index finger around one of the loose strands of his ink colored hair.

“you don’t? no fair.” choso chuckled. “well, you might’ve picked some easier classes than i had. you don’t strike me as a girl that enjoys the concept of extended education.”

the comment caught you off guard but he was right. you didn’t look like the typical college girl, nor did you look like you particularly enjoyed coming to class. you were just there because you were told to go. you were just happy to find something that made you happy.

“i didn’t wanna be here at first but i got used to it.” you’d take a bite of your sausage and quickly chew it before speaking again. “my parents were insistent on me coming to college. even after i said that i didn’t wanna go, they forced me anyway. back in high school i found myself signing up for FAFSAs and all that fun stuff.”

“oh, so you don’t actually pay out pocket to come here?” he queried. “that’s good, you won’t be in debt and you won’t have to pay anything back.”

“what about you?”

“no, i’m in the same situation as you. i’ve just become keen to people not making the best choices when it came to schooling.” choso replied as he’d close his laptop, finally finishing the study guide that he was given from his chemistry class.

he spoke so proper and sophisticated. talking to him made you think you were talking to a counselor. his voice was deep but smooth like butter. somehow, he made you feel safe even though you didn’t know him very well.

you noticed how simple his clothes were compared to when he came to class or when you saw him leaving school grounds to head back into the city for who knows what. he was always well kept. even in his lazy clothes.

the cologne he wore had a smell that you knew would stick in your mind and in the memory of your nostrils for a long while. if you ever smelled it somewhere else, it’ll instantly remind you of him.

when the two of you finished your breakfast, you were about to get up and throw your plate out when choso gently took it from your hands.

“i’ll take it,” he said softly, taking the plate and stacking it on top of his. your cheeks flushed a bit when you felt his large hand brush against yours.

his skin was soft as if he exfoliated himself everyday and it had a warm, comforting sense to it. when he walked away, you started to wish he stayed there and just held onto your hand for an extra moment.

the weekend came around and choso was making his was off of the train and heading back home. once he arrived, he was barraged with greetings and yuji throwing himself into choso’s chest.

“how’s your classes?” eso queries.

“it’s—hm…well i can’t say they’re boring because i love my classes. but some can be tedious or annoying. like math. the moment i get the hang of one topic, we’re already moving on to the next. then i’ll have something new to learn.” choso replied. “and you three?”

“me and megumi hung out.” yuji said excitedly. “and then gojo sensei took us to this movie. it was so cool but megumi didn’t like it. he said it was stupid.”

“your idea of “cool” is definitely interesting.” eso chimed in.

“was it another worm movie?” choso slipped his shoes off and gently placed them on the shoe rack. yuji twisted his lips upward.

“it was not….it was a bug movie. it was about this roach that wanted to be as big as a spider. and guess what? huge spoiler; the roach got big. and i mean huge.”

“very interesting, itadori.” choso chuckled, seeming a bit amused by yuji’s odd adventures. “i’m sure the movie was good—maybe. i don’t know. your choice of movies are actually weird.”

“my choices are not weird.” yuji pouted. “you watch probably romance movies all the time…um—not that that’s a bad thing. but you still probably do.”

“if you knew me, you’d know that i’m not interested in those. they’re kinda cheesy. i’ll settle for romcoms. other than that, i watch horror and mystery.”

“yeah, you’re totally an old man.”

“i’m only nineteen….”

ending notes. IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONGGGG i’ve made like six apologies about this but yk i just don’t want ya thinking i’m neglecting this story cuz i like this more than anything i’ve ever made. headcanons are next and MAYBE street racer choso because it just popped in my head this morning. excuse any mistakes if i’ve made any. i apologizeeee. remember, comments and reblogs are much appreciated and thank you for reading.

© EXORSIIAN | © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

[felassan]

DA:TV spoilers/long post under cut.

((this post is just a bunch of random stuff/assorted lil things and thoughts from as I was leafing through my screenshots folder lately, dumped together into one post so as not to spam.))

Maybe Morrigan wrote this Codex entry? in Witch Hunt she said "Many fear change, and will fight it with every fibre of their being. But sometimes change is what they need most. Sometimes, change is what sets them free", and she is associated with grimoires, has been in the Crossroads before, etc. this note seems to explain why in DA:TV [iirc] the Crossroads no longer looks different for elves compared to how it looks for the other lineages. "an eluvian has two faces" - as an aside, this phrase or idea makes me think so much of Falon'Din and Dirthamen and their situation.. twin souls (or rather twin soul-fragments), a shadow and a reflection, parts of the same whole. like the Roman god Janus (and other deities with this trait), depicted as having two faces, in his case one which can see into the past and one which can see into the future.

Spirits/Demons of Rapacity are a new (to us) thing. maybe they are a Hunger demon or a type of Hunger demon, like how Audacity was a Pride demon? eating, consuming. but rapacity can also be the quality of covetous avarice (wealth etc), so maybe Desire? or maybe it's simply its own thing/aspect, or embodies something else (entirely possible, it sounds like the southern Thedosian way of conceptualising demons is academically out of date/old-fashioned in-world).

Envy, of course. for me this note also implies the existence of Frustration demons.

Misery is also new. maybe Despair/a type of Despair demon? or again simply its own thing.

Despair is known. Shame interested me as it reminded me a lot of the Marquis of Serault's great-grandfather, the Shame of Serault (Dragon Age: The Last Court you will always be famous). he became an abomination. he was known as the Shame because his actions brought shame on the marquisate, but what if also the demon that possessed him was.. Shame? new headcanon just dropped. yes. I love it (๑*ᗜ*) Horror also interested me. like as in a Gibbering horror, an Arcane horror, or simply the aspect/quality of Horror, which is totally something you can feel?

Some more new ones - Chaos, Disorder, Disruption spirits/demons.

Saravarin, a (likely) agent of the Dread Wolf's rebellion, who seems to use they/them pronouns. :)

The first time I noticed the broken remains of Bianca on Varric's bedside in the infirmary, I was so sad. a tale ended. and that was when I thought it was just imagery of his retirement and injury, before I knew about The Reveal.

A dwarf named Kevan Brubock invented flushing toilets!!

This scene seems to depict all of the Talons arranged up there on stage behind Illario (First, or rather representing that here at the moment), as along with Illario there's Teia (Seventh) and Viago (Fifth), but there's one model too many, since Illario is representing House Dellamorte here. that aside, neat to see that along with Teia, two of the other current Talons as of this timepoint seem to be elves. (in TN there was Giuli and Bolivar) Could the elf second from the left be Bolivar Nero? ^^ he survived TN. In TN he was described as having a long shock of white hair and wearing a suit trimmed in bear fur. that character model has long pale hair and putting them in that armor gives the impression of a fur or feather trim!

It was cool to see the new statue/asset of Mythal, and its inspirations that it has from this one found in DA:I.

Not just the appearance of the nervous system, they got a whole lil brain under there.

The Viper/Ashur is the youngest son of Corimer Vesperian, Imperial/Black Divine Aequitas II. (Corimer is such a cool name btw). below is an excerpt from the gamefiles in addition to this, game files seeming to confirm the in-world rumor:

This wall art shows Solas leaving through the eluvian at the end of Trespasser, having frozen the Qunari to stone. :')

I just thought this note/lore on Chasind beliefs and cultural practises was really neat. so in Chasind culture there is a god or other venerated figure known as the Owl-mother, She of Spring and Tide. they're known to personify the seasons as female warriors, maybe Owl-mother is the personification of Spring?

This note seems to hint at (the often fan-theorized) idea that there is some connection between the Forgotten Ones and the Forbidden Ones. (see also the Band of Three - a connection between them has been theorized by people in-world as well). on that subject,

This note is found in the chamber where Rook fights the Formless One. at this point the Formless One is in the form of a dragon (possessed dragon corpse). the "this form" therefore is dragon form. maybe the "old rivals" Formless is talking about here are the Evanuris, who the Forgotten Ones warred with, and whom the Forbidden Ones were exiled by? (btw, "For abandoning the People in their time of greatest need, for casting aside form to flee to where the Earth could not reach" makes it sound like the Evanuris exiled the Forbidden Ones during the time of the Evanuris' war against the Titans for the crime of.. not helping in the war with the Titans, and running away from it somewhere where the Titan's wrath and fury could not harm them.)

due to this, this note reminds me a lot of Ancient Elven Writing from DA:I -

"His crime is high treason. He took on a form reserved for the gods and their chosen, and dared to fly in the shape of the divine. The sinner belongs to Dirthamen; he claims he took wings at the urging of Ghilan'nain, and begs protection from Mythal. She does not show him favor, and will let Elgar'nan judge him." For one moment there is an image of a shifting, shadowy mass with blazing eyes, whose form may be one or many. Then it fades.

Here, the Evanuris forbade the divine form of dragon to a "sinner", who is hinted here by the bottom text to have had a shifting form which could have been one or many. (sounds like Formless). so the Formless One was maybe originally a slave or follower of Dirthamen's. if the other Forbidden / Forgotten Ones, or some of them, were also originally slaves or followers of the Evanuris (I wonder which?), no wonder they ended up warring with them. Geldauran for example wrote "I am Geldauran, and I refuse those who would exert will upon me." in reference to the Evanuris.

The floating items in the Regret prison in the endgame each individually representing a member of Rook's team was so [falls to knees crying.png]. oughh. masterful. this was a really neat art/design choice. :> it also made me think about my Rook and what items I would use to represent them in a similar fashion, like as a fun thought exercize.

Maybe.. the titanic claws of the Dread Wolf's wolf form? :)

This codex is found in the Heights of Athim. I was right :D

The spirit-fish in the Lighthouse Meditation room were summoned by someone and apparently require feeding, Shepard's cabin fish-style :). Maybe this argument was between Solas and Felassan?

The Lighthouse was the heart of the rebellion. interesting interpretation of the imagery there with the suggestion of its light being the light of his divinity.

At some point Keeper Hawen from DA:I stumbled through an eluvian into the Crossroads. I wonder if the bright light he saw on an island in the distance was the light of the Lighthouse.

they knew the halls would be kept by the Caretaker. could this codex have been written by Felassan?

This codex is found on the piano thing in the music room in the Lighthouse. the associated art is of Mythal. the expert hand and memories are Solas/Solas', no? and the other person in the duet, the beloved memory is Mythal/of Mythal[?] this codex put me in the mind of Codex: Birds of Fancy from Trespasser. not saying that I think the "Birds" were Solas and Mythal btw, just that it reminded me of it (fluid ancient elven memory etc).

like as in these lance-beam-looking things? from the in-game light puzzles?

For this one I just wanna say I loved this codex entry, this is how folklore and regional variations of stuff like that can work in our world too, really neat :)

assuming Seer Rowan wrote this recently, this codex seems to confirm the year in which DA:TV events are set as 9:52 Dragon, as we thought.

[mischiefmaker615]

Tennessee Orange

Inspired by: "Tennessee Orange" by Megan Moroney

Rating: PG14

Summary: Breaking the news on who your dating..

Requester: @That_Cowlover (Wattpad)

Note: She's 21+ guys

Y/N: ..mom? Pepper: Hi sweetheart! Everything okay?

Y/N: yeah yeah I’m fine- it’s just.. I wanna tell you something- but don’t tell dad! Pepper: *sighs* what is it sweety?

Y/N: so.. a.. I know you’ve raised me to know right from wrong.. and to be honest, I never thought I’d see the day but.. I met someone..

Pepper: oh my god honey that’s wonderful!

Y/N: *nervous* y-yeah..

Pepper: what’s he like?

Y/N: well- he’s such a gentleman, opens doors and everything..

Pepper: he sounds promising *smiles* where’s he from?

Y/N: *sweats* he’s not.. from where we’re from..

Pepper: ..what do you mean? *suspicious*

Y/N: I mean he’s- he’s got blue eyes-

Pepper: Y/N, what’s going on? Where is he from?

Y/N: just from far away- but he’s local.. very local.. it’s just-

Pepper: have we met him before?

Y/N: ..

Pepper: Y/N.

Y/N: ..yes..

Pepper: oh honey- don’t tell me it’s-

Y/N: mom, forgive me.. it’s just he makes me feel.. like how someone feels at home, you know? He’s different now, he’s changed since he’s here at the tower.. with us.. we even-

Pepper: Y/N.. are you talking about-

~

Plops face first on the bed with a groan, phone tossed aside as you finally end that dreadful phone call you’ve been avoiding with your mom.

‘’that went well, did it not?” Loki asked, looking up from his book in the corner with his legs crossed and an amused smile on his face from listening to the whole thing.

‘’maybe better than expected.. until dad finds out..’’ you mumble in the sheets, your body jumping a little at the sound of a book snapping shut and the slow steps coming closer to you.

‘’do you think I’ll get daddy’s approval?’’ Loki teased with a smirk, dipping the mattress beside you as he sat down and you could feel his gentle hand rub your back, making you instantly relax while your mind spun.

‘’I don’t even want to think about that..’’

“he’s to old for you honey, he also tried to kill people!”

The sound of Tony’s voice made you jump and sit up in panic, just to see Loki’s held back laugher that he had just used magic to mimic your father’s voice.

‘’you’re cruel, you know that?” you swat at his arm before you plop down on your back with your arm covering your eyes in a hopeless state.

‘’and you love me for it..’’ he purred, feeling by the movement of the mattress that both his hands were on either side of you, supporting his weight so he may hover on top with his eyes sparkling down at yours when you peaked.

‘’I could always be the one to tell him-‘’

‘’no.’’ you cut him off dryly. because knowing you, you’re the one to show him, not tell him. I’d probably be under house arrest for the rest of my life-‘’

‘’well considering I am stuck here until my community service is finished, your sentence would greatly benefit me in every possible way..’’ he chuckled and dipped his head down so he could ghost the tip of his nose against your skin, running it over your neck before he reached the spot between your neck and shoulder so he may gently press his lips down against it, making you shiver and squeeze your thighs together.

‘’you mean stuck as in sometimes we sneak out to do stuff?” you half tease and rest your hands on his shoulders while he smirked.

‘’darling if we wanted to do stuff, we wouldn’t have to leave.’’

‘’you know what I mean-‘’ you blush and look away while he continues to kiss your jawline and run a hand against your side. ‘’it’s just.. nice getting away from all this sometimes.. that’s how we met after all..’’ you smile, reminiscing while he remembers as well, raising his head to look down at you lovingly.

‘’I quite enjoyed the part where you practically couldn’t hold in your beverage the next morning when we entering the kitchen at the same time. Stark’s idea at bringing you here to keep you safe rather backfired on him, didn’t it?”

‘’I’m rather safe here, aren’t I?” you think out loud before you catch the mischief in his eyes and squealed when he lowered his head to nibble at your neck.

‘’I’d say you’re quite in danger darling..’’ he purred and nipped your soft skin, kissing at your jawline while his hands ran down to grip your sides, causing you to squirm a bit as his touch tickled you.

‘’well speaking of kitchen,’’ you giggled, getting in control of yourself while he smiles and presses his forehead to yours. ‘’let’s go find something to eat.’’

‘’are we going to pretend we aren’t lovers again?” he asked calmly while he rested a hand against your cheek, his thumb stroking against your soft skin while you lean into his touch.

‘’I wouldn’t say so.. mom probably already made the phone call..’’ you say with a hint of nervousness as you sat up once Loki did, taking a hold of your hand and helping you up to your feet.

‘’then perhaps we could-‘’

‘’keep it PG Loki, I don’t need my father having a heart attack because you’re comfortable doing things outside this room.’’ You lightly warn him and fit your shirt that had hiked up from your previous position.

‘’PG?” he asked with a raised brow, following you over to the door.

‘’I’ll explain later, basically just- water your affections down.. a lot.. a lot a lot..’’

Loki sighed and nodded, opening the door for you to step out first before he followed into the hall of the tower. ‘’very well darling, I will do my best to keep my hands to myself-‘’

‘’what the fuck?!” Tony’s voice could be heard down the halls as you both quickly booked it towards the elevator. 

DM a song for your very own Loki Musical Mischief One Shot :D

Tag List: @foxherder @asgards-princess-of-mischief @fire-in-her-veinz

[amethystfairy1]

Amethyst I love you and I hate you SOOOOOO MUCH RIGHT NOW

because in one hand OMG THEY ACTUALLY DID IT THEY SAID I LOVE YOU AND HAD SEX NO WAY

but on the other hand GOOD LORD THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS GOING IN CONCERNING DIRECTIONS

Because even in this chapter the fact that Tango was already just so upset at the thought of Zed leaving despite the fact they’ve only been together for like a week and I know it’s normal and even healthy in some ways to be possessive (trust me I’m kinda like that with my own friends) but there is just this certain irk I get every time I read some of the lines in this fic

“I don’t ever wanna let you go!” Zed declared with all the oblivious brashness he always managed. Tango felt his cheeks warming even hotter, and while he hadn’t grown anywhere close to hot enough to burn, his flares were crackling even brighter, snapping and sparking from his true feelings on the scenario.

Which were utter contentment, of course.

this was what he’d been burning for all his life

But I couldn’t care less. Because he’s touching me.

Zed was rapidly coming to the conclusion that as long as Tango was looking at him like this, he’d be whatever he liked.

Zed just wanted Tango to be happy. He was already so happy just feeling this sense of fulfillment again after so long shredded apart. So it was fine. He'd be fine.

Tango wasn’t nearly as obsessive with knowledge as his boyfriend, but if that knowledge was about his boyfriend, all of a sudden, he felt insatiable.

It was fine.

Taken.

Tiny little piece. Just a sliver, just a fraction, just something enough for Tango to cling to during his every sleepless night and know that he might finally be getting something right

he mentally beat himself up over that, he let go of Zed’s hand and spun.

How could he possibly be mad?

Some lightly scalded fingertips, after all, had landed him in this situation.

He let Tango do as he pleased.

He’d be happy with anything if Tango just kept touching him.

He chased that contact like he was starving for it because, really?

He was. 

even if that was all just novelty. And if was novelty? Then Zed would take that. He’d take anything so long as he had Tango.

wherever they ended up, heaven or hell, it didn’t matter.

I know like at least half of these weren’t written as foreshadowing and were just supposed to be cute romantic lines but fuck it when you put codependency in the tags I’m gonna overanalyse lines like these. Honestly I had a sneaking suspicion that their relationship might be a bit more obsessive than normal since Sightline Sunrise when we first had Zed describing how Tango was sealing the cracks and I was like “Hey maybe this is a bit much” but I just ignored it because I thought I was just looking too deep into things BUT NOW!!!

I can’t just ignore the constant dread I feel as I reread some of these lines but you do SUCH a good job and sneaking them into the fic that I feel like I’m stretching them most of the time and I just like “I’m reading too into this? Am I? I might be going crazy.” But you added the codependency tag????? But like no-one else is actively questioning it?????? I feel like fucking Iskall screaming into a void of nothingness with an unhinged conspiracy theory that no-one believes? I think I’m going crazy.

Screw you Amethyst and introducing me to my first ever Zedango fic and making do insane over them SCREW YOU!!!!!

Ahhhh…

Only cute lines?

You underestimate me my friend 🙃

I never promised that all these relationships would only be healthy happy fun time, I mean, you’re spot on with all of those lines you pulled. Iskall would be proud! 😆 I don’t wanna say too much and spoil where we’re headed with this, so let me just say that your concerns are…well-placed. But through it all at the heart of their big tangle of issues these two idiots DO love and care about each other first and foremost. They’ve just got…a tiny little extra sprinkle of obsessiveness in there that’s on brand for them, and that toooooooootally won’t come back to bite them in the ass later 😉

I’m so glad you’re insane about my Zedango! Thank you for this lovely ramble I can’t tell you how much I love it when people analyze my stories for stuff like this! 💖💖💖

[stranger-stevieee]

Chapter 1: The Vanishing of Will Byers

Summary: As Will Byers' older sister, you have a responsibility to protect him. When you fail, you have to go through the process of getting him back safely. Between fighting inter-dimensional monsters, a girl with superpowers, and getting your brother back, you might just end up falling in love along the way.

Pairings: Steve Harrington x Byers!reader

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings (entire series): cursing, angst, gore and violence (in the later seasons), fem!reader, enemies to lover (sorta), any other warnings from the show

—

November 7, 1983

You woke up to the irritating sound of your alarm going off. Reaching over to the nightstand, you turn it off. Dreading the idea of having to go to school today. 

After getting ready for the day, you head down the hall to the kitchen where you see Jonathan making breakfast and your Mom frantically searching around the house for her keys.

“Good morning,” you say, sitting down at the table

Looking back at you over his shoulder with a small smile on his face, he says, “Morning” 

Mom not replying until her keys are secured in her hand, “Got ‘em! Good morning sweetheart”

Walking over to Jonathan she starts saying her goodbyes before walking over to you.

“Okay, guys, I will see you tonight…where’s Will?”

“Oh, I didn’t get him up yet,” Jonathan explains

Hearing this, you jump up from your seat, a small smile covering your face as you say,  “I’ll wake him, Mom.”

“Thank you, sweetie”

Walking towards Will’s room you can faintly hear mom scolding Jonathan, “You have to make sure he’s up!” “Mom, I’m making breakfast.”

Rolling your eyes playfully you call out, “Will! C’mon, you have to get up for school! You’re gonna be late…” 

Your sentence was cut off by the sight of his messy sheets and empty bed. With a bit of panic, you ran out of the room and back into the kitchen.

“Hey, Mom? Will’s not here…”

“Did he come home last night?” She asks with a concerned expression while you and Jonathan reply with “I don’t know”

Her expression was somewhere between shocked and irritated, “You didn’t check?”

After Jonathan explained that he had worked an extra shift last night, causing him to come home late, Joyce told him that it was a very irresponsible thing to do, and she directed her attention towards you.

“And you?” 

“N-no I was out late last night too. I was working on a project,” you responded

Walking towards the phone she looks back at the both of you and says, “I can’t believe you guys!”

“It’s due today!”

She starts dialing the Wheeler house because that's where Will was last night and figured he might’ve slept over, but when she gets off the phone you can tell something is very wrong.

Your baby brother was missing.

“Okay…uh, I’m gonna go to the police station and see if they could help us in any way. You two stay here and start looking.”

—

You and Jonathan had searched the whole house, plus the shed until you eventually decide to go into the woods.

As you are about to head out, you get a knock at the door.

Opening it, you see Mike Wheeler, Lucas Sinclair, and Dustin Henderson standing there. Will’s best friends.

These boys have been there for him, basically, forever, and over time they have become like family to you. You gained 3 more brothers.

“Hey, boys… what’s up”

You already know what’s up. Every day the 3 of them show up to pick up Will and ride to school together. Only today will be different.

“Hi, Y/N!” Dustin speaks with the cutest lisp, “Where’s Will? He’s usually here waiting for us.”

You don’t have it in you to tell them the truth. That Will could possibly be missing. So instead you go with, “Oh…yeah we actually didn’t see him this morning. He probably just left early for school”

Mike, always the skeptic, asks “Early? He never leaves early. Late? Maybe, but never early”

Feeling panic rising, you immediately reply, “Well… I don’t know, Mike, just get to school.”

“Whatever,” he says walking away, the other two following behind him.

Taking a deep breath in and out to calm yourself down, you call out to Jonathan telling him your ready to head out.

—

“Will!” 

“Will, where are you bud?”

You’ve been out here for at least an hour before Joyce came back from the police station. 

“Kids!” She yells out frantically, “Did you find him?”

“No, Mom he’s not anywhere”

As she walks deeper into the woods she asks “Did you check ‘Castle Byers’?”

Jonathan replied, “Yes, that’s the first place we looked”

Completely disregarding his statement, she went towards ‘Castle Byers’ determined to find her son. 

Of course, as you both explained, once she pulled back the curtain that acted as a door, she found it to be empty.

With a heavy sigh, you immediately go back to calling for Will. Jonathan and Joyce joining you.

“Will?”

“Will! Where are you?”

This was going to be the longest day ever.

—

“Bitch!” Mom says slamming the phone down. You and Jonathan flinching in response

“Mom. You have to stay calm”

She was calling Lonnie, your dad but you refused to call him that, trying to ask him if he’s seen Will.

While Joyce goes back to the phone, picking it up to dial again, Jonathan goes back to making a missing poster for Will.

He’s making the actual poster part of it while you’re picking out the perfect picture to put on it.

During this process, there was so much going through your mind.

What if we never find him?

What if Will is hurt?

Or worse, what if he’s dead?

This is all my fault. How could I have let this happen? I’m supposed to protect him. I failed.

Your mind won’t stop running, it’s working overtime to find all the answers to all these questions.

You can’t take it anymore until you finally drop the pictures and turn to Jonathan.

“Johnny, what if he’s not ok?”

He stops his writing and looks at you saying, “Hey, we can’t think like that. He’s fine, we just gotta find him. Okay?”

You can tell he’s barely keeping it together himself but is trying so hard.

Looking up out of the front window you hear a noise. A car door. 

“Mom,” you say quietly, Jonathan quickly following with, “Cops,”

—

The chief of police and 2 other officers have started wandering around the house. Looking for anything they can that would prove as evidence.

When they arrived, Hopper had Will’s bike in his hand. Saying he found it on the side of the road, just lying there.

As they walked around you knew they weren’t going to find much. 

A mess? Maybe. But no evidence.

Because if there was anything you guys would’ve found it already.

Hopper came back inside the house saying that he called for a search party that would start soon and go well into the night. 

You volunteered to go but Joyce said she wanted all of you to stay home and get some rest.

And so you do. The three of you stay home, and while still trying to figure out the poster situation you get a call on the phone. 

Joyce rushes to answer, and while you can’t hear anything being said on the other line, you can hear her screaming frantically. 

“Will?” 

Your immediate reaction is to run over to her and try to figure out if it’s Will on the phone.

With Jonathan following closely, you both start questioning her, asking questions like “It’s Will?” and “Mom, is it Will?”

After getting nothing but frantic yelling from her, you decided to grab the phone and question the person yourself. 

But before you can, the phone suddenly lets out a bolt of electricity and Joyce jolts back dropping it.

Jonathan immediately rushes to her side asking, “Mom, was it him?”

You stand in shock looking at the both of them wondering what the hell just happened. 

“What did they say?” you ask 

She replied, saying “He just breathed. He just breathed.”

Jonathan immediately pulls her into a hug whispering “It’s ok, Mom. It’s ok,”

—

Eventually, Mom managed to fall asleep for a bit while Jonathan cleaned up the mess in the living room while you worked in the kitchen.

“We’ll find him right?” you ask Jonathan while organizing all the pictures scattered across the table

“We will. And when we do everything will be okay again.”

—

A/n: Helloooo!!! I’m so excited to be sharing this with you! I absolutely love series rewrites so I decided to make it myself to incorporate the stuff I like into one big fic. So basically this chapter has no Steve in it (😔 ik) but it just is the backstory of everything. Yk Will going missing, how the reader responds to it, all that stuff. Also, I promise the chapters will get longer. Anyways, I really hope you all enjoy and thank you for choosing to read my work! (any criticism is welcome but please be kind)