#maybe it’s bcs the others prepared before they got offered an interview

[piecksz]

starstruck | (m)

pairings: rockstar!eren yeager x fem!reader

warnings: nsfw, penetrative sex, fingering, creampie, roughness, drug use, explicit language

words: 4.4k+

summary: you and your friend decide to sneak backstage at your band’s favorite concert and the vip treatment you recieve is more than you bargained for.

inspired by 

a/n: you know the drill :p obey (with YUNGBLUD) by bring me the horizon it’s literally not a sexy song so don’t go in listening to it expectin to get horny LMAOO it’s just the kind of sound i imagined eren’s band to have, but it was sexy to me bc the image of rockstar eren tormented me the entire time i wrote this 

“I can’t believe I agreed to this. This is fucking crazy.” Your friend’s voice was a fidgety whisper behind you. Her face’s close proximity to the back of your neck had her heavy expiration fanning over your nape every time she opened her mouth to reprimand herself for allowing you to beguile her into illegal trespassing.

“You’re fucking crazy,” she whispered again, tugging the leather sleeve of your jacket with a pesky grip.

You shrugged her touch off of your arm and took a brief glimpse over your shoulder to offer her a sour look. “Can you be quiet? You freaking out is making us look suspicious.” You whisked your head back around, peering around the corner of the vacant merch tent.

“No, us creeping around to sneak onto a fucking tour bus is making us look suspicious,” she retorted.

The corner of your mouth tightened at your friend’s concern and you lifted your hand to give her a dismissive wave. You were astounded when she had originally agreed to your brazen proposal, although it took minutes of incessant pleading for her to actually give in. Her veiled reluctance surfaced the minute you two had separated from the concert’s crowd at the end of the show and snuck around the stage to the back of the venue. What began as her unease and quiet suggestions that maybe your idea wasn’t so smart, intensified into irritating nagging. You gave her the option to turn around and wait for you back at the car, but as your companion, she sighed and remarked that something so stupid couldn’t be done alone.

“I see it,” you said eagerly and with a proud grin. The vehicle was stationed a decent distance from where the two of you had been standing, but you measured the stretch with your eyes and figured that if you walked quickly enough, you’d be able to make it on without being caught.

“How do we even know they’re on it?” Your friend craned her head past yours to get a better view of what you saw.

“We don’t. I’m just guessing.”

“Oh great, that’s exactly the answer I wanted.” She released a tense and quiet laugh before retreating back behind the screen of the tent.

You surveyed the security guards as they patrolled back and forth along the premises, waiting until the coast was clear. Once you noticed an opening, you forcefully grabbed your friend’s wrist, ignoring her silent grunt of protest, and pulled her along. She stumbled into your stride and peered over at you, doing her best to follow your quick feet while mirroring your nonchalant guise.

Closer and closer, the two of you neared the tour bus until it had to have been only yards away. You tried to remain composed through your excitement, making sure you didn’t break your character. No fucking way your plan had actually gone off without a hitch, it almost seemed too easy.

“Hey!”

You kept walking. Maybe the exclamation wasn’t for you, but once the holler was thrown again, your body went rigid, and the tempo of your steps slowed until you stopped in your tracks. The adrenaline that commanded your legs had been substituted for lead and it kept your feet pinned to the ground. You couldn’t even run.

“Hey, you two aren’t supposed to be back here.”

You blinked once, long and hard, before pivoting on your heel. You watched, mortified, as a burly security guard started in your direction and got closer until he loomed over you both with a threatening advantage in height.

He looked even angrier now that you could see the way his thick eyebrows creased together and created a ripple of lines above them that disappeared into a bald head. His hefty arms were crossed against his chest while he glowered down at you two, waiting to hear a story. You could tell your excuse wouldn’t matter though, it was obvious he wasn’t in the mood for jocular conversation.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, we were looking for the bathroom,” you explained, clasping your hands together and feigning an apologetic smile. You turned your head from side to side, looking around innocently to sell your lie, and then looked back up at the guard with a nervous laugh. “And I guess it’s not here.”

Your friend shook her head and said nothing, but you were certain she was drawing up a creative speech in her head, wondering how she would tell you that she “told you so” this time.

“Nice try.” The guard curled his lip angrily. “Come on.” He reached out a thick hand and wrapped it around your bicep while grabbing the back of your friend’s shirt with a crude yank. Your eyes went wide at his hostile grip and you jerked your arm, trying to free yourself of his hold.

“Hey, whoa!” His grip only tightened. “We can walk ourselves!”

The guard forced you two forward, prompting you to walk so he could escort you off the grounds.

“What’s going on?”

You looked up and your writhing ceased. Instead, heat flushed your cheeks and you stood dazed. It didn’t take long before you recognized the owner of the voice because, naturally, you would have been able to recognize him from a mile away, but luckily you didn’t have to. He was right in front of you.

It was Eren, the lead singer and guitarist of the band you had been screaming your heart out to not even an hour ago. He was your favorite member, meaning you’d watched countless interviews and had several pictures of him saved on your phone, but nothing could have prepared you for what he looked like up close. His long brown hair looked like it was still damp with sweat, a sign of his showmanship on stage, and it framed his face in careless wisps and fell loosely past his shoulders. His torso was unclad, showing the dark inkings that adorned his biceps and stretched all the way up his shoulders until they met at the detailed design of wings in the middle of his chest. Dark ripped jeans sat loosely, just below his hips, and teased a peek at deep v-lines that ran underneath the top of his waistband.

You fought off the urge to drop to your knees and pray for how sinfully hot he looked.  

Trailing behind him were his bandmates, Armin and Jean, the band’s other guitarists, and Connie, the band’s drummer. You had never seen such an attractive circle of friends where you would have been satisfied taking any of them, and although you avowed to your friend that Connie was hers since she favored him, you absolutely would’ve allowed him to do whatever he wanted to you.

“Caught these two trying to sneak onto the tour bus.” The security guard thrusted you two ahead with an unsatisfied huff, and you shot him a glare.

Eren’s attention dropped from the security guard’s face and drifted over to your friend first before settling on you, eyes sweeping over your face and falling at half-mast. He arched an eyebrow then averted his gaze from your chest.

“It’s cool, let them go.”

“Are you sure?” The security guard’s grip on you loosened, and you pulled out of his hold the minute you felt him unhand you.

Eren shrugged. “Yeah. They can hang.” He quickly dismissed the security guard and casually sauntered past you before disappearing onto their bus.

You glanced over at your friend who looked like she was still in the process of trying to grasp the situation evolving in front of her.

“What kind of assholes turn away fans?” Jean teased, giving you a warm smile before he lifted his half-empty water bottle to his lips.

Connie switched his drum sticks to one hand and slipped them behind his back into his pocket.  “You guys are fans, right? You’re not trying to steal a couple of used water bottles to sell online are you?”

You took a lengthy pause and waited for your friend to answer, giving her an opportunity to converse with him, but she said nothing. She just rocked back and forth on her feet, staring at the ground timidly to avoid looking Connie in the eye.

“No,” you answered for her. “I mean yes, we’re fans. Big fans. No to trying to sell your DNA.”

Your response earned a chuckle from Armin and a hearty laugh from Connie while he nodded in approval. “Alright.” He tilted his head in the direction of the bus as though encouraging you two on.

You watched as the rest of the members filed inside, and then your friend seized your hand frantically.

“Holy shit. Y/N, holy shit!” She squealed, and you snorted at her sudden ability to talk once again. “You saw him right? You saw him.” It didn’t take much detail for you to gather that she was gushing about Connie.  

“Did you even see him? Your head was down the whole time, you didn’t say a single word to him.”

Your friend’s animated face slackened into a placid expression. “I didn’t trust myself. If I opened my mouth I would have asked him to put me in a headlock.” She exhaled. “Jesus Christ, those arms.” Your goading smile stretched into an amused grin, and you shook your head at your friend’s hysterical behavior.

The inside of the tour bus was much larger than you would have deduced from its seemingly modest exterior. Its floors were dark and polished wood that matched the ceiling, both surfaces lined with subdued yellow light. Aside from the sizable kitchen to your right, large leather couches sat on either side of the lounge area, and stretching to the bus’ rear were dimly lit bunk beds that were half-obscured by a dark curtain.

“Holy shit, this is a house on wheels,” your friend breathed, mouth agape.

“Well we’re on the road most of the time, so it might as well be,” Armin answered, throwing himself into one of the sofas with a labored sigh. He threw his head back in exhaustion and brought his arms up to rest against the top of the couch. “We never caught your names by the way.”

Both you and your friend introduced yourselves, forgoing a proper introduction from the band’s members. You evidently already knew who they were.

Armin smiled. “Nice to meet you guys.”

Jean shuffled through, handing you and your friend a water bottle, which you accepted with much appreciation. You hadn’t taken heed of how thirsty you’d been, and you hadn’t had anything to drink since the concert had started. Even while you swooned in the crowd between sweaty bodies, dehydration threatening to ruin your fun, you’d refused to pay $4 for a beverage.

“Make yourselves at home.” He threw another bottle to Armin.

“Oh no, we’re not planning on staying that long.” Your friend laughed, clutching onto her drink so tightly that the plastic squeaked in her grip.

You nudged her in the ribs with an assertive elbow and said her name quietly through clenched teeth, barely audible enough for the two of you to hear. She looked at you with uncertainty, and you gave her a forced grin.

“Don’t be rude. They said we should make ourselves at home.” You obliged to Jean’s invite, taking a seat in one of the leather cushions.

The situation you were in was a rare opportunity, the type of opportunity you’d only heard from other people, the type of opportunity you’d read fanfiction about in your early adolescence. If anyone told you that you’d be living such an opportunity, you weren’t sure if you’d really believe them, but had you declined to appease your friend’s irrational concern, you knew you’d regret it for years.

“Did you guys enjoy the show?” Connie leaned against the wall of the bus and wedged a rolled stick of paper between his pursed lips. He brought a hand-held lighter to the end of the stick, sparking it a few times with his thumb before a small flame engulfed the thin paper and thick smoke billowed from its tip. It only took a moment before the pungent, herbal stench of marijuana invaded the inside of the tour bus.

“Of course, you guys are amazing.” You nodded, perching yourself up in your seat and clapping your hands together excitedly. “We’ve been trying to see you guys in concert for a long time now.”

Eren fell into the seat beside you, and your body tensed up almost instantly. You’d managed to feign calmness from your first encounter because it had been easy to masquerade your nervousness from a distance, but now that he was even closer, surely he could have heard your heart palpitating against your ribcage. Its beating grew even quicker once Eren sat back and slid his arm behind you to lay it atop the backrest.

“Yeah?” His voice was languid. “What’s your favorite song?”

“That’s a hard question,” you chuckled, suddenly becoming very interested in the sleeves of your jacket. “I seriously don’t know if I can pick just one.” It hadn’t been a hard question at all, but you simply couldn’t think through the smell of his faded cologne and the feeling of his naked chest up against the side of your arm.

“That’s cool,” Eren smiled, but responded plainly. “You smoke?”

Your eyes drifted up to see Eren offering you a partially-burnt joint in between two fingers. He inhaled deeply from his hit and exhaled, a thick white cloud rolling past his lips.

You hadn’t smoked before, and you weren’t an avid consumer of weed. One edible at a party had you manic until your friends had to calm you down in a separate room and reassure you that you weren’t dying, but you still accepted it hesitantly. You brought it to your lips and took a deep draw before erupting into a fit of coughs.

“Easy,” Eren laughed, and his warm hand rubbed the nape of your neck soothingly. He took the joint from your hands and held it towards Armin.

Your chest and throat heaved with the searing sensation of a foreign substance, and your body racked with an incessant wheeze until it was sure it had expelled all of the stuff. Eren beside you thought it was the funniest thing.

“So you guys in college?” Connie asked, this time directing his question to your friend since you clearly couldn’t respond.

She nodded quickly, still avoiding making eye contact with him. He must have noticed and thought it was endearing because the corner of his mouth quirked upward into a knowing smirk.

“Sick,” Eren remarked. “I dropped out of college, but you guys should stay in school, seriously.”

“Don’t worry I have no plans to drop out and become a musician,” you rasped once your coughing subsided.

He paused for a moment and then looked at you. “What about a boyfriend?” His eyes drank you in from bottom to top until he met your clueless stare.

“Do I have a boyfriend?” You blinked, and then the tip of your ears went up in an uncomfortable heat that spread over the side of your face until your skin was aflame with realization. “No.”

“That’s good.” Eren studied you from behind heavy lids and he lingered on your lips, his own spreading into a suggestive grin. “So it’s cool if I do this?”

He leaned in and affixed his lips at the curve of where your jaw met your ear. His mouth was hot and the kiss was wet against your feverish skin. He planted another one lower, against the hollow dip where your neck curved, and then he bent the arm resting behind your head, using his hand to turn your face toward him so that when he tilted himself forward again, he could kiss you without interference. His lips were soft and slow as they commanded your mouth to follow his rhythm, and you withheld a desperate and excited whimper once Eren slipped a seductive tongue past your teeth.

He relaxed another hand on your leg, rubbing slow circles into the top of your thigh while edging closer and closer to the top of your waistband. Once his leisure fingers skimmed over your pants’ button, he skillfully undid the first hole before moving on to your zipper. You made a small sound of protest and pulled back in embarrassment.

“In front of your bandmates?” you questioned in a breathy whisper.

Eren shrugged, looking unfazed. “They don’t care. Nothing they haven’t seen before.”

Your heart twisted painfully in your chest. He was a goddamn celebrity for crying out loud, had you really thought you were the first girl he brought onto the bus to fuck? And he’d done it in front of his bandmates? You shifted uncomfortably, looking to Armin, Jean, and Connie who were now occupied with showing your friend pictures they’d been sent from professional photographers after past shows.  

“I don’t know,” you admitted timidly.

Eren rolled his head to the side, visibly bothered by your response. He glanced over to his bandmates and swept through his locks with a lazy hand. “Hey, why don’t you guys go show her the stage set before they pack up?”

Your friend looked away from the laptop they were gathered around and over her shoulder. “But—.”

Eren’s fingers trailed up and down the side of your neck, clearly eager to resume your previous matters. Were you really about to pass up this chance?

You gave your friend a reassuring thumbs up alongside Eren’s suggestion. “I’ll come find you later.”

It almost seemed like Eren sent his bandmates an unspoken cue, because Connie quickly chimed in before your friend had another turn to object. “Yeah. It’s okay, we’ll take care of you.” He wrapped a tattooed arm around your friend’s shoulder and gave her a friendly shake.

You could almost see the rise and fall of her chest cease, and you actually grew worried for her. It looked like she had nearly died and came back to life, but her stunned face melted into a flustered smile and she laughed sheepishly. “Okay.”

Connie nodded and gave Eren a two finger salute before escorting your friend off the bus with Jean and Armin following closely behind.

Once the door to the bus closed Eren shifted his attention back to you.

“There. Problem solved.” His green eyes had darkened and clouded over with desire again. “You feel better?”

“I guess,” you murmured.

You didn’t get a second chance to speak because Eren’s lips coupled to yours once more, and his hands continued against your zipper before he slipped his fingers into your underwear. He brought two fingers to your slit, skimming lightly over the delicate skin before sliding his middle finger between your folds to part them.

You released a sharp gasp against Eren’s mouth as you felt the cold metal of his rings against your cunt, but he made no efforts to pull away. The earthy taste of marijuana on his tongue caused your head to swim and you began to feel the drug’s intoxicant effects yourself. Your limbs grew heavier as you lay slack against Eren’s body while the sensation of his soft strokes against your tender clit had you whimpering against his lips.

He dipped his finger down to your body’s orifice, sliding it into your hole to glaze the digit with your arousal.

“God, you’re so tight.” Eren’s voice was deep as he pulled away from your mouth and both of you looked down to watch the way he worked you. “I want you around my cock.”

Your hips jerked involuntarily against his hand with the mention of his desire, and he brought his touch back up to your clit, using your essence as lubrication. The bus was quiet except for the symphony of Eren’s husky pants and your lewd whines as he slowly quickened the pace when he felt your body begin to tremble against his.

“Fuck, Eren—,” you mewled. You hadn’t even given thought to how unusual his name sounded coming out of your mouth. Eren, the singer and lead guitarist of your favorite band had his fingers inside of your pants, and here you were moaning his name. “Oh fuck—.”

Your orgasm intensified quickly after its onset, you hadn’t even realized you were climaxing until your body was convulsing and your fingers were digging into Eren’s biceps.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck—Eren—,” you cried.

“That’s it,” Eren cooed. “Atta girl.”

His fingers continued working against your clit until you wrapped a sweaty hand around his wrist, a silent plea for him to stop before he sent you into overstimulation.

He hummed in amusement and heeded your request before pulling his hands out of your underwear. Now he worked his hands against his own belt, unfastening the buckle before pushing his jeans down with his briefs in one swift and eager motion. His cock was half-hard and continued growing rigid after he took himself in his hand and began pumping his throbbing length.  

You watched in wonderment as his palm worked painfully slow against his thick shaft, and pearls of precum gathered at his tip before dribbling down his swollen head. Your own dirty fantasies where you’d tried to envision how big Eren was hardly did him justice.

You rose to your feet, kicking off your shoes with haste, and stepped out of your pants. You shrugged off your jacket as well, realizing how uncomfortably sticky your sweaty arms felt against the leather material.

“Come here,” Eren hummed, and released his cock. He held his hands out for you to take, and he pulled you onto his lap. He supported your waist until your knees were mounted on either side of his thighs, and you pulled your underwear to the side, allowing his pulsating tip to prod your entrance.

“You gonna show me how well you ride?” he asked, thumbs rubbing circles into your hips.

You nodded, resting your hands on his shoulders and undulating your wet folds against his cock. You released a desperate whimper every time he nudged your clit.

“Yeah? Show me.”

Eren watched as you slipped him in, and what started as a whine deepened into an obscene cry while you felt him stretch your walls out. You eased down until you sat at the base of his cock and he’d filled you to the hilt.

You dug your teeth into your lower lip, waiting to adjust to his girth before you slowly started moving up and down. Eren’s shallow breathing encouraged you while you lifted yourself up and then back down, each time releasing an agonizing sob.

“Good girl.” Eren’s large hands traveled up from your waist and rested on your chest. “Just like that.” He loosely cupped his hands over your clothed chest, adoring the way your quickening pace caused your breasts began to jounce underneath your shirt, but your ache to feel his touch everywhere along your skin became uncontrollable.

Your fingers curled around the hem of your top and you quickly slipped the material off, tossing it onto the couch beside you. You did the same with your bra, too impatient to fumble around with the pesky hooks.

Eren grinned lazily, before resting his palms against your breasts and giving them a small jiggle. He leaned forward, lolling his tongue out, and flicked its tip against the hardening bead of your nipple. He looked up at you with half-lidded eyes and smiled at the way you murmured his name before rolling his thumb over the wet skin.

“So fucking hot,” Eren praised. He gave your other breast a brisk slap, watching it shake with the impact, and then he took you in his mouth. He sucked hungrily before taking your nipple between his teeth and tugged on it.

You continued bouncing on Eren’s cock before he released a guttural groan and threw his head back. “Fuck, don’t stop.” The tattoos along his sweaty chest expanded with each uneven breath. “I’m gonna cum.”

Eren’s hands traveled down to your ass, and black-painted nails dug into your skin while he directed you up and down. You rolled your hips against him until you felt his cock jerk inside you, and then he was filling you up.

Eren unloaded himself into you and your walls fluttered around his quivering length. His balls spasmed, making sure he’d jettisoned every drop of thick, white cum. He pulled his cock out before your knees gave way and you collapsed next to him. Your pussy clenched around nothing, still adjusting to Eren’s absence, and you felt his release leak out of your hole.

You heaved, eyes strung tightly, while you desperately tried to catch your breath. You had to have been dreaming. You kept your eyes closed, fearing that you’d wake, but they fluttered open instinctively when you felt Eren’s weight lift from beside you.

“Where are you going?” You watched as he tugged his pants up and fastened his buckle before shuffling around the bus looking for something. Jesus Christ, just how much stamina did this guy have?

“Your friend’s probably wondering what’s taking you so long,” Eren replied, disappearing behind the curtain leading to the bedroom in the back of the bus.

Your hand flew to your forehead and you sat up, feeling guilty that you had completely forgotten your friend. Knowing her, she was probably worrying herself sick wondering what Eren had possibly done to you. You started retrieving your clothes and getting dressed, but you paused momentarily, calling out to wherever Eren had been on the bus.

“I should give you my number.” You stuck a leg into your pants. “You know, just to keep in touch.” You stuck your other leg in and hopped around, pulling your pants up.

Eren reappeared from behind the curtain, tugging on a fitted black t-shirt. “Don’t worry about that.”

You popped your head out from under your shirt and reached for your jacket. You laughed lightly and gave him a confused look.

“Safety and shit. We can’t give our personal information out to just anyone.” He gave you a pitiful smile, but you could tell it was more for you than for him.

“Oh,” you responded quietly.

Eren seemed unconcerned with the guidelines he was given, as though he didn’t care much about whether he even remembered your name once they were on the road again.

“Don’t look so sad babe. You’re lucky.” He tilted his head toward you and raised his eyebrows. “Not everyone gets to fuck a rockstar.”

[dastardlydandelion]

my thoughts on fear street 1666 now that i finished scrubbing all the toilets, got to go home and watch it

holy shit. that movie. wow. 

it wasn’t as fun as the other two. didn’t employ the same campy tropes. didn’t present itself in a flourish of period typical style. while i enjoyed the first two films paying homage to classic horror tropes and making the most of the stylish side of their respective environments, i am v grateful and relieved that 1666 *wasn’t* as fun as the other two and actually presented the horror of puritan fanaticism and witch accusations more srsly. imo it portrayed that grave, twisting dread that the subject matter calls for. i appreciate that bc i think i would’ve been uncomfortable if they attempted to do smth more campy with the time period given what we already knew abt the circumstances of sarah’s death even before the film. 

more of me blathering on and on abt fear street 1666 under the cut: 

the twist actually worked on me this time. they actually got me on this one, u guys. i rly watched this franchise believing sarah fier was possessing ppl and wreaking her vengeance on the town, but this whole time it was the fuckin’ goodes. nick, i never liked u, i think ur more interesting than i did before before when u were a generic as generic gets asshole, so now ur somewhat more interesting but even bigger of an asshole than i gave u credit for. ur literally the worst asshole of assholes, ur a walking infected hemorrhoidal rectum of a human being. 

don’t get me wrong, i always thought sarah was going to be portrayed sympathetically. i never doubted that. my theory was that sarah was going to be a sympathetic villain. i thought 1666 would’ve revealed why she cursed shadyside. i figured she would’ve cursed her townsfolk for turning their backs on her, maybe, or hurting/killing hannah, or using her for her witchcraft and then getting angry if it backfired on them, or smth like that. i thought we were going to watch a story abt sarah’s descent into darkness and while she’d defo be a tragic villain, she rly would be the person behind the possessions...but it wasn’t even her. she and hannah were just vulnerable to the town’s suspicion and persecution bc they were queer women who didn’t behave the way society wanted them to behave. and they were blamed for evil actually wrought by heterosexual men in power, and when sarah realized there was no way out of it, she took the blame upon herself so hannah was spared and she cursed only the goode family?? 

THAT IS SO MUCH BETTER. FUCK. THAT IS SUCH A BETTER STORY. kudos to this trilogy for being more intelligent than it ever had to be, when it could’ve just skated on the notoriety of the fear street series, the style, and billing notable cast members. 

so yeh, i defo 100% appreciated the goode men from wealthy sunnyvale being revealed as the true villains. i actually got my wish of nick getting killed in the face. i love that sarah possessed deena to do it herself!!! and deena!! oh man, i love deena so much. she was wearing a homebrew vest to protect herself made of fear street novels + duct tape, u gotta love it. ig she wanted to prepare herself since sam stabbed her at the end of 1994. on that note, she’s v active in this film for someone who has a fresh abdominal stab wound and i mean, the situation defo calls for it, but i hope she remembered to properly dress it and take a couple ibuprofen or smth. shit, i’m gettin distracted again. okay!! 

i loved errything that went down in the mall. i adore that josh and adult ziggy got more time to shine. i was so! so! happy at martin’s inclusion on the action. he deserved that after the way nick treated him in 1994. our occupations are also p similar so i defo relate to martin on that front. i loved it all the neon and blacklight stuff at the mall. that part was v stylish, that was p cool. spraying the killers with the blood so they kill each other!! yes! that was perfect!! it was incredibly practical and enjoyable for me, as a gore fan, to watch. 

i liked the sticky note on the wall at the end from deena and josh’s dad, that he had a job interview. i wonder if this is bc the curse of shadyside has been lifted with the end of the goodes?? 

yk, i feel like now knowing what we know abt the actual evil, i gotta wonder how much re-watch value there is to be gleaned from this trilogy. for example, in 1978, nick liked ziggy and didn’t want her to die. he performed cpr on her even tho she’d been stabbed a fuck ton of times and tbvh, the chances of success of resuscitation depending on what exactly it is was ziggy succumbed to seem v slim. at first i attributed this to a suspension of disbelief bc this is fiction (and to be fair crazy do happen sometimes irl, ykw, sometimes reality can surprise u) BUT now i’m sittin here like...was the cpr successful bc nick’s deal with the devil gave him the power to do that?? did his bargaining of others’ souls and offering them up for possession grant him the ability to have some control in that situation somehow? at least more than a normal human being should?? idk. it’s a thought. 

what else, what else? 

i feel like outta the three, 1666 had the most tension overall. i was p gosh darn emo abt the relationships. deena and sam’s relationship i’ve cared abt since the beginning but the contrast of them getting the opportunity to have it and be together, in parallel to the way sarah and hannah’s ended just moves u. or, it moved me at least. sarah tells hannah they’ll go somewhere and kiss in broad daylight before kissing her in almost total darkness, and then the film ends on deena and sam kissing in the sun. i was also glad deena and josh’s sibling relationship got touched on a lil bit more. thought it was cute that she tried to cook for him and produced smth that just dead ass looks inedible. i also thought it was sweet that ziggy reunited with nurse lane. she can do that now, she can leave her house without fearing the return of the curse, and she deserves it. <3

i’m impressed with the trilogy overall. each movie easily could’ve been an r-rated goosebumps episode and imo all were certainly better than that. i feel like each film was better than the previous, but personally enjoyed each one. some things were p predictable but i think much of that is intentional. 1994 and 1978 were clearly paying homage to classic slashers and familiar horror tropes. i personally didn’t find the predictability off-putting bc i recognized what they were trying to do, and felt the quality in the other elements made up for it. i was genuinely shocked by the actual villain reveal, i personally didn’t predict that. again, i always thought sarah was going to be sympathetic and i never liked nick at all, but i didn’t suspect sarah was just. dead ass *not* going to be a villain or that he was going to be the big bad. 

really dug the style of these films. loved that we got an interracial lesbian couple who made it thru the trilogy without either the predatory lesbian trope or the byg trope happening. i liked most of the characters we got to know and the only character who *rly* grated on my nerves was the villain who got stabbed in the eye. 

gosh, i want more fear street movies!! if i had to pick one outta any of the slashers featured, i’d want to see ruby lane’s story. i would like to see this production team milking the most outta the environment in the 50s, the style of the 50s, music, and whatnot. i enjoyed nurse lane even tho she was super bad at murder, so it’d be cool to see her again and who she was before her daughter got possessed and killed 7 ppl. also, ruby sings when she kills?? 

that’s weird and creepy and neat. totally down for it. 

[4dtk]

stuck with you

pairing: enemy!journalist!haechan x journalist!reader

genre: angst, fluff, humour, enemies to lovers (hope i did the trope justice tbh TT)

warnings: cursing, f words lmao, i mention stranger things a lot in this??? mainly bc i just finished watching it w a friend. i also only use ‘haechan’ when narrating the story so i don’t get confused! the timeline for this is Very Weird as well bc like i didn’t consider how long a pandemic would last…… so Uhm. pls just excuse the weird ass time sequence. also referenced yangyang’s bastard child behaviour from dream plan where he packs his things messily and kun had to mf intervene and yangyang had the audacity to go like “see, this is how u get ppl to pack for you, now i don’t have to do anything” 💀

word count: 8k (a headache to proofread...)

A/N: first time trying an e2l trope and im not sure if it was done ok??? i didn't want it to feel too rushed so i tried to spread out the days as much as i could!! i also included small snippets of their life w the other so it won’t seem like the fic is just focusing on the e2l concept! was inspired tons by the lyrics of stuck with u by ariana grande and jb, so that song is definitely something you can listen to if you read this! hope you enjoy ^^

[day 1]

"you're insufferable," you groan, reluctantly handing over the remote control for the hotel's television after some unsuccessful scrolling.

hotels never exactly had much range anyway. 

you were very much already dreading the time ahead with the male, sadly having been stuck in quarantine not even half a day with haechan. 

offering to go to a neighbouring country to report on the rising covid-19 situation, you didn't expect your rival to tag along, no doubt seeking to craft up a better story than you would.

and so, you were now nudging the remote control into his waiting palm with a roll of your eyes. you hoped it emphasised your annoyance with him even a little, standing up to prepare a cup of tea before bed. 

"are you going to keep watching television while i sleep?" you ask a genuine question, peeking at him through the mirror of the vanity that sat outside the bathroom.

he just shrugs with a tired sigh, turning his attention back to the cartoon playing in front of him. 

"okay, well, keep to your side of the bed and i'll stay in mine. we need to be social distancing, anyway."

there's a hint of "okay, loser" mumbled under his breath, but you pay it no thought as you finish your tea and brush your teeth before you skillfully set up a fortress made out of pillows.

"ow! what the hell?" 

"your leg was in the way, jeez! move it, and i'll stop annoying you," you said, putting up the last of your requested pillows beside where haechan currently sat. 

taking one last glance at haechan, you wondered when the lockdown in your country would last before they start letting people fly in. for now, you were trapped with the nightmare himself in a sad hotel room, with only a bed to share.

"goodnight," he tells you, but the sardonic way he says it irks you to the point where you settle for silence instead. the only thing that drones on are the voices of the cartoon, soon fading as you feel into a dreamless sleep.

[day 4]

"this virus thing is probably driving me insane by day, and you, lee haechan, are adding on to it!"

"no headlines, no idea what style to write in, minimal pictures-" the doorbell to the hotel room interrupts your current rant, prompting you to storm off to answer the call with an annoyed look. 

"what now?" taken aback by your quick response, the housekeeping girl retracts with downturned eyebrows and a voice hesitant to speak. your roommate comes to the rescue almost immediately when he's heard the commotion.

you watch as he sends her a smile and a wink, deflating when he's let her in to clean up the room. you're not sure why you can't keep your eyes off the both of them as they converse, blaming it mostly on your hatred for the male.

with the last of her duties fulfilled, you offer to help her with the cleaning supplies as an apology, but she cuts you off almost immediately. there's a linger in her step, however, as she walks the short hallway to the door, evident in wanting haechan to send her off as he received her.

turning back to call him, he holds up a hand as he types down his opening lines to an article, prompting you to shoot the housekeeper girl another apologetic look.

"sorry again," you mumble, letting out a sigh at how this was all playing out. day four and you were already making enemies with the hotel crew.

"maybe day forty-one is where i fall in love with lee haechan," you scoffed, perhaps listing down all the unfortunate things that could happen while you were in quarantine.

one of them was catching feelings for your rival.

rolling your eyes, you settled on the bed to catch a few Zs as he continued to work on his article, though you weren't exactly sure about the weight your words held.

[day 9]

"haechan, what is this?" you ask with an eyebrow raised, his dirty boxers barely hanging off your finger. 

haechan only groans at that, knowing you were relentless in the laundry. even in a pandemic, he was sure you'd prioritise your clothes first.

"jesus! don't go picking up my underwear just like that!" he snatches it from you, folding it neatly and placing it next to where his luggage sat. unfortunately, yours was right beside his. 

"you think just because you're doing the laundry you're able to look through a man's prized possessions-!"

your jaw drops, "it was near the sink, haechan! i don't want to look at the checkered pattern on your boxers when i brush my teeth. i don't want it near my face either." 

haechan groans yet again, running a hand through his hair in frustration before turning back to the computer, a blank document opened up in front of him.

despite gathering findings, interviewing healthcare workers and serving the public alongside frontline staff, he had deleted every attempt at writing.

there's a rumble from the bathroom, perhaps from your upset stomach or the choked pipe, but sometimes they sounded too similar he couldn't tell it apart. haechan stifles a laugh when there's a "fuck!" echoing behind the door, though unsure if he should help you or not.

when haechan hears another crash, he comes running without hesitation with a face morphed into furrowed eyebrows and a tilt of the head.

"don't just stand there, you moron!" 

haechan snaps out of his daze to assist you off the floor, swiftly helping you even more off the floor as he carries you to the bed with a stiff one arm. you notice his other hand hanging awkwardly, probably not knowing what to do with it before you feel the soft sheets under your butt.

he gets to work within a minute, fishing for an ointment and some bandages his mother forced him to bring. he remembers it as he always has: a caring mother looking out for her son, maybe a little too much sometimes. 

haechan is thankful for his mother, now, for the stray bandages laying around in his pouch.

you watch in silence as he cleans the cut with alcohol, wincing when his hand hadn't even touched your skin.

"my hand isn't even on your skin yet! jeez, calm down." 

you shake your head, holding onto his bicep to halt his arm, "just use water, please."

exhaling in exasperation, you wonder if you've pissed him off tenfold when he leaves for the bathroom with a side-eyed glance, though not hostile.

"problematic," haechan whispers, dabbing a wet cloth over the wound carefully before applying the ointment and securing the bandages. 

"your words contradict your actions so much, haechan. i never know what you're thinking." sighing, you pull your leg away from his hold after he's done with the bandages, making your way to the bathroom and leaving him in his thoughts.

"why do you want to know?"

haechan gets silence; the lock of the bathroom audibly turns to signal another wall put up between the two of you. with another frustrated groan, the boy plops down on the chair to work on his article with the right words forming in his mind.

even if he was the one who asked, he wasn't sure if he was ready to tell you.

[day 13]

"stranger things is freaking me the fuck out, man!" haechan whispered, ignoring your pleads and groans to continue writing. 

"haechan! give me the damn laptop! i don't even know why you brought an HDMI cable when it doesn't work with the television system here!"

"well, we got one that matches it, didn't we?" he said, eyes peeled to the screen that showed the young boy, will, in the upside-down.

"you mean you did!" you shoved him, ready to disconnect the devices before haechan held you back, clearly entranced by the next sequence of eleven being able to see will in a pool of salt. 

"ugh, god, i don't even know why people watch the show!" you spill with sourness, knowing the show was praised for its excellent acting and writing.

haechan raises an eyebrow, turning to you with a strangely slow speed. 

"stranger things have received multiple awards, and you didn't give any other reason. are you scared?"

when you struggle to find words, haechan laughs at his revelation, hiding his pearly whites behind his hand as he continues to make fun of you.

"yeah yeah, i'm scared! so what?" 

"'oh haechan! oh no~ i'm terrified, would you care to provide some comfort?' jeez, don't worry, man, i'll protect you." there's a cheeky glimmer in his eyes and a cocky smirk on his face which you very much want to wipe off with the disinfectant in the toilet.

"it's not all that bad, c'mon! give it a-" turning back to the tv, the sudden attack of the demogorgon lashing out at the camera has the male screaming, hiding behind your body in fear.

"you were saying, mr superman?" you deadpan, unlatching his arms around your waist as you sink deeper into the sheets with your phone in hand.

[day 17]

haechan thrashes in his sleep, almost knocking the wine glass you had in your hands when he crosses over the pillow barrier you made. 

"what in the hell-" you winced, keeping an eye on the male should he have any more outbursts that would ruin both wine night and the stuff you were working on for the article. 

with tipsy hands, your keyboard keys unconsciously write out a letter of disdain and confusion regarding haechan, the boy sleeping next to you with a cute drooling face and curly hair.

with beautiful tan skin like that, you wondered why he didn't model instead. with a voice as impressive as his, you wondered why he didn't sign a contract. with natural hosting capabilities, you wondered why didn't fucking get the place of a talk show host. 

because man, he can get pretty bothersome sometimes.

[day 20]

the next few days pass by with a breeze.

despite not knowing how the current pandemic will turn out, you find haechan more bearable, his habits being dumped in the past with a wave of a hand.

petty arguments occur, of course, until one of you brushes off the matter like nothing.

today was one of the days you won't back down.

there's worry evident on your face, eyes scanning through every last document on the stupid laptop. fingers travel fast over the keyboard as the realisation slowly dawns on you. 

with slumped shoulders, you take a deep breath before turning to the male.

"what do you mean you accidentally deleted my article? i know we're sharing the damn laptop, but we established that you stay on your files and i stay on mine."

the other waved his hand, "i did not touch any of your files, (y/n), i'm not sure what happened."

"how could you not know? what the hell? i had good content on it, but now i have to spend more hours reorganising the news and interview answers and everything else in my notes. thanks, lee haechan."

"maybe if you weren't so caught up in me trying to sabotage your place in the publication team, then you would've believed me." he shrugged, taking a seat on the one bed like nothing.

you scoffed, arms crossing across your body. "funny how you mention sabotage because a villain never reveals their motive. that's why you came with me, didn't you?"

haechan stuck his tongue out to the side of his mouth, eyes blinking and rolling like an 8-ball that it sickened you to the core.

"villain? i'm the villain?"

"was i not clear?" you hiss, stepping closer to the male.

"no, make it more precise, please. i wanna hear it word for word. spit it out, coward."

with every word, you plunged your finger into his chest, looking deep into his eyes. "you're set out to take my place for department editor, where you know i'm best at."

"and that department would be...?" he crossed his arms, looking down at you with scorn you wished you could slap off his face.

"the..." you gulp with his face all up in yours, eyes boring as he awaits your answer, no doubt losing confidence at your realisation.

"the world depart...ment? you love to travel, right?" you trail off, biting your lip in anxiety when you remember how he was on the plane. you don't exactly remember whether he was more excited or scared.

"wrong! try again."

"politics?" you propose.

haechan's face contorts into disbelief, with his mouth twisted with perplex and eyebrows furrowed. "me? politics?"

your mouth runs dry at the roadblock you've faced, and as that annoying, stupid smirk grows, your hatred for him increases by the charts.

"naming departments i'd rather die than join, running your mouth, accusing me of deleting your files..." haechan shakes his head dramatically, rolling his eyes and letting out a fat sigh.

"you think i wanna be stuck here with your infuriating ass? god, you're so entitled, aren't you? aren't you?!"

"talking like you own the place, talking like you're the only one in this world, talking like- mhfh-"

within three angry steps, you were across the room.

within three booming steps, your hands were on his face.

within three significant steps, you were kissing lee haechan.

"you never learn to shu..." with horror, you're brought back from the trance with widened eyes.

"oh, god, sorry. what. what the hell. what the fuck?" you whisper, pushing the boy away with both hands in a panic, trying to highlight your scorn for him by wiping your lips on your sleeve.

had you liked it?

the other scurried to the balcony in a frenzy while you collected yourself in the bathroom, although no amount of water could calm your nerves. 

with shaky words in bed, you both agreed to never talk about it again.

[day 25]

"hey, i can see your damn annotations on my article, (y/n). will you stop it?" haechan whines, making you second guess if he was joking or not.

for the nth time that day, you roll your eyes and proceed to sip from your cup of gin tonic that haechan desperately wanted you to try. it was... a refreshing taste, but hell, you wouldn't drink this even if it was the last beverage on earth.

"i'm just giving my feedback, be thankful i didn't bring up that stupid kiss five days ago. bleugh." 

haechan falls quiet at that, fingers lingering over the keyboard as he typed out some note with the speed of a sloth's. 

"hey, call me donghyuck. that's my actual name," he mumbles, glancing at you through his bangs while he awaits your reply.

"donghyuck? is haechan an alias?"

the boy shrugs, "i don't know, maybe. my friends gave it to me when i was younger, and i just stuck with it."

"full sun? your friend gave it to you, sure." you grin with a gesture of your hand, almost spilling the gin in the clear glass before breaking into small laughter with the other.

[day 28]

"hey! hey, what the hell?" you whisper, feeling the boy huddle up to you in lightning speed. 

"what is wrong with you?" you whisper-shout, nudging him off your body as his phone screen remains as the only thing illuminating his face.

"sorry, i- i was watching stranger things while i was shitting and after i cleaned up... i heard something and bolted out of there."

"so now you're butt naked? hyuck, ew!" you groan, thankful for the sheets that were covering your body and his junk. his reluctance to get off you didn't seem to bother you as much as earlier, but you still wished he wasn't literally naked against you.

"go put on your underwear, you big baby. i'll be here when you come out. no demogorgon is going to come out, for real."

"no no, i was watching season two and it was that big shadow thingy that freaked me out. can't you feel this poor boy shivering?" haechan sighed, eyes never leaving the corridor that led to the bathroom.

"i can, and i also can feel your dick. please get dressed, or you're sleeping on the floor," you mumble, pulling the sheets to cover your freezing body.

[day 31] 

your face hits something soft, cuddling into it even further because of its warmth before you realise there was only one other thing that would be warm in the room.

haechan.

your breath shakes, and your eyes widen as you pull yourself away from his embrace. your subtle movement leaves him thrashing around, though, and his arms tighten around your figure slowly and endearingly.

gulping, you will your hands to stay in their place, opting to freeze to death although there are hints of heat crawling onto your face.

when you wake up, you find that his hand's in yours and maybe you were searching for one wrong thing. an anomaly, an exception. it fit in yours perfectly, however, his tanned skin glowing lightly under the rays of sun filtering through the curtains.

you hoped he didn't realise the small shift of your fingers as they enclosed around his hand.

[day 32]

"what are you doing out here?" haechan asked quietly, peeking around the sliding door before joining you on the chilly balcony. it wasn't much, but it was still different and refreshing from the old, stagnant aircon air that was blowing in the hotel room.

"can't sleep," you whisper. you had your arms around your figure cautiously, as if it could protect you from all the bad, evil and terror in the world. at this point, you weren't sure what was it that you were feeling, but it sure didn't involve entertaining haechan's teasing. 

luckily, he bit his tongue from making the usual snarky remarks.

"it's two in the morning, what's up?" 

you shake your head in reply, watching the empty streets as the last light in the apartment across you switches off. sure, at two in the morning, pavements were dusty clean, and the birds were sleeping, but there would always be younger boys smoking along the road, or a drunken group of friends laughing about a past memory. 

now that the pandemic forced everyone into their homes, everything was pretty much dead. there wasn't that excitement you felt when you saw a late-night kiss shared between two lovers or the snug hug of a child to his father who was working overtime that day.

"nothing's up, hyuck, it's fine. you can get back to sleep if you want."

maybe today you two were the one causing the ruckus this time, though. haechan may have let his words slipped, and at that moment, you knew you regretted that bloom in your chest when his lips met yours.

"you're so hard to read, (y/n). i want you to be able to trust me, tell me what's going on."

"why do you wanna know anyway? so you can expose me of my bad habits and weak points?" you whisper, eyes trained on the flickering lamppost a few yards away.

"there you go again! again with the sabotage?" haechan scoffed, exiting the small space and stepping back into the room of mixed emotions.

"is this just about your feelings for me?" 

haechan laughed, "my feelings? might i remind you that you were the one who kissed me full on the lips twelve days ago? what was that all about? i wanna talk about it, even though we said we wouldn't! i wanna talk about why you hate me so much. i wanna talk about why your emotions are so contradictive!" 

your mouth hangs open as you sputter out a heated reply, but instead gets interrupted with a knock on the door. 

"keep quiet, you damn teenagers! i don't need your petty fights at two in the morning!" with padded feet, the guest returns to his room and slams the door to emphasise his complaint. swallowing, your mind goes blank as it focuses only on one question.

"why do you want to know so much lee haechan? what are you gaining out of this? if it's not sabotaging, then what is it?!" you whisper, standing your ground as with the first argument. 

your throat is clenched up, and your fists are balled up tightly with nails digging into your palm. your heartbeat races like a fast car and your breathing's laboured in the cold room. there's no movement for a second, though they feel like minutes on end as haechan struggles to answer your question.

"what is it, lee donghyuck?" you cry out again, the sparkle in your eyes shining brightly from the tears of your never-ending dispute. he wished it was from the moonlight, instead. he wished the two of you were laughing over the rim of wine glasses and sharing the mischievous glimmer of the moon in your eyes.

"it's nothing. don't mind it." the other turns to catch up on sleep, leaving you to bite your lip.

"now you're doing it, now you're the one doing it. just tell me, you dumbass!" you mumble, pulling on his pyjama sleeve and tugging you to him.

"i like you, okay! it's out there now, i like you a lot, but you make it feel like a crime to do it," haechan whispers, "whatever. fuck this."

"no- what- no, we'll talk this out." you propose, adjusting your grip on his wrist with the curl of your fingers.

the male shakes his head and snatches his arm back, "no, forget it, and i'd prefer if you left me alone, (y/n)."

even with the warmth of his body next to yours, your body felt frozen and stiff. even with the thick duvet cover over you, you felt out of place in the stale hotel room, with colour becoming black and white, they merge into grey as the moonlight shone without a care for your problems.

there's action on the balcony when your eyes flutter open in the morning, noticing the quiet way haechan observes those rushing to work as well as social distancing officers making their rounds.

his eyes look hopeful and youthful, different from the tired ones the night before, or rather, this morning. you hadn't forgotten the angry neighbour banging on the door, and you definitely hadn't forgotten about how much you've wounded haechan this morning.

with a soft knock, you let him know of your presence and you just miss the way his eyes soften at your bed hair and messy appearance. his gaze turns hard in a second as he turns back to the apartment across yours, the balcony door showing your reflection of how hesitant you were.

haechan wished he could take your hands in his and accept your apology in a heartbeat, but he stayed seated and waited for whatever you wanted to say.

"don't run off, please." there's a shameful hand on his shoulders, and he's dying to get up when he sees your downcast eyes in the reflection across the street.

"i was too caught up in getting department head that i... didn't consider other possibilities. even the possibility of you uhm... liking me. it's still a weird concept to me, especially with how much we bicker."

"i'm sorry i didn't stay to hear out your feelings and rather, i just talked over you instead. i'm not sure if you want to accept this or not, but i want to open up—about this, about your feelings and... i don't know how much i've masked my emotions, i just know that we need to communicate."

the doorbell interrupts your apology, but you internally thank the housekeeping for bringing breakfast for the two of you.

with silence over breakfast, you weren't sure how the other felt as he scoffed down the croissant and almost burned his tongue with the coffee he ordered.

[day 33] 

the boy barely watches the television and instead, reads over the article you were working on. seeing as it was already there when he logged on, he skimmed through it out of curiosity, finding that you were rephrasing the messy typos and sentences frantically on your notes.

haechan never forgot the way you were typing away on the laptop, eyes reading and rereading the sentences to make sure they made sense, to make sure they were clear to the reader. 

the argument had taken a toll on you, too. he sees it in the way your eyes sink when your words turn out choppy and lacking, he sees it in the way you lug your body to the bathroom after a late night, he sees it in the way you struggle to hold your smile while attending an interview. 

'haechan. you confuse me. i'm not...' the note below it trails off, piquing his curiosity at what it had in store.

'haechan.' big and bold letters it wrote, with a few dozen question marks below it. your writing skills shine through even in an informal note about your self-proclaimed rival, each line prompting the other to read more.

'you confuse me. i'm not sure what you're at but, it doesn't seem natural for you to tag along with someone you hate, right? that's what i was thinking too.'

'jeez, i remember hating when suyeon told me you were coming along. i didn't believe her one bit until she showed me your plane ticket and the hotel rooms next to each other. god, and when i came here, it was a day of interviewing before the damn government decided to close flights and force us into a room together.'

'i heard that other people had to be separated. i didn't know why we were the unlucky two that had to be put in a room together. i wished we didn't, almost. of course, you annoyed me when we first moved in. hogging the tv to no end, leaving your dirty underwear everywhere, running your mouth just like at our workplace.'

'i couldn't take it, maybe. sure, my brother has similar antics, but there was just something about you that just set me off, you know? i wouldn't have thought it was the opposite, or at least, i think so.'

'i'm counting the days. day 17 and i'm not sure why i feel this bubbling feeling inside me. of course, there's anger—i'm sure it's there, but there's also this other thing i get whenever i look at you.'

'my heart clenches up, and my hands become clammy, but it couldn't be a crush, right? i would've wasted my breath shouting, and my strength whacking your shoulder.' that makes haechan chuckle and look over at you where the soft light dances over your face.

'and then i started imagining. how would your arms wrap around me? how would your infuriating laughter, which somehow turned out to be so contagious, feel in the crook of my neck? yikes, that was cheesy.'

'what would it feel like if we fell in love for one night? where would you bring me and what would we eat? would we make out in your car like unruly teenagers?' 

'what would it be like to love you? it's dumb, isn't it? i don't know. i've liked this bickering thing we had going on, and it's amusing to see you one-up me. i'm not sure if i want that to change and i'm not sure if you want us to, either.'

'maybe i'm wrong, and i'm the only one in this thing. this is so stupid, writing while he's sitting next to me. i'll regret this, maybe. goodnight.'

haechan sighs, closing the device in thought, confused at the words he wasn't exactly supposed to read. had you done this on purpose? he was sharing the laptop with you...

the boy brushed it off, placing the laptop on the vanity before adjusting your side of the duvet, hoping he could find the right words. with hesitant steps, he keeps to his side of the bed, thinking, thinking, thinking. 

when he couldn't no more, haechan fell into the spell of slumber in the comfortable hotel room.

[day 34]

"tea?" he asks from the bathroom as the door clicks behind you, returning from the short hotel walk with a new keychain hanging from your sling bag.

"yeah sure, thanks." 

the water runs as he fills up the kettle as the constant whir of the aircon and the conversation on the television keeps you company in the vast quietness of the room. 

you weren't sure if you should say anything, but when you saw the dishevelled appearance of your roommate, you knew you had to bring up the argument and apology.

"haechan, about our... feelings. do you want to talk about them?" you whispered, a reply reaching your ears in the form of his spoon against the porcelain mug.

haechan hands you the drink wordlessly, sitting on the chair at the vanity before sipping cautiously at the tea. there are unexchanged glances between the two of you before he sighs at your expectant hand tapping the sheets.

"i think it's about time we did," he mumbled, dragging the laptop off the wooden table with anxiety. the other opened it without saying anything, catching you by surprise when the mouse hovers over your note.

"hae- donghyuck! no! what the hell?"

he holds up a hand and clicks on it anyway, making your heart drop to your stomach as he turned the device towards you.

"read the bottom." haechan whispers as you pull the laptop closer to you, settling it on your lap as he observed your expressions carefully.

'i read it, i'm sorry.' you look at him and lift up a hand to prepare to whack him, a defeated sigh escaping you before you carried on.

'was it wrong to read it? of course, and i cannot apologise more for doing shit like that when we still have unsolved tension between us in this small ass room. it was incorrect, but.'

'do you feel the same as me? is bickering all we have to do? why can't we work anything out? they're the questions i keep asking myself after i read your letter.'

'i guess i was too caught up in the fight and not wanting to be the loser that i... can't deny that i've never thought about wanting to get to know you, even if you were that sought out to be my destined enemy.'

'when we fought earlier, you kissed me. i know we said not to mention it, but, uhm, it was good. i liked it. i'm not sure if the reason why you did it was because of the reason you mentioned in the note, but at the time, i assumed it was to shut me up. i thought something would happen after, though you pushed me away and apologised right away.'

'it was a far off dream that i had, but i think it was after i bandaged your foot. you said that you didn't know what was going on in my mind, and i told you.'

'it was like, i was granted an insight into an alternate world, another universe where you didn't feel the strain, where you legitimately assumed i was going for your position.'

'you scoffed when i confessed, right then and there, on day 9. i was counting, too, and it was a scary, confusing dream. i think that's why i held it off as long as i could until your words puzzled and angered me further because you just didn't get it.'

'you scoffed and told me to get lost, pushing on my shoulders where we fought on the balcony for everyone to see. you never spoke to me, you never mentioned my article nor the interviews. we never joked over wine, and we always kept to our side of the bed.'

'i was convinced that heaven wanted me to stay away from you and your heart. maybe it was broken too many times, and you had someone up there looking out for you.'

'i feel like i'm copying off the textbook of some greek mythology starter pack, but i'm for real! no kidding.' you smiled, looking at him with nervous eyes at the small joke he put in.

'i guess whoever put that dream in my sleep really wanted us not to be together because i think i would've told you i liked you on the spot itself. i let my conscious get the best of me.'

'i know this is a lazy way of conveying my feelings, and i wished i could do it with words, but i feel like you wouldn't believe me otherwise. i rushed it this morning when you went on your morning walk around the hotel and when you let me know of your stroll in a soft voice, i wanted nothing more than to get you in my arms as we wake up to the housekeeping service.'

'i didn't want any more tension between us, and i didn't want to be interrupted by your alarm while we avoid each other more. it hurts seeing you escape the room in haste. you said it was weird for me to tag along with someone i hate, too, and that someone was you. i guess you found out why.'

looking up, you found him right in front of you, mouth dry from his reply to your letter. with a gulp, you leaned forward to meet his lips halfway.

"i'm sorry to whoever's up there," he whispers, prompting a grin and a laugh out of you.

the laptop is forgotten on the bed as haechan situates himself over you, clutching your shoulder gently while his lips move quickly, fast to make up for lost time. 

"wait wait, wait, you're not playing me, are you?" you mumble in return, reluctantly pulling away while witnessing the way his eyes soften at your guard still up. haechan shakes his head forlornly, tongue pressing up against the side of his mouth nervously.

"no, i'm not, (y/n)," he says quietly with as much sincerity he can muster, removing his hand from your shoulder with a forced smile. 

"okay." there's a shakiness to your voice, but when you bring his lips back to yours, it gives you a rush of confidence. your skin is burning up, and your hands can't stop wandering as his lips capture yours, repeatedly moving against yours like a trance.

you grant haechan access to your mouth with a whimper, melting into his embrace as his arms wrap tighter around your figure. his eagerness lingers when he pushes forward, straddling your lap as his leg nudges the laptop.

"wait, hyuck, wait, the laptop!" you joke, placing the device on the floor before getting back into the kiss with just as much fervour. within a minute or so, the other breaks away to say the words you so hated to hear:

"we... we need to talk. we can't just kiss the fight off, although i very much like to," haechan murmurs the last part, making you stifle a smile. 

you nod quickly, repeating the word "okay" like a robot. your hands naturally travel from his arms down to his fingers, and you clutch them like your life depended on it.

"we have... established, that i like you, correct?" haechan whispers, scooting closer as his tea-ridden breath surrounds you. from here, you could even smell the buttered croissant he ate this morning.

it made you smile, something simple as that.

"why- why are you laughing (y/n)?" he asks anxiously, eyes darting to find the reason why you found this so funny.

"no. no no no, i'm thinking of... the croissant you ate just now, and," you sigh, resting your head on his broad shoulder. 

"i'm thinking of the way your eyes light up when you show me the articles you idolise so much, and i'm thinking of the way you cuddle up to me whenever we watch stranger things." 

"i'm thinking of the way you thought i wouldn't give you a chance, even though i've been pondering on the same thing as you. i'm thinking of the things that make up lee haechan, lee donghyuck. yes, you like me, and yes i like you, but i guess i haven't told you the reason."

"i hated you, i really did. i found every reason to convince my mind to hate you. gaining trust, signing up for events you didn't know shit about, sucking up to the seniors, stealing my friends when they didn't know your personality. the personality i didn't even want to know because i was too busy in my little bubble."

"assuming you'd want to get department head was the cherry on top, because why else would you want to tag along? that was the factor that convinced me and confirmed my suspicions from day one."

you grunt in opposition, clearly not liking the truth that was spilling from your lips. haechan deserved to know, however. you kept your eyes trained on his lap where his hands were holding yours in support, crumbling from the blindness that caused your hatred. 

"so from then, the plane ride, immigration, the cab to the interview place, the cab back, the hotel room, my hatred for you boiled over." you listed, voice breaking as you looked haechan in the eye. 

"it was stupid of me to assume, to assume the worst of you when i didn't even know you. i wasn't even sure why i felt so bitter looking at you, but the way you acted, the way you whined, worked me up so much that i figured that was how you were."

"now when i'm sitting here with the curtains drawn, i can see why you're so attractable and easy to talk to and easy-going and bright that my friends keep talking to you."

"i can see why the seniors turn to you because you're reliable and hardworking without uttering a single word."

"i can see why you wanted to hop on this flight with me because you're always curious about the world and how you can expand your skill set."

and as you said word after word, haechan observes you with a soothing hand against your forearms. his eyes shine for a different reason, for the lost time he could've had if the two of you didn't have this massive barrier. a massive barrier that's been up for the longest time. 

brick by brick, the wall is being torn down. as you hold haechan's face in the stillness of the room, you feel closer to him than you've ever felt and his tears match your frustrated ones. 

choking on sobs, delayed apologies were all you could whisper.

"i'm sorry, i'm sorry, really. we fought so bad that day, and i was so goddamn insensitive..." you sigh, swallowing a lump when his hand reached up to wipe the tears. with a blocked nose, you breathe shakily as housekeeping interrupts the moment. 

you nod towards the door as he stood up slowly to reveal the same housekeeping girl. she cleaned up the bathroom and wardrobe quietly as the two of you stood awkwardly in the small space. she had left the sheets since everyone was practically stuck in, anyway.

haechan nudges you toward the door with a shove, shooting the same housekeeping girl a small smile and a bow as an apology to the previous run-in.

"he confessed his feelings?" she inquired softly, noticing the tear marks on your face.

you bit your lip, "yeah."

"that's good, he's finally not a coward." she laughs, folding the used towels and placing them with her.

you leaned against the door, asking for an explanation with your puzzled look.

"he was someone i liked, before. we had classes back in high school. it was just a dumb crush, honestly." the housekeeping girl shrugs, resting her head on her fist in thought.

"i think he liked me, and i did too, but we didn't do much except for exchange looks and flirt because both of us were just too scared." she shakes her head and adjusts the disinfectant spray bottle, fidgeting with the nozzle.

"i'm glad he had enough courage to admit his feelings." 

nodding along to her statement, she bids you farewell as her figure fades with each step, leaving you with a sense of calmness to the end of this situation.

[day 38]

"is... is this okay?" haechan asks, arm hovering over your body while waiting for your confirmation. you smile and nod, sinking into his side as you venture in the third season of stranger things together. 

"don't you think we should be working on our articles?" you whisper, looking up at him from where you were with raised eyebrows.

the boy opens and closes his mouth in thought, gesturing to the television with an exaggerated expression. 

"stranger things, ma'am."

you click your tongue and sigh with a smile, turning back to the show as you try to relax for an online interview in a few hours.

[day 39]

"what do you say about my set-up?" haechan nudges you, proud of the hangout area he prepared on the balcony. although small, he had no trouble making it look comfortable. 

with a smile, you pop open the wine to celebrate the last scheduled interview for the trip, clinking glasses with haechan in the setting sun.

the country you were supposed to return to was slowly opening up flights for those stranded overseas and as refreshing as a different environment was, you missed home and the warmness of it.

you missed the office and your desk. hell, you even missed the mediocre coffee from the pantry.

with the last of the wine finishing, haechan pours half into your glass and the other into his, clinking one last time before you one-shot the beverage.

the high of the alcohol is gradually brought down by the mellow atmosphere and colours of twilight. as pink and orange cross over on the horizon, haechan mumbles a low "c'mere" to you in the darkness.

you hum in response and get up from your seat, bringing a pillow with you as haechan shifts to make space. sinking naturally into his arms, you sigh while you try to contain a smile full of content.

"this is nice," you admit, the corners of your lips disobeying your command, prompting you to shoot him a smile. haechan nods against your hair, a comfortable arm around your waist while you trace the tan skin of his arm.

the other taps your waist repeatedly, turning in response as he whispers out a question that makes your heart melt.

"can i kiss you?" you grin, slipping a hand around his neck and pulling him in right away. haechan's caught by surprise, laughing into your lips and striving to savour the moment as much as he could. 

a shout from across the hotel distracts you from the kiss. looking up, you realise it was the apartment resident opposite you shooting you a 'rock on' gesture.

"you guys are not fighting anymore! congrats!" you both stifle a snort as you wave back to the resident, sighing in relief when their balcony door slides shut.

"should we go inside, m'lady?" haechan giggles, replying in the form of a nod, cleaning up the area while you head in.

[day 41]

"i didn't think they'd be letting flights in so early," you mumble, folding your clothes neatly as your vision shifts to haechan... shoving his fair share of apparel into his luggage.

"donghyuck... what the hell?" you roll your eyes, shoving the boy softly as you took over the task at hand. switching personalities almost immediately, haechan fakes an interview segment with exaggerated tones.

"see, everyone, this is how you convince someone to do the work for you," the boy lays on the bed with a satisfied expression, "now i don't have to do anyth- ow!"

"if we ever live together, maybe i should punish you by doing the laundry and then folding it," you grunt, working at the speed faster than you expected while you fold shirt after shirt.

"are you proposing we move in together?" haechan peeks through an open eye, curiosity dripping from his tone. he tried to feign nonchalance but awaiting your answer felt like a weight on his heart.

your next words lifted that weight, a seemingly invisible force bringing his upper body off the bed as he stares at you in shock.

"maybe, not now but... in the future, maybe," you mumble the last part, focusing on the clothes to prevent the male from seeing the fluster on your face.

"for real?" haechan sits up, biting his lip to contain his excitement as your confirmation. 

"we'll be all stupidly domestic and shit, and i'll say i love you five years from now before you go off for work if you want that and stuff," your voice goes lower and quieter, especially towards the end, biting off way more than you could chew.

"aw! i love you too!" haechan gushes, bringing you into an embrace as your hands go limp, scrambling to explain your emphasis on the 'future'.

"d-donghyuck, i meant the future, not now..." you manage to spit out, hoping you need not answer his queries any more. your mind blanks out at the current situation, wishing you hadn't said those dumb things.

he grins into your neck, "i know, i'm just answering for future me."

you groan and escape the hug with a roll of your eyes, "yuck, too cheesy!" the boy just lets out a laugh, watching the way you fold his clothes despite your initial annoyance.

[day 42]

suyeon switches between the two of you in disbelief, finger crooked at the ambiguity of "we like each other".

"wha-" suyeon doesn't get the chance to finish the sentence before you shoot her a thumbs up, grabbing haechan by the arm and your stuff with the other.

you were happy to leave the office after a quick debrief since you two had reported to the office right after arriving at the airport, relieved when you heard he'd spare a few more days for your articles to be cleaned up.

"so, (y/n), what would you like to do now?" haechan looks at you through the reflective material of the elevator, observing the nervous wringing of your fingers.

you're glad for the material protecting your face because there's a smile that you struggle to keep as his soft, gentle voice carries through the quiet space.

the anxiety ends when the lift sounds, prompting your eyes to trail down his arm. your hand moves on its own accord, grabbing his last finger with yours as you proceed into the lift sheepishly, not missing the way haechan's eyes show his bright smile behind the mask.

"maybe i'll get to know you more, lee donghyuck."

haechan lets out a gasp, "have you not learned about me enough? scandalous." 

you feign a punch in his direction, the luggage beside you tripping over its wheels due to your swift movement. the only response you get is a giggle from the other as he tightens his pinky around yours, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek right above your face mask just as the elevator doors open.

"man, i really do want to punch you now," you mutter as you let haechan lead you, wanting nothing more than to rest in the arms of your enemy-turned-friend? enemy-turned-someoneyoulike?

you weren’t exactly sure.

he doesn't answer during the walk to the main road, nor the ride back to your home, the only constant thing being the way he admires your profile in the taxi, shrugging when you counter with a playful "what?". 

"nothing," haechan grins.

[there are more days to come]

sure, day forty-one may not have been the day you fell in love with haechan, nor the day where he outwardly claims you as his lover.

but, taking it slow never hurt anyone, either.

you know it in the way he tells you he can't go in unless he's invited and you see it in the way he asks if he can switch the television on while you prepare some drinks.

like the hotel, you know it in the way he asks if he can kiss you and the way he deepens his kisses with caution.

you appreciate it in the way he quickly apologises for a personal question, while visibly relaxing as you brush it off with a smile.

with hours pass, day forty-two becomes day forty-three, and haechan remains as chivalrous as always.

days pass, and you submit your articles. weeks pass, and you get to know the boy more and more. months pass, and you feel his love in the way he plays with your fingers in the dark and pulls you close under the sheets.

even if you hadn't acknowledged the love between the two of you, that note you wrote half-drunk matched the way you felt now—with how your heart clenches up and with how your grin never leaves your face with haechan around.

there are more days to come with lee haechan, lee donghyuck, even if it meant getting stuck together in a hotel room with unsaid words.

[the-family-we-choose-118]

Why I Think Albert Doesn't Die in 4B: A Meta Post

Maybe this is me reaching or some really wishful thinking, but i don't think albert is the one who dies, though i think he does get seriously injured (explanation below the cut so hear me out lol)

Based on scenes from 3b, 4a, the 4b promos, and some interviews done after 4x08 about 4x09.

In multiple interviews (one example below ⬇), Tim has stressed that there is going to be a divide between Bobby and Athena because he feels that she's too independent and won't let him in when she has issues. 4b is being set up to build off of last season's attack at the storage unit. Athena has made peace with the attack, so it will take something (encountering the attacker, being trapped while looking for a suspect, a storage unit, or experiencing other trauma) to act as the catalyst to trigger her into needing Bobby's help but refusing to ask. Albert dying will in no way drive or affect this plot line and will only really heavily affect Chimney, Maddie, and Buck and maybe Chris and Eddie.

Tim did a different interview where he said that multiple characters will be in life or death situations ⬇

As far as we know from the promo Hen, Buck, Bobby, Athena, May, Eddie, and Chimney are working the crash and Maddie is shown at work going into labor or having false contractions. None are likely contenders for a life or death situation, which leaves the side characters. Since this involves a massive pile-up, and we already know that Albert is in one car, that leaves three others.

The scenario I see best playing out in term of writing and setting up 4b and going into season 5 is this:

Albert gets horribly injured in the crash and has a long recovery. (This plays into 4a when Taylor said Buck was selfish and has no real friends because he doesn't know how to treat a friend.) If Albert gets injured and has a long recovery, he has 2 options for care. He either moves back in with Madney (but they have their hands full with the baby) or he stays with Buck, who has had to recover from a serious injury before. By staying with Buck, he learns how to really care for a friend unselfishly (tho we're gonna ignore the Buddie friendship for a minute bc the writers did). This also gives them the opportunity to set Albert and Buck up in a friendship so Buck can have friends outside the 118.

OR Albert goes into a coma because the writers are playing with a lot of characters right now and I don't think they know what to do with Albert and how to give him enough screen time for anything meaningful to happen. This way, they can revisit his arc in the future. Also, imagine Chimney and Maddie getting ready to take their daughter home and stopping by Albert's room to introduce their baby to her Uncle Albert 😭 Putting Albert in a coma or giving him a long recovery time is something that could be revisited at the end of the season easily.

I think the 3 others in jeopardy are in one car and I think it is Michael, David, and Harry after going to dinner one night or something and I think they are at the center of the crash.

I think the person who dies is Michael or David, mainly because of this interview ⬇

First, they've brought in David, but like Albert's storyline, they can't fit him in enough for it to really be meaningful. We see them meet towards the end of season 3 and by season 4 they have quarantined together (even though David is on the front lines) and are now living together. Most of their story occurs off screen. The only reason we even saw Michael and David in most of 4a was because it was a storyline attached to Athena and Bobby. Killing off David is less characters to deal with and would affect Bobby and Athena, but not to a degree I would see it driving a wedge in their own relationship. It would affect Michael and encourage him to complete his bucket list he referenced in 4a but it wouldn't have an impact on the whole 118.

Both Bobby and Athena are really close with Michael, though I'm gonna focus on Bobby for a minute. If Michael dies suddenly, that "lighthearted and hilarious" relationship "quickly turns on a dime" and suddenly it "ends up being quite emotional" because Bobby is dealing with losing a friend. This could also dredge up those feelings of having lost his family in a fire and not being able to save them because Michael is now part of Bobby's family. Later in the season, it would be easy to revisit if Harry is mad that his step dad and dad's boyfriend weren't able to save his dad. Bobby would be dealing with his feelings of losing a friend while trying to help Athena (who doesn't want help) deal with the loss of her ex husband.

Shifting the focus to Athena, Michael dying would absolutely devastate Athena. They were married for nearly 2 decades and he is still a close friend and confidante. Losing her ex husband at the site of a crash she responded to would be traumatic. And if you compound that with her unresolved trauma from the attack, now you've got Athena trying to deal with everything on her own and not asking for help. Now Bobby gets mad/sad/distanced because Athena won't ask for help and he needs his own support from her. And maybe she is giving that support but she won't let him reciprocate it and now you have a recipe for anger and unresolved grief that begins to drive them apart.

Focusing on May for a moment, she became an operator because she wanted to make sure Athena was never alone in the field. Though I can't imagine her taking the call for Michael because he is on the line when Albert is injured, her dad dying in a crash she responded to would likely drive her out of the field and into college or another path (1 less character to have around to try to give screen time.)

Michael's death was also foreshadowed in 4a when Athena is concerned he gets the telescope and is spying on neighbors. He talks about having a bucket list that he never got to do because the pandemic forced him into isolation. He also talked about how his only concern during the cancer was preparing his kids for losing him.

Michael's plot is stagnant. He is happy and living with his boyfriend and son. He's cancer free. His whole plot is tied up in a nice bow where they could easily kill him off and the only loose threads to deal with on screen are his family members and friends grieving his loss. This would impact the 118 as a whole.

Honestly, I thought they were going to kill off Michael when he first got cancer and he decided to stop treatments but they bad May talk to him and convince him to go through with the treatments.

Now, by killing off Michael, it is 2 less stories they have to tell, and it is less they'll have to include storylines for Harry as much as they were because he was linked to Michael's storyline. And if they have May decide to leave the field to pursue other dreams or complete her dad's bucket list for him, that is 4 less storylines where they can now focus on the Madney baby, Bathena's relationship, introducing friends for Buck (they mentioned brining back Taylor), focus on ending Eddie/Ana, and establishing Albert as a character (based on a quote from the above article, I think Albert's storyline is going to parallel Buck's 1.0 to 2.0 phase ➡ "If you think about how we ended season 2, Buck being smashed by the firetruck. We knew he was going to survive... I would expect something similar here.")

Referring back to that first article, where it says "Then look for a significant source of agitation for the entire 118."

At this point, Michael would have passed and Bobby and Athena are now having marital problems AKA mom and dad are fighting.

Hen would be stuck in the middle because she is good friends with both Bobby and Athena. She is also facing her own loss of Nia being returned to her birth mom and doesn't have time for their marital problems but still tries to help. She can also pull from her experiences from the season 1 cheating storyline to tell them to communicate or it'll ruin their relationship (yes i too hate that storyline but it would work here)

Buck would likely (nonverbally) side with Bobby, but he sees them both as parental figures, so he gets stuck in the middle like a middle child who is just going with the flow. This would also parallel the Buck Begins storyline where Buck feels caught in the middle after his parents face a loss.

Chimney is raising a baby and (if this theory is right) worrying about Albert in a coma or recovering from a massive injury. He has no time for their marital problems but still lets Bobby confide in him and gives advice (maybe this is just cause i wanna see the bobby/chim friendship we used to get in s1)

Eddie sides with Bobby but he thinks the whole argument is dumb. He can also offer advice to Bobby based on his own experience, but it's going to be something about communication, at which point Bobby will start ripping his hair out because why won't she just tell me her problems and let me help?

Lastly, when have we ever known the show to go ahead and give a major spoiler of the episode 2 weeks in advance? They let us speculate about Daniel for like 8 months and imo it wasn't as big of a deal as they made it out to be. It seems more likely to me that they offered the promo to get the viewers with a twist ending when the show comes back.

Feel free to share your thoughts if you made it this far lol

TL;DR Based on the interviews Tim has done, Albert dying would have little impact on the 118 as a whole, but Michael dying would offer exactly what they need to set up season 5 and finish 4b.

[itsclydebitches]

I’m the tin foil hat anon and I wanted to thank you for the response on my bb submission, you make great points. Although I was frustrated that some of them raised even more questions I didn’t think of myself… UGH… lol the S2 wait is gonna be painful

On the point of crosshair thinking his chip was removed a looong time ago(meaning before bracca or even as early as ep1) it wouldn’t make sense bc of his response to Hunter’s “you tried to kill us, we didn’t have a choice”. He says “and I did?”. So he seems to be aware he couldn’t control himself in all their previous encounters. Does it mean he knows his actions were due to chip then?

And you say crosshair avoiding the “when” question can be due to him not caring if the horrible actions he committed are chip or himself and it’s meant to show that he truly is despicable and evil. It could be the case because he shows absolutely no remorse or regret over slaughtering civilians, never apologizes to his brothers for not only trying to kill them but almost successfully incinerating(!!!) them. On top of that (apparently) without a chip he casually murders his own squad without a blink of an eye right in front of them.

On the other hand, he shows care for Omega’s safety in that episode and wants a better place in the universe for his brothers(even if it’s obviously a mistake). He sounds hurt and betrayed by them yet he still wants what he thinks is best for them. He seemed genuine and sincere in that moment. Even after they refused to join he protected them against the droids. He had multiple opportunities to shoot Hunter or others in the back but never did(and looked like didn’t even consider it). BUT after all of that he decides to raise his gun and try to shoot hunter who already has his gun drawn?! And in front of the whole squad holding him at gun point!!! WTF was he thinking?! WHY? I know they rejected his offer but still. Did his reveal completely change his plans? I just don’t understand. I know he is meant to be “complex and nuanced character with layers” but what a mood swing lmao

As much as I loved and enjoyed the bad batch overall I’m beginning to think that all these inconsistencies aren’t meant to be a crafty set up for next season. What they most likely are is just writers being vague on purpose so they don’t write themselves into a corner.

And as to why the batch and Omega didn’t even try to rescue their brother could just be so that Hunter and Crosshair would have this drama and disagreement at the end. Despite brad rau claiming their argument was over ideological differences. And Jen Corbett saying in that same cursed interview that the batch always love and support each other no matter what because they’re family. Well, I guess not crosshair, he doesn’t count anymore lol

And I agree with you I’d rather see the batch acknowledging they could have done more to try and rescue him than go into the chip details. However, I have a suspicion the real reason or explanation on why they never went back for him isn’t going to be brought up ever. Even *in universe* it simply does not make sense. Just makes me sad seeing how many people also try to come up with explanations. That should have been the writers job to provide something besides Hunter’s “you tried to kill us” bc that’s a weak argument and a total bs since he was SHOCKED to learn crosshair doesn’t have a chip.

Btw sorry for the long posts lol I just found your takes very intriguing

The season two wait is something awful and I only just started it lol. No worries about long asks though! My blog has become quite meta heavy over the years, so this is normal for my inbox. Besides, it’s a bit of a pot and kettle situation. It's not like my answers are particularly concise :D

Okay first, I have the unpopular (?) opinion that Crosshair was never planning to shoot Hunter, partly for the reasons you lay out here. You’re right, it doesn’t make sense, and rather than just accepting that he had that kind of “mood swing" (which would be pretty bad writing based on everything else we've seen) I think it does make sense that this was never his intention at all. Rather, it’s just a setup to make the audience think he’s about to shoot Hunter—that’s the obvious goal of that moment: the shock, drama, confusion, and then relief—but that doesn’t mean that in-universe that was ever Crosshair’s goal, even for just a split second. Omega leaves the pod. Echo, crucially, says that he can’t see her, setting up that Crosshair with his enhanced sight is probably the only one who could. He grabs his rifle off screen and as he does, Hunter leans over the side of the pod as he prepares to jump in, precisely where Crosshair needs to aim to hit Omega. Hunter is in his way. He’s directly in the line of fire, not because Crosshair is aiming for him, but just because that's where Omega is and they're both aiming for her: Crosshair with his rifle, Hunter ready to dive. The little shift Crosshair makes reads to me as him ensuring he doesn’t hit Hunter, despite him being right where he needs to aim, not him full on changing targets.

Even if we choose to read it as him deliberately aiming at Hunter—because yeah, the scene is meant to be ambiguous—I don’t think he, like, meant it meant it. Crosshair, as we’ve seen throughout TBB and TCW, can be pretty antagonistic. He likes to do things to get a rise out of people, like staring at regs until they snap at him, or pushing Rex’s buttons until he swings. If he was choosing to aim at Hunter in that moment, rather than Hunter just being in the way, I think it’s only bravado. Remember the “Don’t make the same mistake twice. Don’t make me your enemy” line? Crosshair has a need to remind others of his skill and power—whether it’s playfully like in TCW, or more seriously in TBB—and that’s likely what this is here. “Hey, Hunter. Look. I got my weapon back. I’ve got you cornered. I’m about to save our sister when you can’t. Remember that I’m good and you need me.” Those feelings of abandonment are tied up in that need to be needed, so when Crosshair is seething at being left behind, brutally showing them how he can get a drop on their leader and doing the thing they can't (save Omega) is a great way to remind them of what they threw away/re-boost his own self-esteem. But none of that means shooting Hunter was ever a real possibility. Because nowhere else do we see Crosshair willingly trying to harm his team. He does while under the chip’s influence, but then he never hurts Hunter when he’s captured. He kills his new team before they can hurt the batch. He helps them fight off the droids. There’s a tussle, but it’s not choreographed like either he or Hunter truly intends harm. Crosshair demonstrates no aggression during the entire escape, willingly gives up his weapon after saving Omega, and just stands there as they leave. If this guy actually wanted to hurt them, he would. Which is more likely, that Crosshair had a split second of real murder intent across two episodes of doing everything possible to help his team, or that this was just a mean bluff?

But personally, I don’t even think it was a bluff. I think the coincidence of Crosshair needing to aim there and Hunter already being there is just meant to imply an attack for the audience, not imply that Crosshair, in-universe, ever intended to hurt him, even for just a second. If he had, he wouldn’t look so surprised and sad when he realizes the others are pointing their weapons at him. If he was out to shoot Hunter, even if only for a moment, seeing his brothers come to his defense would be expected; a given. But if he only ever intended to save Omega, then seeing their weapons trained on him would produce the emotions we saw: shock that they’d turn on him and then severe disappointment. From Crosshair’s perspective, he didn’t do anything wrong and never intended to do wrong either. Hence, looking away in disbelief that his need to aim through Hunter was taken as a serious threat. He's realizing that they honestly believe that he would hurt them. Not the chipped version of him, but just him, all on his own.

As for the rest of his characterization, I think your point that “You tried to kill us” is a weak argument is pretty important. Meaning, Crosshair knows he didn’t attack his team and nearly kill them, the Empire controlling him like a puppet did. He (arguably) doesn’t owe them an apology for something that he was as much a victim for. However, we usually expect one anyway—like Wrecker still apologizing to Omega—because that's how people who have hurt loved ones react, whether the hurt was intentional or not, but that guilt is currently overshadowed by his fury that they left him behind. For him I think it’s a bit of a circular problem. Yes, he nearly killed them… but he wouldn’t have nearly killed them if they’d come back and rescued him. With the obvious disclaimer that the Empire is the real evil here, Crosshair as a threat is a bit of a problem of the batch's own making. If they’d done the right thing and gotten him out, there wouldn’t have been these scary moments like the engine incident. If they’d at least tried, then Crosshair likely would have been more guilt-ridden because he hurt his brothers who were trying to help him. As it stands, he tried to hurt the people who claim they're his brothers, but who left him behind. That's why he presents this second chance as magnanimous: from Crosshair's perspective, they haven't done anything to earn his care, but they're getting it anyway. An apology though? That's pushing things too far. If when Wrecker turned the group had locked him somewhere in the ship and gone off planet, leaving him there under the justification “Well, he tried to kill us!" would Wrecker still return with apologies for his actions... or would he be primarily pissed at being left like that, withholding apologies because they did him harm intentionally, whereas he did harm under another's control? I mean, maybe he'd be forgiving (the huge difference between his and Crosshair’s personalities is another factor), but also maybe not. Having Crosshair apologize for the near-death experiences requires 1. For him to feel responsibility for something that was forced on him and 2. For him to not be absolutely furious at the batch for abandoning him. They've gotta work through that before Crosshair can acknowledge that guilt.

Killing his second team on the other hand… idk if the batch cares, honestly. It was the killing of civilians that they balked at, not other fighters like themselves. Even the Jedis’ execution, something they clearly didn’t like, wasn’t enough to turn them from the Empire, presumably because the Jedi are capable of defending themselves. They fell in battle. It’s only when the Empire asks them to kill kids and untrained civilians that they go, “Absolutely not. This organization is evil.” Murder of other fighters was, you know, not great, but not worth defecting over either. Crosshair’s second team is made up of fighters who have been trying to kill them, so they’re definitely fair game. If we removed Crosshair’s plan from the situation and the batch was just fighting their way off Kamino after a capture, would they have also killed the team without a blink of an eye? Probably. It's self-defense. The second they raised their blasters it became a battle and, unless you’re specifically out to stun someone for some reason, battles end bloody. The shock is which side Crosshair was on, not that one side was willing to murder the other. It’s definitely messed up from our perspective that Crosshair laid a trap to murder his team to prove a point… but from the batch’s perspective? Crosshair killed a bunch of imperial fighters who were threatening them during a battle. That’s just an average Tuesday for them, nothing much to get upset over.

And omg don’t get me started on Crosshair wanting to find Omega a family! Like yeah, it’s obviously a #mistake and his faith in the Empire is Super Messed Up but... the underlying motivation is so good. It’s another situation where there’s no easy answer. Which is more important: Omega’s emotional health where she grows up with clones like her, the people who are now 100% her family, or her physical health, where she stays some place where she’s not always getting shot at, kidnapped, at risk of going hungry, etc.? It’s easy as the audience to go, “Of course she belongs with her dads!!” but if you choose to read the story through any realistic lens, Crosshair absolutely has a point about this being terrible environment for a kid, the exact point the batch themselves were making until Omega begged to stay. I love my feral, compassionate child but let me tell you, I YELLED when she yeeted herself out of that pod. This is a traumatized, formerly isolated kid with absolutely zero self-preservation, combined with, at times, a lack of basic common sense that’s inevitable in children (like not realizing she can’t pull a very heavy droid up through the water). As emotionally gutting as the thought is and, in this particular case, a Very Bad Idea, I really can’t fault anyone for raising the possibility that she go somewhere else, somewhere she’s likely to survive into her teens 😅

[yoondoze]

make a wish | jjk - 2

jeongguk didn’t know it, but his wish came true. as the best things in life do, it comes back around.

alternatively: a compilation of scenes in the after of “make a wish” and how they pile up and weigh you down until it’s too much to handle.

pairing: jeon jeongguk x reader

word count: 6.4k

genre: angst, fluff, romance, best friend!au, mutual pining... shh

warnings: language. besides that, this is pretty tame! only slightly edited bc its 2 in the morning and i just want to get this up lol

a/n: didn’t mean for this to be so long but i got a little carried away. this wraps up make a wish, so i hope you guys like it! also, feedback is always appreciated in any way shape or form <3 muah!

It’s just as you’re leaving when Jeongguk’s phone rings. His eyes widen in disquiet as he stares at the number displayed at the top of his phone. In preparation, he shakes out his limbs dramatically and takes a deep, exaggerated breath. Considering it’s for your entertainment, you roll your eyes and wave him on.

He picks up.

“Hello?”

The voice on the other end is muffled as you try your best to listen in. Your heart pounds in anticipation, gripping onto the straps of your purse with white knuckles.

“Yeah. Okay. Okay, great.”

He paces around the room aimlessly. His fingers fiddle with a loose thread on his sweatpants as he listens closely. You’re sure he’s already sweating, more nervous than you could imagine despite the playful act he put on before answering.

“Yeah. That’s fine! Okay, thank you so much. Alright, bye.”

He’s facing away from you as he clicks the end call button. Just as you’re about to ask, he spins on his heel, lips pursed as he holds back a grin.

“Guess who got the job?”

A toothy grin spreads across his face as he singsongs. Jeongguk’s expression of pure excitement is a privilege to see. It’s impossible to deny how it lights up your own.

“Oh my god, you got the job?”

“I got the job!”

His bangs bounce as he jumps with both fists raised in glory. You squeal, going in for a tight hug and swaying back and forth as you congratulate him.

“I’m proud of you, Gguk,” you say into his shoulder. “Really, I am.”

And when you say it, you mean it. After so many months of struggling at his old company, he took the leap and applied for a position at a more well-known film studio. The late night introduction practices with you, which included him reciting prepared resume-esque lines and weeks of tiring interviews had paid off like you knew he deserved it to.

“Okay. I should get home,” you try, voice strained as his arms crush your diaphragm like walls in a deadly escape room. Upon hearing your winded sentence, he loosens his grip.

You don’t even think about what it might mean before you place a departing kiss to Jeongguk’s cheek, fueled by the elation running through you at the upward turn of events. It’s an accident, it just happens naturally as if it was something you’ve done a thousand times. It only hits you that you shouldn’t have after it’s already done.

Sure, you make out and kiss all the time, but the difference is that’s only when you’re taking advantage of the benefits you worked out. That kissing is all attraction, nothing chaste or romantic like this. So when you pull away from the hug, you expect to see his eyebrows furrowed in confusion and giving you a look of disgust.  

“Uh-” you sputter, ever a wordsmith, trying to think of some rational explanation to excuse why you might have kissed him like that. The previous bouts of joy sparking in your heart fly out the window.

However, his eyes only show a mild, innocent surprise. At his silence, it doesn’t seem like he’s going to address it, and you assume he’ll assume it was just congratulatory. You can work with that.

“Bye. I’ll text you when I get home,” you blurt as untroubled as it can come, spinning on your heel and hurrying out the door. After closing it behind you, you slump back against it for a breath.

God, what were you thinking? Were you fucking stupid? Your fingers find your forehead finds as you try to convince yourself it wasn’t that bad. You’re prone to over analyzing, anyway. Jeongguk’s too occupied to think about it like that. He just got his new job, he has a thousand new things to worry about. He won’t read into it. If he does, he’ll think of it as a heat of the moment sort of thing.

Right?

Inside, Jeongguk pauses, staring at where you were standing just a second ago and scratches the back of his neck. The corners of his mouth turn up slowly. 

He finds himself checking his phone every five minutes for a text from you, which never comes.

☆☆☆

At the end of the day, it was your fault. 

It was your thoughtless action that made Jeongguk think that incorporating romantic gestures like that into your relationship could still be platonic. You rocked the boat with that one, but it wasn’t enough to completely capsize your vessel, and for that you were grateful. 

Still, your heart now tore itself into smaller and smaller pieces every time he kissed you goodbye or grabbed your hand to swing it back and forth or wrapped his arm around you after cleaning up. 

“By the way,” he says, tossing you one of his shirts from his place in front of his dresser. He pulls on a clean pair of boxers as you cover up. “There’s this work dinner I have to go to next week for networking and stuff, and it’s a buffet-type thing so they charge you for a spot. But, I found out that there is a couple’s discount and was wondering if maybe… you’d want to come with me?”

The hopeful sparkle in his eyes is one you just can’t ignore. Doing so would feel like a one-way ticket to hell, the only valid consequence for such a rotten crime.

“Yeah, sure.”

His smile at your compliance takes away all the apprehension you might have had, at least for a second. He wears it like a medal.

“Okay, good. I have to talk to a lot of people so I’d just feel better if you were there.”

Your brows draw together as you watch him get dressed. “But Gguk, you’re good at talking to people,” you say, going as far as to admit teasingly, “You’re fairly charming.”

He laughs, hopping into his slacks. “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I don’t freak out inside. It’s scary!” The dark brown mop of hair atop his head jostles into his eyes as he adds, “There’s gonna be a lot of well-known people there so it’s my chance to make some connections.”

Despite that, you’re sure he’ll be just fine. By nature, Jeongguk is inviting and easy to talk to. That is one of the reasons why you became such fast friends, and probably why you lasted so long. Along with his agreeable presence, his captivating looks probably wouldn’t hurt in striking up a deal either, though you’d never say that to his face.

“What’s the dress code?”

“Semi-formal I think?” He says, looking out of the corner of his eye. “I don’t know what that constitutes in terms of dresses but…”

A certain memory tugs at the back of his head. He considers just leaving it there, maybe slightly sentimental for his usual image, but what’s the harm in bringing it up?

“Do you remember the dress you wore for my brother’s graduation dinner? The blue one?”

You, on the other hand, are just surprised he remembers something like that. It must have been years ago by now. Still, it’s a good memory. It was a breezy evening by the shore to celebrate his brother’s graduation from college. The dinner was nice, but the best part was when you and Jeongguk ended up sneaking off to go sit on the beach later on in the night.  

Jeongguk is intertwined into nearly every lasting memory you make. It’s hard to imagine a world where he isn’t a part of each story you retell or each thought that crosses your mind.

“Oh, yeah, of course. It’s probably buried in my closet somewhere.” 

He’s relieved you don’t question him.

You might have to do some digging when you get home to find it, but you definitely still have it. It’s not like you have the money to be purchasing new semi-formal dresses for every occasion.

“That would be good. Or something like it, I don’t know.” He finishes buttoning up his shirt and tugs on the cuffs to straighten them out. His reflection in the mirror sends you a beaming smile, at this point accepting how his heart rate seems to spike every time he sees you in one of his shirts nowadays. He’s gotten very good at lending them to you casually.

He continues after a glance at the clock tells him he’s been letting his time with you slip on for more time than he can afford even though he wishes he could stay. “Anyway, I have to get going so make sure you lock the door behind you when you leave.” And then he’s padding out the door, car keys jingling in his hand as he picks them up from the dish on the kitchen counter.

“Oh, and Y/N?” He pokes his head around the hallway entrance to see you. “There’s coffee out here for you when you want it.”

He dashes off before you have the chance to react or even say thank you, a sheepish grin tugging at his features as he walks to his car. When you go out to see, it’s already made with cream and sugar, just the way you like.

☆☆☆

“You look really pretty tonight, Y/N,” Jeongguk says, voice soft as ever, eyeing your dress as you step out of the car. “Seriously, I mean it.” The heels you wear click evenly like a metronome’s beat on the pavement as you walk around to join him at his side.

You ignore the heat in your cheeks, rather offering an endearing grin as you grip the clutch in your hand. “You too, Gguk. You’ll do great tonight. I wouldn’t be surprised if you made everyone here fall for you while you’re at it.”

His initial thought is to ask if that includes you, but his better judgment tells him it’s too bold. Instead, he just laughs and hands his car keys to the valet.

The dinner is a week later at a stunning three-floor, dimly lit fine dining restaurant decorated with dark hardwood and intricate chandeliers that make the soreness in your neck seem worth it while observing them.

Jeongguk cleans up nice, and even though you’ve already known this for a long time, you consider it a treat since this attire rarely, if ever, sees the light of day. 

He props out his elbow and nudges for you to take it, which you so graciously do. Together you walk to the glass doors, through which you can see the party has just started. You can already hear the muffled music and chatter in the background.

“By the way,” he says, leaning down to your ear, like what he’s about to tell you is no big deal. “I… might have told my coworkers that we’re engaged-”

“Engaged!?” you whisper, eyes wide and staring at him incredulously. 

So maybe he should have told you earlier. In his defense, he needed the extra time to produce an irrefutable excuse. In the end, it was only sort of reasonable, but he was hoping you would just roll with it. Isn’t that what the two of you always did?

“I know, I know! But listen. It just makes more sense in terms of you being my plus one and it also makes me seem like I have my shit together. And it’s always good for me to seem like I have my shit together, right?”

You sigh, narrowing your line of sight at him. “Okay. What do I do if someone asks why I’m not wearing my ring then?”

He mutters, “Oh, yeah.” Then he’s fishing through his side pocket and out comes a shiny silver ring with a small diamond placed into the center, held so flippant between his fingertips. “It’s my grandma’s. Borrowed it from home for this weekend.”

His heart pounds. Was that smooth enough? He has a lot of talents, but he isn’t sure if this was one of them just yet. Jeongguk tenses as he waits for your reaction. Best case scenario, his carefree attitude about it will rub off onto you.

“I figured it’d fit you,” he adds.

When it slides on perfectly, you know there’s no going back. Yet somehow, it is completely in character of him. You should have expected something like this because Jeongguk always has and always will be a man of spontaneity.

You’ll have to ask him how he knows your ring size sometime.

Inside, he introduces you to his coworkers. There are too many to remember but you catch a few here and there that you recall him talking about before, like Namjoon, the diligent Production Assistant and Taehyung, another member of the crew who he often eats lunch with. It’s an initial blur of faces and few-worded exchanges before you can take a breather off to the side.

“Not bad?” he asks, his thumb tracing circles over your knuckles. The way it makes your heart flutter is addictive. He has you in his palm and he doesn’t even know it. Unfortunately, you don’t know if it’s something you can give up yet, not without it being messy.

There’s a short line behind a board that displays the seating arrangement, and though it’s moving quickly, it allows you a moment of space from the other guests.

A tired smile pulls at your lips. “Not bad.” You squeeze his hand in yours.

The people in front of you move from the board into the dining hall so both of you can inch up. Jeongguk’s eyes trace the small handwriting, eventually spotting the two of you in the far corner of the room.

Dinner goes well, and Jeongguk does the most of the talking. It’s nice to see him so bright as he laughs with his coworkers. It’s that part of him that he’s had since he was a kid, the part that made him fit in so naturally and charm every person around him. Seeing it out in the open and no longer repressed from emotional baggage is heartwarming. Compared to a few months ago, you might not recognize him at all.

After a while, Jeongguk wipes his mouth with his napkin and pushes his chair out from the table. “Alright, I’m gonna head to the bar lounge for a little while and see who I can talk to. Are you gonna be fine on your own?”

He’s nervous, you can tell. By the way his eyes dart around the room, the way he’s biting the inside of his bottom lip. 

“Yeah, go ahead,” you nod, taking a sip of water. “I’ll just stick around here.”

He gives himself a once over and wipes his palms on his slacks.

You tap his shoulder, bringing him down so you can whisper to him a small, “You’ll do great.”

He pulls back with a shy, one-sided smile. “Thank you. I hope so. Text me if you need anything.” Effortlessly, he plants a chaste kiss to your cheekbone that has your face ablaze and excuses himself from the table. The feeling of his lips on your skin sticks well after he’s gone.

Ryujin, the script supervisor, puts down her drink with a roll of her eyes. “Finally, all the boys are gone. I’ve been trying to talk to you the entire time but he’s always butting in!”

It pulls a laugh from you. “No, no, he’s just trying to help,” you explain, “I’m new to everyone here so he just doesn’t want me to feel awkward.”

“Yada yada,” says a bubbly Chaeryoung, a PA, waving it off with her hand. “I expected him to be protective with how much he talks about you, but wow. It’s cute though. Sometimes I wish I had someone like that.”

“Yeah, I’m really lucky,” you nod, reminded that you’re just pretending. You’re lucky, but not that lucky. “But… wait, what kind of stuff does he say about me?”

Ryujin chortles at your worry. “Oh, only good things. Just stuff you do together, jokes, those kinds of things. You’re involved in a lot of stories in some way or another.”

“Like, “This one time in high school, Y/N and I got in a fight...” or “Last week, we went to this new brunch spot and Y/N got this sandwich…’” Chaeryoung clarifies, but it only makes you want to pry further.

As she says it, both of the memories come floating back clear as day. You can’t remember what exactly you argued over, but it had been when you were paired as partners in a history class. The sandwich, you recall, was heaven on earth. The images are picture-perfect despite how they’d been buried.

The fact that Chaeryoung remembered things you didn’t is mildly startling, but you’re more surprised that Jeongguk shared so much. Not that it’s an issue, you just didn’t think you’d find yourself being perceived by so many people you had no prior knowledge of. The idea of him spilling your high school gossip fits like a puzzle to his persona, but the thought never occurred to you that he might think about you when you’re not there.

But you won’t let yourself become too optimistic.

“Yeah,” you laugh, “I think it’s different since we grew up together as family friends. He’s in a lot of my stories, too.”

“Ugh, that���s cute,” Ryujin sighs. If only. “So when did you start liking each other? Or start dating?”

You take a deep breath as if you’re looking back on the day when in reality you’re just trying to come up with the most believable love story you can manage. It’s also your most ideal. Maybe if your current situation went the way you wanted.

“I think we liked each other at different times over the years. Y’know, I liked him when we were kids, he liked me when we were teenagers, kind of on and off like that. But sometime after college, I think the cycle lined up once and for all and…“

Do you think you could manifest it by speaking it into existence?

“...here we are.”

That thought was stupid. You make yourself forget about it. Stop with the hope, remember?

When you finish your spiel, you think you’ve finally made it in the clear. Until another question comes.

“So what was your first date like? Was it weird?”

You know they’re just trying to make conversation, but god, you’re not ready for this. You’re preoccupied with other problems. If only they knew how your brain was short-circuiting in an effort to think up an explanation that will make you sound versed and most importantly, convincing. You go with what you wish had happened. 

“Um, a little bit, but since we had been close friends for such a long time, I think we had that mutual understanding of how things were so we could laugh about it. We just…” you say, shaking your head along, lips pursing as your train of thought rolls through the detailed daydream you know so well. “...went out to dinner one night... and it was sort of a process to transition to something more romantic, I guess, but it just kind of happened.”

But it feels nice to be Jeongguk’s girl. Even if you’re just playing a part. If you sink yourself into the atmosphere, tune into the clinking of the glasses, and the relaxing jazz in the background, you can pretend you’re really engaged and sharing your love story to whoever will listen.

Would it hurt too much to hold out on it one day become reality?

“I’m always so happy when the company hosts these events,” Chaeryoung comments, leaning back in her chair to take in the room. “It’s the only time I can come to a place like this since you know I can’t afford it with my own money.” A small talk sort of laugh bubbles up from her as she says it. There is an inkling of confusion that strikes you at her words, but you think you’ll just brush it off for the sake of being casual.

Ryujin looks to you as she adds, “And they even let you bring a plus one for free! You know, I was thinking of bringing my boyfriend, but I just felt like it might have been too soon…”

Your brows furrow as you recall the conversation with Jeongguk. Didn’t he say that it was a pay per guest scenario?

“So the company pays for these dinners?” you ask out of pure curiosity and with no hint of suspicion weaved in your tone.

“Yeah!” says Chaeryoung. “It’s all from the company’s budget since this is technically a networking event. Usually, people swap ideas or come up with deals that turn into projects a couple of weeks down the line.”

You nod along as she explains eagerly, but all you can hear is that there never was a price to pay to begin with, and more importantly meaning that there never was a discount. Not one that Jeongguk needed you around for. 

But why would he lie? 

Maybe Jeongguk was embarrassed asking for your company or didn’t want his ego bruised by telling you it was free and he wouldn’t have to pay for you. It’s the benefit of the doubt for your best friend (and love of your life, but that’s a separate issue) that makes it your first thought. In reality, thinking about the boy you know, it doesn’t make sense. At this point, he shouldn’t have to feel like that when it comes to you. 

Whatever the case may be, you hope that he knows he’d never need an excuse to invite you somewhere. It’s not like you’d ever refuse. You’d never refuse him, not in any life.

☆☆☆

It’s the middle of the night when another bad dream jolts you awake with a pounding heartbeat. Your eyes flutter open, brimmed with tears, to reveal that the moon is still high in the sky above the towering buildings, and a shift to the side facing the nightstand lets you know you have another three hours before you have to start your day and leave Jeongguk’s apartment.

The last few weeks, the dreams have been growing more and more common. Not enough for you to dread going to sleep just yet, but definitely something you’re quickly getting sick of. At this point, you’re tired of going to sleep just to wake up freaked out in a cold sweat. You chalk it up to the stress piling on you, not only that of regular adult life but that of your messy relationship with your best friend.

How ironic that must be, considering the whole reason it started was to relieve stress when now it’s your main source.

You empty your lungs with a shaky sigh and slide to the edge of the bed, intending to fetch a glass of water to calm yourself down. Before you can reach your feet, Jeongguk’s arm catches you at your waist, and then you’re being reeled back under the covers.

“Easy,” he mumbles, his voice grainy and low from sleep, “You’re fine. Talk to me.”

You swallow thickly, the scenes from your subconscious flashing back to you. “Um, that’s alright. Not a big deal.”

You wish he’ll just leave it at that and fall back asleep like he usually does. When his breathing steadies, you think you’re in the clear, but you are horribly mistaken when he yawns and adds, “You’ve been having a lot of nightmares recently.”

Is it another prompt for you to talk? You’re not sure what to say. 

In fact, you’re never sure what to say anymore. Never sure what’s too much, what’s too little, what the difference is between what you say and what you mean. The line blurred months ago and now you’re wandering blind.

You’d enjoy moments like this if it wasn’t for the stark fact that the person you’re with doesn’t love you like you love him. 

 “Yeah…” you agree. Right now, your chest is heavy and not strong enough to support a conversation. You hope that he’s not too drowsy to take the hint.

A small sound from him makes it seem like another sleepy sentence is in the works, but fortunately, the tension in your chest begins to fade when nothing comes out. His hair shuffles against the pillow and he presses a featherlight kiss to the back of your neck, lips lingering there for a second too long before he sinks back into his position.

When you’re sure he’s slipped under the veil of slumber again, you carefully slide out of his grasp and squeeze into your own space at the edge of the bed. You don’t know how much longer you can last like this.

☆☆☆

“She texted me.”

The sentence makes you stop chewing. Your movements stop aside from an absent blinking, gears spinning overtime to process it.

“She uh, she wants to meet up,” he tacks on. “I think I should go.”

“Why would you do that?”

Jeongguk slowly twists the pasta around his fork, taking a blatant newfound interest in his dinner. He takes a deep breath, but when he opens his mouth, the words catch in his throat.

“I don’t know. I think we need to talk about what happened.”

You scoff, and he takes an immediate offense to it. His eyebrows knit together as a wounded expression takes form on his features.

“What happened? Gguk, she dumped you because you were going through a hard time and she didn’t want to ‘deal’ with it.”

It’s not just you playing the protective best friend role and trying to talk sense into him. It’s not jealousy, either. And sure, maybe you never liked her to begin with, but for good reason. She ended up doing exactly what you thought she would - shattering his heart into a million pieces and leaving it for someone else to pick up the pieces. And considering that’s been you on a multitude of occasions, you think your point of view is valid.

“Listen, I don’t blame her… That can be really hard on someone.”

“So it’s okay for them to just pop in out of the blue, say they can’t handle your emotional issues and bounce? Someone who they claimed to love for over a year and a half? Someone who they were thinking about marrying?”

Jeongguk purses his lips as you speak, a hefty exhale coming through his nose in frustration.

“I just miss her sometimes!”

And you really wish Jeongguk would love you back, but we can’t all get our way, can we?

Not to throw yourself a pity party, though. It’s not like he owes you anything for what you do because you brought it on yourself. He doesn’t control your feelings, even when you want to blame the nerve he has for smiling because it makes you get all jittery. 

“She doesn’t even give a shit about me anymore! She’s out with other guys, doing all this shit, posting it everywhere. I… I loved her so bad and she acts like she has no clue.”

You give him pep talks when he’s about to go out with someone else. You comfort him when he’s distraught over someone else. You love him when he loves someone else. 

And then-

“You don’t know what that’s like.”

You freeze. Your heart leaps to your throat, closing the gate on your lungs until you forcibly open them again as subtle as possible. A stinging feeling you know all too well burns in your eyes as you try to hold back. Jeongguk doesn’t notice in the slightest as his gaze is still fixated on his food.

Your initial reaction is anger. All you want to do is yell, tell him wrong, tell him that you know it all too well because you love him and he’s pathetically oblivious whether by his nature or by choice. Everything you want to say, shouts and confessions, float across your mind and bounce around the walls as each one brings you further to opening your mouth and letting them spill. Then you just want to cry.

But you won’t do any of that. Your situation won’t allow it, not if you want to risk losing him. It’s not a risk you’re willing to take, even if it means suffering in it by yourself and letting the irony of his words go unrealized.

“Yeah, you’re right,” you sigh, the fork gripped by your white knuckles tapping mindlessly against the side of the bowl as you swallow the feeling back down. Your hand comes up to scratch at the corner of your eye, wiping away the wetness beginning to pool composedly so he won’t notice.

“I don’t.”

☆☆☆

It’s on a Tuesday evening a couple of weeks in the future when you next see him. 

Maybe more than a couple. Maybe a few. Maybe too many. Just enough for his tone to turn to something more confrontational than just casual when he sends you a text saying that he wants to see you again. Particularly when he specified that no, he needed to see you again.

He suggests the park by the river. You’ve been there a few times with him for lunches and to hang out, but the energy is different this time around. Both of you know why you’re here, even though you never thought you’d have to be. 

For a while, you didn’t want to make things weird, so you’d come over when he’d ask and leave as soon as you could in an attempt to curb the damage on your heart. It wasn’t until three weeks ago that you actively started flaking on him. You’d let his calls ring until he hung up or left a message and say you were busy when there was absolutely nothing going on. 

He stopped by your apartment at one point, too. You were freaking out after he texted you he’d be visiting, pacing around and wondering what to do, what to respond, if to respond at all. The knock at your door came sooner than you expected. Before you were about to pull it open and face what you’d been so casual about denying for so long, it occurred to you: You could simply not open the door.

So you waited. He knocked a few more times, sighing so loud you could hear through the door. He called out your name softly, as if he knew you were right on the other side. He stayed for a few more minutes. Then came the sound of his footsteps padding away. You were safe for another day, but the awful feeling stuck in your chest for days.

It stuck in his, too. He knew he should have never gone that far, never said anything that night, but he also wondered if he could have done it any other way. Standing at your door and having to face the fact that you were undeniably steering clear of him, because of him, was a nightmare. It was stupid of him, but you’d see past it - wouldn’t you?

And now you’re seeing him live and in person for the first time in god knows how long. It’s a foreign feeling you’ve never felt with Jeongguk before, and you hate it. It’s been long enough for the sense of familiarity to fade, or at least be buried by time. 

Is this how a comet feels when it passes earth again after so many years apart? Does it feel new every time seeing how things have changed, or are they old friends who pick up where they left off?

“ So… what’s been going on with you?” Jeongguk asks nonchalantly, leaning back on his elbows and shaking the hair out of his eyes. “It’s been a while.”

“Uhh, I don’t know,” you shrug, vision focused on the calm waters in front of you. You tug at the grass under your fingertips, loosely hugging your knees to your chest as you sit beside him. “Not much I guess. Just work as usual, you know.”

“Yeah, but how are you?” he presses, trying to find your eyes as you avoid his.

He knew something was wrong from the evident distance and your attitude, but he didn’t think it’d be this bad. He didn’t think he’d fucked up this bad.

Your laugh is awkward and forced. “I’ve been fine. Been good.”

Thinking about the past few weeks, it’s not hard to remember but incredibly hard to grasp. It’s the same moments over and over, sourced from a lonely routine. Day by day spending time with yourself, missing Jeongguk, thinking about texting him but never doing it. Wash, rinse, repeat.

His face turns from you and you miss it the second you can’t see it. The feeling is off and both of you know it. He sucks his lower lip into his mouth, biting at it as he thinks of what to say. If the wrong thing comes out, he’s worried he’ll chase you even further away. It took so much to even get you here.

“Listen, can I be honest with you?” he says.

Honesty is the best policy, isn’t it? He’s tired of beating around the bush. The two of you know so much more than bland small talk.

“Sure.”

He takes a deep breath. “I always thought that nothing could ever be uncomfortable with you and me. Like we could be straightforward and blunt without it being weird. But things right now are really weird and I don’t know what happened. You’re avoiding me and you don’t want to see me. It’s not like it used to be.”

Your nails scrape beneath each other, entangled in your lap. Clearly things aren’t the same, but you don’t have the energy to be snarky. There are so many things to address and you’re ignorant on where to start.

“I know there wasn’t a discount for the work dinner.”

He nods, looking out over the river. “Yeah, figured.”

“So why’d you lie?”

It’s his turn to shrug. “I just wanted you there and I didn’t know how to ask you. I… was starting to feel the shift and I wasn’t sure what to do about it. Saying that just gave me an excuse to take any of the weight off.”

He adds quietly, “Your turn.”

“Gguk,” you start, shaking your head as you try to find the right words. You think of the kiss, the dinner, the ring, the argument.

“We act like a couple. We do things couples do. We pretend we’re a couple. But... we aren’t a couple.”

He’s silent. He knows where you’re going. He knew it before you even got here because if you didn’t bring it up first, he would have.

“I think you already know what’s going on, but if you need it spelled out for you, I kinda caught feelings for you. And then you give me your grandmother’s wedding ring and tell me you love me and it hurts so fucking bad because I know you don’t mean it like that. Not the way I wish you did.”

The words dissipate into the fresh evening air, soon filled by delicate chirps and birdsongs. Distant laughter floats around the park, with muffled ferry horns layered behind it all.

“How do you know?”

Your hand pauses, chlorophyll green blades pulled taut between your fingers. No fucking way.

“What?”

He scratches the back of his neck before locking his eyes with yours. “How do you know... that I don’t mean it like that?”

He’s not playing with you, is he? No, he wouldn’t. You respond slightly confused, hesitant to lean into his words just yet.

“Are you saying that you do?”

He laughs and it makes your chest feel like it might burst open. “You’re kidding, right? I’ve been saying it. I mean, I thought I was being obvious.”

You suppress the excitement bubbling in your stomach for a second longer to throw him a questionable expression with an extended palm for emphasis. “You told me you wanted to go see your ex-girlfriend and were talking about how you loved her.”

He exhales through his teeth as he squints at you. “Yeah, that went a little far...”

“Only a little?”

“I’m apologizing, so let me, please?” He says, eyes wide with a small smile tweaking up at his lips. “It was stupid. I wanted to see what you would say or if you would get jealous. ‘Cause I thought you might have felt the same and at the time that was the only thing I could think of doing.”

Your expression falls.

“Wait, so did you actually meet up with her?”

“No, no!” He exclaims, rushing to refute such a bizarre idea. “Yes, she texted me, but I said no. Everything you said was right, so… it wasn’t worth it.”

He thinks he’s done, until he sees your stare still lingering on him. What’d he miss? He flops over on his stomach, elbows in the grass as his chin rests on his palms to look at you.

“You also said I didn’t know what it was like to love someone who didn’t love me back.”

A cheeky grin grows on him. “Okay... but technically you don’t because I loved you back the whole time.” One of his arms lowers to the ground, his fingers finding your own. He weaves them together with an affectionate squeeze. “You just didn’t know.”

The way your heart flutters is different this time. Gone are the tiring nerves and teary eyes and the weight of stress on your shoulders. It’s a comfortable sort of excitement, one that you’re in love with almost as much as you are with the boy himself.

“Since when?” you ask shyly, feeling the tingle in your cheeks. 

It’s a relief to have Jeongguk back. A life without him wouldn’t be one you could ever get used to. 

He was there at the start, he’s here now, and he will be here for as long as he possibly can. When it comes to you, there’s no doubt. He’s yours every time.      

His deep brown eyes sparkle under the setting sun, golden and glowing, as he makes a point to find your own. Tone dulcet and tender, he says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“Since always.”

[living-dead-parker]

Met Gala - P.P

Summary: Request - Omg what if stark!reader got invited to a really important event like the met gala or something and brings Peter (her crush) as her date? 

Ngl, I forgot about the crush think while writing this so, they’re dating in this lmaoo sorry

Warnings: cussing maybe, sexual undertones (I might need to do a smut blurb night type of thing if people start sending me requests bc I have some pent up stuff ngl), probably some mistakes

Word Count: 2k

The Met Gala. Such a fancy event. One that your father refuses to go to because the celebrities there only want to be friends so that they'll have security. He refuses to be friends with any of them just to be used for safety purposes. So, he's always putting their offers down. Since they can't seem to get the older Stark, they've resorted to inviting the younger of the two Starks. His very own daughter, and actress, Y/N Stark.

"No, you're not going. They only want you to go because I keep saying no. I've made my donation, their exchange with the Stark name is done," Tony rants as he sees the very formal looking envelope from one of the many sponsors. You roll your eyes and set the envelope down on one of the workbenches.

"Come on, dad. I have nothing to offer them in terms of security! Plus, I'm an actress, so maybe they want to invite me for my work?"

Tony sighs and shakes his head. As much as he doesn't want to agree, he can't exactly deny either. You don't have powers or some kickass suit. You just have basic training from Nat, a phone full of contacts, and money. So, realistically, you don't have much to offer besides great conversation, acting skills, and enough arrogance to prove you're a Stark. Plus, he trusts nothing will happen. Nothing usually happens.

"Fine, you can go to the stupid event. Just make sure to not whore the Avengers out to Rihanna or something," Tony says loudly as you walk out the lab. However, you take the moment to respond before leaving.

"The only person getting whored out to Rihanna is me."

Now, it's the day of the Gala. You're in your room, sitting at your vanity in just a towel and looking over at all your makeup. Peter texts you that he's coming over in a few minutes, and while the idea of him walking in on you is pretty bad, you could not be bothered to actually get up and put on some clothes. You just wanna chill for a few minutes. So, you sit back and continue picking out all the makeup necessities you'll need for your look while singing to some Ariana Grande song. Suddenly, there's a knock on the door.

"Can I come in?" the person -so obviously Peter- asks from the other side of the door. You shrug and respond with a 'sure, come in'. When he does come in, he jumps and stutters as he notices you're in only a towel. A giggle pushes past your lips as you turn to look at him.

"Don't be startled, Parker. This isn't your first time seeing me naked," you flirt. Peter rolls his eyes as he throws himself onto your bed, right next to the large bag he'd laid out on the mattress. You turn back around and put away the items you knew you would not need. All the while, Peter scrolls through his phone.

After a few minutes of just listening to music, Peter sits up, looking over at you. "So, the Met Gala? Are you sure you want me to go?"

Another giggle escapes your lips as you stand up. He watches as you walk over to him. He slowly becomes nervous as you rest your hands on his shoulders. You stand between his legs and press a kiss to his cheek.

"Of course I want you to go with me. I'd rather you go with me than anyone else. I trust you to make things fun," you tell him as you grab his chin, making him look up at you. His slight frown turns into a full-on grin and you can't help but wanna kiss him over and over again. He leans up and presses his lips to yours. You move closer to him and when his hands feel the thin cloth covering you, his eyes go wide and he stops.

"We should probably stop before I get even more excited. Because then I really won't wanna go," Peter jokes as he stands up. You giggle at his sudden nervousness. He smiles as he moves to the en suite restroom, mentioning something about a shower.

When Peter comes back out, he sees you're in some panties and in a strapless bra. You have your hair done and you're finishing up your makeup, adding on some nudish-pink lipstick. You stand up and walk over to your closet and grab the hanger with a bag over it. Peter walked out with his hair already slicked back, smelling like his cologne which you loved so much. He has on some boxers and some socks on. You also have a pair of black heels in your arm. You set the heels on your bed and open up the hanger with the dress in it.

The dress is a long, rose-gold gown. It has a long train, extending for a good five feet. The bust is covered in diamond sequins and the dress is pretty form fitting. After a good few minutes of getting the dress on -who needs stylists?- you turn to Peter to ask for help. However, when you look at him, you see him putting on the jacket to his suit. It's an all-black suit and it fits perfectly tight on him. You're almost breathless as you look at him.

"Holy fuck," you say breathlessly. Yeah, Peter's a real cutie, and you've seen him in some sexy outfits, but this. This is next level. This is the type of Peter that could boss you around -because quite frankly, you don't like being bossed around- and you'd have no problem getting on your knees for. When Peter looks up at you, he begins to blush. He takes notice of your stunned expression and then his breath is taken away when he looks at you in the dress. Neither of you are completely dressed and you're already wanting to undress each other. You both have too much power at once. "C-can you zip me up?"

After a half hour of helping each other get ready and making out, you take note of the time, seeing it's already 6:30. The red carpet starts at 7:00, so leaving five minutes ago would've been a good idea. You call for Happy and once in the car, he speeds off towards the event venue.

Upon arrival, you see so many artists. So many musicians, actors, business owners, fashion designers. Peter is left stunned by all the big names in the room, leading to the red carpet. At some point, you have to remind Peter that half of those people don't even care to be there, so just chill. So instead of him freaking out over everyone, he stayed close by and held on to you. Maybe it was so he could make himself look cooler, but he's literally Spider-Man and he's already cool as is, it's just too bad nobody knows.

"I'm gonna say it this one time, but I'd suck Shawn Mendes' dick," Peter tells you as you both see him up ahead the red carpet. You nod eagerly in agreement. Peter laughs at your eagerness.

"Vanessa Hudgens, couple feet up. If she had a dick, I'm sure it would be colossal," you tell him. Vanessa Hudgens is a beautiful person and you have a huge crush on her. Peter agrees, commenting that she looks cute. Suddenly, a woman is calling you over, so you drag Peter over to where the woman stands in front of a man holding a camera.

"Now we're here with Y/N Stark, actress, and daughter of Tony Stark," the woman says. You smile and shake the woman's hand as she looks over at Peter. "Who do you have with you here?"

"This is my boyfriend, Peter," you say as the camera pans over to Peter, who shyly waves at the camera.

"How adorable. Now may I say, you both look absolutely amazing. How are you feeling tonight?" the woman asks.

"Totally nervous," Peter accidentally too loud. His eyes go wide and cheeks go red when he realizes the microphone picked that up and that the question was meant for Y/N and not him. There he goes, making it about him.

You giggle as you gently squeeze Peter's hand. "Yeah, like he said, totally nervous. This is my first big event like this. The only red carpets I go to are movie premiers or my father's expo, so I'm not totally surrounded by such big names often. It's wild."

"Now, how did Peter know you before getting together?" the woman asks. Your relationship with Peter was public for sure, but nobody really knew who Peter was. They just know you have a boyfriend and that's about it.

"We'd gone to school together and then he became an intern for my dad, so we spent a lot of time around each other."

After a final question, you and Peter go back to the carpet where you both get tons of pictures taken of you. After a few boring pictures, you and Peter decided to have fun with it. So, for each photographer, you'd take one normal picture and the rest would be the two of you making dumb poses. It started with it looking like you and Peter we arguing, followed by one where it looked like you were punching Peter, even one where you hold bunny ears up to Peter's head. Some of the photographers had fun with it, others seemed annoyed by it, but neither of you cared. You mostly did it to calm Peter's nerves and it really got him out of his shell.

"So I wanna play a game with you guys," some guy interviewing you asks.

"Sure thing, we love games!" you say.

"Alright. Fuck, Marry, kill. And the three names are Shawn Mendes, Ed Sheeran, and Drake."

Peter sighs and you do too.

"Okay, fuck Ed, but the room would have to be pitch black," you say, causing Peter to giggle. However, he nods and ultimately agrees with you. "I speak for the both of us on this one, but Marry Shawn Mendes, that man is beautiful and we're both crushing on him,"  you say. Peter lets out a groan in agreement as he says yes. "And then kill Drake."

"Had that one prepared, huh? How about Ariana Grande, Vanessa Hudgens, and Selena Gomez?"

"Fuck Ari because she's hot and awesome, marry Vanessa Hudgens and kill Selena Gomez," you say.

"I'd have to switch and say fuck Vanessa, marry Ariana, but I'd still kill Selena," Peter says. You nod, giggling at the end.

"Final round, Avengers edition. Thor, Black Widow, and Captain America."

"Fuck Thor, marry Thor, and kill none of them," Peter says loudly, proudly, and excitedly. The fact that he was so quick to answer, so sure of it made you cackle.

"I couldn't pick any of them, they're like my family. As a kid when they started coming around, though, I probably would've said marry Thor, fuck Nat, and kill Steve."  

After that, you continue through the red carpet, ruining more pictures. People started to walk with you and Peter as well. You'd walked with Rihanna for a few minutes, joined Kendall Jenner and Gigi Hadid for a few minutes and any other model, actor, or musician who would randomly walk up to you. Most of them seemed to be genuine in their intents, but there was always that one person to ask about your father, so you had to quickly shut them down. In the end, you and Peter finally reach the Metropolitan Museum and in there, the two of you walk around and laugh at the art.

Soon, the night comes to an end, and you call Happy to pick you up, asking him to make a stop at the nearest McDonald's. He obliges, despite not wanting to. Once you reach the tower, you head up to your bedroom, Peter in tow with the food in hand. It wasn't too long after eating the two of you fell asleep, any plans to tear each other's clothes off each other long forgotten.

Please send feedback or requests! Send in asks or just come talk to me about anything!!

[soofection]

jenkai discourse in retrospection

 (long post)

to take a slightly more light hearted break from all the updates regarding the burning sun case, I propose a discourse of jxk in retrospection after gaining all the new knowledge exposed by the media recently

dont read if you dont want to, if you read please dont come attack me for posting what I want on my own blog 🥰

In no way is what I type facts, and I am NOT comparing burning sun case with jxk (jxk is so insignificant and jxk is not a criminal case) yet I will make references to what the media and companies are capable of doing as proven by the exposure from the b. sun case regarding similar behaviours.

---

we now know that the kpop world is not what some once thought - an ideal fairytale land where idols/ the media never lie to us.

The truth:

We finally realize for sure that in korean ent. industry, sexual favours (in exchange for sponsors, promotion via media manipulation, basically fame and safety), offering prostitutes services... all in all using SEX is commonly used in return for connections / power / protection from the 'higher ups'.

why did jxk happen?

I propose: to cover yg x jni sex/sexual activities and jni has sponsors rumours (updated). After knowing yg is to a certain degree (personal assumption: large extent) involved in B.Sun and gangnam clubs, it makes sense to suspect that the jni rumour could be real. look up yg's past history, how he obtained his wife (emphasis, obtain). 12 years older yg 'fell in love' the moment he saw his wife as a second year middle school girl, recruited her at 16, ruined her career and married her. who knows how exactly yg treats his younger girl employees? Who is there to protect them?

but its just a 'groundless' rumour why was yg desperate?

to propose reasons: 1) it could be real, if so he HAS to camouflage it before it blows up further. 2) even if its not real, he didnt want to put bp's and his own name's reputation at stakes since bp is his most money earning group right now 3) if he doesnt make a deal with dispatch, who ofc are capable of digging deeper and they hate yg (proven by their ability to obtain kkt chats and exposing b.sun evidences) to supply them a fake scandal to cover ygxjni... dispatch WILL expose him. (also keep in mind jni has other sponsor rumour that might or not be true). and 4) - suggested by anon: yg could be taking precautions before b.sun scandal blows up. As we know b.sun revolves around sex crimes, Yg must get rid of the 'boss had sex with employee' label before b.sun blows up. Or else he will get dragged, it would be like adding oil on fire.

this theory is reinforced by allshitpop stating a media outlet discriminately announced 'the yg x jni rumour was false.' why purposefully mention it when no one asked?

but why ji?

main reason: hes an artist from sm. Yg desperately needed a scandal impacting enough to satisfy dispatch (releasing small unconvincing sandals will discredit dispatch's liability and reputation. ) But what to do when none of yg's male artists are popular enough to create a fuss nor any male groups's careers mature and stable enough to withstand the scandal pressure from the general public? the obvious solution is ofc to beg other big companies - sm or bighxt.

Most popular boy groups atm is still btx and ekso. honestly yg wouldve prefered btx due to their crazy fame, and jni will be their first dating scandal... the reactions would be DRAMATIC. yet in contrast to ekso, btx didnt really need to take that risk in hopes for more popularity. (rmb there would always be adverse effects when being involved in a dating scandal despite positive reactions and large no. of supporters). Also, even if btx has any scandals to cover, bighxt's recent merge with cj-enm (described as 'a powerhouse' aka very huge powerful company) means btx's any potential scandals can be taken care of for now. so that leaves ekso.

Who in ekso fits ji's image the most?

(hence will recieve 'positive' reactions and make them more aesthetically believable. without a doubt, its ji and his on going promoted sex appeal.) Reasons for ji and not other members: 1. theres no harm in giving him a beard (personal belief, ignore point 1. if you think homosexuality/kaisoo pairing isn't plausible) 2. to raise his popularity for his potential upcoming solo. 3. if someone who was involved in dating scandal before came up again, they probably predicts the pairing to be more positively recieved --> more supportors and a more hyped response from the public.

but none of that happened, the scandal was managed poorly. The paris evidence was made in a rush (dates didnt match) park pictures were too ambiguous (again dates and time didnt match), even when dispatch posted a pic of ji in a carpark supposedly came back from hawaii to give jni presents after landing - we learned from ji's own ig live that the day he wore the outfit in the photo, he had already returned to korea a few days ago, was around town shopping and went no where near the airport. Besides these failed attempts there was absolutely no other proof that jxk is real.

why was it poorly managed?

bc this is a rare collab between two big rival companies. Yg was the one begging at the start yet sm wasnt able to take full control of this scandal. Conflicts and disagreements upon makng many decisions were highly likely to occur between these two rivals.

The break up

a lot of fans were shocked when jxk broke up just after 25 days. (brand new record). what else is weird?

sm personally confirmed jxk broke up abruptly. Usually when couples break up, fan rumours start to float around first. But not this time, no rumours surfaced yet sm all of a sudden definitively stated that jxk broke up. Back then I already predicted it maybe because yg or bp got into trouble hence sm wanted to distance themselves as far as possible. I still stand by that idea.

Sm must get away from yg and b.sun case for the sake of theirs/ekso's reputation. sm def dont want to be dragged into the mess. Remember, sm as a huge company themselves def have their own dirt to hide, getting dragged means huge consequences if the investigators target them.

so why did sm agree in the first place? I assume its bc altho sm knew that yg had dirt to hide, they did not know it was something as serious, severe and big as b.sun case / tax evading case. Therefore, what are the coincidences that sm announced breakup shortly before dispatch sparked reinvestigation into b.sun by posting crucial evidences? (the first chats)

its highly possible that dispatch warned sm, (which makes them sound like the good guys but no. remember sm is dispatch's source of money and partnered with them many times. b.sun indeed aint directly related to sm, (as for now) dispatch has no reason to ruin sm) Or, sm could have found out through other sources that b.sun case will blow up soon. they quickly cut their collab with yg early, and announced break up probably without telling yg first. (since telling them possibly means giving dispatch away).

this also suggests that dispatch hates yg but anyway.

The benefits of ji

Comparing the two, jni seems to be the one who gained more from the scandal. She got most of media and the public's attention. there is an explanation for this - shes the 'rookier' one, and the trendier one out if the two since bp is still rising when ekso has reached their plateau. However, ji did gain his own lesser share of attention (indicated by the gained followers on his ig).

I have always said that when idols agree to be involved in a scandal, they are likely to get a 'reward.' but now thinking about it, agreeing to scandals is part of ji's contract, rewards are bonus but not obligations. Besides, the scandal itself supposedly helps ji gain popularity for solo and gains a beard, sm didnt NEED to give him more bonus. Often when idols get more modelling jobs / solo etc after scandals is bc sm uses the risen populairty from scandal as an opportunity to maximise profit by giving them more jobs, it might not be bc sm wants 'pamper' them.

Plan cut short

unfortunately for ji who is not getting his solo soon, the jxk plan flopped due to poor management, and was cut short due to b.sun case. The scandal did not fulfill what it was supposed to do and ended prematurely . Followed by the apparent troubles in sm negotiating contract terms with ekso, (delayed ekso schedules),chxn suddenly getting a solo, and the blowing up of b.sun case, ji might have missed his chance again. Or hes simply still preparing.

to summarize i want to clarify a few things.

- none of these are facts, but an overall picture forming one huge speculation.

- I dont try to defame bp or shame them. i also am not trying to state that girl artists def had sex with the hihgher ups. b.sun has shown us that men always have more power over women, and they rarely get protection.

- I want people to realize the dark side of kpop. The kpop industry is full of conspiracies, media manipulation and lies. What you see on tv is not who your idols are portrayed to be on camera. Don't impose your ideal vision on them and hurt others when reality suggests otherwise.

side note: this theory conveyed reinforcement to statements I've made before

- conspiracies are real and true. Look at all the dark and shady events involved in b.sun case

- media play, mass manipulation exist and are common practice.

- dispatch and sm collab and are partners on a case by case basis.

- idols lie on interviews all the time, their tv persona is different from the real them.

- companies offer protection for their idols

- it is indeed common practice to use one scandal to cover another

ANYTHING can happen in the world of the k ent industry. dont lightly dismiss any possibilities. We must analyse the sum of the situations - the full picture of any events before believing anything we are told.

[kangyunas]

⁚ ⁛  oh my god ! you can’t believe who i just saw. it was  kang yuna !  they really resemble  seo soojin , don’t they ?  i heard they started their career about  one year ago  as the  main dancer + lead rapper + vocalist  in  v-nyx , but it sure seems longer, doesn’t it ?  they always seem so  optimistic ,  elegant  +  selfless  in interviews and to their fans, but their latest scandal made them sound like  timid ,  sensitive  + cautious … oh well, must’ve been the bad lighting. did you know they came all the way from  seoul ,  south korea  to new york city ?  it was really brave of them to sacrifice so much. you think they’re survive the spotlight ? 「+ seo soojin 」

god so i’m sleep deprived and idk what i’m abt to write so let’s see how many tws i can avoid adding. apparently , sleep deprived me is good at avoiding tws so that’s cool.

 —   𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒏𝒇𝒐.

on march 9th, 1998, kang yuna was born and raised in seongbuk-dong, seoul.

if the neighborhood wasn’t enough to tip one off, the kangs were well-off; her father having been the ceo of the family business in and around medical equipment while her mother was off signing paperbacks for her avid readers.

— quite a happy  little  family, which she pointed out time and time again to her parents soon after she learned how to walk and talk. and sing and dance, as they soon realized.

and who were they to ignore their precious little girl’s requests ?

(  ... ok, so they already planned on having another child but it made her much happier to think that she convinced her parents for a sibling  )

but by the time she was on her way to english preschool, she doted on her younger sister; it seemed endearing to those outside of the household, but beyond the surface, was an unfortunate side effect of two hard-working people that were too busy to come home and have dinner with their children.

only when she turned nine did she realize  why  she saw less and less of her parents.

as it turned out, her mother had an affair with one of her publishers and she’d taken advantage of yuna’s pleas for a sibling as a cover around the time.

her father found out, over the years, due to how much their youngest  didn’t  look like him — and more like that one publisher.

long story short, the teen lost her mother and sister as she got back home from school, leaving bare rooms and sour memories, their belongings all gone.

the news was publicized almost immediately and she and her father had to deal with the aftermath. bright flashes, handheld mics, and condescending tones became their norm for a little while.

from then, she saw her father even less... those early morning flights, late night meetings, or long business lunches really holding him captive. other than the times he’d try to show her the ropes of running the company, she saw the man maybe twice a week if she was lucky.

she quickly learned how to take care of herself without the help of their staff.

doing a lot of the house chores by her lonesome, it offered her some peace of mind. for whatever reason, her father took that as a sign that she was preparing to be a housewife.

arranged to be engaged to a business partner’s son by the age of sixteen, yuna tried her hardest to get out of it.

the most rebellious and impulsive thing she did was sneaking out to go to an open audition after being cast by a company scout at a talent show.

her father refused to let her become a trainee for two years, for obvious reasons, but yuna was adamant and in the end, he let her go.

(  suddeN i know i’m sorry i didn’t know how to get here without taking another 3pg essay to explain as;dlkf  )

she trained hard as a main dancer for a couple of years before she found her girls.

though she was very shy in meeting and training with them, she immediately found a safe place in their group. in their little family.

tbc.

    —   𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚.

vvvvvv timid, even though she was raised to be a businesswoman

performing on the stage and in front of the cameras is a bit of a different story

but incredibly shy

will try to get a smile on your face, nonetheless

wears her heart on her sleeve tbh, she can’t tell a lie without her eyes getting glassy

the Mom Friend™

she’s used to taking care of the others honestly

no matter how much of a mess they make

probs cuts up apples and orange and peels grapes for snacks

and makes sure they eat something for breakfast

also packs the girls’ lunches when they have indv schedules

a pure bean

    —   𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒔. 𝒕𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔 𝒔𝒖𝒑𝒆𝒓 𝒅𝒖𝒑𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒕.

once agaiN, this is basically soojin w a few exaggerations here and there

has a black belt in taekwondo for some reason probs so she can kick my ass

speaks english fluently bc she went to those fancy pants schools all her life

hates being called a chaebol / doesn’t want the attention that comes of it

loves cherries and avocados but like,,,,,,, not together

volunteers at the local animal shelter when she has time

could own a tesla but she probs has a minivan or a hatchback bc she a soccer mom

may look like she knows what she’s doing but is in a perpetual state of confusion

yuna at all times: ???¿¿?¿??

connections??????? haven’t thought of them yet but am always down to brainstorm but it’s like 3am and i’m supposed to be up at 8am goD,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, but as always, IMs are always open so pls come and plot with me and my bean ~

[jujuoh]

I never actually posted the little story behind the demon/priest flareshipping thing did I? I was just gonna type out something short and quick but the details got away from me. tl;dr seto becomes a priest to look for mokuba, summons atem for help and accidentally summons yugi too. the nun garbs are easier to hide the horns, tails, and wings under while they help him.

It’s like, not quite modern day, just far enough ago that travelling from Japan to Europe would generally be done by boat and land bc there were no planes. 

circa 1875 CE, Japan, Meiji Restoration

Seto and Mokuba still get sent to an orphanage, and Mokuba gets adopted by a visiting Englishman without Seto, who tells him to go with and that he promises to find him, because it would be a better life than staying in the orphanage. 

Seto almost ages out of the system when some travelling missionaries happen to come through town, but secretly they’re actually demon hunters/exorcists on a mission (though of course every country has their own ways of dealing with demons, sometimes if the demons are foreign, they need foreign magic to help stop them. In this instance, a coastal city in Japan was having issues with Scottish kelpies of all things. Wherever they went, they teamed up with the local demon hunters as well). The group stopped by the orphanage both to keep up appearances but also scout for talent, and catch wind of a really smart, stubborn kid named Seto who sounds like a perfect apprentice. 

Seto agrees to go with them because they can promise to take him to Europe where he can search for his little brother. He finds out later about the demon hunter thing but doesn’t believe them, until he watches them do their job - unless a demon wants to be seen, it can’t be, unless you force-reveal or see it with magic of some sort. The power (both magical and influential), the control, and the ability to help people (though he won’t admit it) attracts him and he eagerly begins learning. Though he tends to feel like if the person is a douchebag they deserve their demon problem (his guardians try to teach it out of him to varying degrees of success)

It takes ages to get to Europe, and they do missions (from angels, messages from the vatican, towns they pass where there are problems they can solve, a few memorable times from other demons), and teach him along the way - surprisingly about many different religions, not just catholicism, as well as many different languages which he picks up quickly. The lessons about different demons and magic and curses were the most interesting: different places in the world have different supernatural beings, matching up with the different religious stories and mythology, and so of course they needed different magicks and tactics to defeat, release, or otherwise overcome. They attempted regular schooling too but Seto was already at or above their levels, so instead they taught him everything they knew. They taught him how to sew and weave, how to shoe a horse, fix a boat, cook, clean, among various other things.

circa 1880 CE, Europe, second industrial revolution

Thus, the whole trip takes quite a while. Seto is twenty by the time they actually make it to Europe, and while the time taken frustrates him, he knows it was safer and cheaper to do it this way, rather than try to get the money by himself and travel alone. That, and all the magic he would’ve never known.

Once he’s there, he travels along with them for a bit, trying to find leads to the family that has his little brother, but once they need to be sent out to different countries and continents again, he begins to travel alone. Sometimes he spends up to nearly a few months in one place, taking care of a big problem.

On his own, Seto learns that demons themselves are much more complex than he was originally taught - in terms of individuality, motivations, social hierarchy, and ven morality. He meets demons better than most people, and people worse than most demons. Some spirits are just mischievous, and people lie about how much damage they’ve done. He ends up capturing demons sometimes in order to study or interview them before banishing them or letting them go. He rarely actually destroys any unless they’re particularly bad. He also gets closer to some of the angelic messengers, and decides all angels are mildly to viciously annoying, especially the one named Joseph and his friend Tristan. 

Eventually he gets frustrated with his total lack of progress and commits a taboo - he summons a demon himself. The book of spells he borrows from a local boy - Japanese like himself but raised here in England. He has white hair and claims to be a psychic, the ghost of his little sister following him around the occultish store, stocked by things his father brings back from travels that can’t go into the museum. Seto knows better by now than to doubt him.

He accidentally summons two. He refuses to place the blame on himself for not calculating things perfectly, and calls it a fluke of magic.

circa 1300 BCE, Egypt, middle New Kingdom

Atem had been a prince in Egypt, destined to be a greater pharaoh (and a greater man) than his father, but his traitorous uncle killed him on the eve of his coronation, just after the mourning period for his father was over. The magic interacted with his own, and with the artifact he wore, and with whatever divine influence the gods deemed to throw his way, and instead of going through the trails of the afterlife to enter the duat and be reborn again, he became a being of shadows and magic itself. Little did the uncle know that he would fall and be torn down by another boy wanting revenge just the next day.

It took Atem a long time to come to terms with what happened, and even longer to learn how to use and control his powers. By the time he could return to his home, too much time had gone by. Everywhere he went people spoke as the sea people spoke, foreign rulers by the name of Ptolemy sat on the throne, temples and statues were decimated or else reclaimed by these others in place of their original deities. Everyone and everything he’d known and loved were long gone. Upset, he travelled the worlds above and below. As is his nature, when he found something unjust, he did his best to set things right. As is his new nature, he judged by luring the accused into games to test their hearts.

He stays mostly solitary for nearly 3000 years - not entirely by his own choice, but by circumstance. He’s old and powerful and appeared out of nowhere, and other beings of all kinds are wary of him. Until he comes upon a sweet, hurting boy named Yugi who asks to be his friend.

circa 1820 CE, Japan, near the end of the Edo period

Yugi is very smart, and very small, and very nice. His niceness often gets taken advantage of, and his size makes it easy to pick on him. If he fought back, maybe they’d leave him alone, but he hates hurting anyone. His grandfather, a merchant, always tries to convince Yugi to stand up for himself. Yugi doesn’t listen. He gets sadder and more reclusive by the year, until he barely looks anyone in the eyes anymore, even his own mother as she helps bandage him up from the latest “game” that horrible group of older kids “played” with him.

In an effort to cheer up his grandson, Sugoroku gives him a golden puzzle from a far away land. He’d been hoping to make big money off it, but they were well-enough off as is, and his grandson’s happiness mattered more than some extra coins in his pocket. He’d known the puzzle was difficult, but it takes even Yugi years to complete it. Years of suffering, and growing, and learning. His grandfather worries. Yugi is of course interested in taking over Sugoroku’s business, and already assists him greatly, but without being able to stand up for himself the boy will have trouble in the world. He worries as well about revealing the truth to Yugi - the truth that Sugoroku is himself a demon, and so his son, and so is Yugi, though to a much lesser extent since Yugi’s mother is human.

When Yugi completes the puzzle, it immediately summons a disoriented and shocked Atem to his side. Cue screaming and yelling from both of them, a rather hilarious scene of Yugi chucking the puzzle at Atem’s head reflexively before hiding behind an upturned table. Atem, freaked out by what just happened, also takes cover behind a screen. He’d never been summoned like THAT before, it felt completely different to a summoning circle or a prayer or anything else, and certainly never by someone who immediately started screaming at him. 

Tentatively, after the dust settles, Yugi peeks out from behind the table. Atem hears him shifting and peaks out as well. More silence. Yugi tries to come to terms that he’s summoned what appears to be a demon. Atem tries to come to terms with how cute the screaming young man is. Yugi clears his throat and offers a shaky greeting. Atem falls in love.

Eventually they end up in the middle of the cleaned up room, sitting on the floor, having a somewhat stilted conversation. Atem fiddles with the puzzle - what was once his magical artifact - sitting on his lap. There had been no contract, no promise, no injustice to either force or encourage Atem to stay, but he couldn’t find it in himself to leave. By the time it was dark outside, the two of them were laughing together, munching on the snacks Yugi had made while preparing dinner for his grandfather and mother, who were on their way back home from a day trip to the big markets. The knife Yugi’s using to chop the vegetables slips and slices open the base of his thumb, and while it’s not deep the pain surprises him. Atem automatically reaches out to gasp the injured appendage. This is the first time they’ve touched.

The sheer power released by Atem touching Yugi’s hand awakened Yugi’s latent demonic side, and it takes Atem a while to calm him down. The new little horns, and long ears, and wings, and tail... it was a lot to take in. Sugoroku and Ayame come home to find a delicious dinner and two demons waiting for them. It doesn’t bother them nearly as much as Yugi thought, and he finally learns the truth from his sheepish grandfather. Ayame is annoyed he’d stopped from from trying to tell him sooner, because now look what happened, you silly old man.

Atem, regardless of his feelings, didn’t want to tie the young demon down to such an old and feared one like himself, and intended to leave as soon as he knew Yugi was in good hands. But, he can’t just let Sugoroku teach him - even for a demon, he was quite old in body while Atem remained young (another thing people found terrifying, for just how much power did Atem have to appear naturally young after 3000 years?), so he stayed and helped train Yugi. Yugi did everything he could to impress Atem, not even realising his own feelings for a good while; once he did, he redoubled his efforts and became even more mischievous and flirty. Eventually, Atem couldn’t take it any longer and confessed, and they were bonded.

Seto was only trying to summon an ancient demon by the name of Atem, a solver of puzzles and bringer of justice, both to help him look for Mokuba using demonic magic and to possibly learn from him. Seto also gets Atem’s equally tiny boyfriend, Yugi, who is not even nearly ancient but quite older than Seto, a fact that irks him greatly as they’re both shorter than he was at age 12.

But, they’re both so, so clever. And so, so... hard to resist. He wants to hate it, wants to believe they’re magically influencing him somehow, but he’s too confident in his abilities to believe it.

Seto enters a joint contract with them (though Yugi was willing to help even without one, but it has it’s benefits). Together, they hunt down particularly nasty pests and find major leads to Mokuba. And fall in love, of course. 

[spellshite]

yet another rant

I’m sorry to y’all that will stumble on this post because right now I need to rant about work to get this out of the system.

So, in the end I was able to find a job after years of job hunting. Good. It’s only a trainee contract, with low pay but at least I would earn something and get some of that fucking work experience that I don’t have and that is required for every fucking job, even the entry-level/apprentice ones. It’s a full-time, but it’s a split shift with three free hours between the two halves so it looked like it could work good enough.

I thought that I could go to the nearby manga café to read or watch some netflix on my phone...yeah, but I forgot that now that manga café is also a pub so until summer it will open only in the afternoon when I’ll start my shift. All the other cafés in that place have the same opening hours so I end up walking randomly, sitting for some time on a bench on the promenade, getting tired and bored waiting for my shift to start again. That’s not good. Three hours are a lot. Some times I was able to ask my parents to pick me up so I’d be able to eat at home and get back there without having to worry about finding where to park the car. But I can’t do this all time, when the tourist season will start the traffic will become HELL.

Another problem is that my boss is ALWAYS LATE even if he lives something like 10 minutes away from there, in the next town. While I live farther so I have to wake up early to avoid traffic and get on time to work. And after getting to work I have to wait around 20-30 minutes before he shows up (I don’t have the keys so I have to just stand there and wait) in the morning while in the afternoon he can be 30 mins to ONE HOUR late. “A bit of latecomer” my ass. You are ALWAYS SERIOUSLY LATE. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

So, only a week passed and I’m already tired of this.

How can you make your coffee bar work if you don’t even care about opening on time? Why you always take home the “leftovers” (brioches and focaccia, sometimes that bakery-kind of pizza) when you can keep them to see if someone will buy them in the afternoon?

You know that you have to train me, right? I know how to slice in half a fucking piece of focaccia to add the ham, you saw that I learnt how to use the expresso machine (that I already knew how to use bc my parents have one of those tiny ones for home, so I just needed to learn which button does what) and that I’m already getting good at preparing the milk for cappuccinos and macchiatos. But most of the time I’m only taking the trays with stuff to the tables and cleaning. Mostly cleaning.

Also, this job is making me dysphoric because his father (who did the job’s interviews) chose me not only because I “seem quiet and polite”, but because “you are a girl, girls are better at cleaning and keeping everything tidy”. What the fuck man.

Yeah, actually I’m good because my parents taught me how to clean the house, especially because I lived by myself alone for two years. Your kid got his highschool diploma and you gave him a bar and an apartment in the nearby town where to stay when working. And he never worked before that. And I don’t think that he’s any good at cooking since he needed to learn how to slice a fucking piece of bread or how to clean the floor. He was genuinely surprised that I knew how to slice bread. WTF. IT’S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE KID. AND YOU SHOULD BE LEARNING HOW TO BE ON FUCKING TIME, YOU LAZYASS. INSTEAD OF THINKING ABOUT RECORDING ANOTHER VIDEO OF YOU MAKING A DRINK TO PUT ONTO INSTAGRAM IT’S BETTER IF YOU STOP OPENING AN HOUR LATE.

Easter and the summer season will be hell with this kid.

Also, monday I was called for another job offer as a trainee. If only they where faster than these ones. Maybe I won’t be stuck with this kid.

In this moment I feel like a babyboomer ranting onto a “lazy” millennial (little note: I’m 25, going to be 26 in Dec, while he’s 20). BUT SERIOUSLY AFTER FUCKING FIVE YEARS OF JOB HUNTING I HAVE TO END UP WITH A KID FRESHLY OUT OF HIGHSCHOOL WITH A BAR THAT HE DOESN’T EVEN LOOK INTERESTED IN OPENING ON TIME.

I accepted because it was the only time I got an offer to be hired. I wanted to get a job so my parents would stop nagging me about not having a job (also to have my own money to get a new pc or whatever I wanted) and also to gain some experience for a future job. Maybe it was my fault for accepting right away but I was in need and there were no hints about this. I didn’t like his father’s “women like you are good at cleaning” because 1 that feels a bit misogynistic because women can be good at everything and not only for cleaning and 2 because I’m not a woman, even if I’m out only to my parents and I still need to get an appointment to know something about how to start T (I found the right number but I work in those hours) so I still look like a boyish girl...but still...I needed a job.

Right now I’m thinking to try calling back that number for the other trainee offer, to know something more about that, maybe tomorrow while waiting the start of my shift and the latecomer...while now I could read more attentively my contract to see if there is something that could help, maybe if there is written something about ending early the contract. If not...well I’ll stick with this until the end of these three months and then I’ll tell them to fuck off. I don’t want to work 12hrs (even if my contract is 8hrs a day, during summer they’ll be open 12hrs and I feel like they will get me work those extra hours.)

[deliverydefresas]

masters of the scene

This has been on my drafts since June yet I’m only writing (and posting it ofc) now. The idea came out in the middle of the night, and somehow I managed to wake up and tell Pau before it erased from my mind completely. 

Shout out to cupcake and my baked goods bc without them I’ll probs would’ve have never managed to do it, and probs would never written it lol 

It’s an au i think you’d like so I really hope you do <3 

AU: Matteo Balsano is a famous singer who has been crushing on this one girl he saw every day behind a window many years ago, back when he first started recording his debut album and inspired his first big hit, “Princesa”. Luna Valente, professional Olympic skater turned actress is at a local (and very popular) talk show to promote her breakout movie. This is where it all starts. 

ITALIAN POP PRINCE OFF THE MARKET?

RUMOR HAS IT MATTEO BALSANO, ARGENTINA’S FAVORITE ITALIAN BOY HAS FOUND HIMSELF A NEW GIRLFRIEND. SEEN LAST NIGHT AT A POPULAR CLUB IN BUENOS AIRES, WITNESSES AFFIRM STRANGER’S SINGER WAS ACCOMPANIED BY A ‘BEAUTIFUL BLACK-HAIRED BEAUTY’ AND THE COUPLE COULDN’T KEEP THEIR HANDS OFF EACH OTHER.

IS THIS THE END OF HIS PLAYBOY ERA? READ MORE ON PAGE 26!

“Why do you even bother reading that bullshit, bro?”

“It’s amusing how they’re so sure you’re dating your cousin.” His best friend told him, sipping on his coffee while flipping over the pages of the tween magazine that had been delivered that morning on his doorstep.

He groaned, disgusted. “It’s not amusing, it’s fucking gross.”

“If you had let me clarify since day one who Flor was to you, this wouldn’t be happening.” Gastón reminded him, taking another small sip of his cup. He resumed his reading once he found the page with that article; “hey look, they say her name is Clara and that you’ve been dating for over two months; ‘a whole new record for our Italian Casanova Balsano!’” Matteo flipped him off.

“First of all, ‘day one’ would mean you were my lawyer at 19, without even finishing one year in Law School, you dumbass. And second, it was you who gave me the idea of protecting Flor’s privacy.”

“I was very smart at 19, thank you very much.” Gastón threw the magazine at him, which he dodged easily and got into the kitchen and prepare himself an espresso, but smiled fondly at his friend anyway.

It was hard to believe so much time had passed since he was discovered in that small bar years ago, when all he had left were his songs, his guitar, and the support of his best friend for over fifteen years. Going against his father’s wish of a diplomatic future for him hadn’t been easy, especially when you’re an eighteen-year-old boy with no working experience or a survival plan. Having had his parents’ back his whole life, the abrupt change of living alone and financially supporting himself was a challenge he hadn’t foreseen for at least another four years; but it had been an experience so groundbreaking, and so eye-opening that he wouldn’t dare to have it any other way, at all. Gastón had helping him a lot by letting him crash in his room multiple times, as well as approving and correcting his songwriting before he even presented it to a crowd.

His way of repaying had been hiring him as his lawyer as soon as he was out of law school, even if it went against his management’s ideals. Matteo would rather have someone he trusted 100% and minded his interests first, than a stranger whose decisions would favor anyone but him. Call him stupid, or naïve, but he had blind faith in Gastón, and knew it had been for the best. His friend hadn’t been first in his class for nothing. (He did like to joke it had been because of his pretty face and good hair, though).

"At least now they'll drop that 'Mambar' crap, since I'm 'off the market' and whatnot."  

"I don't know, bro;" Gastón laughed, "they're capable of saying you're cheating on Flor with your ex." 

Matteo groaned again when he realized Périda was right. Dating Ámbar back in the day had been proved to be a mistake, even when they'd never confirmed their relationship to the media (or anyone outside their circle of friends); because the rumor hill and theories didn't disappear to this day. Gastón liked to joke that he could get married and have ten kids, and even then Ámbar would get mentioned as the mistress at least once. It certainly didn't help that he shared management with her, since they always made sure they were photographed at any event they happened to be at the same time. They were lucky they didn't hate each other or were dating anyone else yet, because it'd make everything more annoying. 

"She still in town?" Gastón passed him his cup, and he dropped it in the sink for them to clean later. He nodded. 

"Yeah, she's got a promo interview for her movie with Jazmín tonight, then she leaves for promo tour past-tomorrow morning. She invited us to the show, by the way." 

His friend arched his brows, questioning, "to Ja Jazmín? She's not trying to set me up with Delfi again, is she?" 

Matteo smirked, "how did you know?" He laughed when his friend's face turned white, "don't worry, stud, I heard she's seeing Pedro now; you lost your chance with her. Ámbar just said she wanted to say her goodbye's since they're leaving right after the premiere tomorrow night, and will be out of the country for a month and a half." 

"That's never stopped her from disappearing before without telling you, though. Not even when you dated." The italian shrugged. It wouldn't be the first time Ámbar planned something for her convenience without explaining it to him first; and he trusted her enough to be sure it wouldn't put him in a bad place to the public. She could be a mean bitch, but she wasn't one to hit that low. 

"Beats me. Maybe she just wants more promo, since the RB guys will be there, too." 

"Her name isn't enough, now?" Gastón joked, grabbing his portfolio from the couch, arranging his tie with his free hand. It was almost nine, and he didn't doubt his friend was late already. Frankly, he didn't even need to work at his dad's firm, since he paid him more than enough to be his only client; but his best friend wouldn't dare to leave his family's business to a stranger once his dad retired. 

Matteo shook his head, "more like, her name's the only recognizable one. The protagonist and her co-protagonists are all professional skaters; Ámbar's the only professional actress turned skater for the film." 

Gastón whistled lowly, "blondie really knows how to pick challenges, doesn't she." 

"She did date me, y'know." 

"Sure thing, casanova. I'm leaving now, don't miss me too much, darling." Jokingly, he blew him a kiss, which his friend caught in the air and, with a wink, left him to go to work - already late. 

Since he'd finished his latest tour a month ago, and was procrastinating songwriting, Matteo decided he'd spend the morning sleeping. He'd order pizza in the afternoon, maybe sleep some more and then shower so Gastón and he could leave some time after dinner. 

For now, though, his bed was calling to him. 

“Luna, we’re on in twenty.”  

She nodded, smiling as nicely as she could with her nerves doing flip backs in her belly. Ámbar had reassured her Jazmín was nothing but nice, but there was a little voice in the back of her head that was screaming with excitement. She was not only going to be in national TV, but also in one of the most popular (if not the most popular) talk shows in the last decade. Ja Jazmín was it when you wanted your name to be out there. Her background wasn’t in the film industry by any means, but she knew very well what this opportunity meant for her and her career.

Even if she didn’t plan to leave skating like, ever, her dream was opening her own rink and teaching people her passion, and she was working very hard to achieve the recognition she needed to make it happen one day.

Her parents laughed that with two Olympic Medals in her bag, she still chose to go out of her comfort zone and pursue an acting career; but how could she not, when the Marissa Mint, the three times gold medalist asked her personally to play her in her autobiographical movie? Her idol, the one person she had looked up to in her professional life, asked her to play her, a legend in the skating community. Luna couldn’t say yes fast enough.

And so it began; after winning her first gold in the 2020 Olympics, she took a break to start her new career move. She spent a whole year with Juliana (as she had asked to be called), learning and practicing all the moves, steps and choreographies that had made her what she was to date; the best female skater known. And even then, she still didn’t feel like one year had been enough to learn everything she had to offer, but rehearsals and filming schedules were approaching, and her one-on-one had to end.

Soon she was joined by Ramiro Ponce, a silver-medalist male skater that was to play her love interest; Jim Medina, bronze medalist that had been only decimals away from silver, and a close friend she’d made since they were both in the 2016 Olympics, and who played one of her team mates. Then there was the only professional actress turned skater in the movie, Argentina’s princess, Ámbar Smith. Luna had to admit she’d been intimidated by her in the beginning, her icy attitude and proud personality made her a little hard to get to know her, but the girl took a challenge and surpassed it. By the end of her training, if Luna hadn’t known she had never skated before in her life, she wouldn’t have guessed it. After all, she had had to learn how to skate Olympic-worthy, not just professionally. She played the rival’s team’s captain, and she was splendid. Luna admired her a lot for that, since Olympic skating was very hard to achieve after just one year of training.

Once group training started, the small group formed a nice relationship. She could say, honestly, that these people were her friends and she appreciated them a lot.

A year later, months after filming had ended, it was time to start promoting the movie all around the world, sharing with the public what Luna liked to call ‘a new side of a legend’, since the movie itself wasn’t just skating, but also the aftermath of one of the most heartbreaking falls in sport’s community.

“Earth to Luna?” her best friend’s sweet voice called, gaining Luna’s attention to the real world again.

“Is it time already, Nina?” She asked, shaking her hands, wishing it were that easy to calm herself and get rid of her nerves. Her friend smiled, but shook her head in negative.

“Jazmín’s team came to say Ámbar wanted to introduce you to some of her friends before the show started, since they’re making a brief appearance to show you and the movie support.”

“Her friends?” She repeated, trying to remember if the blonde girl had told her about it before. Her mind answered with silence. She knew Ámbar had asked her to invite the Rollerband, since Simón was her best friend and she knew it, but beside that, Ámbar hadn’t spoken about inviting more famous people with her.

Nina shrugged, “I heard she invited Matteo Balsano and Delfina Alzamendi, but you already know Delfi. Maybe Matteo invited someone else, too?”

“She knows Matteo Balsano?”

Nina laughed, most likely at her lack of knowledge in popular culture. “He sang with her in that musical years ago, ‘Prófugos’, I think.”

“Oh, the one where she played an Asylum escapee, right?” Nina nodded, extending her hand to help her stand up from her chair, “I didn’t know Matteo starred there, too.”

“He didn’t, he just sang the promotional song with her.”

Luna nodded, flattening the skirt of her dress while she stood up, stumbling a little thanks to the height of her heels. She loved Yam to death, but her choosing on heels could be her death. Besides, she wasn’t that little, she really didn’t need that much additional height.

“Well, my dear Watson, shall we go meet Princess’s friends?”

“We shall, my dear Sherlock.”

“You finish my cupcakes and I swear to anything you find holy, Balsano, your balls will be decorations for my car’s mirror.”

Matteo gulped his last bite of a strawberry cupcake, not out of fear but because if he didn’t, he’d probably choke on laughter. Gastón, sitting beside him, wasn’t as thoughtful and choked on his chocolate cupcake.

“You say the most endearing things to me, Ámbar. Why did I let you go, again?”

“I let you go.”

“To-may-to, to-mah-to.”

His friend scoffed from her make up chair, “I didn’t invite you to eat my food, you ass.” Matteo rolled his eyes, grabbing another cupcake from the food table, and licked the top of the icing.

“Then why did you? We both know it’s not because you’re leaving after tomorrow, as I’m going to the premiere tomorrow.”

Ámbar smirked, turning away from the mirror to look at him, “I have a surprise for you.”

He was immediately suspicious, “it’s not another song about mirrors, is it?” Her smirk turned into a scowl.

“You know what? I changed my mind. You can choke on that cupcake and die, Matteo Bastardo.”

Gastón, who had finished choking by now, gave her a thumbs-up. “Nice one, blondie.”    

“Eh, I give it a seven. Not very original.” A voice called from the door, taking them by surprise. Jazmín winked at them, leaving the door open as she walked into the dressing room. She kissed everyone on the cheek as a greeting before she spoke again, “why do we want Balsanito to die?”

“Isn’t existing a good enough one?” Ámbar said, gaining Matteo’s middle finger in response.

“Is this the way you greet your hostess? I came here to greet you, and this is what I get. Shame on you, I should just say a monologue on how much you suck.” Jazmín joked, and put her hands on her hips in mockery. Her words, of course, fell on deaf ears.

Matteo was about to respond when a knock on the door interrupted them. The first one to turn was Ámbar, and when she saw who it was, smirked again in his direction.

“Surprise.” She mouthed at him, standing up. Matteo frowned, confused as he wasn’t sure what she was talking about; then, he turned to look over where she was looking, too.

He froze.

In a couple seconds, he was taken back to six years ago, outside a recording studio; watching her smile, laugh, beaming at a person who wasn’t him.

“It’s you.” An affirmation in a mere whisper. Green eyes blinked at him once, twice, confused.

“I beg your pardon?” A question in a polite, yet stunned squeak.

Matteo could barely make out Jazmín’s amused call.

“Well, well, well… Isn’t this interesting?”  

[daddariom-archived]

✩ !! the long ship meme thingy

( send ‘✩’ for the following )

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice? both of them. emilia is very stubborn so she’s prone to it, too.Who threatens to leave but never actually does? emilia!Who actually keeps their word and leaves? jesper yikes :(Who trashes the house? probably jesper Do either of them get physical? nopeHow often do they argue/disagree? ohhh every time emilia tries to get jesper to change the way he lives or every time she picks him up when he’s fucked up……Who is the first to apologise? it depends on the situation and what their disagreement or fight was about. i feel like they don’t really apologise they just turn up at each other’s door and things are back to normal again lmao

Sex:

Who is on top? depends!!Who is on the bottom? also depends fdjghjWho has the strangest desires? uhhhhh neither ??? omfgAny kinks? ………….none that i know abotu yTET sfdsdhgkdajkWho’s dominant in bed? …..jesperIs head ever in the equation? you bet If so, who is better at performing it? dhfgjdhfsjk JESPEr probably because emilia’s not as experienced Ever had sex in public? nopeWho moans the most? ohhh…..both??Who leaves the most marks? em because she likes her fingernails long ;))Who screams the loudest? EMILIAWho is the more experienced of the two? jesper lelDo they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? …uhm…..it ….. depends on the situation lMAORough or soft? phew…rough AND soft!How long do they usually last? JKSHGKJDH A WHILE??? idk???? Is protection used? ……..emilia’s on birth control so uh that and most likely condoms???Does it ever get boring? uhm helloooooooo of course notWhere is the strangest place they’d have sex? in emilia’s car LMAO

Family:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children? they don’t really think about it because having children is such a huge task they both probably don’t see themselves capable of handling just yetIf so, how many children do your muses want/have? -Who is the favorite parent? honestly i feel like jesper would be because he’d probably be a looooot more chill and allow more things lmaoWho is the authoritative parent? emilia for sureWho is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school? jesperrrrrWho lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around? also jesper fdjgjskdWho turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children? BOTh!!!!Who goes to parent teacher interviews? both because emilia would want jesper to come along.Who changes the diapers? emiliaWho gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby? they’d take turns!Who spends the most time with the children? both of them duhWho packs their lunch boxes? emilia!!Who gives their children ‘the talk’? JKHFSJKDKJ JESPER and emilia is sitting next to him trying not to dieWho cleans up after the kids? emmmmmmmmiiiiillllliiiiaaaaaaaaaWho worries the most? UHHHH DEFINITELY EM LMAOWho are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from? JESPER

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle? emilia!!Who is the little spoon? also emilia lmaoWho gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? …jesper but i think once time goes on emilia could be That Girl as wellWho struggles to keep their hands to themself? boootttthhhhhHow long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable? all niiiiiiightWho gives the most kisses? both omg they luv kissing each otherWhat is their favourite non-sexual activity? watching movies together but getting caught up in each other LELWhere is their favourite place to cuddle? either their couch oooorrrr their bedWho is more likely to playfully grope the other? jesper dgahjkfkHow often do they get time to themselves? LMAO all the time omg

Sleeping:

Who snores? neither???If both do, who snores the loudest? - Do they share a bed or sleep separately? well considering they don’t live in the same apartment (yet) they currently sleep separately UNLESS emilia spends the night If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? cozy up!Who talks in their sleep? emilia, sometimes. it depends on her dreams lmaoWhat do they wear to bed? emilia likes to sleep naked ….. or in jesper’s shirts heh n jesper ?? probs sleeps in his boxers?!??! or also naked LELAre either of your muses insomniacs? nah but mb jesper a little??Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? …noDo they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? emilia’s prone to wrapping her limbs around jesper djhfWho wakes up with bed hair? em wakes up looking like her hair celebrated a huge fuckin party because she moves a lot in her sleepWho wakes up first? em!Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? emilia!!What is their favourite sleeping position? oh uh emilia likes sleeping on her stomach! Who hogs the sheets? em :/Do they set an alarm each night? nope!Can a television be found in their bedroom? emilia’s got one in hers lmaoWho has nightmares? jesper, probably :(Who has ridiculous dreams? emilia dhgjkdskjWho sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? omfg emiliaWho makes the bed? neither they’re both too lazy lmaoWhat time is bed time? it depends!! emilia tends to go to sleep very early because she knows there’s a chance jesper will call her up in the middle of the night but if she’s already out taking care of him it can definitely be pretty darn lateAny routines/rituals before bed? emilia tidies up before she goes to bed.Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? ohhh probably jesper because he’s hungover and all

Work:

Who is the busiest? emilia, once she finds a job lmaoWho rakes in the highest income? ?????????????????Are any of your muses unemployed? both of them currently LMAOWho takes the most sick days? emilia to take care of jesperWho is more likely to turn up late to work? emiliaWho sucks up to their boss? emilia because she has to make up for being late and missing a lot of days dghfjkkjdWhat are their jobs? -Who stresses the most? eMIIIIIILLLLLIIIAAAAAADo your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? em will despise everything until she finds something she enjoys doing Are your muses financially stable? lel emilia gets financial help from her parents but that’s about it

Home:

Who does the washing? emilia. she’ll wash jesper’s too to make sure it’s taken care of lmaoWho takes out the trash? emWho does the ironing? also emWho does the cooking? neither, they have a lot of takeout or order food lmaoWho is more likely to burn the house down just trying? emilia dfhsaghkjdaWho is messier? jesperWho leaves the toilet roll empty? neither goDWho leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? both until emilia tidies up KJDJKKJWho forgets to flush the toilet? GROSS neither Who is the prankster around the house? jespeeeerrrrrrrWho loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? ….emiliaWho mows the lawn? they don’t have a lawn wtfWho answers the telephone? emiliaWho does the vacuuming? emiliaWho does the groceries? emilia Who takes the longest to shower? they shower together ;))))Who spends the most time in the bathroom? ok emilia because she likes taking her time

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem? yah until emilia gets some from her parents lmaoHow many cars do they own? emilia owns oneDo they own their home or do they rent? rent.Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? uh…i’m inclined to say near the coast bc i luv the coast but we haven’t talked about this so idk!Do they live in the city or in the country? city….Do they enjoy their surroundings? emilia sure does, jesper probably does because emilia’s there :)What’s their song? ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh idk!! that’s a tough one lmaoWhat do they do when they’re away from each other? they sext text :)Where did they first meet? at a party!!How did they first meet? me: asks faaya about this before she answers this. jESPer offered em some pills at said party and emilia was instantly like oH i gotta take care of him, he’s a wreck, i like him!Who spends the most money when out shopping? emilia :(Who’s more likely to flash their assets? which assets klASHKJHKJWho finds it amusing when the other trips over? wow neither omgAny mental issues? WEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLL noWho’s terrified of bugs? emilia hdkskjWho kills the spiders around the house? jespeeerrrrrrTheir favourite place? their apartments omg Who pays the bills? emilia’s parents LMAODo they have any fears for their future? oh god yES so manyWho’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? jesper!Who uses up all of the hot water? emilia omfgWho’s the tallest? jesper!Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other? both of theeemmmmmWho wanders around in their underwear? both HAWho sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? emiliaWhat do they tease each other about? nsfwWho is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? WOW NEITHERDo they have mutual friends? no :/Who crushed first? oh uh wow maybe jesper because emilia was really oblivious to it allAny alcohol or substance related problems? yeah jesper :((Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? jesper :(((((((((Who swears the most? JESPER

[8circles]

i finally got to see the national live!!

so after 6 years of falling in love with the national, i finally got to see them live yesterday!! this is gonna be super long lmao

since the national never come to my home country during tour, when they announced their tour i booked the tickets without even knowing whether i was returning to manchester or even the uk. so when i got my offer to return i was relieved af lmao. a once in a lifetime opportunity was worth the risk and anxious waiting LOL

anyway

seeing them live was like a whole new world for me. when bryce came out to perform with the opening act (who were very good!) i was so overwhelmed. this guy, part of the band i love so much, was right in front of my face!

(like literally, cause i ran in after getting my merch and managed to snag a place right at the barrier!)

ive watched tonnes of their live performances on video, but nothing prepared me for how great they were. since bryce was right in front of me i ended up paying most attention to him.. but then when hed play the piano aaron took his place and id end up paying attention to aaron... sorry matt, scott and bryan!!!!

of course matt is such a character that hed command your attention some way or another. i did make myself look at scott and bryan at points in time bc i love all of them! i found it super cute how scott and bryan (and at one point bryce) would hold like a shaker instrument and use it when theyre not playing their own instrument. its like theyre always gonna be involved somehow lmao.

at the beginning it felt a little detached compared to the bastille show i went to last year. but i dont blame them or think its bad, cause at bastille’s dan would stand close to the stage while matt prefers to hang about with the band. its just two different performers. it kind of made me think that i was watching the national perform in their own world.. until matt stopped midway through empire line and asked security to help someone.

at that point it kind of hit me that wow, actually we're in the same space! like im not actually watching them in their own world, like im there too! and theyre not in their own space either, theyre watching us too! and of course, how nice of matt to stop because someone wasnt okay 😭 he started all over again once he made sure they were okay. by the end he said "just some problems with dehydration. stay cool!"

and he threw a plastic pint across the theatre and i got some white wine on me. LOL. at another point he threw a red solo cup so hard i think it hit the opposite wall cause there was a super loud sound. then he went on to say "...one day..." during the last song he brought out a bottle of white wine or prosecco on stage but said he said couldn’t open it because it was corked and it was hard to open those on stage with his teeth(!!!) he asked for another bottle and smashed the corked one on the ground. i love drunk matt so much.

bryce is so interesting to watch tbh. he keeps changing guitars lmao. i got so excited every time he brought out the blue one, bc i had a super clear view of his bow hanging from his mic stand and i was like "vanderlyle?????"

in the end they didnt play it, but no matter! they played so many good songs that i cant complain. my jaw hit the floor when they played hard to find cause i wasnt expecting that at all! i kept saying "oh my god" when i heard the chords lmao. it was so beautiful. i remembered the interview where one of the twins said they think hard to find is one of the most beautiful songs theyve ever written. i felt so honoured that i could listen to it live! they also played this is the last time - my favourite off twfm! i think a lot of people in the theatre love that song too! we were all shouting “it takes a lot of pain to pick me up” together. 

of course they played standard classics too. it felt so good to sing along to bloodbuzz and i need my girl. i kind of expected they were gonna play england since it was their first show in england for this tour so when aaron started playing the chords i was super happy. mr november was the best in terms of crowd involvement, you could hear everyone shouting I WONT FUCK US OVER together. conversation 16, too.. everyone screaming "CAUSE IIIIMM EEEVILLLL" was so much fun. slow show and apartment story were so great live as well. singing “SO WORRY NOT ALL THINGS ARE WELL” was so wonderful. during fake empire the twins did the guitar thing as they always do. i was so happy! 

tbh when i was there i mostly felt out of place since most of the people there were white hipsters and they came with their friends/partners so i barely talked to anyone, but singing all the classics live made me forget all of that awkwardness.

the new album was good live too. carin at the liquor store is my fave off the album and it sounded so beautiful live. matt went one octave higher during turtleneck and he sounded so clear. i was actually so surprised at how clear and almost rasp-free he sounded! we shouted “great uncle valentine jester” during day i die, it was so great!  they dedicated apartment story and born to beg to a lady who took care of them while they were in manchester. the opening act luluc came out and sang with them during born to beg. it was beautiful and perfect! ive been falling in love more and more with born to beg with each listen, and the live performance really sealed the deal with how much i love it.

terrible love was the last song off the setlist and it’s my first favourite song from the national so listening to it live was like coming full circle of some sort. during that song (and mr. november) matt went out and leaned over the barriers so that people could reach out and hug him. during terrible love he was super close to me, but i was too scared to touch him cause so many people were clinging onto him already but he was literally right there! he also stood at the edge pretending to fall from the other side. a member of the audience hugged his knees to stop him from falling!

bryce kind of smiled at my general direction at one point when he was setting up his guitar. the girl next to me blew kisses at him, i wish i did or said something too, but honestly i just stood there and melted into a puddle. during fake empire bryce went to play the piano so aaron was on my side of the stage and he waved at my general direction when they finished. a double whammy! matt came over to our side of the stage during turtleneck and screamed the chorus at us. it was so surreal. waiting for two hours outside in the cold and rain was definitely worth the place right in the front.

of course i have a soft spot for the twins, so seeing them live was the best part of my night. bryce (and at some points aaron) being in front of me was a dream come true. it’s no doubt that bryce is fantastic at guitar, but hearing him live and actually picking up the way he plays with my own ears was really something else. not only his playing, but also how he was using all the different guitars and using the mics on them and all the different pedals - it was all like a work of genius. i didn’t really get to see aaron’s artistry since his stuff was on the opposite side of the stage and he played more piano (which was on his side of the stage) but i could clearly see him playing when matt stepped back and let the twins perform guitar together. i caught him smirking at bryce on multiple occasions. i ascended each time. 

it was obvious that bryce was the more shimmery, flashy player when it came to guitar, so i tried to distinguish their styles of piano too! maybe it’s just me, but i think aaron has a deeper sound and bryce has a sharper sound! maybe that’s why they take turns for specific songs. regardless, they were so great, playing together and separately. i admire them greatly since they have so many projects and interests and even though their musical interests differ, they end up intertwining. seeing them live really showed that tbh!

it was the best night of my life. i wish i could be going to today’s show as well, but unfortunately i don’t have the money for that! anyway, everything ive always dreamed of already came true when i managed to stand right in the front and watch the national in all their glory perform live. i never expected to be right in the front - literally at the barrier - but i was! and it was worth the two hour wait in the cold without any food (this was my fault for forgetting to eat before coming, but it was worth it tbh!). hopefully i’ll be able to go for another concert if possible because that was probably the best experience ive ever had.

[muirmarie]

Okay, I'm going to need more info on the Ian/Alan/Ellie OT3 agenda because it never occurred to me before and that suddenly seems like a crime

This is a million years late, but. Some Facts:

1) Ian Malcolm is into Ellie Sattler the first time he sees her face. He /falls/ for her the first time he sees her Science.

2) Alan Grant yelling “Ian! Freeze!” is the exact moment that Alan realizes that he is doomed to want to protect this mega-annoying quasi-scientist forever and ever amen, and that eventually this is going to Backfire in Spectacular Ways.

3) "Kids get scared” / “What’s to be scared about? It’s just a little hiccup in the power” / “I didn’t say I was scared” / “I didn’t say you were scared” / “I know”

4) Ian’s “damn, girl” and Alan’s “that’s my girl” faces, respectively, at “women inherit the earth”

5) Ellie legitimately appreciating just how hot Ian Malcolm is, and Alan never acting even the slightest bit jealous until he pushes back a little when Ian checks to see if she’s ~~available~~

6) They all have TERRIBLE self-preservation instincts, but I will be truly and utterly damned before you can convince me that Alan is not, by the end of the movie, Fully Prepared to Risk Life and Limb to Save His Dumb Boyfriend and His Perfect Girlfriend (even tho his gf will def save him first)

7) Ellie refusing to go for the gun because she refuses to leave the door because she knows Alan can’t hold it on his own, and maybe she’ll be fast enough to kill the raptor but she knows she won’t be fast enough to save Alan

8) Ian Malcolm’s laugh-growl is Enough To Turn Any “Straight” Man into a  Bisexual Man (and also for the record Alan Grant has never been straight hdu that kid had the biggest crush on Harrison Ford in Indiana Jones, WHERE DO YOU THINK THE HAT CAME FROM, that boy is a solid 3, he’s just a chill 3, Ian, NOT EVERYBODY HAS TO WEAR BLACK LEATHER IN 80 DEGREE WEATHER AND WEAR SHIRTS THAT TIGHT OKAY, he is a Paleontology Bisexual™ okay)

9) “the next ex-Mrs.-Malcolm” okay buddy we know you’re looking for the next ex-Mr-or-Mrs-Malcolm and literally at this point you are definitely curious about if anyone on this island wants to be next ex-Dr-Malcolm bc you are getting a definite thing for doctors, kiddo

10) Ftr there is not one point in the movie where Ian Malcolm is not looking at Ellie without either Severe Interest or Extreme Awe

11) Alan is the same except also add Long Suffering Fondness because lordy she gives that boy a run for his money and HER LAUGHING AT HIM WHEN SHE SENDS THE KIDS AT HIM IS JUST A THING OF TRUE AND UTTER BEAUTY (as are all the other times she laughs at him, she laughs at him a LOT, their love is Pure™)

12) Ian Malcolm would take True Offense if I say him being involved would make their love more pure, so let’s just say it would definitely make it more interesting

13) Real Talk: The thing about OT3s that are so great is how they bring out different sides in different people, and obviously canon only works in the scope of the movie, but there is enough in there to pull out so many threads of maybe-could-be-would-be’s.  Some of those are:

- Ellie canonically likes teasing Alan, and Alan is canonically grumpy but fond about it all.  Ian definitely likes pushing things off shelves to see what happens, so there is no way that he would not pull Alan dramatically out of his comfort zone, but I also believe, given Alan’s talk of adaption, the way that he is so protective of those he loves (and those he so quickly falls for like Lex and Timmy), and the dumb, dumb half smile he gets sometimes, that he wouldn’t not only enjoy Ian knocking him off-balance, but that he would also give as good as he gets

- Ian is a FLIRT, gosh he’s a flirt, but y’know what???? Ellie enjoys it. And Alan is like….actually real okay with it?? Like he’s not grumbling about her flirting back or whatever, he’s p confident in her, and also he’s dealing with her, y’know, throwing small children in his path. But what are the chances that Alan is a romantic??? Like, deep down he obviously is. He probably is planning on, like, making her a ring or something. But Ian is an outward romantic, and he’ll plan dinners and he’ll make Alan wear a tie and he’ll make dinner and he’ll be so great at seduction, you guys. He will be so great at that. Alan will likely be fairly grumpy about this, too, but you know what????? He will also probably do something devastatingly romantic to the both of them, because he’s more of a still-waters-run-deep kinda guy, and you know - you just know - he’s gonna fucking buy them a house or something. Something absurd. You just know it.

- Ellie is a girl that gets what she wants. You saw how she went after trying to convince Alan how great a baby would be???? You saw her staying with the sick Triceratops???  Tenacious is the word.  And “you have no idea” is the response of the man who is head over heels for her.  If she gets it into her head that they’d make a great OT3, you know she’d do a lot of the legwork.

- Speaking of which, Ellie is the one who is going to invite Ian out to dinner when they’re stuck in hotels being interviewed/interrogated/giving their statements to every possible government organization that can get away with getting involved. Because Ian’s finally out of the hospital, and Alan keeps jerking every time a bus drives by their window, and she can’t have the bathroom door shut because she’s sure there’ll be a raptor in there if she has to open it.  Ellie is the one that gets Ian’s phone number (just in case you ever get bored Ian says when he offers it up, but even then she’s sure that his eyes skimming the room are intending the words for more than just her).  Ellie is the one that let’s Ian sleep in their bed because he’s not used to the elevation their dig is currently at and got too drunk too fast, and when Alan complains she tells him their bed is plenty big enough for the two men (it’s not) and that she needs to finish her job applications anyway (turns out dark fields and decaying bones are holding less appeal to her these days when every sound carried in the night sounds like footsteps of creatures that shouldn’t be alive but are-are-are).  Ellie is the one that leans her shoulder in the doorway at three a.m. and looks at them lying there, close together and still, somehow, continents away.  But maybe that can change. Maybe distances can be breached. Sixty-five million years ago and today have, after all. 

Anything at all can and will happen.

.

The thing about them is this:

There are a hundred thousand ways for them to get together, but all of them are due to the fact that they make more sense together than apart.

[cartographers]

@my-tripod-pupper wanted me to answer more questions/headcanons about Viktuuri as a continuation from the ones I posted on my main (here and here), so here you go! sorry this got so long :’)

6. What was their wedding like?

 It’s a very private/intimate affair. It takes place in Hasetsu because even though Viktor offers to pay for everyone in Yuuri’s life to fly elsewhere, it’s easier to do it in Hasetsu -- and honestly, Hasetsu is home. The Katsuki’s don’t mean to make it about them and they insist they can close the inn for a couple days but Viktor wants to be home where he is loved.

And the guest list is probably fairly small, which makes it easier to make it all about them. (I don’t think they’d invite the whole skating world, tbh, because Yuuri isn’t particularly close with very many people, and while Viktor knows nearly everyone, he’s not going to invite just anyone to his wedding.)

Viktor dances around the idea of Makkachin being ringbearer for months and Yuuri is sold as soon as the idea is brought to him. They plan it together, laughing while admitting that they kind of don’t have a clue what their wedding “should” look like, but they know it’ll be perfect regardless of appearance or style or even if things go wrong. (Nothing goes wrong, of course) At some point Yuuri probably tries to bow out of the planning because he doesn’t think any of his ideas are good, like “i’m not really sure what flowers we should have. i’ll pick flowers that secretly mean ‘i hate you’ or something.” and Viktor coaxes him back to their little binder of ideas and plans; all the flowers mean we love each other, yuuri!!!

Everyone takes oodles of photos, but only a select few leak out onto Instagram and the whole world is envious that they didn’t get to see things like Viktor weeping through his entire vows or Yuuri constantly dabbing the corners of his eyes with his sleeve like there legitimately was something in his eye or Viktor getting his face covered in cake only for their dog to try to jump him in an effort to lick it off. it was the best day of their life up til that point but every day after just gets better and better!!!

7. Is their friends/family supportive

I can’t think of anyone who wouldn’t be supportive tbh?? Everyone in Yuuri’s family/circle of friends is super overjoyed because this is the dude Yuuri’s been crushing on for ages and he’s actually a good guy! So they have no issue with it.

On Viktor’s side? Yakov probably has little to no input on it, he’s likely the type to ignore it because “it’s none of my business” and Viktor takes that as approval, as far as that goes. I rly don’t like the interpretation of “Yurio being disgusted by them all the time” because it feels weird sometimes with the execution. I think he’s just being a typical teenager when he’s sullen and annoyed by their attentions, but I think he grows out of being taciturn and prickly, and is like “yeah whatever, even if i didn’t like it you wouldn’t listen to me” and Viktor hears “i like it!!” ahaha

Viktor’s family is a confusing subject since everyone has different ideas and interpretations for who they are and what their relation to him is. I’ll just assume here that they’re estranged, not for bad reasons but just because that’s life. They’d approve if he told them, but they simply don’t talk.. Viktor said he neglected life and love, so I assume that he got too busy to stay close with his family :(

8. How does one comfort the other when the other is in distress/having a panic attack/crying

Okay we know canonically that neither of them are very good at this for varying levels of weird emotional-stuntedness. But they get better over time. Viktor learns that Yuuri has “tells” much like how he flubs his jumps if he’s thinking about stuff. Viktor does what he should’ve before: ask. Like “how can I help you best?” because he does *not* want to repeat his previous mistakes. Yuuri doesn’t want to be coddled or lied to when he’s panicking, he wants to be told the truth because his brain is making him believe all kinds of wild things.

If he’s already crying, he just wants Viktor to support him earnestly. Sometimes he needs to cry it out.

Viktor doesn’t want to be coddled either, but he does want to be held. A lot. I would die for touch starved!Viktor, and I also subscribe to the line of thought that Viktor has depression, very neglected depression. He’s probably been holding it in for a long time and Yuuri is someone he trusts he can let his walls down around, so he lays down, wraps his arms around Yuuri’s waist, buries his face in his stomach, and goes quiet for a while. I don’t think he’s prone to panic attacks, but if he’s in distress and not at home/a safe place, he’ll stick his face in the crook of Yuuri’s neck for a short while until he’s calm.

10. Which one stares at the other's booty like "damn" and how does the other react when catching them

as if they don’t both do this sdjkfbkjsb

Yuuri totally admires Viktor’s butt every so often but he gets very embarrassed when he’s caught so he doesn’t do it as much, or he’s very sly/subtle about it. Viktor is obviously pleased as punch when he notices, and pouts when Yuuri is embarrassed because he shouldn’t be embarrassed!

Meanwhile Viktor has plenty of opportunity to look while they’re training or when they’re bathing together, or when Yuuri is running, stretching, warming up or cooling down etc etc. It’s a Good Time for him, and Yuuri probably verbally keysmashes every time, like it never gets old. “how can viktor nikiforov think my butt is cute,” he wonders even after they’re together for 40 years

11. When they live together what kinda place do they live in? What does their home look like?

god i can’t even decide where they live. like I’m literally so torn so you know what, they’ve got a house in Russia and a house in Japan and when you walk into either of them, it’s just them. Both places are probably wildly different in layout and appearance, but it’s them.

They’re full of obligatory trinkets that the other found fascinating in the country, and they’re full of their accomplishments -- not necessarily just medals but proof of how far they’ve come together, where they’ve been. Framed photos of competitions, but instead of the photos being of them on the podium, it’s candid shots behind the scenes or hugging at the kiss and cry. The beds have too many pillows and they all get chucked to the floor because no one actually needs that many pillows. The floors are heated in Russia because Yuuri misses the way the onsen warmed up his home in the mornings. The fridge is covered in tear-away reminders (since Viktor forgets things easily) and coupons (because Yuuri doesn’t know how to not be frugal) and magnet poetry (that says sappy stuff if Viktor was there last, but oddly vulgar things if Yurio came to visit).

14. Which one rolls over in the morning to wake up the other one just to give kiss them

i’ve decided it’s Yuuri because he’s frequently like “??? can’t believe i get to sleep next to my favorite person in the world wow” and he kisses his face all over just to make sure Viktor is real and it’s not a dream

15. Have they saved each other's lives before

In an abstract sense of the word, I feel like Yuuri saved Viktor’s life. I think everything that happens in season 1 is deeper than Viktor having simple dissatisfaction with his career/ability to surprise the audience. I want to believe that before that banquet, Viktor hadn’t been enjoying things for a long time. Stammi Vicino was his longing for more, and no, Viktor wouldn’t have died if Yuuri had never shown up, but he’d likely continue to feel a bit like a shell.

I want to think that Yuuri gave him things to look forward to, gave him time. Time to be with his dog, time to learn, time to explore, time to BE with people, and to be himself. Yuuri gifted him a whole world he didn’t know about, I think, as he’s welcomed into the fold in Hasetsu. Yuuri gave him his two L words :’)

16. Does one have an interest the other think is weird but wants to listen to it regardless

dsfkjbkjsb i mean naturally. There has to be something that Viktor is into that he’s never spoken about in an interview because his identity is carefully crafted for public consumption, he didn’t think it was worth mentioning to others. So he tells Yuuri and Yuuri is like “? i had no idea you were into that!! go on...?”

and there’s gotta be something Yuuri’s into that Viktor finds...maybe not weird, but fascinating. Maybe he goes over Yuuri’s old interviews from when he was younger to help him practice the language while simultaneously learning about Yuuri, and hears a mention of something he doesn’t recognize. “What does this word mean?” he asks, and Yuuri sheepishly replies while saying “It’s, ah, something I used to like.”

“Used to?”

Yuuri says he grew out of whatever it was, but the more he explains it the more fired up he gets, and Viktor’s eyes are sparkling bc he loves when Yuuri gets passionate about something!!

25. Do people ever get annoyed of their pda

how could anyone,, ever get annoyed by this good wholesome love?? anyone who is annoyed is just secretly Jealous that they have no one in their lives who unabashedly adores them so much

30. Do they dance together

naturally!! i like to pretend this is how the pair skating started, tbh. Them practicing on the ice together in preparation for the Rostelecom Cup, which dissolved into random moves and dancing on the ice, which led to them realizing they were very good at being in sync together. (viktor already knows they can dance in-sync but yuuri forgot!)

After showing Yuuri the photos from the banquet (and there were probably videos too), Yuuri’s super shy about dancing in general, but Viktor really wants to dance with him again. On the ice isn’t good enough, so when Yuuri is practicing his form and moves off the ice, he takes Viktor’s hands and leads him into an impromptu recreation of On Love: Eros. good wholesome content, 10/10 viktor demands an encore, and whenever they’re alone with music they try things like that

(and please, i just want to imagine them taking turns leading and dipping each other and spinning around. viktor doing really embarrassing moves that aren’t remotely graceful for the sake of making yuuri laugh. yuuri copying him and making faces at him. yuuri’s stamina!! he can dance forever. viktor sitting down to catch his breath while yuuri keeps dancing, until he too stops and they dissolve into giggles)

31. Do they sing together

i wanted to jokingly say that “haha Viktor’s got a bad singing voice and it’s like the one thing he can’t do and Yuuri finds that super endearing because Viktor isn’t good at everything!” but im torn bc i’ve heard Junichi Suwabe sing and i love it. but that’s obviously not Viktor’s “““real”““ voice.

well regardless of whether or not he can sing, he probably does it all the time. Yuuri might chime in but he’s quieter, preferring to fall in behind both Viktor’s volume and the song’s volume. if they’re drinking together though, they’re a raucous mess of song and cheer, with butchered choruses and improvised instrumentals